1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:05,000
Live from the historic River Market District in downtown Kansas City, Missouri,

2
00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:09,000
from the banks of the beautiful Crystal Blue Walkers of the Missouri River,

3
00:00:09,000 --> 00:00:13,000
it is Two Douchebags and Microphone Podcast.

4
00:00:16,000 --> 00:00:22,000
Swimming in toxic masculinity and wiping their ass with politically correct washrags,

5
00:00:22,000 --> 00:00:30,000
two douchebags and a microphone invade your ear holes in 3, 2, 1.

6
00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:35,000
Two emotionally disturbed dirtbags and a popsicle will be right back.

7
00:00:35,000 --> 00:00:37,000
In a rock garden and then... Oh cool.

8
00:00:37,000 --> 00:00:39,000
Yeah, it's going to be really cool when they get done.

9
00:00:39,000 --> 00:00:43,000
So, you know, when you get a chance, Google image Filthy Bean.

10
00:00:43,000 --> 00:00:44,000
Oh yeah.

11
00:00:44,000 --> 00:00:48,000
You know Filthy Bean and hopefully they have some of the plans on that.

12
00:00:48,000 --> 00:00:52,000
If not, then you'll just see the patio that's there now and you'll see what they do to it.

13
00:00:52,000 --> 00:00:53,000
Yeah.

14
00:00:53,000 --> 00:00:56,000
So we have a Dear Douchebags letter again.

15
00:00:56,000 --> 00:00:57,000
Yay.

16
00:00:57,000 --> 00:00:58,000
Yeah.

17
00:00:58,000 --> 00:00:59,000
Thanks for writing.

18
00:00:59,000 --> 00:01:03,000
Yep. So like Four mentioned, dear douchebags.

19
00:01:03,000 --> 00:01:05,000
Alright.

20
00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:07,000
Dear Abby, not quite.

21
00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:10,000
You have questions, we have answers.

22
00:01:10,000 --> 00:01:14,000
They're not very good answers, but we have them.

23
00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:19,000
This is a question to us, but the answer is, I don't know.

24
00:01:19,000 --> 00:01:25,000
Anyhow, dear douchebags, I have a real issue with my neighbor

25
00:01:25,000 --> 00:01:28,000
letting his large Great Dane shit right in front of my mailbox.

26
00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:29,000
Oh, that's the worst.

27
00:01:29,000 --> 00:01:31,000
Yeah, I think we've all been through that.

28
00:01:31,000 --> 00:01:35,000
You step in it and yeah, you fucking open the door and stare them down

29
00:01:35,000 --> 00:01:37,000
and act like they're getting their dog out of there

30
00:01:37,000 --> 00:01:40,000
and as soon as you turn around they let their dog shit all over.

31
00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:44,000
Yeah, it's so bad that the mailman won't even deliver it in my mailbox

32
00:01:44,000 --> 00:01:48,000
because of the huge piles of shit that surround my mailbox.

33
00:01:48,000 --> 00:01:49,000
Yeah, I can see that.

34
00:01:49,000 --> 00:01:52,000
Yeah, I could too.

35
00:01:52,000 --> 00:01:56,000
I've asked him to please refrain from having his animal shit in my yard.

36
00:01:56,000 --> 00:02:00,000
He agrees with it, but then a day or two goes by and bam,

37
00:02:00,000 --> 00:02:02,000
more huge piles of Great Dane shit.

38
00:02:02,000 --> 00:02:03,000
Oh gosh.

39
00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:04,000
I'm at my end.

40
00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:07,000
Signed, No More Poo in Kalamazoo.

41
00:02:07,000 --> 00:02:10,000
See, these names are just so great.

42
00:02:10,000 --> 00:02:11,000
I love those.

43
00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:13,000
When people are sending this shit in, they're just like,

44
00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:15,000
they're coming up with the best damn names.

45
00:02:15,000 --> 00:02:17,000
Our listeners are so clever.

46
00:02:17,000 --> 00:02:18,000
They are.

47
00:02:18,000 --> 00:02:20,000
Like the first one was Gassy in Tallahassee.

48
00:02:20,000 --> 00:02:21,000
That was it.

49
00:02:21,000 --> 00:02:22,000
Yeah.

50
00:02:22,000 --> 00:02:23,000
That was awesome.

51
00:02:23,000 --> 00:02:24,000
Yeah.

52
00:02:24,000 --> 00:02:25,000
And then there was something in Philly.

53
00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:27,000
Billy in Philly or something.

54
00:02:27,000 --> 00:02:28,000
Yeah.

55
00:02:28,000 --> 00:02:29,000
Yeah.

56
00:02:29,000 --> 00:02:34,000
So anyhow, Dear Poo are suggesting it's simple.

57
00:02:34,000 --> 00:02:37,000
Make blue work for you.

58
00:02:37,000 --> 00:02:41,000
The same mailman that won't deliver your mail can deliver the said dog shit to your

59
00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:48,000
bastard neighbor every day in neat little cute boxes.

60
00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:51,000
Perhaps after a solid month of said shitboxing,

61
00:02:51,000 --> 00:02:55,000
the neighbor will find another place to let his huge mammal relieve itself.

62
00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:59,000
That's right, kiddos, making America solid one dump at a time.

63
00:02:59,000 --> 00:03:01,000
You're welcome.

64
00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:06,000
And as a retired letter carrier for the United States Postal Service,

65
00:03:06,000 --> 00:03:10,000
I can assure you that mailing dog shit to somebody is...

66
00:03:10,000 --> 00:03:11,000
Is illegal.

67
00:03:11,000 --> 00:03:12,000
No, it's perfectly legal.

68
00:03:12,000 --> 00:03:13,000
Is it really?

69
00:03:13,000 --> 00:03:14,000
It's absolutely 100%.

70
00:03:14,000 --> 00:03:18,000
Well, there you go.

71
00:03:18,000 --> 00:03:21,000
As long as you're not making a threat.

72
00:03:21,000 --> 00:03:26,000
I mean, it's not a biohazard because, yeah, it's part of everyday life.

73
00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:31,000
I remember a woman bringing out an envelope and showed me that somebody had been mailing

74
00:03:31,000 --> 00:03:33,000
her dead mice.

75
00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:34,000
Oh.

76
00:03:34,000 --> 00:03:36,000
She says, I don't know who's mailing me these dead mice,

77
00:03:36,000 --> 00:03:39,000
but I don't want them anymore.

78
00:03:39,000 --> 00:03:46,000
What kind of bizarre fucking crazy maniac would mail someone dead fucking mice?

79
00:03:46,000 --> 00:03:47,000
I don't know.

80
00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:49,000
Does she have like an ex-husband or something?

81
00:03:49,000 --> 00:03:51,000
Little old lady, I have no idea.

82
00:03:51,000 --> 00:03:55,000
I guess the neighbors didn't like her.

83
00:03:55,000 --> 00:04:04,000
Have you ever in your whole lifespan ever been prompted to think about mailing someone

84
00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:07,000
dead mice?

85
00:04:07,000 --> 00:04:15,000
I remember one lady in the trailer park that I delivered to.

86
00:04:15,000 --> 00:04:19,000
She got correspondence from her husband who was in jail.

87
00:04:19,000 --> 00:04:22,000
The envelopes are specially marked.

88
00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:25,000
You can tell it's inmate mail, it's stamped, all this kind of stuff.

89
00:04:25,000 --> 00:04:28,000
Okay.

90
00:04:28,000 --> 00:04:40,000
So she would get letters from him, and she would occasionally send letters back.

91
00:04:40,000 --> 00:04:45,000
But every now and then on a Saturday morning I'd be delivering,

92
00:04:45,000 --> 00:04:51,000
and there'd be a strange car in her driveway.

93
00:04:51,000 --> 00:04:54,000
Somebody else's car.

94
00:04:54,000 --> 00:05:04,000
And the following Monday she would be mailing out a much thicker envelope.

95
00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:06,000
Okay.

96
00:05:06,000 --> 00:05:13,000
To her husband in jail.

97
00:05:13,000 --> 00:05:16,000
And this routine would go on and on.

98
00:05:16,000 --> 00:05:26,000
And one time she sent, she put the envelope out, but she hadn't sealed it.

99
00:05:26,000 --> 00:05:31,000
So I took it back up to her door and knocked on it, on the door,

100
00:05:31,000 --> 00:05:33,000
and said, you know, you need to seal this envelope.

101
00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:36,000
You know, I can't seal it for you.

102
00:05:36,000 --> 00:05:38,000
I'm not supposed to, et cetera.

103
00:05:38,000 --> 00:05:43,000
But I had seen what was in it, and it was a pair of her panties.

104
00:05:43,000 --> 00:05:50,000
And there was a dude in there sitting at the table with his shirt off.

105
00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:58,000
And a neighbor filled in the extra pieces for me, and he said,

106
00:05:58,000 --> 00:06:04,000
what's going on is every now and then she'll go out to a bar on a Friday night

107
00:06:04,000 --> 00:06:10,000
and pick up a dude, bring him home, and bang his brains out.

108
00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:19,000
And when he's done, she puts a pair of panties on and rubs it all in her cream pie.

109
00:06:19,000 --> 00:06:23,000
And then the following Monday she mails them to her husband in prison.

110
00:06:23,000 --> 00:06:25,000
Oh, okay.

111
00:06:25,000 --> 00:06:27,000
So the husband was into that.

112
00:06:27,000 --> 00:06:28,000
Yes.

113
00:06:28,000 --> 00:06:31,000
He's like, go bang these guys while I'm here in prison.

114
00:06:31,000 --> 00:06:33,000
And then rub your panties all on it.

115
00:06:33,000 --> 00:06:35,000
And then send me your panties.

116
00:06:35,000 --> 00:06:40,000
And then after he was done with them, he could sell them to other inmates or whatever.

117
00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:42,000
Wow.

118
00:06:42,000 --> 00:06:43,000
Yeah.

119
00:06:43,000 --> 00:06:44,000
Wow.

120
00:06:44,000 --> 00:06:46,000
I was trying to figure out where that was going.

121
00:06:46,000 --> 00:06:48,000
It was kind of weird, wasn't it?

122
00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:49,000
Yeah.

123
00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:50,000
Wow.

124
00:06:50,000 --> 00:06:55,000
The worst part was I had to keep picking up these envelopes every Monday

125
00:06:55,000 --> 00:06:58,000
for a fucking jizz-filled panty.

126
00:06:58,000 --> 00:07:01,000
Now that I knew what they were, I was like, oh my God.

127
00:07:01,000 --> 00:07:07,000
I would bring a little sandwich baggie and pick it up with them.

128
00:07:07,000 --> 00:07:08,000
Oh, God.

129
00:07:08,000 --> 00:07:09,000
Yeah.

130
00:07:09,000 --> 00:07:10,000
Oh.

131
00:07:10,000 --> 00:07:12,000
Wow.

132
00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:17,000
It's how nasty things happen when you're a mailman.

133
00:07:17,000 --> 00:07:21,000
You get exposed to some really awful things.

134
00:07:21,000 --> 00:07:24,000
I would have a hard time looking her in the face after that.

135
00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:25,000
Yeah.

136
00:07:25,000 --> 00:07:27,000
Morning, Ms. Williams.

137
00:07:27,000 --> 00:07:29,000
Nice.

138
00:07:29,000 --> 00:07:31,000
Busy weekend.

139
00:07:31,000 --> 00:07:38,000
But on your dog shit story there, I actually had a house on a route I delivered

140
00:07:38,000 --> 00:07:41,000
where the woman came and went by car.

141
00:07:41,000 --> 00:07:45,000
And she always pulled into her garage and went in and out of her house that way.

142
00:07:45,000 --> 00:07:47,000
So she never went in and out her front door.

143
00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:51,000
She would open her front door and reach her arm out to her mailbox and get her mail.

144
00:07:51,000 --> 00:07:55,000
Or she'd open her front door and let her little dog out,

145
00:07:55,000 --> 00:08:01,000
and she would be in shit all over the front porch, which she would never clean off.

146
00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:07,000
So I'd have to get up and walk up there and dodge around all this crap to leave her mail.

147
00:08:07,000 --> 00:08:11,000
So one time she got a nice large package.

148
00:08:11,000 --> 00:08:16,000
So I walked it up to her front door and I put it down on her front porch

149
00:08:16,000 --> 00:08:21,000
and I mashed it down nice and firmly into a few of those dog piles.

150
00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:23,000
I mean, I didn't go out of my way.

151
00:08:23,000 --> 00:08:27,000
I put it right down under her mailbox, but her little dog had crapped three times under it.

152
00:08:27,000 --> 00:08:32,000
And I mashed that package down into it nice and firmly.

153
00:08:32,000 --> 00:08:33,000
Good.

154
00:08:33,000 --> 00:08:36,000
So she had to take that shit in the house with her when she picked it up.

155
00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:38,000
That's great.

156
00:08:38,000 --> 00:08:41,000
The next day, wow, her whole front porch was cleaned off.

157
00:08:41,000 --> 00:08:44,000
Imagine that.

158
00:08:44,000 --> 00:08:47,000
Got the idea across, didn't it?

159
00:08:47,000 --> 00:08:49,000
I enjoyed that so much.

160
00:08:49,000 --> 00:08:51,000
That's great.

161
00:08:51,000 --> 00:08:53,000
And what was she going to complain about?

162
00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:55,000
I just delivered her package.

163
00:08:55,000 --> 00:08:57,000
I sent it down.

164
00:08:57,000 --> 00:08:59,000
The only place she could.

165
00:08:59,000 --> 00:09:01,000
I don't know.

166
00:09:01,000 --> 00:09:03,000
That's fucking awesome.

167
00:09:03,000 --> 00:09:05,000
That was fun.

168
00:09:05,000 --> 00:09:07,000
Now that would have been fun.

169
00:09:07,000 --> 00:09:13,000
That was a rather upscale, one of the more upscale neighborhoods in Wyandotte County.

170
00:09:13,000 --> 00:09:18,000
This would have been probably around 2000, 2005, something like that.

171
00:09:18,000 --> 00:09:24,000
At the time, those houses would have been roughly $300,000 to $500,000 houses.

172
00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:30,000
So these were big, expensive houses.

173
00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:34,000
So consequently, the people who lived in them treated me like total dirt.

174
00:09:34,000 --> 00:09:37,000
Because they had money and they thought they were better than me.

175
00:09:37,000 --> 00:09:44,000
So the poorer the neighborhood, the better I was treated by the people who were there.

176
00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:47,000
The richer the neighborhood, the more they treated me like property.

177
00:09:47,000 --> 00:09:52,000
Completely believe that, unfortunately.

178
00:09:52,000 --> 00:09:55,000
Anyway, such is life.

179
00:09:55,000 --> 00:09:59,000
Christopher, have you heard about atmospheric rivers?

180
00:09:59,000 --> 00:10:08,000
Oh yeah, I've heard that term in connection with this recent weather we've been having in the western part of the U.S. and some other areas.

181
00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:14,000
Well, the term has been around a long time, but it's just now getting popular because it's happening a lot.

182
00:10:14,000 --> 00:10:18,000
It's fairly rare from what I understand.

183
00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:24,000
Yeah, I mean I've never heard of El Nino or La Nina until...

184
00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:26,000
About 15 years ago.

185
00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:29,000
Yeah, this is to blame for our weather.

186
00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:31,000
Yeah, crazy weather.

187
00:10:31,000 --> 00:10:34,000
I've never heard about this shit before.

188
00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:37,000
Well, this is kind of this atmospheric river thing too.

189
00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:41,000
It may have been on the book somewhere, but nobody ever talked about it.

190
00:10:41,000 --> 00:10:50,000
So, an atmospheric river, they'll form from a long channel when it transports water vapor from the tropics.

191
00:10:50,000 --> 00:10:54,000
And they produce heavy rain or snow when they make landfall.

192
00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:57,000
So in other words, it is in the atmosphere and it is a river.

193
00:10:57,000 --> 00:11:03,000
So it's like the way a river carries a large amount of water from one place to another.

194
00:11:03,000 --> 00:11:08,000
It's a moisture soaked atmosphere.

195
00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:10,000
Yeah.

196
00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:12,000
Okay, that makes sense.

197
00:11:12,000 --> 00:11:13,000
Yeah.

198
00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:14,000
Okay.

199
00:11:14,000 --> 00:11:20,000
Well, California is racing for another atmospheric river expected to make landfall as soon as Monday night.

200
00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:23,000
This is a week ago, so last Monday.

201
00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:29,000
As the state has been inundated with the intense rainfall since Friday, well actually a lot more since Friday.

202
00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:32,000
I mean this has been going on for a couple of months now.

203
00:11:32,000 --> 00:11:34,000
Quite spread flooding and mudslides.

204
00:11:34,000 --> 00:11:39,000
That is forecast to bring more rain and snow and more flooding through Wednesday.

205
00:11:39,000 --> 00:11:46,000
California Governor Gavin Newsom, also known as Stupid Fuck, has proclaimed the state of emergency in 21 counties.

206
00:11:46,000 --> 00:11:52,000
And President Biden, also known as Stupid Fuck, has also approved his request for federal assistance.

207
00:11:52,000 --> 00:11:56,000
Officials said at least two people died in the recent severe weather in the state.

208
00:11:56,000 --> 00:12:05,000
A spokesperson for California Governor Office of Emergency Services said Sunday that the agency hasn't received any notification of fatalities.

209
00:12:05,000 --> 00:12:10,000
Which is wrong because there has been. I mean this is over a couple of days.

210
00:12:10,000 --> 00:12:17,000
So anyhow, the rain from the atmospheric river that made landfall Thursday flooded roads and rivers.

211
00:12:17,000 --> 00:12:20,000
Thousands of residents were under evacuation orders.

212
00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:28,000
A river levee in central California breached just before midnight Friday, forcing hundreds of evacuations and dozens of rescuers.

213
00:12:28,000 --> 00:12:35,000
As a small town in Monterey County found itself completely underwater.

214
00:12:35,000 --> 00:12:36,000
Oh my gosh. Yeah.

215
00:12:36,000 --> 00:12:42,000
There are about 17,000 people displaced from their homes in Pejaro.

216
00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:46,000
And the town is inundated with water throughout Monterey County.

217
00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:51,000
I did see a video of that town.

218
00:12:51,000 --> 00:13:00,000
And yeah, they showed people just, you know, walking up the street carrying possessions when the water was slowly creeping up behind them.

219
00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:05,000
Isn't that something? Yeah. Oh gosh. Yeah.

220
00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:08,000
It was a levee.

221
00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:13,000
Or like a river channel that had given way.

222
00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:21,000
And, you know, all the water that's supposed to be flowing by and draining off just dumping out there in this nice broad flat area.

223
00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:29,000
Wow. Yeah. Hey, Rick. Rick. Rick.

224
00:13:29,000 --> 00:13:34,000
That is him. Yeah, that's him. He's ignoring us.

225
00:13:34,000 --> 00:13:40,000
They got some bad product ideas. Oh, those are always fun. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

226
00:13:40,000 --> 00:13:43,000
These are no different. Very fun.

227
00:13:43,000 --> 00:13:46,000
I don't know how practical they are, but they're fun.

228
00:13:46,000 --> 00:13:52,000
Well, this is bad product ideas. Like always, you know, we somehow intercepted the memo.

229
00:13:52,000 --> 00:13:59,000
Didn't work out. So we have some, you know, some of our members of our crack staff are occasionally on these test panels.

230
00:13:59,000 --> 00:14:04,000
The cocaine crack didn't work out and we're not even going to go into it at this point.

231
00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:07,000
No sense of bringing up bad feelings.

232
00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:12,000
But occasionally they serve on these, you know, test panels or focus groups for some of these products.

233
00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:17,000
They break their confidentiality agreement to tell us about them.

234
00:14:17,000 --> 00:14:20,000
And they throw us a little piece here and there about what's going on. Yeah.

235
00:14:20,000 --> 00:14:24,000
And we pass it on to you. Yes, we do. You're welcome. Because we're good.

236
00:14:24,000 --> 00:14:27,000
You're welcome, America.

237
00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:34,000
And if you ever missed any of the bad product ideas in the past, you are to, after this show, go download all of them, listen to all of them.

238
00:14:34,000 --> 00:14:40,000
And if not, you're a bad person. And quite frankly, you're a user and a taker.

239
00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:42,000
Harsh. Yes.

240
00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:51,000
So, yeah, without any further ado, the number one, stainless steel infant pacifiers.

241
00:14:51,000 --> 00:14:54,000
I guess it didn't go over too well. You know, they don't have teeth.

242
00:14:54,000 --> 00:15:01,000
So I used to worry about hurting their teeth. But then supposedly stainless steel has a deodorizing effect. Yeah.

243
00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:08,000
Yeah. Yeah. So, wow. Yeah. I don't get why it didn't go over so well. Yeah.

244
00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:14,000
Now, they could also the baby could look at itself in the stainless steel. True. And identify itself.

245
00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:17,000
I mean, it'd be a learning a learning behavior deal.

246
00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:23,000
Could hold the stainless steel pacifier up in front of itself and says and say there is no spoon.

247
00:15:23,000 --> 00:15:27,000
There is no spoon. Yes.

248
00:15:27,000 --> 00:15:32,000
I would go for a cast iron pacifier. I think that would be the best. Yeah.

249
00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:37,000
Babies absorbing some, you know, much needed iron for their, you know, vitamins and minerals.

250
00:15:37,000 --> 00:15:42,000
Yeah. You can always heat it up and cook eggs in it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. If the baby's old enough, you know.

251
00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:46,000
And if they lose their pacifier, you hear it go clank onto the ground. Yeah, that's true.

252
00:15:46,000 --> 00:15:52,000
So shit, man. Junior just lost his pacifier. I know it broke my fucking toe.

253
00:15:52,000 --> 00:16:00,000
Oh, yeah. With cast iron pacifiers, who would want stainless steel?

254
00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:05,000
No, you know what? And just like that, we solve an age old problem.

255
00:16:05,000 --> 00:16:11,000
Just a little critical thinking and just a little know how and want to. Yeah. And voila, we got it.

256
00:16:11,000 --> 00:16:17,000
We're so cool. Yes, we are. I am hurting my shoulder patting ourselves on the back.

257
00:16:17,000 --> 00:16:25,000
Ow, ow, ow. We're we're like the Aaron Rodgers podcasting.

258
00:16:25,000 --> 00:16:33,000
OK, right after right after our list of bad product ideas, we've got to go into the Aaron Rodgers.

259
00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:37,000
I'm hyperventilating thinking about Aaron Rodgers.

260
00:16:37,000 --> 00:16:44,000
I mean, it's been done in cheek not getting to him by now. Oh, my gosh. OK. OK.

261
00:16:44,000 --> 00:16:51,000
Number two, very concentrate, just mix with water.

262
00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:55,000
I like that. Yeah. Well, it didn't go over very well.

263
00:16:55,000 --> 00:16:59,000
Now imagine be like, hey, what are you doing? Hang on. I'm getting my beer pouch.

264
00:16:59,000 --> 00:17:03,000
You turn it open like one of those little things of.

265
00:17:03,000 --> 00:17:06,000
Oh, sure. You're really. Yeah.

266
00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:09,000
Cool later. Turn it open.

267
00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:15,000
Now, there was somebody who invented instant alcohol.

268
00:17:15,000 --> 00:17:20,000
Just add water. And that was declared illegal.

269
00:17:20,000 --> 00:17:28,000
Yeah, because it was the guys put gas because it was too dangerous because we used to poison people or date rape drug or that kind of stuff.

270
00:17:28,000 --> 00:17:32,000
So the technology is there for instant beer.

271
00:17:32,000 --> 00:17:35,000
And then they had the alcoholic. And this wasn't that long ago.

272
00:17:35,000 --> 00:17:40,000
This may be 10 years ago at the most. It was whipping cream.

273
00:17:40,000 --> 00:17:45,000
Yes. Yeah. With alcohol infused. Yes.

274
00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:49,000
Yeah, I remember that. Yeah.

275
00:17:49,000 --> 00:17:56,000
And they still occasionally put nitrous in their cans of whipping cream. Yep.

276
00:17:56,000 --> 00:17:58,000
But yeah, yeah, that was a big thing there, too.

277
00:17:58,000 --> 00:18:01,000
And then they took that away promptly, too.

278
00:18:01,000 --> 00:18:10,000
So number three, wool socks that retain moisture.

279
00:18:10,000 --> 00:18:12,000
Yeah. How about that?

280
00:18:12,000 --> 00:18:16,000
Man, wet, wet wool. That is not a good thing.

281
00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:18,000
Yeah, that's no fun at all. Yeah.

282
00:18:18,000 --> 00:18:23,000
That didn't go very well.

283
00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:26,000
Number four. This one kind of got me.

284
00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:29,000
I can't believe it didn't work out. Yeah.

285
00:18:29,000 --> 00:18:32,000
Toilet seat frosters.

286
00:18:32,000 --> 00:18:33,000
Wow. Yeah.

287
00:18:33,000 --> 00:18:36,000
You can frost up your toilet seat before sitting on it.

288
00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:38,000
Make it extra cold. Yeah.

289
00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:42,000
And then that frost melts and you're all slick and wet and slidey.

290
00:18:42,000 --> 00:18:46,000
Oh man, don't you hate it when you have to get out of the shower to take it dump?

291
00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:48,000
Yeah. Oh, that's the worst.

292
00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:50,000
It ruins your euphoria. Yeah.

293
00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:52,000
I mean, you're all sliding around on the toilet seat.

294
00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:56,000
Yeah. And you're soaking wet and you're trying to wipe.

295
00:18:56,000 --> 00:19:01,000
Oh, guys. Now, a frost would be cool because you jump on it, it's nice and cold.

296
00:19:01,000 --> 00:19:05,000
Yeah. And just as long as your ass didn't like refreeze on it.

297
00:19:05,000 --> 00:19:08,000
Oh yeah. That'd be a danger there.

298
00:19:08,000 --> 00:19:11,000
Let's say you're in the shower and you've got to take a dump really bad and you jump on there.

299
00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:13,000
Maybe that's how come it failed.

300
00:19:13,000 --> 00:19:21,000
But you know, this could be a great product for like pranking people with or putting in public toilets or...

301
00:19:21,000 --> 00:19:24,000
Yeah. I'll be right back. I can take a dump.

302
00:19:24,000 --> 00:19:29,000
Oh, I left three layers of skin on the toilet seat.

303
00:19:29,000 --> 00:19:33,000
Oh my God.

304
00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:36,000
And then you could like even turn it up a little bit and give someone like some frost nip.

305
00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:38,000
Maybe not bite, but a little frost nip.

306
00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:43,000
Yes, yes.

307
00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:46,000
Number six. No, number five.

308
00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:54,000
Speedos for Unix.

309
00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:56,000
That did not go over well.

310
00:19:56,000 --> 00:19:58,000
Yeah. I couldn't believe it.

311
00:19:58,000 --> 00:20:04,000
Imagine wearing a Speedo and it's loose.

312
00:20:04,000 --> 00:20:06,000
That's just kind of horrifying.

313
00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:09,000
Is there something you want to talk... No.

314
00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:11,000
Are you sure you don't... No.

315
00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:14,000
Everything OK? Yes.

316
00:20:14,000 --> 00:20:16,000
OK. Forget it.

317
00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:19,000
What was it? There was a movie, The Last Emperor.

318
00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:24,000
It was about the actual last emperor of China. His name was Puyi.

319
00:20:24,000 --> 00:20:27,000
Puyi. Puyi.

320
00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:36,000
There was a scene when all of the court Unix were being sent out of the Forbidden City

321
00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:41,000
because the rest of China had turned into a communist state.

322
00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:45,000
And they were tired of supporting the emperor in his big entourage.

323
00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:51,000
So the court Unix were all being sent away and every one of them came out holding a jar.

324
00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:57,000
And the kids like, you know, the child emperor, he's like, you know, what's in the jar?

325
00:20:57,000 --> 00:21:02,000
And he said, that's their manhood. No one can deny their right to be buried whole.

326
00:21:02,000 --> 00:21:08,000
So they were turned into Unix so they could serve in the court and no one had to worry about them sleeping with...

327
00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:09,000
But they got to keep their balls.

328
00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:12,000
Sleeping with the royal women's or whatever.

329
00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:15,000
But their balls were preserved in a jar.

330
00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:19,000
So when they were buried, they could be buried with their balls.

331
00:21:19,000 --> 00:21:25,000
So as they were leaving the palace, they carried their little jar of their own testicles with them.

332
00:21:25,000 --> 00:21:27,000
Horrifying.

333
00:21:27,000 --> 00:21:29,000
But you know, they could have used the speedo for Unix.

334
00:21:29,000 --> 00:21:31,000
Yeah, that's true. Yeah.

335
00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:36,000
Yeah, they could just like put them in there and just walked around like everything was fine.

336
00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:40,000
They'll come like nudicles or whatever.

337
00:21:40,000 --> 00:21:49,000
National Lampoon had an article back in the 70s about it was making fun of the concept of penis envy,

338
00:21:49,000 --> 00:21:53,000
of how women supposedly are jealous of a man having a penis.

339
00:21:53,000 --> 00:21:54,000
Oh, yeah, yeah.

340
00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:56,000
Which is the most ridiculous bullshit ever.

341
00:21:56,000 --> 00:22:07,000
But they satirized it by talking about giving women fake testicles so they could have that well-hung feeling.

342
00:22:07,000 --> 00:22:11,000
And they promptly said no thank you and gave it back, didn't they?

343
00:22:11,000 --> 00:22:17,000
Well, the whole article was showing it as if it was this wonderful breakthrough in cosmetic surgery.

344
00:22:17,000 --> 00:22:20,000
Women were no longer going to get boob jobs.

345
00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:24,000
They were going to get testicle implants.

346
00:22:24,000 --> 00:22:30,000
And they were showing all the different scrotums you could get and you could choose testicle size

347
00:22:30,000 --> 00:22:35,000
and you could even choose whether they were uneven like real men's testicles were.

348
00:22:35,000 --> 00:22:40,000
It was hilariously satirical of the whole thing.

349
00:22:40,000 --> 00:22:46,000
And I remember there's a picture of this really attractive blonde model and she was wearing a bikini

350
00:22:46,000 --> 00:22:50,000
and there were these two big hairy balls stuffed into her bikini.

351
00:22:50,000 --> 00:22:57,000
She had this big grin on her face like, wow, I'm so happy.

352
00:22:57,000 --> 00:23:01,000
Look at this, I got my balls.

353
00:23:01,000 --> 00:23:04,000
National Lampoon had their moments, didn't they?

354
00:23:04,000 --> 00:23:05,000
Yes.

355
00:23:05,000 --> 00:23:08,000
You know, most people think they just had movies, but they were a magazine.

356
00:23:08,000 --> 00:23:10,000
No, they were a magazine.

357
00:23:10,000 --> 00:23:12,000
Yeah, a magazine is way better than it is.

358
00:23:12,000 --> 00:23:14,000
They did Cracked Magazine.

359
00:23:14,000 --> 00:23:16,000
Oh, that was part of National Lampoon?

360
00:23:16,000 --> 00:23:19,000
It wasn't the National Lampoon Magazine, right?

361
00:23:19,000 --> 00:23:22,000
Then there's National Lampoon Presents, Cracked.

362
00:23:22,000 --> 00:23:23,000
Oh, OK.

363
00:23:23,000 --> 00:23:24,000
Look it up.

364
00:23:24,000 --> 00:23:26,000
And it had the guy kind of like Alfred E. Newman.

365
00:23:26,000 --> 00:23:29,000
Yeah, it was kind of a competitor for Mad Magazine.

366
00:23:29,000 --> 00:23:30,000
It was kind of a spoof of Mad.

367
00:23:30,000 --> 00:23:31,000
Yeah.

368
00:23:31,000 --> 00:23:34,000
And they had the guy that looked like Alfred E. Newman a little bit.

369
00:23:34,000 --> 00:23:35,000
Yeah, the Cracked Kid.

370
00:23:35,000 --> 00:23:36,000
Yeah, the Cracked Kid.

371
00:23:36,000 --> 00:23:37,000
And it was good.

372
00:23:37,000 --> 00:23:44,000
I mean, they didn't have some of the famous artists that Mad did, you know, like the one guy, Martin,

373
00:23:44,000 --> 00:23:47,000
that had the guy with the hands and feet that flopped over.

374
00:23:47,000 --> 00:23:50,000
Yeah, that was Dick Martin.

375
00:23:50,000 --> 00:23:51,000
And the Spy vs. Spy Guy.

376
00:23:51,000 --> 00:23:52,000
Dick Martin, I think.

377
00:23:52,000 --> 00:23:54,000
And then Spy vs. Spy Guy and all that.

378
00:23:54,000 --> 00:23:58,000
But they had their own style of writing, too, that was very good.

379
00:23:58,000 --> 00:24:02,000
So, I enjoyed Cracked and also National Lampoon's magazine.

380
00:24:02,000 --> 00:24:07,000
They also had an X magazine, Triple X magazine, too.

381
00:24:07,000 --> 00:24:08,000
Oh, I didn't know that.

382
00:24:08,000 --> 00:24:11,000
Yeah, was it like, it was kind of like Beaver Hunt?

383
00:24:11,000 --> 00:24:13,000
But it wasn't.

384
00:24:13,000 --> 00:24:15,000
I'll have to look it up later.

385
00:24:15,000 --> 00:24:16,000
Hang on.

386
00:24:16,000 --> 00:24:20,000
But yeah, they had their own form of Triple X magazine.

387
00:24:20,000 --> 00:24:23,000
And it was like Beaver Hunt or what it was.

388
00:24:23,000 --> 00:24:28,000
Was that Hustler that did the homemade version, like the girl next door?

389
00:24:28,000 --> 00:24:29,000
Yeah.

390
00:24:29,000 --> 00:24:31,000
They call it like Beaver Hunt or something.

391
00:24:31,000 --> 00:24:32,000
Or Swag.

392
00:24:32,000 --> 00:24:35,000
You know, National Lampoon had a magazine like it.

393
00:24:35,000 --> 00:24:37,000
It was Outlaw Biker.

394
00:24:37,000 --> 00:24:38,000
Oh, okay.

395
00:24:38,000 --> 00:24:39,000
Outlaw Biker.

396
00:24:39,000 --> 00:24:40,000
National Lampoon's Outlaw Biker.

397
00:24:40,000 --> 00:24:41,000
That's right.

398
00:24:41,000 --> 00:24:44,000
And in the section of that, they had like their own Beaver Hunt.

399
00:24:44,000 --> 00:24:49,000
I remember looking in there and there's a biker chick with fucking gape and gash hanging on the floor.

400
00:24:49,000 --> 00:24:56,000
Yeah, in National Lampoon magazine itself, they would do frontal nudity.

401
00:24:56,000 --> 00:24:57,000
Yes.

402
00:24:57,000 --> 00:24:58,000
They would do topless.

403
00:24:58,000 --> 00:25:07,000
But so they already had an urge to do nudity.

404
00:25:07,000 --> 00:25:12,000
So Outlaw Biker gave them an outlet where they could show boobs all day long.

405
00:25:12,000 --> 00:25:13,000
Yeah.

406
00:25:13,000 --> 00:25:14,000
Yeah.

407
00:25:14,000 --> 00:25:17,000
I think they even fucking showed lungs on some of that stuff.

408
00:25:17,000 --> 00:25:18,000
Probably so.

409
00:25:18,000 --> 00:25:19,000
Yeah, they're kind of like Hustler on that aspect.

410
00:25:19,000 --> 00:25:21,000
I do believe that if I remember correctly.

411
00:25:21,000 --> 00:25:22,000
Yeah.

412
00:25:22,000 --> 00:25:24,000
Oh, anyhow, let's see.

413
00:25:24,000 --> 00:25:27,000
That was Speedos for Unix is that we got onto.

414
00:25:27,000 --> 00:25:28,000
Yeah.

415
00:25:28,000 --> 00:25:29,000
Yes.

416
00:25:29,000 --> 00:25:30,000
If anyone's keeping track still.

417
00:25:30,000 --> 00:25:33,000
I don't think, let's face it, they already hung up on us.

418
00:25:33,000 --> 00:25:34,000
They're already going.

419
00:25:34,000 --> 00:25:35,000
Yeah.

420
00:25:35,000 --> 00:25:38,000
Number six, thank you notes for the makers of Kale.

421
00:25:38,000 --> 00:25:42,000
Those will collect dust.

422
00:25:42,000 --> 00:25:45,000
That was a horrible product idea.

423
00:25:45,000 --> 00:25:46,000
Wow.

424
00:25:46,000 --> 00:25:55,000
Hey, I ran across an actual bad product idea.

425
00:25:55,000 --> 00:25:58,000
You're familiar with Adele, the singer.

426
00:25:58,000 --> 00:26:02,000
She put out an album called 30.

427
00:26:02,000 --> 00:26:06,000
And she pressed a lot of it on vinyl.

428
00:26:06,000 --> 00:26:08,000
Nobody bought the vinyl.

429
00:26:08,000 --> 00:26:10,000
It's all turning up in Goodwill.

430
00:26:10,000 --> 00:26:11,000
Really?

431
00:26:11,000 --> 00:26:13,000
And in the thrift stores.

432
00:26:13,000 --> 00:26:20,000
It's being dumped by the distributors because nobody wanted the vinyl versions of Adele.

433
00:26:20,000 --> 00:26:23,000
I don't think I want the vinyl versions of Adele either.

434
00:26:23,000 --> 00:26:25,000
I don't want any versions of Adele.

435
00:26:25,000 --> 00:26:26,000
No, me neither.

436
00:26:26,000 --> 00:26:27,000
Not my style, but whatever.

437
00:26:27,000 --> 00:26:29,000
Real miscalculation there.

438
00:26:29,000 --> 00:26:32,000
All the money they spend on those vinyl discs.

439
00:26:32,000 --> 00:26:33,000
Yeah.

440
00:26:33,000 --> 00:26:35,000
Someone got fired down at Sony.

441
00:26:35,000 --> 00:26:36,000
Wow.

442
00:26:36,000 --> 00:26:40,000
I'll be damned.

443
00:26:40,000 --> 00:26:47,000
Number seven, ice cube makers for bidets.

444
00:26:47,000 --> 00:26:49,000
Now who in the hell would not like that?

445
00:26:49,000 --> 00:26:54,000
You tell me, what kind of an evil bastard would not like an ice maker for a bidet?

446
00:26:54,000 --> 00:26:57,000
Yeah, make your wee-wee shrivel up and go inside.

447
00:26:57,000 --> 00:27:01,000
Can you imagine?

448
00:27:01,000 --> 00:27:04,000
My testicles might not come down until next year.

449
00:27:04,000 --> 00:27:07,000
I normally don't have to hold steady, but on this one I got to hold steady.

450
00:27:07,000 --> 00:27:14,000
Oh my God.

451
00:27:14,000 --> 00:27:16,000
Oh my God.

452
00:27:16,000 --> 00:27:17,000
Look at it.

453
00:27:17,000 --> 00:27:18,000
It looks like a little meat whistle.

454
00:27:18,000 --> 00:27:21,000
It's so cold.

455
00:27:21,000 --> 00:27:28,000
Somebody explain to me how something that looks like what a drinking fountain puts out,

456
00:27:28,000 --> 00:27:32,000
just some little stream of cold tap water.

457
00:27:32,000 --> 00:27:39,000
Now show me how that can clean a porta potty that's been parked outside the Renfest for three days.

458
00:27:39,000 --> 00:27:40,000
No.

459
00:27:40,000 --> 00:27:41,000
No.

460
00:27:41,000 --> 00:27:43,000
It's not going to clean anyone's ass.

461
00:27:43,000 --> 00:27:45,000
Sulfuric acid won't clean that.

462
00:27:45,000 --> 00:27:46,000
I'm sorry.

463
00:27:46,000 --> 00:27:53,000
Lyso-Clorox bleach and sulfuric acid all mixed together would not clean that.

464
00:27:53,000 --> 00:27:58,000
You know that oil and dirt residue that builds up on the bottom of your engine?

465
00:27:58,000 --> 00:28:06,000
Go under there with a little kid's toy squirt gun and show me how it cleans right off.

466
00:28:06,000 --> 00:28:08,000
It's not doing anything, Paul.

467
00:28:08,000 --> 00:28:09,000
That's right, because you're a stupid ass.

468
00:28:09,000 --> 00:28:10,000
Get out of here.

469
00:28:10,000 --> 00:28:17,000
I mean, Americans eat about five pounds of fat a day, and it creates an oil slick when it comes out their ass.

470
00:28:17,000 --> 00:28:19,000
And cold water ain't touching that.

471
00:28:19,000 --> 00:28:21,000
Yeah.

472
00:28:21,000 --> 00:28:27,000
If you eat like a rabbit and fart little rabbit pellets, then all you need to do is dust yourself with a feather duster.

473
00:28:27,000 --> 00:28:29,000
You go to Japan and they're like farting.

474
00:28:29,000 --> 00:28:36,000
They're like shitting like little round little balls that don't stick to anything.

475
00:28:36,000 --> 00:28:38,000
They look like cocoa puffs.

476
00:28:38,000 --> 00:28:39,000
Yeah.

477
00:28:39,000 --> 00:28:42,000
Rabbit shit or deer shit.

478
00:28:42,000 --> 00:28:43,000
Yeah, they only have to wipe.

479
00:28:43,000 --> 00:28:45,000
They just jump up and go, oh, I'm good.

480
00:28:45,000 --> 00:28:47,000
It's because they don't eat what we eat.

481
00:28:47,000 --> 00:28:52,000
No, we eat greasy, fatty.

482
00:28:52,000 --> 00:28:56,000
It takes your average American about an hour and a half to squeeze that turd out.

483
00:28:56,000 --> 00:28:59,000
It's not going to rinse off with a little sprinkle of cold water.

484
00:28:59,000 --> 00:29:01,000
No, no.

485
00:29:01,000 --> 00:29:04,000
Especially when you see that fucker laying against the bottom of the stool.

486
00:29:04,000 --> 00:29:05,000
Yeah.

487
00:29:05,000 --> 00:29:08,000
And it just starts like splatting and screeching out.

488
00:29:08,000 --> 00:29:11,000
It looks like the blob just took a hold of somebody.

489
00:29:11,000 --> 00:29:16,000
You flush the toilet and there's skid marks all over it, so you flush again, and there's still skid marks.

490
00:29:16,000 --> 00:29:21,000
And you flush again, and there's, yeah, you tell me that cold water is going to clean your ass.

491
00:29:21,000 --> 00:29:26,000
Yeah, you look out to make sure nobody's around so you can sneak out there without anyone knowing it was you that did that.

492
00:29:26,000 --> 00:29:29,000
If there's someone still out there, you just go, hey, I'm having some issues.

493
00:29:29,000 --> 00:29:34,000
You might want to come back later.

494
00:29:34,000 --> 00:29:35,000
So.

495
00:29:35,000 --> 00:29:38,000
Oh, you'll never get me to believe in bidets.

496
00:29:38,000 --> 00:29:39,000
No, me neither.

497
00:29:39,000 --> 00:29:41,000
Not unless you're a rabbit.

498
00:29:41,000 --> 00:29:42,000
Yes.

499
00:29:42,000 --> 00:29:44,000
Yeah, and then I don't think rabbits do either.

500
00:29:44,000 --> 00:29:45,000
No.

501
00:29:45,000 --> 00:29:46,000
Get out of here.

502
00:29:46,000 --> 00:29:49,000
Number eight, squeaky toys for alligators.

503
00:29:49,000 --> 00:29:52,000
Did not go over well.

504
00:29:52,000 --> 00:29:54,000
Hey, that's a good warning.

505
00:29:54,000 --> 00:29:57,000
You hear that squeaky toy like, oh, the alligator's.

506
00:29:57,000 --> 00:29:58,000
Oh, shit.

507
00:29:58,000 --> 00:30:00,000
You know, we're near a lagoon.

508
00:30:00,000 --> 00:30:02,000
What I used to call people.

509
00:30:02,000 --> 00:30:03,000
Lagoon.

510
00:30:03,000 --> 00:30:05,000
Hey, hey, what's that?

511
00:30:05,000 --> 00:30:06,000
That's squeaky toy.

512
00:30:06,000 --> 00:30:07,000
Oh, shit.

513
00:30:07,000 --> 00:30:08,000
There must be an alligator.

514
00:30:08,000 --> 00:30:09,000
Let's get out of here.

515
00:30:09,000 --> 00:30:14,000
You call them gator people.

516
00:30:14,000 --> 00:30:17,000
Shit, there's a gator.

517
00:30:17,000 --> 00:30:24,000
My brother John and sister Jennifer spent a summer down in Florida with my grandparents.

518
00:30:24,000 --> 00:30:29,000
This would have been probably 74 or 75, somewhere around there.

519
00:30:29,000 --> 00:30:39,000
And they mailed back a picture of the neighbor's pool with a three foot alligator in it.

520
00:30:39,000 --> 00:30:42,000
And sometime during the night, the alligator just come and gotten into their swimming pool.

521
00:30:42,000 --> 00:30:44,000
Where was this at?

522
00:30:44,000 --> 00:30:47,000
This was Stewart, Florida.

523
00:30:47,000 --> 00:30:49,000
It's on the Atlantic coast.

524
00:30:49,000 --> 00:30:50,000
OK.

525
00:30:50,000 --> 00:30:54,000
So this alligator just decided to go, you know, hang out in their pool.

526
00:30:54,000 --> 00:30:57,000
They had to call people to come and it was down in the bottom of the deep end.

527
00:30:57,000 --> 00:31:00,000
So they had to go in there and get it.

528
00:31:00,000 --> 00:31:05,000
Of course, you're in the alligator's element when you're in the water with it.

529
00:31:05,000 --> 00:31:07,000
Those guys must get paid a lot.

530
00:31:07,000 --> 00:31:11,000
They're just alligator hanging out in your swimming pool.

531
00:31:11,000 --> 00:31:14,000
It's like they live here too.

532
00:31:14,000 --> 00:31:18,000
Actually, they were here before we were.

533
00:31:18,000 --> 00:31:21,000
You left a nice inviting place there.

534
00:31:21,000 --> 00:31:24,000
So yeah, I don't blame it.

535
00:31:24,000 --> 00:31:31,000
Well, number nine, healthy drink mixes for East Palestine, Ohio.

536
00:31:31,000 --> 00:31:34,000
Wow, they put me too soon for that.

537
00:31:34,000 --> 00:31:36,000
Oh, OK, too soon, too soon.

538
00:31:36,000 --> 00:31:37,000
Sorry.

539
00:31:37,000 --> 00:31:39,000
Sorry, guys.

540
00:31:39,000 --> 00:31:43,000
No harm, no foul, right?

541
00:31:43,000 --> 00:31:46,000
OK, moving right along.

542
00:31:46,000 --> 00:31:50,000
Fish flakes for lionfish.

543
00:31:50,000 --> 00:31:52,000
I like that one.

544
00:31:52,000 --> 00:31:54,000
What was that company, Tetra Min?

545
00:31:54,000 --> 00:31:57,000
They made all the fish food flakes for the tropical fish.

546
00:31:57,000 --> 00:32:00,000
As a matter of fact, I still use it for my goldfish in the Koi pond.

547
00:32:00,000 --> 00:32:01,000
Oh, yeah.

548
00:32:01,000 --> 00:32:02,000
Yeah, yeah.

549
00:32:02,000 --> 00:32:07,000
They actually, it's pretty good because the stuff that they, whatever, engineer, whatever,

550
00:32:07,000 --> 00:32:12,000
actually makes the goldfish turn a different color of orange, a different shade.

551
00:32:12,000 --> 00:32:13,000
Oh, thanks.

552
00:32:13,000 --> 00:32:14,000
Yeah.

553
00:32:14,000 --> 00:32:20,000
I know a high school friend of mine who was, he was out of weed and really hard up,

554
00:32:20,000 --> 00:32:24,000
and he tried smoking those Tetra Min fish food flakes.

555
00:32:24,000 --> 00:32:25,000
Did it work?

556
00:32:25,000 --> 00:32:27,000
He said it gave him a hell of a headache.

557
00:32:27,000 --> 00:32:30,000
Oh, I bet it did.

558
00:32:30,000 --> 00:32:31,000
OK.

559
00:32:31,000 --> 00:32:34,000
You gotta be desperate to smoke fish food.

560
00:32:34,000 --> 00:32:37,000
It just reminds me of Spicoli on Fast Times of Ridgemont High.

561
00:32:37,000 --> 00:32:42,000
He's talking to that guy on the phone, and he takes this fucking moccasin

562
00:32:42,000 --> 00:32:44,000
and starts smacking himself in the skull with it.

563
00:32:44,000 --> 00:32:46,000
He goes, dude, what that is?

564
00:32:46,000 --> 00:32:47,000
Oh, no, man.

565
00:32:47,000 --> 00:32:49,000
That's my skull, man.

566
00:32:49,000 --> 00:32:52,000
I'm baked.

567
00:32:52,000 --> 00:32:53,000
That was a fun movie.

568
00:32:53,000 --> 00:32:55,000
That was a great movie.

569
00:32:55,000 --> 00:33:01,000
And finally, number 11, passing yard championship plaque for Aaron Rodgers of the Jets.

570
00:33:01,000 --> 00:33:07,000
Aaron Rodgers, yes.

571
00:33:07,000 --> 00:33:13,000
Which goes into our Aaron Rodgers talk.

572
00:33:13,000 --> 00:33:16,000
Didn't Brett Favre go to the Jets?

573
00:33:16,000 --> 00:33:17,000
Yes.

574
00:33:17,000 --> 00:33:18,000
So Aaron Rodgers.

575
00:33:18,000 --> 00:33:22,000
And then he went to the Vikings after the famous dick pics started circulating

576
00:33:22,000 --> 00:33:25,000
that he was sending the trainer and would not leave her alone.

577
00:33:25,000 --> 00:33:28,000
So Aaron Rodgers comes up.

578
00:33:28,000 --> 00:33:29,000
So that's probably what Aaron will do next.

579
00:33:29,000 --> 00:33:36,000
Aaron Rodgers is obviously probably in a Hall of Fame style caliber quarterback.

580
00:33:36,000 --> 00:33:38,000
Brett Favre is still there.

581
00:33:38,000 --> 00:33:40,000
Brett Favre is a dick to Aaron Rodgers.

582
00:33:40,000 --> 00:33:42,000
Doesn't want him on the same field.

583
00:33:42,000 --> 00:33:44,000
This is my house, bitch.

584
00:33:44,000 --> 00:33:47,000
Well, they heads there, get together, and they're like, you know what, man,

585
00:33:47,000 --> 00:33:50,000
Aaron Rodgers has a lot more time left.

586
00:33:50,000 --> 00:33:56,000
We can get a couple of good draft picks for Brett Favre, so let's just go ahead and trade him.

587
00:33:56,000 --> 00:33:58,000
So they trade him to the Jets.

588
00:33:58,000 --> 00:34:01,000
They got a couple of decent draft picks.

589
00:34:01,000 --> 00:34:05,000
And Aaron Rodgers comes in and he's the next thing.

590
00:34:05,000 --> 00:34:06,000
Next big thing, yeah.

591
00:34:06,000 --> 00:34:07,000
Next big thing.

592
00:34:07,000 --> 00:34:08,000
And he's doing great.

593
00:34:08,000 --> 00:34:11,000
Won a Super Bowl with him and all these MVPs.

594
00:34:11,000 --> 00:34:14,000
One of the best quarterbacks ever.

595
00:34:14,000 --> 00:34:15,000
Yeah, yeah.

596
00:34:15,000 --> 00:34:20,000
He writes up good statistics and he wins a number of games.

597
00:34:20,000 --> 00:34:25,000
Hasn't won all that many Super Bowls.

598
00:34:25,000 --> 00:34:26,000
Won.

599
00:34:26,000 --> 00:34:27,000
Just won, yeah.

600
00:34:27,000 --> 00:34:32,000
And the other thing that's more disappointing is he's only been to one.

601
00:34:32,000 --> 00:34:34,000
That's true.

602
00:34:34,000 --> 00:34:38,000
Favre was in two, I believe, and won one.

603
00:34:38,000 --> 00:34:49,000
And he could have been to another Minnesota championship game where he could have ran it for a first down.

604
00:34:49,000 --> 00:34:50,000
Yeah.

605
00:34:50,000 --> 00:34:53,000
But he threw it.

606
00:34:53,000 --> 00:34:59,000
And got the interception.

607
00:34:59,000 --> 00:35:12,000
Anyhow, so I would say that to me that Aaron Rodgers and his list of demands to go to the Jets is way out of line.

608
00:35:12,000 --> 00:35:13,000
Way inappropriate.

609
00:35:13,000 --> 00:35:17,000
And quite frankly does not come off well.

610
00:35:17,000 --> 00:35:18,000
Yeah, yeah.

611
00:35:18,000 --> 00:35:27,000
There was a meme showing Aaron Rodgers saying, Green Bay won't give me the weapons I want.

612
00:35:27,000 --> 00:35:31,000
Then he goes to the Jets and says, give me all the weapons Green Bay gave me.

613
00:35:31,000 --> 00:35:32,000
Yeah.

614
00:35:32,000 --> 00:35:36,000
If you think about it over time it's true.

615
00:35:36,000 --> 00:35:40,000
The only thing that's different is they did not keep a lot of them like Randall Cobb.

616
00:35:40,000 --> 00:35:43,000
They tried to keep Devonte Adams like they believed, didn't they?

617
00:35:43,000 --> 00:35:45,000
Yeah.

618
00:35:45,000 --> 00:35:49,000
Well part of it you can trace back to Rodgers himself anyhow.

619
00:35:49,000 --> 00:35:56,000
He doesn't take the necessary restructuring or pay cuts, if you will, to do it.

620
00:35:56,000 --> 00:35:58,000
So they're always in a bind financially.

621
00:35:58,000 --> 00:35:59,000
Yeah.

622
00:35:59,000 --> 00:36:01,000
He doesn't realize everybody else wants to get paid too.

623
00:36:01,000 --> 00:36:02,000
Yeah.

624
00:36:02,000 --> 00:36:04,000
Well I'm sure he realizes he just doesn't care.

625
00:36:04,000 --> 00:36:05,000
He doesn't care.

626
00:36:05,000 --> 00:36:07,000
He doesn't think it should affect him at all.

627
00:36:07,000 --> 00:36:17,000
Yeah, we took Valdez Gantling away from the Packers who was kind of a possession receiver.

628
00:36:17,000 --> 00:36:19,000
He could stretch the field.

629
00:36:19,000 --> 00:36:21,000
And he's coming back next year I do believe.

630
00:36:21,000 --> 00:36:22,000
Yeah.

631
00:36:22,000 --> 00:36:27,000
And then yeah, Devonte Adams left.

632
00:36:27,000 --> 00:36:38,000
But this thing lately where Aaron has declared that he believes himself to be the best player ever in franchise history for the Packers.

633
00:36:38,000 --> 00:36:40,000
I don't know if that's true.

634
00:36:40,000 --> 00:36:41,000
I don't think so either.

635
00:36:41,000 --> 00:36:44,000
Bart Starr won two or three.

636
00:36:44,000 --> 00:36:47,000
He won five championships total.

637
00:36:47,000 --> 00:36:48,000
Oh, well.

638
00:36:48,000 --> 00:36:50,000
Because he had two Super Bowls.

639
00:36:50,000 --> 00:36:51,000
Yeah, that's right.

640
00:36:51,000 --> 00:36:52,000
Two Super Bowls.

641
00:36:52,000 --> 00:36:54,000
But five NFL championships.

642
00:36:54,000 --> 00:36:57,000
Because the AFL and the NFL hadn't merged yet.

643
00:36:57,000 --> 00:36:59,000
Yeah, because he played in the first one against Lenny Dawson.

644
00:36:59,000 --> 00:37:00,000
That's what happened.

645
00:37:00,000 --> 00:37:02,000
And the second one they beat the Raiders.

646
00:37:02,000 --> 00:37:03,000
Yes.

647
00:37:03,000 --> 00:37:08,000
So Bart Starr right off the bat five rings.

648
00:37:08,000 --> 00:37:10,000
Aaron Rodgers won.

649
00:37:10,000 --> 00:37:13,000
Yeah, so Bart Starr would be a better one.

650
00:37:13,000 --> 00:37:18,000
And then number two would be Brett Farr because he was in two Super Bowls.

651
00:37:18,000 --> 00:37:20,000
Let's see.

652
00:37:20,000 --> 00:37:22,000
Paul Horning running back.

653
00:37:22,000 --> 00:37:24,000
Yeah, another good one.

654
00:37:24,000 --> 00:37:27,000
Who was the defensive?

655
00:37:27,000 --> 00:37:28,000
Reggie White.

656
00:37:28,000 --> 00:37:31,000
Reggie White.

657
00:37:31,000 --> 00:37:32,000
Yeah.

658
00:37:32,000 --> 00:37:36,000
I mean, they've had a lot of good players over the years.

659
00:37:36,000 --> 00:37:37,000
Yeah.

660
00:37:37,000 --> 00:37:39,000
The Packers are a very old franchise.

661
00:37:39,000 --> 00:37:41,000
I mean, for Aaron Rodgers, a breeze in.

662
00:37:41,000 --> 00:37:43,000
Already Mahomes has lapped him.

663
00:37:43,000 --> 00:37:45,000
Three Super Bowls, two wins.

664
00:37:45,000 --> 00:37:46,000
Yeah.

665
00:37:46,000 --> 00:37:51,000
Five championship games ever since he has been starting in the league.

666
00:37:51,000 --> 00:37:52,000
Yeah.

667
00:37:52,000 --> 00:37:55,000
So already Mahomes has lapped him.

668
00:37:55,000 --> 00:37:56,000
Yeah.

669
00:37:56,000 --> 00:37:58,000
You know, I mean, how is Jordan Love?

670
00:37:58,000 --> 00:37:59,000
Does Jordan Love look good?

671
00:37:59,000 --> 00:38:01,000
He looked good last year on what he played.

672
00:38:01,000 --> 00:38:02,000
Yeah.

673
00:38:02,000 --> 00:38:06,000
Is he going to be a superstar like Aaron Rodgers?

674
00:38:06,000 --> 00:38:07,000
Hard to say.

675
00:38:07,000 --> 00:38:08,000
I don't think so.

676
00:38:08,000 --> 00:38:18,000
But I think as in terms of success, you're going to have about the same thing if you keep going to the playoffs and not winning.

677
00:38:18,000 --> 00:38:19,000
That's what you're doing now anyhow.

678
00:38:19,000 --> 00:38:20,000
Yeah.

679
00:38:20,000 --> 00:38:32,000
But if someone else had said, let's talk about whether Aaron Rodgers is the best player ever to wear a Packers uniform, that'd be one thing.

680
00:38:32,000 --> 00:38:42,000
But for Aaron himself to say, I am, and then he backpedaled slightly and said, well, at least I should be in the conversation.

681
00:38:42,000 --> 00:38:43,000
Yeah.

682
00:38:43,000 --> 00:38:44,000
It's just arrogance.

683
00:38:44,000 --> 00:38:47,000
I'm sure probably the look on the people's face when he said that.

684
00:38:47,000 --> 00:38:48,000
Yeah.

685
00:38:48,000 --> 00:38:51,000
Dude, his name is Ergon Rodgers now.

686
00:38:51,000 --> 00:38:52,000
It's not Aaron Rodgers.

687
00:38:52,000 --> 00:38:53,000
I think it should be.

688
00:38:53,000 --> 00:38:54,000
Yeah.

689
00:38:54,000 --> 00:39:04,000
God, he's vying with George Clooney for how smug and arrogant he is and how much he thinks his own shit doesn't stink.

690
00:39:04,000 --> 00:39:05,000
Yeah, I would agree.

691
00:39:05,000 --> 00:39:07,000
He's up there in Clooney territory.

692
00:39:07,000 --> 00:39:08,000
Yeah.

693
00:39:08,000 --> 00:39:10,000
That's hard to do too.

694
00:39:10,000 --> 00:39:12,000
And Bono.

695
00:39:12,000 --> 00:39:13,000
And Bono.

696
00:39:13,000 --> 00:39:14,000
Yeah.

697
00:39:14,000 --> 00:39:20,000
Bono is another one of those guys who's perfect, but everybody else is a piece of shit.

698
00:39:20,000 --> 00:39:21,000
Yeah.

699
00:39:21,000 --> 00:39:22,000
Yeah.

700
00:39:22,000 --> 00:39:24,000
Bono is simple with me.

701
00:39:24,000 --> 00:39:35,000
If Bono loves America so much, kind of like Roger Waters, and they're always criticizing it just like Roger Waters, go tamp your bank account out and pay off our national debt.

702
00:39:35,000 --> 00:39:39,000
You love America so much and more than us, then just go ahead and do that.

703
00:39:39,000 --> 00:39:40,000
Prove your love.

704
00:39:40,000 --> 00:39:41,000
Quit taking our money.

705
00:39:41,000 --> 00:39:42,000
Yeah.

706
00:39:42,000 --> 00:39:46,000
You start showing us love by fucking paying up our national debt then.

707
00:39:46,000 --> 00:39:49,000
And if not, then I don't want to hear you.

708
00:39:49,000 --> 00:39:50,000
Yeah.

709
00:39:50,000 --> 00:39:51,000
So.

710
00:39:51,000 --> 00:39:52,000
Yeah.

711
00:39:52,000 --> 00:39:59,000
A number of musicians have said about other musicians, just shut up and play your music.

712
00:39:59,000 --> 00:40:00,000
That's true.

713
00:40:00,000 --> 00:40:03,000
That's all I wanted from you is your music.

714
00:40:03,000 --> 00:40:09,000
I don't care for your opinions on modern art or classic cars or who I should vote for.

715
00:40:09,000 --> 00:40:10,000
It's not what I'm here for.

716
00:40:10,000 --> 00:40:11,000
Nope.

717
00:40:11,000 --> 00:40:12,000
Same here.

718
00:40:12,000 --> 00:40:15,000
I'm here to hear your music and that's it.

719
00:40:15,000 --> 00:40:19,000
These guys suck and so do you for listening.

720
00:40:19,000 --> 00:40:21,000
Just saying.

721
00:40:21,000 --> 00:40:22,000
Oh shit.

722
00:40:22,000 --> 00:40:24,000
What's that over there?

723
00:40:24,000 --> 00:40:25,000
Oh no.

724
00:40:25,000 --> 00:40:27,000
It's island of horrible jokes.

725
00:40:27,000 --> 00:40:28,000
Ugh.

726
00:40:28,000 --> 00:40:40,000
If I ever find that doctor that screwed up my limb replacement surgery, I will kill him

727
00:40:40,000 --> 00:40:44,000
with my bare hands.

728
00:40:44,000 --> 00:40:57,000
This, Angborn Ass Radio Kid, it's the next generation podcast.

729
00:40:57,000 --> 00:40:58,000
Two douche bags.

730
00:40:58,000 --> 00:40:59,000
And a microphone.

731
00:40:59,000 --> 00:41:00,000
Mark.

732
00:41:00,000 --> 00:41:01,000
Topher.

733
00:41:01,000 --> 00:41:02,000
All right.

734
00:41:02,000 --> 00:41:08,000
Topher, you were coming up with a couple of interesting little tidbits just a second

735
00:41:08,000 --> 00:41:10,000
ago off air.

736
00:41:10,000 --> 00:41:13,000
Whichever one you want to lead off with is fine with me.

737
00:41:13,000 --> 00:41:15,000
Both of them are ready.

738
00:41:15,000 --> 00:41:22,000
Well, I was just thinking about how it's going to be tax filing time fairly soon.

739
00:41:22,000 --> 00:41:29,000
I'm already seeing commercials for TurboTax software.

740
00:41:29,000 --> 00:41:34,000
Interesting how initially TurboTax was, hey, download our software and you can do your

741
00:41:34,000 --> 00:41:35,000
own taxes.

742
00:41:35,000 --> 00:41:40,000
Now they are, hey, download our software and let us do your taxes for you.

743
00:41:40,000 --> 00:41:47,000
They have become the very people that they were trying to put out of business in the

744
00:41:47,000 --> 00:41:48,000
beginning.

745
00:41:48,000 --> 00:41:49,000
Yeah.

746
00:41:49,000 --> 00:41:55,000
And then all of a sudden it became more profitable for them to do it the old fashioned way.

747
00:41:55,000 --> 00:41:56,000
Yeah.

748
00:41:56,000 --> 00:42:02,000
It occurs to me this time every year that tax time in the US sucks.

749
00:42:02,000 --> 00:42:09,000
And it sucks on purpose because it doesn't have to be this way.

750
00:42:09,000 --> 00:42:13,000
There are European countries where at the end of the year you get a statement from the

751
00:42:13,000 --> 00:42:18,000
government saying here's what has been done for your taxes, this is how much you were

752
00:42:18,000 --> 00:42:20,000
taxed for these reasons, blah, blah, blah.

753
00:42:20,000 --> 00:42:22,000
And then if you have a problem you dispute it.

754
00:42:22,000 --> 00:42:23,000
Yeah.

755
00:42:23,000 --> 00:42:24,000
But it's all done.

756
00:42:24,000 --> 00:42:26,000
And it's all written right out there in a statement for you.

757
00:42:26,000 --> 00:42:37,000
In the US, places like H&R Block and Jackson Hewitt and Turbo Tax, they pay lobbyists to

758
00:42:37,000 --> 00:42:44,000
convince our politicians to keep the tax code incomprehensible so we can't figure it out

759
00:42:44,000 --> 00:42:47,000
ourselves and we have to pay someone to do it for us.

760
00:42:47,000 --> 00:42:53,000
So the very people that we're paying to do our taxes are creating the situation where

761
00:42:53,000 --> 00:42:56,000
we have to pay to do our taxes.

762
00:42:56,000 --> 00:42:57,000
Lovely.

763
00:42:57,000 --> 00:42:58,000
Yeah.

764
00:42:58,000 --> 00:42:59,000
Isn't that fucked up?

765
00:42:59,000 --> 00:43:02,000
But then we run to H&R Block and say oh I love you because you got me this big refund.

766
00:43:02,000 --> 00:43:03,000
No they didn't.

767
00:43:03,000 --> 00:43:04,000
No they didn't.

768
00:43:04,000 --> 00:43:07,000
You overpaid all year.

769
00:43:07,000 --> 00:43:09,000
And you would have gotten that money back anyway.

770
00:43:09,000 --> 00:43:14,000
And in fact if it were done correctly you would have had that money all year long.

771
00:43:14,000 --> 00:43:15,000
Exactly.

772
00:43:15,000 --> 00:43:18,000
Instead of waiting for it into the year like some big bonus.

773
00:43:18,000 --> 00:43:20,000
Yeah it's not like you got interest on it.

774
00:43:20,000 --> 00:43:21,000
No.

775
00:43:21,000 --> 00:43:24,000
Did they get in a lawsuit though I thought?

776
00:43:24,000 --> 00:43:27,000
I could be wrong on this but I thought.

777
00:43:27,000 --> 00:43:28,000
I could be wrong.

778
00:43:28,000 --> 00:43:35,000
Not for sure but I thought they got in a lawsuit for being too cautious and not getting people

779
00:43:35,000 --> 00:43:36,000
enough money back.

780
00:43:36,000 --> 00:43:37,000
Yeah.

781
00:43:37,000 --> 00:43:38,000
Yeah.

782
00:43:38,000 --> 00:43:46,000
There's the only two times that I've done the tax returns myself through the software

783
00:43:46,000 --> 00:43:50,000
were the lowest refunds I ever got.

784
00:43:50,000 --> 00:43:55,000
And I went back to having an actual human being do it and my refunds went way up.

785
00:43:55,000 --> 00:44:00,000
And then they showed me how to adjust to where I'm not getting a huge refund into the year.

786
00:44:00,000 --> 00:44:03,000
Instead I'm getting more money every paycheck.

787
00:44:03,000 --> 00:44:04,000
And I was like I like that idea.

788
00:44:04,000 --> 00:44:05,000
Oh I like that better yeah.

789
00:44:05,000 --> 00:44:10,000
So I adjusted it and I got more money every paycheck and then end of the year I pretty

790
00:44:10,000 --> 00:44:12,000
much broke even and I was done with it.

791
00:44:12,000 --> 00:44:13,000
It was like cool.

792
00:44:13,000 --> 00:44:14,000
Yeah.

793
00:44:14,000 --> 00:44:18,000
You know that was fine with me.

794
00:44:18,000 --> 00:44:23,000
It shouldn't be as difficult as it is but it's none of those created situations.

795
00:44:23,000 --> 00:44:24,000
Yeah.

796
00:44:24,000 --> 00:44:25,000
Yeah.

797
00:44:25,000 --> 00:44:30,000
People with more money than us are making it this way because it makes money for them.

798
00:44:30,000 --> 00:44:32,000
Yeah that's fucked.

799
00:44:32,000 --> 00:44:40,000
And then I got on to instances where I mean don't you hate a line jumper?

800
00:44:40,000 --> 00:44:41,000
Yeah.

801
00:44:41,000 --> 00:44:42,000
Oh yeah.

802
00:44:42,000 --> 00:44:47,000
Someone who pushes their way in and says hey I'm friends with the owner I get that table.

803
00:44:47,000 --> 00:44:48,000
Or something.

804
00:44:48,000 --> 00:44:57,000
But openly in advertisements businesses and companies will tell you pay extra and you

805
00:44:57,000 --> 00:44:58,000
can line jump.

806
00:44:58,000 --> 00:44:59,000
Yeah.

807
00:44:59,000 --> 00:45:04,000
Let's see you can do that with like the TSA at the airport.

808
00:45:04,000 --> 00:45:05,000
Preselect.

809
00:45:05,000 --> 00:45:11,000
Yeah if you pay extra you can skip some of the security line and some of the security

810
00:45:11,000 --> 00:45:12,000
precautions.

811
00:45:12,000 --> 00:45:19,000
Well I used to do it because of my old job but I was on TSA preselect and here's why.

812
00:45:19,000 --> 00:45:22,000
Because you didn't ever have to take off your shoes.

813
00:45:22,000 --> 00:45:23,000
Mm hmm.

814
00:45:23,000 --> 00:45:31,000
And also you didn't have to like you know if you had like a big thing let's say a box

815
00:45:31,000 --> 00:45:32,000
full of tools.

816
00:45:32,000 --> 00:45:33,000
Uh huh.

817
00:45:33,000 --> 00:45:35,000
They just ran it through the x-ray and that was it.

818
00:45:35,000 --> 00:45:36,000
They didn't open it up.

819
00:45:36,000 --> 00:45:37,000
Yeah.

820
00:45:37,000 --> 00:45:40,000
Now if you went through the regular TSA nine times out of ten they opened it up and they

821
00:45:40,000 --> 00:45:42,000
got a look through everything and all that.

822
00:45:42,000 --> 00:45:43,000
Yeah.

823
00:45:43,000 --> 00:45:46,000
If you're preselected supposedly they done all the elbow work first.

824
00:45:46,000 --> 00:45:47,000
Yeah.

825
00:45:47,000 --> 00:45:48,000
Yeah.

826
00:45:48,000 --> 00:45:51,000
Which I think is complete it's a complete lie.

827
00:45:51,000 --> 00:45:58,000
True because that's exactly what a person who's decided to blow up an airplane could

828
00:45:58,000 --> 00:45:59,000
do.

829
00:45:59,000 --> 00:46:00,000
Get preselected.

830
00:46:00,000 --> 00:46:01,000
Yes.

831
00:46:01,000 --> 00:46:02,000
Before they start doing anything suspicious.

832
00:46:02,000 --> 00:46:04,000
That's what I always thought too get preselected.

833
00:46:04,000 --> 00:46:05,000
Uh huh.

834
00:46:05,000 --> 00:46:09,000
And then you know incrementally work your way up to being able to do something.

835
00:46:09,000 --> 00:46:12,000
And then you just walk right onto the airplane with a bomb in your shoes because they don't

836
00:46:12,000 --> 00:46:14,000
make you take your shoes off anymore.

837
00:46:14,000 --> 00:46:15,000
Yeah.

838
00:46:15,000 --> 00:46:16,000
Yep.

839
00:46:16,000 --> 00:46:19,000
So that hurts the rest of us.

840
00:46:19,000 --> 00:46:21,000
And all that is doing is designed to get them money.

841
00:46:21,000 --> 00:46:22,000
Yeah.

842
00:46:22,000 --> 00:46:23,000
That's all.

843
00:46:23,000 --> 00:46:24,000
Yeah.

844
00:46:24,000 --> 00:46:27,000
And it's not designed to stay help us stay safer we know this.

845
00:46:27,000 --> 00:46:29,000
And there are ways the airlines themselves do it.

846
00:46:29,000 --> 00:46:30,000
Uh huh.

847
00:46:30,000 --> 00:46:34,000
Uh you'll get there like Southwest would have their boarding groups.

848
00:46:34,000 --> 00:46:35,000
Yes.

849
00:46:35,000 --> 00:46:39,000
You'll get there and there's boarding group A B C or whatever.

850
00:46:39,000 --> 00:46:40,000
Uh huh.

851
00:46:40,000 --> 00:46:46,000
But at the last minute they'll say we have some of the special boarding passes left if

852
00:46:46,000 --> 00:46:48,000
you want to pay an extra fifty five dollars.

853
00:46:48,000 --> 00:46:49,000
Oh that drives me nuts.

854
00:46:49,000 --> 00:46:52,000
You can come right up and join the special boarding group and get right on.

855
00:46:52,000 --> 00:46:54,000
Yeah the thing that pisses me off is let's say you're A14.

856
00:46:54,000 --> 00:46:55,000
Uh huh.

857
00:46:55,000 --> 00:46:56,000
Let it go.

858
00:46:56,000 --> 00:46:57,000
You can get through A to 15.

859
00:46:57,000 --> 00:47:00,000
It's like oh great so you're going to push some motherfucker in front of me.

860
00:47:00,000 --> 00:47:01,000
Uh huh.

861
00:47:01,000 --> 00:47:02,000
Yeah.

862
00:47:02,000 --> 00:47:04,000
Because they're willing to spend more money than they get ahead of me.

863
00:47:04,000 --> 00:47:05,000
When they come up and do that.

864
00:47:05,000 --> 00:47:06,000
Uh huh.

865
00:47:06,000 --> 00:47:08,000
They don't go line up in A to 15.

866
00:47:08,000 --> 00:47:10,000
They just do the special boarding.

867
00:47:10,000 --> 00:47:11,000
Uh huh.

868
00:47:11,000 --> 00:47:12,000
So there's actually two A15's.

869
00:47:12,000 --> 00:47:13,000
Yeah.

870
00:47:13,000 --> 00:47:14,000
Or two A14's.

871
00:47:14,000 --> 00:47:15,000
It's a lie.

872
00:47:15,000 --> 00:47:16,000
It is.

873
00:47:16,000 --> 00:47:17,000
In my opinion I hate it.

874
00:47:17,000 --> 00:47:19,000
And then how often does Disney do it?

875
00:47:19,000 --> 00:47:20,000
Oh the fucking time.

876
00:47:20,000 --> 00:47:23,000
Oh by this special pass you get to skip the lines.

877
00:47:23,000 --> 00:47:24,000
Yeah.

878
00:47:24,000 --> 00:47:26,000
That's just it's a flagrant.

879
00:47:26,000 --> 00:47:28,000
That's how they came up with all those problems about it.

880
00:47:28,000 --> 00:47:30,000
I'm better than you because I have more money.

881
00:47:30,000 --> 00:47:31,000
That's what they're saying.

882
00:47:31,000 --> 00:47:35,000
They're basically renting mentally handicapped children to get in front in line.

883
00:47:35,000 --> 00:47:36,000
Uh huh.

884
00:47:36,000 --> 00:47:37,000
Yeah.

885
00:47:37,000 --> 00:47:38,000
But they actually sell passes.

886
00:47:38,000 --> 00:47:43,000
Like you know you can just come in like a regular person and get them back in the line.

887
00:47:43,000 --> 00:47:49,000
Or you can be you know Disney whatever this select class of whatever and pay extra.

888
00:47:49,000 --> 00:47:55,000
And you'll have your own Disney ambassador who will whisk you to the front of the line in front of everybody else.

889
00:47:55,000 --> 00:48:03,000
Now how does that look to everybody else who's been waiting three hours in line to see these rich ass snobs come floating by and smirking at you?

890
00:48:03,000 --> 00:48:04,000
Yeah.

891
00:48:04,000 --> 00:48:07,000
It makes me want to say fuck you Disney I'm never coming back.

892
00:48:07,000 --> 00:48:11,000
But you know the suckers flood in every year so what do I know?

893
00:48:11,000 --> 00:48:12,000
Well I haven't.

894
00:48:12,000 --> 00:48:16,000
I've not liked Disney in a long time anyhow.

895
00:48:16,000 --> 00:48:17,000
Yeah.

896
00:48:17,000 --> 00:48:21,000
So it doesn't do anything for me except confirm what I already thought.

897
00:48:21,000 --> 00:48:24,000
But other people I'm pretty sure it's turning them off.

898
00:48:24,000 --> 00:48:25,000
Yeah.

899
00:48:25,000 --> 00:48:34,000
You save up for years and take your child there and they virtually get to do nothing because the elite get to go in front of you because they paid extra.

900
00:48:34,000 --> 00:48:35,000
Yeah.

901
00:48:35,000 --> 00:48:36,000
It's wrong.

902
00:48:36,000 --> 00:48:37,000
Yeah.

903
00:48:37,000 --> 00:48:43,000
And I would hope that it leads to maybe some of these places not doing so well at the very least.

904
00:48:43,000 --> 00:48:47,000
It's it seems to me to be bad business in the long run.

905
00:48:47,000 --> 00:48:48,000
It's horrible business.

906
00:48:48,000 --> 00:48:49,000
Yeah.

907
00:48:49,000 --> 00:48:51,000
Cell phone providers do it too.

908
00:48:51,000 --> 00:48:52,000
Yes they do.

909
00:48:52,000 --> 00:49:02,000
You'll see a minor like a boost mobile or metro PC or whatever.

910
00:49:02,000 --> 00:49:07,000
Mint mobile those kind of places they say you know this we use this.

911
00:49:07,000 --> 00:49:09,000
Do you have the same coverage as the big providers?

912
00:49:09,000 --> 00:49:13,000
We use the same cell phone towers as the big providers.

913
00:49:13,000 --> 00:49:15,000
In some cases they say they are.

914
00:49:15,000 --> 00:49:16,000
Yeah.

915
00:49:16,000 --> 00:49:20,000
And I think it's like total total goes this is total by Verizon.

916
00:49:20,000 --> 00:49:23,000
Yeah because they bought them.

917
00:49:23,000 --> 00:49:25,000
Verizon just bought Mint Mobile too.

918
00:49:25,000 --> 00:49:26,000
Oh they did.

919
00:49:26,000 --> 00:49:27,000
That's right.

920
00:49:27,000 --> 00:49:28,000
Because what's his name.

921
00:49:28,000 --> 00:49:29,000
I remember he.

922
00:49:29,000 --> 00:49:30,000
Ryan Reynolds.

923
00:49:30,000 --> 00:49:31,000
Ryan Reynolds.

924
00:49:31,000 --> 00:49:32,000
Yeah.

925
00:49:32,000 --> 00:49:38,000
But you know a number of these what they're doing is they're they're buying time on the cell phone towers.

926
00:49:38,000 --> 00:49:43,000
So yeah you're getting the same cell phone towers to the same coverage the same call reliability.

927
00:49:43,000 --> 00:49:52,000
But the thing is the people who are paying more than you are still going to line jump because when traffic gets heavy your call your data etc.

928
00:49:52,000 --> 00:49:53,000
Gets pushed to the side.

929
00:49:53,000 --> 00:49:54,000
Yes.

930
00:49:54,000 --> 00:49:59,000
And the people who are paying full price don't see a single interruption in their service.

931
00:49:59,000 --> 00:50:05,000
But since you're paying less you know you're kicked to the side of the road and you had to wait.

932
00:50:05,000 --> 00:50:06,000
Yeah.

933
00:50:06,000 --> 00:50:14,000
You know if that's OK with you then go ahead and do it but over and over we're told if you have some money you get this.

934
00:50:14,000 --> 00:50:17,000
But if you have a lot of money look what else you get.

935
00:50:17,000 --> 00:50:18,000
Anything.

936
00:50:18,000 --> 00:50:19,000
Anything you want.

937
00:50:19,000 --> 00:50:20,000
Yeah.

938
00:50:20,000 --> 00:50:26,000
Isn't that grooming us all to just dedicate our lives to making more money so we can get more.

939
00:50:26,000 --> 00:50:27,000
Yeah.

940
00:50:27,000 --> 00:50:28,000
We get the more that other people are getting.

941
00:50:28,000 --> 00:50:29,000
No it is.

942
00:50:29,000 --> 00:50:33,000
We're being groomed to become slaves to the wage.

943
00:50:33,000 --> 00:50:35,000
It's kind of sickening.

944
00:50:35,000 --> 00:50:36,000
No it is.

945
00:50:36,000 --> 00:50:40,000
I would agree.

946
00:50:40,000 --> 00:50:46,000
All right Topher you hear about the new yellow sections in stadiums.

947
00:50:46,000 --> 00:50:47,000
Yellows.

948
00:50:47,000 --> 00:50:48,000
Football stadiums.

949
00:50:48,000 --> 00:50:50,000
No I haven't heard of yellow sections.

950
00:50:50,000 --> 00:50:51,000
OK.

951
00:50:51,000 --> 00:50:54,000
Yellow sections is a new alcohol free section.

952
00:50:54,000 --> 00:50:55,000
Oh what a great idea.

953
00:50:55,000 --> 00:50:57,000
It's actually not even that new.

954
00:50:57,000 --> 00:50:59,000
It's just not that well known.

955
00:50:59,000 --> 00:51:00,000
Oh.

956
00:51:00,000 --> 00:51:01,000
At first I've heard of it.

957
00:51:01,000 --> 00:51:02,000
See.

958
00:51:02,000 --> 00:51:05,000
It's been going on since 2009.

959
00:51:05,000 --> 00:51:06,000
Oh OK.

960
00:51:06,000 --> 00:51:07,000
Yeah.

961
00:51:07,000 --> 00:51:10,000
Section yellow is co founded by John Plagman.

962
00:51:10,000 --> 00:51:18,000
2009 a few months into his recovery from alcohol abuse he attended a concert by rock band

963
00:51:18,000 --> 00:51:19,000
Phish.

964
00:51:19,000 --> 00:51:23,000
He feared the alcohol heavy environment might disrupt his recovery.

965
00:51:23,000 --> 00:51:24,000
Oh yeah.

966
00:51:24,000 --> 00:51:27,000
Until he found out that Phish had this yellow section.

967
00:51:27,000 --> 00:51:31,000
That you could go to this alcohol free.

968
00:51:31,000 --> 00:51:33,000
Remember the rock band Phish.

969
00:51:33,000 --> 00:51:34,000
Yeah.

970
00:51:34,000 --> 00:51:35,000
They were interesting.

971
00:51:35,000 --> 00:51:36,000
Yes.

972
00:51:36,000 --> 00:51:39,000
They were what would you say almost reggae kind of.

973
00:51:39,000 --> 00:51:40,000
They were a real jam band.

974
00:51:40,000 --> 00:51:41,000
Jam band.

975
00:51:41,000 --> 00:51:43,000
Yeah jam band would probably be a better way to describe them.

976
00:51:43,000 --> 00:51:46,000
I like them but it's never been my whole thing you know.

977
00:51:46,000 --> 00:51:47,000
They were good but yeah.

978
00:51:47,000 --> 00:51:51,000
I actually ran into the percussionist for Phish.

979
00:51:51,000 --> 00:51:52,000
Really.

980
00:51:52,000 --> 00:51:54,000
At a local drum shop.

981
00:51:54,000 --> 00:52:01,000
He came in to get some percussion items and he had this little set of bongos that were

982
00:52:01,000 --> 00:52:05,000
they were so small they could fit in the palm of your hand.

983
00:52:05,000 --> 00:52:10,000
And they're called finger bongos I think but you kind of held them between a couple fingers

984
00:52:10,000 --> 00:52:11,000
and you play them with one finger.

985
00:52:11,000 --> 00:52:13,000
Yes I saw that on the internet.

986
00:52:13,000 --> 00:52:15,000
They're really interesting little things.

987
00:52:15,000 --> 00:52:17,000
They're actually really little bongos.

988
00:52:17,000 --> 00:52:18,000
Yeah.

989
00:52:18,000 --> 00:52:22,000
And he had come in to get something else but he found those and he was just in love with

990
00:52:22,000 --> 00:52:27,000
them and he was standing at the cash register and he was just tapping around on it having

991
00:52:27,000 --> 00:52:28,000
a good old time.

992
00:52:28,000 --> 00:52:29,000
That's awesome.

993
00:52:29,000 --> 00:52:32,000
He's wearing tie dye and long hair and he looked like.

994
00:52:32,000 --> 00:52:33,000
About what you'd imagine.

995
00:52:33,000 --> 00:52:34,000
Yeah.

996
00:52:34,000 --> 00:52:39,000
And when he left the owner of the drum shop who was a long time friend of mine he said

997
00:52:39,000 --> 00:52:41,000
oh that's you know so and so for Phish there in town.

998
00:52:41,000 --> 00:52:43,000
I was like oh really okay.

999
00:52:43,000 --> 00:52:48,000
So my brush with a famous touring musician.

1000
00:52:48,000 --> 00:52:49,000
That is cool.

1001
00:52:49,000 --> 00:52:53,000
He also ran into Pat Tomick there the drummer for the Rainmakers.

1002
00:52:53,000 --> 00:53:00,000
And he also played with some other some other local talents and man I'm going to miss that

1003
00:53:00,000 --> 00:53:03,000
drum shop because now that it's closed.

1004
00:53:03,000 --> 00:53:04,000
Yeah.

1005
00:53:04,000 --> 00:53:05,000
Ran into.

1006
00:53:05,000 --> 00:53:06,000
Remember.

1007
00:53:06,000 --> 00:53:10,000
Did you ever see the store Unique Fashions.

1008
00:53:10,000 --> 00:53:14,000
No I don't think I did.

1009
00:53:14,000 --> 00:53:17,000
It was right next to the Lone Star in Westport.

1010
00:53:17,000 --> 00:53:20,000
You ever been to the old Lone Star in Westport.

1011
00:53:20,000 --> 00:53:21,000
Yeah.

1012
00:53:21,000 --> 00:53:22,000
OK yeah the metal bar.

1013
00:53:22,000 --> 00:53:24,000
Well it was a rock bar too.

1014
00:53:24,000 --> 00:53:28,000
But it was known if you ever wanted to see a heavy band play.

1015
00:53:28,000 --> 00:53:29,000
Yeah.

1016
00:53:29,000 --> 00:53:30,000
That would have been where it played.

1017
00:53:30,000 --> 00:53:31,000
OK.

1018
00:53:31,000 --> 00:53:32,000
Yeah.

1019
00:53:32,000 --> 00:53:33,000
The Lone Star is a pretty cool place.

1020
00:53:33,000 --> 00:53:37,000
That run down place is nothing special but there have been some really good concerts

1021
00:53:37,000 --> 00:53:41,000
went on there for a long time especially in the 80s early 90s.

1022
00:53:41,000 --> 00:53:42,000
Yeah.

1023
00:53:42,000 --> 00:53:46,000
So a lot of glam stuff a lot of real metal stuff went there.

1024
00:53:46,000 --> 00:53:51,000
It was John Sinclair was hanging out in front of Unique Fashions.

1025
00:53:51,000 --> 00:53:52,000
Oh wow.

1026
00:53:52,000 --> 00:53:53,000
Yeah.

1027
00:53:53,000 --> 00:53:55,000
And he was playing for some newer band.

1028
00:53:55,000 --> 00:53:58,000
I'm talking about you know the keyboardist.

1029
00:53:58,000 --> 00:53:59,000
Yeah.

1030
00:53:59,000 --> 00:54:01,000
And he was playing for some newer band.

1031
00:54:01,000 --> 00:54:04,000
And I never did recognize the name.

1032
00:54:04,000 --> 00:54:08,000
I don't think it ever got over it but he came in there to get fitted by the guy from Unique

1033
00:54:08,000 --> 00:54:09,000
Fashions.

1034
00:54:09,000 --> 00:54:13,000
And he goes yeah he goes it's kind of a glam band and all that but I didn't know who he

1035
00:54:13,000 --> 00:54:14,000
was at all.

1036
00:54:14,000 --> 00:54:17,000
He had to explain it to me a little bit later.

1037
00:54:17,000 --> 00:54:18,000
Yeah.

1038
00:54:18,000 --> 00:54:21,000
Because I was there getting some stuff to look cool and yeah.

1039
00:54:21,000 --> 00:54:25,000
Me and Baby thought we're starting our first conception of this band that we called Circus

1040
00:54:25,000 --> 00:54:26,000
at the time.

1041
00:54:26,000 --> 00:54:27,000
Oh wow.

1042
00:54:27,000 --> 00:54:28,000
Yeah.

1043
00:54:28,000 --> 00:54:30,000
Well it blew but anyhow.

1044
00:54:30,000 --> 00:54:35,000
So anyhow I'm in there trying to get some cool looking fucking digs and anyhow he's

1045
00:54:35,000 --> 00:54:39,000
there and he's like yeah he goes yeah I'm getting fitted by so and so I guess the guy

1046
00:54:39,000 --> 00:54:46,000
that started Unique Fashions like really high up on the fashion design for glam and metal.

1047
00:54:46,000 --> 00:54:50,000
He did Judas Priest remember when they did the turbo stuff.

1048
00:54:50,000 --> 00:54:51,000
Yeah.

1049
00:54:51,000 --> 00:54:55,000
When they got out of leather and started wearing more glamish stuff and all that.

1050
00:54:55,000 --> 00:55:05,000
Of course he did a oh shit it was it was the big band here for a long time.

1051
00:55:05,000 --> 00:55:09,000
Glam band Tommy Lee Flood and all those guys.

1052
00:55:09,000 --> 00:55:10,000
Banshee.

1053
00:55:10,000 --> 00:55:11,000
Yeah.

1054
00:55:11,000 --> 00:55:12,000
Yeah.

1055
00:55:12,000 --> 00:55:13,000
He did Banshee.

1056
00:55:13,000 --> 00:55:21,000
He did some of Motley Crue's and he was affiliated with Banshee somehow but anyhow.

1057
00:55:21,000 --> 00:55:22,000
Yeah.

1058
00:55:22,000 --> 00:55:24,000
Anyhow John Sinclair and he had to tell me who he was.

1059
00:55:24,000 --> 00:55:25,000
You know.

1060
00:55:25,000 --> 00:55:30,000
Because yeah he goes and he goes I'm going to be in this new band and I'm like yeah I

1061
00:55:30,000 --> 00:55:33,000
go you look really familiar and he goes yeah he goes I'm John Sinclair.

1062
00:55:33,000 --> 00:55:37,000
And he goes I'm going to be keyboardist for this guy and he's a really nice guy.

1063
00:55:37,000 --> 00:55:42,000
And I direct him to Tori's Pizza right next door and all that stuff because he's looking

1064
00:55:42,000 --> 00:55:44,000
for a good slice of pie and all that stuff.

1065
00:55:44,000 --> 00:55:50,000
Anyhow but that's kind of like how did we even get onto famous oh the guy from Phish.

1066
00:55:50,000 --> 00:55:51,000
Yeah.

1067
00:55:51,000 --> 00:55:55,000
Okay anyhow that kind of happened to me too and I had no idea who he was until but he

1068
00:55:55,000 --> 00:55:59,000
actually ended up telling me who he was and what he was doing there because we were just

1069
00:55:59,000 --> 00:56:02,000
you know I was just telling him you know hey we're just going to stick around.

1070
00:56:02,000 --> 00:56:07,000
Well he was really cool because he listened to me and he wished me well on the band and

1071
00:56:07,000 --> 00:56:13,000
he told me practice practice practice practice practice practice right right right right

1072
00:56:13,000 --> 00:56:14,000
practice.

1073
00:56:14,000 --> 00:56:19,000
He was like very dead on he was a very nice guy and I believe he's English I didn't even

1074
00:56:19,000 --> 00:56:23,000
know he sounded English but anyhow very cool.

1075
00:56:23,000 --> 00:56:27,000
But I was going to Yellow Sections.

1076
00:56:27,000 --> 00:56:28,000
Yeah.

1077
00:56:28,000 --> 00:56:34,000
Well you know this Phish concert that this guy was at had a yellow section for non-alcoholic

1078
00:56:34,000 --> 00:56:36,000
and this is where he had the idea.

1079
00:56:36,000 --> 00:56:43,000
A few years later after finding out about this yellow section Plague Men become a volunteer

1080
00:56:43,000 --> 00:56:49,000
for a sober community project for fellow Green Bay Packer fans which evolved into these new

1081
00:56:49,000 --> 00:56:50,000
yellow sections.

1082
00:56:50,000 --> 00:56:55,000
These new yellow sections for people that do not want to be around alcohol but still

1083
00:56:55,000 --> 00:57:03,000
want to enjoy a game at the stadium and here are the NFL teams besides the Packers that

1084
00:57:03,000 --> 00:57:13,000
partake in this Arizona Cardinals Seattle Seahawks Kansas City Chiefs Tampa Bay Buccaneers

1085
00:57:13,000 --> 00:57:15,000
yeah yeah for the Chiefs too.

1086
00:57:15,000 --> 00:57:23,000
New England Patriots yeah Jacksonville Jack wires.

1087
00:57:23,000 --> 00:57:26,000
Cleveland Bozos oh no Browns.

1088
00:57:26,000 --> 00:57:32,000
That's probably a good idea because they get a little too maniacal and start throwing batteries.

1089
00:57:32,000 --> 00:57:34,000
Yeah remember that yeah.

1090
00:57:34,000 --> 00:57:38,000
Or was that that was Oakland too.

1091
00:57:38,000 --> 00:57:44,000
I remember this famously it was the the Bengals coach saying you know quit throwing snowballs

1092
00:57:44,000 --> 00:57:47,000
on the field you live in Cincinnati not Cleveland.

1093
00:57:47,000 --> 00:57:49,000
Oh yeah yeah yeah that's right.

1094
00:57:49,000 --> 00:57:57,000
Philly fans are the ones that booed Santa Claus and yeah it pelted in with snowballs.

1095
00:57:57,000 --> 00:57:59,000
Yes.

1096
00:57:59,000 --> 00:58:03,000
And the Raiders are batteries they threw batteries.

1097
00:58:03,000 --> 00:58:12,000
The Detroit Femmes oh no no Lions I'm sorry I read that wrong yeah.

1098
00:58:12,000 --> 00:58:16,000
The Chicago Crossdressers no no no Bears yeah.

1099
00:58:16,000 --> 00:58:20,000
Soon to be no longer in Soldier Field yes.

1100
00:58:20,000 --> 00:58:27,000
The Buffalo Billies and Billy and Billy Buffalo and Billy.

1101
00:58:27,000 --> 00:58:36,000
The Miami Porpoises no porpoise no all the all the Florida teams yeah yep and the Pittsburgh

1102
00:58:36,000 --> 00:58:38,000
Squealers Squealers.

1103
00:58:38,000 --> 00:58:40,000
Squeal like a pig.

1104
00:58:40,000 --> 00:58:43,000
Squeal like a pig fat boy.

1105
00:58:43,000 --> 00:58:46,000
Name the movie.

1106
00:58:46,000 --> 00:58:48,000
Oh my god.

1107
00:58:48,000 --> 00:58:53,000
And that is why I never you know speaking of deliverance movie you're speaking about.

1108
00:58:53,000 --> 00:58:58,000
That is why I never want to go on to those riverboat cruises down the Mississippi.

1109
00:58:58,000 --> 00:59:02,000
Because if you hit one rock and you're stuck that's it you're hearing banjos.

1110
00:59:02,000 --> 00:59:03,000
Yes.

1111
00:59:03,000 --> 00:59:05,000
It's over.

1112
00:59:05,000 --> 00:59:09,000
Oh but anyhow let me go and wrap up this yellow section.

1113
00:59:09,000 --> 00:59:14,000
The yellow section also has literature on how to stay sober.

1114
00:59:14,000 --> 00:59:18,000
It has areas there that you can go to and speak to counselors if you want.

1115
00:59:18,000 --> 00:59:23,000
And these are stadiums that are in existence then they have them right now.

1116
00:59:23,000 --> 00:59:25,000
That's smart.

1117
00:59:25,000 --> 00:59:26,000
Yeah it really is.

1118
00:59:26,000 --> 00:59:31,000
So Arrowhead Stadium at KUH field yeah yeah.

1119
00:59:31,000 --> 00:59:36,000
You go into KUH field at Arrowhead Stadium yeah and they have this.

1120
00:59:36,000 --> 00:59:39,000
As soon as they start paying us to say their corporate name we'll say it.

1121
00:59:39,000 --> 00:59:42,000
Yeah but other than that it's KUH field.

1122
00:59:42,000 --> 00:59:46,000
Yeah and Sandstone it's not whatever name it is because they don't pay us to.

1123
00:59:46,000 --> 00:59:47,000
No Sandstone.

1124
00:59:47,000 --> 00:59:57,000
Well yeah I see that's a smart idea and you have this yellow zone and you have some guy who's hammered and he looks into the yellow zone and says gee they're having fun and I'm really not.

1125
00:59:57,000 --> 01:00:02,000
So he can go there and say you know I want to get help you know.

1126
01:00:02,000 --> 01:00:12,000
And it's awesome that they can you know it's not like they're going to be you know dragging people in and yelling at you to you know they're there if you want to.

1127
01:00:12,000 --> 01:00:16,000
I'll put it like this I've never had an alcohol and I know you're the same.

1128
01:00:16,000 --> 01:00:20,000
Never had an alcohol or an addiction issue of any kind.

1129
01:00:20,000 --> 01:00:21,000
Well eating maybe.

1130
01:00:21,000 --> 01:00:23,000
Yeah.

1131
01:00:23,000 --> 01:00:27,000
But I consider that somewhat normal in America good food so cheap.

1132
01:00:27,000 --> 01:00:28,000
Yeah.

1133
01:00:28,000 --> 01:00:35,000
But thing is is I've never had these issues at the same time I think it's fantastic that they're doing this.

1134
01:00:35,000 --> 01:00:36,000
Yeah absolutely.

1135
01:00:36,000 --> 01:00:46,000
Yeah so maybe people can go unwind and not worry about relapsing because some fuck just spelt like three pounds of Coors Light on.

1136
01:00:46,000 --> 01:01:03,000
So and you know that's been the big sticking point for public marijuana consumption is when you exhale or whatever is burning off the end of your joint or whatever the surrounding people are inhaling it whether they want it or not.

1137
01:01:03,000 --> 01:01:19,000
So it doesn't make sense to put it in a public place where people who want to stay sober are going to be forced isn't the right word but they're going to be there to breathe it in whether they want it or not.

1138
01:01:19,000 --> 01:01:29,000
It does make sense to make public areas where you gain entrance knowing that weed is going to be smoked in there and you will get some in your lungs etc.

1139
01:01:29,000 --> 01:01:35,000
So it's not like you know oh my god I'm smelling weed and I'm going to get drug tested at work tomorrow I'm screwed.

1140
01:01:35,000 --> 01:01:36,000
Yeah.

1141
01:01:36,000 --> 01:01:37,000
That shouldn't happen.

1142
01:01:37,000 --> 01:01:38,000
No.

1143
01:01:38,000 --> 01:01:55,000
But if you want to go to a public area and you're you know away from everyone else and you can smoke you know that's already you know trying to get put into place here in Nevada in Las Vegas they're trying to have public consumption areas so.

1144
01:01:55,000 --> 01:02:01,000
Keep that separation to where if people don't want that as part of the experience they don't have to have it.

1145
01:02:01,000 --> 01:02:02,000
I agree.

1146
01:02:02,000 --> 01:02:07,000
Yeah these yellow zones are a great idea it's going to make it a lot more family friendly in those areas too.

1147
01:02:07,000 --> 01:02:08,000
I agree.

1148
01:02:08,000 --> 01:02:09,000
Yeah.

1149
01:02:09,000 --> 01:02:11,000
I agree 100%.

1150
01:02:11,000 --> 01:02:22,000
It's funny you'll get to the stadium and one parent is going to go sit in the regular seats and get hammered and the other parent's going to be in the yellow zone with the kids.

1151
01:02:22,000 --> 01:02:34,000
Instead of the doing in his family is like you know it's either mom or dad is going to get stuck with the kid and the other one's going to get out there hammering down beers.

1152
01:02:34,000 --> 01:02:40,000
So you got sober parents to drive home with the drunk ass parent puking out the back window.

1153
01:02:40,000 --> 01:02:42,000
That'd be awesome.

1154
01:02:42,000 --> 01:02:46,000
I'm all for that.

1155
01:02:46,000 --> 01:02:48,000
I got a little chief story here.

1156
01:02:48,000 --> 01:02:49,000
Oh I love it.

1157
01:02:49,000 --> 01:02:55,000
It actually started it's actually from a couple of weeks ago but I figured we might as well just go ahead and get it now.

1158
01:02:55,000 --> 01:03:02,000
According to multiple sources for cancer the chiefs the chiefs are trying to resign Juju Smith which did not happen.

1159
01:03:02,000 --> 01:03:03,000
Yeah.

1160
01:03:03,000 --> 01:03:13,000
That's why I had to preempt it with a couple weeks ago and most if not all the receiving core including wide receiver special teams guy McColl Hartman.

1161
01:03:13,000 --> 01:03:21,000
They're trying to retain all of them if they can but they've already lost Juju and I don't know who else they're going to lose either.

1162
01:03:21,000 --> 01:03:33,000
Okay the interesting fact is what was said afterwards the sources said that some top name wide receivers have been blowing up my home's phone expressing interest in joining the team.

1163
01:03:33,000 --> 01:03:36,000
The actual names they declined to say in public.

1164
01:03:36,000 --> 01:03:43,000
One source also chimed in that a pair of big name running backs also called to fill the water.

1165
01:03:43,000 --> 01:03:48,000
Well I personally think Pacheco and McKinnon have definitely earned their roles as starters.

1166
01:03:48,000 --> 01:03:55,000
Now Kaderius Tony he's earned his spot as special teams and a wide receiver.

1167
01:03:55,000 --> 01:03:57,000
Yeah.

1168
01:03:57,000 --> 01:04:01,000
Now.

1169
01:04:01,000 --> 01:04:03,000
Valdez Gantling.

1170
01:04:03,000 --> 01:04:06,000
I think that he deserves another shot.

1171
01:04:06,000 --> 01:04:08,000
Yeah he put up good numbers.

1172
01:04:08,000 --> 01:04:09,000
Yeah.

1173
01:04:09,000 --> 01:04:11,000
Yeah and he had some catches.

1174
01:04:11,000 --> 01:04:12,000
Yeah.

1175
01:04:12,000 --> 01:04:15,000
Downfield that if he can expand on that.

1176
01:04:15,000 --> 01:04:22,000
Hardman I think that he's really good at special teams.

1177
01:04:22,000 --> 01:04:23,000
Good return man.

1178
01:04:23,000 --> 01:04:27,000
He's a good return man but he has never been that one solid guy.

1179
01:04:27,000 --> 01:04:30,000
Number two guy like they thought he was going to be.

1180
01:04:30,000 --> 01:04:33,000
So he's got to be a right money guy.

1181
01:04:33,000 --> 01:04:34,000
Yeah I can see that.

1182
01:04:34,000 --> 01:04:37,000
So.

1183
01:04:37,000 --> 01:04:54,000
So it's going to be pretty interesting you know to see exactly what they settle on because I'm not so sure if maybe the chief style is not going out and getting an Odell Beckham Jr.

1184
01:04:54,000 --> 01:04:57,000
Yeah not him specifically but someone like him.

1185
01:04:57,000 --> 01:04:58,000
Yes like that.

1186
01:04:58,000 --> 01:04:59,000
Yeah.

1187
01:04:59,000 --> 01:05:05,000
I'm not so sure that that is her style as a matter of fact I would say that their style is the opposite of that.

1188
01:05:05,000 --> 01:05:09,000
Yeah I'm trying to think of any time that they've gone out and got.

1189
01:05:09,000 --> 01:05:19,000
Well when they got Marcus Allen as running back that was a big deal but I'm trying to think of when they've ever gone after a big name wide receiver.

1190
01:05:19,000 --> 01:05:21,000
It's I can't think of one.

1191
01:05:21,000 --> 01:05:26,000
About the closest might have been in recent memory with Jeremy Macklin.

1192
01:05:26,000 --> 01:05:27,000
Yeah.

1193
01:05:27,000 --> 01:05:31,000
But I mean he was a really good one not not an upper echelon.

1194
01:05:31,000 --> 01:05:32,000
Yeah.

1195
01:05:32,000 --> 01:05:40,000
I mean I personally think that they probably could have got a couple of wide receivers that were on the market earlier in the year if they wanted to.

1196
01:05:40,000 --> 01:05:41,000
But they didn't.

1197
01:05:41,000 --> 01:05:45,000
And you know to me it seems like the chiefs are always losing receivers.

1198
01:05:45,000 --> 01:05:52,000
You know Tyree Hill seems to me like they're too many times but they're they make the receivers.

1199
01:05:52,000 --> 01:05:53,000
Yeah.

1200
01:05:53,000 --> 01:05:55,000
And then they let him go.

1201
01:05:55,000 --> 01:05:58,000
I tell you that's not going to be completely true.

1202
01:05:58,000 --> 01:06:01,000
Smith did a hell of a job in Pittsburgh wasn't it.

1203
01:06:01,000 --> 01:06:02,000
Yeah.

1204
01:06:02,000 --> 01:06:03,000
He did a hell of a job in Pittsburgh.

1205
01:06:03,000 --> 01:06:04,000
He was great.

1206
01:06:04,000 --> 01:06:05,000
He did a hell of a job here.

1207
01:06:05,000 --> 01:06:06,000
He was great.

1208
01:06:06,000 --> 01:06:09,000
Now I think his growing is going to stop.

1209
01:06:09,000 --> 01:06:10,000
Maybe.

1210
01:06:10,000 --> 01:06:11,000
Yeah.

1211
01:06:11,000 --> 01:06:13,000
Where did he land I forgot.

1212
01:06:13,000 --> 01:06:14,000
New England.

1213
01:06:14,000 --> 01:06:15,000
New England.

1214
01:06:15,000 --> 01:06:17,000
Mack Jones only going to do so much.

1215
01:06:17,000 --> 01:06:18,000
Yeah.

1216
01:06:18,000 --> 01:06:19,000
Yeah.

1217
01:06:19,000 --> 01:06:21,000
He's had good quarterbacks pushing him and helping him.

1218
01:06:21,000 --> 01:06:24,000
At this point he's going to have to do some of the pulling.

1219
01:06:24,000 --> 01:06:28,000
He's going to be a nine hundred thousand yard guy at best.

1220
01:06:28,000 --> 01:06:29,000
Yeah.

1221
01:06:29,000 --> 01:06:31,000
For a few years and then he'll start dropping off in my opinion.

1222
01:06:31,000 --> 01:06:32,000
Yeah.

1223
01:06:32,000 --> 01:06:36,000
I think he's reached his top and the reason he's reached his top is because he reached

1224
01:06:36,000 --> 01:06:39,000
the best quarterbacks he could have early in his career.

1225
01:06:39,000 --> 01:06:45,000
And let's face it Rothlisberger wasn't that great and by the time Smith started playing

1226
01:06:45,000 --> 01:06:47,000
with him really I mean.

1227
01:06:47,000 --> 01:06:48,000
He was yeah.

1228
01:06:48,000 --> 01:06:52,000
Rothlisberger was tough and good in the short game short game.

1229
01:06:52,000 --> 01:06:53,000
Yeah.

1230
01:06:53,000 --> 01:07:01,000
So I remember Smith Schuster saying before the offseason that he said I like Kansas City

1231
01:07:01,000 --> 01:07:07,000
I would like to resign and keep playing here but it's not up to me.

1232
01:07:07,000 --> 01:07:12,000
But I think it ultimately it was they offered him something and he turned it down.

1233
01:07:12,000 --> 01:07:16,000
I think that Schuster might be like he's got Jack Rabin in him.

1234
01:07:16,000 --> 01:07:18,000
You know he's not afraid to leave.

1235
01:07:18,000 --> 01:07:19,000
Yeah.

1236
01:07:19,000 --> 01:07:21,000
He's fine with jumping to a new team.

1237
01:07:21,000 --> 01:07:22,000
Yeah.

1238
01:07:22,000 --> 01:07:24,000
So I think there's something for that psyche.

1239
01:07:24,000 --> 01:07:25,000
Yeah.

1240
01:07:25,000 --> 01:07:27,000
That you don't care.

1241
01:07:27,000 --> 01:07:30,000
There's people like Kelsey Mahomes like I want to retire here.

1242
01:07:30,000 --> 01:07:34,000
That's where I want to be.

1243
01:07:34,000 --> 01:07:38,000
Salvador Perez if you will must stay in Kansas City win or lose.

1244
01:07:38,000 --> 01:07:43,000
You know he got his super he got his World Series World Series ring been there twice

1245
01:07:43,000 --> 01:07:44,000
won one he's happy.

1246
01:07:44,000 --> 01:07:45,000
Yeah.

1247
01:07:45,000 --> 01:07:47,000
Juju is like the opposite.

1248
01:07:47,000 --> 01:07:49,000
He's got his ring.

1249
01:07:49,000 --> 01:07:51,000
Got ring will travel.

1250
01:07:51,000 --> 01:07:52,000
Yeah.

1251
01:07:52,000 --> 01:07:53,000
Yeah.

1252
01:07:53,000 --> 01:07:54,000
Which is fine.

1253
01:07:54,000 --> 01:07:57,000
And you know he might be chasing the Hall of Fame numbers.

1254
01:07:57,000 --> 01:08:05,000
He might be just you know trying to get some good earning years in and then get out.

1255
01:08:05,000 --> 01:08:09,000
To me he reminds me of a good receiver but not a top upper echelon.

1256
01:08:09,000 --> 01:08:13,000
Yeah I don't I don't think we're going to be talking about him for Hall of Fame anytime.

1257
01:08:13,000 --> 01:08:14,000
No.

1258
01:08:14,000 --> 01:08:16,000
But he'll be remembered fondly by a few.

1259
01:08:16,000 --> 01:08:19,000
He's kind of like Jeremy Macklin who I forementioned.

1260
01:08:19,000 --> 01:08:20,000
Yeah.

1261
01:08:20,000 --> 01:08:22,000
Warm feeling your tummy highs.

1262
01:08:22,000 --> 01:08:23,000
Pretty good pretty good receiver.

1263
01:08:23,000 --> 01:08:24,000
Yeah and we liked him.

1264
01:08:24,000 --> 01:08:25,000
He did good.

1265
01:08:25,000 --> 01:08:26,000
Yeah.

1266
01:08:26,000 --> 01:08:27,000
That's about it.

1267
01:08:27,000 --> 01:08:28,000
Yeah.

1268
01:08:28,000 --> 01:08:29,000
Yeah.

1269
01:08:29,000 --> 01:08:30,000
Or a stoop menace.

1270
01:08:30,000 --> 01:08:31,000
Yeah.

1271
01:08:31,000 --> 01:08:32,000
Yeah he was good.

1272
01:08:32,000 --> 01:08:33,000
Yeah but.

1273
01:08:33,000 --> 01:08:34,000
Yeah.

1274
01:08:34,000 --> 01:08:35,000
That's about it.

1275
01:08:35,000 --> 01:08:43,000
In one of the Madden football games they have when you look at some of the football rosters

1276
01:08:43,000 --> 01:08:50,000
players are tagged by members of your staff as a good fill in player for the meantime

1277
01:08:50,000 --> 01:08:53,000
but trade him while he's still young.

1278
01:08:53,000 --> 01:08:56,000
And I think chiefs do a lot of that with receivers.

1279
01:08:56,000 --> 01:08:57,000
They really do.

1280
01:08:57,000 --> 01:08:58,000
Yeah.

1281
01:08:58,000 --> 01:09:00,000
They don't want any old receivers.

1282
01:09:00,000 --> 01:09:01,000
Tight ends yes.

1283
01:09:01,000 --> 01:09:04,000
You know they're willing to keep Kelsey for a long time.

1284
01:09:04,000 --> 01:09:07,000
They were willing to keep Gonzalez for a long time.

1285
01:09:07,000 --> 01:09:08,000
Yeah.

1286
01:09:08,000 --> 01:09:11,000
Gonzalez is the one that wanted the trade to go chase the Super Bowl.

1287
01:09:11,000 --> 01:09:12,000
Yeah.

1288
01:09:12,000 --> 01:09:17,000
Yeah he made it the one and if the fucking owner didn't come out on the field to celebrate

1289
01:09:17,000 --> 01:09:18,000
they might have won one.

1290
01:09:18,000 --> 01:09:19,000
Yeah.

1291
01:09:19,000 --> 01:09:20,000
So yeah.

1292
01:09:20,000 --> 01:09:26,000
It seems like teams make a decision on which positions they want older players and which

1293
01:09:26,000 --> 01:09:30,000
positions they want just keep young players rotating through.

1294
01:09:30,000 --> 01:09:34,000
Let's just be glad that Matt Ryan is finally going to retire.

1295
01:09:34,000 --> 01:09:36,000
What an ass bag.

1296
01:09:36,000 --> 01:09:43,000
Man he had a great run in Atlanta but then he just I don't know he really tainted his

1297
01:09:43,000 --> 01:09:44,000
legacy.

1298
01:09:44,000 --> 01:09:45,000
Yeah he did.

1299
01:09:45,000 --> 01:09:46,000
Yeah taint.

1300
01:09:46,000 --> 01:09:47,000
Tainted.

1301
01:09:47,000 --> 01:09:52,000
Yep he took his legacy and rubbed it on his taint.

1302
01:09:52,000 --> 01:09:55,000
Yes he did.

1303
01:09:55,000 --> 01:09:56,000
Yeah.

1304
01:09:56,000 --> 01:09:58,000
Anyhow Beluga whales.

1305
01:09:58,000 --> 01:09:59,000
Right.

1306
01:09:59,000 --> 01:10:00,000
Those are cool.

1307
01:10:00,000 --> 01:10:01,000
Yeah they are very cool.

1308
01:10:01,000 --> 01:10:09,000
There's a Beluga whale that let me get this little story here.

1309
01:10:09,000 --> 01:10:11,000
Alright.

1310
01:10:11,000 --> 01:10:18,000
Well it's not that uncommon to encounter Beluga whales out in the ocean.

1311
01:10:18,000 --> 01:10:22,500
Recently Norwegian fishermen came across a whale that really surprised them and made

1312
01:10:22,500 --> 01:10:24,000
headlines all over the world.

1313
01:10:24,000 --> 01:10:29,000
When a friendly whale approached the fisherman's boat they noticed something odd about it.

1314
01:10:29,000 --> 01:10:37,000
The animal was wearing a harness that once the fisherman removed it they noticed it said

1315
01:10:37,000 --> 01:10:42,000
equipment of St. Petersburg written on it.

1316
01:10:42,000 --> 01:10:44,000
So and that didn't even mean the real story.

1317
01:10:44,000 --> 01:10:46,000
They don't know where it came from or why.

1318
01:10:46,000 --> 01:10:48,000
This out in the middle of nowhere.

1319
01:10:48,000 --> 01:10:49,000
Yeah.

1320
01:10:49,000 --> 01:10:54,000
So although the reason the whale was wearing the harness is still a mystery what is not

1321
01:10:54,000 --> 01:10:59,000
a mystery is the young Beluga whale and how very thoughtful it was.

1322
01:10:59,000 --> 01:11:05,000
When the young lady had dropped her smartphone in the ocean seemingly lost her phone forever

1323
01:11:05,000 --> 01:11:08,000
that was there along on the expedition.

1324
01:11:08,000 --> 01:11:12,000
The whale left briefly and then resurfaced on the lady's phone.

1325
01:11:12,000 --> 01:11:13,000
Oh wow.

1326
01:11:13,000 --> 01:11:17,000
The whale was never accounted for by any water show.

1327
01:11:17,000 --> 01:11:19,000
Not part of any research.

1328
01:11:19,000 --> 01:11:21,000
Nothing.

1329
01:11:21,000 --> 01:11:26,000
This Beluga whale just showed up with this harness that said property of St. Petersburg

1330
01:11:26,000 --> 01:11:27,000
equipment.

1331
01:11:27,000 --> 01:11:30,000
They took it off because it looked uncomfortable.

1332
01:11:30,000 --> 01:11:36,000
And then the lady like reached over she had her phone like somewhere on her.

1333
01:11:36,000 --> 01:11:41,000
She reached over to take a closer look at the Beluga whale and her phone fell in the

1334
01:11:41,000 --> 01:11:46,000
water and she could see it going like way down there and the Beluga whale disappeared

1335
01:11:46,000 --> 01:11:50,000
for a second and came back with the phone and handed it to her.

1336
01:11:50,000 --> 01:11:51,000
To her.

1337
01:11:51,000 --> 01:11:53,000
Not anyone else.

1338
01:11:53,000 --> 01:11:54,000
Her phone.

1339
01:11:54,000 --> 01:11:56,000
They are very smart animals.

1340
01:11:56,000 --> 01:12:03,000
It is within definitely within reality that a Beluga whale like that is smart enough to

1341
01:12:03,000 --> 01:12:07,000
know that this woman lost this and he can go get it for her.

1342
01:12:07,000 --> 01:12:11,000
Or she can go get it for her.

1343
01:12:11,000 --> 01:12:15,000
It is funny you bring this up because just the other day I saw a video of a guy who was

1344
01:12:15,000 --> 01:12:23,000
kayaking in a certain area and a sea otter came up with her baby and kept trying to put

1345
01:12:23,000 --> 01:12:27,000
the baby on the guy's kayak.

1346
01:12:27,000 --> 01:12:28,000
Okay.

1347
01:12:28,000 --> 01:12:33,000
And they couldn't figure out what was going on and then somebody looked into it and said

1348
01:12:33,000 --> 01:12:36,000
okay there is a sea otter rescue in the area.

1349
01:12:36,000 --> 01:12:43,000
So that is probably an otter who was rescued and returned to the wild by humans and it

1350
01:12:43,000 --> 01:12:48,000
is grateful and likes people and it was coming up to show its baby.

1351
01:12:48,000 --> 01:12:52,000
It was coming up to the kayaker saying hi human look at my baby.

1352
01:12:52,000 --> 01:12:54,000
Look at what you did.

1353
01:12:54,000 --> 01:12:57,000
Thank you for saving me and this is my baby.

1354
01:12:57,000 --> 01:12:58,000
I can believe that.

1355
01:12:58,000 --> 01:12:59,000
Yeah.

1356
01:12:59,000 --> 01:13:02,000
See all these critters are smarter than we give them credit for.

1357
01:13:02,000 --> 01:13:08,000
I mean they are not like Disney would have us believe where they are just like people.

1358
01:13:08,000 --> 01:13:16,000
They are smart in the way animals view the world.

1359
01:13:16,000 --> 01:13:17,000
They have limitations.

1360
01:13:17,000 --> 01:13:24,000
They don't care what is happening on the International Space Station and they never buy cryptocurrency.

1361
01:13:24,000 --> 01:13:29,000
But they know gratitude and friendliness and just random acts of kindness.

1362
01:13:29,000 --> 01:13:31,000
No it is true.

1363
01:13:31,000 --> 01:13:32,000
Yeah.

1364
01:13:32,000 --> 01:13:33,000
Yeah.

1365
01:13:33,000 --> 01:13:34,000
You don't have to convince me honey.

1366
01:13:34,000 --> 01:13:36,000
I have seen enough and know enough.

1367
01:13:36,000 --> 01:13:38,000
That is so cool though.

1368
01:13:38,000 --> 01:13:40,000
Yeah that is very cool.

1369
01:13:40,000 --> 01:13:44,000
So I like that story a lot and I love the fact that it didn't just like grab it and

1370
01:13:44,000 --> 01:13:45,000
bring it back up.

1371
01:13:45,000 --> 01:13:46,000
It brought it to the lady.

1372
01:13:46,000 --> 01:13:47,000
Yeah.

1373
01:13:47,000 --> 01:13:49,000
It was kind of like here this is yours I believe.

1374
01:13:49,000 --> 01:13:50,000
Uh huh.

1375
01:13:50,000 --> 01:13:51,000
Yeah isn't that amazing.

1376
01:13:51,000 --> 01:13:52,000
That is neat.

1377
01:13:52,000 --> 01:13:59,000
I have also seen video of a sloth was trying to cross a road.

1378
01:13:59,000 --> 01:14:00,000
Uh huh.

1379
01:14:00,000 --> 01:14:07,000
And a guy picked it up and took it across the road and put it part way up a tree.

1380
01:14:07,000 --> 01:14:13,000
And the sloth turned around to look at the guy and reached his arm out with his claw

1381
01:14:13,000 --> 01:14:14,000
as a thank you.

1382
01:14:14,000 --> 01:14:16,000
And the guy came up and you know bumped it.

1383
01:14:16,000 --> 01:14:18,000
Did a fist bump with the sloth.

1384
01:14:18,000 --> 01:14:20,000
That is pretty damn cool.

1385
01:14:20,000 --> 01:14:21,000
It was saying thank you.

1386
01:14:21,000 --> 01:14:25,000
It knew the guy was helping it and it was thanking the guy.

1387
01:14:25,000 --> 01:14:26,000
That is very cool.

1388
01:14:26,000 --> 01:14:27,000
Yeah.

1389
01:14:27,000 --> 01:14:28,000
I love that.

1390
01:14:28,000 --> 01:14:33,000
And then after a guy's returned the mother sloth had dropped her baby.

1391
01:14:33,000 --> 01:14:36,000
And the guy picked it up and handed it to the mama.

1392
01:14:36,000 --> 01:14:41,000
And she took her baby and then she stuck her paw out for the guy to fist bump.

1393
01:14:41,000 --> 01:14:42,000
Wow.

1394
01:14:42,000 --> 01:14:45,000
She was saying thank you for my baby.

1395
01:14:45,000 --> 01:14:49,000
You know human beings don't always act that good.

1396
01:14:49,000 --> 01:14:51,000
I've got one for you.

1397
01:14:51,000 --> 01:14:54,000
Okay you know Westport right.

1398
01:14:54,000 --> 01:14:58,000
Westport is an entertainment bar district in Kansas City.

1399
01:14:58,000 --> 01:14:59,000
One of the oldest ones.

1400
01:14:59,000 --> 01:15:00,000
Yep.

1401
01:15:00,000 --> 01:15:04,000
Westport was like the original city that was built around here.

1402
01:15:04,000 --> 01:15:06,000
Yeah that was the jumping off point.

1403
01:15:06,000 --> 01:15:08,000
So kind of the last point you could get provisions.

1404
01:15:08,000 --> 01:15:13,000
Yeah and then after that was the big state of Kansas and all the prairie land.

1405
01:15:13,000 --> 01:15:15,000
What they called Indian territory.

1406
01:15:15,000 --> 01:15:18,000
Yeah rough terrain and Indians that would kill you.

1407
01:15:18,000 --> 01:15:19,000
Yep.

1408
01:15:19,000 --> 01:15:21,000
Because you're in their territory.

1409
01:15:21,000 --> 01:15:24,000
You have a history of killing them.

1410
01:15:24,000 --> 01:15:25,000
We were the invaders.

1411
01:15:25,000 --> 01:15:26,000
Yes.

1412
01:15:26,000 --> 01:15:31,000
So Westport was like the last area that you could go there and get provisions.

1413
01:15:31,000 --> 01:15:34,000
And hopefully make it through this terrain that you're going to go through.

1414
01:15:34,000 --> 01:15:38,000
So me I would have stayed on the other side and said that's alright.

1415
01:15:38,000 --> 01:15:40,000
I'll stay over here in Westport.

1416
01:15:40,000 --> 01:15:41,000
Go ahead.

1417
01:15:41,000 --> 01:15:43,000
I don't need to go get killed.

1418
01:15:43,000 --> 01:15:46,000
So anyhow.

1419
01:15:46,000 --> 01:15:48,000
I'm sitting there.

1420
01:15:48,000 --> 01:15:53,000
Okay I'm at Westport and I was going and getting something from somewhere.

1421
01:15:53,000 --> 01:15:56,000
And I'm walking along and all of a sudden a friend of mine calls.

1422
01:15:56,000 --> 01:15:58,000
And they have a lot of stuff going on.

1423
01:15:58,000 --> 01:15:59,000
I'm like okay.

1424
01:15:59,000 --> 01:16:01,000
So I'm sitting there listening and listening.

1425
01:16:01,000 --> 01:16:04,000
And I wasn't thinking fuck this or that.

1426
01:16:04,000 --> 01:16:06,000
Just was like okay this is going to take a bit.

1427
01:16:06,000 --> 01:16:10,000
Because they were really having some emotional stuff going on.

1428
01:16:10,000 --> 01:16:11,000
So I sat down.

1429
01:16:11,000 --> 01:16:14,000
And I sat down on this bench.

1430
01:16:14,000 --> 01:16:16,000
And there's this bookstore.

1431
01:16:16,000 --> 01:16:17,000
This is on Pennsylvania.

1432
01:16:17,000 --> 01:16:18,000
You know Pennsylvania Avenue there?

1433
01:16:18,000 --> 01:16:19,000
Yeah.

1434
01:16:19,000 --> 01:16:20,000
Okay.

1435
01:16:20,000 --> 01:16:22,000
You remember where Californios used to be?

1436
01:16:22,000 --> 01:16:23,000
Californos?

1437
01:16:23,000 --> 01:16:25,000
Not exactly.

1438
01:16:25,000 --> 01:16:26,000
Okay well there's this bookstore.

1439
01:16:26,000 --> 01:16:29,000
There's this little U driveway.

1440
01:16:29,000 --> 01:16:30,000
And you can pull up to Californos.

1441
01:16:30,000 --> 01:16:34,000
Get out and then your car will drive off and go park somewhere else.

1442
01:16:34,000 --> 01:16:35,000
Oh yeah.

1443
01:16:35,000 --> 01:16:36,000
Okay.

1444
01:16:36,000 --> 01:16:40,000
Well at that corner that little U driveway.

1445
01:16:40,000 --> 01:16:42,000
Is a bookstore.

1446
01:16:42,000 --> 01:16:47,000
One end of the U is the back of the bookstore.

1447
01:16:47,000 --> 01:16:50,000
And then the front is the one facing Pennsylvania.

1448
01:16:50,000 --> 01:16:51,000
Oh yeah.

1449
01:16:51,000 --> 01:16:53,000
So I'm sitting out on Pennsylvania sitting there.

1450
01:16:53,000 --> 01:16:59,000
And all of a sudden I see this little one squirrel walk up to the back door.

1451
01:16:59,000 --> 01:17:01,000
Looks up and down.

1452
01:17:01,000 --> 01:17:03,000
And goes.

1453
01:17:03,000 --> 01:17:06,000
And I'm like what the fuck.

1454
01:17:06,000 --> 01:17:11,000
I could swear the squirrel is knocking at the door.

1455
01:17:11,000 --> 01:17:13,000
And then it says there a second.

1456
01:17:13,000 --> 01:17:15,000
Then knocks again.

1457
01:17:15,000 --> 01:17:16,000
Oh my god.

1458
01:17:16,000 --> 01:17:18,000
And I'm like what the hell.

1459
01:17:18,000 --> 01:17:22,000
And also this lady opens up the door and gives him a couple of peanuts.

1460
01:17:22,000 --> 01:17:24,000
That's awesome.

1461
01:17:24,000 --> 01:17:25,000
He grabs them, walks off.

1462
01:17:25,000 --> 01:17:26,000
Then a little bit later.

1463
01:17:26,000 --> 01:17:29,000
And I got video of it but man this is years and years ago.

1464
01:17:29,000 --> 01:17:32,000
So I don't know where it's at.

1465
01:17:32,000 --> 01:17:34,000
He did it again.

1466
01:17:34,000 --> 01:17:35,000
And obviously they're talking to my friend.

1467
01:17:35,000 --> 01:17:37,000
And I go hang on, hang on.

1468
01:17:37,000 --> 01:17:38,000
I start giving play by play.

1469
01:17:38,000 --> 01:17:41,000
I'm like there's this little squirrel that's walking up.

1470
01:17:41,000 --> 01:17:43,000
And now it's like knocking on the back door.

1471
01:17:43,000 --> 01:17:44,000
Oh bullshit.

1472
01:17:44,000 --> 01:17:45,000
No really.

1473
01:17:45,000 --> 01:17:46,000
Not kidding man.

1474
01:17:46,000 --> 01:17:47,000
I'm going to take some video.

1475
01:17:47,000 --> 01:17:48,000
I'll send it to you.

1476
01:17:48,000 --> 01:17:50,000
Yeah that's pretty cool.

1477
01:17:50,000 --> 01:17:52,000
So I know animals are really smart.

1478
01:17:52,000 --> 01:17:56,000
And squirrels as small as they are, smart.

1479
01:17:56,000 --> 01:18:01,000
The last house my mom had in Hillsboro.

1480
01:18:01,000 --> 01:18:05,000
She had a dog door at the back of her house.

1481
01:18:05,000 --> 01:18:10,000
And outside the back there was a covered wooden patio.

1482
01:18:10,000 --> 01:18:19,000
And she kept a big bowl of peanuts on a piece of furniture just inside in the dining room.

1483
01:18:19,000 --> 01:18:28,000
And occasionally she'd grab a handful of peanuts, walk over and reach through the dog door and throw them out onto the patio.

1484
01:18:28,000 --> 01:18:31,000
And the squirrels and other birds could come up and get them.

1485
01:18:31,000 --> 01:18:38,000
There was one of the birds that got smart enough to realize that the peanuts were coming from the other side of that dog door.

1486
01:18:38,000 --> 01:18:40,000
And it was a scrub jay.

1487
01:18:40,000 --> 01:18:42,000
They don't have blue jays there.

1488
01:18:42,000 --> 01:18:43,000
They have scrub jays.

1489
01:18:43,000 --> 01:18:46,000
A scrub jay or a stellar jay?

1490
01:18:46,000 --> 01:18:47,000
Scrub jay.

1491
01:18:47,000 --> 01:18:49,000
What is the difference?

1492
01:18:49,000 --> 01:18:53,000
Stellar's jays, I remember those being in the mountains.

1493
01:18:53,000 --> 01:18:58,000
But in Oregon they had scrub jays more than stellar's jays.

1494
01:18:58,000 --> 01:19:02,000
I think stellar's jays have more of a crest.

1495
01:19:02,000 --> 01:19:04,000
The scrub jay doesn't really have any kind of crest.

1496
01:19:04,000 --> 01:19:07,000
It's more of a grayish bird.

1497
01:19:07,000 --> 01:19:08,000
Yeah, grayish.

1498
01:19:08,000 --> 01:19:09,000
It doesn't have the blue one.

1499
01:19:09,000 --> 01:19:10,000
Okay, gotcha.

1500
01:19:10,000 --> 01:19:14,000
I'm just trying to identify what you were talking about.

1501
01:19:14,000 --> 01:19:16,000
Because some people call them different.

1502
01:19:16,000 --> 01:19:20,000
Some people call the stellar jays one and the scrub jays another.

1503
01:19:20,000 --> 01:19:22,000
Anyhow, go ahead.

1504
01:19:22,000 --> 01:19:26,000
They kind of look, color wise, they kind of look like a dove.

1505
01:19:26,000 --> 01:19:29,000
Longer beak.

1506
01:19:29,000 --> 01:19:34,000
But anyway, this scrub jay realized the peanuts were coming from inside that dog door.

1507
01:19:34,000 --> 01:19:45,000
And it got bold enough to where it came in through the dog door, looked around, saw that bowl of peanuts up on that counter or dress or whatever.

1508
01:19:45,000 --> 01:19:51,000
And it flew up there, grabbed a peanut, flew back down and hopped out the dog door.

1509
01:19:51,000 --> 01:19:54,000
And it started doing that on a regular basis.

1510
01:19:54,000 --> 01:19:59,000
Because I was visiting once and I was sitting at the table having some coffee.

1511
01:19:59,000 --> 01:20:03,000
And the bird came in, took a peanut and went back out the dog door and I said,

1512
01:20:03,000 --> 01:20:07,000
Mom, this bird just came in and took a peanut.

1513
01:20:07,000 --> 01:20:09,000
And she said, yeah, I know.

1514
01:20:09,000 --> 01:20:11,000
Wow.

1515
01:20:11,000 --> 01:20:13,000
And the dog didn't care.

1516
01:20:13,000 --> 01:20:15,000
The dog probably thought it was funny.

1517
01:20:15,000 --> 01:20:18,000
She had a cat at the time, but the cat would have been scared of it.

1518
01:20:18,000 --> 01:20:28,000
So the bird was perfectly safe just coming in any time it wanted to and grabbing a peanut.

1519
01:20:28,000 --> 01:20:29,000
Wow.

1520
01:20:29,000 --> 01:20:31,000
That's awesome.

1521
01:20:31,000 --> 01:20:34,000
I enjoy sharing my life with animals.

1522
01:20:34,000 --> 01:20:35,000
I do too.

1523
01:20:35,000 --> 01:20:37,000
Animals are awesome.

1524
01:20:37,000 --> 01:20:39,000
I don't like the rat that was in my garage.

1525
01:20:39,000 --> 01:20:42,000
No, but he's stinking you out now, isn't he?

1526
01:20:42,000 --> 01:20:44,000
Yeah, it's dead.

1527
01:20:44,000 --> 01:20:46,000
I knew it was going to happen to you.

1528
01:20:46,000 --> 01:20:49,000
That motherfucker is going to find a place to go die that you can't get him.

1529
01:20:49,000 --> 01:20:53,000
Yeah, so I have to empty out the garage and find that little rat body.

1530
01:20:53,000 --> 01:20:55,000
Yep, fucking kicking on out of here.

1531
01:20:55,000 --> 01:20:57,000
Yep.

1532
01:20:57,000 --> 01:21:02,000
Well, thanks, Kansas City, Missouri, for your big sewer project and not letting anyone know.

1533
01:21:02,000 --> 01:21:04,000
Driving all the rats out of this.

1534
01:21:04,000 --> 01:21:06,000
Thanks for all the dogs that died from LEPO.

1535
01:21:06,000 --> 01:21:08,000
Yep.

1536
01:21:08,000 --> 01:21:09,000
Thanks for not warning us.

1537
01:21:09,000 --> 01:21:24,000
Yeah, yeah, thanks a lot.

1538
01:21:24,000 --> 01:21:26,000
Hey, where do they go?

1539
01:21:26,000 --> 01:21:28,000
Where are the douchebags?

1540
01:21:28,000 --> 01:21:32,000
Oh my God, someone took a dump in the corner.

1541
01:21:32,000 --> 01:21:34,000
Oh jeez.

1542
01:21:34,000 --> 01:21:35,000
Glad they're gone.

1543
01:21:35,000 --> 01:21:37,000
Let's just hope they don't come back.

1544
01:21:37,000 --> 01:21:39,000
Man, that smells.