WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:02.240 The following program is brought to you by All 00:00:02.240 --> 00:00:07.519 Star Pest Solutions. Call 913 -738 -7827. Ask 00:00:07.519 --> 00:00:12.439 for Joe, the bug guy. Oh my! What am I going 00:00:12.439 --> 00:00:16.120 to do? The cockroach just ran off with my peanut 00:00:16.120 --> 00:00:19.539 butter and jelly sandwich. An army of sugar ants 00:00:19.539 --> 00:00:21.820 pulled a switchblade on me and took my Nikes 00:00:21.820 --> 00:00:28.780 and my wallet. You better call Joe. Who the hell 00:00:28.780 --> 00:00:32.929 is Joe? It's Joe from All Star Pest Solutions. 00:00:34.090 --> 00:00:37.350 Dumbass. Are bugs taking over your house? Ants 00:00:37.350 --> 00:00:39.149 in the kitchen? Spiders in the corners? Something 00:00:39.149 --> 00:00:41.070 crawling around where it shouldn't be? Here's 00:00:41.070 --> 00:00:42.590 the truth. Most companies send out technicians 00:00:42.590 --> 00:00:44.770 with 30 days experience. At All Star Pest Solutions, 00:00:44.969 --> 00:00:47.210 you get over 30 years. That means we don't guess, 00:00:47.329 --> 00:00:49.090 we eliminate the problem. Safe for your family, 00:00:49.170 --> 00:00:52.189 tough on pests, no contracts. Call or text 913 00:00:52.189 --> 00:00:54.990 -738 -STAR for your free inspection today. All 00:00:54.990 --> 00:00:56.869 Star Pest Solutions. Guaranteed service, guaranteed 00:00:56.869 --> 00:01:10.159 results. Here we go. If you plan a me day that 00:01:10.159 --> 00:01:14.340 includes a pedicure and facial, wear socks with 00:01:14.340 --> 00:01:18.780 sandals, use shampoo with tea tree oil and separate 00:01:18.780 --> 00:01:22.680 conditioner for highlights, you refuse vegetables 00:01:22.680 --> 00:01:27.400 that were not properly crisped, you drink zero 00:01:27.400 --> 00:01:32.310 calorie beer, You order a kale salad at a burger 00:01:32.310 --> 00:01:37.010 joint. If you do any or all of these, you're 00:01:37.010 --> 00:01:41.069 most likely a pussy. Hey, you yankers. We often 00:01:41.069 --> 00:01:43.349 think many things are just true because we've 00:01:43.349 --> 00:01:45.810 heard it our whole lives. That's why here at 00:01:45.810 --> 00:01:47.689 Two Douchebags in Microphone, we developed the 00:01:47.689 --> 00:01:51.530 segment, Not True. We investigate and uncover 00:01:51.530 --> 00:01:56.069 the real truths of what happened. We've heard 00:01:56.069 --> 00:01:58.489 for years that Einstein was so intelligent he 00:01:58.489 --> 00:02:01.870 could not figure out how to tie his shoe. The 00:02:01.870 --> 00:02:05.569 fact is, he disliked wearing socks. He would 00:02:05.569 --> 00:02:08.110 put socks over his shoes to avoid tying them. 00:02:08.189 --> 00:02:10.949 He believed tying shoelaces was an incredible 00:02:10.949 --> 00:02:14.870 waste of time. So were Crocs when Einstein needed 00:02:14.870 --> 00:02:17.729 them. This is Joshua Belmont, your food for thought 00:02:17.729 --> 00:02:21.509 man on The Hustle. Today, we need to focus on 00:02:21.509 --> 00:02:24.069 the genius Franklin Harris for inventing the 00:02:24.069 --> 00:02:27.949 jukebox override. Some dumbass puts down a hundred 00:02:27.949 --> 00:02:31.409 on the Melvins to last all night. No worry, thanks 00:02:31.409 --> 00:02:34.710 to Mr. Harris. Just put in a buck a song to override 00:02:34.710 --> 00:02:38.409 shitty music and you can be the hero. Mr. Harris, 00:02:38.550 --> 00:02:41.509 not many stop to admire your fine work, but we 00:02:41.509 --> 00:02:44.449 do here at Two Douchebags and a Microphone. Thank 00:02:44.449 --> 00:02:47.789 you, Mr. Harris, for being a patriotic, great 00:02:47.789 --> 00:03:04.189 human being. When everything is coming your way, 00:03:04.389 --> 00:04:09.039 you're in the wrong line. Hey there, you little 00:04:09.039 --> 00:04:12.580 snack cakes. This is Norwegian's Best Drinks. 00:04:13.280 --> 00:04:15.520 Norwegian Cruise Lime has long been known as 00:04:15.520 --> 00:04:17.199 one of the best drink bakers on the high seas, 00:04:17.240 --> 00:04:19.759 if not the best. In this drink, it's no different. 00:04:19.839 --> 00:04:21.839 It's one of the most popular, and it's really 00:04:21.839 --> 00:04:25.680 good. A smoked peach margarita. It involves one 00:04:25.680 --> 00:04:29.399 ounce of 1800 silver tequila, one half ounce 00:04:29.399 --> 00:04:33.480 of mezcal. a quarter ounce of triple sec, half 00:04:33.480 --> 00:04:36.639 ounce of organic agave, half ounce of peach puree, 00:04:36.879 --> 00:04:39.920 and one half ounces of fresh wine juice. Garnish 00:04:39.920 --> 00:04:43.199 with hibiscus salt on the rim and dried blood 00:04:43.199 --> 00:04:46.699 orange slices on the rim. Add all ingredients 00:04:46.699 --> 00:04:49.540 and shake. And don't be bashful. Shake like nuts. 00:04:49.779 --> 00:04:52.879 And then put it in a glass with crushed ice and 00:04:52.879 --> 00:05:05.980 enjoy. Two douchebags and microphone. I'm Mark 00:05:05.980 --> 00:05:09.079 here in the Kansas City Metroplex at the extreme 00:05:09.079 --> 00:05:16.500 southern tip of at the Talk is Tube studio. And 00:05:16.500 --> 00:05:21.040 I am Rob in Wheatland, Missouri. Home of the 00:05:21.040 --> 00:05:24.639 magnificent Lucas Oil Speedway and Water Track. 00:05:24.839 --> 00:05:27.759 And yes, I'm sitting here listening to cars running 00:05:27.759 --> 00:05:29.879 around the track. You can't hear them, but I 00:05:29.879 --> 00:05:39.519 can. And also home. needs, including sushi and 00:05:39.519 --> 00:05:44.220 a selfie with the three -seater dinosaur in the 00:05:44.220 --> 00:05:47.819 Doug Blythe studio. How the hell does this happen, 00:05:47.920 --> 00:05:50.980 Mark? I've been wanting to cut this back. I don't 00:05:50.980 --> 00:05:54.579 know. I don't get it. We had this chick about 00:05:54.579 --> 00:05:56.939 the sushi. Yeah, the chick writing in about the 00:05:56.939 --> 00:05:59.100 sushi kind of caught me off guard. I'm like, 00:05:59.139 --> 00:06:01.920 wow, okay. Here's the thing. Well, let me catch 00:06:01.920 --> 00:06:10.920 her up on that, by the way. Okay. Okay, she must 00:06:10.920 --> 00:06:13.620 have went through there when they had it. Yeah, 00:06:14.079 --> 00:06:21.379 and it is in the grocery area. Oh, okay, okay. 00:06:21.519 --> 00:06:23.860 That's what she is talking about then. Yeah, 00:06:24.120 --> 00:06:26.639 that's what it is. Shit, I forgot her name. I'm 00:06:26.639 --> 00:06:28.639 sorry. She's from Springfield. I do remember 00:06:28.639 --> 00:06:32.720 that. I want to say Irene. Yeah, that sounds 00:06:32.720 --> 00:06:34.639 about right. I don't know. Irene or something 00:06:34.639 --> 00:06:38.240 like that. Something like that. Yeah. Well, thank 00:06:38.240 --> 00:06:40.480 you, Irene, if that's your name or what your 00:06:40.480 --> 00:06:43.379 name is. I apologize. Thank you for bringing 00:06:43.379 --> 00:06:47.740 that up. And so now we can pimp that, too. Sushi, 00:06:47.939 --> 00:06:50.560 whenever they have it. So there you go. So if 00:06:50.560 --> 00:06:53.240 you don't want a cheeseburger, you don't want 00:06:53.240 --> 00:06:56.060 a beautiful burrito with queso, you can get sushi. 00:06:56.459 --> 00:06:59.540 There you go. Hickamos for everything. Everything. 00:07:00.439 --> 00:07:03.399 And thank you for adding to my introduction. 00:07:04.420 --> 00:07:09.250 Yeah, that's just what he needed. No, thank you 00:07:09.250 --> 00:07:11.689 for writing in. We appreciate it. Springfield, 00:07:11.709 --> 00:07:13.810 Missouri. Yes, I appreciate it. Springfield is 00:07:13.810 --> 00:07:16.649 another large market. I mean, I swear, a lot 00:07:16.649 --> 00:07:19.410 of people listen there. Yeah, and being in Wheatland, 00:07:19.689 --> 00:07:23.089 we're only like an hour away, so there are a 00:07:23.089 --> 00:07:25.490 lot of people that know the Wheatland area. I 00:07:25.490 --> 00:07:27.410 wonder if she's like going to the lake or something 00:07:27.410 --> 00:07:30.649 and goes to Hickamose, or maybe even the track. 00:07:30.930 --> 00:07:33.689 She might go to the track. We have family up 00:07:33.689 --> 00:07:36.730 there. Yeah, write us back. Write us back if 00:07:36.730 --> 00:07:38.509 you're doing something particular or just going 00:07:38.509 --> 00:07:39.910 through. If you're doing something like going 00:07:39.910 --> 00:07:44.269 to Lucas Oil or, you know, or to the lake or 00:07:44.269 --> 00:07:46.889 something or have family, just let us know. That'd 00:07:46.889 --> 00:07:49.509 be great. So, all right. But thank you for writing 00:07:49.509 --> 00:07:52.829 in. Absolutely. Yes. All right. Well, Rob, good 00:07:52.829 --> 00:07:55.569 old Lowe's did it again. You know, the only reason 00:07:55.569 --> 00:07:57.790 I do business with them is because they're a 00:07:57.790 --> 00:07:59.829 mile away and I have my stuff delivered the next 00:07:59.829 --> 00:08:03.180 day. I love that. All right. I'm building a privacy 00:08:03.180 --> 00:08:07.000 fence, you know, like I said before. And me, 00:08:07.120 --> 00:08:11.680 I don't care, man. I walk around with a candy 00:08:11.680 --> 00:08:14.519 stripe fucking thong. I don't care, you know. 00:08:14.620 --> 00:08:17.420 But everyone else seems to care in the household. 00:08:17.720 --> 00:08:20.339 So I had to build it. When I cut down the evergreens 00:08:20.339 --> 00:08:23.720 around half of the pool, they want something. 00:08:23.800 --> 00:08:25.740 But they also want sunlight, so I had to go with 00:08:25.740 --> 00:08:30.170 a four -foot privacy fence. Well, so... um anyhow 00:08:30.170 --> 00:08:32.389 you know i got tired of evergreen needles always 00:08:32.389 --> 00:08:34.690 being in the skimmer basket i always got to clean 00:08:34.690 --> 00:08:37.830 that up so you know those trees finally came 00:08:37.830 --> 00:08:40.049 down this year i took them all down so now i 00:08:40.049 --> 00:08:42.490 got to build this fence so i get the message 00:08:42.490 --> 00:08:45.669 um okay and it says congratulations your order 00:08:45.669 --> 00:08:48.529 has just been delivered so i'm like great so 00:08:48.529 --> 00:08:50.509 i get to start on the fence today i was all happy 00:08:50.509 --> 00:08:53.409 about it i get home and number one it was in 00:08:53.409 --> 00:08:56.009 the driveway even though it was all over my order 00:08:56.009 --> 00:08:59.279 not to place the materials in the driveway Number 00:08:59.279 --> 00:09:01.860 two, they got the 4x4 pressure treated posts, 00:09:02.039 --> 00:09:05.679 the severe weather 2x4s, which is pressure treated 00:09:05.679 --> 00:09:09.440 also. But the dog -eared panels were missing. 00:09:09.600 --> 00:09:13.059 I'm like, hmm, that's interesting. So it said 00:09:13.059 --> 00:09:17.159 your pickup from Lowe's is ready anytime you 00:09:17.159 --> 00:09:19.259 want to come get it. And I'm like, what? Wait 00:09:19.259 --> 00:09:22.820 a minute. Hang on. So you deliver all of it except 00:09:22.820 --> 00:09:25.879 the easiest part of it. The dog -eared panels 00:09:25.879 --> 00:09:28.919 are banded. You know how you band stuff, right? 00:09:29.039 --> 00:09:31.500 They're banded together. They're not that hard 00:09:31.500 --> 00:09:35.039 to handle. And I'm like, what the hell? So I 00:09:35.039 --> 00:09:37.860 go up there, and I print out everything, and 00:09:37.860 --> 00:09:41.600 I go to the lady, you know? And the person, although 00:09:41.600 --> 00:09:44.200 she is nice, she knew nothing, ended up telling 00:09:44.200 --> 00:09:46.539 her, I go, here's a solution in case you're wondering. 00:09:46.970 --> 00:09:50.210 I said, either refund my delivery fee and I'll 00:09:50.210 --> 00:09:53.210 get the dog -eared panels myself or deliver them 00:09:53.210 --> 00:09:55.970 tomorrow, right? Doesn't that sound like a logical 00:09:55.970 --> 00:09:59.629 solution, Rob? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, not that hard. 00:09:59.769 --> 00:10:04.669 Not that hard. Simple. Yep. So after 30 wasted 00:10:04.669 --> 00:10:07.490 minutes, maybe a little bit more, probably more 00:10:07.490 --> 00:10:11.049 like 40, get a manager that can override the 00:10:11.049 --> 00:10:13.909 ticket. I get the panels the next day. And the 00:10:13.909 --> 00:10:17.529 panels are for a four -foot fence, right? Well, 00:10:17.570 --> 00:10:21.730 they gave me six -foot panels. Dog -eared. So, 00:10:21.769 --> 00:10:25.870 I got... You got two extra foot. I know. So, 00:10:25.970 --> 00:10:28.129 I was like, you know what's easier? I'm cutting 00:10:28.129 --> 00:10:31.169 every fucking one of them down. That's what's 00:10:31.169 --> 00:10:34.009 easier than dealing with these morons. I'm just 00:10:34.009 --> 00:10:36.129 cutting two foot off of every one of them, and 00:10:36.129 --> 00:10:38.629 they're going to be four -foot panels, and, you 00:10:38.629 --> 00:10:41.669 know... You gave them six. The other thing is 00:10:41.669 --> 00:10:44.090 they lost money. They're two bucks more. I paid 00:10:44.090 --> 00:10:46.389 for four -foot panels. I did not pay for six 00:10:46.389 --> 00:10:49.230 -foot panels. So I'm just like, all right, dickheads. 00:10:49.450 --> 00:10:52.289 I just cut them all down. So I have four -foot 00:10:52.289 --> 00:10:54.610 panels. And the main thing is I did not have 00:10:54.610 --> 00:10:56.909 to deal with them again. I was like, oh, shh. 00:10:57.350 --> 00:11:00.809 Sometimes you got to do what you got to do. Yeah, 00:11:00.809 --> 00:11:02.789 and I'm sure you've been like that with companies 00:11:02.789 --> 00:11:08.320 like that. Listen, I mean, not... Lowe's, I'm 00:11:08.320 --> 00:11:10.539 not saying that Lowe's are always bad or nothing 00:11:10.539 --> 00:11:12.600 like that. I've had good experiences with them. 00:11:12.620 --> 00:11:15.240 But this one up here seems, listen, I do business 00:11:15.240 --> 00:11:17.379 with them, so it can't be that horrible, okay? 00:11:17.700 --> 00:11:19.820 And I'm not necessarily dogging them. I'm just 00:11:19.820 --> 00:11:21.659 telling you about my experience with them, and 00:11:21.659 --> 00:11:25.580 that's all, you know. And, you know, I mean. 00:11:25.679 --> 00:11:29.379 Right. Well, that goes all the way back. Okay, 00:11:29.500 --> 00:11:32.419 I've been in construction my life, pretty much 00:11:32.419 --> 00:11:37.330 my whole life. I used to do a Pay Less Cash Ways. 00:11:37.429 --> 00:11:42.129 Oh, yeah. You had your good ones. You had your 00:11:42.129 --> 00:11:45.210 bad ones. The one in Grandview was pretty good. 00:11:45.470 --> 00:11:47.450 The one in Grandview seemed to be pretty good. 00:11:47.610 --> 00:11:51.090 Yeah, the one there off on 40th, it was awesome. 00:11:51.509 --> 00:11:57.809 Yeah. Yeah, I actually knew a lot of the employees. 00:11:58.330 --> 00:12:02.230 The one in Kansas City North was horrible. But 00:12:02.230 --> 00:12:04.720 I'll tell you what's going on is, Lowe's and 00:12:04.720 --> 00:12:07.799 all these other places, they just can't get good 00:12:07.799 --> 00:12:13.279 help. That's what the problem is. They need retirees 00:12:13.279 --> 00:12:16.299 like us. Yes, well, that's what... They know 00:12:16.299 --> 00:12:19.299 what we're doing, we just can't do it. That's 00:12:19.299 --> 00:12:23.940 what Westlake, Strasser Hardware, Westlake, those 00:12:23.940 --> 00:12:26.860 little independent places... Those are the ones 00:12:26.860 --> 00:12:30.419 that you go to and you have the retired plumber 00:12:30.419 --> 00:12:33.399 that's in the plumbing area. And you go in there 00:12:33.399 --> 00:12:35.139 and go, hey, I need a T -trap. And he's going, 00:12:35.279 --> 00:12:37.360 oh, okay, what's it for? And then you tell him, 00:12:37.360 --> 00:12:38.919 you go, oh, no, you know what? I got something 00:12:38.919 --> 00:12:40.539 that'll work better. And then a lot of times 00:12:40.539 --> 00:12:41.940 they'll tell you how to do it. They'll be like, 00:12:42.019 --> 00:12:44.440 you know, here, you take this trap and you put 00:12:44.440 --> 00:12:46.559 it here. You got to cut this off. You got to 00:12:46.559 --> 00:12:50.250 cap it off. But if you go Lowe's or... Any of 00:12:50.250 --> 00:12:52.710 the other big box stores, Menards is pretty bad, 00:12:52.750 --> 00:12:55.009 too. And you go in there, and you got someone 00:12:55.009 --> 00:12:59.389 going, I don't know what a T -trap is. Yeah, 00:12:59.389 --> 00:13:01.490 well, that's where they would run people like 00:13:01.490 --> 00:13:04.929 us. Yes. You and I could go in there and dominate, 00:13:05.049 --> 00:13:08.590 but I'll tell you what, I'm not going to go work 00:13:08.590 --> 00:13:10.830 for them, because I'll tell you what, there was 00:13:10.830 --> 00:13:13.090 one guy in electrical at Lowe's that knew what 00:13:13.090 --> 00:13:16.870 he was doing, and everybody went to him for everything, 00:13:17.090 --> 00:13:20.889 because... He could figure it out. He wasn't 00:13:20.889 --> 00:13:23.330 a dumbass. He could figure it out. You go, hey, 00:13:23.389 --> 00:13:27.450 I need some, I don't know, wafer board, and I'm 00:13:27.450 --> 00:13:29.669 going to use it for, I don't know, soundproofing 00:13:29.669 --> 00:13:32.649 or something, right? And he would know a little 00:13:32.649 --> 00:13:34.470 bit about it. He was that kind of guy. He'd be 00:13:34.470 --> 00:13:36.110 like, well, you know, wafer board may not be 00:13:36.110 --> 00:13:38.789 the best. You might want to use a blueboard insulation 00:13:38.789 --> 00:13:40.929 because that takes sound out more, you know. 00:13:41.409 --> 00:13:46.190 And anything that you could present to him, he 00:13:46.190 --> 00:13:49.190 could at least figure a little bit out. He had 00:13:49.190 --> 00:13:53.389 really good problem -solving skills if you went 00:13:53.389 --> 00:13:55.389 in there and asked him something. But the problem 00:13:55.389 --> 00:13:57.690 is, is everybody went to him, and you'd have 00:13:57.690 --> 00:14:00.269 to wait in line to talk to that guy. You'd walk 00:14:00.269 --> 00:14:04.429 by 10 dumbasses to get to him. Oh, yeah, yeah. 00:14:04.710 --> 00:14:09.690 I would not be one of the dumbasses. No, me neither. 00:14:09.789 --> 00:14:12.289 Well, I went to buy Houston hardware on the way 00:14:12.289 --> 00:14:14.909 home to get some stuff that I needed for this 00:14:14.909 --> 00:14:18.090 fence. And the reason is, is because... The guy 00:14:18.090 --> 00:14:21.169 in there, I needed a specific item, and I needed 00:14:21.169 --> 00:14:23.149 to know if they had it, and I needed to know 00:14:23.149 --> 00:14:26.470 what size it is, and I needed to know what kind 00:14:26.470 --> 00:14:29.169 of a bolt to tilt it on, and the guy knew everything 00:14:29.169 --> 00:14:32.730 because he used to do that type of work. And 00:14:32.730 --> 00:14:35.570 that only happens in the small stores like that. 00:14:35.649 --> 00:14:37.710 Those people are smart enough not to go to a 00:14:37.710 --> 00:14:40.370 big box store and get to run around all the time 00:14:40.370 --> 00:14:43.009 with a bunch of people. And that's another thing, 00:14:43.090 --> 00:14:45.509 too. The people that come in there, a lot of 00:14:45.509 --> 00:14:47.820 them are assholes anyhow. You know, they go there 00:14:47.820 --> 00:14:50.240 and go, yeah, I need to know how to do, you know, 00:14:50.279 --> 00:14:53.179 they're just, they're idiots. And it's got, it 00:14:53.179 --> 00:14:55.639 can't be easy dealing with that many idiots in 00:14:55.639 --> 00:14:58.399 a day. If you go to like Houston or Westlake 00:14:58.399 --> 00:15:00.580 or something, there's not that many people in 00:15:00.580 --> 00:15:02.940 line. They can take your time, you know, they 00:15:02.940 --> 00:15:05.519 can take their time explaining it to you. They'll 00:15:05.519 --> 00:15:07.340 get you the right part the first time you have 00:15:07.340 --> 00:15:09.480 to, you don't have to go by, you know, go back 00:15:09.480 --> 00:15:12.899 10 times or nothing like that, so. Anyhow, but 00:15:12.899 --> 00:15:17.480 I've got most of my stuff now. And now I think 00:15:17.480 --> 00:15:20.779 I might rent a stump grinder and take out all 00:15:20.779 --> 00:15:23.700 the stumps. Or, I don't know, I might just dig 00:15:23.700 --> 00:15:26.899 it up and then just cut the stalk off and put 00:15:26.899 --> 00:15:30.500 dirt over it. I don't know. We'll figure it out. 00:15:30.559 --> 00:15:33.059 But what it is, is I don't want a bunch of things 00:15:33.059 --> 00:15:36.059 to trip over just outside the fence. You know 00:15:36.059 --> 00:15:37.919 what I mean? Where the evergreens used to be. 00:15:39.619 --> 00:15:42.639 So, yeah, we'll see. I'll figure it out. Well, 00:15:42.779 --> 00:15:46.720 there were some tense moments after the Artemis 00:15:46.720 --> 00:15:50.899 II launched into space on April 1st. The toilet 00:15:50.899 --> 00:15:54.139 on board was not accepting urine from the astronauts. 00:15:55.440 --> 00:15:57.100 Oh, did you already know that? I heard that. 00:15:57.240 --> 00:16:00.659 Okay. I heard that, yeah. Okay, they saw a blinking 00:16:00.659 --> 00:16:03.440 fault light and reported the issue to NASA colleagues 00:16:03.440 --> 00:16:06.320 who talked them through a plumbing fix that solved 00:16:06.320 --> 00:16:09.139 the issue. Apollo space journeys did not provide 00:16:09.139 --> 00:16:12.100 the luxury of toilets. Earlier astronauts used 00:16:12.100 --> 00:16:15.279 a bag and funnel system and left the bags a waste 00:16:15.279 --> 00:16:21.360 on the moon. Okay, but anyhow. So to be an astronaut, 00:16:21.580 --> 00:16:24.480 you've got to be a jack of all trades. Yes, you 00:16:24.480 --> 00:16:26.740 do, yeah. Oh, remember they were doing repairs? 00:16:26.820 --> 00:16:30.120 What was that? I can't. Like, you know, electrician, 00:16:30.159 --> 00:16:33.299 engineer. Yeah, you've got to be everything. 00:16:33.580 --> 00:16:36.600 And the thing is, it has to be you. Nobody else 00:16:36.600 --> 00:16:39.399 can get up there. Nobody else can do it. Ain't 00:16:39.399 --> 00:16:41.480 nobody there to help you. Yeah, so you're going 00:16:41.480 --> 00:16:43.720 to have to do it yourself. Either that or you're 00:16:43.720 --> 00:16:48.399 fucked. That's why I'm not an astronaut. Yeah, 00:16:48.419 --> 00:16:51.120 me neither. Me neither. Nope. And I have no plans 00:16:51.120 --> 00:16:56.320 on being either. Okay, over 400 ,000 units or 00:16:56.320 --> 00:16:59.940 13 tons of Kit Kat bars were stolen in Europe 00:16:59.940 --> 00:17:03.840 the week of March 23rd, USA Today reported. The 00:17:03.840 --> 00:17:06.220 chocolate -covered wafers were nabbed in transit 00:17:06.220 --> 00:17:09.380 on their way from Italy to Poland. The stolen 00:17:09.380 --> 00:17:11.920 sweets were not the typical log -shaped wafers, 00:17:11.940 --> 00:17:15.400 but special Formula One car -shaped Kit Kat bars. 00:17:15.720 --> 00:17:18.359 Isn't that cool? They're Formula One shaped. 00:17:20.200 --> 00:17:28.619 Okay, I did not hear that. Yeah, they're Formula 00:17:28.619 --> 00:17:31.700 One shape for, you know, for promotion, of course. 00:17:32.319 --> 00:17:35.480 No wonder they got stolen. No, I know. That's 00:17:35.480 --> 00:17:37.140 what I said, too. When I read it, I'm like, shit, 00:17:37.339 --> 00:17:39.519 I wish I was there. I would have grabbed a couple. 00:17:39.559 --> 00:17:44.299 I've been pretty cool. So. The chocolate -covered 00:17:44.299 --> 00:17:46.299 wafers were nabbed in transit on their way from 00:17:46.299 --> 00:17:49.000 Italy to Poland. The stolen sweets were not the 00:17:49.000 --> 00:17:51.799 typical log -shaped wafers, the formula and car 00:17:51.799 --> 00:17:54.579 -shaped Kit Kat bars. The thieves have yet to 00:17:54.579 --> 00:17:57.440 be apprehended, and the candy has not yet been 00:17:57.440 --> 00:18:00.799 recovered. In response, Nestle, the Swiss -based 00:18:00.799 --> 00:18:03.480 company that distributes Kit Kats, launched a 00:18:03.480 --> 00:18:06.960 Kit Kat tracker website on April 1st, and that's 00:18:06.960 --> 00:18:09.509 not an April Fool's joke. Help us find them. 00:18:09.589 --> 00:18:12.690 Use the stolen KitKat tracker Nestle posted on 00:18:12.690 --> 00:18:18.650 X. Consumers can go to the number and they can 00:18:18.650 --> 00:18:21.869 confirm it to be from the stolen batch. It doesn't 00:18:21.869 --> 00:18:25.069 say what they'll receive, though, if they get 00:18:25.069 --> 00:18:29.170 the people caught. So, I don't know. Probably 00:18:29.170 --> 00:18:32.349 a lifetime supply of KitKat. That's what I'm 00:18:32.349 --> 00:18:33.849 thinking. It's going to be something like that. 00:18:33.910 --> 00:18:36.349 Me, I'd be like, you know what? Give me the monetary 00:18:36.349 --> 00:18:39.769 equivalent. And I'll be good with that. Oh, plus 00:18:39.769 --> 00:18:42.890 four or five of the Formula One shape ones, too. 00:18:42.970 --> 00:18:44.990 That way I can have a couple of those. Yeah. 00:18:45.190 --> 00:18:50.569 Yeah. Yeah, I wish I could find those stolen 00:18:50.569 --> 00:18:52.509 chocolates. That'd be pretty fucking cool, wouldn't 00:18:52.509 --> 00:18:56.250 it? Yeah. You walk into work and go, hey, guys, 00:18:56.349 --> 00:18:59.470 guess what I have? And they'll be like, I don't 00:18:59.470 --> 00:19:03.170 know, what, herpes? No, dumbass. I have a... 00:19:04.750 --> 00:19:08.650 I have Formula One shaped Kit Kat bars. You'd 00:19:08.650 --> 00:19:16.170 be the hero, wouldn't you? Yes, but you'd be 00:19:16.170 --> 00:19:21.869 the hero for a little bit. Oh, I'm sure. I'm 00:19:21.869 --> 00:19:24.470 sure. I mean, this is pretty common knowledge. 00:19:24.549 --> 00:19:26.569 I'm pretty sure we're not the only outlet for 00:19:26.569 --> 00:19:33.119 this. No, and I'm talking about if you... turned 00:19:33.119 --> 00:19:35.619 them in, and they gave you some money because 00:19:35.619 --> 00:19:37.500 you requested it, and then I would say, hey, 00:19:37.559 --> 00:19:41.039 I would like five or six of these bars. Oh, yeah. 00:19:41.259 --> 00:19:47.200 Just throw them in, please. A graffiti tagger 00:19:47.200 --> 00:19:50.440 in Bellevue, Washington, was plying their trade 00:19:50.440 --> 00:19:53.240 on March 25th when they tumbled off an overpass 00:19:53.240 --> 00:19:57.740 onto an I -90 ramp. I always wondered. You know, 00:19:57.779 --> 00:20:00.460 you see all these tag artists that go on, I don't 00:20:00.460 --> 00:20:03.960 know, water towers, underneath huge bridges and 00:20:03.960 --> 00:20:05.940 stuff. And I'm like, I'll bet you some of those 00:20:05.940 --> 00:20:09.960 people fall, right? Oh, they got to. Yeah. Well, 00:20:10.039 --> 00:20:13.960 this guy did. So, it was on the I -90 ramp. Como 00:20:13.960 --> 00:20:16.599 TV reported Washington State Patrol said the 00:20:16.599 --> 00:20:19.319 fall happened around 10 .30 p .m. The person 00:20:19.319 --> 00:20:21.279 was taken to a hospital with a possible broken 00:20:21.279 --> 00:20:24.660 leg and facial injuries. WSP did not provide 00:20:24.660 --> 00:20:28.799 details about any pending charges. That's pretty 00:20:28.799 --> 00:20:34.519 cool. Sounds like Kelso on that 70s show. Yeah, 00:20:34.539 --> 00:20:36.380 it does. That's something he'd do. Hey, check 00:20:36.380 --> 00:20:39.200 this out. Boom. You remember that show where 00:20:39.200 --> 00:20:41.700 he fell off and broke his arm? Yeah, yeah. They 00:20:41.700 --> 00:20:45.380 used to go on the water tower and allegedly smoke 00:20:45.380 --> 00:20:48.559 some sort of substance or something like that, 00:20:48.579 --> 00:20:52.160 right? And drink beer. And drink beer, yep. Yeah, 00:20:52.240 --> 00:20:57.049 I remember that. A repo man took off with more 00:20:57.049 --> 00:20:59.829 than what he bargained for on March 27 in Detroit. 00:21:00.970 --> 00:21:14.009 WXYZ TV reported, as he prepared a car for towing, 00:21:14.109 --> 00:21:16.329 he said he looked inside but the windows were 00:21:16.329 --> 00:21:18.549 dark so he didn't see the two -year -old child 00:21:18.549 --> 00:21:24.039 who was sitting in the dark. He said the child 00:21:24.039 --> 00:21:28.000 was covered with a blanket also. Jenny Ligari, 00:21:28.200 --> 00:21:30.900 the owner of the repossessed agency, said the 00:21:30.900 --> 00:21:33.640 driver did his due diligence. He followed protocol 00:21:33.640 --> 00:21:37.079 to a T. The driver was notified about the child 00:21:37.079 --> 00:21:39.680 during the tow and returned the child to their 00:21:39.680 --> 00:21:43.079 mother without incident. Ligari said the driver 00:21:43.079 --> 00:21:45.559 pulled over four or five different times just 00:21:45.559 --> 00:21:50.430 to make sure the kid was okay. That's cool. Well, 00:21:50.549 --> 00:21:53.250 I mean, as for that goes, the person probably 00:21:53.250 --> 00:21:54.869 should not have left their kid in there alone, 00:21:55.089 --> 00:21:58.970 right? Exactly. Yeah, so... That's the mother's 00:21:58.970 --> 00:22:01.450 fault. That is the mother... That's the first 00:22:01.450 --> 00:22:04.210 thing I thought. Yeah. Yep, me too. It's like... 00:22:04.210 --> 00:22:07.549 What's your kid doing in a car? Yeah, that's... 00:22:07.549 --> 00:22:11.009 Yeah. No, that's what I'd be saying, too. It'd 00:22:11.009 --> 00:22:13.289 be like, you know, you probably should have maybe 00:22:13.289 --> 00:22:16.450 not left the kid in there. And you probably should 00:22:16.450 --> 00:22:20.480 have paid your bill, too, dickhead. So... There 00:22:20.480 --> 00:22:25.579 are zombie fish, according to Lake Superior Commission. 00:22:27.059 --> 00:22:29.440 I didn't know they had a commission in Lake Superior, 00:22:29.579 --> 00:22:33.220 but I guess they do. They say that they're a 00:22:33.220 --> 00:22:39.519 fish that appear emaciated, according to the 00:22:39.519 --> 00:22:41.920 Michigan Department of Natural Resources. I don't 00:22:41.920 --> 00:22:44.599 know why. Well, I guess, yeah, Lake Superior 00:22:44.599 --> 00:22:47.099 probably goes over. I guess it does. Okay, well, 00:22:47.180 --> 00:22:50.039 anyhow, they're trying to find out the cause, 00:22:50.140 --> 00:22:53.440 looking at food limitations, disease, impacts 00:22:53.440 --> 00:22:57.559 of sea lamprey, and contaminants as possibilities. 00:22:57.960 --> 00:23:00.460 They're not sure what is causing this zombie 00:23:00.460 --> 00:23:03.720 -like effect on only certain fish, not all of 00:23:03.720 --> 00:23:08.660 them. So, well. I'm thinking it's drugs getting 00:23:08.660 --> 00:23:11.259 flushed out of the drain. Oh, you know what? 00:23:11.400 --> 00:23:14.539 Yeah, someone threw some quaaludes in there and 00:23:14.539 --> 00:23:20.059 they're just fucking snoring. Seriously, I don't 00:23:20.059 --> 00:23:25.160 know how the drug busts were up to that. Well, 00:23:25.180 --> 00:23:28.500 I can't remember. Not too long ago, there was 00:23:28.500 --> 00:23:32.519 a story about high concentration of cocaine in 00:23:32.519 --> 00:23:40.089 some bays. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, I bet you 00:23:40.089 --> 00:23:42.829 it is. I mean, you know, people throw the stuff. 00:23:43.130 --> 00:23:45.390 People would be like taking it on a boat or something 00:23:45.390 --> 00:23:47.930 and they see a, I don't know, a highway patrol 00:23:47.930 --> 00:23:50.549 coming close or something. They throw all the 00:23:50.549 --> 00:23:52.150 shit overboard because they think they're getting 00:23:52.150 --> 00:23:54.750 busted. And then that stuff dissolves into the 00:23:54.750 --> 00:23:57.430 water. The fish get it. The people swimming it 00:23:57.430 --> 00:24:04.700 get it and all that. So, anyhow. Anyhow, that's 00:24:04.700 --> 00:24:08.680 me for my portion of the first part of this. 00:24:08.720 --> 00:24:12.019 So, Rob, let's turn it over to you. Okay, well, 00:24:12.160 --> 00:24:14.640 I'm going to play Terry News right off the bat. 00:24:14.819 --> 00:24:20.599 Oh, we love that. It's kind of a short one, but... 00:24:20.599 --> 00:24:24.680 That's okay. It's fitting. You're going to love 00:24:24.680 --> 00:24:29.259 it. Okay. In a surprising development late Saturday 00:24:29.259 --> 00:24:33.839 afternoon, officials confirmed... that a section 00:24:33.839 --> 00:24:38.000 of party code has been temporarily classified 00:24:38.000 --> 00:24:45.640 as international waters. Huh? According to what 00:24:45.640 --> 00:24:49.940 witnesses described as a highly permitted wrapped 00:24:49.940 --> 00:24:56.720 up situation, the designation reportedly came 00:24:56.720 --> 00:25:00.890 after Multiple votes lost track of which dock 00:25:00.890 --> 00:25:04.710 they originally tied to, prompting confusion 00:25:04.710 --> 00:25:09.170 over jurisdiction, responsibility, and who exactly 00:25:09.170 --> 00:25:15.730 brought the speaker. Okay, for one, back in the 00:25:15.730 --> 00:25:19.390 day, there was no docks tied to. Yeah, that's 00:25:19.390 --> 00:25:25.190 true. How I do that, I will never tell. Authorities 00:25:25.190 --> 00:25:28.930 say the news... new status meets standard lake 00:25:28.930 --> 00:25:33.650 rules may apply within the zone. With one patrol 00:25:33.650 --> 00:25:38.569 officer noting, at a certain point, we just kind 00:25:38.569 --> 00:25:44.509 of let them govern themselves. An officer said 00:25:44.509 --> 00:25:49.410 this. And truly, that's the way it is at Party 00:25:49.410 --> 00:25:54.349 Cove. Because, you know, you only have like one, 00:25:54.410 --> 00:25:57.839 two officers. Yeah. You might go and control 00:25:57.839 --> 00:26:00.880 that party. You know what I mean? No, it's true. 00:26:01.039 --> 00:26:11.220 No, you're right. Early reports indicate a makeshift 00:26:11.220 --> 00:26:15.039 black system has already been established. And 00:26:15.039 --> 00:26:18.420 at least one group has begun issuing wristbands 00:26:18.420 --> 00:26:22.839 for entry. Officials expect the destination to 00:26:22.839 --> 00:26:26.940 remain in effect until Monday. Or until everyone 00:26:26.940 --> 00:26:33.240 collectively decides it's time to go home. So 00:26:33.240 --> 00:26:39.000 I guess this is from here on out. There's a part 00:26:39.000 --> 00:26:41.940 of it that is actually going to be international 00:26:41.940 --> 00:26:47.279 waters. Because cops, there's so many people, 00:26:47.339 --> 00:26:52.200 so much going on. And they only have like one 00:26:52.200 --> 00:26:56.720 or two options they can send out there. You know 00:26:56.720 --> 00:27:02.119 what I mean? With everything else going on around 00:27:02.119 --> 00:27:06.920 the lake. Yeah, I get it. No, I do too. I actually 00:27:06.920 --> 00:27:11.119 think that's a pretty unique idea. Yeah, well, 00:27:11.279 --> 00:27:16.599 yeah, I mean, you can't control them. They're 00:27:16.599 --> 00:27:19.920 in the national waters. Yeah. In the middle of 00:27:19.920 --> 00:27:23.880 the United States. That's crazy. It's interesting. 00:27:26.920 --> 00:27:33.940 Well, I can give you a great example. Aruba, 00:27:33.980 --> 00:27:40.059 for the most part, has cheaper rentals than Lake 00:27:40.059 --> 00:27:43.359 of the Ozarks. Can you believe that? Oh, I believe 00:27:43.359 --> 00:27:48.460 it. Aruba. Aruba is considerably cheaper being 00:27:48.460 --> 00:27:51.759 on the ocean, the Southern Caribbean, than it 00:27:51.759 --> 00:27:55.400 is being on Lake of the Ozarks. Isn't that insane? 00:27:57.909 --> 00:28:00.529 Well, they're getting away with it. The thing 00:28:00.529 --> 00:28:03.170 is, is, I mean, Aruba, you know, it's not like 00:28:03.170 --> 00:28:06.890 a huge party hub. You know, I think the reason 00:28:06.890 --> 00:28:10.589 people pay the outrageous inflated prices at 00:28:10.589 --> 00:28:13.150 Lake of the Ozarks is because of the party atmosphere. 00:28:13.829 --> 00:28:18.089 There's like 200 ,000 people at any given weekend 00:28:18.089 --> 00:28:21.630 during the summer down there just partying. And 00:28:21.630 --> 00:28:23.869 people want to be a part of that. And they know 00:28:23.869 --> 00:28:27.659 this, so they get to inflate the prices. So, 00:28:27.659 --> 00:28:32.420 yeah, that's crazy. Wow. Is that it, Rob? Yeah, 00:28:32.480 --> 00:28:35.619 like I said, that was a quick one. That was a 00:28:35.619 --> 00:28:37.660 good one, though. That's pretty interesting stuff. 00:28:37.839 --> 00:28:41.579 Yeah, it was good, it was quick, but it makes 00:28:41.579 --> 00:28:45.220 a statement. No, it does. Because that part of, 00:28:45.240 --> 00:28:48.660 I mean, part of COVID, like you guys are, it's 00:28:48.660 --> 00:28:53.769 changed code to code. Oh, it's so, yeah, so much. 00:28:53.869 --> 00:28:57.069 But it just keeps getting stronger and stronger. 00:28:57.430 --> 00:28:59.509 You know, when I was like... There's more and 00:28:59.509 --> 00:29:03.369 more people. When I was 22 or 23, I would have 00:29:03.369 --> 00:29:05.349 loved to went down there and just, you know, 00:29:05.369 --> 00:29:07.049 hung out and partied with everybody. Yeah, I 00:29:07.049 --> 00:29:11.210 did. Yeah, I did too. Not a whole lot. That was 00:29:11.210 --> 00:29:15.690 back when it was at the 14 mile mark. Yeah, now 00:29:15.690 --> 00:29:27.849 it's down. The Felicia Carson Bridge. Yes. Officer 00:29:27.849 --> 00:29:30.329 Felicia Carson. And it should be her name. She's 00:29:30.329 --> 00:29:34.630 a hero. Yes. Wow, okay. I didn't realize it went 00:29:34.630 --> 00:29:39.009 that far downstream now. Yeah, no, it's on the... 00:29:39.009 --> 00:29:44.730 Yeah, it's a green -glazed bridge. Uh -huh. On 00:29:44.730 --> 00:29:48.390 the south side, you turn to the right, and it's 00:29:48.390 --> 00:29:52.789 like another mile. Wow. It really went... Yeah, 00:29:52.789 --> 00:29:57.400 it's way... Okay. I would have never known that. 00:29:57.500 --> 00:30:00.059 It used to be mile marker 14. I started going 00:30:00.059 --> 00:30:04.000 to it when it was at the 7. Yes. And then it 00:30:04.000 --> 00:30:08.140 moved to the 14. And it's been down here for 00:30:08.140 --> 00:30:14.539 quite a while. It really has. Uh -huh. Wow. Yeah, 00:30:14.559 --> 00:30:18.559 it's crazy. It's just huge. There is no stopping 00:30:18.559 --> 00:30:22.000 it. No, no. Gosh, no. Nope. There is no stopping 00:30:22.000 --> 00:30:24.680 it. Nope. All right. You want to take our first 00:30:24.680 --> 00:30:27.500 break? And I got a few emails. Hey, my fellow 00:30:27.500 --> 00:30:31.460 heavy breathers. This is Dash Riptide. Your music 00:30:31.460 --> 00:30:35.900 news. Hey, check it out. Iron Maiden finally 00:30:35.900 --> 00:30:37.799 gets nominated for the Rock and Roll Hall of 00:30:37.799 --> 00:30:40.859 Fame. Like it means anything at this point. Blaze 00:30:40.859 --> 00:30:43.319 Bailey has been added to the names to be inducted 00:30:43.319 --> 00:30:46.940 with Maiden if they should get in. And they should. 00:30:47.220 --> 00:30:49.819 It's just 30 years fucking late. That's all. 00:30:50.019 --> 00:30:54.559 Good luck and up the irons, kids. This is Gash 00:30:54.559 --> 00:30:58.059 Riptine, and that was your music news. If it's 00:30:58.059 --> 00:31:00.500 too loud, you probably have ear damage, just 00:31:00.500 --> 00:31:10.480 like me. And now we look in on the adventures 00:31:10.480 --> 00:31:14.619 of the technical explanation guy. Oh, my. Would 00:31:14.619 --> 00:31:18.000 you look at the rightly scattering? It sure is 00:31:18.000 --> 00:31:21.640 brilliant tonight. First off. You're on private 00:31:21.640 --> 00:31:25.319 property. Second, you're in my flower garden. 00:31:25.619 --> 00:31:28.599 Third, if you're talking about the sunset, yes, 00:31:28.880 --> 00:31:32.220 it is stunning. And finally, would you get the 00:31:32.220 --> 00:31:35.140 hell off my property, you annoying fucking bastard? 00:31:36.140 --> 00:31:40.380 Hey, scrotum sacks. This here is Buford T. Rasputin, 00:31:40.500 --> 00:31:43.359 your common sense concierge. Today, we discuss 00:31:43.359 --> 00:31:46.160 the logic behind crime predicting and how this 00:31:46.160 --> 00:31:49.589 system allegedly works. Predictive policing uses 00:31:49.589 --> 00:31:52.130 a combination of advanced statistics, machine 00:31:52.130 --> 00:31:55.690 learning, and AI to predict when and where crimes 00:31:55.690 --> 00:31:58.710 may occur. These data -driven systems analyze 00:31:58.710 --> 00:32:02.170 historical crime reports, social media, and surveillance 00:32:02.170 --> 00:32:05.509 footage to guide police efforts before 911 calls 00:32:05.509 --> 00:32:08.730 are made. This is also known as hotspot policing. 00:32:09.339 --> 00:32:11.119 Now, let's take a look at greater statistics 00:32:11.119 --> 00:32:14.099 in highest crime areas. The violent crimes being 00:32:14.099 --> 00:32:17.180 committed are roughly 80 % criminals with a violent 00:32:17.180 --> 00:32:19.680 crimes record. Instead of attempting to beat 00:32:19.680 --> 00:32:22.259 the criminal to the crime, why don't judges hold 00:32:22.259 --> 00:32:24.759 people accountable and not set violent criminals 00:32:24.759 --> 00:32:27.640 free with a slap on the hand and a sorry won't 00:32:27.640 --> 00:32:30.480 do it again? Possibly investing in children and 00:32:30.480 --> 00:32:32.859 using a revamped school system that will not 00:32:32.859 --> 00:32:35.539 allow troubled youth to disrupt the class. holding 00:32:35.539 --> 00:32:38.019 teachers to a higher level and not being afraid 00:32:38.019 --> 00:32:40.619 of hurting someone's feelings. The best way to 00:32:40.619 --> 00:32:42.819 solve crime is to prevent it from occurring. 00:32:43.119 --> 00:32:45.779 This common sense policy should be the standard. 00:32:45.960 --> 00:32:48.339 Other countries have accomplished this. So should 00:32:48.339 --> 00:32:52.559 we. Two douchebags, a microphone in an effort 00:32:52.559 --> 00:32:57.579 to keep everything fresh. We offer you first 00:32:57.579 --> 00:33:03.019 world problems. Damn it. I can't decide between 00:33:03.019 --> 00:33:07.940 nachos. chili, or wings for the game tonight. 00:33:10.119 --> 00:33:12.779 This is bullshit. I should not have to make decisions 00:33:12.779 --> 00:33:16.299 like this. And now, Deep Thoughts with Mark. 00:33:20.640 --> 00:33:23.920 Okay, so I have a shredded chicken soft taco. 00:33:25.279 --> 00:33:28.579 Now I'm going to lay it flat, open it up, and 00:33:28.579 --> 00:33:30.900 then I'm going to roll it tightly the other way. 00:33:31.599 --> 00:33:36.029 Will it then suddenly become a taquito? Hmm. 00:33:37.529 --> 00:33:45.470 I may never know. Hey, everybody, this is Uncle 00:33:45.470 --> 00:33:48.630 Rob. I'm going to give you some tips for life. 00:33:50.150 --> 00:33:53.609 When you want to save a park bench, but you have 00:33:53.609 --> 00:33:56.170 to come back to it, just carry one paint side, 00:33:56.390 --> 00:34:00.410 and bam, you'll have the bench all year, so when 00:34:00.410 --> 00:34:03.950 you get back... Hey there, my little sorghum 00:34:03.950 --> 00:34:07.990 chewers. It's time for another edition of Dive 00:34:07.990 --> 00:34:15.469 Bar Man Codes. And here we go. Number one, the 00:34:15.469 --> 00:34:18.010 stickier the floor, the stronger the drinks. 00:34:19.409 --> 00:34:23.230 You do not ask what's in the well liquor. You 00:34:23.230 --> 00:34:27.449 accept it. If the bartender calls you hun, you're 00:34:27.449 --> 00:34:34.050 safe. Cash is king. Cards are suspicious. The 00:34:34.050 --> 00:34:36.429 quiet guy at the end of the bar knows everything. 00:34:37.730 --> 00:34:40.550 You're not regulars. You do not ask questions. 00:34:41.110 --> 00:34:45.010 If the jukebox is present, you must be used responsibly. 00:34:46.030 --> 00:34:50.010 Never play more than two songs in a row. Touching 00:34:50.010 --> 00:34:52.610 the jukebox after midnight is a bold move and 00:34:52.610 --> 00:35:04.139 should probably not happen. Two douchebags and 00:35:04.139 --> 00:35:06.000 microphone. I'm Mark here in the Kansas City 00:35:06.000 --> 00:35:12.940 area at the Talk is Cheap studio. And I am Rob 00:35:12.940 --> 00:35:16.500 in Wheatland, Missouri, home of the Magnets at 00:35:16.500 --> 00:35:19.380 Lucas Oil Speedway and Watertrack. And yes, the 00:35:19.380 --> 00:35:21.739 cars are running right now. I can hear them. 00:35:21.860 --> 00:35:26.050 You cannot. Because I have my earphones on. Thank 00:35:26.050 --> 00:35:40.110 you, Rob. We got some emails. You ready for them? 00:35:40.789 --> 00:35:44.489 Yes, I am. All right. Mark, often young people 00:35:44.489 --> 00:35:47.309 work two fast food jobs because of limited hours. 00:35:47.530 --> 00:35:50.769 I bet that... An employee at the burger place 00:35:50.769 --> 00:35:54.050 also works at Burger King and grabbed the crowns 00:35:54.050 --> 00:35:58.809 for fun. Tessa and Olathe. That's as good of 00:35:58.809 --> 00:36:03.889 an explanation as I can get, too. That sounds 00:36:03.889 --> 00:36:09.989 very plausible, I think so. Yeah, I can see that, 00:36:10.070 --> 00:36:12.610 because I know. I used to work two jobs when 00:36:12.610 --> 00:36:15.860 I was younger, too. You know, you don't start 00:36:15.860 --> 00:36:17.619 off making a whole lot of money. That's just 00:36:17.619 --> 00:36:20.579 the way it is. You take meaningful jobs and you 00:36:20.579 --> 00:36:22.820 try to, you know, try to get ahead until you 00:36:22.820 --> 00:36:25.760 can get your niche in life and make more money. 00:36:26.420 --> 00:36:29.039 And so, yeah, that could have been it. You know, 00:36:29.039 --> 00:36:31.400 someone came in from their first job, Burger 00:36:31.400 --> 00:36:33.719 King, and said, hey, look at all these crowns 00:36:33.719 --> 00:36:36.440 I took. And then they sat him on there and then 00:36:36.440 --> 00:36:38.880 the chick at the front was probably like, oh 00:36:38.880 --> 00:36:40.300 shit, I don't want to get anybody in trouble. 00:36:40.539 --> 00:36:43.800 So she's like, I can't comment on that. So although 00:36:43.800 --> 00:36:45.860 it seemed real nefarious, it could have just 00:36:45.860 --> 00:36:48.579 been, I bet you it was something easy like that, 00:36:48.659 --> 00:36:52.559 right? Right. So, all right, Tessa, thank you. 00:36:52.679 --> 00:36:58.820 Good points. Next one. Buford T. Rasputin is 00:36:58.820 --> 00:37:01.699 a great character. Please don't change him. No 00:37:01.699 --> 00:37:04.000 one cares if it's close to Smokey and the Bandit. 00:37:05.940 --> 00:37:09.280 Yeah, I'm still keeping the name, but instead 00:37:09.280 --> 00:37:12.480 of being T, T is going to stand for his middle 00:37:12.480 --> 00:37:16.260 name, which I've decided is going to be Tiberius. 00:37:17.880 --> 00:37:23.260 Buford Tiberius Rasputin. If you don't know where 00:37:23.260 --> 00:37:25.920 that name came from, I suggest you research it. 00:37:27.699 --> 00:37:33.510 So, all right. Hey, guys. Mitch is in the hospital, 00:37:33.570 --> 00:37:36.329 and he asked me to send you this message. He 00:37:36.329 --> 00:37:38.349 is having an operation in the next few days. 00:37:38.530 --> 00:37:41.730 I will keep you informed. Tracy in Westline. 00:37:43.110 --> 00:37:45.869 I sent her a message back, and she never replied. 00:37:46.110 --> 00:37:48.469 I don't know what's wrong with Mitch. I don't 00:37:48.469 --> 00:37:50.469 know anything about it. I mean, I just know what 00:37:50.469 --> 00:37:52.789 she sent. I know he has not been sending emails 00:37:52.789 --> 00:37:58.150 in the last few weeks. Okay. So... Oh, Mitch. 00:37:58.429 --> 00:38:02.219 Mitch, our prayers are with you. Yes, of course. 00:38:02.860 --> 00:38:06.000 So, Mitch, all kidding aside, whatever's wrong 00:38:06.000 --> 00:38:09.260 with you, we want you to get better. You can 00:38:09.260 --> 00:38:11.519 still hate me if you want, but I wish you the 00:38:11.519 --> 00:38:20.159 best. And he doesn't hate me. I've actually spoke 00:38:20.159 --> 00:38:27.099 with him on the phone. It's his gimmick. He's 00:38:27.099 --> 00:38:30.480 like, oh, Rob's the best. It works good. Yeah, 00:38:30.519 --> 00:38:33.019 it does. He brings us a lot of entertainment, 00:38:33.139 --> 00:38:35.440 and we love Mitch. And also, we used to be good 00:38:35.440 --> 00:38:37.239 friends with him, too. I mean, I guess we still 00:38:37.239 --> 00:38:41.059 are. Yeah, we did. Yeah. Yep. Even though I ain't 00:38:41.059 --> 00:38:44.400 seen him in over 40 years, you know. No, I told 00:38:44.400 --> 00:38:46.860 him to send me a picture, but he never did. So, 00:38:46.860 --> 00:38:51.900 anyhow. So, Tracy. In Westline, thank you very 00:38:51.900 --> 00:38:54.119 much for letting us know. Yes, thank you, Tracy. 00:38:54.719 --> 00:38:57.559 I would suppose that Mitch has a Bluetooth in 00:38:57.559 --> 00:39:00.019 the hospital and can listen to us. So, Mitch, 00:39:00.099 --> 00:39:02.000 we love you. We want you to get better soon. 00:39:02.320 --> 00:39:06.420 We hope everything's good. And I pray to God 00:39:06.420 --> 00:39:09.340 you're not in Harrisonville Hospital. Oh, gosh. 00:39:11.219 --> 00:39:15.639 The Harrisonville death camp? Oh, no. I hope 00:39:15.639 --> 00:39:22.829 not. I hope not. as a listener. Yes. It didn't 00:39:22.829 --> 00:39:25.929 say what hospital, so Mitch, we hope you bothered 00:39:25.929 --> 00:39:32.389 to go to a real hospital. Yes. Harrisonville 00:39:32.389 --> 00:39:37.329 Hospital Medical Center is actually just one 00:39:37.329 --> 00:39:40.610 notch above the Golden Valley Death Camp in Clinton, 00:39:40.690 --> 00:39:45.409 Missouri. Just one notch above, not much more. 00:39:46.130 --> 00:39:50.010 If you're wondering, do your research. Yes, yeah. 00:39:50.429 --> 00:39:52.829 All this is allegedly and all that good shit. 00:39:53.389 --> 00:39:57.150 Allegedly, yeah. All right, next one. What happened 00:39:57.150 --> 00:39:59.389 to ass paddlings? You guys used to do them all 00:39:59.389 --> 00:40:03.269 the time, Terry in Pennsylvania. Well, we have 00:40:03.269 --> 00:40:05.909 so many different ideas, and we only have so 00:40:05.909 --> 00:40:09.630 much time. To me, it's good to leave that alone 00:40:09.630 --> 00:40:11.289 for a little bit and then come back to it in 00:40:11.289 --> 00:40:13.250 a little while. We're doing other stuff like 00:40:13.250 --> 00:40:17.559 Buford, Tiberius, Rasputin. the common sense 00:40:17.559 --> 00:40:20.599 concierge, the new guy who I got to reintroduce 00:40:20.599 --> 00:40:24.019 again. I mean, we only have a certain amount 00:40:24.019 --> 00:40:26.639 of time, and I only have a certain amount of 00:40:26.639 --> 00:40:30.179 time to produce this stuff. So sometimes stuff 00:40:30.179 --> 00:40:32.440 gets put on the back burner, but we have not 00:40:32.440 --> 00:40:34.539 forgotten about ass paddling. It is definitely 00:40:34.539 --> 00:40:37.880 coming back. And everything else, like the new 00:40:37.880 --> 00:40:40.840 guy. Let's see, what haven't I done in a while? 00:40:41.039 --> 00:40:44.639 Oh, strange insults from an alien. I have a hundred 00:40:44.639 --> 00:40:47.400 of them. I just haven't got to them yet. You 00:40:47.400 --> 00:40:50.400 know, deep thoughts with Mark. I have a hundred 00:40:50.400 --> 00:40:52.940 of them just sitting right here. I got them printed 00:40:52.940 --> 00:40:55.780 out, but I just have not had time to get it. 00:40:55.900 --> 00:40:59.340 And then a lot of times new ideas take precedent 00:40:59.340 --> 00:41:02.119 over old ideas because you want to keep the show 00:41:02.119 --> 00:41:04.960 going. You want to keep new stuff infused in 00:41:04.960 --> 00:41:08.170 it, and it just makes the show better. The more 00:41:08.170 --> 00:41:10.849 newer things that you introduce, you can always 00:41:10.849 --> 00:41:13.750 bring back the old stuff, either new or rerun 00:41:13.750 --> 00:41:20.210 them. It's a perfect formula. Terry in Pennsylvania, 00:41:20.510 --> 00:41:23.110 thank you very much. Appreciate it. And then 00:41:23.110 --> 00:41:26.989 finally, Rob, will you be willing to help me 00:41:26.989 --> 00:41:29.869 remove a pissed off skunk from my cellar? John 00:41:29.869 --> 00:41:43.369 in Joplin. I think where my trap's at. There 00:41:43.369 --> 00:41:47.670 you go, John. If I can find my trap, well, see, 00:41:47.869 --> 00:41:52.110 I just got married, just moved. Yeah, I got three 00:41:52.110 --> 00:41:56.230 sheds, well, three farms I got stuck in. So, 00:41:56.230 --> 00:41:59.130 yeah, let me find my trap. I'll be right there. 00:42:00.690 --> 00:42:03.710 There you go, John. How far is Joplin from you? 00:42:03.789 --> 00:42:10.760 Three hours? Two hours? Two hours? Two and a 00:42:10.760 --> 00:42:13.719 half, okay. There you go. We can be there in 00:42:13.719 --> 00:42:16.159 two and a half hours. Get rid of that skunk for 00:42:16.159 --> 00:42:21.360 you. All right, that's all. So, Rob, you got 00:42:21.360 --> 00:42:27.099 something for us? Yeah, dude, just give me a 00:42:27.099 --> 00:42:28.900 sec. Okay, no, that's cool. That's the thing 00:42:28.900 --> 00:42:31.860 about having our new show, The Gang Bang. A majority 00:42:31.860 --> 00:42:37.159 of the emails are going to that. I mean... And 00:42:37.159 --> 00:42:40.059 so, I mean, we get a few here, but I mean, that 00:42:40.059 --> 00:42:43.739 show's like just, it took off. Everyone still 00:42:43.739 --> 00:42:46.519 likes this show, but not like they like the gangbang. 00:42:47.519 --> 00:42:49.820 Right, right, right. So we're kind of getting 00:42:49.820 --> 00:42:51.800 like... Well, it's all three of us, you know? 00:42:51.820 --> 00:42:56.340 Yeah. Honestly, I think it adds a little more 00:42:56.340 --> 00:42:59.840 flavor on myself. I know, I do too. That's by 00:42:59.840 --> 00:43:04.360 far and large my favorite show that we do. So... 00:43:04.730 --> 00:43:08.869 Yeah, and the thing is, like I told, I think 00:43:08.869 --> 00:43:10.869 I told you too, but I told Topher, I said, you 00:43:10.869 --> 00:43:13.190 know, because he sent me a message going, dude, 00:43:13.329 --> 00:43:16.349 man, I can't explain how cool this has become. 00:43:16.769 --> 00:43:19.369 And thank you for, you know, kind of being the 00:43:19.369 --> 00:43:21.869 catalyst for all this. And a really nice message. 00:43:21.889 --> 00:43:25.329 I was like, thanks. And I sent back a message. 00:43:25.369 --> 00:43:28.849 I go, this is exactly what I envisioned from 00:43:28.849 --> 00:43:32.630 day one of what we do. This is what I thought 00:43:32.630 --> 00:43:35.469 we should do, and it's been proven right. This 00:43:35.469 --> 00:43:38.070 is the right path that we're taking. The three 00:43:38.070 --> 00:43:40.550 of us getting together and doing our own ideas 00:43:40.550 --> 00:43:45.190 and all that is the perfect mix. I think it is. 00:43:45.449 --> 00:43:48.389 Yeah, it's the secret sauce, and we're all happy 00:43:48.389 --> 00:43:50.610 about it, and we're all on board with it. So 00:43:50.610 --> 00:43:54.010 thank you, everybody. So, all right, Rob, do 00:43:54.010 --> 00:43:57.960 you have your story? Yes, I do. Actually, I got 00:43:57.960 --> 00:44:02.699 more than just a story. Oh, good. Oh, the bag 00:44:02.699 --> 00:44:07.820 of garbage. Yep. Actually, I got two of them 00:44:07.820 --> 00:44:11.659 tonight. Well, I got one for Matt Diaz, a short 00:44:11.659 --> 00:44:15.300 one, a real short one. Cool. But it's a kind 00:44:15.300 --> 00:44:21.880 of cool story. Very cool. Trigulet, Jester Francis 00:44:21.880 --> 00:44:30.039 I, of France, saved his life with his wit. After 00:44:30.039 --> 00:44:33.940 mocking the king's mistress, he was sentenced 00:44:33.940 --> 00:44:42.800 to die and allowed to choose how. He asked to 00:44:42.800 --> 00:44:54.000 die of old age. The king had no answer. The king 00:44:54.000 --> 00:44:56.659 gave him his choice, and he chose old age, so 00:44:56.659 --> 00:45:02.699 guess what? He's got old age. Yeah. That was 00:45:02.699 --> 00:45:05.639 smart taking it, it really was. That's called 00:45:05.639 --> 00:45:11.920 outwitting your opponent. Yeah. Very fucking 00:45:11.920 --> 00:45:16.000 cool. Okay, let's go in for the second grab. 00:45:19.099 --> 00:45:21.760 Uh -oh, it's a bigger piece of paper. Uh -oh. 00:45:30.599 --> 00:45:35.840 Okay. On October 29th, 1963, First Lieutenant 00:45:35.840 --> 00:45:42.519 James Nick Rowe, a 25 -year -old Green Beret 00:45:42.519 --> 00:45:46.039 from Texas, was captured by Viet Cong forces 00:45:46.039 --> 00:45:49.579 during a combat patrol in the Jettles in South 00:45:49.579 --> 00:45:57.239 Vietnam. What followed was 1 ,903 days of hell. 00:45:58.119 --> 00:46:32.719 Okay. Oh. Oh. scribbling poetry, engineering 00:46:32.719 --> 00:46:38.360 calculations, and song lyrics on scraps of paper 00:46:38.360 --> 00:46:42.679 meant for written confessions. He built an imaginary 00:46:42.679 --> 00:46:48.179 resort in his head called the Hacienda del Sol 00:46:48.179 --> 00:46:53.800 just to keep Hulk alive. He outwitted his interrogators 00:46:53.800 --> 00:46:59.809 for years by convincing them that he was a simple 00:46:59.809 --> 00:47:02.909 draftee engineer, not a trained intelligence 00:47:02.909 --> 00:47:07.230 officer. When they finally discovered the truth, 00:47:07.550 --> 00:47:11.789 the Viet Cong sentenced him to death. On New 00:47:11.789 --> 00:47:16.289 Year's Eve 1968, the guards marched him into 00:47:16.289 --> 00:47:20.710 the jungle for execution. American helicopters 00:47:20.710 --> 00:47:25.010 thundered overhead. In that split -second window, 00:47:25.449 --> 00:47:30.159 Rowe shoved a guard to the ground, spread to 00:47:30.159 --> 00:47:33.780 a clearing, and waved his white mosquito netting 00:47:33.780 --> 00:47:38.980 desperately at the sky. Oh, wow. The pilot, Major 00:47:38.980 --> 00:47:42.840 David Thompson, nearly opened fire until he noticed 00:47:42.840 --> 00:47:46.440 something impossible on a Vietnamese man. They 00:47:46.440 --> 00:47:54.039 take full gear. Dude, that would do it. Yeah, 00:47:54.039 --> 00:48:00.639 it would. Especially if you're Well, he landed. 00:48:00.679 --> 00:48:06.480 He pulled Roe aboard. After 62 months, Nick Roe 00:48:06.480 --> 00:48:12.280 was free. But his greatest mission had just begun. 00:48:15.039 --> 00:48:19.179 Roe took everything he had broken other men and 00:48:19.179 --> 00:48:23.860 turned into a shield for future warriors. In 00:48:23.860 --> 00:48:27.980 1981, he was recalled to duty to Designed the 00:48:27.980 --> 00:48:33.000 U .S. Army Survival, Evasion, Resistance, and 00:48:33.000 --> 00:48:43.000 Escape Program. Wow. What a story. One second. 00:48:44.179 --> 00:48:47.960 No, I know you got more going. I'm just commenting. 00:48:48.079 --> 00:48:50.559 Yeah, I have to call. Okay. No, that's fine. 00:48:51.780 --> 00:48:57.800 The training compound. old North Carolina still 00:48:57.800 --> 00:49:01.559 bears his name. He served until the very end. 00:49:01.739 --> 00:49:06.659 On April 21st, 1989, while serving as a military 00:49:06.659 --> 00:49:11.679 advisor for NOAA to the Philippines, he was assassinated 00:49:11.679 --> 00:49:15.579 by communist guerrillas from the New People's 00:49:15.579 --> 00:49:21.760 Army. He was 51 years old. In his memoir, Five 00:49:21.760 --> 00:49:25.840 Years of Freedom, remember that? He wrote what 00:49:25.840 --> 00:49:32.159 captivity had taught him. Survival is a state 00:49:32.159 --> 00:49:36.440 of mind. He didn't just survive. He made sure 00:49:36.440 --> 00:49:39.320 no American warrior would ever face darkness 00:49:39.320 --> 00:49:45.699 unprepared again. Dude, that is awesome. It is. 00:49:45.860 --> 00:49:48.739 And it sucks that he was assassinated. A cheap 00:49:48.739 --> 00:49:54.440 fucking shot. The dude survives all night. two 00:49:54.440 --> 00:50:02.500 months. Fuck. Yeah. That sucks. Alright, you 00:50:02.500 --> 00:50:04.699 want to take our second break and I got a story 00:50:04.699 --> 00:50:08.619 when we come back? Sounds good. Alright, we'll 00:50:08.619 --> 00:50:16.820 be right back. Hey, good kid. No one gives an 00:50:16.820 --> 00:50:19.179 ounce of shit what you had for breakfast. Not 00:50:19.179 --> 00:50:21.639 even the person on the other end. You look like 00:50:21.639 --> 00:50:24.179 a mentally slow driv yelling into thin air all 00:50:24.179 --> 00:50:26.619 through the store. I pray that Bluetooth shorts 00:50:26.619 --> 00:50:29.539 out and blows up your eardrums. What men consider 00:50:29.539 --> 00:50:32.539 self -centered dunce. Monty constantly coddled 00:50:32.539 --> 00:50:34.820 this dummy and it fucking shows. Go look back 00:50:34.820 --> 00:50:37.420 home and bore your dog. Wait, you probably forgot 00:50:37.420 --> 00:50:39.340 the theming because you're too busy looking in 00:50:39.340 --> 00:50:43.300 the mirror all day. Fuck off. Our constant pursuit 00:50:43.300 --> 00:50:47.059 for a real knee slapper. It's strange insults 00:50:47.059 --> 00:50:50.980 from an alien. Real hilarity. You are dressed 00:50:50.980 --> 00:50:55.179 like an assistant debate coach at an Ohio State 00:50:55.179 --> 00:50:59.579 middle school. Hey, peeps, it's time for the 00:50:59.579 --> 00:51:03.500 police blotter. That's right. Stories about stupid 00:51:03.500 --> 00:51:08.039 criminals and the dumb assness that ensued. Let 00:51:08.039 --> 00:51:14.219 us begin now. In September 2025, a Canadian man 00:51:14.219 --> 00:51:17.639 was arrested for DUI while attempting to drive 00:51:17.639 --> 00:51:20.960 a Barbie Jeep. Not only did the scaled -down 00:51:20.960 --> 00:51:24.400 Jeep stand out, not it would only go five miles 00:51:24.400 --> 00:51:28.440 an hour. The police chase ended quickly. The 00:51:28.440 --> 00:51:31.579 subject, George Fizzulli, did not get his six 00:51:31.579 --> 00:51:35.679 -pack. Bit did get a free Uber ride with lights 00:51:35.679 --> 00:51:39.369 a -flashing straight to jail. Since the dawn 00:51:39.369 --> 00:51:42.369 of time, weird shit has happened. Strange occurrences, 00:51:42.510 --> 00:51:45.690 unexplained phobias, and other odd happenings. 00:51:45.710 --> 00:51:47.809 Over the next minute, we would like to bring 00:51:47.809 --> 00:51:51.969 you odd, rare phobias and conditions. Kepras 00:51:51.969 --> 00:51:54.769 syndrome, or the delusion of doubles, is a rare 00:51:54.769 --> 00:51:57.449 condition where a person falsely believes a familiar 00:51:57.449 --> 00:52:01.010 individual, like a spouse or family member, has 00:52:01.010 --> 00:52:03.630 been replaced by an identical -looking imposter 00:52:03.630 --> 00:52:07.630 or duplicate. It's a type of delusional misidentification 00:52:07.630 --> 00:52:10.429 syndrome often linked to underlying brain issues 00:52:10.429 --> 00:52:13.250 or psychiatric conditions, including schizophrenia, 00:52:13.670 --> 00:52:18.110 dementia, with Lewy body, brain injury, or bipolar 00:52:18.110 --> 00:52:20.769 disorder, resulting from a disconnect between 00:52:20.769 --> 00:52:24.250 face recognition and emotional processing. Treatment 00:52:24.250 --> 00:52:27.429 focuses on managing the underlying disorder with 00:52:27.429 --> 00:52:30.510 different forms of therapy and address an associated 00:52:30.510 --> 00:52:34.760 symptoms like anxiety. People often ask, how 00:52:34.760 --> 00:52:37.039 do we cram so much funny into one little show? 00:52:37.639 --> 00:52:40.960 Well, it's simple. We buy funny in bulk on the 00:52:40.960 --> 00:52:43.940 Internet. Hey, Mark, you're wanted at the front 00:52:43.940 --> 00:52:46.239 door. There's a big bag of funny they need you 00:52:46.239 --> 00:52:49.679 to sign for. Okay, thanks a lot. I'll be right 00:52:49.679 --> 00:52:51.579 there. I'm still sorting out the funny we got 00:52:51.579 --> 00:52:54.420 from yesterday. There's your answer. We buy funny 00:52:54.420 --> 00:52:57.659 in bulk on the Internet. Hey, my fellow heavy 00:52:57.659 --> 00:53:01.800 breeders, this is Dash Riptide, your music news. 00:53:03.880 --> 00:53:08.280 Metal band Slayer fans unite. Your boys and Slayer 00:53:08.280 --> 00:53:11.739 have a new hot sauce named Rain and Blood. This 00:53:11.739 --> 00:53:15.360 sauce's heat meter is off the hook. So use with 00:53:15.360 --> 00:53:18.980 caution or be a dick and put it on your buddy's 00:53:18.980 --> 00:53:23.699 sandwich. Maybe not. This is Gash Rooktine and 00:53:23.699 --> 00:53:27.300 that was your music news. If it's too loud, you 00:53:27.300 --> 00:53:47.190 probably have ear damage just like me. Two deuce 00:53:47.190 --> 00:53:49.210 bags, a microphone. I'm Mark here in the Kansas 00:53:49.210 --> 00:53:55.769 City vicinity at the Talkies Cheap Studio. And 00:53:55.769 --> 00:54:00.389 I am Rob in Wheatland, Missouri, home of the 00:54:00.389 --> 00:54:02.989 Pack Nips at Lucas Hall Speedway and Mark Track, 00:54:03.030 --> 00:54:05.489 and also home of the Wicca Mocha store, where 00:54:05.489 --> 00:54:07.969 you can find all your needs, including a selfie 00:54:07.969 --> 00:54:11.690 with a green Sinclair dinosaur in their duck 00:54:11.690 --> 00:54:18.079 boy in the studio. Thank you, Rob. To anybody 00:54:18.079 --> 00:54:21.639 that is planning to fly through Tampa International 00:54:21.639 --> 00:54:25.159 Airport anytime soon, better put on your best... 00:54:25.159 --> 00:54:29.199 Oh, is that what the story you're talking about 00:54:29.199 --> 00:54:35.840 is coming from? Okay. So you better put on your 00:54:35.840 --> 00:54:38.329 best studs if you go through there. The airport 00:54:38.329 --> 00:54:42.289 announced on X on February 26 that pajamas would 00:54:42.289 --> 00:54:45.429 no longer be tolerated at the facility, Fox News 00:54:45.429 --> 00:54:49.389 reported. We've seen enough. We've had enough. 00:54:49.590 --> 00:54:51.849 It's time to ban pajamas at Tampa International 00:54:51.849 --> 00:54:54.909 Airport, the Post read. As it turned out, however, 00:54:55.210 --> 00:54:58.230 Tampa was just kidding or maybe testing the water. 00:54:58.389 --> 00:55:00.829 An airport statement said they regularly share 00:55:00.829 --> 00:55:04.110 lighthearted, satirical social media content 00:55:07.449 --> 00:55:12.989 day of travel fashion debates. I'm kind of with 00:55:12.989 --> 00:55:16.010 this article. I think they threw that out there 00:55:16.010 --> 00:55:19.469 to see if people would be outraged or not, right? 00:55:22.090 --> 00:55:25.550 Because a lot of people do wear pajamas. And 00:55:25.550 --> 00:55:27.670 I think the reason is because they don't want 00:55:27.670 --> 00:55:29.630 to take off a bunch of stuff to get through security. 00:55:31.529 --> 00:55:35.849 And, I mean, I don't care. I mean, I think it 00:55:35.849 --> 00:55:37.909 looks slobbish, and it looks like you don't care 00:55:37.909 --> 00:55:41.269 about yourself. But if people want to wear them, 00:55:41.349 --> 00:55:43.329 I don't think you can necessarily really want 00:55:43.329 --> 00:55:46.610 to ban them, but we'll see. So, anyhow, that 00:55:46.610 --> 00:55:49.010 was the end of that story. That was just like 00:55:49.010 --> 00:55:53.750 a little blip or whatever. Blip. So, all right, 00:55:53.750 --> 00:55:58.539 Rob, let's turn it over to you. Okay. That's 00:55:58.539 --> 00:56:00.519 why I started laughing. This story comes out 00:56:00.519 --> 00:56:04.219 of Tampa, Florida also. All right. That's one 00:56:04.219 --> 00:56:11.519 of these stupid criminals. Yep. A 44 -year -old 00:56:11.519 --> 00:56:15.260 Hillsborough County man is facing DUI charges 00:56:15.260 --> 00:56:21.360 after presenting spying officers with legal defense 00:56:21.360 --> 00:56:24.300 built entirely around the autopilot capabilities. 00:56:29.789 --> 00:56:45.090 Okay. Yeah, 2019. 2019, okay. Yeah. Well, this 00:56:45.090 --> 00:56:51.969 guy thought it did. Randy Kalczyk, 44, was pulled 00:56:51.969 --> 00:56:56.579 over on Dale... Marbury. Del Mabry. Highway. 00:56:56.840 --> 00:57:00.400 Yeah, highway. Uh -huh. A train deputy observed 00:57:00.400 --> 00:57:03.800 this truck drifting across two lanes at a speed 00:57:03.800 --> 00:57:10.199 described in the report as unhurried. Upon approach, 00:57:10.440 --> 00:57:14.179 the deputy noted that an open container, a smell 00:57:14.179 --> 00:57:18.619 consistent with the open container, and a driver 00:57:18.619 --> 00:57:21.260 who appeared generally tall, that he had done 00:57:21.260 --> 00:57:26.090 nothing wrong. Randy told Debbie he had done 00:57:26.090 --> 00:57:28.329 nothing wrong. According to the arrest report, 00:57:28.670 --> 00:57:32.949 Randy's defense included, they claimed that the 00:57:32.949 --> 00:57:36.409 vehicle had been operating in self -drive mode 00:57:36.409 --> 00:57:41.829 for the majority of the trip. On a 92? Okay. 00:57:42.630 --> 00:57:47.489 It was a 2019. 2019. What am I saying, 92? I'm 00:57:47.489 --> 00:57:50.369 sorry, I knew you said 2019. Yeah, might as well 00:57:50.369 --> 00:57:57.179 be. Yeah, yep. Request that the deputy look up 00:57:57.179 --> 00:58:00.519 the truck's features before making any decisions. 00:58:03.699 --> 00:58:07.880 Yeah, like we were saying. He wants the cop to 00:58:07.880 --> 00:58:14.579 look up that it has autopilot capability. A verbal 00:58:14.579 --> 00:58:17.860 disclaimer that he had his hands near the wheel 00:58:17.860 --> 00:58:39.440 the entire time in a supervisory capacity. Okay. 00:58:43.420 --> 00:58:50.119 Okay. Even if it did have autopilot, which I'm 00:58:50.119 --> 00:58:55.949 certain it did not in a 2019 Ford. Okay. The 00:58:55.949 --> 00:59:00.429 law states this. Being behind the wheel, it doesn't 00:59:00.429 --> 00:59:03.389 even have to be started. If you're behind the 00:59:03.389 --> 00:59:06.110 wheel and the keys are in your pocket or somewhere 00:59:06.110 --> 00:59:09.349 in the vehicle and you're behind the wheel, stopped 00:59:09.349 --> 00:59:15.650 or in motion, that is a DUI. Okay? So, it may 00:59:15.650 --> 00:59:18.190 be on autopilot, but he's still behind the wheel 00:59:18.190 --> 00:59:22.429 in a moving vehicle. Therefore, he should get 00:59:22.429 --> 00:59:25.130 a DUI like they said. What do you think, Rob? 00:59:25.969 --> 00:59:29.929 Oh, I totally agree. Yeah. The guy's reaching. 00:59:32.070 --> 00:59:35.429 Well, there was also a request to speak with 00:59:35.429 --> 00:59:39.130 someone familiar with emerging automotive technology. 00:59:42.369 --> 00:59:48.610 He went that far. Wow. The deputy was familiar 00:59:48.610 --> 00:59:52.570 with the truck model. He did not have autopilot. 00:59:53.260 --> 00:59:58.380 Randy said that that was the manufacturer's fault 00:59:58.380 --> 01:00:05.900 and should be taken up separately. Okay. He was 01:00:05.900 --> 01:00:08.800 charged with DUI, open container, and failure 01:00:08.800 --> 01:00:12.000 to maintain the lane. The truck was impounded. 01:00:12.260 --> 01:00:16.000 Ford Motor Company declined to comment. The truck 01:00:16.000 --> 01:00:23.619 does not support Randy's account. Yeah. Yeah. 01:00:24.000 --> 01:00:27.340 I think that's a pretty open and shut case right 01:00:27.340 --> 01:00:32.320 there myself. Yeah. I'm like you. I agree. Yeah. 01:00:32.360 --> 01:00:36.639 If you have autopilot and you're using it, you 01:00:36.639 --> 01:00:41.480 should still not be drinking. Yeah. Because there's 01:00:41.480 --> 01:00:43.320 times you're going to have to take over that 01:00:43.320 --> 01:00:47.699 autopilot. Yep. Yeah. Well, that's the whole 01:00:47.699 --> 01:00:51.599 idea. And also, the law does state, like I said, 01:00:51.980 --> 01:00:55.900 If you're behind the wheel and you're intoxicated, 01:00:55.900 --> 01:00:58.360 it doesn't matter whether you're in motion or 01:00:58.360 --> 01:01:01.860 not. He happened to be in motion because the 01:01:01.860 --> 01:01:06.239 truck was going. You're getting a DUI. And ignorance 01:01:06.239 --> 01:01:09.880 is no excuse for the law. That's one of the first 01:01:09.880 --> 01:01:11.940 things they always tell you. It doesn't matter 01:01:11.940 --> 01:01:15.880 if you didn't know. It's your job to know. So, 01:01:16.059 --> 01:01:28.210 okay. Yeah. Yep. Oh, I need to address something 01:01:28.210 --> 01:01:31.710 real quick. I had a couple. Now, I didn't print 01:01:31.710 --> 01:01:34.130 those emails out because those are ones that 01:01:34.130 --> 01:01:37.210 can be easily handled right here in -house. Just, 01:01:37.349 --> 01:01:41.690 you know, really quick telling you. And, you 01:01:41.690 --> 01:01:46.210 know, I may send them a quick message, too. The 01:01:46.210 --> 01:01:48.630 same thing I'm going to say here. We are not 01:01:48.630 --> 01:01:51.800 quitting the city market. We are just simply 01:01:51.800 --> 01:01:53.619 going to a different place for a little while 01:01:53.619 --> 01:01:57.880 because we want to move around. So yeah, so the 01:01:57.880 --> 01:02:01.960 people that want us at the city market or like 01:02:01.960 --> 01:02:04.880 us being there, we'll be back. We still love 01:02:04.880 --> 01:02:07.619 that place. Everybody over there is still magnificent, 01:02:08.000 --> 01:02:11.860 just perfect with us. And we love the area. We 01:02:11.860 --> 01:02:13.679 love the people walking through and all that. 01:02:14.159 --> 01:02:16.880 So Topher and I have not quit going to the city 01:02:16.880 --> 01:02:19.940 market. We're just simply just, you know, spicing 01:02:19.940 --> 01:02:22.440 it up a little bit. Rock Island Bridge is like, 01:02:22.500 --> 01:02:26.920 it's the first of a kind entertainment bridge 01:02:26.920 --> 01:02:30.719 in the world. And it just opened up, and it's 01:02:30.719 --> 01:02:32.840 a cool place. And we're going to do that for 01:02:32.840 --> 01:02:34.239 a little while, but we'll go back to the city 01:02:34.239 --> 01:02:36.500 market. We'll probably do about half and half 01:02:36.500 --> 01:02:39.260 when it's all said and done. So, no, we're not 01:02:39.260 --> 01:02:41.659 ditching the city market. So, you know, guys, 01:02:41.800 --> 01:02:46.639 you know... If you want to come by and see us, 01:02:46.659 --> 01:02:49.280 go by the bridge. It's only two miles from the 01:02:49.280 --> 01:02:52.440 city market. So you're not having to travel a 01:02:52.440 --> 01:02:54.579 long ways. So if you're going to go down to the 01:02:54.579 --> 01:02:57.059 city market to see us, then go down to the Rock 01:02:57.059 --> 01:03:00.519 Island Bridge and see us. And you can ask anybody 01:03:00.519 --> 01:03:02.440 there. They all know us now. They go, hey, where's 01:03:02.440 --> 01:03:05.739 that podcast at? Where's that douchebag podcast? 01:03:06.079 --> 01:03:07.300 And they'll tell you right where we're at that 01:03:07.300 --> 01:03:12.579 day. River House is a really good bar restaurant 01:03:12.579 --> 01:03:15.260 that they have there. There's more coming. There's 01:03:15.260 --> 01:03:17.440 going to be a lot more businesses there. They 01:03:17.440 --> 01:03:20.159 have the American Royal Hall on top. And, of 01:03:20.159 --> 01:03:23.980 course, everybody at the City Market from City 01:03:23.980 --> 01:03:27.539 Market Coffee, Carollo's, Hibachi House, all 01:03:27.539 --> 01:03:30.559 of the places over there. You have Enzo down 01:03:30.559 --> 01:03:34.340 the street, Brown and Lowe. There are so many. 01:03:34.579 --> 01:03:38.760 The Opry House. All of those places are fantastic 01:03:38.760 --> 01:03:41.400 places to eat. And that's just not mentioning 01:03:41.400 --> 01:03:46.980 all the ones up on Delaware, up on Delaware on 01:03:46.980 --> 01:03:53.269 the hill. There's El Mazuron Pizza. the farmhouse, 01:03:53.429 --> 01:03:56.130 all those places are great places. So we're not 01:03:56.130 --> 01:03:59.710 giving up on one and hopping to another. We simply, 01:03:59.789 --> 01:04:02.230 we are trying to serve both areas because they're 01:04:02.230 --> 01:04:04.929 both great places in Kansas City. So anyhow, 01:04:05.050 --> 01:04:08.150 Rob, you got something? Or it's almost nine o 01:04:08.150 --> 01:04:10.730 'clock and I have stuff I have to do and you 01:04:10.730 --> 01:04:14.260 do too. So do you want to? Okay. All right. Well, 01:04:14.320 --> 01:04:17.219 we're going to go ahead and cut this. By the 01:04:17.219 --> 01:04:19.219 time I get it done, it'll be well over an hour, 01:04:19.280 --> 01:04:21.300 because I'm going to throw in an old segment. 01:04:21.320 --> 01:04:22.719 I'm kind of going through them, and I'm going 01:04:22.719 --> 01:04:26.079 to find something unique to throw in here. And 01:04:26.079 --> 01:04:30.239 we promise we will be back Sunday night with 01:04:30.239 --> 01:04:34.219 Toad. Yes, we will, for the gangbang. And also, 01:04:34.440 --> 01:04:36.920 what I just said, everybody that's writing in 01:04:36.920 --> 01:04:39.139 and concerned about whether we're going to the 01:04:39.139 --> 01:04:41.280 city of America, we appreciate it. I'm not bitching 01:04:41.280 --> 01:04:43.260 at you guys. I'm just letting you know what's 01:04:43.260 --> 01:04:46.460 going on. That's all. So we will be back there. 01:04:46.679 --> 01:04:50.219 And we still love the place. And all the businesses 01:04:50.219 --> 01:04:53.000 that have supported us from day one welcomed 01:04:53.000 --> 01:04:57.820 us. So anyhow, everybody, thank you for listening. 01:04:58.159 --> 01:05:04.599 Have a great night. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I want to 01:05:04.599 --> 01:05:11.519 thank everybody for viewing our Facebook and 01:05:11.519 --> 01:05:16.659 showing Mark the numbers. We're getting 30, 50 01:05:16.659 --> 01:05:39.110 -some a day. Yeah. viewership. 22 % were friends 01:05:39.110 --> 01:05:45.409 on my friends list. 78 % were not. Thank you, 01:05:45.429 --> 01:05:51.750 everybody. Seriously, thank you. We're going 01:05:51.750 --> 01:05:55.610 to start adding more and more to Facebook. I 01:05:55.610 --> 01:06:08.400 have a picture of my new chainsaw called And 01:06:08.400 --> 01:06:10.300 you know what? While we're talking about stuff 01:06:10.300 --> 01:06:12.519 coming up, I'm also going to tell people this. 01:06:13.619 --> 01:06:17.280 I have a good friend that is a web designer, 01:06:17.480 --> 01:06:22.639 and this particular person can help me or do 01:06:22.639 --> 01:06:27.139 it themselves. They love the show, and they'll 01:06:27.139 --> 01:06:29.219 do it for a discount rate. He's trying to do 01:06:29.219 --> 01:06:31.239 it for free, and I said, no, I'm going to pay 01:06:31.239 --> 01:06:34.019 you. But we are going to come up with a website, 01:06:34.280 --> 01:06:37.099 an actual website, and we're going to have all 01:06:37.099 --> 01:06:41.280 our episodes there because people are not happy 01:06:41.280 --> 01:06:44.360 because a lot of... Amazon, I think, is what 01:06:44.360 --> 01:06:47.619 that one person said, has them all. But not all 01:06:47.619 --> 01:06:50.679 of the services carry all of our seasons. So 01:06:50.679 --> 01:06:52.400 you can't go all the way back to number one, 01:06:52.559 --> 01:06:56.739 season one. Yes. They just don't have the space, 01:06:56.860 --> 01:06:59.000 and I know they have millions of other podcasters, 01:06:59.000 --> 01:07:02.019 so that's understood, and it's not a gripe. So 01:07:02.019 --> 01:07:04.340 simply what I'm saying is we're going to have 01:07:04.340 --> 01:07:07.920 a website, and we're going to start cross -promoting 01:07:07.920 --> 01:07:10.739 them to other things because there's some really 01:07:10.739 --> 01:07:12.940 unique features that I can take advantage of 01:07:12.940 --> 01:07:17.239 now, not only on rss .com, but a couple of other 01:07:17.239 --> 01:07:20.980 entities that we use too, and it's kind of like 01:07:20.980 --> 01:07:23.610 networking. One podcast looks over and goes, 01:07:23.670 --> 01:07:26.210 hey, what are you guys' name? Two douchebags. 01:07:26.309 --> 01:07:30.289 Okay, well, we're this, you know, we're two dumb 01:07:30.289 --> 01:07:33.130 shits in the woods or something, right? And the 01:07:33.130 --> 01:07:36.489 thing is, you can cross -promote them on your 01:07:36.489 --> 01:07:39.409 websites. You can cross -promote them on the 01:07:39.409 --> 01:07:43.730 actual show. I mean, it's a really good deal. 01:07:44.869 --> 01:07:49.840 And so, anyhow, thank you, everybody. We appreciate 01:07:49.840 --> 01:07:52.800 your listenership, and it is booming, just like 01:07:52.800 --> 01:07:57.059 the numbers on Facebook. It's booming, and we 01:07:57.059 --> 01:08:00.440 really appreciate it, and we feel that it's deservingly 01:08:00.440 --> 01:08:03.159 so. Before, we didn't want to get too big too 01:08:03.159 --> 01:08:07.739 soon because we didn't feel we were ready. Agreed, 01:08:07.739 --> 01:08:11.099 Rob? We were getting closer, but now with this 01:08:11.099 --> 01:08:13.780 new show and the show that happens at the Rock 01:08:13.780 --> 01:08:16.079 Island Bridge or City Market and then this show. 01:08:16.720 --> 01:08:22.359 We are putting things together. Yes. I've got 01:08:22.359 --> 01:08:26.300 some new tools. So now we have parody songs. 01:08:27.619 --> 01:08:32.060 Did you hear the new one about me pissing to 01:08:32.060 --> 01:08:35.140 the right at night? No, I have not heard that 01:08:35.140 --> 01:08:40.060 yet. Okay. It's good. It's really good. It's 01:08:40.060 --> 01:08:42.960 based on a true story. I like to leave the light 01:08:42.960 --> 01:08:44.880 off when I go to the bathroom at night so I don't 01:08:44.880 --> 01:08:48.220 wake anybody up, right? I was saying, oh, people, 01:08:48.439 --> 01:08:54.460 okay. Oh, no, no, no. Or the morning, the morning. 01:08:55.600 --> 01:08:59.800 Yeah. And the morning would that, you know, that, 01:08:59.920 --> 01:09:01.880 that'll make you go crazy too. You know, it's 01:09:01.880 --> 01:09:04.739 like, damn it. Where am I? I'm aimed this way. 01:09:04.800 --> 01:09:06.779 How come it's going up on the ceiling? This is 01:09:06.779 --> 01:09:10.829 bullshit. Oh, yeah. It's all kinds of crazy. 01:09:11.069 --> 01:09:13.949 So it's like, I don't understand it, you know? 01:09:14.449 --> 01:09:17.510 My boner's aimed right at the damn stool. How 01:09:17.510 --> 01:09:20.510 come piss is going everywhere else? I don't know. 01:09:20.609 --> 01:09:23.529 It's one of the great wonders of life. So, anyhow, 01:09:23.649 --> 01:09:25.729 thank you, everybody, for listening. Good night, 01:09:25.770 --> 01:09:32.529 assholes. Good night, assholes. Oh, no. Looks 01:09:32.529 --> 01:09:35.369 like the show's over, kids. Mark has explosive 01:09:35.369 --> 01:09:39.029 diarrhea and can't afford a wireless mic. Fear 01:09:39.029 --> 01:09:41.449 not, assholes. They'll be back invading your 01:09:41.449 --> 01:09:42.210 ear holes soon.