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Douchebags and Microphone. Alternate Universe
Edition. The Alternate Douchebags Pledge. Turn
up the show and scream obscenities while flapping
your arms like a chicken. That's it. We keep
it simple in this universe. Three, two, one,
and go. Two douchebags and a microphone? We don't
stand behind our journalistic integrity. Go ahead
and assume we got the story wrong. At least we
admit it. Not like all those other guys, we can
and will lie if it makes the story better. Two
douchebags and a microphone? Push bags and microphone
in an effort to keep everything fresh. We offer
you first world problems. My driver's license
picture makes me look older. I'm calling a lawyer.
Hey, peeps, it's time for the police blotter.
That's right. Stories about stupid criminals
and the dumb assness that ensued. Let us begin
now. Dean Young, 26, entered a parked landscaping
van in Hialeah, Florida, allegedly to steal the
tools in the inside. He accidentally locked himself
inside the van and begins screaming for someone
to let him out. The landscapers heard the man's
screams and promptly called the police where
he was arrested for breaking and entering a vehicle
and for attempted theft. This guy gets a stupid
pendant pronto. Swimming in toxic masculinity
and wiping their ass with politically correct
wash rags. Douchebags in a microphone, invade
your ear holes in 3, 2, 1. Hey there. We all
have those annoying co -workers that do nothing.
There's nothing we can do about it because HR
departments are running scared of lawyers. So
we have to work with these worthless pieces of
garbage. But we have to communicate about them
without them knowing about it. Here at Two Douchebags
Microphone, we developed a way that you can speak
about them right in front of them without them
knowing about it. Stay tuned. First code name,
Absolute Zero. They contribute nothing and effectively
stop all molecular motion in the project. Dark
matter. You know they're there. They take up
space, but they provide no light and cannot be
observed doing actual work. Static. High noise.
Zero signal. Stays in one place. Event Horizon.
Once a task enters their orbit, it is never seen
again. How about Buffer? They take 20 minutes
to process a 5 second request. The Screensaver.
Looks like they're working, but as soon as you
touch them, they disappear. Cloud Mode. Just
floating around, vague, and nobody knows what
they actually do. And finally, 404. Task not
found. Stay tuned for more of these gems. Have
you ever wondered what something came about?
Have you ever looked at something and said, hey,
I wonder what the origin of that is? Well, so
have we. That's why we give you The Origin Of.
The Coca -Cola Company introduced Pepo, marketed
as a pepper -type soda. In early 1972, the beverage,
then only sold in Memphis, Tennessee market,
drew ire from the Dr. Pepper Company. Who sued
the Coca -Cola company for trademark infringement?
In June of that year, as the litigation continued,
Coca -Cola modified the Pepo formula and reintroduced
it as Mr. Pibb. The new makeover was marketed
as a spicy cherry cola and not a pepper -type
drink. The new formula was sold primarily in
Coke soda fountains, but was soon bottled. and
sold with most of the Coke products. Today, Mr.
Pibb was reintroduced after it was rebranded
Pibb Extra in the early 2000s. And now we look
in on the adventures of the technical explanation
guy. Excuse me, my dear sir. Could you please
put my plain bread in a small countertop appliance
with heating elements that would spring -loaded
and would brown my bread adequately? Well, first
off, I'm not a waiter. I'm just a guy over there
sitting at the table having a drink. Second off,
are you talking about someone toasting your bread?
Why, yes. Yes, I am. I'm talking about my bread
being toasted. Then why don't you just ask for
your bread to be toasted, you dumb bastard? The
hell's wrong with you? This is Joshua Belmont,
your food for thought man on The Hustle. So I
just realized a genius that gets absolutely no
credit. His name is Marshall Taylor. he is credited
with the first bag of salad mix that was bagged
and sold yesterday was his birthday i believe
he is still alive this guy's genius will never
be fully appreciated before this ban we settled
for iceberg lettuce with maybe a couple of croutons
and some cheese was mr taylor satisfied with
that hell no He realized that Billy Americana
would never go out and buy a couple of radishes,
a couple of carrots, a head of purple cabbage,
maybe snow peas, and possibly some cute romaine
bladders for extra bougie. Mr. Taylor, you should
have a national holiday. And we're off. all right
um hi everybody this is two douchebags and microphone
uh alternate universe edition and also quite
a bit of the sports bastards too because we do
have some sports stuff coming up yeah so draft
is pretty soon so yes it is so put your uh put
your fucking pants on and let's go all right
and if you have your pants on take them off What
did Dick Vermeule say? He's time to put your
big boy pants on and go to work. The diaper.
And Larry Johnson flipped a wig and was like,
dude, it's a fucking expression. Come on now.
But he's become a good guy since then, and I
support him 100%. That's good. And it rained
quite a bit. I can see the rivers up a little
bit. We are at the Rock Island Bridge once again.
We love this place. It's nice, nice, nice, nice.
Yeah. One of these days we'll be here on a sunny
day. Yeah, that would be nice and warm. Yes,
we've been here twice, so it's been a little
cloudy, a little cool, a little windy, but what
the heck, it's April. Yeah. April in Kansas City,
you've got to figure that kind of stuff. April
in Kansas City is anything you want. Yes. Well,
we have some fun stuff on the show today. As
you said, some sports stuff. I also have a list
of some of the silliest laws that are still...
On the books in Kansas, and since the Rock Island
Bridge is here in Kansas, I thought that would
be appropriate. Yep, although a lot of people
do not know that. No, no, as soon as you walk
on the entrance, you're basically in Kansas.
So remember that all the Kansas laws apply as
far as adult beverages and smoking things. Yeah,
and smoking things, yep. How about the boys are
back in town? Is that a pretty good little track
to put our... Or a little Facebook stamp on,
let everybody know we're here. Yeah. I think
so, too. The boys are back. The boys are back.
Nice little fast rock shuffle. Yeah. I like it.
Phil Lynott. Very talented bassist. Yep. Singer.
I heard the other day... Oops. Uh -oh. Your thing
fell down. It sure did. Damn it. I got to get
my thing back in. Hang with us. If I can get
the thing, it's on the ground. I heard the other
day that... All right, things back in. Yeah.
Thin Lizzy really didn't get going until they
hired those two guitar players to go do their
dueling guitar stuff back and forth. I can completely
believe that because that was kind of like their
sound. Yeah, the harmonized solos. They both
had Les Pauls, and they both had, I think, the
same amp, so it just sounded really cohesive
when they did that. I got a little story here
about reviews on 1587. And that would be the
prime steakhouse for Patrick Mahomes and Travis
Kelsey, allegedly own it. Yes. So, okay, here
is the most poignant one, the most relevant piercing.
But there's, by far and large... Many more complaints
or disappointments than there was compliments.
And I simply pose this question. Should Travis
and Patrick reevaluate having their name on the
restaurant? The reviews are more than 80 % negative
to flat out horrible. I'm not surprised. The
one that I want to read here is underwhelming
for the price. The food was good but not better
than any other KC Steakhouse's like... 801 jay
gilbert stock hill or solvins or my favorite
jess and jim's i like jay gilbert's pretty well
jay gilbert's is excellent really good i got
a gift card there once yeah solvins i'm not so
crazy about yeah the the service was excellent
the ambience was wonderful but the initial entry
to the restaurant with multiple check -ins. It
is set up in a very pretentious and snobbish
manner, attempting to make it more prestigious
than necessary. These are football players, people.
Football players. There have also been several
controversies associated with it, like claiming
they use local products, i .e. shadow, when the
company's released statements indicating that
they are not. I didn't know about that. So if
this is true, we don't know if this is true or
not. This is what I read. It is cool to say I
went once, but I... would not go back so I asked
people the question I'm not dogging them we love
the guys yeah love them on our team but I'm pretty
sure if this was probably set up as a whole deal
gimmick deal and I mean they might own some of
it but I would really highly doubt and I don't
know this for sure this just by past stuff and
all that that Generally, they might own a little
portion of it, but they don't put a big chunk
of their money into it. No, and I imagine they
have pretty much zero control or voice. Exactly.
They were brought in to be the public face that
people would... The reason people would come
in, because people would not spend these kind
of prices for nobody. And really, that is the
extent of their involvement in the entire franchise,
is to be the thing that lures you in. That's
all they do. I mean, we're pretty sure that's
what's going on, but if it's not, we could be
wrong. This is my opinion, we'll say that. Yeah,
my opinion too. Until they show otherwise. I
think after reading all the reviews and what
people are saying is they might reconsider. I
don't know what kind of a contract they have.
But it can't be good. It can't be good to have
those kind of reviews and to have your name on
it. It would be interesting to see if that kind
of spills over into other areas of Mahomes and
Kelsey's life that people keep bringing up. Hey,
you know, by the way, your steakhouse sucks.
Yeah. You know, maybe. Keep bringing that up
over and over, and maybe they'll either, one,
do something about it, or two, take their name
off it. Yeah, so, you know what, that's just
our two cents on it, so I just thought I'd bring
that up real quick and get that out of the way.
You know, from the beginning, I figured it would
be nothing special, and they would just be trading
on the name primarily, and it was for, as you
said, the people who want to brag to their friends
that they went and did it. Yes, yeah, and that's
pretty much what that said, too, and I agree.
All right, Topher, you got something you want
to go into? I've got all kinds of bullet points
coming up. Excellent. We forgot them last week,
so we got those, and then I made another set.
I'm forgetting that we had the ones left from
last week. Yeah. Well, there's a recent thing
about the Royals' stadium and their plans. Uh
-huh. Fans are still wondering what's going to
happen with the team stadium. The Royals do plan
to leave Kauffman after their 2030 season. Ducks?
Geese? I don't know. I think it's a goose. It
sounds like a goose. Sounds like a goose. Yeah,
I believe that's geese. Dinner. Oh, yeah. Okay.
Royals chairman and CEO John Sherman spoke to
reporters for nearly 20 minutes the other day,
and he said he'd like to talk about new stadiums
sooner rather than later, adding that there's
a great sense of urgency to this. The Asperia
campus at 119th and Nall in Overton Park is now
out of the team's consideration. They're done
with that. Yeah, and I... Okay, I thought that
that could have worked. I didn't necessarily
want it there because I do too much business
over there, including hospitals and medical and
just generally a lot of stuff that I shop over
there for. So I wasn't really in favor of it
being there, but at least I could see some logic.
You have alternate 69 is what they call it right
now. Well, now it's the expressway. They could
have easily built a ramp over that to connect
to the expressway. And so if people want to get
there quick, they can pay a little bit of money
and use the Kansas, the KDOT, you know, expressway
and pay a little bit of money. Or you can do
the old -fashioned way and do the back roads.
Or you could use the slower lane in the highway.
Yeah. And I thought that I could see something
going on there. But some of these places, I'm
kind of scratching my head going, logistically,
how are they going to do it? Well, I think a
big part of their plan is to have. enough parking
spaces for about a third of their seating capacity.
Like if it's a 12 ,000 seat stadium, they're
going to have 4 ,000 parking spaces. Yes. And
they're going to charge out the ass for those
4 ,000 spaces because they can. And then everybody
else is going to have to use public transportation.
Yeah, and that's what they want. That's what
they want. The streetcars will get a really good
workout on this. If it's at Washington Square,
that seems to be kind of the hot spot where they
keep coming back to. Yeah. But don't forget,
there is nothing holding them to Kansas City.
No, no. John Sherman says that he plans on staying
in the Kansas City area, but tomorrow he could
change his mind. You've got to remember, he's
not from Kansas City, so he doesn't really have
it. I mean, listen, I'm glad he owns it, and
I think he's doing a pretty decent job with the
way that the finances go. Major League Baseball
and all of that. And we could go into that bullshit
way that they do things, but we're not going
to. That's another podcast. And something to
keep in mind is that people who own multi -billion
dollar businesses have a tendency sometimes to
tell you what they think you want to hear. That's
the other thing. Even though it's not true. Yeah.
Imagine that. So, you know what? How do you build
a case? For something like this and to get out
of everything if there is anything court -wise.
Yeah. Well, I tried and I tried and I tried,
but I couldn't get anything to go through, so
I have no choice but to leave the town because
we don't have a home. Yeah. There's nothing better
for that if you want to move the team. Yeah.
So that needs to be thought of right there in
Kansas City as, let me put it politely, careful.
Yes, cautious. As cautious as they are, in parentheses,
may tend to give someone that thought of, all
right, well, maybe I need to go somewhere else
because I don't think these people care. And
you know what? Going somewhere else might put
you in a larger market. Bingo. Imagine that.
Imagine that. Let's see. Would L .A. like another
team? Probably. Probably. Would Las Vegas like
a team? Probably. Probably. Louisville? They're
primed for a team. Columbus, Ohio. Columbus,
Ohio is probably a better choice because there's
more population there. And also you'd have a
built -in rivalry with the Reds. I mean, just
right next door. And also the Tigers in Cleveland.
Everything's right there. That would be a good
spot if the Royals wanted to move out of state.
Yeah, and the reason I say Louisville is because
I've been there a couple of times, last time
to meet some family, and we toured the school
because my cousin's daughter might have been
going to school there. She's since decided to
go somewhere else. But their Louisville Cardinals
are a major league team. Oh, yeah, pretty much.
Their stadium is a major stadium. The people
there all wear Louisville red, all wear the Cardinals
apparatus, all they're like really big time.
I mean, they're into every sport they do. It
could be badminton and they wear shirts. So that
is actually a really good sports town. And you
can draw from all over around there too, you
know, right across the Ohio River is a lot of
population. And I could see it going there, and
that would put us on the map, kind of like Jacksonville
did with the Jaguars. Yeah. Not necessarily the
biggest population, but the fact that you somehow
got a sports team there and are somehow working
it out says a lot. Yeah, it gives one more big
reason to go visit that city. Yeah. I drove through
Columbus a number of years back. I was coming
back from going to the Rock Hall of Fame and
the Football Hall of Fame. Columbus is virtually
the size of Kansas City. It is pretty close,
yeah. I was driving back, and I saw a large billboard
for the National Air Force Museum. Oh, wow. I
didn't know that. And I thought, I think I've
got time. I'm going to stop. And I turned around,
and I found it, and I went in, and I spent probably
four hours there poking around. It's amazing.
What they have in that building. Or Austin and
San Antonio. Yeah. Or I think San Antonio is
actually bigger than Kansas City population -wise.
I think Austin might be bigger now, too. And
weather -wise, that's going to be a pretty friendly
place to be, especially if you have an open or
semi -open stadium. Yeah. And the thing is, I
mean, you're going to also have people. migrating
to the game from one or the other, Austin or
San Antonio, depending on where they put it.
There is all kinds of options. Yeah. There's
no team in New Mexico. There's no team in Oklahoma.
Yeah. There's no team in Utah. I mean, all those
states would tend to maybe tune in and watch
your team. Yeah. You know, and Oklahoma City
has proven a point with their basketball team.
Yep. They support it very well. Something to
think about. So anyhow, go ahead. Sherman goes
on. He says, I think we've talked enough about
North Kansas City, he said earlier. They've done
a nice job with both land assemblage and political
leadership up there. There's still some discussions
going on on the Kansas side, and the other one
is Kansas City, Missouri downtown. Clay County,
Missouri Western Commissioner at Large Jason
Withington, as he was leaving the game, commented
on the downtown Kansas City location, which would
be Washington Square Park, as you said, just
east of Union Station. Sherman said they have
an opportunity there. He was asked whether he's
concerned he won't have a new stadium open by
the start of the 2031 season if they can't pick
a site. Sherman replied, I still... We still
have a cushion there. I think Atlanta built their
stadium, I think, from start to finish in 39
months. So we've got a little bit of a cushion
but not a big one. It's time to get on with it.
Yes. So this is John Sherman basically telling
everyone publicly, I'm tired of waiting. Let's
get something done. And he's right. If I was
him, I'd be like, hey, guys, listen. This is,
at first. It was kind of like a, hey, let's get
this done. Now it's a, no, we get this done.
Especially since the Chiefs have gotten their
deal done and made out like bandits. Yes, and
now he's looking at the same thing. Yeah, I think
the Chiefs kind of set the bar there, and a whole
bunch of NFL team owners are looking at the deal
the Chiefs got and thinking, oh, hell yeah, let's
find a deal like that. Which leads me to believe
that this team is going to end up in Kansas too.
Yeah. Wouldn't be surprised. I'm going to scratch
that off of the bullet points because that's
on there, whether Kansas is going to get them
too. I believe they will. I think it's a strong
possibility. I think just everything about it
is going to be easier. Yes. And Kansas has already
demonstrated that they will work with the sports
team a lot more quickly than Jackson County or
Missouri can. Look at all the space around here,
the Rock Island Bridge. Look at all this over
here. Tons of space. They could just plant themselves
over on the other side easily. Easily. Yep. And
all the highway infrastructures here. Yes, I
-70, I -35, 29 coming in from the north. I mean,
you've got all the major arteries coming through
Kansas City and going to Kansas City, Kansas.
And the city would build more. I mean, if you're
going to put a stadium there and get people back
and forth, they'll build more roads for you.
The riverfront along here will be built up. That
would be wonderful. They're finally doing that
with Berkeley Park. Finally on the Missouri River.
But wouldn't it be great for Kansas to jump in
and start doing it too? And then Missouri's like,
oh shit, we've got to compete with Kansas now
on a riverfront. I could see them doing that.
Well, actually, that's part of the plan here.
The riverfront is going to be developed. I don't
know how much. But, I mean, I think you're going
to have, like you have down there on the Cumberland
River in Nashville, booze cruises where everybody
paddles down it drinking and all that cool stuff.
Now, imagine that going down the Kansas River.
A bunch of people slamming alcohol and peddling.
And here you are on the Rock Island Bridge. You
look down and they're like, woo -woo, yay! You
know, kind of like the pedestrian bridge. Perfect.
Yeah. The pedestrian bridge is like that in Nashville.
Everyone's up there, you know, hey, guys, throw
us a beer! You know, stuff like that. It's a
big, party, happy atmosphere. And that's what
they're going to have right here, I do believe.
And Kansas has got all these opportunities because
Missouri has... the Missouri side of the Missouri
River until it turns east, and then they get
both sides. Yeah. So until then, Kansas gets
the other side of the Missouri and both sides
of the Kansas River. Yes. So they have three
riverbanks they can develop, and Missouri has
two. That levee right there is actually the state
line. I looked it up. The levee is the state
line right there. Yep. So we're a good, what,
2 ,000, 3 ,000 feet into Kansas at least. Which
means... All that riverbank is Kansas. Yes. Not
Missouri. And anything that gets developed is
Kansas. And they're going to pay their taxes
to Kansas. Yeah. It would be an awesome time
to be an elected official in Kansas right now
because there's crap tons of opportunity going
on. Oh, gosh, yeah. Man, I would have to have
tape to hide my boner. At every single deal that
goes through, there's a chance to skim off 10
% to 15%. Because that's what they do. Because
that's what they do. That's what they do. Whose
money is going where? Okay, you can do it. Yep.
No money going anywhere? Impossible. Can't be
done. Remember how organized crime was busted
for the skim? Oh, yeah. Speaking of that, today
was the day that Boss Tom Pendergast was indicted
on federal income tax and thrown away in prison
for a while. Yep. Anyhow, go ahead. What's it
up if you don't know what I'm talking about?
Yeah. That was it on the stadium thingy. Do you
want me to go into some bullet points or you
got something you want to do? Yeah, let's do
bullet points. Okay. The first off on bullet
points. What quarterbacks are going to have a
banner year this year? I think Lamar Jackson
is posed for having a good year. Yeah. He's a
one -year -on, one -year -off kind of guy because
of his nature of running so much. True, true.
So I'm going to say Lamar Jackson. The guy that
I think is going to take a step back is probably
going to be Josh Allen. He was so emotional on
that post -game conference because he knew. He
had the guy out of the way. Finally, Mahomes
was not a part of it. He knew that if it was
ever going to be done, it was this year. Yeah,
that was his opportunity. And it looks to me
like it might have broke his back. I could be
completely wrong, and he could come out just
swinging. And also, they got a new coach. Yeah.
Maybe not a new system, but a new head coach.
And also the ownership there is very questionable
suddenly. True. After everyone did a little research,
then nobody wanted the job. Yeah. So that tells
me, like, there's some trouble brewing there.
Yeah, and all of that is just going to make it.
harder for the Bills this coming season. None
of that is motivation. None of that is spurring
them on. It's just drainage. They're already
getting graffiti all over the new place. Yeah,
it continues to happen. Fans are utterly pissed
about this new high -dollar stadium that they're
never going to be able to afford to go into.
Well, that's what's going to happen here, too.
But it doesn't bother me because I haven't had
an inkling to go to a football game in probably
15 years. No, you get more... More coverage at
home. It's way more comfortable. Huge TV. You
can stop the game anytime you want and go take
a leak if you need to. Yeah. Yeah, it's just
so much easier. Someone that needs to have a
really good year but probably won't, Jalen Hurts.
I think he's taking a step back. He is getting
so much criticism. I think he needs to have a
good year where he's done this year. Oh, I think
so, too. I think he and possibly the head coach
are done at the end of the year unless the Eagles
and Jalen Hurts has a really good year. The weasel
Nick Sirianni? Yeah. Yeah. But the last two years,
Hurts has just gotten worse. Yeah, he has. He's
fading. And so is Nick Sirianni. Yeah. Yeah,
they won that Super Bowl, and we have, what,
one fucking starter on the offensive line like
we did against Tampa? Yeah. Yeah, the Eagles
got a great big boost from that Super Bowl, but
it's all been hangover since then. Yeah, they
have not looked the same since then. And I don't
believe that there's anything wrong with Jalen
Hurts. I think he's being ruined by the team.
I think so, too. The Eagles organization somehow
is screwing up Jalen Hurts' career. Half the
team doesn't want him there. Yeah. That's one
of the problems. You don't get that in Kansas
City or Buffalo. Yeah. Or Baltimore. You say
Lamar Jackson, Baltimore. Oh, yeah. Oh, man.
Oh, gosh, that guy. Same way with Josh. Well,
there's a few people down on Josh Allen. Yeah.
But wide and far, it's like, oh, yeah, man, we're
glad we got him. Kind of like we are here. Yeah.
You know, anybody that has that quarterback,
Matthew Stafford, same thing, you know. Sam Darnold
might be getting there. I don't know. You know,
I mean, to me, that was more of a defensive running.
Yeah, yeah. That won the game, but he didn't
do anything to fuck it up. That's true. I can
give him that. If the Chiefs hadn't just gotten
Justin Fields, then I would say we're in a perfect
position at the end of next year for Jalen Hurst
to be let go by the Eagles and the Chiefs to
pick him up. That may happen, too. It may still
happen. I mean, they may decide that Justin Fields
isn't quite it, but Mahomes and Jalen Hurst on
the same team? No. Interesting. I would love
to see them on the same field at the same time.
Especially since when the NFL goes to the 18
-game season, the players' union is going to
insist on capping an individual player's limit
at 17 out of the 18 games. I think it should
be 16. I think it would be 16, too. But that
means your starting quarterback is going to have
to take two games off. Yeah, and I think the
Chiefs are looking at that. Yeah, you need a
better backup than you've had to have all this
time. Also, Andy Reid has stated a couple of
times now, we don't view him as a gadget player.
We view him as a legitimate quarterback. Yeah.
which makes all the difference in the whole world.
It does, yeah. But it still does not take him
out of gadget plays. True, true. You know, I
would love the thought of that. Hey, Kelsey does
gadget plays. Yeah, yeah. Tyreek Hill did them
all the time. I mean, you know, you could take
your star players or people that you perceive
as just like one area of expertise or whatever.
So, like I said before, you've got 1 ,000 yards
rushing from a guy that's a quarterback. That
our two main guys couldn't achieve that last
year. Yeah. So the thing that I would like to
see is kind of a wildcat per se, wing T, whatever,
an option. It's like, all right, they're coming
in on Mahomes. There is Justin Fields over there
to the right. Yep. Tosses off to Justin Fields.
Justin Fields has an escape guy to his right
and to his left. Or he can throw it downfield
or he can run. You talk about dividing a defense
and making them, you make a defense so ordinary.
A lot of one -on -ones that way. A lot of one
-on -ones. And if you get someone really fast
on a one -on -one situation, you're going to
get a lot of yards. Construct the play like an
RPO, a run pass option. Yes. Because, you know,
with that, it's like, you know, hand the ball
off unless you see something and then throw it
real quick. Well. Working him adjusting fields
that way. You know, if you've got something downfield,
take it. If not, tosser of adjusting fields and
then let him decide. Yeah. You know, oh, I still
don't have everything downfield. Now I'm going
to run. You see, I think when they hired Minshew,
they thought they might have had a guy that was
sustaining how good he was, but obviously he's
in the decline. Oh, yeah. And so I think when
they saw that, I think they tore up their book
of thought and said, we're going to go completely
different. Yeah. We're going to try. a gadget
guy that we think has a lot of underlying talent
that we can coach up. Yeah. And that's the other
thing, too, is Justin Fields has all the talent.
This is true. Who is the guy that can bring it
out? There's a couple of guys, Eric Bien -Ami
and Andy Reid and Patrick Mahomes. And they all
work here. And they all work here. And I'm pretty
sure when Justin Fields heard that, I'm pretty
sure he had a huge fucking party. Yeah, I can
imagine that when he got drafted by the Bears
initially, he was probably thinking, um... And
then ever since then, it's like, where the hell
is my career going? And then the Chiefs want
him. He's like, hallelujah. It's time to sing
and dance. I'm sure he's still on cloud nine.
My career is redeemed. It's different than Trubisky.
When they took Trubisky over Mahomes, Chicago,
the guy didn't have the talent. No. Justin Fields
always had the talent. It's just he was in the
boneyard of quarterbacks. the instant death of
quarterbacks at the time. They have since seemed
to have corrected it, but I'm still not convinced
on Caleb Williams. He does one good play, an
amazing play out of ten plays. That's not good
enough. I think if Caleb Williams were playing
in a better situation, we'd see what a better
quarterback he is. If he was under Andy Reid,
I think you would see something phenomenal. But
since he's in Chicago and now the enemy's gone,
I think they're taking a step back. I really
do. I'm trying to think. Of the last quarterback,
the Jets developed themselves. That was any good.
The Jets? Yeah. Even, like, testicles wasn't
theirs. No, I mean, they got Aaron Rodgers. Maybe
Joe Namath. I don't know. I remember way back
when they had Mark Sanchez. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
If you count Mark Sanchez, then he might be.
Go ahead. I'm sorry. They got that guy from the
Niners, Jeff Garcia. If he can leave younger
girls alone, he's fine. Allegedly. Yeah, allegedly.
But, yeah, I can't think of a single quarterback
that the Jets either drafted or took early in
the career and developed and worked into a good
starter. It just doesn't happen in the Jets organization.
Even the Chiefs, you couldn't say that to them
at home because Len Dawson came from Dallas.
Yeah. We didn't develop him. Yeah. Actually,
I think he was drafted initially by Pittsburgh.
Yeah. Yeah, he was. And I think he also played
for Cleveland briefly. Briefly. He had a cup
of coffee there. Back then, they were both NFL
teams. There was no AFC or NFC. It was NFL. Yeah.
And then it was the AFL. And when the two leagues
merged. The Steelers, the Browns, and the Colts
moved over to the AFC. They had to because of
opponents. They needed an equal amount. Yeah,
equal it out. Someone else I think is going to
have a good year. Is it Jackson Dart for the
Giants? Yes. I think whoever the Giants' starting
quarterback is, I think is going to have a good
year. I think it's going to be Dart because already
John Harbaugh was saying, you know, hey, I really
like what I see with Dart. Yeah. Now, Scadaboo,
I don't know. He's got a lot of issues, evidently.
He's had like 30 concussions. Something like
that. You've got to read it up. It's an abnormal
amount. I mean, I'm sorry, but I don't think
he should play anymore. Yeah, yeah, we got all
the hype about him, and he has the fun name and
the interesting story. Oh, I've heard some stuff
with the name, too, and I'm like, guys. I call
him Skater Boy. Skater Boy, yeah. But, yeah,
it looks like he's always been damaged goods.
I think so. And they're just trying to see how
much they can get out of him in the meantime.
He's kind of like the old Chiefs reclamation
projects. You know, we're like, oh, yeah, he
was injured his whole time, but we think we can
pick him up on the cheap and make him work. Yeah.
So I like Scataboo a lot, but, I mean, you know,
unless he starts wearing that special helmet.
Yeah, he needs to wear the Guardian helmet. Yeah,
he needs to wear the Guardian helmet. And Tua
does, too. Tua. Is he even in the league anymore?
Did someone pick him up? Yeah, it was Atlanta.
Okay. Wherever he went, he's the starter. It
was either Atlanta or Minnesota or something
like that. I think it was Atlanta. I think it
was. Because Kirk Cousins is gone. Yeah. Kirk
Cousins is where? He's a Raider now. A Raider,
that's right. I've got a story about him coming
up. Okay, yeah. But yeah, wherever Tua is, he
needs to wear the Guardian helmet. Yes. In fact,
just wrap the poor guy in bubble wrap. Yeah,
I think bubble wrap. He needs to be bubble wrapped
the whole fucking time. Or you know those coyote
coats they put on little dogs that are covered
with spikes? Put Tua in a coyote coat. That's
when the defender comes rushing and is like,
oh, spikes, I can't touch them. I mean, give
the guy half a chance. Put a big flag there.
Imagine how much excellent football we could
have seen from Tua Tungavailoa if... Miami hadn't
just beaten the snot out of him. Well, okay,
I got a little bit different theory on that,
and I see where you're coming from with that,
but I don't know if he's ever had it because
the instinct is horrible that he has. Oh, that's
true. That's a good point. Yeah. I mean, I like
the guy personally. Very nice guy. You know,
devout Christian. There's nothing not to really
like about him. I mean, he's a very likable guy.
But to me... When you run into people with your
head after you had three concussions, four concussions,
that's not instinct. Yeah. You know, it's just
kind of like Worthy doesn't have that instinct.
And I hope they'll be able to teach it into him.
But I think I gave this credit to Saran Petro
because I listen to his show when I get a chance.
And he's one that said it. He said, Worthy, instead
of running away from the receivers after he caught
one on the sideline, he runs right into them.
That is not. instinct yeah i see that so much
in football is is is especially see with the
pass rusher yeah it's like if they turn a little
to the left they've got a gap they can run right
at the quarterback instead they turn to the right
and run directly into the person who's been assigned
to block them yeah i don't get that it's like
listen all the great ones no they start running
as fast as they can because they know forward
motion is hard to stop once something's in motion
It takes an incredible act to stop it, and especially
someone fast. But I think a lot of those players
are told by the coach, you know, you go engage
this blocker. That's your job. Go do your job.
And they will do it even though there's an opportunity
for a sack right there. They'll ignore it because,
well, coach says I got to go engage this blocker,
so that's all I'm doing. To me, those are the
people you don't want. No. You got to have football
savvy. You got to have it in your head. Like,
you got to have that killer instinct. Like, there
is arm links, you know. Yeah. I mean, look at
Derek Thomas. I mean, all of a sudden, you just
see his arm come out of nowhere. He's halfway
on the ground. His arm still gets him and knocks
him down. I mean, you know. There's other players
like that, too, that are so good at that. And
they have that mystery move, that spin. Like,
Neil Smith had that spin around. But I think
Derek Thomas had an even better spin around to
where they got him. No, they don't. And he goes
around. But Derek Thomas could change directions
so quickly because his ankles were so insanely
flexible. Yeah. I mean, they do a stop. but a
still frame on Derek Thomas on the pass rush
changing direction. And his ankle is basically
laid over dead sideways, almost touching his
calf. And it's not an injury. It's just he's
that flexible changing direction. No, he was
something else. He had a special talent. He did.
Yeah. If football hadn't been invented, I wonder
what Derek Thomas would have done with his life
because he was just like perfectly designed for
football. Well, I know. Probably some other sport.
I mean, because he was an athlete naturally.
Maybe lacrosse. Yeah, that could be. Well, the
thing is, they said he didn't practice that much.
He didn't have to. Yeah, they said he actually
was pretty bad in practice. You'd look at him
in practice and say, that's Derek Thomas. And
then on game day, you're like, whoa, there's
Derek Thomas. But when you see him down in, I
think it's Alabama, wasn't it? Yeah. When you
see him down in Alabama, you're like, oh, my
God, who is that guy? And that's what Marty Schottenheimer
and Carl Peterson built the franchise on them.
They already had Neil Smith the year before they
drafted him, so they had the cornerstone right
there. And then they needed that pass rush guy
to complement Neil Smith. So they built that
whole team, that 90s football, Chiefs football
team on Derek Thomas. That's how good the guy
was. Next question. What surprise team is coming
up? For some reason, I think. Jacksonville's
going to have a damn good year this coming year.
They're kind of rebuilding very well. Trevor
Lawrence is probably good enough not to fuck
it up now. The Panthers, yeah. I think that Bryce
Young is good enough. He may never be that superstar.
Maybe never elite. Yeah, never elite, but I think
he's good enough to get you in there. I mean,
Sam Darnold. Sam Darnold just did it. I could
see him doing Sam Darnold. As long as you don't
make mistakes and you make the critical plays
when you need to, most of them, you're not going
to make all of them, the people on the other
side are all pros and all that too. It is funny
how people used to say, well, in order to win
the Super Bowl, you need that franchise quarterback,
you've got to have that. Seattle showed everyone,
nah, just have a complete team. Well, football
goes through phases. And what happened is, quietly,
while the Chiefs were pulling quarterback, quarterback,
quarterback, Everyone else is taking a step back
like Philadelphia and Seattle and going defensive
line, defensive line, defensive line. So, in
other words, they do their best to neutralize
the quarterback. Instead of trying to outthrow
him, they try to put him on the ground. Kind
of look what police departments do. You know,
when the bank robber is fleeing the scene in
a really fast car, the police could spend, you
know. Hundreds of thousands of dollars developing
super fast cars to chase them. Or you could spend
maybe a tenth of that money on technology to
throw out the road in front of them and stop
that car. Yes. And that's the smarter way to
do it. Instead of join the chase and drive all
over the... No, just stop the car. Yeah. And
that's what your defensive line does. Oh, you've
got this killer quarterback and awesome money.
Well, we're just going to put up a brick wall
that you can't run through. Yeah, it's like,
yeah, we're going to throw these stop sticks
and... We don't have to cover you downfield.
We don't have to run after you and chase you.
You're never going to get going. You're never
going to get going. Yeah. It makes more sense
to prevent rather than react. Yeah, I agree.
And, you know, I mean, why would you try to fight
with the best? You don't fist fight Muhammad
Ali, right? No. You know, Mike Tyson, you don't
come up and fist fight. Well, you know, boxing.
Yeah. But you can street fight him. I did see
Tommy Morrison get his ass kicked out in front
of Buzzer Beach one night. And that's because
the guy wasn't sitting there dancing around with
his hands up. He just started knocking the shit
out of him. And that element of surprise won
it. Because you're lying on the ground with blood
going, what just happened? Alright, this is off
the wall, but will Winston Cigarettes ever make
a comeback? No. No, it's done. Yeah. All right,
what sport needs to redo their rule book? Baseball.
Baseball, big time. Yeah. Number one, baseball.
I would say baseball because there are way too
many strange, bizarre, antiquated rules. Special
case rules. You know, fans like that. It's like,
oh, well, this is weird, obscure. They need to
streamline it to where people walk up like football.
Make it easy to understand. All football fans
would come in and go, oh, you know you can't
do that. Look, that guy's holding. It's after
five yards. Everyone will come up and do that.
They'll go, no, that's within five yards. Forget
it. You know, everybody knows. They know it's
streamlined. Everybody knows the rules that are
a football fan. Baseball, you can't really say
that about. And soccer is getting better because
the people that have been with soccer the whole
time are starting to teach people like me the
intricate rules. And I'm like, oh, that's interesting.
I never knew that. It's a longstanding joke that
even people who have been into baseball all their
lives can't really explain the infield fly rule.
That's the joke. That is a joke. Yeah. You drop
the damn thing, it's on. I've always found that
one of the stupidest rules around, but the way
I read it was they were worried about injuries,
people colliding. So you do the infield fly rule
to keep everyone from killing you. But I want
to see everyone killing each other trying to
get that ball. And they wear helmets. Yeah, you
wear helmets. Injury is a part of the game. The
whole thing is it's like... Call everybody off
as loud as you can. Make sure they hear you.
Get away. Go. I got it. I got it. Yeah. Have
a safe word. Number eight. Get the fuck out of
here. You know. Yeah. A safe word. They'd be
out there going, Albatross. Albatross. Polyurethane.
Polyurethane. Polyurethane. They're like, you
dumbass. It was fucking weed control today. Oh,
shit. I forgot. Oh, yeah. Polyurethane is my
sex safe word. Oh, shit. I forgot. Yeah. Yeah.
That's when she brings out that one. Oh. Forget
it. No pegging. No entry today. Yes. Yeah, baseball
needs to – yeah, I think if baseball wants to
survive, one, revamp the rule book, kind of help
speed up the game, make it more exciting, and
two, maximize making it gambler -friendly. That's
the other thing, too, but they started doing
some of that when the Royals were finally back
in the playoffs two years ago. Playoffs? Yeah,
playoffs. I started seeing where they go probability
of win on the bottom. Yeah. Well, guess who that's
for? Yeah. People with their app going, oh, okay,
the Royals got an 85 % probability. I got a feeling
this guy's going to come up and hit a dinger
for three. There's two people on. I'm going to
go the other way. And every time they bring up
some bizarre. convoluted streak. Like, you know,
this player has never struck out on a Tuesday
following a day off when he's on the... Car salesman.
Yeah, just on and on. Look at those hubcaps.
It's an invitation to go bet on it. Yeah, yeah,
yeah. Will the streak continue? Will the streak
be broken? That's why they bring it open. The
mileage on this thing. Oh, yeah. Oh, you know,
whenever I drove down the road there, all the
girls look around. You know, yeah, all that stuff.
That's what they're doing is, is like going,
yeah, boy, you got a bad hair. Yeah. I let you
in on something you wasn't supposed to know.
Yep. Yeah, so. All right, should a player with
concussions have to wear the special helmet?
I would say yeah. I think so, too. I think it's
the. You know, someone has to be the dad. Yeah.
You know, someone has to come in and go, we don't
care if you like it or not. If you're going to
play in this league, we're not going to have
you get CTE for entertainment. You are going
to have to wear this helmet or forget it. You're
not playing. And really, why not? You know, protect
your players so they'll play in the league longer.
Yeah. So they won't miss games. I mean, they
make us wear seatbelts and have airbags in our
cars. Yeah. You can't opt out of that. No, I
agree, and I find that irritating because a lot
of people are going to have a horrible life after
football because they do not wear those helmets.
Next to Andy Reid, who would be the best active
coach in the NFL? John Harbaugh, maybe? Mike
Tomlin is out for the time being. I'd say the
coach in Denver is doing real. Oh, Sean Payton
would probably be the next one, yeah. I'd say
he's doing a really, really good job. Yeah, he's
sustained. Let's face it. If Bo Nix didn't get
hurt on that last play, that championship game
would have been completely different. Yeah. Denver
would have owned the Patriots. The Patriots are
not there yet. They're good, but not as good
as people thought. Yeah, and the weather was
really the deciding factor in that game. It was,
yeah. So you got a Stenum who didn't play in
three years, and then you got – Drake May, who's
improving. You know, there's a little bit, to
me, there's a little bit too much made of him.
Yeah. And I think he's coming back to earth this
year. Yeah, I think Patriot organization is really
desperate to have another quarterback that everyone
loves. So they're trying to. make drake may that
guy i'll put it like this all the obnoxious patriots
fans i i got a lot of friends i did a lot of
work up uh in the northeast met some of them
on cruises and stuff i have a lot of friends
that live up in the massachusetts area and i
worked in massachusetts quite a bit okay so i
have a lot of friends and they were so obnoxious
when tom brady was there yes then when he left
you didn't hear a peep so with their resurgence
this year didn't hear a peep They're not convinced.
No, they're not. That's a good point. I was just
remembering the old joke that when you marry,
you should marry a New England fan because she
won't mind if you cheat. I like that. I like
that. All right, now on to some other stuff.
Since we are alternate universe, but we're talking
sports, has Hollywood lost touch with a common
viewer? I think so. For a large part, yeah. Mostly.
Mostly Hollywood is trying to make money off.
Whatever they produce, they want to make money
off. Yeah, they don't care. They just want to
make money, and they want the profit margins
to be huge. So if you get a subpar deal that
will make sense to their bottom line, that's
what you're going to get. You'll still get movies
that are only made to make a statement or to
try to influence. Like, who was the... documentary
guy michael myers or mike myers mike myers yeah
um his movies really weren't intended to make
money he was making political statements and
you'll still get some of those yeah but for the
most part i think what hollywood is out of touch
with is they're trying to pander by offering
what they think people want and they're getting
it wrong over and over and over again And they're
misjudging not only do people want to see this,
and a lot of times it's no, but it's also how
much of this do people want to see? Do they want
to spend two hours in the theater watching this?
Do they want to spend a whole season watching
a TV show with this? And a lot of people are
saying, nah. Yeah, I mean, you get what I used
to call, now he's pretty much a human strip steak,
Rob Reiner. Yeah. No offense to anybody that
likes him. Okay, so, yeah, he was notorious for
producing like that. He wanted to get a message
across. He didn't care if he was entertaining
or not. Exactly. Yeah, so. And also the wishing
harm on people, I think, kind of backfired on
him. Yeah. A lot. I mean, think of how ugly and
horrifying that would be. for rob reiner's wife
they're they're being stabbed to death by their
own kid and they're watching their own kid stabbing
their spouse to death and it's like you have
to watch yourself and your spouse horrible thing
yeah and you know that you're next also yeah
and you know at some point while that was happening
i wonder if rob thought to himself wow i really
fucked up and put myself in the situation yeah
or was he in denial until the very end why is
this happening to me It was pretty much fine
with the Charlie Kirk getting shot in the neck.
He was. So, you know. Yeah, when you start bragging
and boasting about someone else's murder, and
then you get murdered, you've got to kind of
expect people are going to shit on your memory,
too. He kind of deserved it. He did. I would
never say that about Rob Reiner. Nobody deserves
it. How horrible to say something about... That
is despicable. It is. He can go explain that
to God. Yeah. Okay? You know, the book of judgment
there? Listen, I've got a lot of stuff I've got
to explain, and I know this. We all do. We all
do. Imagine that, fresh. So, Mr. Reiner, sit
down. We've got a few things we've got to go
over here. Yeah. First off, do you want to meet
Charlie Kirk? No. Oh, wait, wait, wait. You're
going to the other place. I'm sorry. I think
your elevator's going down. Yeah, yeah, your
elevator's going down. But let me explain this
first. This is legal formalities, you know. Listen,
God wants me to explain to you why you're going
downstairs, okay? So, yeah. Anyhow. Pretty sure
that whatever happens after we die, we have zero
control over. It's been demonstrated. If not,
someone would come back. Yeah. And I always say
the biggest thing about death is we never had
anyone come back except Jesus. Yeah. And go,
hey, guys, don't worry about it, man. You know,
when you go out, there's like this big wall,
okay, and it looks real scary. Yeah. But you
go up and knock on it, and they open it. You
know, if someone came back and explained it.
We might be scared to death and hang on to life
forever and keep us on a ventilator, or we might
go, yeah, I'm ready to go. Yeah. So, yeah. All
right. Does Hollywood care about the common viewer?
No. Not at all? No, we're just somebody to make
money off of. Yeah, that's it. We're a facilitator
for money. Yeah. I think the attitude is, here's
what we think they want to see now so we can
make money off of them, but here's what we're
going to convince them they want to see next
because we can make this stuff real cheap. Yeah,
yep. That's pretty much Hollywood, every TV studio,
movie studio. That's pretty much it. You know,
figure out what they want to watch and then we'll
guide them into something that we'll tell them
they want to watch. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And also
they put in their messages too. So they try to
congeal all of that into one little thing. And
usually it doesn't jive with me. Yeah. I spot
the little subtle messages they're trying to
give you right off the bat. Yeah. And automatically
it turns me away from the program because I already
know how I feel. I don't need someone telling
me. Yeah. Yeah, every time I see a medical show.
where, especially this is true in shows that
have an emergency room, and the doctors there
are relentlessly hostile towards law enforcement.
They're insulting, they're rude, they're arrogant,
they're demanding. It's just this constant anger
and hostility towards law enforcement. And the
thing is, I don't know where they got that from,
honestly. Yeah, it's a liberal thing. It's not
a real life thing. Hang on. You're right. You're
right. Yeah. You're right. I didn't even think
about it like that. Yeah. It used to be on shows
they would make a real point about any person
anywhere that owned any gun whatsoever was automatically
evil. Yeah. And now that has turned towards the
police. Oh, police are evil. They're all bullies.
They're all racist. They're all horrible. They're
evil until someone has a gun pointed at you and
the police shows up and he takes the hit for
you. There was one show where the plot was a
patient came in, didn't get enough attention,
so he took a doctor and several other people
hostage. And SWAT shows up, and the person who
runs the hospital, mostly what she does is interfere
with law enforcement and tell them, you're not
doing it right, you're doing it wrong, you should
be doing this, stop doing that, you're not doing
enough. It's repulsive. It is. I mean, all she
does is just... bitch at law enforcement about
how horrible and awful they are they need to
get out but at the same time you need to stop
this you need to fix this you need to put an
end to this just the angry demanding person yeah
um yeah and that's what hollywood seems to like
to focus in on yeah um and you know i mean listen
are there bad cops yes but i would hate to see
an america without cogs There are lots of bad
doctors, too, but somehow doctors are always
the heroes. There's a lot of bad politicians,
too, but people have their eyes fucking blind
to that. There are a whole bunch of bad people
who are running non -profit liberal organizations.
All the time, yes. Isn't that funny how that
seems to be a pattern? Yep. A big pattern. Yeah.
I run into people all sorts, all the time, who
will... see a situation and they'll just disbelieve
oh no one would ever do that that would never
happen i used to be one of those guys how could
how could they have this pedophile island and
nobody know about it yeah this couldn't oh that's
not real that couldn't happen a lot of people
knew about it but they are to me indicted if
they knew about it and not turning it in yeah
if you know about something like that going on
is your duty not only as a citizen, but as a
human being and the right thing to do to turn
that in. You know, even when I worked for the
Postal Service, I would see my co -workers doing
things that were against the rules. And in a
lot of cases, against the law. Because a lot
of post office rules are actually federal law.
It's not just a rule that you don't throw someone's
mail away. It's an actual federal law that you
go to jail for. And people get busted all the
time doing stuff like that. But I would see over
and over somebody would do something wrong and
then giggle about it and tell other people and
they'd giggle about it too and nobody would turn
them in. And that happens all over the place,
all the time, at every level of every business,
everywhere. Of course it's happening. And, you
know, if it's, you know, hey, yeah, I picked
up this girl last night and I did her and then
I killed her and buried her body out in the dump.
Oh, yeah, that's funny. There are people who
won't turn people in for that. They think it's
funny and then they'd go do it too. Yeah, yep.
But, of course, they'll, no, no one would ever
do that. Okay. Go ahead and live your life. Just
stay away from me. Well, like I said, my eyes
were opened, and I apologized to some people
that were telling me that this was going on,
and I kind of poo -pooed it off. Well, for me,
I had the, I guess you could call it an advantage,
of learning very early in my life that the people
that you're supposed to rely and count on can
and will do horrible and criminal things to you.
Because my dad used to beat me, which was utterly
illegal and a horrible thing to do, but he didn't
give a damn. And every member of my family just
turned a blind eye. I blame them just as much.
They were complicit. They were on board. But
there's something horrible and illegal happening
right under their noses, and nobody said a damn
word ever. And to this day, I know at least one
of my siblings who will refuse to believe that
ever happened. He just, no, no, I'm sure you're
making that up. You just don't remember right.
And to credit you, he is a flaming fucking idiot.
He is, absolutely. But I think alcohol rotted
his brain. He's an alcoholic, and as far as I
know, he's sober right now, but he's been...
His brain's pickled anyway. Yeah, he's fallen
off the wagon a couple of times. And really,
the only time I could get along with him was
when he was drunk. because he was kind of neutralized
and he wasn't such an asshole. But when he'd
sober up, he was a prick and I didn't want to
be around him. It makes me wonder if maybe the
way that he acts, because you've informed me
of a lot and I've seen some of it online before
you got him out of your life, if maybe your dad
was cruel to him before you came along. He kind
of exhibits, from what I read, some of that behavior.
It could be. What I always remember is... From
my memory of him, he was dad's enabler. Oh, okay.
Then that can be... If dad was Hitler, then my
brother was head of the Gestapo. Okay. Yeah.
And he couldn't wait to rat me out. He would
set me up and rat me out. He would make up shit
about me and rat me out to get me beaten again.
That's fucked up. Yeah. I got the reputation
as a kid of being a really, really... horrible
liar i just you know oh he just lies all the
time everything's a lie but i wasn't they were
making up shit about me to wreck my reputation
so that if i ever said hey dad's beating me no
one would believe me that man that is just so
wrong on so many levels but you see i learned
that when i was eight years old so i've known
all my life that People who look nice on the
outside. And my dad had a lot of friends, a lot
of people who admired him, etc. But to me, he
was the monster. I've learned that the hard way,
too. So I'm ready to believe that anybody can
be a monster. Even if I don't see it, even if
there's no indication, it's in there. They can.
Oh, yeah. Oh, I've seen the most docile people.
Just something happened that just... did the
thing, flipped their trigger, and they are a
raging lunatic. And quite often, it's the pendulum
effect. It's like, oh, I don't care. That's all
right. And just at one time, it's like, what
the fuck? And they start destroying the whole
room. So, yeah. I try to always be ready for
that stuff. Yeah, me too. You know, most of the
times, what I like to do is, anymore, we got
a guy at work that... Likes to say mean things
and then try to disguise it. What I do is I repeat
what he says real slow and nothing else. And
then everybody else looks up and is like, that
was shitty. And then I don't say another word.
And then he'll flip out. He knows what I've done,
so he doesn't do it so much. And he'll be like,
yeah, of course I didn't mean it like that. And
it's like, well, what? Nobody said you meant
it like that. All I did was repeat what you said.
I was trying to distinguish what you meant. So
you're saying you didn't mean it like that? Well,
why'd you have to defend it? Yeah, that was like
the time that, remember when Trump got booked
and he misrepresented his weight on his booking
form? Oh, yeah, yeah. And all the liberals suddenly
decided fat shaming was okay if it was Donald
Trump, so they all indulged in fat shaming. Yes.
And then I posted a comment saying, I see a bunch
of you out there fat shaming, and I find that
a very interesting thing to know about you. And
the hatred I got from just saying it was an interesting
thing to know about them. Yeah. I mean, there's
no criticism there. I'm not saying don't do it.
I'm not saying what I... I just said it was interesting.
Yeah. And so many people commented with just
flaming hatred. Well, this is... And they're
trying to excuse why fat shaming was okay in
this instance. Yeah. It's like, yeah, well, I
didn't expect much different. Yeah. But that's
a good response is to say, wow, that's an interesting
thing to know about you. I love the way that
ends. It's like, that's interesting to know.
And then they take it upon themselves that you
insulted them. That doesn't mean you insulted
them at all. There's no insult. There's no threat.
It's just a statement that you find something
interesting. Yes. And there's no problem there.
So if they get all bent about it, then they got
a guilty heart. Yeah, yep. And that demonstrates
it when you do what you did or do what I did.
And it works really well because if you point
it out without saying anything derogatory, then
all of a sudden they're explaining themselves
for no reason, which is what you want. Yeah,
then you can hit them with, why do you feel like
you need to justify yourself? I just said it
was interesting. Yeah, I didn't say anything
else. I didn't say you're a dumbass or nothing.
You're the one suddenly coming out all hostile.
All right, next one. Will terrestrial radio be
around in 20 years? Not in its current form.
Not in its current form at all, no. I think it's
all going to be subscription. Yeah, and there
will be some channels that are like public information
or weather emergencies. There'll be the KFIs
and the KCURs, College Station, and the PBS of
radio, whatever you want to call it. I forgot,
NPR. KCUR is the one in town here. Yeah. NPR.
And KFI is independent, I don't know what you,
well, anyhow, it doesn't matter. They suck anyhow.
Yeah, I think the current model, and certainly
the one we grew up with, dead. No. Utterly dead.
Nope. No one wants to listen to the radio when
they can watch the video. Yes. And a lot of people
will wait or they'll just watch the video while
they're driving because they don't care. And
also another thing is nobody on radio is that
interesting anymore. No. So you don't care about
that. It used to be like, hey, Johnny Dolan's
on. Hey, it's 714. Everyone get down here right
now. Get your WHB, Car Star, you know, and all
that stuff. That's a good point. We used to.
arrange our life around the schedule of the radio
or the tv yeah now it's no they have to adapt
to our schedule whenever i feel like i have some
time then i'll turn on the radio or tv and they
better have what i want right then yeah yep that's
that's really how it's going and i don't think
it's ever going back no no no think about how
it used to be everyone woke up and let's go back
to dick and jay on ky 102 okay um everybody talked
about it You know, afterwards. Hey, they said
they're in Sedalia, but I heard they're really
at the studio with sound effects. What? No way.
No, no, no. I heard cars and people yelling.
I think that was staged. Yeah. Or they do something.
They used to be famous for just like pop -up
broadcasts somewhere and stuff like that. Well,
everyone would be talking about that day. Now,
if you've got a radio show doing anything at
all, nobody knows about it. You go, hey, did
you hear so -and -so? Is that a station? Yeah,
yeah, yeah. It's Star 107 or whatever. That doesn't
happen anymore. I like to use my restaurant analogy.
Currently, entertainment is basically on demand.
You say, this is what I want to watch, this is
what I want to listen to, and someone will serve
it to you. That's like going to a restaurant.
You say, I want a hamburger and onion rings and
pickles on the side and a chocolate milkshake,
and they'll make it for you. The way radio has
been is, you know, here's what we have. Hope
you like it. So imagine going to a restaurant
and you just have to eat whatever they've already
made and served. Yeah. And it's like, well, I
really wanted a steak. And they said, well, yeah,
in a couple hours we're going to cook some steak.
Come back then. Yeah. That's how radio is. It
is. And why the hell would you put up with that?
Nobody does. No. No, the listenership, I mean,
is not even half of what it used to be. No. People
have just scattered. You know, and I mean, also,
to kind of defend radio, there are so many choices.
How can you keep up anyhow? I know, yeah. But
nobody's really getting rich on radio anymore.
No, and that's the problem, and that's how come
the talent left and went somewhere else. Yeah.
Is it got to where the advertisers weren't there,
so the shows that were good aren't there anymore.
They went to stuff like this. Yeah. Internet,
streaming. And pretty much at the point where
the on -air talent says, you know, I want this
much per year, they'll say, yeah, you know what?
We'll just get an automated system in here. They'll
do it for you. Yeah, even SiriusXM didn't do
that. They just started getting rid of talent.
They didn't care. I don't know how well they're
doing, but I don't listen to them anymore. I
was listening to this one channel the other day.
I forget which one it was. The woman who was
talking between songs was a total moron. And
she was getting everything wrong and saying completely
wrong information. What was the song? I missed
it. It was a SiriusXM channel. I think it was
Deep Cuts or Classic Rewind. Oh, yeah, yeah,
Classic Rewind. I think it was Cat Steel was
her name or something like that. I know who you're
talking about, yeah. Cleveland, I think. Anyway,
everything out of her mouth was stupid and wrong,
and I thought... This is why nobody cares to
listen. Not only is she dull and boring, but
nothing here is correct. Yeah. And I'm sure what
she did is just had AI pull up some crap for
her to say. Oh, I'm sure. If everyone else is
getting it wrong, AI is getting it wrong too
because they're basing on you. She's using the
wrong program. Yeah. Because look at our songs.
Yeah. Oh, my God. You know, you hardly ever mention
vaping on the show at all. You might have mentioned
it one time. They put that right in the song,
didn't they? They put that right in the song.
They picked out parts that are like highlights,
and they throw them in there. It's just crazy.
It's just like my fridge full of beer. I mentioned
that like once or twice. Caught that, made that,
stressed that point. And then what was it? One
is a fact check fail. I thought that was brilliant.
It's like, that's both of us. Yeah. We'll be
like, oh, shit. Are you sure about that? Let
me check. Oh, wait a minute. I take it back.
Yeah, there have been several times I've read
a story and said, now I look this up and it is
fake. But it's interesting because it is fake.
I still tell it, too. So, yeah. All right. And
finally, on this one, and we can go into the
bullet points after we go to a couple other things
again. I have another set of them, or we can
save them until next week, whatever. Okay. Will
AI take over the personality of radio stations?
Yeah. Yeah, I think they already have. We just
don't know it. Yeah. I think a lot of the voices
that we hear that aren't quite the same as they
used to be, you know, they used to have the voice
guys that were the ID, the signature of the station.
Yeah. Now you hear 10 different people on most
stations. You don't hear just that one guy going,
KY -102. Yeah. You know, you don't hear that.
I'm also hearing on YouTube videos, the person
narrating the YouTube video, I'm starting to
hear the same voice over and over and over. The
same inflection, the same mispronunciations,
the same AI voice. That's how you tell the AI
voice is really well, is because the common sense
concierge, I cannot get the guy to say concierge.
He goes, concierge. And I'm just like, yeah,
fuck it, close enough. And it's like, how can
I spell this to get across that it's not concierge?
And so finally I'm just like, people will get
it. All right, you got something? Yeah. Are you
familiar with Gracie Hunt, the daughter of Chiefs
owner Clark Hunt? Yep. She has announced her
engagement to boyfriend Derek Green. Okay. Gracie,
27, who is the daughter of Kansas City Chiefs
owner Clark Hunt. Trent Green's brother or son?
Oh, is it really? Yep. I was just joking. It's
his son. Announce your engagement to Derek Green,
who is the son of former Super Bowl champion
quarterback Trent Green. In a joint Instagram
post. Oh, he would be a Super Bowl champion over
in St. Louis. That's right. Okay. He was on injured
reserve at the time, but Kurt Warner won the
trophy. Yeah, Kurt Warner did. I think on that
team, Trent Green would have done it too, but
anyhow. But in a joint Instagram post on Saturday,
April 4th, Derek, 26, proposed to Gracie at an
outdoors altar that had been decorated with white
flowers. The couple was joined by their loved
ones for a heartwarming moment, including Gracie's
dad, Clark, 61, and mom, Tavia, 54, as well as
Derek's parents, Trent, 55, and Julie Green,
who wouldn't give a rage. Everybody else gave
a rage. Julie Green's like, nope. Well, one thing
about Trent Green is everybody I know that knew
him or still knows him or ran into him said he
is the most humble, polite, nice, down -to -earth
guy they've ever met. Decent guy, yeah. A decent
guy. Which is great. Yeah. The group was pictured
filming the proposal on their phones and clapping
in celebration. Everyone gave them a round of
clap. That was nice. Good. I don't know about
giving someone clap. A close -up photo showing
Gracie's emerald -cut engagement ring encrusted
with white diamonds along with the band and one
emerald green stone to reflect her new last name.
Cool. I like that. Nice little touch. So emerald
cut and one emerald green stone because her last
name's going to be green. Oh, I like that. So
there you go. All right. Very cool. I think it's
really cool that kind of... royalty if you will
because trent green never left kansas city which
i really appreciate yeah you know he's like uh
he's kind of like glenn dawson did you know he's
like i could go anywhere but i'm staying here
i think bill kenney stuck around for a while
he did he became a senator yeah his political
career didn't take off so i think he left after
that yeah is he still alive i think he is i believe
he is yeah i like bill kenney because He was
a lower draft pick, but he did better than all
the higher draft picks that we ever had. And
the guy was tough. I mean, he fought really hard.
He could be argued like before Mahomes, he was
our best quarterback draft pick. Yeah, I think
he was. Because Fuller and Blackledge and all
those guys, none of them worked the high draft
picks. Yeah, and Dawson wasn't drafted. Nope,
nope, not by us. Yeah. Anyway, oh, got an interesting
story here about Troy Aikman. And how he is all
in for the Dolphins now. Ake my ears. Yes. Yeah,
Troy, ache my ears. All right, now this is from
a story from Mike Florio. So if I start quoting
him extensively, I want to give him credit. Okay.
There was a time when the Cowboys beat the Dolphins
in the Super Bowl. But if the two teams somehow
cross paths in the championship game in the not
-too -distant future, Cowboys Hall of Fame Troy
Aikman will definitely have a dog in the fight.
In an interview with Clarence E. Hill Jr. of
DLLS, D -L -L -S sports. Aikman made it clear
that he's now all in for the Dolphins. It's still
not clear, however, what Aikman will be actually
doing for the Dolphins. Aikman explained that
he was approached by Dolphins to assist with
the general manager search. Then he was asked
to help find a new head coach. Now he'll be sticking
around. Quote, I'll continue to help in ways
that are yet to be defined, Aikman said. While
Aikman's specific role is to be determined, the
thinking is that Aikman can help the effort in
the same way that Tom Brady is helping the Raiders.
It is similar in one important respect that continues
to be glossed over by the league and the broadcast
networks. While calling games for all 32 teams,
Aikman now has a clear interest in the success
of one of them. and he apparently has plans to
leverage the thing he learns in his primary job
to assist the performance of his second job,
exactly what Tom Brady's doing. Uh -huh. Quote,
I think the Dolphins were wise in understanding
my relationship around the league, Aikman said,
and knowing that I have information that they
don't have or can't get. Remember that phrase,
information that they don't have or can't get.
Which leads me to believe like they shouldn't
be having, I mean, and Tom Brady too, both of
them should not be having. Continuing, he says,
I think they were smart in taking advantage of
that, whether it was through me or through somebody
else. I don't feel there's a conflict, but I
will say I'm pulling for the Dolphins because
now I have something at stake. Him saying that
is a conflict. He said it right out loud. He
said, I think they hired two really talented,
wonderful people, and I think that's going to
prove itself out. But, yeah, I'm pulling for
them. I want to see them do well because I feel
like my fingerprints are honored as well. Well,
I'm glad he's so convinced. Yeah. I want to see
this turnaround before I say anything, and I
don't think it's going to happen. We'll see.
Well, anyhow. It continues. While there may be
no direct conflict with the Cowboys until they
play the Dolphins, the conflict of interest between
Aikman's main job as a broadcaster and his side
job is clear. And it will become an issue the
moment Aikman shows up to visit another team's
facility and or attend the team's practice, especially
if that team is on Miami's 2026 schedule. As
to Aikman's dual role, the league has said it
will address the situation, quote, at the appropriate
time. In the interim, Aikman will be in the draft
room with the Dolphins, further cementing the
fact that he's on the payroll and working to
advance the team's interest over all the other
teams. cut this sometime they're gonna isn't
it yes it's becoming anyhow go ahead it said
having a slice of equity doesn't matter i mean
brady owns part of the raiders acheman doesn't
own any of the dolphins but he is on the payroll
of the dolphins yeah he wants the dolphins to
win they've hired him as acheman said due to
the fact that he has information they don't have
or can't get there's that phrase again his two
jobs have clearly conflicting interests One employer
will expect him to gather information that will
help him perform that job to the best of his
abilities. Which is the broadcast. Why doesn't
the rest of the league complain? I know. The
other employee will expect that information gathered
in the first job to be shared for strategic purposes
in his second job. That's bullshit. I know. So,
Aikman is right about one thing. If the league
is going to allow teams to hire broadcasters
to funnel information that they don't have or
can't get, there's that phrase again, then every
team should be smart enough to do it, shouldn't
they? And it all goes back to Brady's dual role.
And incidentally, Brady has shown that he doesn't
mind about cheating, doesn't he? Not at all.
Now, the moment the league shrugged at Brady
working as Fox's number one analyst, and owning
a piece of the Raiders, a bridge was crossed.
Aikman is merely the second guy across that bridge.
Unless the league burns that bridge down, any
team that doesn't follow suit will be a competitive
disadvantage. So I was thinking, Cowboys ought
to hire Tony Romo. Yeah, why not? And milk him
for everything. Yeah. Chiefs ought to hire Kevin
Harlan. Yeah. the Bengals ought to hire Chris
Collinsworth. I agree. And just milk them for
every bit of information they get during their
regular job. Yeah. Every team is going to have
to do it or they're going to be suffering. It
makes me wonder if they're not already paying
certain people to do that anyhow. Yeah. And the
league knows it, and the only way they can get
around it without a big hubbub is to go, well,
we're just going to have people own part and,
you know. Yeah. And they have teams hire them.
And then they're off the hook. They're going
to go, well, it's going on anyhow. But, you know,
this kind of feeds into the idea that the league
isn't exactly on the up and up anyway. And that
this information doesn't matter because the games
are pretty much fixed. Well, definitely influenced.
It's a really weird situation. Wow, those jalapenos
are something else. Mm -hmm. They give you a
lot of them, too. Yeah. My God. Okay. Next time
I'll know to order an extra plate. Yeah. And
also extra napkins. You can just wipe our hands
on this towel. Okay. I need to wash this anyway.
All right. So, like I said, I think that the
teams are doing that anyhow. And that's simply
going to be the way the NFL is getting around.
Well, the team started hiring people anyhow,
so we're just going to let it happen. There's
not much we can do about it. There's nothing
in the provisions that says you can't do it.
And then that's our route. For all we know, the
teams are already hiring camera operators and
sound engineers from the networks because they're
going to be in on all those secret meetings too.
Well, we know what New England did. Yep. They
went around filming. Mmm. And the sad thing is,
is they got away with it. Yep. Remember when
Baker Mayfield was playing in Cleveland and he
wouldn't tell anybody that he was hurt? Everyone
just thought he was playing like shit? Yeah.
He did the same thing last year. I know he did.
But now his teammates are talking about it. Or
ex -teammates. So, Buccaneers quarterback Baker
Mayfield. He does have a reputation for playing
through anything. And in last season, he may
have been playing through everything. Retired
Tampa Bay linebacker Levante David recently opened
up about Baker's many bumps and bruises during
last season on his appearance on a show called
The Arena. Quote, the season's over now. I can
talk about it, David said. Baker had a lot of
injuries that you didn't expect from a quarterback
to play through. He had the oblique injury, he
had the shoulder injury, he had a lot of things.
You know, the ankle injury, the knee injury.
He was really trying to push through. Mayfield
started all 17 games. He was listed as questionable
twice. In week four, questionable with a right
bicep. Week 13, questionable with a left shoulder.
In all, Mayfield appeared on the injury report
for 10 out of the 17 games. Week three, foot
and toe. Week four, right bicep. Week 5, right
knee and bicep. Week 8, knee. Week 10, knee and
oblique. Week 12, illness. Week 13, left shoulder.
Week 14, left shoulder. Week 15, left shoulder.
Week 18, right shoulder and knee. Now, where's
the ankle injury that Devontae David mentioned?
It's nowhere in that list. And that right there
is against the rules. Yep. As it goes on, that's
just the stuff that was listed. If he didn't
get treatment and or otherwise kept it to himself.
it wouldn't have been listed, like the ankle
injury. Mayfield is tough, determined, and able
to play through injury, but the team should know
so it can make a call. If and when the team thinks
that a backup at 100 % would be better than Mayfield
at less than 100%, they should be able to make
that choice and make that decision. Yes. So if
the player is telling the team... yeah, I'm hurt,
I'm at this level, then that's okay. But if he's
lying to the team, he's screwing up with everybody
else's chance to win that season. You see, I
used to go, oh, Baker Mayfield's so tough, I
really, really admire him. Now I don't. I don't
view him like that at all. No. Nope. It's selfish.
If he's injured, get him out of there. This is
the same thing that Peyton Manning did when he
played in Denver. Yeah. I think it was even a
playoff game. It was. Playoffs. He was injured,
he wasn't able to go, he knew it, but he lied
to the coach, lied to the training staff because
he didn't want to give up the start. Yes. And
he played, and he played like shit, and they
lost. Yeah, I remember that. And he screwed the
whole rest of the team out of a chance to advance
to the playoffs because he was so selfish. He's
like, no, either I play or we all go down in
flames. Yes. What an asshole. That's why I look
at it, too. So, yeah, the whole Mayfield thing
is now that's how I look at it is it's bullshit.
You need to tell the team. You need to let them
know. Damn. All right. You want to hear some
Super Bowl odds for next year? Oh, yeah. All
right. Give you a chance to eat here. Believe
it or not, that was about half of them. That's
a lot. Yeah. All right. We're talking about nachos
we got from River House. River House nachos are
the best nachos, aren't they? And you know what
I really love about it is they use the Spanish
Gardens taco sauce, the stuff we all grew up
on. You can taste it in there. That's the best.
It is. They're not stupid here. They know what
they're doing. Then I noticed they have a pretty
good selection of beers. And also, I noticed
that it's not just Pepsi products. They also
have Coke products there. Wow. And other products,
too, that you can, you know, for drinks. And
they also have a full bar. And they have specialty
cocktails. They have a specialty cocktail menu.
Ah. So River House is a place to go. And also,
I'd like to add that this place here, Rock Island
Bridge, is also still developing. There's going
to be a coffee house and a lot of other... a
lot of other businesses here by the time it's
all said and done. It's just that Riverhouse
happened to be the first one here. It's kind
of like their anchor. And it's a really nice
place. And they have the American Royal Hall,
which is right next to us right here. Yep. And
that would be a good place to get married or
whatever, you know. Yeah, they rent it out for
all sorts of things. Yeah, swingers, convention,
whatever. I don't know. I'm making that up. I'm
making that up. I don't know that they do that.
Pretty sure they go for family -friendly only.
I think they do, too. It's also pet -friendly.
Yep. So, you know, you want to bring your dog,
as long as it doesn't shit and piss everywhere,
I guess it's okay. Yeah, I don't think I'll bring
Paisley along one of these times. Yeah, that'd
be great. Yeah. Yeah, he has a studio. She has
a studio named after her. She does. Yeah, so,
I mean, we don't have a studio named after us.
No. I mean, unless you want to count talk is
cheap, that could be named after me, I guess.
None of my kids are even named after me. Oh,
wow, I didn't even think about that. That's true.
All right, Super Bowl odds as of April of 2026,
actually about a week and a half ago. No, no,
no, that would have been March. about a week
ago. It was like the second. They didn't do it
on the first because it seemed like a joke. So,
all right, this was put out, and I believe this
was NFL .com, if I read it correctly. I mean,
if I'm wrong, I apologize. You know what, I don't
give a shit if I'm wrong. Okay, the number one
weighing in, and I found this odd because usually
the Super Bowl winner will be the favorite until
proven otherwise. Yeah. You know, unless they
go in the season and they start just like falling
apart. Yeah. They're going to pretty much be
the favorite the following year, but they're
not this year. Oh, wow. The Los Angeles Rams
have lapped them, and they're ahead, and that's
because of all their acquisitions, which the
Chiefs are very familiar with. Yeah. With, was
it McDuffie and Watson? McDuffie and Watson.
Watson both leaving. Very good. Very good defensive
players. So, the Rams with a revamped defense
is checking in at number one, plus 150 to plus
850. The Seahawks, the defending champions, checking
in at plus 800 to plus 950. I mean, it isn't
that far off, but I found it odd. Now, this is
one I don't necessarily agree with because, number
one, I don't think they did anything that much.
And I've got to wait to see their draft first.
The Buffalo Bills. Oh, yeah. Check in at plus
1 ,000. Wow. The Eagles, which I don't agree
with either because they have a lot of turmoil
going on right now. Whether it be their star
wide receiver to Jalen Hurts. You know, I mean,
yeah. So, Baltimore Ravens are equal. with the
Bills, plus 1 ,000. The Chiefs are, and I said
the Eagles first because I missed the Ravens.
I'm sorry. So it goes like this in order. The
Rams, Seahawks, Bills, Ravens. The Bills and
Ravens are tied at plus 1 ,000. Philadelphia
is next at plus 1 ,400 to plus 1 ,700. And right
behind them is the Kansas City Chiefs at plus
14 to plus 16. So they really kind of have the
Chiefs. I mean, the plus 16 is less than the
plus 17, so I'm going to go ahead and say the
Chiefs are probably, even though they didn't
put it in this order, favored a little bit ahead
of the Eagles right now. Yeah. And then you have
the 49ers, a plus 15 to plus 19. And the, well,
yeah, they should probably be, yeah. I mean,
again, you're going to have to have a non -hurt
Brock Purdy. Yeah. You're going to have to have
a non -hurt Christian McCaffrey. Yeah. You're
going to have to have the defensive side of it
playing very well. So, I mean, I believe all
that's achievable. They did good last year again,
and they're always in it. So I would think this
probably, for the most part, except for the bills
being so high, I think it's pretty accurate.
Yeah. And, you know, the Los Angeles Rams, I
mean, even though they usually favor the incumbent,
I kind of get where they're coming from. Yeah,
I think if Seattle hadn't lost Kenneth Walker,
they might have edged out the Rams. I think you're
right. And also, they didn't really make all
the defensive improvements that the Rams did.
Plus, it's important to remember that these aren't
predictions of who's going to win the Super Bowl.
These are predictions of who's going to bet.
on which team. That's important to say right
there. It's not a prediction of the winner. It's
a prediction on how people are going to bet.
Are you done with these? Yeah, they're tearing
me up. I didn't know if you liked them or not.
I gave you half of them. They're nice. They're
really hot. They are very good. I wish they would
have made some tamer ones that would have worked
better, but oh well. Jalapenos. The idea behind
setting the odds is that no matter who bets on
what, the bookie will make money. Yes. So it's
not a prediction of the outcome. It's a prediction
on how the gambling is going to go. Yeah. So
that means they expect a lot of people to bet
on the Rams. That's why they've got the lowest
odds. And that will happen. That will happen,
especially when they see the acquisitions, like
our guys going there and all that, and the trade.
Yeah. I think the day after the draft, people
are going to start laying bets big time. Mm -hmm.
Well, I like the Chiefs' approach, and their
approach is still they don't overpay for somebody,
especially defensive. They always get them in
the draft. They've been doing great, and Noel
Williams is someone to look out for. And there's
a couple other players, defensive players, that
are young that are looking really good as well.
So I'm kind of thinking the Chiefs did pretty
good. Yeah. They have a number 9 and a number,
what is it? 28. 28, yeah. Yeah, and they could
always trade down or trade up. Yeah. So, all
right. I'd like to see them not trade up for
any reason, at least especially first round.
I'd be perfectly fine if they traded out of the
number nine spot. Well, I think that's going
to depend if Reuben Bain. Yeah, I think so too.
Or actually a guy from Texas Tech's kind of lapped
him because for some reason they're really worried
about Bain's arm length. Yeah. Really worried
about it. Yeah. I've always contested. If you
have that move and you can get there, you're
there. That extra seven, eight inches might make
a difference every now and then. But I think
if you've got the talent, I don't think it's
going to be overwhelmingly like, oh, this guy
is not nearly as good. Yeah, that's a good point.
Why alter your plans based on something that
might happen once or twice a season? Oh, he'll
need that extra reach. Well, okay, what about
the whole rest of the time? If he's kicking ass
the whole rest of the time. Yeah, that's what
I'm saying, too. I think Bane, I mean, after
what I've seen of him and everything, I think
he's a good choice. And also the guy from Texas
Tech, either one of them will work, but I think
the number nine is contingent on how things go
there. I think if both their guys are gone, they're
edge rusher, and there's not someone that they're
spying that they put out fake information on,
I think you'll see them go back. I think you'll
see them trade down and get a couple, two or
three picks for that number nine. Yeah, yeah.
I think I'd rather see them trade down for picks
rather than the player. I think so too. I think
at our point here where the big guys, the guys
that we really, really are depending on, it's
pretty much set. Yeah. But that edge rusher is
not set, and that's why we need them. An edge
rusher is someone you can put a rookie in, no
problem. Yeah. But for the most part, you're
drafting depth in the future of your team. Yes.
You're not drafting for this season necessarily.
Yeah. So I like that. I mean, you know. Yeah.
So I've got some bullet points, or do you have
something? I've got a short story about Kirk
Cousins and his signing with the Raiders. Okay.
The Raiders found a way to funnel $20 million
to quarterback Kirk Cousins for 2026. while also
sticking the Kalkins with $8 .7 million of the
bill. Oh, okay. Even though I don't like the
Raiders, that is kind of funny. This is kind
of funny. The issue comes from a fully guaranteed
$10 million obligation for 2026. That sun's warm.
Oh, it feels good. It is, yeah. So this fully
guaranteed $10 million obligation, which was
vested when Cousins remained on the Atlanta roster
through March of 2025. Cousins having, well,
I think they meant 2026. Probably. With Cousins
having a 2026 market value in excess of $10 million,
the Falcons may have thought they'd avoid paying
any of the final $10 million. However, the Raiders
had another plan. By giving Cousins a league
minimum of $1 .3 million salary in 2026 and a
fully guaranteed $10 million roster bonus due
in March of 2027. The Raiders found a way to
give Cousins $20 million total while only paying
$11 .3 million of it. Oh, wow. And the Falcons
have to pay the remaining $8 .7 million. Wow.
Isn't that smart? That is smart. Oh, wow. Look
at that plate of food from the River House. That's
yummy. Oh, my God. It smells so good. Oh, it
does. If you haven't been here, you guys need
to get your ass down here and order from this
place. Oh, it's good. Yep. And that barbecue
smoke. It is good. Okay, to finish up, the precise
language of Cousins' deal has yet to surface,
but it's believed the contract will result in
Cousins being released after one season. That
would, in theory, allow him to do the same thing
next year, getting a minimum from the new team
and forcing the Raiders to pay the balance and
adding a fully guaranteed roster bonus for 2028.
So the Raiders are sticking the Falcons with
it this year, but the Raiders might get stuck
with it next year. I kind of think they're going
to. Yeah, the way that was worded is they're
going to get them this year, but next year all
bets are off. Yeah, and if no one signs them
next year, then what's done is done. Okay, cool.
All right. Oh, wow. I didn't know this, but you
know, they text you when your order's ready down
there at the River House. I could have came up
here and waited, but it was ready so quick. It
didn't matter. Yeah. Yeah. I love the Spanish
gardens with the meat that they give you in the
nachos. What a great idea. So tasty. Yep. So
do you want to go into some bullet points here,
or do you want to do something else? All I've
got left is some silly laws that are still on
the books in Kansas. Go ahead. Since we're in
Kansas, I thought it fit pretty well. I like
that idea. Go ahead and do it. I think that's
entertaining. And how long do we have on this?
We have about an hour and a half. Okay, cool.
And then after that, we can go ahead and cut
the show and go to the music creeps. Sounds good.
Okay, good. Alright, so here are some laws that
are still on the books in Kansas. Some of these
are statewide, some of these are just for different
localities, cities. Number one, in Kansas, you
cannot use mules to hunt ducks. Oh, that's bullshit.
I do it all the time. Now, they weren't really
sure, are you using mules to actively go after
the ducks? Are you riding the mules? Are you
sending the mules in to scare up the ducks? I
would say riding, but I don't know. I mean, I
don't think it's going in after the ducks. I
wouldn't think. Yeah, the mules would be kind
of like, they'd be there an hour later. Okay.
And also, now this is in Lawrence, still on the
books. You may not wear a live bee in your hat.
Okay. I guess I can do with that. I don't necessarily
want to. Okay. Now, some of these are silly on
this face up, and some of them you think, why
in the world did they bother to make that law?
Apparently, there were a lot of people going
around with live bees in their hats. I guess.
You know what I'm thinking? Okay. Think Minnie
Pearl. Oh, you're right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And
you have the little daisy hanging off. I'll bet
you bees. There were a lot more bees back then.
They're disappearing off the face of the earth.
They are. Yeah, Monsanto. Oh, wait, did I say
Atlanta? I don't know anything about Monsanto.
I don't know. Allegedly, I don't know. I don't
believe it at all. It was this guy we grew up
with, Fred Monsanto. Yeah, yeah. No connection
with the chemical company. He used to kill bees
all the time. Yeah, yeah. That's who we were
talking about. Yes, yes. Okay. I can see bees
being attracted to that. Someone that's allergic
comes up. They didn't have EpiPens. Yeah, true.
Someone gets bit. You know, stung. Not bit. Yeah,
they don't bite. And then they die, and they're
like, no more bees. No more bees. You've got
to inspect your flowers. Yes. I get it. Okay.
All right. In Lang, Kansas, which is an unincorporated
town not too far from Emporia, it is illegal
to ride a mule down Main Street unless the mule
is wearing a straw hat. I agree with that 100%.
That poor mule needs a little shade from the
sun. I mean, yeah. And also, who doesn't love
a mule with a straw hat? Yeah. It's impossible
not to fall in love with that. It'd be like,
oh, look at him. He's got a straw hat. All right.
In Derby, Kansas. I know where that's at. It
is illegal to screech your tires. And that's
the way you worded it, screech your tires. Not
burn out, not smoke. Well, they were big. Oh,
damn it. I can't think of the name of it now.
Saved by the Bell. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Screech.
Screech, yeah. They named it after him. They
loved screech. Yeah, yeah. Dustin Diamond. Dustin
Diamond, yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They loved it.
But just to be clear, if you screech your tires
now, initially you think, oh, it's when you floor
it. burnout is that, well, it's also for braking.
If you lock your wheels up and they screech,
you'll get a ticket. If you're going around a
curve too fast and your tires make a little screeching
noise, you'll get a ticket. Not one single sound
out of your tires in Derby, Kansas. Did somebody
have a migraine? It must have been. Yeah, they're
like, we've got to do something about all this
noise. Someone named Karen. Yes. I guess Jessica
is the new one. It is, that's right. I'm still
a Karen fan. I like that name used more, but
Jessica is close. Also in Derby, Kansas, you
may not ride any animal on any road. Not even
a horse? Damn it. Not even a horse. That was
my plans. Also in Derby, you may not strike,
punch, or kick any vending machine that stole
your money. Oh, now that's low. Everybody deserves
the right to punch a vending machine that took
their money. I mean, that's like a rite of passage,
you know? When did you beat up your first vending
machine while I was 12? I can remember clearly.
You didn't give me my damn chunky bar, man. I
was 11 1⁄2, and I had to wiggle a bag of potato
chips free. Yeah, it was quite a bit of work,
but I got it. Yeah, I'm old enough to remember
when the vending machines didn't have the safety
features to where you could stick your arm up
inside it and get what you wanted. Yes, I remember.
Yep. Yep. Got many a free baby roost like that.
Yes. Allegedly. Allegedly. Okay, statewide in
Kansas, you may not shoot rabbits from a motorboat.
I used to do that all the time. Okay, all right.
Taking all the fun out of life. Very specific.
Now, sailboat, I guess it's okay. Yeah, yeah.
Paddleboat? Yeah. Or if you're in a motorboat,
you could shoot, like, squirrels and possums
and raccoons. What if you got a floater on? Could
you just float around and shoot them? Yeah, because
it specifically says motorboat. Okay, all right.
Well, there you guys go. If you want to do that,
there's your way out. Yeah, there. All right.
In Russell, Kansas, musical car horns are banned.
I'm Bob Dole. Yep. I'm Bob Dole. I'm Bob Dole.
I'm Bob Dole. So no musical car horns, the ones
that sing Cucaracha or Dixie or any of that.
Well, they are obnoxious. They are incredibly
obnoxious. They are so annoying. Okay, I think
I agree with that. And nobody thinks they're
fun or cool. No, no, no. Nobody. Whoever does
that is a complete fucking tool bag and we all
know it. In Topeka, no one may whistle or sing
on the streets at night. Absolutely. It's bullshit.
Do you think they were trying to, like, eliminate
street performers? That's the only reason I could
see why they would care. Or maybe Topeka was
overrun with juggalos at one point. Probably
both. Circus, clown, jam -lugging kind of weirdos.
Well, everybody knows juggalos originated in
Topeka. Yeah. And ICP, that's their home base.
There's a reason that Topeka's zip code starts
with 666. Yes. That's not a coincidence. There's
some sort of a satanic church out there, I thought,
or something that's gathering a lot of attention.
Yeah, aren't they the ones that used to go protest
at gay people's funerals? Oh, those two, those
two, those two, yeah. Shit, what is the name
of that one? The Westboro Baptist Church, was
that it? Yeah, that's it. The main guy died.
He did, but his kids are just as evil. His kids
are just as evil, yeah. So maybe they were the
ones behind getting 666 as the city's zip code.
Yeah, yeah, even though they say they're an agent
of God. Okay, yeah, sure, whatever. Yeah, the
guy who ran that place was a lawyer first, and
then one day he decided, I'm going to try making
money as a charismatic preacher and tell idiot
people what to do. And people make fun of Scientology.
Yeah. And it should be making fun of, in my opinion.
In Germany, it's considered a cult. And it's
illegal. I get it. I wonder why liberals in this
country aren't protesting that. That's not on
the agenda. Their phone didn't tell them to.
Their phone didn't tell them to. Gotcha. I understand.
They watched CNN and it didn't mention them,
so that's not hot, but no. Well, that's true.
Liberals... nowadays tend not to even think they
just wait for somebody to tell them what they're
angry about they do yeah yeah you know i remember
a time when being a liberal actually meant something
yes and you bet you stood for something yeah
you weren't just a joke but you know the liberal
movement in this country has allowed themselves
to be taken over by idiots and morons so the
thing that gets me is i mean listen i have a
lot of gay friends i love the hell out of them
i have some of my best friends are gay great
people, awesome people, all of them that I know.
Well, there's one of them that's a dick, but
the rest of them are really nice. They're just
like anybody. The thing is, is supporting groups
that would kill you because you're gay, they
would drag you along the streets, and I hear
them saying this stuff, and I'm like, yeah, it's
like, don't you know how they feel about your
lifestyle? It's like chickens coming out in favor
of Kentucky Fried Chicken. Yeah, yeah. Well,
that's what the union used to say. Yeah. And
I used to tell them they were fucked. I'd go,
a working man that votes Republican is like a
chicken that votes for Colonel Sanders. I was
like, okay, guys, save that for people that don't
think. Yeah. You know, I know that everybody
is on their own merit. These people may not know
that, but I do. Yeah. Anyhow. Yeah, I... Excuse
me, I don't like to... identify people as all
the same because they're in this group and i
don't like joining groups because i really really
really like taking people individually me too
which is why i try to avoid labels you know i
don't call myself you know conservative or independent
or liberal or republican or libertarian or whatever
all those labels could mean something i like
libby's on the label Yeah, I like it. I like
it on my table, table, table. I agree. Google
it. Anyhow, go ahead. So, you know, I tend to
insult liberals because I'm thinking about people
who are stupid enough to just turn over all their
free will to some group. Those are the people
we're talking about. So if anyone gets offended,
that's on you. Yeah. Okay. I mean, you can have
a person with liberal ideas and liberal opinions,
but to label yourself as a liberal basically
means, I don't want to think, just tell me what
to do. And the same people who would declare,
well, I'm a conservative. Well, you've given
up on thinking then. Yes, you can. Say, I'm a
person and I have some political opinions and
some of them are conservative. Yes. That's a
better way to say it. I am all over the place.
I'm a Republican. I'm a Democrat. Okay, you're
a non -thinking fool then. You're letting someone
use you. I would be lying if I said I was either.
Yeah. Because I'm all over the damn place on
everything. It depends on what it is. So, you
know, there's certain things that I cannot get
in line with, and there's other things that I
think is perfectly acceptable and should be done.
And I think that anybody that just does the short
-form ballot, the line -item ballot, is an idiot.
My granny Hughes was that way. She was Republican
and she said, I'll just pull the lever that says
Republican and vote Republican all down the ticket.
Even for the people that were lying saying they're
conservative. I remember my mom challenged her
once and said, if the Republican Party nominated
a chimpanzee, would you vote for him? And she
shot right back, well, hell yeah. If the Republican
Party thought that that was a qualified candidate,
hell yeah, I'd vote for him. A lot more trusting
than me. So Granny Hughes just didn't even want
to think. She's like, oh, they have an R after
their name? I like them. They have anything else
after their name? They're evil. I'll put it like
this. George W. Bush. Yeah. A lot of people loved
him. Yep. I thought he wasn't that good. He was
kind of a big business guy. He claimed that he
was a little man. He claimed that he was this
farmer in Texas going out clearing brush and
all that. But everything that he did looked to
me like it was geared towards big business and
squashing the little man. Same way with Reagan.
People love Ronald Reagan. Listen, defense, he
was the best. Man, he was so brilliant. Personally,
the deregulation of these corporations is where
we're at now because of him. Yeah, you look back
at where things changed in Reagan's presidency
is where a hell of a lot of things suddenly turned
a whole new direction. How about mental health?
He erased all of that. And now look where we're
at. So anybody that tells me that Reagan was
one of the best presidents ever? In a few ways.
In some ways, yes. In a few ways, yeah. Defensively,
in going against Russia in the Cold War, he was
fucking brilliant. He bankrupted the Soviet Union.
Yeah. Yeah. Now, there was a contingent in the
Soviet Union that was going to say, you know,
if the West is going to defeat us and bankrupt
us and if we can't survive, then we'll just launch
all our nukes because we're not going to let
them take it and have everything. If we can't
get it, then we'll just burn it all down. And
Reagan knew that was a possibility, but he went
ahead. And fortunately for us, the Nuke the World
faction in the Soviet Union never got a chance.
Yeah. Well, right now, I've been reading about
how Putin is really, really fearing another coup.
Yeah. And the reason is because the anti -war
sentiment is really growing over there. And they're
tired of it. They're like, you know, you're spending
all this money on something that we don't really
care about. It seems really odd that Putin is
not playing up the neo -Nazi element because
Ukraine is full of neo -Nazis, and they have
a massive problem with it. He might be afraid
to. It may be so. We don't know how long their
reach is. Yeah. Their reach probably goes into
Russia, well into Russia. Yeah. So he's probably
got to be careful about that, just like the Olegards.
He's got to be really careful with them. True,
yeah. They quit diving mysteriously. Any of them
could finance a coup and get Putin's ass thrown
right out. And I think he knows this, and I think
that's one of the things going on right now.
I would think. That's going on over there. But
the thing is, will he ever get afraid enough
to launch? He does. I think he's crazy enough.
Let's hope not. I always go on the assumption
that even the most... well informed of us only
knows about 10 of what's really going on yeah
so whatever you think is going on anytime yeah
whatever you think is going on in this uh russian
ukrainian war you know very very little of the
reality so we can all have an opinion but Well,
I mean, it depends on who you read and what you
read it from. Yeah. You know, do they owe Russia
all this land and money, or do they not? Who's
saying this? Yeah, you don't know what media
outlet is actually owned by the Russian government.
Don't. You're listening to it, and they're telling
you stuff. You're like, oh, I believe them. Yeah.
Okay. Yep, which is a problem here in America,
too. You know, that's starting to be my response
to a lot of people when they tell me things.
Well, so -and -so said, I read on this that this
is it. And my response is, and you believe them?
What I do a lot of times now is I'll just fact
check. Yep. And I'll make sure that I know all
the facts. And then I started noticing that most
people that blindly repeat people didn't even
look at the facts. And when you present it to
them, they don't say, oh, okay, I'm sorry, I
guess I didn't look at it at all. They shut up.
Yep. And they don't want to admit that they just
blindly followed somebody. So, anyhow, go ahead
with the list. Yeah, you can also say, like,
well, just because somebody told me something
doesn't mean I believe it. And then you point
out that everything they're telling you is something
that somebody told them. Yes. Well, somebody
told me that Trump is this, and somebody told
me that Alaska is this, and somebody told me
that microplastics are... Okay, this is all the
stuff that you've chosen to believe because there's
a bunch of people telling you other things too.
Because if they tell you something you don't
believe, you're going to be the first one to
argue with it. Yeah. Oh, that's hogwash. So anyhow,
go ahead with the rest. All right. Also in Topeka,
dead deer may not be transported across Kansas
Avenue. Yeah, that's a huge problem. Yeah. Yeah.
I mean, I did it a couple of times. I got admit
when I was younger. Yeah. Yeah. But then I kind
of. Took a look at it and thought, you know,
I probably shouldn't be doing this. I'm guessing
maybe it was to, like, control the spread of
disease. Probably, I guess. To specifically say,
okay, Kansas Avenue, right down in the middle
of Topeka, that's your borderline. You can't
cross there. That must have been where all the
politicians lived. We don't want that disease
here. It came away from Kansas Avenue. What's
more likely is, say, all the good deer hunting
is south. of Kansas Avenue. Oh, yeah. But the
deer processor who's taking all your money lives
on the north side of Kansas Avenue. So you passed
this law and then you opened up a deer processing
state south of Kansas Avenue. That's probably
what happened. Yeah. Yep, yep, yep. See, a lot
of these laws are designed to provide... Boss
Tom's processing. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's
there to provide corruption opportunities. Johnny
Lazea's processing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Go ahead.
So here's an alleged story. A business bought
a building in Leawood. And the former tenant
of the building sold it and moved out. And then
this new business moved in. And like right away,
the city of Leawood says, OK, you're going to
have to put up fences to hide your backup generator
and power. And you're going to have to do fence
this place in. You have to block this from view.
All these restrictions all of a sudden that the
previous business somehow didn't have to obey.
It's because they were bribing the right person
in Leawood City government. Yeah. And then this
new business moves in, and somebody from the
government probably came and said, all right,
here's how much I want per month to let you do
all this and this and this. And the business
probably said, screw you. So they came back and
said, all right, well, now we're just going to,
you have to do this, you have to do this, because
you wouldn't bribe them. And those laws are on
the books. So you can solicit a bribe to let
people get away with not following them. And
that's probably half the laws, allegedly, in
Leawood. Some of them are there to protect property
values. The others are there to be just obstructionist
laws that you can get around by bribing the right
person. And that's another way Leawood makes
money is the influx of bribes. Last one for Topeka.
It is illegal to serve wine in teacups. And,
you know, I always drink wine out of teacups.
Me too, all the time. I put my little pinky up.
Yeah, yeah, me too. Even though it makes me a
pussy, I don't care. I still do. Statewide in
Kansas, it is illegal to catch any fish with
your bare hands. So no noodling. No noodling.
I say that because a lot of people die. And a
lot of fish get killed. Yes. You know, you reach
in, you grab something, you pull it out, and
it's not big enough to be legally taken, so you
dump it and it dies anyway. Yeah. It's bullshit.
Yeah, it is. But the way they phrase it as bear
hands means, I guess, if you put gloves on, you're
okay? I guess so. Or if you don't have the hands
of a bear, maybe you have the hands of a walrus.
Maybe you can use those. Yeah, I got the hands
of a chimp, so I'd probably get away with it.
All right, and last but not least, in Natoma,
Kansas, it is illegal to throw knives at men
in striped suits. Man, they're taking all the
fun out of life. Who doesn't love doing that
on a Sunday morning? So I guess that means women
in striped suits, you can throw all the knives
you want. Yeah, well, yeah, yeah, of course.
Or any of the other 19 1⁄2 other genders there
are, you can just throw knives at them. Yeah,
yeah, yeah. Only men are protected. Did they
them there that they all get thrown at? Yeah.
Yes, yeah, yep. You have to be wearing a striped
seat. Oh, yeah. It's got polka dots. Yeah, that's
the other caveat. You can't throw knives at a
polka dot. Yeah, flowery, you know, floral. No,
can't do it. No. So, good old Kansas. Yeah. Yep.
All right. Good old Kansas. All right. Thank
you, Topher. All right. Should we go ahead and
end this show and get into the music creeps?
Let's do it. All righty. Everybody, thank you
for listening. I mean, the numbers, for real,
the numbers are exploding. They really are. We
appreciate it. And we are getting much better.
We're finally getting to the point where we feel
this is what we wanted all along. So thank you
all for listening. And that being said, we appreciate
it so much. Thank you so much. Go fuck yourself.