WEBVTT

00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:02.220
The following program is brought to you by All

00:00:02.220 --> 00:00:07.519
Star Pest Solutions. Call 913 -738 -7827. Ask

00:00:07.519 --> 00:00:12.439
for Joe, the bug guy. Oh my! What am I going

00:00:12.439 --> 00:00:16.120
to do? The cockroach just ran off with my peanut

00:00:16.120 --> 00:00:19.539
butter and jelly sandwich. An army of sugar ants

00:00:19.539 --> 00:00:21.839
pulled a switchblade on me and took my Nikes

00:00:21.839 --> 00:00:28.780
and my wallet. You better call Joe. Who the hell

00:00:28.780 --> 00:00:32.909
is Joe? It's Joe from All Star Pest Solutions.

00:00:34.109 --> 00:00:37.350
Dumbass. Are bugs taking over your house? Ants

00:00:37.350 --> 00:00:39.149
in the kitchen? Spiders in the corners? Something

00:00:39.149 --> 00:00:41.070
crawling around where it shouldn't be? Here's

00:00:41.070 --> 00:00:42.590
the truth. Most companies send out technicians

00:00:42.590 --> 00:00:44.770
with 30 days experience. At All Star Pest Solutions,

00:00:44.969 --> 00:00:47.210
you get over 30 years. That means we don't guess.

00:00:47.289 --> 00:00:49.090
We eliminate the problem. Safe for your family.

00:00:49.170 --> 00:00:52.189
Tough on pests. No contracts. Call or text 913

00:00:52.189 --> 00:00:54.990
-738 -STAR for your free inspection today. All

00:00:54.990 --> 00:00:56.990
Star Pest Solutions. Guaranteed service. Guaranteed

00:00:56.990 --> 00:01:06.180
results. Good evening. All the obtuse, incognizant,

00:01:06.180 --> 00:01:11.340
unsagacious, ill -informed, dull -witted, adulpated,

00:01:11.640 --> 00:01:15.239
dunder -headed, feather -brained, muddle -headed,

00:01:15.439 --> 00:01:20.040
but lovable listeners. This is your warning.

00:01:20.180 --> 00:01:23.560
You're headed straight for the douchebag gangbang.

00:01:24.000 --> 00:01:27.920
That's right. Run while you are able. Don't look

00:01:27.920 --> 00:01:32.000
back. Topa, Mark, and Rob... are headed for your

00:01:32.000 --> 00:01:50.180
ear holes in three, two, one. Here at Two Douchebags

00:01:50.180 --> 00:01:53.159
and a Microphone, we don't stand behind our journalistic

00:01:53.159 --> 00:01:56.099
integrity. Go ahead and assume we got the story

00:01:56.099 --> 00:02:00.090
wrong. At least we admit it. Not like all those

00:02:00.090 --> 00:02:03.010
other guys. We can and will lie if it makes the

00:02:03.010 --> 00:02:07.290
story better. Two douchebags and a microphone.

00:02:12.009 --> 00:02:20.069
Here at the gangbang, we realize no one wants

00:02:20.069 --> 00:02:24.449
to do a douchebag pledge. We simply will not

00:02:24.449 --> 00:02:28.430
waste your time with bullshit. By the way. Remember

00:02:28.430 --> 00:02:30.789
to enter dinner with the douchebags contest.

00:02:31.949 --> 00:02:35.370
Good luck. Win dinner with the douchebags. That's

00:02:35.370 --> 00:02:38.289
right. You can sit down and eat with the douches.

00:02:38.650 --> 00:02:41.729
Our contest is simple. Just grab a TV dinner.

00:02:42.050 --> 00:02:45.050
Your choice. Banquet, Stouffer's or whatever.

00:02:45.430 --> 00:02:48.710
Heat up your dinner. Turn on your Bluetooth and

00:02:48.710 --> 00:02:51.270
crank up two douchebags and microphone and bam!

00:02:51.610 --> 00:02:54.259
You're a winner. See the webpage for official

00:02:54.259 --> 00:02:57.479
contest rules. Only one entry per day per person.

00:02:57.680 --> 00:03:02.080
No cheating. Our constant pursuit for a real

00:03:02.080 --> 00:03:05.520
knee slapper. It's strange insults from an alien.

00:03:05.900 --> 00:03:11.060
Real hilarity. You are the human equivalent to

00:03:11.060 --> 00:03:15.919
a participation trophy. Hey peeps, it's time

00:03:15.919 --> 00:03:19.030
for the police blotter. That's right, stories

00:03:19.030 --> 00:03:23.289
about stupid criminals and the dumbassness that

00:03:23.289 --> 00:03:30.509
ensued. Let us begin now. An Ohio man was arrested

00:03:30.509 --> 00:03:33.729
after authorities said he mistakenly sent a baggie

00:03:33.729 --> 00:03:36.490
of crystal meth through a tube at a bank drive

00:03:36.490 --> 00:03:41.669
-thru last week. Jason G. Smith, 46, was cuffed

00:03:41.669 --> 00:03:44.750
on December the 3rd. After a swift investigation

00:03:44.750 --> 00:03:48.449
in to an unexpected deposit, he made at the bank

00:03:48.449 --> 00:03:51.530
in Woodsfield, Ohio, according to a press release

00:03:51.530 --> 00:03:55.229
from Monroe County Sheriff's Office. Smith drove

00:03:55.229 --> 00:03:57.990
away from the bank without realizing his mistake.

00:03:58.370 --> 00:04:01.710
An employee reported the baggie he left. He was

00:04:01.710 --> 00:04:05.750
picked up on a drug charge soon after. Have you

00:04:05.750 --> 00:04:07.789
ever wondered what something came about? Have

00:04:07.789 --> 00:04:09.729
you ever looked at something and said, hey, I

00:04:09.729 --> 00:04:12.710
wonder what the origin of that is? Well, so have

00:04:12.710 --> 00:04:17.769
we. That's why we give you the origin of... This

00:04:17.769 --> 00:04:22.029
is the origin of Rob Rad's loincloth. Rob used

00:04:22.029 --> 00:04:24.689
to strip in a nightclub called McCock's on the

00:04:24.689 --> 00:04:27.189
city's east side. Rob was the only completely

00:04:27.189 --> 00:04:29.930
new dancer at the club. The other dancers were

00:04:29.930 --> 00:04:31.949
jealous of Rob making all the cash and made him

00:04:31.949 --> 00:04:34.689
use a loincloth to dance with. Rob soon had to

00:04:34.689 --> 00:04:37.089
wear his loincloth daily. He found out that he

00:04:37.089 --> 00:04:39.250
could get out of traffic tickets, sell vinyl

00:04:39.250 --> 00:04:41.569
siding, and pick up hotties at the come and go.

00:04:42.009 --> 00:04:44.129
Rob now wears his loincloth everywhere except

00:04:44.129 --> 00:04:47.589
work. Sparks plus pubic hair equals to bad things.

00:04:48.209 --> 00:04:52.350
Hey, scrotum sacks. This here is Buford T. Rasputin,

00:04:52.449 --> 00:04:55.310
your common sense concierge. Today we discuss

00:04:55.310 --> 00:04:58.110
the logic behind crime predicting and how this

00:04:58.110 --> 00:05:01.569
system allegedly works. Predictive policing uses

00:05:01.569 --> 00:05:04.110
a combination of advanced statistics, machine

00:05:04.110 --> 00:05:07.629
learning, and AI to predict when and where crimes

00:05:07.629 --> 00:05:10.649
may occur. These data -driven systems analyze

00:05:10.649 --> 00:05:14.110
historical crime reports, social media, and surveillance

00:05:14.110 --> 00:05:17.470
footage to guide police efforts before 911 calls

00:05:17.470 --> 00:05:20.750
are made. This is also known as hotspot policing.

00:05:21.129 --> 00:05:23.089
Now, let's take a look at greater statistics

00:05:23.089 --> 00:05:26.050
in highest crime areas. The violent crimes being

00:05:26.050 --> 00:05:29.129
committed are roughly 80 % criminals with a violent

00:05:29.129 --> 00:05:31.629
crimes record. Instead of attempting to beat

00:05:31.629 --> 00:05:34.189
the criminal to the crime, Why don't judges hold

00:05:34.189 --> 00:05:36.709
people accountable and not set violent criminals

00:05:36.709 --> 00:05:39.569
free with a slap on the hand and a sorry won't

00:05:39.569 --> 00:05:42.430
do it again? Possibly investing in children and

00:05:42.430 --> 00:05:44.810
using a revamped school system that will not

00:05:44.810 --> 00:05:47.490
allow troubled youth to disrupt the class. Holding

00:05:47.490 --> 00:05:49.949
teachers to a higher level and not being afraid

00:05:49.949 --> 00:05:52.569
of hurting someone's feelings. The best way to

00:05:52.569 --> 00:05:54.730
solve crime is to prevent it from occurring.

00:05:55.050 --> 00:05:57.730
This common sense policy should be the standard.

00:05:57.910 --> 00:06:00.269
Other countries have accomplished this. So should

00:06:00.269 --> 00:06:24.050
we. If you plan a me day that includes a pedicure

00:06:24.050 --> 00:06:29.589
and facial, wear socks with sandals, use shampoo

00:06:29.589 --> 00:06:32.449
with tea tree oil, and separate conditioner for

00:06:32.449 --> 00:06:36.449
highlights. You refuse vegetables that were not

00:06:36.449 --> 00:06:41.110
properly crisped. You drink zero calorie beer.

00:06:42.290 --> 00:06:47.569
You order a kale salad at a burger joint. If

00:06:47.569 --> 00:06:50.470
you do any or all of these you're most likely

00:06:50.470 --> 00:06:58.870
a pussy. Welcome, everybody. This is the Douchebag

00:06:58.870 --> 00:07:02.410
Gangbang. I am Mark. I am the, I guess, alleged

00:07:02.410 --> 00:07:05.110
ringleader of this whole operation. Yes, it's

00:07:05.110 --> 00:07:08.269
me. It's my fault. I'm sorry. Anyhow, I am at

00:07:08.269 --> 00:07:10.550
the Talk is Cheap studio at the extreme southern

00:07:10.550 --> 00:07:13.370
tip of the Kansas City Metroplex and surrounding

00:07:13.370 --> 00:07:16.629
areas at the Talk is Cheap studio. And I'm not

00:07:16.629 --> 00:07:17.990
sure if I said that or not, and I don't give

00:07:17.990 --> 00:07:47.060
a shit. So, anyhow. The coffee is hot and available

00:07:47.060 --> 00:07:50.639
24 hours a day. The space heater is on. And the

00:07:50.639 --> 00:07:53.139
song I'm currently learning on guitar is Come

00:07:53.139 --> 00:07:55.899
As You Are by Nirvana. Life is good in Kansas

00:07:55.899 --> 00:07:58.879
City. Oh, nice, nice. What do you do about the

00:07:58.879 --> 00:08:01.279
bass line? The bass line is so prolific in that.

00:08:03.000 --> 00:08:06.740
I don't know. I'm just concentrating on the rhythm

00:08:06.740 --> 00:08:08.779
guitar part. It gives me a good excuse to use

00:08:08.779 --> 00:08:11.300
my chorus pedal. Okay. No, I didn't know if you

00:08:11.300 --> 00:08:14.939
just played the top strings. And came up with

00:08:14.939 --> 00:08:16.860
something like that or not? Because I've seen

00:08:16.860 --> 00:08:20.500
people do that before with the bass lines. Okay,

00:08:20.620 --> 00:08:24.319
that's cool. All right, well, I have quite a

00:08:24.319 --> 00:08:28.079
few surprises. Number one, I've got the brand

00:08:28.079 --> 00:08:32.350
new... We are sponsored by All Star Pet Solutions.

00:08:33.289 --> 00:08:36.710
Joe Cusick, many, many years in the pest trade.

00:08:36.970 --> 00:08:40.309
So we have a new commercial and a new kickoff

00:08:40.309 --> 00:08:42.330
to the show that I want you guys to hear if you

00:08:42.330 --> 00:08:44.529
haven't heard it yet, because I did put it on

00:08:44.529 --> 00:08:58.879
the last show, but here it is right here. And

00:08:58.879 --> 00:09:02.080
this is the commercial. Oh, my. What am I going

00:09:02.080 --> 00:09:05.799
to do? The cockroaches just ran over my hamburger

00:09:05.799 --> 00:09:09.399
and jelly sandwich. An army of sugar ants pulled

00:09:09.399 --> 00:09:12.019
a switchblade on me and took my Nikes and my

00:09:12.019 --> 00:09:18.879
wine. You better call Joe. Who the hell is Joe?

00:09:19.419 --> 00:09:48.460
It's Joe from All Star Pest Solutions. I don't

00:09:48.460 --> 00:09:50.620
know about you guys, but Joe's hired. He sounded

00:09:50.620 --> 00:09:53.240
pretty damn good, didn't he? Yeah, yeah, he did.

00:09:53.779 --> 00:09:56.500
Yeah, he blew right through him. Yeah, I know.

00:09:56.559 --> 00:09:58.580
I was kind of like, man, should I even put that

00:09:58.580 --> 00:10:01.830
up there? I'm like, ah, okay, whatever. We'll

00:10:01.830 --> 00:10:03.389
probably have him on the show sooner or later.

00:10:03.490 --> 00:10:06.090
He expressed a little bit of interest in doing

00:10:06.090 --> 00:10:10.450
a show or so, so we'll see. So I've been having

00:10:10.450 --> 00:10:14.269
fun with AI. I had them look at our podcast.

00:10:14.870 --> 00:10:17.049
So the first thing that I had them do was come

00:10:17.049 --> 00:10:20.289
up with an ass -paddling song. And this is them

00:10:20.289 --> 00:10:23.100
analyzing our show, okay? I didn't say anything

00:10:23.100 --> 00:10:25.399
about us, but they just analyzed the show. I

00:10:25.399 --> 00:10:27.559
told them what to look for, what show to look

00:10:27.559 --> 00:10:30.019
for, and they did. So listen to this. This is

00:10:30.019 --> 00:10:32.340
what they think of our Ask Paddling segment.

00:11:32.399 --> 00:11:38.559
I love the way it goes smack. I honestly could

00:11:38.559 --> 00:11:43.620
not hear that more on the TV. Yeah, it was cutting

00:11:43.620 --> 00:11:47.279
out quite a bit. I couldn't hear it. Damn it.

00:11:47.659 --> 00:11:51.799
Okay. There's a proximity effect, I think, on

00:11:51.799 --> 00:11:54.220
the microphone. Unless it's like right up on

00:11:54.220 --> 00:11:58.100
it, it needs to be pretty damn loud before it'll

00:11:58.100 --> 00:12:00.960
pick it up. Okay. Did you guys hear the Joe commercial

00:12:00.960 --> 00:12:06.580
fine? Okay, all right. I'm going to go ahead

00:12:06.580 --> 00:12:11.360
and move the mic then and see if this helps.

00:12:46.090 --> 00:12:53.090
Can you guys hear that okay? Yeah. Welcome to

00:12:53.090 --> 00:13:52.029
the pain in the butt portion. You guys got the

00:13:52.029 --> 00:13:55.929
gist of that one? Yeah. Did you like it? I'm

00:13:55.929 --> 00:13:58.470
sitting here wondering how it came up with that

00:13:58.470 --> 00:14:00.889
melody. I was trying to think, what does it sound

00:14:00.889 --> 00:14:03.470
like? It really didn't sound like any other song

00:14:03.470 --> 00:14:07.549
I could name, but it just comes up with this

00:14:07.549 --> 00:14:10.870
melody somehow. Yeah, it's weird, because I told

00:14:10.870 --> 00:14:14.529
it to come up with a Rock Me Amadeus type of

00:14:14.529 --> 00:14:20.039
song, right? Oh, okay. Still don't get the correlation,

00:14:20.360 --> 00:14:26.259
but... It probably went and watched a video,

00:14:26.340 --> 00:14:30.200
too. Oh, I bet you it did, yeah. Well, anyhow,

00:14:30.340 --> 00:14:32.759
I was really amazed by how well it knows the

00:14:32.759 --> 00:14:37.539
show. That's kind of scary in a way, isn't it?

00:14:37.659 --> 00:14:41.200
It is scary. All I had to do was give it very

00:14:41.200 --> 00:14:44.120
limited information, and it figured everything

00:14:44.120 --> 00:14:48.710
out very well. So this is... It gave me like

00:14:48.710 --> 00:14:50.690
three ass -paddling songs, and I'll just play

00:14:50.690 --> 00:14:53.490
part of this one. This is the best one, I thought.

00:14:53.830 --> 00:14:56.970
And then I got a Topher -themed song, but it

00:14:56.970 --> 00:14:59.970
wouldn't say Topher because that... Did you know

00:14:59.970 --> 00:15:03.870
that that name is copyrighted somewhere? Weird.

00:15:04.250 --> 00:15:06.629
Yes. It would not do it. I kept trying to get

00:15:06.629 --> 00:15:08.769
it. No, I don't want Christopher. I want Topher.

00:15:09.149 --> 00:15:11.529
And finally it popped up and said the name is

00:15:11.529 --> 00:15:14.309
copyright protected. We cannot, you know, we

00:15:14.309 --> 00:15:17.230
cannot do it. So I went in there and put in Christopher

00:15:17.230 --> 00:15:21.429
and it did it fine. So anyhow, so this is the

00:15:21.429 --> 00:15:23.789
ass paddling. I have no idea who the hell has

00:15:23.789 --> 00:15:26.529
that name copyrighted or trademarked or whatever.

00:15:26.690 --> 00:15:28.970
So, all right, this is ass paddling, the best

00:15:28.970 --> 00:16:15.210
one, I think. That one was a little bit better.

00:16:15.850 --> 00:16:18.529
The lyrics were slightly revamped, and I think

00:16:18.529 --> 00:16:20.429
it's a little bit funnier, but the song itself

00:16:20.429 --> 00:16:24.570
is pretty much the same. I love the backing vocals.

00:16:24.750 --> 00:16:28.090
Those are so fun. I know. And I love the way

00:16:28.090 --> 00:16:33.409
they go smack, smack. And how did it know to

00:16:33.409 --> 00:16:35.769
say the segment that no one asked for? I know.

00:16:35.929 --> 00:16:42.250
Yeah. And then on our theme song, the Douchebag

00:16:42.250 --> 00:16:45.309
Gangbang theme song, it says they start at 8.

00:16:45.549 --> 00:16:47.870
How the hell did it know that? Do we ever say

00:16:47.870 --> 00:16:51.590
we start at 8 o 'clock? I'm sitting here scratching

00:16:51.590 --> 00:16:55.309
my head going, how the hell did it know it? Wow.

00:16:56.009 --> 00:17:00.440
Yeah. I don't know. play the theme song here

00:17:00.440 --> 00:17:03.100
real quick and give you a little idea of how

00:17:03.100 --> 00:17:06.819
well this AI knows us, which is scary. So, with

00:17:06.819 --> 00:17:10.700
limited information. They got a ring light. They

00:17:10.700 --> 00:17:13.859
got a cheap desk. They got a neon sign that says

00:17:13.859 --> 00:17:16.420
we're the best. They got a big cloud floating

00:17:16.420 --> 00:17:19.539
in the sky. They got a fridge full of beer that

00:17:19.539 --> 00:17:21.640
they bought. They got a fridge full of beer.

00:17:30.859 --> 00:18:24.000
When they're being pests Yeah. Can you believe

00:18:24.000 --> 00:18:27.720
it? It said neon signs, which I have all kinds

00:18:27.720 --> 00:18:30.279
of in the Talk is Cheap studio. It said a fridge

00:18:30.279 --> 00:18:32.799
full of beer, which I do have a fridge full of

00:18:32.799 --> 00:18:37.660
beer. Wow. Yeah. I mean, it's like it, I don't

00:18:37.660 --> 00:18:40.599
know, like it came in here and looked. It's crazy.

00:18:41.559 --> 00:18:43.619
It probably looked at all your picture files.

00:18:43.940 --> 00:18:47.680
It had to have. I know. Isn't that scary? Yep.

00:18:47.720 --> 00:18:51.589
Yeah. Yeah. So I got Rob Rad's one here. Everybody

00:18:51.589 --> 00:18:56.869
ready for that? Yeah. Here we go, Rob. You're

00:18:56.869 --> 00:19:05.650
going to love it. Maybe. I request a funky version.

00:19:55.470 --> 00:20:09.650
in a loincloth. How did it know it had to listen

00:20:09.650 --> 00:20:13.670
to every show you crochet with your toes in a

00:20:13.670 --> 00:20:44.009
loincloth? several times I don't know it says

00:20:44.009 --> 00:20:45.930
a bunch of shit about you and I'm still picking

00:20:45.930 --> 00:20:48.029
stuff out that I didn't catch the first time

00:20:48.029 --> 00:20:50.250
all right let's see what it thinks about Topher

00:20:50.250 --> 00:20:53.009
now even though it says Christopher so all right

00:22:03.369 --> 00:22:48.720
for seven points straight. Obviously. Did you

00:22:48.720 --> 00:22:51.259
catch all the little innuendos and iggies that

00:22:51.259 --> 00:22:56.259
it put out? I got to say, it must be the sensitivity

00:22:56.259 --> 00:23:00.240
level on my headphones is poor, but I could not

00:23:00.240 --> 00:23:04.220
really hear anything. Okay, well, you know what?

00:23:04.359 --> 00:23:07.700
You'll have to. Okay, this didn't go over as

00:23:07.700 --> 00:23:10.259
well as I thought. Okay. All right. I don't know

00:23:10.259 --> 00:23:12.900
where it left off, but anyhow, we were talking

00:23:12.900 --> 00:23:18.339
and we're still talking. Okay. That's what we

00:23:18.339 --> 00:23:23.019
get paid for. Yeah, yep. All right, so let's

00:23:23.019 --> 00:23:30.059
see what I got here. Oh, shoot. Okay, I get this

00:23:30.059 --> 00:23:32.359
text telling me I can bring my Nissan in at this

00:23:32.359 --> 00:23:36.200
particular local car dealer and receive $35 ,000

00:23:36.200 --> 00:23:40.440
in down payment on my next Nissan. Well, I don't

00:23:40.440 --> 00:23:43.700
own a Nissan, right? I haven't owned one in a

00:23:43.700 --> 00:23:47.599
long, long time. So I sent a reply back, and

00:23:47.599 --> 00:23:50.059
I was saying, I'm bringing my 92 Ford Ranger

00:23:50.059 --> 00:23:52.740
in, and then they reply back with a number to

00:23:52.740 --> 00:23:55.559
call for the Nissan trade -in, right? So I'm

00:23:55.559 --> 00:23:57.400
like, wait a minute. I just told them I'm bringing

00:23:57.400 --> 00:24:00.640
in my 92 Ford Ranger. So obviously they didn't

00:24:00.640 --> 00:24:03.420
look at it. It was automated. So I called the

00:24:03.420 --> 00:24:05.220
number, and I tell the guy, okay, I got your

00:24:05.220 --> 00:24:07.579
text, and yes, I do have an older Ford pickup

00:24:07.579 --> 00:24:11.779
to trade in for $3 ,500. He was really confused,

00:24:12.000 --> 00:24:15.880
right? And I then say, Hang on a second. And

00:24:15.880 --> 00:24:20.599
he goes, no, we're looking for Nissan cars. And

00:24:20.599 --> 00:24:23.839
I go, okay. I go, there must be some miscommunication

00:24:23.839 --> 00:24:27.200
here. I go, wait one more second. Okay, so I

00:24:27.200 --> 00:24:28.960
make him wait about three minutes. I come back

00:24:28.960 --> 00:24:30.680
on the phone. I go, oh, yeah, I read it wrong.

00:24:31.200 --> 00:24:33.599
And then I go, bye. And he's sitting there trying

00:24:33.599 --> 00:24:35.319
to give me a sales pitch, trying to get me to

00:24:35.319 --> 00:24:39.539
come in. He was the middle boy. That's okay.

00:24:39.579 --> 00:24:41.339
We'll take any trade in. We may not give you

00:24:41.339 --> 00:24:43.519
$3 ,500. I go, all right, hey, thanks, man. I

00:24:43.519 --> 00:24:50.119
appreciate the thought. Bye. And, you know, I'm

00:24:50.119 --> 00:24:54.440
expecting some instant karma, like, you know,

00:24:54.440 --> 00:24:57.480
putting that little card on that guy's car, right?

00:24:58.160 --> 00:24:59.920
So, like, I mean, I don't know what's going to

00:24:59.920 --> 00:25:01.740
happen. Am I going to get a zit on my ball sack

00:25:01.740 --> 00:25:04.279
or something? I don't know. Something's going

00:25:04.279 --> 00:25:06.769
to happen that's going to get me back. But it

00:25:06.769 --> 00:25:09.009
was funny because I know how bad the car industry

00:25:09.009 --> 00:25:12.309
is right now. And, you know, he was just desperate.

00:25:12.710 --> 00:25:15.029
He was desperate trying to get me to just stay

00:25:15.029 --> 00:25:17.250
on the line. He thought he might have a sale

00:25:17.250 --> 00:25:21.029
or something. And I almost felt bad for him.

00:25:21.029 --> 00:25:22.789
And I thought, no, he's a salesman. Fuck him.

00:25:23.890 --> 00:25:28.450
You know, he's ripped off a lot of people. Yes.

00:25:28.470 --> 00:25:29.990
Yeah, that's what I was thinking, too. I'm like,

00:25:30.069 --> 00:25:32.349
you know what? It's not like he's a human. So

00:25:32.349 --> 00:25:36.299
I just kept going. I don't like fucking. So anyhow,

00:25:36.440 --> 00:25:39.200
since we are so far into this program, I'm going

00:25:39.200 --> 00:25:40.779
to go ahead and go with my quote of the week.

00:25:41.259 --> 00:25:44.380
All right. This one is, in the end, we will remember

00:25:44.380 --> 00:25:47.079
not the words of our enemies, but the silence

00:25:47.079 --> 00:25:52.759
of our friends. Isn't that great? I love it.

00:25:52.779 --> 00:25:55.880
That is good. Can you guys guess who said that?

00:26:00.549 --> 00:26:03.990
You know what? Another guy up there on a plane

00:26:03.990 --> 00:26:06.650
like that, but one of my personal heroes, Martin

00:26:06.650 --> 00:26:11.390
Luther King Jr. said that. Oh, okay. It makes

00:26:11.390 --> 00:26:12.910
a lot of sense. It makes a lot of sense. Yes,

00:26:12.930 --> 00:26:15.990
it does. Yeah. Yeah. That gives it a whole lot

00:26:15.990 --> 00:26:18.769
of good context. Yeah. Yes, it does. The more

00:26:18.769 --> 00:26:20.890
I read about the guy, the more I love him. He

00:26:20.890 --> 00:26:25.529
had the message a long time ago. He had the correct

00:26:25.529 --> 00:26:30.880
message a long time ago. Anyhow, I just thought

00:26:30.880 --> 00:26:32.599
that was cool, and I'm glad that I got to pass

00:26:32.599 --> 00:26:35.660
that on. So now that we're passing stuff, let's

00:26:35.660 --> 00:26:39.579
pass this whole shit show to Rob. All right.

00:26:40.059 --> 00:27:14.539
I have some Lake of the Ozarks. Yay! Mother Major's

00:27:14.539 --> 00:28:15.369
Riverfront Retreat, 878. Cool. And body odor.

00:28:19.210 --> 00:28:29.230
And body odor. And tooth decay. Are you going

00:28:29.230 --> 00:28:34.190
to go by and burn some juggalos up? I'm going

00:28:34.190 --> 00:28:36.690
to throw a couple of matas in there. Watch them

00:28:36.690 --> 00:28:47.230
singe. I want to throw some live chickens in

00:28:47.230 --> 00:28:50.170
there and see if they go chicken hunting. Oh.

00:28:50.690 --> 00:28:53.210
Yeah, yeah. They're juggalos, right? That might

00:28:53.210 --> 00:28:56.829
be an idea. That might be an idea. Coincidentally,

00:28:56.930 --> 00:29:02.430
the insane clown posse is playing Rock, Oklahoma

00:29:02.430 --> 00:29:07.990
Labor Day weekend. Oh, I see it. Yeah, yeah.

00:29:08.329 --> 00:29:23.039
Yeah. Well, they are going to be in Rock, Oklahoma,

00:29:23.220 --> 00:29:25.500
so who knows? I bet you they end up, they've

00:29:25.500 --> 00:29:27.779
been known to do this, just go play a club somewhere.

00:29:29.319 --> 00:29:33.039
Yeah. That would be great. If they go all over

00:29:33.039 --> 00:29:42.420
you. Oh, no, no, that's what I'm saying, too.

00:29:42.859 --> 00:29:52.990
Yep. Oh, I think they would, too. Yeah, pretty

00:29:52.990 --> 00:29:54.890
fucking cool. It wouldn't even have to be them,

00:29:54.930 --> 00:29:59.589
actually. Who would know? This is true. We ought

00:29:59.589 --> 00:30:07.309
to go there dressed like them. I'll be shaggy,

00:30:07.309 --> 00:30:13.130
too, though. And then the real ones show up.

00:30:16.509 --> 00:30:19.009
It's just like Sharon Osbourne telling the Slipknot

00:30:19.009 --> 00:30:22.410
story about how, you know, they had their accountant

00:30:22.410 --> 00:30:24.549
in there with the Slipknot makeup on and the

00:30:24.549 --> 00:30:26.710
girls were in there giving him head, thinking

00:30:26.710 --> 00:30:31.869
it was one of Slipknot. You know, there's some

00:30:31.869 --> 00:30:33.670
chicks that were listening to that podcast going,

00:30:33.769 --> 00:30:45.029
Oh, I think that's funny. Nope. Nope. So, all

00:30:45.029 --> 00:30:47.079
right. Alright, thank you, Rob. Alright, Topher,

00:30:47.200 --> 00:30:53.839
what do you have? Ah, big news from Target. Target

00:30:53.839 --> 00:30:57.700
is officially warning everybody that if its AI

00:30:57.700 --> 00:31:00.900
shopping agent makes a mistake, even an expensive

00:31:00.900 --> 00:31:22.430
mistake, you'll have to pay for it. while distancing

00:31:22.430 --> 00:31:25.630
themselves from its failures. While that attitude

00:31:25.630 --> 00:31:28.390
certainly isn't unique to big box stores, it's

00:31:28.390 --> 00:31:30.990
increasingly becoming their default setting,

00:31:31.190 --> 00:31:34.049
revealing the ridiculous double standard baked

00:31:34.049 --> 00:31:38.049
into the AI boom. Target is the latest to jump

00:31:38.049 --> 00:31:40.730
on the bandwagon. According to Business Insider,

00:31:40.809 --> 00:31:43.230
the Minnesota -based retail corporation recently

00:31:43.230 --> 00:31:46.130
updated its terms and conditions. See, that's

00:31:46.130 --> 00:31:47.970
where they hide it in all the small print that

00:31:47.970 --> 00:31:51.009
you have to say okay to. It's very clear that

00:31:51.009 --> 00:31:54.650
customers, not the company, would be responsible

00:31:54.650 --> 00:31:57.670
for the failures and hallucinations of its upcoming

00:31:57.670 --> 00:32:01.450
AI shopping assistant. That virtual buddy which

00:32:01.450 --> 00:32:04.210
runs on Google's Gemini is supposed to help online

00:32:04.210 --> 00:32:06.930
shoppers finish target runs on their users' behalf.

00:32:07.490 --> 00:32:11.049
But under the new terms, if a customer uses the

00:32:11.049 --> 00:32:14.369
Gemini agent to do their shopping for them, any

00:32:14.369 --> 00:32:17.450
transaction performed by the AI would be considered

00:32:17.450 --> 00:32:21.279
a transaction authorized by you. Translation,

00:32:21.279 --> 00:32:24.259
any mistake by the AI, whether it's the right

00:32:24.259 --> 00:32:26.559
or the wrong item or a super expensive version

00:32:26.559 --> 00:32:28.880
of the right one without your consent, still

00:32:28.880 --> 00:32:32.619
coming out of your pocket. And you have no recourse.

00:32:32.880 --> 00:32:35.279
Wow. Well, this reminds me of what I just had

00:32:35.279 --> 00:32:38.779
to do to Amazon. I had to get a chainsaw chain,

00:32:38.940 --> 00:32:41.039
right? And this was just a couple of days ago.

00:32:41.319 --> 00:32:43.940
And I just ordered it. And then I found out they

00:32:43.940 --> 00:32:46.740
had one down at Lowe's. And I was like, well,

00:32:46.759 --> 00:32:48.900
I need this today. I went down there and got

00:32:48.900 --> 00:32:51.380
it, and I came back home, and I canceled the

00:32:51.380 --> 00:32:53.660
order, and they said, we can't cancel it. I know

00:32:53.660 --> 00:32:56.519
they didn't even pull it yet. So I sent a message

00:32:56.519 --> 00:32:58.299
back going, that's all right. I'll return it

00:32:58.299 --> 00:33:02.180
as soon as it's sent here. Yep. Yeah, that's

00:33:02.180 --> 00:33:03.579
what people are going to do. It's like, all right,

00:33:03.599 --> 00:33:06.660
okay. Well, hang on. Let me knock a little hole

00:33:06.660 --> 00:33:10.299
in this. Oh, look at that. It's defective. Yeah,

00:33:10.400 --> 00:33:12.000
that's going to backfire on them because that's

00:33:12.000 --> 00:33:14.339
what I do. I ding it and go, hey, look, man,

00:33:14.380 --> 00:33:16.019
it was sold to me like that. I want my money

00:33:16.019 --> 00:33:21.099
back. Yeah, they're idiots. Is that it? Is that

00:33:21.099 --> 00:33:25.700
it, Topher? Well, Target further says that you,

00:33:25.779 --> 00:33:28.680
the customer, are responsible for reviewing activity

00:33:28.680 --> 00:33:32.779
performed by your commerce agent and for promptly

00:33:32.779 --> 00:33:36.039
notifying the commerce agent and Target of any

00:33:36.039 --> 00:33:39.039
activity you believe is unauthorized. So you

00:33:39.039 --> 00:33:42.720
have to supervise it. So why use it at all if

00:33:42.720 --> 00:33:44.220
you have to stand there and watch everything

00:33:44.220 --> 00:33:47.519
that takes place? That takes what it's supposed

00:33:47.519 --> 00:33:52.519
to do out of it, doesn't it? Yeah. Wow. Here's

00:33:52.519 --> 00:33:55.460
the kicker. Target says, Target does not purport

00:33:55.460 --> 00:33:58.519
to guarantee that an agent, a commerce agent,

00:33:58.660 --> 00:34:01.980
will exactly act as you intend in all circumstances.

00:34:02.279 --> 00:34:04.980
You should review orders, account activity, and

00:34:04.980 --> 00:34:08.280
settings regularly. So it's telling you the AI

00:34:08.280 --> 00:34:20.880
will go in and change your settings. Oh. No.

00:34:21.039 --> 00:34:24.679
Oh, my God. Walmart is also rolling out their

00:34:24.679 --> 00:34:28.920
big AI shopping agent, and Walmart doesn't trust

00:34:28.920 --> 00:34:33.039
theirs either. Walmart was recently outraging

00:34:33.039 --> 00:34:35.920
their consumers with AI -powered price gouging.

00:34:35.940 --> 00:34:39.500
It also updated its terms of use to cover for

00:34:39.500 --> 00:34:43.059
mistakes made by its AI shopping assistant, which

00:34:43.059 --> 00:34:49.260
is nicknamed Sparky. I don't trust anything named

00:34:49.260 --> 00:34:55.000
Sparky. Walmart says, due to the nature of generative

00:34:55.000 --> 00:34:57.559
AI, the information responses and recommendations

00:34:57.559 --> 00:35:01.719
generated for you and other uses may not be accurate,

00:35:01.880 --> 00:35:05.019
complete, or up -to -date, and may be misleading

00:35:05.019 --> 00:35:09.099
or contain errors and omissions. Or AI may misunderstand

00:35:09.099 --> 00:35:12.219
the content that you input and may be responding

00:35:12.219 --> 00:35:14.300
to a different question than what you asked.

00:35:14.480 --> 00:35:17.219
None of these sources have been verified by Walmart.

00:35:17.789 --> 00:35:20.170
They're basically saying, whatever the AI tells

00:35:20.170 --> 00:35:22.829
you, we're not legally responsible. It's all

00:35:22.829 --> 00:35:30.130
on you. That's a solid no for me. Yep. See, AI

00:35:30.130 --> 00:35:32.989
was never meant to help us. It was never, ever

00:35:32.989 --> 00:35:34.889
meant to help us. I agree. It was always meant

00:35:34.889 --> 00:35:40.030
to exploit us. Well, look at all the stuff that

00:35:40.030 --> 00:35:43.070
AI got right, and I told them very minimal information

00:35:43.070 --> 00:35:47.760
about the show. They analyze everything of us.

00:35:47.800 --> 00:35:50.139
Everything. They know us better than we know

00:35:50.139 --> 00:35:56.420
us. That's scary. And a lot of times it's not

00:35:56.420 --> 00:35:59.880
the AI making a mistake. The AI is purposely

00:35:59.880 --> 00:36:02.860
giving you wrong information to see what you'll

00:36:02.860 --> 00:36:07.880
do with it. Yeah, you're right. Yep. Because

00:36:07.880 --> 00:36:14.460
they've admitted to doing that. Jeez. Wow. Okay.

00:36:16.300 --> 00:36:20.159
Creepy stuff. Yeah, it is. Do you have any more?

00:36:21.480 --> 00:36:24.599
That was it for the target. Okay. All right.

00:36:24.860 --> 00:36:27.880
I have, before we go into Greatest Fear, I have

00:36:27.880 --> 00:36:32.079
a little retraction, correction, something like

00:36:32.079 --> 00:36:36.079
that. Okay. We all know about Buford T. Rasputin,

00:36:36.139 --> 00:36:40.780
right? He's the common sense concierge. Okay.

00:36:40.860 --> 00:36:45.460
Well, I evidently got him from... unknowingly,

00:36:45.460 --> 00:36:48.239
I do this because, you know, listen, we all have

00:36:48.239 --> 00:36:50.400
stuff we watch and listen to and stuff and we

00:36:50.400 --> 00:36:52.739
all take things from them, right? And it's stored

00:36:52.739 --> 00:36:55.719
in our head and it's not, you're not trying to

00:36:55.719 --> 00:36:58.199
copy somebody. Sometimes you emulate them and

00:36:58.199 --> 00:37:00.400
you don't mean to. You know, I have a lot of

00:37:00.400 --> 00:37:02.780
influences and I'm pretty sure I have a lot of

00:37:02.780 --> 00:37:05.599
what, you know, I sound a lot like certain times

00:37:05.599 --> 00:37:10.159
like them because, you know. So, Buford T. Rasputin

00:37:10.159 --> 00:37:13.929
was obviously taken from Buford T. Justice. He

00:37:13.929 --> 00:37:16.730
is a fictional loudmouth and relentless Texas

00:37:16.730 --> 00:37:21.250
sheriff played by Jackie Gleason in Smokey and

00:37:21.250 --> 00:37:24.469
the Bandit film trilogy, known as Smokey Bear.

00:37:24.750 --> 00:37:28.630
Yes. And I had a friend of mine send me a message

00:37:28.630 --> 00:37:30.530
and point that out to me. They go, are you trying

00:37:30.530 --> 00:37:33.969
to spoof him or what? And I go, actually, I forgot

00:37:33.969 --> 00:37:36.989
all about him. And evidently, my mind just came

00:37:36.989 --> 00:37:40.710
up with Buford T. Rasputin as part of Buford

00:37:40.710 --> 00:37:44.409
T. Justice. And he's kind of like a Texas -sounding

00:37:44.409 --> 00:37:49.650
guy. So I apologize. I unwillingly, unknowingly,

00:37:49.710 --> 00:37:52.590
and I'm serious about this, I unknowingly, I

00:37:52.590 --> 00:37:55.949
didn't plagiarize, but I kind of borrowed or

00:37:55.949 --> 00:37:59.090
whatever, you know. And I was just like, wow,

00:37:59.190 --> 00:38:02.110
it's weird how the mind works like that. So I'm

00:38:02.110 --> 00:38:04.489
going to have to change his name. It's still

00:38:04.489 --> 00:38:06.869
going to be Buford because I like that name.

00:38:07.010 --> 00:38:09.030
And it's going to be Rasputin. Maybe I'll just

00:38:09.030 --> 00:38:11.610
take out the T. And, you know, that's not, you

00:38:11.610 --> 00:38:16.210
know, it's a little close, but not so much. I've

00:38:16.210 --> 00:38:18.949
got a little extra trivia for you. Okay. The

00:38:18.949 --> 00:38:21.889
Buford T. Justice character, played by Jackie

00:38:21.889 --> 00:38:25.489
Gleason, was based on somebody else also. Oh,

00:38:25.489 --> 00:38:29.110
really? It was based on a character named Buford

00:38:29.110 --> 00:38:32.630
T. Pusser, who was in the movie Walking Tall.

00:38:33.570 --> 00:38:37.070
Oh! That's right. I remember that. Okay. Yeah,

00:38:37.070 --> 00:38:42.659
that is correct, yeah. Wow. Okay. So yours was

00:38:42.659 --> 00:38:45.820
a tip of the hat to a tip of the hat. There we

00:38:45.820 --> 00:38:48.539
go. Yeah, that's the way I meant it now that

00:38:48.539 --> 00:38:52.699
I told it. All right. Do you guys want to go

00:38:52.699 --> 00:38:57.599
into greatest fear? Let's do it. All right. The

00:38:57.599 --> 00:39:01.900
iron claw to your nutsack. Eat a bag of stale,

00:39:01.900 --> 00:39:05.539
damp, I know, stale, damp, moldy potato chips

00:39:05.539 --> 00:39:08.579
or be a Nancy Grace's spit guard on her mic.

00:39:11.239 --> 00:39:19.260
Oh, I know. Nancy Grace is just... No, no Nancy

00:39:19.260 --> 00:39:22.639
Grace. No, no Nancy Grace. I got to agree. Yeah,

00:39:22.820 --> 00:39:25.699
that's it. The rest of them suck, but not as

00:39:25.699 --> 00:39:28.840
much as getting that much spit on you. Yeah.

00:39:29.880 --> 00:39:33.639
Yeah. You never know what's in there. Oh, no,

00:39:33.739 --> 00:39:35.800
no, no, no. I'm not even going to speculate.

00:39:35.820 --> 00:39:37.559
I'll just go ahead and leave that right there

00:39:37.559 --> 00:39:42.550
lying on the floor. So, wow. And I'm old. I'm

00:39:42.550 --> 00:39:45.289
almost done with my nut sack anyway, so I don't

00:39:45.289 --> 00:39:49.929
think it's going to hurt me much. I got to tie

00:39:49.929 --> 00:39:52.429
mine in a knot. It hangs down too low. Yeah,

00:39:52.429 --> 00:39:58.289
it's sad. Yeah, yeah. All right, Rob, save this.

00:39:59.530 --> 00:40:03.230
All right. I thought of this one while I was

00:40:03.230 --> 00:40:20.860
at the shower the other night. Okay. Whoopi Goldberg.

00:40:22.019 --> 00:40:26.500
Gotta be Whoopi. He might want me to touch her

00:40:26.500 --> 00:40:30.159
or something. I'll tell you, I had a long day

00:40:30.159 --> 00:40:40.039
when I saw that. Wow. It's hard to get that image

00:40:40.039 --> 00:40:45.300
out of my mind. Yeah, I hurry up and get out

00:40:45.300 --> 00:40:47.519
of the shower. Especially if it's a small shower.

00:40:48.139 --> 00:40:50.099
What if it's a small shower and you have to touch

00:40:50.099 --> 00:40:55.280
your ex? One of those showers about the size

00:40:55.280 --> 00:41:04.320
of an airplane bathroom. Hang on, where's my

00:41:04.320 --> 00:41:18.500
vomit bag? Guys, I'll be right back. Yes, it

00:41:18.500 --> 00:41:23.519
is. I want to remind us all that it's April,

00:41:23.579 --> 00:41:28.079
so we all get a none of the above for the month.

00:41:28.980 --> 00:41:31.880
Good point. That's right, but I'm saving mine.

00:41:31.920 --> 00:41:36.079
I'm learning. Mark promised he was going to come

00:41:36.079 --> 00:41:37.659
up with something that's going to force us to

00:41:37.659 --> 00:41:40.900
use our none of the above early. Yes, I will.

00:41:41.099 --> 00:41:43.480
Or all of the above or whichever. It's coming

00:41:43.480 --> 00:41:44.880
up, I do believe. I guess it would be all of

00:41:44.880 --> 00:41:50.139
the above. First one, I'm going to start us off

00:41:50.139 --> 00:41:55.460
easy. All right. Biggest fear for a week. Somebody

00:41:55.460 --> 00:41:57.940
else is going to control everything you watch

00:41:57.940 --> 00:42:01.139
on video and every music you listen to. So which

00:42:01.139 --> 00:42:03.679
would be your biggest fear? It's all controlled

00:42:03.679 --> 00:42:09.199
by man bun guy, blue haired nose ring girl, or

00:42:09.199 --> 00:42:13.139
sleazy used car salesman. I'm going to have to

00:42:13.139 --> 00:42:16.860
go with blue haired nose ring girl, but the rest

00:42:16.860 --> 00:42:24.360
of them suck too. Yeah. I could get that. I could

00:42:24.360 --> 00:42:36.480
get that. Maybe a lot of disco. Yeah. At least

00:42:36.480 --> 00:42:39.219
the other two will be stuff I haven't heard that

00:42:39.219 --> 00:42:42.340
I might be able to get into. Well, that's a good

00:42:42.340 --> 00:43:02.159
point. In every video, he's going to want to

00:43:02.159 --> 00:43:06.820
watch his porno. Okay, you guys got me. I changed

00:43:06.820 --> 00:43:12.920
to used car salesman. All right, but it was close,

00:43:13.179 --> 00:43:17.519
right? It was. Yeah, it was close. All right.

00:43:18.139 --> 00:43:21.019
Next one I have, greatest fear, would be being

00:43:21.019 --> 00:43:24.460
Nick Shirley's bodyguard. You guys know who Nick

00:43:24.460 --> 00:43:28.869
Shirley is, right? Yeah. Yeah, okay. Joe Biden's

00:43:28.869 --> 00:43:34.989
speech tutor. Or Robert Kraft's denture cleaner.

00:43:37.409 --> 00:43:40.969
That is almost a none of the above, but I'm not

00:43:40.969 --> 00:43:44.010
going to do it. I'm going to have him go with

00:43:44.010 --> 00:43:47.409
Robert Kraft's denture cleaner. Yeah, me too.

00:43:48.630 --> 00:43:50.929
You know, Joe Biden. That's going to stink some.

00:43:51.170 --> 00:43:54.389
Joe Biden, you could have fun with him by mispronouncing

00:43:54.389 --> 00:43:57.250
shit. Yeah, you could have so much fun with him.

00:43:57.840 --> 00:44:00.519
And Nick Shirley's bodyguard, I mean, at least

00:44:00.519 --> 00:44:04.400
it'll be over quick, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

00:44:04.400 --> 00:44:08.599
It's true. Yeah. So, yeah, Robert Kraft's denture

00:44:08.599 --> 00:44:32.400
cleaner is probably, yeah, that's it. present

00:44:32.400 --> 00:44:37.239
for your wife, because that will linger on. Yeah,

00:44:37.239 --> 00:44:44.039
and it's any present. Yeah. It's not going to

00:44:44.039 --> 00:44:47.480
be good enough. I picked out some real stinkers.

00:44:48.300 --> 00:44:52.400
I just don't have the knack. Me neither. We're

00:44:52.400 --> 00:44:57.460
a man. Yeah. Yeah, you're right. We're supposed

00:44:57.460 --> 00:44:59.739
to go out and kill an animal and bring it back

00:44:59.739 --> 00:45:04.639
and say, there. Yes. We're not supposed to go,

00:45:04.699 --> 00:45:06.739
I wonder if the blue or the red will look better

00:45:06.739 --> 00:45:10.559
with her eyes. Right, true. Yeah, we're not geared

00:45:10.559 --> 00:45:12.500
for that. Like you said, we're geared for killing

00:45:12.500 --> 00:45:16.760
that turkey and bringing it back and going, hey,

00:45:16.780 --> 00:45:20.260
look, hon, we get to eat for another night. Yeah,

00:45:20.260 --> 00:45:22.380
but you know, I think the only thing that really

00:45:22.380 --> 00:45:25.579
helps is to find her best friend and ask her,

00:45:25.679 --> 00:45:29.059
what does my wife want? And then buy that. Either

00:45:29.059 --> 00:45:31.880
that or your gay friend. Your gay friend is really

00:45:31.880 --> 00:45:34.780
good at that, too. Yes. And it doesn't matter

00:45:34.780 --> 00:45:38.300
how much it costs, just buy that. Yes, yes. Yeah,

00:45:38.340 --> 00:45:40.260
I'll send one of my gay friends out and go, hey,

00:45:40.320 --> 00:45:43.619
Beth. Go ahead, what? If you go to her friend,

00:45:43.739 --> 00:45:45.880
then she still finds out that you're asking.

00:45:46.099 --> 00:45:49.860
So, yeah, either way. Yeah, that's true, but

00:45:49.860 --> 00:45:52.630
I mean... You could say, that's how much I cared.

00:45:52.730 --> 00:45:55.130
I wanted you to have the perfect gift, so I went

00:45:55.130 --> 00:45:57.210
and asked to make sure. I was getting ready to

00:45:57.210 --> 00:45:59.949
go that route. Bullshit, but it might work. Absolutely.

00:46:00.710 --> 00:46:06.190
At that point, that's your only chance. We all

00:46:06.190 --> 00:46:08.590
love our wives, but you know what? At that point,

00:46:08.590 --> 00:46:11.170
that's your only chance is go, look, I tried

00:46:11.170 --> 00:46:14.269
to do the right thing. I'm so sorry. Throw yourself

00:46:14.269 --> 00:46:18.070
at the mercy, and that's it. Just roll over on

00:46:18.070 --> 00:46:19.880
your back. You can spread your legs wide like

00:46:19.880 --> 00:46:29.420
a little puppy. Yes. Say, I surrender. Yep. Oh,

00:46:29.599 --> 00:46:33.820
gosh. Is it my turn? Yes. Yeah, it is, Topher.

00:46:34.340 --> 00:46:36.840
Wow. Okay, I'm getting lost already. All right.

00:46:37.380 --> 00:46:40.500
Now, imagine you're at a really nice restaurant.

00:46:41.119 --> 00:46:43.719
So, which would be your biggest fear at the restaurant?

00:46:44.480 --> 00:46:49.090
Getting served something? When you pay, getting

00:46:49.090 --> 00:46:53.010
back someone else's credit card. Or when you

00:46:53.010 --> 00:46:55.570
leave, the valet brings you someone else's car.

00:46:56.389 --> 00:47:02.510
Oh. Okay, let's examine this. If you get someone

00:47:02.510 --> 00:47:07.829
else's food, it might be... I would... Go ahead.

00:47:09.050 --> 00:47:15.789
No, go ahead. I'm going to say someone else's

00:47:15.789 --> 00:47:21.269
car. Because then you've got to wait around and

00:47:21.269 --> 00:47:23.650
have them find your car, and maybe they misplaced

00:47:23.650 --> 00:47:26.250
it where the keys, all that stuff. It's a lot

00:47:26.250 --> 00:47:29.670
to worry about after, you know, after having

00:47:29.670 --> 00:47:33.489
a night out. And you've also got to worry that

00:47:33.489 --> 00:47:36.230
if you got someone else's, then they got yours.

00:47:36.510 --> 00:47:42.210
Yes. Yep. So I think the creepiest one would

00:47:42.210 --> 00:47:44.869
be getting someone else's car. That, to me, just

00:47:44.869 --> 00:47:47.510
is kind of creepy. Yeah, that's true, too. Yes.

00:47:48.739 --> 00:47:51.360
And also... For me, it would have to be the credit

00:47:51.360 --> 00:47:55.639
card, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, because then what happened

00:47:55.639 --> 00:47:58.539
to yours? They got it? Yeah. Well, the thing

00:47:58.539 --> 00:48:01.639
is, they hand me a credit card. It's going in

00:48:01.639 --> 00:48:03.860
my wallet. I'm not going to know it until I go

00:48:03.860 --> 00:48:06.340
to use it again. You know, that's a good point.

00:48:06.860 --> 00:48:08.980
Actually, Rob, you're coming up with good stuff

00:48:08.980 --> 00:48:11.780
tonight. Good points. When they bring the car

00:48:11.780 --> 00:48:14.300
up to you, right then and there, you know it's

00:48:14.300 --> 00:48:16.760
not yours. Yeah, that's true. They don't know

00:48:16.760 --> 00:48:21.179
until the next day. That's a good point. All

00:48:21.179 --> 00:48:22.880
right, I changed mine to credit card. You're

00:48:22.880 --> 00:48:25.679
right. Well, I thought we were going to have

00:48:25.679 --> 00:48:27.659
each one of us picking a different one. But yeah,

00:48:27.739 --> 00:48:29.599
credit card is going to be the biggest fear.

00:48:30.159 --> 00:48:34.980
After he explained it, yes. Because I just had

00:48:34.980 --> 00:48:37.599
to recently shut off a credit card. And it's

00:48:37.599 --> 00:48:39.679
such a pain in the ass because I forgot all the

00:48:39.679 --> 00:48:43.820
stuff I had tied to it. And I had to retrace.

00:48:43.820 --> 00:48:45.920
I had to go on it and go, oh, okay. I didn't

00:48:45.920 --> 00:48:48.340
know I paid this bill with this. I didn't know

00:48:48.340 --> 00:48:50.880
I had that set up with this. And then you got

00:48:50.880 --> 00:48:53.860
to call every one of them and say, hey, the old

00:48:53.860 --> 00:48:55.920
one's canceled. Here's a new one before you cancel

00:48:55.920 --> 00:48:58.900
my service. You know, lights, internet, whatever,

00:48:59.159 --> 00:49:01.699
all that stuff, you know, TV. All of a sudden,

00:49:01.699 --> 00:49:03.780
one day your TV's gone. It's like, hey, how come

00:49:03.780 --> 00:49:06.340
I can't get nothing? Oh, yeah, their credit card.

00:49:06.719 --> 00:49:11.849
So, all right. The next one of greatest fear

00:49:11.849 --> 00:49:15.829
I have is being Jerry Jones' personal groomer,

00:49:15.989 --> 00:49:21.449
Terry Bradshaw's translator, or having to rate

00:49:21.449 --> 00:49:27.769
Dylan Mulvaney's nudes. Dylan Mulvaney. Yeah.

00:49:28.590 --> 00:49:37.010
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I do not want to rate his,

00:49:37.150 --> 00:49:39.510
hers, whatever, theirs, or whatever. I do not

00:49:39.510 --> 00:49:43.730
want to rate the nudes. No. No, no. I don't think

00:49:43.730 --> 00:49:48.389
about those. Jerry Jones might take a liking

00:49:48.389 --> 00:49:51.829
to you and give you a little bit of money. Terry

00:49:51.829 --> 00:49:53.889
Bradshaw would be funny being his translator.

00:49:54.070 --> 00:49:56.590
You could fuck with him. He seems like a really

00:49:56.590 --> 00:49:59.090
funny, personable guy, so that would be all right.

00:49:59.429 --> 00:50:23.539
But Dylan Mulvaney, no. No. I already did that

00:50:23.539 --> 00:50:29.440
with Whoopi Goldberg. Or hosting a Sweet 16 party

00:50:29.440 --> 00:50:36.619
at our age. Oh, Sweet 16 party. Yeah, Sweet 16

00:50:36.619 --> 00:50:38.780
party. I don't want to go anywhere near that.

00:50:38.800 --> 00:50:43.300
No, no. Losing our dinner on the show would just

00:50:43.300 --> 00:50:47.900
get us so many viewers. Yeah. Isn't that the

00:50:47.900 --> 00:50:49.820
show that a guy vomited on? That would just help

00:50:49.820 --> 00:50:54.820
us. Yeah. Our listeners love vomit. They love

00:50:54.820 --> 00:51:02.699
vomit. Oh, my gosh. All right, over. All right,

00:51:02.840 --> 00:51:06.539
next up. Which would be the biggest fear? Shaving

00:51:06.539 --> 00:51:17.559
Rosie O'Donnell's back? Or bleaching the butthole

00:51:17.559 --> 00:51:25.549
of David Hasselhoff? Boom, to the head. David

00:51:25.549 --> 00:51:31.309
Hasselhoff. Yeah, no, no, no. Yeah, that butthole's

00:51:31.309 --> 00:51:33.269
probably got way too many stories to tell, and

00:51:33.269 --> 00:51:36.630
I don't want to hear any of them. How he broke

00:51:36.630 --> 00:51:38.829
into Hollywood's a mystery, I think I know now.

00:51:41.210 --> 00:51:43.469
He broke into Hollywood because he got broke

00:51:43.469 --> 00:51:50.429
into. Okay. Yeah. All right. They kept telling

00:51:50.429 --> 00:51:52.690
him, sing in German while I do this. Come on,

00:51:52.730 --> 00:52:02.139
sing in German. Okay, that was pretty ugly. Mark,

00:52:02.199 --> 00:52:04.880
it's your turn to save this. Oh, okay, thank

00:52:04.880 --> 00:52:07.500
you. Yes, please do. Sorry, I'm over here still

00:52:07.500 --> 00:52:10.239
grimacing. I'm sorry, I need to get on with this.

00:52:10.280 --> 00:52:13.280
Oh, my God, we hand it to him to save us. Oh,

00:52:13.280 --> 00:52:16.659
my God. Yeah, that should never be said ever.

00:52:17.119 --> 00:52:21.719
All right, my greatest fear, Tiger Woods picking

00:52:21.719 --> 00:52:27.650
you up hitchhiking. Having a seance in Jonestown,

00:52:27.710 --> 00:52:32.829
Guyana. Or... Yeah. Or being Michael Vick's veterinarian.

00:52:35.949 --> 00:52:41.789
Tiger Woods. Tiger Woods. Yep. Tiger Woods will

00:52:41.789 --> 00:52:46.349
probably kill you. Yeah. He keeps living through

00:52:46.349 --> 00:52:49.469
it. He keeps living through it. I'm kind of...

00:52:49.469 --> 00:52:52.030
Yeah, this is true. You're going to be maimed.

00:52:53.809 --> 00:52:57.309
Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to have to go with my biggest

00:52:57.309 --> 00:52:59.809
fear would be the seance in Jonestown. Me too.

00:52:59.909 --> 00:53:01.610
You don't know what you're opening the door to

00:53:01.610 --> 00:53:04.269
there. Me too. There have been a lot of cyanide

00:53:04.269 --> 00:53:06.750
passed around and a lot of people died there.

00:53:06.869 --> 00:53:10.010
Yeah. Yeah. Could you imagine being the people

00:53:10.010 --> 00:53:13.489
that had to clean up those bodies? Oh, my God.

00:53:13.630 --> 00:53:15.530
It's like 100 degrees there and they've been

00:53:15.530 --> 00:53:20.630
sitting there dead for a few days. That must

00:53:20.630 --> 00:53:23.349
have been just life -altering in so many bad

00:53:23.349 --> 00:53:26.090
ways. Oh, yeah. I mean, first thing they did

00:53:26.090 --> 00:53:28.530
was they killed the senator when he arrived there,

00:53:28.670 --> 00:53:33.349
getting off the helicopter. Yeah, that's actually

00:53:33.349 --> 00:53:36.329
been filmed. The film of that still exists. You

00:53:36.329 --> 00:53:39.050
can see him getting shot to death. No, I saw

00:53:39.050 --> 00:53:42.349
it. The cameraman actually got shot, too, and

00:53:42.349 --> 00:53:45.110
falls over sideways when he keeps filming. Yeah.

00:53:45.690 --> 00:53:49.130
Oh, damn. Yeah, it's not good to watch, that's

00:53:49.130 --> 00:53:53.130
for sure. Yeah, I would not want to be there.

00:53:53.869 --> 00:53:56.429
wouldn't even want to be on the island, let alone

00:53:56.429 --> 00:54:07.630
having a seance. Yeah. Rob, save us. Are you

00:54:07.630 --> 00:54:12.489
sure about that? No. Okay. No, I'm not. No. This

00:54:12.489 --> 00:54:37.059
one ain't that bad. Okay. Well, this means no

00:54:37.059 --> 00:54:39.159
one could listen to our show if every computer

00:54:39.159 --> 00:54:43.280
crashed, right? Right. Would this be smartphones,

00:54:43.460 --> 00:54:47.880
too? Yeah, everything. We would lose all technology.

00:54:49.639 --> 00:54:56.699
Hmm. No internet. Yeah. No internet. Okay. Wow.

00:54:57.039 --> 00:54:59.960
Even though it sounds great, drivers not looking

00:54:59.960 --> 00:55:03.320
at their phones and not, you know, and not keeping

00:55:03.320 --> 00:55:07.920
it a green light for, extra long time that sounds

00:55:07.920 --> 00:55:11.659
great i still need my internet and you know in

00:55:11.659 --> 00:55:14.320
our show and everything so i'm gonna have to

00:55:14.320 --> 00:55:18.599
go with uh what was the first one again uh trapped

00:55:18.599 --> 00:55:23.579
in a coal mine okay humanity finding out we have

00:55:23.579 --> 00:55:27.239
24 hours left now that would be really rough

00:55:27.239 --> 00:55:39.980
i'm gonna go internet with humanity finding out

00:55:39.980 --> 00:55:42.539
they only have 24 hours left because then everybody

00:55:42.539 --> 00:55:44.840
would do everything they always wanted to and

00:55:44.840 --> 00:55:47.579
that last 24 hours would be total hell on earth.

00:55:47.800 --> 00:55:50.980
Yeah. That's like the question of the week. Would

00:55:50.980 --> 00:55:55.119
you tell if you decoded a message from outer

00:55:55.119 --> 00:55:57.719
space and they're going to kill us in 24 hours

00:55:57.719 --> 00:56:00.519
if you tell anybody? Mine was a solid hell no.

00:56:01.679 --> 00:56:13.619
Yeah. No point. No point. Oh, I think I already

00:56:13.619 --> 00:56:16.519
know. At least finding out it's going to be done

00:56:16.519 --> 00:56:22.579
in 24 hours. Hey. Yeah. Yeah, that's true. You

00:56:22.579 --> 00:56:24.699
know, I do have guns. Oh, wait. No, I don't.

00:56:24.719 --> 00:56:27.739
They're, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't. I don't have

00:56:27.739 --> 00:56:31.639
any guns. I'm sorry. Allegedly. Allegedly. Man,

00:56:32.579 --> 00:56:36.039
there's just no good choices there. No. Thanks,

00:56:36.300 --> 00:56:40.519
Rob. You did not save us. No. All right. Well,

00:56:40.599 --> 00:56:43.039
let me try to get this. on a different track.

00:56:43.219 --> 00:56:47.199
Okay, please. Alright. You get out of bed in

00:56:47.199 --> 00:56:49.380
the middle of the night. It's completely dark

00:56:49.380 --> 00:56:53.000
and you're on your way to the kitchen. And you

00:56:53.000 --> 00:56:56.519
step on something barefoot. Which would give

00:56:56.519 --> 00:57:00.300
you the biggest fear? It's cold and sticky? It's

00:57:00.300 --> 00:57:03.800
warm and squishy? Or it's room temperature but

00:57:03.800 --> 00:57:12.789
it's full of chunks? Oh! Chunks! All of it sucks.

00:57:14.289 --> 00:57:18.090
Yeah, I'm going to have to go with Chunks. I

00:57:18.090 --> 00:57:19.889
have five dogs. I'm going to have to go with

00:57:19.889 --> 00:57:22.949
Chunks. Yeah, I think Chunks is pretty bad. That

00:57:22.949 --> 00:57:27.730
scares you. Oh, my God. In the middle of the

00:57:27.730 --> 00:57:32.809
night, yeah. I've actually stepped on Warm and

00:57:32.809 --> 00:57:34.650
Squishy in the middle of the night barefoot,

00:57:34.710 --> 00:57:42.820
and that's pretty bad. That's bad, too. I remember

00:57:42.820 --> 00:57:46.019
when we were young teenagers, me and Davey at

00:57:46.019 --> 00:57:49.179
his parents' house, and we thought we were cute.

00:57:49.360 --> 00:57:51.559
We were spitting all over the rug in his room.

00:57:51.719 --> 00:57:54.679
And his mom come up barefooted, and she goes,

00:57:54.760 --> 00:57:57.239
what's all this wetness? And she looked at us

00:57:57.239 --> 00:57:59.800
and goes, you guys are chewing, aren't you? No,

00:57:59.820 --> 00:58:03.500
you guys are spitting on the floor. How did she

00:58:03.500 --> 00:58:07.800
know? Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Yeah, we got ran

00:58:07.800 --> 00:58:10.340
out of the house. I didn't get my ass whipped

00:58:10.340 --> 00:58:12.219
because I was smart enough to not come back for

00:58:12.219 --> 00:58:14.179
a few weeks, but I'm pretty sure Davey got his

00:58:14.179 --> 00:58:18.920
ass whipped. Yeah. Yeah. Probably a few times.

00:58:19.219 --> 00:58:24.380
Oh, yeah, I'm sure. Sure. Yep. All right. Greatest

00:58:24.380 --> 00:58:30.960
fear? Being Diddy's baby oiler. Justin Bieber's

00:58:30.960 --> 00:58:36.909
proctologist. Or... Squeezing a puss pocket on

00:58:36.909 --> 00:58:41.969
the inner thigh of Bette Midler. Oh, Bette Midler.

00:58:42.570 --> 00:58:47.809
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I guess so, but oof. I don't

00:58:47.809 --> 00:58:51.809
want to be her pimple popper. Yeah. You were

00:58:51.809 --> 00:58:54.389
definitely working on her and all above on that

00:58:54.389 --> 00:58:58.489
one. Yeah. Wow. That was what I thought. I thought

00:58:58.489 --> 00:59:01.550
everyone was going to trade in their get out

00:59:01.550 --> 00:59:06.559
of jail free card on that one. Yeah, yeah. Justin

00:59:06.559 --> 00:59:08.860
Bieber is pretty close. It is. Justin Bieber

00:59:08.860 --> 00:59:13.880
is a pretty close second. Yeah. Yeah. I'm going

00:59:13.880 --> 00:59:19.480
to go with that because of rage. Yes. Another

00:59:19.480 --> 00:59:23.559
good point. Yeah. And what if that gets you in

00:59:23.559 --> 00:59:27.199
the eye? And it gets you in the eye accidentally?

00:59:27.280 --> 00:59:31.380
You're squeezing and it goes... No, no, no, thank

00:59:31.380 --> 00:59:36.250
you. You'll have terminal pink eye. I would claw

00:59:36.250 --> 00:59:38.789
my eye out immediately so it doesn't infect the

00:59:38.789 --> 00:59:45.110
rest of my body. This eye sees demons now. This

00:59:45.110 --> 00:59:50.969
eye sees demons. Where's the Drano? My God, someone

00:59:50.969 --> 01:00:01.030
find the Drano right now. Rob, I would tell you

01:00:01.030 --> 01:00:36.230
to save us. Alright, alright. gonna have to go

01:00:36.230 --> 01:00:40.070
with the last one uh that's just like a full

01:00:40.070 --> 01:00:44.929
night of torture pretty much yeah volcano is

01:00:44.929 --> 01:00:49.210
going to be quick yes i'll let you know how it

01:00:49.210 --> 01:00:55.869
goes that came from real life experience it sounds

01:00:55.869 --> 01:01:13.380
like Okay. All right. Which would be your biggest

01:01:13.380 --> 01:01:17.900
fear? A mega tour that reunites all the boy bands.

01:01:18.260 --> 01:01:23.119
Oh. A film festival for movies that identify

01:01:23.119 --> 01:01:29.460
as woke. Oh. Or a long business retreat in the

01:01:29.460 --> 01:01:32.820
crappiest motel in random small town North Dakota.

01:01:35.039 --> 01:01:36.739
I'm going to have to go with the middle one.

01:01:39.619 --> 01:01:45.159
Yeah. Yeah, I think that would kill a lot of

01:01:45.159 --> 01:01:47.559
brain cells, I think. It would. I mean, all of

01:01:47.559 --> 01:01:50.500
that sounds very sucky. It sounds horrible, but

01:01:50.500 --> 01:01:53.320
the middle one is just a little bit more sucky.

01:01:54.139 --> 01:01:58.440
Yeah. All right, I've got one more. All righty.

01:01:58.460 --> 01:02:01.599
Biggest fear, greatest fear. Construction bunker

01:02:01.599 --> 01:02:08.570
builder in Iran. A gay porn fluffer. Or being

01:02:08.570 --> 01:02:16.730
a masseuse in drag for Deshaun Watson? Oh! I'm

01:02:16.730 --> 01:02:18.210
going to have to go with a masseuse. That is

01:02:18.210 --> 01:02:22.849
not going to happen. Masseuse in drag. Yeah,

01:02:22.949 --> 01:02:26.489
that's off the table. Definitely right off the

01:02:26.489 --> 01:02:28.289
table. Yeah, no, no thank you. Anything to do

01:02:28.289 --> 01:02:32.070
with Deshaun Watson, no. No, no thank you. Rob,

01:02:32.190 --> 01:02:36.670
do you have any more? All right, cool. All right,

01:02:36.690 --> 01:02:40.429
let's take our first break. And yeah, we're really

01:02:40.429 --> 01:02:43.230
late. Imagine that. And then we'll be right back

01:02:43.230 --> 01:02:47.090
with some emails. And I have two featured emails

01:02:47.090 --> 01:02:51.530
this time. All right, we will be right back.

01:03:01.400 --> 01:03:03.659
Self -righteous assholes that want to tell you

01:03:03.659 --> 01:03:05.679
what you're doing wrong, but will not address

01:03:05.679 --> 01:03:09.420
this for themselves. One newer issue among these

01:03:09.420 --> 01:03:12.780
dullards is the stolen land gimmick. They tell

01:03:12.780 --> 01:03:15.460
us we need to give up the land back, but when

01:03:15.460 --> 01:03:18.440
they were confronted, they offered nothing. Therefore,

01:03:18.539 --> 01:03:22.000
hypocrites and liars. Alyssa Milano, hypocrite

01:03:22.000 --> 01:03:26.059
and a liar. Mark Ruffalo, hypocrite and a liar.

01:03:26.320 --> 01:03:31.289
Jane Fonda, longtime hypocrite, liar. Elizabeth

01:03:31.289 --> 01:03:35.989
Warren, long -time idiot, liar, hypocrite. Leonardo

01:03:35.989 --> 01:03:38.849
DiCaprio, your name might be on a list somewhere

01:03:38.849 --> 01:03:41.710
that just came out. I don't know. Possibly. Maybe

01:03:41.710 --> 01:03:45.070
you need to shut your mouth. Yeah, you probably

01:03:45.070 --> 01:03:49.710
do. Billie Eilish, liar. Ben and Jerry, liars.

01:03:50.309 --> 01:03:52.809
We go on for another hour, but you get the point.

01:03:52.909 --> 01:03:55.829
I once again present to you the You First Movement.

01:03:56.199 --> 01:03:58.920
This is when you mouth off about stolen land

01:03:58.920 --> 01:04:01.800
or anything else, you go first. You live on stolen

01:04:01.800 --> 01:04:04.599
land, you give your land back, but until this

01:04:04.599 --> 01:04:10.039
happens, shut the fuck up. Out. Remember to bleach

01:04:10.039 --> 01:04:16.300
your Bluetooth after every show. Jam X. What

01:04:16.300 --> 01:04:20.679
the hell happened? You were the generation of

01:04:20.679 --> 01:04:26.760
change. You never wanted to be one of them. Apathy

01:04:26.760 --> 01:04:32.320
spoke for you. Muck the man. Muck the system.

01:04:33.239 --> 01:04:37.500
What the hell happened? The generation of angst?

01:04:37.679 --> 01:04:42.099
The generation of non -compliance? Is now buying

01:04:42.099 --> 01:04:45.320
a boat? You're really fed up to kill someone

01:04:45.320 --> 01:04:50.300
dangled a dollar near you? Great job, Xers. Everything's

01:04:50.300 --> 01:04:55.820
ruined. Hey, all you ginger snaps. It's time

01:04:55.820 --> 01:04:58.480
for the douchebag question of the week. Turn

01:04:58.480 --> 01:05:03.440
all answers into two douches at mail .com. Spell

01:05:03.440 --> 01:05:07.300
out the number two. Send in your replies or Rob

01:05:07.300 --> 01:05:11.519
will find you. He is waiting for the word. Don't

01:05:11.519 --> 01:05:17.960
be bashful. You'll get yourself hurt. Your alarm

01:05:17.960 --> 01:05:21.679
goes off. You sleep through it. You wake up.

01:05:22.059 --> 01:05:25.440
and have little time to get ready for work. Because

01:05:25.440 --> 01:05:27.619
of your sleepiness, you are pressed for time.

01:05:28.239 --> 01:05:32.440
So you have to double task. The question, is

01:05:32.440 --> 01:05:34.639
it gross to brush your teeth while taking a dump?

01:05:35.539 --> 01:05:38.579
Submit your answers to 2douches at mail .com.

01:05:40.380 --> 01:05:45.059
You watched the news. It looks grim. Is an apocalypse

01:05:45.059 --> 01:05:48.860
inevitable? We suggest you download all our podcasts

01:05:48.860 --> 01:05:52.039
beforehand and have multiple mobile chargers.

01:05:52.159 --> 01:05:58.500
We have the post -apocalypse. Post -apocalypse

01:05:58.500 --> 01:06:01.440
protein might be hard to come by. The animals

01:06:01.440 --> 01:06:04.480
could be contaminated or scarce, if any at all.

01:06:04.599 --> 01:06:07.440
This is where protein powder is essential in

01:06:07.440 --> 01:06:10.460
a post -apocalypse survival. The powder is easy

01:06:10.460 --> 01:06:13.719
to keep and does not require refrigeration. Hey

01:06:13.719 --> 01:06:16.500
there, fuckstick. You're just in time for brand

01:06:16.500 --> 01:06:19.800
new feature news nobody gives a shit about. An

01:06:19.800 --> 01:06:22.320
80 -year -old Bulgarian man has the record for

01:06:22.320 --> 01:06:28.099
the longest nose hair ever at three feet. Hey,

01:06:28.239 --> 01:06:31.179
my fellow heavy breathers, this is Dash Riptide,

01:06:31.320 --> 01:06:36.900
your music news. Legendary guitarist Sackwild

01:06:36.900 --> 01:06:40.159
unretires the Grail, the 1981 Gibbs and Les Paul

01:06:40.159 --> 01:06:44.030
for the new Ozzy Osbourne tribute track. You

01:06:44.030 --> 01:06:46.050
know this guitar. It's the bullseye Les Paul

01:06:46.050 --> 01:06:48.170
he made famous in the first few years of joining

01:06:48.170 --> 01:06:51.710
Ozzy. The grill, as the guitar is known as. Zack

01:06:51.710 --> 01:06:53.849
is unretiring the beauty for a tribute track

01:06:53.849 --> 01:06:56.570
saluting the Prince of Darkness. No word on when

01:06:56.570 --> 01:06:59.030
or how the song will hit the public. We will

01:06:59.030 --> 01:07:02.550
keep you posted. This is Gash Rooktine, and that

01:07:02.550 --> 01:07:05.829
was your music news. If it's too loud, you probably

01:07:05.829 --> 01:07:15.579
have ear damage, just like me. Hey everybody,

01:07:15.840 --> 01:07:18.679
this is Uncle Rob. I'm going to give you some

01:07:18.679 --> 01:07:23.039
tips for life. When you want to save a park bench,

01:07:23.300 --> 01:07:26.519
but you have to come back to it, just carry one

01:07:26.519 --> 01:07:30.099
paint side, and bam, you'll have the bench all

01:07:30.099 --> 01:07:43.440
year, so when you get back... Two douchebags!

01:07:44.199 --> 01:07:46.219
No, wait a minute. The Douchebag Gangbang. I'm

01:07:46.219 --> 01:07:48.460
sorry about that. This is Mark at the Talk is

01:07:48.460 --> 01:07:51.820
Cheap studio at the extreme southern tip of the

01:07:51.820 --> 01:08:15.920
Kansas City Metroplex. Dinosaur. And the Duck

01:08:15.920 --> 01:08:21.020
Park Studio. And I am Topher in the Paisley Possum

01:08:21.020 --> 01:08:23.479
Studio just south of historic Waldo, Missouri.

01:08:23.739 --> 01:08:26.760
The coffee is hot and available 24 hours a day.

01:08:26.939 --> 01:08:30.319
The space heater is on. And I'm actually looking

01:08:30.319 --> 01:08:32.539
forward to mowing my lawn for the first time

01:08:32.539 --> 01:08:39.779
this year. Cool. All right. All right. We have

01:08:39.779 --> 01:08:43.689
some emails. First one. Hey guys, I went by that

01:08:43.689 --> 01:08:47.010
hideous monument in Harrisonville last week.

01:08:47.170 --> 01:08:49.510
It does look like one side had been scrubbed.

01:08:49.529 --> 01:08:51.529
I think it might have really been vandalized,

01:08:51.550 --> 01:08:53.909
like Mitch said. Other than that, I believe nothing

01:08:53.909 --> 01:08:59.449
he says. Roger and Council Bluffs. I guess he

01:08:59.449 --> 01:09:03.010
was on vacation down there. I don't know. He

01:09:03.010 --> 01:09:05.850
says he's from Council Bluffs, which is Iowa,

01:09:06.029 --> 01:09:11.600
over the other side of Omaha. Yeah, I could believe

01:09:11.600 --> 01:09:14.340
it was. Well, I think you said it best, Topher.

01:09:14.359 --> 01:09:16.239
You said if something sits there long enough,

01:09:16.399 --> 01:09:18.840
it will get tagged. It will get vandalized, right?

01:09:19.899 --> 01:09:23.119
Yeah. So, yeah. Someone's going to leave a mark

01:09:23.119 --> 01:09:26.279
on it. Yep. And I agree with Roger and Council

01:09:26.279 --> 01:09:28.279
Bluffs. Other than that, he believes nothing

01:09:28.279 --> 01:09:35.359
Mitch says. I'm on board. All right. Next one.

01:09:36.279 --> 01:09:38.539
Mark, what do you add to your cream of wheat

01:09:38.539 --> 01:09:41.600
cereal to jazz it up a bit? Finn in Houston.

01:09:43.180 --> 01:09:46.220
I add celery and radishes to make a cream of

01:09:46.220 --> 01:09:50.760
wheat salad. There's nothing better. I think

01:09:50.760 --> 01:09:54.060
I would make some after the show. Yep, cream

01:09:54.060 --> 01:10:00.960
of wheat salad is great shit. So, and they didn't

01:10:00.960 --> 01:10:04.439
leave a name. Oh, no, no, Finn in Houston. I'm

01:10:04.439 --> 01:10:07.090
sorry. All right, thank you. Thank you, Finn.

01:10:08.869 --> 01:10:11.210
All right, next one. During the music creeps,

01:10:11.210 --> 01:10:13.189
you guys seemed to talk more about sports than

01:10:13.189 --> 01:10:18.229
music. I thought it was a music show. Well, my...

01:10:18.229 --> 01:10:21.130
Topher, you got something you want to say about

01:10:21.130 --> 01:10:26.069
this? I do. Well, you know, sometimes someone

01:10:26.069 --> 01:10:28.609
comes by and they want to talk about sports,

01:10:28.710 --> 01:10:30.989
so we're not going to tell them, shut up and

01:10:30.989 --> 01:10:33.670
go away, it's a music show. We just let them

01:10:33.670 --> 01:10:38.689
talk about sports. And sometimes I forget stuff

01:10:38.689 --> 01:10:41.409
during the sports show and the music show comes

01:10:41.409 --> 01:10:43.149
along. It's like, oh, damn, I wanted to talk

01:10:43.149 --> 01:10:45.090
about this thing before it doesn't make any difference

01:10:45.090 --> 01:10:48.630
anymore. So that's partly my fault because I'm

01:10:48.630 --> 01:10:51.229
old and I forget stuff. I do it too. It has nothing

01:10:51.229 --> 01:10:53.210
to do with the marijuana. It has nothing to do

01:10:53.210 --> 01:10:54.770
with how much weed I smoke. It's just because

01:10:54.770 --> 01:10:59.909
I'm old. And also, I would like to say this.

01:11:00.029 --> 01:11:03.920
Franco is a very, very knowledgeable. sports

01:11:03.920 --> 01:11:06.359
fan and whenever he comes by talking football

01:11:06.359 --> 01:11:09.939
or anything we like to record it because the

01:11:09.939 --> 01:11:12.800
guy is really good very informative very smart

01:11:12.800 --> 01:11:16.640
fan and he has a lot to say and he knows all

01:11:16.640 --> 01:11:19.079
the latest stuff going on so hell yeah whenever

01:11:19.079 --> 01:11:22.539
he comes by we're going to put him on and and

01:11:22.539 --> 01:11:24.319
then other than that it's stuff that we forget

01:11:24.319 --> 01:11:28.659
and we bring it back up so um And I guess we

01:11:28.659 --> 01:11:31.100
could edit that part out and include it on the

01:11:31.100 --> 01:11:33.539
next sports show, but by then it might not be

01:11:33.539 --> 01:11:35.920
relevant anymore. You see, I almost did that

01:11:35.920 --> 01:11:41.539
last time with the big Franco section in it,

01:11:41.560 --> 01:11:44.220
and then I was like, no, you know what? No, it's

01:11:44.220 --> 01:11:47.220
good, and I'm just leaving it like it is. Yeah.

01:11:47.619 --> 01:11:50.220
Too much trouble. If someone doesn't like it,

01:11:50.239 --> 01:11:54.079
they can turn it off. Yeah. But we'll try to

01:11:54.079 --> 01:11:56.420
work in extra music stuff to make up for that.

01:11:56.779 --> 01:11:59.220
Yeah, there we go. And they didn't leave. This

01:11:59.220 --> 01:12:01.479
one, I don't think they left a name. Let me make

01:12:01.479 --> 01:12:06.779
sure of that. Nope, they did not. Okay. Next

01:12:06.779 --> 01:12:09.739
one. We'll just call them Disappointed Listener

01:12:09.739 --> 01:12:14.479
in someplace planet Earth. Yeah, there we go.

01:12:15.420 --> 01:12:17.899
All right. Thank you, Disappointed Listener somewhere

01:12:17.899 --> 01:12:22.079
on Earth. We appreciate your comments. All right.

01:12:22.159 --> 01:12:25.039
The next one for Topher. Could you watch my pet

01:12:25.039 --> 01:12:27.819
rabbit in your studio? I have to be gone for

01:12:27.819 --> 01:12:29.739
a week. Please and thank you. You're the best.

01:12:31.020 --> 01:12:33.899
And they didn't leave a name either. Sorry, go

01:12:33.899 --> 01:12:37.060
ahead. Well, I can actually care for the rabbit

01:12:37.060 --> 01:12:41.000
for a week or so. I no longer have a snake, so

01:12:41.000 --> 01:12:42.579
you don't have to worry about the snake eating

01:12:42.579 --> 01:12:45.800
the rabbit. There you go. I had a boa constrictor

01:12:45.800 --> 01:12:50.079
that I named Vinny, partly after Alice Cooper,

01:12:50.260 --> 01:12:53.699
whose birth name was Vincent Fournier, and partly

01:12:53.699 --> 01:12:56.380
after John Travolta's character on Pulp Fiction.

01:12:56.750 --> 01:12:59.850
Vincent Vega. Oh, wow. I thought it was after

01:12:59.850 --> 01:13:02.750
Vincent Price. I didn't know it was that. Well,

01:13:03.329 --> 01:13:06.170
that could be Vincent Price, too. All the famous

01:13:06.170 --> 01:13:09.989
Vincents. Could be Vinnie Vincent, too. Why the

01:13:09.989 --> 01:13:15.289
hell? But he lived about 20, 21 years. He got

01:13:15.289 --> 01:13:18.670
to be almost 9 feet long by the time he passed.

01:13:18.869 --> 01:13:22.449
So he could have eaten any cat and maybe a small

01:13:22.449 --> 01:13:27.670
dog. But he lived on my rats that had already

01:13:27.670 --> 01:13:31.350
been killed. I never fed him anything alive and

01:13:31.350 --> 01:13:33.729
let him kill it. It was already pre -killed.

01:13:34.989 --> 01:13:37.229
That's cool. I've got pictures of him crawling

01:13:37.229 --> 01:13:40.289
around my cats, and the cat just looks at it

01:13:40.289 --> 01:13:41.710
like, what the hell is this thing? The snake

01:13:41.710 --> 01:13:44.250
just crawls right past. It's like, you don't

01:13:44.250 --> 01:13:46.210
smell right. You don't smell like a rat. Yeah,

01:13:46.229 --> 01:13:49.689
he's used to being dead, eating dead stuff. Yep.

01:13:50.350 --> 01:13:55.079
Yep. So, long story short, I can care for the

01:13:55.079 --> 01:13:57.760
rabbit for a week. There you go, and they didn't

01:13:57.760 --> 01:13:59.539
leave a name either. Try to leave your name,

01:13:59.680 --> 01:14:02.180
people, okay, and we'll say your name. All right,

01:14:02.279 --> 01:14:05.659
so thank you, whoever you are. Yeah, don't worry.

01:14:05.720 --> 01:14:08.100
I won't eat the rabbit because I've had rabbits

01:14:08.100 --> 01:14:11.060
before, and meh, I really don't like it. They're

01:14:11.060 --> 01:14:12.520
really greasy. I promise I won't eat your rabbit.

01:14:13.439 --> 01:14:15.840
I'm glad they asked you because I probably would.

01:14:17.720 --> 01:14:19.920
No, I will eat a squirrel. I like squirrels.

01:14:20.760 --> 01:14:25.399
Yeah, I'm a gutter boy, so. Yeah, biscuits with

01:14:25.399 --> 01:14:28.960
squirrel gravy, mmm, that's good stuff. Never

01:14:28.960 --> 01:14:33.020
had it. Yeah. Well, I may have had squirrel one

01:14:33.020 --> 01:14:35.100
night. I grew up learning a lot of, I learned

01:14:35.100 --> 01:14:37.439
a lot of Depression -era food from my mother

01:14:37.439 --> 01:14:42.520
and grandmother. And a pigeon squab. Yep. Yep,

01:14:42.600 --> 01:14:45.239
my grandfather would drive around the country

01:14:45.239 --> 01:14:48.659
roads trying to sell for John Deere, and he'd

01:14:48.659 --> 01:14:51.300
take his pistol with him, and if he saw something

01:14:51.300 --> 01:14:53.199
edible, he'd shoot it and bring it home to eat.

01:14:53.560 --> 01:15:01.100
Wow. Boy, times have changed. Yeah. I will categorically

01:15:01.100 --> 01:15:05.039
deny having any knowledge of me actually having

01:15:05.039 --> 01:15:07.939
that pistol in my possession. Allegedly. Yeah.

01:15:08.140 --> 01:15:14.069
Yep, yep, allegedly. All right, the next one.

01:15:14.189 --> 01:15:16.430
I think I found the episode that contains the

01:15:16.430 --> 01:15:18.750
famous Bluetooth old man you worked with story.

01:15:18.989 --> 01:15:22.010
It's season two, episode four. I found it on

01:15:22.010 --> 01:15:25.210
Amazon Music, Rossington in Texas. Thank you,

01:15:25.210 --> 01:15:29.390
Ross. I will look that up. That had to take a

01:15:29.390 --> 01:15:31.789
lot of work. That's awesome that you took the

01:15:31.789 --> 01:15:35.590
time to do that. Oh, I know. Ross, Rossington,

01:15:35.810 --> 01:15:39.090
he calls himself by both. We love him. He is

01:15:39.090 --> 01:15:42.989
one of our most... Best listeners ever. He is

01:15:42.989 --> 01:15:47.130
so good. And he's down in Dallas. So thank you,

01:15:47.149 --> 01:15:50.890
Rossington. This is actually very humbling, you

01:15:50.890 --> 01:15:53.149
know, that he went to the trouble to find that

01:15:53.149 --> 01:15:56.710
out and let us know. That's humbling. I'm just

01:15:56.710 --> 01:15:59.909
so impressed. So am I. I couldn't believe it.

01:15:59.930 --> 01:16:02.069
And he also let me know where I can get all the

01:16:02.069 --> 01:16:05.510
episodes. Amazon Music. They don't cut them off.

01:16:06.229 --> 01:16:09.229
Excellent. Yeah, so there you go. Anyone that's

01:16:09.229 --> 01:16:11.670
bitching about not finding an episode, Ross just

01:16:11.670 --> 01:16:14.590
told you. Amazon Music. Thank you, Rossington.

01:16:14.810 --> 01:16:20.149
You are the best, and it's no joke. All right.

01:16:22.010 --> 01:16:24.529
Let's see. Just thought I would throw in my two

01:16:24.529 --> 01:16:27.109
cents about the Gang Bang show. I give it five

01:16:27.109 --> 01:16:30.810
stars. Love it. Ronnie and Tulsa. The Tulsa King.

01:16:30.930 --> 01:16:34.930
Another royalty. Excellent. Another royalty.

01:16:36.319 --> 01:16:40.560
Yeah, Ronnie's been since day one. And Ross,

01:16:40.840 --> 01:16:43.899
I believe, was day one. But I think he used to

01:16:43.899 --> 01:16:46.140
go by a different name or something. But anyhow,

01:16:46.380 --> 01:16:48.479
they're both just dynamic listeners. And thank

01:16:48.479 --> 01:16:51.920
you both. That's pretty good that they've listened

01:16:51.920 --> 01:16:55.060
from day one and they still have a sane and rational

01:16:55.060 --> 01:16:57.819
mind. So y 'all can stop worrying and go ahead

01:16:57.819 --> 01:16:59.460
and listen to all the episodes. Yeah, you see?

01:17:00.600 --> 01:17:08.239
It won't harm you. Ross and Ronnie lived through

01:17:08.239 --> 01:17:12.060
it. I think your dog will probably give the two

01:17:12.060 --> 01:17:13.859
-headed puppies, but, you know, it's not going

01:17:13.859 --> 01:17:16.460
to hurt you. Well, I mean, I put earplugs in

01:17:16.460 --> 01:17:19.640
my dog's ears. That way it doesn't happen. Yeah.

01:17:19.939 --> 01:17:24.619
Yeah, that's the best thing to do. Oh, this next

01:17:24.619 --> 01:17:31.300
one is... I can't have my material. This next

01:17:31.300 --> 01:17:35.840
one's for you, Rob. And I don't know. This is

01:17:35.840 --> 01:17:39.380
odd. Well, I don't know. Okay, I'll just ask

01:17:39.380 --> 01:17:42.760
it. Rob, are you part Native American? You look

01:17:42.760 --> 01:17:44.640
at according to your picture on your Facebook

01:17:44.640 --> 01:17:48.199
page, Jen in Orlando Heights. I guess that's

01:17:48.199 --> 01:17:56.739
Orlando area. Actually, on my mom's side, we

01:17:56.739 --> 01:18:00.619
do have a little bit of Chick -fil -A. Nice.

01:18:01.000 --> 01:18:07.439
Jen is right then. bit but yeah but most of our

01:18:07.439 --> 01:18:11.460
heritage is from like northern England and Ireland

01:18:11.460 --> 01:18:16.859
on my mom and dad's side but yeah on my mom's

01:18:16.859 --> 01:18:19.939
side but actually both sides are family they

01:18:19.939 --> 01:18:24.220
all settled down around Oklahoma and moved up

01:18:24.220 --> 01:18:28.399
into Kansas yeah so yeah so we do have a little

01:18:28.399 --> 01:18:33.350
bit of chintzal blood in us okay then Jen hit

01:18:33.350 --> 01:18:36.250
it right then, I guess. So thank you, Jen. Good

01:18:36.250 --> 01:18:39.729
call. Thank you. Thank you. Oh, and by the way,

01:18:39.789 --> 01:18:43.449
I have been noticing we have been having a lot

01:18:43.449 --> 01:18:46.970
more viewers on the Facebook page. Yes. Yep.

01:18:47.170 --> 01:18:51.170
Jen is one of them. We're getting over 10 a day.

01:18:51.850 --> 01:18:56.890
That's good. That's really good. Yeah. And different

01:18:56.890 --> 01:18:59.489
people, not the same. So thank you, guys. Thank

01:18:59.489 --> 01:19:04.460
you. Keep going. They are. They are. Yeah, that

01:19:04.460 --> 01:19:08.500
is good. This show is just, honestly, we couldn't

01:19:08.500 --> 01:19:10.279
ask for it to go any better, I think, right?

01:19:10.460 --> 01:19:14.840
I mean, it's just, yeah. All right, and then

01:19:14.840 --> 01:19:17.399
another one here. Tipping to go orders before

01:19:17.399 --> 01:19:20.119
we go to our featured emails. Tipping to go orders

01:19:20.119 --> 01:19:23.420
is rubbish, and most of the new added -on tips

01:19:23.420 --> 01:19:26.560
are not justified either. Martha in Wisconsin.

01:19:26.840 --> 01:19:29.479
And that's to one of our questions of the week

01:19:29.479 --> 01:19:33.510
about tipping gone too far. And Martha, yes,

01:19:33.829 --> 01:19:39.010
I agree. Yeah, totally agree. Yeah, I mean. Yeah,

01:19:39.010 --> 01:19:42.689
tipping has entered that category of they're

01:19:42.689 --> 01:19:45.729
going to keep raising it until you say, no, that's

01:19:45.729 --> 01:19:48.489
too much. So they're going to keep upping it

01:19:48.489 --> 01:19:52.890
and upping it until you have had enough. And

01:19:52.890 --> 01:19:56.750
also the shame, whenever you don't give like

01:19:56.750 --> 01:19:59.250
what they feel a suitable tip, like a coffee

01:19:59.250 --> 01:20:04.020
shop or something, you get that look. They don't

01:20:04.020 --> 01:20:06.520
say anything, but you get that look. And it's

01:20:06.520 --> 01:20:11.359
like, it's almost like tip shaming. So. Yeah.

01:20:11.699 --> 01:20:17.279
Yeah. My biggest problem. What? I was just going

01:20:17.279 --> 01:20:20.140
to say, my biggest problem is on -to -go orders.

01:20:20.880 --> 01:20:24.060
Yes. We're paying you to, you know, you're not

01:20:24.060 --> 01:20:33.779
cleaning up after us, nothing. Before COVID,

01:20:33.859 --> 01:20:36.560
that never existed, and they never took it away

01:20:36.560 --> 01:20:39.720
after COVID. I resent that. It pisses me off.

01:20:40.180 --> 01:20:45.640
Yeah. It is getting ridiculous. It is. All right.

01:20:45.819 --> 01:20:49.060
These are the two featured emails. The first

01:20:49.060 --> 01:20:51.939
one is for Rob. Rob, hey, you keep forgetting

01:20:51.939 --> 01:20:55.579
Hikimo Country Store has sushi. I've never heard

01:20:55.579 --> 01:21:08.909
you mention it. Elaine in Springfield. does not

01:21:08.909 --> 01:21:13.250
have sushi they they do like fried foods and

01:21:13.250 --> 01:21:16.770
burgers and stuff like that and burritos yeah

01:21:16.770 --> 01:21:22.930
and burritos yeah uh now i know they do have

01:21:22.930 --> 01:21:26.329
fried chicken too awesome fried chicken oh i'll

01:21:26.329 --> 01:21:30.489
have to go there and try some yeah their burritos

01:21:30.489 --> 01:21:39.779
are good Oh, then maybe that's what she's talking

01:21:39.779 --> 01:21:44.060
about. Yeah, but I know the cafe does not. They

01:21:44.060 --> 01:21:47.880
do not have anything fresh like that. All their

01:21:47.880 --> 01:21:51.479
stuff's frozen. Is it possible that maybe she

01:21:51.479 --> 01:21:54.020
was in the bait shop instead and just thought

01:21:54.020 --> 01:21:57.000
she was in the country store? That's it. No,

01:21:57.199 --> 01:22:00.779
they don't have a bait shop. Oh, okay. No, I

01:22:00.779 --> 01:22:05.060
think they do. No, I think they do. Okay, that's

01:22:05.060 --> 01:22:07.649
what it was. I don't know. Elaine saw the minnows

01:22:07.649 --> 01:22:25.750
and thought sushi. That's it. Okay. All right.

01:22:25.810 --> 01:22:28.670
Well, Elaine, thank you very much. So there you

01:22:28.670 --> 01:22:33.350
go. That was good. Yeah, it was. Okay. I found

01:22:33.350 --> 01:22:36.210
out that this was my story by a couple of sources,

01:22:36.350 --> 01:22:39.529
so I'll go ahead and answer it. But if you guys

01:22:39.529 --> 01:22:43.489
have your two cents, you can chime in, okay?

01:22:43.810 --> 01:22:47.829
So this one is for me. Mark, you had a story

01:22:47.829 --> 01:22:50.029
on The Music Creeps about Sharon Osbourne talking

01:22:50.029 --> 01:22:53.390
about Ozzy the morning he passed away. He said

01:22:53.390 --> 01:22:55.529
that he had a dream about lines of people he

01:22:55.529 --> 01:22:58.569
didn't know walking by looking at him. Do you

01:22:58.569 --> 01:23:01.229
have any thoughts on that? Jesse and Lone Jack.

01:23:03.479 --> 01:23:08.340
Um, yeah. Unfortunately, I do have some experience

01:23:08.340 --> 01:23:12.739
in people that are almost departed. My first

01:23:12.739 --> 01:23:15.520
experience with a person crossing over was an

01:23:15.520 --> 01:23:19.319
ex of mine. Her dad had advanced cancer and he

01:23:19.319 --> 01:23:21.939
was a day away from passing. I went to go say

01:23:21.939 --> 01:23:24.739
my goodbye and he was staring off into thin air

01:23:24.739 --> 01:23:27.619
talking to someone. The family told me he was

01:23:27.619 --> 01:23:30.260
mentioning his aunt that passed before him and

01:23:30.260 --> 01:23:35.029
he was talking to her. I have witnessed other

01:23:35.029 --> 01:23:38.850
episodes like this with other people that are

01:23:38.850 --> 01:23:43.510
crossing over. This happens a lot. See, I believe

01:23:43.510 --> 01:23:48.390
that these souls are crossing over and they come

01:23:48.390 --> 01:23:52.369
back to say goodbye. They normally have a small

01:23:52.369 --> 01:23:55.210
portion of time where they're lucid and clear

01:23:55.210 --> 01:23:58.229
-minded enough to say goodbye. And I believe

01:23:58.229 --> 01:24:01.539
they go ahead and cross over. So I believe Ozzy

01:24:01.539 --> 01:24:04.039
was crossing over that night. They said, you

01:24:04.039 --> 01:24:06.520
can go back, say your goodbyes. He came back,

01:24:07.600 --> 01:24:09.819
he said goodbye, and he asked Sharon to hold

01:24:09.819 --> 01:24:13.199
him tight and not let him go. So that right there

01:24:13.199 --> 01:24:17.699
confirms to me my belief that people cross over,

01:24:17.819 --> 01:24:20.119
they're told you can go back and say goodbye

01:24:20.119 --> 01:24:22.819
to your family, and then you come back. And I

01:24:22.819 --> 01:24:26.100
think that's what it is in my humble opinion.

01:24:26.439 --> 01:24:31.329
You guys have anything? Yeah, I got an idea on

01:24:31.329 --> 01:24:38.369
that. Okay. It seems like there is a lot of evidence

01:24:38.369 --> 01:24:45.010
from the science world, physicists and people

01:24:45.010 --> 01:24:49.710
who look into how the universe was created, that

01:24:49.710 --> 01:24:54.430
suggests that although we perceive time as going

01:24:54.430 --> 01:24:58.289
from yesterday through today into tomorrow when

01:24:58.289 --> 01:25:02.520
it goes in one direction, That that's what's

01:25:02.520 --> 01:25:05.060
real for us because that's the only way we can

01:25:05.060 --> 01:25:08.000
understand time. But that's not necessarily how

01:25:08.000 --> 01:25:11.140
time is all the time everywhere for everything.

01:25:11.779 --> 01:25:15.939
And there's a lot of evidence that all moments

01:25:15.939 --> 01:25:19.439
in time could exist simultaneously like the pages

01:25:19.439 --> 01:25:22.460
of a book. And you can flip through and go to

01:25:22.460 --> 01:25:26.600
any page you want. Wow. So it's pop. There's

01:25:26.600 --> 01:25:28.880
a lot of actual scientific evidence for this.

01:25:28.920 --> 01:25:33.159
It would explain a lot of things. So it's possible

01:25:33.159 --> 01:25:37.159
that Ozzy was allowed to skip ahead a few pages

01:25:37.159 --> 01:25:40.960
in the book past his death to see the lines of

01:25:40.960 --> 01:25:44.560
people who were coming to pay tribute and honor

01:25:44.560 --> 01:25:47.899
him. And the way he experienced that was as a

01:25:47.899 --> 01:25:52.279
dream. And it's also possible that as people

01:25:52.279 --> 01:25:56.050
are approaching death, the energy... that is

01:25:56.050 --> 01:25:58.310
the person who they are becomes less attached

01:25:58.310 --> 01:26:01.350
to the physical body, and you can go skipping

01:26:01.350 --> 01:26:04.670
backwards and forwards through some pages. Wow.

01:26:04.770 --> 01:26:07.729
And maybe visit something a few pages in the

01:26:07.729 --> 01:26:10.510
future, or maybe some a few pages in the past.

01:26:11.909 --> 01:26:14.670
It's a theory that's been floated out there,

01:26:14.710 --> 01:26:16.529
and it seems to make a lot of sense to me. It

01:26:16.529 --> 01:26:20.550
would explain the life flashing before your eyes.

01:26:20.630 --> 01:26:23.689
Yes. You know you're dying, which actually...

01:26:24.220 --> 01:26:27.779
Brain waves have been recorded as people were

01:26:27.779 --> 01:26:31.060
dying. People volunteered to die inside a functional

01:26:31.060 --> 01:26:36.600
MRI. And they record brain waves that look just

01:26:36.600 --> 01:26:38.920
like somebody having lots and lots of memories.

01:26:39.279 --> 01:26:43.060
Wow. So your life flashing before your eyes is

01:26:43.060 --> 01:26:47.060
probably a real thing. I have read some stories

01:26:47.060 --> 01:26:51.699
about that. I'm getting to be a believer in it.

01:26:52.720 --> 01:26:55.739
And I would also like to mention this. All of

01:26:55.739 --> 01:27:00.560
this does coincide with God. You know, so people,

01:27:00.659 --> 01:27:03.819
I'm a Christian and I believe all these beliefs

01:27:03.819 --> 01:27:08.359
could be true. What we understand is probably

01:27:08.359 --> 01:27:11.939
not what is real, what is actually going on.

01:27:12.039 --> 01:27:15.020
I don't think our minds are capable of understanding

01:27:15.020 --> 01:27:19.939
what God is and how God has to treat us because

01:27:19.939 --> 01:27:23.880
we are basically. like little amoebas that don't

01:27:23.880 --> 01:27:26.600
understand anything that's going on on that level,

01:27:26.720 --> 01:27:30.199
in my opinion. Yeah, yeah. It's like an ant looking

01:27:30.199 --> 01:27:34.579
at an elephant. Yeah, yeah. There is a scripture

01:27:34.579 --> 01:27:39.659
that states that we are not to know the truth.

01:27:41.859 --> 01:27:46.420
Yeah, that's true. We can't have our minds are

01:27:46.420 --> 01:27:53.329
not built to handle. It's right there in Scripture.

01:27:54.069 --> 01:27:56.149
You're not going to be able to teach differential

01:27:56.149 --> 01:27:58.729
calculus to a pigeon. It's a thing of the world.

01:27:59.210 --> 01:28:02.970
There's no way a human brain can understand what

01:28:02.970 --> 01:28:05.270
God's thinking and what God might be planning.

01:28:05.529 --> 01:28:07.909
No, we can't. There's no way we can conceive

01:28:07.909 --> 01:28:12.989
of it. How could our fathoms calculate how he

01:28:12.989 --> 01:28:19.270
made everything? You know? There's no way. Yeah,

01:28:19.270 --> 01:28:25.649
that's true. Yeah, so, I mean, and also, bear

01:28:25.649 --> 01:28:27.829
with me here. This is a little different, but

01:28:27.829 --> 01:28:30.390
along the same lines. I revisited Revelation

01:28:30.390 --> 01:28:35.310
and the beast, the Antichrist, that has a head

01:28:35.310 --> 01:28:39.670
wound. Okay? And automatically, when Trump got

01:28:39.670 --> 01:28:42.590
shot and got into presidency, that's the first

01:28:42.590 --> 01:28:44.770
thing I thought. I was like, wait a minute. Wait

01:28:44.770 --> 01:28:50.239
a minute. Okay. I reread it. And what I understand

01:28:50.239 --> 01:28:54.239
is true, King James 16 version of the Bible is

01:28:54.239 --> 01:28:59.159
he lives through a mortal head wound. So that

01:28:59.159 --> 01:29:03.819
would not be Trump. It got his ear. It did not

01:29:03.819 --> 01:29:08.779
get his head. Yeah. Right. So I don't believe

01:29:08.779 --> 01:29:11.560
this. I think this is a trick that is probably

01:29:11.560 --> 01:29:15.600
perpetrated by that bastard down below, Satan.

01:29:22.470 --> 01:29:24.810
Effective propaganda, so that's what it was used

01:29:24.810 --> 01:29:29.189
for. Oh, yeah, yep, yep. But, you know, as long

01:29:29.189 --> 01:29:31.630
as we're talking about paranormal stuff, have

01:29:31.630 --> 01:29:34.689
you noticed how most stories, it's like I heard

01:29:34.689 --> 01:29:39.069
of this or someone told me about, you know, it's

01:29:39.069 --> 01:29:42.029
never somebody who says I saw it firsthand. Yeah.

01:29:42.189 --> 01:29:45.090
Well, I can tell you about something that I saw

01:29:45.090 --> 01:29:49.489
firsthand that I cannot explain. Okay. I'll let

01:29:49.489 --> 01:29:51.649
you guys know and see if you can explain it to

01:29:51.649 --> 01:29:57.329
me. This was 1973. I was like 12 years old, and

01:29:57.329 --> 01:29:59.750
I went down to Florida for the summer to stay

01:29:59.750 --> 01:30:02.949
with my grandparents. And they lived like halfway

01:30:02.949 --> 01:30:07.409
up the Atlantic coast of Florida. Then one day,

01:30:07.449 --> 01:30:11.210
my Uncle Mike and Aunt Donna and their three

01:30:11.210 --> 01:30:13.590
kids were going to drive up from Fort Lauderdale,

01:30:13.590 --> 01:30:16.090
which is just north of Miami. They were going

01:30:16.090 --> 01:30:17.770
to drive up for the day. We were going to have

01:30:17.770 --> 01:30:19.630
a big picnic, and then we were going to go to

01:30:19.630 --> 01:30:21.289
the beach and do stuff, and then they were going

01:30:21.289 --> 01:30:22.930
to stay the night and drive back the next day.

01:30:24.189 --> 01:30:27.029
So we waited around. My grandmother and I waited

01:30:27.029 --> 01:30:29.149
around for them to show up, and they were supposed

01:30:29.149 --> 01:30:32.250
to be there at 10 .30. 11 .30, and they still

01:30:32.250 --> 01:30:34.189
weren't there. Noon, they still weren't there.

01:30:34.289 --> 01:30:36.550
So my grandmother said, all right, let's go to

01:30:36.550 --> 01:30:39.029
the store and get some things. Got in the car.

01:30:39.130 --> 01:30:41.430
She started the engine, and then she sat there

01:30:41.430 --> 01:30:43.310
and stared out the windshield, and she said,

01:30:44.349 --> 01:30:47.909
we're going to pass Donna and the kids in the

01:30:47.909 --> 01:30:51.109
car. They're going to be turning right as we're

01:30:51.109 --> 01:30:54.989
turning left on the main highway. She didn't

01:30:54.989 --> 01:30:56.729
say Uncle Mike and Aunt Donna and the kids. She

01:30:56.729 --> 01:30:59.010
said Donna and the kids. And she knew exactly

01:30:59.010 --> 01:31:01.689
where we were going to pass them. And then she

01:31:01.689 --> 01:31:03.850
put the car in gear, and we drove up the road,

01:31:03.909 --> 01:31:05.789
and a mile and a half later, as we turned left

01:31:05.789 --> 01:31:08.090
onto the main highway, there went Donna and the

01:31:08.090 --> 01:31:11.449
kids turning right, exactly as she predicted.

01:31:12.109 --> 01:31:16.560
Wow. that Uncle Mike wasn't going to be with

01:31:16.560 --> 01:31:18.899
him. When we got back from the store, she asked

01:31:18.899 --> 01:31:21.460
Donna, you know, how come Mike isn't here? And

01:31:21.460 --> 01:31:23.260
she said, well, he had to work last minute. He

01:31:23.260 --> 01:31:26.000
was an air traffic controller. So when they called

01:31:26.000 --> 01:31:28.739
him to work, he had to go. So he tried to get

01:31:28.739 --> 01:31:30.479
someone to cover for him, but he couldn't. So

01:31:30.479 --> 01:31:32.920
finally he said, you know, you guys go, I'll

01:31:32.920 --> 01:31:35.880
just stay here. But somehow sitting in the driveway,

01:31:36.060 --> 01:31:39.260
my grandmother knew exactly where we had passed

01:31:39.260 --> 01:31:41.239
the car and that Uncle Mike wasn't with them.

01:31:41.520 --> 01:31:43.760
And I saw it unfold right before my eyes, and

01:31:43.760 --> 01:31:46.920
I can't figure out any possible explanation of

01:31:46.920 --> 01:31:49.180
how she could have known that. There were no

01:31:49.180 --> 01:31:54.279
cell phones back then. Wow. I believe that there

01:31:54.279 --> 01:31:56.319
are people that have powers like that, because

01:31:56.319 --> 01:32:02.340
I've known a few. Yeah. Granny was kind of spooky

01:32:02.340 --> 01:32:07.819
sometimes. I would have to talk that up as mother's

01:32:07.819 --> 01:32:12.640
intuition. could be that could be could be well

01:32:12.640 --> 01:32:16.859
i have a lot of i have a lot of unexplained stuff

01:32:16.859 --> 01:32:20.399
and i mean from staying at the crescent and that

01:32:20.399 --> 01:32:22.720
image coming up on her bed when there was nothing

01:32:22.720 --> 01:32:25.720
there of an old lady a shadow of an old lady

01:32:25.720 --> 01:32:28.560
that was obviously looked deceased lying on the

01:32:28.560 --> 01:32:32.199
bed when i took a picture from the balcony into

01:32:32.199 --> 01:32:34.260
the room to show friends what the room looked

01:32:34.260 --> 01:32:36.600
like because they upgraded us this is during

01:32:36.600 --> 01:32:39.199
covid and the basin park is where we're supposed

01:32:39.199 --> 01:32:42.279
to stay But they had a big COVID outbreak, so

01:32:42.279 --> 01:32:44.819
they sent everybody up to the Crescent and upgraded

01:32:44.819 --> 01:32:48.000
up everybody to suites. And I was going to show

01:32:48.000 --> 01:32:50.460
everybody from the balcony how cool it was, the

01:32:50.460 --> 01:32:53.579
room. And then I saw that, and I'm like, wait

01:32:53.579 --> 01:32:55.979
a minute, there's nothing on the bed. And then

01:32:55.979 --> 01:33:00.899
there was also some shadowy figures on the wall

01:33:00.899 --> 01:33:04.640
of obvious faces. I went up there and touched

01:33:04.640 --> 01:33:07.359
them because I saw them all before we left. Nothing

01:33:07.359 --> 01:33:11.039
is there. And that was weird. And then another

01:33:11.039 --> 01:33:13.579
time at the Crescent, and this was last year.

01:33:13.699 --> 01:33:17.439
The other one was a few years ago during, I think

01:33:17.439 --> 01:33:20.000
it's 2021 when COVID was kind of going back and

01:33:20.000 --> 01:33:24.300
forth. So this one was last year. And we were

01:33:24.300 --> 01:33:27.939
inside the Crescent. We're sitting on the big

01:33:27.939 --> 01:33:32.680
couch there near the huge fireplace. And Val

01:33:32.680 --> 01:33:37.050
and I were talking about this really heavy. probably

01:33:37.050 --> 01:33:40.829
from the 1800s, made out of hardwood, handcrafted

01:33:40.829 --> 01:33:45.529
coffee table. And I'm sitting there, Val, it's

01:33:45.529 --> 01:33:47.489
like, man, look at that coffee table I tried

01:33:47.489 --> 01:33:49.729
to lift. I go, man, look how heavy it is. I go,

01:33:49.750 --> 01:33:52.090
I bet that was made in the 1800s, handcrafted.

01:33:52.130 --> 01:33:54.850
We're both marveling over it. And then a ghost

01:33:54.850 --> 01:33:58.989
came by, and I look back down, and there's this

01:33:58.989 --> 01:34:04.409
huge leather -bound book on the table. And I

01:34:04.409 --> 01:34:07.289
go, what the hell? I go, Val, I go, look. I go,

01:34:07.329 --> 01:34:09.350
we were just talking about this table here, right?

01:34:09.729 --> 01:34:11.710
There's nothing on it, right? No, nothing was

01:34:11.710 --> 01:34:14.210
on it. I said, you know, I tapped on it. I lifted

01:34:14.210 --> 01:34:16.550
it up. There's nothing on it. Where did that

01:34:16.550 --> 01:34:18.310
leather -bound book come from? And it was huge.

01:34:18.649 --> 01:34:21.529
She's like, I don't know. We opened it up, and

01:34:21.529 --> 01:34:24.670
it was a book of all the ghost apparitions and

01:34:24.670 --> 01:34:28.130
sightings of all time that they have recorded

01:34:28.130 --> 01:34:33.170
by photograph in that book. That's creepy. It

01:34:33.170 --> 01:34:36.329
is. and the Crescent likes to play jokes on me,

01:34:36.409 --> 01:34:39.970
and I had a clairvoyant lady tell me, she said,

01:34:40.050 --> 01:34:42.670
when you leave the Crescent, tell the spirits

01:34:42.670 --> 01:34:47.229
to stay there and not come with you. Ah. Yeah,

01:34:47.329 --> 01:34:50.449
and then I have a bunch of, you know what, this

01:34:50.449 --> 01:34:54.489
would take a full episode, but after my grandmother

01:34:54.489 --> 01:34:56.649
died, we moved into her house in northeast Kansas

01:34:56.649 --> 01:34:58.590
City, and we sold the house that we lived in,

01:34:58.630 --> 01:35:01.670
and when we went there, You could hear the toilet

01:35:01.670 --> 01:35:03.770
flushing upstairs. You could hear her moaning.

01:35:03.890 --> 01:35:07.229
This is after her death. Stuff being thrown down

01:35:07.229 --> 01:35:09.350
the, like marbles and stuff being thrown down

01:35:09.350 --> 01:35:12.930
the stairs. It was insane. Up from her room and

01:35:12.930 --> 01:35:15.890
in the upstairs bathroom. And that happened plain

01:35:15.890 --> 01:35:18.029
as day. And everyone in the family heard it.

01:35:18.069 --> 01:35:20.130
It wasn't just me being a little five -year -old

01:35:20.130 --> 01:35:23.810
kid going, making stuff up. This stuff happened.

01:35:24.130 --> 01:35:27.289
So you guys fill in whatever you want. So I know

01:35:27.289 --> 01:35:30.760
there's something weird going on. by a preponderance

01:35:30.760 --> 01:35:34.979
of evidence. What that is, I don't know. So let's

01:35:34.979 --> 01:35:36.220
take our second break, and we're going to come

01:35:36.220 --> 01:35:38.300
back with some of your guys' stories. Does that

01:35:38.300 --> 01:35:42.340
sound good? Sounds good. Yeah, and I'll have

01:35:42.340 --> 01:35:44.420
a call tonight. Okay, you got it. All right.

01:35:44.680 --> 01:35:47.420
I do work tomorrow. I know, I know. We're running

01:35:47.420 --> 01:35:51.380
so late. I apologize. We're having a good time.

01:35:51.579 --> 01:35:54.220
We are. We're having a good time. Good show.

01:35:54.380 --> 01:36:06.170
All right, we'll be right back. Since the dawn

01:36:06.170 --> 01:36:09.149
of time, weird shit has happened. Strange occurrences,

01:36:09.329 --> 01:36:12.470
unexplained phobias, and other odd happenings.

01:36:12.550 --> 01:36:14.590
Over the next minute, we would like to bring

01:36:14.590 --> 01:36:18.829
you odd, rare phobias and conditions. Kepler's

01:36:18.829 --> 01:36:21.550
syndrome, or the delusion of doubles, is a rare

01:36:21.550 --> 01:36:24.229
condition where a person falsely believes a familiar

01:36:24.229 --> 01:36:27.810
individual, like a spouse or family member, has

01:36:27.810 --> 01:36:30.430
been replaced by an identical -looking imposter

01:36:30.430 --> 01:36:34.420
or duplicate. It's a type of delusional misidentification

01:36:34.420 --> 01:36:37.220
syndrome often linked to underlying brain issues

01:36:37.220 --> 01:36:40.039
or psychiatric conditions, including schizophrenia,

01:36:40.460 --> 01:36:44.880
dementia, with Lewy body, brain injury, or bipolar

01:36:44.880 --> 01:36:47.579
disorder, resulting from a disconnect between

01:36:47.579 --> 01:36:51.039
face recognition and emotional processing. Treatment

01:36:51.039 --> 01:36:54.220
focuses on managing the underlying disorder with

01:36:54.220 --> 01:36:57.140
different forms of therapy and addressing associated

01:36:57.140 --> 01:37:01.550
symptoms like anxiety. Great news, assholes.

01:37:02.029 --> 01:37:05.510
You can now email the douches anytime, anywhere.

01:37:06.449 --> 01:37:09.390
In the middle of a job interview. No big deal.

01:37:09.770 --> 01:37:13.350
Taking a bath? No problems there. Tap dancing.

01:37:13.729 --> 01:37:17.390
Easy as pie. Just send it to 2douches at mail

01:37:17.390 --> 01:37:20.550
.com. Do it now, pussies, or I'll smash you in

01:37:20.550 --> 01:37:25.989
the junk. This is Joshua Belmont, your food for

01:37:25.989 --> 01:37:28.720
thought man on The Hustle. So I just realized

01:37:28.720 --> 01:37:31.500
a genius that gets absolutely no credit. His

01:37:31.500 --> 01:37:34.039
name is Marshall Taylor. He is credited with

01:37:34.039 --> 01:37:36.100
the first bag of salad mix that was bagged and

01:37:36.100 --> 01:37:40.579
sold. Yesterday was his birthday. I believe he

01:37:40.579 --> 01:37:43.180
is still alive. This guy's genius will never

01:37:43.180 --> 01:37:46.479
be fully appreciated. Before this man, we settled

01:37:46.479 --> 01:37:48.920
for iceberg lettuce with maybe a couple of croutons

01:37:48.920 --> 01:37:51.880
and some cheese. Was Mr. Taylor satisfied with

01:37:51.880 --> 01:37:55.279
that? Hell no. He realized that Billy Americana

01:37:55.279 --> 01:37:57.260
would never go out and buy a couple of radishes,

01:37:57.439 --> 01:37:59.699
a couple of carrots, a head of purple cabbage,

01:37:59.859 --> 01:38:02.520
maybe snow peas, and possibly some cute romaine

01:38:02.520 --> 01:38:06.399
bladders for extra bougie. Mr. Taylor, you should

01:38:06.399 --> 01:38:10.340
have a national holiday. Now, from his underground

01:38:10.340 --> 01:38:13.140
bunker in Hampton, Missouri, stocked full of

01:38:13.140 --> 01:38:15.859
dried goods, canned food, and a couple of vibrating

01:38:15.859 --> 01:38:20.140
toys, is Ramblings of a Madman featuring Rob

01:38:20.140 --> 01:38:24.289
Rad. Batman would look ridiculous solving crime

01:38:24.289 --> 01:38:30.369
on a sunny day. Hey there. We all have those

01:38:30.369 --> 01:38:33.989
annoying co -workers that do nothing. There's

01:38:33.989 --> 01:38:36.270
nothing we can do about it because HR departments

01:38:36.270 --> 01:38:39.390
are running scared of lawyers. So we have to

01:38:39.390 --> 01:38:41.149
work with these worthless pieces of garbage.

01:38:41.689 --> 01:38:44.630
But we have to communicate about them without

01:38:44.630 --> 01:38:47.390
them knowing about it. Here at Two Douchebags

01:38:47.390 --> 01:38:49.489
Microphone, we developed a way that you can speak

01:38:49.489 --> 01:38:51.689
about them right in front of them. without them

01:38:51.689 --> 01:38:55.510
knowing about it. Stay tuned. Cordless only works

01:38:55.510 --> 01:39:01.529
40 minutes. ET always wants to go home. Kit Kat

01:39:01.529 --> 01:39:05.510
always taking a break. Muffler always exhausted.

01:39:05.810 --> 01:39:11.229
Seaweed floats around all day. Sensor light only

01:39:11.229 --> 01:39:16.390
works when someone walks by. Wheelbarrow only

01:39:16.390 --> 01:39:19.979
works when pushed. Yes, it's true. Mark is an

01:39:19.979 --> 01:39:23.079
old bastard. It's also true that Mark uses a

01:39:23.079 --> 01:39:26.119
lot of ibuprofen. But Mark would like to tell

01:39:26.119 --> 01:39:29.939
you, if you see any pictures of improved ibuprofen,

01:39:30.020 --> 01:39:33.500
it's obviously fake, and you're to take the pictures

01:39:33.500 --> 01:39:38.060
and tear them up immediately. Hey, if you're

01:39:38.060 --> 01:39:39.899
a fan of paying way too much for trinkets and

01:39:39.899 --> 01:39:42.979
food, well, your wish is coming true. Han City

01:39:42.979 --> 01:39:45.659
International Airport Guest Pass Program is starting

01:39:45.659 --> 01:39:49.079
today. Yes, you too could overspend on workless

01:39:49.079 --> 01:39:52.539
trinkets and $15 cups of coffee. Want to buy

01:39:52.539 --> 01:39:55.560
a $50 cheap t -shirt that has KC Western Auto

01:39:55.560 --> 01:39:58.779
Building image on it? We got you covered. Want

01:39:58.779 --> 01:40:01.340
a barbecue sauce gift pack? No problem. Just

01:40:01.340 --> 01:40:04.579
a mere $40 on your firstborn. Hurry, you know

01:40:04.579 --> 01:40:07.119
rubes are jumping all over to get to this complete

01:40:07.119 --> 01:40:11.539
ripoff. Because people are sheep. Hey there,

01:40:11.640 --> 01:40:15.039
this is Buford Rasputin, the common sense concierge.

01:40:15.710 --> 01:40:18.210
You ever wake up in the bed of a 1978 Ford F

01:40:18.210 --> 01:40:21.069
-150 with rusted out wheel wells? Well, so have

01:40:21.069 --> 01:40:23.550
I. While there's nothing I can do about all those

01:40:23.550 --> 01:40:25.109
nice little apology cards you're going to be

01:40:25.109 --> 01:40:27.770
handing out and all that head pounding, the one

01:40:27.770 --> 01:40:29.670
thing I can do is give you a list of dive bar

01:40:29.670 --> 01:40:31.710
do's and don'ts. Stay tuned, little partner.

01:40:34.289 --> 01:40:36.670
Hey, if you're a fan of paying way too much for

01:40:36.670 --> 01:40:38.949
trinkets and food, well, your wish is coming

01:40:38.949 --> 01:40:41.689
true. Kansas City International Airport Guest

01:40:41.689 --> 01:40:45.060
Pass Program is starting today. Yes, you too

01:40:45.060 --> 01:40:47.720
could overspend on workless trinkets and $15

01:40:47.720 --> 01:40:51.199
cups of coffee. Want to buy a $50 cheap t -shirt

01:40:51.199 --> 01:40:53.880
that has KC Western Auto Building image on it?

01:40:54.079 --> 01:40:57.020
We got you covered. Want a barbecue sauce gift

01:40:57.020 --> 01:41:00.319
pack? No problem. Just a mere $40 on your firstborn.

01:41:00.640 --> 01:41:03.460
Hurry. You know rubes are jumping all over to

01:41:03.460 --> 01:41:06.899
get to this complete ripoff. Because people are

01:41:06.899 --> 01:41:19.619
sheep. Bucky's Cheap Studio is the extreme southern

01:41:19.619 --> 01:41:26.680
tip of the Kansas City Metroplex. And I am Rob

01:41:26.680 --> 01:41:29.520
in Wheatland, Missouri, home of the magnificent

01:41:29.520 --> 01:41:32.220
Lucas Oil Speedway and Water Track, and also

01:41:32.220 --> 01:41:34.840
the home of Hickam Oak Factory Store, where you

01:41:34.840 --> 01:41:39.199
can find all your needs, including sushi, and

01:41:39.199 --> 01:41:42.380
a selfie with the big green -haired Sinclair

01:41:42.380 --> 01:42:13.729
dinosaur. Who do you have? I hear a lot of people

01:42:13.729 --> 01:42:18.949
doing that. that I just really don't give a crap

01:42:18.949 --> 01:42:24.829
about. Same here. Do they have local channels?

01:42:26.069 --> 01:42:29.930
Yep, it'll be all the local channels plus a lot

01:42:29.930 --> 01:42:35.729
of the stuff that we're getting now. Okay. I

01:42:35.729 --> 01:42:39.710
wish it would include YouTube Premium so I didn't

01:42:39.710 --> 01:42:41.869
have to see the ads anymore, but unfortunately,

01:42:41.989 --> 01:42:45.930
no. It does not. God damn it. Yeah. Alright.

01:42:46.079 --> 01:42:48.300
All right, okay, who wants to go into their story?

01:42:51.199 --> 01:42:55.819
I'll throw in one. Okay. Okay, go ahead. All

01:42:55.819 --> 01:42:58.619
right, I'll go. I have a story about Southwest

01:42:58.619 --> 01:43:01.920
Airlines. They are trying to rebrand themselves,

01:43:02.039 --> 01:43:06.479
but they're actually taking quite a bit larger

01:43:06.479 --> 01:43:11.560
risk than people are aware of. They went from

01:43:11.560 --> 01:43:15.159
you buy a ticket and you get to sit wherever,

01:43:22.380 --> 01:43:24.939
different types of seating instead of just all

01:43:24.939 --> 01:43:28.979
the same. Ooh, suicide. Yeah, the story goes,

01:43:29.100 --> 01:43:32.039
Southwest Airlines is embarking on a bold transformation,

01:43:32.399 --> 01:43:36.119
shifting its focus from maximizing passenger

01:43:36.119 --> 01:43:42.479
volume to prioritizing premium pricing. Isn't

01:43:42.479 --> 01:43:44.300
that what Harley -Davidson did? They tried to

01:43:44.300 --> 01:43:46.739
go for the premium price of everything. Yeah,

01:43:46.739 --> 01:43:49.300
this doesn't work. Anyway, this strategic pivot...

01:43:49.789 --> 01:43:52.090
relies heavily on the strength of its brand,

01:43:52.310 --> 01:43:54.529
marking the most significant change to the company's

01:43:54.529 --> 01:43:58.850
history. Over 800 planes will be retrofitted,

01:43:59.090 --> 01:44:01.949
ending the tradition of open seating and introducing

01:44:01.949 --> 01:44:05.590
options with extra legroom. The aim is to increase

01:44:05.590 --> 01:44:10.050
revenue per seat. That's business for you. The

01:44:10.050 --> 01:44:12.930
expectation is that customers will pay more for

01:44:12.930 --> 01:44:15.770
assigned seating and enhanced comfort, reversing

01:44:15.770 --> 01:44:18.369
a decision made in 2012 to add extra seats for

01:44:18.369 --> 01:44:21.239
greater capacity. Now, Southwest is reducing

01:44:21.239 --> 01:44:23.699
seat counts, wagering that its loyal customer

01:44:23.699 --> 01:44:26.579
base will accept higher fares. It's important

01:44:26.579 --> 01:44:29.439
to point out that, yes, customers will pay more

01:44:29.439 --> 01:44:31.859
for assigned seating and enhanced comfort, but

01:44:31.859 --> 01:44:34.460
those extra legroom seats, there's only a few

01:44:34.460 --> 01:44:38.380
of them. So you won't have the option to get

01:44:38.380 --> 01:44:42.680
that. Anyway, most pressing issue is Southwest's

01:44:42.680 --> 01:44:45.939
exposure to fuel price volatility. After ending

01:44:45.939 --> 01:44:49.659
its fuel hedging program early in 2025, the airline

01:44:49.659 --> 01:44:52.600
is now vulnerable to market swings, especially

01:44:52.600 --> 01:44:56.140
as jet fuel costs have jumped by about 100 %

01:44:56.140 --> 01:44:59.319
in the past month, jeopardizing the company's

01:44:59.319 --> 01:45:04.359
2026 earnings per share target because it was

01:45:04.359 --> 01:45:15.130
based on a $2 .40 per gallon assumption. this

01:45:15.130 --> 01:45:17.329
number of gallons throughout, like, the next

01:45:17.329 --> 01:45:20.329
six months, and we'll set the price right now.

01:45:20.449 --> 01:45:23.289
And if the price goes up, we aren't going to

01:45:23.289 --> 01:45:25.390
pay more. And if the price goes down, we won't

01:45:25.390 --> 01:45:29.590
pay less. But now they have to buy their gas,

01:45:29.710 --> 01:45:33.989
their aviation fuel, at whatever the daily price

01:45:33.989 --> 01:45:40.390
is. So there's a risk. The story continues. Meanwhile,

01:45:40.489 --> 01:45:43.210
the risk of customer dissatisfaction is growing.

01:45:43.579 --> 01:45:45.779
The introduction of assigned seating and new

01:45:45.779 --> 01:45:49.079
fees, central to the revenue strategy, has sparked

01:45:49.079 --> 01:45:52.560
mixed reactions in public forums. With consumer

01:45:52.560 --> 01:45:55.399
confidence weakening, as indicated by the University

01:45:55.399 --> 01:45:58.279
of Michigan index falling below recessionary

01:45:58.279 --> 01:46:01.500
thresholds, passengers may be less inclined to

01:46:01.500 --> 01:46:03.779
pay for premium options or accept additional

01:46:03.779 --> 01:46:07.300
charges. This threatens the pricing power Southwest

01:46:07.300 --> 01:46:10.899
hopes to leverage. Investor sentiment is now

01:46:10.899 --> 01:46:13.460
reflecting these concerns. The stock has dropped

01:46:13.460 --> 01:46:17.739
22 % in the last month, and social media discussions

01:46:17.739 --> 01:46:20.640
have turned negative with sentiment scores dipping.

01:46:22.640 --> 01:46:25.579
Analysts are forecasting an increase in earnings

01:46:25.579 --> 01:46:30.300
for shareholders to increase by 350 % or more.

01:46:30.520 --> 01:46:35.560
But this forecast is based on perfect performance

01:46:35.560 --> 01:46:40.039
of the business plan. acceptance by the public

01:46:40.039 --> 01:46:44.479
and falling fuel prices. There is no room for

01:46:44.479 --> 01:46:47.420
error. Either it is going to succeed spectacularly

01:46:47.420 --> 01:46:50.300
or it will fail completely, leaving earnings

01:46:50.300 --> 01:46:53.279
and stock prices unchanged, which in today's

01:46:53.279 --> 01:46:55.840
business culture is the same as taking a loss

01:46:55.840 --> 01:47:00.859
of 350%. Yes. Okay. I'll tell you what. Southwest

01:47:00.859 --> 01:47:03.880
does not particularly have a good name anyhow.

01:47:04.689 --> 01:47:08.130
Anything else they do that's negative is not

01:47:08.130 --> 01:47:10.869
going to help their cause at all. And it's really

01:47:10.869 --> 01:47:12.729
going to hurt them because they're already on

01:47:12.729 --> 01:47:18.369
notice by most customers. Yeah. Yeah, it seems

01:47:18.369 --> 01:47:20.630
odd to me that they were talking about they're

01:47:20.630 --> 01:47:23.329
relying heavily on their good brand name and

01:47:23.329 --> 01:47:26.729
their reputation when that has been weakened

01:47:26.729 --> 01:47:29.250
in the last year. I mean, I've been hearing bad

01:47:29.250 --> 01:47:32.479
stories about... Southwest for a while, so I

01:47:32.479 --> 01:47:34.920
guess upper management is really out of touch

01:47:34.920 --> 01:47:37.359
and doesn't realize that people kind of don't

01:47:37.359 --> 01:47:40.960
care about Southwest anymore. I'm sick of them.

01:47:41.760 --> 01:47:47.560
Ever since they canceled me, I was at work, and

01:47:47.560 --> 01:47:51.000
I realized we were leaving the next morning on

01:47:51.000 --> 01:47:54.260
vacation. I think we're going on a cruise out

01:47:54.260 --> 01:47:59.680
of Florida. so i had to go wedding that night

01:47:59.680 --> 01:48:01.859
and the wedding was going to last till like 11

01:48:01.859 --> 01:48:03.840
or midnight right and it's down at boulevard

01:48:03.840 --> 01:48:05.979
brewery so i had to leave work because i work

01:48:05.979 --> 01:48:08.039
over there in midtown i had to leave work and

01:48:08.039 --> 01:48:10.060
go straight there and i got there right after

01:48:10.060 --> 01:48:12.539
the ceremony which sucked but i got to say hi

01:48:12.539 --> 01:48:14.800
to everybody and all that and it was cool um

01:48:14.800 --> 01:48:19.840
and uh and val was already there so um at work

01:48:19.840 --> 01:48:22.220
i had to do something i was like you know what

01:48:22.569 --> 01:48:24.369
I'm not going to have time to check in or nothing.

01:48:24.550 --> 01:48:26.930
So I'm going to go ahead and I'm going to buy,

01:48:27.090 --> 01:48:30.409
what was it, where they bump you and they put

01:48:30.409 --> 01:48:32.909
you up in the A class. You know, you spend a

01:48:32.909 --> 01:48:34.710
little bit. You give them like, I don't know,

01:48:34.810 --> 01:48:38.829
some extra money. Yeah, yeah. And they bump you

01:48:38.829 --> 01:48:42.170
up into the boarding A so you can get a good

01:48:42.170 --> 01:48:45.470
seat. And this is also because we're going to

01:48:45.470 --> 01:48:47.229
have to leave a little bit later than we thought

01:48:47.229 --> 01:48:50.529
because, you know, we're getting home late. So

01:48:50.529 --> 01:48:53.880
when I did that, The credit card was declined,

01:48:54.039 --> 01:49:00.000
and it was something like it had the wrong three

01:49:00.000 --> 01:49:02.800
numbers in it, you know, the code. So instead

01:49:02.800 --> 01:49:05.760
of calling me back and going, hey, this card

01:49:05.760 --> 01:49:08.079
was declined. Could you straighten this out?

01:49:08.199 --> 01:49:12.460
They canceled all of my flights. They canceled

01:49:12.460 --> 01:49:16.159
it. Oh, man. Yeah. Even though you'd already

01:49:16.159 --> 01:49:18.979
paid for those. Yes. They canceled them. Oh,

01:49:19.079 --> 01:49:21.439
I was so furious. And I'm like, wow. I go, that's

01:49:21.439 --> 01:49:23.579
weird. I didn't get the early bird is what they

01:49:23.579 --> 01:49:26.260
call it. I go, I didn't get the early bird email.

01:49:27.619 --> 01:49:29.460
That's weird. And they didn't send me anything

01:49:29.460 --> 01:49:31.899
to check in on. Usually they say, hey, it's time

01:49:31.899 --> 01:49:34.239
to check in. They didn't send me any of that.

01:49:34.279 --> 01:49:36.960
I'm like, you know what? I better call. I call

01:49:36.960 --> 01:49:39.720
and the first lady was really rude. She goes,

01:49:39.779 --> 01:49:41.739
I don't see anything here. You didn't make them.

01:49:41.840 --> 01:49:44.899
I go, yes, I did. And then the next lady unraveled

01:49:44.899 --> 01:49:47.600
it. She goes, oh, here's what happened. We canceled

01:49:47.600 --> 01:49:50.539
your reservations. And I said, what? Why in the

01:49:50.539 --> 01:49:52.699
hell would you do that? And then she said, oh,

01:49:52.720 --> 01:49:54.979
your card was declined. I said, well, you know

01:49:54.979 --> 01:49:57.140
what? I said, you guys have my number. Why the

01:49:57.140 --> 01:50:00.960
hell didn't you call me? Oh, I don't know. I

01:50:00.960 --> 01:50:05.039
guess it's our policy. I go, what? And ever since

01:50:05.039 --> 01:50:09.800
then, I hate them. I despise them. So if they

01:50:09.800 --> 01:50:12.399
go under, I don't necessarily get one ounce of

01:50:12.399 --> 01:50:18.600
shit. Really? I imagine their attitude was that

01:50:18.600 --> 01:50:21.100
for you, they were going to have to go to some

01:50:21.100 --> 01:50:23.899
extra work. Yes. They had a whole bunch of people

01:50:23.899 --> 01:50:26.119
that were willing to spend just as much for that

01:50:26.119 --> 01:50:28.859
seat that they didn't have to lift a finger for.

01:50:29.039 --> 01:50:31.819
So they just kicked you off and moved on to the

01:50:31.819 --> 01:50:33.600
next person who wasn't going to require anything

01:50:33.600 --> 01:50:35.979
of them. Because their money was just as good

01:50:35.979 --> 01:50:37.939
as your money. And they don't give a damn about

01:50:37.939 --> 01:50:41.920
loyalty. They earned that name South worst. For

01:50:41.920 --> 01:50:45.699
a reason. Yeah, and I can still... Oh, go ahead.

01:50:46.819 --> 01:50:50.920
I can foresee somebody saving them a seat in

01:50:50.920 --> 01:50:55.739
bankruptcy court. Yeah, that won't hurt my feelings

01:50:55.739 --> 01:50:59.380
either. Yeah, Southwest, as far as I'm concerned,

01:50:59.479 --> 01:51:02.840
fuck them. They're shooting themselves in the

01:51:02.840 --> 01:51:05.890
foot. They've been a shit company their whole

01:51:05.890 --> 01:51:08.609
existence, and I don't ever see them getting

01:51:08.609 --> 01:51:12.229
out of it, in my opinion. It's weird how this

01:51:12.229 --> 01:51:15.109
is happening over and over. Jaguar, Harley -Davidson,

01:51:15.270 --> 01:51:17.369
Southwest Airlines, they're all just destroying

01:51:17.369 --> 01:51:20.449
their own McDonald's. They're destroying themselves

01:51:20.449 --> 01:51:24.529
in public. Subway already did it with Jarrett,

01:51:24.590 --> 01:51:27.310
but now they have this big thing about the halal

01:51:27.310 --> 01:51:34.119
meats. And I guess... They're like, they do something

01:51:34.119 --> 01:51:37.859
to the animals so Muslims can eat them, I guess.

01:51:39.739 --> 01:51:45.060
Weird. Yeah, so Subway is also into that practice,

01:51:45.119 --> 01:51:47.079
too, of shooting themselves in the foot, in my

01:51:47.079 --> 01:51:51.220
opinion. So, yeah, anyhow, you know what? I don't

01:51:51.220 --> 01:51:53.140
give a shit about any of these companies because

01:51:53.140 --> 01:51:56.699
they never gave a shit about me. So there. It

01:51:56.699 --> 01:52:01.250
seems really odd that Muslims would... just take

01:52:01.250 --> 01:52:03.510
Subway's word for it that they're doing what

01:52:03.510 --> 01:52:06.890
they say they're doing. It seems really strange

01:52:06.890 --> 01:52:10.189
that if it was that important to their diet and

01:52:10.189 --> 01:52:13.869
their religious beliefs and their prescriptions,

01:52:13.909 --> 01:52:16.729
etc., why would they just take Subway's word

01:52:16.729 --> 01:52:20.729
for it? I wouldn't if I was. If that was my religion

01:52:20.729 --> 01:52:23.130
and it depended on me going to heaven or not.

01:52:24.270 --> 01:52:27.989
I have a habit of not believing what... someone

01:52:27.989 --> 01:52:30.250
tells me if that someone is looking to get my

01:52:30.250 --> 01:52:34.109
money yeah well there um from what i read there

01:52:34.109 --> 01:52:37.409
was some evidence that's uh that supported that

01:52:37.409 --> 01:52:41.630
they knew about jared and all of his uh um his

01:52:41.630 --> 01:52:45.430
pedophilia activities activity yeah his activities

01:52:45.430 --> 01:52:48.590
that sent him to prison they knew about it beforehand

01:52:49.609 --> 01:52:51.649
and didn't want to do anything about it because

01:52:51.649 --> 01:52:53.569
that would make them look bad. I don't know if

01:52:53.569 --> 01:52:55.670
that's true or not, but that's been a lot of

01:52:55.670 --> 01:52:58.710
speculation, and people had some evidence that

01:52:58.710 --> 01:53:01.470
could have supported that, in my opinion. So,

01:53:01.470 --> 01:53:04.689
that right there. The documentary I saw about

01:53:04.689 --> 01:53:08.649
Jared and Subway said they didn't come right

01:53:08.649 --> 01:53:13.210
out and say that Subway knew about it, but they

01:53:13.210 --> 01:53:17.489
said there was speculation that... subway knew

01:53:17.489 --> 01:53:20.229
about it and was already formulating an exit

01:53:20.229 --> 01:53:23.310
strategy to get themselves separate from jared

01:53:23.310 --> 01:53:26.069
that's what i saw it sound out about it yep yeah

01:53:26.069 --> 01:53:30.909
um to me that's very believable that is especially

01:53:30.909 --> 01:53:33.510
since they they decided to go ahead and mention

01:53:33.510 --> 01:53:35.630
it in the documentary even though they couldn't

01:53:35.630 --> 01:53:37.930
back it up they're like we we got to tell people

01:53:37.930 --> 01:53:43.590
somewhere or another yes yes uh that's called

01:53:43.590 --> 01:53:56.149
hedging your bet Yeah, well, actually, my next

01:53:56.149 --> 01:53:59.529
one is talking about a restaurant that is actually

01:53:59.529 --> 01:54:45.300
flourishing. Yeah. Something, yeah. I'm just

01:54:45.300 --> 01:54:46.819
trying to figure out where to come up with a

01:54:46.819 --> 01:54:54.899
point, too. That's probably the teenagers. There

01:54:54.899 --> 01:54:57.960
we go. That's it right there. Hey, they're a

01:54:57.960 --> 01:55:01.079
smart company. While McDonald's is teetering

01:55:01.079 --> 01:55:04.800
on obliteration, they're coming out strong and

01:55:04.800 --> 01:55:08.260
swinging. I love it. Nice. This capitalism at

01:55:08.260 --> 01:56:32.970
its finest. Ronald McDonald House charity. Oh.

01:56:33.750 --> 01:56:38.369
Man. Because currently McDonald's supplies 20

01:56:38.369 --> 01:56:41.470
% of the operating budget of that charity per

01:56:41.470 --> 01:56:44.130
year, and then the other 80 % is made up by everybody

01:56:44.130 --> 01:56:47.510
else. But for that 20%, McDonald's gets the naming

01:56:47.510 --> 01:56:51.689
rights. But as their business falters, aren't

01:56:51.689 --> 01:56:55.810
they going to be able to keep up that 20 %? I

01:56:55.810 --> 01:56:57.510
don't think they will. I don't think they will

01:56:57.510 --> 01:57:04.250
either. That is a really good point. I think

01:57:04.250 --> 01:57:06.109
that they would go to cover their head mode,

01:57:06.229 --> 01:57:08.409
and that means chopping as many heads as they

01:57:08.409 --> 01:57:14.729
can. Yeah, yeah. Like most businesses do. I would

01:57:14.729 --> 01:57:17.609
carefully watch to see if the Ronald McDonald

01:57:17.609 --> 01:57:22.449
House Charities gets any kind of movement, like

01:57:22.449 --> 01:57:28.359
being spun off to another division. Because that

01:57:28.359 --> 01:57:30.720
would be the first warning sign that the restaurant

01:57:30.720 --> 01:57:32.859
chain is going downhill and they don't want to

01:57:32.859 --> 01:57:34.840
take the Ronald McDonald House Charities with

01:57:34.840 --> 01:57:37.920
it. I could see that happening. There would be

01:57:37.920 --> 01:57:41.340
no reason to spin it off into any different division

01:57:41.340 --> 01:57:45.479
or subsidiary or put it under the purview of

01:57:45.479 --> 01:57:47.859
somebody else. No reason to change anything unless

01:57:47.859 --> 01:57:51.079
the restaurant chain was really faltering. So

01:57:51.079 --> 01:57:53.680
that's what I'm going to watch for. I love what

01:57:53.680 --> 01:57:58.199
Burger King did. Oh, go ahead. I was going to

01:57:58.199 --> 01:58:02.140
say, at that point, when it does falter, would

01:58:02.140 --> 01:58:05.939
you look into Burger King taking over that position,

01:58:06.220 --> 01:58:09.880
or would you look for somebody entirely different?

01:58:10.699 --> 01:58:16.539
For Burger King, that might be too big of an

01:58:16.539 --> 01:58:19.539
exposure all at once to get all those stores,

01:58:19.699 --> 01:58:22.800
so I would imagine that they would probably have

01:58:22.800 --> 01:58:26.760
somebody else taking over parts of them here,

01:58:27.859 --> 01:58:31.800
A whole McDonald's network might get kind of

01:58:31.800 --> 01:58:35.399
parted out and a smaller, leaner McDonald's emerge

01:58:35.399 --> 01:58:38.039
from the other end of that. I think what will

01:58:38.039 --> 01:58:41.460
happen is Chick -fil -A is still not nationwide,

01:58:41.640 --> 01:58:43.939
and it's one of the top ones, and it's growing.

01:58:44.359 --> 01:58:48.359
And people are like, I mean, it is just exploding,

01:58:48.579 --> 01:58:52.300
which Burger King is bouncing back well, but

01:58:52.300 --> 01:58:55.619
they're not ready for that big leap where Chick

01:58:55.619 --> 01:58:58.670
-fil -A is. They found their opening, and they're

01:58:58.670 --> 01:59:00.569
going right through it, and they do it through,

01:59:00.649 --> 01:59:04.949
like, home values. They're never open on Sunday.

01:59:05.029 --> 01:59:08.109
They treat their employees well. They have lean

01:59:08.109 --> 01:59:11.329
foods. They have foods that aren't quite as bad

01:59:11.329 --> 01:59:14.229
for you as the other places, cholesterol -wise

01:59:14.229 --> 01:59:17.810
and all that. They have different varieties of

01:59:17.810 --> 01:59:21.130
stuff, and they only serve chicken, which the

01:59:21.130 --> 01:59:24.590
younger generation likes. I mean, we have Wendy's

01:59:24.590 --> 01:59:29.170
filtering. Chipotle is kind of stagnated. I think

01:59:29.170 --> 01:59:31.529
Chick -fil -A might be the one that takes the

01:59:31.529 --> 01:59:34.409
top seed with maybe Burger King being behind

01:59:34.409 --> 01:59:37.369
it by a little ways. That's my thought. Another

01:59:37.369 --> 01:59:40.630
advantage to Chick -fil -A is the employees don't

01:59:40.630 --> 01:59:42.869
look at you like they hate you. Yes. I mean,

01:59:42.890 --> 01:59:45.590
that's why I stopped going to McDonald's. You

01:59:45.590 --> 01:59:48.109
know, I used to go in to get my food, but the

01:59:48.109 --> 01:59:50.189
employees looked at me like they wished I would

01:59:50.189 --> 01:59:52.710
just turn around and go away. Mm -hmm. And then

01:59:52.710 --> 01:59:54.270
I'd go through, it's like, well, I'll just do

01:59:54.270 --> 01:59:56.109
the drive -through. But you can hear in their

01:59:56.109 --> 01:59:58.390
voice that they just hate being there and don't

01:59:58.390 --> 02:00:01.630
even want to talk to you. Yeah. So, I mean, I

02:00:01.630 --> 02:00:03.550
don't want to get food from people like that.

02:00:03.869 --> 02:00:06.569
No, me neither. Me neither. I want people who

02:00:06.569 --> 02:00:09.550
are happy, you know? Well, I like what... That's

02:00:09.550 --> 02:00:13.170
the food you have to worry that's been spit in.

02:00:13.949 --> 02:00:18.470
Yep. Yes. Yeah. I like what Burger King did.

02:00:18.989 --> 02:00:21.090
McDonald's came out with a big arch and was all

02:00:21.090 --> 02:00:24.170
smug and happy about it, and then their CEO shit

02:00:24.170 --> 02:00:28.770
the bed like he did. Burger King just came out

02:00:28.770 --> 02:00:31.310
and said, our sandwiches are great, but we're

02:00:31.310 --> 02:00:33.189
going to improve the Whopper a little bit, and

02:00:33.189 --> 02:00:35.189
it's going to still be the best sandwich, but

02:00:35.189 --> 02:00:38.600
it's only going to be better. I love the way

02:00:38.600 --> 02:00:40.020
they handled that. They're like, look, we're

02:00:40.020 --> 02:00:41.939
going to use a better bun. We're going to use

02:00:41.939 --> 02:00:44.539
more creamy, smooth mayonnaise. We're going to

02:00:44.539 --> 02:00:47.220
use a little bit better beef. And you guys are

02:00:47.220 --> 02:00:49.220
going to love this sandwich more than you love

02:00:49.220 --> 02:00:51.439
the Whopper, which is a great sandwich. They

02:00:51.439 --> 02:00:53.779
didn't take a dump on it, kind of like McDonald's

02:00:53.779 --> 02:00:58.000
did. Yeah. Right. So I think that they're handling

02:00:58.000 --> 02:01:00.729
everything perfect, whoever's running them. I

02:01:00.729 --> 02:01:02.750
think is doing a really good job. I mean, they're

02:01:02.750 --> 02:01:06.609
not like the Applebee's fucking implosion. They're

02:01:06.609 --> 02:01:09.350
doing something right. And where McDonald's,

02:01:09.350 --> 02:01:12.149
to me, is falling off a cliff. And that does

02:01:12.149 --> 02:01:17.489
not necessarily bother me in one bit. Yeah. All

02:01:17.489 --> 02:01:20.090
right. I guess we probably better get off here.

02:01:20.189 --> 02:01:23.189
I got to get up. And Rob's got to get up. And

02:01:23.189 --> 02:01:24.689
I don't know. Topher, you got something going

02:01:24.689 --> 02:01:28.539
on? Or are you going to sleep in? Well, the little

02:01:28.539 --> 02:01:30.619
dog is going to get me up about 6 in the morning.

02:01:30.819 --> 02:01:33.819
Oh, Paisley. She has a studio named after her.

02:01:34.800 --> 02:01:37.640
She does. She just got a bath tonight. While

02:01:37.640 --> 02:01:40.119
I was down here doing this podcast, my wife was

02:01:40.119 --> 02:01:42.100
up there bathing the dog, so I've got to go up

02:01:42.100 --> 02:01:45.579
and look and see how clean she looks. Awesome.

02:01:46.079 --> 02:01:48.619
All right, guys, thank you for joining me, and

02:01:48.619 --> 02:01:50.699
everybody out there, thank you for joining us.

02:01:51.000 --> 02:02:03.250
Good night, assholes. Oh no, looks like the show's

02:02:03.250 --> 02:02:06.869
over kids. Mark has explosive diarrhea and can't

02:02:06.869 --> 02:02:10.310
afford a wireless mic. Fear not assholes, they'll

02:02:10.310 --> 02:02:12.050
be back invading your ear hole soon.