You are listening to Two Douchebags in Microphone,
alternate universe edition. The alternate douchebags
pledge. Turn up the show and scream obscenities
while flapping your arms like a chicken. That's
it. We keep it simple in this universe. Three,
two, one, and go. Two douchebags and a microphone?
We don't stand behind our journalistic integrity.
Go ahead and assume we got the story wrong. At
least we admit it. Not like all those other guys,
we can and will lie if it makes the story better.
Two douchebags and a microphone? Hey peeps! It's
time for the police blotter. That's right stories
about stupid criminals and the dumbassness that
ensued. Let us begin now. Dean Young, 26, entered
a parked landscaping van in Hialeah, Florida,
allegedly to steal the tools in the inside. He
accidentally locked himself inside the van and
begins screaming for someone to let him out.
The landscapers heard the man's screams and promptly
called the police where he was arrested for breaking
and entering a vehicle and for attempted theft.
This guy gets a stupid pendant pronto. People
often ask, how do we cram so much money into
one little shell? Well, it's simple. We buy funny
in bulk on the internet. Hey Mark, you're wanted
at the front door. There's a big bag of funny
they need you to sign for. Okay, thanks a lot.
I'll be right there. I'm still sorting out the
funny we got from yesterday. There's your answer.
We buy funny in bulk on the internet. Hey there,
slap nuts. It's time for the Creeps Music News.
Hey, my little pumpkin seeds. This is Johnny
Rohypnol with your music news. Remember the 70s
rock band Angel? Yep, those guys. All dressed
in white with the logo that read Angel. Upside
or down? Yes, those guys. Well, they have a final
album in the works with a final tour. No date
set yet, but the album is coming out this summer.
This is Johnny Rohypnol. That was your music
news. And remember, bar chords are bullshit.
Have you ever wondered what something is about?
Have you ever looked at something and said, hey,
I wonder what the origin of that is? Well, so
have we. That's why we give you The Origin of.
The Origin of the Goatee. The Goatee is a beard
style that dates back to ancient Greece and Rome
and is named for its resemblance to a goat's
beard. The Goatee has been worn by many famous
men throughout history, including Uncle Sam,
Henry M. Hoyt, and Mr. Spock. The god Pam was
often depicted with a goatee, and in medieval
and renaissance art, Satan was depicted with
a goatee as well. The goatee became popular again
in the 1940s as a defining trait of the beatniks
and jazz musicians. It fell out of favor again
in the 1960s, but became fashionable again in
the 1990s and 2000s. The term goatee originated
in the late 20th century. It was originally called
a goatee. Here we go. Signs that you might be
a pussy. Signs that you might be a pussy. If
you've ever had Phil Collins or Oingo Boingo
posters on your wall. If you've ever raised your
coffee mug or tea glass with your pinky extended.
If you often lotion up your hands with no apparent
reason. If you like poached eggs, if you sing
along to Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, or if you have
ever wore a pair of Crocs, even just trying them
out, you are a pussy. Here at Two Douchebags
Central, we needed a voice for common sense,
since none of us fit that bill. We opted for
another voice. So here I am, Mr. Buford T. Rasputin.
DeCarlos Brown Jr. in late 2025 was released
on a promise to appear by Magistrate Judge Teresa
Stokes, despite having 14 prior arrests. Following
his release, he stabbed to death Irina Zarytska
to death at a light rail station. Jason Ayala,
New York, New York. In January 2025, Judge Robert
Rosehensel granted Ayala supervised release while
he was awaiting violent forced robbery charges.
The following day, Ayala allegedly committed
a sexual assault spree, molesting two children
and three adult women within a 30 -minute window.
There are literally hundreds more over that span
of a couple of years, so that's where this fine
show comes in. We introduce to you the Adopt
-a -Judge program. This would be a true way to
measure if a judge is willing to guarantee the
criminal has reformed. The program is simple.
A judge lets a violent criminal out early or
on a signature bond or whatever. The said judge
has to sign responsibility papers to ensure that
his convict will not partake in heinous acts.
The released convict would also have to live
with that judge until the victim's family okays
the person for a regular life and can leave the
judge's dwelling. This has been Buford T. Rasputin
signing off with your Common Sense Moment. Get
on out of here so mama can make some pancakes,
boy. And now we look in on the adventures of
the Technical Explanation Guy. Why, excuse me,
my dear sir. Could you please direct me to the
nearest self -employed person in a motorized
vehicle that will transport me where I ask them
to in exchange for money and a tip? Do you mean
an Uber ride? Why, yes. Yes, I do mean an Uber
ride. Then just say an Uber ride, you dumb motherfucker.
And why are you constantly following me around
asking me stupid questions? Fucking idiot. and
we are rolling hello we are at a brand new location
today this would be the actual the opening day
the very first heartbeats ground level of the
rock island bridge here in kansas city actually
kansas because as soon as you hit the bridge
it is kansas officially you cross the state line
so remember that the laws over here in kansas
are slightly different Yep, yep, so hide your
weed. Yeah, leave your weed at home, definitely.
But, I mean, if you want to prostitute or something,
that's fine. Kansas doesn't care. They love it.
Allegedly, not really. Allegedly, yeah. You know
what? We are the very first podcast to ever podcast
from this bridge. We are. Ever. Yes, ever. That's
pretty amazing. As a matter of fact, we already
made some friends of this bridge. We did, yeah.
Yeah, they're going to come over and promote
their stuff. Yeah, what's it called? River House.
River House, yeah. The guy will periodically
come over here and he will fill us in on their
specials and everything that's going. And events.
They have events coming up. They have a lot of
events. They have a cocktail party coming up
that I'm signed up for. Yeah, they've got yoga
on the bridge. Which you and I are going to participate
in. Probably so, yeah. I thought it said yo -yo
at first. I did too, and I signed up going by
that. I'm going to walk the dog all over that.
Oh, wait, yoga? No, okay, never mind. Yeah, forget
it. But speaking of dogs, it is a dog -friendly
bridge. It is. Keep your dog on a leash, no problem.
Yeah, all the dogs said hi to me. Yeah. I know,
it was so friendly. All right. Okay. So this
is the Two Douchebags and Microphone Alternative
Universe Edition. Alternative Universe, yeah.
But we do have some football stuff, you know.
Yeah. So we are going to – do you want to go
straight to the football stuff? Yeah, yeah. That's
what we're kind of warmed up on. Yeah. Okay.
We're still working out the kinks of our location
here, so you're going to hear some noises and
some things. Yeah, we hear a little rattling.
We'll figure it out. Yeah. So, I mean, it's still
us, though. Yeah. For better or worse. All right.
Curious Need is supposedly going to sign with
the Chiefs per Adam Schefter. Wow. I hope he's
cheaper. He would have to be. He would have to
be pretty cheap. Well, no, the rumor is he said,
I want to go to the Chiefs. Yeah. And he's taken
less money to go to the Chiefs. And he didn't
exactly have a dazzling performance those two
years over there in Tennessee. No, no, no. I
mean, good for him that he was able to get a
good payday there. Also good for him for realizing
that Kansas City Chiefs is where he needs to
be. Well, yeah, he was traded. He was traded,
so he had no choice. Because we couldn't afford
him. Yeah, we couldn't afford him. But now it
appears that we will be able to afford him, which
I'm all about. I mean, look, the guy, if he could
become that shutdown corner again like he did
here a couple of years ago. Yeah. Yeah, that's
what we need on that one side. And then we have
Williams. Yeah. I think it's Knoll. There's a
couple of Williams. One we let go. We're going
to go test free agency. Yeah, Noel Williams.
It appears to be. another guy in the coming up
and then uh you know we're getting some defensive
line help we gotta yeah um the defense suddenly
isn't quite as worrisome if they if they do sign
legerius need and he is healthy and he is somewhat
of what he used to be yeah yeah just that one
little move well i guess they've made some other
moves too but nothing like big and splashy like
kenneth walker happened on the defense but still
that was starting to feel good about the defense
i still shake my head and go wow i can't believe
the chiefs actually paid for somebody I mean,
their M .O. was Kelsey, Mahomes, Jones. I mean,
everyone else they gave good contracts to, but
those were like the cornerstones. Yeah, but you
look back at the Dallas dynasty with Aikman at
quarterback. Emmitt Smith. Michael Irvin at receiver.
Yeah, and Emmitt Smith at running back. And so
you had the quarterback, the receiver, and the
running back. Yes. And that was really tough
to stop. And it was a winning formula, so that's
what we're trying here. And people, for some
reason, are still high on Rice. He has all the
ability in the world. Yeah. And he was injured.
So I'm willing to go ahead and let's see what
happens. And let's hope another year removed
from his whole mess with the traffic accident
and all that stuff. Maybe his head's a little
bit... in a better place and he can concentrate
on the game more and do better on the field.
Primarily, he needs to succeed as a human being,
but let's hope he's done that to the point where
he can now succeed as a Kansas City Chief, too.
The early reports is he has changed his life
around. I hope so. I certainly hope so. And not
just for the Chiefs, but for the young man. Absolutely.
And everybody in his family, everyone who cares
about him, they want him to succeed. Yeah, I
want him to succeed because he's a young man
that has a talent. Even if he were on the hated
Raiders, I would want him to succeed. succeed
it's same here you know he's a human being i
don't care what team he's on he's a human being
yeah so so that part of it yeah we really really
wish him luck and yeah but we would love to see
him come back to form too so definitely definitely
um i got just a couple of questions this isn't
bullet points yet okay so um so who would be
the top five super bowl contenders right now
wow you know i'm thinking the chiefs have got
to be in there Because of pedigree, barely. I'm
going to say they're number five. Yeah, if Kelsey
wasn't coming back, then it would probably not
be in the top five. Yeah. But, yeah, I'm thinking
probably number five, the Chiefs. Yeah. And as
far as teams that have been strong. Number one,
you've got to go with Seattle. Probably Seattle,
yeah. Yeah, they've lost a couple of pieces,
but I still think there's enough of them. Anyhow,
go ahead. I'm thinking Denver's going to make
a serious run. Denver is probably number two.
I don't know if I include the Patriots in it
or not. Yeah, Patriots, Bills, Ravens, I'm just
not really sure about. I'm not sure either. The
Bills have done some different things this year,
but I can't get a really good read on it. It
seems to me like they're, oh, hey, thank you.
Hey, we just got a card from... Hey, you got
anything you want to talk about on here? All
right. Okay, thank you. We have a contact now.
Oh, good. This might be our new home base. We'll
get our name on the list and we'll feel like
we're cool. Yeah, we will. But we'll see. As
far as the rest of the AFC, man, I'm struggling
to find something. I mean, Pittsburgh might be
better. But they have a long way to go. Yeah,
Pittsburgh has got a lot of different holes they
need to fill. And Aaron Rodgers is going to be
a year older. I'm pretty sure he's coming back
because of Mike McCarthy. Yeah, it seems pretty
likely. I think that was the whole idea when
Tomlin decided to step down. He probably said,
you know, I really like McCarthy. I might stick
around if he's here. And I think he probably
had a lot to do with him being there. Yeah, yeah.
I know Rogers felt really bad about stinking
it up last year, and he feels like he was part
of the reason Tomlin was fired. Yeah. Well, was
he fired? Do you think he was? Well, yeah, he
resigned, but it was the kind of thing of, you
know, we'll let you resign so you don't have
the stigma of getting fired. Yeah. You know,
you can tell everyone you left on your own terms.
And also, I still have problems with firing someone
like Mike Tomlin, but I know it has to happen,
though. Yeah, yeah. It's not necessarily the
fact that they suck, because they don't. It's
just the fact that you've been, I mean, look
at Andy Reid in Philadelphia. Yeah. He admitted,
he said, it is my time to go. Yeah. And, well,
he didn't look back, did he? Yeah. No. I don't
think it was Sean McDermott's time to go in Buffalo
quite yet. No, he deserved. I wasn't surprised
when it happened to him. I wasn't surprised,
no. But I didn't think it was the right move
at that time. I think it was more, it was obviously
the body of work. Yeah. Because they go, okay.
Now, to put that in realistically, look at the
AFC during the time. Okay, you had Josh Allen,
of course, but you had Patrick Mahomes, and you
also had Lamar Jackson and Joe Burrow. You had
elite quarterbacks as good, if not better, than
your quarterback. So I don't know what McDermott
could have done with a lot of those games. The
13th second game, no. No, no, no. There was nothing
you could do. No, no, really. No. I wonder how
much influence the new stadium next year had
on firing McDermott. I think it's a pressure
on him. Yeah, I think that was part of the pressure.
If they hadn't had the new stadium next year,
McDermott might have stuck around another year.
I would agree. Yeah. Yeah, so, you know, but
McDermott's going to be fine. He's going to land
on his feet. He decided to take the year off,
I believe. Seems like it, yeah, and that's probably
a good idea. It is. Let him go clear his head
and then look for the right opportunity. He has
enough behind him to where he can wait for that
job, and I think he's going to. He's not a dumb
guy, obviously. And from the indications that
we all read and heard, McDermott knew a few weeks
before the end of the season that it was make
it to the Super Bowl or you're done. So I'm sure
he was making plans at that point. That's what
smart people do. Yeah. So whatever he had as
his backup plan, now he can go do that. Yeah.
Yeah. So, you know, and I like McDermott. I've
always been a fan of him. He is a pretty, to
me, a pretty well -grounded, reasonable guy.
Yeah. Yeah, you never hear of any blow -ups or
outbursts or dick moves on his part. It's always
just business as usual. Yeah. That seems to be
what Buffalo wants in a head coach. They don't
want some. wild man. No, you're right, they don't.
Colleges seem to like wild coaches, but the NFL
tends to not like the wild, crazy coaches. Or
the good old Urban Meyer at Jacksonville. Or
Deion Sanders wasn't exactly calm and tame over
there in Colorado. No, he wasn't, no. But you
noticed on the Urban Meyer situation where they
got rid of him so quick that the whole thing
did not come out. Yeah. That was on purpose.
Yeah, and I think the message there to the entire
college coaching community was, don't come up
here and act like this guy, or we're just going
to quit bringing in college coaches for a while.
Yes. We'll hire from within, and y 'all are going
to start out as low -level assistants. Yeah,
and I mean, actually, I mean, there's a few of
them that work out really well in college, and
then a majority of them don't. Urban Meyer was
at Florida? Florida, yeah. And they were all
in on his image. Yeah, they were. And so they
weren't going to make him tame his ass down because
having Urban Meyer in the NFL would have been
excellent news for Florida. Yeah, if he went
into like staying in the town that you just left
with some girl. Yeah, I believe he was married,
wasn't he? Yeah, I think he was. Maybe not so
much anymore, maybe. I don't know. Oh, yeah.
I don't know. You think Dave Grohl, the Foo Fighters,
wound up unmarried for about the same reason?
Because he wound up plus kidded. Yes. Plus kidded.
Yeah. Okay. He portrayed his image as one of
the better guys in rock and roll, the family
man who never strays and blah, blah. Well, the
best way it was ever handled was Ozzy Osbourne.
when he got caught having an affair with his
hairdresser. And he goes, I'm a rock star. That's
what I'm supposed to do. And everyone was like,
nothing to see here. I loved it. He just, hey,
this is what I do. Get out of here now. Ozzy
had so many opportunities where he said just
the exact right thing for the circumstance. And
he just came up with it at the spur of the moment.
Oh, I know. Quite brilliant. Very gifted in that
way. He gets a lot of credit, but he'll never
get the credit for everything that he's done.
Because people tend to look at him, even myself,
as, oh, he wasn't that good a singer. Actually,
he really was. Yeah, I mean, you're not going
to want him to sing Sinatra or anything like
that. But for being a rock and roll vocalist.
What more could you want, really? No, he was
energetic. Everybody liked his voice. Yeah. He
had a very distinct voice. He could sing anywhere.
Yeah. He could sing in a choir. You could pick
him out. I think he had a pretty decent range,
too. I mean, he had a better range than a lot
of people who were also very successful. Well,
people are more famously like Robert Plant and
stuff like that, and they're like, well, Ozzy
was off -key. Well, did you ever hear Robert
Plant? Oh, my God. Robert Plant didn't care what
key you were in. He was just going to emit one
of those wails, and it was going to be all over
the place. keyboard just like I don't care David
Coverdell can get painful at times yeah yeah
but he can also be very good too I mean yeah
so well anyhow all right we'll go back to football
here all right we kind of answered this already
but it's on here so how tough will Denver be
this year I think they'll be a lot tougher it's
gonna be them and the Chiefs I think battling
I don't think that the Chargers are quite there
yet. No, really not. They didn't do anything
this past season to really help themselves. Yeah,
they kind of look like they're going to take
a step back. Yeah. And also, I am just not that
big of a Justin Herbert fan. Yeah, I'm not either.
He doesn't really show that gut. You see Josh
Allen out there, and he's just like, fuck, he's
just like obsessed with winning it. And it just
looks to me like Justin Herbert's kind of like,
he's kind of like Trevor Lawrence. It looks like
he's thinking about the beach instead of like
thinking about winning the game. That's a good
point. When I'm watching, I'm realizing now what
I'm seeing in Josh Allen is he doesn't care what
happens to him. He wants the play to succeed.
Exactly, where it looks like Herbert's kind of
like, I'm not doing that. I'm going to get hurt.
Yeah, yeah, which is what most normal people
do is like, oh, no, that's going to hurt. I'm
holding back. I'm moving somewhere else. Yeah,
it looks to me like he holds back where someone
like Allen or Mahomes or Jackson, you know, it
doesn't care. He doesn't have the fearless quality
where he's just going to throw it all out there
and hope for the best. Or Jackson will just keep...
Oh, God. Oh, man, that guy, I bet you... They
are defensive backs crying in their sleep over
that guy. It can also go wrong because Tua would
have had a longer career in Miami if he hadn't
thrown himself into a lot of situations. And
I think Jackson is starting to get to that because
he does have the arm. You see, I have to give
John Harbaugh and his staff a lot of credit.
Instead of just sitting on their laurels with
this guy being really good, they're like, no,
no, no, we're going to perfect his passing. And
they did. So the guy, he can throw that pinpoint
pass, and he can run. And if you ever see him
like someone with Andy Reid or something, oh,
my gosh, that would be just deadly, wouldn't
it? That would. Yeah, so anyhow. All right. So
despite all the Chiefs' recent success, are the
Broncos the team to beat in the division? And
I would say yes, but. Yeah, plus, you know. With
the way the Denver season ended last year with
Bo Nix going out and them having basically nobody,
they're going to make sure that doesn't happen
to them again. Yes. So you're not going to see
that ever happen again with the Broncos under
this head coach. Someone's peeling a child. Oh,
yeah. I thought they had an area for that. Oh,
yeah. Child peeling areas over there to the left.
It's like they got one arm off. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They're trying to get the foot off, and that's
what the problem is. He's very attached to his
foot. All right, you got something. We talked
a little football. We can go back to football.
I have more stories. I watched some UFL action
over the weekend. Oh, yeah. And I was really
impressed with the level of play. It was good
football. It's better. I've watched some of it.
Yeah, yeah. It was exciting turnovers, exciting
long passes. I like some of the new rules. Yeah,
yeah. That's a good point. They have some new
rules for this year. Number one is once you cross
the 50, you cannot punt. Yeah, I love that. I
love it, too. Okay, now, like we were talking
about before is, okay, here's how something like
that can work, okay? All right. Everything's
a Hail Mary past 50 -yard line. Yeah. It's like,
okay, I'm going to throw it down there. I'm going
to have my guys all in this area. If they catch
it, we got the first down. We're on the goal
line or really close. And if not, they catch
it, we tackle them, and it is the same as a kick.
Yeah, pretty much. I love that. Yeah. It dares
teams to go for it. Plus the fact that. If it's
a long enough field goal, you get four points
instead of three. Yeah. Oh, downtown airport,
we're going to hear a lot of planes. Oh, yeah,
this is true. We're probably not going to see
too many because the cloud cover is pretty low.
Oh, there it is behind you. Oh, yeah, there he
is. Twin engine biz jet. Yep. Kill. All right.
Another rule change. Was that Braniff? TWA. TWA,
okay. They have identical planes. Let's see,
another rule change. Google it. Yeah. One foot.
Inbounds for receptions, not two feet. You only
need one foot, just like in college. I love that.
That is awesome. That's going to take away all
these iffies like, well, like... Did he drag
his toe? Can you see it moving the grass blades?
The Isaiah Likely play, famous a couple of years
ago with the jeans with his black shoe on the
white line. And then when Mahomes said wear white
shoes, he got pissed for some reason. Mahomes
was right. He is, absolutely. He wasn't being
a smartass. He said, wear white shoes. They won't
be able to tell. Oh, that's good. Yeah. Let's
see. And then, as in college, they stop the clock
on a first down so they can reset the down markers,
which will help make the game last a little longer,
especially in under two minutes. Well, they want
people to have time to hit that bet button. Plus,
no more tush -push in the UFL. You know what?
I agree with that 100%. I agree, too. It's a
dead play. It's done. It's another dead play.
And also, it's off sides. It's been proven. Yeah.
It was taken from rugby, I believe. Oh, yeah.
Or, yeah, the scrum. The scrum, yeah. The scrum,
that's it. And that's actually where we got the
name line of scrimmage, because it used to be
called the line of scrummage. Scrummage. Because
the scrum would happen right there on that line,
so it got modified to scrimmage. I think scrum
became somewhat of a cuss word for a while. Yeah.
Oh, look at this scrum in here. So I think that's
when they started going, okay, it's scrimmage
now. It's not scrum. Yeah. So, anyhow. They got
some new teams in the UFL. New stadiums. They're
not doing them all out of one or two stadiums
now. In fact, one of the ones that I watched
the replay of, it was sold out. The stadium was
sold out. Which is, I don't know, that happens
all that often in the NFL. I don't think so,
but I think that's going to be to where every
new market, they're probably going to be giving
away promotionary tickets to, probably to like
corporations and stuff. And going, hey, thanks
for doing business with us here. Take you and
your family, go to see the Octopuses game or
whatever their name is. And it makes perfect
sense. I mean, would you rather have 15 ,000
unsold seats and you just throw the tickets away?
Or do you want to give those tickets away and
those people show up and buy concessions and
merchandise? Oh, I'd rather give the tickets
away. Yeah, give the tickets away rather than
just burn them. Yeah, bands that really can't
sell like they think they can, like Motley Crue
allegedly and stuff like that, they end up doing
$20 tickets. Or I actually got into a couple
of concerts. Because they're just still giveaways.
Yeah. This is on an online radio station. And
Black Sabbath, the reunion with Ozzy when they
came through in 2014, I believe. Yeah. I was
actually in line when I won the tickets through
this online radio station called knac .com. Wow.
And my brother, he goes. Fine, we'll just sell
your tickets. I'm like, what do you mean? He
goes, yeah. He goes, just go, hey, I got a ticket
for sale. So I said, let's go to Will Call first.
Make sure we got these tickets. Oh, yeah. And
they did. It was legit, and they were great seats.
And I just won them. And that was probably through
the promoter saying, hey, you know, we need to
get more people in here to buy beers. And we
did. We bought beers with extra money. Why not?
We both sold our tickets for $80 each at the
front. Right there, we walked the person up to
the front. to make sure they were real. Guy said,
yep, it's real. Gave us 80 bucks, we gave him
the ticket. And it worked out well. But no, they
do stuff like that all the time, and the UFL
should do it too. Yeah, yeah. And bands are doing
that too. A lot of bands that aren't big mainstream.
they get the majority of their money from merchandise
sale. So they're happy to show up at a place
and play for either free or like a buck a head
to get in. Well, a lot of these festivals, that's
what it is. It's like, all right, you're going
to have your tent over here, and you're going
to have three different types of t -shirts, and
every beer sold during your show, you're going
to get a quarter or whatever. I had some gigs
like that where we got a percentage of the door
and a percentage of the bar during the hours
we were supposed to be playing. But we got screwed
on that every single time. They always do that.
There was a time the place was packed, and the
guy tried to tell us that only 50 people showed
up, and they didn't drink much beer. It was like,
asshole. But by then, there's nothing you can
do. No, you already performed it. What are you
going to do, go get a lawyer? Well, the way to
fight that is to get a union card. But then those
bars won't hire you. No, they won't. You're right.
Oh, well. All right, anyhow, go ahead. We were
talking about the NFL. So it really seems like
the NFL is trying to develop that as either a
minor league or a developmental league. ESPN
is showing a lot of the games, flexing some of
them off to Fox, flexing some of them off into
the NFL Network, and they're playing the same
bump music that they lay on the... NFL games,
dum -da -da -dum -da -da -dum -da -da -dum -dum
-dum. You know, it's like, oh, football Sunday.
Oh, no way, the UFL. Well, that's a brilliant
idea, number one. It is, yeah. Number two, I
could see it becoming a minor league because
it needs to. On the sideline of the UFL game,
I saw a lighted scroll using the term red zone,
but it was two words instead of a single word.
ESPN owns the rights to the word red zone. They
bought it from the NFL. And then I looked in
my Dish Network programming, and channel 155
is supposed to be NFL Red Zone. It's not there
anymore. Channel 155 is there, and the abbreviation
NFLRZ is still there next to the numbers, but
the description says sign off. That's all there
is to it. That's it? So I think ESPN is taking
the whole. The red zone concept is probably going
to be on an ESPN channel this year. That's probably
why they bought it, was they need that. The red
zone is a really, really good term that people
understand. It's like, oh, he's in the red zone.
Whenever you say red zone, people turn their
heads. It's like, oh, it's time to watch. But
I think if you say it as two words, red space
zone, I think you can still use that anywhere
you want. your tachometer in your car has a red
zone. But if it's all one word, red zone, that
applies to football, I think, specifically. Yeah,
I think you're right. You can still get around
it, but... Good old lawyers. Yeah. Yep. So, all
right. I can't think of much else that I've seen
happening on the football front. Well, I have
some other football stories here. Good, good.
I just had miscellaneous stories. Yeah. Then
we can go into the alternative universe. Yeah.
Another train coming. I'm not exactly sure where
the tracks are, but I certainly hear them. All
right. Here are some of what people believe the
chiefs are looking at in the draft. Okay. Okay.
And this would be like the usual suspects, the
people, you know, the draft people. Yeah. And
this is just a compilation of the ones that seem
to make somewhat sense. There's some of them
like... Jordan, Jeremiah Love. No, no, no. Jordan
Connor keeps coming up as a pass rusher, an edge
rusher that they want to get from the Saints.
He's 36, though, and you already have an older
edge rusher. I don't know if you want to do it.
But people seem to like that idea. Me, I'm kind
of neutral. I don't know. I'm not so sure. Yeah,
at the age of 36, man, that's getting up there
for a football player, especially an edge rusher.
Yeah, it is. All right, well, the Kansas City
have taken much -needed steps in revamping their
running backs for even this offseason. They could
add a longtime AOC rival to help bolster the
wide receiver position. According to Mike Morales
of the Sporting News, the Chiefs are possibly
in the market for veteran free agent receiver
Stephon Diggs. Oh, God. Now, the Sporting News
guy, I've never heard of him before. It's important
to note that. Yeah, yeah. And nobody knows where
he got his information from. And this could just
be bait to try to get people outraged and yelling
and screaming. This could be very easily, but
it bared mention because I was doing this possible
acquisitions. But this is the only report I've
heard on this, which gives me a red flag. Yeah.
So anyhow, this is what he's saying. And if it
doesn't work out, the guy can always go, yeah,
they couldn't get it figured out. Yeah. And then,
you know, he's still, he could be right. Who
knows? All right. He'd been involved in many
battles against the Chiefs, and they know him
well, especially with the Buffalo Bills. And
supposedly that's part of the thought process
is to get him off the market, get him over here.
He already knows us. And that's a good point.
And the Chiefs are accustomed to playing against
him so they would have a better idea of his capabilities
and his health information. If this is true,
then that's what it is. They're like, we know
this guy can still do it, and we think we can.
I mean, you're talking about a guy that got Michael
Vick. You're talking about a guy that took. problem
children, and pretty much straighten him out.
I mean, you know, on a lot of levels. I mean,
he's done this a lot. And I'm talking about Andy
Reid. I'm just remembering when Schottenheimer
and Carl Peterson started bringing in the bad
boys of the NFL and what an utter mess that made
the team. It just destroyed the team. Yeah. You
had, like, what was it? Bam Morris was driving
back from Texas with a car full of weed. Yeah,
they called him Bong Morris. Or I think as Jim
Rome, they called him Bong Morris. Bong Morris,
yeah. And then, see, you had another person who
was involved in a stolen car ring. Yeah. And
then you had Andre Rison that was going out and
getting into fights, wasn't he? Or Spider -Man.
Somebody was getting into fights. I think it
was Bad Moon, but there were some other ones,
too. Larry Johnson, very famously, was a complete
dickhead. He couldn't stop punching women. I
mean, he specifically was caught punching women
over and over. He really seemed to enjoy punching
women, which is problematic. Yeah. Very problematic.
Now, he's turned it all around, and he's a completely
different guy now. And God bless him. I think
that's great. Yeah, good for him. But back then,
man, he was awful. Oh, he was. He was. And as
soon as he stopped performing on the field is
when they got rid of him, which, you know. That
was the only thing keeping him here is because
he was outperforming Priest Holmes. Yeah, Priest
Holmes. Priest Mahomes. Now, I would like to
see a little bit of Priest Holmes in him. I mean,
not the injury, but I'm talking about the guy
that we had before that could run like nuts before
he injured himself. Oh, that would be great.
It's hard to remember that he came from Baltimore.
He did because they had Jamal Lewis. They had
two running backs that could get close to 2 ,000.
Jamal Lewis got 2 ,000 yards on a couple of seasons,
but he didn't last long. And he was a huge guy,
too. Yeah. And the Falcons had some guy named
Jamal Anderson, I think, who had enormous thighs.
I mean, the thighs on that guy were like two
of anybody else's. He reminded me of Barry Sanders.
His thighs were so big. I mean, they're like
the size of fucking warships. I mean, they're
like huge fucking thighs. Yeah. Which means that
he could run, and it's hard to stop him. Yeah.
Hard to get him on the ground. Not necessarily
a fast explosive push, but when he pushed with
those thigh muscles, you weren't going to stop
him. No. He was going to get two or three extra
yards. I would like to know how much force that
was whenever he pushed off with those thighs.
Good question. Yeah. Damn. Yeah. All right. The
Chiefs are another team that needs to add a wide
receiver. Their group is currently headlined
by Rasheed Rice, who is facing more legal trouble.
And Xavier Worthy, who is coming off a disappointing
season, is still considered unproven. Yeah. And
this is what Moradis wrote, this guy. So, all
right. Here is a compilation. Edge rushers, they're
top targets the Chiefs are looking at, and I
think this will depend on who's there. So in
Texas Tech, I mean, you know, Mahomes is familiar
with it, so he may want to go that way, but I
don't know if he's the best choice because Bain,
Reuben Bain Jr. might be a better choice, but
I don't know. Edge rushers, top targets, David
Bailey, Texas Tech, considered an intriguing
option who can single -handedly wreck offenses,
offering high sack potential. Nice. So, yeah,
I do like him, and I did bother to look up some
of his stats and his work, and I think he's very
– I think there's something there, yes. Good
deal. Reuben Bain, Jr., who I referred to a little
bit ago, a technical fit for defensive coordinator
Steve Spagnuolo, though his short arm length,
31 inches, is a concern, but so was Mahomes'
footwork. I mean, look, his arm length I don't
think really – what you got to look at is quickness
and coming off of the ball that's true i mean
that extra reach helps but not all that often
what helps more than that is when he does make
contact having the grip strength to not let go
yes that's not any more important than having
a couple extra inches of reach and the uh i would
like to know how far off arm length are we talking
I mean, are we talking inches? Are we talking,
you know what I mean? Like, are we talking like
one or two inches or are we talking like six
or seven? Well, typically a person with their
arms outstretched to the side will be as wide
as they are tall. So that sounds about right.
So with a 31 inch wingspan, that means 61 inches
overall, which is like five feet, one inches.
But I don't know if they're counting his chest,
too. I mean, if it's just his arms themselves.
I don't know. If he's 6 '5", you'd expect him
to have a reach of half that. Yeah. So, yeah,
we'll see. I mean, actually, after reading this,
and I did not look at Bain Jr. I was familiar
with him just because college plays a lot of
Miami's games. Yeah. And he looks good. It seems
like a lot of people are looking at him, too.
Yes, they are. There may be some people trading
up, and he's gone. Maybe David Bailey will be
the guy we go, or we could trade down. I will
not put that out of the Chiefs. Yeah, I would
like to see them trade out of that number nine
if there's not somebody who's clearly a number
nine pick. You have to have the number nine pick.
You can't go, well, all right, I guess we'll
just go ahead and get Jeremiah Love. No. None
of that. It's like trade out. Get a couple more,
get one for next year. Well, he won't be there
in our next pick, so we better get him now. No.
No, no, no. The Chiefs did that a few times,
not under Reid, but they did that a few times.
You wind up reaching for every single player
when you do that. Yes, you do. And that was one
of their problems is they used to do that. Yeah.
So, all right. Reuben Bain Jr. fits Spagnuolo,
but that doesn't mean anything, you know, because
Spagnuolo can work with anybody. This is true.
And put them in his system. So, Colonel Tate,
a consensus top wideout prospect, consistently
mocked to KC to fit and fix a receiver depth.
Makai Lemon, a quarterback -friendly option,
prays for his route running and ball skills.
Jordan Tyson, a high -riser noted for his potential
if medical reports are clear. Notes in New York
Times. And then Mansoor Delane, or Delaney, whichever,
he is viewed as a lockdown cornerback and an
option to bolster the secondary, who I think
might be more of an option on the table than
people think. Yeah, yeah. Especially if everyone
else is taken. If they think that much of him
being a lockdown corner and you do get Legereus
back, suddenly you're looking at a possible very
potent. Secondary, yeah. Defense, too. Yeah,
and defense also. It is odd for the Chiefs to
draft a corner that high, but they do have good
luck drafting corners. Yeah, they do. They're
really good at drafting corners. Yeah, and developing
them. Well, that's the thing is they take people
with talent and they know how to develop them.
And Spagnuolo, I have to give him credit. Him
and his whole coaching crew, they're brilliant
at it, obviously. Now, the Chiefs. do tend to
get rid of cornerbacks when they start costing
him too much money because they always figure
they can find the next person. They always find
more in the third and fourth round. But there
are positions where they stick with somebody
like Mahomes. They're never going to let him
go. Kelsey, they never let him go. I would like
to see if they draft a cornerback high to just
go all in, and if he starts being your franchise
corner, commit to keeping him for the rest of
his career. I think it depends on the timing
because you have these other contracts like Mahomes
you have to fulfill. So if it comes down to Mahomes
or a nice cornerback, well, I'd go Mahomes. Good
point. All this is just going to be however it
lands in the future. Yeah, it's all going to
keep changing day by day. So that was reported
by Fox 4 KC. Caleb Downs, a safety considered
if the team pivots to a defensive playmaker,
notes the New York Times. Spencer Fano, I think
probably Fano, a potential option to solidify
offensive line. And that was from Fox 4 KC, too.
Based on draft analytics, the Chiefs are focused
on adding immediate impact players on defense
or finding a primary target for quarterback Patrick
Mahomes for New York Times. And if I was a Chiefs,
I would like... to them anyhow, so who knows.
So, is it a top priority for you to see the Chiefs
draft a new weapon for Patrick Mahomes over upgrading
the defense, or do you think upgrading the defense
is over getting Mahomes more help? That's a tough
question. I think I'm going to say get him another
weapon. I think so, too. Because that was lacking
so much last year, and it was such a big effect
on the offense last year. Well, we spoke about
this earlier, and we believe that they can draft
well enough to get around that. So, I mean, in
third and fourth round. Oh, yeah. So, I'm with
you. I'm the same way. I'm like, you know. But
the fast, tall, sure -handed receivers are going
to go in the first round, late, early second
round. So you can't wait until the third round
to get one of them. No. Unless he was injured
half his college career. That's a great point,
too, is someone, a difference maker like that,
you're not going to get that any earlier. No.
No, that's just the way it is. You'll get tall
guys with bad hands or short guys with great
hands. Yeah, or bad minds or questionable. questionable
habits yeah stuff like that super fast but can't
remember what route he's supposed to run all
that kind of those are your third and fourth
rounders those guys yes yeah when you get somebody
wide receiver in those later mid to later rounds
you got to figure their project yeah well i mean
this place i didn't think it'd be that busy but
it's actually less busy than i thought it's probably
because of the weather yeah yeah It'll probably
pick up a little bit. I think this is an old
train bridge, the first one ever built in the
Midwest. Was it 1902? I believe so. Yeah. Yep.
The coming of the railroad. Yep. That's what
they called that era. They used to drive cattle
across the bridge, too. Yes, they did. We're
near the stockyards on the Missouri side. Yep.
This is where the cattle used to stop for a cigarette.
Yeah. Right here. It's pretty cool. They have
a lot of old photos of them smoking. Usually
Marlboro. Yes, yes, yes. And no cheesecake vaping.
No cheesecake vaping. These cows were tough.
They were big John Wayne fans. As a matter of
fact, they did great impressions of him. They
did, yeah. He kind of walked like him, too. Yeah,
he did. Rolled him side to side. What kind of
monkey fuck bullshit are we going on around here,
son? I don't think I ever recall seeing a girl
like you around here. I'm a guy! It's funny,
I think the only cuss word I ever heard John
Wayne say was son of a bitch. I think that's
about it. I don't think he ever dropped an F
-bomb or anything like that. Not on screen, anyway.
You never know about real life. It would be funny
to hear him say the see you next Tuesday. Well,
I think everyone's just a see you next Tuesday.
What? Oh, my gosh. Is that really John Wayne?
That couldn't be. He doesn't say that. You bet
your damn right ankle I do. You're damn right.
Sam Houston is going on here, fellas. So, all
right. All right, Topher, let's turn it to you.
You got something? Yeah, let me. That's all my
football stuff. Okay. I want to talk about cicada
COVID. Okay. That's probably what you had the
other day was cicada COVID. Probably was. All
right. You're a nasty little bastard. I know
that. So. It's getting an ass spanking, by the
way. It is. It's getting pedaling, yes. So there's
a new variant of the COVID -19 called BA -3 .2,
which has circulated under the radar since late
2024, and it's now spreading quickly across the
United States. Okay, then that's probably what
I got. I think after every sentence, you should
think in your mind, allegedly. Allegedly. After
every sentence I read, just think in your mind,
allegedly. Allegedly. Well, we do it at the first
anyhow. Listen, we're not to be trusted. We say
this constantly. You get what you pay for here,
that's for sure. So enjoy your free. Okay, so
there's no sign so far that the BA3 .2, nicknamed
Cicada, is any more dangerous or causes more
severe symptoms than the variants that are currently
circulating in the winter of 2025 to 2026. But
because it's significantly different from them,
the current COVID -19 vaccine may not be as effective
against it. Big surprise, they want you to take
another shot. Oh, nice. Big surprise there. I'm
sorry. Anything Bill Gates has to do, I'm running
the fuck away from. I'm kidding. The first U
.S. case was detected in a traveler coming into
the U .S. in June 2025. Since then, it has been
detected in patients and the wastewater systems
of 29 states. Oh, okay. Turns out wastewater
monitoring is one of the best early methods of
detecting the strain shift from one strain to
another. Because rather than finding people and
testing them, you just test their wastewater.
They pee and poop all that stuff out. You just
test that. It's like, yeah, somebody in this
building is infected. They used to do that actually
during the height of COVID. That's how they could
tell what areas had it the worst. At one time,
Clinton, Missouri had a 70 % positive rate. Oh,
wow. Yeah, look at it. It was crazy. They all
go to the same bar downtown. The number of states
submitting wastewater data to the CDC has declined
since around 2022 after the height of the pandemic,
as you said. And then they have the common sense
steps to avoid getting or spreading COVID -19.
Well, their common sense... They're common sense
steps for anything. It's not just going. It's
like if you've got dirt on your hands. Okay,
first wash your hands after using the bathroom,
before preparing food or eating, and after being
in contact with a sick person. Oh, damn it, there
goes my plant. I mean, isn't that true for anything?
It is. No, that's what pisses me off is they
state the obvious. Are people that stupid or
do they just do it for filler? I think it's just
filler. I think it is too. The second one, if
you feel unwell, stay home. Not just to take
care of yourself to prevent spreading the disease.
They say that for everything and people don't
do it. That's odd because when I tested positive,
I sent my work a message and I don't say who
they are. I love them. They're a great place
to work, but I don't know how they feel about
podcasts, so I don't say who they are. But they
said, if you feel all right, come on in. Yeah,
it's not treated as anything. No, it really isn't.
And then third, go outside. Reducing your time
in crowded environments reduces your chance of
exposure. It's like, well, duh. Thank you, Captain
Obvious. I don't know. Is pollen worse right
now? Possibly. Maybe I'd rather have COVID than
this pollen bullshit. I don't know. It's just...
Why is it nicknamed cicada, did it say? It actually
didn't say, but I kind of like cicada COVID.
They said it's a variant of the Omicron. Oh,
I wonder if it makes your ears buzz or something.
It could be, or maybe it comes around once every
17 years. Oh, that could be too. It's mating
season for COVID. Yes. That's why they're making
that sound. Now, one little fun fact about cicadas,
you have the 7 -year and the 11 -year, the 13
-year. Those are all prime numbers. How did the
cicadas manage to land on prime numbers? Well,
they're really good at math. I guess so. Yeah,
yeah. The cicadas have been proven. They give
them a little pencil and give them little things
to do, and they're really good at it. I mean,
a lot of them are accountants now. Yeah, that's
true. I mean, it works out great. Since they're
prime numbers, they're not divisible by anything
other than themselves. That's true. So you very,
very, very rarely get two broods of cicadas coming
out in the same year. Yeah, that's true. Yeah.
So somehow cicadas got that all figured out through
advanced calculus and, you know, getting their
little cicada abacus going. Well, I mean, you
know, they do have a history of organizing very
well. So, yeah, you know, they all show up at
once. They all leave at once. They all make the
same noise. So, yeah, you know. Anyhow, go ahead.
I'm sorry. Well, that's it for the cicada COVID.
If you've got something else, go ahead. I've
got a couple more stories, but it can wait. I've
got a story here about a man who has died from
a kratom overdose while trying to avoid opioid
drugs. Oh. You know, kratom is one of those things
you can buy in gas stations and vape shops and
stuff. What do they call that? 70H? Yeah, yeah,
yeah. Yeah, that's the actual active ingredient,
like THC is in marijuana, is 7 -OH. Most of the
attention around gas station drugs over the last
year has focused on 7 -hydroxymitragynine, also
known as 7 -OH. Okay. That's the potent kratom
derivative that has, in many ways, taken over
the kratom market. Pills, gummies, and drinks
containing it remain top sellers at Quickie Marts
and smoke shops all across the country, even
as the federal government has moved to ban the
drug, and many cities and states already have.
I prefer Come and Go. Yeah. Quickie Mart's cool,
but Come and Go's better. True. You get Siapu
in there. Yeah. Oh, no, he's in Quickie Mart.
Oh, that is. Yeah, yeah, that's right. It was
the golden blow that Marge's sisters worked at.
That was it. Yeah. Gulping blow. Gulping blow.
All right. 70H. Incredibly addictive. I mean,
just ferociously addictive. It is several times
more potent than morphine and was, until recently,
almost entirely unregulated, which is, of course,
why everybody jumped on it, because there's shit
tons of money to be made on things that aren't
regulated. Yep. You don't have to pay off anybody.
You can just go do it. Yeah. The recent focus
on 7 -OH obscures something else, the Kratom
itself. 7 -OH is naturally present in all Kratom,
but only in trace amounts. The reason 7 -OH products
on the market are so potent is because manufacturers
isolate, concentrate, and chemically enhance
the 7 -OH, just like cigarette companies did
with nicotine, to make the most pleasurable and
powerful stuff inside Kratom and then press it
into pills and other products. Now, there's a
case where a man named David Thacker was taking
Kratom for back pain. He fell off a tractor while
mowing the grass along the highway for the Missouri
Department of Transportation. He suffered a concussion
and back injury. Chronic pain ensued, but because
he lost years of his life in the past to alcoholism,
he didn't want opioids. He said, I'm going to
get addicted to it. I won't want opiates. Give
me something else. So, he decided to try Kratom.
Well, one day last year, his sister came home
from the work and found him dead on the kitchen
floor at age 44. The autopsy determined his cause
of death to be an overdose of mitragynine, the
primary alkaloid in Kratom. No other drugs were
detected. So that by itself did it. That by itself.
And this is the first time that they've been
able to pin it directly on Kratom, because a
lot of the times it was Kratom and several other
things found in the bloodstream. Which gave them
wiggle room, yeah. but this guy died with only
that drug in his system. Okay, well, to me, that's
pretty damning evidence. Now, the hub, a smoke
shop on North Oak Traffic Way in Gladstone, is
where he bought at least some of his Kratom.
The hub is one of several defendants in the wrongful
death lawsuit about David. It has five locations
in the Kansas City area where it sells a wide
variety of gray area intoxicants, including 70H
and Kratom. The lawsuit alleges that... Thacker
regularly bought Kratom there, including the
red Borneo powder found near him when he died.
Quote, the hub appears to be buying Kratom in
bulk, mixing it themselves, repackaging it into
unmarked bags, and selling it at the store, said
attorney Mark Schlegel, who filed the case on
behalf of Thacker's family. Quote again, there's
no real labeling, no warnings, no ingredient
disclosures, nothing that would comply with standard
labeling requirements. Maybe write the name of
the strain on the bag, but that's it. The hub's
ownership structure is a maze of overlapping
entities. Of course, they're trying not to get
traced. Many are named in Schlegel's lawsuit.
They include Vapor III LLC, Odai Alamari, Obata
Mustafa, and Wellness Connect LLC. The suit also
names as dependents the makers of other Kratom
products found at the death scene. OPMS Kratom
and Club 13. None of them could be reached for
comment on this story. And none have yet filed
a response in court. Of course they didn't. Yep.
Hey, how you doing? I'm good, thank you. Hi.
Good. Beautiful place, isn't it? It's gorgeous.
Has Mike been around? Mike Zellers been around?
Is who? Mike Zellers? No, we had a guy, Jeff
Johnson, come up and talk to us. We had Jeff
Johnson come up and talk to us, but that's it.
I'll find another story here. Black flies. Oh,
okay. Residents of the San Gabriel Valley in
California are contending with a dramatic surge
in black flies, a painful little pest known for
biting around the eyes and necks of people and
pets. Nasty little critters. The San Gabriel
Valley Mosquito and Vector Control District.
issued a warning this week advising residents
of a spike in blackfly activity in the foothill
communities including Altadena, Azusa, Bradbury,
Duarte, Glendora, Monrovia, San Dimas, and Sierra
Madre. So it's all over in California? All over,
yeah. Well, the San Gabriel Valley. Oh, okay.
All up and down the San Gabriel Valley. The flies
develop quickly in flowing waters where females
lay 200 to 500 fertilized eggs at a time. They're
currently very active in the valley, and many
residents are feeling overwhelmed, said the district
in a statement. Right now, populations are increasing
due to favorable conditions, and black flies
can travel up to five miles from where they emerge,
which is why they're being seen throughout the
community. There's a brand of... Oh, yeah. Yeah.
The pretty colors. Yeah. Let's see. Azusa resident
Constance Yu described the persistent bugs as
like... tiny little demons while she slaughtered
away the critters during an interview. I love
that. Though the flies cause discomfort, they
are not known to transmit diseases in L .A. County,
according to the Vector Control District. Now,
this time last year, surveillance traps had single
-digit counts of black flies, anywhere from one
to nine. This year, they're capturing more than
500 at a time. That's how big an increase. Over
the same period last year. You know what? That
wood smoke has suddenly started smelling delicious.
Look right over there. You see something smoking?
Oh, that's it. Yeah, they got a big smoker grill
going. Well, maybe we're going to have to sample.
They're starting to get hungry. Yeah, me too.
Yeah, podcast's over. Let's see. District spokesperson
Anais Medina -Diaz said it is... unusual to see
such much fly activity this time of year. Noting
that the uptick is probably connected to the
recent record -setting heat wave, Southern California
is experiencing the hottest March on record,
leading to a surge in snow runoff for the mountains.
Oh yeah, I did see that, yeah. The Southland
has also seen more rattlesnakes with two recent
human fatalities as the early heat draws more
serpents onto the hiking trails. Wow, that's
interesting because, I mean, even rattlesnakes,
it's hard to die from anymore. Yeah, it is. Because
they usually get you help really quick and get
the anti -venom in you. And a lot of times they
bite and they don't even inject the venom because
they're trying to bite you to get you to go away.
Yeah, yeah, they don't, yeah. They want to...
The way I read it is they want to save their
venom for a real predator. It takes a while to
make that. Yeah, they're like, here, I won't
bite you, but it's going to be a warning bite.
So get the hell out of here. I ain't going to
put none of the juice in it. Yeah, no, no, no.
I'm going to save that for somebody else or something
else. They say the toasty ocean temperatures.
As a result of the heat wave, it's also been
linked to a great white shark sighting in Newport
Beach that prompted a temporary beach closing.
It pisses the sharks off. I mean, imagine if
every water you had to drink was hot. All right,
technical glitch. Yeah. It turns out if you set
your paperwork down on top of the laptop, it
presses the space bar, turns the recording off.
Yes. So I won't do that anymore. Yeah. At least
we know that for next time, right? Yeah. Okay.
So did you want to redo your story or did you
want to go into something else? Let's go ahead
and redo that story. Okay. I liked it, so yes.
Okay, this time I'm going to put my readers on
so I can see what I'm reading. Okay. All right.
Study of the Mars rover images from NASA have
raised intriguing possibilities about extraterrestrial
life on the red planet. Ohio University professor
William Romaser has identified what he believes
to be insect and reptile -like creatures. They've
been looking on Mars for traces of life, like
chemical residue, microbe -sized fossils, etc.
But these things are big enough to see. He believes
that Mars once harbored insect and reptile -like
creatures. because he's seeing images from the
Curiosity rover suggesting that some of the things
he's looking at are winged insects and snake
-like reptiles that were hunting them. He refers
to the insect things as bees, and they appear
to possess features similar to terrestrial insects,
including segmented bodies, wings, and jointed
appendages. In one of his findings, a creature
is seen performing an acrobatic flight maneuver
diving steeply before leveling off, much like
an insect on Earth. Which is hard to imagine
because he's looking at still pictures. How does
he know it's diving steeply before leveling off?
That's a good point. How would he know? So, guesswork,
I guess, on his part. He's also uncovered what
he believes are reptile fossils among the rover
photos. One of his key findings... shows a specimen
that bears similarities to an eastern kingsnake
with a distinctive head and bilateral nostrils.
Seems to have a large mouth capable of gaping,
supporting the theory that they were feeding
on the insects. The reptile -like forms show
symmetry and anatomical traits that parallel
Earth's reptiles. These observations led Romeser
to propose that Mars may have supported or may
still support life similar to those on Earth.
And in some of the pictures, it seems like the
reptile creatures are actively hunting the little
bee -type creatures. Now, he has received some
pushback. Some people saying, no, we don't think
this is correct. One of the main points brought
up for this being not correct is the fact that
the Martian atmosphere is so thin. Here on Earth,
we've got a fairly thick atmosphere. You can
fly, we can have airplanes, you can have birds
and things. On Mars, the atmosphere is so thin
that in order to fly, these insects would probably
need wings about four to five feet long. Yeah.
Or bigger. Because of the thin atmosphere. Yeah,
yeah. And that's not what you're seeing. What
you're seeing in these supposed images are insects
that could fly on Earth, but not on Mars. And
there would be no reason for them to develop
wings unless they could fly on Mars. So these
seem to be, like, not realistic. To give an example,
that movie The Martian with Matt Damon, one of
the key points was the rocket was going to blow
over in the windstorm. Well, the most severe
and violent windstorm on Mars feels like a light
breeze because the air is so freaking thin. It's
like somebody throwing feathers at you. You probably
wouldn't even notice. As opposed to somebody
throwing pool balls at you. Yeah. Those you would
notice. Yeah. But Martian atmosphere is so thin,
these things could fly. No way. Yeah. And there's
been no evidence that Mars at once had a very
large and thick atmosphere because it doesn't
have high enough gravity. No, it never has. Yeah.
So this seems like a fun idea, but I really don't
think so. I think I agree with you on that. All
right. Well, I got to... Another, and who knows,
you know, the guy'd just be saying that to get
notoriety or something, you know. True, somebody
will give him grant money to go study it. Yeah,
yeah, I'm certain of this. Okay, all right, well,
here, so. Okay, there is a stuffed animal that's
dropped from Earth's stratosphere. I wonder why
they decided to do that. Well, it goes into it
a little bit here. Cool. To probably go where
no plushie has gone before, so. A British tech
company dropped a stuffed animal from the Earth's
stratosphere and are hoping they broke a world
record. So that's one reason right there. The
stunt was orchestrated by Raspberry Circle, an
app maker based in the UK. Okay. And plus she
landed intact in a tree in Windsor, Connecticut.
Raspberry CEO something Raoul said. So it didn't
burn up then? No, it did not. Raoul told the
Post that... Emmy was submitted to World Record
Certification Agency for the record of highest
altitude a plushie has reached aboard a high
-altitude balloon. That's awesome. It is, isn't
it? And that company was waiting to hear the
results. I would imagine that they probably got
it. It's just a formality. They got to go through
it all. I would think. It's Rampage documenting
Emmy's adventures. Emmy is the name of the plushie,
by the way. Has amassed more than 1 million followers,
and that would be another reason. Oh, yeah. And
has been seen by over 65 million people, according
to Instagram, which would be another reason you
would do that. Yep. Some observers speculated
Emmy may have been barbecued in her return trip,
like you were saying, and that's what I thought.
But no, she was not incinerated during the reentry
into Earth's atmosphere because of her low density
and slow maximum speed, according to Harvard.
Physicist Avi Loeb. Oh, that's true. There's
only so fast you can fall before wind resistance
slows you down. It's like you can throw an ant
off the Empire State Building, and he'll just
drift down, land on the ground, and crawl away.
And crawl away, yeah. He doesn't weigh enough
to fall fast. No. Nope, and that's pretty much
the same here, too, is it didn't weigh enough
to gather that much friction to burst into flames.
That's pretty cool that they could find it. It
is. Dropping from that height, you really can't
tell exactly where it's going to land. Yeah.
Not like it's a guided teddy bear. No. Little
fins on it and maneuvering. A little maneuvering
and all that shit. More jets. There's a lot of
traffic going into downtown airport, a lot more
than I ever thought. Yeah, a lot of business
jets. Something must be coming up. I guess so.
Maybe it's this place. Maybe people are coming
to town for this. I wouldn't be surprised. They
heard that the very first podcast from the Rock
Island Bridge was happening today. Yeah, they
could not wait to get here. They're all in line,
though. We told them all the way we have to get
here. I guess we'll be signing autographs for
a while. Yeah, yeah. I told them I only do it
in blood. They were a little weary, but they
agreed to it. Now, I didn't tell them it was
their blood. Oh, that's a good point. That could
be the sticking point right there. That is a
good point, yeah. But, anyhow, you got something
or you want me to keep going with something?
I don't know. I've got a story about little bitty
holes drilled in the bottom of the ocean. I am
familiar and, yeah, please. This is weird. At
a depth of 2 ,540 meters. Along the Mid -Atlantic
Ridge. Now, this is 1 .6 miles down, about 2
,800 yards. This is like two -thirds of the way
towards how deep the Titanic is. Yeah, it's black.
To give a good reference, the continental shell,
you can actually reach the bottom of it. The
bottom of the ocean, where there's no shell,
It's just almost limitless how deep it is. At
this point, excuse me, at 2 ,500 meters, the
pressure of the water down there is 255 times
greater than the pressure at the surface. Isn't
that, yeah. So here on the surface, we're experiencing
15 pounds of pressure per square inch on our
body. Yeah. Down there, it would be 3 ,750 pounds
per square inch. Yes. Almost two tons on every
square inch of your body. Yeah. Flattened in
a heartbeat. Anyway. Wow. Massive pressures.
If you ever want to know what happened to that
submarine. Yeah. Yeah. So anywhere, they were
looking down there. They put a remotely operated
vehicle that can go down with lights and take
a look. National oceanographic specialists found
rows of perfectly aligned holes on the ocean
floor, each surrounded by a small mound of sediment.
The pattern is so precise that it appears artificial,
but to this day, no one knows what created them.
Wow. During a scientific expedition in 2022,
they found these tiny holes, and they appear
to have been systematically excavated. Each hole
is only a few centimeters in diameter, so maybe
an inch. and surrounded by a small mound of sediment
as if something had removed the material from
within and piled it up around the outside. Oh,
wow. Even more intriguing was the fact that these
holes appeared arranged in almost straight lines,
separated by relatively regular intervals. I
mean, it doesn't look like it was laid out with
a ruler, but it's definitely not random, definitely
not an accident. I mean, this is like a grid.
I've seen the pictures. It's pretty amazing.
No, I have too. And it's hard to fathom. What
could have done that? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Anyhow,
go ahead. It says each hole exhibits similar
characteristics. The diameter is a few centimeters.
It has well -defined edges in the sediment, small
mounds of material around, uniform spacing between
the holes. This characteristic suggests that
the holes may have been excavated by some specific
organism or process rather than resulting from
natural erosion. It's kind of hard when you see
it, though, to believe that. It is just too organized
and too symmetrical. Yeah. One of the most discussed
possibilities involves burrowing organisms of
the seabed. Many species of animals that live
in deep environments, such as marine worms and
crustaceans or benthic fish, can burrow into
the sediments in search of food or shelter. But
they don't burrow in regular grid patterns. Yeah.
There is also the possibility that these holes
are related to geological processes or release
of gases trapped in the sediment. But again,
why would they do it in such a regimented grid
pattern? Yeah, it doesn't make sense why they
would do it, but go ahead. And they have actually,
with the remotely operated vehicle, tried to
get samples of sediment, but they can't actually
get sediment from around the holes because it's
too hard and compacted. So they can get sediment
from a little farther away, but that's really
not telling them what they need to know. So,
odd little holes way down there in the bottom
of the ocean in the pitch black. And I don't
know if they're ever going to figure out what
that is either. I think they would have to catch
something or somebody making those holes. Yeah,
but how could it be somebody when it is way down
there? It takes millions of dollars in equipment
and money just to get down there. Yeah. Why would
anything or anybody go down there and make these
random holes and go away? Oh, yeah. Well, let's
face it. We don't know what's down there. There's
no possible way we could. I mean, like I was
talking about, I mean, you do make it down. There's
pitch black. You can't see anything anyhow. It's
so far down, there's no sunlight, nothing. Yeah.
Maybe Aquaman's down there drilling holes. I
think he is. He is, yeah. Yeah, I hear he's going
to open up the Strait of Hormuz. Yeah. Yeah.
He's going to work with the mermaids. Yeah, yeah,
yep, they're right now. They're right now coming
up with a plan. Yeah, so we actually got to use
Aquaman for something. Yeah. Besides gay jokes.
Oh, gosh. Think of poor Aquaman. He swims around
all day in fish pee. I know, yeah. I'd be mad,
too. And his own, I mean. It's not like he goes
up on dry land to go pee. He pees wherever he
is. He's the laughingstock of all superheroes,
too. Definitely. It's kind of like, do you want
me to bring Aquaman? Why? I'm sorry. I forgot.
Okay. I mean, even the Submariner was much tougher
than Aquaman. He even looked mean. Aquaman, not
so much. Unless it's Jason Momoa Aquaman, then
that's kind of reasonable. Yeah. Yeah. But still.
He talked to fish. Yeah, I know, I know. Yeah,
yeah, it's like, go get him, you carp. Oh, no,
don't nudge me up with your big, bad carp there.
Oh, my God, look, he's sucking on my toe. Get
him out of here. It just really doesn't sound
about that threatening, does it? No, it doesn't,
no. No, if he, like, had a bunch of great white
sharks, man, we might be talking. Well, yeah,
true. Yeah, but, I mean, riding a whale, you
know, people are just like, oh, okay, cool. Whales
are cute. Yeah, yeah, Aquaman, look at him. It's
really weird that he doesn't have a tan for being
in the ocean all the time. This is true. He's
awfully white, yeah. I wonder if his skin will
prune up when he's in the water for a long time.
You would think so. He's awful light -skinned.
I mean, you know? He would look like he would
be in northern parts, like Nordic or something,
but no. Well, I guess if he's in salt water,
your skin doesn't prune up. Oh, you know what?
You're right. Because if it's in fresh water...
Your skin prunes up because your skin is absorbing
the fresh water into the saltier tissues of your
skin. So it's not like water's coming out of
your fingers. It's going in and making ridges.
That's true. But in ocean water, ocean water
is pretty much the same saltiness as the inside
of our bodies is. So it doesn't do it. Yeah.
Well, you know. No pruning. Yeah. No pruning.
I just, I still wonder about the tan, though.
I mean, he's usually riding on fish, not under
the water, so why doesn't he have a better tan?
You would think so, yeah. He'd have hellacious
tan lines. Yes, he would. The problem is, I hear
he goes around showing them in awkward places.
Now, is Aquaman the kind of guy who has a secret
identity, or is he Aquaman all the time? You
know, I think he's Aquaman all the time. I've
never seen, like, Clark... You know, like Clark
Kent or something, or Bruce Wayne. You know,
his name would be like, I don't know. He looks
like a Jeffy, doesn't he? Yeah. Yeah, Jeffy Molenberg.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Jeffy Molenberg. That would
be his name. That would be, yeah. Yeah. He looks
like a Jeffy Molenberg. He doesn't look like
anything else. All right. Okay. All right. Hundreds
of teens flood Carolina Mall, disrupting traffic
and climb on cars. Ooh, not good? No, not at
all. Around 200 to 300 teens took over the streets
in Birkdale Village, a shopping district in Huntersville,
North Carolina, blocking cars, even dancing on
them when drivers tried to pass through. Wow.
Yeah, that old gag. The police have adopted drastic
measures to ensure teenagers do not take over
the streets again. Yeah, it's called a paddle.
It's called lethal force. Yes, it's called shoot
them. Gone are the days when street takeovers
were about underground car mod competitions or
drifting at intersections in the middle of the
night. The modern versions look more like hundreds
of people mobbing city streets and preventing
people from going about their business. Not to
forget potential damage to public and private
property, litter strewn throughout, violent clashes
with police, and multiple arrests. So these guys
are stupid. You know, they could get paid for
doing shit like this, but they're not. That's
true. They're just doing it for the hell of it.
Might as well get money. Motor Biscuit reported
the incident. Now, Motor Biscuit must be a website,
I guess. Reported the incident that occurred
in Birkdale Village early this month. The viral
video has highlighted the scale of the incident,
showing how hundreds of teens annoyed motorists
and climbed on the roofs of several vehicles.
Police Chief Brian Vaughn revealed that... No
assaults were reported during the street takeover.
Oh, so they're pussies, too. I guess so. Yep.
Come on, now. If you're going to do that, beat
someone up. Come on. At least one of the motorists
get out and say, you know, you just dented my
car. Yeah, yeah. Give me a couple of your teeth
as payment. Yeah. Here, this will do. Here, let
me rip out this earring. How much is this worth?
All right, now get on out of here, you little
scamp. Before things get stupid. All right. Speaking
to a large number of teens who arrived in the
shopping district, he said they were dropped
off via rideshare apps for surrounding counties.
All right. As a measure to prevent such street
takeovers that endanger the lives of the residents
and teens crowding the road, the Huntersville
Police Department has announced a special rule
for people age 17 or younger. The new rule, which
was brought into immediate effect, states that
any visitor under 18 must be accompanied by an
adult. After 6 p .m. And also, I forgot to tell,
starting today, the podcast tonight and the next
one that we do also, we are sponsored by All
Star Pest Solutions. And I'm going to have the
one Mr. Joe Cusick on speaking about what you
need to look for in these pests with springtime
right upon us. That's true. I've started seeing
ants. Yes, a lot of ants and a lot of other things.
And tonight we're going to be working on that
commercial briefly for a little bit, too. And
then we have another one coming up, but I cannot
talk about that yet. I still got to go over the
logistics with her about it. But I would say
our audience would probably maybe like this.
I would think so. But I'll get into that later.
And we're going to have her on the show speaking
about it. And also Joe, too, tonight. I'm going
to speak with Joe, and that would be All Star
Pest Solutions. And I don't have anything with
me. I'll have the number, everything. But I think
we're going to just start having his logo and
just, like, putting it on our table and saying
this is sponsored by All Star Pest Solutions.
That's a good idea. He's a good guy. Joe Cusick
owns it. He has a very unique story. I've known
him all my life. Good man. All right. I've got
a story about the days on Earth are getting slightly
longer. They tend to vary a little bit in length,
a little longer here, a little shorter there.
I forgot the reasoning. I read something. Go
ahead. They said there's a reason for them getting
longer, and I can't remember, but go ahead. I'm
sorry. But recently they discovered that our
days have gotten longer by roughly 1 .33 milliseconds
per century. Which doesn't sound like very much,
but it's actually the most rapidly that the Earth's
spin has slowed that has ever been recorded.
They refer to this phenomenon as continental
ocean mass redistribution. So in plain language,
that is, water is gathering at the equator. Oh,
okay, okay. So think of it like a figure skater
who is skating around and goes into a spin, and
then they draw their arms and legs in and spin
faster. and then they stick them out again and
they spin slower, that's what's happening with
the Earth. The more water builds up at the equator,
it slows the Earth down. So what they're talking
about is melt from polar ice sheets and mountain
glacier pools moves down into the Earth's oceans,
and extra water weight builds up in the wide
lower latitudes around the equator. It's like
having a big spare tire around your belly. And
that creates more drag on the Earth's spin. There
are all sorts of other things that also affect
the Earth's spin. The creation of many new enormous
water reservoirs, many of which are in a single
country, China. Okay. Which induces an out -of
-balance wobble to the Earth's rotation and slows
it down. Also, the continued movements of the
continental plates on the Earth's surface throws
it out of balance. The boiling in our planet's
molten core is not even. and symmetrical, atmospheric
pressure and wind, and the shifting orbit of
the moon. Right now, the moon is a pretty strong
influencer on making the days last a little longer
or a little less. And others are pointing out
that the lengthening day is more likely to be
the cause of climate change than it is climate
change causing the lengthening day. And the more
they go into this, the more they're finding out
that, like, a lot of the stuff that we think
we can change, we can't. No, the Earth's doing
its thing. Yes, yes. We haven't been here long
enough to determine shit is what it amounts to.
Yeah, yeah. So, I mean, but that would just give
somewhat of an explanation to, you know, that
they say, well, ocean levels are rising, but
then they show you pictures taken 200 years or
120 years ago. And the ocean's at the exact same
level it is now. Well, I guess what they're saying
is it's building up around the equator. Because
the ocean's level isn't even across the whole
planet. No, it can't be. No, it's higher in some
areas, lower in some areas. But they say if the
ocean level does rise at the equator to a significant
level, then it could surpass the moon as an influence
on the Earth's rotation. Right now, the moon
is a bigger influence than the... redistribution
of water so that would be the main reason the
earth is slowing down and and like the milliseconds
i i know it seems like nothing but it's also
like it's concerning too because uh not for us
of course but for people later down the road
because also they have at the same pace new york
is sinking yeah the city at almost the same pace
billet Why can't it be Los Angeles? What can
we do without that? Yeah, New York's... Yeah,
they're better than Los Angeles. I'm not fond
of either one of them. I did a lot of work in
New York, and to me, it's a tedious city. But,
anyhow, go ahead. I think that was it. I think
that's all I got. Oh, okay. Alright. I'm all
out of stuff on that one. How long have we got?
We've got an hour and 15. Okay, do you want to
keep going on this one, or do you want to go
into the music creeps? Let's just see if I've
got something on my music section that fits in
with this. I don't think I have. I think this
is all music. I've got something we could use
here, actually. I just found it. Okay. Well,
first off, the world mourns as they just found
out that it's been confirmed Robert De Niro does
not have laryngitis. I know. I got my hopes up.
Yeah. That's like those sad days when they discover
that Bruce Springsteen is still alive. I know.
It's tragic. Every time. It's tragic. Oh, I have
to go in the corner and collect my thoughts.
I'm like, he's still around. What a shame. Yeah,
what a waste of breath. But he still has those
shoes that he wears that have like four foot
on the bottom of them. Yeah, because he's like
four foot two naturally. Yeah. He is actually
some form of, he does have some kind of dwarfism,
but he just doesn't want to talk about it. And
he acts such. He acts such. Yeah. Yeah, he has
little man disease. It's like Danny DeVito. He
actually has a recognized form of dwarfism, but
he has never, ever advocated for his community.
No. Not once. No. In fact, he never even talks
about it or acknowledges it. I have a lot of
respect for DeVito. I have no respect for De
Niro. Yeah. Okay, all right. These are what would
you rather have or what would you rather it be?
Okay, how about spaghetti hair versus jelly bean
teeth? Let's say spaghetti. At least you can
eat food with regular teeth. Jelly bean teeth?
That would make life tough. It would. Okay, that
one I think was pretty easy. How about a duck
-sized horse or a horse -sized duck? I think
a duck -sized horse would be pretty cool. It
would be like a little dog. It would be cool.
Oh, yeah. Come here, Fido. Come here. Man, a
horse -sized duck would probably peck the snot
out of you. Oh, yeah. Oh, fuck. Let's get out
of here. Give me the bread and popcorn, you asshole.
No offense, Rob. No offense, Rob. All right.
How about constant hiccups versus unreachable
itch? Wow, those are both pretty bad. Yeah, they
are. I get the hiccups more often than I get
the uncontrollable itch. I do, too. I think I
can handle the hiccups a little bit better than
the uncontrollable itch that you can't get to.
Because, now, the thing I want to know is, can
you use a gimmick, you know, like a back scratch
or something? Because if you could use something
to help you to get to it, then I'd go for that.
Yeah. Or you can scratch up against a wall or
something. But otherwise, you know, the unreachable
itch, you just can't concentrate. That would
drive you crazy. Yeah, you can't think straight.
Yeah, it just drives you insane. The hiccups
just make you sound like a weirdo on the phone.
Yeah, and they're annoying, but they don't necessarily,
like, drive you nuts. Yeah. All right. How about
no eyebrows versus no eyelashes? I'm going to
go eyebrows. Yeah, I'd rather get my eyebrows
than my eyelashes. I can at least sleep with
eyelashes, you know. Without eyelashes, I think
you could probably still sleep, but it's going
to be weird. Yeah, all sorts of crap get in your
eyes without the lashes. Yeah, that's true. I
count on those. However, I am going to my eye
doctor because they have a new medicine out,
and they just found out about this not too long
ago, and it's eyelash mites. They're causing
most people the redness and itchy eyes. Here
we are going allergies. Parasites. They're parasites,
and their mating fluid is what makes you itch.
That makes sense. Yeah, so they're banging on
your eyelashes and giving you itchy eyes. Little
bastards are making porns on your fucking eyelash.
Yeah. Might orgies. Yeah. Sorry, Billy Eilish.
Eyelash. Eyelash. Oh, no, no, no. Wait. No, fucker.
We don't feel sorry for her. No, we don't. Dumb
bitch. Yeah. Let's see. What are they? Leftist
hypocrite. That's how she was described. Yep.
Yep. Yes, she is. As a matter of fact, I have
a hypocrite section on the show. Oh, nice. Yeah.
Long list of hypocrites. Yeah. But, I mean, we
didn't start to cover them. Yeah. But, you know,
I got, like, the top ten in there. So, all right.
Now, I have heard, speaking of eyes, I've heard
of a recent thing using eye drops that are made
from pig semen. Oh. And it's being used to treat
diseases because they're tapping into, like,
when the sperm are going for the egg, only one
of them get through and the rest are blocked
out. Mm -hmm. What they're going for is the ability
of sperm to get through a barrier like that to
deliver drugs into, like, a tumor. Oh! That has
a natural resistance. So it's nasty that it's
made out of pig semen, but that's going to help
it deliver the drugs into the tumor that is putting
a protective barrier around itself. So it's like
you're impregnating the tumor with... cancer
-killing drugs. How fucking brilliant. Isn't
it? It is. Wow. That's amazing. And the reason
they're using pig semen is because if they used
human semen, nobody would want it. Yeah, this
is true. But pig semen is fairly similar. It
is, yep. They want the properties, not necessarily.
Yeah, okay, it's okay. No, I was talking to the
echocardiogram, my annual echocardiogram this
morning. I was talking to her. The advances are
just insane in what they're doing. Yeah. All
right, so who knows? You guys may be in for maybe
another 30 years of this bullshit. Yeah. So there
you go. You can thank modern medicine. All right,
how about wearing one Halloween costume for a
year? Ooh. That's some dedication. Or explaining
Earth to aliens with three times... Yeah, yeah.
Let's see. Something cut off here. Let me try
to make sense of this. Okay, wear one Halloween
costume for a year. Explain and hurt the aliens
with three times... I don't understand. Three
items. Oh, shit. Okay, three items. Okay. Oh,
so you only have three things that you can show
to explain. Oh, I think I'd rather wear the Halloween
costume all year. You can always tell you lost
a bet. Yeah, you know, that's true. I mean, that
pretty much clears you for anything. You can
hop down the street with your pants around your
ankle and a duck on your head and say, yeah,
I lost a bet, and nobody would think anything
of it. That's true. Damn it, I didn't bring my
eyeglass cleaner. I couldn't see that very well
because I got a big smudge right here. You see
that fucking thing? I do. It's like having cataracts.
Yeah. Oh, well, all right. So, yeah, Halloween
costume. Okay, how about naming your life sitcom
or replacing your hands with kitchen utensils?
I think naming my life sitcom, I could find something
interesting. Yeah. I can't think of any kitchen
utensils that I would be okay with in place of
hands. No. Yeah. And anyhow, part of this is
left off, so I'm going to do the best I can with
this. Printers are starting to lead the wave
of rebellion against humans, aren't they? Oh,
my printer does whatever the hell it wants. And
then I tried to print something from my phone,
and then it's trying to tell me that I wasn't
on the Wi -Fi when I was. It's just insane. Yeah,
mine was trying to tell me that my laptop couldn't
communicate with the Wi -Fi. So I set my laptop
directly on top of the router and it still said,
weak signal, move it closer. I don't know how
much closer you could have moved that. I think
that's just one of those pre -programmed excuses
when they don't really want to tell you what's
really going on. It's like, oh, well, let's just
convince them that this is what's happening.
I think what happened on that was it became a
versus, versus, versus. But then after that,
I think it parlayed into... Odd things that could
happen to you. Because I had two articles, and
I don't know what it did. So, anyhow. Alright,
do you want to keep going? Or you got something
you want to keep going on this? Or you want to
do music creeps? Oh, let's move on to the music
creepies. Okay, alright. Well, hey, everybody.
New location. Same fantastic broadcast as always.
So we appreciate you guys listening. And like
always, thank you all for listening so very much.
And go fuck yourself.