You are listening to Two Douchebags in Microphone,
alternate universe edition. The alternate douchebags
pledge. Turn up the show and scream obscenities
while flapping your arms like a chicken. That's
it. We keep it simple in this universe. Three,
two, one, and go. Two douchebags and a microphone?
We don't stand behind our journalistic integrity.
Go ahead and assume we got the story wrong. At
least we admit it. Not like all those other guys,
we can and will lie if it makes the story better.
Two douchebags and a microphone? Says ouch. before
the needle touches him. Needs a pep talk a minute
of silence before sending an email. Orders mild
salsa and still sweats like he just ran a marathon.
Looks at WebMD after sneezing. Needs a jacket
when it's 75 degrees outside. Apologizes to furniture
after bumping into it. is exhausted after boiling
water. This is your douchebag gangbang question
of the week. Do you tip to go orders? Email us
your answers at twodouches at mail .com. Spell
out the number two. Don't be a dummy. Good evening,
friends and neighbors. I'm going to read to you
a list of hypocrites. Self -righteous assholes
that want to tell you what you're doing wrong,
but will not address this for themselves. One
newer issue among these dollards. is the stolen
land gimmick. They tell us we need to give up
the land back, but when they were confronted,
they offered nothing. Therefore, hypocrites and
liars. Alyssa Milano, hypocrite and a liar. Mark
Ruffalo, hypocrite and a liar. Jane Fonda, longtime
hypocrite, liar. Elizabeth Warren, longtime idiot,
liar, hypocrite. Leonardo DiCaprio. Your name
might be on a list somewhere that just came out.
I don't know. Possibly. Maybe you need to shut
your mouth. Yeah, you probably do. Billy Eilish.
Liar. Ben and Jerry. Liars. We go on for another
hour, but you get the point. I once again present
to you the You First Movement. This is when you
mouth off about stolen land or anything else.
You go first. You live on stolen land. You give
your land back. But until this happens, shut
the fuck up. Out. Hi, all. This is Chicago. I
am the most dangerous city in North America.
You can't touch me. Oh, yeah? This is Kansas
City here. Hold my beer, bitch. Hey, my fellow
heavy breathers. This is Dash Riptide. Your music
news. Metal band Slayer. Fans unite. Your boys.
and Slayer have a new hot sauce named Rain and
Blood. This sauce's heat meter is off the hook.
So use with caution or be a dick and put it on
your buddy's sandwich. Maybe not. This is Gash
Riptine and that was your music news. If it's
too loud, you probably have ear damage just like
me. This is Joshua Belmont, your food for thought
man on the hustle. Today, we need to focus on
the genius Franklin Harris for inventing the
jukebox override. Some dumbass puts down a hundred
on the Melvins to last all night. No worry, thanks
to Mr. Harris. Just put in a buck a song to override
shitty music and you can be the hero. Mr. Harris,
not many stop to admire your fine work, but we
do here at Two Douchebags and a Microphone. Thank
you, Mr. Harris, for being a patriotic, great
human being. Swimming in toxic masculinity and
wiping their ass with politically correct wash
rags. Two Douchebags and a Microphone invade
your ear holes in three, two, one. Let's see
what we're getting. I think it's coming pretty
well through the headphones. How about you? Oh,
hang on. Excuse me. Hello. Did you guys have
to close the door for a minute? Yes, yes it is.
Yeah, we're going to be here for a few hours.
It's just kind of cold. If it works out for you,
it would be nice to close it. I can open it for
an hour or an hour and a half. Let's try to have
it open. No, I understand. Just leave it the
way it is. That's fine. I'm sorry. No, no, you're
good. I can't do it inside of my store. I don't
mind. Well, we might move in there. I appreciate
that. Take one of that and sit and do whatever
you want. I appreciate it. Sure. Wow, that's
a good idea. If it gets too cold, do it. All
right. Okay. He said if it gets too cold, we
can move into his store, sit back in the corner
and do our podcast. Oh, that's cool. Yeah. All
right. Very nice of him. Remember that padlock
you put on? Oh, yeah. It's still there, isn't
it? It's still there? Oops. Everybody around
here is very nice. Yeah, we love this place.
Okay, that is music. I got us something a little
different this morning. I got us loaded fries
with shaved prime rib. And then, of course, the
regular fried pickles. Really can't do without
that. I never used to like fried pickles, but,
man, they're awesome. Oh, they're fucking good.
I was testing levels, but I've already got an
hour, I mean a minute and 30 seconds of just
us yakking. Should we leave that in? Just leave
it in. All right, we're just going to leave it
in. Okay. Yeah. We turn the gain down just a
hair so we don't clip anything. In case anyone's
wondering, this is the Two Douchebags Microphone
Alternate Universe. Hey, if every science fiction
show in the world can use Alternate Universe,
we can use it too. Yes, yep. But we're not copying
because this is a podcast. Yes, indeed. We are
the first podcast to have an alternate universe.
And I think we were the first to do an international
podcast where we were in different countries.
Yes, yes. And I think we're the first to do a
podcast within a podcast. Yes, yeah. We have
a lot of firsts here. Yeah, yeah. Take that,
two fucknuts and a recorder. Oh, yeah, yeah,
yeah. Yeah, yeah. We only changed our name because
we didn't want to be associated with you guys.
Yeah, yeah. And as we always say, the rumors
are true. Yes, it is. The rumors you've heard
are true. Oh, right here, wherever. Sorry about
that. Thank you very much. All right. So we're
getting our foods on. That looks like cheese
on the fries. I might have to avoid that. Oh,
fuck. That's all right. Yeah, sorry. I'm just
the parasite that sponges off your food. Well,
you know what? I should have read the description
a little bit better. I will let you have the
majority of those then, of the fried pickles.
Oh, I appreciate it. Yep. But I got to have a
couple. Yeah, definitely. They're so good. Oh,
they are. So, what are we going to talk about
first? Because I got NFL. Since we still do the
sports bastards, but, you know, we do the alternate
universe this time of year because of lack of
information and stuff going on. Yeah. Okay. I
have some 2026. NFL season opener information
they put out last night. Good. Okay. The 2026
season will officially kick off on Wednesday,
September 9th. Mm -hmm. 2026, featuring the defending
Super Bowl champion Seattle Seahawks at home,
marking a rare Wednesday start. Oh. Yeah. Must
be something going on Thursday. I guess. It does
not say, is the thing. The matchup will air on
NBC and Peacock at 820. The schedule change facilitates
a special week one, oh, a week one international
game in Melbourne, Australia. Oh. So, and nobody
knows who that team is, so that's going to be
over there. So. It's funny, they're on the other
side of the international date line, so when
they start playing the game, it'll be a different
day than us watching the game. Oh, I know, and
that's probably why they're doing it like that.
So, the 2026 season marks a part of a massive
international expansion with nine games planned
across four countries in week one. Wow. So, they're
really going for that international. They definitely
are. And I remember reading that one of the things
they want to go for is 16 international games
a season is what they're going for. They're going
to kill the players. Oh, God, yes. Adding extra
games, and now they have to go overseas. Mm -hmm.
Mm. If they do it as a residency, it's like,
okay, Cleveland Browns, go do a three -week residency
in Madrid. Didn't they do that to the Jaguars
last year? Yeah, they played two games. Yeah,
two games. But I think that would be a good idea,
except... The NFL wants every team to play an
international game. That's what the problem is.
Yeah. I don't know. Pretty aggressive, but, I
mean, I don't know. So far, everything they've
done seems to be working out pretty well. They
definitely have a plan, and that's definitely
something that they take into account when they're
vetting new owners. Uh -huh. Because they've
got plans for next year. Five years from now,
ten years from now. So any new owners coming
in have to be on board with the plans that are
already in motion. Oh, yeah. They're not changing
it for anybody now. Okay. Another thing slightly
different. I applaud Delta Airlines. Huh? You
know why? Why? They have suspended special services
for all of Congress. Nice. Delta idiots opened
up the government again. Yep. So. That's going
to be a good thing because they're not giving
preferential treatment. They've got to wait in
lines like everybody else for Delta. They're
our employees. They should wait in line with
us. Oh, yeah. Yeah, absolutely. As a matter of
fact, they should not be getting paid right now.
Nope. Them getting paid is atrocious. Yeah. This
shows how much they care about us. Oh, no, they
don't. They don't. Yeah. Well, good for Delta.
Yeah, and if anyone has a problem with Trump
being in office, I can tell you this, and I'm
not saying pro or against, okay? You're the one
that caused this. By accepting the government
we have is the reason we get someone. Yeah, collectively
as Americans, a voting ability, it's on us. Because
we could get a different government if we just
chose to. But we all have to work together and
figure out what we want and quit letting them
tell us. So, people opt to go for something different.
They're like, you know what? What we're doing,
we're getting fucking fleece blind. So, let's
try something different. So, Delta, thank you.
You guys have earned my respect on that one.
So, you got something you want to go into? Keeping
with the NFL, let me find where I put it in my
list here. The NFL is deciding that they're all
in on an 18 -game season. It's being fast -tracked,
basically. I believe that. It may be as early
as next season, 2027. It would add a second bye
week to the season. Okay. So you've got an extra
game and an extra bye week. The whole season
would be two weeks longer. Okay, so it's going
to start earlier. And like I said before, remember
how I said, the NBA championship will just end
and you'll have preseason starting right, mini
camp preseason starting right then. Yeah. And
it kind of makes sense to put more of your season
in the nice weather and pull it back from the
frigid temperatures in December and January.
The fans would appreciate it. Yep. The networks
that are Trying to broadcast the games would
appreciate it. The players would appreciate it.
The bookies would appreciate it, so they wouldn't
have to take the weather into account so much.
So true. Yeah. Well, and also, all of the cold
games are going to be gone in another few years
because we're going to dome stadiums. The Chiefs
are, Buffalo is, all these teams that traditionally
had an edge up in their stadiums because of loudness,
cold, all that. Yeah. are losing that and i don't
understand it i don't understand that i'm not
really sure either but unless i i hope they at
least go to the stadiums that you can open the
roof or close the roof but the ones that are
just permanently closed like like new orleans
that's just awful well i don't know if the chiefs
are doing that i i have not read anything about
a retractable roof because i wish they would
well at this point The Chief Stadium has not
even, I mean, they're not anywhere near to finalizing
the design on that, so anything could go there.
So they could do it, okay. Another thing they're
talking about doing to make the 18 -game season
work is capping the players at 17 games. Oh.
So every player will have to sit out at least
one game as a healthy stretch. See, I like that
idea a lot. But I bet they will have an exception
for quarterbacks and other key players. Of course.
Yeah. I'd like that. I do too. Okay. You know,
think baseball. Your pitcher doesn't pitch every
single game. He rotates. NFL can do that. They
just don't want to. They don't want to. They
don't want to. No, and that makes sense too.
You don't want Lamar Jackson. You don't want
Patrick Mahomes out of the last game or whatever,
you know, the extra game. Well, in keeping with
the NFL, I was watching this morning on the NFL
Network, which is, of course, now owned by ESPN.
They actually had a game show that was pretty
fun. It was called Which Jalen? Because there
are so many players in the league right now whose
first name is Jalen that they were quizzing the
players, and they were showing them a darkened
silhouette of the player. giving you three clues
as to who the player was. And then to win, you
had to guess the player's name and how to spell
Jalen because there's like 12 different spellings
within the NFL of the name Jalen. I love that.
It was actually pretty funny. But something else
I saw was they were talking about the possibility
of Max Crosby being traded to the Cowboys. Now,
that would make sense for the Cowboys because
they lost Michael Parsons last year. It seems
like a decent fit for Max Crosby. It'd be a step
up. I mean, not much, but you know. There are
a number of sources saying, yeah, but the Cowboys
aren't interested. They're not going to do it.
But of course, that's very likely a smokescreen.
But I started thinking it would take Jerry Jones
making a smart and reasonable football personnel
decision. And he doesn't make very many of those.
It's few and far between that he makes a smart,
reasonable personnel decision. No, he trades
Micah Parsons on a whim and doesn't tell anybody.
Yeah. So I think if it does happen, it will be
despite Jerry Jones. If it doesn't happen, it'll
be because Jerry Jones. Yes, I agree. Yeah. But
either way, I'm starting to feel like the Cowboys
and the Giants are going to be slugging it out
for that division next year. I think you're right.
Will, you know, there's something going on with
Max Crosby. I know people are saying that it's
bullshit that Baltimore backed out of it, and
probably so. But if he was that desirable...
They would have done it anyhow. Yeah. And the
excuse I've heard most often is with Crosby,
it was a trade. They'd have to give up something.
With Hendrickson, he was a free agent. All they
had to do was sign him. Which, you know, makes
sense. But it's still a crappy thing to do to
Max Crosby, especially labeling him with he failed
his physical, which could damage his reputation
among other teams. It makes me wonder if there's
like some shred of truth to it. It could be.
It could be. I mean, he has had leg injuries.
So it's reasonable. But I think most teams are
like, yeah, we know you just wanted out of the
deal. Yeah, yeah. And I think it was exploited,
yes. But, I mean, the fact that a bunch of teams
didn't just jump in line to get him I found very
surprising. Yes. And it's not like they're asking
for anything that crazy for him. Yeah, yeah.
That's a point that they're really not talking
about is nobody else is pursuing him that we
know of. Yeah. It's odd. Mm -hmm. It would be
really strange to see Max Crosby playing for
the Raiders next year and see what his attitude
might be. Couldn't be too good, you would think.
Yeah. I mean, he's a quality player, quality
guy. He'll probably make the honest effort, but
really, if you know the team is trying to move
you, how motivated do you really feel to put
it all on the line for that team? Well, when
does his contract end? Because then I can tell
you a little bit more. I'm not sure about that.
If he's buying for a new contract, you're going
to see him play his ass off. Yeah, true. But
if not, then, I mean, you know, feelings can't
really help it. But if you think someone's trying
to edge you out and, you know, and you're like
going, well, why should I do anything for these
guys? They don't want me here anyhow. Yeah. Yeah.
But another interesting thing I saw on the feed
this morning. was how they did the mock drafts.
Up until recently, they've shown the Chiefs at
the number nine pick more often than not drafting
running back Jeremiah Love out of Notre Dame,
which is way too high a pick to spend on a running
back. We've proven that. Yes. And now that the
Chiefs have Kenneth Walker instead at that number
nine pick, I've seen mock drafts saying either
the Chiefs take an edge rusher or the Chiefs
trade out of that pick, trading with the Jets.
And I started thinking, wow, maybe that was a
secret clause for the Justin Fields trade is
when draft day comes, you'll trade out of that
pick with us if we want to. They trade really
well with the Jets. Yeah, they do. But I wouldn't
be surprised if that was a leftover clause from
the Justin Fields deal. That wouldn't surprise
me either. Yeah. Yeah. But the weird thing about
Jeremiah Love is now that they don't have the
Chiefs picking him at number nine, some mock
drafts have him dropping out of the first round
altogether, which tells me he never was a first
-round draft choice. Legitimately, they were
just putting him there because, whatever their
reason. And some other mock drafts show teams
who didn't take him. ahead of the Chiefs at number
nine, suddenly now wanting him at number four
or number five. It's like, no. I don't believe
that. What has changed to make them suddenly
want this player more? No, they could always
have drafted him ahead of the Chiefs. Why suddenly
now? Or is it now? Again, they're just trying
to tell us what we want to hear, so we get all
excited. Yeah, exactly. They're trying to create
buzz. And the whole Jeremiah Love thing, I have
no idea if it's ever true. Were they ever looking
at him? Probably. Yeah, you mentioned that on
the way down here. I hadn't thought about that.
Yeah, but probably they never were interested
in Jeremiah Love, but they were just letting
everyone believe that. I think if they were interested
in him, they would not have traded him. I mean,
you know, on draft, you fall in love with that
guy. Yeah. Right? You're like, oh, this is the
guy we need. Yeah. So, I don't know. It's going
to be interesting to see what actually really
happens. We've got a few more weeks. I would
not be all that upset if they traded down enough
to get the tight end out of Oregon. I wouldn't
either. I wouldn't either. I'm not sure how you
pronounce his last name, S -A -D -I -Q. I haven't
heard it enough and I'm familiar enough to tell
you how it's pronounced, but yeah. I wouldn't
mind doing that either. No, I think that would
be a better choice for late first round, early
second round. I think so too. I think so too
because right now I don't see an urgent, unless
there's a D lineman in there that I'm unaware
of that they have their eyes on. I think a really
good D lineman would definitely get their interest.
Yeah. And I think there are a number of other
teams that seem to be interested in drafting
that tight end. So he may not last long enough
for the Chiefs to get him, but that happens every
year. So you make plans to work around that.
No big deal. And an edge rusher specifically.
Yeah. As long as we're talking about the draft,
apart from quarterback, what do you think is
the most difficult position to draft and get
right? Okay. Let me think. Where do people swing
and miss all the time besides a quarterback?
I'm thinking pass rusher. Pass rusher. And wide
receiver. I think pass rusher next and then wide
receiver close. Yeah. Yeah. And then maybe O
-lineman. O -lineman too, yeah. There's been
a lot of. I mean, I don't call the players a
bust because they have no control over where
they get drafted. But I would say as far as the
team goes, it's a wasted pick on a lot of offensive
linemen because they just pick poorly. It's never
the player's fault, how it turns out. It was
always the team's fault for drafting them that
early and thinking there was more there than
there was. Yeah, true, true. But, you know, then
there are the players that just don't even try.
There was one player that, on his way to training
camp, kidnapped somebody and held him for ransom.
I forgot who that was. That was sometime back
in the 60s. I can't remember who that was. It's
like, why not rob a bank while you're at it?
What was it? The X Factor or Superfan or whatever,
the Chiefs? Guy who dressed up, he turns out
he was a bank robber. Oh, my God. What was he,
super fan or something? Yeah, I think he was
a super fan. Yeah. He was affording those good
tickets because he was robbing banks. Stupid
ass. He was going to be robbing a lot more banks
when they go to the new one, didn't he? Yeah,
really. All right, let's see. I also have a story.
Oh, are you done or you got more? Yeah, I think
that's about it. I don't think any other positions
are really all that commonly blown. Cornerbacks,
usually if you think you've got a good one and
you watch them, usually you do have a good one
or at least someone that's going to be playing.
Yeah, I think corner in college football really
gets a chance to show what they're capable of.
Yeah. We've got a leaf blower going here. It'll
be on and off, so y 'all just ignore it. Yeah,
true. Running backs. I mean, you know, there's
so much involved in that, and I'm not going to
go there because most of the good ones are found
in the third round anyhow. This is true. This
is true. Now, if you drop one in the first round,
that's on you with the puck. Yeah. I mean, unless
you have that Travis Henry, Jonathan Taylor,
someone that's like a real, real clear -cut difference
maker. Yeah. Yeah. Not worth a first -round pick.
Usually you're not, no. Occasionally, if a running
back gets drafted and he turns out to be phenomenal,
occasionally a team will trade a late first -round
pick to get him, but then they want something
else in return, too. Yeah, you're going to have
to send him a fourth -rounder or some shit or
something, yeah. But in order to spend a first
-round pick, you really want the... the proof
of what the player is all about and what he can
do. No quantity is tough to waste a first -round
draft pick on anymore. Oh, yeah. Well, people
started, well, it seems to me like franchises
started taking a little bit more value in their
draft picks than they used to. Yeah. I mean,
remember when, was it Mike Dick and I forgot
the other guy, or was he the GM and the head
coach in New Orleans? Yeah, I think he was both.
He traded all his rounds for Ricky Williams.
Yep. And the NFL was furious about it, but there
was nothing they could do to stop it. The next
season there sure was. They passed a rule that
said, no, you can't do that. Anything that excessive
has to be approved to the league office first.
Yeah, and that was insane because there wasn't
a reason for it. No. There was no evidence to
show that he was that great a running back to
trade for him and to get up all those picks.
And who was it? Was that Minnesota that gave
him up? Yeah, I think so. Yeah, they did nothing
with the picks, but, you know. But, yeah, that
really – it could have severely unbalanced the
league, which would just piss the NFL League
office right off. Had to be a Saints fan when
you saw that. Yeah. Oh. Yeah. Well, maybe Ditka
knew that, you know, it was all or nothing this
season and his ass was gone if he didn't. do
something. His undercoat, his ass was gone. It
was, yeah. Ditka did okay in Buffalo because
it was the exact right fit for him. But you put
him in New Orleans and he showed that he really
didn't know what to do. Yeah, yeah. And in Chicago,
I mean, yeah, he was behind that big, the great
defense and all that stuff. But, I mean, he also
had a general manager behind him too. I mean,
yeah. He is a great coach. He did win a Super
Bowl, but still. Yeah. All right. I've got one
more thing, and then we'll go to this a little
bit later. Okay. Bullet points? Let's do some
bullet points. Okay. What is the future of TV
as we know it? Ooh. I think more and more programming
is going to be the stuff that you really don't
have to pay much attention to. So all the big
blockbuster movies and series that you do pay
attention to, like Breaking Bad or Game of Thrones
or whatever, those are just going to move to
the streaming services. I agree. I think any
kind of decent quality entertainment is going
to move to streaming. And what you're going to
get over broadcast is going to be... Well, right
now, if you look on a streaming service, a 30
-minute TV show, when you cut the commercials
out, is actually about 19 minutes. And that includes
the opening credits and the ending credits. Yeah,
that's everything. So you're approaching half
commercials and half show. I think it's going
to go well beyond that point. Oh, I think so,
too. You're going to get meaningless entertainment
like The Real Housewives of whatever. Yeah, stuff
that costs nothing to produce. two -thirds to
three -quarters advertisement, and it's going
to have the bottom third of the screen running
advertisements constantly as an overlay. And
you can always pay for the premium service. Yes,
but there are so many people that would sign
right up for that and don't care because commercials
don't bother them at all. It's like, I don't
care. All right, that's the way TV is going to
go. That's why I go get my ranch dip and chips
or whatever. Yeah, true. Well, also, I agree
with that 100%. I think it's going to be pieced
together forever because I don't think that you're
– there's so many acquisitions and sales and
all that that I don't think they're ever going
to consolidate everything like a cable does.
Yeah. Now, things might get different when they
eventually squeeze the broadcast over the air
channels off. Because those wavelengths being
used for over -the -air broadcast of TV signals
are way too valuable to just spend on TV. Right
now, the TV networks are able to pay enough to
keep them viable. But that's not going to...
No. It's like the KC Star. One time, that newspaper
was very wealthy and very powerful and could
do all sorts of stuff. Now it's nothing. Yeah,
now it's not worth any advertising at all. People
are not going to pay for that form of advertisement
because it's simply not that popular. And I think
TV networks are going to get to the point where
every single one of them is just a crappy little
nickel and dime outfit. And the government's
going to say, you can't pay us enough to use
all these wavelengths. We're taking them from
you, and all of you are going to have to go onto
cable now. I see that happening, and I see that
happening in the next five to ten years easily.
Yeah, and I think radio's not far behind, because
right now the only reason that cars come with
AM and FM radios is because they're required
to by law because of the emergency broadcasting
service and emergency alerts. Remember, they
took away AM, but then they had to put it back.
Yep. A lot of car manufacturers... took off am
said well nobody's listening to it you know like
i got a great for instance well now i can listen
to um a10 whb on 1037 yeah they actually bought
a signal from cumulus or rented not bought ready
to signal an fm signal so i listened to them
on there but before that instead of dealing with
am i went to the internet yeah i would go on
the internet and pick up their channel and blow
it through my bluetooth in the car sounds so
much better that way yeah it was perfect yeah
so Yeah, the sound quality limitations of AM
radios, they've never been able to get past.
And that's also when I realized that the internet
feed has different commercials than the FM feed.
Yes, it sure does. But I can see car manufacturers
eventually being able to put a dedicated emergency
broadcast device in your car instead of a radio.
Well, for instance, I think it was Rossington.
One of our really good listeners sent in an email
for the Douchebag Gangbang show and said that
they're having bad weather down there in Dallas
and that they kept running it over our program.
And he thought, well, I don't know if he thought
we were doing it. He wanted us to know. And it's
like, well, that's your phone. You're not going
to get away from that. Yeah, unless you're in
airplane mode. Yeah. In which case you have to
download the podcast and play it from memory.
And then play, yeah. And that's actually a good
way. You know those little games you play and
they run a million ads between, like, Solitaire
or whatever? Put your phone in airplane mode
and it can't download all those ads. Of course,
you've got to remember to take it out of airplane
mode or you'll never get a call. Yeah, that's
true. And you know what? I don't necessarily
give a shit most of the times anyhow. Yeah. Most
of the calls I get are bullshit. Yeah. This guy
Scam Likely keeps calling me. Yeah, same here.
Is he related to that white receiver named Likely?
He is. The one who put his toe over the line,
didn't wear white shoes? Yeah, but still wears
black shoes. Yeah. So his brother, Scam, keeps
calling me because the phone says, hey, his name
is Scam Likely. Yeah, and also the inventor of
Spam, the pork whatever. The actual meat product.
Yeah, yeah. He keeps calling me too. Yeah. He's
got an odd first name though, Potential. Oh,
yeah. I wonder if that's like, I don't know,
Bulgarian. I think it is. I looked it up. The
origin I do believe is Bulgarian. Yeah. Yeah,
potential. Maybe Hungarian, but something in
the Aryan. Something like that. Don't say Aryan.
Oh, wait a minute. Yeah, that's bad. That's bad.
Yeah, let's say something in the Garian. Garian.
There we go. The Garian countries. Then you have
the Ikistan countries. Yeah, the Ikistans. Yeah,
yeah. It must mean something. I'm sure it does.
Yeah, it's like there's so many cities over here
that end in the word city. And people from other
countries are like, what the hell does C -I -T
-Y mean and why do they use it in other countries'
city names? Why are they using it all the time?
I'm sure it's something just like that. Because
they didn't teach us much language skills in
high school. No. Because they don't want us to
know. They never gave us the why we're doing
it. They just told you this is the way we do
it. You can learn Spanish or you can hear French.
Yeah. Well, what if I want to learn something
else? No. Yep, pretty much. I wound up taking
three years of French. I wish I'd taken three
years of Spanish. I could actually use that.
You could use Spanish? I could have used that
all the time when I was delivering mail. I don't
remember a single French person on the route,
but there were a lot of people speaking Spanish.
Also, you can actually figure out what they're
saying about you too, which is really valuable
sometimes. Yeah. All right. Will movie theaters
become obsolete? Yeah, they pretty much have,
haven't they? Yeah. I can see some being turned
into live event venues, but I really don't know
if that's going to pay the rent. I don't think
so. For instance, the B &B Theater downtown,
the old Alamo Drafthouse, which went under too,
they're closing down. Not B &B, but I'm probably
close to, but I mean, not yet. But the one downtown's
gone. Yep. COVID really did a number on that.
It's not because it changed everyone from like,
oh, I don't want to go into theater because I'll
get infected. It made people realize that they
can get that same entertainment without going
to the movie theater and spending all that money.
And that's what people are doing. Yeah. Is they
learn they can live without theater releases.
And also, everybody has a 70 -inch TV. Yeah.
And the great surround sound. And the great surround
sound. Or good headphones and earbuds. It's like,
yeah, you don't need to go there and sit in a
stinky seat with a sticky floor eating $15 popcorn.
Yeah. And sitting through 20 minutes of commercials
before the movie comes on. And that's one of
the things, too, is people would buy the stuff
there if they were reasonable. But it's not reasonable.
It is so overpriced that people are like, you
know, I would love to, like, help keep you guys
going, but I'm not paying $15 for a bag of popcorn.
Yeah. You know, this is excessive. Yeah. It's
like the food at the stadiums. Yeah, same thing.
It's like, yeah. Captive audience. What else
are you going to do? Go hungry? Yeah, well, that's
where that card comes in that guarantees you're
going to spend a certain amount, which has been
floated around but would not surprise me if that's
the truth eventually. So, yeah, you know, it's
like we've got to make it to where we make you
buy that $30 cheeseburger. Yeah, yeah. Or keep
it simple, make it like a hotel where you put
a credit card on file. So when you buy your season
tickets, you put a credit card on file, and when
you go to the game, they're like, yeah, we're
charging you $250, so you might as well order
some food. Yeah, yep. Yeah, so. Oh, and then
you have to tip on top of that. Oh, yeah, yeah,
yeah, of course. Which was the question of the
week on the gang ban. It was like, yeah, do you
think tipping's gone too far? Way too far. Way
too far. So many other countries around the planet.
don't have this insane tipping culture that we
have here. No, they don't. It's odd. In a lot
of places, businesses actually pay their employees
enough in wages that they don't need tips. Imagine
that. Instead, you go to a restaurant and you're
subsidizing their workforce, you're allowing
them to pay their workforce shit wages, and you
make up for it by tipping. Isn't that funny how
they convinced us that we're supposed to go help
pay their payroll? Yeah. It's a great scam. It
is. It's an awesome scam. It's like the question
asked, you know. There's like self -checkout
machines prompting you for tips now. Who gets
that money? Corporate. Corporate, yeah. Yeah.
And who's dumb enough to do that? Obviously,
people are. That's why they have them. Yeah.
Hey, when I was delivering mail. Wouldn't that
be awesome if like all 600 to 700 people on my
route daily would give me a tip? Yeah, that'd
be great. Hey, just a buck from every person.
Then I wouldn't have to work anymore. I don't
know. A couple years of that and you're like
not doing it anymore. You're like, fuck it. Hey,
I'm walking up to your house. I'm stuffing all
this mail in your mailbox. I'm picking up your
outgoing stuff. I deserve a tip. Yeah. I would
be more inclined to give you a tip than I would
someone that's just doing a to -go order. Yeah.
And it's like, wait, you're doing your job that
you did before that you didn't require extra
money. So what's the difference now? All right.
Next question. Will Hollywood go under? No, I
think it'll adapt. I think so too. Yeah. As shitty
as it is. Yeah. Yeah. Because Hollywood exists
to make an enormous amount of money. They don't
care about agendas. They don't care about influencing.
They don't care about anything if it doesn't
make them money. Making money is the main thing.
So whatever makes them money, they will do. And
if making TV shows and movies and things like
that suddenly becomes difficult or expensive,
they'll shift to something else. Yeah, they will.
They'll start making podcasts. They'll start
making commercials only. They'll start making,
I don't know, training films. They'll do something
to keep the money flowing and keep their... Whatever
it is going. Yep. They're whatever it allegedly
is going. All right. Do you believe that freelance
talent on the Internet will continue to be the
rage? God, I hope so. I think so. I don't see
any reason why not. Well, unless they change
the rules dramatically, it's a perfect platform
for most people. Yeah. You know, you just dip
into it when you want. You leave whenever you
want. You don't pay extra. Your algorithms will,
like, if you like seeing people get smacked in
the balls, your algorithms will start throwing
that at you. You know, I mean, so actually it
works pretty well, I think. And I tend to like
channels with fewer subscribers. Just because
the more subscribers they have for their channel,
the more likely they are to quit being who they
started to be and just be whatever it takes to
pander to the subscribers. All the time. Yeah.
It's like when NPR programs, you know, they program
to whoever's going to donate during Pledge Week.
These content creators are like, okay, these
people over here sent me tons of money on my
last livestream because I said and did these
things. I'm going to do that a lot more often.
Yeah. There's one channel I used to watch because
a guy would play simulation games, and he'd do
tutorials and kind of how -to, show you tips
and tricks. but he's pretty much abandoned that,
and all he does now are live streams of him gaming,
because people just throw money at him. He'll
do a five to seven hour live stream of himself
playing something, and he'll maybe play for about
an hour through that time. The rest of the time,
he's got it on pause, and he's talking with people
in the chat stream, thanking them for all the
money they're giving. Why am I going to sit here
and watch this guy rake in money? I want to see
him play the game. Yeah. I mean, he's become
just insanely boring to me. He's making tons
of money, so he ain't going to change. No, he's
going to continue doing that. Yep. So it used
to be a fun and interesting channel. Now it's
just a money grab. And I'm the same way, too.
If it has a lot of subscribers, generally you're
going to see this dragging. Yeah. Okay, they
drag so they can fit more commercials in and
more time of you watching. Yeah, yeah. I've listened
to some where they say the same thing in about
six different ways. Yeah. And then they say something
else, and then they go back to that thing they've
already said six different ways. Kevin Keatsman
was really good at that when he was on broadcast
radio. Yeah. He could take 20 minutes to tell
you one thing. And at the end of that, you weren't
really sure exactly if he told you anything or
not. Because he was so good at sight tracking.
Oh no, he was a master. Just stalling, delaying,
padding it out the time. It was amazing. That's
how come his podcast is an hour long. You don't
drag him out quite like that on a podcast. He
had like a 3 -4 hour radio show and he had about
an hour's worth of material. So he padded everything
out. And the first 10 minutes back from the commercial
break would be a recap of Everything you talked
about in the last hour is like more wasted time.
Yeah. Yep. He was really good at it. I'm sure
he still is. Oh, yeah. Yeah, he is. I listen
to his podcast occasionally. And actually, I
think he's better at the podcast than he is great
on radio. Obviously, he did so well. I listen
to him. But the thing is, is he's better at podcasting
because he's really good at delivering it. It's
a great delivery is what he does. And his monologues
are really strong and going in a certain area.
And I believe he probably has more freedom on
when to take the breaks. With the radio format,
the news break is coming at exactly this time.
The commercial break is coming at exactly this
time. So you've got to make your point by then.
But now it's like he can take an extra three
or four minutes to make his point and then go
to a break because it's not depending on the
network timing. Yes. It's like, hey, take a break
whenever I feel like it. I can finish my point,
set everyone up for the next thing, and then
take a break. Yeah. It's got to be so much easier.
Yeah. Yep, I agree. So, yeah, and I think, you
know, he does one hour of radio a day on 710.
And I think that's by design, too. I think he
doesn't want any more than that because he does
so well with the podcast and gets to do what
he wants. Yeah, I think an hour is enough to
do a lead -in to his podcast. Yeah. It's not
like he's doing the podcast to try to get back
on radio. He's doing some radio to get you over
to his podcast. Yes, yeah. And the thing is,
he said something not too long ago that people
deemed iffy. And there's nothing they can do
about it because what are they going to do, take
away his podcast? Yeah. It's a perfect crime.
There are no FCC rules. No. Because he's not
broadcasting a damn thing. No, nope. And that's
the thing. He can say whatever he wants, however
he feels, and no one can mess with him, really.
Yeah. I mean, anything besides slander or something
like that, you know. True, yeah. Okay, so I just
got over a bout with COVID. I tested negative,
by the way, so you're fine. How long will it
be around? I'm saying it's not going away. Yeah,
I don't think it's ever going away. It's just
going to be different forms. Yeah, yeah. That's
the weird thing is it will eventually mutate
into other weird things. Yeah. And who knows
if they'll bring it back some year as, oh, this
is the new COVID. This is what it is now. Everyone
gets scared. We all know that it's all about
money. Yeah. And I'm not saying they purposely
did or didn't unleash it or anything like that.
What I'm saying is they found a way to make their
money off of it and they're going with it. Exactly.
However COVID came about, people found a way
to monetize it right away. So therefore, yes.
Yeah. And so if there's an advantage in them
calling it COVID, that's what you're going to
get. True. If they think they can make more money
by calling it the new whatever, then that's what
you're going to get. Before COVID, it was SARS.
We were all supposed to be just totally afraid
of SARS. Yeah, that's right. Before that, it
was swine flu or avian flu, bird flu. Yeah, back
in the 70s, I think it was swine flu. Med -Cal,
that was like a huge deal. We were hearing about
all these tens of thousands of cattle being slaughtered
because they were exposed and it was driving
beef prices up. But that was the thing. It was
an excuse to get... It was driving beef prices
up where people manipulate in the market, not
this mad cow disease that got, I don't know,
10 ,000 cows. And I'm sure those 10 ,000 cows
were killed at the slaughterhouse and then turned
into hamburger and roasts. But they got a great
convenient excuse. Yeah, whoever checks. You
know, the news networks and all the other people
tell you, yeah, mad cow outbreak. Well, there's
something in it for them, too. They're getting
you to watch their TV show. Yes. Yep. Yeah, the
sensationalism on everything is insane. Yeah.
But, you know, if it's somebody you like, you
tend to believe whatever they tell you. And if
it's somebody who's telling you something that
you already like, you tend to believe them right
away. Yes. It's not a criticism. That's the way
humans are. No, it's true. Our brains are wired.
Yep. And if it's somebody you don't like, you
tend to not believe anything they tell you. Or
if they're telling you something that upsets
you, you tend to think, oh, it's a lie. I don't
believe that. Oh, that's a very good point right
there. If it's something that upsets you, yeah,
that's the first thing people do. Oh, that's
bullshit. I don't believe it for one minute.
I can't believe that. It doesn't suit my purposes.
Exactly. People filter stuff the way they want
it. Yep. Everyone does it. It's not a criticism.
It's just, let's be a little more self -aware.
what we're telling ourselves. Well, that's the
thing. Self -aware is what gets me. It's like
you either know what you're doing or, you know,
I mean, so. And most people tend to look the
other way. It's like the people who think that
we really have a chance to make the NFL give
us another team here in Kansas City because we
lost ours. I know. They really think that there's
even the slightest possibility because they're
just fooling themselves. Yeah. I mean, the reality
is it ain't going to happen. And there's like
a thousand reasons why it ain't going to happen.
But they want to believe. There would be a better
chance if Missouri really wanted a team. They
would have to negotiate with NFL, which they
are not capable of doing very well, obviously.
They would have to negotiate with NFL and a team
to bring to St. Louis. But there will not be
a team ever competing with Kansas City, Missouri,
or Kansas. Unless the Chiefs leave. And then
they'll be competing against the Chiefs somewhere
else. But that kind of wishful thinking and fooling
yourself is just kind of scary to me. It is.
Because being around those people, they can get
you into all sorts of shit. Yeah. Because their
lives are probably full of all sorts of damage
and problems because they won't face reality.
It's like, okay, you go live your life over there.
I'm going to stay over here where it's quiet
and peaceful. Yeah. Yep. Drew, all right, next
one. With younger generations growing up on the
Internet with playlists and such, and we've already
kind of answered this, but we'll go into it again.
Will terrestrial radio be phased out? Yeah, I
believe so. I think so, too. I think it's pretty
much like this. It's like you have an option
to subscribe to this service if you don't have
a phone that you can get in. whatever on or they
might just start doing that where it's subscription
where you get uh oh all of iheart's radios all
of cumulus's for uh 4 .99 a month yeah anywhere
in the world i could see that happening think
about it broadcast radio as an form of entertainment
has been around for only a little over 100 years
yeah just a little over 100 years and look how
much It's changed in how it's hanging by a thread
after just that short amount of time. I remember
when FM was taking over AM. Yeah. You know, KY
-102 was a big thing in Kansas City because FM
and the big swing in D in Kansas City was WHB
-710 AM at the time. And you had Rockin' Johnny
Dolan and all of those guys. I mean, yeah, they
were like the first big booming. rock station
in Kansas City. Yeah. Very tempered after something
like WLS and Chicago or something like that.
Yeah. If you wanted to hear the newest rock songs,
then you would tune into them. So then, KY came
out, and it wasn't necessarily their playlist,
but it was the fact that they're on FM. Yeah.
And it was so much better sounding. Yeah, it
really was. And it didn't go out underneath the
bridges, you know. It was a really clear stereo
sound. People ran out and started buying their
Jensens and Kragers and all that. Yeah, and you
could get a decent signal after sundown from
FM. Yeah. Oh, man, I thought I was going to keep
going. I slipped my mind. Okay. So KY came by,
and then they introduced a lot of personalities,
too, because they had to because WHB had those
personalities that everybody was used to. So
KY combined took the banner primarily because
it's FM, but they had to do it right, and I'm
not taking any credit away from them at all.
They had years and years and years of ultimate
success. I mean, they had the number one rated
station in Kansas City over everything else for
years. Yeah, yeah. At the time they really started
going, they found a segment of the market that
was fairly young that they really appealed to.
And then that segment of the market grew up,
and as they aged, they continued listening to
102. And 102 kind of altered their programming
to keep that big audience, big baby boomer audience.
And there just really isn't a big audience like
that anymore. No, no. Because there are too many
choices. No, I know. Well, I've got an example
of you. Have you listened to the Fox lately?
No, actually, I haven't. Okay, well, if you do,
you're going to hear a lot of Green Day, Stained.
Stuff like that. Stuff that's 25 years old, not
50 years old. Rarely do you hear the Beatles
on there when you used to hear them all the time.
This is true. This is true. Mamas and Papas.
All of that classic stuff you used to hear on
101, but it had to grow up with the people. So
now they're reaching back 25 years, at the most
40. You'll get some Aerosmith and stuff like
that. They're even past the Motley Crue and the
Def Leppard scene. Now they're going on to the
90s era and now the 2000s, early 2000s. Or if
the song came out in 2000, 2001, it is classic
rock. Yeah, that's kind of the cutoff point for
an antique car in 25 years. You can get an antique
plate for your car if it's more than 25 years
old. At least in Missouri you can. So any music
that's 25 years older or more is considered classic
rock, which means every year you add another
year. And I remember there used to be some songs
from the 60s, you know, late 60s, that 101 would
play a lot. I doubt they play anything earlier
than, say, 1975 now. I don't think so. I don't
think they play anything earlier than that. And
it's not even much of that. Well, if it's early
Black Sabbath. Yeah, the standards. But I wonder
if 101 even plays Freebird anymore. That used
to be a staple. I don't think they play it that
much. I don't think so. Yeah. So, in other words,
they do still play some of that stuff. Yeah.
But they don't go back so far to where you get
the Beatles or something like that. Yeah. And
no Deep Tracks. No. None of those anymore. Nope.
No. The next one is kind of out of nowhere. Are
Americans too busy? Yeah. Yeah, because they're
not willing to stand up for their rights. And,
you know, it's intentional. We're being kept
busy and distracted, so we don't have time to
think about what's really happening to us and
how much everything is really costing us. Yeah.
And, you know, if you keep people occupied and
busy, their brains scattered. They can't. They
can't figure that stuff out, and they certainly
can't organize to do anything about it. Hell
no. No. That's out. That's gone. They keep talking
about all these rights we have as Americans.
We keep giving them up for the sake of convenience
and immediate pleasure. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yep.
So, all right. The constant distractions being
the norm, will there ever be another quiet generation?
No, I don't think so. Oh, neither. No. I think
every generation is going to be in your face
loud, and they have rights, and they're going
to express it to everybody, and it's going to
be on the Internet. Yeah. Yeah, we are all encouraged
to do things that are selfish and rude and to
tell ourselves this is what we deserve. Yeah.
I've heard probably 30 years of commercials trying
to tell me what I deserve. Remember McDonald's,
you deserve a break today. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So commercials have been telling us for decades
what we deserve. And we all started to believe
it. We all became entitled assholes. Yeah. Oh,
look, we deserve this. I deserve to have this
right away. Yeah, that's so true. Okay. How about
working for it? Oh, hell no. I just want it.
Give it. That's a great way of putting it, actually.
They're teaching us all to be spoiled, demanding
brats, and then somebody will come along and
give us what we want as long as we give up the
right thing. You're right. And for the most part,
what they want us to give up is any kind of self
-determination or even paying attention to what's
going on around us. Yep. Live your life, earn
a shit ton of money, spend every penny, die broke.
Yeah. That's it. That's their message. Yeah.
All right. And then finally, ever since Gen X,
the generations have been more open and nothing
is sacred. And this kind of goes along what we're
just saying. Do you see the progression or will
it hit a wall? I think it'll eventually hit a
wall. I do too. Just like there's some things
that nobody can be forgiven for doing. Now, the
things that you can be forgiven for is getting
bigger and bigger and bigger. I mean, it used
to be if you got a divorce, that would kill your
career in business. Like, oh, he got a divorce.
What a scumbag human he is. That's a good point,
yeah. That used to be like a no -no. Or like
a Protestant married to an Irish Catholic. That
was a mixed marriage in a lot of people's minds.
Yeah, people were frowning on it. Oh, man, I
don't know if they went too far. You can't mix
those two. I mean, tons of stuff like that is
no big deal as far as sexual preference. That's
getting to the point where nobody gives a damn.
For a while it was, we all want to know. But
now it's like, why are you telling me? I don't
care. If someone tells me, it's got nothing to
do with nothing. But most people, I find out
if they're gay or something way after the fact.
Unless they're obviously... Because I work with
a guy. I would have never guessed it just walking
up and talking to him. Because it really doesn't
matter. It doesn't matter. It just doesn't matter.
Nope. And then when he told me, yeah, my boyfriend,
I'm just like, oh, okay. It wasn't anything different.
So all of this stuff, you know, the Protestant
and the Catholic and all that, it seems like
once they figure out, like, it's no big deal,
humanity moves on. Yeah, but there's some things
that are still... Some things that are out of
touch. Yeah, a little too far outside the normal
to be accepted. Yes. Let's hope nobody ever gets
any kind of tolerance for pedophilia. Let's hope
nobody ever gets any kind of tolerance for rapists.
Yeah, they're trying to normalize a lot of that
stuff, and it's just fucked up. Because, yeah,
they're trying to flood the market with all this
stuff. And when actually, no, it's wrong, and
people don't believe in it, but they're trying
to make it seem like no big deal. In fact, Meta,
which is what Facebook's parent company is, they
just lost a $375 million settlement because they
were doing things to endanger children. Yeah,
they knew it. They knew it. They defended vigorously
against it. They say they're going to appeal
because they want to keep doing it. Yeah. And
that was the trial where Zuckerberg and his lawyer
walked in wearing their AI glasses to try to
intimidate the judge. Yeah, they thought they
were going to intimidate the judge. And the judge
says, take those off your face or you'll spend
the night in jail. Speaking of judges, on the
last Douchebag program that we did Wednesday
night, there is a new segment on it. Well, yeah,
it is a new segment. It's Buford T. Rasputin.
He is a common sense concierge. And he had to
take that job because none of us fit the bill.
Yeah. So, yeah. But he has a new adopted judge
program. Oh, cool. That's very interesting, yes.
Yeah, so I encourage everybody to listen to Buford.
He is the common sense concierge. Yeah. Yeah.
Anyhow, okay, that's all of the bullet points
I had. You got something you want to go into?
I've got one last bullet point to add in. Oh,
okay. Of all the quarterbacks currently playing
in the league now, which ones would you really
like to see win a Super Bowl or at least get
into a Super Bowl before they retire? Lamar Jackson.
Yeah, Lamar Jackson definitely. And this doesn't
have to be with their present team. They could
move around, whatever. I think Lamar Jackson
would probably have a greater chance off of the
Ravens than he does on. I do too. Because they've
shown that they don't know how to use what talent
he has. get them over the edge. Maybe another
team will be better able to do that. Yeah, maybe
so. I don't think there's a damn thing wrong
with Lamar Jackson. I really don't. No, no, it's
not him. It's not him. How about Brock Purdy?
Yeah, I'd like to see him get a Super Bowl. Just
because he was pretty much irrelevant as Lowe's
where he was drafted. It'd be fun to see him
get it. It's another Tom Brady story. I can't
say Josh Allen because I really kind of don't
care about him anymore. He's had plenty of opportunities,
and he hasn't been able to get it done, and it's
been kind of on him. He's done it to himself,
honestly, so much to where I just don't care
if he wins anymore or not. I'd like to see Baker
Mayfield get a Super Bowl. That's a good one.
Actually, I put Baker Mayfield ahead of Brock
Purdy. I would love to see Baker Mayfield get
it. I'd love to see him as a backup for the Chiefs.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. In a couple years, maybe he
can. Yeah, yeah. Him and Mahomes, the famous
battle royales. In college, of course. Let's
see. Trevor Lawrence, I really don't care. C
.J. Stroud, I would like C .J. Stroud, Caleb
Williams, and the guy from Washington. C .J.
Stroud, yeah. Oh, Jaden Daniels. Yes. Those three
I would like to see live up to the potential
that everyone believed they had and just really
have a great run. That would be awesome if those
three quarterbacks start being the three that
are fighting each other. That would be good,
wouldn't it? Yeah. Because right now we've got
Mahomes, Burrow, Josh Allen, Lamar Jackson. That's
kind of it. And Joe Burrow, I don't give a shit
anymore either. I wouldn't mind, but on the other
hand... I wouldn't be pissed or nothing or...
I'd be like, all right, good. Well, I'm glad
he got one. Yeah, I'd be more likely to root
for him if he was off the Bengals. Me too. Me
too. That's it right there. If he was on a different
team, I'd really like him a lot more. Yeah, and
I like the Bengals. I always have liked the Bengals.
It's just they piss me off the way they run their
franchise. Me too. They waste so many opportunities.
They waste so many good players. kind of pisses
me off. That's why I wouldn't mind him winning
a Super Bowl somewhere else besides with Cincinnati
is because of the way they run their operation
and how they shoot themselves in the foot constantly.
Yeah. And I don't feel that Burrow deserves that.
No. Burrow has definitely done everything asked
of him. He's kept a pretty decent attitude. You
know, he's had some times where he's said some
things, but he could have gone off a lot more
than that. He could have went off a lot more.
He's definitely shown restraint. Yeah. At the
time, I was down on him, but then the more we
go on and the more I examine how the Bengals
do stuff, I get it now. See, we were reading
and paying attention to the spin that the Bengals
organization were putting out on Burr because
they were trying to make him look like a spoiled
brat so he would side with the organization over
him. But then we started looking at what was
really going on. Apologies to Joe Burrow. You've
never been anything less than everything they
wanted you to be and they just don't know how
to use you correctly. Do yourself a favor, Joe.
Get off of that team. And don't go to Dallas.
Or the Raiders. I saw a really interesting movie
the other day. I just got to tell you about this.
Okay. I thought it was going to be a comedy.
The movie was called The Man Who Assassinated
Hitler and The Bigfoot. Sounds like it'd be a
comedy. Yeah, it was an adventure drama starring
Sam Elliott, of all people. And it was played
completely straight. First clue was it was written,
produced, and directed all by the same guy. I
don't recognize this name. By the way, Buford
T. Rasputin, the common sense concierge, has
tailored himself after Sam Elliott. Oh, nice.
Yeah, you'll hear it. Yeah. So the movie, I couldn't
tell if they just really didn't know what they
were doing or whether they just really weren't
trying very hard, but it was very unevenly paced.
The photography was... They would spend way too
long on something that just didn't matter. We
had about 10 minutes of some guy on his way to
assassinate Hitler. He goes to this farmhouse
and gets a German shepherd from some kid. You
know, it's the kid's own pet dog. I love it.
It's a German shepherd. And he has to give it
to him. So he's there, like, dressed in a Nazi
uniform to infiltrate the bunker to shoot Hitler.
And you see about ten minutes of him traveling
by truck and by bus and by train just with this
dog and going all over the place and walking.
And he finally gets where he's going and he ties
the dog to a tree and walks away. And you never
see the dog again. Wow. What the hell was the
point of the dog? So this was a very cheaply
made movie. Apparently so. And Sam Elliott obviously
needed money. I think he did. But the plot line
is during World War II, Sam Elliott was the guy
who assassinated Hitler, but the Germans covered
it up and just put in a body double. Which is
probably true. Which is probably true. And then
they needed him to come out of retirement and
go kill Bigfoot because Bigfoot was carrying
the Nightmare Plague, which was the source of
SARS and COVID and swine flu. When did this come
out? Six years ago. No, eight years ago, 2018.
Okay. So he had to go north into Canada where
they had Bigfoot trapped in this big ring of
fire, and he had to go in on foot with a rifle
and kill Bigfoot before he spread his diseases
across the whole world and everything died. Oh,
no, that's funny. Oh, my gosh. And there's this
big epic battle scene between him and Bigfoot.
It's just... I've got to see this. You know,
my favorite... My favorite... portrayed or whatever
is the family guy where his mustache just starts
talking on its own takes off but there's so many
cliche elements in the in the movie like there's
the big scene where young punks try to ambush
him and even though he's like 900 years old,
he wins. Secret government organizations. It's
just like every stupid cliche was worked into
it. It started getting so funny because it was
so bad. And the problem is it wasn't meant to
be in comedy. No, it wasn't. And it was weird.
My wife and I watched it together and we sat
there and at one point we said, This movie's
only an hour and 38 minutes long, but it feels
like we've been already watching two freaking
hours. This just takes forever. It was about
the longest, most boring hour and 38 minutes
I've ever spent. But looking back, it was pretty
funny. Is it kind of like Napoleon Dynamite where
it's so horrible you can't turn it off? Well,
at least in Napoleon Dynamite they were trying
to be funny. Yeah, that's true. they're not trying
at all to be funny. They're trying to be completely
serious and really draw you in, and it's just
failing so miserably. I mean, the acting performances
were crap. Sam Elliott is a good actor, but the
director didn't get anything out of him. He got
a half -assed take and said, good enough. Anyway,
if you've got two hours to kill, the man who
killed Hitler and the Bigfoot. I would recommend
that's get drunk or high or something. Invite
a bunch of people over and laugh your asses off.
It's pretty fun. Okay. So I got some things if
you want me to do some stuff. I've got a few
more from my list of really weird products. And
you kind of think, what the hell were they thinking?
Okay. You're familiar with a Keurig coffee making
machine? Yeah. Oh, yeah. They had a soda -making
machine, too. They called Keurig Cold, with a
K. I actually, I remember that. Yeah. I do remember
that, okay. Now, you had to buy these soda pods
that were large and a lot of plastic, so it was
a recycling nightmare. They were two bucks each.
And it made a pretty small serving size, like
this 12 -ounce cup here. Maybe you'd get... most
of the way filled it threw a bunch of ice in.
So it was a pretty small serving size for two
bucks. At the time the machine cost about 300
bucks. It took up a lot of counter space because
it was huge and it was incredibly loud. And really
the only benefit to it was you could keep a bunch
of the pods on hand and if you really wanted
like one serving of a specific soda you could
get the pod out and make that for yourself. But
apart from that, it was utterly useless. And,
of course, it failed very quickly. If they introduced
it now, what they would do would be the pods
would be a subscription service that every month
you would get a box of them. The next one I have
is, remember mobile ESPN? This was a streaming
service slash phone plan. where instead of streaming
ESPN on your regular phone, which everyone could
do at the time, they said, oh no, get our special
phone. And your phone plan and your ESPN streaming
service are all rolled into one. And supposedly
it was supposed to make things better, but you
had to pay an extra $400 for this extra phone,
and then you had to pay $40 a month for the subscription.
And you basically get everything you had before,
except now you've got an ESPN -branded phone.
There was actually zero benefit to the customer
to do it. Just none. Of course, that failed pretty
quickly. But ESPN bought about 100 ,000 of these
really crappy phones that they couldn't sell.
Next week, my schedule's the same. It's the following
week that I told you about. I just remembered
something. I'll take a look at it. All right.
And then there was the Apple Lisa computer. This
was supposed to be a high -end business machine.
It was aimed at the upper executives, chairman
of the board, president, whatever. It used a
graphic interface, which is fairly new. It was
back when Windows was kind of becoming a thing,
and everyone wanted a graphic interface. But
even in 1983, this computer cost $10 ,000. Wow.
Yeah. What is that? 40 years ago, $10 ,000 was
a whole lot more than it is today. No one would
spend $10 ,000 on a computer now. No, gosh no,
but back then it was even worse. And for a $10
,000 high -end business machine, it had tons
of performance issues. It was constantly crashing,
blank screens, garbled screens, and Apple, true
to their usual form, provided very little software
for it. So you spend all that money on a business
machine, and it really can't help run your business
because there's no software. Wow. So they had
to rely on other developers to make the software.
The whole thing just fell again. It was like
the Apple III all over again. Oh, gosh. Yeah.
And the last one I have is for Bazaar products.
Remember the Philips CDI format? Yeah. This was
supposed to be an all -in -one home media entertainment.
It was very expensive. It was incompatible with
regular CD formats. So it required the CDI format,
required other companies to make their stuff
in the CDI format, which nobody was interested
in doing. It needed an extra cartridge add -on
just to play movies. Oh, wow. All of the tech
involved was outdated on release. it was already
superseded by other things. Oh, yeah. Desktop
PCs did everything it did and did it better and
did it cheaper. Yeah, there's absolutely no reason
to get it. I remember looking for a CD player,
and the guy at the store, I think, was Silo.
Remember those? They sold electronics. He was
really pushing the CDI format. And he kept telling
me, oh, yeah, get this. And then you can get
all these CDI discs and do this. And I kept asking,
is this compatible with everything else? Well,
you know, everything's available on CDIs. Like,
he wouldn't really answer my question. Yeah,
that's not answering whether it's compatible
or not. But I'm sure he was under pressure to
sell a bunch of those. I'm sure he was because
they bought them and, yeah, they needed to sell
them. But eventually when the CDI format failed
and everyone had these players and there was
nothing to play on them anymore, they got together
a class action lawsuit, and I think they got
money back from the Phillips Corporation to help
offset the cost of these useless machines everyone
had now. That's funny. So they admitted they
got duped. They're like, oh, yeah, we were wrong.
So Phillips tried it. It didn't work. If I got
a little story here, I think it'd be pretty good.
Yeah. Okay. A humanoid robot was detained by
the cops after terrorizing an elderly woman on
the street. Oh. Yeah. Creepy. Yep. A humanoid
robot has been detained by the cops for terrorizing
an elderly woman on a Chinese street. The surreal
incident occurred last week in the city of Macaw.
I believe is how you pronounce it. Just kind
of like the bird. Yeah. With the startled 70
-year -old Andy. ending up in the hospital following
her encounter with a four -foot -four -inch robot.
Not very big, but still can do a lot of damage.
Hell, a goose can break your arm. Well, as I
go on, it's more of the woman's problem, not
really the robot, but there's a little bit more
to it. You're making my heart race, the woman
raised in Cantonese, per a report in the Macaw
Post. You've got plenty to do, so what's the
point of messing around with this? Are you freaking
crazy? This is what the lady was telling the
robot. Okay. I think I know who I think's crazy.
Yeah. And it's not the robot. No. So, according
to the publication, the woman was walking along
the street looking for her cell phone when she
realized something was following closely behind
her. Okay. Startled, she turned around and she
found the robot. Okay. In the video footage,
the bot was seen raising both arms as he was
scolded by the woman. So she scolded the robot.
Okay. Or in his feelings, maybe. I don't know.
Well, I mean, it's AI. It's just going to react.
Yeah. So, the video subsequently shows two police
officers taking the robot off of the street.
I would have taken her off. I think so too. The
Eastern Post reports that there was no physical
contact between the woman and the robot. That's
good. However, she was taken to the hospital
where she was examined and released. The robot
purportedly belongs to an education center in
Central District and was conducting promotional
activities in the area. The android was being
operated remotely by a 50 -year -old man who
told the police he was testing the robot to further
improve its operation. He was subsequently warned
by authorities to be more mindful of endangering
or frightening pedestrians. Well, hell yeah,
what gives him the right to go out and test his
robot using us without our knowledge? What an
asshole. He is an asshole, but the woman really
overreacted to him. Footage of the incident went
viral, prompting amusing responses from pundits,
which I didn't include because who cares? How
likely do you think it is that people have been
seriously injured and or killed by these autonomous
robots and it's just been covered up? I would
say a handful. Yeah, I think so too. Yeah, of
course that number's going to grow. And there's
going to be that one incident where, I don't
know, a bot grabs a gun and just starts blowing
people away or something. That's going to happen.
We know this. I have seen video. It was a company,
I believe, in China. And they had humanoid -looking
robots hanging from these racks. And one of them
started flipping out and going crazy. And all
four of its limbs were flailing around like crazy.
Oh, it would have killed somebody. Yeah, it came
really close to cracking this guy's skull. And
it was hitting other things and destroying things.
If it had hit that guy's head, he would have
been seriously injured. Yeah. And that's just
the one that they let us see. Imagine all the
ones that they won't let us see. And now I don't
think you can find that footage. I don't think
so. Yeah, they took it away. Speaking of footage,
you remember the Roomba robot? Yes. The vacuum?
Most of those models used actual cameras to navigate
instead of LIDAR. All the ones now use LIDAR.
But the Roomba ones used actual cameras. And
there has been a report and a leaked photograph
showing that the Roomba vacuum trundled into
this woman's bathroom and took a picture of her
sitting on the toilet. And sent it back to the
parent company iRobot. And then it got passed
around. Oh! Remember when Tesla was doing that
with the internal cameras on cars? They were
passing around videos of people having sex in
their cars. The Roomba. Robot. A vacuum was doing
the same thing. It was getting porno pictures
because it was trundling around people's houses
taking pictures everywhere. People don't think
when they get products. They don't think. Let
me invite this spy and parasite into my home
and let it milk me for everything. But don't
worry. They said they're not going to do that.
Oh, yeah. It's like, remember when Apple promised
they would never do anything like that? Yeah.
How well did that turn out for them? Oh, and
everyone in the Apple cult believed them. Oh,
they wouldn't lie to us. No, it's Apple. Yeah.
I've got something here. Okay. A judge shuts
down Mark Gastineau's $25 million lawsuit against
ESPN over Brett Favre drama. Were you aware of
this? No, I didn't realize he was involved in
any way. Yeah, well, it's really interesting
of how he's involved. Okay. So, the former Jetstar
pass rusher. had his lawsuit dismissed against
ESPN over its presentation of him in a scene
in the show 30 for 30. Oh, okay. All right. Any
judge, a New York judge, not any. A New York
judge. I was reading that like AI would. Yeah,
I did. Well, I didn't have enough time to type
this out, so to scribble, I saw this story and
started writing it down. And so anyhow, the New
York judge cited that Gastineau signed a contract
that protected them from lawsuits, saying that
they could go ahead with the content and show
it. It's a problem. Gastineau confronted Brett
Favre at the Chicago Sports Spectacular in 2023,
in which he alleged that Favre did Michael Strahan
a favor. by letting him sack him and get the
single -season all -time record for sacks. I
remember that. Yes. Everyone knew that Favre
took a flop and let his buddy Strahan get the
record. Yes, and it's pretty evident if you watch
it. I mean, it really looks like he laid down.
And they shared a grin afterwards. Yeah. Yeah,
it's very obvious. And thankfully, Strahan has
been surpassed since then, so his bullshit record
is no longer standing. It's gone. Yes. He never
deserved that record in the first place. I'm
glad it's gone. So I guess Gastineau had the
record before that? I think so. Prior to 1982,
they didn't even count sacks. They didn't even
talk about them, but they wouldn't count them.
No. Well, they've got to find a better way to
record pressures that lead to sacks. Yes. Because
pressures are what really usually leads to sacks.
They lead to a heck of a lot more interceptions,
too. Yes, they do. Yes. Yep, you get a couple
of big hands in your face while trying to throw
that ball, and it's funny what you do. Yeah,
you start seeing those in your sleep. Yeah. You
see these giant fingers, and you think, Andre
the Giant's going to check my oil. Yeah. Imagine
that. Oh, God. You have no idea you got on his
bad side, but you find out when he body slams
you. Yes. Biggin' says hello, chomp. Yes. If
you know, you know. If you know, you know. Yeah,
that's right. Oh, Biggin'. Yep. Yep. Not making
fun of you. You know, you're in the great beyond
now. But, yeah, yeah. And if you don't know what
we're talking about, I think I need to go find
that episode. Yeah. Yeah. Or we'll just redo
it. We'll redo it like we always do. This one.
Yeah. What was the other one I got to redo? Oh,
the Bluetooth story. Yes. Yeah. Yep. because
I don't know where they're at. So, anyhow. Yeah,
I need that one and that one in particular. Those
are the ones that are most asked about because,
you know, Babel Snatch and the mall and all that
stuff we have and I periodically throw them in
something. The Mad Shitter. The Mad Shitter,
of course. You know, that's one of the most famous.
Very popular. Yeah, very popular. All right.
Remember a few weeks ago when I was mentioning
that Nissan was in... financial trouble and they
were looking for somebody to buy them and Honda
said no thanks. Yeah. Well I've learned now why
Honda said no thanks and why Nissan was looking
to get them to buy because Honda's in big trouble
too. Oh. They are in big trouble. So Nissan was
thinking hey between the two of us we can cut
the fat save the good stuff and reorganize. And
Honda's basically saying no we think we've got
a way out of this. We don't want you. But Let
me read you what's going on here. Honda faces
a potential $3 .6 billion to $4 .3 billion loss
for the fiscal year. One year's loss. One year's
loss. Wow. Yeah. A sharp reversal from previous
expectations. So not only is it, like, huge,
but they thought they were going to do better
than this, a whole lot better. The problem was
they made a disastrous bet on aggressive EV sales
growth. electronic vehicle electric vehicles
um they canceled key models like the honda o
zero series and they had huge expenses trying
to restructure and get all this electric vehicle
stuff going One of their biggest markets was
China. They were betting everything on really
breaking into China. In the EV market? In the
electric vehicle market. But China's kicking
their ass. The last 24 consecutive months, sales
in China have dropped every month for Honda.
As well as mounting losses from its auto operations.
Operating profit for the 2025 -26 period is projected
to fall by over 50%. Wow. Yeah. Now, the recovery
measures that they're trying to do is they're
shifting its focus towards and relying on its
profitable hybrid models. Now, Honda hybrid models
sell really well. A lot of people like them.
They're doing really well. But they were kicking
those to the curb for the full electric. Now
they've learned their lesson. But here's the
fun part. is right now the only thing keeping
Honda in business is their motorcycle division.
Really? That's making a crap ton of money. And
it's keeping the whole business afloat. Yeah.
That's what Honda started with was motorcycles.
Yeah, it is. So if it weren't for that, Honda
would pretty much be in bankruptcy right now.
Wow. So they better thank their lucky stars that
they never got rid of their motorcycle division.
Yeah. Well, that's interesting because Honda
in the 80s and some of the 90s was like the brand
people wanted to get. You know, that and Toyota.
And they still make really good cars, really
good quality, well -designed cars. It's just
they blew so much operating capital on the wrong
idea. Yeah. And it didn't pan out. Well, EVs
is what's like taking a lot of companies down
because people are like, oh, this is a... This
is the future. And then the further they go on
to realize that, no, it's not. No, it's not.
No, it's not the best way to handle this crisis
or whatever. Yeah. See, electric vehicles were
never designed to save the planet. They were
designed to save the car industry. Yes. and all
its associated industries. But there's so many
other better choices. There just are. One of
which is not driving so much, which is an option
everybody has. Everybody has, yeah. When you
start complaining about that. Or public transit,
if you will. It's interesting that I hope Honda
does recover, and I hope they bring back some
of the models that they killed. But it made me
think of Jaguar. and the way they destroyed their
company. Oh, gosh. When they canceled all their
existing lines of cars and did the two -year
shutdown before bringing out their all -electric
vehicles, they had cars that were almost ready
for production. They had spent all the money
to develop the design, test it, do viability,
get the safety testing done. It was pretty much
ready to put into assembly line production. And
it was time to make your money back on it, and
Jaguar killed it. Oh, no, gas engine? Forget
it. We're not gas anymore. We're all electric.
They could not have fucked their business up
any worse. And the Type 00 fully electric vehicle
that they've been showing off. It's a concept
car. It doesn't work. It can't work. It will
not work as a production vehicle. So go ahead
and look at it and say how pretty and cool it
is, but you're never going to get to drive one.
It's just a mock -up. There's absolutely no way
that model would pass any safety standards or
any kind of anything standards and become a production
car. It's just there to tease you. So really,
you have absolutely no idea what Jaguar has,
what they're working on, what they might produce.
It's just all according. They're probably going
to go under because of this idiot that runs them.
Yeah. Or did run them. Yeah, they fired him.
And then they got a new guy. He's really trying
to patch things up. He's got to bring it back.
So far, they're not going back. I mean, the same
company that owns Jaguar owns Land Rover. And
Land Rover is still profitable. So the overall
company, I mean, just Tata Motors. It's an Indian
company. But they're letting this go on. It stands
for boobie. Yes, it does. But it's so weird that
the parent company isn't stepping in and starting
to slap people's faces over Jaguar and saying,
mind your manners, people. Let's go back to making
money. It's just the weirdest thing. I don't
know. I wish the show Top Gear were still going
on because Jeremy Clarkson and Richard Hammond
and James May would have fun roasting Jaguar
to pieces over this. Oh, gosh, yeah. Because
Clarkson in particular was a big Jaguar fan.
He really liked Jags. It's sad to see a once
proud brand become... Just a joke. Oh, yeah.
An utter joke. If I had one of the older Jags,
I think I might be a little embarrassed to drive
it around at this point. I think I would, too.
Yeah. Like, nah, I don't want anything to do
with that company. Yeah. I mean, imagine being
so proud of your big Ford pickup and then the
picture surfaces of Henry Ford in drag having
sex with a statue. Wouldn't you be a little embarrassed
to drive a Ford pickup truck? True. Yeah. I got
something a little bit different, if you're done.
That was it. Oh, okay. Well, as we all know,
Chuck Norris passed away last week, which sucked,
you know, because dude was very cool. Apparently,
he had to go kick some ass in heaven. Yes, which
he probably is right now. So, yeah, the reason
it took him so long is he was negotiating the
terms of, yeah, everything. So, yeah. All right.
I've got some Chuck Norris facts. Okay. Okay.
Chuck Norris doesn't do push -ups. He pushes
the earth down. Yes. When Chuck Norris enters
a room, he doesn't turn the lights on. He turns
the dark off. Oh, yeah. I like that one. Def
once had a near -Chuck experience. This one's
one of my favorites. Chuck Norris once counted
to infinity, then did it twice. Excellent. There's
no theory of evolution, just a list of Chuck
Norris allows to live. That's a good one. Oh,
this next one I love. Chuck Norris can divide
by zero. Oh, that is a good one. When the boogeyman
goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet
with Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris doesn't wear
a watch. He decides what time it is. Chuck Norris
beat the sun in a staring contest. Oh, that's
a good one. Yeah, it is. This one. Chuck Norris
can slam a revolving door. Wow, that is skill
and that is a very good one. That's very good.
Chuck Norris can hear sign language. Oh, that's
awesome. Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg.
No, I believe that. I believe it too. Chuck Norris
can win a game of Connect Four in three moves.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
Oh, that's pretty cool. Chuck Norris doesn't
read books. He stares them down until they give
him the information. I have more if that's not
enough. I remember some of them I remember hearing
is Chuck Norris can eat nails. crap razor blades
i like that one a lot and then that i was i was
bow hunting at the time and that segue to the
bow hunting community was when your broadheads
get dull just you know chuck norris swallows
them and craps them out sharp i like that yeah
they got really inventive didn't they let's see
there was one chuck norris never gets a busy
signal the phone waits for him Chuck Norris once
stared into the abyss. The abyss blinked. Hell
is just a place Chuck Norris chooses to go off.
Chuck Norris doesn't fear the end of the world.
The world fears the end of him. Chuck Norris
doesn't run from danger. Danger runs, hide, and
still gets found. Chuck Norris doesn't have nightmares.
Nightmares have Chuck Norris. When Chuck Norris
breaks the law, the law apologizes. That's a
good one. Chuck Norris once round -out kicked
a shadow. It never came back. Let's see. Chuck
Norris once threw a punch so hard it traveled
back in time to win the fight before it started.
That is actually a pretty good one. It is. Ooh,
remind me to tell you about boxing. Oh, okay.
And anyhow, that's about it. Okay. So, yeah,
boxing has been on my mind lately. I've been
seeing things about boxing, and my maternal grandfather
was a boxer. The one that didn't get murdered
was a boxer. Yeah, by the alleged... By the alleged
Carlos Sevilla. Yes. So, anyway, boxing used
to be vastly different than it is now. What we're
accustomed to is, what, two -minute rounds? Yeah.
And what, fights go at 15 rounds and then they
make a decision? Yeah, and then they say, yep.
The way boxing used to be is the round lasted
however long it took for someone to get knocked
down. Oh, I like that. Sometimes 15 minute rounds
before somebody... So every round ended in a
knockdown. And then they would ring the bell
and you'd go to your corners and you'd have your
little... You know, in between. See, I like that
because stamina would play more of a difference.
Yes, it would. Very much so. And you've heard
the expression, can you answer the bell? Yeah.
That was what the bell would ring for the next
round. And if you couldn't make it out of your
corner, then you lose. You couldn't answer the
bell. I like that. And it was not all that common
for someone to get knocked out in the middle
of the round. It was usually... When they got
knocked down, the round was over, they'd sit
in their corner, and then the next round started,
they just couldn't get up. That was it. They
were still fucked. That's good because that gives
them two minutes to clear the cobwebs and come
back out instead of a standing aid or whatever.
Yeah. Yeah. But even with all these extreme circumstances,
super long rounds, getting knocked down over
and over, fights would sometimes last 30 or 40
rounds. Wow. Yeah. Was this bare knuckle back
then? A lot of times it was. Wow. That's why
a lot of boxers used to die. It was a brutal
sport for a long time. And they changed it to
make it something where you weren't actually
always taking your life into your hand every
time you got in the ring. Well, they kind of
had to. But, man, boxing used to be tough. It
used to be a whole lot tougher. I would have
loved to have seen that. How long have we got?
Aaron, 32. All right. Do you want to go into
the music creeps? How about some of the biggest
box office flops of the past year? I like that.
So based on reported box office data for 2025,
here are the most significant high -profile losses.
We can both guess what number one is. Snow White.
Yep. It had a $269 million budget. It was considered
a massive bomb, losing well over $200 million.
I don't feel bad for them at all. They made less
than $60 million on the movie. Worldwide. I love
that. Now, films like Snow White and another
I'm going to mention, they had so much money
spent on special effects. And then recasting
and rewrites and all of a sudden, they needed
a massive return just to break even. Never were
going to get it with Snow White anyway. And then
when they did all sorts of bizarre things to
the story, people were like, yeah, we'll pass.
Yeah, that's it. I mean, it wasn't even a kid
-friendly movie anymore. It just really wasn't.
No, no, no. They did everything Hollywood does.
They completely screwed it up. Yeah. Next on
the list is Tron Ares. It had a $220 million
plus budget. Oh, yeah. It made about $142 million
worldwide. So $80 million in losses right off
the bat at least. And again, they spent just
so much money on special effects, and there wasn't
much movie there. And a lot of times that works.
I mean, Avatar wasn't much of a movie, but the
special effects were amazing. And that was enough
to carry it. That was them. This is them. Yeah.
And here's another one. Elio, Pixar's venture,
failed to resonate. They spent $200 million plus
and made back $154 million. So about a $50 million
loss for Pixar. Wow. And a massive miscalculation
on what people wanted. Yeah, well, I'd say, yeah.
Here's one I don't remember called Mickey 17.
I think it was a kid. And he was like the 17th
version of that kid. It's like he clones or replicas
or something like that. 17, okay. $118 million
budget. Failed to draw large audiences despite
a popular director and star. Uh -huh. The Smashing
Machine starring Dwayne Johnson. Had a $50 million
budget. It was A24's sports drama. Saw poor returns
of only $20 million. So they lost 30, despite
critical praise for the performance. So apparently
Dwayne Johnson did a good job in the movie. It's
just nobody cared. Nobody wanted to see it. I
think Dwayne Johnson's star is fading. Yeah,
well, I think so, too. People don't care anymore.
I mean, he's been forgotten. Yeah. The Running
Man had a $110 million budget, brought in about
$68 million. Big -budget action film that really,
really underperformed expectations. Entered the
theaters, exited almost immediately. Because
you can make $30, $40 million in an opening weekend
even with a crap movie. Because enough people
will go see it before the word gets out that
it's a piece of junk. Sidney Sweeney starred
in a movie called Christy with a $15 million
budget. Despite her star power, the boxing biopic
bombed, grossing only $2 million for a $15 million
investment. Cool. Alto Knights for a $45 million
budget. Robert De Niro gangster film that failed
to generate any audience interest. I believe
that. Can you even look at Robert De Niro now
and think anything like that? No. I look at him
and think pathetic, old, whiny, little crybaby.
Which is a shame because I like the movie Godfather
2. I do too. And he's a big part of that, but
I don't know that I can watch it anymore because
I know what a whiny old... It's not believable
now. No. It's not believable. No. Let's see.
Hurry Up Tomorrow was a project by music star
The Weeknd. Failed to draw crowds. Lost its whole
$15 million budget. Captain America, Brave New
World. Nobody knows exactly how much they spent
on it, but it underperformed for a Marvel blockbuster,
earning $415 million globally, but they spent
more than that, and they expected it to do better
than that. So $415 million is still a lot of
money, but they were expecting way more from
it. They're saying that audience disinterest
in high -profile stars like Dwayne Johnson, Jared
Leto, and Robert De Niro failed to boost their
respective films, and there's a lot of franchise
fatigue. People are really tired from sequels
and reboots. Oh, I bet they are. Yeah. Thank
God people are finally getting tired of that,
because I was tired of it five years ago. Yeah,
so was I. Well, and another thing is they changed
the story and the characters way too much. Yeah.
To where it's not even nearly the same story,
and they try to get their little fucking messages
that they want across, which makes the fucking
movie boring. Yeah, yeah. And a lot of times
even people that agree with the message and like
the message find it very boring to be lectured
to in a movie theater. Exactly, yeah. And you're
right. It's not whether you believe the message
or not. What it is is the fact that they put
it in there. Yeah, yeah. Like protest music is
a good example. There's protest music that even
if you don't support the cause, it's still a
really good piece of music. Yeah. And there's
other protest music that is... And even though
you think the cause is right, you're ashamed
that that piece of crap is now associated with
your cause. Yeah, it's like, man, why did you
do that? Yeah, I agree. It's like, you know,
painting your graffiti in human shit. Like, dude,
why did you have to do that? It was fun. Now
you completely fucked it up. Yeah, that'd be
a good way to put it is, you know, soapbox, you
know, political messages in social issue messages
in movies is like painting a really pretty picture
in shit. It is. It's just, it's not going to
work out. No. It's not, no. Nope. So, anyway,
I'll see you the next, I've got another one about
TV shows that were. Big Then Disappear that I've
got a list of TV shows that were cancelled before
the very first airing, but we can save that until
next time if you like. Okay. Yeah, yeah. No,
we're just on a time limit today. That's why
I asked. Yeah. We've got to be out of here by
2 by 2. Yeah. So we probably would have about
an hour 40. Yep. Not bad. Okay. All right. And
I got to go pee again. Okay. So yeah, let's go
ahead and just, uh, anyhow, everybody, thank
you for listening. We really appreciate it. You
guys are telling people and the numbers are fantastic.
I mean, we really thank you guys very much for
listening and telling people and go fuck yourself.