Well, well, well. We see you made it back. That's
right. It's time for your favorite podcast, Two
Douchebags and a Microphone, live from the historic
river market in downtown Kansas City, Missouri,
but only on Tuesdays and sometimes Wednesdays.
Otherwise, you get live from the Duck Wine Studio
in Wheatland, Missouri, and the Talk is Cheap
studio from Extreme Southern Tent for the Kansas
City Metroplex and the surrounding areas. Let's
grab a seat and see what kind of garbage they
throw at us today. Enjoy. Welcome again. We're
happy you chose us. Come on in. Wash yourself
off. Would you enjoy a bourbon and coke? There's
a liquor store down the road. If you go, I need
rolling papers. Well, since you're here, let's
get this daily douchebag pledge out of the way.
All right, bitches, swing your hips and pelvic
thrust. Shout it out with me. I, Joe or Jane
Listener, promise to download every podcast.
I, Joe or Jane Listener, promise to make all
friends, family members and workmates download
this show. I, Joe or Jane Listener, promise to
grab idle computers, work computers, friends
computers, community computers and other assorted
phones and listening devices and download the
show from there. I, Joe or Jane Listener, will
download the show. and constantly barrage everyone
with show name and platforms. I, Joe or Jane
Listener, promise to wear a chicken costume and
scream the show's name from my front yard. And
finally, because of our 13 -year -old boy humor,
we must go to Knobloch Cooter Licking in Uranus,
Missouri to take selfies with the signs. If you
go to Uranus, go to the fudge factory. Yes, there's
a fudge factory in Uranus. No joke. Here at Two
Douchebags and a Microphone, we don't stand behind
our journalistic integrity. Go ahead and assume
we got the story wrong. At least we admit it.
Not like all those other guys, we can and will
lie if it makes the story better. Two Douchebags
and a Microphone. Heya, Yankers. We often think
many things are just true because we've heard
it our whole lives. That's why here at Two Douchebags
and Microphone, we developed the segment, Not
True. We investigate and uncover the real truth
of what happened. We've heard for years that
Einstein was so intelligent he could not figure
out how to tie his shoe. The fact is, he disliked
wearing socks. He would put socks over his shoes
to avoid tying them. He believed tying shoelaces
was an incredible waste of time. So were Crocs
when Einstein needed them. Since the dawn of
time, weird shit has happened. Strange occurrences,
unexplained phobias, and other odd happenings.
Over the next minute, we would like to bring
you odd, rare phobias and conditions. Hutchinson
-Gilford Progeria Syndrome. Cases known on Earth
100 to possibly 150. This causes young children
to age quickly, such as hair loss, thin, fragile
skin, and cardiovascular issues, while the child's
mental capacity stays the same. There is unknown
cure and very little treatment options. Strange,
but true. The town car President Kennedy was
shot and murdered in was cleaned up and reused
to serve President Johnson, President Nixon,
President Ford, and eventually President Carter.
Here we go. Silence. That you might be a person.
Shuttleboxed in public. Wore cowboy boots with
shorts. Owned an F -350 that doesn't have mud
on it. Days in front of the mirror at the gym.
Did the Macarena. Uses the phrase circle back.
Says right meow instead of right now. Here at
2 Douchebag Central, we needed a voice for common
sense since none of us fit that bill. We opted
for another voice. So here I am, Mr. Buford T.
Rasputin. DeCarlos Brown Jr. in late 2025 was
released on a promise to appear by Magistrate
Judge Teresa Stokes. despite having 14 prior
arrests. Following his release, he stabbed to
death Irina Zarytska to death at a light rail
station. Jason Ayala, New York, New York. In
January 2025, Judge Robert Rosehensel granted
Ayala supervised release while he was awaiting
violent forced robbery charges. The following
day, Ayala allegedly committed a sexual assault
spree. molesting two children and three adult
women within a 30 -minute window. There are literally
hundreds more over that span of a couple of years,
so that's where this fine show comes in. We introduce
to you the Adopt -a -Judge program. This would
be a true way to measure if a judge is willing
to guarantee the criminal has reformed. The program
is simple. A judge lets a violent criminal out
early or on a signature bond or whatever. The
said judge has to sign responsibility papers
to ensure that his convict will not partake in
heinous acts. The released convict would also
have to live with that judge until the victim's
family okays the person for a regular life and
can leave the judge's dwelling. This has been
Buford T. Rasputin signing off with your Common
Sense Moment. Get on out of here so mama can
make some pancakes, boy. Two douchebags and microphone.
I am Mark here in the Kansas City Metroplex,
the extreme southern tip of... at the Talk is
Cheap studio. And hi, I'm Rob at Wheatland, Missouri,
home of the magnificent Lucas Oil Speedway and
water track, and also home of the Camosa Country
Store, where you can find all your needs, including
a selfie with the green Sinclair Dinosaur with
a huge penis. And by the way, yes, there are
cars running on Lucas Oil Speedway right now.
Yeah, we're hoping. We're hoping to pick a little
of them. I can hear them. I'm hoping we can pick
them up over behind. But I'm on the opposite
side of the house. Yeah, damn it. I can't hear
it. It would be a nice little added addition,
wouldn't it, to just hear a little... every now
and then, but... Well, you know, I could go downstairs,
but walk out the front door, but then I've got
to go through five doors. Oh, yeah, you know
what? Maybe not. Maybe not. I'm better off upstairs.
Yeah, you probably are. Oh, well. So, you know,
like I said during the Douchebag Gangbang Sunday
night show, we have COVID in the household, so
this means a whole lot of nothing. But we did
strike gold on TV, Rob. Oh, really? Yeah. Ozark
Law, Bike Week. Right on. Oh, I'm telling you.
Go to Amazon, Facebook Reels, YouTube, whatever
you have to do to watch the damn thing. All the
good shit. What was it I was watching, Mom? I
can't remember what I was watching, Mom, before
I moved. I think you can get them on... Not only
are they on Jews, I think it's Reels. The channel
that it's on, I think R -E -E -L -Z, possibly.
I think that's what channel it's on, Reels. But
also, my understanding is you can find it on
Amazon, Facebook Reels. Facebook Reels, not Reels,
the channel. Oh, really? Facebook Reels. That's
what I've heard. And maybe not the full episode,
but excerpts of it that are really good. I'll
let you know. And then YouTube. I've been watching
a lot of Facebook Reels. Okay. Well, whatever
you do. Get to it. All the good shit, the fights,
people partying in truck beds. But the best was
this chick fight. The chick fight was pretty
fucking epic, Rob. Yeah, the chick fight was
much better than the man fight. You know, the
man fight is, you know, someone fucking gets
their ass beat, you know, and then the other
guy's over there screaming, oh yeah, come back,
but you know, all that stupid shit. Where women,
they don't stop. One of them would knock the
other one to the ground. The other one, they'd
get back up. Didn't matter what it took. They
would get back up somehow. And then the other
chick would be walking off. The other chick would
run over there and just start banging the shit
out of her. I mean, it was just classic. Yeah,
I love it. Oh, yeah. They featured the bar that
almost got my ass kicked in because of my old
friend Jenny, who liked to get very mischievous,
to put it lightly. It's a biker bar in the strip.
I think it was called Stars and Stripes back
then. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. What's the name of
it now? Shit, I can't remember. I just saw it
the other night. But I believe it was called
Stars and Stripes. That sounds probably about
right. That's where I see that one comedian that
did the... You did it for contributions for cancer.
Okay, well, if it wasn't... If it wasn't Icehole,
Icehole was part of that whole thing. They showed
it. So I do remember that name, but it very well
could be Icehole. But, you know, it looks exactly
the same, only the name's different. It's got
the same front porch on the strip and all that.
And like I said, that's where my friend Jenny
tried to get my ass kicked, which sucked very
bad because it's a biker's bar, like I said,
you know, and we go in there. And we go to the
back courtyard in back. And she goes, oh, I'll
go get our drinks. Okay, well, I guess she has
money. All right. Very cool. So I'm like, all
right, you know, I'll save my money for later.
And, you know, we'll buy drinks later tonight
or food, you know, or whatever. So no big deal,
you know. So we're just spending the weekend
there. So she's gone for like 10 minutes, and
I'm like, hmm. I go, all right, you know, whatever.
So I'm back there. I think I was smoking a cigar,
so I didn't want to get up and check on her,
right? So the next thing I know, she comes back
with like four drinks. I'm like, wow, that's
pretty fucking impressive. Buying four drinks
at a time for us, cool. So this happens, I don't
know, four or five times in a row. All of a sudden,
this big biker walks back, and he points at me.
He looks at her. He goes, who's that? And she
goes. Oh, that's my brother. Now, we weren't
going together or nothing, right? We were just
kind of like hanging out, kind of friends, benefits
type of deal, right? And I'm like, oh, fuck.
I knew what she did. She was up there getting
drinks from him, acting like she was going to
go home with him, right? And they had no idea
I was back there. And she goes, oh, that's my
brother. He goes, oh, bullshit. He goes, if that's
your brother, then kiss me. And I looked at her,
I go, kiss him? So she gives a little peck. Anything
for getting my ass kicked. My ass kicked. So
he's really getting ready to kick my ass. He's
pissed because he thinks I'm in on it, right?
And I'm like sitting there going, mother fuck,
how did I get myself in this stuff? I mean, I
had no idea, literally. So finally, this. One
of the, I don't know, the biker chicks is in
there coming back. She said something about,
oh, Ragdoll or something. It's some weird name.
She goes, hey, Ragdoll just fell down. I think
he broke his arm or something. Something was
going on or a fight. And he goes, you stay right
here. So I fucking run. I jump that fence. And
Jenny's like, yeah. And Jay's like, where are
you going? I go, you're jumping over or you're
staying and answering the fucking questions.
She got over. And we ran back to the hotel. Luckily,
the hotel was only about, I don't know, four
blocks down. By the time we got there, you know,
I know the guy was looking for us because he
was really pissed. But anyhow, it was... They
do not mess around out there. No, no. And if
I was him, I would have thought the same thing.
Oh, this guy thinks I'm a sucker. He's sending
his girl to go get drinks for me. And then he's...
Back here drinking them. I would have thought
the same thing, right? Wouldn't have you? Yeah.
Yeah. And I like thinking, I really had nothing
to do with it, but it didn't matter at that time.
He was still going to kick my ass. He's a huge
guy, and there was like 10 of them inside. Let's
say I could kick his ass. Yeah. You were by yourself.
Yes. Let's say I could kick his ass. Let's say
I just got lucky and beat him up, okay? Got a
sucker punch him. The rest of them are coming
back there and go, hey! And then I'd get my ass
whipped anyhow, so why even fucking bother? So
we took off, and anyhow, from then on, I made
sure if I went anywhere with her, she was not
fucking leaving. We didn't go to any biker bars
after that. We didn't go, no. We went to restaurants
where they probably wouldn't be at and had food
there, but anyhow. So anyhow, another little
thing I'd like to go into here is Val likes to
watch the world news to see what's going on in
the world. I support her being informed, but
she watches ABC World News, which I can't stand.
I know, I know, I know. You can't change your
wife's mind. I already know that. You cannot
change your wife's mind. Yeah, she doesn't feel
like they do, no. But she likes watching them
for whatever reason. Maybe she thinks they have
better coverage. She makes up her own mind or
something. I don't know. But, yeah, but like
you said, you know, I'm not going to sit there
and argue with her about it constantly or nothing.
It's like, all right, you want to watch that
garbage? Okay, go ahead, you know. So what they
did was I was sitting on the couch and I hear
this teaser before they go to commercials. And
they said, just what did? Justin Timberlake say
when he was pulled over for the DUI arrest. And
this is pertaining to his 2020 traffic stop,
which he earned his first DUI and I think his
only one, okay? So I'm like, okay, well, this
is a few years late, but I mean, this footage
just came out, right? So we waited through all
the commercials only to hear what he said to
the arresting officer, Rob. You know what he
said? I'm Justin Timberlake. That's it. So he
wasn't trying to get out of it. He wasn't trying
to get out of it or nothing. He was just trying,
and he wasn't trying to name drop himself. He
was letting the guy know, going, hey, I'm not
giving you a fake license. I am really Justin
Timberlake, okay? Yeah. And so you could see...
He could do this time or two. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So you could see him doing that. So anyhow, ABC
News will do anything, it looks like to me, to
get you to stay on board and not turn the channel
off. I was just like going, that was it. So then
after that, I'm watching another show, and they
started going into more stuff about the whole
incident. And he said a lot more than that. That
was all that ABC News was willing to put out
there. And it was lame, and it was nothing. And
I was like thinking, shit, if you're going to
do that, at least... you know, at least put all
of it out there. Don't just put, go, I'm Justin
Timberlake, and then just cut it. So, anyhow,
ABC World News is as worthless as I thought,
in my opinion, and I just thought that bared
mention. So, anyhow, let's see, but speaking
of that, speaking of ABC News, we go into Frozen
Mouse Brains. Yeah. Okay, frozen mouse brains
revived from cryosleep is a scientific first.
In a breakthrough that sounds ripped straight
from a Ridley Scott flick, research in Germany
have managed to freeze brain tissue to ultra
-cold temperatures and bring it back with key
signs of life still flickering, including electrical
activity linked to learning and memory. So, okay,
you know what they're talking about, Rob. You
know, like, I think Ted Williams had his head
frozen, right? Was it Casey Kasem did, too? There's
quite a few famous people. I think Walt Disney
may. I'm not for sure. There's quite a few. Yeah,
I don't know if that's true or not about Walt
Disney, but I believe the other ones did, as
far as I can tell. Because I believe Casey Kasem
had that big ordeal. Or was it Ted Williams?
Maybe it's Ted Williams. One of them, like, they
accidentally turned the plug off or something,
and his whole face rotted, his brain rotted or
whatever, right? And that was a big deal. So...
I think it was. So if it wasn't, look it up.
I apologize. So, all right. The feat detailed
in a new study published in the journal Proceedings
of the National Academy of Sciences suggests
that one day scientists will be able to place
brain tissue or even entire organs into a deep
freeze and revive them later without wrecking
the delicate circuitry that makes them tick.
Originally reported by nature .com. and this
has been a long sticking point, is they've been
able to preserve it, but to keep it to where
it can come back and be functional was the problem,
right? Right. Well, it sounds like this deal
here, they kind of got through it here, or at
least somewhat. They're definitely making progress,
it sounds like. Yes, they are, and it really
makes you wonder what it's going to come to.
I mean, all right. I'll go into a little bit
more of this here in a minute, but I got a question
for you, Rob. Okay, let's say they have this
brain that can function normal, right? And it
knows where it's at and all that stuff. It can't
see probably or anything. It doesn't have eyes.
You know, it's just a brain as far as I can tell.
Okay, so then what? Do they implant that brain
in another body? I mean, I don't know where it
goes from here. Or is that brain just alive and
it just sits there? And is aware and conscious.
I don't understand. I would say they would probably
transplant. Okay. So... Get a new brain. Get
a new brain. Okay. Yeah, me too. I mean, this
is really interesting stuff, and it's dynamic
stuff. I mean, it's like pretty advanced stuff,
for sure. But when biological tissue freezes
the old -fashioned way, water inside cells crystallizes
into jagged ice shards. The shard membranes then
sever the microscopic connections between neurons
in the brain. These connections are everything,
the infrastructure behind thought, memory, and
consciousness. To dodge that icy death spiral,
neurologists at the University of Nuremberg turned
to a technique known as vitrification, a rapid
cooling method that transforms a liquid into
a glass -like state before ice crystals can form.
Instead of freezing it into rigid ice, the tissue
becomes workable and it isn't damaged to where
it doesn't function anymore. So, I got a question
for you, Rob. Let's say you get a chance to do
that. and they go, okay, let's say you're on
your deathbed, and the doctor comes in and goes,
Mr. Radford, would you be interested in having
your brain kept alive so maybe we can bring it
back later? What do you think about that? I mean,
me, I think I'm a no on that. I think I'll just
go ahead. I believe in the afterlife. I think
I'll go ahead and experience that. Yeah, I'd
have to say no. Yeah. I mean, you don't know
what that's going to lead to. I mean, wouldn't
you basically be a captor in a jar or something?
And then, like, if no one wanted to have your
brain or whatever, you'd never have a body, so
you'd just sit there? I mean, I understand they're
wanting this technology to help save lives and
all that in the future, but I don't understand
what this brain sitting in a jar stuff really
is about. Do you have an idea, possibly? No,
I don't know. Just people trying to play God,
maybe? It's something I am not into, so yeah,
I have no explanation. No, I'm really not into
it that much either. I mean, I just found this
article and I found it interesting. I thought
this would be something to... kind of talk about
for a little bit and just, you know, and I probably
should have saved it. Well, nah, the gangbang's
a totally different show. We're not that serious
usually. So, maybe I should have saved this for
Topher. I'll probably bring this with me and
then Friday when we're down at the city market,
I'll bring this up to him and get his thoughts
on it too. I'm sure he would have something completely
different because, you know, he's got a different
thought process than us, which is great. Right.
So, All right. Well, Rob, I'm done with all of
my stuff to start off with. Let's go to you.
Okay. I really wish I was sitting out front right
now because they are boring. Do you want to walk
out there real quick? No, no, no, no, no, no,
no. It ain't happening. Okay. And I got this
over here. Okay. Well, I'll tell you what. I
will come back to that one. Because I want to
go into something else. Okay, go ahead. Here
it is. I got it right here. Okay. And this is
Lake of the Ozarks. Okay. Down on the strip,
just right where you were talking about. Oh,
yeah. Yep. A Lake Ozark man was charged with
two misdemeanors after he was accused of exposing
himself at a Miller County bar on Friday. Jeremy
Torpening, 38, was charged on Saturday after...
resisting arrest and first -degree sexual misconduct.
He was arrested but posted a $2 ,000 bond, according
to Mundine Court of Violence. Initial court appearance
is scheduled for 9 a .m. Wednesday, May 3rd.
The probable cause statement says police were
called at 10 .48 p .m. to Marty Bird's in 1200
Bogdan, Magnaldown Boulevard. Yes? The Marty
Burns. Is this their bar, really? Is this really,
what's his name's bar? Yeah, they named the bar
Marty Burns after the show. Ozark, okay. Ozark,
yeah. Okay, cool. Where a security guard and
multiple patrons report seeing Torquening expose
himself. He was found in another... nearby bar,
S -N -A -F -U, and was ordered to come outside
by police, the statement says. Okay. Okay. Yeah,
I had to talk. I'm sorry. Oh, okay. No, that's
fine. I thought the connection lost. That's all.
No, no, no. I had to talk. Okay. Interpreting
allegedly started resisting when police tried
to detain him. the statement says. The police
used a snow gun. The torpening was not affected,
court documents say. He then ran away, but was
later found behind walk and roll, the statement
says. While torpening was being booked into the
jail, police received a call about a 2018 Ford
F -150 Raptor being damaged during the arrest,
the statement says. Oh, yeah. Okay. Well, that
guy's got interest. Okay. Yeah, I mean, that's
how crazy it gets. Just think, this is only March.
Oh, I know, I know. Well, the weather's been
so nice and hot. People are already down there
partying their eyes off. It's going to get crazy.
Oh, gosh, this year's going to be stupid. Oh,
yeah. That's why I'm glad I moved over here to
get away from the traffic. Oh, gosh, yeah. That
whole area gets so congested. Oh, geez. No, you
know what? I think it's going to be a really
hot, dry year, by the way it's starting out.
And everyone flocks to the lakes and everyone
drinks and gets stupid. I mean, you know, I think
the footage that I watched on Ozark Law was probably
from last year because it looked like dead of
summer, you know, so. It probably takes a little
while to do it. It was probably even a rerun
because I haven't been watching it solid. Yeah.
Yeah, so anyhow. All right. Is that it, Rob?
That's it on that. Okay. Well, let's take our
first break and come back. Sounds good. All right.
I'm going to sit in front of the pan. I'm sweating.
Okay. That sounds good. All right. We'll be right
back, everybody. Two douchebags, a microphone,
and an effort to keep everything fresh. We offer
you first world problems. What in the devil?
My bank is really out of calendars. What do they
expect me to do? Go to Walmart and buy a $3 calendar?
This is complete bullshit. I am outraged. This
is Joshua Belmont, your food for thought man
on The Hustle. Today, we would like to celebrate
Mr. Timothy J. Brottux. who is credited for the
invention of two -ply toilet paper. Because of
you, Timmy, we no longer have to spend ten minutes
scrubbing our fingernails after every dump. Mr.
Bratox, you are a true hero. These guys are inviting
as a used hypodermic needle. Our constant pursuit
for a real knee slapper. It's strange insults
from an alien. Real hilarity. Hey, your headphones
snag on every door handle. Hey there. We all
have those annoying co -workers that do nothing.
There's nothing we can do about it because HR
departments are running scared of lawyers. So
we have to work with these worthless pieces of
garbage. But we have to communicate about them
without them knowing about it. Here at Two Douchebags
Microphone, we developed a way that you can speak
about them right in front of them without them
knowing about it. Stay tuned. First code name,
Absolute Zero. They contribute nothing and effectively
stop all molecular motion in the project. Dark
matter. You know they're there. They take up
space, but they provide no light and cannot be
observed during actual work. Static. High noise.
Zero signal. Stays in one place. Event Horizon.
Once a task enters their orbit, it is never seen
again. How about Buffer? They take 20 minutes
to process a 5 second request. The Screensaver.
Looks like they're working, but as soon as you
touch them, they disappear. Cloud Mode. Just
floating around, vague, and nobody knows what
they actually do. And finally, 404. Task not
found. Stay tuned for more of these gems. And
now, Deep Thoughts with Mark. Should I throw
away all my socks, then only buy 30 pair of one
kind of sock? Will they eventually not match
up? Hmm. I may never know. And now, we look in
on the adventures of the Technical Explanation
Guy. Why, excuse me, my dear chap, could you
please pass the sodium chloride? Do you mean
the salt? Why, yes. Yes, I do. Then just say
the salt, you dumb motherfucker. Hey, my fellow
heavy breeders, this is Dash Riptide, your music
news. According to TMZ, Puddle of Mud frontman,
Wes Scandling. will not be serving any jail time
in relation to the domestic violence and drug
possession charges. In obtained documents, it's
revealed that the singer will instead enter a
one -year diversion program and been ordered
to enter a drug rehab program. The judge accepted
a plea deal with Scantling, taking the steps
as laid out by the court. May 29th. He reports
on his progress to the court system. This is
Gash Riptine, and that was your music news. If
it's too loud, you'd probably have ear damage,
just like me. Hey, all you ginger snaps. It's
time for the douchebag question of the week.
Turn all answers into two douches at mail .com.
Spell out the number two. Send in your replies
or Rob will find you. He is waiting for the word.
Don't be bashful. You'll get yourself hurt. Should
a prison system that is about to execute a person
have to give them a last meal of their choice?
Or does the fact that the convict earned his
or her execution enhance the fact that they shouldn't
deserve a meal of their choice? Get on it now,
punk. We're in the Kansas City area at the Talk
is Cheap studio. All right. Thank you, Rob. All
right. I have some emails. You know what? Work
on it. I mean, I'm sure everybody else is probably
tired of hearing that anyhow. So even though
I think it's fun. Sunday night. Yeah, because
Sunday night we just don't have enough time as
it is. Yeah, you guys take that time. I know
it's October. At least it is. I know. I felt
bad. Here I am at the Paisley Possum studio.
Coffee's hot 24 -7. Yep, and always available
24 -7. Just south of the historic Waldo district
in Kansas City, Missouri. So, alright. Okay,
the first question. Mark, why is Caesar salad
named Caesar? Thank you. Roger in Salt Lake City.
Roger, you ask, we deliver. Good thing I looked
this over because I had a chance to look it up.
Okay, Caesar salad is named after Caesar Cardini.
1896 to 1956, an Italian -American chef and restaurateur
who invented the dish in 1924, not after Julius
Caesar, like everybody thinks. He created it
at his restaurant in Tijuana, Mexico, using limited
kitchen supplies during a busy Fourth of July
weekend. There you go. All that time, I thought
it was named after Caesar, you know, the, yeah.
Caesar Augusta. Yeah, Caesar Augusta. Yep, thank
you. But it is not. It's named after Caesar Cardini,
the chef that invented it, I guess. So, there
you go. Roger? I honestly thought it was John
Caesar from New York back in the 1920s. Oh, you
and I never even thought about that either. I
thought it was Caesar Romero. No. I liked Cesar
Romero. Wasn't he the Joker? Yeah, he was the
original Joker, wasn't he, on the Batman series
back in the 60s? Something like that. Oh, he
was so good. Anyhow. Yeah, if I saw that guy
in my dreams, I would shit the bed. Alright.
Rob, do you work with aluminum? If so, I have
a question. What type of welder do you use to
weld up aluminum? I need to find a place that
can help me. Terry in Memphis. Okay. No, we do
not weld aluminum. Well, you'd have to come from
Memphis. Yeah, yeah. But still, we do not weld
aluminum. We are an old school. If I read...
It's a Heliarc is what you use to weld up aluminum.
Yeah, I know. Yeah, it's not easy. It's hard
to do. The aluminum runs away from you as soon
as you start to melt it, as soon as you get a
spark. You've got to learn how to puddle it and
corral it correctly. I've done it for a while.
There's places that specialize in it, like Rob
was saying. Just look around. Look on the internet.
On the internet, I'll bet you you'll find one
pretty close to you. Yeah, I guarantee it. Yeah.
And it usually doesn't cost that much. If you're
talking about just a repair job, you can find
a small shop to do that probably. A couple hundred
bucks, I'm sure. It depends on what it is. So,
anyhow, yeah. So, Terry, yeah, just look it up.
All right. Anything else for us? I wish I could
help you, Terry. I mean, you'd have to come from
Memphis all the way to Wheatland. Camden, Missouri.
Oh, Camden, yeah. Camden, I'm sorry. That's where
I work. Which is about five hours, probably.
Something like that. At least. Yeah, at least.
Probably more because of the hills and everything.
There's not an easy way to get there. I mean,
you go to 55 to I -44, but you have to go up
to the north considerably before I -44 cuts into
I -55 where it connects. Right. Yeah, so it takes
quite a while. Otherwise, you go through the
hills, and the hills, you don't want to go through
them either. Right. All right. Mark, do you have
the music creeps you pulled off the iTunes site?
I can't find it now. Tony in Kansas. Tony, I
never pulled one off of the iTunes site. I don't
know which one you're talking about. I mean,
I guess it's possible that they found something
they didn't like and pulled it themselves. I
don't know. But it wasn't me, and there's so
many of them, I don't know which one it is. I
mean, if I get a chance, what I'll do, Tony,
is this right here, because I have your email.
If I can look back there and see the sequence
of the numbers, like, you know, Season 12, Episode
14, if I see one missing, I'll look and see if
that's it, you know, and then I will send you,
I'll either send you the file, depending on your
email, or I'll tell you what episode it is so
you can go to RSS or Amazon or something and
get it through there. But as far as... iTunes
pulling it, I have no knowledge of that at all.
So I'm not sure. TuneIn usually could have been
there too. Yeah, TuneIn has all our stuff too.
That's who I listen to. Yeah, TuneIn is the easiest
one to me. Another thing that I like is whenever
you listen on TuneIn, you come right back and
it's where you left off. Exactly. And then when
you're done with that, if there's a newer episode,
it will go right straight into that. So, Tony
in Kansas, there you go. I'll look. When I get
a chance, I probably will in the next couple
of days. I'll take a look. All right. Thank you.
Thank you for your interest, Tony. We appreciate
it. All right. Hey, guys. You guys have not mentioned
the NCAA tournament going on right now. Why?
Barb in Ontario. Probably because I don't give
a shit. What about you, Rob? No, no. I used to
be a lot bigger into basketball, pro, and college,
but now football is all I really like anymore.
I don't watch very much of anything else anymore.
I just don't have enough time. So football is
my sport, and that's what I allot time to. So
that's why you don't hear about it, Barb. I mean,
if you want to hear the NCAA tournament, you
have so many outlets. There's so many sports
stations in America. There's so many networks.
You can get all that information. You don't need
us for that. But keep listening. All right. Let's
see. Oh, this next one. Come on, you dickheads.
Toenail fungus should have won hands down on
biggest threat. Just saying. Mitch, Lake Freeman
stud and excellent log furniture crafter. Hey,
I need some log furniture. Okay, well, Mitch
is a toenail fungus. Yeah, definitely. Yeah,
yeah, yeah. Just saying. Love you, Mitch. Mitch,
I hope your toenail fungus spreads. I'm going
to take you. We're probably going to take the
manager. Manager, whatever you call it. Yeah.
I hope your toenail fungus spreads to your genitals.
Oh, come on. You know what? No, he's a good listener.
He may not like me, but he listens. I'm sorry,
Mitch. I hope you get it cured and you feel great.
I apologize. Besides, you listen for Rob, anyhow.
You don't listen for me. You don't care what
I say. It's all right. I'll be up there. Oh,
there you go, Mitch. Mitch, you ought to meet
up with him. There you go. Rob is also an expert
on foot fungus. He took classes. Yes. He's really
good at it. He's cured some really horrible cases.
So, I mean... Yeah, yep. Yep, there you go, Mitch.
So there you go. I don't know how you knew that,
but great job, Mitch. You identified the guy
that knows. Actually, you cured mine, Rob. Thank
you. I appreciate it. Yeah. You're welcome. Yours
was a simple case. Yeah, I know. It just took
that ointment that you made a couple of times,
and now it's gone. I mean, they look great. Yeah,
and I've seen Mitch's. Oh, it's going to take
some work. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it looks like, I keep
mentioning Dumb and Dumber, but that's a great
movie, where they're like, that lady takes that
grinder, that flat grinder to his toenails. Yeah.
Yeah, it's kind of like that. Yeah, yeah, it's
going to take some work. Maybe a jackhammer,
sulfuric acid, I don't know. Yeah. So, all right.
And then finally, the other day, a laundromat
I go to started a tip jar for the change slash
janitor guy. Tipping is out of control. Meg in
Lincoln Park. And that is in response to our
question of the week about tipping. I would agree.
Yeah. Everybody wants to tip anymore. I believe
that the question of the week, did you hear it
yet, Rob, or not? Okay, the question of the week
basically says that, you know, this started during
COVID. You started tipping the to -go orders
when you didn't used to have to. And now it's
sprawled into everything, even self -checkouts.
Some of them prompt you for a tip. And all it
was asking was this right here. The question
of the week last week was saying, has tipping
gone too far? Yes, I think so too. I agree, too.
And who was it? Meg in Lincoln Park. We agree
with you 100%, and that is a great example. I
mean, you know, you've got a guy there that works
at a laundromat, and that's his job, and he's
not necessarily doing anything for you unless
you need change. I mean, you know, yeah, no.
No, he shouldn't get tips just like so many other
people did, just like these to -go orders should
not get tips. It's just the way it is. If you
don't want to work for that amount of money,
don't. But it shouldn't be up for us to pay your
salary. And if you don't like doing it, go do
something else. That simple. So, anyhow, that's
the end of the email. So, Rob, I think you might
have something for us. Yeah, I do, but it's not
what you're expecting. Oh, no bag of garbage?
Not tonight. I'm going to save that for Sunday.
Okay, that's cool. I've got too many other stories
I've got to get out. That sounds cool. This one
came out four days ago. And it's our good old
buddy Shia LaBeouf. Oh, again. Again. Yes. All
right. Oh, dude. Okay. Shia LaBeouf seemingly
lost his cool while in Rome, appearing agitated
with a woman sitting next to him outside a restaurant.
The controversial actor responded, hanging out
in Italy's capital earlier this week, sitting
at a table in a t -shirt and jeans and sipping
out of a bottle. And there is a video on TMZ
that shows this whole thing. It says, check out
this video. He's talking adamantly to this woman
before loudly yelling fuck off ever despite his
anger she appears relatively unfazed not moving
muscle while he stares her down later on the
video picks up with Shia screaming in the street
pacing around a crosswalk and yelling in a general
direction it's unclear if he's yelling at the
same woman or someone else as you know Shia has
had a concerning few weeks Beginning with his
arrest for battery in New Orleans last month,
he was allowed to travel the world despite the
arrest, where he was filmed walking around a
hotel lobby in just his underwear. There is a
video of that, too. I believe it. Okay. reports.
I've been all over you on this. I've done a lot
of thinking about this. I don't think your problem
is addiction. I don't think your problem, you
know, alcohol, drugs, whatever. I definitely
debunked your story about small man syndrome.
Totally debunked that one. I honestly think he
has an anger issue. No, I think you're right,
too. And I love what you said about it. You debunked
it. It's not small man syndrome. He's got...
No, no, I mean, this is two different things
since the New Orleans that he said he had small
man. Yeah. And this is two things within a week
and a half. Yeah, and another thing I'd like
to stress here is there's a difference between
admitting you have a problem and doing something
about it. There are two different things. You
can say, yeah, yeah, I got small man disease.
Okay, so let's say that isn't true. Then go get
help. Go do something about it. Anyhow. Honestly,
I really believe. That would not surprise me
at all. Look at all the childhood stars that
have... What did he do? I didn't even see. from
state to state, got picked up with his ex and
kids. Uh -huh. And he's shorter, and he's just
trying to be a good dad. Oh. Okay. All right.
And this is the same woman that he assaulted.
Okay. Yeah, Rob, I think... Nobody wants state
to state. Yeah, no, that's... Yeah, I don't...
Not supposed to leave state, though. Well, I
mean, you know, so many things happen to childhood
stars all the time. Sexual abuse, mental abuse.
There are a lot of things behind the scenes that
happen. And you listen to people like Corey Feldman
or any of the others that come out. You understand
it. And that's why I'm starting to ease up on
Shia. Because I'm starting to feel bad for the
dude. He has a major anger problem that needs
to be dealt with. Brother, I hope you shy up.
Brother, I hope you get it dealt with. You are
a great actor. You need to get back to acting.
Quit ruining your thing. Well, yeah, I mean,
the guy's going to... Actually, more and more,
you know. It's going to end even worse than it
already has, is the whole thing. The bottom line
is... I guarantee he's probably looking for jail
time, too. Yeah, yeah, and... Will it cure him?
I doubt it. Does it seem like it? He has an anger
problem. I take it he won't fit in in jail. I
take it he won't lie in jail, because he can
fucking fight in jail. I think he needs to join
Fight Club is what he needs to do. Yeah. Or join
the Maranuckle Fighting Organization. Something
like that, yeah. Fight legally, not on the street.
Yeah, yeah. At least make money off of it, come
on. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, not pay money and go to
jail. Yeah. All right. Is that it, Rob? Yeah,
that's it. All right. This week. This week. This
week, yeah, we'll see. All right. We're going
to take our second break and come back, and I've
got a story for everybody here I found interesting
about aliens. All right, cool. All right. And
the kind from space. So we'll talk to you guys
here in a minute. When everything is coming your
way, you're in the wrong way. Hey peeps, it's
time for the police blotter. That's right stories
about stupid criminals and the dumbassness that
ensued. Let us begin now. Anthony Sapienza, 63.
was charged with two counts of felony battery
on February 8th in Port Orange, Florida, after
a brawl broke out during a pickleball game at
the Spruce Creek Country Club. Julianne Sapienza,
51, was charged with a single count of felony
battery. The Sapienzas were playing against another
couple when an argument began about a rule. Words
were exchanged between the men when the accused
hit his opponent with his paddle, then punched
him on the ground. Before it was all over, 20
players were involved in the fight. The victim
was over the age of 65. Police needed a larger
paddy wagon for sure. Hey there, this is Buford
Rasputin, the common sense concierge. You ever
wake up in the bed of a 1978 Ford F -150 with
rusted out wheel wells? Well, so have I. While
there's nothing I can do about all those nice
little apology cards you're going to be handing
out and all that head pounding, the one thing
I can do is give you a list of dive bar do's
and don'ts. Stay tuned, little partner. Hey everybody,
this is Uncle Rob. I'm going to give you some
tips for life. Always have a sharp pair of large
scissors. Just for the... pizza without all the
cheese transferring to another slice. You're
welcome, world. Christopher, you know our elaborate
prank section, right? Okay, well, I've got one
for you. I never told you about Babble Snatch,
have I? No. Even if I did, just say I didn't
know that. He knows nothing about Babelsnatch.
Yeah, I would think I would remember a name like
Babelsnatch. Okay. Well, Babelsnatch, this is
back in the 80s, probably mid -80s, best guess.
Could have been 87 at the latest, but anyhow.
Yeah, I used to go to the 7 -Eleven in Belvedere,
which isn't there now. It was knocked down and
then replaced way later by a quick trip. But
anyhow, I used to go in there all the time and,
you know, go in there and buy sodas and shit
and whatever, you know, rolling papers for my
friends, not for me. And anyhow, you know, just
shit like that. So anyhow, there's this guy in
there. I don't know, you know, I think he hated
long hairs or something. But anyhow, I noticed
he was nice to everybody but me. Like I'd be
like third in line. And anyhow, you know, the
first guy, hey, Mr. Jones, how you doing? Oh,
man, yeah, nice weather. Hey, how's the kid?
You know, next person. Hi, Loretta, how you doing?
Oh, man, yeah, yeah, yeah. Everything's going
good, man. I got the old Taurus running really
good. Yeah, yeah, come by, man. The old Taurus.
Yeah, you know. I come up there. 142. So, how
you doing? 142. Okay, here you go. And I'm like,
what the hell? How come this guy hates me? And
every time I go in there, nice as pie to everybody
but me, it's like, just like, that'd be $2 .49.
So, weather's pretty nice out there. Thanks,
bye. I'm like, that motherfucker. So he did this
so many times and he just never talked to me.
He wouldn't even like hardly look at me, you
know. And I never did nothing to this fucker
that I know of. You know, maybe someone said
something like this guy said, you know, that
you're a... dick or maybe someone's screwing
with him like, hey man, he thinks you got a nice
ass. Who knows? Whatever the fucking deal was,
the guy was just a complete tool bag to me constantly.
So I was like, all right, bitch. So I go home
and I think about it. I'm like, okay. So I start
calling up and I go, hey, you got any Babble
Snatch gum? What? Babble Snatch. Everybody, I
mean, I bought it from there a couple of weeks
ago. Stuff is fucking awesome, man. I'll tell
you what, man, talk to your manager about it.
Is this like a breath freshening gum? I don't,
you know. Maybe a bubble gum? I just came up
with it. And anyhow, the guy, he bid on it, you
know. He was like, oh, yeah, I'll check on it
for you. That's awesome. Hey, thanks, man. I
appreciate it. So anyhow, so I called back a
little bit later. Yeah, someone called earlier,
you know. And anyhow, I'm sure we have it here
somewhere. But, you know, I'll talk to my manager
about it tonight, and we'll see what we can do.
So anyhow. I have a couple other people call
it about babble snatch gum and, you know, and
they're like, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, we're,
we're working on getting it in. Okay. You know,
the regional manager, we called him and he said
that he was going to work on getting it in here.
And, and I go, well, you know, I bought it the
other day and it's just so good. And they believe
me. I go, man, this gum is just so great tasting.
And he's like, it's babble snatch, right? Yeah.
Babble snatch. That's the name of it. Okay. All
right. I would have loved to listen to another
conversation when he's asking the regional manager.
about Babble Snatch. Oh, yeah. So, you know,
anyhow. I called down there the next day, and
I go, hey, man, you know, you got that babble
snatch gum? You know, the guy's like, oh, hang
on, hang on. I think it's in. We just had a load.
Hang on. So, anyhow, so the guy's like, you know,
and this is the guy I hated, the Paul guy. So,
anyhow, he's like, yeah, hang on a second. So,
I hear him like, yeah, hey, I'm going to go to
the back there, and it's in one of the boxes.
They said it was coming in today. So, all right,
no big deal. So, I hear him go back there. I
hear some rustling, and a couple people come
in. Then he stops. He goes up there. Oh, yeah,
it'll be 1242. Okay, thank you. Have a good day.
And then he helps someone else. I hear him go
back again. I hear him wrestling through some
more boxes. Meanwhile, I'm laughing my ass off.
Anyhow, this guy, he like for like 20 minutes
is looking for babble snatch gum. so anyhow so
like finally like a half hour later he comes
back he goes man he goes look i know we're gonna
have it in by the end of the day i talked to
my manager okay all right man all right i'll
come in tonight and i'll get some gum man save
some for me man okay My name's Billy. I'll be
in. Okay, okay, all right. I'll save you some
babble snatch gum. No problem. So a couple hours
later, I call up and I talk to the manager. The
manager's like, yeah, yeah, I ordered some a
couple days ago and it should be in. If it's
not in right now, it's going to be in by the
end of the day. I guarantee you. So I don't know
how the hell they ordered it because there was
no such thing as babble snatch gum. I made the
shut up and all of a sudden, I mean, everybody
wanted this fucking babble snatch gum. And it
never did exist. Matter of fact, this prank.
got so good to where i ended up this is you know
in the 80s before digital cameras even let alone
you know there are phone cameras and all the
you know photoshop and everything no internet
no we had to like cut stuff out of wrappers and
stuff and make a fake babble snatch gum and take
an old fashion fashion like Polaroid type of
picture. I forgot what it was. It could have
been one of those little box cameras back then.
Probably the only thing I could afford, you know.
Hey, we actually took a picture of the Babble
Snatch gum. And a guy went in there. He goes,
hey, man, I need this. The guy's like, I know,
I know, I know, man. We're working on getting
it in. It's hard to get, man. Everybody wants
this Babble Snatch gum. So anyhow, I guess the
whole moral of the story is don't be a dick to
me because then I'll do something like that.
And even now, to this day, I'll have a couple
people on my friends list every now and then
like, send me a little message, and it'll go,
Babble Snatch. I'm like, ah! I remember one time
I was working up in fucking New York or something,
and all of a sudden I get a ding, and I'm on
top of this fucking skyscraper they were putting
in glass, and I look down and it says, Babble
Snatch. I'm like, fuck! I'm up there dying in
this glass, about ready to fall and kill a hundred
people. They recover your body and they look
at your phone. Well, the last text you received
said Babble Snatch. We better look into this.
By some guy named Dirtbag. Yeah. So anyhow, that
is my elaborate prank section of this. Unless
we throw some more in there, but anyhow. Babble
Snatch. Never forget it. This name lives on.
Two douchebags and microphone. I am Mark here
in the Kansas City Metroplex at the Talk is Cheap
studio. And I am Rob in Wheatland, Missouri,
home of the fact episode with the Salt Speedway
and Water Track, and also home of the Vincamo
Country Store, where you can find all your needs,
including a selfie with the big, green, six -quarter
dinosaur with a huge penis. And the Doc Marks
video. All right, well, like I promised, I got
a story here about aliens that came from space.
New York jumps to number three for the U .S.
alien abductions. Experts reveal why it's such
a hot zone. The odds of a hostile close encounter
have reportedly never been higher in the Big
Apple. New York was named the third most likely
place to get abducted in the U .S. according
to gambling guide Casino .ca's annual ranking.
I didn't know they had a ranking, did you? I
did not know either. Now we do. What you conducted
to honor National Alien Abduction Day, yeah,
it's a real day, on March 20th. Glad I can see
it. March 20th. Yeah, me too. The Empire State,
no, that's 320, not 420. April would be 420.
Okay. Oh, well, close. That would be explained.
That would have been a better time for alien
abduction, but I guess not. The Empire State,
which moved up a stellar two spots from last
year, boasted a stagger in 8 ,314 UFO sightings
reported since 1974, or one for every 1 ,003
residents. You could get abducted in a New York
minute, is what they say. That places it just
behind Washington, and this is a state, not D
.C., 7 ,595 reported sightings, or one for every
977 people. The first place winner, Delaware.
I've been to Delaware a few times. I believe
it. One for every 928 residents, which is pretty
fucking a lot. California, despite having more
than its share of weird encounters, landed at
slightly more than respectable a number 22 on
the list, with one UFO sighting every 1 ,708
residents. For reference, the likelihood of getting
attacked by a shark clocks in at about 1 in 11
.5 million. So look how much more likely you
are to get abducted by an alien, or so they say,
right? Holy shit. Yeah. One in 1 ,003 residents
in New York, or one in 11 .5 million, of getting
a shark attacked. So, the gaming site said some
recent sightings in New York included a white
tic -tac -shaped object in the sky, and other
one witnesses a report of a silver orb flying.
College Planetarium told the Post. This would
be the New York Post, that's where I got this
from. They just look up and they don't recognize
something that's common. And they assume it is
a UFO. If it's an unidentified flying object,
it's a UFO. But whether it's outerly world or
not is the question. Anderson chalked up many
of these sightings to the fact that there are
so many people who are unfamiliar with stargazing.
They're not used to seeing something, so they'll
call it in because there are more people. There's
more chance of somebody looking up and seeing
something they don't recognize, he said. Whereas
out maybe in the Midwest, say, or something where
it's nice and dark, people are more nature -oriented.
They probably go out at night, look at the sky.
They become familiar with it, he continues, so
it's not as unusual to them. And no, it's not
just talking about abductions, part of it is,
but also it's talking about sightings. So it's
all of this together. And yeah, I agree with
that too. I mean, you know, out here, I mean,
well, not necessarily where I'm at now, even
though I'm in the extreme southern part of Kansas
City and it is a little bit more country out
here. It's easier when I lived in Cass County.
It's much easier to see the stars and to see...
You see satellites up there and there. I mean,
it's... Oh, dude. Yeah, there's a ton of them
in there. Oh, shit. It seems like all this...
You can't tell the constellations anymore. There's
so many damn satellites. Yeah, and that's bothersome
because I used to be able to go out there and
see the Big Bear and the Big Dipper and all that
stuff. Yeah, see, I thought it was just me. No,
I... There are so many damn satellites, you can't
tell what's what anymore, unless you could tell
a satellite from a star. No, even outer space
is polluted now. I mean, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, they're
all over the place, and it's no joke. I mean,
if you ever get, if you live in the city, we
have a lot of people listening out in the country.
We know this. We have a lot of people in Cass
County. That's a hotbed for our show. All you
guys, thank you very much. Especially Harrisonville.
An inordinate amount of people listen there,
and we appreciate you guys. Thank you. Yes, always.
So you guys are more apt to see this because
you go outside and you can see everything clearly.
When you live in the city, it's not that easy
to see everything. Light pollution prevents you
from seeing everything that you could see. Anyhow,
that's pretty much the story there. I thought
it was interesting. So, Rob, you got something?
All right. Oh, yeah, yeah, yep. Oh, yeah. Okay.
Okay. All right, keep going. confirmed in an
Instagram post that it had received multiple
calls from motorists on the interstate 4 about
the truck. Eventually, a driver, whom the FHP
referred to as Hashtag Rocket Man, was stopped
on SR -39 near Plant City, outside of Tampa.
Multiple agencies, including the Plant City Police
Department, Fire Department, Hillsborough County
Sheriff's Office established a perimeter around
the scene until the bomb squad arrived. Eventually,
the missiles were determined to simply be plastic
devices used for show and events, FHP wrote,
and that all was determined safe. Driver Michael
Dipper told authorities he had purchased the
missiles online. HB said the driver was sexually
advised on how to transport the model weapons
in the future. Hmm. Okay. Yeah. And they show
pictures of it. Cool. They do, yeah. They look
like pistols on the back of this truck. Cool.
Cool. All right. Is that it? Yeah, he shouldn't
have. That's a unique story. All right, I got
a Christopher Carroll, 36, was suspended from
his job as a paramedic with the Baltimore County
Fire Department and is facing 23 criminal charges
following inexplicable behavior at work and elsewhere.
WSFA -TV reported on February 7th, investigators
said Carroll, urinated in different spots all
over his workplace, including on his supervisor's
keyboard, in a pot of chili, in a coffee creamer,
and in an ice maker. Prosecutors said Carl urinated
onto the ice, wiped on a scoop, and used the
scoop to mix a urine throughout the ice, all
while filming himself. That's where he screwed
up. If you don't do it, there's no doing it,
dude. Whatever it is. Well, good point. You don't
video it. That's evidence. Yeah, so all they
had to do was grab his phone and go, okay, well,
here, you're doing it. So, yeah. Other targets
were someone's chapstick, a can of vegetables,
a carton of orange juice. Officials believe Carroll
was making videos to post online subscription
services, and he was denied bail. And I think
I agree with that. Fuck that guy. Geez. Yeah.
I mean, was he doing it for profit? I mean...
No, I think he had a fetish or something. Yeah,
yeah, and he decided he might make a little money
on the backside on a subscription service. Well,
it's kind of like that guy that did that at the
Hereford house up here that urinated and put,
I think, fecal matter, too, in people's food.
He was filming it and putting it on social media,
and I think that's what ended up getting him
busted. Right. Unfortunately, it made the whole
business over there in Leewood go under, and
I think another Hereford house around town, I
think two out of the three of them closed because
of it. I think there's only one left. The original?
No, the original downtown is gone. It's been
gone a long time. Oh, really? Yeah. That's how
long it's been up there? It burned up under questionable
circumstances. I'll just leave it at that. You
can look up the article. Yeah, yeah. You can
look up the article and make your own judgment.
How's that? I'll look it up. Yeah. So, all right,
Rob, you got something? Yeah, I do. Okay. There's
another Missouri story. A semi -truck crashed
into a creek off Interstate 44 near Toronto,
Missouri on March 1st. And it sat there for three
weeks. The air reeks rotting tofu. Oh. Yes, this
semi -oil -holic tofu. Oh, okay. Nearby residents
are fed up. As of Tuesday morning, March 24th,
the Missouri Department of Natural Resources
says cleanup will finally begin Tuesday evening.
What happened? The truck blocked I -44 exit 172
and came to rest in a creek right directly into
the Gascony River. First responders contained
an oil leak immediately after the crash. The
truck and its load of now rotting tofu, however,
stayed put. So it's in this truck, down in this
ditch, rotting. replace the damaged guardrail
and exit 172 shortly after the truck itself had
removed. Why it's taking so long? The holdup
comes down to money. MoDOT and Carriers Insurance
Company are still working out who pays for what.
Local towing companies estimate the removal alone
will cost around $25 ,000. A Rolla -based towing
company will assist with the cleanup. MoDOT warns
it will be a lengthy process. The NR says workers
already removed fuel from the truck's tanks.
The HC does not expect serious environmental
effects from tofu leaking into the waterway.
It will continue to monitor the situation and
act as if anything changes. The Doolittle Rural
Fire Protection District has grown frustrated
at waiting for answers and reimbursement. The
district took to Facebook to address residents
driving past the scene daily. For those of you
who drive by this every day and wonder to yourself,
why is this sitting here for three weeks after
the crash? You are not alone, this district quote.
We have been in contact with MoDOT and they have
stated that their team is working on it with
the insurance company for the carrier. It's a
very costly plan and from what we have gathered,
it has been a logistical nightmare. We have begun
to run around while attempting to recoup the
costs that our department endured during the
response and initial cleanup. The district also
confirmed that MoDOT's statewide safety and emergency
management director is working alongside Missouri
State Highway Patrol and other state agencies
on the removal. They also passed along a note
for tourist drivers. In case you're wondering,
tofu tends to stink pretty bad after staying
out for three weeks. Look at what it's made out
of, and you'll see why it stinks so bad. Oh,
yeah. Oh, wow. Nez on I -44 near the Gasconade
River. Wow. Yeah, yeah, I know where that's at.
Yep, that's past Springfield, what, maybe an
hour? East. Yeah, yeah, north and east of Springfield
on I -44. So, I mean, about where, if you want
to know. So, all right. All right, I got one
more story if you have time, Rob. Yeah, I do.
Okay. During a boxing match on January 31st in
New York, heavyweight Gerald Miller lost his
head, or at least his hair. Fox News reported
that as Miller fought Kingsley Abeth, is the
name of it, is the name of the guy. One of Beth's
punches knocked Miller's head back, and his hairpiece
flew upward from the front, revealing a mostly
bald head. Miller ripped off the toupee and threw
it to the crowd, where spectators posed for photos
with it. Strangely, Miller said he got the hairpiece
just two days before after he accidentally washed
his hair with ammonia bleach instead of shampoo.
Miller won the ballot in a split decision, though.
You got anything you want to add to that, Rob?
Anything at all? No, I don't know what there
is to add to it. All right, it's after 9. I know
you're going to have a busy day tomorrow. Do
you want to cut it, or you got another story?
Yeah, actually, if you don't mind, I would like
to cut it. I explained to you what kind of day
I have tomorrow. No, I know, and that's why I
asked you. I'll be lucky to be home by 10 o 'clock
tomorrow night. That's exactly why I'm asking
you, Rob. Okay, cool. You know what? We're going
to have well over an hour, so it's enough. No
big deal here. Alrighty. Thank you, Rob, for
joining us, like always, or me, I guess. And
thank everybody out there for listening to us.
We appreciate it. We know our show is not nearly
as entertaining as the gangbang, okay? So you
can ease off on all those comments, dickheads.
Well, it's mainly because we're in middle of
the week. We're fresh Sunday night. Yes, Sunday
night, we're rearing to go. At least I am. I
am. No, I am too. And Topher, he's raring to
go also. Yeah. So anyhow, thank you all for listening.
And there's only a couple of people that said
that. So I'm just joking around. Anyhow, I don't
care. You can like that show better. We're all
a part of it and everything. It's fine with us.
So anyhow, thank you everybody for listening.
Good night, assholes. Oh, no. Looks like the
show's over, kids. Mark has explosive diarrhea
and can't afford a wireless mic. Fear not, assholes.
They'll be back invading your ear holes soon.