WEBVTT

00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:04.639
Well, well, well. We see you made it back. That's

00:00:04.639 --> 00:00:07.799
right. It's time for your favorite podcast, Two

00:00:07.799 --> 00:00:10.779
Douchebags and a Microphone, live from the historic

00:00:10.779 --> 00:00:13.539
river market in downtown Kansas City, Missouri,

00:00:13.779 --> 00:00:16.820
but only on Tuesdays and sometimes Wednesdays.

00:00:16.980 --> 00:00:19.160
Otherwise, you get live from the Duck Wine Studio

00:00:19.160 --> 00:00:21.839
in Wheatland, Missouri, and the Talk is Cheap

00:00:21.839 --> 00:00:24.059
studio from Extreme Southern Tent for the Kansas

00:00:24.059 --> 00:00:27.460
City Metroplex and the surrounding areas. Let's

00:00:27.460 --> 00:00:29.199
grab a seat and see what kind of garbage they

00:00:29.199 --> 00:00:36.500
throw at us today. Enjoy. Welcome again. We're

00:00:36.500 --> 00:00:39.539
happy you chose us. Come on in. Wash yourself

00:00:39.539 --> 00:00:43.640
off. Would you enjoy a bourbon and coke? There's

00:00:43.640 --> 00:00:46.200
a liquor store down the road. If you go, I need

00:00:46.200 --> 00:00:49.740
rolling papers. Well, since you're here, let's

00:00:49.740 --> 00:00:51.859
get this daily douchebag pledge out of the way.

00:00:52.880 --> 00:00:55.439
All right, bitches, swing your hips and pelvic

00:00:55.439 --> 00:00:58.810
thrust. Shout it out with me. I, Joe or Jane

00:00:58.810 --> 00:01:01.210
Listener, promise to download every podcast.

00:01:02.090 --> 00:01:05.530
I, Joe or Jane Listener, promise to make all

00:01:05.530 --> 00:01:07.930
friends, family members and workmates download

00:01:07.930 --> 00:01:11.390
this show. I, Joe or Jane Listener, promise to

00:01:11.390 --> 00:01:14.129
grab idle computers, work computers, friends

00:01:14.129 --> 00:01:17.209
computers, community computers and other assorted

00:01:17.209 --> 00:01:19.370
phones and listening devices and download the

00:01:19.370 --> 00:01:23.109
show from there. I, Joe or Jane Listener, will

00:01:23.109 --> 00:01:25.750
download the show. and constantly barrage everyone

00:01:25.750 --> 00:01:29.310
with show name and platforms. I, Joe or Jane

00:01:29.310 --> 00:01:31.930
Listener, promise to wear a chicken costume and

00:01:31.930 --> 00:01:34.890
scream the show's name from my front yard. And

00:01:34.890 --> 00:01:37.250
finally, because of our 13 -year -old boy humor,

00:01:37.510 --> 00:01:40.989
we must go to Knobloch Cooter Licking in Uranus,

00:01:40.989 --> 00:01:44.049
Missouri to take selfies with the signs. If you

00:01:44.049 --> 00:01:48.209
go to Uranus, go to the fudge factory. Yes, there's

00:01:48.209 --> 00:01:53.680
a fudge factory in Uranus. No joke. Here at Two

00:01:53.680 --> 00:01:56.239
Douchebags and a Microphone, we don't stand behind

00:01:56.239 --> 00:01:59.319
our journalistic integrity. Go ahead and assume

00:01:59.319 --> 00:02:02.640
we got the story wrong. At least we admit it.

00:02:02.980 --> 00:02:05.980
Not like all those other guys, we can and will

00:02:05.980 --> 00:02:10.520
lie if it makes the story better. Two douchebags

00:02:10.520 --> 00:02:22.620
and a microphone? It's time for the police blotter.

00:02:23.039 --> 00:02:26.219
That's right, stories about stupid criminals

00:02:26.219 --> 00:02:30.500
and the dumbassness that ensued. Let us begin

00:02:30.500 --> 00:02:34.840
now. A 25 -year -old Phillipsburg, Montana man

00:02:34.840 --> 00:02:37.599
drove to the Granite County Courthouse to pay

00:02:37.599 --> 00:02:41.300
a fine for having an open container. Sheriff

00:02:41.300 --> 00:02:44.000
Rico Barkel observed that the man appeared to

00:02:44.000 --> 00:02:47.280
be intoxicated. He asked if the man drove himself

00:02:47.280 --> 00:02:51.710
to the courthouse. He replied, Yes. He then admitted

00:02:51.710 --> 00:02:54.530
to having to had two drinks and smoked two bowls

00:02:54.530 --> 00:02:58.050
of marijuana. The man was tested at three times

00:02:58.050 --> 00:03:00.909
above the legal limit and had an open container

00:03:00.909 --> 00:03:04.050
in his car again. He was charged with aggravated

00:03:04.050 --> 00:03:08.669
DUI and open container. He went to jail immediately.

00:03:09.189 --> 00:03:15.650
No word if he actually paid the first fine. Introducing

00:03:15.650 --> 00:03:18.409
Rob Rad's new book, How to Track Your Enemy by

00:03:18.409 --> 00:03:21.610
Set. That's right. Smell your enemy before they

00:03:21.610 --> 00:03:24.409
get you. Order this gem now and get a free virtual

00:03:24.409 --> 00:03:26.949
tour of Rob's secret bunker in Camderton, Missouri.

00:03:27.349 --> 00:03:30.189
Also receive a free copy of his new book, How

00:03:30.189 --> 00:03:36.550
to Clean Raw Sewage for Food. Since the dawn

00:03:36.550 --> 00:03:39.509
of time, weird shit has happened. Strange occurrences,

00:03:39.689 --> 00:03:42.849
unexplained phobias, and other odd happenings.

00:03:42.990 --> 00:03:44.969
Over the next minute, we would like to bring

00:03:44.969 --> 00:03:49.039
you odd, rare phobias and conditions. Hutchinson

00:03:49.039 --> 00:03:52.659
-Gilford Progeria Syndrome. Cases known on Earth

00:03:52.659 --> 00:03:56.539
100 to possibly 150. This causes young children

00:03:56.539 --> 00:03:59.240
to age quickly, such as hair loss, thin, fragile

00:03:59.240 --> 00:04:02.259
skin, and cardiovascular issues, while the child's

00:04:02.259 --> 00:04:04.939
mental capacity stays the same. There is unknown

00:04:04.939 --> 00:04:08.800
cure and very little treatment options. Oh, shit.

00:04:08.919 --> 00:04:13.060
What's that over there? Oh, no. It's the island

00:04:13.060 --> 00:04:21.689
of horrible jokes. Ugh! What do you call a bundle

00:04:21.689 --> 00:04:36.850
of hay in church? Christian bale. And now, Deep

00:04:36.850 --> 00:04:43.910
Thoughts with Mark. If I were floating in outer

00:04:43.910 --> 00:04:48.959
space, if I was to paddle my arms and legs, Would

00:04:48.959 --> 00:05:07.000
I float faster? Hmm. I may never know. Two douchebags

00:05:07.000 --> 00:05:10.220
and microphone. Yes, this is the original douchebag

00:05:10.220 --> 00:05:12.779
and microphone. Well, not the original, but the

00:05:12.779 --> 00:05:14.939
second carnation of it. The one without Topher.

00:05:15.019 --> 00:05:17.660
But he will be back Sunday with plenty to say.

00:05:18.170 --> 00:05:20.670
I just posted something that Topher and I have

00:05:20.670 --> 00:05:25.829
plenty to say Tuesday. So, I am at the Talk is

00:05:25.829 --> 00:05:29.990
Cheap studio on the extreme southern tip of the

00:05:29.990 --> 00:05:33.170
Kansas City Metroplex in the Talk is Cheap studio.

00:05:33.269 --> 00:05:36.870
I think I said that. I don't care. Anyhow. And

00:05:36.870 --> 00:05:41.589
I am Rob in Wheatland, Missouri, home of the

00:05:41.589 --> 00:05:45.310
magnificent Lucas Oil Speedway and Watertrap

00:05:45.310 --> 00:06:02.819
and also home of... I'm such a kid. Every time

00:06:02.819 --> 00:06:07.480
you say huge penis, I snicker. You're the one

00:06:07.480 --> 00:06:09.879
that got me doing it. I know, but it's funny

00:06:09.879 --> 00:06:13.399
hearing you say it. And here I am trying to break

00:06:13.399 --> 00:06:16.139
things down for Sunday night to add time for

00:06:16.139 --> 00:06:22.439
tofu. I know. I feel so bad for you. Man, I'm

00:06:22.439 --> 00:06:25.519
sorry I threw all that shit on you. No, I might

00:06:25.519 --> 00:06:27.759
have to leave that for Wednesday night. But I'm

00:06:27.759 --> 00:06:30.439
going to make a different version for Sunday

00:06:30.439 --> 00:06:33.300
night. But I think I'm on it. I think I'm on

00:06:33.300 --> 00:06:36.360
it. I think I figured it out. I just got to stop

00:06:36.360 --> 00:06:38.699
and talk to the people. Yeah, Topher and I was

00:06:38.699 --> 00:06:42.339
talking about your timing is so good, dude. I

00:06:42.339 --> 00:06:47.100
mean, have you listened back to the shows? I

00:06:47.100 --> 00:06:51.420
have not caught last Sunday's. I will catch that

00:06:51.420 --> 00:06:54.480
in the morning. Okay. Like I said, I've been

00:06:54.480 --> 00:06:57.519
really busy this week, dude. Okay. No, that's

00:06:57.519 --> 00:06:59.639
cool. That's cool. Yeah, your timing is perfect.

00:06:59.920 --> 00:07:03.220
You've got to re -listen to it, is what I'm saying.

00:07:03.939 --> 00:07:06.779
I'm trying to hurry. Do you give Topher time?

00:07:07.579 --> 00:07:09.899
Oh, no, but every time you throw a little zinger

00:07:09.899 --> 00:07:11.959
in there, it's right at the right time. And Topher

00:07:11.959 --> 00:07:15.470
and I are both like... So, anyhow, you'll hear

00:07:15.470 --> 00:07:17.649
what I'm saying when you listen to it. All right.

00:07:17.649 --> 00:07:21.769
Okay. So, all right, let's go ahead and start

00:07:21.769 --> 00:07:27.230
off with this. Okay, if you're lonely and if

00:07:27.230 --> 00:07:29.870
you're a college student in Boston, you can stop

00:07:29.870 --> 00:07:33.470
at the Call a Boomer phone number on Commonwealth

00:07:33.470 --> 00:07:36.769
Avenue in Brookline and free of charge connect

00:07:36.769 --> 00:07:39.410
with an older person living in a senior housing

00:07:39.410 --> 00:07:43.470
facility in Reno, Nevada. Boston .com reported

00:07:43.470 --> 00:07:48.250
on March 10th that biotech company Matter Neuroscience

00:07:48.250 --> 00:07:52.930
set up the phones as part of a social experiment

00:07:52.930 --> 00:07:55.790
based on data that show young people and seniors

00:07:55.790 --> 00:07:59.149
are the loneliest among age groups. The goal

00:07:59.149 --> 00:08:01.769
of this project is to inspire, and I believe

00:08:01.769 --> 00:08:04.730
that, you know, young people, try to think back

00:08:04.730 --> 00:08:07.160
when you were younger. And you were awkward.

00:08:07.540 --> 00:08:09.560
And you really, you know, you really didn't know.

00:08:09.639 --> 00:08:11.860
Everything you did just seemed like it was wrong.

00:08:12.360 --> 00:08:14.379
People didn't want to talk to you because you're

00:08:14.379 --> 00:08:16.800
just a dumb little snot nose shit. You know,

00:08:16.860 --> 00:08:20.500
you remember those days, right? Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

00:08:20.899 --> 00:08:22.740
So I get it. I see what you're saying there.

00:08:22.920 --> 00:08:24.959
Yeah, I used to have a couple of older people

00:08:24.959 --> 00:08:26.819
that I used to go talk to, and they used to ground

00:08:26.819 --> 00:08:28.379
me. You know, they'd be like, hey, Mark, you

00:08:28.379 --> 00:08:30.120
know what? What you're worried about, you're

00:08:30.120 --> 00:08:32.039
going to wish you were worried about here in

00:08:32.039 --> 00:08:34.340
20 years. What you're worrying about right there,

00:08:34.460 --> 00:08:37.659
you won't care at all in 20 years. You won't

00:08:37.659 --> 00:08:40.240
even think about it. It's like it's just a stage

00:08:40.240 --> 00:08:41.720
you're going through. You know, they used to

00:08:41.720 --> 00:08:44.620
know exactly what to say. So I think this is

00:08:44.620 --> 00:08:46.879
a great idea, and I think this will help a lot

00:08:46.879 --> 00:08:51.340
of people. So, the goal is, through meaningful

00:08:51.340 --> 00:08:55.179
conversations, a plaque on the phone booth reads,

00:08:55.379 --> 00:08:58.899
calls work either way, and if no one picks up,

00:08:58.980 --> 00:09:04.379
the caller can leave a message. So, anyhow, one

00:09:04.379 --> 00:09:07.159
call was from San Francisco to Albany, Texas,

00:09:07.399 --> 00:09:10.419
and I thought it was just going to be in one

00:09:10.419 --> 00:09:12.659
area like Reno, Nevada, but evidently they do

00:09:12.659 --> 00:09:16.240
it all over. So, anyhow, the whole long and...

00:09:16.750 --> 00:09:18.710
The whole long and short of it is it's a pretty

00:09:18.710 --> 00:09:20.389
good program, and it seems to be working well

00:09:20.389 --> 00:09:22.529
because younger people are awkward, and older

00:09:22.529 --> 00:09:25.090
people are lonely and don't have anybody to talk

00:09:25.090 --> 00:09:28.250
to. So that should work well. Me, I'd call up

00:09:28.250 --> 00:09:31.210
and go, hey, hey, is your refrigerator running?

00:09:33.190 --> 00:09:37.710
And then they'd hang up. All right. Tommy Lynch,

00:09:37.809 --> 00:09:41.009
42, of Derbyshire, England, went to the hospital

00:09:41.009 --> 00:09:43.929
after waking up with blue skin. People Magazine

00:09:43.929 --> 00:09:46.830
reported on March 10th, again, Lynch's roommate,

00:09:46.990 --> 00:09:50.769
who worked as a career medical aide, saw his

00:09:50.769 --> 00:09:53.830
skin and whisked him to the emergency room, thinking

00:09:53.830 --> 00:09:56.649
he might be deprived of oxygen. Doctors there

00:09:56.649 --> 00:09:59.549
assessed him and prudently rubbed his arm with

00:09:59.549 --> 00:10:03.009
an alcohol swipe, revealing his ailment, sleeping

00:10:03.009 --> 00:10:08.080
on new unwashed bed sheets, dark blue ones. Yeah,

00:10:08.080 --> 00:10:11.039
I never knew you had to wash. The guy said, I

00:10:11.039 --> 00:10:12.580
never knew you had to wash your sheets before

00:10:12.580 --> 00:10:15.919
you slept on them. I look like an avatar. Good

00:10:15.919 --> 00:10:18.759
idea. Yeah, yeah, it would be a good idea. I

00:10:18.759 --> 00:10:21.740
mean, if they're in a package, I could understand

00:10:21.740 --> 00:10:24.559
maybe not washing them as much. Unless, you know,

00:10:24.580 --> 00:10:26.559
then they have the kind that's like folded and

00:10:26.559 --> 00:10:31.120
has like a paper band around it, right? Those

00:10:31.120 --> 00:10:33.539
I would definitely wash because everyone's been

00:10:33.539 --> 00:10:35.779
putting their greasy paws all over them, you

00:10:35.779 --> 00:10:38.779
know. Yeah, and it's like a new pair of blue

00:10:38.779 --> 00:10:42.080
jeans. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you want to wash them

00:10:42.080 --> 00:10:45.080
first, honestly. It's all in, and you wash out

00:10:45.080 --> 00:10:47.620
a lot of the dye the first wash. You really do.

00:10:47.779 --> 00:10:49.860
Yeah, you do, and you don't get it all over your

00:10:49.860 --> 00:10:52.679
legs. Yeah, don't put it in with your whites.

00:10:53.019 --> 00:10:55.820
And also, you know a lot of people don't wear

00:10:55.820 --> 00:10:58.340
underwear, right? And if they tried them on,

00:10:58.399 --> 00:11:01.580
they got their fucking bag nutsack. Yeah, good

00:11:01.580 --> 00:11:04.480
point. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Good point. You don't

00:11:04.480 --> 00:11:07.740
want their ball gravy all over you, so, you know.

00:11:07.899 --> 00:11:09.720
So it would be a good idea to go ahead and wash

00:11:09.720 --> 00:11:14.700
them. So, now in the no fucking way department,

00:11:15.039 --> 00:11:18.899
Rob. Okay, first off, I bet you didn't know March

00:11:18.899 --> 00:11:22.019
15th is National Espresso Martini Day. Did you

00:11:22.019 --> 00:11:25.860
know that? No, I did not. Well, Buffalo Wild

00:11:25.860 --> 00:11:29.059
Wings knows. And in celebration, they're introducing

00:11:29.059 --> 00:11:32.539
their wing -flavored espresso, Proteini is what

00:11:32.539 --> 00:11:35.879
they call it, USA Today reported on March 9th

00:11:35.879 --> 00:11:38.039
that the featured drink is made with 10 grams

00:11:38.039 --> 00:11:41.899
of protein and buffalo dry rub, which will also

00:11:41.899 --> 00:11:47.059
line the rim of the glass. Dude, that just, oh

00:11:47.059 --> 00:11:53.059
my God. I bet it did not go over very well. It

00:11:53.059 --> 00:11:55.480
didn't say the numbers on it, but I'm going to

00:11:55.480 --> 00:11:58.600
look it up and I'll report back. Yeah, I agree.

00:11:59.659 --> 00:12:04.960
Dude, that's dope. You'd have to be drunk to

00:12:04.960 --> 00:12:08.600
do it. Yeah. Oh, God, yeah. Just stomach it.

00:12:09.080 --> 00:12:10.980
Yeah, you'd have to be completely out of your

00:12:10.980 --> 00:12:14.090
fucking mind to do that, in my opinion. I'll

00:12:14.090 --> 00:12:15.549
bet you a lot of people do, though, and they

00:12:15.549 --> 00:12:17.230
get their selfies with them and all that and

00:12:17.230 --> 00:12:19.929
go, hey, guess who tried the Espresso Proteini,

00:12:20.090 --> 00:12:21.929
you know, and all that. You'll get that. Yeah,

00:12:21.929 --> 00:12:24.269
and end up puking their guts up in the bathroom.

00:12:24.429 --> 00:12:26.549
Yeah, it's going to end up a bunch of them are

00:12:26.549 --> 00:12:29.110
going to be 90 % full just sitting there on the

00:12:29.110 --> 00:12:33.690
table the rest of the night. Yeah. So the Espresso

00:12:33.690 --> 00:12:36.690
Proteini is available from March 12th to the

00:12:36.690 --> 00:12:40.809
23rd and costs $12. That's $12 you can do something

00:12:40.809 --> 00:12:46.750
good with. Not by the Espresso Proteini. That

00:12:46.750 --> 00:12:48.929
would not be a good thing to do with that, $12.

00:12:49.889 --> 00:12:52.409
Get the wings and the beer. You're better off.

00:12:52.809 --> 00:12:56.169
Yes, yes, much better. And you can't beat beer

00:12:56.169 --> 00:12:57.870
and wings. I mean, you know, that's like the

00:12:57.870 --> 00:13:00.409
perfect combination. Whenever I see that, I hear...

00:13:00.409 --> 00:13:02.330
Why would you go there for something like that

00:13:02.330 --> 00:13:05.649
anyway? Oh, my God. That's what I think about

00:13:05.649 --> 00:13:08.870
it. Yeah. Why would they have something like

00:13:08.870 --> 00:13:11.909
that? I think so. People like us can talk about

00:13:11.909 --> 00:13:16.450
it. Evidently. Yeah, I really do. I think it's

00:13:16.450 --> 00:13:18.730
like, look, this sucks and we know it, but everybody's

00:13:18.730 --> 00:13:19.929
going to talk about it. They're trying to reach

00:13:19.929 --> 00:13:23.889
out to the yuppies. I guess so. I bet you they're

00:13:23.889 --> 00:13:25.309
not doing it either. I bet you they're like,

00:13:25.450 --> 00:13:29.330
what? They don't realize they're vegans. They

00:13:29.330 --> 00:13:34.669
don't eat. That's true. Isn't that place that

00:13:34.669 --> 00:13:37.289
sells the chicken wings? Oh, no. Oh, God. I can

00:13:37.289 --> 00:13:39.970
smell meat cooking when I walk in there. I'm

00:13:39.970 --> 00:13:42.470
about ready to bomb. But I want one of these

00:13:42.470 --> 00:13:47.960
drinks. I don't see that happening. No, no, I

00:13:47.960 --> 00:13:53.000
don't either. I don't either. A restaurant in

00:13:53.000 --> 00:13:56.139
Mobile, Alabama had advertised an offer for nearly

00:13:56.139 --> 00:14:00.039
100 years, but never had to honor it until the

00:14:00.039 --> 00:14:03.299
end of February when Jimmy Rush 80 and James

00:14:03.299 --> 00:14:07.200
Rush 99 walked in. The New York Post reported

00:14:07.200 --> 00:14:11.200
that Witzel's Oyster House promises free oysters

00:14:11.200 --> 00:14:15.539
to any man 80 years old, accompanied by his father.

00:14:16.100 --> 00:14:19.820
And until the rushes... I know. That's awesome.

00:14:20.059 --> 00:14:23.039
And until the rushes arrived, they never had

00:14:23.039 --> 00:14:25.940
a taker. We felt like our dad was going to make

00:14:25.940 --> 00:14:27.980
it to 100 because he's in great health, said

00:14:27.980 --> 00:14:30.840
another son, Carl. We've been talking about it

00:14:30.840 --> 00:14:33.960
as a family for 25 to 30 years now. Carl will

00:14:33.960 --> 00:14:37.450
be 80 in two years. And they plan to come back

00:14:37.450 --> 00:14:40.610
for another dozen oysters because they plan on

00:14:40.610 --> 00:14:42.610
their dad being alive and his brother, who's

00:14:42.610 --> 00:14:45.110
two years younger, will be 80. So that would

00:14:45.110 --> 00:14:49.629
be excellent. That would be awesome. I hope they

00:14:49.629 --> 00:14:51.889
get their wish. To me, I'd love a story like

00:14:51.889 --> 00:14:54.210
that. I cannot wait to hear about that. Yeah,

00:14:54.250 --> 00:14:57.649
me neither. Me neither. So I'm going to keep

00:14:57.649 --> 00:15:00.070
an eye on that. I'm going to try to... Stay with

00:15:00.070 --> 00:15:02.830
that story and find out. I mean, I know it's

00:15:02.830 --> 00:15:04.990
two years away, but it would still be cool to

00:15:04.990 --> 00:15:08.370
report on that in two years. We might find it

00:15:08.370 --> 00:15:12.269
in two years. Yeah. Well, I'm going to earmark

00:15:12.269 --> 00:15:15.110
this. I found a new way to earmark segments because

00:15:15.110 --> 00:15:18.809
I had a couple of people write about the Bluetooth

00:15:18.809 --> 00:15:23.750
story. And one of them wrote it first, and then

00:15:23.750 --> 00:15:25.450
when I mentioned it on the show the other night,

00:15:25.570 --> 00:15:27.470
another person wrote and said, yeah, I really

00:15:27.470 --> 00:15:31.500
want to hear that. Gosh, how many shows do we

00:15:31.500 --> 00:15:36.279
have, Rob? Probably 300, 400. I have not been

00:15:36.279 --> 00:15:40.320
keeping very good records, unfortunately. So

00:15:40.320 --> 00:15:43.740
I can't find that segment. And so I'm just going

00:15:43.740 --> 00:15:47.980
to have to redo the segment. Well, two to three

00:15:47.980 --> 00:15:51.080
segments a week. And then for a while, we were

00:15:51.080 --> 00:15:54.759
doing four a week. I know we were, yeah. It's

00:15:54.759 --> 00:15:57.019
hard telling where it's at. Yeah, so now we're

00:15:57.019 --> 00:15:59.600
back to four. Topher and I do the two at the

00:15:59.600 --> 00:16:02.539
City Market, and then we do this one usually

00:16:02.539 --> 00:16:06.019
Thursday nights now because I have my back therapy

00:16:06.019 --> 00:16:13.000
on Wednesdays a lot of times. So we do four shows

00:16:13.000 --> 00:16:16.559
a week, so you add that up after about two months.

00:16:16.620 --> 00:16:20.159
It's hard telling where it's at. Yeah, and like

00:16:20.159 --> 00:16:22.500
I said, I found a new way to earmark stuff, so

00:16:22.500 --> 00:16:24.639
I'm going to start doing that. If it's something

00:16:24.639 --> 00:16:27.379
I think I'm going to have to go back to or something

00:16:27.379 --> 00:16:29.639
people will wonder about, I'm going to have it

00:16:29.639 --> 00:16:32.139
earmarked, and I have a different way to explain

00:16:32.139 --> 00:16:35.340
it to, I figured out a better way, because a

00:16:35.340 --> 00:16:37.259
lot of the stuff that I put in there, you know,

00:16:37.259 --> 00:16:43.059
it'll say, dude stripping part three, and I'm

00:16:43.059 --> 00:16:44.580
like, what the fuck was that? I can't remember.

00:16:45.080 --> 00:16:47.320
You know what I mean? It's stuff that doesn't

00:16:47.320 --> 00:16:49.440
make sense to me later, but it did at the moment.

00:16:49.720 --> 00:16:52.259
So I got a different way of explaining things

00:16:52.259 --> 00:16:55.700
in the segment and what it's about. So anyhow.

00:16:56.259 --> 00:16:59.919
All right. There is a goldfish that just beat

00:16:59.919 --> 00:17:03.460
a world record for driving. Yeah, I said driving.

00:17:04.380 --> 00:17:08.099
A goldfish recently earned a Guinness World Record

00:17:08.099 --> 00:17:12.470
for driving. Blub, the Italian fish. took home

00:17:12.470 --> 00:17:14.809
the title for the greatest distance covered in

00:17:14.809 --> 00:17:19.309
a motion -sensing vehicle by a goldfish in one

00:17:19.309 --> 00:17:21.450
minute, thanks to his owner, who is an engineer.

00:17:22.470 --> 00:17:26.529
Thomas DeWolf. That's really his name, as far

00:17:26.529 --> 00:17:29.230
as I know. Thomas DeWolf. It sounds like a stage

00:17:29.230 --> 00:17:33.250
name, doesn't it? Take him to a camp to, like,

00:17:33.329 --> 00:17:37.650
teach people how to drive there. Rob, that's

00:17:37.650 --> 00:17:42.150
everywhere. That is everywhere. Oh, my God. It's

00:17:42.150 --> 00:17:44.849
not bad here, but then there ain't as many people

00:17:44.849 --> 00:17:50.690
here either. Yeah. Wow. It appears to me like

00:17:50.690 --> 00:17:54.230
people would rather do anything except look at

00:17:54.230 --> 00:18:00.049
the road. It's just ridiculous. I understand

00:18:00.049 --> 00:18:03.549
how come churns premiums are so high now. Like

00:18:03.549 --> 00:18:06.170
I said, I've been hit three times in four months,

00:18:06.269 --> 00:18:09.069
and every one of them, the person just was fucking...

00:18:09.309 --> 00:18:11.849
Look at their phone or something is what it looked

00:18:11.849 --> 00:18:13.829
like to me. They didn't admit it, but I don't

00:18:13.829 --> 00:18:16.970
know how else they could have done it. So, anyhow.

00:18:17.869 --> 00:18:20.349
Thomas DeWolf of the Netherlands crafted a four

00:18:20.349 --> 00:18:24.150
-wheeled vehicle that holds a water tank and

00:18:24.150 --> 00:18:26.509
is directed by the movements of the goldfish,

00:18:26.670 --> 00:18:30.029
who is able to travel a total of 40 feet and

00:18:30.029 --> 00:18:35.490
3 .46 inches to break the world record. Holy

00:18:35.490 --> 00:18:40.279
shit. Yeah. You can look this up online. It's

00:18:40.279 --> 00:18:43.079
really kind of cool. The guy went through great

00:18:43.079 --> 00:18:45.900
links, and it's really cool because the goldfish,

00:18:45.980 --> 00:18:48.900
you can see that the goldfish realizes that it's

00:18:48.900 --> 00:18:52.960
moving something. I mean, you know, you can see

00:18:52.960 --> 00:18:55.980
the look on his face like, hey, I'm doing this.

00:18:56.140 --> 00:19:01.000
It's really neat. The contraption is a small

00:19:01.000 --> 00:19:04.470
tank of water, including the fish. with a small

00:19:04.470 --> 00:19:07.529
robar -looking cage around it and wheels with

00:19:07.529 --> 00:19:09.809
a motion -detecting camera that prompts the tank

00:19:09.809 --> 00:19:13.990
to navigate the way the fish is moving. So all

00:19:13.990 --> 00:19:17.809
the fish has to do is go to the front and keep

00:19:17.809 --> 00:19:21.809
moving, and the contraption will allow him to

00:19:21.809 --> 00:19:28.369
keep moving. So the Italian fish actually realized

00:19:28.369 --> 00:19:30.309
that it was moving something and kept going,

00:19:30.430 --> 00:19:34.990
which is remarkable. You know, I mean, it's too

00:19:34.990 --> 00:19:36.890
bad people with bigger brains don't use that

00:19:36.890 --> 00:19:44.230
much of their brains, right? Well, I know you're

00:19:44.230 --> 00:19:45.869
going to go into something here in a little bit,

00:19:45.910 --> 00:19:48.309
so we might as well just smooth the surface off

00:19:48.309 --> 00:19:53.789
for it. Okay, so who was coming up with this

00:19:53.789 --> 00:19:57.069
shit? Well, I did some scouring here, and here's

00:19:57.069 --> 00:20:00.329
the origin of how one might get a world record.

00:20:01.259 --> 00:20:03.920
You ever wonder how you get a world record? I

00:20:03.920 --> 00:20:09.140
have. Yeah. Okay. Number one, check if it already

00:20:09.140 --> 00:20:11.859
exists. Go to the Guinness World Records website

00:20:11.859 --> 00:20:15.200
and search their database. If your idea already

00:20:15.200 --> 00:20:17.380
exists, you can try to break the current record

00:20:17.380 --> 00:20:21.900
as it exists. If it doesn't, you can propose

00:20:21.900 --> 00:20:25.529
a new record category. Create an account and

00:20:25.529 --> 00:20:28.309
apply. You'll need to sign up and submit an application

00:20:28.309 --> 00:20:31.130
with a clear description of your record data,

00:20:31.369 --> 00:20:34.930
why it's measurable and unique, and how it can

00:20:34.930 --> 00:20:39.210
be verified fairly. They'll either approve it,

00:20:39.230 --> 00:20:41.970
reject it, or ask for clarification, is what

00:20:41.970 --> 00:20:45.130
the Guinness website says. Wait for approval

00:20:45.130 --> 00:20:49.490
upon standard review, 12 plus weeks, which is

00:20:49.490 --> 00:20:52.759
free, but they have a fast track option. You

00:20:52.759 --> 00:20:55.480
pay, and it's much quicker. Imagine that, right?

00:20:56.599 --> 00:20:59.759
It's just kind of like, you know, I started the

00:20:59.759 --> 00:21:04.279
National Crappy Podcast Day on my birthday, right?

00:21:04.420 --> 00:21:08.400
Yeah. Well, I could have had a fast track, and

00:21:08.400 --> 00:21:11.500
I could have had it. It went through, but it's

00:21:11.500 --> 00:21:13.880
not for sure it goes through unless you pay them.

00:21:13.980 --> 00:21:16.880
If you pay them, you got it. I mean, you could

00:21:16.880 --> 00:21:18.740
come up with anything. You're like, okay, give

00:21:18.740 --> 00:21:22.380
us a check. Okay, all right, it's yours. So,

00:21:22.380 --> 00:21:24.960
if approved, they'll send you the official guidelines.

00:21:25.259 --> 00:21:28.359
This is critical. Follow strict rules. You must

00:21:28.359 --> 00:21:31.759
follow their exact criteria, which usually includes

00:21:31.759 --> 00:21:35.839
independent witnesses, video evidence, and photographic

00:21:35.839 --> 00:21:39.039
proof. Sometimes expert verification, depending

00:21:39.039 --> 00:21:43.359
on what it is. If you miss even a small requirement,

00:21:43.559 --> 00:21:46.359
they can reject it. To prove the record, produce

00:21:46.359 --> 00:21:49.359
a full unedited video. And that's going to be,

00:21:49.420 --> 00:21:52.319
you know... You have to make sure that it's done

00:21:52.319 --> 00:21:54.579
in one swipe because if you edit it, they throw

00:21:54.579 --> 00:21:57.579
it out because it could be tampered with, so

00:21:57.579 --> 00:22:01.160
I get that. Then you have two signed witness

00:22:01.160 --> 00:22:05.359
statements, any required logs or data. Verification

00:22:05.359 --> 00:22:08.400
they review your submission can take weeks to

00:22:08.400 --> 00:22:12.099
months, again, unless you pay them. If successful,

00:22:12.420 --> 00:22:19.410
you're officially a world record holder. There

00:22:19.410 --> 00:22:23.069
you go, Rob. All right. Well, let's turn it to

00:22:23.069 --> 00:22:24.869
you. I think you have a few things to say, Rob.

00:22:26.210 --> 00:22:32.150
Okay. Actually, I have... First off, I want to

00:22:32.150 --> 00:22:36.990
wish a very happy birthday to the Duke. Yay!

00:22:37.910 --> 00:22:40.710
Today is his birthday. Our favorite listener

00:22:40.710 --> 00:22:46.829
and contributor ever. And my brother. Yep. Well,

00:22:46.970 --> 00:22:50.380
yeah, that part, too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Happy

00:22:50.380 --> 00:22:57.720
birthday, Duke. Okay, and now, something I have

00:22:57.720 --> 00:23:03.319
to get off my chest. Go right on ahead. Stupid

00:23:03.319 --> 00:23:08.660
co -workers. Oh, yeah, I had my fill of them

00:23:08.660 --> 00:23:13.160
earlier today. We are talking about the ones

00:23:13.160 --> 00:23:18.759
that should not have a job. Because they are

00:23:18.759 --> 00:23:23.619
a danger to themselves and others. Mm -hmm. Work

00:23:23.619 --> 00:23:28.440
with plenty of them. We got this guy. He's a

00:23:28.440 --> 00:23:31.440
cross -member lover. You know, he's just a flunky.

00:23:32.299 --> 00:23:36.539
But when I need help, he is to come up and help

00:23:36.539 --> 00:23:43.599
me. Well, I kicked him out of my area. I don't

00:23:43.599 --> 00:23:46.349
know how. many times because he is dangerous

00:23:46.349 --> 00:23:48.630
because he don't watch he doesn't pay attention

00:23:48.630 --> 00:23:56.589
and one day and I told you this story off the

00:23:56.589 --> 00:24:03.029
air one day I had this approximately 1500 pound

00:24:03.029 --> 00:24:08.009
bundle of steel like 10 foot in the air on the

00:24:08.009 --> 00:24:13.119
forefoot and I was maneuvering around some stuff,

00:24:13.200 --> 00:24:16.700
so I said into my saw, on some rollers, I'm moving

00:24:16.700 --> 00:24:20.619
in. Well, he was working on the other saw, so

00:24:20.619 --> 00:24:24.680
I motioned for him, I said, get over here, and

00:24:24.680 --> 00:24:29.900
I specifically told him, stay over there. Because

00:24:29.900 --> 00:24:33.880
I had to maneuver this bundle around some conduit

00:24:33.880 --> 00:24:38.440
and over a shelf full of steel. You know, it's

00:24:38.440 --> 00:24:41.420
like 10 foot in the air on four foot forks. Yeah,

00:24:41.539 --> 00:24:51.559
very dangerous stuff. I maneuver around what

00:24:51.559 --> 00:24:55.599
I needed to, and I do what I do every time. Once

00:24:55.599 --> 00:24:59.079
I maneuver around that, get straight, I look

00:24:59.079 --> 00:25:02.960
back to my left. I look back to my left, this

00:25:02.960 --> 00:25:05.599
stupid son of a bitch is standing right underneath

00:25:05.599 --> 00:25:08.500
that bundle. I remember you telling me that.

00:25:08.519 --> 00:25:11.950
I'm like, what the hell? Oh, he gets better,

00:25:12.029 --> 00:25:19.230
dude. Okay. And then here, like, it was one week

00:25:19.230 --> 00:25:23.809
or two ago, he was up on the little saw, and

00:25:23.809 --> 00:25:26.150
I have some steel right outside, and there's

00:25:26.150 --> 00:25:29.529
a big garage door there, and I got some racks

00:25:29.529 --> 00:25:32.269
full of steel that I got to bring in and carry

00:25:32.269 --> 00:25:36.250
in, you know, and cut and stuff. Well, he's on

00:25:36.250 --> 00:26:09.930
the little saw, which... Yeah. Oh. Oh. And I

00:26:09.930 --> 00:26:15.690
yell at him. I said, dude, pay attention around

00:26:15.690 --> 00:26:22.029
you. You just splatter me in sparks. I sent you

00:26:22.029 --> 00:26:26.130
not more. And I wish I'd get other people at

00:26:26.130 --> 00:26:29.990
work on this, on the podcast, because they know.

00:26:30.930 --> 00:26:35.430
Hey, if they want to call in, that's fine. The

00:26:35.430 --> 00:26:41.329
very next day, this dude shows up. he had taken

00:26:41.329 --> 00:26:47.789
a pair of scissors across his bags. Because he

00:26:47.789 --> 00:26:52.349
has long hair. He took a pair of scissors across

00:26:52.349 --> 00:27:01.369
his bags so he could see. Okay, well then there

00:27:01.369 --> 00:27:07.809
was this Monday. This Monday was golden. And

00:27:07.809 --> 00:27:11.589
this is why Well, we understand why he still

00:27:11.589 --> 00:27:16.250
has a job, because there is a workman's comp

00:27:16.250 --> 00:27:20.269
claim involved now. Oh, okay. Yeah, they can't

00:27:20.269 --> 00:27:23.670
fire him during that. Right. Or lay him off.

00:27:24.630 --> 00:27:28.049
Well, I need him to drill some tongues. He just

00:27:28.049 --> 00:27:30.289
drilled three holes in these pieces of steel.

00:27:30.990 --> 00:27:34.789
Well, the story has changed so many times about

00:27:34.789 --> 00:27:37.529
what he was doing, but the second welder's right

00:27:37.529 --> 00:27:40.029
there. He's seen everything. The lead welder

00:27:40.029 --> 00:27:44.109
was right down there. He seen it. And the lead

00:27:44.109 --> 00:27:47.029
welder's wife seen everything. I, on the other

00:27:47.029 --> 00:27:49.509
hand, did not because I was up busy doing my

00:27:49.509 --> 00:27:55.049
job. Well, all I know is I come around the corner

00:27:55.049 --> 00:27:59.250
and I look down at that grill press and there

00:27:59.250 --> 00:28:03.349
stands our lead welder. There stands our second

00:28:03.349 --> 00:28:09.500
welder. And there stands this dumbass. With no

00:28:09.500 --> 00:28:17.779
shirt on. This is a huge industrial girl press,

00:28:18.000 --> 00:28:24.140
mind you. I think I know what happened. For some

00:28:24.140 --> 00:28:28.140
reason he reached out. We don't know. The story's

00:28:28.140 --> 00:28:30.940
changed so many times. We don't even think he

00:28:30.940 --> 00:28:36.220
knows. But he reached around that bit and he

00:28:36.220 --> 00:28:42.930
was wearing a long sleeve shirt oh boy that bit

00:28:42.930 --> 00:28:51.569
grabbed him went to rolling him up ripped the

00:28:51.569 --> 00:28:54.349
shirt off him he's lucky it ripped the shirt

00:28:54.349 --> 00:28:58.410
off of him he ended up going to the doctor because

00:28:58.410 --> 00:29:03.289
he's got he had marks up his down his chest down

00:29:03.289 --> 00:29:09.009
his back it was twirling oh And I guess Inspector

00:29:09.009 --> 00:29:11.430
Walter told me later, he goes, yeah, he looked

00:29:11.430 --> 00:29:14.329
at me and said, that thing ain't no punk, is

00:29:14.329 --> 00:29:21.349
it? No, I think he was only punk in the room.

00:29:21.910 --> 00:29:29.829
Dude, and I, we all have warned the foreman and

00:29:29.829 --> 00:29:33.519
the planet supervisor. Something was going to

00:29:33.519 --> 00:29:36.839
happen. This guy is a danger to himself and others.

00:29:37.039 --> 00:29:43.579
He about hit the lady that works in there, that

00:29:43.579 --> 00:29:46.440
runs our office. She come walking out to the

00:29:46.440 --> 00:29:50.279
shop. He swung a piece of steel and about hit

00:29:50.279 --> 00:29:54.460
her. He threw it? He threw it? Or what? No, no,

00:29:54.460 --> 00:29:57.500
no. He was picking it up to carry it. Oh. But

00:29:57.500 --> 00:30:00.079
he wasn't watching what he was doing and he about

00:30:00.079 --> 00:30:05.269
hit her. Geez. No, that guy is dangerous. Yeah,

00:30:05.289 --> 00:30:08.109
I mean, he does not have a brain. He don't watch.

00:30:08.289 --> 00:30:12.349
He's dangerous. Wow. We're trying to figure out

00:30:12.349 --> 00:30:16.589
how to get him out of there. We really are. Yeah,

00:30:16.589 --> 00:30:19.470
no, you got to. He is going to either hurt himself

00:30:19.470 --> 00:30:23.910
really bad or somebody else or both. Wow. Yeah.

00:30:25.009 --> 00:30:28.599
Oh, there's more stories, but that's it. I don't

00:30:28.599 --> 00:30:31.059
want to go into all of them. I've worked around

00:30:31.059 --> 00:30:33.339
people like that, and I've never known a case

00:30:33.339 --> 00:30:35.599
where they didn't do something that eventually

00:30:35.599 --> 00:30:40.480
did get them terminated, but it took extreme,

00:30:40.759 --> 00:30:42.559
you know what I mean? Like, they hurt so bad.

00:30:44.259 --> 00:30:48.900
We're hoping this is it, because, yeah, we can't

00:30:48.900 --> 00:30:53.359
deal with it. I mean, it's too easy to get hurt

00:30:53.359 --> 00:30:56.220
around there, and when you don't pay attention...

00:30:56.599 --> 00:30:59.039
You just turn around and start walking. You can't

00:30:59.039 --> 00:31:02.859
do that. You've got people moving steel. You've

00:31:02.859 --> 00:31:06.519
got forklifts coming through. It should be easy

00:31:06.519 --> 00:31:09.019
to get rid of them because safety is one of those

00:31:09.019 --> 00:31:12.779
things. No, they have not. We've brought it to

00:31:12.779 --> 00:31:16.099
them. I don't know what their deal is. I don't

00:31:16.099 --> 00:31:21.559
know. Maybe now the office may see it now. And

00:31:21.559 --> 00:31:24.789
we've got to get through this. to get to that.

00:31:24.950 --> 00:31:27.769
And then I know, I know quite about, I know quite

00:31:27.769 --> 00:31:30.750
a bit about this, um, uh, because I've worked

00:31:30.750 --> 00:31:32.970
around it my whole life being in construction.

00:31:33.009 --> 00:31:37.490
Right. Okay. Now, um, they have to be, there's,

00:31:37.490 --> 00:31:40.789
there has to be protocol, especially after a

00:31:40.789 --> 00:31:44.210
worker's comp case. Oh yeah, you cannot do nothing

00:31:44.210 --> 00:31:47.089
after. No, you have to leave them alone for amount

00:31:47.089 --> 00:31:49.829
of time and you have to have a preponderance

00:31:49.829 --> 00:31:53.460
of evidence to get rid of them. Because they

00:31:53.460 --> 00:31:55.940
can come back and go, it's retaliation over this.

00:31:56.880 --> 00:32:01.500
Here's the other thing. Hiring back, he worked

00:32:01.500 --> 00:32:06.759
there like three, four years ago. Now that's

00:32:06.759 --> 00:32:10.380
not a short time. And we hired him back. Well,

00:32:10.460 --> 00:32:14.279
since he's been back, we don't think he's put

00:32:14.279 --> 00:32:19.779
in a full 40 hours. He takes whatever time off.

00:32:19.940 --> 00:32:24.000
You know what I mean? He just bought a house.

00:32:24.859 --> 00:32:27.660
Missed two days of work buying a house and then

00:32:27.660 --> 00:32:33.400
moving. Dude, no. You gotta fucking work. Especially

00:32:33.400 --> 00:32:38.839
in a shop where there's one person per job. We

00:32:38.839 --> 00:32:42.119
run out of skeleton group. The problem is, like

00:32:42.119 --> 00:32:44.279
I said, I've been around this a long, long time.

00:32:44.440 --> 00:32:49.319
It causes discontent. among the workers, when

00:32:49.319 --> 00:32:52.240
one guy's not producing, constantly fucking with

00:32:52.240 --> 00:32:54.779
stuff, constantly screwing stuff up, it makes

00:32:54.779 --> 00:32:56.819
the other workers pissed off, and eventually

00:32:56.819 --> 00:33:01.319
it makes them lose interest in working. Because

00:33:01.319 --> 00:33:03.460
they're like, well, why should I do all this?

00:33:03.720 --> 00:33:06.660
They're just letting him just do whatever. You

00:33:06.660 --> 00:33:08.779
gotta watch that. It's a slippery slope, but

00:33:08.779 --> 00:33:10.240
you know what? Hopefully they're smart enough

00:33:10.240 --> 00:33:13.839
to figure it out. The main ones that are watching,

00:33:14.059 --> 00:33:17.809
and there's three of us, Uh -huh. No, there's

00:33:17.809 --> 00:33:20.809
four of us. There's four of us. Yeah. Because

00:33:20.809 --> 00:33:25.309
we pretty much run fabrication. Uh -huh. Just

00:33:25.309 --> 00:33:28.549
saying. Yeah, I get it. I'm going to go into

00:33:28.549 --> 00:33:34.309
all that politics. Okay. Yeah, and we have talked

00:33:34.309 --> 00:33:40.230
to the main boss, but it takes the foreman to

00:33:40.230 --> 00:33:44.329
step up. Uh -huh. And he is not doing it. Okay,

00:33:44.450 --> 00:33:48.609
I said I wasn't going to. but yeah I mean come

00:33:48.609 --> 00:33:52.769
on stupid I mean anybody that cannot do their

00:33:52.769 --> 00:33:54.970
job and is in danger of other people should not

00:33:54.970 --> 00:33:59.970
have that fucking job just saying yeah just saying

00:33:59.970 --> 00:34:04.819
no I agree I agree so All right, well, thank

00:34:04.819 --> 00:34:07.339
you, Rob. Okay, that was my opener for the night.

00:34:07.660 --> 00:34:11.159
That's fine with me. Listen, if they want a bunch

00:34:11.159 --> 00:34:13.400
of ha -ha's, they can turn into the Sunday night

00:34:13.400 --> 00:34:15.480
one. The Sunday night one, that's all it is.

00:34:15.820 --> 00:34:20.199
So, anyhow. Oh, no, we might have a few ha -ha's.

00:34:20.199 --> 00:34:24.360
We will. We will. We definitely will. All right,

00:34:24.400 --> 00:34:26.039
let's take our first break, and we've got some

00:34:26.039 --> 00:34:27.960
emails. That's where the ha -ha's come in, right?

00:34:28.780 --> 00:34:31.599
You know it does. All right. Okay, we'll be right

00:34:31.599 --> 00:34:36.630
back. Next up, Things Overheard in Hell. Well,

00:34:36.730 --> 00:34:40.730
that new Hanson CD is just a laptop. Uh -huh.

00:35:20.360 --> 00:35:24.159
is so fat when she was floating in the ocean

00:35:24.159 --> 00:35:29.019
spain claimed her as their new territory hey

00:35:29.019 --> 00:35:32.400
there we all have those annoying co -workers

00:35:32.400 --> 00:35:35.940
that do nothing there's nothing we can do about

00:35:35.940 --> 00:35:38.300
it because hr departments are running scared

00:35:38.300 --> 00:35:41.320
of lawyers so we have to work with these worthless

00:35:41.320 --> 00:35:44.519
pieces of garbage but we have to communicate

00:35:44.519 --> 00:35:47.619
about them without them knowing about it Here

00:35:47.619 --> 00:35:49.739
at Two Douchebags Microphone, we developed a

00:35:49.739 --> 00:35:51.579
way that you can speak about them right in front

00:35:51.579 --> 00:35:54.500
of them without them knowing about it. Stay tuned.

00:35:55.199 --> 00:35:58.500
First code name, Absolute Zero. They contribute

00:35:58.500 --> 00:36:01.440
nothing and effectively stop all molecular motion

00:36:01.440 --> 00:36:05.159
in the project. Dark matter. You know they're

00:36:05.159 --> 00:36:07.820
there. They take up space, but they provide no

00:36:07.820 --> 00:36:10.119
light and cannot be observed doing actual work.

00:36:11.300 --> 00:36:15.360
Static. High noise. Zero signal. Stays in one

00:36:15.360 --> 00:36:19.369
place. Event Horizon. Once a task enters their

00:36:19.369 --> 00:36:23.190
orbit, it is never seen again. How about Buffer?

00:36:23.230 --> 00:36:26.769
They take 20 minutes to process a 5 second request.

00:36:27.869 --> 00:36:30.949
The Screensaver. Looks like they're working,

00:36:31.090 --> 00:36:33.349
but as soon as you touch them, they disappear.

00:36:34.570 --> 00:36:37.289
Cloud Mode. Just floating around, vague, and

00:36:37.289 --> 00:36:40.010
nobody knows what they actually do. And finally,

00:36:40.170 --> 00:36:44.710
404. Task not found. Stay tuned for more of these

00:36:44.710 --> 00:36:48.719
gems. This is Joshua Belmont, your food for thought

00:36:48.719 --> 00:36:52.480
man on The Hustle. Today, we need to focus on

00:36:52.480 --> 00:36:55.000
the genius Franklin Harris for inventing the

00:36:55.000 --> 00:36:58.900
jukebox override. Some dumbass puts down a hundred

00:36:58.900 --> 00:37:02.380
on the Melvins to last all night. No worry, thanks

00:37:02.380 --> 00:37:05.699
to Mr. Harris. Just put in a buck a song to override

00:37:05.699 --> 00:37:09.360
shitty music and you can be the hero. Mr. Harris,

00:37:09.539 --> 00:37:12.480
not many stop to admire your fine work, but we

00:37:12.480 --> 00:37:15.440
do here at Two Douchebags and a Microphone. Thank

00:37:15.440 --> 00:37:18.780
you, Mr. Harris, for being a patriotic, great

00:37:18.780 --> 00:37:22.659
human being. Two douchebags and a microphone.

00:37:22.980 --> 00:37:27.940
There is no escape. Enter at your own risk. You

00:37:27.940 --> 00:37:31.840
will not make it out. Run while you still can.

00:37:32.940 --> 00:37:37.900
Bitches. Strange, but true. There are lakes that

00:37:37.900 --> 00:37:40.280
peel the flesh off your bones. Lake Natron in

00:37:40.280 --> 00:37:43.119
Tanzania is so alkaline it can burn through skin.

00:37:43.340 --> 00:37:46.079
It also mummifies animals that fall in, leaving

00:37:46.079 --> 00:37:58.960
creepy stone -like statues behind. Here in the

00:37:58.960 --> 00:38:02.739
Kansas City area, the extreme southern tip of

00:38:02.739 --> 00:38:09.480
the Metroplex at the Talk is Cheap studio. And

00:38:09.480 --> 00:38:14.519
I am Rob in Wheatland, Missouri, home of Lucas

00:38:14.519 --> 00:38:18.340
Oil Speedway and Watertrack, and also home of

00:38:18.340 --> 00:38:20.559
the Picamo Country Store, where you can find

00:38:20.559 --> 00:38:24.340
all your needs, including a selfie with the green

00:38:24.340 --> 00:38:28.599
Sinclair dinosaur with a huge penis. In the Doug

00:38:28.599 --> 00:38:32.579
Blyer Studio. I'm like a little kid. Every time

00:38:32.579 --> 00:38:41.550
you say huge penis, I giggle. All right. We don't

00:38:41.550 --> 00:38:43.869
have a whole lot of e -mails because, like I

00:38:43.869 --> 00:38:46.469
thought was going to happen, everyone's e -mailing

00:38:46.469 --> 00:38:50.409
about the other show. We're kind of like garbage

00:38:50.409 --> 00:38:53.429
now. Oh, that one? Oh, yeah, I listened to it.

00:38:53.530 --> 00:38:56.409
Oh, no, the tover's back. Thanks, guys. Yeah,

00:38:56.469 --> 00:38:58.750
yeah, thanks a lot. Thanks for shitting on us.

00:38:59.489 --> 00:39:02.889
All right. I guarantee I know somebody that e

00:39:02.889 --> 00:39:08.900
-mailed. Yeah, you do. Yep. Yeah, you do. Yep.

00:39:10.079 --> 00:39:12.739
Hey, guys. Just checking in with you. The new

00:39:12.739 --> 00:39:15.800
show with the three of you is pretty epic. I

00:39:15.800 --> 00:39:18.340
also love the alternate universe douchebags.

00:39:18.739 --> 00:39:22.599
Terry and Memphis. Thank you. We think it's pretty

00:39:22.599 --> 00:39:25.219
damn good, too. But what about us? What about

00:39:25.219 --> 00:39:27.219
me and Rob? How does that make us feel, Terry?

00:39:27.400 --> 00:39:36.860
Right, Rob? I'm kind of hurt. Well, yeah. Personally,

00:39:36.980 --> 00:39:40.239
I'm really liking the three of us. Oh, I love

00:39:40.239 --> 00:39:44.099
that show. I love that show. I mean, I personally

00:39:44.099 --> 00:39:46.980
have been working on this thing where we don't

00:39:46.980 --> 00:39:49.960
see each other and trying not to cut each other

00:39:49.960 --> 00:39:53.019
off and all that. Yeah. But now there's three

00:39:53.019 --> 00:39:56.260
of us since, you know, I've been doing this,

00:39:56.260 --> 00:39:58.159
what, three years? Yeah. Something like that.

00:39:58.199 --> 00:40:00.739
Yeah, over three years. Going on four years.

00:40:00.940 --> 00:40:04.980
Yep. Yeah, May 29th will be four years. Wow.

00:40:05.500 --> 00:40:10.699
Yeah, I've learned a lot in that time. And I

00:40:10.699 --> 00:40:14.840
believe it's showing with Topher back. Because

00:40:14.840 --> 00:40:18.300
like you said, that first show, we were kind

00:40:18.300 --> 00:40:20.400
of cutting him off a little bit. Now some of

00:40:20.400 --> 00:40:23.780
it had to do with volume. But we were used to

00:40:23.780 --> 00:40:27.360
it just being us. Just like you two are used

00:40:27.360 --> 00:40:30.139
to it being you two. You know what I mean? It

00:40:30.139 --> 00:40:32.039
takes a while to figure out the other guy. We

00:40:32.039 --> 00:40:35.559
are doing great. I really do. We are. That's

00:40:35.559 --> 00:40:38.360
my personal opinion. Yeah, no, no, no, we are.

00:40:38.500 --> 00:40:40.440
And I'm just kidding with Terry. I think Terry

00:40:40.440 --> 00:40:42.340
probably knows this. Oh, I know, I know. Yeah.

00:40:43.099 --> 00:40:45.139
And the reason I'm saying that is because he

00:40:45.139 --> 00:40:47.659
said, just checking in with you, the new show

00:40:47.659 --> 00:40:49.679
with the three of you is pretty epic. I also

00:40:49.679 --> 00:40:52.420
love the alternative universe, douchebags. But

00:40:52.420 --> 00:40:55.179
he didn't say anything about this one. But that's

00:40:55.179 --> 00:40:57.980
fine. We're fine. That's you and Topher. We got

00:40:57.980 --> 00:41:01.019
a lot of Topher fans. Shit, yeah, I know. I thought

00:41:01.019 --> 00:41:04.079
you had a lot of fans. Topher seems to have just

00:41:04.079 --> 00:41:07.480
as many. And me, I don't know. Everybody thinks

00:41:07.480 --> 00:41:09.619
I'm chopped shit or something. So it's all right.

00:41:09.659 --> 00:41:14.119
I don't care. All right. You guys should get

00:41:14.119 --> 00:41:17.500
Aldo Nova to do an intro song for the show. Jamila

00:41:17.500 --> 00:41:23.039
in Canada. Amen. Yeah, I'd love it. You got his

00:41:23.039 --> 00:41:27.420
number? Jamila, do you have his number? I can

00:41:27.420 --> 00:41:31.170
email him. There. There you go. I'm sure he'll

00:41:31.170 --> 00:41:33.250
be right on that. We'll see what it would cost.

00:41:33.570 --> 00:41:37.150
You know what? I might be able to do it. All

00:41:37.150 --> 00:41:39.190
right. You know, Jamel, it probably won't happen,

00:41:39.269 --> 00:41:41.989
but if it does, thank you for the advice. Oh,

00:41:41.989 --> 00:41:48.869
dude. Jamel, that is the best idea ever in the

00:41:48.869 --> 00:41:51.130
history of this world. Well, we both are huge

00:41:51.130 --> 00:41:53.630
Aldo Nova fans, and I think Aldo Nova is from

00:41:53.630 --> 00:41:57.050
Canada, isn't he? Yes, he is. He is Canadian,

00:41:57.170 --> 00:42:01.780
yes. Okay. He's a Canadian -Italian, I do believe.

00:42:01.920 --> 00:42:03.960
Or Italian -Canadian, or however they say it

00:42:03.960 --> 00:42:10.119
up there. He's more Canadian. Yeah. He claims.

00:42:10.739 --> 00:42:14.099
Yeah. Great guitarist. You and I have both been

00:42:14.099 --> 00:42:18.280
big fans of his. Alright, next one. So guys,

00:42:18.440 --> 00:42:21.219
still no arrests. Yeah, Mark was right. Complete

00:42:21.219 --> 00:42:24.900
cover -up bullshit. Ronnie and Tulsa. The Tulsa

00:42:24.900 --> 00:42:28.489
King. Yeah. Ronnie, I don't know what else to

00:42:28.489 --> 00:42:31.949
say. It doesn't matter how deep this thing gets,

00:42:32.190 --> 00:42:35.269
how much they show, all the photos, everything.

00:42:36.010 --> 00:42:38.630
Still, I just see people getting on the stand

00:42:38.630 --> 00:42:41.309
and don't recall anything, which is bullshit.

00:42:41.949 --> 00:42:45.969
Bullshit. Bullshit. Yeah, no, they never did

00:42:45.969 --> 00:42:48.210
a plan on arresting anybody, and they're not

00:42:48.210 --> 00:42:52.309
going to. I said this from a long time ago when

00:42:52.309 --> 00:42:55.590
I did the I Call Bullshit. Power protects power.

00:42:57.059 --> 00:43:01.659
Look at it. Look at it. From a Ponzi scheme to

00:43:01.659 --> 00:43:04.860
this bullshit of pedophilia. Nobody goes to jail,

00:43:04.940 --> 00:43:07.699
and if they do, it's a big fucking, it's a resort.

00:43:08.460 --> 00:43:11.460
So, we're not a part of that upper crust. We'll

00:43:11.460 --> 00:43:14.840
never see it, but they get to enjoy it. I mean,

00:43:14.900 --> 00:43:17.079
what they're doing is hideous, don't get me wrong.

00:43:17.260 --> 00:43:19.519
They get to do whatever they want with no consequences,

00:43:19.840 --> 00:43:24.139
unlike us. So, the people that point out racism

00:43:24.139 --> 00:43:27.030
and all this shit, Now, what it actually is,

00:43:27.130 --> 00:43:30.250
it's us and them. It's classism. It's money.

00:43:30.650 --> 00:43:34.710
Classism. It always has been. Yep. If you're

00:43:34.710 --> 00:43:36.809
not one of the ones that have your pockets lined

00:43:36.809 --> 00:43:39.150
with silver, you're fucked. You're going to be

00:43:39.150 --> 00:43:42.250
a working fucking drag like the rest of us. So

00:43:42.250 --> 00:43:45.050
that's the way it is. If you think about it,

00:43:45.090 --> 00:43:48.630
any other pedophile gets beat the shit out of

00:43:48.630 --> 00:43:50.829
in prison. Yeah, not these guys. They don't even

00:43:50.829 --> 00:43:56.769
see prison. No. No. One died. Yeah, and that's

00:43:56.769 --> 00:44:01.929
about it. That was suicide. Allegedly. I'm telling

00:44:01.929 --> 00:44:05.349
you, he's alive. He had too many people in high

00:44:05.349 --> 00:44:09.329
places. There are a lot of people that believe

00:44:09.329 --> 00:44:15.250
in that. I would bet my 401k and my pension on

00:44:15.250 --> 00:44:18.769
it that he's alive. I don't know. Some of the

00:44:18.769 --> 00:44:23.610
stories I've been reading. What? I don't know.

00:44:24.730 --> 00:44:28.250
Stories about the guards that were supposed to

00:44:28.250 --> 00:44:31.829
be on duty. No, I know. That's what I'm saying.

00:44:31.829 --> 00:44:36.769
Somebody on camera. I don't know. Okay, the deal

00:44:36.769 --> 00:44:40.230
is, it was like you could tell that like, okay,

00:44:40.269 --> 00:44:44.670
this guy left. His roommate was gone. The guards

00:44:44.670 --> 00:44:47.469
suddenly forgot about him. One was off duty.

00:44:47.590 --> 00:44:53.099
Another one, the camera went out. All these things

00:44:53.099 --> 00:44:55.780
had to happen for it to happen. And then he had

00:44:55.780 --> 00:44:58.260
to hang himself with, I don't know, his shoestring

00:44:58.260 --> 00:45:01.599
or some shit about six inches. No, I don't believe

00:45:01.599 --> 00:45:04.820
any of fucking any. Not one bit of that. And

00:45:04.820 --> 00:45:06.659
that's why I don't think he's dead. Yeah, last

00:45:06.659 --> 00:45:09.340
time I knew, they didn't allow shoestrings in

00:45:09.340 --> 00:45:12.119
jail anymore. Yeah, how did all this come to

00:45:12.119 --> 00:45:17.199
fruition when he was on suicide watch? Yeah,

00:45:17.219 --> 00:45:19.860
uh -huh. You guys tell me what happened there.

00:45:20.250 --> 00:45:23.269
I think it's a big fucking lie, like the rest

00:45:23.269 --> 00:45:30.230
of this bullshit. So, all right. Mark, who would

00:45:30.230 --> 00:45:32.530
be your favorite guitarist of all time? Same

00:45:32.530 --> 00:45:35.949
for you, Rob. Tony in Atlanta. Tony, thank you.

00:45:36.969 --> 00:45:41.530
Yep. Boy, man, that's a tough one. I have so

00:45:41.530 --> 00:45:45.949
many guitarists that I just fucking love. I think

00:45:45.949 --> 00:45:49.420
I'm... I've always went with this guy. On any

00:45:49.420 --> 00:45:52.380
of the musical lists we did, I've got to go with

00:45:52.380 --> 00:45:56.400
this guy. I've got to go with Richie Blackmore.

00:45:57.659 --> 00:46:01.460
You know what? I'm going to go with Tony Iommi,

00:46:01.500 --> 00:46:04.639
but Richie Blackmore is right there. Yeah, either

00:46:04.639 --> 00:46:10.639
one of the two. I am a Richie fan. Well, Richie

00:46:10.639 --> 00:46:13.360
was a lot more versatile. I mean, you know, he

00:46:13.360 --> 00:46:15.179
goes to Rainbow and does different music. He

00:46:15.179 --> 00:46:17.119
goes back to Purple and does different music.

00:46:17.199 --> 00:46:21.000
I mean, and now he does Celtic music. So I can

00:46:21.000 --> 00:46:24.440
definitely see you saying that. Yeah. But just

00:46:24.440 --> 00:46:28.380
to be... Now, don't get me wrong, and this goes

00:46:28.380 --> 00:46:32.880
back to the earlier. Uh -huh. Aldo Nova is in

00:46:32.880 --> 00:46:35.659
my top five. Oh, yeah, he's fucking awesome.

00:46:35.820 --> 00:46:39.739
Aldo Nova is in my top five. Yeah. Yep, Nuno

00:46:39.739 --> 00:46:42.159
Betancourt really scores high. Eddie Van Halen

00:46:42.159 --> 00:46:45.820
scores high. You know, I mean, there's so many

00:46:45.820 --> 00:46:48.920
of them. Randy Rhoades is up there. And people

00:46:48.920 --> 00:46:53.480
go, well, Randy Rhoades, here's the deal. Randy

00:46:53.480 --> 00:46:55.639
Rhoades is back in the early 80s, and he pretty

00:46:55.639 --> 00:46:57.940
much invented all this modern stuff like that,

00:46:58.019 --> 00:46:59.780
okay? Him and Eddie Van Halen did. They're both

00:46:59.780 --> 00:47:03.159
in the L .A. scene. Now, people are judging what

00:47:03.159 --> 00:47:04.980
he did back then and going, well, he wasn't that

00:47:04.980 --> 00:47:07.690
fantastic. Everybody can do that now. Yeah, that

00:47:07.690 --> 00:47:09.949
was back then. Imagine if he lived and he progressed.

00:47:10.269 --> 00:47:12.449
Think of where he'd be right now if he lived.

00:47:12.989 --> 00:47:16.449
Think of that. Look at the technology since then.

00:47:16.650 --> 00:47:18.869
Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Anyone that says

00:47:18.869 --> 00:47:22.389
that is just not thinking correctly. No, that

00:47:22.389 --> 00:47:24.630
guy would have been just fucking lights out,

00:47:24.670 --> 00:47:28.710
just stupid. That goes back to stupid employees.

00:47:29.250 --> 00:47:34.139
Yeah, yeah, people. Yeah, you're right. All right,

00:47:34.280 --> 00:47:37.280
okay, so yours is Blackmore and mine's Iommi,

00:47:37.320 --> 00:47:39.460
and they're both just right there. So, yeah,

00:47:39.539 --> 00:47:42.599
I see how Kevin took Blackmore. And I very easily

00:47:42.599 --> 00:47:44.460
could have taken Blackmore, but I'm going to

00:47:44.460 --> 00:47:47.519
be different than you and just pick Iommi. All

00:47:47.519 --> 00:47:49.699
right, can't go wrong with either one of them.

00:47:50.440 --> 00:47:53.420
All right, Rob, I need my grain bin worked on,

00:47:53.500 --> 00:47:56.239
probably some MIG welding as such. We need it

00:47:56.239 --> 00:47:58.360
up and going before severe weather season. Too

00:47:58.360 --> 00:48:03.039
late with that, Willie and Montrose. Willie's

00:48:03.039 --> 00:48:07.460
back. Okay, Willie, I'm sorry. I'm not a welder.

00:48:08.119 --> 00:48:11.739
My eyesight will not allow me to weld. Oh, believe

00:48:11.739 --> 00:48:14.360
me, I know. That's why I had to quit doing that

00:48:14.360 --> 00:48:16.599
and go into glass and railings is because of

00:48:16.599 --> 00:48:20.980
that. Yeah, my eyesight, yeah, I cannot weld.

00:48:21.219 --> 00:48:24.039
But if you need to steal, I might be able to

00:48:24.039 --> 00:48:26.760
get you a discount price. There you go, Willie.

00:48:28.079 --> 00:48:31.420
Hey, Willie. Hey, Willie, thank you. It's been

00:48:31.420 --> 00:48:33.670
a while. Yeah, Willie's the guy that's going

00:48:33.670 --> 00:48:36.269
to lend us his extension cord from his double

00:48:36.269 --> 00:48:40.590
wide to have power at the campgrounds. Yeah,

00:48:40.590 --> 00:48:42.809
Willie, thank you for checking back with us.

00:48:42.889 --> 00:48:45.449
And as far as getting it up before severe weather

00:48:45.449 --> 00:48:49.349
season, no, too late. Yeah, you're a little late.

00:48:49.349 --> 00:48:52.989
A little late. All right, and then finally, Mark,

00:48:53.130 --> 00:48:55.289
where can I get the best seafood in Key West?

00:48:55.489 --> 00:48:59.460
Also at Cabana. Frederick in Allentown, probably

00:48:59.460 --> 00:49:02.699
Pennsylvania, I'd imagine. Yep, I would say so.

00:49:03.639 --> 00:49:06.900
Frederick. Okay, number one in Key West, there's

00:49:06.900 --> 00:49:09.739
a lot of really good, fresh seafood restaurants.

00:49:10.139 --> 00:49:12.719
And the locals will tell you this, so I'm going

00:49:12.719 --> 00:49:16.639
to tell you this. All right. The box truck ones

00:49:16.639 --> 00:49:20.280
you don't go to. And what that is is it's refrigerated

00:49:20.280 --> 00:49:24.019
box trucks. They buy that stuff already frozen.

00:49:24.679 --> 00:49:26.739
The ones that don't have the box trucks, and

00:49:26.739 --> 00:49:29.159
you can ask the locals because they see it. Okay,

00:49:29.260 --> 00:49:31.239
and they'll tell you. They'll go, oh, that one

00:49:31.239 --> 00:49:34.360
over there, that crab place. No, no, no. That's

00:49:34.360 --> 00:49:37.820
a box store is what they call it. Or a box restaurant

00:49:37.820 --> 00:49:39.960
is what they call it. And that means that the

00:49:39.960 --> 00:49:43.260
frozen box truck goes there and delivers it and

00:49:43.260 --> 00:49:45.159
it's not fresh. They don't have someone catching

00:49:45.159 --> 00:49:47.059
it right off the coast or nothing like that.

00:49:48.619 --> 00:49:51.239
And what you do is you go to the locals, you

00:49:51.239 --> 00:49:55.320
know, you go into a, I don't know, a food mart,

00:49:55.579 --> 00:49:58.980
a gas station, ask them, and they'll tell you

00:49:58.980 --> 00:50:01.500
which ones are the box truck ones and which ones

00:50:01.500 --> 00:50:04.659
are not. And as far as a Cubana, I've had a lot

00:50:04.659 --> 00:50:06.380
of really good Cubanas there because there's

00:50:06.380 --> 00:50:08.780
a lot of Cubans in Key West, but the best one

00:50:08.780 --> 00:50:14.099
is Big Mama's. Big Mama's Cubano is the best,

00:50:14.139 --> 00:50:18.059
hands down. That thing is out of this world.

00:50:18.860 --> 00:50:21.940
I'll tell you that just the taste, everything,

00:50:22.079 --> 00:50:24.539
it's just phenomenal. So there you go, Frederick.

00:50:24.699 --> 00:50:26.960
I hope you have fun in Key West. Take the Sunset

00:50:26.960 --> 00:50:32.139
Tour. Let's see what, oh, go to Latitudes. If

00:50:32.139 --> 00:50:35.039
you could afford it, it's a little spicy, or

00:50:35.039 --> 00:50:38.659
not spicy, a little pricey. And also go to Better

00:50:38.659 --> 00:50:41.630
Than Sex Dessert Restaurant. Those are my three

00:50:41.630 --> 00:50:43.949
must -dos. And if you feel like getting naked,

00:50:43.989 --> 00:50:46.570
go upstairs to Adam and Eve, the bar right there

00:50:46.570 --> 00:50:48.630
on, what is the name of that street? Fuck, I

00:50:48.630 --> 00:50:52.030
can't think of it. Anyhow, yeah. So those are

00:50:52.030 --> 00:50:55.449
my suggestions. Go to Fort Zachary Taylor. Oh,

00:50:55.590 --> 00:50:59.630
the Dry Tortugas. That's a two -hour boat ride,

00:50:59.730 --> 00:51:04.170
but it is a, excuse me. It's a two -hour boat

00:51:04.170 --> 00:51:06.389
ride, but they serve drinks so you don't give

00:51:06.389 --> 00:51:10.760
a shit. It's Old Fort Jefferson. and it is uh

00:51:10.760 --> 00:51:13.300
it's called the dry tortugas because it's an

00:51:13.300 --> 00:51:16.780
island out off of the coast you can see cuba

00:51:16.780 --> 00:51:19.219
from there it is it's really cool it's quite

00:51:19.219 --> 00:51:21.699
an experience then on the way back they really

00:51:21.699 --> 00:51:25.380
opened the bar and by the time you get back you're

00:51:25.380 --> 00:51:28.179
pretty lit uh we ubered back to the hotel and

00:51:28.179 --> 00:51:30.280
i promptly destroyed the furniture by falling

00:51:30.280 --> 00:51:34.059
on it i'm not joking you for real i was fucking

00:51:34.059 --> 00:51:37.019
plowed that was the most plowed i got since i

00:51:37.019 --> 00:51:40.159
was a teenager I was so smashed from those free

00:51:40.159 --> 00:51:43.159
drinks. Yeah, we made it back to the resort,

00:51:43.460 --> 00:51:47.119
and I'm trying to take my clothes off to go to

00:51:47.119 --> 00:51:52.260
sleep, right? And I fell on the end table and

00:51:52.260 --> 00:51:54.860
some other little table there, and I smashed

00:51:54.860 --> 00:51:57.739
them to nothing. And we never did get billed

00:51:57.739 --> 00:52:01.559
for it. So, anyhow, do all that, Frederick. So,

00:52:01.599 --> 00:52:08.500
anyhow, Rob, let's turn it to you. You must.

00:52:08.960 --> 00:52:17.159
I must. You know what time it is. Yep. The bell

00:52:17.159 --> 00:52:23.139
just rang. Oh, the paper bell. Yay. It's Rob's

00:52:23.139 --> 00:52:29.320
bag of garbage. Yay. And actually, man, I was

00:52:29.320 --> 00:52:31.420
really wanting to save this one for Sunday night.

00:52:31.539 --> 00:52:35.469
Well, go ahead if you want. Go ahead and save

00:52:35.469 --> 00:52:37.489
it for that. No, no, I'm not pulling it out.

00:52:37.590 --> 00:52:44.630
I've got to read it. Okay. Okay. A study found

00:52:44.630 --> 00:52:47.329
that thousands of men in the U .S. ended up in

00:52:47.329 --> 00:52:50.289
emergency rooms because of one painful problem.

00:52:52.730 --> 00:53:00.650
Browser zippers. Oh! Yeah. Research. Researchers

00:53:00.650 --> 00:53:07.530
estimate that from 2002 to 2010, about 17 ,600

00:53:07.530 --> 00:53:12.030
people went to the ER with genital injuries linked

00:53:12.030 --> 00:53:15.730
to zippers. In almost every case, the injury

00:53:15.730 --> 00:53:22.550
involved the penis. Yeah, normally does. Wow.

00:53:22.670 --> 00:53:26.989
The study said zippers are the number one cause

00:53:26.989 --> 00:53:30.369
of penile injuries in adult men. making up nearly

00:53:30.369 --> 00:53:34.130
one in five of these injuries. Later medical

00:53:34.130 --> 00:53:38.210
sources say this still happens around 2 ,000

00:53:38.210 --> 00:53:42.449
times a year. The good news is that many of these

00:53:42.449 --> 00:53:45.489
injuries are treatable without major intervention.

00:53:46.550 --> 00:53:50.170
But many men make things worse by trying to free

00:53:50.170 --> 00:53:53.329
the skin themselves before going to the hospital.

00:53:53.849 --> 00:53:59.860
The tiny zipper can cause a very... I've had

00:53:59.860 --> 00:54:03.639
that happen, haven't you? Yes, because if you

00:54:03.639 --> 00:54:07.300
think about it, it hurt getting on there. You've

00:54:07.300 --> 00:54:13.239
got to get it back off. Yes. Well, that's when

00:54:13.239 --> 00:54:15.699
the real damage happens, is getting it back off.

00:54:15.719 --> 00:54:22.300
Yeah, it's kind of like sticking your arm through

00:54:22.300 --> 00:54:26.300
glass or something. Going through the glass won't

00:54:26.300 --> 00:54:31.320
cut you. It's when you pull your arm back. Yes.

00:54:31.320 --> 00:54:36.599
Yep. So, yeah. But in this case, it got you the

00:54:36.599 --> 00:54:38.940
first time. It's really going to get you the

00:54:38.940 --> 00:54:41.800
second. I've had it so bad. I mean, you know

00:54:41.800 --> 00:54:46.440
you have to get it off. And it hurts like hell,

00:54:46.539 --> 00:54:51.079
right? But it is almost impossible to just rip

00:54:51.079 --> 00:54:53.400
that down and know you're going to rip everything

00:54:53.400 --> 00:54:56.440
down there in the process. But it has to be done.

00:55:02.889 --> 00:55:07.170
Oh, shit. I had that happen, and I put a bunch

00:55:07.170 --> 00:55:11.429
of toilet paper around my penis and scrotum and

00:55:11.429 --> 00:55:14.710
all that good stuff, right? And what happened

00:55:14.710 --> 00:55:18.789
is it scabbed over. Then I had to run my penis

00:55:18.789 --> 00:55:22.809
and nuts under hot water to get the scabs to

00:55:22.809 --> 00:55:26.429
loosen up to take off the toilet paper. It sucked.

00:55:29.030 --> 00:55:35.769
So, if you ever have that happen, be aware. Hey,

00:55:35.789 --> 00:55:38.530
Al, go ahead. Sorry. Okay, well, I'm going to

00:55:38.530 --> 00:55:40.989
have one more, but what does it mean when you

00:55:40.989 --> 00:55:46.349
get surrounded by a bunch of ladybugs? Um, you're

00:55:46.349 --> 00:55:51.010
a daisy? I don't know. In a loft. In a loft?

00:55:51.789 --> 00:55:54.289
That's good luck. I'm watching two ladybugs run

00:55:54.289 --> 00:55:59.150
around. That's good luck, supposedly. Cool. Well,

00:55:59.170 --> 00:56:01.650
it wasn't Sunday night, because during Sunday

00:56:01.650 --> 00:56:05.809
night's podcast, I was nice and comfortable,

00:56:06.010 --> 00:56:09.070
but by the time we got done, it had dropped like

00:56:09.070 --> 00:56:12.389
10, 15 degrees up here. Oh, yeah. I was shivering,

00:56:12.570 --> 00:56:16.429
but I was going to have to pause and run downstairs

00:56:16.429 --> 00:56:18.849
and put on a jacket. See, the cold front came

00:56:18.849 --> 00:56:21.030
through here in the afternoon, so I figured it

00:56:21.030 --> 00:56:23.150
would probably be down there up then, so, yeah.

00:56:23.849 --> 00:56:26.929
Well, and then tonight, I'm sitting up here,

00:56:26.969 --> 00:56:30.110
nothing but the loincloth, no shirt, just loincloth.

00:56:30.329 --> 00:56:33.170
Oh, yeah, because it's so hot. And still sweat.

00:56:34.570 --> 00:56:37.710
I'll tell you, this weather is fucked. This weather

00:56:37.710 --> 00:56:43.530
is fucked. Hey, watch what you say. Oh, I love

00:56:43.530 --> 00:56:46.170
it, though. I love this weather. I love Mother

00:56:46.170 --> 00:56:50.530
Nature. Good boy. Thank you. Thanks for reminding

00:56:50.530 --> 00:56:54.170
me. All right. Let's go for one more reach. All

00:56:54.170 --> 00:57:00.010
right. Oh, here's a good one. Actually, this

00:57:00.010 --> 00:57:02.530
kind of ends it on a positive note. All right.

00:57:06.280 --> 00:57:10.559
Alias Mike Anderson was 23 when he robbed a Burger

00:57:10.559 --> 00:57:15.239
King manager in Missouri for $2 ,000. The judge

00:57:15.239 --> 00:57:20.219
handed down 13 years. Anderson went home expecting

00:57:20.219 --> 00:57:24.960
marshals to arrive any day. They never did. A

00:57:24.960 --> 00:57:28.400
clerical error meant no transport order was ever

00:57:28.400 --> 00:57:32.260
issued. The system recorded him as incarcerated.

00:57:58.259 --> 00:58:03.619
Yeah. Neighbors. Neighbors knew him as reliable

00:58:03.619 --> 00:58:08.260
and kind. He paid his taxes every year. He showed

00:58:08.260 --> 00:58:15.940
up. In 2013, as his release date approached,

00:58:16.300 --> 00:58:20.579
the routine records check revealed the truth.

00:58:21.280 --> 00:58:24.320
Anderson never spent a single day behind bars.

00:58:25.360 --> 00:58:28.019
Authorities arrested him immediately and sent

00:58:28.019 --> 00:58:31.030
him to prison to serve the sentence. that had

00:58:31.030 --> 00:58:35.030
been lost in the paperwork. His case made national

00:58:35.030 --> 00:58:38.690
headlines. Community members, employers, and

00:58:38.690 --> 00:58:42.809
his pastor testified not about his crime, but

00:58:42.809 --> 00:58:48.289
about the man he had become. Yeah. In 2014, a

00:58:48.289 --> 00:58:52.449
Missouri judge made a stunning decision. Anderson

00:58:52.449 --> 00:58:55.969
had already served his sentence in the most meaningful

00:58:55.969 --> 00:59:00.190
way possible. He had rehailed him. rehabilitated

00:59:00.190 --> 00:59:05.070
himself without guards, without programs, without

00:59:05.070 --> 00:59:09.230
supervision. Sending him to prison now would

00:59:09.230 --> 00:59:13.650
punish his success and serve no public good.

00:59:14.329 --> 00:59:18.469
The judge ordered him released. The case became

00:59:18.469 --> 00:59:21.809
a quiet landmark about what redemption looks

00:59:21.809 --> 00:59:27.889
like when no one is keeping score. Wow. Dude,

00:59:27.929 --> 00:59:31.000
I love that. I do, too. They're right. That's

00:59:31.000 --> 00:59:33.780
what you want them to do. That is the idea of

00:59:33.780 --> 00:59:37.400
them recovering. You know, most people, not all

00:59:37.400 --> 00:59:38.860
of them, there are certain things you can do

00:59:38.860 --> 00:59:41.719
that you don't deserve a second chance. But on

00:59:41.719 --> 00:59:45.119
most cases, people deserve a second chance. And

00:59:45.119 --> 00:59:48.920
he took his second chance through an accident.

00:59:49.199 --> 00:59:52.880
But, yeah. It was not his fault. There was a

00:59:52.880 --> 00:59:57.059
clerical error. No. Nope, I don't blame him.

00:59:57.239 --> 00:59:59.840
Not at all. Well, I'm glad the judge did that.

00:59:59.900 --> 01:00:02.820
That's good. All right. Let's take our second

01:00:02.820 --> 01:00:04.719
break, and I've got a little story to go into

01:00:04.719 --> 01:00:07.880
down in your neck of the woods. Oh, sounds good.

01:00:08.119 --> 01:00:11.659
Yep. All right. Yes, it's true. Mark is an old

01:00:11.659 --> 01:00:14.760
bastard. It's also true that Mark uses a lot

01:00:14.760 --> 01:00:17.860
of ibuprofen. But Mark would like to tell you,

01:00:17.900 --> 01:00:21.440
if you see any pictures of him roofing ibuprofen,

01:00:21.539 --> 01:00:25.000
it's obviously fake, and you're to take the pictures

01:00:25.000 --> 01:00:29.150
and tear them up immediately. Hi there. This

01:00:29.150 --> 01:00:33.469
is your ears. Why are you listening to this garbage?

01:00:34.389 --> 01:00:37.969
I thought we were friends. Hey everybody, this

01:00:37.969 --> 01:00:40.949
is Uncle Rob. I'm going to give you some tips

01:00:40.949 --> 01:00:44.949
for life. Always answer the phone when I have

01:00:44.949 --> 01:00:49.710
1%. I will hang on as long as I can. That way,

01:00:49.849 --> 01:00:53.250
if it's someone you don't want to talk to, look

01:00:53.250 --> 01:00:57.869
off mid -sentence and you're done. Two douchebags,

01:00:57.929 --> 01:00:59.909
a microphone, and an effort to keep everything

01:00:59.909 --> 01:01:05.829
fresh. We offer you first world problems. Man,

01:01:05.869 --> 01:01:09.150
my internet is so slow. This is bullshit. How

01:01:09.150 --> 01:01:11.469
am I supposed to browse or get on TikTok with

01:01:11.469 --> 01:01:15.250
slow internet? I'm so pissed off right now. I

01:01:15.250 --> 01:01:19.170
don't know what to do. Hey, if you're a fan of

01:01:19.170 --> 01:01:21.369
paying way too much for trinkets and food, well,

01:01:21.449 --> 01:01:24.050
your wish is coming true. hand city international

01:01:24.050 --> 01:01:26.670
airport guest pass program is starting today

01:01:26.670 --> 01:01:30.329
yes you too could overspend on workless trinkets

01:01:30.329 --> 01:01:33.929
and 15 cups of coffee you want to buy a 50 cheap

01:01:33.929 --> 01:01:36.989
t -shirt that has kc western auto building image

01:01:36.989 --> 01:01:40.190
on it we got you covered what a barbecue sauce

01:01:40.190 --> 01:01:43.190
gift pack no problem just a mere 40 bucks on

01:01:43.190 --> 01:01:46.010
your first point hurry you know rubes are jumping

01:01:46.010 --> 01:01:49.880
all over to get to this complete ripoff Because

01:01:49.880 --> 01:01:53.519
people are sheep. Hey, my fellow heavy breathers,

01:01:53.519 --> 01:01:59.860
this is Dash Riptide, your music news. Tony Omi,

01:02:00.019 --> 01:02:02.639
the Godfather of Metal, is featured in the new

01:02:02.639 --> 01:02:05.760
limited docu -series, I Omi, the Godfather of

01:02:05.760 --> 01:02:08.039
Heavy Metal, which streams exclusively on Gibson

01:02:08.039 --> 01:02:11.960
TV, with the first volume released in early 2026.

01:02:12.590 --> 01:02:15.110
The series from Gibson Films explores his life,

01:02:15.230 --> 01:02:17.489
the origins of Black Sabbath, and his immense

01:02:17.489 --> 01:02:20.690
influence on metal and music. A deep dive into

01:02:20.690 --> 01:02:23.010
Iommi's life, including his formative years in

01:02:23.010 --> 01:02:25.429
Birmingham, the extent that shaped his guitar

01:02:25.429 --> 01:02:28.449
sound, and the birth of Black Sabbath. Interviews

01:02:28.449 --> 01:02:30.489
with other legendary musicians like Brian May,

01:02:30.610 --> 01:02:33.489
Rob Halford, Slash, and Zach Wild are also featured.

01:02:34.150 --> 01:02:37.710
Don't miss it. This is Gash Riptine, and that

01:02:37.710 --> 01:02:41.030
was your music news. If it's too loud, you probably

01:02:41.030 --> 01:02:59.329
have ear damage, just like me. City area at the

01:02:59.329 --> 01:03:07.550
Talk is Cheap studio. And I am Rob in Wheatland,

01:03:07.630 --> 01:03:11.579
Missouri. home of the magnificent Lucas Oil Speedway

01:03:11.579 --> 01:03:14.639
and water track, and also home of Hickam's Country

01:03:14.639 --> 01:03:18.059
Store, where you can find all your needs, including

01:03:18.059 --> 01:03:21.579
a selfie with the green Sinclair dinosaur, and,

01:03:21.679 --> 01:03:26.880
yes, for you, Mark, a huge penis. In the Doug

01:03:26.880 --> 01:03:31.300
Barnes studio. Why, thank you, Rob. Now, I actually

01:03:31.300 --> 01:03:33.300
tripped over his penis when I was down there

01:03:33.300 --> 01:03:36.820
one time. Yeah, it's huge. I did, too. Yeah,

01:03:36.860 --> 01:03:40.039
I know. It just kind of like, Goes on the sidewalk

01:03:40.039 --> 01:03:42.739
and just kind of hangs over. And, you know, sometimes

01:03:42.739 --> 01:03:45.119
you're not paying attention and you trip on his

01:03:45.119 --> 01:03:49.059
wiener. It's pretty bad. All right. I skinned

01:03:49.059 --> 01:03:53.199
my knee and my elbow because of his huge penis.

01:03:53.579 --> 01:03:59.320
Not good. All right. Submerged party cove yacht

01:03:59.320 --> 01:04:04.260
from 1987 finally recovered at Lake of the Ozarks.

01:04:05.000 --> 01:04:08.500
After nearly four decades resting at the bottom

01:04:08.500 --> 01:04:12.639
near Party Cove, a neon -trimmed 1987 houseboat

01:04:12.639 --> 01:04:16.000
was lifted from the depths this week by a crane

01:04:16.000 --> 01:04:20.679
barge, stunning onlookers and reawakening what

01:04:20.679 --> 01:04:23.539
locals are calling the most legendary raft -up

01:04:23.539 --> 01:04:27.320
of all time. Divers say the vessel appeared to

01:04:27.320 --> 01:04:30.260
have sunk during what witnesses described back

01:04:30.260 --> 01:04:33.860
then as an aggressively enthusiastic gathering.

01:04:36.750 --> 01:04:38.969
Yeah, in other words, they were partying. They

01:04:38.969 --> 01:04:41.610
were doing coke off of hookers' asses and do

01:04:41.610 --> 01:04:47.690
what? Dating back that far, I almost guarantee

01:04:47.690 --> 01:04:52.469
you that was mile marker 7. Oh, is that where

01:04:52.469 --> 01:04:55.630
the big stuff went? It's been at 7, it's been

01:04:55.630 --> 01:05:01.360
at 14, and now it's at the local. No. Okay. I'm

01:05:01.360 --> 01:05:03.500
guessing that was probably tomorrow, March 7th.

01:05:03.500 --> 01:05:05.780
I don't know. I'm just guessing because I know

01:05:05.780 --> 01:05:12.079
the area. I know the history. Okay. Well, okay,

01:05:12.219 --> 01:05:17.260
the aggressively enthusiastic gathering was pretty

01:05:17.260 --> 01:05:20.380
much code for a huge fucking party. Inside, crews

01:05:20.380 --> 01:05:23.820
reportedly found four unopened cases of Bush,

01:05:24.039 --> 01:05:28.260
a waterlogged cassette labeled Summer 89 Bangers,

01:05:29.449 --> 01:05:32.590
A mullet wig duct taped to the captain's chair.

01:05:33.150 --> 01:05:36.269
And a laminated sign reading, no rules after

01:05:36.269 --> 01:05:43.429
sunset. You know what? If there was a 90 or 89,

01:05:43.610 --> 01:05:49.610
90, yeah, that might be the 14. Okay. That might

01:05:49.610 --> 01:05:52.730
be the 14. Because I started going down there

01:05:52.730 --> 01:05:57.820
like 91. And it was already at the 14th, but

01:05:57.820 --> 01:06:04.719
it had just moved. So, yeah. It could have been

01:06:04.719 --> 01:06:09.980
the 14th. It's one of the two. Okay. This legendary

01:06:09.980 --> 01:06:13.900
neon yacht is finally up. They brought it up.

01:06:14.000 --> 01:06:18.440
But one longtime Cove regular summed it up simply.

01:06:18.679 --> 01:06:22.280
Different times, less rules, more Aquanet. I

01:06:22.280 --> 01:06:27.650
think he's right. And as far as that mullet wig,

01:06:27.889 --> 01:06:33.750
that's awesome. And it was taped to the captain's

01:06:33.750 --> 01:06:39.289
wheel. So they were in there doing blows off

01:06:39.289 --> 01:06:41.610
of hookers' asses and fucking smashing fucking

01:06:41.610 --> 01:06:45.449
bushes. Yeah, yep. That sounds like the late

01:06:45.449 --> 01:06:50.210
80s, doesn't it? Oh, definitely. Definitely.

01:06:51.510 --> 01:06:55.550
I knew a few of them. Oh, well, yeah, I may have

01:06:55.550 --> 01:06:59.289
partaked in a couple. I cannot confirm that,

01:06:59.429 --> 01:07:02.190
so, you know. I'm kind of like the Clintons on

01:07:02.190 --> 01:07:06.030
stand. I don't remember. I don't remember. I

01:07:06.030 --> 01:07:09.710
don't remember. Funny how you can write all these

01:07:09.710 --> 01:07:11.769
books and make all this money off of it and do

01:07:11.769 --> 01:07:14.349
all these speeches about your time in office

01:07:14.349 --> 01:07:16.730
and other things, but you can't remember what

01:07:16.730 --> 01:07:22.030
happened on an island. Hmm. How weird. Anyhow,

01:07:22.030 --> 01:07:34.480
Rob, let's go to you. Francis had been bringing

01:07:34.480 --> 01:07:39.159
something to my attention. We're into conspiracy

01:07:39.159 --> 01:07:43.059
theories. Okay. I love them myself. Most of them

01:07:43.059 --> 01:07:47.079
turn out to be true, by the way. Well, this started

01:07:47.079 --> 01:07:51.599
off with a rash of Bigfoot sightings. Oh, okay.

01:07:51.760 --> 01:07:56.679
And you can look this up. There were eight sightings

01:07:56.679 --> 01:08:01.000
right around March 10th. Okay. That were recorded

01:08:01.000 --> 01:08:06.840
online. I forget the guy that did it. But yeah,

01:08:06.940 --> 01:08:08.880
I mean, there was eight sightings around March

01:08:08.880 --> 01:08:15.500
10th. Well, and normally that means something.

01:08:15.880 --> 01:08:22.220
The theory is if Bigfoot starts showing itself,

01:08:22.500 --> 01:08:24.659
that means something big is about to happen.

01:08:26.140 --> 01:08:32.760
Okay. Okay. Well, to some people. Okay. You know

01:08:32.760 --> 01:08:35.539
what I mean? And I'm one of those believers.

01:08:36.819 --> 01:08:41.140
And this kind of confirms it. That was March

01:08:41.140 --> 01:08:45.439
10th, right? Today is March 19th, so Tuesday

01:08:45.439 --> 01:08:51.640
was March 17th. That was St. Patrick's Day. Okay.

01:08:51.680 --> 01:08:58.100
Well, NASA has confirmed that a loud boom across

01:08:58.100 --> 01:09:03.640
northeast Iowa, or Ohio, on Tuesday morning was

01:09:03.640 --> 01:09:07.439
a meteor. People around northeast Ohio flooded

01:09:07.439 --> 01:09:12.720
Nextar's WJW newsroom with reports of what sounded

01:09:12.720 --> 01:09:16.500
like a large explosion that lasted several seconds

01:09:16.500 --> 01:09:20.439
just before 9 a .m. and caused homes and businesses

01:09:20.439 --> 01:09:23.380
to shake. I remember that story. I read that

01:09:23.380 --> 01:09:25.899
story. Yeah, and they have some great video of

01:09:25.899 --> 01:09:34.279
it, actually. You think Bigfoot kind of predicted

01:09:34.279 --> 01:09:40.659
it because of the surge in his sightings? That's

01:09:40.659 --> 01:09:44.220
what people are starting to say. And I believe

01:09:44.220 --> 01:09:47.600
it. You know what? It would not surprise me one

01:09:47.600 --> 01:09:59.680
bit. Wow. Have you seen the video of that? No,

01:09:59.680 --> 01:10:02.579
I haven't. I've not seen the video of the media

01:10:02.579 --> 01:10:06.819
work, but I've seen videos of the Bigfoot. Oh,

01:10:06.819 --> 01:10:08.760
okay. How were they? A couple of the Bigfoots.

01:10:09.159 --> 01:10:11.439
Okay. Well, I've seen some of that, too. And

01:10:11.439 --> 01:10:14.140
some of it looks very believable, and some of

01:10:14.140 --> 01:10:17.520
it looks like someone did some trickery. So,

01:10:17.560 --> 01:10:19.960
I mean, I think... But, yeah, it was like eight

01:10:19.960 --> 01:10:23.939
of them within like 24, 48 hours. Sightings.

01:10:24.380 --> 01:10:30.289
And then this happens. So, yeah, I believe it.

01:10:33.510 --> 01:10:37.750
Okay, cool. All right, Rob, do you want to keep

01:10:37.750 --> 01:10:39.710
going? You're the one that's got to work early.

01:10:39.750 --> 01:10:41.930
Well, I got to work early, too. But, I mean,

01:10:42.069 --> 01:10:46.390
do you want to keep going or are you wanting

01:10:46.390 --> 01:10:50.470
to wrap it up? Actually, brother, if you don't

01:10:50.470 --> 01:10:53.869
mind, I would. I'm sitting here sweating my ass

01:10:53.869 --> 01:10:55.909
off. No, no, no. It's fine. I mean, we've got

01:10:55.909 --> 01:10:58.069
over an hour of content and by the time I put

01:10:58.069 --> 01:11:00.630
in all the other stuff, it'll be over an hour

01:11:00.630 --> 01:11:03.829
and ten minutes and I think that's probably about

01:11:03.829 --> 01:11:06.850
okay for a podcast because, like I said, most

01:11:06.850 --> 01:11:09.409
people don't listen but 40 minutes and then they

01:11:09.409 --> 01:11:12.789
go to another one because the average drive time

01:11:12.789 --> 01:11:19.350
is 35 to 40 minutes and then they've also concluded

01:11:19.350 --> 01:11:22.729
that most people, They start listening to a podcast.

01:11:23.430 --> 01:11:26.130
They don't finish it once they leave their car,

01:11:26.270 --> 01:11:28.609
you know, like they get to work. Then when they

01:11:28.609 --> 01:11:31.670
come back, they hit another episode rather than

01:11:31.670 --> 01:11:34.069
finishing up the one that they had. Right. So

01:11:34.069 --> 01:11:36.750
if you go too long, what they're saying is a

01:11:36.750 --> 01:11:40.069
lot of it people don't even listen to. So I think

01:11:40.069 --> 01:11:43.170
that's about right. So, all right, Rob. Thank

01:11:43.170 --> 01:11:45.989
you for joining me again, and we will talk to

01:11:45.989 --> 01:11:50.149
you. Always. We'll talk to everybody Sunday night.

01:11:50.960 --> 01:11:53.899
And that will be the douchebag gangbang, which

01:11:53.899 --> 01:11:57.439
we all love already. So, all right. Thank you,

01:11:57.439 --> 01:11:59.500
everybody, for listening. Yes, all you assholes

01:11:59.500 --> 01:12:04.479
get Topher back. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not us chopped

01:12:04.479 --> 01:12:07.079
liver. You guys get Topher. So I hope you guys

01:12:07.079 --> 01:12:11.060
are happy. Sheesh. Anyhow. All right. Hey, thanks,

01:12:11.159 --> 01:12:15.300
assholes. Have a good night. Good night, assholes.

01:12:16.649 --> 01:12:20.189
Oh, no. Looks like the show's over, kids. Mark

01:12:20.189 --> 01:12:23.250
has explosive diarrhea and can't afford a wireless

01:12:23.250 --> 01:12:26.890
mic. Fear not, assholes. They'll be back invading

01:12:26.890 --> 01:12:27.810
your ear holes soon.