WEBVTT

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Well, well, well. We see you made it back. That's

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right. It's time for your favorite podcast, Two

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Douchebags and a Microphone, live from the historic

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river market in downtown Kansas City, Missouri,

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but only on Tuesdays and sometimes Wednesdays.

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Otherwise, you get live from the Duck Wine Studio

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in Wheatland, Missouri, and the Talk is Cheap

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studio from Extreme Southern Tent for the Kansas

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City Metroplex and the surrounding areas. Let's

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grab a seat and see what kind of garbage they

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throw at us today. Enjoy. Welcome again. We're

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happy you chose us. Come on in. Wash yourself

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off. Would you enjoy a bourbon and coke? There's

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a liquor store down the road. If you go, I need

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rolling papers. Well, since you're here, let's

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get this daily douchebag pledge out of the way.

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All right, bitches, swing your hips and pelvic

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thrust. Shout it out with me. I, Joe or Jane

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Listener, promise to download every podcast.

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I, Joe or Jane Listener, promise to make all

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friends, family members and workmates download

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this show. I, Joe or Jane Listener, promise to

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grab idle computers, work computers, friends

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computers, community computers and other assorted

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phones and listening devices and download the

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show from there. I, Joe or Jane Listener, will

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download the show. and constantly barrage everyone

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with show name and platforms. I, Joe or Jane

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Listener, promise to wear a chicken costume and

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scream the show's name from my front yard. And

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finally, because of our 13 -year -old boy humor,

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we must go to Knobloch Cooter Licking in Uranus,

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Missouri to take selfies with the signs. If you

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go to Uranus, go to the fudge factory. Yes, there's

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a fudge factory in Uranus. No joke. Here at Two

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Douchebags and a Microphone, we don't stand behind

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our journalistic integrity. Go ahead and assume

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we got the story wrong. At least we admit it.

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Not like all those other guys, we can and will

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lie if it makes the story better. Two Douchebags

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and a Microphone. Good evening, friends and neighbors.

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I'm going to read to you a list of hypocrites,

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self -righteous assholes that want to tell you

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what you're doing wrong, but will not address

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this for themselves. One newer issue among these

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dullards is the stolen land gimmick. They tell

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us we need to give up the land back, but when

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they were confronted, they offered nothing. Therefore,

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hypocrites and liars. Alyssa Milano, hypocrite

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and a liar. Mark Ruffalo, hypocrite and a liar.

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Jane Fonda. Long -time hypocrite. Liar. Elizabeth

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Warren. Long -time idiot. Liar. Hypocrite. Leonardo

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DiCaprio. Your name might be on a list somewhere

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that just came out. I don't know. Possibly. Maybe

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you need to shut your mouth. Yeah, you probably

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do. Billie Eilish. Liar. Ben and Jerry. Liars.

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We go on for another hour, but you get the point.

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I once again present to you the You First Movement.

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This is when you mouth off about stolen land

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or anything else. You go first. You live on stolen

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land. You give your land back. But until this

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happens, shut the fuck up. Out. Hey there. We

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all have those annoying co -workers that do nothing.

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There's nothing we can do about it because HR

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departments are running scared of lawyers. So

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we have to work with these worthless pieces of

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garbage. But we have to communicate about them.

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without them knowing about it. Here at Two Douchebags

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Microphone, we developed a way that you can speak

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about them right in front of them without them

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knowing about it. Stay tuned. First code name,

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Absolute Zero. They contribute nothing and effectively

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stop all molecular motion in the project. Dark

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matter. You know they're there. They take up

00:04:09.979 --> 00:04:12.439
space, but they provide no light and cannot be

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observed doing actual work. Static. High noise.

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Zero signal. Stays in one place. Event horizon.

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Once a task enters their orbit, it is never seen

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again. How about buffer? They take 20 minutes

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to process a 5 second request. The screensaver.

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Looks like they're working, but as soon as you

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touch them, they disappear. Cloud mode. Just

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floating around, vague, and nobody knows what

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they actually do. And finally, 404. Task not

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found. Stay tuned for more of these gems. You

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watch the news. It looks grim. Is an apocalypse

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inevitable? We suggest you download all our podcasts

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beforehand and have multiple mobile chargers.

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We have the post apocalypse. Okay, so you have

00:05:09.860 --> 00:05:13.319
your bunker set. And what do you do inside this

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bunker to give you? The readiness if an apocalypse

00:05:16.600 --> 00:05:19.939
occurs. Here are some products you will probably

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use. Zip ties, duct tape, fishing line, a needle

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and thread, matches or a lighter, scissors, safety

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pins, super glue, bungee cords, parachute cord,

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sugar, salt, pepper, garlic, and chicken and

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beef bouillon cubes. Krusty's Instant Pancake

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Mix, Jiffy Muffin Mix, or Bisquick, or all the

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above. Powdered milk, cocoa, instant coffee,

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or other dry beverage mixes. Canned meats like

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tuna, chicken, salmon, and sardines. Canned and

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dry soup like Lipton and Knorr noodle packages.

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Nuts, peanut butter, jelly, or honey. Breakfast

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bars, cereals, packaged oatmeal, low salt crackers,

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Ritz crackers, ram crackers, or animal cookies.

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Canned and dry vegetable and fruit, and this

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should get you started. Great news, assholes.

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You can now email the douches anytime, anywhere.

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In the middle of the job interview. No big deal.

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Taking a bath? No problems there. Tap dancing.

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Easy as pie. Just send it to 2douchesatmail .com.

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Do it now, pussies, or I'll smash you in the

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junk. This is the two douchebags and a microphone.

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Alternative universe version. I am the Mark portion

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of this thing. What did I get? He said he gave

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you Americano. He's supposed to get Americano.

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That looks like it's full of milk. It does. Maybe

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yours is the Americano. I'm milking it, too.

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I don't know what I got. Okay, hang on. Okay.

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All right, now we got the great coffee caper

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figured out. Yes, yes. So... Somehow I got the

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signature drink of the Lavender Hill Mob, which

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is the Lavender Latte. And you know what? I should

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have just went ahead and bought one of those,

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too, because that did look pretty good. Yeah.

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I'm not sure what the lavender part was, but...

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Oh, I'm pretty sure they take the leaves. Ah.

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and smash them you know in the bottom kind of

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like they do a mojito oh yeah yeah they smash

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the mint leaves yeah they take lavender and just

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smash the hell out of it on the bottom for some

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reason this is picking me up way more than you

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so i'm going to push this your direction okay

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i think that's better now i don't know it sounds

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like it yeah the waveform looks a lot more a

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lot of people probably say that's better So,

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hey, there's all sorts of football stuff to talk

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about. Yes, there is. So, you want me to go into

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some of it? I've got a lot of it documented.

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Jump right in. I will jump in where I can. Okay,

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well, the biggest thing is, I mean, we could

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go into Kenneth Walker III, but we're going to

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go into Travis Kelsey first. Yes. 15 million.

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Proven winner. Yes. This is the best thing that

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could have happened. Yeah. 15 million, 17 million

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with incentives. He did not break the bank. He

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did not go to another team like all these idiots

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were projecting constantly. There's just wishful

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thinking is what it was. I think so, yeah. I'm

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getting the condom for the microphone. Yeah,

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we're going to need it. All right. I'm going

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to pause this for just a second. Do you want

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to move over to our spot while it's available?

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Yeah. Yeah, let's do it. Hit pause. All right.

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I think we're back now. Okay. All right. We need

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locations. Yes. So I was talking about Travis

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Kelsey being signed. Yes. $15 million. Single

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year. Yeah, $17 million with incentives. I hope

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he hits those because it's probably like 1 ,000

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yards or more. Yeah, I would hope so. That would

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be great to have him like. have one of the best

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seasons of his career in his final year. I'm

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predicting he's going to. It could happen because

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all you have to do is take some of the heat off

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of him with other valuable receivers, and he'll

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be open more. Last year, yes, more receivers

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and better receivers that can get open. I was

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trying to figure out which. I think this is the

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one I opened. Okay, this is the one I opened.

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Yeah. All right. Yeah, this is open. So that

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is fantastic. And to me, that was the cornerstone.

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They did all these trades. And signings, but

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the cornerstone, they got done. Yeah. And that

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is Kelsey. You got Travis Kelsey there. Yeah.

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And I mean, and I do think he's going to be productive.

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If Mahomes would have stayed in and didn't get

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injured, he would have had probably over 1 ,000

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yards this season. He was on his way, yeah. Yeah.

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And with a little bit of luck and us winning

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a couple more games and playing a little bit

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better, he probably would have had well over

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that. Yeah. But, well, you're the only guy getting

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open. Yeah. They changed that. This also gives

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the Chiefs another year to find someone else.

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Because he's going next year. Because you didn't

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know what Gray signed with somebody else? I think

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he's already gone, yeah. Not like I thought he

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was a replacement though. Yeah. I bet you you're

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going to see him. A tight end drafted. That would

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make sense to draft one and also pick somebody

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up in free agency. This is the time of year where

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you start adding depth. So you have a lot of

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people to take reps in training camp and preseason

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games. Yes. So that was one piece. The next piece

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was phenomenal. The Super Bowl MVP, Kenneth Walker

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III. That's amazing. Signed for three years,

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$45 million with 28 .7 guaranteed. Yeah, I mean,

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that's a pretty good signing for anybody. But

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I think that the Chiefs, they're making a run

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for it. They're going to do it. And some of the

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defensive help that they've lost, they already

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signed a safety. And that would be Aloha Gilman.

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From the Chargers. Yeah, from the Chargers as

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a safety. And that's a solid pick right there.

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You know we're going to draft a couple. Yeah,

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that was a big noisy truck. Yeah, it was. All

00:12:06.629 --> 00:12:09.950
right, are we on? Yeah. Oh, okay, sorry. So,

00:12:10.110 --> 00:12:13.570
you know, they're going to be beefing up everything

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else that they let go. So I'm not really that

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worried about it. We were worried about it last

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season. The defense was the least of our problems

00:12:20.830 --> 00:12:26.720
last season. Yeah, it was ironic. It was a good

00:12:26.720 --> 00:12:30.120
move to let McDuffie go because the Rams have

00:12:30.120 --> 00:12:32.179
made him the highest paid corner in NFL history.

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We couldn't afford him. No. That's all there

00:12:34.059 --> 00:12:36.799
is to it. And Casey has a history of not paying

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the cornerbacks the big money. Look at all the

00:12:39.899 --> 00:12:43.720
people they let go. I mean, look at LeJarrius

00:12:43.720 --> 00:12:47.059
Sneed. Yep. He's been injured ever since. Yep.

00:12:48.019 --> 00:12:49.779
I think he might have had some legal problems

00:12:49.779 --> 00:12:52.200
too, didn't he? Yeah. Yeah. We let your various

00:12:52.200 --> 00:12:56.019
words go, and he's been. you know, mentioned

00:12:56.019 --> 00:12:59.379
here and there, but not gangbusters. He's been

00:12:59.379 --> 00:13:03.700
pedestrian. Yeah. So, all right. Kenneth Walker

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III. Phenomenal signing because this stabilizes,

00:13:07.899 --> 00:13:11.639
this makes the offensive line quite a bit better.

00:13:11.820 --> 00:13:14.299
Yeah. Whenever you have something that has to

00:13:14.299 --> 00:13:17.179
keep you honest like that, you can't focus all

00:13:17.179 --> 00:13:19.899
your attention to getting Mahomes because there's

00:13:19.899 --> 00:13:24.710
this other guy that could just kill you. I mean,

00:13:24.730 --> 00:13:28.610
ask the Patriots. As a person watching the Chiefs

00:13:28.610 --> 00:13:30.549
games at home, I wasn't worried about the running

00:13:30.549 --> 00:13:32.669
game. It's like, nah, the Chiefs ain't going

00:13:32.669 --> 00:13:34.169
to do nothing on the running game. It's like,

00:13:34.169 --> 00:13:36.629
just keep rushing the quarterback. We'll have

00:13:36.629 --> 00:13:38.350
someone else. We'll have a safety or something

00:13:38.350 --> 00:13:40.029
tackle him. Don't worry about it. It's fine.

00:13:40.230 --> 00:13:42.490
Yeah, and even when the Chiefs would try a draw,

00:13:42.710 --> 00:13:46.350
they would give it away so quickly that it never

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worked. I know. Well, you know what? In all fairness,

00:13:52.129 --> 00:13:55.370
if they're running all correctly, It doesn't

00:13:55.370 --> 00:13:58.009
matter. They don't need a draw. Yeah. So they

00:13:58.009 --> 00:13:59.809
don't know it very well because they never had

00:13:59.809 --> 00:14:05.190
to really option it before. Yeah. So we let...

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Of course, we went into the McDuffie trade, I

00:14:08.009 --> 00:14:09.990
think. Didn't we last week or did we not? No,

00:14:10.029 --> 00:14:12.990
I don't think we did. No, we didn't. Okay. Well,

00:14:13.210 --> 00:14:16.490
Trent McDuffie let go and I have the statistics.

00:14:16.549 --> 00:14:18.990
You know what? First, I'll go into this. Jalen

00:14:18.990 --> 00:14:22.049
Watson, he signed with Rams yesterday. Oh, yeah.

00:14:22.629 --> 00:14:26.649
So, you know... The Chiefs are supposedly interested

00:14:26.649 --> 00:14:30.769
in Trent Williams, which would be great, offensive

00:14:30.769 --> 00:14:34.590
lineman. They're supposedly keeping tabs on him,

00:14:34.610 --> 00:14:36.750
and I think they're seeing how much he's going

00:14:36.750 --> 00:14:40.429
to cost. Yeah. You know, Poley's going to get

00:14:40.429 --> 00:14:46.009
a chance. Of course, Simmons will be back. See

00:14:46.009 --> 00:14:48.389
who they pick up this year. See if they pick

00:14:48.389 --> 00:14:52.149
up another higher rail. Maybe not their first

00:14:52.149 --> 00:14:56.980
one, maybe not number nine. So I guess they decided

00:14:56.980 --> 00:15:01.860
Jeremiah Love wasn't going to be the answer.

00:15:02.480 --> 00:15:05.919
Yeah, it was going to be too high of a draft

00:15:05.919 --> 00:15:10.460
pick for a running back that is unproven. So

00:15:10.460 --> 00:15:12.799
some other team is going to draft him high, and

00:15:12.799 --> 00:15:14.840
they're going to regret it. So let that team

00:15:14.840 --> 00:15:16.879
have the regrets. Kenneth Walker is a better

00:15:16.879 --> 00:15:20.620
choice by far. He's fairly young still, too.

00:15:20.899 --> 00:15:22.820
He is. He's still got a lot of years left in

00:15:22.820 --> 00:15:25.590
him. And I think he's going to work really well

00:15:25.590 --> 00:15:27.870
in our system, especially with the enemy. Yeah,

00:15:27.909 --> 00:15:30.929
I'd say so. We need the enemy to implement some

00:15:30.929 --> 00:15:39.809
of that Chicago defense game. With the defensive

00:15:39.809 --> 00:15:43.389
losses, none of them have really seemed to bother

00:15:43.389 --> 00:15:46.809
me. Offense, not defense. Chicago offense. I

00:15:46.809 --> 00:15:49.919
knew it. Okay, thank you. You know, I heard about

00:15:49.919 --> 00:15:52.440
McDougie and Duffy, but it really didn't seem

00:15:52.440 --> 00:15:55.720
to bother me because I just figured that they've

00:15:55.720 --> 00:16:00.379
got something going. Yeah, they do. I'm not worried

00:16:00.379 --> 00:16:03.379
about tight end next season after Kelsey leaves

00:16:03.379 --> 00:16:05.779
because if they don't have anyone of Kelsey's

00:16:05.779 --> 00:16:07.740
caliber, then they'll just throw the wide receivers

00:16:07.740 --> 00:16:10.440
more. Yeah. Or the running back more or something.

00:16:10.779 --> 00:16:13.220
The reason they throw to the tight end so much

00:16:13.220 --> 00:16:15.759
in KC is because Travis Kelsey is here. He's

00:16:15.759 --> 00:16:17.639
open. So when he leaves. We're not going to be

00:16:17.639 --> 00:16:19.960
doing that so much. They'll change offense around

00:16:19.960 --> 00:16:22.779
to accommodate. Unless they found the next guy

00:16:22.779 --> 00:16:26.379
that, you know, he may not be Travis Kelsey or

00:16:26.379 --> 00:16:29.320
even that close. Yeah. But whoever they get is

00:16:29.320 --> 00:16:31.320
probably going to be serviceable and get open,

00:16:31.340 --> 00:16:34.179
just not like Travis Kelsey. I mean, we've been

00:16:34.179 --> 00:16:37.059
very fortunate about tight ends in Kansas City.

00:16:37.299 --> 00:16:41.080
From Tony Gonzalez to basically Travis Kelsey

00:16:41.080 --> 00:16:43.419
just a few years later. Yeah, yeah. Two Hall

00:16:43.419 --> 00:16:45.379
of Famers without a doubt, first ballot. Well,

00:16:45.440 --> 00:16:50.269
I mean. Gonzalez already is. Yeah. And Kelsey's

00:16:50.269 --> 00:16:52.490
first time. They ain't waiting on him. Yeah,

00:16:52.529 --> 00:16:55.610
yeah. He's lived his life well enough that there's

00:16:55.610 --> 00:16:59.169
no – they don't have to Bill Belichick him. No,

00:16:59.169 --> 00:17:04.890
no, that's true. And also, KDG, he retired with

00:17:04.890 --> 00:17:07.609
the most yards of any tight end. I think so,

00:17:07.710 --> 00:17:10.769
yeah. He even learned how to block later on.

00:17:10.910 --> 00:17:14.059
Yeah. But, you know, it would be interesting

00:17:14.059 --> 00:17:18.000
to see a Chiefs team where our top three receivers

00:17:18.000 --> 00:17:21.660
are all wide receivers. And the tight end is

00:17:21.660 --> 00:17:24.200
down there in like the 500 or 600 yards for a

00:17:24.200 --> 00:17:26.200
season. It's like no big deal because you've

00:17:26.200 --> 00:17:28.740
got 3 ,000 -yard wide receivers. I think next

00:17:28.740 --> 00:17:30.720
year you might see that if they don't pick up

00:17:30.720 --> 00:17:32.619
on a really good wide receiver. But I also think

00:17:32.619 --> 00:17:35.079
it's time to switch it up anyhow. I think this

00:17:35.079 --> 00:17:37.720
year everyone thinks they're going to see Mahomes

00:17:37.720 --> 00:17:40.339
magic constantly. No. They're going to be run,

00:17:40.539 --> 00:17:43.440
run, run, run. I certainly hope so. And then

00:17:43.440 --> 00:17:45.859
Mahomes has got to just throw when he needs to,

00:17:45.880 --> 00:17:48.200
when it's open. Yep. You're not going to see

00:17:48.200 --> 00:17:50.019
him scrambling around everywhere getting hurt

00:17:50.019 --> 00:17:53.420
like he did last year. If anything goes wrong.

00:17:53.559 --> 00:17:56.339
I would like to see Patrick and Kenneth Walker

00:17:56.339 --> 00:18:00.680
get together early and often and build a trust.

00:18:00.880 --> 00:18:03.500
I would bet anything. They've already been on

00:18:03.500 --> 00:18:06.119
the phone to each other several times. I mean,

00:18:06.119 --> 00:18:08.579
it'd be great if they liked each other and hung

00:18:08.579 --> 00:18:10.880
out with each other's families, but at the very

00:18:10.880 --> 00:18:13.519
least, get that trust, on -the -field trust,

00:18:13.539 --> 00:18:16.220
and get it early to where Mahomes trusts Walker

00:18:16.220 --> 00:18:18.960
to do his part and Walker trusts Mahomes to do

00:18:18.960 --> 00:18:21.079
his part. And I think that's going to come quick

00:18:21.079 --> 00:18:24.299
because Walker acted like it was a no -brainer.

00:18:24.420 --> 00:18:27.400
Yeah. You know, he just left the Super Bowl champion,

00:18:27.539 --> 00:18:31.299
the reigning champion team, and went to a team

00:18:31.299 --> 00:18:33.920
that's been a dynasty, and he had no qualms.

00:18:34.140 --> 00:18:36.599
He was like, no, this is where I want to be.

00:18:37.059 --> 00:18:41.029
This is a winning organization. that I've always

00:18:41.029 --> 00:18:43.690
wanted to play with Patrick Mahomes. Nice. So

00:18:43.690 --> 00:18:46.849
this is a guy that we needed. And I think that's

00:18:46.849 --> 00:18:49.250
why they paid so much for him. And it is encouraging

00:18:49.250 --> 00:18:51.869
that even though the Chiefs have had some down

00:18:51.869 --> 00:18:55.710
times, we're still seen as the preferred destination

00:18:55.710 --> 00:18:57.990
for a lot of players. As long as we got number

00:18:57.990 --> 00:19:00.809
15, yeah. Yeah, we can get the good free agents

00:19:00.809 --> 00:19:03.930
come here. Oh, and Andy Reid. Yeah. People like

00:19:03.930 --> 00:19:06.450
playing for Reid. Yeah, it's like in the 80s

00:19:06.450 --> 00:19:08.430
when all the veteran players... When they were

00:19:08.430 --> 00:19:10.190
like a year or two away from retirement, they

00:19:10.190 --> 00:19:12.829
just flocked to San Francisco. Because, you know,

00:19:12.829 --> 00:19:15.890
I want to play with Steve Young. I want to play

00:19:15.890 --> 00:19:18.750
for George Seifert or Steve Walsh or whatever

00:19:18.750 --> 00:19:23.529
it was. Yeah. Joe Walsh. Steve Walsh. Joe Walsh,

00:19:23.589 --> 00:19:26.789
yeah. Bill Walsh. Bill Walsh, yeah. Bill Walsh

00:19:26.789 --> 00:19:30.950
and George Seifert. Yeah. George Seifert did

00:19:30.950 --> 00:19:32.950
a good job. He won a Super Bowl and he was in

00:19:32.950 --> 00:19:36.490
the playoffs multiple times. But Bill Walsh was

00:19:36.490 --> 00:19:38.980
the guy. But they all wanted to go there and

00:19:38.980 --> 00:19:42.359
play. Yeah, and then it was also Dallas for a

00:19:42.359 --> 00:19:47.980
while with Troy Aikman and the guy with the great

00:19:47.980 --> 00:19:52.079
hair on the sidelines, the coach. Oh, Jimmy Johnson.

00:19:52.160 --> 00:19:55.339
Yeah. So, I mean, that was like the magic destination.

00:19:55.380 --> 00:19:57.539
It's nice to see the Chiefs being that magic

00:19:57.539 --> 00:20:00.359
destination for a bit. Oh, it is. It is. Yeah.

00:20:01.099 --> 00:20:06.720
Excuse me. So, I'm pretty happy with that. So,

00:20:06.799 --> 00:20:11.640
I've got something here. Oh, okay. We also signed

00:20:11.640 --> 00:20:16.660
a tackle, Kairis Tonga. Oh, yeah. Or is it Kairis?

00:20:16.660 --> 00:20:22.019
I think it's Kairis. Kairis Tonga did the Chiefs

00:20:22.019 --> 00:20:25.160
for $21 million over three years. He was a safety

00:20:25.160 --> 00:20:29.819
for the Chargers. Oh, yeah. And he's solid. So,

00:20:29.900 --> 00:20:32.299
I see they at least have a solid backup, if not

00:20:32.299 --> 00:20:37.059
the guy, you know. in situations. Now, I've got

00:20:37.059 --> 00:20:39.680
a question for you. Gardner Minshew is gone.

00:20:39.779 --> 00:20:44.579
He signed with the Cardinals. Okay? People are

00:20:44.579 --> 00:20:46.619
freaking out over this quarterback situation.

00:20:47.519 --> 00:20:53.099
Well, San Francisco just declined, or no, it

00:20:53.099 --> 00:20:57.640
wasn't San Francisco. Who was it? Opted to not

00:20:57.640 --> 00:21:01.880
sign Garoppolo. Garoppolo would fit well in our

00:21:01.880 --> 00:21:05.539
system. He is a He is a second stringer now.

00:21:05.579 --> 00:21:08.680
He's not a starter. He's a backup. And he might

00:21:08.680 --> 00:21:11.599
want to win a Super Bowl, another one. I mean,

00:21:11.640 --> 00:21:14.339
he did with the Patriots a couple of times, I

00:21:14.339 --> 00:21:16.099
think. And I think he'd be cheaper than Kirk

00:21:16.099 --> 00:21:18.599
Cousins. Exactly. That's what I'm getting at

00:21:18.599 --> 00:21:20.440
right there. I think he's a better option than

00:21:20.440 --> 00:21:24.480
Cousins as your insurance. And Andy Reid loves

00:21:24.480 --> 00:21:26.819
to have a veteran backing up his starter. Yeah.

00:21:26.859 --> 00:21:29.420
And also, he's pretty familiar with the Chiefs,

00:21:29.420 --> 00:21:32.599
unfortunately for him. Mm -hmm. So I think it

00:21:32.599 --> 00:21:34.400
would fit in the system really well because he

00:21:34.400 --> 00:21:38.279
is more of a middle passer pocket guy. I think

00:21:38.279 --> 00:21:41.180
that there's a lot of room for that, especially

00:21:41.180 --> 00:21:47.059
with a running game. Yeah, that's true. You get

00:21:47.059 --> 00:21:49.799
a situation where you can lean on your running

00:21:49.799 --> 00:21:54.190
game. a game manager type quarterback in there

00:21:54.190 --> 00:21:58.529
for like a quarter. So if Mahomes needs a rest

00:21:58.529 --> 00:22:00.470
or he's got a tweaked knee or something, it's

00:22:00.470 --> 00:22:01.950
like, yeah, let's hold him out for the third

00:22:01.950 --> 00:22:04.589
quarter. Yeah. It would work. It would work just

00:22:04.589 --> 00:22:08.809
fine. Oh, yeah, I agree. So a little bit of other

00:22:08.809 --> 00:22:13.670
news here. Okay, first off, the Chiefs, the McDuffie

00:22:13.670 --> 00:22:15.170
trade, I said I was going to go into that real

00:22:15.170 --> 00:22:20.740
quick. We traded McDuffie to the Rams for the

00:22:20.740 --> 00:22:23.680
number 28 pick overall. Number one pick, 28.

00:22:23.960 --> 00:22:27.339
Yeah. And a fifth and sixth this year, and a

00:22:27.339 --> 00:22:30.740
third next year. That was a really good deal.

00:22:31.180 --> 00:22:34.039
Yeah. That was a really good deal. Yes. Considering

00:22:34.039 --> 00:22:35.880
that we were going to have to release McDuffie

00:22:35.880 --> 00:22:37.900
because he was going to be too expensive. I was

00:22:37.900 --> 00:22:40.619
surprised that it went so well, but I think they

00:22:40.619 --> 00:22:42.599
wanted to make sure they got him. Yeah, because

00:22:42.599 --> 00:22:44.160
he'd have to go through waivers, and there's

00:22:44.160 --> 00:22:45.539
a lot of other teams that could have claimed

00:22:45.539 --> 00:22:48.089
him. And some of those teams have a lot of cap

00:22:48.089 --> 00:22:50.730
money, as opposed to the Bills, who are like

00:22:50.730 --> 00:22:53.490
$12 million over. They're hurting bad. I don't

00:22:53.490 --> 00:22:55.710
know about the Bills. Their run may be close

00:22:55.710 --> 00:22:58.150
to over. We'll see. Yeah, yeah. Well, I remember

00:22:58.150 --> 00:22:59.609
we kind of predicted they were going to have

00:22:59.609 --> 00:23:02.069
an off year this coming year. New coach, new

00:23:02.069 --> 00:23:05.569
everything, new stadium. It's just too much all

00:23:05.569 --> 00:23:07.410
at once. Well, Seth, what a joke they've become.

00:23:07.750 --> 00:23:11.269
Yeah. I mean, really. They couldn't even get

00:23:11.269 --> 00:23:15.329
a head coach to apply at the end there. So they

00:23:15.329 --> 00:23:17.009
had to go with an offensive coordinator who's

00:23:17.009 --> 00:23:18.549
got to feel like shit because he was not their

00:23:18.549 --> 00:23:20.809
choice at all. Yeah. They didn't even look at

00:23:20.809 --> 00:23:25.289
him and tell him. Yeah. I imagine word got around

00:23:25.289 --> 00:23:27.730
pretty quick. Don't bother calling. I don't want

00:23:27.730 --> 00:23:34.190
the job. Yeah. Yep. I mean, if Mike McDaniels

00:23:34.190 --> 00:23:39.289
opts out, then you've got a problem. Yeah. Mike

00:23:39.289 --> 00:23:41.069
McDaniels is scheduled to have an interview and

00:23:41.069 --> 00:23:44.049
probably get the job. Yeah. Yeah, stay in the

00:23:44.049 --> 00:23:46.269
division and be a head coach. He'd rather go

00:23:46.269 --> 00:23:50.869
across the country to a different – Thank you.

00:23:51.650 --> 00:23:53.990
It was pretty telling with Buffalo. They just

00:23:53.990 --> 00:23:56.750
did it so poorly. They just did it in the worst

00:23:56.750 --> 00:23:59.450
possible way. They could have gotten away with

00:23:59.450 --> 00:24:02.130
firing Sean McDermott if they'd done it in a

00:24:02.130 --> 00:24:05.170
different way. But, man, they just – They bungled

00:24:05.170 --> 00:24:09.390
that so bad. Yeah, yeah. Okay, before I go into

00:24:09.390 --> 00:24:12.450
any of this, how about we go into the Ravens.

00:24:13.230 --> 00:24:17.329
Yeah. And they got the angry ginger, Max Rosby.

00:24:17.450 --> 00:24:21.309
Yes. So, okay, that doesn't affect us that much

00:24:21.309 --> 00:24:23.930
until maybe playoffs come. Yeah. Playoffs. Playoffs.

00:24:24.289 --> 00:24:27.589
But, okay. But he won't be hammering our players

00:24:27.589 --> 00:24:30.990
twice each season. He said he's going to be hammering

00:24:30.990 --> 00:24:33.069
Joe Burrow twice this season. He's going to be

00:24:33.069 --> 00:24:35.190
hammering Joe Burrow just like Miles Garrett.

00:24:35.450 --> 00:24:39.650
Yeah. Just like TJ Watt. Yeah. Imagine those

00:24:39.650 --> 00:24:42.329
three hammering you two times a year each one

00:24:42.329 --> 00:24:44.460
of them. So that's six games you're going to

00:24:44.460 --> 00:24:46.380
get fucking flattened. And the guy is already

00:24:46.380 --> 00:24:50.119
injury prone. Supposedly he's just running pretty

00:24:50.119 --> 00:24:54.640
bad. Yeah, T .J. White. Yeah. I don't blame them.

00:24:54.720 --> 00:24:57.200
They don't spend money over there. They don't

00:24:57.200 --> 00:25:01.140
spend money. Look at what the Chiefs did. They

00:25:01.140 --> 00:25:03.559
made some changes. They made some moves. They

00:25:03.559 --> 00:25:06.859
did some unexpected things. You really get a

00:25:06.859 --> 00:25:10.160
sense that they're trying and trying hard. And

00:25:10.160 --> 00:25:12.799
they're trying new things. The problem with the

00:25:12.799 --> 00:25:15.000
way I sit with the Bengals, the problem with

00:25:15.000 --> 00:25:17.400
them is they can't deviate from their original

00:25:17.400 --> 00:25:21.480
plan very well, or the Chiefs did. The Chiefs

00:25:21.480 --> 00:25:24.759
were like, the plan it was, it isn't now. We're

00:25:24.759 --> 00:25:26.960
scrapping everything, and we're going to keep

00:25:26.960 --> 00:25:30.019
certain core players, but that's it. Anything

00:25:30.019 --> 00:25:32.579
else, everything else, all bets are off. The

00:25:32.579 --> 00:25:35.660
Bengals refused to do that. And that is an actual

00:25:35.660 --> 00:25:42.829
recognized... quirk of some people's minds is

00:25:42.829 --> 00:25:45.549
once they've decided on something they just really

00:25:45.549 --> 00:25:48.349
are incapable of ever changing their mind yes

00:25:48.349 --> 00:25:51.329
and it's not that they're being stubborn or being

00:25:51.329 --> 00:25:54.349
a jerk it's just they can't yeah you see the

00:25:54.349 --> 00:25:56.210
guy shouldn't be a general manager if he's like

00:25:56.210 --> 00:25:58.829
that yeah but you know the best ones are versatile

00:25:58.829 --> 00:26:01.910
the best ones see 10 avenues of winning not one

00:26:03.569 --> 00:26:06.730
Exactly. Gosh, this debate has been going on

00:26:06.730 --> 00:26:08.690
for a long time. Back in the 70s, I remember

00:26:08.690 --> 00:26:11.470
them talking about, do you draft players who

00:26:11.470 --> 00:26:14.869
fit your system? Or do you draft the best player?

00:26:15.069 --> 00:26:17.289
Or draft the best player and change your system

00:26:17.289 --> 00:26:19.369
to take advantage of what your players can do?

00:26:19.670 --> 00:26:23.210
I still say every situation is different, and

00:26:23.210 --> 00:26:25.809
there's no right or wrong. Yeah. The wrong comes

00:26:25.809 --> 00:26:28.190
when you draft a player and you try to force

00:26:28.190 --> 00:26:29.789
him into your system and he doesn't fit. And

00:26:29.789 --> 00:26:31.730
he doesn't fit. That's been well documented.

00:26:31.910 --> 00:26:33.950
Then they'll go somewhere. Sam Darnold. Yeah.

00:26:34.250 --> 00:26:37.230
Sam Darnold's a great example. The Jets, he was

00:26:37.230 --> 00:26:40.650
a boo. Couldn't do anything. Yeah. Put him in

00:26:40.650 --> 00:26:43.769
Seattle where he's controlled. Everything is

00:26:43.769 --> 00:26:46.410
scripted pretty much. Yeah. I mean, they pretty

00:26:46.410 --> 00:26:48.730
much script games over there is what it is. And

00:26:48.730 --> 00:26:50.680
I don't mean that like they're faking it. I don't

00:26:50.680 --> 00:26:52.420
mean like they're throwing them. What I mean

00:26:52.420 --> 00:26:54.019
is they're like, we're going to do this, and

00:26:54.019 --> 00:26:55.359
then they're going to come back with this, then

00:26:55.359 --> 00:26:57.880
we're going to do that. Yeah, it's like a chess

00:26:57.880 --> 00:27:00.400
match where you plan and plot out your moves

00:27:00.400 --> 00:27:03.819
and your counterattacks. Yeah, and everyone else

00:27:03.819 --> 00:27:07.099
is playing checkers this year. Yeah. So that

00:27:07.099 --> 00:27:11.259
was good. So that's going to be interesting to

00:27:11.259 --> 00:27:12.779
watch because Joe Burrow is probably going to

00:27:12.779 --> 00:27:16.039
be in traction. Again. Yeah, which is a shame.

00:27:16.140 --> 00:27:19.599
Yeah. It'd be fun to wind back the clock and

00:27:19.599 --> 00:27:24.500
put Joe Burrow on a different Bengals team that

00:27:24.500 --> 00:27:26.980
actually would spend money on the offensive line.

00:27:27.279 --> 00:27:29.599
I would love to see Burrow with either Reed or

00:27:29.599 --> 00:27:33.279
Belichick. Yeah, Belichick would do it. Yeah.

00:27:33.400 --> 00:27:36.500
Definitely. Because Belichick's smart enough

00:27:36.500 --> 00:27:38.720
to keep the pressure off of him and come up with

00:27:38.720 --> 00:27:41.910
something that's going to keep him. and not getting

00:27:41.910 --> 00:27:47.089
murdered. Yeah. So I just don't think that Taylor,

00:27:47.250 --> 00:27:51.890
Zach Taylor, is capable of doing that. I'm sure

00:27:51.890 --> 00:27:53.829
he gets a lot of pushback from management, from

00:27:53.829 --> 00:27:56.150
ownership, saying don't spend the money, don't

00:27:56.150 --> 00:27:58.609
do this. We've already spent money here, so use

00:27:58.609 --> 00:28:00.930
this, that kind of thing. You know, he could

00:28:00.930 --> 00:28:03.289
be an overachiever. And then, you know, they

00:28:03.289 --> 00:28:05.269
got a good team but not a team to do as well

00:28:05.269 --> 00:28:07.670
as they did in the past. Yeah. But he coached

00:28:07.670 --> 00:28:10.500
them up. to where they did. I don't know. I mean,

00:28:10.500 --> 00:28:12.400
they did make the Super Bowl, although they lost

00:28:12.400 --> 00:28:14.920
badly, but they did make the Super Bowl. Yeah.

00:28:16.039 --> 00:28:18.339
Okay, so the Lions traded running back David

00:28:18.339 --> 00:28:21.579
Montgomery to the Texans for offensive lineman

00:28:21.579 --> 00:28:24.660
Juice Krugs and a fourth and seventh round pick.

00:28:25.799 --> 00:28:28.200
I think they got the Texans good on this one.

00:28:28.400 --> 00:28:31.980
Yeah. David Montgomery is good, but I don't think

00:28:31.980 --> 00:28:34.440
he's that good to give up that much. Yeah, a

00:28:34.440 --> 00:28:37.089
lineman and two picks. I mean, the seventh rounder

00:28:37.089 --> 00:28:38.789
you can let go, but the fourth round, that's

00:28:38.789 --> 00:28:41.769
still a pretty valuable pick. It really is. You

00:28:41.769 --> 00:28:43.650
can get a good running back in the fourth round.

00:28:43.809 --> 00:28:45.450
Yeah. And you don't have to give up anything

00:28:45.450 --> 00:28:48.849
else. Exactly. It just doesn't seem, unless they

00:28:48.849 --> 00:28:50.869
were just overloaded at running back and they

00:28:50.869 --> 00:28:52.990
had to cut somebody or trade somebody because

00:28:52.990 --> 00:28:55.509
it was going to screw them salary -wise, that

00:28:55.509 --> 00:28:56.950
would be the only reason I could see the Lions

00:28:56.950 --> 00:28:59.769
doing that. Same here. Yeah. I agree. And the

00:28:59.769 --> 00:29:04.619
Texans, yeah, they paid too much. Mm -hmm. So

00:29:04.619 --> 00:29:07.880
this goes to Nick Chubb being a free agent. I

00:29:07.880 --> 00:29:09.880
was going to ask this, but now it's like them.

00:29:10.240 --> 00:29:12.880
He would be an experiment because the last three

00:29:12.880 --> 00:29:15.420
seasons he accumulated in three seasons just

00:29:15.420 --> 00:29:18.339
over 1 ,000 yards, which is pathetic. It's about

00:29:18.339 --> 00:29:21.700
300 yards a season broke down, 350 yards a season,

00:29:21.859 --> 00:29:25.839
330 yards, 335 yards, something like that a season,

00:29:25.940 --> 00:29:29.500
which is not good at all. Yeah. And 340 yards

00:29:29.500 --> 00:29:32.059
receiving in the last three seasons, which is

00:29:32.059 --> 00:29:35.750
about the same. Yeah. So, I think now that you

00:29:35.750 --> 00:29:39.609
have your guy, Walker III, scratch that out.

00:29:39.690 --> 00:29:43.289
I was just going to pose that. I was not in favor

00:29:43.289 --> 00:29:46.509
of that. That was just like a, what if? What

00:29:46.509 --> 00:29:48.950
do you think? Yeah. So, I think that's just pretty

00:29:48.950 --> 00:29:53.009
much non -existent now. Forget it. Kyler Murray

00:29:53.009 --> 00:29:58.509
was released. Yeah. With Andy Reid and their

00:29:58.509 --> 00:30:00.970
guys there, do you think he'd be a suitable backup?

00:30:03.279 --> 00:30:06.099
He has shown flashes of playing really well.

00:30:06.400 --> 00:30:09.279
I think he could be a backup. I don't know that

00:30:09.279 --> 00:30:12.559
he would accept being a backup. I kind of get

00:30:12.559 --> 00:30:14.500
the impression Kyler wants to go start somewhere

00:30:14.500 --> 00:30:17.039
or at least reasonably compete for a starting

00:30:17.039 --> 00:30:19.299
job. I don't think he would look at KC. No, he

00:30:19.299 --> 00:30:22.680
would not be reasonably competing for that. All

00:30:22.680 --> 00:30:26.839
right. Yeah, I think he could fit if he was in

00:30:26.839 --> 00:30:29.339
the mindset to be a backup. Yeah, you know what?

00:30:29.359 --> 00:30:31.359
Yeah, if he was in that mindset. But I'm with

00:30:31.359 --> 00:30:33.990
you. I think that he's... thinks that he can

00:30:33.990 --> 00:30:36.069
still do it in the right system, and maybe he

00:30:36.069 --> 00:30:37.990
can. I don't know. He's got a lot of the tools.

00:30:39.430 --> 00:30:43.049
To me, Arizona's been so sporadic that it wasn't

00:30:43.049 --> 00:30:46.170
a good place for anybody to be. I think even

00:30:46.170 --> 00:30:47.890
Mahomes would have had horrible years there.

00:30:48.250 --> 00:30:51.089
Yeah, Arizona's kind of like Cincinnati in that

00:30:51.089 --> 00:30:52.710
they don't want to spend money and they just

00:30:52.710 --> 00:30:54.670
want to go along. It's like they figured out

00:30:54.670 --> 00:30:56.869
a formula where they get a decent profit every

00:30:56.869 --> 00:30:58.930
year, and it's like, let's not fuck with this.

00:30:58.950 --> 00:31:01.849
Let's just do this. It doesn't win you championships.

00:31:03.130 --> 00:31:04.809
But, you know, as long as people are showing

00:31:04.809 --> 00:31:06.930
up and buying tickets, I guess you don't have

00:31:06.930 --> 00:31:10.490
to change. No, you don't. Yeah. Okay, I've got

00:31:10.490 --> 00:31:12.490
one more thing, and then we can go into your

00:31:12.490 --> 00:31:14.730
stuff. We can go ahead and just, if you want

00:31:14.730 --> 00:31:16.769
to go football still, that's fine. If you don't,

00:31:16.769 --> 00:31:19.230
that's fine. But I was pondering this the other

00:31:19.230 --> 00:31:21.410
morning. Read an article about the Chiefs maybe

00:31:21.410 --> 00:31:24.089
wanting to sign Kirk Cousins, right? Yeah. For

00:31:24.089 --> 00:31:27.109
a backup while Mahomes heals. Yeah. Okay, the

00:31:27.109 --> 00:31:30.049
difference from Andy Reid regime and Marty, Gunther,

00:31:30.109 --> 00:31:34.289
Romeo, and all the rest. Reed is going to get

00:31:34.289 --> 00:31:36.730
Cousins as a backup. Everyone else would have

00:31:36.730 --> 00:31:40.390
got him as the answer. Yeah, yeah. That speaks

00:31:40.390 --> 00:31:43.769
volumes about where the Chiefs are now. I remember

00:31:43.769 --> 00:31:48.970
all the coaches in between, and they find some

00:31:48.970 --> 00:31:52.869
mediocre quarterback who was on the latter stage

00:31:52.869 --> 00:31:55.130
of his career and tell us, yeah, this guy's the

00:31:55.130 --> 00:31:58.450
answer. Everyone knew that they were past their

00:31:58.450 --> 00:32:02.690
prime and were on the downward slope. Marty's

00:32:02.690 --> 00:32:04.569
rolling over in his grave right now going, no

00:32:04.569 --> 00:32:08.250
shit. And so you're left with thinking either

00:32:08.250 --> 00:32:10.450
the Chiefs organization is really stupid and

00:32:10.450 --> 00:32:12.809
thinks this guy is the answer, or the Chiefs

00:32:12.809 --> 00:32:15.049
organization thinks we're stupid and they're

00:32:15.049 --> 00:32:17.609
trying to spin it. As he's the answer and thinks

00:32:17.609 --> 00:32:19.490
we're going to buy it. I mean, we were the trash

00:32:19.490 --> 00:32:23.250
can for San Francisco. I mean, Montana did well.

00:32:23.589 --> 00:32:26.009
I mean, but he was just on his last leg. He was

00:32:26.009 --> 00:32:28.269
already beat up. His arm wasn't nearly as strong.

00:32:28.410 --> 00:32:30.470
He was in the latter of his career. He was pretty

00:32:30.470 --> 00:32:33.529
fragile for some previous concussions, too. Yes,

00:32:33.529 --> 00:32:37.289
he was. And that's why he stepped down. He didn't

00:32:37.289 --> 00:32:39.630
opt for his third year. It's because of that.

00:32:39.710 --> 00:32:41.369
And I don't blame him. He wanted to be able to

00:32:41.369 --> 00:32:44.009
walk and think, which he still is doing pretty

00:32:44.009 --> 00:32:46.359
well. So he did the right job. You know, it's

00:32:46.359 --> 00:32:49.259
odd that we got a player with Montana in that

00:32:49.259 --> 00:32:51.200
trade, but nobody remembers who he was because

00:32:51.200 --> 00:32:53.619
he never did nothing in KC. Oh, yeah, yeah, and

00:32:53.619 --> 00:32:54.299
everybody was bragging about him. I think it

00:32:54.299 --> 00:32:56.400
was a defensive back. It was, and everybody was

00:32:56.400 --> 00:32:58.259
bragging, going, oh, my God, this is the greatest.

00:32:59.000 --> 00:33:02.240
Yeah, don't even remember his name. No, so then

00:33:02.240 --> 00:33:05.279
we get Bono and Gerbach. They were retreads.

00:33:05.539 --> 00:33:08.619
But Alex Smith panned out very well. He was the

00:33:08.619 --> 00:33:11.359
only one, but he did go straight into Andy Reid's,

00:33:11.359 --> 00:33:17.730
you know. Which did not hurt him. Do you think

00:33:17.730 --> 00:33:20.250
Andy could have done anything with Tyler Thigpen?

00:33:22.170 --> 00:33:26.690
No. No. No. No. How about Matt Castle? I think

00:33:26.690 --> 00:33:27.529
he could have done something with Matt Castle.

00:33:27.529 --> 00:33:29.089
I think he could have done something with Matt

00:33:29.089 --> 00:33:30.950
Castle. He could have groomed him into being

00:33:30.950 --> 00:33:34.730
a good backup. A game manager type backup. I

00:33:34.730 --> 00:33:38.289
think so. How about Trent Green? Trent Green

00:33:38.289 --> 00:33:40.150
could have done something pretty amazing under

00:33:40.150 --> 00:33:44.059
Andy. Because if we remember... Dick Vermeule

00:33:44.059 --> 00:33:47.000
when he had his greatest show on turf with St.

00:33:47.079 --> 00:33:49.740
Louis Rams. And Kurt Warner, Trent Green was

00:33:49.740 --> 00:33:51.619
supposed to start that season, but flew out his

00:33:51.619 --> 00:33:53.599
knee at the last second. So they thought, well,

00:33:53.660 --> 00:33:55.539
let's just let Kurt Warner run it and hope for

00:33:55.539 --> 00:33:57.359
the best. And then he kicked ass, and they're

00:33:57.359 --> 00:33:58.900
like, all right, well, we're going to trade Green.

00:33:59.019 --> 00:34:01.859
Yeah, but Dick Vermeule thought Trent Green was

00:34:01.859 --> 00:34:04.099
perfectly capable of running that offense. Hey,

00:34:04.119 --> 00:34:06.779
look at his stats in Kansas City. Yeah, he did

00:34:06.779 --> 00:34:08.619
well. He was more than an average quarterback.

00:34:08.800 --> 00:34:11.619
He was upper echelon. He was top seven, maybe

00:34:11.619 --> 00:34:14.449
five even. Plus, it was really cool to see a

00:34:14.449 --> 00:34:17.030
guy wearing a red jersey that said green on it.

00:34:17.989 --> 00:34:21.690
Yes. And also a really good guy. I know a lot

00:34:21.690 --> 00:34:23.969
of people that knew him personally and met him

00:34:23.969 --> 00:34:26.349
and just said he was just tops. Great person.

00:34:26.769 --> 00:34:29.449
But I think with Trent Green, I think that Andy

00:34:29.449 --> 00:34:31.969
Reid would have got a Spagnuolo type of guy for

00:34:31.969 --> 00:34:35.250
the defense. Yeah. Because that was her problem.

00:34:35.570 --> 00:34:38.130
Through the Bonnie holidays and the idiots like

00:34:38.130 --> 00:34:42.349
that that we had. Yeah. Ryan Sims. Sims, yeah.

00:34:43.789 --> 00:34:48.929
Ryan Jozwiak. Oh, yeah. Yeah. So Vermeer, he

00:34:48.929 --> 00:34:51.949
kind of did what people said he was, where offense,

00:34:52.190 --> 00:34:54.349
offense, offense. How are you going to stop him?

00:34:54.889 --> 00:34:57.010
Oh, we won't need you. Yeah, we'll just ask Bob.

00:34:57.070 --> 00:34:58.949
Yeah, yeah, yeah. He treated it kind of like

00:34:58.949 --> 00:35:01.730
arena football, didn't he? Yeah, yeah. Didn't

00:35:01.730 --> 00:35:04.190
he have a playoff game where nobody on the opposite

00:35:04.190 --> 00:35:08.159
team had to kick? Yeah. Yeah. Was that Indy maybe?

00:35:08.360 --> 00:35:10.519
It was Indy. Yeah. Indy never punted the whole

00:35:10.519 --> 00:35:12.960
game. Never punted the whole game. And I don't

00:35:12.960 --> 00:35:14.280
think there were any turnovers either, which

00:35:14.280 --> 00:35:16.139
means they scored on every freaking possession

00:35:16.139 --> 00:35:22.659
they had. Yeah. Yes. So I think with Andy Reid

00:35:22.659 --> 00:35:25.480
you would have had a, okay, I don't know this

00:35:25.480 --> 00:35:28.300
defensive stuff too well, so let me look around

00:35:28.300 --> 00:35:31.960
and see who I can get. He might have hired Bill

00:35:31.960 --> 00:35:38.179
Belichick. Yeah. Who knows? So, all right, let's

00:35:38.179 --> 00:35:39.860
go to you, and then I have bullet points whenever

00:35:39.860 --> 00:35:42.380
you're ready. All right, I have two things on

00:35:42.380 --> 00:35:47.599
football. One is, of all the Chiefs quarterbacks

00:35:47.599 --> 00:35:51.099
that they've ever had, the one you'd most like

00:35:51.099 --> 00:35:55.519
to hang out and party with? For a while, mine

00:35:55.519 --> 00:35:57.679
was Len Dawson, but I think I'm changing it to

00:35:57.679 --> 00:36:00.639
Steve DeBerg. He just looked like he'd be so

00:36:00.639 --> 00:36:04.719
much fun to hang out with. Okay, yeah, yeah.

00:36:04.920 --> 00:36:07.500
I would say Lynn Dawson and Steve DeBird also,

00:36:07.599 --> 00:36:12.619
and let's see. I mean, I'm not interested in

00:36:12.619 --> 00:36:15.340
Montana so much. Who was the Notorious Bachelor?

00:36:17.460 --> 00:36:20.760
Blackledge? Blackledge, maybe. Yeah. Blackledge

00:36:20.760 --> 00:36:23.800
is smart. I mean, he'd have all sorts of stuff

00:36:23.800 --> 00:36:27.820
to tell you. Yeah, he was very smart, and he's

00:36:27.820 --> 00:36:31.929
great on air. He is. You wouldn't want to hang

00:36:31.929 --> 00:36:34.130
out now he's a running back, Larry Johnson. You

00:36:34.130 --> 00:36:35.590
wouldn't want to hang out with him back then.

00:36:35.610 --> 00:36:41.829
You'd end up in jail. I like to hang out with

00:36:41.829 --> 00:36:44.309
Jan Gailey just to fuck with him. Oh, yeah. I

00:36:44.309 --> 00:36:46.710
would say stupid little shit to just blow his

00:36:46.710 --> 00:36:51.710
mind. Or you could go way back in your way back

00:36:51.710 --> 00:36:56.449
machine to Len Dawson's backup, Tom Flores. Oh,

00:36:56.449 --> 00:36:59.010
yeah. Who wound up taking the Raiders to the

00:36:59.010 --> 00:37:01.599
Super Bowl. Yeah. I think he coached in Seattle,

00:37:01.780 --> 00:37:07.000
too. Yeah, he did, yeah. Jan Stennerud, just

00:37:07.000 --> 00:37:11.079
because he had a cool name. Yeah. Oh, okay, he

00:37:11.079 --> 00:37:13.780
wasn't a quarterback, but Fred Arvanis. Yeah.

00:37:14.039 --> 00:37:18.039
Yeah, that dude was fun. Yeah. Or Grunny. Yeah.

00:37:19.519 --> 00:37:23.000
Franco told me that Grunny comes in there all

00:37:23.000 --> 00:37:25.659
the time. We talk to him. He said he's a cool

00:37:25.659 --> 00:37:28.769
guy. I doubt they'll do all the podcasts, but

00:37:28.769 --> 00:37:30.829
we might say hi to them. You might hear them

00:37:30.829 --> 00:37:34.389
go, hey. All right. Well, my other thing was

00:37:34.389 --> 00:37:37.849
I wanted to do a special edition ass paddling.

00:37:38.010 --> 00:37:40.489
Oh, yes. For the Miami Dolphins organization

00:37:40.489 --> 00:37:44.250
for the way they chewed up Tua and threw him

00:37:44.250 --> 00:37:47.809
away. Because they dumped him. They just utterly

00:37:47.809 --> 00:37:50.909
dumped him on the market. After all the torture

00:37:50.909 --> 00:37:53.440
they put him through. pushing it back out on

00:37:53.440 --> 00:37:55.559
the field when he should not have been out there,

00:37:55.659 --> 00:37:58.880
fusing up his body and his mind, and now, eh,

00:37:58.960 --> 00:38:00.980
now we'll just dump him on the open market. Yeah,

00:38:01.039 --> 00:38:04.820
I agree. Tua, I think, had all the tools. If

00:38:04.820 --> 00:38:08.079
he was nurtured right, he wouldn't have been

00:38:08.079 --> 00:38:11.099
a Mahomes, he wouldn't have been a Burrow, but

00:38:11.099 --> 00:38:12.639
he would have been behind there a little bit.

00:38:12.800 --> 00:38:15.340
And the reason I say that is because the football

00:38:15.340 --> 00:38:17.699
instincts aren't quite there like they were with

00:38:17.699 --> 00:38:22.590
Mahomes and Burrow and Allen. I think he'd be

00:38:22.590 --> 00:38:24.769
just a step below Josh Allen. Yeah, I'm just

00:38:24.769 --> 00:38:27.230
going to say, you know, Josh Allen without the

00:38:27.230 --> 00:38:30.010
rushing ability necessarily. Yeah, yeah. At least

00:38:30.010 --> 00:38:33.130
Josh Allen is like plow ahead like a bulldozer.

00:38:33.409 --> 00:38:36.429
Tua would be more scamper. Yeah, and also he

00:38:36.429 --> 00:38:39.269
doesn't need to do that ever again. Yeah. Yeah,

00:38:39.429 --> 00:38:41.969
Tua deserved better. Yes, he did. Than what he

00:38:41.969 --> 00:38:44.210
got out of the Miami Dolphins organization. He

00:38:44.210 --> 00:38:46.409
deserved a lot better. I'm glad you caught that.

00:38:46.449 --> 00:38:47.889
I didn't even think about that. But, yeah, they

00:38:47.889 --> 00:38:49.670
ruined him, and I feel sorry for him because

00:38:49.670 --> 00:38:52.829
he's a good guy. I hope he got a crap ton of

00:38:52.829 --> 00:38:56.369
money from them. I hope his contracts were incredibly

00:38:56.369 --> 00:38:59.469
juicy because he deserves every penny. You want

00:38:59.469 --> 00:39:01.150
to hear the horrible thing about it is? Okay,

00:39:01.250 --> 00:39:05.809
him and Hurts played a split season in Alabama,

00:39:06.090 --> 00:39:09.150
right? Uh -huh. Okay. He was a better quarterback.

00:39:10.409 --> 00:39:12.690
Tua was a better quarterback. He was. And Jalen

00:39:12.690 --> 00:39:14.550
Hurts has won a Super Bowl and been there twice.

00:39:15.369 --> 00:39:17.650
Jalen Hurst really benefits from the system he's

00:39:17.650 --> 00:39:19.849
in. Yes. And I think in Miami they were counting

00:39:19.849 --> 00:39:22.050
on Tua to be in the system. Yeah, they're just

00:39:22.050 --> 00:39:25.309
like, just go out there and throw. Mike McDaniels,

00:39:25.309 --> 00:39:27.610
as good as he is on offense, he was not a head

00:39:27.610 --> 00:39:31.449
coach per se. Yeah. He's better off being a coordinator

00:39:31.449 --> 00:39:36.789
just like his dad. Yeah. Josh. Josh McDaniels,

00:39:36.789 --> 00:39:41.079
yeah. And, sadly enough, there was a brief time

00:39:41.079 --> 00:39:43.340
where Miami Dolphins had an amazing defense.

00:39:43.659 --> 00:39:46.340
I think they were called the Killer Bees. But

00:39:46.340 --> 00:39:49.699
I remember a lot of stretches where Miami was

00:39:49.699 --> 00:39:53.000
all offense, no defense. I do, too. Yeah. I mean,

00:39:53.019 --> 00:39:56.659
with Marina. Yeah. That's why they never won

00:39:56.659 --> 00:39:58.440
a Super Bowl is because they're – No defense

00:39:58.440 --> 00:40:00.699
whatsoever. Yeah, it's kind of like with Dan

00:40:00.699 --> 00:40:03.940
Reeves over there with Denver. Yeah. You know,

00:40:03.960 --> 00:40:09.309
it didn't matter how many that – Elway would

00:40:09.309 --> 00:40:12.329
score. The other team would always score at least

00:40:12.329 --> 00:40:15.010
one more. And it's not like Miami had all crap

00:40:15.010 --> 00:40:16.829
players. It's just they didn't use them well.

00:40:17.130 --> 00:40:19.590
The schemes were wrong. The ideas were wrong.

00:40:19.750 --> 00:40:23.750
The consistency wasn't there. So it takes a lot

00:40:23.750 --> 00:40:25.329
to get a good defense going. Once you've got

00:40:25.329 --> 00:40:27.369
that good defense going, man, you better protect

00:40:27.369 --> 00:40:31.889
it. Yeah, I agree. Anyway, that was my thing

00:40:31.889 --> 00:40:34.050
about Tua. I'm glad you did that. Thank you.

00:40:34.960 --> 00:40:37.360
All right. Well, I have some bullet points if

00:40:37.360 --> 00:40:39.000
you want to go into it. I love the bullet points.

00:40:39.059 --> 00:40:40.940
They're not necessarily football either. That's

00:40:40.940 --> 00:40:43.719
okay. It's an alternate reality podcast. Yes.

00:40:44.519 --> 00:40:48.800
Okay. If Kansas City is famous for barbecue,

00:40:49.119 --> 00:40:51.500
what would be second on the food list that they're

00:40:51.500 --> 00:40:57.280
famous for? Oh, good question. I'm tempted to

00:40:57.280 --> 00:40:58.960
say steaks. That's what I was going to say. Because

00:40:58.960 --> 00:41:01.860
we were such a destination for the cattle drives

00:41:01.860 --> 00:41:05.059
and the stockyards, etc. And we also have some

00:41:05.059 --> 00:41:07.980
famed steak houses. The Majestic, Justin Jim's,

00:41:08.059 --> 00:41:10.460
the Golden Hawks. Hereford House. Hereford House.

00:41:10.780 --> 00:41:13.059
The one where the guy peed on the food is this.

00:41:13.179 --> 00:41:14.739
No, that's no longer there. They closed that

00:41:14.739 --> 00:41:16.320
one. I think there's only one left or two. I

00:41:16.320 --> 00:41:17.780
think there is this one, which is good because

00:41:17.780 --> 00:41:20.280
I still have gift cards. Oh, good. You better

00:41:20.280 --> 00:41:27.920
go then. Yeah. But I would say steak. Yeah, I

00:41:27.920 --> 00:41:30.000
guess that's the only thing I can think of. Yeah,

00:41:32.880 --> 00:41:36.219
I would agree. All right, yeah. Who's a bigger

00:41:36.219 --> 00:41:42.599
piece of crap, Bill or Hillary? Oh, wow. I know.

00:41:42.960 --> 00:41:46.480
That's difficult to say. It is. I know the one

00:41:46.480 --> 00:41:49.380
who is more filled with rage and anger and hatred

00:41:49.380 --> 00:41:52.860
is Hillary. Yeah. She looks like she wants to

00:41:52.860 --> 00:41:55.300
murder everybody she sees. I think she has, hasn't

00:41:55.300 --> 00:41:58.699
she? Allegedly. Allegedly. We're talking about

00:41:58.699 --> 00:42:05.420
Hilary Duff now. Yes. And Bill Cosby. Yes. No,

00:42:05.460 --> 00:42:09.659
I think Hilary's more dangerous. I think so too.

00:42:09.880 --> 00:42:13.460
Yeah. Bill is more easily controlled. Okay, bigger

00:42:13.460 --> 00:42:17.199
piece of crap. I think it's about, it depends

00:42:17.199 --> 00:42:19.420
on what you're talking about, you know. If you're

00:42:19.420 --> 00:42:22.539
talking about sexual, probably this. If you're

00:42:22.539 --> 00:42:25.599
talking about someone that'll get someone testified

00:42:25.599 --> 00:42:28.500
against and allegedly murdered, you're talking

00:42:28.500 --> 00:42:36.119
about Hillary. Allegedly. All right. If you could

00:42:36.119 --> 00:42:40.519
only own one album ever, what would that be?

00:42:46.260 --> 00:42:48.719
I'm going to go with Billion Dollar Babies by

00:42:48.719 --> 00:42:52.699
Alice Cooper. Okay. 1973. I'm going to go Kiss

00:42:52.699 --> 00:42:56.900
Alive 2. Oh, good choice. I should have gone

00:42:56.900 --> 00:42:58.780
with a double album, but I don't think Alice

00:42:58.780 --> 00:43:01.559
has ever put one out. That album put such an

00:43:01.559 --> 00:43:04.340
imprint on my life. Yeah, we talked about Ace's

00:43:04.340 --> 00:43:07.059
solo album. Yeah. That set the bar for every

00:43:07.059 --> 00:43:09.480
solo after that in the 80s and even nowadays.

00:43:09.800 --> 00:43:14.159
Yeah. Ace's solo, but everything was just so

00:43:14.159 --> 00:43:18.059
superior on that album. All the songs that they

00:43:18.059 --> 00:43:19.880
had that were real good were amped up a hundred

00:43:19.880 --> 00:43:23.960
times. I remember some people, when that album

00:43:23.960 --> 00:43:25.699
came out, were thinking, well, this is ridiculous.

00:43:25.860 --> 00:43:28.119
They've already done the double live album. But

00:43:28.119 --> 00:43:32.000
this one just, it was a worthy sequel, worthy

00:43:32.000 --> 00:43:34.739
successor. The live albums put them on the map,

00:43:34.860 --> 00:43:38.000
both of them. Kiss Alive brought them out from

00:43:38.000 --> 00:43:41.059
pretty much obscurity. But then Alive 2 just

00:43:41.059 --> 00:43:44.139
took them way over the top. Now, both Gene and

00:43:44.139 --> 00:43:47.659
Ace... would not come out and directly say it,

00:43:47.679 --> 00:43:51.239
but both dropped many hints that the Kiss Alive

00:43:51.239 --> 00:43:55.739
album was recorded in a studio and the crowd

00:43:55.739 --> 00:43:59.619
effects were added. In fact, Ace says that's

00:43:59.619 --> 00:44:02.119
why his guitar is backwards on the front. Well,

00:44:02.159 --> 00:44:04.000
you can see the face of his guitar. He's playing

00:44:04.000 --> 00:44:06.420
the back of it because that was his nod to, you

00:44:06.420 --> 00:44:10.340
were faking it. This is a fake live album. No

00:44:10.340 --> 00:44:12.860
one cares. No, no, no. It's a great album. No

00:44:12.860 --> 00:44:16.199
one cares. You listen to that album and you get

00:44:16.199 --> 00:44:18.760
amped up. It doesn't matter. You know it's fake.

00:44:18.920 --> 00:44:21.239
Yeah. But it's like that thing is like, it makes

00:44:21.239 --> 00:44:23.019
you want to punch your mom. It's so good. But

00:44:23.019 --> 00:44:26.460
there's tons of fake live songs. They just did

00:44:26.460 --> 00:44:28.420
a fake live album. There's nothing different

00:44:28.420 --> 00:44:30.239
and there's no harm, no foul. Actually, they're

00:44:30.239 --> 00:44:32.300
innovative. Yeah. I mean, it's not like it was

00:44:32.300 --> 00:44:34.940
a fraud or anything. It's not. It's just, it's

00:44:34.940 --> 00:44:37.599
a gimmick. It was fun. Yeah. And nobody should

00:44:37.599 --> 00:44:40.260
hold it against them, in my opinion. No, I think

00:44:40.260 --> 00:44:42.139
that they were some of the two greatest albums

00:44:42.139 --> 00:44:46.219
created. Yeah. Because not only the imagery and

00:44:46.219 --> 00:44:53.900
the sound that they did, but the lengths they

00:44:53.900 --> 00:44:56.880
went to to make you think that was live. Yeah.

00:44:56.920 --> 00:44:59.920
They did not settle until you were so amped up.

00:45:00.039 --> 00:45:02.079
I mean, that thing, I can listen to that album

00:45:02.079 --> 00:45:04.280
right now. Yeah, you're like, yeah, you know.

00:45:04.719 --> 00:45:06.139
They knew what they were doing, and they did

00:45:06.139 --> 00:45:09.199
it very well. I forgot who produced it, but whoever

00:45:09.199 --> 00:45:12.400
produced it did a masterful job. But you have,

00:45:12.420 --> 00:45:14.619
like, on the other end of the spectrum, the Elton

00:45:14.619 --> 00:45:17.440
John song, Benny and the Jets. Yeah. It's a fake

00:45:17.440 --> 00:45:21.380
live song, but it sounds fake. Yeah, yeah, yeah,

00:45:21.380 --> 00:45:23.480
yeah, yeah. No, I know that, yeah. You can tell

00:45:23.480 --> 00:45:26.820
it's fake because the audience applause swells

00:45:26.820 --> 00:45:29.219
up in an even swell and then down in an even

00:45:29.219 --> 00:45:32.639
swell. I would swear the Wilhelm scream is in

00:45:32.639 --> 00:45:35.699
there somewhere. It probably is. It's in everything.

00:45:36.519 --> 00:45:39.760
Throw the Wilhelm scream in there. It's public

00:45:39.760 --> 00:45:43.619
domain. What the hell? Why not? Whoever gets

00:45:43.619 --> 00:45:49.420
it, gets it. All right. What would you do if

00:45:49.420 --> 00:45:51.800
the ceramic garden owner started talking to you?

00:45:52.480 --> 00:45:57.360
Oh. I think I'd run the other way. I would have

00:45:57.360 --> 00:46:01.099
to go rob places. Oh, that's a good idea. I would

00:46:01.099 --> 00:46:06.360
give him a little pistol. A little croquet mallet,

00:46:06.360 --> 00:46:08.519
maybe? Yes, yeah, yeah. Tell them to go into

00:46:08.519 --> 00:46:14.880
stores and demand all their money. I can see

00:46:14.880 --> 00:46:19.320
that right now. What should I do? Give them the

00:46:19.320 --> 00:46:21.719
fucking money, man. It's a garden though. He's

00:46:21.719 --> 00:46:23.360
so short you wouldn't see him on the security

00:46:23.360 --> 00:46:26.320
camera. Who's robbing you? We can't see anything.

00:46:26.559 --> 00:46:28.619
Yeah, it's like, we're pretty sure this is bullshit,

00:46:28.619 --> 00:46:31.860
but they're both freaked out. We don't have any

00:46:31.860 --> 00:46:34.449
way of disproving it. You see a little tiny shadow

00:46:34.449 --> 00:46:38.969
moving around the floor. I think you can see

00:46:38.969 --> 00:46:40.610
him right there. You see that little funny hat?

00:46:40.690 --> 00:46:42.570
That little dwarf hat right there? Yeah, yeah,

00:46:42.570 --> 00:46:45.110
that's him. And it's okay to make short jokes

00:46:45.110 --> 00:46:46.929
about gnomes because they're not real creatures.

00:46:47.070 --> 00:46:48.710
That's right. That's right. Other than that,

00:46:48.710 --> 00:46:51.110
we'd be horrible people. Yeah. Yeah, and we'd

00:46:51.110 --> 00:46:53.530
probably need very bad punishment for that. Yeah,

00:46:53.550 --> 00:46:55.769
just like you can call every elf a sheep fucker

00:46:55.769 --> 00:46:57.349
because there are no elves. Well, that's right.

00:46:58.529 --> 00:47:01.650
Yeah, because if you call anyone anything that

00:47:01.650 --> 00:47:03.329
can hurt their feelings at all, that is the worst

00:47:03.329 --> 00:47:05.530
thing you can do ever. Yeah, people are actually

00:47:05.530 --> 00:47:07.369
going to jail for that in the United Kingdom,

00:47:07.469 --> 00:47:09.130
but that's their problem. Oh, they're idiots.

00:47:09.429 --> 00:47:12.789
Yeah, that's all their problem. Yep. I just want

00:47:12.789 --> 00:47:15.909
to be equal opportunity. Fuck everybody. Everybody

00:47:15.909 --> 00:47:18.510
sucks. You all fucking stink, and you're all

00:47:18.510 --> 00:47:21.460
morons. It's like the drill sergeant. Yeah, me

00:47:21.460 --> 00:47:24.000
too. It's like the drill sergeant in the full

00:47:24.000 --> 00:47:26.539
metal jacket said, to me, you are all equally

00:47:26.539 --> 00:47:30.199
worthless. Yes. That's the best statement right

00:47:30.199 --> 00:47:37.280
there. Yes. Oh, he played such a good band. Yeah.

00:47:37.340 --> 00:47:41.130
I watched a reaction video of some. people in

00:47:41.130 --> 00:47:44.570
their 20s watching that uh that scene with with

00:47:44.570 --> 00:47:47.670
arlie ermy yeah talking to him for the first

00:47:47.670 --> 00:47:49.750
time they'd ever seen it man they were shocked

00:47:49.750 --> 00:47:53.110
when they started he started smacking pile around

00:47:53.110 --> 00:47:55.989
they're like oh can they actually hit you is

00:47:55.989 --> 00:48:02.099
that allowed Guess so? Yeah, I imagine so. Oh,

00:48:02.119 --> 00:48:04.239
I think worse than that happened. Yeah, I'm pretty

00:48:04.239 --> 00:48:06.460
sure. Oh, I heard they had sock parties if someone

00:48:06.460 --> 00:48:08.500
was big enough asshole and that's where you stick

00:48:08.500 --> 00:48:11.840
cans of coke in a sock and you beat them with

00:48:11.840 --> 00:48:14.719
it. Yep. That would hurt in case anyone doesn't

00:48:14.719 --> 00:48:18.010
realize. That would hurt like hell. Yeah, I think

00:48:18.010 --> 00:48:20.909
in the movie they use bars and soap. Yeah, yeah.

00:48:21.809 --> 00:48:24.670
Which, bad enough. Bad enough, yeah. But then,

00:48:24.670 --> 00:48:26.449
I mean, if you're dirty, you can pull the soap

00:48:26.449 --> 00:48:28.630
out and wash yourself. Yeah. If you've got a

00:48:28.630 --> 00:48:30.090
little blood on you or something, you go, hey,

00:48:30.110 --> 00:48:32.650
I know you just beat my ass, but could I have

00:48:32.650 --> 00:48:34.909
one of those Irish brains, please? You know,

00:48:34.929 --> 00:48:37.690
I've got quite a bit of blood considerably on

00:48:37.690 --> 00:48:40.969
my scalp and on my ears. I really need to get

00:48:40.969 --> 00:48:42.829
that off. I've got to punch him a little bit

00:48:42.829 --> 00:48:48.670
later. All right. This one is interesting because

00:48:48.670 --> 00:48:51.590
I'm not sure there's so many of them. What would

00:48:51.590 --> 00:48:56.449
be the best invention ever? Oh, wow. Pocket pussy.

00:48:56.690 --> 00:49:00.949
No, I could think. Let's see. I've heard some

00:49:00.949 --> 00:49:04.449
people say that soap was the greatest invention

00:49:04.449 --> 00:49:06.489
because it allowed sanitation to cut down on

00:49:06.489 --> 00:49:10.210
diseases. Oh, yeah, yeah. I've heard people say

00:49:10.210 --> 00:49:13.469
electricity because it... Without electricity,

00:49:13.670 --> 00:49:15.050
you wouldn't have hot water, you wouldn't have

00:49:15.050 --> 00:49:18.230
anything. Yeah, it took an enormous amount of

00:49:18.230 --> 00:49:21.610
labor off of humans and animals when electricity

00:49:21.610 --> 00:49:24.650
came along. You see, it had to be electricity

00:49:24.650 --> 00:49:26.989
because a light bulb could not run without electricity.

00:49:27.409 --> 00:49:33.769
Yeah. So, maybe electricity, maybe fire. fire

00:49:33.769 --> 00:49:36.610
it might be fire because if you get down to the

00:49:36.610 --> 00:49:39.949
very first of it yeah it's fire of course then

00:49:39.949 --> 00:49:42.869
you could always say written language because

00:49:42.869 --> 00:49:45.349
that way dead people can tell you things yeah

00:49:45.349 --> 00:49:47.489
yeah this is true without written language you

00:49:47.489 --> 00:49:49.289
don't know what dead people said you just know

00:49:49.289 --> 00:49:51.190
what people said they said yeah like a lot of

00:49:51.190 --> 00:49:53.409
them ended like oh hey there's someone at the

00:49:53.409 --> 00:49:59.130
door hold my mead yeah hold my mead there's someone

00:49:59.130 --> 00:50:01.570
at the door i don't understand it it ends right

00:50:01.570 --> 00:50:08.969
there Wow, it's tough to pick just one, you know?

00:50:09.570 --> 00:50:12.010
It is. I'm going to go ahead and go with fire

00:50:12.010 --> 00:50:16.110
slash electricity and time. Yeah, yeah. Pocket

00:50:16.110 --> 00:50:19.550
pussy is probably fourth. Yeah. Smartphones is

00:50:19.550 --> 00:50:21.969
just not even on the list. No, no, they should

00:50:21.969 --> 00:50:24.849
be dumb phones. Smartphones is on the list of

00:50:24.849 --> 00:50:26.849
things we never should have gone near. Exactly.

00:50:27.510 --> 00:50:29.329
Even though that's what most people listen to

00:50:29.329 --> 00:50:35.539
us on. But we don't care. All right. If you won

00:50:35.539 --> 00:50:38.039
a three, seven -day vacation anywhere in the

00:50:38.039 --> 00:50:45.840
world, where would you go? Wow. Well, up until

00:50:45.840 --> 00:50:48.780
about ten years ago, I would have said I want

00:50:48.780 --> 00:50:51.300
to go to France and visit all the World War I

00:50:51.300 --> 00:50:54.119
battlefields. But right now, I don't want to

00:50:54.119 --> 00:51:00.409
go anywhere near France. No, no. Seven days.

00:51:00.469 --> 00:51:04.309
I think I would go to Alaska. That's a wise choice.

00:51:04.309 --> 00:51:07.190
I think I would get along with the attitude in

00:51:07.190 --> 00:51:12.730
Alaska. Okay. I'm going to just say probably

00:51:12.730 --> 00:51:17.570
Aruba. Aruba. And the reason is because I don't

00:51:17.570 --> 00:51:18.889
want to go to the other side of the world with

00:51:18.889 --> 00:51:21.309
everything going on right now. Yeah. I mean,

00:51:21.309 --> 00:51:25.650
because we plan in Europe, but man, that keeps

00:51:25.650 --> 00:51:27.170
getting put off. We don't know when we're going

00:51:27.170 --> 00:51:32.510
to do that. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, New Zealand.

00:51:32.690 --> 00:51:35.190
My mom went to New Zealand once. I would love

00:51:35.190 --> 00:51:38.050
New Zealand. Costa Rica is another one. But New

00:51:38.050 --> 00:51:41.230
Zealand is so far away. Yes. And you are so dependent

00:51:41.230 --> 00:51:44.489
on a lot of other countries allowing you to travel

00:51:44.489 --> 00:51:47.829
back and forth that it's just a risk. Yeah, I

00:51:47.829 --> 00:51:49.289
don't think I'd want anything to do with that

00:51:49.289 --> 00:51:54.550
right now. All right. Do you own a snow globe?

00:51:55.429 --> 00:51:58.699
I do not. Good. Neither do I. Wow. I used to

00:51:58.699 --> 00:52:01.639
when I was a kid. Well, I should have added that

00:52:01.639 --> 00:52:05.380
to the you might be a pussy hit. Yeah. Actually,

00:52:05.599 --> 00:52:07.059
I'm going to write that down. You've got a pencil.

00:52:07.239 --> 00:52:09.260
I do. Because that's going on the next one. All

00:52:09.260 --> 00:52:12.320
right. All right. See, this content just creates

00:52:12.320 --> 00:52:14.739
itself. It does. We just kind of sit here and

00:52:14.739 --> 00:52:17.380
it just happens. Or in the case of the other

00:52:17.380 --> 00:52:19.780
show, the emails create themselves. Oh, yeah.

00:52:19.780 --> 00:52:22.699
It's a big man. Yeah. You know, since the emails

00:52:22.699 --> 00:52:27.269
are being such a good source. We ought to start

00:52:27.269 --> 00:52:30.130
asking people to email us about stuff. Anything

00:52:30.130 --> 00:52:32.610
we're not sure of, it's like, I can't remember,

00:52:32.829 --> 00:52:34.590
it's like, eh, somebody email us and tell us

00:52:34.590 --> 00:52:37.269
what we were trying to think of. You know what?

00:52:37.369 --> 00:52:39.349
We have so many active participants, that would

00:52:39.349 --> 00:52:41.690
work. I think so. I mean, it's almost like another

00:52:41.690 --> 00:52:44.389
form of people calling in. Yeah, yeah. Really

00:52:44.389 --> 00:52:48.110
good. I mean, we have some really good people

00:52:48.110 --> 00:52:50.389
that are constant emailers. I'm talking about

00:52:50.389 --> 00:52:52.750
like the Ronnie from Tulsa, the Rossington from

00:52:52.750 --> 00:52:55.719
Dallas. Johnny and LP started chiming in again.

00:52:55.880 --> 00:52:59.780
Mitch, of course. Even though, fuck him. Yeah,

00:53:02.380 --> 00:53:04.260
we have some really good emailers. There's other

00:53:04.260 --> 00:53:06.619
ones, I can't name them all, but you guys know

00:53:06.619 --> 00:53:08.980
who you are, and thank you. But right now, I

00:53:08.980 --> 00:53:11.239
would like to say, if anybody in the Miami area

00:53:11.239 --> 00:53:16.460
is listening, email us and tell us what you think

00:53:16.460 --> 00:53:19.400
about how Tua was treated by the Dolphins. I

00:53:19.400 --> 00:53:22.599
would love to hear a Dolphin fan's... a viewpoint

00:53:22.599 --> 00:53:27.280
on on how to was treated there okay i would too

00:53:27.280 --> 00:53:31.219
yeah yeah that's great all right thank you all

00:53:31.219 --> 00:53:33.860
right if a good friend had a horrible case of

00:53:33.860 --> 00:53:37.219
male camel toe would you alert him i would i

00:53:37.219 --> 00:53:39.300
would i would definitely yeah you don't you don't

00:53:39.300 --> 00:53:41.440
let that go on i would say look the farm animals

00:53:41.440 --> 00:53:43.420
kind of scrunched up today maybe you need to

00:53:43.420 --> 00:53:46.260
like smooth them out a little bit Maybe shake

00:53:46.260 --> 00:53:47.860
the drawers a little bit, get him out of there.

00:53:48.079 --> 00:53:50.119
He's kind of like in a pocket, twisted. Yeah,

00:53:50.139 --> 00:53:51.699
you might want to take those golf balls out of

00:53:51.699 --> 00:53:53.760
your pocket there, dude. Yes, quit smuggling

00:53:53.760 --> 00:53:58.320
those. I think it's the right thing to do if

00:53:58.320 --> 00:53:59.679
you care about someone. I think it is the right

00:53:59.679 --> 00:54:01.639
thing to do, yeah. But the only thing is you

00:54:01.639 --> 00:54:03.559
tell him in front of everybody, all your buddies.

00:54:03.699 --> 00:54:06.440
You don't tell him alone. And you point. Yes.

00:54:07.079 --> 00:54:09.239
And then if someone's looking at it funny, you

00:54:09.239 --> 00:54:11.019
point it out. You go, see, look right there.

00:54:11.380 --> 00:54:13.380
That looks like an elephant ear. That looks like

00:54:13.380 --> 00:54:16.260
a smashed basketball. And that, I'm not sure

00:54:16.260 --> 00:54:17.940
what the fuck it looks like, but it looks like

00:54:17.940 --> 00:54:22.019
something. And then after everyone gets done

00:54:22.019 --> 00:54:23.739
laughing and everything, and he gets mad at you,

00:54:23.780 --> 00:54:25.860
you go, I could have not told you. This is true.

00:54:26.019 --> 00:54:28.119
Yeah. It's kind of along the lines of the guy's

00:54:28.119 --> 00:54:30.820
fly is open. Yeah, you let him go for a while,

00:54:30.900 --> 00:54:32.280
and then you tell him in front of everybody,

00:54:32.340 --> 00:54:35.599
too. Unless it's someone you really dislike.

00:54:36.400 --> 00:54:38.079
And then you just point your finger and call

00:54:38.079 --> 00:54:46.980
them a pedo. That'll do it. All right, next one.

00:54:48.519 --> 00:54:54.760
Nike, Adidas, Skechers, or other? I have been

00:54:54.760 --> 00:54:57.960
buying Skechers recently because they're inexpensive

00:54:57.960 --> 00:55:01.199
and handy. That's what I'm on to. Well, I like

00:55:01.199 --> 00:55:05.539
Skechers. They have the new... Slip -ons? Yeah.

00:55:05.699 --> 00:55:07.880
Oh, they're fantastic. I'm wearing some right

00:55:07.880 --> 00:55:12.719
now. I am too. But I would say other because

00:55:12.719 --> 00:55:16.019
my favorite thing to wear is cowboy boots. Oh,

00:55:16.019 --> 00:55:18.420
okay. And I've got a pair of Ariat cowboy boots

00:55:18.420 --> 00:55:21.099
that are wonderfully comfortable. Do you have

00:55:21.099 --> 00:55:24.960
spurs on them? No. Damn it. I used to have a

00:55:24.960 --> 00:55:27.519
pair of Fry boots that my sister got at a garage

00:55:27.519 --> 00:55:30.880
sale. The ones with the super pointy toe, you

00:55:30.880 --> 00:55:33.519
can crush a cockroach in the corner with those

00:55:33.519 --> 00:55:36.000
boots. Oh, yeah. I wore out like three pairs

00:55:36.000 --> 00:55:38.440
of heels on those fry boots before they just

00:55:38.440 --> 00:55:41.360
had to go. The cockroach's laughing at you. Tell

00:55:41.360 --> 00:55:44.599
me who's those. I did have one pair of boots

00:55:44.599 --> 00:55:46.360
that was kind of blunt -toed and kind of a half

00:55:46.360 --> 00:55:48.500
boot, and those were great for the motorcycle.

00:55:49.039 --> 00:55:52.280
You could slip them on, go ride, take them right

00:55:52.280 --> 00:55:55.380
back off. But I can even drum in cowboy boots.

00:55:55.480 --> 00:55:59.760
It's no problem. So I hardly ever wear them,

00:55:59.800 --> 00:56:02.099
but I love wearing cowboy boots. Yeah, I do too.

00:56:04.019 --> 00:56:06.179
Actually, not cowboy boots. I like wearing boots,

00:56:06.440 --> 00:56:08.880
but not cowboy boots. And the reason is I have

00:56:08.880 --> 00:56:13.800
a wide foot. Oh. Okay. All right, and finally,

00:56:13.980 --> 00:56:16.980
what if someone left a suitcase on your porch

00:56:16.980 --> 00:56:19.840
and Ring didn't pick up the person, what would

00:56:19.840 --> 00:56:24.619
you do? Ooh, I can't think I'd call the bomb

00:56:24.619 --> 00:56:28.420
squad. I think I would, too. I'd be tempted to

00:56:28.420 --> 00:56:30.679
go to the bomb squad. I would, too. Yeah. Come

00:56:30.679 --> 00:56:33.699
out here and have some bomb -sniffing rat come

00:56:33.699 --> 00:56:36.280
smell my package. Oh, that didn't sound right.

00:56:36.940 --> 00:56:39.719
Smell the package on my porch. There we go. That

00:56:39.719 --> 00:56:41.480
sounds better. It's all in the wording, isn't

00:56:41.480 --> 00:56:44.300
it? Had to log you up on that one, didn't you?

00:56:44.440 --> 00:56:55.289
Yeah. All right. we look in on the adventures

00:56:55.289 --> 00:56:59.010
of the technical explanation guy excuse me my

00:56:59.010 --> 00:57:01.989
dear sir could you please put my plain bread

00:57:01.989 --> 00:57:04.150
in a small countertop appliance with heating

00:57:04.150 --> 00:57:06.869
elements that would spring loaded and would brown

00:57:06.869 --> 00:57:09.710
my bread adequately well first off i'm not a

00:57:09.710 --> 00:57:12.130
waiter i'm just a guy over there sitting at the

00:57:12.130 --> 00:57:15.250
table having a drink second off are you talking

00:57:15.250 --> 00:57:18.079
about someone toasting your bread well yes Yes,

00:57:18.079 --> 00:57:20.340
I am. I'm talking about my bread being toasted.

00:57:20.440 --> 00:57:22.320
Then why don't you just ask for your bread to

00:57:22.320 --> 00:57:24.760
be toasted, you dumb bastard? What the hell's

00:57:24.760 --> 00:57:28.300
wrong with you? Hey, if you're a fan of paying

00:57:28.300 --> 00:57:30.519
way too much for trinkets and food, well, your

00:57:30.519 --> 00:57:33.019
wish is coming true. Kansas City International

00:57:33.019 --> 00:57:35.639
Airport Guest Pass program is starting today.

00:57:36.179 --> 00:57:39.219
Yes, you too could overspend on workless trinkets

00:57:39.219 --> 00:57:43.079
and $15 cups of coffee. Want to buy a $50 cheap

00:57:43.079 --> 00:57:45.900
t -shirt that has KC Western Auto Building image

00:57:45.900 --> 00:57:49.190
on it? We got you covered. Want a barbecue sauce

00:57:49.190 --> 00:57:52.130
gift pack? No problem. Just a mere 40 bucks on

00:57:52.130 --> 00:57:54.710
your first morning. Hurry. You know rubes are

00:57:54.710 --> 00:57:57.349
jumping all over to get to this complete ripoff.

00:57:58.269 --> 00:58:03.289
Because people are sheen. And now, Deep Thoughts

00:58:03.289 --> 00:58:09.909
with Mark. If your car could travel at the speed

00:58:09.909 --> 00:58:22.889
of light, would your headlights work? Hey there,

00:58:22.949 --> 00:58:25.829
slap nuts. It's time for the Creeps Music News.

00:58:28.469 --> 00:58:30.969
Hey, my little pumpkin seeds. This is Johnny

00:58:30.969 --> 00:58:35.289
Rohypnol with your music news. John Karabi, former

00:58:35.289 --> 00:58:38.989
lead singer of Motley Crue and The Scream, has

00:58:38.989 --> 00:58:41.750
a new album coming out on April 24th called New

00:58:41.750 --> 00:58:44.750
Day. You can pre -order the album online. The

00:58:44.750 --> 00:58:47.500
effort features guitars, like Richard Fortis

00:58:47.500 --> 00:58:50.519
from Guns N' Roses, Paul Taylor from winger Steve

00:58:50.519 --> 00:58:54.360
Perry on keyboards, Marty Freckerson, producer

00:58:54.360 --> 00:58:57.019
of multi -instrumentalists, and Charlie Starr

00:58:57.019 --> 00:58:59.920
from Blackberry Smoke on guitar solos, alongside

00:58:59.920 --> 00:59:03.519
Evan Freckerson on drums and bass. This should

00:59:03.519 --> 00:59:06.059
be a pretty good album. Sure has a lot of talent

00:59:06.059 --> 00:59:09.920
to go with it. This is Johnny Rohypnol. That

00:59:09.920 --> 00:59:12.699
was your music news, and remember, bar chords

00:59:12.699 --> 00:59:19.730
are bullshit. Next up, things overheard in hell.

00:59:21.190 --> 00:59:26.309
Gary Glitter has been named the lead singer in

00:59:26.309 --> 00:59:32.389
the boys' choir of hell. This is Joshua Belmont,

00:59:32.469 --> 00:59:35.250
your food for thought man on The Hustle. So I

00:59:35.250 --> 00:59:37.329
just realized a genius that gets absolutely no

00:59:37.329 --> 00:59:40.789
credit. His name is Marshall Taylor. He is credited

00:59:40.789 --> 00:59:43.070
with the first bag of salad mix that was bagged

00:59:43.070 --> 00:59:47.420
and sold. Yesterday was his birthday. I believe

00:59:47.420 --> 00:59:50.199
he is still alive. This guy's genius will never

00:59:50.199 --> 00:59:53.500
be fully appreciated. Before this man, we settled

00:59:53.500 --> 00:59:55.940
for iceberg lettuce with maybe a couple of croutons

00:59:55.940 --> 00:59:58.900
and some cheese. Was Mr. Taylor satisfied with

00:59:58.900 --> 01:00:02.300
that? Hell no. He realized that Billy Americana

01:00:02.300 --> 01:00:04.300
would never go out and buy a couple of radishes,

01:00:04.500 --> 01:00:06.739
a couple of carrots, a head of purple cabbage,

01:00:06.900 --> 01:00:09.559
maybe snow peas, and possibly some cute romaine

01:00:09.559 --> 01:00:13.440
lettuce for extra bougie. Mr. Taylor. You should

01:00:13.440 --> 01:00:33.599
have a national holiday. All right. We decided

01:00:33.599 --> 01:00:35.960
to take pause in this so you can hear all the

01:00:35.960 --> 01:00:39.219
beautiful little skits. We're hoping that the

01:00:39.219 --> 01:00:44.300
Nigel, the Rice Krispie. What would he be? The

01:00:44.300 --> 01:00:46.380
problem child? The fourth brother. The fourth

01:00:46.380 --> 01:00:49.159
brother that was outcasted from the family. Yeah,

01:00:49.199 --> 01:00:51.199
kind of like the Marx Brothers. The only three

01:00:51.199 --> 01:00:52.880
of them really made it. Yeah, yeah. Well, this

01:00:52.880 --> 01:00:55.780
guy Nigel, he's had a lot of problems. But you'll

01:00:55.780 --> 01:00:58.139
hear about it. Hopefully he will be in that in

01:00:58.139 --> 01:01:00.159
-between here. We'll see. It is kind of a sad

01:01:00.159 --> 01:01:04.480
story. It is. But anyhow, welcome back. Welcome

01:01:04.480 --> 01:01:06.940
to your guest. Two douchebags microphone. Alternate

01:01:06.940 --> 01:01:11.260
universe. Yes. All right. I have an interesting

01:01:11.260 --> 01:01:14.960
report here about Girl Scout cookies. Okay. And

01:01:14.960 --> 01:01:17.260
no, I'm not talking about the weed variety. This

01:01:17.260 --> 01:01:19.500
is the actual cookies you buy from the Girl Scouts.

01:01:19.500 --> 01:01:24.800
Okay. There's a 2025 class action lawsuit alleges

01:01:24.800 --> 01:01:27.139
that popular Girl Scout cookie varieties contain

01:01:27.139 --> 01:01:30.400
high levels of heavy metals, including lead,

01:01:30.599 --> 01:01:33.719
arsenic, cadmium, and mercury, along with the

01:01:33.719 --> 01:01:36.619
pesticide glyphosate, which is Roundup. Oh, my

01:01:36.619 --> 01:01:40.780
God. based on a December 2024 study of 25 cookie

01:01:40.780 --> 01:01:44.519
types. The lawsuit claims these substances exceed

01:01:44.519 --> 01:01:47.559
safe recommended levels. Conversely, the Girl

01:01:47.559 --> 01:01:49.539
Scouts of the USA maintain their products are

01:01:49.539 --> 01:01:52.760
safe, adhere to FDA and EPA food standards, and

01:01:52.760 --> 01:01:54.980
that any trace amounts of these substances can

01:01:54.980 --> 01:01:59.900
occur naturally in soil. Which is true. But the

01:01:59.900 --> 01:02:01.940
key details regarding the allegations and responses

01:02:01.940 --> 01:02:05.219
include alleged contaminants. The lawsuit claims

01:02:05.219 --> 01:02:10.880
tests found... aluminum, arsenic, cadmium, lead,

01:02:11.159 --> 01:02:14.320
and mercury. Basically, anything above iron is

01:02:14.320 --> 01:02:16.480
a heavy metal because our bodies are designed

01:02:16.480 --> 01:02:19.500
to handle iron. Anything above iron is a heavy

01:02:19.500 --> 01:02:22.980
metal. I can see that. Okay. Along with glyphosate.

01:02:23.039 --> 01:02:25.659
A commissioned investigation has found that all

01:02:25.659 --> 01:02:29.920
100 % tested Girl Scout cookie samples contained

01:02:29.920 --> 01:02:33.579
glyphosate and at least one heavy metal. Every

01:02:33.579 --> 01:02:37.150
single test. glyphosate, and at least one heavy

01:02:37.150 --> 01:02:39.409
metal. Okay, that is too much. That is too much,

01:02:39.530 --> 01:02:43.570
yeah. With some exceeding EPA water safety limits,

01:02:43.730 --> 01:02:46.190
researchers led by Stephanie Seneff, Ph .D.,

01:02:46.190 --> 01:02:48.289
a senior research scientist at the Massachusetts

01:02:48.289 --> 01:02:52.449
Institute of Technology, MIT. Okay. They tested

01:02:52.449 --> 01:02:54.789
25 cookie samples from three different states

01:02:54.789 --> 01:02:57.550
for contamination. The findings from the study,

01:02:57.570 --> 01:03:01.070
published on gmoscience .org, so you can go look

01:03:01.070 --> 01:03:05.130
at that, gmoscience .org. revealed that 100 of

01:03:05.130 --> 01:03:08.289
samples tested positive for glyphosate an herbicide

01:03:08.289 --> 01:03:11.309
commonly used as a drying agent in crop production

01:03:11.309 --> 01:03:14.510
so they're not even using it as a pesticide even

01:03:14.510 --> 01:03:17.670
though it is they're using it to dry like the

01:03:17.670 --> 01:03:20.349
wheat or whatever other crop they're using as

01:03:20.349 --> 01:03:24.070
ingredients for the girl scout so for the girl

01:03:24.070 --> 01:03:27.269
scout organization they're not putting the poison

01:03:27.269 --> 01:03:30.289
in they're buying these cookies from a couple

01:03:30.289 --> 01:03:32.369
of different manufacturers and they're the ones

01:03:32.369 --> 01:03:37.210
buying contaminated foods wow um that's even

01:03:37.210 --> 01:03:42.969
worse because yeah yeah so the thin mints showed

01:03:42.969 --> 01:03:46.449
the highest glyphosate levels at 111 parts per

01:03:46.449 --> 01:03:49.550
billion while the peanut butter patties contain

01:03:49.550 --> 01:03:53.469
13 .5 parts per billion according to the report

01:03:53.469 --> 01:03:58.900
these levels are 334 times higher than the safe

01:03:58.900 --> 01:04:05.659
limit. Ooh. 334 times the safe limit. You're

01:04:05.659 --> 01:04:07.579
getting fucked up when you eat Girl Scout. Yeah.

01:04:08.019 --> 01:04:10.480
Oh, my God. No wonder I felt like shit. I thought

01:04:10.480 --> 01:04:13.019
it was just because of all the sugar. Yeah, you

01:04:13.019 --> 01:04:15.460
know how you go on a rampage? Yeah. Yeah, it's

01:04:15.460 --> 01:04:17.420
like, I don't want any. Yeah, and it's like,

01:04:17.500 --> 01:04:19.579
ah, well, you know what? It's already ruined

01:04:19.579 --> 01:04:22.840
now. Here, give me a rest. Now, the heavy metal

01:04:22.840 --> 01:04:25.960
contamination was also widespread with 88 % of

01:04:25.960 --> 01:04:28.980
the samples, which is 22 out of the 25, testing

01:04:28.980 --> 01:04:32.599
positive for all five toxic heavy metals. Oh,

01:04:32.619 --> 01:04:36.800
my God. All five. Which was aluminum, arsenic,

01:04:36.800 --> 01:04:41.139
cadmium, lead, and mercury. That's insane. 76

01:04:41.139 --> 01:04:44.219
% of samples exceeded the Environmental Protection

01:04:44.219 --> 01:04:47.599
Agency's water limits for cadmium at five parts

01:04:47.599 --> 01:04:51.699
per billion, and 96 % of the samples. contained

01:04:51.699 --> 01:04:55.780
detectable lead levels. Turn them in. Yep. Okay.

01:04:55.920 --> 01:05:00.139
So, 96%, that would be all but one sample, contained

01:05:00.139 --> 01:05:05.320
lead. Quote, health implications of toxic substances

01:05:05.320 --> 01:05:07.780
in Girl Scout cookies extend beyond the immediate

01:05:07.780 --> 01:05:10.320
impact on our girls and affect the public at

01:05:10.320 --> 01:05:13.300
large, the research wrote. Identifying and eliminating

01:05:13.300 --> 01:05:15.400
the source of these toxic metals is imperative

01:05:15.400 --> 01:05:18.590
to safeguarding public health. The study examined

01:05:18.590 --> 01:05:21.130
cookies from California, Iowa, and Louisiana,

01:05:21.489 --> 01:05:24.110
analyzing products from both major Girl Scout

01:05:24.110 --> 01:05:27.349
cookie manufacturers, ABC Bakers and Little Brownie

01:05:27.349 --> 01:05:30.590
Bakers. So ABC and Little Brownie are the ones

01:05:30.590 --> 01:05:33.130
buying contaminated ingredients and making cookies

01:05:33.130 --> 01:05:36.409
out of them. Whether they know they're buying

01:05:36.409 --> 01:05:40.150
contaminated ingredients, I don't know. Peanut

01:05:40.150 --> 01:05:41.929
butter patties show the highest contamination

01:05:41.929 --> 01:05:45.829
levels for heavy metals, with lead concentrations

01:05:45.829 --> 01:05:49.789
reaching 42 parts per billion, and get this,

01:05:49.949 --> 01:05:56.050
aluminum levels, 27 ,500 parts per billion. Wow.

01:05:56.630 --> 01:06:02.130
27 ,500. Jeez. That's just fucking stupid. It's

01:06:02.130 --> 01:06:04.710
like they must be dumping aluminum directly into

01:06:04.710 --> 01:06:08.670
the cookie batter. It's crazy. Researchers noted

01:06:08.670 --> 01:06:10.969
that the Girl Scouts USA organization, which

01:06:10.969 --> 01:06:13.550
sells approximately 200 million boxes of cookies

01:06:13.550 --> 01:06:16.309
annually and collects about 800 million in revenue

01:06:16.309 --> 01:06:19.210
from sales, was contacted before the study's

01:06:19.210 --> 01:06:23.349
publication but did not respond. The study authors

01:06:23.349 --> 01:06:26.210
proposed transitioning to organic and regenerative

01:06:26.210 --> 01:06:29.170
farming practices as the solution, basically

01:06:29.170 --> 01:06:32.789
saying that in order to produce Girl Scout cookies,

01:06:33.599 --> 01:06:37.780
They have about $16 million in purchasing power,

01:06:37.900 --> 01:06:40.980
so they can dictate to the suppliers, we want

01:06:40.980 --> 01:06:43.500
clean stuff, we want it tested, we want it double

01:06:43.500 --> 01:06:45.880
tested, or you don't get our business. They could

01:06:45.880 --> 01:06:48.440
do that. They could use their purchasing power.

01:06:48.619 --> 01:06:51.440
So far, they have chosen not to. Now, if you

01:06:51.440 --> 01:06:53.579
want to look up anything more on this, this research

01:06:53.579 --> 01:06:56.179
was conducted in collaboration between GMO Science,

01:06:56.539 --> 01:06:59.239
Moms Across America, and other consumer groups

01:06:59.239 --> 01:07:01.179
with funding acknowledgement to the Westrike

01:07:01.179 --> 01:07:04.539
Foundation. Wow. Well, good thing I don't eat

01:07:04.539 --> 01:07:08.300
them hardly ever. Oh, yeah. Jeez. Girl Scout

01:07:08.300 --> 01:07:12.199
cookies. It's another example of hiding under

01:07:12.199 --> 01:07:17.800
such a benevolent and happy and fun image. Nobody

01:07:17.800 --> 01:07:20.039
would suspect Girl Scout cookies being full of

01:07:20.039 --> 01:07:22.519
poison. So that's the perfect dumping ground

01:07:22.519 --> 01:07:26.260
for it. Another thing is this. People can't turn

01:07:26.260 --> 01:07:29.599
down a little girl selling Girl Scout. It's impossible.

01:07:30.360 --> 01:07:32.539
They go, sir, would you like to buy some? And

01:07:32.539 --> 01:07:34.960
you're like, of course I would. And you're like,

01:07:35.059 --> 01:07:37.159
okay, I'm going to hold firm and only buy a couple.

01:07:37.300 --> 01:07:38.800
And they look at you with those little eyes.

01:07:38.820 --> 01:07:43.699
It's like, okay, give me 10. And you're right.

01:07:43.800 --> 01:07:46.519
They use that. They know that people are going

01:07:46.519 --> 01:07:48.860
to buy in from their grandkids like we do or

01:07:48.860 --> 01:07:52.280
whoever. And because of that, it is possible.

01:07:53.130 --> 01:07:57.670
that the business idea is let's buy the cheapest,

01:07:57.889 --> 01:08:01.070
most contaminated, quality control failing shit

01:08:01.070 --> 01:08:03.750
we can because people are going to buy them anyway

01:08:03.750 --> 01:08:06.429
and it won't make a difference. Yes. That could

01:08:06.429 --> 01:08:09.550
be happening. You know what? Yeah, all this is

01:08:09.550 --> 01:08:11.789
allegedly, but I can see exactly what you think.

01:08:11.889 --> 01:08:14.469
Yeah. If you know they can't resist a little

01:08:14.469 --> 01:08:17.529
girl, you'd fill the boxes full of dirt. Yeah,

01:08:17.529 --> 01:08:21.479
you're right. Yeah. I got some things to whisper

01:08:21.479 --> 01:08:24.319
in a stranger's ear. Oh, this is good. Remember

01:08:24.319 --> 01:08:28.939
those? I like these. This is just like we're

01:08:28.939 --> 01:08:31.720
just walking down the road and there's something

01:08:31.720 --> 01:08:34.500
to whisper in their ear. Keep them on their feet.

01:08:34.600 --> 01:08:40.119
Keep them apart. Okay. Number one, walk up to

01:08:40.119 --> 01:08:42.260
someone and go, I wouldn't stand there if I were

01:08:42.260 --> 01:08:46.819
you. And then just walk off. Yeah. You talk about

01:08:46.819 --> 01:08:48.600
someone looking around going, what, hey, what,

01:08:48.659 --> 01:08:50.720
who, what, what, here, where? Would it be better

01:08:50.720 --> 01:08:53.300
to look straight up or look around at the rooftops?

01:08:53.539 --> 01:08:56.140
I think I'd look at the rooftops. I don't know

01:08:56.140 --> 01:08:57.520
why, but I just think I'd look. Sniper action.

01:08:57.699 --> 01:09:03.000
Yeah, sniper action. Next one, number two would

01:09:03.000 --> 01:09:08.460
be blink twice if you're him. I like that one.

01:09:08.960 --> 01:09:13.000
Oh, my God, did I blink twice? Maybe I'm him.

01:09:13.060 --> 01:09:18.659
Maybe he thinks I'm him. Yeah, I would. Oh, shoot.

01:09:18.699 --> 01:09:21.180
I forgot. No wonder my foot hurts. Oh, yeah.

01:09:21.220 --> 01:09:23.300
You forgot your chair. I forgot my chair. Hang

01:09:23.300 --> 01:09:27.859
on a second. I'm constantly squirming. Okay.

01:09:28.100 --> 01:09:30.079
That's better now, isn't it? Yeah, much better.

01:09:30.239 --> 01:09:32.159
All right. Are we still on? We're still on. Okay,

01:09:32.199 --> 01:09:36.920
good. Good. All right. Number three. You smell

01:09:36.920 --> 01:09:44.899
different than all the other specimens. That

01:09:44.899 --> 01:09:47.460
was a good choice of words, too. Specimen. Specimen.

01:09:47.840 --> 01:09:57.300
That sells it. Specimen, who, me? Wow. That was

01:09:57.300 --> 01:10:02.359
pretty good, too. I like that. Number four. In

01:10:02.359 --> 01:10:13.140
your photo, you look calm. Okay. Wow. What photo?

01:10:13.199 --> 01:10:17.180
Where? That would be a freaky thing right there.

01:10:17.319 --> 01:10:23.199
That would be, yeah. Number five. Oh, good. You're

01:10:23.199 --> 01:10:29.899
the one that can see me. That's a good one. Oh,

01:10:30.340 --> 01:10:38.960
gosh. Number six. Which one is he? Oh, that's

01:10:38.960 --> 01:10:41.279
a good one. People go, what, am I going to get

01:10:41.279 --> 01:10:44.689
someone killed? oh my gosh that was kind of that

01:10:44.689 --> 01:10:50.130
oh well number seven i found it and that's just

01:10:50.130 --> 01:10:54.350
not so much a creeper that's people go what um

01:10:54.350 --> 01:11:00.430
another one is uh okay these are the ones that

01:11:00.430 --> 01:11:02.430
i got off the internet that aren't so good but

01:11:02.430 --> 01:11:04.850
i just grounded it out so i'm not real proud

01:11:04.850 --> 01:11:06.890
of these the first ones i like much better but

01:11:06.890 --> 01:11:11.090
number eight why did you come over here That

01:11:11.090 --> 01:11:13.829
one's like that. People seem to like that one.

01:11:14.750 --> 01:11:20.390
Number nine. When does your shift begin? That's

01:11:20.390 --> 01:11:25.229
a good one. It needs to have some sense of mistaken

01:11:25.229 --> 01:11:28.590
identity in it. Yes. Like the tenth one. The

01:11:28.590 --> 01:11:35.670
final one. You didn't lock your door. You have

01:11:35.670 --> 01:11:41.000
to say that creepy. Yeah, you have to say that

01:11:41.000 --> 01:11:42.939
creepy. You can't just go, oh, you didn't lock

01:11:42.939 --> 01:11:45.239
your door. You go, you didn't lock your door.

01:11:48.399 --> 01:11:50.840
Something I've heard of is you walk up and you

01:11:50.840 --> 01:11:52.939
say, I took care of it, but I'm not cleaning

01:11:52.939 --> 01:11:58.039
up the blood. Or the one that I love so much

01:11:58.039 --> 01:12:00.060
is, it's done, but there's blood everywhere.

01:12:00.340 --> 01:12:07.670
Yes. Okay, I've got some... Do you have something

01:12:07.670 --> 01:12:09.310
else you want to go into? Or you could walk up

01:12:09.310 --> 01:12:12.409
and look at them and say, yeah, they said you'd

01:12:12.409 --> 01:12:22.329
be dressed like this. That one's good. That could

01:12:22.329 --> 01:12:24.729
be a good thing or a bad thing or a threatening

01:12:24.729 --> 01:12:27.189
thing. Yeah, that's one of the ones that are

01:12:27.189 --> 01:12:29.550
very unprovable. It's like, well, what did he

01:12:29.550 --> 01:12:33.649
say to you? Oh, that's it? And if you're pressed,

01:12:33.750 --> 01:12:35.630
just say, well, it's the voices in my head. Yeah,

01:12:35.630 --> 01:12:38.149
they'll leave you alone. All right, thank you,

01:12:38.170 --> 01:12:42.909
bye. Yeah. All right, how long have we got on

01:12:42.909 --> 01:12:45.170
this one? We have an hour and three minutes.

01:12:45.449 --> 01:12:48.029
Okay, we're going to keep going then? Yeah. All

01:12:48.029 --> 01:12:52.470
right, there is this deal, and this spawned from

01:12:52.470 --> 01:12:54.869
Valentine's Day. I didn't get to this earlier.

01:12:55.050 --> 01:13:02.100
I apologize, but... Okay, donations from $15

01:13:02.100 --> 01:13:06.199
to $50, shelter's name, feral cats after formal

01:13:06.199 --> 01:13:10.579
flames, and then they spay or neuter them as

01:13:10.579 --> 01:13:12.859
a symbolic, like that person should never breathe.

01:13:13.060 --> 01:13:16.420
Yeah. Okay, and that's from donations $15 to

01:13:16.420 --> 01:13:20.680
$50, and these are... animal shelters in Florida

01:13:20.680 --> 01:13:22.319
that are doing this right now, but I believe

01:13:22.319 --> 01:13:23.680
there's other states that are doing it right

01:13:23.680 --> 01:13:26.359
now too. I think that's great. The concept of

01:13:26.359 --> 01:13:29.500
spread to shelters in Iowa, Canada, and Ireland,

01:13:29.680 --> 01:13:33.319
blending petty pleasure with actual good deeds.

01:13:33.520 --> 01:13:35.340
And that seems to be a thing. They're starting

01:13:35.340 --> 01:13:37.300
to do stuff like that where you give a donation

01:13:37.300 --> 01:13:41.159
and they do something cool, but something that

01:13:41.159 --> 01:13:45.510
you want to get a point across too. So down in

01:13:45.510 --> 01:13:48.510
Texas, the Gulf Coast Humane Society offers a

01:13:48.510 --> 01:13:52.109
different approach to dumping on one's former

01:13:52.109 --> 01:13:57.609
flame. Oh, yeah. Even though I can't speak. For

01:13:57.609 --> 01:14:00.149
$10, donors can have their ex's name written

01:14:00.149 --> 01:14:06.189
on a paper and placed in a litter box. Well,

01:14:06.369 --> 01:14:08.510
where it can't, we'll promptly probably take

01:14:08.510 --> 01:14:11.250
a dump and pee all over it. That's pretty cool.

01:14:11.579 --> 01:14:13.520
Yeah, and it also does a great deal, too. It's

01:14:13.520 --> 01:14:16.720
a donation to a shelter. Yeah. And I'm sure it

01:14:16.720 --> 01:14:19.159
brings in a lot of revenue. Yeah. And also, they

01:14:19.159 --> 01:14:21.260
probably let you record it on the phone or something.

01:14:21.520 --> 01:14:23.220
You can send it to them or whatever. Send a picture

01:14:23.220 --> 01:14:26.880
of it. Yeah. Send it to whoever, Mr. or Mrs.

01:14:26.939 --> 01:14:32.340
X, somewhere in the world. Oh, I didn't see this.

01:14:32.460 --> 01:14:34.479
And you even get a photo with the Derby D. Oh,

01:14:34.640 --> 01:14:38.039
excellent. Yeah. Now, I can see a good spin -off

01:14:38.039 --> 01:14:41.720
of this is like an organization that you write

01:14:41.720 --> 01:14:45.359
in and make like a $75 donation, and they will

01:14:45.359 --> 01:14:48.100
go spay or neuter the celebrity of your choice.

01:14:50.500 --> 01:14:52.880
That would be pretty close to all of them, but

01:14:52.880 --> 01:14:57.439
yes. Yeah, pretty much all of them. I think I'd

01:14:57.439 --> 01:15:00.340
probably bankrupt myself paying for things like

01:15:00.340 --> 01:15:03.579
that. There's a bunch of people I would pay to

01:15:03.579 --> 01:15:11.560
have that done. Yeah, me too. If Ozzy Osbourne

01:15:11.560 --> 01:15:14.979
came back to life today and looked at his daughter

01:15:14.979 --> 01:15:16.659
Kelly, do you think he would tell her to eat

01:15:16.659 --> 01:15:19.960
a cheeseburger? Yes. Eat a fucking cheeseburger.

01:15:26.020 --> 01:15:30.140
It's sad that... I'm not making fun of you. No,

01:15:30.239 --> 01:15:35.119
no. I think it's pretty... It's plain that Kelly

01:15:35.119 --> 01:15:37.399
Osbourne is suffering an enormous amount of grief

01:15:37.399 --> 01:15:40.380
and she's harming herself as part of that grief

01:15:40.380 --> 01:15:42.720
process. But the fact that no one's stepping

01:15:42.720 --> 01:15:45.020
in and instead taking pictures and glorifying

01:15:45.020 --> 01:15:47.960
it is kind of sickening. No, there is backlash

01:15:47.960 --> 01:15:49.340
on the internet. I hope so. There's a lot of

01:15:49.340 --> 01:15:51.600
backlash. People are saying that she looks very

01:15:51.600 --> 01:15:53.180
sickly and they think there's something wrong

01:15:53.180 --> 01:15:59.279
with her. Yeah. People blame that and her mom's

01:15:59.279 --> 01:16:03.109
sudden weight loss on Osempion. Supposedly they're

01:16:03.109 --> 01:16:05.949
on Ozempic. That sounds like a cover story to

01:16:05.949 --> 01:16:09.510
me. Yeah. Because Ozempic doesn't make you look

01:16:09.510 --> 01:16:13.270
that skeletal. And it also doesn't explain the

01:16:13.270 --> 01:16:15.770
height difference. Exactly. Because there's a

01:16:15.770 --> 01:16:17.850
picture of Kelly and Sharon standing next to

01:16:17.850 --> 01:16:19.630
each other. And then there's another one and

01:16:19.630 --> 01:16:22.310
they're a lot closer to the same height. And

01:16:22.310 --> 01:16:26.149
they seem to be wearing the same shoes. Did somebody

01:16:26.149 --> 01:16:29.069
shrink or did somebody grow taller? I wondered

01:16:29.069 --> 01:16:31.789
that too. That's noticeable. Another thing is

01:16:31.789 --> 01:16:34.189
her brother Jack has a lot of health issues.

01:16:34.550 --> 01:16:38.470
He has MS and has heart problems. Her mom had

01:16:38.470 --> 01:16:40.729
cancer twice and some other ailments, and her

01:16:40.729 --> 01:16:44.329
dad had Parkinson's and all kinds of stuff. So

01:16:44.329 --> 01:16:46.590
very well could be some health conditions, and

01:16:46.590 --> 01:16:49.710
maybe they don't want to talk about it. I don't

01:16:49.710 --> 01:16:51.949
know. And, you know, I'm okay if they don't want

01:16:51.949 --> 01:16:54.829
to talk about it, but don't tell me a lie. Just

01:16:54.829 --> 01:16:56.329
tell me you're not going to tell me anything.

01:16:56.449 --> 01:16:58.829
Don't come out and tell me a lie. The other thing

01:16:58.829 --> 01:17:00.729
that's really suspicious about the weight loss

01:17:00.729 --> 01:17:03.970
is she just had a baby. Traditionally, she should

01:17:03.970 --> 01:17:05.850
have had a little bit more weight left on her.

01:17:06.069 --> 01:17:08.029
Yeah, it usually takes a little longer to take

01:17:08.029 --> 01:17:14.850
that off. I like her. I hope she's okay. I never

01:17:14.850 --> 01:17:16.970
really enjoyed the character she played on TV.

01:17:17.949 --> 01:17:21.869
She made a point of being the obnoxious bratty

01:17:21.869 --> 01:17:25.479
sister. and being a pain in the ass a lot. And

01:17:25.479 --> 01:17:27.800
that was the role she was playing on the TV show,

01:17:27.920 --> 01:17:30.039
and I never really cared for that. But I have

01:17:30.039 --> 01:17:33.739
no idea what she's like in real life. I think

01:17:33.739 --> 01:17:35.640
that she's a pretty decent person. I think a

01:17:35.640 --> 01:17:37.800
lot of that was because that's what they directed

01:17:37.800 --> 01:17:40.779
them to do. Yeah, I'm sure. I could be wrong,

01:17:40.779 --> 01:17:44.520
though. I don't know her for real. But I always

01:17:44.520 --> 01:17:49.100
kind of thought of her as... A decent person

01:17:49.100 --> 01:17:51.960
that puts on a persona. Yeah. And the way that

01:17:51.960 --> 01:17:53.979
Jack and Ozzy were both looking at her like,

01:17:54.100 --> 01:17:55.840
you know, eh, no big deal. This has just been

01:17:55.840 --> 01:17:58.199
a funny. It made me think that they were in on

01:17:58.199 --> 01:18:00.659
the joke and that Kelly was just playing the

01:18:00.659 --> 01:18:02.939
part. That's the way I took it. Yeah. I could

01:18:02.939 --> 01:18:04.680
be totally wrong, but that's the way I took it.

01:18:04.680 --> 01:18:09.720
So, I don't know. You know. Um, okay. I got some

01:18:09.720 --> 01:18:12.199
short stories if you want to go into it. Okay.

01:18:13.319 --> 01:18:15.420
15 -year -olds aren't known for their excellent

01:18:15.420 --> 01:18:17.819
judgment, but this kid's antics were on another

01:18:17.819 --> 01:18:21.720
level. On November 24th in Jerusalem, firefighters

01:18:21.720 --> 01:18:25.340
were called to a 36 -story skyscraper with a

01:18:25.340 --> 01:18:28.579
crane on top and a 15 -year -old boy on top of

01:18:28.579 --> 01:18:32.579
the crane. Talk about a daredevil. Yeah. The

01:18:32.579 --> 01:18:35.319
teenager was trapped on a small platform above

01:18:35.319 --> 01:18:38.960
the building. The kid told rescue teams he had

01:18:38.960 --> 01:18:42.380
sealed the crane around midnight to see the view.

01:18:44.780 --> 01:18:48.359
Oh, not sealed. Okay, my printer again. Scaled.

01:18:48.539 --> 01:18:50.899
Yeah, I'm like going sealed. That doesn't make

01:18:50.899 --> 01:18:53.859
sense. Scaled the crane about midnight to see

01:18:53.859 --> 01:18:57.600
the view. The Associated Press reported fire

01:18:57.600 --> 01:19:05.630
official E .I. Cohen. Israel name, so anyhow,

01:19:06.029 --> 01:19:09.069
something like that. They've responded to a number

01:19:09.069 --> 01:19:11.449
of cases of young people scaling large buildings.

01:19:11.829 --> 01:19:15.770
This is a serious incident that could have ended

01:19:15.770 --> 01:19:18.550
badly. Oh, yeah. Yeah, Cohen said, and I agree.

01:19:19.390 --> 01:19:21.449
But, you know, when we're young, we do stupid

01:19:21.449 --> 01:19:23.470
shit like that. Oh, yeah. And especially stuff

01:19:23.470 --> 01:19:25.729
that you think you can pull off. Yes. Like, you're

01:19:25.729 --> 01:19:28.449
like, okay, go ahead and line up three more bikes,

01:19:28.609 --> 01:19:32.350
and I'm going to jump on them. Famous last words.

01:19:32.780 --> 01:19:37.859
Yeah. Yeah. Hey, watch this. Yeah. Yeah. You

01:19:37.859 --> 01:19:41.039
know, we're notorious for misjudging, miscalculating

01:19:41.039 --> 01:19:43.760
stuff like that. Yeah. At a certain age, you

01:19:43.760 --> 01:19:45.699
know you can get hurt. You just don't think it's

01:19:45.699 --> 01:19:48.899
going to happen. Yeah. You see your friends getting

01:19:48.899 --> 01:19:51.380
hurt. You know kids can get hurt. You just think,

01:19:51.380 --> 01:19:53.079
yeah, it's not going to happen to me. At that

01:19:53.079 --> 01:19:55.600
age, traditionally, mortality is not an issue.

01:19:55.760 --> 01:19:58.399
Yeah. You don't even begin to think about that

01:19:58.399 --> 01:20:00.319
because it's so far off and the days are going

01:20:00.319 --> 01:20:03.760
slow. Not like nowadays where you blink your

01:20:03.760 --> 01:20:07.140
eye and it's like, shit. It's like, where did

01:20:07.140 --> 01:20:11.340
yesterday go? You're already a quarter past this

01:20:11.340 --> 01:20:17.180
year. That's weird. It is. In northern China,

01:20:17.279 --> 01:20:19.260
this is a different story. In northern China,

01:20:19.340 --> 01:20:22.479
an unidentified 23 -year -old man... was the

01:20:22.479 --> 01:20:25.880
victor in a lying flat contest, so he's planking.

01:20:26.000 --> 01:20:31.060
Oh, okay. The South China Morning Post reported,

01:20:31.359 --> 01:20:34.279
the contest at a shopping mall on November 15th

01:20:34.279 --> 01:20:36.859
started out with about 240 people lying flat

01:20:36.859 --> 01:20:40.840
on mattresses. These people have a lot of time.

01:20:41.039 --> 01:20:44.020
Yeah, I guess. They must be paid protesters.

01:20:44.359 --> 01:20:46.920
Oh, they have nothing else to do in the meantime.

01:20:47.100 --> 01:20:49.600
There you go. Must not have been any protests

01:20:49.600 --> 01:20:56.569
going on. So 186 of them had to quit within 24

01:20:56.569 --> 01:20:59.909
hours. After 33 hours and 9 minutes, just three

01:20:59.909 --> 01:21:03.369
contestants were left. And organizers upped the

01:21:03.369 --> 01:21:05.409
competition by asking them to raise their arms

01:21:05.409 --> 01:21:07.550
and legs. They're going to get this thing over

01:21:07.550 --> 01:21:11.489
with quick. Yeah. So the guy said that, one,

01:21:11.569 --> 01:21:13.189
he said, my girlfriend sent me a link to the

01:21:13.189 --> 01:21:15.909
competition and suggested I have to have a go.

01:21:16.010 --> 01:21:21.529
The winner said. His prize was about $420. He

01:21:21.529 --> 01:21:25.649
said he was going to treat many friends to a

01:21:25.649 --> 01:21:29.109
hot pot dinner. Oh, wait a minute. He got ripped

01:21:29.109 --> 01:21:32.609
off. Yeah. You could have made a lot more. Damn,

01:21:32.750 --> 01:21:35.890
there must not be much else to do. I guess not.

01:21:36.149 --> 01:21:38.649
You spend a day and a half doing bad and you

01:21:38.649 --> 01:21:46.960
get $400 out of it. Yeah. Authorities in Flagler

01:21:46.960 --> 01:21:49.439
County, Florida are trying to solve the mystery

01:21:49.439 --> 01:21:53.880
behind some suspicious incidents. No. Click Orlando

01:21:53.880 --> 01:21:57.880
reported between November 12th and 17th, in seven

01:21:57.880 --> 01:22:01.340
separate circumstances, a masked man was captured

01:22:01.340 --> 01:22:03.539
on surveillance video leaving a piece of wood

01:22:03.539 --> 01:22:06.420
and a dollar bill on front porches of homes.

01:22:07.359 --> 01:22:12.500
Interesting. Yeah. One family received two different

01:22:12.500 --> 01:22:15.039
deliveries, so the second one had writing on

01:22:15.039 --> 01:22:18.359
the wood. The Midnight Stalker is coming for

01:22:18.359 --> 01:22:25.399
Palm Coast, is what it read. Okay. I'm not sure

01:22:25.399 --> 01:22:28.899
what Palm Coast is. I don't know either. The

01:22:28.899 --> 01:22:33.579
person was caught, and he faces charges of trespassing,

01:22:33.600 --> 01:22:36.699
loitering, and prowling, and littering. But they

01:22:36.699 --> 01:22:38.180
couldn't get him on anything else because that

01:22:38.180 --> 01:22:41.159
wasn't exactly a threat. And they still don't

01:22:41.159 --> 01:22:43.260
know what it's about because the guy didn't really

01:22:43.260 --> 01:22:47.020
tip his hand on what he meant. I'm not even sure

01:22:47.020 --> 01:22:51.359
if he knew. He might not. Interesting. Prowling

01:22:51.359 --> 01:22:54.140
is a crime that you can be charged with. I didn't

01:22:54.140 --> 01:22:56.899
know that. I didn't either. But that's good to

01:22:56.899 --> 01:22:58.640
know. I mean, you know, they have all these little

01:22:58.640 --> 01:23:02.520
auxiliary crimes to get stuff like that. Yeah.

01:23:04.829 --> 01:23:07.229
You know, where you don't really have a category.

01:23:07.289 --> 01:23:08.789
It's like, well, hang on, hang on, let's look

01:23:08.789 --> 01:23:10.750
around. Oh! We've got to charge them with something.

01:23:11.029 --> 01:23:14.710
Yeah. That's just like there's the malingering

01:23:14.710 --> 01:23:17.729
one. They can get you for just malingering and

01:23:17.729 --> 01:23:22.550
not leaving, just hanging out. Yeah. You got

01:23:22.550 --> 01:23:25.010
something? I thought I'd go into the story about

01:23:25.010 --> 01:23:30.819
45 RPM technology. Oh, good. They don't make

01:23:30.819 --> 01:23:33.439
the 45 RPM singles anymore, as far as I know,

01:23:33.560 --> 01:23:36.279
but that used to be a big part of daily life

01:23:36.279 --> 01:23:37.699
and weekly life. They never brought those back,

01:23:37.859 --> 01:23:39.199
did they? No, they really didn't. They brought

01:23:39.199 --> 01:23:40.659
everything else back, but not those, not the

01:23:40.659 --> 01:23:43.300
45s. It turns out there's a lot that's different

01:23:43.300 --> 01:23:47.039
about them as opposed to other formats. Could

01:23:47.039 --> 01:23:48.560
that be why they don't bring them back, maybe?

01:23:48.739 --> 01:23:52.680
Seems like it. Okay. It was introduced by RCA

01:23:52.680 --> 01:23:57.039
Victor, who created it in 1949. And it features

01:23:57.039 --> 01:23:59.840
a 7 -inch vinyl record designed for high -fidelity

01:23:59.840 --> 01:24:02.640
audio featuring a 1 .5 -inch large center hole

01:24:02.640 --> 01:24:07.600
and a raised center hub so you can stack discs

01:24:07.600 --> 01:24:11.279
without scratching. These records, often called

01:24:11.279 --> 01:24:13.739
singles, spin faster for better sound quality

01:24:13.739 --> 01:24:17.960
with a 1 .5 to 1 ratio of outer to inner groove

01:24:17.960 --> 01:24:21.319
velocity. Now, that makes a difference. Like,

01:24:21.420 --> 01:24:24.199
you know, when you're in the outer groove, you're

01:24:24.199 --> 01:24:27.159
going faster. Because when revolution, you've

01:24:27.159 --> 01:24:30.899
got to make it around the whole 7 -inch. When

01:24:30.899 --> 01:24:33.939
you're in the inner grooves, you're not going

01:24:33.939 --> 01:24:35.840
around as fast because it has a shorter distance

01:24:35.840 --> 01:24:38.199
to go. The whole disc is still moving at 45 RPM,

01:24:38.359 --> 01:24:40.760
but the velocity of the needle in the groove

01:24:40.760 --> 01:24:47.680
goes down. With 33 and a third RPM, it goes down

01:24:47.680 --> 01:24:50.380
by a much larger percentage. So they have to

01:24:50.380 --> 01:24:53.020
take that into account when they're mixing the

01:24:53.020 --> 01:24:58.840
audio. creating the playback. It started out,

01:24:58.880 --> 01:25:02.600
all 45s started out as mono, but by 1971, almost

01:25:02.600 --> 01:25:07.180
all were stereo. I remember getting a box full

01:25:07.180 --> 01:25:14.920
of 45s and album size from KY -102 to use in

01:25:14.920 --> 01:25:17.319
the college radio station. And a lot of those

01:25:17.319 --> 01:25:20.600
45s were stereo on one side and mono on the other

01:25:20.600 --> 01:25:23.359
side, just in case you still needed a mono signal.

01:25:24.350 --> 01:25:27.369
And then the others were, like, there was one

01:25:27.369 --> 01:25:30.590
Rolling Stones song where on the A side they

01:25:30.590 --> 01:25:33.050
edited out the word damn, and on the B side they

01:25:33.050 --> 01:25:36.569
left in the word damn. So it gave me the option.

01:25:36.750 --> 01:25:38.970
That's cool. Now, some of the key components

01:25:38.970 --> 01:25:43.810
of the technology is the audio quality. It is

01:25:43.810 --> 01:25:47.050
a higher speed, but this allows for more audio

01:25:47.050 --> 01:25:49.890
information to be stored in the groove, resulting

01:25:49.890 --> 01:25:52.130
in better treble and a tighter bass compared

01:25:52.130 --> 01:25:55.770
to a 33 and a third. Because you think about

01:25:55.770 --> 01:25:59.930
writing on a page, and you have to cram like

01:25:59.930 --> 01:26:02.710
five sentences into one line, it's going to be

01:26:02.710 --> 01:26:05.850
hard to read. But if you can write those five

01:26:05.850 --> 01:26:08.710
sentences on six lines, you have a lot more space,

01:26:08.750 --> 01:26:10.829
it's easier to read. It's kind of the same way

01:26:10.829 --> 01:26:14.310
it works on the albums. They compared it to the

01:26:14.310 --> 01:26:18.510
higher sample rates in digital audio. They usually

01:26:18.510 --> 01:26:21.789
used vinylite, but sometimes they used cheaper

01:26:21.789 --> 01:26:24.619
and less rigid polystyrene. for the material.

01:26:26.399 --> 01:26:29.920
The large center hole, the one and a half inch

01:26:29.920 --> 01:26:33.020
center hole, was designed for quick and easy

01:26:33.020 --> 01:26:35.619
putting it on the turntable for like radio stations.

01:26:35.880 --> 01:26:38.220
It was like this big giant hole, it's easy to

01:26:38.220 --> 01:26:41.539
hit, it's a little tiny hole on 33s. But then

01:26:41.539 --> 01:26:43.560
you had to have the little adapters to put in,

01:26:43.579 --> 01:26:48.420
usually called a spider. One of the biggest differences

01:26:48.420 --> 01:26:54.989
was in the playback equipment. And on the playback

01:26:54.989 --> 01:26:57.649
equipment, the .45s were designed to be played

01:26:57.649 --> 01:27:01.449
with a lightweight stylus and frequently a ceramic

01:27:01.449 --> 01:27:04.510
cartridge. Now that didn't always happen, so

01:27:04.510 --> 01:27:07.229
you didn't always get the right sound out of

01:27:07.229 --> 01:27:10.170
it that you're expecting. The initial designs

01:27:10.170 --> 01:27:13.989
were to replace .78s. The .45s became the standard

01:27:13.989 --> 01:27:17.609
for singles in the 50s and 60s. The needle velocity

01:27:17.609 --> 01:27:21.140
is a lot more consistent. There we go. Okay.

01:27:21.600 --> 01:27:26.220
And most 45s were mixed to be much louder than

01:27:26.220 --> 01:27:28.920
albums were. So that's why you put the single

01:27:28.920 --> 01:27:31.340
on, it was like totally in your face because

01:27:31.340 --> 01:27:33.880
it was supposed to be. Oh, okay. That makes sense.

01:27:34.479 --> 01:27:38.420
Now, oddly enough, 45 RPMs were designed to be

01:27:38.420 --> 01:27:42.140
played on a dedicated turntable. Okay. Because

01:27:42.140 --> 01:27:46.960
you put it on a regular turntable that's 12 inches

01:27:46.960 --> 01:27:50.149
across. then by the time you reach into the beginning

01:27:50.149 --> 01:27:52.670
of the album, that tonearm is already pivoting

01:27:52.670 --> 01:27:56.470
quite a bit. And it tracks you differently. And

01:27:56.470 --> 01:27:58.930
the song will sound different. But if you have

01:27:58.930 --> 01:28:02.729
a turntable that's only big enough for a single,

01:28:02.930 --> 01:28:05.630
the tonearm tracks differently, it'll sound a

01:28:05.630 --> 01:28:08.590
lot better. But most radio stations didn't even

01:28:08.590 --> 01:28:12.680
bother, so we never heard it. They were also

01:28:12.680 --> 01:28:16.119
designed to be played strictly with ceramic cartridges

01:28:16.119 --> 01:28:18.880
to properly equalize the sound. And since they

01:28:18.880 --> 01:28:22.739
were mostly used with magnetic cartridges, the

01:28:22.739 --> 01:28:24.880
audio quality wasn't nearly what it should have

01:28:24.880 --> 01:28:27.840
been. And it sounded off from the way they intended.

01:28:27.979 --> 01:28:29.840
That's why you get the album and it's like, oh,

01:28:29.859 --> 01:28:32.619
this sounds different from the 45. Because it's

01:28:32.619 --> 01:28:37.479
being played on the proper equipment. And let's

01:28:37.479 --> 01:28:44.500
see. The first ever 45 single released was Texarkana

01:28:44.500 --> 01:28:48.460
Baby by Eddie Arnold. Oh, wow. That started it

01:28:48.460 --> 01:28:52.239
all. Wow. In 1949. In 49. Okay, I was wondering

01:28:52.239 --> 01:28:55.880
when it came out. But I think in order to revive

01:28:55.880 --> 01:28:59.399
that technology now, you really would need a

01:28:59.399 --> 01:29:02.920
dedicated turntable. Yeah. specifically with

01:29:02.920 --> 01:29:05.579
a ceramic cartridge, which isn't easy to find.

01:29:05.880 --> 01:29:08.119
That's why they never did do those. I mean, they

01:29:08.119 --> 01:29:10.399
do albums now, but those are relatively easy.

01:29:10.539 --> 01:29:13.800
You just put them on a player. Yeah, it really

01:29:13.800 --> 01:29:15.680
seems like the whole technology was designed

01:29:15.680 --> 01:29:18.479
to be quick and easy and cheap, so it would appeal

01:29:18.479 --> 01:29:20.659
to radio stations and dance clubs and things

01:29:20.659 --> 01:29:24.340
like that. So the music was mixed to be specifically

01:29:24.340 --> 01:29:26.399
played on that equipment that was quick and easy

01:29:26.399 --> 01:29:28.859
and cheap. Now you play it on high -end, high

01:29:28.859 --> 01:29:30.380
-fidelity equipment, it's just going to sound

01:29:30.380 --> 01:29:36.220
wrong. Yeah, I get it. Interesting. I wish I

01:29:36.220 --> 01:29:39.800
still had my 45s. I think I have a few. Oh, I

01:29:39.800 --> 01:29:42.319
love those. But there's a bunch of them that

01:29:42.319 --> 01:29:44.579
I just trashed because I didn't like them anymore.

01:29:44.659 --> 01:29:47.039
I just threw them away. I did that too. I know

01:29:47.039 --> 01:29:49.439
what you mean. Yeah. Well, it would be nice to

01:29:49.439 --> 01:29:51.779
look through them now, wouldn't it? Yeah. And

01:29:51.779 --> 01:29:53.699
when we do the music creeps, I've got a list

01:29:53.699 --> 01:29:56.939
of 45 singles where the B -side was more popular

01:29:56.939 --> 01:29:59.989
than the A -side. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:30:00.069 --> 01:30:02.010
All right. You've got to wait around to the second

01:30:02.010 --> 01:30:04.409
podcast to hear that one. I've got some cool

01:30:04.409 --> 01:30:06.170
stuff for the next one, but I've got one right

01:30:06.170 --> 01:30:08.229
here that's interesting. Sure. If you're done.

01:30:08.409 --> 01:30:13.229
Yep. All right. Gregory Saxton, 35, of New Virginia,

01:30:13.449 --> 01:30:16.630
Iowa, interviewed for a deputy position with

01:30:16.630 --> 01:30:19.649
the Warren County Sheriff's Department, which

01:30:19.649 --> 01:30:23.069
included a pre -employment polygraph screening.

01:30:23.989 --> 01:30:27.369
KCRG -TV reported on February 23rd. During the

01:30:27.369 --> 01:30:29.550
screening, Saxton admitted that he had viewed

01:30:29.550 --> 01:30:33.649
child pornography. Wow. Yes, on the dark web.

01:30:34.369 --> 01:30:38.010
On February 19th, investigators executed a search

01:30:38.010 --> 01:30:40.750
warrant for Saxton's phone, and he was arrested

01:30:40.750 --> 01:30:43.210
at his home in charge of 13 counts of possessing

01:30:43.210 --> 01:30:47.350
child pornography. Wow. You could say he's honest,

01:30:47.529 --> 01:30:50.029
and that's about it. I'm glad he ran it himself

01:30:50.029 --> 01:30:53.789
out, but man, wouldn't it have been better just

01:30:53.789 --> 01:30:56.560
to lie about it, and then they can't... They

01:30:56.560 --> 01:30:59.039
wouldn't have anything they could do? I don't

01:30:59.039 --> 01:31:00.840
know what he was thinking. Was he thinking if

01:31:00.840 --> 01:31:02.939
I tell on myself, if they ever find out it's

01:31:02.939 --> 01:31:06.159
no big deal? Maybe he thought if I admitted it,

01:31:06.199 --> 01:31:10.560
that it won't be a big deal. Yeah. Yeah. I looked

01:31:10.560 --> 01:31:15.300
at it, but it wasn't for me. Yeah. I mean, if

01:31:15.300 --> 01:31:18.560
you're talking about drinking too much or maybe

01:31:18.560 --> 01:31:20.619
swiping a stapler from work, there are a lot

01:31:20.619 --> 01:31:23.279
of employers that will overlook that. Yeah. But

01:31:23.279 --> 01:31:26.460
this type of crime, no. No, that's not something

01:31:26.460 --> 01:31:29.220
you overlook, not even once. No. You ever do

01:31:29.220 --> 01:31:31.180
that, and you're on the list forever, and that's

01:31:31.180 --> 01:31:34.359
just the way it is. Yeah, kind of not a very

01:31:34.359 --> 01:31:38.039
smart thing. See, when I was 12, I put my little

01:31:38.039 --> 01:31:39.960
brother in the crock pot, and we ate him for

01:31:39.960 --> 01:31:41.939
dinner. But I only did it that one time. Yeah,

01:31:41.939 --> 01:31:44.739
I learned my lesson. I never did it again, and

01:31:44.739 --> 01:31:49.180
I'm very sorry about it, too. Well, as I said,

01:31:49.300 --> 01:31:53.159
I'm glad you ratted himself out. I am, too. I

01:31:53.159 --> 01:31:54.979
got a couple more small stories and then we can

01:31:54.979 --> 01:31:58.180
end this. How long have we got? Hour and 22.

01:31:58.420 --> 01:32:01.680
Okay. Routers reported February 24th that during

01:32:01.680 --> 01:32:04.439
the first half of a football match in Turkey,

01:32:04.640 --> 01:32:07.659
a ball kicked high into the air, struck a seagull

01:32:07.659 --> 01:32:10.340
that happened to be flying by. Oh, wow. It knocked

01:32:10.340 --> 01:32:13.100
it to the ground. The Istanbul team, Captain

01:32:13.100 --> 01:32:16.520
John at Catan, rushed to the fallen bird to begin

01:32:16.520 --> 01:32:20.000
CPR on its little chest. Oh. Which worked. Oh,

01:32:20.060 --> 01:32:23.869
cool. The goal began to move, and Catan took

01:32:23.869 --> 01:32:26.710
it to the medical staff on the sideline for further

01:32:26.710 --> 01:32:29.470
care. While his team lost the match, Catan said

01:32:29.470 --> 01:32:31.710
no regrets. I hope it saved a life is a good

01:32:31.710 --> 01:32:34.010
thing, he said. This was more important than

01:32:34.010 --> 01:32:37.210
the championship. Yeah. Wow. You don't hear that

01:32:37.210 --> 01:32:41.569
often. No, no. Conversely, if you Google or do

01:32:41.569 --> 01:32:44.390
a YouTube search, there is video of a Major League

01:32:44.390 --> 01:32:48.010
Baseball game where Seagulls were flying in as

01:32:48.010 --> 01:32:52.029
the game was progressing towards night. and there

01:32:52.029 --> 01:32:54.329
was a pitch, and the batter hit the ball, and

01:32:54.329 --> 01:32:56.649
it went about 20 feet and destroyed the bird.

01:32:56.909 --> 01:32:59.550
Oh, I saw, yeah. It just explodes into feathers.

01:33:00.090 --> 01:33:03.270
Randy Johnson. I think that was it, yeah. So,

01:33:03.430 --> 01:33:09.649
bam. Randy Johnson threw 102, 103. Yeah. It exploded

01:33:09.649 --> 01:33:11.630
the per thing. Per guy was just in the wrong

01:33:11.630 --> 01:33:15.729
place at the wrong time. Yep. Got him. Yeah.

01:33:16.050 --> 01:33:18.630
All right, you all go ahead and go into the music,

01:33:18.670 --> 01:33:21.329
creeps. Let's do it. Okay, everybody, thank you

01:33:21.329 --> 01:33:23.189
for listening. We really appreciate it. You guys

01:33:23.189 --> 01:33:26.029
are spreading the word. I mean, we can't thank

01:33:26.029 --> 01:33:28.289
you enough. I mean, it's just amazing the stuff

01:33:28.289 --> 01:33:30.449
that you're doing and all the listenership and

01:33:30.449 --> 01:33:32.989
all the great comments we get, even the shitty

01:33:32.989 --> 01:33:35.329
ones. We love them all. You can email them. We

01:33:35.329 --> 01:33:38.050
appreciate it. Thank you very much, like I said,

01:33:38.109 --> 01:33:39.010
and go fuck yourself.