WEBVTT

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Well, well, well. We see you made it back. That's

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right. It's time for your favorite podcast, Two

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Douchebags and a Microphone, live from the historic

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river market in downtown Kansas City, Missouri,

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but only on Tuesdays and sometimes Wednesdays.

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Otherwise, you get live from the Duck Wine Studio

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in Wheatland, Missouri, and the Talk is Cheap

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studio from Extreme Southern Tent for the Kansas

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City Metroplex and the surrounding areas. Let's

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grab a seat and see what kind of garbage they

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throw at us today. Enjoy. Welcome again. We're

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happy you chose us. Come on in. Wash yourself

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off. Would you enjoy a bourbon and coke? There's

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a liquor store down the road. If you go, I need

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rolling papers. Well, since you're here, let's

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get this daily douchebag pledge out of the way.

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All right, bitches, swing your hips and pelvic

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thrust. Shout it out with me. I, Joe or Jane

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Listener, promise to download every podcast.

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I, Joe or Jane Listener, promise to make all

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friends, family members and workmates download

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this show. I, Joe or Jane Listener, promise to

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grab idle computers, work computers, friends

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computers, community computers and other assorted

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phones and listening devices and download the

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show from there. I, Joe or Jane Listener, will

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download the show. and constantly barrage everyone

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with show name and platforms. I, Joe or Jane

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Listener, promise to wear a chicken costume and

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scream the show's name from my front yard. And

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finally, because of our 13 -year -old boy humor,

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we must go to Knobloch Cooter Licking in Uranus,

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Missouri to take selfies with the signs. If you

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go to Uranus, go to the fudge factory. Yes, there's

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a fudge factory in Uranus. No joke. Here at Two

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Douchebags and a Microphone, we don't stand behind

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our journalistic integrity. Go ahead and assume

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we got the story wrong. At least we admit it.

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Not like all those other guys, we can and will

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lie if it makes the story better. Two douchebags

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and a microphone? We appreciate you taking the

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time to listen and share your opinion. Our podcast

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isn't meant to appeal to everyone, and that's

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okay. We focus on honest conversation, humor,

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and perspective, even when it's rough around

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the edges. Constructive criticism is always welcome,

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but dismissing something just because it isn't

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your style doesn't really reflect its value to

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the people. who do enjoy it. We're proud of what

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we're building, and we'll keep refining it as

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we go. Once again, it's time for Ramblings of

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a Madman. I believe Congress needs to synchronize

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tap dance for 20 minutes before each session.

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That needs to happen. Your mama's so ugly, your

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dad takes her to work every day so he doesn't

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have to kiss her goodbye. Two douchebags, a microphone,

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and an effort to keep everything fresh. We offer

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you first world problems. Damn it. I can't decide

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between nachos, chili, or wings for the game

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tonight. This is bullshit. I should not have

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to make decisions like this. Hey there, fuckstick.

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You're just in time for brand new feature news

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nobody gives a shit about. An 80 -year -old Bulgarian

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man has the record for the longest nose hair

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ever at three feet. And now, Deep Thoughts with

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Mark. Hmm, let's see. If I identify as a dog...

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and I start wandering around the block without

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a collar on, could animal control come by and

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pick me up? I may never know. Two douchebags

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and microphone. I am Mark, here in the Kansas

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City vicinity at the extreme southern tip of...

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at the Talk is Cheap studio. And I am Rob in

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Wheatland, Missouri, home of the magnificent

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Lucas Oil Speedway and Water Track, and also

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home of the Hickam Oak Country Store, where you

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can find all your needs, including a selfie with

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the green Sinclair dinosaur with a huge penis

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in the Doug Boyd studio. Dude, I've really got...

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I am Tober, and I'm coming to you live from the

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Paisley Possum Studios just south of historic

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Waldo, Missouri, where the coffee is hot and

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available 24 hours a day. The space heater is

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on, and the laundry is almost done. Just one

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more load to go in the dryer. Oh, shit, yeah.

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Congratulations. You're doing better. Well, I

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work today, so I kind of, well, I got some done

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around the house, too, afterwards, so I can't

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complain too much. Okay, first I'd like to start

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off, I'm sorry. The last episode, I gave the

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wind an ass -paddling. Well, I guess Mother Nature

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took offense to that, too. I've got to shut my

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mouth about this stuff. I gave the wind an ass

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-paddling, so this time it was only one tornado,

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but still. Retaliation from the mother. I hereby

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swear I will never mention anything weather -related

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again. Lesson learned. Sorry, Mother Nature.

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I hope we can be friends again. Can we be friends

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again, Mother Nature? I hope so. Because I heard

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you and your lovely bride had to take to the

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basement because that tornado was pretty fucking

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close to you guys. Yeah, we headed downstairs

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and took a little dog with us. I think we're

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down there for about 30, 45 minutes at the most,

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and it's all done. Okay, well, I'm sorry I caused

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that. I will never mouth off about Mother Nature

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again. Evidently, she is still... Yes, yes, go

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ahead, Rob. Go ahead, chastise me. We've had

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this talk before. I know we have. This time,

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I mean it, Rob, okay? I'm different. I've changed.

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got to apologize to. Topher, I'm sorry. It won't

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happen again. No, it worked out okay. I'm glad

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it did. The tornado, although small in stature,

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was on the ground for eight miles from Shawnee

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to Westport, which is kind of remarkable for

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a spin -up. Yeah, I remember they said in the

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coverage they said they were expecting it to

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kind of hop around, touch down here and there,

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but we got our money's worth, didn't we? Yeah,

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we did. Yeah, that little spin -up was a little

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bastard, wasn't it? It was like, no, no, no,

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no, no, guys, leave me alone. I know what I'm

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doing. I know I'm not a big tornado, but hey,

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just let me do my thing, all right? It was one

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of those little tornadoes that was born on the

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wrong side of the cloud. Yeah. It had like a

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small inferiority complex. Yeah. So, yeah, it

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was diminutive, and it was like, I'm going to

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tear up a bunch of shit like you big tornadoes.

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You guys watch this. And it didn't even tip over

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a car. All the big ones were like, okay, little

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guy. All right, thanks a lot. Get on out of here.

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Here comes Mr. EF5. Gave him a participation

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trophy and sent him home. Yeah, gave him a little

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pat on the ass, said good boy. You knocked some

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power out in a couple of branches. We're proud

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of you. Keep going, little guy. Keep going, little

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fella. That's right. There was some power outages.

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I was glad our power stayed. Yeah, I was too.

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It was going to be awfully dark if the lights

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went out. Yeah, it would have. Down there, oh,

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that sucks. In two hours away, all we got was

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some rain and lightning. Consider yourself fortunate,

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because a lot of places did not get that. Well,

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the new show with all three of us, I'm going

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to start calling it the Douchebag Gangbang. What

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do you think? That works. Yeah. I like it. I

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do, too. It's nice and rude and raw, and it's

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something people expect from us. So, I think.

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So, this means I've got to go back to the drawing

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board and come up with another intro. But that's

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all right. It'll be worth it. Yeah. So far, I've

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heard nothing but good about the show, guys.

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I've heard... Good, good. I mean, I can't say

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them all because, I mean, it would be boring,

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okay? I mean, that's why I'm not getting on there

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going... And Phil says, we kick ass. And Jimmy

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says, you guys are doing really good. Keep it

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up. I mean... You know, that doesn't make any

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type of, you know, so. Yeah, I'm good with the

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summary. That's fine with me. Yeah, thank you.

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So everybody that wrote in, thank you. We're

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going to keep doing this, and we're getting better

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at it. We're still figuring out the format and

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the structure, but I think we're pretty close.

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What do you think, guys? Yeah, I think we're

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done. Yeah, I do, too. I really do. Yeah, I'm

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really. Man, when I listen back to this, I'm

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like, geez. There's stuff that we all say in

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little quips that are funnier than hell that

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we don't catch while we're doing it. Yep. I guarantee

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you we don't ever finish all my script. No, we

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don't do mine either. That's for sure. We go

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everywhere with the three of us. Oh, my God.

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Rob gets those stories that all of a sudden just

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brings all this conversation out. It's funny.

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Like the booty booty. Maybe I'll have one of

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them tonight. Like the booty bandit. Yeah, I

00:11:02.889 --> 00:11:06.230
may or may not have one tonight. Oh, did you

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pick up on the one in Springfield, the fruity

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pebble, the fruity pebble bandit? Yes, that's

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one of mine tonight. Oh, good, good, good, good,

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good, good. All right, that one is fucking awesome.

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I can't wait for you to tell that. All right,

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so recently Etsy, you know Etsy, the online sellers?

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Yeah. They banned certain services on their platform.

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Occultists have been selling evil spells that

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are cast to the buyer's exes. That's wrong. I

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know. The people affected had numerous complaints

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such as being harassed for a lengthy period of

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time. And it didn't say if it was like the occultists

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harassing them or what. But numerous ones said

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they've been harassed for a period of time afterwards.

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And then... They said that they had a bad luck,

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a lot of bad luck after a spell was cast on them,

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and overall not being subject to an occultist.

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So I think I agree with that. You don't want

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an occultist to know your name and all, you know?

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Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So in February, Etsy

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has banned all spells being sold on their website.

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The occultists, however, did not have all their

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services banned, such as love potions, luck.

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and fortune spells, and of course good health

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potions, as well as clairvoyant services, they

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were also spared. So if you want to be wealthy,

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healthy, to be loved, plus talk to your pearl

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grandpappy from beyond, you're still good. Etsy

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is your full service stop for all of that. So

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there you go. I imagine all sorts of algorithms

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would be looking at Etsy for those people. the

00:12:53.149 --> 00:12:56.129
evil spells, and finding all sorts of words and

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phrases that were calling the attention of the

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Department of Homeland Security. Oh, shit. They

00:13:01.250 --> 00:13:02.789
were probably having to deal with the government

00:13:02.789 --> 00:13:05.629
on a daily basis. Like, all right, yesterday

00:13:05.629 --> 00:13:09.649
on your side, we saw the words Trump and beheading

00:13:09.649 --> 00:13:12.470
and nuclear bomb all in the same paragraph, and

00:13:12.470 --> 00:13:17.049
what the hell's going on? They're like, okay,

00:13:17.230 --> 00:13:19.190
go ahead and get on there. What was it, NSA?

00:13:19.950 --> 00:13:22.269
Hey, get the NSA so they can start spying on

00:13:22.269 --> 00:13:25.830
these guys. Yeah. Yeah, they probably already

00:13:25.830 --> 00:13:28.269
did, though, so yeah. Remember, wasn't it the

00:13:28.269 --> 00:13:30.730
NSA that was spying on people and they caught

00:13:30.730 --> 00:13:34.690
them? I'm thinking... Yeah, yeah, that was...

00:13:34.690 --> 00:13:39.789
Okay. Yeah, it was the NSA. Okay. All right,

00:13:39.889 --> 00:13:40.909
a man from California... And that's actually

00:13:40.909 --> 00:13:43.629
the FBI's job, isn't it? That's what I thought.

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That's what the FBI is supposed to do. Yeah,

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that's what everybody thought. Everybody had

00:13:48.830 --> 00:13:51.379
a problem. The FBI's pretty good at it, unless

00:13:51.379 --> 00:13:54.240
it's, you know, something like, you know, eating

00:13:54.240 --> 00:13:57.580
cannibalistic satanic rituals or something like

00:13:57.580 --> 00:14:00.899
that. Then they're not really that good. They're

00:14:00.899 --> 00:14:03.519
not really good at, you know, they might catch

00:14:03.519 --> 00:14:04.940
them, but, you know, it's catch and release,

00:14:05.220 --> 00:14:09.000
right? Yes, yes. Oh, they promised not to do

00:14:09.000 --> 00:14:11.419
it again. Okay, all right, that's fine. All right,

00:14:11.419 --> 00:14:13.659
let them go. Let them go. The bad guy's dead.

00:14:15.120 --> 00:14:19.700
Probably living in Austria with Hitler. Nah,

00:14:19.799 --> 00:14:22.139
Hitler would be, what, 200? Okay, maybe not Hitler.

00:14:22.279 --> 00:14:25.960
But anyhow. Yeah, he'd be pretty ancient by now.

00:14:26.159 --> 00:14:29.039
Yeah, he would. But then again, he probably sacrifices

00:14:29.039 --> 00:14:32.820
animals and children to stay alive. So he might

00:14:32.820 --> 00:14:36.620
be. Who knows? I remember Dave Mustaine saying

00:14:36.620 --> 00:14:39.240
that in the depths of his heroin addiction, he

00:14:39.240 --> 00:14:41.659
would have sold his dog to get another high.

00:14:42.559 --> 00:14:46.240
Yes, that was disturbing too. That was disturbing

00:14:46.240 --> 00:14:48.600
when he said that. And he said that for a fact

00:14:48.600 --> 00:14:50.840
because you know that he had, he just opened

00:14:50.840 --> 00:14:53.379
up a bunch of animal shelters in California.

00:14:54.700 --> 00:14:59.559
Yeah. Yeah, he turned his life around and mega

00:14:59.559 --> 00:15:02.919
props to that guy. I mean, he was into all kinds

00:15:02.919 --> 00:15:05.500
of stuff, heroin, devil worshiping, all kinds

00:15:05.500 --> 00:15:09.419
of really dark stuff. And he pulled himself out.

00:15:09.960 --> 00:15:12.539
And he is actually doing good on this world now.

00:15:12.659 --> 00:15:15.019
So, you know, Dave Mustaine, you're doing a great

00:15:15.019 --> 00:15:18.059
job. Keep it up. And besides that, I always...

00:15:18.059 --> 00:15:21.340
Oh, go ahead, what? I was going to say, it's

00:15:21.340 --> 00:15:24.100
so good that he was able to turn this around

00:15:24.100 --> 00:15:29.340
before the end of his performing career. Yes,

00:15:29.340 --> 00:15:31.480
because he still has clout. He still has power.

00:15:32.100 --> 00:15:37.929
So, yeah. Yeah, I agree with that. And, yeah,

00:15:38.070 --> 00:15:40.470
I've always liked Megadeth better than Metallica

00:15:40.470 --> 00:15:45.070
anyhow, so thank you, Dave. All right. A man

00:15:45.070 --> 00:15:47.610
from California was stopped on I -80 by Nebraska

00:15:47.610 --> 00:15:50.690
Highway Patrol. He was allegedly carrying over

00:15:50.690 --> 00:15:54.970
200 pounds of cocaine. This is a... Yeah, that's

00:15:54.970 --> 00:15:58.009
quite a... Yeah, that guy wasn't fucking around,

00:15:58.149 --> 00:16:00.710
was he? You know, they're holding the cocaine

00:16:00.710 --> 00:16:02.529
over there, and they're like, okay, all right,

00:16:02.570 --> 00:16:03.789
there you go. Hey, wait a minute, wait a minute.

00:16:03.830 --> 00:16:06.750
No, I still have some room in there. Over there?

00:16:06.809 --> 00:16:08.789
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, bring some more. Here, come

00:16:08.789 --> 00:16:11.409
on. Oh, no, no. Here, under the hood. Okay, the

00:16:11.409 --> 00:16:14.950
hubcaps. Does the catalytic converter get hot?

00:16:15.029 --> 00:16:17.889
Yeah. Okay, then don't put it there. I can see.

00:16:20.309 --> 00:16:23.370
So, he was allegedly carrying over 200 pounds

00:16:23.370 --> 00:16:25.710
of cocaine. Like I said, this is the second bust

00:16:25.710 --> 00:16:28.710
in a month in Nebraska with a person from California

00:16:28.710 --> 00:16:31.929
hauling the contraband. I -80 has been a huge

00:16:31.929 --> 00:16:35.049
corridor for transporting illegal drugs eastward.

00:16:35.639 --> 00:16:38.539
The odd thing about this bust was that the loot

00:16:38.539 --> 00:16:42.899
was wrapped in, the Coke was wrapped in paper

00:16:42.899 --> 00:16:47.799
with a children's cartoon emblem on it. The powder

00:16:47.799 --> 00:16:51.460
was wrapped in code name kids next door. The

00:16:51.460 --> 00:16:55.340
man's vehicle was searching. Yeah, evidently

00:16:55.340 --> 00:16:59.500
it aired on the Cartoon Network in the early

00:16:59.500 --> 00:17:29.029
2000s. Yeah. Either way, it's disturbing. Yeah,

00:17:29.029 --> 00:17:34.359
yeah. And then finally here, Billy Corgan has

00:17:34.359 --> 00:17:37.200
recently insisted that he believes rock music

00:17:37.200 --> 00:17:40.339
was taken down by corporate forces. He states

00:17:40.339 --> 00:17:42.759
that one reason was solo artists are easier to

00:17:42.759 --> 00:17:45.980
work with monetarily, musically, and the songs

00:17:45.980 --> 00:17:48.960
tend to be shorter and easier to fit in a Hot

00:17:48.960 --> 00:17:56.180
100 format. I see him saying that. I've been

00:17:56.180 --> 00:17:58.710
watching a lot of his reels lately. Oh, I love

00:17:58.710 --> 00:18:01.670
him. He is really, really spot on. What do you

00:18:01.670 --> 00:18:05.829
think, Topher? Yeah, I can't disagree with anything

00:18:05.829 --> 00:18:09.349
he said. It makes so much sense how just overnight

00:18:09.349 --> 00:18:13.630
they decided to remove rock and roll and go all

00:18:13.630 --> 00:18:17.470
in on rap and hip hop. And there was just no

00:18:17.470 --> 00:18:19.750
turning back ever. And anybody else who tried

00:18:19.750 --> 00:18:22.230
to show music videos, MTV just bought them up.

00:18:22.769 --> 00:18:25.730
No one was allowed to show rock and roll videos

00:18:25.730 --> 00:18:29.950
on TV anymore. Yeah, you're right. That's a great

00:18:29.950 --> 00:18:33.869
point. And Billy Corgan would know. I also, I

00:18:33.869 --> 00:18:38.029
believe this is true. I think I heard it on one

00:18:38.029 --> 00:18:41.490
of the shows that I used to listen to. I'm not

00:18:41.490 --> 00:18:45.789
sure which one it was. But they were saying like

00:18:45.789 --> 00:18:51.549
how other forms of music besides rock get more

00:18:51.549 --> 00:18:54.690
shares. So if one person's listening, they give

00:18:54.690 --> 00:18:57.799
them two people. As opposed to a rock format

00:18:57.799 --> 00:19:04.039
or a talk format or something like that. They'd

00:19:04.039 --> 00:19:05.839
be like, oh, you guys are old news. We don't

00:19:05.839 --> 00:19:08.220
worry about you guys. So essentially it makes

00:19:08.220 --> 00:19:10.900
the rock format look horrible and it makes any

00:19:10.900 --> 00:19:15.700
other format look great. So you think we're all

00:19:15.700 --> 00:19:18.019
a bunch of loners that listen all by ourselves

00:19:18.019 --> 00:19:20.640
with nobody around while everyone else listens

00:19:20.640 --> 00:19:24.799
in a group. Yes. Yeah, so I think that's true.

00:19:24.900 --> 00:19:27.480
I tried looking it up, but the Nielsen rating

00:19:27.480 --> 00:19:29.500
stuff, the way they do it now and all that, is

00:19:29.500 --> 00:19:32.680
just so convoluted I have no fucking idea. But

00:19:32.680 --> 00:19:35.460
I remember believing it because I think the show,

00:19:35.559 --> 00:19:37.619
I can't remember what show it was, so I'm not

00:19:37.619 --> 00:19:40.519
going to say, but it was one that I trusted pretty

00:19:40.519 --> 00:19:42.180
well that said that. I'm like, you know what,

00:19:42.240 --> 00:19:46.509
I believe that. Anyhow, a new guy, I know I've

00:19:46.509 --> 00:19:48.829
threatened him on us a few times, and he walked

00:19:48.829 --> 00:19:51.130
out, and I've fired him three or four times.

00:19:51.250 --> 00:19:54.250
But at the end of this segment, before we go

00:19:54.250 --> 00:19:58.970
into our bits and everything that we do a couple

00:19:58.970 --> 00:20:01.730
of times a show, before we go into them, he is

00:20:01.730 --> 00:20:04.470
going to explain everything that Billy Corgan

00:20:04.470 --> 00:20:08.829
said is going on. So with that, I turn it over

00:20:08.829 --> 00:20:25.460
to Rob Rad. Oh, the Pebbles, the Fruity Pebbles

00:20:25.460 --> 00:20:27.839
Bandit? Yeah, yeah, the Fruity Pebbles, yes.

00:20:29.140 --> 00:20:31.299
I'm going to go ahead and throw it up front,

00:20:31.400 --> 00:20:35.859
and I'll get the other stuff later. Okay. A Missouri

00:20:35.859 --> 00:20:38.619
woman was arrested after she allegedly broke

00:20:38.619 --> 00:20:41.819
into a home and started eating Fruity Pebbles

00:20:41.819 --> 00:20:48.019
in the kitchen. Sierra Joanne Smith was arrested

00:20:48.019 --> 00:20:57.599
on March 3rd in Springfield, Missouri. The woman

00:20:57.599 --> 00:21:00.519
called police after her son walked into their

00:21:00.519 --> 00:21:03.680
kitchen, saw Smith, and said there was a strange

00:21:03.680 --> 00:21:07.200
lady in the kitchen eating cereal. The son came

00:21:07.200 --> 00:21:10.740
downstairs after smelling something, burning,

00:21:11.019 --> 00:21:14.140
and saw Smith petting one of the family's dogs

00:21:14.140 --> 00:21:20.299
while the oven was on, her statement. Yeah, she

00:21:20.299 --> 00:21:22.720
ate three pillows and petting a damn family dog.

00:21:23.539 --> 00:21:26.599
The woman called police and she then entered

00:21:26.599 --> 00:22:02.119
the... kitchen and your friends. Okay. You got

00:22:02.119 --> 00:22:04.579
to see the picture of that lady. You got to see

00:22:04.579 --> 00:22:07.279
the picture. Look it up online. Oh, my God. It

00:22:07.279 --> 00:22:10.000
tells the whole story. If you just look at the

00:22:10.000 --> 00:23:43.720
picture, it tells the whole story. Not guilty.

00:23:44.039 --> 00:23:48.440
I brought up the picture. She looks like Mila

00:23:48.440 --> 00:23:52.460
Kunis. Yes, she does. Yeah, she does. Only with

00:23:52.460 --> 00:23:59.500
googly eyes. Yeah. I think that's probably from

00:23:59.500 --> 00:24:03.259
the controlled substance, I would bet. But she

00:24:03.259 --> 00:24:15.119
does look considerably like Mila Kunis. I would

00:24:15.119 --> 00:24:23.460
say so, yes. Oh, man. Stories like that never

00:24:23.460 --> 00:24:29.059
get old, do they? Yeah, I read that one the other

00:24:29.059 --> 00:24:31.380
day. I already had that one for you, Mark. Oh,

00:24:31.380 --> 00:24:33.339
no, I know you did. That's why I didn't touch

00:24:33.339 --> 00:24:36.279
it. I was like, Rob's on that. I know that. Rob's

00:24:36.279 --> 00:24:42.700
got the 417 cover. Fuck KY3. Fuck KY3. Rob has

00:24:42.700 --> 00:24:49.500
free film. Awesome. Thank you, Rob. Is that it

00:24:49.500 --> 00:24:52.940
of the story? Yeah, that's it. All right. Let's

00:24:52.940 --> 00:24:55.519
pass the baton to Juan Topher over there just

00:24:55.519 --> 00:25:00.319
south of the historic Waldo area. Right. I have

00:25:00.319 --> 00:25:02.980
a story. It's about chemical weapons being dumped

00:25:02.980 --> 00:25:07.579
by the USA and other countries. Between World

00:25:07.579 --> 00:25:13.680
War I, which ended about 1917, and 1970, So that

00:25:13.680 --> 00:25:17.579
would be, what, 59 years? The U .S. dumped an

00:25:17.579 --> 00:25:22.400
estimated 17 ,000 to over 64 million pounds of

00:25:22.400 --> 00:25:25.660
chemical weapons, including mustard gas, nerve

00:25:25.660 --> 00:25:29.599
agents, and blister agents, into the oceans globally,

00:25:30.000 --> 00:25:33.400
particularly along the Atlantic and Pacific coasts.

00:25:33.460 --> 00:25:36.460
These operations, including Operation Chase,

00:25:36.720 --> 00:25:41.099
which stands for Cut Holes and Sink Em, involved

00:25:41.099 --> 00:25:44.640
sinking ships, filled with munitions. The deteriorating

00:25:44.640 --> 00:25:47.420
weapons still pose risks to fishing and the environment.

00:25:48.400 --> 00:25:51.380
The major dumping occurred after World War I,

00:25:51.380 --> 00:25:54.240
with significantly higher volumes after World

00:25:54.240 --> 00:25:58.859
War II, continuing until 1970. The materials

00:25:58.859 --> 00:26:03.140
dumped were mustard gas, blister agents, nerve

00:26:03.140 --> 00:26:07.440
gas, including BX and GB, and lewisite. Munitions

00:26:07.440 --> 00:26:10.140
disposed of include artillery shells, rockets,

00:26:10.490 --> 00:26:13.950
mines and aircraft bombs. Disposal locations,

00:26:14.170 --> 00:26:17.609
primarily the U .S. Atlantic coast, off the coast

00:26:17.609 --> 00:26:20.710
of Pearl Harbor, approximately 16 ,000 bombs

00:26:20.710 --> 00:26:23.630
dumped there, and near foreign locations like

00:26:23.630 --> 00:26:28.349
Japan, Australia, and Italy. The two common methods

00:26:28.349 --> 00:26:33.029
are thousands of tons were disposed of by loading

00:26:33.029 --> 00:26:36.470
them onto old ships and sinking the ships, and

00:26:36.470 --> 00:26:40.519
then they had open pit and burial. So they just

00:26:40.519 --> 00:26:44.079
find a piece of land somewhere, burn as much

00:26:44.079 --> 00:26:46.299
as they can, let everything escape into the air,

00:26:46.380 --> 00:26:51.039
and then cover it up with dirt. Oh, wow. Currently,

00:26:51.180 --> 00:26:53.579
the weapons are deteriorating, leading to incidents

00:26:53.579 --> 00:26:56.359
where fishermen or dredgers unintentionally recover

00:26:56.359 --> 00:27:00.319
them, causing injuries. There was a fishing boat

00:27:00.319 --> 00:27:03.380
recently where several members of the crew got

00:27:03.380 --> 00:27:06.019
severe chemical burns from dragging them into

00:27:06.019 --> 00:27:12.789
these barrels. Oh, wow. Damn. Let's see. Following

00:27:12.789 --> 00:27:15.190
the two world wars, at least four major powers

00:27:15.190 --> 00:27:17.970
disposed of massive quantities of captured, damaged,

00:27:18.130 --> 00:27:21.009
and obsolete chemical warfare materials by dumping

00:27:21.009 --> 00:27:26.230
them into the ocean. The chemicals were usually

00:27:26.230 --> 00:27:28.809
stored in large metal containers or encased in

00:27:28.809 --> 00:27:32.869
concrete. Shells and bombs were sometimes just

00:27:32.869 --> 00:27:35.230
dumped overboard, but were more often loaded

00:27:35.230 --> 00:27:37.529
as cargo onto ships, and then the ships were

00:27:37.529 --> 00:27:40.609
sunk by opening their sea tops. or by artillery

00:27:40.609 --> 00:27:44.309
fire or torpedoes. Because these sunken ships

00:27:44.309 --> 00:27:46.750
tended to settle on the seabed largely intact,

00:27:47.150 --> 00:27:49.369
the chemical weapons material they contained

00:27:49.369 --> 00:27:52.390
remained within a small area. The unfettered

00:27:52.390 --> 00:27:54.430
material that they just dumped overboard may

00:27:54.430 --> 00:27:57.049
be widely dispersed by current, tides, and other

00:27:57.049 --> 00:28:01.950
forces. In the records of some of these operations

00:28:01.950 --> 00:28:04.289
included listings of where the dumpings occurred

00:28:04.289 --> 00:28:06.450
and the types and quantities of dumped material,

00:28:06.670 --> 00:28:09.819
the U .S. State Department And the Department

00:28:09.819 --> 00:28:13.160
of Defense reports the U .S. military alone dumped

00:28:13.160 --> 00:28:16.140
chemical weapon agents and munitions and notions

00:28:16.140 --> 00:28:18.839
throughout the world on at least 74 occasions

00:28:18.839 --> 00:28:23.480
between 1918 and 1970. Other dumping was done

00:28:23.480 --> 00:28:26.180
haphazardly with no or minimal preserved records.

00:28:26.420 --> 00:28:30.140
The USSR, and now Russia in particular, has provided

00:28:30.140 --> 00:28:32.480
few records to the international community of

00:28:32.480 --> 00:28:35.410
its sizable chemical dumping activities. Russia

00:28:35.410 --> 00:28:39.250
has admitted that at least 160 ,000 tons of chemical

00:28:39.250 --> 00:28:42.769
weapons may be settled on the seabed of Russian

00:28:42.769 --> 00:28:46.009
seas, posing a grave threat to the ecology and

00:28:46.009 --> 00:28:52.609
the health of man. Similarly, 302 ,000 tons of

00:28:52.609 --> 00:28:56.230
chemical weapon munitions were left over in Germany

00:28:56.230 --> 00:28:59.890
and the United Kingdom after World War II, most

00:28:59.890 --> 00:29:01.950
of which were eventually dumped into the ocean.

00:29:02.130 --> 00:29:04.190
So that was the combined British and German.

00:29:05.380 --> 00:29:08.299
but because as far as records, the total amount

00:29:08.299 --> 00:29:12.140
dumped will never be known, and the number of

00:29:12.140 --> 00:29:15.180
locations will never be known, but it's now estimated

00:29:15.180 --> 00:29:18.160
that between Germany and the United Kingdom,

00:29:18.200 --> 00:29:22.700
they dumped at least 1 .6 million tons. Jeez.

00:29:22.700 --> 00:29:27.579
I would not doubt that a bit. Oh, my God. I bet

00:29:27.579 --> 00:29:33.180
these oceans are full of stuff. Yeah, unfortunately,

00:29:33.400 --> 00:29:36.690
they are. Oh, man. Look at the things they do

00:29:36.690 --> 00:29:40.089
when we're not watching. That is fucking sickening.

00:29:40.269 --> 00:29:44.029
It's sickening. No wonder there's red tide and

00:29:44.029 --> 00:29:47.250
all this other stuff going on. No wonder. Yep,

00:29:47.289 --> 00:29:48.990
and they're going to have some mutant critters

00:29:48.990 --> 00:29:52.569
washing up. Yeah, they love it whenever we call

00:29:52.569 --> 00:29:55.009
it natural. They're like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah,

00:29:55.069 --> 00:29:58.329
it's natural. It happens every 3 ,000 years.

00:29:58.589 --> 00:30:03.269
Yeah, yeah, right. No. Well, thank you. Is that

00:30:03.269 --> 00:30:06.119
it, Topher? That was the end of the story, yes.

00:30:06.220 --> 00:30:08.599
All right, thank you, and that is disturbing,

00:30:08.819 --> 00:30:12.940
to say the least. Should we go into a bigger

00:30:12.940 --> 00:30:18.000
threat? Sure. All right, I will start it off.

00:30:18.039 --> 00:30:21.579
We'll do a roundtable, right? Me, Rob, Topher,

00:30:21.660 --> 00:30:26.299
me, Rob, Topher, until we're out? Yep. Sounds

00:30:26.299 --> 00:30:29.700
good. I got four. Okay, I have one, two, three,

00:30:29.740 --> 00:30:32.059
four, five, six. That's all right. When you run

00:30:32.059 --> 00:30:34.460
out, if Topher has a few more, we'll just go

00:30:34.460 --> 00:30:39.400
back and forth. I have six as well. Oh, good,

00:30:39.480 --> 00:30:43.700
good. All right. I tried, but I had a busy day

00:30:43.700 --> 00:30:50.220
once again. That's all right, Rob. That's what

00:30:50.220 --> 00:30:55.079
you get for being married. Yep, yep. All right,

00:30:55.180 --> 00:30:57.750
bigger threat. Motley Crue coming out with a

00:30:57.750 --> 00:31:02.930
new record, no football for five months, or Roger

00:31:02.930 --> 00:31:04.990
Waters getting your phone number and constantly

00:31:04.990 --> 00:31:08.269
calling you to inform you of his alleged intelligence.

00:31:09.569 --> 00:31:15.630
I'm going to go with Roger Waters. Wow. Got to

00:31:15.630 --> 00:31:18.910
be Roger Waters. Yeah. Even though I'd like to

00:31:18.910 --> 00:31:21.990
do Motley Crue, Roger Waters, yeah, that big

00:31:21.990 --> 00:31:29.049
mouth fucking dope. So right now, I guess Roger

00:31:29.049 --> 00:31:31.789
Waters would be the third most overrated musician

00:31:31.789 --> 00:31:37.289
behind Bruce Springsteen and Bono. Oh, you know

00:31:37.289 --> 00:31:40.109
how we... Actually, I put him above Bono right

00:31:40.109 --> 00:31:44.509
now. Yeah, Bono's been a miserable piece of crap.

00:31:46.190 --> 00:31:49.930
Springsteen's going to take number one, but we

00:31:49.930 --> 00:31:56.990
have a new number two. Yeah. All right, Rob?

00:32:18.869 --> 00:32:23.130
Ellen DeGeneres, by far. Yeah, I think she'd

00:32:23.130 --> 00:32:25.670
be, yeah, you can turn your back on those crazy

00:32:25.670 --> 00:32:29.650
eyes. Oh, no, no, no. You'd come back vegan.

00:32:31.650 --> 00:32:35.549
At least the other two you'd be dead. You'd come

00:32:35.549 --> 00:32:41.750
back vegan. No, can't do that. Wow. Oh, oh, oh,

00:32:41.750 --> 00:32:44.089
God. Can you imagine just going to her house

00:32:44.089 --> 00:32:48.779
and seeing that, looking at you? Oh. Oh, man.

00:32:48.980 --> 00:32:51.640
You know, something I've seen in the news recently

00:32:51.640 --> 00:32:55.079
that is worth talking about is when her former

00:32:55.079 --> 00:32:59.200
partner, Anne H, was in that car crash and died,

00:32:59.339 --> 00:33:03.759
and they were taking her body out, there was

00:33:03.759 --> 00:33:06.019
somebody in that body bag moving around. They

00:33:06.019 --> 00:33:09.220
weren't dead yet. Oh, damn. And I remember seeing

00:33:09.220 --> 00:33:12.799
it like three different times on the news, and

00:33:12.799 --> 00:33:15.160
then all of a sudden that part of the video was

00:33:15.160 --> 00:33:17.680
scrubbed. and they didn't show that part anymore.

00:33:17.819 --> 00:33:19.819
But people all over the Internet have been saying,

00:33:19.960 --> 00:33:22.160
remember when they took Anne Heche out of the

00:33:22.160 --> 00:33:24.039
car and she wasn't dead yet, but they had her

00:33:24.039 --> 00:33:27.980
all zipped up in the body bag anyway? Oh, damn.

00:33:28.799 --> 00:33:31.740
I bet Ellen DeGeneres ate her. I was getting

00:33:31.740 --> 00:33:36.140
ready to say that. Allegedly, that would be my

00:33:36.140 --> 00:33:39.500
thoughts. Yes. Well, if the police come, I'll

00:33:39.500 --> 00:33:49.099
just say I missed the sexual act. A handshake

00:33:49.099 --> 00:33:54.420
and a wink, wink, nudge, nudge. It's like, there's

00:33:54.420 --> 00:33:57.880
going to be a baggie behind that tree over there.

00:33:58.420 --> 00:34:02.059
Okay, you got it? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:34:02.339 --> 00:34:04.180
Throw her in that body bag and get the fuck rid

00:34:04.180 --> 00:34:23.900
of her. I don't care how. Yes, the little triangle

00:34:23.900 --> 00:34:35.679
bastards. Oh, God, we got them everywhere. Daylight

00:34:35.679 --> 00:34:42.659
savings time. Even though I hate stink... Yeah,

00:34:42.719 --> 00:34:53.050
no, no, no, I'm changing it. Stink bugs. Oh,

00:34:53.050 --> 00:34:55.510
those little bastards. They leave welts on you

00:34:55.510 --> 00:34:57.250
too when they bite you. I didn't know that until

00:34:57.250 --> 00:35:01.050
not too long ago. Oh, maybe that's what's on

00:35:01.050 --> 00:35:04.389
my ankles then. Yep, they will get you. Yeah,

00:35:04.489 --> 00:35:06.909
I didn't have any idea until I saw one on me

00:35:06.909 --> 00:35:10.409
on my leg and I smacked it. And then I was like,

00:35:10.469 --> 00:35:13.269
man, that little bastard got me. It left a welt.

00:35:14.710 --> 00:35:19.079
Itchy, painful little thing. All right, next

00:35:19.079 --> 00:35:22.260
one. Billy Eilish berating you for being born

00:35:22.260 --> 00:35:26.739
in America. Burnt pizza and everything's closed.

00:35:27.199 --> 00:35:30.219
Or waking up in a bizarre love triangle with

00:35:30.219 --> 00:35:36.280
Ben and Jerry. Oh, Ben and Jerry. Ben and Jerry.

00:35:37.099 --> 00:35:40.260
Even though Billy Eilish is pretty close. That

00:35:40.260 --> 00:35:45.329
would be some weird shit. Oh, my God. You imagine

00:35:45.329 --> 00:35:47.789
those two ugly fucking creatures trying to get

00:35:47.789 --> 00:35:51.429
on top of you. Oh. And they'd be lecturing you

00:35:51.429 --> 00:35:55.889
the whole time. Yes. You're on stolen land. Where's

00:35:55.889 --> 00:36:03.150
the lube? Old saggy fucking nutsack probably

00:36:03.150 --> 00:36:07.750
smells because they never wash up. You're in

00:36:07.750 --> 00:36:13.219
the stolen butthole, man. Yeah, get away from

00:36:13.219 --> 00:36:22.199
my stolen asshole, you fucker. You know, it all

00:36:22.199 --> 00:36:24.519
depends on how far back in time you want to go,

00:36:24.679 --> 00:36:27.579
because whoever you think originally had that

00:36:27.579 --> 00:36:29.820
land, they stole it from somebody before them.

00:36:30.199 --> 00:36:34.360
Yep, it's a history of conquerors. I'm sorry,

00:36:34.420 --> 00:36:37.480
what? It goes back to a time before people could

00:36:37.480 --> 00:36:40.019
even speak and keep records. I mean, that's how

00:36:40.019 --> 00:36:42.119
long people have been taking land from each other.

00:36:42.219 --> 00:36:44.300
That's a great point. Why are you going to stop

00:36:44.300 --> 00:36:46.480
at one point in history and say, this person,

00:36:46.559 --> 00:36:48.260
these people right here, they're the ones that

00:36:48.260 --> 00:36:50.420
should get it. Well, what about everybody else

00:36:50.420 --> 00:36:53.900
that used to own that land? That's a good point.

00:36:53.980 --> 00:36:56.500
There's something about grandstanding that people

00:36:56.500 --> 00:36:59.300
think like they're above everything. You know

00:36:59.300 --> 00:37:01.440
what I mean? They get a little bit of fame and

00:37:01.440 --> 00:37:03.159
fortune, and they think they have this right

00:37:03.159 --> 00:37:06.159
to grandstand constantly, when actually it's

00:37:06.159 --> 00:37:09.360
annoying as fuck and nobody cares. Except idiots.

00:37:10.840 --> 00:37:13.800
Yeah, it's kind of the messiah complex. They

00:37:13.800 --> 00:37:16.300
want to be seen as something close to a messiah,

00:37:16.380 --> 00:37:20.039
which will really increase their popularity if

00:37:20.039 --> 00:37:23.340
they do it right. If they do it wrong, ugh. Like

00:37:23.340 --> 00:37:28.059
Robert De Niro fucking crying. Oh my God. I wanted

00:37:28.059 --> 00:37:30.219
to smack him really hard in the fucking face

00:37:30.219 --> 00:37:33.619
and say, dude, get a hold of yourself. Look in

00:37:33.619 --> 00:37:38.710
the fucking mirror. Ugh. him on screen anymore.

00:37:39.710 --> 00:37:42.309
I look at him and think fucking little sawed

00:37:42.309 --> 00:37:52.329
off pussy every time I see him. I'm holding back.

00:37:52.409 --> 00:38:04.389
Trust me. I'm holding back. Shut up. Go fucking

00:38:04.389 --> 00:38:07.260
spend your millions you old fuck. Go buy some

00:38:07.260 --> 00:38:12.659
cannolis. Shut that fucking pile up. That was

00:38:12.659 --> 00:38:21.019
not an Italian joke. Cannolis are good. We all

00:38:21.019 --> 00:38:28.539
fucking know this. Alright, Rob, to shut me up,

00:38:28.579 --> 00:38:51.340
please, please go ahead. Okay, well, Ace Frehley

00:38:51.340 --> 00:38:54.260
would be a ghost, but Richie Blackmore would

00:38:54.260 --> 00:38:59.219
hit you with his guitar. I was trying to add

00:38:59.219 --> 00:39:01.039
a little spice to it. Like, all of a sudden,

00:39:01.039 --> 00:39:05.559
Ace comes in and goes, Mark! Oh, Ace! What? Hey,

00:39:05.579 --> 00:39:09.320
you wear your makeup in The Great Beyond? What

00:39:09.320 --> 00:39:14.099
do you need me to do, Ace? How come you have

00:39:14.099 --> 00:39:17.239
your makeup on? Shut up, man. God makes me wear

00:39:17.239 --> 00:39:24.159
it. Anyhow. I'm going to... What was the first

00:39:24.159 --> 00:39:27.820
one? I forgot. It was Richie Blackmore, Zach

00:39:27.820 --> 00:39:30.920
Wilder. Okay, I'm going to go with Richie Blackmore

00:39:30.920 --> 00:39:33.099
because he very famously likes to hit people

00:39:33.099 --> 00:39:50.730
with his guitar. trying to impress with all of

00:39:50.730 --> 00:39:54.650
the technical stuff, and Zach would be Mr. Pristine

00:39:54.650 --> 00:39:58.389
and Precise with not much feeling, and Ace would

00:39:58.389 --> 00:40:01.610
just be out there sweating beer. No, not literally,

00:40:01.730 --> 00:40:05.510
because he was sober. But just having a ball

00:40:05.510 --> 00:40:08.650
and belting out the riffs, and yeah, I think

00:40:08.650 --> 00:40:13.150
Ace would take it. Okay, my opinion? I'm going

00:40:13.150 --> 00:40:14.829
to say all of them, because I don't even know

00:40:14.829 --> 00:40:25.500
how to play guitar. Even though I can't play

00:40:25.500 --> 00:40:28.659
worth a shit anymore. But, anyway. I've been

00:40:28.659 --> 00:40:31.679
trying to play guitar for about ten years, and

00:40:31.679 --> 00:40:34.280
I still can't, but I sure have fun trying. I

00:40:34.280 --> 00:40:36.980
do, too. I have fun sounding like shit. But,

00:40:37.019 --> 00:40:43.539
you know. Yeah. All right, here's my next. Bigger

00:40:43.539 --> 00:40:47.139
threat. Screaming babies on the airplane. Oh.

00:40:48.599 --> 00:40:51.960
Screaming idiot passengers in the terminal. Oh.

00:40:56.230 --> 00:40:58.469
at the Tel Aviv airport. Have you guys heard

00:40:58.469 --> 00:41:02.929
about this? Tel Aviv bomb detection. Okay, so

00:41:02.929 --> 00:41:06.769
at the Tel Aviv airport, instead of x -rays or

00:41:06.769 --> 00:41:09.730
patting you down or any of that stuff, they have

00:41:09.730 --> 00:41:13.469
an armored cubicle, and each person walks in

00:41:13.469 --> 00:41:18.710
alone, and the door's shut, and they have devices

00:41:18.710 --> 00:41:21.889
in there that will detonate any explosive. If

00:41:21.889 --> 00:41:30.840
you have any armor, it will detonate it. a whoop.

00:41:32.739 --> 00:41:37.460
Lost another. If you got the balls to walk in

00:41:37.460 --> 00:41:40.440
there with any explosion on it, that's as far

00:41:40.440 --> 00:41:44.199
as you're going. For one, that would not be a

00:41:44.199 --> 00:41:45.940
threat to me because I ain't carrying a bomb

00:41:45.940 --> 00:41:50.679
through. Me neither, but it's still fun to pick

00:41:50.679 --> 00:41:54.579
them. I think that's ingenious. It's like, go

00:41:54.579 --> 00:42:03.739
ahead, bring a bomb in. That's fine. Oh, I love

00:42:03.739 --> 00:42:08.119
that. All right, so what was everybody's vote?

00:42:08.280 --> 00:42:11.400
Mine was Tel Aviv bomb detection. What was yours

00:42:11.400 --> 00:42:16.460
and what was Rob's? What were the first two?

00:42:17.400 --> 00:42:20.179
Screaming babies on the airplane or screaming

00:42:20.179 --> 00:42:29.269
idiot passengers in the terminal. But screaming

00:42:29.269 --> 00:42:31.210
babies next to you on an airplane sucks, too.

00:42:31.210 --> 00:42:32.869
Because I can take them while I'm in there, so

00:42:32.869 --> 00:42:35.510
I don't have to worry about them. All three of

00:42:35.510 --> 00:42:37.869
them suck, but, I mean, well, actually, the TV

00:42:37.869 --> 00:42:41.230
one doesn't. And I love babies, so. Okay, all

00:42:41.230 --> 00:42:43.050
right. I'd be willing to give the baby a pass,

00:42:43.250 --> 00:42:47.010
but some adult who's acting like an idiot, nah.

00:42:47.469 --> 00:42:52.690
I would agree. A baby's supposed to cry. Adults,

00:42:52.750 --> 00:43:01.579
no. Robert De Niro. All right. My next one. No

00:43:01.579 --> 00:43:05.159
socks that match in your dresser. Spam calls

00:43:05.159 --> 00:43:09.079
that are one digit off from your wife's number.

00:43:09.780 --> 00:43:13.039
Or Mitch McConnell belly dancing in your living

00:43:13.039 --> 00:43:20.539
room. All of them suck. I'm going to have to

00:43:20.539 --> 00:43:28.730
go with Mitch. Mitch McConnell. If that were

00:43:28.730 --> 00:43:31.929
happening, that would just be terrible. After

00:43:31.929 --> 00:43:35.250
I got done poking my eyes out, I would stick

00:43:35.250 --> 00:43:40.250
my finger down my throat to vomit more. Wow.

00:43:41.150 --> 00:43:45.230
Oh, gosh. That's pretty rough. I'd have to cut

00:43:45.230 --> 00:43:47.489
my tongue out just so I could never speak of

00:43:47.489 --> 00:43:56.869
it. Damn. I would never come back to the house.

00:43:57.289 --> 00:44:05.530
I'd be like, board it up, board it up. Oh, gosh.

00:44:06.570 --> 00:44:10.190
I think we're pretty unanimous there. Yeah, that

00:44:10.190 --> 00:44:14.750
was unanimous. All right, well, my next one.

00:44:27.469 --> 00:44:30.489
that only plays Bruce Springsteen and U2 songs,

00:44:30.610 --> 00:44:35.449
or a TV channel that only plays The Howard Stern

00:44:35.449 --> 00:44:41.590
Show? Oh, my God. I'm going to go with Springsteen

00:44:41.590 --> 00:44:46.050
and U2. I'm going to go with Springsteen also,

00:44:46.090 --> 00:44:49.110
even though I hate the other two. Yeah, Stern,

00:44:49.369 --> 00:44:52.650
yeah. That's a close one, but I'm going to go

00:44:52.650 --> 00:44:55.949
with Springsteen and U2. Yeah, Springsteen just

00:44:55.949 --> 00:45:01.460
by a nudge. the TV channel that plays Howard

00:45:01.460 --> 00:45:04.480
Stern, because that would draw me in, having

00:45:04.480 --> 00:45:07.639
a visual. And at least with a radio station,

00:45:07.800 --> 00:45:10.239
I could try to tune out the lyrics and just concentrate

00:45:10.239 --> 00:45:14.639
on the instrument. Okay, all right, that's a

00:45:14.639 --> 00:45:18.800
good answer. Okay, yeah, all of them fucking

00:45:18.800 --> 00:45:26.340
suck, but yeah. All right, next one. And you

00:45:26.340 --> 00:45:29.840
know, no disrespect to Garth Brooks. but I don't

00:45:29.840 --> 00:45:31.820
want to hear Garth Brooks all night. No, no,

00:45:31.840 --> 00:45:34.519
great guy. He had good songs, but just not my

00:45:34.519 --> 00:45:39.699
thing I want to hear all night. So, yeah. I've

00:45:39.699 --> 00:45:43.920
got one kind of like that right here. Hanson

00:45:43.920 --> 00:45:46.639
being played on loop in a waiting room at a hospital.

00:45:47.699 --> 00:45:50.739
A rabid monkey constantly grabbing your balls.

00:45:52.820 --> 00:45:55.639
Or being forced to listen to Nina Blackwood's

00:45:55.639 --> 00:46:02.119
phone sex hotline. What's that? Nina Blackwood,

00:46:02.159 --> 00:46:03.880
have you heard her voice? She sounds like she

00:46:03.880 --> 00:46:06.880
has throat cancer. She might have, I don't know.

00:46:07.039 --> 00:46:11.039
I know, but she doesn't have throat cancer. Wow.

00:46:12.119 --> 00:46:14.980
Yeah, I think the Nina Blackwood phone sex hotline

00:46:14.980 --> 00:46:18.679
would probably have crawled back up inside me.

00:46:19.039 --> 00:46:21.639
Yes, yes. That would protect it from the monkey.

00:46:23.099 --> 00:46:26.800
I hear screaming. This is only kind of difficult.

00:46:27.440 --> 00:46:33.440
So we go, what's that screaming? What's that

00:46:33.440 --> 00:46:39.340
screaming, Mark? Oh, that's just my penis. I

00:46:39.340 --> 00:46:42.119
will probably never see it again. No, it's gone

00:46:42.119 --> 00:46:46.940
for good. Thanks, Nina. I'm going to have to

00:46:46.940 --> 00:46:50.980
say it's Nina. That would just be terrible. Okay,

00:46:51.000 --> 00:46:53.260
I'm going to have to change mine after all that.

00:46:53.840 --> 00:46:59.400
Yeah, Hanson sucks, but yeah. Yeah. All right.

00:47:00.179 --> 00:47:08.719
Topher. Okay. Which is the bigger threat? Kiss's

00:47:08.719 --> 00:47:14.440
Music from the Elder album. Oh! The Sgt. Pepper

00:47:14.440 --> 00:47:21.239
movie soundtrack. Or Bill Shatner sings grunge

00:47:21.239 --> 00:47:38.179
hits from the 90s on cassette tape. Yeah. Man.

00:47:38.340 --> 00:47:40.460
What was the first one again? I forgot. I'm sorry.

00:47:41.579 --> 00:47:44.179
Music from the Elder by Kiss. Music from the

00:47:44.179 --> 00:47:48.719
Elder. That's mine. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. If

00:47:48.719 --> 00:47:52.280
you don't know, just listen to it. Dial it up

00:47:52.280 --> 00:47:57.019
on YouTube and listen to it. Yeah. I'm going

00:47:57.019 --> 00:47:59.380
to have to go with the Sgt. Pepper movie soundtrack

00:47:59.380 --> 00:48:02.400
because actually I've never heard Music from

00:48:02.400 --> 00:48:05.099
the Elder. But I have. heard the Sargent Pepper

00:48:05.099 --> 00:48:07.940
soundtrack, and it is so corporate, and it sucks

00:48:07.940 --> 00:48:11.699
so hard, and the way they just basically crapped

00:48:11.699 --> 00:48:14.760
all over the Beatles' music just really seems

00:48:14.760 --> 00:48:17.079
so wrong. You know what? I can't really argue

00:48:17.079 --> 00:48:23.300
that at all. Oof. Okay, you know what? The Elder

00:48:23.300 --> 00:48:26.340
has one good song on it, and that's Mr. Blackwell,

00:48:26.440 --> 00:48:28.559
and that's just Gene Simmons bitchin' about an

00:48:28.559 --> 00:48:37.170
old boss. Right, right. So... Oh, shit. You know

00:48:37.170 --> 00:48:39.789
what? I'm leaving it. I'm leaving it. So, all

00:48:39.789 --> 00:48:45.889
right. All right. What is a bigger threat? Eating

00:48:45.889 --> 00:48:48.809
a fried chicken liver halfway and noticing it's

00:48:48.809 --> 00:48:53.789
raw. Yeah, yeah. You accidentally dribble urine

00:48:53.789 --> 00:48:59.150
on your trousers. Yes, I said trousers. Or wake

00:48:59.150 --> 00:49:04.929
up being pegged by Dwayne The Rock Johnson. Or

00:49:04.929 --> 00:49:07.730
wake up being pegged by Wayne the Rock Johnson.

00:49:09.570 --> 00:49:12.610
The other two suck, but I'm saying being pegged

00:49:12.610 --> 00:49:17.769
by the Rock would be the... Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

00:49:18.030 --> 00:49:21.730
Yeah. That would be pretty awful. Oh, yeah, yeah.

00:49:21.730 --> 00:49:23.570
He'd have that big grin on his face the whole

00:49:23.570 --> 00:49:27.150
time, you know. He'd be telling you all about

00:49:27.150 --> 00:49:39.429
his human being hunts on Hawaii. And couldn't

00:49:39.429 --> 00:49:44.170
get it up? Yeah. I don't know, because he did

00:49:44.170 --> 00:49:46.849
take steroids. Yeah, but pegging, he could go

00:49:46.849 --> 00:49:49.050
grab something else and do it. I mean, if he

00:49:49.050 --> 00:49:51.250
couldn't get it up, he could go grab a stick

00:49:51.250 --> 00:49:53.469
or something, or a candle or something. I don't

00:49:53.469 --> 00:49:56.250
know, you know? Yeah, you got a point there.

00:49:56.449 --> 00:49:59.250
Damn it, yeah. Yeah, I'm going to say Dwayne

00:49:59.250 --> 00:50:01.750
Rock Johnson, anything to do with my asshole,

00:50:01.969 --> 00:50:14.710
no. Nope. All right, Topher? Oh, okay. I'm sorry.

00:50:14.809 --> 00:50:18.949
I didn't get my third one yet. Oh, shoot. Okay.

00:50:20.889 --> 00:51:08.679
That's all right. decent human being, so. Yeah.

00:51:08.739 --> 00:51:10.800
I'll throw it to Courtney. She'd be the biggest

00:51:10.800 --> 00:51:12.739
threat. Yeah, because she'd kill you in your

00:51:12.739 --> 00:51:16.699
sleep, dope you up with heroin, allegedly. Yeah.

00:51:16.780 --> 00:51:18.739
And stick a shotgun in your mouth. Shoot you.

00:51:19.760 --> 00:51:23.500
Allegedly. Allegedly. Okay, well, I'm going to

00:51:23.500 --> 00:51:27.480
go with Octo Mom. She is pretty good. She would

00:51:27.480 --> 00:51:31.179
be alive in how many, if she had eight kids in

00:51:31.179 --> 00:51:34.400
one birth. Come on. Oh, yeah, you're right. Changing

00:51:34.400 --> 00:51:40.070
diapers. be all day changing diapers. Oh, yeah.

00:51:40.309 --> 00:51:43.969
Yeah. Give me corny love any day, I would die.

00:51:47.110 --> 00:51:50.170
You make a very good point. Great point, Robert.

00:51:50.210 --> 00:51:53.090
If this world's end off, she has a ranch she

00:51:53.090 --> 00:52:18.260
could bury out there. picking up with a horrible

00:52:18.260 --> 00:52:22.039
taste in your mouth, or the fact that your butthole

00:52:22.039 --> 00:52:25.619
really hurts for some reason. All from doing

00:52:25.619 --> 00:52:29.679
cocaine with Stefan Diggs. Yes. I'm going to

00:52:29.679 --> 00:52:31.940
go ahead and just get the subject right off the

00:52:31.940 --> 00:52:36.000
table. Cocaine with Stefan Diggs will probably

00:52:36.000 --> 00:52:50.900
cure all of that later. You get rid of that,

00:52:50.980 --> 00:52:52.940
you got rid of the butthole hurting and everything

00:52:52.940 --> 00:53:00.500
else. So there you go. All right, Rob, do you

00:53:00.500 --> 00:53:25.989
have a fourth one or not? Wow. Yeah, the wife.

00:53:26.449 --> 00:53:30.250
Yeah. Yeah. Because at that point, you're going

00:53:30.250 --> 00:53:33.489
to wish you were dead. Yes. They're going to

00:53:33.489 --> 00:53:35.070
make sure you're not dead. They're going to make

00:53:35.070 --> 00:53:41.989
sure you wish you were dead. Wow. It's okay,

00:53:42.150 --> 00:53:45.989
honey. Go to sleep now. I deserve that. They're

00:53:45.989 --> 00:53:49.530
mad off at Eddie Murphy Raw. He said a black

00:53:49.530 --> 00:53:52.619
woman that... Don't go to sleep on him because,

00:53:52.719 --> 00:53:55.340
you know, after you hit him. He couldn't do it

00:53:55.340 --> 00:53:58.699
nowadays. But he goes, that's okay, honey. I

00:53:58.699 --> 00:54:00.719
deserve that. Go to sleep now. You get the fuck

00:54:00.719 --> 00:54:11.300
out of there. Yes. All righty. I have one left.

00:54:11.780 --> 00:54:23.050
Okay, and I got one left too, so go ahead. A

00:54:23.050 --> 00:54:26.110
waitress with several open and oozing sores.

00:54:26.150 --> 00:54:35.730
Or Girl Scout cookies. Because I read how contaminated

00:54:35.730 --> 00:54:38.409
Girl Scout cookies are. I've got a whole story

00:54:38.409 --> 00:54:59.699
on that when we have the time. Yeah, they carry

00:54:59.699 --> 00:55:06.119
guns now. Yeah. But it all sucks. The oozing

00:55:06.119 --> 00:55:09.380
waitress doesn't sound too good either. No, it

00:55:09.380 --> 00:55:11.760
doesn't. But at least I can get up and walk out.

00:55:13.460 --> 00:55:15.980
This is true. This is true. Yeah, it's a Waffle

00:55:15.980 --> 00:55:18.659
House. I'm sorry, ma 'am. This is too expensive

00:55:18.659 --> 00:55:23.960
for me. What? Yeah, I don't want your sores oozing

00:55:23.960 --> 00:55:28.659
on me. You're trying to be nice. cookies, even

00:55:28.659 --> 00:55:31.280
if you know that they're unhealthy and you shouldn't

00:55:31.280 --> 00:55:33.039
eat them, you get high, you're going to eat them.

00:55:33.800 --> 00:55:36.920
Yeah. Yeah, this is true. You don't care. You're

00:55:36.920 --> 00:55:38.940
like, fuck yeah, these are good. I don't care

00:55:38.940 --> 00:55:44.280
what it does to me. All right. And finally, my

00:55:44.280 --> 00:55:48.539
last one. Out of date cottage cheese, curdled

00:55:48.539 --> 00:55:55.139
milk, or anything made with tofu? Tofu. Tofu.

00:55:58.670 --> 00:56:01.670
with curdled milk because most of the fake cheese

00:56:01.670 --> 00:56:06.369
I eat is made out of tofu. Oh. Oh. Okay, all

00:56:06.369 --> 00:56:10.670
right. That was a bad one. Yeah, for people who

00:56:10.670 --> 00:56:14.230
aren't aware, I can't eat dairy. Okay, okay.

00:56:14.429 --> 00:56:18.590
I did not know that. Yeah, so anything animal

00:56:18.590 --> 00:56:21.570
milk or anything made from animal milk just makes

00:56:21.570 --> 00:56:24.510
me sick as a dog, so. Oh, okay. Yeah, let's go

00:56:24.510 --> 00:56:27.110
with the curdled milk, man. Okay, curdled milk.

00:56:27.150 --> 00:56:35.719
I've had curdled milk Yeah, yeah, I think everybody's

00:56:35.719 --> 00:56:37.280
done that. You know, you go in and you're like,

00:56:37.340 --> 00:56:39.800
hey, all right, hell yeah, last bit in the jug.

00:56:40.119 --> 00:56:42.219
Now you know why the jug was sitting in there.

00:56:43.619 --> 00:56:46.739
Half backwash anyway. Yeah, yeah, of course.

00:56:47.039 --> 00:56:48.840
Because you know somebody went over there and

00:56:48.840 --> 00:56:52.239
drank out of it anyhow and didn't tell you? Yep.

00:56:53.800 --> 00:56:56.840
Yep. All righty, let's take our first break,

00:56:56.980 --> 00:57:02.730
and then we'll come back with some emails. All

00:57:02.730 --> 00:57:13.090
right, we'll be right back. Hello, this is a

00:57:13.090 --> 00:57:17.949
new guy, and these three dimwits want me to explain

00:57:17.949 --> 00:57:21.190
Billy Corgan's theory about rock music was taken

00:57:21.190 --> 00:57:25.210
down deliberately. Rock was deliberately marginalized

00:57:25.210 --> 00:57:27.809
by record labels. Radio and streaming platforms

00:57:27.809 --> 00:57:31.539
favor more commercially exploitable genres. Pop,

00:57:31.539 --> 00:57:36.280
hip -hop, EDM, gatekeepers. Corporate consolidation

00:57:36.280 --> 00:57:39.519
pushed formats and formulas that deprioritized

00:57:39.519 --> 00:57:41.880
guitar -driven bands because they're harder to

00:57:41.880 --> 00:57:45.400
market to mass youth audiences. Streaming algorithms

00:57:45.400 --> 00:57:48.679
and playlist culture favor short, hooky tracks

00:57:48.679 --> 00:57:52.139
and high play count genres, disadvantaging longer

00:57:52.139 --> 00:57:55.619
form album -centered rock. Media narratives and

00:57:55.619 --> 00:57:58.199
awards industry recognition shifted away from

00:57:58.199 --> 00:58:00.860
rock. accelerating its culture and visibility.

00:58:01.340 --> 00:58:04.960
This marginalization is at least partly intentional,

00:58:05.139 --> 00:58:08.219
driven by profit motives and risk -avoiding executives

00:58:08.219 --> 00:58:12.300
rather than purely audience taste. The mechanisms

00:58:12.300 --> 00:58:14.699
that he points to are radio formatting and consolidation,

00:58:15.099 --> 00:58:17.199
reducing diverse playlists and local scenes,

00:58:17.460 --> 00:58:20.639
label A &R focusing on single artists and genres

00:58:20.639 --> 00:58:23.400
with clear streaming metrics, playlisting and

00:58:23.400 --> 00:58:26.400
algorithmic recommendation that amplify what

00:58:26.400 --> 00:58:29.400
already performs well. Industry and critics framing

00:58:29.400 --> 00:58:31.900
rock as dead, which discourages investment and

00:58:31.900 --> 00:58:36.159
airplay. Examples Corgan uses. Decline of rock

00:58:36.159 --> 00:58:38.719
on mainstream radio and award shows. Major rock

00:58:38.719 --> 00:58:40.820
acts struggling to get playlisted or promoted

00:58:40.820 --> 00:58:44.179
compared to pop hip -hop artists. Anecdotes about

00:58:44.179 --> 00:58:46.639
label management, attitudes towards guitar bands,

00:58:46.800 --> 00:58:49.699
criticism, and counterpoints. Others argue that

00:58:49.699 --> 00:58:51.840
decline is more about change in audience, taste,

00:58:51.980 --> 00:58:54.039
demographic shifts, and natural genre cycles

00:58:54.039 --> 00:58:57.619
rather than conspiracy. Rock remains vibrant

00:58:57.619 --> 00:59:00.119
in the indie scenes, festivals, streaming niches,

00:59:00.119 --> 00:59:03.519
and international markets. But I will add this.

00:59:04.300 --> 00:59:06.940
I know I'm the new guy, but this is my thought

00:59:06.940 --> 00:59:10.219
on this. How come all these rock bands still

00:59:10.219 --> 00:59:15.739
sell many tickets, but a lot of the pop acts

00:59:15.739 --> 00:59:19.159
do not? That will explain a lot right there that

00:59:19.159 --> 00:59:22.510
rock is still a preferred... music listening

00:59:22.510 --> 00:59:25.289
method. And also, if you ever want to sell a

00:59:25.289 --> 00:59:27.670
car, you want to sell a house, you want to sell

00:59:27.670 --> 00:59:30.070
a boat, they use classic rock. They don't use

00:59:30.070 --> 00:59:32.789
R &B. They don't use any classical music. They

00:59:32.789 --> 00:59:35.489
don't use anything else. They use classic rock.

00:59:35.550 --> 00:59:38.550
Why is that? Because classic rock has deep pockets

00:59:38.550 --> 00:59:41.389
still. Billy Corgan, you're right. Thank you.

00:59:42.150 --> 00:59:44.329
This is New Guy, and I would like to tell the

00:59:44.329 --> 00:59:47.829
other three guys to go fuck themselves. Hey,

00:59:47.849 --> 00:59:50.789
everybody. This is Uncle Rob. I'm going to give

00:59:50.789 --> 00:59:54.909
you some tips for life. Always answer the phone

00:59:54.909 --> 00:59:59.030
with I have 1%. I will hang on as long as I can.

00:59:59.630 --> 01:00:02.449
That way, if it's someone you don't want to talk

01:00:02.449 --> 01:00:07.489
to, look off mid -sentence and you're done. And

01:00:07.489 --> 01:00:10.409
now we look in on the adventures of the technical

01:00:10.409 --> 01:00:14.210
explanation guy. Oh my, would you look at the

01:00:14.210 --> 01:00:17.809
Reilly scattering? It sure is brilliant tonight.

01:00:18.690 --> 01:00:22.099
First off, You're on private property. Second,

01:00:22.360 --> 01:00:25.880
you're in my flower garden. Third, if you're

01:00:25.880 --> 01:00:28.780
talking about the sunset, yes, it is stunning.

01:00:29.039 --> 01:00:32.320
And finally, would you get the hell off my property,

01:00:32.420 --> 01:00:36.179
you annoying fucking bastard? This is Joshua

01:00:36.179 --> 01:00:38.460
Belmont, your food for thought man on The Hustle.

01:00:39.000 --> 01:00:42.219
Today, we would like to celebrate Mr. Timothy

01:00:42.219 --> 01:00:45.340
J. Brottux, who is credited for the invention

01:00:45.340 --> 01:00:49.739
of two -ply toilet paper. Because of you, Timmy,

01:00:49.760 --> 01:00:53.320
we no longer have to spend ten minutes scrubbing

01:00:53.320 --> 01:00:56.880
our fingernails after every dump. Mr. Bratox,

01:00:57.139 --> 01:01:03.440
you are a true hero. Jam X. What the hell happened?

01:01:04.619 --> 01:01:10.840
You were the generation of change. You never

01:01:10.840 --> 01:01:14.739
wanted to be one of them. Apathy spoke for you.

01:01:16.079 --> 01:01:20.760
Fuck the man. Fuck the system. What the hell

01:01:20.760 --> 01:01:25.059
happened? The generation of angst? The generation

01:01:25.059 --> 01:01:30.340
of non -compliance? Is now buying a boat? You're

01:01:30.340 --> 01:01:32.619
really fed up to kill someone dangled a dollar

01:01:32.619 --> 01:01:37.000
near you? Great job, Xers. Everything's ruined.

01:01:40.500 --> 01:01:46.579
Strange, but true. Understoma. was the last World

01:01:46.579 --> 01:01:50.000
War II prisoner of war to be released. Toma was

01:01:50.000 --> 01:01:54.139
captured in 1945. He was later locked up in an

01:01:54.139 --> 01:01:56.940
insane asylum for speaking gibberish. However,

01:01:57.199 --> 01:02:00.139
in 2000, he was accidentally discovered by a

01:02:00.139 --> 01:02:02.900
Slavic who recognized he was actually speaking

01:02:02.900 --> 01:02:07.039
Hungarian. After nearly 60 years, Toma was successfully

01:02:07.039 --> 01:02:10.420
identified and finally returned home in 2000.

01:02:13.769 --> 01:02:15.909
Please remember to go to Cole's dressing room,

01:02:16.030 --> 01:02:18.789
wait five minutes, and scream, Hey, there's no

01:02:18.789 --> 01:02:26.690
toilet paper in here! Now it's time for Pick

01:02:26.690 --> 01:02:29.530
Up Lines from a Loser. If you were a fruit, you

01:02:29.530 --> 01:02:45.159
would be a fine apple. area at the Talk is Cheap

01:02:45.159 --> 01:03:15.489
studio. in the Paisley Possum Studios, south

01:03:15.489 --> 01:03:18.789
of historic Waldo, Missouri. The coffee is still

01:03:18.789 --> 01:03:21.269
hot, but it's almost gone. It is still available

01:03:21.269 --> 01:03:23.349
24 hours a day, because I'm going to go make

01:03:23.349 --> 01:03:26.650
some more. The space heater is on, and the laundry

01:03:26.650 --> 01:03:28.809
would have been done by now, but I just need

01:03:28.809 --> 01:03:30.690
to get up off my ass and put it in the dryer.

01:03:31.429 --> 01:03:35.110
Oh, I know that. I made a mistake. Yeah, yep.

01:03:35.150 --> 01:03:38.570
I probably have some not done, too. All right.

01:03:39.269 --> 01:03:44.210
We have some emails here. The first one, Rob,

01:03:44.369 --> 01:03:47.210
do you still do ramblings of a madman? I haven't

01:03:47.210 --> 01:03:49.610
heard them in a long time. Verna in Tennessee.

01:03:50.449 --> 01:03:53.150
That's on me. I guess I haven't been putting

01:03:53.150 --> 01:03:58.949
them in enough. Well, we did some new tips for

01:03:58.949 --> 01:04:01.710
life. We haven't done any more ramblings of a

01:04:01.710 --> 01:04:04.130
madman. Yeah, I've been throwing those in quite

01:04:04.130 --> 01:04:06.550
a bit. I think I have been neglecting ramblings

01:04:06.550 --> 01:04:11.550
of a madman. So, Verna, that will be changed.

01:04:12.509 --> 01:04:15.630
Yeah, we will come up with some. Yeah, and we'll

01:04:15.630 --> 01:04:17.710
do some more when we get a chance to. I have

01:04:17.710 --> 01:04:20.730
like ten of them that we can do. So, anyhow.

01:04:21.469 --> 01:04:25.769
This next one's for Topher. Okay. Topher, your

01:04:25.769 --> 01:04:28.449
Millman stories are hilarious. Please keep them

01:04:28.449 --> 01:04:30.750
coming. Rich in Bentonville. And he's talking

01:04:30.750 --> 01:04:35.449
about the other show. Yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah, remember

01:04:35.449 --> 01:04:39.800
you're telling Millman stories? What was it on?

01:04:39.840 --> 01:04:44.019
Was it on the Sports Bastards, maybe? Yeah, I

01:04:44.019 --> 01:04:50.699
think so. I know he used to do it on Two Douchebags

01:04:50.699 --> 01:04:54.519
when it first started. I remember that. Okay,

01:04:54.559 --> 01:04:56.599
maybe they're talking about that, too. Maybe

01:04:56.599 --> 01:05:00.619
he does talk, yeah. I think you do talk about

01:05:00.619 --> 01:05:04.579
it a few times on Sports Bastards. I remember

01:05:04.579 --> 01:05:09.090
one time talking about how I right up on a drive

01:05:09.090 --> 01:05:12.329
-by shooting, but it just happened. And another

01:05:12.329 --> 01:05:18.929
time where I witnessed a fender bender, the guy

01:05:18.929 --> 01:05:22.010
who was at fault was the white guy and wanted

01:05:22.010 --> 01:05:24.230
me to lie because the other driver was black

01:05:24.230 --> 01:05:28.869
and he just presumed I would side with him because

01:05:28.869 --> 01:05:31.530
he was white. Fuck you, man. I'm telling the

01:05:31.530 --> 01:05:42.710
truth. Woman dickhead. Jeez. Man, that dude's

01:05:42.710 --> 01:05:47.630
an asshole. Geez. You also had the black guy

01:05:47.630 --> 01:05:50.809
that they kept saying black ice, and he was like

01:05:50.809 --> 01:05:54.670
going, I don't know what I did wrong. Yeah, they

01:05:54.670 --> 01:05:56.989
were warning us during the wintertime about black

01:05:56.989 --> 01:05:59.369
ice, and he thought they were saying black guys.

01:06:00.150 --> 01:06:04.610
He was Jamaican, and he didn't really quite understand

01:06:04.610 --> 01:06:07.360
some of this. American accents, and he said,

01:06:07.440 --> 01:06:08.920
why are you always talking about black guys?

01:06:09.000 --> 01:06:13.780
Why do we have to watch out for black guys? Not

01:06:13.780 --> 01:06:18.420
after a day like that. Like, what the fuck did

01:06:18.420 --> 01:06:24.400
I do, guys? I bet he really split after he understood

01:06:24.400 --> 01:06:29.699
the word ice. Oh, shit. Nowadays, that has a

01:06:29.699 --> 01:06:31.619
slightly different meaning, doesn't it? Yeah,

01:06:31.619 --> 01:06:39.139
it does. Also, you did tell, you told another

01:06:39.139 --> 01:06:41.440
story, I remember. You used to get them riled

01:06:41.440 --> 01:06:44.119
up with, you'd tell them to go racial on them

01:06:44.119 --> 01:06:48.219
and they'd get scared as fuck. Oh, yeah. Anytime

01:06:48.219 --> 01:06:51.219
they'd say black anything, like Black Friday

01:06:51.219 --> 01:06:56.199
or Black Night or something, I would, my guy

01:06:56.199 --> 01:06:58.440
who was pacing next to me, Hugh McCleary, another

01:06:58.440 --> 01:07:04.989
Jamaican guy. whisper, hey man, why does it have

01:07:04.989 --> 01:07:07.250
to be black? And you go, yeah, hey man, why does

01:07:07.250 --> 01:07:09.050
it have to be black? Why does it have to be black

01:07:09.050 --> 01:07:14.809
Friday? That was it. That was the one I was just

01:07:14.809 --> 01:07:16.929
fucking cracking up on. All of them were good,

01:07:17.010 --> 01:07:18.769
but that one really got me. Then he'd turn around

01:07:18.769 --> 01:07:23.269
and he'd grin really big. And also, it shuts

01:07:23.269 --> 01:07:25.070
down management because they don't know what

01:07:25.070 --> 01:07:29.829
to say. I mean, they had to just treat it like

01:07:29.829 --> 01:07:33.289
a joke and let it go. That's why I'm doing that.

01:07:33.630 --> 01:07:36.329
But you can see how it probably made him uncomfortable,

01:07:36.530 --> 01:07:39.429
though, didn't it? Yeah, especially if it was

01:07:39.429 --> 01:07:45.750
a new boss that didn't know. Oh, I love that.

01:07:47.349 --> 01:07:50.989
All right, the next one. Mark, why don't you

01:07:50.989 --> 01:07:53.469
do a skit where you're a psychic and you tell

01:07:53.469 --> 01:07:57.030
all your readings that they suck? I could imagine

01:07:57.030 --> 01:07:59.489
you doing that and it being entertaining. Ross

01:07:59.489 --> 01:08:03.900
in Texas. Ross, thank you. I think we could do

01:08:03.900 --> 01:08:06.400
something like that, where someone comes in wanting

01:08:06.400 --> 01:08:08.059
to know about their future, and you tell them

01:08:08.059 --> 01:08:12.280
a whole bunch of horrible shit. Yeah. All right.

01:08:12.300 --> 01:08:13.940
You know what, Ross? We'll work on that. You're

01:08:13.940 --> 01:08:16.600
royalty. So, yeah. Yeah, we'll work on that.

01:08:16.659 --> 01:08:19.760
Thank you. I'll have to come up with my own really

01:08:19.760 --> 01:08:23.100
weird way of foretelling the future. I can see

01:08:23.100 --> 01:08:26.279
it involving dice, cards, and coffee grounds.

01:08:33.159 --> 01:08:41.159
Sounds like a Friday to me. Yeah, like that lady

01:08:41.159 --> 01:08:44.760
that got a divorce because the coffee grounds

01:08:44.760 --> 01:08:47.119
were red and said that her husband was cheating

01:08:47.119 --> 01:08:55.079
on her. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, God. All right, the

01:08:55.079 --> 01:08:57.319
next one. I think that one was actually much

01:08:57.319 --> 01:09:03.630
capping than it is. Yeah, yeah. All right, the

01:09:03.630 --> 01:09:06.829
next one, and this is for Rob. This is your buddy.

01:09:08.069 --> 01:09:11.010
Carp soup, Rob. Come and get it fresh from the

01:09:11.010 --> 01:09:14.850
Lake Freeman Carp Hatchery. By the way, someone

01:09:14.850 --> 01:09:17.270
actually spray painted that fireplace monument,

01:09:17.369 --> 01:09:20.210
and there's a big reward if someone snitches

01:09:20.210 --> 01:09:23.210
on the tag artist. Mitch, Lake Freeman Councilman

01:09:23.210 --> 01:09:29.069
and local organic leaf lettuce taster. All right,

01:09:29.069 --> 01:09:32.710
thank you, Mitch. I guess somebody really did

01:09:32.710 --> 01:09:35.770
tag that. Probably one of our listeners tagged

01:09:35.770 --> 01:09:37.930
that damn thing, I bet, because we make fun of

01:09:37.930 --> 01:09:40.569
it constantly. The big fireplace out there in

01:09:40.569 --> 01:09:44.949
front of Harrisonville Justice Center. I guess

01:09:44.949 --> 01:09:47.069
somebody spray painted it. I mean, I don't think

01:09:47.069 --> 01:09:49.270
he's joking around about it. He didn't say anything

01:09:49.270 --> 01:09:51.869
like that. He said, by the way, someone actually

01:09:51.869 --> 01:09:54.649
spray painted the fireplace monument, and there's

01:09:54.649 --> 01:09:56.909
a big reward if someone snitches a tag artist

01:09:56.909 --> 01:09:59.170
out. So I'm going to say that probably happened.

01:10:03.240 --> 01:10:05.800
Realistically, as long as something is sitting

01:10:05.800 --> 01:10:07.600
there, eventually someone's going to spray paint

01:10:07.600 --> 01:10:09.159
something on it. It's just a matter of time.

01:10:09.420 --> 01:10:11.159
I'm going to go ahead and credit our listeners.

01:10:12.600 --> 01:10:17.140
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But we didn't tell them to

01:10:17.140 --> 01:10:20.359
do it. Thank you, Mitch. And, yes, save me some

01:10:20.359 --> 01:10:23.000
of that corkscrew. All right. Hey, Mitch, go

01:10:23.000 --> 01:10:29.180
fuck yourself. All right. Okay. Next one. I recently

01:10:29.180 --> 01:10:31.819
won it. Oh, I love this one. I recently wanted

01:10:31.819 --> 01:10:34.159
dinner with you guys. I had a great time. Can

01:10:34.159 --> 01:10:36.300
I enter again, or do I have to wait for a bit?

01:10:36.420 --> 01:10:40.939
Mel in New York. I'm saying it's, what, every

01:10:40.939 --> 01:10:46.479
90 days per family. That sounds fair. Yeah. Yeah,

01:10:46.539 --> 01:10:49.199
that's fair. We can't have prize pigs. Sorry.

01:10:50.100 --> 01:10:53.479
Sorry, Mel in New York. I'm sorry. But, yeah,

01:10:53.600 --> 01:10:56.039
you've got to wait 90 days, and it can't be your

01:10:56.039 --> 01:10:57.880
brother. It can't be your sister. It can't be

01:10:57.880 --> 01:11:03.520
your mom. Nothing. Okay? So, all right. And then,

01:11:03.640 --> 01:11:08.020
let's see. Oh, there's a few more. We've got

01:11:08.020 --> 01:11:10.300
to bump up on emails ever since we've been doing

01:11:10.300 --> 01:11:17.359
the douchebag gangbang or whatever. So, all right.

01:11:18.420 --> 01:11:20.880
Douches, serious question. I'm young and just

01:11:20.880 --> 01:11:23.520
landed, hopefully, my career. I have an option

01:11:23.520 --> 01:11:26.979
of starting a pension or a 401k. It's my choice.

01:11:27.260 --> 01:11:31.199
Which one do you all recommend? Telly in Minneapolis.

01:11:33.779 --> 01:11:37.039
I would recommend a pension because you can also

01:11:37.039 --> 01:11:40.079
start a 401k on your own. Oh, that's a good point.

01:11:40.260 --> 01:11:44.460
Yes, yes. Yeah, I was going to suggest that too.

01:11:44.880 --> 01:11:47.460
Yeah, and you might want to start a 401k after

01:11:47.460 --> 01:11:49.939
the pension anyhow because if you do the right

01:11:49.939 --> 01:11:53.699
type of a pension, a 401k, or I mean 401k, not

01:11:53.699 --> 01:11:57.000
a pension, you can actually borrow from it and

01:11:57.000 --> 01:12:00.170
pay yourself back. You can take out, you can,

01:12:00.210 --> 01:12:02.649
there's all different sorts of things you can

01:12:02.649 --> 01:12:05.170
do with a 401k that you can't do with a pension.

01:12:05.369 --> 01:12:08.109
So I'm with Topher and Rob. I think both of them

01:12:08.109 --> 01:12:12.250
is probably the right answer. Yeah, from my own

01:12:12.250 --> 01:12:14.930
personal experience at the postal service, I

01:12:14.930 --> 01:12:18.770
have a pension and the postal version of the

01:12:18.770 --> 01:12:22.010
401k, which is called Drift Savings Plan, or

01:12:22.010 --> 01:12:26.090
TST. So I've got both. Plus I get Social Security

01:12:26.090 --> 01:12:29.880
because I paid into that. So it sounds like I've

01:12:29.880 --> 01:12:31.560
got a bunch of money, but it really doesn't.

01:12:31.739 --> 01:12:37.239
No, no, no, no, no. I got a pension of 401k and

01:12:37.239 --> 01:12:42.039
I still work and I'm still broke. So, yeah. Yeah,

01:12:42.060 --> 01:12:45.239
it helps, but it doesn't mean I can just hang

01:12:45.239 --> 01:12:47.859
out and buy shit all day long. No, although it

01:12:47.859 --> 01:12:54.579
sounds great. Yeah. All right. Next one to Topher.

01:12:54.800 --> 01:12:58.020
Love the fact you're back with the gang. On Douchebags

01:12:58.020 --> 01:13:01.380
Podcast, I mean. Keep your stories coming. We

01:13:01.380 --> 01:13:04.000
love them. Josh in Lillian, upstate New York.

01:13:04.020 --> 01:13:07.720
Another New York listener. All right. I was born

01:13:07.720 --> 01:13:10.539
in Rochester, New York, so I think that's a little

01:13:10.539 --> 01:13:13.380
connection there. There you go. He has a New

01:13:13.380 --> 01:13:16.359
York sense of humor, maybe. I don't know. Could

01:13:16.359 --> 01:13:18.880
be. Yeah, let's see if we get anybody specifically

01:13:18.880 --> 01:13:21.840
from Rochester. Actually, I think my parents

01:13:21.840 --> 01:13:24.420
were living in Greece, which is like a suburb

01:13:24.420 --> 01:13:28.140
of Rochester. Oh, wow. Okay. If anybody lives

01:13:28.140 --> 01:13:30.779
in Greece, New York, let me know, because that's

01:13:30.779 --> 01:13:37.880
where my parents were living in 1961. Okay. All

01:13:37.880 --> 01:13:42.659
right. Next one. Mark, you are a pro at brushing

01:13:42.659 --> 01:13:44.899
the edge of naughty without going full -blown

01:13:44.899 --> 01:13:49.819
raunchy. I disagree with that on this one. You

01:13:49.819 --> 01:13:55.340
don't know. I do have a challenge for you, though.

01:13:55.819 --> 01:13:58.739
I'm asking for you to cut down on the cuss words.

01:13:58.859 --> 01:14:01.800
Maybe a few here and there, but you definitely

01:14:01.800 --> 01:14:04.640
get on a roll with them sometimes, you think?

01:14:08.979 --> 01:14:17.619
That is so ironic. I know, I guess not. I love

01:14:17.619 --> 01:14:21.640
the content. I would just enjoy it more without

01:14:21.640 --> 01:14:24.220
so many bad words. Thank you, Bill in Nashville.

01:14:26.530 --> 01:14:30.869
I get it. I get it. Yeah, sure. I won't cuss

01:14:30.869 --> 01:14:36.970
anymore. Yeah, I'm not worried. Fuckhead. Alright.

01:14:38.989 --> 01:14:43.029
No, thank you, Bill. Alright. Mark, were you

01:14:43.029 --> 01:14:45.149
clipping your fingernails on the podcast last

01:14:45.149 --> 01:14:48.489
week? It sure sounded like it. Millie in Nebraska.

01:14:49.489 --> 01:14:52.409
No, it was my toenails, Millie. Thanks for fucking

01:14:52.409 --> 01:15:02.260
ratting me out. Bitch. Fucking asshole caught

01:15:02.260 --> 01:15:08.979
me. Thank you, Millie. I needed to hear it to

01:15:08.979 --> 01:15:12.199
the playback. I could not hear it while we were

01:15:12.199 --> 01:15:14.439
recording, but I heard it on the playback. Me

01:15:14.439 --> 01:15:16.800
too. I didn't hear it during the recording either.

01:15:17.239 --> 01:15:19.479
And then all of a sudden on the playback, it's

01:15:19.479 --> 01:15:31.399
like, snap, snap. And I'm like, oh, crap. Oh,

01:15:31.399 --> 01:15:36.640
I love that. Awesome. Well, that's the end of

01:15:36.640 --> 01:15:39.220
the emails. And, man, I tell you guys, keep them

01:15:39.220 --> 01:15:42.239
coming. The emails are, like, fucking fantastic,

01:15:42.659 --> 01:15:46.720
man. You guys are amazing. Oh, my God. I mean,

01:15:46.800 --> 01:15:50.399
you guys think so? Are the emails not just fantastic?

01:15:51.720 --> 01:15:54.420
They're gold. They are gold. They are gold. You

01:15:54.420 --> 01:15:57.300
guys have a great sense of humor. They're the

01:15:57.300 --> 01:16:02.920
biggest part of our show. I know. Our listeners

01:16:02.920 --> 01:16:10.319
are better than we are. Oh, they are. I've got

01:16:10.319 --> 01:16:12.840
another one, too. I have all the hate emails

01:16:12.840 --> 01:16:15.319
saved to the side, and we're going to have one

01:16:15.319 --> 01:16:18.880
segment where we just read them all off. Ooh,

01:16:18.960 --> 01:16:21.699
I like that. Yeah, there's quite a few of them.

01:16:23.659 --> 01:16:25.760
Oh, you're going to be on a roll that night.

01:16:26.000 --> 01:16:29.520
Oh, fuck yeah. Yep. All right. Do you guys want

01:16:29.520 --> 01:16:31.399
to take our second break and come back, and then

01:16:31.399 --> 01:16:34.039
we'll do Rob's story, then a Topher story, and

01:16:34.039 --> 01:16:35.619
then if we have enough time, we'll get back around

01:16:35.619 --> 01:16:39.479
to me? Okay. All right, we'll be right back.

01:16:43.760 --> 01:16:46.199
Since the dawn of time, weird shit has happened.

01:16:46.399 --> 01:16:49.659
Strange occurrences, unexplained phobias, and

01:16:49.659 --> 01:16:52.340
other odd happenings. Over the next minute, we

01:16:52.340 --> 01:16:54.960
would like to bring you odd, rare phobias and

01:16:54.960 --> 01:16:58.539
conditions. Hutchinson Guilford. Progeria syndrome.

01:16:59.399 --> 01:17:03.560
Cases known on Earth, 100 to possibly 150. This

01:17:03.560 --> 01:17:05.920
causes young children to age quickly, such as

01:17:05.920 --> 01:17:08.420
hair loss, thin, fragile skin, and cardiovascular

01:17:08.420 --> 01:17:11.319
issues, while the child's mental capacity stays

01:17:11.319 --> 01:17:14.479
the same. There is unknown cure and very little

01:17:14.479 --> 01:17:16.840
treatment options. Have you ever wondered what

01:17:16.840 --> 01:17:19.380
something is not? Have you ever looked at something

01:17:19.380 --> 01:17:21.520
and said, hmm, I wonder what the origin of that

01:17:21.520 --> 01:17:25.239
is? Well, so have we. That's why we give you

01:17:25.239 --> 01:17:29.449
The Origin Of. The Coca -Cola Company introduced

01:17:29.449 --> 01:17:34.489
Pepo, marketed as a pepper -type soda. In early

01:17:34.489 --> 01:17:39.050
1972, the beverage, then only sold in Memphis,

01:17:39.149 --> 01:17:42.550
Tennessee market, drew ire from the Dr. Pepper

01:17:42.550 --> 01:17:46.390
Company. Who sued the Coca -Cola Company for

01:17:46.390 --> 01:17:49.850
trademark infringement? In June of that year,

01:17:49.970 --> 01:17:53.369
as the litigation continued, Coca -Cola modified

01:17:53.369 --> 01:17:57.569
the Pepo formula and reintroduced it as... Mr.

01:17:57.649 --> 01:18:01.470
Pibb. The new makeover was marketed as a spicy

01:18:01.470 --> 01:18:06.090
cherry cola and not a pepper -type drink. The

01:18:06.090 --> 01:18:09.909
new formula was sold primarily in Coke soda fountains,

01:18:09.989 --> 01:18:13.710
but was soon bottled and sold with most of the

01:18:13.710 --> 01:18:18.310
Coke products. Today, Mr. Pibb was reintroduced

01:18:18.310 --> 01:18:22.289
after it was rebranded Pibb Extra in the early

01:18:22.289 --> 01:18:26.909
2000s. Heya, Yankers. We often think many things

01:18:26.909 --> 01:18:28.970
are just true because we've heard it our whole

01:18:28.970 --> 01:18:31.729
lives. That's why here at Two Douchebags and

01:18:31.729 --> 01:18:34.289
Microphone, we developed the segment, Not True.

01:18:35.010 --> 01:18:38.029
We investigate and uncover the real truth of

01:18:38.029 --> 01:18:42.109
what happened. We've heard for years that Einstein

01:18:42.109 --> 01:18:44.789
was so intelligent he could not figure out how

01:18:44.789 --> 01:18:48.909
to tie his shoe. The fact is, he disliked wearing

01:18:48.909 --> 01:18:52.489
socks. He would put socks over his shoes to avoid

01:18:52.489 --> 01:18:55.590
tying them. He believed tying shoelaces... was

01:18:55.590 --> 01:18:58.970
an incredible waste of time. So were her crocs

01:18:58.970 --> 01:19:01.670
when Einstein needed them. Miss Gulkenstein was

01:19:01.670 --> 01:19:03.569
tired of Mark and Toe for making sport of her.

01:19:04.029 --> 01:19:06.369
Little did the douchebags know, Miss Gulkenstein

01:19:06.369 --> 01:19:09.090
was a voodoo high priestess when she was younger.

01:19:09.590 --> 01:19:13.510
She grew angry and cast a spell on Rob, changing

01:19:13.510 --> 01:19:18.189
Rob into a capuchin monkey. Mark took Rob to

01:19:18.189 --> 01:19:20.189
a local zoo so he could be with the other monkeys.

01:19:20.489 --> 01:19:24.329
Here are the adventures of Rob, the capuchin

01:19:24.329 --> 01:19:29.649
monkey. Shh, be very quiet. We're going to listen

01:19:29.649 --> 01:19:32.409
in as Rob the capuchin monkey tries to sell the

01:19:32.409 --> 01:19:35.250
rest of the capuchin monkey's amway. Rob has

01:19:35.250 --> 01:19:37.689
always dreamed of becoming a diamond status amway

01:19:37.689 --> 01:20:01.899
as a capuchin monkey. Little did our hero Rob

01:20:01.899 --> 01:20:05.359
know. All the great apes owned stock in Sam's

01:20:05.359 --> 01:20:07.479
Club and became violently pissed off when he

01:20:07.479 --> 01:20:10.239
tried to infringe on their territory. They promptly

01:20:10.239 --> 01:20:12.439
grabbed switches and beat his ass for three days

01:20:12.439 --> 01:20:17.119
straight. Rob could not sit down. Your alarm

01:20:17.119 --> 01:20:21.140
goes off. You sleep through it. You wake up and

01:20:21.140 --> 01:20:24.619
have little time to get ready for work. Because

01:20:24.619 --> 01:20:26.739
of your sleepiness, you are pressed for time.

01:20:27.439 --> 01:20:31.550
So you have to double task. The question, is

01:20:31.550 --> 01:20:33.789
it gross to brush your teeth while taking a dump?

01:20:34.670 --> 01:20:37.770
Submit your answers to 2douches at mail .com.

01:20:42.189 --> 01:20:49.210
Oh, Lord, that man just sawed a puppy in half.

01:20:49.529 --> 01:20:52.609
Hey there, don't worry, I have a clown nose.

01:20:59.500 --> 01:21:03.859
A drunk guy just hit my child! It is okay. I

01:21:03.859 --> 01:21:08.180
have a clown nose. Clown nose! Just put one on

01:21:08.180 --> 01:21:10.840
and you can do anything! Wanna run for office?

01:21:11.079 --> 01:21:14.300
Murder people in public? Just grab a clown nose

01:21:14.300 --> 01:21:17.979
and bam! Everyone laughs! Clown noses are sold

01:21:17.979 --> 01:21:19.500
at gag stores online and pedophile conventions.

01:21:19.739 --> 01:21:22.460
Grab one today and make magic happen. Sometimes

01:21:22.460 --> 01:21:25.520
Mark appears to be in deep thoughts. Usually

01:21:25.520 --> 01:21:27.779
he is contemplating whether to squeeze it toot

01:21:27.779 --> 01:21:31.319
out or save it up for a better place. But I digress.

01:21:32.460 --> 01:21:35.100
Sometimes he does occasionally have a deep thought.

01:21:35.680 --> 01:21:40.779
Now we look in on his brilliance. What if I learned

01:21:40.779 --> 01:21:43.779
telepathy? And then I tried to talk to random

01:21:43.779 --> 01:21:46.659
people. How would I know if they're ignoring

01:21:46.659 --> 01:21:51.680
me? I guess some questions are greater than mankind.

01:21:52.729 --> 01:21:55.149
Hey, my fellow heavy breathers, this is Dash

01:21:55.149 --> 01:22:01.090
Riptide, your music news. Legendary guitarist

01:22:01.090 --> 01:22:04.250
Zach Wilde unretires the grill. The 1981 Gibbs

01:22:04.250 --> 01:22:06.789
and Les Paul for the new Ozzy Osbourne tribute

01:22:06.789 --> 01:22:10.329
track. You know this guitar. It's a bullseye

01:22:10.329 --> 01:22:12.449
Les Paul he made famous in the first few years

01:22:12.449 --> 01:22:15.289
of joining Ozzy. The grill, as the guitar is

01:22:15.289 --> 01:22:17.930
known as, Zach is unretiring the beauty for a

01:22:17.930 --> 01:22:19.949
tribute track saluting the Prince of Darkness.

01:22:20.520 --> 01:22:22.539
No word on when or how the song will hit the

01:22:22.539 --> 01:22:26.020
public. We will keep you posted. This is Gash

01:22:26.020 --> 01:22:29.500
Rooktyne, and that was your music news. If it's

01:22:29.500 --> 01:22:31.939
too loud, you probably have ear damage, just

01:22:31.939 --> 01:22:55.760
like me. To Douchebags and Rockaphone, I am Mark

01:22:55.760 --> 01:22:59.000
here in the Kansas City Metroplex at this extreme

01:22:59.000 --> 01:23:02.520
southern tip of at the Talk is Cheap studio.

01:23:05.699 --> 01:23:11.319
And I am Rob in Wheatland, Missouri, home of

01:23:11.319 --> 01:23:15.000
the Lucas Olds Speedway and Water Track, and

01:23:15.000 --> 01:23:18.520
also home of Hickamost Country Store, where you

01:23:18.520 --> 01:23:21.100
can find all your needs, including a selfie with

01:23:21.100 --> 01:23:33.739
the green thing. studios south of historic Waldo,

01:23:33.760 --> 01:23:37.579
Missouri, and the coffee is brewing, and I'm

01:23:37.579 --> 01:23:42.680
ready to go. All right. Cool. All right, Rob,

01:23:42.859 --> 01:23:48.600
we go to you. All right. Is it that time? Well,

01:23:48.619 --> 01:23:51.899
there is no denying that the Mathersons can have

01:23:51.899 --> 01:23:54.920
some incredible creativity when they want more

01:23:54.920 --> 01:23:58.220
drugs. Yep. And Daniel Thomas from Melbourne

01:23:58.220 --> 01:25:34.529
is a shining example. Ha ha ha! Oh my gosh, man.

01:25:37.989 --> 01:25:40.310
I miss the good old days when we were just stripping

01:25:40.310 --> 01:25:54.050
wire for no reason. Oh man. Yeah, that's a good

01:25:54.050 --> 01:25:58.770
question. How do you get one? Did he have to

01:25:58.770 --> 01:26:05.810
steal it? Thank you, Rob. Wow. You're welcome.

01:26:06.449 --> 01:26:13.529
All right. Topher, let's go to you. Wow. Well,

01:26:13.630 --> 01:26:17.850
I had thought the other day about products that

01:26:17.850 --> 01:26:22.569
lost out to better products or more popular versions.

01:26:22.890 --> 01:26:26.930
Okay. The first one I thought of is probably

01:26:26.930 --> 01:26:30.369
the big example, which is the Sony Betamax versus

01:26:30.369 --> 01:26:45.630
the VHS. 1974 by allowing longer recording times

01:26:45.630 --> 01:26:48.170
and offering cheaper, more accessible players.

01:26:49.510 --> 01:26:54.149
Part of the Betamax problem was Japanese TV shows

01:26:54.149 --> 01:26:57.689
never went for more than an hour. So that was

01:26:57.689 --> 01:26:59.789
all the recording time you had on a cassette.

01:27:00.369 --> 01:27:03.449
While in the United States, you'd have like hour

01:27:03.449 --> 01:27:06.069
and a half movies or up to two hour movies. So

01:27:06.069 --> 01:27:09.510
JVC made it a two hour recording time. And that

01:27:09.510 --> 01:27:18.699
was really the big push there. Wow. The next

01:27:18.699 --> 01:27:22.619
one I have is the Microsoft Zune versus the iPod.

01:27:23.920 --> 01:27:26.979
Launched in 2006 to compete with the iPod, the

01:27:26.979 --> 01:27:31.460
Zune, Z -U -N -E, was a chasing product. Basically,

01:27:31.479 --> 01:27:33.720
it was trying to chase after what had already

01:27:33.720 --> 01:27:37.340
been offered. It offered little reason for consumers

01:27:37.340 --> 01:27:41.819
to switch. It wasn't faster. It didn't have more...

01:27:53.780 --> 01:28:12.550
Oh, yeah. including Warner Brothers, decided

01:28:12.550 --> 01:28:15.689
to exclusively support the Sony -led Blu -ray

01:28:15.689 --> 01:28:20.949
format in 2008. So without the studios releasing

01:28:20.949 --> 01:28:25.649
movies in that format, it was dead. Yeah, wow.

01:28:26.670 --> 01:28:28.850
I didn't know that that's what killed it, but

01:28:28.850 --> 01:28:33.949
that makes sense. I remember when there was the

01:28:33.949 --> 01:28:36.909
battle back and forth, and everybody was wondering

01:28:36.909 --> 01:28:39.770
which was going to be the winner. There were

01:28:39.770 --> 01:28:42.829
players for both available. Yeah. Eventually,

01:28:42.949 --> 01:28:46.449
everyone that had a Toshiba basically had to

01:28:46.449 --> 01:28:49.449
retire it. Yeah, and you know what? And that's

01:28:49.449 --> 01:28:52.529
true, too, because I had no idea. All I knew

01:28:52.529 --> 01:28:55.489
is you've seen Blu -ray everywhere. You know,

01:28:55.510 --> 01:28:57.630
just like one day, just overnight, it, like,

01:28:57.630 --> 01:29:00.210
exploded. And then all of a sudden, everyone's

01:29:00.210 --> 01:29:04.010
getting Blu -ray. So I get it. And now I understand

01:29:04.010 --> 01:29:06.710
why. It's because it was backed up, you know.

01:29:08.319 --> 01:29:11.039
And where Toshiba, they're just like, yeah, fuck

01:29:11.039 --> 01:29:17.539
them. Yep. Anyhow, go ahead. Another one was

01:29:17.539 --> 01:29:21.779
MySpace versus Facebook. Remember MySpace? Yeah.

01:29:21.779 --> 01:29:25.539
That was a long time ago. You can still hear

01:29:25.539 --> 01:29:28.380
references to it in movies and TV shows from

01:29:28.380 --> 01:29:31.779
the time, but it basically lost its dominance

01:29:31.779 --> 01:29:34.760
due to a cluttered user experience and failure

01:29:34.760 --> 01:29:38.250
to innovate Facebook. provided a cleaner, more

01:29:38.250 --> 01:29:41.510
connected social networking experience, and they

01:29:41.510 --> 01:29:44.829
were constantly updating and changing and adapting.

01:29:45.130 --> 01:29:47.449
MySpace was just kind of, you know, well, here

01:29:47.449 --> 01:29:51.829
it is, and that's what it is. People wanted more.

01:29:52.670 --> 01:29:58.329
Yeah. Yep, you're right. MySpace was cute, but

01:29:58.329 --> 01:30:01.909
then when Facebook came out, it was more encompassing

01:30:01.909 --> 01:30:06.590
and accommodating. Yeah, MySpace is more for

01:30:06.590 --> 01:30:10.850
music groups, too, anyhow, pretty much. Yeah,

01:30:10.890 --> 01:30:13.029
I remember that being a selling feature, like

01:30:13.029 --> 01:30:16.369
for performers, specifically musicians, like

01:30:16.369 --> 01:30:19.949
for your fans to go. They tried doing that again

01:30:19.949 --> 01:30:22.170
with a site called OnlyFans, but that's just

01:30:22.170 --> 01:30:28.710
porn now. It's just porn. It backs up your point

01:30:28.710 --> 01:30:32.050
about man will porn up anything. Remember when

01:30:32.050 --> 01:30:34.579
you said that? Well, that's classic right there.

01:30:35.699 --> 01:30:41.659
Yeah. Maybe if they start a site called OnlyMusicFan

01:30:41.659 --> 01:30:45.359
.com Oh, they'd still porn that up. It'd be someone

01:30:45.359 --> 01:30:46.779
fucking a trombone. It'd take a year or two longer

01:30:46.779 --> 01:30:49.939
before they'd porn that up. You'd get somebody

01:30:49.939 --> 01:30:53.279
trying to fuck a trombone. Let's get the flute

01:30:53.279 --> 01:30:57.640
up their ass. Hey, look at this pan flute. Hey,

01:30:57.680 --> 01:30:59.340
get that out of your ass. I've got to play that

01:30:59.340 --> 01:31:06.979
in a little bit. Oh, I'm sorry, whoever. I just

01:31:06.979 --> 01:31:09.260
got raunchy. I forgot his name. I apologize.

01:31:09.500 --> 01:31:11.979
Sorry about that. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I'm going to

01:31:11.979 --> 01:31:14.899
watch that. I really am. You guys are going to

01:31:14.899 --> 01:31:16.479
help me, right? You're going to help me watch

01:31:16.479 --> 01:31:18.800
that, right? Yes. Yeah, okay, thank you. Oh,

01:31:18.840 --> 01:31:23.720
you're a hero. Rob is smart. He wants nothing

01:31:23.720 --> 01:31:29.460
to do with it. I've got to watch myself. All

01:31:29.460 --> 01:31:34.739
right, Topher, is that all of it? Oh, okay. No,

01:31:34.779 --> 01:31:37.779
go ahead. We're pretty good. Okay. Remember the

01:31:37.779 --> 01:31:41.680
Heinz easy ketchup that came in green and purple?

01:31:42.060 --> 01:31:46.119
Yeah. Yes. Yeah, that lost out big to just regular

01:31:46.119 --> 01:31:48.319
old red ketchup because nobody really wanted

01:31:48.319 --> 01:31:52.539
to squirt that shit on their food. It didn't

01:31:52.539 --> 01:31:55.880
look right. No, it looked spoiled. It was just

01:31:55.880 --> 01:31:59.279
you. We used to take like blue food coloring.

01:31:59.840 --> 01:32:02.279
and go to like McDonald's or White Castle or

01:32:02.279 --> 01:32:04.520
something and mix it in with our ketchup just

01:32:04.520 --> 01:32:08.880
to freak people out. They'd walk in and you'd

01:32:08.880 --> 01:32:13.500
be eating some sort of a fucking deep purplish

01:32:13.500 --> 01:32:16.640
looking blackish like fungus looking stuff, putting

01:32:16.640 --> 01:32:20.060
it on your fries and like, huh? It was funny.

01:32:21.180 --> 01:32:25.300
Anyhow, go ahead. You know what's fun to do at

01:32:25.300 --> 01:32:29.500
a McDonald's is take one of your drink lids And,

01:32:29.500 --> 01:32:31.239
you know, turn it upside down and fill it with

01:32:31.239 --> 01:32:34.000
ketchup. And then walk up to the front counter

01:32:34.000 --> 01:32:41.539
and say, hey, look, I got my McPeriod. Oh, that

01:32:41.539 --> 01:32:49.899
is wrong in so many ways. They just love that

01:32:49.899 --> 01:32:53.510
at McDonald's when you do that to them. Yes.

01:32:54.970 --> 01:32:56.810
Everyone's like, hey, come here, guys, come here.

01:32:56.930 --> 01:32:58.569
Yeah, all you cooks and everything, come over

01:32:58.569 --> 01:33:02.250
here, the drive -thru guy, come on. Can you do

01:33:02.250 --> 01:33:14.310
that again? All right. Okay, well, I have one

01:33:14.310 --> 01:33:18.289
last one. This is a pretty obvious one, but I

01:33:18.289 --> 01:33:25.670
didn't think of it. I had to look it up. for

01:33:25.670 --> 01:33:28.270
quite a while. Yeah, it was Redbox at first,

01:33:28.270 --> 01:33:33.109
wasn't it? Yeah, yeah, it was Redbox at first.

01:33:33.449 --> 01:33:36.710
Was it Redbox at first and then it turned to

01:33:36.710 --> 01:33:43.909
Netflix? I don't remember it being Redbox. I

01:33:43.909 --> 01:33:47.430
remember Netflix being strictly through the mail,

01:33:47.550 --> 01:33:50.430
whereas Blockbuster had physical stores and through

01:33:50.430 --> 01:33:53.170
the mail. So I thought, well, Blockbuster's going

01:33:53.170 --> 01:33:58.100
to be new. with the digital streaming revolution.

01:34:01.260 --> 01:34:04.920
And Blockbuster kept relying on physical stores

01:34:04.920 --> 01:34:07.159
that you had to get out of your house and go

01:34:07.159 --> 01:34:11.180
drive to. With Netflix, now you could just turn

01:34:11.180 --> 01:34:14.460
on your TV and get what you wanted. You don't

01:34:14.460 --> 01:34:16.659
have to worry about, do they have a copy? Is

01:34:16.659 --> 01:34:20.060
it going to be broken? You don't have to leave

01:34:20.060 --> 01:34:21.760
the house to go get it. You don't have to return

01:34:21.760 --> 01:34:27.989
it. returning back once the digital streaming

01:34:27.989 --> 01:34:32.909
happens. Oh, yeah. And no fee for return at late.

01:34:33.789 --> 01:34:37.350
Oh, exactly. Oh, that's a great point, Rob. Yeah,

01:34:37.369 --> 01:34:40.750
they used to just destroy us on that. Oh, yeah.

01:34:40.930 --> 01:34:48.329
Yeah, that's... Yeah. Yeah, Netflix is so convenient,

01:34:48.369 --> 01:34:50.510
and that's why they took over. There's actually

01:34:50.510 --> 01:34:53.310
one Blockbuster store left, I think, in California

01:34:53.310 --> 01:34:58.619
somewhere. Oh, wow. Yeah, I think so. I think

01:34:58.619 --> 01:35:01.000
it's in California. Yeah, and it's pretty much

01:35:01.000 --> 01:35:04.039
just open for nostalgia. People probably go in

01:35:04.039 --> 01:35:05.899
there and get something, just, you know, they

01:35:05.899 --> 01:35:08.380
take their picture out in front of it. They go,

01:35:08.460 --> 01:35:10.840
hey, guess where I'm at? And then the younger

01:35:10.840 --> 01:35:12.640
people are like, I don't know. What the fuck

01:35:12.640 --> 01:35:18.399
is that? So, all right. You got any more, Topher?

01:35:20.359 --> 01:35:23.439
That was my story. Oh, okay. All right. Thank

01:35:23.439 --> 01:35:26.439
you. Do you think we have time to do a Jeffy

01:35:26.439 --> 01:35:29.420
X list with a small story, or do you want to

01:35:29.420 --> 01:35:34.979
just save it for next time? What do you say,

01:35:35.039 --> 01:35:40.500
Rob? I don't care. Let's go for it. Okay, all

01:35:40.500 --> 01:35:45.739
right. Let's go for it. Snack Pack Dr. Pepper

01:35:45.739 --> 01:35:49.739
Juicy Gels are a new, officially licensed, sweet,

01:35:49.859 --> 01:35:53.100
spicy, gelatin snack. Scheduled to hit major

01:35:53.100 --> 01:35:58.020
U .S. retailers in June of 2026. Announced these

01:35:58.020 --> 01:36:01.420
cups aim to bring the iconic bold flavor of the

01:36:01.420 --> 01:36:05.359
soda to spoonable, lunchbox -friendly format.

01:36:06.960 --> 01:36:11.920
So, yeah, they're going to be like Jell -O. You

01:36:11.920 --> 01:36:14.920
know how Jell -O... Yeah. Yeah. It's going to

01:36:14.920 --> 01:36:17.000
be... They're like those Jell -O cups. Yeah.

01:36:17.060 --> 01:36:19.960
Yeah, this is going to be the same thing. To

01:36:19.960 --> 01:36:22.060
me, this sounds awful. What do you guys think?

01:36:23.760 --> 01:36:28.140
I don't see that really being a thing. There's

01:36:28.140 --> 01:36:31.520
so much to be said for the carbonation being

01:36:31.520 --> 01:36:33.939
a big part of the flavor. Yes. Because if you

01:36:33.939 --> 01:36:37.920
ever drink it flat, it's gross. I don't know

01:36:37.920 --> 01:36:41.220
how you're going to replicate the way the carbonation

01:36:41.220 --> 01:36:45.170
makes it taste. I agree. Flat anything is horrible,

01:36:45.250 --> 01:36:49.470
so yeah. So, well, Jeffy X got a hold of this

01:36:49.470 --> 01:36:53.270
story, and he decided to go around to these different

01:36:53.270 --> 01:36:57.130
places, these different corporations, and Jeffy

01:36:57.130 --> 01:36:59.489
X always sneaks in there. He's almost been killed

01:36:59.489 --> 01:37:03.850
how many times, guys? 30? Oh, at least. Yeah.

01:37:05.149 --> 01:37:07.409
He's really good. He sneaks into these places,

01:37:07.409 --> 01:37:10.010
and he gets these lists of these products that

01:37:10.010 --> 01:37:13.569
fail. You know, they do these products, and then

01:37:13.569 --> 01:37:16.729
they take them to focus panels and groups. And

01:37:16.729 --> 01:37:19.250
then, you know, if they deny them, they pretty

01:37:19.250 --> 01:37:22.630
much can the whole thing. So Jeffy X gets these

01:37:22.630 --> 01:37:25.149
lists before they get out. But these corporations

01:37:25.149 --> 01:37:28.930
don't want him out, so they keep trying to catch

01:37:28.930 --> 01:37:33.319
him. And anyhow, Rob took and embroidered him

01:37:33.319 --> 01:37:36.680
some Jeffy X underwear. It has an X on the front

01:37:36.680 --> 01:37:39.140
and Jeffy on the back. But the thing about this

01:37:39.140 --> 01:37:41.939
underwear that Rob embroidered him, he put a

01:37:41.939 --> 01:37:44.960
special Stephen Piercy pouch in the front of

01:37:44.960 --> 01:37:47.560
the underwear. And that is the old glam band

01:37:47.560 --> 01:37:50.760
rat, Stephen Piercy, supposedly had a pouch sewn

01:37:50.760 --> 01:37:53.380
into a spandex so he could put a sock or two

01:37:53.380 --> 01:37:56.479
to look better to maybe some females and maybe

01:37:56.479 --> 01:38:00.779
gay males, right? Yeah, look. Look a little plumper

01:38:00.779 --> 01:38:02.859
down there. You know, we're sure Jeffy X doesn't

01:38:02.859 --> 01:38:05.119
need it, but, you know, Rob did that as a courtesy.

01:38:06.920 --> 01:38:11.220
Well, I try to help people out, you know. Yeah,

01:38:11.220 --> 01:38:12.960
I know. It's like, hey, you need a little help.

01:38:13.760 --> 01:38:16.760
I'm a giving person. Well, yeah, yeah. A cold

01:38:16.760 --> 01:38:18.680
day, you're going to need that, right? I mean,

01:38:18.720 --> 01:38:20.800
I don't care how you're hanging. Cold day, you

01:38:20.800 --> 01:38:23.319
know. It's like, hey. And also keep your nuts

01:38:23.319 --> 01:38:27.029
warm, too, right? Yeah. Did you slip a hand warmer

01:38:27.029 --> 01:38:31.250
down into that little pouch? Oh, hey! I never

01:38:31.250 --> 01:38:33.989
saw that. Oh, hell yeah. Jeffy X, if you're listening,

01:38:34.109 --> 01:38:39.210
there you go. He also embroidered him a Sgt.

01:38:39.310 --> 01:38:42.149
Pepper's outfit, which now he got him seven because

01:38:42.149 --> 01:38:44.470
he refused to take it off. He's a huge Beatles

01:38:44.470 --> 01:38:47.270
fan. It turned black. It smelled horrible. He

01:38:47.270 --> 01:38:52.239
would not take it off. And so, Rob? Made him

01:38:52.239 --> 01:38:54.840
seven more of the beautiful white suits that

01:38:54.840 --> 01:38:57.680
are featured, the Beatles are featured on the

01:38:57.680 --> 01:39:01.020
back of the Sgt. Pepper's album, all wearing.

01:39:01.380 --> 01:39:04.199
And so Jeffy X loves that. And now he's got one

01:39:04.199 --> 01:39:06.340
for each day so he can have one dry cleaned and

01:39:06.340 --> 01:39:08.800
then he can wear one and do it and so forth.

01:39:09.159 --> 01:39:12.260
And then finally, he also embroidered him a flying

01:39:12.260 --> 01:39:16.300
bat suit, which he wears at night. But he wears

01:39:16.300 --> 01:39:19.960
it over his Sgt. Pepper outfit because he loves

01:39:19.960 --> 01:39:23.260
that. Yeah. But he flies around. He likes to

01:39:23.260 --> 01:39:25.579
play Batman. He does different stuff. He plays

01:39:25.579 --> 01:39:30.039
tricks on people. It's pretty cool. He told me

01:39:30.039 --> 01:39:33.000
it did save him the other night, though. He had

01:39:33.000 --> 01:39:37.159
to jump off the smoker's building. Oh! Yeah,

01:39:37.619 --> 01:39:40.819
that's what that was about. Yeah, he accidentally...

01:39:40.819 --> 01:39:43.779
He's thankful for the Batsuit. Yeah, he butt

01:39:43.779 --> 01:39:46.079
dialed me when all that was going on. All I just

01:39:46.079 --> 01:39:49.239
heard was a bunch of guns firing and people screaming.

01:39:49.520 --> 01:39:51.859
Yeah. Yeah, I was really worried about it. You

01:39:51.859 --> 01:39:54.340
wouldn't think a garbage smoker would have guns,

01:39:54.479 --> 01:39:57.420
but they did. I know, yeah. Wow. He was smuggling

01:39:57.420 --> 01:40:00.399
out some cool shit, is my guess. Yeah, he was.

01:40:00.960 --> 01:40:03.979
But me, I'm a simple guy. I gave him $2 ,500

01:40:03.979 --> 01:40:07.699
for beer and hookers and drugs or to buy his

01:40:07.699 --> 01:40:14.300
mom something, and I didn't care which. So, Jeffy

01:40:14.300 --> 01:40:17.560
X, he compiled a list of soda flavors that have

01:40:17.560 --> 01:40:23.560
failed. So, the first one is NyQuil -flavored

01:40:23.560 --> 01:40:33.100
soda. Didn't hit. That's terrible. The blue coma.

01:40:33.420 --> 01:40:38.949
No, no, no. No, thank you. So I think we can

01:40:38.949 --> 01:40:40.869
all agree with that, right? The NyQuil -flavored

01:40:40.869 --> 01:40:44.989
soda is probably right. Yeah. Yeah. That's a

01:40:44.989 --> 01:40:48.270
big no. All right. Well, they hit that one okay.

01:40:48.350 --> 01:40:51.850
So the next one is candy corn -flavored soda.

01:40:52.350 --> 01:40:56.630
Oh. Yeah. No, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no.

01:40:57.810 --> 01:41:00.829
Candy corn is evil. That makes my teeth hurt.

01:41:01.729 --> 01:41:04.970
I don't think I've ever even had that idea before.

01:41:11.640 --> 01:41:15.680
Candy corn came from Satan's asshole. I swear.

01:41:16.479 --> 01:41:30.439
Yeah. Hi, Mark. I'm glad you can make it. Satan?

01:41:30.600 --> 01:41:34.399
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're down here. Sorry. Here,

01:41:34.439 --> 01:41:36.630
have some candy corn. I just want you to shit

01:41:36.630 --> 01:41:41.449
that out. This is hell, dickhead. Eat it. All

01:41:41.449 --> 01:41:48.210
right, the next one. Diet eggnog soda. Yeah.

01:41:48.930 --> 01:41:56.689
Diet. Diet and eggnog. Oh, that would taste like,

01:41:56.750 --> 01:41:58.789
well, it would taste like a bleached asshole,

01:41:58.949 --> 01:42:03.069
probably. Probably so. And candy corn that came

01:42:03.069 --> 01:42:09.699
out of Satan's anus. I made you some pellets,

01:42:09.760 --> 01:42:14.520
Mark. No! No! God, I'm sorry. What do I need

01:42:14.520 --> 01:42:21.600
to do? Get me out of here. All right. Next one.

01:42:21.680 --> 01:42:29.380
Sweet Baby Ray's Diet Cola. Just like trying

01:42:29.380 --> 01:42:36.279
to drink that. And it's Diet Kaboom. Maybe if

01:42:36.279 --> 01:42:39.640
it was beer, but not diet soda. Yeah, yeah. Beer

01:42:39.640 --> 01:42:44.560
would be okay, but yeah, yeah. Duh. Yeah. You

01:42:44.560 --> 01:42:46.960
guys remember that time that Schlitz tried to

01:42:46.960 --> 01:42:50.319
put out that menthol beer? That was a big tank.

01:42:50.579 --> 01:42:53.199
Oh, yeah. That lasted about 20 seconds. Vaguely.

01:42:53.739 --> 01:42:57.020
Vaguely. Yeah, it was on the market about 20

01:42:57.020 --> 01:43:01.239
seconds, and that was it. Yeah. Yeah. You talk

01:43:01.239 --> 01:43:05.659
about pandering. I think my dad actually got

01:43:05.659 --> 01:43:09.140
a six -pack of it once. Did he really? Yeah.

01:43:09.479 --> 01:43:15.000
Oh, man, too bad you can't find that. Considering

01:43:15.000 --> 01:43:19.100
that eventually Cool Cigarettes was sued for

01:43:19.100 --> 01:43:22.640
targeting black Americans. That's what I'm saying.

01:43:23.460 --> 01:43:26.539
Menthol Schlitz beer would have fallen under

01:43:26.539 --> 01:43:28.819
that same category if you're targeting black

01:43:28.819 --> 01:43:32.479
people for alcohol consumption. Yeah, no, that's

01:43:32.479 --> 01:43:36.779
exactly how... That is exactly how I viewed it

01:43:36.779 --> 01:43:39.340
when you said that. That's exactly how I viewed

01:43:39.340 --> 01:43:42.560
it. It was pandering to the black people. Alright.

01:43:43.659 --> 01:43:46.220
You guys remember that scene in The Godfather

01:43:46.220 --> 01:43:49.840
when all the heads of the families were discussing

01:43:49.840 --> 01:43:53.119
whether they were going to sell heroin or not?

01:43:53.300 --> 01:43:56.380
And one of the bosses said, you know, we'll only

01:43:56.380 --> 01:44:00.789
sell it in, not in our neighborhood, but in the

01:44:00.789 --> 01:44:03.029
black neighborhoods and he said their animals

01:44:03.029 --> 01:44:06.149
let them loose their souls and I thought that

01:44:06.149 --> 01:44:11.069
attitude probably has continued through corporate

01:44:11.069 --> 01:44:14.210
America it's like where do we dump the crap oh

01:44:14.210 --> 01:44:16.310
well here we'll just dump it here where nobody

01:44:16.310 --> 01:44:22.010
cares about them I think that still goes on yeah

01:44:22.010 --> 01:44:24.970
I think I agree with you it does still go on

01:44:24.970 --> 01:44:30.930
I agree yeah it's yeah Disturbing, to say the

01:44:30.930 --> 01:44:35.909
least. Yep. All right. The next soda that failed

01:44:35.909 --> 01:44:43.369
was salmon slash poke. Hell no. Yeah, yeah. We're

01:44:43.369 --> 01:44:46.369
going to have this discussion about seafood now.

01:44:46.569 --> 01:44:50.210
Oh, dinner. And especially raw chunks in poke.

01:44:50.289 --> 01:44:56.789
Oh. Yeah, yeah. No thank you. The next one would

01:44:56.789 --> 01:45:03.779
be blue cheese. flavored soda. Oof. Okay, I would

01:45:03.779 --> 01:45:07.619
get into that. Okay, well, to me that didn't

01:45:07.619 --> 01:45:11.420
sound horrible, but not my preferred one, you

01:45:11.420 --> 01:45:13.279
know. I'd really have a good one. I would at

01:45:13.279 --> 01:45:17.319
least try it. I think I'll stick with Mexican

01:45:17.319 --> 01:45:18.460
Coca -Cola. Maybe you can like bite into a buffalo

01:45:18.460 --> 01:45:20.600
wing and then take a drink of the blue cheese

01:45:20.600 --> 01:45:23.319
soda. Ooh, now you're talking. There you go,

01:45:23.319 --> 01:45:26.939
yeah. Yeah, you go to Buffalo Wild Wings and

01:45:26.939 --> 01:45:31.810
go have a blue cheese cola and munch down some

01:45:31.810 --> 01:45:36.069
wings. Hell yeah. Or maybe a blue cheese ice

01:45:36.069 --> 01:45:39.090
cream sundae. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. There you

01:45:39.090 --> 01:45:46.189
go. Put wings on it as decorations. Yeah, I say

01:45:46.189 --> 01:45:48.810
we save that one. Okay, alright. That one's getting

01:45:48.810 --> 01:45:52.609
spared. The next one would be a Duke mayonnaise

01:45:52.609 --> 01:45:59.569
spritzer. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's absolutely

01:45:59.569 --> 01:46:06.210
no. Yeah, yeah, Jeffy, you're absolutely right.

01:46:06.250 --> 01:46:09.310
That is horrible. The next one would be crusty.

01:46:09.310 --> 01:46:14.449
That just curled my stomach. Too much mayo on

01:46:14.449 --> 01:46:16.890
anything is disgusting. Imagine that being a

01:46:16.890 --> 01:46:19.869
spritzer. And then Duke mayo is a little bit

01:46:19.869 --> 01:46:25.439
spicier than regular mayo, so, oh, yeah. All

01:46:25.439 --> 01:46:27.560
right, the next one would be Crest Toothpaste

01:46:27.560 --> 01:46:34.439
Lemon Lime Soda. Wow. If you want fresh breath.

01:46:34.439 --> 01:46:36.640
I don't think I could swallow that without puking.

01:46:36.680 --> 01:46:40.260
I really don't think I could. No, no. Matter

01:46:40.260 --> 01:46:42.079
of fact, I'm about ready to blow chunks thinking

01:46:42.079 --> 01:46:47.840
about that. Right now, I could do like one of

01:46:47.840 --> 01:46:50.800
those prolific vomiting, one of the ones that

01:46:50.800 --> 01:46:53.409
just like. Goes for a ways. Like, I could do

01:46:53.409 --> 01:46:56.109
a three -foot mountain -like fountain of puke

01:46:56.109 --> 01:47:00.050
right now thinking of that. Yes. Yep. You'd be

01:47:00.050 --> 01:47:02.170
like the Plaza Fountain. People come throwing

01:47:02.170 --> 01:47:05.449
coins at you. Hey, what's this? Oh, this is a

01:47:05.449 --> 01:47:08.489
fountain of puke. What? That poor guy? Well,

01:47:08.569 --> 01:47:12.250
he accidentally drank some Crest Toothpaste Lemon

01:47:12.250 --> 01:47:15.029
Lime Soda. Oh! Oh, okay. All right, I got it.

01:47:15.149 --> 01:47:17.350
Throw him 20. Go ahead and throw him 20, the

01:47:17.350 --> 01:47:21.100
poor guy. I'm going to go see if I got some silver

01:47:21.100 --> 01:47:25.960
I can throw in there. All right. The next one

01:47:25.960 --> 01:47:30.399
would be garlic hummus root beer. Yeah, yeah.

01:47:30.600 --> 01:47:34.920
Yeah, I would agree with that. Yep. And then

01:47:34.920 --> 01:47:38.739
finally, now I'm kind of on, I don't know, this

01:47:38.739 --> 01:47:40.939
one might be good. I'll listen to you guys on

01:47:40.939 --> 01:47:50.090
this. Chili dog flavored ginger ale. Okay, it

01:47:50.090 --> 01:47:52.590
might have possibilities. I think I could work

01:47:52.590 --> 01:47:55.069
with that because ginger ale doesn't have a real

01:47:55.069 --> 01:48:00.090
sweet taste. Right, ginger is a good flavor.

01:48:00.149 --> 01:48:02.090
It kind of has some heat to it. That would go

01:48:02.090 --> 01:48:04.850
good with chili. Yeah, you know, I think that

01:48:04.850 --> 01:48:07.949
that would work myself. But, you know, focus

01:48:07.949 --> 01:48:10.489
panels are fickle. They turned it down. I don't

01:48:10.489 --> 01:48:17.189
know. I could see that working. My vote is I

01:48:17.189 --> 01:48:21.600
would try that. You know, they have the barbecued

01:48:21.600 --> 01:48:25.859
flavored corn chips. Yeah, that's true. It works.

01:48:26.119 --> 01:48:30.380
Yeah. Hmm. I think we could work with that one.

01:48:30.460 --> 01:48:32.520
I think that that one might actually be good.

01:48:33.560 --> 01:48:39.140
I'd be willing to try it. Me too. You, Rob? Yeah,

01:48:39.159 --> 01:48:41.539
I'd be willing to try it. Yeah, plus chili dog

01:48:41.539 --> 01:48:45.699
flavored anything. Yeah. Yeah. Hell yeah. One

01:48:45.699 --> 01:48:47.920
of my favorite meals. Yeah, yeah, that's like

01:48:47.920 --> 01:48:50.920
one of the wonders of life, chili dogs. Oh, man.

01:48:51.500 --> 01:48:53.699
Yeah, I suppose. One of them was some strawberry

01:48:53.699 --> 01:49:00.340
quick. Oh, yes. Oh, yeah. Yeah, strawberry quick

01:49:00.340 --> 01:49:05.239
was amazing, wasn't it? Oh, that was just a massive

01:49:05.239 --> 01:49:08.340
sugar bomb, but it was so good. Oh, yeah. I used

01:49:08.340 --> 01:49:10.819
to open up that little metal can on the top of

01:49:10.819 --> 01:49:15.819
it, and I'd hear angels and harps. And I'd see

01:49:15.819 --> 01:49:18.340
that little bunny there looking at me. The little

01:49:18.340 --> 01:49:25.119
goofy bunny. Yes. I was away with some chocolate.

01:49:25.500 --> 01:49:27.739
Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, the chocolate was good, too.

01:49:27.840 --> 01:49:30.300
You couldn't go wrong with Nestle Quick. Ah,

01:49:30.300 --> 01:49:33.680
yeah. And then they came out with a Hershey's

01:49:33.680 --> 01:49:38.260
powder. Did anybody like that? Uh, that was okay.

01:49:38.600 --> 01:49:41.119
It wasn't as good as Nestle, though. It was a

01:49:41.119 --> 01:49:43.460
little bold. Yeah, it wasn't quick. Yeah, quick

01:49:43.460 --> 01:49:47.430
was the best. And plus, that little bunny was

01:49:47.430 --> 01:49:51.130
so cute, wasn't he? It was. What was his name?

01:49:51.189 --> 01:49:53.270
Billy the Bunny or something? Or Jimmy the Bunny?

01:49:53.329 --> 01:49:56.949
Or Frankie the Bunny? Or Willie? I don't remember.

01:49:56.949 --> 01:49:58.710
I think it was Willie the Bunny. Yeah, little

01:49:58.710 --> 01:50:00.270
Willie the Bunny. It was probably something like

01:50:00.270 --> 01:50:14.369
Horatio. It was Engelbert. Guadalupe. Yeah, here's

01:50:14.369 --> 01:50:17.409
a Spanish one. Guadalupe is a Spanish bunny.

01:50:18.789 --> 01:50:24.710
Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Anybody have

01:50:24.710 --> 01:50:26.590
anything else? You want to end this? You want

01:50:26.590 --> 01:50:30.430
to keep it going? I don't care. That's all I

01:50:30.430 --> 01:50:32.789
got. I got to go to work in the morning. All

01:50:32.789 --> 01:50:35.529
right. Yeah, I'm good to wrap it up. I guess

01:50:35.529 --> 01:50:37.409
we got to save something for Wednesday, right?

01:50:38.970 --> 01:50:43.539
Yeah. Yep. And also for... Topher, we're doing

01:50:43.539 --> 01:50:49.140
ours Wednesday, right? Wednesday afternoon? Tentatively.

01:50:49.340 --> 01:50:53.699
I've got to see... I'm taking my dog to the dentist

01:50:53.699 --> 01:50:55.819
that morning. I don't know how her recovery is

01:50:55.819 --> 01:50:57.500
going to be, so I might need to stay with her

01:50:57.500 --> 01:51:04.319
in the afternoon. Okay. We'll have to look at

01:51:04.319 --> 01:51:06.659
it some more. Tuesday afternoon, you're available,

01:51:06.859 --> 01:51:10.680
right? Yeah. Okay, let me get back with you on

01:51:10.680 --> 01:51:12.460
that. I think maybe I might be able to swing

01:51:12.460 --> 01:51:16.840
that. Okay. Okay. All right. If not, I guess

01:51:16.840 --> 01:51:20.619
we could always just do it from your place. This

01:51:20.619 --> 01:51:23.800
is true. Okay. So tentatively, we're going to

01:51:23.800 --> 01:51:25.699
see about Tuesday. If not, we'll do it Wednesday

01:51:25.699 --> 01:51:29.739
afternoon. Yeah. Okay. All right. Sounds good.

01:51:30.560 --> 01:51:34.279
All right. Anyhow, everybody, thank you for listening.

01:51:36.140 --> 01:51:38.140
You know what? I mean, I think I'm going to save

01:51:38.140 --> 01:51:40.539
the go fuck yourselves for the ones at the city

01:51:40.539 --> 01:51:43.899
market. So, thank you guys for listening. Have

01:51:43.899 --> 01:51:47.960
a good night, assholes. Good night, assholes.

01:51:49.140 --> 01:51:51.819
Good night, assholes. Eh, forget it. Go fuck

01:51:51.819 --> 01:51:58.340
yourself. Oh, no. Looks like the show's over,

01:51:58.479 --> 01:52:01.840
kids. Mark has explosive diarrhea and can't afford

01:52:01.840 --> 01:52:05.210
a wireless mic. Fear not, assholes. They'll be

01:52:05.210 --> 01:52:06.970
back invading your ear holes soon.