WEBVTT

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Well, well, well. We see you made it back. That's

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right. It's time for your favorite podcast, Two

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Douchebags and Microphone, live from the historic

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river market in downtown Kansas City, Missouri.

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But only on Tuesdays and sometimes Wednesdays.

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Otherwise, you get live from the Duck Wine Studio

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in Wheatland, Missouri, and the Talk is Cheap

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studio from Extreme Southern Tent for the Kansas

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City Metroplex and the surrounding areas. Let's

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grab a seat and see what kind of garbage they

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throw at us today. Enjoy. Welcome again. We're

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happy you chose us. Come on in. Wash yourself

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off. Would you enjoy a bourbon and coke? There's

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a liquor store down the road. If you go, I need

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rolling papers. Well, since you're here, let's

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get this daily douchebag pledge out of the way.

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All right, bitches, swing your hips and pelvic

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thrust. Shout it out with me. I, Joe or Jane

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Listener, promise to download every podcast.

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I, Joe or Jane Listener, promise to make all

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friends, family members and workmates download

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this show. I, Joe or Jane Listener, promise to

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grab idle computers, work computers, friends

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computers, community computers and other assorted

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phones and listening devices and download the

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show from there. I, Joe or Jane Listener, will

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download the show. and constantly barrage everyone

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with show name and platforms. I, Joe or Jane

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Listener, promise to wear a chicken costume and

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scream the show's name from my front yard. And

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finally, because of our 13 -year -old boy humor,

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we must go to Knobloch Cooter Licking in Uranus,

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Missouri to take selfies with the signs. If you

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go to Uranus, go to the fudge factory. Yes, there's

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a fudge factory in Uranus. No joke. Here at Two

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Douchebags and a Microphone, we don't stand behind

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our journalistic integrity. Go ahead and assume

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we got the story wrong. At least we admit it.

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Not like all those other guys, we can and will

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lie if it makes the story better. Two douchebags

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and a microphone. Here we go. Signs that you

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might be a pussy. Signs that you might be a pussy.

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If you've ever had Phil Collins or Oingo Boingo

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posters on your wall. If you've ever raised your

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coffee mug or tea glass with your pinky extended.

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If you often lotion up your hands. With no apparent

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reason. If you like poached eggs, if you sing

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along to Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, or if you have

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ever wore a pair of Crocs, even just trying them

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out, you are a pussy. Hey there. We all have

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those annoying co -workers that do nothing. There's

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nothing we can do about it because HR departments

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are running scared of lawyers. So we have to

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work with these worthless pieces of garbage.

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But we have to communicate about them without

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them knowing about it. Here at Two Douchebags

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Microphone, we developed a way that you can speak

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about them right in front of them without them

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knowing about it. Stay tuned. Cordless only works

00:03:30.860 --> 00:03:36.659
40 minutes. E .T. always wants to go home. Kit

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Kat always taking a break. Muffler always exhausted.

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Seaweed floats around all day. Sensor light.

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Only works when someone walks by. Wheelbarrow

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only works when pushed. Hey, my fellow heavy

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breeders. This is Dash Riptide. Your music news.

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Metal band Slayer fans unite. Your boys in Slayer

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have a new hot sauce named Rain and Blood. This

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sauce's heat meter is off the hook. So use with

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caution or be a dick. And put it on your buddy's

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sandwich. Maybe not. This is Gash Ruktine, and

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that was your music news. If it's too loud, you

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probably have ear damage, just like me. And now,

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Deep Thoughts with Mark. You know, go to bed,

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you'll feel better is pretty much the human version

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of, did you turn it off and turn it back on again?

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Oh, hey, look at the time. It's time for the

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crazy -ass word of the day. Pseudo -pseudo -hypoparathyroidism.

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Two douchebags and a microphone. I'm Mark, here

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in the Kansas City area at the Talk is Cheap

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studio. And I am Rob in Wheatland, Missouri,

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home of the magnificent Lucas Oil Speedway and

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Watertrap, and also home of Hickam Old Country

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Store, where you can find all your needs. including

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a selfie with the green St. Clair dinosaur in

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the duck black studio. All right. Thank you,

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Brian. You do not know how much it took you,

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man. I was tired as I am. Yeah, you queued me

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in. No, I'm good. I'm good. I'm ready for the

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night. I'm okay, too. I'm tired, too, but I'm

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okay. So it's just the way it goes, right? Honestly,

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I need to escape. Let's do this. Okay, good.

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Good. All right. Well, I saw a new Motley Crue

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ad on Facebook. It looks really cool because

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she was an old video of Vince Neal. True. You

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know, Rob, I could laugh, but it's sad. Why?

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I mean, the old videos of Vince Neal, he looked

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so cool and everything, and he was just like

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this. Just crazy cool rock star, you know. He

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commanded attention when he walked across the

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stage. Yeah, he did. All eyes were on him. You

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know, now I know how the oldsters felt when Elvis

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trotted out on stage sweating ham chunks and

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he was severely obese, you know. I mean, I get

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it now. You know, I remember hearing him going,

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oh man, gosh, this sucks. I'm like, who cares?

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I get it now. We all go downhill. Is it just

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celebrities happen to do it quicker? Somehow.

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Yeah, somehow. You're right. Yeah, their fall

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from grace is much larger than the regular person.

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Yeah, it's a lot harder to bounce off the bottom.

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I also got to thinking, not only do we feel bad

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for him, but I imagine he feels fucking horrible.

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I bet you he looks in the mirror and he's like

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going, what happened? What the hell happened?

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You know, I think some of it was from his excessive

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drinking. I hope he quit drinking because of

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a stroke. And, you know, for all I know, he may

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have quit drinking years ago, but I've never

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seen anything that said that. So, you know, I

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don't know that for sure. You know, so anyhow,

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you know, he has that really heavy middle section

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that usually comes from maybe, I don't know,

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maybe some liver problems or something. You know

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what I mean? Like fluid buildup, possibly. I

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don't think it's all like, I don't think it's

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all ham sandwiches is what I'm saying. So anyhow,

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I mean, I like Vince. He's my favorite out of

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the original three remaining original members.

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But that's not saying much. So, you know. Okay.

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Actually, two original members. John 5 is not

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an original member. Sorry. So, all right. Topher

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and I did an Alternative Universe Two Douchebags

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and Microphone podcast yesterday at the City

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Market. I feel it went really well. We will continue

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this format until the NFL news is more plentiful,

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the draft, minicams, acquisitions, and so forth.

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Also, I have a little news for you, Rob, and

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I think this is going to make you happy. Topher

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is going to call in Sunday night on the regular

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Two Douchebags in a Microphone podcast, not the

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alternate universe, but this one right here.

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Awesome. So I have to be on here Sunday night.

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Okay. Yes. Yes, please. Okay. God, I can't wait

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to talk to him. It's been, what, three years?

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I know. He was going. Three and a half years.

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Well, May. Yeah. May will be three and a half

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years. Four years. Four years. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

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That sounds about right. Four years, yeah. Yeah,

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wow. Wow. Yeah, and the thing is, is he goes,

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I don't want to step on Rob's toes. I go, are

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you fucking kidding? Rob's been talking about

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you joining the program for a long time now.

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He wants you on there. And he's like, okay. Hell

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yeah, he will be. He'll be on Sunday. Yeah, it's

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going to be pretty fucking interesting. He brings

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a whole... Yes, I know. Yeah, I agree. You know,

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He brings such a different element to the program.

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Like I said, his approach and his, I don't know,

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his personality is so much more sophisticated,

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if you will. Yeah. And which I enjoy, you know.

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I do too. I'm a union guy, you know, I went through

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the... apprenticeship and all that you know I'm

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not really that much of well I was a book guy

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I had to read books and everything and I still

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read books but I was never that much of an intellectual

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admittedly I was never that kind of a guy I was

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kind of like a wrench turner hands on guy so

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it doesn't mean you're not smart what it means

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is you're smarter in other areas that's all it

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means now me I'm more blue collar I've always

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worked for lower pay but I'm not exactly stupid.

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We'll put it that way. No, God no. You're far

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from it. You are far from it. I have chosen to

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live my life working and coming up from the bottom.

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And I'm at a decent point in my life, frankly,

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and I'm happy. You know, it's all about comfort,

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isn't it? Yes. The most comfortable I could get

00:11:34.850 --> 00:11:38.730
going to school was that. I mean, like I told

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everybody before, you know, I went to UMKC for

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a little bit for broadcasting. And then I was

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at a crossroads in my life. The union called

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me because I actually applied for them like a

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year before they called me. And I'd given up

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on them. I'm like, you know what, I really want

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to do. Something like broadcasting. And at the

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time, it wasn't necessarily radio. I always fell

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in love with radio. Like I said last podcast,

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you're my podcast, that, you know, Dick and Jay

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kind of started me on it, doing the theater of

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the mind. But I always kind of leaned towards

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radio. So I was going to get into that. Then

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the union calls me and says, hey, you know, free

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schooling. And half of the time, you're out there

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in the field working. And I was like, you know,

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that's more my alley. So, and it worked out.

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I did fine. So, you know, I'm where I'm at because

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of that. Well, see, I could have gotten into

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the construction unit, but because of my connections,

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you know, my grandpa, my uncles, my cousins,

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I could have done it with their connections,

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but I decided to live my own life, you know?

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No, I got it. I got it. Well, to me, I mean,

00:12:57.419 --> 00:12:59.759
since they called me and gave me the invite and

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said, hey, we're going to pay you top wage and

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half of the day you're not going to be sitting

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there reading a book all day, I was like, oh,

00:13:07.299 --> 00:13:09.899
yeah. Oh, hell yeah. Yeah, yeah. I'm like you.

00:13:09.919 --> 00:13:12.320
I'm a hands -on guy. Let's do it. You know, I

00:13:12.320 --> 00:13:15.379
love, yeah, I love shopping school. I love building

00:13:15.379 --> 00:13:18.110
things. I love... working with steel and metal

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so you know it's a comfort thing is all it is

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and it doesn't mean anyone's any smarter than

00:13:23.049 --> 00:13:25.429
anybody it just means that's what you like to

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do and that's what you're comfortable doing so

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um so um during the uh last podcast with me and

00:13:33.509 --> 00:13:36.950
tofer yesterday i asked and this is the alternate

00:13:36.950 --> 00:13:40.730
universe podcast so i asked ai for a list of

00:13:40.730 --> 00:13:43.429
bad product ideas and it went over really well

00:13:43.429 --> 00:13:48.330
on the show So, I mean, have you heard it yet?

00:13:48.350 --> 00:13:50.870
You haven't, have you? No, no, I have not had

00:13:50.870 --> 00:13:52.950
a chance. Okay, when you hear it, you'll see.

00:13:53.070 --> 00:13:56.190
It's a very, very busy day. I told you before.

00:13:57.029 --> 00:14:00.009
Yeah, no, no, no, I get it, I get it. I've had

00:14:00.009 --> 00:14:03.429
some very busy days myself, and I have more coming

00:14:03.429 --> 00:14:07.070
up. I've got vacation coming up next week, but...

00:14:07.480 --> 00:14:09.659
It's going to be doing stuff around here that

00:14:09.659 --> 00:14:12.580
I have to get done. So, I mean, but, you know,

00:14:12.600 --> 00:14:14.919
it is a vacation because I'm away from work.

00:14:15.019 --> 00:14:18.299
But try to get everything in order so maybe we

00:14:18.299 --> 00:14:22.220
can squeeze out maybe a five -day vacation in

00:14:22.220 --> 00:14:25.080
Florida or something in May. You know, we got

00:14:25.080 --> 00:14:28.360
a lot of stuff going on. My mom's health. Val's

00:14:28.360 --> 00:14:31.179
getting ready to have an operation on her back.

00:14:31.600 --> 00:14:34.879
You know, I've got to. hernia operation coming

00:14:34.879 --> 00:14:37.600
i mean you know we got stuff you know we're when

00:14:37.600 --> 00:14:40.440
you get older you have to have done so maybe

00:14:40.440 --> 00:14:43.659
we can squeeze out a five -day or we'll see um

00:14:43.659 --> 00:14:48.799
so i'm gonna ask ai next time what um what guys

00:14:48.799 --> 00:14:51.820
do with micropenis syndrome to make up for it

00:14:51.820 --> 00:14:54.879
you know like some of them buy a big truck right

00:14:54.879 --> 00:14:59.059
a huge truck Yeah, this is going to be interesting

00:14:59.059 --> 00:15:03.460
because anybody that heard the AI list of bad

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product ideas, that was really good. They nailed

00:15:07.220 --> 00:15:10.620
a lot of them. Yeah, it was really good. Me and

00:15:10.620 --> 00:15:12.480
Topher were laughing our ass off. I didn't really

00:15:12.480 --> 00:15:14.299
get a chance to read them. I can't wait to hear

00:15:14.299 --> 00:15:16.820
it. I can't wait to hear it. Yeah, you see, I

00:15:16.820 --> 00:15:18.659
was expecting it to be stupid and we're going

00:15:18.659 --> 00:15:21.200
to giggle over that. But instead I started reading

00:15:21.200 --> 00:15:23.000
them and me and Topher were like, this is pretty

00:15:23.000 --> 00:15:26.539
damn good. It actually makes sense. Yeah, it

00:15:26.539 --> 00:15:30.580
did. It did. The AI had a really good sense of

00:15:30.580 --> 00:15:32.379
humor. It had a better sense of humor than a

00:15:32.379 --> 00:15:36.700
lot of people I know. So I was like, so I'm going

00:15:36.700 --> 00:15:38.620
to ask it about micropenisine. I'm sorry. In

00:15:38.620 --> 00:15:41.720
today's society, that's not very hard. Just saying.

00:15:41.899 --> 00:15:47.159
Just saying. Very true. So I booked a cabin over

00:15:47.159 --> 00:15:49.259
near the Elk River. You'll know where that's

00:15:49.259 --> 00:15:52.779
at, Rob. Near Knoll, Missouri. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:15:53.149 --> 00:15:54.889
So this is like a little, I don't know, four

00:15:54.889 --> 00:15:57.330
-day getaway deal that we got coming up in early

00:15:57.330 --> 00:16:01.590
spring. So this is where I saw a hot chick on

00:16:01.590 --> 00:16:04.470
a bridge while me and my former buddy, Mac, were

00:16:04.470 --> 00:16:06.710
floating down the river with a 12 -pack of blue

00:16:06.710 --> 00:16:09.190
ribbon on each of our stringers. You know what

00:16:09.190 --> 00:16:11.730
I'm talking about? You got the 12 -pack of blue

00:16:11.730 --> 00:16:13.529
ribbon hanging off of your stringer, and you're

00:16:13.529 --> 00:16:17.570
floating down, and it's a spring -fed, fast -moving,

00:16:17.570 --> 00:16:20.049
rapid kind of a spring. Oh, that's cold water,

00:16:20.129 --> 00:16:23.320
man. You don't even need to buy ice. Just have

00:16:23.320 --> 00:16:25.799
your beer off the side of the boat. I'm telling

00:16:25.799 --> 00:16:28.059
you what, man. Even fucking John Holmes would

00:16:28.059 --> 00:16:29.960
look small in that river. You know what I'm saying?

00:16:30.200 --> 00:16:32.740
Oh, yeah. That thing was fucking small, man.

00:16:32.840 --> 00:16:34.899
Your little meat whistle goes fucking inside

00:16:34.899 --> 00:16:40.860
you at that point. So, anyhow. So, Mac starts

00:16:40.860 --> 00:16:43.500
laughing and he says, Hey, there's a smoking

00:16:43.500 --> 00:16:45.700
hot chick in a red bikini making fart sounds

00:16:45.700 --> 00:16:48.440
with her tits. And I thought he was kidding.

00:16:48.519 --> 00:16:51.639
I'm like, okay, I was wrong. I looked up and

00:16:51.639 --> 00:16:53.919
sure enough, hot chick was on that bridge with

00:16:53.919 --> 00:16:57.259
a straw between her twins, pushed together, making

00:16:57.259 --> 00:17:01.500
fart noises. Rob almost cried out of pure joy.

00:17:05.200 --> 00:17:09.079
They still exist. They still exist. And I mean,

00:17:09.079 --> 00:17:12.119
she was like a Daisy Duke type, but only she

00:17:12.119 --> 00:17:15.119
was blonde, just smoking hot. And she's wearing

00:17:15.119 --> 00:17:17.980
this fucking really, really small bikini. And

00:17:17.980 --> 00:17:21.799
Mac and I just like went, oh my gosh. That was

00:17:21.799 --> 00:17:27.240
a 90s girl. Yes. After we heard the fart noises,

00:17:27.359 --> 00:17:32.599
both him and I heard angels and harps. I would

00:17:32.599 --> 00:17:37.440
have said 80s, but they've been sagging. Yeah.

00:17:37.440 --> 00:17:43.319
Yeah, no, no, no. 90s. This is early 2000s. This

00:17:43.319 --> 00:17:47.000
is early 2000s. Okay, yeah. They might still

00:17:47.000 --> 00:17:49.940
be perky. Who knows? You know, maybe she got

00:17:49.940 --> 00:17:53.519
some bolt -ons. She could have got some bolt

00:17:53.519 --> 00:17:55.279
-ons and they're fine. You know, I don't know.

00:17:55.599 --> 00:18:00.640
So, all right. The sad part is we remember the

00:18:00.640 --> 00:18:04.819
ones in the 80s. That's right. Before the bolt

00:18:04.819 --> 00:18:11.720
-ons were so common, you know, the bolt -ons

00:18:11.720 --> 00:18:14.680
got like fucking, you know, they got popular

00:18:14.680 --> 00:18:19.460
really, I don't know, maybe 2005, 6, 7. Yeah,

00:18:19.660 --> 00:18:22.099
more women were getting breast jobs, augmentation.

00:18:22.519 --> 00:18:25.420
I think it became cheaper because more doctors

00:18:25.420 --> 00:18:31.019
were doing it. So, anyhow. So, Joe Biden sent

00:18:31.019 --> 00:18:33.799
a message about the passing of Jesse Jackson,

00:18:34.019 --> 00:18:37.039
and it went like this. My condolences to Jesse

00:18:37.039 --> 00:18:39.400
and his family, especially his brothers Jackie,

00:18:39.599 --> 00:18:42.380
Jermaine, Tito, and his sisters Janet and Latoya.

00:18:47.799 --> 00:18:53.000
And next. I want to fact check that one. Just

00:18:53.000 --> 00:18:56.920
say it. Because I can see it. I can see it. I

00:18:56.920 --> 00:18:59.200
actually, I really do think it's a joke, but

00:18:59.200 --> 00:19:02.579
if it wasn't, it would not surprise me. It would

00:19:02.579 --> 00:19:07.559
not surprise me. And if anyone goes, why are

00:19:07.559 --> 00:19:13.119
you making fun of Joe Biden? It's pretty much

00:19:13.119 --> 00:19:17.480
fucking truth. I mean, the guy's lost so much

00:19:17.480 --> 00:19:25.019
cognitive behavior. Anyhow, it's undeniable.

00:19:25.450 --> 00:19:27.609
He is diminished, and I'm not making fun of him.

00:19:27.609 --> 00:19:31.849
He's in his 80s. You know, that happens. So I

00:19:31.849 --> 00:19:35.549
was watching the Olympic speed skating pursuit,

00:19:35.690 --> 00:19:37.990
is what they call it. This is three skaters in

00:19:37.990 --> 00:19:40.670
a row skating together, synchronized in unison.

00:19:41.650 --> 00:19:44.369
You know, they're supposed to be graceful but

00:19:44.369 --> 00:19:47.450
fast, right? And the idea is to be graceful while

00:19:47.450 --> 00:19:50.470
you're winning the race, you know. So they're

00:19:50.470 --> 00:19:53.160
all, like, holding on to each other's back. You

00:19:53.160 --> 00:19:55.779
know, the Italian team was facing some Euro team

00:19:55.779 --> 00:19:58.380
like Sweden or something like that. The Euro

00:19:58.380 --> 00:20:01.240
team looked okay, but the Italian team, all the

00:20:01.240 --> 00:20:03.779
men in the skin -tight body suits all had severe

00:20:03.779 --> 00:20:09.140
male camel toe. I'm not kidding you. It was like,

00:20:09.319 --> 00:20:15.599
dudes, tape that shit back, tuck it or something.

00:20:15.779 --> 00:20:19.210
It was nasty. It looked like a couple of pair

00:20:19.210 --> 00:20:22.109
of Elfineers fucking, or a deflated basketball.

00:20:23.529 --> 00:20:25.849
It looked like someone took a deflated basketball

00:20:25.849 --> 00:20:28.750
and fucking munched it up and put it in their

00:20:28.750 --> 00:20:33.809
fucking skin -tight fucking body suits. Oh my

00:20:33.809 --> 00:20:36.029
gosh, it was like some of the worst fucking male

00:20:36.029 --> 00:20:39.910
camel toe I'd ever seen. There you go, everybody.

00:20:40.170 --> 00:20:43.240
There's your dick jokes. Yeah, yeah, there you

00:20:43.240 --> 00:20:46.299
go, dick jokes. All right, we got it covered

00:20:46.299 --> 00:20:48.920
already. We're doing good tonight, Rob. We're

00:20:48.920 --> 00:20:52.019
doing good. We're 15 minutes in, and we already

00:20:52.019 --> 00:20:54.220
got a couple of dick jokes out, and even a Joe

00:20:54.220 --> 00:20:56.299
Biden joke. I'm going to pat ourselves on the

00:20:56.299 --> 00:21:02.819
back. I guess so. So, okay, so now we go to this,

00:21:02.960 --> 00:21:05.579
Rob. Okay, we've been preaching this forever

00:21:05.579 --> 00:21:07.559
now. You know I'm getting ready to go into AI,

00:21:07.720 --> 00:21:10.730
right? Remember? We've been preaching this forever.

00:21:11.430 --> 00:21:14.369
Okay, you know where I'm going with this because

00:21:14.369 --> 00:21:16.289
we've been talking about this for years now.

00:21:16.990 --> 00:21:20.289
AI generated evidence is a threat to public trust

00:21:20.289 --> 00:21:23.269
in the courts. And what have we been saying?

00:21:23.930 --> 00:21:26.549
It's going to get to where someone could kill

00:21:26.549 --> 00:21:29.630
someone in broad daylight. And if there's no

00:21:29.630 --> 00:21:34.549
physical witnesses, he can go, someone is framing

00:21:34.549 --> 00:21:39.609
me. That is a deep fake. That's not me. And then

00:21:39.609 --> 00:21:43.369
the jury is supposed to be without, you know,

00:21:43.369 --> 00:21:48.089
no doubt, without a shred of doubt that the guy's

00:21:48.089 --> 00:21:50.950
guilty. So if deep fakes are getting that good,

00:21:51.009 --> 00:21:54.769
how can you have absolutely no doubt on anything?

00:21:55.750 --> 00:21:59.470
Yeah, because not the average juror, I mean,

00:21:59.490 --> 00:22:02.509
you have to be a specialist to be able to look

00:22:02.509 --> 00:22:05.279
at them and tell whether they're... Yeah, but

00:22:05.279 --> 00:22:07.160
it's getting to where the specialists really

00:22:07.160 --> 00:22:09.940
can't tell either, and that's the problem. Yeah,

00:22:10.640 --> 00:22:14.559
I mean, it's hard. This slippery slope has officially

00:22:14.559 --> 00:22:17.319
went over the cliff like we were talking about,

00:22:17.519 --> 00:22:19.720
and we knew it was going to be sooner than later.

00:22:19.740 --> 00:22:22.039
Well, it's happening right now. When California

00:22:22.039 --> 00:22:25.940
Judge Victoria Kalasky revealed a video of a

00:22:25.940 --> 00:22:29.799
witness in Madone's versus Cushman in Wakefield,

00:22:29.900 --> 00:22:32.779
something felt wrong. The witness's face was

00:22:32.779 --> 00:22:35.299
nearly motionless and the footage had strange

00:22:35.299 --> 00:22:39.279
cuts and apparent repetition of her mannerisms.

00:22:39.319 --> 00:22:42.720
The judge identified the evidence as AI -generated

00:22:42.720 --> 00:22:46.240
audio and video of a real person. The self -represented

00:22:46.240 --> 00:22:49.680
plaintiffs had submitted deepfake videos as authentic

00:22:49.680 --> 00:22:53.480
testimony. The case appears to be one of the

00:22:53.480 --> 00:22:56.339
first instances where a deepfake was submitted

00:22:56.339 --> 00:23:00.059
as a purportedly authentic evidence and detected

00:23:00.059 --> 00:23:03.579
as ai generated judges have expressed concerns

00:23:03.579 --> 00:23:07.299
about fabricated and doctored documents submitted

00:23:07.299 --> 00:23:10.380
into evidence fabricated evidence is not a new

00:23:10.380 --> 00:23:13.359
problem for courts but the technology to produce

00:23:13.359 --> 00:23:16.420
it has never been so accessible or inexpensive

00:23:16.420 --> 00:23:20.539
as it is now especially for photos audio and

00:23:20.539 --> 00:23:23.859
video like we've been saying Now, they caught

00:23:23.859 --> 00:23:26.420
this one, but you know there's going to be some

00:23:26.420 --> 00:23:27.900
of them that they not caught. They don't have

00:23:27.900 --> 00:23:31.900
right. I could say so much more, but we're not

00:23:31.900 --> 00:23:34.059
going to go into that because we don't do that.

00:23:35.119 --> 00:23:39.240
No, we kind of brush the edges. Yeah, we brush

00:23:39.240 --> 00:23:42.019
the edges, but I could go deeper, but I'm not

00:23:42.019 --> 00:23:45.039
going to. No, I know, Rob. And you and I have

00:23:45.039 --> 00:23:50.599
had plenty of conversations outside of this program.

00:23:51.140 --> 00:23:54.880
Yeah, yeah. And I've already changed my show

00:23:54.880 --> 00:23:58.079
once today, so. That's what you're saying. You

00:23:58.079 --> 00:24:01.140
said just start another one. Yeah, I started

00:24:01.140 --> 00:24:05.140
this morning with one show. Well, by the time

00:24:05.140 --> 00:24:08.000
I found things today, the whole show's changed,

00:24:08.180 --> 00:24:14.599
so. Yeah. Yeah, let's keep it there. Yes. By

00:24:14.599 --> 00:24:17.640
the standards of today's AI capabilities, a video

00:24:17.640 --> 00:24:21.299
from Madone's is incredibly primitive. Today,

00:24:21.400 --> 00:24:24.119
anyone with an inexpensive monthly subscription

00:24:24.119 --> 00:24:27.279
to one of the several common AI services can

00:24:27.279 --> 00:24:30.339
produce a higher fidelity fake in moments. Modern

00:24:30.339 --> 00:24:33.599
AI tools enable far more plausible versions of

00:24:33.599 --> 00:24:40.380
Madone's fakes. So, okay, I mean, like I use

00:24:40.380 --> 00:24:43.660
AI that I was asked, was it last week? was I

00:24:43.660 --> 00:24:47.859
asked how I use AI in the email, right? Yeah.

00:24:48.279 --> 00:24:50.880
How many voices do we have on this thing now,

00:24:50.960 --> 00:24:56.859
on this show? Maybe. I don't know. We have a

00:24:56.859 --> 00:25:00.099
lot, probably 30. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, probably

00:25:00.099 --> 00:25:05.420
at least two. And that is because of a subscription

00:25:05.420 --> 00:25:09.200
service that I pay for, so I get a different

00:25:09.200 --> 00:25:14.390
voices. I can keep the show fresh. You know,

00:25:14.410 --> 00:25:17.549
just me and you and Topher talking all the time,

00:25:17.609 --> 00:25:21.029
to me, gets boring. And I'm sure to everyone

00:25:21.029 --> 00:25:23.589
else it does, too. Now, you have these different

00:25:23.589 --> 00:25:25.970
voices. You have these radio voices. You have

00:25:25.970 --> 00:25:28.150
these meek voices. You have these female voices.

00:25:28.349 --> 00:25:32.160
It makes the program more... entertaining in

00:25:32.160 --> 00:25:35.799
my idea, you know, but I get all this like 20

00:25:35.799 --> 00:25:38.859
bucks a month and I have access to like a hundred

00:25:38.859 --> 00:25:42.299
different voices I can use. So I could only imagine

00:25:42.299 --> 00:25:45.839
the deep fake ones that people buy, you know,

00:25:45.839 --> 00:25:48.400
subscription services and they're getting so

00:25:48.400 --> 00:25:52.859
much better. I mean, it's, it's crazy. So we

00:25:52.859 --> 00:25:57.720
could do a promo using Tom Petty's voice. Yes.

00:25:57.740 --> 00:26:02.099
Yeah. And, and you know, Yeah, that's true. Good

00:26:02.099 --> 00:26:08.539
point. We really don't want to do that. No, no,

00:26:08.599 --> 00:26:12.619
no. That's disrespectful. Yeah, me too. I don't

00:26:12.619 --> 00:26:15.599
want anyone else's voice. I want different voices

00:26:15.599 --> 00:26:19.500
on here. Fakes. Fakes, yeah. That's why, like

00:26:19.500 --> 00:26:24.660
on the KY promo, our homage to KY, I use my voice.

00:26:24.900 --> 00:26:28.869
Yeah. Right, right. Yeah, I mean, I could go

00:26:28.869 --> 00:26:36.349
with a deeper, you know, hey, this is KY -107,

00:26:36.490 --> 00:26:40.269
you know, Springfield, you know, whatever. But,

00:26:40.329 --> 00:26:42.869
no, I feel like there's got to be a personal

00:26:42.869 --> 00:26:46.069
element to it. Yeah, and you did it properly.

00:26:46.690 --> 00:26:50.369
Yeah, so, I did the best I could. I don't think

00:26:50.369 --> 00:26:52.670
it sounds horrible, you know. Other people can

00:26:52.670 --> 00:26:54.769
do it better, but I don't think it sounds horrible,

00:26:54.789 --> 00:26:58.750
so I'm good with it. So, we're moving along here.

00:26:58.849 --> 00:27:01.509
Great news. Sunday night, Topher is going to

00:27:01.509 --> 00:27:08.349
join us on the Douchebags. Yay. Right on. Yeah.

00:27:08.890 --> 00:27:15.190
Yeah. Yep. So, that's going to kick ass. Yeah,

00:27:15.190 --> 00:27:17.569
you mentioned that a while ago, dude. Yeah, yeah.

00:27:17.630 --> 00:27:20.390
I said that off of the program. That's why I

00:27:20.390 --> 00:27:25.180
was saying it now. Wow. Yeah, we weren't on yet.

00:27:26.579 --> 00:27:32.539
That's how come I got that response. I was expecting

00:27:32.539 --> 00:27:34.579
you to go with me and go, yay, like we never

00:27:34.579 --> 00:27:47.400
talked about it. No, we were not. Yeah, it has.

00:27:48.359 --> 00:27:52.799
Yeah. Since Topher and I have talked, yeah, I

00:27:52.799 --> 00:27:57.059
cannot wait. I'm drunk. It was funny, too. Topher's

00:27:57.059 --> 00:27:59.200
like, I don't want to step on Rob's toes. And

00:27:59.200 --> 00:28:01.680
I go, fuck. I said, he's been wanting to do this

00:28:01.680 --> 00:28:05.700
for a long time. I know, so. Topher, Topher,

00:28:05.859 --> 00:28:08.559
I give you permission. Step all over my toes,

00:28:08.680 --> 00:28:10.680
please. He's going to be on here Sunday night,

00:28:10.759 --> 00:28:14.299
so it's going to kick ass. Awesome. Yep. So we

00:28:14.299 --> 00:28:17.059
are extending our brand to piss off more people,

00:28:17.140 --> 00:28:18.880
and I'm very happy about that. What about you?

00:28:20.170 --> 00:28:23.450
Oh, I love it. Our stinky footprint is getting

00:28:23.450 --> 00:28:28.930
larger. All right. A food influencer dies after

00:28:28.930 --> 00:28:34.930
eating a poisonous devil crab for views. A food

00:28:34.930 --> 00:28:37.509
influencer has tragically died after eating a

00:28:37.509 --> 00:28:40.349
poisonous devil crab for views. She allegedly

00:28:40.349 --> 00:28:43.329
ate the poisonous crustacean during a social

00:28:43.329 --> 00:28:49.089
media video. Sadly, the devil... I know, especially

00:28:49.089 --> 00:28:52.910
since the title of the devil crab is poisonous.

00:28:56.490 --> 00:28:59.049
Just the name devil crab, would you eat that

00:28:59.049 --> 00:29:05.170
damn thing? It's called a devil crab. Yeah, wouldn't

00:29:05.170 --> 00:29:12.950
you be like, no thank you, I think I'll pass.

00:29:14.809 --> 00:29:18.430
Anyhow. Yeah, definitely. So, a food influencer

00:29:18.430 --> 00:29:21.049
has tragically died after eating poisonous devil

00:29:21.049 --> 00:29:23.170
crap for views. I don't know if I'd call it tragic.

00:29:23.950 --> 00:29:27.430
I'd call that stupid. I mean, no disrespect to

00:29:27.430 --> 00:29:32.690
the dead, but... Right. Tragic? Tragic is when

00:29:32.690 --> 00:29:35.309
a four -year -old boy gets cancer, or someone

00:29:35.309 --> 00:29:39.609
dies in a wreck. Not someone death by stupid.

00:29:39.990 --> 00:29:43.589
Death by stupid. That's like eating Tide Pods.

00:29:44.009 --> 00:29:47.210
Yes, yeah, that's not tragic. That's stupidity

00:29:47.210 --> 00:29:49.390
that got you. You're too dumb to live, in my

00:29:49.390 --> 00:29:52.250
opinion. And I'm not saying anything about this

00:29:52.250 --> 00:29:55.609
influencer. God rest her soul. Right, right,

00:29:55.769 --> 00:29:58.369
right. Maybe she got her wires crossed and didn't

00:29:58.369 --> 00:30:01.109
realize it was that poisonous or whatever. So

00:30:01.109 --> 00:30:05.230
she allegedly ate the poisonous crustacean during

00:30:05.230 --> 00:30:08.549
a social media video. Sadly, the devil crab meal

00:30:08.549 --> 00:30:12.289
killed 51 -year -old Emma Amit. Amit allegedly

00:30:12.289 --> 00:30:15.049
harvested the shellfish from a mangrove forest

00:30:15.049 --> 00:30:18.990
near her home in Palawan. The video showed her

00:30:18.990 --> 00:30:21.450
cooking the devil crab in coconut milk before

00:30:21.450 --> 00:30:24.529
taking a bite. Sadly, she fell ill the next day

00:30:24.529 --> 00:30:27.190
due to the toxins in the animal. She was taken

00:30:27.190 --> 00:30:31.769
to a hospital where she later died. Rob, did

00:30:31.769 --> 00:30:34.170
she not think about faking this? You know how

00:30:34.170 --> 00:30:37.210
easy it is on video to fake something like that?

00:30:39.720 --> 00:30:42.779
I mean, since she soaked it in coconut oil, she

00:30:42.779 --> 00:30:45.299
could have put the devil crab in one side and

00:30:45.299 --> 00:30:47.720
then put another crab that looked like it in

00:30:47.720 --> 00:30:51.299
another side and chose to, you know, and grab

00:30:51.299 --> 00:30:54.539
that one to eat instead of the devil crab. They

00:30:54.539 --> 00:30:58.920
do it on TV all the time. Yeah, yeah, I don't

00:30:58.920 --> 00:31:01.400
understand why she didn't do that. To me, that

00:31:01.400 --> 00:31:06.250
doesn't make a lot of sense, except... You were

00:31:06.250 --> 00:31:09.869
meant to go. That's it. You did something dumb

00:31:09.869 --> 00:31:11.789
enough to get you off this earth and it worked.

00:31:12.490 --> 00:31:18.230
So, that being said, Rob, let's turn this whole

00:31:18.230 --> 00:31:23.789
thing over to you. Okay, yeah, I'm going totally

00:31:23.789 --> 00:31:27.609
away from everything you've talked about so far.

00:31:27.849 --> 00:31:29.930
That sounds good. And we've got a new guy coming

00:31:29.930 --> 00:31:32.130
up at the end of this segment. We've got a new

00:31:32.130 --> 00:31:39.519
guy that's going to explain periorgasmic I can't

00:31:39.519 --> 00:31:41.619
wait to hear that. Yeah, yeah. New guy. He's

00:31:41.619 --> 00:31:43.519
still pissy, though. I heard him recording it.

00:31:43.660 --> 00:31:48.920
I know. Yeah. Okay. I have a question for you,

00:31:48.940 --> 00:31:56.319
Mark. Yes. Have you ever wondered what town in

00:31:56.319 --> 00:32:00.220
the state of Missouri had the first electricity?

00:32:02.400 --> 00:32:05.039
You know what? I don't know if I directly wondered

00:32:05.039 --> 00:32:07.680
about that, but similar things. And yeah, that

00:32:07.680 --> 00:32:14.319
does interest me. Well, like I said, this show

00:32:14.319 --> 00:32:20.319
just totally turned on me tonight. I ran across

00:32:20.319 --> 00:32:23.779
this and it caught my interest because you're

00:32:23.779 --> 00:32:28.240
going to be amazed. Okay. You will be amazed

00:32:28.240 --> 00:33:03.009
because you know this town. Butler? Butler? Butler.

00:33:05.170 --> 00:33:09.269
Okay. Yes. The small town about midway between

00:33:09.269 --> 00:33:12.789
Kansas City and Joplin became the first town

00:33:12.789 --> 00:33:15.829
in Missouri to have electricity. I wonder if

00:33:15.829 --> 00:33:18.390
the Flamin' Lantern restaurant there has something

00:33:18.390 --> 00:33:23.769
to do with that. It might. Well... I always thought

00:33:23.769 --> 00:33:27.730
that was a peculiar name. Oh, no. Yeah, now that

00:33:27.730 --> 00:33:29.690
I'm thinking further down the story, let me...

00:33:29.690 --> 00:33:33.930
Okay, go ahead. Long before the bright lights

00:33:33.930 --> 00:33:37.809
in St. Louis were spared, this small town earned

00:33:37.809 --> 00:33:41.049
its prominent nickname as the Electric City.

00:33:42.450 --> 00:33:48.670
On the evening of December 6, 1881, Butler made

00:33:48.670 --> 00:33:51.890
history. It became the first town in Missouri

00:33:51.890 --> 00:33:56.210
and the first city west of Mississippi River

00:33:56.210 --> 00:34:00.890
to be illuminated by it. municipal -wide electric

00:34:00.890 --> 00:34:05.990
power system. While metropolitan hubs like St.

00:34:06.109 --> 00:34:10.789
Louis had been dabbling with electricity in individual

00:34:10.789 --> 00:34:16.570
buildings, namely the Tony Faust restaurant in

00:34:16.570 --> 00:34:21.949
1878, Butler was the first to scale the technology

00:34:21.949 --> 00:34:29.179
for an entire community. Craig goes to Captain

00:34:29.179 --> 00:34:35.079
M .J. Tigard. I've heard that name before. It's

00:34:35.079 --> 00:34:39.559
known around there. Okay. A local leader with

00:34:39.559 --> 00:34:44.179
a vision far ahead of his time. After being mesmerized

00:34:44.179 --> 00:34:49.059
by new electrical displays at the 1876 Philadelphia

00:34:49.059 --> 00:34:56.960
Centennial Exposition. Tigray returned home determined

00:34:56.960 --> 00:35:00.659
to bring that future to Missouri. He formed the

00:35:00.659 --> 00:35:05.019
Brush Electric Light and Power Company of Butler.

00:35:05.400 --> 00:35:09.639
His ambition did more than just light up the

00:35:09.639 --> 00:35:13.780
courthouse, it created a legacy. Today Butler

00:35:13.780 --> 00:35:18.480
holds the title of the oldest continuously operating

00:35:18.480 --> 00:35:23.000
municipal electric utility in the United States.

00:35:25.500 --> 00:35:30.199
While Wabash technically lit its streets first

00:35:30.199 --> 00:35:34.699
in 1880, they eventually sold their utility to

00:35:34.699 --> 00:35:41.980
a private company. So, yeah, Butler is on there

00:35:41.980 --> 00:35:46.340
since 1881, a year later. So, yeah, Butler is

00:35:46.340 --> 00:35:50.420
the oldest electric company. Pretty interesting.

00:35:52.000 --> 00:35:56.440
Yeah, like I said, I read that. Oh, yeah, that

00:35:56.440 --> 00:36:00.119
totally changed. That story that I got rid of.

00:36:00.219 --> 00:36:02.480
Yeah, that surprises me because... I found that

00:36:02.480 --> 00:36:06.139
in Butler. Butler is not on railroad tracks,

00:36:06.460 --> 00:36:08.980
is it? Yeah, it is. Wait a minute. No, no, no,

00:36:09.000 --> 00:36:11.639
there's railroad tracks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The

00:36:11.639 --> 00:36:15.570
old railroad tracks. Yeah, okay, okay, that makes

00:36:15.570 --> 00:36:19.750
sense. Because back in those days, the railroad

00:36:19.750 --> 00:36:24.530
tracks were the lifeblood. Yeah, they delivered

00:36:24.530 --> 00:36:30.690
coal to the fire. Yes. Back then is when they

00:36:30.690 --> 00:36:34.190
had coal hatches in every house that had a furnace.

00:36:34.429 --> 00:36:38.829
And it's a big steel hatch that opens up and

00:36:38.829 --> 00:36:44.460
the coal whatever is, you know, Carrying the

00:36:44.460 --> 00:36:49.079
coal, it has a slide that goes into there, and

00:36:49.079 --> 00:36:51.860
they slide all the coal into the basement, and

00:36:51.860 --> 00:36:54.440
then that's where you shovel it into the furnace.

00:36:54.739 --> 00:36:57.880
So, yeah, so those types of towns on the railroad

00:36:57.880 --> 00:37:00.940
tracks were more modern back then, if you will.

00:37:01.639 --> 00:37:04.260
Yeah. Because they had more accessible ways of

00:37:04.260 --> 00:37:07.039
getting products to them. So that makes sense.

00:37:07.260 --> 00:37:11.199
So, okay. Yeah. All right. Yeah, I found that

00:37:11.199 --> 00:37:15.150
interesting. I really did. Yeah, so do I. I love

00:37:15.150 --> 00:37:16.989
stuff like that. Thank you, Rob. That was really

00:37:16.989 --> 00:37:20.469
cool. Thank you. Alrighty, let's take our first

00:37:20.469 --> 00:37:23.829
break. And guess what I got in my filthy little

00:37:23.829 --> 00:37:30.730
hands? Email. Hello, this is the new guy. And

00:37:30.730 --> 00:37:33.150
these two dim light bulbs want me to explain

00:37:33.150 --> 00:37:39.050
something else again? Okay, this is a more recent

00:37:39.050 --> 00:37:41.429
study on this newer syndrome with odd symptoms

00:37:41.429 --> 00:37:45.820
for sure. Periorgasmic phenomena are uncommon,

00:37:46.119 --> 00:37:49.219
often unexpected physical or emotional reactions

00:37:49.219 --> 00:37:52.820
occurring immediately before, during, or after

00:37:52.820 --> 00:37:56.840
orgasm, such as an uncontrollable crying, laughing,

00:37:57.059 --> 00:38:01.000
headaches, or pain. A 2026 study found these

00:38:01.000 --> 00:38:03.739
symptoms are normal variations of sexual responses

00:38:03.739 --> 00:38:07.480
rather than pathology. with 61 % of affected

00:38:07.480 --> 00:38:10.639
individuals reporting physical symptoms and 88

00:38:10.639 --> 00:38:15.440
% reporting emotional responses. So, there you

00:38:15.440 --> 00:38:18.219
go. Maybe these two dimwits will leave me alone

00:38:18.219 --> 00:38:23.599
for a couple of minutes now. I just, I... Bye.

00:38:24.599 --> 00:38:27.960
Hey everybody, this is Uncle Rob. I'm going to

00:38:27.960 --> 00:38:32.179
give you some tips for life. Always have a sharp

00:38:32.179 --> 00:38:35.260
pair of large scissors. Just for the extra...

00:38:38.440 --> 00:38:41.820
pizza without all the cheese transferring to

00:38:41.820 --> 00:38:48.420
another slice. You're welcome, world. Two douchebags,

00:38:48.480 --> 00:38:50.440
a microphone, and an effort to keep everything

00:38:50.440 --> 00:38:58.139
fresh. We offer you first world problems. Oh,

00:38:58.139 --> 00:39:02.619
shit. Look at that drive -thru line. Surely we

00:39:02.619 --> 00:39:07.820
don't expect me to actually have to go in. This

00:39:07.820 --> 00:39:13.739
sucks. Hey, if you're a fan of paying way too

00:39:13.739 --> 00:39:16.199
much for trinkets and food, well, your wish is

00:39:16.199 --> 00:39:18.780
coming true. Kansas City International Airport

00:39:18.780 --> 00:39:22.219
Guest Pass program is starting today. Yes, you

00:39:22.219 --> 00:39:24.480
too could overspend on workless trinkets and

00:39:24.480 --> 00:39:28.360
$15 cups of coffee. Want to buy a $50 cheap t

00:39:28.360 --> 00:39:30.960
-shirt that has KC Western Auto Building image

00:39:30.960 --> 00:39:34.260
on it? We got you covered. Want a barbecue sauce

00:39:34.260 --> 00:39:37.340
gift pack? No problem. Just a mere $40 on your

00:39:37.340 --> 00:39:40.059
firstborn. Hurry. You know rubes are jumping

00:39:40.059 --> 00:39:43.900
all over to get to this complete ripoff. Because

00:39:43.900 --> 00:39:49.340
people are cheap. The boll weevil clap. Read

00:39:49.340 --> 00:39:54.400
up on that sometime. The boll weevil clap, and

00:39:54.400 --> 00:39:56.980
this old guy that I knew that was in Vietnam,

00:39:57.500 --> 00:39:59.880
I probably should say, well, you know what? You

00:39:59.880 --> 00:40:02.380
can take this part out of here if you like it.

00:40:02.920 --> 00:40:04.760
and we could put it somewhere but this old guy

00:40:04.760 --> 00:40:07.239
that i knew down the road from me there was a

00:40:07.239 --> 00:40:10.760
vietnam he told me that uh one day you know him

00:40:10.760 --> 00:40:13.840
and a couple of guys um got a day off from the

00:40:13.840 --> 00:40:17.099
war so they went into the nearest town to go

00:40:17.099 --> 00:40:18.760
look for some hookers you know they're like you

00:40:18.760 --> 00:40:20.739
know if we're going to die we're going to get

00:40:20.739 --> 00:40:24.380
laid so okay all right so they go in there and

00:40:24.380 --> 00:40:29.199
i guess the the vietcong loaded and full loaded

00:40:29.199 --> 00:40:32.739
the prostitutes full this stuff called the boll

00:40:32.739 --> 00:40:38.760
weevil clap yeah oh it is so anyhow he said you

00:40:38.760 --> 00:40:41.639
know they all went and um you know did what they

00:40:41.639 --> 00:40:43.380
needed to do you know they thought they're all

00:40:43.380 --> 00:40:45.679
gonna die so they went and they got laid and

00:40:45.679 --> 00:40:48.260
next day when a guy comes in he goes oh my god

00:40:48.260 --> 00:40:51.579
he goes i hurt so bad like you know my fucking

00:40:51.579 --> 00:40:55.579
dick hurts like hell my stomach hurts i think

00:40:55.579 --> 00:40:57.539
i'm gonna die what'd they do with those damn

00:40:57.539 --> 00:41:01.260
hookers So anyhow, and he started hurting really

00:41:01.260 --> 00:41:03.179
bad. He said it hurt so bad you could hardly

00:41:03.179 --> 00:41:05.539
breathe. You could feel it in your dick shaft.

00:41:05.739 --> 00:41:10.000
It hurt so bad. So they all go in, and I guess

00:41:10.000 --> 00:41:12.960
it's like a horrible infection. And if you don't

00:41:12.960 --> 00:41:15.300
get it treated, it will kill you. Like, you know,

00:41:15.300 --> 00:41:18.699
go up your scrotum and into your testicles. And

00:41:18.699 --> 00:41:22.739
anyhow, the only cure back then was is they had

00:41:22.739 --> 00:41:26.739
to take this glass rod and shove it in the end

00:41:26.739 --> 00:41:31.110
of your penis. and mash it with a rubber mallet.

00:41:31.329 --> 00:41:34.469
And then you have to physically squeeze all the

00:41:34.469 --> 00:41:38.030
infection out of your penis. I've heard of this.

00:41:38.190 --> 00:41:42.409
Yes. And this took like four hours of mashing

00:41:42.409 --> 00:41:47.150
this rod and then squeezing all the infection

00:41:47.150 --> 00:41:48.789
out because if they don't get all the infection

00:41:48.789 --> 00:41:50.750
out right then... It just flares right back up.

00:41:50.769 --> 00:41:54.340
Yes. Seals your pee -pee shut. Yes. Yeah, that

00:41:54.340 --> 00:41:57.059
was the old joke of, you know, if you catch VD,

00:41:57.199 --> 00:41:59.179
your dick's going to turn black and fall off.

00:41:59.360 --> 00:42:02.119
But there are actually STDs. That was the worst

00:42:02.119 --> 00:42:04.940
case scenario, yeah. It actually will turn black

00:42:04.940 --> 00:42:08.400
and fall off because the tissue will die. Yeah,

00:42:08.460 --> 00:42:12.780
it's kind of like a Gann Green type of deal,

00:42:12.880 --> 00:42:15.099
you know, or something like that. So anyhow,

00:42:15.460 --> 00:42:19.059
yeah, he said after that, he said, no, no more

00:42:19.059 --> 00:42:25.510
hookers. Great news, assholes. You can now email

00:42:25.510 --> 00:42:29.349
the douches anytime, anywhere. In the middle

00:42:29.349 --> 00:42:32.710
of a job interview. No big deal. Taking a bath?

00:42:33.110 --> 00:42:37.050
No problems there. Tap dancing. Easy as pie.

00:42:37.389 --> 00:42:40.630
Just send it to 2douches at mail .com. Do it

00:42:40.630 --> 00:42:43.090
now, pussies, or I'll smash you in the junk.

00:42:44.449 --> 00:42:47.170
Now it's time for pickup lines from a loser.

00:42:47.510 --> 00:42:55.460
Are you a banana? You look appealing. Sir, I

00:42:55.460 --> 00:42:58.079
see your qualifications here. May I ask some

00:42:58.079 --> 00:42:59.820
further questions that could help me determine

00:42:59.820 --> 00:43:03.239
your employment eligibility? Yes, sir. I'm ready.

00:43:03.639 --> 00:43:06.280
Well, as you can see here, we have a large population

00:43:06.280 --> 00:43:08.940
of different ethnic backgrounds, sexuality, and

00:43:08.940 --> 00:43:13.699
ages. Are you by chance bilingual? Well, sir,

00:43:13.800 --> 00:43:16.239
I'm not sure why you need that kind of information,

00:43:16.239 --> 00:43:19.340
but, well, it was only one time in summer camp.

00:43:19.929 --> 00:43:27.449
I considered it experimental. Hey peeps, it's

00:43:27.449 --> 00:43:30.809
time for the police blotter. That's right, stories

00:43:30.809 --> 00:43:35.050
about stupid criminals and the dumbassness that

00:43:35.050 --> 00:43:41.050
ensued. Let us begin now. In September 2025,

00:43:41.530 --> 00:43:45.550
a Canadian man was arrested for DUI while attempting

00:43:45.550 --> 00:43:49.139
to drive a Barbie Jeep. Not only did the scaled

00:43:49.139 --> 00:43:52.619
-down jeep stand out, not it would only go five

00:43:52.619 --> 00:43:56.300
miles an hour. The police chase ended quickly.

00:43:56.460 --> 00:43:59.780
The subject, George Fizzulli, did not get his

00:43:59.780 --> 00:44:03.900
six -pack. But did get a free Uber ride with

00:44:03.900 --> 00:44:25.210
lights a -flashing straight to jail. That was

00:44:25.210 --> 00:44:30.309
sick. I know. Okay, hang on, hang on. Okay, yeah,

00:44:30.309 --> 00:44:32.869
do it, try it. Okay. Yeah, I got a little phlegm.

00:44:32.869 --> 00:44:35.190
I got a little bit of a little... Yeah, I got

00:44:35.190 --> 00:44:38.710
that too. Yeah, all the pollen is flowing in

00:44:38.710 --> 00:44:45.280
from the south. Is that a little bit better?

00:44:45.340 --> 00:44:47.679
Much better. Okay. Much better. Thank you. All

00:44:47.679 --> 00:44:51.039
right. And by the way, I am Rob in Wheatland,

00:44:51.079 --> 00:44:55.599
Missouri, home of the magnificent Lucas Oil Speedway

00:44:55.599 --> 00:44:59.659
and Water Track, and also home of the Camaro

00:44:59.659 --> 00:45:02.980
Country Store, where you can find all your needs,

00:45:03.099 --> 00:45:07.320
including a selfie with the green St. Clair dinosaur

00:45:07.320 --> 00:45:13.130
in the Dutton Blind Studio. Alright, I forgot

00:45:13.130 --> 00:45:15.750
to announce the new guy right before the end

00:45:15.750 --> 00:45:20.590
of the break. So, he's just going to pop on and

00:45:20.590 --> 00:45:24.030
tell his... Yeah, he's really going to be pissed.

00:45:24.090 --> 00:45:27.750
Yeah, he likes me to announce him, so he's going

00:45:27.750 --> 00:45:32.769
to be mad. He's going to be... Yeah. Yeah, he'll

00:45:32.769 --> 00:45:36.889
be alright. Yeah, he's going to be extra pissing.

00:45:36.889 --> 00:45:43.940
Yeah. Alright, first one. Mark, I am hosting

00:45:43.940 --> 00:45:47.239
company several nights a week. I love this coaster

00:45:47.239 --> 00:45:50.360
set, handmade in Brazil. I bought this from a

00:45:50.360 --> 00:45:52.619
street vendor when I was vacationing a few years

00:45:52.619 --> 00:45:55.679
back. They are ceramic and I accidentally broke

00:45:55.679 --> 00:45:58.800
one and now the set doesn't make sense. I'm really

00:45:58.800 --> 00:46:01.460
bummed about this. Do you have any ideas, like

00:46:01.460 --> 00:46:04.019
maybe a way to find a replacement? I've tried

00:46:04.019 --> 00:46:09.920
but to no avail. Jeremy in Georgia. He asked

00:46:09.920 --> 00:46:11.880
me, but Rob, do you have a suggestion? And then

00:46:11.880 --> 00:46:14.980
I've got a suggestion too, I think. Not really.

00:46:15.940 --> 00:46:24.760
Okay. Not really. Jeremy, use the set. The first

00:46:24.760 --> 00:46:28.159
person to mention that it is missing one, you

00:46:28.159 --> 00:46:32.079
simply accuse them of taking it for a practical

00:46:32.079 --> 00:46:35.460
joke and demand it back. Then they are on the

00:46:35.460 --> 00:46:39.949
offensive and you are off the hook. Do they get

00:46:39.949 --> 00:46:44.429
a word? They go, hey. I mean, I don't even think

00:46:44.429 --> 00:46:46.269
people are going to notice it, honestly, do you?

00:46:46.329 --> 00:46:48.869
I mean, if this is actually a real email and

00:46:48.869 --> 00:46:52.010
Jeremy really does want some ideas or if he's

00:46:52.010 --> 00:46:54.230
just, you know, being ha -ha with us, I don't

00:46:54.230 --> 00:46:57.469
know. But if you're serious, number one, I don't

00:46:57.469 --> 00:46:59.210
think they'll notice they're missing one of the

00:46:59.210 --> 00:47:01.630
coasters. You know, it could be in the other

00:47:01.630 --> 00:47:05.500
room. But if someone does say something. You

00:47:05.500 --> 00:47:07.420
just accused them of taking it for a practical

00:47:07.420 --> 00:47:09.440
joke. It was right up there. What did you do

00:47:09.440 --> 00:47:12.099
with it? And then they go, I didn't do anything

00:47:12.099 --> 00:47:14.800
with it. You go, oh, come on, man. Come on. You're

00:47:14.800 --> 00:47:16.380
the one that mentioned it. You took it. What

00:47:16.380 --> 00:47:19.239
happened to it? Did you hide it? You know, all

00:47:19.239 --> 00:47:23.059
right, funny joke. Now bring it back. Then they're

00:47:23.059 --> 00:47:25.699
on the offensive, and they think that you have

00:47:25.699 --> 00:47:28.139
one around there. I don't know what else. That

00:47:28.139 --> 00:47:31.059
sound about right, Rob? Yeah, that sounds about

00:47:31.059 --> 00:47:33.300
right. Okay, all right. All right, we move on.

00:47:46.699 --> 00:47:51.760
You know, I like both Skid Row albums. Go ahead.

00:47:52.820 --> 00:47:54.639
Slave to the Grind I like a little bit better.

00:47:56.219 --> 00:48:00.719
I feel the same way. I got the edge of Slave

00:48:00.719 --> 00:48:02.659
to the Grind. It was a little bit harder, a little

00:48:02.659 --> 00:48:06.829
bit more edgy. It was good. But both of them

00:48:06.829 --> 00:48:12.389
are great. And Mitch, captain of the Elks Lodge

00:48:12.389 --> 00:48:15.349
houseboat on Lake Freeman's North Shore. Thank

00:48:15.349 --> 00:48:18.869
you. You notice how Mitch is transitioning into

00:48:18.869 --> 00:48:22.949
just like asking us questions now? Hey, wait

00:48:22.949 --> 00:48:29.489
a second. Yeah. If that's an elk on the water,

00:48:29.610 --> 00:48:32.670
that means he has beer on the water. Hey, y 'all.

00:48:33.099 --> 00:48:39.840
Hey, I'm going to check this out. Mitch, I know

00:48:39.840 --> 00:48:42.280
you don't have so much of a problem with me anymore,

00:48:42.360 --> 00:48:45.340
but you still may not want me around. So, hey,

00:48:45.480 --> 00:48:48.920
how about Rob? Take him on your houseboat. Give

00:48:48.920 --> 00:48:51.920
him some beers. He's always welcomed me. Yeah,

00:48:52.000 --> 00:48:57.420
he's never welcomed me. But, you know, I did

00:48:57.420 --> 00:49:01.960
make him run through a field with a boner. I

00:49:01.960 --> 00:49:07.619
get it. All right. You know, that man holds a

00:49:07.619 --> 00:49:12.400
grudge. What can I say? I guess. He should have

00:49:12.400 --> 00:49:14.800
been trying to bang a chick and that girl's in

00:49:14.800 --> 00:49:21.559
her car. So, anyhow. All right. All right. Hey,

00:49:21.719 --> 00:49:23.739
you know what? Seriously, thank you, Mitch. We

00:49:23.739 --> 00:49:26.219
appreciate the emails. Yes, thank you, Mitch.

00:49:26.989 --> 00:49:29.730
All right, next one. I like to sing Love Will

00:49:29.730 --> 00:49:32.329
Keep Us Together by Captain and Tennille. Does

00:49:32.329 --> 00:49:35.329
this make me a pussy? Teddy and Dover, Pride,

00:49:35.429 --> 00:49:44.409
Delaware. Yes. Rob? I'm sorry, Mark. I got to

00:49:44.409 --> 00:49:48.250
go get you on this. My mom, but Captain Tennille.

00:49:49.070 --> 00:49:52.329
I listen to Captain Tennille over there. Yeah,

00:49:52.329 --> 00:49:55.309
I got to go with you, dude. I got to go with

00:49:55.309 --> 00:49:58.679
you on that one. In honor of your mom, I'm going

00:49:58.679 --> 00:50:03.000
to... Teddy and Dover, you're not a pussy. I

00:50:03.000 --> 00:50:08.519
was wrong. My mom even had an 8 -track of Captain

00:50:08.519 --> 00:50:16.400
Tamil Inner's 74 Geodude. Oh, okay. Yeah, so...

00:50:16.400 --> 00:50:19.539
It was a nice car. It was supposed to be my first

00:50:19.539 --> 00:50:26.210
car, but it did not work. Oh. Okay, in honor

00:50:26.210 --> 00:50:31.030
of your mom, Teddy, you are not a pussy. Captain

00:50:31.030 --> 00:50:34.309
and Tennille is fucking, that is large dick music.

00:50:34.309 --> 00:50:38.969
They rock. They rock. Yep. Yep, you are definitely

00:50:38.969 --> 00:50:42.809
swinging if you listen to Captain and Tennille.

00:50:42.929 --> 00:50:46.050
You're not a pussy. I put a right up there with

00:50:46.050 --> 00:50:48.840
Bob different. Or John different. John Denver.

00:50:48.900 --> 00:50:51.619
Yeah, Bob Denver's kick -ass, too. I know, I

00:50:51.619 --> 00:50:54.159
know. He was kick -ass. Well, I watched a lot

00:50:54.159 --> 00:50:56.960
of Bob Denver, too, so, yeah. Oh, yeah, Gilligan

00:50:56.960 --> 00:50:59.380
was great. And Bob Denver was great. He was a

00:50:59.380 --> 00:51:03.480
big stoner. I loved him. Yeah, John Denver, yeah.

00:51:03.780 --> 00:51:07.420
I listened to him, too, so, yeah. I love that

00:51:07.420 --> 00:51:09.659
guy. You don't want to hear Bob and John Denver

00:51:09.659 --> 00:51:12.480
do a duet. It would have to be AI now because

00:51:12.480 --> 00:51:15.619
they're both past, but... You know what? They

00:51:15.619 --> 00:51:17.780
could call themselves the Denver Brothers. That

00:51:17.780 --> 00:51:23.699
would be good. Skipper! Skipper! Rocky Mountain

00:51:23.699 --> 00:51:29.380
High! I think we're on to something. That would

00:51:29.380 --> 00:51:33.059
be great. Oh, gosh. And that would be such stoner

00:51:33.059 --> 00:51:35.460
music, too, wouldn't it? You slam down a couple

00:51:35.460 --> 00:51:36.960
of gummies and listen to that, you'd be like,

00:51:37.039 --> 00:51:41.000
oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, this is it. Oh, yeah. Oh,

00:51:41.059 --> 00:51:44.380
hell yeah. Oh, angels and harps, Rob. What do

00:51:44.380 --> 00:51:47.260
you think? What? I was looking at the wall. Yeah,

00:51:47.280 --> 00:51:49.239
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Angels and harps. You're

00:51:49.239 --> 00:51:52.880
right. Yeah, yeah. Dude, I think I would actually

00:51:52.880 --> 00:51:57.920
stop working if that came on the radio. I would

00:51:57.920 --> 00:52:00.340
start taking my clothes off and dancing. And

00:52:00.340 --> 00:52:05.679
nobody thinks I would ever stop working. Especially

00:52:05.679 --> 00:52:10.159
Captain and Daniil and Bob Denver. Yeah. Or John

00:52:10.159 --> 00:52:13.820
Denver. John Denver. Mix them all. Oh, hell yeah.

00:52:13.980 --> 00:52:16.940
And then a little Bob Denver mixed in. Skipper.

00:52:17.619 --> 00:52:23.039
Oh, hell yeah. Fuck yeah. And Jell -O. Yeah,

00:52:23.159 --> 00:52:26.480
yeah, yeah, yeah. A big bad of Jell -O. If you

00:52:26.480 --> 00:52:29.280
don't know who we're talking about, look them

00:52:29.280 --> 00:52:33.139
up. Yes, yes. Yeah, Jell -O. You know what? I

00:52:33.139 --> 00:52:37.949
had a request. Yeah, we're older. I had a request

00:52:37.949 --> 00:52:40.510
about my Jell -O party that I had, a Halloween

00:52:40.510 --> 00:52:43.989
Jell -O party. The only admission was you had

00:52:43.989 --> 00:52:46.110
to bring a five -gallon bucket of Jell -O and

00:52:46.110 --> 00:52:50.889
throw it in the swimming pool. Yep. And all the

00:52:50.889 --> 00:52:53.210
chicks were supposed to jump in there and start,

00:52:53.349 --> 00:52:59.550
I guess, like Jell -O wrestling. Well, that didn't

00:52:59.550 --> 00:53:01.650
happen. Instead, everyone grabbed Jell -O and

00:53:01.650 --> 00:53:03.989
started pelting the place I rented with Jell

00:53:03.989 --> 00:53:07.360
-O all over the walls everywhere. Oh, my gosh.

00:53:07.400 --> 00:53:09.840
I owe money. It sucked. But anyhow, all right.

00:53:10.659 --> 00:53:15.199
That's what you did. It was a great idea on paper.

00:53:15.260 --> 00:53:17.340
With all of our friends, that's what you got.

00:53:17.679 --> 00:53:20.860
It was a great idea on paper, Rob. It was great

00:53:20.860 --> 00:53:26.119
on paper. And that's it. So, all right. I was

00:53:26.119 --> 00:53:28.400
wondering where I can see a picture of all the

00:53:28.400 --> 00:53:31.599
podcast hosts, even new guy. Where can I find

00:53:31.599 --> 00:53:34.460
this Terry? But he didn't say where he's from.

00:53:35.809 --> 00:53:40.510
Okay, there's two Facebook pages of Two Douchebags

00:53:40.510 --> 00:53:43.929
and Microphone Podcast. And new guy will not

00:53:43.929 --> 00:53:49.750
let his picture be taken. No, I think he's in

00:53:49.750 --> 00:53:52.750
witness protection. I mean, I don't know. He

00:53:52.750 --> 00:53:54.989
does not want his picture taken. He's kind of

00:53:54.989 --> 00:53:59.090
like Brandon. I recently put the Brandon segment

00:53:59.090 --> 00:54:01.989
in. Actually, he's a lot like Jeff Yates. Yes.

00:54:02.010 --> 00:54:07.949
You can't, yeah. Yeah, so he can't do it. He's

00:54:07.949 --> 00:54:19.530
incognito or something. Now, I will put an updated

00:54:19.530 --> 00:54:23.289
picture on the Facebook page. Cool. I'm going

00:54:23.289 --> 00:54:26.769
to get an updated picture of my nutsack. Actually,

00:54:27.050 --> 00:54:30.949
yeah, I need to get a little more active with

00:54:30.949 --> 00:54:35.150
the Facebook page. Okay. Honestly, I've been

00:54:35.150 --> 00:54:38.989
having quite a few notifications lately. We're

00:54:38.989 --> 00:54:42.650
getting new followers. Oh, good. Yeah, I got

00:54:42.650 --> 00:54:45.909
a notification yesterday saying we had seven

00:54:45.909 --> 00:54:48.469
new followers. I haven't talked about our numbers

00:54:48.469 --> 00:54:53.489
lately. After our millionth download, I was really

00:54:53.489 --> 00:54:55.630
satisfied with that. Our numbers are just going

00:54:55.630 --> 00:54:58.429
off the hook, so that's probably why we're getting

00:54:58.429 --> 00:55:01.170
so many new followers. People are looking it

00:55:01.170 --> 00:55:04.449
up and going, hey, here they are. So, yeah. All

00:55:04.449 --> 00:55:09.409
right, excellent. But new guy, you're not going

00:55:09.409 --> 00:55:11.570
to get his picture, but everybody else, Topher

00:55:11.570 --> 00:55:14.250
and I, we have our picture up on one of them.

00:55:14.550 --> 00:55:17.570
And then Rob and I have our picture up on the

00:55:17.570 --> 00:55:20.130
other one. When you put them both together, kind

00:55:20.130 --> 00:55:22.489
of like, you know, a Reese's peanut butter cup,

00:55:22.670 --> 00:55:25.590
that will be all of the hosts except for new

00:55:25.590 --> 00:55:30.630
guy. Yeah, and actually, for me, you'll probably

00:55:30.630 --> 00:55:34.610
have to go back a little ways to get mine. Yep,

00:55:34.610 --> 00:55:37.250
but we're on there, so there you go. But I will

00:55:37.250 --> 00:55:41.210
put more of that Dave picture next time I get

00:55:41.210 --> 00:55:45.449
a chance. And my nutsack is going up there, too.

00:55:46.070 --> 00:55:49.670
I'm going to send you a picture of my nutsack,

00:55:49.670 --> 00:55:53.469
Rob. Will you put it up there? Yeah, I'll put

00:55:53.469 --> 00:55:56.349
yours on. Mine ain't going on there. Not right

00:55:56.349 --> 00:55:58.570
now. Well, you wear a loincloth. Everybody's

00:55:58.570 --> 00:56:00.730
seen them. I mean, you crochet with your toes.

00:56:00.909 --> 00:56:03.110
Well, good point. Yeah, yeah. Everyone's already

00:56:03.110 --> 00:56:06.550
seen it, so. All right. Well, not tonight, like

00:56:06.550 --> 00:56:08.630
we talked about. I'm still at my work clothes.

00:56:08.809 --> 00:56:11.269
Yeah, yeah. I got it on later. The loincloth

00:56:11.269 --> 00:56:14.929
comes on later, so. Yep. All right. Yeah, that's

00:56:14.929 --> 00:56:19.170
it. Yeah. All right, and finally. Mark, will

00:56:19.170 --> 00:56:22.210
you research the reports of satanic rituals on

00:56:22.210 --> 00:56:24.570
Epstein Island? I can't seem to get anywhere

00:56:24.570 --> 00:56:27.130
looking. I found various conflicting reports.

00:56:27.469 --> 00:56:31.630
Mary in St. Louis. Yes, I will. Actually, I was

00:56:31.630 --> 00:56:34.050
already looking that stuff up when I got your

00:56:34.050 --> 00:56:37.610
email. Actually, if you want some help, I can

00:56:37.610 --> 00:56:40.150
get French or something. That would be great.

00:56:40.869 --> 00:56:48.239
Yes, yes, please. Please do. Because... cannibalism

00:56:48.239 --> 00:56:52.039
has been confirmed so I'm pretty sure that ritualistic

00:56:52.039 --> 00:56:56.440
satanic abuse is not very far away because it's

00:56:56.440 --> 00:57:00.280
been widely known for a long time that they do

00:57:00.280 --> 00:57:06.340
this for power allegedly destroying a child in

00:57:06.340 --> 00:57:10.840
the satanic rituals are supposed to give you

00:57:10.840 --> 00:57:16.980
power so And so, you know, it would not surprise

00:57:16.980 --> 00:57:20.900
me one bit. So, all right. That is the end of

00:57:20.900 --> 00:57:23.119
the emails. We'll get into that. I'm going to

00:57:23.119 --> 00:57:25.480
research it, and I guess Princess is going to

00:57:25.480 --> 00:57:29.539
also, right? Yeah, as soon as I get done with

00:57:29.539 --> 00:57:32.239
my next statement, I'll send her a message, and

00:57:32.239 --> 00:57:34.739
if she's not busy, she'll get on. She might be

00:57:34.739 --> 00:57:40.320
cooking my dinner, right? Okay, and Mary in St.

00:57:40.460 --> 00:57:45.260
Louis, thank you. That is a very good subject.

00:57:45.400 --> 00:57:49.699
I like that one. I do, too. So we will look it

00:57:49.699 --> 00:57:51.960
up for you, Murray, and we will try to give you

00:57:51.960 --> 00:57:56.260
the most accurate description that we can. All

00:57:56.260 --> 00:58:00.340
right, let's turn this over to you, Rob. All

00:58:00.340 --> 00:58:04.199
right. Well, you know. I know what it is. You

00:58:04.199 --> 00:58:14.550
know. I'm a bag of garbage. Oh, shit. Yeah? That

00:58:14.550 --> 00:58:18.969
was a burrito wrapper. It really is a bag of

00:58:18.969 --> 00:58:21.590
garbage. I'm trying out. Yeah, no, seriously.

00:58:21.989 --> 00:58:25.210
There was a burrito wrapper at some point. I

00:58:25.210 --> 00:58:30.630
don't know. Oh, well. That's no joke. A little

00:58:30.630 --> 00:58:35.690
surprise there. Oh, fuck. I need to replace that.

00:58:35.750 --> 00:58:46.369
This one's wide open. Oh, yeah. Why not? This

00:58:46.369 --> 00:58:50.690
goes right along with our beginning of the night.

00:58:51.269 --> 00:58:59.369
Okay. Okay. More history for you. Okay. In the

00:58:59.369 --> 00:59:04.389
18th century, if someone nearly drowned in the

00:59:04.389 --> 00:59:09.349
River Thames, doctors didn't perform CPR because

00:59:09.349 --> 00:59:12.889
modern resuscitation techniques didn't exist

00:59:12.889 --> 00:59:17.539
yet. Instead, they turned to a bizarre method

00:59:17.539 --> 00:59:22.739
that today sounds almost unbelievable. The tobacco

00:59:22.739 --> 00:59:30.420
smoke enema. Okay. Along the Thames Riverbank,

00:59:30.599 --> 00:59:34.079
special resuscitation kits were placed for emergencies.

00:59:34.559 --> 00:59:40.579
These kits included bellows, tubes, and tobacco.

00:59:41.079 --> 00:59:45.610
The procedure involved blowing warm tobacco smoke

00:59:45.610 --> 00:59:53.849
into the victim's rectum. Yes, I said that. Why?

00:59:54.389 --> 01:00:02.289
And this is in the Times River? Yeah. Okay. Go

01:00:02.289 --> 01:00:04.170
ahead. I just want to make sure. They had these

01:00:04.170 --> 01:00:10.650
kids on the riverbanks. And why? At the time,

01:00:10.670 --> 01:00:13.570
doctors believed the warm smoke would heat the

01:00:13.570 --> 01:00:17.110
body from the inside and stimulate breathing

01:00:17.110 --> 01:00:21.630
in the heart. It was based on the limited medical

01:00:21.630 --> 01:00:25.570
knowledge of the era. And for decades, it was

01:00:25.570 --> 01:00:29.309
considered legitimate emergency care. But as

01:00:29.309 --> 01:00:32.449
medical science advanced, the truth became clear.

01:00:33.750 --> 01:00:37.880
Nicotine is... Toxic in high doses and the treatment

01:00:37.880 --> 01:00:42.960
is not only ineffective, it could be harmful.

01:00:43.239 --> 01:00:47.860
Eventually, the practice was abandoned as real

01:00:47.860 --> 01:00:54.139
resuscitation methods like artificial respiration

01:00:54.139 --> 01:00:58.820
and later CPR were developed. It's a powerful

01:00:58.820 --> 01:01:02.260
reminder that even widely accepted medical practices

01:01:02.260 --> 01:01:05.989
can be completely overturned. by better science.

01:01:07.809 --> 01:01:15.869
Wow. How crazy. Yeah, I had to. I had to go there.

01:01:17.130 --> 01:01:24.150
Yeah, I mean, I could see back in the day, you

01:01:24.150 --> 01:01:30.190
know. Yeah, I could too. I mean, actually, it

01:01:30.190 --> 01:01:37.750
makes more sense than... It makes more sense

01:01:37.750 --> 01:01:40.590
than a lot of the other... Yeah, yeah, I get

01:01:40.590 --> 01:01:42.530
it. That makes more sense than a lot of the other

01:01:42.530 --> 01:01:53.369
things that they've done, so okay. Well, you

01:01:53.369 --> 01:02:04.619
are. You are. Yeah. Very cool. Okay. Okay. for

01:02:04.619 --> 01:02:08.619
this bag. Oh, shit. I'm going to have to hold

01:02:08.619 --> 01:02:11.019
this side. I'm going to have to hold this side.

01:02:11.179 --> 01:02:20.739
Here we go. The last time for that bag. Oh, hey,

01:02:20.840 --> 01:02:27.139
this is a cool one. Okay. The famous green van

01:02:27.139 --> 01:02:31.159
from Up and Smoke supposedly constructed entirely

01:02:31.159 --> 01:02:36.389
from fiber weed. Pardon the cannibals. Cannabis

01:02:36.389 --> 01:02:40.150
resin. You know what I'm talking about. Yes,

01:02:40.150 --> 01:02:46.449
absolutely. It was actually built using a heavily

01:02:46.449 --> 01:02:53.309
modified 1947 Chevy Step Van. In the film, the

01:02:53.309 --> 01:02:58.110
van proudly displayed the California license

01:02:58.110 --> 01:03:06.289
plate Y -E -S -C -A. Yes, California. A fitting

01:03:06.289 --> 01:03:10.309
joke for a movie centered on stoner misadventures.

01:03:11.630 --> 01:03:15.789
One of the film's less -known pieces of trivia,

01:03:15.829 --> 01:03:19.130
however, involves a different vehicle altogether.

01:03:22.070 --> 01:03:34.570
The van he played, MUF DVR, Which appeared on

01:03:34.570 --> 01:03:38.650
Cheech's earlier car, which would have been a

01:03:38.650 --> 01:03:42.050
lowrider. They stopped on the side of the highway.

01:03:43.369 --> 01:03:48.369
Uh -huh. Was not created by a prop department.

01:03:50.710 --> 01:03:57.289
That license plate on his Impala was not created

01:03:57.289 --> 01:04:03.119
by the prop department. The personalized plate

01:04:03.119 --> 01:04:09.079
reportedly belonged to a real LAPD officer who

01:04:09.079 --> 01:04:13.599
is working security during production. Amused

01:04:13.599 --> 01:04:17.039
by the joke, the officer willingly lent his plate

01:04:17.039 --> 01:04:22.239
to the filmmakers. This creates a delicious layer

01:04:22.239 --> 01:04:26.760
of irony while Up and Smoke celebrates anti -establishment

01:04:26.760 --> 01:04:32.500
chaos and marijuana smuggling. One of his cheekiest

01:04:32.500 --> 01:04:36.559
background gags actually gave courtesy of a real

01:04:36.559 --> 01:04:41.179
police officer, though not on the iconic fiber

01:04:41.179 --> 01:04:47.579
wheat van itself. Wow. So yeah, the license plate

01:04:47.579 --> 01:04:54.179
on the Impala came off an actual LAPD officer's

01:04:54.179 --> 01:05:03.000
personal vehicle. Okay, very cool. That is cool.

01:05:03.260 --> 01:05:06.920
Yeah, that's awesome news. That's awesome. We

01:05:06.920 --> 01:05:09.719
knew it was coming. We knew it was coming. Very

01:05:09.719 --> 01:05:12.840
cool. All right, let's take our second break.

01:05:12.940 --> 01:05:16.340
But before we go to our break, we are going to

01:05:16.340 --> 01:05:18.920
explain to you how to win dinner with the douchebags.

01:05:24.659 --> 01:05:28.099
And now we look in on the adventures of the Technical

01:05:28.099 --> 01:05:32.090
Explanation Guy. Excuse me, my dear sir. Could

01:05:32.090 --> 01:05:35.130
you please put my plain bread in a small countertop

01:05:35.130 --> 01:05:37.269
appliance with heating elements that would spring

01:05:37.269 --> 01:05:39.789
-loaded and would brown my bread adequately?

01:05:40.150 --> 01:05:42.869
Well, first off, I'm not a waiter. I'm just a

01:05:42.869 --> 01:05:44.969
guy over there sitting at the table having a

01:05:44.969 --> 01:05:47.670
drink. Second off, are you talking about someone

01:05:47.670 --> 01:05:50.670
toasting your bread? Why, yes. Yes, I am. I'm

01:05:50.670 --> 01:05:52.710
talking about my bread being toasted. Then why

01:05:52.710 --> 01:05:54.829
don't you just ask for your bread to be toasted,

01:05:54.909 --> 01:05:57.190
you dumb bastard? What the hell's wrong with

01:05:57.190 --> 01:06:00.190
you? Hello, this is Phineas J. Valtaris III.

01:06:01.030 --> 01:06:03.670
I'm here to deliver your music news this evening.

01:06:08.010 --> 01:06:10.590
Faith No More and Mr. Bungle lead singer Mike

01:06:10.590 --> 01:06:13.789
Patton was falsely identified as a sexual predator

01:06:13.789 --> 01:06:17.449
in Ohio. A person that has Mike's same name confused

01:06:17.449 --> 01:06:20.150
Google AI and then identified the singer as a

01:06:20.150 --> 01:06:23.070
predator. Mike Patton, the singer, is working

01:06:23.070 --> 01:06:25.130
on getting the false information scrubbed off

01:06:25.130 --> 01:06:28.409
the internet. This is only the tip of the iceberg.

01:06:29.130 --> 01:06:34.590
This is Phineas J. Baltar S. III. That has been

01:06:34.590 --> 01:06:37.590
your music news for this evening. I have one

01:06:37.590 --> 01:06:40.590
burning question for you all. Do people really

01:06:40.590 --> 01:06:45.409
skip around the Maypole? Hey there, fuckstick.

01:06:45.909 --> 01:06:48.210
You're just in time for brand new feature news

01:06:48.210 --> 01:06:51.070
nobody gives a shit about. Bumblebees have been

01:06:51.070 --> 01:06:57.599
proven to sing to their young. Have you ever

01:06:57.599 --> 01:06:59.579
wondered what something came about? Have you

01:06:59.579 --> 01:07:01.659
ever looked at something and said, hmm, I wonder

01:07:01.659 --> 01:07:04.559
what the origin of that is? Well, so have we.

01:07:05.000 --> 01:07:09.900
That's why we give you The Origin of... The Origin

01:07:09.900 --> 01:07:14.980
of Knee -High Soft Drinks. Claude Hatcher overheard

01:07:14.980 --> 01:07:17.679
a route salesman enter the plant one day and

01:07:17.679 --> 01:07:20.300
describe the competitor's tall bottle as being

01:07:20.300 --> 01:07:24.449
knee -high. NEHI originated with the Cherro Cola

01:07:24.449 --> 01:07:28.289
Company in Columbus, Georgia by Claude A. Hatcher

01:07:28.289 --> 01:07:33.349
in 1912. Since the dawn of time, weird shit has

01:07:33.349 --> 01:07:36.630
happened. Strange occurrences, unexplained phobias,

01:07:36.630 --> 01:07:39.610
and other odd happenings. Over the next minute,

01:07:39.670 --> 01:07:42.250
we would like to bring you odd, rare phobias

01:07:42.250 --> 01:07:45.750
and conditions. Hutchinson -Gilford Progeria

01:07:45.750 --> 01:07:49.429
Syndrome. Cases known on Earth 100 to possibly

01:07:49.429 --> 01:07:52.849
150. This causes young children to age quickly,

01:07:52.969 --> 01:07:55.889
such as hair loss, thin, fragile skin, and cardiovascular

01:07:55.889 --> 01:07:58.809
issues, while the child's mental capacity stays

01:07:58.809 --> 01:08:01.969
the same. There is unknown cure and very little

01:08:01.969 --> 01:08:09.769
treatment options. Strange, but true. In a remote

01:08:09.769 --> 01:08:13.230
area of the Amazon rainforest, a small parasitic

01:08:13.230 --> 01:08:16.550
catfish is reported to swim and cave the urethas

01:08:16.550 --> 01:08:19.210
of those who are mating in the Amazon River.

01:08:19.659 --> 01:08:22.199
also called the vampire fish, that follows a

01:08:22.199 --> 01:08:25.439
urine stream, lodges itself in the urethra, expands

01:08:25.439 --> 01:08:28.140
its fins to stay in place, and consumes tissue

01:08:28.140 --> 01:08:31.979
until hemorrhaging kills the host. The reports

01:08:31.979 --> 01:08:34.500
date back to the 19th century. The first documented

01:08:34.500 --> 01:08:39.880
removal from the human occurred in 1997. Continuing

01:08:39.880 --> 01:08:42.399
our quest here at Two Deuce Bags and a Microphone

01:08:42.399 --> 01:08:46.720
to be constantly funny, once again we offer you

01:08:47.529 --> 01:08:53.130
Strange insults from an alien. When you always

01:08:53.130 --> 01:08:55.229
get it from your computer, your headphones don't

01:08:55.229 --> 01:08:59.350
catch them. You watched the news. It looks grim.

01:08:59.689 --> 01:09:03.590
Is an apocalypse inevitable? We suggest you download

01:09:03.590 --> 01:09:06.789
all our podcasts beforehand and have multiple

01:09:06.789 --> 01:09:10.930
mobile chargers. We have the post -apocalypse.

01:09:12.569 --> 01:09:15.970
Post -apocalypse protein might be hard to come

01:09:15.970 --> 01:09:19.029
by. The animals could be contaminated or scarce,

01:09:19.170 --> 01:09:22.109
if any at all. This is where protein powder is

01:09:22.109 --> 01:09:25.390
essential in a post -apocalypse survival. The

01:09:25.390 --> 01:09:28.449
powder is easy to keep and does not require refrigeration.

01:09:37.569 --> 01:09:40.770
Two douchebags and a microphone. I'm Mark here

01:09:40.770 --> 01:09:45.479
in the Kansas City Metroplex. At the Talk is

01:09:45.479 --> 01:09:53.399
Cheap studio. My goat is pathetic. I'm sorry,

01:09:53.479 --> 01:09:57.180
man. I got too much. Anyhow. Sorry. Go ahead.

01:09:57.319 --> 01:09:58.960
It's been a long week. It's been a long week.

01:09:59.039 --> 01:10:05.840
Yes, it has. I am in Wheatland, Missouri. Home

01:10:05.840 --> 01:10:08.920
of the magnificent Lucas Oil Speedway and Water

01:10:08.920 --> 01:10:12.720
Track. And also home of Hickam's Country Store.

01:10:13.260 --> 01:10:15.739
where you can find all your needs, including

01:10:15.739 --> 01:10:22.680
a selfie with a green synchro dinosaur and tornado

01:10:22.680 --> 01:10:27.239
selfie for your car or car wash. In the Duck

01:10:27.239 --> 01:10:30.739
Mine studio. Why not? Let's add a little bit.

01:10:30.890 --> 01:10:33.770
It might as well. Rob, I love the way you add

01:10:33.770 --> 01:10:36.710
that ever since I told you about that. Just every

01:10:36.710 --> 01:10:39.550
now and then. Just every now and then. Well,

01:10:39.729 --> 01:10:42.350
severe weather season is approaching rapidly.

01:10:42.649 --> 01:10:45.350
We're getting towards March, so it's going to

01:10:45.350 --> 01:10:47.329
start becoming more prominent. So if you're down

01:10:47.329 --> 01:10:50.390
in that area and you see large hailstones, go

01:10:50.390 --> 01:10:52.810
to Hickamos and go in their car wash like my

01:10:52.810 --> 01:10:56.670
friends did and save your car. That's your public

01:10:56.670 --> 01:10:59.170
service announcement. Now go fuck yourself. All

01:10:59.170 --> 01:11:03.670
right, I got a story here. A German practice

01:11:03.670 --> 01:11:06.710
is making its way to the United States. NBC Los

01:11:06.710 --> 01:11:12.050
Angeles reported on January 21st. Lüften, which

01:11:12.050 --> 01:11:16.149
translates to airing out, but is also called

01:11:16.149 --> 01:11:19.750
house burping. It involves opening doors and

01:11:19.750 --> 01:11:22.409
windows, even in the dead of winter, to bring

01:11:22.409 --> 01:11:26.130
in fresh air. Air quality professional Tony Abate

01:11:26.130 --> 01:11:31.329
is a fan. He said outside air can decrease concentrations

01:11:31.329 --> 01:11:35.270
of mold, contaminants, and carbon dioxide buildup.

01:11:35.850 --> 01:11:38.310
Optimal times to burp the house include first

01:11:38.310 --> 01:11:40.989
thing in the morning, after showering or cooking,

01:11:41.149 --> 01:11:44.149
and after having visitors. And it doesn't take

01:11:44.149 --> 01:11:47.250
long. Ten minutes, no more than that is really

01:11:47.250 --> 01:11:54.439
necessary. Said Abate. So, house burping. There

01:11:54.439 --> 01:11:58.460
you go. I get it. Yeah, I do too. As a matter

01:11:58.460 --> 01:12:01.260
of fact, it can be really cold. I mean, you have

01:12:01.260 --> 01:12:02.560
to turn your furnace up for it. I've had that

01:12:02.560 --> 01:12:05.659
for years. I really have. Yeah, me too. Even

01:12:05.659 --> 01:12:08.020
when it's really cold, that crisp air coming

01:12:08.020 --> 01:12:10.699
in really kind of gets all that contaminated,

01:12:10.859 --> 01:12:14.659
stale air out of there. And, I mean, you have

01:12:14.659 --> 01:12:16.500
to turn your furnace up afterwards to heat the

01:12:16.500 --> 01:12:19.340
house up, but it's well worth it. It's well worth

01:12:19.340 --> 01:12:21.819
it. I just feel so much better with the fresh

01:12:21.819 --> 01:12:25.909
air in there. So, I agree with that. All right,

01:12:25.930 --> 01:12:31.289
Rob, you got something? Yes, I do. All right.

01:12:31.409 --> 01:12:37.970
That sounds good. Okay, there's so many damn

01:12:37.970 --> 01:12:40.130
different ways to pronounce this guy's name.

01:12:41.489 --> 01:12:46.609
I'm going to pronounce it mine. Okay. Actor Shia

01:12:46.609 --> 01:12:52.010
LaBeouf. Shia LaBeouf. Yeah, you know who I'm

01:12:52.010 --> 01:12:56.750
talking about. Yes, I do. Was arrested in New

01:12:56.750 --> 01:12:59.890
Orleans and accused of hitting two people outside

01:12:59.890 --> 01:13:03.930
of a Wall Street business amid Barney Gross celebrations,

01:13:04.050 --> 01:13:09.329
according to police. Uh -huh. LeBeau? Is that

01:13:09.329 --> 01:13:13.970
how you say it? LeBeau. LeBeau. LeBeau. Okay.

01:13:14.470 --> 01:13:17.909
39 was kicked out of the business early Tuesday

01:13:17.909 --> 01:13:20.710
after he caused a disturbance at the business.

01:13:21.350 --> 01:13:24.569
The New Orleans Police Department said. Once

01:13:24.569 --> 01:13:28.010
removed from the building, the victim reported

01:13:28.010 --> 01:13:33.609
being struck by LeBeau, who used his closed fist

01:13:33.609 --> 01:13:37.369
on the victim several times, police said in a

01:13:37.369 --> 01:13:41.989
news release. The victims reported that LeBeau

01:13:41.989 --> 01:13:46.149
left, but then came back acting even more aggressive.

01:13:47.720 --> 01:13:51.239
Multiple people tried to hold down the Transformers

01:13:51.239 --> 01:13:55.739
star and former Disney child actor, but when

01:13:55.739 --> 01:13:59.539
they let him out to allow him to leave, LeBeau

01:13:59.539 --> 01:14:04.880
is alleged to have hit the same victim with a

01:14:04.880 --> 01:14:09.500
closed fist to the upper body, police said. LeBeau

01:14:09.500 --> 01:14:13.180
then reportedly assaulted another person, punching

01:14:13.180 --> 01:14:17.479
him in the nose. Police said LeBeau was again

01:14:17.479 --> 01:14:23.180
held down until police arrived. LeBeau was taken

01:14:23.180 --> 01:14:26.260
to the hospital for treatment of unknown injuries

01:14:26.260 --> 01:14:30.000
and he was arrested upon his release. He was

01:14:30.000 --> 01:14:33.300
charged with two counts of simple battery, according

01:14:33.300 --> 01:14:39.220
to police and online records. It is not clear

01:14:39.220 --> 01:14:46.630
what circumstances led to the incident. Wow.

01:14:46.630 --> 01:14:50.949
Wow. There's actually some pretty good video

01:14:50.949 --> 01:14:54.109
footage of it if you look it up online. Yeah.

01:14:54.430 --> 01:14:57.550
I mean, I think there was alcohol involved. It's

01:14:57.550 --> 01:14:59.649
New Orleans, you know, and it's Mardi Gras time.

01:15:00.510 --> 01:15:04.529
Yeah, see, that's what it was saying, how he

01:15:04.529 --> 01:15:06.710
was down at the Mardi Gras and stuff. Mm -hmm.

01:15:10.689 --> 01:15:16.119
Yeah. Oh, yeah. Well, see, he's been fighting

01:15:16.119 --> 01:15:19.840
alcoholism. Yeah, he has. That's true. That's

01:15:19.840 --> 01:15:23.500
a good point. He has been. And here, yeah, I

01:15:23.500 --> 01:15:25.760
just went down even further and said, at the

01:15:25.760 --> 01:15:30.600
time of the suit, LeBeau said he had no excuses

01:15:30.600 --> 01:15:37.600
for his alcoholism or aggression, only rationalizations.

01:15:39.420 --> 01:15:46.350
Okay. So, yeah, I... Oh, dude. Well, he's going

01:15:46.350 --> 01:15:48.909
to be paying out quite a bit of money. I mean,

01:15:49.029 --> 01:15:53.069
the video shows him just being kind of on a rampage.

01:15:53.670 --> 01:15:58.529
So he's going to be showing Elson Doe he may

01:15:58.529 --> 01:16:01.510
watch what he's doing from here on out. I don't

01:16:01.510 --> 01:16:04.729
know. Right. And to be honest, he ain't no punk

01:16:04.729 --> 01:16:07.729
from what I've seen. Yeah. I haven't seen that

01:16:07.729 --> 01:16:11.350
video, but he ain't no punk. No, no. I know that

01:16:11.350 --> 01:16:13.829
from the past. No, no, no, you're right. You're

01:16:13.829 --> 01:16:18.050
right, he isn't. So, yeah, he's, yeah. He needs

01:16:18.050 --> 01:16:20.310
to get that figured out. I can tell you that

01:16:20.310 --> 01:16:25.289
right now, so. All right, thank you, Rob. You

01:16:25.289 --> 01:16:27.470
ever wonder what the least and most expensive

01:16:27.470 --> 01:16:35.489
grocery chains are in America? No, I really haven't.

01:16:35.489 --> 01:16:39.159
Kind of like you all, though, but tell me. Okay,

01:16:39.239 --> 01:16:46.399
the least expensive chains in America goes like

01:16:46.399 --> 01:16:51.880
this. Costco is number one least expensive chain.

01:16:53.319 --> 01:16:56.880
Number two is BJ's, and it's like a Costco. It's

01:16:56.880 --> 01:17:02.180
a wholesale warehouse. Liddy, I don't know that

01:17:02.180 --> 01:17:05.039
much about them. L -I -D -D -Y is number three.

01:17:05.659 --> 01:17:13.439
Aldi. is number four winco is number five heb

01:17:13.439 --> 01:17:16.460
is number six they have them down in texas quite

01:17:16.460 --> 01:17:21.979
all over walmart is number seven and i believe

01:17:21.979 --> 01:17:25.279
that's probably sam's club too i imagine market

01:17:25.279 --> 01:17:29.680
basket is eight target is nine and wegmans is

01:17:29.680 --> 01:17:34.300
10. now here is the most expensive one according

01:17:34.300 --> 01:17:37.720
to um Damn it, I forgot to write down the online

01:17:37.720 --> 01:17:40.880
magazine that I read this in, but you can find

01:17:40.880 --> 01:17:42.760
it. Just Google it if you're that interested

01:17:42.760 --> 01:17:46.279
in it. The most expensive is, number one is Whole

01:17:46.279 --> 01:17:50.319
Foods. Number two is Shaw's. I'm not sure where

01:17:50.319 --> 01:17:53.699
that is. Number three is El Rancho. I'm not sure

01:17:53.699 --> 01:17:57.159
what that is. Jewel Osco. I've shopped at one

01:17:57.159 --> 01:17:59.420
of them before, so yeah, they are pretty expensive.

01:18:00.420 --> 01:18:05.670
Mariano's. Osco, yeah. Vaughn's, which is Safeway,

01:18:05.770 --> 01:18:11.270
number six. Okay. Big Y is number seven, whoever

01:18:11.270 --> 01:18:14.510
they are. Tom Thumb, which I've shopped at before,

01:18:14.689 --> 01:18:19.909
number eight. Number nine would be Albertson's.

01:18:20.409 --> 01:18:24.710
Okay. And Albertson's is all over, too. They're

01:18:24.710 --> 01:18:27.930
in Texas and all kinds of places. Actually, they're

01:18:27.930 --> 01:18:31.710
down around Waynesville in the St. Robert area,

01:18:31.890 --> 01:18:35.199
11 and 2. Oh, are they? Albertsons is? Yeah.

01:18:35.399 --> 01:18:39.819
I didn't know that. Okay. Yes. Okay. And then

01:18:39.819 --> 01:18:42.739
finally, Trader Joe's rounds it out the most

01:18:42.739 --> 01:18:46.180
expensive at number 10. And I knew Whole Foods

01:18:46.180 --> 01:18:48.659
was going to be. Jeez, Whole Foods is ridiculous.

01:18:49.180 --> 01:18:51.979
And the stuff there isn't that much better, if

01:18:51.979 --> 01:18:57.239
any at all. Yeah, I just, I think people subscribe

01:18:57.239 --> 01:19:00.720
to it because someone told them, oh. This stuff

01:19:00.720 --> 01:19:05.380
is just so good. It's so much better. Yeah, I'm

01:19:05.380 --> 01:19:11.140
sorry. So, all right, that's it for that. It's

01:19:11.140 --> 01:19:13.619
9 -12, Rob. You are the one that haven't eaten

01:19:13.619 --> 01:19:16.699
yet and still in your work clothes. Do you choose

01:19:16.699 --> 01:19:20.119
to go on or you want to end this? Yeah, actually,

01:19:20.180 --> 01:19:23.380
I got one more. Oh, sure. Okay. Because this

01:19:23.380 --> 01:19:29.260
is, like I said, the things I found. At the end

01:19:29.260 --> 01:19:33.300
of the day, it kind of actually caught my attention.

01:19:34.239 --> 01:19:39.319
Like this one. While most of the daylight saving

01:19:39.319 --> 01:19:42.659
time related bills in Congress are focused on

01:19:42.659 --> 01:19:45.460
locking the clocks an hour ahead of standard

01:19:45.460 --> 01:19:50.100
time, a newly introduced piece of legislation

01:19:50.100 --> 01:19:55.689
is taking half that approach. The Daylight Act

01:19:55.689 --> 01:20:01.310
of 2026, introduced by Representative Greg Stubb,

01:20:01.310 --> 01:20:06.710
Representative Florida, earlier this month, calls

01:20:06.710 --> 01:20:11.310
for our clocks to slide forward a half hour from

01:20:11.310 --> 01:20:14.689
where they are now and for the twice -annual

01:20:14.689 --> 01:20:21.289
clock changes to end. I like that. Though losing

01:20:21.289 --> 01:20:25.170
a half hour of sleep would be less harmful than

01:20:25.170 --> 01:20:28.109
a whole hour of setting our clocks forward at

01:20:28.109 --> 01:20:33.310
all, it's still less desirable for health in

01:20:33.310 --> 01:20:37.229
the long run, experts say. Medically, a half

01:20:37.229 --> 01:20:40.630
hour delay would be less harmful than a full

01:20:40.630 --> 01:20:44.010
hour delay of permanent daylight saving time

01:20:44.010 --> 01:20:47.409
and would have the benefit of ending the biannual

01:20:47.409 --> 01:20:51.699
change. Dr. Karen Johnson, spokesperson for the

01:20:51.699 --> 01:20:57.899
American Medical. Yeah, I like this idea. I do

01:20:57.899 --> 01:21:02.680
too. That's interesting. I think that would work.

01:21:02.720 --> 01:21:04.300
I think you could probably get enough people

01:21:04.300 --> 01:21:06.399
on board to where they're like, okay, that's

01:21:06.399 --> 01:21:09.039
good. Yeah. Yeah, because that meets it in the

01:21:09.039 --> 01:21:17.579
middle. Hmm. Go a half hour and just leave it.

01:21:17.600 --> 01:21:20.760
You split the difference. You split the difference.

01:21:20.819 --> 01:21:25.260
It makes a lot of sense. And just leave it. Quit

01:21:25.260 --> 01:21:28.500
fucking with people. Yes, that's the main thing

01:21:28.500 --> 01:21:38.039
is just leave it. I get it. I get it. It comes

01:21:38.039 --> 01:21:41.770
with this. rotation around the sun. It's actually

01:21:41.770 --> 01:21:45.930
a little more than 24 hours. Yeah, and that's

01:21:45.930 --> 01:21:48.970
what... 24 hours or 15 minutes, something like

01:21:48.970 --> 01:21:57.710
that. Yeah. Come on. Yeah. Rob, I... Yeah. And

01:21:57.710 --> 01:22:01.409
it takes... The older you get, the longer it

01:22:01.409 --> 01:22:05.729
takes to recover. Oh, my God. Yes, it does. Yeah.

01:22:07.260 --> 01:22:10.020
All right. And we're coming up on that time.

01:22:10.159 --> 01:22:12.720
That's why I had the bridge down. I think it's

01:22:12.720 --> 01:22:16.760
two weeks. Two weeks and it's coming up. It's

01:22:16.760 --> 01:22:23.739
March. Oh, shit. March. It's probably three weeks,

01:22:23.859 --> 01:22:26.779
actually. Oh, well. All right. It's coming up

01:22:26.779 --> 01:22:30.560
soon. All right. I guess we're going to call

01:22:30.560 --> 01:22:34.140
that a wrap, right? Sounds good to me. Alrighty,

01:22:34.220 --> 01:22:37.840
everybody. Thank you for listening. Have a good

01:22:37.840 --> 01:22:43.979
night, assholes. Good night, assholes. Oh, no.

01:22:44.140 --> 01:22:47.380
Looks like the show's over, kids. Mark has explosive

01:22:47.380 --> 01:22:51.039
diarrhea and can't afford a wireless mic. Fear

01:22:51.039 --> 01:22:53.460
not, assholes. They'll be back invading your

01:22:53.460 --> 01:22:54.239
ear holes soon.