WEBVTT

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Well, well, well. We see you made it back. That's

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right. It's time for your favorite podcast, Two

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Douchebags and Microphone, live from the historic

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river market in downtown Kansas City, Missouri.

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But only on Tuesdays and sometimes Wednesdays.

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Otherwise, you get live from the Duck Wine Studio

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in Wheatland, Missouri, and the Talk is Cheap

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studio from Extreme Southern Tent with the Kansas

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City Metroplex and the surrounding areas. Let's

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grab a seat and see what kind of garbage they

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throw at us today. Enjoy. Welcome again. We're

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happy you chose us. Come on in. Wash yourself

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off. Would you enjoy a bourbon and coke? There's

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a liquor store down the road. If you go, I need

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rolling papers. Well, since you're here... Let's

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get this daily douchebag pledge out of the way.

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All right, bitches, swing your hips and pelvic

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thrust. Shout it out with me. I, Joe or Jane

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Listener, promise to download every podcast.

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I, Joe or Jane Listener, promise to make all

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friends, family members, and workmates download

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this show. I, Joe or Jane Listener. Promise to

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grab idle computers, work computers, friends

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computers, community computers, and other assorted

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phones and listening devices and download the

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show from there. I, Joe or Jane Listener, will

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download the show and constantly barrage everyone

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with show name and platforms. I, Joe or Jane

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Listener, promise to wear a chicken costume and

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scream the show's name from my front yard. And

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finally, because of our 13 -year -old boy humor,

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we must go to Knoblick Cooter. Licking in Uranus,

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Missouri to take selfies with the signs. If you

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go to Uranus, go to the fudge factory. Yes, there's

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a fudge factory in Uranus. No joke. Here at Two

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Douchebags and a Microphone, we don't stand behind

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our journalistic integrity. Go ahead and assume

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we got the story wrong. At least we admit it.

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Not like all those other guys, we can and will

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lie if it makes the story better. Two douchebags

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and a microphone. Hey peeps, it's time for the

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police blotter. That's right, stories about stupid

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criminals and the dumbassness that ensued. Let

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us begin now. During a routine traffic stop,

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Ohio officer Sergeant John Allen found a bag

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of illegal narcotics. He was about to let 29

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-year -old Sean, total of Columbus, go when he

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spotted laying in the passenger seat a clear,

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baggy, labeled bag of drugs. Have you ever wondered

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what something came about? Have you ever looked

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at something and said, hmm, I wonder what the

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origin of that is? Well, so have we. That's why

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we give you The Origin Of. This is the origin

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of Rob Rad's loincloth. Rob used to strip in

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a nightclub called McCock's on the city's east

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side. Rob was the only completely nude dancer

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at the club. The other dancers were jealous of

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Rob making all the cash and made him use a loincloth

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to dance with. Rob soon had to wear his loincloth

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daily. He found out that he could get out of

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traffic tickets, sell vinyl siding, and pick

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up hotties at the come and go. Rob now wears

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his loincloth everywhere except work. Sparks

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plus pubic hair. Equals to bad things. Yo mama's

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so stupid, she tried to climb Mountain Dew. Hey,

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my fellow heavy breathers, this is Dash Riptide

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with your music news. Glenn Hughes, the legendary

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bassist, lead singer of many, many great bands,

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such as Deep Purple, Black Sabbath, Black Country

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Communion, California Breed, and so on and so

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on. He had a U .S. tour planned for this April.

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Glenn unfortunately had to cancel due to what

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had been described as a minor medical issue.

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I already had seats for legendary rocker Knuckleheads,

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but like most times, I try to see him, and it

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gets canceled. Glenn, I love you, but no more.

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Third time getting jerked is enough. We do wish

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you a full and speedy recovery, and hopefully

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a full and speedy recovery of my fucking money.

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Again, sorry. Not sorry. This is Gash Riptine,

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and that was your music news. If it's too loud,

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you probably have ear damage, just like me. Hey

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there, fuckstick. You're just in time for brand

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new feature news nobody gives a shit about. An

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80 -year -old Virginia man hangs upside down

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for two hours a day. Now it's time for Pickup

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Lines from a Loser. Would you grab me by the

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shoulder? That way I could tell every lunny I

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was touched by an angel. Mm -hmm. Two douchebags

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and microphone. I am here in the can. I am Mark.

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First off. Second off, I am here in the Kansas

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City area at the Talk is Cheap studio, and here

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comes my goat noises because people love them,

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allegedly. No, I do not have a real goat in the

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studio. That was me. Actually, that was a good

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goat. That was one of your best ones. My goat

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is spot on tonight. By the way, I am Rob. I am

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in Wheatland, Missouri, population of 371. Also,

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home of the magnificent Lucas Oil Speedway and

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Water Track and Hickamo Country Store, where

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you can find all your needs, including a selfie

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with a green dinosaur in the Doug Barnes studio.

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Rumor has it, Dana... Oh, go ahead. And the duck

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noises are self -explanatory. Rumor has it Dino

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the dinosaur has a huge penis. Didn't you hear

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that? Oh, this one does. See? I knew it. The

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word was he has a huge penis, so you've got to

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take a picture of the next one. I pop my gas,

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I stare at him. It's rather lengthy, is it? Alright,

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there you go. Dino, good job. Good job. He's

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been around a long time. Well, no, good job Sinclair.

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Yeah, I'm glad you made it. It is an actual Sinclair

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station. Oh, okay. Sinclair, thank you for making

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Dino pack in thunder. That's awesome. Good job.

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Give us something to talk about. Yes. Yeah, years

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later. Remember Dino the dinosaur with the big

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penis? And you go, what? Who are you? You don't

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remember me? Yeah, I'm going back in the 70s

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and 80s when we were growing up. Oh, I know.

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And that was before then. I mean, because the

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first thing we remember is that dinosaur and

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the gas pumps. And then also Dino the dinosaur

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who looks identical. on the Flintstones, and

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I'm sure they're... I gotta look that up. I'm

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sure they're connected. Yeah, yeah. You mentioned

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that the last time. I'm like, yeah, I think you're

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on the stuff. Rob, I'm gonna make new guy do

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that. I'm gonna make him do that. Okay, good.

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Okay, good. But not on this episode. He's already

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giving me a dirty look. He's already gonna have

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an assignment here in a little bit, so... Oh,

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yeah, he's giving me a dirty look. Well, he's

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already put it in my ear. He don't like curtains.

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Oh, okay, okay. Yeah, he's too old. Are you calming

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him down after the other day he stormed out of

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here? I'm trying to. Okay, good. I'm glad because

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he won't talk to me. Yeah, we're actually starting

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to communicate a little better. That's good.

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He keeps throwing his urine at me, which I don't

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like, so I've got to stay away from him. Two

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and a half hour drive would be a pretty good

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throw, so he can't get to me. I just talk to

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him on the phone. Yeah, yeah. Well, he's outside

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right now. He's hitting golf balls in the dark.

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Yeah. Well, I'm trying. I'm trying. Keep trying.

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All right. Okay, did you watch any of the Super

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Bowl at all, Rob? I called Bad Bunny. Okay. That's

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it. Okay. I didn't know about that. That was

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thanks to my cousin because, well, I went to

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this last episode. We went to my cousin's. I

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borrowed my cousin's son that day. Uh -huh. And

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paid him a little money to help get some work

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done around the house. And hide bodies. And we

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had to take him home and drop him off. Mm -hmm.

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Well, it was coming up on halftime, and I literally

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had to beg my cousin. to leave the TV on because

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he was going to shut it off. Oh. Because we were

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going to podcast, but it got run so late, so

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we did it Monday night. Uh -huh. And kind of

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like we're doing this week. Yeah. But, yeah,

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so I did catch the bad bunny. That was it. Okay,

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well, there was a shirtless streaker. He was

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only shirtless, but he was a streaker. I heard

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about him. Okay. I heard about him. What he did,

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though, and I vetted this. I looked it up on

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several sources. Okay. What he did was this right

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here. He bet several people $50 ,000 that he

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was going to go topless streak and across the

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field at Levi's Stadium. And he won, out of all

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his bets, a reported $375 ,000. And he paid a

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$2 ,000 fine. I need this guy doing my taxes.

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And my investments. You know, I need to replace

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T. Rowe Price with this guy, and I also need

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to replace my tax lady with this guy. That guy's

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genius. He knows how to work money, I can tell

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you that right now. Yeah, so, incredible. And

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I'm pretty sure it's true. I'm pretty sure it's

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true. So, okay, how was your Valentine's Day,

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Rob? No, mine wasn't so good. That's why I mentioned

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we're doing it again on Monday night because

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Princess was under the weather on Valentine's

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Day. Yeah. But yesterday she was fine, so we

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canceled last night. We had our Valentine's all

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day yesterday. Oh, cool. Right on. No, actually,

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what we ended up doing, we ended up having a

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bonfire just me and her out back. Oh, so you're

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banging next to the fire. Yeah, and then we put

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the fire out, came in. Did you piss on it? We

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actually danced in the dining room, too. Oh,

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nice. Yeah. Good touch. Good touch. Wow. No,

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that was her. Oh, really? Okay. That's very cool.

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Yeah, now the dozen bacon roses from the butcher

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shop in Campton, that's what did it. Oh. Oh,

00:12:16.500 --> 00:12:21.259
my God. I wish I would have sold those. Uh -huh.

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Uh -huh. They were donating some bacon roses.

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Nice. Well, see, we have six cats. Flowers get

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ate. Plants get ate. Yeah. So I got her bacon

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roses. Beautiful. Beautiful idea, Rob. They were

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only $3 a piece. I paid more for the Dubai chocolates

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I bought. Oh, Dubai chocolates. Those are good,

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though. Pistachio. Well, yeah, well, I bought

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it. Yeah, they're delicious. It's my fault she

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smoked on them. Oh, they are so good, though.

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Well, it's actually Casey's fault because they

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sell them next to the cash register. Oh, I didn't

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know they sold them there. Okay. Yeah, well,

00:13:35.580 --> 00:13:43.529
yeah, $20 a ball. I bought her a whole box, which

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was six of them. Actually, you can get them for

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just a tad bit cheaper online. Honestly, just

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a tad bit. Costco has them a lot cheaper than

00:14:05.460 --> 00:14:07.600
that, too. And they have a bunch of different

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varieties. Yes, they have a bunch of different

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varieties. But, okay, while we're talking about

00:14:12.820 --> 00:14:15.500
this Valentine's Day and treats and stuff like

00:14:15.500 --> 00:14:19.500
that, if you really want to make your love impressed,

00:14:19.980 --> 00:14:26.299
they have a McDonald's McNugget caviar kit. I

00:14:26.299 --> 00:14:31.580
read about it. Yeah. I just did that one. okay

00:14:31.580 --> 00:14:36.580
well it's getting done now so um the burger chain

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is offering a free kit when you sign up online

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which includes chicken nuggets a one ounce tin

00:14:42.460 --> 00:14:47.840
of caviar a 25 mcdonald's gift card cream fraiche

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whatever the hell that is and a mother of pearl

00:14:50.519 --> 00:14:54.740
caviar spoon signups begin on february 10th at

00:14:54.740 --> 00:14:59.240
11 a .m eastern time The combo was inspired by

00:14:59.240 --> 00:15:03.100
a dish served in the U .S. Open in August. The

00:15:03.100 --> 00:15:06.299
kit, however, set diners back $100. You can get

00:15:06.299 --> 00:15:11.600
in on the action at McNuggetCaviar .com. That's

00:15:11.600 --> 00:15:15.740
a solid no from me. I mean, I don't like seafood

00:15:15.740 --> 00:15:21.220
anyhow. What about you, Rob? Yeah, not caviar,

00:15:21.279 --> 00:15:24.000
but can I give you an update on that one? Yes,

00:15:24.000 --> 00:15:29.700
please. They sold out quick. Oh, they did? Okay.

00:15:30.159 --> 00:15:34.419
Yeah, yeah. The story I read was talking about

00:15:34.419 --> 00:15:37.480
how they came out with it, but it was already

00:15:37.480 --> 00:15:41.100
sold out. Okay, I believe it. I mean, it's a

00:15:41.100 --> 00:15:43.259
novelty, and a lot of people do like caviar,

00:15:43.259 --> 00:15:45.799
so I can believe it's sold. Yeah, I think a lot

00:15:45.799 --> 00:15:48.000
of people bought it for that reason, because

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I don't think anybody's going to eat that crap.

00:15:50.960 --> 00:15:54.100
I think you're right. I'm sorry, caviar for Bucket

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McDonald's. Sorry. Yeah, I'm sorry. Yeah, yeah.

00:15:57.620 --> 00:16:00.000
Come on. Nope, I would agree. You'll understand

00:16:00.000 --> 00:16:03.299
here in a little bit. But also... I'm trying

00:16:03.299 --> 00:16:06.720
to rant. Why in the world would you mess up something

00:16:06.720 --> 00:16:10.460
as good as a McNugget anyhow? Oh, shit. It doesn't

00:16:10.460 --> 00:16:12.659
need anything else. I mean, maybe some dipping

00:16:12.659 --> 00:16:18.240
sauce. Yeah, sauce, not caviar. Yeah. Not McDonald's

00:16:18.240 --> 00:16:22.580
caviar. Yeah, oh, yeah. Blasphemy, I swear. Your

00:16:22.580 --> 00:16:26.070
McNuggets ain't that great. Why would your caviar

00:16:26.070 --> 00:16:30.809
be that good? Chewed up chicken asses. Yeah.

00:16:31.210 --> 00:16:35.169
All right. Glued together, chewed up chicken

00:16:35.169 --> 00:16:40.950
asses and beaks. Allegedly. We are. Where did

00:16:40.950 --> 00:16:47.929
it start? So, okay. I may not be a fish egg fan,

00:16:48.149 --> 00:16:52.649
but it might taste better than this next story

00:16:52.649 --> 00:16:56.080
I have for you. At the University of Alaska Fairbanks,

00:16:56.159 --> 00:16:59.299
master student Nick Dwyer submitted 160 images

00:16:59.299 --> 00:17:02.220
made through collaboration with AI in an art

00:17:02.220 --> 00:17:05.579
show. The Sun Star reported on January 14th.

00:17:05.599 --> 00:17:07.339
Okay, I know this is a little old. I don't give

00:17:07.339 --> 00:17:10.819
a shit. Dwyer said his work explores identity

00:17:10.819 --> 00:17:14.279
character narrative creation and crafting false

00:17:14.279 --> 00:17:19.740
memories of relationships. After a new state

00:17:19.740 --> 00:17:24.559
of AI, Psychosis. Fellow student Graham Granger,

00:17:24.599 --> 00:17:28.460
19, however, wasn't a fan. On January 13th, Granger

00:17:28.460 --> 00:17:32.740
is found ripping artwork off the walls and eating

00:17:32.740 --> 00:17:39.359
it in a reported protest. So, he chewed up and

00:17:39.359 --> 00:17:43.779
spit out at least 57 of the 160 images in Dwyer's

00:17:43.779 --> 00:17:47.220
exhibit. Granger said he opposed Dwyer's use

00:17:47.220 --> 00:17:52.430
of chat GPT in the school's AI policy. I'm surprisingly

00:17:52.430 --> 00:17:54.670
fine, Granger said after chewing up the photos.

00:17:54.809 --> 00:17:58.470
I've eaten paper on, like, dares before, so I've

00:17:58.470 --> 00:18:00.950
learned a method like over the course of my life.

00:18:01.049 --> 00:18:03.349
Granger was arraigned on charges of criminal

00:18:03.349 --> 00:18:06.849
mischief and will appear in court, and he still

00:18:06.849 --> 00:18:12.109
is shitting paperclips, allegedly. That sounds

00:18:12.109 --> 00:18:16.150
like people we grew up with. It sure does. We

00:18:16.150 --> 00:18:22.789
called that a Friday. Yeah. Yeah. He does. Spend

00:18:22.789 --> 00:18:26.670
all weekend shipping the paper clubs. Go back

00:18:26.670 --> 00:18:29.789
to school, buddy. God forbid if they get stuck

00:18:29.789 --> 00:18:32.829
in your anal canal. Oh, man, you know those little

00:18:32.829 --> 00:18:37.089
pointy things? I'll get it. Well, then again,

00:18:37.170 --> 00:18:39.029
all you'd have to do is eat some Taco Bell and

00:18:39.029 --> 00:18:44.289
you could blow that out in no time, right? Burrito

00:18:44.289 --> 00:18:53.869
Supreme. That would do more damage because it's

00:18:53.869 --> 00:18:56.069
going to lodge it going in. Oh, it's going to

00:18:56.069 --> 00:18:59.349
tear it out your eye. Yeah, you're going to lodge

00:18:59.349 --> 00:19:01.670
it in a hell of a lot of ways. Well, that's when

00:19:01.670 --> 00:19:03.769
you find your bestest friend and you have them,

00:19:03.769 --> 00:19:06.150
like, reach in your asshole with tweezers and

00:19:06.150 --> 00:19:09.289
take those out, right? Yep. All right, there

00:19:09.289 --> 00:19:11.930
you go. And if you went to their emergency room,

00:19:12.049 --> 00:19:14.250
they'll never believe you. You know, I ate paper

00:19:14.250 --> 00:19:16.769
with paper clips in there and go, okay, sure

00:19:16.769 --> 00:19:24.380
thing, pervert. okay so you know um a good will

00:19:24.380 --> 00:19:32.220
if you're a woman if you are the woman yeah yeah

00:19:32.220 --> 00:19:36.220
yeah yeah i was getting right anyhow okay um

00:19:36.220 --> 00:19:40.660
you notice my hesitation there so anyhow okay

00:19:41.580 --> 00:19:44.539
Skipping on along there. Okay, if you are the

00:19:44.539 --> 00:19:47.119
woman who dropped off a human skull at the Goodwill

00:19:47.119 --> 00:19:50.140
Donation Center in Chelsea, Michigan on January

00:19:50.140 --> 00:19:53.119
26, the Chelsea Police Department would like

00:19:53.119 --> 00:19:57.660
a word. CBS News reported that a woman who was

00:19:57.660 --> 00:20:00.420
caught on the store's surveillance camera brought

00:20:00.420 --> 00:20:03.700
in a skull wrapped in a shirt. The skull appeared

00:20:03.700 --> 00:20:06.480
to be intact and didn't have any visible damage.

00:20:06.940 --> 00:20:09.539
Officers turned it over to the... county medical

00:20:09.539 --> 00:20:12.180
examiner who forwarded it to the anthropology

00:20:12.180 --> 00:20:14.880
department at the university of Michigan for

00:20:14.880 --> 00:20:17.220
further study. And there hasn't been any word

00:20:17.220 --> 00:20:20.339
on whether it's new skull, old skull, caveman

00:20:20.339 --> 00:20:24.299
skull, uh, you know, whatever. So, uh, yeah,

00:20:24.339 --> 00:20:26.380
I've been looking for it. So if I find an answer,

00:20:26.420 --> 00:20:28.680
what this is, I will let everybody know. Yeah.

00:20:28.779 --> 00:20:32.160
I have not ran across that story yet. Yeah. You

00:20:32.160 --> 00:20:36.000
know, I've been all over that one. Yeah. Yep.

00:20:36.119 --> 00:20:38.339
That's yeah. That's where I have my house. Cool.

00:20:38.799 --> 00:20:41.839
Yeah. All right. These guys probably should have

00:20:41.839 --> 00:20:44.079
had some nachos instead of exercise in their

00:20:44.079 --> 00:20:47.299
pie hole. At a high school boys basketball game

00:20:47.299 --> 00:20:51.220
in Frederick, Oklahoma, on January 29th, an official

00:20:51.220 --> 00:20:54.579
made an unusual move of ejecting the home team's

00:20:54.579 --> 00:20:58.759
entire fan section. K4TV. In the fourth quarter,

00:20:58.960 --> 00:21:03.059
they reported this. The game between Frederick

00:21:03.059 --> 00:21:05.160
and Magnum was late in the fourth quarter when

00:21:05.160 --> 00:21:08.119
an official called a foul. One fan stood up to

00:21:08.119 --> 00:21:10.680
yell at the official, then left. The referee

00:21:10.680 --> 00:21:12.920
conferred with the school administrator on hand,

00:21:12.940 --> 00:21:15.160
who announced the officials asked the whole side

00:21:15.160 --> 00:21:18.240
to clear. Play didn't resume until all the fans

00:21:18.240 --> 00:21:20.920
had cleared the gym, but radio announcer Chad

00:21:20.920 --> 00:21:25.559
Fox, oh, what a cool name, right? Chad Fox, said,

00:21:26.950 --> 00:21:29.549
Some were standing outside the doors trying to

00:21:29.549 --> 00:21:33.250
peek inside. The official might have been called

00:21:33.250 --> 00:21:37.430
a few names for a while now, and he was just

00:21:37.430 --> 00:21:39.789
getting fed up, and then that was it. He kicked

00:21:39.789 --> 00:21:44.569
out the whole damn bunch of them. How about the

00:21:44.569 --> 00:21:47.069
guy that did the initial one that set him off

00:21:47.069 --> 00:21:48.869
that made him kick everybody out? You think they

00:21:48.869 --> 00:21:52.569
kicked the shit out of him? Made him miss their

00:21:52.569 --> 00:22:00.059
kid's game? Well, it depends on how the game

00:22:00.059 --> 00:22:04.140
was going. You know what? If they were losing,

00:22:04.240 --> 00:22:05.359
you wouldn't have gave a shit. You'd be like,

00:22:05.420 --> 00:22:11.119
all right, cool. Yeah. They needed this kid.

00:22:11.440 --> 00:22:14.779
Yeah, if it was a nut -tugger that you won, you'd

00:22:14.779 --> 00:22:20.420
be really like, oh, piss. Yeah. All right. They

00:22:20.420 --> 00:22:23.680
found a stray dog. Shit, it doesn't necessarily

00:22:23.680 --> 00:22:29.819
say, oh. Okay, I don't know why it doesn't. Okay.

00:22:30.079 --> 00:22:34.019
In some city, they found a stray dog. WNYT TV

00:22:34.019 --> 00:22:37.220
reported she took the dog to a veterinarian who

00:22:37.220 --> 00:22:39.660
noticed that the GPS monitoring device had been

00:22:39.660 --> 00:22:42.759
attached to the dog's collar. But the dog wasn't

00:22:42.759 --> 00:22:45.400
a criminal. The ankle bracelet was assigned to

00:22:45.400 --> 00:22:48.880
Lamont Alexander Holmes, 47, at Albany, who had

00:22:48.880 --> 00:22:52.519
been charged. Maybe it's from Albany. That would

00:22:52.519 --> 00:22:57.140
be New York. Yes. Just from the call letters,

00:22:57.259 --> 00:23:02.900
it said NYC. Yep, you're right. Because it could

00:23:02.900 --> 00:23:05.380
have been Albany, Georgia, but since it says

00:23:05.380 --> 00:23:09.339
NY... It's Albany, New York. You're right. Okay,

00:23:09.480 --> 00:23:14.599
so this Alexander Holmes of Albany, who had been

00:23:14.599 --> 00:23:16.819
charged with felony possession of a loaded weapon

00:23:16.819 --> 00:23:19.579
and was scheduled to appear in court that morning.

00:23:19.759 --> 00:23:22.640
Holmes is still on the lam. No word on the pup.

00:23:23.099 --> 00:23:27.720
Poor guy. Poor dog. All right. Another robot

00:23:27.720 --> 00:23:30.680
bites the dust, Rob. On January 15th in Miami,

00:23:30.859 --> 00:23:34.420
a food delivery robot met its... Good deal. Oh,

00:23:34.539 --> 00:23:37.819
did I say that? I thought it if you didn't say

00:23:37.819 --> 00:23:43.960
it, that's for sure. I'll say it. So the robot

00:23:43.960 --> 00:23:46.859
met its fate on a bright -line train track after

00:23:46.859 --> 00:23:50.660
becoming stuck, Fox 5 Atlanta reported. Witness

00:23:50.660 --> 00:23:55.079
Guillermo de Palo, Took video of the train struck

00:23:55.079 --> 00:23:59.720
the robot. I was walking my dogs, and that's

00:23:59.720 --> 00:24:02.500
when I saw the food car standing on the train

00:24:02.500 --> 00:24:09.359
tracks. DiPaolo said, RIP to the per robot. And

00:24:09.359 --> 00:24:11.539
I guess this is those robots that they showed

00:24:11.539 --> 00:24:14.079
online. Have you seen them that deliver food

00:24:14.079 --> 00:24:17.880
to people? Yeah. Per little guy. He's probably

00:24:17.880 --> 00:24:20.440
trying to get a sandwich to Miss Jones and got

00:24:20.440 --> 00:24:26.390
stuck. Yep. We salute you, robot, for serving

00:24:26.390 --> 00:24:30.089
man and getting killed in the process. Yeah,

00:24:30.089 --> 00:24:34.650
wait until he runs across a drunk driver. Oh,

00:24:34.650 --> 00:24:36.509
shit, that'd be little pieces of tin everywhere.

00:24:37.269 --> 00:24:42.809
Yeah, yeah. Or some school mom on her phone.

00:24:43.410 --> 00:24:49.529
Oh, shit. Yeah. Robots are screwed. Like I said

00:24:49.529 --> 00:24:52.930
last podcast. And we won't even, we're not even.

00:24:54.630 --> 00:25:02.069
Like I said last podcast, I've been hit three

00:25:02.069 --> 00:25:04.369
times in the last six months. Two times parked,

00:25:04.509 --> 00:25:07.650
and then not too long ago, earlier in February,

00:25:07.890 --> 00:25:10.490
by some dumb bitch that didn't know the turning

00:25:10.490 --> 00:25:13.210
lane ended and swerved into my lane and then

00:25:13.210 --> 00:25:17.250
promptly started blaming me. And I still swear

00:25:17.250 --> 00:25:19.269
I think she worked for a lawyer's office, and

00:25:19.269 --> 00:25:21.029
I'll bet you anything a lawyer says, if you ever

00:25:21.029 --> 00:25:23.190
hit anybody, come out there and make them admit

00:25:23.190 --> 00:25:27.529
the fault. But it didn't work. So, anyhow, she

00:25:27.529 --> 00:25:32.309
ended up fixing her stuff and footing the bill

00:25:32.309 --> 00:25:34.630
on mine, dumb bitch. But the whole point is,

00:25:34.710 --> 00:25:37.289
three times I've been hit in the last six months.

00:25:37.970 --> 00:25:42.509
Everybody's on their fucking phone. All right.

00:25:44.279 --> 00:25:47.900
We're going on. For the low price of $250 ,000,

00:25:47.900 --> 00:25:49.940
you can be one of the first to reserve a room

00:25:49.940 --> 00:25:53.740
at a luxury moon hotel. The Philippine Star reported

00:25:53.740 --> 00:25:57.980
on January 21st, GRU Space, a startup founded

00:25:57.980 --> 00:26:02.019
by Skylar Chan, hopes to deploy the hotel to

00:26:02.019 --> 00:26:05.819
the moon by 2032. It will be built on Earth.

00:26:05.859 --> 00:26:08.319
The hotel offers views of the lunar landscape

00:26:08.319 --> 00:26:11.180
and Earth, along with surface experience, including

00:26:11.180 --> 00:26:14.299
moonwalks, driving golf, and other activities,

00:26:14.519 --> 00:26:17.900
GRU claims. The first inflatable habitat after

00:26:17.900 --> 00:26:21.619
that. More so inflatable habitat. It's not real

00:26:21.619 --> 00:26:23.740
habitat. I guess it's going to be like, I don't

00:26:23.740 --> 00:26:28.140
know, balloon puppies or something like that.

00:26:29.240 --> 00:26:33.630
I guess. I don't know. After that, a more permanent

00:26:33.630 --> 00:26:38.130
and expanded facility will be placed. We live

00:26:38.130 --> 00:26:40.549
during an inflection point where we can actually

00:26:40.549 --> 00:26:43.750
become interplanetary before we die, Chan said.

00:26:44.170 --> 00:26:47.849
GRU believes likely customers will include adventurers,

00:26:48.029 --> 00:26:52.690
couples looking to honeymoon in an exotic locale,

00:26:52.690 --> 00:26:56.289
and recent spaceflight participants. Okay, so

00:26:56.289 --> 00:27:00.569
Rob, personally, I got a question for you. If

00:27:00.569 --> 00:27:04.329
you had the resources and the whatever, you know,

00:27:04.349 --> 00:27:07.190
knowing somebody or just however they pick the

00:27:07.190 --> 00:27:14.710
people, would you do that? No. I don't think

00:27:14.710 --> 00:27:16.549
I would either. I don't have any interest in

00:27:16.549 --> 00:27:23.849
going in space. I don't know why. Well, I just

00:27:23.849 --> 00:27:27.869
feel like I'm nobody else's judge. I should not

00:27:27.869 --> 00:27:30.940
judge somebody else's life. If that's what you

00:27:30.940 --> 00:27:34.180
want to do, do it. I'm going to do it. You do

00:27:34.180 --> 00:27:38.680
you, I'll do me. You know? Okay. I am nobody's

00:27:38.680 --> 00:27:42.259
judge. That's the way I try to live my life.

00:27:42.900 --> 00:27:49.140
You know, so. Okay. If you ask me to judge, you

00:27:49.140 --> 00:27:52.440
know, no. I'm not going to tell somebody you

00:27:52.440 --> 00:27:59.339
have to go in space. Okay. I was asking if you

00:27:59.339 --> 00:28:04.500
would do that. No, I would not. Okay. All right.

00:28:04.940 --> 00:28:08.839
Rob, I'm going to turn it over to you, but really

00:28:08.839 --> 00:28:12.180
quick. All of this is Rob's opinion. This is

00:28:12.180 --> 00:28:15.259
an opinion -based program, okay? Everything we

00:28:15.259 --> 00:28:18.359
say is allegedly, and we know that we're wrong

00:28:18.359 --> 00:28:20.960
a lot, like it says at the very first, but this

00:28:20.960 --> 00:28:24.519
is just an opinion. We're not saying this is

00:28:24.519 --> 00:28:27.730
the way it is. So saying that, Rob, you got some

00:28:27.730 --> 00:28:33.109
stuff you want to talk about. Yes, I do. For

00:28:33.109 --> 00:28:36.890
the first time in a little while, I actually

00:28:36.890 --> 00:28:43.930
have a Rob's rant. I have been going through

00:28:43.930 --> 00:28:51.230
some stuff lately on my phone service. As I've

00:28:51.230 --> 00:28:54.869
talked about, you know, I moved over here. I

00:28:54.869 --> 00:28:57.329
had to switch. And I'm going to go ahead and

00:28:57.329 --> 00:29:11.369
say the name. From AT &T to Verizon. Well, I

00:29:11.369 --> 00:29:14.829
went and got it all done in one day. Got my same

00:29:14.829 --> 00:29:19.049
phone number switched over. Went to both stores.

00:29:19.309 --> 00:29:25.549
Did what I had to do. And I thought I was good.

00:29:26.859 --> 00:29:30.160
And actually, my service improved a little bit.

00:29:30.960 --> 00:29:36.619
So I thought I was on horizon. Well, at the time,

00:29:36.720 --> 00:29:43.140
the lady at AT &T, when we were switching my

00:29:43.140 --> 00:29:45.619
number over, finalizing everything, and this

00:29:45.619 --> 00:29:51.779
was in November, by the way, we thought everything

00:29:51.779 --> 00:29:56.589
was done. And she explained to me, okay, You

00:29:56.589 --> 00:30:01.190
have one more high bill. And I had just threw

00:30:01.190 --> 00:30:06.289
out my plan and brought my bill down because

00:30:06.289 --> 00:30:10.210
I dropped a phone off, paid off two phones, whatever.

00:30:11.630 --> 00:30:18.250
And also I qualified for the senior citizen since

00:30:18.250 --> 00:30:22.410
I'm over 55. That's such a mixed blessing. You

00:30:22.410 --> 00:30:25.130
qualified for a discount. I started to enjoy

00:30:25.130 --> 00:30:47.150
that part of it. was in December. Well, January,

00:30:47.509 --> 00:30:54.509
I get a bill for like $20 more. I'm taking okay.

00:30:55.289 --> 00:30:59.390
Another bill slid by whatever, you know, so I

00:30:59.390 --> 00:31:04.930
passed it off. Well, then last week, I get a

00:31:04.930 --> 00:31:12.410
notification saying that AT &T was going to take

00:31:12.410 --> 00:31:16.799
a another payment out. So I get on the phone

00:31:16.799 --> 00:31:19.640
because I'm like, what the hell? I'm on Verizon.

00:31:20.700 --> 00:31:28.119
Guess what? I was not. AT &T never dropped my

00:31:28.119 --> 00:31:35.680
service. So Verizon could take over. So I've

00:31:35.680 --> 00:31:41.680
been paying double bills this whole time. Well,

00:31:45.000 --> 00:31:53.680
this customer service this gentleman I'm going

00:31:53.680 --> 00:31:57.059
to leave it right there could not help me the

00:31:57.059 --> 00:32:01.259
one I could barely understand could not help

00:32:01.259 --> 00:32:07.799
me he had no authorization to do nothing so I

00:32:07.799 --> 00:32:12.880
get off work I go to the AT &T store in town

00:32:14.440 --> 00:32:18.099
Talk to this guy, Joe. This guy was awesome.

00:32:19.519 --> 00:32:23.000
He told me, no, when you got to call customer

00:32:23.000 --> 00:32:25.980
service to get your service dropped, us stores

00:32:25.980 --> 00:32:31.180
can't do it. I said, well, that'd been nice to

00:32:31.180 --> 00:32:34.099
know four months ago. But no, I was all nice

00:32:34.099 --> 00:32:39.980
with him. He was nice with me. Well, he goes,

00:32:40.509 --> 00:32:43.329
What you have to do is you have to ask for somebody

00:32:43.329 --> 00:32:47.329
with loyalty. And that's the way you put it.

00:32:50.170 --> 00:32:53.089
Well, in the meantime, this whole time I'm talking

00:32:53.089 --> 00:32:55.450
to people at work, I'm talking to people I know,

00:32:55.589 --> 00:33:00.089
and they're telling me, good luck. They already

00:33:00.089 --> 00:33:04.309
knew. AT &T does not like to let go of their

00:33:04.309 --> 00:33:09.039
customers. All this is allegedly, okay? Allegedly.

00:33:09.319 --> 00:33:12.519
I personally believe, Rob, but you can believe

00:33:12.519 --> 00:33:21.819
whatever you want. But... Anyway. So, I ended

00:33:21.819 --> 00:33:25.380
up calling... Well, I had to wait until the next

00:33:25.380 --> 00:33:30.579
day at that point. And at this point, I know

00:33:30.579 --> 00:33:33.440
what's going to happen when I call customer service.

00:33:34.480 --> 00:33:39.000
AT &T is going to be shut off. Because the only

00:33:39.000 --> 00:33:42.980
time I have a call is at lunchtime. And I know

00:33:42.980 --> 00:33:49.640
how cranky I can get. So I knew my service would

00:33:49.640 --> 00:33:53.619
be shut off. I would get my way. I was just hoping

00:33:53.619 --> 00:33:59.359
Verizon would pick up. Well, by the time that

00:33:59.359 --> 00:34:06.900
phone call ended up with that sweet lady, It

00:34:06.900 --> 00:34:11.599
ended up, yeah, there was yelling. Yeah, my service

00:34:11.599 --> 00:34:15.780
got cut off during our conversation. I got my

00:34:15.780 --> 00:34:22.559
way. But now I'm hit with this other bill that

00:34:22.559 --> 00:34:27.699
she told me she would do away with. It was due

00:34:27.699 --> 00:34:32.480
yesterday. That's all right. Let him keep it.

00:34:33.199 --> 00:34:36.139
Because on the way, okay, it was weird how it

00:34:36.139 --> 00:34:38.739
happened. I had no service. Well, that's how

00:34:38.739 --> 00:34:42.780
I listened to my radio at work. So I went like

00:34:42.780 --> 00:34:46.360
an hour. And I went over, for some reason, I

00:34:46.360 --> 00:34:48.699
looked at my phone. For some reason, I kicked

00:34:48.699 --> 00:34:55.900
my music off. My music came on. And then I could

00:34:55.900 --> 00:35:03.400
message Princess on Messenger. And I didn't text

00:35:03.400 --> 00:35:08.460
my son, but it came up my email address. I don't

00:35:08.460 --> 00:35:10.940
know how this happened because I had no service

00:35:10.940 --> 00:35:16.699
at this point. But I let Princess know what was

00:35:16.699 --> 00:35:24.039
going on. She made a call to Verizon. And before

00:35:24.039 --> 00:35:30.110
I got home, my phone is on Verizon. Good. And

00:35:30.110 --> 00:35:34.429
I'll tell you what, you know how I was having

00:35:34.429 --> 00:35:39.170
troubles with the reception, even though I thought

00:35:39.170 --> 00:35:42.630
I was on Verizon? You were cutting out when you

00:35:42.630 --> 00:35:45.150
were on the other service, it seems like, and

00:35:45.150 --> 00:35:49.030
this one is good. Just up to this last week.

00:35:51.630 --> 00:35:55.630
Okay. Well, I can sit in my dining room now.

00:35:56.750 --> 00:36:00.289
And do the podcast. I have full service. And

00:36:00.289 --> 00:36:05.650
a loincloth. 5G. Yeah, but see, here's the problem.

00:36:05.789 --> 00:36:10.550
We have five dogs. Oh, okay, okay. Yeah, yeah.

00:36:11.750 --> 00:36:14.949
You think when your animals come through the

00:36:14.949 --> 00:36:20.789
door, it's bad? No. But anyway, that is Rob's

00:36:20.789 --> 00:36:25.239
rant for tonight. Okay, thank you, Rob. Yeah,

00:36:25.360 --> 00:36:29.699
like I said, I was forewarned about this. And

00:36:29.699 --> 00:36:35.199
that was my experience. You guys take it for

00:36:35.199 --> 00:36:39.039
what it's worth. Just keep in mind that you want

00:36:39.039 --> 00:36:42.219
to get away from them. Yeah, and that's good

00:36:42.219 --> 00:36:46.800
information. They do not like letting go of customers,

00:36:46.980 --> 00:36:51.889
I found out. Okay, and I, like I said, I believe

00:36:51.889 --> 00:36:53.989
Rob, but you can believe it or not, whatever

00:36:53.989 --> 00:36:57.469
all this is. Yeah, whatever you want. Yep. This

00:36:57.469 --> 00:37:01.010
is my opinion. Yep. This is my experience. All

00:37:01.010 --> 00:37:03.130
right, Rob, let's, you want to come back with

00:37:03.130 --> 00:37:07.769
some emails? Sounds awesome. You know, for wintertime,

00:37:07.889 --> 00:37:10.969
I got a shit ton of them. And there's some really

00:37:10.969 --> 00:37:13.989
good ones here, too. So, it's going to be interesting.

00:37:14.369 --> 00:37:19.679
So, all right. We will be right back. Two douchebags,

00:37:19.739 --> 00:37:21.739
a microphone, and an effort to keep everything

00:37:21.739 --> 00:37:28.559
fresh. We offer you first world problems. The

00:37:28.559 --> 00:37:32.059
ATM wants me to make a new PIN number for security

00:37:32.059 --> 00:37:34.960
purposes. I don't have an extra two minutes.

00:37:35.039 --> 00:37:38.579
I need my Starbucks. I'm having the worst day

00:37:38.579 --> 00:37:43.179
ever. Oh, shit. What's that over there? Oh, no.

00:37:43.539 --> 00:37:52.280
It's the island of horrible jokes. Headache -stricken

00:37:52.280 --> 00:37:55.000
man explained to his doctor, you have to help

00:37:55.000 --> 00:37:58.679
me, I'm shrinking. The doctor said I will. You

00:37:58.679 --> 00:38:15.679
have to be a little patient. Oh lord, that man

00:38:15.679 --> 00:38:19.139
just sawed a puppy in half. Hey there, don't

00:38:19.139 --> 00:38:29.050
worry, I have a clown nose. guy just hit my child

00:38:29.050 --> 00:38:35.449
it is okay i have a clown nose clown nose just

00:38:35.449 --> 00:38:38.349
put one on and you can do anything want to run

00:38:38.349 --> 00:38:41.590
for office murder people in public just grab

00:38:41.590 --> 00:38:45.750
a clown nose and bam everyone laughs clown noses

00:38:45.750 --> 00:38:47.590
are sold at keg stores online and pedophile conventions

00:38:47.590 --> 00:38:50.670
grab one today and make magic happen hey good

00:38:50.670 --> 00:38:52.989
kid no one gives an ounce of shit what you had

00:38:52.989 --> 00:38:55.349
for breakfast not even the person on the other

00:38:55.349 --> 00:38:58.110
end You look like a mentally slow driv yelling

00:38:58.110 --> 00:39:00.730
into thin air all through the store. I pray that

00:39:00.730 --> 00:39:03.309
Bluetooth shorts you out and blows up your eardrums.

00:39:03.449 --> 00:39:06.690
One may consider self -centered dunce. Monty

00:39:06.690 --> 00:39:08.510
constantly coddled this dummy and it fucking

00:39:08.510 --> 00:39:11.489
shows. Go look back home and bore your dog. Wait,

00:39:11.570 --> 00:39:13.369
you probably forgot the theming because you're

00:39:13.369 --> 00:39:16.090
too busy looking in the mirror all day. Fuck

00:39:16.090 --> 00:39:19.389
off. As much fun as an electric can opener to

00:39:19.389 --> 00:39:21.809
the scrotum, two douchebags and a microphone.

00:39:25.360 --> 00:39:29.139
Hey there. We all have those annoying co -workers

00:39:29.139 --> 00:39:32.659
that do nothing. There's nothing we can do about

00:39:32.659 --> 00:39:35.019
it because HR departments are running scared

00:39:35.019 --> 00:39:38.019
of lawyers. So we have to work with these worthless

00:39:38.019 --> 00:39:41.219
pieces of garbage. But we have to communicate

00:39:41.219 --> 00:39:44.340
about them without them knowing about it. Here

00:39:44.340 --> 00:39:46.440
at Two Douchebags Microphone, we developed a

00:39:46.440 --> 00:39:48.320
way that you can speak about them right in front

00:39:48.320 --> 00:39:51.219
of them without them knowing about it. Stay tuned.

00:39:52.219 --> 00:39:56.110
Cordless only works 40 minutes. E .T. always

00:39:56.110 --> 00:40:00.329
wants to go home. Kit Kat always taking a break.

00:40:01.849 --> 00:40:04.710
Muffler always exhausted. Seaweed floats around

00:40:04.710 --> 00:40:09.789
all day. Sensor light only works when someone

00:40:09.789 --> 00:40:15.090
walks by. Wheelbarrow only works when pushed.

00:40:20.610 --> 00:40:25.300
Excuse me, my dear sir. Could you please direct

00:40:25.300 --> 00:40:27.980
me to the nearest self -employed person in a

00:40:27.980 --> 00:40:30.340
motorized vehicle? Could you please direct me

00:40:30.340 --> 00:40:33.139
to the nearest self -employed person in a motorized

00:40:33.139 --> 00:40:37.199
vehicle? Do you mean an Uber ride? Yes, I do

00:40:37.199 --> 00:40:39.860
mean an Uber ride. Do you mean an Uber ride?

00:40:39.920 --> 00:40:41.500
You just say an Uber ride, you dumb motherfucker.

00:40:41.500 --> 00:40:42.780
Yes, I do mean an Uber ride. Why are you constantly

00:40:42.780 --> 00:40:44.159
following me around asking stupid questions?

00:40:44.159 --> 00:40:46.420
You just say an Uber ride, you dumb motherfucker.

00:40:46.639 --> 00:40:48.860
Why are you constantly following me around asking

00:40:48.860 --> 00:41:03.980
stupid questions? And I am Rob in Wheatland,

00:41:04.099 --> 00:41:08.539
Missouri, home of the magnificent Lucas Oil Speedway

00:41:08.539 --> 00:41:11.800
and Water Track, and also home of Hickamole Country

00:41:11.800 --> 00:41:15.940
Store, where you can find all your needs, including

00:41:15.940 --> 00:41:26.170
a selfie with the Sinclair dinosaur. And rumor

00:41:26.170 --> 00:41:29.690
has it the Sinclair dinosaur has a huge penis.

00:41:29.710 --> 00:41:31.710
Yeah, he's hung, dude. Yeah, he's hung, yep.

00:41:32.349 --> 00:41:35.969
Yeah, there was extra concrete. I tripped over

00:41:35.969 --> 00:41:39.010
his penis one time I went to Sinclair. Yeah,

00:41:39.110 --> 00:41:41.690
there was a lot of extra concrete down there.

00:41:41.889 --> 00:41:45.829
Yeah, yes, there is. He's kind of like Jeffy

00:41:45.829 --> 00:41:51.190
X. Yeah, yes, yeah, Jeffy X. Yep. I think he's

00:41:51.190 --> 00:41:53.550
going to have a list on the next podcast. I'm

00:41:53.550 --> 00:41:56.880
pretty sure he is. I seen him running really

00:41:56.880 --> 00:41:59.659
fast one day, and I said, what are you on to?

00:41:59.719 --> 00:42:01.860
He said, I'll give you a list later, and he's

00:42:01.860 --> 00:42:05.860
gone. All right, well, I got a ton of emails

00:42:05.860 --> 00:42:07.980
for the weather being so nice is what I meant.

00:42:08.059 --> 00:42:10.159
We usually get more emails during the winter

00:42:10.159 --> 00:42:12.460
because you're indoors and got nothing else to

00:42:12.460 --> 00:42:17.500
do except email a stupid podcast. So, all right.

00:42:18.579 --> 00:42:49.360
Only we're not stupid. Right, Rob? Oh, no wonder.

00:42:55.630 --> 00:42:57.630
I told him to eat a bowl of shit flakes without

00:42:57.630 --> 00:43:04.849
milk and, well, go downhill. I know, I know.

00:43:05.030 --> 00:43:11.550
Okay. Alrighty, next one. Okay, no, no, no, not

00:43:11.550 --> 00:43:14.349
next one. Shoot, what am I saying? Okay. I'm

00:43:14.349 --> 00:43:21.489
giving him another bonus. Okay, I had Jeffy X

00:43:21.489 --> 00:43:24.809
look this up, and yes. The Seattle Seahawks quarterback,

00:43:25.050 --> 00:43:28.090
Sam Darnold, likely paid more in California state

00:43:28.090 --> 00:43:32.650
taxes than he earned from his 2026 Super Bowl

00:43:32.650 --> 00:43:37.170
win. Due to California's jock tax, that like

00:43:37.170 --> 00:43:41.090
jock strap or like a jock and athlete, jock tax,

00:43:41.409 --> 00:43:45.670
which applies. What, Rob, were you going to say

00:43:45.670 --> 00:43:48.150
something? I was going to say it's more or less

00:43:48.150 --> 00:43:53.400
an athlete tax. Yes. Yep. Which applies to the

00:43:53.400 --> 00:43:58.239
duty days spent in the state. Darnold was estimated

00:43:58.239 --> 00:44:02.159
to owe roughly in taxes while receiving a winner's

00:44:02.159 --> 00:44:06.360
bonus resulting in a net loss of... The winner's

00:44:06.360 --> 00:44:15.679
bonus was $178 and the net loss was $274. Isn't

00:44:15.679 --> 00:44:21.070
that something? The jock tax... California taxes

00:44:21.070 --> 00:44:26.050
non -resident athletes on a prorated share of

00:44:26.050 --> 00:44:28.510
their annual contract salary based on the number

00:44:28.510 --> 00:44:31.530
of days they work in the state, including the

00:44:31.530 --> 00:44:34.829
week of preparation for the Super Bowl. Because

00:44:34.829 --> 00:44:39.570
Darnold's high annual salary, part of a million

00:44:39.570 --> 00:44:43.110
-dollar contract, quite a few million actually,

00:44:43.349 --> 00:44:48.389
he was taxed by California. And because it's

00:44:48.389 --> 00:44:53.469
a jock tax, he was taxed that much more. So he

00:44:53.469 --> 00:44:55.789
actually owed a substantial amount of money.

00:44:56.550 --> 00:45:00.849
All right, next. Mark, keep the I call bullshits

00:45:00.849 --> 00:45:04.409
coming. Love them. Jen in Missouri. Yep, working

00:45:04.409 --> 00:45:06.489
on another one, but this one I'm not giving away

00:45:06.489 --> 00:45:12.889
yet. It's everything you heard for a long time

00:45:12.889 --> 00:45:21.429
now confirmed. Why, are you thinking of somebody?

00:45:21.510 --> 00:45:24.929
Could this be someone you know? I work with it,

00:45:24.949 --> 00:45:34.030
Jim. Okay, ask her. Well, it's our lead welder's

00:45:34.030 --> 00:45:40.090
wife. Our lead parts welder. Oh. Yeah, we'll

00:45:40.090 --> 00:45:43.789
see. Oh, okay. Well, if it is, hell yeah. Thank

00:45:43.789 --> 00:45:47.019
you. Head us back up, Jim. Let us know if you're

00:45:47.019 --> 00:45:49.559
the one I work with or not. Yeah, please, Jen.

00:45:49.739 --> 00:45:52.800
And thank you for the email. If you are, let

00:45:52.800 --> 00:45:57.480
me know at work. How's that? There we go. And

00:45:57.480 --> 00:46:00.940
also, thank you for appreciating the I Call Bullshits.

00:46:01.579 --> 00:46:03.840
It's a labor of love, I can tell you that right

00:46:03.840 --> 00:46:10.900
now. Hey guys, you mentioned you do use some

00:46:10.900 --> 00:46:14.039
AI for the show. Could you explain how it's being

00:46:14.039 --> 00:46:17.300
used? Tone in London. I don't know if that's

00:46:17.300 --> 00:46:24.760
Ontario or UK or whatever. Okay, a lot of the

00:46:24.760 --> 00:46:28.039
voices you hear on here originates as my voice

00:46:28.039 --> 00:46:31.780
and is turned over with AI to sound like another

00:46:31.780 --> 00:46:38.559
voice. That's how AI is used around here. That's

00:46:38.559 --> 00:46:41.019
all we need it for is different voices. It would

00:46:41.019 --> 00:46:43.659
be really fucking boring if all we had was one

00:46:43.659 --> 00:46:46.400
voice, wouldn't it? You see, whenever I'm doing

00:46:46.400 --> 00:46:49.559
the production on this and putting in everything

00:46:49.559 --> 00:46:54.480
else, you know, it's it's the voices are just

00:46:54.480 --> 00:47:01.219
me. So. All right. All time greatest TV series.

00:47:02.719 --> 00:47:06.619
Can you pick three? And this is from Mitchell

00:47:06.619 --> 00:47:11.320
at Lake Freeman Trout Hatchery. So, yeah, Mitch.

00:47:19.350 --> 00:47:32.429
Gunsmoke. Six Million Dollar Man. And... Johnny

00:47:32.429 --> 00:47:36.070
Sacco. Just because it kicks ass. It's not the

00:47:36.070 --> 00:47:42.510
greatest series, but... Rob? Of course, I have

00:47:42.510 --> 00:47:45.710
to start with Dukes of Hazzard. Star Trek. I'm

00:47:45.710 --> 00:47:47.610
sorry. That's my third one. Go ahead. I'm sorry.

00:47:47.690 --> 00:47:55.769
Dukes of Hazzard? Then I think I have to go with

00:47:55.769 --> 00:47:59.710
Gilligan's Island. I almost picked them. Very

00:47:59.710 --> 00:48:08.369
cool. And then for my third one, you went with

00:48:08.369 --> 00:48:15.039
Cartoon. Johnny Santo. I'm going to have to go

00:48:15.039 --> 00:48:20.960
underdog. Oh, underdog's awesome. Simon Bar Sinister.

00:48:21.199 --> 00:48:25.380
Remember him? Yeah. Or how about Pauly Purebred?

00:48:25.440 --> 00:48:27.800
She was one hot little bitch, wasn't she? Oh,

00:48:27.940 --> 00:48:32.179
yeah. Yeah, she was a hot, yeah, hot little bitch.

00:48:32.300 --> 00:48:36.800
Yeah. She used to like to shake her tail. Yeah,

00:48:36.800 --> 00:48:42.519
it got underdog on. Oh, is she? Yes. I don't

00:48:42.519 --> 00:48:45.179
know. Yeah, well, see, I got two eagles, so.

00:48:45.400 --> 00:48:52.179
Well, there you go. Both mine are male. Okay,

00:48:52.219 --> 00:48:54.739
well, you know it eats their own. I'm not here

00:48:54.739 --> 00:49:00.280
to judge. Right. Where was I? Oh, Mitch, thank

00:49:00.280 --> 00:49:03.380
you. That was a pretty. See, Mitch is growing

00:49:03.380 --> 00:49:10.760
up. Our little Mitchell is growing up, Rob. I'm

00:49:10.760 --> 00:49:14.500
about ready to cry. No, not really. Hey, douches.

00:49:14.619 --> 00:49:17.519
Who would be the biggest influences for your

00:49:17.519 --> 00:49:25.119
podcast? Terry in New York. Rob, you? I know

00:49:25.119 --> 00:49:34.440
a few I'm going to mention. Okay. I don't run

00:49:34.440 --> 00:49:41.500
off influences, but for like... Base -wise, I

00:49:41.500 --> 00:49:44.820
don't know. Like it says in the motto, pretty

00:49:44.820 --> 00:49:50.599
much any morning radio show has the news stories.

00:49:51.039 --> 00:49:54.739
You know, I don't know. I don't base myself off

00:49:54.739 --> 00:50:00.239
anybody. I base myself off myself. You know,

00:50:00.300 --> 00:50:05.300
so, yeah, I can't base it off anything other

00:50:05.300 --> 00:50:11.000
than we try to be it. Like the top portion of

00:50:11.000 --> 00:50:15.500
a morning radio show. That's all I can say about

00:50:15.500 --> 00:50:21.300
it. It's on me. I would say I'm starting off

00:50:21.300 --> 00:50:26.320
with probably Dr. Demento when I was young. I

00:50:26.320 --> 00:50:28.900
mean, he was my best friend Sunday nights. I

00:50:28.900 --> 00:50:31.800
used to listen to him and all the new funny stuff.

00:50:32.320 --> 00:50:35.739
So I would have to say, number one, Dr. Demento.

00:50:35.880 --> 00:50:38.219
Then after that, it would just be morning shows.

00:50:38.239 --> 00:50:41.440
It started off with Dick and Jay when I started

00:50:41.440 --> 00:50:44.039
sneaking on the FM dial and listening when my

00:50:44.039 --> 00:50:47.489
parents weren't around. They didn't want me listening.

00:50:47.789 --> 00:50:52.150
AY -102. Yes. AY -102 is one of our major influences.

00:50:52.289 --> 00:50:54.070
Yeah, and one of the things that got me about

00:50:54.070 --> 00:50:56.230
Dick and Jay was this right here. They used to

00:50:56.230 --> 00:50:58.190
act like they were driving in a van and doing

00:50:58.190 --> 00:51:01.309
a remote, and they're making it up in the studio.

00:51:01.670 --> 00:51:03.769
And that's the true theater of the mind, and

00:51:03.769 --> 00:51:05.869
that's what always got me. I'm like, when I found

00:51:05.869 --> 00:51:08.869
out about the, that's brilliant. You can do whatever

00:51:08.869 --> 00:51:11.690
you want on the radio. You just make sounds.

00:51:11.730 --> 00:51:15.530
We're on a podcast, too. So Dick and Jay, and

00:51:15.530 --> 00:51:19.510
then I would say after that, Randy Miller, when

00:51:19.510 --> 00:51:24.389
he was at 106 .5 KCI. After that, to me, I don't

00:51:24.389 --> 00:51:26.570
know. I didn't like the brand of humor. I mean,

00:51:26.590 --> 00:51:28.349
he was still funny, but he just wasn't one of

00:51:28.349 --> 00:51:32.730
my favorites. So Randy Miller at 106 .5 KCI,

00:51:32.849 --> 00:51:35.010
because that's when he was doing all the little

00:51:35.010 --> 00:51:37.670
skits, Mission Hillbillies, Plaza Patrol, all

00:51:37.670 --> 00:51:41.360
that stuff. Yeah, then after that, I'd say it's,

00:51:41.360 --> 00:51:43.679
you know, the ones that we knew of growing up,

00:51:43.699 --> 00:51:46.699
the Shock Rock stuff, you know, like Bubba Love

00:51:46.699 --> 00:51:53.019
Sponge, Man Cow, Johnny Dare, Max Cannon, Max

00:51:53.019 --> 00:51:56.300
Cannon, Moffat. I would have to say my number

00:51:56.300 --> 00:52:00.039
one would be Max Cannon, Moffat. That's a good

00:52:00.039 --> 00:52:04.000
one. I mean, if you're going like that, yeah.

00:52:04.480 --> 00:52:11.010
Yeah. I would say I was talking more. in general

00:52:11.010 --> 00:52:16.929
yeah i mean i try to be more of myself okay uh

00:52:16.929 --> 00:52:19.309
terry in new york thank you that was a really

00:52:19.309 --> 00:52:23.110
good question um yeah i hope we answered it for

00:52:23.110 --> 00:52:28.230
you so all right uh next one why don't you guys

00:52:28.230 --> 00:52:30.889
get on youtube it's a more popular way to get

00:52:30.889 --> 00:52:34.550
viewership ross in dallas ross thank you not

00:52:34.550 --> 00:52:37.030
quite yet Is that what we're saying, Rob? Not

00:52:37.030 --> 00:52:40.050
quite yet? We plan on doing it? Yeah, I mean,

00:52:40.150 --> 00:52:45.570
yeah. I don't have my equipment yet. Yeah, we're

00:52:45.570 --> 00:52:48.250
getting caught up with the times. Give us time.

00:52:48.349 --> 00:52:51.730
We'll do it. You know, until then... Oh, go ahead.

00:52:51.769 --> 00:52:56.090
I'm sorry. Actually, since we've been doing this,

00:52:56.150 --> 00:52:58.789
me and Mark have not seen each other face -to

00:52:58.789 --> 00:53:02.769
-face. I know. It's weird, isn't it? But we're

00:53:02.769 --> 00:53:08.170
going to this concert. Yep. Oh, the concert tickets

00:53:08.170 --> 00:53:10.769
really are that high, but higher now. I know.

00:53:11.190 --> 00:53:13.690
Yeah. We'll talk about it later. It don't matter.

00:53:14.329 --> 00:53:16.889
Yeah, it don't matter. We're going. I'll buy

00:53:16.889 --> 00:53:19.530
it. Okay. All right. We'll talk about it a little

00:53:19.530 --> 00:53:24.670
bit later. All right. When is... Ross, thank

00:53:24.670 --> 00:53:27.530
you, by the way. All right. Yes, thank you, Ross.

00:53:28.630 --> 00:53:31.869
When is National Crappy Podcast Day? Otto in

00:53:31.869 --> 00:53:35.460
Batesville, October 25th. That's why I made it

00:53:35.460 --> 00:53:39.739
my birthday when I sent it in to the agency that

00:53:39.739 --> 00:53:45.719
does this. So October 25th is National Crappy

00:53:45.719 --> 00:53:49.219
Podcast Day. Oh, which is funny because you shared

00:53:49.219 --> 00:53:52.280
your birthday with my cousin. Oh, yeah, yeah,

00:53:52.280 --> 00:53:55.380
yeah, that's right. Yeah, the one in New Mexico.

00:53:55.780 --> 00:54:01.599
Yes, Albuquerque, right? Yep. So, there you go.

00:54:01.699 --> 00:54:09.139
All right. Thank you, Otto. Okay. The next one.

00:54:09.199 --> 00:54:13.639
Always cross a black cat's path. All you have

00:54:13.639 --> 00:54:18.179
to do is give it a maloik. Or maloik. I'm not

00:54:18.179 --> 00:54:20.460
sure how. I think it's a maloik. To ward off

00:54:20.460 --> 00:54:27.130
evil. Wayne in Iowa. Okay. a maloik or a maloak

00:54:27.130 --> 00:54:29.989
or whatever is the devil horns people know them

00:54:29.989 --> 00:54:33.610
you know you got your middle finger and the ring

00:54:33.610 --> 00:54:36.349
finger down and then the other fingers up or

00:54:36.349 --> 00:54:39.409
you know kind of like that they call it the devil

00:54:39.409 --> 00:54:46.409
yeah yeah he was most famous for it um okay um

00:54:49.300 --> 00:54:51.940
Remember when we did that question a few podcasts

00:54:51.940 --> 00:54:54.860
ago, I was afraid of this, that we're going to

00:54:54.860 --> 00:54:58.840
get answers slowly trickling in. So I quit doing

00:54:58.840 --> 00:55:00.539
the question of the week for a little while so

00:55:00.539 --> 00:55:02.159
we can get everybody to send theirs in and then

00:55:02.159 --> 00:55:04.860
we'll do another one. So there's more coming.

00:55:05.679 --> 00:55:10.719
So the Maloik is that. And whenever a black cat

00:55:10.719 --> 00:55:15.000
crosses your path, this is, I believe that's

00:55:15.000 --> 00:55:20.409
like really big in Italy. Greece has a lot of

00:55:20.409 --> 00:55:23.050
superstitions like that, too. They're only slightly

00:55:23.050 --> 00:55:28.230
varied. Anyhow, it just depends on, I mean, really,

00:55:28.289 --> 00:55:30.750
you grew up in the Mediterranean, or you're from

00:55:30.750 --> 00:55:34.329
that descent, you know that that's how they believe,

00:55:34.409 --> 00:55:36.849
but other people are really scared to death of

00:55:36.849 --> 00:55:39.590
the black cat when it crosses your path. So,

00:55:39.590 --> 00:55:42.369
thank you, and you know what? I just pitched

00:55:42.369 --> 00:55:44.849
the damn thing, so I forgot who you were. Sorry,

00:55:44.969 --> 00:55:49.179
thank you. Wayne, Wayne. Yeah, it was Wayne.

00:55:49.340 --> 00:55:52.179
Yeah, you're right. And I think it was Nebraska.

00:55:53.039 --> 00:55:56.980
Okay, Wayne and Nebraska. We have four kittens,

00:55:57.320 --> 00:56:02.159
two of which are all black. They're not bad luck.

00:56:02.840 --> 00:56:05.960
And now, like I said, we had a shit ton of emails.

00:56:06.199 --> 00:56:12.570
Fun to watch. Okay, this is a great email. OK,

00:56:12.769 --> 00:56:16.730
this is a featured email. And Rob, I'll let you

00:56:16.730 --> 00:56:19.590
say some stuff, too. Let me go through this first

00:56:19.590 --> 00:56:23.610
and then I'll give you. OK, Mark, you say that

00:56:23.610 --> 00:56:25.929
the elite have an agreement about no one gets

00:56:25.929 --> 00:56:29.010
prosecuted. How do you explain the charges against

00:56:29.010 --> 00:56:32.170
Trump? Sure seem like they're trying to get their

00:56:32.170 --> 00:56:35.489
best to get him in jail. How about Biden and

00:56:35.489 --> 00:56:38.369
his son's laptop? I'm certain opposition was

00:56:38.369 --> 00:56:41.820
trying to get him impeached as well. I'm not

00:56:41.820 --> 00:56:44.679
saying you're wrong. Just clue me in if I'm missing

00:56:44.679 --> 00:56:50.840
something, please. Paul Devon in Michigan. Okay.

00:56:54.599 --> 00:56:57.659
Yeah, they're trying to get him in jail. Because

00:56:57.659 --> 00:57:00.760
then their chances of getting re -elected are

00:57:00.760 --> 00:57:04.420
much lower. But it's not going to be a real jail.

00:57:04.800 --> 00:57:07.900
It's going to be smear in their face. And impeachment

00:57:07.900 --> 00:57:12.949
doesn't mean... that they're actually in jail.

00:57:13.369 --> 00:57:16.730
It affects how they serve, or they can't, or

00:57:16.730 --> 00:57:19.510
whatever. There's all different variations in

00:57:19.510 --> 00:57:22.349
that, and they do it to smear. But you're talking

00:57:22.349 --> 00:57:24.889
about any one of these elites going to prison?

00:57:25.230 --> 00:57:27.969
It's not going to happen. I don't believe so.

00:57:28.210 --> 00:57:30.869
It's my opinion. But I think they all have an

00:57:30.869 --> 00:57:34.530
agreement. Power protects power. The way it is.

00:57:35.489 --> 00:57:43.720
So, us and them, if you will? Probably. That's

00:57:43.720 --> 00:57:48.039
pretty much it. Rob, please tell yours. Okay.

00:57:48.219 --> 00:57:54.039
The way I look at it is it doesn't matter who's

00:57:54.039 --> 00:57:57.059
in office. They're trying to impeach him. And

00:57:57.059 --> 00:58:01.880
that's true. You know, each side is going after

00:58:01.880 --> 00:58:05.099
each other. And that's the way it's been for

00:58:05.099 --> 00:58:13.179
years. And as far as going to prison over some

00:58:13.179 --> 00:58:19.400
of this stuff, I have two words for you. And

00:58:19.400 --> 00:58:23.280
that's all I have to say is, Epstein Files. And

00:58:23.280 --> 00:58:29.400
I'm done. Drop the mic. Drop the mic. Because

00:58:29.400 --> 00:58:33.340
I've heard more, I've read more shit lately.

00:58:36.970 --> 00:58:43.150
Yep. I'll let you know some of it up there. Actually,

00:58:43.170 --> 00:58:49.889
I know what you're going to say, but we'll talk

00:58:49.889 --> 00:58:53.210
about it afterwards. Yeah, afterwards. You got

00:58:53.210 --> 00:59:04.650
a bag of garbage? Ah, yeah. Yes, I do. Yeah,

00:59:04.829 --> 00:59:10.440
I had to. I had to start a new bag. That old

00:59:10.440 --> 00:59:21.460
one was nasty. Yeah. Okay. In a remarkable incident

00:59:21.460 --> 00:59:26.260
in Georgia, six inmates assigned to a supervised

00:59:26.260 --> 00:59:32.739
roadside work detail became unexpected first

00:59:32.739 --> 00:59:36.670
responders. when a deputy sheriff suddenly collapsed

00:59:36.670 --> 00:59:43.010
on the job. The men dressed in their striped

00:59:43.010 --> 00:59:46.110
prison uniforms and working under the watch of

00:59:46.110 --> 00:59:51.010
local law enforcement had a fleeing opportunity

00:59:51.010 --> 01:00:00.550
that could have led to escape or chaos. Instead,

01:00:01.230 --> 01:00:03.730
They immediately rushed to the deputy's aid,

01:00:03.929 --> 01:00:08.150
assessed the situation, and used his phone to

01:00:08.150 --> 01:00:11.929
call 911, remaining with him until emergency

01:00:11.929 --> 01:00:17.429
services arrived. Their swift decision to help

01:00:17.429 --> 01:00:21.389
rather than flee underscored the human element

01:00:21.389 --> 01:00:28.090
often overlooked in decisions about incarceration

01:00:28.090 --> 01:00:33.550
and rehabilitation. The sheriff's officer later

01:00:33.550 --> 01:00:38.449
commended the inmates for their composure and

01:00:38.449 --> 01:00:43.110
integrity, noting that such work crews are typically

01:00:43.110 --> 01:00:47.630
composed of low -risk offenders participating

01:00:47.630 --> 01:00:52.929
in trust -based labor programs coordinated by

01:00:52.929 --> 01:00:56.670
the Georgia Department of Corrections, which

01:00:56.670 --> 01:01:00.050
is actually anywhere just how many of the road

01:01:00.050 --> 01:01:04.469
crews are. But anyway, as a gesture of appreciation,

01:01:05.070 --> 01:01:09.329
officials organized a small pizza celebration

01:01:09.329 --> 01:01:14.670
and recommended consideration for reduced sentences,

01:01:15.110 --> 01:01:19.570
citing their actions as a demonstration of responsibility

01:01:19.570 --> 01:01:26.710
and reform. The episode quickly drew public attention,

01:01:26.949 --> 01:01:31.219
sparking conversations about redemption, The

01:01:31.219 --> 01:01:34.679
purpose of inmate work programs and the idea

01:01:34.679 --> 01:01:38.579
of moments of crisis can reveal character in

01:01:38.579 --> 01:01:48.699
the most unexpected places. Okay. I like that.

01:01:48.920 --> 01:01:52.559
I did too. Okay. I'm sorry. I thought you said

01:01:52.559 --> 01:01:58.599
ant. Okay. This prison crew. save this guard's

01:01:58.599 --> 01:02:00.940
life. That's pretty fucking cool. You know, when

01:02:00.940 --> 01:02:06.199
they could have ran. Very good. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:02:06.519 --> 01:02:10.579
Um, yeah, and the, I mean, they got rewarded

01:02:10.579 --> 01:02:13.159
too. I mean, you know, the pizza party. Well,

01:02:13.159 --> 01:02:17.579
I, I don't, well, he put them in to reduce sickness.

01:02:18.119 --> 01:02:20.840
Yeah, yeah. I don't know if they got them. But

01:02:20.840 --> 01:02:23.920
they did get a pizza party, right? Yeah, they

01:02:23.920 --> 01:02:26.759
got pizza. Hell yeah. Little pizza. Everybody

01:02:26.759 --> 01:02:32.940
wins. Yeah. Well, I hope they give them reduced

01:02:32.940 --> 01:02:35.059
sentences. I mean, that would be good. I mean,

01:02:35.059 --> 01:02:36.960
they did the right thing and that proves character.

01:02:37.119 --> 01:02:40.239
So, you know, they're probably reformed. So,

01:02:40.260 --> 01:02:42.199
all right, we got to take our second break. And

01:02:42.199 --> 01:02:45.539
guess what? We are really, really late. Yeah.

01:02:47.079 --> 01:02:50.139
Oh, you got another bag of garbage. I'm sorry.

01:02:50.179 --> 01:02:59.269
It's running so late. Go ahead. I'm sorry. to

01:02:59.269 --> 01:03:01.550
make this one a little quicker. Oh, no, no, no.

01:03:01.570 --> 01:03:04.429
Take your time. Take your time. I was just mistaken.

01:03:06.110 --> 01:03:10.469
By the late 1800s, James Lick had become the

01:03:10.469 --> 01:03:14.070
wealthiest man in California thanks to real estate

01:03:14.070 --> 01:03:16.929
and business ventures that grew alongside the

01:03:16.929 --> 01:03:22.289
gold rush economy. With no heirs and a vast fortune

01:03:22.289 --> 01:03:29.659
at his disposal, he began planning how this how

01:03:29.659 --> 01:03:35.260
his money would be remembered. Instead of monuments

01:03:35.260 --> 01:03:40.300
to his name alone, he chose to fund projects

01:03:40.300 --> 01:03:43.619
he believed would benefit the public for generations.

01:03:44.360 --> 01:03:48.940
One of his most ambitious ideas was to build

01:03:48.940 --> 01:03:54.639
a great observatory on a mountaintop far from

01:03:54.639 --> 01:04:02.110
city lights and dust. The result was Lick Observatory

01:04:02.110 --> 01:04:14.409
on Mount Hamilton, completed in 1888. It housed

01:04:14.409 --> 01:04:18.469
what was then the world's largest refracting

01:04:18.469 --> 01:04:23.130
telescope and became the first permanently stacked

01:04:23.130 --> 01:04:27.059
mountaintop observatory. That's how you say it,

01:04:27.099 --> 01:04:32.380
observatory. Scientists there would go on to

01:04:32.380 --> 01:04:36.699
make major discoveries, from new moons to Jupiter,

01:04:37.079 --> 01:04:45.840
to advanced and stellar photography. Lick, however,

01:04:46.039 --> 01:04:51.139
had a very personal condition as well. requested

01:04:51.139 --> 01:04:54.420
that he be buried beneath the great telescope

01:04:54.420 --> 01:04:59.019
itself with fresh flowers placed on his grave

01:04:59.019 --> 01:05:05.800
always today his tomb still rests under the observatory

01:05:05.800 --> 01:05:10.360
a quiet reminder of the man who turned his fortune

01:05:10.360 --> 01:05:21.369
into a permanent window to the stars wow I thought

01:05:21.369 --> 01:05:25.170
that was pretty cool. That's why I wanted to

01:05:25.170 --> 01:05:28.670
squeeze that in. No, no, it's fine. It's running

01:05:28.670 --> 01:05:32.650
so late. I all of a sudden just reverted to we're

01:05:32.650 --> 01:05:35.230
on the last phase of this. You know how we have

01:05:35.230 --> 01:05:38.809
the last and then we usually do a story and you

01:05:38.809 --> 01:05:41.670
do one and then that's it and we go. So, okay.

01:05:42.090 --> 01:05:43.789
Alright, we're going to take our second one.

01:05:43.829 --> 01:05:47.929
Well, last week I didn't have the bag, so. Oh,

01:05:47.929 --> 01:05:51.639
yeah. Yeah, that's true. That's true. Okay, we'll

01:05:51.639 --> 01:05:54.000
be back here in a minute. People often ask, how

01:05:54.000 --> 01:05:56.280
do we cram so much funny into one little show?

01:05:56.900 --> 01:06:00.199
Well, it's simple. We buy funny in bulk on the

01:06:00.199 --> 01:06:03.179
Internet. Hey, Mark, you're wanted at the front

01:06:03.179 --> 01:06:05.500
door. There's a big bag of funny they need you

01:06:05.500 --> 01:06:08.920
to sign for. Okay, thanks a lot. I'll be right

01:06:08.920 --> 01:06:10.820
there. I'm still sorting out the funny we got

01:06:10.820 --> 01:06:13.679
from yesterday. There's your answer. We buy funny

01:06:13.679 --> 01:06:17.769
in bulk on the Internet. Hey, all you ginger

01:06:17.769 --> 01:06:20.570
snaps. It's time for the douchebag question of

01:06:20.570 --> 01:06:24.010
the week. Turn all answers into two douches at

01:06:24.010 --> 01:06:29.050
mail .com. Spell out the number two. Send in

01:06:29.050 --> 01:06:32.949
your replies or Rob will find you. He is waiting

01:06:32.949 --> 01:06:35.949
for the word. Don't be bashful. You'll get yourself

01:06:35.949 --> 01:06:42.849
hurt. What if you uncovered and decoded a final

01:06:42.849 --> 01:06:46.170
warning from superior beings? from outer space.

01:06:46.969 --> 01:06:49.269
Would you warn the people of their soon -to -be

01:06:49.269 --> 01:06:52.210
demise? Or would people be way too irresponsible,

01:06:52.730 --> 01:06:55.849
and would go crazy, and preventing you from coming

01:06:55.849 --> 01:07:01.010
forth? Since the dawn of time, weird shit has

01:07:01.010 --> 01:07:04.230
happened. Strange occurrences, unexplained phobias,

01:07:04.309 --> 01:07:07.250
and other odd happenings. Over the next minute,

01:07:07.349 --> 01:07:09.909
we would like to bring you odd, rare phobias

01:07:09.909 --> 01:07:13.650
and conditions. Harlequin ichthyosis is a genetic

01:07:13.650 --> 01:07:15.710
disorder that babies are born with a thickened

01:07:15.710 --> 01:07:18.710
skin nearly over its entire body. The skin forms

01:07:18.710 --> 01:07:21.469
a large diamond trapezoid rectangle shaped plates

01:07:21.469 --> 01:07:24.130
that are separated by deep cracks. These affect

01:07:24.130 --> 01:07:27.309
the shape of the eyelids, nose, ears, mouth and

01:07:27.309 --> 01:07:29.570
limit the movement of the arms and legs. There

01:07:29.570 --> 01:07:32.289
are treatment options finally. The survival rate

01:07:32.289 --> 01:07:49.900
is much higher. All those who believe in psychokinesis,

01:07:49.960 --> 01:07:56.179
raise my hand. That needs to happen. Hey, my

01:07:56.179 --> 01:07:58.920
fellow heavy breathers, this is Dash Riptide,

01:07:59.079 --> 01:08:04.500
your music news. Walls of Jericho is a song by

01:08:04.500 --> 01:08:06.599
Bon Jovi that features a guest appearance by

01:08:06.599 --> 01:08:09.440
Def Leppard singer Joe Elliott. According to

01:08:09.440 --> 01:08:12.639
this Instagram post, the track is from the forever

01:08:12.639 --> 01:08:15.510
legendary edition of Bon Jovi's album. which

01:08:15.510 --> 01:08:19.569
was released in October 2025. The song is named

01:08:19.569 --> 01:08:22.609
Walls of Jericho. The song features Bon Jovi

01:08:22.609 --> 01:08:25.430
and Joe Elliott from Def Leppard. Jon Bon Jovi

01:08:25.430 --> 01:08:27.890
chose this song for Elliott to feature on because

01:08:27.890 --> 01:08:31.050
it's stadium rock sound that is reminiscent of

01:08:31.050 --> 01:08:33.630
both bands. It is their first ever collaboration.

01:08:34.329 --> 01:08:37.569
This is Gash Riptine, and that was your music

01:08:37.569 --> 01:08:40.630
news. If it's too loud, you probably have ear

01:08:40.630 --> 01:08:50.369
damage, just like me. Hey everybody, this is

01:08:50.369 --> 01:08:53.470
Uncle Rob. I'm going to give you some kicks for

01:08:53.470 --> 01:08:58.529
life. This is Uncle Rob's rules to dick pics.

01:08:59.510 --> 01:09:03.810
Rule number one. Type of a pic in someone else's

01:09:03.810 --> 01:09:08.890
name. So if you get busted, it's not yours. Rule

01:09:08.890 --> 01:09:13.010
number two. Shoot angles complementary to your

01:09:13.010 --> 01:09:41.189
length and girth. Rule number four. Okay, it's

01:09:41.189 --> 01:09:43.630
post -apocalypse and you're walking down the

01:09:43.630 --> 01:09:46.770
barren wasteland that used to be a city. You

01:09:46.770 --> 01:09:49.369
find an old can of beans lying in the middle

01:09:49.369 --> 01:09:52.210
of the road, but you do not have a can opener.

01:09:52.909 --> 01:09:56.550
What you do then is you find a patch of concrete.

01:09:56.789 --> 01:10:00.409
You rub the top of the can for five minutes.

01:10:00.810 --> 01:10:03.149
Then you go to the middle of the can and squeeze

01:10:03.149 --> 01:10:08.170
it, and it should pop right open. Next up, things

01:10:08.170 --> 01:10:11.810
overheard in hell. It moves, everybody. Candy

01:10:11.810 --> 01:10:14.949
corn has had a bumper crop. Everybody can have

01:10:14.949 --> 01:10:36.789
as much as I want. Yay! Two douchebags and a

01:10:36.789 --> 01:10:39.689
microphone. I'm Mark here in the Kansas City

01:10:39.689 --> 01:10:50.239
area. at the Talk is Cheap studio. And I am Rob

01:10:50.239 --> 01:10:52.840
in Wheatland, Missouri, home of the magnificent

01:10:52.840 --> 01:10:56.699
Lucas Oil Speedway and water track, and also

01:10:56.699 --> 01:11:01.020
home of Hickam's Country Store with the green

01:11:01.020 --> 01:11:06.439
big dick dinosaur that you keep talking about.

01:11:06.500 --> 01:11:15.069
Yes. In the duck blind studio. Awesome. You're

01:11:15.069 --> 01:11:18.010
the one who keeps talking about the big dick.

01:11:18.329 --> 01:11:21.310
I know. You caught me off guard. You just went

01:11:21.310 --> 01:11:24.189
with it. You're like, okay. He's got a huge wiener.

01:11:24.329 --> 01:11:28.810
You know me. Hell yeah. It just jumped out of

01:11:28.810 --> 01:11:34.199
my brain. I did it. Well, thank you, Rob. The

01:11:34.199 --> 01:11:37.659
controversial suicide pod inventor reveals new

01:11:37.659 --> 01:11:41.880
AI power feature to allow couples to die simultaneously.

01:11:43.640 --> 01:11:47.720
So the suicide pod we talked about last year,

01:11:47.760 --> 01:11:51.779
maybe, right? Like mid last year, June, maybe.

01:11:52.899 --> 01:11:58.079
You remember that story? Yeah, I do. Okay. Well,

01:11:58.199 --> 01:12:00.359
that's what we're talking about right here. The

01:12:00.359 --> 01:12:03.340
inventor reveals the new AI -powered feature

01:12:03.340 --> 01:12:06.600
will allow couples to die simultaneously. A year

01:12:06.600 --> 01:12:09.340
after a controversial assisted dying device was

01:12:09.340 --> 01:12:12.619
used for the first time, its inventor says it's

01:12:12.619 --> 01:12:16.039
preparing a new version designed for two. The

01:12:16.039 --> 01:12:19.199
Sarcopod, a 3D -printed capsule that allows a

01:12:19.199 --> 01:12:22.520
user to trigger a nitrogen release, entered the

01:12:22.520 --> 01:12:26.300
global spotlight in 2024 after a 64 -year -old

01:12:26.300 --> 01:12:29.630
American woman used it in Switzerland. to die

01:12:29.630 --> 01:12:34.529
the episode quickly spiraled into a police investigation

01:12:34.529 --> 01:12:37.329
with authorities seizing the device and detaining

01:12:37.329 --> 01:12:40.590
those present before later ruling out an intentional

01:12:40.590 --> 01:12:45.250
suicide now philip nitschke the australian -born

01:12:45.250 --> 01:12:49.550
physician behind sarco says development is underway

01:12:49.550 --> 01:12:52.329
on a larger ai enabled model built specifically

01:12:52.329 --> 01:12:55.020
for couples who want to die together I'm not

01:12:55.020 --> 01:12:57.079
suggesting everyone's going to race forward and

01:12:57.079 --> 01:12:59.119
say, boy, I really want to climb into one of

01:12:59.119 --> 01:13:02.300
those things, Nisky told the Daily Mail, but

01:13:02.300 --> 01:13:05.680
some people do, and therefore we have this pod.

01:13:08.359 --> 01:13:12.460
Rob, we're looking at you, not only because you're

01:13:12.460 --> 01:13:15.699
handsome and wearing a loincloth and have your

01:13:15.699 --> 01:13:18.960
legs spread, but because we want to hear your

01:13:18.960 --> 01:13:21.960
genius coming out of your mouth. Yeah, it is

01:13:21.960 --> 01:13:24.500
fairly warm up here. Yes, I do have one glove

01:13:24.500 --> 01:13:30.760
on. Are you airing out the nuts? Is that it?

01:13:30.779 --> 01:13:34.140
Are you airing out the twins? Well, yeah, you've

01:13:34.140 --> 01:13:37.020
got to do that every time. I was kind of leaving

01:13:37.020 --> 01:13:41.159
that off the air. Oh, I had to ask. I had to

01:13:41.159 --> 01:13:46.100
ask. But you know what? Rob's balls never sagged.

01:13:46.140 --> 01:13:49.380
Isn't that great? He does not have saggy balls,

01:13:49.500 --> 01:13:52.779
even though in his latter 50s, he has firm balls

01:13:52.779 --> 01:13:56.220
that are well attached to the bottom of his scrote.

01:13:58.159 --> 01:14:01.199
How do you think I married the 44 -year -old?

01:14:01.380 --> 01:14:05.460
See? It's because of those balls. It's his balls.

01:14:05.779 --> 01:14:08.539
She looked at his balls and said, I'll take it.

01:14:13.239 --> 01:14:23.819
Rob, please take this. Okay. Let's go back to

01:14:23.819 --> 01:14:31.000
my buddy Jake Paul. Mm -hmm. Somebody else has

01:14:31.000 --> 01:14:35.939
called him out. Uh -oh. You're going to love

01:14:35.939 --> 01:14:41.699
this one. Okay. Okay, YouTube star turned boxer

01:14:41.699 --> 01:14:46.699
Jake Paul has been called out by 60 part. or

01:14:46.699 --> 01:14:52.359
65 -year -old Hollywood actor and mixed martial

01:14:52.359 --> 01:14:57.779
artist Jean -Claude Van Damme. Oh, underwear

01:14:57.779 --> 01:15:02.199
splits guy. Yeah. Jean -Claude Van Damme, yes.

01:15:03.380 --> 01:15:08.199
Paul, 28, isn't done with boxing just yet, despite

01:15:08.199 --> 01:15:17.420
suffering a devastating knockout. I'm sorry,

01:15:19.680 --> 01:15:23.460
I can't quit talking about it. It was such a

01:15:23.460 --> 01:15:28.180
beautiful sight. It was. Warmed my heart. Yeah,

01:15:28.420 --> 01:15:32.300
the man from Somebody Finally Did It. I got weepy

01:15:32.300 --> 01:15:35.979
when I saw Jake Paul's blood coming out of his

01:15:35.979 --> 01:15:38.500
face. Yeah, oh my God, that was awesome. Oh,

01:15:38.500 --> 01:15:42.520
it was a touching moment. Anyway. The Americans

01:15:42.520 --> 01:15:45.640
severed a double broken jaw at the hands of AJ.

01:15:46.119 --> 01:15:49.880
And at his recovery, Paul has been in Belong

01:15:49.880 --> 01:15:58.899
Cortina watching his fiancée Judah Lordham win

01:15:58.899 --> 01:16:04.460
Winter Olympic gold in speed skating. Meanwhile,

01:16:04.539 --> 01:16:08.699
my father can't talk, but anyway. However, when

01:16:08.699 --> 01:16:11.770
he returns to competition, Paul won. be short

01:16:11.770 --> 01:16:16.329
of shooters, hoping to strike gold. And Belgian

01:16:16.329 --> 01:16:20.550
actor and martial artist Van Damme has thrown

01:16:20.550 --> 01:16:23.850
himself into the mix, hoping to land a big money

01:16:23.850 --> 01:16:31.789
fight. Hi Jay, this is Jay CBD, John Claude Van

01:16:31.789 --> 01:16:37.470
Damme, Bloodsport. Let's do a fight, a real fight

01:16:37.470 --> 01:16:41.899
of course, Van Damme said. I promise you, I will

01:16:41.899 --> 01:16:45.260
not kick below the belt, which means no low kick.

01:16:45.539 --> 01:16:48.939
And so I don't break your knee. I don't break

01:16:48.939 --> 01:16:54.779
your ankle. That's number one and number two.

01:16:54.840 --> 01:16:59.420
You cover yourself. Same for me, I guess. You've

01:16:59.420 --> 01:17:03.659
done a good fight with AJ. People make fun, but

01:17:03.659 --> 01:17:08.060
you were very courageous. The Belgian even has

01:17:08.060 --> 01:17:13.060
some venues in mind. Let's do a fight. It could

01:17:13.060 --> 01:17:22.359
be done in Macau, M -A -C -A -U. Oh, in Las Vegas.

01:17:22.699 --> 01:17:29.100
It could be in Middle East, Paris, UK. I like

01:17:29.100 --> 01:17:34.939
Macau or Dubai, and I'll go to Dubai. Whatever.

01:17:36.039 --> 01:17:40.560
Saudi Arabia, you choose a place, I'll give 15%.

01:17:40.920 --> 01:17:45.380
my profits. Jerry, you can do the same if not

01:17:45.380 --> 01:17:52.220
your decision. K1 without boxing, without low

01:17:52.220 --> 01:17:56.380
kick, or without elbow. I will not stop until

01:17:56.380 --> 01:18:02.880
you say yes. What do you have to lose? You're

01:18:02.880 --> 01:18:07.420
handsome. You're a beautiful. I don't drive a

01:18:07.420 --> 01:18:12.680
Ferrari. I don't use my spray. perfume. I'm a

01:18:12.680 --> 01:18:17.859
normal guy who just wants to kick your ass. Simple

01:18:17.859 --> 01:18:24.520
like that. We can do end of Christmas or happy

01:18:24.520 --> 01:18:27.840
holiday if you want to. Hopefully you will be

01:18:27.840 --> 01:18:31.720
available. Thank you. Van Damme added. Whether

01:18:31.720 --> 01:18:38.500
Paul responds is yet to be seen. Dude, I love

01:18:38.500 --> 01:18:45.270
that. I do too. Yeah, come on. Let's do this.

01:18:45.689 --> 01:18:49.489
And he's saying he will not hit below the belt.

01:18:51.390 --> 01:18:56.409
Okay. Well, I mean... How old is Van Damme? 57?

01:18:56.510 --> 01:19:00.729
Is that what you said? 65, I think. Oh, he's

01:19:00.729 --> 01:19:08.189
65? Yeah, 65. Yeah. They probably shouldn't even

01:19:08.189 --> 01:19:12.010
have him fight at 65. I mean, I'm sorry. He is

01:19:12.010 --> 01:19:16.319
a bad... Hey, hey, hey. He's a little bit different

01:19:16.319 --> 01:19:21.279
than Tyson. He's a little bit young. He's a mixed

01:19:21.279 --> 01:19:25.979
martial artist. Yeah, but Mike Tyson wasn't even

01:19:25.979 --> 01:19:30.420
60 yet. Okay. All right. I would love to see

01:19:30.420 --> 01:19:32.520
it. I'll tell you that. I would watch it for

01:19:32.520 --> 01:19:36.060
sure. Well, you already know what's on the radar

01:19:36.060 --> 01:19:40.039
for anybody he faces. Yeah, that's true. Who

01:19:40.039 --> 01:19:43.470
knows? Yep. Or that jaw. Everybody's got to go

01:19:43.470 --> 01:19:46.210
for that jaw. No, you're right. Why wouldn't

01:19:46.210 --> 01:19:48.510
you? Okay. All right. You know what? You just

01:19:48.510 --> 01:19:50.149
kind of talked me out of it. And Dan is one of

01:19:50.149 --> 01:19:54.229
the quickest ones that can get to it. Yeah. I'd

01:19:54.229 --> 01:19:58.250
love to. Yeah. He said he won't hit below the

01:19:58.250 --> 01:20:04.630
belt. You know, you can kick whatever. It's going

01:20:04.630 --> 01:20:07.170
to be a kickboxing match, but it has to be above

01:20:07.170 --> 01:20:11.029
the belt. That jaw is gone again. I always wanted

01:20:11.029 --> 01:20:14.789
to see... My opinion. My opinion. I always wanted

01:20:14.789 --> 01:20:17.750
to see... If he takes that fight. I always wanted

01:20:17.750 --> 01:20:22.050
to see Van Damme have a role with Steven Seagal

01:20:22.050 --> 01:20:24.069
and he just kicks the shit out of him for real.

01:20:25.149 --> 01:20:27.270
Wouldn't that have been good? Steven Seagal getting

01:20:27.270 --> 01:20:29.810
his shit kicked out of him. That was a match

01:20:29.810 --> 01:20:33.210
everybody always wanted to see, but it never

01:20:33.210 --> 01:20:36.010
happened. No, and I really, really wanted Van

01:20:36.010 --> 01:20:38.710
Damme to just kick the shit out of Seagal. Oh

01:20:38.710 --> 01:20:49.390
my God, yeah. Oh, shit. Shit, boy, he went on

01:20:49.390 --> 01:20:57.390
the expansion plan. You're not kidding. Oh, I

01:20:57.390 --> 01:20:59.489
know. You can't even tell it's the same guy.

01:20:59.569 --> 01:21:06.350
That's how fat he got. No. No. Oh, my God. Yeah.

01:21:10.220 --> 01:21:14.340
He really is, and he still has a stupid haircut.

01:21:15.579 --> 01:21:23.039
Yes. Steven Seagal, I never got his gimmick either

01:21:23.039 --> 01:21:25.020
because he never was that great of a martial

01:21:25.020 --> 01:21:27.739
artist or anything. He wasn't a great actor.

01:21:27.979 --> 01:21:32.359
I mean, I just don't know how he made it so far.

01:21:32.979 --> 01:21:38.199
Who was the other actors that made him? I don't

01:21:38.199 --> 01:21:41.939
know how he does the roles. All the fake blocks

01:21:41.939 --> 01:21:46.880
and shit, he'd bring his hand up, hit somebody

01:21:46.880 --> 01:21:50.939
in the face, knock them over. No. That ain't

01:21:50.939 --> 01:21:58.640
gonna happen. True. Now, at least Van Damme,

01:21:58.899 --> 01:22:01.500
he had to beat the shit out of somebody to keep

01:22:01.500 --> 01:22:06.380
him down. You know? Like he said, blood sport.

01:22:07.539 --> 01:22:11.439
Oh, jeez. Yep. Yeah, that was... I forgot all

01:22:11.439 --> 01:22:15.579
about that movie. That movie was so good. Yeah.

01:22:16.260 --> 01:22:19.859
All right, well, it is 9 -17. You have to work

01:22:19.859 --> 01:22:22.319
pretty early. I'm off tomorrow, so I don't give

01:22:22.319 --> 01:22:26.199
a shit. I'm going to let you make the call. Actually,

01:22:26.380 --> 01:22:29.920
I'm hauling the trailer to work tomorrow to get

01:22:29.920 --> 01:22:32.300
some stuff up. So, yeah, I've got to get home

01:22:32.300 --> 01:22:37.279
and restart. All right. I'm going to take the

01:22:37.279 --> 01:22:43.350
trailer to work. minutes early so oh real quick

01:22:43.350 --> 01:22:48.289
prayers for grandma opal for real oh always yeah

01:22:48.289 --> 01:22:52.750
uh do it extra hard this time i got you all right

01:22:52.750 --> 01:22:57.649
and uh we love you jimmy hang in there yes um

01:22:57.649 --> 01:23:00.590
anyhow uh thank you all for listening good night

01:23:00.590 --> 01:23:06.029
assholes good night assholes Oh, no. Looks like

01:23:06.029 --> 01:23:09.189
the show's over, kids. Mark has explosive diarrhea

01:23:09.189 --> 01:23:13.229
and can't afford a wireless mic. Fear not, assholes.

01:23:13.270 --> 01:23:15.449
They'll be back invading your ear holes soon.