WEBVTT

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Well, well, well. We see you made it back. That's

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right. It's time for your favorite podcast, Two

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Douchebags and Microphone, live from the historic

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river market in downtown Kansas City, Missouri.

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But only on Tuesdays and sometimes Wednesdays.

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Otherwise, you get live from the Duck Wine Studio

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in Wheatland, Missouri, and the Talk is Cheap

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studio from Extreme Southern Tent for the Kansas

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City Metroplex and the surrounding areas. Let's

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grab a seat and see what kind of garbage they

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throw at us today. Enjoy. Welcome again. We're

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happy you chose us. Come on in. Wash yourself

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off. Would you enjoy a bourbon and coke? There's

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a liquor store down the road. If you go, I need

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rolling papers. Well, since you're here, let's

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get this daily douchebag pledge out of the way.

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All right, bitches, swing your hips and pelvic

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thrust. Shout it out with me. I, Joe or Jane

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Listener, promise to download every podcast.

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I, Joe or Jane Listener, promise to make all

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friends, family members, and workmates download

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this show. I, Joe or Jane Listener, promise to

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grab idle computers, work computers, friends

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computers, community computers, and other assorted

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phones and listening devices and download the

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show from there. I, Joe or Jane Listener, We'll

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download the show and constantly barrage everyone

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with show name and platforms. I, Joe or Jane

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Listener, promise to wear a chicken costume and

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scream the show's name from my front yard. And

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finally, because of our 13 -year -old boy humor,

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we must go to Knobloch Cooter Licking in Uranus,

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Missouri to take selfies with the signs. If you

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go to Uranus, go to the Fudge Factory. Yes, there's

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a Fudge Factory in Uranus. No joke. Here at Two

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Douchebags and a Microphone, we don't stand behind

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our journalistic integrity. Go ahead and assume

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we got the story wrong. At least we admit it.

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Not like all those other guys, we can and will

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lie if it makes the story better. Two Douchebags

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and a Microphone. Hey there. We all have those

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annoying co -workers that do nothing. There's

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nothing we can do about it because HR departments

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are running scared of lawyers. So we have to

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work with these workless pieces of garbage. But

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we have to communicate about them without them

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knowing about it. Here at Two Douchebags Microphone,

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we developed a way that you can speak about them

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right in front of them without them knowing about

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it. Stay tuned. First code name, Absolute Zero.

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They contribute nothing and effectively stop

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all molecular motion in the project. Dark matter.

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You know they're there. They take up space, but

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they provide no light and cannot be observed

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during actual work. Static. High noise. Zero

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signal. Stays in one place. Event horizon. Once

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a task enters their orbit, it is never seen again.

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How about buffer? They take 20 minutes to process.

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A five -second request. The screensaver. Looks

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like they're working, but as soon as you touch

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them, they disappear. Cloud mode. Just floating

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around, vague, and nobody knows what they actually

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do. And finally, 404. Task not found. Stay tuned

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for more of these gems. That way, if it's someone

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you don't want to talk to, look off mid -sentence,

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and you're done. Yes, it's true. Mark is an old

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bastard. It's also true that Mark uses a lot

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of ibuprofen. But Mark would like to tell you,

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if you see any pictures of him roofing ibuprofen,

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it's obviously fake, and you're to take the pictures

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and tear them up immediately. And now we look

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in on the adventures of the technical explanation

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guy. Excuse me, my dear sir. Could you please

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put my plain bread in a small countertop appliance

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with heating elements that would spring loaded

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and would brown my bread adequately? Well, first

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off, I'm not a waiter. I'm just a guy over there

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sitting at the table having a drink. Second off,

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are you talking about someone toasting your bread?

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Well, yes. Yes, I am. I'm talking about my bread

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being toasted. Then why don't you just ask for

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your bread to be toasted, you dumb bastard? What

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the hell's wrong with you? Hey, peeps, it's time

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for the police blotter. That's right, stories

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about stupid criminals and the dumbassness that

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ensued. Let us begin now. An Ohio man was arrested

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after authorities said he mistakenly sent a baggie

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of crystal meth. through a tube at a bank drive

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-thru last week. Jason G. Smith, 46, was cuffed

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on December 3. After a swift investigation in

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to an unexpected deposit, he made at the bank

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in Woodsfield, Ohio, according to a press release

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from Monroe County Sheriff's Office. Smith drove

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away from the bank without realizing his mistake.

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An employee reported the baggie he left. He was

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picked up on a drug charge soon after. Two douchebags

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and microphone. I am Mark, and I'm going to make

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a little bit of noise here because I've got to

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adjust the microphone. Okay, and it's going to

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make noise on your end. I am here in Kansas City,

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the Kansas City chapter of Two Douchebags and

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Microphone, and I am in the Talk is Cheap studio,

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and here comes my lovely goat noises. Population

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371, home of Lucas Oil, the magnificent Lucas

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Oil Speedway and Water Track, and also home of

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Hickam Old Country Store, where you can find

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all your needs, including a selfie with the green

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Sinclair dinosaur in the blind studio. All right,

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Rob, thank you very much. And how are you this

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evening, Rob? Good. My big saw just got rebuilt

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today. Cool. No, we tore it all the way down.

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Yeah, we got new shafts. But I have the same

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guard, same motor. That's about it. Okay, been

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rebuilt. That's good. Well, I took the yellow

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ink marker on my guard. It comes down over the

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blade. That's the name of your butch for butcher?

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Butch is steel. Butch is steel. Okay. All right.

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And now it's going to be brand new, brand new

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belts, everything. It's going to cut straight.

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The welders are going to love it. Oh, good. Good.

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No, we've been working with it, and we noticed

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the angle kept getting further and further off.

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It's not an angle. Yes. You know what I mean?

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I know what you're talking about. They wear out

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and they start warping. There's a lot of heat

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that happens when you cut parts. Well, it was

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up there. And the main body housing was wearing

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out. Oh, okay. So we just replaced the whole

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thing. The plant manager said, I don't want to

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work on this again while I'm still working here.

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Okay. Oh, yeah. Okay. He's great at what he does.

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That's good. Okay, cool. Well, I'll get into

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this here. I was driving home the other day,

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and my Jeep gets smacked. The lady that hit me

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kept trying to tell me it was my fault by saying

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things that didn't happen. She accused me of

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changing lanes and hitting her and badgering

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me about it. I finally had to tell her, I go,

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I'm not going to argue with you. So, you know,

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let's let the insurance companies figure this

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out because that's what they do. So, all right.

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So first she calls the cops and the cops tell

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her, you know, take down information. And I don't

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think this lady realized that there was cameras

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all over that intersection, but I did realize

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it. And I wasn't going to fucking argue with

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her. I knew that. I was like, okay, you know,

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let's let the insurance companies. So the bitch

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ends up filing a claim against my insurance.

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And she was adamant about me not following the

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correct lanes. And my insurance company, State

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Farm, pulls camera footage and delivers her the

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good news. She was the one in a turning lane

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and almost hit oncoming cars by not turning in

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her lane. She swerved to the right where I was

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and hit the back quarter panel of my Jeep. So.

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There you go. Yeah. dumb bitch i swear she um

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and and i was so polite about it too i was so

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polite and you know i could have lost my head

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and been like you dumb bitch you hit me and you

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fucking know you did but you know what i finally

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learned a little bit of stuff in life and i just

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killed her with kindness i was just like you

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know i said look i said we both have insurance

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and we're both not hurt so let's number one let's

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thank god we're not hurt Number two, let's let

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the experts figure it out instead of sitting

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here going, I did this or you did that or nothing.

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I said, accusing each other is not going to help

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anything. So she kind of like, but she was, I

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think she wanted to talk me into, it was my fault,

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so I admit it. You know, maybe she works at a

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lawyer's office or something. I don't know. I

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just thought that, you know, the way she came

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at me like that, badger me going, so what were

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you doing? I'm driving home like I do every fucking

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night on this road. Doing the same thing. I know

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this road. I drive it every night. I know the

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left is a turning lane and the two other lanes,

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one you can turn right and one you go forward.

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Always stay in the middle lane so I can go forward

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so there's no doubt about it. No one's turning

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in front of me, nothing. So I did the same thing

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I always did. And like I thought, you know, I

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think she didn't think that there was cameras

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or she didn't think that they could pull cameras.

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So as soon as I got home, I filled out a police

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report at the exact time. So that way, when the

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insurance companies get a hold of the police

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department and ask for a report, they know exactly

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what time it is and also told them that too.

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And also the police can tell them what cameras

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they can use and they'll work with them. You

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see what I mean? They'll go, okay, so this is

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the intersection of so -and -so, and what time

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was it? Okay, all right, well, let's take a look.

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Okay, what were the cars involved? Okay, the

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black Jeep and then her car, I think it's a Volkswagen

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or something. So anyhow, it turned out right

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like it should, but I'll tell you what, people

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never cease to amaze me. I mean, I could not

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imagine. Now, Rob, could you do that? Could you

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walk up to someone you knew you hit? and go,

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what'd you do? Why'd you do that? Could you do

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that and look at them in the eyes? I couldn't

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either. I'm not that dishonest. I mean, unless

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she really thought that I was the one doing wrong,

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but I don't see how she could have thought that.

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There's no way. And besides that, the insurance,

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my insurance adjust, my insurance lady that she

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filed a claim against said, you know what? She

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said, Now, she said she also admitted she didn't

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know the road and she didn't know that it was

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a turning lane. So I was like, oh, okay. All

00:13:07.809 --> 00:13:09.590
right, that's good to know. So she knew that

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back then. So she was just being, trying to bully

00:13:13.190 --> 00:13:15.809
me into admitting it was my fault and getting

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me to pay for her stupid shit. So guess what?

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The good news is she has to pay for her own and

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she has to pay for mine now. So, you know, next

00:13:23.769 --> 00:13:25.929
time she hits somebody, maybe she should fucking

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think about that, right? Yeah. So, anyhow. So,

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the problem is on this now, I've been hit three

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fucking times in the last six months. Two parked

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in a parking lot, and one that was on Rock Hill.

00:13:41.200 --> 00:13:42.620
Well, you know what, I'm not going to say where.

00:13:43.419 --> 00:13:47.200
Anyhow. So, and Topher and I almost get hit every

00:13:47.200 --> 00:13:49.940
fucking time we head to the city market. Now

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I know why insurance rates are so astronomical.

00:13:52.799 --> 00:13:56.220
The idiots that do have insurance hit other cars

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all the time and raise in all our rates. And

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then the other idiots do not have insurance.

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And then our insurance has to pay for them, too.

00:14:06.580 --> 00:14:08.840
So, you know, I bag on insurance companies all

00:14:08.840 --> 00:14:12.779
the time, right? Well, I think I kind of see

00:14:12.779 --> 00:14:17.059
I kind of see what's going on now. Now, don't

00:14:17.059 --> 00:14:19.500
get me wrong. They get their cut. And they're

00:14:19.500 --> 00:14:23.419
not bashful to charge you, you know. But still,

00:14:23.580 --> 00:14:28.440
a lot of that is just what I said. So, I have

00:14:28.440 --> 00:14:31.120
a public service announcement for everybody here.

00:14:53.840 --> 00:14:56.200
right i think i'm done oh shit hang on what the

00:14:56.200 --> 00:15:03.559
hell happened there so anyhow my megaphone flipped

00:15:03.559 --> 00:15:05.460
out on me and started repeating and i'm like

00:15:05.460 --> 00:15:09.500
what the hell so um anyhow that's my public service

00:15:09.500 --> 00:15:12.240
announcement for any idiot that's like looking

00:15:12.240 --> 00:15:15.039
at facebook or texting or i don't know whatever

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you know because i'm pretty much convinced Yeah,

00:15:19.110 --> 00:15:22.029
people are stupid, but a lot of it is they don't

00:15:22.029 --> 00:15:23.490
think they should be driving when they're driving.

00:15:23.490 --> 00:15:25.889
They're like, oh, let's see what Facebook is

00:15:25.889 --> 00:15:28.230
doing. Oh, hey, oh, I better text somebody and

00:15:28.230 --> 00:15:30.190
ask them if they're going to order those cheeseburgers.

00:15:30.230 --> 00:15:31.850
You know, shit like that all the time. Every

00:15:31.850 --> 00:15:35.570
time I turn and I look over next to me, motherfuckers

00:15:35.570 --> 00:15:38.789
looking at their phone. And it's really fucking

00:15:38.789 --> 00:15:42.230
irritating, I can tell you that. I drive 45 minutes

00:15:42.230 --> 00:15:46.230
down a two -lane country highway. That'd be nice.

00:15:50.090 --> 00:15:53.490
Yep. And other drivers. No, I ain't got time

00:15:53.490 --> 00:15:57.649
for my phone. No, I know. I've driven down there.

00:15:58.370 --> 00:16:02.009
It does. No, it has to. I know you have too many

00:16:02.009 --> 00:16:05.309
curves, too many hills, too many steep embankments,

00:16:05.350 --> 00:16:08.190
and too many deer. So, yeah, I get it, dude.

00:16:08.809 --> 00:16:14.649
So, you know, we fight. Not fight. We fart twice

00:16:14.649 --> 00:16:16.909
as much as we previously thought. Scientists

00:16:16.909 --> 00:16:20.309
discover that the new smart underwear, that they

00:16:20.309 --> 00:16:23.710
have now, while breaking wind could help protect

00:16:23.710 --> 00:16:26.529
against Alzheimer's and postpartum depression.

00:16:27.610 --> 00:16:33.009
This is farting. They say it can do this. It

00:16:33.009 --> 00:16:35.830
can help you protect against Alzheimer's and

00:16:35.830 --> 00:16:38.889
postpartum depression. So, you know, women that

00:16:38.889 --> 00:16:41.909
just had a kid, you know, if they fart a lot,

00:16:41.929 --> 00:16:44.350
they may not be... They may not get depressed

00:16:44.350 --> 00:16:46.889
like some women do because postpartum depression

00:16:46.889 --> 00:16:49.889
is really serious. A lot of young mothers take

00:16:49.889 --> 00:16:53.350
their lives because of that situation. It's an

00:16:53.350 --> 00:16:56.049
odd thing that happens in the brain. I don't

00:16:56.049 --> 00:17:00.669
know if it's chemical. It probably is. So, you

00:17:00.669 --> 00:17:03.370
know, scientists recently discovered that we're

00:17:03.370 --> 00:17:07.759
passing gas a lot more often. than they previously

00:17:07.759 --> 00:17:11.180
thought, thanks to some smart underpants. But

00:17:11.180 --> 00:17:13.640
researchers at the University of Maryland recently

00:17:13.640 --> 00:17:16.440
developed technology to accurately measure human

00:17:16.440 --> 00:17:19.779
flatulence, and it's up to an average of 32 farts

00:17:19.779 --> 00:17:24.799
a day. Man, I'm an overachiever, Rob. Yeah, really?

00:17:25.099 --> 00:17:29.859
Yeah, 32? Jeez, man, I don't know if I did that

00:17:29.859 --> 00:17:32.980
when I was 8. I was probably up in the 80s when

00:17:32.980 --> 00:17:36.299
I was 8. I'm thinking I'm probably 130 now. So,

00:17:36.420 --> 00:17:40.019
in an effort to better understand excessive gastrointestinal

00:17:40.019 --> 00:17:43.440
issues and gut microbes, the team created Smart

00:17:43.440 --> 00:17:46.460
Underwear, a tiny wearable device that snaps

00:17:46.460 --> 00:17:49.859
discreetly into your underwear. Electrochemical

00:17:49.859 --> 00:17:53.140
sensors track intestinal gas product and hydrogen

00:17:53.140 --> 00:17:56.980
and flatus around the clock. Except, ironically,

00:17:57.160 --> 00:18:01.640
when the person is on the toilet, that type of

00:18:01.640 --> 00:18:05.140
a smell from your flatulence. Now, that is smart

00:18:05.140 --> 00:18:09.299
underwear, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah. It's like, nope,

00:18:09.380 --> 00:18:12.000
nope, that's a turd. Turn off. Turn off. Abort.

00:18:12.420 --> 00:18:16.440
So, individual rates vary widely, but some farting

00:18:16.440 --> 00:18:19.259
as few as four times a day and others up to 59

00:18:19.259 --> 00:18:22.180
times. Oh, that's fucking baby shit there, isn't

00:18:22.180 --> 00:18:26.460
it? 59 times is nothing. Oh, hell no. I do that

00:18:26.460 --> 00:18:28.799
in my sleep. I do that in like two hours of sleep.

00:18:29.319 --> 00:18:31.740
I'd probably rip, I don't know, 30, don't you

00:18:31.740 --> 00:18:36.400
think, maybe? I don't know. I do that at least.

00:18:36.880 --> 00:18:40.559
Oh, me too. From the time I get to work till

00:18:40.559 --> 00:18:45.599
lunch. Yeah. Yep. Oh, same here. So, I don't

00:18:45.599 --> 00:18:47.420
know. Well, you know what? The good thing is

00:18:47.420 --> 00:18:49.359
we may not get Alzheimer's and we definitely

00:18:49.359 --> 00:18:52.119
won't get postpartum depression. So how about

00:18:52.119 --> 00:18:55.220
that, right? That's a good thing, right? Yeah.

00:18:55.420 --> 00:18:57.579
There we go. See, our farting is doing something

00:18:57.579 --> 00:19:02.799
good. All right. Keep eating Taco Bell. Well,

00:19:02.859 --> 00:19:05.920
that's a whole different one. That can lead to

00:19:05.920 --> 00:19:10.619
some disasters. Don't do that. Don't do that.

00:19:11.319 --> 00:19:14.519
The last time I ate Taco Bell was probably the

00:19:14.519 --> 00:19:17.660
last time I'll ever eat them. Oh, my God. Yeah.

00:19:18.599 --> 00:19:20.660
I'm telling you what. I felt sorry for my stool.

00:19:20.799 --> 00:19:23.180
I thought I cracked it. I had to take a look.

00:19:23.299 --> 00:19:26.519
I was like, you know what? If this is going to

00:19:26.519 --> 00:19:28.660
come out like this again with that much force,

00:19:28.819 --> 00:19:30.859
I'm going to go up to Quick Trip and break their

00:19:30.859 --> 00:19:36.200
stool. Not mine. But I was done with that. Thankfully,

00:19:36.359 --> 00:19:38.839
that one time was it. I got rid of all of the

00:19:38.839 --> 00:19:41.599
Taco Bell and all that and all the evilness in

00:19:41.599 --> 00:19:44.380
my gut. And I was fine after that. So I didn't

00:19:44.380 --> 00:19:46.559
have to go to Quick Trip and destroy their toilet.

00:19:47.279 --> 00:19:53.170
So I love this new idea, Rob. There's a new stamp

00:19:53.170 --> 00:19:58.369
that tells readers if a book is AI -free. You

00:19:58.369 --> 00:20:00.910
know, you can buy organic fruit, vegetables,

00:20:01.089 --> 00:20:04.309
wine, soap, and now you can get organic literature,

00:20:04.630 --> 00:20:07.950
too. The word organic means that something comes

00:20:07.950 --> 00:20:10.670
from a living thing. And these days, with AI

00:20:10.670 --> 00:20:13.430
becoming more popular, it's not always easy to

00:20:13.430 --> 00:20:15.690
know if something has been written by a human

00:20:15.690 --> 00:20:17.930
or a machine. And this is true on everything.

00:20:20.680 --> 00:20:22.799
It's like, wait a minute, I know that's not true.

00:20:23.140 --> 00:20:25.480
And it has a picture of something that didn't

00:20:25.480 --> 00:20:29.000
happen, right? And you know for a fact that it's

00:20:29.000 --> 00:20:31.720
bullshit, but it looks just like something that

00:20:31.720 --> 00:20:34.160
happened and half of the people believe it because

00:20:34.160 --> 00:20:38.700
they don't know better. Yeah, it happens all

00:20:38.700 --> 00:20:41.440
the time. So now that would be great. You know,

00:20:41.440 --> 00:20:43.920
that's why there's a UK startup called Books

00:20:43.920 --> 00:20:47.500
by People has launched an organic literature

00:20:47.500 --> 00:20:51.170
stamp. The stamp is a way for publishing companies

00:20:51.170 --> 00:20:54.250
to verify that a book has been written by a human.

00:20:54.390 --> 00:20:57.430
If AI is used, it must be limited to things like

00:20:57.430 --> 00:20:59.569
spelling and formatting, which I agree with.

00:20:59.930 --> 00:21:02.769
According to Books by People, the stamp protects

00:21:02.769 --> 00:21:05.710
the value of human stories and the future of

00:21:05.710 --> 00:21:10.230
literature. A book called Telenovela something

00:21:10.230 --> 00:21:13.930
like that, by Gonzalo C. Garcia, will be the

00:21:13.930 --> 00:21:16.410
first to receive the stamp. It will be published

00:21:16.410 --> 00:21:19.509
in November by Gallery Beggar Press, a publishing

00:21:19.509 --> 00:21:22.589
company in the United Kingdom. According to The

00:21:22.589 --> 00:21:25.329
Guardian, Sam Jordison from Gallery Beggar Press

00:21:25.329 --> 00:21:28.109
said he's proud to be the first publisher to

00:21:28.109 --> 00:21:30.789
place a stamp on a book, adding that the stamp

00:21:30.789 --> 00:21:32.990
is important for publishers, writers, and readers.

00:21:33.529 --> 00:21:35.710
For now, Books by People is only working in the

00:21:35.710 --> 00:21:38.490
UK, but it hopes to begin publishing in other

00:21:38.490 --> 00:21:41.569
countries soon. So I think that's a pretty good

00:21:41.569 --> 00:21:45.529
idea. I mean, at least you can distinguish some

00:21:45.529 --> 00:21:47.809
bullshit from real stuff just by that, right?

00:21:48.849 --> 00:21:53.450
Yeah. Okay. Sounds good to me. It really does.

00:21:53.710 --> 00:21:58.029
Yeah, I do too. It would help me. I know that.

00:21:59.000 --> 00:22:00.900
Yeah, me too, because let's say we're getting

00:22:00.900 --> 00:22:02.980
a story, right? And I thought of that too, like

00:22:02.980 --> 00:22:04.460
you're talking about. That's what I'm saying,

00:22:04.480 --> 00:22:06.819
that we wouldn't have half the stories we have.

00:22:08.500 --> 00:22:13.759
Yes, yes. Well, you know what? We got the truth

00:22:13.759 --> 00:22:16.200
in lending though, right? We got at the very

00:22:16.200 --> 00:22:18.559
front, at the very front, you know, at the very

00:22:18.559 --> 00:22:20.839
front of this, I said fart, I've been talking

00:22:20.839 --> 00:22:23.400
about flatulence. At the very front of this,

00:22:23.500 --> 00:22:26.700
we say, hey, we make shit up, we're not to be

00:22:26.700 --> 00:22:31.519
believed, right? Yeah, so there you go. Don't

00:22:31.519 --> 00:22:34.779
we try to be truthful with you? We really do,

00:22:34.940 --> 00:22:36.880
but it's always fun to do something, you know,

00:22:36.900 --> 00:22:40.339
oh, hey. Yeah, we gotta make some shit up. We

00:22:40.339 --> 00:22:42.420
gotta make it something spunky, something entertaining,

00:22:42.460 --> 00:22:45.900
keep people on their toes, right? Gotta keep

00:22:45.900 --> 00:22:48.059
us on our toes. Probably a little bit of both,

00:22:48.140 --> 00:22:51.299
yep. Okay, Rob, I want your opinion on this.

00:22:52.259 --> 00:22:55.680
An ICU nurse reveals what every patient tells

00:22:55.680 --> 00:22:58.710
her before they pass. People know when they're

00:22:58.710 --> 00:23:02.569
going to die, she claims. An ICU nurse has made

00:23:02.569 --> 00:23:05.589
a spine -chilling claim on social media, revealing

00:23:05.589 --> 00:23:08.410
that one thing patients say to her before they

00:23:08.410 --> 00:23:13.309
pass away. In a now -viral video, user Christina

00:23:13.309 --> 00:23:17.490
Robb claimed she's been an ICU nurse for four

00:23:17.490 --> 00:23:20.190
years and every single person who passes away

00:23:20.190 --> 00:23:24.450
says the same thing. They say, can you please

00:23:24.450 --> 00:23:27.099
tell my family I love them? I don't feel good.

00:23:27.160 --> 00:23:29.920
I know I'm going to die. She shared on TikTok.

00:23:30.059 --> 00:23:32.539
This is what she says they say, all of them,

00:23:32.559 --> 00:23:37.740
before they pass. I see that. Yeah, I could too.

00:23:37.980 --> 00:23:41.599
I mean, you know, I think that people act different.

00:23:41.940 --> 00:23:44.039
I've been around, unfortunately, enough family

00:23:44.039 --> 00:23:46.619
members and good friends that were on the verge

00:23:46.619 --> 00:23:48.880
of death, and we knew they were going to cross

00:23:48.880 --> 00:23:51.779
over sooner or later, whether it be cancer or

00:23:51.779 --> 00:23:55.829
something else, right? but they act differently.

00:23:56.349 --> 00:23:59.130
It could be something as simple as somebody that

00:23:59.130 --> 00:24:03.130
got into a car accident and their family ain't

00:24:03.130 --> 00:24:06.470
made it there yet. Yes, yes, and then they go.

00:24:06.690 --> 00:24:11.589
Yeah, I get that. I do too. I really do. Yeah,

00:24:11.609 --> 00:24:16.529
I do as well, Rob. Okay, so Christy claimed that

00:24:16.529 --> 00:24:18.309
people know they're going to die because there's

00:24:18.309 --> 00:24:22.329
a spiritual shift that nobody can explain. I

00:24:22.329 --> 00:24:24.269
could believe that too. Don't you think? Don't

00:24:24.269 --> 00:24:27.829
you think like, you know, the body spirit starts,

00:24:27.829 --> 00:24:30.789
you know, probably prepping to leave this earth

00:24:30.789 --> 00:24:34.509
and go where you go to, right? So a patient's

00:24:34.509 --> 00:24:36.789
vitals may be stable and their condition might

00:24:36.789 --> 00:24:39.549
not have changed. There's something inherently

00:24:39.549 --> 00:24:42.490
dangerous that's screaming. This is what's going

00:24:42.490 --> 00:24:45.900
to kill them, she said. She said it doesn't matter

00:24:45.900 --> 00:24:48.140
what medicine is given, what precautions are

00:24:48.140 --> 00:24:50.700
taken, or what procedures are done. The minute

00:24:50.700 --> 00:24:53.119
that the inner shift happens, where the spirit

00:24:53.119 --> 00:24:55.740
is crying out and telling the person, you have

00:24:55.740 --> 00:24:59.160
one more, and you know what happened to my other

00:24:59.160 --> 00:25:02.259
page here, I apologize, one more chance. This

00:25:02.259 --> 00:25:04.980
is your last opportunity. They always die, Christy

00:25:04.980 --> 00:25:07.839
said, while starting to cry. She then warned

00:25:07.839 --> 00:25:10.279
her followers to stop playing around with their

00:25:10.279 --> 00:25:12.859
lives and focus on deeper meaning of life. You

00:25:12.859 --> 00:25:16.200
know what, I... You know what? Yeah. Yeah. I

00:25:16.200 --> 00:25:20.200
already have. I have, too. Seriously, I already

00:25:20.200 --> 00:25:24.059
have. You know, as you get older, you can't help

00:25:24.059 --> 00:25:28.160
it. I think so different than I used to. The

00:25:28.160 --> 00:25:31.740
things I swore I would never think of and think

00:25:31.740 --> 00:25:35.359
about and use as a priority, I never thought

00:25:35.359 --> 00:25:37.920
about when I was younger. The world was a playground.

00:25:39.819 --> 00:25:44.140
now lost both of my parents. Yeah, I know. So,

00:25:44.339 --> 00:25:50.019
yeah, it changes you. It does. I mean, my parents

00:25:50.019 --> 00:25:54.400
raised me to live on my own, to be my own person.

00:25:54.559 --> 00:25:58.819
They did a good job. And I have. I have never

00:25:58.819 --> 00:26:05.940
went to my parents for money. Just for love and

00:26:05.940 --> 00:26:09.140
being family, you know. No, I know that, Rob.

00:26:12.930 --> 00:26:19.609
It really is. Yeah. But you still have to go

00:26:19.609 --> 00:26:23.970
on. Yeah, yeah, and we do. I lost my dad a long

00:26:23.970 --> 00:26:26.690
time ago. Well, you lost your stepdad a long

00:26:26.690 --> 00:26:30.390
time ago, too. Yeah, my dad passed away in 99.

00:26:30.789 --> 00:26:35.690
Okay, mine passed away in 93. So it wasn't that

00:26:35.690 --> 00:26:39.130
far away. It was both a long time ago. And it

00:26:39.130 --> 00:26:44.279
was different. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I still have

00:26:44.279 --> 00:26:52.180
mom. So, yeah. Yep. All I have is the Duke. Yep.

00:26:52.180 --> 00:26:55.559
And I'll tell you what, you know, losing a parent

00:26:55.559 --> 00:26:58.180
sucks. You know, losing my dad sucked. But I

00:26:58.180 --> 00:27:00.660
would say that the worst loss I've ever had in

00:27:00.660 --> 00:27:03.920
my life. Now, animals are horrible losses, too.

00:27:04.019 --> 00:27:06.859
You know, because I love my pets. They are. But

00:27:06.859 --> 00:27:12.180
my brother was the worst thing. I still. Yeah,

00:27:12.299 --> 00:27:15.940
yeah. I could still go back to that original

00:27:15.940 --> 00:27:19.099
feeling that I had, which sucks. So, all right.

00:27:20.119 --> 00:27:22.819
Anyhow. Yeah, because I know the bond you and

00:27:22.819 --> 00:27:27.299
your brother had. Yeah, yep. And I feel sorry

00:27:27.299 --> 00:27:29.119
for people who don't have that bond. And if you

00:27:29.119 --> 00:27:31.519
don't, I encourage you to try to find that bond.

00:27:32.039 --> 00:27:35.200
You only have, you know, you only have... One

00:27:35.200 --> 00:27:37.819
brother or whatever, however many it is, you

00:27:37.819 --> 00:27:40.259
don't get any more. And, you know, I looked up

00:27:40.259 --> 00:27:42.980
to my brother, you know, when I grew up. You

00:27:42.980 --> 00:27:45.460
know, growing up, he was a guy that, you know,

00:27:45.460 --> 00:27:47.140
he was like, you know, I was getting my ass kicked

00:27:47.140 --> 00:27:49.440
down the road. And my brother looked at me and

00:27:49.440 --> 00:27:50.779
said, Mark, he goes, you know what, you're pretty

00:27:50.779 --> 00:27:54.559
big. Yeah. Why don't you hit that guy back? Hit

00:27:54.559 --> 00:27:57.119
him right in the face as hard as you can. And

00:27:57.119 --> 00:27:59.400
then the guy that was picking on me relentlessly,

00:27:59.500 --> 00:28:02.619
his name was John or Johnny. I smacked him right

00:28:02.619 --> 00:28:05.250
in the nose, broke his nose. And my brother looked

00:28:05.250 --> 00:28:08.470
at me and he said, there you go. Told you. Yeah.

00:28:08.690 --> 00:28:10.829
You know, and my brother taught me so many other

00:28:10.829 --> 00:28:14.970
things, too. Yes. And to be honest, I'm the oldest

00:28:14.970 --> 00:28:18.289
out of all my siblings. So I know that rule.

00:28:18.490 --> 00:28:22.390
Yeah. Yeah. You know, I pretty much worshipped

00:28:22.390 --> 00:28:25.470
him. You know, he bought these Kiss albums and

00:28:25.470 --> 00:28:27.650
I'm tagged along. Hey, what's that? Hey, this

00:28:27.650 --> 00:28:30.380
is a new band, Kiss. Black Sabbath. You know,

00:28:30.380 --> 00:28:32.839
all this cool stuff. All these posters and stuff.

00:28:32.920 --> 00:28:35.299
Hey, what's that, John? Oh, hey, this is a, you

00:28:35.299 --> 00:28:38.759
know, and yeah, but anyhow, you know what? That's

00:28:38.759 --> 00:28:40.480
not what I was trying to get here, so I'm going

00:28:40.480 --> 00:28:43.799
to go ahead and go on to this. Yeah, yeah, it's

00:28:43.799 --> 00:28:47.420
starting to get a little deep. Yeah, yeah. Hang

00:28:47.420 --> 00:28:50.500
on, hang on. I'll change this. Dick. Dick and

00:28:50.500 --> 00:28:54.269
balls. There. All right, there we go. Everything's

00:28:54.269 --> 00:28:56.549
cool. All right, we've gotten all caught up.

00:28:56.609 --> 00:29:00.470
Angels are large. Yes. We've gotten all caught

00:29:00.470 --> 00:29:02.869
up with all this foolishness, and I get it because

00:29:02.869 --> 00:29:06.250
it consumes me, too. Sometimes, she said, life

00:29:06.250 --> 00:29:08.710
is not meant to be an endless pursuit of things.

00:29:08.930 --> 00:29:11.410
Life is meant to be enjoyed. Life is meant to

00:29:11.410 --> 00:29:14.109
be appreciated. Life is meant to be explored.

00:29:14.329 --> 00:29:16.589
Your spirit knows you are connected to something

00:29:16.589 --> 00:29:20.049
deeper than what we're told. Well, I think it's

00:29:20.049 --> 00:29:24.160
God, but you can... I'm not in the business of

00:29:24.160 --> 00:29:26.759
telling you how you should think or anything,

00:29:27.000 --> 00:29:29.759
but believe me, I believe in God, and I think

00:29:29.759 --> 00:29:35.099
that all this leads to God. So, you know, viewers

00:29:35.099 --> 00:29:40.039
on TikTok echoed her experience, and for once,

00:29:40.059 --> 00:29:43.119
I agree with somebody on TikTok. Normally, I

00:29:43.119 --> 00:29:48.250
think they're idiots. I have more, but you know

00:29:48.250 --> 00:29:50.930
what? In the interest of time and how we always

00:29:50.930 --> 00:29:53.970
run over constantly, I think I'm going to go

00:29:53.970 --> 00:29:58.049
ahead and hand it to you, Rob. Okay, well, since

00:29:58.049 --> 00:30:00.410
we're running short on time, I'm going to do

00:30:00.410 --> 00:30:05.829
an ad -lib one. Okay. It's something that's happening

00:30:05.829 --> 00:30:11.109
to me in my life right now. Okay. And it's something

00:30:11.109 --> 00:30:16.500
that I didn't know that could happen. So far,

00:30:16.500 --> 00:30:21.400
nobody else knew it could happen either. Recently,

00:30:22.039 --> 00:30:27.200
I've been, well, last November, I changed my

00:30:27.200 --> 00:30:33.240
cell phone service. I went from one company to

00:30:33.240 --> 00:30:36.579
another. I'm going to leave it right there. I'm

00:30:36.579 --> 00:30:38.579
not going to mention the companies at this point.

00:30:48.519 --> 00:30:55.000
a couple days ago that the company that I started

00:30:55.000 --> 00:31:01.220
out with is still billing me for service. Wow.

00:31:25.940 --> 00:31:33.160
And I even had my phone number, the same exact

00:31:33.160 --> 00:31:37.720
phone, everything switched to this new company.

00:31:37.980 --> 00:31:43.220
Which at that time, I was told, once that transaction

00:31:43.220 --> 00:31:54.819
happened, that the number switched. Uh -huh.

00:31:56.980 --> 00:32:04.740
I was good. Well, that was in November. Okay.

00:32:24.329 --> 00:32:59.920
I didn't know you could do that. But I actually

00:32:59.920 --> 00:33:04.279
went in and this guy actually helped me. What

00:33:04.279 --> 00:33:10.900
he told me is when you do that, you actually

00:33:10.900 --> 00:33:17.019
need to call customer service and let them know

00:33:17.019 --> 00:33:21.700
so they'll make sure that your service is cut

00:33:21.700 --> 00:33:56.140
off. which is still there somehow but I'm not

00:33:56.140 --> 00:34:39.469
paying for it plus you know So you're not going

00:34:39.469 --> 00:34:41.289
to get your money back even though they took

00:34:41.289 --> 00:35:16.349
it when they... Okay. Okay. Mm -hmm. just an

00:35:16.349 --> 00:35:20.289
operator. They don't know shit. They can't do

00:35:20.289 --> 00:35:24.369
shit. All they can do is look at your information

00:35:24.369 --> 00:35:27.250
at a computer screen. That's all they are allowed

00:35:27.250 --> 00:35:31.809
to do pretty much. Unless they can help you with

00:35:31.809 --> 00:35:34.170
other things. They're the cheaper help is what

00:35:34.170 --> 00:35:36.150
it is. That's what it amounts to. They're just

00:35:36.150 --> 00:35:40.670
to answer the phone. This guy looked at me and

00:35:40.670 --> 00:35:44.690
he goes, what you do when you call customer service

00:35:44.690 --> 00:35:49.860
and talk. Talk to that person. Ask them for somebody

00:35:49.860 --> 00:35:57.340
with loyalty. That was his exact words. Loyalty.

00:35:57.440 --> 00:36:01.659
Okay. Evidently, that goes somewhere with this

00:36:01.659 --> 00:36:06.840
company. I guess it's like asking for a supervisor.

00:36:08.119 --> 00:36:11.519
Yeah, yeah. I think I know what they mean. Loyalty

00:36:11.519 --> 00:36:13.360
means you've been with the company a long time

00:36:13.360 --> 00:36:16.380
and they better get on the phone. Someone larger

00:36:16.380 --> 00:36:19.039
than who you're talking to better get on the

00:36:19.039 --> 00:36:22.960
phone and straighten this out. Yeah. And this

00:36:22.960 --> 00:36:26.980
guy, after he said that, he explained to me that

00:36:26.980 --> 00:36:32.619
this person will actually be able to turn off

00:36:32.619 --> 00:36:37.820
my service on that account. Like I said, I got...

00:36:38.059 --> 00:36:40.900
Two different services right now on this number

00:36:40.900 --> 00:36:44.820
that I'm talking to right now. Yes. It depends

00:36:44.820 --> 00:36:51.039
on how strong my signal is, which is not that

00:36:51.039 --> 00:36:58.119
great here at the house. Yeah, I get poor service

00:36:58.119 --> 00:37:02.340
at the house, but I go out to my cousins where

00:37:02.340 --> 00:37:05.920
I never had service and I get good service now.

00:37:06.539 --> 00:37:09.639
Well, that's because I have a secondary and a

00:37:09.639 --> 00:37:14.159
primary service on my phone. I went into my settings

00:37:14.159 --> 00:37:19.260
and looked. Both companies were there. Wow. Every

00:37:19.260 --> 00:37:21.940
time I switched phones. Both companies have my

00:37:21.940 --> 00:37:25.340
number, but I'm paying both bills. I have two

00:37:25.340 --> 00:37:28.699
services on one phone, one number. That is so

00:37:28.699 --> 00:37:32.739
weird. And the guy at A &T, well, no, never mind.

00:37:33.139 --> 00:37:36.289
The guy at the... You're not bagging anybody.

00:37:36.690 --> 00:37:39.750
So, yeah. No, no, no, no, no, no. Especially

00:37:39.750 --> 00:37:42.190
this guy. He really helped me. He really did.

00:37:42.849 --> 00:37:46.929
He told me, he goes, yeah, there is something

00:37:46.929 --> 00:37:50.369
wrong there. Somebody dropped the ball somewhere.

00:37:50.969 --> 00:37:54.289
Yes, you're supposed to, once you enact your

00:37:54.289 --> 00:37:58.130
new phone company. That's why he told me to ask

00:37:58.130 --> 00:38:01.789
for this loyalty person. Because this person

00:38:01.789 --> 00:38:06.679
could also help me. get some of my money back.

00:38:07.260 --> 00:38:11.639
It should have been done in November. Here it

00:38:11.639 --> 00:38:13.780
is four months later. Yeah, they took a lot of

00:38:13.780 --> 00:38:18.000
money. And this person can help me recuperate

00:38:18.000 --> 00:38:22.760
some of my money. Good. Yeah, this guy was good.

00:38:23.340 --> 00:38:29.039
I was going to originally tell a story before

00:38:29.039 --> 00:38:32.980
I went into that store. And I was going to bag

00:38:32.980 --> 00:38:38.760
on him. You know what? Give him a chance to make

00:38:38.760 --> 00:38:57.139
it right. That's beyond me. He goes, same phone

00:38:57.139 --> 00:39:06.860
number? I said, yeah. not be happening wow somebody

00:39:06.860 --> 00:39:13.559
dropped the ball yeah okay well thank you all

00:39:13.559 --> 00:39:16.980
right rob that was a thank you for letting everybody

00:39:16.980 --> 00:39:19.539
know that that's really important yeah yeah yeah

00:39:19.539 --> 00:39:24.420
so watch it if you go to change phone services

00:39:24.420 --> 00:39:29.239
make sure you get a hold of customer service

00:39:29.239 --> 00:39:33.019
and make sure your old services shut off because

00:39:33.019 --> 00:39:39.099
if not And that's exactly what I've been doing.

00:39:40.159 --> 00:39:44.739
Okay. Wow. For like four months now. So, yeah.

00:39:44.820 --> 00:39:48.079
Okay. All right. Thank you, Rob. Let's take our

00:39:48.079 --> 00:39:51.360
first break and come back with a few emails.

00:39:52.840 --> 00:39:55.139
Sounds awesome. All right. Sounds great. We'll

00:39:55.139 --> 00:39:59.639
be right back. Tomorrow morning, while grinding

00:39:59.639 --> 00:40:01.880
your coffee beans for your double mocha latte,

00:40:02.139 --> 00:40:04.820
remember to not get your genitals caught in the

00:40:04.820 --> 00:40:08.010
grinder. It really hurts. And who can afford

00:40:08.010 --> 00:40:14.690
plastic surgery? Stay safe, everyone. Hey there,

00:40:14.750 --> 00:40:17.630
slap nuts. It's time for the Creeps Music News.

00:40:20.090 --> 00:40:22.789
Hey, my little pumpkin seeds. This is Johnny

00:40:22.789 --> 00:40:26.429
Rohypnol with your music news. Known asshole

00:40:26.429 --> 00:40:30.769
and constant complainer and social preaching.

00:40:31.669 --> 00:40:35.510
Hypocrite Neil Young has canceled all his 20,

00:40:35.710 --> 00:40:40.849
26 tour dates, most in the U .S. still proving,

00:40:40.929 --> 00:40:47.090
if you hate America so much, stay the fuck out

00:40:47.090 --> 00:40:52.690
of it. Bye -bye, male Felicia. This is Johnny

00:40:52.690 --> 00:40:55.869
Rohypnol. That was your music news, and remember,

00:40:56.050 --> 00:41:05.889
bar chords are bullshit. Strange, but true. In

00:41:05.889 --> 00:41:10.250
1962, President John F. Kennedy ordered 1 ,200

00:41:10.250 --> 00:41:13.250
Cuban cigars right before he made them illegal.

00:41:14.070 --> 00:41:16.050
Have you ever wondered what something is about?

00:41:16.269 --> 00:41:18.349
Have you ever looked at something and said, I

00:41:18.349 --> 00:41:21.590
wonder what the origin of that is? Well, so have

00:41:21.590 --> 00:41:26.690
we. That's why we give you The Origin Of. This

00:41:26.690 --> 00:41:30.909
is the origin of Rob Rant's loincloth. Rob used

00:41:30.909 --> 00:41:33.570
to strip in a nightclub called McCock's on the

00:41:33.570 --> 00:41:36.110
city's east side. Rob was the only completely

00:41:36.110 --> 00:41:38.829
nude dancer at the club. The other dancers were

00:41:38.829 --> 00:41:40.829
jealous of Rob making all the cash and made him

00:41:40.829 --> 00:41:43.590
use a loincloth to dance with. Rob soon had to

00:41:43.590 --> 00:41:45.989
wear his loincloth daily. He found out that he

00:41:45.989 --> 00:41:48.130
could get out of traffic tickets, sell vinyl

00:41:48.130 --> 00:41:50.449
siding, and pick up hotties at the come and go.

00:41:50.750 --> 00:41:53.050
Rob now wears his loincloth everywhere except

00:41:53.050 --> 00:41:56.469
work. Sparks plus pubic hair equals to bad things.

00:41:57.099 --> 00:41:59.300
Miss Gulkenstein was tired of Mark and Toe for

00:41:59.300 --> 00:42:01.940
making sport of her. Little did the douchebags

00:42:01.940 --> 00:42:04.820
know, Miss Gulkenstein was a voodoo high priestess

00:42:04.820 --> 00:42:08.340
when she was younger. She grew angry and cast

00:42:08.340 --> 00:42:11.400
a spell on Rob, changing Rob into a capuchin

00:42:11.400 --> 00:42:15.980
monkey. Mark took Rob to a local zoo so he could

00:42:15.980 --> 00:42:18.380
be with the other monkeys. Here are the adventures

00:42:18.380 --> 00:42:24.760
of Rob, the capuchin monkey. Shh, be very quiet.

00:42:25.530 --> 00:42:27.929
we're going to listen in as rob the capuchin

00:42:27.929 --> 00:42:30.010
monkey tries to sell the rest of the capuchin

00:42:30.010 --> 00:42:32.809
monkeys amway rob has always dreamed of becoming

00:42:32.809 --> 00:42:57.489
a diamond status amway as a capuchin monkey Little

00:42:57.489 --> 00:43:01.090
did our hero Rob know. All the great apes owned

00:43:01.090 --> 00:43:03.449
stock in Sam's Club and became violently pissed

00:43:03.449 --> 00:43:05.590
off when he tried to infringe on their territory.

00:43:06.010 --> 00:43:08.429
They promptly grabbed switches and beat his ass

00:43:08.429 --> 00:43:11.110
for three days straight. Rob could not sit down.

00:43:12.449 --> 00:43:14.869
Continuing our quest here at Two Douchebags and

00:43:14.869 --> 00:43:18.909
a Microphone to be constantly funny, once again

00:43:18.909 --> 00:43:25.920
we offer you strange insults from an alien. You

00:43:25.920 --> 00:43:28.000
always get it from your computer when your headphones

00:43:28.000 --> 00:43:31.980
still attached. Your mama's so stupid, she thought

00:43:31.980 --> 00:43:35.719
lightsabers were less calories. Now it's time

00:43:35.719 --> 00:43:39.639
for pick up lines from a loser. Hey girl, are

00:43:39.639 --> 00:43:48.619
you a beaver? Cause damn. I had a request. Yep.

00:43:49.019 --> 00:43:51.820
from my friend lona that listens to this podcast

00:43:51.820 --> 00:43:54.059
and will probably listen to this but uh anyhow

00:43:54.059 --> 00:43:56.940
some of the some she's going way back with this

00:43:56.940 --> 00:44:00.119
uh elaborate prank and i've forgotten all about

00:44:00.119 --> 00:44:02.539
it actually and there's like there's more on

00:44:02.539 --> 00:44:05.019
this level specifically that i can tell you about

00:44:05.019 --> 00:44:08.360
but this is in general this elaborate prank and

00:44:08.360 --> 00:44:12.800
anyhow it's a really really good vicious line

00:44:12.800 --> 00:44:17.190
of events Anyhow, kind of going to go into some

00:44:17.190 --> 00:44:20.130
humor now. We've done some serious stuff. But

00:44:20.130 --> 00:44:22.829
anyhow, my great buddy Davey, I think a lot of

00:44:22.829 --> 00:44:25.190
people know him. I know Davey. Oh, yeah. See?

00:44:26.210 --> 00:44:29.130
Jesse knows Davey. Three out of three. Cindy

00:44:29.130 --> 00:44:31.530
knows Davey. Four out of four. Val knows Davey.

00:44:31.590 --> 00:44:33.809
Five out of five. Okay. Well, everybody in the

00:44:33.809 --> 00:44:36.250
whole world knows him, evidently. So, anyhow.

00:44:36.469 --> 00:44:39.969
You know, when we were teenagers, every summer

00:44:39.969 --> 00:44:43.059
his parents would go to Truman Lake. And they'd

00:44:43.059 --> 00:44:46.179
take their camper there, and they'd be gone pretty

00:44:46.179 --> 00:44:49.860
much from Memorial weekend to Labor Day weekend.

00:44:50.079 --> 00:44:52.699
So, you know, a good two -and -a -half -month

00:44:52.699 --> 00:44:55.780
stretch, something like that. But sometimes it

00:44:55.780 --> 00:44:57.599
was stretching to three, depending on how they

00:44:57.599 --> 00:45:01.119
felt, you know. And so, anyhow, this meant one

00:45:01.119 --> 00:45:06.820
thing. Party house. Yeah. So, anyhow, you know,

00:45:06.920 --> 00:45:11.489
Davey and I had some... evil tricks that we'd

00:45:11.489 --> 00:45:14.050
like to play on the people, you know. The people

00:45:14.050 --> 00:45:16.130
that all partied at the house for a while, they

00:45:16.130 --> 00:45:18.710
were all in on the gag because they probably

00:45:18.710 --> 00:45:21.610
had it happen to them before. Yeah. So, you know,

00:45:21.650 --> 00:45:24.789
so anyhow, you know, they were a victim at one

00:45:24.789 --> 00:45:27.070
point, and then after they got through with the

00:45:27.070 --> 00:45:30.630
hurt and the embarrassment and the bruises, they

00:45:30.630 --> 00:45:32.869
were like, okay, all right, well, it's time for

00:45:32.869 --> 00:45:34.710
someone else. So, you know, new guys that would

00:45:34.710 --> 00:45:37.190
come to the house. didn't know about this but

00:45:37.190 --> 00:45:39.090
the people that were there for a while they knew

00:45:39.090 --> 00:45:42.250
they knew they were safe so uh anyhow one of

00:45:42.250 --> 00:45:43.829
the things that we would do is you know we'd

00:45:43.829 --> 00:45:46.449
all be getting trashed but anyone that wasn't

00:45:46.449 --> 00:45:49.070
at davey's house before would not know this there

00:45:49.070 --> 00:45:52.110
was a refrigerator in the back room that contained

00:45:52.110 --> 00:45:55.730
all the sodas all the dr peppers all the cokes

00:45:55.730 --> 00:45:59.760
all that you know the sprites what have you Dr.

00:45:59.800 --> 00:46:02.780
Peppers were all in the back. Yeah, and the front

00:46:02.780 --> 00:46:05.440
fridge was full of useful stuff like food and

00:46:05.440 --> 00:46:08.920
stuff like that. Okay So anyhow, you know, we'd

00:46:08.920 --> 00:46:13.139
all be getting smashed and anyhow You know someone

00:46:13.139 --> 00:46:17.000
would wake up and they'd be parched So they would

00:46:17.000 --> 00:46:19.079
look for something that they could drink and

00:46:19.079 --> 00:46:20.940
also have caffeine. We didn't believe in coffee

00:46:20.940 --> 00:46:24.719
back then Coffee didn't exist. It was all soda

00:46:24.719 --> 00:46:27.980
pop. Yep. So what we do is we would take a can

00:46:27.980 --> 00:46:31.760
of soda And we would open it up and drink it

00:46:31.760 --> 00:46:35.059
or throw it out or whatever. Probably drink it,

00:46:35.099 --> 00:46:37.719
most likely. We weren't that stupid. And we would

00:46:37.719 --> 00:46:42.679
piss in it. So we would take this can of open

00:46:42.679 --> 00:46:46.239
Dr. Pepper, let's say. And with all the content

00:46:46.239 --> 00:46:48.800
gone, we would piss in it. And then we'd stick

00:46:48.800 --> 00:46:51.440
it back in the fridge. Ouch. Well, like I said,

00:46:51.519 --> 00:46:52.699
the people that have been there for a while,

00:46:52.800 --> 00:46:56.369
they knew about it. The new people did not. Don't

00:46:56.369 --> 00:46:59.329
drink from the front fridge. Drink from the back

00:46:59.329 --> 00:47:00.889
fridge. Well, if people have been there for a

00:47:00.889 --> 00:47:02.949
while, they'll be like, uh -uh -uh. I ain't getting

00:47:02.949 --> 00:47:06.269
this one right here. Uh -uh -uh. Oh, my God.

00:47:06.769 --> 00:47:09.269
I'm going to go get this one in the back room.

00:47:09.489 --> 00:47:14.210
So, anyhow, you know, it would usually end up

00:47:14.210 --> 00:47:17.750
like this. We'd hear a scream and some cussing

00:47:17.750 --> 00:47:20.730
and some threats and stuff like that. And then

00:47:20.730 --> 00:47:24.329
we'd come down there, and no one would know who

00:47:24.329 --> 00:47:27.320
did it. We're like, what? Are you fucking joking

00:47:27.320 --> 00:47:30.699
me? And then, you know, go over there. If they

00:47:30.699 --> 00:47:32.739
didn't, like, throw it against the wall or something,

00:47:32.880 --> 00:47:37.199
smell it. Oh, my God, it is piss. Hey, we're

00:47:37.199 --> 00:47:38.780
going to find out who did this, man. I'm sorry.

00:47:40.859 --> 00:47:43.219
You can already make excuses like, well, old

00:47:43.219 --> 00:47:45.599
man, I was collecting a urine sample for my dog.

00:47:45.699 --> 00:47:47.860
I've got to take him to the vet later. I'm so

00:47:47.860 --> 00:47:49.559
sorry. I should have marked this. The only thing

00:47:49.559 --> 00:47:52.940
I had was a Dr. Pepper can. And you happened

00:47:52.940 --> 00:47:54.739
to be the first sucker that wasn't in on the

00:47:54.739 --> 00:47:56.980
conversation. You know how tough it was to get

00:47:56.980 --> 00:47:59.019
that dog to pee into that Dr. Pepper can? Now

00:47:59.019 --> 00:48:02.500
it's ruined. And it had to be a day old. My dog's

00:48:02.500 --> 00:48:05.039
going to die because you drank his piss. Well,

00:48:05.039 --> 00:48:08.380
anyhow. So you drink the dog's piss and the dog

00:48:08.380 --> 00:48:12.019
dies. That's pretty bad. Yeah. I can't get the

00:48:12.019 --> 00:48:14.340
sample to the vet in time and he's deathly ill.

00:48:14.400 --> 00:48:26.099
Thanks a lot, fuckface. Microphone. I am Mark.

00:48:26.219 --> 00:48:30.480
Here in the Kansas City chapter of this program

00:48:30.480 --> 00:48:40.780
at the Talk is Cheap studio. And I am Rob in

00:48:40.780 --> 00:48:46.639
Wheatland, Missouri, population 371, home of

00:48:46.639 --> 00:48:49.980
the magnificent Rictus Hole Speedway and Water

00:48:49.980 --> 00:48:54.360
Track, and also home of Hickam Oak Country Store,

00:48:54.579 --> 00:48:57.260
where you can find all your needs, including

00:48:57.260 --> 00:49:04.740
a selfie with the green St. Clair dinosaur. studio.

00:49:04.740 --> 00:49:08.719
Alright, thank you, Rob. Got some emails. I'm

00:49:08.719 --> 00:49:12.099
not as tired tonight. I had an easy day. No,

00:49:12.139 --> 00:49:15.219
the other night, dude, you sounded pathetic.

00:49:15.300 --> 00:49:18.659
Yeah, Monday night, yeah. I felt bad for you.

00:49:19.599 --> 00:49:24.480
Yeah, well. Alright, the first one. Rob, have

00:49:24.480 --> 00:49:29.519
you ever eaten squirrel meat? Oh, I love squirrel

00:49:29.519 --> 00:49:44.820
meat. And I've been on my cousin and my wife.

00:49:45.659 --> 00:49:51.340
Okay, Princess never ate squirrel. Okay. So,

00:49:51.360 --> 00:49:55.480
yeah, squirrel is really good. I've heard that

00:49:55.480 --> 00:49:57.679
it has a nutty taste because it eats a lot of

00:49:57.679 --> 00:50:02.039
nuts. Yes, yeah, it's very good. You have the

00:50:02.039 --> 00:50:05.320
young ones that are tender because the older

00:50:05.320 --> 00:50:08.239
ones are all tough and muscly is the other thing

00:50:08.239 --> 00:50:10.360
that I heard. Right, yeah, yeah. It's just like

00:50:10.360 --> 00:50:14.900
deer. It's like cows. Same thing. You don't want

00:50:14.900 --> 00:50:19.139
the older type of one. Well, this email goes

00:50:19.139 --> 00:50:22.400
on. This email goes on. I have 10 of those tree

00:50:22.400 --> 00:50:25.780
rats ready for smoking. Mitch and Freeman, Rob's

00:50:25.780 --> 00:50:33.059
bestie and mentor. Oh, dude! Yes! No, seriously.

00:50:33.300 --> 00:50:37.659
I just bought it. Two different .22 rifles. I'm

00:50:37.659 --> 00:50:40.039
ready to go use this Corolla. No wonder Mitch

00:50:40.039 --> 00:50:44.559
likes you so much better. Geez. I get it. I get

00:50:44.559 --> 00:50:55.110
it. No, actually... Mitch made peace with me.

00:50:55.170 --> 00:50:57.389
He said he never did hate me. He sent me an email

00:50:57.389 --> 00:51:00.030
just for me. And he said, I never did hate you,

00:51:00.050 --> 00:51:03.630
dude. He's just giving me shit. Yeah, yeah. But

00:51:03.630 --> 00:51:05.989
he said he did remember the car incident very

00:51:05.989 --> 00:51:08.170
well. He said he's still embarrassed by that.

00:51:08.989 --> 00:51:12.650
Thank you, Mitch. Thank you, Mitch. All right,

00:51:12.750 --> 00:51:15.909
the next one. Yeah, Mitch, squirrels, awesome.

00:51:16.489 --> 00:51:18.710
Well, there you go, Mitch. You and Rob need to

00:51:18.710 --> 00:51:22.530
get together and eat some squirrels. I'm itching

00:51:22.530 --> 00:51:27.739
for some. He says he has 10 of them. He says

00:51:27.739 --> 00:51:29.480
he has 10 of them. I don't think he's lying.

00:51:29.639 --> 00:51:33.780
I think he'd probably be, you know. If he's up

00:51:33.780 --> 00:51:38.300
around there, wait a second. Where did he say

00:51:38.300 --> 00:51:41.360
he was at? He didn't. He said, oh, wait a minute.

00:51:41.380 --> 00:51:44.699
He did. Mitch and Freeman, Rob's bestie. I thought

00:51:44.699 --> 00:51:51.699
he was moving. All right. Mitch, when you hear

00:51:51.699 --> 00:51:55.039
this. please reply and let us know what's going

00:51:55.039 --> 00:51:59.860
on. Yeah, reply. If you want us to, we'll keep

00:51:59.860 --> 00:52:02.400
it off the air. Yeah, yeah, whatever you want.

00:52:02.619 --> 00:52:05.559
We want to know where you're at because I don't

00:52:05.559 --> 00:52:08.039
want me making a trip up there. There you go,

00:52:08.059 --> 00:52:10.679
Mitch. If you're in Freeman and you're not joking

00:52:10.679 --> 00:52:14.340
around, then yeah. All right. All right, the

00:52:14.340 --> 00:52:17.159
next one. Dudes, did any of you catch the Grammys

00:52:17.159 --> 00:52:20.190
tribute to Ozzy? I thought it was good, especially

00:52:20.190 --> 00:52:23.090
of Post Malone singing in the place of his good

00:52:23.090 --> 00:52:27.849
friend Ozzy, Terrence in Utah. Yeah, I saw it.

00:52:27.869 --> 00:52:32.449
Did you, Rob? No, I have not had a chance to

00:52:32.449 --> 00:52:35.650
catch it yet. Okay, I thought it was really good.

00:52:36.489 --> 00:52:41.199
I got really busy. No, I understand. I love Post

00:52:41.199 --> 00:52:43.320
Malone singing. I think they did a really good

00:52:43.320 --> 00:52:45.599
job, all of them. It was Slash, Duff McKagan,

00:52:45.760 --> 00:52:48.980
Chad Smith from the Chili Peppers drumming. Oh,

00:52:49.099 --> 00:52:53.800
Andrew Watt on guitar. And anyhow, they did a

00:52:53.800 --> 00:52:57.800
great job of it, but they played War Pigs. I

00:52:57.800 --> 00:53:01.880
thought that was a very odd song to tribute Ozzy

00:53:01.880 --> 00:53:04.360
to. Number one, that's Sabbath, not Ozzy. And

00:53:04.360 --> 00:53:09.159
number two, War Pigs? A lot of people felt like

00:53:09.159 --> 00:53:10.519
me. They're like, man, there'd been a better

00:53:10.519 --> 00:53:14.260
suited song. Now, Youngblood, doing the tribute

00:53:14.260 --> 00:53:17.940
to Ozzy, he's a younger kind of outlandish guy

00:53:17.940 --> 00:53:20.679
from England that's good friends with Ozzy, and

00:53:20.679 --> 00:53:23.119
they worshiped him pretty much. He did a great

00:53:23.119 --> 00:53:25.380
job with changes. Yeah, what did you say, Rob?

00:53:25.519 --> 00:53:31.099
Well, I was just going to add, I was watching

00:53:31.099 --> 00:53:37.039
that scene right before Ozzy died and Youngblood

00:53:37.039 --> 00:53:40.460
and all that. because Prentiss is a big Youngblood

00:53:40.460 --> 00:53:46.420
fan. I like him, too. Oh, I do, too. Ozzy pretty

00:53:46.420 --> 00:53:49.219
much handed the torch to Youngblood. He did.

00:53:49.360 --> 00:53:52.679
He did. If you look at it. Yes, no, he did. If

00:53:52.679 --> 00:53:57.059
you look at everything. No, I agree. He did.

00:53:57.219 --> 00:54:01.659
Oh, yeah. Very much so. All right. Next one.

00:54:01.760 --> 00:54:04.059
Mark, what airlines are the top three in your

00:54:04.059 --> 00:54:06.280
opinion? I'm tired of Southwest and will never

00:54:06.280 --> 00:54:08.960
fly them again. Then maybe the worst three if

00:54:08.960 --> 00:54:11.699
you have time. Thank you, Rossington in Texas.

00:54:12.280 --> 00:54:15.679
P .S. Going somewhere tropical soon, I will buy

00:54:15.679 --> 00:54:19.260
Wi -Fi to listen to you at 30 ,000 feet. I did

00:54:19.260 --> 00:54:22.159
too. I bought Wi -Fi to listen to us at 30 ,000

00:54:22.159 --> 00:54:24.480
feet. And I listened to us on a cruise ship too.

00:54:24.679 --> 00:54:28.940
I bought Wi -Fi. Oh, I even did a podcast from

00:54:28.940 --> 00:54:36.019
a cruise ship. Yeah, you do. Yep. Okay, Rossington,

00:54:36.119 --> 00:54:39.380
I will do both of those lists for you because

00:54:39.380 --> 00:54:44.380
it's you, Rossington. Okay, my top three, number

00:54:44.380 --> 00:54:46.940
one's Alaskan. That's the best one I've ever

00:54:46.940 --> 00:54:50.420
been on. Number two would probably be United.

00:54:51.280 --> 00:54:55.539
And number three, Delta. The only thing I don't

00:54:55.539 --> 00:54:57.280
like about Delta is they run you through Atlanta

00:54:57.280 --> 00:54:59.579
too much, and I hate that airport. Hartsfield

00:54:59.579 --> 00:55:03.440
-Jackson Airport is horrible. It's so huge, and

00:55:03.440 --> 00:55:06.679
everything's just clustered. So those are my

00:55:06.679 --> 00:55:11.440
top three. United, I had a really good experience

00:55:11.440 --> 00:55:15.750
with them. I was in Delaware, me and a workmate,

00:55:15.889 --> 00:55:18.250
and they had to send us to Orlando the next morning,

00:55:18.309 --> 00:55:20.969
just impromptu. Had to happen. The people are

00:55:20.969 --> 00:55:22.409
down there bitching, and we had to go to the

00:55:22.409 --> 00:55:26.769
school and do some repair work. So the only place

00:55:26.769 --> 00:55:30.010
they had on this flight to Orlando that early

00:55:30.010 --> 00:55:33.070
in the morning was the very first two first -class

00:55:33.070 --> 00:55:36.769
seats. So they had to buy them. So me and Brian,

00:55:36.889 --> 00:55:38.409
the guy I work with, were like, hey, this is

00:55:38.409 --> 00:55:41.619
cool front seat, right? We sit down. And then

00:55:41.619 --> 00:55:43.599
the lady goes to us, would you like a beverage

00:55:43.599 --> 00:55:46.179
and a sandwich? Well, Brian said no. And I said,

00:55:46.219 --> 00:55:49.639
huh, you know what? Hell yeah. So I didn't know

00:55:49.639 --> 00:55:51.500
this, but when people are boarding, she stops

00:55:51.500 --> 00:55:55.320
everybody and gets my food and drink. Oh, they

00:55:55.320 --> 00:55:57.659
were pissed. I had no idea she was going to do

00:55:57.659 --> 00:56:01.880
that. She made everybody stop boarding. To give

00:56:01.880 --> 00:56:04.380
me my food and drink. And everyone's giving me

00:56:04.380 --> 00:56:06.659
dirty looks like, you motherfucker. You could

00:56:06.659 --> 00:56:08.840
have waited until we boarded. I had no idea she

00:56:08.840 --> 00:56:10.780
was going to do that. Oh, everybody's looking

00:56:10.780 --> 00:56:13.000
at me like an asshole. And then the bottom three.

00:56:13.199 --> 00:56:15.619
Number one is spirit. The worst one. Number two

00:56:15.619 --> 00:56:19.539
might be southwest. And number three would be

00:56:19.539 --> 00:56:24.059
American to me. A legion I hear is horrible,

00:56:24.159 --> 00:56:25.960
but I've never flew a legion, but I know a lot

00:56:25.960 --> 00:56:27.579
of people that swear they'll never do it again.

00:56:27.780 --> 00:56:30.260
So I don't know quite on that. That's not my

00:56:30.260 --> 00:56:32.679
experience. That's other people. So, Rossington,

00:56:32.820 --> 00:56:35.539
thank you. There you go. Hey, guys. Thank you,

00:56:35.559 --> 00:56:40.039
Rossington. Yep. He always has good, he has great

00:56:40.039 --> 00:56:43.940
questions, doesn't he? Oh, he is. Yeah, he is.

00:56:44.239 --> 00:56:50.780
He is smart, you can tell by the way he works

00:56:50.780 --> 00:56:55.400
things. The questions he asks. Yeah. He's not

00:56:55.400 --> 00:56:59.300
the average Joe. I know where he lives, too.

00:56:59.440 --> 00:57:01.860
He lives over near Mesquite in Dallas, and I

00:57:01.860 --> 00:57:05.619
love that area, too. There's a huge lake over

00:57:05.619 --> 00:57:10.480
there. Anyhow, he's a cool guy. All right. Hey,

00:57:10.519 --> 00:57:13.199
guys. This is Kelly again. I was wanting to know

00:57:13.199 --> 00:57:15.980
what software you all use to process and record

00:57:15.980 --> 00:57:18.760
the podcast. I'm interested in doing a podcast

00:57:18.760 --> 00:57:25.760
myself. Kelly, Do you remember Kelly? Yeah, yeah,

00:57:25.780 --> 00:57:30.239
yeah. I think I do remember a Kelly emailing

00:57:30.239 --> 00:57:33.059
before. But anyhow, all right. Kelly, thank you.

00:57:33.099 --> 00:57:38.760
It might be just that we have so many and we've

00:57:38.760 --> 00:57:41.480
got busy lives. I've got so much on my mind.

00:57:41.579 --> 00:57:45.900
Well, Kelly, thank you. I forget a lot. Kelly,

00:57:45.940 --> 00:57:48.960
thank you. Besides my wife. I do, too, all the

00:57:48.960 --> 00:57:54.679
time. Kelly, thank you. Okay. And thank you for,

00:57:54.679 --> 00:57:58.059
you know, being a part of this and, and writing

00:57:58.059 --> 00:58:01.880
in and taking the time. Okay. If it's window

00:58:01.880 --> 00:58:05.400
based, it's audio tonic. If it's not window based,

00:58:05.400 --> 00:58:06.940
I'm talking about your computer. You know, you

00:58:06.940 --> 00:58:09.639
need a microphone, of course. Okay. You need,

00:58:09.679 --> 00:58:12.860
you need a microphone. You probably need headphones.

00:58:14.010 --> 00:58:18.409
And although headphones are not mandatory, you

00:58:18.409 --> 00:58:20.849
can get by without them, but headphones are good

00:58:20.849 --> 00:58:23.070
because you can hear other noises and maybe shut

00:58:23.070 --> 00:58:26.849
them down a little bit. Yeah, the noise cancellation

00:58:26.849 --> 00:58:32.429
definitely helps. Just like with the way I do

00:58:32.429 --> 00:58:37.130
it, the way we do ours, I'm using my cell phone

00:58:37.130 --> 00:58:41.750
and AirPods. But my ear pods are noise cancellation,

00:58:41.849 --> 00:58:46.170
so I can hear everything going on. You guys can't

00:58:46.170 --> 00:58:51.789
hear much behind me, which right now I'm upstairs

00:58:51.789 --> 00:58:54.730
in the studio. There is nothing going on behind

00:58:54.730 --> 00:59:00.590
me. Okay. All right. And if it's not window -based,

00:59:00.789 --> 00:59:02.510
you know, you have your mic and your computer,

00:59:02.550 --> 00:59:05.409
and if it's not window -based, it is called Audacity.

00:59:05.690 --> 00:59:09.500
So Audacity non -window -based. Window -based

00:59:09.500 --> 00:59:12.719
has to be Audio Tonic because Audacity does not

00:59:12.719 --> 00:59:15.980
work with Windows. So if you go to download it

00:59:15.980 --> 00:59:19.400
and you have Windows like I do, you go to Audio

00:59:19.400 --> 00:59:22.219
Tonic, which is rebuilt for Windows. So there

00:59:22.219 --> 00:59:25.000
you go. Either one of those two is what I use.

00:59:25.159 --> 00:59:29.219
And if it's my laptop, I use Audacity because

00:59:29.219 --> 00:59:31.940
it's not window -based. If it's my main home

00:59:31.940 --> 00:59:37.550
computer, my desktop, then that would be... audio

00:59:37.550 --> 00:59:40.949
tonic because it's window windows based all right

00:59:40.949 --> 00:59:43.550
uh next one mark have you seen recent pictures

00:59:43.550 --> 00:59:47.210
of trent resnor of nine inch nails he's unrecognizable

00:59:47.210 --> 00:59:51.730
terry in omaha yeah he he's he he doesn't have

00:59:51.730 --> 00:59:54.170
issues anymore he worked through them all and

00:59:54.170 --> 01:00:00.110
now he likes to eat that's it he grew up he grew

01:00:00.110 --> 01:00:02.690
up now he's like into watching movies and eating

01:00:02.690 --> 01:00:07.489
popcorn god bless him good for him Yeah, he's

01:00:07.489 --> 01:00:09.929
living a good life now. Yeah, yeah. Before he

01:00:09.929 --> 01:00:12.389
was pissed off and brooding, he got through it.

01:00:12.389 --> 01:00:14.289
He got through it. So I think that's awesome.

01:00:15.389 --> 01:00:18.110
Yeah, he doesn't look anything like he used to,

01:00:18.250 --> 01:00:22.389
and that's fine. All right. Finally, Mark, how

01:00:22.389 --> 01:00:25.369
do you get blood stains out of socks? Ask him

01:00:25.369 --> 01:00:27.489
for a friend. Donnie in Wisconsin. I forgot about

01:00:27.489 --> 01:00:30.530
that one. I think I would just burn him. What

01:00:30.530 --> 01:00:35.559
about you? Burn. Burn. There you go. Alright,

01:00:35.659 --> 01:00:41.139
Rob, I think you might... You can buy like six,

01:00:41.300 --> 01:00:46.119
eight pair Dollar General for ten bucks. Yes,

01:00:46.119 --> 01:00:48.420
and if you're wondering, no, we're not going

01:00:48.420 --> 01:00:50.420
to ask how you got blood on your socks. Ain't

01:00:50.420 --> 01:00:52.679
worth it. Nope. Just saying, ain't worth it.

01:00:52.860 --> 01:00:56.440
We don't care how you got blood on your socks.

01:00:56.579 --> 01:00:58.360
We're just going to assume you cut your socks.

01:00:58.420 --> 01:01:00.320
I don't care if this answers your question. That's

01:01:00.320 --> 01:01:02.219
all. We don't need to know anything else. We

01:01:02.219 --> 01:01:04.119
don't need to pray. Dollar General, Walmart.

01:01:04.840 --> 01:01:07.940
Anywhere that sells socks. There you go. Buy

01:01:07.940 --> 01:01:11.960
the cheap ones. Buy the cheap ones. And a lighter.

01:01:12.519 --> 01:01:16.539
Yes, and a lighter. All right, Rob, let's turn

01:01:16.539 --> 01:01:18.119
this over to you. I think you might have a little

01:01:18.119 --> 01:01:19.940
bit of bag of garbage or something going on today.

01:01:20.920 --> 01:01:27.000
Yeah, guess what? I do. I have a new Sonic bag.

01:01:27.440 --> 01:01:31.989
All right. Yay. Unfortunately, I don't have much

01:01:31.989 --> 01:01:35.809
time to fill it, so I have one tonight. Rob,

01:01:35.849 --> 01:01:37.869
we will take any bag of garbage you will give

01:01:37.869 --> 01:01:41.090
us and be happy with it. Actually, this is a

01:01:41.090 --> 01:01:45.730
pretty good one. Okay. I like this one. Okay.

01:01:46.809 --> 01:01:52.309
Nathan Nearest Green. That's his nickname, Nearest.

01:01:53.429 --> 01:01:58.119
Okay. was born in Tennessee and became known

01:01:58.119 --> 01:02:03.039
locally for his exceptional skill in making whiskey

01:02:03.039 --> 01:02:07.320
long before it was a formal industry. Working

01:02:07.320 --> 01:02:12.539
on a small farm near Lynchburg, he mastered the

01:02:12.539 --> 01:02:17.340
full process from mashing and fermentation to

01:02:17.340 --> 01:02:23.760
distillation. However the hell you say it. Distilling?

01:02:24.809 --> 01:02:30.750
Oh, well. Yeah, but it's distillation. Okay,

01:02:30.789 --> 01:02:33.030
just say distilling and people know what you're

01:02:33.030 --> 01:02:34.829
talking about. Yeah, distilling. Yeah, there

01:02:34.829 --> 01:02:37.909
you go. Okay. They make it harder, shouldn't

01:02:37.909 --> 01:02:40.849
they? Yeah, sometimes writers get ahead of themselves.

01:02:42.170 --> 01:02:47.150
And charcoal milling. A young Jack Daniels was

01:02:47.150 --> 01:02:52.210
placed under his guidance. And it was Green who

01:02:52.210 --> 01:02:56.360
taught him the craft. in a hands -on practical

01:02:56.360 --> 01:03:00.539
way that only years of experience can provide

01:03:00.539 --> 01:03:07.780
after emancipation green officially took on the

01:03:07.780 --> 01:03:12.420
role he had already been performing he became

01:03:12.420 --> 01:03:16.739
the first master distiller at the jack daniel

01:03:16.739 --> 01:03:21.780
distillery overseeing production and maintaining

01:03:21.780 --> 01:03:27.170
quality As the operation expanded, the charcoal

01:03:27.170 --> 01:03:30.929
filtering method he refined later became known

01:03:30.929 --> 01:03:37.389
as the Lincoln County Process, a defining feature

01:03:37.389 --> 01:03:41.369
of Tennessee whiskey that remains in use today.

01:03:41.829 --> 01:03:47.150
Despite this, his role was largely absent from

01:03:47.150 --> 01:03:52.380
the brand's public story from generations. Green's

01:03:52.380 --> 01:03:56.440
influence continued through his family. His son

01:03:56.440 --> 01:04:00.760
George also became a distiller, and several descendants

01:04:00.760 --> 01:04:07.280
went on to work at the same distillery well into

01:04:07.280 --> 01:04:12.820
the 1900s. Today, Nearest Green is widely recognized

01:04:12.820 --> 01:04:17.699
as the godfather of Tennessee whiskey, a title

01:04:17.699 --> 01:04:22.000
rooted in skill and legacy rather than symbolism.

01:04:22.639 --> 01:04:26.719
The story changes how the history of American

01:04:26.719 --> 01:04:37.280
whiskey is understood. That's not something that

01:04:37.280 --> 01:04:40.519
I did not know. That's what I like about this

01:04:40.519 --> 01:04:43.880
Rob's Bag of Garbage. It could be something informative.

01:04:44.179 --> 01:04:47.579
It could be something off the wall. You never

01:04:47.579 --> 01:04:50.159
know. Well, I really enjoyed that because that

01:04:50.159 --> 01:04:53.679
stuff interests me. How did the young Jack Daniels

01:04:53.679 --> 01:04:56.079
get his start? Yeah, that's fucking cool. Yeah,

01:04:56.079 --> 01:05:02.820
yeah. The way this spread out, the man that really

01:05:02.820 --> 01:05:08.260
taught Jack Daniels ended up working for him.

01:05:08.619 --> 01:05:13.760
Yeah. Yeah, that's cooler than hell. Only because

01:05:13.760 --> 01:05:18.619
of the time period. We'll see. That's kind of

01:05:18.619 --> 01:05:20.980
like the man that invented burnt ends ended up

01:05:20.980 --> 01:05:25.019
working for, I think, maybe his Gates or Bryant's,

01:05:25.019 --> 01:05:28.599
something like that. Yeah. Interesting. All right.

01:05:28.599 --> 01:05:35.579
Thank you, Rob. I have an article here that I

01:05:35.579 --> 01:05:38.019
want to get to, but I also have a Jeffy X list

01:05:38.019 --> 01:05:43.380
afterwards. So, Jeffy X is back in business helping

01:05:43.380 --> 01:05:45.980
us. And, yeah, there is going to be some ass

01:05:45.980 --> 01:05:49.539
paddlings. So, please, you know who you are.

01:05:49.639 --> 01:05:52.780
Calm down. Calm down. There's going to be some

01:05:52.780 --> 01:05:57.539
ass paddlings. Oh, my God. Yeah. Oh, I forgot

01:05:57.539 --> 01:06:01.260
about those. I need some right now. I promise

01:06:01.260 --> 01:06:04.199
ass paddlings. And if you have any nominees,

01:06:04.480 --> 01:06:12.320
Rob, let me know off of this show. Oh, God. okay

01:06:12.320 --> 01:06:14.500
okay we're gonna have you some ass paddlings

01:06:14.500 --> 01:06:18.780
whoever you are johnny and op even though his

01:06:18.780 --> 01:06:22.119
name's not johnny yes johnny i'm gonna have johnny

01:06:22.119 --> 01:06:26.099
okay all right we got it johnny just for you

01:06:26.099 --> 01:06:28.960
yeah overland park's not that far i'll come over

01:06:28.960 --> 01:06:33.000
there no no no no i love johnny he's awesome

01:06:33.000 --> 01:06:36.440
even though his name's not johnny all right he'd

01:06:36.440 --> 01:06:39.119
come over your house and whip your ass oh hell

01:06:39.119 --> 01:06:44.630
yeah yeah No, Johnny is a guy that reminds me

01:06:44.630 --> 01:06:48.789
of stuff I forgot about constantly. He's like

01:06:48.789 --> 01:06:52.449
a historian of me. It's crazy. Yeah, I'm two

01:06:52.449 --> 01:06:58.110
and a half hours away. Yeah, you'll get me. All

01:06:58.110 --> 01:07:01.590
right. An Idaho man found a live alligator under

01:07:01.590 --> 01:07:05.489
his bed on January 23rd. He was very confused

01:07:05.489 --> 01:07:08.239
and afraid. The alligator was three foot long,

01:07:08.300 --> 01:07:10.900
but was still capable of taking a hand or foot

01:07:10.900 --> 01:07:15.579
off. Jonathan Headley of Kuna, Idaho, I think

01:07:15.579 --> 01:07:19.199
that's Boise area, a suburb of Boise, okay, all

01:07:19.199 --> 01:07:22.440
right, was shook up as he called police who originally

01:07:22.440 --> 01:07:25.639
thought the man was on drugs. The officers responded

01:07:25.639 --> 01:07:27.880
to his residence to actually find a three foot

01:07:27.880 --> 01:07:31.920
alligator in the man's living room. Animal control

01:07:31.920 --> 01:07:34.440
arrived and coaxed the animal into a cage and

01:07:34.440 --> 01:07:38.059
was transported to the Boise Zoo for rehabbing

01:07:38.059 --> 01:07:40.699
and probably will be kept in their tropical swamp

01:07:40.699 --> 01:07:43.860
area. The zoo had just lost their older alligator

01:07:43.860 --> 01:07:47.940
named Frankie. The only explanation as to how

01:07:47.940 --> 01:07:51.099
this large lizard got into the man's home is

01:07:51.099 --> 01:07:54.320
he had his toilet stool removed and was awaiting

01:07:54.320 --> 01:07:57.510
a new stool. Authorities believe the reptile

01:07:57.510 --> 01:08:00.329
scaled through the sewer pipes and made his way

01:08:00.329 --> 01:08:02.809
into the pipe and hole in his bathroom floor.

01:08:05.309 --> 01:08:09.369
Mr. Headley said I would have needed a defibrillator

01:08:09.369 --> 01:08:13.130
to bring me back. I would have been his first

01:08:13.130 --> 01:08:17.210
meal in this new home. Unless he got a mouse

01:08:17.210 --> 01:08:19.869
or a house pet before I found it. But somehow

01:08:19.869 --> 01:08:24.149
I managed to calm down and call authorities outside

01:08:24.149 --> 01:08:31.430
of my... house so anyhow so yeah so so the the

01:08:31.430 --> 01:08:34.569
smaller alligator that was still growing was

01:08:34.569 --> 01:08:37.170
big enough to take off a hand or foot but he

01:08:37.170 --> 01:08:39.930
is also small enough to crawl up that pipe and

01:08:39.930 --> 01:08:43.489
get into his house would you just not shit would

01:08:43.489 --> 01:08:48.680
you be like what I guess he probably heard something

01:08:48.680 --> 01:08:50.500
under his bed and looked under there and saw

01:08:50.500 --> 01:08:52.380
the red eyes and was like, oh, shit, what is

01:08:52.380 --> 01:08:54.859
that? Because alligators at night, their eyes

01:08:54.859 --> 01:08:58.020
are red. I would need something bigger than my

01:08:58.020 --> 01:09:03.779
22. Yes. Yeah, alligators' eyes at night are

01:09:03.779 --> 01:09:05.260
red, and that's how you know it's an alligator.

01:09:05.359 --> 01:09:09.920
Yeah. All right, well, because that Jeffy X has

01:09:09.920 --> 01:09:13.380
a list. And Jeffy X is our sleuth that uncovers

01:09:13.380 --> 01:09:16.239
all these product ideas that didn't happen and

01:09:16.239 --> 01:09:18.659
all these things that didn't happen because they

01:09:18.659 --> 01:09:20.939
put focus groups to him and nobody liked him.

01:09:21.220 --> 01:09:23.680
Now, he's been threatened. He's been shot out.

01:09:23.720 --> 01:09:25.659
Everything. People, you know, these corporations

01:09:25.659 --> 01:09:27.279
want to get him because they don't want their

01:09:27.279 --> 01:09:30.239
secret stuff out. But he works for us and he

01:09:30.239 --> 01:09:32.560
loves us. And Rob made him a bunch of stuff like

01:09:32.560 --> 01:09:36.399
a Jeffy X underwear with an X on the Jeffy on

01:09:36.399 --> 01:09:39.699
the back and X on the front with a Steven Pearcy

01:09:39.699 --> 01:09:44.050
pouch. sewn in which is a the glam band rat supposedly

01:09:44.050 --> 01:09:47.029
he had a pouch sewn in the inside of his spandex

01:09:47.029 --> 01:09:49.789
and he stuffed socks in there to look better

01:09:49.789 --> 01:09:54.689
and then you made him a flying bat suit and seven

01:09:54.689 --> 01:09:57.489
one for each day of the week sergeant pepper

01:09:57.489 --> 01:10:01.949
outfits for him he's a huge beatles fan me i'm

01:10:01.949 --> 01:10:05.470
a simple guy i gave him 2500 bucks for hookers

01:10:05.470 --> 01:10:09.250
and blow or to buy his mom something nice and

01:10:09.250 --> 01:10:11.529
I don't know what he did, and I don't care. So,

01:10:11.550 --> 01:10:15.449
all right, Jeffy X list. The first one, a Ziploc

01:10:15.449 --> 01:10:18.649
bag labeled, do not open. This is found under

01:10:18.649 --> 01:10:23.529
your mom's bed. Okay, you get the correlation

01:10:23.529 --> 01:10:27.949
here? Under his bed? This is things that you

01:10:27.949 --> 01:10:30.069
find under a bed, and it doesn't have to be your

01:10:30.069 --> 01:10:31.909
mom's. I just added that. It could be things

01:10:31.909 --> 01:10:35.789
found underneath a bed. A 2003 flip phone that

01:10:35.789 --> 01:10:40.430
still has 47 unread texts. A shoebox full of

01:10:40.430 --> 01:10:46.289
expired coupons, just in case. One single orthopedic

01:10:46.289 --> 01:10:52.189
shoe with no mate of its anywhere. A stack of

01:10:52.189 --> 01:10:57.170
handwritten... Do what? I see that one. Yes,

01:10:57.170 --> 01:11:01.989
me too. I know a lot of older people. Yeah, the

01:11:01.989 --> 01:11:06.189
shoes do get away from you. This is true. A stack

01:11:06.189 --> 01:11:08.560
of handwritten notes that all start with... if

01:11:08.560 --> 01:11:13.619
something happens to me. Okay. Yeah, I know,

01:11:13.760 --> 01:11:19.300
I know. A VH tape labeled exercise, but you know

01:11:19.300 --> 01:11:23.960
it's not exercise on that tape. Loose batteries,

01:11:24.159 --> 01:11:29.239
all different sizes, none that work. A plastic

01:11:29.239 --> 01:11:37.359
bag. Yeah, true. A plastic bag full of other

01:11:37.359 --> 01:11:42.739
plastic bags. That's also in drawers too, not

01:11:42.739 --> 01:11:46.279
just under a bed. Yeah, yeah, that's in every

01:11:46.279 --> 01:11:50.439
home around this nation. Yep. A receipt from

01:11:50.439 --> 01:11:52.539
a restaurant that closed before you were born.

01:11:54.960 --> 01:11:57.399
I think I might have found that under a bed before.

01:11:58.619 --> 01:12:02.520
Yeah, yeah. A folded piece of paper with everybody's

01:12:02.520 --> 01:12:05.229
social security numbers. That's kind of scary.

01:12:07.109 --> 01:12:10.210
Yeah. A remote control to nothing you currently

01:12:10.210 --> 01:12:15.510
own. That's normal. Yeah, that's normal. A pill

01:12:15.510 --> 01:12:17.630
bottle with no label and pills that don't match.

01:12:19.329 --> 01:12:26.189
Yeah. Got it. Yep. Yeah. How about a handwritten

01:12:26.189 --> 01:12:35.449
budget for 1998? And finally... I've moved a

01:12:35.449 --> 01:12:39.350
few times. I've lost stuff like that. Me too.

01:12:40.050 --> 01:12:42.569
And then finally, a box marked, don't throw this

01:12:42.569 --> 01:12:44.550
away, but actually when you opened it up, it

01:12:44.550 --> 01:12:47.949
was a bunch of rubber bands. So, all right. There

01:12:47.949 --> 01:12:50.550
you go. All right, we are so late. Let's go to

01:12:50.550 --> 01:12:52.949
our second break and then come back with some

01:12:52.949 --> 01:12:57.229
other stuff. And now we look in on the adventures

01:12:57.229 --> 01:13:01.399
of the Technical Explanation Guy. Why, excuse

01:13:01.399 --> 01:13:05.220
me, my dear sir. Could you please direct me to

01:13:05.220 --> 01:13:07.779
the nearest self -employed person in a motorized

01:13:07.779 --> 01:13:10.500
vehicle that will transport me where I ask them

01:13:10.500 --> 01:13:13.600
to in exchange for money and a tip? Do you mean

01:13:13.600 --> 01:13:17.300
an Uber ride? Why, yes. Yes, I do mean an Uber

01:13:17.300 --> 01:13:21.000
ride. Then just say an Uber ride, you dumb motherfucker.

01:13:21.079 --> 01:13:23.100
And why are you constantly following me around

01:13:23.100 --> 01:13:29.159
asking me stupid questions? Fucking idiot. Enough!

01:13:29.319 --> 01:13:36.720
Deep thoughts with Mark. If I were floating in

01:13:36.720 --> 01:13:40.619
outer space, if I was to paddle my arms and legs,

01:13:40.819 --> 01:13:51.779
would I float faster? I may never know. You watch

01:13:51.779 --> 01:13:56.079
the news. It looks grim. Is an apocalypse inevitable?

01:14:07.339 --> 01:14:10.539
First off, repair a bug -out central location

01:14:10.539 --> 01:14:13.399
in case the family gets broken up. Make sure

01:14:13.399 --> 01:14:15.939
and use natural markers to ensure no one gets

01:14:15.939 --> 01:14:19.300
lost. Civil War times, the troops used a blackjack

01:14:19.300 --> 01:14:22.590
elm tree to meet up after battle. Grab a steak

01:14:22.590 --> 01:14:25.449
and practice making wild turkey tracks so you

01:14:25.449 --> 01:14:27.729
can communicate to the others where you are.

01:14:28.550 --> 01:14:32.369
Two douchebags and microphone. The only podcast

01:14:32.369 --> 01:14:37.590
with gusto. That's right, gusto. Just like Schlitz

01:14:37.590 --> 01:14:44.970
beer. Google it. This is Joshua Belmont, your

01:14:44.970 --> 01:14:48.050
food for thought man on The Hustle. Today, we

01:14:48.050 --> 01:14:51.310
would like to celebrate Mr. Timothy J. Brottux.

01:14:51.840 --> 01:14:54.819
who is credited for the invention of two -ply

01:14:54.819 --> 01:14:58.779
toilet paper. Because of you, Timmy, we no longer

01:14:58.779 --> 01:15:02.359
have to spend ten minutes scrubbing our fingernails

01:15:02.359 --> 01:15:06.199
after every dump. Mr. Brotox, you are a true

01:15:06.199 --> 01:15:12.079
hero. Hi there. This is your ears. Why are you

01:15:12.079 --> 01:15:15.100
listening to this garbage? I thought we were

01:15:15.100 --> 01:15:18.619
friends. So you want proof that we love you here

01:15:18.619 --> 01:15:21.529
at Q -Douche Bates and Microphone Central? Here's

01:15:21.529 --> 01:15:23.609
a proof right here. How about the drink of the

01:15:23.609 --> 01:15:27.170
week? How to make the famous Carnival Cruise

01:15:27.170 --> 01:15:30.689
Line Miami Vice frozen drink. Two ounces Bacardi

01:15:30.689 --> 01:15:34.609
one, seven ounces frozen pina colada mix, three

01:15:34.609 --> 01:15:37.470
ounces strawberry daiquiri mix, half a hurricane

01:15:37.470 --> 01:15:40.250
glass of ice. Blend it all together and serve

01:15:40.250 --> 01:15:42.550
with a slice of pineapple and a maraschino cherry

01:15:42.550 --> 01:15:47.390
on top. Bam, there you go. Miami Vice, Carnival

01:15:47.390 --> 01:15:59.760
style. As a microphone, I am Mark here in the

01:15:59.760 --> 01:16:02.979
Kansas City area at the Talk is Cheap studio.

01:16:05.220 --> 01:16:11.340
And I am Rob in Wheelan, Missouri, population

01:16:11.340 --> 01:16:20.899
371, home of the magnificent Lucas Oil Speedway

01:16:20.899 --> 01:16:36.619
and Water Track, and also home of... All right.

01:16:37.960 --> 01:16:40.460
Thank you, Rob. You got something you want to

01:16:40.460 --> 01:16:43.920
go into or I got something? No, I got something.

01:16:44.140 --> 01:16:51.579
Okay. Okay. Have you heard about the Nancy Guthrie

01:16:51.579 --> 01:16:56.399
story? Of course. Savannah Guthrie's mom that

01:16:56.399 --> 01:17:03.199
has been supposedly kidnapped. Okay, well, here's

01:17:03.199 --> 01:17:06.020
a story that goes along with that, but of course

01:17:06.020 --> 01:17:09.260
me, it's off the wall. That has nothing to do

01:17:09.260 --> 01:17:16.680
with it. Okay. A Domino's delivery driver accidentally

01:17:16.680 --> 01:17:20.880
attempted to drop off a pizza to the front door

01:17:20.880 --> 01:17:23.430
of Nancy Guthrie's house on Tuesday. Tuesday

01:17:23.430 --> 01:17:29.869
morning. During a live taping of News Nation,

01:17:30.270 --> 01:17:35.130
the Hill's broadcast partner, the man was seen

01:17:35.130 --> 01:17:39.550
carrying several pizza boxes up the steps of

01:17:39.550 --> 01:17:42.829
the residence belonging to the missing mother

01:17:42.829 --> 01:17:48.029
of the team of Savannah Deputy's home. Journalists

01:17:48.029 --> 01:18:01.590
gathered on the street. Oh, yeah. Okay. He goes,

01:18:01.689 --> 01:18:07.229
we can't believe we have to say this, but me

01:18:07.229 --> 01:18:12.489
on scene, please do not order food delivery to

01:18:12.489 --> 01:18:18.149
a crime scene address. The Pima County Sheriff's

01:18:18.149 --> 01:18:21.710
Department wrote in a post on the social platform

01:18:21.710 --> 01:18:39.760
that's on Tuesday. Okay. a video shared on social

01:18:39.760 --> 01:18:43.760
media showed the delivery driver explained that

01:18:43.760 --> 01:18:46.579
he wasn't aware of the house belonging to Nancy

01:18:46.579 --> 01:18:50.680
Guthrie and that the order had been placed by

01:18:50.680 --> 01:18:55.100
a viewer for an independent journalist at the

01:18:55.100 --> 01:19:04.109
scene that's funny So a journalist ordered the

01:19:04.109 --> 01:19:14.369
pizza. Yeah, he had no idea. Wow. Rob, that was

01:19:14.369 --> 01:19:36.960
a funny -ass story. Thank you. Uh -huh. Good

01:19:36.960 --> 01:19:48.460
point. Good point. Very good. Jeez. All right.

01:19:48.800 --> 01:19:54.659
Yeah, yeah. The rest of the story goes into that.

01:19:55.239 --> 01:20:13.340
Yeah, which sucks. Horrible thing. That was comical

01:20:13.340 --> 01:20:16.819
because it was an independent journalist that

01:20:16.819 --> 01:20:23.220
ordered the pizza. Yeah. Wow. I hope he tipped

01:20:23.220 --> 01:20:27.640
well after all of that. Right? I hope he tipped

01:20:27.640 --> 01:20:30.560
well. That's all I got to say. Oh, I do too.

01:20:30.739 --> 01:20:36.739
He better have. Yeah. let's lighten it up a little

01:20:36.739 --> 01:20:38.939
bit and then, uh, we probably need to get off

01:20:38.939 --> 01:20:41.100
here. It's nine 11 right now. I have to be up

01:20:41.100 --> 01:20:43.560
really early. I have to be at work. Really? I

01:20:43.560 --> 01:20:48.300
got the early shift tomorrow. So, um, once again,

01:20:48.380 --> 01:20:53.479
I still got downstairs. So once I get home, well,

01:20:53.619 --> 01:20:59.520
I had to take princess. Oh, okay. So you're busy.

01:20:59.779 --> 01:21:03.420
You know what? She, she texted me today and said

01:21:03.420 --> 01:21:11.520
she went, Uh -huh. And she went outside and her

01:21:11.520 --> 01:21:15.760
front tire was totally flat. Oh, man. I had to

01:21:15.760 --> 01:21:17.659
come home and take it off. She's going to take

01:21:17.659 --> 01:21:22.520
it out. Okay. I put a little air in it last night.

01:21:23.399 --> 01:21:27.119
That's cool. Okay, let's... It was totally flat

01:21:27.119 --> 01:21:30.239
today. I'm thinking, what the hell? Oh, yeah.

01:21:30.560 --> 01:21:33.119
Either a new one or get it fixed, patched, hopefully.

01:21:34.470 --> 01:21:36.170
All right. You know what? Let's just go ahead

01:21:36.170 --> 01:21:38.310
and close it off right there because I got to

01:21:38.310 --> 01:21:41.069
be up early. You need to eat. So, you know what?

01:21:41.090 --> 01:21:43.409
We're well over an hour. We gave them a solid

01:21:43.409 --> 01:21:46.210
one. I'm also going to throw in another Topher

01:21:46.210 --> 01:21:49.210
bit, me and Topher. Oh, and that's another little

01:21:49.210 --> 01:21:53.750
thing I want to add. Next week, no sports bastards.

01:21:54.569 --> 01:21:57.510
We're going to have two douchebags and microphone,

01:21:57.829 --> 01:22:04.109
the alternate universe version. Two douchebags

01:22:04.109 --> 01:22:08.229
and a microphone, the alternate universe version

01:22:08.229 --> 01:22:13.670
of it. Instead of the sports bastards. Okay,

01:22:13.729 --> 01:22:16.430
okay, so that's going to be you, too. Okay. Yep,

01:22:16.890 --> 01:22:19.890
yep. Okay. Yeah, so it's going to be like an

01:22:19.890 --> 01:22:22.229
alternate universe, and this is a two douchebags

01:22:22.229 --> 01:22:25.510
microphone podcast over there. And we decided

01:22:25.510 --> 01:22:29.590
not to do sports until the draft comes up, because

01:22:29.590 --> 01:22:32.979
there's really nothing to talk about. And, you

01:22:32.979 --> 01:22:35.539
know, there's only so many stats you can go through

01:22:35.539 --> 01:22:38.720
and predictions and all that stuff. So we're

01:22:38.720 --> 01:22:41.060
changing it up a little bit. But we won't be

01:22:41.060 --> 01:22:43.640
doing this all the time. We're going to be changing

01:22:43.640 --> 01:22:46.739
different types of podcasts around and doing

01:22:46.739 --> 01:22:49.220
different ideas. And this was the first one we

01:22:49.220 --> 01:22:52.659
wanted to try was the alternate universe to douchebags

01:22:52.659 --> 01:22:55.979
and microphone. So, anyhow, thank you, everybody,

01:22:56.119 --> 01:22:59.159
for listening. Yeah, I'm going to have to listen

01:22:59.159 --> 01:23:02.109
to that. it's going to be good I can tell you

01:23:02.109 --> 01:23:05.510
that right now so anyhow thank you everybody

01:23:05.510 --> 01:23:09.130
for tuning in we appreciate you we appreciate

01:23:09.130 --> 01:23:12.090
your listenership we got a lot of listeners we're

01:23:12.090 --> 01:23:15.670
still growing so thank you very much anyhow everybody

01:23:15.670 --> 01:23:24.960
goodnight assholes goodnight assholes oh No.

01:23:25.039 --> 01:23:28.239
Looks like the show's over, kids. Mark has explosive

01:23:28.239 --> 01:23:31.899
diarrhea and can't afford a wireless mic. Fear

01:23:31.899 --> 01:23:34.319
not, assholes. They'll be back invading your

01:23:34.319 --> 01:23:35.119
ear holes soon.