Hey, my fellow heavy breathers, this is Dash
Riptide, your music news. Graham Bonnet Band
is currently working on their fourth album. Graham
said it's very possible Bruce Dickinson might
guest on a song or two on his new album. Bruce
is a big fan of Graham's ever since his days
in Rainbow. Two fantastic lead singers in one
song kind of reminds me of Deep Purple's Mark
III lineup with Glenn Hughes and David Coverdale.
This should be pretty damn good. We will see.
This is Gash Riptine, and that was your music
news. If it's too loud, you probably have ear
damage, just like me. And we're off. There's
a drum intro. There it is. Yeah, we're talking
about drum intros. And I was going to do a list
of our favorite drum intros. Not the most talented,
but our favorite drum intros. Yeah, that's a
better way to do it. Just like really catch you
right off the bat. Wow. My first example was
Angry Chair by Alice in Chains. That drum beat
is very interesting and it leads into a very
dark, dismal, grindy song with such a smooth,
easy beat. It fits. Yeah. I mean, it's just like
no different than Tony Iommi with his instrumentals
that lead into the dark, dark, dark. Yeah. It's
the same thing. That's what makes a song heavy,
is the minor chords with the power chords. It's
not power chord, power chord, power chord, loud,
loud, loud. It's soft, build up, large, back
down. That's what makes a song heavy is not continually.
Yeah. So it's the same way with drum beats. So
anyhow, you had an example or two? Yeah. Oh,
we got our guitar player in the background again.
Oh, okay, cool. Yeah. All right, we're going
to have some music here. And he's pretty decent,
too. I like him. I wish I could tell what kind
of guitar he's got off. Go look. One of the ones
I thought of first off the bat was Led Zeppelin,
When the Levee Breaks. That is so good. It starts
with, yeah, and then the drum, I mean the bass.
guitar and harmonica harmonica is so good on
that first chord it's it's yeah that song is
someone singing about despair because levy's
gonna break into and kill them all yeah ruin
all their land and crops yeah yeah i mean if
you want a perfect example of blues yeah that's
the blues when levy breaks i ain't got no place
to stay make a mountain man leave his home all
that's cool you know the lyrics that should be
there are there yeah That was a smart choice
to start it off with the drums, because if it
just all came in at once, it would be too much
of a shocker. Yeah, and John Bonham, less is
more. That's a great example of his drumming.
I mean, if he dropped his stick on the drums,
it would still sound like it had great feeling.
He couldn't play anything without feeling and
touch and nuance. He was oozing with it. You
know, people, you know, Ginger Baker, Krupa,
all those guys are great, but I always prefer
Bonham. Yeah. You know, the originality of those
guys, great and all that, but the real ones,
the real ones, the ones that catch your attention
are the ones that are like Bonham that can do
that. Yeah, they leave stuff out. Yes, they leave
stuff out. They know what to leave out when.
Oddly enough, Elton John's first serious drummer,
Nigel Olsen. Oh, Nigel, yeah, okay. He was very
good at leaving stuff out, and instead of doing
a fill, he would just leave empty spaces and
hit the kick on odd times. Yeah, yeah. And it
made the song. Yeah, it really did. You know,
he had to be listening to Bonham. Oh, I would
say. Same style. Yeah. I met Nigel at a drum
clinic, and when he was addressing everybody,
he said, now, I don't do solos. I've never done
drum solos. I just don't. And Elton John's show
didn't command a drum solo anymore. A piano solo.
Yeah, very good. And he said, I'm not a rudiments
guy. I don't know all the different rudiments
and things. I just play what I feel. So that's
all I do and just what I can do. And I thought
it was pretty impressive. It's like I'm not here
to impress you with my book knowledge or my flashy
skills. He's not claiming. It's all about the
song. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, I like it. Okay, yeah,
Nigel Olsen, I agree with that. Let's see. I
had Billion Dollar Babies by Alice Cooper. That's
a perfect one. Yeah, who was the drummer? Neil
Smith. Neil Smith, okay. Before he played football.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, we established that. Back then
he was like 6 '3 and blonde and a white guy.
Yeah, yeah. But eventually he started playing
football and he was, yeah. But yeah, that intro
with the thumb -whack -whack, thumb -whack -whack,
da -da -da -da -da -da, and just that off -kilter
beat really makes the song instantly recognizable.
I mean, it's one of the hooks, is that drum intro.
I watched a video the other day about awesome
drum intros, and that wasn't even listed. The
guy didn't go back any farther than about 85,
I don't think. So maybe he was a youngster. Here's
an interesting one I just thought of. Yeah. It's
not the most prolific. It's not the most memorable,
but it does it. And that is the intro to Mental
Health by Quiet Riot. Oh, yeah. Then you get
to chords on it. Yeah. Let's see. It's kind of
like a roll almost, but improvised. And then
you get to power chords. All right. Yeah. Okay.
Especially if you're going to start the song
with the drums, you've got to do something interesting
and cool. Yeah. Someone's going to drag you in.
I think a lot of that songwriting is like this.
What's that? Oh, I don't know. I just made it
up. Okay, remember that. Yeah. Can you do it
again? Yeah. Then later on it's like, hey, let's
take that thing you did yesterday and put it
in the front of here. Yeah. That's what good
production is. Absolutely. Yeah. You dismantle
things and take the best pieces out. Kind of
way to fit them together. It's very rare that
a song is written start to finish as a single
piece. Kind of the opposite of what we do here.
Yeah. We just take all the crap bits and throw
them in. Just throw them in there anyhow. Anyhow,
I mean, we can move on. I had a few more examples.
Painkiller, Judas Priest. Oh, yeah. That's a
beast. There was a guy named 6 -6 Samus on YouTube.
that was doing a video on, I'm going to play
a challenging drum intro, and then I'm going
to take a drink. And I play it again. And he
wanted to see how many shots before he just couldn't
play it anymore. Oh, I love that. Okay. And the
intro to Painkiller is what he chose. And after
about 10, 15 shots, he was still playing it really
damn well. You could tell he was getting a little
sloppy with some of the timing and some of the
things weren't quite as crisp and precise. But
he said, you know. It's muscle memory. My muscles
are just taking over. They know what to do. I
don't even think about it. Yeah. So that was
kind of a bust for his video, but it was interesting.
Okay. And he was a lot of fun while he was getting
drunk. Coincidentally, there's a list that I
didn't bring with me of lead singers that can
still bring it, and Rob Halford is at the top.
Oh, yeah. Yeah. It's awesome how he's managed
to maintain that voice all these years. He still
does the high notes like he always did, which
is insane. He's in his 70s. He must have always
been doing them the right way to not hurt his
voice. He had to. He wouldn't blow out a candle.
Yeah. Yeah, I didn't mean to say blow in his
presence, okay? No. That was not a joke. Extinguish
a candle. Extinguish a candle. There we go. Thank
you. Yes. So, okay. It's the Dream Theater on
their second album. The first song is called
6 AM. And it starts off with a run down the little
baby tom. Then it goes down into the rhythm.
Yeah, and he did that intentionally because on
their first album, the producer made him use
drum triggers. So on Dream Theater's first album,
you're not hearing any of Mike Portnoy's drums.
You're hearing pre -recorded samples, and they
just put triggers on his drums. That's why there's
absolutely zero dynamics on that whole album.
Wow. And the band hated it, but the record label
said, nope, this is what we're going to do, and
you have to do what he says. Oh, I remember a
little bit about that. Yeah, for like Pull Me
Under was their first big hit, and the drums
were all exactly the same volume. Every snare
hit sounds exactly like every other snare hit
because it's all sampled. You see, I never was
impressed with that song. It was too manufactured
to me. Yeah, yeah. And that's a great example
right there. But when they got to their second
album, they got more leeway and a different producer.
And to celebrate, they started the song and the
album with a drum intro. So I thought that was
pretty clever. That is. Another story I picked
up in the drum clinic directly from Mike Portnoy.
Oh, okay. He was a fun guy. I mean, he was laughing,
he was joking, he was cracking everybody up.
He just seemed like a real fun guy. He does what
he wants in music. I've always respected him.
He is not loyal to anything, which is fine. He
does what he feels like he needs to do, and I
love it. He's always been like that. He's kind
of a free spirit, so I could guess that pretty
easily. I remember at the beginning of the clinic,
he was giving a little background information.
He said, oh, I just got married. And one of the
gals in the audience said, oh. And he looked
at her and smiled and said, hey, I was looking.
You weren't there. That's funny. Yeah. A couple
more that people probably wouldn't know but are
worth looking up. There's a band called Screamin'
Cheetah Wheelies. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a southern
rock band. Yeah. Kind of along the same line
as the Black Crows, but I think better. Better,
yeah. And they have a song off their album Magnolia
called I Found Love. And ostensibly from the
lyrics, it's about him finding the love of Jesus.
but you can try to read it as a girl, but really
it's about finding Jesus. But the drum intro
is amazing. I think the drummer was about the
best musician in the group. The singer was amazing.
Everybody else was kind of okay, but the drummer
was just amazing. That's cool. And then the last
one I've got, good old Monster Magnets song.
I think this album is off of... God, I can't
even remember the name of the album. The song
is called When the Planes Fall from the Sky.
The song sounds just like the title would suggest,
but it's a slow, plodding drum intro. And the
drums start, and then kind of a minimalist guitar
comes in and starts chunking along with them.
And then when it's time, the whole rest of the
band, along with the bass, comes in and just...
It just takes you down the hill into this low...
I think I know what you're talking about, because
I've loved Monster Magnet, and I'm a fan too.
We've spoke about this before. One of the best
things to ever come out of New Jersey is Monster
Magnet. Yes. And they should have been much bigger.
The timing. The timing when they came out didn't
help them. They're enormous over in Europe. They're
still really big. That's the only place they
tour is over in Europe. And they have trouble
finding a record label and distribution in the
U .S. Well, just like Wasp. Wasp is the same
way. Glen Hughes is the same way. I mean, they
do great overseas, but really don't do that much
here. April Wine never really got much distribution
or airplay in the U .S., but in Canada they were
monsters. They were always one of my favorites.
I mean, they were really, really good. I have
SATO, which is off Blizzard of Oz, second side.
And it's a Lee Kerslake. And it's like, it's
a drum roll followed by soft. It's like... And
it goes straight into the song. It's really good.
It's nothing fancy. But it is exactly what the
song needed. Yeah. It's that perfect intro that
sets the mood. Yes. Rather than showing off technical
skills, it sets the mood. Yeah, because this
is right after like the first, the hard rock
in... You know, Randy Rhoads, these chords, these
power chords, the scales. And then you go into
this, which isn't quite that. It's more of a
driving song. But it's what it needed. It needed
that little edge to get you right to it. And
then he goes completely different on the drums,
which I really enjoyed. I guess we've got to
throw Hot for Teacher in there, too. Yeah, I
actually, that's one of the ones I wrote down.
Yeah. That thing right there is interesting.
Yeah. They did not have to do that. Go ahead.
He's throwing some little funny, funky stuff
in there. He's playing some sort of rudiment
between his hands and feet. Yeah, he is, which
kind of, I used to not like him. Yeah, same here.
And then I listened to that, and I'm like, that
guy's really fucking good. yeah yeah i remember
in the first album it's like there's just i hear
the same old standard you know hard rock kind
of stuff but you know the producer was making
hold it back yeah and then subsequent albums
came out and i started trying to look past the
sound of his drums which was kind of hard to
get used to at first and then what he was actually
playing and uh uh there was there was a slower
song they did with sammy um Something about,
oh, God. Something about give me what you wanted
or something like that. Yeah, okay, yeah. I'll
think of the name anyway, but just it was the
first time I heard him playing with softly in
the feeling. I was like, wow, okay, he can do
it. So that impressed me. I was about the same
as John Bonham. At first I was put off by how
different it was and how he sounded, but then
I just started looking past that at what he was
actually playing. It's like, oh, okay, this guy's
got some real brain smarts there with drumming.
He's not just going by the seat of his pants,
which I did for a lot of my early careers, just
like, yeah, whatever. I didn't really think about
it much. Yeah. Okay. You got any more? I think
that was it. Okay, all right. You got something
you want to go into? I wrote up a list of some
record labels from the past and all the big artists
they had on them, and then a lot of them, all
of these are defunct now for various reasons.
But it's pretty interesting when I started going
over the whole list about how often record labels
just went out of business or merged with somebody
else. you know, a roster of good artists. It's
like, how come you couldn't keep in business?
But I think there's more going on behind the
scenes if it makes it a good idea to keep changing.
I thought of one, and I don't know if it's on
that list, because they weren't that well -known.
Casablanca. I was wondering about that, too.
It wasn't on my list, so they must be still in
business in some form or another. I'll have to
look that up. No, they went into BMI. No, no,
no, no. Polidorm, anyway. That sounds right.
But yeah, Kiss and Led Zeppelin were both on
Casablanca. Casablanca, and then they went into
Polydor. But Led Zeppelin went to Swan Song.
Swan Song, yeah. And then Kiss, yeah, I think
it's Polydor gobbled them up. And they're probably
still like an offshoot of Polydor. But anyhow,
that's why I asked about them. Yeah, I was surprised
they weren't on my list anywhere. And then, you
know, smaller labels. They were disco, too. They
had a lot of disco acts. Maybe that's, I don't
know. And I know Elton John started his own label,
Rocket Records, and it folded in about a year.
So I don't really count ones like that because
I never really had a chance. First one I had
listed was Bang Records. Remember Bang? Vaguely.
It was the first initial of the first name of
the four people who started it, B -A -N -G. So
that's how they got the name. And then I think
the end. Eventually died and his wife took over.
Their artist list included Paul Davis, Neil Diamond,
The Lost Souls, The McCoys, Van Morrison, Nigel
Olsen, The Strange Loves, Brick, Peebo Bryson,
and Derek. I forgot that Nigel Olsen had his
solo out. He had his solo out, yeah. Put on your
dancing shoes. Oh yeah, yeah. But the guy who
died and his wife took over, she was really pissed
off at Van Morrison. Because she said, my husband
died of a heart attack because he kept arguing
with you and you wouldn't give in and stressed
him out and that's why he's dead, so I hate you,
Van Morrison. And she basically ran the record
label into the ground trying to get back at Van
Morrison for killing her husband. Wow. Okay,
interesting. That's all the part that my printer
cut off that I had to remember. Oh, damn it.
I hate it when that happens. You remember EMI?
Yeah, oh yeah. The Sex Pistols originally signed
with EMI, and they screwed them over, so they
wrote a song called EMI, just trashing them.
And at the end of the song, Johnny Rotten screams
their name, EMI, and then he turns around and
farts in the microphone. He really hated them.
Oh, I love it. One of the best names ever. Or
one of the best names ever. So EMI America. It
was launched in 1978 by EMI, launched by EMI
as a second label. So we had EMI and they had
EMI American Records. Okay. Then they relied
on Capitol Records for the pressing distribution
and as an international liaison. In 1987, EMI
America merged with Manhattan Records, resulting
in the formation of EMI Manhattan. Imagine that.
Okay. That underwent a rebranding two years later
in 89, becoming known as EMI USA. Wow. In 1991,
it joined the EMI Records Group North America,
ERG, under the name EMI Records USA. Okay. The
label was ultimately closed down in 1997, and
its artists were split between Virgin Records
America, which was acquired by Thorne EMI in
92, and Capitol Records. See how incestuous this
all is? Yeah. God. Their past artists included
Marty Ballant, formerly of Jefferson Starship,
Blessed Union of Souls, David Bowie, Kate Bush,
Stray Cats. Lenny Burns. Kim Carnes. Sheena Easton.
Joe B. Nesposito. Robin Gibb. Go West. That was
one of the Bee Gees, right? Yeah. Yeah, it was
one of the three. One of the three, okay. Yeah,
I had a solo effort. Okay. Corey Hart, but only
outside of Canada. Oh, yeah, okay. Murray Head.
Kajagoogoo. Remember them? Yes. Too Shy. Hush,
hush. Yeah, Too Shy. Yeah. Limol. Jake Isles,
the Michael Stanley Band, Naked Eye, Queensryche,
Arbra Mandrell, Pet Shop Boys, Red Hot Chili
Peppers, sometimes known as the Green Cold Banana
Peppers. Yes, yes. I like it when they do that.
They all come out in chicken costumes. It's fantastic.
Cliff Richard. He had some really good hits.
Rockset, Steve Harvey and Cockney Rebel, Talk
Talk. George Thorogood and the Destroyers, John
Waite, former lead singer of the Babies, and
Kim Wilde. Yeah, we're missing John Waite. Yeah.
Amazing how many variations that album went through.
Okay, Enigma Records. Remember Enigma? Yeah,
I do. Yeah, very much. They had some good acts.
They launched as a division of Green World Distribution,
an independent music importer and distributor,
in 1981. The label's first release was... Motley
Crue's Too Fast for Love. The album was initially
released under the band's own Leather Records,
spelled L -E -A -T -H -U -R. And then they went
to Elektra after that. Let's see, it was under
the band's record label imprint, but it was manufactured,
marketed, and distributed by what would become
the Enigma Records team. After the band moved
on to Elektra... the Enigma Records name was
adopted, and all subsequent artists were released
under this new name. Yeah, and I think that was
part of their deal of, the whole deal was, is
Elektra could offer them like three records.
Yeah. And so, I forgot what that was, but Elektra
came in and said, you know, we're not going to
give you a one album deal, we're going to give
you three albums, and they're like, you know,
we've got to do that. So they were signed all
the way to Girls, and then they went to another.
Yeah. Yeah, so anyhow. The label's major success
was with the pop band Berlin. They did Take My
Breath Away for Top Gun. Yeah, the lead bass
line. Yeah, yeah. Enigma was formally acquired
by Capital EMI, there's EMI again, in 1989. Some
of its catalog and operations were merged into
the still -independent Restless Records in 1991.
Wow. Their Canadian division was closed in 92
and was reorganized into F .R .E. Records before
shutting again in 99, after which its catalog
was sold back to D .R .O .G. Records. Okay. And
here's some of the artists that Enigma had. Seven
Seconds, 2020, 45 Grave, Agent Orange. Bardot,
Baron Cross, Battalion of Saints, haven't heard
of any of these so far. Agent Orange, I've heard
of Agent Orange. Yeah, Agent Orange I have, yeah.
Berlin, David Cassidy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. From
the Partridge family. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Castile.
And he had a good career. He did, he really did.
Him and his brother Sean did very well. Celtic
Frost, I've heard of them. Yeah, yeah, they're
a death metal. Channel 3, Close Lobsters. The
Cramps, I've heard of them. They were a punk
band. Dead Milkman, another punk band. Death
Angel. Another death metal. The Descendants.
Devo. The Dickies. Don Dixon. The Dream Syndicate.
The Effigies. I've heard of the Dream Syndicate.
Yeah. Rocky Erickson. Fear. The Fibonaccis. Okay.
The Flaming Lips. Yes. Yeah, I heard them. I
can't stand the Flaming Lights. I can't either.
I hated them all the time. I mean, I'm happy
that they're having success, but I've seen a
couple of their stage shows on concert videos.
Awful. Just awful. I didn't even like their songs.
I thought they were so overrated because you've
got these people that are fucking obsessed with
them. It comes from nothing. I remember a performance
I saw. They were doing covers of Pink Floyd's
The Wall, like the whole album. and they're doing
shitty covers of them and for backup singers
they had a crowd of about seven or eight young
women in cheerleader uniforms that were just
kind of standing in a mob and just kind of you
know pumping up and down making hip movements
just kind of bouncing and swaying around and
occasionally one of them would lean in to sing
a little bit for them but for the most part they
were just bumping and grinding female helvises
on stage. And that's what they were there for.
And I thought, how is this even, how are people
even looking at this and thinking it's entertainment?
They're basically saying, here are seven vaginas
up here moving around for you to stare at. Really?
Okay. They knew they sucked. That was it right
there. Yeah, they knew. Game Theory, Get Smart,
G .G. Allen, Girl School. I remember Girl School.
Yeah, I remember them. They were actually unique.
Yeah, they were unique. The Goo Goo Dolls. Great
White. Yeah, the Goo Goo Dolls have that big,
big hit name. Yeah. And Slide was another one.
Slide was another huge one. Great White, Green
on Red, Guardian. Peter Hamill. I think that's
Mark Hamill's second cousin. Okay. Great White.
This was the very first rendition of them because
then later on there was Jack Russell's Great
White and there was Great White. Yeah. And some
judge said that they could do it like that. Yeah.
Kind of like you had Queenswright and you had
Jeff Tate's Queenswright. But then he had to
drop it after a certain amount of years and now
it's just Jeff Tate. Yeah. Alan Holdsworth. He
was credited with inventing the technique that
Eddie Van Halen perfected. Hurricane. Which one
is that? The finger tapping. Oh, he's credited
with that? A lot of people credit Alan Holdsworth
with being at least Eddie's main influence. I
think that it all came from Bluegrass. It did,
yeah. But I think that Ace, really. was more
of the line that we're talking about to Eddie
Van Halen. I would think so, too. But at the
time I read this, Kiss was still, by most critics,
considered beneath notice. So they weren't going
to give Ace Frehley credit for anything. You're
right. You're right. They were taking it as a
joke. Yeah. They snubbed him as songwriters,
musicians, performers, businessmen. It was just
like, Kiss is a big joke, and we're not even
going to pay attention to him. You're right.
That really hurt Ace Frehley as far as public.
But Eddie Van Halen would have been listening
and watching that. Yeah, absolutely. So he had
Ace going, hey, let's take that pick away, and
just started doing it with a finger. But then
he... Hoosker Dew. I remember Hoosker Dew. Yeah,
I do too. John and the Knight Riders. Steve Kilby.
Laz Rocket. Lieback. The Leaving Trains. Lizzie
Borden. Maycons. The Minutemen. Ronnie Montrose.
Sammy Hagar was in Montrose. Mojo Nixon. That
guy was weird. Molly Crew. Motorhead. Naked Raid
Gun. Neekrose. Bill Nelson. Obsession. Peer Ubu.
Plan 9. named after one of the worst movies ever
made, Plan 9 from Outer Space. Plastic Land,
Poison, was on their record. Chris Poland, Rain
Parade, Rat, Rat Flag, Red Hot Chili Peppers,
Red Cross, The Residents, Sacred Reich, Green
Sage, Skid Roper, who eventually hooked up with
Mojo Nixon. They were both kind of ska, not really
reggae, but... Just kind of the music you would
hear on the street corner. Mojo Nixon had a song
called Debbie Gibson is Pregnant with My Two
-Headed Love Child. And he had another song called
Chicken Drop. Have you ever seen people play
chicken bingo? Yeah. It's where they paint out
a bingo board and then they put a chicken in
the middle of it and whichever number the chicken
shits on is the winning number. Yeah, it's also
known as chicken shit bingo. Yeah. But he called
it Chicken Drop for the purposes of the song.
Saxon. I remember Saxon. Yeah, yeah. Screamin'
Sirens. Don't know them. Shooting Star. Local
band. Kansas City local band. Slayer. The Smithereens.
I remember the Smithereens. Were they local as
well? Smithereens? I think they might have been,
actually. They have the song Girl Like You. Yeah.
Just you and the girl. Slayer is the most metal
band ever. Yeah. Because their guitarist actually
died from a brown recluse bite. Yeah, trashed
his liver. Yeah, yeah, yep. So that's metal.
That's as metal as you can get. That's a metal
way to die. Yes. But on the same label. Sonic
Youth. Sonic Youth. With Slayer. Imagine the
party. Shooting star Slayer and Sonic Youth.
You see them at like a company party. Yeah. Who
are you? Who are you? We're the Sonic Youth.
Hey, who beat up Sonic Youth? Those guys over
there in leather? Yep. Al Stewart. Striper. Oh,
wow. A Christian rock band. Imagine Striper and
Slayer getting together. No, that was talked
about. And also Wasp. It's going to be called
the Heaven and Hell Tour. Oh, that would be awesome.
They tried to, but they couldn't get it off the
ground for whatever reason. Let's see, Surf Punks,
Tex and the Horseheads, They Might Be Giants.
I've heard of They Might Be Giants. I'm not a
big fan, but okay. There are a few songs they
have I like really well. I like Particle Man
and Minimum Wage. Yeah, Minimum Wage is great,
yes. If nothing else, go Google Minimum Wage
by They Might Be Giants. It'll take a minute
and a half out of your life. It's funny as hell.
It's pretty much talking what it says. It's talking
about someone making minimum wage and getting
shit on all the time. And the entire lyrics for
the song are minimum wage. Thor, Tom Peterson,
and another language, the bass player from Cheap
Trick. Cheap Trick, yeah. Who has the best bass
around. Yeah. Yeah, what is that, nine, 12 string?
It's a 12 string. 12 string. I think it was Hamer
was the brand. Yeah, yeah. You flip it over for
octave and you flip it over to the other side
for bass. Genius. Yeah. If you want to know what
it sounds like, the intro to Jeremy. Yeah, intro
and outro. And outro, yeah. That thing that sounds
like a bass but has octaves, that's it right
there. Yeah, that's the actual bass. They even
built another one. He borrowed it from Tom Peterson.
Yeah, he did. TSOL, I have no idea what that
means. Trans, no, no, no, no. Not the Trans -Siberian
Orchestra. No, no, no, that's something else.
That's TSOL. Speaking of the Trans -Siberian
Orchestra, you can't convince me that every member
of that orchestra is trans. i know i tried to
look at it too and they kind of look guyly to
me yeah they don't really look like uh trans
so yeah the trans siberian orchestra they aren't
trans no no and also there's no snow up there
or ice on their stage so i think the whole thing's
just a lie yeah yeah um the you crew the untouchables
the vandals i remember the vandals uh benny ben
vaughn The Vinnie Vincent invasion. You remember
Vinnie Vincent? Yeah. Man, that guy. How many
notes could he get in in a fucking song? Like
extreme experimental jazz where they try to play
a thousand notes in every single key in the next
two seconds. The bad thing is your eye could
play what he was doing. Yeah. Because all it
was was just hitting notes. There was no musicality
in it at all. Voivod, another punk -ish wall
of voodoo. They had the song Mexican Radio. Oh,
yeah, yeah, that's it. The lead singer, Stan
Ridgeway, went on to do solo stuff that was pretty
good. I mean, it was a little out there, but
it was still really, really good. Oh, okay. Wasted
Youth, Wednesday Week, Wild Dog, Ike Willis,
Wire, XYZ. Somebody actually eventually forgot
to use the name XYZ. Oh, yeah, yeah. Snow White.
Snow White. Snow White. So, Mammoth Records.
Not Wolfgang. No, no. His independent record
label founded in 89 by Jay Fares in the Carrboro
area of Chapel Hill, North Carolina. Their roster
included Antenna, Backsliders, Bandit Queen,
The Bats, Blake Babies, Chainsaw Kittens. I love
that name. Clarissa Dash Riprock. That's funny.
Isn't it? Yeah, because one of my code names
on the podcast is Dash Riprock. And you know
where that came from? The Flintstones. They probably
got their band name from that, too. I remember
that Dash Riprock was their version of Cary Grant.
Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Or no, not Cary Grant. Would
have been... Maybe it was Cary Grant. Cary Grant,
Robert Mitchum, one of those guys. Yeah, one
of those guys, yeah. A slick, good -looking Hollywood
guy. Yeah. Dash Riprock. Fu Manchu, Fundamental.
Jason and the Scorchers, I remember them. Kill
Creek, Machines of Loving Grace, I've heard of
them. Seven Mary Three. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Cumbersome. Yeah, I remember doing that song
in a cover band. That would be a good song to
cover because everybody knows it and it's not
really that complex of a song. No, it's just
very simple. The band got its name from the intro
to that old cop show, Adam 12. You could hear
somebody on the radio in the background saying,
7 Mary 3, respond to us. That's right. It was
a call sign of another squad. Oh, okay. The Squirrel
Nut Zippers. Oh, God, yeah, yeah. They were like
jazz kind of. Yeah, they were just like a bunch
of different musicians doing weird stuff with
unconventional instruments. There was no direction
at all. It was more music. It was more instrumental
kind of than it really was anything else. But
it was interesting, and it went well. Yeah, interpersonal
relationships kind of busted up that band. Yeah,
it did, big time. The Melvins were also on that
album. Sidewinder. Hey, they suck. Oh, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you're supposed to say
that. Suck in a good way. Yes, you're supposed
to say that. Vanilla Trainwreck. The success
of the Squirrel Nut Zippers albums, along with
the development of other mammoth bands like Pure
with Generation Six Pack, Fu Manchu, and the
Backsliders, focused the industry's attention
on the newly independent mammoth label. The label
sold to the Walt Disney Company in 1997. Yep,
that's tragic. Eight years. And they sold out.
It's too bad they're on a great direction. Yeah,
and you know, it's sad, but when a label gets
sold like that, a lot of artists get cut loose.
I got a question. I got the answer. You go first.
Okay, how come Hibachi House is closed? Uh -oh.
I don't like the hesitation. Are we off the air?
Oh, here we go. We can be. I didn't even think
about it because we get to talk and I forget
we're even. Off the record. Thank you. I'm glad
you said that. Yeah, so we heard the story off
record, and I'm not going to repeat it, but it's
safe to say there's nothing bizarre or unusual
or illegal or shady going on. It's just normal
everyday stuff. No, we were actually organized.
It's unconfirmed, so we don't want to spread
it. We were all organized in a crap game after
hours. Yes. MCA Records. American label owned
by MCA International established in 1972. They
had released recordings on that name in the UK
in the 60s. Now they started acquiring other
labels. They bought up ABC, Motown, and Geffen.
Okay. MCA became Universal Studios in 96, and
the MCA record label was folded into Universal
Music Group's Geffen Records in 2003. So they
bought up Geffen, but kept it as a separate label.
So if you ever see UMG, that's Universal Music
Group. But Universal's MCA Nashville does continue
to use the MCA name. Artists include Adam Ant.
Alvin and the Chipmunks. Alvin and the Chipmunks.
What a thing to be signed. I mean, is that the
people that do it, I guess? Yeah, yeah. I guess
it's the people who are actually recording the
voices. And I'm sure right now people are saying,
you mean it's not really the Chipmunks? Oh, Belbiv
DeVoe. Oh, yeah. Remember that? Bobby Blue Bland.
Mary J. Blige. Uh -huh. She's got a reality show
out now. Does she? I've seen ads for it. For
some reason, I thought she was dead. I guess
not. It's not. Okay. Boston. Bobby Brown. Oh,
yeah. Budgie. Now, Budgie is a really unknown
band, but... I know who you're talking about.
They are credited with influencing and inspiring
so many of the bands you know. Yeah, they're
a musician's band. Yeah. Yeah. So, check out
some Budgie. Actually, it's good stuff. It is.
If you listen to it, most people will like it.
Let's see. Who else? Jimmy Buffett. Blink -182.
Belinda Carlyle. Oh, yeah, yeah. Go -Go's. I'm
her fan club. Yeah, we talked about that. Kim
Carnes. Yeah, yeah. Betty Davis eyes. Yeah. And
what that means, I don't understand. No, she
didn't have... Betty Davis had thyroid eye disease
where her eyes bugged out really far. Yeah. Also
known as Ted. Yes. Let's see. They did Cher.
Alice Cooper. Bill Cosby. The Cranberries. Neil
Diamond. Dream Theater. The Fix. The two X's.
Glenn Frey of the Eagles. Oh, wow. Jimi Hendrix.
Iron Butterfly, Elton John, Kansas, Crocus, Leonard
Skinner, Gary Moore, Alanis Morissette. My gosh.
Yeah. Star after star after star. New Edition,
Night Ranger, Joe Perry Project, Tom Petty and
the Heartbreakers, Spinal Tap, Steely Dan, Sublime,
Triumph, and The Hoof. All of them are on MCA.
I had no idea they had so many really good artists.
Speaking of Steely Dan. Do you know who Steely
Dan's original and founding drummer was? No.
Chevy Chase. That Chevy Chase. Yeah, the miserable
one? They all got together in college, Donald
Fagan, Walter Becker, and Chevy Chase, and started
this band, Steely Dan, named after a dildo in
a book called The Naked Lunch. And a lot of people
don't know that's what it's named after. They're
just like, okay, whatever. But he stayed with
them all the way up to the point where they get
signed to a record deal, and then Chevy Chase
quit. He said, you guys need to find a good drummer
because you're going places, and I'm at my limit,
so I quit. You guys go find a good drummer. And
they never did. They just used guest drummers.
So nobody has ever joined Steely Dan since Chevy
Chase quit. Yep. Wow. Isn't that weird? That
is. Yeah. Hey there, Slapmets. It's time for
the Creeps Music News. Hey, my little pumpkin
seeds. This is Johnny Rohypnol with your music
news. The latest news from the coroner and the
death of Ace Brealey. His founding member, lead
guitarist, and successful solo artist was. Ace
had a stroke and led to his fall that resulted
in a brain bleed and his unfortunate passing.
We already miss you, Ace. Condolences to his
family and friends. This is Johnny Rohypnol.
That was your music news. And remember, bar chords
are bullshit. But, you know, I think he did better
outside the band than he would have. I think
he did, too. I mean, look, Steely Dan had a good
run and everything. And I went to see them, I
don't know, maybe eight years ago at Starlight,
and it was pretty full. So, I mean, they did
okay, but, yeah. But I'm sure. Chevy Chase is
making more off of residuals now than Fagan and
Becker would be making now. Oh, no, no, I agree
with that. I'm just saying that Steely Dan actually
did really good as well. Yeah, yeah, there was
no slouch. But it's so funny to think of Chevy
Chase back there playing the drums for Steely
Dan. Wow. But he did for years. That is interesting.
Yeah. Was he miserable back then, too? No, I
think he's pretty happy. He's doing a lot of
drugs. Oh, okay. Okay, yeah. Yeah, have you seen
some of that stuff that people are saying about
him? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Crazy. And to his credit,
Chevy Chase, after his heart failure and his
heart stopped, he lost a huge chunk of his memory.
Yeah. So people can claim anything, and he can't
dispute it because he doesn't remember. You know,
that's actually a good point. Yeah. We don't
actually know, honestly, yet. Okay. Yeah. So
I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt
on a lot of things. You know what? Yeah, you're
right. I don't know. I'm just saying this is
what people said. And here's what I was getting
at. I find it kind of hard to believe that a
drummer and a guy that was pretty renowned is
that miserable. But I guess, you know, I don't
know. His mother and his stepdad used to beat
him, so that could make you miserable. That could
tarnish your outlook on life. MGM Records. was
founded by the Metro -Goldwyn -Mayer Film Studio
in 1946 for the purpose of relieving soundtrack
recordings, later LPs. And that's the same MGM
that you see, Bet MGM? Yeah. All Metro -Goldwyn
-Mayer. So they had music, film, TV, now a gambling
house, a casino, a hotel, all of that stuff.
I want to say it's not MTM with the... With the
alley cat on the front of it? That's Mary Tyler
Moore. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was at the end. Yeah,
it was Metro -Goldwyn -Mayer. They were the lion
that came on in front of all these Golden Age
movies. Yes. They transitioned to more of a pop
music label. It continued into the 70s. In 1972,
they were sold to Polygram. As part of the deal,
Polygram received perpetual rights. to the MGM
Records name and a 10 -year license to use the
MGM trademark and logo. In 1976, MGM Records,
including its artists, was absorbed into Polygram's
Polydor Records. However, Polygram continued
releasing MGM soundtrack albums and reissues
using the old imprint until 1982. Artists include
the Five Man Electrical Band. They did the song
Signs that was redone by... Tesla. Tesla, yeah.
Grateful Dead, Geordie, which was Brian Johnson's
first band. Yeah, that's right. Yep. The Animals,
C .W. McCall. Yes. He eventually became Mannheim
Steamroller. Yeah. Which is weird to think the
guy doing the CB song. Yeah, the convoy song.
He's the same guy who transitioned into Mannheim
Steamroller. Isn't that weird? Lou Rawls, Roy
Orbison, Love and Spoonful. The Mothers of Invention,
which later became Frank Zappa and the Mothers
of Invention. The Osmonds. Hank Williams Sr.
and Jr. Neil Sadaka, The Righteous Brothers,
and The Velvet Underground. Wow. That's a lot
of good artists. I remember United. United Artists,
UA. Formed in 1957, also to issue movie soundtracks,
because it was a film studio first. Expanded
into other genres, easy listening, jazz, pop,
R &B. In 69, United Artists merged with co -owned
Liberty Records and its subsidiary, Imperial
Records. Then in 71, Liberty UA dropped the Liberty
name in favor of United Artists. And that's how
I remember it, just United Artists. In 1978,
U .A. executives Marty Mogul and Jerry Rubenstein
bought the record company from Transamerica with
a loan from EMI. How incestuous again. Yes. And
then they took over distribution of the label.
So the two executives borrowed money from a different
record label to buy the label they worked for.
If I'm getting that right. Wow, okay, yeah, alright.
And then the official name of the company changed
to Liberty United. but the United Artists Records
name was retained under license. The deal led
to an immediate setback, as the change of ownership
allowed Jet Records, which ELO was a big member
of, to end its relationship with UA and switch
its distribution to CBS, with the Jet back catalog
also transferring to CBS distribution as well.
So just that merger name change meant Jet Records
would no longer earn them a dime. and instead
CBS would get a little bit. Wow. Okay. And then
in response, UA dumped many ELO albums into the
cutout market, and that's where they snip the
corner off the edge of the album cover, and that
ruins its collector value, and it signifies that
this was an album sent back from the distributor
because it couldn't be sold. Oh, yeah, I remember
when they used to do that. Yeah. But UA just
started dumping them on the cutout market. They
were clipping the edges off. I remember those,
yeah. You could get them in the bin. And they're
usually like two or three bucks. Yeah. Which
CBS was unable to prevent. However, CBS reissues
of early ELO albums. That is funny. They could
prevent that. Yep. And then threw out of the
blue in 77, contained copyright notices for United
Artists Music and Records Group. Unable to generate
enough income to cover the loan. Liberty United
Records was sold to EMI, who had given the loan
in 1979 for $3 million. Wow. Would have been
a whole lot more nowadays. Oh, gosh. And then
they assumed the liabilities of $32 million that
was owed. Artists included The Animals, Paul
Anka, The Beatles, Buzzcocks, Canned Heat, Spencer
Davis Group, ELO, Crystal Gale, Bill Haley and
His Comets, not The Comets. Hawkwind, Jan and
Dean, Gordon Lightfoot, Don McLean, Manfred Mann,
Jerry Rafferty, Kenny Rogers, Donna Summer, Ike
and Tina Turner, and Whitesnake. Wow, that's
a lot of big names. And Whitesnake. I love Whitesnake.
And Whitesnake. But overall, the impression I
get from this is you can start a record label
and have an enormous stable of good artists putting
out great music. They're selling a lot, and your
label can still fail. within a few years. And
that has everything to do with all the things
that money is being spent on that don't have
to do with the artists and their music. Parties
and tours and bribes and paying radio station
networks to play the song. People used to go,
payola, that was just in the 50s. No, no, no.
It never went away. It just got sneakier. Well,
payola now exists a lot like this. Let's say
we come in here, right, okay, and we are actually
on a radio station, okay? And we're out in front
of the city market and they give us a little
bit of food, you know, maybe a couple of gift
certificates, right? And we're like, oh my gosh,
man, have you tried this meatloaf here? Oh, whoa,
it's so good. It's actually the best way to market
because you're over here. You know, drool it
all over your meatloaf. And everyone else is,
too. They're like, where's that at? City Market
Coffee? Yeah. They have no idea, like, the main
reason you're doing it is you're getting gift
certificates and free food. Yeah. So that's how
a lot of that goes on. Yeah, yeah. And, you know,
it can be above board product placement. You
get paid for it. But it can also be underhanded
off the books, and nobody has to pay taxes on
it. Oh, no. How many times is you're listening
to a radio station go, oh, man, Blimpy just brought
us by some subs. Oh, my God, they're so good.
Yeah. They know what they're doing. Yeah. The
song, It's a Raid, is off of Ordinary Man by
Ozzy Osbourne. It came out in 2020, one of his
latter works. There was a story behind it. Yeah.
Okay. And I went into it a little bit, but here's
the actual story right here of how he came up
with this song, It's a Raid. It's off an actual
event that happened. Yeah. So it's featuring
Post Malone. on it, and that's where most people
would know it nowadays. Post Malone featured
Ozzy, but it's actually on an Ozzy album. It's
based on a 1972 incident where a high on cocaine
Ozzy accidentally triggered a silent security
alarm at Beller Mansion while recording Black
Sabbath's Volume 4. Thinking it was the air conditioning
button, he called the police, leading to a panic
drug fuel cleanup. I bet. Yes. Get the underage
girls out. The cops are coming. Yes, all that
shit. All that. In 1972, while renting a house
for recording, a heavily intoxicated Ozzy felt
hot and pressed a wall button, mistakenly summoned
the police with a house full of drugs. Realizing
the mistake, Ozzy yelled, it's a raid, grabbed
a large bowl of cocaine, and hid in a bathroom
where he proceeded to ingest the drugs to hide
it from police. I'm going to snort this whole
bowl of coke. Yeah, and he did. The police found
no burglary, deemed it a false alarm, and left,
despite Ozzy being gacked to the gills, according
to this. Producer Andrew Watt thought the story
was hilarious and encouraged turning the experience
into a track which features Post Malone to help
capture the chaotic, frantic energy of the moment.
And it was, like I already said, released in
2020 on Ordinary Man album. That's correct. I
remember an episode of That 70s Show where they
had a similar storyline. It's the four male leads
in the show. It was Eric Foreman and, well, Topher
Grace and Ashton Kutcher and Danny Masterson
and then Wilmer Valderrama as Fez. Yeah. And...
They'd gotten high in Eric's basement, and Kelso
made a stupid high phone call to the White House
asking about a death ray. I remember that. So
then they were paranoid that the White House
and the Secret Service was after them, so they
decided they'd better smoke up all their weed
before the feds got there. And a vacuum cleaner
salesman came to the door, and they thought he
was a spy, and they were just like... hammering
down all this weed. That was one of my favorite
episodes. And the funny thing is, is they could
not show the weed. They could not show the joint.
Nope. They could not show the bong. All they
could show was a circling smoke up in the air.
I don't think they ever showed any of them exhaling
either. No, they didn't. It's just smoke in the
air. They're all giggling in a circle. So it
was like, okay, we know what they're doing. Yeah.
I remember one point Hyde said, man, this is
beginning to feel like work. It was such a...
Classic line. Is that that guy that's in prison?
Yes, he is. Okay. That's what I thought. It captured
perfectly the idea of, you know, I'm already
stoned. I don't want to get any more stoned,
but I have to keep smoking this. It does seem
like work. Yeah, yeah. Yes. The upshot of the,
they mentioned he went wandering out in the neighborhood
and liberated a whole van full of dogs from animal
control and all sorts of mess. That was an ingenious
episode. That was pretty good, yeah. Who knows?
Maybe it was taken from It's a Rain. I don't
know. I wouldn't be surprised. But then again,
there's a lot of stories like that. A lot of
stories where the bands are doing something shady
and thought the cops were after them. It goes
along with cocaine use, this paranoia. Yeah,
yeah. Remember the linebacker Thomas Hollywood
Henderson for the Cowboys? Sure do. Big tall
guy. I think he wore number 72. Trey Henderson's
brother. Yes. Yeah. He dated one of the Poynter
sisters. Oh, wow. I didn't know that. But he
wrote a book about his heavy cocaine use. And
he says he remembers a time after a Cowboys game.
And he just parked out in the parking lot. And
everybody had gone home. And the parking lot
was pretty much empty. But he was crouched on
the floor of the backseat of his car, snorting
cocaine and paranoid that the cops were going
to bust him any moment. Oh, wow. Cocaine and
paranoia definitely go together. Cool. Very cool.
One of the interesting things I remember from
his book was he didn't like to shave, and he
wanted to grow facial hair. But Tom Landry was
running the Cowboys, and he had a policy of no
facial hair for anybody. So... Tom Henderson
went to his doctor and got a doctor's excuse
saying that if he shaved it would make his skin
break out. And he brought that and the coach
said, okay, no problem. And he had a stand -up
meeting with everybody saying, you know, no facial
hair on the Cowboys team unless you're like Tom
Henderson here who brings in the doctor's note
and he's excused. All of a sudden, a lot of the
guys went out and got doctor's notes. Genius.
It was. Genius. Fucking awesome. I remember that
being a pretty fun book to read. I'll have to
read that again. I don't know what it's called,
but Thomas Henderson was the author, of course.
That'd be something I'd like. So, okay. I have
some bullet points. I want the bullet points.
Okay, cool. Is David Lee Roth doing a Corey Feldman?
Wow. Now think about it. Think about it for a
minute. Wow. Because it's easy to say yes, but
he's full of himself. Always has been. He does
weird things. That's a tough question. Yeah,
because his ego and his self -centeredness leads
me to believe that he thinks he's on the top
of his game and he really is the sexiest man
alive still. On the other hand, you've got to
believe now that he's so clueless he doesn't
see what he's doing. Yeah. Oh, that's tough.
I think it's half and half. Yeah, yeah. I think
he does little things to get snippets on the
internet. But I think he actually does think
that people worship him. Well, some idiots do.
Some do, yeah. But he thinks he's cooler than
shit and still got the swag and the look and
all that. I think he still thinks all that, yes.
But I also think that he does certain things
to get on the internet to promote himself. If
I had to pick one or the other, I'd say that
he's not doing a Corey Feldman because he is
so full of himself. But it makes more sense to
say that he's still doing things to play into
the old wrinkly man who can't do it anymore and
using that to his advantage. But he still plays
his hype. Yeah, he's not stupid. He's just very
egotistical. Yes. Wow. That's a good question.
I like that one. I love that one. That's why
I was like, and I wasn't even going to do the
bullet points at that time. I'm like, uh -uh,
I'm on a roll. Yeah. All right, this next one's
a good one, too. Okay. Will all the antitrust
lawsuits change the concert industry? Not enough,
in my opinion, but go ahead. Yeah, yeah. I tend
to think we'll get some, like, cosmetic changes
that seem to work, but... The implementation
of those changes will be put off long enough.
Pardon me? Oh, it's almost 1 o 'clock. I think
the concert industry is going to know in advance
what changes are coming, and they'll be given
enough time to shift their money -making into
different areas so they can eventually comply
with the law and still be raking in the money
under the table the way they always are. Okay.
Yeah, I think so, too. It'll change, but not
in a meaningful way for us. Yeah, that's the
way I looked at it, too, is it's going to change,
but not like we want it to, not as much as we
want it to. Yeah. All right. What band would
you like to see make one final tour? Do you think
they got enough in them just to do it and then
go? Good question. You know, I think Elton could
do one more tour. I think so, too. Because he
still can sing reasonably well, and he can play.
I think David Gilmour could do a tour as a solo
artist. Oh, that's a good one. Not Pink Floyd,
but as a solo artist, he definitely could do
it. Let me think here. Judas Priest. Judas Priest,
definitely. Definitely, because Rob Halford's
got all of his skill. I know. He could probably
go on for a while. I mean, he's not just going
to lose it just like that. I think Anthrax. Yeah,
definitely Anthrax. Yeah, Joey Belladonna can
still sing pretty well. Let me think here. Who
else? Megadeth, I think. Dave Mustaine's okay.
He doesn't have that type of voice where he really
needs that much. Yeah, he's saying he's got medical
conditions that are affecting his ability to
play and sing. But they also said that their
final tour here is going to last three to five
years. I know. Well, it's just like Deep Purple's
long, slow goodbye. Yeah. Now I know why they
would never call it a retirement tour. It's because
it was never meant that way. Yeah. Leave the
door open. It's been like seven years running.
It is a long, slow goodbye. It's still going
on. Yeah. They were interrupted by COVID, though,
for a little bit. Yeah, I'm not sure I can think
of anybody else. Kiss could do it. Paul Stanley,
whenever he was on, he sounded fine. He had down
moments, but I think Kiss, if they didn't already
do the end of the road, I think they could do
another one. Let me see. I think Dire Straits
could probably do it. They probably sell a lot.
Yes, yep. But I haven't heard a thing from Mark
Knopfler in ages. No, I haven't either. I don't
know if he's even really interested. I'm still
astounded by the way that they can, on, oh shit,
Money for Nothing, they say the F word, as in
according to a gay male, on there several times,
and nobody ever edits it. I know. It is odd.
Oh, I've seen it bleeped out in reaction videos.
Oh, okay, I could see that, but on the radio
I hear it all the time. Look at Little F, he's
a millionaire, look at the hair he did in Wake
Up. Now, I've seen a number of British films
from decades ago, but even some current where
they use the F word to refer to a cigarette.
Ozzy does in all of his books. Yeah. There's
a really old song, Pack Up Your Troubles in Your
Old Kit Bag and Smile, Smile, Smile. The second
line to that is, while there's a Lucifer to light
your fag, smile, boys, that's the style. Lucifer
meaning a match and fag meaning a cigarette.
Oh, yeah. But at the time, everyone knew exactly
what they were talking about. Oh, as long as
I got a match to light my cigarette, everything's
fine. Well, I got one for you. I forgot who it
was. It was like a record company executive or
something thought Ozzy was gay because he kept
coming in and saying, oh, I got about 10 fags.
He meant cigarettes. Yeah, he meant cigarettes.
Yeah. And the lady's like, oh, okay. I hope you're
careful. And she eventually learned that he was
talking about cigarettes, but she thought, man,
I think this guy is very promiscuous and better
watch it. There is also a British movie that
is set in World War II. I think it was made in
the 50s or 60s. I can't remember the name of
it. It was very famous and very well known. war
movie concentrating on the Royal Air Force. And
they have a mascot dog at the airstrip who is
a black rat Labrador. And his name is the N -word.
And they call him that all through the movie.
So you're constantly hearing a word that rhymes
with digger. And they're talking about the dog.
And they never bleep that. If they show the movie,
they don't bleep it. So most networks just won't
show the movie. But it's available on video and
streaming and it's unedited. They still leave
that word in. Wow. Isn't that crazy? Yeah, that
is. And it's not like that was slang for anything
else because they were talking about a completely
black dog and using that word. They knew what
they were doing. Yes. They knew exactly what
they were doing. Even Blazing Saddles, they get
edited highly. But at least Blazing Saddles,
it was all done for humor. It was joking, yes.
Yeah. And in Quentin Tarantino movies, it's done
as slang or for effect. I mean, Quentin Tarantino
said the N -word about 100 times more than anybody
else on the planet. Yeah. But he gets it pretty
fast. Yeah. But in this old war movie, it was
just casually thrown in as the name. Imagine
having a pet name, you know, something horrible
like... Dago or something. Or Spick. Yeah. Now,
remember the product called Spick and Spam? Yeah.
They don't call that anymore. What's it called
now? I don't think they even make it anymore.
Imagine having a racial slur as the name of your
project. They'd probably be pissed. It's like,
we had our name and now these fuckers hijacked
it. There used to be a weight loss candy called
AIDS. Yeah, A -Y -D -S. AIDS would help you lose
weight. They're no longer around. That was horrible.
You can look them up on the Internet. It's A
-Y -D -S. And the reason I know about it is because
my mom had them for a while. Yeah. And I used
to eat them. But she wasn't looking because they
tasted like chocolate. And, of course, South
Park did a whole episode where Jared Vogel was
telling people, yeah, I lost weight because I
have AIDS. And he meant A -I -D -E -S, people
who helped him. Oh, yeah. But everyone thought
he was talking about the disease. And he kept
saying, yeah, I want to go out and give a bunch
of children AIDS so they can lose weight. And
they were like, you monster. Which, in real life,
he was. He really was. But in the context of
the show, it was all just a misunderstanding.
But that's how they got away with calling him
a diseased pedophile on the show. The funny thing
is, they are the perfect example of illustration
through the absurd. Yes. They make it so absurd
that it's not... It's not believable. At the
same time, it has a message that is explaining
something that's going on that's not far off
from what they're explaining. They're brilliant.
Always have been. I remember back when I used
to argue with people about things. I don't anymore
because it's pointless. It's pointless. There
was a woman who was talking about how important
it was to hire based on ethnicity and minority
status. regardless as if they're qualified. Yeah.
And she was all for that and thought it was a
great idea and thought that everybody should
do it. And I said, okay, if one of your grandchildren
is going in for open heart surgery, do you want
the doctor who earned his way there or the doctor
who was hired because he filled a minority slot?
Who do you want operating on your grandchild?
And she wouldn't answer. What? That's just absurd.
That would never happen. No. Because she's in
denial because she knew she couldn't honestly
say the thing that would reinforce her views.
She would have to admit, no, I want the doctor
who's qualified. That's a great example, actually.
Or also EMTs. Uh -oh, they can't lift this guy
up and put him on a gurney, so he's just going
to lay there for a few minutes while they call
another person out there, and then in that time
he's probably going to die. It's also effective
with airline pilots. If you got on an airplane
and you're going to be flying for hours, do you
want your pilot to be a very well -qualified,
well -checked out? Or do you want your pilot
to be somebody who got his or her job through
backdoor channels or the good old boy network
or because they filled a quotient? Yeah. No,
you want it. You want, yeah. You want the most
qualified. When it's your life, when it's your
risk to take, you want all those things to be
done exactly right. And that's a problem in politics,
too. Yeah. A bunch of people. Anyhow, we'll go
on. All right, how about will rock music ever
make a comeback with younger people? In a different
form. I think it will in a different form. It
might be like in R &B or it might be in country
or it might be all together. But right now you
see a lot of rock or a lot of R &B and country
mixed together doing very well. I could see someone
going, hey. You know, kind of like Aerosmith
did with Run DMC, which really brought Aerosmith
back to prominence. Yeah, it really saved their
asses. Yeah, it did. I could see it. I think,
yeah, but not in its current form. Yeah, I go
back to a quote from Alice Cooper, who said that
rock is always done better when it's the outsider,
not the main thing. And when it's the main thing,
it gets bloated and fat. The money leeches come
in. Yeah. But when rock's the outsider, do whatever
it wants. Doesn't have to please anybody. That
is the best way. That's where you get the most
truest, purest forms of music the best. Yeah.
So I would see, as you say, coming in in a different
form, but with the same attitude of rock and
rock and roll and embracing the outsider atmosphere
or the outsider image. And that's how come, like,
when Guns N' Roses had Ice -T open up for them
in Body Count, It worked. It was the same attitude.
Just different people in a different form of
music. I liked Ice -T. I did too. I like this
music. I still do. I can still listen to some.
Or my favorite song is Evil Dick. That thing.
He was talking about Richard Nixon, right? Yeah,
yeah, yeah. Don't sleep alone, don't sleep alone,
don't sleep alone. Evil. Dick. You know, he's
talking about trying to be good, and then all
of a sudden, late at night, his dick comes to
him and says, hey, hey, don't sleep alone. Brilliant
song, especially for teenagers like me. Yeah.
Like, oh, ah, there, that justifies it. Yeah.
Not my fault. So, okay, yeah, we agree with that.
Do you trust the music charts? No. Me neither.
No. Especially nowadays. It's all digital. It
can be gerrymandered or whatever the hell they
want. Yeah. And I think they do that. I think
they do that. Even if they showed me all the
numbers and all the results directly, I still
wouldn't believe it. No. No. Someone made those.
It's like the Grammys were on last night or the
night before. I have no interest in knowing who
won what because it's all bought and paid for.
The people who won paid for the winning. And
the people who lost didn't pay enough. You'll
get voted in if you pay not. I think the Rock
and Roll Hall of Fame is the same. I know for
absolutely sure that the Walk of Fame in Hollywood,
you pay to get in. There's no voting. They take
out the ones that don't pay. Go ahead, I'm sorry.
The only voting they do is they have a list of
people who are willing to pay to get someone's
name on, and they take the highest paying ones.
There's no earning it. It's always been a joke.
It's just pony up the money and then pay every
year for maintenance, and once they stop paying,
they jackhammer them up and throw them away.
They don't even sell them, which they could.
They always sell them to collectors, but no,
they just jackhammer them up to make room for
the next person who's actually going to pay.
So it's a meaningless so -called honor to have
your name on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Yeah,
and the Grammys are the same way. I agree. All
right. A list of top three or four assholes in
the music industry. Wow. Many people would say
Gene Simmons. Yeah. I think Paul Stanley's one
of them, too. In past years, many people would
say Frank Sinatra. Yeah, yeah, definitely. Roger
Waters. Yes. Absolutely Roger Waters. Rono. Yeah.
Eddie Vedder. Oh, my God, yes. Obnoxious asshole.
Yeah, yeah. You know, it's starting to look like
that guy has always been not necessarily a poser,
but he's never been genuine. It's always been
an act. Always been an act. Yeah. And Nirvana
called him out early. Yeah, they did. As fakers
and posers, et cetera. And then they recanted.
Said, no, no, I guess he's okay. He's got some
passion. He's legit. But they were told to. Yeah,
they were told to by the Wrecker Company. Yeah.
It's like, quit wrecking our profits. Yeah. Or
we're going to come wreck your profits. Yeah.
But yeah, Eddie Vedder has always been whatever
the situation needed him to be, but none of it
has been from the heart. Bruce Springsteen. Oh,
my God, yes. Oh, yeah. John Mellencamp. John
Mellencamp is really hard to get along with.
John Lennon was also... He was miserable. Yeah,
and half of it was Yoko. The other half was he
had a fucked up childhood. Yeah, he was still
pretty much of an asshole on his own too. Yeah,
he was very capable. I would not put Ozzy in
that list because he was just fun. I mean, no
matter what he did, he did it with joy and abandon
and humor. Business -wise, it's Sharon, and you
can say whatever you want. Well, yeah. But she's
not in the band. Oh, Ginger Baker from Cream.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Monstrous asshole. In fact,
he physically threatened violence upon his band
members. The bass player, Jack Bruce, couldn't
stand him. Wow. He said, we were in the band,
the music was great, but as a human being, I
couldn't stand him. He was a son of a bitch,
he was an asshole, and I was literally in fear
for my safety. Uh -huh. Because he was so out
of control, he would have attacked. That's not
because he's a ginger, but I'm sure that didn't
help. And he wasn't a baker either. No. Now,
my youngest son is a ginger. Yeah. And he's got
a temper. Dave Mustaine is a ginger. He's got
a temper. Not saying it's always related, but
every now and then it seems to coincide. Yeah,
that's true. Now my son Jeffrey is a wonderful
person, and I love him dearly. And he can get
angry in a hurry. He can. Very cool. All right.
Do you have a streaming music service currently?
Currently I've been using YouTube Music. I like
that about the best. I chose them because they
have access to just about everything. Whereas
plays like Spotify and Pandora, there's stuff
you just can't get on there. No, they don't recognize
it. They don't find it. Some of the more obscure
or out there bands all type in to the search
and they're like, eh. You can still get Motley
Crue, Motley Crue. I'm talking about not the
Too Fast for Love. I'm talking about the only
one with John Kravik, which they tried to stamp
out. Yeah. You can still find that on YouTube.
There's some excellent songs on there. Oh, it
was one of their better albums. Every time Welcome
to the Numb comes on, I crank that up. Oh, that's
a great song. Yeah, and Power to the Music, the
opening track. Yeah, that's good. Uncle Jack.
Uncle Jack. Dropping Like Flies. Poison Apples
is good. Poison Apples, I love that. That is
an Aerosmith -ish song. I love it. When I was
in a cover band in the 90s, we did Hooligan's
Holiday. I love that one, too. And Misunderstood.
Misunderstood's a great one. But the odd thing
was, every time we played them live, people really
loved the song but had no idea who was it. And
we said, it's Motley Crue. That's pretty much
true. Really? Is that like an old one? I said,
no, it's current. It's out now. Go turn it into
MTV. They were still playing videos at the time.
I said, your videos are on MTV. It's hard to
believe they went from that to the very next
one they had was Generation Swine. No. No direction.
Nothing. Nothing. Gosh. I'm sure the album before
Kiss's The Elder came out was probably a good
one. It was. And the one after was probably a
good one. But they had that steaming turd right
in the middle. I think it was Unmasked was before
The Elder. It wasn't very commercially successful.
It was still kind of disco -ish. Yeah. But it
was a great album. And then they decided to do
that mutant movie track. Yeah, anyhow, it's good
if you don't expect Kiss. Yeah, if you didn't
know it was Kiss and couldn't tell it was Kiss,
you might like it alright. Yes, but you knowing
it's Kiss is like, fuck you. Yeah, imagine if
Megadeth came out and played Lawrence Wilk. About
the same. And employed it the way Lawrence Welk
played it. Yeah. He'd be like, uh -uh. No, no,
no, no. This is a nightmare. Stop it. The only
song I like that has attitude is You're Not Well,
Mr. Blackwell, You Can Go to Hell. Gene Simmons
talking about a former boss. Yeah. But it was
made for the movie, so yeah. That was about it
for me because that had attitude and it had that
Gene Simmons attitude, defiance. Yeah. Who would
be the best guitarist as of today? Not yesterday,
not the day before. You know, ones that are still
alive and active. I've got to put Nuno Betancourt
up there. Yes, he would be my first. Wolfgang
Van Halen. Yeah. He's pretty insane. I cannot
believe how good he is. And he never... And I
know why. He didn't want to be compared to his
father, but now he's so many years removed, and
so many albums removed, he's like, why not? And
really, any similarity, you can put directly
down to, well, that was his dad. That's what
he grew up hearing. Of course he's going to sound
like him in some ways, but you know he's not
ripping him off. You can tell. He's not ripping
off his dad or band hand. He's potentially doing
everything completely different. Yeah. And also
his voice. Yeah. He's a good singer, too. Let's
see. Another really, really, really good guitar
player. Let's see, as of today, Zach Wild, of
course. Zach Wild still got it. Phil Collin.
Phil Collin, yeah. Vivian Campbell. Yes, yes,
yes, yes, yes. Jakey Lee, you could still consider
him a good guitarist, even though he has a lot
of ailments that kind of prevents him. Dick Wagner's
dead. Steve Hunter, if he's still going, he plays
amazing blues -based music. Marty Feldman? Yeah.
Marty Friedman. Friedman. Yeah, not Feldman.
Friedman. Jason Becker, but I think he's about
dead. Yeah. Yeah, he's got ALS maybe. Let's see.
Who else? There's a lot of them I'm not even
thinking of. Steve Vai, of course. Yeah. Yngwie's
still good, but an asshole. Yeah. Joe Satriani,
of course. Gilmore's still really... David Gilmore,
yeah. Yeah. Just his inventiveness. And the way
he gets these sounds, and then he uses them to
such perfection. Oh, I know. He'll sit there
and do things with a note, and that is David
Gilmour. And nobody else. And you hear it go,
that sounds like David Gilmour. And then you
look at the title, and that is David Gilmour.
It's weird to think that so many times when he's
soloing, he's using really, really high gain.
Isn't that weird? I mean, heavy metal style high
gain. He's got the fuzz pedal that he really
loves. So it's just that really hot, hot signal.
It just sounds perfect. I mean, he uses it to
perfection. Yeah. All right. I mean, we can move
on from that. There's more, but, I mean, there's
so many out there that are really good. You know,
it's really hard to. There's even, like, Taboshi.
Taboshi. Not very well known, but he's a rhythm
lead guy. Very interesting. Look him up if you
ever get a time. Yeah. Forte slash, what's his
name, Jimmy? No, Michael Forte. All right. Mick
Mars versus Motley Crue, was the verdict fair?
You know, if the video I watched was correct
about everything, then Mick Mars basically did
this to himself. Yes. That's kind of what I'm
gathering into this, too. Yeah. And the members
of Motley Crue, well, Tommy and Nicky, because
Vince doesn't have anything to do with it. And
neither does John. They knew all along. And they
kept their mouths shut because why tell somebody
in advance exactly how you're going to crush
them? And they let it go to this point and then
sprang that out. Say, uh -uh, lucky here. From
what I understand, way back when, when the members
of Motley Crue were signing another management
deal, A business deal. Mick was getting a 25
% share. But Mick wanted the language written
in that anybody who retires from touring will
be considered retiring from the band. They were
labeled as a retiring officer of the corporation.
And will be divested of all their offices and
all the corporations. And their share will go
from 25 % down to 5%. And just all these restrictions,
and Mick put that in there because he thought
Tommy, Nicky, and Vince and their drug addictions,
he thought they were going to be the ones quitting
touring, and that way he'd wind up with full
control of the band. But it happened the other
way around. Mick Mars' ankylosing spondylitis,
his AS, basically forced him out of touring.
He told them, I don't want to do the day after
eight, night after night, living on the bus.
I'll do the residencies, I'll do the one -off
shows, I'll do the specials and the benefits,
but, like, the daily grind of touring, I just
can't do it anymore. And also, supposedly, he
had a lot of trouble playing. Yeah. And, you
know, a lot of his ailment had to do with that
age, probably, too. He is a little bit older
than the rest of them. So, yeah, you know what?
I mean, I don't owe Nicky an apology. He's been
a dick enough in other areas to where I justify
him on my statements about him. Yeah. Right there?
I didn't know the whole story. Yeah, yeah. They
were within their legal rights to do it the way
they did it, but it's still a dick move. Yeah,
it's still a dick move, yes. But also, I think
that he brought some of it on with some of the
language that he made them use in the legal stuff.
So he kind of got just desserts. Yeah, and he
has to pay back the tour advances he got. Yeah,
because he didn't play all those. Yeah, the tour
in which he quit on, nobody else took advances.
Nick Mars took advances. And he has never paid
that money back. Which tells me that he might
be in financial trouble. Especially since his
share has gone way down to 5 % for songwriting.
And nobody gives a shit about Motley Crue anymore.
And all of his income from all their other organizations
and corporations and LLCs, it's gone. He's out.
By retiring from touring. That was, it triggered
the clause that said, okay, you're out of everything
then. Yeah. You'll get 5%. And isn't that odd
that he's the one that commanded that too? He's
the one who made sure that language is in there.
Yeah. Yeah. He got stabbed by his own sword.
Yep, he did. Well, you know what? That's the
way it goes. Yeah. All right. Will John V leave
Motlin? Yes. Yes. I think he's really close to
right now. Yeah, I keep seeing articles saying
that John 5's rank -and -file fans really think
he's slumming and wasting time and wasting energy.
It's like, you could be putting out good music,
but you're doing this instead. We're starting
to not like you anymore. Yeah, you know, if Motley
Crue were like they were back before, where they're
putting out good music, he would have been a
great fit, even though I don't think he has any
feeling and I'm not a huge fan. He would be fine.
He would be fine. But the thing is, it looks
to be like they're relying on AI to do anything.
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Allegedly. No, not really. But you do get the
poster. Out. So, do you think Rob Zombie's going
to want him back? I think he'd take him back.
I think he'd take him back. I think he did have
some ill feelings though, didn't he? Yeah. I
still take the business to business. True. And
John 5 was perfect for what he does. Yeah. Yeah,
not so much for what Motley does, but for what
he does. Yeah. Yeah. And then returning to Rob
Zombie would be a good way to rehabilitate his
image, John 5's image. Yes. It's like, okay,
I'm back where I belong. An album later and a
tour later, his fans will have forgiven him and
say, okay, I'll just forgive him and let's go.
Yeah. Yeah, he's... It can be a trap going after
the immediate gain financially, popularity -wise,
getting your face and image and getting everyone
to know who you are. But then putting out the
stuff that Motley Crue's been putting out, their
last album was garbage, and all the negative
feeling towards them. I don't think he's getting
nearly as much as he thought he would from associating
with Monaco. I agree. I agree. I can imagine
John Fives' management is telling him, we've
got to get out. Let's figure out a graceful exit
strategy, but you've got to get out of this.
You see, he's really good friends with Nicky,
so I think it's got to be done very carefully,
and it will be. Yeah, I would be paranoid to
quit and have them come after me. I would too,
yeah. You've got to really, really carefully
look over the contract you signed. They went
after Carabi. They went after everybody that
is an ex, per se. Vince Neil, when he was gone,
they went after him. When they brought him back,
he's only a higher performer. So they have a
history of kind of like gouging anybody they
could, in my opinion. I think in order to make
a clean break, John 5 would have to sign a statement
saying that upon leaving the band, you don't
owe me another dime for anything ever. even if
the contract says you do, I forego, I decline,
just whatever money is made by on this point,
it's all yours, not mine. Then I think Motley
Crue would leave him alone. Yeah, I think that,
like, okay, he would probably go to, this is
the way I envision it, and tell me if you think
I'm right or wrong. He would first go to Rob
Zombie. Yeah. He'd call and go, hey, this isn't
working out, I'm sorry, I thought it was going
to be a good fit. I think he calls him Bobby.
Bobby. Yeah, probably. Let's see. All right.
You be Rob Zombie, okay? Okay. Ring, ring, ring.
Hello. Hey, remember me? Oh, yeah. Jack Four
or something like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. John
Five. Oh, yeah. Okay. Yeah. Well, Bobby. Can
I call you Bobby? Sure. Okay. Bobby, this month,
please don't laugh. Okay. I'll try not to laugh.
Yeah, okay, so the Smiley thing really isn't
working out like it should. I told you so. Damn
it. You laughed. Was that a yes or a no? That
was an okay. That's how it's going to go. Yeah.
Okay. Yeah, I think there would have to be a
little bit of crawling, a little ass kissing,
a little. A little apologizing. Maybe a rub and
tug in there. Yeah. But if Rob Zombie thinks
he can make money with John 5, he'll take it
back. He will. That's what I'm talking about
right there. Because first and foremost, it's
a business. Yeah. I would put Rob Zombie up there
in the category of people who are extremely smart
in the business aspect. Yes. But have not compromised
the entertainment and musical side. Kind of like
Taylor Swift. Her music has not suffered. from
her business business side yeah i mean she's
got tons of investments she's she's heavily involved
in a lot of the financial decisions but she still
writes and performs music that sells outrageously
and everyone wants to come here yeah no she's
doing it right i think rob zombie's doing it
right he's not burning any bridges he's not being
a dick but he's holding people accountable he's
like all right well i'll take you back but here's
what you did to me so here's how it's got to
work And you can't really get bent about that
because he's being reasonable. And his percentage
probably would be much lower this time around,
too, and all that. But, you know. Okay. And also,
Rob Zombie is just really touring anymore like
most of them. I don't think he's put out music
in, what, 15 years maybe or something? It's been
a while. I mean, Dragula's the last one I remember.
That's probably over 20 years, actually. Okay.
And it's funny to think that he started with
White Zombie. Mm -hmm. So... All right, that
is all I had of bullet points, but I have some
other stuff. Okay, I've got a supplementary bullet
point. Okay. Is in five, six years, how do you
see the touring industry going? Are we going
to have lots of tours of various styles and sizes,
or is it all going to be the big mega tours?
I think it's all going to be big mega tours.
And here's one of the reasons is people like
me that have been avid concert goers for years,
love concerts, are done. Yeah. And that's because
of constantly getting fucked over concerts. Yes,
absolutely. I mean, over and over. And the thing
is, the bottom line is, is if they don't make
enough money in advance to work with, they're
not doing it. Yeah. And then instead of giving
us our money back like... fucking decent people
would be. They're going, well, we got credit
right here. I don't want to go to another fucking
concert. I'm tired of you guys. I'm done with
you shysters. It's over. I want my money back.
I don't want to go to another fucked up concert.
I'm done with it. And this is all because of
them and how they're doing business. And I think
a lot of people are like me. I know you are too.
I don't want nothing to do with it unless it's
a really small event like a knuckleheads and
you don't deal with ticket bastards and all those
assholes. I can see a common music fan who goes
to concerts and is like 20, 25, 30 years old.
They don't have time and energy to devote to
like 10 or 15 different bands that they follow.
It's just like one or two big name acts. Oh,
Taylor. Oh, Jelly Roll. Oh, whoever. And when
they tour, they're going to go because it's an
event. It's something to brag about. They're
not going for the music necessarily. It's like,
oh, well, I can't be seen not going to this,
so I have to be seen going there. It's more of
a personal appearance on the fans' part and bragging
rights. You and I and people closer to our age,
they go to concerts because we want to see the
band. We want to hear them play live. We want
to experience that and pretend, hey, this is
how it sounded in the studio when they were recording
it. And it's a great experience. But huge production
concerts, you're hearing backing tracks and sequence
tracks and pre -programmed everything. There's
no live to it at all. It's just the person you
want to see is actually physically standing there,
but everything you're hearing is canned. And
for a lot of people, that's good enough. And
for the people that's not good enough, we're
just going to have to stop because they're not
going to give us what we want. That's a part
that I forgot I didn't even put in there. Besides
getting dicked over all the time. But yeah, most
of it isn't live anymore. Especially the big
megatours. Everything is backtracked or lip synced
or all of it. There's a YouTube channel called
Wings of Pegasus and this guy... uses uh technology
to isolate vocal tracks yes and demonstrates
that this is exactly the same as this one which
is exactly the same as the example he gave was
the eagles and that song seven bridges road which
has all those harmonies you told me about that
i went and i checked that out and there's no
possible way it could all be exactly the same
yeah it's yeah it's the same song yeah he showed
the spectrographic analysis of the vocals and
here's the exact pitches the vocals are hitting
at this exact time. And he said, okay, let's
go back to six months earlier at this show and
then a year and a half earlier at this show.
And he overlaid all three of them and they're
identical, which is impossible for humans to
do. It's impossible, yeah. You know, different
venues, different equipment. Even twice, let
alone three times. Yeah, there's no way they
could do it that way. So when you go to an Eagles
concert and spend, you know, $1 ,500 to $2 ,000
on a ticket. you're hearing a recording. Yeah.
The people are actually standing out there and
sitting in front of you live, but all they're
doing is taking up space while you listen to
a recording. Yeah. And if that's good enough,
then, you know, enjoy. Not good enough for me.
But you should be aware of what's actually happening.
You're not hearing any live music whatsoever.
Even the most disciplined, accomplished musician
cannot do the exact same signature everything
twice in a row. Yeah. It's impossible physically
for us to do that. To give an example, I forget
the drummer's name, but he got hired on with
Chicago. And in a modern drummer magazine, they
did an old write -up on him. I think his first
name began with a T, Trey, Terry, something like
that. I think any other way. But they were trying
to give an example of how excellent his timing
was. And the example they gave was they had a
recording from a Chicago... concert where he
was performing you know this certain song like
25 or 64 and then they went back on the on the
same tour to a different recording of him performing
that same song and this is without using a click
track but his his beat was off by only about
a tenth of a second Wow. But even as good as
he was and precise as he was, he couldn't come
any closer than a tenth of a second. That's still
amazing if you think about it. Yeah. But you're
going to tell me Glenn Frey and Don Henley are
being absolutely dead on perfect, note after
note, night after night, song after song? Uh
-huh. They're not that talented. No, they're
not. And I wouldn't expect them to be. No, no,
no. They're human beings. Yeah, that wasn't like
a slight. No, no. They're perfectly talented
and wonderful musicians. It's just... They're
not a digital recording. And what you're hearing
is a digital recording. Yeah. Good point. If
I'm going to see live acts again, I'm going to
be damn sure it's actual live musicians playing
live music and no recordings. Yeah. That's my
bottom line. Me too. And if I have to miss a
bunch of acts, okay. Yeah, same here. I don't
care. Yeah, me too. No, I'm going to miss a bunch
of acts. I'm fine being picky and missing out.
And that's the big difference. You and I don't
have fear of missing out. I see a lot of people
whose lives are completely ruled by, oh my God,
I've got to do it first. Or if anyone else is
doing it, I've got to do it too. The only thing
I'm missing out on, I feel I'm missing out on,
is a goat show. No, no, no, a horse show in Mexico.
No, a donkey show. Donkey show, yeah. That's
the only thing I'm ever missing out on because
I'll probably never see one. Yeah, yeah. But
other than that, I don't really think I'm missing
out on anything. There was a line in the song.
I look out the shades of my window, and I see
a girl on a donkey, but she's riding away, so
no love today. And I knew exactly what he meant.
Yes. No, a guy I used to work with, he lived
in San Diego, and I was in Ensenada, Mexico,
on a stop on a cruise, and I sent him a couple
of pictures. And he started sending me directions
to go to a donkey show. And I'm like, I could
have went, but I was like, no. No, I don't want
to go see that. That's all right. There was,
back in my college days, my brother John was
a year ahead of me. And one of his friends went
with him on a walking and hitchhiking tour through
Central America and South America. and they went
down to El Paso on the bus and then just walked
across the border and relied on buses and hitchhiking
to get around. Wow, that's scary. Yeah, that's
ballsy. Remember they said they wound up in Belize
staying on the beach? They kind of lived like
homeless people. They just went all the way down
there hitchhiking. Yeah, yeah. Now that is dangerous.
But he said at one point, I forget which country
he said, but they were invited to a donkey show,
and they both went. And they both watched. And
at the time, he was still drinking. He thought
it was funny as hell. Now he would probably be
pretty embarrassed about it. And it's probably
not something he wants to remember. And you know
what? And another thing is, even if I wasn't
with Val, I wouldn't have went and saw it. No.
That's not something I really want to go see.
No, no. Yeah, like you, I've learned that you
see things long after you've seen them. And they
affect you. I don't want that in my memory banks.
You're showing up in your dreams. I don't want
to explain that to God. No. What were you doing
here, Mark? Okay, where's hell? Give me directions.
Get on the bus over there with Bill Gates and
Bill Cosby. Oh, no. Do I have to pick that one?
Can I pick another one? Oh, there's one with
Charles Manson. Can I have him? Yeah, sure. There
was an episode of Two and a Half Men where Charlie
Sheen had his brother, Emilio Estevez, guest
star on the show. That's funny. And he played
the role of one of Charlie's hard -partying buddies
who died of a heart attack, who came back to
him during the funeral and was talking to him.
And he's like, oh, you're here. He said, yeah,
they let me out of hell for a few minutes so
I could come up and talk. And he's like, oh,
you're in hell? He's like, oh, yeah, oh, yeah.
He had no doubt about it. He was saying, in hell,
you daily get a pitchfork up the ass. But if
you don't show up on time for it, you don't get
the lube. And he said, believe me, you want the
lube. And then later he said, you know what?
Spit. The devil's spit is the lube. But he said
it's still better than not getting it. I bet
it's hot, too. I bet it's boiling hot. Yeah.
It's just hilarious as hell seeing Emilio Estevez
down there. He's like, oh, yeah, I get a pitchfork
up the ass all the time. He's like, you want
it with the lube. Let me tell you. Funny, this
just reminded me of this. The far side. Remember
that? Gary Larson. One of my favorite ones was
Graffiti in Hell. It has a picture of Satan is
a great conversationalist and a really nice guy.
And I love Satan. He gave my daughter a gift.
It has a picture of Satan there with his arms
in his hair going, no, no. He's just greatly
misunderstood. Yes, and he's like, Satan's down
there going, no. That's pretty good. It is. Oh,
speaking of Ensenada, I was going to tell you
about that. Actually, I think it's Ensenada.
I call it Ensenada. But anyhow, he said that,
and also I know another guy that said the same
thing. Down there at the whorehouses, he used
to frequent them. He used to go to what he called
Tijuana. And they used to cross the border, and
they'd go down there to whorehouses. And he said
no one would ever use rubbers at all, and no
one came out with any diseases. And he said,
He believes it. The reason none of them got diseases
was is they came out that when you got done,
you went to the back leaving, and there's this
bottle of tequila that you dripped all over your
penis and killed anything that was on it. He
swore up and down that that worked. He said,
man, he said, I was there many times and never
caught anything. My friend was there many times.
People we brought were there many times, and
none of them ever caught anything. Do you believe
that? Yeah, alcohol will very violently suck
the moisture out of anything. Then that might
be it. I mean, yeah, it's like sitting there
thinking and going, is that true? Sometimes doctors
will shrink a cancerous tumor by injecting alcohol
directly into it. Yeah, that's a good point.
And it dries it right up and makes it small.
Yeah, that's right. Okay. Now it'll plump back
up again, but while it's small, you can go in
and take it out. Yes. So it's extremely effective
at drying things. Then maybe that's true. It
may be true, yeah. I got a few lists here that
I thought would be really cool to do. Yeah. Okay,
this is from the Cambridge, I believe, or maybe
it was Oxford. One of the, you know, Webster's
the main one still. Yeah. Oxford, Cambridge,
then there's other ones like... The urban dictionaries
online that claim new words and terms all the
time. For a while there was a New American dictionary.
Yeah, that's right. And that's the one where
I got all the ones from that one time that were
just fucking nuts. Yeah. And then there's another
fringe group called the New American Urban Library
of America. Yeah, I remember that. Yeah. And
they were so bizarre in some of their stuff.
They were trying to come up with, they were trying
to popularize. They weren't saying, oh, this
one is popular. They were coming up with ones
and trying to get us to adopt them because they
already own the copyright on them. Yes, yeah.
I think they're gone now. I haven't seen them
in a year and a half or something. Okay, if you're
dealing with a professionally sedentary colleague,
it can be frustrating. But a little humor usually
makes the shift go faster. Depending on your
office culture and just how relaxed they are,
here are a few nicknames. Ranging from lightheartedness
to a little bit more pointed. So these are things
they say you can use without saying the person
is a worthless piece of shit. Yeah. All right.
The first one is the physics group. Physics is
in quotations. These names focus on absolute
lack of movement or laws of nature they seem
to defy. Yeah. That's pretty good. I like that.
So the physics, that's the physics group. The
people are just nothing. Static. Because they
never move. Yeah. That's a good one. I like this
one. The glazier. They spend all day staring
through windows or at screens without actually
touching anything. I love that. How about GeForce?
They act like they're being pinned to their chair
by 9 G's of atmospheric pressure. That's good.
I love it. This next one's even better, and this
one's easy to identify. The human speed bump.
Oh. Everyone has to work around them to get the
job done. Yeah. I love that. The next one is
the invisibles. I think you know where it's going,
but I love this one too. For the co -worker is
a master of the disappearing act. Yeah. The moment
work appears. Well, I know a lot of them. Yeah.
They're good at telling you what needs to be
done, but when it's getting done, they ain't
nowhere around. Yeah. So, the next one is the
ghost. Your story's about them, but rarely do
you actually see them working. Yes. I heard a
story once that they did some work a long time
ago. Yeah, but I have no actual proof on video
or paper of such. The next one is the Caspian.
Caspian. No, I think it's Caspian. C -A -S -P
-I -A -N. It's like the Caspian Sea. Yeah, yep.
As in the prince. Oh, okay. Okay, all right.
Because they seem to live in a fictional land
far away from reality. I like that. I like that
a lot. That might be one of my favorites. The
name threw me off, though, because I was thinking
something different, but I never thought about
the prince. This next one. The Houdini. We all
know the Houdini. Yeah. They vanish into thin
air the second a meeting ends or a task is assigned.
And... That's it, I guess, of these. That's all
the new terms that... I came up with my own.
I think it was Cambridge. How about Disneylander?
Oh, yeah. That's the people who think that they're
entitled to endless fun and entertainment at
work. Yes. The Disneylander. Yep. Well, I'm here
at work. Don't I get to play and enjoy myself
and have fun? Well, no, you're supposed to do
the work. You're such an asshole. I'm thinking
about making a bid out of this. Yeah. Okay. But
I like the Disneylander. I worked with a lot
of Disneylanders at the post office. I like that
a lot. The Disneylander. Expect entertainment.
And fun. There was a guy I remember carrying
mail with that was extremely slow. Uh -huh. I
remember he and I got along so I could make jokes
about him. He didn't get his feelings hurt. But
the joke I came because he was super slow on
the route. And I made the joke that people on
this route were calling in and saying, Hey, how
come you've made a statue to the mailman out
here in our neighborhood? And then they called
back five minutes later and said, Never mind,
it's not a statue. He's moving. Oh, I love that.
I remember telling that at work while he was
there, and he laughed. That is funny when you
make the culprit laugh. Yeah. The subject laugh.
Okay. You got something? Well, I couldn't find
my other list. I had singers that I think should
retire, and I had bands that should retire. Okay.
But I can't remember which one of them I already
read. I think it was bands that should retire
we did. Oh yeah, here's the one I don't have
crossed off. Singers who need to retire before
they die on stage. Yeah, that's it. I love it.
I think I might have done that. I've got a lesser
known one and that's Jack Russell. Or did he
die? I think he might have died, actually. Let's
see, I did the one about bands that need to stop,
and I did female singers for crapping out, overlooked
drummers. Did we do overlooked drummers and overlooked
singers? So, I don't know, if I'm repeating myself
on these bands, I'm sorry, but I didn't cross
it off, so I think I didn't do it. these were
singers individual singers instead of bands that
uh he did die 2024. okay okay so these are singers
that pretty much have uh um it's it's a risk
each time they go on stage they might just die
right there on stage so well it's one david lee
roth i don't think so i guess he doesn't look
so close to death's door. These are people who
just look like they're on death's door. You know,
okay, to be fair, no, he doesn't look like he's
about ready to die. He just looks like he's nuts.
Yeah. Okay. But these are singers who actually
look physically ill and you actually get concerned
that they're going to die in front of the microphone.
Rod Stewart's one. The guy looks so frail. Oh
my gosh. Frankie Valli. From the Valley of the
Four Seasons. You said something about him last
episode. I looked him up, and oh my gosh. Oh,
that is just heartbreaking to see what he's reduced
to. It is. It's not right. It's hurting. I mean,
he was so good and prominent, and now you see
that, and it's like, oh my gosh. Yeah. Yeah,
anyhow. It reminded me of, locally we had a radio
guy named Walt Bodine. Yes. Who was just a fixture
here on radio for... KCUR had them on way too
long. Yeah, that's the public radio station here
in town. And they're called KCUR because it's
the University of Missouri -Kansas City. Radio.
Yeah, it's the radio station for them. But Walt
Bodine had kind of a general public interest
kind of show. Occasionally it would be a show
about movies, sometimes about restaurants, other
times about current events, just whatever. And
the guy started losing his memory and couldn't
stay on track. He was getting really, really
focused and stammering a lot on air. So they
gave him a co -host. And she pretty much ran
the show. She introduced it. She introduced the
guests. She introduced me to Topic of the Month.
And every now and then Walt would chime in with
something. And more often than not, he was about
30 to 45 seconds behind on the conversation.
It's something they already talked about, moved
past. And then he finally gets her, oh, oh, oh,
yeah, well, uh, uh, uh. And they would listen
and talk, and then they just, nobody would say
anything, and then they'd just go on. And in
order to make money off of him, the radio station
kept putting him on. I mean, his mind was gone.
His concentration was gone. How about his lip
-smacking and gum -smacking? Yeah, it was...
Listen, I love Walt Bodine like everybody else,
but... That was making a mockery of him. Oh,
yeah. They destroyed his image and his legacy.
They just dragged this. It's like dragging the
corpse of somebody up on stage and doing Weekend
at Bernie's kind of thing. Oh, look, they're
still here. They're still vital. Meanwhile, maggots
are dropping out of them. Yeah. That's what they
did to Walt Bodine is they were biting him and
using this poor, confused, fragile old man. Oh,
I know. And like you said, they brought the chick
on there. And all it did was accentuate how slow
he was because of age. I mean, you know. And
then every episode they would have the planted
calls where they would tell someone, call in
and compliment Walt. Tell him, oh, it's so great
you're on the radio. I just love all you've done
for Kansas City. So they're trying to talk him
up for the new listeners who are thinking, who
the hell is this guy mumbling in the background?
Anyone I knew that even dared to turn it on and
had the same reaction, like, I can't listen to
this. No. It's horrible. It's sad. Yeah. It was
not something to go, man, this guy was so cool.
It's like, oh, my gosh, they need to quit this.
All it's doing is just hurting him from here
on out. If you've ever seen those nature shows...
He's since passed away in case anyone didn't
know. Have you ever seen those nature shows where
they're showing the last baby duckling who gets
left behind and there's no one to care for him
and he gets sicker and sicker and slows down
and eventually just dies. And it's really, really
sad. And the cameraman's just there filming the
whole thing and not helping. That's what Walt
Bodine, he was the wounded, dying duckling. And
everyone was standing around making money off
him for as long as they could. And then they
just let him die this painful, slow, unhappy
career death. And then when they were done making
money off him, they kicked him to the side. Yeah,
very sad. It was one of the big things early
on that made me think. This radio station is
awful. I've never liked them. These are horrible
people. I've never liked them. Yeah. Anyhow.
And then they had that, what was it, Prairie
Home Companion, remember that, with Garrison
Keillor? Yes, yeah. And he was the guy who kept,
he'd build up a whole nose full of nose hairs
and snot, and then he'd whistle in the microphone
the whole time. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And
we're going to do the next bit. That was how
it sounded the whole time. That was really close.
Yeah, wasn't it? That was about what he sounded
like. And thank God he got busted for being a
sexual predator at work. I mean, not thank God
he was one. Thank God he got busted for being
one. And that drove his ass and his stupid bullshit
show off the air. I don't know whose fucking
D he was on, but it was something to even me
on the air. You got anything? Kind of taffy.
Okay, I've got Uber Eats released their most
expensive orders of last year. Want to hear any
of them? Absolutely. All right. Uber Eats released
their most expensive orders of all time. Oh,
all time. Okay, I'm sorry. And some of the strangest
orders as well. Some both. They're most expensive
and strangest. Cool. Someone spent $6 ,000 on
burgers and fries. That's a lot of burgers and
fries. That's a lot of burgers and fries. On
Uber Eats, according to Uber. The most expensive
order ever made in Canada was in Toronto when
someone spent more than $6 ,000 in burgers and
fries. In second place was a hungry customer
from Edmonton who purchased $5 ,500 in fried
chicken. Whoa. How do you eat that much at once?
Because fried chicken notoriously goes bad and,
like, you know. Yeah. I mean, you'd have to freeze
it or feed a whole bunch of people. Yeah, I guess.
Maybe they had a big party. I don't know why
else you could order all of that and have it
all be good. Followed by a user in Ottawa, and
it says here in Brits, he's probably a government
employee billed taxpayers for $3 ,000 in noodles.
Oh. That's a lot of noodles. Noodles are cheap,
so yeah, that's a lot of noodles. Yeah, but I
bet you it was the new designer noodles. The
gourmet noodles, they were very expensive. Oh,
true. There was one over on 119th. Noodle & Company?
Yeah, Noodle & Company. They're having a lot
of financial trouble because it's really super
cheap to buy noodles, but then to cook them and
serve them is pretty expensive. And the margin,
the profit margin on a big bowl of noodles and
stuff, selling at about $9 or so, they make about
nothing. Yeah. And when it all comes down to
it, you're selling a giant bowl of carbs with
some toppings on it. And a lot of people are
starting to realize this is a big -ass bowl of
carbs and I don't want it. I used to always have
people tell me, oh, try noodles. I'm like, no,
that's one of the worst things you can eat. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. It's like eating white bread. The
Gourmet Noodle Company. It's not Noodle & Company.
It's something else, but hang on. Let me take
a look here. Gourmet Noodle Company, 119th. It's
the Noodle Express. Oh, it is Noodles & Company.
Noodle & Company, okay. Okay. I thought there
was a different one, like KC Noodle. There might
be. I think I'm getting across. I've seen some
other noodle shops, yeah. Okay, wow. All right.
Okay, so in second place was a hungry customer
in Edmonton who purchased 5 ,000... Oh, no, no,
I got that one already. Someone in Vancouver
purchased a whopping 2 ,500 in sushi. That had
to have been a lot of people right there ready
to eat it. Yeah, that goes bad in a hurry. Yeah.
And also, it's not clear whether they paid a
delivery fee, a massive delivery fee, or... a
fee when they bought it through the gourmet grocer.
So I don't know, that would be a lot of work.
You don't think that they would just order that
and go, okay, whatever you tip the guys, whatever.
No, there would have to be a fee involved in
all of those other things. You'd have to have
a truck delivering that. I mean, just a regular
car, you'd have to make nine trips. Yeah. It
just doesn't seem feasible. They would have to
have like a fleet go out or rent a truck and
then charge it to them. But, you know, if you
call a restaurant and order several thousand
dollars worth of food, they're going to figure
out a way to get it to you. Yes, they will, and
I'm sure they do. They will figure it out. They
probably talk with the person about it and go,
well, we're going to have to rent a truck and
do this, and that's going to cost this and this
and this. A fleet of Ubers. Yeah, a fleet of
Ubers or something. So, this is the strangest
items ordered of all time. Uber says customer
ordered a Space Cowgirl Halloween costume. Oh,
God. That one's pretty good. I've heard of Space
Cowboy. Yeah, I never heard of Cowgirl, but I
guess there is one. Now in the video game Fallout,
Fallout 4, which has gotten really popular again
from the Fallout TV show. Oh, yeah. There is
Nuka World Girl. Yeah, yeah. Where she's got
this skin -tight version of a space outfit. It's
showing off all of her curves. Of course. She's
advertising the cola. Within the game, it's not
Coca -Cola. It's Nuka -Cola. Nuka -Cola. But
it's absolutely based on Coca -Cola. Is it in
cursive and all that? Yeah. The bottles are almost
the same. The founder was a guy named Brad Burton,
which is really close to the guy who founded
Coke. So that's their little nudge there. But,
yeah, the Nuka World girl had an outfit. Now,
you can actually find one in the game on a mannequin
and put it on. Oh, wow. Yeah, it's pretty cool.
That is really cool. Okay, the next one. Someone
bought a, let's see, where is it? Okay, they
bought a Merry and Bright Christmas dog collar.
I guess you had to take that Christmas photo
from the last minute you needed a dog collar.
I guess so, yeah. They're making out the Christmas
cards. They're like, where's that one car? I
don't know. We had it last year. We've got to
have one this year. We've got to mail them out
today. Uber Eats one. All right, followed was
a disco ball pickleball set. Oh. A disco ball
pickleball set. Who needs that last minute? I
don't know. They were really fucking bored, I
guess. Yeah. And it had to be a disco ball pickleball
set. Pickleball set, yeah. Either that or someone
gave them a really cool present, and they're
like, how am I going to top this? Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. That might be it. Or you get a corn bag
set where the bags are actually made from scrotum
skin. Yeah. That would be my favorite right there.
And then you put a little ring of hair around
the hole. Little description. Here. Right here.
Rub a little stink on it so you know where it
is. Yes. Alright. Followed by a monogram dragon
ornament and that is pretty much it. It reminded
me of my first job was at Wendy's. A location
that doesn't exist anymore on Blue Ridge Boulevard.
Where at? A little north of 95th Street. It's
like you're at 95th and Blue Ridge, and you go
north on Blue Ridge, and it just starts to curve.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then just up the street
was a Baskin -Robbins. A little further up the
street was a Big Boy. Yeah. Or was it a High
Boy? High Boy. It was a High Boy. Yeah, a High
Boy. And then across the street was a Clark gas
station. I worked at all of them. Clark, yeah.
Because they were all within walking distance
of home. Wow, yeah. But I worked at the Wendy's.
I was doing the drink counter over at the drive
-up window. And this truck came around. We could
hear the truck through the speaker. And the first
guy ordered three triple cheese with everything.
Two orders of fries and a large Coke. And the
second guy ordered the same thing. And we were
like, three triple cheese each? And two orders
of fries? How many people are they feeding? They
pulled up to the window, and it was just the
two guys, each weighing about 400 pounds. There's
your explanation. They could barely fit into
the front bench seat of their full -size pickup.
They barely could fit in squeezing together.
And you could tell they were brothers. They looked
like twins. Well, I mean, you know what? They
deserved it. They're on their last year of life.
Probably so. Yes, they deserved it. Yeah. But
pretty much everybody. in the restaurant was
going oh my god what did we just do are those
guys are gonna die eating all that stuff because
everyone was like actually fearing how big these
guys were we're gonna go eat all this food and
die and i was thinking they've obviously been
eating this way for a while that's what it's
getting ready to say it's dropping the bucket
just another day they probably went home and
did the same thing yeah it's like hey where's
those 10 pizzas we bought yesterday yeah well
i ate three of them last night but uh yeah number
one other kite what a guy Came back through the
drive -thru and I said, I ordered my hamburger
with extra mustard and I didn't get nearly enough
mustard. And the manager was there and said,
all right, no problem. We're going to make you
a whole new sandwich. And the guy running the
grill was pissed off by that. And he said, you
know, I didn't do it right. He thinks I didn't
do it right. So he put like a cup of mustard
on this guy's hamburger. And it was just dripping
and running everywhere. And the manager said,
no, no. Make him a new one. I think I would have
done the same thing. All right, you want extra
mustard. You got extra mustard. I mean, part
of me was like, that's funny. I want to see it
happen. But the other part was like, that mustard's
going to drip all over the guy, and then all
hell's going to break loose. I was thinking a
mustard squirt gun. And when he complained, I
just, here's some more mustard. Here, open up
your bun. Oh, shit, I got your face. I'm sorry.
Remember that Christmas cartoon, Rudolph the
Red -Nosed Reindeer? Yeah. And his island of
misfit toys? Yes. And on that island was a water
gun that doesn't shoot water. It shoots strawberry
jam. Okay. Somebody finally made the point that
we were all thinking. They said, if you don't
want a squirt gun that shoots strawberry jam...
Quit fucking putting strawberry jam in it and
put water in it. Yes. There's nothing wrong with
the squirt gun. It's the moron putting strawberry
jam into it. It's not a misfit toy. It's a misfit
human. Remember when the gag going around the
chocolate syrup in there? Yes. And you go over
and go, you're acting like you're squirting water,
and that's a ha -ha. But then you get chocolate
syrup all over you, and that's not a ha -ha.
That's not a ha -ha. Oh, shit. The things we
did because we were bored. Yeah. How long have
we got? Oh. We just passed the Sports Bastards
one in two hours. Okay. Do you want to keep going
or do you want to go ahead and shut it down?
One other thing I thought of to mention. Yeah.
I was thinking about this this morning for some
weird reason. It just made me think about be
careful what you tell people or what you make
them believe. This was back when I was 8, 9,
10, somewhere around there. My dad got the four
of us, my two brothers and sister and I, and
we all went down to the basement, which had a
tile floor. Actually, it was an asbestos tile
floor, we later learned. And he said, you know,
we need to clean up this floor. So he mixed up
a big bucket of sudsy water, and we all had sponges
and brushes and rags, and we were all just cleaning
and cleaning. And someone asked him, you know,
what's in here? And my dad said, oh, a little
this, a little that, just, you know, to be flip.
But I believed him. Because I was a little kid.
And then the water ran out and it was time to
make a new bucket. And I volunteered. I was like,
I'll go fill it up. So I went upstairs. I put
a bunch of hot water in it. And then I got under
the sink and put a little bit of everything that
said cleaner on it into that bucket. And I took
it back downstairs and we all started using it.
We all noticed, you know what? Our eyes are all
burning. My throat's burning too. And oh my God,
my hands are burning and turning red. And finally
my dad asked, What did you put in this? And I
said, just like you, a little bit of everything
under the sink. Now, what I'd put in there, in
addition to all sorts of other things, because
that's what he said he put under there. He said
a little bit of everything. You were a kid. You
were taking it for real. And fortunately, I didn't
get in trouble about it because he realized,
okay, I misled him. But the odd thing is I put
in both ammonia and bleach. Oh. Which makes chlorine
gas. Yes. Which is fatal. Yes. That was one of
the poison gases they used in World War I. Yeah.
And I made chlorine gas. You're lucky you're
not all dead. I know. We had to air out that
basement and dump all that water out. We all
were soaking our hands in baking sodas. We all
had red hands for a couple of days. That was
the last time they asked me to go mix up the
mop water. That's a great way to get out of it.
So I almost killed the whole family. Oops. Sorry.
Didn't mean to. I was lied to about what was
in the... Well, I mean, it would have been nice
if you were the only survivor. Oh, yeah, yeah,
yeah. No, I mean, even though they're dickheads
to you, they don't want them dead. No, no, no.
They just want them to live without you, to stay
somewhere else. They get to do whatever they
want, live their own lives just far away from
me. Yeah, that's like my sister. As long as they
don't involve me, they can do whatever the hell
they want and enjoy the consequences. Yes, same
way with my sister. She can live all she wants
away from me. Yes. I've got more, but I don't
know if you want to go on or not. I was going
to mention my brother John tried to contact me
around Thanksgiving. I think I mentioned this
to you. Oh, yeah, yeah, but you didn't want to
hear about it. Yeah, and then he couldn't get
a hold of me because I blocked him everywhere,
so he contacted my wife. And said, I'm trying
to get a hold of, he calls me Chris. You know,
it's not my name anymore. Trying to get a hold
of him, but, you know. Is he trying to be a dick?
That's what he's always called me. I mean, my
sister still calls me. Because I know you don't
like to be called Chris. And I don't blame you.
I'm the same way. At least my sister has actually
started trying to call me Christopher. But I
told her, well, I prefer Topher. I like Topher.
Yeah. I think that's good. You know, if I say
my name is Christopher, everyone automatically
shortens it to Chris. And that's not me. Nope.
But anyway, so he contacted Cindy and she showed
it to me and said, I can block him or do you
want to do something about this? So I unblocked
him on my phone long enough to tell him, you
know, stay away from me. Don't want anything
to do with you. Quit trying to contact me. Just
leave me totally alone. And then I re -blocked
him. Oh, good. And then about a week later, his
wife. who had never, ever, in the 12 years that
I've known about her, posted anything on Facebook,
suddenly she's posting almost every day. And
it's all these, you know, oh, it's so horrible
what the authorities are doing, and we just hate
them, and oh, these poor people are being terrorized.
Just total liberal line on everything. I thought,
that's not Dean. That's John. He has hijacked
his wife's Facebook account to try to get to
me. That's the kind of scumbag he is. I've told
him over and over, leave me alone, stay away,
I want nothing to do with you. He immediately
goes out and hijacks his wife's profile so he
can try to get to me. To me, that's so insecure
that you've got to have everyone agree with exactly
how you feel to make it valid to you. Now, I
know he has crushing insecurity. Obviously. Which
is part of what makes him a person he is. But
he also acts like a predator a lot of the time.
Well, yeah, doing that is a predator. That's
absolutely predator behavior. He's stalking me.
He's trying to find a way through my defenses.
He's trying to sneak in. Yeah. And there's nothing
good going to come from it. No, he's trying to
harm you. Yeah. But he's trying to act like he's
not. Yes. Which is bullshit. So, even though
I've never met his wife, never talked to her
in person, I really don't know much about her.
She's blocked and I want nothing to do with her.
I would have blocked her too. Because at the
very least, she's letting John do it. Yes. So
she's his collaborator, which means I don't want
anything to do with her. No, I don't blame you.
I'd be the same way. I'd be like, no, that's
cool. You know what? You're going to be toting
his line and trying to terrorize me? Then I got
nothing for you. And, you know, first thing she
said, she, first thing in the... The post was,
you know, we've moved up to Canada just outside
Edmonton. Oh, gosh, we love it. But the things
going on back home. Didn't he live in South Africa?
No, this is the one that lived in Seattle. Oh,
in Seattle. Okay. Yeah. My oldest brother, Mark,
is in South Africa. Okay. Since I shut John out,
my oldest brother, Mark, has quit talking to
me, too. So he is sympathizing and taking John's
side, but he's at least leaving me alone. You're
better off. I'm better off, absolutely. But the
weird thing was all the things going on back
home. It's like, no, the United States is not
your home anymore. No. You abandoned. You left.
You chickened and ran. Instead of staying here
and trying to fix what's wrong and trying to
help, instead you just bailed. And you're going
to wait up there in Canada until the rest of
us fix things to your likest. Then you're going
to come crawling back and say, oh, we get it
too. No. No, you chickened and ran. You gave
up. I think you should surrender your citizenship.
I think so too. I really, really do. I do too.
Okay, you know, you didn't like it here. You
said things were bad, so you left. Go be happy.
Yeah. You said that was going to make you happy.
Being away from all this oppression and all this
and everything. Okay, go be happy. Part of being
happy is not fucking with somebody. And it's
like divorcing someone. and then still going
and being a big part of their life and complaining
about what they're doing and how much you don't
like it. No, you divorce them. It should be all
over. They're none of your business anymore,
are they? I don't give a shit about my ex. I
don't want to know anything about her on purpose.
I don't either. Not about mine. But both of my
brothers are still wanting to get all the financial
benefits of being an American citizen. while
at the same time hating America and refusing
to have anything to do with it and running it
down to everybody within your shot. Yeah, I don't
have any respect for that at all. They just want
the money. And if you really think it's that
bad, I want to see you do something about it
besides pointing it out to me and wanting me
to do something. Yeah. Yeah, a lot of this stuff
I don't really necessarily deem as worthy that
I've got to go jump up and down about, so, you
know, that's their plight, not mine. Yeah. And
the weird thing about my brother Mark was he
settled on South Africa because he said there
is still a lot of racism entrenched here, the
whites against the blacks, but it's changing
and I want to be a part of that. And I thought,
why can't you be a part of that here in the United
States, the country you were born in, grew up
in, lived most of your life in? Why is the United
States suddenly not worth your time and effort
anymore, but a country you've never seen before?
before a year ago suddenly that's your new home
well it's because it's easier over there and
right now he's still part of the dominant group
because he's white yeah so i think he enjoys
you know oh the whites are the ruling class well
i'm gonna go join them long enough and then i'll
see about me no he just wanted to be over there
where whites are king yeah but he wanted to act
like that he wanted to act yeah he wanted to
act like i'm gonna be part of the change Well,
you could have stayed here and been part of the
change. You could have gone to Mexico and been
part of the change. You could have gone to any
place nearby. You specifically chose a place
halfway across the world where whites still have
a lot of privilege. And he's not just being intellectually
dishonest. He's being completely dishonest. Both
my brothers, I think, are just lying to themselves
extensively. Fine, go do that. Do it away from
me. Don't involve me. Quit trying to contact
me. Stay the hell away from me. Well, that's
what makes it being completely dishonest right
there. If you were intellectually dishonest,
you would really believe what you're saying.
You would take it upon yourself. Yeah. If you're
just being completely dishonest, you would do
what they do and go, well, I'm not going to do
it, but I'm going to tell everybody else to do
it. Yes. Now, no respect. Yeah, yeah. It's the
same when John was talking about wealth distribution,
redistribution. Break down all the big corporations
and all the millionaires and stuff and read just
to be wealth and land and property. And I said,
you start. Go ahead. You've got more money than
a whole bunch of people. So why don't you start
by doing yours? And his response was, well, it
wouldn't help anything or mean anything if just
I did it. Everyone has to do it. It's like, well,
there's the hook. You want to make everyone do
it. You don't want to do it yourself. You want
to force everyone else to do it. Either be an
example or shut up. There's no two parts about
it. You're either going to help change it, but
don't just sit there and talk about it. Good
point. Mark and John are both people that I...
Well, John I don't talk to anymore. Mark I would
talk to if he called, but as soon as he started
getting into any of those... emotionally charged
opinion subjects. It's like, uh -uh. Not interested.
We're not talking about this. Just like your
musical friend that tried to get together with
you that you told me about. You don't say a name
or nothing, but you want to describe that? Yeah,
yeah. My bass playing friend and I would get
together with this guy in Lenexa at his house.
and just jam on tunes and have fun. We had no
illusions of her playing out anywhere. We were
just having fun and being creative. And he started
spending most of his time playing golf instead
of practicing. And then he stopped playing golf
and started watching every news program on TV
that would reinforce his views that he already
had. And then when we'd come over to play, Not
only would he not have his material ready, but
all he wanted to talk about was politics and
social issues. And he wanted to talk about it
from the point of, I'm right and if you don't
agree with me, you're dead wrong and here's the
real truth. So he came at it from a perspective
as, you will listen to what I say because I know
and you don't. Which is irritating as hell. So
eventually, the bass player quit. He's like,
it takes me a lot of time. to get myself ready.
Because his right arm was shot up in Vietnam.
So he can barely move his hand. So it takes a
long time to warm it up to the point where he
can play bass guitar. And he spends the time
to learn the stuff and then come over and we
don't play. We spend a couple hours while this
guy goes on his rant or turns on a TV show or
shows us his name, his thing he bought. Ed's
just like, nah. And then I bailed too. But recently
this guy has been contacting me. You guys, if
you want to come over and hang out. We don't
have to play if you just want to watch a movie.
You already turned him down on playing because
you knew it was going to turn into that. Yeah.
And then he said, well, you know, if you guys
just want to come over and hang out, we can watch
a movie or play a game or complain about our
stupid, fat -ass president. And I thought, there
it is. He wants to come over so he can rant at
us. He's already got his mind made up about a
ton of things. And whether or not you think Trump
is a stupid, fat -ass president or not, The last
thing you want to do is hear somebody else tell
you why they think so. It's like, that's not
interesting to me. I don't care. If you agree
with them, you already know. If you don't agree
with them, you don't want to hear it. Yeah. But
he let us know in that text that that's exactly
what he was planning on. That's why I wanted
you to talk about it right there is because of
that. Yep. And since it's his house and we're
using his equipment, he has a feeling of superiority
as that, oh, you're here by my. Yeah, so he traps
you. Yep. It's like, my house, my rules, you
have to stay here and listen to me while I rant
at you. Nah, no I don't. So, I didn't tell him
that that's the reason we're not coming over,
because I'm not obligated to, but that is the
exact reason. I called the bass player afterwards
and talked to him, and we were both exactly the
same mind. We said, yeah, he sunk his own boat
when he said that, because... That's what he
wants to do. He revealed himself. We want to
play music. We want to do music stuff. And when
we told him we weren't going to come over and
do the music stuff, he still tried to get us
to come over because he still wants somebody
to rant to. And that's all it was. He didn't
care about the music. He just wanted to rant
to you and have you a captive audience. You're
there. No, we can't go anywhere. Well, you could,
but it's trouble. So he thinks you're just going
to sit there and take it for a few hours and
then leave. And, you know, the bass player said,
you know, in a lot of ways I agree with this
guy and things he said, but he's just so overbearing
and arrogant about it, I can't stand it. So even
though he agrees with him on a lot of things,
it's his delivery that just really pisses you
off. Yeah, and that would do the same to me,
too. It's like, yeah, it's like, you're not superior
to me in any way, so don't act like you know
more than me. It's like, if you ask me, you know,
what size socket wrench do I use to fix this?
And I said, oh, a 10mm. That's okay. But if I
said, it's a 10 millimeter, then you'd be offended.
That's the way this guy is. That's the way he
talks, as if you're some retarded, and I'm using
that term not as a person who's mentally challenged,
but as a person who intentionally rejects the
obvious and the reality. Oh, okay, yeah. People
mentally challenged are mentally challenged.
The people who want to say the word retarded,
they're the retarded ones. So that word no longer
applies to anybody with any kind of physical
or mental challenge. It only applies to regular,
able -bodied, able -minded people who are just
clueless morons. And all these bad words, we
gave it power. Nobody else did. I mean, all it
is is a bunch of fucking letters put together
that we pronounce. And every word goes out of
fashion eventually. When I was growing up, People
referred to as idiots or crazy. And then, you
know, children born with, say, Down syndrome
were referred to as idiots. Yes. And that was
normal at the time, like in the, you know, early
mid -60s. But then that was... But then it was
like, oh, that's mean, let's... Let's use retarded,
which means to be slowed or brought back. It's
a musical term. Like retarding an engine, slowing
it down. And in music, you'll see it spelled
as R -I -T -A -R -E, which means to slow down.
It's a valid word, and it was the nice, more
friendly, less insulting term. Now it's an insulting
term, and you have to say mentally challenged.
Now mentally challenged is out, and you have
to say... Differently abled. And now that's out.
Something else. Just on and on and on. I don't
give a shit, you know? I don't give a shit. I'm
going to use the word I think is okay. It's like
he used to say, you know, people used to be called
bums and hobos. Oh, they're not bums and hobos.
They're homeless. Now, homeless is... Now they're
like housing deficient or something like that.
Unhoused. Unhoused, that's it. Yeah. Saying homeless,
which is perfectly descriptive, is suddenly insulting?
but saying unhoused, which in a lot of cases
is completely inaccurate because these people
never did have a house. Yeah, and here's another
one too. If you went to these people and said,
what are you? Oh, I'm homeless. It's not them
that are saying it's a bad word. It's some white
liberal somewhere that goes, we can't use that
anymore. That's not a good word. And a lot of
times it's just... a way to get people to do
what you want them, or it's a social experiment
to see if you can talk people into abandoning
a word and picking up the new one you told them
to. And it's wintertime, so I can say white.
Yeah. I checked on it, okay? I'm seasonally other.
It's winter today, so I can say it. Anyhow. And
I do that to describe the absurd. You know, I've
decided that in the future, if someone describes
me as white, I'm going to say, how dare you judge
me by my appearance? You have no idea what my
family tree is like and what my ethnicity is.
How dare you just assume that I'm white? And
will they say, well, what are you? None of your
damn business. You know, I used to work at, I
love that. I'm going to do it. I want to be there.
A friend of mine that I used to work with, he...
He used to do this gag. I worked for a union.
I told you, you know, I retired from sheet metal
number two. There were a lot of people there,
old rough house people. They used to wear the
N word used regularly. Yeah. And my friend, I
could say his first name, Jeff, whenever someone
would do that in front of him, he would go, my
mom's black. You talk about shutting a hillbilly
down in a hot second. Yep. Because they could
get fired over that, and they know that. And
also, they thought that Jeff hated them after
that. Yeah. And some people... The double whammy
of, oh, my God, it's his mom. It was his dad.
Oh, God, it's his mom. Yes. Oh, yeah. One of
the guys that worked at the gas station had...
It was a real contradiction. He had trained his
dog to go on the aggressive alert when he would
say, no. Where's the N -word? Where's the N -word?
And the dog would run to the window, and he'd
look around, growling, trying to find it. But
he had black friends. Oh, okay, okay. And there
was one time where a couple women came up to
the gas station as we were closing, and they
invited us back to their place because the co
-worker guy wanted to get something. I think
he was buying drugs from them or something. Oh,
okay. And so... Battle gag. Yeah. And, you know,
I just kind of went along for the ride. I was
single, and I was a teenager. I didn't care.
And, uh... He was using the N -word in front
of them. And I thought, wow, I would never think
of doing that. That's pretty bizarre. But one
of the women told me, you know, he's such a good
friend. We don't care. It doesn't mean anything
from him. And by the end of the evening, she
said, I'd be okay with you calling me that word,
too. I wouldn't take offense at it if you used
that word. And I was like, well, I'm not going
to. Because I don't use that word. No, it's just
not me. No, no, no, no. I know some guys that
use that word around their black friends because
they feel like they are a brother, if you will.
Yeah, they have a temporary black brother card.
Yeah, yeah. And like I pointed out to a couple
of them, I want you to go to those people right
over there and use it. No. Why not? Why not?
Because it all of a sudden means something to
everybody, doesn't it? Okay. All right. Did I
get my point across? I don't think they got it.
No. But it really shocked me at the time. I was
probably 18. And the idea that... A black woman
would say, you know, I'm friends enough with
you that you could call me that and I wouldn't
be offended. And I imagine a lot of the other
black people she hung out with used that word
constantly, used it referring to her. It was
no big deal, but it's like, I'm not from that
culture. So I would be like pretending or invading
or something. It's like, no, it's not right.
And all it would take would be for one person
to overhear me and be upset about it. And they
could rightly be upset about it. It's like, no,
I'm not getting anywhere near this. It's like,
thanks, but no thanks. But it was the first time
that I actually realized there are some black
people that are completely fine with that word.
And I've been told, oh, it's a horrible word.
Everyone hates it. Obviously not. And then, you
know, later in the 80s, you had all the gangster
rap and the hip -hop and the N -word was flying
everywhere. Quentin Tarantino movies, it's...
It's been so desensitized now, it's just like,
it's not even an argument. It's like, I don't
even want to hear it. It's like... For a lot
of reasons, for a lot of instances, if you use
it in an entertainment context, it's suddenly
okay. Yeah, which I don't agree with at all.
No. But if you use it in anger or contempt...
then it's suddenly bad. And in some ways, yeah,
intent is part of it. Well, yeah, I mean, it's
the same with being saying, fuck you, piece of
shit or something. I get that. But, I mean, to
desensitize it like it is to me was doing to
people that really don't like that word because
they were... you know, discriminated against
growing up and they heard that word, that does
them no justice at all. No. Because they're like,
you know, man, you know how long I had to use,
I had to hear that word and I had to ride in
the back of a bus or I couldn't get a job. Yeah.
That's, that does them nothing. All that is,
is disrespectful to them. Yeah. Now the younger
people didn't go through that. They use the word,
it's fine. It's just like the word Nazi. Lost
all its meaning. All its meaning. Yeah. Because
everybody's a Nazi if you don't like them. Yeah,
if someone who disagrees with you, suddenly they're
a Nazi, because you have no idea what it really
means. This old Jewish guy that I knew was very
offended by that. Oh, yeah. He said, yeah, he
goes, you know, I got a tattoo on my fucking
arm. From the real Nazis. From the real Nazis.
Yeah. Yeah, pissed him off. Yeah, I imagine he
did. Yeah, he goes, now people think it's someone
that shaves their heads, a Nazi. Yeah. He's long
gone, but I agreed with him back then. I was
like, you know what, I get it. It's like they're
just making it sound like, oh, someone's been
their stupid face. Yeah, they're stupid, but
you know. I think the majority of the people
who are using the word Nazi and are hearing the
word Nazi have no idea who they were and what
they did. They just know it's the latest hate
term. Oh, you hate someone? Call them a Nazi.
It is. It's chic. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, and it's
used in politics more than anything anymore,
which really pisses me off. It's the latest popular
buzzword. Yeah. Now, you can use neo -Nazi. Oh,
yeah. That's okay. Ukraine is full of them. Yeah.
They have an immense problem with the popular
and growing neo -Nazi movement in Ukraine. And
all the liberals who are campaigning for Ukraine.
I have no idea. Well, look at the way they treat
children. They're not an asset to them. They're
a liability. They're like, get those things out
of here. They're really not. I have several friends,
really good friends, that adopted Ukrainian children
because they're just discarded like trash. They're
too expensive to have around. It's enough of
them over there that does that, that makes it
bad. So, like, when people are like, oh, those
pure Ukrainians, you know, oh, those poor guys
are getting invaded. I'm kind of thinking, well,
I don't know. You know, I don't know the whole
story, and I've heard a lot of different things,
so I can't really make a judgment over here because
I know there's blood on their hands too. Yeah.
It reminded me of the late 60s and early 70s
where Nixon expanded the Vietnam War into Laos
and Cambodia. Yes. And everyone screamed and
yelled about these poor, innocent Laotians and
Cambodians. And then as soon as the Vietnam,
as soon as the U .S. got out, Within a few years,
the North Vietnamese took over the whole country,
and then the neighboring states of Laos and Cambodia
had their own brutal dictatorist regimes where
they murdered millions of their countrymen. Wait
a minute. Didn't you say there were these poor,
innocent people that were being picked on by
the big, bad United States? Wasn't that a load
of shit? That was a load of shit. That's funny.
Yeah. Well, I guess we should probably cut this
down. Okay, everybody, thank you for listening,
man. Our numbers are growing, and I mean, I can't
thank you guys enough. What about you, Christopher?
Oh, it's wonderful. It just gives me a warm feeling
every time I look at the downloads. Yeah, I mean,
we truly love you guys, and you're like family.
Go fuck yourself.