WEBVTT 00:00:09.580 --> 00:00:33.079 Thank you. Welcome again. We're happy you chose 00:00:33.079 --> 00:00:36.859 us. Come on in. Wash yourself off. Would you 00:00:36.859 --> 00:00:39.979 enjoy a bourbon and coke? There's a liquor store 00:00:39.979 --> 00:00:42.679 down the road. If you go, I need rolling papers. 00:00:43.679 --> 00:00:46.140 Well, since you're here, let's get this daily 00:00:46.140 --> 00:00:49.640 douchebag pledge out of the way. All right, bitches, 00:00:49.799 --> 00:00:52.840 swing your hips and pelvic thrust. Shout it out 00:00:52.840 --> 00:00:55.640 with me. I, Joe or Jane Listener, promise to 00:00:55.640 --> 00:01:00.020 download every podcast. I. Joe or Jane Listener 00:01:00.020 --> 00:01:02.640 promised to make all friends, family members, 00:01:02.740 --> 00:01:05.920 and workmates download the show. I, Joe or Jane 00:01:05.920 --> 00:01:08.900 Listener, promised to grab idle computers, work 00:01:08.900 --> 00:01:11.640 computers, friends computers, community computers, 00:01:11.879 --> 00:01:14.280 and other assorted phones and listening devices 00:01:14.280 --> 00:01:17.920 and download the show from there. I, Joe or Jane 00:01:17.920 --> 00:01:20.840 Listener, will download the show and constantly 00:01:20.840 --> 00:01:23.420 barrage everyone with show name and platforms. 00:01:23.780 --> 00:01:26.760 I, Joe or Jane Listener, promised to wear a chicken 00:01:26.760 --> 00:01:29.780 costume and scream the show's name from my front 00:01:29.780 --> 00:01:32.540 yard. And finally, because of her 13 -year -old 00:01:32.540 --> 00:01:35.780 boy humor, you must go to Knobloch Cooter Licking 00:01:35.780 --> 00:01:38.560 in Uranus, Missouri to take selfies with the 00:01:38.560 --> 00:01:42.099 signs. If you go to Uranus, go to the fudge factory. 00:01:43.099 --> 00:01:46.980 Yes, there's a fudge factory in Uranus. No joke. 00:01:48.719 --> 00:01:51.540 Here at Two Douchebags and a Microphone, we don't 00:01:51.540 --> 00:01:54.769 stand behind our journalistic integrity. Go ahead 00:01:54.769 --> 00:01:57.930 and assume we got the story wrong. At least we 00:01:57.930 --> 00:02:01.250 admit it. Not like all those other guys. We can 00:02:01.250 --> 00:02:05.650 and will lie if it makes the story better. Two 00:02:05.650 --> 00:02:17.129 douchebags and a microphone. We talk. You watch 00:02:17.129 --> 00:02:21.669 the news. It looks grim. Is an apocalypse inevitable? 00:02:22.599 --> 00:02:25.240 We suggest you download all our podcasts beforehand 00:02:25.240 --> 00:02:29.460 and have multiple mobile chargers. We have a 00:02:29.460 --> 00:02:36.620 host of podcasts. Make sure and have plenty of 00:02:36.620 --> 00:02:40.719 rope. Strong, threaded, durable rope with a rating 00:02:40.719 --> 00:02:44.520 of 400 pounds or greater. You need to know basic 00:02:44.520 --> 00:02:47.439 knots. So you can go to the library and download 00:02:47.439 --> 00:02:50.080 the Boy Scouts handbook and have a reference 00:02:50.080 --> 00:02:53.719 to slip knots and other essential rope tricks. 00:02:54.099 --> 00:02:57.400 Rope can be used in traps to catch food or would 00:02:57.400 --> 00:03:01.360 -be predators. Rope is a key ingredient in post 00:03:01.360 --> 00:03:05.099 -apocalypse survival. Since the dawn of time, 00:03:05.159 --> 00:03:07.740 weird shit has happened. Strange occurrences. 00:03:08.139 --> 00:03:10.979 Unexplained phobias. and other odd happenings 00:03:10.979 --> 00:03:13.400 over the next minute we would like to bring you 00:03:13.400 --> 00:03:17.560 odd rare phobias and conditions kepler syndrome 00:03:17.560 --> 00:03:20.500 or the delusion of doubles is a rare condition 00:03:20.500 --> 00:03:23.460 where a person falsely believes a familiar individual 00:03:23.460 --> 00:03:26.939 like a spouse or family member has been replaced 00:03:26.939 --> 00:03:29.740 by an identical looking imposter or duplicate 00:03:29.740 --> 00:03:33.680 as a type of delusional misidentification syndrome 00:03:33.680 --> 00:03:36.400 often linked to underlying brain issues or psychiatric 00:03:36.400 --> 00:03:40.490 conditions including schizophrenia dementia with 00:03:40.490 --> 00:03:43.990 Lewy body, brain injury, or bipolar disorder, 00:03:44.270 --> 00:03:46.889 resulting from a disconnect between face recognition 00:03:46.889 --> 00:03:50.270 and emotional processing. Treatment focuses on 00:03:50.270 --> 00:03:53.590 managing the underlying disorder with different 00:03:53.590 --> 00:03:56.349 forms of therapy and addressing associated symptoms 00:03:56.349 --> 00:04:00.969 like anxiety. The regular Joe Q public may believe 00:04:00.969 --> 00:04:03.729 anything he hears and sees, but not here at Two 00:04:03.729 --> 00:04:06.189 Douchebags Microphone. Here at Two Douchebags 00:04:06.189 --> 00:04:08.710 Microphone, we question everything. That's why 00:04:08.710 --> 00:04:10.650 we have a little segment we'd like to call, I 00:04:10.650 --> 00:04:14.150 Call Bullshit. Bullshit. Bullshit. Bullshit. 00:04:15.849 --> 00:04:19.189 I am calling bullshit on all the part -time geopolitical 00:04:19.189 --> 00:04:23.850 experts out there. Yeah, you. The person a year 00:04:23.850 --> 00:04:25.850 ago that couldn't stop posting pictures of your 00:04:25.850 --> 00:04:29.990 food at an eatery, or pictures of your dog, barking 00:04:29.990 --> 00:04:33.589 at a garden gnome. So, you suddenly developed 00:04:33.589 --> 00:04:36.850 into this, this all -knowing political expert 00:04:36.850 --> 00:04:40.240 overnight. and can't wait to tell anyone glazing 00:04:40.240 --> 00:04:43.699 by your post all about it. Just because you saw 00:04:43.699 --> 00:04:46.480 an article on the internet and ran with it, without 00:04:46.480 --> 00:04:50.199 vetting it whatsoever. I have zero respect for 00:04:50.199 --> 00:04:52.660 someone who suddenly developed a conscience and 00:04:52.660 --> 00:04:55.399 go face -first into things they have no idea 00:04:55.399 --> 00:04:59.399 about, just because of a blurb on the net. At 00:04:59.399 --> 00:05:01.639 least your foodie pics and you sitting under 00:05:01.639 --> 00:05:04.850 a palm tree are somewhat entertaining. I can 00:05:04.850 --> 00:05:07.209 also inform you that nobody has ever changed 00:05:07.209 --> 00:05:10.730 their mind just because you said so. People like 00:05:10.730 --> 00:05:13.230 you still fall for the yearly prank about Andy 00:05:13.230 --> 00:05:15.810 Griffith dying when he's been dead for ten years 00:05:15.810 --> 00:05:19.670 now. All you rubes and sheep that blindly follow 00:05:19.670 --> 00:05:22.569 news sources without checking need to do us a 00:05:22.569 --> 00:05:26.129 favor and never vote. Consider this a public 00:05:26.129 --> 00:05:29.709 service announcement. You're welcome. Oh man, 00:05:29.810 --> 00:05:31.550 what the fuck is this? Is this a new feature? 00:05:33.610 --> 00:05:38.449 What's inside Mark's head? Sounds stupid to me. 00:05:38.769 --> 00:05:42.769 Why do people say tuna fish sandwich when nobody 00:05:42.769 --> 00:05:47.730 says chicken bird sandwich? And now we look in 00:05:47.730 --> 00:05:50.029 on the adventures of the technical explanation 00:05:50.029 --> 00:05:53.970 guy. Oh my, would you look at the Riley scattering? 00:05:54.730 --> 00:05:59.250 It sure is brilliant tonight. First off, you're 00:05:59.250 --> 00:06:02.810 on private property. Second... You're in my flower 00:06:02.810 --> 00:06:06.069 garden. Third, if you're talking about the sunset, 00:06:06.269 --> 00:06:10.069 yes, it is stunning. And finally, would you get 00:06:10.069 --> 00:06:12.550 the hell off my property, you annoying fucking 00:06:12.550 --> 00:06:17.410 bastard? Hey, everybody, this is Uncle Rob. I'm 00:06:17.410 --> 00:06:21.389 going to give you some tips for life. When you 00:06:21.389 --> 00:06:24.529 want to save a park bench, but you have to come 00:06:24.529 --> 00:06:27.850 back to it, just carry one paint side, and bam, 00:06:28.110 --> 00:06:34.420 you'll have the bench all year, so... Two douchebags 00:06:34.420 --> 00:06:36.459 and microphone in an effort to keep everything 00:06:36.459 --> 00:06:44.319 fresh. We offer you first world problems. I can't 00:06:44.319 --> 00:06:47.660 believe the coffee grinder is broke at the big 00:06:47.660 --> 00:06:52.720 box store. There's no way I can be expected to 00:06:52.720 --> 00:07:05.639 grind my coffee beans every damn morning. Two 00:07:05.639 --> 00:07:09.680 douchebags and a microphone. I'm Mark, here in 00:07:09.680 --> 00:07:12.399 the Kansas City vicinity at the Talk is Cheap 00:07:12.399 --> 00:07:20.120 studio, and here comes my goat noises. And I 00:07:20.120 --> 00:07:24.939 am Rob in Wheatland, Missouri, home of the magnificent 00:07:24.939 --> 00:07:29.639 Lucas Oil Speedway and Water Track, and also 00:07:29.639 --> 00:07:33.639 home of Icomo Country Store, where you can buy 00:07:33.639 --> 00:07:39.870 anything you want. including a selfie with this 00:07:39.870 --> 00:07:44.990 Sinclair dinosaur in the Doug Boyer studio. All 00:07:44.990 --> 00:07:50.430 right. Thank you, Robin. Yep, yep, I like that. 00:07:51.199 --> 00:07:53.720 Topher and I did over four hours of programming 00:07:53.720 --> 00:07:56.779 today from the city market. We feel really good 00:07:56.779 --> 00:07:58.920 about it. We had a lot of stuff that we got to. 00:07:59.100 --> 00:08:01.220 We had a lot of stuff prepared, and we're pretty 00:08:01.220 --> 00:08:03.779 happy about it. And if you got some feedback, 00:08:04.060 --> 00:08:07.879 it's 2douches at mail .com. Spell out the number 00:08:07.879 --> 00:08:11.139 2. Evidently, some people had some issues with 00:08:11.139 --> 00:08:14.139 that. Spell out the number 2. Everything is spelled 00:08:14.139 --> 00:08:19.279 out. 2douches at mail .com. So don't put the 00:08:19.279 --> 00:08:21.180 number in there like some people have been doing. 00:08:21.240 --> 00:08:23.800 Let me get my ass chewed once they figured it 00:08:23.800 --> 00:08:27.800 out. So next time say the number too. By the 00:08:27.800 --> 00:08:32.299 way, I got to interject here. Yes. Sorry. No, 00:08:32.340 --> 00:08:36.620 that's fine. You posted it on Facebook, but you 00:08:36.620 --> 00:08:41.240 included me. Just so everybody knows, I was not 00:08:41.240 --> 00:08:44.259 with them. Oh, shit. You know, I do that out 00:08:44.259 --> 00:08:47.899 of courtesy now. You know what? I'm going to 00:08:47.899 --> 00:08:49.620 stop doing that then. I didn't think about that. 00:08:49.799 --> 00:08:52.879 Okay. No, no, it's cool. I just want everybody 00:08:52.879 --> 00:08:55.840 to, well. I do that out of courtesy because it's 00:08:55.840 --> 00:08:58.159 all of our shows. Some of my Facebook friends 00:08:58.159 --> 00:09:02.639 actually listen. So, you know. Okay. Some of 00:09:02.639 --> 00:09:07.759 them follow the Facebook page. Okay. Especially 00:09:07.759 --> 00:09:10.779 my buddy Michael over on Sage Beach. You know 00:09:10.779 --> 00:09:14.779 who you are. Thank you, Michael. Thanks for being 00:09:14.779 --> 00:09:17.679 a loyal listener. We love you. And Rob is going 00:09:17.679 --> 00:09:23.480 to give you $300. Wow. And Rob's going to give 00:09:23.480 --> 00:09:29.139 you $300. Okay, that's cool. Very cool. And Rob 00:09:29.139 --> 00:09:31.500 is going to give you $300 next time he sees you 00:09:31.500 --> 00:09:35.919 for being such a loyal listener, Mike. Okay, 00:09:36.179 --> 00:09:40.440 maybe not. All right. Okay, first off, it's been 00:09:40.440 --> 00:09:43.080 a pretty good week for weeding out loudmouth 00:09:43.080 --> 00:09:46.919 idiots. And I'll explain why. The people that 00:09:46.919 --> 00:09:52.100 try to bait you into a political argument. It's 00:09:52.100 --> 00:09:54.019 just going nuts right now, people doing this. 00:09:54.279 --> 00:09:57.120 First off, how I feel is none of their fucking 00:09:57.120 --> 00:10:01.200 business and never will be. Second off, I wouldn't 00:10:01.200 --> 00:10:02.879 trust most of the people I'm talking about with 00:10:02.879 --> 00:10:05.779 directions to the nearest Shell station, let 00:10:05.779 --> 00:10:09.860 alone something as sacred as voting. I've even 00:10:09.860 --> 00:10:12.659 had some extended family members do the same, 00:10:12.759 --> 00:10:16.080 and it's really pissing me off. I don't owe anyone 00:10:16.080 --> 00:10:19.700 an explanation about anything on how I feel, 00:10:19.840 --> 00:10:23.919 and nor do I trust most people with it. Most 00:10:23.919 --> 00:10:29.159 people use it as a reason to think something 00:10:29.159 --> 00:10:31.820 of you or to try to change your mind, which I 00:10:31.820 --> 00:10:35.679 am well into my 50s, and I know exactly how I 00:10:35.679 --> 00:10:38.419 feel at this point, and there's nothing you're 00:10:38.419 --> 00:10:40.860 going to pull out of a magical fucking hat and 00:10:40.860 --> 00:10:48.639 change my mind. Rob, are you with me? Yeah. Yes. 00:10:49.559 --> 00:10:57.899 We know. Yes. And we know how we feel. There 00:10:57.899 --> 00:11:02.159 is nothing I have not uncovered so far. I'm pretty 00:11:02.159 --> 00:11:05.120 sure of that. I have my feelings and I also know 00:11:05.120 --> 00:11:08.100 what a fucking ruse a lot of the politics in 00:11:08.100 --> 00:11:10.690 America is. Well, actually, anywhere in the world. 00:11:10.970 --> 00:11:14.669 There is so much ruse and so much smoke and mirrors, 00:11:14.769 --> 00:11:17.509 and a lot of these people are on the same fucking 00:11:17.509 --> 00:11:21.029 side. They just claim that they're not. And then 00:11:21.029 --> 00:11:23.830 this goes with how power protects power and how 00:11:23.830 --> 00:11:25.629 I've been harping about this for a while now. 00:11:25.789 --> 00:11:28.690 And it's like this, and I would bet any amount 00:11:28.690 --> 00:11:30.769 of money. It's a gentleman's agreement. It's 00:11:30.769 --> 00:11:32.990 like, okay, to get votes, to harvest votes, we 00:11:32.990 --> 00:11:36.409 get it. Okay, expose us. But at the end of the 00:11:36.409 --> 00:11:38.370 day, are you going to press charges? No. So, 00:11:38.370 --> 00:11:39.830 okay, so nothing's going to be done about it? 00:11:39.830 --> 00:11:41.850 No. But I'm going to expose you because I need 00:11:41.850 --> 00:11:43.450 the votes. Okay, all right, and I'll do what 00:11:43.450 --> 00:11:46.009 I can to hurt you. But at the end of the day, 00:11:46.090 --> 00:11:48.730 they have the agreement. No one's going to prison. 00:11:48.850 --> 00:11:51.429 No one's going to jail. Right, right. Yeah. So 00:11:51.429 --> 00:11:53.970 it's pretty easy for them. And one person looks 00:11:53.970 --> 00:11:56.129 like the hero, another person looks like the 00:11:56.129 --> 00:11:58.509 heel, and it's a never -ending cycle that's never 00:11:58.509 --> 00:12:00.250 going to end because there's too much money in 00:12:00.250 --> 00:12:07.029 it. And then if you're on... Early down the ladder, 00:12:07.169 --> 00:12:10.809 nobody hears from you again. That's right. Yeah, 00:12:10.850 --> 00:12:14.309 that's right. And that's the way it happens. 00:12:16.269 --> 00:12:19.929 You're right, Bob. Do your research. Just saying. 00:12:20.129 --> 00:12:22.570 Yeah, and that's another thing, too. We could 00:12:22.570 --> 00:12:26.070 go down a rabbit hole if you want to, Mark. No, 00:12:26.090 --> 00:12:28.809 this is not the show for it, and we'll discuss 00:12:28.809 --> 00:12:32.309 that later. I know, I know, I know. Listen, this 00:12:32.309 --> 00:12:35.789 is not going to be just by itself. I've got an 00:12:35.789 --> 00:12:38.070 I Call Bullshit that's going to be before this, 00:12:38.230 --> 00:12:40.570 that everyone's going to hear. And it's about 00:12:40.570 --> 00:12:42.649 this specific subject, and that's why I brought 00:12:42.649 --> 00:12:48.570 it up on our intro. So, anyhow, the political 00:12:48.570 --> 00:12:51.049 climate has reached a fever pitch, and I'm fucking 00:12:51.049 --> 00:12:54.549 sick of it. That is why we all get to enjoy a 00:12:54.549 --> 00:12:58.230 brand new I Call Bullshit. A lot of people have 00:12:58.230 --> 00:13:01.440 earned it. So... So, all right, now I'm going 00:13:01.440 --> 00:13:04.100 to get to the other stuff. That was my little, 00:13:04.200 --> 00:13:07.259 hey, this is why you got the I call bullshit. 00:13:07.299 --> 00:13:09.460 I think anyone with any type of brain at all 00:13:09.460 --> 00:13:11.080 will understand what I'm talking about. I've 00:13:11.080 --> 00:13:14.100 been through it. So, all right. Rob, I got another 00:13:14.100 --> 00:13:18.049 Walmart story for you. I'm not sure what happened 00:13:18.049 --> 00:13:20.409 to the other guy that I had trained not to fuck 00:13:20.409 --> 00:13:22.929 with me anymore. You know, the one that I took 00:13:22.929 --> 00:13:26.110 like an hour. Yeah, yeah. I took like an hour 00:13:26.110 --> 00:13:29.250 trying to open up my email, which I purposely 00:13:29.250 --> 00:13:31.070 kept putting in the wrong password and it was 00:13:31.070 --> 00:13:32.710 driving him nuts. So I got the point across. 00:13:32.830 --> 00:13:35.110 He said, I'm not going to bother you again. Sorry. 00:13:35.549 --> 00:13:39.690 So they have a new guy there. He stops me and 00:13:39.690 --> 00:13:41.830 he barely looked in my bags and scratched off 00:13:41.830 --> 00:13:43.889 the receipt. So I turn around and I ask him, 00:13:43.909 --> 00:13:48.240 I go, How many items did I have? He starts stumbling 00:13:48.240 --> 00:13:52.039 and muttering. And then I ask him, why are you 00:13:52.039 --> 00:13:54.019 wasting my time if you're not going to actually 00:13:54.019 --> 00:13:56.820 check it? I go, I want you to clear me from not 00:13:56.820 --> 00:14:00.419 being a criminal. Can you do that, please? He 00:14:00.419 --> 00:14:03.700 looks funny. I go, yeah. I go, why did you stop 00:14:03.700 --> 00:14:06.240 me and not do it? All you did was just scratch 00:14:06.240 --> 00:14:10.240 off my fucking receipt. I said, you just wasted 00:14:10.240 --> 00:14:13.379 my time is what you did. And he didn't know what 00:14:13.379 --> 00:14:17.879 to say. So I think I won that one, too, because 00:14:17.879 --> 00:14:20.720 I was exactly right. How would you like a cop 00:14:20.720 --> 00:14:23.620 to stop you, right? And then just go, hey, I 00:14:23.620 --> 00:14:26.139 got nothing. What do you mean you got nothing? 00:14:26.840 --> 00:14:28.620 I'm glad I'm not getting a ticket, but why did 00:14:28.620 --> 00:14:31.120 you stop me and waste my time? I don't know. 00:14:31.659 --> 00:14:34.220 Just look like I'm doing my job. Yeah, I can 00:14:34.220 --> 00:14:35.740 call it in and go, hey, I got someone stopped. 00:14:35.980 --> 00:14:39.120 Found nothing on him. Sorry. Bye. You see, you 00:14:39.120 --> 00:14:42.440 see. That's why I got out of the city. You don't 00:14:42.440 --> 00:14:45.129 have that shit. You get out of the city. You 00:14:45.129 --> 00:14:49.750 go to Walmart. Rob, I understand that, Rob. But, 00:14:49.750 --> 00:14:55.269 you know, I cannot leave better. I need better 00:14:55.269 --> 00:14:57.870 medical facilities. I have health issues, and 00:14:57.870 --> 00:15:00.210 I need to be in the city. Right. And that's the 00:15:00.210 --> 00:15:02.629 long and short of it. I cannot be down there. 00:15:03.549 --> 00:15:08.409 That's just the way it is. Right. So, anyhow, 00:15:08.629 --> 00:15:11.190 we'll move on. Yesterday was National Plan of 00:15:11.190 --> 00:15:14.899 Vacation Day. And guess what I did? I planned 00:15:14.899 --> 00:15:18.139 a vacation, though I'll have to cancel it most 00:15:18.139 --> 00:15:20.820 likely. Val and I both have a surgery scheduled 00:15:20.820 --> 00:15:24.620 this year. Do you and the missus have anything 00:15:24.620 --> 00:15:30.500 planned this year? Well, yeah, we do have a float 00:15:30.500 --> 00:15:33.360 trip that we're going to take with my family. 00:15:33.700 --> 00:15:42.950 Cool. Actually, last year, last July, the last 00:15:42.950 --> 00:15:46.909 week vacation, the last week of July on vacation, 00:15:47.210 --> 00:15:52.049 and went on that first weekend on a float trip 00:15:52.049 --> 00:15:55.710 with my family. Well, that's when me and Princess 00:15:55.710 --> 00:15:58.929 were told about each other, and that's when we 00:15:58.929 --> 00:16:03.830 started talking, and here we are. So we're going 00:16:03.830 --> 00:16:06.370 to have another float trip, and this year she's 00:16:06.370 --> 00:16:09.190 actually going to go on it. She had to work last 00:16:09.190 --> 00:16:14.899 year. Oh, okay. So we actually would have met 00:16:14.899 --> 00:16:18.659 in person that day. Are you the type of guy? 00:16:18.740 --> 00:16:23.440 Oh, go ahead. I'm sorry. Go ahead. But honestly, 00:16:23.759 --> 00:16:29.299 yes, I have a surgery in my future too. Oh, okay. 00:16:29.360 --> 00:16:34.240 I didn't know that. It's a small surgery. No 00:16:34.240 --> 00:16:37.360 big deal. Okay. I'm just going to be off work 00:16:37.360 --> 00:16:41.190 for two, three weeks. okay i've got a hernia 00:16:41.190 --> 00:16:46.009 surgery a hernia surgery coming up um and sometimes 00:16:46.009 --> 00:16:52.110 it depends okay okay all right that's cool um 00:16:52.110 --> 00:16:56.590 so But anyhow, you know, I'm going to have to 00:16:56.590 --> 00:16:58.750 cancel it, I know, because, you know, we both 00:16:58.750 --> 00:17:00.950 have medical stuff coming on, and I've got to 00:17:00.950 --> 00:17:04.089 switch my doctors. I spoke about that, how it's 00:17:04.089 --> 00:17:06.109 like a subscription service now. You have to 00:17:06.109 --> 00:17:09.069 pay so much a month to be in it, but you get 00:17:09.069 --> 00:17:11.289 better care. But, you know, with the surgery 00:17:11.289 --> 00:17:13.430 coming up and all that, I had to quit them today, 00:17:13.609 --> 00:17:16.170 which sucks, because I really like them. And 00:17:16.170 --> 00:17:18.130 I had to find another one, but another doctor 00:17:18.130 --> 00:17:21.849 you can't get in until almost June. So it really 00:17:21.849 --> 00:17:24.210 kind of sucks. call my doctor back up and go 00:17:24.210 --> 00:17:27.170 hey could you up all of my meds for three months 00:17:27.170 --> 00:17:29.029 because that's how long it's going to take me 00:17:29.029 --> 00:17:31.710 to get to a new doctor and they were they're 00:17:31.710 --> 00:17:34.950 like yeah we can do that so it worked out but 00:17:34.950 --> 00:17:37.269 um if you're looking at vacations i want you 00:17:37.269 --> 00:17:39.269 to look at this and anyone else that's listening 00:17:39.269 --> 00:17:42.289 to this ruby falls tennessee have you ever heard 00:17:42.289 --> 00:17:46.660 of it i've heard of it yeah Okay, well, look 00:17:46.660 --> 00:17:49.519 at the images, because I've heard of it, but 00:17:49.519 --> 00:17:51.940 I never looked at the images. This is a huge 00:17:51.940 --> 00:17:56.759 underground waterfall and park. It's close to 00:17:56.759 --> 00:17:59.220 Chattanooga, and then you have the Smoky Mountains 00:17:59.220 --> 00:18:03.200 up above. So I'm hoping we can figure this out. 00:18:03.339 --> 00:18:06.200 You know, maybe we'll do like one less or two 00:18:06.200 --> 00:18:08.779 less Eureka Springs trips this year and just 00:18:08.779 --> 00:18:11.119 do a little bit longer one. I mean, we just really 00:18:11.119 --> 00:18:13.099 can't leave the country because my mom's health. 00:18:13.440 --> 00:18:16.519 And we also have some friends, their health isn't. 00:18:16.519 --> 00:18:18.819 So there's a lot of reasons why we can't just 00:18:18.819 --> 00:18:25.039 up and go like we normally do. Honestly, if me 00:18:25.039 --> 00:18:28.940 and Princess get a chance, we want to venture 00:18:28.940 --> 00:18:34.329 that way too. The Ruby Falls? Well, not so... 00:18:34.329 --> 00:18:40.490 Or Chattanooga? Yeah, like Smokies, you know, 00:18:40.490 --> 00:18:43.410 in that area. You know what, maybe we could coordinate 00:18:43.410 --> 00:18:45.490 something. You know what, let's leave that for 00:18:45.490 --> 00:18:48.430 later. You and I talking about it, not on here. 00:18:48.809 --> 00:18:51.190 And yeah, I wouldn't mind doing that, especially 00:18:51.190 --> 00:18:53.150 with some friends like you guys. That would be 00:18:53.150 --> 00:18:57.890 pretty cool. Yeah, and you know, you guys could 00:18:57.890 --> 00:19:00.819 take your vehicle. I could take the douchebag 00:19:00.819 --> 00:19:04.099 mobile. We could advertise. That sounds great 00:19:04.099 --> 00:19:08.960 to me. Yeah, hell yeah. And have a lot of Facebook 00:19:08.960 --> 00:19:13.940 photos. Yeah, a lot of memories. A lot of memories. 00:19:14.440 --> 00:19:16.619 We got a lot of listeners down there at the City 00:19:16.619 --> 00:19:19.839 Market, Topher and I, just by word of mouth. 00:19:19.960 --> 00:19:22.019 Everyone knows who we are. We're a staple down 00:19:22.019 --> 00:19:24.599 there. We really got a good deal. We were talking 00:19:24.599 --> 00:19:30.140 about it today off of the podcast. what do they 00:19:30.140 --> 00:19:33.019 call it, the new bridge coming up that's going 00:19:33.019 --> 00:19:37.839 to be a big entertainment area, the Rock Island 00:19:37.839 --> 00:19:40.319 Bridge. And it's going to be really cool because 00:19:40.319 --> 00:19:42.779 it's an old truss bridge, old railroad bridge, 00:19:42.900 --> 00:19:44.740 one of the first ones in the area, the first 00:19:44.740 --> 00:19:48.099 one in the area. And what they did was they built 00:19:48.099 --> 00:19:53.539 it to where it could handle human traffic, you 00:19:53.539 --> 00:19:57.059 know, walking. uh it's you know and they put 00:19:57.059 --> 00:20:00.119 new trusses on it and redid the levees and all 00:20:00.119 --> 00:20:02.559 that stuff but the thing is is this is going 00:20:02.559 --> 00:20:05.960 to be all parkway and it's going to be bars restaurants 00:20:06.920 --> 00:20:11.000 and scenic uh areas scenic parks and there's 00:20:11.000 --> 00:20:13.460 going to be walkways from each side of the kansas 00:20:13.460 --> 00:20:15.759 river not the missouri river the kansas river 00:20:15.759 --> 00:20:18.759 where basically where it spills into the missouri 00:20:18.759 --> 00:20:21.539 river where the kansas river ends and then the 00:20:21.539 --> 00:20:23.559 missouri river you know it goes into the missouri 00:20:23.559 --> 00:20:26.259 river so it's going to be really nice but we 00:20:26.259 --> 00:20:28.380 already talked about we're like you know as cool 00:20:28.380 --> 00:20:30.460 as that area is going to be to do a podcast from 00:20:30.990 --> 00:20:32.869 We're probably not going to stray from the Sydney 00:20:32.869 --> 00:20:36.390 market very much because of the clientele, if 00:20:36.390 --> 00:20:38.329 you will, or whatever, the listenership, the 00:20:38.329 --> 00:20:42.359 people. that listen to us there and know us. 00:20:42.759 --> 00:20:44.799 And I mean, Carollo's has been a big part of 00:20:44.799 --> 00:20:47.660 it, and so has City Market Coffee. They've been 00:20:47.660 --> 00:20:49.940 two staples that have supported us from the day 00:20:49.940 --> 00:20:52.440 we were there from day one. We have really good 00:20:52.440 --> 00:20:55.259 friends in each one of those businesses, Nicole 00:20:55.259 --> 00:20:59.059 and Franco, and the rest of the guys too. I just 00:20:59.059 --> 00:21:01.059 don't happen to know the Carollos, the rest of 00:21:01.059 --> 00:21:04.720 them. But Franco is a great guy, and he's been 00:21:04.720 --> 00:21:07.039 on the podcast quite a bit. So we're probably 00:21:07.039 --> 00:21:09.140 not going to be able to leave that area. And 00:21:09.140 --> 00:21:12.079 we don't want to either. It's magical there. 00:21:12.220 --> 00:21:14.500 But it's going to be interesting to see how this 00:21:14.500 --> 00:21:19.480 other place is for a podcast. So I'm going to 00:21:19.480 --> 00:21:21.779 move on from that. You know, Rob, before you 00:21:21.779 --> 00:21:24.180 were married and still single, would it have 00:21:24.180 --> 00:21:26.640 been nice just to receive a random sex call from 00:21:26.640 --> 00:21:30.799 a chick? You know, you're just sitting there 00:21:30.799 --> 00:21:35.990 and all of a sudden, hello? What you doing? Oh, 00:21:36.109 --> 00:21:38.109 just sitting here. Oh, yeah. You know, and then 00:21:38.109 --> 00:21:40.049 they go on with it. You know, you're like, oh, 00:21:40.069 --> 00:21:42.630 okay, you got my interest. All right. Wouldn't 00:21:42.630 --> 00:21:48.410 that have been cool, right? No, not married. 00:21:48.589 --> 00:21:54.130 Not married. Not with your girl. Single. That's 00:21:54.130 --> 00:21:56.569 what I'm saying. A short time ago, I have a good 00:21:56.569 --> 00:21:59.450 memory. Okay, well, it would have been cool. 00:21:59.529 --> 00:22:01.049 I'm going to go in. It may or may not have happened. 00:22:01.150 --> 00:22:08.180 Just saying. Okay, well, you know. No, no, no, 00:22:08.180 --> 00:22:13.519 just a call. Well, we didn't know this, but we 00:22:13.519 --> 00:22:16.920 should have became librarians. Seems as though 00:22:16.920 --> 00:22:19.819 perverts have found a newer niche for their jollies. 00:22:19.960 --> 00:22:22.799 They call up librarians and attempt to naughty 00:22:22.799 --> 00:22:28.039 talk them. There's some bored people out there, 00:22:28.039 --> 00:22:32.980 Rob. So let me clue you in on what would -be 00:22:32.980 --> 00:22:36.019 librarians in on something. It normally takes 00:22:36.019 --> 00:22:39.500 a master's degree in library science to get this 00:22:39.500 --> 00:22:44.000 gig. Okay, so check this out. I didn't know this 00:22:44.000 --> 00:22:46.180 until I started reading this article about librarians 00:22:46.180 --> 00:22:48.400 are getting sick of people calling up and, you 00:22:48.400 --> 00:22:50.359 know, whatever, fucking rubbing and tugging or 00:22:50.359 --> 00:22:52.480 whatever they're doing and trying to talk dirty 00:22:52.480 --> 00:22:54.779 with them and, you know, it's getting... Yeah, 00:22:54.779 --> 00:22:58.869 yeah, yeah. So librarians' medium income is roughly 00:22:58.869 --> 00:23:03.789 $72 ,000 a year, but easily can jump up to $100 00:23:03.789 --> 00:23:07.769 ,000 with certain certifications. Imagine a $100 00:23:07.769 --> 00:23:11.130 ,000 a year job and all the dirty talk you can 00:23:11.130 --> 00:23:16.319 handle. Is that not your dream job, Rob? hell 00:23:16.319 --> 00:23:19.400 yeah let's become librarians we get 100 grand 00:23:19.400 --> 00:23:21.519 a year and we have people calling us up going 00:23:21.519 --> 00:23:24.299 well not guys i i mean we don't we don't go that 00:23:24.299 --> 00:23:26.599 way nothing wrong with it whatever you know but 00:23:26.599 --> 00:23:31.759 but yeah yeah yeah hetero only for us you know 00:23:31.759 --> 00:23:34.420 it's just our preference so don't get mad at 00:23:34.420 --> 00:23:39.440 us um you know so um yeah we never knew it rob 00:23:39.440 --> 00:23:45.759 wouldn't you apply to yourself Okay, what's that? 00:23:46.700 --> 00:23:51.039 There would have to be alcohol allowed. Oh, yeah. 00:23:52.980 --> 00:23:55.680 I'd shut the library down. Let's say it's supposed 00:23:55.680 --> 00:23:58.259 to be shut down at 5. I'd shut it down at 3 every 00:23:58.259 --> 00:24:00.599 day and go, all right, everybody in. Everyone's 00:24:00.599 --> 00:24:05.220 out is out. Bring out the alcohol. Start drinking. 00:24:05.259 --> 00:24:07.779 Start taking phone calls. There we go. All right. 00:24:07.900 --> 00:24:09.799 Come on. Bring them on in. All right. Line number 00:24:09.799 --> 00:24:13.180 one. Okay. Oh, who is this? Jenny? All right. 00:24:13.180 --> 00:24:16.579 Jenny, line number one. Who wants Jenny? You 00:24:16.579 --> 00:24:20.539 want to talk about double shifts? You're working 00:24:20.539 --> 00:24:22.980 late again, Mark. Yeah, sorry. I can't help it. 00:24:23.079 --> 00:24:24.519 I mean, there are a lot of stuff to do. You know, 00:24:24.539 --> 00:24:26.240 there are a lot of pages to be turned and what 00:24:26.240 --> 00:24:29.640 have you. Sorry. Sorry, Francis. We had a lot 00:24:29.640 --> 00:24:32.220 of people return books today. Yeah, yeah. I'm 00:24:32.220 --> 00:24:37.720 going to be here for a couple hours. Sorry. So, 00:24:37.720 --> 00:24:42.319 anyhow. Thank God she don't listen. She's like, 00:24:42.380 --> 00:24:44.220 well, she don't want to listen. Yes, yes, yes, 00:24:44.220 --> 00:24:46.839 yes. Yep, yep. And that's why we're allowed to 00:24:46.839 --> 00:24:49.859 talk like this. If they did listen. Yes, they 00:24:49.859 --> 00:24:56.420 know us. Yes. I love it. So, I have a public 00:24:56.420 --> 00:24:58.819 service announcement for all our meth -using 00:24:58.819 --> 00:25:03.400 listeners. Yes, sir. Muthersons, if your new 00:25:03.400 --> 00:25:05.769 dealer has all his teeth, He's really a cop. 00:25:07.049 --> 00:25:12.130 Yes. You're welcome. Yes. So there you go. It's 00:25:12.130 --> 00:25:15.490 a well -known fact that the Golden Gate Bridge 00:25:15.490 --> 00:25:18.269 has a high suicide rate, right? We all know this. 00:25:18.849 --> 00:25:23.049 Yeah. The bridge was erected in 1933. Since then, 00:25:23.089 --> 00:25:26.609 it has averaged around 30 suicides per year via 00:25:26.609 --> 00:25:30.480 jumping into the ocean. And I guess that would 00:25:30.480 --> 00:25:33.839 probably, except for the fact of suffocating 00:25:33.839 --> 00:25:36.500 because your lungs are full of water, probably 00:25:36.500 --> 00:25:38.920 one of the better ways to die, right? You know, 00:25:38.940 --> 00:25:43.000 beautiful ocean, be a part of nature when you 00:25:43.000 --> 00:25:44.720 die, I guess. You know, there's probably a lot 00:25:44.720 --> 00:25:47.380 of appeals to people that have that type of a 00:25:47.380 --> 00:25:48.900 mindset. You know, they don't want to be here 00:25:48.900 --> 00:25:50.519 anymore. And they're like, yeah, there's a great 00:25:50.519 --> 00:25:56.559 way to end it. Let's see. It was erected in 1933. 00:25:56.799 --> 00:26:00.420 Like I said, it averages 30 suicides. The last 00:26:00.420 --> 00:26:02.640 two years, the bridge has averaged only one per 00:26:02.640 --> 00:26:05.940 year. The powers that be over in San Francisco 00:26:05.940 --> 00:26:09.299 finally installed a six -foot -high barrier to 00:26:09.299 --> 00:26:11.960 slow down or stop the jumpers. Which is cool, 00:26:12.059 --> 00:26:14.220 right? Okay, you know, a lot of those people 00:26:14.220 --> 00:26:16.079 probably came to their senses in a couple of 00:26:16.079 --> 00:26:18.319 days and were like, oh my God, I'm so glad that 00:26:18.319 --> 00:26:20.259 barrier was there. You know, I want to be here. 00:26:20.400 --> 00:26:21.519 You know, I just found out I'm going to have 00:26:21.519 --> 00:26:23.819 a grandkid or something like that, right? So 00:26:23.819 --> 00:26:25.579 they're probably happy. They're like, okay, thank 00:26:25.579 --> 00:26:28.519 God they had that barrier. My question is this, 00:26:28.539 --> 00:26:32.019 Rob. The answer was simple enough. Why wasn't 00:26:32.019 --> 00:26:37.059 it done earlier? How come it took them since 00:26:37.059 --> 00:26:42.000 1933? 30 suicides roughly a year. How come it 00:26:42.000 --> 00:26:46.539 took them until 2024 to actually build this barrier? 00:26:49.019 --> 00:26:52.859 Do you want my honest opinion on this? Yes, I 00:26:52.859 --> 00:26:56.660 do. That's why I'm asking. Because back in the 00:26:56.660 --> 00:27:01.680 day, society would allow people like that to 00:27:01.680 --> 00:27:05.579 weed themselves out. That is a very good answer. 00:27:07.049 --> 00:27:09.170 I think I believe that. I think that's true. 00:27:09.750 --> 00:27:22.650 Yes. No, you're right. Everybody tries to protect... 00:27:22.650 --> 00:27:25.630 Yeah, I understand. You've got to watch out after 00:27:25.630 --> 00:27:29.529 people like that. I'm human. I have feelings, 00:27:29.589 --> 00:27:38.210 too. Yeah, yes. It was viewed as a man's right 00:27:38.210 --> 00:27:40.789 to his opinion on what he needs to do with his 00:27:40.789 --> 00:27:45.769 life. I agree. I agree. And if the guy was so 00:27:45.769 --> 00:27:47.950 dismal that he felt like that's the only thing 00:27:47.950 --> 00:27:49.750 he could do, they accepted it better. They're 00:27:49.750 --> 00:27:53.190 like, okay, Mr. Jones is not fucking happy, and 00:27:53.190 --> 00:27:55.349 he doesn't want to be here, and he says he's 00:27:55.349 --> 00:27:57.829 going to end himself, and okay, all right, we 00:27:57.829 --> 00:28:01.490 respect that. And I'm talking back in the 50s, 00:28:01.569 --> 00:28:07.990 60s, 70s. Yes. Years ago. And it wasn't so prevalent. 00:28:08.009 --> 00:28:11.069 It wasn't so prevalent back then either. Not 00:28:11.069 --> 00:28:13.650 like it is now. Today's society, fast moving, 00:28:13.950 --> 00:28:16.890 disappointments, failures, kicks in the face. 00:28:16.990 --> 00:28:19.710 And now everybody's feelings are taken into consideration. 00:28:19.930 --> 00:28:22.470 Yes, and the feelings is one of the worst things 00:28:22.470 --> 00:28:24.329 that ever happened to America, in my opinion. 00:28:24.569 --> 00:28:26.430 Once you start getting these feelings involved, 00:28:26.690 --> 00:28:30.390 all rational common sense goes away. Been proven. 00:28:30.829 --> 00:28:35.640 Been proven. So I was thinking maybe the mayors 00:28:35.640 --> 00:28:37.440 over there that have been there over the years, 00:28:37.539 --> 00:28:42.099 maybe that was their way of self -assisted suicide. 00:28:42.259 --> 00:28:43.619 They weren't that worried about it. They're like, 00:28:43.640 --> 00:28:46.279 you know, we don't necessarily care if someone, 00:28:46.400 --> 00:28:49.680 you know, kills themselves, if that's what they 00:28:49.680 --> 00:28:52.140 want to do. Maybe they felt like, but they'll 00:28:52.140 --> 00:28:54.779 never say it is, is let them if that's what they 00:28:54.779 --> 00:28:57.740 want to do. And then because of all the outrage 00:28:57.740 --> 00:29:01.109 of people jumping in. They had to do something, 00:29:01.190 --> 00:29:02.869 and they had to put a show, so they did that 00:29:02.869 --> 00:29:07.170 six -foot barrier. That's exactly what it was. 00:29:07.730 --> 00:29:13.329 Yes. Yep. Yeah, I thought that was pretty interesting, 00:29:13.410 --> 00:29:19.930 that story. I've got another story here. There's 00:29:19.930 --> 00:29:22.589 a new form of hearing aid, Rob, and I'm going 00:29:22.589 --> 00:29:25.599 to check into this because... I need a different 00:29:25.599 --> 00:29:27.440 type of hearing aid. I need something that works 00:29:27.440 --> 00:29:30.619 better with me because I have tinnitus, and I 00:29:30.619 --> 00:29:32.420 don't need something that's going to amplify 00:29:32.420 --> 00:29:35.380 the ringing, but it's going to amplify the people 00:29:35.380 --> 00:29:38.660 talking. You see what I mean? Right, right. No, 00:29:38.779 --> 00:29:41.160 I know exactly what you're talking about. I've 00:29:41.160 --> 00:29:45.059 done some research on that. Okay. Yes. Okay, 00:29:45.180 --> 00:29:47.079 I'm glad you did because I don't have to explain 00:29:47.079 --> 00:29:51.400 it. Not for me, for somebody else. Okay. So it's 00:29:51.400 --> 00:29:53.619 a very distinct ringing that you don't like. 00:29:54.170 --> 00:29:57.630 It's annoying as fuck. About all you can do is 00:29:57.630 --> 00:30:01.529 do diversions, you know, like other noises, white 00:30:01.529 --> 00:30:06.089 noise, static, whatever suits you. You can do 00:30:06.089 --> 00:30:08.210 that at night to hide it. During the day, I don't 00:30:08.210 --> 00:30:11.329 notice it, background noises, unless I realize, 00:30:11.490 --> 00:30:14.170 I go, okay, I know it's there and I listen. I'm 00:30:14.170 --> 00:30:16.730 like, okay, there it is. Okay. It's kind of a 00:30:16.730 --> 00:30:21.019 weird deal. Anyhow, there's a new form of hearing 00:30:21.019 --> 00:30:24.960 aid. This is part of the bone conducting experiments, 00:30:25.380 --> 00:30:27.700 if I could talk right. The hearing aid works 00:30:27.700 --> 00:30:32.279 through bone vibrations, Rob. Isn't that interesting? 00:30:33.640 --> 00:30:36.799 Actually, I take that bike in one of the articles 00:30:36.799 --> 00:30:40.470 I read. Okay, it probably was. Go ahead, go ahead. 00:30:40.609 --> 00:30:43.269 No, go ahead. Okay, the hearing aid works through 00:30:43.269 --> 00:30:46.150 bone vibrations. This device is just being introduced 00:30:46.150 --> 00:30:49.210 to the United Kingdom. It is not yet available 00:30:49.210 --> 00:30:52.829 in the United States. It is a bone conducting 00:30:52.829 --> 00:30:56.049 device which does not require an operation. It 00:30:56.049 --> 00:31:00.089 goes into an ITM, which is an abbreviation for 00:31:00.089 --> 00:31:04.329 in the mouth, and BTE, or behind the ear. Either 00:31:04.329 --> 00:31:06.750 one works. You can put it in your mouth. The 00:31:06.750 --> 00:31:09.730 device is just being introduced in the UK, like 00:31:09.730 --> 00:31:13.609 I said. And what it is is it's a clip that will 00:31:13.609 --> 00:31:17.589 either clip onto your teeth or clip onto the 00:31:17.589 --> 00:31:20.809 back of your ear on wherever you decide suits 00:31:20.809 --> 00:31:24.170 you best. But the thing is is it's much better 00:31:24.170 --> 00:31:27.049 because it becomes basically a part of your body 00:31:27.049 --> 00:31:30.069 by coming through with your bone vibrations. 00:31:30.289 --> 00:31:34.900 Yes, yes. I find this fascinating because of 00:31:34.900 --> 00:31:41.140 the string theory. The string theory by Dr. Michio 00:31:41.140 --> 00:31:45.240 Kaku or Kako or something like that is really 00:31:45.240 --> 00:31:49.420 interesting. Everything is done by vibration 00:31:49.420 --> 00:31:54.779 strands. Is that where the people got this idea 00:31:54.779 --> 00:31:57.900 from? I don't know. I find it fascinating that 00:31:57.900 --> 00:32:00.779 this is done with vibrations like trees have 00:32:00.779 --> 00:32:03.220 been proven to communicate with each other in 00:32:03.220 --> 00:32:07.960 forests. It's through vibrations. So now they're 00:32:07.960 --> 00:32:11.799 introducing this to people, right? And it seems 00:32:11.799 --> 00:32:14.799 to be working. Yeah. So if everything isn't part 00:32:14.799 --> 00:32:17.539 of everything, I don't know what is. I call it 00:32:17.539 --> 00:32:20.079 God. Anyone else can call it whatever. But I 00:32:20.079 --> 00:32:23.319 find this experiment and what's coming up extremely 00:32:23.319 --> 00:32:27.839 fascinating. Very cool. So, um, I've got more, 00:32:27.940 --> 00:32:30.119 but Rob, you have some stuff you definitely want 00:32:30.119 --> 00:32:33.940 to talk about. So let's go to that. Yes, I do. 00:32:34.259 --> 00:32:41.180 All right. Um, okay. Well, normally this, during 00:32:41.180 --> 00:32:45.619 this time, I do like of the Ozark news and we 00:32:45.619 --> 00:32:49.960 love it, which I'm going to get to, this is going 00:32:49.960 --> 00:32:54.720 to be a two part. Okay. So I, Tonight's version 00:32:54.720 --> 00:33:01.279 is going to be called Life on 54 Highway. I love 00:33:01.279 --> 00:33:10.039 that title. Love that title. Okay, this morning. 00:33:12.039 --> 00:33:21.319 And this happened on 54 Highway. I live here 00:33:21.319 --> 00:33:25.839 in Wheatland. I drive to Campton. 45 minutes? 00:33:26.480 --> 00:33:36.759 40 minutes. Okay. So, I stopped at Casey's to 00:33:36.759 --> 00:33:42.000 grab my two Loka Moka monsters. Get a rev start. 00:33:42.740 --> 00:33:47.339 Yep. Because, you know, it was in the teens this 00:33:47.339 --> 00:33:50.079 morning. Yeah, yeah, it was. It was quite chilly. 00:33:50.619 --> 00:33:54.859 Yeah, yeah. So, I ran to Casey's. Well, I get 00:33:54.859 --> 00:34:00.740 back in the truck. I pull out. And right behind 00:34:00.740 --> 00:34:04.599 Casey's is the magnificent Lucas Oil Speedway 00:34:04.599 --> 00:34:09.699 that I drive by twice a day. Uh -huh. At least. 00:34:10.500 --> 00:34:14.760 But anyway, I get going past there. And water. 00:34:16.159 --> 00:34:19.119 Yeah, and water track. Yeah, thank you. Thank 00:34:19.119 --> 00:34:22.360 you. All right. Well, right there at their gate. 00:34:22.699 --> 00:34:27.679 The speed limit picks up to 60. Well, there was 00:34:27.679 --> 00:34:32.619 nobody around. I'm running 60, 65, you know. 00:34:33.800 --> 00:34:42.460 I'd only been awake for over an hour. And it's 00:34:42.460 --> 00:34:45.880 only a three -mile stretch between Wheatland 00:34:45.880 --> 00:34:54.519 and the town of Hermitage. Okay. down this valley 00:34:54.519 --> 00:35:00.400 you go you go around a couple it's like an S 00:35:00.400 --> 00:35:04.579 curve but they're wide curves with a stretch 00:35:04.579 --> 00:35:09.320 in between you know and then you come around 00:35:09.320 --> 00:35:12.719 them and then there's another couple S curves 00:35:12.719 --> 00:35:18.800 stretching you know in between and up this hill 00:35:18.800 --> 00:35:25.019 and hermitage three mile stretch okay Coming 00:35:25.019 --> 00:35:29.440 out of that first set of S -curves, I see this 00:35:29.440 --> 00:35:32.480 car coming up behind me. And there had been nobody 00:35:32.480 --> 00:35:39.539 behind me. So the guy had to be flying. Trust 00:35:39.539 --> 00:35:42.380 me, he was. And I'm going to get into that. Okay. 00:35:43.980 --> 00:35:50.280 Yeah. We touched on it before we went on the 00:35:50.280 --> 00:35:56.320 air. That's why I told you save it for now, but 00:35:56.320 --> 00:35:58.000 you were going to anyhow, so it didn't matter. 00:35:58.199 --> 00:36:00.679 Yes, because now I'm getting my feelings in it. 00:36:00.880 --> 00:36:06.360 All right. Just put it this way. This guy did 00:36:06.360 --> 00:36:12.380 not know when he woke up this morning that he 00:36:12.380 --> 00:36:16.880 would be known around the world. I don't know 00:36:16.880 --> 00:36:30.449 who he was. So, and I'm still around 60, 65. 00:36:30.650 --> 00:36:33.610 You know, speed limit's 60. Mm -hmm. Everybody 00:36:33.610 --> 00:36:40.329 runs 60, 65 through there. Uh -huh. And then 00:36:40.329 --> 00:36:43.369 once you get on the other side of Hermann, it's 00:36:43.369 --> 00:36:48.289 a different story. You run 65, 70. Mm -hmm. All 00:36:48.289 --> 00:36:52.989 the way over to Mass Creek. Anyway, where I get 00:36:52.989 --> 00:36:56.269 into that other stretch, and I come around to... 00:36:56.619 --> 00:37:00.559 The first corner of the second set. Well, by 00:37:00.559 --> 00:37:05.239 the time I got to the bottom of that hill, this 00:37:05.239 --> 00:37:14.460 dude was literally on my tailgate. No, Mark. 00:37:15.139 --> 00:37:18.659 I'm not kidding you. We're going up this hill 00:37:18.659 --> 00:37:27.480 60 mile an hour. And this guy's... was about 00:37:27.480 --> 00:37:33.400 a foot and a half behind the douchebag mobile's 00:37:33.400 --> 00:37:37.739 back bumper. Oh, boy. It was that close. Oh, 00:37:37.739 --> 00:37:40.900 that would have fucking pissed me off. I could 00:37:40.900 --> 00:37:43.980 see it in the side mirror. I could see his light, 00:37:44.099 --> 00:37:46.800 and that's how I could tell. I could see the 00:37:46.800 --> 00:37:50.539 taillight of the truck. He was that fucking close. 00:37:50.599 --> 00:38:11.929 And his headlight was right there. Ooh. Mm -hmm. 00:38:16.010 --> 00:38:31.650 Oh, okay. I couldn't even tell you back there. 00:38:32.250 --> 00:38:39.469 Because this is at 635 this morning. Okay? Well, 00:38:39.610 --> 00:38:44.349 we get up the hill. We get into Hermitage. And 00:38:44.349 --> 00:38:50.070 the speed limit down to 45. I'm doing 45. Peaking 00:38:50.070 --> 00:39:02.449 50. And this dude is running up on me. Yeah, 00:39:03.230 --> 00:39:09.469 so you're going to let him around. Uh -huh. Okay. 00:39:31.800 --> 00:39:35.199 Yeah. That was my plan this whole time. Okay. 00:39:37.659 --> 00:39:45.300 Well, we're like a block and a half. A block 00:39:45.300 --> 00:39:50.099 and a half from Five Star, okay? Okay. We're 00:39:50.099 --> 00:39:53.500 coming around another curve right before you 00:39:53.500 --> 00:39:57.679 get to Five Star. And there's like this little 00:39:57.679 --> 00:40:03.510 hill. I look in my room here. And this dude is 00:40:03.510 --> 00:40:09.110 just as close again. I mean, this is going through. 00:40:09.269 --> 00:40:14.570 It's actually for a small town of like two. I 00:40:14.570 --> 00:40:18.190 forget to get the population. It's only like 00:40:18.190 --> 00:40:37.090 200 or 300 or so. that close again. And by that 00:40:37.090 --> 00:40:41.329 time I was done for. You know me. I was done. 00:40:41.730 --> 00:40:46.829 The old me kicked in. I was like, I'm a five 00:40:46.829 --> 00:40:56.090 star. Well, I was watching in my mirror. Like 00:40:56.090 --> 00:40:59.789 I said, all I had, the only headlight I could 00:40:59.789 --> 00:41:03.250 see was on the driver's side. He was way too 00:41:03.250 --> 00:41:07.869 fucking close. Yeah, I mean, I couldn't even 00:41:07.869 --> 00:41:10.670 see the passenger side, so he was over towards 00:41:10.670 --> 00:41:13.969 the line. I couldn't even see his passenger side. 00:41:14.809 --> 00:41:24.829 Like, well, he backed off a little bit. Fuck 00:41:24.829 --> 00:41:32.440 him, I brake checked him right there. Okay. 6 00:41:32.440 --> 00:41:37.239 .35 in the morning. Nobody else around. Uh -huh. 00:41:39.980 --> 00:41:42.300 I'm figuring this dude's in a hurry, you know. 00:41:42.420 --> 00:41:44.539 So that's what I was trying to do. Trying to 00:41:44.539 --> 00:41:46.260 hurry up and get to Five Star and get out of 00:41:46.260 --> 00:41:49.159 his way. That's why I was running 50. Yeah. Yeah, 00:41:49.219 --> 00:41:53.039 this is all 50 mile an hour, Mark. And actually, 00:41:53.079 --> 00:42:02.010 it started about 65 mile an hour. Wow. As soon 00:42:02.010 --> 00:42:06.670 as I brake checked him, he backed off, come flying 00:42:06.670 --> 00:42:09.909 around me. And at this point, 54 Highway is too 00:42:09.909 --> 00:42:14.369 late. Mm -hmm. Double yellow line. Uh -huh. On 00:42:14.369 --> 00:42:19.809 a hill, on a curve. Oh, what a dumbass. No, he 00:42:19.809 --> 00:42:22.429 gets in front of me and this motherfucker stops. 00:42:23.610 --> 00:42:27.969 What the fuck? Dead stop in the middle. 54 Highway. 00:42:32.619 --> 00:42:37.900 Ooh. He rolls down his window and flips me the 00:42:37.900 --> 00:42:44.820 bird. What the fuck is wrong with that guy? Okay. 00:42:45.059 --> 00:42:51.980 Uh -huh. He's lucky it was about 10 degrees. 00:42:52.639 --> 00:42:57.000 Mm -hmm. And I'm older, not who I used to be. 00:42:57.480 --> 00:43:00.800 Gotcha. That's what I said. Gotcha. Yeah. Well. 00:43:03.369 --> 00:43:06.190 Yeah, that standoff. And I'm watching in my rear 00:43:06.190 --> 00:43:08.929 view. I'm waiting for it. Because, dude, somebody 00:43:08.929 --> 00:43:13.230 coming at 45 miles an hour around that curve 00:43:13.230 --> 00:43:18.110 could cream me in the ass. You know what I mean? 00:43:18.369 --> 00:43:24.610 Yes. Yeah, I know what you mean. Well, so I wait. 00:43:24.650 --> 00:43:27.050 I'm watching. I'm watching both. I'm watching 00:43:27.050 --> 00:43:30.130 him. I'm watching Val. Well, all of a sudden, 00:43:30.170 --> 00:43:33.320 he lets off his brake. like he's going to go. 00:43:33.480 --> 00:43:36.579 So I let off my brake and my truck starts rolling. 00:43:37.900 --> 00:43:41.599 Well, he slams on his brake again, sticks his 00:43:41.599 --> 00:43:43.940 hand out the fucking window and starts flipping 00:43:43.940 --> 00:43:52.139 me and the bird again. Jesus. Gosh. Fuck. What 00:43:52.139 --> 00:43:58.219 a psychopath. Dude. And at this point, I'm thinking, 00:43:58.300 --> 00:44:04.400 well, no, at that point, I'm thinking, Yeah, 00:44:04.400 --> 00:44:07.860 yep. Because, yeah, I'd been out of that truck, 00:44:08.039 --> 00:44:10.820 had him out of that motherfucking car. Yeah, 00:44:10.840 --> 00:44:13.260 you'd be facing charges because you beat that 00:44:13.260 --> 00:44:23.179 fucker. It was a black 2000 -ish, 2010 -ish Toyota 00:44:23.179 --> 00:44:29.400 Corolla. Or, no, it was a Toyota. Anyone in a 00:44:29.400 --> 00:44:31.539 Toyota has no business fucking with a truck. 00:44:32.099 --> 00:44:36.739 Sorry, that's just the way it is. In a car, a 00:44:36.739 --> 00:44:41.539 Toyota car. I also have 240 pounds worth of sack 00:44:41.539 --> 00:44:43.719 cream in the back, too. Oh, yeah, that's right. 00:44:44.019 --> 00:44:47.300 That would slow him down a little bit. But anyway, 00:44:47.599 --> 00:44:52.900 he finally takes off, and I don't see him again. 00:44:53.280 --> 00:44:58.639 And I'm thinking, this dude's an idiot. Yeah. 00:45:02.000 --> 00:45:04.920 What is wrong with people? And, you know, like 00:45:04.920 --> 00:45:07.760 I said, at first, I'm thinking, okay, this guy's 00:45:07.760 --> 00:45:10.139 in a big hurt. You know, it could be medical. 00:45:10.280 --> 00:45:12.780 I don't know. He's driving like a... That's what 00:45:12.780 --> 00:45:18.280 I would have thought, too. I didn't have that 00:45:18.280 --> 00:45:21.019 chance. I would have done the same thing, Rob. 00:45:21.059 --> 00:45:23.000 I would have been like, this guy's having a problem. 00:45:23.179 --> 00:45:25.659 Fuck you. Now you're famous for being an asshole. 00:45:26.159 --> 00:45:31.099 Yeah, what a dickhead. Not an asshole. Yeah, 00:45:31.219 --> 00:45:34.039 yeah, not a good asshole. An asshole asshole. 00:45:34.340 --> 00:45:35.019 I don't know what the fuck you are. You're just 00:45:35.019 --> 00:45:39.679 a piece of shit. Yeah. I was trying to get a 00:45:39.679 --> 00:45:42.800 bit of a doubt, thinking he's in a hurry. Dude, 00:45:42.800 --> 00:45:44.199 he's got some middle of the fucking highway. 00:45:44.380 --> 00:45:47.179 You can't be in that big of a fucking hurry to 00:45:47.179 --> 00:45:48.960 stop in the middle of the highway and flip somebody 00:45:48.960 --> 00:45:55.039 off. No. Twice. I agree. Man, what a dickhead. 00:45:55.199 --> 00:46:02.699 Jeez. Yeah, I told you. Wow. Okay, and now we're 00:46:02.699 --> 00:46:05.380 going to go into the second part of this, which 00:46:05.380 --> 00:46:09.079 is a very more serious one. Yeah, yeah, yeah, 00:46:09.079 --> 00:46:12.320 yeah. I know about this part. Yeah, yeah, you 00:46:12.320 --> 00:46:19.780 do. And this is 54 Highway News. I'm excited 00:46:19.780 --> 00:46:22.360 about this segment. I'm really excited about 00:46:22.360 --> 00:46:26.880 that segment. I love that, 54 Highway News. Yeah. 00:46:38.280 --> 00:46:41.139 police officer Felicia Carson Memorial Bridge. 00:46:42.159 --> 00:46:46.300 Carson, 33, was killed in the line of duty on 00:46:46.300 --> 00:46:51.119 August 31st, 2024 while pursuing a driver on 00:46:51.119 --> 00:46:58.079 Highway 54 near Passover Road. The crash actually 00:46:58.079 --> 00:47:01.840 happened on a highway outside of Lake Creek. 00:47:02.320 --> 00:47:12.570 But anyway, she got in pursuit. the side of the 00:47:12.570 --> 00:47:15.789 road struck a tree and caught fire. On Friday, 00:47:16.090 --> 00:47:20.309 friends, family members, and community members 00:47:20.309 --> 00:47:25.889 attended, yeah, this was last Friday, attended 00:47:25.889 --> 00:47:30.010 an official ribbon -cutting ceremony for the 00:47:30.010 --> 00:47:34.150 bridge. Governor Mike Kehoe spoke about the impact 00:47:34.150 --> 00:47:39.469 of renaming will have on Carson's family, including 00:47:39.469 --> 00:47:46.260 her husband. Man, what a tragedy. What a tragedy. 00:47:46.500 --> 00:47:49.000 Just because some fucking piece of shit decided 00:47:49.000 --> 00:47:53.119 they're going to, in our opinion, decided they're 00:47:53.119 --> 00:47:56.719 going to run. That person, in my opinion, should 00:47:56.719 --> 00:47:59.039 be thrown in jail the rest of their life. Sorry, 00:47:59.099 --> 00:48:04.519 you end someone's life like that. I wish he would 00:48:04.519 --> 00:48:14.460 have got 50 ,000 years. Whenever you have something 00:48:14.460 --> 00:48:18.059 like this that's a tribute, it's sad when the 00:48:18.059 --> 00:48:21.139 family members see the sign. But at some point 00:48:21.139 --> 00:48:25.840 in time, pride will take over the sadness. Because 00:48:25.840 --> 00:48:29.860 you have come to realize memorializing and remembering 00:48:29.860 --> 00:48:34.679 and honoring a hero that truly served not only 00:48:34.679 --> 00:48:38.119 the state of Missouri, but this community. And 00:48:38.119 --> 00:48:51.610 that ends up being a good thing. Exactly. Perfect. 00:48:53.849 --> 00:49:17.380 Yes. points of Osage Beach she spent her career 00:49:17.380 --> 00:49:21.960 providing the passage for the citizens of Osage 00:49:21.960 --> 00:49:25.280 Beach and by naming this bridge in her honor 00:49:25.280 --> 00:49:29.019 we encourage every person who crosses over it 00:49:29.019 --> 00:49:33.219 to remember her courage that it takes to strive 00:49:33.219 --> 00:49:37.360 and the price sometimes our law enforcement officers 00:49:37.360 --> 00:49:43.280 give to their community the legislation to rename 00:49:43.280 --> 00:49:47.079 the bridge, was sponsored by State Representative 00:49:47.079 --> 00:49:53.820 Jeff Brunetti of Camden. Very good. Good job, 00:49:53.940 --> 00:49:57.059 State Representative Jeff Brunetti. Great job. 00:49:57.260 --> 00:50:01.880 Mike Kehoe, great job. All of you guys. Very 00:50:01.880 --> 00:50:04.679 deserving for a very nice young lady that lost 00:50:04.679 --> 00:50:10.380 her job protecting us. Or not her job, her life. 00:50:10.480 --> 00:50:14.889 Sorry. Yeah, it sucks. Like I said, left behind 00:50:14.889 --> 00:50:21.090 a husband, five young children. Officer Carson, 00:50:21.389 --> 00:50:26.010 she was very well known in the community. Well, 00:50:26.030 --> 00:50:30.170 she's on TV. She was on TV until that happened, 00:50:30.230 --> 00:50:32.309 and they showed the episode where that happened, 00:50:32.369 --> 00:50:34.329 too. Yeah, and you're seeing what kind of person 00:50:34.329 --> 00:50:36.289 she was. Very, very sweet lady. She was like 00:50:36.289 --> 00:50:40.110 that in real life. Oh, you can tell. You could 00:50:40.110 --> 00:50:42.610 tell. You could tell. Very soft -spoken, very 00:50:42.610 --> 00:50:45.710 gentle, very kind, but could get the job done 00:50:45.710 --> 00:50:47.550 if she needed. If you get out of line, she's 00:50:47.550 --> 00:50:50.090 going to whip your ass. Yes, and she did not 00:50:50.090 --> 00:50:52.329 deserve that fate at all because somebody was 00:50:52.329 --> 00:50:56.489 being an idiot. Yeah, so, all right, let's jam. 00:50:56.670 --> 00:51:00.630 Yeah, she was just a typical woman. Yes. Yep. 00:51:00.750 --> 00:51:03.809 So anyhow. But anyway. Yeah. All right. We're 00:51:03.809 --> 00:51:06.710 real late for the first break. No, no, no, no 00:51:06.710 --> 00:51:10.210 big, you know, shock there. So anyhow, I just 00:51:10.210 --> 00:51:12.989 want to get on a different tempo now. I think, 00:51:13.150 --> 00:51:16.230 yeah, I think it was fitting that they named 00:51:16.230 --> 00:51:19.110 that bridge. Because like they, like they said, 00:51:19.309 --> 00:51:24.469 she, Osage Beach goes on both sides and she patrol 00:51:24.469 --> 00:51:28.190 both. That was her community. That's, that was 00:51:28.190 --> 00:51:32.110 her life. Thank you to everyone involved in that. 00:51:32.570 --> 00:51:35.670 Thank you to everyone involved. All right, let's 00:51:35.670 --> 00:51:37.530 take our first break, and we've got some emails, 00:51:37.690 --> 00:51:42.519 Rob. Yeah, we are going to go. We are, but that's 00:51:42.519 --> 00:51:44.099 all right. We got some pretty good emails again. 00:51:44.460 --> 00:51:47.500 My theory is this right here. During the wintertime 00:51:47.500 --> 00:51:49.719 when it's cold, people have nothing else to do. 00:51:49.940 --> 00:51:51.880 During the summertime, you don't get nearly as 00:51:51.880 --> 00:51:54.219 many emails. I remember us scratching for anything 00:51:54.219 --> 00:51:56.460 during the summer going, gosh, man, these emails 00:51:56.460 --> 00:51:58.960 are thin. Now we're getting all kinds of them, 00:51:58.960 --> 00:52:00.380 and I've got to sort through a bunch of them 00:52:00.380 --> 00:52:04.119 just to edit them enough to where we're not taking 00:52:04.119 --> 00:52:06.619 up three hours doing the emails. So thank you, 00:52:06.619 --> 00:52:08.760 everybody, for the emails. Also, we're doing 00:52:08.760 --> 00:52:11.579 a little more too. Well, you know what? Yeah. 00:52:11.679 --> 00:52:13.659 I mean, over a million downloads. And I think 00:52:13.659 --> 00:52:15.519 Topher has figured out a way to capture that 00:52:15.519 --> 00:52:19.659 so we can show it to people. Yes. We want to 00:52:19.659 --> 00:52:22.579 show you that we're not bullshitting. We're not 00:52:22.579 --> 00:52:25.199 lying. That we have over a million downloads. 00:52:25.500 --> 00:52:27.960 Well over a million now. And we're very proud 00:52:27.960 --> 00:52:31.400 of that for a small podcast that happens in two 00:52:31.400 --> 00:52:35.139 small home studios that are about two and a half 00:52:35.139 --> 00:52:39.329 hours away with no advertisements. Very proud 00:52:39.329 --> 00:52:47.510 of it. So we will be right back. Hey, peeps, 00:52:47.510 --> 00:52:51.030 it's time for the police blotter. That's right. 00:52:51.110 --> 00:52:55.070 Stories about stupid criminals and the dumb assness 00:52:55.070 --> 00:53:02.349 that ensued. Let us begin now. An Ohio man was 00:53:02.349 --> 00:53:05.269 arrested after authorities said he mistakenly 00:53:05.269 --> 00:53:07.949 sent a baggie of crystal meth. through a tube 00:53:07.949 --> 00:53:12.130 at a bank drive -thru last week. Jason G. Smith, 00:53:12.349 --> 00:53:17.130 46, was cuffed on December 3. After a swift investigation 00:53:17.130 --> 00:53:20.809 in to an unexpected deposit, he made at the bank 00:53:20.809 --> 00:53:23.929 in Woodsfield, Ohio, according to a press release 00:53:23.929 --> 00:53:27.610 from Monroe County Sheriff's Office. Smith drove 00:53:27.610 --> 00:53:30.369 away from the bank without realizing his mistake. 00:53:30.769 --> 00:53:34.070 An employee reported the baggie he left. He was 00:53:34.070 --> 00:53:38.079 picked up on a drug charge soon after. Next up, 00:53:38.159 --> 00:53:44.179 things overheard in hell. Man, Axl Rose is such 00:53:44.179 --> 00:53:48.800 a great childhood therapist. I hope he writes 00:53:48.800 --> 00:53:53.139 more books. People often ask, how do we cram 00:53:53.139 --> 00:53:56.079 so much money into one little show? Well, it's 00:53:56.079 --> 00:53:59.079 simple. We buy funny in bulk on the internet. 00:53:59.860 --> 00:54:02.539 Hey, Mark, you're wanted at the front door. There's 00:54:02.539 --> 00:54:04.659 a big bag of funny they need you to sign for. 00:54:05.739 --> 00:54:07.940 Okay, thanks a lot. I'll be right there. I'm 00:54:07.940 --> 00:54:09.900 still sorting out the funny we got from yesterday. 00:54:10.559 --> 00:54:13.059 There's your answer. We buy funny in bulk on 00:54:13.059 --> 00:54:16.300 the internet. Hey, you yankers. We often think 00:54:16.300 --> 00:54:18.460 many things are just true because we've heard 00:54:18.460 --> 00:54:21.400 it our whole lives. That's why here at Two Douchebags 00:54:21.400 --> 00:54:23.679 and Microphone, we developed the segment, Not 00:54:23.679 --> 00:54:27.559 True. We investigate and uncover the real truth 00:54:27.559 --> 00:54:31.699 of what happened. We've heard for years that 00:54:31.699 --> 00:54:34.280 Einstein was so intelligent he could not figure 00:54:34.280 --> 00:54:38.539 out how to tie his shoe. The fact is, he disliked 00:54:38.539 --> 00:54:41.860 wearing socks. He would put socks over his shoes 00:54:41.860 --> 00:54:44.780 to avoid tying them. He believed tying shoelaces 00:54:44.780 --> 00:54:48.880 was an incredible waste of time. So were Crocs 00:54:48.880 --> 00:54:51.559 when Einstein needed them. I just applied for 00:54:51.559 --> 00:54:54.420 a job down at the diner. I told him I really 00:54:54.420 --> 00:55:08.159 bring a lot to the table. Hello, this is Phineas 00:55:08.159 --> 00:55:12.139 J. Altaris III. I'm here to deliver your music 00:55:12.139 --> 00:55:19.280 news this evening. We have some sad news for 00:55:19.280 --> 00:55:23.159 everybody. Bob Weir, the co -founder and guitarist 00:55:23.159 --> 00:55:26.179 for The Grateful Dead, has passed away at the 00:55:26.179 --> 00:55:32.860 age of 78. Bob, we hope you're grateful, because 00:55:32.860 --> 00:55:36.519 you're definitely dead. Rest in peace, Mr. Weir. 00:55:37.400 --> 00:55:42.679 This is Phineas J. Baltar S. III. That has been 00:55:42.679 --> 00:55:45.679 your music news for this evening. I have one 00:55:45.679 --> 00:55:48.679 burning question for you all. Do people really 00:55:48.679 --> 00:55:53.900 skip around the Maypole? Hey, dickhead. No one 00:55:53.900 --> 00:55:55.940 gives an ounce of shit what you had for breakfast. 00:55:56.159 --> 00:55:58.800 Not even the person on the other end. You look 00:55:58.800 --> 00:56:01.380 like a mentally slow driv yelling into thin air 00:56:01.380 --> 00:56:03.489 all through the store. I pray that Bluetooth 00:56:03.489 --> 00:56:06.489 shorts out and blows up your eardrums. What men 00:56:06.489 --> 00:56:09.269 consider self -centered dunce. Mommy constantly 00:56:09.269 --> 00:56:12.050 coddled this dummy and it fucking shows. Go look 00:56:12.050 --> 00:56:14.449 back home and bore your dog. Wait, you probably 00:56:14.449 --> 00:56:16.489 forgot the theming because you're too busy looking 00:56:16.489 --> 00:56:22.170 in the mirror all day. Fuck off. This is Joshua 00:56:22.170 --> 00:56:24.449 Belmont, your food for thought man on The Hustle. 00:56:24.929 --> 00:56:27.289 So I just realized a genius that gets absolutely 00:56:27.289 --> 00:56:30.719 no credit. His name is Marshall Taylor. He's 00:56:30.719 --> 00:56:32.800 credited with the first bag of salad mix that 00:56:32.800 --> 00:56:35.960 was bagged and sold. Yesterday was his birthday. 00:56:36.840 --> 00:56:39.900 I believe he is still alive. This guy's genius 00:56:39.900 --> 00:56:42.659 will never be fully appreciated. Before this 00:56:42.659 --> 00:56:45.159 man, we settled for iceberg lettuce with maybe 00:56:45.159 --> 00:56:48.099 a couple of croutons and some cheese. Was Mr. 00:56:48.280 --> 00:56:51.519 Taylor satisfied with that? Hell no. He realized 00:56:51.519 --> 00:56:53.679 that Billy Americana would never go out and buy 00:56:53.679 --> 00:56:56.019 a couple of radishes, a couple of carrots, a 00:56:56.019 --> 00:56:58.380 head of purple cabbage, maybe snow peas, and 00:56:58.380 --> 00:57:00.659 possibly some cute romaine bladders for extra 00:57:00.659 --> 00:57:04.260 bougie. Mr. Taylor, you should have a national 00:57:04.260 --> 00:57:07.719 holiday. Have you ever wondered what something 00:57:07.719 --> 00:57:10.139 is about? Have you ever looked at something and 00:57:10.139 --> 00:57:12.440 said, hey, I wonder what the origin of that is? 00:57:13.059 --> 00:57:16.699 Well, so have we. That's why we give you The 00:57:16.699 --> 00:57:22.730 Origin Of. The origin of the goatee. The goatee 00:57:22.730 --> 00:57:24.829 is a beard style that dates back to ancient Greece 00:57:24.829 --> 00:57:27.849 and Rome, and is named for its resemblance to 00:57:27.849 --> 00:57:31.250 a goat's beard. The goatee has been worn by many 00:57:31.250 --> 00:57:33.309 famous men throughout history, including Uncle 00:57:33.309 --> 00:57:37.369 Sam, Henry M. Hoyt, and Mr. Spock. The gobham 00:57:37.369 --> 00:57:39.989 was often depicted with a goatee, and in medieval 00:57:39.989 --> 00:57:42.449 and renaissance art, Satan was depicted with 00:57:42.449 --> 00:57:45.710 a goatee as well. The goatee became popular again 00:57:45.710 --> 00:57:49.360 in the 1940s. as the defining trait of the beatniks 00:57:49.360 --> 00:57:52.059 and jazz musicians. It fell out of favor again 00:57:52.059 --> 00:57:54.840 in the 1960s, but became fashionable again in 00:57:54.840 --> 00:57:58.280 the 1990s and 2000s. The term goatee originated 00:57:58.280 --> 00:58:01.480 in the late 20th century. It was originally called 00:58:01.480 --> 00:58:06.480 a goatee. City area at the Talk is Cheap studio. 00:58:09.679 --> 00:58:16.679 And I am Rob in Wheatland, Missouri. home of 00:58:16.679 --> 00:58:19.980 the magnificent Lucas Oil Speedway and water 00:58:19.980 --> 00:58:23.539 track, and also home of Hickam Oak Country Store, 00:58:23.719 --> 00:58:27.099 where you can find all your needs, including 00:58:27.099 --> 00:58:31.260 a selfie with the Sinclair dinosaur in the Doug 00:58:31.260 --> 00:58:36.639 Black studio. Thank you, Rob. I need a drink 00:58:36.639 --> 00:58:41.659 after that. You know, that's why I went ahead 00:58:41.659 --> 00:58:44.599 and dropped all near the banks of the... beautiful 00:58:44.599 --> 00:58:47.260 Blue River and the Missouri and all that stuff. 00:58:47.940 --> 00:58:50.599 Yeah, but you're loving me doing it. I know, 00:58:50.679 --> 00:58:54.059 you're doing it also. I love doing it. So I'm 00:58:54.059 --> 00:58:56.000 just going, hey, I'm Mark here talking to Cheap 00:58:56.000 --> 00:59:01.139 Studio. Hey, I've got to make Wheatlands like 00:59:01.139 --> 00:59:06.659 it. What is it, 377? Not that big. I'll get it 00:59:06.659 --> 00:59:11.059 off the population sign. Okay, that sounds good. 00:59:11.940 --> 00:59:16.159 This town's got to have some. These are things 00:59:16.159 --> 00:59:19.800 that are here, including our beat bar. And Hickamos. 00:59:21.400 --> 00:59:24.699 Definitely Hickamos. Yeah, and of course the 00:59:24.699 --> 00:59:29.039 Speedway. Alright, we got some emails. Hey guys, 00:59:29.239 --> 00:59:31.480 was just wanting to touch base with you all. 00:59:31.539 --> 00:59:35.300 You know that we are still listening in Springfield, 00:59:35.360 --> 00:59:39.559 Missouri at All Star Body Shop on Sunshine Expressway. 00:59:40.360 --> 00:59:42.739 Are you, Topher, and Rob ever going to do another 00:59:42.739 --> 00:59:45.739 show together, Richard and Springfield? Now, 00:59:45.739 --> 00:59:48.039 they've been around a long time, if you remember. 00:59:49.760 --> 00:59:53.840 This is the body shop in Springfield. Yeah, they 00:59:53.840 --> 00:59:56.480 have that. And what they're referring to, I'm 00:59:56.480 --> 01:00:00.300 pretty sure, is when you used to call in. Yeah. 01:00:00.639 --> 01:00:03.280 Okay. Yeah, we'll do another one. We just got 01:00:03.280 --> 01:00:06.369 to all line up. Yeah, I would love that. I think 01:00:06.369 --> 01:00:08.130 that would be a great podcast right there. And 01:00:08.130 --> 01:00:10.230 it'll happen. We just don't know when. We've 01:00:10.230 --> 01:00:12.829 got to get it to where we can all line up. And 01:00:12.829 --> 01:00:14.909 when we do, I have nothing against that. Do you? 01:00:16.210 --> 01:00:20.050 No, I don't. And by the way, guys, for everybody 01:00:20.050 --> 01:00:24.489 in Springfield, I have cousins that work at Merrill's 01:00:24.489 --> 01:00:28.409 Steel Company there in Springfield. Okay. All 01:00:28.409 --> 01:00:33.130 right. Actually, one of my cousins, they built 01:00:33.130 --> 01:00:38.710 Mr. The roller coaster, Six Flags. Oh, wow. No 01:00:38.710 --> 01:00:43.250 kidding. And it wasn't Merrill's. Yeah, it wasn't 01:00:43.250 --> 01:00:46.210 Merrill's the name now. It wasn't Merrill's at 01:00:46.210 --> 01:00:49.789 the time. I think it was Acme. Mm -hmm. But one 01:00:49.789 --> 01:00:53.909 of my cousins actually did some welding on Mr. 01:00:54.050 --> 01:00:59.909 Breeze in the shop. Oh, wow. Yeah, so. Okay. 01:01:00.110 --> 01:01:02.449 Yeah, and that's a big company down there, so. 01:01:02.730 --> 01:01:06.690 Oh, that's cool. Yeah, I'm right here in Wheatland, 01:01:06.750 --> 01:01:10.309 guys. I'm closer to you now. There you go. Only 01:01:10.309 --> 01:01:14.869 an hour away. Oh, this next one. I forgot about 01:01:14.869 --> 01:01:18.530 this. Okay. Mark, remember when you took that 01:01:18.530 --> 01:01:22.269 Pepsi out of our unnamed friend's home and doctored 01:01:22.269 --> 01:01:26.090 it up with tobacco spit and red pepper? You drilled 01:01:26.090 --> 01:01:28.929 a hole in the bottom. It took us three hours 01:01:28.929 --> 01:01:32.449 to fill it with that nasty concoction. his mom 01:01:32.449 --> 01:01:35.670 drank a swig of it or so later uh this is like 01:01:35.670 --> 01:01:38.110 a week later we put the pepsi back in the fridge 01:01:38.110 --> 01:01:41.510 and hid it in the back and uh why does that sound 01:01:41.510 --> 01:01:45.670 familiar yeah and i think you know who i think 01:01:45.670 --> 01:01:49.590 i know hang on hang on let me let me pause this 01:01:49.590 --> 01:01:54.349 okay okay so now you know uh who it is but i 01:01:54.349 --> 01:02:00.150 think was there yeah yeah we put tobacco spit 01:02:00.150 --> 01:02:02.630 and red pepper in it and i drilled a hole in 01:02:02.630 --> 01:02:04.730 the bottom and like i said it took us three like 01:02:04.730 --> 01:02:12.030 this guy said um well it's mitch so anyhow well 01:02:12.030 --> 01:02:16.610 he's actually yes yes instead of being mad at 01:02:16.610 --> 01:02:20.449 me over that one incident i think he's starting 01:02:20.449 --> 01:02:26.840 to make peace with it so anyhow I mean, I don't 01:02:26.840 --> 01:02:28.900 think he ever was that mad at me. I think he's 01:02:28.900 --> 01:02:32.219 just screwing with me. If you really hated me, 01:02:32.280 --> 01:02:33.500 you wouldn't have had anything to do with the 01:02:33.500 --> 01:02:37.019 podcast. So, anyhow. So, it took us three hours. 01:02:37.079 --> 01:02:38.500 We didn't think we were going to get it done, 01:02:38.579 --> 01:02:40.760 but it took forever to make that thing feel like 01:02:40.760 --> 01:02:43.480 it was full. And it's hard. Whenever you drill 01:02:43.480 --> 01:02:45.380 a hole, you can't have too big of a hole in the 01:02:45.380 --> 01:02:47.599 bottom of the can. They'll notice. And then we 01:02:47.599 --> 01:02:50.659 filled it with hot glue to where it would seal. 01:02:51.460 --> 01:02:54.800 And so, we were all over there sitting down, 01:02:54.980 --> 01:02:57.820 if I remember correctly, watching TV where a 01:02:57.820 --> 01:02:59.679 board is like a, I don't know, like a Tuesday 01:02:59.679 --> 01:03:02.019 night or something. shit and you know we're all 01:03:02.019 --> 01:03:03.679 just sitting there bullshit and you know some 01:03:03.679 --> 01:03:05.440 people are getting stoned some people are having 01:03:05.440 --> 01:03:07.139 a beer you know because that was like a party 01:03:07.139 --> 01:03:10.360 house there and it was it was in belvedere at 01:03:10.360 --> 01:03:13.179 the time that's where they lived and so his mom 01:03:13.179 --> 01:03:15.260 got up to get a pepsi she goes i'm thirsty i'm 01:03:15.260 --> 01:03:17.300 gonna get pepsi anybody want one and nobody else 01:03:17.300 --> 01:03:20.079 wanted one and she goes over there and she sits 01:03:20.079 --> 01:03:23.179 down with her pepsi she opens it up and i distinctly 01:03:23.179 --> 01:03:26.599 did not hear any fizz i'm like huh that's weird 01:03:26.599 --> 01:03:31.820 oh shit oh shit Oh, shit. I didn't plan on her 01:03:31.820 --> 01:03:35.400 getting it. I planned on her son getting it. 01:03:36.360 --> 01:03:40.260 And if you remember correctly, she had some type 01:03:40.260 --> 01:03:46.260 of epilepsy. Yeah. Yeah. And she drank this and 01:03:46.260 --> 01:03:49.619 took a big swig of it and vomited all over the 01:03:49.619 --> 01:03:52.619 floor and started shaking. I thought that we 01:03:52.619 --> 01:03:57.429 put her in an epilepsy. yeah we're all going 01:03:57.429 --> 01:03:59.590 oh my god what we do we killed her we killed 01:03:59.590 --> 01:04:02.010 her so we call an ambulance over there but all 01:04:02.010 --> 01:04:09.949 she was was just really shook up oh that's right 01:04:09.949 --> 01:04:12.389 we all kind of looked at each other like oh shit 01:04:12.389 --> 01:04:14.989 not now we weren't supposed to be here and it 01:04:14.989 --> 01:04:20.590 wasn't supposed to be her But the ambulance came 01:04:20.590 --> 01:04:24.289 over and she got up and she was so mad. She wanted 01:04:24.289 --> 01:04:26.510 to kill somebody. And we're all like, who would 01:04:26.510 --> 01:04:29.190 do that? And we're all like looking at each other 01:04:29.190 --> 01:04:32.269 like, don't fucking say a word. She will fucking 01:04:32.269 --> 01:04:35.329 kill us. You know, I mean, she was mad mad, which 01:04:35.329 --> 01:04:37.909 I don't blame her. I would have been too. But 01:04:37.909 --> 01:04:41.949 she was not in an epileptic seizure like we thought. 01:04:42.190 --> 01:04:47.239 Thank God. um so anyhow we we didn't know supposedly 01:04:47.239 --> 01:04:49.820 didn't know who did it we're gonna go uh look 01:04:49.820 --> 01:04:53.619 for the real the real criminal or the real trickster 01:04:53.619 --> 01:04:57.960 or whatever and of course we never found them 01:04:57.960 --> 01:04:59.940 because we knew they were and we didn't want 01:04:59.940 --> 01:05:03.670 them to know So, yeah, they called an ambulance, 01:05:03.710 --> 01:05:05.789 like Mitch said here, if I remember correctly. 01:05:05.889 --> 01:05:07.989 Yeah, they did, but they didn't take her, and 01:05:07.989 --> 01:05:11.849 she was okay. Just shook up, which understandably 01:05:11.849 --> 01:05:15.250 so. And anyhow, he signed this Mitch in Wheatland, 01:05:15.369 --> 01:05:20.210 Missouri. I don't think he's there. I think he's 01:05:20.210 --> 01:05:23.550 just clowning, but I don't know with Mitch. He's 01:05:23.550 --> 01:05:25.349 supposed to be moving to where? North Dakota 01:05:25.349 --> 01:05:28.449 or something, or Wyoming, or I don't know. I 01:05:28.449 --> 01:05:33.679 think it's North Dakota, possibly. If you come 01:05:33.679 --> 01:05:36.780 to Wheatland, look me up, dude. Come on, Mitchell. 01:05:36.940 --> 01:05:40.639 We love you. I'll take you to the crappie hole 01:05:40.639 --> 01:05:45.360 for dinner. Is that a place? No, actually, no. 01:05:45.800 --> 01:05:49.280 It's over in Carson's Corner, outside Hermitage. 01:05:50.460 --> 01:05:54.239 Yeah, where all the stuff went down. No, it's 01:05:54.239 --> 01:05:58.460 a great restaurant, bar. Yeah, they got great 01:05:58.460 --> 01:06:03.179 food. Cool. There you go, Mitch. Take advantage 01:06:03.179 --> 01:06:05.800 of it. If you come down, I'll take you to Crappie 01:06:05.800 --> 01:06:09.519 Hole. And if you don't feel like driving back, 01:06:09.699 --> 01:06:14.800 there's a nice little hotel right around the 01:06:14.800 --> 01:06:20.059 corner I'll hook you up with. Yeah. There you 01:06:20.059 --> 01:06:24.980 go, Mitch. There you go. All right. Thanks for 01:06:24.980 --> 01:06:27.119 writing, Mitch. And, yeah, I do remember that. 01:06:27.159 --> 01:06:28.920 And, yeah, Rob remembers that. And, yeah, it 01:06:28.920 --> 01:06:31.489 was funny. But it was very tense at the time. 01:06:32.750 --> 01:06:35.750 It was funny, but it was kind of scary at the 01:06:35.750 --> 01:06:40.750 same time. Very scary. Especially when you think 01:06:40.750 --> 01:06:43.829 you killed somebody's mom accidentally. Yeah. 01:06:44.289 --> 01:06:49.789 Especially that person. Yes. Yes. All right. 01:06:50.250 --> 01:06:53.809 Mark, your favorite meal of all time. Rob, your 01:06:53.809 --> 01:06:57.190 favorite meal of all time. Ross in Texas. Thank 01:06:57.190 --> 01:07:04.469 you, Ross. Go ahead, Rob. I'm mulling this. Okay, 01:07:04.550 --> 01:07:11.690 mine has got to be my birthday dinner. Okay. 01:07:31.440 --> 01:07:34.420 That's a great meal. Either way, on the cob, 01:07:34.599 --> 01:07:37.420 off the cob, don't matter. Whatever. All right, 01:07:37.440 --> 01:07:40.679 I like it on the cob. And then you can use it 01:07:40.679 --> 01:07:45.420 to wipe with afterwards. That's my birthday meal. 01:07:45.679 --> 01:07:48.719 It's once a year. Okay. Of course, it's my favorite. 01:07:49.159 --> 01:07:51.579 Mine, I'm going to have to say, is a really good 01:07:51.579 --> 01:07:54.699 lemony chicken parm from someone that knows how 01:07:54.699 --> 01:07:58.920 to make it right. A linguine pasta. on a bed 01:07:58.920 --> 01:08:03.119 of linguine pasta, on oil, olive oil, and butter, 01:08:03.219 --> 01:08:11.179 and maybe some broccoli florets, and a nice, 01:08:11.179 --> 01:08:16.439 really good garden salad with a homemade Italian 01:08:16.439 --> 01:08:19.859 dressing on it, like Garozzo's makes, or Anthony's, 01:08:19.859 --> 01:08:22.020 or one of the places in town. Love them both, 01:08:22.119 --> 01:08:27.640 Cascone's even. Yeah, so. I'm going to, that's 01:08:27.640 --> 01:08:29.500 what I'm going with, a really good chicken parm. 01:08:30.920 --> 01:08:33.000 There's a lot of places that do a really good 01:08:33.000 --> 01:08:34.859 chicken parm. And there's ones that are head 01:08:34.859 --> 01:08:39.640 and tails above everybody. Anthony's and Ermilio's 01:08:39.640 --> 01:08:43.979 in Eureka Springs does really good chicken parm. 01:08:44.460 --> 01:08:47.619 Garozo's does. So, yeah. But there's a certain 01:08:47.619 --> 01:08:49.819 way they make it with a lemony sauce. It's just 01:08:49.819 --> 01:08:52.119 so good. And you can't find it everywhere. And 01:08:52.119 --> 01:08:55.479 not a lot of places do it over linguine. with 01:08:55.479 --> 01:08:57.920 the olive oil and the butter. So, all right. 01:08:57.939 --> 01:09:01.699 Thank you, Rob. And thank you, Ross. Thanks for 01:09:01.699 --> 01:09:03.819 writing in again. We love you. Keep them coming. 01:09:03.840 --> 01:09:07.979 Yes, thank you, Ross. Mark, I sent you a sound 01:09:07.979 --> 01:09:11.859 file attached to the email. I have some special 01:09:11.859 --> 01:09:14.560 effects sounds I think you can use on your show. 01:09:14.739 --> 01:09:17.979 I listen every time you drop a new show. Wendell. 01:09:18.510 --> 01:09:21.890 in north carolina uh yeah wendell those are cool 01:09:21.890 --> 01:09:24.750 i like the really uh the really spooky one that 01:09:24.750 --> 01:09:28.590 you sent with the synth uh the synthesizers that 01:09:28.590 --> 01:09:32.270 are kind of airish go away and come back um that 01:09:32.270 --> 01:09:34.189 particular i think it's track number three that 01:09:34.189 --> 01:09:36.510 you sent me i love it and i'm going to use all 01:09:36.510 --> 01:09:39.710 of them but the number three was just phenomenal 01:09:39.710 --> 01:09:42.609 whatever you did on that it was perfect for what 01:09:42.609 --> 01:09:45.670 i like thank you uh wendell in north carolina 01:09:47.599 --> 01:09:53.539 Actually, I have a niece in North Carolina. Okay. 01:09:53.939 --> 01:09:58.619 I'm looking her up on Facebook. It doesn't say 01:09:58.619 --> 01:10:07.060 where. Spartanburg. Spartanburg. Okay. Yeah. 01:10:07.260 --> 01:10:12.579 Very cool. Well, actually, Chesney. Her kids 01:10:12.579 --> 01:10:16.279 go to Chesney Elementary. Well, one of her kids. 01:10:19.000 --> 01:10:25.979 Okay. Yeah. Okay. All right. Thank you. All right. 01:10:26.020 --> 01:10:28.439 Next one. You guys have the worst podcast I've 01:10:28.439 --> 01:10:30.720 ever listened to. Cassie in Burlington, Vermont. 01:10:31.640 --> 01:10:35.819 So? And why bother email us? We go over this 01:10:35.819 --> 01:10:39.180 all the time. Yeah. But I include some of them 01:10:39.180 --> 01:10:42.140 because I always state we love hate emails. If 01:10:42.140 --> 01:10:44.680 you hate us that bad, too. They go to the front. 01:10:45.000 --> 01:10:48.109 Yeah. Yep, so Cassie, thank you. We're glad you 01:10:48.109 --> 01:10:52.909 hate us. All right, sports question alert. What 01:10:52.909 --> 01:10:55.289 do you all think about the Steelers hiring Mike 01:10:55.289 --> 01:10:58.890 McCarthy? As a lifelong Steeler fan, I'm not 01:10:58.890 --> 01:11:05.029 happy. Tommy in Pittsburgh. Actually, we did 01:11:05.029 --> 01:11:08.970 this on the sports bastards today. Their records 01:11:08.970 --> 01:11:14.930 are remarkably similar. Wins, losses. Super Bowl 01:11:14.930 --> 01:11:18.609 wins, playoff wins. They are so close that, I 01:11:18.609 --> 01:11:20.250 mean, you're essentially pretty much getting 01:11:20.250 --> 01:11:24.850 the same head coach. Look it up if you don't 01:11:24.850 --> 01:11:27.829 believe me, Tommy. Although I could see where 01:11:27.829 --> 01:11:30.909 they would have problems with you. Yeah, I do 01:11:30.909 --> 01:11:35.369 too. But, you know, I could see that. Yep. No, 01:11:35.489 --> 01:11:38.869 I agree. I agree with you. I have not, yeah. 01:11:39.149 --> 01:11:41.890 You haven't even put some questions out yet. 01:11:42.550 --> 01:11:45.539 Yeah. No, I haven't. I haven't had a chance to 01:11:45.539 --> 01:11:47.880 listen, but, you know, I agree with you. Yeah, 01:11:47.899 --> 01:11:50.380 it's on the one that I'm going to be posting. 01:11:50.380 --> 01:11:53.960 The records are pretty much the same, so what 01:11:53.960 --> 01:11:59.619 are you losing? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Give him a 01:11:59.619 --> 01:12:02.460 chance. Give him a chance. The word is, we went 01:12:02.460 --> 01:12:04.319 into it a little bit today, Aaron Rodgers is 01:12:04.319 --> 01:12:07.640 going to play another year because he loves working 01:12:07.640 --> 01:12:10.939 with Mike McCarthy. They won a Super Bowl in 01:12:10.939 --> 01:12:16.470 Green Bay. Right. So, yeah. So, that's probably 01:12:16.470 --> 01:12:22.390 another thing, too. Yeah. So, anyhow, I'm good 01:12:22.390 --> 01:12:25.010 with it. Whatever. Tommy, I hope you guys do 01:12:25.010 --> 01:12:28.270 well. Mark, do you fart and blame it on your 01:12:28.270 --> 01:12:31.270 dog, Terry Donalds in Shreveport? Yes, of course. 01:12:31.369 --> 01:12:34.989 Everybody does. Who don't? You know, and actually, 01:12:35.029 --> 01:12:37.189 it's kind of reversed on me. My dog farts all 01:12:37.189 --> 01:12:41.850 over me, and I get the blame. Yeah. You ever 01:12:41.850 --> 01:12:53.319 have that happen? Okay, that's cool. Yeah, no, 01:12:53.420 --> 01:12:56.960 I've gotten the blame before. We have three dogs 01:12:56.960 --> 01:13:01.659 that fed with us at night, so yeah. Okay. I get 01:13:01.659 --> 01:13:07.600 away with anything I want. Damn dog. And like 01:13:07.600 --> 01:13:10.260 I said, it reverses sometimes. I'll blame it 01:13:10.260 --> 01:13:12.060 on the dog, yeah, and get away with it because 01:13:12.060 --> 01:13:14.640 they can't go, hey, asshole, I didn't do that. 01:13:14.699 --> 01:13:18.460 You did. But also, They'll fart, and it will 01:13:18.460 --> 01:13:21.199 look like I did it. It smells so bad. Right, 01:13:21.220 --> 01:13:25.920 exactly. They know how to pay us back. Yes, they 01:13:25.920 --> 01:13:29.220 do, and they've got me back numerous times. Okay, 01:13:29.359 --> 01:13:33.039 Mark, do you plan on doing a show from inside 01:13:33.039 --> 01:13:37.520 the Crescent in a room? I hope so. Jennifer Helene, 01:13:37.640 --> 01:13:42.119 Texas. Yes, I do plan on doing that, but it's 01:13:42.119 --> 01:13:45.260 not going to be anytime soon. Probably later 01:13:45.260 --> 01:13:48.220 in the year. And it'll definitely be in the summer 01:13:48.220 --> 01:13:52.100 because I want to not only do it in the room, 01:13:52.100 --> 01:13:53.699 but I also want to do it from one of the balcony 01:13:53.699 --> 01:13:58.420 rooms and see what I can capture and see what 01:13:58.420 --> 01:14:01.199 we can come up with. So, yeah, we did one from 01:14:01.199 --> 01:14:04.119 the outside. Didn't really get anything. So we 01:14:04.119 --> 01:14:07.119 want to go inside and try it. So, yes, we're 01:14:07.119 --> 01:14:09.560 definitely going to do that. Also, at the same 01:14:09.560 --> 01:14:13.140 time, let's off the air, let's you and me talk 01:14:13.140 --> 01:14:16.810 about the Alps. Oh, okay. Okay. Yeah, that'll 01:14:16.810 --> 01:14:20.810 work. Okay. We'll talk about that. Okay. Let's 01:14:20.810 --> 01:14:22.729 go ahead and take our second break really quick. 01:14:22.829 --> 01:14:24.210 Then we're going to come back with your stuff 01:14:24.210 --> 01:14:28.949 because I've got to correct something on what's 01:14:28.949 --> 01:14:32.189 going on with my computer here, okay? Yeah, we're 01:14:32.189 --> 01:14:34.930 getting kind of late. Yeah, we are. We'll be 01:14:34.930 --> 01:14:39.890 right back. We appreciate you taking the time 01:14:39.890 --> 01:14:43.659 to listen and share your opinion. Our podcast 01:14:43.659 --> 01:14:47.180 isn't meant to appeal to everyone, and that's 01:14:47.180 --> 01:14:51.060 okay. We focus on honest conversation, humor, 01:14:51.199 --> 01:14:53.960 and perspective, even when it's rough around 01:14:53.960 --> 01:14:57.819 the edges. Constructive criticism is always welcome, 01:14:57.939 --> 01:15:01.060 but dismissing something just because it isn't 01:15:01.060 --> 01:15:05.159 your style doesn't really reflect. It's value 01:15:05.159 --> 01:15:09.399 to the people who do enjoy it. We're proud of 01:15:09.399 --> 01:15:12.220 what we're building. And we'll keep refining 01:15:12.220 --> 01:15:16.579 it as we go. Hey everybody, this is Uncle Rob. 01:15:16.899 --> 01:15:21.560 I'm going to give you some tips for life. This 01:15:21.560 --> 01:15:26.020 is Uncle Rob's rules to dick pics. Rule number 01:15:26.020 --> 01:15:30.460 one. Type of a pic in someone else's name. So 01:15:30.460 --> 01:15:34.779 if you get busted, it's not yours. Rule number 01:15:34.779 --> 01:15:38.920 two. Shoot angles complementary to your length 01:15:38.920 --> 01:15:45.420 and girth. Rule number four, no propping of the 01:15:45.420 --> 01:15:52.579 leg. Absolutely no undercarriage. Very important. 01:15:54.279 --> 01:15:57.899 And now we look in on the adventures of the technical 01:15:57.899 --> 01:16:01.659 explanation guy. Why, excuse me, my dear chap. 01:16:01.739 --> 01:16:05.039 Could you please pass the sodium chloride? Do 01:16:05.039 --> 01:16:09.810 you mean the salt? Why, yes. Yes, I do. They 01:16:09.810 --> 01:16:13.390 just say the sultry dumb motherfucker. Hey, my 01:16:13.390 --> 01:16:16.050 fellow heavy breathers, this is Dash Riptide 01:16:16.050 --> 01:16:22.090 with your music news. Glenn Hughes, the legendary 01:16:22.090 --> 01:16:26.909 bassist, lead singer of many, many great bands, 01:16:27.130 --> 01:16:30.989 such as Deep Purple, Black Sabbath, Black Country 01:16:30.989 --> 01:16:34.970 Communion, California Breed, and so on and so 01:16:34.970 --> 01:16:38.409 on. He had a U .S. tour planned for this April. 01:16:38.989 --> 01:16:41.409 Glenn unfortunately had to cancel due to what's 01:16:41.409 --> 01:16:44.750 been described as a minor medical issue. I already 01:16:44.750 --> 01:16:46.930 had seats for legendary rocker Knuckleheads, 01:16:47.050 --> 01:16:50.250 but like most times, I try to see him, and it 01:16:50.250 --> 01:16:53.390 gets canceled. Glenn, I love you, but no more. 01:16:53.630 --> 01:16:57.229 Third time getting jerked is enough. We do wish 01:16:57.229 --> 01:16:59.430 you a full and speedy recovery, and hopefully 01:16:59.430 --> 01:17:02.369 a full and speedy recovery of my fucking money. 01:17:02.729 --> 01:17:07.710 Again, sorry, not sorry. This is Gash Riptide. 01:17:08.090 --> 01:17:11.229 And that was your music news. If it's too loud, 01:17:11.289 --> 01:17:21.869 you probably have ear damage, just like me. Strange, 01:17:22.550 --> 01:17:28.810 but true. In a remote area of the Amazon rainforest, 01:17:29.189 --> 01:17:32.369 a small parasitic catfish is reported to swim 01:17:32.369 --> 01:17:35.250 and keep the urethas of those who are mating 01:17:35.250 --> 01:17:38.199 in the Amazon River. Also called the vampire 01:17:38.199 --> 01:17:41.039 fish, it follows a urine stream, lodges itself 01:17:41.039 --> 01:17:44.000 in the agaritha, expands its fins to stay in 01:17:44.000 --> 01:17:46.500 place, and consumes tissue until hemorrhaging 01:17:46.500 --> 01:17:50.199 kills the host. The reports date back to the 01:17:50.199 --> 01:17:52.779 19th century. The first documented removal from 01:17:52.779 --> 01:17:58.140 the human occurred in 1997. Once again, it's 01:17:58.140 --> 01:18:06.279 time for Ramblings of a Madman. I believe. Congress 01:18:06.279 --> 01:18:10.380 needs to synchronize tap dance for 20 minutes 01:18:10.380 --> 01:18:17.840 before each session. That needs to happen. And 01:18:17.840 --> 01:18:26.460 now, Deep Thoughts with Mark. So, if I have a 01:18:26.460 --> 01:18:31.100 glass of ice water, and the ice melts into the 01:18:31.100 --> 01:18:38.420 water, is my water then watered down? I may never 01:18:38.420 --> 01:18:46.340 know. Our constant pursuit for a real knee slapper. 01:18:46.539 --> 01:18:50.899 It's strange insults from an alien. Real hilarity. 01:18:51.380 --> 01:18:56.939 You're as useful as a colon with us. Two douchebags 01:18:56.939 --> 01:18:59.800 and microphone. This is Mark here in the Kansas 01:18:59.800 --> 01:19:08.319 City area at the Talk is Cheap studio. And I 01:19:08.319 --> 01:19:13.520 am Rob in Wheeler, Missouri, home of the magnificent 01:19:13.520 --> 01:19:17.600 Lucas Oil Speedway and Water Track, and also 01:19:17.600 --> 01:19:21.180 home of Hickam Oak Country Store, where you can 01:19:21.180 --> 01:19:23.979 find all your needs, including a selfie with 01:19:23.979 --> 01:19:27.979 a green St. Clair dinosaur in the duck blotch. 01:19:28.500 --> 01:19:34.039 Awesome. All right, Rob, you got a bag of garbage, 01:19:34.300 --> 01:19:36.899 baby? No, you don't realize how much air it takes 01:19:36.899 --> 01:19:40.319 to get that out. No, I can hear you puffing on 01:19:40.319 --> 01:19:46.319 it. I mean, it's got to be. And I'm puffing on 01:19:46.319 --> 01:19:49.979 a cigarette. Hell yeah. Yep, there you go. You 01:19:49.979 --> 01:19:53.720 got to have it. All right, that works. Hey, I 01:19:53.720 --> 01:19:57.840 told you I'd be there. All right. Yep. Yes, it 01:19:57.840 --> 01:20:12.350 is time once again. Okay. News break. We got 01:20:12.350 --> 01:20:14.689 a news break. Okay. I don't know where this got 01:20:14.689 --> 01:20:19.630 in from, but this is urgent. Okay. Police break 01:20:19.630 --> 01:20:24.590 up. Loud party. Arrived to find man hosting big 01:20:24.590 --> 01:20:28.750 birthday celebration. Rescue chicken with 60 01:20:28.750 --> 01:20:36.590 guests. Please go on. No, seriously. No, this 01:20:36.590 --> 01:20:46.289 is just a... It actually shows a picture of a 01:20:46.289 --> 01:20:51.609 house in the subdivision. And they have portable 01:20:51.609 --> 01:20:56.449 canopies out in front with balloons. And there 01:20:56.449 --> 01:21:03.569 is tons of people in front. And on this canopy 01:21:03.569 --> 01:21:23.979 it says, This chicken must be pretty popular. 01:21:24.819 --> 01:21:29.079 You would not find this many people at a five 01:21:29.079 --> 01:21:33.479 -year -old human's birthday party. I'm telling 01:21:33.479 --> 01:21:37.699 you, it looks like a Fourth of July celebration. 01:21:38.460 --> 01:21:46.520 That's fucking funny. Cool. Look, I'm all for 01:21:46.520 --> 01:22:09.149 a chicken celebration. That's fine with me. Okay. 01:22:11.390 --> 01:22:16.649 Princess has me watching Facebook Reels. Okay. 01:22:18.210 --> 01:22:21.810 And right now, I will go into one of the guys 01:22:21.810 --> 01:22:24.489 I've been watching, which you can find him on 01:22:24.489 --> 01:22:29.130 Facebook. You can find him on YouTube. He is 01:22:29.130 --> 01:22:34.369 also a traveling comedian. Okay. No, go ahead. 01:22:34.489 --> 01:22:58.180 Okay. Okay. Grayson Magaia. Mm -hmm. Yeah, I 01:22:58.180 --> 01:23:01.180 think that's how you pronounce it. Okay. Well. 01:23:33.960 --> 01:23:41.039 And that's how he comes across. He gives advice 01:23:41.039 --> 01:23:45.760 on how to deal with feral women like his wife. 01:23:47.460 --> 01:23:50.359 It's funny as shit, dude, but I'll tell you what, 01:23:50.420 --> 01:23:54.039 he's on it. And like I said, he's a traveler 01:23:54.039 --> 01:23:57.159 for me. I would love to go see him. I'm going 01:23:57.159 --> 01:23:59.539 to find him. I'm going to go see him. Very cool. 01:24:08.909 --> 01:24:15.170 Sounds good. That came up with this. And these 01:24:15.170 --> 01:24:17.770 are, yeah, I mean, these are honest to goodness 01:24:17.770 --> 01:24:22.310 rules. There's no ha -ha's about this. This is 01:24:22.310 --> 01:24:28.170 true. Okay, that's pretty cool to hear. Marry 01:24:28.170 --> 01:24:34.949 your best friend, not your fantasy. Yep. Yep. 01:24:35.050 --> 01:24:37.409 I was lucky to have them both rolled up in one. 01:25:02.919 --> 01:25:06.600 Val's been saying this ever since I've been with 01:25:06.600 --> 01:25:08.720 Val she's been saying this whether it's me or 01:25:08.720 --> 01:25:11.399 somebody else she says I don't always have to 01:25:11.399 --> 01:25:14.420 be right it doesn't bother me and I love that 01:25:14.420 --> 01:25:18.119 it's true it's like okay yeah and Princess is 01:25:18.119 --> 01:25:21.319 the same way it sounds like they're quite a bit 01:25:21.319 --> 01:25:23.979 alike in a lot of ways when we talk I know I'm 01:25:23.979 --> 01:25:27.739 scared yeah yeah I know maybe we maybe we need 01:25:27.739 --> 01:25:31.260 to abort that and not do it no I'm joking no 01:25:31.260 --> 01:25:38.090 we gotta Yeah, we do. Okay. Next. Talk about 01:25:38.090 --> 01:25:40.670 the heart attacks before they become explosions. 01:25:42.229 --> 01:25:52.569 Yep. Oh, so true. So true. Okay. Next. Work with 01:25:52.569 --> 01:25:58.590 each other even after years. Yep. Keep that love 01:25:58.590 --> 01:26:01.449 alive, guys. Yeah. That's a great way to do it. 01:26:12.929 --> 01:26:17.010 Don't expect him to read your mind. Speak clearly. 01:26:20.409 --> 01:26:34.619 Princess is on me about that all the time. Well, 01:26:34.720 --> 01:26:37.039 guys tend to sometimes just keep it in themselves 01:26:37.039 --> 01:26:39.939 and just shut up and go, yeah, I could bring 01:26:39.939 --> 01:26:42.300 it up, but I don't want to cause a bunch of... 01:26:42.300 --> 01:26:45.539 It's best just to bring it up. Yeah, and they're 01:26:45.539 --> 01:26:47.420 right. It's best just to bring it up and get 01:26:47.420 --> 01:26:54.399 it over with. So, yeah. Next. Protect your marriage 01:26:54.399 --> 01:26:59.739 from outsiders, even family. Yes. Oh, my God. 01:27:00.100 --> 01:27:04.800 Especially family. Especially family. Especially. 01:27:05.020 --> 01:27:11.619 Yep. I agree. Next, grow individually and stay 01:27:11.619 --> 01:27:17.960 together. Yep. Yep. You've got to grow individually, 01:27:18.420 --> 01:27:20.939 but you've got to stay together. You've got to 01:27:20.939 --> 01:27:25.180 do your own thing within the compound of your 01:27:25.180 --> 01:27:31.479 thing, of both of your things. Oh, go ahead. 01:27:33.990 --> 01:27:37.810 Okay. It is a definite give and take, but you 01:27:37.810 --> 01:27:41.130 have to kind of learn the boundaries of the system 01:27:41.130 --> 01:27:43.409 before you can get it to going right. But once 01:27:43.409 --> 01:27:45.229 you learn the boundaries, you're fine. It's like, 01:27:45.289 --> 01:27:47.609 all right, I don't want to do this because this 01:27:47.609 --> 01:27:50.130 will not be good. I do want to do this because 01:27:50.130 --> 01:27:51.970 this would be good. I mean, it's just something 01:27:51.970 --> 01:27:55.010 that you learn as you go along. And you work 01:27:55.010 --> 01:27:57.880 together on it. Yeah. Yeah. So if something's 01:27:57.880 --> 01:27:59.560 bothering you, like you're saying, just come 01:27:59.560 --> 01:28:02.460 out and say it and go, listen, I don't mean any 01:28:02.460 --> 01:28:04.840 offense at all, but this really bothers me. And 01:28:04.840 --> 01:28:06.560 I'm wondering if you could change it, please. 01:28:07.039 --> 01:28:09.520 And most people that are rational are like, okay, 01:28:09.659 --> 01:28:11.420 you know what? I didn't realize it bothered you 01:28:11.420 --> 01:28:14.800 that bad. I'm sorry. It's going to stop. You 01:28:14.800 --> 01:28:18.279 know, God has to have the talk to God. Hey, I 01:28:18.279 --> 01:28:21.420 think we need to do this. Yeah. And they say, 01:28:21.579 --> 01:28:25.960 uh, Yeah, and then you're like, ah. And that 01:28:25.960 --> 01:28:28.000 brings something to your, you know, something 01:28:28.000 --> 01:28:31.140 you didn't think about in your calculations, 01:28:31.460 --> 01:28:35.420 you know. True. Good point, Ray. I get it. I 01:28:35.420 --> 01:28:38.699 get it. And like I said, I have something I'm 01:28:38.699 --> 01:28:42.100 going to say because there's one more here. Okay. 01:28:42.760 --> 01:28:44.420 And then there's something I'm going to say. 01:28:44.779 --> 01:29:01.510 And lastly, love is not always a feeling. I think 01:29:01.510 --> 01:29:03.989 I know what it's saying, but I'm not for sure. 01:29:05.770 --> 01:29:13.289 Okay. Yeah. Okay. Yes. Love is a fear. Everybody 01:29:13.289 --> 01:29:18.010 knows that. Mm -hmm. But sometimes, if you love 01:29:18.010 --> 01:29:23.210 someone, you have to choose to stay to work things 01:29:23.210 --> 01:29:26.529 out. Oh, okay. That's the way I'm taking that. 01:29:26.760 --> 01:29:28.859 You know what? I think you're right, Rob. I really 01:29:28.859 --> 01:29:32.079 do. You can't let the little stuff bother you. 01:29:32.260 --> 01:29:34.880 You have to stay. You have to stick it out. You 01:29:34.880 --> 01:29:37.220 have to work on it. If I have little things that 01:29:37.220 --> 01:29:42.939 bother me, I can reflect on little things that 01:29:42.939 --> 01:29:47.199 I know bothers her. So it's a wash. We all have 01:29:47.199 --> 01:29:49.979 stuff that other people don't like. To me, one 01:29:49.979 --> 01:29:52.819 of my pet peeves is the Bluetooth idiot that 01:29:52.819 --> 01:29:55.460 goes around screaming in fucking midair. I even 01:29:55.460 --> 01:29:59.850 did a bit on it. And including everyone in what 01:29:59.850 --> 01:30:01.850 they fucking ate for dinner that you don't give 01:30:01.850 --> 01:30:04.590 one ounce of shit about. But you're subject to 01:30:04.590 --> 01:30:07.430 have to listen to it because they chose to have 01:30:07.430 --> 01:30:10.149 this conversation as loud as they can in front 01:30:10.149 --> 01:30:13.670 of everybody. I ask other people, like, oh, I 01:30:13.670 --> 01:30:16.489 don't care. It doesn't bother me. You know? So 01:30:16.489 --> 01:30:18.829 it's like that. Things that bother other people 01:30:18.829 --> 01:30:21.590 don't necessarily bother us all the time. You 01:30:21.590 --> 01:30:24.789 know? I mean, so. Right. Sometimes you've got 01:30:24.789 --> 01:30:27.449 to let things go. Yes, you've got to learn these 01:30:27.449 --> 01:30:31.550 things. I think that's all I'd say. And I agree 01:30:31.550 --> 01:30:34.989 with it. I think you're right. And with that 01:30:34.989 --> 01:30:39.829 being said, there is one thing. Okay, my parents, 01:30:40.090 --> 01:30:44.729 growing up, they always told me that marriage 01:30:44.729 --> 01:31:02.930 is 50 -50. Yes. 100%. I met Princess and we agreed 01:31:02.930 --> 01:31:07.750 to get married and we talked about it. And she 01:31:07.750 --> 01:31:11.609 changed my way of thinking on this, Mark. And 01:31:11.609 --> 01:31:14.689 I think it'll change your way of thinking on 01:31:14.689 --> 01:31:22.289 it too. Marriage is not 50 -50. Marriage is actually 01:31:22.289 --> 01:31:31.359 100 -100. Yes. You've got to be putting in 100%. 01:31:31.359 --> 01:31:36.340 And I get what she says. I get it, and I'll tell 01:31:36.340 --> 01:31:41.640 you what. We are doing great. I can tell by how 01:31:41.640 --> 01:31:46.859 you talk and the tone. To me, 50 -50 is a metaphor. 01:31:47.140 --> 01:31:51.039 And what they mean is you put in as much as the 01:31:51.039 --> 01:31:52.960 other person does. That's what they mean. But 01:31:52.960 --> 01:31:57.520 yeah, it is 100 -100. I also get what Francis 01:31:57.520 --> 01:32:06.399 is saying. Yeah, yeah, and I agree with that. 01:32:06.560 --> 01:32:11.979 Yeah. We are doing great by that. Uh -huh. So. 01:32:13.739 --> 01:32:18.039 Very cool. Well, I like that. Tonight's Rob's 01:32:18.039 --> 01:32:21.300 bag of garbage. Thank you, Rob. You know, that 01:32:21.300 --> 01:32:24.840 wasn't so much garbage. How about an article 01:32:24.840 --> 01:32:28.659 and then a Jeffy X list right behind it? Do you 01:32:28.659 --> 01:32:31.520 have time for that? Sounds good. Okay. All right. 01:32:31.739 --> 01:32:35.020 I don't know. Okay, and then after that, we'll 01:32:35.020 --> 01:32:38.600 call it good. All right. This person here that 01:32:38.600 --> 01:32:41.399 wrote this article, she said, I snort all of 01:32:41.399 --> 01:32:45.039 my food from omelets to steak. It feels phenomenal, 01:32:45.079 --> 01:32:48.220 even though I'm at risk of infections. You wouldn't 01:32:48.220 --> 01:32:51.380 believe it till you saw it. The Virginia millennial 01:32:51.380 --> 01:32:54.180 blends her food and snorts it through a straw. 01:32:54.779 --> 01:32:57.560 She showed off this freaky feeding frenzy on 01:32:57.560 --> 01:33:01.140 Wednesday's season seven of TLC's My Strange 01:33:01.140 --> 01:33:04.560 Addiction. She went on to say my relationship 01:33:04.560 --> 01:33:07.300 with food was very normal up until the point 01:33:07.300 --> 01:33:09.760 where I was in community college, Catherine explained. 01:33:10.119 --> 01:33:13.979 It started, honestly, with a dare to try snorting 01:33:13.979 --> 01:33:17.619 a flavored fruit drink, she continued. I got 01:33:17.619 --> 01:33:20.500 a head rush, but it was actually fruitier than 01:33:20.500 --> 01:33:23.560 if I was to have it through my mouth, and it 01:33:23.560 --> 01:33:25.699 was phenomenal. Since then, I've been having 01:33:25.699 --> 01:33:29.659 my entire diet nasally for about five years now. 01:33:30.409 --> 01:33:32.989 That means she's sniffing blended omelets with 01:33:32.989 --> 01:33:36.029 spinach and mushrooms, liquefied spinach and 01:33:36.029 --> 01:33:40.579 steak. coffee and even spicy guacamole katherine 01:33:40.579 --> 01:33:42.840 confessed that she has an aversion to the weird 01:33:42.840 --> 01:33:45.539 textures that come with food she claims that 01:33:45.539 --> 01:33:49.819 her curiosity her curious culinary conduct helps 01:33:49.819 --> 01:33:53.140 her avoid overeating and choking declaring that 01:33:53.140 --> 01:33:55.859 it really has no drawbacks unfortunately for 01:33:55.859 --> 01:33:59.859 katherine this putrid uh proclivity is off -putting 01:33:59.859 --> 01:34:02.359 to her friends family members and potential uh 01:34:02.359 --> 01:34:05.199 paramours and you know what i agree with that 01:34:05.199 --> 01:34:07.189 i could go in more with that but i'm gonna go 01:34:07.189 --> 01:34:10.050 into jeffy's last here in a minute but um okay 01:34:10.050 --> 01:34:13.250 yeah could you imagine in a restaurant and she 01:34:13.250 --> 01:34:15.170 wants her stuff blended and then she snorts it 01:34:15.170 --> 01:34:17.869 or you're just at home and she does that would 01:34:17.869 --> 01:34:23.010 that not be nasty yeah that would be weird yeah 01:34:23.010 --> 01:34:26.449 i would not i'd be like i'm sorry uh um what 01:34:26.449 --> 01:34:28.670 the hell was her name shit well you know what 01:34:28.670 --> 01:34:32.069 i don't even give a shit her oh catherine okay 01:34:32.069 --> 01:34:36.310 um i'd be i'd be like catherine I can't sit here 01:34:36.310 --> 01:34:39.149 and watch you do that, so we'll get back together 01:34:39.149 --> 01:34:42.829 after lunch. Yeah, I mean, yeah. Starting food, 01:34:43.289 --> 01:34:48.329 yeah. But now, watching our buddy Big Lee start 01:34:48.329 --> 01:34:52.850 comment one night, that was exciting. Yeah, yeah, 01:34:52.850 --> 01:34:55.729 yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, I forgot all about 01:34:55.729 --> 01:35:04.300 that. Yeah, that was it, my old apartment. Okay, 01:35:04.340 --> 01:35:06.880 yeah, and I wonder whatever happened to him. 01:35:06.920 --> 01:35:10.739 No last names. Oh, no, no, no. I still talk to 01:35:10.739 --> 01:35:12.819 him to this day, dude. You do? How's he doing? 01:35:13.979 --> 01:35:18.439 He's doing good. He's doing good. Good. He turned 01:35:18.439 --> 01:35:21.479 his life around. He's doing real good. He's still 01:35:21.479 --> 01:35:25.920 taking care of Mom. Oh, I didn't know he was. 01:35:26.039 --> 01:35:28.859 Yeah. Okay, good. Yeah, he's taking care of Mom. 01:35:34.720 --> 01:35:38.119 Yeah, yeah. Okay, that's good. Yeah, no, he's 01:35:38.119 --> 01:35:42.380 doing really good. They actually live between 01:35:42.380 --> 01:35:45.600 me and you. Oh, okay. That's all I'm going to 01:35:45.600 --> 01:35:49.500 say. Okay, yeah, I've always liked Lee. I've 01:35:49.500 --> 01:35:51.899 never been like best friends with him, but I've 01:35:51.899 --> 01:35:54.300 known him through other people for a long time, 01:35:54.319 --> 01:36:05.310 and I've always liked him. I never held anything 01:36:05.310 --> 01:36:07.949 against him because I was a culprit of a lot 01:36:07.949 --> 01:36:10.930 of bullshit, too. Yeah, well, no, I'm saying 01:36:10.930 --> 01:36:14.449 he's toast, so he don't do nothing. That's good 01:36:14.449 --> 01:36:17.930 to hear. I'm glad he's straightened out. He lost 01:36:17.930 --> 01:36:20.689 a ton of weight. I knew that. Is he still skinny? 01:36:23.630 --> 01:36:29.689 Yeah, he's still, yeah, he's still, yeah, he's 01:36:29.689 --> 01:36:33.460 gotten in shape. He's still good. Yeah, he really 01:36:33.460 --> 01:36:36.640 changed things around. God bless him. I actually 01:36:36.640 --> 01:36:43.239 seen him not too long back. Oh, okay, cool. All 01:36:43.239 --> 01:36:47.680 right, well, I have a list, Jeffy X list, that 01:36:47.680 --> 01:36:50.399 was inspired by this lady snorting all her food. 01:36:51.420 --> 01:36:54.760 So Jeffy X, you know, is our sleuth, our man 01:36:54.760 --> 01:36:58.119 about town that goes around and covers these... 01:36:58.880 --> 01:37:00.920 different products that didn't go through and 01:37:00.920 --> 01:37:03.180 different little experiments and stuff like that. 01:37:03.619 --> 01:37:06.000 He's a wanted man. These corporations don't like 01:37:06.000 --> 01:37:08.939 him giving away their top secrets, so they tried 01:37:08.939 --> 01:37:11.680 to catch him, capture him, and probably murder 01:37:11.680 --> 01:37:16.060 him, but he keeps getting away. Rob loves the 01:37:16.060 --> 01:37:18.760 guy so much that he actually made some presents 01:37:18.760 --> 01:37:21.420 for him, and I love him too. And did he come 01:37:21.420 --> 01:37:23.619 by Christmas to get his Sgt. Pepper's outfits? 01:37:25.079 --> 01:37:29.659 Yes, he did. Okay, good, good. Good. Well, Rob, 01:37:29.979 --> 01:37:33.500 me? Actually, I had a meeting with Luke at the 01:37:33.500 --> 01:37:37.819 Speedway because he, yeah, he, I live a block 01:37:37.819 --> 01:37:40.319 and a half from there. He couldn't find a fucking 01:37:40.319 --> 01:37:42.960 house. So I met him at the Speedway. You know, 01:37:42.979 --> 01:37:45.479 that's Jeffy. He's got a lot on his mind. He's 01:37:45.479 --> 01:37:48.760 always catching stuff and all that. So, well, 01:37:48.979 --> 01:37:53.880 and you knitted him a pair of Jeffy X underwear, 01:37:54.060 --> 01:37:56.989 embroider. You're an expert embroider. And you 01:37:56.989 --> 01:37:59.869 can even embroider with your toes, which is really 01:37:59.869 --> 01:38:02.710 good. But you prefer to do that in your loincloth, 01:38:02.770 --> 01:38:04.970 which sometimes they have to blurb it out if 01:38:04.970 --> 01:38:07.670 it's on, you know, if it's pictures or on video. 01:38:08.329 --> 01:38:11.409 They have to pixelate down there because, you 01:38:11.409 --> 01:38:14.590 know, your legs are spread with your toes embroidering, 01:38:14.590 --> 01:38:18.890 so it doesn't always work out. Yeah, you've got 01:38:18.890 --> 01:38:21.090 to blurb something. It's a little drafty. It 01:38:21.090 --> 01:38:24.310 gets a little drafty, doesn't it? Especially 01:38:24.310 --> 01:38:28.479 up here in the studio. Oh, yeah, yeah, you can't 01:38:28.479 --> 01:38:30.680 really embroider with your feet up there in a 01:38:30.680 --> 01:38:35.619 loincloth. So, anyhow, Rob embroidered him Jeffy 01:38:35.619 --> 01:38:38.220 X underwear, which has a Stephen Piercy pouch, 01:38:38.319 --> 01:38:41.720 which you put in there. Stephen Piercy, allegedly, 01:38:41.800 --> 01:38:44.899 in the old glam band Rat, used to have a pouch 01:38:44.899 --> 01:38:52.029 sewn into the inside of his spandex. And supposedly 01:38:52.029 --> 01:38:53.989 he could put a couple socks in there and look 01:38:53.989 --> 01:38:56.149 a little bit better to some females and maybe 01:38:56.149 --> 01:39:00.729 some gay males. Okay. And you did that for him. 01:39:00.810 --> 01:39:03.750 You made him a flying bat suit. And also you 01:39:03.750 --> 01:39:06.930 made him a Sgt. Pepper's outfit, which he loves 01:39:06.930 --> 01:39:09.149 because he's a huge Beatles fan, but he would 01:39:09.149 --> 01:39:11.489 never take it off. So you had to make him seven, 01:39:11.590 --> 01:39:13.449 one for each day of the week because he wore 01:39:13.449 --> 01:39:17.750 that so much. And me, I'm a simple guy. $2 ,500 01:39:17.750 --> 01:39:21.729 to either spend on his mom or hookers and blow, 01:39:21.909 --> 01:39:23.649 and I don't know which he did, and I don't want 01:39:23.649 --> 01:39:27.689 to know. Jeffy, I have yet to hear from you. 01:39:28.750 --> 01:39:31.630 I haven't either, but he's still alive. I pray 01:39:31.630 --> 01:39:34.270 to God you're changing them suits once a day. 01:39:34.329 --> 01:39:37.149 I hope so, too. He emailed this list to me, and 01:39:37.149 --> 01:39:39.689 he said, got to go. So he was on the run still. 01:39:39.930 --> 01:39:43.670 And I gave him the name of a damn good dry cloth. 01:39:45.229 --> 01:39:48.109 all right there you go jeffy x use it it's our 01:39:48.109 --> 01:39:52.250 it's our family dry cleaner i mean come on jeffy 01:39:52.250 --> 01:39:56.329 x you need to use it all right well here is a 01:39:56.329 --> 01:39:59.250 list here's a list of products that they tried 01:39:59.250 --> 01:40:02.579 to parade They tried to blend, but it didn't 01:40:02.579 --> 01:40:05.800 work for, well, actually for snorting purposes. 01:40:06.039 --> 01:40:08.340 They tried to do this because this lady's snorting 01:40:08.340 --> 01:40:10.239 everything. They thought that they could cop 01:40:10.239 --> 01:40:11.960 onto a market, and these are these different 01:40:11.960 --> 01:40:14.600 products, thought they could cop onto this new 01:40:14.600 --> 01:40:17.159 snorting market, but it didn't work. And the 01:40:17.159 --> 01:40:21.220 first one that didn't work for snorting purposes 01:40:21.220 --> 01:40:28.380 were Pixie Stix. Oh, those hurt. Yeah, they would 01:40:28.380 --> 01:40:32.380 burn. As much fun as they are in your mouth, 01:40:32.380 --> 01:40:35.300 they're not as fun in your nose, right? I was 01:40:35.300 --> 01:40:39.819 a kid. Yep, yep, yep. Me too. That's how we know. 01:40:40.979 --> 01:40:44.439 The second one that people turn down after they 01:40:44.439 --> 01:40:48.199 try to make it into a snorting deal is ketchup. 01:40:50.600 --> 01:40:55.149 Yeah, yeah. I can see that. I can see that. Oh, 01:40:55.210 --> 01:40:57.630 I love ketchup, though. I mean, could you eat 01:40:57.630 --> 01:41:00.090 a hot dog early and then snort the ketchup? No, 01:41:00.090 --> 01:41:02.590 I don't think I could snort ketchup because it'd 01:41:02.590 --> 01:41:06.090 make me think I had a bloody nose. Yeah, that's 01:41:06.090 --> 01:41:08.489 true. Okay. Well, here's what I was thinking 01:41:08.489 --> 01:41:10.930 is, you eat the... You look up in a mirror later, 01:41:11.130 --> 01:41:16.449 oh, shit! Yeah. True. You could eat a hot dog 01:41:16.449 --> 01:41:18.189 and then snort your ketchup and have it catch 01:41:18.189 --> 01:41:25.640 up with you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think I'm just 01:41:25.640 --> 01:41:28.779 going to do it the regular way. Sorry. The next 01:41:28.779 --> 01:41:31.920 one is yeast. Yeah, they kept bloating really 01:41:31.920 --> 01:41:37.939 bad, so they decided. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yep. The 01:41:37.939 --> 01:41:42.300 next one is instant coffee or whole bean, but 01:41:42.300 --> 01:41:44.960 boofing this is okay. You can boof coffee, and 01:41:44.960 --> 01:41:49.399 you can also boof whole bean coffee. And boofing, 01:41:49.460 --> 01:41:51.579 if you don't know what it is, Google it. All 01:41:51.579 --> 01:41:53.560 I can say is it's an alternative to sticking 01:41:53.560 --> 01:41:55.819 it up your nose, and Stevie Nicks was very famous 01:41:55.819 --> 01:41:59.840 for doing it. Yeah, it's got to go in one end 01:41:59.840 --> 01:42:02.619 or the other, right? So it's not your nose or 01:42:02.619 --> 01:42:04.899 your mouth or any orifice up there, so it's got 01:42:04.899 --> 01:42:07.460 to be an orifice somewhere down below. So you 01:42:07.460 --> 01:42:09.560 draw your own conclusion. That's what Boofine 01:42:09.560 --> 01:42:16.060 is. The next one is Rotel Dip. Didn't work. And 01:42:16.060 --> 01:42:17.859 I think it's because of the chunks, don't you? 01:42:19.619 --> 01:42:21.880 I mean, I guess they could have paraded it, but 01:42:21.880 --> 01:42:24.899 it doesn't say if they did or not. So Rotel Dip 01:42:24.899 --> 01:42:28.119 went by the wayside. People didn't like it. Jell 01:42:28.119 --> 01:42:32.100 -O? Probably, yes. It would burn, you're right. 01:42:32.659 --> 01:42:35.100 How about Jell -O? I have nothing against Jell 01:42:35.100 --> 01:42:37.359 -O. I think I'd be fun to boof. Or not boof, 01:42:37.359 --> 01:42:39.800 but... No, I don't want to boof anything. Except 01:42:39.800 --> 01:42:42.520 ibuprofen. We're not boofing. You were talking 01:42:42.520 --> 01:42:44.199 about snorting. Snorting. I know. I accidentally 01:42:44.199 --> 01:42:50.079 said boofing. No, no, no. You do not want to 01:42:50.079 --> 01:42:52.279 snort Jell -O. That shit would get lodged up 01:42:52.279 --> 01:42:56.060 in there. Oh, yeah. Because it's gelatin. It 01:42:56.060 --> 01:42:58.000 would stick. It would be... Yeah, you're right. 01:42:58.079 --> 01:43:05.239 You're right. You're right. Oh, yeah, you're 01:43:05.239 --> 01:43:08.039 right. Okay, Rob, I stand corrected. Thank you. 01:43:08.579 --> 01:43:11.359 The next one I agree with 100%. That's Sticky 01:43:11.359 --> 01:43:17.699 Rice. That's pretty agreed. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 01:43:17.699 --> 01:43:21.479 Pretty universal there. Yeah, anything solid. 01:43:21.659 --> 01:43:26.539 I agree. The next one that they wanted to make 01:43:26.539 --> 01:43:29.979 it snortable, but it didn't work, was Pop Rocks. 01:43:31.819 --> 01:43:37.149 Yeah, yeah. Now, I know a few people I'd like 01:43:37.149 --> 01:43:40.750 to watch try that. Yeah, me too. Just saying. 01:43:41.829 --> 01:43:44.390 That's all right, me too. As soon as you said 01:43:44.390 --> 01:43:46.550 that, a couple of faces came up in my brain. 01:43:46.590 --> 01:43:52.189 Yeah. Yeah, gotcha. The next one is black or 01:43:52.189 --> 01:43:55.989 cayenne pepper. I think that's pretty obvious. 01:43:56.270 --> 01:43:58.649 Sneezing or burning, neither one you don't want, 01:43:58.810 --> 01:44:08.689 right? Yeah, cayenne pepper would eat a good 01:44:08.689 --> 01:44:10.930 hole in them. Yeah, they didn't clear it out. 01:44:11.949 --> 01:44:14.550 Yeah, the cayenne would work well. Oh, actually, 01:44:14.550 --> 01:44:16.909 even black pepper, because you'd sneeze so much, 01:44:16.930 --> 01:44:19.590 you'd get it out of you anyhow. So, yeah. And 01:44:19.590 --> 01:44:22.210 then finally, goofballs. That would be a little 01:44:22.210 --> 01:44:25.630 hard to snort. I guess you could blend it up, 01:44:25.649 --> 01:44:30.229 but yeah. I don't think, yeah, no. Nope, I think 01:44:30.229 --> 01:44:32.750 I agree with that. So that's the end of Jeffy 01:44:32.750 --> 01:44:35.529 X's list. I sent him an email. He has yet to 01:44:35.529 --> 01:44:41.489 reply, so we hope he's okay. I hope he is. With 01:44:41.489 --> 01:44:44.909 that, it's 20 till 10, so I think we probably 01:44:44.909 --> 01:44:46.710 both ought to be getting the hell off of here, 01:44:46.789 --> 01:44:50.090 right? Yeah, we should. We both have to be up 01:44:50.090 --> 01:44:54.189 early, so there you go. Anyhow, thank you, everybody, 01:44:54.250 --> 01:44:58.550 for listening. Grandma Opal is hanging in there. 01:44:58.689 --> 01:45:03.149 That's all we can ask for. Good. You're still 01:45:03.149 --> 01:45:05.529 my first grandma. Jimmy, I know you're busy. 01:45:05.609 --> 01:45:07.590 Thank you for giving me an update here and there. 01:45:07.670 --> 01:45:09.850 Really, really appreciate it. We know you're 01:45:09.850 --> 01:45:14.229 very worried about your grandmother. I haven't 01:45:14.229 --> 01:45:16.770 told anybody this, but his grandmother is essentially 01:45:16.770 --> 01:45:23.369 his mother. She raised him. Honestly, over a 01:45:23.369 --> 01:45:27.550 period of time, we have talked about that. I'm 01:45:27.550 --> 01:45:33.340 trying to gather that. Yeah, yeah. And, of course, 01:45:33.399 --> 01:45:35.560 he's very distraught about it, and I understand. 01:45:36.920 --> 01:45:40.800 And we're here for you, Jimmy. Yeah, Jimmy, you 01:45:40.800 --> 01:45:43.399 need anything, of course you got it. We love 01:45:43.399 --> 01:45:46.000 you, man. Reach out, reach out. Dodge City, Kansas, 01:45:46.180 --> 01:45:48.479 we love you guys. Jimmy, we love you. We love 01:45:48.479 --> 01:45:50.840 Grandma Opal. Hang in there. And who was the 01:45:50.840 --> 01:45:54.220 other one? Ricky, was that it? Yeah, Ricky. Yeah, 01:45:54.239 --> 01:45:57.039 Ricky, too. Yeah, I don't like it. Yeah, I don't 01:45:57.039 --> 01:46:01.520 like it. And he's not actually from Dodge City. 01:46:01.600 --> 01:46:03.819 Ricky isn't. He's from outside Dodge City, but 01:46:03.819 --> 01:46:07.300 he counts himself as Dodge City. Oh, okay. But 01:46:07.300 --> 01:46:13.060 good enough. So, anyhow. Hi, Ricky. Yeah, hi, 01:46:13.180 --> 01:46:16.819 Ricky. Thank you for hanging in there, too. Grandma 01:46:16.819 --> 01:46:18.899 Opal, we're glad you're still around. We hope 01:46:18.899 --> 01:46:22.380 you get better. It probably won't happen. Hey, 01:46:22.399 --> 01:46:27.479 special shout -out to Roseanne. You can do that. 01:46:27.520 --> 01:46:30.170 She still hates me, I've been told. I will. Okay. 01:46:30.869 --> 01:46:34.270 Shout out to Ruthann. Just keep my mouth shut. 01:46:34.909 --> 01:46:39.210 Very cool. Thank you. Okay. Yeah, she likes you. 01:46:39.350 --> 01:46:42.930 She does not like me. That's my fan. I know, 01:46:43.010 --> 01:46:45.369 I know. You can have her. That's fine. She'll 01:46:45.369 --> 01:46:49.970 never like me, ever. So that's fine. Anyhow, 01:46:49.970 --> 01:46:52.130 everybody, thank you for listening. Good night, 01:46:52.229 --> 01:46:57.989 assholes. Good night, assholes. Oh, no. Looks 01:46:57.989 --> 01:47:00.829 like the show's over, kids. Mark has explosive 01:47:00.829 --> 01:47:04.489 diarrhea and can't afford a wireless mic. Fear 01:47:04.489 --> 01:47:06.909 not, assholes. They'll be back invading your 01:47:06.909 --> 01:47:07.670 ear holes soon.