Hey, my fellow heavy breeders. This is Dash Riptide.
Your music news. Joe Walsh is selling his guitar
collection. Would be cool if he had a couple
extra G's. Probably hundreds of extra G's. There
will be auction off this February. Google the
site. It's kind of a long web address. And I
would be going on for a long time trying to explain
it to you. Guess the Eagles didn't split any
cash they grabbed with him. Thousands of G's
for their tickets, and they have their old guitar
selling as shit. Kind of sad. Just saying. This
is Gash Riptine, and that was your music news.
If it's too loud, you probably have ear damage,
just like me. Alright. Music creeps. All right.
That sounded more like creaking bed springs.
It did, but it was still funny enough to break
me there. Oh, God. I just had a flashback to
one of my most horrifying memories. Okay. I'd
gone to Columbia with some friends of mine to
just hang out and go to a party. Some friends
were already living there. And we needed a place
to crash for the night. And the downstairs neighbor
said, Hey, you guys can crash here, no problem.
And she and one of the guys that I brought along
with me hooked up on the living room floor while
I was trying to sleep on the living room couch.
I bet that happened before. And I had to hear
this guy lose his virginity. I bet his butt hurt.
Oh, it might have. But man, the next day he couldn't
wait to tell us all about it. It was like, Phil,
no, I don't want to hear it. You had to listen
to it last night. Yes. I heard all the little
wet noises last night. I don't need to know.
That's just like Mitch, one of our regular emailers
that wouldn't let us know who he was. He knew
me and Rob. Yeah. And he let a little information
go, and I remembered what it was. He didn't like
me very much, and I remember what it was. So
we were in a car. It was a bus girl's car. This
is when we both worked at Jesse Jones. Her name
was Denise, and we're both at the same party.
And she goes, hey, have you drank anything? I'm
like, no. I go, I got to work in the morning.
She goes, well, you drive my car. We got to drive
some people home. I'm like, because she was trash.
I'm like, okay, no problem. So I'm driving, and
Mitch and this girl named Jessie, a little biracial
girl, really nice, from Brandon, they hooked
up in the back seat. And, you know, sometimes
you can... Get some smells and some sounds, right?
Yeah. Okay, well, Denise looks at me and she
whispers, are they fucking? And I look in the
river and I go, uh, yeah. And she's like, what
do we do? So I pump on the brakes a couple of
times and I go, fuck! And all of a sudden you
see some rust and whoa, whoa, whoa, cop! And
then I pull over, and Mitchell is what he called
himself at the time. Now he calls himself Mitch.
Did I run that guy off? I hope so. I hope so,
too. So all of a sudden, he runs out in the field
with a fucking boner and his pants down, falling
down. And anyhow, we're all laughing at him.
He's out there looking around and shit. Where's
the cop? Oh, he went on. Motherfucker. So when
he let loose with that, I remember Mitchell,
not Mitch, Mitchell and me and Rob were having
fun with him now. But anyhow, that's just another
fuck story. So, all right. Anyhow, what do you
want to go into? Right off the bat, I want to
tell you my Jaguar story. Okay. Remember when
Bud Light decided to reinvent their brand with
Dylan Mulvaney, the trans spokesperson? Yep,
and I want to say this real quick for the lady
that did that. They told her to do something
that was going to be shocking, and she did. Controversial
and out there, yeah. Yeah, so they're kind of
contradictory on that because that's what she
did, but go ahead. Well, the Jaguar car company
has done one better than that in the spectacular
way they're committing suicide as a company.
Jaguar, not too long back, was sold, along with
Land Rover, to an Indian car company called Tata
Motors. What a name. Tata, yeah. Tata. The CEO
of Jaguar, I think they changed to a new guy,
and the new CEO said they looked at their sales
figures, and pretty much every year their sales
were pretty much steady or declining. They realized
that the typical Jaguar clientele was getting
older and dying, and new people weren't becoming
Jaguar customers. So their customer base was
basically aging out and dying off. So they decided,
we're going to do something brand new and exciting
and new. What they chose was to reinvent themselves
as an electric car company only, which is bad
enough. But here's the way they implemented it.
Number one, they said, we're ceasing production
of all cars. Every car we currently make, stopping
production, never going to make any of them ever
again. The next thing they did is they went online
and deleted their entire online presence. Discussion
forums, frequently asked questions, database
for information and parts. Discussion groups
about the legacy models and all these things.
Deleted it all. As if they're completely trying
to erase their entire history and legacy. Just
gone overnight. And the showrooms are now empty.
Not a single car coming. And then they said,
okay, wait for two years. And late 2026, we're
going to introduce the new car line. And then
they redid their logo, completely removed the
Jaguar cat, and now it's spelled with lowercase
J -A, uppercase G, uppercase U, lowercase A -R.
And as far as I know, people are made fun of
who makes upper and lowercase. Yeah. That's kind
of a meme. Here they're doing it. Okay, not too
long back, they introduced the two new models.
Turned out there's just one model. It's the Type
00. And you remember the old Dodge Magnum wagons?
They kind of look like a station wagon, but real
beefy and thick. Vaguely, yeah. Cross that with
a Cybertruck, and that's about what this car
looked like. And they're available in two colors,
pink and baby blue. These are basically concept
cars that they aren't even going to make. Wow.
And they told her right in front, oh, these are
just concept cars. These aren't what we're going
to make. Why the fuck are you showing them to
me? And then they came out with a commercial.
And you've got to Google this commercial. It's
called Jaguar Copy Nothing. Okay. The entire
32nd spot, there's not a single car. Not a single
road. Nobody's driving anything. Instead you
have eight people in bright colors and abstract
clothing with bizarre hairstyles and every one
of them you can't tell what gender they are,
if any. And they're stomping and marching around
in this hot pink lunar landscape with paintbrushes
and sledgehammers doing weird things while slogans
appear on the screen like delete ordinary and
break barriers and copy nothing and blah blah
blah. So these weird, bizarre -looking androgynous
people stomp around doing these weird things,
and in the end they show the Jaguar a new logo
that says Copy Nothing. Not a single car in evidence
anywhere. Nothing about what they are, what they're
going to do. It's just noise. And Elon Musk had
the most widely copied response when Jaguar was
so proud in announcing on social media about
their new ad campaign, and his response was,
do you sell cars yeah and that's what everybody
started copying is like we can't even tell if
you sell cars anymore what the hell are you yeah
and someone commented on their their type zero
zero prototype they said zero zero yeah that's
how many you're gonna sell but they're still
almost a year from having anything in the showrooms
to sell and right now they're just a smoking
ruin They're absolutely nothing like they ever
were. They can never go back to that. It's time
for a different car company to buy them pennies
on the dollar and rebuild the brand. That's all.
They're not going to be able to do it themselves
because they fucked it up too bad. They're going
to have to actually sell it. And someone's going
to have to come up and, yeah. Well, now the engineer
that they hired to design their new prototypes
and cars, he originally came out with three different
Land Rover models that were very popular and
very well received. But now he's come out with
this, and they fired him. They've already dumped
his ass. Just gone from the company. They didn't
even send him back to Land Rover where he was
doing well. They just dumped him. He was like,
no, you can't do anything. I think I would agree
with him. Yeah. At this point, I don't see anything
for Jaguar except... making parts for their existing
cars, but they pretty much shit on everybody
who ever bought a Jaguar before. Basically told
them, we don't want you, we don't need you, we
don't pretend you own, even exist. That's why
Ford or somebody needs to buy them and go, we're
taking this over, we're going to rebuild this
brand, you watch. I think you could get them
really cheap right about now. Yeah. If I was
another car company, a prominent one, I would
buy them and then advertise on that and go, we're
changing this around, stay tuned. Yeah, regenerate
Lee Iacocca. Yes. There's a British car show
that I used to watch called Top Gear. It was
on from like 2003 to like 2020 or something like
that. And they were excellent at following the
car manufacturing industry, especially in Britain.
And it was a great show. It was fun. It was funny.
It was really beautifully photographed, etc.
I really wish they were still together making
that show because I'd love to hear what those
guys have to say about Jaguar. But right now
they're all off on other things and there's just
no reason for them to comment on it. So they're
not saying anything. But they would really let
them have it. I would encourage people to go
out and Google the Jaguar Copy Nothing ad and
then the response. A bunch of videos will come
up showing the response to it and everybody's
opinions about how awful it is. Wow. You think
people would have learned their lesson by now,
but I guess some companies, the corporate culture
is so amazingly out of touch that they honestly
think spending close to a billion dollars on
something like this is a really good business
move. I call that a lazy. That's a front office
lazy move. I know. What do you do? It's like,
oh, we're going to hire somebody. Don't worry
about it. I mean, all you have to do is ask anybody.
Is this going to work? And they'll all just laugh
at you. No, that's not going to work. Number
one, they go, are you serious? Yeah. And number
two, they're going to go, no. Yeah, yeah. And
I think the only people who would have been all
for it are the ones who are never going to buy
a Jaguar anyway. They're just not. True. So it's
bizarre. The demographic they're going after
is never going to spend that much money on a
car. I really don't know what the point is other
than just destroy the car brand for no reason.
Yeah. Yeah. All right. Thank you. Do you want
to go into these lead singers that we think would
make the hottest looking chicks? I think so.
And this is in their prime. Oh, yeah. Definitely
in their prime. If I say Vince Neil, don't think
of the one right now. No. If I say David Lee
Roth, don't think of the one right now. No. Oh,
gosh. Uncle Creepy. Yes. Great Uncle Creepy.
He would be an excellent Uncle Creepy. Yeah.
Yep. Oh, yeah. He could do Mr. Creepy. We could
bring him back with David Lee Roth's guy. Yeah.
Wow. Hey. Oh, my God. But you got there, little
kitty. Whoa, hey. Wow. I want to be your ice
cream man, little girl. I got your sucker. Woo,
hey, whoa. Yeah, I can definitely see David Lee
being just horribly inappropriate and thinking
he's cool. Oh, I could, too. I could, too. You
know what's funny? When he was a little kid,
he was this annoying, hyper... asshole that nobody
could stand yep and then when he got older and
he got better looking and his dad had money so
he bought him a big ass pa system then suddenly
everybody wanted him in their band yes now he's
just that annoying hyper creepy kid again that
nobody can stand but i gotta give him credit
in his prime he is probably the greatest lead
uh not singer showman showman ever yeah yeah
i mean kind of like aussie well aussie's in that
same category too yeah singing not the best Definitely.
I mean, although I think Ozzy was better than
David Monroe. Well, hell, look at Alice Cooper.
That guy can't sing very well at all. No, but
he made a living off of it. Yes, he did. He's
very entertaining. He doesn't sing all that well.
He's a hell of an harmonica player, though. Okay,
that's good. He plays an amazing harmonica. So
is Ozzy. Yeah. Or was. Yeah. Okay, so, you know,
I'll tell you what. I mean, all of them did a
great job, though. So, all right. You got your
first one? Jim Morrison. Formerly of the Doors.
I'm going to take him off of here. I got him
on here. No, I didn't put him on the final list.
All right. No, I did. Okay. Yeah, I would agree.
Jim Morrison, definitely. Yeah. Yeah. A little
extra estrogen, a little less testosterone. Oh,
fuck yeah. Yeah, he could have been a pinup girl.
Oh, yeah, yeah. Yep. Allegedly. Allegedly. Put
a set of double C's on him in his fucking set.
Yeah. A little eyeliner. Oh, fuck. Whole meaning
to the song, Touch Me. True. My first one is
Michael Hutchins. Oh, I had him too, yeah. Oh,
yeah, in excess. Yeah. He was smooth. Oh, man.
Oh, my God. He was probably heavily downloaded.
The image. For guys and gals. When he died, he
was downloading. That's true. Or trying to. Yeah.
The most auto -erotic asphyxiation gone wrong.
Yeah. Allegedly. Allegedly. Kind of like the
kung fu actor, David Carradine. Yeah. Allegedly,
he was dangling from his neck while his dick
was in his hand. This is the result of getting
anything you want, whatever you want, and you're
fucking bored. Yeah. Honestly. I mean, I... Hutchins
could get any woman he wanted. I mean, he was
a very desired, good -looking guy. It just blows
my mind how anybody could get bored with a vagina.
I know. I just don't see it. No. Endless possibilities.
Well, it's got to be something about you're glad
-handed constantly and there's nowhere to go,
I guess. Yeah. It's available 24 -7. It just
loses its being special. I guess so. I mean,
yeah. It would have been a nice predicament to
be in, wouldn't it? Yeah. But, no, we were not
granted that. Yeah. All right, let's go to your
next one. Lenny Kravitz. I got him too. There's
obvious ones for sure. I think he could definitely
pull that off. He'd have the swagger and the
personality. Just a slightly different sperm
had met the egg way back when. I think, what
would the name be? Lisa Kravitz or something?
Lisa Kravitz, yes. Lisa Lenny, yeah. It may still
would have wound up with Lisa Bonet. And also,
I'll go to this, too. I mean, Lenny Kravitz is
one of those guys that you can look at and go,
oh, that's a good -looking guy. Because guys
don't have that thing that females do. Females
can walk up and tell if another female's good
-looking. A guy can't really, I mean, a gay guy
probably, but us, we can't really tell. But Lenny
Kravitz is one of those guys that you walk up
and go, oh, that guy's a good -looking guy. You
can tell. He's got these pristine, perfect pictures.
Yeah, pretty much any woman I've ever been in
a long -term relationship with, when she says,
you know, I think these men are attractive and
these men aren't, I'm puzzled. It's like, that's
not what I would think. I would think women would
be all over these guys and look at those guys
and go, eh? Well, men are more aesthetically
looking at looks where women are like the charisma,
the charm. That's true. That's a lot of it, yeah.
And that's how kind of like Jelly Roll is a sought
-out meal, or, you know, I think it's with somebody,
but so is Meatloaf. Paul Young. Steven Tyler,
who's ugly as a box of rocks, just from a physical
standpoint. If he was just some shoe salesman
from Albuquerque, nobody would want to sleep
with him. No, that's right. And how about like
Paul Young, remember him? Yeah. Long hair, short
guy. Women were all over him, but he was rather
courtly and kind of dumpy. Yeah. So that's the
thing about women is they aren't just like the
looks. If the guy's got a good amount of swagger
and can present it right, they don't care. So
guys are still guys. They're like, no, I don't
want to. All right. I got Prince. Yeah. Prince
is a very good one. Do you have him or not? I
thought about it, but I didn't put him down.
Well, I know it was obvious, but I figured because
it was obvious, I had to put him down. Yeah.
All right. Elvis Presley. Oh, shit. That's what
I didn't get, but I agree with 100%. Yeah, that
guy. He was another guy that you could look at
and go, oh, that's a good -looking guy. Yeah,
yeah. And he knew how to work it. Yes, he did.
He had to be taught how to work it, but he absolutely
got it right. But he did it right. Yes, he did.
Fucking 3 ,000 screaming women didn't lie. Yep.
Well, even when he was fat, he still got the
women. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. So, I agree. When
he quit eating those Goober burgers and the banana
sandwiches, yes. I have Mr. W. Axel Rose. And
W. Axel Rose's actual official name. William
Axel Rose or just W? Just W. Never said what
the W's for, but he came out. It was W. Axel
Rose. And if you ask him now, he'll go, yeah,
my name is W. Axel Rose. But our word goes by
Axel. Don't call him Waxel. Waxel. Yeah, I could
say Axel Rose in his prime, definitely. He would
have had that. Not now, he looks like Buster
Brown. As a girl, he would have that closing
time girl, kind of rough. party girl look. Yeah,
yeah, yeah. The one that's like, well, she'll
work. She has to. Yeah, yeah. She wouldn't probably
be the prettiest, but would probably give you
the night to remember. Yes, yeah, yeah. Emotionally
scarred. Yes. I could never smell banana cream
again without thinking of her. Yes. So anyhow,
Mr. W. Axl Rose gets on my list. What about Peter
Frampton? Yeah, damn it. That's what I completely
didn't even think of. Big eyes and the long curls.
Okay, you're right. I mean, all the hair is all
gone now. Well, he was almost a female according
to Pamela DeBarn, the famous plaster caster lady.
Yeah, he's kind of hung like a girl. Yeah, I
guess she couldn't really casterize that. It
was not enough. Yeah. Not enough of it. Let me
mix up a quarter cup of plaster here. That's
all I need. Yeah. Ms. Galveston's stepdaughter.
It is. What's your name? Weezy? Yeah. Weezy.
Weezy. Weezy. All right. Short for Weeza. Weeza,
yeah. Well, Lisa. Well, Lisa. Yeah. All right.
The next one I got would be Jim Dandy to the
rescue. Oh, yeah. Yeah. In his prime, of course.
Not now. Yeah. In his prime. Yeah. He was kind
of a... We seem a little unhinged. He wasn't.
Go Jim Dandy, go. Anyone that would stand there
and shake his ass while he has his backup singer
singing, Go Jim Dandy, go. He's got some issues.
He probably does. All right, go ahead. My next
would be David Gilmour. Big soulful eyes. Full
lips. Yeah, that would translate pretty well.
Full of angst. Yes. Yeah, a female, he'd be unpredictable
in bed. Yeah. Smack you in the face and then
say, I love you so much. You know I didn't mean
it right. I meant that one. Hang on, where's
that cattle prong? Hang on, hang on, hang on.
What'd you say? And then after that, I'm going
to get the sewing needle. What? All right, and
then after that, I shouldn't have even done this,
but David Lee Roth, so obvious. Yeah, yeah. Not
now. I think I left him off, but... Hey there,
slapmets. It's time for The Creeps Music News.
Hey, my little pumpkin seeds. This is Johnny
Rohypnol with your music news. John Karabi, former
lead singer of Motley Crue and The Scream, has
a new album coming out on April 24th called New
Day. You can pre -order the album online. The
effort features guitars like Richard Fortis from
Guns N' Roses, Paul Taylor from winger Steve
Perry on keyboards, Marty Freckerson, producer
and multi -instrumentalist, and Charlie Starr
from Blackberry Smoke on guitar solos, alongside
Evan Freckerson on drums and bass. This should
be a pretty good album. Sure has a lot of talent
to go with it. This is Johnny Rohypnol. That
was your Music News, and remember, Bar chords
are bullshit. I should have and almost did, but
what the hell. You know what, it's more content.
It's alright, we can agree in his day, yes. My
next one is David Bowie. Did I even put him,
I didn't even put him on here. Wow, you're right.
He did make a decent looking female several times.
Bad teeth, but you know, you can overlook that.
You're British. Yeah, British teeth. Yeah. So,
all right. I got Nuno Betancourt. Yes, I put
that. What is he, Brazilian? Something like,
yeah, I think he is Brazilian. Somewhere South
America. He's tall, slender. You can tell he's
a good -looking guy. He's got great hair, great
smile. With a German -sounding lane by Bettencourt
and a South American heritage, you've got to
wonder who escaped Germany in the 40s and landed
in there. If I was him, I would be looking up
his ancestry. There might be some Nazis that
ran away. Linda Ronstadt is the same way. Her
father, Ronstadt, is German, but her mother is
Hispanic. That's why she had so many Spanish
languages. Or South America, probably. A lot
of Germans had their eyeballs on South America
for a getaway after the war. Yeah, nobody could
find them there. They'd go in the middle of fucking
Peru and nobody's getting them. It's like, oh
yeah, there's an old man that lives in there.
You know, whatever. Angel of death himself, Joseph
Mengele. He lived down there, lived his life,
and died. And it was, you know, more than a decade
after his death, they figured out that's who
it was. I know. Dug him up, did DNA. Yep, that's
him. That's him. Yep. Well, Hitler got away too,
although they don't like to publicize that. And
the burnout bunker was not Avobron and Adolf
Hitler. No, it was one of his lookalikes. Yes.
Yeah. So where did he go? And that piece of skull
that Joseph Stalin kept in his safe that he was
sure was a woman's skull. The DNA says it was
a woman's skull. Oh, my God. Can you imagine?
The afterlife is like, who's going to tell him?
You've been fondling the skull of a different
corpse. Yes. What? How embarrassing. So for that,
you get the dummy room over in the corner. Yes,
you're put on this cone -shaped hat. All right,
so I came up with David Bowie. Okay. Brett Michaels,
of course. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Make him take the
headband off, the do -rag off his head. Oh, you
know what? Actually, I'll scratch him out. We
can't have a bald -headed woman. Yeah. I mean,
I'm sure he's got no hair at all under that thing.
Oh, I think so, because he never takes it off.
Yeah. Never. He never wants. Never, never, never,
never, never. So he's definitely got something
to hide under there. Then he's kind of full of
himself anymore. It sounds like. Yeah. There's
that one country singer that... bald as an egg,
and he always wears the hat mushed down so his
thighs barely show. Renny Zellweger married him,
and then they divorced very quickly. Oh, yeah,
who was it? Jason Aldean. Aldean, Aldean, yeah.
Yeah, I remember when Zellweger filed for an
annulment of the marriage, her claim was that
he was not who he represented himself to be before
the marriage. So that tells me that their sexual
preferences did not match up. Oh, you're right.
Yeah. Okay. Because that's all they would say.
So he brought out the closet afterwards. Yes.
Oh, hey, by the way, now that we're married.
I want you to dress up as an eager old boy. And
kick me in the nuts. And say, no, Jared, I don't
want your subway. That's not a foot long. It's
only 11 inches. Allegedly. Allegedly, yes. But,
yeah, he, she apparently, they reached the deal
to where she would, protect his secret because
nothing ever happened in his career, but the
two of them never, ever wanted to talk to each
other again. Wow. Yeah. I was unaware of that,
but I can believe it. Yeah. All right. My next
up is Eddie Vedder from Pearl Jam. I almost put
him on there, but he's such a complainer. I was
like, I don't want him on there. Yeah. She'd
be the girl that, you know, she's fun overnight,
but then you get in the morning and cook her
breakfast, and she complains and whines at everything.
I don't like my eggs like that. So you might
end up just calling her an Uber. Then you move,
so she can't find you again. Look, what a coincidence.
There's an Uber out here. You need to go. Wow,
isn't that weird how the world works? All right,
my next one will be Randy Rhodes. Oh, yeah. He
would have been a phenomenal looking girl. Yes,
definitely. I'll go with Sebastian Bach. I think
I got him on here. Yes, I do. Yeah, very much
so. Not now, but back then. No, back then. Now
he looks like fried shit. Yes, he does. A little
bit of dog poop left out on the sidewalk on a
hot day. Yep. I'm going to go with Vince Neal.
Yeah? In his heyday, not now. Yeah. Steven Tyler
wanted to boink him. Yeah, yeah. He looked like
a lady. Until he turned around. Then he probably
still wanted to boink him. Yeah, he... Yeah,
I think that's back in the days when he was like,
I don't care, just get him here. I'll figure
it out when I get there. He was next door neighbors
with Charlie Sheen's character on Two and a Half
Men. There was a period in that show where Steve
and Tyler lived next door to the character Charlie
Parker. And they hung out and they had a friendly
rivalry going. Was he actually on the show? Yes,
yes. Oh, wow. Came over and kicked his ass a
couple of times. So I think they were friends
in real life. Okay. That's cool. Yeah. All right.
Yours? Robert Plant. I don't have him, but yeah,
I agree with that. Yeah. Big perm. Yep. Yep.
I got Jon Bon Jovi. Yeah. A little short, but
that'd be all right. You know what? I mean, it
doesn't matter. He still has that hair and the
look. Yeah. I've got one on here. If you have
him, it's going to be amazing. But we're coming
up on that. I'm just picturing Jon Bon Jovi as
Jane Bon Jovi on Jersey Shore. Or Bon Jovi. Fighting
with Snooki and whoever the hell else is on there.
Or it'd be Bon Jovi or something like that. Bon
Jovi. Bon Jovi. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Something like
that. All right, you're done. With overworked
hair and spray on tan. Big smile. Yes. Earth,
Wind, and Fire pants that he got for like $10
at the thrift store. And an enormous stud in
her tongue. Yes. And sweats a lot. Yes. Yes.
Robin Zander. Oh, shit. I should have got him.
Yeah. Yeah. Oh, my God. He would have been one
of the better looking ones. Yeah. He would have
been the snow white one. He would have been the
pristine one. Yeah. Yeah. He would have been
like the Stevie Nicks version. Yes. Yeah. Yeah.
He would have been just like phenomenal. Yeah.
Ed Turner. Who's that? Oh, it could be Robin.
Yeah, it could still be Robin. That's true. Okay,
very good one. Did you say Billy Idol yet or
not? I did not. Okay, Billy Idol would have made
a good -looking chick in his heyday. Yeah. Yeah,
she'd probably be the kind that's crazy in the
head, crazy in the bed, probably kick your ass
if you survive. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. All of
a sudden it's like, I love you, and then she
hits you in the face with a frying pan. I told
you I love you. It'd be kind of like how sex
with Klingons is supposed to be. There's lots
of broken bones and blood shedding and lots of
screaming and violence, but you wouldn't trade
it for anything. Allegedly. Allegedly. I've never
had sex with a Klingon. No, me neither. Never
had sex with anyone dressed as a Klingon. No,
me neither. Although I asked. No. All right.
Is it me or you? I think it's you. Okay. Chris
Isaac. Oh, yeah. Damn it. I missed that one.
Man, he was such a heartthrob when he broke in
in the late 80s, early 90s. Yeah, he was. Man.
He's showing some age now. He's still a pretty
entertaining guy. It looks like he'd be a lot
of fun to hang around with. Yeah, but you can
tell he's had a few years on him, but he's still
together well and does well and plays well. Yeah.
Andrew Wood. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Another love bone.
If that was Andrea Wood, she'd be giving wood
to a lot of people. Yes. And maybe he was anyhow.
I don't know. It's really flamboyant. People
do just about anything for heroin. Yeah, yeah,
yeah. Androgynous, very much so. And a heroin
addict. So very possibly, very possibly on the
radar there. Dave Mustaine once said, you know,
there was a point where I would have sold my
dog for a hit of heroin. And I love my dog. Yeah,
he started an animal shelter. As a matter of
fact, we have a music news on that that will
be on here. All right, cool. Yeah, he started
a huge dog shelter in Palisades maybe or something
like that. Sounds right. Yeah. So anyhow, he's
a good guy. I mean, he had his time where he
wasn't so much, but he's a pretty good guy now.
So anyhow, go ahead. I'm sorry. Yeah, I thought
about very briefly putting Dave Mustaine on the
list, and I thought, no, no, no. I did too, just
for the ginger effect. But then I saw his latest
announcement about his tour, and I'm like, no,
I just can't. But then again, if I would have
looked at David Lee Roth recently, I would have
been like, no, I'm not going to. But anyhow,
I got you. Okay, he could have been on there.
Could have been. We'll just leave it at that.
All right. Next up, I got David Cassidy. Oh,
shit. From the Partridge family. And how about
his brother, Sean? Yeah. Sean Cassidy was definitely
a heartthrob. Yeah. He died early, didn't he?
Did Sean die too? David died. Yeah, David Cassidy
died too long back. I think I'm thinking of Andy
Gibb. You are thinking of Andy Gibb. The younger
brother of the Bee Gees. He died early. Yeah,
he died really young. Yeah, around 30 or something.
And he was never a part of the Bee Gees like
a lot of people think he was. He was a solo artist.
Very, very successful. Hang on, let me take a
look. I think David Cassidy definitely. Yeah,
David Cassidy did die a few years ago. Sean Cassidy.
Not to be confused with Sean Salisbury. He's
67 years old and still looks great. He does.
Yeah. Oh, wow. He aged 12, didn't he? Yeah. Not
like his brother. Not like Sean Salisbury. Mr.
Dick Pick. Dick Pick, yeah. He's another one
that got busted on that shoot. Got fired from
ESPN where he's making bank because he couldn't
quit sending dick pics to all the new female
employees. And they gave him several chances.
Oh, they gave him a lot of chances. Yeah, and
then finally they're like, we cannot cover for
you anymore. Yeah. So, all right, my next one
would be Jakey Lee in his prime. Yeah, definitely.
He would have been, yes. Especially in those
tight leather pants. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yep. I'm going to go with George Michael. Oh,
yeah. Not really a rocker, but. I cannot believe
I don't have George Michael on there. No, he
was. Yeah. He's another guy you can walk up and
go, yeah, that guy, he's good looking. He's pretty
cute. Yeah, yep. I have Rick Springfield. Yeah,
that's another good one. Yeah, very much so.
Yeah. That smile just fucking, that smile seals
him. Yeah. Hey, I'm Rick Springfield. You know,
he has been head. crippling stage fright his
entire performing career. And that has led to
lots of abuse problems in his life. Substances
or sexual addictions. Just to deal with his...
All kinds of stuff. He's written many memoirs
and spoke about it. He's very open about it.
I really enjoy his openness. I remember my wife
saw him in concert and she said... He would get
a fresh guitar for every song. Really? Every
single song. He'd take his guitar off and get
a new one. Huh. Never the same one. I wonder
why that is. The only thing I could think of
was that he was... Alleviating his stage fright?
I was thinking that he was selling the guitars.
It's like, this guitar was used live on stage
at this date and this location for this song.
It can be yours for the low price of $1 ,200.
Okay, that makes sense. Yeah. Okay. My last one
is Ozzy. Oh, yeah. You know what? I didn't even
think about that in his prime. Yeah, he'd be
kind of the sloppy party girl. Yeah, yeah, but
he'd be the one like, okay, I guess this will
work. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, not bad. Maybe about
a seven, but she'll work. Yeah. Sorry, Oz. Did
you say Ian Ashbury yet? I did not. All right.
Oh, you said Jim Morrison. Yes. Okay. In Ashbury
of the Colt, in this prime, we looked really
fucking fine with a little lipstick and a couple
of knockers. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I would say so.
Yeah. This next one's going to get you, but go
ahead. I was going to say David Grohl, but we
already know what he would look like as a girl
because he played a girl in a lot of Foo Fighters
videos. Yes. Yeah. So he would be an ugly girl.
Yes, very. Yeah. How about the Nelson Brothers?
Oh, yeah. And you could even bring your dad on
board with that, too. Ricky Nelson. Ricky Nelson.
Yeah. Yeah. You could probably throw Hanson in
there, as well. Milli Vanilli in there, too.
Yeah. Yeah. All right. Yeah, Nelson Brothers.
Definitely. Definitely Nelson. Yeah. Didn't they
turn country? I think I remember a picture of
them with long blonde hair and cowboy hats. I
think they did way after the fact in an attempt
to try to be relevant again, which rarely works.
And then finally I have Greg Jafria. Oh, yeah.
You remember long blonde hair? Mm -hmm. Decent
looking guy. I think he'd be very well in, yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. You know, we ought to contact these
people and tell them, you know, hey. You ever
thought about switching? You think you're going
to be much better once you switch. Pretty much
all of them have enough money to pay their way
through it. Alright, that's all I got on those.
You didn't have any more either. You want to
do some bullet points? I would love to do some
bullet points. Guns N' Roses is the only band
from the glam slash grunge era that is really
trying to make original good music again. Yeah,
I'd say so. Because just about everybody else
is just doing the same old, same old. They're
actually putting production and money into their
songs. And it's paying off. They're good songs.
Yeah, pretty much everybody else I hear is, you
know, Bush is going to mature on his old stuff.
Smashing Pumpkins is doing nothing. Guns N' Roses
is coming out with a new album this year, and
they're touring a huge tour. So they're not screwing
around. I mean, they're going to be like the
Stones when it's all said and done. Where Motley
Crue's going to be over there, they're going
to be keep embarrassing themselves. I knew a
long time ago that Guns was a superior product
out of those, you know, the whole bands like
that, like Motley Crue and all that. And they're
proving it. Yeah. Yeah, these guys are head and
tail above most. Guns N' Roses always struck
me as the band that... It was like, let's put
our energy into the music and let's rock our
asses off and the business end will take care
of itself. Production. Yeah, Motley Crue is the
kind that's like, okay, how can we do good business
with this? Let's get the business part right
and then we'll go out and play the music because
it helps our business. Yes. Motley Crue really
turned into business people instead of musicians.
Yeah, and I blame Nicky Sixx for most of that.
I think when he went into recovery and all that,
he just went too far. And now he really appears
to be a pompous asshole. It seems like part of
his recovery seemed to be him deciding that everybody
else was out to get him and he'd been taken advantage
of too long and now everybody's going to get
treated like shit and he's going to put himself
first no matter what. A number of artists have
gone through that. Billy Joel went through that.
Can't think of any off the top of my head. They
either suddenly realize or something happens,
and they're like, oh, shit, I've got to micromanage
in my entire life, and everybody's my enemy.
They just live the rest of their life like that.
It doesn't work out well for the music. I guess
they can stay rich or get rich or whatever, but
the music usually gets really shitty. I would
agree. All right, Alice in Chains, they still
make great music, but... That's Jerry Cantrell,
pretty much. Yeah, yeah. I don't count that.
It's Alice in Chains in name only. Yeah. And
now he's just doing solo, but going on. A good
example was, you remember the band Steppenwolf?
Yeah. They had Magic Carpet Ride, and he and
Boring to be Wild. Uh -huh. It got to the point
where the singer, John Kay, was the only member
left. Yeah, and they used to say that, too. John
Kay of Steppenwolf. And they made it worse. It
was John Kay and Steppenwolf. That's right, and
Steppenwolf. So he was the only member of Steppenwolf,
but he wanted to be solo, and he called his backup
band Steppenwolf. Yeah. Which was a total lie.
And it struck me at the time. I was a little
kid at the time seeing that thing. Well, this
is just wrong. It's John Kay of Steppenwolf plus
these other guys. But to call them John K. and...
I forgot about that. They used to say and Steppenwolf.
Yeah, that was a slap in the face. It really
was. And it made the whole band Steppenwolf seem
like they were irrelevant, unnecessary, disposable,
don't pay any attention to... That's pretty much
what he was saying. You don't care. Trust me.
You don't care. So, all right. What guitarist
from classic rock can still play like he used
to? That's a hard question, but I've got one.
I'd say Brian May can still play like that. Paul
Stanley. Yeah. He's still a really good guitarist.
He's not a lead guitarist, but he still can do
everything he used to. Yeah. He's really, he
sounds great. He's precise. I wouldn't put Joe
Perry in that category. I don't think he can
play like he used to. No, no. I wished he could,
but I saw some video later on, and he cannot.
Mark Knopfler of Dire Straits. Slash. Slash.
Zach Wilde. Zach Wilde, definitely, especially
now that he's sober. Jakey Lee cannot, but that's
medical, both of them. I mean, he was shot almost
to death and also arthritis. Alex Lifeson retired
from Rush because he said his hand was messed
up and he couldn't play anymore, but I guess
he got the special illegal stem cells because
now he's playing like he always had before. Yeah,
he did the Eddie Van Halen, Tony Iommi deal,
I think, went to Germany and had something done.
Yeah, the ritualistically murdered Christian
Babies. Yes. You know, souls are condemned to
Satan, and then they use the stem cells to heal
these rock and rollers. Of course, they have
to sell their soul to Satan as well. Yeah, allegedly.
Yeah. But in that order, too. That happens in
that order exactly. I'm going to say, yeah, those
ones right there. Let me think. There's probably
more that we're not thinking of. Yeah. Not Ted
Nugent. No, I think Steve Vai. Steve Vai could
probably, yeah, I can see he could still play.
Phil Collin. Phil Collin could definitely play.
I heard him play recently. He's still fucking
insane. And that would not be Phil Collins. No,
not the drummer from Genesis. Yeah, yeah. The
guitar player from Dead Leopard. Yeah, he's not
very good at guitar, the drummer. No, no. All
right. Okay, so my next one is a little bit different.
Okay. Is terrestrial radio dead? Yeah, for the
most part, yeah. It's dead, but it's in a different
fashion. I'll go into that here in a little bit.
It seems a lot of it's niche anymore. It is,
exactly. But, yeah, I mean, as far as I, when
I get in the car, I can turn on the radio, but
as soon as it goes into commercial break. I'm
changing channels and stations to try to find
some music or something else. And if I can't
find it, then I'll just go to YouTube. I've got
a USB drive stuck in with a bunch of my music
recorded on it. I just go to that. But I am unwilling
to put up with commercial radio long enough to
hear the songs because the commercials are so
annoying. And the music is predictable too. Right.
Everything that... The 101 the Fox plays, I've
heard those songs at least 50 times. And I liked
them the first couple of times, and now I'm just
bored to death with them. So they pretty much
play nothing I want to hear. Yeah, and also they
play it several times a day. They're not bashful
about it. If they like a song, they'll play it
four times a day. Sirius XM channels are kind
of the same way. You go to their classic rewind
or classic vinyl, and you hear the same song
two or three times in a day. I used to depend
on those because they were so good. Now they're
just not putting any effort or time into it,
no money into it. It's just like, well, we know
these songs work. We've already got it set up.
Just let's put this on autopilot and go away
and make our money elsewhere. Yeah, yep. All
right, will new forms of advertising be the key
for FM radio to survive or even thrive? And one
of the ways is, I already spoke about this before,
but I'm sitting here and I'm listening to Chuck
Nasty on the way home. I had to come back from
Harrisonville for something. I forgot what. So
I had a little radio time in front of me. So
I'm sitting there listening to it. And I look
down and it says, The Nasty Man presented by
Downey Softener. close song yeah i'm like what
so and before that is like mike's got this yeah
i see that yeah where they used to show the artist
and the the name of the song scrolling across
the radio now it's just advertising yeah so they
get it they get money from that yeah and i think
and like i said like whenever you pause a video
on a show on any type of an amazon product the
first thing they do they had a this morning they
had cocoa loops which is food loops only cocoa
loops And they showed you how much the price
was discounted on Amazon that you could order
by clicking your arrow button right then. Yeah,
or they'll throw a QR code up and say, scan this
QR code and order it now. I think radio's going
about that. Yeah, I don't think it's going to
work, but they're definitely going that way.
They're going to try. Another thing that I've
heard that there was an idea was to have encrypted
FM radio signals so you could say anything you
want. and then the people would have the decrypter
in their radio itself. It's like, okay, well,
I radio decrypted so I can hear them say fucking
shit and all that kind of stuff on FM radio.
That would be a buzz for a couple of years, but
then people get tired of that. Yeah, you can
already get that on, you know. all sorts of other
places without having another subscription or
a special thing installed in your radio. I want
to try and experiment. Okay, this is a podcast,
right? Yeah. Okay, let's see if we get censored.
Okay. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. I don't think
we got censored at all. Cool. I didn't see any
little pixelation start. I didn't either. They
didn't pixelate your face or anything. All right,
good, good. So yeah, having to buy an extra little
thing for your radio and pay another subscription
just so you can hear them cussing on FM radio,
I don't think it's going to work. No, I don't
either. A little too little, a little too late.
It's easier to get it somewhere else. I listen
to stations online more than on the air. Do most
people do this now? I think so. I think so too.
Because the internet works. reliably, anywhere
and everywhere, an AM or FM radio signal, you've
got to have it positioned right. If the weather's
different, you might not get the signal. If there's
something else nearby, it might block the signal.
It's just too iffy. I agree. Yep. You know, people,
if they're going to invest in something, you
know, invest in subscription money and the time
to watch or listen, they want it to be ready
when they're ready. Yeah. They don't want to
sit around and wait for their content to be ready
for them. Yeah, you're right. Yeah. All right.
Is there any more true outrage protest music?
No. Nope. It's gone. No. Nobody cares. No. Anything
labeled as protest music is designed to be sold
and make money. Yes. That's it. Yeah. And they
will tell you all about it. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.
This is kind of an odd question, but I love it.
Have all the wounded poets in the world gotten
soft? Eddie Vedder, Bono, so on. Yeah. They don't
care anymore. They're fat and happy. Yeah. Yeah.
They quit their crusades pretty early, didn't
they? It's pretty much standard procedures. You
know, once they start making money and have something
to lose, they change their tune, especially since
everyone around them now has something to lose
too. Yes. You know, so imagine... You've got
your social outrage and you're out there expressing
your opinions and your views and it makes you
$10 million this year. And suddenly the people
who depend on you, like the production crew,
your record label, your family, just all of them
is like, hey, don't fuck this up, man. Suddenly
everything's great, don't fuck this up. So now
you've got incentive to do what you need to do
to keep making money, whereas before you were
just expressing yourself and it happened to catch
on. All right. I like that. You're right. All
right. And finally, what old rock star still
looks cool and somewhat young? John Kravitz is
my vote. Hello, this is Phineas J. Valtaris III.
I'm here to deliver your music news this evening.
Faith No More and Mr. Bungle lead singer Mike
Patton was falsely identified as a sexual predator
in Ohio. A person that has Mike's same name confused
Google AI and then identified the singer as the
predator. Mike Patton, the singer, is working
on getting the false information scrubbed off
the internet. This is only the tip of the iceberg.
This is Phineas J. Baltar S. III. That has been
your music news for this evening. I have one
burning question for you all. Do people really
skip around the Maypole? He looks fantastic.
He really does. He still looks pretty dang good.
God, there was somebody from the 70s that I saw
the other day that still looked really... Sean
Cassidy, the photo I just pulled up, yeah. Yeah.
I think Billy Idol still looks pretty dang good.
He does. For being a heroin addict in an almost
fatal bike accident, he did pretty fucking good.
Yeah. He didn't, I mean, look what happened to
Gary Busey. Oh. Yeah. Yeah, that old closed head
wound, not so good on him. Yeah. But he does
like buttered sausage, so, you know, buttered
sausage is the shit, right? All right. That's
all of the bullet points that I had. All right.
You got something? I'm embarrassed to say I'm
pretty light on content today. Okay, that's okay.
All right. Let's go into the concert fiascos.
Oh, gosh. Okay. As people know that listen to
the Douchebag Show, I'm extremely unhappy at
the concert situation again. And it was going
to be a surprise to you, Topher. I'm sorry. You
were going to go with me. Val didn't want to
go. And so I had two tickets to Glenn Hughes
and Knuckleheads on a Wednesday night. And it
was going to be fun. Yeah, it was going to be
fucking fantastic, man. See, man, really to me,
one of the best guys in the business ever. He
had his problems, but man, that guy could still
sing as good as he ever could. I mean, it's just,
it's amazing what he can do at like 74, 75. Davey
Nassau, Nashville 2021. He was just going off
the charts with his fucking falsetto. He's the
type of guy you can put a candle in front of
his face and he won't blow it out. He sings from
the diaphragm. He's a true singer. Good voice
control, breath control. Yeah, and also a fantastic
bass player. We were going to go watch this,
but... Before it even barely got off the ground,
it got canceled due to a minor medical issue.
Allegedly. Allegedly. Yes. All right. So, all
right. Minor medical issue. All right. So be
it. How about a reschedule? Why just to cancel?
Yeah, we have our theories. We think it didn't
sell very well. That's our opinion. Yeah, yeah.
That's what it smells like to me is that they
did the pre -sale to see how much big the interest
was, and it wasn't enough to reach the critical
number, so they just pretended there's an illness
and canceled the whole thing. Yeah, it happens
all the time. That's why it's canceled and not
rescheduled or postponed, per se. So, again,
they have your money. Again, good luck getting
it back. Just like the last time I tried to see
Glenn Hughes over in Sedalia a couple years ago,
and it was rained out. This wasn't his fault
by any means. It was rained out. But did I see
my money back on that? Fuck no. So this is where
I'm getting to now to where I'm so sick of the
concert industry, I'm never buying another ticket
again. I'm fucking sick of them stealing our
money. I'm sick of them having an alleged concert
that may not happen, and they know that. They
know this when they do it. And they act like,
oh, yeah, yeah, they're coming to Kansas City.
You better grab your ticket. Then when nobody
does, nobody bites, they're like, oh, wait a
minute, he broke his foot, whatever. Yeah. Some
bullshit like that. Some member of the band has
COVID. Yeah. Which is what the excuse they used
a few years back. Yeah. To cancel the tour that
wasn't making money. Yeah. But to me, I'm tired
of that. So what I'm going to do is I'm just
not going anymore. I'm fucking sick of it. I'm
tired of it. I'm not doing it anymore. Yeah.
They stole enough money for me, in my opinion.
Yeah. And, you know, it reminds me so much of
the way sports teams do their stadium deal. It's
like, you put up all the money in advance, and
then we'll think about giving you what we promised
you. Yeah. But we want to see all your money.
You take all the risk. You take all the chances.
And then if it works out best for us, then, you
know, maybe. But the artist is taking zero chance.
And we're taking... The reason they started pre
-selling in the first place was so we would be
the bankroll for their tour. Instead of taking
out a loan or using some of their own saved money,
they'd say, okay, we'll just gamble with the
money people are going to spend on tickets. So
at that point, they would try to sell enough
to bankroll the tour. Now they're trying to sell
enough to see whether the tour is even going
to be economically viable. And if they don't
reach the targets in the selected cities, it's
like, no, the whole thing's done. Yeah. Forget
it. Yep. So I'm done with them. I'm never doing
it again. I don't care if Ozzy himself fucking
jumped back up alive and said, oh, I'm going
to play Kansas City. I'm going to go now. No,
I don't think so. Yeah. Yeah. I've had a few
concerts canceled on me, but I've also had a
number where I get there and then I can't see
a thing because I'm not physically capable of
standing for the entire show. But the people
who are decide to block my view. Yeah, and nothing's
done about it either. Yeah. So, you know, if
that's the way they want it, okay. My response
is it's not worth the money to me anymore, so
I'm not going to do it. No. And I don't think
they're going to miss my money at all. They don't
care. They don't care. They don't even want us
there because we're not going to buy $300 worth
of drinks in a box. Yeah, and that's the way
the sports attendance is going. Like the new
Chiefs Stadium, the new Bills Stadium, the new
Cleveland Stadium. They don't want to fill it
with the same old season ticket holders that
only spend $50, $75 a week. They want the people
in there who are going to spend $300, $400, $500
a week at least. And that's the PSL holders because
they have money to spend thousands, just two.
have the right to buy tickets. It's like when
the Eagles go on tour and the tickets start at
$1 ,500 is because they don't give a shit if
I can afford it. They want wealthy people in
the seat so they can sell them a bunch more stuff.
And that's all there is to it. Perjo Walsh is
selling his whole guitar collection. And they
won't give him a scrap. Bastards. No, he is.
He really is selling his guitar collection. Also,
another problem is they hold back tickets. A
significant point of contention has been the
number of tickets that are not made available
to the general public. Investigations have found
that a large percent of the tickets, sometimes
over 50 % of them, are held back for insiders,
fan club pre -sales. credit card companies and
other outlets, which creates a perception of
scarcity and drives up demand and resale prices.
Especially since everything is going to their
flexible pricing. Yeah, their dynamic pricing.
So they're going to inflate, they're going to
falsely claim that the demand is high, and then
they'll raise the prices. And they do this by
holding back tickets. They go, well, everything's
almost gone. Look, we only have like 100 seats
left. But that's of the seats that you didn't
hold back. Yeah. But they'll never tell you that.
It's like the business that's been going out
of business for 10 years now. Yeah. Going out
of business sale, everything must go. Yeah. Well,
you said that 12 years ago. Yeah. It's like,
go ahead and go out of business. It's fine. I
got everything from you I wanted. So the lack
of transparency, the process of accessing and
consolidating ticket data can be complex to the
ticketing systems that they make like that through
Ticketmaster and Access and what have you. make
it difficult and inconvenient to try to get a
refund or a credit or something, and people will
just give up. It's only $30, forget it. Yeah,
and it's purposely, in my opinion, it's purposely
done like that. And I would bet that some concerts,
they know they're going to get off the ground,
but they're going to wink, wink, try it. And
then when it does, it's like, okay, you got COVID,
right? Yeah, okay, well, we're going to have
to cancel. And all the sales tax that was collected,
you don't get that back. No, you don't get that
back either. It's a big fucking racket. And for
that, they'll never see me again at another concert.
Unless it's free. Then I'll go. Well, Rob's going
to pay for Triumph and April Wine, so I will
probably be there, but that's going to be the
only one. That's it. So, okay, Ozzy's death,
right? Yeah. Okay. iTunes have never had this
done before. The top 10 songs, this is about
a month ago, were all Ozzy songs on iTunes. Wow.
Yeah, isn't that something? Who would have thought
that that guy would be so popular? And he said
to himself after his back -to -the -beginning
concert, he said, I had no idea so many people
loved me. He really didn't. He really didn't.
Very humble guy. Really good guy. So the top
iTunes since Ozzy's passing says, number one,
Mama, I'm Coming Home. That's for obvious reasons.
I mean, you know, it was a good song and everything,
but if he didn't just pass away, it wouldn't
be number one. Number two, Crazy Train. That's
his signature every stadium in America go get
them song. Number three, No More Tears, which
might be his most prolific song ever played.
The most well -known and accepted in all genres.
Yeah. It's a masterpiece, too. It's written so
well. And it's dynamically recorded so well.
So, you know, number four, Paranoid. Yeah. Number
five, Iron Man. Yeah. Number six, War Picks.
Mm -hmm. Number seven, Changes. Oh, okay. Old
Aussie, well, it's a Sabbath ballad from... Master
of Reality, maybe, I think. Anyhow, whatever
it is. Number eight, Close My Eyes Forever. That's
the one I've been hearing a lot with Lita Ford.
With Lita Ford. That was a great song. And lyrically,
that really fits in. It means more now that he's
passed. Like, Mom, I'm Coming Home. Yeah. Number
nine, This Was Odd, Dreamer. Oh, yeah. Dreamer
was not a big hit. No, it wasn't. It's a great
song. It was never a big hit. It never even sniffed
the charts. It's number nine. And number ten,
Shot in the Dark. And I love Shot in the Dark
and the Ultimate Sin album all together because
this is where Jakey Lee started really, really
doing his own thing. At first, he had to shred
some... You know, I mean, like Rock and Roll
Rebel and Mark at the Moon. He had to shred a
certain amount on there to show, like, hey, I
am a very comparable, you know, I am somewhere
in the ballpark of Randy Rhoads. Look. So on
the ultimate set, he's like, all right, I showed
him what I can do. Now I'm going to play music.
Yeah. I'm going to play what fits the song. He
had Flash in there. He had Fasta. He had some
finger tapping. He had harmonics. He played the
song like it was supposed to be. And so I'm glad
that Shot in the Dark's on there because I felt
like that song and that whole album did not get
enough credit. It was at a weird time in music
where glam was huge. And anybody that's actually
writing songs really wasn't doing that well.
You know, like Pink Floyd wouldn't have been
big back then. No. Because at that time. And
that's because they weren't flashy. Yeah, the
attitude was kind of different about... what
was cool to listen to. And I remember a lot of
artists and their fans being kind of pitying
and looking down and saying, oh, aren't they
cute that they're still around. Yes, yeah, yeah,
they were. Aerosmith was like that until they
got with Run DMC and then Walk This Way. Yeah,
there's a lot of bands. Even Alice Cooper was
looked at like that in the early 80s. They're
kind of like, yeah, he was cool, but we have
Kiss now. Yeah, yeah. There was when Alice got
through rehab the second time in like 83, 84.
And then in 85, he put a band together and released
that album, started touring. And I remember seeing
a picture of him in a magazine with this band.
And the caption said, forgotten but not gone.
And at that time, that was true. It was true.
And it would be another four years before he
made his really big comeback in 1989 with Trash.
Yeah, Trash, yeah, Poison. That was on the next
one, Hey Stupid. But the Trash album, he had
a lot of guests on. He had Steven Tyler, he had
Jon Bon Jovi, he had Slash, he had a number of
people guest on that album. So it was like kind
of an all -star album. Yeah, that's right. Was
Burning Our Bed on that one? On Trash? I can't
remember. I have to look it up. I hardly ever
listen to Trash because I think Hey Stupid deserves
to be a little better album. Yeah, I think so
too. It's got Feed My Frankenstein on it. Yeah,
that's a great song. Local kid with a twisted
mind. Yeah, that's great. Oh, no, no, no, no.
That was Feel My Frankenstein. Yeah. No, Teenage
Frankenstein. Yeah, Teenage Frankenstein. The
local creep with a twisted mind. The Feed My
Frankenstein was all about sex. Yes, that's it.
That was from Wayne's World. Yeah, that's right.
Yeah. Okay. Thank you. Yeah. All right. You want
to hear some... You know what? Let's go into
the Karen is cancelled. Oh, yeah. Yeah, do you
know that Karen is cancelled? I didn't because
I just heard the term kamikaze Karen the other
day. I love that. I am going to figure that out,
and I'm going to talk about that one of these
days. I love that. Okay, meet her younger, sassier
cousin who's entitled, abrasive, and also wants
to speak to your manager. That would be encouragement
canceled, but now we have Jessica. Enter Jessica.
So this fresh -faced version of the infamous
boomer -baiting manager -requested object of
desertion, her name is Jessica. This younger
sassier cousin original is quickly becoming shorthand
for women found guilty by online mob of entitled,
abrasive, or just plain annoying behavior. On
social media, the Jessica mentions are piling
up fast. from pantagonia quarter -sized zip sporting
moms who complain that they look homeless today
that would be the classic jessica to the kind
of people who ruin everything with their unknowingly
irritating behavior and that would be the atypical
jessica and then it goes that would be the not
today jessica get it out of here yeah tick tock
uh found a new punching bag but why jessica why
now the now malign moniker is an old One that
came from Yiddish. It's Yiska. Yiska. Yiska.
And she was Abraham's niece mentioned in the
book of Genesis. Much later hitting Western culture
with a bang thanks to Shakespeare's The Merchant
of Venice. Where Jessica is her daughter of the
infamous Shylock. Oh, okay. Yeah. Scholars say
it means foresight or to behold through the end.
Some argue it could mean wealth or gift. So at
least this Jessica came from somewhere where
I don't think Karen did. No, no. I think Karen
just sounded like a name of a mom that was obnoxious.
Yeah, yeah. But I was really surprised that the
name Jessica was that firmly planted in history.
Yeah. That they actually thought about it and
said, no, no, no, this person can't be so -and
-so or so -and -so. This person's a Jessica.
Isn't it interesting that of all the memes and
examples I've seen of Karens and now Jessicas,
I can't think of a single one where the woman
wasn't white. They never specifically say, but
when they talk about Karens, it's just kind of
understood it's an entitled, obnoxious white
woman. I wonder in the black culture if there's
a black Karen. I don't think so. I don't know.
I've never heard of anything like that, no. Well,
they just call it like, oh, that bitch is annoying,
and go on. Where white people have to have a
moniker like, well, what are we going to call
her? I don't know, Jessica? Okay. Quit being
such a Karen. Yes. Quit being such a Jessica.
Yeah, where black people generally are like,
that is one stupid bitch over there. Yeah, that's
a stupid bitch over there. So, all right. That's
all of that one. I just thought that was interesting.
Yeah. Okay, so, you know the younger generation.
I find it ironic that younger folks out there
that are so concerned about the environment and
their personal health and fitness, that they
were concerned, and rightfully so, about nano
and microplastics. Yeah. It is concerning because
they're in all our cells. They're all throughout
the earth. We can't get rid of them. We don't
know if they're man -made or natural. We don't
know anything really about them or exactly what
they do to you. Yeah, yeah, that's the long -term
effects. We're all part of the test group. Yeah,
and they did do some testing, and they did identify
that these plastics do get in your arteries and
help clog them. So that's one thing, one thing
right there. Our diets, too, and our lack of
exercise. That's one thing that could be going
on with the heart disease and maybe even cancer
that they don't know anything about yet, but
they might find out. So the z -ers and millennials
with all the strong opinions are falling for
these viral trends. This TikTok video shows people
how to microwave and grill hot dogs still in
the plastic wrappers. Okay then. Yeah, still
in the plastic wrappers. So the plastic will
melt on one's hot dogs. Right? Agreed? Yeah.
It becomes part of the hot dog, right? And it's
chemically changed by the heat into all sorts
of chemical bizarre combinations. Yep. The most
common way is grilling in a microwave. And the
reason for this is it's supposed to marinate
the hot dogs in their own juices, which you can
do yourself in a pot. Yeah. You add a little
bit of water, all the juice in the hot dog bag,
and you get the same thing. But people are cheap.
Yeah. So, the problem is the toxins in the plastic
release when it's being seared. Yeah. So, I forgot.
This was for the douchebags, and I was going
to go, Rob, this sounds like a job for New Guy.
New Guy, get over here, bitch, and explain this.
Have you heard New Guy yet? Yep. Yeah, he hates
us. He hates us. Well, there you go. New Guy.
I better save this. Okay. Yeah. New Guy's going
to explain it, but not on this. It's also interesting
that... You see people who are so convinced about
certain vaccines being loaded with sorts of weird,
gross chemicals and medical experiments, and
they strongly object to taking a vaccine. You
don't know what's in it. But I notice a lot of
these people are tattooed, and there is pretty
much zero regulation on tattooing. There could
be just about anything in that. So honestly,
they're like, don't stick me with that vaccine,
but go ahead and inject all that, who knows what
it is, ink under my skin that I'll keep forever.
I'm used to know a lot of tattooists, and I know
that they do stuff like they use ash to spread
the ink out further. And you can't use too much
of it. It'll dull it. It'll dull the color. But
you can use a certain amount of it to stretch
out your ink more. And then there's other things
that you can do too that I'm not aware of. So
I'm sure there's things in there besides just
stuff that they put in ink all together. Yeah,
yeah. I mean, you could have the same person
go to their doctor and the doctor says, everything
that's in this vaccine is safe. And they'll say,
I don't believe you. And then they'll go to their
tattoo parlor and the tattoo artist will say,
everything in this ink is safe. And they'll go,
okay, I believe you. Sure, I believe you, whatever
you say. So they'll take some people's word for
it. If it's something they already agree with
in advance anyway. Yes. Yeah, they fit the narrative
that they want to is what it is. Or you go to
a fast food place and they send you out what's
supposed to be a chocolate shake. You have no
idea what's in there. You're just taking their
word for it. That's true. You think it's a chocolate
shake. But suddenly you trust them, but you don't
trust this other person. Exactly. I'd really
like to know how they decide. It's like, no,
you're lying, but yeah, you're telling me the
truth. Really? You know what I think? I don't
get it. I think people tend to hit fever pitches
when something is suggested to them. Yeah. So
I could come up and there's three people here
and I go, you know that they tested the vaccines
over in Europe and three people died automatically?
It gave them like heart seizure, you know. And
it turned a dozen kids gay. Yes. And they're
like, oh, I believe it. Yeah. You suggest something
in the right manner and people will eat it up.
And that's what's been going on. Look at the
TikTok trend. Yeah, grilling your hot dogs in
the plastic. But these same people are worried
about the environment and the nanoplastics. It's
like my oldest brother Mark went on a geology
field trip many, many years ago, and they came
across some rocks that are just naturally radioactive.
It's a low -level radiation, but they brought
them home and stuck them in the dorm room. And
the gal across the hall refused to ever walk
into the room because they had radioactive rocks
in there. So she'd stand down in the hallway
smoking cigarette after cigarette. She was getting
way more radiation from that tobacco than she
would have ever gotten from those rocks. I'll
just leave this like that. Somebody told her
to be excited about that and to worry about that,
so she did. I'm going to put that down in the
too -stupid -to -survive department. Yeah. You
know, we still need bears on the loose in cities.
Yeah. And mountain lions. That way, the dumb
people still die. Yeah. Yeah. It's like there
you are out wandering around in the woods, and
you see a mountain lion. You're like, come here,
Fluffy. Come here. Did he eat you? Well, there
you go. Gone. Come, guy stupid. Kind of along
those same lines. We're smart enough that if
we see a pack of really angry -looking dogs roaming
around, we're probably not going to get out of
our car and go mess with them. No, no. And if
we're driving through some safari park and there's
lions and hyenas and things... And tigers and
bears. Yeah, oh my. We're not going to get out
of our car and go mess with them. Yet... Person
after person thinks it's a good idea to go mess
with law enforcement while they're performing
some sort of law enforcement task. Whether you
agree with them or not, don't fucking do it.
It's a good way to get killed. See, I'm not going
to be on any side of any political debate. I'm
just going to say that you have a lot of rights
when interacting with law enforcement. But you
aren't going to get those rights unless the law
enforcement you're interacting with is completely
honest, completely on board, and not corrupt
at all. Which, not all of them are that way.
So, a hundred times out of a hundred, if you
don't mess with law enforcement, then you'll
have no problem. Guaranteed. But if you do mess
with law enforcement, there is a significant
chance that they're going to fuck up your whole
day and change your entire life. Not because
they have the right to do it, but they're going
to do it anyway. And they're probably going to
get away with it. So why be a kamikaze Karen,
go get radicalized, and go get in law enforcement's
face because you think it makes you look cool
to your friends? Yeah. They're going to hurt
you. They really are. They can't do it legally,
and they're probably not going to completely
get away with it, but it's still going to fuck
you up. And is it worth it? I don't think so.
And like the recent events speaks everything
right there. Look, I mean, all of it is in the...
And I'm not saying she is right or wrong. I'm
not going into any of that. But what I'm saying
is that's in the fuck around and find out department.
Definitely. Don't be in that department. So it
happens. You know, if you walk up to the zoo
and you're poking a stick at this wild animal...
and he gets pissed off and comes after you, then
you fucked around. It shouldn't kill you. It
shouldn't come after you. But you kind of made
it happen, didn't you? If you never poked it
with a stick, it would have left you alone. Well,
it was like the meme that I saw that was so funny
and is so true. I'm not making light of anybody's
death or nothing like that, but the lady in question
that we're briefly kind of talking about here,
it has a picture of that famous monkey that has
a stick and the lion sleeping. And he's getting
ready to come over there and smash it with it.
And it had her name. And it had Ice Agent on
the lion. And it's like, it's pretty much it
right there. Seriously, if you had asked her
in advance, is it worth dying to make your point
and get a little bit of fame? Because that's
what other people say. Well, it's important.
You've got to make the point. We've got to stand
up. Well, she died. Yeah. It's not worth it to
her. It's absolutely not worth it to her anymore.
Is that what everybody wanted? They wanted somebody
else. Hello, this is Phineas J. Altaris III.
I'm here to deliver your music news this evening.
We have some sad news for everybody. Bob Weir,
the co -founder and guitarist for The Grateful
Dead, has passed away at the age of 78. Bob,
we hope you're grateful, because you're definitely
dead. Rest in peace, Mr. Weir. This is Phineas
J. Baltar S. III. That has been your music news
for this evening. I have one burning question
for you all. Do people really skip around the
Maypole? Somebody else to die. That's the thing.
The people who are cheering the situation on
are the ones that wanted somebody else to die
for the cause. Yeah. So I got this to congratulations,
you're a martyr. Enjoy your fucking dirt nap.
Yeah. Yeah, that's it. You can be a dead murder
all day long if you want, and that's what happened
here. It just seems like a ridiculous waste that
this woman was born, got all through childhood,
adolescence, all her education, got jobs, got
married, had kids, and then threw it all away
because somebody said, hey, go get up law enforcement's
ass and we'll videotape it. Yeah, yes. What a
bad choice. yeah i and i'm not so sure some other
people closer should not be charged yeah because
it looked to me like it was a joint effort there
yeah and so and you know i've seen a lot of videos
where people demonstrate you know if you're pulled
over in a traffic stop here's what you're entitled
to you don't have to roll your window down more
than an inch you know the they can't make you
get out of the car unless they expect that there's
a weapon in the car. It's on and on and on and
on. And another one where people were standing
in public with their phones videoing a police
station, which is completely legal, but the cops
still came out and harassed him and tried to
bluff and bully him. But in all these videos,
the person narrating says, you know... Keep in
mind that even though you have these rights and
they can't legally do this to you, they will
anyway. Yeah. They will put you to the ground,
pepper spray you, handcuff you, take you to the
station, and throw your ass in the holding cell
and let you sit there for five or six hours.
Yeah. They can't make it stick, but they'll do
it anyway because they're mad at you. Yeah. So
do you really want to go do that? Yeah. Think
about it. Yeah. Is it worth making your point?
and then having that all happen to you or possibly
getting killed the way some people do. Well,
you know, I'm not in the afterlife like she is
now, but, I mean, I'm pretty sure she probably
wanted stuff to be around the earth on longer.
That's not going to happen because she believed
the narrative. Yeah. I mean, there's some things
worth standing up and risking your life for,
but I really don't think this was one of those
situations. I'll put it like this. Do you think
you can believe in your cause all you want? You
can believe that ice shouldn't be there? bothering
people and trying to round up people okay that's
fine i i hear what you're saying and i understand
it you don't go over there and harass intimidate
or bully or anything a government agent with
weapons that's simple yeah and keep in mind the
constitution says peaceful assembly and peaceful
Yes, you don't try to run them over. You don't
say words, you don't throw things, you don't
call them names. That's not peaceful. That is
hostile, that's aggressive, and that's confrontational.
And law enforcement has been taught exactly how
to respond to that, and they will respond as
if you're armed, because as far as they know
you are. It's just not worth it. Once you whip
a car around and you get somebody. and you're
not stopping, that means that you might be liable
to, you might be very easily capable of doing
something like that to someone else. So right
there, the officer has a clear shot if he wants.
It kind of reminds me of the situation where
someone will taunt and torture and abuse a dog
to the point where it bites and then say, look,
see, this dog is just vicious. Oh, I hate that.
Yeah. No, you turned it into that. Yes. You set
up the situation where that was going to happen,
so don't act like you're the completely blameless
victim here. Yeah, yep. Yeah. I'm not buying
it. Not from either side. No, uh -uh. This was
such a stupid and ugly mess, completely unnecessary,
and nobody is benefiting from this. A woman is
dead, and all sorts of... mess is happening and
the people who want us divided and fighting each
other are the only ones really benefiting. There's
no good going to come out of this. None whatsoever.
A woman is dead now and that's about all you
can say about it. Yeah, and that's it. Didn't
do anything for anything. All it did was help
divide stuff more. So congratulations. You're
a martyr that helped divide the country even
more. So there you go. And even if something
does change and improve, well, you're dead. You're
never going to know it. You'll never experience
it. You could have hung around and reaped the
benefits, but nope, you're dead now. Nope, not
so. All right. How long have we got? We got an
hour and 35. All right. Do you want to keep going
or? Oh, wait. I don't have my readers on. Oh,
okay. Do you want to keep going? I don't have
anything else, so if you've got something, we
can keep going. Okay, I've got famous, well,
not famous, but interesting sound effects that
were used in songs. Oh, cool. Yeah. Alright,
Pink Floyd is famous for incorporating real -world
sounds like cash registers on money, and blocks
on time, and submarine pings, whale sounds, from
modified instruments and echoes. Yeah, I remember
that. So Pink Floyd has done all of these, so
we go to this. Metallica, for whom the bell tolls.
The bell is actually an anvil being struck with
a hammer, mixed with a stock bell sound. So they
used a bell sound that they already had in stock,
a stock sound that they already had stored, and
they mixed it with an actual anvil being struck
with a hammer. The Beatles' I Am the Walrus features
a chaotic radio broadcast of Shakespeare's King
Lear. Oh, okay. Yeah, I've heard of... Radio
broadcast in the background of that one. I never
had any idea what it was. It was so clear in
the background that you couldn't really tell.
And that's probably intentional because they
didn't have to pay rights for it. Yeah, I'm sure.
And that's how come it was like such a scratchy
sound. You know, a chaotic radio broadcast, like
you said, they don't have to pay any royalties.
Yeah. Electric Light Orchestra, or ELO. Mr. Blue
Sky, a fire extinguisher is hit with drumsticks
for percussion films. Oh, I think I know the
sound they're talking about. I think I do, too.
There's a metallic clank. Yeah, and I think I
even wondered what the fuck that was. They have
one on here that is not on here that bothers
me, though, and that is Eddie Van Halen and the
drill. Yeah. Yeah, a hand drill. The pound cake
was the song. There's another Pink Floyd song
where they had a dog howling throughout most
of the song called Seamus. Oh, yeah, yeah. I
think they covered Pink Floyd like they did because
there's so many. There's so many, yeah, yeah.
Queens of the Stone Age. We all know that lovable,
almost grudge band from Seattle. Yeah. All right.
Millionaire uses a car starting and a door slamming.
Okay, I'll take their word on it. I don't know
what it is. Yeah, of course, Kiss did that with
Detroit Rock City. Yeah, yeah, and they even
have Gene Simmons mumbling, I want to rock and
roll all night, singing along to it on the way
there before the wreck. I know what you're talking
about, yeah. Yeah, he turns it on and he's going...
There's, let's see, there's an Alice Cooper song
called Alma Mater, where it starts with a rain
sound. and they just dropped a couple of Alka
-Seltzer in a glass of water and then slowed
the playback speed. Oh, I love that. Yeah. It's
instant water. Very instant rain. That's cool.
Jethro Tull Incorporated sounds like a loon call
in Wheat Kings. A loon. Interesting. Yeah. Like,
I don't know how they got a loon call. Out in
nature. Yeah, I guess just stick a recorder out
in nature and wait. I guess. All right. And modified
instruments, it didn't really say what. They
use a lot of modified instruments to make different
sounds in their songs, so whatever. All right.
10AC had a device called Gizmotron. Uh -huh.
Have you ever heard of an instrument called the
Hurdy Gurdy? Yeah, I think so. Yeah, it's a stringed
instrument. You play it by one hand, you turn
a crank, and that makes these rubberized wheels
spin around. And then you press down on these
keys that press the rubberized wheel into various
strings. So it's kind of like a violin sound,
but it's not a violin. It looks more like a lute
or a weird -ass guitar. But it gives this droning
odd quality to it. Well, Tim CC thought, let's
do this with a guitar. Oh, nice. So they bolted
the guitar to a wall so it was hanging vertically
and then bolted the device to the bridge and
had an electric drill with a rubber wheel that
was spinning. And they would just press it on
various strings. I love that. And they used it
on a number of songs and they listed the credits
as Gizmotron. But, you know, it sounded pretty
cool and it was pretty interesting, but shortly
after they invented it and were trying to work
on a marketable version of it, it was completely
surpassed by synthesizers who could easily make
that sound without the contraption. There wasn't
anything special about that. All you had to do
was turn the dial to the right patch and press
the keys and you're done. All right, there's
a couple ones that I don't know who the band
is, Godspeed U. Okay, so let's go on past that.
How about Black Sabbath Sweet Leaf? Ah. That
someone recorded Tony Iommi coughing after hitting
a bomb. And it's funny because you don't smoke
the leaf. No. You smoke the fire buds. That's
right. Still called Sweet Leaf, I guess. Let's
see. There's a Sex Pistols song called EMI. Yeah.
Because they really hated their previous label,
EMI. Yeah. And at the end of the song, Johnny
Rotten turns around and farts in the microphone.
I believe it. It's just a little squeaker. I
believe it. Dead Kennedy's most famous song,
Too Drunk to Fuck. Yes. At the end of the song,
you can hear him vomiting in a toilet in the
next room. And he actually made himself vomit
and recorded it. The best punk band name ever.
Yes, the Dead Kennedys. Oh. All right. Judas
Priest, metal gods, distorted utensils tossed
on a tray creating a marching feet sound. Oh,
I can see that, yeah. Yeah, so he's just doing
utensils on a train. It sounds like marching
feet. And then finally, Ian Anderson, Jethro
Tull, gulping and hailing air while playing a
flute on locomotive breath. Oh, yeah, because
in between notes you hear him go... What a name
of a locomotion breath. He had a great name.
That's a funky -ass song, too. It is. Isn't that
the, in the shuffle in madness, locomotive breath,
runs the all -time loser, headlong to his death.
Yeah, it's, let's see. Then he's got the flute
in there, and it's like, where did that flute
come from, but I love it. And I always misunderstood
the chorus, but he's saying, God has stole the
handle of the train and won't stop going, no
way to slow down. Oh, is that what it says? I
thought it was saying, no, he couldn't slow down.
But he's saying, no way to slow down. Yeah, it
does sound like no way he could slow down. Yeah.
Okay. Once I saw the lyrics written down, I was
like, oh, I guess that is what he's saying. Cool.
Oh, this is sports. Okay. But, I mean, I wanted
to get into it and I forgot. We were going on
two hours. Yeah. All right. Nick Sirianni and
Brown, their receiver. Yeah. I forgot his first
name. Is it A .J.? A .J. Brown, yeah. Okay, Nick
Sirianni and A .J. Brown in a heated argument,
but this was different. I know Kelsey and Reed
has had a couple of spats where they run into
each other and say something. Every time, the
non -aggressor turned around and didn't address
it. Both of them were turned around yelling at
each other actively. So what do you get of that?
Do you think there's internal strife there? Yeah,
I would say the receiver was pissed because the
offense just fell off a cliff and was being nothing.
Yeah, because they weren't doing anything, and
he was frustrated. Well, why are we doing these
plays? They're not working. Yeah, yeah. in order
to maintain his career and his fame and his other
opportunities, he needs to be catching balls,
being talked about, racking up stats, et cetera.
And when you're basically sidelined for no good
reason and the coach just is doing nothing about
it, and maybe he's got incentive clauses in his
contract, and they're like, yeah, you ain't catching
enough passes this year to reach anywhere close
to that, it can get pretty aggravating. It's
like, you brought me here, you set me up, and
now you're ignoring me. and I can't do anything,
I might as well not even be here. And a lot of
those players, they don't want to just sit around
and collect a paycheck. They want to go out and
play and accomplish stuff. No, he wants to win.
He's got a taste of winning, and he wants more,
but they're a one and done. They're not going
to be a repeat. What the Chiefs did a couple
years ago is not the normal. Yeah. I think a
lot of the players, the vast majority of players
now in the NFL and entering the NFL. realize
that the NFL is not what's going to make their
fortune. It's going to open the door for what's
going to make their fortune. Yes. Where it used
to be, oh, sign the big NFL contract and you're
set for life. Not that way anymore. It's like
sign the big contract, meet the right people,
get these business opportunities, take your first
big high -paying contract, invest all that in
something else, just grow, grow, grow. When Mahomes
just come out of the box hot, he got every endorsement
around. Yeah. And the thing is, he's very personable.
He's a good -looking guy. He's very likable.
And also, I think the fact that he's biracial
helps, too. Yeah. I think both sides can identify.
Non -threatening to a lot of people. Yeah, non
-threatening. Yes, exactly. And I know you're
going, threatening in this day? Yes. Oh, yeah.
It still goes on. Yeah. There's probably a lot
of companies that are thanking their lucky stars
that they got Mahomes as an endorser. early in
his career when he didn't cost that much. Now
he's a lot pickier and he charges a lot more,
which is smart. But there are companies out there
like, damn, we were so lucky to get him. And
he gets his family involved in it too, which
is smart. You know, he could, okay, my kids get
this much for participating. There's a bank account
for him right there. And the more of those that
you do, the more that they're going to be set
up the rest of the life. They are anyhow. Yeah.
It'll be a great way to teach him about money
and how it works. When, all right, you got this
because you did this commercial when you were
three. Okay. And you got this because you did
this when you were five. And we have this right
here because we're going to need you to do this
later on in life. Yeah. So I think it's a great
way of what he's doing because they have that
new commercial that features all of them. Yeah.
His wife and kids. and i think that's a splendid
idea if you really if a company really wants
you to be their um endorser they'll go all right
we'll take all of my homes yeah yeah there are
a lot of companies where a family unit like that
would be very good for for image oh it's a great
idea i thought for i forgot what the particular
what they're selling but i think it's a great
idea because that just brings family into it
It's like, oh, look how beautiful she is. How
many kids did she have? How is that possible?
You know, all that good stuff. And they're like,
oh, that one, that one right there, that looks
like Patrick. That looks like Britton. You know,
it really, it's kind of an endearing thing, way
to do. And also it helps them out. I'm sure Taylor
Swift and Travis Kelsey aren't thinking along
these lines, but any children they have are going
to be. eminently exploitable for money. And there
are going to be people pushing them to do so.
I imagine Taylor and Travis are going to be a
little smarter about it than your average person.
I don't think they're going to bite on that.
Mahomes is one thing, but the fever pitch of
those two, they can't do that. They have children.
They've got to keep them way away. There are
people who are so fanatical that they... could
do all sorts of unthinkable things if you get
people too familiar with your kids and how they
look and what your routines are and where to
find you. I'm sure they're already, you know,
them being engaged and everything, I'm sure they're
already being fucking tutored on that too, going,
look guys, you're officially, you've been a huge
deal for a long time now, and this is traditionally
how some people get. there was a social media
mom i forget which platform or platforms she
was using but it basically every day she would
post content about herself and her daughter and
what they would do and how they get along and
you know clothes shopping and food and this just
kind of making a reality tv show with herself
and her little daughter who was like one and
a half two like that and then uh You know, the
years went by and the daughter was like five
or six. And there was a big bust of a child pornography
ring. And this woman's daughter was heavily represented
in the child porn collection. Oh, I think I remember
that. Yeah, she had no idea. She was like, where
did this come from? But you're posting these
pictures on public. People are going to download
them and jerk off looking at your little baby.
You've got to realize that that is a very real
possibility. And this woman was just horrified
and stunned and wanted something done. And it
was like, idiot, you're posting that publicly.
Are you really questioning that goes on? Yeah.
If you're questioning that goes on in this day
and age with Epstein files and all that, there's
something wrong with you. No kidding. And you
should not have children. So she was trying to
blame the social media platforms that they shouldn't
have let them. It's like anybody can download
or take a screenshot or what, and then nobody
knows what they do with it, do they? Could be
anything. Yeah, that's crazy, isn't it? So, I
mean, everyone's saying, do not put pictures
of your kid out there. Okay, all right, I think
we're going to probably wrap this up now. Yep,
like a steaming pile of something. Yeah, yeah,
something, definitely something. You can fill
in the blanks yourself. Yes. Hey, how we would
like to thank everybody for listening. Like we
were talking about, we're well over a million
downloads and really being very popular. We appreciate
everybody's support. You guys are doing so well.
Thank you all very much. And go fuck yourself.