Welcome again. We're happy you chose us. Come
on in. Wash yourself off. Would you enjoy a bourbon
and coke? There's a liquor store down the road.
If you go, I need rolling papers. Well, since
you're here, let's get this daily douchebag pledge
out of the way. All right, bitches, swing your
hips and pelvic thrust. Shout it out with me.
I, Joe or Jane Listener, promise to download
every podcast. I, Joe or Jane Listener, promise
to make... All friends, family members, and workmates
download the show. I, Joe or Jane Listener, promise
to grab idle computers, work computers, friends
computers, community computers, and other assorted
phones and listening devices and download the
show from there. I, Joe or Jane Listener, will
download the show and constantly barrage everyone
with show name and platforms. I, Joe or Jane
Listener, promise to wear a chicken costume and
scream the show's name from my front yard. And
finally, because of our 13 -year -old boy humor,
you must go to Knobloch Cooter Licking in Uranus,
Missouri to take selfies with the signs. If you
go to Uranus, go to the fudge factory. Yes, there's
a fudge factory in Uranus. No joke. Here at Two
Douchebags and a Microphone, we don't stand behind
our journalistic integrity. Go ahead and assume
we got the story wrong. At least we admit it.
Not like all those other guys. We can and will
lie if it makes the story better. Two douchebags
and a microphone. Hey, peeps, it's time for the
police blotter. That's right. Stories about stupid
criminals and the dumb assness that ensued. Let
us begin now. A man in Daytona Beach, Florida,
was attempting to evade police by hiding in a
clothes dryer in a maid's room at a local motel.
The maid went to turn on the dryer when she heard
screaming inside the dryer. The police were right
there still pursuing the man. When the maid opened
up the dryer, a man bleeding profusely from his
mouth and missing a few teeth had his shoes come
off during the spin cycle and broke out his front
four teeth. Hey there, slap nuts. It's time for
the Creeps Music News. Hey, my little pumpkin
seeds. This is Johnny Rohypnol with your music
news. Dave Mustaine, the founding member of Megadeth,
turns out to be a pretty decent guy. This next
story is proof positive of such. Dave Mustaine
is launching the Evergreen Sanctuary, a sprawling
six -acre, multi -million dollar refuge tucked
into the Malibu Hills. dedicated to abused and
abandoned dogs. This isn't some feel -good shelter,
the Megadeth founder says. It's a place for recovery,
a place where damaged souls can breathe. This
place features 24 -7 veterinary care, full rehabilitation,
but most of all, respect. All these dogs have
survived hell. They deserve a life where they're
protected, understood, and never discarded again.
Thank you, Mr. Mustaine. What a decent, great
thing to do. Maybe more stars will get involved
with us now that they see you started it. This
is Johnny Rohypnol. That was your music news.
And remember, bar chords are bullshit. Here we
go. Signs that you might be a pussy. Signs that
you might be a pussy. If you've ever had Phil
Collins or Oingo Boingo posters on your wall.
If you've ever raised your coffee mug or tea
glass with your pinky extended. If you often
lotion up your hands with no apparent reason.
If you like poached eggs. If you sing along to
Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. Or if you have ever
wore a pair of Crocs, even just trying them out,
you are a pussy. So you want proof that we love
you here at QD Spades and Microphone Central?
Here's a proof right here. How about the drink
of the week? Pistachio Martini seems in order.
Start off with two ounces vanilla vodka. One
ounce pistachio liqueur. One ounce heavy cream.
One half ounce simple syrup. One ounce of heavy
cream chill martini glass in freezer for ten
minutes. Dip the chilled glass rim in the simple
syrup, then rub the rim in crushed pistachios.
Fill a cocktail shaker with the vodka, liqueur,
heavy cream, and simple syrup in the shaker.
Shake vigorously, then strain the contents into
the glass. You may garnish the rim of the martini
glass with a sliced lemon and an olive, possibly.
Drink up, bitches. Sir, I see your qualifications
here. May I ask some further questions that could
help me determine your employment eligibility?
Yes, sir. I'm ready. Well, as you can see here,
we have a large population of different ethnic
backgrounds, sexuality, and ages. Are you by
chance bilingual? Well, sir, I'm not sure why
you need that kind of information, but, well,
it was only one time in summer camp. I considered
it experimental. Hey! This is Uncle Rob. I'm
going to give you some tips for life. When you
want to save a park bench, but you have to come
back to it, just carry it with you inside, and
bam, you'll have the bench all to yourself. Two
douchebags and a microphone. I am Mark here in
the Kansas City area at the Talk is Cheap studio.
And I do goat noises. And I am Rob from Wheatland,
Missouri. And I make those noises. Highway 54
RV Park was actually shown on Ozark Law the other
night. What? It was on Ozark Law. No, it's a
different one. Oh, it is? Okay. It's got to be.
Okay. Trust me, I would know if they were on
Ozark Law. Okay, okay. Forget it then. All right.
It had been another one. Okay, then it had to
have been one down the road. Okay, forget it.
All right. Yeah. All right. Yeah, that's right.
All right. I didn't even think about that. I
just saw Highway 54, and I saw the RV park, and
I'm like, oh, hey, that's it. No, no, no, no.
That's not this one. Trust me. I wouldn't know.
Actually, I make sense now. That's all I'm saying.
Trust me. I wouldn't know. Okay, they're Palme
d 'Itar. All right. Okay, well, since we didn't
get to the other night to this podcast, some
of this stuff is a little dated, but I don't
care. Yeah, okay. You want to celebrate New Year's,
but don't care for bourbon? Well, Samuel Adams
Brewery has your answer, Rob. This would be 30
% alcohol beer. Wow. Yeah, yeah. The description
says... It's not for me. I've had the really
heavy alcohol beers before and the bourbon barrel
aged. They're cute, but it's not something you
want to drink regular. You might have a pint
here or there, but it's not something that you're
going to live by. It's not like your regular,
hey, give me a Miller Lite or give me a Yin Ling
or whatever. It's not that at all. This is like
gadget beer. So anyhow, the Samuel Adams Utopias.
2025 is a rare barrel -aged extreme beer with
a record 30 % APV, which is alcohol by volume,
making it one of the world's strongest beers.
It's designed to be sipped like a spirit, and
it's illegal to sell in 15 states due to its
high alcohol content. Do you know that? They
won't let beers go above a certain amount, and
I think it's like 11 % or something like that.
This non -carbonated brew is a blend of beers
aged in spirit casts like whiskey, port, and
cognac, and is sold in a distinctive copper kettle
-shaped bottle for around $240 for 24 1⁄2 ounces.
$240. Do you know any beer that's worth $240
unless it's a truckload? I don't, including this.
$240. No, no, I don't care about the copper kettle
or none of that gadget shit. Nope. And the beer
could be fucking angelic. But, $240, no. I could
find a lot better things to do with that. So,
Samuel Adams High Alcohol Utopia's beer is illegal
in 15 states, like I said, including Alabama,
Arkansas, Georgia, Idaho, Missouri, Mississippi,
Montana, New Hampshire, North Carolina, Oklahoma,
Oregon, South Carolina, Utah, Vermont, and West
Virginia, due to state laws capping beer alcohol
content with some limiting it as low as 14%.
I believe that's what it is in Missouri, too.
Then after that, you have to call it something
else. You can't call it beer. You live in Missouri
and you want one? Run over to Kansas. That's
the closest liquor store because the volume alcohol
will not let them sell it in a grocery store.
So if you go to Kansas to buy it, go to a liquor
store because you're not going to go to a Hy
-Vee or a Dillon's or a Price Chopper and buy
it there because this is considered a liquor
and Kansas will not let you sell liquor in anything
other than a liquor store. So if you go to Kansas
to get it, remember that. Go to a liquor store.
Don't go to Price Chopper or whoever. Hey, it's
an hour and a half. Kansas is an hour and a half
from me. So I might as well just go out and buy
me a 12 -pack of Budweiser. Yeah, there you go.
And you know what? I'm just going to go out and
buy me a 12 -pack of Yenling and call it good.
Yeah. Yeah, there we go. You're a lot closer
to State Line than I am. Yeah, I could spin on
State Line from where I'm at. I am literally
just on the other side of Leawood. Yeah, I know.
Yeah, I kind of mapped it out in my head. You
know about where I'm at. I mean, you've been
around these parts. Yeah, I know about it. All
right. All right. Since this is a little bit
older and I didn't get to this, do you know any
Heathers, Rob? Unfortunately. Okay. Well, if
you know a Heather or two, it's time to celebrate
them with the National Heather Day on December
3rd. Like I said, this is a little bit dated,
but I don't care. I'm going with it anyhow. Heather
Day, also simply known as the 3rd of December
or December 3rd, is an annual online trend created
by social media users in 2020. It gained popularity
after the release of Heather. by American singer
-songwriter Conan Gray, whoever that is, where
the first lyric is, I still remember, 3rd of
December. Me in your sweater. All right, I don't
know where the song goes from there, but it doesn't
say anymore. So, the tradition involves simply
gifting a sweater to a loved one on December
3rd, regardless if it's a love interest or a
friend. So, I think next year on December 3rd,
what are we doing, Rob? We're giving each other
a sweater. We're giving each other a sweater
is what we're doing, right? To celebrate Heather's
Day. It says Heather. Heather with a sweater,
yes. I'll embroider them. Yep. So, anyhow, so
why you need to know that, I have no fucking
idea, but I just let you know. Neither do I.
That's what we do here. We fill your mind full
of worthless shit so you can... Try to struggle
to remember what you're going to do this afternoon.
All right. So our police blotter segment told
you about the man who was busted because he had
a baggie in his front seat that said bag of drugs.
Have you heard that one yet? No, I have not.
Okay. Is that our criminal of the week? Yes,
yes. That's what the police blotter section,
I believe I told you that off of the program,
right? About the new segment. And it just features
a stupid criminal once a week, and it's called
the police blotter section. Oh, yes, yes. Okay.
You did tell me about that. Okay, yeah. So the
guy was busted because, you know, the guy was
getting ready to leave. The cop was getting ready
to leave, and he looked over to the guy's left
in the passenger seat, and he saw this bag that
said, bag of drugs. So the cop was like. Maybe
I want to take a look in there. And, of course,
it was not like ibuprofen. It wasn't Tylenol.
It wasn't Lisinopril. You know, it wasn't Omeprazole.
It was drugs. Illegal drugs. So, anyhow, so now
there's a woman who was arrested after having
a baggie in her car that said, definitely not
drugs. What the fuck? You write the article.
I would have done, Rob. I would have labeled
the bag dog feces specimen only. Yeah. Look over
there and go, what's that dog shit? I've got
to take you to the vet. Okay, all right. We'll
see you guys later. Have a good day. Yeah, there's
nothing after that, after you say it's a bag
of dog shit. They ain't looking in there and
smelling around. They're like, okay, I'll take
your word. Or at least I would. The last three
one -cent pennies ever minted by the U .S. government
sold at auction on December 11th for $800 ,000.
That's a pretty pricey penny. $800 ,000 for the
last three one -cent pennies ever minted by the
U .S. So that's somebody with more money than
brains, right? So, on December 11th, the Sulfur
800 ,000, the Associated Press reported, the
winning bidder also received the three dyes that
struck those coins. I've never been going...
Oh, that's shit. Yeah, well, I mean, now I see
how... That would be worth it there. That would
be worth it there. To have the dyes, that would
be. Man, that would look so good in the Talk
is Cheap studio or the Duck Blind studio, wouldn't
it? Oh, my God, yes. Yeah. Had to do that. All
right. So, let's see. Where the hell was I? I've
been going to coin auctions for 40 years, and
I've never seen anything like this. John Karkovich
of Stax Bowers Galleries, where the auction was
held. The penny was introduced in 1793, and at
that time could buy a biscuit or a piece of candy.
I think for a lot of people, the ending of production
of cents for circulation is an item of nostalgia.
Kirk of Ice said. And it is, I mean, you know,
after pennies are gone for a while, people are
going to start, you know, wanting to collect
them and everything. So, anyhow, it had a great
run, didn't it? We got a bunch. Yeah, since 1700s,
I mean, it had a hell of a run. The penny had
a great run, didn't it? Yeah, it did. Especially
the last 20 years, it cost more to make a penny
than it was worth. It costs like a dime to make.
Well, the price to make it has been up for years.
Yeah, and finally they decided... I'm actually,
once I read that article, I was kind of shocked
that we hadn't shut it down before. I've heard
this for about 20 years now, that they're going
to end the penny, they're going to end the penny,
and then they're going to end the dollar. But
they never did. No, they never did. It's just
like daylight savings time. You're like, oh,
okay, we're going to keep one time and not the
other. We haven't figured it out yet. Hasn't
happened yet. So, whatever. So, for New Year's
Eve, Val found something really cool. Cannoli
chips. Now, you love delicious cannolis, right?
Like me? Yeah, I've heard of cannoli chips. Oh,
you have? Yeah, I have. Yeah, I have heard of
them. Okay, I didn't know they... I didn't know
they existed. It's a plastic container. This
is for everyone else. You know what it is. But
this is a plastic container of cannoli shells
that are cracked into chips. And in the middle,
it has a tub of sweet ricotta cheese to dip your
shells in. Just like a hummus kit where you have
pita chips and the hummus in the middle of the
dip, you know, to dip the chips in. So, man,
that stuff was fantastic. You know. I'm so glad,
you know, she got those because the day before
I went to Corolla's Italian Market to buy some
cannolis for the family on Christmas, or not
Christmas, but New Year's, but they were closed.
So that day in observance of New Year's, so I
didn't have any cannolis at all that I wanted
to bring home. And Val didn't know this, but
that day is when she found the cannoli chip.
She brought it home, and it tastes just like
a fucking really good cannoli. Is it really?
Yeah, yeah. Oh, they're really, really good.
Awesome. I'd love to get my hand on a good cannoli.
It's been years, man. Yeah. You can't get it
around where I'm at. Well, you know what? When
I finally see you one of these days, I will bring
you some cannoli chips. Well, either that or
I'll come up and see. Well, yeah, we've got to
get together because I've still got to get you
your shirts. Yeah. You know. Well, I'm still
looking around for a laptop or a tablet around
here that will work. But the two that I had in
mind to give you won't fucking charge up anymore.
And I think it's just because it sat there for
so long and I didn't charge them up or nothing,
didn't worry about them. I'm going to get set
up. I'm going to get me a laptop. I'm going to
get me a printer. Yeah, a printer is a shame.
the other day. And just today with my new stepson's
help, we got my desk up here. So I have my desk
and my chair just like I did in the old studio
now. So, yeah, it's a lot more comfortable. That's
cool. Good. I'm glad you're getting it set up
because that sounds like, you know, the Talk
is Cheap studio, I have all this cool shit in
here. Not only because I enjoy it and it's kind
of a man cave, but also it gets me in the mood
to do a podcast. And I think it's very important.
I got two barns full of shit. Small barns. They're
big sheds. Small barns. A lot of my shit's still
outside. In my opinion... No, no, I told you
my projects, I understand. Plus, plus all this
driving we've been in. Oh, my God. She has a
big car, and I got the douchebag mobile. Oh,
my God, the mileage is going up. Oh, shit, the
mileage. Well, you drive 45 minutes. Our grandkids'
birthdays are December 17th. Uh -huh. Okay, well,
my grandson is over at Lake of the Ozarks. Her
granddaughter is up at Excelsior Springs. That's
a pretty good territory to cover. Okay, and now,
do you realize what dates I set? December 17th
and 18th. What do we have next? Christmas. Yeah,
the very busy time of the year. I mean, we haven't
been telling everybody, but you've been telling
me, so I know about it, but nobody else will
know. Yeah, our poor vehicles need a break. We
need to settle down. And, well, I've been on
vacation for two and a half weeks. So I go back
to work tomorrow, and I cannot wait. I get it.
I get it. Hey, Rob. What is A .I. Tassiography?
I do not know. Me neither. Hey, hey, new guy.
Come over here, bitch. Now, explain what A .I.
Tassiography is right now or you're fucking fired,
you dickhead. Uh, hello. This is the new guy,
and I guess these two dimwits want me to explain
A .I. Tassiography to you? Okay, here it goes.
AI tassiography is a recent social media trim
where individuals upload images of their leftover
tea leaves or coffee grounds to an AI chatbot
such as ChatGPT and ask the AI to interpret the
patterns as a form of fortune telling. How it
works, the process generally involves these steps.
Brewing a cup of loose -leaf tea or Turkish or
Slash Greek coffee. Consuming the beverage and
allowing the leftover sediment to settle into
patterns. Taking a photo of the inside of the
cup. Uploading the photo to an AI program and
prompting it to provide a reading based on traditional
interpretations. So, okay, there you guys go.
Maybe these two dumb fucks will leave me alone
now. But I doubt it. Man, man. Oh, it's cool.
Man, that new guy. Jeez, man. What is his problem?
He is a crappy old fucker. Yeah, he is. Gosh.
I made him leave. I told him to get the fuck
out of here. Jeez, man. I don't know. He might
be fired again. We'll have to have a little discussion
after this podcast about it, okay? Yeah, because
I may have to get on Indeed and buy us a new
one. I'm thinking that. I mean, he is like really,
you know, he does a good job. He explains everything
really well. But all that surliness and that,
you know, that rolling of the eyes. He's an asshole.
Yeah. I mean, he obviously can't stand us. I
don't get it. We've been nothing but good to
him. I mean, pencil shavings. You even gave him
50 bucks. I gave him three bags of pencil shavings,
Rob. Three bags. Oh, you loved it even. You gave
him bonus even. I know. I was only supposed to
give him one. I gave him three bags of pencil
shavings. It was only supposed to be one. I know,
and he's still mad. I don't know. All right.
Come on, dude. You can start a fire with that.
Yes. Fifty bucks, you can buy you a T -bone.
There he goes. A T -bone on a fire. A T -bone
on a fire. You can't beat that. Man, I don't
know what his deal is. You know what? He's going
to have fun looking for a job, isn't he? They'll
hear him on here and go, What was your last employment?
Two douchebags. No, no, no. Don't fill out an
application. Just go. All right. Val and I can't
really go on a cruise or overseas for the time
being. You know, my mom's health and other family
members' health makes it extremely hard to go
too far, you know. I'm just glad that everybody
I'm talking about is still around and everything.
You know, it sucks failing health and stuff like
that. And some of it is just age and you're not
going to get better. So, you know. Oh, trust
me. I know Prince's grandma is 94. So, yeah,
we know all about it. Yeah, my uncle in Canada
is 92. But that woman's up and going unless she
breaks her foot in three places like she did.
Oh, my uncle in Canada is the same way. He still
gets around. He's 92 going on 93. He still gets
around. Still does his own cooking. I think he
was shoveling the snow off his sidewalk because
they get a lot more snow up there. I mean, it's
just insane. I hope I'm... half as active as
he is and alive at 92. Yeah, well, her grandma
lives across the street from us with her mom
and dad. But her grandma still goes up to the
community center and goes and dances and stuff.
You see, that stuff keeps her young. Yeah. God
bless her. She's dying to dance with me. Are
you going to cut the leg with her? I have to
make it happen. Are you going to cut the leg
with her, Rob? Good. So anyhow, we can't go overseas,
like I said, or even really do a cruise. So Val
and I have been eyeing this Fort Lauderdale to
Bimini Island Ferry. I think it's called Bimini
or something like that. I think it's Bimini,
but I call it Bimini. I've heard of it. Yeah,
I've heard of it. It's just a small island, really
pretty much off the coast. It's right before
you get to the Bahamas, which is about 50 miles
from the Keys. So when you stay in Fort Lauderdale,
you can book a ferry to the island of Bimini.
The island is a two -hour ferry ride. And you
can go there and stay a couple of days at a couple
of resorts that they have there. We've been checking
out resorts and found a few nice ones. Plus,
we can also podcast from one of these resorts
because they all have Wi -Fi. So this is something
that might be coming up because our next birthday,
we're thinking about... doing something like
that, if not before. I'm not sure because my
birthday's in the heart of hurricane season.
And, you know, you get insurance and stuff. But
we've had trips fail before because of hurricanes.
And it just sucks because you have the time off,
you have all this stuff, you get everything aligned
to where you can do it. And then all of a sudden
it's like, nope, nope, nope, there might be a
hurricane coming. And one time it was in New
Orleans and it was a tropical storm. And it was
just like, you know, there's... horrible weather
everywhere flooding tornadoes and we're like
we had to cancel it and we we've had other ones
do it because they're under a tropical storm
watch or a hurricane watch or whatever so it
just sucks because you can get it all insured
but the thing is you know what i mean rob you
got your heart set on this day on these days
right you have the time off and all of this stuff
and then all of a sudden you can't go and you
got to kick it down the road and then a lot of
times you can't find a good spot so I think we're
going to probably do it before my birthday. And
my birthday, we might do like a safe option,
like go to Eureka Springs or possibly maybe Tennessee,
the Smoky Mountains or something. You know, we'll
figure it out. Dude, yeah, I would love that.
Oh, the Smoky Mountains. But if you want like
the ocean type vibe, I have an alternative for
you. Oh, yeah? I don't know if you've considered
it. What? Off the coast of California. Yeah,
yeah, yeah. We were supposed to go there. They're
still far in the States, you know. Okay. Just
an idea. Just check it out there. No, that's
a good idea. That is a good idea. We were supposed
to go there, and I was going to check it out,
actually, for resorts and stuff, but it was canceled
because Catalina Island, the waves. Just because
they outlayed the ocean and the island and where
it is off of the coast, the waves get pretty
rough there. I mean, kind of like in San Francisco
and Alcatraz. So we couldn't dock there, so they
canceled that part of the trip. Okay. Well, it
was just not just throwing it out there. No,
no, no. I love the idea, and what I'm saying
is I want to get a little bit better read on
the resorts. You know what? I'll check it out.
I'll get back with you. That's a good... You
can fly in there or whatever, you know. You know
what? I learned about it through a guy that I
used to work with. He was stationed in the Navy
in Cavalier Island. Yeah, it's a beautiful island.
It's desert, but it's still beautiful. I mean,
I love Aruba and Curacao and Bon Air, and they're
all desert, too. Desert islands are not that
bad. They're usually pretty nice. Yeah. That's
good. Yeah. No, I'll tell you what. Everybody
check it out because I'm going to be checking
it out. Thank you. Appreciate it, Rob. That's
a great example or a great thought. All right.
I'm going to go. I got more stuff, but like always,
let's go ahead and go to you because we're like
20 -some minutes deep. Okay. Well, I'm going
to step into the wrestling world. All right.
Sounds good to me. All right. I haven't heard
that in a while. Yeah. Well, I'm going to talk
about Chris Jericho. Okay. Well -known wrestler.
Mm -hmm. A great podcaster, too. Yeah. Yeah.
He's a great podcaster. Oh, he has an awesome
band, Fozzy. Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's
right. Yep. Yeah. Yeah. Fozzy. I do like Fozzie,
and I also like Talk is Jericho podcast. It's
one of the best interviews I've ever heard of
Jakey Lee. I mean, he really got stuff out of
him that was really, really good. Jericho, I
didn't know he was that good of a podcaster,
but anyhow, go ahead with your story. Sorry.
Oh, he's just good with the public. He really
is. Oh, he is. He's very good. Yes, that's a
great, great pair. Very charismatic. Yep. So,
well, his contract is up with AEW. Mm -hmm. They
could use him. Mm -hmm. Matches, right off the
bat, he could be getting in on. Okay, the first
one is CM Punk. Uh -huh. Let's get the easy one
out of the way first. Yep. There's a storied
history between CM Punk and Jericho and WWE.
Yes. I didn't know that okay yeah considering
how WWE hasn't been shy to lean into Punk's polarizing
exit from AEW in the past one last feud with
Jericho would certainly create I could too. I
could too. Yeah, because if Jared goes to come
in, he's at the end of his era. I mean, he's
going to be ready to hand it off to somebody.
And it's no wonder he was among the first feuds
for Cody Rhodes and Punk upon their return to
the company. Once Rollins is cleared, likely
after WrestleMania, Rollins seems like an inevitable
feud for Jericho. Yeah, I see that one too. I
do too. So, yeah, I could see that one. Yeah,
I could too. Okay, next. Cody Rhodes. Yes. Yes,
absolutely. Yeah, you know where I'm going with
this one. Yes, I do. Similar to Paul, an expectation
should be that WWE will lean into Jericho's run
with AEW. Of course they're going to. Yeah. Yeah,
oh yeah. I can see that. And lastly in this list,
Gunther. Who? Gunther. The one that just took
out John Cena. Yeah. Okay, did you hear about
that? No, no. John Cena's final match. I haven't.
Go ahead. I did not. I did not. He handed the
torch. And in the storyline you see that. But
this is for Chris Jericho. And here comes Gunther
again. It is very clear what WWE is doing for
Gunther. Establishing him as the new legend killer.
And chances are he will be the one to put down
Brock Lesnar for good next summer. Yeah, that
battle's coming too. Okay. That sounds good.
Chances are in Jericho's last match, Guto will
be the one to send him out. I think you're right.
Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm. Okay. All
right. That is the list of the people that Chris
Jericho could very well face when he comes back
to the WWE. Yes, he comes back. Okay. Allegedly.
Allegedly. All right. Thank you, Rob. Let's take
our first break. I got some emails. Sound good?
Sounds awesome. All right. We shall be right
back, whether you like it or not. look in on
the adventures of the technical explanation guy.
Why, excuse me, my dear sir. Could you please
direct me to the nearest self -employed person
in a motorized vehicle that will transport me
where I ask them to in exchange for money and
a tip? Do you mean an Uber ride? Why, yes. Yes,
I do mean an Uber ride. Then just say an Uber
ride, you dumb motherfucker. And why are you
constantly following me around asking me stupid
questions? Strange, but true. In early 2018,
Tupac Shakur's former bodyguard, Michael Nice,
begged his own death for a little over a year
to prove that Tupac could have done the same.
This is Joshua Belmont, your food for thought
man on The Hustle. So I just realized a genius
that gets absolutely no credit. His name is Marshall
Taylor. He is credited with the first bag of
salad mix that was bagged and sold. Yesterday
was his birthday. I believe he is still alive.
This guy's genius will never be fully appreciated.
Before this man, we settled for iceberg lettuce
with maybe a couple of croutons and some cheese.
Was Mr. Taylor satisfied with that? Hell no.
He realized that Billy Americana would never
go out and buy a couple of radishes, a couple
of carrots, a head of purple cabbage, maybe snow
peas, and possibly some cute romaine lettuce
for extra bougie. Mr. Taylor. You should have
a national holiday. You watch the news. It looks
grim. Is an apocalypse inevitable? We suggest
you download all our podcasts beforehand and
have multiple mobile chargers. We have the post
-apocalypse. Remember, communication is essential
post -apocalypse. You must have two radios that
are solar chargeable. Have several on hand in
case any of them do break. That way, if one is
out guarding the perimeter of your property or
out gathering food or whatever, you can stay
in communication and know where the other person
is. Your mama's so stupid, she tried to climb
Mountain Dew. Jam X. What the hell happened?
You were the general. of change. You never wanted
to be one of them. Apathy spoke for you. Fuck
the man. Fuck the system. What the hell happened?
The generation of angst? The generation of non
-compliance? Is now buying a boat? You're really
fed up to kill someone who dangled a dollar near
you? Great job, Xers. Everything's ruined. Have
you ever wondered what something came about?
Have you ever looked at something and said, Hmm,
I wonder what the origin of that is? Well, so
have we. That's why we give you The Origin Of.
What is the origin of Mountain Dew? Tennessee
bottlers Barney and Ally Hartman developed Mountain
Dew as a mixer in the 1940s. Soft drinks were
sold regionally in the 1930s, and the Hartmans
had difficulty in Knoxville obtaining their preferred
soda to mix with liquor, preferably whiskey,
so the two developed their own now known as Mountain
Dew. Since the dawn of time, weird shit has happened.
Strange occurrences, unexplained phobias, and
other odd happenings. Over the next minute, we
would like to bring you odd, rare phobias and
conditions. Perry -Romberg syndrome. Cause is
unknown. No known cure, and extremely rare. Parts
of the face slowly wither. Over years, muscles,
skin, even bones, shrink on one side of the face,
causing disfigurement when it stops progressing.
People often ask, how do we cram so much money
into one little show? Well, it's simple. We buy
funny in bulk on the Internet. Hey, Mark, you're
wanted at the front door. There's a big bag of
funny they need you to sign for. Okay, thanks
a lot. I'll be right there. I'm still sorting
out the funny we got from yesterday. There's
your answer. We buy funny in bulk on the internet.
Next up, things overheard in hell. Gary Glitter
has been named. Two douchebags, a microphone,
a mark here in the Kansas City area at the Talk
is Cheap studio. And I am Rob in Wheatland, Missouri,
home of the magnificent Lucas Oil Speedway and
water racetrack. I forgot to mention that. It
makes me want to go there and camp out. Dude,
I... It's restricted, but, you know, they have
the rules. It's mainly for the Lucas Oil people.
Yeah, you know what? I'm never going to make
it down there and camp out. It's a beautiful
place. Yeah. I'm looking at it right now. Oh,
did I say that? If it's the same place I think
of, we went down there for a race to meet some
people we met on a cruise that lived over on
the other side of St. Louis and the Illinois
side. And I believe they might have stayed there.
And they got there a day before. Like, chatty
tour from the main entrance? Yes. As a matter
of fact, a huge hailstorm and tornadoes came
through there the day that they got there. It
was horrible. And I think they had to take and
park their car. And it was like a, maybe like
a, oh, like a car wash or something. Is there
a car wash around there? Yep. Okay. Yes. That
was it. That's it then. Okay. All right. At Hickamoe's.
At Hickamoe's. Yes. Yeah. Best store ever, dude.
Best store. Yeah, they, before the tornado came
just south of them over there, kind of near Palme
d 'Itar Lake itself, before that tornado came
through, there was, like, golf ball and softball
-sized hail. So they were smart enough to go
straight there and put their car underneath there.
Everyone else got their cars just hammered because
it was in, I believe, early June or late May,
the race. So, all right. Okay, well. Yeah. Their
RV park is literally in my backyard. Yeah. Literally.
That's all I'm going to say. All right. All right.
I got some emails here. All right. Mark, whether
you copy another show or not, it still sucks.
Go eat a razor blade. Clint in Arkansas. I thought
we came to... Oh, you went back to Arkansas?
Well, here. You kicked him out? Okay. Rob, Mitch
finally screwed up. He sent this one from his
real email address and said the fake one he made
up for Clint. Whoever brought that to our attention,
thank you. I got to reading it. It is Mitch.
There is not a Clint. I'm certain of it now.
Unless there was like an original Clint that
was like a dick and then he kind of took over
the identity. Yeah, he did like one or two and
then Mitch took it over. Yeah, it could have
been that. But I can tell you right now, this
guy's Mitch. It was Mitch the whole time. Oh,
I sent him an email back. The way he talks. The
way he talks. I know. I know. And after whoever,
I forgot. I apologize. I can't remember. After
whoever sent us that message saying they're the
same person, I started noticing, you know what?
The way they talk, what they say is almost identical.
Yep. So. All right. Well, Mitch has been figured
out. Oh, I mean Mitchell. Mitchell. has been
figured out. Mitchell! Yeah, old Mitchell. All
right, Mark, let me get this straight. You don't
care that the Chiefs are moving out of Jackson
County? You live in that county, correct? Jan
and Casey, Missouri. Absolutely, I do not care.
And the reason is, is we can't afford them over
here. We cannot afford them. Our taxes are going
to I don't know what kind of stupid shit. So,
I mean, the roads are like fucking Swiss cheese.
Mark, can I break your heart? Yeah, go ahead.
You're also going to pay to get rid of Arrowhead.
No, I know. I know. Look. Your tax money. Your
tax money. I know. You're going to pay to get
rid of the Arrowhead that's still standing. No,
I know. So, yeah. Look, Kansas City has dropped
the ball. Missouri has dropped the ball. And,
okay, let's say everything is off the table.
You know, we've got to tear down Arrowhead and
all that. It's not just the money. It's also
what they're doing over there in Kansas. They
are more unified. Their government's unified.
All the counties in the Kansas City, Kansas area
are all unified, and they work together. They
use the star bonds to pay for this stuff, and
they always have them paid back early. They are
an efficient, well -oiled government over there.
And they had this pegged for years when Missouri
was over there scratching their ass. They deserved
to have the Chiefs. They did all the legwork.
They did all the prep work. They did everything,
including harvesting the money. So this thing
is going to be an immaculate area. Okay. Okay.
Let me bring this to your table. Okay. Yeah.
Missouri side or they live on the Kansas side?
Most of them. The two that I know of, Travis,
both of them live like a few miles from me, or
at least Travis did. I know Mahomes still does.
Travis lives in Lock Lloyd, which is just a few
miles south of me, about three, four miles, okay?
So he lives in Missouri, and actually his address
would be Belton, Missouri, because that's where
Lock Lloyd is. So Taylor Swift has a Belton address.
No, no, no, that's Mahomes. Travis Kelsey lived
in Leawood, South Leawood, and I don't know if
he still does or not. There have been various
reports like he had to move out because people
found out. Most of them. Most of them. No, you're
right. You're absolutely right. Yes. And also
the whole thing, the whole idea that they brought
to the table is just much more efficient and
much more grand. And the Chiefs are more deserving
of something grand. Look, I know the PSLs, the
private seat licenses and all that bullshit,
and it's going to upend their whole fan base
and all the people that have been season ticket
holders since 1969 when the team came over here,
66 or whatever it was. That's a year on board.
Yeah, they were all, you know, they had these
season tickets forever, and it's going to screw
them because most of them probably are priced
out of it now. But you were going to get that
in Missouri anyhow because that's why they want
to build a new stadium. It gets so much revenue.
But the stadium they have in mind, the Dome Stadium
over there in Kansas, and the whole district
that's going to garner tax money, it's just a
much more, efficient, intelligent idea of going
about this. And then they're taking and building
a huge practice facility in Olathe with a district
around that, with the Chiefs, like a little Chiefs
district around that. It's much smarter. That
crap hole over there, I love Arrowhead Stadium,
but it's nothing around it. Yeah, that's what
I was saying. Yeah. And they deserve it. So there.
All the Missouri people are just going to have
to fucking get over that. That's the way it is.
You don't like it, change your government. I
don't know what else to say. So, all right. I'm
liking the new segments. You might be a pussy
and police blotter. This is what you guys needed.
I felt the show needed a few fresh ideas. Thank
you. Reese in Columbia, South Carolina. Well,
why don't you get a hold of the brand new Rob's
Tips for Life. We got a few of them, don't we,
Rob? Yeah, we do. Yeah, that ought to warm your
belly up. Reese in Columbia, South Carolina,
you're getting your belly up. Did I record? Actually,
you should hear some of them tonight. You're
going to hear them. On this show, you're going
to hear them. You're going to hear at least one,
if not two. I think I'm going to do one at a
time and just make people fucking wait. What
do you think? Yeah. Yeah, you guys are going
to get mad. We did like six. Look, I got so much
shit about coming up with new ones. You guys
are going to have to wait. There's going to be
a new one on each of the next five shows. So
there you go. All right, next. Rob, when does
the racetrack season open at Lucas Oil? I'm serious.
Not giving you crap like others. I'm going to
make it to that track this year if it kills me.
Just in McAllister, Oklahoma. I was not ready
for that question. I forgot about the question
because I was supposed to have it a few days
ago, right? I forgot all about it. Otherwise,
I would have pre -warned you, so I'm sorry. Kids
kicked off in March. In March, that's what I
thought. And the King of America did that. What
is her name? Jess, Jess, just look it up online.
Okay, okay, the kids kick it off March, but it
looks like the main events start in May and run
through October. Yep, that sounds about right.
It's just a brief thing I just pulled up real
quick. Just out of the air. All right, yep, just
look it up. You can find it. It's all over the
internet. Lucasfilm. Excellent. All right. Thank
you, Rob. And I know a beautiful, beautiful RV
park right here. That's right. And it's really
dedicated to the people that go to Lucas Oil
Stadium. So there you go. But I would book that.
My cousins have a place you can put a tent up.
There you go. If you want the RV park, book it
early. Am I right, Rob? Mm -hmm. Book it early.
Yeah. Next one. Hey, guys, I had a spam call
from Licking, Missouri. I automatically thought
of you guys. Ross in Texas. Rossington. How cool.
How appropriate. One of our newer best e -mailers
got a call from Licking, Missouri. Nice. But
it was a spam call. I have never lived around
there. It was not me. So, yeah, it wasn't me.
All right. All right, Rossington, good to hear
from you. Thank you. Or Ross, whatever. All right.
Mark is correct. Men will shit all over anyway
just for fun where women are too self -conscious
to do so. I'm not making fun of women. They are
more civilized than us men for sure. Ronnie and
Tulsa, the Tulsa King. Good to hear from Ronnie,
too. We got Ross and Ronnie all in two houses.
Yes. Thank you, guys. You guys are royalty? Yes.
Like we said, men shit all over each other because
we think it's funny. Women think it's, you know,
it's not civil. They think it's, you know, just
horrible. But anyhow, you know what? All right.
So, yeah, it's true. Men will, women usually
hold it in and get stomach aches and stuff where,
like, if I'm walking by Rob, I will shit all
over him just because I love him. And you would
return the favor, wouldn't you? Yeah, I'd actually
clean you up. I would clean you up, too. I love
it. Oh, this next one. Okay. Okay, Rob, did you
really get your penis pierced instead of a wedding
ring? Hamilton and Bears Den, wherever that's
at. I don't recall you saying that, do you? No.
No, I don't. I don't know where they got this
from. Okay, I do have a wedding ring. But see
how I work with my hands? And she doesn't. Me
too. You have to take our ring. lost too much
weight my fingers are much skinnier and I can't
even wear it anyhow and I work with my hands
and I don't want to lose it anyhow so that's
why we have the tattoos because we work with
our hands we have to take our rings off oh that's
cool that's good that way we're still good I'm
thinking about getting a tattoo ring too but
anyhow we'll figure that out later okay and this
next one I done okay I'll I'll let you answer
this, Rob, if you want, but this is weird. Douches.
I ran into Dan Hafner. He said he was an original
douchebag until he had to quit the show. I don't
remember him at all. Was he before Topher? Threeny
in Minneapolis. Who the fuck is Dan Hafner? Thank
you. I'm with Rob. I don't know who that guy
is. No, he was never on this one. It's Topher
and Mark. And then I took over for Topher. It's
just the three of us. There's no... Yeah, and
now Topher's back doing a couple of shows and
Rob's doing his couple of shows. I don't know
if someone's screwing with you or if they're
talking about another podcast. There's another
one called... That name sounds weird. Yeah, I
think he may be... with two dudes and a microphone,
which came up after us, I would like to say.
That name sounds fair. It really does. Yeah,
there's two dudes and a microphone. In my opinion,
they copied us because they came along afterwards,
and they probably looked and found this copyrighted,
so they went with something close. Could they
maybe be talking about that show instead of this?
Because that guy was never on here. That Dan
Hefner guy was never on here, ever. Anyhow, not
even as a guest, nothing. Don't even know the
guy, anything about him, so not to my knowledge.
Rob, do you know anything about Dan Hafner? That's
a... I don't know. For some reason, it sounds
like a name I would know. That's interesting,
because that sounded like a name I knew, too,
and that's why I thought maybe he was affiliated
with that other show. No, that's okay. He might
have been affiliated with that other show, and
that's why. I don't know. Anyhow, no. I don't
know if it was misunderstood or if that guy's
just screwing with your lion or whatever, but
no, he's never on here. It's always been me,
Rob, and Topher. That's it. Bottom line. Yep,
bottom line. All right, Rob, let's turn it over
to you. You might have a bag of garbage or something.
I don't know. I'm clairvoyant. Yeah, I noticed
that. I noticed that. I love that sound. I love
that sound, Rob. That bag of garbage makes me
feel good. Okay, in December 1963, January 1964,
I know Tom Brown's brother, Bob Square. Okay,
sorry. Sorry, that was horrible. Go ahead. At
that point, the record was held by Robert McDonald
at 18 days and 21 hours, or 453 hours and 40
minutes. Fuck. Could you imagine that, dude?
Yes, it's happened numerous times. Yeah, so I
see why Guinness did away with it. Yeah, because...
If you get it that long, you're causing harm
to people. Yeah, if you allow that to go on,
you can be an accomplice to someone killing themselves,
and then you can be held liable, so I get it.
Just for a world, right? Come on. It's a paper.
I agree. Cool. Okay. Well, shall we reach in
one more time? I think so. I think that sounds
in order. I'm sorry. I love this segment. I'm
not kidding you. It's my favorite segment ever
on this show. Uh -huh. Okay. Per chicken, it
had nothing to do with anything. I can't believe
that came out of my bag of garbage. I guess I
lost more. Holy shit. Rob, you said it best.
It's a bag of garbage, right? It's a bag of garbage.
I don't know what else anyone expects. Thank
you, Rob. Holy shit. That's all I have on that
one, Mark. Okay. Is that it on your bag of...
That's fucking awesome, dude. Oh, my God. Dude,
all those chickens with his pants around their
ankles. Oh, that's hilarious. Oh, excellent.
All right. Is that all of your bag of garbage
for today? Yeah, yeah. All right. Yeah, I can't
do no more of that. Ain't nothing to top that
one. No, no, no. Matter of fact, we ought to
just end the show with that. But, Matt, we've
got to go through our second break. So, anyhow.
All right. Yeah. We will be right back, even
though you don't want us to be. All right. We'll
talk to you guys in a minute. The boll weevil
clap. Read up on that sometime. The boll weevil
clap, and this old guy that I knew that was in
Vietnam, I probably should say, well, you know
what? You can take this part out of here if you
like it, and we can put it somewhere. But this
old guy that I knew down the road from me. It
was in Vietnam. He told me that one day, you
know, him and a couple of guys got a day off
from the war, so they went into the nearest town
to go look for some hookers. You know, they're
like, you know, if we're going to die, we're
going to get laid. So, okay, all right. So they
go in there, and I guess the Viet Cong loaded
the prostitutes full of this stuff called the
boll weevil clap. Yeah. Oh, it is. So anyhow,
he said, you know, they all went and, you know,
did what they needed to do. You know, they thought
they were all going to die. So they went and
they got laid. And the next day, when a guy comes
in, he goes, oh, my God. He goes, I hurt so bad.
You know, my fucking dick hurts like hell. My
stomach hurts. I think I'm going to die. What
did they do with those damn hookers? So anyhow,
and he started hurting really bad. He said it
hurt so bad you could hardly breathe. You could
feel it in your dick shaft. It hurt so bad. So
they all go in, and I guess it's like a horrible
infection. And if you don't get it treated, it
will kill you. Like, you know, go up your scrotum
and your testicles. And anyhow, the only cure
back then was is they had to take this glass
rod and shove it in the end of your penis. and
mash it with a rubber mallet. And then you have
to physically squeeze all the infection out of
your penis. I've heard of this. Yes. And this
took like four hours of mashing this rod and
then squeezing all the infection out because
if they don't get all the infection out right
then... It just flares right back up. Yes. Seals
your pee -pee shut. Yes. Yeah, that was the old
joke of, you know, if you catch VD, your dick's
going to turn black and fall off. But there are
actually STDs. That was the worst case scenario,
yeah. It actually will turn black and fall off
because the tissue will die. Yeah, it's kind
of like a Gann Green type of deal, you know,
or something like that. So anyhow, yeah, he said
after that, he said, no, no more hookers. Tomorrow
morning, while grinding your coffee beans for
your double mocha latte, remember to not get
your genitals caught in the grinder. It really
hurts, and who can afford plastic surgery? Stay
safe, everyone. And now, Deep Thoughts with Mark.
Hmm. If I was to speak into a megaphone backwards,
would it then sound like a whisper? Hmm. I may
never know. Ms. Gulkenstein was tired of Mark
and Toe for making sport of her. Little did the
douchebags know Ms. Gulkenstein was a voodoo
high priestess when she was younger. She grew
angry and cast a spell on Rob, changing Rob into
a capuchin monkey. Mark took Rob to a local zoo
so he could be with the other monkeys. Here are
the adventures of Rob. The Capuchin Monkey. Shh.
Be very quiet. We're going to listen in as Rob
the Capuchin Monkey tries to sell the rest of
the Capuchin Monkey's Amway. Rob has always dreamed
of becoming a Diamond Status Amway as a Capuchin
Monkey. Little did our hero Rob know. All the
great apes owned stock in Sam's Club and became
violently pissed off when he tried to infringe
on their territory. They promptly grabbed switches
and beat his ass for three days straight. Rob
could not sit down. Hey, my fellow heavy breathers.
This is Dash Riptide with your music news. For
a nerd to take center stage on Stranger Things
float at Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. I remember
the infamous Kiss float years ago where the large
Gibson guitar on their float was replaced with
a much smaller ugly one. Paul was seen mincing
and bitching. So in other words, he was being
normal. George Thorogood has announced a world
tour. Minus the rest of the world. It kicks off
March 8th. Thousand Oaks, California, March 10th.
Napa, California, March 17th. Kamloops, California,
March 19th. Parkland, California. It ends in
Fort Wayne on March 31st with a Hamilton, Canada,
three days later. And that appears to be all
they tour as of date. He is 150, so he probably
is not going to tour more than that. This is
Gash Ruktine, and that was your music news. If
it's too loud, you probably have ear damage,
just like me. Hey, dickhead, no one gives an
ounce of shit what you had for breakfast. Not
even the person on the other end. You look like
a mentally slow driv yelling into thin air all
through the store. I pray that Bluetooth shorts
out and blows up your eardrums. What men consider
self -centered dunce. Monty constantly coddled
this dummy and it fucking shows. Go look back
home and bore your dog. Wait, you probably forgot
the thieving because you're too busy looking
in the mirror all day. Fuck off. My mechanic
told me I couldn't repair your brakes. So I made
you horn ladder. Good job. Two douchebags and
microphone in an effort to keep everything fresh.
We offer you first world problems. The ATM wants
me to make a new PIN number for security purposes.
I don't have an extra two minutes. I need my
Starbucks. I'm having the worst day ever. Hey,
all you ginger snaps. It's time for the douchebag
question of the week. Turn all answers into two
douches at mail .com. Spell out the number two.
Send in your replies or Rob will find you. He
is waiting for the word. Don't be bashful. You'll
get yourself hurt. Your alarm goes off. You sleep
through it. You wake up and have little time
to get ready for work. Because of your sleepiness,
you are pressed for time. So you have to double
task. The question, is it gross to brush your
teeth while taking a dump? Submit your answers
to 2douches at mail .com. Oh shit, what's that
over there? Oh no, it's this island of horrible
jokes. Ugh! Hey, if you're a fan of paying way
too much for trinkets and food, well your wish
is coming true. Kansas City International Airport
Guest Pass program is starting today. Yes, you
too could overspend on workless trinkets and
$15 cups of coffee. You want to buy a $50 cheap
t -shirt that has KC Western Auto Building image
on it? We got you covered. Want a barbecue sauce
gift pack? No problem. Just a mere $40 on your
first morning. Hurry, you know Rubes are jumping
all over to get to this complete ripoff. Because
people are sheep. During Nine Inch Nails concert
at the Oakland Arena on August 6, 2025, Frontman
Trent Reznor was doused by a leaking fog machine.
The incident happened while performing Sin, and
Reznor responded, I'm trying to play it cool
up here. It's the first time that's ever happened
in my life, so thank you for sharing that with
me. The incident occurred at the start of the
North American leg of the Peel It Back Tour,
their first tour since 2022. The tour's title
references their 1994 song, March of the Pigs.
Two douchebags and microphone. I'm Mark here
in the Kansas City area, and it's what I like
to call the Talk is Cheap studio. And I like
to make goat noises. And that's about it. We
turn to Rob. And I am Rob in Wheeler, Missouri,
home of the magnificent Lucas Oil Speedway and
Water Race Track. Okay. Let's get it two down
long, dude. I know, that's why I kind of took
mine down a notch. It's kind of like a... I don't
know if I can, man. I know. Yours, though, I
think you've got to keep it like this. I just
keep ramping mine up. Yeah, just don't add any
more to it. Just keep it like that. I think it's
perfect. And especially magnificent and beautiful,
the way you stress them. It's great. Can't go
wrong. So, Ron. Well, it's a town of less than
400 people. Come on. You've got to brag it up.
You've got to do something. You've got to brag
it up. And that's all they've got. Other than
that, Casey's and Hickamose. That's it. And Hickamose
is a great place to hide your car during a severe
hail storm slash tornado. Yeah. Yeah, ask my
friend Mark and Sherry. They found that out.
Alrighty. Have you ever heard of a concrete battery,
Rob? No, I have not. Neither have I. That's why
I'm covering this. Or it's also called electron
conducting carbon concrete. It is a revolutionary
building material that integrates energy storage
into concrete itself, turning structures like
walls and sidewalks into large -scale multifunctional
super capacitors or batteries. Yeah. Yeah, you
can have walls that are actually becoming batteries
and producing energy for you. Isn't that something?
This is a game changer. They can do this. I mean,
the first thing that came by was like the geothermal.
Energy and all that, you know, you can actually,
you can have a house in the middle of nowhere.
If you dig down far enough, you can use the energy
from the earth to heat and cool your house and
even conduct some electricity solar -wise. So
this is a game changer, this thing right here,
because you can do this anywhere. Turning structures
like walls and sidewalks into large -scale multifunctional
supercapacitators or batteries, like I said,
researchers at MIT and other institutions are
developing it. by adding conductive carbon, like
carbon black, and electrolytes to cement. Creating
a nanonetwork for storing electricity, offering
a potentially sustainable, long -lived alternative
to traditional batteries for renewable energy
storage. Isn't that something? Like I said, this
is a game -changer right here. It can turn massive
structures or buildings, roads. into energy storage
units, potentially meeting daily household energy
needs with just a basement wall. Isn't that something?
Or roads. Think about roads. If they can conduct
energy on roads, then they can probably find
a way to introduce that to your vehicle, right?
So that would make an electric car feasible.
Instead of having to rely on coal -powered plants
to generate the electricity for the car, this
is a game -changer. Yeah, I'm sorry. I still
find electric cars useless. That's my opinion.
No, that's fine. That's fine. I would be okay
with electric cars, but it'd have to be something
like this. You can't use, in my opinion... You
can't use coal power because all you're doing
is you're doing something different but coming
out with the same outcome. So this is a game
changer. Hydrogen has always been a game changer,
but evidently no one paid him enough from the
hydrogen people to go along with it. It uses
non -flammable electrolytes, making it safer
for some lithium -ion batteries, which is excellent
because lithium -ion batteries are not safe.
Well, they're safe if people use them, right?
But they don't. And is resistant to overcharging,
leverages the world's most used building material,
potentially reducing reliance on scarce battery
minerals like lithium, and lowering emissions
by integrating energy storage directly into infrastructure.
That is really damn cool. And I got more, but
that's all we need to know about this. What do
you think, Rob? Do you got any ideas on this?
I know you don't like electric cars, but how
about anything else? No, I do not. No, I... Actually,
I don't even like gas cars anymore, to be honest,
because they put too much crap on them. You see,
my hands have changed my starter the other day.
You can't hardly change anything anymore, and
they... Yeah, you can't get to nothing. You know,
they... I could sit down inside an engine...
They claim it's because it's more efficient,
but I can tell you what I think it is. No, no,
they don't want you working on it. They want
you to go the dealer. Because a lot of, like
my warranty was ruined. Yep. No, I... I think
I agree with you, Rob. Yeah. Yep. Anyhow, all
right. Well, that's all that story. You got something
you want to go into? Yeah, something I've got
to clarify for our friends in Arkansas. Okay.
We're circling online and across social media
platforms in recent weeks. For our friends in
Arkansas, those claims were false. The state
law has not changed in that manner. Under current
Arkansas law, the first offense to DWI remains
a misdemeanor, not a felony. While a conviction
could still result fine. It's his third or fourth,
one of the two. I think it's fourth, actually,
isn't it? You know what? I don't know. The laws
have changed. Okay. 2005 not January 1st applies
not only in Oklahoma under Oklahoma's updated
statute the first DUI may be charged as a felony
if aggravating circumstances exist such as an
involvement in a crash reckless behavior attempting
to flee law enforcement driving with Okay. So,
but, yeah, so, our son, don't worry. You're still
a misdemeanor for now. Okay. But don't push it.
Yeah, yeah. You don't need to go to jail. You
don't need to spend five grand on all this and
have insurance that's outrageous for years. Yeah,
just don't do it. A chance of hurting someone.
Oh, did I say that? I heard nothing. You know
what I heard, Rob? I heard it's a beautiful day
out there. That's what I heard. Did you? Yeah,
that's what I heard. Okay. All right. No one
believed that, including us. Yeah. Alright, I
got one more story here, and then you can do
another one if you want, or we can end this.
It depends on you, because you've got to get
up so early. Well, I've got to get up early.
Yeah, well, I'm probably going to let you in.
Okay. Alright, robot versus cock legislation.
Believe me, I'm going somewhere with this. The
concept of robot versus rooster cock fighting
is a... Not quite what people think I'm doing,
but anyhow. Robot versus rooster cockfighting
is a recent and controversial legislative idea
that has been debated in Oklahoma where a proposed
bill sought to create a specific legal exemption
for non -harmful matches between live fowl and
a robot. The idea of using a robot stems from
a desire by some advocates to provoke a legal
nonviolent alternative that scores points like
a boxing match without causing physical harm
to the bird. Proposed legislation, Oklahoma House
Bill 1326, introduced in 2025, aimed to allow
cockfights where a robot does not injure the
live fowl. The bird did not pass in the house,
but remains alive for 2026 session. I'm for it.
I've never liked cockfighting. I've always thought
it was excessively cruel. It doesn't matter how
you think about birds. You can think of them
as like a simple being or whatever the thing
is. They are alive and they feel and they hurt.
And it's not right to put something through that
for your own amusement. So I love this bill.
I hope it goes through. I hope it passes. You
know what, Rob? That's a great point. That's
a great point, actually, Rob. Thank you. Wow,
I never considered that until you said that.
Yeah, yeah. If we could train him through that,
actually put him in fighting circumstances, but
if we could train him not to kill, I mean, maim
would be one thing, but we've got to get him
up and kill him. Yep. All right, everybody. Thank
you all for listening. Rob and I both have to
get up early. My new hours, I have to be in early
now, and there's no more of that going in at
10 stuff. So I will be waking up early with you.
So everybody, thank you for listening. We appreciate
it. Good night, assholes. Looks like this show's
over, kids. Mark has explosive diarrhea and can't
afford a wireless mic. Fear not, assholes. They'll
be back invading your ear holes soon.