WEBVTT

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Welcome again. We're happy you chose us. Come

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on in. Wash yourself off. Would you enjoy a bourbon

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and coke? There's a liquor store down the road.

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If you go, I need rolling papers. Well, since

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you're here, let's get this daily douchebag pledge

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out of the way. All right, bitches, swing your

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hips and pelvic thrust. Shout it out with me.

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I, Joe or Jane Listener, promise to download

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every podcast. I, Joe or Jane Listener, promise

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to make... All friends, family members, and workmates

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download the show. I, Joe or Jane Listener, promise

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to grab idle computers, work computers, friends

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computers, community computers, and other assorted

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phones and listening devices and download the

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show from there. I, Joe or Jane Listener, will

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download the show and constantly barrage everyone

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with show name and platforms. I, Joe or Jane

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Listener, promise to wear a chicken costume and

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scream the show's name from my front yard. And

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finally, because of our 13 -year -old boy humor,

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you must go to Knobloch Cooter Licking in Uranus,

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Missouri to take selfies with the signs. If you

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go to Uranus, go to the fudge factory. Yes, there's

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a fudge factory in Uranus. No joke. Here at Two

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Douchebags and a Microphone, we don't stand behind

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our journalistic integrity. Go ahead and assume

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we got the story wrong. At least we admit it.

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Not like all those other guys. We can and will

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lie if it makes the story better. Two douchebags

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and a microphone. Hey, peeps, it's time for the

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police blotter. That's right. Stories about stupid

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criminals and the dumb assness that ensued. Let

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us begin now. A man in Daytona Beach, Florida,

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was attempting to evade police by hiding in a

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clothes dryer in a maid's room at a local motel.

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The maid went to turn on the dryer when she heard

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screaming inside the dryer. The police were right

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there still pursuing the man. When the maid opened

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up the dryer, a man bleeding profusely from his

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mouth and missing a few teeth had his shoes come

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off during the spin cycle and broke out his front

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four teeth. Hey there, slap nuts. It's time for

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the Creeps Music News. Hey, my little pumpkin

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seeds. This is Johnny Rohypnol with your music

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news. Dave Mustaine, the founding member of Megadeth,

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turns out to be a pretty decent guy. This next

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story is proof positive of such. Dave Mustaine

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is launching the Evergreen Sanctuary, a sprawling

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six -acre, multi -million dollar refuge tucked

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into the Malibu Hills. dedicated to abused and

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abandoned dogs. This isn't some feel -good shelter,

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the Megadeth founder says. It's a place for recovery,

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a place where damaged souls can breathe. This

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place features 24 -7 veterinary care, full rehabilitation,

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but most of all, respect. All these dogs have

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survived hell. They deserve a life where they're

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protected, understood, and never discarded again.

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Thank you, Mr. Mustaine. What a decent, great

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thing to do. Maybe more stars will get involved

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with us now that they see you started it. This

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is Johnny Rohypnol. That was your music news.

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And remember, bar chords are bullshit. Here we

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go. Signs that you might be a pussy. Signs that

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you might be a pussy. If you've ever had Phil

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Collins or Oingo Boingo posters on your wall.

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If you've ever raised your coffee mug or tea

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glass with your pinky extended. If you often

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lotion up your hands with no apparent reason.

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If you like poached eggs. If you sing along to

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Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. Or if you have ever

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wore a pair of Crocs, even just trying them out,

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you are a pussy. So you want proof that we love

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you here at QD Spades and Microphone Central?

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Here's a proof right here. How about the drink

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of the week? Pistachio Martini seems in order.

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Start off with two ounces vanilla vodka. One

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ounce pistachio liqueur. One ounce heavy cream.

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One half ounce simple syrup. One ounce of heavy

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cream chill martini glass in freezer for ten

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minutes. Dip the chilled glass rim in the simple

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syrup, then rub the rim in crushed pistachios.

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Fill a cocktail shaker with the vodka, liqueur,

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heavy cream, and simple syrup in the shaker.

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Shake vigorously, then strain the contents into

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the glass. You may garnish the rim of the martini

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glass with a sliced lemon and an olive, possibly.

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Drink up, bitches. Sir, I see your qualifications

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here. May I ask some further questions that could

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help me determine your employment eligibility?

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Yes, sir. I'm ready. Well, as you can see here,

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we have a large population of different ethnic

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backgrounds, sexuality, and ages. Are you by

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chance bilingual? Well, sir, I'm not sure why

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you need that kind of information, but, well,

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it was only one time in summer camp. I considered

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it experimental. Hey! This is Uncle Rob. I'm

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going to give you some tips for life. When you

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want to save a park bench, but you have to come

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back to it, just carry it with you inside, and

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bam, you'll have the bench all to yourself. Two

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douchebags and a microphone. I am Mark here in

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the Kansas City area at the Talk is Cheap studio.

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And I do goat noises. And I am Rob from Wheatland,

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Missouri. And I make those noises. Highway 54

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RV Park was actually shown on Ozark Law the other

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night. What? It was on Ozark Law. No, it's a

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different one. Oh, it is? Okay. It's got to be.

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Okay. Trust me, I would know if they were on

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Ozark Law. Okay, okay. Forget it then. All right.

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It had been another one. Okay, then it had to

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have been one down the road. Okay, forget it.

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All right. Yeah. All right. Yeah, that's right.

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All right. I didn't even think about that. I

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just saw Highway 54, and I saw the RV park, and

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I'm like, oh, hey, that's it. No, no, no, no.

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That's not this one. Trust me. I wouldn't know.

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Actually, I make sense now. That's all I'm saying.

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Trust me. I wouldn't know. Okay, they're Palme

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d 'Itar. All right. Okay, well, since we didn't

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get to the other night to this podcast, some

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of this stuff is a little dated, but I don't

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care. Yeah, okay. You want to celebrate New Year's,

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but don't care for bourbon? Well, Samuel Adams

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Brewery has your answer, Rob. This would be 30

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% alcohol beer. Wow. Yeah, yeah. The description

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says... It's not for me. I've had the really

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heavy alcohol beers before and the bourbon barrel

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aged. They're cute, but it's not something you

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want to drink regular. You might have a pint

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here or there, but it's not something that you're

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going to live by. It's not like your regular,

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hey, give me a Miller Lite or give me a Yin Ling

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or whatever. It's not that at all. This is like

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gadget beer. So anyhow, the Samuel Adams Utopias.

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2025 is a rare barrel -aged extreme beer with

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a record 30 % APV, which is alcohol by volume,

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making it one of the world's strongest beers.

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It's designed to be sipped like a spirit, and

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it's illegal to sell in 15 states due to its

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high alcohol content. Do you know that? They

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won't let beers go above a certain amount, and

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I think it's like 11 % or something like that.

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This non -carbonated brew is a blend of beers

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aged in spirit casts like whiskey, port, and

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cognac, and is sold in a distinctive copper kettle

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-shaped bottle for around $240 for 24 1⁄2 ounces.

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$240. Do you know any beer that's worth $240

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unless it's a truckload? I don't, including this.

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$240. No, no, I don't care about the copper kettle

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or none of that gadget shit. Nope. And the beer

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could be fucking angelic. But, $240, no. I could

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find a lot better things to do with that. So,

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Samuel Adams High Alcohol Utopia's beer is illegal

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in 15 states, like I said, including Alabama,

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Arkansas, Georgia, Idaho, Missouri, Mississippi,

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Montana, New Hampshire, North Carolina, Oklahoma,

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Oregon, South Carolina, Utah, Vermont, and West

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Virginia, due to state laws capping beer alcohol

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content with some limiting it as low as 14%.

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I believe that's what it is in Missouri, too.

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Then after that, you have to call it something

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else. You can't call it beer. You live in Missouri

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and you want one? Run over to Kansas. That's

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the closest liquor store because the volume alcohol

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will not let them sell it in a grocery store.

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So if you go to Kansas to buy it, go to a liquor

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store because you're not going to go to a Hy

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-Vee or a Dillon's or a Price Chopper and buy

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it there because this is considered a liquor

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and Kansas will not let you sell liquor in anything

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other than a liquor store. So if you go to Kansas

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to get it, remember that. Go to a liquor store.

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Don't go to Price Chopper or whoever. Hey, it's

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an hour and a half. Kansas is an hour and a half

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from me. So I might as well just go out and buy

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me a 12 -pack of Budweiser. Yeah, there you go.

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And you know what? I'm just going to go out and

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buy me a 12 -pack of Yenling and call it good.

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Yeah. Yeah, there we go. You're a lot closer

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to State Line than I am. Yeah, I could spin on

00:11:49.460 --> 00:11:53.309
State Line from where I'm at. I am literally

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just on the other side of Leawood. Yeah, I know.

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Yeah, I kind of mapped it out in my head. You

00:12:03.750 --> 00:12:05.409
know about where I'm at. I mean, you've been

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around these parts. Yeah, I know about it. All

00:12:07.710 --> 00:12:11.110
right. All right. Since this is a little bit

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older and I didn't get to this, do you know any

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Heathers, Rob? Unfortunately. Okay. Well, if

00:12:25.860 --> 00:12:28.039
you know a Heather or two, it's time to celebrate

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them with the National Heather Day on December

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3rd. Like I said, this is a little bit dated,

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but I don't care. I'm going with it anyhow. Heather

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Day, also simply known as the 3rd of December

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or December 3rd, is an annual online trend created

00:12:42.340 --> 00:12:46.399
by social media users in 2020. It gained popularity

00:12:46.399 --> 00:12:50.690
after the release of Heather. by American singer

00:12:50.690 --> 00:12:53.929
-songwriter Conan Gray, whoever that is, where

00:12:53.929 --> 00:12:56.929
the first lyric is, I still remember, 3rd of

00:12:56.929 --> 00:13:01.330
December. Me in your sweater. All right, I don't

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know where the song goes from there, but it doesn't

00:13:03.230 --> 00:13:06.450
say anymore. So, the tradition involves simply

00:13:06.450 --> 00:13:08.889
gifting a sweater to a loved one on December

00:13:08.889 --> 00:13:11.769
3rd, regardless if it's a love interest or a

00:13:11.769 --> 00:13:15.389
friend. So, I think next year on December 3rd,

00:13:15.389 --> 00:13:19.379
what are we doing, Rob? We're giving each other

00:13:19.379 --> 00:13:22.080
a sweater. We're giving each other a sweater

00:13:22.080 --> 00:13:25.000
is what we're doing, right? To celebrate Heather's

00:13:25.000 --> 00:13:28.159
Day. It says Heather. Heather with a sweater,

00:13:28.340 --> 00:13:36.000
yes. I'll embroider them. Yep. So, anyhow, so

00:13:36.000 --> 00:13:38.059
why you need to know that, I have no fucking

00:13:38.059 --> 00:13:40.139
idea, but I just let you know. Neither do I.

00:13:41.320 --> 00:13:43.659
That's what we do here. We fill your mind full

00:13:43.659 --> 00:13:47.070
of worthless shit so you can... Try to struggle

00:13:47.070 --> 00:13:48.929
to remember what you're going to do this afternoon.

00:13:49.490 --> 00:13:52.629
All right. So our police blotter segment told

00:13:52.629 --> 00:13:55.549
you about the man who was busted because he had

00:13:55.549 --> 00:13:58.549
a baggie in his front seat that said bag of drugs.

00:13:58.789 --> 00:14:01.850
Have you heard that one yet? No, I have not.

00:14:02.110 --> 00:14:06.750
Okay. Is that our criminal of the week? Yes,

00:14:06.769 --> 00:14:10.070
yes. That's what the police blotter section,

00:14:10.149 --> 00:14:12.169
I believe I told you that off of the program,

00:14:12.289 --> 00:14:16.519
right? About the new segment. And it just features

00:14:16.519 --> 00:14:18.940
a stupid criminal once a week, and it's called

00:14:18.940 --> 00:14:22.860
the police blotter section. Oh, yes, yes. Okay.

00:14:23.039 --> 00:14:26.519
You did tell me about that. Okay, yeah. So the

00:14:26.519 --> 00:14:29.440
guy was busted because, you know, the guy was

00:14:29.440 --> 00:14:31.360
getting ready to leave. The cop was getting ready

00:14:31.360 --> 00:14:34.919
to leave, and he looked over to the guy's left

00:14:34.919 --> 00:14:38.120
in the passenger seat, and he saw this bag that

00:14:38.120 --> 00:14:44.149
said, bag of drugs. So the cop was like. Maybe

00:14:44.149 --> 00:14:46.509
I want to take a look in there. And, of course,

00:14:46.570 --> 00:14:50.730
it was not like ibuprofen. It wasn't Tylenol.

00:14:50.970 --> 00:14:55.789
It wasn't Lisinopril. You know, it wasn't Omeprazole.

00:14:55.909 --> 00:15:01.610
It was drugs. Illegal drugs. So, anyhow, so now

00:15:01.610 --> 00:15:03.970
there's a woman who was arrested after having

00:15:03.970 --> 00:15:06.590
a baggie in her car that said, definitely not

00:15:06.590 --> 00:15:15.149
drugs. What the fuck? You write the article.

00:15:15.769 --> 00:15:18.450
I would have done, Rob. I would have labeled

00:15:18.450 --> 00:15:27.669
the bag dog feces specimen only. Yeah. Look over

00:15:27.669 --> 00:15:30.549
there and go, what's that dog shit? I've got

00:15:30.549 --> 00:15:32.509
to take you to the vet. Okay, all right. We'll

00:15:32.509 --> 00:15:35.509
see you guys later. Have a good day. Yeah, there's

00:15:35.509 --> 00:15:38.350
nothing after that, after you say it's a bag

00:15:38.350 --> 00:15:40.389
of dog shit. They ain't looking in there and

00:15:40.389 --> 00:15:42.629
smelling around. They're like, okay, I'll take

00:15:42.629 --> 00:15:46.789
your word. Or at least I would. The last three

00:15:46.789 --> 00:15:49.610
one -cent pennies ever minted by the U .S. government

00:15:49.610 --> 00:15:53.710
sold at auction on December 11th for $800 ,000.

00:15:55.289 --> 00:16:00.909
That's a pretty pricey penny. $800 ,000 for the

00:16:00.909 --> 00:16:03.730
last three one -cent pennies ever minted by the

00:16:03.730 --> 00:16:07.429
U .S. So that's somebody with more money than

00:16:07.429 --> 00:16:12.850
brains, right? So, on December 11th, the Sulfur

00:16:12.850 --> 00:16:15.509
800 ,000, the Associated Press reported, the

00:16:15.509 --> 00:16:18.970
winning bidder also received the three dyes that

00:16:18.970 --> 00:16:21.750
struck those coins. I've never been going...

00:16:21.750 --> 00:16:25.090
Oh, that's shit. Yeah, well, I mean, now I see

00:16:25.090 --> 00:16:27.350
how... That would be worth it there. That would

00:16:27.350 --> 00:16:29.529
be worth it there. To have the dyes, that would

00:16:29.529 --> 00:16:32.090
be. Man, that would look so good in the Talk

00:16:32.090 --> 00:16:34.330
is Cheap studio or the Duck Blind studio, wouldn't

00:16:34.330 --> 00:16:41.399
it? Oh, my God, yes. Yeah. Had to do that. All

00:16:41.399 --> 00:16:45.320
right. So, let's see. Where the hell was I? I've

00:16:45.320 --> 00:16:48.720
been going to coin auctions for 40 years, and

00:16:48.720 --> 00:16:51.460
I've never seen anything like this. John Karkovich

00:16:51.460 --> 00:16:56.340
of Stax Bowers Galleries, where the auction was

00:16:56.340 --> 00:17:00.340
held. The penny was introduced in 1793, and at

00:17:00.340 --> 00:17:02.940
that time could buy a biscuit or a piece of candy.

00:17:03.539 --> 00:17:05.880
I think for a lot of people, the ending of production

00:17:05.880 --> 00:17:09.220
of cents for circulation is an item of nostalgia.

00:17:09.849 --> 00:17:12.930
Kirk of Ice said. And it is, I mean, you know,

00:17:12.930 --> 00:17:14.690
after pennies are gone for a while, people are

00:17:14.690 --> 00:17:17.269
going to start, you know, wanting to collect

00:17:17.269 --> 00:17:21.049
them and everything. So, anyhow, it had a great

00:17:21.049 --> 00:17:25.250
run, didn't it? We got a bunch. Yeah, since 1700s,

00:17:25.250 --> 00:17:27.630
I mean, it had a hell of a run. The penny had

00:17:27.630 --> 00:17:31.769
a great run, didn't it? Yeah, it did. Especially

00:17:31.769 --> 00:17:34.730
the last 20 years, it cost more to make a penny

00:17:34.730 --> 00:17:42.480
than it was worth. It costs like a dime to make.

00:17:43.240 --> 00:17:48.299
Well, the price to make it has been up for years.

00:17:48.819 --> 00:17:51.400
Yeah, and finally they decided... I'm actually,

00:17:51.599 --> 00:17:54.140
once I read that article, I was kind of shocked

00:17:54.140 --> 00:17:56.920
that we hadn't shut it down before. I've heard

00:17:56.920 --> 00:17:59.299
this for about 20 years now, that they're going

00:17:59.299 --> 00:18:01.039
to end the penny, they're going to end the penny,

00:18:01.220 --> 00:18:03.119
and then they're going to end the dollar. But

00:18:03.119 --> 00:18:06.400
they never did. No, they never did. It's just

00:18:06.400 --> 00:18:09.140
like daylight savings time. You're like, oh,

00:18:09.160 --> 00:18:11.140
okay, we're going to keep one time and not the

00:18:11.140 --> 00:18:13.720
other. We haven't figured it out yet. Hasn't

00:18:13.720 --> 00:18:18.220
happened yet. So, whatever. So, for New Year's

00:18:18.220 --> 00:18:22.640
Eve, Val found something really cool. Cannoli

00:18:22.640 --> 00:18:26.420
chips. Now, you love delicious cannolis, right?

00:18:26.460 --> 00:18:30.420
Like me? Yeah, I've heard of cannoli chips. Oh,

00:18:30.420 --> 00:18:34.700
you have? Yeah, I have. Yeah, I have heard of

00:18:34.700 --> 00:18:37.430
them. Okay, I didn't know they... I didn't know

00:18:37.430 --> 00:18:40.210
they existed. It's a plastic container. This

00:18:40.210 --> 00:18:42.349
is for everyone else. You know what it is. But

00:18:42.349 --> 00:18:44.569
this is a plastic container of cannoli shells

00:18:44.569 --> 00:18:47.390
that are cracked into chips. And in the middle,

00:18:47.410 --> 00:18:50.990
it has a tub of sweet ricotta cheese to dip your

00:18:50.990 --> 00:18:54.049
shells in. Just like a hummus kit where you have

00:18:54.049 --> 00:18:56.089
pita chips and the hummus in the middle of the

00:18:56.089 --> 00:18:59.710
dip, you know, to dip the chips in. So, man,

00:19:00.170 --> 00:19:05.200
that stuff was fantastic. You know. I'm so glad,

00:19:05.200 --> 00:19:07.079
you know, she got those because the day before

00:19:07.079 --> 00:19:09.160
I went to Corolla's Italian Market to buy some

00:19:09.160 --> 00:19:11.859
cannolis for the family on Christmas, or not

00:19:11.859 --> 00:19:14.440
Christmas, but New Year's, but they were closed.

00:19:15.220 --> 00:19:20.160
So that day in observance of New Year's, so I

00:19:20.160 --> 00:19:22.140
didn't have any cannolis at all that I wanted

00:19:22.140 --> 00:19:23.720
to bring home. And Val didn't know this, but

00:19:23.720 --> 00:19:25.740
that day is when she found the cannoli chip.

00:19:25.759 --> 00:19:27.799
She brought it home, and it tastes just like

00:19:27.799 --> 00:19:30.839
a fucking really good cannoli. Is it really?

00:19:31.220 --> 00:19:33.099
Yeah, yeah. Oh, they're really, really good.

00:19:33.160 --> 00:19:37.059
Awesome. I'd love to get my hand on a good cannoli.

00:19:37.380 --> 00:19:41.779
It's been years, man. Yeah. You can't get it

00:19:41.779 --> 00:19:47.680
around where I'm at. Well, you know what? When

00:19:47.680 --> 00:19:50.000
I finally see you one of these days, I will bring

00:19:50.000 --> 00:19:53.640
you some cannoli chips. Well, either that or

00:19:53.640 --> 00:19:56.039
I'll come up and see. Well, yeah, we've got to

00:19:56.039 --> 00:19:57.859
get together because I've still got to get you

00:19:57.859 --> 00:20:00.769
your shirts. Yeah. You know. Well, I'm still

00:20:00.769 --> 00:20:03.910
looking around for a laptop or a tablet around

00:20:03.910 --> 00:20:06.990
here that will work. But the two that I had in

00:20:06.990 --> 00:20:09.970
mind to give you won't fucking charge up anymore.

00:20:10.130 --> 00:20:12.369
And I think it's just because it sat there for

00:20:12.369 --> 00:20:14.390
so long and I didn't charge them up or nothing,

00:20:14.450 --> 00:20:17.569
didn't worry about them. I'm going to get set

00:20:17.569 --> 00:20:20.809
up. I'm going to get me a laptop. I'm going to

00:20:20.809 --> 00:20:25.230
get me a printer. Yeah, a printer is a shame.

00:20:30.670 --> 00:20:40.069
the other day. And just today with my new stepson's

00:20:40.069 --> 00:20:44.869
help, we got my desk up here. So I have my desk

00:20:44.869 --> 00:20:47.430
and my chair just like I did in the old studio

00:20:47.430 --> 00:20:54.930
now. So, yeah, it's a lot more comfortable. That's

00:20:54.930 --> 00:20:57.349
cool. Good. I'm glad you're getting it set up

00:20:57.349 --> 00:21:00.130
because that sounds like, you know, the Talk

00:21:00.130 --> 00:21:02.609
is Cheap studio, I have all this cool shit in

00:21:02.609 --> 00:21:05.529
here. Not only because I enjoy it and it's kind

00:21:05.529 --> 00:21:08.769
of a man cave, but also it gets me in the mood

00:21:08.769 --> 00:21:11.410
to do a podcast. And I think it's very important.

00:21:11.630 --> 00:21:15.569
I got two barns full of shit. Small barns. They're

00:21:15.569 --> 00:21:21.589
big sheds. Small barns. A lot of my shit's still

00:21:21.589 --> 00:21:31.000
outside. In my opinion... No, no, I told you

00:21:31.000 --> 00:21:34.539
my projects, I understand. Plus, plus all this

00:21:34.539 --> 00:21:40.619
driving we've been in. Oh, my God. She has a

00:21:40.619 --> 00:21:44.960
big car, and I got the douchebag mobile. Oh,

00:21:45.059 --> 00:21:49.079
my God, the mileage is going up. Oh, shit, the

00:21:49.079 --> 00:21:52.059
mileage. Well, you drive 45 minutes. Our grandkids'

00:21:52.279 --> 00:22:04.569
birthdays are December 17th. Uh -huh. Okay, well,

00:22:04.789 --> 00:22:08.430
my grandson is over at Lake of the Ozarks. Her

00:22:08.430 --> 00:22:12.690
granddaughter is up at Excelsior Springs. That's

00:22:12.690 --> 00:22:18.390
a pretty good territory to cover. Okay, and now,

00:22:18.509 --> 00:22:23.869
do you realize what dates I set? December 17th

00:22:23.869 --> 00:22:27.750
and 18th. What do we have next? Christmas. Yeah,

00:22:27.769 --> 00:22:33.950
the very busy time of the year. I mean, we haven't

00:22:33.950 --> 00:22:35.349
been telling everybody, but you've been telling

00:22:35.349 --> 00:22:37.450
me, so I know about it, but nobody else will

00:22:37.450 --> 00:22:42.630
know. Yeah, our poor vehicles need a break. We

00:22:42.630 --> 00:22:46.849
need to settle down. And, well, I've been on

00:22:46.849 --> 00:22:51.329
vacation for two and a half weeks. So I go back

00:22:51.329 --> 00:22:58.250
to work tomorrow, and I cannot wait. I get it.

00:22:58.309 --> 00:23:02.799
I get it. Hey, Rob. What is A .I. Tassiography?

00:23:06.119 --> 00:23:11.119
I do not know. Me neither. Hey, hey, new guy.

00:23:11.339 --> 00:23:15.720
Come over here, bitch. Now, explain what A .I.

00:23:15.859 --> 00:23:18.819
Tassiography is right now or you're fucking fired,

00:23:18.859 --> 00:23:23.400
you dickhead. Uh, hello. This is the new guy,

00:23:23.400 --> 00:23:26.619
and I guess these two dimwits want me to explain

00:23:26.619 --> 00:23:32.390
A .I. Tassiography to you? Okay, here it goes.

00:23:32.589 --> 00:23:35.730
AI tassiography is a recent social media trim

00:23:35.730 --> 00:23:38.170
where individuals upload images of their leftover

00:23:38.170 --> 00:23:41.750
tea leaves or coffee grounds to an AI chatbot

00:23:41.750 --> 00:23:45.769
such as ChatGPT and ask the AI to interpret the

00:23:45.769 --> 00:23:48.630
patterns as a form of fortune telling. How it

00:23:48.630 --> 00:23:50.849
works, the process generally involves these steps.

00:23:51.069 --> 00:23:53.650
Brewing a cup of loose -leaf tea or Turkish or

00:23:53.650 --> 00:23:56.309
Slash Greek coffee. Consuming the beverage and

00:23:56.309 --> 00:23:58.289
allowing the leftover sediment to settle into

00:23:58.289 --> 00:24:00.690
patterns. Taking a photo of the inside of the

00:24:00.690 --> 00:24:03.470
cup. Uploading the photo to an AI program and

00:24:03.470 --> 00:24:06.369
prompting it to provide a reading based on traditional

00:24:06.369 --> 00:24:10.190
interpretations. So, okay, there you guys go.

00:24:10.349 --> 00:24:12.369
Maybe these two dumb fucks will leave me alone

00:24:12.369 --> 00:24:18.099
now. But I doubt it. Man, man. Oh, it's cool.

00:24:18.319 --> 00:24:21.339
Man, that new guy. Jeez, man. What is his problem?

00:24:23.200 --> 00:24:26.799
He is a crappy old fucker. Yeah, he is. Gosh.

00:24:27.059 --> 00:24:29.180
I made him leave. I told him to get the fuck

00:24:29.180 --> 00:24:32.319
out of here. Jeez, man. I don't know. He might

00:24:32.319 --> 00:24:34.660
be fired again. We'll have to have a little discussion

00:24:34.660 --> 00:24:39.160
after this podcast about it, okay? Yeah, because

00:24:39.160 --> 00:24:42.579
I may have to get on Indeed and buy us a new

00:24:42.579 --> 00:24:45.440
one. I'm thinking that. I mean, he is like really,

00:24:45.579 --> 00:24:47.619
you know, he does a good job. He explains everything

00:24:47.619 --> 00:24:50.220
really well. But all that surliness and that,

00:24:50.299 --> 00:24:54.000
you know, that rolling of the eyes. He's an asshole.

00:24:54.240 --> 00:24:57.160
Yeah. I mean, he obviously can't stand us. I

00:24:57.160 --> 00:24:58.579
don't get it. We've been nothing but good to

00:24:58.579 --> 00:25:01.099
him. I mean, pencil shavings. You even gave him

00:25:01.099 --> 00:25:05.400
50 bucks. I gave him three bags of pencil shavings,

00:25:05.420 --> 00:25:10.380
Rob. Three bags. Oh, you loved it even. You gave

00:25:10.380 --> 00:25:13.220
him bonus even. I know. I was only supposed to

00:25:13.220 --> 00:25:15.400
give him one. I gave him three bags of pencil

00:25:15.400 --> 00:25:18.519
shavings. It was only supposed to be one. I know,

00:25:18.579 --> 00:25:21.420
and he's still mad. I don't know. All right.

00:25:21.740 --> 00:25:23.980
Come on, dude. You can start a fire with that.

00:25:24.940 --> 00:25:28.920
Yes. Fifty bucks, you can buy you a T -bone.

00:25:29.299 --> 00:25:32.359
There he goes. A T -bone on a fire. A T -bone

00:25:32.359 --> 00:25:35.500
on a fire. You can't beat that. Man, I don't

00:25:35.500 --> 00:25:37.519
know what his deal is. You know what? He's going

00:25:37.519 --> 00:25:39.440
to have fun looking for a job, isn't he? They'll

00:25:39.440 --> 00:25:42.279
hear him on here and go, What was your last employment?

00:25:42.480 --> 00:25:44.819
Two douchebags. No, no, no. Don't fill out an

00:25:44.819 --> 00:25:50.400
application. Just go. All right. Val and I can't

00:25:50.400 --> 00:25:53.019
really go on a cruise or overseas for the time

00:25:53.019 --> 00:25:55.339
being. You know, my mom's health and other family

00:25:55.339 --> 00:25:58.119
members' health makes it extremely hard to go

00:25:58.119 --> 00:26:00.859
too far, you know. I'm just glad that everybody

00:26:00.859 --> 00:26:02.880
I'm talking about is still around and everything.

00:26:03.180 --> 00:26:06.200
You know, it sucks failing health and stuff like

00:26:06.200 --> 00:26:09.180
that. And some of it is just age and you're not

00:26:09.180 --> 00:26:12.859
going to get better. So, you know. Oh, trust

00:26:12.859 --> 00:26:19.069
me. I know Prince's grandma is 94. So, yeah,

00:26:19.170 --> 00:26:21.450
we know all about it. Yeah, my uncle in Canada

00:26:21.450 --> 00:26:26.369
is 92. But that woman's up and going unless she

00:26:26.369 --> 00:26:28.890
breaks her foot in three places like she did.

00:26:29.170 --> 00:26:32.849
Oh, my uncle in Canada is the same way. He still

00:26:32.849 --> 00:26:36.130
gets around. He's 92 going on 93. He still gets

00:26:36.130 --> 00:26:39.869
around. Still does his own cooking. I think he

00:26:39.869 --> 00:26:41.829
was shoveling the snow off his sidewalk because

00:26:41.829 --> 00:26:44.230
they get a lot more snow up there. I mean, it's

00:26:44.230 --> 00:26:47.369
just insane. I hope I'm... half as active as

00:26:47.369 --> 00:26:51.869
he is and alive at 92. Yeah, well, her grandma

00:26:51.869 --> 00:26:56.049
lives across the street from us with her mom

00:26:56.049 --> 00:27:00.670
and dad. But her grandma still goes up to the

00:27:00.670 --> 00:27:03.750
community center and goes and dances and stuff.

00:27:04.230 --> 00:27:07.450
You see, that stuff keeps her young. Yeah. God

00:27:07.450 --> 00:27:11.210
bless her. She's dying to dance with me. Are

00:27:11.210 --> 00:27:12.769
you going to cut the leg with her? I have to

00:27:12.769 --> 00:27:14.490
make it happen. Are you going to cut the leg

00:27:14.490 --> 00:27:21.369
with her, Rob? Good. So anyhow, we can't go overseas,

00:27:21.509 --> 00:27:24.410
like I said, or even really do a cruise. So Val

00:27:24.410 --> 00:27:27.029
and I have been eyeing this Fort Lauderdale to

00:27:27.029 --> 00:27:31.509
Bimini Island Ferry. I think it's called Bimini

00:27:31.509 --> 00:27:33.369
or something like that. I think it's Bimini,

00:27:33.490 --> 00:27:36.410
but I call it Bimini. I've heard of it. Yeah,

00:27:36.690 --> 00:27:39.210
I've heard of it. It's just a small island, really

00:27:39.210 --> 00:27:41.210
pretty much off the coast. It's right before

00:27:41.210 --> 00:27:44.230
you get to the Bahamas, which is about 50 miles

00:27:44.230 --> 00:27:47.680
from the Keys. So when you stay in Fort Lauderdale,

00:27:47.720 --> 00:27:49.799
you can book a ferry to the island of Bimini.

00:27:49.980 --> 00:27:54.819
The island is a two -hour ferry ride. And you

00:27:54.819 --> 00:27:59.039
can go there and stay a couple of days at a couple

00:27:59.039 --> 00:28:01.539
of resorts that they have there. We've been checking

00:28:01.539 --> 00:28:03.519
out resorts and found a few nice ones. Plus,

00:28:03.559 --> 00:28:07.119
we can also podcast from one of these resorts

00:28:07.119 --> 00:28:10.819
because they all have Wi -Fi. So this is something

00:28:10.819 --> 00:28:12.920
that might be coming up because our next birthday,

00:28:13.119 --> 00:28:16.680
we're thinking about... doing something like

00:28:16.680 --> 00:28:18.980
that, if not before. I'm not sure because my

00:28:18.980 --> 00:28:22.039
birthday's in the heart of hurricane season.

00:28:22.579 --> 00:28:25.059
And, you know, you get insurance and stuff. But

00:28:25.059 --> 00:28:27.559
we've had trips fail before because of hurricanes.

00:28:27.920 --> 00:28:30.500
And it just sucks because you have the time off,

00:28:30.619 --> 00:28:33.000
you have all this stuff, you get everything aligned

00:28:33.000 --> 00:28:34.839
to where you can do it. And then all of a sudden

00:28:34.839 --> 00:28:36.720
it's like, nope, nope, nope, there might be a

00:28:36.720 --> 00:28:38.220
hurricane coming. And one time it was in New

00:28:38.220 --> 00:28:41.039
Orleans and it was a tropical storm. And it was

00:28:41.039 --> 00:28:43.470
just like, you know, there's... horrible weather

00:28:43.470 --> 00:28:45.470
everywhere flooding tornadoes and we're like

00:28:45.470 --> 00:28:48.529
we had to cancel it and we we've had other ones

00:28:48.529 --> 00:28:50.569
do it because they're under a tropical storm

00:28:50.569 --> 00:28:54.529
watch or a hurricane watch or whatever so it

00:28:54.529 --> 00:28:56.529
just sucks because you can get it all insured

00:28:56.529 --> 00:28:58.349
but the thing is you know what i mean rob you

00:28:58.349 --> 00:29:00.769
got your heart set on this day on these days

00:29:00.769 --> 00:29:03.670
right you have the time off and all of this stuff

00:29:03.670 --> 00:29:05.329
and then all of a sudden you can't go and you

00:29:05.329 --> 00:29:07.410
got to kick it down the road and then a lot of

00:29:07.410 --> 00:29:10.400
times you can't find a good spot so I think we're

00:29:10.400 --> 00:29:12.359
going to probably do it before my birthday. And

00:29:12.359 --> 00:29:14.680
my birthday, we might do like a safe option,

00:29:14.759 --> 00:29:18.960
like go to Eureka Springs or possibly maybe Tennessee,

00:29:19.180 --> 00:29:21.299
the Smoky Mountains or something. You know, we'll

00:29:21.299 --> 00:29:23.299
figure it out. Dude, yeah, I would love that.

00:29:23.440 --> 00:29:27.599
Oh, the Smoky Mountains. But if you want like

00:29:27.599 --> 00:29:35.039
the ocean type vibe, I have an alternative for

00:29:35.039 --> 00:29:37.420
you. Oh, yeah? I don't know if you've considered

00:29:37.420 --> 00:29:44.869
it. What? Off the coast of California. Yeah,

00:29:44.869 --> 00:29:46.930
yeah, yeah. We were supposed to go there. They're

00:29:46.930 --> 00:29:52.809
still far in the States, you know. Okay. Just

00:29:52.809 --> 00:29:55.609
an idea. Just check it out there. No, that's

00:29:55.609 --> 00:29:58.509
a good idea. That is a good idea. We were supposed

00:29:58.509 --> 00:30:00.410
to go there, and I was going to check it out,

00:30:00.430 --> 00:30:03.309
actually, for resorts and stuff, but it was canceled

00:30:03.309 --> 00:30:07.779
because Catalina Island, the waves. Just because

00:30:07.779 --> 00:30:10.140
they outlayed the ocean and the island and where

00:30:10.140 --> 00:30:13.160
it is off of the coast, the waves get pretty

00:30:13.160 --> 00:30:15.339
rough there. I mean, kind of like in San Francisco

00:30:15.339 --> 00:30:21.299
and Alcatraz. So we couldn't dock there, so they

00:30:21.299 --> 00:30:24.980
canceled that part of the trip. Okay. Well, it

00:30:24.980 --> 00:30:27.640
was just not just throwing it out there. No,

00:30:27.640 --> 00:30:30.019
no, no. I love the idea, and what I'm saying

00:30:30.019 --> 00:30:32.160
is I want to get a little bit better read on

00:30:32.160 --> 00:30:34.059
the resorts. You know what? I'll check it out.

00:30:34.099 --> 00:30:36.089
I'll get back with you. That's a good... You

00:30:36.089 --> 00:30:41.190
can fly in there or whatever, you know. You know

00:30:41.190 --> 00:30:44.170
what? I learned about it through a guy that I

00:30:44.170 --> 00:30:47.869
used to work with. He was stationed in the Navy

00:30:47.869 --> 00:30:51.109
in Cavalier Island. Yeah, it's a beautiful island.

00:30:51.369 --> 00:30:54.430
It's desert, but it's still beautiful. I mean,

00:30:54.450 --> 00:30:57.690
I love Aruba and Curacao and Bon Air, and they're

00:30:57.690 --> 00:31:00.490
all desert, too. Desert islands are not that

00:31:00.490 --> 00:31:11.059
bad. They're usually pretty nice. Yeah. That's

00:31:11.059 --> 00:31:14.740
good. Yeah. No, I'll tell you what. Everybody

00:31:14.740 --> 00:31:17.000
check it out because I'm going to be checking

00:31:17.000 --> 00:31:20.420
it out. Thank you. Appreciate it, Rob. That's

00:31:20.420 --> 00:31:23.519
a great example or a great thought. All right.

00:31:24.000 --> 00:31:26.019
I'm going to go. I got more stuff, but like always,

00:31:26.180 --> 00:31:27.839
let's go ahead and go to you because we're like

00:31:27.839 --> 00:31:33.440
20 -some minutes deep. Okay. Well, I'm going

00:31:33.440 --> 00:31:36.140
to step into the wrestling world. All right.

00:31:36.319 --> 00:31:38.029
Sounds good to me. All right. I haven't heard

00:31:38.029 --> 00:31:45.049
that in a while. Yeah. Well, I'm going to talk

00:31:45.049 --> 00:31:49.710
about Chris Jericho. Okay. Well -known wrestler.

00:31:50.069 --> 00:31:53.569
Mm -hmm. A great podcaster, too. Yeah. Yeah.

00:31:53.589 --> 00:31:56.710
He's a great podcaster. Oh, he has an awesome

00:31:56.710 --> 00:31:59.829
band, Fozzy. Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's

00:31:59.829 --> 00:32:09.619
right. Yep. Yeah. Yeah. Fozzy. I do like Fozzie,

00:32:09.619 --> 00:32:12.880
and I also like Talk is Jericho podcast. It's

00:32:12.880 --> 00:32:14.980
one of the best interviews I've ever heard of

00:32:14.980 --> 00:32:18.259
Jakey Lee. I mean, he really got stuff out of

00:32:18.259 --> 00:32:21.519
him that was really, really good. Jericho, I

00:32:21.519 --> 00:32:24.660
didn't know he was that good of a podcaster,

00:32:24.779 --> 00:32:26.579
but anyhow, go ahead with your story. Sorry.

00:32:26.900 --> 00:32:31.440
Oh, he's just good with the public. He really

00:32:31.440 --> 00:32:37.970
is. Oh, he is. He's very good. Yes, that's a

00:32:37.970 --> 00:32:41.670
great, great pair. Very charismatic. Yep. So,

00:32:41.670 --> 00:33:28.539
well, his contract is up with AEW. Mm -hmm. They

00:33:28.539 --> 00:34:13.699
could use him. Mm -hmm. Matches, right off the

00:34:13.699 --> 00:34:19.280
bat, he could be getting in on. Okay, the first

00:34:19.280 --> 00:34:25.380
one is CM Punk. Uh -huh. Let's get the easy one

00:34:25.380 --> 00:34:27.780
out of the way first. Yep. There's a storied

00:34:27.780 --> 00:34:31.179
history between CM Punk and Jericho and WWE.

00:34:31.599 --> 00:34:44.690
Yes. I didn't know that okay yeah considering

00:34:44.690 --> 00:34:51.570
how WWE hasn't been shy to lean into Punk's polarizing

00:34:51.570 --> 00:34:56.389
exit from AEW in the past one last feud with

00:34:56.389 --> 00:35:13.110
Jericho would certainly create I could too. I

00:35:13.110 --> 00:35:16.750
could too. Yeah, because if Jared goes to come

00:35:16.750 --> 00:35:20.869
in, he's at the end of his era. I mean, he's

00:35:20.869 --> 00:35:24.170
going to be ready to hand it off to somebody.

00:35:54.150 --> 00:35:57.829
And it's no wonder he was among the first feuds

00:35:57.829 --> 00:36:02.250
for Cody Rhodes and Punk upon their return to

00:36:02.250 --> 00:36:07.750
the company. Once Rollins is cleared, likely

00:36:07.750 --> 00:36:12.789
after WrestleMania, Rollins seems like an inevitable

00:36:12.789 --> 00:36:18.630
feud for Jericho. Yeah, I see that one too. I

00:36:18.630 --> 00:36:34.880
do too. So, yeah, I could see that one. Yeah,

00:36:34.880 --> 00:36:41.679
I could too. Okay, next. Cody Rhodes. Yes. Yes,

00:36:41.739 --> 00:36:45.019
absolutely. Yeah, you know where I'm going with

00:36:45.019 --> 00:36:50.219
this one. Yes, I do. Similar to Paul, an expectation

00:36:50.219 --> 00:36:55.000
should be that WWE will lean into Jericho's run

00:36:55.000 --> 00:37:41.210
with AEW. Of course they're going to. Yeah. Yeah,

00:37:41.210 --> 00:37:47.690
oh yeah. I can see that. And lastly in this list,

00:37:48.130 --> 00:37:58.150
Gunther. Who? Gunther. The one that just took

00:37:58.150 --> 00:38:05.469
out John Cena. Yeah. Okay, did you hear about

00:38:05.469 --> 00:38:10.679
that? No, no. John Cena's final match. I haven't.

00:38:10.679 --> 00:38:43.000
Go ahead. I did not. I did not. He handed the

00:38:43.000 --> 00:38:49.920
torch. And in the storyline you see that. But

00:38:49.920 --> 00:38:56.039
this is for Chris Jericho. And here comes Gunther

00:38:56.039 --> 00:39:02.179
again. It is very clear what WWE is doing for

00:39:02.179 --> 00:39:06.880
Gunther. Establishing him as the new legend killer.

00:39:13.079 --> 00:39:16.400
And chances are he will be the one to put down

00:39:16.400 --> 00:39:21.659
Brock Lesnar for good next summer. Yeah, that

00:39:21.659 --> 00:39:26.599
battle's coming too. Okay. That sounds good.

00:39:27.420 --> 00:39:31.860
Chances are in Jericho's last match, Guto will

00:39:31.860 --> 00:39:35.900
be the one to send him out. I think you're right.

00:39:44.010 --> 00:40:15.780
Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm. Okay. All

00:40:15.780 --> 00:40:19.280
right. That is the list of the people that Chris

00:40:19.280 --> 00:40:23.300
Jericho could very well face when he comes back

00:40:23.300 --> 00:40:28.619
to the WWE. Yes, he comes back. Okay. Allegedly.

00:40:29.380 --> 00:40:32.420
Allegedly. All right. Thank you, Rob. Let's take

00:40:32.420 --> 00:40:34.719
our first break. I got some emails. Sound good?

00:40:35.920 --> 00:40:38.500
Sounds awesome. All right. We shall be right

00:40:38.500 --> 00:40:43.389
back, whether you like it or not. look in on

00:40:43.389 --> 00:40:46.250
the adventures of the technical explanation guy.

00:40:47.230 --> 00:40:51.050
Why, excuse me, my dear sir. Could you please

00:40:51.050 --> 00:40:53.809
direct me to the nearest self -employed person

00:40:53.809 --> 00:40:56.489
in a motorized vehicle that will transport me

00:40:56.489 --> 00:40:58.530
where I ask them to in exchange for money and

00:40:58.530 --> 00:41:02.949
a tip? Do you mean an Uber ride? Why, yes. Yes,

00:41:03.030 --> 00:41:06.469
I do mean an Uber ride. Then just say an Uber

00:41:06.469 --> 00:41:08.510
ride, you dumb motherfucker. And why are you

00:41:08.510 --> 00:41:10.650
constantly following me around asking me stupid

00:41:10.650 --> 00:41:20.639
questions? Strange, but true. In early 2018,

00:41:21.179 --> 00:41:24.099
Tupac Shakur's former bodyguard, Michael Nice,

00:41:24.360 --> 00:41:26.719
begged his own death for a little over a year

00:41:26.719 --> 00:41:29.719
to prove that Tupac could have done the same.

00:41:32.420 --> 00:41:35.099
This is Joshua Belmont, your food for thought

00:41:35.099 --> 00:41:38.139
man on The Hustle. So I just realized a genius

00:41:38.139 --> 00:41:41.019
that gets absolutely no credit. His name is Marshall

00:41:41.019 --> 00:41:43.699
Taylor. He is credited with the first bag of

00:41:43.699 --> 00:41:46.630
salad mix that was bagged and sold. Yesterday

00:41:46.630 --> 00:41:49.989
was his birthday. I believe he is still alive.

00:41:50.449 --> 00:41:53.050
This guy's genius will never be fully appreciated.

00:41:53.469 --> 00:41:56.309
Before this man, we settled for iceberg lettuce

00:41:56.309 --> 00:41:58.469
with maybe a couple of croutons and some cheese.

00:41:58.989 --> 00:42:01.989
Was Mr. Taylor satisfied with that? Hell no.

00:42:02.289 --> 00:42:04.610
He realized that Billy Americana would never

00:42:04.610 --> 00:42:06.710
go out and buy a couple of radishes, a couple

00:42:06.710 --> 00:42:09.429
of carrots, a head of purple cabbage, maybe snow

00:42:09.429 --> 00:42:11.590
peas, and possibly some cute romaine lettuce

00:42:11.590 --> 00:42:15.469
for extra bougie. Mr. Taylor. You should have

00:42:15.469 --> 00:42:20.670
a national holiday. You watch the news. It looks

00:42:20.670 --> 00:42:24.690
grim. Is an apocalypse inevitable? We suggest

00:42:24.690 --> 00:42:27.849
you download all our podcasts beforehand and

00:42:27.849 --> 00:42:31.730
have multiple mobile chargers. We have the post

00:42:31.730 --> 00:42:37.070
-apocalypse. Remember, communication is essential

00:42:37.070 --> 00:42:40.530
post -apocalypse. You must have two radios that

00:42:40.530 --> 00:42:44.409
are solar chargeable. Have several on hand in

00:42:44.409 --> 00:42:48.110
case any of them do break. That way, if one is

00:42:48.110 --> 00:42:50.949
out guarding the perimeter of your property or

00:42:50.949 --> 00:42:55.429
out gathering food or whatever, you can stay

00:42:55.429 --> 00:42:58.050
in communication and know where the other person

00:42:58.050 --> 00:43:03.070
is. Your mama's so stupid, she tried to climb

00:43:03.070 --> 00:43:09.250
Mountain Dew. Jam X. What the hell happened?

00:43:10.530 --> 00:43:17.010
You were the general. of change. You never wanted

00:43:17.010 --> 00:43:22.510
to be one of them. Apathy spoke for you. Fuck

00:43:22.510 --> 00:43:27.110
the man. Fuck the system. What the hell happened?

00:43:27.869 --> 00:43:31.389
The generation of angst? The generation of non

00:43:31.389 --> 00:43:36.449
-compliance? Is now buying a boat? You're really

00:43:36.449 --> 00:43:38.630
fed up to kill someone who dangled a dollar near

00:43:38.630 --> 00:43:45.969
you? Great job, Xers. Everything's ruined. Have

00:43:45.969 --> 00:43:47.489
you ever wondered what something came about?

00:43:47.769 --> 00:43:49.829
Have you ever looked at something and said, Hmm,

00:43:49.949 --> 00:43:52.949
I wonder what the origin of that is? Well, so

00:43:52.949 --> 00:43:56.889
have we. That's why we give you The Origin Of.

00:43:57.610 --> 00:44:00.489
What is the origin of Mountain Dew? Tennessee

00:44:00.489 --> 00:44:03.110
bottlers Barney and Ally Hartman developed Mountain

00:44:03.110 --> 00:44:06.480
Dew as a mixer in the 1940s. Soft drinks were

00:44:06.480 --> 00:44:09.079
sold regionally in the 1930s, and the Hartmans

00:44:09.079 --> 00:44:11.440
had difficulty in Knoxville obtaining their preferred

00:44:11.440 --> 00:44:13.860
soda to mix with liquor, preferably whiskey,

00:44:13.960 --> 00:44:16.420
so the two developed their own now known as Mountain

00:44:16.420 --> 00:44:21.340
Dew. Since the dawn of time, weird shit has happened.

00:44:21.420 --> 00:44:24.760
Strange occurrences, unexplained phobias, and

00:44:24.760 --> 00:44:27.480
other odd happenings. Over the next minute, we

00:44:27.480 --> 00:44:30.079
would like to bring you odd, rare phobias and

00:44:30.079 --> 00:44:33.840
conditions. Perry -Romberg syndrome. Cause is

00:44:33.840 --> 00:44:37.079
unknown. No known cure, and extremely rare. Parts

00:44:37.079 --> 00:44:39.639
of the face slowly wither. Over years, muscles,

00:44:39.820 --> 00:44:42.059
skin, even bones, shrink on one side of the face,

00:44:42.099 --> 00:44:43.940
causing disfigurement when it stops progressing.

00:44:45.159 --> 00:44:47.940
People often ask, how do we cram so much money

00:44:47.940 --> 00:44:51.239
into one little show? Well, it's simple. We buy

00:44:51.239 --> 00:44:55.099
funny in bulk on the Internet. Hey, Mark, you're

00:44:55.099 --> 00:44:57.320
wanted at the front door. There's a big bag of

00:44:57.320 --> 00:45:00.610
funny they need you to sign for. Okay, thanks

00:45:00.610 --> 00:45:02.530
a lot. I'll be right there. I'm still sorting

00:45:02.530 --> 00:45:05.130
out the funny we got from yesterday. There's

00:45:05.130 --> 00:45:07.610
your answer. We buy funny in bulk on the internet.

00:45:08.250 --> 00:45:13.929
Next up, things overheard in hell. Gary Glitter

00:45:13.929 --> 00:45:31.000
has been named. Two douchebags, a microphone,

00:45:31.219 --> 00:45:34.320
a mark here in the Kansas City area at the Talk

00:45:34.320 --> 00:45:41.739
is Cheap studio. And I am Rob in Wheatland, Missouri,

00:45:41.940 --> 00:45:47.239
home of the magnificent Lucas Oil Speedway and

00:45:47.239 --> 00:46:10.289
water racetrack. I forgot to mention that. It

00:46:10.289 --> 00:46:13.349
makes me want to go there and camp out. Dude,

00:46:13.389 --> 00:46:19.170
I... It's restricted, but, you know, they have

00:46:19.170 --> 00:46:24.829
the rules. It's mainly for the Lucas Oil people.

00:46:25.150 --> 00:46:27.690
Yeah, you know what? I'm never going to make

00:46:27.690 --> 00:46:28.769
it down there and camp out. It's a beautiful

00:46:28.769 --> 00:46:32.849
place. Yeah. I'm looking at it right now. Oh,

00:46:32.929 --> 00:46:37.780
did I say that? If it's the same place I think

00:46:37.780 --> 00:46:41.380
of, we went down there for a race to meet some

00:46:41.380 --> 00:46:43.420
people we met on a cruise that lived over on

00:46:43.420 --> 00:46:45.340
the other side of St. Louis and the Illinois

00:46:45.340 --> 00:46:48.159
side. And I believe they might have stayed there.

00:46:48.980 --> 00:46:52.179
And they got there a day before. Like, chatty

00:46:52.179 --> 00:46:57.340
tour from the main entrance? Yes. As a matter

00:46:57.340 --> 00:47:00.139
of fact, a huge hailstorm and tornadoes came

00:47:00.139 --> 00:47:02.480
through there the day that they got there. It

00:47:02.480 --> 00:47:05.619
was horrible. And I think they had to take and

00:47:05.619 --> 00:47:09.940
park their car. And it was like a, maybe like

00:47:09.940 --> 00:47:15.019
a, oh, like a car wash or something. Is there

00:47:15.019 --> 00:47:20.619
a car wash around there? Yep. Okay. Yes. That

00:47:20.619 --> 00:47:24.079
was it. That's it then. Okay. All right. At Hickamoe's.

00:47:24.099 --> 00:47:27.659
At Hickamoe's. Yes. Yeah. Best store ever, dude.

00:47:27.840 --> 00:47:40.980
Best store. Yeah, they, before the tornado came

00:47:40.980 --> 00:47:43.699
just south of them over there, kind of near Palme

00:47:43.699 --> 00:47:46.559
d 'Itar Lake itself, before that tornado came

00:47:46.559 --> 00:47:48.699
through, there was, like, golf ball and softball

00:47:48.699 --> 00:47:51.059
-sized hail. So they were smart enough to go

00:47:51.059 --> 00:47:53.260
straight there and put their car underneath there.

00:47:53.300 --> 00:47:56.219
Everyone else got their cars just hammered because

00:47:56.219 --> 00:47:59.360
it was in, I believe, early June or late May,

00:47:59.500 --> 00:48:08.239
the race. So, all right. Okay, well. Yeah. Their

00:48:08.239 --> 00:48:13.420
RV park is literally in my backyard. Yeah. Literally.

00:48:13.539 --> 00:48:16.960
That's all I'm going to say. All right. All right.

00:48:16.960 --> 00:48:20.679
I got some emails here. All right. Mark, whether

00:48:20.679 --> 00:48:23.119
you copy another show or not, it still sucks.

00:48:23.400 --> 00:48:28.199
Go eat a razor blade. Clint in Arkansas. I thought

00:48:28.199 --> 00:48:30.019
we came to... Oh, you went back to Arkansas?

00:48:30.579 --> 00:48:35.909
Well, here. You kicked him out? Okay. Rob, Mitch

00:48:35.909 --> 00:48:38.690
finally screwed up. He sent this one from his

00:48:38.690 --> 00:48:41.090
real email address and said the fake one he made

00:48:41.090 --> 00:48:43.989
up for Clint. Whoever brought that to our attention,

00:48:44.230 --> 00:48:48.610
thank you. I got to reading it. It is Mitch.

00:48:48.869 --> 00:48:52.269
There is not a Clint. I'm certain of it now.

00:48:52.710 --> 00:48:54.969
Unless there was like an original Clint that

00:48:54.969 --> 00:48:57.409
was like a dick and then he kind of took over

00:48:57.409 --> 00:49:00.409
the identity. Yeah, he did like one or two and

00:49:00.409 --> 00:49:03.050
then Mitch took it over. Yeah, it could have

00:49:03.050 --> 00:49:05.070
been that. But I can tell you right now, this

00:49:05.070 --> 00:49:08.090
guy's Mitch. It was Mitch the whole time. Oh,

00:49:08.090 --> 00:49:10.650
I sent him an email back. The way he talks. The

00:49:10.650 --> 00:49:14.829
way he talks. I know. I know. And after whoever,

00:49:15.110 --> 00:49:17.530
I forgot. I apologize. I can't remember. After

00:49:17.530 --> 00:49:19.789
whoever sent us that message saying they're the

00:49:19.789 --> 00:49:23.789
same person, I started noticing, you know what?

00:49:23.849 --> 00:49:26.690
The way they talk, what they say is almost identical.

00:49:27.210 --> 00:49:30.389
Yep. So. All right. Well, Mitch has been figured

00:49:30.389 --> 00:49:33.230
out. Oh, I mean Mitchell. Mitchell. has been

00:49:33.230 --> 00:49:37.510
figured out. Mitchell! Yeah, old Mitchell. All

00:49:37.510 --> 00:49:40.510
right, Mark, let me get this straight. You don't

00:49:40.510 --> 00:49:42.510
care that the Chiefs are moving out of Jackson

00:49:42.510 --> 00:49:45.489
County? You live in that county, correct? Jan

00:49:45.489 --> 00:49:47.809
and Casey, Missouri. Absolutely, I do not care.

00:49:47.949 --> 00:49:50.110
And the reason is, is we can't afford them over

00:49:50.110 --> 00:49:53.090
here. We cannot afford them. Our taxes are going

00:49:53.090 --> 00:49:55.510
to I don't know what kind of stupid shit. So,

00:49:55.510 --> 00:49:59.469
I mean, the roads are like fucking Swiss cheese.

00:50:00.670 --> 00:50:03.260
Mark, can I break your heart? Yeah, go ahead.

00:50:04.360 --> 00:50:07.019
You're also going to pay to get rid of Arrowhead.

00:50:07.760 --> 00:50:12.219
No, I know. I know. Look. Your tax money. Your

00:50:12.219 --> 00:50:14.480
tax money. I know. You're going to pay to get

00:50:14.480 --> 00:50:17.679
rid of the Arrowhead that's still standing. No,

00:50:17.679 --> 00:50:22.679
I know. So, yeah. Look, Kansas City has dropped

00:50:22.679 --> 00:50:25.739
the ball. Missouri has dropped the ball. And,

00:50:25.840 --> 00:50:28.400
okay, let's say everything is off the table.

00:50:28.480 --> 00:50:31.000
You know, we've got to tear down Arrowhead and

00:50:31.000 --> 00:50:33.719
all that. It's not just the money. It's also

00:50:33.719 --> 00:50:38.000
what they're doing over there in Kansas. They

00:50:38.000 --> 00:50:40.079
are more unified. Their government's unified.

00:50:40.179 --> 00:50:43.780
All the counties in the Kansas City, Kansas area

00:50:43.780 --> 00:50:46.420
are all unified, and they work together. They

00:50:46.420 --> 00:50:49.260
use the star bonds to pay for this stuff, and

00:50:49.260 --> 00:50:51.579
they always have them paid back early. They are

00:50:51.579 --> 00:50:54.860
an efficient, well -oiled government over there.

00:50:55.239 --> 00:50:58.480
And they had this pegged for years when Missouri

00:50:58.480 --> 00:51:01.059
was over there scratching their ass. They deserved

00:51:01.059 --> 00:51:04.000
to have the Chiefs. They did all the legwork.

00:51:04.019 --> 00:51:06.219
They did all the prep work. They did everything,

00:51:06.360 --> 00:51:09.800
including harvesting the money. So this thing

00:51:09.800 --> 00:51:15.059
is going to be an immaculate area. Okay. Okay.

00:51:15.139 --> 00:51:19.800
Let me bring this to your table. Okay. Yeah.

00:51:26.059 --> 00:51:28.679
Missouri side or they live on the Kansas side?

00:51:28.860 --> 00:51:31.320
Most of them. The two that I know of, Travis,

00:51:31.420 --> 00:51:34.139
both of them live like a few miles from me, or

00:51:34.139 --> 00:51:36.659
at least Travis did. I know Mahomes still does.

00:51:36.960 --> 00:51:39.679
Travis lives in Lock Lloyd, which is just a few

00:51:39.679 --> 00:51:42.980
miles south of me, about three, four miles, okay?

00:51:43.159 --> 00:51:45.739
So he lives in Missouri, and actually his address

00:51:45.739 --> 00:51:48.739
would be Belton, Missouri, because that's where

00:51:48.739 --> 00:51:52.619
Lock Lloyd is. So Taylor Swift has a Belton address.

00:51:52.980 --> 00:51:59.079
No, no, no, that's Mahomes. Travis Kelsey lived

00:51:59.079 --> 00:52:02.460
in Leawood, South Leawood, and I don't know if

00:52:02.460 --> 00:52:04.280
he still does or not. There have been various

00:52:04.280 --> 00:52:06.099
reports like he had to move out because people

00:52:06.099 --> 00:52:17.599
found out. Most of them. Most of them. No, you're

00:52:17.599 --> 00:52:25.460
right. You're absolutely right. Yes. And also

00:52:25.460 --> 00:52:27.559
the whole thing, the whole idea that they brought

00:52:27.559 --> 00:52:29.719
to the table is just much more efficient and

00:52:29.719 --> 00:52:33.199
much more grand. And the Chiefs are more deserving

00:52:33.199 --> 00:52:37.420
of something grand. Look, I know the PSLs, the

00:52:37.420 --> 00:52:39.699
private seat licenses and all that bullshit,

00:52:39.800 --> 00:52:42.239
and it's going to upend their whole fan base

00:52:42.239 --> 00:52:45.739
and all the people that have been season ticket

00:52:45.739 --> 00:52:49.699
holders since 1969 when the team came over here,

00:52:49.739 --> 00:52:53.260
66 or whatever it was. That's a year on board.

00:52:53.769 --> 00:53:00.750
Yeah, they were all, you know, they had these

00:53:00.750 --> 00:53:02.710
season tickets forever, and it's going to screw

00:53:02.710 --> 00:53:05.269
them because most of them probably are priced

00:53:05.269 --> 00:53:08.050
out of it now. But you were going to get that

00:53:08.050 --> 00:53:09.889
in Missouri anyhow because that's why they want

00:53:09.889 --> 00:53:11.849
to build a new stadium. It gets so much revenue.

00:53:12.070 --> 00:53:14.789
But the stadium they have in mind, the Dome Stadium

00:53:14.789 --> 00:53:16.769
over there in Kansas, and the whole district

00:53:16.769 --> 00:53:21.230
that's going to garner tax money, it's just a

00:53:21.230 --> 00:53:26.280
much more, efficient, intelligent idea of going

00:53:26.280 --> 00:53:28.920
about this. And then they're taking and building

00:53:28.920 --> 00:53:33.760
a huge practice facility in Olathe with a district

00:53:33.760 --> 00:53:36.019
around that, with the Chiefs, like a little Chiefs

00:53:36.019 --> 00:53:38.559
district around that. It's much smarter. That

00:53:38.559 --> 00:53:40.500
crap hole over there, I love Arrowhead Stadium,

00:53:40.679 --> 00:53:53.730
but it's nothing around it. Yeah, that's what

00:53:53.730 --> 00:54:16.050
I was saying. Yeah. And they deserve it. So there.

00:54:16.429 --> 00:54:18.030
All the Missouri people are just going to have

00:54:18.030 --> 00:54:20.210
to fucking get over that. That's the way it is.

00:54:20.309 --> 00:54:22.170
You don't like it, change your government. I

00:54:22.170 --> 00:54:26.670
don't know what else to say. So, all right. I'm

00:54:26.670 --> 00:54:28.670
liking the new segments. You might be a pussy

00:54:28.670 --> 00:54:31.489
and police blotter. This is what you guys needed.

00:54:31.630 --> 00:54:34.670
I felt the show needed a few fresh ideas. Thank

00:54:34.670 --> 00:54:37.289
you. Reese in Columbia, South Carolina. Well,

00:54:37.309 --> 00:54:40.929
why don't you get a hold of the brand new Rob's

00:54:40.929 --> 00:54:44.010
Tips for Life. We got a few of them, don't we,

00:54:44.030 --> 00:54:48.090
Rob? Yeah, we do. Yeah, that ought to warm your

00:54:48.090 --> 00:54:51.630
belly up. Reese in Columbia, South Carolina,

00:54:51.869 --> 00:54:54.789
you're getting your belly up. Did I record? Actually,

00:54:54.869 --> 00:54:56.929
you should hear some of them tonight. You're

00:54:56.929 --> 00:55:01.010
going to hear them. On this show, you're going

00:55:01.010 --> 00:55:03.050
to hear them. You're going to hear at least one,

00:55:03.090 --> 00:55:05.369
if not two. I think I'm going to do one at a

00:55:05.369 --> 00:55:08.010
time and just make people fucking wait. What

00:55:08.010 --> 00:55:11.010
do you think? Yeah. Yeah, you guys are going

00:55:11.010 --> 00:55:14.920
to get mad. We did like six. Look, I got so much

00:55:14.920 --> 00:55:18.480
shit about coming up with new ones. You guys

00:55:18.480 --> 00:55:20.599
are going to have to wait. There's going to be

00:55:20.599 --> 00:55:24.559
a new one on each of the next five shows. So

00:55:24.559 --> 00:55:29.139
there you go. All right, next. Rob, when does

00:55:29.139 --> 00:55:32.119
the racetrack season open at Lucas Oil? I'm serious.

00:55:32.300 --> 00:55:34.920
Not giving you crap like others. I'm going to

00:55:34.920 --> 00:55:37.420
make it to that track this year if it kills me.

00:55:37.619 --> 00:55:48.869
Just in McAllister, Oklahoma. I was not ready

00:55:48.869 --> 00:55:51.849
for that question. I forgot about the question

00:55:51.849 --> 00:55:53.889
because I was supposed to have it a few days

00:55:53.889 --> 00:55:56.449
ago, right? I forgot all about it. Otherwise,

00:55:56.570 --> 00:56:03.269
I would have pre -warned you, so I'm sorry. Kids

00:56:03.269 --> 00:56:08.730
kicked off in March. In March, that's what I

00:56:08.730 --> 00:56:14.510
thought. And the King of America did that. What

00:56:14.510 --> 00:56:19.389
is her name? Jess, Jess, just look it up online.

00:56:20.429 --> 00:56:24.269
Okay, okay, the kids kick it off March, but it

00:56:24.269 --> 00:56:29.750
looks like the main events start in May and run

00:56:29.750 --> 00:56:32.869
through October. Yep, that sounds about right.

00:56:32.929 --> 00:56:35.869
It's just a brief thing I just pulled up real

00:56:35.869 --> 00:56:39.010
quick. Just out of the air. All right, yep, just

00:56:39.010 --> 00:56:42.269
look it up. You can find it. It's all over the

00:56:42.269 --> 00:56:53.349
internet. Lucasfilm. Excellent. All right. Thank

00:56:53.349 --> 00:56:57.809
you, Rob. And I know a beautiful, beautiful RV

00:56:57.809 --> 00:57:00.510
park right here. That's right. And it's really

00:57:00.510 --> 00:57:02.670
dedicated to the people that go to Lucas Oil

00:57:02.670 --> 00:57:05.030
Stadium. So there you go. But I would book that.

00:57:05.829 --> 00:57:09.329
My cousins have a place you can put a tent up.

00:57:09.449 --> 00:57:11.929
There you go. If you want the RV park, book it

00:57:11.929 --> 00:57:16.250
early. Am I right, Rob? Mm -hmm. Book it early.

00:57:16.349 --> 00:57:21.500
Yeah. Next one. Hey, guys, I had a spam call

00:57:21.500 --> 00:57:24.260
from Licking, Missouri. I automatically thought

00:57:24.260 --> 00:57:27.940
of you guys. Ross in Texas. Rossington. How cool.

00:57:28.019 --> 00:57:32.400
How appropriate. One of our newer best e -mailers

00:57:32.400 --> 00:57:39.860
got a call from Licking, Missouri. Nice. But

00:57:39.860 --> 00:57:43.920
it was a spam call. I have never lived around

00:57:43.920 --> 00:57:56.440
there. It was not me. So, yeah, it wasn't me.

00:57:59.599 --> 00:58:02.639
All right. All right, Rossington, good to hear

00:58:02.639 --> 00:58:05.300
from you. Thank you. Or Ross, whatever. All right.

00:58:05.559 --> 00:58:09.360
Mark is correct. Men will shit all over anyway

00:58:09.360 --> 00:58:12.059
just for fun where women are too self -conscious

00:58:12.059 --> 00:58:15.559
to do so. I'm not making fun of women. They are

00:58:15.559 --> 00:58:18.179
more civilized than us men for sure. Ronnie and

00:58:18.179 --> 00:58:21.719
Tulsa, the Tulsa King. Good to hear from Ronnie,

00:58:21.780 --> 00:58:24.519
too. We got Ross and Ronnie all in two houses.

00:58:24.679 --> 00:58:28.599
Yes. Thank you, guys. You guys are royalty? Yes.

00:58:29.000 --> 00:58:31.940
Like we said, men shit all over each other because

00:58:31.940 --> 00:58:39.380
we think it's funny. Women think it's, you know,

00:58:39.500 --> 00:58:45.780
it's not civil. They think it's, you know, just

00:58:45.780 --> 00:58:49.079
horrible. But anyhow, you know what? All right.

00:58:49.260 --> 00:58:51.980
So, yeah, it's true. Men will, women usually

00:58:51.980 --> 00:58:55.780
hold it in and get stomach aches and stuff where,

00:58:55.840 --> 00:58:58.159
like, if I'm walking by Rob, I will shit all

00:58:58.159 --> 00:59:00.380
over him just because I love him. And you would

00:59:00.380 --> 00:59:03.500
return the favor, wouldn't you? Yeah, I'd actually

00:59:03.500 --> 00:59:10.659
clean you up. I would clean you up, too. I love

00:59:10.659 --> 00:59:17.239
it. Oh, this next one. Okay. Okay, Rob, did you

00:59:17.239 --> 00:59:19.480
really get your penis pierced instead of a wedding

00:59:19.480 --> 00:59:22.500
ring? Hamilton and Bears Den, wherever that's

00:59:22.500 --> 00:59:28.659
at. I don't recall you saying that, do you? No.

00:59:29.820 --> 00:59:34.480
No, I don't. I don't know where they got this

00:59:34.480 --> 00:59:39.820
from. Okay, I do have a wedding ring. But see

00:59:39.820 --> 00:59:46.300
how I work with my hands? And she doesn't. Me

00:59:46.300 --> 01:00:13.289
too. You have to take our ring. lost too much

01:00:13.289 --> 01:00:15.710
weight my fingers are much skinnier and I can't

01:00:15.710 --> 01:00:17.929
even wear it anyhow and I work with my hands

01:00:17.929 --> 01:00:21.489
and I don't want to lose it anyhow so that's

01:00:21.489 --> 01:00:24.010
why we have the tattoos because we work with

01:00:24.010 --> 01:00:26.889
our hands we have to take our rings off oh that's

01:00:26.889 --> 01:00:31.389
cool that's good that way we're still good I'm

01:00:31.389 --> 01:00:33.429
thinking about getting a tattoo ring too but

01:00:33.429 --> 01:00:38.190
anyhow we'll figure that out later okay and this

01:00:38.190 --> 01:00:42.340
next one I done okay I'll I'll let you answer

01:00:42.340 --> 01:00:45.360
this, Rob, if you want, but this is weird. Douches.

01:00:45.360 --> 01:00:49.260
I ran into Dan Hafner. He said he was an original

01:00:49.260 --> 01:00:52.519
douchebag until he had to quit the show. I don't

01:00:52.519 --> 01:00:55.820
remember him at all. Was he before Topher? Threeny

01:00:55.820 --> 01:01:01.659
in Minneapolis. Who the fuck is Dan Hafner? Thank

01:01:01.659 --> 01:01:04.719
you. I'm with Rob. I don't know who that guy

01:01:04.719 --> 01:01:11.750
is. No, he was never on this one. It's Topher

01:01:11.750 --> 01:01:17.610
and Mark. And then I took over for Topher. It's

01:01:17.610 --> 01:01:20.190
just the three of us. There's no... Yeah, and

01:01:20.190 --> 01:01:22.690
now Topher's back doing a couple of shows and

01:01:22.690 --> 01:01:27.030
Rob's doing his couple of shows. I don't know

01:01:27.030 --> 01:01:29.469
if someone's screwing with you or if they're

01:01:29.469 --> 01:01:31.349
talking about another podcast. There's another

01:01:31.349 --> 01:01:35.050
one called... That name sounds weird. Yeah, I

01:01:35.050 --> 01:01:38.719
think he may be... with two dudes and a microphone,

01:01:38.860 --> 01:01:41.780
which came up after us, I would like to say.

01:01:41.900 --> 01:01:45.440
That name sounds fair. It really does. Yeah,

01:01:45.500 --> 01:01:48.920
there's two dudes and a microphone. In my opinion,

01:01:48.920 --> 01:01:51.599
they copied us because they came along afterwards,

01:01:51.900 --> 01:01:54.579
and they probably looked and found this copyrighted,

01:01:54.579 --> 01:01:57.719
so they went with something close. Could they

01:01:57.719 --> 01:02:01.139
maybe be talking about that show instead of this?

01:02:01.559 --> 01:02:03.639
Because that guy was never on here. That Dan

01:02:03.639 --> 01:02:07.880
Hefner guy was never on here, ever. Anyhow, not

01:02:07.880 --> 01:02:10.739
even as a guest, nothing. Don't even know the

01:02:10.739 --> 01:02:13.480
guy, anything about him, so not to my knowledge.

01:02:13.800 --> 01:02:16.400
Rob, do you know anything about Dan Hafner? That's

01:02:16.400 --> 01:02:23.099
a... I don't know. For some reason, it sounds

01:02:23.099 --> 01:02:26.659
like a name I would know. That's interesting,

01:02:26.860 --> 01:02:29.019
because that sounded like a name I knew, too,

01:02:29.119 --> 01:02:30.639
and that's why I thought maybe he was affiliated

01:02:30.639 --> 01:02:34.920
with that other show. No, that's okay. He might

01:02:34.920 --> 01:02:36.920
have been affiliated with that other show, and

01:02:36.920 --> 01:02:40.780
that's why. I don't know. Anyhow, no. I don't

01:02:40.780 --> 01:02:43.159
know if it was misunderstood or if that guy's

01:02:43.159 --> 01:02:45.119
just screwing with your lion or whatever, but

01:02:45.119 --> 01:02:47.480
no, he's never on here. It's always been me,

01:02:47.539 --> 01:02:51.059
Rob, and Topher. That's it. Bottom line. Yep,

01:02:51.079 --> 01:02:53.739
bottom line. All right, Rob, let's turn it over

01:02:53.739 --> 01:02:55.980
to you. You might have a bag of garbage or something.

01:02:55.980 --> 01:03:05.900
I don't know. I'm clairvoyant. Yeah, I noticed

01:03:05.900 --> 01:03:11.820
that. I noticed that. I love that sound. I love

01:03:11.820 --> 01:03:14.219
that sound, Rob. That bag of garbage makes me

01:03:14.219 --> 01:03:22.179
feel good. Okay, in December 1963, January 1964,

01:03:52.780 --> 01:03:57.039
I know Tom Brown's brother, Bob Square. Okay,

01:03:57.079 --> 01:04:29.940
sorry. Sorry, that was horrible. Go ahead. At

01:04:29.940 --> 01:04:33.260
that point, the record was held by Robert McDonald

01:04:33.260 --> 01:04:42.000
at 18 days and 21 hours, or 453 hours and 40

01:04:42.000 --> 01:04:45.760
minutes. Fuck. Could you imagine that, dude?

01:04:58.510 --> 01:05:03.469
Yes, it's happened numerous times. Yeah, so I

01:05:03.469 --> 01:05:08.610
see why Guinness did away with it. Yeah, because...

01:05:08.610 --> 01:05:11.329
If you get it that long, you're causing harm

01:05:11.329 --> 01:05:13.769
to people. Yeah, if you allow that to go on,

01:05:13.849 --> 01:05:16.210
you can be an accomplice to someone killing themselves,

01:05:16.469 --> 01:05:18.610
and then you can be held liable, so I get it.

01:05:21.510 --> 01:05:25.289
Just for a world, right? Come on. It's a paper.

01:05:25.929 --> 01:05:32.519
I agree. Cool. Okay. Well, shall we reach in

01:05:32.519 --> 01:05:35.559
one more time? I think so. I think that sounds

01:05:35.559 --> 01:06:19.039
in order. I'm sorry. I love this segment. I'm

01:06:19.039 --> 01:06:21.320
not kidding you. It's my favorite segment ever

01:06:21.320 --> 01:07:46.119
on this show. Uh -huh. Okay. Per chicken, it

01:07:46.119 --> 01:07:47.920
had nothing to do with anything. I can't believe

01:07:47.920 --> 01:07:51.460
that came out of my bag of garbage. I guess I

01:07:51.460 --> 01:07:55.500
lost more. Holy shit. Rob, you said it best.

01:07:55.539 --> 01:07:59.500
It's a bag of garbage, right? It's a bag of garbage.

01:07:59.559 --> 01:08:04.179
I don't know what else anyone expects. Thank

01:08:04.179 --> 01:08:07.679
you, Rob. Holy shit. That's all I have on that

01:08:07.679 --> 01:08:12.760
one, Mark. Okay. Is that it on your bag of...

01:08:17.930 --> 01:08:20.850
That's fucking awesome, dude. Oh, my God. Dude,

01:08:20.989 --> 01:08:23.170
all those chickens with his pants around their

01:08:23.170 --> 01:08:29.010
ankles. Oh, that's hilarious. Oh, excellent.

01:08:29.729 --> 01:08:32.529
All right. Is that all of your bag of garbage

01:08:32.529 --> 01:08:35.569
for today? Yeah, yeah. All right. Yeah, I can't

01:08:35.569 --> 01:08:38.029
do no more of that. Ain't nothing to top that

01:08:38.029 --> 01:08:41.289
one. No, no, no. Matter of fact, we ought to

01:08:41.289 --> 01:08:43.250
just end the show with that. But, Matt, we've

01:08:43.250 --> 01:08:46.409
got to go through our second break. So, anyhow.

01:08:46.569 --> 01:08:51.369
All right. Yeah. We will be right back, even

01:08:51.369 --> 01:08:55.329
though you don't want us to be. All right. We'll

01:08:55.329 --> 01:08:57.550
talk to you guys in a minute. The boll weevil

01:08:57.550 --> 01:09:04.189
clap. Read up on that sometime. The boll weevil

01:09:04.189 --> 01:09:06.970
clap, and this old guy that I knew that was in

01:09:06.970 --> 01:09:10.170
Vietnam, I probably should say, well, you know

01:09:10.170 --> 01:09:12.550
what? You can take this part out of here if you

01:09:12.550 --> 01:09:14.890
like it, and we can put it somewhere. But this

01:09:14.890 --> 01:09:17.569
old guy that I knew down the road from me. It

01:09:17.569 --> 01:09:20.949
was in Vietnam. He told me that one day, you

01:09:20.949 --> 01:09:24.090
know, him and a couple of guys got a day off

01:09:24.090 --> 01:09:27.430
from the war, so they went into the nearest town

01:09:27.430 --> 01:09:29.109
to go look for some hookers. You know, they're

01:09:29.109 --> 01:09:31.029
like, you know, if we're going to die, we're

01:09:31.029 --> 01:09:34.029
going to get laid. So, okay, all right. So they

01:09:34.029 --> 01:09:38.569
go in there, and I guess the Viet Cong loaded

01:09:38.569 --> 01:09:42.970
the prostitutes full of this stuff called the

01:09:42.970 --> 01:09:48.670
boll weevil clap. Yeah. Oh, it is. So anyhow,

01:09:48.890 --> 01:09:51.010
he said, you know, they all went and, you know,

01:09:51.010 --> 01:09:53.649
did what they needed to do. You know, they thought

01:09:53.649 --> 01:09:55.029
they were all going to die. So they went and

01:09:55.029 --> 01:09:57.630
they got laid. And the next day, when a guy comes

01:09:57.630 --> 01:10:00.449
in, he goes, oh, my God. He goes, I hurt so bad.

01:10:00.909 --> 01:10:04.470
You know, my fucking dick hurts like hell. My

01:10:04.470 --> 01:10:07.090
stomach hurts. I think I'm going to die. What

01:10:07.090 --> 01:10:10.060
did they do with those damn hookers? So anyhow,

01:10:10.380 --> 01:10:12.600
and he started hurting really bad. He said it

01:10:12.600 --> 01:10:14.840
hurt so bad you could hardly breathe. You could

01:10:14.840 --> 01:10:18.000
feel it in your dick shaft. It hurt so bad. So

01:10:18.000 --> 01:10:21.399
they all go in, and I guess it's like a horrible

01:10:21.399 --> 01:10:24.399
infection. And if you don't get it treated, it

01:10:24.399 --> 01:10:27.140
will kill you. Like, you know, go up your scrotum

01:10:27.140 --> 01:10:31.800
and your testicles. And anyhow, the only cure

01:10:31.800 --> 01:10:34.539
back then was is they had to take this glass

01:10:34.539 --> 01:10:38.939
rod and shove it in the end of your penis. and

01:10:38.939 --> 01:10:42.859
mash it with a rubber mallet. And then you have

01:10:42.859 --> 01:10:46.180
to physically squeeze all the infection out of

01:10:46.180 --> 01:10:50.399
your penis. I've heard of this. Yes. And this

01:10:50.399 --> 01:10:56.220
took like four hours of mashing this rod and

01:10:56.220 --> 01:10:58.180
then squeezing all the infection out because

01:10:58.180 --> 01:10:59.859
if they don't get all the infection out right

01:10:59.859 --> 01:11:02.279
then... It just flares right back up. Yes. Seals

01:11:02.279 --> 01:11:05.380
your pee -pee shut. Yes. Yeah, that was the old

01:11:05.380 --> 01:11:08.380
joke of, you know, if you catch VD, your dick's

01:11:08.380 --> 01:11:11.039
going to turn black and fall off. But there are

01:11:11.039 --> 01:11:13.439
actually STDs. That was the worst case scenario,

01:11:13.579 --> 01:11:16.220
yeah. It actually will turn black and fall off

01:11:16.220 --> 01:11:19.439
because the tissue will die. Yeah, it's kind

01:11:19.439 --> 01:11:23.720
of like a Gann Green type of deal, you know,

01:11:23.760 --> 01:11:27.619
or something like that. So anyhow, yeah, he said

01:11:27.619 --> 01:11:32.939
after that, he said, no, no more hookers. Tomorrow

01:11:32.939 --> 01:11:35.100
morning, while grinding your coffee beans for

01:11:35.100 --> 01:11:37.779
your double mocha latte, remember to not get

01:11:37.779 --> 01:11:40.640
your genitals caught in the grinder. It really

01:11:40.640 --> 01:11:44.579
hurts, and who can afford plastic surgery? Stay

01:11:44.579 --> 01:11:49.699
safe, everyone. And now, Deep Thoughts with Mark.

01:11:53.960 --> 01:11:57.680
Hmm. If I was to speak into a megaphone backwards,

01:11:58.079 --> 01:12:04.100
would it then sound like a whisper? Hmm. I may

01:12:04.100 --> 01:12:11.180
never know. Ms. Gulkenstein was tired of Mark

01:12:11.180 --> 01:12:13.840
and Toe for making sport of her. Little did the

01:12:13.840 --> 01:12:16.359
douchebags know Ms. Gulkenstein was a voodoo

01:12:16.359 --> 01:12:19.220
high priestess when she was younger. She grew

01:12:19.220 --> 01:12:22.979
angry and cast a spell on Rob, changing Rob into

01:12:22.979 --> 01:12:27.760
a capuchin monkey. Mark took Rob to a local zoo

01:12:27.760 --> 01:12:30.199
so he could be with the other monkeys. Here are

01:12:30.199 --> 01:12:35.409
the adventures of Rob. The Capuchin Monkey. Shh.

01:12:35.770 --> 01:12:39.470
Be very quiet. We're going to listen in as Rob

01:12:39.470 --> 01:12:41.689
the Capuchin Monkey tries to sell the rest of

01:12:41.689 --> 01:12:44.729
the Capuchin Monkey's Amway. Rob has always dreamed

01:12:44.729 --> 01:12:48.390
of becoming a Diamond Status Amway as a Capuchin

01:12:48.390 --> 01:13:12.430
Monkey. Little did our hero Rob know. All the

01:13:12.430 --> 01:13:14.850
great apes owned stock in Sam's Club and became

01:13:14.850 --> 01:13:17.170
violently pissed off when he tried to infringe

01:13:17.170 --> 01:13:19.810
on their territory. They promptly grabbed switches

01:13:19.810 --> 01:13:22.630
and beat his ass for three days straight. Rob

01:13:22.630 --> 01:13:26.010
could not sit down. Hey, my fellow heavy breathers.

01:13:26.050 --> 01:13:33.970
This is Dash Riptide with your music news. For

01:13:33.970 --> 01:13:36.390
a nerd to take center stage on Stranger Things

01:13:36.390 --> 01:13:39.390
float at Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. I remember

01:13:39.390 --> 01:13:41.609
the infamous Kiss float years ago where the large

01:13:41.609 --> 01:13:44.289
Gibson guitar on their float was replaced with

01:13:44.289 --> 01:13:46.930
a much smaller ugly one. Paul was seen mincing

01:13:46.930 --> 01:13:49.010
and bitching. So in other words, he was being

01:13:49.010 --> 01:13:53.989
normal. George Thorogood has announced a world

01:13:53.989 --> 01:14:00.470
tour. Minus the rest of the world. It kicks off

01:14:00.470 --> 01:14:03.020
March 8th. Thousand Oaks, California, March 10th.

01:14:03.020 --> 01:14:05.779
Napa, California, March 17th. Kamloops, California,

01:14:06.000 --> 01:14:08.979
March 19th. Parkland, California. It ends in

01:14:08.979 --> 01:14:12.199
Fort Wayne on March 31st with a Hamilton, Canada,

01:14:12.439 --> 01:14:14.560
three days later. And that appears to be all

01:14:14.560 --> 01:14:19.359
they tour as of date. He is 150, so he probably

01:14:19.359 --> 01:14:22.020
is not going to tour more than that. This is

01:14:22.020 --> 01:14:25.699
Gash Ruktine, and that was your music news. If

01:14:25.699 --> 01:14:27.880
it's too loud, you probably have ear damage,

01:14:28.000 --> 01:14:37.930
just like me. Hey, dickhead, no one gives an

01:14:37.930 --> 01:14:40.289
ounce of shit what you had for breakfast. Not

01:14:40.289 --> 01:14:42.729
even the person on the other end. You look like

01:14:42.729 --> 01:14:45.270
a mentally slow driv yelling into thin air all

01:14:45.270 --> 01:14:47.710
through the store. I pray that Bluetooth shorts

01:14:47.710 --> 01:14:50.649
out and blows up your eardrums. What men consider

01:14:50.649 --> 01:14:53.630
self -centered dunce. Monty constantly coddled

01:14:53.630 --> 01:14:55.930
this dummy and it fucking shows. Go look back

01:14:55.930 --> 01:14:58.510
home and bore your dog. Wait, you probably forgot

01:14:58.510 --> 01:15:00.210
the thieving because you're too busy looking

01:15:00.210 --> 01:15:17.010
in the mirror all day. Fuck off. My mechanic

01:15:17.010 --> 01:15:21.529
told me I couldn't repair your brakes. So I made

01:15:21.529 --> 01:15:27.350
you horn ladder. Good job. Two douchebags and

01:15:27.350 --> 01:15:29.630
microphone in an effort to keep everything fresh.

01:15:30.250 --> 01:15:37.390
We offer you first world problems. The ATM wants

01:15:37.390 --> 01:15:40.149
me to make a new PIN number for security purposes.

01:15:40.470 --> 01:15:43.430
I don't have an extra two minutes. I need my

01:15:43.430 --> 01:15:47.449
Starbucks. I'm having the worst day ever. Hey,

01:15:47.489 --> 01:15:50.289
all you ginger snaps. It's time for the douchebag

01:15:50.289 --> 01:15:53.449
question of the week. Turn all answers into two

01:15:53.449 --> 01:15:57.989
douches at mail .com. Spell out the number two.

01:15:58.689 --> 01:16:02.869
Send in your replies or Rob will find you. He

01:16:02.869 --> 01:16:05.930
is waiting for the word. Don't be bashful. You'll

01:16:05.930 --> 01:16:12.970
get yourself hurt. Your alarm goes off. You sleep

01:16:12.970 --> 01:16:16.619
through it. You wake up and have little time

01:16:16.619 --> 01:16:19.840
to get ready for work. Because of your sleepiness,

01:16:19.920 --> 01:16:23.140
you are pressed for time. So you have to double

01:16:23.140 --> 01:16:27.060
task. The question, is it gross to brush your

01:16:27.060 --> 01:16:30.100
teeth while taking a dump? Submit your answers

01:16:30.100 --> 01:16:35.619
to 2douches at mail .com. Oh shit, what's that

01:16:35.619 --> 01:16:39.640
over there? Oh no, it's this island of horrible

01:16:39.640 --> 01:17:05.170
jokes. Ugh! Hey, if you're a fan of paying way

01:17:05.170 --> 01:17:07.510
too much for trinkets and food, well your wish

01:17:07.510 --> 01:17:10.350
is coming true. Kansas City International Airport

01:17:10.350 --> 01:17:13.840
Guest Pass program is starting today. Yes, you

01:17:13.840 --> 01:17:16.079
too could overspend on workless trinkets and

01:17:16.079 --> 01:17:19.760
$15 cups of coffee. You want to buy a $50 cheap

01:17:19.760 --> 01:17:22.560
t -shirt that has KC Western Auto Building image

01:17:22.560 --> 01:17:25.859
on it? We got you covered. Want a barbecue sauce

01:17:25.859 --> 01:17:28.939
gift pack? No problem. Just a mere $40 on your

01:17:28.939 --> 01:17:31.680
first morning. Hurry, you know Rubes are jumping

01:17:31.680 --> 01:17:35.520
all over to get to this complete ripoff. Because

01:17:35.520 --> 01:17:38.939
people are sheep. During Nine Inch Nails concert

01:17:38.939 --> 01:17:42.619
at the Oakland Arena on August 6, 2025, Frontman

01:17:42.619 --> 01:17:45.159
Trent Reznor was doused by a leaking fog machine.

01:17:45.460 --> 01:17:48.039
The incident happened while performing Sin, and

01:17:48.039 --> 01:17:50.180
Reznor responded, I'm trying to play it cool

01:17:50.180 --> 01:17:52.619
up here. It's the first time that's ever happened

01:17:52.619 --> 01:17:55.079
in my life, so thank you for sharing that with

01:17:55.079 --> 01:17:57.439
me. The incident occurred at the start of the

01:17:57.439 --> 01:17:59.720
North American leg of the Peel It Back Tour,

01:17:59.920 --> 01:18:03.460
their first tour since 2022. The tour's title

01:18:03.460 --> 01:18:06.720
references their 1994 song, March of the Pigs.

01:18:16.560 --> 01:18:19.079
Two douchebags and microphone. I'm Mark here

01:18:19.079 --> 01:18:21.899
in the Kansas City area, and it's what I like

01:18:21.899 --> 01:18:25.680
to call the Talk is Cheap studio. And I like

01:18:25.680 --> 01:18:30.800
to make goat noises. And that's about it. We

01:18:30.800 --> 01:18:36.020
turn to Rob. And I am Rob in Wheeler, Missouri,

01:18:36.199 --> 01:18:41.220
home of the magnificent Lucas Oil Speedway and

01:18:41.220 --> 01:19:00.310
Water Race Track. Okay. Let's get it two down

01:19:00.310 --> 01:19:04.510
long, dude. I know, that's why I kind of took

01:19:04.510 --> 01:19:07.409
mine down a notch. It's kind of like a... I don't

01:19:07.409 --> 01:19:11.409
know if I can, man. I know. Yours, though, I

01:19:11.409 --> 01:19:12.590
think you've got to keep it like this. I just

01:19:12.590 --> 01:19:15.949
keep ramping mine up. Yeah, just don't add any

01:19:15.949 --> 01:19:17.930
more to it. Just keep it like that. I think it's

01:19:17.930 --> 01:19:20.949
perfect. And especially magnificent and beautiful,

01:19:21.010 --> 01:19:25.329
the way you stress them. It's great. Can't go

01:19:25.329 --> 01:19:29.319
wrong. So, Ron. Well, it's a town of less than

01:19:29.319 --> 01:19:32.800
400 people. Come on. You've got to brag it up.

01:19:32.800 --> 01:19:34.140
You've got to do something. You've got to brag

01:19:34.140 --> 01:19:36.859
it up. And that's all they've got. Other than

01:19:36.859 --> 01:19:40.619
that, Casey's and Hickamose. That's it. And Hickamose

01:19:40.619 --> 01:19:43.779
is a great place to hide your car during a severe

01:19:43.779 --> 01:19:48.000
hail storm slash tornado. Yeah. Yeah, ask my

01:19:48.000 --> 01:19:52.119
friend Mark and Sherry. They found that out.

01:19:53.119 --> 01:19:57.420
Alrighty. Have you ever heard of a concrete battery,

01:19:57.579 --> 01:20:04.340
Rob? No, I have not. Neither have I. That's why

01:20:04.340 --> 01:20:08.119
I'm covering this. Or it's also called electron

01:20:08.119 --> 01:20:13.920
conducting carbon concrete. It is a revolutionary

01:20:13.920 --> 01:20:17.600
building material that integrates energy storage

01:20:17.600 --> 01:20:20.680
into concrete itself, turning structures like

01:20:20.680 --> 01:20:25.140
walls and sidewalks into large -scale multifunctional

01:20:25.420 --> 01:20:29.619
super capacitors or batteries. Yeah. Yeah, you

01:20:29.619 --> 01:20:31.859
can have walls that are actually becoming batteries

01:20:31.859 --> 01:20:39.739
and producing energy for you. Isn't that something?

01:20:39.840 --> 01:20:42.359
This is a game changer. They can do this. I mean,

01:20:42.380 --> 01:20:47.000
the first thing that came by was like the geothermal.

01:20:47.860 --> 01:20:49.760
Energy and all that, you know, you can actually,

01:20:49.800 --> 01:20:51.319
you can have a house in the middle of nowhere.

01:20:51.380 --> 01:20:53.819
If you dig down far enough, you can use the energy

01:20:53.819 --> 01:20:56.699
from the earth to heat and cool your house and

01:20:56.699 --> 01:21:00.960
even conduct some electricity solar -wise. So

01:21:00.960 --> 01:21:03.079
this is a game changer, this thing right here,

01:21:03.180 --> 01:21:05.380
because you can do this anywhere. Turning structures

01:21:05.380 --> 01:21:08.859
like walls and sidewalks into large -scale multifunctional

01:21:08.859 --> 01:21:11.300
supercapacitators or batteries, like I said,

01:21:11.420 --> 01:21:14.279
researchers at MIT and other institutions are

01:21:14.279 --> 01:21:17.529
developing it. by adding conductive carbon, like

01:21:17.529 --> 01:21:21.649
carbon black, and electrolytes to cement. Creating

01:21:21.649 --> 01:21:24.770
a nanonetwork for storing electricity, offering

01:21:24.770 --> 01:21:27.670
a potentially sustainable, long -lived alternative

01:21:27.670 --> 01:21:30.489
to traditional batteries for renewable energy

01:21:30.489 --> 01:21:36.510
storage. Isn't that something? Like I said, this

01:21:36.510 --> 01:21:40.010
is a game -changer right here. It can turn massive

01:21:40.010 --> 01:21:44.109
structures or buildings, roads. into energy storage

01:21:44.109 --> 01:21:47.550
units, potentially meeting daily household energy

01:21:47.550 --> 01:21:51.710
needs with just a basement wall. Isn't that something?

01:21:51.909 --> 01:21:54.609
Or roads. Think about roads. If they can conduct

01:21:54.609 --> 01:21:58.449
energy on roads, then they can probably find

01:21:58.449 --> 01:22:02.029
a way to introduce that to your vehicle, right?

01:22:02.829 --> 01:22:08.949
So that would make an electric car feasible.

01:22:09.659 --> 01:22:12.680
Instead of having to rely on coal -powered plants

01:22:12.680 --> 01:22:17.119
to generate the electricity for the car, this

01:22:17.119 --> 01:22:21.979
is a game -changer. Yeah, I'm sorry. I still

01:22:21.979 --> 01:22:27.079
find electric cars useless. That's my opinion.

01:22:27.800 --> 01:22:30.739
No, that's fine. That's fine. I would be okay

01:22:30.739 --> 01:22:34.279
with electric cars, but it'd have to be something

01:22:34.279 --> 01:22:37.579
like this. You can't use, in my opinion... You

01:22:37.579 --> 01:22:40.739
can't use coal power because all you're doing

01:22:40.739 --> 01:22:43.479
is you're doing something different but coming

01:22:43.479 --> 01:22:46.699
out with the same outcome. So this is a game

01:22:46.699 --> 01:22:48.880
changer. Hydrogen has always been a game changer,

01:22:48.939 --> 01:22:51.220
but evidently no one paid him enough from the

01:22:51.220 --> 01:22:56.439
hydrogen people to go along with it. It uses

01:22:56.439 --> 01:22:59.159
non -flammable electrolytes, making it safer

01:22:59.159 --> 01:23:02.399
for some lithium -ion batteries, which is excellent

01:23:02.399 --> 01:23:04.579
because lithium -ion batteries are not safe.

01:23:05.119 --> 01:23:07.680
Well, they're safe if people use them, right?

01:23:07.699 --> 01:23:10.600
But they don't. And is resistant to overcharging,

01:23:10.720 --> 01:23:13.420
leverages the world's most used building material,

01:23:13.539 --> 01:23:16.560
potentially reducing reliance on scarce battery

01:23:16.560 --> 01:23:19.979
minerals like lithium, and lowering emissions

01:23:19.979 --> 01:23:23.920
by integrating energy storage directly into infrastructure.

01:23:25.100 --> 01:23:30.619
That is really damn cool. And I got more, but

01:23:30.619 --> 01:23:32.989
that's all we need to know about this. What do

01:23:32.989 --> 01:23:34.750
you think, Rob? Do you got any ideas on this?

01:23:34.829 --> 01:23:37.590
I know you don't like electric cars, but how

01:23:37.590 --> 01:23:42.310
about anything else? No, I do not. No, I... Actually,

01:23:42.369 --> 01:23:45.210
I don't even like gas cars anymore, to be honest,

01:23:45.329 --> 01:23:48.689
because they put too much crap on them. You see,

01:23:48.689 --> 01:23:51.170
my hands have changed my starter the other day.

01:23:51.350 --> 01:23:53.770
You can't hardly change anything anymore, and

01:23:53.770 --> 01:23:57.090
they... Yeah, you can't get to nothing. You know,

01:23:57.090 --> 01:24:00.250
they... I could sit down inside an engine...

01:24:06.890 --> 01:24:10.989
They claim it's because it's more efficient,

01:24:11.210 --> 01:24:14.050
but I can tell you what I think it is. No, no,

01:24:14.069 --> 01:24:16.329
they don't want you working on it. They want

01:24:16.329 --> 01:24:18.970
you to go the dealer. Because a lot of, like

01:24:18.970 --> 01:24:31.539
my warranty was ruined. Yep. No, I... I think

01:24:31.539 --> 01:24:40.239
I agree with you, Rob. Yeah. Yep. Anyhow, all

01:24:40.239 --> 01:24:41.859
right. Well, that's all that story. You got something

01:24:41.859 --> 01:24:45.520
you want to go into? Yeah, something I've got

01:24:45.520 --> 01:24:49.359
to clarify for our friends in Arkansas. Okay.

01:24:50.840 --> 01:24:54.239
We're circling online and across social media

01:24:54.239 --> 01:25:13.649
platforms in recent weeks. For our friends in

01:25:13.649 --> 01:25:18.689
Arkansas, those claims were false. The state

01:25:18.689 --> 01:25:23.649
law has not changed in that manner. Under current

01:25:23.649 --> 01:25:28.750
Arkansas law, the first offense to DWI remains

01:25:28.750 --> 01:25:31.949
a misdemeanor, not a felony. While a conviction

01:25:31.949 --> 01:26:33.380
could still result fine. It's his third or fourth,

01:26:33.439 --> 01:26:36.060
one of the two. I think it's fourth, actually,

01:26:36.140 --> 01:26:38.340
isn't it? You know what? I don't know. The laws

01:26:38.340 --> 01:27:40.329
have changed. Okay. 2005 not January 1st applies

01:27:40.329 --> 01:27:45.029
not only in Oklahoma under Oklahoma's updated

01:27:45.029 --> 01:27:49.390
statute the first DUI may be charged as a felony

01:27:49.390 --> 01:27:55.850
if aggravating circumstances exist such as an

01:27:55.850 --> 01:28:00.909
involvement in a crash reckless behavior attempting

01:28:00.909 --> 01:28:47.619
to flee law enforcement driving with Okay. So,

01:28:47.619 --> 01:28:52.359
but, yeah, so, our son, don't worry. You're still

01:28:52.359 --> 01:29:00.600
a misdemeanor for now. Okay. But don't push it.

01:29:00.800 --> 01:29:03.739
Yeah, yeah. You don't need to go to jail. You

01:29:03.739 --> 01:29:06.279
don't need to spend five grand on all this and

01:29:06.279 --> 01:29:10.619
have insurance that's outrageous for years. Yeah,

01:29:10.659 --> 01:29:13.140
just don't do it. A chance of hurting someone.

01:29:16.859 --> 01:29:21.079
Oh, did I say that? I heard nothing. You know

01:29:21.079 --> 01:29:26.300
what I heard, Rob? I heard it's a beautiful day

01:29:26.300 --> 01:29:29.619
out there. That's what I heard. Did you? Yeah,

01:29:29.680 --> 01:29:37.800
that's what I heard. Okay. All right. No one

01:29:37.800 --> 01:29:56.109
believed that, including us. Yeah. Alright, I

01:29:56.109 --> 01:29:58.010
got one more story here, and then you can do

01:29:58.010 --> 01:30:00.449
another one if you want, or we can end this.

01:30:00.869 --> 01:30:03.029
It depends on you, because you've got to get

01:30:03.029 --> 01:30:04.729
up so early. Well, I've got to get up early.

01:30:04.770 --> 01:30:06.970
Yeah, well, I'm probably going to let you in.

01:30:07.989 --> 01:30:11.649
Okay. Alright, robot versus cock legislation.

01:30:13.069 --> 01:30:17.210
Believe me, I'm going somewhere with this. The

01:30:17.210 --> 01:30:19.590
concept of robot versus rooster cock fighting

01:30:19.590 --> 01:30:24.300
is a... Not quite what people think I'm doing,

01:30:24.359 --> 01:30:27.119
but anyhow. Robot versus rooster cockfighting

01:30:27.119 --> 01:30:31.399
is a recent and controversial legislative idea

01:30:31.399 --> 01:30:34.520
that has been debated in Oklahoma where a proposed

01:30:34.520 --> 01:30:38.039
bill sought to create a specific legal exemption

01:30:38.039 --> 01:30:41.899
for non -harmful matches between live fowl and

01:30:41.899 --> 01:30:46.449
a robot. The idea of using a robot stems from

01:30:46.449 --> 01:30:49.210
a desire by some advocates to provoke a legal

01:30:49.210 --> 01:30:52.149
nonviolent alternative that scores points like

01:30:52.149 --> 01:30:56.369
a boxing match without causing physical harm

01:30:56.369 --> 01:30:59.449
to the bird. Proposed legislation, Oklahoma House

01:30:59.449 --> 01:31:03.850
Bill 1326, introduced in 2025, aimed to allow

01:31:03.850 --> 01:31:06.510
cockfights where a robot does not injure the

01:31:06.510 --> 01:31:09.109
live fowl. The bird did not pass in the house,

01:31:09.909 --> 01:31:15.180
but remains alive for 2026 session. I'm for it.

01:31:17.539 --> 01:31:20.420
I've never liked cockfighting. I've always thought

01:31:20.420 --> 01:31:23.159
it was excessively cruel. It doesn't matter how

01:31:23.159 --> 01:31:25.520
you think about birds. You can think of them

01:31:25.520 --> 01:31:28.039
as like a simple being or whatever the thing

01:31:28.039 --> 01:31:30.640
is. They are alive and they feel and they hurt.

01:31:30.779 --> 01:31:33.100
And it's not right to put something through that

01:31:33.100 --> 01:31:37.939
for your own amusement. So I love this bill.

01:31:38.060 --> 01:31:45.979
I hope it goes through. I hope it passes. You

01:31:45.979 --> 01:31:50.319
know what, Rob? That's a great point. That's

01:31:50.319 --> 01:31:52.979
a great point, actually, Rob. Thank you. Wow,

01:31:53.699 --> 01:31:56.180
I never considered that until you said that.

01:31:56.460 --> 01:31:59.180
Yeah, yeah. If we could train him through that,

01:31:59.399 --> 01:32:04.520
actually put him in fighting circumstances, but

01:32:04.520 --> 01:32:08.340
if we could train him not to kill, I mean, maim

01:32:08.340 --> 01:32:11.279
would be one thing, but we've got to get him

01:32:11.279 --> 01:32:24.050
up and kill him. Yep. All right, everybody. Thank

01:32:24.050 --> 01:32:27.649
you all for listening. Rob and I both have to

01:32:27.649 --> 01:32:29.689
get up early. My new hours, I have to be in early

01:32:29.689 --> 01:32:31.789
now, and there's no more of that going in at

01:32:31.789 --> 01:32:35.350
10 stuff. So I will be waking up early with you.

01:32:35.449 --> 01:32:38.130
So everybody, thank you for listening. We appreciate

01:32:38.130 --> 01:32:49.229
it. Good night, assholes. Looks like this show's

01:32:49.229 --> 01:32:52.850
over, kids. Mark has explosive diarrhea and can't

01:32:52.850 --> 01:32:56.289
afford a wireless mic. Fear not, assholes. They'll

01:32:56.289 --> 01:32:58.130
be back invading your ear holes soon.