Hey there, Slap Nets. It's time for the Creeps
Music News. Hey, my little pumpkin seeds. This
is Johnny Rohypnol with your music news. The
latest news from the coroner and the death of
Ace Brealey. His founding member, lead guitarist,
and successful solo artist was. Ace had a stroke
and led to his fall that resulted in a brain
bleed and his unfortunate passing. We already
miss you, Ace. Condolences to his family and
friends. This is Johnny Rohypnol. That was your
music news. And remember, bar chords are bullshit.
We're up and live. I couldn't get you to laugh
that time. No, I did laugh a little bit, but
I was able to sustain. Oh, okay. But I did laugh.
Okay. We'll slip you a little nitrous oxide next
time you laugh your ass off. There we go. You'll
be like, okay, Mark, it's done. No, really, it's
done. All right. Keith Richard, I got this little
story on my new verse. Yeah. Keith Richard's
in Longwood. We're in Keith's dressing room.
but someone knocked on his dressing room door.
The Stone's manager yelled, the police are here
from the hallway. They flipped out and quickly
flushed all the drugs to open the door to Stuart
Copeland. The police standing there. Keith Rogers
just told that story the other day. That's awesome.
It was the police. I bet that manager got his
ass chewed. You should have said Stuart Copeland.
Wow. Yeah, so they flipped out and got rid of
all their drugs. Oh, gosh. Hopefully, Stuart
Copeland had someone. You would hope, yeah. Otherwise,
they'd have to go buy some more. Yeah, yeah.
Well, they'd go have someone go get them, I'm
sure. Well, that's true, yeah. So, all right.
You got something you want to go into? I've got
a bunch of shit. Yeah. Something I can do right
off the top here. Miley Cyrus has a large nodule
on her vocal cords and she's actually had it
there for quite a while. It really helps define
the way she sings and she says it actually is
difficult to sing with it and it's been getting
slightly more difficult so she has to work really
really hard to sing well with that nodule but
she doesn't want to get it removed because she
doesn't want to change how her voice sounds.
I get it. I get it, yeah. It's like Freddie Mercury
didn't want to fix his teeth because he figured
it would mess up his tone. Yeah, and it probably
would have. When they were talking about it,
I remember, I forgot who was talking about it.
It was on some show, and they said, you know,
he was probably lying. Probably so, yeah. Yeah,
so, yeah. But in response to that, Miley Cyrus
says she's giving up touring. Oh, why? That's
why. Because she just can't do night after night.
She can do... albums and you know single performances
but then all night night after night she said
nah can't do it anymore it's just too much work
no more miley cyrus tours man damn it there goes
my plans yeah yeah i've got a story here i want
to get your opinion on sure but it's not music
okay but we can go back to music afterwards There's
a man in Indiana suing another man because his
actions led to severe head injuries. Okay. All
right. South Bend, Indiana, Roger Tripple is
suing his former neighbor and friend over a million
dollars in damages and all medical bills paid
when his neighbor allegedly blasted the horn
of his car when he was installing a car battery.
Oh, my gosh. Now, I've done that before. Oh,
yeah. And I've hit my head before. But not this
severe, but it sucks and you fucking hate it.
I mean, yeah. Jim Sanders is being sued after
his neighbor and friend was helping him install
a battery in his Ford Escape. Well, there you
go right there. Oh, yeah. Ford Escape. We had
some friendly dogs stopping by. Always cool.
Okay, so yeah, him owning it for an escape means
he needs to get sued anyhow. Yeah. So, Triple
jumped out to where he struck his head on the
whole lock attachment on the underside of the
car hood. Oh, that hurt. Yeah, he needed immediate
medical attention and ambulance was called. Mr.
Sanders received a large laceration on his head
with part of it visible on the top of his forehead.
Yeah. So there you have, like, disfigurement,
too. True, true. The lawsuit also states that
disfigurement to his face occurred. The court
filing was placed in November. They will have
several attempts at settling the case out of
court. My thoughts is the man being sued is striving
for an escape. How much more can you recover?
It's a little loud. Yeah, I think I would be
inclined to go along with that because playing
a joke on somebody is one thing, but that was
just cruel and sadistic. It is when you do that.
Somebody stupid enough to do that and put somebody
else at that much risk needs to have their ass
sued off to teach them a lesson. And then other
people will be like, oh, I better not screw with
him. I mean, you know, something like that could
happen. And I'm surprised I didn't hurt myself
severely because that used to happen all the
time. It would be like fucking replacing valve
cover gaskets or something. a friend or your
brother or something sneaks up there while you're
not looking and you're like you hit your head
yep so yeah i could definitely see that and i
agree with it yeah i think it's pretty dangerous
to do that somebody who's got a tool in their
hand i know i was thinking it must have hurt
so bad that he couldn't do it yeah but he had
a socket wrench i mean i could see that going
upside the guy's head or inside him somewhere
yeah in some body orifice never to be removed
That sounds better. Yeah. And we'll get to that
list later. So, okay, yeah, we're on the same
page of that. I was the same way. I'm like, you
know what? Too boneheaded to let go. Yeah, yeah.
And also disfigurement and laceration. It didn't
say anything about a concussion, but who knows.
And medical attention being necessary. I mean,
all of this points towards a good settlement.
Yeah, I think from the insurance company, because
the guy that owns the escape, you know, he's
making payments. And you don't want the escape.
No, no. So, all right, go ahead. That's all I
got with that one. Next up, let's get fast to
this point. I've got the top 28 albums of 2025
according to musicnews .com. And the interesting
thing about this list is I haven't heard of most
of them. Okay. So this isn't rock and roll. This
is all albums. All albums. Okay, I like that.
Last week you done rock and roll. Yeah. Okay.
So this one, the number one is from a band called
Geese, and the album's called Getting Killed.
Okay. Number two, Wolf Alice. And the album's
called Declaring. This next one is, I saw a second
article about this saying that some people are
not too pleased with this album. They're not
real comfortable with it. The band is FKA Twigs.
And the album's called Eusexua. Okay. And apparently
there's something about it that people are objecting
to. There's some controversy. I didn't look into
it. Okay. Number four, Self -Esteem, A Complicated
Woman. The name of the band? Self -Esteem. Number
five, Alex G. in the album Headlights. Okay.
Number six, Sia Gray in the album Sia. S -A -Y
-A. Okay. James K. in his album Play. A band
called This Is Lorelai. And the album Hollow
Boy. Or Holo Boy. Okay. Number nine. Wednesday.
And the album It Bleeds. Okay. Yeah. Okay. That's
it. Apparently these are really popular according
to musicnews .com, but they don't play them on
the radio stations either. Yeah, me neither.
I don't. Here's one called The Viagra Boys. And
their album is called Viagra A Boys. Okay. I
love the name. Love the name. But never heard
of them. Yep. This next one's pretty good. Get
Down Services is the band. I like that one too.
Their album is Primordial Slot Machine. Oh. Okay.
That gets an A plus for originality. Isn't that
awesome? Yeah. That's like something like, oh,
let me think of a band. Zodiac Mine War for several
months. Yes. I'm glad you remember that. A lot
of people don't. Yeah. That was Feed My Frankenstein.
Yeah. They're the ones who wrote that one. Yep.
Let's see. Number 12. Home Counties and their
album Humdrum. I don't know if their album was
kind of humdrum. Why would you want to buy it?
Yeah. Here's a band I've actually heard of. Tame
Impala. I don't think I've heard of them. I've
heard of Tame Impala, and their album is called
Deadbeat. I like that. Number 14, Shame, and
the album Cutthroat. Okay. Number 15, Sports
Team, and their album is called Boys These Days.
I like that title. Here's another one I've actually
heard of the band, Arcade Fire. Yeah, I've heard
of them. Their album is Pink Elephant. Okay.
So apparently that was the 16th biggest album
of last year. Okay. Number 17, Welly, Big in
the Suburbs. Okay. Number 18, Divorce, and their
album Drive to Goldenhammer. I'm not sure where
Golden Hammer is. I don't know. I don't know
if I want to go there. Maybe it's something that
swingers do. Maybe it's Fuckhammer, the band.
Yeah, and they add a golden shower, so it's golden.
Yeah, the lead singer, Reggie Filt, I'm sure
he lives there. Yeah, I imagine so. Yeah, you
met Reggie Filt. Yeah, he's the brother of Motorhead's
drummer. Was it Filth Taylor's name? Yeah, yeah.
Filthy Animal. Filthy Animal, yep. All right,
number 19, The Murder Capital. The album is Blindness.
Okay. I wonder which city would be the murder
capital. Chicago, I believe. I think it's Chicago,
yeah. Number 20, Anthony Smirik, Service Station
at the End of the Universe. It's kind of interesting.
It's like Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. You
end up at the service station at the end of the
universe. True, true. 21, Sam Fender, People
Watching. Freddie Fender's great -nephew. Yeah,
and Leo Fender's grandson. Oh, yeah, yeah, yep.
Number 22, Nas and DJ Premier, Light Years. 23,
The Clips, Let God Sort Them Out. Wasn't there
a Megadeth album like that? That's what I thought,
too. Kill Them All. Kill Them All. No, that was
Metallica. Oh, that was Metallica. Yeah. Okay.
Kill Them All, God Will Know His Own. 24, The
Hives. And their album is called The Hives Forever
Forever The Hives. Okay, I'm glad they like The
Hives. Yeah. Okay. Number 25, Raekwon, The Emperor's
New Clothes. Okay. 26, Mobb Deep, Infinite. Okay.
27, Pulp, More. Okay. And number 28, C -MAT and
their album Euro Country. Okay. It was originally
going to be called Euro Trash, but they figured
they'd sell more if they changed it to Euro Country.
Okay. So I've heard about two of those bands.
Yeah, I think same here. But look at us covering
bands we've never heard of. I know, yeah. Just
because our listeners want to. We are good like
that. All right. Is that all of them? Is that
the list? That's the list. All right, how about...
The truth of the Rock Feuds of yesteryear. What
really happened. Excellent. Yeah. Enough time
has gone by. They can actually tell the truth
of what was going on. And that's what they're
doing. That's what they're doing now. These two
muffins here are yours. I'm full, man. That sandwich
was huge. So go ahead. I'll grab one. I'm hungry
still. I don't think I'm going to eat another
one. That sandwich was fantastic. It was good.
Yeah, his wife makes a killer breakfast sandwich.
Yes, she did. Oh, she could sell them. I think
she could. Oh, yeah. Yeah, and it was huge. So
I'm kind of done for right now. Yeah. All right.
Nirvana versus Axl Rose. I think we all remember
that. Yeah. MTV, Axl, Nirvana making fun, all
that good stuff. All right. And then Nirvana
turned it, turned it down. They turned down the
tour that Guns N' Roses invited them on. They
said, no, they're too commercial. And that flipped
GNR out. You know, Axl Rose in particular. I
guess him and Vince quit fighting. He needed
someone else. I don't know. Alright, a few moments
were an emblematic of the contention between
the hard rock of the 80s and the grunge of the
early 90s as a confrontation between Axl Rose
and members of Nirvana at the 1992 MTV Video
Music Awards. Wow. Kurt Cobain and wife Courtney
Love were backstage with their infant daughter
when Love asked the Guns N' Roses singer to be
her godfather. Supposed to be Courtney Bean's
godfather, right? Yeah. Asked him. Rose reportedly
told Cobain, you shut up your bitch or I'm taking
you down to the pavement right now. Wow. What
a weird reaction. It always went down as Cobain
started. Yeah. It always went down as Cobain
said he didn't want posers and he wasn't going
to have anything to do with them and he didn't
want them there. Interesting. Yeah. Like you
said, they can tell the truth now. That was working
for them before that. You know, Kurt Cobain snubbing
him and all that. That worked great because that
made people pay attention. But now nobody cares.
They're telling the truth of it. Yeah. So, anyhow,
Cobain turned to his wife and he said, shut up,
bitch. Wow. I bet Courtney loved that one. Yeah.
Well, it doesn't say what... Courtney loved my,
I mean, I couldn't imagine her saying anything
too bad because why would she ask him to be the
godfather of their child if she said something
bad to him? Did she ask him that as like a sarcastic
insult or was she being sincere? Who knows? It
didn't really explain it, unfortunately. Now,
if it's sarcastic, I can see how it could strike
up a fight. Yeah. So, Doug McKagan and Chris
Novoselic also exchanged words later after Nirvana's
performance of Lithium. Dave Grohl got on the
microphone and said, hi Axl, into his microphone.
So, nothing bad but enough to provoke him. McKagan
members, let's see, McKagan eventually patched
up things with all three Nirvana members. When
Rose broke his foot on the eve of Guns N' Roses
reunion tour in 2016. Grohl let the singer the
throne he had built after he fell off stage and
broke his leg the year before during a Foo Fighters
show. Yeah. So they get along good now. Yeah,
interesting. It does a nice little gesture, too.
And the feud was really, to me, not really a
feud anyhow. Yeah, I think it was something blown
up by their respective management teams because
it's, you know, any publicity is good publicity.
Everything I just stated here was nothing. Nothing.
I remember Nirvana having a sneering attitude
to a lot of bands. Yeah, they didn't like any
of the 80s stuff. They were the new guys. They
were both... Nirvana and Pearl Jam were on another
Video Music Awards show. And Pearl Jam, I think,
performed the song Jeremy. And after the show,
Kurt Cobain was acting genuinely surprised. saying,
you know, I thought Eddie Vedder was just a nobody
and a poser and a wannabe, but, you know, he
actually has some passion. I remember that, yeah.
Yeah, so he said he was pleasantly surprised,
but at the same time, he still managed to say,
I thought he was nothing but a loser and a poser
and a wannabe. I think his first analysis was
correct. Yeah, eventually, yeah. He should have
went with it. How about the feud between Paul
McCartney and Michael Jackson? Oh, yeah. Because
they were buds for a while. Okay, for every other
example, we're going to stay out of the pop realm
and stick with rock star on rock star action.
However, when you manage to piss off one of the
peace -loving Beatles like Michael Jackson did
in 1985, you earn yourself a spot on this list.
As the story goes, Paul McCartney made a big
mistake sharing his investment advice with Jackson.
We've already spoke about this, but this is clarifying
it a little bit better. After he told his two
-time duet partner how much money he could make
by buying the publishing rights to hit songs,
the king of pop turned around and bought the
company that owned most of the Fab Four's catalog.
McCartney stated, I think it's dodgy to do things
like that. So McCartney, it wasn't a surprising
response because he feels like he double -crossed
him. All Michael Jackson had to do was tell him,
hey, I'm putting in a bid for these. Yeah. That
would have fixed everything. It gave the impression
he was doing it behind McCartney's back. Yeah,
but I tell you what I think really happened is
there's so much things that Michael Jackson was
involved in that he didn't even know because
of his management. I think it was a management
thing, and I think he was probably just as surprised
as Paul McCartney. Yeah, I don't think he was
making all the day -to -day business decisions.
No, he had his investment crew. And they saw
this opportunity. And then when that happened,
I think he was kind of like, oh, shit, I didn't
expect that. But at that time, he was already
done. So, yeah. So, Paul McCartney said, it's
like you have a friend in your house, and he
loves a rug, and he turns around and buys it
from someone else. Yeah. So, yeah. So, all right.
The next one, how about Tommy Lee versus Kid
Rock? Once again, the VMAs was the site of this
altercation. MTV pissed people off. Yeah, yeah.
It must have been the pink cocaine they were
serving backstage. I think it was. Makes you
aggressive. It does. The two -time between Tommy
Lee and Kid Rock, no, not two -time, this time,
between Tommy Lee and Kid Rock in 2007, the two
started feuding five years earlier when Rock
was divorcing Pamela Anderson, to whom Lee previously
had been married. Yeah. Lee and Anderson were
sitting together when Rock approached them, as
Lee wrote, I stand up and embrace him with a
semi -hug and say, hey, dude, what up? He punches
me in the face. Well, if you want to call it
that, it's more like a bitch slap. And then he
said he's a wuss. Security intervened and escorted
Lee out of the building before he could retaliate,
Rock said. this was unavoidable i had to do that
okay i think there's more to it that they're
not saying yeah um i think that lee just the
way he spoke here and just knowing his intelligence
grade probably mouthed off to him first yeah
yeah so i think probably something about penis
size Yeah, yeah, probably. You'll never match
this, haha. Yeah. Yeah, something like that.
So, you know, he said he had a long time coming.
I came back from the bathroom and he's sitting
right there. It was like even more disrespectful,
everything he said. I was like, that's enough,
that's it. So there, right there, says that Tommy
Lee was about to compress. Yeah. And then he'd
come up and tried to make it good by hugging
him, and Rock wasn't having it. Rock said, oh,
yeah? That makes sense, yeah. Yeah, here, I'll
give you the good news about what you said. There
you go. Did you ever hear the one about Marilyn
Manson and Trent Reznor? No, no. I actually saw
the two together in concert. They're good now.
Okay. Yeah, but no, that one, I think that's
before the two. Yeah, because it was Marilyn
Manson's first album, Portrait of an American
Family, and Nine Inch Nails, I forget which album,
but it was Downward Spiral. I don't know what
number that was, fourth or fifth. That was the
third. No, no, fourth. Yeah, they had Pretty
Hate Machine. Broken. Broken. Maybe it was the
third one. Maybe it was the third one, yeah.
It was the third one, that's right. Yeah, it
was the third one. And Downward Spiral is one
that got more airplay than any other one. Yeah,
yeah. Even though Pretty Hate Machine was probably
his epic. Yeah, even Trent doesn't really like
that one. He thinks a lot of those songs should
have been worked on a whole lot more. He says
they all kind of sound like techno pop to him.
They were, but, I mean, that's also the beauty
of it. It was good. I mean, it was different
at the time. Yeah, there's one really haunting
song, and they're called I Just Want Something
I Can Never Have. Yeah. It's basically piano
and hymn singing and some kind of industrial
sound effects. Well, to me, it's a perfect song.
Yeah. I mean, because what he's saying is described
in the music without him saying it. Yeah, yeah.
It's a perfect blending of thematic matter and
sound. Yeah, it is art in its finest primitive
form. Okay, Trent Reznor and Marilyn Manson started
out as friends with Manson being signed to Reznor
Label and the Nine Inch Nails star producing
Manson's early albums. And Manson played guitar
on some of Reznor's albums. He did. Yeah, he's
actually got credits on a few albums. But tensions
came to a head during the sessions of Antichrist
Superstar. I think that was the tour, wasn't
it? No, that was after Downward Spiral. Okay,
okay. Anyhow, things got shitty between us, and
I'm not blameless. Reznor said in a 2009 interview
with Rolling Stone where he called Manson a dopey
clown. Well, he did like dope. Yeah, he did.
He did. He was in the dope show. There was a...
quote from Marilyn Manson he said he went over
to Billy Corgan's house and they're both taking
these these pills that somebody gave them and
they they decided the pills made them feel fruity
so that was the only word that seemed to fit
we felt fruity so he gets high with Billy Corgan
at least fruity I don't know what that means
I have no idea either I'm glad they had fun The
majority of it, though, was coming from a resentment
guy who finally got out from under the master's
umbrella and was able to stab him in the back.
So this is Reznor talking about Manson. And it
was drug -related on everyone's part. Manson
said in 2017, trying to clarify the situation,
I won't incriminate him on anything. We were
all on drugs, so to speak. I just remember when
we got in a fight, and he kicked me out of the
studio, and he then smashed the hard drive. So
for so many years, I thought the Masters of Enterprise
Superstar were destroyed. Manson added in the
same area that the two had patched things up,
and he also recovered the drive. Oh, okay. He
had another one. That's good. So when he smashed
it, I think Fred Resnore did that for effect,
but he knew he had another one. That's smart.
Yeah, so. How about Vivian Campbell versus Ronnie
James Dio? Ooh, that's a good one. Well, Dio
started going off the end for a while there,
and every time someone asked him, I hope he dies,
fuck him, yo, he's a piece of shit, he would
just say the most awfulest things about Vivian
Campbell. And it's still, Wendy Dio says he quit,
Ronnie James Dio, Wendy Dio, Vivian Campbell
says he was fired. Yeah, that's a tough one to
figure out. Well, Vivian Campbell said he was
fired on the spot right there, and he never looked
back. But I guess Wendy Dio viewed it as, hey,
that wasn't like an official firing. You know,
Ronnie lost his temper, which he's known to do.
And you should have got with me instead of leaving
and never coming back. I think he was fired because
the words came out of Dio's mouth, and he's the
owner of the band. But anyhow. Vivian Campbell
versus RJD. That's the cool kid's way of saying
Ronnie James Dio. Just to let everybody know,
okay? That way, next time someone asks you who
RJD is, you can say Ronnie James Dio. Or make
up something, they won't know. All right. Although
they made great records together in the early
80s, yeah, I think that Def Leppard Guitars,
those records they made together were fucking
classic. Amazing stuff. Deaf -lover guitarist
Vivian Campbell and the late Ronnie James Deere
clearly didn't see eye to eye. A few years prior
to his death, Deere made his feelings on Campbell
crystal clear, declaring he's a fucking asshole.
He's a piece of shit. And that's what I'm talking
about. That's pretty hard to misinterpret. Yeah,
and it was all over the internet. Whoever took
the video that he didn't see when he said that
posted it everywhere. Because he was talking
to one guy directly and he turned around. and
he saw the camera and you could see it's like
oh and there's no way to straighten it out he
knew that guy's gonna go and run with it so you
can watch it right now if you wanted to um although
he said regrets for the deal as one of the vilest
people in the industry campbell maintains that
it was he who was wrong by the legendary singer
i didn't quit that man they quit me i'm proud
of those records for years and years ronnie excluded
me from that in 2012 he reunited with the original
deal band members with a new singer promising,
I wrote those riffs, I'm going to take them back.
Yeah, and that was the last in line. Oh, okay.
That incarnation. There have been a lot of Dio
tribute bands, per se, of different members of
his bands through the eras. Yeah. Because one
of them was Greg Goldie. Form 1. And I think
it's called Dio and the Disciples. Yeah, I think
I remember that one. And Craig Goldie also did
the hologram. He played guitar. Oh, okay. Yeah.
And they had Tim Ripper -Owens, Oney Logan, and
another guy singing whenever Dio wasn't up there
on the hologram. Interesting. But not something
I'd be interested in seeing again. Yeah. It wasn't
nearly the grand thing. I'm sure they come a
long ways. But to me, it was very... apparent
that Dio was not there. A hologram is supposed
to be like, oh shit, look at that. It was anything
but that to me, but anyhow. Alright, Courtney
Love versus Ryan Adams is my final one here.
Oh, okay. I've forgotten all about this. In 2008,
Courtney Love, who's rolling Guns N' Roses feud
with Nirvana, is already described above. accused
Ryan Adams of using $858 ,000 from her daughter's
trust fund to record his 2003 album, Rock and
Roll, which was produced by the then -boyfriend,
Jim Barber. And that would be Courtney Loves.
In addition to calling it one of the worst records
I could think of in rock and roll history, she
intimidated... Hey there, slap nuts. It's time
for The Creeps Music News. Hey my little pumpkin
seeds, this is Johnny Rohypnol with your music
news. During an appearance on July 8th episode
of SiriusXM's Trunk Nation, Tony Omi spoke about
some of his upcoming music -related projects,
including a full -length collection of new material
from legendary Black Sabbath guitarist. Tony
said, as transcribed by Blabbermouth .net, Well,
at the moment, I was doing my own album until
Back to the Beginning event came up, and then
of course I had to stop and concentrate on preparing
for the Sabbath performance. But I'm continuing
next week to try to finish off what I started
with this album. And then who knows what I'm
going to do. It's great, really. Because if something
pops up, I'll do it if I want to do it. Asked
if his upcoming album is a Tony Omi solo record
with guests on it, like he's done before with
the legendary 2000s IOMI, the guitarist responded,
At the moment, no. I've got one singer on it.
which I originally thought of different singers,
but it started off as it was going to be an instrumental
album, and it's gone from that into a full -fledged
Tony Iommi project. But then I thought, oh, wait,
I want to try it with a singer. So that's what
I've been doing. This is Johnny Rohypnol. That
was your music news. And remember, bar chords
are bullshit. Made it at a sexual relationship
between the two. It demanded her payback, or
I will litigate, is what Courtney Love said.
You're thieving ass from here until eternity.
I'm trying to figure out how Ryan Adams was able
to get access to Courtney's daughter's trust
fund. No, that's what I'm wondering, too. You
can't just walk up and go, hey, I'd like to.
Somebody gave him that money. Exactly. So Adams
waited more than a year to respond. He issued
a statement to Gawker where he denied any romantic,
personal, or financial involvement with love.
I would too. Even if you did it, I would deny
it. Oh, no, I would too. Even a drunken night
when I was single. Someone goes, hey, Mark, someone
said no. Never touch that. No, I wasn't even
in town. No. All right. They don't make condoms
thick enough. No. I could not take enough showers.
No. I would still be taking a shower right now.
That'd be 30 years ago, 40 years ago, whatever.
I wouldn't even fuck her with somebody else's
dick. No. Well, I could name a couple people
that I'd do that with their dick just to be an
asshole. Well, yeah. But other than that, no,
yeah, I agree. So... When Adams went to Gawker,
he said that she confused him with Barber and
that rock and roll was paid for by his label,
which Barber produced, which Barber could have
maybe stole money out of the account. Yeah, interesting.
But according to this, it wasn't Ryan Adams.
Not to be confused with Summer of 69, Ryan. Ryan,
yeah. Ryan is different. But it sounds to me
like somebody else committed the crime and just
gave the money to Ryan Adams. And she blamed
Ryan Adams. Yeah, if you don't know the money's
stolen and somebody gives it to you, then you're
not to blame. Yeah, no, I mean, how is he going
to get her money unless he's... directly dealing
with her, which he wasn't. Or unless his name
is on the trust, in which case he's entitled
to get into it because his name's on it. Yeah,
this sounds like just a weird mess that needs
a lot more explanation. Yeah, I think so too.
Corbin or whatever his name is, I think you've
got to look at him as being more of a culprit
than Ryan Adams because he had more direct access
to love and any funds that could have been available.
And also, another thing that's important to mention
here, there was never a lawsuit. Oh, yeah. At
$850 ,000, you'd think there'd be some sort of
action. So I'm thinking maybe she's having a
bad day with drugs. I don't know. This is all
allegedly. Who knows? So that's all I got. It
does sound like something that she eventually
figured out, yeah, I can't do anything about
this, but I'm not going to take it back. So they
just let it drop. Yeah. That's all I got. All
right. I mean, I have more stuff, but that's
all I have. Okay. Well, how would you like to
hear a list of alternatives to the Gibson Les
Paul standard? Oh, would you call them alternatives?
These would be Les Paul alternatives. Les Paul
alternatives. I would love to hear this. Now,
a Gibson Les Paul is somewhere between $2 ,500
and $3 ,000 for the Les Paul standard. So not
everybody can afford that. Not everybody wants
to pay that. And this is Gibson's doing. Yeah,
yeah. All the way. They didn't have to. Nope.
So I came up with a list of alternatives of guitars
that almost all of them have the Les Paul shape
and can do what a Les Paul does, but are significantly
cheaper. And like we were saying on the way down
here in the car, you cannot... copyright that
body style. No. So they all look just like Les
Paul's. Yeah. Well, anyhow, go ahead, please.
So up first on the list is Agile, A -G -I -L
-E, model 2500 through 3010SC. They range anywhere
from $250 to $600 on the used market. They're
Korean -made. Some models have a multi -radius
neck. which a lot of players like. It's bottom
of the neck. It's good for rhythm playing, and
the top of the neck is good for solo playing.
It features coil tapping, a Graphtec nut, a maple
cap, Alnico 5 pickups for that good raunchy sound,
a five -piece neck through style, whereas the
neck is made of five pieces, and it goes all
the way through the body for awesome sustain.
Ebony fretboard. I mean, it's just loaded with
features. and they play really well, and they're
about $600, anywhere from $250 to $600 on the
used market. Any Korean -made or Japanese -made
guitar is going to have really good build quality.
No, I would agree. That sounds like a really
good alternative, actually. Up next, we have
the Tokai, T -O -K -A -I, the LS -101F. They
go for about $1 ,200. brand new. They're a mahogany
one -piece set neck, a maple cap, Gotoh hardware,
which is a good brand, a bone nut, switchcraft
jack, orange drop capacitors, made in Japan.
There's a YouTube channel that I watch from a
guy called, his name is Shane, and his channel's
called In The Blues, and he's a lefty, and he
plays a lefty tokai, and it sounds amazing. It's
a really good sounding guitar. Chances are you're
going to have to have it shipped from Japan,
but it's still cheaper than a Les Paul standard.
Up next we have the LTD line that's made by ESP,
which is a Japanese company. ESP is the premier
line, LTD is the everybody else line. Their Les
Paul copies are called Eclipse, or EC for short.
So you can get the EC200DX for $400, brand new.
you can get their top -of -the -line EC 1007
baritone 7 -string with an Evertune bridge for
$17 .99. Wow. And they're actually made, these
LTDs are actually made in China, but there are
a lot of plants in China that are putting out
awesome quality plants. Oh, I know. It's not
China. A lot of stuff there is not like it used
to be. No. They are making state -of -the -art
quality products now. Yes, they are. It's amazing.
Yeah. anywhere from $400 to $1800 depending on
the features you want and you can get them with
just all sorts of awesome wonderful features.
Really affordable. I've played the EC -256 and
it was pretty good. It needed a little bit of
fine -tuning. You know, some of the frets were
a little sharp. A few things needed to be kind
of smoothed down, but it sounded awesome. So
that's a really good alternative. Here's one
that's a little harder to find. The brand name
is Bernie, B -U -R -N -Y, and it's the LG 75.
You can only get them used anymore, but they're
like $6 .50 and up used, and they're Japanese
made. And there's a number of people that tour
with Bernie Les Pauls because they're just so
much better. Yeah. You don't really notice that
they're not Gibson Les Pauls from the stage.
No, but that's the thing, too, is nobody ever
looks and tries to look for that Gibson insignia
on the head. Yeah, and anybody who's paying attention
to that, why would you want to impress them?
Exactly, you don't care, yeah. Here's another
really good one, Heritage. Now, when Gibson up
and left their Kalamazoo, Michigan plant and
moved to Nashville, a bunch of their former employees
stayed behind, bought the factory, and started
putting out guitars under the Heritage name.
I love that story. Yeah, I remember you reported
that quite a while ago. So they have the Heritage
H -150, which is kind of the, I mean, it's not
a beginner or entry -level guitar, but it's kind
of the least expensive one they make. $2 ,000.
But it's made in the Kalamazoo, Michigan plant
on all the equipment that was used for decades
to make Gibsons, including the pickup winders
and the neck profilers and everything is exactly
everything they used to use to make Gibsons.
I've got a little trivia on that plant. Oh, okay,
cool. Did you know, because I was up in Kalamazoo,
I had to go there a few times for a couple of
jobs. That plant is right next to Central Time.
If you went a little bit on their yard to the
west, went to the west just slightly, and still
on their property, you're in central time. Funny.
Yeah. You can jump between eastern and central.
They go by eastern, but they were like so close
to central they could have taken either. Funny.
I mean, the line is just like right there on
their property. Yeah, you figure it's got to
be somewhere. There's probably somebody's house
somewhere where the bedroom is in one time zone.
There is. It's like, damn, I have to get up.
So I walked to the living room, and then I got
another hour of sleep. It's just outside of Kalamazoo,
actually. Just right outside of Kalamazoo. The
line is right there. They're barely eastern.
Funny. I know. Isn't that something? And you
want to hear something funnier? Sure. Did you
know that the Panhandle of Florida, a good chunk
of it, like Pensacola and that whole area, is
central time? So you look up there how far over
eastern time it is, you draw a straight line
down, it does not seem like Florida would go
that far over. Yeah, you wouldn't think. No,
but it does. Oh, wow. Yeah, I guess they ascend
farther west than Georgia. Yeah, but it doesn't,
yeah. They go almost all the way up to Alabama.
Under Louisiana, Alabama, and Mississippi, a
little bit under Mississippi, yeah. A couple
years, a year or so ago, we stayed in Gulf Shores,
Alabama, and you could look down the coastline
and see Florida. It was just like right there.
It's like, see those condos and hotels and all
that stuff? That's Florida. It's just right there.
And I don't think they're under Mississippi.
I think it stops in Alabama, actually. Mobile,
that whole area. Mobile's like really close.
Yeah, because Alabama gets that little wedge
down at the coast that cuts off Florida from
Louisiana. But the Heritage guitars, you can
get them with nitro finish, a bone nut, and they
use Seymour Duncan pickups. Oh, nice. Yeah. And
this one in particular comes with the 59s, which
I have a set of 59s in one of my Les Pauls, and
they're amazing. They've got real hard, snarly
chorale tunes. It's awesome. Oh, good. Good.
The one person I saw who was doing some comparisons
that included the Heritage guitar, he was saying
the way it feels and the way it plays and the
way it sounds, he likes it better than he gets
in the Les Paul Standard. But the only issue
he has is the headstock is just really freaking
ugly. Which some people are okay with it, but
I agree. It's a pretty freaking ugly headstock.
I agree. I mean, it looks like a 10 -year -old
cut it out with a handsaw. It's just plain and
dumpy. Yeah, it could have been so much better.
If you ever came up with that idea, it needs
fire. Yeah. All right. Next up, we have FGN,
which is short for FujiGen. Japanese, of course.
They're modeled the NLC 200 EMH. Goes for about
$1 ,000 used. It's Japanese made. They use Seymour
Duncan JB and 59 pickups, ebony fretboard, set
neck, goto hardware. Pretty much all top of the
line stuff. For a third of the price of a new
Les Paul Standard, you're getting a Japanese
made awesome guitar. Wow. Yeah. Then, of course,
there are the Epiphones. My favorite. They're
my favorite. They start at about $300 for the
special two. They don't even call it a Les Paul.
They call it a special two. And then one of their
highest -priced ones is the... They call it the
Inspired by Gibson Custom because it's inspired
by the Gibson Custom Shop. And it's a 1959 recreation
Les Paul. So it's got 50 specs. I remember seeing
it. And they added the Gibson Custom Bucker pickups,
which is a $500 set of pickups. And the whole
guitar is $1 ,300. Yeah, I don't know how they
do that. And that's one I'm going to check out
next October when we go to the Gibson Garage.
I'm going to look at that one. Definitely. That's
incredible. Yeah. An Epiphone with the Gibson
pickups custom. Yep. And they're even using the
Gibson style headstock now on Epiphones. Wow.
Yeah. You and I have always been Epiphone fans.
Yeah, absolutely. And like I said, the greats
use Epiphone. They don't use Les Paul. I'm sorry,
but yeah. Yeah. I mean, they probably own Gibsons
and they keep them at home. Yeah. But you take
them out on the road, you take the Epiphones
because they can take a hell of a beating. Yeah.
And also, they have that sound. Yeah, they do.
Next up, we have Edwards ELP -108. Those also
go for about $1 ,000 used. Made in Japan by ESP.
So ESP's Japanese side make the Edwards. So it's
even better than the LTD. Is there still ESPs
in America? Yeah, the ESP has an American line
that's made in America. And then they've got
a Japanese line that's made in Japan. I haven't
kept track of ESPs in a long time, that's why
I asked. They're still breaking out a lot of
really good guitars. I could see that. They've
always been pretty quality. But the ELP -108
has the JB and 59 pickups. It's what Seymour
Duncan sold as their hot rod. pickup set except
instead of 59 in the neck it's named after emerson
lincoln palmer yeah um it's also it's got binding
top of the line features left right center so
that would be i mean that would be any of these
could be your main guitar next up navigator lp
You can get them $1 ,300 and up on the used market.
They're Japanese -made, again, made by ESP. They
come with high -end pickups, high -end wiring,
the best hardware, beautiful finishes. They're
just amazing guitars. Sometimes they don't sell
well because it says Navigator on the headstock
instead of Gibson. People get a little itchy,
but they're still awesome guitars. Paul Reed
Smith makes a McCarty 594 single cut. Now, they
make them in several lines. This is the SE line,
which is their lower cost one. $900 new. It has
the 5815LT pickups, which are slightly underwound
to give a good vintage feel. They're called 5815s
because they replicate the 1958 Gibson pickups,
and they were introduced in 2015, 5815. Maple
cap on a mahogany body, a set neck, so it's glued
in instead of bolted on. Got the push -pull,
coil tapping, wiring. It's got all the bird inlays.
It's a beautiful guitar, and it's one of their
best -selling because for the McCarty 594 SE
at $900, you're getting about $1 ,500 worth of
features for only $900. And I think those are
made in Indonesia. which is also a really good
place for guitar making. I think Wildwood makes
them. Yeah, I think so. At least the PRS I have
is made by Wildwood in Indonesia. IYV, I'm not
sure what that stands for. It's a Chinese company,
and their model is the IJZ -300A. Okay, never
heard of them. Now, this is a hollow body Les
Paul. A hollowbine? Yeah. Okay. So it's got a
spruce top, which for acoustics you want a spruce
top. It's got basswood sides, a mahogany back,
a nyatone neck, and a jatoba fingerboard. Now
all these other kinds of woods are basically
different varieties of mahogany. They're all
pretty much like mahogany. They're a dark, tropical
hardwood that gives a warm and rich tone to everything.
That's cool. Except for the spruce top. The picture
I saw, the finish was beautiful. It had a trapeze
bridge. Nice inlays on the neck. $210. What?
That's it. For a hollow body Gibson style electric
guitar with really good body woods. $210. And
if you want to, you can add different pickups
or whatever. $210, you've got a lot of money
to play with it. Yeah, absolutely. You can spend
the same amount on a good setup and the front
level. Why not buy them? Yeah, it would have
its own unique sound as a hollow body. I mean,
yeah, I think it would sound great just by the
surface of the woods and what you're talking
about, the hollow body. Yeah. Wow. Next up. Firefly.
Have you heard of Firefly guitars? Yep. These
are another Chinese brand. They're a little bit
more popular than they used to be. Yeah. These
feature mahogany bodies with rosewood fingerboards,
a bone nut binding, really nice finishes, and
you can get used ones on Reverb starting at $110.
And new ones are around $300. Wow. Yeah. Another
one where all you got to do, you can change out
some of the pickups. Yeah. Yeah. Because a lot
of stuff on it is budget, but those are easy
to replaceable, and then you've got a really
nice guitar. Oh, yeah. You can even do like an
Eddie Van Halen or a Jimi Hendrix or something.
Yeah. Cheap a guitar. Drill some holes in that
thing. See what it sounds like. Yeah. Hey, you
only spent a couple hundred on it. Yeah. It's
basically a disposable guitar. Exactly. That's
what I'm saying. You can come up with all kinds
of crazy ideas. Harley Benton. You've heard of
Harley Benton? They're usually sold by this European
music distributor called Thomann. It took me
a minute, but I know who you're talking about.
They start at $125 and go up to $440. Brand new.
And they use some of the cheaper woods. Poplar,
Okoumi, Nyoto, Maranti. Those are all mahogany
replicas. Put a maple cap on it. The more expensive
ones will have a set neck instead of a bolt -on.
These roasted maple necks. That's roasted. Roasted
maple. It makes it nice and hard. Oh, okay. Yeah,
they actually roast it in a fire. It gives it
a beautiful color, and it makes it nice and hard.
I bet it does. Ebony fingerboards, graph tech
nuts, stainless steel frets. which is usually
a couple hundred dollar upgrade. Yeah, that is.
Roswell pickups, locking tuners. I mean, that's
the thing about Harley Benton is they loaded
up with features. Just tons of features for anywhere
from $125 to $440. Again, one of these guitars
that you can do whatever you want with because
it's so cheap to buy. Yeah. Wow. And you're getting
a brand new guitar. Yeah. Wow. Insane. Ibanez
has the AR series. Now, this is a double cut,
but not exactly like an SG. But it's like, imagine
a Les Paul body has the one cut on the lower
side. Imagine replicating it on the top side.
So it's got, like, devil horns. Oh, yeah. Yamaha
made one like that called the Yamaha SG. And
they got sued. But this Ibanez AR double cut,
I looked at the AR420. They range between $650
and $750. They're made in China. Maple and Okuomi
bodies, Jotoba fretboard, Super 58 pickups, which
are used on a lot of Ibanez models. They replicate
the 1958 Gitz pickups. I've got 57s, I've got
59s, I don't have 58s. But it's a big, heavy
guitar, and it was kind of built to be... a Les
Paul killer. They're supposed to be like, people
buy this instead of the Les Paul because it's
so much cheaper. Yeah. And it kind of didn't.
But they're still excellent guitars. That's good.
Schecter is another brand that used. They are
an insane value because their resale price, their
resale value is just ridiculously low. They're
good guitars, excellent finishes, and they're
a good buy when they're new. But used, they're
a fantastic body. The Schecter Solo II goes anywhere
from $400 to $1 ,200 used, depending on how many
features. We have maple neck, graphite nut, 14
-inch radius neck, so it's wide and flat for
soloing. Bolt -on neck, mahogany body. The $1
,200 one adds better woods, better pickups, a
glued -in neck, better hardware, and better wiring.
So still, for $1 ,200, you get... A beautiful
looking Schecter guitar that's going to play
like a beast and have all the features you want.
And it's still a third of the price of the standard.
Wow. And they just keep coming. DeArmond. Remember,
you ever heard of DeArmond guitars? I've seen
a few, but I've never really looked at them seriously.
It does not ring a bell to me at all. They've
been bought by Gretsch. And then Gretsch was
bought by Fender. So basically their own defender.
So the M66 model through the M700 model, they
range from $400 to $1 ,000. Agatha's body with
a NATO neck. They're USA -made D 'Armo Tron pickups.
Now that's pretty good to get USA -made pickups.
The D 'Armo Trons are basically like the Gretsch
Filter Trons, but just a little tweaked. And
the filter trons are pretty popular pickups.
They have weight relief, Korean made. The M70
adds better pickups and no weight relief for
maximum sustain. Gretsch has the Streamliner
jet and the Electromatic jet. They go anywhere
from 320 to 600. Mahogany and maple, neck and
body, GravTech nut, hot wire pickups, bolt on
neck. Electro is mahogany maple with pure bolt
pickups, locking wraparound bridge, better wiring,
and a set neck. So either one of them is going
to be a really good sounding guitar. It's not
going to be something you'd want to record your
million -selling album with. For $600, you can't
go wrong. Again, all these guitars are just like,
they're experimental if you want them. I mean,
you can add your own stuff, do a little electronic
stuff, and if it ruins it, you're not out that
much money. I mean, that pawn shop guitar I bought,
well, Cindy bought it for my birthday. It was
a Samick, and it was $200, and it was built in,
like, 99, so it's an old guitar, but it's beautiful,
and it plays great, and it's one of my favorite
guitars. It was only $200. I just love it. Another
brand is Sire. Sire is starting to get more and
more attention. They have a Larry Carlton I5S
model for $700 and up. It's a slightly different
take on the Les Paul shape. It looks like somebody
who's trying to draw a Les Paul from memory and
didn't quite remember it. The waist of the guitar
is a little too pinchy and the proportions are
a little weird. But it still looks cool. It still
looks alright. It's got three pickups. A humbucker
in the bridge and then two single coils in the
center and neck. Swamp ash body and a maple neck,
which is kind of like a fender. A swamp ass body?
Swamp ass, yeah. Walking tuners, a vibrato, a
whammy bar, bolt on neck, bone nut. It's built
for toughness, tone, and versatility at the expense
of looking cool. I mean, it doesn't look super
cool. but it'll do absolutely everything you
could ever want a guitar to do. Okay. Sorry we
had to promote the program there. I watched a
short video of a guy playing the Larry Carlton
i5s. It sounded amazing. And, you know, he just
changed the sound by pushing, pulling, slipping
things around. He could get it to sound like
absolutely anything. It was pretty impressive.
For $700. That's... Like I said, man, these are
all experimental ones. Yep. All right, next up,
Godin, which is a Canadian company. They have
a Summit model for $650 and up used. They're
all made in Canada, mahogany body and maple neck.
Maple neck is unusual for this type. The woods
vary by the price. Pickups and tone circuit vary
by the price. For $650, you can get a pretty
straightforward Les Paul type. If you want to
spend more, you can get all sorts of different
tone options and circuits and ISO electronics
and all sorts of stuff. But start to finish in
the Godin line, they're all really, really well
made. I mean, the build quality is better than
you would think given the price. They're really
well made guitars. Anyhow, is that it? Is that
it? I mean, there were probably 20 or 30 more
I could have gone with. but everyone gets the
idea. There's tons of alternatives out there
from anywhere from 10 % to 50 % of the price
of a new Gibson Les Paul Standard. That's amazing,
the options. You used to not have the options
like you do now at all. Yeah, yeah. Just like
in the last 10 to 15 years, the kind of cheap
guitar market, beginner guitars, the quality
of those has gone through the roof. They used
to be junky guitars that could barely play. Now
they're really good instruments, and they're
only a few hundred dollars. It's just crazy.
So, I mean, there's really no reason not to get
one. If you want to play guitar, you want to
learn guitar, or you've always wanted the Les
Paul style sound, it's not that hard to pick
one up. Go play a few gigs, save the money, and
buy one of them. Right on. I even added Pantera
Cowboys from Hell. Yes. Or music on that. That
ought to get some attention. I just had to post
on social media that we're here because I keep
forgetting to do that. But, I mean, there's a
lot of people out on a Sunday. You never know.
There's a lot of people here. Yeah. All right.
Her Act Global will terminate MTV Music, MTV
80s, MTV 90s, and MTV Live across multiple territories.
the United Kingdom, Ireland, France, Germany,
and a full sack of other countries as well. Only
MTV HD will remain. MTV did a survey about the
termination of these channels and questioned
young adults about the trimming down of the programming.
Most of the youngsters said, this came from this
source. What's MTV? They have no idea. It's already
gone. Videos are gone. You know, the United States
still has certain MTV operations, unfortunately.
Yeah, yeah, my dish service has a few MTV channels.
Yeah, I mean, we hope the bullet comes for them
next. That way we can put on good, they can maybe
replace it with good programming. Yeah. Okay,
videos are already gone because nobody puts money
in videos anymore. No. A lot of them use AI with
a visualizer is what they call it. Yeah. And
it just comes up with weird patterns and images
that kind of match the music. And with no actual
story. Because no one's actually going to sit
down and watch and pay attention to the video.
It just doesn't happen anymore. It's just something
to be on in the background. No, yeah, they're
going to be somewhere working or, I don't know,
playing Frisbee or something. They're not going
to be looking at a visualizer. And videos used
to be a necessity because you really didn't have
anything else to do. You didn't have your smartphone.
It was cold outside. You want to know the newest
music. We had to tune in to MTV to get the videos.
But as I just spoke about, there's very few MTVs
left, and they're limited too. I remember hearing
bands talk about, we were in the studio recording
this album, and the label said, there's nothing
here we can make a video of, come up with another
song. That's how important it used to be. Now
it's no one gives a shit. Which is normal. Yeah,
video has lived its life and it's done now. It
is completely done. So, I mean, I don't have
any inkling to watch a video of you. It would
be fun to see some videos from like the 80s.
Just because they were so fun to watch the ones
when they really didn't quite know what they
were doing yet. Yeah, those are good. Or watch
the AHA one. It's the stencil drawing. And there
are actually some bands that started making their
own videos before there even was an MTV. Oh,
there are a lot of bands. Yeah. See, MTV didn't
come up with the idea of a music video. They
saw people already were making them and said,
let's just provide the channel to show these.
The Beatles had a lot of videos out. Mm -hmm.
Yeah. They did a lot on Sergeant Pepper. Let's
see, what else? Yeah, I mean, all of them did.
The Stones did some videos. I mean, it's amazing
the videos that they find from back then. Some
of them are just live performances, but they
released them as a video. Yeah. All right. You
got something? Yeah. Let's talk about Bob Violet.
That was the British punk rap duo that sparked
controversy in last June when they led the crowd
in the chant of Death, Death to the IDF, which
is the Israeli Defense Forces. They were arrested
for that. Turns out the police are now dropping
their investigation entirely over their controversial
Glastonbury performance. Now, when they did this
performance and led the crowd in the chant, their...
agency, UTA, dropped them, their representative
agency, and they were forced to cancel their
North American tour after their visas were revoked.
Wow! But last Tuesday, Avon and Somerset Police
announced that they were taking no further action
against the band after discovering there was
insufficient evidence for there to be a realistic
prospect of conviction. Now, I would think that
if you had a crowd of people and you... prompted
them and told them what to say and led them in
the chant that is wishing death upon people,
I would think that would be actionable, but apparently
not. Well, there's been metal bands sued over
that because of suicides. Yeah, true. But, I
mean, this is the actual band telling the crowd
to say, here's what you should say. This is actually
them doing it. Yeah. But responding to the decision
in a lengthy Instagram statement on Wednesday,
frontman Bobby Violin, and I feel like there's
two people in the band that go by the name Bobby
Violin, but that's one of the people. He wrote,
Really? Because, okay, over in Glastonbury, they
don't have freedom of speech. No, they don't.
They do not. That's an American thing. They do
not have it over there. And even in America where
you have the right of free speech, if you're
encouraging violence against somebody, that doesn't
fall under free speech anymore. It makes you
wonder. I'm not sure. Did they get some threats,
maybe? Could be. I don't know. Just a thought.
So Bobby Violin, whose real name is Pascal Robinson
Foster, claimed that the media and politicians
have consistently attacked them over the past
six months for using their platform to make a
display of solidarity with the Palestinian people.
So maybe this is them trying to kiss ass to the
pro -Palestinian side. Yeah, the pro -Palestinian
side. Yeah, well, we talked about Greta Thunberg
last week. People are supporting, in my opinion,
a lot of people are supporting an organization
that doesn't care about them at all. Yeah, yeah.
It's just weird. Yeah, I don't know. It's like,
you know, chickens who are big fans of Colonel
Sanders. Yes. Like, you don't make sense, man.
Yeah. And this is all our opinion. And, you know,
we all know what our opinions were. Yeah. Everyone's
got one, and they're like assholes. Everyone's
got one, and they all stink. You got something?
Barbara Streisand has shared a heartfelt message
praising Ariana Grande's beautiful voice. Taking
to Instagram on Tuesday, the Hollywood icon posted
a photo of herself and the Wicked for Good star
posing together in a recording studio because
they've done a song together. In the accompanying
caption, Barbara gushed over Ariana's talent
and work ethic. Quote, Ariana is a young woman
with an amazing talent. She has a beautiful voice
like no one else and so much more, the 83 -year
-old wrote. She can act, she can dance, she can
be funny. She's also sweet, kind, and thoughtful.
I'm very proud of you, Ariana. Thanks for singing
with me on my album, Big Hug, Barbara. Now, all
of this plays in really well to promoting both
of them and promoting the song. Well, I know
why she did it. Several people have already spoken
out against Barbra Streisand saying, why didn't
you address her apparent eating disorder? She's
wasting away. She's skin and bones. Why aren't
you addressing this? I haven't seen any recent,
but wow. Yeah, the joke is now that starving
African children are saving up food to send to
Ariana Grande because she looks like a concentration
camp victim. She is just boneless. Wow. I mean,
first she was white, and then she somehow turned
dark. Yeah, I know. Magically. Yeah, magically.
And now she's just, like, scrawny and wasting
away. And for Barbra Streisand to ignore that
and just use her for what she can use her for.
Yikes. She has a classic mental illness that's
been propped up to a star because she works good.
Yep. Britney Spears. There's a bunch of people
making money off of her so they don't want to
change a thing. Yeah, I mean, there's so many
different... The most common one that you can
point to is a Britney Spears. Yeah. They prop
up a hot -looking young lady, use her for everything
they can, and they don't give a shit about how
it destroys her. Yeah. Kind of like how they
treat child actors. It's the same thing, yeah.
Yeah. So, I wish Ariana Grande the best. And
continued success, and I really hope that she
gets some help because if she continues this
way, she's going to die soon. No, I know, and
I like her. She seems like a decent person. I
hope that she can get through this. I've got
to take a look at one of the recent photos. I
had no idea what's going on. Yeah, there's something
going on in her life, and she's just not eating.
Wow. I don't know if it's an illness or an eating
disorder. Maybe she has cancer. I don't know.
But healthy humans aren't that skinny. Yeah.
Wow. Okay. Creepy. Yeah, it is. All right. Now
we have a new Queen song coming out. Did you
know this? No. In what is being hailed as the...
Huh? Is it Freddie Mercury? Yeah. Okay, then
it is Queen. Yep, it is absolutely Queen. I have
a problem with Queen where... Queen where...
Yeah. No, it's not. This is the original four
members. Also, John Deacon's not there either,
so half the band has been gone. Yeah. So in what
is being hailed as the ultimate holiday gift
for the rock community, Planet Rock has announced
an exclusive broadcast that will feature a piece
of music history previously locked away in the
Queen Archives. On Monday, December 22nd at 6
p .m., which was about a week ago, legendary
guitarist and songwriter Sir Brian May will host
a festive special on the station. The centerpiece
of the program is a world premiere of Not For
Sale, and in parentheses, Polar Bear, a Queen
track that has remained unreleased for over five
decades. So this was recorded over 50 years ago.
Does it say what album it was supposed to be
on? Queen 2. Wow. Yeah. So this basically is
a glimpse into the recording sessions for Queen
2. Wow. Now, the track is a Brian May composition
originally recorded during the 1974 sessions
for the band's seminal sophomore album, Queen
II. While a version by May's pre -Queen band,
Smile, has circulated on bootlegs... I haven't
seen that one, but I will. This specific Queen
recording has never been heard by the public.
The song has been meticulously remastered for
a massive 2026 rebuild of the Queen II album.
So the whole album is being re -released. Wow.
However, May decided to give fans a special early
listen. I'm sneaking this into my Planet Rock
special because I'm fascinated to know what people
think about it and may comment it. To my knowledge,
no one has ever heard this version. I want to
hear it. I do too. Very much so. A new Queen
album, a new Queen song, and then the whole Queen
2 album is being redone, remastered, brought
up to... Current specs. Yeah, I can't wait. Good
times. Good times, man. Especially when you have
a lack of music, you know, new music. So, wow.
Let's see here. I've got a bunch of stuff. I
could go back to music, but actually I think
I'm going to go with some... Hello, this is Phineas
J. Altaris III. I'm here to deliver your music
news this evening. Toto Steve Lukather said that
Michael Jackson's Beat It was almost ruined by
Eddie Van Halen. Steve Lukather has explained
that the issue wasn't Eddie Van Halen's solo
itself, but that Eddie and his engineer, Don
Landy, edited the master tape and messed up the
time code, which was crucial for syncing other
tracks. This forced Lukather and drummer Jeff
Porcano to meticulously recreate the song's backing
tracks from scratch, using the faint bleed of
the drums in Michael Jackson's vocal track and
re -establishing the rhythm. This is Phineas
J. Baltar S. III. That has been your music news
for this evening. I have one burning question
for you all. Do people really skip around the
Maypole? Recent reports describe a family fight
involving Bill Belichick's daughter -in -law,
Jen Belichick, and his girlfriend, Jordan Hudson.
Oh, yeah, I think I saw a little bit about that.
It's not much of an article. These are just short
takes because I know at the end we're just throwing
stuff in. The confrontation reportedly occurred
after a North Carolina football game was a heated
exchange where Jen allegedly criticized Jordan's
appearance in relationship with Bill. Oh, boy.
Other reports mentioned earlier family tensions
over their relationship in a separate alleged
fight between Jordan Hudson and Lyndon Holiday,
Bill's ex -girlfriend. Ooh. So he has a history
of getting fighters. Yeah. Yeah. That's all I
got on that one. Funny. But I got other ones,
too. You got something you want to go to? I got
some Motley Crue news. Okay. Nikki Sixx has teased
a warts -at -all documentary series about Motley
Crue's hell -raising days. This is also going
to be based on their 2001 memoir, The Dirt, which
is already turned into, as they put it, a musical
comedy in 2019. I mean, the band considers that
2019 movie to be, you know, just like a funny
comedy version of the truth. Well, I've got a,
okay, I've got a problem with that. Because they
were like going, oh, this is it, no words. Yeah,
yeah, warts and all, yeah, and this is it. About
the Dirt, the original one. Now they're saying
it again about the next one. No, man, it's just
like re -releasing an album and saying, oh, you're
going to love this better. Yeah. I'm sorry, I'm
not interested, but go ahead. Well, some of the
things they say they're going to get into, this
new adaption will feature candid contributions
from the Girls, Girls, Girls band's bassist,
Nikki. drummer Tommy Lee, and frontman Vince
Neil. Once again, McMars is nowhere to be seen.
That's typical Motley Crue. While attending the
Jackson Hole International Film Festival to lead
a panel about the flick If These Walls Could
Rock, Nicky said, The documentary is about Motley
Crue. It's an interesting look at our career,
and people are going to discover a lot about
us and the music and the lyrics. Storytelling
is really important to me. You're going to hear
from the band individually and collectively as
we had quite the life. It's warts and all. So
it sounds like the original, the one we saw in
2019, The Dirt, was a dramatization using actors.
This is going to be a full -on documentary with
interviews from the band members. Okay, I will
watch that. Okay, saying like that, I like the
idea. Yeah, it makes a little more sense phrased
that way. It said the biography introduced a
new generation to tales of debauchery involving
Tommy, who infamously featured in a sex tape
with Baywatch actress Pamela Anderson, and Nikki,
who once bet with Tommy on who could go the longest
time without showering and still sleep with groupies.
Doesn't that sound like something they'd do?
Oh my God. Let's see how stinky we have to get
before they won't sleep with us anymore. Well,
I gotta admit, that's funny. Nikki reflected
in an interview with the Daily Express in 2023.
When the Dirt film came out, younger music fans
had only kind of heard who Motley Crue were.
When those kids saw the movie, they went, holy
shit, they don't make bands like that anymore.
No, I don't think they were saying that. Sorry.
No, I don't either. There are still plenty of
kids, don't call them kids, who love rock and
roll, who are discovering classic rock like Us,
Guns N' Roses, and Metallica. He wishes. He wishes,
yeah. Now this could be interesting as a documentary
if they're really going to tell the truth about
some things. That's what, okay, you're getting
into what I'm saying too. Yeah. Okay, number
one, the omission of Mick Morris is bullshit.
Yeah. Because there's a lot of tension there
that they need to get to. Yeah, and if they talk
about it at all, they're only going to talk about
their site. Yes, and Nicky and Mick have never
gotten along because they met before. Yeah. They
met before that and hated each other. I think
Mick worked at a music store. And Nicky came
in there and was talking to him. And Mick was
into like bebop and stuff like that. And Nicky
was like, you know, metal or whatever. Judas
Priest or whatever, you know, except. So they
automatically didn't like each other. And I think
Mick told them to fuck off or something, okay?
And then they were looking for a guitarist later
for this new band they were forming. And the
catch was loud, rude, aggressive guitarist, okay?
So like that's what we need. he came down and
had that sound and like okay they love him and
they figured out later that they met oh my god
each other yeah oh so there's always been tension
there and they never really um cared for each
other so i think it just kept going and going
and going and it kept eating nikki because he
is the self -professed leader of the band yeah
i think he owns the name and all that so you
know um but That would be the one thing that
would prevent me from fucking watching it is
that right there. Yeah. It's like, no, I want
to hear the fights. Yeah. If this is truly a
documentary, I want to hear if, like, I don't
know, someone got pissed and, I don't know, beat
the shit out of someone's equipment or fist fights
and all that stuff. Definitely want to hear Mick
Martyr's side of it. Yeah. Well, how about all
the alleged fist fights between Vince Neal and
Tommy Lee? Yeah. They supposedly hate each other
too. Yeah. Vince Neil dated Pamela Anderson way
before Tommy Lee, and there's some hard feelings.
And supposedly Vince said something about her,
like he didn't like her very well. And Tommy
took offense to that. And there's a fistfight
at an airport, allegedly. Wow. And there's also
a couple in the studio, allegedly. Yeah. So if
stuff like that isn't covered, I have no use
for it. Yeah. And especially the Mick Mars stuff.
I want to hear it. You can understand that the
original version of The Dirt was designed to
be a promotional piece and make the band look
good and get everyone excited. Yeah. This kind
of needs to be more about taking your chances
on people not liking you anymore when they learn
the truth. Because if it's not that, then it's
just another promotional piece, and who has time
for that? I agree. I don't have time for it.
As far as I can tell right now, because of the
omission of Mick Mars... Because I've heard nothing
about stuff like the fist fights and all that
stuff, I'm going to pass. Yeah, I think it's
going to be a very sanitized version, pretending
to be a tell -all. It's just grabbing more money.
I mean, just like grabbing Mick Mars' part, allegedly.
Just grabbing more money. Well, there you go.
There you go, Nicky. You're getting all the money
you want. Be happy. Take that money and go fucking
put it in your coffin when you're dead. Now,
Charlie Sheen has a documentary out on Netflix
called A .K .A. Charlie Sheen. And I've looked
at the previews for that, and it looks like he's
not holding much at all back. He has nothing
to lose. Yeah, except for things that the statute
of limitations hasn't run out on yet. I don't
think he's going to tell those. Allegedly, there's
some really dark stuff that the limitations probably
never run out on. He'll probably never say anything.
allegedly and all that good shit, whatever it
was. As much money he was making on Two and a
Half Men, he was spending all of it and more
paying off all the people that he needed to keep
silent about him having AIDS and spreading it
around. Oh, I know. And that's why he came out
and vaguely painted a line with the tiger's blood
and all that stuff to get people's attention.
Like, hey, the people that knew it started talking,
going, you know, the tiger's blood, you know,
it's a... It's a slang term for age, you know.
Tiger blood and Adonis DNA, I remember was the
expression. That was it, yeah. And then he would
say, winning. No, you weren't. No, I don't think
so. Don't think so. He's already said in press
interviews that, oh, there's a little dog. Yeah,
yeah. In press interviews, he said most of the
time he was into women, but when he was on crack,
he was into men. He would only have sex with
other men. Yeah, that floored me. It's like,
you could change that much on crack? And the
way he was talking about it, he was just kind
of laughing about how silly and funny it was.
He didn't bother him at all. He was like, eh,
who cares? Whatever. I imagine he's done worse
things. Yeah. I remember a quote from the legendary
actor James Dean. When asked about his sexuality,
he said, well... I'm not saying I'm gay, but
I'm also not going through life with one hand
tied behind my back. Which kind of told me that
James Dean was willing to use his sexuality with
other men to get what he wanted. Not that he
was necessarily getting anything enjoyable out
of it, but he's like, hey, if I need to do it
to get what I want, I don't care. It'd be like
all the guys who do gay porn who aren't gay,
but they're gay for pay. Yes. Which is, you know...
I remember one of my gay friends being very depressed
when he learned that most of the men he was seeing
in gay porn really aren't gay at all. They're
acting. And he's like, that ain't fair, man.
I'm sorry. To me, if you do the act, whether
you get paid or not, you are. There's no other
way around it to me. Either geared like that
or not. That was the basic story in a Kurt Vonnegut
book called Mother Night. The basic story is...
If you pretend to be something for a long time
and do it really well, then what's the difference?
You are that thing. You're not pretending anymore.
I would agree. If the net effect is the same,
then you're not pretending. I agree. Yeah. I
agree. That was an interesting... Made an interesting
movie, too, with Nick Nolte. What one was...
Mother Night. Mother Night. Yeah, he was an American
who was living in Germany, married to a German
woman when... World War II broke out. That sounds
familiar. I thought I might have watched that.
John Goodman was in it too. Yeah, I think so.
And that was one of Goodman's roles where he's
not the funny fat guy. No, no. No, he's not.
And Nick Nolte's character stays in Germany and
becomes a spy for the U .S. government. But nobody
knows except for John Goodman and the president.
And then when the war is over, everyone thinks
he really is an ardent Nazi and American hater
and a traitor, and so he's being hunted. And
nobody's around to say, no, no, he was actually
just working for us because the president's dead.
And this guy that recruited him is like, I ain't
telling anybody. You're on your own, man. Thanks
for your service, but we're not admitting that
we had anything to do with you. Yep, yep. So
for the rest of the movie, he's being hunted
because everyone believes he really was what
he was pretending to be. And in the end, he realizes,
I guess I really was because he whipped up a
lot of Nazis to commit atrocities and their Jew
hate and everybody else hate. And he's like,
I did the same job as somebody who actually would
have really believed it, so what's the difference?
I would agree. Yeah, and that book really got
me thinking about what you pretend to be. you
become oh absolutely well and it's also you know
the the old saying you know you are who you hang
out with that's so true yeah that's so true and
that's that also helped me start looking at a
lot of people in my social media feed who are
just consumed with hate There's something going
on in the world that they hate. It could be this,
it could be that, but they really hate it, and
that's all their life is about, is hating that,
talking about it. The one -note people, and also
the ones that latch onto a cause that they don't
even believe in themselves. And they've got to
act like they're this social justice warrior
person, outraged, waving his fist in the air,
his tiny little fist at the establishment. tired
of it. Look at all these homeless out there.
Look at this and that and this and that. And
they're not doing anything to help the situation.
And maybe it is just a rant on social media to
get likes and attention and stuff, but basically
you are that person. You are someone consumed
with hate because that's how you look at everybody.
Awareness is code for bullshit. Yeah, raising
awareness means I don't want to do anything about
it. I just want credit for it. I want to look
cool. Yeah, yeah. Anyways. All right, I got a
story here. Tucker Kemp, 31, of St. Petersburg,
Florida, is rethinking his decisions after an
incident in a local Starbucks last month. Oh?
Yeah, yep, yep, good old Starbucks. According
to the Smoky Gun, Kemp had stopped for a tea.
Well, that's his number one problem. Well, yeah.
When you stop for a tea, so automatically, that
makes you a douche. Unless he's British, then
I'll let it pass. Yeah, but if he's British,
he's a douche, too. Well, that's true. Except
for salmon. Yeah. Okay. And a couple other beans.
You're in America. Drink American coffee. That's
right. Drink coffee or die. It's okay. Let me
go get my musk at you, bitch. All right. Okay,
so... He had stopped for tea when he noticed
a pride flag hanging on the wall inside the store.
And I thought that this sounded like typical
bullshit, but I looked it up. No, it's true.
They should put up an American flag. Then he
allegedly threw his tea at the flag and tore
it off the wall before stuffing it into a trash
can. Wow. Yeah. Kemp was arrested for criminal
mischief and spent a few hours in jail, but long
-term consequences may have been more influential.
Kemp lost his job at a nearby Dignity Memorial.
and is on the hunt for a new gig. He said his
brew decision has led to his rightful arrest
and termination from my career. Anyone looking
for an embalmer? We got your guy. I mean, at
the very least, that's somebody else's property
in somebody else's business. If you don't like
it, walk out the door and don't come back. You
can fill however you want. And I don't ever,
ever begrudge anyone for how they feel. Because
everyone grew up differently. Everyone sees things
differently. And I'm not the guy to tell you
you're wrong. Because most people I know who
are my age or a little bit younger or a little
bit older, they already know. There's no sense
in me going to them and going, hey, have you
ever thought? Yes, I have. So, you know. You
got something? Let's see. I remember I talked
last time about Jane's Addiction. Looks like
they're trying to patch things up. Oh yeah, you
know, I like this hybrid of music and everything.
This is really cool. I like it too. Well now,
we heard from the band, Jane's Addiction, previously.
Now it's time to hear from Perry Farrell himself.
Oh, okay. Yeah. Yeah, okay. Perry Farrell has
apologized for his onstage altercation with James
Addiction bandmate Dave Navarro. The 66 -year
-old musician and his fellow musicians, including
drummer Stephen Perkins, awesome drummer, and
bassist Eric Avery, have released statements
addressing a controversial night in Boston in
September of 2024 when Farrell started a fight
with Navarro in the middle of the gig. Now, that's
the first time I've ever heard when they say
Perry started the fight with Navarro. Up till
now, it's always been... They never used to say
that before you're right. Now they're specifically
saying Farrell started it. Their reunion tour
was brought to an end with the front man's bandmates
filing a $10 million lawsuit against him for
assault, battery, intentional inflection of emotional
distress, negligence, breach of fiduciary duty,
and breach of contract. Basically saying, we
all agreed to do this... tour and make a bunch
of money and you're screwing it up so now you
have to pay us. That is interesting that now
they're admitting to him starting the fight.
Now at the time, Perry Farrell denied each and
every allegation and both parties have now addressed
the situation publicly in fresh statements, which
I'm sure were written up by their lawyers. Of
course, because they need money. All of them.
Am I missing a page? That's what I ran into a
little bit ago. I'm like, shit. Okay, no, I'm
not missing a page. Okay, but basically, the
Jane's Addiction statement ended with them saying,
you know, we really want to do this for our fans
and going forward and, you know, so you can be,
you know. We're not going to put out new music.
We're not going to tour, blah, blah. But we still
want everyone to have a good feeling about Jane's
Addiction. So they're trying to rehabilitate
the brand and the legacy products. And I think
this version was Perry Farrell giving his statement
in order to fulfill a legal obligation to the
band that he tried to undo his fuckery. There
was a lot of fuckery there, too. And I think
without this, Harry Farrell probably would have
been cut out from any monetary gain. I agree.
From future sales, etc., etc. So he had to come
to the table. Yeah, if he wanted the money, he
had to come out and say this, take responsibility,
admit that it was him starting the fight, blah,
blah, blah. You know, his lawyer did that. His
lawyer was like, hey, dude, you've got to kind
of do this. It's going to end up in a fight again,
I guarantee it. I remember back when Michael
Vick... He was in all sorts of legal trouble
over the dog fighting. Yeah, yeah. And he was
at a press conference talking about, he was reading
the statement saying, you know, I'm going to
deal with these issues and I'm going to do what's
right. And I'm really looking forward to getting
back with my teammates in spring training. Now,
that's baseball. Baseball has spring training.
Football has training camp. No, I caught it.
I'm just sitting there thinking, why would he?
Yeah. Because he didn't write it himself. The
lawyer wrote it for him. But immediately after,
everyone said, yeah, that was his words. He wrote
that. Yeah, it was all him. He wrote that himself.
No, he didn't. Because Michael Vick knows that
it's not spring training in football. It's training
him. Exactly. His lawyer knew law, did not know
sports. That makes sense. So it was obvious to
everybody, although very few called him on it.
It's like, that's bullshit. You didn't write
it. Someone else did. Now you're lying to us
about writing it yourself. But almost nobody
called him out. Nobody felt his apologies were
apologies anyhow. No, no. They really weren't.
I remember over and over Michael Dick saying,
what the fuck is a big deal? It's just a dog.
Really? I would have loved to have done that
to him. What the fuck's a big deal? It's just
a person. Yeah. Yeah, fuck him. I'll never like
him because of that. Think of all the white slave
owners who said, who cares, it's just a black
dog. Exactly. It's a living... creature with
a mind and a soul and a heart and a spirit. And
to just dismiss it as, well, I get to kill it
if I want because it's not good enough. The only
things I have reservations about killing, or
I don't have reservations about killing, is like
a fly. or a bug of some sort, or a really nasty
-looking spider. Or a wasp. Wasps are all assholes.
Yeah, wasps, they don't have to do anything.
They'll go out of their way to hunt you down
and sting you just because they're assholes.
Oh, yeah, and they also set up like guardsmen.
Yes. And you don't even have to be near their
nest. And they're like, hey, hey, look, hey,
come here, look at there. There's a person. Let's
go get him. Let's go mess him up, man. They are
little bastards. No, I was power washing the
deck to spray it, right? Yeah. And accidentally
power washed a nest. Two of them got me, but
man, it's funny spraying them with a power washer.
Yeah. Because it actually kills them in midair.
It takes their wings and their head off. I imagine
so, because they're not really assembled all
that strongly. No. I just started, they're coming
at me. A couple of them got me. I'm like, ah,
fuck, fuck, you know. And then I see them. I
just started blasting them. They just started
tearing apart. I'm like, this is kind of fun.
Even though I have two huge welts on me, they're
going to hurt for a while. All right, is that
it on that one? Yep. Okay. All I got left is
the Nicki Minaj story, if you want to do that.
Do you want to do that, and then we'll go into
things, people stick up their reckons that the
government keeps up? Yeah, that sounds good.
Okay, the Nicki Minaj story is interesting because...
There's a subset of people that this is going
to drive crazy. Now, Nicki Minaj is a young woman
of color and very successful at business. So
this is somebody that a certain group of Americans
would really like to hold up as an example and
say, this is wonderful and everyone should be
like her. That's a good way of putting it, a
certain group of people. Yeah. You know, they'd
say, what a strong, independent woman, and blah,
blah, blah. Except that same group of people
are really, really pissed off by what she's saying.
Which is, she thinks Donald Trump and Vice President
J .D. Benz are amazing role models for young
men. And she thinks all young men should be studying
the President and the Vice President and being
more like them. And she says she loves and trusts
and respects the President. And she's so grateful
that the country is under his leadership. I know.
Now, the group of people who would normally be
celebrating a young black woman who's really
successful are suddenly stymied because, like,
how can we accept her when she likes who we hate?
I know. It's like this group of people are tying
themselves in knots trying to figure out what
to do, if anything. Yeah, they... There's nothing
they can do because they're in a corner on this.
Yeah. They're in a corner on this. Now, the only
thing I've heard from somebody was they dismissed
it as she doesn't know what she's talking about.
But then that was quickly squelched because that's
disrespectful. Exactly. Very disrespectful to
imply that her brain isn't working correctly
or that she's being controlled by somebody else.
It's like, uh -uh, you don't get to do that.
So pretty much the ones who would be screaming
and yelling at anybody else for believing and
saying that. They look at her and go, uh -oh,
we better shut up. There's no winning here. It
reminds me of this right here. One of my very
first bits that I did when I started producing
the show was Deep Thoughts with Mark. Yeah. And
my original one was this. What if I'm offended
by people getting offended over everything? Yeah.
Does that mean... Whenever they're offended,
they have to stop being offended because I'm
offended. Yeah, being offended is very offensive
to me, so quit being offended. Yes. So how does
that work? And then the other one that I got
is, if I identify as a dog, and I'm walking down
the road without a collar, can they come pick
me up and put me in the pound? I identify as
a dog. It's interesting you say that because
there was a group a few years back of people,
at least in New York, of people who identified
as dogs. And they all showed up in a big area,
you know, acting like dogs, dressed as dogs.
And somebody commented, shouldn't we, you know,
if they want us to actually treat them as dogs
and honor their choice to live as dogs and actually
treat them like dogs, then we should call animal
control because none of these out here have the
rabies vaccination tags. None of them have city
licenses. None of them are on a leash. And we
have a leash law. We should be taking all of
these people to the... Treat them like the dogs
they want to be and take their asses to the pound.
Also trap them. Put them in cages with food in
them. Yep. When they go in there to get them,
slam it down. But you see the ultimate hypocrisy.
Oh, you have to believe. You have to let them...
That's exactly what I'm getting at. But then
they don't want you to take it to its logical
conclusion, which is, all right, I'm going to
treat you like a dog, which means you have no
human civil rights. Yes. Because you're a dog.
No, that's true. That's true. You don't get to
drive a car. You don't get to vote. Nope. You
don't get to hold a job. No, because you're an
animal. Because you're a dog. You told me you're
a dog, and I'm going to believe you're a dog,
so you don't get to do human things ever again.
Someone can come up and own you, too, because
you're a dog. Yes, you can own a dog. So you're
in the pound, and you're sitting there looking
at something with soft eyes because they're walking
by looking for a dog. Yep. I'm sorry. I'm going
to go with the German Shepherd every time. All
right. Do you want to go into the government's
keeping track of what people get stuck up their
records? Yes. All right. These were the worst
items last year. This is a trend we can get behind.
Yeah, yeah, they wrote it, not me. Oh, get behind.
Got it. Okay. I'm a little slow. Yeah, that's
all right. All right. Well, there's two to pure
curiosity. Hey, my fellow heavy breathers. This
is Dash Riptide. Your music news. Megadeth has
announced a final album and a 2026 global farewell
tour. To conclude their career after 40 years,
the first wave of tour dates for a Latin American
leg in April and May 2026, with more dates to
be announced for the worldwide tour. While the
full tour schedule has been released, tickets
for the initial dates are available. And there
is also an announced performance with Iron Maiden
concert in Harrison, New Jersey in September
2026. This is Gash Rooktine, and that was your
music news. If it's too loud, you probably have
ear damage, just like me. This guy did chat GPT
advice. I bet they wrote that too, but it's kind
of good. Okay. You know, sex stuff. A shocking
number of people ended up in the ER every year
after putting something up their rectum that
probably should not be there ever. Yeah. Okay.
But their secret actually isn't so secret like
they think. After all, the U .S. Consumer Product
Safety Commission actually keeps a database of
ER visits of what's bringing people in, meaning
the government has an extensive list. Every time
a patient is sick, really, Doc, I just fell on
it. Here is a list of the most common items found
in a person's record that they, air quotations,
just fell on. With their pants down. Yeah, with
their pants down and lubrication. Yes. It's weird
how that all comes together. It's amazing, isn't
it? I know. I would just be like, what the hell?
What can I do? Look at that. I just fell on a
mayonnaise jar and it went up my rectum. This
is so... How come that doesn't happen like every
day on a public street then? Exactly. In evening
news, 17 people fell on objects and went up their
rectums. Yes. But I suppose if you're in that
situation, what else can you say? Actually, I'm
a weird pervert, and I like things like this
up my rectum. At least you'd be telling the truth.
If you say you fell on it, now you're a pervert
and a liar. I would expect it because of this.
They're not out on Epstein Island. No, no, no.
It's their own butthole. They can shove whatever
they want up there. The only thing is, don't
use our tax money to take that out of their ass.
Well, that's true. Yeah. It's on your dime. If
you want to nail your ass, you pay for it, not
us. I want nothing to do with anything about
your ass and anything being put in it. I can
see over your shoulder that the Cleveland Browns
are leading the Steelers 10 -3, but I don't know
how far into the game we are. Oh, they got the
game on up there. Okay. I think it's about halfway
through. Cleveland's leading 10 -3. The Patriots
were just beating the shit out of the Jets. And
then the Colts were beating, who was it? There's
a few scores today. Yeah, Browns are beating
the Steelers 10 -3. Where are the other ones?
Hang on, I'll have to go to NFL scores. But here,
after I look at this and give you the scores,
I'm going to go into the things up people's rectums.
Yeah, I don't want to miss that. Okay. Dolphins
are beating the Buccaneers 17 -7. Wow. Yeah.
The Patriots 28 -3 over the Jets. That's bigger.
The Browns, or Clowns, 10 -3 over the Steelers,
which is odd because the Steelers are battling
to win that division. Yeah. If the Browns beat
them, they have no business being there. The
Colts are still leading the Jags 10 -7, which
is another odd one because... Jags can move up
a bit. And the Titans are leading the Saints
13 -10. And the Seahawks and the Panthers are
a 3 -3 tie. And the Cardinals and Bengals, the
Bengals are leading 23 -7. Tonight is the Giants
and Raiders. Who cares? Tomorrow is the creme
de la creme, Eagles -Bills. Yeah. Monday night
football. I think I'm going to watch every bit
of that. Yeah, me too. Tonight. Oh, no, no, that's
325 today. I'm sorry. Oh, cool. I thought they
flexed it. I guess not. Unless this is wrong,
I thought they flexed it, but I guess not. Okay.
Bears versus 49ers is the Sunday night game,
and Rams -Falcons is the Monday night game, according
to this. Yeah, Rams -Falcons is no big deal.
I could have sworn they said they were going
to flex it. Yeah. Oh, well, if they do or not,
whatever. Okay. Here's a list of the most common
items found in people's records that they accidentally
fell on or whatever. All right. Screws and nails.
That sounds painful. Yes, it does. Baseball.
The reason given was honest, to see what it felt
like. Okay. This next one's bathroom. Uncooked
pasta. Uncooked. I mean, don't you think the
rectum would cook it? It'd be nice and warm in
there and moist. Yeah, I guess like the long
spaghetti or angel hair or was it like elbow
mac? I don't know. It doesn't say. Well, I would
think it'd be cooked after a while, wouldn't
it? Yeah, at least rehydrate, you know, and you'd
have like, you know, carbo ass. Yeah. Yes. An
egg. My butt's full of carbohydrates. Whoever
did the egg is... talented it didn't bust wow
that is pretty good and whoever that doctor is
is talented too it didn't bust wow according
to this a dog chew toy a rover dog's not gonna
want to play you know he's like sitting there
chewing on his toy and he looks hey wait a minute
wait a minute what hey hey your dog slobber on
this little extra i'm gonna put it somewhere
then he throws it back on the ground the dog's
like you no I know where you sleep, man. Dog
outrage. Hey, that's my toy. A dryer sheet. Oh,
that would kind of burn, I would think. I would
think so, too. And then when you shit. Well,
they had to have it taken out, so I guess not.
You see it getting caught in your turds, like
wrapping them up. Well, a dryer sheet is basically
wax. I mean, that's how fabric softeners work.
They're wax, and it waxes down all the little
hairs sticking up your clothes so they feel softer.
And since they're all slicked down, it doesn't
get static so much. But it's basically a coating
of wax on your clothing. But people love them.
Yeah. Just like those Unstoppables, too. Yes.
Yeah. I know that that's fucking up your washing
machine. It is. I know it is. It is. Okay, doorknob,
allegedly. Ooh. Ow. Was it locked or unlocked?
That's all I need to know. Yeah? Was it push
-button ones? Yeah, yeah, I want to know. Was
it the long handle ones? Or the big crossbar
ones like in businesses? It could be a crossbar.
Yeah. I'm going to say it's a crossbar one. Alarm
will sound if you open this door. Yeah. Alarm
will sound if you shove this up your butt. The
next one would be marbles. Well, that wouldn't
be so painful, I guess. I guess it depends on
how many of you stuff up there. I want to see
Jack's, too. Marbles and Jack's. Might as well
make it a game. All right. Eyeglasses. Well,
I guess that's one place to keep them, but I
don't think I'd want to put them back on my face
after that. That would be my excuse. I always
lose them. If I have them up my rectum, I know
where they're at. I can't get them out, but at
least I know where they are. I know where they
are. I won't lose them. They're not going anywhere.
All right, the next one would be a rock, just
a plain old rock. Hey, you guys want to say something
or anything? Happy New Year. All right, Happy
New Year. That's good enough. Thank you. We have
a great 2026. Thank you, you too. Appreciate
it very much. That was cool. Yeah. All right.
I wonder if that was somebody's pet rock. Come
back. You killed my pet rock, man. Who's got
my rock in the guys over there? Can we talk in
the other room real quick? It's funny. I remember
when the pet rock phase was dying off. Somebody
came up with little pet rock funeral kits. Yes.
So you could bury your pet rock and have a nice
clean. Because people didn't want to just throw
it out in their yard. So they sold them a kit
to bury their. Put a little cross on it. Rock.
Little rocky. Little granite. No one ever lost
money. underestimating the intelligence of your
fellow human. No, no. However dumb you think
they are, they're dumber. They're dumber, yep.
Beard clippers wrapped in plastic. Reason given,
he was constipated for two days, so beard trimmer
will fix it. If you want your bowel disimpacted,
go in there with a finger, you know? It's a sharp
metal object. Oh, God. He's lucky he didn't have
his intestines... Yeah. Yikes. This next one
I love. A turkey baster. I wonder what was in
it when he put it in there. Oh, I know. Cocaine.
Yeah. Cocaine and Kool -Aid. Yes. Flavor -Aid.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just like Jim Jones.
Kool -Aid snuck in there, but it was all Flavor
-Aid. Jim Jones was cheap. Yeah. It was cheap.
You didn't want to buy the Kool -Aid, you'll
buy the Flavor -Aid. Google it. There was a TV
show where a group of people were sitting around
having mimosas in the morning, which is orange
juice and champagne. But they ran out, so they
started using tequila and tang instead of calling
it a mimosa. Oh, I love it. They called it a
Mexican on the moon. A Mexican on the moon. You're
wrong, but it was funny as hell. I would try
one of those. Tequila and tang. Tequila and tang.
I would rather just call it that, tequila and
tang. Hey, wouldn't you like a tequila and tang?
That would be heartburn from hell, you know,
wouldn't it? Oh, God, yeah. Tang always gave
me heartburn like crazy. It was rough. All that
acid it is, so acidity. I didn't like the taste
that well anyhow. I feel bad for the astronauts.
Oh, hey, too. Plastic cleanser, bottle full of
liquid. Yeah, okay. Shampoo bottle. Oh. Reason
given, slipped in the shower. Oh, of course he
did. A guy a couple of days later, shampoo bottle
again, but it wasn't the same guy. Reason given,
he was bored. I can respect that more than slipped
in the shower. Maybe the conditioner, shampoo
is more fun than the conditioner bottle. Now
this next one I can say maybe so. A lubricant
bottle. You see, you know, he might have been
lubing up, and those things get slick and pop
out of your hands. He was having some people
over to insert large objects into him, so he
wanted to get the whole trackway lubricated.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, and that accidentally slipped
in there, so, you know, he's like, it's not quite
what I wanted, but, you know, well. And he might
have had one of those openings that was like
six, eight inches across. That's what I'm saying.
It kind of fell in. It was probably already gaping.
Yeah. And then when it slipped out of his hands,
it naturally went into the hole. Yeah. It's like,
bang. The doctor's in there looking around and
says, hey, man, I can park my car in here. Oh,
yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like that old, gosh, I
don't know if I can remember the joke, but, like,
they're talking about a woman with a really large
vagina, you know, and said, you know, you're
there. And the next thing you know, it's like,
hey, I can put my foot in, I can put two feet
in. Oh, wait a minute, my other hand, my other
hand. Pretty soon he's in there. And he's like,
hey, you see somebody in there? Hey, you got
a flashlight? He goes, fuck, you find my car
keys, we can drive out of here. Wow. It was a
little bit better and spicier. All right. Oh,
my gosh. I can see this next one, too. An enema
bottle. Yeah? Yeah. Oops. Oh, no. Slipped. It
was slick. I had shampoo on my hands. Oop, gone.
It's good to remember that not all of these are
dudes. Yes. Not all of these. Not all of them
are. It doesn't specify on here, but I mean,
yeah. An aerosol can. That could be dangerous.
Yes, very much so. Dental pick. Oh, wow. This
next one, a wine stopper. Okay. Were you trying
to learn how to shoot it out as a party trick
or something? Oh, no. You know, they call a modium
AD liquid cork. Maybe he got something from that.
Like, hey, you alone? I just get a cork then.
I remember lead singer Wendy O. Williams was
initially discovered in a Saigon whorehouse and
she was shooting ping pong balls out of her cooch.
For real? For real. She was also blowing out
candles with it. Wow. And her promoter said she'd
make a great rock star. She had a brief career
making noise music. Yes. Allegedly. Wow. I never
knew that, but I can believe it. Shooting ping
pong balls out. Hey, making a living. Gotta eat.
Yep. A corn cob holder. Oh, ow. I just want to
know why. Yeah. Why did they choose that? Maybe
it was one of those ones shaped like a little
ear of corn. Oh, that would be good. Yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah. But then he goes through far and
it's got those spiky prong ends, and you're like,
oh, I need help getting this out. Oh, yeah, I
can't get this out normally. Better go with a
highlighter. Well, I guess they don't make brown
highlighters, so maybe it was pink or yellow.
Yes. A brown would have, yeah. You just don't
make a brown highlighter. You can't highlight
anything in brown. It's like a low light. Yeah,
so they're able to find it much easier. Yeah.
Not one, but two pencils. Oh. Yeah. Sharp and
I'll bet. I wonder if they put an eraser end
in first. You would think logically, yes. Yeah.
But you don't know. You know, some people might
want to get the point. Oh, our caterer called
and asked if we're going to want to eat when
we get home. Oh, I don't know. You? I'm not feeling
all that hungry. Yeah, me neither. Okay. I told
her we're good. Okay, good. Thank you. All right.
magic wand toy i think that was fun gone far
yeah too far fun gone too far yeah yeah it's
kind of like oh i'm using this on you but hey
uh how about we reverse it we think they were
trying to act out a scene from harry potter yes
very much so this next one's funny real A 7 -inch
dildo and pliers that they used to try to remove
the dildo. That's embarrassing. That's extra
embarrassing. We not only got it up there, but
the thing we decided to use to get it out, we
also left up there. Oops! Oh my gosh, you know
you're stuck then. What happened to the pliers?
Well, I got some bad news. Man, those were my
good players, too. Shit, they're going to be
all rusty now. I'm going to have to WD -40 them.
He should have done that before he tried to get
them out. Yeah, that's true. All right. This
next one's good, too. Broken piece of butt plug
and tweezers used to try to remove the butt plug
piece. I've got everybody's answer. Don't use
stainless steel. Use steel. That way you can
magnet it out. Oh, that's true. Yeah. Hopefully
it doesn't take your colon with it, but we'll
see. The next one, a film canister. Like for
the old 35mm film? I think so. I think. It doesn't
specify, but that would be the only logical.
Yeah, I would think that'd be. Yep. A battery
-powered light. Ooh. I wonder if his rectum was
glowing. Probably so. Is he trying to see something
there? this next one i'm sure a flashlight yeah
yeah a plastic coat hanger with outside of a
hanger cut off so he could drive to the er he
tried to sit in the car it's like oh oh oh man
good thing he didn't have a motorcycle You've
got to be really bored and really wanting to
experiment to stuff some of these things up there.
What would you have had to have done sexually
before to lead to this? Yeah, I guess you have
to try almost everything else to get to that
point. I would think so. It's like, yeah, none
of that does it for me anymore. Yikes. I think
I'm going to need that closing. I hope I never
get that jaded. Oh, God. I don't think we're
geared like that, but, you know, all right. But,
you know, if regular old sex ain't doing it for
you, how about you just give up instead of stuffing
these weird things up your body? Oh, that's what
I'm saying, too. Just, I don't know, man. Yeah,
maybe retire from sex. Yeah, yeah. If that's
what it's leading to, then just quit. Yeah. Stop
it altogether. Oh, all right. A penny. That's
what happened to them all in circulation. Yeah,
really. You can get copper poisoning from that.
Oh, yeah, that'd be funny. It has lead in it,
right? Let's see. The current one is copper over
aluminum. Yeah, yeah. I think it used to. Yeah.
And I think it's more they need it to be heavier.
Yeah. All right. Trigger the vending machines.
Yeah. That's it right there, I'm pretty sure.
Light bulb. Last sight first. Ah. The bulb got
sucked up due to the suction effect. It happens.
So he had an ass vacuum that took that light
bulb up there. I wonder what sound it made. And
then I wonder if his asshole closed. No, it didn't.
It probably snapped shut behind it. I don't know
if you're capable of snapping shut if that's
what you're shot at. I know, that's true. But
yeah, you know, if it did, it went... A little
meaty smack. Sounded like a couple of sirloins
smacking together. All right. A vape pen. Let's
hope he was just hiding it. Yeah, let's hope
so. But probably not. This next one. A corn cob
style pipe. If it was just a corn cob, you could
say, hey, I was wiping my ass and I found it.
I don't believe in modern day toilet paper. Oh
my gosh. Oh, the next guy that we support on
Joshua Feldman, the man on the hustle, is the
inventor of two -ply toilet paper. Joseph Hamilton.
Yeah. Back in 1896, he discovered two fly toilet
paper. Great idea. Yeah, he is. I'm just thinking
about all these people, and all of a sudden,
your butthole isn't supposed to have mud flaps.
It's not supposed to have meat curtains. No.
I mean, if anything, could they, like, sew a
button on there and just, you know, button it
up? Yeah, like a little snap. Yeah, you figure
one little slip in a mayonnaise jar, and you're
like, I'm going to get a button sewn on it. Yeah.
Velcro. Velcro, that's it. I mean, that'd be
so easy. You just, time to take a dump. Yeah,
there you go, nothing going in there now. All
right, a rubber gasket. Well, I guess a gasket
in that situation, probably a place you'd want
to have a gasket. Yeah, yeah, you have a blowout,
you want some protection there, yes. A piece
of a nose hair trimmer. Ooh, just a piece of
one. Yeah. I guess he was somewhat a virgin.
Was it maybe a bud hair trimmer? It could be.
I think he was just starting out. He wasn't quite
all the way there yet. He was just starting out.
He might have been a one -finger and pinky. Yeah.
Yeah, you know, and he was, like, trying to progress.
So that's all he could do. A rectangle, a rectangular
travel toothbrush. Oh, a man on the go. Yeah,
probably done in a hotel room. Toby didn't brush
his teeth with it afterwards. Or her. Or they,
them. Yeah, whatever. The next one. A baton.
Like a conductor's baton? Or like a police baton?
Oh, shit. I never even thought about that. A
conductor's baton would be a little thinner,
a little longer. It doesn't say. It just says,
I'm going to think if it was a police baton,
it would say that. Yeah, it'd probably say it,
yeah. So I'm going to think it's conductor. Yeah,
a regular one. And then, last but not least,
a hair tie. And that was for a beginner, too.
That was a pinky guy, or a girl, or whatever.
Oh, my gosh. Yeah, isn't that something? Wow.
All right. I don't believe I will ever be quite
that bored that I would do any of that. No, I
don't either. No. I don't either. I have to believe
I will always come up with other things to do
rather than do any of those. I am certain I can
find something to do besides shoving things up
my rectum that shouldn't be there. Yeah, yeah.
That's just me. Yeah, yeah. All right. Yep. We're
coming up on about two hours here. Just go ahead
and shut it. I think we're good. All right, let's
do it. All right. Everybody, thank you so much
for listening. I mean, it's really reflecting
in our listenership and our listeners. You guys
are really bringing it. We just want to say thank
you so much and don't fuck yourself.