WEBVTT

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Welcome again. We're happy you chose us. Come

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on in. Wash yourself off. Would you enjoy a bourbon

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and coke? There's a liquor store down the road.

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If you go, I need rolling papers. Well, since

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you're here, let's get this daily douchebag pledge

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out of the way. All right, bitches, swing your

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hips and pelvic thrust. Shout it out with me.

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I, Joe or Jane Listener, promise to download

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every podcast. I, Joe or Jane Listener, promise

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to make... All friends, family members, and workmates

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download the show. I, Joe or Jane Listener, promise

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to grab idle computers, work computers, friends

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computers, community computers, and other assorted

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phones and listening devices and download the

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show from there. I, Joe or Jane Listener, will

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download the show and constantly barrage everyone

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with show name and platforms. I, Joe or Jane

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Listener, promise to wear a chicken costume and

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screen the show's name from my front yard. And

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finally, because of our 13 -year -old boy humor,

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you must go to Knobloch Cooter Licking in Uranus,

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Missouri to take selfies with the signs. If you

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go to Uranus, go to the fudge factory. Yes, there's

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a fudge factory in Uranus. No joke. Here at Two

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Douchebags and a Microphone, we don't stand behind

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our journalistic integrity. Go ahead and assume

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we got the story wrong. At least we admit it.

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Not like all those other guys. We can and will

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lie if it makes the story better. Two douchebags

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and a microphone. Great news, assholes. You can

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now email the douches anytime, anywhere. In the

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middle of a job interview. No big deal. Take

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it a bath. No problems there. Tap dancing. Easy

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as pie. Just send it to 2douches at mail .com.

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Do it now, pussies, or I'll smash you in the

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junk. Here we go. Signs that you might be a pussy.

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Signs that you might be a pussy. If you've ever

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had Phil Collins or Oingo Boingo posters on your

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wall. If you've ever raised your coffee mug or

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tea glass with your pinky extended. If you often

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lotion up your hands with no apparent reason.

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If you like poached eggs. If you sing along to

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Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. Or if you have ever

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wore a pair of Crocs, even just trying them out.

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You are a pussy. Hey peeps, it's time for the

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police blotter. That's right stories about stupid

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criminals and the dumbassness that ensued. Let

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us begin now. During a routine traffic stop,

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Ohio officer Sergeant John Allen found a bag

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of illegal narcotics. He was about to let 29

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-year -old Sean Total of Columbus go when he

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spotted laying in the passenger seat a clear

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baggy labeled bag of drugs. This is Joshua Belmont,

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your food for thought man on The Hustle. Today,

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we need to focus on the genius Franklin Harris

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for inventing the jukebox override. Some dumbass

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puts down a hundred on the Melvins to last all

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night. No worry, thanks to Mr. Harris. Just put

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in a buck a song to override shitty music and

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you can be the hero. Mr. Harris, not many stop

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to admire your fine work, but we do here at Two

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Douchebags and a Microphone. Thank you, Mr. Harris,

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for being a patriotic, great human being. Oh,

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man, what the fuck is this? Is this a new feature?

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What's inside Mark's head? Sounds stupid to me.

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If you took my first name backwards, it would

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read as Cram. Hey there, slapmets. It's time

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for the Creeps Music News. Hey, my little pumpkin

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seeds. This is Johnny Rohypnol with your music

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news. The latest news from the coroner and the

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death of Ace Brealey. His founding member, lead

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guitarist, and successful solo artist was. Ace

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had a stroke and led to his fall that resulted

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in a brain bleed and his unfortunate passing.

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We already miss you, Ace. Condolences to his

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family and friends. This is Johnny Rohypnol.

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That was your music news. And remember, bar chords

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are bullshit. Now it's time for Pick Up Lines

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from a Loser. Do you believe in love at first

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sight? Or should I walk by again? This is crotchety

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old Saint Prick. I'm the guy that comes in after

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Christmas and douses all your dreams and hopes.

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Ho, ho, ho. Ho, ho, ho. It's time to read another

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letter. Let's get into the bag and see what we

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have. Ah, here's a letter from little Lori. It

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reads, Dear Saint Prick, All I want for Christmas

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is my mom and dad to get back together. Nothing

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else. Well, little Lori, I don't have a lot of

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answers. But I do have a poem for you. Roses

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are red. Violets are blue. Your mom is a whore.

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Your dad hasn't a clue. He is addicted to coke.

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Your mom likes to toke. And they will both die

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broke. Now get out of here, you little shit.

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You get nothing. Ho, ho, ho, ho. Yes, it's true.

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Mark is an old bastard. It's also true that Mark

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uses a lot of ibuprofen. But Mark would like

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to tell you, if you see any pictures of him roofing

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ibuprofen, it's obviously fake, and you're to

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take the pictures and tear them up immediately.

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And now we look in on the adventures of the technical

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explanation guy. Oh my, would you look at the

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Riley scattering? It sure is brilliant tonight.

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First off, you're on private property. Second,

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you're in my flower garden. Third, if you're

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talking about the sunset, yes, it is stunning.

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And finally, would you get the hell off my property,

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you annoying fucking bastard. This is Two Douchebags

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and a Microphone. I am Mark. I am one of your

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hosts here. At this here podcast, do two douchebags

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a microphone. This portion of it operates from

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the Kansas City area at the Talk is Cheap studio.

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And I am Rob from Wheatland, Missouri, home of

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the magnificent Lucas Oil Studios. oh no highway

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54 beautiful highway 54 rv park it's highway

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54 i looked it up and it was oh you can also

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look it up highway 54 rv park okay all right

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okay You can also look it up by Wheatland, too,

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because I did, but I didn't see that name. But

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I believe, I mean, I know it's that name. It's

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weird. You can look them up either way. But anyhow,

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all right. Highway 54 RV Park. And it's beautiful.

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So, cool. All right. Oh, what studio are you

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at? All right. Talk is cheap here. Duck blind

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there. Wheatland, Missouri there. Kansas City,

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Missouri here. Mark here. And you are who? Rob.

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All right. Okay. So, Rob, I come to this conclusion

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the other day. If I was much younger, but who

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I am now, I would not have very many friends.

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The older I get, the more I don't subscribe to

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hurting someone's feelings. You know, I remember

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back in the day, you too, because you knew a

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lot of the same people I did. Back in the day,

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I remember having numerous friends that were

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in bands. Not all of them sucked, but most of

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them did, right? Most of them were horrible.

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Agreed? Yeah. Okay, yeah. You know, and I would

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be nice and act like I thought their music was

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good when constantly asked. And I would pimp

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them. Oh, yeah, they're the best ever. You know,

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they asked me, you know, hey, go around and tell

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people our name. And I was like doing that, even

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though I knew they sucked. Nowadays, I would

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just tell them, you better pick up a book in

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the real chance this band thing doesn't work

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out. And that would piss them off. But I would

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not play that game. Would you nowadays? Wouldn't

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you be direct and go, I think you need to pick

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up a book and take another route. Would you be

00:09:58.750 --> 00:10:02.049
like that too? Yeah, yeah. I'm just not into

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bullshit anymore. And I don't really necessarily

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care if it hurts their feelings or not. I noticed

00:10:06.929 --> 00:10:09.110
this the other day. I'm like, wow, I've completely

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changed like that. I am not an appeaser and I

00:10:11.830 --> 00:10:14.070
don't give a shit. I will tell people exactly

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what I think and I don't care. And I think everybody

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gets like that the older they get. They're just

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like, who cares? Just tell them what you think.

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Be real. And then by being real, sometimes that

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makes people mad at you. But I go back to the

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I don't care. Now I don't care. All right, I

00:10:33.149 --> 00:10:34.929
just thought I'd bring that out and see what

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you thought. It sounds like, and Topher feels

00:10:36.649 --> 00:10:38.549
the same way. I talk to a lot of people about

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it. I'm just like, yeah, you know what? We don't

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bullshit anymore. We just tell it like it is

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and whatever. All right, so we have some new

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features as well, Rob. We have a brand new police

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blotter section. This focuses in on stupid criminals

00:10:55.669 --> 00:10:57.570
and what they did to look even more brain dead.

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And this is a segment I really am impressed with

00:11:02.740 --> 00:11:06.580
this segment. And also a brand new segment, Signed

00:11:06.580 --> 00:11:10.419
You Might Be a Pussy. This will identify people

00:11:10.419 --> 00:11:12.980
that may not actually know they are a pussy.

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It's kind of a public service announcement, if

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you will. It's because we care, Rob, right? Yeah,

00:11:20.500 --> 00:11:23.340
definitely. Yeah, yeah. So if you ever have a

00:11:23.340 --> 00:11:25.519
doubt if you're a pussy or not, we're probably

00:11:25.519 --> 00:11:28.100
going to cover it in this segment. um the first

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one is done i have two i need to be completed

00:11:30.779 --> 00:11:33.120
i need to have some stuff done with rob which

00:11:33.120 --> 00:11:35.019
we're going to talk about after the program here

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and uh we need to get on some of that stuff that

00:11:38.440 --> 00:11:41.059
that we're going to do but we'll we'll figure

00:11:41.059 --> 00:11:43.440
that out a little bit later we have some more

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uncle rob's tips for life so everybody can calm

00:11:46.860 --> 00:11:51.409
the fuck down and so And along with a lot of

00:11:51.409 --> 00:11:53.350
other ones, we have some more ramblings of a

00:11:53.350 --> 00:11:56.070
madman. So everybody can calm the fuck down on

00:11:56.070 --> 00:11:59.070
that too. So we have a lot of stuff coming up

00:11:59.070 --> 00:12:01.769
and Rob's got a little bit of time coming up

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to dedicate to it. So look for some new segments.

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So there you go. So we have a new cyber word

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of the year, Rob. According to the Oxford English

00:12:15.350 --> 00:12:19.690
Dictionary, the word is rage bait. I've never

00:12:19.690 --> 00:12:25.570
heard it. Have you? No. Okay. Well, Oxford University

00:12:25.570 --> 00:12:29.870
Press announced Ragebait as its 2025 word of

00:12:29.870 --> 00:12:33.769
the year. The prestigious publisher, I can't

00:12:33.769 --> 00:12:36.309
speak tonight, publisher defines Ragebait as

00:12:36.309 --> 00:12:39.190
online content deliberately designed to elicit

00:12:39.190 --> 00:12:42.649
anger or outrage by being frustrating, provocative,

00:12:42.990 --> 00:12:46.360
or offensive. typically posted in order to increase

00:12:46.360 --> 00:12:49.139
traffic or engagement with a particular webpage

00:12:49.139 --> 00:12:52.559
or social media content. And this happens all

00:12:52.559 --> 00:12:55.820
the time. And I've got some examples. This is

00:12:55.820 --> 00:12:58.480
what these idiots that I speak about are doing.

00:12:58.600 --> 00:13:01.360
The known Chiefs haters like the Craig Cartons

00:13:01.360 --> 00:13:03.440
of the world or the Skippy Baylesses and all

00:13:03.440 --> 00:13:06.539
those guys. In my opinion... If he couldn't talk

00:13:06.539 --> 00:13:08.879
about the Chiefs, like Craig Carton in particular,

00:13:09.159 --> 00:13:12.679
I mean, at least Skippard has some other stuff

00:13:12.679 --> 00:13:14.960
that he does, you know, like hanging off of Dak

00:13:14.960 --> 00:13:18.480
Prescott's nuts and stuff like that. But this

00:13:18.480 --> 00:13:20.600
Craig Carton, if it wasn't for Chiefs, he would

00:13:20.600 --> 00:13:23.970
not have anything to say. He has nothing to say.

00:13:24.070 --> 00:13:27.889
In my opinion, he is a no -talent idiot that

00:13:27.889 --> 00:13:30.169
is trying to get his 10 listeners riled up by

00:13:30.169 --> 00:13:32.509
saying things about the Chiefs. The only thing

00:13:32.509 --> 00:13:36.429
he can ever do is dog the Chiefs and dog Kansas

00:13:36.429 --> 00:13:39.970
City. And that's it. He has nothing else to offer.

00:13:40.110 --> 00:13:42.470
He's not smart enough, in my opinion, to offer

00:13:42.470 --> 00:13:44.950
anything else. And him and his 10 listeners are

00:13:44.950 --> 00:13:49.799
all morons. But that's what's going on is the

00:13:49.799 --> 00:13:54.220
intent is to rage you and get you to answer back

00:13:54.220 --> 00:13:56.539
and go, oh, yeah, well, fuck you, and you know,

00:13:56.559 --> 00:13:58.860
and all that stuff. And I was trying to, I was

00:13:58.860 --> 00:14:00.440
screwing with them and pissing them off. And

00:14:00.440 --> 00:14:02.259
then I was like, you know what? No, that's what

00:14:02.259 --> 00:14:04.379
they want. They want people to get on. Don't

00:14:04.379 --> 00:14:06.419
play into them. They're not worth your time.

00:14:06.480 --> 00:14:08.399
Yeah, so I just blocked them. I'm like, nah,

00:14:08.559 --> 00:14:10.480
I'm not going to subscribe to any of this bullshit.

00:14:10.620 --> 00:14:14.779
They're not worth your time. Mm -hmm. So, and

00:14:14.779 --> 00:14:18.029
then. No, it can't be. It can be fun, yeah, and

00:14:18.029 --> 00:14:19.830
I have pissed a lot of people off like that.

00:14:20.169 --> 00:14:26.269
Real bad. Real bad. Real bad. I'll tell that

00:14:26.269 --> 00:14:28.169
a little bit later. It's a little bit fresh.

00:14:28.450 --> 00:14:30.289
It's a little fresh right now, but I've pissed

00:14:30.289 --> 00:14:33.190
a couple people off really, really bad. And it's

00:14:33.190 --> 00:14:38.009
funny. And the problem is there was truth to

00:14:38.009 --> 00:14:40.870
it. That's what the problem was. If there wasn't

00:14:40.870 --> 00:14:42.649
any truth to it, they'd be like, ah, who cares?

00:14:42.889 --> 00:14:45.340
But when they saw that little bit of truth, That

00:14:45.340 --> 00:14:48.980
angers people. That pisses people off. So, all

00:14:48.980 --> 00:14:51.399
right. The number one runner -up word of the

00:14:51.399 --> 00:14:55.299
year is aura farming. Like your aura and farming

00:14:55.299 --> 00:15:00.340
like in growing crops. Yes, aura farming is slang

00:15:00.340 --> 00:15:03.700
for intentionally performing actions, often repetitive

00:15:03.700 --> 00:15:07.559
or performative, to cultivate and project a cool,

00:15:07.620 --> 00:15:13.929
charismatic, or impressive image. For social

00:15:13.929 --> 00:15:16.950
clout, similar to how gamers farm points in a

00:15:16.950 --> 00:15:21.929
video game, it's about curating your vibes, clothes,

00:15:22.169 --> 00:15:25.190
or social media presence to appear effortlessly

00:15:25.190 --> 00:15:28.450
appealing, but can become cringe if it seems

00:15:28.450 --> 00:15:31.149
too forced or desperate. Like a poser trying

00:15:31.149 --> 00:15:35.590
too hard, we used to call them tagalongs or wannabes.

00:15:35.610 --> 00:15:38.830
But this is on the internet now, right? You always

00:15:38.830 --> 00:15:43.360
had the people that weren't cool. And the coolest

00:15:43.360 --> 00:15:45.500
subject, I mean, what's cool to one person could

00:15:45.500 --> 00:15:48.679
be not cool to another, but okay. So generally

00:15:48.679 --> 00:15:50.940
what was cool back then was long hair and cool

00:15:50.940 --> 00:15:53.440
looking clothes and stuff. Then you had the people

00:15:53.440 --> 00:15:55.980
that weren't so cool and weren't so savvy on

00:15:55.980 --> 00:15:59.600
the trends and all that stuff that would hang

00:15:59.600 --> 00:16:02.299
around you because they wanted to be cool too.

00:16:06.570 --> 00:16:09.429
And these Aura people are actually, they're like

00:16:09.429 --> 00:16:11.509
the tag -alongs or the wannabes of the internet,

00:16:11.710 --> 00:16:17.590
you think? Yeah, so. The number two runner -up

00:16:17.590 --> 00:16:20.350
word of the year is biohacking. And like I said,

00:16:20.409 --> 00:16:24.350
this is the, damn it, I just said the name of

00:16:24.350 --> 00:16:28.830
the fucking, give me a second here. Cambridge,

00:16:29.110 --> 00:16:31.610
Cambridge. I didn't have to look at it. The Cambridge

00:16:31.610 --> 00:16:37.309
Six. I've been scattered all day. I'll tell you

00:16:37.309 --> 00:16:40.990
what, this Christmas season is busy as hell this

00:16:40.990 --> 00:16:44.490
year. I have never been this busy around Christmas.

00:16:44.929 --> 00:16:47.610
Well, I can tell you this for a fact. The city

00:16:47.610 --> 00:16:50.769
market was packed until about 7 o 'clock because

00:16:50.769 --> 00:16:53.330
that's when we left. Because of medical appointments,

00:16:54.090 --> 00:16:56.950
we had to do the podcast later. We got to the

00:16:56.950 --> 00:17:00.129
city market about 3, probably began the program

00:17:00.129 --> 00:17:03.809
about 3 .15. We did 2 today. So this is my third

00:17:03.809 --> 00:17:06.829
podcast today. And each one of the ones we did

00:17:06.829 --> 00:17:08.470
were about an hour and a half. So we got out

00:17:08.470 --> 00:17:11.410
there about seven o 'clock and it was still hopping

00:17:11.410 --> 00:17:14.309
people everywhere. So it's, everybody's busy

00:17:14.309 --> 00:17:24.970
this Christmas. So it seems like it. Oh yeah.

00:17:25.029 --> 00:17:30.619
That's what you're saying. Yeah, yeah. Well,

00:17:30.720 --> 00:17:32.559
Val is still out there. She's at Town Center.

00:17:35.799 --> 00:17:38.059
Val is still out there braving. She sent me a

00:17:38.059 --> 00:17:39.960
couple of pictures. I was like, oh, fuck, I'm

00:17:39.960 --> 00:17:42.500
glad I'm not in that. She's out at Town Center

00:17:42.500 --> 00:17:45.180
over here, you know, in Leawood. She's over there

00:17:45.180 --> 00:17:47.339
doing some shopping right now. And that parking

00:17:47.339 --> 00:17:51.480
lot and those roads looked horrible. Not something

00:17:51.480 --> 00:18:04.990
I want to mess with. Even Bolivar? Wow. Geez.

00:18:05.089 --> 00:18:07.210
They stepped away from their meth pipes long

00:18:07.210 --> 00:18:10.869
enough to go do some shopping, huh? Shopping.

00:18:10.890 --> 00:18:16.430
Something. All right. The number two runner -up

00:18:16.430 --> 00:18:20.529
word of the year is biohacking. Biohacking means

00:18:20.529 --> 00:18:23.990
making small strategic changes to your diet,

00:18:24.109 --> 00:18:27.349
lifestyle, or environment to optimize your body's

00:18:27.349 --> 00:18:30.579
performance, health, focus, and longevity. ranging

00:18:30.579 --> 00:18:33.099
from simple habits like better sleep to tech

00:18:33.099 --> 00:18:36.779
-driven experiments. Essentially, a do -it -yourself

00:18:36.779 --> 00:18:39.880
biology to control and improve your own system.

00:18:40.400 --> 00:18:42.839
It's a popular term for personal improvement

00:18:42.839 --> 00:18:45.720
using methods like tracking sleep, intermittent

00:18:45.720 --> 00:18:48.799
fasting, supplements, or diet tweaks to enhance

00:18:48.799 --> 00:18:51.720
well -being, often seen as common -sense health

00:18:51.720 --> 00:18:55.059
hacks with a modern label. So, you know what?

00:18:55.099 --> 00:18:57.160
I think we all do that to an extent, especially

00:18:57.160 --> 00:19:05.220
as you get older. Agreed? see i'm trying to eat

00:19:05.220 --> 00:19:09.200
better yep me too a little bit better sleep yeah

00:19:09.200 --> 00:19:14.200
yeah yeah no the same here i'm doing the same

00:19:14.200 --> 00:19:16.759
thing you have to as you get older if you want

00:19:16.759 --> 00:19:21.339
to be around you're not going to be around if

00:19:21.339 --> 00:19:23.500
you don't and it's that simple which goes to

00:19:23.500 --> 00:19:27.259
um subscription -based health care which i will

00:19:27.259 --> 00:19:30.750
go into later which i found Really fascinating.

00:19:30.750 --> 00:19:33.269
My general doctor is going to a new practice.

00:19:33.990 --> 00:19:39.049
And this is where you pay extra $2 ,400 a year,

00:19:39.210 --> 00:19:42.609
but you get better care. Instead of having 3

00:19:42.609 --> 00:19:45.289
,000 people on her list like she did this year,

00:19:45.490 --> 00:19:48.710
she's going to have 500 people that she is going

00:19:48.710 --> 00:19:52.809
to be the doctor for. And her and her group is

00:19:52.809 --> 00:19:56.259
going to be 500 people. And you pay that extra

00:19:56.259 --> 00:19:59.720
because they do extra. They have different types

00:19:59.720 --> 00:20:03.579
of lifestyle people that show you how to eat

00:20:03.579 --> 00:20:07.759
better, do things better, be better. And also

00:20:07.759 --> 00:20:11.140
the blood work they send straight to the Cleveland

00:20:11.140 --> 00:20:14.279
Clinic instead of sending it to Quest Diagnostics

00:20:14.279 --> 00:20:17.920
or something like that or LabOne, LabCorp. So

00:20:17.920 --> 00:20:23.650
it's a much better service. To me, that is subscription

00:20:23.650 --> 00:20:26.430
health care. I like the idea. The fact is, I

00:20:26.430 --> 00:20:28.970
mean, do you want to pay $2 ,400 extra a month?

00:20:29.690 --> 00:20:32.269
And this is on top of your insurance premiums,

00:20:32.269 --> 00:20:35.069
which suck as they are. And the coverage you

00:20:35.069 --> 00:20:37.109
get isn't anything very good anymore because

00:20:37.109 --> 00:20:41.009
they're all horrible. So, anyhow, we'll move

00:20:41.009 --> 00:20:44.470
on. Rob Bell and I have been watching Ozark Law.

00:20:44.630 --> 00:20:55.680
We love it. Yes. Oh, shit. Yeah, they're starting

00:20:55.680 --> 00:21:01.740
a new season. Okay. Okay. That's cooler than

00:21:01.740 --> 00:21:05.539
hell, yeah. So when you start watching it, it's

00:21:05.539 --> 00:21:07.619
great. We love it. It has mullets, teens trying

00:21:07.619 --> 00:21:10.059
to hit the Magnell Dam bars up with fake IDs,

00:21:10.400 --> 00:21:15.519
and getting busted, of course, and plus guest

00:21:15.519 --> 00:21:18.799
shots of the Methersons here and there. Yeah.

00:21:19.869 --> 00:21:22.529
And a lot of police chases so far. It is great

00:21:22.529 --> 00:21:25.670
entertainment. Oh, my God, dude. Yeah, actually,

00:21:25.769 --> 00:21:30.190
I've got a story about one. Okay, it's probably

00:21:30.190 --> 00:21:34.369
on Ozark Law if it's around there. It may end

00:21:34.369 --> 00:21:37.690
up being on there. I might look back here and

00:21:37.690 --> 00:21:42.130
find it. It's a great show. I'm telling you,

00:21:42.170 --> 00:21:45.730
look it up, watch it. There it is. There it is.

00:21:46.430 --> 00:21:50.950
Okay, cool. Okay, yeah. All right, so, oh, go

00:21:50.950 --> 00:21:55.230
ahead. No, go ahead. Oh, okay. Moving on from

00:21:55.230 --> 00:21:58.289
that, I honestly, okay, there was a study that

00:21:58.289 --> 00:22:00.609
came out last week that suggests women's farts

00:22:00.609 --> 00:22:06.710
are more potent than men's farts. Okay? Really?

00:22:06.869 --> 00:22:11.789
Yeah. I don't see it, but I don't know. You know,

00:22:11.789 --> 00:22:13.690
sometimes when I think my buddy farted, it could

00:22:13.690 --> 00:22:17.480
have been a chick. I don't know, you know. Sometimes

00:22:17.480 --> 00:22:19.200
you're in an environment where you can't ask.

00:22:19.220 --> 00:22:23.599
Go, hey, hey, hey, Jackie. Yeah. Did you fart?

00:22:24.140 --> 00:22:26.819
Yeah, I blasted one out. You know, there's a

00:22:26.819 --> 00:22:29.299
lot of places you can't do that. And you smell

00:22:29.299 --> 00:22:31.279
a horrible one, you automatically assume it's

00:22:31.279 --> 00:22:35.200
the guy, right? The other guy in the room. Let's

00:22:35.200 --> 00:22:38.259
say there's two of you and a chick actually did

00:22:38.259 --> 00:22:40.460
it. And you think the other guy did it like he

00:22:40.460 --> 00:22:44.569
would think I did it, right? You don't think

00:22:44.569 --> 00:22:46.210
the chick did it. You always think the guy did

00:22:46.210 --> 00:22:48.589
it. If it's a horrible smelling fart, you look

00:22:48.589 --> 00:22:50.369
at the next guy next to you and look at him and

00:22:50.369 --> 00:22:52.630
go, oh, you fucker. I can't believe you did that.

00:22:54.170 --> 00:22:57.029
So I believe that this is the reason that this

00:22:57.029 --> 00:22:59.849
might be true. Women hold in their farts because

00:22:59.849 --> 00:23:03.369
they care about who they shit all over. Maybe

00:23:03.369 --> 00:23:11.279
you should. Men will shit all over you because

00:23:11.279 --> 00:23:13.460
farts are funny to us, but not to women, right?

00:23:15.960 --> 00:23:21.519
I believe, it's my belief, that the fart that

00:23:21.519 --> 00:23:24.319
is being held back will gather strength and finally

00:23:24.319 --> 00:23:29.359
come out twice as stinky. You see what I'm saying?

00:23:29.460 --> 00:23:31.480
I think they hold their farts back and they get

00:23:31.480 --> 00:23:34.890
more potent. tumbling in there and turbulence

00:23:34.890 --> 00:23:37.609
and thunder in there and just like moving around

00:23:37.609 --> 00:23:40.849
and fucking all that gas build up and i think

00:23:40.849 --> 00:23:43.289
by the time they get to actually expel the gas

00:23:43.289 --> 00:23:46.089
or they have to there's just no choice i think

00:23:46.089 --> 00:23:47.890
it's that bad because they've been holding it

00:23:47.890 --> 00:23:50.630
up not wanting to shit all over everybody like

00:23:50.630 --> 00:23:53.210
men do you know do you care if you shit all over

00:23:53.210 --> 00:23:59.890
people i don't i'll go i'll crack one out Oh,

00:23:59.950 --> 00:24:01.549
hell yeah. I want to look around and see how

00:24:01.549 --> 00:24:03.650
bad people are reacting to it. I want to hear

00:24:03.650 --> 00:24:06.190
people screaming and blaming each other and hacking

00:24:06.190 --> 00:24:09.490
and vomiting. Yeah. Yeah, I'm proud of that shit.

00:24:09.529 --> 00:24:11.950
I'm like, look at those fuckers back there. Look

00:24:11.950 --> 00:24:14.170
at them. I want to see old women falling down.

00:24:14.329 --> 00:24:16.930
Yes, yes. I want to see children vomiting and

00:24:16.930 --> 00:24:21.970
crying to their parents. I want to see fragile

00:24:21.970 --> 00:24:24.490
people in body bags after I get done shitting

00:24:24.490 --> 00:24:29.650
on them. So that's my belief. What do you think,

00:24:29.670 --> 00:24:31.329
Rob? Do you think that's feasible or do you think

00:24:31.329 --> 00:24:35.170
I'm just reaching? No, I really believe you.

00:24:35.250 --> 00:24:38.549
I take your honest opinion. I'm just going to

00:24:38.549 --> 00:24:42.789
leave it right there. Okay. I know, Rob, I know.

00:24:43.349 --> 00:24:48.349
I know. I've done a little studying on this lately.

00:24:48.589 --> 00:24:51.230
Okay. We're just going to keep going on that.

00:24:51.289 --> 00:24:55.599
Is that fair? Yeah. Okay. All right. Okay. And

00:24:55.599 --> 00:24:57.900
another study, while we're on studies, has revealed

00:24:57.900 --> 00:25:01.140
that the United States is the English -speaking

00:25:01.140 --> 00:25:04.859
country that uses the F -word, as in fuck, word

00:25:04.859 --> 00:25:11.519
most frequently. I think... I know! If I could

00:25:11.519 --> 00:25:15.859
not use... Yes, everything is fuck this, fuck

00:25:15.859 --> 00:25:18.720
that. I mean, I don't know if I could do a vocabulary

00:25:18.720 --> 00:25:20.619
without the word fuck. I'd have to come up with

00:25:20.619 --> 00:25:22.980
something else. I don't know what. I mean, I'd

00:25:22.980 --> 00:25:25.019
have to come up with another buzzword because

00:25:25.019 --> 00:25:26.940
pretty much anymore, if you want to get somebody's

00:25:26.940 --> 00:25:29.220
attention, go, what in the fuck are you doing?

00:25:29.440 --> 00:25:31.660
And then they'll look around. You don't go and

00:25:31.660 --> 00:25:33.200
go, what in the heck are you doing? And they'll

00:25:33.200 --> 00:25:36.279
just be like, yeah, you got to do it for effect

00:25:36.279 --> 00:25:38.779
a lot of times. It's like, you fucking idiot.

00:25:39.319 --> 00:25:43.529
You can't go, oh, you're a dang idiot. it doesn't

00:25:43.529 --> 00:25:47.089
do the same thing gosh darn it you are a dang

00:25:47.089 --> 00:25:50.869
idiot no you go you fucking idiot what the fuck

00:25:50.869 --> 00:25:57.309
is wrong with you that carries clout yeah yeah

00:25:57.309 --> 00:26:03.230
oh yeah yeah like that guy yeah um listen to

00:26:03.230 --> 00:26:08.170
the last podcast listen lab pot last podcast

00:26:08.170 --> 00:26:13.230
you'll understand where that came from So, solidly

00:26:13.230 --> 00:26:15.670
coming in at second is the United Kingdom. The

00:26:15.670 --> 00:26:18.710
English -speaking country that uses the F word

00:26:18.710 --> 00:26:21.670
the least is Australia, but they use variations

00:26:21.670 --> 00:26:24.670
of the word more often than any other English

00:26:24.670 --> 00:26:27.230
-speaking country. The most common variations

00:26:27.230 --> 00:26:30.289
that Australia uses for the F word are feck,

00:26:30.309 --> 00:26:33.529
F -E -C -K, fark, F -A -R -K. I've heard fark

00:26:33.529 --> 00:26:36.529
before. I've never heard fecking, but I've heard

00:26:36.529 --> 00:26:40.799
farking, F -A -R -K. Fark and Furkers. F -U -R

00:26:40.799 --> 00:26:43.099
-K -E -R -S. And I've never heard Furkers before.

00:26:43.900 --> 00:26:47.180
I think if anyone called me a Furker, that would

00:26:47.180 --> 00:26:51.500
just be an instant ass kicking. You know, right?

00:26:52.099 --> 00:26:55.319
Because how stupid that word sounds. I know.

00:26:55.400 --> 00:26:57.200
I wouldn't be able to kick their ass because

00:26:57.200 --> 00:26:59.700
I think they're a fucking retard. Yeah. Yeah.

00:26:59.740 --> 00:27:02.900
I'd be like, dude, I would whip the shit out

00:27:02.900 --> 00:27:05.660
of you. But quite frankly, I don't want to waste

00:27:05.660 --> 00:27:10.119
my knuckles. You know, I don't want to... Yeah,

00:27:11.019 --> 00:27:13.680
I don't want to waste my knuckle skin. You know,

00:27:13.680 --> 00:27:16.240
it may not grow back for a week. So, you know,

00:27:16.240 --> 00:27:18.420
and I wasted it on your ass. If I'm going to

00:27:18.420 --> 00:27:20.019
waste my knuckle skin, I'm going to waste it

00:27:20.019 --> 00:27:26.319
on someone that fucking needs it. Right? Yes.

00:27:29.660 --> 00:27:31.420
People come in and go, did you hit this guy?

00:27:31.460 --> 00:27:34.119
Yeah, okay, that's an extra 30. What? Yeah, he's

00:27:34.119 --> 00:27:40.390
special needs. That should have been your clue.

00:27:40.569 --> 00:27:44.029
He said firking. He said firking. He called you

00:27:44.029 --> 00:27:48.589
a firking idiot. Yeah, you're right. You're right.

00:27:48.670 --> 00:27:51.970
They would hem you up. You're a bad person. All

00:27:51.970 --> 00:28:03.349
right. I've had too much time off. But, yeah,

00:28:03.509 --> 00:28:06.589
I can tell. You're amped up, dude. You've been

00:28:06.589 --> 00:28:08.730
doing a lot of shopping and a lot of fun stuff.

00:28:09.069 --> 00:28:12.069
I had too much time in the car. Oh, oh, and then

00:28:12.069 --> 00:28:15.529
tomorrow is Christmas Eve day. Oh, yeah, yep.

00:28:15.910 --> 00:28:19.210
Okay, we have to go to Excelsior Springs in the

00:28:19.210 --> 00:28:21.410
morning. We're leaving here like 8 o 'clock in

00:28:21.410 --> 00:28:24.170
the morning. Oh, yeah, you told me that. Yeah.

00:28:24.450 --> 00:28:26.849
Yeah, yeah, like two and a half, three hours

00:28:26.849 --> 00:28:32.549
one way. Easily. Two -hour dinner. Easily. It's

00:28:32.549 --> 00:28:35.250
probably more like three hours, I bet. Because

00:28:35.250 --> 00:28:41.230
Excelsior Springs is about... Yeah, because Excelsior

00:28:41.230 --> 00:28:43.609
Springs from here in South Kansas City is about

00:28:43.609 --> 00:28:45.769
50 minutes away, if not a little bit longer.

00:28:46.470 --> 00:28:49.849
Yeah. So I could imagine... Two and a half, three

00:28:49.849 --> 00:28:53.190
hours. Yeah, and I know it's all freeway. It's

00:28:53.190 --> 00:28:59.069
65 highway. Actually, we shoot straight... 13.

00:29:06.480 --> 00:29:11.680
yeah and then cut across okay you know what that

00:29:11.680 --> 00:29:13.960
would probably save about 30 minutes at least

00:29:13.960 --> 00:29:16.319
right there you're right this probably is more

00:29:16.319 --> 00:29:21.660
like two and a half hours yeah okay yeah that's

00:29:21.660 --> 00:29:23.640
probably two and a half hours yeah you're right

00:29:23.640 --> 00:29:26.720
okay i was thinking of it from here but you're

00:29:26.720 --> 00:29:30.380
coming almost a straight shot across so okay

00:29:34.649 --> 00:29:41.049
So, yep, then we are. Let's see what, okay. Okay,

00:29:41.190 --> 00:29:45.390
I'm moving on here. You know what? We are 22

00:29:45.390 --> 00:29:48.210
minutes deep. Let's go ahead and go into some

00:29:48.210 --> 00:29:53.410
of your stuff. So, yeah, yeah, I've got stuff

00:29:53.410 --> 00:29:55.589
and I will do it a little bit later. I have a

00:29:55.589 --> 00:29:58.430
Jeffy X list and stuff like that. But I think

00:29:58.430 --> 00:30:01.490
since we're almost 23 minutes into it, we should

00:30:01.490 --> 00:30:12.380
probably get to you. So go ahead, Rob. Mm -hmm.

00:30:45.069 --> 00:31:06.690
Yes, unfortunately. Good. There is absolutely

00:31:06.690 --> 00:31:16.400
no respect anymore at all. There was this one

00:31:16.400 --> 00:31:22.220
dude from Iowa or something doing 132 to Lake

00:31:22.220 --> 00:31:27.640
Ozark in a Corvette before they began. That is

00:31:27.640 --> 00:31:31.180
like killing somebody just waiting to happen.

00:31:31.220 --> 00:31:35.759
They take fucking felony now, people. Well, here

00:31:35.759 --> 00:31:39.299
we go. Here's one of the latest dumbasses. Here's

00:31:39.299 --> 00:31:54.579
the latest felon. The chase started in Link Creek

00:31:54.579 --> 00:31:59.000
on the 9th of December when an officer attempted

00:31:59.000 --> 00:32:02.059
to stop a motorcycle for a traffic violation.

00:32:02.359 --> 00:32:06.319
Was this in the Tesla? Huh? Was this in their

00:32:06.319 --> 00:32:11.420
Tesla? I don't know. Isn't that the township

00:32:11.420 --> 00:32:13.779
that has a Tesla? Actually, there was a lot of

00:32:13.779 --> 00:32:48.259
people got involved in this. Okay. Terrence Dickerson

00:32:48.259 --> 00:32:54.640
19 years old oh and he's already a felon yep

00:33:16.660 --> 00:33:21.039
Good. Good. Give a little fucking numbskull.

00:33:21.759 --> 00:33:24.059
Give the numbskull something to fucking think

00:33:24.059 --> 00:33:37.799
about. They really needed to stop him before

00:33:37.799 --> 00:33:39.839
it progressed into other things, so hopefully

00:33:39.839 --> 00:33:42.799
this will do it. Hopefully he'll get out of...

00:33:46.340 --> 00:33:49.420
Well, only time will tell. So, you know what?

00:33:49.480 --> 00:33:51.819
And if he comes out worse, he was a rotten apple

00:33:51.819 --> 00:33:53.460
and was never going to get better anyhow. So,

00:33:53.579 --> 00:33:55.559
you know what? At least he's got a shot at it

00:33:55.559 --> 00:33:58.240
and he's got a chance to reflect on his actions

00:33:58.240 --> 00:34:00.859
and think about it for a couple of years. So,

00:34:00.859 --> 00:34:03.740
hopefully some good come out of it. All right.

00:34:03.900 --> 00:34:07.359
We got some emails, Rob, from new emailers because

00:34:07.359 --> 00:34:13.050
we now insert a promo. The email address is 2douches

00:34:13.050 --> 00:34:17.110
at mail .com. 2douchesmail .com. But you've probably

00:34:17.110 --> 00:34:19.190
already heard it when you're listening to this

00:34:19.190 --> 00:34:21.190
right now. It's one of the first things I stick

00:34:21.190 --> 00:34:24.590
in the shows now. So we're going to come right

00:34:24.590 --> 00:34:26.630
back with some emails. So you guys hang tight

00:34:26.630 --> 00:34:38.230
and we'll see you in a minute. Hey, you yankers.

00:34:38.679 --> 00:34:40.880
We often think many things are just true because

00:34:40.880 --> 00:34:43.460
we've heard it our whole lives. That's why here

00:34:43.460 --> 00:34:45.360
at Two Douchebags and Microphone, we developed

00:34:45.360 --> 00:34:49.440
the segment, Not True. We investigate and uncover

00:34:49.440 --> 00:34:54.000
the real truth of what happened. We've heard

00:34:54.000 --> 00:34:56.420
for years that Einstein was so intelligent he

00:34:56.420 --> 00:34:59.820
could not figure out how to tie his shoe. The

00:34:59.820 --> 00:35:03.500
fact is, he disliked wearing socks. He would

00:35:03.500 --> 00:35:06.039
put socks over his shoes to avoid tying them.

00:35:06.159 --> 00:35:08.929
He believed tying shoelaces... was an incredible

00:35:08.929 --> 00:35:12.809
waste of time. So were Crocs when Einstein needed

00:35:12.809 --> 00:35:16.389
them. Hey there, fuckstick. You're just in time

00:35:16.389 --> 00:35:18.869
for brand new feature news nobody gives a shit

00:35:18.869 --> 00:35:21.869
about. There's a small island in the South Pacific

00:35:21.869 --> 00:35:24.849
where people actually talk with eye movements.

00:35:27.070 --> 00:35:29.769
This is Joshua Belmont, your food for thought

00:35:29.769 --> 00:35:33.269
man on The Hustle. Today, we would like to celebrate

00:35:33.269 --> 00:35:37.190
Mr. Timothy J. Brottux. who is credited for the

00:35:37.190 --> 00:35:41.449
invention of two -ply toilet paper. Because of

00:35:41.449 --> 00:35:44.710
you, Timmy, we no longer have to spend ten minutes

00:35:44.710 --> 00:35:48.630
scrubbing our fingernails after every dump. Mr.

00:35:48.710 --> 00:35:52.429
Bratox, you are a true hero. Have you ever wondered

00:35:52.429 --> 00:35:54.670
what something came about? Have you ever looked

00:35:54.670 --> 00:35:56.909
at something and said, I wonder what the origin

00:35:56.909 --> 00:36:00.630
of that is? Well, so have we. That's why we give

00:36:00.630 --> 00:36:07.139
you The Origin Of. The origin of the goatee.

00:36:07.139 --> 00:36:09.320
The goatee is a beard style that dates back to

00:36:09.320 --> 00:36:12.119
ancient Greece and Rome and is named for its

00:36:12.119 --> 00:36:15.639
resemblance to a goat's beard. The goatee has

00:36:15.639 --> 00:36:17.760
been worn by many famous men throughout history,

00:36:17.860 --> 00:36:21.420
including Uncle Sam, Henry M. Hoyt, and Mr. Spock.

00:36:21.719 --> 00:36:24.300
The gobham was often depicted with a goatee,

00:36:24.300 --> 00:36:26.940
and in medieval and renaissance art, Satan was

00:36:26.940 --> 00:36:29.800
depicted with a goatee as well. The goatee became

00:36:29.800 --> 00:36:33.880
popular again in 1940s. a defining trait of the

00:36:33.880 --> 00:36:36.920
beatniks and jazz musicians. It fell out of favor

00:36:36.920 --> 00:36:39.800
again in the 1960s, but became fashionable again

00:36:39.800 --> 00:36:43.460
in the 1990s and 2000s. The term goatee originated

00:36:43.460 --> 00:36:46.619
in the late 20th century. It was originally called

00:36:46.619 --> 00:36:50.159
a goatee. Ms. Gulkenstein was tired of Mark and

00:36:50.159 --> 00:36:53.059
Toe for making sport of her. Little did the douchebags

00:36:53.059 --> 00:36:55.940
know Ms. Gulkenstein was a voodoo high priestess

00:36:55.940 --> 00:36:59.460
when she was younger. She grew angry and cast

00:36:59.460 --> 00:37:02.519
a spell on Rob. Changing Rob into a capuchin

00:37:02.519 --> 00:37:07.099
monkey. Mark took Rob to a local zoo so he could

00:37:07.099 --> 00:37:09.519
be with the other monkeys. Here are the adventures

00:37:09.519 --> 00:37:15.900
of Rob, the capuchin monkey. Shh, be very quiet.

00:37:16.400 --> 00:37:19.039
We're going to listen in as Rob, the capuchin

00:37:19.039 --> 00:37:21.099
monkey, tries to sell the rest of the capuchin

00:37:21.099 --> 00:37:23.940
monkeys Amway. Rob has always dreamed of becoming

00:37:23.940 --> 00:37:27.420
a diamond status Amway as a capuchin monkey.

00:37:48.199 --> 00:37:51.960
Little did our hero Rob know. All the great apes

00:37:51.960 --> 00:37:54.219
owned stock in Sam's Club and became violently

00:37:54.219 --> 00:37:56.280
pissed off when he tried to infringe on their

00:37:56.280 --> 00:37:58.980
territory. They promptly grabbed switches and

00:37:58.980 --> 00:38:01.579
beat his ass for three days straight. Rob could

00:38:01.579 --> 00:38:05.320
not sit down. Two douchebags and a microphone.

00:38:05.679 --> 00:38:10.599
There is no escape. Enter at your own risk. You

00:38:10.599 --> 00:38:14.460
will not make it out. Run while you still can,

00:38:14.659 --> 00:38:24.440
bitches. And now, Deep Thoughts with Mark. So

00:38:24.440 --> 00:38:28.320
let me see. Let's say I was offended by people

00:38:28.320 --> 00:38:31.980
being offended. Then would people being offended

00:38:31.980 --> 00:38:34.320
all the time would have to not be offended around

00:38:34.320 --> 00:38:36.659
me because I was offended by them being offended?

00:38:38.119 --> 00:38:47.920
Hmm. I may never know. No! Hey, this is Uncle

00:38:47.920 --> 00:38:51.079
Rob. I'm going to give you some tips for life.

00:38:52.659 --> 00:38:57.420
This is Uncle Rob's rules to dick pics. Rule

00:38:57.420 --> 00:39:01.079
number one, title of a pic in someone else's

00:39:01.079 --> 00:39:06.119
name. So if you get busted, it's not yours. Rule

00:39:06.119 --> 00:39:10.280
number two, shoot angles complementary to your

00:39:10.280 --> 00:39:28.690
length and girth. My mom is so old, she was a

00:39:28.690 --> 00:39:32.090
waitress at the last supper. Oh shit, what's

00:39:32.090 --> 00:39:36.150
that over there? Oh no, it's the island of horrible

00:39:36.150 --> 00:39:55.889
jokes. I am the mad shitter in Clinton, Missouri.

00:39:57.759 --> 00:40:00.619
Well, okay, like I said this long time ago, you

00:40:00.619 --> 00:40:03.099
know, I don't know I was in my mid -20s I had

00:40:03.099 --> 00:40:06.079
sleep apnea and I had to wear a CPAP and then

00:40:06.079 --> 00:40:09.199
I opted for the surgery so I got surgery and

00:40:09.199 --> 00:40:12.400
then I went back to the doctor and Doctor is

00:40:12.400 --> 00:40:14.079
good. You know this before you could buy the

00:40:14.079 --> 00:40:16.559
CPAP machines you had to rent. Oh, yeah. Okay,

00:40:16.639 --> 00:40:20.039
so it's very expensive for me to keep it another

00:40:20.039 --> 00:40:22.219
day. And the insurance told me, if you don't

00:40:22.219 --> 00:40:25.199
take it back today, that we're going to start

00:40:25.199 --> 00:40:26.920
charging for it. And then in some outrageous

00:40:26.920 --> 00:40:28.639
sense, I'm like, okay, where do I take it back?

00:40:28.760 --> 00:40:30.800
And they said, Clinton, Missouri. I'm like, what

00:40:30.800 --> 00:40:33.099
the fuck? And I was like, well, you want to pay

00:40:33.099 --> 00:40:36.980
for it? No. Okay. So here I was on my way to

00:40:36.980 --> 00:40:38.860
Clinton, Missouri, you know, fucking tooling

00:40:38.860 --> 00:40:41.980
there in my little Ford Ranger at the time. So

00:40:41.980 --> 00:40:44.019
I tool all the way to Clinton, take the fucker

00:40:44.019 --> 00:40:45.639
back. And on the way back, I'm like, you know,

00:40:45.659 --> 00:40:47.460
it's going to be an hour before I can stop. There's

00:40:47.460 --> 00:40:50.579
no station. I'd pull in, get some gas. I'm like,

00:40:50.599 --> 00:40:53.219
eh, I need a 7 -up or something, you know. So

00:40:53.219 --> 00:40:56.840
I go into the crapper there, and it was like

00:40:56.840 --> 00:41:01.800
both of these walls, just alongside where the

00:41:01.800 --> 00:41:04.760
urinals were, were covered in this, like, liquid

00:41:04.760 --> 00:41:08.239
shit. And I since found out through a nurse,

00:41:08.280 --> 00:41:10.480
they said they do it with a colostomy bag somehow.

00:41:11.280 --> 00:41:15.239
And, I mean, it's a gag. I mean, to me, that's

00:41:15.239 --> 00:41:17.969
like, you kill someone over that. So anyhow,

00:41:18.130 --> 00:41:19.829
I'm sitting there about ready to fucking gag.

00:41:19.969 --> 00:41:24.809
It smells so horrible. And anyhow, I'm dry heaving

00:41:24.809 --> 00:41:26.789
and just pissing as hard as I can. It's hurting

00:41:26.789 --> 00:41:29.449
me. And I'm pissing so hard that it's actually

00:41:29.449 --> 00:41:32.989
hurting me. I'm like, and all of a sudden this

00:41:32.989 --> 00:41:35.269
old man barges in. I think he's the owner of

00:41:35.269 --> 00:41:37.889
the store. And he points at me and he goes, I

00:41:37.889 --> 00:41:40.670
caught him. I caught him. I caught the mad shitter.

00:41:41.170 --> 00:41:45.519
And I'm like, what? And I go, I just got in here,

00:41:45.579 --> 00:41:47.699
sir. Meanwhile, I'm still trying to piss as fast

00:41:47.699 --> 00:41:50.460
as I can. I'm still dry heaving. It's him. It's

00:41:50.460 --> 00:41:53.820
him. I caught him. And I go, I just got in here.

00:41:53.900 --> 00:41:56.000
How did I shit all over everything? My pants

00:41:56.000 --> 00:41:58.420
are up. And he would not listen to me. So he

00:41:58.420 --> 00:42:01.079
starts fucking harping at me behind me while

00:42:01.079 --> 00:42:03.219
I'm leaving that place. Didn't wash my hands,

00:42:03.300 --> 00:42:07.099
nothing. Pissed all over myself. Hey, I'm getting

00:42:07.099 --> 00:42:08.820
the fuck out of there because I'm not the mad

00:42:08.820 --> 00:42:10.619
shitter, and I don't want anything. I don't want

00:42:10.619 --> 00:42:13.199
to be associated with it. So I'm, like, taking

00:42:13.199 --> 00:42:15.219
off, and I'm leaving as fast as I can. I'm like,

00:42:15.280 --> 00:42:17.559
I'm getting my fucking 7 -Up, damn it. I mean,

00:42:17.599 --> 00:42:19.679
I'm thirsty. So I go over and get my 7 -Up, and

00:42:19.679 --> 00:42:21.519
the old man's still behind me, harping. Hey,

00:42:21.519 --> 00:42:25.400
Sam, Sam, I got the mad shitter. And I'm sitting

00:42:25.400 --> 00:42:26.920
there just, I don't know what to say at this

00:42:26.920 --> 00:42:28.940
point because he will not shut up. He will not

00:42:28.940 --> 00:42:31.880
quit fucking chirping at me from behind me. So

00:42:31.880 --> 00:42:34.579
I get up there, and I'm buying my 7 -Up, and

00:42:34.579 --> 00:42:36.829
I look the lady in the eyes. I go. I just walked

00:42:36.829 --> 00:42:39.469
in there. I'm not the mad shitter. And she looks

00:42:39.469 --> 00:42:43.349
at me and goes, sure you're not. I don't think

00:42:43.349 --> 00:42:45.090
she believed me either. She thought I was the

00:42:45.090 --> 00:42:48.989
mad shitter. Yeah, so I brought my seven up and

00:42:48.989 --> 00:43:45.340
left in shame. Two douchebags and a microphone.

00:43:45.480 --> 00:43:47.960
I am Mark. I'm one of your gracious hosts of

00:43:47.960 --> 00:43:51.699
this here podcast in Kansas City at the Talk

00:43:51.699 --> 00:43:53.960
is Cheap studio, and I like to make goat noises

00:43:53.960 --> 00:44:20.619
right after. thank you and uh we are near the

00:44:20.619 --> 00:44:26.139
beautiful blue river so anyhow uh i just had

00:44:26.139 --> 00:44:29.960
to add that you got the rv park and you know

00:44:29.960 --> 00:44:32.099
it was it was a great place to go smash snakes

00:44:32.099 --> 00:44:35.619
with a rock wasn't it yes and stomp in the mud

00:44:35.619 --> 00:44:39.139
and piss our parents off good times good times

00:44:39.139 --> 00:44:43.260
um all right the first one hey guys what a unique

00:44:43.260 --> 00:44:45.659
show this reminds me of a blend of all the former

00:44:45.659 --> 00:44:48.820
morning shows that i used to love I started binge

00:44:48.820 --> 00:44:51.260
listening last Monday. I plan on working my way

00:44:51.260 --> 00:44:53.840
down the list. Thank you, guys. This is a void

00:44:53.840 --> 00:44:57.159
that has been missing now for years. Tommy near

00:44:57.159 --> 00:45:02.719
New Orleans. Tommy, bravo. Awesome. Awesome.

00:45:03.000 --> 00:45:05.780
You get it. This is exactly what we're trying

00:45:05.780 --> 00:45:09.739
to do. We are primitive. We're not as good. We

00:45:09.739 --> 00:45:11.860
admit that, but you cannot get that type of program

00:45:11.860 --> 00:45:15.039
anymore. So here we are. We're not the best.

00:45:15.099 --> 00:45:18.920
Oh, boy. Yeah. We're not the best, but... Oh,

00:45:18.920 --> 00:45:23.119
boy, love it. Yeah, so thank you, Tommy, near

00:45:23.119 --> 00:45:27.860
New Orleans. That's what we're trying to do.

00:45:28.079 --> 00:45:30.619
That's our whole goal right there. You see, this

00:45:30.619 --> 00:45:35.119
is the beauty of getting more writers, more emailers.

00:45:35.119 --> 00:45:37.880
You get gold like this. And then there's a couple

00:45:37.880 --> 00:45:40.920
of them that I left out because I get... Okay,

00:45:41.059 --> 00:45:43.599
I say hate email goes to the front, but it's

00:45:43.599 --> 00:45:45.380
got to have some sort of substance. It can't

00:45:45.380 --> 00:45:47.820
just be like, you suck, you're an idiot. It's

00:45:47.820 --> 00:45:50.059
got to be something. It's got to be something

00:45:50.059 --> 00:45:52.639
catchy or something that makes us want to talk

00:45:52.639 --> 00:45:54.960
about it. So, yeah, I left a lot of them out

00:45:54.960 --> 00:45:58.960
because it's boring. You suck. You're an idiot.

00:45:59.460 --> 00:46:01.460
Okay. All right. Well, thank you. And then you

00:46:01.460 --> 00:46:03.800
move on. So, I mean, there's nothing to do for

00:46:03.800 --> 00:46:07.460
an email like that. So, all right. Mark Robin

00:46:07.460 --> 00:46:12.400
Topher. Who would you all like to see win a Super

00:46:12.400 --> 00:46:15.119
Bowl now that you guys are out? Rossington. Ross

00:46:15.119 --> 00:46:25.389
again in Dallas. Rossington. Bill's. Rossington's

00:46:25.389 --> 00:46:27.929
become a very prominent one. And we thank you,

00:46:27.969 --> 00:46:31.250
Rossington. And we love Dallas. Dallas is a fantastic

00:46:31.250 --> 00:46:37.590
city. It's a great place to sweat. Do what? Yeah.

00:46:39.269 --> 00:46:43.329
Yep. Yeah, it is. Down 69 Highway also. Both

00:46:43.329 --> 00:46:52.900
of them. Okay. My problem is I have been so busy

00:46:52.900 --> 00:46:56.519
this year getting married, moving, and everything.

00:46:56.739 --> 00:47:00.340
I have not really watched any football at all.

00:47:00.800 --> 00:47:03.400
I really haven't. I believe that you've been

00:47:03.400 --> 00:47:08.860
so busy. Well, from what I'm hearing, Denver's

00:47:08.860 --> 00:47:13.699
still in the running. They're in the driver's

00:47:13.699 --> 00:47:22.590
seat. Well, I like Josh Allen as a person. I

00:47:22.590 --> 00:47:25.670
like Josh Allen as a person. Bill's Mafia, I

00:47:25.670 --> 00:47:28.570
could leave them. They're obnoxious. But I like

00:47:28.570 --> 00:47:30.550
Josh Allen as a person. I'd love to see him win

00:47:30.550 --> 00:47:32.929
a Super Bowl because we can't this year. We're

00:47:32.929 --> 00:47:38.110
out of it. But Denver's fine, too. I like Bo

00:47:38.110 --> 00:47:42.650
Nix. I like Sean Payton. So, yeah, okay. And

00:47:42.650 --> 00:47:44.849
if not that, then I would like to see San Francisco

00:47:44.849 --> 00:47:51.630
finally get theirs. Yeah, I mean, you know, they've

00:47:51.630 --> 00:47:55.809
fought so hard. They fought us so hard. Yeah,

00:47:56.170 --> 00:47:59.210
yeah, they deserve one. Just not Philadelphia.

00:48:00.769 --> 00:48:03.489
The Packers would be okay, but I'm not exceptionally

00:48:03.489 --> 00:48:07.829
high on them. I don't think they can do it. Seattle,

00:48:08.110 --> 00:48:14.630
I'm not a believer in Sam Darnold at all. So,

00:48:14.630 --> 00:48:19.840
anyhow, all right. Mark, and I'm going to ask

00:48:19.840 --> 00:48:21.659
you too. They didn't put your name down, but

00:48:21.659 --> 00:48:24.840
I'm asking you myself. Mark, what is your favorite

00:48:24.840 --> 00:48:28.619
Metallica album and song? Favorite album is Master

00:48:28.619 --> 00:48:32.400
of Puppets. Song is Call of Cthulhu. And it's

00:48:32.400 --> 00:48:34.679
an instrumental, no singing. And it's on Ride

00:48:34.679 --> 00:48:38.380
the Lightning. So Master of Puppets album, Call

00:48:38.380 --> 00:48:42.159
of Cthulhu off of Ride the Lightning. My favorite

00:48:42.159 --> 00:48:59.320
song of Metallica. Rob? Off of Injustice. Yes.

00:48:59.619 --> 00:49:03.119
That is a great song. That is a fantastic song.

00:49:04.840 --> 00:49:12.400
Yeah, it gives the military... Do you know what

00:49:12.400 --> 00:49:14.820
I mean? Yeah, it does, and it's also... It was

00:49:14.820 --> 00:49:18.159
a soldier, right? Yeah. It's also off an old

00:49:18.159 --> 00:49:20.119
movie about a guy that was kept alive, and he

00:49:20.119 --> 00:49:23.639
was just basically like a box. Right, right,

00:49:23.719 --> 00:49:27.170
right. I love it. Yeah, it's a great song. It's

00:49:27.170 --> 00:49:29.389
a disturbing movie if you ever bothered to watch

00:49:29.389 --> 00:49:35.190
it. Yeah, very disturbing. All right, this next

00:49:35.190 --> 00:49:37.710
one. I'm going to preface this with this right

00:49:37.710 --> 00:49:42.190
here. If this is really Mitch, I want you, because

00:49:42.190 --> 00:49:44.349
this is a different email that you normally use.

00:49:44.510 --> 00:49:46.590
If this is really you, because we have people

00:49:46.590 --> 00:49:50.789
trying to imitate Mitch and do stupid shit. So

00:49:50.789 --> 00:49:53.829
if this is really Mitch, send me your code that

00:49:53.829 --> 00:49:56.989
I sent you. from this email that you sent me

00:49:56.989 --> 00:49:59.550
send me your code and i know it's you if not

00:49:59.550 --> 00:50:02.449
i know it's bullshit okay i'm in wheatland right

00:50:02.449 --> 00:50:05.269
now and rob can't find me i snapped a picture

00:50:05.269 --> 00:50:07.469
of the douchebag mobile and i will post it and

00:50:07.469 --> 00:50:10.730
show it on the facebook page soon mitch in hickory

00:50:10.730 --> 00:50:15.090
county are you in hickory county yes i am well

00:50:15.090 --> 00:50:25.630
they got that right so They got that right, so

00:50:25.630 --> 00:50:29.849
I don't know. Maybe it is Mitch. Mitch, if this

00:50:29.849 --> 00:50:31.869
is you, if you're still listening, because we

00:50:31.869 --> 00:50:33.230
haven't really got any emails. To be honest,

00:50:35.010 --> 00:50:39.690
the douchebag mobile would not be very hard to

00:50:39.690 --> 00:50:45.329
find in this rinky -dink town. On the street

00:50:45.329 --> 00:50:48.530
that I live on, to say it. All right, then Mitch,

00:50:48.570 --> 00:50:51.130
post him on the page. If this is you, post him

00:50:51.130 --> 00:50:54.320
on the page. Yeah. Yeah, we want to see him.

00:50:56.360 --> 00:50:59.860
All right, the next one. I do like the political

00:50:59.860 --> 00:51:02.519
section of last week's show. I still think it

00:51:02.519 --> 00:51:04.659
would be better served in another podcast with

00:51:04.659 --> 00:51:07.280
a political title. I mean, would you trust the

00:51:07.280 --> 00:51:10.099
opinions of someone called Douchebag? Jerry and

00:51:10.099 --> 00:51:14.639
Wayne Nebraska. Good point. Okay, okay, can I

00:51:14.639 --> 00:51:17.639
answer this? Yes, please. We're doing it now.

00:51:18.659 --> 00:51:28.679
Yes. Yes. And also, here's the deal. That's why

00:51:28.679 --> 00:51:31.300
we save it to the last whenever we have political

00:51:31.300 --> 00:51:34.400
stuff. That way, if you don't wish to partake,

00:51:34.440 --> 00:51:37.739
you just hang up. That's it. Shut it off. Go

00:51:37.739 --> 00:51:42.019
do something else. And that was just a trial.

00:51:42.280 --> 00:51:45.099
That was just a trial. Yeah, and also, if it

00:51:45.099 --> 00:51:48.079
makes people feel better, I'll come up with an

00:51:48.079 --> 00:51:51.099
introduction. And we just go, all right, douchebags

00:51:51.099 --> 00:51:53.139
is ending. Go fuck yourself. Whatever, you know.

00:51:53.179 --> 00:51:54.940
And then all of a sudden the new beginning comes

00:51:54.940 --> 00:51:56.579
on. Then we come back on and go, hey, this is

00:51:56.579 --> 00:51:59.860
a political show. I'm Mark, you know. Yeah, if

00:51:59.860 --> 00:52:02.039
you don't want to listen, go on. Yeah, yeah.

00:52:02.119 --> 00:52:05.219
So it's just a formality of being another show

00:52:05.219 --> 00:52:07.039
or not. It doesn't have to be another show. It

00:52:07.039 --> 00:52:09.539
can be another show attached to this show. However

00:52:09.539 --> 00:52:12.679
you want to look at it is fine. It would still

00:52:12.679 --> 00:52:18.539
be two douchebags, but we will let you. But I

00:52:18.539 --> 00:52:21.260
did like the point, do you trust an opinion of

00:52:21.260 --> 00:52:24.460
two guys named Douchebag? I get that. But listen,

00:52:24.619 --> 00:52:28.639
people know that we're not all the way dumb,

00:52:28.780 --> 00:52:35.579
okay? We do have some sense in there. So Jerry

00:52:35.579 --> 00:52:37.820
and Wayne Nebraska, thank you for your opinion

00:52:37.820 --> 00:52:41.780
there. And we value it. It's great points that

00:52:41.780 --> 00:52:44.159
you put up, but we feel like it is two shows,

00:52:44.300 --> 00:52:59.079
but we just put it in one. All right. Yeah, yeah,

00:52:59.139 --> 00:53:01.679
and also Topher and I are not ruling out during

00:53:01.679 --> 00:53:03.980
the slow season of football right after the Super

00:53:03.980 --> 00:53:07.059
Bowl about doing a different type of podcast.

00:53:07.179 --> 00:53:09.639
We've been wanting to do like what really happened

00:53:09.639 --> 00:53:12.059
or something like that. We'll see what happens

00:53:12.059 --> 00:53:15.139
because a lot of the stuff that we're doing,

00:53:15.300 --> 00:53:18.119
the what really happened, is kind of boring.

00:53:19.559 --> 00:53:22.280
And I don't see people really tuning in. They'd

00:53:22.280 --> 00:53:24.460
be like, yeah, okay, yeah, that is cool, but

00:53:24.460 --> 00:53:26.639
I don't care that much to listen to an hour of

00:53:26.639 --> 00:53:28.570
it. We're trying to figure out what would be

00:53:28.570 --> 00:53:33.070
entertaining, fun, and make people want to listen.

00:53:33.449 --> 00:53:37.150
So sometimes that's not easy. We don't know.

00:53:37.170 --> 00:53:39.630
We might stick with part sports format and then

00:53:39.630 --> 00:53:42.550
something else. Like today on the Music Creeps,

00:53:42.570 --> 00:53:45.650
we went into regular. The sports one, there's

00:53:45.650 --> 00:53:48.590
too much going on with the Chiefs moving to Kansas

00:53:48.590 --> 00:53:52.070
and all that stuff. So we had a full hour and

00:53:52.070 --> 00:53:55.210
a half of sports. But the music creeps, we had

00:53:55.210 --> 00:53:58.670
enough time to put in regular articles and do

00:53:58.670 --> 00:54:02.050
like a regular douchebag show. We could even

00:54:02.050 --> 00:54:04.250
do that because I have so many stories I can't

00:54:04.250 --> 00:54:06.650
get to and I end up throwing them away because

00:54:06.650 --> 00:54:09.289
they're dated. So this could be an outlet for

00:54:09.289 --> 00:54:12.809
those stories that we don't get to. on the sports

00:54:12.809 --> 00:54:16.130
show slash whatever so all right we got a bunch

00:54:16.130 --> 00:54:17.929
of stuff we got a bunch of fires and iron so

00:54:17.929 --> 00:54:21.230
there you go all right hey guys if you could

00:54:21.230 --> 00:54:23.789
get any guest on the show who would it be midi

00:54:23.789 --> 00:54:26.369
and oceanfront lauderdale at sea at the aruba

00:54:26.369 --> 00:54:30.110
cafe i love that place aruba cafe is fantastic

00:54:30.110 --> 00:54:32.469
is a great place to have a fantastic meal on

00:54:32.469 --> 00:54:35.469
the beach and also if it rained a little bit

00:54:35.469 --> 00:54:37.469
you see a lot of double rainbows over the pier

00:54:38.460 --> 00:54:40.920
Aruba Cafe is one of my favorite places, and

00:54:40.920 --> 00:54:43.340
it's at Lauderdale at Sea, which is right down

00:54:43.340 --> 00:54:48.380
from Ocean Sky and Ocean Manor, the two places

00:54:48.380 --> 00:54:50.340
that we stay at. We probably will not be staying

00:54:50.340 --> 00:54:52.900
at Ocean Manor anymore, but Ocean Sky, we could

00:54:52.900 --> 00:54:57.079
stay there. They're a very nice place with balconies

00:54:57.079 --> 00:55:00.239
that overlook the ocean. It's a fantastic place.

00:55:00.679 --> 00:55:04.099
Lauderdale at Sea is a mile away, so Aruba Cafe

00:55:04.099 --> 00:55:07.500
is. But anyhow, what was the original question?

00:55:08.000 --> 00:55:12.320
Oh, a guest. A guest. Sorry, I started talking

00:55:12.320 --> 00:55:17.699
about that because I love that area. A guest.

00:55:19.159 --> 00:55:23.039
Hmm. Let me think here. There's so many possibilities.

00:55:23.260 --> 00:55:31.739
So many. I'm going to say Tony Iommi. Oh, yeah.

00:55:32.239 --> 00:55:36.650
Definitely. Okay. We are musically inclined.

00:55:37.329 --> 00:55:40.449
A show like ours, he might break out with some

00:55:40.449 --> 00:55:43.170
shit he's never mentioned. Yeah, I think we could

00:55:43.170 --> 00:55:44.630
loosen up a little bit. Everybody's going to

00:55:44.630 --> 00:55:47.610
listen to it. Yes. I have so many questions I

00:55:47.610 --> 00:55:50.570
would love to ask him. So, yeah, I think Tony

00:55:50.570 --> 00:55:53.750
Iommi. We are musical people. I mean, I grew

00:55:53.750 --> 00:55:57.429
up playing guitar. I used to be much better at

00:55:57.429 --> 00:55:59.769
it, but I'm not anymore, Rob. If you heard me

00:55:59.769 --> 00:56:07.460
play now, you'd laugh. So, anyhow. I would love

00:56:07.460 --> 00:56:10.340
to talk to him, too. He would be my second, and

00:56:10.340 --> 00:56:14.699
my third would be Brian May. Yep. So, yeah. Okay,

00:56:14.780 --> 00:56:16.619
there you go. We got three of them there for

00:56:16.619 --> 00:56:19.980
you. If Iome and Blackmore tell us to go fuck

00:56:19.980 --> 00:56:24.159
ourselves, then we'll try Brian May. Yeah. All

00:56:24.159 --> 00:56:27.940
right. And then finally... If that fails, well,

00:56:28.360 --> 00:56:33.139
is George Brent still alive? Yes, he is. Yes,

00:56:33.139 --> 00:56:37.380
he is. Well, Iome... There we go. I'd love to

00:56:37.380 --> 00:56:39.280
talk to him. He's a nice guy. I met him in person.

00:56:39.559 --> 00:56:44.860
Yeah, very cordial. Yeah, I'm not going to reveal

00:56:44.860 --> 00:56:47.340
where I met him or anything, but very nice guy.

00:56:48.239 --> 00:56:50.800
He could have been more respectful. Matter of

00:56:50.800 --> 00:56:55.920
fact, where I seen him, he was signing the fireman's

00:56:55.920 --> 00:56:58.480
paraphernalia because they were coming through

00:56:58.480 --> 00:57:02.000
the store that I was going in. And he signed

00:57:02.000 --> 00:57:04.320
them and he thanked them for their service. I

00:57:04.320 --> 00:57:06.699
was just like, I was like, That's a good dude

00:57:06.699 --> 00:57:09.760
right there. Yeah, I really appreciate that.

00:57:09.820 --> 00:57:12.659
George Brett, I would love, I could put him ahead

00:57:12.659 --> 00:57:17.780
of Iommi and Blackmore easily. So, all right.

00:57:19.579 --> 00:57:21.820
Orma Holmes, you know what, there's so many.

00:57:21.900 --> 00:57:24.239
Andy Reid, I'd love to pick his brain. So, all

00:57:24.239 --> 00:57:28.179
right. This is a featured email. I would like

00:57:28.179 --> 00:57:30.079
to be clear and give everyone on this podcast

00:57:30.079 --> 00:57:32.500
a compliment. I think you guys have a unique

00:57:32.500 --> 00:57:35.280
brand of podcast and I personally love it. My

00:57:35.280 --> 00:57:37.579
question is for Mark, the confessed ringleader

00:57:37.579 --> 00:57:40.420
of the show. How many hours a week, estimate,

00:57:40.619 --> 00:57:43.820
do you put in for the show? I was in media for

00:57:43.820 --> 00:57:45.860
years and do recognize all the labor it would

00:57:45.860 --> 00:57:49.000
take to do a production like the show, and especially

00:57:49.000 --> 00:57:50.980
with the equipment you use that I'm familiar

00:57:50.980 --> 00:57:57.780
with. Mason in New York. Okay. Mason, thank you.

00:57:57.840 --> 00:58:02.409
I'm glad you recognize that. If I had to put

00:58:02.409 --> 00:58:04.550
it in hours, geez, I don't know. I spend a lot

00:58:04.550 --> 00:58:07.969
of time, a lot of time come up with different...

00:58:07.969 --> 00:58:10.889
Between all the shows, yeah. Between all the

00:58:10.889 --> 00:58:14.469
shows, I would say 20 hours a week, easily. At

00:58:14.469 --> 00:58:19.809
least. At least. And there's a lot of work that

00:58:19.809 --> 00:58:22.989
I do that people don't even realize either. All

00:58:22.989 --> 00:58:25.849
the research that I have to do to come up with

00:58:25.849 --> 00:58:32.480
some of these stories. Yeah, I see that. And

00:58:32.480 --> 00:58:35.000
also another problem that I have is this right

00:58:35.000 --> 00:58:39.320
here. There's been so many ideas from shows that

00:58:39.320 --> 00:58:41.719
I love listening to growing up when I was a young

00:58:41.719 --> 00:58:44.400
man, younger man, that all these shows that I

00:58:44.400 --> 00:58:47.659
listened to that I've spoke about before, I'm

00:58:47.659 --> 00:58:49.559
afraid I'm going to repeat something they already

00:58:49.559 --> 00:58:53.000
did. Because sometimes you hear something and

00:58:53.000 --> 00:58:56.019
it sticks in your head. And this is how songs

00:58:56.019 --> 00:58:58.239
are accidentally stolen and they get sued and

00:58:58.239 --> 00:58:59.960
all that stuff. This is different. You know,

00:59:00.019 --> 00:59:03.179
you can't. do that on this type of format because

00:59:03.179 --> 00:59:06.460
it's free game but the thing is i'm afraid of

00:59:06.460 --> 00:59:10.239
actually copying somebody and not realizing it

00:59:10.239 --> 00:59:13.099
so i'm constantly trying to think did i hear

00:59:13.099 --> 00:59:15.840
this before is this something that's too close

00:59:15.840 --> 00:59:19.139
to something else and if it is it is definitely

00:59:19.139 --> 00:59:23.539
not it is not meant to be like that it's not

00:59:23.539 --> 00:59:26.619
planned It's something that like, I mean, like

00:59:26.619 --> 00:59:28.519
comedians, sometimes they overlap and they don't

00:59:28.519 --> 00:59:30.260
even realize it. You know, they hear a joke and

00:59:30.260 --> 00:59:31.760
it sticks in their head and then later on they

00:59:31.760 --> 00:59:34.739
tell it. But your mind has a weird way of making

00:59:34.739 --> 00:59:39.119
it your own. So that's kind of a weird, interesting

00:59:39.119 --> 00:59:45.059
dynamic that I do now because of certain things

00:59:45.059 --> 00:59:48.050
that have happened. and I'm always constantly

00:59:48.050 --> 00:59:50.309
going, okay, did this come from somewhere else,

00:59:50.329 --> 00:59:53.269
or is this my idea? As far as I know, every one

00:59:53.269 --> 00:59:56.969
of them have been my and your ideas, and Topher's

00:59:56.969 --> 00:59:59.690
too, and I try not to do anything like that,

00:59:59.750 --> 01:00:04.409
but 20 hours a week. So, anyhow. All right, Rob.

01:00:05.570 --> 01:00:24.929
Yeah. And that's quite a bet. That's quite a

01:00:24.929 --> 01:00:29.110
bet. That's quite a bet because he's on the other

01:00:29.110 --> 01:00:31.230
line with his stories. You see, I don't know

01:00:31.230 --> 01:00:33.429
what they are. We don't discuss them. And that's

01:00:33.429 --> 01:00:34.849
what we like. That's one of the things we like

01:00:34.849 --> 01:00:40.269
about it is the spontaneity of the whole thing

01:00:40.269 --> 01:00:41.750
where he throws something at me and I'm like,

01:00:41.789 --> 01:00:44.469
oh, wow, where did that come from? We love that.

01:00:45.130 --> 01:00:49.889
So, thank you for recognizing that. And also,

01:00:50.090 --> 01:00:54.860
listen, I mean, If you're anybody else that has

01:00:54.860 --> 01:00:56.880
ever listened to the program that had a show

01:00:56.880 --> 01:01:00.300
or whatever, nobody's trying to copy you. I assure

01:01:00.300 --> 01:01:04.199
you, but you have all left your imprint. Yeah.

01:01:04.420 --> 01:01:07.400
You have all left your imprint on us through

01:01:07.400 --> 01:01:11.039
your art. So be proud of that. Nobody's trying

01:01:11.039 --> 01:01:13.219
to, no one's making a dime off of you. Number

01:01:13.219 --> 01:01:16.440
one from stealing anything or nothing like that.

01:01:16.519 --> 01:01:20.210
So, you know, we're just trying to. Do what we

01:01:20.210 --> 01:01:23.429
do. And we have our influences. And that's all

01:01:23.429 --> 01:01:25.010
we're trying to do. And thank you very much.

01:01:25.130 --> 01:01:28.150
We appreciate all these comments and people asking

01:01:28.150 --> 01:01:31.650
Mason in New York. I sent you an email back.

01:01:31.869 --> 01:01:35.570
So if you hear this, look for it. I would like

01:01:35.570 --> 01:01:38.929
to know a little bit more specifics of where

01:01:38.929 --> 01:01:40.969
you work. I'm not going to tell anybody or nothing.

01:01:41.050 --> 01:01:42.809
I'm not going to hit you up going, hey, give

01:01:42.809 --> 01:01:45.170
me a job or not. I just want to know where you

01:01:45.170 --> 01:01:46.889
come from because you sound like you know what

01:01:46.889 --> 01:01:50.769
you're talking about. So, Mason, thank you. Rob,

01:01:50.869 --> 01:01:56.389
let's turn it to you. All right. Well, you know

01:01:56.389 --> 01:02:01.989
what time it is. Yeah, the greatest segment ever,

01:02:02.090 --> 01:02:07.829
ever in the history of the world. Time for Rob's

01:02:07.829 --> 01:02:20.179
Bag of Garbage. Yay! Yay! Yay! I know, but you

01:02:20.179 --> 01:02:22.019
know what? I've been talking all day, like I

01:02:22.019 --> 01:02:27.300
said. I'm sorry. I should sound like a sick seal.

01:02:27.559 --> 01:02:33.300
Even a flap of silence. Never thought about that,

01:02:33.380 --> 01:02:37.440
but now I am. But, Rob, it is sincere. It is

01:02:37.440 --> 01:02:40.820
sincere. This is my favorite portion. It is sincere.

01:02:40.920 --> 01:02:43.980
I'm not just doing that to say it. So, anyhow,

01:02:44.079 --> 01:04:08.050
Rob, go ahead. I fucking love it. Wow. Okay.

01:04:09.429 --> 01:05:59.889
Yes, it does. Oh! Okay. Okay. Wow. Boy. All right.

01:06:00.269 --> 01:06:41.679
Okay. That just makes me cringe. Should I make

01:06:41.679 --> 01:07:24.969
goat noises? Okay. All right. Okay. They're hiding

01:07:24.969 --> 01:08:20.470
something hiding something Okay So the people

01:08:20.470 --> 01:08:25.529
trying to rip her off saved her life. Yeah. Wow.

01:08:26.829 --> 01:09:44.039
Okay. Oh, boy. I bet! That might be the best

01:09:44.039 --> 01:09:46.180
story you've ever covered, and you've covered

01:09:46.180 --> 01:09:52.880
a lot of really good stories, Rob. Wow. That's

01:09:52.880 --> 01:09:54.720
why I thought he was hiding something. It's like,

01:09:54.760 --> 01:09:58.140
who does that the first day? I mean, you don't

01:09:58.140 --> 01:10:03.380
even have time to let it process. I can understand

01:10:03.380 --> 01:10:05.720
that. It's very sad. It hurts. You don't want

01:10:05.720 --> 01:10:10.229
to see him there. I get it. Wow. Okay. But I'm

01:10:10.229 --> 01:10:13.029
much too suspicious for that anyhow. So, you

01:10:13.029 --> 01:10:20.170
know. Wow, crazy. And then her husband ended

01:10:20.170 --> 01:10:22.689
up switching places with her. And he is dead.

01:10:22.869 --> 01:10:26.649
And she is alive. I think that would have happened

01:10:26.649 --> 01:10:30.850
to me too. I would have been like, boom, that's

01:10:30.850 --> 01:10:34.489
it. No more. Heart attack, boom, blew up. Wow.

01:10:35.270 --> 01:10:38.550
Fuck. And then some of the robbers died too.

01:10:46.919 --> 01:10:50.380
okay if there was a story of the decade that's

01:10:50.380 --> 01:10:56.439
it wow all right thank you rob um let's take

01:10:56.439 --> 01:10:58.279
our second break i'm gonna come back with rat

01:10:58.279 --> 01:11:04.300
tours and a jeffy x list so Oh, and the new guy

01:11:04.300 --> 01:11:06.260
walked out. I don't know when he's coming back,

01:11:06.279 --> 01:11:08.460
if he's coming back. He's very unhappy with us.

01:11:08.560 --> 01:11:13.100
So, no new guy on this one. I don't hear anybody

01:11:13.100 --> 01:11:34.409
complaining. So, alright. Post -apocalypse protein

01:11:34.409 --> 01:11:37.430
might be hard to come by. The animals could be

01:11:37.430 --> 01:11:40.789
contaminated or scarce, if any at all. This is

01:11:40.789 --> 01:11:43.909
where protein powder is essential in a post -apocalypse

01:11:43.909 --> 01:11:46.649
survival. The powder is easy to keep and does

01:11:46.649 --> 01:11:50.789
not require refrigeration. Next up, things overheard

01:11:50.789 --> 01:11:56.310
in hell. Man, Axel Rose is such a great childhood

01:11:56.310 --> 01:12:02.489
therapist. I hope he writes more books. Sir,

01:12:02.689 --> 01:12:05.630
I see your qualifications here. May I ask some

01:12:05.630 --> 01:12:07.369
further questions that could help me determine

01:12:07.369 --> 01:12:10.770
your employment eligibility? Yes, sir. I'm ready.

01:12:11.189 --> 01:12:13.829
Well, as you can see here, we have a large population

01:12:13.829 --> 01:12:16.470
of different ethnic backgrounds, sexuality, and

01:12:16.470 --> 01:12:21.229
ages. Are you by chance bilingual? Well, sir,

01:12:21.350 --> 01:12:23.770
I'm not sure why you need that kind of information,

01:12:23.770 --> 01:12:26.890
but, well, it was only one time in summer camp.

01:12:27.250 --> 01:12:34.989
I considered it experimental. Hey peeps, it's

01:12:34.989 --> 01:12:38.369
time for the police blotter. That's right, stories

01:12:38.369 --> 01:12:42.609
about stupid criminals and the dumbassness that

01:12:42.609 --> 01:12:48.649
ensued. Let us begin now. In September 2025,

01:12:49.109 --> 01:12:53.090
a Canadian man was arrested for DUI while attempting

01:12:53.090 --> 01:12:56.729
to drive a Barbie Jeep. Not only did the scaled

01:12:56.729 --> 01:13:00.170
-down Jeep stand out, not it would only go five

01:13:00.170 --> 01:13:03.840
miles an hour. The police chase ended quickly.

01:13:04.039 --> 01:13:07.319
The subject, George Fizzulli, did not get his

01:13:07.319 --> 01:13:11.439
six -pack. But did get a free Uber ride with

01:13:11.439 --> 01:13:15.300
lights a -flashing straight to jail. Now, from

01:13:15.300 --> 01:13:17.199
his underground bunker in Hampton, Missouri,

01:13:17.699 --> 01:13:20.640
stocked full of dried goods, canned food, and

01:13:20.640 --> 01:13:24.180
a couple of vibrating toys, is Ramblings of a

01:13:24.180 --> 01:13:29.060
Madman featuring Rob Rad. My mechanic told me

01:13:29.060 --> 01:13:33.630
I couldn't repair your... So I made you one letter.

01:13:34.670 --> 01:13:40.630
Good job. Ho, ho, ho. This is Crotch the old

01:13:40.630 --> 01:13:43.750
Saint Prick. I'm the guy that comes in after

01:13:43.750 --> 01:13:46.750
Christmas and douses all your dreams and hopes.

01:13:47.029 --> 01:13:52.010
Ho, ho, ho. Well then, let's check in to Saint

01:13:52.010 --> 01:13:56.829
Prick's bag for another letter. This one's from

01:13:56.829 --> 01:14:00.850
Little Lexi from Fort Wayne, Indiana. It reads,

01:14:01.399 --> 01:14:05.960
Dear Prick, I would just like world peace. Thank

01:14:05.960 --> 01:14:09.380
you. Well, little Lexi, all I got for you is

01:14:09.380 --> 01:14:13.420
a horrible poem. Roses are red, violets are blue.

01:14:13.520 --> 01:14:17.000
I cut up your hamster and made a delicious stew.

01:14:17.539 --> 01:14:20.319
Hey, my fellow heavy breathers, this is Dash

01:14:20.319 --> 01:14:26.100
Riptide, your music news. Walls of Jericho is

01:14:26.100 --> 01:14:28.319
a song by Bon Jovi that features a guest appearance

01:14:28.319 --> 01:14:31.260
by Def Leppard singer Joe Elliott. According

01:14:31.260 --> 01:14:34.420
to this Instagram post, the track is from the

01:14:34.420 --> 01:14:36.880
forever legendary edition of Bon Jovi's album,

01:14:37.079 --> 01:14:41.039
which was released in October 2025. The song

01:14:41.039 --> 01:14:43.920
is named Walls of Jericho. The song features

01:14:43.920 --> 01:14:46.939
Bon Jovi and Joe Elliott from Def Leppard. Jon

01:14:46.939 --> 01:14:49.359
Bon Jovi chose this song for Elliott to feature

01:14:49.359 --> 01:14:52.840
on because it's stadium rock sound that is reminiscent

01:14:52.840 --> 01:14:55.699
of both bands. It is their first ever collaboration.

01:14:56.359 --> 01:14:59.659
This is Gash Ruktine, and that was your music

01:14:59.659 --> 01:15:02.720
news. If it's too loud, you probably have ear

01:15:02.720 --> 01:15:12.880
damage, just like me. Hey, good kid. No one gives

01:15:12.880 --> 01:15:14.760
an ounce of shit what you had for breakfast.

01:15:14.979 --> 01:15:17.619
Not even the person on the other end. You look

01:15:17.619 --> 01:15:20.199
like a mentally slow driv yelling into thin air

01:15:20.199 --> 01:15:22.319
all through the store. I pray that Bluetooth

01:15:22.319 --> 01:15:25.140
shorts you out and blows up your eardrums. What

01:15:25.140 --> 01:15:28.220
men consider self -centered dunce. Monty constantly

01:15:28.220 --> 01:15:30.840
coddled this dummy and it fucking shows. Go to

01:15:30.840 --> 01:15:33.260
the fuck home and bore your dog. Wait, you probably

01:15:33.260 --> 01:15:35.319
forgot the theming because you're too busy looking

01:15:35.319 --> 01:15:39.800
in the mirror all day. Fuck off. Two douchebags,

01:15:39.859 --> 01:15:41.819
a microphone, and an effort to keep everything

01:15:41.819 --> 01:15:47.840
fresh. We offer you first world problems. Man,

01:15:47.840 --> 01:15:51.060
my internet is so slow. This is bullshit. How

01:15:51.060 --> 01:15:53.380
am I supposed to browse or get on TikTok with

01:15:53.380 --> 01:15:57.159
slow internet? I'm so pissed off right now. I

01:15:57.159 --> 01:16:01.819
don't know what to do. This is Joshua Belmont,

01:16:01.880 --> 01:16:04.680
your food for thought man on The Hustle. So I

01:16:04.680 --> 01:16:06.760
just realized a genius that gets absolutely no

01:16:06.760 --> 01:16:10.220
credit. His name is Marshall Taylor. He is credited

01:16:10.220 --> 01:16:12.500
with the first bag of salad mix that was bagged

01:16:12.500 --> 01:16:16.840
and sold. Yesterday was his birthday. I believe

01:16:16.840 --> 01:16:19.640
he is still alive. This guy's genius will never

01:16:19.640 --> 01:16:22.920
be fully appreciated. Before this man, we settled

01:16:22.920 --> 01:16:25.340
for iceberg lettuce with maybe a couple of croutons

01:16:25.340 --> 01:16:28.319
and some cheese. Was Mr. Taylor satisfied with

01:16:28.319 --> 01:16:31.750
that? Hell no. He realized that Billy Americana

01:16:31.750 --> 01:16:33.710
would never go out and buy a couple of radishes,

01:16:33.909 --> 01:16:36.149
a couple of carrots, a head of purple cabbage,

01:16:36.329 --> 01:16:38.970
maybe snow peas, and possibly some cute romaine

01:16:38.970 --> 01:16:42.850
bladders for extra bougie. Mr. Taylor, you should

01:16:42.850 --> 01:16:47.640
have a national holiday. Introducing Rob Rad's

01:16:47.640 --> 01:16:50.979
new book, How to Track Your Enemy by Scent. That's

01:16:50.979 --> 01:16:53.380
right, smell your enemy before they get you.

01:16:53.640 --> 01:16:55.979
Order this gem now and get a free virtual tour

01:16:55.979 --> 01:16:58.199
of Rob's secret bunker in Camderton, Missouri.

01:16:58.659 --> 01:17:01.439
Also receive a free copy of his new book, How

01:17:01.439 --> 01:17:08.859
to Clean Raw Sewage for Food. Hey, if you're

01:17:08.859 --> 01:17:10.720
a fan of paying way too much for trinkets and

01:17:10.720 --> 01:17:13.659
food, well your wish is coming true. The Kansas

01:17:13.659 --> 01:17:15.899
City International Airport Guest Pass program

01:17:15.899 --> 01:17:19.399
is starting today. Yes, you too could overspend

01:17:19.399 --> 01:17:22.340
on workless trinkets and $15 cups of coffee.

01:17:22.659 --> 01:17:25.279
You want to buy a $50 cheap t -shirt that has

01:17:25.279 --> 01:17:28.319
KC Western Auto Building image on it? We got

01:17:28.319 --> 01:17:30.859
you covered. Want a barbecue sauce gift pack?

01:17:31.039 --> 01:17:33.960
No problem. Just a mere $40 on your first morning.

01:17:34.279 --> 01:17:37.020
Hurry. You know rubes are jumping all over to

01:17:37.020 --> 01:17:40.479
get to this complete ripoff. Because people are

01:17:40.479 --> 01:17:44.850
cheap. Hey there, fuckstick. You're just in time

01:17:44.850 --> 01:17:47.329
for brand new feature news nobody gives a shit

01:17:47.329 --> 01:17:51.029
about. A pet turtle named Sashi is thought to

01:17:51.029 --> 01:17:54.489
be the oldest one in captivity at 120 years old.

01:17:56.750 --> 01:18:08.729
We are. Two douchebags and a microphone. I am

01:18:08.729 --> 01:18:12.750
Mark, and I am here in Kansas City at the Talk

01:18:12.750 --> 01:18:20.250
is Cheap studio. Man, my goats are pathetic.

01:18:21.250 --> 01:18:23.170
You know what? I'm just not going to do them

01:18:23.170 --> 01:18:25.689
the rest of the day. That's it. So go ahead,

01:18:25.789 --> 01:18:33.390
Rob. Yes, it's gone. It's out. It's over there.

01:18:51.759 --> 01:18:57.319
Awesome. All right. Like I was talking about,

01:18:57.579 --> 01:19:05.300
rat tours. Okay, New York City has a rat problem.

01:19:05.500 --> 01:19:09.880
Everybody knows this. And a person, well, actually

01:19:09.880 --> 01:19:12.760
people, this is just one of them, have been capitalizing

01:19:12.760 --> 01:19:17.779
on this whole issue by having rat tours. Rat

01:19:17.779 --> 01:19:20.439
Tours are a real quirky trend in New York City

01:19:20.439 --> 01:19:22.899
where guides like the famous Rat Daddy, Kenny

01:19:22.899 --> 01:19:25.680
Bulwark, take people to see the city's notorious

01:19:25.680 --> 01:19:29.300
rat hotspots. Offering a mix of urban exploration,

01:19:29.800 --> 01:19:32.840
education on the road and problem, and social

01:19:32.840 --> 01:19:35.260
media buzz, often featuring late night walks

01:19:35.260 --> 01:19:37.760
to see rats in action around garbage and construction

01:19:37.760 --> 01:19:41.760
sites. These tours, some free, some paid, aim

01:19:41.760 --> 01:19:44.300
to show the reality of New York City's pest issue,

01:19:44.399 --> 01:19:47.800
drawing crowds from viral TikToks and highlighting

01:19:47.800 --> 01:19:52.680
issues with waste management. So, pretty interesting

01:19:52.680 --> 01:19:55.159
stuff there. People are making money off of this.

01:19:55.720 --> 01:19:58.659
And people actually care about, you know, a rat

01:19:58.659 --> 01:20:02.560
tour. So, Jeffy X had to do some sleuthing like

01:20:02.560 --> 01:20:05.239
he always does. And he found tours that have

01:20:05.239 --> 01:20:11.170
failed. So Jeffy X is our detective that goes

01:20:11.170 --> 01:20:13.930
around and finds like bad product ideas, bad

01:20:13.930 --> 01:20:16.710
tours, stuff like that. He's been incognito.

01:20:16.710 --> 01:20:18.930
He's been threatened by corporations. They've

01:20:18.930 --> 01:20:22.409
come after him. So he's always incognito. And

01:20:22.409 --> 01:20:24.630
he gets all these information from us. And he's

01:20:24.630 --> 01:20:27.189
usually, you know, he's been shot at. He's been

01:20:27.189 --> 01:20:30.909
tasered. He's been cracked into balls. I mean,

01:20:30.909 --> 01:20:33.289
everything, the poor guy. But he does it for

01:20:33.289 --> 01:20:37.329
us. And in return, Rob. Made him. Rob is an expert

01:20:37.329 --> 01:20:40.529
embroiderer, in case you didn't know. And he

01:20:40.529 --> 01:20:42.550
embroidered very well. He does it with his feet.

01:20:42.890 --> 01:20:45.729
He does it with his hands. He can even do it

01:20:45.729 --> 01:20:47.569
with his eyelids for a certain amount of time,

01:20:47.630 --> 01:20:52.409
right? Yeah, very short period. Yeah. He does

01:20:52.409 --> 01:20:55.029
it in his loincloth. That's pretty tiring. Yes,

01:20:55.050 --> 01:20:58.470
yes. He does it in his loincloth, too. So, you

01:20:58.470 --> 01:21:01.010
know, if he's doing his feet, you may want to

01:21:01.010 --> 01:21:05.010
look the other way. You know, so. Might be a

01:21:05.010 --> 01:21:07.720
good idea. yeah yeah so he embroidered jeffy

01:21:07.720 --> 01:21:10.539
x some embroidered underwear on the front it

01:21:10.539 --> 01:21:13.819
had x on the back it has jeffy and uh he also

01:21:13.819 --> 01:21:17.420
made him a flying bat suit and he's soon to have

01:21:17.420 --> 01:21:20.260
seven sergeant sergeant peppers outfits because

01:21:20.260 --> 01:21:23.560
jeffy x is a huge beatles fan so rob made him

01:21:23.560 --> 01:21:27.180
um a sergeant peppers outfit and the thing is

01:21:27.180 --> 01:21:29.619
is uh he will never take it off so it's black

01:21:29.619 --> 01:21:34.739
now and smells horrible so rob Oh, I know. So

01:21:34.739 --> 01:21:37.359
Rob for Christmas made him seven. So he has one

01:21:37.359 --> 01:21:39.380
for each day of the week so it can all be cleaned

01:21:39.380 --> 01:21:42.060
and he can wear a different one every day. So

01:21:42.060 --> 01:21:44.819
he'll be okay in that Sgt. Pepper's outfit. And

01:21:44.819 --> 01:21:48.199
as far as the embroidered underwear, Rob was

01:21:48.199 --> 01:21:52.140
nice enough to put a Stephen Piercy pouch. Stephen

01:21:52.140 --> 01:21:55.760
Piercy of the Glam Band Rat supposedly used to

01:21:55.760 --> 01:21:58.939
put a pouch sewn inside his spandex so he could

01:21:58.939 --> 01:22:00.920
throw a couple of socks in there and look better

01:22:00.920 --> 01:22:04.449
to females and maybe some gay males. So, Rob

01:22:04.449 --> 01:22:06.970
was nice enough. We're sure Jeffy X doesn't need

01:22:06.970 --> 01:22:10.250
it, but Rob did it just in case. So, here are

01:22:10.250 --> 01:22:13.850
the Jeffy X tours that failed. The first one

01:22:13.850 --> 01:22:21.069
was a tour at Chernobyl. I think I would too.

01:22:21.250 --> 01:22:24.109
I'd probably wear a suit. I'd wear a radiation

01:22:24.109 --> 01:22:27.050
suit, but I would love to see that. They say

01:22:27.050 --> 01:22:33.880
it's horrible. Yeah, yeah. weren't they bluish

01:22:33.880 --> 01:22:37.380
or something okay they're mutating yeah yeah

01:22:37.380 --> 01:22:39.720
they're bluish i thought you did the report yeah

01:22:39.720 --> 01:22:42.960
didn't you do the report on him being blue yes

01:22:42.960 --> 01:22:46.000
i did okay well i don't want to be blue i don't

01:22:46.000 --> 01:22:47.920
want to be smurf looking so i will wear a suit

01:22:47.920 --> 01:22:52.300
so the next one is a sewage treatment plant for

01:22:52.300 --> 01:22:57.260
new york city yeah i don't i don't want to see

01:22:57.260 --> 01:23:00.619
a bunch of turds do you If I want to see turds,

01:23:00.619 --> 01:23:03.100
I'll just drive down Kansas City. They're everywhere.

01:23:03.979 --> 01:23:07.340
Yeah. Yeah, so. All right. The Burned Out Branch

01:23:07.340 --> 01:23:11.380
Davidian Compound Tour. Hey, now that would be

01:23:11.380 --> 01:23:15.119
cool. Yeah, yeah. I mean, other than the fact

01:23:15.119 --> 01:23:18.319
that so many children and innocent people died,

01:23:18.439 --> 01:23:21.319
but other than that, it would be cool to watch.

01:23:21.460 --> 01:23:23.539
It would be cool to go see. Hey, we could do

01:23:23.539 --> 01:23:27.399
a paranormal show. Ooh, yeah, that's right. Yeah,

01:23:27.439 --> 01:23:32.000
we can ask if Janet Reno really sent the firebombing

01:23:32.000 --> 01:23:36.479
in or not. Supposedly, supposedly, I don't know

01:23:36.479 --> 01:23:39.960
for sure, but that was the word on the street

01:23:39.960 --> 01:23:43.340
was the government started the fire and not David

01:23:43.340 --> 01:23:46.960
Koresh. But who knows? Don't know if that's true

01:23:46.960 --> 01:23:49.079
or not. Don't have any information either way.

01:23:49.340 --> 01:23:55.590
So the active landfill tour failed. I don't know.

01:23:55.649 --> 01:23:58.289
I like to see big machinery throwing trash around,

01:23:58.430 --> 01:24:04.409
don't you? Yeah, I think I'd like that. The next

01:24:04.409 --> 01:24:07.250
one is a live volcano tour. Well, that depends

01:24:07.250 --> 01:24:09.210
on where you go see the volcano at. If you're

01:24:09.210 --> 01:24:10.970
right in it, no. If you're right next to it,

01:24:11.050 --> 01:24:12.850
no. But if you're like a few miles away where

01:24:12.850 --> 01:24:17.750
it can't get you, that'd be awesome, right? Okay,

01:24:20.970 --> 01:24:23.369
then no. No, I would not be a fan of that either.

01:24:24.810 --> 01:24:29.369
I can see why they flopped. The next one is bankruptcy

01:24:29.369 --> 01:24:34.449
court tour. You know, unless it's an insurance

01:24:34.449 --> 01:24:39.010
company, I don't really care. Yeah, me either.

01:24:39.130 --> 01:24:46.170
Yeah, so. Or a politician. Same thing. All right.

01:24:46.250 --> 01:24:50.130
All right. The next one is a San Quentin maximum

01:24:50.130 --> 01:24:56.319
security prison tour. Yeah, hell yeah. As long

01:24:56.319 --> 01:25:01.100
as you keep them away from us. You know. I want

01:25:01.100 --> 01:25:06.039
to see some famous people. Yeah. Yeah, well,

01:25:06.140 --> 01:25:08.560
Martha Stewart's out, so we can't see her. Plus,

01:25:08.619 --> 01:25:11.100
she wasn't in San Quentin. She wasn't in San

01:25:11.100 --> 01:25:16.520
Quentin anyhow. Yeah, sure. All right. Next one,

01:25:16.619 --> 01:25:18.819
a fat rendering plant tour. Now, I've been to

01:25:18.819 --> 01:25:23.329
one of those. Those things are horrid. So I can

01:25:23.329 --> 01:25:26.510
see how they take the fat and they melt it down

01:25:26.510 --> 01:25:30.609
to make, like, beauty products. Oh, yeah. Oh,

01:25:30.649 --> 01:25:35.369
it's nasty. Okay. And then a mosquito -infested

01:25:35.369 --> 01:25:39.130
swamp tour. I'd throw on some off and I'd go

01:25:39.130 --> 01:25:41.810
through that swamp, wouldn't you? Oh, yeah, definitely.

01:25:42.109 --> 01:25:46.109
Yeah. Yeah, hell yeah. I love the swamp tour

01:25:46.109 --> 01:25:48.829
we took in New Orleans. Actually, north of New

01:25:48.829 --> 01:25:52.550
Orleans. I forgot the name of it. Shit. Just

01:25:52.550 --> 01:25:55.729
on the other side of Lake Pontchartron, we went

01:25:55.729 --> 01:25:59.409
on a tour and we saw alligators and all kinds

01:25:59.409 --> 01:26:02.869
of, an alligator snapping turtle, which is bizarre.

01:26:03.909 --> 01:26:07.829
And also how they get the alligators are funny.

01:26:07.970 --> 01:26:09.750
I mean, it's really kind of mean. They throw

01:26:09.750 --> 01:26:11.630
marshmallows out. The alligators think they're

01:26:11.630 --> 01:26:15.569
eggs and they come up to eat them. So, all right.

01:26:15.930 --> 01:26:19.409
And then finally, a bovine slaughterhouse. i

01:26:19.409 --> 01:26:24.130
i think so i don't like i don't like things being

01:26:24.130 --> 01:26:26.689
slaughtered especially cows i like cows i grew

01:26:26.689 --> 01:26:29.449
up around them they all they have personalities

01:26:29.449 --> 01:26:32.689
they they are really charming animals they recognize

01:26:32.689 --> 01:26:35.890
you they love you and so it would be really hard

01:26:35.890 --> 01:26:38.390
for me to see one of those get slaughtered so

01:26:38.390 --> 01:26:43.149
even though i love beef so yeah so that's all

01:26:43.149 --> 01:26:46.819
jeffy x we thank you and um And me, I'm going

01:26:46.819 --> 01:26:48.359
to do like I always do. I'm going to give you

01:26:48.359 --> 01:26:51.319
$2 ,500, and you can spend it on hookers and

01:26:51.319 --> 01:26:54.539
blow or buy something for your mom. Your choice.

01:26:54.840 --> 01:27:03.340
Don't care. So, Rob. Hey. All right. Hey, it

01:27:03.340 --> 01:27:07.020
is the Christmas season. Are you hearing angels

01:27:07.020 --> 01:27:50.880
and arms? I am now. December 2020. Wow. But this

01:27:50.880 --> 01:27:56.420
year, things changed. Good. For the first time,

01:27:57.100 --> 01:28:03.939
Wham! hit number one with their 1984 holiday

01:28:03.939 --> 01:28:09.760
hit, Last Christmas. That is a great song. It

01:28:09.760 --> 01:28:12.880
is. Wham! George Michael does that so well too.

01:28:13.680 --> 01:28:16.479
Okay, I like it better than Mariah Carey's one,

01:28:16.560 --> 01:28:20.180
so yeah, I get it. That's interesting that Wham

01:28:20.180 --> 01:28:22.439
took it, though. I mean, from 1980 -something.

01:28:22.760 --> 01:28:28.239
Yeah, wow. Yeah. It's quite a feat for a song

01:28:28.239 --> 01:28:32.100
that came out more than 40 years ago. The saddest

01:28:32.100 --> 01:28:36.560
part is that late George Michael didn't see the

01:28:36.560 --> 01:28:41.479
success. He died on Christmas Day in 2016. That's

01:28:41.479 --> 01:28:44.229
right, yeah. Yep, he did. Heart attack, wasn't

01:28:44.229 --> 01:28:49.630
it? Yeah. Yeah, and he took frequent bathroom

01:28:49.630 --> 01:28:53.649
breaks. Look it up. Yeah. Yeah, anyhow, go ahead.

01:29:19.760 --> 01:29:25.039
Oh, the dork. The dork and wham. The other guy.

01:29:25.159 --> 01:29:27.260
The dork. The dark -haired guy that was goofy.

01:29:28.579 --> 01:29:34.239
Okay. George Michael was a blonde. He turned

01:29:34.239 --> 01:29:38.079
dark hair later. He was actually Greek. Yeah.

01:29:38.760 --> 01:29:41.579
What is it? Like George Papadopoulos or something

01:29:41.579 --> 01:29:43.140
like that. Papadopoulos or something like that.

01:29:43.220 --> 01:30:06.300
Anyhow, go ahead. Wow. I agree. It's time she

01:30:06.300 --> 01:30:11.720
has been taken down. Now, I'm glad. Facebook,

01:30:12.140 --> 01:30:15.920
man, Facebook, come on. Well, here's what's really

01:30:15.920 --> 01:30:19.720
cool is this right here. It was a really cool

01:30:19.720 --> 01:30:22.960
song that took it down. And it did deserve to

01:30:22.960 --> 01:30:25.920
be there. Yeah, last Christmas, I mean, George

01:30:25.920 --> 01:30:28.039
Michael does such a great job on that. I mean,

01:30:28.060 --> 01:30:31.060
it's just, it's a really good holiday song. And

01:30:31.060 --> 01:30:34.060
it's like, it's a rendition. that isn't exactly

01:30:34.060 --> 01:30:39.359
like the original, it's really good. Like I said,

01:30:39.579 --> 01:30:42.840
it originally came out 41 years ago, and here

01:30:42.840 --> 01:30:46.939
it is. Oh, yeah. And before that, it was a classic.

01:30:47.079 --> 01:30:52.619
This is 25, yeah, 45, 41 years. Very cool. Right

01:30:52.619 --> 01:30:55.760
on. Thank you, Rob. And I did hear angels and

01:30:55.760 --> 01:31:00.930
harps. Thank you. All right, I have a customer

01:31:00.930 --> 01:31:03.590
satisfaction from Food Incorporated Magazine.

01:31:04.010 --> 01:31:08.930
And this is the top seven or eight, I think it's

01:31:08.930 --> 01:31:12.409
seven. Yeah, the top seven customer satisfaction

01:31:12.409 --> 01:31:16.689
in fast food restaurants. And this is based on

01:31:16.689 --> 01:31:21.029
food consistency from store to store for taste,

01:31:21.050 --> 01:31:24.989
appearance, and quality. Okay, so the number

01:31:24.989 --> 01:31:28.550
seven is In -N -Out Burger. I think they should

01:31:28.550 --> 01:31:30.989
have been higher because In -N -Out Burger, every

01:31:30.989 --> 01:31:32.909
time I've had something from In -N -Out Burger,

01:31:33.090 --> 01:31:35.210
it's been exactly the same and it's been good.

01:31:35.609 --> 01:31:40.109
It's been really good. And some of the ones that

01:31:40.109 --> 01:31:42.930
are ahead of it, I have not had great success

01:31:42.930 --> 01:31:47.369
with them a lot of times. So true, I don't live

01:31:47.369 --> 01:31:49.409
around an In -N -Out Burger and I have to rely

01:31:49.409 --> 01:31:52.770
on vacations to go there. So there's lesser amount

01:31:52.770 --> 01:31:57.260
of... of time spent but i've never had a bad

01:31:57.260 --> 01:32:00.220
meal there it's always been almost exactly the

01:32:00.220 --> 01:32:03.159
same and the and the customer service is great

01:32:03.159 --> 01:32:06.119
they're friendly so i i thought that in and out

01:32:06.119 --> 01:32:07.840
should have been much higher if not number one

01:32:07.840 --> 01:32:11.340
but they're number seven number six i don't have

01:32:11.340 --> 01:32:14.539
very much experience with raising canes it's

01:32:14.539 --> 01:32:19.039
uh chicken fingers rob do you have any uh knowledge

01:32:19.039 --> 01:32:23.600
of them at all Okay, I couldn't tell you yay

01:32:23.600 --> 01:32:28.100
or nay. This next one I agree with because their

01:32:28.100 --> 01:32:31.079
coffee may be overrated, but they consistently

01:32:31.079 --> 01:32:36.180
have the best help, and that's Starbucks. Starbucks

01:32:36.180 --> 01:32:38.539
usually has energetic people that are happy to

01:32:38.539 --> 01:32:41.779
get you what you want. They're quick, efficient,

01:32:42.039 --> 01:32:45.579
and they're friendly. So I agree with that. I

01:32:45.579 --> 01:32:49.240
think Starbucks should be higher than five. So

01:32:49.240 --> 01:32:51.359
I'm just kind of surprised they call them fast

01:32:51.359 --> 01:32:53.720
food. But I guess they do have food, so they

01:32:53.720 --> 01:32:58.119
can. So, okay. Number four is Wendy's. I do not

01:32:58.119 --> 01:33:01.500
agree with that at all. If you go to a good Wendy's,

01:33:01.500 --> 01:33:03.600
it's great. If you go to a bad Wendy's, it's

01:33:03.600 --> 01:33:06.500
hell. And there are a lot of bad ones, in my

01:33:06.500 --> 01:33:10.000
opinion. So I don't agree with that at all. Number

01:33:10.000 --> 01:33:12.739
three, I agree with. That's Taco Bell. Even if

01:33:12.739 --> 01:33:14.840
you get a bad meal at Taco Bell, it's still good.

01:33:14.939 --> 01:33:16.380
You don't know if they messed it up, do you?

01:33:17.960 --> 01:33:20.500
No, it's the same thing. It's like, what have

01:33:20.500 --> 01:33:22.600
I got in here? What is this, an Enchirito? Okay,

01:33:22.680 --> 01:33:25.760
what is it? Meat, beans, and lettuce, and sauce,

01:33:25.899 --> 01:33:28.460
and tomatoes. Oh, okay, hey, I got a taco. What

01:33:28.460 --> 01:33:31.520
is it? Oh, it's meat, beans, tomatoes, and sauce.

01:33:32.420 --> 01:33:34.520
You really don't know if they screw your order

01:33:34.520 --> 01:33:39.079
up. You don't. But it's all good. It's not Mexican.

01:33:39.159 --> 01:33:40.659
It's something else. It's kind of like Olive

01:33:40.659 --> 01:33:41.979
Garden, you know. I don't think they're real

01:33:41.979 --> 01:33:46.729
Italian, but it's still great. um number two

01:33:46.729 --> 01:33:52.569
mcdonald's i could not i could not disagree with

01:33:52.569 --> 01:33:57.890
them more i i mcdonald's to me has become atrocious

01:33:57.890 --> 01:34:01.829
from the food quality to the help this is my

01:34:01.829 --> 01:34:05.210
opinion and what i've observed myself other people

01:34:05.210 --> 01:34:07.670
still love them i know a lot of people love them

01:34:07.670 --> 01:34:16.899
but what do you think rob Yeah, number one, the

01:34:16.899 --> 01:34:18.899
food never really appealed to me. Number two,

01:34:18.979 --> 01:34:21.300
anytime I've had them or had to have them, like

01:34:21.300 --> 01:34:24.380
in the morning sometimes, it's kind of like it's

01:34:24.380 --> 01:34:26.520
easier to just run by McDonald's and grab something.

01:34:27.560 --> 01:34:30.800
And they never get your order right, in my opinion,

01:34:30.840 --> 01:34:32.659
the ones that I go to. They never get it right.

01:34:32.760 --> 01:34:34.680
They're surly. They don't give a shit about you.

01:34:34.699 --> 01:34:39.420
They slam the door on you, the drive -thru door.

01:34:39.699 --> 01:34:42.060
And then I had that idiot that was afraid of

01:34:42.060 --> 01:34:45.380
the wind. Remember that? Yeah. Yeah. And you

01:34:45.380 --> 01:34:48.279
go, I can't, I can't. Here, here, reach out of

01:34:48.279 --> 01:34:50.380
your car and reach in here and get your money

01:34:50.380 --> 01:34:52.460
and your food because that wind, I can't deal

01:34:52.460 --> 01:34:55.380
with it. I about slapped him. I'm like, what

01:34:55.380 --> 01:34:57.000
the fuck are you going to do if something really

01:34:57.000 --> 01:35:00.039
goes down? You're afraid of the wind. What if

01:35:00.039 --> 01:35:02.739
a fucking war breaks out and people are getting

01:35:02.739 --> 01:35:05.060
ready to come kill you? I can't go out there.

01:35:05.140 --> 01:35:06.779
They got to kill me. I'm afraid of the wind.

01:35:07.260 --> 01:35:10.520
That, that person right there is the first one

01:35:10.520 --> 01:35:14.260
killed, the first one eaten. I mean, I should

01:35:14.260 --> 01:35:17.479
put him on the new segment. You might be a pussy

01:35:17.479 --> 01:35:23.000
if. If you're afraid of the wind, right? All

01:35:23.000 --> 01:35:25.359
right. Number one is Chick -fil -A and they do

01:35:25.359 --> 01:35:27.439
have great customer service. Their food to me

01:35:27.439 --> 01:35:30.220
is overrated, but their service and their food

01:35:30.220 --> 01:35:32.819
is always exactly the same. So if you really

01:35:32.819 --> 01:35:36.539
like their food, it could be number one easily.

01:35:36.899 --> 01:35:39.659
But to me, I would put In -N -Out Burger and

01:35:39.659 --> 01:35:42.489
I would put Starbucks ahead of them. with Taco

01:35:42.489 --> 01:35:44.869
Bell at a third solid. And I don't know about

01:35:44.869 --> 01:35:48.250
Raising Cane's. So, all right. Rob, do you have

01:35:48.250 --> 01:35:52.970
something? Yeah, I do. Okay, cool. Do you want

01:35:52.970 --> 01:35:56.890
to bash off Logan Paul a little bit? Yeah, like

01:35:56.890 --> 01:36:02.829
the boxer did? Go ahead. Yeah. I just had a little

01:36:02.829 --> 01:36:14.149
story after that. Was that not cute? Do you see

01:36:14.149 --> 01:36:16.069
the stills of his face when he's getting his

01:36:16.069 --> 01:36:19.409
ass kicked? Oh, my God, yeah. I watched the video.

01:36:21.289 --> 01:36:25.829
He looks... He's got this look of confused, dazed,

01:36:25.829 --> 01:36:28.970
like, what the hell did I just get into? This

01:36:28.970 --> 01:36:31.449
guy is not playing around. This guy isn't a Mike

01:36:31.449 --> 01:36:34.270
Tyson or anybody like that. He was trying to

01:36:34.270 --> 01:36:36.869
fight Butterbean. Also, it was supposed to be

01:36:36.869 --> 01:36:49.060
another Expedition match. But... I loved it.

01:36:49.079 --> 01:36:54.220
I loved every second of it. Yeah, and he's got

01:36:54.220 --> 01:37:27.779
a broken jaw. Oh! No, he's not going to be fighting

01:37:27.779 --> 01:37:33.359
in 30 days. He's probably never going to box

01:37:33.359 --> 01:37:38.979
again, but he's making like $96 million. He's

01:37:38.979 --> 01:37:43.180
made the most out of nothing. I have to commend

01:37:43.180 --> 01:37:45.180
him on that. He found a niche of something he's

01:37:45.180 --> 01:37:52.880
not really good at. He is done with it. I mean,

01:37:52.880 --> 01:37:55.520
he didn't just get his ass whipped. I mean, he,

01:37:55.659 --> 01:38:00.939
what would you call it? Extraordinary. Yeah.

01:38:01.439 --> 01:38:03.960
It's going to be hard to get another match after

01:38:03.960 --> 01:38:06.399
having your jaw, like, broke like that. Well,

01:38:06.399 --> 01:38:09.939
yeah, no one's going to want to fight you. You're

01:38:09.939 --> 01:38:13.220
too high chance. Too much of a liability, man.

01:38:13.359 --> 01:38:15.680
Yeah, people don't want to do that. You crack

01:38:15.680 --> 01:38:17.699
his jaw and ruin it. You don't want to be the

01:38:17.699 --> 01:38:20.000
guy that did that. Yeah, he's going to find a

01:38:20.000 --> 01:38:22.699
hard time finding legitimate people to fight.

01:38:25.039 --> 01:38:31.539
I think he needs to write a book. A tell -all

01:38:31.539 --> 01:38:33.619
on how this stuff came about. I would love to

01:38:33.619 --> 01:38:36.039
know how they figured this stuff out and how

01:38:36.039 --> 01:38:38.100
it was going to go down, whether it was scripted

01:38:38.100 --> 01:38:40.539
or not, and all of this. Because the Mike Tyson

01:38:40.539 --> 01:38:43.479
one looks so scripted to me. It may not have

01:38:43.479 --> 01:38:48.380
been, but... You're close. I mean, I know Mike

01:38:48.380 --> 01:38:50.180
Tyson's closing in on 60. You're close to my

01:38:50.180 --> 01:38:55.180
story. Oh, oh, go ahead. I'm sorry. No, no, no.

01:38:55.399 --> 01:38:59.359
We were talking. Go ahead. Oh. Yeah, I'm the

01:38:59.359 --> 01:39:03.659
same way. I'd like to know all that. I would

01:39:03.659 --> 01:39:05.699
love to know that, and I think a book would be

01:39:05.699 --> 01:39:08.039
in order, because I'm like you. I don't think

01:39:08.039 --> 01:39:10.920
he's boxing again. One way or another, I don't

01:39:10.920 --> 01:39:20.739
think he's boxing again. Yeah, I mean, you could

01:39:20.739 --> 01:39:24.140
practically spit on his jaw now and break it.

01:39:24.199 --> 01:39:29.819
So, yeah, nobody wants to deal with that. Okay,

01:39:29.899 --> 01:40:52.100
well, anyway. Okay. Okay. Mm -hmm. Wow. Hmm.

01:41:22.670 --> 01:41:25.069
I think so, too. I think that's a book that I

01:41:25.069 --> 01:41:27.529
would look for. And that's interesting that the

01:41:27.529 --> 01:41:29.829
second part of the story was a book because that's

01:41:29.829 --> 01:41:32.409
what I wanted Paul to do, Jake Paul to do. Yeah,

01:41:32.409 --> 01:41:36.390
yeah. And this is their mom. I think that's something

01:41:36.390 --> 01:41:38.210
that I would like to read. I think I'll probably

01:41:38.210 --> 01:41:41.770
get that. Yeah, it's about raising the boys and

01:41:41.770 --> 01:41:44.729
how much trouble they got into and shit. I could

01:41:44.729 --> 01:41:47.869
see that a mile away, couldn't you? Oh, yeah.

01:41:49.829 --> 01:41:53.199
Wow. Well, I... I got a story here I'd like to

01:41:53.199 --> 01:41:56.079
cover while we're here. And then after that,

01:41:56.140 --> 01:41:58.000
if you want to go on, that's fine with me. If

01:41:58.000 --> 01:42:00.659
you have other stuff to do, I understand. So,

01:42:00.699 --> 01:42:04.140
all right. We've been harping about DoorDash

01:42:04.140 --> 01:42:06.220
and Uber Eats for a while now, including last

01:42:06.220 --> 01:42:08.439
show's story about the guy that picked up a chicken

01:42:08.439 --> 01:42:10.840
wing from the ground and put it back in the bag.

01:42:11.420 --> 01:42:15.520
Right? Yeah. Like I stated before, if I can't

01:42:15.520 --> 01:42:18.569
get my own food, I don't need it. So, a food

01:42:18.569 --> 01:42:20.770
delivery driver is accused of dropping off an

01:42:20.770 --> 01:42:22.970
Arby's bag and spraying pepper spray towards

01:42:22.970 --> 01:42:25.609
it. It happened in northern Vanderburg County.

01:42:26.189 --> 01:42:29.649
It was just past midnight on December 7th when

01:42:29.649 --> 01:42:32.789
Mark Cardin and his wife decided to order DoorDash.

01:42:33.270 --> 01:42:35.649
It didn't take them long to realize something

01:42:35.649 --> 01:42:38.149
was wrong with their food. I noticed my wife

01:42:38.149 --> 01:42:40.090
had started eating and she started choking and

01:42:40.090 --> 01:42:42.529
gasping. And after she had a couple of bites

01:42:42.529 --> 01:42:44.710
of her food, she actually threw up, Mark said.

01:42:44.949 --> 01:42:47.520
Mark started to investigate. I had to look at

01:42:47.520 --> 01:42:49.399
the bag, and I seen that there was some kind

01:42:49.399 --> 01:42:52.439
of spray or something, he said. The bag had been

01:42:52.439 --> 01:42:54.819
tampered with, so I pulled up my doorbell camera

01:42:54.819 --> 01:42:57.140
and seen that the lady who dropped the food off

01:42:57.140 --> 01:42:59.159
actually tampered with it on purpose for some

01:42:59.159 --> 01:43:01.880
reason. The driver has not been arraigned yet,

01:43:01.899 --> 01:43:10.119
but will be soon. Wow. I'll tell you what, there's

01:43:10.119 --> 01:43:12.340
probably some laws that cover that, but it's

01:43:12.340 --> 01:43:15.439
probably not enough. That person right there,

01:43:17.580 --> 01:43:21.539
deserves a lengthy jail sentence for that. That

01:43:21.539 --> 01:43:23.359
shit right there, I mean, she could have killed

01:43:23.359 --> 01:43:28.140
him. She could have killed him, for real. Because

01:43:28.140 --> 01:43:29.960
a lot of people can't handle that, especially

01:43:29.960 --> 01:43:36.659
in their system like that. So, interesting, and

01:43:36.659 --> 01:43:38.340
nobody knows why she did it. I mean, you know,

01:43:38.380 --> 01:43:40.220
they didn't do anything to her. They left a tip,

01:43:40.300 --> 01:43:42.500
they said. So I don't know why, no one knows

01:43:42.500 --> 01:43:46.960
why she did it. So, I mean, you'd think being

01:43:46.960 --> 01:43:49.199
in a business like that, you'd want your clientele

01:43:49.199 --> 01:43:55.619
to be happy and alive. So, I don't know. So,

01:43:55.659 --> 01:43:57.560
that's the end of that story. So, Rob, you got

01:43:57.560 --> 01:44:00.699
anything or you want to shut this down? Well,

01:44:00.880 --> 01:44:04.260
seeing how I got to be on the road like 10 and

01:44:04.260 --> 01:44:06.380
a half hours and it didn't sell some springs,

01:44:06.560 --> 01:44:09.140
I think I want to get shut down. Understandable.

01:44:09.739 --> 01:44:19.289
All right. So is our next show going to be on

01:44:19.289 --> 01:44:21.869
Christmas night? Is that what you said? Well,

01:44:21.869 --> 01:44:25.529
that's what I was going to talk to you about.

01:44:25.770 --> 01:44:29.109
Okay. I talk to my kids. My daughter has to work

01:44:29.109 --> 01:44:33.130
until 4 until Christmas, 10 to 4 Christmas. Okay.

01:44:33.149 --> 01:44:35.770
So we're going to do our Christmas about 5 or

01:44:35.770 --> 01:44:39.029
6 Christmas night. Okay. So would you be all

01:44:39.029 --> 01:44:41.489
right with Friday night? Yeah. Yeah, I could

01:44:41.489 --> 01:44:53.119
do that. Okay. That's fine. That will give me

01:44:53.119 --> 01:44:55.460
time to process three shows that I have right

01:44:55.460 --> 01:44:58.539
now that is going to need to be edited and processed

01:44:58.539 --> 01:45:01.500
and put up. So yeah, that's fine. Friday is perfect.

01:45:01.920 --> 01:45:05.479
So cool. Yep. And also I got to get to my emails

01:45:05.479 --> 01:45:08.460
again because it kicked me off of my password

01:45:08.460 --> 01:45:10.739
again and I keep trying to change it, but it

01:45:10.739 --> 01:45:14.239
sends it to my old email address that doesn't

01:45:14.239 --> 01:45:17.020
exist anymore. So I got to figure something else

01:45:17.020 --> 01:45:18.939
out. I got these ones, and then after that, it

01:45:18.939 --> 01:45:20.720
shut up on me. It closed down. I know there's

01:45:20.720 --> 01:45:22.779
a way to do it, but I'll get it figured out.

01:45:22.859 --> 01:45:25.340
That'll give me time to figure out. Keep sending

01:45:25.340 --> 01:45:28.420
your emails in. It's not shut down. I just got

01:45:28.420 --> 01:45:32.079
to get into it. So anyhow, everybody, thank you

01:45:32.079 --> 01:45:35.420
for listening. Have a good night, assholes, and

01:45:35.420 --> 01:45:38.260
Merry Christmas. So the next time we talk to

01:45:38.260 --> 01:45:39.800
you will be after Christmas. Everybody have a

01:45:39.800 --> 01:45:42.500
Merry Christmas. And don't forget, don't forget

01:45:42.500 --> 01:45:46.630
why we celebrate Christmas. That's all I got

01:45:46.630 --> 01:45:48.949
with that. So enjoy what you have. Love what

01:45:48.949 --> 01:45:51.729
you have. Love the people around you while they're

01:45:51.729 --> 01:45:54.369
here because someday all that's going to change.

01:45:54.810 --> 01:45:57.489
Not trying to be sappy. I've had a lot of people

01:45:57.489 --> 01:46:00.850
die around me this year. So please enjoy every

01:46:00.850 --> 01:46:03.630
second. Don't live in the past. Don't live in

01:46:03.630 --> 01:46:06.550
the future. Live right now and enjoy everything

01:46:06.550 --> 01:46:09.350
around you. I love every one of you guys. Thank

01:46:09.350 --> 01:46:27.479
you for listening. We are douchebags. Merry Christmas,

01:46:27.479 --> 01:46:30.260
everybody. Merry Christmas. We are douchebags,

01:46:30.340 --> 01:46:33.539
but we do love you guys. So please be careful,

01:46:33.640 --> 01:46:37.340
and we will meet you again on this same whatever

01:46:37.340 --> 01:46:40.720
you listen to us on. So thank you very much.

01:46:40.840 --> 01:46:46.199
Good night, assholes. Good night, assholes. Oh,

01:46:46.220 --> 01:46:49.420
no. Looks like the show's over, kids. Mark has

01:46:49.420 --> 01:46:52.239
explosive diarrhea and can't afford a wireless

01:46:52.239 --> 01:46:55.899
mic. Fear not, assholes. They'll be back invading

01:46:55.899 --> 01:46:56.840
your ear holes soon.