WEBVTT

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Welcome again. We're happy you chose us. Come

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on in. Wash yourself off. Would you enjoy a bourbon

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and coke? There's a liquor store down the road.

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If you go, I need rolling papers. Well, since

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you're here, let's get this daily douchebag pledge

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out of the way. All right, bitches, swing your

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hips and pelvic thrust. Shout it out with me.

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I, Joe or Jane Listener, promise to download

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every podcast. I, Joe or Jane Listener, promise

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to make... All friends, family members, and workmates

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download the show. I, Joe or Jane Listener, promise

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to grab idle computers, work computers, friends

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computers, community computers, and other assorted

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phones and listening devices and download the

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show from there. I, Joe or Jane Listener, will

00:01:21.670 --> 00:01:24.329
download the show and constantly barrage everyone

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with show name and platforms. I, Joe or Jane

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Listener, promise to wear a chicken costume and

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screen the show's name from my front yard. And

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finally, because of our 13 -year -old boy humor,

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you must go to Knobloch Cooter Licking in Uranus,

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Missouri to take selfies with the signs. If you

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go to Uranus, go to the fudge factory. Yes, there's

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a fudge factory in Uranus. No joke. Here at Two

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Douchebags and a Microphone, we don't stand behind

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our journalistic integrity. Go ahead and assume

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we got the story wrong. At least we admit it.

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Not like all those other guys. We can and will

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lie if it makes the story better. Two douchebags

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and a microphone. Great news, assholes. You can

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now email the douches anytime, anywhere. In the

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middle of a job interview. No big deal. Take

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it a bath. No problems there. Tap dancing. Easy

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as pie. Just send it to 2douches at mail .com.

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Do it now, pussies, or I'll smash you in the

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junk. Since the dawn of time, weird shit has

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happened. Strange occurrences, unexplained phobias,

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and other odd happenings. Over the next minute,

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we would like to bring you odd, rare phobias

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and conditions. Perry Romberg syndrome. Cause

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is unknown, no known cure, and extremely rare.

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Parts of the face slowly wither. Over years,

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muscles, skin, even bones shrink on one side

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of the face, causing disfigurement when it stops

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progressing. Hey, good kid, no one gives an ounce

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of shit what you had for breakfast. Not even

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the person on the other end. You look like a

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mentally slow driv yelling into thin air all

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through the store. I pray that Bluetooth shorts

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you out and blows up your eardrums. What men

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consider self -centered dunce. Monty constantly

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coddled this dummy and it fucking shows. Go look

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back home and bore your dog. Wait, you probably

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forgot the theming because you're too busy looking

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in the mirror all day. Fuck off. And now, Deep

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Thoughts with Mark. Hmm. Does a straw have one

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hole? Or does it have two? Hmm. I may never know.

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Hello, this is Satan. You might know me from

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my pet name, Inflation. I'm here to tell you

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that there's no better way to relax than listen

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to two douchebags in microphone by a nice warm

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fire at night. I sit there and I reflect on all

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the souls I burned that day. Enjoy. People often

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ask, how do we cram so much funny into one little

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show? Well, it's simple. We buy funny in bulk

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on the Internet. Hey, Mark, you're wanted at

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the front door. There's a big bag of funny they

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need you to sign for. Okay, thanks a lot. I'll

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be right there. I'm still sorting out the funny

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we got from yesterday. There's your answer. We

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buy funny in bulk on the Internet. Jam X. What

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the hell happened? You were the generation of

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change. You never wanted to be one of them. Apathy

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spoke for you. Fuck the man. Fuck the system.

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What the hell happened? The generation of angst?

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The generation of noncompliance? Is now buying

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a boat? You're really fed up to kill someone

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who dangled a dollar near you. Great job, Xers.

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Everything's ruined. This is Two Douchebags and

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a Microphone. We are a podcast that originates

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out of Kansas City, Missouri and Wheatland, Missouri.

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My name is Mark and I am at the Talk is Cheap

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studio and I like to make goat noises. Well,

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I had some stuff happen on the last podcast,

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me and Topher's, right? So I'm going to go into

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a little opinion and then tell you about something

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else, okay, about this. This is my opinion only.

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I spoke about the lady that hit my Jeep at a

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Whataburger parking lot a few months back, right?

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Remember that? And in my opinion, American Family

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was horrible to deal with. wanted to and they

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wouldn't listen to anything else and they were

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trying they wanted me to get footage from the

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camera which is almost impossible to do and then

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dealing with overland park police department

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they never answered me back so in my opinion

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the whole thing To me, it was just like, oh,

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who fucking cares? I mean, I'm sorry, but I mean,

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to me, the Overland Park Police Department did

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not even bother to call me back. And that pissed

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me off. I'll tell you that right there. So anyhow,

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there wasn't anything I could do about it. No

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footage. And the ladies just pretty much, the

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adjusters, just like, well, this is what you're

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getting. We determined that this is a damage.

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And I'm like, well, you didn't have anyone look

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at it. When the guy that I had look at it at

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the Gerber collision said it did all of this

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other stuff. And I said, well, how do you get

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that? Well, we had our person look at it here.

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And I'm like, those are pictures. You're not

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here. And she wouldn't listen to it at all. So

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to me, I don't like that. I don't like that company

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at all. And I think, in my opinion, they did

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me wrong. So anyhow, well, I was hit again, this

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time at the city market during a podcast. Yes.

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As a matter of fact, I think it's on the Music

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Creeps. I've already released the Sports Bastards.

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But on the Music Creeps, we're doing our podcast

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and this guy walks up and he goes, hey, hey,

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we noticed that they pulled in and then they

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pulled their truck out right behind my Jeep and

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just sat there. And I even said something during

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the podcast. I go, hey, Topher, I go, look. I

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go, look at the way that person's parking. I

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go, that's stupid. And then he walks up, he goes,

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hey, does anyone know who's that black Jeep is?

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uh it's mine well i just hit it oh fuck so i'm

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like all right so we pulled the we pulled the

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podcast over right so we go over there and uh

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go over there and uh he gives me a very nice

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guy he didn't have to say anything very nice

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guy And he was working for a company. So he showed

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me the damage. He said he was sorry. He didn't

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mean to. I'm like, dude, accidents happen. I

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go, I commend you for finding me. I said, you

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could have drove off. He goes, I know. He goes,

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I'm not like that. I go, neither am I. Thank

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you very much. So he gave me his insurance affirmation.

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I gave him mine. So this is the Hartford. And

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I dealt with them. And it was easy as pie. They

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took the word. of the collision company gerber

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collision company they took their word on what

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happened and i told him i said i can't do it

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right now i have too much stuff going on for

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christmas and all that and he said and the adjuster

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he goes all right he goes i'm going to mail you

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a check for what they're asking for to do the

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repairs he said when you need a rental give me

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a call back and i will set you up just like that

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I'll tell you what. To me, my opinion, Hartford

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is a good company. Hartford? Hartford Insurance.

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Hartford, like Hartford, Connecticut. Hartford

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Insurance. Yeah, they did a great job. And to

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me, my opinion, my opinion only, American Family

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is trash. So, anyhow, okay. Rob, would you say

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you and I both did okay in life so far? Not the

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most successful, but not even close to a failure?

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You know, we both live well and really... Yeah,

00:10:03.259 --> 00:10:07.259
I've survived. My bills have been paid. Yep,

00:10:07.259 --> 00:10:13.220
you eat every day. I've raised my kids. I'm doing

00:10:13.220 --> 00:10:15.480
all right. Yeah, the same here. You know, we

00:10:15.480 --> 00:10:18.759
both live well and really want for nothing. So,

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I'm going to offer you this, Rob. Now, listen

00:10:21.759 --> 00:10:26.100
to this. Teenage binge drinkers earn more money

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and success later in life, a new study reveals.

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You get connecting the dots here? Are we connecting

00:10:35.860 --> 00:10:41.299
the dots? Yeah, right there. Binge drinking might

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not be the recipe for failure that it's portrayed

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as in popular media. Recent studies have shown

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that heavy boozing during one's youth could improve

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one's chances of success later in life. Well,

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that explains it. That's why I led off with this.

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I was like, oh my God, this is gold. This is

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gold. In his new book, The Beauty and Pain of

00:11:06.659 --> 00:11:11.259
Drugs, Norwegian sociologist Willie Peterson

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of the University of Oslo argues that communal

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drinking when young could help ease inhibitions

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by acting at a social lubricant, the Times of

00:11:21.840 --> 00:11:25.240
London reported. In turn, this helps advance

00:11:25.240 --> 00:11:28.789
the liquor -loving careers faster. than those

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of their socially more sober counterparts. And

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I do believe that, right? It makes you more adjusted

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to social situations. It actually brings you

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to networking. Only you don't realize it at the

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time. You go to a party, you meet this person,

00:11:44.240 --> 00:11:47.179
this person, this person, okay? And then somebody

00:11:47.179 --> 00:11:49.500
you meet at a party says, you know, hey, I work

00:11:49.500 --> 00:11:51.740
on transmissions. Well, the old Monte Carlo,

00:11:51.899 --> 00:11:53.419
something's going wrong. It won't shift right,

00:11:53.559 --> 00:11:56.480
okay? Hey, you know, whoever you're hanging out

00:11:56.480 --> 00:11:59.019
with, do you have that guy's number that works

00:11:59.019 --> 00:12:00.919
on transmissions? Oh, yeah, yeah, Jimmy. Yeah,

00:12:01.000 --> 00:12:05.720
yeah, yeah. Could you call him and ask him if

00:12:05.720 --> 00:12:07.700
he'll call me because I have a transmission problem.

00:12:07.820 --> 00:12:09.740
I'll pay him to fix it. You know, we're networked.

00:12:09.769 --> 00:12:13.110
back then like that right we always knew somebody

00:12:13.110 --> 00:12:15.909
that could do this or that or whatever but it

00:12:15.909 --> 00:12:19.029
was networking at a primitive level but we you

00:12:19.029 --> 00:12:21.450
know we didn't have any idea we're doing it so

00:12:21.450 --> 00:12:25.450
i think that is one of the explanations um so

00:12:25.450 --> 00:12:27.769
i don't quite believe all of the explanation

00:12:27.769 --> 00:12:30.070
though i believe the binge part of drinking is

00:12:30.070 --> 00:12:33.830
an obsessive trait also well yeah go ahead uh

00:12:33.830 --> 00:12:43.490
-huh You're right. Because those that do drink,

00:12:43.690 --> 00:12:46.389
they may watch it when they're younger, but they

00:12:46.389 --> 00:12:49.870
start drinking heavier when they're older. You

00:12:49.870 --> 00:12:51.870
know, there's a lot... We start over early and

00:12:51.870 --> 00:12:54.950
we start lighting off, so we start sparking it

00:12:54.950 --> 00:12:58.789
up. Well, I was never afraid of alcohol. That's

00:12:58.789 --> 00:13:01.730
what I'm thinking. Okay, here's another thing

00:13:01.730 --> 00:13:04.169
I could interject to, and I just thought of this.

00:13:04.730 --> 00:13:07.750
I was exposed to alcohol at an early age because,

00:13:07.830 --> 00:13:10.490
like everyone knows, it was a soup podcast. I

00:13:10.490 --> 00:13:14.350
lived in Greece. Well, over there, it's okay

00:13:14.350 --> 00:13:17.769
to give the children wine because the water isn't

00:13:17.769 --> 00:13:22.450
that good. So, it's customary. Children and grown

00:13:22.450 --> 00:13:24.830
-ups can all drink wine. They won't let you drink

00:13:24.830 --> 00:13:28.409
30 glasses, right? They'll let you have a small

00:13:28.409 --> 00:13:33.129
glass of wine with dinner. I was subject to that

00:13:33.129 --> 00:13:36.399
at an early age. So I don't believe when I was

00:13:36.399 --> 00:13:38.580
drinking, I thought anything about it. Where

00:13:38.580 --> 00:13:40.620
other people, they're hanging out at the liquor

00:13:40.620 --> 00:13:43.519
store, and they get like a 12 -pack from somebody,

00:13:43.580 --> 00:13:45.179
you know, an older guy that bought it for them

00:13:45.179 --> 00:13:47.279
for a couple of bucks, right? Okay, and they're

00:13:47.279 --> 00:13:49.639
like, oh my God, I got alcohol. And me, I'm like,

00:13:49.659 --> 00:13:51.779
oh, okay, cool, all right. Well, I'm going to

00:13:51.779 --> 00:13:54.360
try this new stuff. I have wine. What is this,

00:13:54.399 --> 00:13:56.919
beer? Okay, I'll give it a try. You know what

00:13:56.919 --> 00:13:59.700
I mean? So I think that has something to do with

00:13:59.700 --> 00:14:19.990
it. I started in the 70s and 80s. Okay, maybe.

00:14:20.769 --> 00:14:27.330
Well, I was giving drinks at a young age. It

00:14:27.330 --> 00:14:32.090
was the 70s, you know? I was like 10, and I was

00:14:32.090 --> 00:14:51.059
drinking. My dad didn't drink. Well, you knew

00:14:51.059 --> 00:14:53.820
he was a health food nut. Todd tried to teach

00:14:53.820 --> 00:14:56.860
me a lesson one Halloween. Oh, my God, that was

00:14:56.860 --> 00:15:03.700
a good time. Excellent. And here we are today.

00:15:04.500 --> 00:15:07.240
Yes, we are. My dad didn't drink, so I could

00:15:07.240 --> 00:15:09.519
find nothing around the house. You know, he was

00:15:09.519 --> 00:15:11.679
a health food nut. We spoke about that before,

00:15:11.820 --> 00:15:14.580
and he would not allow. You remember, I mean,

00:15:14.580 --> 00:15:16.340
we couldn't even have potato chips in the house,

00:15:16.340 --> 00:15:19.210
and he'd flip out. Right. So, yeah, so we couldn't

00:15:19.210 --> 00:15:21.389
have alcohol in the house either, so it all...

00:15:21.389 --> 00:15:27.490
You see, I had a neighbor that had a liquor cabinet.

00:15:30.309 --> 00:16:02.970
Uh -huh. Okay, and one more thing I'd like to

00:16:02.970 --> 00:16:08.830
add to this, okay, is... Okay, you were indoctrinated

00:16:08.830 --> 00:16:18.529
pretty early. Well, I never did... Yeah, because

00:16:18.529 --> 00:16:20.919
you did it all. I also think that this is an

00:16:20.919 --> 00:16:23.200
element too, and correct me if you think I'm

00:16:23.200 --> 00:16:27.460
wrong, slightly wrong, or dead on. Okay, the

00:16:27.460 --> 00:16:30.000
binge drinking part of it also parlays into other

00:16:30.000 --> 00:16:33.000
parts of your life, right? To where you focus

00:16:33.000 --> 00:16:36.019
in on something well, and you can get the task

00:16:36.019 --> 00:16:39.600
done because you are dedicated to it, right?

00:16:39.980 --> 00:16:43.399
So in other words, not maybe not obsessed, but

00:16:43.399 --> 00:16:46.440
kind of like a binge thing. You make sure that

00:16:46.440 --> 00:16:48.159
you're really good at whatever it is you want

00:16:48.159 --> 00:16:52.299
to do. Right? Yes. And I think that that's part

00:16:52.299 --> 00:16:54.960
of our personalities when we were binge drinking

00:16:54.960 --> 00:16:56.820
when we were younger. I think that's just part

00:16:56.820 --> 00:16:59.299
of our personalities. Even when we were binge

00:16:59.299 --> 00:17:03.860
drinking, we still held jobs. Yeah. We made our

00:17:03.860 --> 00:17:06.940
own way, you know? Yeah, exactly. And that's

00:17:06.940 --> 00:17:08.039
a great point right there. And that's the way

00:17:08.039 --> 00:17:14.259
we were taught. Yep. Yeah, I 100 % agree. All

00:17:14.259 --> 00:17:18.559
right. Cool. All right. Rob, would you eat pudding

00:17:18.559 --> 00:17:27.940
with a fork? That would be a pie, wouldn't it?

00:17:28.559 --> 00:17:30.640
Well, I'm going somewhere with this, of course.

00:17:30.660 --> 00:17:35.299
That's why. I don't know. Okay. Gen Z has pudding

00:17:35.299 --> 00:17:39.420
parties or Pudding McGabelle, which... Which

00:17:39.420 --> 00:17:41.539
means pudding with a fork, I think in French,

00:17:41.640 --> 00:17:43.700
I'm not for sure. One of those fucking languages.

00:17:43.819 --> 00:17:46.819
All right, okay, whoever it is. And I don't mean

00:17:46.819 --> 00:17:50.440
that derogatory. Whatever language it is, that's

00:17:50.440 --> 00:17:52.779
what it is. All right, Google it if you want

00:17:52.779 --> 00:17:56.039
to know. Okay, so pudding with a fork are a viral

00:17:56.039 --> 00:17:59.380
absurd social trend originating in Germany where

00:17:59.380 --> 00:18:02.200
young people gather in public spaces like parks

00:18:02.200 --> 00:18:05.640
to eat prepackaged pudding using only a fork.

00:18:06.950 --> 00:18:10.490
creating a low -pressure fun and communal experience

00:18:10.490 --> 00:18:13.849
to meet people and escape daily stress, often

00:18:13.849 --> 00:18:16.410
starting with a countdown and speech before digging

00:18:16.410 --> 00:18:19.769
in. The pointlessness of using a fork for pudding

00:18:19.769 --> 00:18:22.910
is the appeal. Fostering community through shared

00:18:22.910 --> 00:18:25.549
silliness and providing a simple, inexpensive

00:18:25.549 --> 00:18:30.150
social outlet away from intense performance or

00:18:30.150 --> 00:18:44.180
pressure. Any comments so far? Okay. There is.

00:18:45.400 --> 00:18:48.940
A flyer or social media post announces a Pudding

00:18:48.940 --> 00:18:52.559
Mitkabel event in a specific location. Bring

00:18:52.559 --> 00:18:55.279
your own. Attendees bring their own pudding cups

00:18:55.279 --> 00:18:58.000
with a fork. No spoons are allowed. If you have

00:18:58.000 --> 00:19:01.579
a spoon, you get fucking kicked out. So, you

00:19:01.579 --> 00:19:04.200
gather and count down the people. You meet in

00:19:04.200 --> 00:19:06.480
a public spot, often with a host giving a brief

00:19:06.480 --> 00:19:09.549
impromptu speech. The pudding moment. Everyone

00:19:09.549 --> 00:19:12.769
taps their fork on the pudding cup, counts down

00:19:12.769 --> 00:19:15.890
from 10, and then starts eating the pudding with

00:19:15.890 --> 00:19:19.690
a fork. The slow, awkward process of eating pudding

00:19:19.690 --> 00:19:22.369
with a fork creates opportunities to chat and

00:19:22.369 --> 00:19:25.250
connect with strangers. This goes back to networking,

00:19:25.390 --> 00:19:29.809
like we talked about, right? Wow. Okay. I see

00:19:29.809 --> 00:19:32.049
what mode you're in tonight. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:19:32.369 --> 00:19:34.750
There's all kinds of weird shit going on, and

00:19:34.750 --> 00:19:40.259
I'm ready to tackle it tonight. So why is it

00:19:40.259 --> 00:19:42.759
popular with Gen Z? They asked him. People are

00:19:42.759 --> 00:19:46.480
like, why the hell do you go to a public spot

00:19:46.480 --> 00:19:49.240
like a park and let everybody know about it?

00:19:49.259 --> 00:19:51.839
And all the Gen Zers go out there and they eat

00:19:51.839 --> 00:19:53.779
pudding with a fork and have a speech and all

00:19:53.779 --> 00:19:58.200
this elaborate stuff. This is 90 % of them answered

00:19:58.200 --> 00:20:00.259
like this. And there's varying answers, but they

00:20:00.259 --> 00:20:03.759
were all close to the same thing. It's popular

00:20:03.759 --> 00:20:06.880
with Gen Z because the absurdism and humor. It's

00:20:06.880 --> 00:20:09.160
funny because it's pointless offering a break

00:20:09.160 --> 00:20:12.759
from seriousness. It's a community event. It's

00:20:12.759 --> 00:20:14.720
a low stakes way to find connection and feel

00:20:14.720 --> 00:20:17.880
part of something. And it's low cost. It's an

00:20:17.880 --> 00:20:20.900
inexpensive activity accessible to many young

00:20:20.900 --> 00:20:24.059
people. It's a reaction to stress. It serves

00:20:24.059 --> 00:20:26.279
as a simple, wholesome rebellion against daily

00:20:26.279 --> 00:20:29.180
pressures and world events. The trend started

00:20:29.180 --> 00:20:31.599
in Germany and quickly spread to Australia, Switzerland,

00:20:31.759 --> 00:20:34.579
and now the U .S., including college campuses

00:20:34.579 --> 00:20:39.299
like Yale, Northeastern, and UCLA. Via social

00:20:39.299 --> 00:20:44.180
media platforms like TikTok and all the regular

00:20:44.180 --> 00:20:47.539
outlets that you would expect them to be on,

00:20:47.599 --> 00:20:51.599
that's what they are. Rob, you got anything on

00:20:51.599 --> 00:21:04.420
that? I see nothing wrong with it. No, I don't.

00:21:04.420 --> 00:21:06.579
I don't. I don't see nothing wrong with it at

00:21:06.579 --> 00:21:09.740
all. Yeah, I actually, I really admire their

00:21:09.740 --> 00:21:17.240
imagination. Yeah, definitely. Yeah, it's weird.

00:21:17.339 --> 00:21:19.359
It's odd. But it's stuff like, I don't know.

00:21:19.539 --> 00:21:22.240
We used to do weird, odd stuff. Remember, we

00:21:22.240 --> 00:21:24.240
would like, I don't know, we would be out late

00:21:24.240 --> 00:21:28.339
at night and we'd like stand next to a fucking

00:21:28.339 --> 00:21:32.430
stoplight. and just stand there like a mannequin

00:21:32.430 --> 00:21:34.789
and see how many people stop and how many people

00:21:34.789 --> 00:21:37.630
lock their doors. It was out of boredom, you

00:21:37.630 --> 00:21:40.509
know, and it's just, you know, we used to wear

00:21:40.509 --> 00:21:43.309
shit all the time. It was like I almost got a

00:21:43.309 --> 00:21:46.789
gorilla suit from a guy that was a performer

00:21:46.789 --> 00:21:49.029
of some sort. I don't think it was a circus.

00:21:49.049 --> 00:21:50.970
It was something else, right? And I was going

00:21:50.970 --> 00:21:52.549
to take that gorilla suit, and I was going to

00:21:52.549 --> 00:21:54.769
put it on, and I was going to walk around town

00:21:54.769 --> 00:21:57.490
in the gorilla suit just for the fuck of it.

00:22:01.259 --> 00:22:05.240
I get bored straight through Mouse Creek. Oh,

00:22:05.299 --> 00:22:12.559
hell yeah. Yes. Yep. Oh, yeah, Mouse Creek. That's

00:22:12.559 --> 00:22:14.559
something else. Mouse Creek was a whole different

00:22:14.559 --> 00:22:17.039
thing. I mean, whenever you got in there, you

00:22:17.039 --> 00:22:18.380
didn't know what the fuck you were getting into.

00:22:19.059 --> 00:22:23.259
You have to be a Kansas City area listener to

00:22:23.259 --> 00:22:27.019
understand that. Well, Kansas City is one of

00:22:27.019 --> 00:22:34.900
our most... Yeah, it's a lake here locally in

00:22:34.900 --> 00:22:37.779
Kansas City. And at the time, a lot of people

00:22:37.779 --> 00:22:39.700
went there and partied. I don't know if it's

00:22:39.700 --> 00:22:42.000
still like that now. I kind of doubt it. But

00:22:42.000 --> 00:22:44.880
we used to all park there and then just go out

00:22:44.880 --> 00:22:46.779
in the fucking woods and drink and do stupid

00:22:46.779 --> 00:22:52.819
shit. Yeah, that was a lot of fun. So, anyhow,

00:22:54.119 --> 00:22:56.059
Val and I was watching this show yesterday. It's

00:22:56.059 --> 00:22:59.240
called Little Johnsons. They are a family of

00:22:59.240 --> 00:23:02.430
dwarfs. Little people or whatever the fucking

00:23:02.430 --> 00:23:05.809
proper name is this week, right? You know, that's

00:23:05.809 --> 00:23:07.849
fine with me, but the name, Little Johnsons,

00:23:07.890 --> 00:23:12.289
do they not know what that sounds like? I want

00:23:12.289 --> 00:23:16.329
a show called Little Vaginas. That's watchable.

00:23:16.670 --> 00:23:18.809
I don't know about Little Johnsons, but I think

00:23:18.809 --> 00:23:20.990
Little Vaginas would sound like a freaking show.

00:23:21.190 --> 00:23:24.250
What do you think? You take that out of the book,

00:23:24.289 --> 00:23:36.240
pal. So you know what? No, no, no, no. I'm not

00:23:36.240 --> 00:23:38.480
saying like I would watch it pervertedly. I think

00:23:38.480 --> 00:23:41.839
I would be like little vaginas. You know, I feel

00:23:41.839 --> 00:23:45.440
like I got to see what this. Oh, yeah. Thank

00:23:45.440 --> 00:23:54.380
you. Thank you. Okay. So I'm going to end this

00:23:54.380 --> 00:23:58.000
with this. Okay. Rob, do you do this too? I'm

00:23:58.000 --> 00:23:59.960
pretty sure a lot of people are going to connect

00:23:59.960 --> 00:24:01.980
to this. That's why I'm bringing it up. This

00:24:01.980 --> 00:24:04.420
time of year, I get really paranoid. I have this

00:24:04.420 --> 00:24:06.880
radar and can hear someone coughing or sneezing

00:24:06.880 --> 00:24:10.619
a mile away. I automatically try to cover up

00:24:10.619 --> 00:24:15.980
and run. Do you do that? No. Oh, okay. I do.

00:24:16.220 --> 00:24:18.839
I flip out whenever I hear someone hacking like

00:24:18.839 --> 00:24:21.380
crazy. I'm like, fuck you. I'm not getting your

00:24:21.380 --> 00:24:29.190
crud. I get as far away from them as I can. No,

00:24:29.250 --> 00:24:31.950
I didn't either. That's not what I'm talking

00:24:31.950 --> 00:24:35.849
about. I'm talking about someone just being sick

00:24:35.849 --> 00:24:37.690
and I don't want to be sneezing, hacking, and

00:24:37.690 --> 00:24:40.069
coughing lung cookies out. That's what I'm talking

00:24:40.069 --> 00:24:44.490
about. It sucks. I don't like being sick at all.

00:24:45.529 --> 00:24:50.970
I'll go to work breathing in more steel. I have

00:24:50.970 --> 00:25:01.859
my share of breathing in steel. What do you mean?

00:25:03.140 --> 00:25:05.799
I'm off work the next two and a half weeks. Oh,

00:25:05.799 --> 00:25:07.460
yeah, yeah. We've got to get together and do

00:25:07.460 --> 00:25:10.680
some of these Uncle Rob's Tips for Life so people

00:25:10.680 --> 00:25:14.779
can get off my ass. Yeah, I swear. Actually,

00:25:14.779 --> 00:25:18.240
if I get the chance, I'd really like to make

00:25:18.240 --> 00:25:21.160
a run up there and see you in person. That'd

00:25:21.160 --> 00:25:23.339
be great. I'd love to. I've got to get you your

00:25:23.339 --> 00:25:26.160
service, man. Oh, all right. That's cool. That

00:25:26.160 --> 00:25:29.259
will work. Oh, man. My cousin and his wife and

00:25:29.259 --> 00:25:41.549
their son. Mm -hmm. Awesome. Cool. There's this

00:25:41.549 --> 00:25:44.849
little gal that works at the Casey's here in

00:25:44.849 --> 00:25:50.430
Weaver. She is obsessed with my truck because

00:25:50.430 --> 00:25:53.450
the podcast is on the front. That's awesome.

00:26:22.500 --> 00:26:31.079
Okay. There's different... Okay. There's different

00:26:31.079 --> 00:26:33.660
forms of it, and so far I haven't found the right

00:26:33.660 --> 00:26:37.759
one for us. And the reason I say that is creative

00:26:37.759 --> 00:26:47.920
control. Creative control. Okay, yeah, please

00:26:47.920 --> 00:26:51.549
do, because... All the ones I looked at, it's

00:26:51.549 --> 00:26:57.309
not for us. Trust me. And because we like our

00:26:57.309 --> 00:26:59.529
creative control and we don't like anyone coming

00:26:59.529 --> 00:27:01.490
in and going, you can't say this or you can't

00:27:01.490 --> 00:27:09.509
do that. So to be true to that. Yes, and I'm

00:27:09.509 --> 00:27:11.609
saying stick with our guns on this. I think we

00:27:11.609 --> 00:27:13.950
do what we do very well. And we need to keep

00:27:13.950 --> 00:27:20.250
doing it. So, yeah, I automatically, the coffee

00:27:20.250 --> 00:27:23.170
didn't cover it. But anyhow, just as I was starting

00:27:23.170 --> 00:27:25.630
to dig Gen Z here real quick, I found this on

00:27:25.630 --> 00:27:30.930
TV and the internets. Tin fish rage. This is

00:27:30.930 --> 00:27:34.410
a massive social media trend of tin fish becoming

00:27:34.410 --> 00:27:38.569
trendy, aesthetically pleasing, and healthy snack

00:27:38.569 --> 00:27:41.230
or meal. This also spawned a new term because

00:27:41.230 --> 00:27:44.690
of the inflated price of fish called recession

00:27:44.690 --> 00:27:48.170
energy. Which is another... Okay, time out. Time

00:27:48.170 --> 00:27:55.029
out. Okay. Is that tin? T -I -N? T -I -N. T -I

00:27:55.029 --> 00:27:59.630
-N. Tin. Tin fish rage. It's fish... That's what's

00:27:59.630 --> 00:28:02.910
going like this one there? Yeah, it's fish that

00:28:02.910 --> 00:28:05.690
comes out of tins and they put them on charcuterie

00:28:05.690 --> 00:28:08.130
boards instead of having like, you know, meat

00:28:08.130 --> 00:28:11.230
and cheese on there. And it's supposed to be

00:28:11.230 --> 00:28:14.089
like a healthy alternative to charcuterie and

00:28:14.089 --> 00:28:17.250
snacks and stuff like that. And it's like a huge

00:28:17.250 --> 00:28:21.849
rage with Gen Z that this is, you know, that

00:28:21.849 --> 00:28:24.670
this is on the internet everywhere, that this

00:28:24.670 --> 00:28:30.029
tin fish rage. But this recess in energy, how

00:28:30.029 --> 00:28:32.470
about if we have a new guy explain it here real

00:28:32.470 --> 00:28:40.009
quick? That sound okay? He's off of suspension.

00:28:40.430 --> 00:28:42.809
He's off of suspension. I let him come back.

00:28:43.569 --> 00:28:48.390
But he's on probation. I told you. He's on probation.

00:28:48.430 --> 00:28:52.910
We'll see what happens. Hello. This is a new

00:28:52.910 --> 00:28:56.910
guy, and these two dumbasses want me to explain

00:28:56.910 --> 00:29:02.470
the term recession energy, I believe. Well, okay,

00:29:03.369 --> 00:29:07.490
here we go. Recession energy is a newer term

00:29:07.490 --> 00:29:09.849
used by younger generations that means a feeling

00:29:09.849 --> 00:29:14.029
on the street is uneasy about the economy. Younger

00:29:14.029 --> 00:29:15.970
people will use this term to point out how rough

00:29:15.970 --> 00:29:21.490
earning a living can be. There you guys go. Maybe

00:29:21.490 --> 00:29:23.690
these two dumbasses will leave me alone now.

00:29:24.309 --> 00:29:28.990
All right, new guy. I mean, I don't know, man.

00:29:29.069 --> 00:29:30.730
What are we going to do? He's surly as hell.

00:29:30.930 --> 00:29:37.119
I mean, but he does his job. He does his job,

00:29:37.140 --> 00:29:39.759
though. I mean, do we just put up with him being

00:29:39.759 --> 00:29:48.720
a dick? I know. I mean, I'm wondering if maybe

00:29:48.720 --> 00:29:50.920
I should cut back on his pencil shavings and

00:29:50.920 --> 00:29:55.740
give him something to think about. What do you

00:29:55.740 --> 00:30:04.890
think? You think that'll teach him? No? There

00:30:04.890 --> 00:30:13.130
you go. Okay, well, new guy, he left right after

00:30:13.130 --> 00:30:24.730
he did that segment. He knows about the Batsuit.

00:30:24.970 --> 00:30:27.210
He'd been listening a long time. He knows about

00:30:27.210 --> 00:30:41.640
the Batsuit, so that might make him happy. I

00:30:41.640 --> 00:30:44.859
know Jeffy X said he's coming over there during

00:30:44.859 --> 00:30:48.119
Christmas break because he doesn't go to these

00:30:48.119 --> 00:30:51.700
places and uncover their secrets during Christmas

00:30:51.700 --> 00:30:54.859
time. He leaves them alone. Yeah, he can't wait

00:30:54.859 --> 00:30:57.500
to get those Sgt. Pepper's outfits and the bat

00:30:57.500 --> 00:31:01.779
suit and the embroidered underwear. But anyhow,

00:31:01.920 --> 00:31:04.420
Rob, you have some stuff you want to speak about,

00:31:04.519 --> 00:31:09.819
so please. Yes, I do, Mark. Okay. That sounds

00:31:09.819 --> 00:31:19.450
pretty confident. Okay. Are you ready? I'm here

00:31:19.450 --> 00:31:24.410
holding on. For horns and trumpets. Oh, okay.

00:31:25.670 --> 00:31:28.930
This is right up your alley, buddy. Alright.

00:31:30.170 --> 00:31:48.450
Alright, here we go. Okay. Rob, I'm getting teary

00:31:48.450 --> 00:31:54.829
-eyed. The ALF Model A Ultralight, which will

00:31:54.829 --> 00:32:01.789
likely be available to customers by early 2026.

00:32:02.609 --> 00:32:07.430
Oh, like the first quarter of 26. Yes, early

00:32:07.430 --> 00:33:52.730
2026. Yes, and? Okay. Mm -hmm Wow Wow Okay, well

00:33:52.730 --> 00:34:27.530
maybe next time Yep Okay, so they'll get cheaper

00:34:27.530 --> 00:34:30.489
later when they keep mass -producing them. So,

00:34:30.530 --> 00:34:33.030
okay. Okay. They're going to see how they...

00:34:33.030 --> 00:34:38.530
No, actually, the one I'm looking at... Mm -hmm.

00:34:41.590 --> 00:34:46.329
It... Oh, let me see if I can pull this picture.

00:34:46.550 --> 00:34:50.650
It almost looks like an El Camino or something.

00:34:51.730 --> 00:34:57.670
Really? I love El Caminos. I love El Caminos.

00:34:58.590 --> 00:35:05.710
It looks like it has a bed like a truck. But

00:35:05.710 --> 00:35:09.510
it looks smaller like an El Camino. How about

00:35:09.510 --> 00:35:11.929
a Ranchero? Does it look like a Ranchero too?

00:35:12.110 --> 00:35:28.940
Or just an El Camino? Okay, I'll do some research.

00:35:34.159 --> 00:35:50.320
Wow. Okay, cool. Okay, cool. All right. Okay,

00:35:51.059 --> 00:35:56.920
thank you, Rob. Is that it on that one? Okay,

00:35:56.920 --> 00:35:59.599
let's take our first break. Then we're going

00:35:59.599 --> 00:36:04.039
to come back with some emails. Sounds awesome.

00:36:04.119 --> 00:36:07.500
You know I love our emails. I do too. They're

00:36:07.500 --> 00:36:10.179
the best, I swear. Anyhow, all right, we'll be

00:36:10.179 --> 00:36:15.639
back. Have you ever wondered what something came

00:36:15.639 --> 00:36:17.780
about? Have you ever looked at something and

00:36:17.780 --> 00:36:20.039
said, hmm, I wonder what the origin of that is?

00:36:20.719 --> 00:36:24.329
Well, so have we. That's why we give you... The

00:36:24.329 --> 00:36:28.929
origin of. This is the origin of Rob Rad's loincloth.

00:36:30.110 --> 00:36:33.030
Rob used to strip in a nightclub called McCock's

00:36:33.030 --> 00:36:35.949
on the city's east side. Rob was the only completely

00:36:35.949 --> 00:36:38.650
new dancer at the club. The other dancers were

00:36:38.650 --> 00:36:40.670
jealous of Rob making all the cash and made him

00:36:40.670 --> 00:36:43.409
use a loincloth to dance with. Rob soon had to

00:36:43.409 --> 00:36:45.809
wear his loincloth daily. He found out that he

00:36:45.809 --> 00:36:47.969
could get out of traffic tickets, sell vinyl

00:36:47.969 --> 00:36:50.289
siding, and pick up hotties at the come and go.

00:36:50.590 --> 00:36:52.869
Rob now wears his loincloth everywhere except

00:36:52.869 --> 00:36:56.340
work. Sports plus pubic hair equals to bad things.

00:36:56.760 --> 00:37:00.480
Four out of five people surveyed said that teeny

00:37:00.480 --> 00:37:03.559
douchebags in a microphone podcast are more entertaining

00:37:03.559 --> 00:37:07.039
than a gum infection. The fifth one called the

00:37:07.039 --> 00:37:09.960
cops, and we had to leave. Remember to send all

00:37:09.960 --> 00:37:13.380
male body part photos to Rob Rad's inbox. Oh,

00:37:13.380 --> 00:37:18.420
shit. What's that over there? Oh, no. It's the

00:37:18.420 --> 00:37:47.880
island of horrible jokes. Ugh. I am the mad shitter

00:37:47.880 --> 00:37:52.300
in Clayton, Missouri. Well, okay, like I said,

00:37:52.340 --> 00:37:54.500
this is a long time ago, you know, uh... I don't

00:37:54.500 --> 00:37:56.699
know. I was in my mid -20s. I had sleep apnea,

00:37:56.719 --> 00:37:59.639
and I had to wear a CPAP. And then I opted for

00:37:59.639 --> 00:38:02.440
the surgery. So I got surgery, and then I went

00:38:02.440 --> 00:38:05.460
back to the doctor. And the doctor was good.

00:38:05.659 --> 00:38:07.579
You know, this is before you could buy the CPAP

00:38:07.579 --> 00:38:09.400
machines. You had to rent them. Oh, yeah. Okay.

00:38:09.860 --> 00:38:12.880
So it was very expensive for me to keep it another

00:38:12.880 --> 00:38:15.079
day. And the insurance told me, if you don't

00:38:15.079 --> 00:38:18.059
take it back today, that we're going to start

00:38:18.059 --> 00:38:19.739
charging for it. And then in some outrageous

00:38:19.739 --> 00:38:21.500
sums, I'm like, okay, where do I take it back?

00:38:21.619 --> 00:38:23.079
And they said, Clinton, Missouri. I'm like...

00:38:23.260 --> 00:38:25.760
What the fuck? And I was like, well, you want

00:38:25.760 --> 00:38:29.539
to pay for it? No. Okay. So here I was on my

00:38:29.539 --> 00:38:31.719
way to Clinton, Missouri, you know, fucking tooling

00:38:31.719 --> 00:38:34.820
there in my little Ford Ranger at the time. So

00:38:34.820 --> 00:38:36.880
I tool all the way to Clinton, take the fucker

00:38:36.880 --> 00:38:38.500
back. And on the way back, I'm like, you know,

00:38:38.519 --> 00:38:40.320
it's going to be an hour before I can stop. There's

00:38:40.320 --> 00:38:43.460
no station. So I pull in, get some gas. I'm like,

00:38:43.500 --> 00:38:46.059
eh, I need a 7 -Up or something, you know. So

00:38:46.059 --> 00:38:49.699
I go into the crapper there, and it was like

00:38:49.699 --> 00:38:54.429
both of these walls just, just alongside where

00:38:54.429 --> 00:38:57.269
the urinals were, were covered in this, like,

00:38:57.269 --> 00:39:00.750
liquid shit. And I since found out through a

00:39:00.750 --> 00:39:02.670
nurse, they said they do it with a colostomy

00:39:02.670 --> 00:39:07.269
bag somehow. And, I mean, it's a gag. I mean,

00:39:07.369 --> 00:39:09.469
to me, that's like, you'd kill someone over that.

00:39:10.110 --> 00:39:12.329
So anyhow, I'm sitting there about ready to fucking

00:39:12.329 --> 00:39:16.650
gag. It smells horrible, so horrible. And anyhow,

00:39:16.769 --> 00:39:18.929
I'm dry heaving and just pissing as hard as I

00:39:18.929 --> 00:39:21.639
can. It's hurting me. And I'm pissing so hard

00:39:21.639 --> 00:39:24.119
that it's actually hurting me. I'm like, and

00:39:24.119 --> 00:39:27.380
all of a sudden this old man barges in. I think

00:39:27.380 --> 00:39:30.039
he's the owner of the store. And he points at

00:39:30.039 --> 00:39:32.480
me and he goes, I caught him. I caught him. I

00:39:32.480 --> 00:39:37.159
caught the mad shitter. And I'm like, what? And

00:39:37.159 --> 00:39:39.300
I go, I just got in here, sir. Meanwhile, I'm

00:39:39.300 --> 00:39:41.420
still trying to piss as fast as I can. I'm still

00:39:41.420 --> 00:39:44.280
dry heaving. It's him. It's him. I caught him.

00:39:44.400 --> 00:39:47.539
And I go. I just got in here. How did I shit

00:39:47.539 --> 00:39:49.539
all over everything? My pants are up. And he

00:39:49.539 --> 00:39:51.900
would not listen to me. So he starts fucking

00:39:51.900 --> 00:39:54.739
harping at me behind me while I'm leaving that

00:39:54.739 --> 00:39:56.880
place. Didn't wash my hands, nothing. Pissed

00:39:56.880 --> 00:40:00.500
all over myself. And I'm getting the fuck out

00:40:00.500 --> 00:40:02.260
of there because I'm not the mad shitter and

00:40:02.260 --> 00:40:04.119
I don't want anything. I don't want to be associated

00:40:04.119 --> 00:40:06.920
with it. So I'm like taking off and I'm leaving

00:40:06.920 --> 00:40:08.960
as fast as I can. I'm like, I'm getting my fucking

00:40:08.960 --> 00:40:11.380
seven up, damn it. I mean, I'm thirsty. So I

00:40:11.380 --> 00:40:13.000
go over and get my seven up and the old man's

00:40:13.000 --> 00:40:15.400
still behind me harping. And then, Sam, I got

00:40:15.400 --> 00:40:18.619
the mad shitter. And I'm sitting there just,

00:40:18.699 --> 00:40:20.199
I don't know what to say at this point because

00:40:20.199 --> 00:40:22.360
he will not shut up. He will not quit fucking

00:40:22.360 --> 00:40:25.460
chirping at me from behind me. So I get up there,

00:40:25.579 --> 00:40:28.260
and I'm by myself. And I look the lady in the

00:40:28.260 --> 00:40:30.719
eyes. I go, I just walked in there. I'm not the

00:40:30.719 --> 00:40:33.380
mad shitter. And she looks at me and goes, sure

00:40:33.380 --> 00:40:37.000
you're not. I don't think she believed me either.

00:40:37.119 --> 00:40:40.900
She thought I was the mad shitter. Yeah, so I

00:40:40.900 --> 00:41:07.230
brought my seven up and left in shame. What a

00:41:07.230 --> 00:41:09.829
barbecue sauce gift pack? No problem. Just a

00:41:09.829 --> 00:41:12.909
mere $40 on your firstborn. Hurry. You know,

00:41:12.929 --> 00:41:15.429
rubes are jumping all over to get to this complete

00:41:15.429 --> 00:41:22.170
ripoff. Because people are sheep. This is Joshua

00:41:22.170 --> 00:41:24.469
Belmont, your food for thought man on The Hustle.

00:41:24.949 --> 00:41:27.309
So I just realized a genius that gets absolutely

00:41:27.309 --> 00:41:30.750
no credit. His name is Marshall Taylor. He is

00:41:30.750 --> 00:41:32.829
credited with the first bag of salad mix that

00:41:32.829 --> 00:41:35.989
was bagged and sold. Yesterday was his birthday.

00:41:36.909 --> 00:41:39.909
I believe he is still alive. This guy's genius

00:41:39.909 --> 00:41:42.679
will never be fully appreciated. Before this

00:41:42.679 --> 00:41:45.179
ban, we settled for iceberg lettuce with maybe

00:41:45.179 --> 00:41:48.119
a couple of croutons and some cheese. Was Mr.

00:41:48.280 --> 00:41:51.559
Taylor satisfied with that? Hell no. He realized

00:41:51.559 --> 00:41:53.679
that Billy Americana would never go out and buy

00:41:53.679 --> 00:41:56.039
a couple of radishes, a couple of carrots, a

00:41:56.039 --> 00:41:58.400
head of purple cabbage, maybe snow peas, and

00:41:58.400 --> 00:42:00.679
possibly some cute romaine lettuce for extra

00:42:00.679 --> 00:42:04.280
bougie. Mr. Taylor, you should have a national

00:42:04.280 --> 00:42:10.280
holiday. Ho, ho, ho! This is crotchety old St.

00:42:10.460 --> 00:42:13.599
Prick. I'm the guy that comes in after Christmas

00:42:13.599 --> 00:42:17.179
and douses all your dreams and hopes. Ho, ho,

00:42:17.179 --> 00:42:21.239
ho. Ho, ho, ho. It's time to read another letter.

00:42:21.800 --> 00:42:24.139
Let's get into the bag and see what we have.

00:42:25.699 --> 00:42:29.119
Oh, here's a letter from little Lori. It reads,

00:42:29.199 --> 00:42:32.199
Dear St. Prick, All I want for Christmas is my

00:42:32.199 --> 00:42:34.860
mom and dad to get back together. Nothing else.

00:42:35.559 --> 00:42:37.820
Well, little Lori, I don't have a lot of answers,

00:42:37.960 --> 00:42:41.239
but I do have a poem for you. Roses are red.

00:42:41.619 --> 00:42:44.639
Violets are blue. Your mom is a whore. Your dad

00:42:44.639 --> 00:42:47.659
hasn't a clue. He is addicted to coke. Your mom

00:42:47.659 --> 00:42:49.760
likes to toke. And they will both die broke.

00:42:50.260 --> 00:42:52.920
Now get out of here, you little shit. You get

00:42:52.920 --> 00:42:57.980
nothing. Ho, ho, ho, ho. Yes, it's true. Mark

00:42:57.980 --> 00:43:01.139
is an old bastard. It's also true that Mark uses

00:43:01.139 --> 00:43:04.460
a lot of ibuprofen. But Mark would like to tell

00:43:04.460 --> 00:43:08.280
you, if you see any pictures of him roofing ibuprofen,

00:43:09.010 --> 00:43:11.829
It's obviously fake, and you're to take the pictures

00:43:11.829 --> 00:43:15.610
and tear them up immediately. And now we look

00:43:15.610 --> 00:43:18.130
in on the adventures of the technical explanation

00:43:18.130 --> 00:43:23.710
guy. Why, excuse me, my dear sir. Could you please

00:43:23.710 --> 00:43:26.449
direct me to the nearest self -employed person

00:43:26.449 --> 00:43:29.150
in a motorized vehicle that will transport me

00:43:29.150 --> 00:43:31.190
where I ask them to in exchange for money and

00:43:31.190 --> 00:43:35.630
a tip? Do you mean an Uber ride? Why, yes. Yes,

00:43:35.690 --> 00:43:39.139
I do mean an Uber ride. Then just say an Uber

00:43:39.139 --> 00:43:41.159
ride, you dumb motherfucker. And why are you

00:43:41.159 --> 00:43:43.320
constantly following me around asking me stupid

00:43:43.320 --> 00:43:48.619
questions? Fucking idiot. Hello, this is Phineas

00:43:48.619 --> 00:43:52.599
J. Valtaris III. I'm here to deliver your music

00:43:52.599 --> 00:43:59.840
news this evening. Toto Steve Lukather said that

00:43:59.840 --> 00:44:02.099
Michael Jackson's Beat It was almost ruined by

00:44:02.099 --> 00:44:04.579
Eddie Van Halen. Steve Lukather has explained

00:44:04.579 --> 00:44:06.420
that the issue wasn't Eddie Van Halen's solo

00:44:06.420 --> 00:44:09.210
itself. but that Eddie and his engineer, Don

00:44:09.210 --> 00:44:12.389
Landy, edited the master tape and messed up the

00:44:12.389 --> 00:44:14.489
time code, which was crucial for syncing other

00:44:14.489 --> 00:44:16.929
tracks. This forced Luke Catherin drummer Jeff

00:44:16.929 --> 00:44:20.510
Porcano to meticulously recreate the song's backing

00:44:20.510 --> 00:44:23.190
tracks from scratch, using the faint bleed of

00:44:23.190 --> 00:44:25.369
the drums in Michael Jackson's vocal track and

00:44:25.369 --> 00:44:29.510
re -establishing the rhythm. This is Phineas

00:44:29.510 --> 00:44:34.329
J. Baltar S. III. That has been your music news

00:44:34.329 --> 00:44:37.179
for this evening. I have one burning question

00:44:37.179 --> 00:44:40.500
for you all. Do people really skip around the

00:44:40.500 --> 00:44:57.219
Maypole? Two douchebags and a microphone. I am

00:44:57.219 --> 00:45:01.760
Mark here in the Kansas City vicinity at the

00:45:01.760 --> 00:45:10.099
Talk is Cheap studio. And I am at Rob in the

00:45:10.099 --> 00:45:15.159
Wheatland, Missouri, home of the magnificent

00:45:15.159 --> 00:45:20.019
Lucas Oil Speedway and the beautiful Wheatland

00:45:20.019 --> 00:45:25.559
RV Park. It is beautiful. It is beautiful. I've

00:45:25.559 --> 00:45:27.639
seen pictures of it online. It is a beautiful

00:45:27.639 --> 00:45:30.500
RV park. A lot of trees, all that good stuff.

00:45:32.840 --> 00:45:39.750
Yeah. What? Well, I can't tell you online or

00:45:39.750 --> 00:45:43.170
on the air how close I am to you. Oh, yeah, yeah,

00:45:43.190 --> 00:45:46.829
yeah. Gotcha. I've told you. I've told you all

00:45:46.829 --> 00:45:50.889
over. Yeah, I got it. Real quick, before I go

00:45:50.889 --> 00:45:52.670
into emails, I want to address something here

00:45:52.670 --> 00:45:55.809
real quick. All right. Come to my attention that

00:45:55.809 --> 00:45:59.550
after the Chiefs lost and were out of the playoffs,

00:45:59.610 --> 00:46:02.940
definitely. There have been a number of fans

00:46:02.940 --> 00:46:05.980
that started chanting, let's go Royals. Listen,

00:46:06.059 --> 00:46:08.500
the Royals are great. We all love them. But that

00:46:08.500 --> 00:46:12.179
was not called for. The Chiefs gave us so much

00:46:12.179 --> 00:46:16.039
winning. No, no, no. They gave us so much winning.

00:46:16.239 --> 00:46:18.900
And, I mean, you can't win all the time. That's

00:46:18.900 --> 00:46:21.500
the bottom line. It's a fact. And the people

00:46:21.500 --> 00:46:24.699
did that. Shame on you. Really, y 'all be thankful

00:46:24.699 --> 00:46:26.980
for what we've had and we're going to have. It's

00:46:26.980 --> 00:46:31.920
not over. So, all right. First email. You guys

00:46:31.920 --> 00:46:34.179
are the worst thing I've ever had the displeasure

00:46:34.179 --> 00:46:36.380
of listening to. Now remember, we have that new

00:46:36.380 --> 00:46:39.900
promo for the email, so we're getting more people,

00:46:40.000 --> 00:46:42.440
okay? And hate email goes to the front of the

00:46:42.440 --> 00:46:45.739
line, like I said. Yep, exactly. I assure you

00:46:45.739 --> 00:46:50.820
I turned off this horrible attempt at humor at

00:46:50.820 --> 00:46:55.079
59 seconds. Fucking bastard. You guys suck, and

00:46:55.079 --> 00:46:57.139
it will be nice when you finally get a brain

00:46:57.139 --> 00:46:59.860
and stop embarrassing yourselves. Monty in Fort

00:46:59.860 --> 00:47:08.340
Lauderdale. That's what I'm saying. Well, he

00:47:08.340 --> 00:47:10.360
did that. You know why he wrote that, don't you?

00:47:10.960 --> 00:47:15.659
60 seconds gives us a credit. I don't believe

00:47:15.659 --> 00:47:19.480
him for one minute. No, I don't believe him for

00:47:19.480 --> 00:47:24.519
one minute, and here's why. Okay. He did not

00:47:24.519 --> 00:47:27.579
do it after 59 seconds and decided he hated us.

00:47:27.780 --> 00:47:30.739
He went longer than that, I guarantee it. He

00:47:30.739 --> 00:47:34.219
said that because it needs 60 seconds for us

00:47:34.219 --> 00:47:36.000
to be a credit. They have to listen to it for

00:47:36.000 --> 00:47:38.500
one minute. That's why he said that. And I think

00:47:38.500 --> 00:47:40.320
I mentioned that before a couple of times, and

00:47:40.320 --> 00:47:41.920
that's where he got it from. He's not smart enough

00:47:41.920 --> 00:47:44.820
to look it up. So Monty is also probably a fake

00:47:44.820 --> 00:47:46.800
name, and he's probably not in Fort Lauderdale.

00:47:46.800 --> 00:47:49.539
And this is pretty much a form message from the

00:47:49.539 --> 00:47:53.139
haters. This is like template, don't have anything

00:47:53.139 --> 00:47:56.019
to back it up, just dog -ish, say bad shit, say

00:47:56.019 --> 00:48:00.059
you're horrible, say you suck, say you're stupid.

00:48:00.400 --> 00:48:02.420
They're just trying to get their message read

00:48:02.420 --> 00:48:06.079
on the air. Yeah, they're just trying to get

00:48:06.079 --> 00:48:08.579
in our skin. Whatever. Anyhow, whatever this

00:48:08.579 --> 00:48:10.199
douchebag's problem... No, no, no, he's not a

00:48:10.199 --> 00:48:13.119
douchebag. We're cool. Whatever this idiot's

00:48:13.119 --> 00:48:16.119
problem is... He's like an asshole. Yeah, so...

00:48:16.119 --> 00:48:20.550
Is it difficult? Yeah, there you are. So, yeah.

00:48:20.630 --> 00:48:24.690
So, Monty, if you will. Fuck off. All right.

00:48:25.630 --> 00:48:28.150
Hey, Mark. Ronnie and Tulsa and Mitch are long

00:48:28.150 --> 00:48:30.809
-lost brothers. I know this for a fact. Dean

00:48:30.809 --> 00:48:33.070
and Fairfield. I don't know where Fairfield is.

00:48:34.230 --> 00:48:37.369
No, they are not long -lost brothers. Fairfield.

00:48:37.730 --> 00:48:40.849
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What? Do you know

00:48:40.849 --> 00:48:44.329
where Fairfield is? I want to know what Fairfield.

00:48:45.349 --> 00:48:47.309
I don't know. It doesn't say. It just says...

00:48:47.840 --> 00:48:53.639
Dean in Fairfield. There used to be a Fairfield,

00:48:53.739 --> 00:49:01.280
Missouri. Used to be. Okay. Yeah, I want to know

00:49:01.280 --> 00:49:05.980
this Fairfield. Okay, well, Dean. Give us a little

00:49:05.980 --> 00:49:09.980
more info here, dude. I might be a little interested

00:49:09.980 --> 00:49:12.159
in this. Oh, that's another thing, too. Okay,

00:49:12.239 --> 00:49:17.079
if you're going to write down where you're from,

00:49:17.630 --> 00:49:19.809
Please put a state in it, because there's a lot

00:49:19.809 --> 00:49:24.530
of same names of towns in every state. So just

00:49:24.530 --> 00:49:27.809
put, if you could. Well, it's like Springfield.

00:49:27.889 --> 00:49:29.789
You've got Springfield, Missouri. You've got

00:49:29.789 --> 00:49:32.730
Springfield, Illinois. Springfield, Massachusetts.

00:49:34.269 --> 00:49:37.210
Yeah, pretty much every state has Springfield.

00:49:37.210 --> 00:49:39.489
I believe there's a Springfield, Georgia. Yes,

00:49:39.489 --> 00:49:44.980
yeah. So, yeah, just if... Whenever you email

00:49:44.980 --> 00:49:47.980
us, if you really want us to tell everyone where

00:49:47.980 --> 00:49:51.599
you're at, just put a state next to it. And thank

00:49:51.599 --> 00:49:55.420
you. Yeah, because if it's the Fairfield I'm

00:49:55.420 --> 00:50:02.599
thinking of, people know things. Okay. Well,

00:50:02.679 --> 00:50:04.719
all right. We will find out, hopefully. So, Dean,

00:50:04.820 --> 00:50:08.039
write us back, please. And thank you. And you're

00:50:08.039 --> 00:50:26.579
the best. All right. Yeah. Hey, hey. Yeah. Okay,

00:50:26.659 --> 00:50:28.860
I don't know. You know what? We'll find out.

00:50:29.159 --> 00:50:32.800
Hopefully he'll email us back. All right, Rob.

00:50:33.000 --> 00:50:35.980
I'll learn more about this. Okay. Rob, are you

00:50:35.980 --> 00:50:38.280
still working in Camdenton? That's an hour drive

00:50:38.280 --> 00:50:40.320
from Wheatland, and those roads are horrible.

00:50:40.460 --> 00:51:13.710
Tony and Joplin. Missouri, of course. And I'm

00:51:13.710 --> 00:51:17.550
still driving. I love it. I actually like it

00:51:17.550 --> 00:51:22.769
in the routine. I'm used to being at work like

00:51:22.769 --> 00:51:28.690
5 -10 minutes. But for years I drove an hour

00:51:28.690 --> 00:51:33.869
plus. Yeah, I've driven a long race too before.

00:51:35.369 --> 00:51:50.409
Okay. Yep. Well, there you go, Tony. Thank you,

00:51:50.409 --> 00:51:53.230
Tony and Joplin. Write us again. All right, next

00:51:53.230 --> 00:51:55.610
one. Where's the new guy at? I haven't heard

00:51:55.610 --> 00:51:58.050
him in a while. I hated him at first, but he

00:51:58.050 --> 00:52:01.090
kind of grew on me. Lynx in Kansas City, Kansas.

00:52:01.630 --> 00:52:08.210
Lynx, L -Y -N -X. He's on this one earlier. He

00:52:08.210 --> 00:52:11.530
was on suspension because he was rather flippant.

00:52:12.090 --> 00:52:15.179
But, you know, he does his job, so we're... going

00:52:15.179 --> 00:52:17.920
to employ him a little bit longer. We'll see

00:52:17.920 --> 00:52:20.440
where it goes from here, but no, he's back. All

00:52:20.440 --> 00:52:24.880
right. The next one. I found the food dude on

00:52:24.880 --> 00:52:28.079
Instagram. You have to do a lot of searching,

00:52:28.099 --> 00:52:30.599
but you're still on the platform. It's food dude

00:52:30.599 --> 00:52:34.219
with an underscore and a star quotation. Richie

00:52:34.219 --> 00:52:38.480
in Baltimore. I couldn't find it. I tried everything

00:52:38.480 --> 00:52:41.480
that you said here. I believe it's still up there.

00:52:42.039 --> 00:52:44.179
You know what? If you can get it, God bless you.

00:52:46.300 --> 00:52:49.280
I'm glad somebody got sued. Yeah, me too. So

00:52:49.280 --> 00:52:51.840
thank you, Richie in Baltimore. Appreciate it.

00:52:51.920 --> 00:52:55.579
Because I've yet to find it either. Yeah. All

00:52:55.579 --> 00:53:01.119
right. Hey, this next one I love. I need help.

00:53:01.460 --> 00:53:04.880
How do you get bloodstains out of socks? Asking

00:53:04.880 --> 00:53:10.400
for a friend. Terry in Wichita. Bleach. Bleach?

00:53:10.400 --> 00:53:16.539
Yeah. I think he's joking. I hope he's joking.

00:53:16.659 --> 00:53:20.179
I don't know. I don't care. Yeah, me neither.

00:53:20.280 --> 00:53:23.260
Whatever, Terry. All right. Bleach. Bleach. Yep.

00:53:24.000 --> 00:53:26.039
All right. And then finally, the last one. Your

00:53:26.039 --> 00:53:28.300
show is the equivalent of wiping your ass with

00:53:28.300 --> 00:53:33.719
sandpaper. Jerry and Tulsa. Good. Fucking awesome.

00:53:34.179 --> 00:53:47.059
Love that. Got any comments? He's going to. It

00:53:47.059 --> 00:53:48.739
may not be Tulsa, but he's going to be back in

00:53:48.739 --> 00:53:51.760
Oklahoma. He's working on it right now. Yeah,

00:53:51.760 --> 00:53:54.559
well, he may have to go with this dude to ask

00:53:54.559 --> 00:53:58.659
for it. Oh, he will. Oh, fuck yeah. Nope. Ronnie

00:53:58.659 --> 00:54:01.119
is not to be taken lightly. He will kick your

00:54:01.119 --> 00:54:03.639
ass. Sorry to put you in that position, Tulsa

00:54:03.639 --> 00:54:06.079
Chief. Yeah, he won't care. I guarantee you.

00:54:07.420 --> 00:54:10.340
Save us a drive. Yeah, save us a drive. You're

00:54:10.340 --> 00:54:19.000
right. All right. Rob, we turn to you. All right.

00:54:19.599 --> 00:54:25.739
You know what comes after this? Yep. The best

00:54:25.739 --> 00:54:32.559
segment ever. Ever. Anywhere. Rob, I am garbage.

00:54:33.019 --> 00:54:37.159
Yay. The best segment in any media anywhere ever.

00:56:06.079 --> 00:56:53.440
Okay. Wow. Okay. Okay. Thank you, Rob. All right.

00:56:53.539 --> 00:56:58.860
And, of course, you know how this goes. We got

00:56:58.860 --> 00:57:11.079
another, at least. There's one more. Yay. Oh,

00:57:11.079 --> 00:57:27.420
this is a pretty good one here. Okay. He lived

00:57:27.420 --> 00:57:32.079
entirely off his excess body fat and vitamins,

00:57:32.400 --> 00:57:39.219
ultimately losing 276 pounds with seemingly no

00:57:39.219 --> 00:57:46.420
adverse effects. He only pooped once every 40

00:57:46.420 --> 00:58:02.469
to 50 days. Well, yeah. Wow. Okay. Let me go

00:58:02.469 --> 00:58:09.730
further. Okay. Barberi, a 27 -year -old man from

00:58:09.730 --> 00:58:13.929
Dundee, Scotland, embarked in one of the most

00:58:13.929 --> 00:58:18.429
extreme medically supervised pasts in history.

00:58:19.710 --> 00:58:44.309
It was medically supervised. Okay. Okay, that's

00:58:44.309 --> 00:58:48.389
how he did it, I guess. All right. The fast lasted

00:58:48.389 --> 00:58:54.710
an astonishing 382 days. Wow. During which he

00:58:54.710 --> 00:59:02.590
lost 276 pounds. Wow. Regular checkups showed

00:59:02.590 --> 00:59:06.349
no major health complications, and his body adapted

00:59:06.349 --> 00:59:43.400
by burning stored fat for energy. Mm -hmm. Doctors

00:59:43.400 --> 00:59:48.920
later confirmed that his metabolic adaption allowed

00:59:48.920 --> 00:59:53.820
him to survive safely, though such a feat would

00:59:53.820 --> 01:00:02.320
never be recommended today. And so he survived

01:00:02.320 --> 01:00:07.980
off his body fat, but the good thing is it was

01:00:07.980 --> 01:00:13.690
medically watched. Yeah, yeah. Interesting. Wow.

01:00:14.610 --> 01:00:19.570
But he did it. I know. No, why can't they do

01:00:19.570 --> 01:00:23.449
that today? I don't know, and that's why I was...

01:00:23.449 --> 01:00:27.690
Yeah, that's why I was like going, huh? Okay.

01:00:28.090 --> 01:00:31.889
All right. Thank you, Rob. But yes, they won't

01:00:31.889 --> 01:00:36.150
do it today. Okay, I'll tell you what. Let's

01:00:36.150 --> 01:00:40.230
take our second break, and I got a... Interesting

01:00:40.230 --> 01:00:43.130
story here to see how you all feel about it.

01:00:43.369 --> 01:00:48.329
So we'll be right back. Sounds good. Thank you.

01:00:49.449 --> 01:00:52.670
Hey, everybody. This is Uncle Rob. I'm going

01:00:52.670 --> 01:00:57.150
to give you some tips for life. This is Uncle

01:00:57.150 --> 01:01:02.789
Rob's rules to dick pics. Rule number one, title

01:01:02.789 --> 01:01:06.070
a pic in someone else's name as long as you get

01:01:06.070 --> 01:01:14.699
busted. Complimentary to your wings and girth.

01:01:15.500 --> 01:01:22.539
Rule number four, no propping of the leg. Absolutely

01:01:22.539 --> 01:01:30.780
no undercarriage. Very important. Next up, things

01:01:30.780 --> 01:01:35.860
overheard in hell. John Wayne Gacy is in charge

01:01:35.860 --> 01:02:18.710
of human resources. Fuckstick, you're just in

01:02:18.710 --> 01:02:20.929
time for brand new feature news nobody gives

01:02:20.929 --> 01:02:24.130
a shit about. Bumblebees have been proven to

01:02:24.130 --> 01:02:30.530
sing to their young. Oh man, what the fuck is

01:02:30.530 --> 01:02:34.789
this? Is this a new feature? What's inside Mark's

01:02:34.789 --> 01:02:41.050
head? Sounds stupid to me. Mmm, Stromboli is

01:02:41.050 --> 01:02:45.849
so delicious. I love Stromboli. I wonder if it

01:02:45.849 --> 01:02:50.650
loves me back. I bet you it does. Stromboli is

01:02:50.650 --> 01:02:54.809
so tasty. It's like a giant pizza roll with more

01:02:54.809 --> 01:02:59.230
flavor. It's the ultimate food. Mmm, stromboli.

01:02:59.650 --> 01:03:04.429
We need stromboli cereal. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's

01:03:04.429 --> 01:03:08.409
it. Stromboli cereal. Mmm, stromboli flakes.

01:03:08.730 --> 01:03:18.449
Mmm. And now, Deep Thoughts with Mark. Hmm. Let's

01:03:18.449 --> 01:03:21.650
see. If I identify as a dog and I start wandering

01:03:21.650 --> 01:03:24.010
around the block without a collar on, could animal

01:03:24.010 --> 01:03:28.670
control come by and pick me up? Hmm. I may never

01:03:28.670 --> 01:03:37.409
know. Long time ago, there was a... party house

01:03:37.409 --> 01:03:41.050
and this one i worked at justin jones steakhouse

01:03:41.050 --> 01:03:43.789
oh yeah okay and all of us partied at night the

01:03:43.789 --> 01:03:46.250
guy that worked there he he lived back behind

01:03:46.250 --> 01:03:51.269
justin jones um and uh anyhow he uh he you know

01:03:51.269 --> 01:03:54.050
he was divorced and anyhow so he had kind of

01:03:54.050 --> 01:03:57.269
like a party house back there so me and a buddy

01:03:57.269 --> 01:03:59.929
of mine was sitting back there one night and

01:03:59.929 --> 01:04:02.550
we're bored as hell so we're daring each other

01:04:02.550 --> 01:04:05.250
to do stupid shit So I told him, I said, all

01:04:05.250 --> 01:04:07.050
right, I forgot what he dared me. He probably

01:04:07.050 --> 01:04:09.030
ran around the block naked or something like

01:04:09.030 --> 01:04:11.869
that. Something stupid, you know, clucking like

01:04:11.869 --> 01:04:16.010
a chicken or like, I don't know, you know, just

01:04:16.010 --> 01:04:17.929
stuff that we could come up with that we could

01:04:17.929 --> 01:04:20.590
do. So I'm looking around. I look next door,

01:04:20.710 --> 01:04:24.469
and I guess there's like some party or something

01:04:24.469 --> 01:04:27.010
going on, and neither one of us heard about it.

01:04:27.070 --> 01:04:29.090
So we're the only two tool bags sitting here

01:04:29.090 --> 01:04:31.190
at that party house. We're just sitting there

01:04:31.190 --> 01:04:33.880
going, fuck, man, this is boring as hell. So,

01:04:33.900 --> 01:04:35.739
you know, we're doing this stupid shit that we're

01:04:35.739 --> 01:04:39.760
daring each other to do. So, I look out and there's

01:04:39.760 --> 01:04:41.920
a house next to it with this little porch. I

01:04:41.920 --> 01:04:46.380
go, hey, go out there, take a dump on the porch,

01:04:46.599 --> 01:04:49.960
light it on fire, bang on a door, and then come

01:04:49.960 --> 01:04:54.679
back. Sure, no problem. So, hey, I'm sitting

01:04:54.679 --> 01:04:57.260
there and I see this silhouette of a moonlight,

01:04:57.659 --> 01:05:03.139
this shadowy figure fucking squatting. See these

01:05:03.139 --> 01:05:06.500
fucking couple of turds come out. And see him

01:05:06.500 --> 01:05:08.860
fucking throw up his shorts real quick. And all

01:05:08.860 --> 01:05:11.539
this is just a shadowy figure. Then I see him

01:05:11.539 --> 01:05:14.400
stooped over. It took him a long time to get

01:05:14.400 --> 01:05:16.679
this fucker lit. I see him over there laboring.

01:05:17.000 --> 01:05:19.860
And I'm like, oh shit. So then he like throws

01:05:19.860 --> 01:05:21.699
some leaves or some shit on it. And finally I

01:05:21.699 --> 01:05:25.539
see this little flame. And I see this like, he

01:05:25.539 --> 01:05:29.880
kind of clenches up like, yeah! I have some fire.

01:05:30.380 --> 01:05:33.380
And all of this is shadowing, right? So anyhow,

01:05:33.679 --> 01:05:36.860
I'm like, ah, good. Good job, well done. So he

01:05:36.860 --> 01:05:39.960
comes back. He sits down. And we're sitting there

01:05:39.960 --> 01:05:43.179
waiting, waiting, waiting. Nothing. We both end

01:05:43.179 --> 01:05:45.860
up passing out. So at 3 in the morning, I wake

01:05:45.860 --> 01:05:49.340
up and I see like this glow. It's kind of an

01:05:49.340 --> 01:05:54.320
orange glow through the blinds. What the hell?

01:05:54.360 --> 01:05:57.039
And I hear a bunch of rustling and shit and people

01:05:57.039 --> 01:06:01.920
talking. All of a sudden, it dawned on me. Oh,

01:06:01.920 --> 01:06:04.119
shit, he burnt down the house next door. Oh,

01:06:04.119 --> 01:06:08.059
my God. So, yeah, I get up. I go over there,

01:06:08.199 --> 01:06:10.940
and there's like four firefighters with this

01:06:10.940 --> 01:06:13.420
hose, and a guy standing out there shaking his

01:06:13.420 --> 01:06:18.559
head, and they're all laughing because someone

01:06:18.559 --> 01:06:21.159
shed his shit on the porch, lit it, and it caught

01:06:21.159 --> 01:06:26.079
their porch on fire because nobody fucking answered

01:06:26.079 --> 01:06:28.500
the door. They were probably sound asleep. Maybe

01:06:28.500 --> 01:06:33.360
they're on sleeping pills or something. I'm like,

01:06:33.480 --> 01:06:35.699
dude, dude, wake up. He's like, oh, fuck, man.

01:06:35.960 --> 01:06:40.380
I'm on probation. I'm going to go to jail. I'm

01:06:40.380 --> 01:06:42.400
like, dude, calm down. It didn't burn the house

01:06:42.400 --> 01:06:45.539
down, man. Nobody died or nothing. Listen, they're

01:06:45.539 --> 01:06:48.559
all out there laughing and stuff. And the homeowner's

01:06:48.559 --> 01:06:50.320
like shaking his head like, who the fuck did

01:06:50.320 --> 01:06:56.710
this? So anyhow. Tomorrow morning, while grinding

01:06:56.710 --> 01:06:58.929
your coffee beans for your double mocha latte,

01:06:59.289 --> 01:07:01.869
remember to not get your genitals caught in the

01:07:01.869 --> 01:07:05.570
grinder. It really hurts. Who can afford plastic

01:07:05.570 --> 01:07:10.369
surgery? Stay safe, everyone. Ms. Gulkenstein

01:07:10.369 --> 01:07:12.369
was tired of Mark and Toe for making sport of

01:07:12.369 --> 01:07:15.289
her. Little did the douchebags know Ms. Gulkenstein

01:07:15.289 --> 01:07:18.010
was a voodoo high priestess when she was younger.

01:07:18.489 --> 01:07:22.429
She grew angry and cast a spell on Rob, changing

01:07:22.429 --> 01:07:27.059
Rob into a capuchin monkey. Mark took Rob to

01:07:27.059 --> 01:07:29.079
a local zoo so we could be with the other monkeys.

01:07:29.420 --> 01:07:33.260
Here are the adventures of Rob, the capuchin

01:07:33.260 --> 01:07:38.579
monkey. Shh, be very quiet. We're going to listen

01:07:38.579 --> 01:07:41.199
in as Rob, the capuchin monkey, tries to sell

01:07:41.199 --> 01:07:44.179
the rest of the capuchin monkeys Amway. Rob has

01:07:44.179 --> 01:07:46.619
always dreamed of becoming a diamond status Amway

01:07:46.619 --> 01:08:10.840
as a capuchin monkey. Little did our hero Rob

01:08:10.840 --> 01:08:14.280
know. All the great apes owned stock in Sam's

01:08:14.280 --> 01:08:16.399
Club and became violently pissed off when he

01:08:16.399 --> 01:08:19.180
tried to infringe on their territory. They promptly

01:08:19.180 --> 01:08:21.359
grabbed switches and beat his ass for three days

01:08:21.359 --> 01:08:34.739
straight. Rob could not sit down. We are two

01:08:34.739 --> 01:08:38.020
douchebags and a microphone. I am Mark. And I

01:08:38.020 --> 01:08:41.819
am here in Kansas City at the Talk is Cheap studio.

01:08:43.180 --> 01:08:51.380
And I am Rob in Wheatland, Missouri, home of

01:08:51.380 --> 01:08:56.619
the magnificent Lucas Oil Speedway and the beautiful

01:08:56.619 --> 01:09:01.579
Wheatland RV Park in the Doug Blatt studio. All

01:09:01.579 --> 01:09:06.199
right, Rob, like I promised, an interesting story

01:09:06.199 --> 01:09:11.430
here. A cop with kidney failure six months away

01:09:11.430 --> 01:09:16.250
from being retired is being terminated ending

01:09:16.250 --> 01:09:19.329
his health benefits. Mount Vernon, New York,

01:09:19.409 --> 01:09:22.850
a 19 -year police veteran, Derek Williams, is

01:09:22.850 --> 01:09:26.090
on dialysis, and his doctor said he can work

01:09:26.090 --> 01:09:30.069
light duty. I do nine hours of dialysis a day,

01:09:30.149 --> 01:09:37.800
seven days a week, Williams' statement. He could

01:09:37.800 --> 01:09:41.060
do any light duty that they wanted, but they

01:09:41.060 --> 01:09:43.460
don't want that. They're saying that there isn't

01:09:43.460 --> 01:09:47.779
any light duty and that they chose to terminate

01:09:47.779 --> 01:09:51.739
him. But that's not just that here, so let me

01:09:51.739 --> 01:09:57.600
go on. William's statement was... Yeah, his brothers

01:09:57.600 --> 01:10:00.340
in blue also back him. They were right next to

01:10:00.340 --> 01:10:02.979
him when he spoke about this. What makes this

01:10:02.979 --> 01:10:05.720
more egregious is Officer Williams was a former

01:10:05.720 --> 01:10:08.300
member of the Elite Emergency Service Union,

01:10:08.420 --> 01:10:12.939
which he contracted COVID while saving people

01:10:12.939 --> 01:10:17.720
in 2020 while working double shifts. Derek chose

01:10:17.720 --> 01:10:20.100
to help the community during a pandemic, the

01:10:20.100 --> 01:10:23.199
police spokesperson said. His kidney problems

01:10:23.199 --> 01:10:26.439
were not work -related. But I'm saying, who gives

01:10:26.439 --> 01:10:28.359
a shit? I don't care if it's caused by COVID

01:10:28.359 --> 01:10:32.310
or not. That guy did heroic shit and we need

01:10:32.310 --> 01:10:35.810
to stand by him. It's bullshit, in my opinion,

01:10:35.949 --> 01:10:39.210
that they would take such an honorable guy that

01:10:39.210 --> 01:10:42.930
did so many things for people, selfless, probably

01:10:42.930 --> 01:10:46.130
will end up dying younger because he did this

01:10:46.130 --> 01:10:48.989
for people and they terminated him six months

01:10:48.989 --> 01:10:53.250
before he retired so he will not be able to get

01:10:53.250 --> 01:10:55.850
dialysis and he might die. He will die if he

01:10:55.850 --> 01:11:00.619
doesn't. What kind of bullshit is that, in my

01:11:00.619 --> 01:11:05.739
opinion? You got anything you want to add to

01:11:05.739 --> 01:11:19.579
that? It is. The guy gave his life for everybody.

01:11:19.899 --> 01:11:22.000
Don't you think you could find him six months

01:11:22.000 --> 01:11:25.000
of something to do? It's not hurting them any.

01:11:57.869 --> 01:12:03.670
You told me who she was. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. So

01:12:03.670 --> 01:12:08.210
she got, like, hat -pinching and then had to

01:12:08.210 --> 01:12:13.470
go take another job. That's fucking evil. That's

01:12:13.470 --> 01:12:16.970
bullshit. Whoever did that made they rot in hell.

01:12:18.170 --> 01:12:20.689
You know who it was. Yeah, yeah. Well, I'm talking

01:12:20.689 --> 01:12:22.810
about the person directly responsible for it

01:12:22.810 --> 01:12:25.390
that said, we're going to lay her off. I've dealt

01:12:25.390 --> 01:12:27.250
with motherfuckers like that. I dealt with a

01:12:27.250 --> 01:12:29.770
motherfucker like that at my last job. Not the

01:12:29.770 --> 01:12:32.329
one now. Run now, I'm fine. But the one before.

01:12:32.470 --> 01:12:36.189
They gave her a severance package and everything.

01:12:36.569 --> 01:12:38.470
Yeah, yeah, yeah. All that good stuff. What the

01:12:38.470 --> 01:12:42.970
fuck she put in? Hell no. Yeah. Fuck that company.

01:12:43.050 --> 01:12:45.409
I know who they are. They're a piece of crap

01:12:45.409 --> 01:12:48.470
anyhow. And whoever did that, whoever okayed

01:12:48.470 --> 01:12:50.250
that, I hope they get their just desserts in

01:12:50.250 --> 01:12:57.310
hell. Just saying that. Yep, we'll just leave

01:12:57.310 --> 01:13:01.689
it at that. So, Rob, you had something. Are you

01:13:01.689 --> 01:13:07.649
ready to go into what you wanted to? Well, do

01:13:07.649 --> 01:13:10.569
you want to go ahead and go into that one? Well,

01:13:10.590 --> 01:13:15.529
I'm doing this because it's 9 o 'clock. It's

01:13:15.529 --> 01:13:17.970
getting late in the day, and that's why I'm wondering

01:13:17.970 --> 01:13:19.649
if we want to go into it. If you want to go into

01:13:19.649 --> 01:13:21.810
something else, that's fine. I was just asking

01:13:21.810 --> 01:13:30.039
you. Yes. All right, let's do it. Okay. Rob,

01:13:30.220 --> 01:13:34.460
please start this off. All right. We're going

01:13:34.460 --> 01:13:38.479
to go somewhere tonight. And this is a touch

01:13:38.479 --> 01:13:42.539
of guilt back here. Mm -hmm. Because I want to

01:13:42.539 --> 01:13:47.960
bring a little politics into this. Yes. But there

01:13:47.960 --> 01:13:51.300
is an underlying story. We're all grown up right

01:13:51.300 --> 01:13:55.369
now. Don't expect it to last. But right now we're

01:13:55.369 --> 01:13:59.710
all grown up. And we want everybody to weigh

01:13:59.710 --> 01:14:03.189
in with this. Oh, I'm sure they will. Our emailers

01:14:03.189 --> 01:14:06.149
are so fantastic. I guarantee you they will weigh

01:14:06.149 --> 01:14:10.529
in on this. Right. So, yeah, and we want to know

01:14:10.529 --> 01:14:14.329
what everybody thinks on this direction. Yes.

01:14:33.700 --> 01:15:34.640
Mm -hmm. It is unclear whether the classification

01:15:34.640 --> 01:15:39.520
will mean significant changes to the Trump administration's

01:15:39.520 --> 01:15:43.680
efforts to curb the flow of fentanyl, which is

01:15:43.680 --> 01:15:47.180
the center of disease and control and prevention.

01:15:47.619 --> 01:15:52.460
SMA has killed more than 48 ,000 Americans in

01:15:52.460 --> 01:17:28.920
2024. Mm -hmm. Okay. Okay. Yeah, I think you

01:17:28.920 --> 01:17:35.159
got the gist of what we're talking about. I do,

01:17:36.220 --> 01:17:54.699
too. I've got a... Yes, I'm thinking... I'm looking

01:17:54.699 --> 01:17:57.539
at it like this. Yes, I agree with you 100 %

01:17:57.539 --> 01:17:59.359
on everything. Here's the way I'm looking at

01:17:59.359 --> 01:18:03.560
it. Okay, what it is is this right here. He's

01:18:03.560 --> 01:18:05.939
bringing attention to it by calling it a name

01:18:05.939 --> 01:18:08.539
like weapons of mass destruction. He's giving

01:18:08.539 --> 01:18:11.079
it attention, which it needs. He's trying to

01:18:11.079 --> 01:18:13.800
get people to, look, if you love or hate the

01:18:13.800 --> 01:18:16.239
guy, it doesn't matter. I'm just speaking about

01:18:16.239 --> 01:18:19.199
this right here. He's bringing attention to the

01:18:19.199 --> 01:18:30.489
matter. It is. And anyone that hates Trump, let

01:18:30.489 --> 01:18:36.109
a family member die from fentanyl for no good

01:18:36.109 --> 01:18:38.170
reason at all, just that some fuck put it in

01:18:38.170 --> 01:18:40.510
there to stretch out the drugs. And then see

01:18:40.510 --> 01:18:43.989
how you feel. See if you don't agree with Trump

01:18:43.989 --> 01:18:46.470
after that. Because I think if anyone has anything

01:18:46.470 --> 01:18:50.789
against this is not thinking clearly. They hate

01:18:50.789 --> 01:18:52.970
Trump so much that they can't think clearly.

01:18:53.510 --> 01:18:56.439
That's what I think. I mean, look, I'm not standing

01:18:56.439 --> 01:18:58.439
up for Trump or nothing. What I'm saying is this

01:18:58.439 --> 01:19:00.319
right here. Something needs to be done about

01:19:00.319 --> 01:19:02.880
this and at least he's fucking doing something

01:19:02.880 --> 01:19:07.180
unlike a lot of other fucking politicians. At

01:19:07.180 --> 01:19:08.939
least he's doing something. There is one thing

01:19:08.939 --> 01:19:13.220
I have always liked about Trump. He does things.

01:19:13.880 --> 01:19:30.680
Yes. Okay. He's done a lot of stuff wrong. Yeah,

01:19:30.840 --> 01:19:33.680
but we've all done a lot of stuff wrong. Anything

01:19:33.680 --> 01:19:36.939
that you do in life that's going to be a hard

01:19:36.939 --> 01:19:40.899
decision, there isn't... Well, you also got to

01:19:40.899 --> 01:19:44.659
think about our media. You got to think about

01:19:44.659 --> 01:19:50.380
the Democrat -Republican battle. You know, you

01:19:50.380 --> 01:20:01.619
can't let us know every day. No, so... Yeah,

01:20:01.680 --> 01:20:04.399
I'm simply putting it just like this right here.

01:20:04.479 --> 01:20:07.460
He's doing something about it. So I think that

01:20:07.460 --> 01:20:10.159
people are trying to dissect it and make it.

01:20:10.939 --> 01:20:14.340
Stop doing that. Stop fucking making everything

01:20:14.340 --> 01:20:17.159
your agenda. And I'm talking about both sides,

01:20:17.279 --> 01:20:20.180
both sides. Stop making everything your agenda

01:20:20.180 --> 01:20:23.720
or your personal plight. OK, there's not always

01:20:23.720 --> 01:20:25.899
not everything is black and white. There's gray

01:20:25.899 --> 01:20:29.199
areas. OK, and you can agree with Trump on something

01:20:29.199 --> 01:20:32.680
if you. if you allow yourself to think about

01:20:32.680 --> 01:20:34.699
it, okay? And I know people that are the other

01:20:34.699 --> 01:20:38.479
way on Democrats, okay? So the way it is is this

01:20:38.479 --> 01:20:43.500
right here. Yes. Yes, and also the more we try

01:20:43.500 --> 01:20:46.359
to get along with each other, I may think you're

01:20:46.359 --> 01:20:49.979
as nutty as a fucking squirrel shit, but it doesn't

01:20:49.979 --> 01:20:53.300
matter. If I respect you and I leave you alone

01:20:53.300 --> 01:20:55.439
and let you have your opinion and don't try to

01:20:55.439 --> 01:20:58.220
cancel you and don't try to motherfuck you or

01:20:58.220 --> 01:21:01.079
point fingers, The world's a much better place.

01:21:01.239 --> 01:21:03.779
And the same way with the other side. Leave people

01:21:03.779 --> 01:21:06.260
alone. Let them believe what they want to believe.

01:21:06.479 --> 01:21:08.579
We're speaking on this because we're passionate

01:21:08.579 --> 01:21:10.520
about this and we think that the drug problem

01:21:10.520 --> 01:21:12.899
in America is one of the number one fucking problems

01:21:12.899 --> 01:21:17.039
we have. Drugs have ruined this country. I did

01:21:17.039 --> 01:21:19.659
not bring this story about drugs. I brought it

01:21:19.659 --> 01:21:22.979
about... Exactly. And if anyone makes it anything

01:21:22.979 --> 01:21:26.539
else, email me. Make it something else so we

01:21:26.539 --> 01:21:29.539
can ridicule you because that's bullshit. This

01:21:29.539 --> 01:21:32.840
is not pro or con. What this is is common fucking

01:21:32.840 --> 01:21:36.760
sense. Common fucking sense. We have to get drugs

01:21:36.760 --> 01:21:39.920
out of our society no matter what it takes. I

01:21:39.920 --> 01:21:41.840
don't care. You want to bring in the National

01:21:41.840 --> 01:21:44.800
Guard to all these heavily areas that have all

01:21:44.800 --> 01:21:49.579
these drugs? I'm for it. I'm for it. We got to

01:21:49.579 --> 01:21:51.960
do something. At least somebody's fucking trying

01:21:51.960 --> 01:21:54.399
to do something instead of politics in America

01:21:54.399 --> 01:21:56.840
where everybody looks the other way because it's

01:21:56.840 --> 01:22:01.560
a hard issue. That's what's wrong. Save our families

01:22:01.560 --> 01:22:06.100
and our kids. Yes. And if you view it in any

01:22:06.100 --> 01:22:08.619
other way, you're skewed. You need to go look

01:22:08.619 --> 01:22:10.699
in the mirror. You need to go look in the mirror

01:22:10.699 --> 01:22:12.800
and think, you know what, I'm a hypocrite. Because

01:22:12.800 --> 01:22:16.279
I won't allow any other thinking. So, anyhow.

01:22:16.739 --> 01:22:19.680
Alright, Rob, I'm done with that. Are you? I

01:22:19.680 --> 01:22:27.619
mean, that's the way I feel. Yeah. Sunday night's

01:22:27.619 --> 01:22:36.060
good. We want our listeners to email us and see

01:22:36.060 --> 01:22:52.479
how you feel on our point of view on this. Stuff

01:22:52.479 --> 01:22:55.319
like this, what Rob found, stuff like this, what

01:22:55.319 --> 01:22:59.399
Rob found, is exactly what we're going for. We're

01:22:59.399 --> 01:23:02.699
taking issues that need to be talked about, and

01:23:02.699 --> 01:23:04.819
we're trying to dissect them and come up with

01:23:04.819 --> 01:23:07.359
different answers. And Rob, I thank you. That

01:23:07.359 --> 01:23:10.039
was a great story. And also, the only thing I

01:23:10.039 --> 01:23:14.300
ask is, come on, guys. Okay? Email me something

01:23:14.300 --> 01:23:18.819
intelligent. Okay? If you don't believe it, that's

01:23:18.819 --> 01:23:21.579
fine. Yeah, we don't want someone going, oh,

01:23:21.619 --> 01:23:24.319
you're a stupid fucking slob or you're a dumbass.

01:23:24.680 --> 01:23:30.380
Come up with something. Yes. No, but you know

01:23:30.380 --> 01:23:33.199
some idiot will make it like that. So, come on,

01:23:33.199 --> 01:23:37.380
guys. And we're not endorsing Trump or anybody.

01:23:37.720 --> 01:23:39.600
What we're talking about is the issue itself.

01:23:40.199 --> 01:23:46.340
So, all right. Email me, but be real. Don't lie.

01:23:46.890 --> 01:23:49.350
Be serious. Don't try to get a little zinger

01:23:49.350 --> 01:23:55.770
in. Let us know. We've actually been kicking

01:23:55.770 --> 01:24:03.250
the can about it. Yeah, and this was the perfect

01:24:03.250 --> 01:24:06.649
one, and I'm glad you found it. Thank you, Rob.

01:24:06.770 --> 01:24:09.470
That was a great story, and this was the perfect

01:24:09.470 --> 01:24:11.489
one to kick off something like this. Just get

01:24:11.489 --> 01:24:28.109
the... Yeah, it needs to be solved. So, yeah.

01:24:28.569 --> 01:24:36.149
Yeah, so, yeah, we appreciate it. Anyone that's

01:24:36.149 --> 01:24:38.750
got an honest email, we want to hear your opinions

01:24:38.750 --> 01:24:43.170
on everything. So, thank you very much. All right,

01:24:43.189 --> 01:24:45.430
Rob, it is 9 -14. You got anything you want to

01:24:45.430 --> 01:24:49.750
go into besides that? Yeah, that's about all

01:24:49.750 --> 01:24:53.090
I have for my brother. Okay, the same here. So,

01:24:53.130 --> 01:24:56.439
email us. Be honest. Don't be a dick. As soon

01:24:56.439 --> 01:24:58.960
as we hang up, I'm starting my two -and -a -half

01:24:58.960 --> 01:25:02.140
-week vacation. Oh, I need to speak with you

01:25:02.140 --> 01:25:05.020
about that, too, because, hey, everybody, listen

01:25:05.020 --> 01:25:09.159
to this and listen to it closely. We quickly

01:25:09.159 --> 01:25:12.039
here, before too much time, are going to have

01:25:12.039 --> 01:25:16.020
more Uncle Rob's tips for life and more ramblings

01:25:16.020 --> 01:25:18.739
of a madman, so you little biters can leave me

01:25:18.739 --> 01:25:31.619
the fuck alone about it. Okay? Yes. Okay, you

01:25:31.619 --> 01:25:34.340
know what? We will fit it in. We'll fit it in.

01:25:35.399 --> 01:25:38.920
She totally believes in what I'm doing here.

01:25:39.640 --> 01:25:42.119
Rob, if you come up here, I will print off some

01:25:42.119 --> 01:25:43.880
of the emails so you can see them. I don't read

01:25:43.880 --> 01:25:47.300
them because it's like, okay. I read the first

01:25:47.300 --> 01:25:49.779
couple, then that's it. It's like, all right,

01:25:49.840 --> 01:25:51.899
okay, get the point, got the point, got the point.

01:25:52.060 --> 01:25:55.300
So, yeah, Rob's coming up with more stuff. There

01:25:55.300 --> 01:25:58.239
you go. All righty, everybody, thank you for

01:25:58.239 --> 01:26:02.880
listening. Have a fantastic evening. Good night,

01:26:02.899 --> 01:26:10.060
assholes. Good night, assholes. Oh, no. Looks

01:26:10.060 --> 01:26:12.880
like the show's over, kids. Mark has explosive

01:26:12.880 --> 01:26:16.560
diarrhea and can't afford a wireless mic. Fear

01:26:16.560 --> 01:26:18.979
not, assholes. They'll be back invading your

01:26:18.979 --> 01:26:19.779
ear holes soon.