WEBVTT

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Welcome again. We're happy you chose us. Come

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on in. Wash yourself off. Would you enjoy a bourbon

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and coke? There's a liquor store down the road.

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If you go, I need rolling papers. Well, since

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you're here, let's get this daily douchebag pledge

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out of the way. All right, bitches, swing your

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hips and pelvic thrust. Shout it out with me.

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I, Joe or Jane Listener, promise to download

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every podcast. I, Joe or Jane Listener, promise

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to make... All friends, family members, and workmates

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download the show. I, Joe or Jane Listener, promise

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to grab idle computers, work computers, friends

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computers, community computers, and other assorted

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phones and listening devices and download the

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show from there. I, Joe or Jane Listener, will

00:01:21.670 --> 00:01:24.329
download the show and constantly barrage everyone

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with show name and platforms. I, Joe or Jane

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Listener, promise to wear a chicken costume and

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screen the show's name from my front yard. And

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finally, because of our 13 -year -old boy humor,

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you must go to Knobloch Cooter Licking in Uranus,

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Missouri to take selfies with the signs. If you

00:01:42.599 --> 00:01:46.739
go to Uranus, go to the fudge factory. Yes, there's

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a fudge factory in Uranus. No joke. Here at Two

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Douchebags and a Microphone, we don't stand behind

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our journalistic integrity. Go ahead and assume

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we got the story wrong. At least we admit it.

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Not like all those other guys. We can and will

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lie if it makes the story better. Two douchebags

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and a microphone. Great news, assholes. You can

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now email the douches anytime, anywhere. In the

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middle of a job interview. No big deal. Take

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it a bath. No problems there. Tap dancing. Easy

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as pie. Just send it to 2douches at mail .com.

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Do it now, pussies, or I'll smash you in the

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junk. Ho, ho, ho. This is Crotch the Old Saint

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Prick. I'm the guy that comes in after Christmas

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and douses all your dreams and hopes. Ho, ho,

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ho. Ho, ho, ho. It's time to read another letter.

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Let's get into the bag and see what we have.

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Ah, here's a letter from little Lori. It reads,

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Dear St. Prick, All I want for Christmas is my

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mom and dad to get back together. Nothing else.

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Well, little Lori, I don't have a lot of answers,

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but I do have a poem for you. Roses are red.

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Violets are blue. Your mom is a whore. Your dad

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hasn't a clue. He is addicted to coke. Your mom

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likes to toke, and they will both die broke.

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Now get out of here, you little shit. You get

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nothing. Ho, ho, ho, ho. Hi there. This is your

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ears. Why are you listening to this garbage?

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I thought we were friends. Sir, I see your qualifications

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here. May I ask some further questions that could

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help me determine your employment eligibility?

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Yes, sir. I'm ready. Well, as you can see here,

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we have a large population of different ethnic

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backgrounds, sexuality, and ages. Are you by

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chance bilingual? Well, sir, I'm not sure why

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you need that kind of information, but, well,

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it was only one time in summer camp. I considered

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it experimental. And now we look in on the adventures

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of the technical explanation guy. Excuse me,

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my dear sir. Could you please put my plain bread

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in a small countertop appliance with heating

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elements that would spring loaded and would brown

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my bread adequately? Well, first off, I'm not

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a waiter. I'm just a guy over there sitting at

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the table having a drink. Second off, are you

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talking about someone toasting your bread? Well,

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yes. Yes, I am. I'm talking about my bread being

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toasted. Then why don't you just ask for your

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bread to be toasted, you dumb bastard? What the

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hell's wrong with you? Tomorrow morning, while

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grinding your coffee beans for your double mocha

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latte, remember to not get your genitals caught

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in the grinder. It really hurts. And who can

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afford plastic surgery? Stay safe, everyone.

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You watch the news. It looks grim. Is an apocalypse

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inevitable? We suggest you download all our podcasts

00:05:06.879 --> 00:05:10.100
beforehand and have multiple mobile chargers.

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We have the post -apocalypse. Homemade dye from

00:05:17.240 --> 00:05:20.300
plants are essential. The dyes can be used to

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mark locations on trees, even to color clothing

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or to be laid out to where footprints or paw

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prints could be left. The dye can be placed on

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the ground around the perimeter of your dwelling,

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so if you have to leave, evidence will be present

00:05:34.300 --> 00:05:39.279
to assess the situation. Two douchebags and microphone

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in an effort to keep everything fresh. We offer

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you... First world problems. Oh shit! Look at

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that drive -thru wine! Surely you don't expect

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me to actually have to go in? This sucks. Two

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douchebags and microphone. I'm Mark here in the

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Kansas City vicinity at the Talk is Cheap studio.

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Awesome. Yeah, it is. I love it. Cool. Yeah.

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Hell yeah. The RV park's a big deal too. Real

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quick, a little side note here. Johnny and O

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.P., I will tell the Elliot Snodgrass story,

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but not on this episode because it's long. Elliot

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Snodgrass was a guy that I came up with, fictional

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character, that would do evil things to people.

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But then when they would say it was me, I would

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go, it was not me, it was Elliot. And they go,

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who the fuck's Elliot? I go, Elliot Snodgrass.

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Who's that? He's over there. he's the guy that

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kicked you in the ass not me bullshit you're

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the only person here no it's elliot he's around

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the corner quit fucking quit fucking telling

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me i did it and you would argue with him just

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just vehemently argue with him and they would

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finally just get flustered and stop and go fuck

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it and walk off but then you kick him in the

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ass again and they go hey and they go it's not

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me it was elliot so i'll tell it all later it's

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a long story and i did some evil shit with elliot

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so anyhow I never did Elliot Snodgrass to you,

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did I? No. Okay, I think he came along later.

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And I don't know how he originated. I don't fucking

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know. I was probably on something. I don't know.

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No, I didn't really do drugs. I was probably

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fucking blasted in the back. No, you really didn't.

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Yeah, you were more drunk. Yeah, yeah. I was

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probably fucking smashed, hammered in the back

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of a Monte Carlo. Coming up with that shit or

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something. Anyhow, alright, Rob. We have some

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Johnny Deere news. Honestly, I would say... I

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think he'd be better on that in the evening.

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Yeah, well, just namesakes. Well, yeah, yeah.

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The Nasty is a major name. Always has been. The

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Nasty Man has been around. He used to own Shaq

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Nasty's. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, and Raymoor.

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Yeah, I remember that. Yeah. It was an under

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-21 dance club. That's what it was. And he used

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to sit in that booth, and I used to flip him

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off and piss him off so bad. Remember that booth

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back there? He'd be back there. Yeah, yeah. Well,

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I got to talk to him and kind of get to know

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him a little bit through that. Well, after I

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flipped him off a few times, I finally got to

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know him a little bit too, and he was pretty

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cool. But I just kept doing that just to see

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what he'd do. Yeah, there was nothing in Raymoor

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at the time. Mm -hmm. Pretty much... Yeah, and

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he pretty much DJ'd at most nights. Yeah. Yeah,

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it would... It would... Yeah, which is weird

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because Chuck Nasty never, he was never on 102.

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He was never on The Rock. He was never on, well,

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he's on 101 now, but he was, what was it? Was

00:10:54.059 --> 00:10:57.899
it 104? I think he started on something like

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ZZ99 or Power 95 or something. I can't fucking

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remember. I think it was like ZZ99 or something

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like that. Yeah, yeah, and I think he got in

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a little bit of trouble. I can't remember exactly

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what it was. It's like some sort of a prank or

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something. I can't fucking, damn it. Usually

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I remember this stuff really easy because this

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is the stuff I've always been into, but I can't

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really remember exactly what he did. And he got

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kicked out of Kansas City, went somewhere else,

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he came back. I can't remember, did he ever work

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at Q104 or not? I can't remember that. Oh, well.

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I don't think Chuck Nasty ever worked for KY.

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I really don't. But you know what? I'll look

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it up. Yeah, and that always surprised me because

00:12:04.809 --> 00:12:07.289
he's kind of a little bit of a more harder edge

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guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Randy Miller and the country

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shit was like young country, and that's when

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they booted everybody out of there and brought

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back Randy Miller for young country, and it worked

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for a while. I mean, they're still country, but...

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Yeah. Yeah, yeah. And also, it spawned a lot

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of careers, actually. I mean, when they kicked

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everybody out and all that, it spawned man cow.

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He went to San Francisco, no, not San Francisco,

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San Jose, no, Monterey Bay or something like

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that. One of those places there. And then I think

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he worked his way to San Francisco, and then

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he blocked the Bay Bridge on that stunt. What

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was it, a haircut? He was making fun of Bill

00:12:54.700 --> 00:12:56.259
Clinton for getting his haircut or something.

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He got a bunch of shit for that. Johnny Dare

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was spawned from there because I think Dare stayed

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at Q104 during the country time for a while.

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And then The Rock picked him up and did very

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well. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And there's some

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other people there I can't fucking think of.

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Of course, Randy Miller, of course. Oh, well.

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Oh, okay. All right. We started this with Johnny

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Dare News. Okay, hang on. okay um okay so um

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you know i can't i can't give you a local station

00:13:35.129 --> 00:13:38.409
that he's on yet but i i imagine he will be like

00:13:38.409 --> 00:13:41.070
we said but okay but you can buy his new wine

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called dirtbag cherry at peculiar winery dirtbag

00:13:45.990 --> 00:13:51.839
cherry yeah yeah at peculiar winery yep That

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lovable little town right off of I -49 in Central

00:13:55.559 --> 00:14:00.899
Cass County. Yes, that place. I could not get

00:14:00.899 --> 00:14:04.700
on that town. I have a daughter in that town

00:14:04.700 --> 00:14:08.500
and I have a son in that town. I lived in Peculiar

00:14:08.500 --> 00:14:11.419
for a little while and I am partially out of

00:14:11.419 --> 00:14:14.080
town too. Even the Flying J is kind of cool.

00:14:15.759 --> 00:14:18.720
They call it the Jerky J. They call it the Jerky

00:14:18.720 --> 00:14:24.090
J in Peculiar. Yeah, the lot lizards, they are

00:14:24.090 --> 00:14:26.070
pretty interesting walking around there. The

00:14:26.070 --> 00:14:29.190
methersons, they are pretty interesting walking

00:14:29.190 --> 00:14:30.649
around there. I can tell you that right now.

00:14:30.789 --> 00:14:32.730
Well, it's nice to know they have some work to

00:14:32.730 --> 00:14:36.950
show. Yes, yes. You've got to scrub the balls

00:14:36.950 --> 00:14:38.669
after you've been on the road for three days.

00:14:38.850 --> 00:14:42.279
You've got to scrub the balls down. So, anyhow.

00:14:43.320 --> 00:14:46.580
So this peculiar winery is selling this cherry

00:14:46.580 --> 00:14:48.500
wine called Dirtbag Cherry. It has a picture

00:14:48.500 --> 00:14:50.100
of Johnny on the front. I think it's fucking

00:14:50.100 --> 00:14:52.940
awesome. And it's also a great way to keep his

00:14:52.940 --> 00:14:55.960
name out there. And hopefully he'll get a gig

00:14:55.960 --> 00:14:58.320
here pretty soon because I think that Kansas

00:14:58.320 --> 00:15:03.059
City Radio needs him in it. And, you know, as

00:15:03.059 --> 00:15:08.950
depleted as radio is and as... oh non -productive

00:15:08.950 --> 00:15:13.230
and as much of it's not such a money maker anymore

00:15:13.230 --> 00:15:16.590
they still need some they need some kind of talent

00:15:16.590 --> 00:15:19.330
on there and he would be a perfect choice so

00:15:19.330 --> 00:15:22.429
um i mean because all the talent went away from

00:15:22.429 --> 00:15:24.889
radio they went to stuff like this you know they

00:15:24.889 --> 00:15:27.529
went to podcasts and the reason is is because

00:15:27.529 --> 00:15:29.990
radio doesn't really pay anything anymore because

00:15:29.990 --> 00:15:32.830
they don't get the ad revenue they used to because

00:15:32.830 --> 00:15:35.210
it's not sexy anymore the internet took it all

00:15:35.210 --> 00:15:37.870
over Yeah, you know, the old radio used to be

00:15:37.870 --> 00:15:41.590
sexy. Now it isn't. And so, times have changed.

00:15:42.149 --> 00:15:44.509
So, I would buy this wine just because of the

00:15:44.509 --> 00:15:47.350
name. I'm not much of a wine guy. I would, of

00:15:47.350 --> 00:15:49.549
course, need a bottle for the Talk is Cheap studio.

00:15:50.289 --> 00:15:52.509
And if I do this, I'm going to be a real dick,

00:15:52.549 --> 00:15:54.529
Rob, if I get a bottle for the Talk is Cheap

00:15:54.529 --> 00:15:56.690
studio, right? I'm going to put it right next

00:15:56.690 --> 00:16:00.570
to my ManCal baseball cap. Oh, hell yeah. Yeah,

00:16:00.570 --> 00:16:02.529
yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe they can start fighting.

00:16:02.909 --> 00:16:06.909
And then... I will put my Randy Miller book right

00:16:06.909 --> 00:16:09.070
next to it. I'm going to put my KY sticker right

00:16:09.070 --> 00:16:14.769
above it. How about that? And you, me, and one

00:16:14.769 --> 00:16:18.590
other person understands. I think Johnny will

00:16:18.590 --> 00:16:21.629
take the other two, but I think KY will come

00:16:21.629 --> 00:16:28.029
down. Yeah, you know what? My opinion. Okay,

00:16:28.309 --> 00:16:32.000
you know what? I'm not even... I thought the

00:16:32.000 --> 00:16:36.899
whole radio war thing was funny and silly. I

00:16:36.899 --> 00:16:43.000
mean, I'm pretty sure there's a lot of hard feelings

00:16:43.000 --> 00:16:45.480
because there's some stuff done that probably

00:16:45.480 --> 00:16:48.379
wasn't very cool. I'm pretty sure there's still

00:16:48.379 --> 00:16:50.960
some hard feelings and stuff. But to me, I always

00:16:50.960 --> 00:16:53.019
thought it was funny, the radio wars, you know.

00:17:03.759 --> 00:17:07.059
No, I don't think so. No, Johnny was really cool.

00:17:07.079 --> 00:17:10.559
No, no, Johnny was really cool when they took

00:17:10.559 --> 00:17:19.299
away KY. Okay, if what I understood is correct,

00:17:19.460 --> 00:17:25.160
they tried to get him at one time. They tried

00:17:25.160 --> 00:17:28.440
to get him on the station. but he didn't want

00:17:28.440 --> 00:17:33.140
to go. I don't know if that confirmed or not.

00:17:33.299 --> 00:17:35.839
I can't remember where I heard that from. But

00:17:35.839 --> 00:17:38.980
no, no, no. I believe he had Max Floyd and everybody

00:17:38.980 --> 00:17:44.079
on his show when they were unceremoniously booted

00:17:44.079 --> 00:17:46.920
because that corporation thought that they could

00:17:46.920 --> 00:17:50.160
do better without. And this is when his 99 .7

00:17:50.160 --> 00:17:53.720
KY, when they rebirthed him after the old KY

00:17:53.720 --> 00:17:57.529
was tore up by some idiot. probably from out

00:17:57.529 --> 00:18:04.130
of town. Yes. So, anyhow. Allegedly. Yeah, allegedly.

00:18:04.450 --> 00:18:09.170
So, anyhow, that whole segment there, me, you,

00:18:09.210 --> 00:18:11.390
and one other person got it. And everybody else

00:18:11.390 --> 00:18:14.309
is like, what the fuck are they talking about?

00:18:14.529 --> 00:18:18.750
So, anyhow. Alrighty. I think I'm going to start

00:18:18.750 --> 00:18:21.150
blocking people on my friends list that do the

00:18:21.150 --> 00:18:23.349
highlight all your friends to win something.

00:18:24.210 --> 00:18:28.109
That shit pisses me off. Yes, that's what I'm

00:18:28.109 --> 00:18:30.029
going into right here. Number one, those are

00:18:30.029 --> 00:18:32.390
frauds. No one is giving you a fucking brand

00:18:32.390 --> 00:18:35.390
new truck for tagging your friends. Number two,

00:18:35.490 --> 00:18:38.170
you're giving out my information. I can't afford

00:18:38.170 --> 00:18:40.809
to book a sales tax, so I don't want the fucker

00:18:40.809 --> 00:18:45.990
to pay. That's just it. Yeah, no shit. Every

00:18:45.990 --> 00:18:52.930
year you got a huge tax bill. I would just do

00:18:52.930 --> 00:18:54.809
like people do on the prices, right? They can't

00:18:54.809 --> 00:18:57.299
afford it, they sell it back. Exactly. So, yeah.

00:18:58.759 --> 00:19:00.660
Number two, you're giving out my information.

00:19:01.480 --> 00:19:06.900
No, I know, no. It's like half or less. So, number

00:19:06.900 --> 00:19:08.900
two, you're giving out my information for your

00:19:08.900 --> 00:19:12.160
benefit. I do not consider that a friend. I can't

00:19:12.160 --> 00:19:14.380
believe that in this day and age people still

00:19:14.380 --> 00:19:16.839
fall for this bullshit. Why don't I just call

00:19:16.839 --> 00:19:18.700
them up and go, hey, give me your bank account

00:19:18.700 --> 00:19:21.400
so I can put $30 ,000 in it. Give me all the

00:19:21.400 --> 00:19:32.849
numbers. Oh, sure. Okay. Um, you know, I, I'm,

00:19:32.849 --> 00:19:41.829
um, if someone pissed me off, I mean, look, I

00:19:41.829 --> 00:19:44.069
love my friends, but if you're that fucking stupid,

00:19:44.250 --> 00:19:45.970
I don't know if you want, I don't know if I want

00:19:45.970 --> 00:19:50.029
you as a friend, you know, to me, that is just

00:19:50.029 --> 00:19:53.630
ridiculous. Oh, if I tag everybody, I might,

00:19:53.650 --> 00:19:57.029
I'm probably going to get this truck. I mean,

00:19:57.130 --> 00:19:59.569
I'm sorry, man. And then the idea of them selling

00:19:59.569 --> 00:20:01.890
your information, selling you out so they can

00:20:01.890 --> 00:20:06.509
get something. Am I right? If you want to tag

00:20:06.509 --> 00:20:10.690
me in something, tag me in a baby Yoda meme or

00:20:10.690 --> 00:20:14.430
something. Yeah, in a meme that's cool. Yeah,

00:20:14.430 --> 00:20:20.319
in a meme that's cool would be all right. Yeah,

00:20:20.339 --> 00:20:22.119
you know, I mean, I could leave those people

00:20:22.119 --> 00:20:24.460
that do this their information in one of those

00:20:24.460 --> 00:20:27.099
we buy ugly homes companies and tell them I have

00:20:27.099 --> 00:20:29.019
three properties they need to get rid of pronto.

00:20:29.579 --> 00:20:32.140
That would be my form of highlighting their profile

00:20:32.140 --> 00:20:37.000
because I still get fucking from, I sold my house

00:20:37.000 --> 00:20:40.359
in Cleveland three years ago and I still get

00:20:40.359 --> 00:20:44.299
calls to this day about it. Hey, I'd like to

00:20:44.299 --> 00:20:46.240
take that property off your hands on 3rd Street.

00:20:52.019 --> 00:20:57.039
Yeah. Yeah. No, I know you're kidding. I'm sorry.

00:20:59.049 --> 00:21:02.369
I had something in my mind that I lost now. But

00:21:02.369 --> 00:21:04.369
anyhow, I was getting ready to go somewhere with

00:21:04.369 --> 00:21:07.210
that. But anyhow, it's cool. You know, I sold

00:21:07.210 --> 00:21:10.369
the fucking thing in 2022. And I have these investment

00:21:10.369 --> 00:21:12.269
companies calling me. So if they keep fucking

00:21:12.269 --> 00:21:13.690
with me, I'll get their information. I'll just

00:21:13.690 --> 00:21:16.529
turn it into those home buyers and tell them

00:21:16.529 --> 00:21:18.390
I got a few properties. I got to get rid of them

00:21:18.390 --> 00:21:20.890
right now. They will not leave them alone. They'll

00:21:20.890 --> 00:21:23.710
call them 24 -7. And that will be my form of

00:21:23.710 --> 00:21:27.670
punishment back to them. So, all right. 2douches

00:21:27.670 --> 00:21:30.460
at mail .com. Break us off an email. Hate mail

00:21:30.460 --> 00:21:34.960
goes to the front. I got a new promo that we're

00:21:34.960 --> 00:21:37.880
going to insert in every show. That is an email

00:21:37.880 --> 00:21:40.599
address. I've learned my lesson. I'm finally

00:21:40.599 --> 00:21:47.279
getting other people emailing me except the regular

00:21:47.279 --> 00:21:50.900
six or seven that we normally get. And nothing

00:21:50.900 --> 00:21:52.759
against them. We love them. But we're getting

00:21:52.759 --> 00:21:56.859
more people. Yeah, they're really entertaining.

00:22:04.779 --> 00:22:11.420
Yes, I know. I know. Yeah. I'm just going to

00:22:11.420 --> 00:22:16.460
keep my mouth shut. Ruthann was not very nice

00:22:16.460 --> 00:22:25.079
to me about the Chiefs. Doesn't matter. Doesn't

00:22:25.079 --> 00:22:29.460
matter. No, I don't care. Listen, Ruthann is

00:22:29.460 --> 00:22:33.990
okay. Ruth Ann is okay. She's a little prudish,

00:22:33.990 --> 00:22:36.710
but she's all right. She's a good listener. I've

00:22:36.710 --> 00:22:42.269
got nothing against her. Oh, she's not so happy

00:22:42.269 --> 00:22:46.869
about him right now. She's kind of... She's not

00:22:46.869 --> 00:22:49.170
happy with Joey Burrow right now. I guess he

00:22:49.170 --> 00:22:56.190
said some stuff there. Yeah, well... Yeah, well,

00:22:56.609 --> 00:22:59.839
she said... She sent me enough emails letting

00:22:59.839 --> 00:23:01.720
me know that she likes you and doesn't like me.

00:23:01.759 --> 00:23:03.799
I can tell you that right now. Just like everybody.

00:23:04.619 --> 00:23:06.680
Nobody likes me. Everybody likes you. That's

00:23:06.680 --> 00:23:10.039
fine. I don't care. It's fine. I'm glad they

00:23:10.039 --> 00:23:12.779
like you because if they didn't like you, they

00:23:12.779 --> 00:23:15.680
probably wouldn't even listen. So, all right.

00:23:16.240 --> 00:23:22.079
Yes, that's right. So, I was checking into the

00:23:22.079 --> 00:23:24.460
gun show at Thunder Ridge Amphitheater in extreme

00:23:24.460 --> 00:23:27.039
southern Missouri. Tickets for anything decent

00:23:27.039 --> 00:23:32.420
is about $300 -ish. It's a rip -off for the Gun

00:23:32.420 --> 00:23:36.559
Show, Guns N' Roses. Oh, Gun Show. Yeah, Guns

00:23:36.559 --> 00:23:39.180
N' Roses, sorry. Gun Show sounds like a gun show.

00:23:39.259 --> 00:23:43.740
No, Guns N' Roses show at Thunder Ridge. You

00:23:43.740 --> 00:23:47.180
know, I want to go, but then I got to looking

00:23:47.180 --> 00:23:49.920
at places in Branson and Eureka Springs because

00:23:49.920 --> 00:23:52.420
those are the two closest places that are cool

00:23:52.420 --> 00:23:56.279
to get a place. They're like quadruple because

00:23:56.279 --> 00:23:59.259
of the Guns N' Roses show at Thunder Ridge. So,

00:23:59.299 --> 00:24:04.420
I'm not sure. I'd rather go to Triumph and April

00:24:04.420 --> 00:24:08.039
Wine, and then you were saying Styx and Cheap

00:24:08.039 --> 00:24:13.319
Trick. Hang on. Okay. That's my next story. Oh,

00:24:13.319 --> 00:24:30.400
sorry. Okay. Okay, we're going. I will pay. Okay.

00:24:30.519 --> 00:24:33.940
I will pay. All right, and two bands. Two bands

00:24:33.940 --> 00:24:36.240
that I always wanted to see on YouTube, but we

00:24:36.240 --> 00:24:40.200
never got the opportunity. Both of us. Yes. We

00:24:40.200 --> 00:24:42.640
have not gotten to see either one. That will

00:24:42.640 --> 00:24:47.400
be May 16th. May 16th at Starlight. Starlight

00:24:47.400 --> 00:24:55.309
Theater, Swope Park, Kansas City, Missouri. Hey,

00:24:55.430 --> 00:24:58.670
yes, we will. Hey, we could do a podcast from

00:24:58.670 --> 00:25:03.329
out on the lawn. And then we'll just... Well,

00:25:03.349 --> 00:25:06.670
we can't inside the amphitheater. We can outside

00:25:06.670 --> 00:25:11.910
on the lawn. Yes, yeah, yeah. And I would want

00:25:11.910 --> 00:25:16.670
to do a podcast during the show. You know what?

00:25:16.789 --> 00:25:18.809
All that's going to take a lot of different this

00:25:18.809 --> 00:25:24.559
and that, so we'll get to that later. So... Okay,

00:25:24.579 --> 00:25:29.559
yes, we will. So the $600 for Val and I to go

00:25:29.559 --> 00:25:33.519
to Guns N' Roses and $700 to rentals could buy

00:25:33.519 --> 00:25:35.880
us both plane tickets to the beach. I'm thinking

00:25:35.880 --> 00:25:39.019
that's my best avenue. Plus, in September, you

00:25:39.019 --> 00:25:41.380
can actually get better deals on hotels and resorts

00:25:41.380 --> 00:25:44.779
in Florida anyhow. So, Rob, I think I'm out of

00:25:44.779 --> 00:25:47.400
the Guns N' Roses business. Love them, but I'd

00:25:47.400 --> 00:25:54.569
rather be at the beach. Yeah, look, I mean, they

00:25:54.569 --> 00:25:57.009
wanted to price regular people out. Well, I guess

00:25:57.009 --> 00:26:00.029
they did, didn't they? No compete. Can't do it.

00:26:00.049 --> 00:26:02.230
Just can't do it. You guys price me out. I accept

00:26:02.230 --> 00:26:06.190
it. Not going to go. Yep, you guys got me. All

00:26:06.190 --> 00:26:08.470
right, so I see where people are buying things

00:26:08.470 --> 00:26:11.430
like the Grinch on the shelf, kind of like Elf

00:26:11.430 --> 00:26:14.089
on the Shelf, but only it's a Grinch. Have you

00:26:14.089 --> 00:26:17.009
seen those? People are putting them on the shelf.

00:26:17.109 --> 00:26:19.309
For a long time it was Elf on the Shelf. Now

00:26:19.309 --> 00:26:21.650
it's Grinch on the Shelf. It's kind of like a

00:26:21.650 --> 00:26:25.349
big thing now. I hate to take a dump on something,

00:26:25.490 --> 00:26:27.210
but there's something like this that's much,

00:26:27.309 --> 00:26:29.750
much better. I would love to introduce to you,

00:26:29.809 --> 00:26:32.890
Rob, and everyone else, Ozzy on the Shelf. I'm

00:26:32.890 --> 00:26:38.630
not kidding. Ozzy on the Shelf. Michael Anthony,

00:26:38.890 --> 00:26:49.279
former bassist for Van Halen. Oh, Ozzy on the

00:26:49.279 --> 00:26:50.920
Shelf is the coolest thing you could ever do

00:26:50.920 --> 00:26:56.039
in your house. Yeah, yeah. So, Michael Anthony,

00:26:56.160 --> 00:27:03.640
the forward bassist for Van Halen. Well, she'll

00:27:03.640 --> 00:27:10.059
run her cut first, right? Just kidding. Yes,

00:27:10.220 --> 00:27:16.029
yes. So, Michael Anthony, you know... Van Halen,

00:27:16.049 --> 00:27:18.849
Chicken Foot, and other bands. On his Instagram,

00:27:19.029 --> 00:27:21.970
he had an Aussie on the shelf. Now, I can't find

00:27:21.970 --> 00:27:24.740
that specific one. but I have found ones kind

00:27:24.740 --> 00:27:28.880
of like his Aussie elf. McFarlane Toys has a

00:27:28.880 --> 00:27:30.940
couple of options, but it's more of a mini statue,

00:27:31.200 --> 00:27:33.500
and it's pretty expensive as well. I think it

00:27:33.500 --> 00:27:35.799
might be pewter or something. The one thing I

00:27:35.799 --> 00:27:38.819
can get is the new t -shirt offered by the Aussie

00:27:38.819 --> 00:27:41.799
camp. This is a direct reply to that idiot Roger

00:27:41.799 --> 00:27:44.359
Waters from Pink Floyd's comments that pretty

00:27:44.359 --> 00:27:46.539
much took a shit on Aussie's legacy. Remember

00:27:46.539 --> 00:27:51.250
that? Yeah, and then Jack came back and called

00:27:51.250 --> 00:27:53.029
him a cunt and all that and said, my dad always

00:27:53.029 --> 00:27:55.690
hated you and all that, which was great. The

00:27:55.690 --> 00:28:00.509
shirt has Ozzy. I loved it. It was great. The

00:28:00.509 --> 00:28:02.890
shirt has Ozzy pissing a rainbow -colored stream

00:28:02.890 --> 00:28:05.569
on a replica of the wall by Pink Floyd's album

00:28:05.569 --> 00:28:08.609
cover. The caption says, another prick in the

00:28:08.609 --> 00:28:12.859
wall. Yeah, and they're selling those shirts.

00:28:12.980 --> 00:28:14.940
It's very clever, and it's a smack in Waters'

00:28:15.180 --> 00:28:19.559
ugly face by making money while mocking his stupidity.

00:28:20.259 --> 00:28:25.319
Yeah, they're making cash off of his stupidity.

00:28:25.319 --> 00:28:28.019
He's not making a dime. People are laughing at

00:28:28.019 --> 00:28:30.740
him and buying the shirts going, Rogers Waters

00:28:30.740 --> 00:28:33.859
is a stupid fuck, and I got this cool shirt.

00:28:34.039 --> 00:28:36.910
I mean, it's really brilliant. I mean, when they

00:28:36.910 --> 00:28:39.549
came up with that idea, it was brilliant because

00:28:39.549 --> 00:28:42.670
that's good. So Topher is getting one, and I

00:28:42.670 --> 00:28:44.349
think I will follow. I think we're both going

00:28:44.349 --> 00:28:46.329
to have an Aussie pissing on the wall shirt,

00:28:46.450 --> 00:28:48.430
and we're probably going to wear it down to the

00:28:48.430 --> 00:28:50.970
city market every time we go podcast. Does that

00:28:50.970 --> 00:28:56.789
sound good? Okay. How much are they? You know

00:28:56.789 --> 00:28:58.450
what? I'll have to look online, but I'll tell

00:28:58.450 --> 00:29:00.150
you here in a minute, okay, after I'm done with

00:29:00.150 --> 00:29:03.630
this monologue or whatever. When you find out,

00:29:03.670 --> 00:29:09.059
let me know. I may order one. Okay. Or maybe...

00:29:09.059 --> 00:29:13.519
I may throw in another shirt on your guys' sword.

00:29:14.299 --> 00:29:17.859
Okay. All right. We'll talk about that off of

00:29:17.859 --> 00:29:21.819
the podcast. I still have your new douchebags

00:29:21.819 --> 00:29:24.279
and microphone shirts. Oh, I can't wait to get

00:29:24.279 --> 00:29:29.180
that. I love it. The original. Yep. Yeah, in

00:29:29.180 --> 00:29:34.289
the real email. I remember the good old days

00:29:34.289 --> 00:29:36.309
when me and Topher would just make emails up

00:29:36.309 --> 00:29:39.549
when we didn't have one. We'd say at lightghost

00:29:39.549 --> 00:29:43.029
.com, at excite .com. All these places don't

00:29:43.029 --> 00:29:47.450
exist anymore. Minespring. So, all right. I usually

00:29:47.450 --> 00:29:49.470
stay away from McDonald's, but this time I have

00:29:49.470 --> 00:29:51.529
to admit, I might just have to run to one of

00:29:51.529 --> 00:29:53.869
the stores only because they have a new Grinch

00:29:53.869 --> 00:29:56.829
meal. The chicken nuggets are fine. The Big Mac

00:29:56.829 --> 00:29:59.670
is okay. But what I'm after is the dill pickle

00:29:59.670 --> 00:30:03.569
shaker for your fries. This is dill pickle seasoning

00:30:03.569 --> 00:30:06.869
that you shake on your fries, Rob. It's only

00:30:06.869 --> 00:30:11.329
available in a Grinch meal. It's called Grinch

00:30:11.329 --> 00:30:20.750
salt. Okay. You don't think that's good? Dill

00:30:20.750 --> 00:30:24.349
flavored fries. I mean, I... I heard a story

00:30:24.349 --> 00:30:33.900
somewhere about that Grinch meal. Mm -hmm. What?

00:30:34.000 --> 00:30:36.779
Oh, okay. All right. Well, we can let you get

00:30:36.779 --> 00:30:41.019
to that. Well, I don't have the story in front

00:30:41.019 --> 00:30:43.799
of me tonight, I don't think, but I got it saved.

00:30:44.660 --> 00:30:47.799
It's just the price of it. It ain't worth it.

00:30:48.900 --> 00:30:51.299
Well, all I want to do is get some of that Grinch

00:30:51.299 --> 00:30:55.900
salt. It's for the name. It's a Grinch. It's

00:30:55.900 --> 00:31:02.269
a special thing. You know what? Oh, fuck that.

00:31:02.349 --> 00:31:04.670
All right, let me take a look here. I bet you

00:31:04.670 --> 00:31:11.789
I can get dill -flavored salt. All right, I got

00:31:11.789 --> 00:31:14.529
more, but you know what? Let's go to you, Rob.

00:31:14.710 --> 00:31:21.289
Let's hear what you got. Yeah, you do, and you

00:31:21.289 --> 00:31:26.170
also have a deer story. Something about a deer

00:31:26.170 --> 00:31:35.279
story, Rob, you're wanting to tell? Guess what?

00:31:35.339 --> 00:31:38.960
You can buy dill pickle popcorn seasoning. Two

00:31:38.960 --> 00:31:42.960
-pack, tangy snack blend with premium dill and

00:31:42.960 --> 00:31:46.940
vinegar. It is $14 .99 for two of them on Amazon.

00:31:48.039 --> 00:31:50.579
There's a bunch of different dill pickles salts.

00:31:50.799 --> 00:31:53.559
Fuck McDonald's. All right. Go ahead, Rob. I'm

00:31:53.559 --> 00:32:14.190
sorry. I believe that's when you first introduced

00:32:14.190 --> 00:32:16.890
it. Yeah, it was the day we podcasted, but I

00:32:16.890 --> 00:32:19.289
did not get around to telling about it. No, you

00:32:19.289 --> 00:32:22.470
told me afterwards you forgot to tell. Yeah.

00:32:23.329 --> 00:32:28.329
Well, we... I'm living in Wheatland and driving

00:32:28.329 --> 00:32:32.809
to Camden, which is... Okay, from Wheatland to

00:32:32.809 --> 00:32:36.029
Camden is 39 miles. That's another, like, two

00:32:36.029 --> 00:33:17.680
and a half miles to my job. Uh -huh. Mm hmm.

00:34:30.119 --> 00:35:04.809
Mm -hmm. Wow. But yeah, this truck clipped this

00:35:04.809 --> 00:35:10.130
deer. And it did like two cartwheels of air,

00:35:10.210 --> 00:35:16.010
like 10, 12 foot air. Flew 30 foot, landed on

00:35:16.010 --> 00:35:38.369
its belly. Oh man. Oh, man. It was a little live,

00:35:38.489 --> 00:35:43.289
but it got hooked and brought off. But the funny

00:35:43.289 --> 00:35:47.469
thing is, the old boy, Josh Pickup, never hit

00:35:47.469 --> 00:35:49.829
the fucking bridge. He just kept on rolling.

00:35:50.110 --> 00:35:53.469
That's funny. I followed him all the way through

00:35:53.469 --> 00:36:36.539
Bass Creek. Mm -hmm. That's funny. Okay. Yeah.

00:36:49.599 --> 00:36:52.179
Okay. You have a bag of garbage, I understand.

00:36:56.699 --> 00:37:03.500
Hello? Did you want me to get my concert announcement?

00:37:03.639 --> 00:37:06.159
Oh, that's right. Go ahead and go to your concert

00:37:06.159 --> 00:37:09.639
announcement. I was going to get to my Lake Erie

00:37:09.639 --> 00:37:11.780
news, but you didn't. Oh, no, no, no. No, go

00:37:11.780 --> 00:37:13.739
to your Lake Erie news, because I misunderstood.

00:37:18.159 --> 00:37:22.119
Yeah. Okay, I misunderstood. You just had to

00:37:22.119 --> 00:37:25.059
be there to see that dude. That daredevil, the

00:37:25.059 --> 00:37:29.159
flinch, land, take off. Okay, earlier. Yeah,

00:37:29.340 --> 00:38:56.780
he flew 30 foot. Okay. Sounds good to me. That's

00:38:56.780 --> 00:39:02.539
not bad. Yeah, $149 .50 puts you down below.

00:39:02.820 --> 00:39:05.599
Yeah, that's good tickets. Like I was saying,

00:39:05.840 --> 00:39:09.239
Guns N' Roses, just to get a halfway decent seat

00:39:09.239 --> 00:39:12.940
is over $300. So I'd rather go to that. Yeah,

00:39:12.940 --> 00:39:16.360
that's a Black Oak, too. No, no, no, no. It's

00:39:16.360 --> 00:39:19.920
a Thunder Ridge, not Black Oak. Oh, Thunder Ridge,

00:39:20.079 --> 00:39:25.039
yeah. Well, used to be the same thing. No. No,

00:39:25.239 --> 00:39:30.000
they're too different. Anyhow, it doesn't matter.

00:39:32.079 --> 00:39:36.340
Yeah, yeah. No, I get it. Actually, Black Oak,

00:39:36.440 --> 00:39:38.420
I bet, will be put out of business because of

00:39:38.420 --> 00:39:41.539
them. Don't you think? It's too close. I mean,

00:39:41.559 --> 00:39:46.980
they're within like 10 miles. No, they had a

00:39:46.980 --> 00:39:49.159
bunch of tribute bands last year that I don't

00:39:49.159 --> 00:39:51.920
want to drive all the way there to see. yeah

00:39:51.920 --> 00:39:53.719
they really didn't have anything much at all

00:39:53.719 --> 00:39:57.739
so i mean they're kind of um yeah i think they're

00:39:57.739 --> 00:39:59.880
probably going to go under thunder ridge is going

00:39:59.880 --> 00:40:02.400
to get all the premium concerts and they're going

00:40:02.400 --> 00:40:04.599
to get the stuff that you know that people pay

00:40:04.599 --> 00:40:06.699
10 bucks to get into they're not going to make

00:40:06.699 --> 00:40:09.760
a lot of money like that so um all right do you

00:40:09.760 --> 00:40:11.179
want to take our first break and then come back

00:40:11.179 --> 00:40:14.420
with some emails sounds good all right we'll

00:40:14.420 --> 00:40:21.230
be right back people often ask How do we cram

00:40:21.230 --> 00:40:24.130
so much funny into one little show? Well, it's

00:40:24.130 --> 00:40:27.050
simple. We buy funny in bulk on the Internet.

00:40:27.989 --> 00:40:30.590
Hey, Mark, you're wanted at the front door. There's

00:40:30.590 --> 00:40:32.730
a big bag of funny they need you to sign for.

00:40:33.829 --> 00:40:35.989
Okay, thanks a lot. I'll be right there. I'm

00:40:35.989 --> 00:40:37.949
still sorting out the funny we got from yesterday.

00:40:38.710 --> 00:40:41.170
There's your answer. We buy funny in bulk on

00:40:41.170 --> 00:40:44.050
the Internet. As much fun as an electric can

00:40:44.050 --> 00:40:47.030
opener to the scrotum, two douchebags and a microphone.

00:40:51.849 --> 00:40:58.789
Deep thoughts with Mark. If I were floating in

00:40:58.789 --> 00:41:02.690
outer space, if I was to paddle my arms and legs,

00:41:02.869 --> 00:41:13.349
would I float faster? I may never know. Slash

00:41:13.349 --> 00:41:15.670
was on Eddie Trunk's Trunk Nation the other day.

00:41:15.789 --> 00:41:18.010
Eddie asked Slash if they planned on doing any

00:41:18.010 --> 00:41:21.409
U .S. dates next year. Slash's reply was, yes,

00:41:21.429 --> 00:41:23.849
we are doing a U .S. tour next year as well as

00:41:23.849 --> 00:41:26.170
another album. He said they have more than enough

00:41:26.170 --> 00:41:28.829
material for a full album. This is great news

00:41:28.829 --> 00:41:31.610
for all the Guns N' Roses fans, including myself.

00:41:50.000 --> 00:41:55.159
So I made you one letter. Good job. Have you

00:41:55.159 --> 00:41:57.300
ever wondered what something is about? Have you

00:41:57.300 --> 00:41:59.400
ever looked at something and said, Hey, I wonder

00:41:59.400 --> 00:42:02.300
what the origin of that is? Well, so have we.

00:42:02.920 --> 00:42:07.440
That's why we give you The Origin Of. This is

00:42:07.440 --> 00:42:11.679
the origin of Rob Rad's loincloth. Rob used to

00:42:11.679 --> 00:42:14.539
strip in a nightclub called McCock's on the city's

00:42:14.539 --> 00:42:17.460
east side. Rob was the only completely new dancer

00:42:17.460 --> 00:42:19.860
at the club. The other dancers were jealous of

00:42:19.860 --> 00:42:22.099
Rob making all the cash and made him use a loincloth

00:42:22.099 --> 00:42:24.860
to dance with. Rob soon had to wear his loincloth

00:42:24.860 --> 00:42:27.099
daily. He found out that he could get out of

00:42:27.099 --> 00:42:29.719
traffic tickets, sell vinyl siding, and pick

00:42:29.719 --> 00:42:32.199
up hotties at the come and go. Rob now wears

00:42:32.199 --> 00:42:34.739
his loincloth everywhere except work. Sparks

00:42:34.739 --> 00:42:38.219
plus pubic hair equals to bad things. I have

00:42:38.219 --> 00:42:41.800
a pet termite I call Clint. Wow, no shit. How

00:42:41.800 --> 00:42:46.019
strange. Yeah, I call it Clint Eats Wood. Hey,

00:42:46.059 --> 00:42:48.840
look. I think we found land. Oh, my God. I think

00:42:48.840 --> 00:42:52.980
we're safe. Oh, no. It's an island of horrible

00:42:52.980 --> 00:42:59.780
jokes. Someone took the fifth month out of my

00:42:59.780 --> 00:43:04.880
calendar. I'm dismayed. Ms. Gulkenstein was tired

00:43:04.880 --> 00:43:07.440
of Mark and Toe for making sport of her. Little

00:43:07.440 --> 00:43:10.000
did the douchebags know Ms. Gulkenstein was a

00:43:10.000 --> 00:43:13.019
voodoo high priestess when she was younger. She

00:43:13.019 --> 00:43:16.449
grew angry and cast a spell on Rob. Changing

00:43:16.449 --> 00:43:21.090
Rob into a capuchin monkey. Mark took Rob to

00:43:21.090 --> 00:43:23.070
a local zoo so he could be with the other monkeys.

00:43:23.409 --> 00:43:27.250
Here are the adventures of Rob, the capuchin

00:43:27.250 --> 00:43:32.550
monkey. Shh, be very quiet. We're going to listen

00:43:32.550 --> 00:43:35.210
in as Rob, the capuchin monkey, tries to sell

00:43:35.210 --> 00:43:38.170
the rest of the capuchin monkeys Amway. Rob has

00:43:38.170 --> 00:43:40.610
always dreamed of becoming a diamond status Amway

00:43:40.610 --> 00:44:04.820
as a capuchin monkey. Little did our hero Rob

00:44:04.820 --> 00:44:08.260
know. All the great apes owned stock in Sam's

00:44:08.260 --> 00:44:10.380
Club and became violently pissed off when he

00:44:10.380 --> 00:44:13.159
tried to infringe on their territory. They promptly

00:44:13.159 --> 00:44:15.340
grabbed switches and beat his ass for three days

00:44:15.340 --> 00:44:19.500
straight. Rob could not sit down. Hey, good kid.

00:44:19.639 --> 00:44:21.780
No one gives an ounce of shit what you had for

00:44:21.780 --> 00:44:24.199
breakfast. Not even the person on the other end.

00:44:24.340 --> 00:44:27.099
You look like a mentally slow driv yelling into

00:44:27.099 --> 00:44:29.719
thin air all through the store. I pray that Bluetooth

00:44:29.719 --> 00:44:32.559
shorts you out and blows up your eardrums. What

00:44:32.559 --> 00:44:35.480
men consider self -centered dunce. Bonnie constantly

00:44:35.480 --> 00:44:38.280
coddled this dummy and it fucking shows. Go look

00:44:38.280 --> 00:44:40.679
back home and bore your dog. Wait, you probably

00:44:40.679 --> 00:44:42.440
forgot the theme and because you're too busy

00:44:42.440 --> 00:45:01.610
looking in the mirror all day. Fuck off. Please

00:45:01.610 --> 00:45:03.909
enjoy Brick Shithouse Energy Drink responsibly.

00:45:03.969 --> 00:45:06.809
It's not readily available anywhere because of

00:45:06.809 --> 00:45:09.969
liability issues. Continue in our quest here

00:45:09.969 --> 00:45:13.210
at Two Douchebags and a Microphone to be constantly

00:45:13.210 --> 00:45:18.130
funny. Once again, we offer you strange insults

00:45:18.130 --> 00:45:23.190
from an alien. You always get it from your computer

00:45:23.190 --> 00:45:36.159
when your headphones still attach. All right,

00:45:36.239 --> 00:45:38.239
we're two douchebags in microphone, and I just

00:45:38.239 --> 00:45:40.199
completely fucked this whole thing up, but I

00:45:40.199 --> 00:45:42.880
erased it too soon. Rob said leave it in, and

00:45:42.880 --> 00:45:44.960
I was going to, but I already erased it, so you

00:45:44.960 --> 00:45:47.940
don't get to hear it. But anyhow, I am Mark here.

00:45:48.920 --> 00:45:54.400
Mark, it was. Anyhow, I'm Mark here at the Talk

00:45:54.400 --> 00:46:19.179
is Cheap studio in Kansas City. It is a beautiful

00:46:19.179 --> 00:46:22.840
RV park. You can look up the RV park online.

00:46:25.039 --> 00:46:33.380
I think it's awesome. Yeah, it's fucking good

00:46:33.380 --> 00:46:37.619
to me. I mean, actually, I kind of started it

00:46:37.619 --> 00:46:39.579
because I kept giving you shit going, hey, the

00:46:39.579 --> 00:46:42.139
beautiful Niagara Arm and all this stuff. And

00:46:42.139 --> 00:46:44.260
then you just started adding stuff to it. And

00:46:44.260 --> 00:46:58.090
it's like, this is perfect. Yeah, and also Rob

00:46:58.090 --> 00:47:04.969
has a bunker I Looked at it online. It is a nice

00:47:04.969 --> 00:47:08.349
-looking RV park. It really is. All right. I

00:47:08.349 --> 00:47:14.449
got some emails Oh Hang on hang on let me pause

00:47:14.449 --> 00:47:18.050
Okay, so nobody can get that information because

00:47:18.050 --> 00:47:24.030
we paused it and we're sorry. It's very Yes,

00:47:24.210 --> 00:47:28.909
you guys cannot have it. So... Alright, my first...

00:47:28.909 --> 00:47:33.769
What happened was I just explained exactly where

00:47:33.769 --> 00:47:39.309
I live. And now he understands. I do. I gotta

00:47:39.309 --> 00:47:42.969
be careful. Yep. Yes. Like you said, there's

00:47:42.969 --> 00:47:47.550
a douchebag mobile in your driveway. Yeah, it's

00:47:47.550 --> 00:47:53.170
not that hard to figure out. So... All right,

00:47:53.289 --> 00:47:56.190
first email. Hey, guys, Mitch and Clint are the

00:47:56.190 --> 00:47:59.389
same person. Thought I would let you know. Josh

00:47:59.389 --> 00:48:04.409
in Cass County. You know, I think this guy is

00:48:04.409 --> 00:48:07.269
correct, this Josh guy. I always wondered that

00:48:07.269 --> 00:48:09.469
because when they both emailed, it was within

00:48:09.469 --> 00:48:11.750
a couple of minutes of each other. I thought

00:48:11.750 --> 00:48:13.570
they either knew each other really well or it

00:48:13.570 --> 00:48:18.329
was the same person. There are two different

00:48:18.329 --> 00:48:22.099
emails. I checked them all out. But I think he's

00:48:22.099 --> 00:48:23.980
using two different emails. I think this Josh

00:48:23.980 --> 00:48:26.699
guy is correct because I got to looking at old

00:48:26.699 --> 00:48:31.699
emails. And Clint, well, when Clint used to email

00:48:31.699 --> 00:48:33.980
and Mitch, it was within a couple of minutes

00:48:33.980 --> 00:48:36.639
of each other. So I think this guy is correct,

00:48:36.760 --> 00:48:41.380
this Josh guy. Even when Clint was down in Arkansas?

00:48:42.639 --> 00:48:46.900
Supposedly. I don't know. Maybe he wasn't. You

00:48:46.900 --> 00:48:51.579
haven't checked. um no i i i'm not sure what

00:48:51.579 --> 00:48:54.860
episodes those started in so i can't yeah i'm

00:48:54.860 --> 00:48:57.019
not gonna listen to like 30 of them just to figure

00:48:57.019 --> 00:49:02.519
it out so um i i mean i i mean in the last i

00:49:02.519 --> 00:49:06.920
don't know emails that i got um the ones from

00:49:06.920 --> 00:49:08.880
before was a different email that i don't have

00:49:08.880 --> 00:49:11.579
anymore so i can't get that information so i

00:49:11.579 --> 00:49:13.719
have to listen to the shows for it you see what

00:49:13.719 --> 00:49:16.389
i mean And I don't know what show they were in,

00:49:16.409 --> 00:49:18.989
but I know in the last three months, whenever

00:49:18.989 --> 00:49:21.070
I was getting something from Clint, it was a

00:49:21.070 --> 00:49:23.429
couple of minutes before or after I got something

00:49:23.429 --> 00:49:27.550
from Mitch. So I do think that this Josh guy

00:49:27.550 --> 00:49:30.769
is correct. It doesn't matter, though. It's entertaining.

00:49:31.150 --> 00:49:36.809
Okay, Josh, let me ask you something. What did

00:49:36.809 --> 00:49:42.489
Mitch do to you to bring this out? This is all

00:49:42.489 --> 00:49:45.400
he sent me. I don't believe I've ever had Josh

00:49:45.400 --> 00:49:49.579
in Cass County email us. I don't think so. I

00:49:49.579 --> 00:49:52.119
looked back for a little bit. I didn't have all

00:49:52.119 --> 00:49:54.699
day. I only had a couple of minutes, and I couldn't

00:49:54.699 --> 00:49:57.380
find anything from him. So I think he's a new

00:49:57.380 --> 00:50:02.980
emailer. Could this be, yeah, this is somebody

00:50:02.980 --> 00:50:06.840
that's in with him that knows him. Either that

00:50:06.840 --> 00:50:10.139
or it's someone, maybe Mitch said, hey, screw

00:50:10.139 --> 00:50:12.159
with him or something. I don't know. Who knows?

00:50:15.679 --> 00:50:21.920
Oh, I sent him a reply. I'm like, dude, make

00:50:21.920 --> 00:50:23.400
yourself known. We want to hear a little bit

00:50:23.400 --> 00:50:27.480
more about you. You sound interesting. Okay,

00:50:27.480 --> 00:50:33.760
this is getting even better then. All right.

00:50:37.960 --> 00:50:44.280
That would all be Cass County. Hmm. All right.

00:50:44.320 --> 00:50:49.460
Okay. All right. Next one. Mark, I forgot all

00:50:49.460 --> 00:50:51.920
about crotch. The old St. Prick. You brought

00:50:51.920 --> 00:50:56.019
him back. Love it. Wilson in St. Pete. Uh, yeah,

00:50:56.119 --> 00:51:00.519
I got a brand new one. Actually, I got a brand

00:51:00.519 --> 00:51:03.199
new one. And let me tell you this. If you thought

00:51:03.199 --> 00:51:06.079
the other ones were rough, this one is the worst.

00:51:06.239 --> 00:51:10.619
It's horrible. This one is terrible. I mean,

00:51:10.639 --> 00:51:13.619
even worse than cooking the little girl's hamster

00:51:13.619 --> 00:51:17.440
and eating it in a stew. This one's worse than

00:51:17.440 --> 00:51:19.980
that, dude. I fucking went all out. I was in

00:51:19.980 --> 00:51:23.380
an evil mood. This one's horrible. It makes you

00:51:23.380 --> 00:51:29.119
cringe. All right. I'm glad you like it, Wilson.

00:51:29.199 --> 00:51:31.639
Thank you. And I've got, like I said, I got a

00:51:31.639 --> 00:51:34.739
new one, and I'm working on another new one because,

00:51:34.800 --> 00:51:37.559
I mean, we were doing the same three, wasn't

00:51:37.559 --> 00:51:42.460
it, for a couple of years now? Yeah, so it's

00:51:42.460 --> 00:51:44.880
time to bring a couple new ones in. All right.

00:51:45.360 --> 00:51:47.920
Mark, I like your new segment, Strange Phobias.

00:51:47.940 --> 00:51:50.460
I believe you were wanting feedback. Ronnie in

00:51:50.460 --> 00:51:54.559
Tulsa. Ronnie, thank you. If you like it, I'm

00:51:54.559 --> 00:51:57.719
on the right track. Wouldn't you agree? Yes.

00:51:57.739 --> 00:52:03.780
Thank you, Ronnie. Thank you. Yeah, yeah. Ronnie's

00:52:03.780 --> 00:52:06.940
doing well. He's got a little plan, and he thinks

00:52:06.940 --> 00:52:25.260
it's going to work. Well, Ronnie's degree doesn't

00:52:25.260 --> 00:52:28.699
match what he does. So he's got to kind of be

00:52:28.699 --> 00:52:33.239
careful on getting into this in the same field

00:52:33.239 --> 00:52:35.860
without really giving away too much. So he's,

00:52:35.860 --> 00:52:38.539
but he's got a little plan and he thinks it's

00:52:38.539 --> 00:52:40.539
going to work. So, you know, Ronnie, and he's

00:52:40.539 --> 00:52:42.440
going to keep in touch. He can't email as much

00:52:42.440 --> 00:52:48.679
as he used to, but he will. So yeah, it is good

00:52:48.679 --> 00:52:50.639
to hear from him. All right, next one. Mark,

00:52:50.840 --> 00:52:53.639
does Wilmington, Delaware have a good Reuben

00:52:53.639 --> 00:52:57.480
sandwich and where, please? Tony Z in North Carolina.

00:52:58.719 --> 00:53:01.420
I've been through there a couple of times, courtesy

00:53:01.420 --> 00:53:05.659
I -95. I only stopped at like an Exxon station

00:53:05.659 --> 00:53:07.679
or something like that or a Shell station to

00:53:07.679 --> 00:53:10.429
get fuel. I have no idea. I've never stopped

00:53:10.429 --> 00:53:13.250
in Wilmington, Delaware. I always fly. Whenever

00:53:13.250 --> 00:53:15.510
I was doing work around there, I would fly into

00:53:15.510 --> 00:53:18.329
Philadelphia International. Wilmington, Delaware

00:53:18.329 --> 00:53:21.210
is actually a suburb of Philadelphia. People

00:53:21.210 --> 00:53:26.889
don't know it. Okay. And I never stopped. Oh,

00:53:29.070 --> 00:53:31.369
you know what? You're right. Yeah, I don't know.

00:53:31.429 --> 00:53:34.710
I've never had a Reuben or anything. I just got

00:53:34.710 --> 00:53:36.710
gas in Wilmington one time, and that was it.

00:53:37.260 --> 00:53:39.559
So I wish I could help you on that, but I don't

00:53:39.559 --> 00:53:44.519
have any information at all. So, hey guys, could

00:53:44.519 --> 00:53:48.239
you have Topher answer this one on one of the

00:53:48.239 --> 00:53:51.360
shows? Where is a good online outlet to buy a

00:53:51.360 --> 00:53:54.500
decent guitar? Jackson in Port Richey. And tomorrow

00:53:54.500 --> 00:53:57.340
when we're doing the sports bastards and the

00:53:57.340 --> 00:53:59.519
music creeps, I'll bring that up to him and he

00:53:59.519 --> 00:54:03.659
will answer it on that. So Jackson in Port Richey,

00:54:03.719 --> 00:54:08.099
which I believe is, I think that's Tampa. Anyhow,

00:54:08.099 --> 00:54:10.679
thank you. Thank you, Jackson. Appreciate it.

00:54:12.860 --> 00:54:17.000
This one's funny. Rob, have you ever racked yourself

00:54:17.000 --> 00:54:22.639
on the bar of a 10 -speed? Jimmy in Iowa. What

00:54:22.639 --> 00:54:30.019
the fuck? Do I know you? I don't know Jimmy in

00:54:30.019 --> 00:54:35.440
Iowa. Do you know any Jimmys in Iowa? He's a

00:54:35.440 --> 00:54:52.599
new emailer, by the way. Oh, okay. Oh, shit.

00:54:52.960 --> 00:54:57.539
He must know you. He must know you because it

00:54:57.539 --> 00:55:05.170
sounds like you got a story about this. No, he

00:55:05.170 --> 00:55:07.690
asked you, not me. He asked you specifically.

00:55:08.909 --> 00:55:14.969
Uh -huh. Oh, yeah, I remember those. I hated

00:55:14.969 --> 00:55:52.400
those. Mm -hmm. Yeah. Well, I'm going specifically,

00:55:53.179 --> 00:55:59.579
he asked you specifically. I mean, why would

00:55:59.579 --> 00:56:02.159
he ask you specifically? I think he knows you.

00:56:04.280 --> 00:56:08.230
Yeah. He asked you specifically. Okay. Anyhow,

00:56:08.250 --> 00:56:12.969
hopefully he makes himself known. Give us more.

00:56:13.250 --> 00:56:17.570
Yep, just like Josh in Cass County. All right.

00:56:18.969 --> 00:56:24.829
Mark and Rob, quick help. How did they write?

00:56:25.530 --> 00:56:30.469
Mark and Rob, quick help. Okay. I need a good

00:56:30.469 --> 00:56:32.989
baked lasagna recipe. I'm having an important

00:56:32.989 --> 00:56:38.250
guest over. Thanks. Bill in Toronto. From Walmart

00:56:38.250 --> 00:56:45.110
Frozen. Yeah. Yeah. Stouffer's. Stouffer's. Yeah.

00:56:45.269 --> 00:56:54.289
Okay. Easy. Yeah. Very quick. Bill, I got really

00:56:54.289 --> 00:56:56.489
good at Italian cooking. I learned a lot about

00:56:56.489 --> 00:56:58.750
it. I'm very interested in it. I love Italian

00:56:58.750 --> 00:57:01.050
cooking, and I love Italian food. I can tell

00:57:01.050 --> 00:57:03.329
you a couple of pointers without getting really

00:57:03.329 --> 00:57:08.949
boring with a recipe. I'm just joking. No, yeah,

00:57:09.170 --> 00:57:13.230
it's fun. Okay, noodles, you soak them in the

00:57:13.230 --> 00:57:17.349
lemon juice, whether lasagna noodles, ziti, doesn't

00:57:17.349 --> 00:57:20.110
matter, whatever it is. Soak them in lemon juice.

00:57:20.860 --> 00:57:24.619
And before you cook them. It makes all the difference

00:57:24.619 --> 00:57:27.300
in the whole world on the flavor. Throw in a

00:57:27.300 --> 00:57:29.599
little oregano on top of them after you drain

00:57:29.599 --> 00:57:32.739
the water out. Shake it up really good. And add

00:57:32.739 --> 00:57:37.119
some cracked pepper in that too. Let's see. Make

00:57:37.119 --> 00:57:40.460
a thick gravy with flour, milk, and butter. The

00:57:40.460 --> 00:57:43.800
gravy goes in between the pasta sauce in between

00:57:43.800 --> 00:57:46.500
the layers of lasagna. Where you have cheese

00:57:46.500 --> 00:57:50.159
and you have meat. Then you have sauce. The gravy

00:57:50.159 --> 00:57:53.179
goes in between the sauce and then the next noodles.

00:57:53.840 --> 00:57:56.719
Believe me, that's the way they do it in the

00:57:56.719 --> 00:58:00.420
country of Italy, in a lot of places. I'm not

00:58:00.420 --> 00:58:03.019
sure if it's a northern or southern thing. Cook

00:58:03.019 --> 00:58:05.800
garlic directly into the ground beef when you're

00:58:05.800 --> 00:58:10.000
cooking it, if you do meat lasagna. And select

00:58:10.000 --> 00:58:13.099
a really good pasta sauce. I like a tangier,

00:58:13.260 --> 00:58:16.840
semi -sweet one that has a good tomato taste.

00:58:16.940 --> 00:58:19.880
Do whatever you like. And other than that, I

00:58:19.880 --> 00:58:24.219
don't really have anything else to you. I mean,

00:58:24.260 --> 00:58:36.400
besides Stouffer's. Okay. Oh, a wooden spoon.

00:58:36.500 --> 00:58:38.579
If you make your own sauce, use a wooden spoon.

00:58:39.559 --> 00:58:48.400
A metal spoon gives it. Yeah. Yes, it gives it

00:58:48.400 --> 00:58:50.280
a different flavor. If you use a metal spoon,

00:58:50.500 --> 00:58:54.099
it actually gives it a kind of a bitter taste

00:58:54.099 --> 00:58:57.019
from the metal. You want to use a wooden spoon

00:58:57.019 --> 00:58:59.400
for real, no joke. Well, actually, everything

00:58:59.400 --> 00:59:02.280
I just gave you is true, like the soak in the

00:59:02.280 --> 00:59:05.079
noodles and the gravy and all that. I'm serious.

00:59:05.219 --> 00:59:08.300
It's a good lasagna recipe, or you can always

00:59:08.300 --> 00:59:11.559
just go online and find great recipes. So anyhow,

00:59:11.780 --> 00:59:14.119
Rob, let's turn it to you. You have some stuff.

00:59:17.769 --> 00:59:25.230
All right. Guess what time it is. The greatest

00:59:25.230 --> 00:59:36.250
segment ever, ever in the history. Oh, shit.

00:59:36.429 --> 00:59:40.269
This was the wrong one. That's all right. We're

00:59:40.269 --> 01:00:04.949
ready. We're ready. Alive but unable to move

01:00:04.949 --> 01:00:09.489
or speak, suffering for days before being mistakenly

01:00:09.489 --> 01:01:50.719
buried alive. Mm -hmm. That was weird. Wow. That

01:01:50.719 --> 01:01:57.239
was a weird one. Okay. That is interesting how

01:01:57.239 --> 01:02:01.639
they probably... I mean, it's cool how he had

01:02:01.639 --> 01:02:06.139
been dead. Yeah. But alive. But alive, yeah.

01:02:07.940 --> 01:02:21.719
It is a rare brain disorder, they thought. Yeah,

01:02:21.719 --> 01:02:26.039
yeah, yep. Yeah. Okay. A -R -E with a slash.

01:02:26.519 --> 01:02:29.599
I'm somewhat familiar with that, yeah. Okay,

01:02:29.760 --> 01:02:33.300
wow. Yeah. Okay. So they're thinking he had that.

01:02:33.820 --> 01:03:28.079
Okay, probably did. Oh ho ho! She's going to

01:03:28.079 --> 01:04:45.380
need that $10 million in legal fees. Mm -hmm.

01:04:46.920 --> 01:05:02.659
What did that? Holy shit. Wow. Wow. Yeah. Okay.

01:05:03.119 --> 01:05:08.900
All right. And guess what? I have a third one

01:05:08.900 --> 01:06:03.210
tonight. Are you ready? Okay. Okay. Thank you,

01:06:03.210 --> 01:06:09.809
Rob. I know stuff like that. All right. Let's

01:06:09.809 --> 01:06:12.269
take our second break and we'll come right back

01:06:12.269 --> 01:06:14.750
with more stuff. Thank you, Rob. That was a great

01:06:14.750 --> 01:06:20.969
bag of garbage. We appreciate it. All right.

01:06:20.989 --> 01:06:36.570
We'll be right back. Strange, but true. In 1903,

01:06:36.730 --> 01:06:39.369
two unrelated men named Will and William West,

01:06:39.610 --> 01:06:42.630
identical in appearance, were both sent to Leavenworth

01:06:42.630 --> 01:06:46.090
Prison, causing confusion. This led to the adoption

01:06:46.090 --> 01:06:50.269
of fingerprint identification. Next up, things

01:06:50.269 --> 01:06:55.010
overheard in hell. Hurry up. Kim Jong -un is

01:06:55.010 --> 01:06:57.869
playing Santa at the mall again this year. Yay!

01:06:59.150 --> 01:07:02.349
That's right. Yesterday's technology, today.

01:07:02.550 --> 01:07:07.530
It's not radio. It's podcast. Your mama's so

01:07:07.530 --> 01:07:10.969
fat, she uses Google Earth to take a selfie.

01:07:12.010 --> 01:07:14.909
This is Joshua Belmont, your super thought man

01:07:14.909 --> 01:07:18.150
on the hustle. Today, we would like to celebrate

01:07:18.150 --> 01:07:22.070
Mr. Timothy J. Brottux, who is credited for the

01:07:22.070 --> 01:07:26.099
invention of... two -ply toilet paper. Because

01:07:26.099 --> 01:07:29.159
of you, Timmy, we no longer have to spend ten

01:07:29.159 --> 01:07:32.099
minutes scrubbing our fingernails after every

01:07:32.099 --> 01:07:36.960
dump. Mr. Bratox, you are a true hero. Hey, my

01:07:36.960 --> 01:07:39.699
fellow heavy breathers, this is Dash Riptide,

01:07:39.860 --> 01:07:45.239
your music news. Megadeth has announced a final

01:07:45.239 --> 01:07:50.059
album in a 2026 global farewell tour to conclude

01:07:50.059 --> 01:07:52.760
their career after 40 years. The first wave of

01:07:52.760 --> 01:07:55.559
tour dates for a Latin American leg in April

01:07:55.559 --> 01:07:58.980
and May 2026, with more dates to be announced

01:07:58.980 --> 01:08:02.519
for the worldwide tour. While the full tour schedule

01:08:02.519 --> 01:08:04.880
has been released, tickets for the initial dates

01:08:04.880 --> 01:08:07.280
are available, and there is also an announced

01:08:07.280 --> 01:08:09.880
performance with Iron Maiden Concert in Harrison,

01:08:10.000 --> 01:08:15.019
New Jersey, in September 2026. This is Gash Riptine,

01:08:15.179 --> 01:08:18.520
and that was your music news. If it's too loud,

01:08:18.600 --> 01:08:28.720
you probably have ear damage, just like me. Since

01:08:28.720 --> 01:08:31.300
the dawn of time, weird shit has happened. Strange

01:08:31.300 --> 01:08:34.720
occurrences, unexplained phobias, and other odd

01:08:34.720 --> 01:08:37.119
happenings. Over the next minute, we would like

01:08:37.119 --> 01:08:39.819
to bring you odd, rare phobias and conditions.

01:08:40.979 --> 01:08:44.439
Hutchinson -Gilford Progeria Syndrome. Cases

01:08:44.439 --> 01:08:48.420
known on Earth, 100 to possibly 150. This causes

01:08:48.420 --> 01:08:50.859
young children to age quickly, such as hair loss,

01:08:51.039 --> 01:08:53.500
thin, fragile skin, and cardiovascular issues,

01:08:53.760 --> 01:08:56.340
while the child's mental capacity stays the same.

01:08:56.680 --> 01:08:59.340
There is unknown cure and very little treatment

01:08:59.340 --> 01:09:03.079
options. Hey there, fuckstick. You're just in

01:09:03.079 --> 01:09:05.300
time for brand new feature news nobody gives

01:09:05.300 --> 01:09:08.619
a shit about. An 80 -year -old Bulgarian man

01:09:08.619 --> 01:09:10.880
has the record for the longest nose hair ever

01:09:10.880 --> 01:09:31.460
at three feet. We are two douchebags and microphone.

01:09:31.640 --> 01:09:35.560
I am in Kansas City at the talk is cheap studio

01:09:35.560 --> 01:10:14.079
and my name is Mark Thank you, Rob. I screwed

01:10:14.079 --> 01:10:16.260
up the first intro coming back, and then you

01:10:16.260 --> 01:10:18.340
did the second one, only I took mine out. I'm

01:10:18.340 --> 01:10:21.399
sorry. Yours is staying because it's gone now.

01:10:22.039 --> 01:10:27.600
Okay. I've got an interesting story. Royal Caribbean.

01:10:29.060 --> 01:10:33.060
Yeah, believe me. Everybody's laughing with you,

01:10:33.100 --> 01:10:39.140
not at you. Royal Caribbean is accused of stuffing

01:10:39.140 --> 01:10:45.260
a dead passenger in a refrigerator. Did you hear

01:10:45.260 --> 01:10:47.460
that? Did you see that? Did you see that story?

01:10:47.579 --> 01:10:50.659
No, I did not see that. Yeah. Royal Caribbean

01:10:50.659 --> 01:10:53.279
is under fire for its handling of passenger Michael

01:10:53.279 --> 01:10:57.340
Virgil, who died on board after being served

01:10:57.340 --> 01:11:00.659
33 drinks at one of the Navigator of the Seas

01:11:00.659 --> 01:11:05.460
bars in December 2024. per a wrongful deaths

01:11:05.460 --> 01:11:08.760
lawsuit filed by his family. Now the family's

01:11:08.760 --> 01:11:11.500
lawyer is accusing Cruise Liner employees of

01:11:11.500 --> 01:11:14.119
stuffing the 35 -year -old California father's

01:11:14.119 --> 01:11:17.640
body in a refrigerator before continuing on their

01:11:17.640 --> 01:11:21.180
voyage, ignoring pleas from his fiancee, Connie

01:11:21.180 --> 01:11:25.439
Aguiar, and returned to the port in Long Beach,

01:11:25.520 --> 01:11:27.739
California, so they could deal with the death

01:11:27.739 --> 01:11:30.880
of a loved one. There's also a lot of questions

01:11:30.880 --> 01:11:35.180
of why they would serve somebody 33 drinks. And

01:11:35.180 --> 01:11:37.439
when they're obviously that hammered, he was

01:11:37.439 --> 01:11:39.779
so hammered, the reports were, if they're true,

01:11:39.960 --> 01:11:43.699
is he was running around smashing in people's

01:11:43.699 --> 01:11:47.800
doors and yelling at them and screaming. So he

01:11:47.800 --> 01:11:50.819
was like out of control before he died, allegedly.

01:11:51.779 --> 01:11:54.640
But this whole thing is stuffing them in a refrigerator.

01:11:55.420 --> 01:11:58.810
Don't they have a morgue there? I mean. The ships

01:11:58.810 --> 01:12:01.050
have to. People die all the time on ships. That

01:12:01.050 --> 01:12:06.989
would be it. It would be a morgue. Yeah, but...

01:12:06.989 --> 01:12:10.109
How many refrigerators they got? Why would they

01:12:10.109 --> 01:12:12.130
stuff in the refrigerator is what I'm asking

01:12:12.130 --> 01:12:15.369
if they have a morgue. That's what I'm saying.

01:12:15.489 --> 01:12:17.869
Why wouldn't the refrigerator be the morgue?

01:12:18.270 --> 01:12:20.789
Hmm. I don't know. How many refrigerators they

01:12:20.789 --> 01:12:22.970
got on this ship? Well, this is going to all

01:12:22.970 --> 01:12:25.590
come out in the court proceedings if they don't

01:12:25.590 --> 01:12:29.390
settle out of court. And actually, this article

01:12:29.390 --> 01:12:31.850
goes on to say that all ships are outfitted with

01:12:31.850 --> 01:12:34.689
hidden morgues for the deceased that are off

01:12:34.689 --> 01:12:41.569
-limits to regular passengers. Oh, I've known

01:12:41.569 --> 01:12:43.930
this for a long time, that they do that, because

01:12:43.930 --> 01:12:47.630
we actually saw a guy. This is actually Royal

01:12:47.630 --> 01:12:51.109
Caribbean on Oasis of the Seas. A guy went down

01:12:51.109 --> 01:12:57.680
with a heart attack. Yeah, it was at an 80s party.

01:12:58.680 --> 01:13:03.460
He was dancing a little too much. His heart didn't

01:13:03.460 --> 01:13:10.199
like it. So I'm pretty sure. Yes, he was. And

01:13:10.199 --> 01:13:13.560
then they came out and got him. And then I asked

01:13:13.560 --> 01:13:16.420
one of the employees later on that I was close

01:13:16.420 --> 01:13:17.819
with because, you know, I was giving him good

01:13:17.819 --> 01:13:19.500
tips and stuff. I go, hey, I go, what do they

01:13:19.500 --> 01:13:21.039
do with dead bodies? He goes, we got a morgue

01:13:21.039 --> 01:13:22.779
down there. I was like, no shit. He goes, yeah.

01:13:23.319 --> 01:13:25.800
And he said what floor it was on. It was like

01:13:25.800 --> 01:13:29.800
floor minus one or something. I mean, I guess

01:13:29.800 --> 01:13:33.539
there's a below. Yeah, yeah. Like at the very

01:13:33.539 --> 01:13:35.539
bottom, there's a morgue is what he was saying.

01:13:36.000 --> 01:13:40.399
So I thought pretty interesting. Yeah. And then

01:13:40.399 --> 01:13:43.100
that was that was one hell of a cruise because

01:13:43.100 --> 01:13:47.760
another person shattered their ankle ice skating.

01:13:48.329 --> 01:13:50.369
And they had to turn around. I mean, they were

01:13:50.369 --> 01:13:52.970
close to the Dominican Republic, but we weren't

01:13:52.970 --> 01:13:55.430
going there on the cruise. We were going to the

01:13:55.430 --> 01:13:58.489
Virgin Islands. So they had to take a pit stop

01:13:58.489 --> 01:14:03.090
to the Dominican Republic so they could fly her

01:14:03.090 --> 01:14:06.649
to a specialist in Miami. And that whole cruise

01:14:06.649 --> 01:14:08.729
was like marred with people getting hurt, people

01:14:08.729 --> 01:14:15.760
dying and stuff. It was crazy. Um, let me think

01:14:15.760 --> 01:14:19.460
here. I think it would probably have been March.

01:14:19.659 --> 01:14:30.039
It was in March. Why is that? Yeah. Well, um,

01:14:30.079 --> 01:14:36.979
yeah, it's, it's indoors. It's in, it's indoors.

01:14:37.359 --> 01:14:43.140
And it was, it was on the second floor. No, no.

01:14:43.550 --> 01:14:46.810
No, no, no. It's indoors. It's an indoor ice

01:14:46.810 --> 01:14:54.609
rink on Oasis of the Seas. Well, it's just another

01:14:54.609 --> 01:14:56.989
attraction to bring you on the boat. You know,

01:14:57.069 --> 01:14:58.770
I mean, people go, hey, you can even ice skate.

01:14:58.810 --> 01:15:02.449
They had a flow rider. They had zip lines. They

01:15:02.449 --> 01:15:05.590
had a levitating bar. No kidding. You got in

01:15:05.590 --> 01:15:08.029
this bar and it took you up in the air while

01:15:08.029 --> 01:15:12.329
you were drinking. It had a replica of Central

01:15:12.329 --> 01:15:14.510
Park. Not all of it, but part of it. They have

01:15:14.510 --> 01:15:18.210
a real waterfall and real trees on that. That

01:15:18.210 --> 01:15:22.770
ship was immaculate. My only problem was is with

01:15:22.770 --> 01:15:25.210
a three -day itinerary and seven days on that

01:15:25.210 --> 01:15:27.050
boat, you didn't have enough time to see the

01:15:27.050 --> 01:15:29.090
boat. It was so huge. I mean, you got to see

01:15:29.090 --> 01:15:32.210
some of it, but not a lot of it. Yes. Just look

01:15:32.210 --> 01:15:34.630
it up when you get a chance. Oasis of the Seas.

01:15:36.510 --> 01:15:39.869
Yeah. So, Icon of the Seas. I mean, they're all

01:15:39.869 --> 01:15:42.989
huge. So, anyhow, Rob, let's turn it to you.

01:15:44.949 --> 01:15:48.970
Okay. You know, last week I talked about my buddy,

01:15:49.010 --> 01:15:53.350
the Raccoon. Yeah, yeah, yeah, the drunk. Yeah.

01:15:54.109 --> 01:15:57.649
Yeah, I love him. Well, guess what? He's back

01:15:57.649 --> 01:16:18.149
in the news. All right, Rocky. He is now believed

01:16:18.149 --> 01:16:22.750
that the alcoholic animal also broke into a nearby

01:16:22.750 --> 01:16:27.729
karate studio and then ran to the Department

01:16:27.729 --> 01:16:35.750
of Motor Vehicles for stacks. So, lastly, this

01:16:35.750 --> 01:16:39.369
is the third break -in he's had, said Officer

01:16:39.369 --> 01:16:45.090
Samantha Barney. He's an ornery little bastard.

01:16:45.130 --> 01:17:40.460
Go ahead. I love him. I am too. Yeah. Okay, yes,

01:17:41.680 --> 01:18:36.680
they are very smart Uh -huh. Maybe a mile out.

01:18:37.720 --> 01:18:43.739
Yeah. Yeah, I'm really liking this guy. I'm really

01:18:43.739 --> 01:18:48.260
liking him. I can't wait for my buddy. That's

01:18:48.260 --> 01:18:52.880
fucking awesome, dude. Yeah, ever since you introduced

01:18:52.880 --> 01:18:55.260
that story to us, I've been keeping track of

01:18:55.260 --> 01:19:05.390
him. That's pretty cool. I love it. Love it.

01:19:07.529 --> 01:19:22.130
Yes. Trash Panda is the best. You know what?

01:19:22.189 --> 01:19:31.060
You're right. Yes. Yep. Well, I mean... Raccoons

01:19:31.060 --> 01:19:33.220
have been called trash pandas for a while now.

01:19:38.100 --> 01:19:42.960
Oh, no, no, no. It's not even about getting trashed.

01:19:42.960 --> 01:19:45.399
They call them a trash panda because they're

01:19:45.399 --> 01:19:51.460
scavengers. Yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah. Yeah. And they're

01:19:51.460 --> 01:19:54.239
lovable. They look kind of like pandas. So, okay.

01:19:55.560 --> 01:19:59.000
All righty. It is 917. You're the one that's

01:19:59.000 --> 01:20:01.020
got to get up early in the morning. I'm off tomorrow.

01:20:01.180 --> 01:20:03.859
So do you want to keep this going or do you want

01:20:03.859 --> 01:20:09.300
to end this? I do have one more. Okay, go ahead.

01:20:31.399 --> 01:20:33.300
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You reported on that.

01:22:35.279 --> 01:22:51.319
Uh -huh. Oh, well. You know what? That's all

01:22:51.319 --> 01:23:00.979
right. You described it very well. Oh, I see.

01:23:01.020 --> 01:23:15.170
You're still building a bridge to it. Okay. Yeah,

01:23:15.189 --> 01:23:16.970
yeah, I remember that. You reported that last

01:23:16.970 --> 01:23:31.090
week, didn't you? Yeah, I did. But... Okay. I

01:23:31.090 --> 01:23:37.189
guess we'll fix it after. Okay. Well, what happened

01:23:37.189 --> 01:23:54.710
was... I'll give it a breakdown. Okay. Okay.

01:23:54.710 --> 01:23:58.750
A satanic church reached out to him about the

01:23:58.750 --> 01:24:04.930
concert. The satanic church made a comment about

01:24:04.930 --> 01:24:25.710
it. Oh, made a comment. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Mm

01:24:25.710 --> 01:26:06.310
-hmm. Mm -hmm. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Yeah, they used

01:26:06.310 --> 01:26:12.409
AI to do the imagery back behind. There was a

01:26:12.409 --> 01:26:18.550
lot of help. I'll tell you what, I'll get into

01:26:18.550 --> 01:26:37.199
this in a second after I finish this. Oh yeah.

01:26:43.079 --> 01:27:48.350
Yep. Uh huh. after correctly stating that the

01:27:48.350 --> 01:27:53.289
EDV is being attacked for no reason on the basis

01:27:53.289 --> 01:28:00.909
of the satanic satanism at least even by reflecting

01:28:00.909 --> 01:28:05.229
on just how ridiculous it is that people are

01:28:05.229 --> 01:28:10.329
being scared of a safe depiction of hell a skeleton

01:28:10.329 --> 01:30:12.479
and a couple of demons Okay. Wow. It's like Ghost

01:30:12.479 --> 01:31:01.710
Wreck, but maybe Ghost Wreck type stuff. Yeah,

01:31:01.750 --> 01:31:13.829
no, no, I get it. I never did think it was. I

01:31:13.829 --> 01:31:16.689
always thought it was like, you know, a lot of

01:31:16.689 --> 01:31:19.590
times they do this shit on purpose because it

01:31:19.590 --> 01:31:24.710
gets people. Yeah, it gets people talking about

01:31:24.710 --> 01:31:27.550
it. It's a buzz. People go, hey, did you hear

01:31:27.550 --> 01:31:30.229
that? Zac Brown was doing satanic rituals. It's

01:31:30.229 --> 01:31:32.710
an age -old gimmick that's been going on forever.

01:31:34.350 --> 01:31:37.250
And I never did believe it. It just stunk of

01:31:37.250 --> 01:31:40.409
the 1980s and all the bands that acted like they

01:31:40.409 --> 01:31:45.250
were devil works. It was a show at the Spear.

01:31:45.350 --> 01:32:21.000
Uh -huh, yes. In Las Vegas. Yep. I think you're

01:32:21.000 --> 01:32:27.140
right. I think it's such a new thing that people

01:32:27.140 --> 01:32:30.560
ain't caught on to it. He did because it is time

01:32:30.560 --> 01:32:38.100
for music. I don't know. Okay. All right. Well,

01:32:38.140 --> 01:32:40.199
thank you, Rob. Appreciate that. But it's to

01:32:40.199 --> 01:32:43.720
go with the old outlaw country. But it's new.

01:32:44.619 --> 01:32:53.400
Yeah. Outlaw country. But it's dark. Yep. Yes.

01:32:53.400 --> 01:32:56.460
Oh, all right. Well, thank you, Rob. We appreciate

01:32:56.460 --> 01:32:59.600
that. All right. I think I'm about done. Are

01:32:59.600 --> 01:33:03.000
you? Yeah, I'm done. All right. Thank you very

01:33:03.000 --> 01:33:06.920
much. I'm glad you did a follow -up to that because

01:33:06.920 --> 01:33:11.039
I thought that that was – I think it explains

01:33:11.039 --> 01:33:20.510
it a little bit better, you know. Yeah, they're

01:33:20.510 --> 01:33:22.630
like, hey, don't give this guy any credit here.

01:33:22.689 --> 01:33:26.329
He's not one of us. He's not one of us. Yeah,

01:33:26.369 --> 01:33:30.369
he's like, no, no, no, nope. Imagine how Zach

01:33:30.369 --> 01:33:33.029
Brown felt. The Satanists didn't even want me.

01:33:33.130 --> 01:33:41.210
What the hell? The Satanists were no thank you.

01:33:43.310 --> 01:33:46.289
Give him back to the genie. Yeah, give him back

01:33:46.289 --> 01:33:50.619
to the genie. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Nope, nope, nope.

01:33:50.619 --> 01:33:56.340
I'm over 10. You didn't say that. All right,

01:33:56.380 --> 01:33:59.779
Rob. Thank you, man. All right, everybody. Thank

01:33:59.779 --> 01:34:03.300
you for joining us. Everybody have a good night.

01:34:03.319 --> 01:34:11.739
Good night, assholes. Good night, assholes. Oh,

01:34:11.920 --> 01:34:15.119
no. Looks like the show's over, kids. Mark has

01:34:15.119 --> 01:34:17.960
explosive diarrhea and can't afford a wireless

01:34:17.960 --> 01:34:21.600
mic. Fear not, assholes. They'll be back invading

01:34:21.600 --> 01:34:22.539
your ear holes soon.