WEBVTT 00:00:33.330 --> 00:00:36.670 Welcome again. We're happy you chose us. Come 00:00:36.670 --> 00:00:40.520 on in. Wash yourself off. Would you enjoy a bourbon 00:00:40.520 --> 00:00:43.259 and coke? There's a liquor store down the road. 00:00:43.359 --> 00:00:47.000 If you go, I need rolling papers. Well, since 00:00:47.000 --> 00:00:49.700 you're here, let's get this daily douchebag pledge 00:00:49.700 --> 00:00:53.079 out of the way. All right, bitches, swing your 00:00:53.079 --> 00:00:55.840 hips and pelvic thrust. Shout it out with me. 00:00:56.000 --> 00:00:58.659 I, Joe or Jane Listener, promise to download 00:00:58.659 --> 00:01:03.020 every podcast. I, Joe or Jane Listener, promise 00:01:03.020 --> 00:01:06.090 to make... All friends, family members, and workmates 00:01:06.090 --> 00:01:09.689 download the show. I, Joe or Jane Listener, promise 00:01:09.689 --> 00:01:12.689 to grab idle computers, work computers, friends 00:01:12.689 --> 00:01:15.750 computers, community computers, and other assorted 00:01:15.750 --> 00:01:17.930 phones and listening devices and download the 00:01:17.930 --> 00:01:21.670 show from there. I, Joe or Jane Listener, will 00:01:21.670 --> 00:01:24.329 download the show and constantly barrage everyone 00:01:24.329 --> 00:01:27.849 with show name and platforms. I, Joe or Jane 00:01:27.849 --> 00:01:30.489 Listener, promise to wear a chicken costume and 00:01:30.489 --> 00:01:33.500 screen the show's name from my front yard. And 00:01:33.500 --> 00:01:35.819 finally, because of our 13 -year -old boy humor, 00:01:36.000 --> 00:01:39.540 you must go to Knobloch Cooter Licking in Uranus, 00:01:39.540 --> 00:01:42.599 Missouri to take selfies with the signs. If you 00:01:42.599 --> 00:01:46.739 go to Uranus, go to the fudge factory. Yes, there's 00:01:46.739 --> 00:01:52.239 a fudge factory in Uranus. No joke. Here at Two 00:01:52.239 --> 00:01:54.799 Douchebags and a Microphone, we don't stand behind 00:01:54.799 --> 00:01:57.879 our journalistic integrity. Go ahead and assume 00:01:57.879 --> 00:02:01.200 we got the story wrong. At least we admit it. 00:02:01.680 --> 00:02:04.560 Not like all those other guys. We can and will 00:02:04.560 --> 00:02:20.020 lie if it makes the story better. Since the dawn 00:02:20.020 --> 00:02:22.979 of time, weird shit has happened. Strange occurrences. 00:02:23.520 --> 00:02:26.319 Unexplained phobias. and other odd happenings. 00:02:26.379 --> 00:02:28.439 Over the next minute, we would like to bring 00:02:28.439 --> 00:02:32.659 you odd, rare phobias and conditions. Kepler's 00:02:32.659 --> 00:02:35.419 syndrome, or the delusion of doubles, is a rare 00:02:35.419 --> 00:02:38.060 condition where a person falsely believes a familiar 00:02:38.060 --> 00:02:41.659 individual, like a spouse or family member, has 00:02:41.659 --> 00:02:44.240 been replaced by an identical -looking imposter 00:02:44.240 --> 00:02:48.280 or duplicate. As a type of delusional misidentification 00:02:48.280 --> 00:02:51.060 syndrome, often linked to underlying brain issues 00:02:51.060 --> 00:02:53.759 or psychiatric conditions, including schizophrenia, 00:02:54.650 --> 00:02:58.710 dementia, with Lewy body, brain injury, or bipolar 00:02:58.710 --> 00:03:01.409 disorder, resulting from a disconnect between 00:03:01.409 --> 00:03:04.870 face recognition and emotional processing. Treatment 00:03:04.870 --> 00:03:08.069 focuses on managing the underlying disorder with 00:03:08.069 --> 00:03:10.990 different forms of therapy and addressing associated 00:03:10.990 --> 00:03:15.569 symptoms like anxiety. Hey, you yankers. We often 00:03:15.569 --> 00:03:17.849 think many things are just true because we've 00:03:17.849 --> 00:03:20.330 heard it our whole lives. That's why here at 00:03:20.330 --> 00:03:22.189 Two Douchebags and Microphone, we developed the 00:03:22.189 --> 00:03:26.030 segment. Not true. We investigate and uncover 00:03:26.030 --> 00:03:30.569 the real truth of what happened. We've heard 00:03:30.569 --> 00:03:33.009 for years that Einstein was so intelligent he 00:03:33.009 --> 00:03:36.370 could not figure out how to tie his shoe. The 00:03:36.370 --> 00:03:40.069 fact is, he disliked wearing socks. He would 00:03:40.069 --> 00:03:42.610 put socks over his shoes to avoid tying them. 00:03:42.710 --> 00:03:45.449 He believed tying shoelaces was an incredible 00:03:45.449 --> 00:03:49.370 waste of time. So were Crocs when Einstein needed 00:03:49.370 --> 00:03:52.840 them. And now we look in on the adventures of 00:03:52.840 --> 00:03:56.300 the technical explanation guy. Excuse me, my 00:03:56.300 --> 00:03:59.300 dear sir. Could you please put my plain bread 00:03:59.300 --> 00:04:01.439 in a small countertop appliance with heating 00:04:01.439 --> 00:04:04.139 elements that would spring loaded and would brown 00:04:04.139 --> 00:04:06.819 my bread adequately? Well, first off, I'm not 00:04:06.819 --> 00:04:09.319 a waiter. I'm just a guy over there sitting at 00:04:09.319 --> 00:04:12.240 the table having a drink. Second off, are you 00:04:12.240 --> 00:04:14.569 talking about someone toasting your bread? Well, 00:04:14.590 --> 00:04:17.170 yes. Yes, I am. I'm talking about my bread being 00:04:17.170 --> 00:04:19.250 toasted. Then why don't you just ask for your 00:04:19.250 --> 00:04:21.750 bread to be toasted, you dumb bastard? What the 00:04:21.750 --> 00:04:24.610 hell's wrong with you? And now, Deep Thoughts 00:04:24.610 --> 00:04:31.670 with Mark. Should I record frog sounds in the 00:04:31.670 --> 00:04:34.089 summer, then play them when it's zero degrees 00:04:34.089 --> 00:04:37.870 on my ring doorbell for the Amazon guy? Hmm. 00:04:38.470 --> 00:04:46.370 Yeah, that sounds like fun. Hey, dickhead, no 00:04:46.370 --> 00:04:48.569 one gives an ounce of shit what you had for breakfast. 00:04:48.790 --> 00:04:51.410 Not even the person on the other end. You look 00:04:51.410 --> 00:04:54.009 like a mentally slow driv yelling into thin air 00:04:54.009 --> 00:04:56.110 all through the store. I pray that Bluetooth 00:04:56.110 --> 00:04:59.110 shorts out and blows up your eardrums. What men 00:04:59.110 --> 00:05:02.009 consider self -centered dunce. Monty constantly 00:05:02.009 --> 00:05:04.670 coddled this dummy and it fucking shows. Go look 00:05:04.670 --> 00:05:07.069 back home and bore your dog. Wait, you probably 00:05:07.069 --> 00:05:09.110 forgot the thieving because you're too busy looking 00:05:09.110 --> 00:05:13.579 in the mirror all day. Fuck off. Two douchebags 00:05:13.579 --> 00:05:15.620 a microphone in an effort to keep everything 00:05:15.620 --> 00:05:22.959 fresh we offer you First world problems Damn 00:05:22.959 --> 00:05:26.220 it. The city services website is down again. 00:05:27.399 --> 00:05:30.019 I Can't believe this. I'm gonna have to actually 00:05:30.019 --> 00:05:32.759 call and talk to someone to pay my damn trash 00:05:32.759 --> 00:05:44.319 bill This is ridiculous Most dangerous city in 00:05:44.319 --> 00:05:51.079 North America. You can't touch me. Oh yeah? This 00:05:51.079 --> 00:06:02.240 is Kansas City here. Hold my beer, bitch. Two 00:06:02.240 --> 00:06:04.720 douchebags and microphone. I'm Mark, here in 00:06:04.720 --> 00:06:07.860 the Kansas City area at the extreme southern 00:06:07.860 --> 00:06:10.879 tip of the Kansas City Metroplex at the Talk 00:06:10.879 --> 00:06:19.339 is Cheap studio. And I am Rob from Wheatland, 00:06:19.500 --> 00:06:24.100 Missouri, home of the magnificent Lucas Oil Speedway 00:06:24.100 --> 00:06:28.540 and Wheatland RV Park. You found another one. 00:06:28.660 --> 00:06:33.800 Okay. Before, it was like not much else. Yeah, 00:06:33.800 --> 00:06:54.910 yeah, yeah. Yeah. All right. Very, very cool. 00:06:55.290 --> 00:07:00.389 All right. Well, I got an update on a couple 00:07:00.389 --> 00:07:03.889 of things here. You know, we were really disappointed 00:07:03.889 --> 00:07:09.910 because Birmingham, UK, United Kingdom, the airport. 00:07:10.699 --> 00:07:14.339 Did not want to change the name to Ozzy Osbourne 00:07:14.339 --> 00:07:17.980 International because that is where Black Sabbath 00:07:17.980 --> 00:07:21.040 came from. The most famous group to come out 00:07:21.040 --> 00:07:23.360 of it. Quite a few groups actually came out of 00:07:23.360 --> 00:07:26.100 that area, Birmingham area, but they are the 00:07:26.100 --> 00:07:28.860 most famous, the most prolific, the most ones 00:07:28.860 --> 00:07:31.879 that everyone's heard of, and especially Ozzy 00:07:31.879 --> 00:07:34.160 Osbourne, their lead singer and solo artist. 00:07:36.199 --> 00:07:39.300 Birmingham, UK might get an official Ozzy Osbourne 00:07:39.300 --> 00:07:41.980 International. After all, the petition has grown 00:07:41.980 --> 00:07:45.459 to close to 100 ,000 signatures to rename the 00:07:45.459 --> 00:07:49.879 city's airport. I think if they do rename it, 00:07:49.920 --> 00:07:52.980 they should have the Ozzy or Sabbath or both 00:07:52.980 --> 00:07:57.879 museum at the airport. Many airports have museum. 00:07:58.319 --> 00:08:01.019 Yeah, they should have the museum there because 00:08:01.019 --> 00:08:04.019 there's so many airports that have museum tributes. 00:08:05.439 --> 00:08:09.579 of like, oh, like the Wright Brothers. You know, 00:08:09.579 --> 00:08:12.019 let's see. I was trying to think of the one in 00:08:12.019 --> 00:08:15.000 Vegas. There's a museum in Vegas, too. There's 00:08:15.000 --> 00:08:17.279 quite a few airports that have museums in there. 00:08:17.560 --> 00:08:22.120 Oh, Louis Armstrong Airport in New Orleans has 00:08:22.120 --> 00:08:26.139 a jazz museum there. I mean, it would make sense 00:08:26.139 --> 00:08:27.819 for them to have a museum there, but we need 00:08:27.819 --> 00:08:30.899 to start, you know, with the actually renaming 00:08:30.899 --> 00:08:35.600 of the airport. And, I mean, I don't know, should 00:08:35.600 --> 00:08:38.980 they name it Ozzy, Osbourne International, or 00:08:38.980 --> 00:08:40.919 should they name it Black Sabbath International? 00:08:41.340 --> 00:08:50.179 What do you think? I think you would call it 00:08:50.179 --> 00:08:52.799 Sabbath. I think so, too. Sabbath International. 00:08:53.200 --> 00:08:55.759 I think so, too, because the whole band is from 00:08:55.759 --> 00:08:59.370 there, not just Ozzy. Yes, exactly. The whole 00:08:59.370 --> 00:09:02.710 reason the name Ozzy came about on it being renamed 00:09:02.710 --> 00:09:05.370 is because he's the only one of the originals 00:09:05.370 --> 00:09:09.110 that passed away. And so, you know, and, you 00:09:09.110 --> 00:09:10.769 know, and everybody's bummed out like they should 00:09:10.769 --> 00:09:14.269 be. He's a great guy. Left his mark on this world 00:09:14.269 --> 00:09:21.450 and a lot of people. Yeah. Yeah. So, like I mentioned 00:09:21.450 --> 00:09:24.210 before, many people like myself would fly there 00:09:24.210 --> 00:09:27.570 just to check into Ozzy International. Now this 00:09:27.570 --> 00:09:29.669 gives us a definite destination, doesn't it, 00:09:29.690 --> 00:09:32.850 right? If they do do it, it's like, hey, I want 00:09:32.850 --> 00:09:35.990 to go to Birmingham. I'm going to see the museum. 00:09:36.389 --> 00:09:38.990 I'm going to check in there to make all my peeps 00:09:38.990 --> 00:09:43.429 jealous. You know, of course, that's what you 00:09:43.429 --> 00:09:44.950 got to do. As soon as you land, you got to go, 00:09:45.029 --> 00:09:47.610 oh, here I am. Do a little selfie in front of 00:09:47.610 --> 00:09:50.669 the museum. Sounds good to me. So we'll see. 00:09:52.690 --> 00:09:58.480 So anyhow, This is why I'll never do DoorDash, 00:09:58.480 --> 00:10:02.039 Rob. Number one, if I'm ever too lazy to go get 00:10:02.039 --> 00:10:04.840 my own food, I don't need it. Number two, right 00:10:04.840 --> 00:10:07.820 here is a prime example. This is from the New 00:10:07.820 --> 00:10:11.080 York Post. DoorDash driver drops a chicken wing 00:10:11.080 --> 00:10:14.379 on the concrete. He puts it back in the box and 00:10:14.379 --> 00:10:17.120 licks his fingers in a gross caught on the camera 00:10:17.120 --> 00:10:20.129 scene. A door dash driver was caught shoving 00:10:20.129 --> 00:10:22.970 a stray chicken wing back into the takeout container 00:10:22.970 --> 00:10:25.830 after it plopped onto the concrete, and then 00:10:25.830 --> 00:10:28.629 he proceeded to lick the sauce off of his fingers, 00:10:28.649 --> 00:10:32.830 and he sauntered away, all without any warning 00:10:32.830 --> 00:10:37.370 to any of the customers at all. Isn't that nasty? 00:10:38.330 --> 00:10:42.210 Yeah. I mean, if that was me, I would have just 00:10:42.210 --> 00:10:44.370 like... I would have knocked on the door and 00:10:44.370 --> 00:10:46.470 I would have said, this wing fell on the ground. 00:10:46.570 --> 00:10:49.289 I apologize. It wasn't wrapped up good enough. 00:10:49.590 --> 00:10:53.470 You know, I mean, that's the only decent thing 00:10:53.470 --> 00:10:56.029 to do, right? You'd be like, hey, you know, I'm 00:10:56.029 --> 00:10:58.690 sorry. But anybody would be like, okay, accidents 00:10:58.690 --> 00:11:00.350 happen. Thanks for letting me know. Appreciate 00:11:00.350 --> 00:11:03.090 it. You know, I mean, if nothing else, you know, 00:11:03.090 --> 00:11:05.289 they could call DoorDash and go, hey, give me 00:11:05.289 --> 00:11:07.250 my money back for that order because it's missing 00:11:07.250 --> 00:11:09.909 one. And they'd probably do it. But you don't 00:11:09.909 --> 00:11:11.549 take the damn thing that's been lying on the 00:11:11.549 --> 00:11:13.690 ground and throw it back in there and then throw 00:11:13.690 --> 00:11:16.009 it back in the bag and act like nothing happened. 00:11:16.309 --> 00:11:19.269 So I hope they relieve that guy of his DoorDash 00:11:19.269 --> 00:11:25.690 duties. I don't know. It didn't say. Anyhow, 00:11:25.710 --> 00:11:28.690 the disgusted Florida customer, Trina Brown, 00:11:28.909 --> 00:11:33.370 shared the damning Ring camera footage with WJXT 00:11:33.370 --> 00:11:36.149 shortly after their delivery horror story at 00:11:36.149 --> 00:11:39.090 their Orange Park home on Sunday. In the video, 00:11:39.129 --> 00:11:41.870 the driver tries to shimmy the stack of food 00:11:41.870 --> 00:11:45.049 out of his DoorDash -branded insulated bag, but 00:11:45.049 --> 00:11:47.490 a container of boneless wing toppled to the ground. 00:11:51.230 --> 00:11:55.190 So, I mean, I just think that's disgusting. And, 00:11:55.250 --> 00:11:58.250 I mean, I just covered it because I thought it 00:11:58.250 --> 00:12:00.470 was an interesting story because it was pretty 00:12:00.470 --> 00:12:03.210 cool. No one would have known this, but they 00:12:03.210 --> 00:12:05.519 caught it on ring camera. Otherwise, you would 00:12:05.519 --> 00:12:07.480 have ate this thing. It might have been, I don't 00:12:07.480 --> 00:12:08.960 know, there might have been dog shit there or 00:12:08.960 --> 00:12:10.639 something. And you would have ate that wing. 00:12:11.220 --> 00:12:22.620 Yeah. Yeah. Yes. I've been guilty of that when 00:12:22.620 --> 00:12:25.659 I was working restaurants as a teenager. Especially 00:12:25.659 --> 00:12:34.220 if it's expensive food. Yeah. So, anyhow. There 00:12:34.220 --> 00:12:36.899 is a kitten in Brazil that is being dubbed Cyclops 00:12:36.899 --> 00:12:39.379 Cat after it was born with one eye. I've seen 00:12:39.379 --> 00:12:45.679 a viral video. You know, it's pretty cool, but 00:12:45.679 --> 00:12:49.100 it's not right. I think it passed away. But, 00:12:49.179 --> 00:12:51.460 I mean, if you want to win bar bets, wouldn't 00:12:51.460 --> 00:12:54.080 that be the place to do it? I mean, hey, I got 00:12:54.080 --> 00:12:57.019 a one -eyed cat, you know, a Cyclops. Not a one 00:12:57.019 --> 00:13:00.379 -eyed, but a Cyclops. Probably win a lot of bar 00:13:00.379 --> 00:13:05.720 bets, I would think. So, anyhow, Coach Reed must 00:13:05.720 --> 00:13:08.039 not have ever heard the phrase, tickle their 00:13:08.039 --> 00:13:12.019 tonsils. He used it in a press conference the 00:13:12.019 --> 00:13:16.559 other day. Yes, I'm serious. Tickling someone's 00:13:16.559 --> 00:13:20.879 tonsils is insinuating what, Rob? Oh, I would 00:13:20.879 --> 00:13:28.360 say. Okay. This is a family show. Yeah, yeah, 00:13:28.379 --> 00:13:35.919 yeah, kind of. He used it in a press conference 00:13:35.919 --> 00:13:38.580 the other day. He was asked about play call, 00:13:38.700 --> 00:13:40.919 and he replied, we have a few things to tickle 00:13:40.919 --> 00:13:45.360 their tonsils. I was hoping for footage of the 00:13:45.360 --> 00:13:47.659 press members because I could see them snickering 00:13:47.659 --> 00:13:52.039 and chuckling. But I could not find where anyone 00:13:52.039 --> 00:13:54.759 panned to the audience to see people going, teehee. 00:13:56.139 --> 00:14:03.029 Instead... I'm sure they did, and you should 00:14:03.029 --> 00:14:05.250 have seen the sportscasters. I've watched a couple 00:14:05.250 --> 00:14:07.889 of different ones on that, and they want to die 00:14:07.889 --> 00:14:11.230 laughing, but they can't. They're sitting there 00:14:11.230 --> 00:14:13.769 being as stiff as they can to try to act like 00:14:13.769 --> 00:14:16.289 they're not laughing, but you could tell by the 00:14:16.289 --> 00:14:19.169 semi -smirk on their face exactly what was thinking 00:14:19.169 --> 00:14:22.149 is exactly what we were thinking, right? It's 00:14:22.149 --> 00:14:27.600 like, oh! I'm sure... Yeah, I'm sure Coach Reed 00:14:27.600 --> 00:14:29.779 got some shit about that in the locker room or 00:14:29.779 --> 00:14:36.759 afterwards or wherever. All right, we've got 00:14:36.759 --> 00:14:39.139 a new segments alert. We got a couple of them. 00:14:40.220 --> 00:14:43.539 Not true was the first one, and it's an attempt 00:14:43.539 --> 00:14:45.799 to debunk the myths that people believe to be 00:14:45.799 --> 00:14:49.000 true every day. Everyday stuff that we thought 00:14:49.000 --> 00:14:52.519 was true, we're attempting to debunk on this 00:14:52.519 --> 00:14:55.960 show. The stuff that is not true. The stuff that 00:14:55.960 --> 00:14:58.220 is true, we're leaving it alone. So it's simply 00:14:58.220 --> 00:15:01.200 called not true. I'm pretty excited about it. 00:15:01.500 --> 00:15:05.340 I believe there's four segments so far, and I 00:15:05.340 --> 00:15:08.039 have like 20 to go of these facts that I looked 00:15:08.039 --> 00:15:10.700 up of things that people think are true that 00:15:10.700 --> 00:15:14.600 are actually not. I like it. And then the second 00:15:14.600 --> 00:15:18.039 new segment is rare phobias. This is an up -close 00:15:18.039 --> 00:15:20.679 look at some of the rarest phobias on this planet. 00:15:23.500 --> 00:15:28.590 So, yeah. So I'm pretty stoked about it. And 00:15:28.590 --> 00:15:32.129 here's another reason, too, okay? We do a lot 00:15:32.129 --> 00:15:37.070 of raunchy stuff, right? Okay, right? But also, 00:15:37.149 --> 00:15:40.509 I think what's important to counteract the raunchy 00:15:40.509 --> 00:15:44.149 stuff is actually stuff that's informative and 00:15:44.149 --> 00:15:48.230 intelligent in an entertaining manner. Am I correct? 00:15:48.590 --> 00:15:49.730 You've got to have a little bit of everything. 00:15:50.009 --> 00:15:52.429 Yeah, you've got to have some serious stuff. 00:15:52.960 --> 00:15:55.279 But it can't be stupid like just reading off 00:15:55.279 --> 00:15:59.700 a letterhead, you know, and today three people 00:15:59.700 --> 00:16:03.759 were shot. You know, you have to make it entertaining 00:16:03.759 --> 00:16:06.940 for people to want to listen to it instead of 00:16:06.940 --> 00:16:10.159 it becoming, you know, just audio background 00:16:10.159 --> 00:16:14.500 noise, you know. So there's a lot of shows that 00:16:14.500 --> 00:16:17.059 I can't explain it. But whenever I listen to 00:16:17.059 --> 00:16:19.440 them, it goes into background noise. I cannot 00:16:19.440 --> 00:16:21.620 keep them focused. Do you know what I mean? Do 00:16:21.620 --> 00:16:24.019 you have some shows like that? Yeah. And you 00:16:24.019 --> 00:16:25.820 start wandering off and thinking about something 00:16:25.820 --> 00:16:27.559 that happened that day or thinking about what 00:16:27.559 --> 00:16:29.720 you're going to go get to eat or something. So 00:16:29.720 --> 00:16:32.259 I think at these, I'm trying to pick out these 00:16:32.259 --> 00:16:37.399 ones that are unique, that will make people go, 00:16:37.480 --> 00:16:40.159 wow, I never knew that. You see what I mean? 00:16:40.179 --> 00:16:42.399 That's the entertaining part right there. It's 00:16:42.399 --> 00:16:45.129 not like we're... Yeah, it's like you're learning 00:16:45.129 --> 00:16:48.190 something and something that would make you go, 00:16:48.269 --> 00:16:52.450 wow, I never knew that. So we'll see if it works. 00:16:52.850 --> 00:16:54.870 Anyhow, I'm going to put a couple of them in 00:16:54.870 --> 00:17:02.009 this episode right here. And like always, 2douchesatmail 00:17:02.009 --> 00:17:07.109 .com. Send us your remarks. Yes. Yeah, we want 00:17:07.109 --> 00:17:08.829 your comments. We want your opinions. If you 00:17:08.829 --> 00:17:10.930 like it, say, yeah, good job. If you hate it, 00:17:10.970 --> 00:17:14.000 say, hey, you guys suck. And like I said, hate 00:17:14.000 --> 00:17:25.259 mail. Oh, you are awesome, dude. Yes. Yes. Thank 00:17:25.259 --> 00:17:29.599 you. Two douches at mail .com. Send us some because 00:17:29.599 --> 00:17:34.140 we seem to be getting a lot of the same emailers 00:17:34.140 --> 00:17:37.180 over and over. And from what I understand, that's 00:17:37.180 --> 00:17:41.119 normal. But we're not really seeming to get new 00:17:41.119 --> 00:17:45.759 ones. And I think it's because we never give 00:17:45.759 --> 00:17:49.200 out the email address. Right. So I need to start 00:17:49.200 --> 00:17:50.799 doing that. So in other words, the people that 00:17:50.799 --> 00:17:52.640 have it, have it. And the people that don't, 00:17:52.640 --> 00:17:56.279 don't. We've been saying that for three years. 00:17:56.559 --> 00:18:00.140 I know. 2douchesatmail .com Break us off an email. 00:18:00.420 --> 00:18:02.700 Let us know what you think. Or just tell us we 00:18:02.700 --> 00:18:07.670 suck. It doesn't matter. Anyhow, we just want 00:18:07.670 --> 00:18:10.009 you to use it, and it's entertaining either way. 00:18:10.029 --> 00:18:12.829 If you hate us, love us, whatever. Either way, 00:18:12.849 --> 00:18:14.950 it's entertaining, and we like to talk about 00:18:14.950 --> 00:18:21.470 it on this show. Yep, yep. So, I mean, how many 00:18:21.470 --> 00:18:23.549 times has someone said something really awful 00:18:23.549 --> 00:18:25.309 about us, and we're just like laughing, going, 00:18:25.390 --> 00:18:30.529 oh, cool, all right. They hate us. So, all right. 00:18:30.609 --> 00:18:34.740 Instead of sweating it. out in the kitchen this 00:18:34.740 --> 00:18:37.299 month making cookies or some other baked good 00:18:37.299 --> 00:18:39.599 to pack up and leave on your neighbor's doorstep 00:18:39.599 --> 00:18:42.799 as a holiday gift one woman has a much better 00:18:42.799 --> 00:18:45.980 gifting option this holiday season it's a giant 00:18:45.980 --> 00:18:51.519 dumpster okay all right ashley reeves swears 00:18:51.519 --> 00:18:54.500 by this ultimate hack when it comes to neighbor 00:18:54.500 --> 00:18:58.420 gifts saying this that this is going to save 00:18:58.420 --> 00:19:00.980 you time and money Plus, it's going to lower 00:19:00.980 --> 00:19:04.099 your overall holiday stress, which is just a 00:19:04.099 --> 00:19:07.140 huge bonus. We've been doing this for 10 years, 00:19:07.359 --> 00:19:10.019 she said. We rent a dumpster where neighbors 00:19:10.019 --> 00:19:12.299 can come throw away all their extra cardboard 00:19:12.299 --> 00:19:15.660 and dead trees for the holidays. Isn't that a 00:19:15.660 --> 00:19:20.619 great idea? That's their gift. Their gift is 00:19:20.619 --> 00:19:23.519 a giant dumpster that all the neighbors can take 00:19:23.519 --> 00:19:26.980 their... leftover christmas stuff you know like 00:19:26.980 --> 00:19:31.099 cardboard rolls um tore up wrapping paper um 00:19:31.099 --> 00:19:34.440 boxes where there used to be tonka trucks or 00:19:34.440 --> 00:19:37.579 whatever that's recyclable stuff yeah yeah yeah 00:19:37.579 --> 00:19:42.019 so in trees your uh your christmas tree and people 00:19:42.019 --> 00:19:43.940 just go oh don't worry about it the neighbor 00:19:43.940 --> 00:19:45.920 over there you know what what was her name ashley 00:19:45.920 --> 00:19:48.000 reeves oh yeah yeah they got that dumpster for 00:19:48.000 --> 00:19:50.319 everybody for christmas and you just take your 00:19:50.319 --> 00:19:51.960 stuff over there throw it and you're done with 00:19:51.960 --> 00:19:56.089 it that's a great idea And it said, we've been 00:19:56.089 --> 00:19:58.190 doing this for 10 years. We run a dumpster while 00:19:58.190 --> 00:19:59.890 neighbors can throw all their extra cardboard, 00:19:59.990 --> 00:20:02.269 dead trees for the holidays, all that clutter 00:20:02.269 --> 00:20:04.950 that builds up in their homes that everyone hates. 00:20:05.349 --> 00:20:07.990 There's a place to dump it. It costs about $150 00:20:07.990 --> 00:20:10.890 to $200, depending where you're at, she explained. 00:20:11.289 --> 00:20:14.769 December 23rd to January 1st, you can wrap a 00:20:14.769 --> 00:20:17.509 bow around it. I've had my kids decorate it before. 00:20:17.789 --> 00:20:20.730 All she does, I think that's cool. I'd love to 00:20:20.730 --> 00:20:22.630 put Christmas lights on it. Wouldn't that be 00:20:22.630 --> 00:20:28.569 cool? It would be. So, that's a hell of a gift. 00:20:28.609 --> 00:20:29.869 There's a little bit more to that, but you know 00:20:29.869 --> 00:20:35.369 what? You guys got the idea. Let's see here. 00:20:36.650 --> 00:20:38.809 I got some other stuff, but you know what? You 00:20:38.809 --> 00:20:41.950 have a lot of stuff you want to talk about. So, 00:20:41.950 --> 00:20:44.250 let's go ahead and get off of me and let's get 00:20:44.250 --> 00:21:05.799 on you, Rob. by your recap on the things we did, 00:21:05.920 --> 00:21:11.799 places we went, stuff like that. First off, we 00:21:11.799 --> 00:21:16.019 stayed at Howard Johnson's, which is on Sharkville 00:21:16.019 --> 00:21:31.579 Hills Expressway. Yeah, Wyndham is actually a 00:21:31.579 --> 00:21:34.460 better company in my opinion than Howard Johnson's. 00:21:34.740 --> 00:21:39.059 So, okay. The sign out front was a little confusing. 00:21:39.480 --> 00:22:34.970 Okay. Mm -hmm Oh, I love it. Games. I love it. 00:22:35.009 --> 00:22:39.349 Yeah. Now, one thing you've got to be prepared 00:22:39.349 --> 00:22:43.390 for when you go there, there are, I believe they 00:22:43.390 --> 00:23:04.960 said, 277 steps. Mm -hmm. It's groundwater from 00:23:04.960 --> 00:23:07.799 up above coming in. And also, there's a lot of 00:23:07.799 --> 00:23:10.940 natural springs in that area, too. Yes, yes. 00:23:11.079 --> 00:23:14.059 And I don't want to go into their whole story. 00:23:14.259 --> 00:23:18.160 I mean, it's a pretty cool story. It's a... Well, 00:23:18.180 --> 00:23:22.799 we can just tell... ...family land back in, what's 00:23:22.799 --> 00:23:42.880 that, 1700, 1800? Something like that. they have 00:23:42.880 --> 00:23:47.019 this kids area out front where you can buy these 00:23:47.019 --> 00:23:52.599 bags of dirt and buy these bags of like rocks 00:23:52.599 --> 00:23:59.759 and gems and they have like this slew area where 00:23:59.759 --> 00:24:02.339 like you're gold mining you're panning for the 00:24:02.339 --> 00:24:12.059 stuff It always has been. It's been around a 00:24:12.059 --> 00:24:16.480 long time, and it's a great place. A lot of history 00:24:16.480 --> 00:24:21.000 in that area, too. That's cool. That's very cool. 00:24:21.160 --> 00:24:24.140 And Marvel Cave at Still Your Dollar City is 00:24:24.140 --> 00:24:43.789 pretty cool, too. That's cool. Yeah. And then 00:24:43.789 --> 00:24:48.269 after we got done with that, we went and checked 00:24:48.269 --> 00:24:53.150 out a crystal rock shop. We took my cousin and 00:24:53.150 --> 00:25:19.309 his wife. Mm -hmm. After that, we went to Ripley's, 00:25:19.309 --> 00:25:23.490 believe it or not. Always a great time. I learn 00:25:23.490 --> 00:25:25.990 more and more every time I go there. Well, they 00:25:25.990 --> 00:25:29.089 switch it up quite a bit. If you've seen it once, 00:25:29.230 --> 00:26:46.319 you haven't seen it yet. Very cool. Very cool. 00:26:46.640 --> 00:26:50.160 We thought that was pretty cool. You know, that 00:26:50.160 --> 00:26:53.779 shows he's got manners, you know. Yeah, yeah, 00:26:53.779 --> 00:26:55.720 that's cool. And then the guy that came up to 00:26:55.720 --> 00:27:00.200 take the order for the food, he started right 00:27:00.200 --> 00:27:04.140 off with my cousin, you know. Very cool. No, 00:27:04.259 --> 00:27:07.420 he always started with the women. Oh, he did? 00:27:07.599 --> 00:27:11.099 Oh, okay, sorry. I misunderstood you. Yeah, you 00:27:11.099 --> 00:27:36.170 do. I agree. Good. Good. Cool. Mm -hmm. Lucky 00:27:36.170 --> 00:27:50.300 you. Lucky you. Yeah, yeah, I know Branson. Right 00:27:50.300 --> 00:27:55.799 before we headed out, we stopped at House of 00:27:55.799 --> 00:28:04.420 Eight Tattoo Shop. It's on Highway 76. And Princess 00:28:04.420 --> 00:28:08.019 and I got each other's initials on our ring finger. 00:28:16.109 --> 00:28:18.250 I'm the same way, too. I can't wear mine, either. 00:28:18.349 --> 00:28:22.710 She does a lot of things, you know, her biology 00:28:22.710 --> 00:28:25.569 and stuff, workable plants and stuff. She takes 00:28:25.569 --> 00:28:30.349 her rings off. So, you know, so it was a little 00:28:30.349 --> 00:29:13.970 sentiment to us, you know. Yeah. Wow. He actually 00:29:13.970 --> 00:29:17.369 had his eyeballs tattooed. Didn't know you could 00:29:17.369 --> 00:29:21.509 do that. Yes, you can. I didn't know either until 00:29:21.509 --> 00:29:27.430 I met Bart. Wow. He goes, man, everybody asks 00:29:27.430 --> 00:29:30.569 me about it. He goes, no, it's actually a tattoo. 00:29:31.309 --> 00:29:34.950 I didn't know it could be done until, and then 00:29:34.950 --> 00:29:37.230 once I found out, I figured I'd give it a shot. 00:29:38.069 --> 00:29:49.670 I'd be afraid to. I'd be afraid to. Wow. What? 00:30:07.950 --> 00:30:27.339 That's cool. Okay, my vote is pie. What's your 00:30:27.339 --> 00:30:34.619 vote? It is a pie. Okay. But they ended up going 00:30:34.619 --> 00:30:38.279 back because Princess was in fact, and my cousin's 00:30:38.279 --> 00:30:40.900 wife was back there with them. And we could hear 00:30:40.900 --> 00:30:44.240 the conversation from out front. They went back 00:30:44.240 --> 00:30:48.519 there talking about it. It was pretty cool. That 00:30:48.519 --> 00:31:10.029 is cool. Yeah, it's always fun. Very, very cool. 00:31:10.490 --> 00:31:14.069 All right, let's take our first break and come 00:31:14.069 --> 00:31:17.549 back with some emails. Sound good? Sounds great. 00:31:17.730 --> 00:31:20.750 Hey, everybody, this is Uncle Rob. I'm going 00:31:20.750 --> 00:31:25.210 to give you some tips for life. This is Uncle 00:31:25.210 --> 00:31:30.849 Rob's rules to dick pics. Rule number one, title 00:31:30.849 --> 00:31:34.150 a pic in someone else's name as long as you get 00:31:34.150 --> 00:32:01.470 busted. This is Joshua Belmont, your food for 00:32:01.470 --> 00:32:04.190 thought man on the hustle. So I just realized 00:32:04.190 --> 00:32:06.990 a genius that gets absolutely no credit. His 00:32:06.990 --> 00:32:09.529 name is Marshall Taylor. He is credited with 00:32:09.529 --> 00:32:11.589 the first bag of salad mix that was bagged and 00:32:11.589 --> 00:32:16.069 sold. Yesterday was his birthday. I believe he 00:32:16.069 --> 00:32:18.670 is still alive. This guy's genius will never 00:32:18.670 --> 00:32:21.970 be fully appreciated. Before this man, we settled 00:32:21.970 --> 00:32:24.369 for iceberg lettuce with maybe a couple of croutons 00:32:24.369 --> 00:32:27.349 and some cheese. Was Mr. Taylor satisfied with 00:32:27.349 --> 00:32:30.779 that? Hell no. He realized that Billy Americana 00:32:30.779 --> 00:32:32.759 would never go out and buy a couple of radishes, 00:32:32.960 --> 00:32:35.200 a couple of carrots, a head of purple cabbage, 00:32:35.359 --> 00:32:38.019 maybe snow peas, and possibly some cute romaine 00:32:38.019 --> 00:32:41.900 bladders for extra bougie. Mr. Taylor, you should 00:32:41.900 --> 00:32:45.380 have a national holiday. Tomorrow morning, while 00:32:45.380 --> 00:32:47.720 grinding your coffee beans for your double mocha 00:32:47.720 --> 00:32:50.660 latte, remember to not get your genitals caught 00:32:50.660 --> 00:32:53.859 in the grinder. It really hurts, and who can 00:32:53.859 --> 00:32:56.980 afford plastic surgery? Stay safe, everyone. 00:32:58.389 --> 00:33:00.609 Miss Gulkenstein was tired of Mark and Toe for 00:33:00.609 --> 00:33:03.250 making sport of her. Little did the douchebags 00:33:03.250 --> 00:33:06.130 know, Miss Gulkenstein was a voodoo high priestess 00:33:06.130 --> 00:33:09.650 when she was younger. She grew angry and cast 00:33:09.650 --> 00:33:12.730 a spell on Rob, changing Rob into a capuchin 00:33:12.730 --> 00:33:17.289 monkey. Mark took Rob to a local zoo so he could 00:33:17.289 --> 00:33:19.690 be with the other monkeys. Here are the adventures 00:33:19.690 --> 00:33:26.069 of Rob, the capuchin monkey. Shh, be very quiet. 00:33:27.240 --> 00:33:29.759 to listen in as rob the capuchin monkey tries 00:33:29.759 --> 00:33:32.160 to sell the rest of the capuchin monkeys amway 00:33:32.160 --> 00:33:34.700 rob has always dreamed of becoming a diamond 00:33:34.700 --> 00:33:59.000 status amway as a capuchin monkey Little did 00:33:59.000 --> 00:34:02.740 our hero Rob know. All the great apes owned stock 00:34:02.740 --> 00:34:05.079 in Sam's Club and became violently pissed off 00:34:05.079 --> 00:34:06.920 when he tried to infringe on their territory. 00:34:07.359 --> 00:34:09.760 They promptly grabbed switches and beat his ass 00:34:09.760 --> 00:34:12.420 for three days straight. Rob could not sit down. 00:34:13.679 --> 00:34:17.340 Yes, it's true. Mark is an old bastard. It's 00:34:17.340 --> 00:34:19.940 also true that Mark uses a lot of ibuprofen. 00:34:20.420 --> 00:34:23.559 But Mark would like to tell you, if you see any 00:34:23.559 --> 00:34:27.320 pictures of him roofing ibuprofen. It's obviously 00:34:27.320 --> 00:34:29.719 fake, and you're to take the pictures and tear 00:34:29.719 --> 00:34:36.099 them up immediately. Jam X, what the hell happened? 00:34:37.380 --> 00:34:43.500 You were the generation of change. You never 00:34:43.500 --> 00:34:46.820 wanted to be one of them. At the feet, spoke 00:34:46.820 --> 00:34:52.900 for you. Fuck the man, fuck the system. What 00:34:52.900 --> 00:34:57.380 the hell happened? The generation of angst, the 00:34:57.380 --> 00:35:01.340 generation of non -compliance is now buying a 00:35:01.340 --> 00:35:04.460 boat. You're really fed up to kill someone who 00:35:04.460 --> 00:35:09.340 dangled a dollar near you. Great job, Xers. Everything's 00:35:09.340 --> 00:35:16.260 ruined. The boll weevil clap. Read up on that 00:35:16.260 --> 00:35:21.460 sometime. The boll weevil clap is this old guy 00:35:21.460 --> 00:35:25.369 that I knew that was in Vietnam. I probably should 00:35:25.369 --> 00:35:27.030 say, well, you know what, you can take this part 00:35:27.030 --> 00:35:30.110 out of here if you like it, and we can put it 00:35:30.110 --> 00:35:32.070 somewhere. But this old guy that I knew down 00:35:32.070 --> 00:35:34.550 the road from me, he was in Vietnam. He told 00:35:34.550 --> 00:35:37.769 me that one day, you know, him and a couple of 00:35:37.769 --> 00:35:42.349 guys got a day off from the war, so they went 00:35:42.349 --> 00:35:44.570 into the nearest town to go look for some hookers. 00:35:44.570 --> 00:35:46.250 You know, they're like, you know, if we're going 00:35:46.250 --> 00:35:48.929 to die, we're going to get laid. So, okay, all 00:35:48.929 --> 00:35:52.530 right. So they go in there, and I guess the Viet 00:35:52.530 --> 00:35:57.670 Cong, loaded the prostitutes full of this stuff 00:35:57.670 --> 00:36:03.110 called the boll weevil clap. Yeah. Oh, it is. 00:36:03.849 --> 00:36:06.110 So anyhow, he said, you know, they all went and, 00:36:06.110 --> 00:36:09.190 you know, did what they needed to do. You know, 00:36:09.210 --> 00:36:10.690 they thought they were all going to die, so they 00:36:10.690 --> 00:36:12.949 went and they got laid. And the next day, when 00:36:12.949 --> 00:36:15.050 a guy comes in, he goes, oh, my God, he goes, 00:36:15.110 --> 00:36:18.940 I hurt so bad. You know, my fucking dick hurts 00:36:18.940 --> 00:36:22.300 like hell. My stomach hurts. I think I'm going 00:36:22.300 --> 00:36:24.579 to die. What'd they do with those damn hookers? 00:36:25.000 --> 00:36:28.019 So anyhow, and he started hurting really bad. 00:36:28.079 --> 00:36:30.260 He said it hurt so bad you could hardly breathe. 00:36:30.440 --> 00:36:32.400 You could feel it in your dick shaft. It hurt 00:36:32.400 --> 00:36:36.840 so bad. So they all go in. And I guess it's like 00:36:36.840 --> 00:36:39.659 a horrible infection. And if you don't get it 00:36:39.659 --> 00:36:41.940 treated, it will kill you. Like, you know, go 00:36:41.940 --> 00:36:45.900 up your scrotum and your testicles. And anyhow. 00:36:46.670 --> 00:36:49.610 The only cure back then was they had to take 00:36:49.610 --> 00:36:53.849 this glass rod, shove it in the end of your penis, 00:36:54.030 --> 00:36:58.590 and mash it with a rubber mallet. And then you 00:36:58.590 --> 00:37:01.429 have to physically squeeze all the infection 00:37:01.429 --> 00:37:05.869 out of your penis. I've heard of this. Yes. And 00:37:05.869 --> 00:37:11.710 this took like four hours of mashing this. rod 00:37:11.710 --> 00:37:14.070 and then squeezing all the infection out because 00:37:14.070 --> 00:37:15.750 if they don't get all the infection out right 00:37:15.750 --> 00:37:18.090 then... It just flares right back up. Yes. Seals 00:37:18.090 --> 00:37:21.269 your pee -pee shut. Yes. Yeah, that was the old 00:37:21.269 --> 00:37:24.269 joke of, you know, if you catch VD, your dick's 00:37:24.269 --> 00:37:26.909 going to turn black and fall off, but there are 00:37:26.909 --> 00:37:29.309 actually STDs. That was the worst case scenario, 00:37:29.610 --> 00:37:32.110 yeah. It actually will turn black and fall off 00:37:32.110 --> 00:37:35.309 because the tissue will die. Yeah, it's kind 00:37:35.309 --> 00:37:39.610 of like a Gann Green type of deal, you know, 00:37:39.630 --> 00:37:43.489 or something like that. So anyhow, yeah, he said 00:37:43.489 --> 00:37:47.610 after that, he said, no, no more hookers. So. 00:37:56.969 --> 00:38:00.050 Two douchebags and microphone. I'm Mark here 00:38:00.050 --> 00:38:02.630 in the Kansas City area at the Talk is Cheap 00:38:02.630 --> 00:38:26.550 studio. Alright, we've got some emails, Rob. 00:38:26.929 --> 00:38:31.190 Should I get to them? Yeah, let's do it. Alright, 00:38:31.389 --> 00:38:34.969 first one. I'm sorry, I've been absent for a 00:38:34.969 --> 00:38:37.829 while. I've been a little busy and my reception, 00:38:37.829 --> 00:38:40.110 which I'm starting to figure out. Yeah, you got 00:38:40.110 --> 00:38:44.329 it figured out, so that's all that counts. Alright, 00:38:44.769 --> 00:38:47.750 congratulations to Rob. All us Douche fans are 00:38:47.750 --> 00:38:51.869 happy for him. Now, could you do more Uncle Rob 00:38:51.869 --> 00:38:54.960 stuff? Please and thank you, Roscoe and Dallas. 00:38:56.559 --> 00:38:58.619 Did you notice what he put on the end of that? 00:38:59.239 --> 00:39:07.659 Please and thank you. I'm telling you, our listenership, 00:39:07.719 --> 00:39:11.780 I swear, they are really intelligent because 00:39:11.780 --> 00:39:14.659 some of these comebacks that they come up with, 00:39:14.760 --> 00:39:17.500 it's just awesome. Oh, it's Roscoe and Dallas 00:39:17.500 --> 00:39:19.500 is the guy that sent it, so thank you, Roscoe. 00:39:21.199 --> 00:39:24.679 Thank you, Roscoe. We're going to do more Rob's 00:39:24.679 --> 00:39:28.739 Tips for Life. Yes. Gosh, we're going to have 00:39:28.739 --> 00:39:32.900 to. The wedding is good. Life is going to start 00:39:32.900 --> 00:39:36.179 settling down some. Grant, I've got a lot to 00:39:36.179 --> 00:39:39.199 do. I will explain that to you off air. Okay. 00:39:39.880 --> 00:39:43.699 But it's really flattering how much they care, 00:39:43.880 --> 00:39:48.840 isn't it? Yes. especially a segment that i never 00:39:48.840 --> 00:39:51.099 thought that much of did you i mean i thought 00:39:51.099 --> 00:39:53.699 it was cute but i didn't think it was that prolific 00:39:53.699 --> 00:39:57.239 that big of a deal but everybody seems to just 00:39:57.239 --> 00:40:00.139 like be nuts over that and there's only one we 00:40:00.139 --> 00:40:03.539 only have one segment and everyone loves it so 00:40:03.539 --> 00:40:07.159 we're coming up with more don't worry i just 00:40:07.159 --> 00:40:09.280 need rob to say a couple of words here and there 00:40:09.280 --> 00:40:12.099 and i've got everything else it's gonna be good 00:40:12.099 --> 00:40:22.250 it's soon so We're going to have so much Rob 00:40:22.250 --> 00:40:24.650 for you, you're going to get sick of him, right? 00:40:24.829 --> 00:40:28.610 Yeah. There you go. All right, next one. Mark, 00:40:28.750 --> 00:40:32.510 I have a for real scone recipe that's straight 00:40:32.510 --> 00:40:35.510 from a family cookbook from Italy. I've attached 00:40:35.510 --> 00:40:38.670 the recipe. Keep up the great work, guys. Love 00:40:38.670 --> 00:40:45.070 you. Razzy in D .C. Awesome. Razzy? Please resend 00:40:45.070 --> 00:40:47.409 it. Mail .com has a few issues with attachments 00:40:47.409 --> 00:40:50.550 for some reason. They think that it's all malicious 00:40:50.550 --> 00:40:55.909 when it isn't. And so it likes to block this 00:40:55.909 --> 00:40:58.389 stuff from me. I saw where you tried to send 00:40:58.389 --> 00:41:00.750 something, but it's just like the codec for it, 00:41:00.769 --> 00:41:04.469 but it wasn't actually the attachment. So please 00:41:04.469 --> 00:41:07.150 send it again, and if not, I'll give you my personal 00:41:07.150 --> 00:41:11.389 email to just send it to me. But first, try it 00:41:11.389 --> 00:41:14.289 one more time, 2douchesatmail .com. And if that 00:41:14.289 --> 00:41:16.210 doesn't work, if it doesn't come through again, 00:41:16.429 --> 00:41:19.329 then I'll have you do a different email. So thank 00:41:19.329 --> 00:41:26.429 you, Razzy. Thank you. All right, next one. Mark, 00:41:26.610 --> 00:41:29.150 fuck off. Nobody just gives you three dozen scones. 00:41:29.190 --> 00:41:33.949 I call bullshit on you. Jesse in Montana. Jesse, 00:41:34.090 --> 00:41:36.769 have you ever tried to argue with people that 00:41:36.769 --> 00:41:39.900 use English language half the time? It's not 00:41:39.900 --> 00:41:42.679 an easy task. Simply you get tired of trying 00:41:42.679 --> 00:41:44.880 to explain to them, and you just take the fucking 00:41:44.880 --> 00:41:49.559 scones and you leave. I had to. I sat there and 00:41:49.559 --> 00:41:51.920 tried to talk to every one of them, and yeah, 00:41:51.960 --> 00:41:53.679 they understood English, but not really well. 00:41:54.380 --> 00:41:55.840 and when I'm sitting there trying to tell them 00:41:55.840 --> 00:41:57.820 something serious, they think I'm fucking around. 00:41:58.340 --> 00:42:01.480 It was a situation where I didn't have a whole 00:42:01.480 --> 00:42:03.880 lot of time, and I got tired of arguing with 00:42:03.880 --> 00:42:06.000 them, and I realized they were for free, so I 00:42:06.000 --> 00:42:07.739 didn't have to shell out $100. I'm like, all 00:42:07.739 --> 00:42:10.440 right, fuck it. I'm just going to take it. I 00:42:10.440 --> 00:42:13.000 tried everything in my power to convince them 00:42:13.000 --> 00:42:16.199 I wasn't this Costas guy that I thought I was, 00:42:16.219 --> 00:42:19.199 or Dino Sun, or whatever. So that's just the 00:42:19.199 --> 00:42:21.760 way it is. So, you know, if you don't believe 00:42:21.760 --> 00:42:23.840 her or whatever, I don't give a shit. So, all 00:42:23.840 --> 00:42:29.719 right. Next one. Rob, I got my schedule cleared 00:42:29.719 --> 00:42:32.699 to visit Lucas Oil Speedway. I might feel like 00:42:32.699 --> 00:42:35.980 revealing myself to you this summer. By the way, 00:42:36.019 --> 00:42:38.599 we're digging out a Lake Freeman speed track 00:42:38.599 --> 00:42:42.019 to compete with Lucas Oil. We're trying to get 00:42:42.019 --> 00:42:45.380 a Bucky sponsorship. Mitch from Freeman, Rob's 00:42:45.380 --> 00:42:52.880 buddy. Got anything, Rob? I'm sure you do. Well, 00:42:52.980 --> 00:42:55.360 first off, if you get Bucky's to sponsor it, 00:42:55.400 --> 00:42:59.019 that's gold. I'll be there every damn night. 00:42:59.380 --> 00:43:02.739 First off, I have something I have to get for 00:43:02.739 --> 00:43:05.099 my cousin's wife that's going to go off Facebook. 00:43:06.400 --> 00:43:09.960 One thing I did not mention on the way back from 00:43:09.960 --> 00:43:14.440 Branson, we made a pit stop in Springfield. Okay. 00:43:19.349 --> 00:43:24.489 And my cousin got a picture of me with Bucky. 00:43:25.210 --> 00:43:28.429 It's going to go on the Facebook page. I can't 00:43:28.429 --> 00:43:32.670 forget to get it from her. And he patted me on 00:43:32.670 --> 00:43:47.420 the back. And he also signed a loincloth for 00:43:47.420 --> 00:43:52.599 Bucky. Yes, I did. Bucky was going to wear it 00:43:52.599 --> 00:43:58.300 the next day. Speaking of loincloths, Rob, I 00:43:58.300 --> 00:44:00.519 bought a loincloth. If I send it to you with 00:44:00.519 --> 00:44:04.300 return postage, would you sign it for me? I don't 00:44:04.300 --> 00:44:07.639 want Mark's signature. Ruth Ann in North Central 00:44:07.639 --> 00:44:13.829 Ohio. Oh, Ruth Ann! I love you, girl. I don't 00:44:13.829 --> 00:44:16.130 think it's her. I missed you. Rob, I don't think 00:44:16.130 --> 00:44:19.110 it's her. I had to do a lot, a lot of digging. 00:44:19.329 --> 00:44:22.989 You think so? She just switched emails? That's 00:44:22.989 --> 00:44:26.670 why it was to me, not you. Okay. North Central 00:44:26.670 --> 00:44:30.230 Ohio, Ruthann. All right, well, Ruthann. How 00:44:30.230 --> 00:44:34.650 long could it be? Ruthann, keep being his buddy. 00:44:34.889 --> 00:44:37.349 Thank you, Ruthann. Thank you, Ruthann. It's 00:44:37.349 --> 00:44:39.909 about time. I cannot believe the way you ditched 00:44:39.909 --> 00:44:42.070 him because you were mad at me. Yes, Ruthann. 00:44:46.130 --> 00:44:49.610 I definitely will. There you go, Ruthann in North 00:44:49.610 --> 00:44:52.469 Central Ohio. Oh, by the way, Ruthann, sorry 00:44:52.469 --> 00:44:57.730 about your bangles. They lost their ass. I said 00:44:57.730 --> 00:45:00.849 I was sorry. I wasn't laughing. I said I was 00:45:00.849 --> 00:45:03.550 sorry. Hey, you really can't talk about our Chiefs 00:45:03.550 --> 00:45:06.570 right now either, so come on. Oh, fuck no. No, 00:45:06.590 --> 00:45:11.869 we cannot. No, I'm not. I'm not. No, our Chiefs 00:45:11.869 --> 00:45:16.409 are... Our Chiefs are horrible. No, I told... 00:45:16.409 --> 00:45:20.570 I just got her back. Come on. Okay, you're right. 00:45:20.849 --> 00:45:23.369 But I was sincerely sorry about it because I 00:45:23.369 --> 00:45:26.409 wanted them to win. But Buffalo, I don't know 00:45:26.409 --> 00:45:30.210 what the fuck. So, all right. Mark, what was 00:45:30.210 --> 00:45:37.710 your favorite childhood TV show? And I want your... 00:45:37.710 --> 00:45:42.110 After I get done, I want yours, too. So, Johnny 00:45:42.110 --> 00:45:47.869 Sacco. That stands out to me. Godzilla, anything? 00:45:50.210 --> 00:45:56.429 1980s... Mine is pretty much Underdog. Cool. 00:45:57.750 --> 00:46:04.730 And... Actually, real life shows, I think I would 00:46:04.730 --> 00:46:08.329 have to go Gilligan's Island. Oh, yeah, Gilligan's 00:46:08.329 --> 00:46:25.980 Island is one, yeah. Because Skipper. Yeah. Oh, 00:46:26.099 --> 00:46:30.320 I got another one. Friday Fright Night. First, 00:46:30.539 --> 00:46:37.159 it was the late Ed Mascari, who had an issue 00:46:37.159 --> 00:46:41.760 with children out in California and ended up 00:46:41.760 --> 00:46:44.000 going to prison, and he ended up passing away. 00:46:45.840 --> 00:46:49.579 But as a young boy starting puberty, after him 00:46:49.579 --> 00:46:55.070 was cremation and mortem. Yes. That was a tugger. 00:46:55.250 --> 00:47:00.530 She was a tugger, wasn't she? Yes. Yeah, she 00:47:00.530 --> 00:47:03.610 was a tugger. Yeah, she used to wear those vampy 00:47:03.610 --> 00:47:08.130 outfits, the vampirilla outfits, and deliver 00:47:08.130 --> 00:47:11.030 some really, really good horror movies on Friday 00:47:11.030 --> 00:47:16.170 night. And Uncle Ed or Ed Mascari, that guy was 00:47:16.170 --> 00:47:18.730 a creep, obviously, but he was pretty entertaining, 00:47:18.909 --> 00:47:49.519 right? Yeah, he was. No. You asked. Yeah. And 00:47:49.519 --> 00:47:53.039 he did the thing with his hand where he'd hold 00:47:53.039 --> 00:47:57.079 it up. So, anyhow, you know what? Only certain 00:47:57.079 --> 00:47:58.900 people get that, and I'll bet you that's like 00:47:58.900 --> 00:48:01.440 me, you, and one other person, so I'll just shut 00:48:01.440 --> 00:48:07.519 up. So, how's that? Hey, Rob, you know what time 00:48:07.519 --> 00:48:22.940 it is? Go ahead. Go ahead. Best segment ever 00:48:22.940 --> 00:49:53.340 in the history of the world. That's okay. Wow. 00:49:53.900 --> 00:49:59.639 Yeah. Name says it all. Yeah. Soon after the 00:49:59.639 --> 00:50:03.679 diagnosis, Sam fell into a coma where he remained 00:50:03.679 --> 00:50:08.739 for 420 days. He woke up paralyzed, unable to 00:50:08.739 --> 00:50:12.360 eat without a tube, or move without intense effort. 00:50:12.619 --> 00:50:16.219 He required 24 -hour care, seven days a week. 00:50:16.440 --> 00:50:33.690 He died. Yes. Wow. Well, that's all we have for 00:50:33.690 --> 00:50:36.829 today. All right. Very good. Thank you, Rob. 00:50:40.110 --> 00:50:44.150 Let's see. Looking for here. A couple of stories 00:50:44.150 --> 00:50:50.679 here. All right. When Philadelphia roommates 00:50:50.679 --> 00:50:54.860 Jessica Yang, 33, and Nicole DiNardo, 31, moved 00:50:54.860 --> 00:50:58.699 in together in 2022, they both cared for Yang's 00:50:58.699 --> 00:51:02.519 cat, Gary. Later, as Yang tackled a home renovation 00:51:02.519 --> 00:51:07.219 project, DiNardo offered to care for Gary, People 00:51:07.219 --> 00:51:09.780 magazine reported. However, Yang learned that 00:51:09.780 --> 00:51:13.320 DiNardo had changed Gary's last name at the vet 00:51:13.320 --> 00:51:15.800 and added herself to his microchip information, 00:51:16.320 --> 00:51:22.789 making it seem... as if she was his owner. DiNardo 00:51:22.789 --> 00:51:25.309 argued that the vet's office made the name change 00:51:25.309 --> 00:51:28.650 on their own, and she was only trying to protect 00:51:28.650 --> 00:51:31.670 him by adding her name to the emergency information. 00:51:32.590 --> 00:51:35.829 Still, she and Yang clashed when it was time 00:51:35.829 --> 00:51:41.030 to move out of their apartment and who thought 00:51:41.030 --> 00:51:44.699 they were the real owner of Gary the Cat. She 00:51:44.699 --> 00:51:47.360 said, I was unfit to be a pet parent, Yang said. 00:51:47.500 --> 00:51:51.219 In December 2024, Yang sued DiNardo to the tune 00:51:51.219 --> 00:51:54.239 of $20 ,000. And on November 5th, the court ruled 00:51:54.239 --> 00:51:57.039 in favor of Yang because she had originally bought 00:51:57.039 --> 00:52:00.119 the cat. I just hope she's okay and she has all 00:52:00.119 --> 00:52:02.199 the things she needs and is living a good life, 00:52:02.300 --> 00:52:05.820 DiNardo said. So, that was a pretty good little 00:52:05.820 --> 00:52:10.800 pussy war, wasn't it? Yeah, yeah. A little tug 00:52:10.800 --> 00:52:13.719 of war over pussy. All right, well. Good deal. 00:52:13.840 --> 00:52:17.000 Good deal. So, all right. Let's take our second 00:52:17.000 --> 00:52:20.760 break and come right back. Sound about right? 00:52:20.880 --> 00:52:23.400 All right. Okay. Oh, new guy's on suspension 00:52:23.400 --> 00:52:28.000 for right now. Okay. Yeah, yeah. He was being 00:52:28.000 --> 00:52:30.500 a real dick last night. I know. He's gone. Yep, 00:52:30.619 --> 00:52:33.500 yep, yep. New guy's on suspension, and we're 00:52:33.500 --> 00:52:35.219 going to take your votes. We're going to take 00:52:35.219 --> 00:52:37.659 your votes out there whether you want him to 00:52:37.659 --> 00:52:41.090 stay or not. Let us know. He's on suspension. 00:52:41.369 --> 00:52:48.170 He's on a two -week suspension, I think. This 00:52:48.170 --> 00:52:51.670 is his second week. We might give him another 00:52:51.670 --> 00:52:54.210 chance if his attitude changes a little bit. 00:52:54.250 --> 00:52:57.889 If his attitude changes a little bit, we might 00:52:57.889 --> 00:53:01.309 have him back. We'll see. But, I mean, he does 00:53:01.309 --> 00:53:03.530 not miss an opportunity to motherfuck us, does 00:53:03.530 --> 00:53:07.670 he? No. No. All righty. We're going to be right 00:53:07.670 --> 00:53:12.510 back. Our constant pursuit for a real knee slapper. 00:53:12.829 --> 00:53:17.070 It's strange insults from an alien. Real hilarity. 00:53:17.289 --> 00:53:20.949 You are dressed like an assistant debate coach 00:53:20.949 --> 00:53:26.650 at an Ohio State middle school. Introducing Rob 00:53:26.650 --> 00:53:29.610 Rad's new book, How to Track Your Enemy by Scent. 00:53:29.909 --> 00:53:32.590 That's right, smell your enemy before they get 00:53:32.590 --> 00:53:35.110 you. Order this gem now and get a free virtual 00:53:35.110 --> 00:53:37.690 tour of Rob's secret bunker in Camderton, Missouri. 00:53:38.349 --> 00:53:40.909 Also receive a free copy of his new book, How 00:53:40.909 --> 00:53:47.349 to Clean Raw Sewage for Food. Have you ever wondered 00:53:47.349 --> 00:53:49.590 what something came about? Have you ever looked 00:53:49.590 --> 00:53:51.469 at something and said, Hey, I wonder what the 00:53:51.469 --> 00:53:55.150 origin of that is? Well, so have we. That's why 00:53:55.150 --> 00:54:01.230 we give you The Origin of. The Origin of the 00:54:01.230 --> 00:54:03.829 Goatee. The Goatee is a beard style that dates 00:54:03.829 --> 00:54:06.570 back to ancient Greece and Rome. and is named 00:54:06.570 --> 00:54:10.449 for its resemblance to a goat's beard. The goatee 00:54:10.449 --> 00:54:12.650 has been worn by many famous men throughout history, 00:54:12.769 --> 00:54:16.349 including Uncle Sam, Henry M. Hoyt, and Mr. Spock. 00:54:16.730 --> 00:54:19.230 The gobham was often depicted with a goatee, 00:54:19.230 --> 00:54:21.869 and in medieval and Renaissance art, Satan was 00:54:21.869 --> 00:54:24.730 depicted with a goatee as well. The goatee became 00:54:24.730 --> 00:54:28.309 popular again in the 1940s as a defining trait 00:54:28.309 --> 00:54:31.539 of the beatniks and jazz musicians. It fell out 00:54:31.539 --> 00:54:34.380 of favor again in the 1960s, but became fashionable 00:54:34.380 --> 00:54:37.980 again in the 1990s and 2000s. The term goatee 00:54:37.980 --> 00:54:41.179 originated in the late 20th century. It was originally 00:54:41.179 --> 00:54:47.320 called a goatee. Strange, but true. There are 00:54:47.320 --> 00:54:49.599 deep -sea fish with transparent heads and visible 00:54:49.599 --> 00:54:52.079 brains. The barrel -eye fish looks like something 00:54:52.079 --> 00:54:54.559 from an alien autopsy. Its head is literally 00:54:54.559 --> 00:54:56.940 see -through, and you can watch its eyes swivel 00:54:56.940 --> 00:55:01.480 inside like little green orbs of doom. Hey there, 00:55:01.539 --> 00:55:04.219 fuckstick. You're just in time for brand new 00:55:04.219 --> 00:55:07.719 feature news nobody gives a shit about. An 80 00:55:07.719 --> 00:55:10.539 -year -old Virginia man hangs upside down for 00:55:10.539 --> 00:55:22.880 two hours a day. Oh, Lord. That man just sawed 00:55:22.880 --> 00:55:26.559 a puppy in half. Hey there. Don't worry. I have 00:55:26.559 --> 00:55:36.900 a clown nose. One guy just hit my child. It is 00:55:36.900 --> 00:55:42.239 okay. I have a clown nose. Clown nose. Just put 00:55:42.239 --> 00:55:45.039 one on and you can do anything. Want to run for 00:55:45.039 --> 00:55:48.280 office? Murder people in public? Just grab a 00:55:48.280 --> 00:55:52.320 clown nose and bam, everyone laughs. Clown noses 00:55:52.320 --> 00:55:54.059 are sold at keg stores online and pedophile conventions. 00:55:54.300 --> 00:55:56.900 Grab one today and make magic happen. Hey, you 00:55:56.900 --> 00:55:59.239 yankers. We often think many things are just 00:55:59.239 --> 00:56:01.239 true because we've heard it our whole lives. 00:56:01.400 --> 00:56:04.099 That's why here at Two Douchebags and Microphone, 00:56:04.119 --> 00:56:07.980 we developed the segment, Not True. We investigate 00:56:07.980 --> 00:56:10.699 and uncover the real truth of what happened. 00:56:11.900 --> 00:56:14.659 Common thought for years was that if someone 00:56:14.659 --> 00:56:16.800 was to throw a penny off the Empire State Building 00:56:16.800 --> 00:56:19.480 and it was to hit somebody, it would kill them. 00:56:20.619 --> 00:56:23.099 The fact is, dropped pennies from the Empire 00:56:23.099 --> 00:56:25.719 State Building will not kill a person. It would 00:56:25.719 --> 00:56:28.559 leave an incredibly painful red mark, but should 00:56:28.559 --> 00:56:32.239 not kill you. Oh, man, what the fuck is this? 00:56:32.260 --> 00:56:36.440 Is this a new feature? What's inside Mark's head? 00:56:37.920 --> 00:56:41.960 Sounds stupid to me. If you took my first name 00:56:41.960 --> 00:56:47.719 backwards, it would read as Cram. Arambe used 00:56:47.719 --> 00:56:50.039 to listen to our original show, Too Dipsious 00:56:50.039 --> 00:56:52.420 and Cheap Radio Shack Realistic Tape Recorder. 00:56:52.860 --> 00:56:55.579 Harambe does not listen to our original show, 00:56:55.719 --> 00:56:58.039 Two Dipshits and a Cheap Radio Shack Realistic 00:56:58.039 --> 00:57:01.659 Tape Recorder anymore. You might ask why Harambe 00:57:01.659 --> 00:57:04.079 never listens to our original show, Two Dipshits 00:57:04.079 --> 00:57:06.380 and a Cheap Radio Shack Realistic Tape Recorder. 00:57:06.900 --> 00:57:10.380 Well, it's because Harambe is dead. Senselessly 00:57:10.380 --> 00:57:12.300 murdered because some idiot did not watch her 00:57:12.300 --> 00:57:15.300 child properly while looking on her phone. Sadly, 00:57:15.420 --> 00:57:17.420 Harambe does not listen to our original show, 00:57:17.539 --> 00:57:19.659 Two Dipshits and a Cheap Radio Shack Realistic 00:57:19.659 --> 00:57:23.699 Tape Recorder or any other show. anymore. Sorry 00:57:23.699 --> 00:57:26.820 Harambe. Hey my fellow heavy breathers this is 00:57:26.820 --> 00:57:34.480 Dash Riptide with your music news. For a nerd 00:57:34.480 --> 00:57:36.820 to take center stage on Stranger Things float 00:57:36.820 --> 00:57:39.559 at Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. I remember 00:57:39.559 --> 00:57:41.800 the infamous Kiss float years ago where the large 00:57:41.800 --> 00:57:44.480 Gibson guitar on their float was replaced with 00:57:44.480 --> 00:57:47.099 a much smaller ugly one. Paul was seen mincing 00:57:47.099 --> 00:57:49.500 and bitching so in other words he was being normal. 00:57:51.699 --> 00:57:54.539 George Thorogood has announced a world tour. 00:57:56.559 --> 00:58:00.840 Minus the rest of the world. It kicks off March 00:58:00.840 --> 00:58:03.500 8th. Thousand Oaks, California. March 10th. Napa, 00:58:03.599 --> 00:58:05.920 California. March 17th. Kamloops, California. 00:58:06.179 --> 00:58:09.179 March 19th. Parkland, California. It ends in 00:58:09.179 --> 00:58:12.380 Fort Wayne on March 31st with a Hamilton, Canada 00:58:12.380 --> 00:58:14.739 three days later. And that appears to be all 00:58:14.739 --> 00:58:19.539 the tour as of date. He is 150, so he probably 00:58:19.539 --> 00:58:22.219 is not going to tour more than that. This is 00:58:22.219 --> 00:58:24.940 Gash Ruketine, and that was your music news. 00:58:25.400 --> 00:58:28.059 If it's too loud, you probably have ear damage, 00:58:28.179 --> 00:58:50.300 just like me. Two douchebags and microphone. 00:58:50.460 --> 00:58:54.539 I'm Mark here in the Kansas City area at the 00:58:54.539 --> 00:59:01.860 Talk is Cheap studio. And I am Rob from Wheatland, 00:59:01.960 --> 00:59:06.320 Missouri, home of the magnificent Lucas Oil Speedway 00:59:06.320 --> 00:59:11.900 and beautiful Wheatland RV Park from the new 00:59:11.900 --> 00:59:17.420 Duck Barn studio. All right. Rob, we turn it 00:59:17.420 --> 00:59:32.150 over to you. Cool. Okay. So imagine you're going 00:59:32.150 --> 00:59:35.670 to work on a perfectly normal morning, coffee 00:59:35.670 --> 00:59:40.250 at hand, Spotify playlist doing its thing, eventually 00:59:40.250 --> 00:59:43.369 preparing to pretend you love being at the bank 00:59:43.369 --> 01:02:18.730 again, or I guess wherever you work. Okay. Thank 01:02:18.730 --> 01:03:02.039 you. what is going on in North Carolina wildlife 01:03:02.039 --> 01:03:06.719 officials did chime in all calmly like this is 01:03:06.719 --> 01:04:15.389 a Tuesday for them I do, too. That was pretty 01:04:15.389 --> 01:04:22.210 cool. Thank you, Rob. You're welcome. There's 01:04:22.210 --> 01:04:27.989 EV driver issue, warning issues about troubling 01:04:27.989 --> 01:04:32.550 trends in the U .S. roadways. A Facebook post 01:04:32.550 --> 01:04:35.469 from a Mustang Mach -E owner, which is the electric 01:04:35.469 --> 01:04:38.940 Mustang. Owner is gaining traction online after 01:04:38.940 --> 01:04:41.420 describing a string of unprovoked harassment 01:04:41.420 --> 01:04:44.440 and even property damage directed at electric 01:04:44.440 --> 01:04:48.179 vehicle drivers. The post shared in the Mustang 01:04:48.179 --> 01:04:51.460 Mach -E owner's Facebook group has sparked a 01:04:51.460 --> 01:04:54.420 larger conversation about why some people still 01:04:54.420 --> 01:04:58.340 respond with hostility towards EVs. In the post, 01:04:58.400 --> 01:05:04.300 Mach -E driver Cesar Alf describes encountering 01:05:04.300 --> 01:05:07.400 an EV hater. yelling at him at a traffic light. 01:05:08.179 --> 01:05:11.920 He also mentioned a friend whose EV was scratched, 01:05:12.300 --> 01:05:15.699 someone scratched the whole side of his car with 01:05:15.699 --> 01:05:18.019 a key or something like that in a parking lot. 01:05:18.719 --> 01:05:21.260 Damage, he believes, came from jealous critics 01:05:21.260 --> 01:05:26.760 of electric cars. Every day, they are less, he 01:05:26.760 --> 01:05:29.099 added, focusing on the brighter side of the EV 01:05:29.099 --> 01:05:32.119 ownership groups worldwide. The comments revealed 01:05:32.119 --> 01:05:36.579 just how widespread and inconsistent these experiences 01:05:36.579 --> 01:05:40.219 can be. Some drivers ascribe gas car owners revving 01:05:40.219 --> 01:05:43.719 aggressively as they pass or drivers of lifted 01:05:43.719 --> 01:05:46.599 trucks attempting to intimidate them. Others 01:05:46.599 --> 01:05:49.260 say online forums are filled with people spreading 01:05:49.260 --> 01:05:53.199 negativity about EVs as a hobby. Well, I don't 01:05:53.199 --> 01:05:56.380 get that. I mean, do you? Who cares if it's a 01:05:56.380 --> 01:05:58.380 hobby or not? I don't know why anyone would. 01:05:58.539 --> 01:06:01.500 I don't think it's a hobby. No, I think what 01:06:01.500 --> 01:06:06.010 it is is I think that like people, um think that 01:06:06.010 --> 01:06:10.550 there's it's kind of hard to i don't know number 01:06:10.550 --> 01:06:12.309 one i don't know why anyone would give a shit 01:06:12.309 --> 01:06:14.650 what someone else drives right and especially 01:06:14.650 --> 01:06:17.150 if it's a cleaner vehicle i mean i think what 01:06:17.150 --> 01:06:21.409 it is is i think people think that these ev cars 01:06:21.409 --> 01:06:23.730 were forced down our throat when they should 01:06:23.730 --> 01:06:25.690 have been looking at other alternative forms 01:06:25.690 --> 01:06:29.769 uh you know that take less power But, I mean, 01:06:29.769 --> 01:06:32.869 there's no reason to go after somebody. And the 01:06:32.869 --> 01:06:34.789 Teslas are a whole different thing, people doing 01:06:34.789 --> 01:06:37.849 shit to them. But plenty of owners reported the 01:06:37.849 --> 01:06:40.949 opposite curiosity, support, or no reaction at 01:06:40.949 --> 01:06:43.510 all, especially in areas where half the vehicles 01:06:43.510 --> 01:06:45.949 on the road are already hybrids or fully electric. 01:06:46.530 --> 01:06:49.789 This kind of hostility has real consequences. 01:06:50.329 --> 01:06:52.849 Harassing EV drivers or vandalizing their cars 01:06:52.849 --> 01:06:55.409 can discourage new buyers and slow the shift 01:06:55.409 --> 01:06:58.260 away from gas and oil. Transportation is responsible 01:06:58.260 --> 01:07:01.340 for more than 16 % of global carbon pollution. 01:07:01.960 --> 01:07:04.800 This is a huge problem in America. The people 01:07:04.800 --> 01:07:06.840 that can't handle someone having a differing 01:07:06.840 --> 01:07:10.739 opinion than you do, you need to cancel them, 01:07:10.860 --> 01:07:14.099 is a completely sick idea. I agree with that. 01:07:16.239 --> 01:07:20.519 Too many people in America have lost their let 01:07:20.519 --> 01:07:24.900 it be, I guess. You know what I'm saying? They're 01:07:24.900 --> 01:07:27.219 like, okay, they're not like me. I don't care, 01:07:27.300 --> 01:07:31.780 though. They don't have to be. To each their 01:07:31.780 --> 01:07:34.980 own. Yeah, yeah, exactly. People seem to be, 01:07:35.000 --> 01:07:38.719 you know, yeah. People seem to worry about what 01:07:38.719 --> 01:07:42.440 someone else thinks or feels when really it's 01:07:42.440 --> 01:07:47.840 none of our business. So, anyhow. All right, 01:07:47.860 --> 01:07:50.579 that's enough of me on the pulpit. So, Rob, please 01:07:50.579 --> 01:08:02.280 go ahead. A raccoon broke into a liquor store 01:08:02.280 --> 01:08:05.659 by falling through the ceiling, got into the 01:08:05.659 --> 01:08:07.739 bottles, and then passed out in the bathroom. 01:08:09.380 --> 01:08:13.199 The animal created havoc in the ABC in Ashland, 01:08:13.239 --> 01:08:16.420 Virginia on Saturday, smashing multiple bottles 01:08:16.420 --> 01:08:20.020 of liquor on the floor, which it then drank up. 01:08:20.840 --> 01:09:07.939 Hanover County is... That's funny. He was simply 01:09:07.939 --> 01:09:11.119 released back to the wild, hopefully having learned 01:09:11.119 --> 01:09:14.279 that breaking and entering is not the answer. 01:09:14.399 --> 01:09:17.340 According to the Independent, Sam Martin was 01:09:17.340 --> 01:09:20.220 the animal control at the scene. I personally 01:09:20.220 --> 01:09:23.520 like raccoons, she said. They are funny little 01:09:23.520 --> 01:09:25.739 critters. He fell through one of the ceiling 01:09:25.739 --> 01:09:28.960 tiles and went on a full -blown rampage, reaching 01:09:28.960 --> 01:09:42.279 everything. I saw the pictures of the raccoon 01:09:42.279 --> 01:09:46.500 laying next to all the bottles. Oh my God, that 01:09:46.500 --> 01:09:53.100 was funny. It really looked like a drunken sailor, 01:09:53.100 --> 01:09:57.199 didn't it? Just like lying in the bathroom like 01:09:57.199 --> 01:09:59.739 a natural man. It's like he knew what he was 01:09:59.739 --> 01:10:11.779 doing. Fucking awesome. Thank you, Rob. A woman 01:10:11.779 --> 01:10:15.640 in Hopkinsville, Kentucky was expecting a package 01:10:15.640 --> 01:10:19.899 of medicine that she had offered. That order 01:10:19.899 --> 01:10:23.979 not offered. Okay. You know what? You know what? 01:10:24.020 --> 01:10:26.560 Everyone knows I can't read. So there. All right. 01:10:26.659 --> 01:10:30.579 So that she had ordered. But when the box came, 01:10:30.720 --> 01:10:33.319 she found something very different inside. Two 01:10:33.319 --> 01:10:38.199 human arms and four fingers. KSMV TV. Oh, shit. 01:10:38.199 --> 01:10:43.170 I know. KSMV -TV reported that the woman contacted 01:10:43.170 --> 01:10:47.189 911, and the Christian County Coroner, Scott 01:10:47.189 --> 01:10:50.789 Daniel, Daniel responded to the home and gathered 01:10:50.789 --> 01:10:53.630 up the unexpected parcel, and the body parts 01:10:53.630 --> 01:10:55.989 are being dispatched to the correct recipient, 01:10:56.250 --> 01:10:59.670 but it's unclear, in this case, who that recipient 01:10:59.670 --> 01:11:02.930 was. I would say some sort of a medical facility, 01:11:03.170 --> 01:11:07.149 but they didn't say. So that's all I got on that 01:11:07.149 --> 01:11:09.350 one. I thought that was an interesting story. 01:11:09.489 --> 01:11:11.430 There's really not much more to report on that 01:11:11.430 --> 01:11:16.090 except that. So, all right, Rob, you got something? 01:11:18.170 --> 01:11:21.250 Yeah, give me just one second, brother. All right, 01:11:21.270 --> 01:11:23.090 that's cool. Do you want me to go into another 01:11:23.090 --> 01:11:29.310 small story or keep going? Yeah, go into another 01:11:29.310 --> 01:11:32.380 small one. I just need a second. Okay. Hillary 01:11:32.380 --> 01:11:34.979 Martin of Orange County, Florida, has filed a 01:11:34.979 --> 01:11:37.420 lawsuit against SeaWorld Orlando following an 01:11:37.420 --> 01:11:40.199 incident that happened in March. Click Orlando 01:11:40.199 --> 01:11:43.979 reported, Martin is seeking $50 ,000 in damages 01:11:43.979 --> 01:11:48.659 after she was struck by a duck, Rob, riding a 01:11:48.659 --> 01:11:52.779 Mako roller coaster. She didn't even know ducks 01:11:52.779 --> 01:11:56.020 like roller coasters, she said. Martin said the 01:11:56.020 --> 01:11:58.100 duck flew into the coaster's path and struck 01:11:58.100 --> 01:12:00.199 her in the face, causing her to lose consciousness. 01:12:00.579 --> 01:12:03.520 She claims the park created a zone of danger 01:12:03.520 --> 01:12:06.859 by placing the ride near a body of water. No 01:12:06.859 --> 01:12:14.180 word on the duck's condition or injuries. I think 01:12:14.180 --> 01:12:19.399 that that is bullshit. It's a bullshit lawsuit. 01:12:19.760 --> 01:12:23.359 How can anyone fend against some sort of wildlife? 01:12:24.329 --> 01:12:26.850 you know being in the air at the time you're 01:12:26.850 --> 01:12:29.510 on a roller coaster you can't you know you can't 01:12:29.510 --> 01:12:31.689 predict that and you can't stop that so i don't 01:12:31.689 --> 01:12:35.210 think she's going to win unless they uh they 01:12:35.210 --> 01:12:38.029 buckle sea world buckles and says just give her 01:12:38.029 --> 01:12:41.229 the fucking 50 000 to get rid of her that's always 01:12:41.229 --> 01:12:44.310 possible but i think that is one of those litigious 01:12:44.310 --> 01:12:47.130 lawsuits that just needs to be thrown out actually 01:12:47.130 --> 01:12:58.649 but it probably won't So there, you see. All 01:12:58.649 --> 01:13:02.250 right. You got something, Rob? Yes, I did. All 01:13:02.250 --> 01:13:06.529 righty. We are waiting. Not to put pressure on 01:13:06.529 --> 01:13:09.810 you, but we're waiting. I've kept you waiting 01:13:09.810 --> 01:13:13.250 for a couple weeks. I'm sorry. It's okay. Dude, 01:13:13.430 --> 01:13:15.869 dude, it's okay. If you heard the solo cast, 01:13:16.010 --> 01:13:17.489 they even made a little fun of you about the 01:13:17.489 --> 01:13:21.470 Internet. Did you hear the solo cast? Actually, 01:13:21.470 --> 01:13:25.850 I have. Oh, okay. I'll have to listen to it. 01:13:25.949 --> 01:13:28.670 It wasn't anything much. I was just poking a 01:13:28.670 --> 01:13:30.930 little fun at you. But anyhow, no, it was okay. 01:13:31.029 --> 01:13:32.930 You got it all figured out, whatever. You know 01:13:32.930 --> 01:13:35.869 what? I did a solo cast, and Topher and I did 01:13:35.869 --> 01:13:53.300 a couple of shows, so it was fine. where he's 01:13:53.300 --> 01:13:57.560 incarcerated. She's followed the same procedures 01:13:57.560 --> 01:14:01.460 she did in previous visits, she said, and wore 01:14:01.460 --> 01:14:04.920 the same kind of leggings she usually wears to 01:14:04.920 --> 01:15:01.130 the prison. Oh, okay. She'd gone through the 01:15:01.130 --> 01:15:04.229 body scanners with the piercing before. It's 01:15:04.229 --> 01:15:07.050 unclear why officers only flagged her this time. 01:15:07.649 --> 01:15:10.630 They suspended her visiting privileges for six 01:15:10.630 --> 01:15:15.010 months. Her wedding would have to wait. Attorneys, 01:15:15.090 --> 01:15:17.909 advocates, and legislators say they have repeatedly 01:15:17.909 --> 01:15:22.130 heard stories like Gettler's since earlier this 01:15:22.130 --> 01:15:25.689 year when New York State Prison Agency started... 01:15:34.729 --> 01:15:38.649 And what? Sorry, I had a cough. Okay, I thought 01:15:38.649 --> 01:15:45.609 it cut out. No, no. The agency implemented the 01:15:45.609 --> 01:15:48.770 body scanning policy shortly after a two -week 01:15:48.770 --> 01:15:52.449 corrections officer strike in March. Advocates 01:15:52.449 --> 01:15:55.550 say they started hearing high numbers of complaints 01:15:55.550 --> 01:16:16.159 over the summer. The scanner Okay. I'm still 01:16:16.159 --> 01:16:18.680 getting over that crap, dude. Oh, okay. Gotcha. 01:16:18.979 --> 01:16:22.899 I'm still buying that, too. Wow. Okay. The scanner 01:16:22.899 --> 01:16:25.439 rollout was one of the striking officers' demands, 01:16:25.699 --> 01:16:29.479 and at reducing cavity searches and alleviating 01:16:29.479 --> 01:16:32.359 what they described as high numbers of visitors 01:16:32.359 --> 01:16:35.840 smuggling drugs and other contraband into the 01:16:35.840 --> 01:16:39.319 facilities. Officers themselves are a steady 01:16:39.319 --> 01:16:42.979 source of contraband, and most New York State... 01:17:03.079 --> 01:19:41.970 Okay. Okay. Uh -huh. Okay. Um... Okay. body scanners. 01:19:42.170 --> 01:19:46.170 Instead, it's in a statement detailing its visitation 01:19:46.170 --> 01:19:50.010 and male security policies. Car commands such 01:19:50.010 --> 01:19:52.970 as drugs and weapons contribute to violence in 01:19:52.970 --> 01:20:00.989 prisons, the statement said. Uh -huh. Okay. But 01:20:00.989 --> 01:20:06.189 if they can prove it's tampon or piercing, come 01:20:06.189 --> 01:20:19.079 on. I know. Yeah. I agree. Yeah. I agree with 01:20:19.079 --> 01:20:28.899 that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There's other things 01:20:28.899 --> 01:20:40.199 you can do. I agree. Yeah, I know. Well, I... 01:20:40.199 --> 01:20:49.979 Yeah. It's pretty simple. Okay. All right. Well, 01:20:50.060 --> 01:20:51.600 do you want to keep going or do you want to call 01:20:51.600 --> 01:21:02.960 this a show? All righty. Okay, yeah. I said that 01:21:02.960 --> 01:21:04.479 because your voice sounds like it's starting 01:21:04.479 --> 01:21:21.340 to get a little... Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Well, it 01:21:21.340 --> 01:21:22.960 sounds like you're getting better. That's the 01:21:22.960 --> 01:21:25.859 main thing. Yeah, I am. I am. Okay. All right. 01:21:26.159 --> 01:21:29.739 Everybody, thank you all for listening. I'm not 01:21:29.739 --> 01:21:32.800 saying any goodbyes anymore, like, you know, 01:21:32.800 --> 01:21:39.399 to anybody. Grandma Opal's going downhill. I'm 01:21:39.399 --> 01:21:40.920 just not even going to talk about it anymore. 01:21:41.039 --> 01:21:43.020 Jimmy doesn't want to talk about it, so we're 01:21:43.020 --> 01:21:48.449 respecting it and everything. Yeah, I told him 01:21:48.449 --> 01:21:51.989 that. So, anyhow, everybody, thank you for listening. 01:21:52.189 --> 01:21:55.850 Good night, assholes. Thank you, everybody. Good 01:21:55.850 --> 01:22:00.449 night, assholes. Oh, no. Looks like the show's 01:22:00.449 --> 01:22:04.050 over, kids. Mark has explosive diarrhea and can't 01:22:04.050 --> 01:22:07.489 afford a wireless mic. Fear not, assholes. They'll 01:22:07.489 --> 01:22:09.350 be back invading your ear holes soon.