Welcome again. We're happy you chose us. Come
on in. Wash yourself off. Would you enjoy a bourbon
and coke? There's a liquor store down the road.
If you go, I need rolling papers. Well, since
you're here, let's get this daily douchebag pledge
out of the way. All right, bitches, swing your
hips and pelvic thrust. Shout it out with me.
I, Joe or Jane Listener, promise to download
every podcast. I, Joe or Jane Listener, promise
to make... All friends, family members, and workmates
download the show. I, Joe or Jane Listener, promise
to grab idle computers, work computers, friends
computers, community computers, and other assorted
phones and listening devices and download the
show from there. I, Joe or Jane Listener, will
download the show and constantly barrage everyone
with show name and platforms. I, Joe or Jane
Listener, promise to wear a chicken costume and
scream the show's name from my front yard. And
finally, because of our 13 -year -old boy humor,
we must go to Knobloch Cooter Licking in Uranus,
Missouri to take selfies with the signs. If you
go to Uranus, go to the fudge factory. Yes, there's
a fudge factory in Uranus. No joke. Here at Two
Douchebags and a Microphone, we don't stand behind
our journalistic integrity. Go ahead and assume
we got the story wrong. At least we admit it.
Not like all those other guys. We can and will
lie if it makes the story better. Two douchebags
and a microphone. We are Kansas City. Hey, you
yankers. We often think many things are just
true because we've heard it our whole lives.
That's why here at Two Douchebags and a Microphone,
we developed the segment, Not True. We investigate
and uncover the real truth of what happened.
We've heard for years that Einstein was so intelligent
he could not figure out how to tie his shoe.
The fact is, he disliked wearing socks. He would
put socks over his shoes to avoid tying them.
He believed tying shoelaces was an incredible
waste of time. So were Crocs when Einstein needed
them. Hey fellas, remember to wipe away from
the twins! Stay fresh ideas from the douchebags.
Hi, all. This is Chicago. I am the most dangerous
city in North America. You can't touch me. Oh,
yeah? This is Kansas City here. Hold my beer,
bitch. This is Joshua Belmont, your food for
thought man on The Hustle. Today, we need to
focus on the genius Franklin Harris for inventing
the jukebox override. Some dumbass puts down
a hundred on the Melvins to last all night. No
worry, thanks to Mr. Harris. Just put in a buck
a song to override shitty music and you can be
the hero. Mr. Harris, not many stop to admire
your fine work, but we do here at Two Douchebags
and a Microphone. Thank you, Mr. Harris, for
being a patriotic, great human being. And now
we look in on the adventures of the technical
explanation guy. Excuse me, my dear sir. Could
you please put my plain bread in a small countertop
appliance with heating elements that would spring
loaded and would brown my bread adequately? Well,
first off, I'm not a waiter. I'm just a guy over
there sitting at the table having a drink. Second
off, are you talking about someone toasting your
bread? Well, yes. Yes, I am. I'm talking about
my bread being toasted. Then why don't you just
ask for your bread to be toasted, you dumb bastard?
The hell's wrong with you? Hey, look. I think
we found land. Oh, my God. I think we're safe.
Oh, no. It's an island of horrible jokes. Singing
in the shower is fun. Until you get soap in your
mouth. Then it's a soap opera. Hey everybody,
this is Mark, two douchebags in microphone from
the Talk is Cheap studio on a chilly, what is
it, Thursday? Yeah, chilly Thursday evening.
And Rob's having some internet problems, so I'm
going to go ahead and do somewhat of a solo cast
tonight. And I found a few stories to put together
just to throw them out there to give you guys
something to chew on. And if you don't chew on
it, then you know what? Then I guess you won't
even download it. Or as soon as you hear it's
a solo cast, you'll click it off. But we hope
not. All right. Well, the first story that I
have, Matthew Thornhill, a St. Charles County,
Missouri. circuit judge, has been suspended and
will be banned from holding judicial offices
in Missouri, Fox 2 Now TV reported on November
19th. Thornhill was found to have engaged in
several acts of misconduct, including discussing
politics from the bench, but his most notable
overstep was occasionally wearing a large plastic
Elvis wig and sunglasses while presiding over
the court. Thornhill said he was trying to add
levity and relax people. but he can now see his
actions affected the solemnity of the proceedings.
He admitted to the charges against him and waived
his right to an appeal, and with that, Elvis
has left the building. I didn't write that. I
probably shouldn't have even repeated it, but
there you go. So, that was interesting. Judges
can be a little out there, too. Next story is
on November 18th. Paige Batten got a call about
a home she had for sale in Chattanooga, Tennessee.
Local 3 TV reported. Potential buyers wondered
when Batten would be replacing the driveway at
the home, which Batten hadn't planned on replacing
it. Then she learned that the day before, at
least three trucks had been at the home, including
two backhoes and a dump truck. Neighbors assumed
that Batten had contracted for the driveway to
be removed, but... Neighbor April Renner said,
somebody unfortunately stole it somehow, which
is bizarre. Days later, Batten heard from a local
concrete company, which said it had been given
the address by a scammer posing a legit customer.
The company poured Batten a new driveway free
of charge. I wish someone would do that to me.
I wish someone would play a prank like that on
me. That'd be great. I'd come out and go, hey,
guys, I didn't order this, but thank you. I'll
be keeping it. Appreciate it. Have a great day.
And I would really like your feedback on these
solo casts. I'm kind of reluctant to doing it
because it's so much easier to do a show with
someone to bounce stuff off of and to chime in
and what have you in their own stories. You know,
Rob has his own brand of stories, kind of like
I do. We have our own thoughts and our own little
rhythms, I guess is what you would say, and our
own little... personal tastes of stories. So
I'd like to know how you feel about these. It'd
be nice to hear. So if you could break me off
an email, it's twodouchesatmail .com twodouchesatmail
.com Don't be afraid to break me off an email.
Hate mail goes to the front of the line, like
me and Topher has always said. You mad enough
to send something to me? If I piss you off that
bad? I want to read it. I want to hear what I
did to piss you off that bad. So, and we go to
the next story. Andre McKenzie, 54, is serving
a life sentence for murder in Port Phillip Prison
in Victoria, Australia. But just because he's
doing hard time doesn't mean McKenzie thinks
it's fair to do without the finer things. To
that end, The inmate is suing Victoria Department
of Justice and Community Safety, as well as Corrections
Victoria, the company that manages the prison,
to lift their ban on Vegemite. Yes, the thick,
brown, shiny, yeast -based paste. That is just
completely disgusting. And I don't know why anyone
would like to eat it. The convicted criminal
claims that This Vegemite sandwich helps him
to enjoy his culture as an Australian. Vegemite
was banned in Victoria prisons in 2006 after
officials determined that prisoners were using
its odor to hide drugs from narcotic detention
dogs. CNN reports that the case is scheduled
for trial in the Supreme Court of Victoria next
year. We'll see how that turns out. So, all kinds
of crazy shit going on. So, next one is, on November
11th, an unnamed 36 -year -old man entered a
bus in Hamilton, Ontario, while the driver is
taking a short break outside, Fox 5 TV reported.
Then the man drove off with all the passengers
still inside. He drove around making stops to
let people off and on, and even denied one person
trying to board without a bus pass. What a dick.
He stole it. You won't let someone on without
a bus pass you. I would say, come on, man. Hell,
I didn't pay anything for this shit. Come on
up, man. Come on, buddy. Here, want a beer? Why
not? Police followed the bus and eventually took
the rogue driver into custody, but praised his
skills. There's not a ding on the bus, said Trevor
McKenna of the Hamilton Police. He did a great
job. He was charged with theft over $5 ,000,
possession over $5 ,000, obstructing police,
and driving while prohibited. Well, good for
you. What the hell was your name again? It just
says a 36 -year -old Ontario man. So whatever
your name is, you did a good job driving. Proud
of you. Everything else? I don't know. Do you
have hobbies? You know, one of my hobbies is
what you hear here. Yeah. Yep, yep, this here
podcast is a hobby of mine. I would not call
it a profession, it's not like I make a dime,
but I would definitely call this a hobby. And
it probably shows. Martin Stroby, 42, of Hoensberg,
Sweden, has earned a Guinness World Record of
dubious achievement of stuffing matches in his
nostrils, United Press International reported
on November 18th. Um, yeah, yeah, that's his
hobby. So, I'm kind of happy I do this and not
I don't stick matches up my nostrils. To me,
that doesn't sound like a hobby. That sounds
like hell. But, I go on. The previous record
was 68 wood matches. Strobey is able to shove
81. 81 matches into his nose. How in the hell
do you get 81 matches in your nose? I discovered
I could both stretch my nostrils a lot and also
ignore the pain for putting all those matches
in there. So I'd say I'm a natural strobe, he
says. As a father, I want my children to look
up to me in the same way I look up to my father.
Really? You actually think that your children
are going to go, man, my dad is so cool. He puts
81 matches in his nostril. I mean, I'd be, if
that was my dad when I was younger, I would have
been embarrassed to say that. I'd be like, hey,
what does your dad do? I know he gardens. Yeah,
yeah, he gardens. Yeah, yeah. He do anything
else? No, that's it. Just gardens. Didn't I see
him with some, no, no, no, you didn't. That wasn't
him. That's somebody else. So, from odd hobbies
to seniors that can't get out very much anymore.
I love this. This is a great idea. Why not bring
the party to them? That's what one retirement
home in Couman, France, has done. Their auxiliary
home has opened a pub to the public after obtaining
a liquor license. RTL Today reported on November
19th. The bar opens before lunchtime, the residents
say, and they love it. It makes us see things
in a more positive light. I bet after a couple
of beers, everything's all, you know, fucking
all dandy, right? It's Colette Kearney, 96. Director
Robert Kohler said Gathering Spot aims to foster
integral exchanges and provide this sense of
community. Contacts are being made, and that's
the kind of thing we're looking for. That extra
touch of soul that we want to bring to our residents,
he said. Now, in the nearby town of Barr, a similar
project is underway. So there you go. They're
going to be doing more of these, and I wish they'd
come over here. I think that's a great... Actually,
you know what? No, there's a place down the road.
I forgot the name of it. They since went under
or sold or something, but Tuscany Village was
the name of it. Now, I think it's a part of Avila
College now, but Tuscany Village, they used to
have a pub in there, and they have walking trails
everywhere. It was a really neat place. That
place was doing it back then. I don't know, quite
a few years ago before they changed to Avala,
Auxiliary, or whatever they are. But I thought
that was a great idea back then. I definitely
think it's a great idea now. And I'm glad they're
doing it in France. I think it's great if they
did it everywhere. So we go from old to young.
United Press International reported on November
20th that a talking teddy bear called Kuma has
been pulled from retail shelves after an AI -powered
toy ventured into questionable topics. A group
of researchers from the U .S. and Canada held
conversations with Kuma and found it easy to
get the $99 bear to discuss sexually explicit
topics including spanking. Roleplay and BDSM.
The researcher said Kuma would take a particular
topic and run with it, simultaneously escalating
in graphic detail while introducing new sexual
concepts of its own. The bear also offered advice
about where to find sharp knives in the house.
Shit. CEO of Folotoy Larry Wang said his company
is conducting an internal safety audit. I would
say so. Jeez. One of the most overlooked post
-apocalypse need is first aid. Have several kits
and metal canisters. one in your bunker and the
rest buried near natural markers such as odd
trees or natural clearings gauze salve ointment
antibiotics sutures thread needles sharp knives
and scissors should be in all of the kits hey
my fellow heavy breathers this is dash riptide
your music news Walls of Jericho is a song by
Bon Jovi that features a guest appearance by
Def Leppard singer Joe Elliott. According to
this Instagram post, the track is from the forever
legendary edition of Bon Jovi's album, which
was released in October 2025. The song is named
Walls of Jericho. The song features Bon Jovi
and Joe Elliott from Def Leppard. Jon Bon Jovi
chose this song for Elliott to feature on because
it's stadium rock sound that is reminiscent of
both bands. It is her first ever collaboration.
This is Gash Riptine, and that was your music
news. If it's too loud, you probably have ear
damage, just like me. Hey there, fuckstick. You're
just in time for brand new feature news nobody
gives a shit about. In a remote area in France...
An armadillo was found alive, and no one knows
how it got there. And now, Deep Thoughts with
Mark. It seems to me that the whole object of
playing golf is to play the least amount of golf.
Have you ever wondered what something is or not?
Have you ever looked at something and said, hey,
I wonder what the origin of that is? Well, so
have we. That's why we give you the origin of.
The origin of the nose ring. The middle east
is the birthplace of the nostril ring, piercing,
tracking back 4 ,000 years. Nostrils were held
as a status of upper class if they were pierced
with a ring. Christopher. elaborate prank section,
right? Mm -hmm. Okay, well, I've got one for
you. I never told you about Babble Snatch, have
I? Uh, no. Okay, even if I did, just say I didn't
know. You know, there's nothing about Babble
Snatch. Yeah, I think I remember a name like
Babble Snatch. Okay. Well, Babble Snatch, this
is back in the 80s, probably mid -80s, best guess.
Could have been 87 at the latest, but anyhow.
Yeah, I used to go to the 7 -Eleven in Belvedere,
which isn't there now. It was knocked down and
then replaced. Way later by a quick trip. But
anyhow, I used to go in there all the time and,
you know, go in there and buy sodas and shit
and whatever, you know. Rolling papers for my
friends, not for me. And anyhow, you know, just
shit like that. anyhow there's this guy in there
he i don't know you know i think he hated long
hairs or something but hey i noticed he was nice
to everybody but me like i'd be like third in
line and anyhow you know the first guy hey mr
jones how you doing oh man yeah nice weather
hey how's the kid you know next person Hi, Loretta.
How you doing? Oh, man. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Everything's
going good, man. I got the old Taurus running
really good. Yeah, yeah. Come by, man. The old
Taurus. Yeah, you know. I come up there. 142.
So, how you doing? 142. Okay, here you go. And
I'm like, what the hell? How come this guy hates
me? And every time I go in there, nice as pie
to everybody but me, it's like, just like, yeah,
it'd be 249. So, uh, weather's pretty nice out
there. Thanks. Bye. Motherfucker. So he did this
so many times and he just never talked to me.
He wouldn't even like hardly look at me, you
know? So, and I never did nothing to this fucker
that I know of, you know, maybe someone said
something like this guy said, you know, that
you're a dick or maybe someone's screwing with
him. Like, Hey man, he thinks you've got a nice
ass. Whatever the fucking deal was, the guy was
just a complete tool bag to me constantly. So
I was like, all right, bitch. So I go home and
I think about it. I'm like, okay. So I start
calling up and I go, hey, you got any Babble
Snatch gum? What? Babble Snatch. Everybody, I
mean, I bought it from there a couple weeks ago.
Stuff is fucking awesome, man. I'll tell you
what, man, talk to your manager about it. Is
this like a breath -freshening gum? I don't,
you know. Maybe a bubble gum? I just came up
with it. And anyhow, the guy, he bit on it, you
know. He was like, oh, yeah, I'll check on it
for you. That's awesome. Hey, thanks, man. I
appreciate it. So anyhow, so I called back a
little bit later. Yeah, someone called earlier,
you know. And anyhow, I'm sure we have it here
somewhere. But, you know, I'll talk to my manager
about it tonight, and we'll see what we can do.
So anyhow. I have a couple other people call
it about babble snatch gum and, you know, and
they're like, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, we're,
we're working on getting it in. Okay. You know,
the regional manager, we called him and he said
that he was going to work on getting it in here.
And, and I go, well, you know, I bought it the
other day and it's just so good. And they believe
me. I go, man, this gum is just so great tasting.
And he's like, it's babble snatch, right? Yeah.
Babble snatch. That's the name of it. Okay. All
right. I would have loved to listen to another
conversation when he's asking the regional manager.
about Babble Snatch. Oh, yeah. So, you know,
anyhow. I called down there the next day, and
I go, hey, man, you know, you got that Babble
Snatch gum? You know, the guy's like, oh, hang
on, hang on. I think it's in. We just had a load.
Hang on. So, anyhow, so the guy's like, you know,
and this is the guy I hated, the Paul guy. So,
anyhow, he's like, yeah, hang on a second. So,
I hear him like, yeah, hey, I'm going to go to
the back there, and it's in one of the boxes.
They said it was coming in today. So, all right,
no big deal. So, I hear him go back there. I
hear some rustling, and a couple people come
in. Then he stops. He goes up there. Oh, yeah,
it'll be 1242. Okay, thank you. You have a good
day. And then he helps someone else. I hear him
go back again. I hear him wrestling through some
more boxes. Meanwhile, I'm laughing my ass off.
Anyhow, this guy, he like for like 20 minutes
is looking for babble snatch gum. So anyhow,
so like finally, like a half hour later, he comes
back. He goes, man, he goes, look, I know we're
going to have an end by the end of the day. I
talked to my manager. Okay. All right, man. All
right. I'll come in at night and I'll get some
gum and save some for me, man. Okay. My name's
Billy. I'll be in. Okay, okay, all right. I'll
save you some Babel Snatch gum. No problem. So
a couple hours later, I call up and I talk to
the manager. The manager's like, yeah, yeah,
I ordered some a couple days ago and it should
be in. If it's not in right now, it's going to
be in by the end of the day. I guarantee you.
So I don't know how the hell they ordered it
because there was no such thing as Babel Snatch
gum. I made the shut up and all of a sudden,
I mean, everybody wanted this fucking Babel Snatch
gum. And it never did exist. Matter of fact,
this prank. got so good to where i ended up this
is you know in the 80s before digital cameras
even let alone you know there are phone cameras
and all the you know photoshop and everything
no internet no we had to like cut stuff out of
wrappers and stuff and make a fake babble snatch
gum and take an old fashion fashion like Polaroid
type of picture. Oh, yeah. I forgot what it was.
It could have been one of those little box cameras
back then. Probably the only thing I could afford,
you know. Hey, we actually took a picture of
the Babble Snatch gum. And a guy went in there.
He goes, hey, man, I need this. The guy's like,
I know, I know, I know, man. We're working on
getting it in. It's hard to get, man. Everybody
wants this Babble Snatch gum. So, anyhow, I guess
the whole moral of the story is don't be a dick
to me because then I'll do something like that.
And even now, to this day, I'll have a couple
people on my friends list every now and then.
Like, send me a little message. He'll go, Babble
Snatch. I'm like, ah! I remember one time I was,
like, working up in fucking New York or something.
And all of a sudden, I get a ding. And, like,
I'm on top of this fucking skyscraper they were
putting in glass. And I look down, and it says,
Babble Snatch. And I'm like, fuck! I'm up there
dying in this glass, about ready to fall and
kill 100 people. They recover your body and they
look at your phone. Well, the last text you received
said Babble Snatch. We better look into this.
By some guy named Dirtbag. Yeah. So anyhow, that
is my elaborate prank section of this. Unless
we throw some more in there, but anyhow. Babble
Snatch. Never forget it. This name lives on.
Two douchebags and microphone in an effort to
keep everything fresh. We offer you first world
problems. Damn it. I can't decide between nachos,
chili, or wings for the game tonight. This is
bullshit. I should not have to make decisions
like this. The following is a parody. A parody
and nothing but a parody. So don't get your panties
in a wad. Well, hey there, fellas. This is Lil
Skippy Bayless, and I like to say that I am a
jealous little bitch, and I only mouth off about
my homes and the Chiefs is because I have to
latch on to something relevant as an attempt
to make me relevant. But it isn't working. Well,
I gotta go. I have a new Dak Prescott poster
I need to run one out to. See ya. Hi there. This
could be Dave Tobe from the Kansas City Chiefs.
If I am indeed Dave Tobe. Alright. Alright. Welcome
back, everybody. This is Two Douchebags and Microphone.
Rob is having some Internet issues. He'll be
back in tomorrow, next day, or whenever he gets
his Internet stuff figured out. All right. A
Waymo self -driving taxi drove a passenger through
the scene of a police standoff in downtown Los
Angeles last week, according to a viral video
posted online Monday. The Waymo taxi came across
a street blocked by police vehicles early Friday
morning before turning into an area that was
not blocked off where other vehicles were also
traveling, according to a Waymo spokesperson.
Officers were conducting a high -risk felony
arrest after a stolen vehicle pursuit at around
3 .40 a .m. when the Waymo drove through the
intersection of First Street and Broadway, according
to the Los Angeles Police Department. Waymo said
the vehicle was in the vicinity of the event
for no more than 15 seconds, but you know how
long it takes a shot to get off? Well, probably
about one second. So there's 14 seconds to spare.
Safety is our highest priority at Waymo, both
for people who choose to ride with us and with
whom to share the streets with. When we encounter
unusual events like this one, We learn from them
as we continue improving road safety and operating
in dynamic cities, a spokesperson for Waymo said
in a statement provided to ABC7. The incident
did not impact LAPD's tactics, police said. The
LAPD also said it has a 24 -7 hotline for coordinating
issues with Waymo. Waymo began operating as driverless
taxis in Los Angeles early last year and opened
its service to everyone in November of 2024.
So there you go. Take that for whatever you want.
I don't think I'll be doing any driving with
them. I wasn't good anyhow, but this definitely
didn't help. And on to the next one. On the morning
of November 3rd at a Publix grocery store in
Miami, a man using the restroom stall was assaulted
after Alfredo Brindis, 72, entered the restroom
frantically and began to bang on the stall door,
Local 10 TV reported. When the victim exited
the stall, Brindis yelled at him to hurry and
move, but Brindis was blocking his way. He said
Brindis presented a knife and waved it in front
of the victim and tried to cut him. The victim.
used his book bag to shield himself. Brindis
told police that he really needed to use the
restroom. He was charged with aggravated assault
with a deadly weapon and awaits trial. Now that
I have you all here, just me and you, I have
some things I'd like to go over here. And these
are fines for the 2025 season of the NFL. They're
still accumulating, but up to now, this is a
little rundown of the fines that we have so far.
And these are not all of them, of course. There's
too many to really go through. I mean, I could
go through them, but it'd take, I don't know,
a week. So, while total fines for the 2025 season
are still accumulating, drop tackle, and Brian
Branch of the Lions and known crybaby has the
most frequently fined player, accumulating several
fines for different infractions throughout the
season. The highest single fine was for Louvu,
who received a fine for a hip drop tackle, while
Branch had been fined multiple times for his
offenses like unnecessary roughness and unsportsmanlike
conduct. The largest single fine, Frankie Louvu,
for a hip drop tackle, most frequently fined
player Brian Branch, fined multiple times for
different violations, including unnecessary roughness
and unsportsmanlike conduct. Other notable finds,
the Chargers' Denzel Perryman for a helmet -to
-helmet hit, Steelers' Patrick Queen for a blow
to the head and neck of a quarterback, the Chiefs'
Travis Kelsey for an obscene gesture, and the
Vikings' Aaron Jones for the use of a helmet.
So now, I go to a little bit more of the NFL.
This is next week's games that have potential
playoff impacts. Thursday night starts off week
13 with Cowboys versus the Lions. I am picking
the Lions. I think they're finally going to right
their ship just a little bit. I just don't have
a lot of trust in Dak Prescott or Brian Schottenheimer
or the whole team itself. I think that they can
sack up and play good games here and here, but
I don't think they're consistent enough to do
it. I don't think they have a complete enough
team to do it. And I think the Lions' back is
against the wall. And they're rather embarrassed
right now. They should be playing much better,
kind of like the Chiefs. But they're not. So,
I'm going to go ahead and pick the Cowboys. And
I'm going to say that's going to be a 34. Or
the Lions, I mean. That's going to be a 34 -27
Lions. Next game would be the Colts versus the
Jaguars. I think the Colts are going to beat
the Jags, even though it is in Jacksonville.
I think the Colts are another team that have
been playing very well and kind of like, I don't
know, got a flat tire somewhere. I think they
changed that flat tire, and I think they're ready
to go now. I think the Colts are going to right
their ship against the Jags this weekend, and
I am going to say it's going to be a 34 -24 win.
A solid win against the Jags. And it's going
to be a little bit more lopsided than that. There's
going to be a garbage touchdown at the end or
something like that. So it's going to come within
10. So, all right. So I guess so far I have the
Cowboys and I have the Colts. I mean, not Cowboys.
I keep saying the Cowboys. I have the Lions and
the Colts. Next one would be Steelers at the
Ravens. I think the Steelers have had their ass
kicked a few times here lately, and I'm getting
tired of them tasting blood. I think that they're,
especially Aaron Rodgers, phew, Bosa knocked
the shit out of him. So, Sunday, December 7th,
high noon, Steelers versus Ravens. I think the
Steelers are going to right their ship against
the Ravens. I think the Ravens have a flushable
season, even though they're in first place with
a 6 -6 record. They have a flushable season,
and I think the Steelers are going to just be
slightly better. I'm going to get that a 24 -20
win over the Steelers, or over the Ravens. I
am saying everything wrong today. All right.
Bears versus the Packers. I think the Bears have
been playing very, very well, but they're going
to be up there in Lambeau. And the Packers, I
think, are just kind of, I don't know, they got
this kind of a look about them where they could
maybe go to the Super Bowl this year. Jordan
Love is playing great. Micah Parsons is playing
off the hook like always. They are really, really
looking really good, but so are the Bears. But
I just think I like the Packers' defense much
better. And I also like Jordan Love much better
than Caleb Williams. And I also like the receiving
core. The Bears have a hell of a running game.
They have a pretty good defense. But I just think
the Packers are going to win this. I think the
Packers are going to win this probably 21 -13
is what I'm giving it. So, Packers over the Bears.
Texans versus the Chiefs. I hate doing this.
I really, really, really hate doing this. But
the Chiefs look horrible. I mean, they look,
they play, statistically, they play fantastic
games. It's so hard to figure out. It's lack
of execution in crucial times is what it is.
They just can't seem to get it together. The
Texans are playing off the hook. Their defense
is insane. They get in and they smash the quarterback
really good. They rough him up. They throttle
him. And our offensive line is down three starters.
I think the Texans defense is going to have a
feast on that offensive line that we barely have
right now protecting Mahomes. I think Mahomes
is going to be running for his life, and he's
going to be throwing early and probably a couple
of interceptions. I hate to say that, but what
do you do when you keep landing on your ass constantly
and you don't even see him coming? I mean, you
know, you have to get rid of the ball. And that's
what Mahomes is trying to do. So I'm saying the
Texans, and I'm going to say the Texans are going
to beat us probably 27 to 20. And finally, Eagles
versus, this was the Sunday night game, 725 p
.m. at Arrowhead Stadium, December 7th. And this
would be December 8th, Monday night at 715. It's
the Eagles versus the Chargers. The Chargers
haven't been playing really solid or well. They
have a lot of people out. I think the Eagles
lost a couple in a row, and I think that they
are just going to bring it. I think they're tired
of losing. I think they're starting to work around
and figure some things out. This is traditionally
when the Eagles start to catch a little bit more
fire as you get into December, and they start
kind of like last year. They were really kind
of waffling in November and then December come
and they got it all together. And I think that's
what's going to happen this year too. So I'm
going to go ahead and I'm going to pick the Eagles
over the Chargers. And I'm going to do that with
probably a 32 -28 victory for the Eagles. So
while we're talking NFL, I'm going to go into
sign or pass. There are several Kansas City Chiefs
players that have contracts up at the end of
the year, including tight end Travis Kelsey,
defensive end Charles Amenehu, and cornerback
Kristen Fulton. Other players like Jalen Moore
and Drew Tranquil also have contracts that are
set to expire or have a team option at the end
of the year. Key players with expiring contracts,
Travis Kelsey, the tight end's contract is up
at the end of the year. I'm kind of under the
assumption that he's going to retire. But he's
having a solid year. I mean, his skills, yeah,
have diminished slightly. But, I mean, he's still
making crucial catches. I mean, he had a tough
time at the first of the year dropping balls.
He had a case of the drop sees or running the
wrong route. He seems to have corrected that
pretty well, and he's starting to look like the
Travis Kelsey of old, hitting one in the middle
and then breaking for a large gain. He's been
doing that quite a bit this year. I believe he
has around, I don't know, 750 yards or somewhere
around there. I'll have to take a look, but I
believe it's in the sevens. That's not too bad,
especially for a 35 -year -old tight end. And
as of right now, he leads the receiving cores
of the Chiefs, which is an indictment on the
Chiefs right now. You know, Hollywood Brown should
have twice as much as his, how much younger he
is and how much faster he is. It's just, it's
really, it's mind -boggling that all this so
-called talent is not getting open. I don't get
it. We'll get to that later. Charles Amenehu,
the defensive end's contract expires after the
current season. Christian Fulton, the cornerback's
two -year deal, is up at the end of the year.
And Jalen Moore, the offensive tackle, is set
to be a free agent after the season. Jalen Moore,
you're going to have to sign him to... A good
contract. I mean, it can't be too expensive.
You need him in there for times like right now
when you have three people out. I mean, gosh,
I mean, Josh Simmons is out indefinitely because
of his shattered wrist and dislocation. And then
you have Trey Smith out. And you have Jawan Taylor.
So, yeah, yeah, Jawan Taylor. I'm not even going
to get in that right now. Harrison Butker, the
kicker's contract, is set to expire after the
2028 season. Noah Gray, the tight end's three
-year deal, concludes after the 2027 season.
Mike Caliendo's contract expires after the 2025
season. See ya. Let's see, who else here? I think
you try to retain Drew Tranquil. Christian Fulton,
if you can. And like I said, Amenahu, no, let
him go. He looks like he is done with. He's spent.
I don't think he can do it anymore. He looks
slow. He looks lethargic. You can't pay anything
for him. And besides that, get somebody younger
in there. And this just in. Kansas City start
to December is the coldest since 2006 and the
snowiest since 1964. So there you guys go. And
there you thought the weather sucked. All right,
bitches, I could go on, but I'm not. You know
what? I've done enough today. I feel good about
this. And Rob will be back here soon, hopefully,
if he can ever get his Internet figured out.
So I have full trust in him that by the year
2070, he'll have his Internet figured out. God
bless him. Hey, Al, thank you for joining me
tonight. Everybody, have a great night.