WEBVTT 00:00:30.359 --> 00:00:33.700 Welcome again. We're happy you chose us. Come 00:00:33.700 --> 00:00:37.570 on in. Wash yourself off. Would you enjoy a bourbon 00:00:37.570 --> 00:00:40.289 and coke? There's a liquor store down the road. 00:00:40.409 --> 00:00:44.049 If you go, I need rolling papers. Well, since 00:00:44.049 --> 00:00:46.750 you're here, let's get this daily douchebag pledge 00:00:46.750 --> 00:00:50.109 out of the way. All right, bitches, swing your 00:00:50.109 --> 00:00:52.890 hips and pelvic thrust. Shout it out with me. 00:00:53.090 --> 00:00:55.710 I, Joe or Jane Listener, promise to download 00:00:55.710 --> 00:01:00.049 every podcast. I, Joe or Jane Listener, promise 00:01:00.049 --> 00:01:03.130 to make... All friends, family members, and workmates 00:01:03.130 --> 00:01:06.730 download the show. I, Joe or Jane Listener, promise 00:01:06.730 --> 00:01:09.730 to grab idle computers, work computers, friends 00:01:09.730 --> 00:01:12.790 computers, community computers, and other assorted 00:01:12.790 --> 00:01:14.969 phones and listening devices and download the 00:01:14.969 --> 00:01:18.709 show from there. I, Joe or Jane Listener, will 00:01:18.709 --> 00:01:21.370 download the show and constantly barrage everyone 00:01:21.370 --> 00:01:24.890 with show name and platforms. I, Joe or Jane 00:01:24.890 --> 00:01:27.530 Listener, promise to wear a chicken costume and 00:01:27.530 --> 00:01:30.540 scream the show's name from my front yard. And 00:01:30.540 --> 00:01:32.859 finally, because of our 13 -year -old boy humor, 00:01:33.040 --> 00:01:36.579 you must go to Knobloch Cooter Licking in Uranus, 00:01:36.599 --> 00:01:39.640 Missouri to take selfies with the signs. If you 00:01:39.640 --> 00:01:43.799 go to Uranus, go to the fudge factory. Yes, there's 00:01:43.799 --> 00:01:49.280 a fudge factory in Uranus. No joke. Here at Two 00:01:49.280 --> 00:01:51.840 Douchebags and a Microphone, we don't stand behind 00:01:51.840 --> 00:01:54.920 our journalistic integrity. Go ahead and assume 00:01:54.920 --> 00:01:58.239 we got the story wrong. At least we admit it. 00:01:58.719 --> 00:02:01.599 Not like all those other guys. We can and will 00:02:01.599 --> 00:02:17.139 lie if it makes the story better. And now we 00:02:17.139 --> 00:02:19.960 look in on the adventures of the technical explanation 00:02:19.960 --> 00:02:23.909 guy. Excuse me, my dear sir. Could you please 00:02:23.909 --> 00:02:26.729 put my plain bread in a small countertop appliance 00:02:26.729 --> 00:02:29.090 with heating elements that would spring -loaded 00:02:29.090 --> 00:02:32.030 and would brown my bread adequately? Well, first 00:02:32.030 --> 00:02:34.830 off, I'm not a waiter. I'm just a guy over there 00:02:34.830 --> 00:02:37.889 sitting at the table having a drink. Second off, 00:02:37.949 --> 00:02:39.870 are you talking about someone toasting your bread? 00:02:40.289 --> 00:02:42.909 Why, yes. Yes, I am. I'm talking about my bread 00:02:42.909 --> 00:02:45.069 being toasted. Then why don't you just ask for 00:02:45.069 --> 00:02:47.650 your bread to be toasted, you dumb bastard? What 00:02:47.650 --> 00:02:49.969 the hell's wrong with you? Miss Gulkenstein was 00:02:49.969 --> 00:02:51.849 tired of Mark and Toe for making sport of her. 00:02:52.330 --> 00:02:54.689 Little did the douchebag know Ms. Gilfenstein 00:02:54.689 --> 00:02:57.370 was a voodoo high priestess when she was younger. 00:02:57.849 --> 00:03:01.770 She grew angry and cast a spell on Rob, changing 00:03:01.770 --> 00:03:06.469 Rob into a capuchin monkey. Mark took Rob to 00:03:06.469 --> 00:03:08.469 a local zoo so he could be with the other monkeys. 00:03:08.789 --> 00:03:12.629 Here are the adventures of Rob, the capuchin 00:03:12.629 --> 00:03:17.939 monkey. Shh, be very quiet. We're going to listen 00:03:17.939 --> 00:03:20.699 in as Rob the Capuchin Monkey tries to sell the 00:03:20.699 --> 00:03:23.539 rest of the Capuchin Monkey's Amway. Rob has 00:03:23.539 --> 00:03:26.000 always dreamed of becoming a Diamond Status Amway 00:03:26.000 --> 00:03:50.199 as a Capuchin Monkey. Little did our hero Rob 00:03:50.199 --> 00:03:53.639 know. All the great apes owned stock in Sam's 00:03:53.639 --> 00:03:55.780 Club and became violently pissed off when he 00:03:55.780 --> 00:03:58.520 tried to infringe on their territory. They promptly 00:03:58.520 --> 00:04:00.719 grabbed switches and beat his ass for three days 00:04:00.719 --> 00:04:04.639 straight. Rob could not sit down. Your mama's 00:04:04.639 --> 00:04:07.919 so old. When she was in school, there was no 00:04:07.919 --> 00:04:10.800 history class. Hey, my fellow heavy breathers. 00:04:10.800 --> 00:04:18.790 This is Dash Riptide with your music news. For 00:04:18.790 --> 00:04:21.110 a nerd to take center stage on Stranger Things 00:04:21.110 --> 00:04:24.129 float at Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. I remember 00:04:24.129 --> 00:04:26.370 the infamous Kiss float years ago where the large 00:04:26.370 --> 00:04:29.050 Gibson guitar on their float was replaced with 00:04:29.050 --> 00:04:31.670 a much smaller ugly one. Paul was seen mincing 00:04:31.670 --> 00:04:33.769 and bitching. So in other words, he was being 00:04:33.769 --> 00:04:38.750 normal. George Thorogood has announced a world 00:04:38.750 --> 00:04:45.209 tour. Minus the rest of the world. It kicks off 00:04:45.209 --> 00:04:47.769 March 8th, Thousand Oaks, California. March 10th, 00:04:47.769 --> 00:04:50.490 Napa, California. March 17th, Kamloops, California. 00:04:50.730 --> 00:04:53.750 March 19th, Parkland, California. It ends in 00:04:53.750 --> 00:04:56.949 Fort Wayne on March 31st with a Hamilton, Canada 00:04:56.949 --> 00:04:59.310 three days later. And that appears to be all 00:04:59.310 --> 00:05:04.110 the tour as of date. He is 150, so he probably 00:05:04.110 --> 00:05:06.769 is not going to tour more than that. This is 00:05:06.769 --> 00:05:10.449 Gash Ruktein, and that was your music news. If 00:05:10.449 --> 00:05:12.629 it's too loud, you probably have ear damage, 00:05:12.750 --> 00:05:49.800 just like me. Two douchebags and microphone. 00:05:49.980 --> 00:05:53.319 I'm Mark here in the Kansas City area at the 00:05:53.319 --> 00:06:03.199 Talk is Cheap studio. And I am Rob from Wheatland, 00:06:03.339 --> 00:06:09.180 Missouri, home of the magnificent Lucas Oil Speedway. 00:06:09.920 --> 00:06:13.480 Yes, it is official. I live in Wheatland, Missouri 00:06:13.480 --> 00:06:17.120 now. Now, but you're not in the Duck Blind studio. 00:06:17.800 --> 00:06:58.699 Yet. Okay, we appreciate that, Rob. That is dedication 00:06:58.699 --> 00:07:03.740 there, and we appreciate it. All right, well, 00:07:03.860 --> 00:07:08.160 I'll get right into it. Viagra appears to help 00:07:08.160 --> 00:07:12.639 with deafness in older men, a study just revealed. 00:07:14.160 --> 00:07:16.800 And, I mean, it's a great thing because we all 00:07:16.800 --> 00:07:19.379 need 80 -year -old men with boners that can hear, 00:07:19.540 --> 00:07:23.939 right? Yeah, yeah. It's a better world when that 00:07:23.939 --> 00:07:28.639 happens, isn't it, Rob? Yes, it is. Yes. Okay. 00:07:29.079 --> 00:07:32.620 Well, a man in Florida was arrested Halloween 00:07:32.620 --> 00:07:38.220 night. He was dressed as a prison inmate. He 00:07:38.220 --> 00:07:42.019 got a DUI. I wonder if they let him keep his 00:07:42.019 --> 00:07:43.800 orange jumpsuit and just said, you know what? 00:07:43.839 --> 00:07:45.279 No one's going to know the difference. Just wear 00:07:45.279 --> 00:07:51.220 that. You talk about speaking something into 00:07:51.220 --> 00:07:56.040 existence, right? Yeah, definitely. Yeah, definitely. 00:07:56.100 --> 00:07:59.759 So, anyhow, only in Florida, you know. Actually, 00:08:00.079 --> 00:08:01.939 that happened around here. It happens everywhere. 00:08:02.139 --> 00:08:07.759 Okay. There was a record pumpkin grown. It was 00:08:07.759 --> 00:08:11.120 the size of a tennis court, Rob. But that wasn't 00:08:11.120 --> 00:08:12.600 the coolest thing. You know what the coolest 00:08:12.600 --> 00:08:16.120 thing was? Yeah, the size of a tennis court. 00:08:16.220 --> 00:08:19.250 You can look this up online. Okay. The coolest 00:08:19.250 --> 00:08:23.629 thing is it was an Ozzy Osbourne pumpkin. It 00:08:23.629 --> 00:08:26.269 had a large painting on it of the Prince of Darkness, 00:08:26.410 --> 00:08:30.629 Rob. That is awesome. It is. Look it up. It's 00:08:30.629 --> 00:08:33.070 very cool. I just like sitting there going, wow, 00:08:33.169 --> 00:08:39.009 that is dedication and love. And they did another 00:08:39.009 --> 00:08:42.549 poll. ER doctors say the top fives Thanksgiving 00:08:42.549 --> 00:08:48.830 injuries and illnesses are this right here. Number 00:08:48.830 --> 00:08:52.490 one are cuts and lacerations, which you could 00:08:52.490 --> 00:08:55.210 see, right? You know, cutting whatever up, cutting 00:08:55.210 --> 00:08:59.269 pie, whatever. All right. Number two was burns. 00:09:01.029 --> 00:09:05.889 Number three, orthopedic injuries. Elderly, usually 00:09:05.889 --> 00:09:10.789 not used to different steps. Head injuries are 00:09:10.789 --> 00:09:13.730 the next. They're usually in dimly lit hallways 00:09:13.730 --> 00:09:16.590 while people are, you know, walking into a hallway 00:09:16.590 --> 00:09:19.990 and it's dim. I've done all of this before, you 00:09:19.990 --> 00:09:24.610 know, at Thanksgiving functions. And then, finally, 00:09:24.909 --> 00:09:28.889 stomach woes. Like stuffing has too much sage, 00:09:29.210 --> 00:09:31.629 too much pepper in the gravy or something and 00:09:31.629 --> 00:09:34.169 whatever it was, you know. Oh, yeah. Yeah, so 00:09:34.169 --> 00:09:36.429 like I said, I've done all of these. Have you? 00:09:37.830 --> 00:09:40.590 Yes, I have. Yeah, so I think all those are very 00:09:40.590 --> 00:09:43.830 believable. I think pretty much everybody has. 00:09:44.250 --> 00:09:49.070 Yeah, I thought that was pretty true, that one 00:09:49.070 --> 00:09:51.470 right there. Because a lot of times the polls 00:09:51.470 --> 00:09:54.710 don't really reflect common stuff. I think that 00:09:54.710 --> 00:09:58.750 was pretty close. Well, if you take about after 00:09:58.750 --> 00:10:03.690 we have a big deal like that, a big family, we 00:10:03.690 --> 00:10:07.549 all kind of go out for a walk. You know what 00:10:07.549 --> 00:10:20.080 I mean? Yeah. Yeah. Fall down in a ditch or something. 00:10:20.279 --> 00:10:27.669 Yeah, you're right. So. That does happen, you 00:10:27.669 --> 00:10:30.429 know. Every now and then the gravy doesn't agree 00:10:30.429 --> 00:10:33.450 with you, you know, and that does happen. That 00:10:33.450 --> 00:10:36.110 does happen. But, you know, if you feel that 00:10:36.110 --> 00:10:38.809 gurgling going on and it's too intense, you go 00:10:38.809 --> 00:10:40.990 and excuse yourself. You know, you go, oh, I'm 00:10:40.990 --> 00:10:44.210 sorry. I forgot. I left the stove on at home. 00:10:44.269 --> 00:10:46.629 I got to get home. Then if you shit your pants 00:10:46.629 --> 00:10:48.269 on the way home, no big deal. At least you didn't 00:10:48.269 --> 00:10:51.450 do it in front of family, right? Right. Yeah. 00:10:51.669 --> 00:10:55.659 So, all right. The other day. I saw a friend 00:10:55.659 --> 00:10:59.320 at CVS buying a $40 colon cleanse. I saved him 00:10:59.320 --> 00:11:02.399 a lot of money. I told him about the $4 .99 meal 00:11:02.399 --> 00:11:06.639 at Taco Bell. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. He was very 00:11:06.639 --> 00:11:09.679 happy. He's like, man, this stuff tastes better 00:11:09.679 --> 00:11:11.820 than colon cleanse, and it works better, too. 00:11:12.200 --> 00:11:16.840 I'm like, there you go. And I want to get your 00:11:16.840 --> 00:11:19.840 opinion on this, Rob. Hey, that's what you call 00:11:19.840 --> 00:11:24.080 natural medicine. It is. It is. And it's pretty 00:11:24.080 --> 00:11:26.259 good, too. I mean, if it's done right, Taco Bell 00:11:26.259 --> 00:11:31.019 is still not too bad. It's just, yeah, Taco Bells 00:11:31.019 --> 00:11:33.759 are kind of like church's chickens. If you find 00:11:33.759 --> 00:11:35.700 a good one, it's really good. If you find a bad 00:11:35.700 --> 00:11:38.019 one, it's unedible. And it's that kind of thing. 00:11:38.139 --> 00:11:42.860 So, in my opinion. I want to start an online 00:11:42.860 --> 00:11:44.740 petition, Rob, and I want to see what you think 00:11:44.740 --> 00:11:48.440 of this. It's demand to have Patrick Mahomes 00:11:48.440 --> 00:11:53.840 grow his mohawk back. I think he's like Goliath. 00:11:53.860 --> 00:11:56.600 The hair gets cut, he loses his superpowers. 00:11:56.879 --> 00:12:00.259 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, he needs that. He needs 00:12:00.259 --> 00:12:07.700 that. Okay, we made a run today, but it's busy 00:12:07.700 --> 00:12:10.960 today. But I kind of kept up the game a little 00:12:10.960 --> 00:12:15.779 bit today. Yeah, something needs to happen. I 00:12:15.779 --> 00:12:20.690 don't know how many times. you can get near the 00:12:20.690 --> 00:12:24.470 end zone and not do a fucking thing. How many 00:12:24.470 --> 00:12:26.669 times can you get right next to the end zone 00:12:26.669 --> 00:12:31.529 and not do a damn thing? It is ridiculous the 00:12:31.529 --> 00:12:34.750 amount of times. The first one was, you know, 00:12:34.750 --> 00:12:37.690 Mahomes wasn't near the end zone, but that interception 00:12:37.690 --> 00:12:41.990 was horrible. Again, I mean, he did come back 00:12:41.990 --> 00:12:43.669 and make some plays to win the game, but that 00:12:43.669 --> 00:12:47.269 right there was horrible. That is an inexcusable 00:12:47.269 --> 00:12:56.240 interception. But this game, we outgained them. 00:12:56.240 --> 00:12:59.159 We just outplayed them in every facet. But we 00:12:59.159 --> 00:13:03.059 could not get any clarity on a win until overtime. 00:13:03.559 --> 00:13:08.139 Yeah. I mean, 23 -20. We should have scored well 00:13:08.139 --> 00:13:13.159 over 30. I mean, Kareem Hunt had the fumble. 00:13:13.659 --> 00:13:16.159 Mahomes had the interception. So, I mean, if 00:13:16.159 --> 00:13:17.980 you look at it like that, we're probably lucky 00:13:17.980 --> 00:13:21.320 we got a win, or maybe not lucky, but maybe, 00:13:21.519 --> 00:13:25.940 you know, it took a lot of grit and guts to go 00:13:25.940 --> 00:13:27.980 ahead and get the win out of that big fuck -up. 00:13:28.759 --> 00:13:31.659 So, we'll see. I mean, are the Chiefs starting 00:13:31.659 --> 00:13:37.490 to wake up? My personal feeling is no. No, that 00:13:37.490 --> 00:13:39.730 game didn't look very much better than any other 00:13:39.730 --> 00:13:42.090 game we played this year. We just happened to 00:13:42.090 --> 00:13:45.350 come out on top on one of them. They need to 00:13:45.350 --> 00:13:46.769 get their head out of their ass if they're going 00:13:46.769 --> 00:13:48.669 to go anywhere this year, but I'm kind of like 00:13:48.669 --> 00:13:51.570 this. If we don't make it, I can't get mad at 00:13:51.570 --> 00:13:54.850 them. The body of work has just been insane. 00:13:55.990 --> 00:14:04.559 Yeah, I'm not running away. You hate the way 00:14:04.559 --> 00:14:06.720 they play, but you love them as a team, and I've 00:14:06.720 --> 00:14:08.519 been hating the way they played, including today. 00:14:08.960 --> 00:14:13.639 I mean, I know they gutted out a win. They, I 00:14:13.639 --> 00:14:16.340 don't know. Their heads are just up their asses 00:14:16.340 --> 00:14:20.440 is all it is. Yeah, they've got, I mean, it might 00:14:20.440 --> 00:14:24.159 be better, in my opinion, and I know people are 00:14:24.159 --> 00:14:25.940 like going, no, no, no, you need to go to the 00:14:25.940 --> 00:14:28.500 playoffs every chance you get because you may 00:14:28.500 --> 00:14:32.740 not get there again. I think on a team that has 00:14:32.740 --> 00:14:35.919 Mahomes and supposedly all these playmakers, 00:14:36.059 --> 00:14:38.740 right, I think that the whole thing is right 00:14:38.740 --> 00:14:42.820 there. Maybe if they sat at home in January instead 00:14:42.820 --> 00:14:46.980 of going into February, maybe. Maybe they can 00:14:46.980 --> 00:14:48.860 think about it. Maybe they can come up with some 00:14:48.860 --> 00:14:54.100 answers. I mean, right now. Yeah, yeah, you know. 00:14:54.179 --> 00:14:57.299 And maybe they need that initial shock, like 00:14:57.299 --> 00:14:59.820 you're not going to the dance, guys. Yeah, we 00:14:59.820 --> 00:15:01.919 know, we know. You're at every Super Bowl for 00:15:01.919 --> 00:15:04.259 the last three years. We know this. We know this. 00:15:04.440 --> 00:15:07.419 And five out of six years, we know your team 00:15:07.419 --> 00:15:09.320 was in the Super Bowl. Yes, we know all this. 00:15:09.500 --> 00:15:11.919 But this year, you're not even going to the dance. 00:15:12.220 --> 00:15:15.980 That might be a wake -up call. Or maybe not. 00:15:16.379 --> 00:15:19.659 But all I know is this song and dance you're 00:15:19.659 --> 00:15:21.259 doing right now is getting pretty fucking old. 00:15:22.860 --> 00:15:25.419 Yeah, it's going to cost them five grand a pop 00:15:25.419 --> 00:15:29.700 just to be at the dance. Yes. And that's in the 00:15:29.700 --> 00:15:34.019 nosebleed section. I would never pay for the 00:15:34.019 --> 00:15:37.539 dance. Even if I was filthy fucking rich, I wouldn't. 00:15:37.539 --> 00:15:40.740 It's a rip -off to me. Complete rip -off. Let 00:15:40.740 --> 00:15:43.500 people that have more money than brains fucking 00:15:43.500 --> 00:15:48.480 do that. All right. Wisconsin man threw a beer 00:15:48.480 --> 00:15:50.480 bottle at a bartender because she turned off 00:15:50.480 --> 00:15:55.370 Black Sabbath in favor of Christmas music. Randall 00:15:55.370 --> 00:15:58.149 Kershaw is a bonafide hero. He alertly identified 00:15:58.149 --> 00:16:01.169 the issue with the music and took action to discourage 00:16:01.169 --> 00:16:04.970 that type of behavior. Agreed? Yes. I agree. 00:16:05.269 --> 00:16:08.049 Randall Kershaw, thank you. And if you ever see 00:16:08.049 --> 00:16:10.110 that happening again, immediately, immediately 00:16:10.110 --> 00:16:13.909 hit them with a club. We're not even Thanksgiving 00:16:13.909 --> 00:16:18.429 yet. Yes. Yes. It's got to be Thanksgiving before 00:16:18.429 --> 00:16:21.129 they even think about squeezing out some Christmas 00:16:21.129 --> 00:16:26.379 music. Sorry, not sorry. Exactly. That's why 00:16:26.379 --> 00:16:30.500 I do a lot of the light shows, you know. It started 00:16:30.500 --> 00:16:34.940 Thanksgiving night. Yeah. Like the Plaza, Thanksgiving 00:16:34.940 --> 00:16:39.059 night. Yeah, yeah. Then you can start playing 00:16:39.059 --> 00:16:42.259 your Christmas music. Right now, no. Not the 00:16:42.259 --> 00:16:45.080 week before. Right now is that weird time between 00:16:45.080 --> 00:16:48.700 Halloween and Thanksgiving. It's not Christmas 00:16:48.700 --> 00:16:51.779 time officially yet. So just calm down there. 00:16:52.600 --> 00:16:59.139 Yeah, because actually, That's right. In your 00:16:59.139 --> 00:17:03.480 loincloth, right? No, not allowed. Oh, damn it. 00:17:03.759 --> 00:17:07.799 The VFW denied it. Yes, we're getting married 00:17:07.799 --> 00:17:12.019 in a VFW that my family is known for. Okay. Were 00:17:12.019 --> 00:17:15.119 you going to dress up like the Village People 00:17:15.119 --> 00:17:18.180 Native American guy in the loincloth and all 00:17:18.180 --> 00:17:19.940 the face paint and all that, but they said no? 00:17:20.279 --> 00:17:21.819 That's what you were going to do, wasn't it? 00:17:22.039 --> 00:17:25.519 Well, no. It wasn't them that said no. It was 00:17:25.519 --> 00:17:30.460 the princess. Oh. She has her own dreams for 00:17:30.460 --> 00:17:36.960 this wedding. And I'll tell you all about it 00:17:36.960 --> 00:17:50.509 later. Off there, off there. has been under fire 00:17:50.509 --> 00:17:52.589 for the penalties and botched kicks from the 00:17:52.589 --> 00:17:55.049 Chiefs. He recently went off about the president 00:17:55.049 --> 00:17:57.670 not caring for the new kickoff rules, like most 00:17:57.670 --> 00:18:01.950 NFL fans. Mr. Tobe, no one wants your opinion 00:18:01.950 --> 00:18:04.430 on anything political. Could you please shut 00:18:04.430 --> 00:18:06.970 up and actually coach these players before you 00:18:06.970 --> 00:18:10.450 ruin them? Please and thank you. You're the best. 00:18:11.230 --> 00:18:15.109 Fucking idiot. Or better yet. Actually, I've 00:18:15.109 --> 00:18:22.029 got a better idea. Yeah. There you go. Do your 00:18:22.029 --> 00:18:33.970 job, Mr. Tobe, and shut up. Yeah, good point. 00:18:34.569 --> 00:18:40.349 Well, Dave Tobe is... Pretty much an idiot, in 00:18:40.349 --> 00:18:43.789 my opinion. It's not about Trump. This isn't 00:18:43.789 --> 00:18:46.009 a pro -Trump thing, an anti -Trump thing, or 00:18:46.009 --> 00:18:49.150 nothing at all. It's about trying. What he is 00:18:49.150 --> 00:18:52.769 doing is classic heat reversal. And this happens 00:18:52.769 --> 00:18:55.630 all the time. Everyone's looking at him going, 00:18:55.750 --> 00:18:57.369 what happened to your players? How come they're 00:18:57.369 --> 00:18:59.109 making all these penalties and losing us these 00:18:59.109 --> 00:19:03.910 games? And then he's like, well, Trump said that 00:19:03.910 --> 00:19:07.619 he didn't like the kickoff rules. It's like, 00:19:07.640 --> 00:19:10.839 shut up. That has nothing to do with a damn thing. 00:19:11.000 --> 00:19:13.039 What this has to do with you doing your fucking 00:19:13.039 --> 00:19:15.440 job. If you can't do your fucking job, then step 00:19:15.440 --> 00:19:19.500 down, Mr. Tobe, and shut up. Yeah, the problem, 00:19:19.599 --> 00:19:23.380 honestly, in my mind, the problem with the Chiefs 00:19:23.380 --> 00:19:26.599 this year, they're too distracted off the field. 00:19:26.900 --> 00:19:29.940 It sure looks like it. It sure looks like it. 00:19:41.390 --> 00:19:45.410 Yeah, yeah. Chelsea has Taylor. Yeah, they're 00:19:45.410 --> 00:19:47.730 just too damn distracted. Well, tell me this, 00:19:47.890 --> 00:19:52.490 okay? Then you got Rasheed that's fighting court 00:19:52.490 --> 00:20:00.170 battles in Texas. Yeah, Rasheed had 141 yards 00:20:00.170 --> 00:20:04.970 today in the catching. No, no, no, no, no, no. 00:20:04.970 --> 00:20:09.150 It's a good start, but... They need to get to 00:20:09.150 --> 00:20:11.230 where they can turn these into seven points, 00:20:11.289 --> 00:20:16.109 not three points. Kareem Hunt had 104 yards on 00:20:16.109 --> 00:20:22.869 the ground. Okay, but he got a touchdown. That 00:20:22.869 --> 00:20:28.289 first touchdown was taken back. That first bat 00:20:28.289 --> 00:20:31.289 is Dave Tobe. You and him both need to go plant 00:20:31.289 --> 00:20:34.769 residence in Denver and go ruin their team. Assholes. 00:20:37.559 --> 00:20:41.299 Let's move on. You're coming in tonight? No, 00:20:41.319 --> 00:20:43.500 I'm just fed up with certain things. I know, 00:20:43.559 --> 00:20:47.319 I know, I know. Especially when it's simple shit. 00:20:47.859 --> 00:20:50.339 Yeah, and what I'm not doing anymore is I'm not 00:20:50.339 --> 00:20:54.579 pussyfooting. If I think something sucks, I'm 00:20:54.579 --> 00:20:56.339 going after it, and I'm not fucking shutting 00:20:56.339 --> 00:20:59.299 up. I don't care, and I'll call anybody out. 00:20:59.380 --> 00:21:01.079 Chris Jones, you're another one. You're another 00:21:01.079 --> 00:21:03.000 problem. You've got to get your act together, 00:21:03.140 --> 00:21:05.259 and if you don't, then just step down. Let someone 00:21:05.259 --> 00:21:11.759 in there that can do it. Bottom line. So, all 00:21:11.759 --> 00:21:15.759 right, let's see here. Now, let me find some 00:21:15.759 --> 00:21:17.380 of this other stuff I was doing before I got 00:21:17.380 --> 00:21:24.980 distracted there. I don't know what I did with 00:21:24.980 --> 00:21:33.519 it here. That's what I get from... I'm on it. 00:21:35.849 --> 00:21:51.670 Yeah, it's okay. Anyhow, let's... A New Hampshire 00:21:51.670 --> 00:21:55.049 man is getting sued because a colleague that 00:21:55.049 --> 00:21:57.750 kept stealing his lunch had to go to the hospital 00:21:57.750 --> 00:22:00.390 with severe burns to his esophagus and throat. 00:22:00.630 --> 00:22:03.549 The man with the burns allegedly... Yes, yes. 00:22:04.119 --> 00:22:06.440 A New Hampshire man is getting sued because a 00:22:06.440 --> 00:22:08.779 colleague that kept stealing his lunch had to 00:22:08.779 --> 00:22:12.059 go to the hospital with severe burns to his esophagus 00:22:12.059 --> 00:22:14.240 and throat. The man with the burns allegedly 00:22:14.240 --> 00:22:17.400 stole the other man's food numerous times, and 00:22:17.400 --> 00:22:19.880 the man with the food was sick of this behavior 00:22:19.880 --> 00:22:22.839 when he decided to get even. Okay, so you're 00:22:22.839 --> 00:22:24.759 with me, right? This guy's stealing his lunches, 00:22:24.779 --> 00:22:28.779 okay, at work. Okay. All right. Okay, right there, 00:22:28.839 --> 00:22:33.299 right there. Self -defense clause. Yes. You're 00:22:33.299 --> 00:22:36.039 stealing my shit. That's self -defense. I think 00:22:36.039 --> 00:22:38.920 so, too. So let me finish here, and then I want 00:22:38.920 --> 00:22:42.500 to get your opinion. Okay. The man went to the 00:22:42.500 --> 00:22:44.980 deli. He always went to for lunches, and he had 00:22:44.980 --> 00:22:48.259 them prepare two meatball subs, one regular and 00:22:48.259 --> 00:22:51.380 one with ghost pepper and Carolina Reaper peppers. 00:22:52.099 --> 00:22:55.339 He left the scorching hot sub in the work cooler 00:22:55.339 --> 00:22:58.400 for the thief to steal. The thief ate a few bites 00:22:58.400 --> 00:23:00.640 and fell on the floor and needed immediate medical 00:23:00.640 --> 00:23:03.519 attention. The man will have to have several 00:23:03.519 --> 00:23:05.660 operations to try and repair the damage caused 00:23:05.660 --> 00:23:10.000 by the hot food. So, Rob, are you still saying 00:23:10.000 --> 00:23:18.599 that or not? Okay. If the dude's stealing, you 00:23:18.599 --> 00:23:22.359 get what you get. That's the way I think, too. 00:23:22.960 --> 00:23:25.000 If you don't want that to happen, don't steal 00:23:25.000 --> 00:23:34.509 the dude's food. Yeah, just saying. Hey, I think 00:23:34.509 --> 00:23:39.170 it's awesome. I mean, and also, you... I don't 00:23:39.170 --> 00:23:44.509 think he deserves going to court over it. No, 00:23:44.509 --> 00:23:47.309 no, I don't either, but I can tell you right 00:23:47.309 --> 00:23:52.309 now... Hopefully the judge will understand. Hopefully, 00:23:52.349 --> 00:23:56.809 I mean, yeah, I think that the guy definitely 00:23:56.809 --> 00:24:01.759 has a defense. You know, the guy keeps stealing 00:24:01.759 --> 00:24:05.180 his lunch. We'll see how it rules because it 00:24:05.180 --> 00:24:07.960 may go to a jury. And we all know juries are 00:24:07.960 --> 00:24:10.279 dumber than fucking rocks. So we'll see what 00:24:10.279 --> 00:24:14.380 happens. Yeah. I don't know. In that case, hopefully 00:24:14.380 --> 00:24:16.859 he'll get some down to earth people that's had 00:24:16.859 --> 00:24:22.640 their lunches stolen before. I did buy a homeless 00:24:22.640 --> 00:24:25.680 guy. You got 30 minutes. Where are you going 00:24:25.680 --> 00:24:28.779 to go to get something for lunch, you know? Uh 00:24:28.779 --> 00:24:44.349 -huh. Yeah. No, true, true. You're right, Rob. 00:24:45.069 --> 00:24:48.509 So, anyhow, let's go ahead and turn it over to 00:24:48.509 --> 00:24:51.589 you, and then we'll come back with some emails 00:24:51.589 --> 00:24:53.910 after you're done. Sound good? I mean, after 00:24:53.910 --> 00:27:31.960 our break. I can believe it. Okay. Yeah, I do 00:27:31.960 --> 00:27:36.160 too. It would be more like Night Court. The show 00:27:36.160 --> 00:28:19.539 Night Court. Yeah. He agreed to a six -month 00:28:19.539 --> 00:28:25.819 unpaid suspension followed by a non -revocable 00:28:25.819 --> 00:28:55.049 resignation. Okay. Why is it a six -month delay? 00:28:59.589 --> 00:29:07.190 That's weird. But, no, that wasn't the main purpose 00:29:07.190 --> 00:29:11.109 of that. No, but I see what you're saying, and 00:29:11.109 --> 00:29:15.589 it's true. It's like, why the delay? I don't 00:29:15.589 --> 00:29:40.029 know. Yeah Yeah Something yeah, yeah something 00:29:40.029 --> 00:30:01.609 like that I hear you Yeah, yep Yeah I would agree. 00:30:02.150 --> 00:30:08.849 I need to be more like Nightcore. For sure. Okay. 00:30:10.849 --> 00:30:14.910 Okay. All right. Thank you, Rob. Hey, I got a 00:30:14.910 --> 00:30:17.930 question. Yeah. Have you heard about the Great 00:30:17.930 --> 00:30:24.609 Lock -In? No. Well, let's have the new guy earn 00:30:24.609 --> 00:30:29.529 his money. All right. I know, I know. Look. He's 00:30:29.529 --> 00:30:32.769 surly, he's pissy and everything, but look, you 00:30:32.769 --> 00:30:35.069 paid him and I gave him pencil shaving, so we're 00:30:35.069 --> 00:30:38.089 going to have to use him, right? Yeah, we got 00:30:38.089 --> 00:30:40.710 you. All right, new guy. Earn your money, bitch. 00:30:43.789 --> 00:30:46.210 The Great Lock -In is a social media -driven 00:30:46.210 --> 00:30:48.650 challenge that took place from September 1st 00:30:48.650 --> 00:30:52.170 to December 31st, 2025, and encouraged people 00:30:52.170 --> 00:30:54.890 to intensely focus on specific personal goals, 00:30:55.009 --> 00:30:57.549 such as fitness, finances, or mental health. 00:30:57.950 --> 00:30:59.869 During the last four months of the year, the 00:30:59.869 --> 00:31:02.029 goal was to build momentum and habits to carry 00:31:02.029 --> 00:31:04.250 into the new year rather than waiting for January 00:31:04.250 --> 00:31:08.930 1st. Hey, you yankers. We often think many things 00:31:08.930 --> 00:31:10.990 are just true because we've heard it our whole 00:31:10.990 --> 00:31:13.750 lives. That's why here at Two Douchebags and 00:31:13.750 --> 00:31:16.309 Microphone, we developed the segment, Not True. 00:31:17.109 --> 00:31:20.089 We investigate and uncover the real truths of 00:31:20.089 --> 00:31:24.130 what happened. We've heard for years that Einstein 00:31:24.130 --> 00:31:26.789 was so intelligent he could not figure out how 00:31:26.789 --> 00:31:30.930 to tie his shoe. The fact is, he disliked wearing 00:31:30.930 --> 00:31:34.490 socks. He would put socks over his shoes to avoid 00:31:34.490 --> 00:31:37.750 tying them. He believed tying shoelaces was an 00:31:37.750 --> 00:31:41.210 incredible waste of time. So were Crocs when 00:31:41.210 --> 00:31:44.750 Einstein needed them. Yes, it's true. Mark is 00:31:44.750 --> 00:31:47.750 an old bastard. It's also true that Mark uses 00:31:47.750 --> 00:31:51.049 a lot of ibuprofen. But Mark would like to tell 00:31:51.049 --> 00:31:53.970 you... If you see any pictures of him roofing 00:31:53.970 --> 00:31:57.630 ibuprofen, it's obviously fake, and you're to 00:31:57.630 --> 00:31:59.549 take the pictures and tear them up immediately. 00:32:00.750 --> 00:32:03.930 The following is a parody. A parody, and nothing 00:32:03.930 --> 00:32:06.269 but a parody. So don't get your panties in a 00:32:06.269 --> 00:32:10.450 wad. Well, hey there, fellas. This is Lil Skippy 00:32:10.450 --> 00:32:12.750 Bayless, and I like to say that I am a jealous 00:32:12.750 --> 00:32:15.309 little bitch, and I only mouth off about my homes 00:32:15.309 --> 00:32:17.430 and the Chiefs is because I have to latch on 00:32:17.430 --> 00:32:19.930 to something relevant as an attempt to make me 00:32:19.930 --> 00:32:22.839 relevant. but it isn't working. Well, I gotta 00:32:22.839 --> 00:32:25.559 go. I have a new Dak Prescott poster I need to 00:32:25.559 --> 00:32:30.240 run one out to. See ya! Hi there. This could 00:32:30.240 --> 00:32:33.279 be Dave Tobe from the Kansas City Chiefs. If 00:32:33.279 --> 00:32:36.559 I am indeed Dave Tobe, I would like to tell everyone 00:32:36.559 --> 00:32:38.539 that the botched kicks and penalties are all 00:32:38.539 --> 00:32:41.440 the fault of Donald Trump. I do look to be in 00:32:41.440 --> 00:32:43.980 high demand in offseason. High school coaching 00:32:43.980 --> 00:32:46.500 is where it's at. Peewee League not included, 00:32:46.579 --> 00:32:49.170 but I might have to work my way up. Chiefs fans, 00:32:49.369 --> 00:32:53.329 get your shit together. Cast Sherwood R1, here 00:32:53.329 --> 00:32:58.609 I come. Next up, things overheard in hell. The 00:32:58.609 --> 00:33:02.730 24 -7 Jerry Lewis telephone is coming right up. 00:33:03.450 --> 00:33:06.309 This here podcast has Mark's personal stamp of 00:33:06.309 --> 00:33:09.490 approval. The only problem is Mark likes to spit 00:33:09.490 --> 00:33:18.380 on his stamps, and he's a horrible enemy. Two 00:33:18.380 --> 00:33:20.640 douchebags, a microphone, and an effort to keep 00:33:20.640 --> 00:33:26.160 everything fresh. We offer you first world problems. 00:33:27.519 --> 00:33:34.220 My 76 -inch smart HDMI, triphonic, stereo TV. 00:33:34.819 --> 00:33:38.039 My remote won't work unless I'm right in front 00:33:38.039 --> 00:33:41.920 of it. I can't believe it. This is bullshit. 00:33:42.680 --> 00:33:47.470 You watched the news. It looks grim. Is an apocalypse 00:33:47.470 --> 00:33:51.289 inevitable? We suggest you download all our podcasts 00:33:51.289 --> 00:33:54.470 beforehand and have multiple mobile chargers. 00:33:54.589 --> 00:34:01.769 We have the post -apocalypse. Morse code is an 00:34:01.769 --> 00:34:04.630 essential must -know post -apocalypse. Go to 00:34:04.630 --> 00:34:07.930 a library or look it up online. Learn Morse code. 00:34:08.190 --> 00:34:11.369 This code could save your life. Many survivalists 00:34:11.369 --> 00:34:13.789 have learned Morse code to alert other dwellers 00:34:13.789 --> 00:34:16.250 of possible danger. or where there could be clean 00:34:16.250 --> 00:34:20.469 water or their whereabouts. Hey, look! I think 00:34:20.469 --> 00:34:22.710 we found land! Oh my god, I think we're safe! 00:34:23.750 --> 00:34:30.690 Oh no! It's an island of horrible jokes! My wife 00:34:30.690 --> 00:34:36.329 said I should do lunches to stay in shape. That 00:34:36.329 --> 00:34:41.849 is a big step forward. Christopher, you were 00:34:41.849 --> 00:34:45.099 talking about... brain maturity the other day? 00:34:45.539 --> 00:34:49.519 Yeah, that's something that I saw an article 00:34:49.519 --> 00:34:53.699 on. A lot of neurologists are saying that a human's 00:34:53.699 --> 00:34:57.699 brain doesn't reach full maturity until age 25, 00:34:58.039 --> 00:35:02.659 which I thought was rather interesting because 00:35:02.659 --> 00:35:12.480 there's a lot of consideration of maturity. when 00:35:12.480 --> 00:35:15.159 they're talking about laws. You know, is a person 00:35:15.159 --> 00:35:19.239 mature enough? Can they handle this responsibility? 00:35:19.679 --> 00:35:23.360 Can they be held responsible for this? It's like 00:35:23.360 --> 00:35:25.199 we don't let... That brings a lot of stuff in 00:35:25.199 --> 00:35:27.780 question, doesn't it? Yeah, yeah. Like we say, 00:35:27.880 --> 00:35:29.860 you know, if you're under 18, then your brain 00:35:29.860 --> 00:35:33.659 isn't mature enough to vote. But at 18, you are. 00:35:34.179 --> 00:35:37.019 But at 18, you're able to fight for your country, 00:35:37.219 --> 00:35:41.289 which to me is kind of contradictory. But your 00:35:41.289 --> 00:35:43.409 brain isn't mature yet for another seven years. 00:35:43.690 --> 00:35:46.110 So can you really make the decision to go and 00:35:46.110 --> 00:35:48.090 risk your life for your country if your brain 00:35:48.090 --> 00:35:53.150 is still immature? Well, okay. It used to be 00:35:53.150 --> 00:35:55.309 you didn't make the decision. That's true. Now 00:35:55.309 --> 00:35:57.849 that you do make the decision, that's very much 00:35:57.849 --> 00:36:01.769 up for debate because is it legal? Could someone 00:36:01.769 --> 00:36:05.250 get out of it with this defense? That's a good 00:36:05.250 --> 00:36:07.650 question. That's a good question. There are already 00:36:07.650 --> 00:36:12.320 people who are talking about... not making people 00:36:12.320 --> 00:36:15.820 under the age of 18 pay any kind of income tax 00:36:15.820 --> 00:36:20.059 because they don't get to vote yet, so they are 00:36:20.059 --> 00:36:22.539 not represented. Yeah, that's true, and they're 00:36:22.539 --> 00:36:26.219 not felons. Yeah, that's one of the big parts 00:36:26.219 --> 00:36:31.900 of this country is representation has to come 00:36:31.900 --> 00:36:35.079 along with taxation. So if you're taxing a 16 00:36:35.079 --> 00:36:37.139 -year -old or a 17 -year -old on their income, 00:36:37.280 --> 00:36:40.030 they don't get to vote. That's true. They should 00:36:40.030 --> 00:36:49.849 be exempt. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I really, I don't 00:36:49.849 --> 00:36:52.289 know, I'm kind of on the fence. I see both sides. 00:36:52.449 --> 00:36:57.469 I mean, but then 25, I mean, I think that that 00:36:57.469 --> 00:37:01.230 right there would help the conservatives more 00:37:01.230 --> 00:37:05.860 than the liberals. Because it's my belief that 00:37:05.860 --> 00:37:08.059 people get more conservative the longer they 00:37:08.059 --> 00:37:11.420 live. Yeah. And the more they have to lose. Yes. 00:37:11.579 --> 00:37:15.320 And the more often random bad shit happens to 00:37:15.320 --> 00:37:18.400 them. Yes. Like the old joke is a conservative 00:37:18.400 --> 00:37:21.659 is a liberal who's been mugged. And a liberal 00:37:21.659 --> 00:37:25.099 is a conservative who's been arrested. That's 00:37:25.099 --> 00:37:28.260 pretty good. It just depends on your point of 00:37:28.260 --> 00:37:42.239 view. This is Two Douchebags and Microphone. 00:37:42.239 --> 00:37:44.619 I am the Mark portion of it, and I am in the 00:37:44.619 --> 00:37:47.199 Kansas City area at the Talk is Cheap studio. 00:37:48.719 --> 00:37:56.559 And I am Rob in Wheatland, Missouri, home of 00:37:56.559 --> 00:38:02.280 the magnificent Lucas Oil Speedway. You can smell 00:38:02.280 --> 00:38:16.340 the oil. for tonight i love it i go in the house 00:38:16.340 --> 00:38:20.400 i can't do my stories i'm sitting in a truck 00:38:20.400 --> 00:38:24.719 i'm nice and warm i'm cozy i'm good rob you're 00:38:24.719 --> 00:38:27.159 doing fine you sound great for being out in the 00:38:27.159 --> 00:38:44.960 douchebag mobile so Yeah, very easily could be. 00:38:45.360 --> 00:38:48.099 I think I get a chance to relax. I'll be all 00:38:48.099 --> 00:38:51.340 right. Yeah, probably. You've been burning candles 00:38:51.340 --> 00:38:55.000 at not both ends, but five ends. You know, I 00:38:55.000 --> 00:38:59.780 mean, you're stretched to nothing, so. No, I'm 00:38:59.780 --> 00:39:04.739 the cat of nine tables at this point. Yeah. Yep. 00:39:04.840 --> 00:39:11.510 All right. You want to go into some emails? You 00:39:11.510 --> 00:39:13.309 know what, the first one I think, no, I'll go 00:39:13.309 --> 00:39:15.849 ahead and do it right now. All right, it's kind 00:39:15.849 --> 00:39:19.389 of a long one, but, you know, normally I wouldn't 00:39:19.389 --> 00:39:21.789 cover this, but I know this guy because he always 00:39:21.789 --> 00:39:23.929 is kind of a smartass, and he contributes to 00:39:23.929 --> 00:39:26.730 the show quite a bit, Monty in San Francisco. 00:39:28.150 --> 00:39:31.949 He's been on quite a few emails. Yeah, Monty. 00:39:32.079 --> 00:39:34.760 Yeah, he hasn't been in any for about a month 00:39:34.760 --> 00:39:36.820 and a half, but he's kind of got a serious one 00:39:36.820 --> 00:39:39.000 here, so we're going to go ahead and try to accommodate 00:39:39.000 --> 00:39:40.340 him. I'm going to tell him what I think, and 00:39:40.340 --> 00:39:42.360 I want to hear what you think. Okay, that sound 00:39:42.360 --> 00:39:44.260 good? He's probably been busy like the rest of 00:39:44.260 --> 00:39:47.099 us. Yes, I'm sure he has. Okay, it says, hey, 00:39:47.119 --> 00:39:49.500 Mark, I know I've been a smart ass and asked 00:39:49.500 --> 00:39:51.960 for biscuit recipes and such in the past. That's 00:39:51.960 --> 00:39:56.320 right. Yeah, that was one of the very first recipes, 00:39:56.519 --> 00:40:00.039 biscuit. Okay, all right. I have a real question. 00:40:00.519 --> 00:40:03.880 I trust your advice. Here it goes. I have a type 00:40:03.880 --> 00:40:07.119 A personality. I get very angry quickly, and 00:40:07.119 --> 00:40:09.300 this behavior has led to my wife rethinking our 00:40:09.300 --> 00:40:11.980 marriage. I almost got shot, and I had my foot 00:40:11.980 --> 00:40:14.719 ran over by a frightened punk. I really need 00:40:14.719 --> 00:40:17.719 some advice on how to control myself, Monty in 00:40:17.719 --> 00:40:22.559 San Francisco. You know, Monty, thank you for 00:40:22.559 --> 00:40:33.500 trusting us. I mean, really. Okay, Monty, I can 00:40:33.500 --> 00:40:36.500 only really think of this right here. Before 00:40:36.500 --> 00:40:38.599 you cut your life short by a couple of minutes 00:40:38.599 --> 00:40:41.900 every day by burning your heart up, getting pissed 00:40:41.900 --> 00:40:45.159 off, take a step back and think of the large 00:40:45.159 --> 00:40:49.940 picture. Does this matter? We will all die one 00:40:49.940 --> 00:40:54.980 day. We will have loves and tragedies. We will 00:40:54.980 --> 00:40:57.699 see marvelous things. We will see horrible things. 00:40:58.059 --> 00:41:01.239 Do not fill your glorious life up living with 00:41:01.239 --> 00:41:04.659 angry moments. Make the best every day by giving 00:41:04.659 --> 00:41:07.059 examples, love, respect, and kindness, even though 00:41:07.059 --> 00:41:10.199 I tell everybody to go fuck themselves and I 00:41:10.199 --> 00:41:14.139 bitch and tell people to go to hell and quit 00:41:14.139 --> 00:41:16.000 and leave the Chiefs and all that stuff. We all 00:41:16.000 --> 00:41:19.570 do. Yes. We all do. We all do. Yeah, but seriously, 00:41:19.829 --> 00:41:22.570 this is make the best of every day by giving 00:41:22.570 --> 00:41:25.150 examples of love, respect, and kindness. Your 00:41:25.150 --> 00:41:27.630 dog loves you for a reason. Be what your dog 00:41:27.630 --> 00:41:33.329 sees. Monty, please keep in touch. Let us know 00:41:33.329 --> 00:41:36.210 how you're doing. Rob, go ahead. I want to hear 00:41:36.210 --> 00:41:50.489 what you have to say about this. I like that. 00:41:50.789 --> 00:41:54.670 You know what I mean? I have learned that lately. 00:41:55.389 --> 00:42:01.670 I have come up from where I started when I started 00:42:01.670 --> 00:42:07.190 on this podcast to where I am today. I wake up 00:42:07.190 --> 00:42:13.849 thanking God, thanking whoever for allowing me 00:42:13.849 --> 00:43:23.639 to wake up. I got it. I know. I know. No, I love 00:43:23.639 --> 00:43:26.460 that, Rob. I love that. And also, I would like 00:43:26.460 --> 00:43:43.059 to... Yes, I know. I know. Yeah, yeah. Yes. Yes. 00:43:52.739 --> 00:43:55.119 And also, I'd like to add one more thing about 00:43:55.119 --> 00:43:58.780 a type A personality, because I am somewhat of 00:43:58.780 --> 00:44:01.820 that myself. And here's one of the problems with 00:44:01.820 --> 00:44:04.679 type A personalities, and especially if you believe 00:44:04.679 --> 00:44:07.880 in the Scorpios like me, as much as you love 00:44:07.880 --> 00:44:10.760 is as much as you can despise and hate in the 00:44:10.760 --> 00:44:13.539 same sentence. It's a weird deal. I've lived 00:44:13.539 --> 00:44:16.440 with it my whole life. I don't know quite anybody 00:44:16.440 --> 00:44:20.659 who's quite like that. to my degree and other 00:44:20.659 --> 00:44:23.460 people I know that fit the type of personality 00:44:23.460 --> 00:44:27.099 this is. And I have to quell myself and bring 00:44:27.099 --> 00:44:31.000 myself back every day because I love people beyond 00:44:31.000 --> 00:44:34.480 measure. The people I love, I just adore and 00:44:34.480 --> 00:44:38.360 I thank God for them every day. But in that same 00:44:38.360 --> 00:44:41.400 sentence, I can get so angry, I just want to 00:44:41.400 --> 00:44:44.940 destroy everything around. But... The thing is, 00:44:44.960 --> 00:44:46.900 is you got to learn how to mediate yourself and 00:44:46.900 --> 00:44:49.980 talk to yourself and calm yourself down. I don't 00:44:49.980 --> 00:44:53.059 always do it, but I'm 90 % better than what I 00:44:53.059 --> 00:44:55.800 used to be. And my aim is to keep getting better 00:44:55.800 --> 00:44:58.820 every day. The more I live, the more I see everything. 00:44:58.920 --> 00:45:00.980 And the more I realize that none of this really 00:45:00.980 --> 00:45:03.739 matters. None of it matters. The only thing that 00:45:03.739 --> 00:45:09.019 matters is, is how you love, how you love people, 00:45:09.219 --> 00:45:12.340 how you love the earth, how you love animals, 00:45:12.519 --> 00:45:17.559 everything. So, anyhow, Monty, keep in touch. 00:45:17.760 --> 00:45:20.179 Let us know how you're doing. I hope we helped 00:45:20.179 --> 00:45:22.639 you out. Rob had some really good witness here. 00:45:22.800 --> 00:45:26.059 I hope I did you some good. So, thank you. We 00:45:26.059 --> 00:45:29.639 really appreciate you trusting us, too. So, thank 00:45:29.639 --> 00:45:31.599 you, Monty. You're a great listener. We love 00:45:31.599 --> 00:45:35.579 you. All right, next one. I would like to congratulate 00:45:35.579 --> 00:45:39.380 Rob on his upcoming nuptials. I wish him the 00:45:39.380 --> 00:45:42.320 very best. Love you both. Ronnie and Tulsa, the 00:45:42.320 --> 00:45:46.320 Tulsa King. He's a great guy. I love that guy. 00:45:50.699 --> 00:46:01.860 Rob? Rob, are you there? I guess not. All right. 00:46:01.860 --> 00:46:05.539 Well, here, while Rob's going to be calling back 00:46:05.539 --> 00:46:12.250 here. Okay, maybe I need to call him back. He's 00:46:12.250 --> 00:46:17.969 not calling back. Oh, here we go. Hey, Rob. Hey, 00:46:19.030 --> 00:46:20.989 go. Let me put you on speaker. There we go. All 00:46:20.989 --> 00:46:36.590 right. You there? Shit happens. All right. Oh. 00:46:37.050 --> 00:46:40.110 Okay, Ronnie in Tulsa. What a great guy, huh? 00:46:40.230 --> 00:46:45.130 Did you hear what he said? Yes, yes. Yes, I did. 00:46:46.630 --> 00:46:52.869 All right. Hey, Rob. What is your middle name? 00:46:54.050 --> 00:47:03.250 Benny in Wisconsin. Franklin. There you go. Robert 00:47:03.250 --> 00:47:09.210 Franklin Radford. All right. Mark, will you please... 00:47:09.210 --> 00:47:12.610 No, no, no. I screwed that one up. Okay, Mark, 00:47:12.750 --> 00:47:15.690 will you stop doing this horrible podcast? Please 00:47:15.690 --> 00:47:18.630 and thank you. You're the best. Appreciate you. 00:47:19.070 --> 00:47:24.269 Clint in Arkansas. He got me pretty good. He 00:47:24.269 --> 00:47:28.789 got me pretty good. Wait a second. Clint's back 00:47:28.789 --> 00:47:35.010 in Arkansas? That's what he claims. This is really... 00:47:35.010 --> 00:47:41.659 Clint? If you keep writing stuff like this, this 00:47:41.659 --> 00:47:45.179 is awesome. I like this one. Mark, will you stop 00:47:45.179 --> 00:47:47.980 doing this horrible podcast? Please and thank 00:47:47.980 --> 00:47:54.179 you. You're the best. Appreciate you. Clint, 00:47:54.320 --> 00:47:57.860 thank you. That was great. I'm not going to hide 00:47:57.860 --> 00:48:02.219 the Narcan now. Yeah, he must have gotten the 00:48:02.219 --> 00:48:07.849 Narcan. I guess so. He's still around. Oh, oh, 00:48:07.889 --> 00:48:13.389 oh, oh. Okay, Rob, listen to this. Number one, 00:48:13.389 --> 00:48:18.849 do you know where Duncan Lane is? Yeah, it goes 00:48:18.849 --> 00:48:21.829 from Westline. It goes from the southeast side 00:48:21.829 --> 00:48:28.789 of Westline to south of Freeman. And it's called 00:48:28.789 --> 00:48:30.670 Duncan Lane, and it's an old gravel road with 00:48:30.670 --> 00:48:33.849 potholes everywhere, deer everywhere, animals 00:48:33.849 --> 00:48:38.789 everywhere. A lot of swampy areas. You don't 00:48:38.789 --> 00:48:45.289 remember that at all? It's been years, man. Well, 00:48:45.329 --> 00:48:48.590 I think you got a hint here, and you tell me 00:48:48.590 --> 00:48:51.269 if you do or not. Okay. Hey, Rob, you ever get 00:48:51.269 --> 00:48:54.449 stuck on Duncan Lane at 2 in the morning? Just 00:48:54.449 --> 00:48:58.250 asking. Anonymous. Somewhere in South Central 00:48:58.250 --> 00:49:10.400 Cass County. Speaking of Mitch. Ring a bell at 00:49:10.400 --> 00:49:28.019 all? I guess not. Maybe. Okay, hey, Anonymous, 00:49:28.260 --> 00:49:35.460 do you remember? I'm thinking this is Mitch. 00:49:35.599 --> 00:49:38.739 I'm sure this is Mitch. South Central, Cass County. 00:49:42.730 --> 00:49:51.150 If it's the time of taking off? No, no, it would 00:49:51.150 --> 00:49:57.730 not. No, that would not be. I'm sure I did. I'm 00:49:57.730 --> 00:50:00.929 sure. Fuck, you know us. We were always running 00:50:00.929 --> 00:50:04.630 around there. Yeah, Mitch, come on. Give us a 00:50:04.630 --> 00:50:07.679 better hint. Every hint you've given us has been 00:50:07.679 --> 00:50:10.619 vague and could be anything. So come on, give 00:50:10.619 --> 00:50:16.380 us a real one, okay? I was probably really drunk 00:50:16.380 --> 00:50:21.219 that night, to be honest. If I was in that part 00:50:21.219 --> 00:50:25.380 of the country, I was drunk. I got this feeling 00:50:25.380 --> 00:50:30.860 that he's just screwing with us now. You know, 00:50:31.039 --> 00:50:35.099 I wouldn't doubt it. I don't know. I will. Mitch 00:50:35.099 --> 00:50:37.400 B., come on. Come up with some good stuff, all 00:50:37.400 --> 00:50:40.559 right? I mean, I don't know. All right, we're 00:50:40.559 --> 00:50:41.840 going to go ahead and go on to the next one. 00:50:42.559 --> 00:50:45.079 Mark, will you color your hair pink? Rodney and 00:50:45.079 --> 00:50:47.260 Casey. I got it pink right now. You didn't see 00:50:47.260 --> 00:50:51.440 it? Shit, Rodney, come on. I posted it everywhere. 00:50:52.260 --> 00:50:56.260 You saw my pink hair, didn't you, Rob? Yeah, 00:50:56.280 --> 00:50:59.300 I don't know, but I jumped on Facebook a while 00:50:59.300 --> 00:51:01.599 ago and see it. Yeah, it was great. I don't know 00:51:01.599 --> 00:51:03.039 what you're talking about, Rodney. It's already 00:51:03.039 --> 00:51:10.269 pink. There we go. Thank you. I appreciate it, 00:51:10.289 --> 00:51:12.190 Rob. Yeah, I was really proud of it. I can't 00:51:12.190 --> 00:51:14.809 believe Rodney didn't even notice. That hurts. 00:51:14.829 --> 00:51:17.630 That hurts me. I worked hard for Rodney. Get 00:51:17.630 --> 00:51:21.670 on our Facebook page. You'll see it. Yeah, I 00:51:21.670 --> 00:51:24.030 worked hard for you, Rodney. I did this for you 00:51:24.030 --> 00:51:26.230 because I knew you weren't happy with my regular 00:51:26.230 --> 00:51:30.969 hair color. Jeez, I feel, I don't know, you know, 00:51:30.969 --> 00:51:37.809 I feel, I feel betrayed, Rob. You know, I mean, 00:51:37.809 --> 00:51:41.929 he should have noticed. It hurts me. All right, 00:51:42.110 --> 00:51:47.269 next one. Can you do a show poll? Who's funnier, 00:51:47.469 --> 00:51:54.050 Mark, Rob, or the drywall in the room? Telly 00:51:54.050 --> 00:51:58.150 in Tucson. All I got to say is I hope the drywall 00:51:58.150 --> 00:52:01.050 doesn't get a big head and get surly like the 00:52:01.050 --> 00:52:14.489 new guy. Right? Go ahead. Uh -huh. Uh -huh. Yes. 00:52:19.349 --> 00:52:23.269 Oh, speaking of plaster. Oh, I got some. Yeah. 00:52:26.510 --> 00:52:34.809 Boy, you put a nail in anything. Okay, you know 00:52:34.809 --> 00:52:47.860 what? Well, I can tell you right now. I need 00:52:47.860 --> 00:52:50.500 to do some research before I go ahead and talk. 00:52:51.119 --> 00:52:53.659 When you go to break it into a 100 -year -old 00:52:53.659 --> 00:52:56.579 house into the walls, you're going to notice 00:52:56.579 --> 00:52:58.840 there's shredded newspaper in there. That's what 00:52:58.840 --> 00:53:01.000 they used to use for insulation. It's the weirdest 00:53:01.000 --> 00:53:04.699 thing. Oh, I know. And then, whenever you're 00:53:04.699 --> 00:53:07.360 in there in the shredded newspaper, be careful 00:53:07.360 --> 00:53:11.309 for spiders. Especially brown recluses. They 00:53:11.309 --> 00:53:13.530 love that paper. They love to entwine themselves 00:53:13.530 --> 00:53:15.929 in there. And like I spoke about, I think, last 00:53:15.929 --> 00:53:18.949 podcast or the one before where I almost stuck 00:53:18.949 --> 00:53:21.210 my hand in them when I was cleaning out the hot 00:53:21.210 --> 00:53:25.929 tub. They are recluses, but they will sting you 00:53:25.929 --> 00:53:29.269 if you put your hand near them because it's just 00:53:29.269 --> 00:53:31.429 self -defense. You know, they're like, hey, this 00:53:31.429 --> 00:53:34.969 guy's going to kill me. I got to stop him. I 00:53:34.969 --> 00:53:37.449 learned this the hard way. I didn't get stung, 00:53:37.449 --> 00:53:40.469 but man, I almost did several times when I was 00:53:40.469 --> 00:53:43.989 digging into my old house that I sold. And I 00:53:43.989 --> 00:53:47.489 was doing some work. And Bob, he's since passed 00:53:47.489 --> 00:53:51.750 away. He's like a second father to me. Love the 00:53:51.750 --> 00:53:58.449 guy. Bob, love you. So anyhow, he's the one that 00:53:58.449 --> 00:54:00.289 explained to me. He said that they used to not 00:54:00.289 --> 00:54:03.840 have insulation. So they used shredded newspaper 00:54:03.840 --> 00:54:09.639 as insulation in between the walls. So, anyhow, 00:54:09.940 --> 00:54:11.360 but you probably already knew that because you 00:54:11.360 --> 00:54:14.179 did a lot of maintenance work, so. Yeah, yeah, 00:54:14.280 --> 00:54:18.960 yeah, a lot of, well, many years we did insert, 00:54:19.199 --> 00:54:22.300 like fire damage, water damage. Oh, then you 00:54:22.300 --> 00:54:25.320 ran across a lot of that. And just remodeling. 00:54:25.800 --> 00:54:37.500 Uh -huh. Yeah, it is. Yeah, because of the plaster? 00:54:37.559 --> 00:54:40.940 That's just going to chip off. It sucks. And 00:54:40.940 --> 00:54:45.000 also, nothing is square. But you know this. Nothing 00:54:45.000 --> 00:54:47.300 is going to be square in that house. Nothing. 00:54:47.340 --> 00:54:49.980 It's over 100 years old. Everything is going 00:54:49.980 --> 00:54:52.179 to be in an angle. I already know. I've already 00:54:52.179 --> 00:54:55.679 laid vinyl flooring in the dining room. Oh, then 00:54:55.679 --> 00:54:58.719 you know. You know. Okay. I already know. Yeah. 00:54:59.760 --> 00:55:02.460 But you know what? It turned out good. It turned 00:55:02.460 --> 00:55:04.920 out good. It's better than what I thought. That's 00:55:04.920 --> 00:55:06.860 good. That's good, because I've got to mess up 00:55:06.860 --> 00:55:08.780 my hands on the front porch that I've got to 00:55:08.780 --> 00:55:10.559 deal with, but I'll get to that. I'll figure 00:55:10.559 --> 00:55:14.800 it out, I think. Oh, I'm just starting. Oh, so 00:55:14.800 --> 00:55:17.699 am I. I look at this house here as a 20 -year 00:55:17.699 --> 00:55:21.320 project now. I'm just like, yeah, it's a 20 -year 00:55:21.320 --> 00:55:23.840 project, okay? That's all. I'm going to be working 00:55:23.840 --> 00:55:30.579 on it until about lunchtime at my funeral. That's 00:55:30.579 --> 00:55:35.619 about it. Yeah. Oh, all right. That's all the 00:55:35.619 --> 00:55:41.860 emails. So, Rob, let's turn it over to you. All 00:55:41.860 --> 00:55:46.199 right. I'm going to go into a family I've talked 00:55:46.199 --> 00:58:55.190 about before. Okay. That is, yep, I agree. Best 00:58:55.190 --> 00:59:00.110 movie ever. Yep. One guy, you would look him 00:59:00.110 --> 00:59:03.070 in the eye or say anything, and he would just 00:59:03.070 --> 00:59:07.309 scream and go running away. His trousers would 00:59:07.309 --> 00:59:10.969 fall around his ankles. He would go running off 00:59:10.969 --> 00:59:38.250 and kick the rubbish bin. Cool. yep i don't know 00:59:38.250 --> 00:59:41.590 why i just no thank you for the update on that 00:59:41.590 --> 00:59:44.530 i mean that's good um yeah i know you've done 00:59:44.530 --> 00:59:46.750 it it's been a while but i know you've covered 00:59:46.750 --> 01:00:20.309 them a few times yeah his family they trust each 01:00:20.309 --> 01:00:22.750 other that's all they know i know it's a real 01:00:22.750 --> 01:00:31.530 gate yanked you know yep yeah uh thank you rob 01:00:31.530 --> 01:00:35.969 uh very much appreciate that uh you want to take 01:00:35.969 --> 01:00:38.730 our second break and i've got a story here with 01:00:38.730 --> 01:00:43.670 a jeffy x uh list sound good all right we shall 01:00:43.670 --> 01:00:50.679 return here in a few minutes thoughts with mark 01:00:50.679 --> 01:00:59.079 if i were floating in outer space if i was to 01:00:59.079 --> 01:01:02.780 paddle my arms and legs would i float faster 01:01:02.780 --> 01:01:12.579 i may never know our constant pursuit for a real 01:01:12.579 --> 01:01:16.039 knee slapper it's strange insults from an alien 01:01:16.039 --> 01:01:21.630 real hilarity Mashed potatoes. Be lumpy, runny, 01:01:21.630 --> 01:01:25.989 and not flavorful. Oh man, what the fuck is this? 01:01:26.010 --> 01:01:30.190 Is this a new feature? What's inside Mark's head? 01:01:32.250 --> 01:01:35.710 Sounds stupid to me. If you took my first name 01:01:35.710 --> 01:01:41.329 backwards, it would read as Cram. Hey everybody, 01:01:41.610 --> 01:01:44.789 this is Uncle Rob. I'm gonna give you some tips 01:01:44.789 --> 01:01:55.420 for life. The title of a kick in someone else's 01:01:55.420 --> 01:01:58.780 name, as long as you get busted, is not yours. 01:01:59.739 --> 01:02:04.400 Rule number two, shoot angles complementary to 01:02:04.400 --> 01:02:10.820 your length and girth. Rule number four, no propping 01:02:10.820 --> 01:02:18.059 of the leg. Absolutely no undercarriage. Very 01:02:18.059 --> 01:02:23.260 important. No one gives an ounce of shit what 01:02:23.260 --> 01:02:25.719 you had for breakfast. Not even the person on 01:02:25.719 --> 01:02:28.000 the other end. You look like a mentally slow 01:02:28.000 --> 01:02:30.460 driv yelling into thin air all through the store. 01:02:30.679 --> 01:02:33.139 I pray that Bluetooth shorts out and blows up 01:02:33.139 --> 01:02:35.980 your eardrums. What men consider self -centered 01:02:35.980 --> 01:02:38.800 dunce. Monty constantly coddled this dummy and 01:02:38.800 --> 01:02:41.079 it fucking shows. Go look back home and bore 01:02:41.079 --> 01:02:43.599 your dog. Wait, you probably forgot the thievin' 01:02:43.619 --> 01:02:45.340 because you're too busy looking in the mirror 01:02:45.340 --> 01:02:49.900 all day. Fuck off. And now we look in on the... 01:02:50.000 --> 01:02:52.380 adventures of the technical explanation guy. 01:03:16.139 --> 01:03:18.719 Slash was on Eddie Trunk's Trunk Nation the other 01:03:18.719 --> 01:03:21.030 day. Eddie asked Slash if they plan on doing 01:03:21.030 --> 01:03:24.389 any U .S. dates next year. Slash's reply was 01:03:24.389 --> 01:03:26.889 yes, we are doing a U .S. tour next year as well 01:03:26.889 --> 01:03:29.230 as another album. He said they have more than 01:03:29.230 --> 01:03:31.849 enough material for a full album. This is great 01:03:31.849 --> 01:03:34.170 news for all the Guns N' Roses fans, including 01:03:34.170 --> 01:03:37.690 myself. Sir, I see your qualifications here. 01:03:37.889 --> 01:03:40.150 May I ask some further questions that could help 01:03:40.150 --> 01:03:43.110 me determine your employment eligibility? Yes, 01:03:43.110 --> 01:03:45.969 sir. I'm ready. Well, as you can see here, we 01:03:45.969 --> 01:03:48.429 have a large population of different ethnic backgrounds, 01:03:48.730 --> 01:03:53.050 sexuality, and ages. Are you by chance bilingual? 01:03:53.690 --> 01:03:56.389 Well, sir, I'm not sure why you need that kind 01:03:56.389 --> 01:03:59.250 of information, but, well, it was only one time 01:03:59.250 --> 01:04:02.050 in summer camp. I considered it experimental. 01:04:15.309 --> 01:04:17.949 Two douchebags and microphone. I'm Mark here 01:04:17.949 --> 01:04:21.409 in the Kansas City area at the Talk is Cheap 01:04:21.409 --> 01:04:29.429 studio. And I am Rob in Wheatland, Missouri, 01:04:29.769 --> 01:04:35.889 home of the magnificent Lucas Oil Speedway and 01:04:35.889 --> 01:04:40.329 the douchebag mobile for the evening. It's like 01:04:40.329 --> 01:04:47.139 a Wi -Fi. There we go. I've got a story with 01:04:47.139 --> 01:04:49.800 the Jeffy X list, so let's go ahead and get to 01:04:49.800 --> 01:04:53.880 it. Johnsonville has a new Dr. Pepper flavor 01:04:53.880 --> 01:04:59.179 brat. I bet it's really good. It sounds good, 01:04:59.239 --> 01:05:03.579 doesn't it? I need to locate them at the store. 01:05:03.840 --> 01:05:06.860 Oh, wait a minute. Hey, looky. It's a Jeffy X 01:05:06.860 --> 01:05:10.659 list of brat flavors that have failed. How about 01:05:10.659 --> 01:05:15.460 that? I know, JVX, he always comes up with his 01:05:15.460 --> 01:05:18.420 stuff. He's awesome. He's our sleuth on a mission. 01:05:18.780 --> 01:05:22.800 He is constantly going in and finding these product 01:05:22.800 --> 01:05:26.880 trials and these focus panels. And he brings 01:05:26.880 --> 01:05:29.139 us back everything that's failed because he's 01:05:29.139 --> 01:05:32.539 that good. He has to go into skies. He's been 01:05:32.539 --> 01:05:35.619 shot at. He's been stabbed. He's been lit on 01:05:35.619 --> 01:05:37.900 fire. Everything. I mean, he's been through it 01:05:37.900 --> 01:05:41.659 all. And Rob loves him so much, and so do I. 01:05:41.719 --> 01:05:46.219 But Rob, who is an expert embroiderer, he embroidered 01:05:46.219 --> 01:05:49.159 him some Jeffy X underwear, Jeffy on the back, 01:05:49.199 --> 01:05:52.659 X on the front, with a pouch on the front of 01:05:52.659 --> 01:05:56.119 his underwear on the inside that they call a 01:05:56.119 --> 01:05:59.539 Stephen Piercy of the Glam Band Rat pouch. And 01:05:59.539 --> 01:06:01.340 that is to where you can put a couple of socks 01:06:01.340 --> 01:06:03.760 in there. Supposedly, Stephen Piercy used to 01:06:03.760 --> 01:06:06.420 do that to look better on stage, a little bit 01:06:06.420 --> 01:06:09.079 more bulky down there. But we're pretty sure 01:06:09.079 --> 01:06:10.960 Jeffy doesn't need it. But Rob went ahead and 01:06:10.960 --> 01:06:13.480 put that in there for him. He made him a flying 01:06:13.480 --> 01:06:16.059 bat suit, which got him out of some trouble because 01:06:16.059 --> 01:06:18.340 that's when he got lit on fire. And he jumped 01:06:18.340 --> 01:06:20.219 in the, you know, the flying bat suit got him 01:06:20.219 --> 01:06:23.019 out of there. And then, of course, the Sgt. Pepper 01:06:23.019 --> 01:06:25.420 outfit that he refuses to take off because he's 01:06:25.420 --> 01:06:28.340 a huge Beatles fan. And it was white, of course, 01:06:28.360 --> 01:06:30.860 looking like Sgt. Pepper's, you know, white suits 01:06:30.860 --> 01:06:33.420 that they wore on the album. But now it's black 01:06:33.420 --> 01:06:35.420 because he refused to take it off. But never 01:06:35.420 --> 01:06:38.800 fear. Rob has embroidered him seven, one for 01:06:38.800 --> 01:06:41.139 every day of the week so he can wash them starting 01:06:41.139 --> 01:06:46.579 after Christmas, right? Thank God I did it before 01:06:46.579 --> 01:06:50.860 I decided to get married. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, 01:06:50.960 --> 01:06:53.539 I've been busy since. Yeah, and Rob has some 01:06:53.539 --> 01:07:01.780 videos up. He is an expert embroiderer. Rob embroidered, 01:07:01.780 --> 01:07:04.400 he does this with his loincloth, and he can do 01:07:04.400 --> 01:07:07.099 it with his toes. He can embroider with his toes. 01:07:07.420 --> 01:07:10.039 But the thing is, is the video that he captured 01:07:10.039 --> 01:07:13.219 on YouTube, well, it got taken down because, 01:07:13.440 --> 01:07:16.159 well, let's just say it was a little drafty when 01:07:16.159 --> 01:07:20.559 he was doing that, right? Yeah. Yeah, that loincloth. 01:07:20.860 --> 01:07:26.250 Yeah, yeah. And the camera angle. And the camera 01:07:26.250 --> 01:07:28.349 angle, too. You didn't realize it was going to 01:07:28.349 --> 01:07:31.309 be that low. Yeah, so. They took it straight 01:07:31.309 --> 01:07:35.230 down. Yeah, yeah. I'm sorry. I tried. Yeah, so. 01:07:37.409 --> 01:07:40.050 Anyhow, and me, I'm a simple man. I gave him 01:07:40.050 --> 01:07:43.170 $2 ,500 to either buy something for his mom or 01:07:43.170 --> 01:07:45.409 hookers and blow, and I didn't ask him which 01:07:45.409 --> 01:07:49.940 he did. None of my business. All right, so. With 01:07:49.940 --> 01:07:52.559 a list of flavors of the new brat flavors that 01:07:52.559 --> 01:07:55.599 have failed is, the first one was Wasabi Mayo. 01:07:57.000 --> 01:07:58.960 I think that sounds good. What do you think? 01:08:00.800 --> 01:08:04.239 Sounds good to me. Yeah. Oh, I don't know what 01:08:04.239 --> 01:08:06.199 they're freaking out about. Wasabi Mayo sounds 01:08:06.199 --> 01:08:12.559 great on a brat. Or in a brat. SpaghettiOs? Didn't 01:08:12.559 --> 01:08:15.679 go over well. Who doesn't love the chef? He's 01:08:15.679 --> 01:08:19.649 the chef. Oh, come on. The Chef Boyardee. The 01:08:19.649 --> 01:08:26.170 best chef ever. He's got to be great. Yeah. I 01:08:26.170 --> 01:08:31.369 mean, he's got it. Yeah. Could you imagine? Yeah. 01:08:31.470 --> 01:08:34.130 And he's the greatest chef ever because look 01:08:34.130 --> 01:08:39.310 at how fat he is. Right? Only good chefs are 01:08:39.310 --> 01:08:41.989 fat because they eat their own food. Skinny chefs 01:08:41.989 --> 01:08:45.270 never trust him. It's bullshit. There's no such 01:08:45.270 --> 01:08:48.710 thing as a skinny good chef. All right. Next 01:08:48.710 --> 01:08:54.390 one. Cotton candy brat. Yeah, I think I'd have 01:08:54.390 --> 01:08:57.529 to agree. Yeah, they got us on that one. All 01:08:57.529 --> 01:09:01.130 right, they won that one. The next one, I think 01:09:01.130 --> 01:09:03.609 I'm going to have to say a solid no to, but I'll 01:09:03.609 --> 01:09:10.369 listen to what you have to say. Gummy worm. No. 01:09:10.569 --> 01:09:15.989 Yeah, I'm saying no. No. Brats are not meant 01:09:15.989 --> 01:09:21.060 to be chewy. No, no. No, I agree 100%. Thank 01:09:21.060 --> 01:09:24.100 you, Rob, for backing me up. The next one would 01:09:24.100 --> 01:09:29.500 be maple syrup and marshmallow brat flavor. I 01:09:29.500 --> 01:09:33.239 don't know. That might be good. Maple. Yeah, 01:09:33.279 --> 01:09:37.859 that might be. Definitely a maple syrup. Yeah. 01:09:39.859 --> 01:09:43.100 Marshmallow. I don't know. The marshmallows. 01:09:43.699 --> 01:09:46.760 It might. It might very well with that salty. 01:09:47.100 --> 01:09:50.600 Right. The sweet and the salty just might kick 01:09:50.600 --> 01:09:55.600 it off perfectly. Exactly. The next one, I'm 01:09:55.600 --> 01:09:57.579 going to have to agree with this because I cannot 01:09:57.579 --> 01:10:00.859 stand fish. I detest fish, especially seafood. 01:10:01.560 --> 01:10:07.020 Tuna casserole brat. You too? You agree with 01:10:07.020 --> 01:10:10.640 that? Yeah. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That is not, 01:10:10.739 --> 01:10:15.560 no. That doesn't register on my anything. That's 01:10:15.560 --> 01:10:18.079 not anything. It's not food. It's nothing. Tuna 01:10:18.079 --> 01:10:22.720 casserole brat should be banned forever. The 01:10:22.720 --> 01:10:27.560 next one would be pickled egg. Yeah, I think 01:10:27.560 --> 01:10:32.880 I'd have to agree with that one, too. Yeah. The 01:10:32.880 --> 01:10:34.739 next one, this goes in line with what I said 01:10:34.739 --> 01:10:41.000 before. All right. Pickled egg. Oh, no, no, no. 01:10:41.399 --> 01:10:46.739 Sardine and mustard sauce. Sorry. I agree. Nope. 01:10:47.199 --> 01:10:52.899 Nope. The next one. Oh, I really agree with this 01:10:52.899 --> 01:10:55.960 one. This is a solid note for me. Clam chowder 01:10:55.960 --> 01:11:04.760 brat. I agree. And then pumpkin spice latte brat. 01:11:06.720 --> 01:11:09.840 Depends. I mean, sometimes you're in the mood 01:11:09.840 --> 01:11:15.060 for coffee and a brat, right? You can mix them 01:11:15.060 --> 01:11:17.180 all, right? It doesn't matter that much, does 01:11:17.180 --> 01:11:19.960 it? I mean, just as long as, you know, they do 01:11:19.960 --> 01:11:23.819 the latte and they don't, like, grind up brat 01:11:23.819 --> 01:11:26.260 and throw it in your latte drink. I think that 01:11:26.260 --> 01:11:28.699 would suck. But other than that, yeah, you know. 01:11:29.060 --> 01:11:31.380 But I think if it's a brat and it has pumpkin 01:11:31.380 --> 01:11:33.979 spice latte in it, I think you're fine. What 01:11:33.979 --> 01:11:40.000 do you think? You know what? There's too many 01:11:40.000 --> 01:11:43.800 other things to eat. Fuck it. No. How about a 01:11:43.800 --> 01:11:48.920 peanut butter brat? That could be interesting. 01:11:49.100 --> 01:11:52.039 That could be good or horrible. You'd have to 01:11:52.039 --> 01:11:55.119 try it. Yeah, it could be good or horrible. Yeah, 01:11:55.119 --> 01:11:58.659 that's kind of like a, hmm. It's suspect. Might 01:11:58.659 --> 01:12:03.560 be good, might not. Suspect at best, as you say. 01:12:04.279 --> 01:12:09.090 Yeah, yes. A sushi brat, I think. I'd have to 01:12:09.090 --> 01:12:12.390 agree with that 100%. No, no. Yep, keep that 01:12:12.390 --> 01:12:17.130 away from me. No sushi brat here. And then finally, 01:12:17.369 --> 01:12:21.029 a kombucha fermented brat. Have you ever had 01:12:21.029 --> 01:12:24.069 or smelled kombucha? No, no. Yeah, yeah, yeah, 01:12:24.069 --> 01:12:28.930 yeah. Kombucha, no. No, thank you. Jeffy X, thank 01:12:28.930 --> 01:12:31.250 you very much. We appreciate that list. We thank 01:12:31.250 --> 01:12:34.210 you for risking your life once again. We understand 01:12:34.210 --> 01:12:37.229 that they... that they tore your toenails off 01:12:37.229 --> 01:12:39.510 this time, and we're very sorry about that. They're 01:12:39.510 --> 01:12:42.250 starting to grow back. So that's the good news. 01:12:42.390 --> 01:12:46.229 The bad news is they took, you know, they call 01:12:46.229 --> 01:12:48.710 them dykes, those little clippers, and they tore 01:12:48.710 --> 01:12:54.050 off every one of his toenails to torture him. 01:12:54.130 --> 01:12:58.090 Yeah, yeah, it was bad. I feel bad. I know, I 01:12:58.090 --> 01:13:00.489 know. He does this for us. He's such a good guy. 01:13:00.710 --> 01:13:08.590 Well, I may make him special. Yeah, yeah. I sent 01:13:08.590 --> 01:13:15.890 him a bunch of... That's a great idea. I sent 01:13:15.890 --> 01:13:20.949 him toe thimbles. You put them over your toes. 01:13:22.930 --> 01:13:27.409 Yeah, yeah. So they'll grow back. He's taping 01:13:27.409 --> 01:13:30.890 them over his toes right now to protect how tender 01:13:30.890 --> 01:13:33.970 it is when you lose a toenail. Yeah, so hopefully 01:13:33.970 --> 01:13:41.479 that works. okay that'll work that sounds good 01:13:41.479 --> 01:13:44.420 um just that first thing i didn't realize that 01:13:44.420 --> 01:13:46.359 i was drinking shots out of those thimbles and 01:13:46.359 --> 01:13:48.319 that alcohol burned him pretty good at first 01:13:48.319 --> 01:13:52.260 i didn't realize you know the other day i was 01:13:52.260 --> 01:13:54.460 drinking jack out of those thimbles and i didn't 01:13:54.460 --> 01:13:56.640 even think about it you know and today i gave 01:13:56.640 --> 01:13:59.359 them to him to put on and well it stung a little 01:13:59.359 --> 01:14:12.270 it stung a little True. Good point. That would 01:14:12.270 --> 01:14:15.609 be sterilizing. You're right, Rob. Good point. 01:14:15.750 --> 01:14:19.329 Good point. All right. Do you have anything you 01:14:19.329 --> 01:14:23.489 want? I'm reaching, dude. It's been a very long 01:14:23.489 --> 01:14:28.130 week. A long weekend. I'm reaching. Rob, I'm 01:14:28.130 --> 01:14:32.609 telling you. I'm fighting to finish this. Like 01:14:32.609 --> 01:14:36.189 I said, I'm sitting in the truck, dude. This 01:14:36.189 --> 01:14:46.340 is heat service. I got a request. I forgot. I 01:14:46.340 --> 01:14:49.979 just found this right here on my computer. It 01:14:49.979 --> 01:14:54.359 was actually an email. Okay. Someone's bitching 01:14:54.359 --> 01:14:56.840 because we do not include Lick Skillet, Missouri. 01:14:57.180 --> 01:15:09.239 I looked it up, and yes, it is a town. Yeah, 01:15:09.340 --> 01:15:12.779 I looked it up. It's true. It is a town in Missouri. 01:15:12.800 --> 01:15:18.180 It's called Lickskillet. Yeah, I just never thought 01:15:18.180 --> 01:15:21.539 about it or ran into it or whatever. So I cannot 01:15:21.539 --> 01:15:25.100 remember the person's name because I had it jotted 01:15:25.100 --> 01:15:28.220 down on my computer, but I forgot to put the 01:15:28.220 --> 01:15:39.319 name. So whoever you are, thank you. Yeah, that's 01:15:39.319 --> 01:15:42.340 going to have to... You cannot take it from my 01:15:42.340 --> 01:15:45.600 blade. No, no. Lick skillet will do the second. 01:15:45.699 --> 01:15:50.000 Yeah, number two. Yeah, number two. And I'm going 01:15:50.000 --> 01:15:52.560 to have to redo the douchebag pledge and all 01:15:52.560 --> 01:15:54.680 that. So give me a little bit, okay? I really 01:15:54.680 --> 01:15:57.260 like the new one. So, I mean, you know... We 01:15:57.260 --> 01:16:00.319 are going into the holiday season. Maybe I'll 01:16:00.319 --> 01:16:01.960 do it the first of the year. I'm going to be 01:16:01.960 --> 01:16:05.000 busy. The first of the year, I want to... I want 01:16:05.000 --> 01:16:07.079 to, like, shuffle some things around anyhow the 01:16:07.079 --> 01:16:09.319 first of the year, so we'll see. I'll talk to 01:16:09.319 --> 01:16:13.420 you about it later, not on the podcast. All right. 01:16:13.420 --> 01:16:15.920 All right, Rob, it's 9 .09. You've been the one, 01:16:15.979 --> 01:16:20.840 well, today I had a rough day at work, but you're 01:16:20.840 --> 01:16:22.659 the one that's got all these hours going on and 01:16:22.659 --> 01:16:25.140 marriage and moving and all that, so do you want 01:16:25.140 --> 01:16:26.720 to keep going? You got something you want to 01:16:26.720 --> 01:16:28.159 talk about, or do you want to go ahead and cut 01:16:28.159 --> 01:16:31.199 it? I think you're reading my mind, brother. 01:16:31.859 --> 01:16:38.390 All right. Okay. You know, I'm wore out. I told 01:16:38.390 --> 01:16:43.409 you about my battle scars this weekend. I'm hurting. 01:16:43.590 --> 01:16:46.189 I'm sending it. Yeah, I need to go lay in bed. 01:16:46.850 --> 01:16:52.649 Oh, yeah. Oh, Jimmy is requesting prayers for 01:16:52.649 --> 01:16:57.090 Grandma Opal. He has not relayed what's going 01:16:57.090 --> 01:17:01.170 on. I'm pretty worried about her. We love you, 01:17:01.189 --> 01:17:04.909 Grandma Opal. You got prayers coming from us. 01:17:05.470 --> 01:17:08.250 What a wonderful woman. We love you. Get better. 01:17:08.369 --> 01:17:10.770 We want you to listen to every podcast we ever 01:17:10.770 --> 01:17:13.170 do. And that's going to be like for the next 01:17:13.170 --> 01:17:18.550 hundred years, right? Very much so. Yes. So, 01:17:18.550 --> 01:17:21.270 all right. At least that's what I got scheduled. 01:17:21.789 --> 01:17:25.770 Yep. Hi, Hicksville. Hi, Tucson. No, Albuquerque, 01:17:25.890 --> 01:17:33.949 Lick Skillet, Knob Lick, all that. anyhow Uranus 01:17:33.949 --> 01:17:40.069 alright thank you all for listening I'm just 01:17:40.069 --> 01:17:42.670 I'm off of it today I come in here with all this 01:17:42.670 --> 01:17:45.529 energy and now I'm fucking flat I'm just yeah 01:17:45.529 --> 01:17:53.210 I come in to the podcast I have all this energy 01:17:53.210 --> 01:17:56.529 now that I'm just sitting here dude I'm going 01:17:56.529 --> 01:18:01.460 down quick me too All right, anyhow, good night, 01:18:01.560 --> 01:18:07.840 assholes. Good night, assholes. Oh, no. Looks 01:18:07.840 --> 01:18:10.680 like the show's over, kids. Mark has explosive 01:18:10.680 --> 01:18:14.359 diarrhea and can't afford a wireless mic. Fear 01:18:14.359 --> 01:18:16.760 not, assholes. They'll be back invading your 01:18:16.760 --> 01:18:17.560 ear holes soon.