WEBVTT

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Welcome again. We're happy you chose us. Come

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on in. Wash yourself off. Would you enjoy a bourbon

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and coke? There's a liquor store down the road.

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If you go, I need rolling papers. Well, since

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you're here, let's get this daily douchebag pledge

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out of the way. All right, bitches, swing your

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hips and pelvic thrust. Shout it out with me.

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I, Joe or Jane Listener, promise to download

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every podcast. I, Joe or Jane Listener, promise

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to make... All friends, family members, and workmates

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download the show. I, Joe or Jane Listener, promise

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to grab idle computers, work computers, friends

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computers, community computers, and other assorted

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phones and listening devices and download the

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show from there. I, Joe or Jane Listener, will

00:01:21.670 --> 00:01:24.329
download the show and constantly barrage everyone

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with show name and platforms. I, Joe or Jane

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Listener, promise to wear a chicken costume and

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screen the show's name from my front yard. And

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finally, because of our 13 -year -old boy humor,

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you must go to Knobloch Cooter Licking in Uranus,

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Missouri to take selfies with the signs. If you

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go to Uranus, go to the fudge factory. Yes, there's

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a fudge factory in Uranus. No joke. Here at Two

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Douchebags and a Microphone, we don't stand behind

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our journalistic integrity. Go ahead and assume

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we got the story wrong. At least we admit it.

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Not like all those other guys. We can and will

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lie if it makes the story better. Slash was on

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Eddie Trunk's Trunk Nation the other day. Eddie

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asked Slash if they plan on doing any U .S. dates

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next year. Slash's reply was, yes, we are doing

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a U .S. tour next year as well as another album.

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He said they have more than enough material for

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a full album. This is great news for all the

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Guns N' Roses fans, including myself. Two monkey

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fuckers and a toaster will be right back. All

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aware of the Amber Alert, right? Well, get rid

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of your disinfectants and rubber bedspreads,

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kids. It's the all -new Amber Herd Alert system.

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This fantastic early warning device helps one

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stay dry and rid of all those annoying mattress

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invoices. Simply hook up to Child Under Six or

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Psychopath and wait for the running water sound.

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This clever machine has three distinct settings,

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babbling brook, ocean waves, and roaring river

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for those close calls. Order today and get a

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free Cinnabon re -music cartridge. Hey look,

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I think we found land. Oh my god, I think we're

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safe. Oh no, it's the island of horrible jokes.

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A steamed veggie. Please remember to go to Cole's

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dressing room, wait five minutes, and scream,

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Hey, there's no toilet paper in here! Two douchebags,

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a microphone, and an effort to keep everything

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fresh. We offer you... First world problems.

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Damn it. The city services website is down again.

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I can't believe this. I'm going to have to actually

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call and talk to someone to pay my damn trash

00:04:15.689 --> 00:04:20.529
bill. This is ridiculous. People often ask, how

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do we cram so much money into one little show?

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Well, it's simple. We buy funny in bulk on the

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Internet. Hey, Mark, you're wanted at the front

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door. There's a big bag of funny they need you

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to sign for. Okay, thanks a lot. I'll be right

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there. I'm still sorting out the funny we got

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from yesterday. There's your answer. We buy funny

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in bulk on the internet. Hey there, fuckstick.

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You're just in time for brand new feature news

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nobody gives a shit about. A store in Amsterdam

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has a glass blowing kit for people that want

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to make their own bongs. Our constant pursuit

00:04:59.980 --> 00:05:03.750
for a real knee slapper. It's strange insults

00:05:03.750 --> 00:05:08.470
from an alien. Real hilarity. May every time

00:05:08.470 --> 00:05:15.970
you put on latex gloves, your hands be wet. Hey,

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if you're a fan of paying way too much for trinkets

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and food, well, your wish is coming true. Han

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City International Airport guest pass program

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is starting today. Yes, you too could overspend

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on workless trinkets and $15 cups of coffee.

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You want to buy a $50 cheap T -shirt that has

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KC Western Auto Building image on it? We got

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you covered. Want a barbecue sauce gift pack?

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No problem. Just a mere $40 on your first born.

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Hurry. You know rubes are jumping all over to

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get to this complete ripoff. Because people are

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sheep. Two douchebags and microphone. I'm Mark

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here in the Kansas City area at the Talk is Cheap

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studio. All right, well, rest your voice. We'll

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get to you here in a little bit. I've got a little

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update. I'm here, though. I'm here. And we appreciate

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it, Rob. I've got a little update on something

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we did about a month ago, okay? I got a return

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letter from the Detroit Lions, Rob. You got what?

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I got a return letter from the Detroit Lions.

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Remember I sent Brian Branch? Did you really?

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Yes, I did. We were kind enough to send Brian

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Branch, the Detroit Lions, a get well soon card.

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He was whining about the Chiefs bullying him.

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So, you know, which meant this was like a month

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or so, probably over a month ago. Brian Branch

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is a defensive back, which makes his complaint

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even more egregious. A big, bad D -back getting

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bullied by a running back or a receiver. It doesn't

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make sense. D -backs are huge, right? He was

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getting bullied by a little bitty running back

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or a skinny little receiver. So, I'm going to

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go ahead and read the letter now, okay? It says...

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Hang on, where the hell... Sorry. Man, I hate

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it when I do this. I'm unprepared. Okay, here

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it is. Okay. Oh, you and me both, dude. Dear

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Fanbase, what a way to greet somebody. They called

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me Fanbase. Dear fan base, we appreciate you

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reaching out and sending the kind words. The

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staff at our office will make sure that the player

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this is addressed to will receive your wonderful

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wishes. We encourage dialogue between our loyal

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fans and the players. We all wish you a safe

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and joyous holiday season. Best regards to all.

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the Detroit Lions organization. Go to DetroitLionsFootball

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.com for all your swag, drip, and paraphernalia

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needs. Yes, please do. They replied. They replied

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to us. Thank you. Yeah, yeah. Somebody heard

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us. Go there and buy a handkerchief or some bullshit.

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I could not believe they replied. I was like,

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I see it in the mail. I'm like, what? I'm going

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to post it a little bit later. I haven't had

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a chance to yet. So I got to give them credit.

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That was pretty cool, wasn't it? Yeah. So I thought

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this was a clever message to Lions. And for them

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to respond is pretty awesome, really. I mean,

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even if they didn't understand that it was a

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jab at their player, they probably didn't look

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at it. I bet you they didn't. They probably just

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saw it and, like, sent it his way. They probably

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didn't open it up, I imagine. They're probably

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like, well, it's private, okay. So, you know,

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maybe Brian Branch will have something to say

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back. Our names are on it. Me and your names.

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My address. I even have my phone number on there

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in case he wants to call me and tell me to fuck

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off. I thought that was only fair, right? Yeah,

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so, I doubt if he will, but if he does, I will

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damn sure make sure it's recorded. Because you

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can do that. If someone calls you, you can record

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it and you can play it anywhere on airwaves,

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on podcasts, anything, and it's legal. You can't

00:09:58.490 --> 00:10:01.590
call them and record it and then play it. But

00:10:01.590 --> 00:10:03.669
if they call you, you can do that. So if he calls

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me, it's on. But I doubt he does that. So they

00:10:08.340 --> 00:10:11.100
were cooler than a friend of mine that seems

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to have issues with a card, I guess. So, you

00:10:15.080 --> 00:10:17.720
know, a friend of ours, you know, he's a mutual

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friend. He seems to have issues with a card,

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I guess. You know, I posted it on. Yeah, yeah,

00:10:23.379 --> 00:10:26.059
it's interesting because I posted it. I didn't

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talk about this before, but then I thought, you

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know, I got a return card, so I'm going to talk

00:10:29.960 --> 00:10:32.299
about it now a little bit, but I'll go into it

00:10:32.299 --> 00:10:34.720
here. You know, I posted on Facebook that I sent

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a card to Lions Branch. A said friend had a comment

00:10:39.110 --> 00:10:43.929
to me on that post. This is what it read. I hope

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you get better. I know you're not sick. Just

00:10:46.629 --> 00:10:52.370
get better. Okay. Oh, shit. Yeah, yeah. That's

00:10:52.370 --> 00:10:54.870
kind of a shitty statement, isn't it? You know?

00:10:58.090 --> 00:11:02.049
Let's put this in perspective, okay? I don't

00:11:02.049 --> 00:11:05.220
believe in Scientology in the least, right? But

00:11:05.220 --> 00:11:08.019
I will not actively, I won't actively go tell

00:11:08.019 --> 00:11:10.820
them it's a fraud. You know, it's a huge bowl

00:11:10.820 --> 00:11:14.179
in none of my fucking business, right? Right.

00:11:14.500 --> 00:11:18.659
Yeah. You know, I'm not mad at him. I still love

00:11:18.659 --> 00:11:22.779
him. But this wasn't... I think he just said

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it because it was to us. Well, I sent a reply

00:11:28.700 --> 00:11:35.799
going, please explain, and he never did. That's

00:11:35.799 --> 00:11:38.080
what got me. If it was meant any other way, you

00:11:38.080 --> 00:11:39.279
probably would have been like, oh, yeah, yeah,

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I didn't mean anything. Especially out of him,

00:11:41.700 --> 00:11:44.059
you would take him alive. Yeah, yeah, like I

00:11:44.059 --> 00:11:46.059
said, I still love the guy. It's okay. I'm just

00:11:46.059 --> 00:11:49.519
a little perplexed. I always will. Yeah, yeah,

00:11:49.620 --> 00:11:51.700
I still love the guy. I've known him a long,

00:11:51.779 --> 00:11:55.019
long time, so have you. He's a great guy. I love

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the whole family. I do, too. It's like you're

00:11:57.360 --> 00:12:00.679
a family. Yeah. Yeah, they're great people, but

00:12:00.679 --> 00:12:02.620
this wasn't a deal breaker. I'm just a little

00:12:02.620 --> 00:12:04.759
perplexed at why one would go out of their way

00:12:04.759 --> 00:12:08.519
to try to cut us down like that. I mean, and

00:12:08.519 --> 00:12:12.740
you know... Please explain yourself. Well, he

00:12:12.740 --> 00:12:14.519
never did. I gave him that opportunity, which

00:12:14.519 --> 00:12:18.100
leads to me like he did mean it derogatory. And

00:12:18.100 --> 00:12:20.840
what do you do when you say something, but you

00:12:20.840 --> 00:12:22.899
don't really have anything to back it up or a

00:12:22.899 --> 00:12:25.980
reason to say it? You ignore it. And that's why

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I choose, that's why I look at it. I don't see

00:12:28.480 --> 00:12:30.980
why else you would. Oh, go ahead. I haven't seen

00:12:30.980 --> 00:12:34.179
him in like 35, 40 years. I haven't seen him

00:12:34.179 --> 00:12:36.039
in a long time either. I saw him at Walmart one

00:12:36.039 --> 00:12:38.340
time, and he was very nice, like always. And

00:12:38.340 --> 00:12:41.360
like I said, I love the guy. I just don't understand

00:12:41.360 --> 00:12:44.399
what the purpose. I don't understand the purpose

00:12:44.399 --> 00:12:46.360
of something like this, especially when you're

00:12:46.360 --> 00:12:49.120
a friend with somebody. You know this tear someone

00:12:49.120 --> 00:12:54.639
down? If you don't like the program, don't download

00:12:54.639 --> 00:12:59.659
it. Simple. You don't have to actively make a

00:12:59.659 --> 00:13:02.659
snide comment about it. I don't get that. You

00:13:02.659 --> 00:13:04.899
know, and look, I'm not trying to make fun of

00:13:04.899 --> 00:13:06.860
him or nothing. I love the guy, like I said,

00:13:06.899 --> 00:13:11.019
and I always will. Yeah, I always will love the

00:13:11.019 --> 00:13:16.659
guy. Yeah, he's a great guy, and I still consider

00:13:16.659 --> 00:13:19.399
him a great friend. But, you know, if you listen

00:13:19.399 --> 00:13:21.279
to this, which it doesn't sound like you do,

00:13:21.440 --> 00:13:24.620
but if you listen to this, just think about what

00:13:24.620 --> 00:13:28.029
you're saying, okay? This is our art. This is

00:13:28.029 --> 00:13:31.049
Rob and I's art. You know, I won't come to your

00:13:31.049 --> 00:13:32.750
house and, like, let's say you're doing a painting.

00:13:32.789 --> 00:13:36.809
I go, oh, that's not very good. You don't do

00:13:36.809 --> 00:13:40.529
that. And why, you know, one of the things wrong

00:13:40.529 --> 00:13:43.590
with the world. Yes. One of the things that's

00:13:43.590 --> 00:13:48.519
wrong with this world is people doing that. We

00:13:48.519 --> 00:13:51.039
forgot to encourage people to be better instead

00:13:51.039 --> 00:13:53.440
of just tearing them down automatically. It's

00:13:53.440 --> 00:13:56.360
a huge problem we have here in America. We need

00:13:56.360 --> 00:13:59.759
to lift and support each other up. And this is

00:13:59.759 --> 00:14:02.519
a great example of that. I'm not making fun of

00:14:02.519 --> 00:14:06.019
you. I'm not making fun of you. Like I said,

00:14:06.019 --> 00:14:10.399
I love you. But if you listen to this, just think

00:14:10.399 --> 00:14:12.500
about it, okay? And think about how it looks.

00:14:13.159 --> 00:14:15.220
And think about what you're really saying when

00:14:15.220 --> 00:14:17.039
you do something like this, okay? That's all

00:14:17.039 --> 00:14:20.539
I'm saying. So, love you. Hope everything's great.

00:14:20.779 --> 00:14:24.320
Hope all is well. I hope your family's healthy.

00:14:24.679 --> 00:14:27.220
I hope everyone's safe and happy. I hope you

00:14:27.220 --> 00:14:29.919
have a warm house and food in your stomach, you

00:14:29.919 --> 00:14:33.779
know, all this stuff. Nothing but love, but kind

00:14:33.779 --> 00:14:35.899
of watch the comments. Come on now, you know?

00:14:36.460 --> 00:14:41.299
So, anyhow, I miss the days when no one felt

00:14:41.299 --> 00:14:45.590
the need to exercise their opinion constantly.

00:14:45.950 --> 00:14:47.730
You know what I mean? That's something about

00:14:47.730 --> 00:14:51.190
social media is everybody has a platform and

00:14:51.190 --> 00:14:54.690
they're going to use it. They're going to make

00:14:54.690 --> 00:14:57.169
damn sure because they never had a voice. I'm

00:14:57.169 --> 00:15:00.509
not talking about this person. No, no, no. This

00:15:00.509 --> 00:15:06.070
is in general. I know where you're going. Because

00:15:06.070 --> 00:15:08.090
they've never had a voice ever before in their

00:15:08.090 --> 00:15:10.870
whole life. Now they have somewhat of a platform.

00:15:11.070 --> 00:15:13.509
They're going to go crazy. And they're going

00:15:13.509 --> 00:15:15.190
to elaborate on everything. They're going to

00:15:15.190 --> 00:15:16.710
make a comment on everything. They're going to

00:15:16.710 --> 00:15:19.330
point their finger at everything. It's really

00:15:19.330 --> 00:15:23.350
ridiculous. And trust and believe, our friend

00:15:23.350 --> 00:15:26.309
has always had a voice. So, yeah, we're not worried

00:15:26.309 --> 00:15:28.389
about that. No, no, no. We love him. There's

00:15:28.389 --> 00:15:31.350
no ill feelings. I'm just trying to state something

00:15:31.350 --> 00:15:33.779
that I... Yeah, and I wasn't even going to talk

00:15:33.779 --> 00:15:36.139
about it, but when I got the reply letter, I'm

00:15:36.139 --> 00:15:37.159
like, you know what, I'm going to talk about

00:15:37.159 --> 00:15:39.259
it anyhow. So I'll go into it a little bit. Like

00:15:39.259 --> 00:15:40.899
I said, I'm not dogging the guy. I love him.

00:15:40.940 --> 00:15:43.659
You love him and all that. But I'm going to end

00:15:43.659 --> 00:15:46.740
it right here, this conversation about this.

00:15:47.779 --> 00:15:50.139
Opinions are like assholes. We all have one,

00:15:50.220 --> 00:15:54.840
and they all fucking stink. Oh, God, that is

00:15:54.840 --> 00:16:00.250
the ultimate response right there. Yeah. Yeah,

00:16:00.309 --> 00:16:02.490
and think about that next time you have something

00:16:02.490 --> 00:16:04.769
to say or a little jab at somebody or try to

00:16:04.769 --> 00:16:06.789
tear somebody down. I'm not talking about the

00:16:06.789 --> 00:16:09.909
certain person. I'm talking about anybody. Yeah,

00:16:09.909 --> 00:16:12.409
anybody. We all have opinions. It's easy to come

00:16:12.409 --> 00:16:17.590
up with one. What's not easy to do is to politely

00:16:17.590 --> 00:16:22.809
back it up. And, you know, and actually the best

00:16:22.809 --> 00:16:24.909
thing to do is just if you don't like something,

00:16:25.009 --> 00:16:28.929
move on. Move on. There's everything else going

00:16:28.929 --> 00:16:30.950
on in the world. You know, there are so many

00:16:30.950 --> 00:16:33.149
other things to worry about except a fucking

00:16:33.149 --> 00:16:39.029
podcast. So, all right. It's hot tub time. So

00:16:39.029 --> 00:16:41.629
I had to fill up the hot tub and put in the chemicals

00:16:41.629 --> 00:16:44.230
a couple of days ago. So I was in the middle

00:16:44.230 --> 00:16:47.009
of cleaning it, and I see a huge pile of black

00:16:47.009 --> 00:16:50.049
something over near the filter, right? It's just,

00:16:50.090 --> 00:16:53.049
it looked like black tar. But I notice it's moving.

00:16:53.110 --> 00:16:56.029
I'm like, what? So I walk over, well, I didn't

00:16:56.029 --> 00:16:58.809
walk over there. I kind of like scooted over

00:16:58.809 --> 00:17:00.549
there because I'm actually in the hot tub. I'm

00:17:00.549 --> 00:17:02.669
bailing out the little bit of water that seeped

00:17:02.669 --> 00:17:06.430
in when I forgot to cover it up, put the cover

00:17:06.430 --> 00:17:08.650
back on and all that. So I'm bailing out that

00:17:08.650 --> 00:17:11.069
old rainwater that stunk like hell and all that.

00:17:11.109 --> 00:17:12.769
And I look over there and I'm like, what is that

00:17:12.769 --> 00:17:16.730
black blob moving? Well, it was a pile of black

00:17:16.730 --> 00:17:19.410
ants running all around near the filter. I don't

00:17:19.410 --> 00:17:22.630
know what it was. I don't know what could have

00:17:22.630 --> 00:17:25.210
got trapped under there, you know, like some

00:17:25.210 --> 00:17:28.230
sort of sugary substance or something. But it's

00:17:28.230 --> 00:17:33.690
a huge blob of them. So I get the inside clean

00:17:33.690 --> 00:17:36.289
when I was getting out of the tub, and I look

00:17:36.289 --> 00:17:39.170
down, thankfully, right? And you know what likes

00:17:39.170 --> 00:17:41.210
to dine on ants, Rob? You would probably know

00:17:41.210 --> 00:17:43.349
this because you've lived in Missouri your whole

00:17:43.349 --> 00:17:48.450
life, right? Brown recluses. Brown recluses.

00:17:48.450 --> 00:17:51.859
Yes. Yes. They dine on black ants. They love

00:17:51.859 --> 00:17:54.759
them. If you ever see one of their webs, it's

00:17:54.759 --> 00:17:57.059
full of black ants. I mean, that is like their

00:17:57.059 --> 00:18:00.619
go -to meal. So, you know, that being said, there's

00:18:00.619 --> 00:18:04.140
all these black ants. Well, I wiped out the ants,

00:18:04.259 --> 00:18:05.880
and I was getting out, and I almost stuck my

00:18:05.880 --> 00:18:08.680
hand in a nest of these brown recluse spiders.

00:18:09.519 --> 00:18:12.259
You know, and I'm glad I looked down. Otherwise,

00:18:12.420 --> 00:18:15.210
I would have put my palm right on it. So, and

00:18:15.210 --> 00:18:17.390
it probably wouldn't kill you, but damn, they

00:18:17.390 --> 00:18:20.349
make you feel bad. And they can kill you. I remind

00:18:20.349 --> 00:18:23.069
you, the guitarist of Slayer was killed by a

00:18:23.069 --> 00:18:30.490
brown recluse spider because he got sepsis, a

00:18:30.490 --> 00:18:34.069
blood infection, from the spider bite. And it

00:18:34.069 --> 00:18:37.369
killed him. It can kill you, but generally it

00:18:37.369 --> 00:18:39.470
won't. If you know you have that bite and you

00:18:39.470 --> 00:18:42.990
go seek help immediately, you'll be okay. And

00:18:42.990 --> 00:18:44.950
yeah, your arm's going to throb. It's going to

00:18:44.950 --> 00:18:46.730
hurt. It's going to get big. It's going to get

00:18:46.730 --> 00:18:48.369
red and all that stuff. But you'll live if you're

00:18:48.369 --> 00:18:52.390
a healthy person. So anyhow, I saw it. So then

00:18:52.390 --> 00:18:54.930
the whole operation turned into a can of raid

00:18:54.930 --> 00:18:59.009
and vengeance. And look, I don't hate brown recluse

00:18:59.009 --> 00:19:01.549
fighters because they do a lot of good. They

00:19:01.549 --> 00:19:05.950
kill a lot of pests. And they are called recluse

00:19:05.950 --> 00:19:10.630
because they're docile. Don't kill me. Yeah,

00:19:10.630 --> 00:19:12.730
yeah, yeah. Well, the whole thing is, is it's

00:19:12.730 --> 00:19:14.190
a hot tub and we're going to be getting in and

00:19:14.190 --> 00:19:16.670
out of it. So I had to do something. I would

00:19:16.670 --> 00:19:18.730
have loved to taken all those little brown recluses

00:19:18.730 --> 00:19:20.710
and put them out in the yard somewhere and said,

00:19:20.750 --> 00:19:23.250
there you go, little guys. But it wasn't feasible.

00:19:23.769 --> 00:19:26.049
So I had to just like, kind of like, you know,

00:19:26.049 --> 00:19:28.109
shoot them with some raid and kill them all.

00:19:28.190 --> 00:19:30.349
And I, you know, I didn't particularly feel great

00:19:30.349 --> 00:19:33.470
about it, but I had to do it. And the thing about

00:19:33.470 --> 00:19:35.829
brown recluses is they're called recluses because

00:19:35.829 --> 00:19:38.390
they're docile. The only way they will sting

00:19:38.390 --> 00:19:41.839
you. The only way one will bite you is if you're

00:19:41.839 --> 00:19:43.960
getting ready to kill it. You put your hand on

00:19:43.960 --> 00:19:47.440
it, your foot on it. Other than that, they stay

00:19:47.440 --> 00:19:51.640
there. Yeah, and the same way with black widows,

00:19:51.640 --> 00:19:54.660
too. Both spider species are very misunderstood.

00:19:56.599 --> 00:20:00.019
They do not actively go after people. They just

00:20:00.019 --> 00:20:02.480
want to, well, black widows want to eat their

00:20:02.480 --> 00:20:04.779
mate after they mate with them. And then they

00:20:04.779 --> 00:20:06.779
just want to, like, have their babies and fucking

00:20:06.779 --> 00:20:10.819
eat, you know, catch flies and stuff and eat.

00:20:10.880 --> 00:20:12.559
You know, they're just living their life like

00:20:12.559 --> 00:20:17.059
we are, you know. And they don't want you around

00:20:17.059 --> 00:20:18.680
them, just like most snakes. They don't want

00:20:18.680 --> 00:20:20.759
you around them. They're like, they look at you

00:20:20.759 --> 00:20:23.019
like you look at them. Oh, there's a predator.

00:20:23.119 --> 00:20:25.880
I better stay away from it. You know, there are

00:20:25.880 --> 00:20:28.990
some snakes that are. very, you know, very aggressive.

00:20:29.369 --> 00:20:31.829
Like a cotton mouth is extremely aggressive.

00:20:32.210 --> 00:20:34.730
They have anger issues, cotton mouths, don't

00:20:34.730 --> 00:20:38.549
they? Yes. Yeah, they have anger issues. Very

00:20:38.549 --> 00:20:41.690
much so. Yeah, they see you and they're like,

00:20:41.769 --> 00:20:43.990
I want to kill that son of a bitch over there.

00:20:44.109 --> 00:20:46.490
I don't know why, but I want to kill him. They

00:20:46.490 --> 00:20:48.890
have a little bit of an attitude there. So, anyhow.

00:20:50.380 --> 00:20:52.599
So it turned into a can raid. But I want to go

00:20:52.599 --> 00:20:55.059
into something else here real quick. Next Thursday

00:20:55.059 --> 00:20:59.380
from the city market, it's Ramon. This guy has

00:20:59.380 --> 00:21:02.759
a very interesting story to tell. Ramon was in

00:21:02.759 --> 00:21:06.279
drug cartels, white -collar high corporate jobs,

00:21:06.539 --> 00:21:10.140
and white -collar high corporate crime. This

00:21:10.140 --> 00:21:13.380
guy is amazing. And you're going to have him

00:21:13.380 --> 00:21:16.859
on. Yes, he has a variety of other things going

00:21:16.859 --> 00:21:20.220
on. And I'm telling you. This guy is a perfect

00:21:20.220 --> 00:21:22.859
guest. I just gave him a little interview right

00:21:22.859 --> 00:21:25.319
there because he saw me writing down some stuff,

00:21:25.440 --> 00:21:27.980
and he'd come up there. Really nice guy. He goes,

00:21:28.039 --> 00:21:30.660
excuse me. He goes, do you mind if I ask you

00:21:30.660 --> 00:21:32.059
what you're doing? Because he sees me looking

00:21:32.059 --> 00:21:33.420
at stories and writing them down. I go, yeah.

00:21:33.480 --> 00:21:35.539
I go, I've got a podcast. Me and a friend of

00:21:35.539 --> 00:21:37.559
mine do, you know. Me and a couple of friends

00:21:37.559 --> 00:21:40.200
of mine do, actually. He goes, oh, really? He

00:21:40.200 --> 00:21:42.099
goes, are you the guys that I see every now and

00:21:42.099 --> 00:21:43.940
then? I go, yeah, one of them is that we're over

00:21:43.940 --> 00:21:45.420
there out there. He goes, yeah. He goes, I come

00:21:45.420 --> 00:21:48.000
here quite a bit. He goes, well, my name's Ramon.

00:21:48.430 --> 00:21:51.230
And then he told me his story. And I go, Ramon,

00:21:51.329 --> 00:21:53.849
I go, have you ever thought about being on a

00:21:53.849 --> 00:21:57.009
podcast and telling your story? He goes, yeah.

00:21:57.069 --> 00:22:00.549
He goes, no pictures. No pictures. I was like,

00:22:00.630 --> 00:22:04.430
okay. Yeah, no, I told him. I said, no video,

00:22:04.549 --> 00:22:09.049
no pictures. So I got to send him a text, and

00:22:09.049 --> 00:22:12.170
he is hopefully going to respond to me. Because

00:22:12.170 --> 00:22:14.210
he is really interested. If I had the equipment,

00:22:14.269 --> 00:22:16.069
I would have done it right there on the spot.

00:22:16.190 --> 00:22:18.809
But I didn't have the equipment to record. I

00:22:18.809 --> 00:22:20.950
wished I did. But he was wanting to do it right

00:22:20.950 --> 00:22:23.910
then. He goes, man, I got all these stories inside

00:22:23.910 --> 00:22:26.509
me. And he goes, I want to talk about it. He

00:22:26.509 --> 00:22:28.529
goes, I want to get it out. He goes, you know,

00:22:28.630 --> 00:22:31.309
I had so many things happen in my life that are

00:22:31.309 --> 00:22:34.089
crazy and insane. I think it's a story that needs

00:22:34.089 --> 00:22:36.230
to be told. I said, you ever think about a book?

00:22:36.470 --> 00:22:38.470
He said, yeah. He goes, actually, I did think

00:22:38.470 --> 00:22:41.539
about a book. He may have been a part of cartel.

00:22:41.740 --> 00:22:45.819
He is highly educated. He is a highly educated

00:22:45.819 --> 00:22:48.819
man. You guys will find this out when I interview

00:22:48.819 --> 00:22:52.920
him. So, I'm just saying, when that comes out,

00:22:52.980 --> 00:22:55.759
I'm going to just put up the Ramon episode, and

00:22:55.759 --> 00:22:58.960
you guys need to get it right then. He is a really

00:22:58.960 --> 00:23:03.359
interesting guy. So, okay, and I'm going to go

00:23:03.359 --> 00:23:05.730
into a different note. Check the Ramone thing

00:23:05.730 --> 00:23:09.049
out. Very cool. On another note, Royals legendary

00:23:09.049 --> 00:23:12.089
play -by -play guy, the voice of the Royals,

00:23:12.089 --> 00:23:15.170
and Baseball Hall of Famer Denny Matthews, he's

00:23:15.170 --> 00:23:18.710
about to become a newly married for the first

00:23:18.710 --> 00:23:25.369
time. He is 82 years old. Really? Yes. I love

00:23:25.369 --> 00:23:29.180
Denny Matthews. Denny Matthews is a legend. He's

00:23:29.180 --> 00:23:31.980
a legend. He's in the Hall of Fame. He's in the

00:23:31.980 --> 00:23:36.160
Broadcasting Hall of Fame. He's amazing. He will

00:23:36.160 --> 00:23:38.660
be wed at Kauffman Stadium, I think, next week.

00:23:38.799 --> 00:23:42.119
I forgot the exact date. But God bless you. That's

00:23:42.119 --> 00:23:46.519
the perfect place. Man, we love you, Denny. We

00:23:46.519 --> 00:23:49.700
wish you the best of everything. I just love

00:23:49.700 --> 00:23:52.420
that story. We are pleased with your upcoming

00:23:52.420 --> 00:23:59.299
nuptials. The woman is a very... Very happy woman.

00:23:59.640 --> 00:24:02.099
She's really being blessed to be with a guy like

00:24:02.099 --> 00:24:07.039
Denny. And I'm sure she is the same. And then

00:24:07.039 --> 00:24:09.420
while we're talking about Kansas City, I've spoke

00:24:09.420 --> 00:24:11.460
about there's something special about Kansas

00:24:11.460 --> 00:24:15.220
City, the Frank Boll TV and radio legend special

00:24:15.220 --> 00:24:18.519
series podcast. All right. I told you about the

00:24:18.519 --> 00:24:21.220
Johnny Dare interview. Well, there's another

00:24:21.220 --> 00:24:23.539
one with Randy Miller. And then I since found

00:24:23.539 --> 00:24:28.339
out there's one with Max Floyd. So this is a

00:24:28.339 --> 00:24:30.440
fantastic in -depth interview with all of them.

00:24:30.480 --> 00:24:32.619
I listened to both of them. I listened to Randy

00:24:32.619 --> 00:24:36.839
Miller, Kansas City's first shock jock. He was.

00:24:37.059 --> 00:24:39.859
He was. He was doing this stuff at KCI Radio

00:24:39.859 --> 00:24:42.920
before anybody was. He was doing the bits. He

00:24:42.920 --> 00:24:45.440
was doing the prank calls. He was doing all of

00:24:45.440 --> 00:24:48.059
that stuff before anyone else was. You could

00:24:48.059 --> 00:24:51.680
say that Dick and Jay was the first shock jock.

00:24:51.930 --> 00:24:54.509
in Kansas city radio, but it changed so much

00:24:54.509 --> 00:24:57.589
between the seventies and the eighties that,

00:24:57.650 --> 00:24:59.670
you know, like the mid eighties in particular,

00:24:59.710 --> 00:25:02.650
when KCI radio was coming out and all that, they,

00:25:02.769 --> 00:25:06.470
I can't really put it in the same category, you

00:25:06.470 --> 00:25:09.670
know, but, um, anyhow, uh, Kansas city's first

00:25:09.670 --> 00:25:11.829
shock jock, Randy Miller is a great interview.

00:25:11.950 --> 00:25:14.289
A lot of stuff I didn't know about him. And like

00:25:14.289 --> 00:25:16.990
I always say, if I'm going to see an autobiography,

00:25:17.069 --> 00:25:20.049
if I'm going to read it or watch it, I want stuff.

00:25:20.130 --> 00:25:23.940
I don't know. I don't want a bunch of stuff that

00:25:23.940 --> 00:25:26.599
I know. Why would I rehash anything I already

00:25:26.599 --> 00:25:28.799
know? This is one of those ones, a bunch of stuff

00:25:28.799 --> 00:25:31.380
that I didn't know. It's fantastic. And also

00:25:31.380 --> 00:25:33.119
he's writing a second book, which I'm going to

00:25:33.119 --> 00:25:35.960
get that too. I have the first one, Prizes, Pranks,

00:25:35.960 --> 00:25:39.299
and the Purse Lady. The Misadventures of the

00:25:39.299 --> 00:25:42.500
Randy Miller Morning Show. It's a very good book.

00:25:43.339 --> 00:25:47.500
So, all right. And while I'm at this, and I'm

00:25:47.500 --> 00:25:49.519
talking about other podcasts and other stuff.

00:25:50.240 --> 00:25:53.460
Chris Jericho has a podcast named Talk is Jericho.

00:25:53.599 --> 00:25:55.519
A lot of people have already heard it. Yeah,

00:25:55.660 --> 00:25:58.859
he's very good. His latest show featured Jakey

00:25:58.859 --> 00:26:01.799
Lee. If you're a hard rock fan, it's a must listen.

00:26:02.019 --> 00:26:04.799
He's very open, honest, and candid about everything.

00:26:05.000 --> 00:26:07.900
I sincerely enjoyed the Jakey Lee interview.

00:26:09.680 --> 00:26:13.549
Jakey Lee is a very unique guy. I had no idea

00:26:13.549 --> 00:26:15.650
there were so many facets to him until lately.

00:26:15.990 --> 00:26:18.349
He's been coming out and talking, you know, ever

00:26:18.349 --> 00:26:20.890
since, you know, he went to the Back to the Beginning

00:26:20.890 --> 00:26:24.230
concert. He was invited there personally by Nuno

00:26:24.230 --> 00:26:27.049
Betancourt, by the blessing of everybody that

00:26:27.049 --> 00:26:31.779
was attending, including the Osbournes. And I

00:26:31.779 --> 00:26:34.200
never knew there were so many facets of him.

00:26:34.240 --> 00:26:36.660
And, like, the shooting. The shooting that, you

00:26:36.660 --> 00:26:39.779
know, he got shot up pretty bad. He almost died.

00:26:39.960 --> 00:26:43.140
I didn't know this. And also, they were shooting

00:26:43.140 --> 00:26:46.160
at his dog because it seems like maybe they were

00:26:46.160 --> 00:26:47.880
trying to steal a car or something, allegedly,

00:26:48.099 --> 00:26:51.980
right? And then he was walking his dog at 2 a

00:26:51.980 --> 00:26:53.940
.m. The reason he was walking his dog at 2 a

00:26:53.940 --> 00:26:57.640
.m. is blistering hot in Vegas. That's the only

00:26:57.640 --> 00:27:00.269
time you can do it without melting. So he's out

00:27:00.269 --> 00:27:03.609
there walking his dog at 2 a .m., and he probably

00:27:03.609 --> 00:27:07.009
ran up on a crime scene unknowingly. And the

00:27:07.009 --> 00:27:09.289
dog was barking. Jake Lee's dog was barking.

00:27:09.309 --> 00:27:11.690
So Jake let the dog go so he could run back home

00:27:11.690 --> 00:27:14.670
and not get shot. But in doing that, he got shot

00:27:14.670 --> 00:27:17.490
three times, three or four times. But he's okay.

00:27:17.730 --> 00:27:20.630
But it was an interesting story because I didn't

00:27:20.630 --> 00:27:22.789
know all of that. I didn't know a bunch of other

00:27:22.789 --> 00:27:26.230
things either. And he also said something that

00:27:26.230 --> 00:27:29.430
I didn't realize. But I guess Sharon came up

00:27:29.430 --> 00:27:32.569
to him when she said, hey, Ozzy's over there.

00:27:32.609 --> 00:27:35.670
He wants to see you. And she goes, she whispered

00:27:35.670 --> 00:27:39.509
in his ear, he doesn't have long. So if the heart

00:27:39.509 --> 00:27:41.509
attack didn't get him something else, whatever

00:27:41.509 --> 00:27:43.769
else was going to get him. So, you know, he's

00:27:43.769 --> 00:27:46.759
probably better off. I hate saying that. You

00:27:46.759 --> 00:27:49.519
know, we wish he was here, but he's not. But

00:27:49.519 --> 00:27:52.339
it's probably better off that that happened because

00:27:52.339 --> 00:27:55.319
he was going to die probably in a more painful,

00:27:55.519 --> 00:28:00.319
long -form manner, which would suck. So, anyhow,

00:28:00.500 --> 00:28:02.980
I love this candidness. Listen to it. If you're

00:28:02.980 --> 00:28:05.380
a hard rock fan, if you like Jakey Lee, Ozzy,

00:28:05.440 --> 00:28:08.819
listen to it. It's a must listen. This has got

00:28:08.819 --> 00:28:11.059
a mark, check mark next to it. Listen to it.

00:28:11.440 --> 00:28:14.559
And you too, Rob. I know you feel the same way

00:28:14.559 --> 00:28:16.740
about all the same bands. Listen to it, Rob.

00:28:16.839 --> 00:28:20.839
It's very good. Oh, I definitely will. So now

00:28:20.839 --> 00:28:24.140
I'm going to go into my story here because I

00:28:24.140 --> 00:28:27.740
was minded of it. The other day I took and I

00:28:27.740 --> 00:28:29.859
sent a picture of this and then someone goes,

00:28:29.960 --> 00:28:32.680
oh yeah, that's just like your flaming shitter

00:28:32.680 --> 00:28:35.880
story. So I'll go into it. Okay, I'm headed up

00:28:35.880 --> 00:28:37.579
to the city market and I was going to go through

00:28:37.579 --> 00:28:40.680
some... some corners with construction going

00:28:40.680 --> 00:28:42.799
on. You know how they have everything, all the,

00:28:42.819 --> 00:28:48.859
all the, all the cones and then that mesh stuff

00:28:48.859 --> 00:28:51.299
that they keep you away from, right? Little makeshift

00:28:51.299 --> 00:28:53.619
fence and all that. And they're working on this,

00:28:53.619 --> 00:28:55.680
they're working on this curb, okay? They're tearing

00:28:55.680 --> 00:28:57.640
it down and putting another one in. There was

00:28:57.640 --> 00:29:00.680
a Johnny on the spot, crapper, overflowing, and

00:29:00.680 --> 00:29:03.700
turds were running down the road, okay? Oh, I

00:29:03.700 --> 00:29:08.680
love it. Yeah, so I sent this to, well, Johnny

00:29:08.680 --> 00:29:11.460
and O .P., although his name's not Johnny. I

00:29:11.460 --> 00:29:14.140
sent it to Johnny. I sent it to Johnny and O

00:29:14.140 --> 00:29:17.279
.P. You know Rob, you know. So one of these days.

00:29:18.599 --> 00:29:22.859
Oh, wait, no, you wouldn't know him. He was after

00:29:22.859 --> 00:29:26.390
you. Damn it. Okay. All right. Anyhow. So this

00:29:26.390 --> 00:29:30.230
leads me to my famous burning turd story because

00:29:30.230 --> 00:29:33.869
he sent me back a reply going, reminds me of

00:29:33.869 --> 00:29:36.769
your burning shitter story. And I'm like, oh,

00:29:36.829 --> 00:29:40.549
so, okay. Many years ago for the youth. Well,

00:29:41.269 --> 00:29:42.910
I was a mad shitter too. I got a lot of shit

00:29:42.910 --> 00:29:46.730
stories. Yeah, that's only in Clinton, Missouri.

00:29:46.769 --> 00:29:51.289
I'm the mad shitter. This was in Lacing, Kansas.

00:29:51.410 --> 00:29:54.950
I was not known as a mad shitter there. Many

00:29:54.950 --> 00:29:58.210
years later for the union, I had to do some field

00:29:58.210 --> 00:30:02.589
work for hours for my schooling. To pass, you

00:30:02.589 --> 00:30:05.289
had to have so many hours in the field to be

00:30:05.289 --> 00:30:09.710
completed, right? So you did your stuff in the

00:30:09.710 --> 00:30:13.309
office, in the school, and then you had to go

00:30:13.309 --> 00:30:16.369
out and you had to learn stuff in the field,

00:30:16.450 --> 00:30:18.289
although I wasn't going to be a field worker.

00:30:18.670 --> 00:30:23.779
Well, I did. I did later. I had to do this for

00:30:23.779 --> 00:30:28.559
my credits to be completed. I'm not going to

00:30:28.559 --> 00:30:31.140
say which power plant it was, but I think I kind

00:30:31.140 --> 00:30:37.000
of did. It was, but I had to use the structure

00:30:37.000 --> 00:30:40.539
elevator a lot. I'm going to act like I missed

00:30:40.539 --> 00:30:44.119
it. I don't think it matters in the least, but

00:30:44.119 --> 00:30:49.920
anyhow. Yeah, this is true. There's a structure

00:30:49.920 --> 00:30:52.359
right next to the stack, and all the work is

00:30:52.359 --> 00:30:54.539
done on a structure. The stack is just simply

00:30:54.539 --> 00:30:58.140
to excel the fumes out of there and to burn the

00:30:58.140 --> 00:31:01.559
coal. Everything else is all the logistics and

00:31:01.559 --> 00:31:03.779
everything that it takes to do that, and that's

00:31:03.779 --> 00:31:08.559
in the structure next to the stack. So I didn't

00:31:08.559 --> 00:31:11.779
know the gag yet, so I was a victim. On the structure

00:31:11.779 --> 00:31:14.519
next to the stacks, there's a floor that was

00:31:14.519 --> 00:31:18.180
full of equipment access. to the outside panels

00:31:18.180 --> 00:31:25.359
and stuff. So then every other floor stop was

00:31:25.359 --> 00:31:28.420
just a platform. Usually with just a Johnny on

00:31:28.420 --> 00:31:30.240
the spot shitter, because that was the only place

00:31:30.240 --> 00:31:32.700
they had room for it, okay? So you'd have one

00:31:32.700 --> 00:31:36.700
floor that was a full floor of everything, you

00:31:36.700 --> 00:31:38.660
know, that you had to do, the boilers, access

00:31:38.660 --> 00:31:42.079
to the boilers. all the pipes, all the electronics

00:31:42.079 --> 00:31:44.319
and everything. And then the next floor would

00:31:44.319 --> 00:31:46.940
be a little small, little partial square floor,

00:31:47.000 --> 00:31:49.140
and it would have a Johnny on the spot on it,

00:31:49.160 --> 00:31:52.500
okay? They needed that there to segregate the

00:31:52.500 --> 00:31:56.700
floors, right? So they started putting Johnny

00:31:56.700 --> 00:31:58.539
on the shitters there because that was the best

00:31:58.539 --> 00:32:02.619
spot. The elevator you had to make sure you were

00:32:02.619 --> 00:32:05.240
on the right floor because it literally took

00:32:05.240 --> 00:32:07.839
40 minutes for the elevator to come back because

00:32:07.839 --> 00:32:10.059
there's hundreds of workers getting on and off

00:32:10.059 --> 00:32:13.140
of that elevator all the time, right? It's like

00:32:13.140 --> 00:32:16.220
30 floors, okay? So all these people are getting

00:32:16.220 --> 00:32:18.839
on and off doing this work there. So it took

00:32:18.839 --> 00:32:21.990
forever for it to come back. So what happens

00:32:21.990 --> 00:32:24.230
is when a crapper gets full on the platform,

00:32:24.369 --> 00:32:27.690
it takes forever for the Johnny company to come

00:32:27.690 --> 00:32:30.569
out and change the shitter. It's a huge, laborious,

00:32:30.569 --> 00:32:34.759
lengthy task to change one out. you know on the

00:32:34.759 --> 00:32:36.880
structure's platform you know it spills over

00:32:36.880 --> 00:32:40.000
you know it's just nasty it smells horrible and

00:32:40.000 --> 00:32:41.680
then they got to get this giant pallet i see

00:32:41.680 --> 00:32:44.839
them do it they got this giant pallet jack they

00:32:44.839 --> 00:32:47.000
they go under it and they lift it up and when

00:32:47.000 --> 00:32:49.220
they're doing that because it's overflowing fucking

00:32:49.220 --> 00:32:51.500
turds and piss start flying out of that thing

00:32:51.500 --> 00:32:54.150
right so nobody wants to do it I wouldn't either

00:32:54.150 --> 00:32:56.930
if I worked for him. So the workers literally

00:32:56.930 --> 00:32:59.609
have to light the motherfucker on fire and then

00:32:59.609 --> 00:33:01.390
call the crapper company and go, hey, we got

00:33:01.390 --> 00:33:04.130
a flaming shitter. This is an urgent plea to

00:33:04.130 --> 00:33:08.529
come get your shitter. It's on fire. Okay? And

00:33:08.529 --> 00:33:11.670
there's a reason why they call us two douchebags.

00:33:11.890 --> 00:33:17.410
Yes. So there's this flaming shitter up on 5,

00:33:17.569 --> 00:33:20.450
turds popping, sewage overflowing on this small

00:33:20.450 --> 00:33:22.609
platform. You don't have very much other space

00:33:22.609 --> 00:33:27.829
there, okay? I love this story. I think you know

00:33:27.829 --> 00:33:31.609
where I'm going with this. Yes, I do. My initiation

00:33:31.609 --> 00:33:34.230
that I didn't realize was a foreman said he left

00:33:34.230 --> 00:33:37.029
a pipe wrench up on platform 5, and I had to

00:33:37.029 --> 00:33:38.890
retrieve it. So I'm sitting there going, oh,

00:33:38.910 --> 00:33:41.069
okay, cool, a little fuck -off job, you know?

00:33:44.870 --> 00:33:48.210
20 minutes to get up there, 40 minutes after

00:33:48.210 --> 00:33:50.509
the elevator leaves to, you know, I get the pipe

00:33:50.509 --> 00:33:52.309
wrench, then I wait 40 minutes just standing

00:33:52.309 --> 00:33:54.089
there, and then the elevator comes back and gets

00:33:54.089 --> 00:33:55.930
me, and then I go back down and I give them the

00:33:55.930 --> 00:33:58.450
pipe wrench. It sounded great, right? It's like,

00:33:58.470 --> 00:34:01.569
man, I got an hour of fuck -off time ahead of

00:34:01.569 --> 00:34:08.760
me. This is awesome. My initiation was, you know,

00:34:08.760 --> 00:34:10.619
to get that pipe wrench, but I didn't view it

00:34:10.619 --> 00:34:12.659
as that. I thought, oh, man, this guy must like

00:34:12.659 --> 00:34:16.000
me, man. He's giving me a pud job. So there I

00:34:16.000 --> 00:34:18.039
was suckered into finding a pipe wrench that

00:34:18.039 --> 00:34:20.840
didn't exist, standing next to an overflowing

00:34:20.840 --> 00:34:24.320
flaming shitter with turds popping and such.

00:34:25.239 --> 00:34:27.159
Forty -some minutes later, after the burning

00:34:27.159 --> 00:34:30.559
turds permeated my hair, clothes, eyes, and skin,

00:34:31.039 --> 00:34:33.980
I finally get back on the elevator. I go back

00:34:33.980 --> 00:34:36.760
to my foreman and he said, oh, I'm sorry. I found

00:34:36.760 --> 00:34:40.860
the pipe wrench in the office. My bad. I wanted

00:34:40.860 --> 00:34:43.199
to kill. I wanted to fucking kill him. And then

00:34:43.199 --> 00:34:46.199
everybody, I could tell by their reaction, they

00:34:46.199 --> 00:34:49.199
wanted to bust out laughing. And they all turned

00:34:49.199 --> 00:34:53.860
around and walked off. And later on, the guy

00:34:53.860 --> 00:34:56.820
comes up to me and goes, hey, hey, kid. I'm like,

00:34:56.900 --> 00:34:59.909
yeah. He goes. That's your initiation. You're

00:34:59.909 --> 00:35:01.590
fine now. They won't fuck with you anymore. I'm

00:35:01.590 --> 00:35:07.349
like, okay, cool, thanks. Yeah, and I'm not kidding

00:35:07.349 --> 00:35:11.150
you. Don't you love those? That flaming shit,

00:35:11.230 --> 00:35:14.409
it permeates your hair and your skin, and you

00:35:14.409 --> 00:35:16.929
can smell it on you the rest of the day. Oh,

00:35:16.929 --> 00:35:24.050
it's fucking horrible. So, let's see. And then

00:35:24.050 --> 00:35:26.269
I have this other thing I want to go into. I

00:35:26.269 --> 00:35:28.309
know I'm running late, but your voice isn't.

00:35:28.510 --> 00:35:31.550
isn't really good some kind of right honestly

00:35:31.550 --> 00:35:36.650
my first one is two stories so okay all right

00:35:36.650 --> 00:35:40.989
we'll go to it here hey i've been wearing my

00:35:40.989 --> 00:35:44.570
voice out let's do it okay all right hang on

00:35:44.570 --> 00:35:46.170
i've got a couple more things and we'll go to

00:35:46.170 --> 00:35:48.250
you and you can talk as long as you want to as

00:35:48.250 --> 00:35:51.150
long as your voice doesn't give out um okay i

00:35:51.150 --> 00:35:53.429
forgot this but i found my notes in this earlier

00:35:53.429 --> 00:35:56.210
today I was going through Osceola, Missouri,

00:35:56.409 --> 00:35:58.610
coming back from our trip to Arkansas a few weeks

00:35:58.610 --> 00:36:01.949
back. I love that place. Osceola Cheese Factory.

00:36:02.710 --> 00:36:04.789
We didn't get a chance to stop there. Shout out.

00:36:05.889 --> 00:36:08.630
Osceola Cheese is good. And those garlic crackers.

00:36:08.789 --> 00:36:13.389
Oh, my God. Shout out to Osceola Cheese. We love

00:36:13.389 --> 00:36:15.570
you guys. You guys make some phenomenal stuff.

00:36:16.110 --> 00:36:19.610
And I'm going to be like 20 minutes from there.

00:36:20.170 --> 00:36:26.110
Oh, yeah, that's right. So I stop at the pilot

00:36:26.110 --> 00:36:27.909
truck stop there. You know where it's at, right?

00:36:28.010 --> 00:36:30.170
Before you get to the cheese place, just to the

00:36:30.170 --> 00:36:35.010
south of it. And I get out to... To the south?

00:36:35.309 --> 00:36:39.750
Or is it to the north? Well, there's one in Lowry

00:36:39.750 --> 00:36:43.269
City and then there's... Lowry City. Lowry City,

00:36:43.469 --> 00:36:54.320
sorry. Lowry City. Okay, this was Lowry City.

00:36:54.519 --> 00:36:58.280
The Collins one, we already went by. Yeah, you're

00:36:58.280 --> 00:37:01.119
talking about Lowry City, yeah. Yeah, yeah, Lowry

00:37:01.119 --> 00:37:03.179
City. Before you get to Osceola, come with me.

00:37:04.260 --> 00:37:07.900
Well... Trust me, after we're done... No, after

00:37:07.900 --> 00:37:10.099
you started talking about it, I realized my error.

00:37:10.179 --> 00:37:12.739
I realized my error after you started talking

00:37:12.739 --> 00:37:16.940
about it. Lowry City, yeah. Not Osceola. So,

00:37:17.039 --> 00:37:19.400
I get outside to pump my gas, right? I go up

00:37:19.400 --> 00:37:23.170
to a gas pump. There are 10 huge piles of puke

00:37:23.170 --> 00:37:28.050
surrounding my car, my Jeep. I'm not kidding

00:37:28.050 --> 00:37:30.630
you. It's not humanly possible to puke that much.

00:37:31.269 --> 00:37:34.030
And I get out there, and I'm like, what the hell?

00:37:34.250 --> 00:37:36.710
I look around. I'm like, there's huge piles of

00:37:36.710 --> 00:37:39.889
puke, like 10 of them, surrounding the car. I

00:37:39.889 --> 00:37:41.409
got back in and left. I said, I'm going to get

00:37:41.409 --> 00:37:43.190
gassed somewhere else. I almost vomited just

00:37:43.190 --> 00:37:47.199
smelling the fucking vomit. I don't know what

00:37:47.199 --> 00:37:49.519
happened. Did, like, a family of people, like,

00:37:49.599 --> 00:37:51.659
get food poisoning and all run out there and

00:37:51.659 --> 00:37:53.760
jump out at the same time and vomit everywhere?

00:37:55.739 --> 00:38:01.659
No. See how I'm moving over the area. I already

00:38:01.659 --> 00:38:04.079
know what happened. What happened? Please tell

00:38:04.079 --> 00:38:09.340
me. It was a bunch of drunk people. That's probably

00:38:09.340 --> 00:38:13.059
it. Just saying. It was a bunch of rednecks.

00:38:13.119 --> 00:38:18.760
They queued. That, Rob, you just made sense of

00:38:18.760 --> 00:38:21.800
it. Because I jumped back in the car and Val

00:38:21.800 --> 00:38:25.619
said, I'm moving over there. Val's like, it's

00:38:25.619 --> 00:38:31.460
like neck of the woods type stuff. No, Val's

00:38:31.460 --> 00:38:32.860
like, I thought you were getting gas. I'm like,

00:38:32.960 --> 00:38:38.199
I'll tell you later. I just went on. I'm fucking

00:38:38.199 --> 00:38:40.599
gagging while I'm still getting in the car. It

00:38:40.599 --> 00:38:44.809
was nasty. So, and finally, I did the solo cast,

00:38:45.030 --> 00:38:47.710
right? Because last week you had laryngitis.

00:38:48.690 --> 00:38:52.590
So, did you hear it yet? Well, I still do, but

00:38:52.590 --> 00:38:57.429
I don't know what it is, honestly. If it persists,

00:38:57.429 --> 00:38:59.570
go to the doctor. She can get antibiotics before

00:38:59.570 --> 00:39:02.429
it gets worse. For real. Well, the problem is

00:39:02.429 --> 00:39:24.159
I feel fine. Hmm. My voice is gone. Oh, okay.

00:39:25.219 --> 00:39:27.960
Well, it's better than what it was, so, you know.

00:39:28.420 --> 00:39:33.400
Yes, it is. So it's getting better. Okay, so

00:39:33.400 --> 00:39:40.320
did you hear any of the solo casts, Rob? I placed

00:39:40.320 --> 00:39:44.480
her just a while ago. Okay. Did you like the

00:39:44.480 --> 00:39:48.219
Mr. Creepy? I put in the inaugural Mr. Creepy

00:39:48.219 --> 00:39:56.659
segment. Okay. We don't do Mr. Creepy anymore,

00:39:56.860 --> 00:39:59.639
but there's a couple of them that I really did

00:39:59.639 --> 00:40:02.719
like. I'm going to repurpose them every now and

00:40:02.719 --> 00:40:05.519
then. And, you know, Topher was kind enough to

00:40:05.519 --> 00:40:07.440
fill up a couple of flash drives full of the

00:40:07.440 --> 00:40:10.159
first 20 shows, I think, is what he had the first

00:40:10.159 --> 00:40:12.880
20. I listen to a lot of the older stuff and

00:40:12.880 --> 00:40:15.699
it's actually really, really good. And I forgot

00:40:15.699 --> 00:40:18.420
them enough to, it made me laugh, you know, like

00:40:18.420 --> 00:40:20.739
the Mr. Creepy segment. I forgot how funny the

00:40:20.739 --> 00:40:23.360
first one was. It was talking about meat gazers,

00:40:23.360 --> 00:40:26.679
you know, a guy who wrote into Mr. Creepy. And

00:40:26.679 --> 00:40:31.099
so, so I'm still looking for the, through the

00:40:31.099 --> 00:40:36.280
story. You know, I love Mr. Creepy. I know, I

00:40:36.280 --> 00:40:42.389
know. And if I bring him back. Maybe with AI

00:40:42.389 --> 00:40:44.989
voice I could get away with it, but the guy just,

00:40:45.110 --> 00:40:47.789
I don't like the way I made him sound, and I

00:40:47.789 --> 00:40:52.869
don't know how to correct it. He's got some sort

00:40:52.869 --> 00:40:56.349
of a draw that I don't like. I find very unappealing.

00:40:57.289 --> 00:41:01.170
You know how you have to like a character to

00:41:01.170 --> 00:41:06.150
really get into it? Maybe an AI voice would help,

00:41:06.190 --> 00:41:08.489
and it would sound a little different, the draw

00:41:08.489 --> 00:41:11.590
and everything. I might try him like that. So,

00:41:11.650 --> 00:41:14.010
I don't know. Well, anyhow, I mean, I'm glad

00:41:14.010 --> 00:41:15.829
you like him, and I know other people like him,

00:41:15.849 --> 00:41:17.670
too. I'm the one with the problem with him, and

00:41:17.670 --> 00:41:20.889
I just don't like the way he sounds. But we'll

00:41:20.889 --> 00:41:26.289
figure that out later. So, anyhow, Topher gave

00:41:26.289 --> 00:41:28.829
me about the first 20 shows, and I'm in the middle

00:41:28.829 --> 00:41:32.429
of segmenting the ones that I want out and, you

00:41:32.429 --> 00:41:36.369
know, not taking some of the stuff. It is a filler,

00:41:36.469 --> 00:41:41.940
but I don't think it's strong enough. What'd

00:41:41.940 --> 00:41:46.260
you say? I was scared. Yeah, things were breaking

00:41:46.260 --> 00:41:49.559
up as you were talking. Oh, okay. All right,

00:41:49.619 --> 00:41:52.300
well, I'm done with everything. Okay, we're good.

00:41:52.420 --> 00:41:56.400
It sounds like we're good now. Okay. Rob, we

00:41:56.400 --> 00:42:06.170
go to you. You have a couple stories. Okay, do

00:42:06.170 --> 00:42:09.070
one, then we'll go to our first break, come back

00:42:09.070 --> 00:42:10.869
with some emails, and then you can do the other

00:42:10.869 --> 00:42:16.989
one. Do you think that'll work? Well, no. After

00:42:16.989 --> 00:42:21.469
emails, I have robbed a bag of garbage. Oh, okay.

00:42:22.349 --> 00:42:26.329
If nothing else, I will make the second one for

00:42:26.329 --> 00:42:30.650
tonight's show. Okay, okay. Well, go ahead and

00:42:30.650 --> 00:42:32.869
see what you can do, and we'll go from there.

00:43:05.449 --> 00:44:07.980
Thank you. Geez, and the trailer hitch? Hello?

00:44:10.460 --> 00:44:15.019
Yeah, I'm here. Okay. Yeah, I don't know how

00:44:15.019 --> 00:44:18.000
long we're going to be here. Okay, let's take

00:44:18.000 --> 00:44:56.039
our first break. We'll be right back. Oh, man.

00:44:56.179 --> 00:44:57.940
What the fuck is this? Is this a new feature?

00:44:59.739 --> 00:45:04.840
What's inside Mark's head? Sounds stupid to me.

00:45:05.159 --> 00:45:09.159
Why do people say tuna fish sandwich when nobody

00:45:09.159 --> 00:45:13.960
says chicken bird sandwich? Now it's time for

00:45:13.960 --> 00:45:16.739
Pickup Lines from a Loser. Can you take me to

00:45:16.739 --> 00:45:19.420
the hospital? I just broke my leg falling for

00:45:19.420 --> 00:45:31.840
you. And now, Deep Thoughts with Mark. The other

00:45:31.840 --> 00:45:35.119
day, my vacuum became clogged. I had to open

00:45:35.119 --> 00:45:39.079
up my vacuum and unclog it. So essentially, I

00:45:39.079 --> 00:45:42.300
was cleaning my vacuum. which was a vacuum cleaner,

00:45:42.539 --> 00:45:48.760
but I became the vacuum cleaner. Mind blown.

00:45:54.320 --> 00:45:57.860
And now we look in on the adventures of the technical

00:45:57.860 --> 00:46:01.579
explanation guy. Excuse me, sir. Could you please

00:46:01.579 --> 00:46:04.000
be a good gentleman and pass the malt acetic

00:46:04.000 --> 00:46:07.780
acid my way? Do you mean the malt vinegar? Why,

00:46:07.780 --> 00:46:10.860
yes. Yes, I do mean the malt vinegar. Then just

00:46:10.860 --> 00:46:15.260
say the malt vinegar, you dumb buck. Strange,

00:46:15.659 --> 00:46:20.619
but true. Tico Cemetery is one of the cemeteries

00:46:20.619 --> 00:46:22.760
where the state of Ohio buried the residents

00:46:22.760 --> 00:46:25.860
of Columbus Mental Hospital. The gravestones

00:46:25.860 --> 00:46:28.420
are all the same size and shape, many without

00:46:28.420 --> 00:46:31.099
names. The most striking feature is that there

00:46:31.099 --> 00:46:34.980
is some have stones just marked specimens. Have

00:46:34.980 --> 00:46:37.179
you ever wondered what something is about? Have

00:46:37.179 --> 00:46:39.099
you ever looked at something and said, hey, I

00:46:39.099 --> 00:46:42.079
wonder what the origin of that is? Well, so have

00:46:42.079 --> 00:46:47.159
we. That's why we give you the origin of. This

00:46:47.159 --> 00:46:51.380
is the origin of Rob Rad's loincloth. Rob used

00:46:51.380 --> 00:46:54.059
to strip in a nightclub called McCock's on the

00:46:54.059 --> 00:46:56.559
city's east side. Rob was the only completely

00:46:56.559 --> 00:46:59.300
new dancer at the club. The other dancers were

00:46:59.300 --> 00:47:01.320
jealous of Rob making all the cash and made him

00:47:01.320 --> 00:47:04.059
use a loincloth to dance with. Rob soon had to

00:47:04.059 --> 00:47:06.469
wear his loincloth daily. He found out that he

00:47:06.469 --> 00:47:08.610
could get out of traffic tickets, sell vinyl

00:47:08.610 --> 00:47:10.949
siding, and pick up hotties at the come and go.

00:47:11.110 --> 00:47:13.530
Rob now wears his loincloth everywhere except

00:47:13.530 --> 00:47:16.949
work. Sparks plus pubic hair equals to bad things.

00:47:17.630 --> 00:47:22.309
You watched the news. It looks grim. Is an apocalypse

00:47:22.309 --> 00:47:26.150
inevitable? We suggest you download all our podcasts

00:47:26.150 --> 00:47:29.349
beforehand and have multiple mobile chargers.

00:47:29.449 --> 00:47:36.079
We have your post -apocalypse list. Learn your

00:47:36.079 --> 00:47:38.860
soils. You will need drinking and bath water.

00:47:39.079 --> 00:47:42.199
You must build a reservoir. The key to hold water

00:47:42.199 --> 00:47:44.659
in the ground are the clays you have at its base.

00:47:45.199 --> 00:47:48.420
Research water purification methods, and wild

00:47:48.420 --> 00:47:51.500
game will attract to the water as well. Hey there,

00:47:51.559 --> 00:47:54.480
slap nets. It's time for the Creeps Music News.

00:47:57.019 --> 00:47:59.559
Hey, my little pumpkin seeds. This is Johnny

00:47:59.559 --> 00:48:02.960
Rohypnol with your music news. During an appearance

00:48:02.960 --> 00:48:05.519
on July 8th episode of SiriusXM's Trunk Nation,

00:48:05.820 --> 00:48:08.260
Tony Omi spoke about some of his upcoming music

00:48:08.260 --> 00:48:10.719
-related projects, including a full -length collection

00:48:10.719 --> 00:48:12.579
of new material from legendary Black Sabbath

00:48:12.579 --> 00:48:16.300
guitarist. Tony said, as transcribed by Blabbermouth

00:48:16.300 --> 00:48:31.920
.net, And then who knows what I'm going to do.

00:48:32.019 --> 00:48:34.539
It's great, really. Because if something pops

00:48:34.539 --> 00:48:37.800
up, I'll do it if I want to do it. Asked if his

00:48:37.800 --> 00:48:40.079
upcoming album as a Tony Iommi solo record would

00:48:40.079 --> 00:48:42.500
guess on it, like he's done before with the legendary

00:48:42.500 --> 00:48:45.699
2000s Iommi, the guitarist responded, at the

00:48:45.699 --> 00:48:48.500
moment, no. I've got one singer on it, which

00:48:48.500 --> 00:48:50.500
I originally thought of different singers, but

00:48:50.500 --> 00:48:52.539
it started off as it was going to be an instrumental

00:48:52.539 --> 00:48:55.539
album, and it's gone from that into a full -fledged

00:48:55.539 --> 00:48:58.539
Tony Iommi project. But then I thought, oh, wait,

00:48:58.579 --> 00:49:00.960
I want to try it with a singer. So that's what

00:49:00.960 --> 00:49:03.800
I've been doing. This is Johnny Rohypnol. That

00:49:03.800 --> 00:49:06.659
was your music news. And remember, bar chords

00:49:06.659 --> 00:49:13.500
are bullshit. And now, Deep Thoughts with Mark.

00:49:18.019 --> 00:49:22.420
So let me see. Let's say I was offended by people

00:49:22.420 --> 00:49:26.130
being offended. Then would people being offended

00:49:26.130 --> 00:49:28.449
all the time would have to not be offended around

00:49:28.449 --> 00:49:30.769
me because I was offended by them being offended?

00:49:32.289 --> 00:49:41.349
Hmm. I may never know. Tomorrow morning, while

00:49:41.349 --> 00:49:43.690
grinding your coffee beans for your double mocha

00:49:43.690 --> 00:49:46.630
latte, remember to not get your genitals caught

00:49:46.630 --> 00:49:49.829
in the grinder. It really hurts. And who can

00:49:49.829 --> 00:49:52.949
afford plastic surgery? Stay safe, everyone.

00:49:54.570 --> 00:49:57.389
People often ask, how do we cram so much money

00:49:57.389 --> 00:50:00.690
into one little show? Well, it's simple. We buy

00:50:00.690 --> 00:50:04.570
funny in bulk on the Internet. Hey, Mark, you're

00:50:04.570 --> 00:50:06.789
wanted at the front door. There's a big bag of

00:50:06.789 --> 00:50:10.090
funny they need you to sign for. Okay, thanks

00:50:10.090 --> 00:50:11.989
a lot. I'll be right there. I'm still sorting

00:50:11.989 --> 00:50:14.590
out the funny we got from yesterday. There's

00:50:14.590 --> 00:50:17.030
your answer. We buy funny in bulk on the Internet.

00:50:17.809 --> 00:50:21.210
And now we look in on the adventures of the technical

00:50:21.210 --> 00:50:24.989
explanation guy. Oh, my. Would you look at the

00:50:24.989 --> 00:50:28.610
Riley scattering? It sure is brilliant tonight.

00:50:29.429 --> 00:50:32.929
First off, you're on private property. Second,

00:50:33.170 --> 00:50:36.730
you're in my flower garden. Third, if you're

00:50:36.730 --> 00:50:39.570
talking about the sunset, yes, it is stunning.

00:50:39.750 --> 00:50:43.150
And finally, would you get the hell off my property,

00:50:43.210 --> 00:50:46.969
you annoying fucking bastard? Miss Gulkenstein

00:50:46.969 --> 00:50:48.969
was tired of Mark and Toe for making sport of

00:50:48.969 --> 00:50:51.940
her. Little did the douchebag know Ms. Gilfenstein

00:50:51.940 --> 00:50:54.599
was a voodoo high priestess when she was younger.

00:50:55.079 --> 00:50:59.000
She grew angry and cast a spell on Rob, changing

00:50:59.000 --> 00:51:03.699
Rob into a capuchin monkey. Mark took Rob to

00:51:03.699 --> 00:51:05.719
a local zoo so he could be with the other monkeys.

00:51:06.000 --> 00:51:09.860
Here are the adventures of Rob, the capuchin

00:51:09.860 --> 00:51:15.170
monkey. Shh, be very quiet. We're going to listen

00:51:15.170 --> 00:51:17.929
in as Rob the Capuchin Monkey tries to sell the

00:51:17.929 --> 00:51:20.769
rest of the Capuchin Monkey's Amway. Rob has

00:51:20.769 --> 00:51:23.230
always dreamed of becoming a Diamond Status Amway

00:51:23.230 --> 00:51:47.420
as a Capuchin Monkey. Little did our hero Rob

00:51:47.420 --> 00:51:50.860
know. All the great apes owned stock in Sam's

00:51:50.860 --> 00:51:53.000
Club and became violently pissed off when he

00:51:53.000 --> 00:51:55.760
tried to infringe on their territory. They promptly

00:51:55.760 --> 00:51:57.960
grabbed switches and beat his ass for three days

00:51:57.960 --> 00:52:02.619
straight. Rob could not sit down. Two douchebags

00:52:02.619 --> 00:52:04.659
and microphone in an effort to keep everything

00:52:04.659 --> 00:52:09.860
fresh. We offer you... First world problems.

00:52:11.179 --> 00:52:17.230
Damn it. I can't decide between nachos... Chili

00:52:17.230 --> 00:52:22.590
or wings for the game tonight. This is bullshit.

00:52:22.710 --> 00:52:24.829
I should not have to make decisions like this.

00:52:25.329 --> 00:52:28.449
Our constant pursuit for a real knee slapper.

00:52:28.769 --> 00:52:32.989
It's strange insults from an alien. Real hilarity.

00:52:33.210 --> 00:52:35.130
I've seen salads that dress better than you.

00:52:47.079 --> 00:52:49.300
Two douchebags and microphone. I'm Mark here

00:52:49.300 --> 00:52:51.880
in the Kansas City area at the Talk is Cheap

00:52:51.880 --> 00:53:13.679
studio. All right. Got some emails. What'd you

00:53:13.679 --> 00:53:20.500
say? I can hear you. No, I'm just saying, I don't

00:53:20.500 --> 00:53:23.400
know how much I can go. Okay. My voice is giving

00:53:23.400 --> 00:53:26.320
out, dude. Okay, well, you don't have to talk

00:53:26.320 --> 00:53:29.019
too much here. I'll do the emails, and then we'll

00:53:29.019 --> 00:53:31.380
see where we're at. Okay, yeah. Yeah, let's get

00:53:31.380 --> 00:53:34.300
to the emails and shit. Okay, then we'll see

00:53:34.300 --> 00:53:37.699
where we're at. Story -wise, I do not have the

00:53:37.699 --> 00:53:41.360
air in me to do it. Okay, then just be the co

00:53:41.360 --> 00:53:45.860
-host, and I'll have stuff, okay? Yeah. Yeah,

00:53:45.980 --> 00:53:49.579
absolutely. I've got plenty of stories. Like

00:53:49.579 --> 00:53:52.300
I said, it's been a week today I've had this

00:53:52.300 --> 00:53:59.059
shit. Ugh. Okay. Well, yeah, save your voice.

00:53:59.119 --> 00:54:02.840
We need you to get better. Alright, first one.

00:54:03.039 --> 00:54:05.519
Hey guys, how about a winter version of the drink

00:54:05.519 --> 00:54:07.860
of the week? You know, the hot toddies and white

00:54:07.860 --> 00:54:11.460
Russians and such. Henry in Duluth. I think that's

00:54:11.460 --> 00:54:16.360
a fantastic idea. Because I've done all, you

00:54:16.360 --> 00:54:18.400
know, summer drinks, you know, like the Miami

00:54:18.400 --> 00:54:22.500
Vice and the coconut mojitos and stuff like that.

00:54:22.739 --> 00:54:29.880
So, yeah. Henry, that's a great idea. We're going

00:54:29.880 --> 00:54:33.880
to do that. Hey, my friends. Just letting my

00:54:33.880 --> 00:54:37.159
support for a paranormal episode. You two would

00:54:37.159 --> 00:54:40.079
cover that well, I believe. Thanks, guys. Ronnie

00:54:40.079 --> 00:54:44.400
and Tulsa, the Tulsa King. P .S. I will give

00:54:44.400 --> 00:54:48.039
you my paranormal story that's unbelievable when

00:54:48.039 --> 00:54:54.059
you launch this podcast if you do. Okay, okay,

00:54:54.280 --> 00:54:57.360
okay. Now, he can't call in because of his job.

00:54:58.119 --> 00:55:01.480
That's fine. But he can send me the story. Okay,

00:55:01.739 --> 00:55:05.639
go ahead. What now? I'm going to break in with

00:55:05.639 --> 00:55:10.159
a paranormal story right now. Okay. This house

00:55:10.159 --> 00:55:21.510
I am moving into. Mm -hmm. Okay. And it starts

00:55:21.510 --> 00:55:29.650
out in my new studio. Wow. Okay. We hear footsteps

00:55:29.650 --> 00:55:32.909
upstairs. Okay, I'll go ahead and tell them.

00:55:33.050 --> 00:55:38.869
Yeah, please do. We hear footsteps all the time

00:55:38.869 --> 00:57:35.409
upstairs. Mm -hmm. Okay. You've got something

00:57:35.409 --> 00:57:45.869
there. It's like they, how do I say it? It's

00:57:45.869 --> 00:57:50.090
like they appreciated the work we were doing.

00:57:50.869 --> 00:58:30.780
That's cool. So we find out who it is. But they

00:58:30.780 --> 00:58:35.219
seem to appreciate. I mean, if you're replacing

00:58:35.219 --> 00:58:39.739
the floors and you're working on a house and

00:58:39.739 --> 00:58:45.119
that light lights up, that usually means you

00:58:45.119 --> 00:58:48.340
have their acceptance. You know what I mean?

00:58:49.940 --> 00:58:57.690
I've got my research. Very cool. I believe that

00:58:57.690 --> 00:59:00.190
completely because when we lived in northeast

00:59:00.190 --> 00:59:02.849
Kansas City, I was a young child, about five,

00:59:02.949 --> 00:59:05.230
six. I think we moved out of there when I was

00:59:05.230 --> 00:59:09.170
like seven. Okay. So we were living down the

00:59:09.170 --> 00:59:12.849
road from my grandma from here, Grandma Hazel,

00:59:12.869 --> 00:59:16.530
and she passed away. We moved up to her home.

00:59:18.630 --> 00:59:22.969
Yeah, I did. We moved up to her home. It was

00:59:22.969 --> 00:59:26.190
three houses up. on Kensington in northeast Kansas

00:59:26.190 --> 00:59:30.849
City. We lived there, and routinely, every day,

00:59:30.909 --> 00:59:34.170
we'd hear footsteps, moans, the toilet flushing,

00:59:34.210 --> 00:59:39.530
and the sink. It was crazy. And my dad had come

00:59:39.530 --> 00:59:41.969
home one day, and he knew his mom's, you know,

00:59:41.969 --> 00:59:45.650
his mom's moan very well. He turned white as

00:59:45.650 --> 00:59:47.809
a sheet. I'm like, what? He goes, I just heard

00:59:47.809 --> 00:59:51.530
my mom moan upstairs. So we kind of believed,

00:59:51.630 --> 00:59:53.760
like, maybe her spirit was around there. You

00:59:53.760 --> 00:59:57.719
know, God rest her soul, Grandma Hazel. Yeah.

00:59:58.300 --> 01:00:01.940
Now, Greece, like I said, like people know that

01:00:01.940 --> 01:00:03.900
listen very long. We lived there for a couple

01:00:03.900 --> 01:00:06.940
of years. And you know that in Greece, they don't

01:00:06.940 --> 01:00:09.739
believe in cremation. You don't cremate the person.

01:00:10.000 --> 01:00:12.460
And number two, they don't have enough room,

01:00:12.539 --> 01:00:16.480
you know, to have a lot of bodies. So after the

01:00:16.480 --> 01:00:19.480
flesh falls off, I'm not sure what the formula

01:00:19.480 --> 01:00:21.800
is, they dig up your bones and put them in a

01:00:21.800 --> 01:00:25.219
pile. Well, those bones at night have some sort

01:00:25.219 --> 01:00:28.300
of a phosphorus gas coming off of them, and they

01:00:28.300 --> 01:00:31.099
glow in the dark. And me being a young child

01:00:31.099 --> 01:00:33.739
walking by the damn things at night scared the

01:00:33.739 --> 01:00:38.380
shit out of me. It is really crazy. The phosphorus

01:00:38.380 --> 01:00:41.239
gas that the bones emit as they're decomposing

01:00:41.239 --> 01:00:44.579
makes them glow. So here you are walking by a

01:00:44.579 --> 01:00:48.199
bunch of skulls and bones and shit, and they're

01:00:48.199 --> 01:00:51.900
glowing. All right. All right. I'm going to go

01:00:51.900 --> 01:00:54.900
back to this. Hey, Mark. I actually found a cartoon

01:00:54.900 --> 01:00:57.219
set of the original Sabbath members on coffee

01:00:57.219 --> 01:01:00.360
mugs. The mugs came out in the 70s by an English

01:01:00.360 --> 01:01:02.980
company. I found them by accident in an estate

01:01:02.980 --> 01:01:06.119
sale. I did not get them cheap, but I do believe

01:01:06.119 --> 01:01:08.539
they're worth quite a bet. Chelsea in Charleston.

01:01:08.820 --> 01:01:11.460
You know, Chelsea, you're very lucky. I tried

01:01:11.460 --> 01:01:14.880
to get those for years. I could not. There is

01:01:14.880 --> 01:01:17.960
a limited edition. They were only sold in England.

01:01:18.510 --> 01:01:25.110
There was a cartoon show featuring Black Sabbath

01:01:25.110 --> 01:01:28.530
back in the early 70s in England. That's where

01:01:28.530 --> 01:01:33.309
these coffee mugs came from. It was a cartoon

01:01:33.309 --> 01:01:35.989
character of each one of them. Ozzie, Geezer,

01:01:36.110 --> 01:01:41.070
Tony, and Bill Ward. I tried to get those for

01:01:41.070 --> 01:01:44.809
years, and I couldn't. Chelsea, you are extremely

01:01:44.809 --> 01:01:58.019
lucky. Hold on to those. Oh, yeah? What kind?

01:02:00.860 --> 01:02:07.980
They were the Army's edition. You know, the Army's

01:02:07.980 --> 01:02:13.019
food chain edition. Yeah. Of Woody Woodpecker.

01:02:13.320 --> 01:02:22.960
Oh! No, get this. 1976. Wow, and that was...

01:02:30.349 --> 01:02:32.269
That's freaking cool. Where'd you find that at?

01:02:34.369 --> 01:02:39.369
You ain't gonna believe it. Okay. Trade Fair,

01:02:39.630 --> 01:02:43.429
Harrisonville. Yeah, yeah, yeah, just south of

01:02:43.429 --> 01:02:45.889
Harrisonville. Well, actually, it is. I told

01:02:45.889 --> 01:02:48.849
you, I told you me and Purchase went there. Mm

01:02:48.849 --> 01:02:52.969
-hmm, yeah. Yeah, I picked him up there. I'm

01:02:52.969 --> 01:03:07.039
gonna have to go. Dude, they got all kinds of

01:03:07.039 --> 01:03:12.800
shit. The one thing I'm looking for is the Duke

01:03:12.800 --> 01:03:17.480
of Hazzard metal lunchbox. That's what I was

01:03:17.480 --> 01:03:20.320
looking for the whole time I was there. I found

01:03:20.320 --> 01:03:25.119
everything but that. You know how they are. They

01:03:25.119 --> 01:03:34.369
got everything. So I didn't get it. You know

01:03:34.369 --> 01:03:36.510
what? I know who to get a hold of. If I can find

01:03:36.510 --> 01:03:40.570
them, do you want me to get them for you? Okay.

01:03:40.949 --> 01:03:46.369
All right. I'll send them a message. Oh, freaking

01:03:46.369 --> 01:03:58.489
awesome. Okay. All right. That sounds great.

01:04:01.700 --> 01:04:05.480
Thank you. Yes. I still get people bitching about

01:04:05.480 --> 01:04:09.079
it. I still have your old shirt that I bought

01:04:09.079 --> 01:04:15.219
that had the wrong email when I bought it. That's

01:04:15.219 --> 01:04:23.579
an old story. Go back and listen. Wow. Okay.

01:04:29.480 --> 01:04:31.500
Let's see. What the hell is I going to say? I'm

01:04:31.500 --> 01:04:36.139
sorry. I'm sorry, my voice. No, no, no, no. It's

01:04:36.139 --> 01:04:39.699
fine. It's fine. You're doing great. All right.

01:04:39.739 --> 01:04:41.599
I'm trying to get back on track here. Sorry.

01:04:42.519 --> 01:04:45.659
Rob, could you give me your stink bait recipe?

01:04:46.000 --> 01:04:49.739
Your stink bait recipe. I need to fish out the

01:04:49.739 --> 01:04:52.039
Massey Creek Arm of Lake Freeman before we take

01:04:52.039 --> 01:04:55.300
wanded husks and seining nets to it. Rob, could

01:04:55.300 --> 01:04:57.880
you also bring a boombox because loud godsmack

01:04:57.880 --> 01:05:00.679
scares off the snakes, even the timber rattlers

01:05:00.679 --> 01:05:03.519
and water moccasins? Mitch, Lake Freeman Boat

01:05:03.519 --> 01:05:47.909
and Firearm Council. Any reply? Oh, I know that

01:05:47.909 --> 01:05:52.489
recipe. But I'll tell you what. A human can eat

01:05:52.489 --> 01:05:58.050
it. Yes. And actually, catfish love it. Yes.

01:05:59.309 --> 01:06:01.230
I know what you're talking about. I used to make

01:06:01.230 --> 01:06:03.369
it myself. It was the best thing to fish for

01:06:03.369 --> 01:06:08.210
catfish with. Oh, my God. Yeah. And you can eat

01:06:08.210 --> 01:06:11.369
it for dinner if you want, Mitch. Yeah. You can

01:06:11.369 --> 01:06:13.250
sit there. You can eat half for the fish, half

01:06:13.250 --> 01:06:20.429
for you. There you go, Mitch. It's wide open

01:06:20.429 --> 01:06:26.150
for you. All right. His email is on the Douchebags

01:06:26.150 --> 01:06:29.210
Facebook page. Send him one. Break him off one.

01:06:30.469 --> 01:06:32.769
And you can even do a fake one if you're still

01:06:32.769 --> 01:06:35.250
trying to keep this ruse up about not knowing

01:06:35.250 --> 01:06:37.909
who you are. Just make up an email somewhere

01:06:37.909 --> 01:06:43.369
and send it to him. All right. Rob, I now understand

01:06:43.369 --> 01:06:45.989
the history of your loincloth. Very interesting.

01:06:46.599 --> 01:06:49.739
I used to frequent McCock's. That place was a

01:06:49.739 --> 01:06:52.619
dump. Were you the guy that could tie his wiener

01:06:52.619 --> 01:06:55.239
in a knot? I hope not. That guy gave me the clap.

01:06:55.599 --> 01:07:00.280
Jerry in Boonville Detention Center. Have you

01:07:00.280 --> 01:07:04.900
heard the origin of Rob's loincloth? Boonville

01:07:04.900 --> 01:07:12.420
what? Detention Center. Jerry in Boonville Detention

01:07:12.420 --> 01:07:17.269
Center. Have you heard the new... That would

01:07:17.269 --> 01:07:24.809
be Missouri. Yes. Very well could be. Who knows?

01:07:25.650 --> 01:07:30.590
I would say... San Jerry. Have you heard the

01:07:30.590 --> 01:07:34.510
bit... I read that. Too many people won't check

01:07:34.510 --> 01:07:39.469
out one concert. Well, the story is, if you haven't

01:07:39.469 --> 01:07:42.369
heard it, is Rob, the story of Rob's loincloth

01:07:42.369 --> 01:07:45.579
is he was a dancer at a... strip club called

01:07:45.579 --> 01:07:49.360
McCock's he was the only new one and he was getting

01:07:49.360 --> 01:07:51.880
all the business so the other ones grew envious

01:07:51.880 --> 01:07:55.440
of Rob and they made him put on a loincloth so

01:07:55.440 --> 01:07:58.019
the question is Rob were you the guy that could

01:07:58.019 --> 01:08:00.380
tie his wiener in the knot and did you give Jerry

01:08:00.380 --> 01:08:09.840
the clap okay yes I could tie my wiener in the

01:08:09.840 --> 01:08:14.280
knot but no I could never have had the clap Jerry

01:08:14.460 --> 01:08:16.979
You must have got it from somewhere else. So

01:08:16.979 --> 01:08:21.520
there you go. All right. Hey, guys. Just wanted...

01:08:21.520 --> 01:08:25.659
These fuckers are warped. They are warped. That

01:08:25.659 --> 01:08:35.600
was great. And McCox is... McCox is shut down,

01:08:35.819 --> 01:08:42.159
Rob. I'm sorry. Yeah, he's gone. McCox is gone.

01:08:42.680 --> 01:08:48.500
Yep. Damn it. I know. I owe her $150. Oh, not

01:08:48.500 --> 01:08:53.819
now. Hey, guys, just wanted to touch base real

01:08:53.819 --> 01:08:57.899
quick. Grandma Opal is... He fried me one before

01:08:57.899 --> 01:09:03.880
I got to the hospital. All right. Hey, guys,

01:09:03.899 --> 01:09:05.760
just wanted to touch base real quick. Grandma

01:09:05.760 --> 01:09:09.140
Opal is stable but not doing real well. I really

01:09:09.140 --> 01:09:11.539
do not wish to get into her health issues, but

01:09:11.539 --> 01:09:14.979
we just request... Prayers, please. Thank you,

01:09:15.000 --> 01:09:19.079
Jimmy and Dodge City. It's not real good, Rob.

01:09:20.300 --> 01:09:25.619
Okay, okay. Yeah. Jimmy, Jimmy, straight up,

01:09:25.619 --> 01:09:34.180
honest, let Mark, email Mark how to get there,

01:09:34.260 --> 01:09:37.619
where she's at. We'll come down and visit her.

01:09:37.720 --> 01:09:56.279
I want to come see her. I do, too. Send us in.

01:09:57.060 --> 01:10:01.140
I will take a day off work if I have to. Rob

01:10:01.140 --> 01:10:03.779
and I both will. I want to meet Grandma Opal.

01:10:03.880 --> 01:10:08.920
I do, too. I do, too. But she's stable. She's

01:10:08.920 --> 01:10:11.659
stable. She's not, per se, in, like, imminent

01:10:11.659 --> 01:10:14.180
danger, but there's a lot of things going against

01:10:14.180 --> 01:10:18.119
her, and it sucks. But still, let us know how

01:10:18.119 --> 01:10:22.539
we can get there. So we can see her. I'm already

01:10:22.539 --> 01:10:25.600
working on that, Rob. And we will keep it off

01:10:25.600 --> 01:10:29.699
the air. Yeah. Yep. And also, she's got all her

01:10:29.699 --> 01:10:34.319
prayers. Yeah, I want to meet Grandma. I really

01:10:34.319 --> 01:10:38.680
do. Okay, on this last email, I edited the name

01:10:38.680 --> 01:10:41.500
of the radio show because, well, I'll get to

01:10:41.500 --> 01:10:43.899
it here. Mark, there's a radio show in Kansas

01:10:43.899 --> 01:10:46.800
City I'm sure listens and copies subjects from

01:10:46.800 --> 01:10:53.730
your show. Julie in Parkville. Really? Okay.

01:10:53.730 --> 01:10:57.069
Julie in Parkville. I think it's Julie, wasn't

01:10:57.069 --> 01:11:02.409
it? Julie in Parkville. Yeah, it is. Okay. Julie

01:11:02.409 --> 01:11:04.989
in Parkville. I don't think there's copying going

01:11:04.989 --> 01:11:10.949
on, and here's why. I'll listen to, like, let's

01:11:10.949 --> 01:11:12.770
say Bubba the Love Sponge. I still listen to

01:11:12.770 --> 01:11:16.449
him when I get a chance, and I'll listen to shows

01:11:16.449 --> 01:11:19.630
from, like, a week ago trying to catch up. And

01:11:19.630 --> 01:11:22.630
they'll have subjects that we just covered like

01:11:22.630 --> 01:11:24.989
the day before, but I didn't listen to them.

01:11:25.109 --> 01:11:27.710
They were subjects I found on my own. We all

01:11:27.710 --> 01:11:30.310
cover the same subjects. All of these shows that

01:11:30.310 --> 01:11:33.590
do stuff like this cover the same subjects primarily.

01:11:34.029 --> 01:11:36.510
So I don't think there's copying. It's just like

01:11:36.510 --> 01:11:39.029
I've got a lot of comparisons to a couple of

01:11:39.029 --> 01:11:43.770
shows that were around. And the thing is, is

01:11:43.770 --> 01:11:46.729
I'm not trying to copy anybody. These are influences.

01:11:47.550 --> 01:11:50.869
These are influences of ours. We listened to

01:11:50.869 --> 01:11:53.270
these shows growing up. We loved them. So, of

01:11:53.270 --> 01:11:55.289
course, we're going to sound kind of like that.

01:11:55.510 --> 01:11:58.189
You know, I love the skits and bits. This is

01:11:58.189 --> 01:12:00.289
what I like to do. This is what Rob likes to

01:12:00.289 --> 01:12:02.989
do. We like to try to make funny. We do skits

01:12:02.989 --> 01:12:04.810
and bits and make fun of stuff. We're smartasses.

01:12:20.390 --> 01:12:22.909
And I appreciate you watching out for us, Julie.

01:12:23.010 --> 01:12:26.329
It's very nice of you to bring that up that it's

01:12:26.329 --> 01:12:29.529
going on. But no, I mean, honestly, I don't believe

01:12:29.529 --> 01:12:32.250
it's going on. I think that... No, I don't think

01:12:32.250 --> 01:12:35.810
so. We're not big enough for a radio station

01:12:35.810 --> 01:12:39.829
to cover us. No, no. They're not listening to

01:12:39.829 --> 01:12:42.010
us and then transcribing nothing or whatever

01:12:42.010 --> 01:12:44.430
or just getting the idea. But thank you. They're

01:12:44.430 --> 01:12:47.850
jealous of us. Yeah. Yeah, because we can say,

01:12:47.930 --> 01:12:50.510
fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. Yeah, the

01:12:50.510 --> 01:12:56.569
FCC. We don't. For now. You never know. For now.

01:12:56.770 --> 01:13:02.350
Yeah. Here we go on the for now again. Yeah,

01:13:02.350 --> 01:13:03.970
yeah. One day the government might come in and

01:13:03.970 --> 01:13:05.989
go, well, we've got to censor the Internet. It's

01:13:05.989 --> 01:13:08.210
just getting out of control. And I'm afraid they're

01:13:08.210 --> 01:13:11.210
going to use AI as the... I was talking about

01:13:11.210 --> 01:13:14.470
my... Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, no. I know

01:13:14.470 --> 01:13:16.310
you were. I know you were. I was going to a different

01:13:16.310 --> 01:13:18.630
area there. So, all right. Let's take our second

01:13:18.630 --> 01:13:20.649
break, and if you have the voice, we'll come

01:13:20.649 --> 01:13:22.569
back with some of your stuff. If not, I got plenty

01:13:22.569 --> 01:13:28.409
of shit. Sound good? Yeah, yeah. I got one I

01:13:28.409 --> 01:13:33.869
want to do. It's one that I covered. Is this

01:13:33.869 --> 01:13:37.710
your bag of garbage? Anyway, let's go to it.

01:13:38.409 --> 01:13:40.170
Do you want to go to it now, or do you want to

01:13:40.170 --> 01:13:44.020
take a break and then go to it? Okay. All right.

01:13:44.060 --> 01:13:46.800
We'll be right back. So you want proof that we

01:13:46.800 --> 01:13:49.060
love you here at QD Spades and Microphone Central?

01:13:49.760 --> 01:13:52.300
Here's a proof right here about the drink of

01:13:52.300 --> 01:13:56.000
the week. Hey, sporty pants. How about a black

01:13:56.000 --> 01:13:59.699
currant margarita? 24 ounces tequila. The best

01:13:59.699 --> 01:14:04.420
or wild goat. 20 ounces cream big cassay. 96

01:14:04.420 --> 01:14:07.500
ounce big bucket margarita mixer. Garnished with

01:14:07.500 --> 01:14:10.180
lined wheels. Served in a tall Poland's glass.

01:14:10.739 --> 01:14:13.149
Combining ingredients with Big Buffy. Stir, seal,

01:14:13.310 --> 01:14:18.250
and open the vent. Freeze and serve. Enjoy, poggers.

01:14:18.430 --> 01:14:21.510
Have at it. Christopher, you know our elaborate

01:14:21.510 --> 01:14:24.289
prank section, right? Mm -hmm. Okay, well, I've

01:14:24.289 --> 01:14:26.229
got one for you. I never told you about Babble

01:14:26.229 --> 01:14:30.039
Snatch, have I? No. Okay, even if I did, just

01:14:30.039 --> 01:14:32.760
say I didn't know that. He knows nothing about

01:14:32.760 --> 01:14:34.680
Babelsnatch. Yeah, I would think I would remember

01:14:34.680 --> 01:14:38.460
a name like Babelsnatch. Okay. Well, Babelsnatch,

01:14:38.460 --> 01:14:41.619
this is back in the 80s, probably mid -80s, best

01:14:41.619 --> 01:14:44.399
guess. Could have been 87 at the latest, but

01:14:44.399 --> 01:14:47.640
anyhow. Yeah, I used to go to the 7 -Eleven in

01:14:47.640 --> 01:14:49.600
Belvedere, which isn't there now. It was knocked

01:14:49.600 --> 01:14:52.289
down and then replaced. Way later by a quick

01:14:52.289 --> 01:14:55.590
trip. But anyhow, I used to go in there all the

01:14:55.590 --> 01:14:57.810
time and, you know, go in there and buy sodas

01:14:57.810 --> 01:15:01.090
and shit and whatever, you know. Rolling papers

01:15:01.090 --> 01:15:04.829
for my friends, not for me. And anyhow, you know,

01:15:04.829 --> 01:15:08.680
just shit like that. anyhow there's this guy

01:15:08.680 --> 01:15:11.159
in there he i don't know you know i think he

01:15:11.159 --> 01:15:13.800
hated long hairs or something but hey i noticed

01:15:13.800 --> 01:15:16.579
he was nice to everybody but me like i'd be like

01:15:16.579 --> 01:15:19.359
third in line and anyhow you know the first guy

01:15:19.359 --> 01:15:23.039
hey mr jones how you doing oh man yeah nice weather

01:15:23.039 --> 01:15:27.100
hey how's the kid you know next person Hi, Loretta.

01:15:27.100 --> 01:15:29.979
How you doing? Oh, man. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Everything's

01:15:29.979 --> 01:15:32.539
going good, man. I got the old Taurus running

01:15:32.539 --> 01:15:35.140
really good. Yeah, yeah. Come by, man. The old

01:15:35.140 --> 01:15:39.180
Taurus. Yeah, you know. I come up there. 142.

01:15:39.779 --> 01:15:45.819
So, how you doing? 142. Okay, here you go. And

01:15:45.819 --> 01:15:47.659
I'm like, what the hell? How come this guy hates

01:15:47.659 --> 01:15:50.439
me? And every time I go in there, nice as pie

01:15:50.439 --> 01:15:52.899
to everybody but me, it's like, just like, yeah,

01:15:52.899 --> 01:15:56.310
it'd be 249. So, uh, weather's pretty nice out

01:15:56.310 --> 01:16:01.590
there. Thanks. Bye. Motherfucker. So he did this

01:16:01.590 --> 01:16:04.069
so many times and he just never talked to me.

01:16:04.069 --> 01:16:06.050
Wouldn't even like hardly look at me, you know?

01:16:06.210 --> 01:16:08.369
So, and I never did nothing to this fucker that

01:16:08.369 --> 01:16:10.869
I know of, you know, maybe someone said something

01:16:10.869 --> 01:16:13.649
like this guy said, you know, that you're a dick

01:16:13.649 --> 01:16:16.130
or maybe someone's screwing with him. Like, Hey

01:16:16.130 --> 01:16:19.449
man, he thinks you got a nice ass. Whatever the

01:16:19.449 --> 01:16:21.250
fucking deal was, the guy was just a complete

01:16:21.250 --> 01:16:23.470
tool bag to me constantly. So I was like, all

01:16:23.470 --> 01:16:25.779
right, bitch. So I go home, and I think about

01:16:25.779 --> 01:16:28.840
it. I'm like, okay. So I start calling up, and

01:16:28.840 --> 01:16:32.399
I go, hey, you got any Babbel Snatch gum? What?

01:16:33.000 --> 01:16:36.800
Babbel Snatch. I mean, everybody. I bought it

01:16:36.800 --> 01:16:39.520
from there a couple weeks ago. Stuff is fucking

01:16:39.520 --> 01:16:42.250
awesome, man. I'll tell you what, man, talk to

01:16:42.250 --> 01:16:44.270
your manager about it. Is this like a breath

01:16:44.270 --> 01:16:47.590
freshening gum? I don't, you know. Maybe a bubble

01:16:47.590 --> 01:16:51.369
gum? I just came up with it. And anyhow, the

01:16:51.369 --> 01:16:54.149
guy, he bid on it, you know. He was like, oh,

01:16:54.350 --> 01:16:56.090
yeah, I'll check on it for you. That's awesome.

01:16:56.569 --> 01:16:58.869
Hey, thanks, man. I appreciate it. So anyhow,

01:16:59.090 --> 01:17:01.329
so I called back a little bit later. Yeah, someone

01:17:01.329 --> 01:17:04.470
called earlier, you know. And anyhow, I'm sure

01:17:04.470 --> 01:17:06.510
we have it here somewhere. But, you know, I'll

01:17:06.510 --> 01:17:08.270
talk to my manager about it tonight, and we'll

01:17:08.270 --> 01:17:10.520
see what we can do. So anyhow. I have a couple

01:17:10.520 --> 01:17:12.439
other people call it about babble snatch gum

01:17:12.439 --> 01:17:14.300
and, you know, and they're like, yeah, yeah,

01:17:14.319 --> 01:17:16.100
yeah. You know, we're, we're working on getting

01:17:16.100 --> 01:17:18.739
it in. Okay. You know, the regional manager,

01:17:18.859 --> 01:17:20.739
we called him and he said that he was going to

01:17:20.739 --> 01:17:23.979
work on getting it in here. And, and I go, well,

01:17:23.979 --> 01:17:25.779
you know, I bought it the other day and it's

01:17:25.779 --> 01:17:28.140
just so good. And they believe me. I go, man,

01:17:28.199 --> 01:17:30.859
this gum is just so great tasting. And he's like,

01:17:30.899 --> 01:17:32.840
it's babble snatch, right? Yeah. Babble snatch.

01:17:32.920 --> 01:17:35.300
That's the name of it. Okay. All right. I would

01:17:35.300 --> 01:17:36.939
have loved to listen to another conversation

01:17:36.939 --> 01:17:39.479
when he's asking the regional manager. about

01:17:39.479 --> 01:17:42.600
Babble Snatch. Oh, yeah. So, you know, anyhow.

01:17:43.899 --> 01:17:45.800
I called down there the next day, and I go, hey,

01:17:45.819 --> 01:17:47.479
man, you know, you got that babble snatch gum?

01:17:47.659 --> 01:17:49.300
You know, the guy's like, oh, hang on, hang on.

01:17:49.380 --> 01:17:51.140
I think it's in. We just had a load. Hang on.

01:17:51.479 --> 01:17:53.340
So, anyhow, so the guy's like, you know, and

01:17:53.340 --> 01:17:56.060
this is the guy I hated, the Paul guy. So, anyhow,

01:17:56.300 --> 01:17:58.619
he's like, yeah, hang on a second. So, I hear

01:17:58.619 --> 01:18:00.460
him like, yeah, hey, I'm going to go to the back

01:18:00.460 --> 01:18:02.460
there, and it's in one of the boxes. They said

01:18:02.460 --> 01:18:04.699
it was coming in today. So, all right, no big

01:18:04.699 --> 01:18:06.899
deal. So, I hear him go back there. I hear some

01:18:06.899 --> 01:18:08.899
rustling, and a couple people come in. Then he

01:18:08.899 --> 01:18:11.819
stops. He goes up there. Oh, yeah, it'll be 1242.

01:18:12.340 --> 01:18:14.020
Okay, thank you. Have a good day. And then he

01:18:14.020 --> 01:18:16.020
helps someone else. I hear him go back again.

01:18:16.140 --> 01:18:18.699
I hear him wrestling through some more boxes.

01:18:18.699 --> 01:18:22.060
Meanwhile, I'm laughing my ass off. Anyhow, this

01:18:22.060 --> 01:18:24.539
guy, he like for like 20 minutes is looking for

01:18:24.539 --> 01:18:30.779
babble snatch gum. so anyhow so like finally

01:18:30.779 --> 01:18:32.520
like a half hour later he comes back he goes

01:18:32.520 --> 01:18:34.840
man he goes look i know we're gonna have it in

01:18:34.840 --> 01:18:36.619
by the end of the day i talked to my manager

01:18:36.619 --> 01:18:40.199
okay all right man all right i'll come in tonight

01:18:40.199 --> 01:18:42.279
and i'll get some gum man save some for me man

01:18:42.279 --> 01:18:46.149
okay My name's Billy. I'll be in. Okay, okay,

01:18:46.289 --> 01:18:48.130
all right. I'll save you some babble snatch gum.

01:18:48.170 --> 01:18:51.229
No problem. So a couple hours later, I call up

01:18:51.229 --> 01:18:53.210
and I talk to the manager. The manager's like,

01:18:53.289 --> 01:18:55.090
yeah, yeah, I ordered some a couple days ago

01:18:55.090 --> 01:18:57.109
and it should be in. If it's not in right now,

01:18:57.149 --> 01:18:58.550
it's going to be in by the end of the day. I

01:18:58.550 --> 01:19:00.930
guarantee you. So I don't know how the hell they

01:19:00.930 --> 01:19:03.270
ordered it because there was no such thing as

01:19:03.270 --> 01:19:06.329
babble snatch gum. I made the shut up and all

01:19:06.329 --> 01:19:08.170
of a sudden, I mean, everybody wanted this fucking

01:19:08.170 --> 01:19:11.949
babble snatch gum. And it never did exist. Matter

01:19:11.949 --> 01:19:14.399
of fact, this prank. got so good to where i ended

01:19:14.399 --> 01:19:17.119
up this is you know in the 80s before digital

01:19:17.119 --> 01:19:19.819
cameras even let alone you know there are phone

01:19:19.819 --> 01:19:23.300
cameras and all the you know photoshop and everything

01:19:23.300 --> 01:19:26.479
no internet no we had to like cut stuff out of

01:19:26.479 --> 01:19:29.140
wrappers and stuff and make a fake babble snatch

01:19:29.140 --> 01:19:33.649
gum and take an old fashion fashion like Polaroid

01:19:33.649 --> 01:19:35.229
type of picture. Oh, yeah. I forgot what it was.

01:19:35.289 --> 01:19:37.149
It could have been one of those little box cameras

01:19:37.149 --> 01:19:39.109
back then. Probably the only thing I could afford,

01:19:39.350 --> 01:19:41.909
you know. Hey, we actually took a picture of

01:19:41.909 --> 01:19:45.069
the Babble Snatch gum. And a guy went in there.

01:19:45.090 --> 01:19:46.649
He goes, hey, man, I need this. The guy's like,

01:19:46.750 --> 01:19:48.630
I know, I know, I know, man. We're working on

01:19:48.630 --> 01:19:50.329
getting it in. It's hard to get, man. Everybody

01:19:50.329 --> 01:19:53.810
wants this Babble Snatch gum. So, anyhow, I guess

01:19:53.810 --> 01:19:55.970
the whole moral of the story is don't be a dick

01:19:55.970 --> 01:19:57.789
to me because then I'll do something like that.

01:19:57.949 --> 01:20:00.550
And even now, to this day, I'll have a couple

01:20:00.550 --> 01:20:02.170
people on my friends list every now and then

01:20:02.170 --> 01:20:04.569
like, send me a little message. He'll go, Babble

01:20:04.569 --> 01:20:08.109
Snatch. I'm like, ah! I remember one time I was

01:20:08.109 --> 01:20:12.130
like working up in fucking New York or something

01:20:12.130 --> 01:20:14.529
and all of a sudden I get a ding and like I'm

01:20:14.529 --> 01:20:16.869
on top of this fucking skyscraper they were putting

01:20:16.869 --> 01:20:19.949
in glass and I look down and it says Babble Snatch.

01:20:20.029 --> 01:20:25.590
I'm like, fuck! I'm up there dying in this glass

01:20:25.590 --> 01:20:27.449
about ready to fall and kill a hundred people.

01:20:29.220 --> 01:20:31.520
They recover your body and they look at your

01:20:31.520 --> 01:20:33.779
phone. Well, the last text you received said

01:20:33.779 --> 01:20:39.439
Babble Snatch. We better look into this. By some

01:20:39.439 --> 01:20:45.479
guy named Dirtbag. Yeah. So anyhow, that is my

01:20:45.479 --> 01:20:48.739
elaborate prank section of this. Unless we throw

01:20:48.739 --> 01:20:51.020
some more in there. But anyhow, Babble Snatch.

01:20:51.100 --> 01:20:56.010
Never forget it. His name lives on. Next time

01:20:56.010 --> 01:20:58.310
you take a dump, listen to two douchebags and

01:20:58.310 --> 01:21:00.869
a microphone. It's been proven in laboratory

01:21:00.869 --> 01:21:04.590
rats to relax your anal canal. Get in cover.

01:21:06.350 --> 01:21:10.010
Sir, I see your qualifications here. May I ask

01:21:10.010 --> 01:21:11.909
some further questions that could help me determine

01:21:11.909 --> 01:21:15.289
your employment eligibility? Yes, sir. I'm ready.

01:21:15.729 --> 01:21:18.329
Well, as you can see here, we have a large population

01:21:18.329 --> 01:21:21.010
of different ethnic backgrounds, sexuality, and

01:21:21.010 --> 01:21:25.779
ages. Are you by chance bilingual? Well, sir,

01:21:25.899 --> 01:21:28.300
I'm not sure why you need that kind of information,

01:21:28.300 --> 01:21:31.399
but, well, it was only one time in summer camp.

01:21:31.880 --> 01:21:38.960
I considered it experimental. Hey, good kid,

01:21:39.100 --> 01:21:41.239
no one gives an ounce of shit what you had for

01:21:41.239 --> 01:21:43.680
breakfast. Not even the person on the other end.

01:21:43.800 --> 01:21:46.560
You look like a mentally slow driv yelling into

01:21:46.560 --> 01:21:49.180
thin air all through the store. I pray that Bluetooth

01:21:49.180 --> 01:21:52.010
shorts you out and blows up your eardrums. What

01:21:52.010 --> 01:21:55.010
men consider self -centered dunce. Bonnie constantly

01:21:55.010 --> 01:21:57.729
coddled this dummy and it fucking shows. Go look

01:21:57.729 --> 01:22:00.130
back home and bore your dog. Wait, you probably

01:22:00.130 --> 01:22:01.869
forgot the theme and because you're too busy

01:22:01.869 --> 01:22:05.449
looking in the mirror all day. Fuck off. Next

01:22:05.449 --> 01:22:10.210
up, things overheard in hell. Great news. William

01:22:10.210 --> 01:22:15.390
Hung's world tour has been extended. Yes, it's

01:22:15.390 --> 01:22:18.609
true. Mark is an old bastard. It's also true

01:22:18.609 --> 01:22:22.079
that Mark uses a lot of ibuprofen. But Mark would

01:22:22.079 --> 01:22:25.000
like to tell you, if you see any pictures of

01:22:25.000 --> 01:22:28.979
him roofing ibuprofen, it's obviously fake, and

01:22:28.979 --> 01:22:30.819
you're to take the pictures and tear them up

01:22:30.819 --> 01:22:34.319
immediately. Now, from his underground bunker

01:22:34.319 --> 01:22:37.199
in Camden, Missouri, stocked full of dried goods,

01:22:37.579 --> 01:22:40.239
canned food, and a couple of vibrating toys,

01:22:40.640 --> 01:22:44.039
is Ramblings of a Madman, featuring Rob Rad.

01:22:45.420 --> 01:22:48.720
My mechanic told me I couldn't repair your brakes.

01:22:50.350 --> 01:22:57.229
So I made you one letter. Good job. Hey there,

01:22:57.289 --> 01:23:00.189
slap nuts. It's time for the Creeps Music News.

01:23:02.750 --> 01:23:05.329
Hey, my little pumpkin seeds. This is Johnny

01:23:05.329 --> 01:23:09.130
Rohypnol with your music news. Sepultura guitarist

01:23:09.130 --> 01:23:11.710
Andreas Kaiser spoke about the band's plans to

01:23:11.710 --> 01:23:14.489
release new music with Sepultura's current touring

01:23:14.489 --> 01:23:17.779
drummer, 23 -year -old Grayson Neckerman. who

01:23:17.779 --> 01:23:19.920
officially replaced Sepultura's longtime drummer,

01:23:20.140 --> 01:23:24.460
Elroy Casagrande, in February 2024. He said,

01:23:24.619 --> 01:23:27.300
as transcribed by BlackRoute .net, we recorded

01:23:27.300 --> 01:23:30.100
four new songs with Grayson on drums. I don't

01:23:30.100 --> 01:23:32.880
think anybody knows that, but there you go. We

01:23:32.880 --> 01:23:35.340
have four new songs, and we have the intention

01:23:35.340 --> 01:23:38.500
next year to release them in an EP. This is Johnny

01:23:38.500 --> 01:23:41.680
Rohypnol. That was your music news, and remember,

01:23:41.840 --> 01:23:59.750
bar chords are bullshit. Two douchebags and microphone.

01:23:59.909 --> 01:24:02.210
I'm Mark here in the Kansas City area at the

01:24:02.210 --> 01:24:29.670
Talk is Cheap studio. That's right, bitches.

01:24:29.869 --> 01:24:33.750
Eat your heart out. Okay, not from the Speedway,

01:24:33.810 --> 01:24:36.569
a block and a half from the Speedway. I didn't

01:24:36.569 --> 01:24:39.310
specify that. That's from the Speedway, in my

01:24:39.310 --> 01:24:43.170
opinion, but it's close enough. I'm not on the

01:24:43.170 --> 01:24:46.569
property. I'm just a block and a half away. You

01:24:46.569 --> 01:24:48.729
know what? You're right. You need to specify

01:24:48.729 --> 01:24:50.869
that. You're right. So before someone freaks

01:24:50.869 --> 01:24:52.409
out and goes, you're not there. I don't want

01:24:52.409 --> 01:24:55.029
to trespass in Georgia when I'm not even there.

01:24:55.079 --> 01:24:57.619
You're not there, Rob. I know you're not there.

01:24:57.659 --> 01:25:00.300
I know the owner, and he says you're not there.

01:25:01.039 --> 01:25:04.180
I can see someone doing that. I've got a Jeffy

01:25:04.180 --> 01:25:06.500
X, too, but go ahead. I mean, we may do it next

01:25:06.500 --> 01:25:09.500
time. It depends on how you feel, Rob. So go

01:25:09.500 --> 01:25:14.060
ahead with yours. Okay, well, I got... Okay,

01:25:14.140 --> 01:25:19.579
this is the second part of my Lake Harriet news.

01:25:20.479 --> 01:26:57.140
Okay. Okay. That's it? Well, that's what is atoning

01:26:57.140 --> 01:27:46.550
for. Oh, okay, okay. Okay, I mean, that's better.

01:27:46.630 --> 01:27:50.449
I don't know if that's just, but that's better.

01:27:51.949 --> 01:27:57.149
Okay, well, here's why I want to talk about this

01:27:57.149 --> 01:30:22.279
story. Okay. Okay, fair enough. Okay. On his

01:30:22.279 --> 01:30:28.640
own porch. Geez. Yeah. Well, actually, Michael

01:30:28.640 --> 01:30:33.840
had inherited that property from his mom who

01:30:33.840 --> 01:30:38.800
had just passed. Wow. Boy, that's unfortunate.

01:30:39.079 --> 01:30:44.359
Yeah. Yeah. And so he takes his dude in, and

01:30:44.359 --> 01:30:57.750
that's what happens. Yeah. Wow. Okay. But the

01:30:57.750 --> 01:31:02.829
good thing about Jordan was we would have worse

01:31:02.829 --> 01:31:51.039
because he'd be stupid. You know, but then you

01:31:51.039 --> 01:31:54.939
got an old dog like me. I ain't back in that

01:31:54.939 --> 01:32:01.039
either. No, yeah, I know that. We would get into

01:32:01.039 --> 01:32:07.539
it. And either later that day or the next morning,

01:32:07.800 --> 01:32:13.520
Jordan would come up and apologize to me. Okay,

01:32:13.520 --> 01:32:43.539
cool. And I appreciate that every time. Yeah,

01:32:43.539 --> 01:32:48.579
I would too. Yes, he's a dumbass. He had problems.

01:32:49.659 --> 01:32:54.539
But I appreciate the way he apologized to me.

01:32:54.600 --> 01:33:17.159
Yeah, I hear that. Yeah, I got you. Well, that

01:33:17.159 --> 01:33:20.619
sucks. Yeah, that was my second poem, Lake of

01:33:20.619 --> 01:33:24.479
the Arabics. Well, I can't say Lake of the Arabics

01:33:24.479 --> 01:33:30.319
because that is a K -R -M -S. I don't know what

01:33:30.319 --> 01:33:37.220
I'm going to call it. Late news. Wow. Okay. Well,

01:33:37.220 --> 01:33:45.319
thank you. No, thank you for that story. Matter

01:33:45.319 --> 01:33:51.699
of fact, the day Michael got fired, he was my

01:33:51.699 --> 01:33:59.119
helper. Wow. Yeah, so, and then a month later,

01:33:59.260 --> 01:34:04.720
this happens. That sucks. Yeah, it was all over

01:34:04.720 --> 01:34:09.880
the dispute. Yeah. And the roommates, you know.

01:34:09.939 --> 01:34:26.689
Oh yeah, I get it. No, I know. Yep. Do you want

01:34:26.689 --> 01:34:28.850
to end this? It's 9 -17, or do you want to keep

01:34:28.850 --> 01:34:33.689
going? You got something else? I ain't got my

01:34:33.689 --> 01:34:37.670
voice up, as you can tell. Okay. I can save the

01:34:37.670 --> 01:34:42.489
Jeffy X for next time. I don't want to do Jeffy,

01:34:42.489 --> 01:34:45.050
or whatever. Okay, all right. Well, I guess it

01:34:45.050 --> 01:34:47.270
won't hurt your voice if I do it, so I just want

01:34:47.270 --> 01:34:50.050
to conserve your voice for the next podcast,

01:34:50.210 --> 01:34:56.710
hopefully. Yeah, we'll see. All right. Well,

01:34:56.829 --> 01:34:59.649
you love presents, but wish the wrapping paper

01:34:59.649 --> 01:35:04.289
had a better smell? Oh, God, yes. No need to

01:35:04.289 --> 01:35:09.250
fear. Cinnabon has created Cinnabon scented wrapping

01:35:09.250 --> 01:35:13.270
paper just for the holiday season. And I really

01:35:13.270 --> 01:35:18.609
do like this idea like you do, Rob. But not to

01:35:18.609 --> 01:35:21.630
leave anything unturned, Jeffy X has a list of

01:35:21.630 --> 01:35:24.760
wrapping paper scents. that have failed. How

01:35:24.760 --> 01:35:29.079
about that, Rob? Okay, but just my opinion, just

01:35:29.079 --> 01:35:33.659
so I can say it. Yeah. Cinnamon would be the

01:35:33.659 --> 01:35:37.520
best spelling representation. Oh, I agree. I

01:35:37.520 --> 01:35:40.359
agree 100%. When I heard this, I was like, yeah.

01:35:40.560 --> 01:35:45.340
Cinnamon, yes, perfect. Yep. Jeffy X is our sleuth

01:35:45.340 --> 01:35:48.220
that goes into these different focus groups in

01:35:48.220 --> 01:35:50.939
disguise, and he gets this information that they

01:35:50.939 --> 01:35:54.649
don't want us to have. And he brings us back

01:35:54.649 --> 01:35:59.449
these lists of products or ideas that have failed.

01:35:59.569 --> 01:36:02.029
And these companies are after him, so he has

01:36:02.029 --> 01:36:08.670
to always be in disguise. And I gave him $3 ,000,

01:36:08.930 --> 01:36:11.649
I think, so he could either buy it on hookers

01:36:11.649 --> 01:36:16.539
and cocaine or get something for his mom. Oh,

01:36:16.539 --> 01:36:20.020
it was $2 ,500. Okay, thank you. And Rob was

01:36:20.020 --> 01:36:22.600
much nicer than me and much more thoughtful than

01:36:22.600 --> 01:36:28.920
I. He got Rob a flying bat suit. Rob is an expert

01:36:28.920 --> 01:36:32.939
embroiderer, and he embroidered him a flying

01:36:32.939 --> 01:36:37.119
bat suit. He embroidered him a bunch of, well,

01:36:37.220 --> 01:36:40.300
now a bunch, but at the time, one Sgt. Pepper's

01:36:40.300 --> 01:36:47.079
Beatles outfit. Yeah, well, he's going to have

01:36:47.079 --> 01:36:49.020
one for every day of the week because he refuses

01:36:49.020 --> 01:36:53.600
to take that off. The Sergeant Pepper's outfit,

01:36:53.699 --> 01:36:57.760
the suits that the Beatles donned on the album

01:36:57.760 --> 01:37:01.819
cover. So he loves that thing and he won't take

01:37:01.819 --> 01:37:04.079
it off. Now it's pitch black and it smells horrible.

01:37:05.159 --> 01:37:09.399
And then Rob made him a pair of Jeffy X underwear.

01:37:09.539 --> 01:37:12.560
An X on the front of it and Jeffy on the back

01:37:12.560 --> 01:37:15.199
of it. But inside... these underwear that he

01:37:15.199 --> 01:37:18.739
embroidered him, he put in a special Steven Piercy

01:37:18.739 --> 01:37:21.899
pouch. You want to know what Steven Piercy pouch

01:37:21.899 --> 01:37:24.779
is? Steven Piercy, the lead singer of the glam

01:37:24.779 --> 01:37:29.779
band Rat, supposedly used to have a pouch worn

01:37:29.779 --> 01:37:32.699
inside of his spandex to where he could put a

01:37:32.699 --> 01:37:34.479
sock or two in there to look a little bit better

01:37:34.479 --> 01:37:36.979
to some females and maybe some gay males, right?

01:37:37.539 --> 01:37:40.560
So we're sure that Jeffy X doesn't need to use

01:37:40.560 --> 01:37:42.989
that pouch. But in case he ever wants a little

01:37:42.989 --> 01:37:45.789
enhancement, Rob was kind enough to put that

01:37:45.789 --> 01:37:52.949
in his underwear. Right, Rob? Yeah, well, Iron

01:37:52.949 --> 01:37:56.430
Man went over the top this year for Jeffy. Uh

01:37:56.430 --> 01:38:01.510
-oh. Well, we'll find out Christmas. So this

01:38:01.510 --> 01:38:06.069
is a list of the wrapping paper scents that failed

01:38:06.069 --> 01:38:08.810
from the wrapping paper companies. The first

01:38:08.810 --> 01:38:12.050
one... The first one that failed is Dirty Diaper.

01:38:14.170 --> 01:38:16.449
Oh, definitely. Yeah, you think so? You think

01:38:16.449 --> 01:38:20.229
they're spot on? Oh, my God, yeah, yeah. Oh,

01:38:20.390 --> 01:38:29.550
my God. I can taste it now. That's one of them

01:38:29.550 --> 01:38:33.170
smells you can taste. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's

01:38:33.170 --> 01:38:40.159
something that's such a... That's like the flaming

01:38:40.159 --> 01:38:45.300
turds. Yep, that's like the popping flaming turds

01:38:45.300 --> 01:38:47.760
that permeate your hair and clothes and skin.

01:38:49.140 --> 01:38:52.039
All right, the second one that failed is spoiled

01:38:52.039 --> 01:38:58.979
milk. I agree with that. Yeah, I think so. The

01:38:58.979 --> 01:39:02.039
next one that failed the focus panels, and I

01:39:02.039 --> 01:39:05.500
think I kind of agree with this one too, burning

01:39:05.500 --> 01:39:12.729
rubber. No. No. Oh, Lucas Oil. I agree with it.

01:39:12.850 --> 01:39:20.670
No, no, no. I want burning rubber. Okay. The

01:39:20.670 --> 01:39:23.430
next one that failed to focus panels, and this

01:39:23.430 --> 01:39:27.569
is wrapping paper scents. I have no argument

01:39:27.569 --> 01:39:29.649
with you at all. I don't mind the smell of burning

01:39:29.649 --> 01:39:33.069
rubber either. I love burning rubber. I'm not

01:39:33.069 --> 01:39:36.869
arguing with you, Rob. I get it. All right. Come

01:39:36.869 --> 01:39:47.729
on. Yeah. Yep. The next one is cat urine. I think

01:39:47.729 --> 01:39:49.170
I would have to agree with that one, too. What

01:39:49.170 --> 01:39:52.829
do you think? Oh, yeah. Yep, yep, yep. So that

01:39:52.829 --> 01:39:56.149
wrapping paper scent failed. Yep, yep. Gone.

01:39:56.390 --> 01:39:59.550
The next one would be lacquer thinner. Yeah.

01:40:00.210 --> 01:40:04.090
Yeah, I know you work with it, too. No. No? That

01:40:04.090 --> 01:40:10.770
would be perfect. Lacquer thinner? Okay. All

01:40:10.770 --> 01:40:13.750
right. I'll let you have that one. I don't necessarily

01:40:13.750 --> 01:40:19.609
like it. Well, think about the cousins, everybody

01:40:19.609 --> 01:40:25.409
that you don't like. Oh, yeah. Yeah. See how

01:40:25.409 --> 01:40:29.710
much fun you can have now. Yeah. Okay. I changed

01:40:29.710 --> 01:40:32.090
my vote. You got me? Yeah. I changed my vote.

01:40:32.130 --> 01:40:35.079
Lack of dinner is fine. All I want to do for

01:40:35.079 --> 01:40:36.939
people I don't like is invent a jack -in -the

01:40:36.939 --> 01:40:38.600
-box when they open it up and it punches them

01:40:38.600 --> 01:40:40.520
in the fucking midsection. Right in the nuts.

01:40:41.239 --> 01:40:44.560
Exactly. You open it up and it goes, Yeah, it

01:40:44.560 --> 01:40:58.380
goes, Yeah, that's my dream of the perfect gift

01:40:58.380 --> 01:41:00.920
to someone I don't like. Like, hey, look, a jack

01:41:00.920 --> 01:41:15.829
-in -the -box. Yeah. um the next one yeah lacquer

01:41:15.829 --> 01:41:17.829
dinner is pretty tough stuff that's for sure

01:41:17.829 --> 01:41:22.970
um the next one that i have would be tuna casserole

01:41:22.970 --> 01:41:26.970
um i hate tuna i hate fish so i would have to

01:41:26.970 --> 01:41:41.350
agree would have to agree you rob Okay, that's

01:41:41.350 --> 01:41:43.789
fine. I'm not budging off tuna casserole. Lacquer

01:41:43.789 --> 01:41:46.229
thinner, I agree with you after you explained

01:41:46.229 --> 01:41:49.430
it. Tuna casserole, no. It was a tuna casserole.

01:41:49.710 --> 01:41:53.369
It was one of Mom's staple meals. I understand

01:41:53.369 --> 01:41:56.489
that nostalgia, and it was good, and all that.

01:41:56.729 --> 01:42:01.289
So, okay. Let's move on. All right. Chicken house.

01:42:02.550 --> 01:42:04.810
Anyone that's driven by a chicken house will

01:42:04.810 --> 01:42:09.130
know what we're saying. Is that not a rancid

01:42:09.130 --> 01:42:21.220
-ass smell? Okay. Next one would be toe crust.

01:42:22.100 --> 01:42:24.739
I never smelt toe crust, but I imagine it would

01:42:24.739 --> 01:42:36.600
be pretty rancid. What do you think, Rob? I have,

01:42:36.760 --> 01:42:41.840
but I'm not going to mention where. Okay. Because

01:42:41.840 --> 01:42:54.899
it was in the family. Uh -huh. Okay. Okay. The

01:42:54.899 --> 01:43:02.439
next one that failed of wrapping paper scents

01:43:02.439 --> 01:43:05.239
would be Jägermeister. I got an argument with

01:43:05.239 --> 01:43:07.159
that one. Listen, I don't necessarily like this.

01:43:07.859 --> 01:43:10.960
Nothing says Christmas more than Jägermeister.

01:43:11.180 --> 01:43:24.039
You know, I just don't get it. Yes. Yep. That's

01:43:24.039 --> 01:43:34.899
what helps you survive through Christmas. Actually,

01:43:41.260 --> 01:43:51.539
I could use a couple. Yeah. Just for a couple.

01:43:53.859 --> 01:43:56.060
Oh, gotcha, gotcha. I got what you're saying.

01:43:57.619 --> 01:44:03.939
All right. Okay. Hi, Hicksville. Hi, Albuquerque.

01:44:04.439 --> 01:44:09.479
Hi, Grandma Opal. Hi, Jimmy. Hi, Ricky. Thanks,

01:44:09.500 --> 01:44:12.739
everybody, for listening. Good night, assholes.

01:44:32.399 --> 01:44:35.800
You're not the only one. And I will make the

01:44:35.800 --> 01:44:42.819
trip after December 1st. Okay. I get married

01:44:42.819 --> 01:44:45.899
the 28th of November. I got a busy schedule.

01:44:46.399 --> 01:44:51.380
But I definitely, I want to meet Grandma Opal

01:44:51.380 --> 01:44:56.939
before I make my trip to Novoland. There you

01:44:56.939 --> 01:44:58.960
go, Jimmy. Send in your information, please.

01:44:58.960 --> 01:45:07.500
Grandma Opal. Yeah, not too long after you come

01:45:07.500 --> 01:45:09.979
aboard, Grandma Opal made her presence known.

01:45:10.020 --> 01:45:14.100
Well, Jimmy, but yeah. I love you, Grandma Opal.

01:45:14.279 --> 01:45:17.899
We love you. And I want to meet you. And I will

01:45:17.899 --> 01:45:22.600
make that trip. And as long as Jimmy gets Mark

01:45:22.600 --> 01:45:26.260
the information, then Mark will get it to me.

01:45:26.500 --> 01:45:32.359
Yep. All right. All right. Did you say your goodbyes,

01:45:32.359 --> 01:45:35.470
Rob? I'll shut this off. Good night, assholes.

01:45:35.529 --> 01:45:39.630
All right, everybody. I'm sorry I missed last

01:45:39.630 --> 01:45:44.310
week, but I think you can understand now. I don't

01:45:44.310 --> 01:45:49.329
know what's going on with my voice, but I'm going

01:45:49.329 --> 01:45:52.170
to work on it. There we go. I love everybody,

01:45:52.470 --> 01:45:56.850
and we will talk to you next time. Yep. Whack,

01:45:56.850 --> 01:46:02.430
whack. Good night, assholes. Oh, no. Looks like

01:46:02.430 --> 01:46:05.569
the show's over, kids. Mark has explosive diarrhea

01:46:05.569 --> 01:46:09.590
and can't afford a wireless mic. Fear not, assholes.

01:46:09.609 --> 01:46:11.829
They'll be back invading your ear holes soon.