WEBVTT

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Welcome again. We're happy you chose us. Come

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on in. Wash yourself off. Would you enjoy a bourbon

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and coke? There's a liquor store down the road.

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If you go, I need rolling papers. Well, since

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you're here, let's get this daily douchebag pledge

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out of the way. All right, bitches, swing your

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hips and pelvic thrust. Shout it out with me.

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I, Joe or Jane Listener, promise to download

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every podcast. I, Joe or Jane Listener, promise

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to make... All friends, family members, and workmates

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download the show. I, Joe or Jane Listener, promise

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to grab idle computers, work computers, friends

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computers, community computers, and other assorted

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phones and listening devices and download the

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show from there. I, Joe or Jane Listener, will

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download the show and constantly barrage everyone

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with show name and platforms. I, Joe or Jane

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Listener, promise to wear a chicken costume and

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screen the show's name from my front yard. And

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finally, because of our 13 -year -old boy humor,

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you must go to Knobloch Cooter Licking in Uranus,

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Missouri to take selfies with the signs. If you

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go to Uranus, go to the fudge factory. Yes, there's

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a fudge factory in Uranus. No joke. Here at Two

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Douchebags and a Microphone, we don't stand behind

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our journalistic integrity. Go ahead and assume

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we got the story wrong. At least we admit it.

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Not like all those other guys. We can and will

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lie if it makes the story better. Hey, look.

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I think we found land. Oh, my God. I think we're

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safe. Oh, no. It's an island of horrible jokes.

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Someone took the fifth month out of my calendar.

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I'm dismayed. And now, Deep Thoughts with Mark.

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So, if I have a glass of ice water, and the ice

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melts into the water, is my water then watered

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down? Hmm. I may never know. I just made a belt

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out of all my old watches. Wow, that's unique.

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Yeah, it was a waste of time. Slash was on Eddie

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Trunk's Trunk Nation the other day. Eddie asked

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Slash if they planned on doing any U .S. dates

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next year. Slash's reply was yes, we are doing

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a U .S. tour next year as well as another album.

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He said they have more than enough material for

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a full album. This is great news for all the

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Guns N' Roses fans, including myself. And now

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we look in on the adventures of the technical

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explanation guy. Why, excuse me, my dear chap.

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Could you please pass the sodium chloride? Do

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you mean the salt? Why, yes. Yes, I do. Then

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just say the salt, you dumb motherfucker. Two

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douchebags and a microphone. I'm Mark here in

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the Kansas City vicinity at the Talk is Cheap

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studio, roughly a mile point two away from the

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famous Jess and Jim's Steakhouse, home of the

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huge ass steak on a hot plate and a baked potato

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the size of your head. That we used to deal with.

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Yes. I'm doing awesome. I had a great weekend.

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I had a very busy weekend. And, yeah, I'm having

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a good few days. How are you? Oh, I'm doing pretty

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good. Not too bad at all. I mean, you know, had

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a lot, a lot of stuff going on. But you know

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what? I don't even want to get into it. You know,

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we had to put down an old cat today. But I mean,

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they're just, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, family

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members, you know, close friends, sick. It's

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been kind of a trying time. But you know what?

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That's why we're here right now. We're going

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to have a little fun on this podcast like we

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always try to do. And try to, you know, make

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everybody smile a little bit. And hopefully,

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you know, everyone has a little grin when they're

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listening to us and enjoys themselves. So, you

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know, there's a lot of stuff going on in life

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that's negative. And we're here to try to counteract

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that. Would you say that, Rob? Oh, definitely.

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Yep. Because we need that in our lives. Yes,

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we do. Try to give it to everybody else. Yeah,

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yep. And to me, that's one of the best gifts.

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that you can ever give someone is the reason

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to laugh, the reason to love life, enjoy yourself,

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not take everything so seriously. You know, I

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hear people, I've had a lot of people go, well,

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what are you going to do with your podcast? Paranormal?

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Are you going to go into politics? I'm like,

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fuck no. No. I'm going to have a little fun with

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this fucking thing, and I know you and I spoke

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about it plenty of times, even before you joined

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the podcast. We spoke about this, right? And

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we decided that this is for fun. We don't want

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to talk about... Politics, we don't want to talk

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about the hurricane getting ready to fucking

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destroy Jamaica. We don't want to talk about

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any of that. What we want to do is we want to

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bring up silly stories, have a little banter,

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and have a little fun. And that's what this podcast

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is about. And that's how come our name is Two

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Douchebags and a Microphone, not Point Counterpoint

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or Analyzing the Government or, oh no, Spooky

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Ghosts, you know. Nothing like that. We're two

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douchebags, a microphone, and welcome. We welcome

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you to come on in. Our listenership is great,

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and we love you guys, and we hope. And, you know,

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if our show makes you just a little bit happier

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in a day, please write us, right? Don't you want

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to hear that, Rob? Yeah. Yes, yes. What is it

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now? I'm having a shirt sprap. What? Douchebags

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.com? Oh, oh. Okay, it's twodouchesatmail .com.

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Yeah, yeah. I'm having a shirt problem. I don't

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have it in my brain yet. You know, this all started...

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We've only had like eight emails. I know. This

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all started when Topher and I used to joke around.

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We didn't have an email at all. And we used to

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go, yeah, twodouchesatexcite .com, twodouchesatmindspring

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.com. We just made this shit up. But these are

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real emails. This is a real one, yeah. But then

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we had the website, which nobody went to. So

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we're like, all right, screw that. Why pay all

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that money if nobody's going to it? Okay, so

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nobody went to that website. So we're like, you

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know what, we had to take that email away. Then

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we had another one that was too complicated.

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People couldn't get it right. People are always,

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you know, when they did get through, go, I tried

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seven times. So it's like, all right, then how

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about this? Two douches at mail .com. That's

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pretty simple, and I think most people can get

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it first try. So, all right, I'm going to go

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into this. I recorded the sports show from the

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Basin Park in downtown Eureka Springs. I was

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interrupted by two ghost tours, right? And did

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you hear the sports show yet, Rob, or not? No,

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I have not heard the sports show. Okay, well,

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number one, Mystery Guy couldn't make it. He

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wasn't in Eureka Springs, so I had to do one

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on the spot. So one of these, I was at the Basin

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Park recording this. And one was a female I'd

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never seen before. And the second was my old

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friend that I torture with the booze because

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the booze that I deliver on the balcony every

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time he said the word ghost. You know, I've spoken

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that several times, right? The tour starts at

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the Basin Park. It goes up to the hotel, which

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is right across from the balcony that I usually

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sit at when we're in Eureka Springs at the Flatiron

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Flats. And I can hear him as plain as day speaking

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about the ghost tour. And every time he said

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I would be up there, and every time he would

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say the word ghost, I go, boo! and it would he

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was just so irritated with me because people

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start not paying attention to him looking up

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looking around you know all that stuff so here

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here he is and here i am recording a podcast

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right so the lady come up there i had to pause

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it because she was really loud she had a uh i

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believe a police uh um megaphone and you couldn't

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really hear over it so i paused it and then he

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came up and so um I decided, well, I better pause

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it again because I was thinking like, you know,

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he was going to like give me some shit or nothing.

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But anyhow, I, you know, I thought he was going

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to like something because I give him so much

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shit. I thought he was going to do something,

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but he didn't do his credit. Yeah. I didn't recognize

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him at first. He dyed his hair, I think. But

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it took me a minute and I figured it out. And

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I don't think he recognized me at all, and I

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think that's one reason he didn't say something

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or flip me off or something, because this guy's

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pretty mad at me, because I interrupted so many

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of his ghost tours just screwing around doing

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that, right? So he goes on for around 10 minutes,

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right? And then he paused for questions right

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after. No one had a question, so I was sitting

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there on the bench with my headphones on. I jump

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up, I took my headphones off, and I asked if

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the ghosts wore underwear underneath the sheet.

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everybody yes everybody cracked up laughing he

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was so pissed he started to hiccup he was like

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and i'm like oh fuck and his face is red so i

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thought he's gonna stroke out and i'm like oh

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shit i got him flustered this guy's gonna drop

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dead i'm gonna be charged because i was fucking

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with him and he stroked out okay so i'm like

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oh shit so he is flustered So everyone had a

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good chuckle when I asked that. So then I got

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even more bold and said we needed to start an

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undergarment for Ghost Drive. Well, Rob, I overstayed

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my welcome. No one laughed. And it got a little

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uncomfortable. So I'm sitting there going, hmm.

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I'm like, oh, okay. I took it too far. If I would

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have just left it as, do they wear underwear?

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Everyone laughed. He goes on. He's a little flustered.

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He's hiccuping and pissed. Okay, all right. But

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everything goes on. So I said that, you know,

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we needed to start an undergarment drive for

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the ghosts. And nobody thought it was funny.

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Nobody thought it was cool. Everyone just stood

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there looking at me. And I was very uncomfortable.

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So I look over next to everybody. And there's

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the coffee house that's right underneath us at

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the Flatiron Flats. I ran in real quick. I bought

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the guide at Cappuccino. I walked up to him,

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gave it to him. He looked at me funny, and I

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think he thought it was going to be another joke

00:12:16.559 --> 00:12:18.940
or something, right? And he finally took the

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cappuccino, and it was getting pretty chilly,

00:12:21.580 --> 00:12:24.019
so he really did appreciate it. He said, thank

00:12:24.019 --> 00:12:27.080
you, so I guess he doesn't hate me anymore. That

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is until the next time I'm there and I start

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yelling ghosts again. Then he will hate me. Yeah,

00:12:31.559 --> 00:12:36.980
but isn't that a great question? Do ghosts wear

00:12:36.980 --> 00:12:41.330
underwear? Yeah. That's not so bad, is it? I

00:12:41.330 --> 00:12:44.330
want to know. Do they wear underwear? Do they

00:12:44.330 --> 00:12:47.850
free ball? I want to know this shit. You know,

00:12:47.870 --> 00:12:52.309
like, if I throw flower up, like I said I was

00:12:52.309 --> 00:12:55.090
doing at the Crescent episode, right, to catch

00:12:55.090 --> 00:12:57.909
ghosts, I mean, am I going to, like, see them

00:12:57.909 --> 00:13:01.029
naked? Is that it? Or, you know. Well, if you

00:13:01.029 --> 00:13:04.909
think about it, any TV show or any movie we've

00:13:04.909 --> 00:13:12.050
seen about ghosts, they have clothes on. Yeah.

00:13:12.050 --> 00:13:23.289
Yeah. So, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it is. No, no, no.

00:13:23.350 --> 00:13:25.889
I think it's a legitimate question, although

00:13:25.889 --> 00:13:28.149
I meant it just to piss the guy off and it worked.

00:13:28.690 --> 00:13:35.029
But, you know, it is a legitimate question, though.

00:13:35.049 --> 00:13:38.409
But it was funny because the guy started hiccuping.

00:13:39.529 --> 00:13:42.309
I'm like going, fuck. Yeah, yeah, he knew you

00:13:42.309 --> 00:13:45.210
had it. Oh, he was mad. I mean, I guess he kind

00:13:45.210 --> 00:13:46.830
of, I don't know, maybe it's like a Tourette's

00:13:46.830 --> 00:13:48.870
thing kind of or something. When you get mad,

00:13:48.950 --> 00:13:52.250
you're like, and his face turned around. I'm

00:13:52.250 --> 00:13:54.370
like, oh, fuck, man. Didn't mean to do that.

00:13:54.549 --> 00:13:56.850
Well, I gave him the cappuccino. He was happy.

00:13:57.370 --> 00:13:59.789
Everyone else looked to me like a kind guy that

00:13:59.789 --> 00:14:01.830
just gave him a cappuccino instead of the asshole

00:14:01.830 --> 00:14:04.289
that interrupted the whole thing. And I left.

00:14:04.370 --> 00:14:06.779
I went back to the bench. And they left and I

00:14:06.779 --> 00:14:09.539
started recording the podcast again. And I didn't

00:14:09.539 --> 00:14:11.600
say anything about it either. I just like went

00:14:11.600 --> 00:14:14.139
on. Okay, everything's over. So I was talking

00:14:14.139 --> 00:14:16.299
about the commanders, you know, and I just went

00:14:16.299 --> 00:14:18.480
on from there. It's pretty funny. If anyone would

00:14:18.480 --> 00:14:20.379
have seen what actually happened in between those

00:14:20.379 --> 00:14:22.700
10 minutes, they would have been rolling. But

00:14:22.700 --> 00:14:26.340
anyhow, and then the guide, I got like a free

00:14:26.340 --> 00:14:28.700
tour from that lady. There was so much stuff

00:14:28.700 --> 00:14:31.159
I found out. I mean, it was really good about

00:14:31.159 --> 00:14:34.950
the town and why. You know, they always have

00:14:34.950 --> 00:14:36.929
these EMF, I believe is what they call them,

00:14:36.970 --> 00:14:39.210
the ghost hunting machines, right, that measure

00:14:39.210 --> 00:14:43.690
spirits and all that, and the infrared and ultraviolet

00:14:43.690 --> 00:14:46.129
and all that stuff, right? Well, the reason,

00:14:46.830 --> 00:14:51.950
just the Crescent isn't the biggest reason why

00:14:51.950 --> 00:14:55.169
they say Eureka Springs is haunted. That isn't

00:14:55.169 --> 00:14:58.809
the biggest reason. The biggest reason is the

00:14:58.809 --> 00:15:02.919
magnetic springs there. It is that shell rock

00:15:02.919 --> 00:15:06.659
and magnesium in the water, they create a chemical

00:15:06.659 --> 00:15:09.919
reaction to make the springs magnetic. And the

00:15:09.919 --> 00:15:13.379
top paranormalists think that the magnetic springs

00:15:13.379 --> 00:15:16.919
conduct spirits. And that's why, because there's

00:15:16.919 --> 00:15:21.799
thousands of springs in that one area. Just in

00:15:21.799 --> 00:15:24.320
that one area, there's springs everywhere, and

00:15:24.320 --> 00:15:26.759
they're all magnetic because of the shell rock

00:15:26.759 --> 00:15:31.730
and the magnesium in the water. I have heard

00:15:31.730 --> 00:15:35.450
that theory. Yeah, and that is the biggest reason

00:15:35.450 --> 00:15:37.750
why they say the place is haunted. Not because

00:15:37.750 --> 00:15:39.929
of the Crescent. I was wrong this whole time.

00:15:39.970 --> 00:15:43.429
Well, the Crescent doesn't hurt anything. They've

00:15:43.429 --> 00:15:46.850
had their own history. Yeah, they've had a lot

00:15:46.850 --> 00:15:48.750
of history. Look it up if you don't get a chance.

00:15:48.870 --> 00:15:52.250
Look up the Crescent Hotel and look up the history

00:15:52.250 --> 00:15:54.909
and you will see a lot of crazy things that happened

00:15:54.909 --> 00:16:00.120
there. I don't know, maybe, I think it's Wednesday.

00:16:00.259 --> 00:16:02.940
Yeah, it's Wednesday. We found out where the

00:16:02.940 --> 00:16:05.620
tornado sirens in Eureka Springs are. they're

00:16:05.620 --> 00:16:07.539
all on the ridge but you can hear them pretty

00:16:07.539 --> 00:16:09.539
well downtown because i always wondered that

00:16:09.539 --> 00:16:11.379
you know they have quite a they have quite a

00:16:11.379 --> 00:16:13.279
bit of bad weather as a matter of fact we missed

00:16:13.279 --> 00:16:15.460
a hell of a storm that shut all the power down

00:16:15.460 --> 00:16:18.639
again to the whole town a week before we got

00:16:18.639 --> 00:16:21.299
there last time you know we got there and the

00:16:21.299 --> 00:16:23.679
power was off except for our side where we went

00:16:23.679 --> 00:16:25.960
we didn't go to flat iron flats for some reason

00:16:25.960 --> 00:16:28.299
we decided to go somewhere else so we still have

00:16:28.299 --> 00:16:32.379
power but about a week ago probably two weeks

00:16:32.379 --> 00:16:35.039
now something like that but They had a big storm

00:16:35.039 --> 00:16:36.519
come through, and it shut out all the power.

00:16:36.659 --> 00:16:40.100
So they get bad storms. So I found out they test

00:16:40.100 --> 00:16:43.639
them at high noon every Wednesday. KC tests their

00:16:43.639 --> 00:16:47.059
tornado sirens every Wednesday at 11 a .m. So

00:16:47.059 --> 00:16:49.320
I started talking to Val about what our parents

00:16:49.320 --> 00:16:51.879
did about tornadoes when we were growing up.

00:16:52.179 --> 00:16:55.080
And Val said her dad didn't do anything. He just

00:16:55.080 --> 00:16:57.879
looked out the door or window, right? Well, I

00:16:57.879 --> 00:17:00.720
remembered that my parents used to make me and

00:17:00.720 --> 00:17:02.580
me only, because I was the youngest one, go to

00:17:02.580 --> 00:17:06.279
the basement. right and you know this scared

00:17:06.279 --> 00:17:08.240
the shit out of me you know everyone's like oh

00:17:08.240 --> 00:17:10.140
shit this big bad tornado is gonna come kill

00:17:10.140 --> 00:17:12.559
us all you know and then they throw me in a in

00:17:12.559 --> 00:17:16.119
a basement that's pitch black right and i'm like

00:17:16.119 --> 00:17:20.180
fuck this so i used to scream out you guys if

00:17:20.180 --> 00:17:22.079
you guys you guys need to get down here with

00:17:22.079 --> 00:17:24.259
me if you don't if the tornado hits i'm gonna

00:17:24.259 --> 00:17:29.220
be a fucking orphan and They just go, shut up,

00:17:29.259 --> 00:17:32.420
and shut the door again. I go, you guys are unreal.

00:17:33.079 --> 00:17:35.299
You all are going to die, and I'm going to live,

00:17:35.359 --> 00:17:37.359
and I'm going to starve to death because you

00:17:37.359 --> 00:17:58.319
guys aren't here. Thanks a lot. No, I know. And

00:17:58.319 --> 00:18:01.619
that used to piss me off. Go ahead. I'm sorry.

00:18:05.200 --> 00:18:11.039
Well, I always contested this. I was like, hang

00:18:11.039 --> 00:18:14.960
on. Okay. I understand. I understand. I'm the

00:18:14.960 --> 00:18:18.039
youngest one and I'm the legacy. Okay. But I

00:18:18.039 --> 00:18:21.140
have a brother and a sister and you guys. And

00:18:21.140 --> 00:18:22.640
you guys are all just going to get flattened

00:18:22.640 --> 00:18:24.279
by the tornado. And I'm going to have to sit

00:18:24.279 --> 00:18:26.740
here and fend for myself with bricks on my ass

00:18:26.740 --> 00:18:31.539
and nose and face. Yeah. Yeah. So I'm like, hey,

00:18:31.640 --> 00:18:35.960
at least let me do me the soul to let me die

00:18:35.960 --> 00:18:38.759
with all you guys. Or you all come down here

00:18:38.759 --> 00:18:41.799
and live with me. Yeah. But don't make me a fucking

00:18:41.799 --> 00:18:45.019
orphan down here in this basement. Three days

00:18:45.019 --> 00:18:51.480
later, they dig me out. Yes. Like, this is bullshit.

00:18:52.119 --> 00:18:54.319
I'm going to live. It's going to take three days

00:18:54.319 --> 00:18:56.680
to dig me out. I'm going to be frail. I'm going

00:18:56.680 --> 00:18:58.960
to have every bone broken in my body and no family.

00:18:59.279 --> 00:19:04.119
Thanks a lot, guys. Thanks a lot. So, but then,

00:19:04.200 --> 00:19:06.019
you know, later on when we got older and we were

00:19:06.019 --> 00:19:08.880
teenagers, then we were, they didn't like us

00:19:08.880 --> 00:19:10.579
doing it, but they couldn't really stop us, you

00:19:10.579 --> 00:19:12.579
know. But we'd jump on the roof and look for

00:19:12.579 --> 00:19:15.180
them. You did too. You know, it was the dumbest

00:19:15.180 --> 00:19:17.359
thing in the world you could do. Not necessarily

00:19:17.359 --> 00:19:22.619
because of... That was a dumb thing, too. I remember

00:19:22.619 --> 00:19:27.319
there was one in... This was younger, I think,

00:19:27.339 --> 00:19:29.819
before I met you, but I don't know. I'm not sure

00:19:29.819 --> 00:19:33.319
how old I was. But there was one in Lewisburg,

00:19:33.420 --> 00:19:35.319
really close to Cleveland. It was headed right

00:19:35.319 --> 00:19:38.700
for Cleveland. So I forgot whose car it was,

00:19:38.859 --> 00:19:40.920
but anyhow, they're like, hey, let's go look

00:19:40.920 --> 00:19:43.900
for it. So we run out the state line, okay, and

00:19:43.900 --> 00:19:46.480
we kind of see some wall clouds and it looks

00:19:46.480 --> 00:19:49.400
like things are twisting around, right? Then

00:19:49.400 --> 00:19:52.759
the car dies. And we're all looking at each other

00:19:52.759 --> 00:19:55.180
going, what do we do now? We're out in the middle

00:19:55.180 --> 00:19:57.539
of nowhere, and it looks like there's this fucking

00:19:57.539 --> 00:20:01.319
huge storm, at least large hail, if not a tornado,

00:20:01.579 --> 00:20:04.420
is coming right at us. So we did the only smart

00:20:04.420 --> 00:20:07.099
thing is we ran like fuck and made it back to

00:20:07.099 --> 00:20:24.680
town. We ran a mile. Do what? Uh -huh. Uh -huh.

00:20:25.480 --> 00:21:05.000
Uh -huh. Oops. And I said, hey, Dad. He goes,

00:21:05.079 --> 00:21:08.460
what? I said, look. He goes, what? I said, look

00:21:08.460 --> 00:21:10.359
over your other shoulder. Quit watching this

00:21:10.359 --> 00:21:14.740
one. Look at the other one. And we hit that next

00:21:14.740 --> 00:21:17.839
gravel. Like I said, we're doing that 81 Trans

00:21:17.839 --> 00:21:20.720
Am. We hit that next gravel road, and we were

00:21:20.720 --> 00:21:24.900
out of there. That one looked like it was heading

00:21:24.900 --> 00:21:27.039
right towards us. Well, if it doesn't look like

00:21:27.039 --> 00:21:35.569
it's moving. Yeah, that doesn't surprise me.

00:21:35.730 --> 00:21:38.369
The Tornado Alley seems to have shifted a bit.

00:21:41.349 --> 00:21:51.809
Oh, gosh. Cass and Bates County used to get a

00:21:51.809 --> 00:21:54.730
big lion's share of them. They used to get them

00:21:54.730 --> 00:21:58.349
all the time. And luckily for us, Tornado Alley

00:21:58.349 --> 00:22:00.450
seems to have shifted to the east a little bit.

00:22:01.720 --> 00:22:05.119
We still get tornadoes, but, number one, we rarely

00:22:05.119 --> 00:22:08.900
get those EF5s, those huge ones, or even 4s or

00:22:08.900 --> 00:22:11.859
3s. Usually, whenever we get one anymore, it's

00:22:11.859 --> 00:22:16.180
a 1. And, I mean, rarely are they a 2. And we

00:22:16.180 --> 00:22:17.880
want to keep it like that. We don't want the

00:22:17.880 --> 00:22:20.299
big, huge ones. And the little ones that kind

00:22:20.299 --> 00:22:22.759
of dart down and go back up. And we're hoping

00:22:22.759 --> 00:22:24.859
that weather pattern stays the same, where we

00:22:24.859 --> 00:22:27.180
don't have as many. And we certainly don't have

00:22:27.180 --> 00:22:32.470
the big supercell ones and all that. So anyhow,

00:22:32.750 --> 00:22:35.390
we got off on everything again. So I'm going

00:22:35.390 --> 00:22:41.369
to try to head this back the other way. Eureka

00:22:41.369 --> 00:22:43.150
Springs was packed full of people because they

00:22:43.150 --> 00:22:46.630
have the world's largest zombie crawl. You can

00:22:46.630 --> 00:22:49.190
look it up on Facebook, dude. The entire downtown

00:22:49.190 --> 00:22:52.150
was packed with zombies. But here's the deal.

00:22:52.619 --> 00:22:55.220
um they came up with the there was a lot of unique

00:22:55.220 --> 00:22:57.660
makeups and outfits i mean we couldn't stay for

00:22:57.660 --> 00:22:59.819
it because i booked it too late i didn't know

00:22:59.819 --> 00:23:02.059
about the crawl when i booked it i was i booked

00:23:02.059 --> 00:23:04.460
it because my birthday and the fall colors right

00:23:04.460 --> 00:23:08.680
well um then we start seeing all these people

00:23:08.680 --> 00:23:11.720
come in about wednesday and certainly thursday

00:23:11.720 --> 00:23:15.640
and then definitely friday so And then people

00:23:15.640 --> 00:23:17.880
are going, are you in town for the zombie crawl?

00:23:18.220 --> 00:23:23.279
No, what zombie crawl? And so then we find out

00:23:23.279 --> 00:23:25.960
that it's the world's largest zombie crawl. And

00:23:25.960 --> 00:23:31.980
you remember how Kansas City looked during the

00:23:31.980 --> 00:23:34.980
Super Bowl parade where all you see is this red

00:23:34.980 --> 00:23:39.680
all over downtown? This is what the zombie crawl

00:23:39.680 --> 00:23:41.920
looked like in Eureka Springs. All of downtown

00:23:41.920 --> 00:23:46.099
was full of zombies marching up Spring Street,

00:23:46.160 --> 00:23:50.359
from Main Street to Spring Street. So all these

00:23:50.359 --> 00:23:52.779
people are in town, so we wanted to do this,

00:23:52.799 --> 00:23:58.039
right? So I go to the people that rent out the

00:23:58.039 --> 00:24:00.759
place that we stay at. I'm like, hey, can I add

00:24:00.759 --> 00:24:05.630
a night? Not on your life. it doesn't matter

00:24:05.630 --> 00:24:07.250
if you have a million dollars right now you're

00:24:07.250 --> 00:24:08.869
not getting a room i'm like what he goes yeah

00:24:08.869 --> 00:24:11.990
this is the world's largest zombie crawl anywhere

00:24:11.990 --> 00:24:15.609
and people come from all over the world to observe

00:24:15.609 --> 00:24:18.950
this or be in it i'm like wow so we're staying

00:24:18.950 --> 00:24:21.109
at a balcony that overlooks where the parade

00:24:21.109 --> 00:24:24.609
route so we couldn't get that again though i

00:24:24.609 --> 00:24:28.369
i um i had the new orleans hotel who um the They

00:24:28.369 --> 00:24:30.509
have the same owners as the Flatiron Flats where

00:24:30.509 --> 00:24:32.470
we stay. I talk to them, hey, you got any rooms

00:24:32.470 --> 00:24:35.250
here? Because they have a balcony there too.

00:24:35.829 --> 00:24:38.490
Nope. And then they're like, you're not going

00:24:38.490 --> 00:24:40.430
to find any. So I'm like, all right. So I go,

00:24:40.509 --> 00:24:43.349
hey, how about next year? Nope, we're already

00:24:43.349 --> 00:24:48.369
booked. Fuck. So it's like, it's sold out like

00:24:48.369 --> 00:24:51.170
two years in advance. Every room in that whole

00:24:51.170 --> 00:24:55.809
town is sold out. It's the last weekend, the

00:24:55.809 --> 00:25:00.609
last Saturday. of october every year and they

00:25:00.609 --> 00:25:02.930
are always sold out they're sold out two years

00:25:02.930 --> 00:25:06.529
in advance and i'm like wow and then not only

00:25:06.529 --> 00:25:08.650
that but the rooms are astronomical let's say

00:25:08.650 --> 00:25:12.109
they're normally 150 they're like 400 i mean

00:25:12.109 --> 00:25:14.869
because they're so far in demand but i had no

00:25:14.869 --> 00:25:17.069
as many years i've been going there i had no

00:25:17.069 --> 00:25:19.289
idea they had did you know that about them they

00:25:19.289 --> 00:25:28.180
had that huge zombie crawl rob Rob, you there?

00:25:29.240 --> 00:25:31.720
Yeah, I'm here. Okay, what happened? You all

00:25:31.720 --> 00:25:34.500
right? Everything good? Yeah, everything's good.

00:25:34.740 --> 00:25:37.940
Okay. No, no, actually, I was listening to you.

00:25:38.579 --> 00:25:42.319
I had muted just for making that call. I forgot

00:25:42.319 --> 00:25:47.440
to unmute. Okay. No, I have never heard of that,

00:25:47.539 --> 00:25:51.039
but it sounds very interesting. Oh, no, I want

00:25:51.039 --> 00:25:53.940
to, I definitely, we'll make it there sometime,

00:25:54.200 --> 00:26:07.380
so. Yeah. Oh, yeah, I want to see it. I just

00:26:07.380 --> 00:26:09.700
want to observe it one time, and I want to get

00:26:09.700 --> 00:26:12.119
a balcony room so we can just sit there and watch.

00:26:12.619 --> 00:26:14.960
And I don't want to go down there for Mardi Gras

00:26:14.960 --> 00:26:17.440
because Mardi Gras, number one, the weather's

00:26:17.440 --> 00:26:19.220
shitty down there during that time because they

00:26:19.220 --> 00:26:22.789
get a lot of... I guess they don't get so much

00:26:22.789 --> 00:26:24.569
ice anymore is what they're saying, but they

00:26:24.569 --> 00:26:26.630
used to get quite a bit of ice. And they also

00:26:26.630 --> 00:26:30.130
get bad storms, too, because that's closer to

00:26:30.130 --> 00:26:32.990
their spring, the end of February, than us. Our

00:26:32.990 --> 00:26:36.390
spring's a little bit later on. They are more

00:26:36.390 --> 00:26:40.230
prone to ice storms down there. Yeah, and I don't

00:26:40.230 --> 00:26:41.990
want to be there on those hills with any type

00:26:41.990 --> 00:26:46.009
of ice at all. So I don't go down there for Mardi

00:26:46.009 --> 00:26:48.650
Gras. But I want to go down there for the zombie

00:26:48.650 --> 00:26:51.930
crawl, but we'll see if it ever happens. So I

00:26:51.930 --> 00:26:55.210
was watching Sunday Night Football, right? And

00:26:55.210 --> 00:26:58.710
the Steelers had these ugly -ass jerseys. They're

00:26:58.710 --> 00:27:03.529
grayish pants and just this horrible, ugly, yellow

00:27:03.529 --> 00:27:06.809
jersey with the ugly gray pants. I know, right?

00:27:07.329 --> 00:27:18.420
Yeah, you saw it. I was on the road all weekend.

00:27:18.960 --> 00:27:21.599
And I'll explain more later about that. But,

00:27:21.660 --> 00:27:24.940
yeah, I caught part of the game. That was one

00:27:24.940 --> 00:27:27.579
of the ugliest jerseys I think I have ever seen.

00:27:28.420 --> 00:27:32.140
They look like high school jerseys. Yeah, yeah.

00:27:34.019 --> 00:27:37.039
So I come up with a conclusion, Rob. If they

00:27:37.039 --> 00:27:39.079
wear those ugly ass jerseys, they should have

00:27:39.079 --> 00:27:41.559
to forfeit the game. What do you think? Yeah,

00:27:41.559 --> 00:27:49.859
definitely. So, finally, my mom's birthday is

00:27:49.859 --> 00:27:54.440
tomorrow. So, we threw her a surprise. I will

00:27:54.440 --> 00:27:57.440
tell her it's her 85th. God bless her. She's

00:27:57.440 --> 00:28:02.299
hanging in there. Yeah. So, Val and I invited

00:28:02.299 --> 00:28:06.920
some family over because it was my birthday Saturday.

00:28:07.019 --> 00:28:08.980
She didn't catch it. She thought it was for my

00:28:08.980 --> 00:28:12.420
birthday, right? So, we got her pretty good on

00:28:12.420 --> 00:28:16.980
that one. um all on all this family to come over

00:28:16.980 --> 00:28:19.819
but they did and it was great you know we got

00:28:19.819 --> 00:28:22.660
as many of us as her grandkids together as we

00:28:22.660 --> 00:28:25.940
could and um and we have my brother's widow there

00:28:25.940 --> 00:28:28.420
who she hasn't seen her in quite a while yeah

00:28:28.420 --> 00:28:33.799
you know diane and uh yeah so um it was great

00:28:33.799 --> 00:28:37.160
uh so it surprised mom and she had a great time

00:28:37.160 --> 00:28:41.200
and which is fantastic so That was fun. So then

00:28:41.200 --> 00:28:44.839
we met family at Anthony's. My two wonderful

00:28:44.839 --> 00:28:47.500
bonus daughters and their families got me a neon

00:28:47.500 --> 00:28:52.500
Aussie sign for me. Oh, dude. I'm flattered that

00:28:52.500 --> 00:28:54.500
they bothered to figure out such a perfect gift,

00:28:54.559 --> 00:28:58.440
Rob. I was just floored when they said, we think

00:28:58.440 --> 00:29:00.019
you're going to really like your gift. I'm like,

00:29:00.099 --> 00:29:01.759
all right, okay, probably a massage or something.

00:29:01.880 --> 00:29:04.460
Sounds great. You know, all that, right? But

00:29:04.460 --> 00:29:13.039
then... Okay. Somebody of mine wants to make

00:29:13.039 --> 00:29:16.720
me. Okay. I'll tell you about it after the show.

00:29:17.059 --> 00:29:23.380
Okay. All right. Sounds good. So I looked at

00:29:23.380 --> 00:29:25.900
him like, oh, my God, that is a perfect freaking

00:29:25.900 --> 00:29:28.059
gift. You know, I struck gold with those two.

00:29:28.279 --> 00:29:31.680
You know, them and their husband and kids are

00:29:31.680 --> 00:29:34.700
just excellent people. And I struck gold marrying

00:29:34.700 --> 00:29:36.720
into that family. I can tell you that right now.

00:29:37.900 --> 00:29:41.099
They are wonderful people, and I was just flattened

00:29:41.099 --> 00:29:44.279
because they thought that much and put that much

00:29:44.279 --> 00:29:46.740
thought into a gift of mine to nail it that perfectly.

00:29:47.279 --> 00:29:52.279
I have more, but we have a Jeffy X coming up,

00:29:52.279 --> 00:29:54.680
hopefully. We have an email, so we probably better

00:29:54.680 --> 00:29:58.619
get to booking on this thing, right? Yeah. Yeah,

00:29:58.660 --> 00:30:02.279
probably better. All right, Rob, go ahead. Okay,

00:30:02.319 --> 00:30:07.160
my personal is kind of out of this world. Okay.

00:30:22.199 --> 00:32:36.819
Okay. Okay. Okay. Wow. Okay. Wow. Okay. Wow.

00:32:42.599 --> 00:33:16.359
Okay. Wow. Yeah. It doesn't sound like it. I

00:33:16.359 --> 00:33:18.819
mean, of course, we don't know everything of

00:33:18.819 --> 00:33:21.000
what the government is doing military -wise.

00:33:21.200 --> 00:33:22.980
They're not going to let us in on it, right?

00:33:25.210 --> 00:33:27.230
So it could be something like that, but I don't

00:33:27.230 --> 00:33:29.390
know. You know, that sounds highly suspicious

00:33:29.390 --> 00:33:40.430
to me. What about you? Yes, that is extraterrestrial,

00:33:40.450 --> 00:33:42.349
and they're looking for someone to grab because

00:33:42.349 --> 00:33:44.569
there's people out there everywhere, right? Out

00:33:44.569 --> 00:33:47.410
there in the sticks. They'll never catch them.

00:33:47.470 --> 00:33:52.569
They're like, hey, get this guy. Yes, yeah, we'll

00:33:52.569 --> 00:33:55.970
leave it right there. Okay, we are pulling away

00:33:55.970 --> 00:33:59.069
from the table. We're wiping our mouth off with

00:33:59.069 --> 00:34:03.589
a bib. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're pulling away from

00:34:03.589 --> 00:34:05.490
the table. We're wiping our mouth off with a

00:34:05.490 --> 00:34:08.010
bib, and we will see you right after the break.

00:34:10.130 --> 00:34:15.630
Yes, and we will have some emails when we come

00:34:15.630 --> 00:34:25.079
back. All right, we'll be right back. Two douchebags

00:34:25.079 --> 00:34:28.000
and a microphone invade your ear holes in...

00:34:28.000 --> 00:34:32.219
Hey! Who took a dump in the cooler? Now it's

00:34:32.219 --> 00:34:38.519
time for Pickup Lines from a Loser. There's something

00:34:38.519 --> 00:34:40.739
wrong with my phone. It doesn't have your number

00:34:40.739 --> 00:34:46.880
in it. Next up, Things Overheard in Hell. Gary

00:34:46.880 --> 00:34:51.480
Glitter has been named the lead singer in the

00:34:51.480 --> 00:34:56.070
boys' choir of hell. Everybody knows Mark is

00:34:56.070 --> 00:34:58.449
a fucking idiot. But Mark would like to take

00:34:58.449 --> 00:35:01.090
this moment to remind you. You're listening to

00:35:01.090 --> 00:35:04.909
this fucking idiot. Hey there, fuckstick. You're

00:35:04.909 --> 00:35:07.110
just in time for brand new feature news nobody

00:35:07.110 --> 00:35:10.829
gives a shit about. Punxsutawney Phil's babies

00:35:10.829 --> 00:35:17.349
are named Shadow and Sunny. Your mama's so fat.

00:35:18.250 --> 00:35:21.690
When she was floating in the ocean, Spain claimed

00:35:21.690 --> 00:35:25.500
her as their new territory. Hey there, fuckstick.

00:35:26.079 --> 00:35:28.280
You're just in time for brand new feature news

00:35:28.280 --> 00:35:31.139
nobody gives a shit about. Bumblebees have been

00:35:31.139 --> 00:35:37.440
proven to sing to their young. Have you ever

00:35:37.440 --> 00:35:39.659
wondered what something is about? Have you ever

00:35:39.659 --> 00:35:41.820
looked at something and said, I wonder what the

00:35:41.820 --> 00:35:45.500
origin of that is? Well, so have we. That's why

00:35:45.500 --> 00:35:49.900
we give you The Origin Of. This is The Origin

00:35:49.900 --> 00:35:52.840
of Ketchup and Katsup. There's no actual difference

00:35:52.840 --> 00:35:55.159
between ketchup and catsup. There are both two

00:35:55.159 --> 00:35:57.179
different spellings for the same tomato -based

00:35:57.179 --> 00:35:59.639
condiment. The term ketchup is more commonly

00:35:59.639 --> 00:36:02.360
and widely accepted, while catsup is still used

00:36:02.360 --> 00:36:04.539
in some regions, particularly in the south and

00:36:04.539 --> 00:36:07.260
midwest of the United States. Most spellings

00:36:07.260 --> 00:36:09.260
are correct and refer to the same sweet -sour

00:36:09.260 --> 00:36:11.320
condiment typically made with tomatoes, mangoes,

00:36:11.320 --> 00:36:14.260
sugar, and spices. The word ketchup likely originated

00:36:14.260 --> 00:36:17.349
from the Chinese term ki -ti -ya -sep. A fermented

00:36:17.349 --> 00:36:19.949
fish sauce. Over time, variations like ketchup,

00:36:20.050 --> 00:36:22.449
spelled both ways, emerged as the condiment was

00:36:22.449 --> 00:36:24.969
adapted with Western ingredients, including tomatoes.

00:36:25.769 --> 00:36:28.969
The regular Joe Cube public may believe anything

00:36:28.969 --> 00:36:31.949
he hears and sees, but not here at Two Douchebags

00:36:31.949 --> 00:36:34.489
Microphone. Here at Two Douchebags Microphone,

00:36:34.510 --> 00:36:36.889
we question everything. That's why we have a

00:36:36.889 --> 00:36:39.710
little segment we'd like to call, I Call Bullshit.

00:36:39.769 --> 00:36:44.769
Bullshit. Bullshit. Bullshit. So let me make

00:36:44.769 --> 00:36:46.860
sure I have this correct. All the waiting for

00:36:46.860 --> 00:36:49.599
Epstein client list. All the promises of justice.

00:36:49.920 --> 00:36:52.300
All the huge names that were all over his private

00:36:52.300 --> 00:36:55.380
island. Suddenly, there's no client list. It's

00:36:55.380 --> 00:36:57.480
a well -known fact that Epstein kept a list of

00:36:57.480 --> 00:37:00.800
clients. So Ghislaine Maxwell is rotting in prison

00:37:00.800 --> 00:37:03.219
and has no memory of any of her visitors when

00:37:03.219 --> 00:37:05.679
she was one of the hosts? You mean to tell me

00:37:05.679 --> 00:37:08.400
she cannot spit out a few names? They barter

00:37:08.400 --> 00:37:11.460
with every other criminal. Why not her? I'll

00:37:11.460 --> 00:37:15.000
tell you why. Because power protects power. That's

00:37:15.000 --> 00:37:17.780
why. This bullshit dog and pony show will only

00:37:17.780 --> 00:37:21.380
go so far. Promises and convictions turn to dust.

00:37:21.719 --> 00:37:24.860
I'll even go one step further. Jeffrey Epstein

00:37:24.860 --> 00:37:28.320
is still alive. His death was faked. His friends

00:37:28.320 --> 00:37:31.139
made sure of this. The next time you think justice

00:37:31.139 --> 00:37:33.820
will be served will be a cold day in hell. Or

00:37:33.820 --> 00:37:36.139
just wait until his perverts do kick off. Then

00:37:36.139 --> 00:37:48.000
ask them the temperature in hell. Two douchebags

00:37:48.000 --> 00:37:50.460
and a microphone. I'm Mark here in the Kansas

00:37:50.460 --> 00:37:58.340
City area at this Talk is Cheap studio. I think

00:37:58.340 --> 00:38:04.239
the goat stoned. What do you think? He's had

00:38:04.239 --> 00:38:18.260
a long day or so. Yeah, yeah. All right. Well,

00:38:18.340 --> 00:38:20.260
let's get to some emails, Rob. Does that sound

00:38:20.260 --> 00:38:24.059
all right? Yeah, let's please do. Okay. First

00:38:24.059 --> 00:38:26.940
off, the Crescent episode was cool, but I really

00:38:26.940 --> 00:38:30.519
expected more paranormal talk and sounds, maybe.

00:38:30.619 --> 00:38:33.699
Ron in Huntsville, probably Alabama, I guess.

00:38:36.139 --> 00:38:52.190
Okay. Yeah, I don't have the equipment to go

00:38:52.190 --> 00:38:57.030
around and look for goats. Yeah, you and I should

00:38:57.030 --> 00:38:59.210
have got together and we should have talked about

00:38:59.210 --> 00:39:01.329
more of what we were going to talk about. We

00:39:01.329 --> 00:39:04.489
should have, but it was impromptu. It was like,

00:39:04.489 --> 00:39:08.030
I was going to do it from the flat iron balcony

00:39:08.030 --> 00:39:10.750
like I always do. And I was like, hell no, let's

00:39:10.750 --> 00:39:13.389
just go up to, I called up to the Crescent. And

00:39:13.389 --> 00:39:15.030
I didn't figure it'd be a problem because they

00:39:15.030 --> 00:39:17.570
have podcasts all over there and they have paranormal

00:39:17.570 --> 00:39:20.329
people all over there constantly. So I figured

00:39:20.329 --> 00:39:21.969
it wouldn't be a big deal. So I called down there

00:39:21.969 --> 00:39:24.409
and the lady's like, nah, no problem. So he said,

00:39:24.469 --> 00:39:27.110
just don't be, you know, don't be profane because

00:39:27.110 --> 00:39:29.630
we have a lot of children here and we have families

00:39:29.630 --> 00:39:32.130
here. And I was like, sure, no problem. As he

00:39:32.130 --> 00:39:40.070
said, I could do it. Yeah, and that's it. Other

00:39:40.070 --> 00:39:45.550
than that, yeah. Yeah, it was. I mean, if we

00:39:45.550 --> 00:39:48.349
were more, and also we're not a paranormal show

00:39:48.349 --> 00:39:52.809
either. No, we could be if we really wanted to.

00:39:53.210 --> 00:39:56.349
Yeah, so Ron, I appreciate what you're saying,

00:39:56.530 --> 00:40:00.409
but I didn't mean, me and Rob didn't mean to

00:40:00.409 --> 00:40:03.070
make it sound like it was going to be exploring

00:40:03.070 --> 00:40:06.230
the paranormal. We were just doing it from there.

00:40:06.409 --> 00:40:08.730
We were doing our show, he just happened to be

00:40:08.730 --> 00:40:12.809
there. Yeah, and actually I was hoping to do

00:40:12.809 --> 00:40:16.309
this. I was hoping we would capture some sounds

00:40:16.309 --> 00:40:21.030
recording. I'm still yet to hear them. Even if

00:40:21.030 --> 00:40:23.329
you could come back and say you've seen some

00:40:23.329 --> 00:40:27.369
weird things in the... I always do there. I've

00:40:27.369 --> 00:40:29.550
explained... You know what I mean? Yeah, I've

00:40:29.550 --> 00:40:32.190
explained so many of them. I always have. I mean,

00:40:32.190 --> 00:40:37.429
yeah. Yeah, so... Okay, well, you know, man,

00:40:37.510 --> 00:40:40.409
maybe one of these days we'll do a paranormal

00:40:40.409 --> 00:40:43.570
episode or something. But right now, this is

00:40:43.570 --> 00:40:46.849
what you're getting because, yeah. I mean, all

00:40:46.849 --> 00:40:48.710
the stuff that happened to me at the Crescent

00:40:48.710 --> 00:40:50.510
and other people I know, I could probably write

00:40:50.510 --> 00:40:52.829
a book. I could tell you that. But I told you

00:40:52.829 --> 00:40:55.530
guys the high spots. Rob knows the high spots.

00:40:55.730 --> 00:41:00.070
So, you know, yeah. All right. Mark, now that

00:41:00.070 --> 00:41:02.730
Coke is reintroduced in a new cane sugar version,

00:41:02.909 --> 00:41:05.309
will you start purchasing it regularly again?

00:41:06.309 --> 00:41:08.989
Terrence in Grand Junction, probably Colorado.

00:41:09.849 --> 00:41:14.610
Yeah, yeah. I mean. I, you know, I'm a, I don't

00:41:14.610 --> 00:41:16.389
drink so much soda anymore. You know, I have

00:41:16.389 --> 00:41:21.750
GERD and I really can't. So, but I, you know,

00:41:21.750 --> 00:41:23.789
whenever I do have a soda, I'm pretty certain

00:41:23.789 --> 00:41:28.389
I'll probably have to go with, with that, with

00:41:28.389 --> 00:41:31.409
a real sugar Coke because that is my favorite

00:41:31.409 --> 00:41:36.630
drink. So yeah. All right. Next one. You said

00:41:36.630 --> 00:41:38.610
you were calling bullshit on the federal government.

00:41:38.809 --> 00:41:41.710
Are you still planning that? If so, I have a

00:41:41.710 --> 00:41:43.849
subject that you really need to cover. Please

00:41:43.849 --> 00:41:46.969
email me, and I will produce the details. Sarge

00:41:46.969 --> 00:41:50.289
in Omaha. And I did email Sarge, and I love that

00:41:50.289 --> 00:41:52.010
idea, and I'm not going to give it away right

00:41:52.010 --> 00:41:54.789
now. So thank you, Sarge. I'll talk to you about

00:41:54.789 --> 00:41:57.489
it later, Rob. Yeah, get with me on that. Yeah,

00:41:57.550 --> 00:41:59.349
I'd forgotten about it when we were talking ahead

00:41:59.349 --> 00:42:04.250
of time. So I'll tell you later. All right. Mark.

00:42:04.940 --> 00:42:07.119
Where do you and your wife stay in Eureka Springs?

00:42:07.340 --> 00:42:09.400
I keep forgetting the name. I said it about ten

00:42:09.400 --> 00:42:13.219
times. Flatiron Flats. Suites. Flatiron Flats

00:42:13.219 --> 00:42:16.320
Suites. It's downtown Eureka Springs, right across

00:42:16.320 --> 00:42:19.000
from the Basin Park Hotel. Go out on the balcony.

00:42:19.079 --> 00:42:21.579
Usually you can see some guy fucking not knowing

00:42:21.579 --> 00:42:26.199
that you're sitting right there. And it's pretty

00:42:26.199 --> 00:42:27.940
interesting when they realize you're just sitting

00:42:27.940 --> 00:42:34.139
there looking at them. So, all right. Rob. What?

00:42:34.489 --> 00:42:37.130
would be your favorite rock poster of all time.

00:42:37.250 --> 00:42:40.010
I might have a couple of yours, or maybe they

00:42:40.010 --> 00:42:42.989
were accidentally burned. Mitch in South Central

00:42:42.989 --> 00:42:49.090
Cass County, Skunkweed Division. Rob. Oh, Mitch.

00:42:49.769 --> 00:42:53.650
I've been waiting to talk to you, buddy. Yes,

00:42:53.650 --> 00:42:55.889
Mitch. We're glad you went ahead and mouthed

00:42:55.889 --> 00:43:25.199
off. Rob, please go ahead. Mitch. How you like

00:43:25.199 --> 00:43:29.119
that, Mitch? Literally. Literally. He pissed

00:43:29.119 --> 00:43:32.500
on your car. Well, hey, Mitch, if you look on

00:43:32.500 --> 00:43:38.579
Facebook, I posted the Montrose exit signs. That

00:43:38.579 --> 00:43:43.099
was after I left Harrisville. We spent like three

00:43:43.099 --> 00:43:50.639
hours at Freight Fair. There you go, Mitch. When

00:43:50.639 --> 00:43:59.679
I read this email, I was like, great. He's afraid

00:43:59.679 --> 00:44:02.619
to for some reason, dude. He's just playing cat

00:44:02.619 --> 00:44:05.119
and mouse. And he won't let loose with who he

00:44:05.119 --> 00:44:20.090
is. So, whatever. I think we... I don't... I

00:44:20.090 --> 00:44:22.949
don't think they know me. I think they know you.

00:44:23.050 --> 00:44:27.429
They have never said anything about me so personal

00:44:27.429 --> 00:44:30.389
like they have you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They don't

00:44:30.389 --> 00:44:33.550
like you, but they know personal shit about me.

00:44:33.610 --> 00:44:36.110
Yeah, or either that or they know me and don't

00:44:36.110 --> 00:44:39.630
like me. That could be two. I don't know. I was

00:44:39.630 --> 00:44:45.349
on DD yesterday. There you go, Mitch. And he

00:44:45.349 --> 00:44:49.300
also took a dump on your car. Go out there. You'll

00:44:49.300 --> 00:44:53.320
see it. Right in the middle of your old AMC Pacer.

00:44:53.440 --> 00:44:56.380
Right in the middle. Right, Rob? Did you leave

00:44:56.380 --> 00:45:05.659
a dent? Good. Good. All right, Mitch. There you

00:45:05.659 --> 00:45:14.099
go, Mitch. Have fun cleaning that up. There you

00:45:14.099 --> 00:45:15.800
go, Mitch, because there is not one in Freeman.

00:45:16.800 --> 00:45:21.170
All right. Hey, douches, you never talk about

00:45:21.170 --> 00:45:23.969
Triumph ever. That was such an underrated rock

00:45:23.969 --> 00:45:28.730
band from Canada. Tony in Waterfront Bay. I have

00:45:28.730 --> 00:45:34.730
no idea where that's at. We love Triumph. And

00:45:34.730 --> 00:45:42.150
I don't think he caught the episodes. He didn't

00:45:42.150 --> 00:45:44.519
catch the episodes at all. because we've talked

00:45:44.519 --> 00:45:46.880
about Triumph before and our love for them. They're

00:45:46.880 --> 00:45:49.219
kind of like April Wine, where we think... Yeah,

00:45:49.219 --> 00:45:52.679
Triumph and April Wine are our two favorite...

00:45:52.679 --> 00:45:56.679
Underrated bands. Underrated bands. Yeah. So,

00:45:56.719 --> 00:46:01.159
no, we're in your corner. Tony and Waterfront

00:46:01.159 --> 00:46:05.800
Bay. Yeah. Yeah, so... Do you know where Waterfront

00:46:05.800 --> 00:46:07.900
Bay is? I don't. I've never heard of it before.

00:46:07.960 --> 00:46:10.360
I've never heard of it either. Okay. All right.

00:46:10.380 --> 00:46:15.050
Thank you, Tony. All right. Rob, do you wear

00:46:15.050 --> 00:46:18.829
cowboy boot Crocs? I bet you do. Willie and Montrose.

00:46:20.389 --> 00:46:23.949
And that's the final one. I think you pissed

00:46:23.949 --> 00:46:27.929
him off, Rob. Montrose. Willie, check out the

00:46:27.929 --> 00:46:31.449
Facebook page. I took the 52 action pictures

00:46:31.449 --> 00:46:35.750
of 52 exercises. Rob, I got that email this morning,

00:46:35.809 --> 00:46:39.309
so I think he probably saw it and responded.

00:46:46.190 --> 00:46:50.469
I think that's why he said that. I like to keep

00:46:50.469 --> 00:46:54.030
my footing. When it's raining, crocs get slick.

00:46:54.289 --> 00:46:58.789
You fall, you get hurt. There's a lot of lawsuits

00:46:58.789 --> 00:47:00.889
that go that way just because you're wearing

00:47:00.889 --> 00:47:05.210
goddamn crocs. Yep. The only time you should

00:47:05.210 --> 00:47:09.010
be wearing crocs is if you're in jail. Yep, I

00:47:09.010 --> 00:47:13.989
agree. That's my opinion. Nope, nope, I agree

00:47:13.989 --> 00:47:17.940
too. Alright. Okay, Rob, that is the end of that,

00:47:18.019 --> 00:47:22.519
so please go ahead with something. Okay, I will.

00:47:22.940 --> 00:47:31.500
Guess what time it is. Rob's bag of garbage.

00:47:31.980 --> 00:47:36.059
Our favorite segment. That's my favorite segment

00:47:36.059 --> 00:48:11.519
now. While driving a rented BMW, Broderick mistakenly

00:48:11.519 --> 00:48:17.199
veered onto the wrong side of the road and glided

00:48:17.199 --> 00:48:22.480
head -on with another car while he was in Northern

00:48:22.480 --> 00:48:27.380
Ireland. Different side of the road, blah, blah,

00:48:27.380 --> 00:48:51.000
blah. Okay. The incident sparked outrage when

00:48:51.000 --> 00:48:57.119
he was later fined just 175 American dollars

00:48:57.119 --> 00:49:04.380
for careless driving. Despite facing an initial

00:49:04.380 --> 00:49:08.980
charge of dangerous driving, they carried a possible

00:49:08.980 --> 00:49:26.280
prison sentence. Okay. Wow. Okay. I remember

00:49:26.280 --> 00:49:34.780
that. I do too, actually. I do too. Wow. Alright.

00:49:35.639 --> 00:49:40.159
You got more garbage? Yes, I got one more. Alrighty.

00:49:53.719 --> 00:51:47.750
Alright. Okay. Okay. Okay. No. No. Wow. Yeah.

00:51:47.750 --> 00:52:03.260
Yeah. That's what you get, dude. That's what

00:52:03.260 --> 00:52:06.900
you get. It kind of reminds me of, but not as

00:52:06.900 --> 00:52:10.539
egregious. Well, it depends on how you look at

00:52:10.539 --> 00:52:13.659
it. But back in 1993, there were all the horrible

00:52:13.659 --> 00:52:16.219
floods, remember? All over Missouri, pretty much?

00:52:16.519 --> 00:52:21.039
Okay. Oh, yeah. Me and Chris has been talking

00:52:21.039 --> 00:52:25.019
about that. Okay. Okay, yeah. It was horrible.

00:52:25.199 --> 00:52:34.019
I mean, everything was flooded. Yes. Yes. Yeah.

00:52:34.159 --> 00:52:38.420
She watched it. There was a guy in central Missouri

00:52:38.420 --> 00:52:42.539
over near Columbia that he tore up part of the

00:52:42.539 --> 00:52:46.820
levee so the road would flood so he could stay

00:52:46.820 --> 00:52:48.760
on the other side of the road with his mistress

00:52:48.760 --> 00:52:52.460
and he got caught. Right. And he went to prison

00:52:52.460 --> 00:52:55.039
and he doesn't have a wife or a mistress after

00:52:55.039 --> 00:52:59.099
that. So, yeah, it's crazy what people will go

00:52:59.099 --> 00:53:01.630
to. You know, this guy's just staying away from

00:53:01.630 --> 00:53:04.429
his wife, but this other guy, he is more nefarious.

00:53:04.449 --> 00:53:06.670
He is wanting to stay with his mistress. So he's

00:53:06.670 --> 00:53:09.869
like, great, I'll just cut into that levee, flood

00:53:09.869 --> 00:53:12.050
the road, and then I'll just call my wife and

00:53:12.050 --> 00:53:14.789
go, hey, I can't get there. It's flooded. Nah,

00:53:14.969 --> 00:53:17.389
got busted. Do you remember that at all, that

00:53:17.389 --> 00:53:21.489
story at all or not? Yeah, I vaguely remember

00:53:21.489 --> 00:53:24.969
that. Yeah, look it up if you're wondering about

00:53:24.969 --> 00:53:27.949
it. It's a really crazy story that someone would

00:53:27.949 --> 00:53:31.389
go that length. To stay with her girlfriend.

00:53:31.590 --> 00:53:35.050
So, and not be at home with her wife. So, all

00:53:35.050 --> 00:53:38.389
right. Well, I've got this story here. And then

00:53:38.389 --> 00:53:41.030
Jeffy X has a little bit of a deal here that

00:53:41.030 --> 00:53:45.110
he's going to go into for us. Cool. Yeah, so.

00:53:46.389 --> 00:53:50.289
All right. Stephen Markham of Stanton, Kentucky

00:53:50.289 --> 00:53:55.829
is in hot water for his choice of Halloween decorations.

00:53:58.090 --> 00:54:01.420
Lex18TV reported, that they found five bodies

00:54:01.420 --> 00:54:04.300
in trash bags with labels on them. The labels

00:54:04.300 --> 00:54:09.539
were District Judge, Mayor, SIS, which is an

00:54:09.539 --> 00:54:16.449
intergovernment working local, and CA. and zoning

00:54:16.449 --> 00:54:20.110
manager markham has reportedly had an ongoing

00:54:20.110 --> 00:54:22.489
dispute with the city over failing to hook up

00:54:22.489 --> 00:54:26.210
legal water sewer and electrical services the

00:54:26.210 --> 00:54:28.489
threatening decorations were erected sometime

00:54:28.489 --> 00:54:31.869
after a september 30th court hearing about those

00:54:31.869 --> 00:54:34.690
violations markham was charged with intimidating

00:54:34.690 --> 00:54:38.130
a witness in the legal process and third degree

00:54:38.130 --> 00:54:42.789
terroristic threatening interesting story right

00:54:44.329 --> 00:54:48.130
Well, Jeffy X, he found us a list of Halloween

00:54:48.130 --> 00:54:52.909
decorations that failed. Isn't that great? Jeffy

00:54:52.909 --> 00:54:56.550
X is so selfless. So he risked his life to find

00:54:56.550 --> 00:55:00.449
us this stuff. So we thank you, Jeffy X, for

00:55:00.449 --> 00:55:05.230
this list. And like I said, he was, you know,

00:55:05.250 --> 00:55:08.409
he risked his life to find the, you know, he

00:55:08.409 --> 00:55:10.530
goes in and he gets this information that the

00:55:10.530 --> 00:55:12.409
corporations are trying to throw away because

00:55:12.409 --> 00:55:16.369
they don't want you to know about it. So, Jeffy

00:55:16.369 --> 00:55:18.869
X is so good at doing this sleuth stuff that

00:55:18.869 --> 00:55:20.750
he has to stay on the run and he has to wear

00:55:20.750 --> 00:55:24.190
costumes and all this and everything. So, to

00:55:24.190 --> 00:55:27.449
reward him, Rob is quite the crocheter, aren't

00:55:27.449 --> 00:55:31.400
you? Yes, sir. an expert crocheter. He is one

00:55:31.400 --> 00:55:33.699
of the best in the world. He has been timed as

00:55:33.699 --> 00:55:36.059
one of the fastest crocheters ever in the world.

00:55:36.320 --> 00:55:39.360
So what he did was, he loves Jeffy X and what

00:55:39.360 --> 00:55:43.360
he does for us so much that he made him, he crocheted

00:55:43.360 --> 00:55:46.280
him a pair of Jeffy X underwear, an X on the

00:55:46.280 --> 00:55:49.579
front of it, Jeffy on the back, with a special

00:55:49.579 --> 00:55:53.400
Steven Piercy pouch of the old Glam Band Rat.

00:55:54.039 --> 00:55:56.500
He supposedly used to have a pouch sewn into

00:55:56.500 --> 00:55:59.940
the front of his spandex on the inside. So he

00:55:59.940 --> 00:56:01.760
could stuff socks down there and, you know, and

00:56:01.760 --> 00:56:03.699
look a little bit more appealing to maybe, you

00:56:03.699 --> 00:56:05.980
know, women and maybe some gay males or whatever,

00:56:06.159 --> 00:56:10.239
right? Okay. So Rob did that for him. And then

00:56:10.239 --> 00:56:13.420
you made him a flying bat suit and a Sgt. Pepper's

00:56:13.420 --> 00:56:15.760
outfit because Jeffy X is the biggest Beatle

00:56:15.760 --> 00:56:19.900
fan ever. The problem is, is Jeffy X refused

00:56:19.900 --> 00:56:22.800
to take it off. And it's black now and it stinks.

00:56:24.029 --> 00:56:27.630
But never fear, Rob crocheted him seven more,

00:56:27.730 --> 00:56:29.670
one for each day of the week. So all he's got

00:56:29.670 --> 00:56:33.369
to do is come get it. And me, I'm a simple man.

00:56:34.130 --> 00:56:37.530
I gave him $2 ,500 to either spend on hookers

00:56:37.530 --> 00:56:39.909
and blow or maybe get something for his mom.

00:56:40.070 --> 00:56:41.849
I didn't ask him which one he did, don't care.

00:56:43.659 --> 00:56:46.400
So anyhow, we will go ahead and go to this here.

00:56:47.480 --> 00:56:49.980
Jeffy X found this Halloween decorations that

00:56:49.980 --> 00:56:53.300
failed. The first one that failed was Alvin and

00:56:53.300 --> 00:56:56.219
the Chipmunks Hanging from a Tree. Can you believe

00:56:56.219 --> 00:57:01.980
that failed, Rob? No. No way. I know. Alvin and

00:57:01.980 --> 00:57:04.059
the Chipmunks Hanging from a Tree. That's great

00:57:04.059 --> 00:57:06.500
Halloween decorations. I don't get what the problem

00:57:06.500 --> 00:57:09.579
is with that. I know. What is wrong? They're

00:57:09.579 --> 00:57:17.429
too uptight. Nothing says Christmas more than

00:57:17.429 --> 00:57:19.309
Alvin and the Chipmunks hanging from a tree.

00:57:19.429 --> 00:57:22.090
Or I mean Halloween, not Christmas, Halloween.

00:57:22.489 --> 00:57:25.269
So, all right, the next one is... Either one,

00:57:27.750 --> 00:57:31.590
that's right. So the next one is a graveyard

00:57:31.590 --> 00:57:36.670
of half -eaten Oreos. I think that's scary. Don't

00:57:36.670 --> 00:57:42.610
you think so, Rob? Yeah, because I don't know

00:57:42.610 --> 00:57:48.539
if I want to meet that person. I know. Yeah,

00:57:48.679 --> 00:57:52.960
that's not right. Oh, I know. This next one's

00:57:52.960 --> 00:57:56.920
quite scary. A Joel Osteen life -size cutout.

00:57:59.099 --> 00:58:03.699
I know. What better for Halloween? What better

00:58:03.699 --> 00:58:06.340
for Halloween? What is wrong with these people,

00:58:06.420 --> 00:58:09.619
Rob? I don't know. I would love to have one.

00:58:10.059 --> 00:58:12.159
I would put it in the front yard right now when

00:58:12.159 --> 00:58:14.059
people, little kids would be screaming, running

00:58:14.059 --> 00:58:19.820
off. You know, it'd be great, right? Yeah. Yeah.

00:58:21.860 --> 00:58:27.500
It's scarier. It's very scary. Oh, sorry. We

00:58:27.500 --> 00:58:29.260
don't go into religion. Oh, wait a minute. That's

00:58:29.260 --> 00:58:32.059
right. That's right. I'm not. This is all tongue

00:58:32.059 --> 00:58:34.699
-in -cheek. I know. I have no problems with Joel

00:58:34.699 --> 00:58:39.039
Osteen. All right. The next one is a dancing

00:58:39.039 --> 00:58:44.539
animatronic Justin Bieber. That's scary. Yeah.

00:58:44.539 --> 00:58:46.780
Oh, my God. Oh, my God, man. Man, I would be

00:58:46.780 --> 00:58:50.880
running. I'd be running and fucking screaming

00:58:50.880 --> 00:58:54.239
and crying. That would scare my grandkids. Oh,

00:58:54.260 --> 00:58:58.239
gosh. That would scare anything. An animatronic

00:58:58.239 --> 00:59:01.400
Justin Bieber, you imagine? That would scare

00:59:01.400 --> 00:59:06.420
my 21 -year -old son. See? Yeah, yeah. That's

00:59:06.420 --> 00:59:10.360
such a great Halloween decoration. Okay, whatever.

00:59:10.719 --> 00:59:14.480
All right. The next one is a giant inflatable

00:59:14.480 --> 00:59:23.559
puppy dog. Can you believe that? No? No. All

00:59:23.559 --> 00:59:29.579
right. All right, the next one that failed. An

00:59:29.579 --> 00:59:34.739
eyeball out or something, yeah. Yeah, yeah, I

00:59:34.739 --> 00:59:39.820
get it. So, okay, so maybe... Okay, so the focus

00:59:39.820 --> 00:59:44.119
panel hit that one correct, would you say? Okay.

00:59:45.079 --> 00:59:47.820
Yeah, it is. The next one is a hologram Santa.

00:59:48.300 --> 00:59:51.840
Oh, man, nothing spells Halloween more than a

00:59:51.840 --> 00:59:56.519
hologram Santa. Come on, guys. I'm just sitting

00:59:56.519 --> 00:59:58.739
here doing the V. I've actually seen people do

00:59:58.739 --> 01:00:02.380
that before. I have, too. I've seen bloody Santas.

01:00:02.460 --> 01:00:09.980
I'm just like, oh, that's great. So the hologram

01:00:09.980 --> 01:00:12.559
Santa did not go over, and I think that's ridiculous.

01:00:16.539 --> 01:00:20.079
Anyhow, decorative fruit baskets, they failed

01:00:20.079 --> 01:00:22.900
for Halloween decorations. Can you believe that?

01:00:25.440 --> 01:00:28.239
Okay, yeah. Oh, okay. So maybe they hit that

01:00:28.239 --> 01:00:32.960
one right, too. My personal opinion. Okay, all

01:00:32.960 --> 01:00:35.860
right. You can have your own opinion. We'll go

01:00:35.860 --> 01:00:39.480
ahead and let that one go. All right. The next

01:00:39.480 --> 01:00:42.619
one that failed the focus panels for new Halloween

01:00:42.619 --> 01:00:48.059
decorations is a Christmas carolers with pitchforks.

01:00:49.380 --> 01:00:53.820
I think that's great. For real. For real. Yeah,

01:00:53.940 --> 01:00:58.360
Christmas carols. Carolers. I can't even say

01:00:58.360 --> 01:01:02.559
it. Yeah, with pitchforks. Yeah. That's freaking

01:01:02.559 --> 01:01:08.050
fantastic. These people are nuts. The next one

01:01:08.050 --> 01:01:09.889
I agree with because I always thought they were

01:01:09.889 --> 01:01:13.989
quite scary. The Monkees Band. A poster of them.

01:01:14.030 --> 01:01:16.769
A giant poster. Yeah, they're scary. They're

01:01:16.769 --> 01:01:19.590
scary. Davy Jones and Company. They're scary.

01:01:20.090 --> 01:01:23.369
Yep. And then finally, the last one that failed

01:01:23.369 --> 01:01:27.449
was a Taylor Swift garden gnome. That's scary.

01:01:29.210 --> 01:01:34.269
I don't know, man. You know, you got this...

01:01:35.039 --> 01:01:40.780
Oh, no, everybody's on her bad wagon there. Yeah,

01:01:40.780 --> 01:01:43.199
you're right, you're right. She's the most beautiful

01:01:43.199 --> 01:01:46.760
thing in the world. Yeah, not Tay -Tay. Tay -Tay's

01:01:46.760 --> 01:01:52.719
gorgeous. Okay, whatever. All right, that is

01:01:52.719 --> 01:01:54.619
the end of that, so let's take our second break.

01:01:54.679 --> 01:01:56.159
We're going to come back with some of your stuff,

01:01:56.260 --> 01:01:59.820
Rob. All right, sounds good. See how good Rob

01:01:59.820 --> 01:02:01.599
is? I put him on the spot, and he's just like,

01:02:01.719 --> 01:02:05.320
okay, we'll fucking do it, whatever. All right.

01:02:05.420 --> 01:02:08.559
We'll be right back. So you want proof that we

01:02:08.559 --> 01:02:10.820
love you here at QD Spades and Microfilm Central?

01:02:11.559 --> 01:02:14.059
Here's a proof right here about the drink of

01:02:14.059 --> 01:02:16.900
the week. Hey there, you little snack cakes.

01:02:17.420 --> 01:02:21.340
This is Norwegian's best drinks. Norwegian Cruise

01:02:21.340 --> 01:02:23.380
Lime has long been known as one of the best drink

01:02:23.380 --> 01:02:25.940
makers on the high seas, if not the best. In

01:02:25.940 --> 01:02:27.539
this drink, it's no different. It's one of the

01:02:27.539 --> 01:02:30.559
most popular and it's really good. A smoked peach

01:02:30.559 --> 01:02:35.179
margarita. It involves one ounce. of 1800 sober

01:02:35.179 --> 01:02:38.380
tequila, one half ounce of mezcal, a quarter

01:02:38.380 --> 01:02:42.179
ounce of triple sec, half ounce of organic agave,

01:02:42.400 --> 01:02:45.199
half ounce of peach puree, and one half ounces

01:02:45.199 --> 01:02:48.280
of fresh wine juice. Garnish with hibiscus salt

01:02:48.280 --> 01:02:52.360
on the rim and dried blood orange slices on the

01:02:52.360 --> 01:02:55.360
rim. Add all ingredients and shake. And don't

01:02:55.360 --> 01:02:58.380
be bashful. Shake like nuts. And then print in

01:02:58.380 --> 01:03:07.730
a glass with crushed ice and enjoy. When you

01:03:07.730 --> 01:03:10.989
buy and eat half a chicken, you are secretly

01:03:10.989 --> 01:03:16.050
sharing a meal with a stranger. Two douchebags

01:03:16.050 --> 01:03:19.630
and a microphone, says. You ever dream about

01:03:19.630 --> 01:03:22.030
eating chocolate pudding and wake up with a spoon

01:03:22.030 --> 01:03:26.130
in your ass? Just asking. Hey, my fellow heavy

01:03:26.130 --> 01:03:30.269
breeders, this is Dash Riptide, your music news.

01:03:32.449 --> 01:03:36.050
Rob Halford, the legendary singer of Judas Priest.

01:03:36.590 --> 01:03:39.969
now has his very own action figure on sale. This

01:03:39.969 --> 01:03:43.429
is from McFarlane Toys. It sells for $34 .99,

01:03:43.650 --> 01:03:47.190
and even Halford's action figure is taller than

01:03:47.190 --> 01:03:50.929
Udo Dirk -Snyder. This is Gash Rooktine, and

01:03:50.929 --> 01:03:54.210
that was your music news. If it's too loud, you

01:03:54.210 --> 01:04:05.510
probably have ear damage, just like me. i think

01:04:05.510 --> 01:04:09.230
we found land oh my god i think we're safe oh

01:04:09.230 --> 01:04:16.469
no it's the island of horrible jokes singing

01:04:16.469 --> 01:04:19.909
in the shower is fun until you get soap in your

01:04:19.909 --> 01:04:27.469
mouth then it's a soap opera you watch the news

01:04:27.469 --> 01:04:32.280
it looks grim is it apocalypse inevitable We

01:04:32.280 --> 01:04:34.699
suggest you download all our podcasts beforehand

01:04:34.699 --> 01:04:38.940
and have multiple mobile chargers. We have a

01:04:38.940 --> 01:04:46.079
host of podcasts. Make sure and have plenty of

01:04:46.079 --> 01:04:50.139
rope. Strong, threaded, durable rope with a rating

01:04:50.139 --> 01:04:54.019
of 400 pounds or greater. You need to know basic

01:04:54.019 --> 01:04:56.900
knots, so you can go to the library and download

01:04:56.900 --> 01:04:59.539
the Boy Scouts handbook and have a reference

01:04:59.539 --> 01:05:03.159
to slip knots and other essential rope tricks.

01:05:03.559 --> 01:05:06.880
Rope can be used in traps to catch food or would

01:05:06.880 --> 01:05:10.840
-be predators. Rope is a key ingredient in post

01:05:10.840 --> 01:05:14.500
-apocalypse survival. Ms. Gulkenstein was tired

01:05:14.500 --> 01:05:17.039
of Mark and Toe for making sport of her. Little

01:05:17.039 --> 01:05:19.599
did the douchebags know Ms. Gulkenstein was a

01:05:19.599 --> 01:05:22.630
voodoo high priestess when she was younger. She

01:05:22.630 --> 01:05:26.010
grew angry and cast a spell on Rob, changing

01:05:26.010 --> 01:05:30.710
Rob into a capuchin monkey. Mark took Rob to

01:05:30.710 --> 01:05:32.690
a local zoo so he could be with the other monkeys.

01:05:33.010 --> 01:05:36.869
Here are the adventures of Rob, the capuchin

01:05:36.869 --> 01:05:42.170
monkey. Shh, be very quiet. We're going to listen

01:05:42.170 --> 01:05:44.809
in as Rob, the capuchin monkey, tries to sell

01:05:44.809 --> 01:05:47.769
the rest of the capuchin monkeys Amway. Rob has

01:05:47.769 --> 01:05:50.230
always dreamed of becoming a diamond status Amway.

01:05:50.960 --> 01:06:14.440
As a capuchin monkey. Little did our hero Rob

01:06:14.440 --> 01:06:17.880
know. All the great apes owned stock in Sam's

01:06:17.880 --> 01:06:20.000
Club and became violently pissed off when he

01:06:20.000 --> 01:06:22.760
tried to infringe on their territory. They promptly

01:06:22.760 --> 01:06:24.960
grabbed switches and beat his ass for three days

01:06:24.960 --> 01:06:34.940
straight. Rob could not sit down. Knob Lake is

01:06:34.940 --> 01:06:37.440
an unincorporated community in southern St. Francis

01:06:37.440 --> 01:06:40.139
County, Missouri, United States. It is located

01:06:40.139 --> 01:06:43.039
on Missouri Route DD, just east of U .S. Route

01:06:43.039 --> 01:06:46.000
67. approximately 8 miles south of Farmington,

01:06:46.039 --> 01:06:48.420
Missouri. Knob Lick has a post office with the

01:06:48.420 --> 01:06:51.920
zip code 63651, which has been in operation since

01:06:51.920 --> 01:06:55.179
1870. The community takes its name from nearby

01:06:55.179 --> 01:06:57.860
Knob Lick Mountain. In the Ozarks, Knob typically

01:06:57.860 --> 01:07:01.179
refers to an isolated summit, and Wick is a natural

01:07:01.179 --> 01:07:04.519
salt lick or salt spring. The mountain runs across

01:07:04.519 --> 01:07:08.000
U .S. 67. Approximately 80 acres of the summit

01:07:08.000 --> 01:07:09.980
are protected by the Missouri Department of Conservation.

01:07:10.650 --> 01:07:12.570
A gravel road leads to the conservation area,

01:07:12.630 --> 01:07:15.369
which includes a granite glade, picnic facilities,

01:07:15.570 --> 01:07:19.269
and a closed fire lookout tower. 147 was the

01:07:19.269 --> 01:07:30.929
population reported in 2020. And a microphone.

01:07:30.949 --> 01:07:35.210
I'm Mark here in the Kansas City area at the

01:07:35.210 --> 01:07:54.750
Talk is Cheap studio. Not very much longer and

01:07:54.750 --> 01:07:58.449
he will not be there. Not much longer at all.

01:07:59.449 --> 01:08:05.610
Not much longer you're going to hear a... While

01:08:05.610 --> 01:08:18.159
we're doing this podcast. Okay. Cool. I think

01:08:18.159 --> 01:08:20.100
I'm going to do some soundproofing in this room,

01:08:20.180 --> 01:08:22.800
too, just so I can get a little better acoustics.

01:08:24.119 --> 01:08:27.300
No, I don't know soundproofing. Oh, no, I'm just

01:08:27.300 --> 01:08:35.640
saying me. Okay, yeah. Disclose it once you do

01:08:35.640 --> 01:08:40.039
that, yes. All right, Rob. Oh, okay, sorry. Of

01:08:40.039 --> 01:08:47.729
course. All right, Rob, we turn this to you.

01:08:49.430 --> 01:08:52.489
Okay, well, I'm going to step on the sports bastards.

01:08:53.510 --> 01:08:57.949
Uh -oh. All right, go ahead. I hope this is something

01:08:57.949 --> 01:09:01.350
you guys have not chosen to talk about. Actually,

01:09:01.369 --> 01:09:05.149
right now, the sports bastards is on hiatus right

01:09:05.149 --> 01:09:10.140
now. All right. Yeah, yeah, and we have the mystery

01:09:10.140 --> 01:09:12.300
sports guy, and whenever he's not available,

01:09:12.420 --> 01:09:16.819
it's me. Oh, by the way, the new guy, he is pissed

01:09:16.819 --> 01:09:19.760
off at us, and he didn't show up. So we're probably

01:09:19.760 --> 01:09:22.220
going to have to find a new new guy. So anyhow,

01:09:22.340 --> 01:09:25.340
Rob, go ahead. Go ahead. You're not going to

01:09:25.340 --> 01:09:27.060
step on our toes, Rob. We're not doing anything

01:09:27.060 --> 01:09:30.659
right now. Okay, okay. Well, I'm going in the

01:09:30.659 --> 01:09:41.539
sports world. Okay. Yep. Okay, the cameras caught

01:09:41.539 --> 01:09:46.720
him again. Aaron Rodgers and his trusty smelling

01:09:46.720 --> 01:09:51.520
salts became an absolute love story nobody asked

01:09:51.520 --> 01:09:56.039
for. Okay. Sunday Night Football gives the Green

01:09:56.039 --> 01:09:59.579
Bay Packers Mark the third time Rodgers' ongoing

01:09:59.579 --> 01:10:04.000
relationship with the banned substance. It's

01:10:04.000 --> 01:10:12.079
the third time they caught him. Really? But there's

01:10:12.079 --> 01:10:17.979
more to the story. The 41 -year -old quarterback

01:10:17.979 --> 01:10:21.899
keeps reaching for his secret sauce like it's

01:10:21.899 --> 01:11:19.979
his healing medicine. Hmm. Wow. Yeah, they're

01:11:19.979 --> 01:11:28.640
holed up and he pops out. Clear view of it. Huh.

01:11:29.340 --> 01:11:33.140
Okay. And after the way they played, I'm starting

01:11:33.140 --> 01:11:38.220
to wonder if it's smelling salts. I'm thinking,

01:11:38.399 --> 01:11:41.460
you know what? Maybe at least it was coke or

01:11:41.460 --> 01:11:44.619
something. You know what? I mean, he's an hallucinogenic

01:11:44.619 --> 01:11:48.079
guy anyhow. He likes ayahuasca, mushrooms, and

01:11:48.079 --> 01:11:50.140
everything, so I could see that happening very

01:11:50.140 --> 01:11:51.720
easily. We're not saying that's what's going

01:11:51.720 --> 01:11:53.920
on. We're saying that could be part of what's

01:11:53.920 --> 01:11:56.579
going on. If you're allowed to bring your own,

01:11:56.720 --> 01:12:00.699
who's to say what's in it? Well, I mean, what

01:12:00.699 --> 01:12:03.399
is the drug testing policy? Could they just drug

01:12:03.399 --> 01:12:09.100
test him on that? I don't know. Well, any drug

01:12:09.100 --> 01:12:14.640
test should show it up. Yeah. I don't know. I'm

01:12:14.640 --> 01:12:21.050
going to look at... Okay, you know what I'm going

01:12:21.050 --> 01:12:23.149
to do? I'm going to get with the mystery sports

01:12:23.149 --> 01:12:25.350
guy, and we're going to figure something out

01:12:25.350 --> 01:12:27.689
about that, okay? Thanks for the tip -off. Yeah.

01:12:28.649 --> 01:12:31.470
So, all right. Thank you, Rob. Because this is

01:12:31.470 --> 01:12:34.409
like the third or fourth time he's been caught

01:12:34.409 --> 01:12:51.479
on camera doing it. Hmm. Okay. That opens it

01:12:51.479 --> 01:12:55.840
up. Yeah, it does. You would think starting quarterback,

01:12:56.199 --> 01:13:00.439
he'd be heavily drug tested. You would think

01:13:00.439 --> 01:13:03.060
so. Well, I'm going to have to read up. You know

01:13:03.060 --> 01:13:05.840
what? This is going to be continued. This is

01:13:05.840 --> 01:13:09.359
going to be continued on the mystery sports guy.

01:13:09.520 --> 01:13:11.380
We're not going to let this lie. We're going

01:13:11.380 --> 01:13:14.140
to talk about it more. Thank you, Rob. That was

01:13:14.140 --> 01:13:17.460
a very interesting, really interesting article

01:13:17.460 --> 01:13:22.500
there. All right, thank you. On October 10th,

01:13:22.500 --> 01:13:26.659
during the 9 a .m. Mass at St. Peter's Basilica

01:13:26.659 --> 01:13:29.239
in the Vatican, I think I covered this before,

01:13:29.279 --> 01:13:36.359
but I didn't cover it quite as broadly. You remember

01:13:36.359 --> 01:13:40.979
it, right? An unidentified man climbed the altar

01:13:40.979 --> 01:13:43.640
of confession, dropped his pants to his ankles,

01:13:43.720 --> 01:13:46.260
and urinated on the site, the mayor reported.

01:13:46.659 --> 01:13:49.890
Hundreds of tourists looked on. As plainclothes

01:13:49.890 --> 01:13:53.090
officers approached him, the Holy Pier was quickly

01:13:53.090 --> 01:13:55.729
removed from the premises after flashing a full

01:13:55.729 --> 01:13:59.750
moon at the gathered masses. Pope Leo was reportedly

01:13:59.750 --> 01:14:02.670
shocked. It was unclear whether he or another

01:14:02.670 --> 01:14:05.229
officiant was leading the service. What's different

01:14:05.229 --> 01:14:07.170
with this article than the other one that I wrote,

01:14:07.250 --> 01:14:10.270
I did not know that the Pope was there, and I

01:14:10.270 --> 01:14:12.550
didn't know that he mooned him, and I didn't

01:14:12.550 --> 01:14:15.090
know that their undercover police promptly arrested

01:14:15.090 --> 01:14:18.470
him. So that's why I went over that right there.

01:14:18.729 --> 01:14:22.050
So the guy, he jumps up, pulls his pants down,

01:14:22.130 --> 01:14:25.529
starts peeing, and then the plainclothes officers

01:14:25.529 --> 01:14:27.930
go after him. He moons everybody, and then they

01:14:27.930 --> 01:14:30.710
catch him. He goes to jail, and Pope Leo was

01:14:30.710 --> 01:14:32.750
over there shocked. So there you go, the whole

01:14:32.750 --> 01:14:37.050
rundown of everything. It wasn't quite reported

01:14:37.050 --> 01:14:44.289
like that, the other article, was it? Yeah, so,

01:14:44.409 --> 01:14:47.949
all right. So I had to go ahead and just clear

01:14:47.949 --> 01:14:51.630
that out. So, all right, Rob, we turn it to you.

01:14:51.670 --> 01:14:54.609
It is now 9 -11. So you tell me if you want to

01:14:54.609 --> 01:14:59.949
keep going or not. I'm going to bash AI. Oh,

01:14:59.970 --> 01:15:02.409
good, good. They always need bashed. I appreciate

01:15:02.409 --> 01:15:05.949
that. Go for it, Rob. I can take special over

01:15:05.949 --> 01:15:11.329
this one. Okay. Okay, armed police handcuffed

01:15:11.329 --> 01:15:17.079
and searched a student at a high school. This

01:15:17.079 --> 01:15:22.100
week, after an AI -driven security system flagged

01:15:22.100 --> 01:15:25.800
a team's empty bag of chips as a possible firearm.

01:15:27.300 --> 01:16:06.819
Okay. CNN affiliate WBAO described what happened

01:16:06.819 --> 01:16:45.100
Monday evening when police arrived. Mm. Yeah.

01:17:54.310 --> 01:18:28.720
Wow. Wow. that's fucked welcome to AI people

01:18:28.720 --> 01:18:33.739
yes your kids are going to be prison time over

01:18:33.739 --> 01:18:37.420
a Dorito bag well I mean that and how about all

01:18:37.420 --> 01:18:40.840
the other ones like the AI that was mad at the

01:18:40.840 --> 01:18:44.060
columnist for dogging AI so he made up all the

01:18:44.060 --> 01:18:46.800
slanderous horrible things about him and printed

01:18:46.800 --> 01:18:50.170
it as real I mean, this whole thing, it's out

01:18:50.170 --> 01:18:52.930
of the bag already, like we said. And it's already

01:18:52.930 --> 01:18:55.069
getting to where people can't tell a deep fake

01:18:55.069 --> 01:18:58.590
from real. And it's getting to where AI recognizes

01:18:58.590 --> 01:19:01.189
people that don't like him and it retaliates.

01:19:01.250 --> 01:19:04.590
How far is this shit going to go? I mean, it's

01:19:04.590 --> 01:19:12.850
going in a bad area like we thought. That's insane.

01:19:15.659 --> 01:19:19.060
Because of AI, yeah. AI didn't like him or whatever,

01:19:19.220 --> 01:19:23.539
or AI just wanted to do whatever. So, wow. That's

01:19:23.539 --> 01:19:29.100
crazy. All right. Well, thank you, Rob. Do you

01:19:29.100 --> 01:19:31.199
want to keep going or do you want to shut it

01:19:31.199 --> 01:19:35.579
down? Well, I do have one more thing to announce.

01:19:36.020 --> 01:20:03.619
Oh, go ahead, Rob. Kick ass. What's his name?

01:20:04.739 --> 01:20:10.600
His name is Doug. And why is it Doug? Why'd you

01:20:10.600 --> 01:20:32.699
come up with that name? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:20:32.699 --> 01:21:17.180
Okay. Gotcha. I see where you're going. I love

01:21:17.180 --> 01:21:24.520
that. I love that. Yeah. My mascot is Doug. Hey,

01:21:24.520 --> 01:21:31.039
Doug. And the letters are in the word. Very cool.

01:21:31.220 --> 01:21:34.739
Thank you, Rob. All right. I guess we're going

01:21:34.739 --> 01:21:38.000
to shut this down then, right? Yeah, how about

01:21:38.000 --> 01:21:40.939
that? Yeah, I am too. There's still a football

01:21:40.939 --> 01:21:45.409
game going on, and I'm really beat anyhow. Time

01:21:45.409 --> 01:21:49.149
to end it. Hello, Albuquerque. Hello, Hicksville.

01:21:49.390 --> 01:21:53.970
Hi, Grandma Opal, Jimmy, Ricky. Thank you, everybody,

01:21:54.010 --> 01:21:58.409
for listening. Good night, assholes. Thank you,

01:21:58.409 --> 01:22:05.710
everybody. Good night, assholes. Oh, no. Looks

01:22:05.710 --> 01:22:08.529
like the show's over, kids. Mark has explosive

01:22:08.529 --> 01:22:12.199
diarrhea and can't afford a wireless mic. Fear

01:22:12.199 --> 01:22:14.619
not, assholes. They'll be back invading your

01:22:14.619 --> 01:22:15.399
ear holes soon.