WEBVTT

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Welcome again. We're happy you chose us. Come

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on in. Wash yourself off. Would you enjoy a bourbon

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and coke? There's a liquor store down the road.

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If you go, I need rolling papers. Well, since

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you're here, let's get this daily douchebag pledge

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out of the way. All right, bitches, swing your

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hips and pelvic thrust. Shout it out with me.

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I, Joe or Jane Listener, promise to download

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every podcast. I, Joe or Jane Listener, promise

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to make... All friends, family members, and workmates

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download the show. I, Joe or Jane Listener, promise

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to grab idle computers, work computers, friends

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computers, community computers, and other assorted

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phones and listening devices and download the

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show from there. I, Joe or Jane Listener, will

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download the show and constantly barrage everyone

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with show name and platforms. I, Joe or Jane

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Listener, promise to wear a chicken costume and

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screen the show's name from my front yard. And

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finally, because of our 13 -year -old boy humor,

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you must go to Knobloch Cooter Licking in Uranus,

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Missouri to take selfies with the signs. If you

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go to Uranus, go to the fudge factory. Yes, there's

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a fudge factory in Uranus. No joke. Here at Two

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Douchebags and a Microphone, we don't stand behind

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our journalistic integrity. Go ahead and assume

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we got the story wrong. At least we admit it.

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Not like all those other guys. We can and will

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lie if it makes the story better. Two douchebags

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and a microphone. So you want proof that we love

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you here at Q Douchebags and Microphone Central?

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Here's a proof right here about the drink of

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the week. Hey all you drunk belly dancers, this

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one's for you. This is a Butch Wacker. This is

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from Norwegian Cruise Line's Best Drinks. This

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is a chocolatey, delicious drink that you can

00:02:39.349 --> 00:02:42.210
make yourself. It starts out with one ounce of

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rum, one half ounce of Chocono, chocolate -flavored

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liqueur, one half ounce of Maca, one half ounce

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of Bailey's Irish Creek, one half ounce of Kahula,

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and one half ounce of Amaretto. Shake all together,

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put in a glass, and there you are. Delightful,

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chocolatey goodness. Enjoy. Two douchebags, a

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microphone, and an effort to keep everything

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fresh. We offer you First World Problems. My

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76 -inch smart HDMI, triphonic, stereo TV. My

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remote won't work unless I'm right in front of

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it. I can't believe it. This is bullshit. Hey

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fellas, remember to wipe away from the twins.

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Stay fresh ideas from the douchebags. Oh man,

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what the fuck is this? Is this a new feature?

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What's inside Mark's head? Sounds stupid to me.

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If you took my first name backwards, it would

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read as cram. Hey there, slap nuts. It's time

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for the Creeps Music News. Hey, my little pumpkin

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seeds. This is Johnny Rohypnol with your music

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news. Almost two decades after donating hundreds

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of signed books to the Negro Leagues Baseball

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Museum, a legendary musician returned to the

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museum Saturday to sign the book he wrote about

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his massive collection. Geddy Lee is best known

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as the lead vocalist and bassist for legendary

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rock band Rush. but the Negro Leagues Baseball

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Museum knows him best as the man who donated

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400 baseballs signed by Negro League players.

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Lee returned to the museum today to sign his

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new book about the stories tied to those baseballs,

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called 72 Stories from the Collection of Geddy

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Lee. Kendrick said Lee actually bid on the collection

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at an auction specifically to donate to the museum.

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Geddy, couldn't you have at least played a small

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set while in town? Casey isn't getting a tour

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date anyhow. This is Johnny Rohypnol. That was

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your music news. And remember, bar chords are

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bullshit. May you always step in a wet spot after

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putting on fresh socks. Hello, everybody. This

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is Two Douchebags and a Microphone. I am here

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in Eureka Springs. And I am... And Rob is on

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the line here. And he's with me, too. And we

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are broadcasting from the Crescent Hotel tonight.

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The America's Most Hot Hotel. Yes. Yes. So...

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I will have some pics up, too, after the podcast.

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So... Anyhow, Rob, how are you doing tonight

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while I try to get stuff organized here? I'm

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doing good. We're working overtime this week.

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Yeah, a lot of people are working overtime down

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here these days. That's good. My son started

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a different job, and they're working overtime.

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He works for Laker Tackle. Oh, that's cool. Oh,

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okay. Actually, they make some of the Eagle Cross

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stuff. Mm -hmm. Wow, that's cool. And they ship

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to Walmart and stuff like that. And stuff like

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that. Down here in Campton. Okay. Oh, yeah. That's

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cool. Okay. Well, hmm. I've got to figure this

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out because I was writing out a bunch of stuff

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for the mystery sports guy. And it's all messed

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up in here. So, okay, I'm going to start in on

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here right here. Okay, there's this local station

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here called KESA Radio. And I'm going to preface

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this with this right here. Larger market rock

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stations are so sterile. Would you agree? They're

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just all the same. You know, you go to Columbia,

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you go to Springfield, you go to Kansas City,

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you go to St. Louis, you go to Minneapolis, they're

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all the same playlist. And the same promos like,

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whew, you know, lock it in, you know, rip off

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the knob. You know, that's just, you know, that's

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the old Z Rock one, but something like that.

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Or playing the best. the best classic rock in

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the Midwest or something like that, right? They

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all sound the same. They're interchangeable,

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and a lot of them are the same voice guy, right?

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You hear the same guy in a lot of different markets,

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whoever it is. Yep. Okay, so this station down

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here is a breath of fresh air, and let me explain

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why. I mean, I really, I turn off satellite radio,

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I turn off internet radio, and I'm slowly listening

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to KESA legends. It's what they call it, or rock

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legends or something like that. But I'll explain

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it all here right here. So, like I said, the

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large markets all have the same playlists, the

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same promos. A lot of, for instance, is the same

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voice guy. So, smaller market stations are usually

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owned by individuals or small companies. These

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type of stations are usually not owned by corporations.

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There's not enough capital down here. They're

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not worried about these. You know, they're not

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going to be making their millions of dollars

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and their promo, you know, their live spots and

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stuff like that. You know, you send the Rockmobile

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down to the Liberty Memorial, okay? There's a

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concert going on there. Hey, hey, Jimbo, what's

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going on down there? Oh, yeah, we're giving away

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free popsicles. It's 110. You know, shit like

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that, right? Right. Okay. So, Eureka Springs

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is a town of a little over 2 ,000 people, but...

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When it's full, it's about 50 ,000 plus. Okay,

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so KESA radio from Eureka Springs playlist is

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amazing. Here is, you know, there's a lot of

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Jack FM types, right? And they all claim to play

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anything, right? But they all have a very similar

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playlist. And it's not that good, really. Once

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you crack the code and you listen to one jack

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station, you listen to every one of them because

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they all sound the same. They're probably all

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programmed by the same guy. So anyhow, so here's

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a sample right here. So this, and this is KESA

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radio. This station is legit, man. I mean, it's

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branded as Legends of Rock, which I like that

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branding. You don't hear that anywhere, do you?

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Legends of Rock. Yeah, because legends really

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have... If you're a rocker, that would catch

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your attention. Yeah. I'm going to leave it on

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here. you know because um i forgot i oh my uh

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my satellite radio went out and then my internet

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radio was spotty and i'm like i'm just gonna

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have to rely on regular radio because you know

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there's a lot of hills a lot of mountains here

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so we're right in a valley so it's very hard

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to get some signals sometimes so um that's like

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legends of rock i'm just gonna leave it here

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this sounds interesting so i it starts off with

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buddy holly that'll be the day great song right

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oh damn yeah okay let's go Yeah, classic song.

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Then it goes into Aldo Nova Fantasy. Holy shit.

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So you're riding with me, right? You're riding

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shotgun. You know what I'm saying, right? Yeah.

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Okay, so Guns N' Roses, Welcome to the Jungle.

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A great song, a little overplayed, but a great

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song. I appreciate it. Ozzy, Crazy Train, another

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overplayed but great song. And then they went

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into The Go -Go's, We Got the Beat. Oh, whoa.

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I did not see that coming. Johnny Cash, Fulton

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Prison Blues. Oh, wow. Alice in Chains, Angry

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Chair. In that order? Yes, in that order. And

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then it goes into Elvis, Blue Suede Shoes. I

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love it. Then it goes into Motley Crue. What

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was the name of that? K -E -S -A, Legends of

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Rock. I don't know if you can get it. I don't

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know if you can listen to it on the Internet

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or not. Try to if you get a chance. It's awesome.

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Yeah, I'm going to look it up. Yeah, K -E -S

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-A, Legends of Rock. That sounds like a cool

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station. It is. And like I said, I didn't care

00:12:00.129 --> 00:12:01.789
about anything else. I didn't want to listen

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to any of the shows that I listened to, nothing.

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I was like, I'm leaving it here. And then they

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went into Motley Crue, and they went into Wild

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Side, which I can appreciate. You don't hear

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that a whole lot. And then they went into Fleetwood

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Mac, and I don't know the name of the song. It's

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one of the ones with Christy McVie, and I love

00:12:20.470 --> 00:12:24.309
it. Let's see. When the sun goes down and the

00:12:24.309 --> 00:12:28.409
lights go up, say that you love me. Yeah, say

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that you love me. Great song, and I was always

00:12:32.570 --> 00:12:35.059
a Christy McVie guy. I always liked her much

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better than Stevie Nicks. No, not me. Okay, so

00:12:39.000 --> 00:12:42.080
that's fine. Okay, well, I mean, you know, we

00:12:42.080 --> 00:12:43.980
all have our own personal taste. I loved them

00:12:43.980 --> 00:12:45.980
both, but to me, I like Christy McBee a little

00:12:45.980 --> 00:12:52.159
bit better. So, okay. So, you know, the small

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market individual stations are what radio stations

00:12:54.960 --> 00:12:59.139
were to me before the corporations took it all

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over. Because they used to, you know. There was

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a station just on the Kansas side, just north

00:13:08.970 --> 00:13:11.909
of Fort Scott, Kansas, right? And it was called

00:13:11.909 --> 00:13:15.950
Rock 99. Do you remember that? Rock 99? Yes,

00:13:15.990 --> 00:13:19.950
yes. It was ran out of a guy's garage. Yeah,

00:13:19.950 --> 00:13:23.590
yeah. Yeah, it was excellent. He was really great.

00:13:23.750 --> 00:13:26.740
He was really good. Yeah. Yeah, and it was great

00:13:26.740 --> 00:13:30.120
because, you know, the personalities always invited

00:13:30.120 --> 00:13:33.559
older listeners. Hey, you know, we're over here

00:13:33.559 --> 00:13:35.539
at this address. Drop by the garage. Come by

00:13:35.539 --> 00:13:37.299
and say hi. You know, the bay doors are open.

00:13:37.379 --> 00:13:39.899
We're out here, you know, doing this. And so

00:13:39.899 --> 00:13:45.059
me and my old workmate, Brian, we were tooling

00:13:45.059 --> 00:13:49.200
up I -49, coming back from a week trip in Texas

00:13:49.200 --> 00:13:52.850
for work, right? We caught Rock 99 and they played

00:13:52.850 --> 00:13:55.970
Soundgarden, Fourth of July, The Melvins, and

00:13:55.970 --> 00:13:59.009
all these tracks that were never a single, let

00:13:59.009 --> 00:14:01.509
alone a hit. Yeah, you know, like Soundgarden,

00:14:01.610 --> 00:14:05.470
Fourth of July is like the eighth song on the

00:14:05.470 --> 00:14:07.029
second side. I mean, it's eighth altogether,

00:14:07.250 --> 00:14:08.830
I think, on the second side. Eighth or ninth

00:14:08.830 --> 00:14:11.169
song. There's like 10 or 11 songs on it. It's

00:14:11.169 --> 00:14:14.009
eighth or ninth song on the second side. And

00:14:14.009 --> 00:14:17.909
only real people, real fans, know that song.

00:14:19.309 --> 00:14:21.649
You know? Right. Yeah, and it's an interesting

00:14:21.649 --> 00:14:24.830
song because it was allegedly over Chris Cornell.

00:14:25.610 --> 00:14:29.509
He was a young child, and he saw this gruesome

00:14:29.509 --> 00:14:32.509
wreck on a highway. And he saw all these lights,

00:14:32.529 --> 00:14:34.129
and he goes, wow, he goes, that looks like the

00:14:34.129 --> 00:14:36.049
Fourth of July that he's seen dead bodies everywhere.

00:14:37.230 --> 00:14:40.669
Yeah. And it traumatized him. So, anyhow, they

00:14:40.669 --> 00:14:44.210
were playing that. So, K -E -S -A, Kessa or whatever,

00:14:44.389 --> 00:14:48.360
the legend, morning show dude. with an extreme

00:14:48.360 --> 00:14:54.240
southern draw his name was a weird like um i

00:14:54.240 --> 00:14:58.200
think is delonia delonia or something like that

00:14:58.200 --> 00:15:01.720
delona or something it was a guy and i was enjoying

00:15:01.720 --> 00:15:04.879
this show he was uh doing celebs birthdays and

00:15:04.879 --> 00:15:08.279
and you know and talking local events but it

00:15:08.279 --> 00:15:10.659
was really cool because he had this extreme southern

00:15:10.659 --> 00:15:14.059
draw and he sounds a lot like the the character

00:15:14.059 --> 00:15:17.940
that we do um that the technical explanation

00:15:17.940 --> 00:15:20.100
guy is always screwing with, asking them dumb

00:15:20.100 --> 00:15:23.820
questions? Yeah. Yeah, and this guy is, you know,

00:15:23.840 --> 00:15:29.759
they had this promo where they were tooling around

00:15:29.759 --> 00:15:32.039
asking randoms, you know, about their favorite

00:15:32.039 --> 00:15:36.679
station, right? And, you know, it's such a small

00:15:36.679 --> 00:15:40.179
townish type of a station that the guy would

00:15:40.179 --> 00:15:42.779
ask someone... what their favorite station was,

00:15:42.960 --> 00:15:46.779
and they would go, he or she would go, K -E -S

00:15:46.779 --> 00:15:50.559
-A, but it was like an 80 -year -old sounding

00:15:50.559 --> 00:15:54.120
people, you know, and they would have trouble

00:15:54.120 --> 00:15:57.059
spelling the name and all that stuff. They'd

00:15:57.059 --> 00:16:00.240
be like, I'll give an example, go, hey, this

00:16:00.240 --> 00:16:03.840
is Jimbo. What is your favorite radio station?

00:16:04.179 --> 00:16:09.799
And they go, K -E -S -A. And then you hear someone

00:16:09.799 --> 00:16:14.590
going, Rock Lake. Rock legends. Okay, thank you.

00:16:14.629 --> 00:16:16.590
Another satisfied customer. And let's go over

00:16:16.590 --> 00:16:18.909
here. And then the next one would be just like

00:16:18.909 --> 00:16:28.490
it. What's your favorite station? K -E -S -S

00:16:28.490 --> 00:16:31.830
-A. And I mean, I couldn't believe that they

00:16:31.830 --> 00:16:34.409
actually put these on. You know what I mean?

00:16:35.090 --> 00:16:37.350
I mean, I hate to be a dick, but I mean, they

00:16:37.350 --> 00:16:40.679
sounded horrible. I mean, you figure they could

00:16:40.679 --> 00:16:42.500
just have a friend come by and do it or something,

00:16:42.559 --> 00:16:45.419
go, you know, and just fake it. But these were,

00:16:45.480 --> 00:16:47.159
like, real. You could tell. They're just people

00:16:47.159 --> 00:16:48.519
that are walking down the road. They go, hey,

00:16:48.700 --> 00:16:50.440
what's your favorite station? And they probably

00:16:50.440 --> 00:16:52.379
gave them some stickers or something, you know,

00:16:52.379 --> 00:16:55.000
a little prize or something. And said, hey, yeah,

00:16:55.039 --> 00:17:00.039
say K -E -S -A, you know. But it was funny. When

00:17:00.039 --> 00:17:02.120
you hear it, if you can get it online, you'll

00:17:02.120 --> 00:17:03.600
see what I mean. And now that I've pointed it

00:17:03.600 --> 00:17:05.339
out, you'll laugh your ass off. You'll go, oh,

00:17:05.460 --> 00:17:09.829
my God. But I appreciated it. They didn't care.

00:17:10.029 --> 00:17:12.650
They know they're a small market. They know they're

00:17:12.650 --> 00:17:14.910
low budget, and they don't care. The guy, like

00:17:14.910 --> 00:17:17.890
I said, is going, now, we're going to have the

00:17:17.890 --> 00:17:20.349
Tulip Festival later on this afternoon, so be

00:17:20.349 --> 00:17:22.609
sure you're down there in the hay field, and

00:17:22.609 --> 00:17:25.289
you go to the left, and you see those three bundles

00:17:25.289 --> 00:17:27.750
of hay? You go around the corner there. There's

00:17:27.750 --> 00:17:30.029
going to be a red barn right in that red barn,

00:17:30.349 --> 00:17:32.069
you know, and all this stuff. That's the Tulip

00:17:32.069 --> 00:17:35.029
Fest. Go in there and ask for Jenny. And it was

00:17:35.029 --> 00:17:37.289
just refreshing because, I mean, this is just

00:17:37.289 --> 00:17:39.900
kind of like their way of life. dude and i mean

00:17:39.900 --> 00:17:44.259
yeah yeah are you digging this like i am or i'm

00:17:44.259 --> 00:17:52.279
just like i don't know no that's what i'm saying

00:17:52.279 --> 00:17:54.359
it doesn't matter they can sit around and scratch

00:17:54.359 --> 00:17:56.680
their balls and people would still listen they

00:17:56.680 --> 00:17:59.940
can sit around go oh yeah everybody listens this

00:17:59.940 --> 00:18:02.140
is a fuckwad and we don't want you listening

00:18:02.680 --> 00:18:04.400
And people go, I don't care. The music's good.

00:18:05.480 --> 00:18:08.900
That's a good radio station right there. Yeah,

00:18:08.900 --> 00:18:11.539
I'm going to. And as a matter of fact, I'm going

00:18:11.539 --> 00:18:13.420
to look it up, too, when I get a chance. And

00:18:13.420 --> 00:18:17.180
I will listen to it at home. Because that playlist.

00:18:17.500 --> 00:18:20.420
It'd be like if we turned this into a radio station.

00:18:20.640 --> 00:18:22.900
Yes, it would. And the thing is, is this is shit

00:18:22.900 --> 00:18:25.160
I couldn't even think of. I was kind of like,

00:18:25.160 --> 00:18:28.359
gosh. I never thought about Buddy Holly into

00:18:28.359 --> 00:18:32.640
Aldo Nova. Into Motley Crue. Yeah, that. Into

00:18:32.640 --> 00:18:36.759
Elvis. Into Johnny Cash. Into Fleetwood Mac.

00:18:36.839 --> 00:18:39.500
Yeah. They played a lot of Tom Petty, too, which

00:18:39.500 --> 00:18:44.859
didn't hurt my feelings. I don't know. It is

00:18:44.859 --> 00:18:47.059
a fabulous radio station. I was just like, I

00:18:47.059 --> 00:18:50.660
was like, wow. I will definitely look into it.

00:18:51.380 --> 00:18:54.359
Yep. So the horrible promos were just a, they

00:18:54.359 --> 00:18:57.740
were a fun part of it, though. So, anyhow, and

00:18:57.740 --> 00:19:00.579
his name was like Delaney. I think it's Delaney.

00:19:00.900 --> 00:19:04.180
He goes, this is Delaney and I'm over here. You

00:19:04.180 --> 00:19:07.259
know, whatever he's doing. It's pretty cool.

00:19:08.200 --> 00:19:10.720
So, and yeah, and he's saying something about

00:19:10.720 --> 00:19:12.819
like Bill's Antiques or something. We're going

00:19:12.819 --> 00:19:14.700
to be down at Bill's Antiques. I'm going to be

00:19:14.700 --> 00:19:17.480
over there polishing the brass platoons, you

00:19:17.480 --> 00:19:22.759
know, or something. It's pretty cool. So, anyhow,

00:19:23.099 --> 00:19:25.960
it's almost Halloween, right? Or All Hallows

00:19:25.960 --> 00:19:31.049
Eve if you're a druid. So these are some stats

00:19:31.049 --> 00:19:34.210
for the holiday, okay? Now, I got a green light

00:19:34.210 --> 00:19:35.650
out here. For some reason, they have a green

00:19:35.650 --> 00:19:38.369
light. It's really hard for me to read because

00:19:38.369 --> 00:19:40.589
the light's pretty dim, so bear with me. And

00:19:40.589 --> 00:19:43.210
I'm trying to be near the mic as best I can and

00:19:43.210 --> 00:19:45.650
read, but it's kind of hard to do because the

00:19:45.650 --> 00:19:47.950
last time we did this, it was full daylight because

00:19:47.950 --> 00:19:52.609
this time of night, 8 o 'clock, it was still

00:19:52.609 --> 00:19:55.390
daylight. Now it's later in the year, you know,

00:19:55.430 --> 00:19:59.619
it's getting... towards the end of October and

00:19:59.619 --> 00:20:01.920
everything's dark now so it's really hard for

00:20:01.920 --> 00:20:04.759
me to read this stuff so if I sound choppy and

00:20:04.759 --> 00:20:07.180
I sound like I'm not where I'm going I don't

00:20:07.180 --> 00:20:08.599
know where I'm going yeah then that's what's

00:20:08.599 --> 00:20:10.099
going on I don't know where I'm going I'm trying

00:20:10.099 --> 00:20:15.420
to read it as I go so um okay so uh parents that

00:20:15.420 --> 00:20:17.579
one in four parents hide their children's candy

00:20:17.579 --> 00:20:21.779
to eat later when they're not around can you

00:20:21.779 --> 00:20:27.430
believe that No, uh -uh. No, they're wrong. They're

00:20:27.430 --> 00:20:30.230
wrong. Why would parents do that? I would never

00:20:30.230 --> 00:20:34.230
do that. Would you, Rob? No, that's a bad parent.

00:20:34.430 --> 00:20:37.549
Yes, oh my God. I was appalled, Rob. I was appalled.

00:20:37.750 --> 00:20:43.130
So, the number one parent's candy is Reese's

00:20:43.130 --> 00:20:45.450
Peanut Butter Cups, and I believe that. Yep.

00:20:45.529 --> 00:20:49.150
We grew up on them, okay? Yep, that's my favorite.

00:20:49.410 --> 00:20:52.609
Me too. Number two is Snickers, which is solid.

00:20:53.380 --> 00:20:55.460
Oh, okay. Yeah, I like them. I mean, they're

00:20:55.460 --> 00:20:57.940
not up there in the top five with me, but I like

00:20:57.940 --> 00:20:59.619
them very well. I would never turn one down,

00:20:59.740 --> 00:21:01.119
you know. I'd be like, oh, yeah, give me that

00:21:01.119 --> 00:21:03.940
fucking Snickers. Number three are Kit Kats.

00:21:03.940 --> 00:21:06.920
I would put them ahead of Snickers, but I'm not

00:21:06.920 --> 00:21:11.279
picky. All right. And number four is Twix, which

00:21:11.279 --> 00:21:14.380
is another good one. And number five is M &M's,

00:21:14.400 --> 00:21:16.559
good old M &M's. And you can't go wrong with

00:21:16.559 --> 00:21:19.599
M &M's, yeah. Yeah, M &M's are just fun. You

00:21:19.599 --> 00:21:21.579
know, someone could just have their arm cut off

00:21:21.579 --> 00:21:23.019
and you give them a bag of M &M's and they'd

00:21:23.019 --> 00:21:26.859
be giggling and laughing. M &M's. Fuck my arm.

00:21:26.880 --> 00:21:28.519
I don't care. I don't need it. Give me those

00:21:28.519 --> 00:21:31.240
M &M's. I'll be all right. So, all right. And

00:21:31.240 --> 00:21:34.920
the children's favorites are, number one, and

00:21:34.920 --> 00:21:37.079
this is such a discrepancy, dude. You're going

00:21:37.079 --> 00:21:40.279
to be like, what? But kids are completely different

00:21:40.279 --> 00:21:45.200
than us, as we know. So, number one is Sour Patch

00:21:45.200 --> 00:21:53.309
Kids candy. Okay. Number two is Skittles. Number

00:21:53.309 --> 00:21:58.650
three are Kit Kats. Number four are M &M's. Okay,

00:21:58.690 --> 00:22:01.069
that's solid. And so is Kit Kats. Okay. And number

00:22:01.069 --> 00:22:03.930
five is Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. Now, those

00:22:03.930 --> 00:22:07.190
are all in line, but the first two, I just, I

00:22:07.190 --> 00:22:11.089
don't get it. Yeah. Do you get that? Sarah Patch

00:22:11.089 --> 00:22:15.089
Kids and Skittles? Yeah, that started coming

00:22:15.089 --> 00:22:18.400
on back in... 90s when they started coming out.

00:22:18.400 --> 00:22:20.119
Yeah, I guess so. They started liking the real

00:22:20.119 --> 00:22:23.039
little balls of sugar as opposed to chocolate

00:22:23.039 --> 00:22:27.599
and caramel. Well, okay, okay. We had Smarties.

00:22:28.160 --> 00:22:31.539
Yes, you know what? You're right. Okay, we had

00:22:31.539 --> 00:22:36.519
Smarties. That was our sour stuff. Yes. Okay,

00:22:36.599 --> 00:22:39.700
good point. Okay, now they have like Sour Patch

00:22:39.700 --> 00:22:44.339
Kids. Sour Patch Kids everything these days.

00:22:45.259 --> 00:22:50.019
Okay. Gummy bears, whatever. Okay. You know what?

00:22:50.079 --> 00:22:52.140
You just made sense of it, Rob. You're right.

00:22:52.220 --> 00:22:55.339
Okay. All right. Yeah. Yeah, we used to have

00:22:55.339 --> 00:22:58.440
those big sweet tarts. Remember the big ones?

00:22:58.579 --> 00:23:00.839
They had the sour ones. Yeah. Oh, my gosh. Those

00:23:00.839 --> 00:23:04.160
were good. Okay. I get it. I get it. That's pretty

00:23:04.160 --> 00:23:07.599
much the same. Now it's called sour. Yeah, they're

00:23:07.599 --> 00:23:09.660
just a different brand, but they're sour and

00:23:09.660 --> 00:23:15.259
kids like them. Okay. I get it. So. Anyhow, Burger

00:23:15.259 --> 00:23:21.059
King has a spooky Whopper fact, and it has an

00:23:21.059 --> 00:23:25.140
orange and black bun, ghoul fries, plus other

00:23:25.140 --> 00:23:27.799
Halloween items. So if you're that big into Halloween,

00:23:28.019 --> 00:23:30.720
you might go by Burger King and grab you an orange

00:23:30.720 --> 00:23:33.460
and black Whopper that tastes the same, but just

00:23:33.460 --> 00:23:41.240
looks different. So... Not for me. I don't want

00:23:41.240 --> 00:23:45.990
you... No, me too. I'm the same way, because

00:23:45.990 --> 00:23:48.970
when I read it, I'm like, ah. I know there's

00:23:48.970 --> 00:23:52.269
nothing wrong. I've already had houses before.

00:23:52.349 --> 00:23:54.750
I know what black mold looks like. Oh, yeah.

00:23:55.329 --> 00:23:57.109
Hopefully you're wearing your gown. Black bread

00:23:57.109 --> 00:24:00.529
would look like black mold. Yes. Yeah, black

00:24:00.529 --> 00:24:05.910
mold. That stuff is nasty, too. Okay, you're

00:24:05.910 --> 00:24:09.440
right. I would think mold. So, I just knew I

00:24:09.440 --> 00:24:11.259
didn't like it when I read it. I'm like, eh,

00:24:11.539 --> 00:24:14.019
I don't know about that. Now you put it in perspective.

00:24:14.339 --> 00:24:16.319
It looks like black mold. Can you give me a regular

00:24:16.319 --> 00:24:18.599
Whopper? Yeah, yeah, me too. It looks like black

00:24:18.599 --> 00:24:21.279
mold with like a pumpkin top. Yeah. Yeah, no.

00:24:21.440 --> 00:24:26.380
No, no. Thank you. So, anyhow, we got back from

00:24:26.380 --> 00:24:30.799
dinner too late last night, the ghost tour, and

00:24:30.799 --> 00:24:33.539
then tonight we got back too late too. So, we

00:24:33.539 --> 00:24:36.920
couldn't... I couldn't yell at the ghost guy.

00:24:36.980 --> 00:24:39.259
I couldn't go boo. And so I'm hoping I'll be

00:24:39.259 --> 00:24:41.799
here tomorrow night when he's doing the tour

00:24:41.799 --> 00:24:46.519
so I can piss him off again. But this time I'm

00:24:46.519 --> 00:24:48.019
on the other side, so I'm going to freak him

00:24:48.019 --> 00:24:51.319
out. Because normally I'm on the, we're in the

00:24:51.319 --> 00:24:53.740
Penthouse suite. Well, we're in the Flatiron

00:24:53.740 --> 00:24:57.019
suite tonight. And it is just on the other side,

00:24:57.200 --> 00:25:00.420
on the other balcony on the north side. And I'm

00:25:00.420 --> 00:25:02.960
not in front of the room that someone always

00:25:02.960 --> 00:25:05.599
looks out and they're naked. I'm to the side

00:25:05.599 --> 00:25:07.440
of that, so I'm not going to have to, you know,

00:25:07.440 --> 00:25:09.940
all of a sudden, like, wash my eyes out with

00:25:09.940 --> 00:25:14.180
Listerine again or nothing. But anyhow, when

00:25:14.180 --> 00:25:15.680
I yell at him, he's going to be, like, thinking,

00:25:15.740 --> 00:25:18.480
unless he recognizes my face, like, another one?

00:25:19.519 --> 00:25:24.819
You know, so, anyhow, so... Anyhow, I'm hoping

00:25:24.819 --> 00:25:27.759
to be on that balcony tomorrow night when he

00:25:27.759 --> 00:25:31.079
does the... when he does a tour because the tour

00:25:31.079 --> 00:25:34.279
starts virtually almost in front of here at the

00:25:34.279 --> 00:25:38.039
basin park hotel and so and it's real easy to

00:25:38.039 --> 00:25:39.900
pick him off there because he's gathering everybody

00:25:39.900 --> 00:25:42.940
up and then every time he would say ghost i could

00:25:42.940 --> 00:25:44.740
hear him really well and i could hear him from

00:25:44.740 --> 00:25:48.960
here and i would be and oh my gosh he gets so

00:25:48.960 --> 00:25:51.819
mad people be snickering and and everybody's

00:25:51.819 --> 00:25:53.799
attention started dividing which really pissed

00:25:53.799 --> 00:25:55.799
him off because about the fourth time he said

00:25:55.799 --> 00:25:59.019
boo People started looking going, who is that

00:25:59.019 --> 00:26:01.640
idiot? And they start rubbing their neck at me.

00:26:01.799 --> 00:26:03.660
And you can see he's like trying to get their

00:26:03.660 --> 00:26:05.640
attention. And he's getting pissed off. He's

00:26:05.640 --> 00:26:07.920
like, fucking asshole. He needs to shut up, man.

00:26:07.980 --> 00:26:12.599
Everybody's not even looking at me now. So, anyhow.

00:26:15.160 --> 00:26:20.079
Let's see. Take your job seriously. Yeah. So,

00:26:20.220 --> 00:26:24.359
down here, I'm wearing my Lenny the Cool shirt.

00:26:24.519 --> 00:26:30.539
Are you familiar? No. Okay. It is a Len Dawson

00:26:30.539 --> 00:26:34.599
sitting on the sideline in a chair, smoking a

00:26:34.599 --> 00:26:37.519
cigarette and drinking a Fresca out of a bottle.

00:26:38.920 --> 00:26:41.700
Okay, I remember that. Yeah, it's a famous picture.

00:26:41.960 --> 00:26:45.160
Okay, I didn't know they made shirts now. I've

00:26:45.160 --> 00:26:49.460
got one, yeah. Oh, wow. I remember when he did

00:26:49.460 --> 00:26:52.660
that. Yeah, that's where Lenny the Cool was tagged.

00:26:53.359 --> 00:26:54.920
Because people are like, you don't get cooler

00:26:54.920 --> 00:26:57.660
than that. Look at him. He's a stud quarterback

00:26:57.660 --> 00:27:02.039
on the sidelines smoking a cigarette and slamming

00:27:02.039 --> 00:27:04.759
a fresca while he is looking at games. He was

00:27:04.759 --> 00:27:07.299
known for smoking cigarettes on the sidelines.

00:27:07.579 --> 00:27:10.799
Yes. And it was just amazing. And so I found

00:27:10.799 --> 00:27:12.319
this shirt online and I was like, I've got to

00:27:12.319 --> 00:27:14.720
have that. So I have like three compliments today.

00:27:14.799 --> 00:27:16.859
There's more Kansas City people here than I knew.

00:27:17.519 --> 00:27:19.940
And every time I'd be like, hey, one guy thought

00:27:19.940 --> 00:27:21.720
it was Joe Namath. He is from Kansas City. He

00:27:21.720 --> 00:27:23.559
goes, hey, is that Joe Namath? I said, no, it's

00:27:23.559 --> 00:27:25.819
Len Doss. He goes, oh, yeah, yeah. And he was

00:27:25.819 --> 00:27:28.240
like, they were really cool. It was down at the

00:27:28.240 --> 00:27:30.619
coffee shop. And then a couple other people,

00:27:30.619 --> 00:27:32.859
one at the barbecue joint, he came up. He goes,

00:27:32.900 --> 00:27:34.720
hey. He goes, you know, he didn't live in Kansas

00:27:34.720 --> 00:27:40.660
City now. They live in, shit, southern Louisiana.

00:27:42.119 --> 00:27:46.369
Damn, I can't think. Not Fayette. Shoot. Anyhow.

00:27:47.589 --> 00:27:50.369
Anyhow, Lafayette. They live in Lafayette. Okay,

00:27:50.509 --> 00:27:53.309
Lafayette. Yeah, south of New Orleans a little

00:27:53.309 --> 00:27:56.109
bit. So they live there, and they don't claim

00:27:56.109 --> 00:27:58.049
New Orleans, by the way, just so everyone knows.

00:27:58.670 --> 00:28:01.690
People from Lafayette are not New Orleans people.

00:28:02.170 --> 00:28:03.849
They want everybody to know that. They let me

00:28:03.849 --> 00:28:05.710
know. I was like, okay, I didn't think you were.

00:28:05.829 --> 00:28:08.130
That's cool. I love New Orleans. I didn't know

00:28:08.130 --> 00:28:10.769
that. No, I know. They consider themselves completely

00:28:10.769 --> 00:28:13.650
different people. I love New Orleans, so whatever

00:28:13.650 --> 00:28:15.690
they got going on with them, I don't care. But

00:28:15.690 --> 00:28:18.309
I was like, okay, all right. I know you're Lafayette.

00:28:18.349 --> 00:28:22.569
That's cool. Yeah, it's like Montrose and...

00:28:22.569 --> 00:28:30.819
Oh, shit. Montrose and Butler? Oh, well... What

00:28:30.819 --> 00:28:35.059
was that other town? Um, oh, oh, Tidewad. Tidewad,

00:28:35.160 --> 00:28:37.480
yeah. Oh, Montrose and Tide, oh yeah, their little

00:28:37.480 --> 00:28:40.779
rivalry that they had. Yeah. Okay, yeah, yeah.

00:28:40.960 --> 00:28:44.700
Which, dude, I started rolling the other day

00:28:44.700 --> 00:28:49.099
when we went to Princess's son's wedding last

00:28:49.099 --> 00:28:53.259
Saturday. Uh -huh. We drove, which, we drove

00:28:53.259 --> 00:28:57.400
a 13. Well, there in Clinton we had to jump on

00:28:57.400 --> 00:29:04.759
7. Uh -huh. Or, well, I seen signs to Montrose,

00:29:04.859 --> 00:29:08.740
and I just started rolling. I was like, Montrose,

00:29:08.859 --> 00:29:11.740
five miles. She goes, what are you laughing at?

00:29:12.440 --> 00:29:17.059
I said, Montrose. And I had to explain Montrose

00:29:17.059 --> 00:29:20.000
to her. What did she say? Did she roll her eyes

00:29:20.000 --> 00:29:21.960
and go, forget it, I don't want to know, like

00:29:21.960 --> 00:29:24.640
Val does? Yeah, pretty much. Pretty much, yeah.

00:29:24.900 --> 00:29:28.180
Let me tell you, we are a men's skewing show.

00:29:30.769 --> 00:29:33.210
Although we have a lot of females writing in,

00:29:33.269 --> 00:29:36.190
we're a men's skewing show. Because most women

00:29:36.190 --> 00:29:38.730
I tell this to, Val or anybody else that bothers

00:29:38.730 --> 00:29:41.849
to ask, by the time I get done, they're rolling

00:29:41.849 --> 00:29:46.269
their eyes and going, never mind. So I would

00:29:46.269 --> 00:29:48.970
say that most women do not like our potty humor.

00:29:50.829 --> 00:29:53.950
Which is fine. That's fine. Everybody doesn't

00:29:53.950 --> 00:29:58.470
have to like it. Well, it helps if you do all

00:29:58.470 --> 00:30:02.210
throws. The Montrose was fun. Well, they lasted

00:30:02.210 --> 00:30:04.130
until they tore down their power plant and didn't

00:30:04.130 --> 00:30:10.890
tell us. I was serious when I said I was a teenager

00:30:10.890 --> 00:30:15.069
going down there camping and stuff. Oh, no, no,

00:30:15.190 --> 00:30:18.430
me too. They got great campgrounds there. And

00:30:18.430 --> 00:30:21.069
a nice lake. No, no, I agree with you. Lacing,

00:30:21.230 --> 00:30:24.609
too. Both of them. Yeah, yeah. Well, they were

00:30:24.609 --> 00:30:32.160
both owned by KCP &L. Uh -huh. Oh, that's right.

00:30:33.019 --> 00:30:38.960
You told me that. I forgot. Yeah, I remember

00:30:38.960 --> 00:30:41.660
you could fish, well, you still can in Lacine.

00:30:41.839 --> 00:30:45.220
You could fish all year round. Yeah. Because

00:30:45.220 --> 00:30:47.619
they would put the water, the used hot water

00:30:47.619 --> 00:30:51.519
back in the lake. Yeah. And it would warm the

00:30:51.519 --> 00:30:53.440
whole lake up. It would never freeze over. It

00:30:53.440 --> 00:30:55.500
would be 10 below. I've seen people out there

00:30:55.500 --> 00:30:58.740
10 below, and they're out there fishing and catching

00:30:58.740 --> 00:31:01.960
fish. And I'm like, no, not me. That's okay.

00:31:02.380 --> 00:31:06.420
If I ate fish, if I liked fish, I would go buy

00:31:06.420 --> 00:31:11.420
it. I'm not going to sit out there. No. Anyhow

00:31:11.420 --> 00:31:13.759
and also I've worked there before I've worked

00:31:13.759 --> 00:31:16.160
at Lacing and every night when I got home I had

00:31:16.160 --> 00:31:18.599
to take three showers to get all of the black

00:31:18.599 --> 00:31:21.759
out of my hair That's coal dust and you know

00:31:21.759 --> 00:31:24.619
what coal dust does Rob? It destroys your lungs.

00:31:24.720 --> 00:31:28.119
It's called black lung. It's horrible. So Yeah,

00:31:28.480 --> 00:31:30.039
and that's another reason I wouldn't eat the

00:31:30.039 --> 00:31:32.579
fish there You know all that sediment goes in

00:31:32.579 --> 00:31:35.480
the water and the fish eat it and then you eat

00:31:35.480 --> 00:31:40.440
it. So I don't know I survived Okay. All right.

00:31:40.519 --> 00:31:42.640
You know, no, there's a process to get it out,

00:31:42.660 --> 00:31:46.319
though. Did you know that? You soak it in something

00:31:46.319 --> 00:31:49.579
like diluted vinegar or something. I can't remember.

00:31:50.119 --> 00:31:54.579
Are you familiar? No. I'll have to look it up.

00:31:54.579 --> 00:31:57.019
That would ruin the taste of the fish. That's

00:31:57.019 --> 00:31:58.779
what I thought, too, and I don't even like fish.

00:31:59.220 --> 00:32:01.400
But supposedly, the people that used to live

00:32:01.400 --> 00:32:04.420
next door to us in Cleveland when I was young,

00:32:04.480 --> 00:32:06.400
when I was at the... When I was at the house

00:32:06.400 --> 00:32:11.099
that I grew up in at that time, the neighbors

00:32:11.099 --> 00:32:14.960
were like real kind of hillbillish, and so they

00:32:14.960 --> 00:32:18.400
would literally like gasoline streams, which

00:32:18.400 --> 00:32:21.640
now that I know about it, I hate it, but I was

00:32:21.640 --> 00:32:24.359
young, and they would be soaking these huge fish

00:32:24.359 --> 00:32:28.599
in water, and I'd be like, why are they doing

00:32:28.599 --> 00:32:30.359
that? Oh, to get the gasoline out. Well, how

00:32:30.359 --> 00:32:32.059
do you get gasoline? And they'd just smile, and

00:32:32.059 --> 00:32:35.980
I'm like, oh, fucking assholes. so um and they

00:32:35.980 --> 00:32:37.779
were the ones that said that they efficiently

00:32:37.779 --> 00:32:39.720
seen and said you can get all that sediment out

00:32:39.720 --> 00:32:42.460
of there but it was a process you had to soak

00:32:42.460 --> 00:32:44.779
it for a couple of days and something i can't

00:32:44.779 --> 00:32:48.180
remember but anyhow it doesn't matter and um

00:32:48.180 --> 00:32:50.299
and then i have some other stuff i want to say

00:32:50.299 --> 00:32:53.400
one more thing before we get to you here is um

00:32:53.400 --> 00:32:56.299
i did something really cool and i'm going to

00:32:56.299 --> 00:32:58.940
start doing this i found 40 scan discs you know

00:32:58.940 --> 00:33:00.240
those little discs that you can put all that

00:33:00.240 --> 00:33:04.180
information on Okay, each one of these smaller

00:33:04.180 --> 00:33:08.319
Scandis that I don't use anymore, they hold 40

00:33:08.319 --> 00:33:13.000
shows. So I loaded 40 of them up. It was real

00:33:13.000 --> 00:33:14.920
easy because I could load them all up at once

00:33:14.920 --> 00:33:17.619
because this program I have. So I would just

00:33:17.619 --> 00:33:20.539
pop one in. It would load up automatically. I'd

00:33:20.539 --> 00:33:22.279
come back two minutes later, pop another one.

00:33:22.420 --> 00:33:26.519
I did all 40 of, or I think it's like 36 Scandis.

00:33:26.619 --> 00:33:31.250
I did all of them with... And I put them all

00:33:31.250 --> 00:33:35.410
on these 40, I put them all on the 36 or so of

00:33:35.410 --> 00:33:37.349
them. And then I put them everywhere, around

00:33:37.349 --> 00:33:39.849
here and on the way here. I put the little scan

00:33:39.849 --> 00:33:43.430
discs in corners. I put them on balconies. I

00:33:43.430 --> 00:33:45.450
put them everywhere so people will find them.

00:33:45.569 --> 00:33:47.589
They'll pick them up and they'll put them in

00:33:47.589 --> 00:33:49.509
their computer and our shows will be on there,

00:33:49.529 --> 00:33:54.910
40 of them. Yeah, so we'll see. I mean, I'm going

00:33:54.910 --> 00:33:56.970
to look and see the listenership and see if it

00:33:56.970 --> 00:34:00.089
spikes around here. and all the way down there.

00:34:00.210 --> 00:34:02.349
I mean, it very well may not spike around here.

00:34:02.430 --> 00:34:04.630
Everybody from here is not from here, you know.

00:34:04.970 --> 00:34:09.010
Yeah, it'd be visitors. It would be different

00:34:09.010 --> 00:34:11.349
places. Yeah, there are a lot of Texas people,

00:34:11.550 --> 00:34:14.670
a lot of Illinois people, a lot of Louisiana

00:34:14.670 --> 00:34:17.690
people, a lot of Oklahoma people, so it could

00:34:17.690 --> 00:34:20.210
be anywhere. I mean, pretty much in the seven

00:34:20.210 --> 00:34:24.489
-state Midwest kind of area. There's quite a

00:34:24.489 --> 00:34:29.230
few Ohio people here. that uh they own the coffee

00:34:29.230 --> 00:34:32.789
no the the ice cream shop just a few doors down

00:34:32.789 --> 00:34:37.710
from here and uh and uh they have this is interesting

00:34:37.710 --> 00:34:51.380
okay and uh Pop -pop fruit, the gummies are pop

00:34:51.380 --> 00:34:53.280
-pop fruit. I'm like, why in the hell would you

00:34:53.280 --> 00:34:55.820
do pop -pop fruit when you have grape, orange,

00:34:56.079 --> 00:34:58.420
you know, strawberry, all that regular stuff

00:34:58.420 --> 00:35:00.800
that people like, right? I'm like, why did they

00:35:00.800 --> 00:35:03.400
do pop -pop fruit? Well, I guess among the youngsters,

00:35:03.659 --> 00:35:07.059
pop -pop fruits are amazing. And in Ohio, where

00:35:07.059 --> 00:35:08.960
these people are from, they have pop -pop fruit.

00:35:09.300 --> 00:35:12.800
They have festivals. And they have, I got pop

00:35:12.800 --> 00:35:16.039
-pop fruit drinks in a pop -pop fruit ice cream

00:35:16.039 --> 00:35:21.500
bar. from the ice cream shop down the road. So

00:35:21.500 --> 00:35:24.099
pawpaw, I was joking around about it, but they're

00:35:24.099 --> 00:35:26.260
like a huge thing, and I guess in Ohio they have

00:35:26.260 --> 00:35:29.380
several pawpaw fruit festivals. And I don't even

00:35:29.380 --> 00:35:31.579
think the shit's that good, but I don't know.

00:35:31.719 --> 00:35:35.599
So, anyhow. Rob, let's go ahead and turn this

00:35:35.599 --> 00:35:40.420
whole shit show over to you. Alright. Stevie

00:35:40.420 --> 00:35:43.440
Nicks Barbie made a dramatic entrance and wasted

00:35:43.440 --> 00:35:46.760
no time breaking the internet. or for some bands,

00:35:47.000 --> 00:35:51.340
a few hearts along the way. The long wait was

00:35:51.340 --> 00:35:54.639
over as the American Toy Company officially introduced

00:35:54.639 --> 00:35:58.579
its second collaboration with the former Fleetwood

00:35:58.579 --> 00:36:03.000
Mac member. On Tuesday, Barbie shared a closer

00:36:03.000 --> 00:36:06.699
look at the Stevie Nicks doll, a tribute to the

00:36:06.699 --> 00:36:09.820
music legend's enduring influence and status

00:36:09.820 --> 00:36:14.119
as the queen of rock. The figure showcased the

00:36:14.119 --> 00:36:17.900
five -time Grammy award -winning superstar in

00:36:17.900 --> 00:36:23.920
her Belladonna era. A defining moment not only

00:36:23.920 --> 00:36:27.199
in her solo career but also as a reflection of

00:36:27.199 --> 00:36:31.659
her mystical and bohemian persona. Nate's Barbie

00:36:31.659 --> 00:36:35.559
collaboration captures her in an all -white ensemble

00:36:35.559 --> 00:36:40.079
reminiscent to the one featured on her Belladonna

00:36:40.079 --> 00:36:44.690
album cover. Okay, I remember that one. That

00:36:44.690 --> 00:36:48.170
was her solo album, wasn't it? Huh? That was

00:36:48.170 --> 00:36:51.829
her solo album, wasn't it? Yeah, yeah. Yeah,

00:36:51.869 --> 00:37:01.409
okay. Okay, next Barbie collaboration capture.

00:37:01.570 --> 00:37:05.530
Okay, yeah. The outfit, one of her most iconic

00:37:05.530 --> 00:37:09.989
and timeless looks, features a lowly ethereal

00:37:09.989 --> 00:37:14.070
gown with billowing sleeves and delicate lace

00:37:14.070 --> 00:37:17.420
details. that perfectly embodied the dreamy,

00:37:17.420 --> 00:37:21.380
free -spirited energy that made her a rock legend.

00:37:22.900 --> 00:37:27.679
Spellbound from Fleetwood Mac frontwoman to massive

00:37:27.679 --> 00:37:32.400
solo star, Stevie Nicks as an icon of free -spirited

00:37:32.400 --> 00:37:35.460
talent in style with a second Barbie doll tribute

00:37:35.460 --> 00:37:39.380
to the Queen of Rock is an homage to her Belladonna

00:37:39.380 --> 00:37:42.960
era album that launched her multi -platform solo

00:37:42.960 --> 00:37:48.010
career. Not at major retailers, or now at major

00:37:48.010 --> 00:37:53.610
retailers, the Instagram caption reads. Not,

00:37:53.610 --> 00:38:00.670
okay. Yeah, it sold out quick. Wow. However,

00:38:00.769 --> 00:38:03.429
the excitement quickly turned to disappointment

00:38:03.429 --> 00:38:07.010
after the Stevie Nicks doll sold out in a flash.

00:38:07.329 --> 00:38:12.710
Just minutes after the launch, fans, social media.

00:38:13.579 --> 00:38:18.099
to laminate the instant cell out. Yeah, it was

00:38:18.099 --> 00:38:20.679
like instant. They were gone. You know what?

00:38:20.699 --> 00:38:23.059
I believe it. I completely believe it. That is

00:38:23.059 --> 00:38:27.039
so novelty, you know? Actually, Princess said

00:38:27.039 --> 00:38:30.559
she looked at sheep trying to get one and she

00:38:30.559 --> 00:38:39.300
missed out on it. Oh, wow. So, yeah. I'm going

00:38:39.300 --> 00:38:41.960
to look that up. I bet you they're way too expensive

00:38:41.960 --> 00:38:43.360
now, but I'm going to look that up. I wouldn't

00:38:43.360 --> 00:38:47.219
mind having one for the podcast. I bet they were

00:38:47.219 --> 00:38:50.000
a limited edition. You probably can't get any.

00:38:51.159 --> 00:38:56.269
Yeah, probably not. I'm sorry. Okay, cool. Thank

00:38:56.269 --> 00:38:58.090
you, Rob. You want to take our first break? And

00:38:58.090 --> 00:39:01.090
I got a few emails. I managed to download them

00:39:01.090 --> 00:39:02.730
right before I called you. That's one of the

00:39:02.730 --> 00:39:04.349
reasons I was a little bit late calling you.

00:39:04.909 --> 00:39:07.409
Okay. That's fine. Okay. All right. We'll be

00:39:07.409 --> 00:39:19.289
right back. And now we look in on the adventures

00:39:19.289 --> 00:39:23.460
of the technical explanation guy. Oh, my. Would

00:39:23.460 --> 00:39:26.800
you look at the rightly scattering? It sure is

00:39:26.800 --> 00:39:30.460
brilliant tonight. First off, you're on private

00:39:30.460 --> 00:39:34.119
property. Second, you're in my flower garden.

00:39:34.460 --> 00:39:37.400
Third, if you're talking about the sunset, yes,

00:39:37.679 --> 00:39:41.019
it is stunning. And finally, would you get the

00:39:41.019 --> 00:39:43.940
hell off my property, you annoying fucking bastard?

00:39:45.659 --> 00:39:52.659
Jam X. What the hell happened? You were the generation.

00:39:53.190 --> 00:39:59.210
change. You never wanted to be one of them. Apathy

00:39:59.210 --> 00:40:04.789
spoke for you. Fuck the man. Fuck the system.

00:40:05.769 --> 00:40:09.929
What the hell happened? The generation of angst?

00:40:10.190 --> 00:40:14.590
The generation of non -compliance? Is now buying

00:40:14.590 --> 00:40:17.769
a boat? You're really fed up if you kill someone

00:40:17.769 --> 00:40:22.750
dangled a dollar near you? Great job, Xers. Everything's

00:40:22.750 --> 00:40:28.769
ruined. Yo mama's so old, she was a waitress

00:40:28.769 --> 00:40:31.289
at the last supper. Have you ever wondered what

00:40:31.289 --> 00:40:33.489
something came about? Have you ever looked at

00:40:33.489 --> 00:40:35.630
something and said, hmm, I wonder what the origin

00:40:35.630 --> 00:40:39.329
of that is? Well, so have we. That's why we give

00:40:39.329 --> 00:40:44.179
you The Origin Of. The origin of smoke detectors.

00:40:44.400 --> 00:40:46.480
Different versions of smoke and heat detectors

00:40:46.480 --> 00:40:49.860
have been around since the late 1800s. But a

00:40:49.860 --> 00:40:52.059
key step in the invention's evolution came from

00:40:52.059 --> 00:40:56.440
a Swiss physicist named Walter Jaeger. The story

00:40:56.440 --> 00:40:58.320
goes that Jaeger was trying to create a device

00:40:58.320 --> 00:41:01.079
that would detect poisonous gas. It didn't work.

00:41:01.239 --> 00:41:04.340
One day he lit up a cigarette in Viola. His failed

00:41:04.340 --> 00:41:07.099
poison detector became itself an effective smoke

00:41:07.099 --> 00:41:11.329
detector. So there you go. The following is an

00:41:11.329 --> 00:41:15.170
editorial. It's an opinion piece only. The regular

00:41:15.170 --> 00:41:18.210
Joe Cube public may believe anything he hears

00:41:18.210 --> 00:41:21.289
and sees, but not here at Two Douchebags Microphone.

00:41:21.369 --> 00:41:23.530
Here at Two Douchebags Microphone, we question

00:41:23.530 --> 00:41:25.929
everything. That's why we have a little segment

00:41:25.929 --> 00:41:28.949
we'd like to call, I Call Bullshit. Bullshit.

00:41:29.230 --> 00:41:33.730
Bullshit. Bullshit. And our way from San Cristobal.

00:41:34.230 --> 00:41:37.789
The indigenous town of San Andres, locals consider

00:41:37.789 --> 00:41:40.409
the fizzy beverage liquid gold. Shamans will

00:41:40.409 --> 00:41:42.289
use it as part of their religious ceremonies

00:41:42.289 --> 00:41:44.690
and regularly pray over bottles of Coca -Cola

00:41:44.690 --> 00:41:47.570
as they carry out rituals. Fridges stocked with

00:41:47.570 --> 00:41:50.130
bottles of Coke sit next to their sacred shrines,

00:41:50.210 --> 00:41:52.889
ready to sell to faithful locals and use them

00:41:52.889 --> 00:41:55.329
as offerings. As many believe, the drink has

00:41:55.329 --> 00:41:57.829
healing powers. But religion is not the only

00:41:57.829 --> 00:42:00.130
reason for the state's dependency on Coca -Cola,

00:42:00.210 --> 00:42:03.260
and behind the ritual lies a dark reality. With

00:42:03.260 --> 00:42:05.300
the growing population, safe drinking water has

00:42:05.300 --> 00:42:08.420
become increasingly scarce in the area. With

00:42:08.420 --> 00:42:10.599
some neighborhoods only having access to running

00:42:10.599 --> 00:42:13.519
water a few times a week, just 7 % of households

00:42:13.519 --> 00:42:16.139
in Chippewas believe their water is safe to drink.

00:42:16.360 --> 00:42:19.219
According to the 2023 National Survey, force

00:42:19.219 --> 00:42:22.500
a man to buy bottled water or fizzy drink, which

00:42:22.500 --> 00:42:25.639
is just as cheap. A local plant owned by FESMA,

00:42:25.739 --> 00:42:27.860
a food and drink conglomerate that owns the rights

00:42:27.860 --> 00:42:30.000
to bottle and sell Coca -Cola in Latin America,

00:42:30.239 --> 00:42:32.800
is allowed to extract more than 1 .3 million

00:42:32.800 --> 00:42:35.599
liters of water a day as part of a concession

00:42:35.599 --> 00:42:37.900
with the federal government, all while local

00:42:37.900 --> 00:42:40.760
communities struggle to find safe drinking water.

00:42:41.699 --> 00:42:44.059
I call bullshit on the Mexican government, the

00:42:44.059 --> 00:42:46.559
government of Chipas, and Coca -Cola. I think

00:42:46.559 --> 00:42:49.559
it's clear that the gleaned water has been confiscated

00:42:49.559 --> 00:42:53.500
and sold back as Coca -Cola. Forcing these people

00:42:53.500 --> 00:42:57.659
into lives of obesity and diabetes. Oh, this

00:42:57.659 --> 00:43:01.000
is my opinion? There you go. I call bullshit.

00:43:02.340 --> 00:43:06.780
Two douchebags and a microphone. The only podcast

00:43:06.780 --> 00:43:10.659
with gusto. That's right. Just like Schlitz beer.

00:43:12.099 --> 00:43:16.099
Google it. Sometimes Mark appears to be in deep

00:43:16.099 --> 00:43:18.900
thoughts. Usually he is contemplating whether

00:43:18.900 --> 00:43:21.340
to squeeze a toot out or save it up for a better

00:43:21.340 --> 00:43:26.440
place. But I digress. Sometimes, he does occasionally

00:43:26.440 --> 00:43:29.699
have a deep thought. Now we look in on his brilliance.

00:43:31.320 --> 00:43:35.139
What if I learned telepathy? And then I tried

00:43:35.139 --> 00:43:38.179
to talk to random people. How would I know if

00:43:38.179 --> 00:43:42.920
they're ignoring me? I guess some questions are

00:43:42.920 --> 00:43:46.840
greater than mankind. Hey there, fuckstick. You're

00:43:46.840 --> 00:43:49.059
just in time for brand new feature news nobody

00:43:49.059 --> 00:43:52.630
gives a shit about. Every Model T that was ever

00:43:52.630 --> 00:43:56.090
manufactured was in the color black. The term

00:43:56.090 --> 00:43:58.769
midget originated in the 19th century derived

00:43:58.769 --> 00:44:02.869
from midge, a small insect, plus suffix E -T.

00:44:03.309 --> 00:44:06.769
There you have midge -it. Initially, it referred

00:44:06.769 --> 00:44:09.630
to a small proportionate person, sometimes used

00:44:09.630 --> 00:44:11.889
in entertainment world. However, an association

00:44:11.889 --> 00:44:14.409
with freak shows and public displays of people

00:44:14.409 --> 00:44:17.409
with dwarfism led to term becoming widely considered

00:44:17.409 --> 00:44:20.219
derogatory and offensive. Today, organizations

00:44:20.219 --> 00:44:23.159
like Little People of America advocate the words

00:44:23.159 --> 00:44:25.760
removal from common usage with little person

00:44:25.760 --> 00:44:31.360
or person with dwarfism being preferred. Like

00:44:31.360 --> 00:44:34.920
we give a shit. Harambe used to listen to our

00:44:34.920 --> 00:44:37.440
original show, Two Dipshits and Cheek Radio Shack

00:44:37.440 --> 00:44:40.519
Realistic Tape Recorder. Harambe does not listen

00:44:40.519 --> 00:44:43.039
to our original show, Two Dipshits and Cheek

00:44:43.039 --> 00:44:45.440
Radio Shack Realistic Tape Recorder anymore.

00:44:46.349 --> 00:44:49.050
You might ask why Harambe never listens to our

00:44:49.050 --> 00:44:51.110
original show, Too Gypsious, in a cheap Radio

00:44:51.110 --> 00:44:54.550
Shack realistic tape recorder. Well, it's because

00:44:54.550 --> 00:44:57.190
Harambe is dead. Senselessly murdered because

00:44:57.190 --> 00:44:59.690
some idiot did not watch her child properly while

00:44:59.690 --> 00:45:02.510
looking on her phone. Sadly, Harambe does not

00:45:02.510 --> 00:45:04.590
listen to our original show, Too Gypsious, in

00:45:04.590 --> 00:45:06.469
the cheap Radio Shack realistic tape recorder,

00:45:06.650 --> 00:45:34.079
or any other show. Anymore. Sorry, Harambe. Two

00:45:34.079 --> 00:45:36.380
douchebags and a microphone. I'm here at the

00:45:36.380 --> 00:45:40.739
mobile Talk is Cheap studio at the Crescent Hotel,

00:45:41.000 --> 00:45:44.539
America's most haunted hotel. I'm throwing flour

00:45:44.539 --> 00:45:47.800
in there, hoping to capture a ghost. Do you think

00:45:47.800 --> 00:45:51.800
that'll work, Rob? Hey, keep your eye on the

00:45:51.800 --> 00:45:55.760
lights, man. Keep your eye on the... I am. Lights

00:45:55.760 --> 00:45:58.440
on the system, yeah. I mean, I look like a ghost.

00:45:58.460 --> 00:46:00.659
There's a slight breeze and all the powders,

00:46:00.659 --> 00:46:02.940
like, all the flowers, like, landing in my hair

00:46:02.940 --> 00:46:05.780
and face. So I could go around and scare some

00:46:05.780 --> 00:46:08.639
people, maybe. Well, hey, you know, we might

00:46:08.639 --> 00:46:11.739
pick something up. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. We should

00:46:11.739 --> 00:46:17.519
record. That's why I'm recording here. Because

00:46:17.519 --> 00:46:19.820
all the other eerie shit that's happened to me

00:46:19.820 --> 00:46:21.659
there, you know, like the last time the big book

00:46:21.659 --> 00:46:24.119
that appeared out of nowhere, and then the...

00:46:24.780 --> 00:46:27.659
The silhouette of the old lady picture that I

00:46:27.659 --> 00:46:29.920
have and everything creepy that's happened to

00:46:29.920 --> 00:46:33.400
me in that hotel. My parlay out on this recording.

00:46:34.360 --> 00:46:37.539
I certainly hope it does. So we'll see. But I

00:46:37.539 --> 00:46:40.280
got to remember, like the lady said that was

00:46:40.280 --> 00:46:43.380
a paranormal expert, she said. She said when

00:46:43.380 --> 00:46:45.179
you leave there, you tell them to stay there.

00:46:45.320 --> 00:46:47.840
They don't go home with you. The spirits stay

00:46:47.840 --> 00:46:50.579
there. So I'm going to do that. I'm going to

00:46:50.579 --> 00:46:53.039
say, hey, you guys stay the fuck here. All right.

00:46:53.119 --> 00:46:55.599
Don't need you. Sorry. Sorry, have fun here.

00:46:55.760 --> 00:46:57.719
You seem to be doing fine. You don't need to

00:46:57.719 --> 00:47:00.280
go back to Kansas City with me. So, all right.

00:47:00.820 --> 00:47:09.380
Oh. Rob? And I am Rob. God, that was a long introduction.

00:47:09.920 --> 00:47:14.400
Yes, it was. You got me tired, buddy. And I am

00:47:14.400 --> 00:47:22.800
Rob from the beautiful name of... All right,

00:47:22.860 --> 00:47:25.300
we got some emails. I was able to download them

00:47:25.300 --> 00:47:30.119
a little bit ago, so that's good. So I was able

00:47:30.119 --> 00:47:34.980
to tether my laptop because out here, the Crescent

00:47:34.980 --> 00:47:37.739
Wi -Fi doesn't work really well because I'm actually

00:47:37.739 --> 00:47:40.800
outside. I'm not inside. Yeah. And I'm doing

00:47:40.800 --> 00:47:43.739
that for a reason because inside... Yeah, because

00:47:43.739 --> 00:47:47.860
we all don't want to hear it. Yes, that's another

00:47:47.860 --> 00:47:50.719
thing too. But another thing is I bust out with

00:47:50.719 --> 00:47:53.920
a fuck and a shit and stuff like that. And I

00:47:53.920 --> 00:47:56.360
do it, I don't think about it. So I don't want

00:47:56.360 --> 00:47:58.260
to get kicked out of there. So I'm like, yeah,

00:47:58.280 --> 00:48:01.039
I better do this outside. And also I spoke with

00:48:01.039 --> 00:48:03.219
them first to make sure it was allowed. And they're

00:48:03.219 --> 00:48:04.659
like, yeah. And they go, you know, if you get

00:48:04.659 --> 00:48:06.400
a little profane, you might want to, you know.

00:48:07.119 --> 00:48:09.619
go outside and do it in the courtyard or something

00:48:09.619 --> 00:48:10.940
i'm like you know what that's where i wanted

00:48:10.940 --> 00:48:13.579
to do it anyhow so yeah that might be the best

00:48:13.579 --> 00:48:15.619
yeah but they said i could stay in there and

00:48:15.619 --> 00:48:18.920
do it if it was tame but the way we get i couldn't

00:48:18.920 --> 00:48:21.159
guarantee it so i was like all right i'll go

00:48:21.159 --> 00:48:24.559
out in the courtyard so this is good i mean a

00:48:24.559 --> 00:48:26.960
lot of people here there's a looks like three

00:48:26.960 --> 00:48:29.880
weddings going on there's a huge wedding over

00:48:29.880 --> 00:48:33.710
there at the main venue And it's really cool.

00:48:33.789 --> 00:48:35.769
They have all this cool shit. I'll have to show,

00:48:35.889 --> 00:48:37.590
I'll have to post some pictures or something,

00:48:37.750 --> 00:48:40.369
but they have one hell of a wedding venue here

00:48:40.369 --> 00:48:43.090
at the Crescent. It was fantastic the way they

00:48:43.090 --> 00:48:47.550
have it set up. Oh, dang. God, we've got our

00:48:47.550 --> 00:48:51.550
wedding planned already. Oh, yeah, you do. She

00:48:51.550 --> 00:48:55.429
would drop our wedding plans to move it down

00:48:55.429 --> 00:48:58.630
there. She is that type of person. Man, I'll

00:48:58.630 --> 00:49:01.519
tell you what. Well, it's November, isn't it?

00:49:01.639 --> 00:49:05.840
The weather might be a factor. November 28th.

00:49:05.980 --> 00:49:12.460
Okay. You know, I don't know, though. You'd hate

00:49:12.460 --> 00:49:14.159
to plan all this and all of a sudden it's like

00:49:14.159 --> 00:49:18.179
ice. No, no. We've got too many family members

00:49:18.179 --> 00:49:21.280
involved now. Oh, yeah. You know what? And they're

00:49:21.280 --> 00:49:23.179
going to be like, what am I going to do? We started

00:49:23.179 --> 00:49:27.159
out with six people at the whole wedding. Me,

00:49:27.159 --> 00:49:34.010
her, the patron, the best man, and the duke and

00:49:34.010 --> 00:49:37.869
the duchess. The duke's the one that's going

00:49:37.869 --> 00:49:43.730
to marry us. The duke? Yeah. And now we're up

00:49:43.730 --> 00:49:48.570
to over 40. Wow. Maybe 50. That's the way it

00:49:48.570 --> 00:49:52.550
goes, though. Most of them are on me. That's

00:49:52.550 --> 00:49:56.829
the way it goes, though. It's like, we're going

00:49:56.829 --> 00:49:59.250
to keep it small and simple. Then by the time

00:49:59.250 --> 00:50:01.550
you get it done, and people start raising their

00:50:01.550 --> 00:50:03.369
eyebrows, like, how come I didn't get an invite?

00:50:03.610 --> 00:50:07.469
And then the next thing you know, it's, you know,

00:50:07.489 --> 00:50:10.349
half the people you know are mad because they

00:50:10.349 --> 00:50:12.610
think that you didn't think enough of them to

00:50:12.610 --> 00:50:14.809
invite them, when actually, like, a lot of times,

00:50:14.929 --> 00:50:18.230
it's like, we didn't have room, you know? Hell,

00:50:18.909 --> 00:50:22.010
we've got people inviting themselves. No, I know.

00:50:22.090 --> 00:50:25.570
That happens. That happens to everybody. Like,

00:50:25.630 --> 00:50:27.369
okay, when do I be there? And you're, like, sitting

00:50:27.369 --> 00:50:32.460
there thinking. Why not? Oh, shit. Then at that

00:50:32.460 --> 00:50:33.739
point, you're going to go, oh, yeah, yeah, you

00:50:33.739 --> 00:50:35.900
didn't get the invite? Fucking mail service.

00:50:37.880 --> 00:50:40.900
Anyhow, all right. But then after we decided

00:50:40.900 --> 00:50:43.400
to get married, we find out about two other weddings.

00:50:44.360 --> 00:50:49.159
Yeah. Four hours. One was our son's, which was

00:50:49.159 --> 00:50:53.079
the last Saturday. And this Saturday is my stepbrother's

00:50:53.079 --> 00:50:57.449
up in Independence. Oh, cool. And that's at the

00:50:57.449 --> 00:51:02.550
Bass Pro area over there? Yeah, yeah. I forget

00:51:02.550 --> 00:51:05.010
the name of the hotel. It's right there by Bass

00:51:05.010 --> 00:51:08.769
Pro. Is it near the waterfall and all that? I

00:51:08.769 --> 00:51:11.329
don't know. I don't have a clue. I haven't looked

00:51:11.329 --> 00:51:14.070
into it. I've just called, made the reservations.

00:51:14.130 --> 00:51:17.050
You ordered a block of rooms. Oh, it could be

00:51:17.050 --> 00:51:19.329
at the Hilton. We weren't going to drive by.

00:51:19.510 --> 00:51:22.210
We did that last weekend. There's a Hilton Garden

00:51:22.210 --> 00:51:25.619
Inn across the freeway. That might be there.

00:51:27.019 --> 00:51:46.539
Okay. Okay. Okay. Man, the goat does not sound

00:51:46.539 --> 00:51:54.559
good tonight, does he? Oh, well. That's okay.

00:51:54.739 --> 00:51:58.500
Oh, Stoney Creek Hotel. Oh, okay. I'll have to

00:51:58.500 --> 00:52:03.219
look that up. That sounds good. Oh, yeah. I have

00:52:03.219 --> 00:52:06.679
a feeling it's the one that's joined to the grounds.

00:52:07.460 --> 00:52:10.039
Because I don't know if they did it yet, but

00:52:10.039 --> 00:52:16.360
that waterfall and that lake. It's 18011 Bass

00:52:16.360 --> 00:52:19.739
Road Drive. Yep, that's it. Okay. That hotel

00:52:19.739 --> 00:52:21.820
there, I believe, okay, I don't know if they

00:52:21.820 --> 00:52:24.059
did it yet or not because we've done the gondola

00:52:24.059 --> 00:52:28.340
rides on Brush Creek a few years back. But they

00:52:28.340 --> 00:52:32.000
also, the guy that's doing them, that owns them,

00:52:32.079 --> 00:52:34.059
he said that they were starting them over there

00:52:34.059 --> 00:52:38.780
in that lake at the Bass Pro. So hopefully they

00:52:38.780 --> 00:52:40.539
have gondola rides there because the gondola

00:52:40.539 --> 00:52:44.280
rides are really cool. So, and if you're there,

00:52:44.360 --> 00:52:47.780
why not get one? So, all right. Mention your

00:52:47.780 --> 00:52:52.039
name. Huh? I'll mention your name. All right,

00:52:52.059 --> 00:52:53.860
tell them. Tell them I said it. They'll remember

00:52:53.860 --> 00:52:57.420
me from six years ago, I'm sure. Yeah, Mark.

00:52:57.679 --> 00:53:00.159
Yeah, yeah, yeah. We went in 2019. I'll describe

00:53:00.159 --> 00:53:02.400
you. Yeah, yeah, just go through. I'll describe

00:53:02.400 --> 00:53:05.199
you in person. You'll understand better. Yeah,

00:53:05.219 --> 00:53:09.360
yeah. Oh, that guy? Oh, he's... Yeah, yeah, yeah,

00:53:09.360 --> 00:53:12.920
yeah. He was an idiot. So... Guess what? That

00:53:12.920 --> 00:53:15.519
idiot started a podcast and now I'll be his co

00:53:15.519 --> 00:53:18.980
-host. Oh, love the guy. I'm sorry. I was thinking

00:53:18.980 --> 00:53:25.019
of somebody else. All right. Let's see. Rob.

00:53:26.099 --> 00:53:29.820
Rob sounds clear. And now I see why Mark stuck

00:53:29.820 --> 00:53:35.980
with you. I always wanted to stick with you.

00:53:36.000 --> 00:53:38.019
I don't know what you meant there. Okay. Okay.

00:53:38.099 --> 00:53:41.699
No. No, I think I get it. I get it. I get it.

00:53:41.900 --> 00:53:46.900
I get it. Okay. I get it. I had a rough start.

00:53:48.340 --> 00:53:51.960
Oh, oh, oh. But then my life changed. Oh, that's

00:53:51.960 --> 00:53:54.039
what, you know what, you're right, that's what

00:53:54.039 --> 00:53:56.079
she's talking about. Got me now, got me now.

00:53:56.440 --> 00:54:00.179
Okay. No, no, it was just like this. Thank you.

00:54:00.820 --> 00:54:04.539
My life has totally changed. And this podcast

00:54:04.539 --> 00:54:10.840
has been a tremendous help for that. So. Very

00:54:10.840 --> 00:54:13.139
cool. I'm glad it helps because it's definitely

00:54:13.139 --> 00:54:15.340
therapy for me. I love it. It's very therapeutic.

00:54:15.920 --> 00:54:20.320
Sarah in New Jersey, thank you. The one thing

00:54:20.320 --> 00:54:23.500
is, though, I was never, like, wanting to dump

00:54:23.500 --> 00:54:27.500
Rob ever. We just needed to get on the same page

00:54:27.500 --> 00:54:29.320
with some stuff and all that. He is always the

00:54:29.320 --> 00:54:33.199
guy. I mean, I was choppy at first. I got you.

00:54:33.480 --> 00:54:36.500
To be honest, I had to pull my head out of my

00:54:36.500 --> 00:54:40.849
ass. And he did very well. I'm glad. I was coming

00:54:40.849 --> 00:54:46.349
out of a rough patch in my life, and I dropped

00:54:46.349 --> 00:54:49.489
there for a little bit, but I lost back, and

00:54:49.489 --> 00:54:52.449
now I'm stronger than ever. That's good. Good,

00:54:52.489 --> 00:54:54.250
good, good. Stronger than I've ever been, honestly.

00:54:54.389 --> 00:54:59.579
Yeah, let's thank God. That's really good. Okay,

00:54:59.679 --> 00:55:02.440
so, Sarah, thank you for noticing that. That's

00:55:02.440 --> 00:55:03.980
really kind of you to say that. Thank you, Sarah.

00:55:04.320 --> 00:55:06.380
It was really kind of her to notice that and

00:55:06.380 --> 00:55:09.099
to say something. She's listened to some of the

00:55:09.099 --> 00:55:12.300
older ones there. Exactly. That's impressive.

00:55:13.039 --> 00:55:15.260
I'm certain we have a lot of repeat listeners

00:55:15.260 --> 00:55:18.739
by the areas that we hit hard in. Yeah, yeah.

00:55:18.920 --> 00:55:22.760
All right, the next one. Mark, please play the

00:55:22.760 --> 00:55:27.039
chocolate pudding bit. Been a long time. Jenkins

00:55:27.039 --> 00:55:32.760
and Jackson. The chocolate pudding bin. Um, refresh

00:55:32.760 --> 00:55:41.260
me. Shit. I forget how it went. Um. Okay, okay.

00:55:41.480 --> 00:55:45.639
I think I know what it was. Yeah, I know. It's

00:55:45.639 --> 00:55:50.780
one of those. Yes, I knew. That's why I think

00:55:50.780 --> 00:55:52.539
we have a lot of repeat listeners. Okay, I know

00:55:52.539 --> 00:55:55.079
what it was, I think. Okay, did you ever have

00:55:55.079 --> 00:55:57.059
a dream you're eating chocolate pudding and wake

00:55:57.059 --> 00:55:59.559
up with a spoon in your ass? That was Chad. That's

00:55:59.559 --> 00:56:02.980
it. That's it. Yeah, that was Chad. Chad did

00:56:02.980 --> 00:56:05.760
that, yes. Who I need to get a hold of. Yes.

00:56:06.139 --> 00:56:08.440
Because I need him to do some more. We need him

00:56:08.440 --> 00:56:10.820
to do some more stuff. And I discussed some of

00:56:10.820 --> 00:56:12.500
it with you, but I got some other ideas too.

00:56:13.549 --> 00:56:15.809
Okay. Because I would like to do, and I know

00:56:15.809 --> 00:56:18.190
this has been done by other shows and stuff like

00:56:18.190 --> 00:56:20.130
that, but I want to do a story time with Rob,

00:56:20.210 --> 00:56:25.250
and I want him to be the voice guy. You like

00:56:25.250 --> 00:56:28.849
story time with Rob? Yeah. Okay. All right, we'll

00:56:28.849 --> 00:56:30.230
talk about it a little bit more. I don't think

00:56:30.230 --> 00:56:31.989
I ever brought that up to you before, but this

00:56:31.989 --> 00:56:36.110
is this new envision that I have, but it's story

00:56:36.110 --> 00:56:39.489
time, but it's with a twist. Okay, it's not just

00:56:39.489 --> 00:56:42.679
like that. I got you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's

00:56:42.679 --> 00:56:44.420
a twist to it. And, of course, it's going to

00:56:44.420 --> 00:56:50.360
be raunchy, probably. So, anyhow, they should

00:56:50.360 --> 00:56:52.900
know this stuff. It's going to be douchebags.

00:56:53.380 --> 00:56:55.900
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's our name. Two douchebags

00:56:55.900 --> 00:56:58.380
and microphones. So, there you go. And even if

00:56:58.380 --> 00:57:00.420
you listen to one of the auxiliary shows like

00:57:00.420 --> 00:57:02.539
the Sports Bastards, well, we're still called

00:57:02.539 --> 00:57:05.900
bastards. Music creeps, we're still called creeps,

00:57:05.900 --> 00:57:08.039
so we don't take ourselves seriously, so you

00:57:08.039 --> 00:57:11.159
shouldn't either. And besides that, you know,

00:57:11.179 --> 00:57:13.380
we do the disclaimer at the first, you know,

00:57:13.460 --> 00:57:17.039
the, you know, don't believe anything that we

00:57:17.039 --> 00:57:19.760
say. We can and will lie and make shit up. Oh,

00:57:19.920 --> 00:57:23.380
it's another ghost. It's a lady doing it. Here

00:57:23.380 --> 00:57:26.280
comes a ghost tour, dude. Hang on, hang on, hang

00:57:26.280 --> 00:57:38.010
on. Okay. Okay. Okay. I'm Freddy the Ghost. Boo!

00:57:38.750 --> 00:57:41.070
Oh, wait, it's not a tourist. Some lady talking

00:57:41.070 --> 00:57:47.750
to other people. Oh, man. Allegedly, the gummies

00:57:47.750 --> 00:57:52.050
might have took hold. I don't know. They are

00:57:52.050 --> 00:58:00.030
really looking at me weird. And now they're looking

00:58:00.030 --> 00:58:02.030
straight in front of them and not looking back.

00:58:02.110 --> 00:58:06.010
They're going walking on. Dirty going. Assholes.

00:58:06.250 --> 00:58:09.309
I'm Freddy the Ghost. Boo! I'm Freddy the Ghost.

00:58:09.650 --> 00:58:16.090
Boo! Oh, one person turned around. Boo! I'm him.

00:58:16.130 --> 00:58:20.010
I'm Freddy. I'm Freddy the Ghost. Boo! Okay.

00:58:20.030 --> 00:58:23.969
All right. That's it. All right. Where the hell

00:58:23.969 --> 00:58:33.429
was I? Okay. Mark. Why? God, I wish I had video

00:58:33.429 --> 00:58:40.880
of that. Do so. Do so. I wish I had video, because

00:58:40.880 --> 00:58:42.519
I'm sitting there trying to piss the tour guide

00:58:42.519 --> 00:58:44.940
off, and it's just some chick. It looked like

00:58:44.940 --> 00:58:48.340
she was directing him. And I'm like, hey, yeah,

00:58:48.599 --> 00:59:02.480
yeah. Okay. Okay, all right. Mark. Yes. Mark,

00:59:02.500 --> 00:59:05.159
why do you despise Walmart so much? They are

00:59:05.159 --> 00:59:07.300
the cheapest. I couldn't imagine paying regular

00:59:07.300 --> 00:59:10.980
grocery store prices. Roland and Fort Lauderdale.

00:59:12.019 --> 00:59:16.820
Well, I... Okay. I'm not saying Walmart's horrible.

00:59:17.000 --> 00:59:20.159
What I'm saying is I wish they would change some

00:59:20.159 --> 00:59:22.460
of their practices. Some of their practices,

00:59:22.679 --> 00:59:26.199
to me, in my opinion, are real shitty, and I

00:59:26.199 --> 00:59:29.579
don't like them. And that's it. If they would

00:59:29.579 --> 00:59:31.940
straighten some certain things up, I would gladly

00:59:31.940 --> 00:59:34.420
go in there and not be pissed off that I have

00:59:34.420 --> 00:59:37.719
to use them. You know, because, but, you know,

00:59:37.760 --> 00:59:42.239
you know, I like Costco a lot too. You know,

00:59:42.260 --> 00:59:44.960
Costco is actually my favorite store. They treat

00:59:44.960 --> 00:59:47.519
you much better and they have better prices.

00:59:47.659 --> 00:59:51.360
And I don't have to completely, you know, hate

00:59:51.360 --> 00:59:53.500
Walmart every time I go there and something stupid

00:59:53.500 --> 00:59:55.739
happens to me. Because that's the thing is, I

00:59:55.739 --> 00:59:57.880
go there in a good mood and I leave pissed off.

00:59:58.429 --> 01:00:01.050
Because somebody did something stupid. And doesn't

01:00:01.050 --> 01:00:06.829
Costco have a dress code? You know, I don't know.

01:00:07.329 --> 01:00:09.610
But I don't see the same shit in there that I

01:00:09.610 --> 01:00:11.730
do in Walmart. That's what I'm saying, that's

01:00:11.730 --> 01:00:13.429
what I'm saying, yeah. Okay, that's probably

01:00:13.429 --> 01:00:15.630
true. I figured they had a dress code. Yeah,

01:00:15.670 --> 01:00:17.469
they probably do. They're a much cleaner store

01:00:17.469 --> 01:00:20.809
and all that, so. Yeah, yeah. You know, I mean,

01:00:20.849 --> 01:00:26.829
I just find Walmart very annoying, so. So, anyhow.

01:00:27.170 --> 01:00:30.869
Alright, and then got another one here. I hate

01:00:30.869 --> 01:00:33.909
the mystery sports guy. Stop posting that horrible

01:00:33.909 --> 01:00:37.789
show. John and Jackson Hole. John, are you in

01:00:37.789 --> 01:00:41.110
Jackson's Hole? Or are you in Jackson Hole? Because

01:00:41.110 --> 01:00:46.650
he wrote Jackson's Hole. I think he means Jackson

01:00:46.650 --> 01:00:51.329
Hole, Wyoming. But he put it like plural, like

01:00:51.329 --> 01:00:55.309
Jackson's Hole. So, I'm thinking he means...

01:00:55.980 --> 01:00:59.400
Jackson Hole, Wyoming. So I'm glad that you hate

01:00:59.400 --> 01:01:00.980
the sports guy because that means I'll do it

01:01:00.980 --> 01:01:03.579
more. And while you're at it, why don't you brush

01:01:03.579 --> 01:01:06.340
up on your grammar because it doesn't look right

01:01:06.340 --> 01:01:13.159
writing I'm in Jackson's hole when you should

01:01:13.159 --> 01:01:17.599
have wrote I'm in Jackson hole. Right? Simple

01:01:17.599 --> 01:01:20.840
little things like that. So I'm glad you hate

01:01:20.840 --> 01:01:23.489
the sports guy. Work on your grammar. And what's

01:01:23.489 --> 01:01:26.789
his name again? And if you listen to that, you

01:01:26.789 --> 01:01:29.389
would know if you say something like that, you're

01:01:29.389 --> 01:01:32.090
just egging Mark on. He's going to do it more

01:01:32.090 --> 01:01:38.349
every time. Yes. So John and Jackson Hole. Which

01:01:38.349 --> 01:01:41.010
means I have to listen to it more. Thank you.

01:01:41.150 --> 01:01:43.789
Yeah, yeah. So I'm just going to leave it like

01:01:43.789 --> 01:01:46.949
this. Who cares? I don't care that you hate it.

01:01:47.610 --> 01:01:50.230
Who are you? I don't know you. You don't know

01:01:50.230 --> 01:01:53.230
me. It's pretty easy just to ignore it and not

01:01:53.230 --> 01:01:56.469
listen to it. But if it pisses you off, I'm all

01:01:56.469 --> 01:02:01.730
for it. Just stay in Jacksonville. Yes, yes.

01:02:01.769 --> 01:02:04.590
Stay in Jackson's hole. So have a good time.

01:02:04.949 --> 01:02:09.849
Whatever. Learn your grammar, okay? So, all right.

01:02:10.269 --> 01:02:13.030
I have a featured email, but I'm not going to

01:02:13.030 --> 01:02:15.170
go into it because this is going to take a while.

01:02:15.530 --> 01:02:17.530
Somebody asked me, you know, because I know that

01:02:17.530 --> 01:02:21.349
I used to travel a lot, and I still do, but not

01:02:21.349 --> 01:02:25.219
as much as I did. It says it wants the best airport.

01:02:25.699 --> 01:02:28.760
And this person also wants the best and worst

01:02:28.760 --> 01:02:32.300
hotel and the worst airport. And a couple other

01:02:32.300 --> 01:02:35.019
things. They gave me like, they wanted like a

01:02:35.019 --> 01:02:38.500
little survey from me. And I'll do it next time

01:02:38.500 --> 01:02:40.219
around. But I'm not going to do it here because

01:02:40.219 --> 01:02:44.079
it's too encompassing. And this is our place.

01:02:44.079 --> 01:02:47.039
We're at a haunted hotel. And so I'm going to

01:02:47.039 --> 01:02:49.400
keep it like that. So if I start going into airports

01:02:49.400 --> 01:02:52.840
and all that stuff, nah. And you need time to

01:02:52.840 --> 01:02:56.019
think about it. Yeah, actually I do. You've been

01:02:56.019 --> 01:03:00.099
to so many. Yeah, actually I do. Because right

01:03:00.099 --> 01:03:04.739
now, right offhand, a lot of stuff's a tie. Like

01:03:04.739 --> 01:03:07.239
the worst airport. I can definitely tell you

01:03:07.239 --> 01:03:09.099
Philadelphia International's one of them because

01:03:09.099 --> 01:03:11.659
the people there are so fucking rude and pushy.

01:03:12.239 --> 01:03:15.179
And one of the better ones was actually Boston's

01:03:15.179 --> 01:03:17.559
Logan Airport. Oh, I wasn't going to get into

01:03:17.559 --> 01:03:20.719
it. Okay, Rob, go ahead. That was all the emails.

01:03:23.679 --> 01:03:31.480
All right. Well, it's time. For Rob's Bag of

01:03:31.480 --> 01:03:34.699
Garbage. This is the best segment ever on any

01:03:34.699 --> 01:03:38.800
show ever. Anywhere. Ever. It's been voted number

01:03:38.800 --> 01:03:47.630
one by everybody in the world. You guys are lucky

01:03:47.630 --> 01:03:50.070
to get this on this show. Normally people have

01:03:50.070 --> 01:04:01.050
to pay for it. Others are just bags of garbage,

01:04:01.190 --> 01:04:14.019
right? All right. Okay, Rob. Go right on ahead

01:04:14.019 --> 01:04:18.739
there. Okay. Okay. The first one tonight. On

01:04:18.739 --> 01:04:25.420
February 4th, 1982, 27 -year -old David Grunman

01:04:25.420 --> 01:04:28.119
from Phoenix loaded his truck with beer and a

01:04:28.119 --> 01:04:31.699
shotgun heading into the Arizona desert with

01:04:31.699 --> 01:04:34.820
his roommate, Joseph. Yeah, I'm going to leave

01:04:34.820 --> 01:04:39.539
right there. The two men had already destroyed...

01:04:39.679 --> 01:04:44.000
one giant Siguri cactus with Gremlin, who was

01:04:44.000 --> 01:04:50.880
feeling emboldened by alcohol, spotted a taller

01:04:50.880 --> 01:04:55.059
specimen, a 27 -foot giant that towered above

01:04:55.059 --> 01:05:00.059
the landscape. Gremlin stood directly beneath

01:05:00.059 --> 01:05:04.139
one of its massive arms and fired two shotgun

01:05:04.139 --> 01:05:08.599
rounds upward, attempting to bring down the protecting

01:05:08.860 --> 01:05:13.420
cactus the shots loosened a five -foot arm which

01:05:13.420 --> 01:05:16.460
came crashing down on him with tremendous force

01:05:16.460 --> 01:05:22.679
joseph fled to get help and by the time merchant

01:05:22.679 --> 01:05:27.119
responders arrived at the remote location ronlin

01:05:27.119 --> 01:05:41.280
was dead oh okay Uh, yeah. It's like one of those

01:05:41.280 --> 01:05:43.519
things, like, why do people climb Mount Everest

01:05:43.519 --> 01:05:46.559
when it's littered with bodies of people that

01:05:46.559 --> 01:05:50.900
didn't make it? Yeah. Yeah, I don't know why

01:05:50.900 --> 01:05:52.840
people go in a desert like that, too, because

01:05:52.840 --> 01:05:55.400
there's a chance you're going to die. Right?

01:05:56.719 --> 01:05:59.820
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, so... Especially with shotgun

01:05:59.820 --> 01:06:03.019
alcohol, you can catch this. Yeah, I've never

01:06:03.019 --> 01:06:05.059
understood how, you know, if someone wanted to

01:06:05.059 --> 01:06:08.039
get away with murder, you could probably... Like,

01:06:08.039 --> 01:06:10.320
suffocate someone and take them up Mount Everest?

01:06:10.599 --> 01:06:13.079
Well, then, you know what? Hang on. You'd probably

01:06:13.079 --> 01:06:14.619
die, too, because you probably couldn't make

01:06:14.619 --> 01:06:16.219
it up there, and then you'd be next to the corpse

01:06:16.219 --> 01:06:19.400
you just killed dead. So, forget it. Especially

01:06:19.400 --> 01:06:21.619
when you smoke two packs of cigarettes like I

01:06:21.619 --> 01:06:25.599
did today. Oh, okay. Yeah, I wouldn't make it.

01:06:25.860 --> 01:06:28.440
Oh, I wouldn't make it because my knee, my shoulder,

01:06:28.539 --> 01:06:32.059
well, about everything on me. Yeah, yeah. So,

01:06:32.179 --> 01:06:37.639
yeah, I get you. Anyhow, go ahead, Rob. Okay,

01:06:37.639 --> 01:06:44.739
reaching in again. I love your back there. Gosh,

01:06:44.739 --> 01:06:49.280
man, that's a pretty loud sack. That's pretty

01:06:49.280 --> 01:06:55.679
thick. Well, I guess so. Okay, all right. All

01:06:55.679 --> 01:07:08.139
right, after 77 years of bearing. your own wife.

01:07:10.480 --> 01:07:14.280
Was he competent? 99 years old, I don't know

01:07:14.280 --> 01:07:19.599
if they grant you one, will they? I mean... Yeah.

01:07:22.579 --> 01:07:27.599
Wow. All because of letters he discovered revealing

01:07:27.599 --> 01:07:32.679
she had a affair over 60 years ago. Oh. Okay,

01:07:32.780 --> 01:07:35.960
well... all right then all right he should get

01:07:35.960 --> 01:07:39.539
his divorce i guess i don't know you know rob

01:07:39.539 --> 01:07:42.579
i got a question real quick um sorry to interrupt

01:07:42.579 --> 01:07:45.960
but do you think that you would like be like

01:07:45.960 --> 01:07:48.880
furious about that 60 years later here you are

01:07:48.880 --> 01:07:52.659
99 and she's 96 would you just be like well you

01:07:52.659 --> 01:07:56.780
know what it all worked out whatever or you think

01:07:56.780 --> 01:08:00.739
after 77 years yeah as long as it's a one -time

01:08:00.739 --> 01:08:03.750
thing Yeah, yeah, I'd be like, look, honest,

01:08:03.989 --> 01:08:07.929
okay? Yeah, I was probably being an asshole during

01:08:07.929 --> 01:08:10.309
that period. I'm sorry, man. Yeah, I think I'd

01:08:10.309 --> 01:08:11.670
be like that, too. It's like, you know what,

01:08:11.710 --> 01:08:13.650
let's just ride the rest of this life out, you

01:08:13.650 --> 01:08:16.069
know? I may divorce you in eternity. Yeah, we're

01:08:16.069 --> 01:08:20.390
on there anyway. Yeah, yeah, yes. You know, it's

01:08:20.390 --> 01:08:25.970
kind of like, oh, shoot, the Larry David, what

01:08:25.970 --> 01:08:30.680
the hell's the name of the show? Damn it, it's

01:08:30.680 --> 01:08:35.779
the post -Seinfeld, Larry David playing Costanza

01:08:35.779 --> 01:08:39.060
later on in life. And let's see, Larry David,

01:08:39.180 --> 01:08:41.680
his wife said like, yeah, yeah, we're going to

01:08:41.680 --> 01:08:43.699
be going into eternity together. And he's like,

01:08:43.779 --> 01:08:46.220
wait a minute. He goes, I didn't say anything

01:08:46.220 --> 01:08:48.239
about eternity when we got married, only this

01:08:48.239 --> 01:08:50.359
life. He said, eternity, I kind of want my options

01:08:50.359 --> 01:08:53.699
open. You know, so that guy could do something

01:08:53.699 --> 01:08:55.659
like that. He'd go, you know what, hey, let's

01:08:55.659 --> 01:08:58.560
ride this life out. together, and then in the,

01:08:58.680 --> 01:09:00.979
you know, in the afterlife, I might go, you know,

01:09:01.000 --> 01:09:03.520
I might divorce you and go somewhere else. Right?

01:09:03.659 --> 01:09:06.659
Sound good? Yeah. Yeah, there we go. Yeah, but

01:09:06.659 --> 01:09:09.079
write this one out. Well, there's more sadness

01:09:09.079 --> 01:09:14.859
to this. Oh, uh -oh. Uh -oh. Yeah. The letters

01:09:14.859 --> 01:09:19.100
were found just before Christmas, leading to

01:09:19.100 --> 01:09:21.960
a heartbreaking confrontation and ultimately

01:09:21.960 --> 01:09:27.189
the decision to separate. Aw. I've had five children

01:09:27.189 --> 01:09:30.270
and many grandchildren are now considered one

01:09:30.270 --> 01:09:33.449
of the oldest known divorce cases ever recorded.

01:09:35.109 --> 01:09:40.050
How sad. Yeah, right before, yeah, he found the

01:09:40.050 --> 01:09:42.329
letter right before Christmas. Well, too bad

01:09:42.329 --> 01:09:46.390
she is a filthy whore, huh? Yeah, really. Yeah.

01:09:46.510 --> 01:09:50.229
She looks sweet, though. Well, now she is. She's

01:09:50.229 --> 01:09:52.170
an old lady, but at one time she is obviously

01:09:52.170 --> 01:09:56.189
a filthy whore, right? Actually, yeah, you can

01:09:56.189 --> 01:09:58.890
kind of see that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is a

01:09:58.890 --> 01:10:05.310
joke. This is all Harry. So don't get your panties

01:10:05.310 --> 01:10:09.109
in a wad or whatever. All right, Rob, go ahead.

01:10:09.149 --> 01:10:18.390
I'm sorry. Okay. Do I feel like it? Why not?

01:10:18.630 --> 01:10:35.539
One more time. Roll into it. Roll into it. Francisco

01:10:35.539 --> 01:10:40.060
when she was arrested for crime newspapers at

01:10:40.060 --> 01:10:44.479
the time called Unspeakable. Armed with a straight

01:10:44.479 --> 01:10:48.239
razor, she attacked her husband in his sleep

01:10:48.239 --> 01:10:51.979
and sliced off his penis, nearly killing him.

01:10:53.319 --> 01:10:56.680
Boy, I'm getting some good ones tonight. Oh my

01:10:56.680 --> 01:10:59.060
gosh, your sack of garbage is fucking great,

01:10:59.220 --> 01:11:03.319
dude. And so far, you've been spot on. Okay,

01:11:03.399 --> 01:11:07.760
uh, She was convicted not of attempted murder,

01:11:08.060 --> 01:11:13.119
but of mayhem. A legal term used in time for

01:11:13.119 --> 01:11:18.279
verbally disfiguring someone. Since the five

01:11:18.279 --> 01:11:22.079
years Miranda was sent to San Quentin Prison,

01:11:22.399 --> 01:11:26.319
which was still housing female inmates then,

01:11:26.460 --> 01:11:30.359
despite the brutality of her crime, prison records

01:11:30.359 --> 01:11:36.279
describe her time behind bars. After serving

01:11:36.279 --> 01:11:39.659
her sentence, she faded from public view, but

01:11:39.659 --> 01:11:42.439
her case remains infamous as one of the most

01:11:42.439 --> 01:11:47.619
sensational and gruesome convictions in early

01:11:47.619 --> 01:11:56.600
20th century California. Wow. Wow. Did she give

01:11:56.600 --> 01:12:00.819
a reason for cutting his penis off? No, this

01:12:00.819 --> 01:12:06.069
did not say. Okay. It might be something. I'm

01:12:06.069 --> 01:12:08.289
going to have to look into that. Yeah, I mean,

01:12:08.310 --> 01:12:10.689
to me, to do something like that, you had to

01:12:10.689 --> 01:12:13.470
have done something really... This is the original

01:12:13.470 --> 01:12:17.090
Rowena Bobbin. Yes, it is. Thank you. Yeah, that's

01:12:17.090 --> 01:12:23.149
right. This was in 1908. Wow. Wow. And then back

01:12:23.149 --> 01:12:25.250
then, they could not reattach them, you know.

01:12:25.289 --> 01:12:28.369
They just had to go around without a penis. Oh,

01:12:28.609 --> 01:12:31.720
no. You know, all his friends probably went and

01:12:31.720 --> 01:12:35.159
everything. John Bobbitt's good to be attached.

01:12:36.539 --> 01:12:40.359
Yeah. Well, I mean... But he spent the rest of

01:12:40.359 --> 01:12:42.819
his days going to brothels and stuff. Oh, yeah,

01:12:42.880 --> 01:12:45.060
yeah. Franken -penis. Yeah, he used to, like...

01:12:45.060 --> 01:12:46.899
I think he did porn after that because he had

01:12:46.899 --> 01:12:51.340
a Franken -penis. Anyhow. Wow. All I really did

01:12:51.340 --> 01:12:55.319
was do him a favor. Yeah, yeah. Imagine his friends

01:12:55.319 --> 01:12:58.000
get mad at him and call him dickless. You old

01:12:58.000 --> 01:13:01.520
dickless over here. That's not funny. But the

01:13:01.520 --> 01:13:03.460
thing I have a problem with is, why did they

01:13:03.460 --> 01:13:06.359
charge her with mayhem? That's the Allstate guy.

01:13:07.739 --> 01:13:11.739
I know. Well, this was in 1908. Oh, okay. There

01:13:11.739 --> 01:13:13.859
wasn't an Allstate guy back then. All right.

01:13:13.960 --> 01:13:16.420
They stole it from her. No, there wasn't even

01:13:16.420 --> 01:13:18.760
TV. They didn't have commercials. They didn't

01:13:18.760 --> 01:13:20.800
know about... They were in a covered wagon when

01:13:20.800 --> 01:13:27.430
she cut off his penis. Wow. So, all right. Let's

01:13:27.430 --> 01:13:29.989
take our second break and come right back with

01:13:29.989 --> 01:13:32.909
some more stuff. That sound all right? Sounds

01:13:32.909 --> 01:14:00.949
good. That's what's going to happen. My mechanic

01:14:00.949 --> 01:14:05.470
told me I couldn't repair your brakes. So I made

01:14:05.470 --> 01:14:12.750
you a horn ladder. Good job. Rob ran. A man is

01:14:12.750 --> 01:14:16.930
swimming there. Rob consumed small doses of radiation

01:14:16.930 --> 01:14:22.090
for 30 years. Rob is immune to radiation. Watch

01:14:22.090 --> 01:14:26.840
him glow. Watch Rob Ray jump up 25 feet and grab

01:14:26.840 --> 01:14:30.380
birds out of thin air with his mouth. With his

01:14:30.380 --> 01:14:34.500
mouth! Rob can now be a mentor for children's

01:14:34.500 --> 01:14:38.220
parties and bar mitzvahs. That's right. Come

01:14:38.220 --> 01:14:41.239
on and rent you a Rob today. That's right. Come

01:14:41.239 --> 01:14:46.840
by and rent Rob for a day. A day! A day! Watch

01:14:46.840 --> 01:14:50.640
Rob consume seven bottles a night and still break

01:14:50.640 --> 01:14:55.460
dance and rule. Watch Rob Rad. Fart down the

01:14:55.460 --> 01:14:59.960
building. Fart down the building. Rob Rad assumes

01:14:59.960 --> 01:15:02.720
no responsibility whatsoever. He is not a babysitter

01:15:02.720 --> 01:15:04.140
and he doesn't give one hell of a shit about

01:15:04.140 --> 01:15:06.100
your children. Please remember to corral every

01:15:06.100 --> 01:15:08.439
little bastard you have before Rob gets there

01:15:08.439 --> 01:15:10.600
and while we'll not put up with any back talk,

01:15:10.760 --> 01:15:13.039
we'll promptly get them in the place. Rob Rad

01:15:13.039 --> 01:15:15.319
assumes no responsibility for anything that could

01:15:15.319 --> 01:15:18.000
be stolen from his visit. Rob Rad has no responsibility

01:15:18.000 --> 01:15:20.220
whatsoever in any help him of any situation.

01:15:21.060 --> 01:15:23.680
Read a Rob today. Tomorrow morning, while grinding

01:15:23.680 --> 01:15:25.880
your coffee beans for your double mocha latte,

01:15:26.159 --> 01:15:28.819
remember to not get your genitals caught in the

01:15:28.819 --> 01:15:32.000
grinder. It really hurts. And who can afford

01:15:32.000 --> 01:15:37.319
plastic surgery? Stay safe, everyone. Sir, I

01:15:37.319 --> 01:15:39.939
see your qualifications here. May I ask some

01:15:39.939 --> 01:15:41.680
further questions that could help me determine

01:15:41.680 --> 01:15:45.079
your employment eligibility? Yes, sir. I'm ready.

01:15:45.500 --> 01:15:48.119
Well, as you can see here, we have a large population

01:15:48.119 --> 01:15:50.760
of different ethnic backgrounds, sexuality, and

01:15:50.760 --> 01:15:55.539
ages. Are you by chance bilingual? Well, sir,

01:15:55.680 --> 01:15:58.079
I'm not sure why you need that kind of information,

01:15:58.079 --> 01:16:01.199
but, well, it was only one time in summer camp.

01:16:01.539 --> 01:16:08.649
I considered it experimental. Well, you know,

01:16:08.670 --> 01:16:11.810
I got a neat little story here about a little

01:16:11.810 --> 01:16:14.069
prank that me and Davey, my friend that I refer

01:16:14.069 --> 01:16:18.210
to often, played in the old Bannister Mall. Remember

01:16:18.210 --> 01:16:21.609
that? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Boy, that was an area

01:16:21.609 --> 01:16:24.170
for a lot of fucking fun. We used to get away

01:16:24.170 --> 01:16:26.489
with murder at that place. We had done the stupidest

01:16:26.489 --> 01:16:29.229
shit. Well, there was a security guard, a little

01:16:29.229 --> 01:16:32.550
short little fucker, kind of a little dumpy little

01:16:32.550 --> 01:16:35.670
guy named Sam. And he hated us long hair. We

01:16:35.670 --> 01:16:37.510
were in there getting all the chicks and he didn't

01:16:37.510 --> 01:16:40.649
fucking like it. Sam used to always try to get

01:16:40.649 --> 01:16:43.510
me kicked out. And Davey too, but more me. He

01:16:43.510 --> 01:16:46.829
really hated me for some reason. So he'd always

01:16:46.829 --> 01:16:49.609
screw with me. He got me kicked out for about

01:16:49.609 --> 01:16:52.930
two weeks. Then we went to court and the judge

01:16:52.930 --> 01:16:54.949
said you can't kick him out. It's a public mall.

01:16:56.010 --> 01:17:00.170
Yeah. Anyhow, one of the biggest ways to sell

01:17:00.170 --> 01:17:04.510
a hoax is to... we found this out, was to have

01:17:04.510 --> 01:17:07.569
a set -up guy that no one knew. Just a guy to

01:17:07.569 --> 01:17:10.430
confirm what you're saying. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah,

01:17:10.489 --> 01:17:13.670
I did see that monkey over there. Yeah. Last

01:17:13.670 --> 01:17:15.850
I saw him, he was on top of that building and

01:17:15.850 --> 01:17:17.489
he was throwing shit at somebody. The random

01:17:17.489 --> 01:17:18.930
witness you see who disappears. The random witness,

01:17:18.949 --> 01:17:26.250
yes. Yeah. So, this guy, okay, this is Bannister

01:17:26.250 --> 01:17:29.630
Mall, early 1980s. Me and my good buddy Davey

01:17:29.630 --> 01:17:33.109
were hanging out. We're crazy long hairs that

01:17:33.109 --> 01:17:36.409
the average teen would follow because we're long

01:17:36.409 --> 01:17:39.409
hairs. We're kind of like the Pied Piper of teens.

01:17:39.689 --> 01:17:42.510
People used to look at us and go, well, there's

01:17:42.510 --> 01:17:44.689
the party. Let's just follow them around until

01:17:44.689 --> 01:17:48.729
they go to it. I've done that. Yeah, they used

01:17:48.729 --> 01:17:50.189
to do it all the time. We'd be like, where are

01:17:50.189 --> 01:17:52.829
you guys going? Cleveland? Ohio? No, Missouri.

01:17:53.189 --> 01:17:55.800
That guy looks like he might have beer. Yeah,

01:17:55.800 --> 01:17:58.560
yeah, yeah. So they'd just start following us,

01:17:58.659 --> 01:18:00.359
and that's just the way it were. And then we'd

01:18:00.359 --> 01:18:03.920
all introduce, hey, I'm so -and -so, I'm so -and

01:18:03.920 --> 01:18:06.579
-so. We'd have a good time, Cleveland Lake or

01:18:06.579 --> 01:18:09.800
something, slamming beers, doing stupid shit.

01:18:10.859 --> 01:18:13.340
So Davey and I had certain buddies that would

01:18:13.340 --> 01:18:15.699
walk up and hear the bullshit that was spewing

01:18:15.699 --> 01:18:18.859
and then help seal the deal. They'd sell it completely.

01:18:19.880 --> 01:18:22.920
One guy that walked around to help us was a punker

01:18:22.920 --> 01:18:26.710
named Jason. Jason was really cool because he

01:18:26.710 --> 01:18:28.510
looked like the type of guy that wouldn't like

01:18:28.510 --> 01:18:33.909
us. But we got to talking to him and we saw eye

01:18:33.909 --> 01:18:36.289
to eye on everything except music. Everything

01:18:36.289 --> 01:18:39.729
else we were the same. Fuck society, fuck the

01:18:39.729 --> 01:18:43.210
average guy, fuck this, fuck that. But when it

01:18:43.210 --> 01:18:45.149
came to music, we were like fucking listening

01:18:45.149 --> 01:18:50.689
to Motley Crue and shit like that. I don't know,

01:18:50.810 --> 01:18:54.489
the Ramones or even deeper than that, you know,

01:18:54.489 --> 01:19:00.590
Dick Kennedy, the germs. Television. Yeah. Yeah,

01:19:00.750 --> 01:19:05.770
he was a real punker. Yeah. He had an orange

01:19:05.770 --> 01:19:12.369
mohawk. Sweet. Or black spike leather. And Doc

01:19:12.369 --> 01:19:15.590
Martens. So, I mean, you know, you got the guy,

01:19:15.670 --> 01:19:19.569
right? You know who I'm talking about. Great

01:19:19.569 --> 01:19:21.609
guy, though. I'd love to know what happened to

01:19:21.609 --> 01:19:23.869
him. So, Jason, if you happen to hear this abortion,

01:19:24.050 --> 01:19:27.149
please... Oh, I guess that's a bad word now,

01:19:27.149 --> 01:19:31.329
isn't it? Oh. This atrocity. There we go. If

01:19:31.329 --> 01:19:33.510
you happen to hear this horrible atrocity, then,

01:19:33.569 --> 01:19:37.609
you know, hey, send us an email. Yeah. I forgot

01:19:37.609 --> 01:19:41.479
what the valid email is, so... We put so many

01:19:41.479 --> 01:19:43.800
bullshit ones out there, we can't remember our

01:19:43.800 --> 01:19:46.520
real one. I know. There is a valid one, and I

01:19:46.520 --> 01:19:50.739
can't remember what the hell it is. We also have

01:19:50.739 --> 01:19:53.520
an actual real phone number. Hell if I know that

01:19:53.520 --> 01:19:56.840
one either. Yeah, so I can't even remember the

01:19:56.840 --> 01:20:03.020
real one. There you go. Show prep. Yeah. Here

01:20:03.020 --> 01:20:04.979
I was talking about show prep and making a big

01:20:04.979 --> 01:20:06.699
deal out of it, and I can't even remember our

01:20:06.699 --> 01:20:11.739
email. So, anyhow, meanwhile. There's this one

01:20:11.739 --> 01:20:13.960
security guard named Sam that I kind of alluded

01:20:13.960 --> 01:20:16.760
to or actually went into a little bit. Sam was

01:20:16.760 --> 01:20:20.859
a jealous little pussy bitch. He constantly tried

01:20:20.859 --> 01:20:22.420
to get me kicked out and barred from the mall

01:20:22.420 --> 01:20:24.489
and like I said earlier, he did. for a while,

01:20:24.569 --> 01:20:26.189
for a couple of weeks, and we went to court.

01:20:26.489 --> 01:20:29.470
I got back in, which really fumed his ass, burned

01:20:29.470 --> 01:20:32.109
his ass. Because every time I seen him, I was

01:20:32.109 --> 01:20:34.810
like overzealous about him. Hi, Sam, how are

01:20:34.810 --> 01:20:37.470
you? You came over for dinner tonight, little

01:20:37.470 --> 01:20:40.329
guy? A little tiny bit of authority he had, and

01:20:40.329 --> 01:20:45.270
it was gone. You look cute today. I duped his

01:20:45.270 --> 01:20:48.029
nose one time, and he cut about what, unglued.

01:20:49.430 --> 01:20:51.609
So, you know, me and Davey used to play moon

01:20:51.609 --> 01:20:54.880
tricks on Sam constantly. Sounds like he deserved

01:20:54.880 --> 01:20:58.680
it. Oh, he did, you know. So we quickly went

01:20:58.680 --> 01:21:01.859
to Jason to be the casual guy walking by to sell

01:21:01.859 --> 01:21:04.439
it. So Jason's over in the corner where the movement

01:21:04.439 --> 01:21:07.380
theaters upstairs used to be because then they

01:21:07.380 --> 01:21:09.359
went downstairs for a while and then they disappeared.

01:21:09.659 --> 01:21:11.800
Oh, yeah. Yeah, they used to be upstairs, mid

01:21:11.800 --> 01:21:15.100
-upstairs. So I think right across from Food

01:21:15.100 --> 01:21:17.479
Court, maybe, if I remember correctly. Well,

01:21:17.479 --> 01:21:19.939
now in my mind I'm getting confused with Ward

01:21:19.939 --> 01:21:21.859
Parkway because their movie theaters shifted

01:21:21.859 --> 01:21:25.229
around a bit, too. Okay, well anyhow this is

01:21:25.229 --> 01:21:27.909
when they were upstairs because I remember that

01:21:27.909 --> 01:21:29.789
part well because people are coming in to go

01:21:29.789 --> 01:21:33.909
to movies and we're screwing with them. So Davey

01:21:33.909 --> 01:21:36.289
and I set this one up perfectly. We had a buddy

01:21:36.289 --> 01:21:42.829
that he won a backstage pass to Great White.

01:21:42.989 --> 01:21:45.750
I'll remember that. It's a video shoot, okay?

01:21:45.869 --> 01:21:49.520
As an extra. Oh, that'd be cool. Yeah. And he

01:21:49.520 --> 01:21:52.119
was in it. I don't know if it was once bit or

01:21:52.119 --> 01:21:55.739
something else, but he was in it. And on the

01:21:55.739 --> 01:21:59.640
back was stamped used. But on the front, it had

01:21:59.640 --> 01:22:03.039
an MTV logo. It didn't have a specific band.

01:22:03.279 --> 01:22:06.039
It didn't say Great White. It just said, Extra

01:22:06.039 --> 01:22:09.939
for MTV Video Shoot. And I remember really well

01:22:09.939 --> 01:22:12.659
it was green with an orange MTV on it with her

01:22:12.659 --> 01:22:15.079
famous logo. Yeah. It was really cool looking

01:22:15.079 --> 01:22:19.680
and it was like made with some sort of a really

01:22:19.680 --> 01:22:24.800
thick paper and it was engraved, I guess. Oh,

01:22:24.800 --> 01:22:27.060
yeah. Yeah, it was raised. It felt great. It

01:22:27.060 --> 01:22:29.079
felt like the seal of something. Embossed paper.

01:22:29.380 --> 01:22:31.659
Embossed. Raised printing. Raised printing, whatever.

01:22:32.000 --> 01:22:34.930
Makes it a lot harder to counterfeit. Plus it

01:22:34.930 --> 01:22:37.470
makes it look cool. So our friend agreed to let

01:22:37.470 --> 01:22:39.050
us borrow this for a little while. We got it

01:22:39.050 --> 01:22:42.029
back to him like we said. We didn't tear it up

01:22:42.029 --> 01:22:44.569
or steal it or nothing. Davey started waving

01:22:44.569 --> 01:22:46.710
the card in the air and making fun of me because

01:22:46.710 --> 01:22:50.770
he got this and I didn't. He was like, hey, I'm

01:22:50.770 --> 01:22:57.489
going to be on this whatever. So he's waiting

01:22:57.489 --> 01:22:59.090
around going, I'm going to be on the video and

01:22:59.090 --> 01:23:00.729
you're not because you're too stupid and you

01:23:00.729 --> 01:23:03.930
couldn't win and all this stuff, right? So this

01:23:03.930 --> 01:23:07.869
magical card was supposed to be a freebie to

01:23:07.869 --> 01:23:10.529
be an extra on the set of MTV. This is what we

01:23:10.529 --> 01:23:13.130
set it up to be, right? A list of hundreds of

01:23:13.130 --> 01:23:17.409
bands, the secret MTV guy walking around, he

01:23:17.409 --> 01:23:19.170
was walking around the mall and this was going

01:23:19.170 --> 01:23:22.670
to be Sam eventually. So the secret MTV guy that

01:23:22.670 --> 01:23:25.569
has these free magical passes was Sam, only he

01:23:25.569 --> 01:23:29.899
didn't know it. So Davey's like, and I'm like,

01:23:29.960 --> 01:23:34.000
fucking asshole. Yeah, all this stuff. So automatically,

01:23:34.420 --> 01:23:36.640
you see people getting ready to walk in, right?

01:23:36.760 --> 01:23:38.039
Getting ready to go to a movie, they're like,

01:23:38.079 --> 01:23:42.520
yeah, just like magnetic. They're just staring

01:23:42.520 --> 01:23:45.300
at us. And Davey's like, and all this stuff.

01:23:45.340 --> 01:23:47.239
I'm like, man, that sucks, man. You get to go

01:23:47.239 --> 01:23:49.939
and I don't. So Davey is waving this around,

01:23:50.020 --> 01:23:53.479
making fun of me, and Jason will walk by. They

01:23:53.479 --> 01:23:55.439
go, yeah, I fucking won one too, but I threw

01:23:55.439 --> 01:23:57.180
it at them because there's no punk bands on it.

01:23:57.220 --> 01:24:00.760
Fuck that. I don't want to go. So all of a sudden,

01:24:00.760 --> 01:24:03.439
those kids are fucking coming over there. What

01:24:03.439 --> 01:24:09.399
was this? That's so clever. Oh, yeah. We set

01:24:09.399 --> 01:24:14.060
it up perfect. So the reason that we picked Sam

01:24:14.060 --> 01:24:17.479
to do this on that day was because we had the

01:24:17.479 --> 01:24:19.720
card for a couple of days. He was wearing plain

01:24:19.720 --> 01:24:22.140
clothes. And I guess he thought he was going

01:24:22.140 --> 01:24:24.100
to catch shoplifters or something not wearing

01:24:24.100 --> 01:24:26.100
his little fucking bitch outfit that he normally

01:24:26.100 --> 01:24:31.859
wore. So Jason, instead of us, goes, yeah, that

01:24:31.859 --> 01:24:33.699
fucking little douche right there is the one.

01:24:33.800 --> 01:24:36.079
That's the secret MTV guy. We didn't even say

01:24:36.079 --> 01:24:38.680
it. He did it. It sold it even more. Because

01:24:38.680 --> 01:24:41.420
all these teens are like, you know, fucking their

01:24:41.420 --> 01:24:43.579
heads spun around and they're staring at him.

01:24:45.000 --> 01:24:48.760
So Jason said, yeah, he goes, yeah, I bit him

01:24:48.760 --> 01:24:54.819
on the ear to get one. So the story was this.

01:24:55.140 --> 01:24:57.420
It's getting better and better. The more outrageous

01:24:57.420 --> 01:25:00.340
you were, the more likely you were to get a free

01:25:00.340 --> 01:25:06.039
pass on MTV. Yeah. So automatically, he had like

01:25:06.039 --> 01:25:09.460
50 teens jumping in front of him, fucking biting

01:25:09.460 --> 01:25:12.420
his ear, kicking him in the ass. One guy was

01:25:12.420 --> 01:25:15.100
clucking like a chicken in his face. Another

01:25:15.100 --> 01:25:18.399
guy's like, look, I'm a bird. Some guy fucking

01:25:18.399 --> 01:25:21.850
jumped off to one side. Another guy ripped off

01:25:21.850 --> 01:25:26.010
one of the trees and hit him with a switch. And

01:25:26.010 --> 01:25:29.210
Sam was just fucking freaking out, man. He's

01:25:29.210 --> 01:25:30.750
like, what the fuck? And they're like, we want

01:25:30.750 --> 01:25:33.029
a pass. We want a pass. He's like, what pass?

01:25:33.630 --> 01:25:36.649
This probably went on for fucking 25 minutes.

01:25:36.970 --> 01:25:40.250
He was losing his mind. Yes, he was. He didn't

01:25:40.250 --> 01:25:41.409
know what was going on. What planet did I wake

01:25:41.409 --> 01:25:43.869
up on? You get 10 teens away from him, right?

01:25:44.489 --> 01:25:48.489
And then you have 10 more teens attacking. So,

01:25:48.529 --> 01:25:51.850
look, we leave. We let this go on and let it

01:25:51.850 --> 01:25:54.069
go downhill. And those teams told another one,

01:25:54.109 --> 01:25:55.670
get the pass from that fucker. He didn't give

01:25:55.670 --> 01:25:58.550
us anything. So this just kept rolling on and

01:25:58.550 --> 01:26:02.880
rolling on and rolling on. We come back a couple

01:26:02.880 --> 01:26:05.340
hours later. Oh, no, I know what we did. We went

01:26:05.340 --> 01:26:08.079
to Andy's Santa Fe and had a burrito. I remember

01:26:08.079 --> 01:26:10.239
the Andy's. We weren't even old enough to drink,

01:26:10.260 --> 01:26:12.359
but we still did because they never carded there.

01:26:12.680 --> 01:26:15.220
We both had margaritas. We were fucking laughing

01:26:15.220 --> 01:26:17.920
at our feet on the table and shit. Davey had

01:26:17.920 --> 01:26:19.899
fucking flip -flops on, so they eventually got

01:26:19.899 --> 01:26:22.260
mad and kicked us out because you could see his

01:26:22.260 --> 01:26:26.520
toenails hanging out. People did like that. So,

01:26:26.520 --> 01:26:29.479
hey, we get back in, and all of a sudden we see

01:26:29.479 --> 01:26:31.720
Sam coming by, all disheveled. By this time,

01:26:31.739 --> 01:26:33.880
everything was gone. It was all said and done.

01:26:34.279 --> 01:26:37.239
I go, hey, Sam. I go, do you want to know where

01:26:37.239 --> 01:26:41.199
all that came from? Us. Davey pulled out the

01:26:41.199 --> 01:26:43.180
card and said, see this? I go, yeah, you just

01:26:43.180 --> 01:26:45.319
been had, bitch. Oh, he was fucking furious.

01:26:45.399 --> 01:26:47.739
He turned right back. You motherfucker. I'm going

01:26:47.739 --> 01:26:49.300
to get you out of here. I'm going to get you

01:26:49.300 --> 01:26:52.399
guys kicked out for good. I go, what for? I didn't

01:26:52.399 --> 01:26:55.770
do anything against them all. We didn't get kicked

01:26:55.770 --> 01:27:01.390
out. That was one of the best fucking pranks

01:27:01.390 --> 01:27:03.350
we ever played. It was brilliant. And I just

01:27:03.350 --> 01:27:04.949
thought about it the other day. I'm like, my

01:27:04.949 --> 01:27:09.529
God. There are some other ones I've got to remember

01:27:09.529 --> 01:27:14.789
that we did to him, too. And then I got another

01:27:14.789 --> 01:27:18.810
one. You listen to the solo cast, right? I'm

01:27:18.810 --> 01:27:21.050
going to tell the story about the nutbiter. Oh,

01:27:21.069 --> 01:27:25.199
yes. Oh, gosh. Oh, shit. What's that over there?

01:27:25.800 --> 01:27:35.479
Oh, no. It's an island of horrible jokes. A panic

01:27:35.479 --> 01:27:38.239
-stricken man explained to his doctor, you have

01:27:38.239 --> 01:27:41.300
to help me. I'm shrinking. The doctor said I

01:27:41.300 --> 01:27:52.109
will. You have to be a little patient. Miss Gulkenstein

01:27:52.109 --> 01:27:54.149
was tired of Mark and Toe for making sport of

01:27:54.149 --> 01:27:57.050
her. Little did the douchebags know, Miss Gulkenstein

01:27:57.050 --> 01:27:59.770
was a voodoo high priestess when she was younger.

01:28:00.310 --> 01:28:04.189
She grew angry and cast a spell on Rob, changing

01:28:04.189 --> 01:28:08.869
Rob into a capuchin monkey. Mark took Rob to

01:28:08.869 --> 01:28:10.869
a local zoo so he could be with the other monkeys.

01:28:11.210 --> 01:28:15.029
Here are the adventures of Rob, the capuchin

01:28:15.029 --> 01:28:20.619
monkey. Shh, be very quiet. going to listen in

01:28:20.619 --> 01:28:23.119
as rob the capuchin monkey tries to sell the

01:28:23.119 --> 01:28:26.199
rest of the capuchin monkeys amway rob has always

01:28:26.199 --> 01:28:29.539
dreamed of becoming a diamond status amway as

01:28:29.539 --> 01:28:52.840
a capuchin monkey Little did our hero Rob know.

01:28:53.479 --> 01:28:56.220
All the great apes owned stock in Sam's Club

01:28:56.220 --> 01:28:58.420
and became violently pissed off when he tried

01:28:58.420 --> 01:29:00.939
to infringe on their territory. They promptly

01:29:00.939 --> 01:29:03.119
grabbed switches and beat his ass for three days

01:29:03.119 --> 01:29:07.380
straight. Rob could not sit down. And now, Deep

01:29:07.380 --> 01:29:14.180
Thoughts with Mark. Should I record frog sounds

01:29:14.180 --> 01:29:17.060
in the summer, then play them when it's zero

01:29:17.060 --> 01:29:19.939
degrees on my ring doorbell for the Amazon guy?

01:29:21.039 --> 01:29:30.020
Yeah, that sounds like fun. Somewhere in the

01:29:30.020 --> 01:29:32.460
heavens, your great Grammy Gertrude is crying

01:29:32.460 --> 01:29:35.699
because her little Bebo is listening to this

01:29:35.699 --> 01:29:41.420
film. This is Joshua Belmont, your food for thought

01:29:41.420 --> 01:29:44.420
man on The Hustle. So I just realized a genius

01:29:44.420 --> 01:29:47.319
that gets absolutely no credit. His name is Marshall

01:29:47.319 --> 01:29:50.010
Taylor. he is credited with the first bag of

01:29:50.010 --> 01:29:52.829
salad makes that was bagged and sold yesterday

01:29:52.829 --> 01:29:56.430
was his birthday i believe he is still alive

01:29:56.430 --> 01:29:59.390
this guy's genius will never be fully appreciated

01:29:59.390 --> 01:30:02.649
before this man we settled for iceberg lettuce

01:30:02.649 --> 01:30:04.810
with maybe a couple of croutons and some cheese

01:30:04.810 --> 01:30:09.140
was mr taylor satisfied with that hell no He

01:30:09.140 --> 01:30:11.140
realized that Billy Americana would never go

01:30:11.140 --> 01:30:13.119
out and buy a couple of radishes, a couple of

01:30:13.119 --> 01:30:15.739
carrots, a head of purple cabbage, maybe snow

01:30:15.739 --> 01:30:18.039
peas, and possibly some cute romaine bladders

01:30:18.039 --> 01:30:21.760
for extra bougie. Mr. Taylor, you should have

01:30:21.760 --> 01:30:38.609
a national holiday. Two Deuce Bags and Microphone

01:30:38.609 --> 01:30:43.029
Podcast. We are here at the Crescent Hotel at

01:30:43.029 --> 01:30:48.130
the Mobile Talk is Cheap studio. And I'm Mark.

01:30:50.149 --> 01:30:53.689
And I am Rob at the beautiful night warm of Lake

01:30:53.689 --> 01:30:57.770
of the Ozarks in the Doug Black studio. For now.

01:30:58.449 --> 01:31:00.829
I know you're being a little quiet probably because

01:31:00.829 --> 01:31:04.670
you're outside. What now? Oh yeah, yeah. I know

01:31:04.670 --> 01:31:09.470
you're trying to be a little quiet there. You

01:31:09.470 --> 01:31:11.710
know what? No, no, no. People are actually kind

01:31:11.710 --> 01:31:13.569
of responding. I want them to come over here.

01:31:14.229 --> 01:31:16.829
But there's, like, all these weddings going on

01:31:16.829 --> 01:31:19.270
and stuff. And, you know, it's kind of hard to

01:31:19.270 --> 01:31:22.050
get people's attention because, you know, there's

01:31:22.050 --> 01:31:25.369
people everywhere. So, anyhow. All right. Well,

01:31:25.489 --> 01:31:28.310
in honor of being here at the Crescent, and hopefully

01:31:28.310 --> 01:31:30.810
we get some eerie stuff here recorded, we'll

01:31:30.810 --> 01:31:35.680
see what happens. The El Cortez Hotel and Casino

01:31:35.680 --> 01:31:38.739
in Las Vegas has a sure bet for you. Casino .org

01:31:38.739 --> 01:31:41.779
is offering $5 ,000 to one person to spend a

01:31:41.779 --> 01:31:44.220
full weekend in the hotel trying to scare up

01:31:44.220 --> 01:31:46.840
ghosts. The New York Post reported that the 84

01:31:46.840 --> 01:31:50.619
-year -old hotel, located on the Old Strip, reportedly

01:31:50.619 --> 01:31:53.920
has a basement that the cremated remains of former

01:31:53.920 --> 01:31:57.760
employees who died without family, among other

01:31:57.760 --> 01:32:00.859
creepy features. The lucky winner will be furnished

01:32:00.859 --> 01:32:03.500
with ghost hunting gear, including EMF readers,

01:32:03.800 --> 01:32:07.359
EVP recorders, and thermal sensors, and the ghost

01:32:07.359 --> 01:32:10.000
hunter will be expected to take photos and videos

01:32:10.000 --> 01:32:14.500
for evidence. That would be something pretty

01:32:14.500 --> 01:32:16.939
cool. There are actually people walking around

01:32:16.939 --> 01:32:21.039
here with EMV recorders and thermal imaging.

01:32:21.819 --> 01:32:24.000
They do it every time I'm here. People come to

01:32:24.000 --> 01:32:27.220
this place because most people or a lot of people

01:32:27.220 --> 01:32:29.380
believe it's the most haunted hotel in America.

01:32:29.739 --> 01:32:33.340
And because of its history, you know. It was

01:32:33.340 --> 01:32:38.060
a charlatan doctor that said that the basin spring

01:32:38.060 --> 01:32:41.800
water could cure cancer. This guy was so particularly

01:32:41.800 --> 01:32:44.739
evil that what he did was when the elite came

01:32:44.739 --> 01:32:47.920
here to get cured of their cancer with the...

01:32:48.539 --> 01:32:50.920
with the basin spring water he would have them

01:32:50.920 --> 01:32:54.180
write letters a bunch of letters saying he said

01:32:54.180 --> 01:32:56.979
you're going to be so you're going to be so busy

01:32:56.979 --> 01:32:59.199
you know doing therapy and getting better that

01:32:59.199 --> 01:33:01.279
you won't have time to write your family so i

01:33:01.279 --> 01:33:03.180
need you to write a bunch of letters ahead of

01:33:03.180 --> 01:33:07.439
time and send them off as we go along well the

01:33:07.439 --> 01:33:10.079
the person is already dead a long time and they're

01:33:10.079 --> 01:33:12.000
still sending letters sucking money from the

01:33:12.000 --> 01:33:15.819
wealthy family And all of those souls that passed

01:33:15.819 --> 01:33:18.119
away here trying to get better from cancer, they

01:33:18.119 --> 01:33:20.319
say that all of them are here, and that's why

01:33:20.319 --> 01:33:23.920
the place is haunted, and that's why people flock

01:33:23.920 --> 01:33:26.960
from all over the country to be here. So, anyhow,

01:33:27.119 --> 01:33:33.060
Rob, go ahead. Okay, I want to go into a Chernobyl

01:33:33.060 --> 01:33:37.060
story. Oh, yeah, yeah, that fun place. Yeah,

01:33:37.079 --> 01:33:41.600
you like my Chernobyl story. Oh, yes, yes. Who

01:33:41.600 --> 01:33:45.760
doesn't love a good Chernobyl story? What a little

01:33:45.760 --> 01:33:48.140
campground. I like campgrounding there whenever

01:33:48.140 --> 01:33:51.420
I'm in Russia. It's great. Oh, this one's better.

01:33:51.899 --> 01:33:59.779
Okay. I bought a vodka from Chernobyl. Oh. Someone

01:33:59.779 --> 01:34:05.060
brought their dog. Oh, all right, dude. Oh, okay.

01:34:05.279 --> 01:34:07.859
Someone's walking their dog. Yeah, yeah, I'm

01:34:07.859 --> 01:34:11.659
talking to the dog. Okay. Tell him, buddy. Tell

01:34:11.659 --> 01:34:15.439
him. He did. He got after him. You think that

01:34:15.439 --> 01:34:18.039
was dog fuck you? Was that dog fuck you? That

01:34:18.039 --> 01:34:21.960
was dog fuck you, wasn't it? Yeah, that was one

01:34:21.960 --> 01:34:23.600
dog sticking his head out the window going, hey,

01:34:23.619 --> 01:34:28.979
yo, fuck you. So anyhow, go ahead. One of them

01:34:28.979 --> 01:34:35.119
was from the city. Yes. The other one was the

01:34:35.119 --> 01:34:37.220
one walking. He's like, ah, get the fuck off.

01:34:37.319 --> 01:34:45.279
I don't care. He's like, whatever, drunk tourists,

01:34:45.359 --> 01:34:53.000
get out of here. It's funny how we can take anything

01:34:53.000 --> 01:34:58.460
and turn it. It doesn't matter. Go ahead, I'm

01:34:58.460 --> 01:35:03.119
sorry. The accident at the Chernobyl power plant

01:35:03.119 --> 01:35:05.840
caused a magnitude of effects that would last

01:35:05.840 --> 01:35:09.920
a lifetime and affect generations. However, as

01:35:09.920 --> 01:35:13.189
the smoke cleared up to grows on the abandoned

01:35:13.189 --> 01:35:16.810
land, and one of them was utilized to create

01:35:16.810 --> 01:35:22.649
liquor. Okay. As a part of a four -year experiment,

01:35:22.770 --> 01:35:26.149
British and Ukrainian scientists created a vodka

01:35:26.149 --> 01:35:31.750
named Atomic with a K. I love the name. Which

01:35:31.750 --> 01:35:38.289
was made with radioactive apples. Oh! Even better.

01:35:38.409 --> 01:35:42.680
They make sure they can... produce a safe product

01:35:42.680 --> 01:35:46.619
with crops grown in an area that was contaminated

01:35:46.619 --> 01:35:50.840
during a nuclear disaster. The team sourced apples

01:35:50.840 --> 01:35:54.319
from a farmer inside the outer ring of the 18

01:35:54.319 --> 01:36:01.779
-mile exclusive zone. In the Ardachi district,

01:36:02.020 --> 01:36:05.760
I don't know how to say that, they used rye grain

01:36:05.760 --> 01:36:10.029
and water from that zone. The first bottle was

01:36:10.029 --> 01:36:14.569
produced in 2019. However, this invention was

01:36:14.569 --> 01:36:17.949
seized by the Ukrainian Security Service, according

01:36:17.949 --> 01:36:24.710
to ABC News. The SBU seized the bottles at a

01:36:24.710 --> 01:36:29.270
distillery plant in western Ukraine. Prosecutors

01:36:29.270 --> 01:36:33.350
stated that the action was not due to the radiation,

01:36:33.810 --> 01:36:37.750
but a problem with the customs documents. of

01:36:37.750 --> 01:36:41.090
the bottles that they might have forged duty

01:36:41.090 --> 01:36:48.329
stamps. Oh, that was it? Well, they may have.

01:36:48.489 --> 01:36:52.090
The scientists are now fighting the Ukrainian

01:36:52.090 --> 01:36:55.289
government to get back their seized invention.

01:36:55.970 --> 01:37:00.149
The Chernobyl Spirit Company said that 1 ,500

01:37:00.149 --> 01:37:13.100
bottles of atomic... Scientists were confused

01:37:13.100 --> 01:37:18.439
by the confiscation as the package was headed

01:37:18.439 --> 01:37:22.680
to the UK. It seems they were accusing us of

01:37:22.680 --> 01:37:26.779
using poor Ukrainian excise stamps. But this

01:37:26.779 --> 01:37:29.619
doesn't make sense since the bottles are from

01:37:29.619 --> 01:37:34.020
the UK market and are clearly labeled with valid

01:37:34.020 --> 01:37:39.779
UK excise stamps, stated Professor John Kim Smith.

01:37:40.970 --> 01:37:50.810
to observe the exclusion zone. KNews .com noted

01:37:50.810 --> 01:37:54.250
that the success of the drink could restart farming

01:37:54.250 --> 01:37:58.430
in the region, which was officially banned. They

01:37:58.430 --> 01:38:01.270
hoped to ship the first batch to the United Kingdom

01:38:01.270 --> 01:38:12.189
and the profits were to be donated. As the matter

01:38:12.189 --> 01:38:15.850
was distilled, there were no signs of radioactivity

01:38:15.850 --> 01:38:19.050
in the materials. When you distill something,

01:38:19.229 --> 01:38:22.390
impurities stay in the waste product, Smith added.

01:38:22.729 --> 01:38:31.630
Mm -hmm. So... Yeah, I hope. There are A &M bottles

01:38:31.630 --> 01:38:33.529
that go around, but I'd like to get a bottle

01:38:33.529 --> 01:38:36.430
of that. I would, too. And, yeah, I wouldn't

01:38:36.430 --> 01:38:38.430
worry about drinking it because I wouldn't. I

01:38:38.430 --> 01:38:41.399
would keep it like it is. Oh, yeah. Yeah, to

01:38:41.399 --> 01:38:43.340
me that would be an honor. Unfortunately, there's

01:38:43.340 --> 01:38:47.579
only 1 ,500 bottles, and the Ukrainian government

01:38:47.579 --> 01:38:50.699
has them. Okay, well, no wonder they're at war.

01:38:52.699 --> 01:38:55.979
Well, actually, they're part of it. They were

01:38:55.979 --> 01:38:59.399
part of it. No, I know. I'm joking around. I'm

01:38:59.399 --> 01:39:03.720
saying they want their radioactive vodka back.

01:39:05.380 --> 01:39:08.140
Yeah, they're going to try to steal it and help

01:39:08.140 --> 01:39:11.140
America or everybody else, it sounds like. Yep,

01:39:11.159 --> 01:39:15.699
yep, I would too. My opinion, my opinion. Same

01:39:15.699 --> 01:39:20.739
here, yes. All right, well, it is 922. Do you

01:39:20.739 --> 01:39:22.479
want to keep going or do you want to go ahead

01:39:22.479 --> 01:39:26.020
and shut this down? I'm ready to shut it down.

01:39:26.100 --> 01:39:28.920
We're on 75 and I've got Princess in the other

01:39:28.920 --> 01:39:32.130
room. Okay, cool. Alright, yeah, because it's

01:39:32.130 --> 01:39:33.689
getting ready to get really loud here because

01:39:33.689 --> 01:39:36.569
the wedding parties are all coming back here.

01:39:36.810 --> 01:39:39.630
I'm over here in the courtyard, which is near

01:39:39.630 --> 01:39:43.729
the axe throwing area and the outdoor swings

01:39:43.729 --> 01:39:46.590
and all of that stuff. And they all look like

01:39:46.590 --> 01:39:49.069
they just had their rehearsal dinner and all

01:39:49.069 --> 01:39:51.229
three of them are headed this way. So I'm going

01:39:51.229 --> 01:39:52.569
to go ahead and get the hell off of here too.

01:39:52.810 --> 01:39:56.989
So that's a good idea, Rob. Hey, why don't you

01:39:56.989 --> 01:40:00.840
set yourself up in a room? shut her up overnight?

01:40:01.739 --> 01:40:06.399
Oh, we're not staying there. Oh. We're staying

01:40:06.399 --> 01:40:10.300
at the Flatiron Suites. Oh, okay. I'm just here

01:40:10.300 --> 01:40:13.199
doing the podcast. Val's actually... Oh. Yeah,

01:40:13.300 --> 01:40:16.399
she's over there. I think she's... She's done

01:40:16.399 --> 01:40:19.659
with her margarita. I'm not sure. She's just

01:40:19.659 --> 01:40:23.920
over there. So, okay. All right. Hi, Albuquerque.

01:40:23.920 --> 01:40:28.840
Hi, Hicksville. Grandma Opal. Jimmy. Ricky. Love

01:40:28.840 --> 01:40:30.479
you guys. Thank you for listening. Good night,

01:40:30.520 --> 01:40:35.439
assholes. Hi, everybody. Good night, assholes.

01:40:38.319 --> 01:40:41.859
Oh, no. Looks like the show's over, kids. Mark

01:40:41.859 --> 01:40:44.899
has explosive diarrhea and can't afford a wireless

01:40:44.899 --> 01:40:48.539
mic. Fear not, assholes. They'll be back invading

01:40:48.539 --> 01:40:49.479
your ear holes soon.