Bye. Welcome again. We're happy you chose us.
Come on in. Wash yourself off. Would you enjoy
a bourbon and coke? There's a liquor store down
the road. If you go, I need rolling papers. Well,
since you're here, let's get this daily douchebag
pledge out of the way. All right, bitches, swing
your hips and pelvic thrust. Shout it out with
me. I, Joe or Jane Listener, promise to download
every podcast. I. Joe or Jane Listener promised
to make all friends, family members, and workmates
download the show. I, Joe or Jane Listener, promised
to grab idle computers, work computers, friends
computers, community computers, and other assorted
phones and listening devices and download the
show from there. I, Joe or Jane Listener, will
download the show and constantly barrage everyone
with show name and platforms. I, Joe or Jane
Listener, promise to wear a chicken costume and
scream the show's name from my front yard. And
finally, because of our 13 -year -old boy humor,
we must go to Knobloch Cooter Licking in Uranus,
Missouri to take selfies with the signs. If you
go to Uranus, go to the fudge factory. Yes, there's
a fudge factory in Uranus. No joke. Here at Two
Douchebags and a Microphone, we don't stand behind
our journalistic integrity. Go ahead and assume
we got the story wrong. At least we admit it.
Not like all those other guys, we can and will
lie if it makes the story better. Two douchebags
and a microphone. These guys are inviting as
a used hypodermic needle. Hey there, slap nuts.
It's time for the Creeps Music News. Hey, my
little pumpkin seeds. This is Johnny Rohypnol
with your music news. Almost two decades after
donated hundreds of signed books to the Negro
Leagues Baseball Museum. A legendary musician
returned to the museum Saturday to sign the book
he wrote about his massive collection. Geddy
Lee is best known as the lead vocalist and bassist
for legendary rock band Rush, but the Negro League's
Baseball Museum knows him best as the man who
donated 400 baseballs signed by Negro League
players. Lee returned to the museum today to
sign his new book about the stories tied to those
baseballs, called 72 Stories from the Collection
of Geddy Lee. Kendrick said Lee actually bid
on the collection at an auction specifically
to donate to the museum. Geddy, couldn't you
have at least played a small set while in town?
Casey isn't getting a tour date anyhow. This
is Johnny Rohypnol. That was your music news.
And remember, bar chords are bullshit. And now
we look in on the adventures of the technical
explanation guy. Why, excuse me, my dear sir.
Could you please direct me to the nearest self
-employed person in a motorized vehicle that
will transport me where I ask them to in exchange
for money and a tip? Do you mean an Uber ride?
Well, yes. Yes, I do mean an Uber ride. Then
just say an Uber ride, you dumb motherfucker.
And why are you constantly following me around
asking me stupid questions? Fucking idiot. And
now, Deep Thoughts with Mark. If a fly was de
-winged in a horrible accident, would that make
the fly, then, a wok? Hmm. I may never know.
Two douchebags and a microphone. I'm Mark here
in the Kansas City area, a mile away from the
famous original Jack Stack of Martin City at
the Talk is Cheap studio. Thank you, Rob. Thanks
for the cue. of a mile from Ozark Amphitheater.
Quack, quack. Okay, yeah, yeah, the Ozark Amphitheater.
That's where you saw, um, um, um, um, um, um,
shit, I forgot their name in the Kentucky Headhunters.
Ozark Mountain Daredevils. Yeah, yeah. And I've
seen 38 Special of Marshall Tucker. Oh, yeah.
I've seen Dixon Borner. Cool. That's Oh, yeah,
yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's cool. You said 38 Special,
so I got to do this, Rob. So caught up in you,
little girl. You're the one that's got me down
on my knees. So caught up in you, little girl.
I'm stopping. That's it. The lyrics on that are
so cheesy. I love the song. It's a great song.
I like 38 Special a lot. They're a great band.
The funny thing is, when you go... No, I know
that. I know that. I love them. They don't take
anything seriously. And, I mean, you know, they
know what they are. They know what they are.
They're a great band. They really are. Yep. Yep.
So, real quick, since I promised this just a
little bit ago when I posted that we're doing
two douchebags tonight, we need to send Brian
Branch of the Detroit Lions a get well soon card
because he had his little feelers hurt. Then
he said he was being relentlessly bullied by
the Chiefs. So what I'd like to know is, I've
got this card here, Rob. What should we write
on it? Roses are red, violets are blue, you fucking
lost. Fuck you. Sounds about right. Okay, there
you go, Brian Branch. Expect it. Expect it. I
am going to send it. I'm going to send it to
Brian Branch. Care of Detroit Lions. And I have
their address up here where you can send them
mail. And hopefully it gets to them. And I will
put a number in there if he has something to
say. And guess what? We'll put it on the podcast.
But I doubt if he does. So, all right. Speaking
of football, there's an Ohio State football player
with the last name Sayin. S -A -Y -I -N. I'm
just saying. I'm just saying. That's all. Just
saying. All right, Rob, I have this condition.
It's actually called phantom vibration syndrome.
That's when your phone is in your pocket and
you feel it vibrating, but it really isn't. Have
you ever had that happen? Dude, yes. Yeah, it's
an actual syndrome. I've known about it for quite
a while. All the time? Yeah. Yeah, you're like,
oh, shit. Fuck, I wonder if, you know, whatever,
lab results are in. I don't know. Someone had
to get, you know. A painter coming over, whatever,
you know. It's like, oh shit, I better check.
It's like, nothing? I could have swore that vibrated
like ten times. No, the thing is, I feel it.
My phone ain't even in my pocket. Yeah, that's
part of it. That's part of it, yes. Yeah, that's
the other part of it. Sometimes your phone's
in your pocket, but your phone does not have
to be in your pocket for you to feel it. So...
Yeah, I get this pretty much every day at work.
The problem is, every time I feel it vibrate,
I've trained myself to ignore it, so I miss a
lot of calls. Do you do the same? Well, my phone
lays on my table playing my music on my speaker,
so... Oh, okay, so you can... Okay, I got you.
Yeah, so I don't... The only way I know somebody's
calling is when my music shuts off. Okay. And
then it'll... Okay, you see, I rarely have...
And the last few days, there's been a lot, a
lot of spam calls. I don't know what triggers
that. Is it like you're looking online for stories
or something and they get your number? I don't
know. It's weird. Yeah, I haven't had spam calls
in a while. Yeah. I'm going to look into that.
There's got to be a reason why you have these
spam calls, and then you have some that are,
you know, you don't have them for a while, and
then suddenly you'll get an influx of them. I
wonder what the algorithm or whatever that is
on that, and how come suddenly, and on the same
way, I'll get like 30 of them in a row, and then
nothing for like, I don't know, three weeks,
and then like 30 more in a couple of weeks, and
then nothing. It's a weird deal. I know what
you're saying. yeah i don't have their number
it just comes up as spam risk so i know i answered
i've had that happen quite a few times um it'll
be like i don't know a call that you really need
to take and and you're like oh spam fuck that
and then then they'll leave a message like oh
shit you didn't say that you know whatever yeah
yeah same thing happens to me so But anyhow,
this phantom vibrating syndrome is a crapshoot
every time I feel it vibrating. So I learned
to just ignore it. So I'm thinking maybe I should
bet myself every time I think it's vibrating.
And either say, I bet it's real or not. And every
time I lose, I put that money in a vacation account
or invest it in Ethereum or something. That'd
be a good idea to make a little game out of it.
For real. No joke. Oh, you know what? Rob, that'll
work. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I like that one.
Hell yeah. Okay. It'd be cheaper than a vacation.
Oh, yeah. Yeah. And also, Whataburger right now
has raspberry Dr. Pepper shakes that are fucking
out of this world, dude. Oh, there you go. Bet
yourself. Yep. Yep. Makes me cry every time I
see it. With joy. Yes, that's right. And it makes
me cry with joy. What's better than that, Rob,
right? Right. That's right. Okay, so I'm thinking,
you know, I could get a smartwatch, but, you
know, and then I could just, a lot of people
do that at work. They have a smartwatch, and
they hear, you know, feel it vibrate or whatever,
and they look down at their watch and go, nope,
nothing, or oh, oh, oh, I better take this or
something, right? So, and then I see them, what
they'll do is they'll, like, click on it real
quick and then whisper, hey, I'll call you back.
Or, all right, hey, thanks for the reminder or
something, right? But, you know, I have a lot
of hesitation about it. You ever feel like you're
too electronicked up? You know what I mean? Yeah.
Yeah, yeah. It's just too encompassing. And it's
like, do I really want that more responsibility?
Okay, so I miss a few calls. I'll call them back.
I mean, if anything's that important, I'm going
to be sitting there next to the phone anyhow,
right? Yeah. Yeah, so, yeah, I entertain the
thought of getting a smart watch, but I was like,
you know what, I don't want any more electronics,
man. It seems like digital has pretty much taken
over my life and a lot of other people I know.
Yeah, so, but anyhow, you're talking to a guy
that has three podcasts, and I'm bitching about
digital stuff, so. No, no. So, anyhow. Hey, I'm
on one. I have nothing to prove. There you go.
Tech9, you know, from Kansas City, the rapper.
Yeah. Pretty big deal, really. I mean, he does
very well. He has this undercover video of people
tailgating Arrowhead Stadium. He's going up there
just shooting the shit and having a couple of
pops with him and stuff. It's pretty cool. So
if you ever get a chance, look it up tech nine
at arrowhead tailgating or something like that.
But I was like, wow, that was cool. He's just
out there just fucking around, having fun. Some
people, he let him know who the, who he is, you
know, cause he had like a, this kind of a disguise
on deal. And, uh, some of them, he just, you
know, nah, I'm just going to go ahead and go
on. And they'll figure it out later when someone
goes, Hey, I seen you online talking to tech.
And I'm like, what? You know? So. The reason
why we didn't podcast last night is because my
cousin's wife invited us for dinner. So I stayed
over there. That'd be fucking awesome. Now, I
know a lot of people that personally know him
very well. Everybody likes him. Yeah, I'm just
thinking it would not go over very well at Palm
to Terror Lake. Is it still like that down there?
Eh, not as bad. Not as bad. I mean, yeah, it's
not as bad, but it's getting better, definitely.
Okay, yeah. would like to think around the dark
ages the music would not go over oh the music
the music okay all right okay that's a little
bit that's a little bit better than what i thought
okay all right that's cool no no no no that that
is definitely got better well i know that that
definitely i know there's a small town in texas
till about 94 that had some very very discouraging
writing for um black people to go through their
town at night. It was right off the freeway,
and I couldn't believe it. And I was like, why
didn't someone take that sign down? And then
my friend, he goes, you'll get shot. I'm like,
okay, I don't want to take it down that bad.
So we went on. All right. Where the hell was
I? Oh, okay. I'm actually thinking about recording
a podcast. over there in Eureka Springs. We're
leaving tomorrow, like I said. And I'm going
to try to do it from a bar or an outdoor patio.
And then maybe we could have some people come
up and talk, like we do at the City Market. Are
you talking about our normal Wednesday night?
Yes. Okay, yeah, that would be great. Yeah, that's
what I'm talking about. I've got a couple of
places I think it would be all right. I mean,
we have the Basin Park there. If I want to, I
could go on the concourse anywhere there and
do it. But I would kind of like to go to, like,
what is the name of that one? New Delhi Cafe.
They have a really cool outdoor patio with trees
and tables and stuff. And I'm going to see if
I can't set up in there. That would be cooler
than hell. And then people walking by, you know,
since they're... you know, having dinner and
maybe going to go use the bathroom or go grab
a beer or something, they'd be a little bit more
wanting to maybe stop and talk. Where the Basin
Park, people are going from one store to another
or getting to the hotel or something, and they
may not want to stop and talk so much. But the
reason I think it would be so cool down there
at Eureka Springs is because people come from
all over. And I think it'd be cool to just go,
hey, where are you from? You know, Tucson or
whatever, you know, and just shoot the shit with
them a while. So, and then I got a question that
I am not going to, I'm not going to do it on
the emails. By the way, Mitch replied. We'll
get to that later. Mitch replied, Rob. All right.
Okay. So. I'm ready. I'm ready. You just don't
know. I'll just wait till then. Mitch brought
it this time. I'm proud of him. So anyhow, so
it'd be pretty cool. So Hank asked me, and that
sounds like a fake name, but it doesn't have
to be. I think everything's a fake name whenever
I read it. Hank was wondering if we script out
the show much. I just do bullet points. You know,
and then, you know, you just put down key points
of a subject, and then the rest is just our personalities.
I think that's the best. To me, that's the best
way to do it. You want your personality to show,
right? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Oh, shit. Oh, there
goes. Are you there? Speaking of personalities.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, we got enough of you. Yeah,
we got the personalities down, that's for sure.
Yes. So I was wondering, yeah, yeah, we got personalities,
that's for sure. Some people love them, some
people hate them, but we got them. Well, you
need to know us in person to really know those
personalities. Yes. I think they get a little
bit of an idea because we just fucking wander
off everywhere on everything. But I hope, well,
it's enjoyable, I think, because the numbers
are outstanding. So thank you, everybody that's
listening. So, but speaking of people listening,
OK, well, first off, what if you had your right
ass cheek bit off by like a shark or something
here in the ocean? Right. Would you then be half
-assed? Yeah, definitely. Yeah, okay. I was just
checking. I would rather take the left. Okay.
Why is that? Because you sit on the right. If
a shark is going to take my ass cheek, I'd rather
be my left. Okay. I'm right -handed. You know
what? I lean on my right when I sit, you know.
The same here. I agree, Rob. Yeah. If a shark
was going to take off my ass cheek, I would want
it to be the left one, too, because I am right
-handed. Yes. All right. Great idea, Rob. I knew
I could count on you. I knew I could count on
you. So, I guess my old employers are still listening.
My old employers. I didn't say that right. I
don't think. I don't know. I guess my old employers
are still listening. My buddy sent me a picture
of one of my Employee of the Month plaques from
2012 that used to hang in their hallway. It was
thrown away in the dumpster. They could have
been decent humans and mailed it to me. I didn't
want the piece of shit anyhow. I want nothing
of them anymore. Nothing reminds me of them or
nothing. And that would be like, oh, I'd look
at it and think about it for a minute and be
like, oh, no, no, no. Oh, you know what? I think
he captured it. I'll talk to him, my friend Steve.
I used to go out of town with him a lot. I'll
talk to him. If he has it, I'll get that and
I'll get it to you, okay? Yeah, I will hang it
up in the Doug Blind studio. Yeah, that'd be
cool. I've got two Employee of the Months where
I'm at now, two in a little bit over four years.
I'm pretty happy with those. So those other ones,
I don't need them. I don't like them people anyhow.
I don't like them one bit, and I'm happy to know
that they're still listening and probably pretty
angry. So there you go, fuckwads. Eat it. Eat
it. Eat a big bowl of shit. There, right here.
I'll even make one up for you. Give you a spoon.
I'll give you the bowl. Anyhow, all right. Hey,
I'll give you the goat milk. Okay. Sounds good.
But I informed Steve, I said, The plaque looked
great in the trash can, but I think it would
go better use up their collective asses. All
of them. Yeah. Yeah, so those jokers can suck
on a tailpipe. They probably finally dug it out.
I think they just got done listening to one of
the podcasts, walked by and said, oh, fuck, no.
Get that son of a bitch out of here right now.
Throw it in the trash. Aha, fucktards. Anyhow.
Okay, the other morning I went by Dutch Brothers
Coffee. Their coffee is amazing, but I was in
a hurry and didn't have time to stop anywhere
else, so I saw that they had food. I never knew
that they had food. They have a couple of items
at Dutch Brothers now. Their coffee is the best,
but, well, my opinion is that it's the worst
fucking breakfast sandwich I've ever had in my
life. Oh, my gosh. I've never had the displeasure
of trying to eat something so horrible ever.
I'm almost certain that it's microwaved and probably
arrives frozen. It was allegedly a sausage and
egg slider. More like owl shit on a bun. I just
found it odd that they can have coffee so good
and food, in my opinion, so horrible. For all
I know, maybe the people didn't care and they
made it wrong. But I'm pretty sure that's not
the case. I think what it is is they wanted to
have a little something to eat, but that's not
what they do. So they're like, hey, here's some
frozen biscuits and some frozen sausages. Just
melt these fuckers in that little tin can over
there, and then throw them out there on a plate.
There you go. All right. So, anyhow. And it was
a little bitty, too. I worked till 5. I have
not had dinner yet. I was going to wait until
after the podcast, but I think you just ruined
my dinner. Oh, shit. You know, if you ever need
to eat, Rob, I don't expect you to not eat and
go straight into this podcast. You can always...
I normally wait a while until after I'm done
working anyway. Oh, okay. Yeah, I normally eat
about like 8 o 'clock at night. That's when I
work until 4. So, it works out. I eat right before
I go to bed, which I know is not good for you,
but hey, at least I'm getting something. You
know, Rob, you're in good shape. I wouldn't fucking
worry about it. You work all that off, dude.
You work all that off and then some. Yeah. So,
okay. Ace Frehley passed away at the age of 74.
The legendary guitarist of Kiss. The original
guitarist of Kiss. And the purveyor of a lot
of very, very good guitaring and music. And it's
sad because he was one of the people that I idolized
growing up. And like I said to a couple friends
of mine, only the coolest kids liked Ace the
best. They loved the spaceman. Everybody else
was fine. You got the cat. You got the lover.
You got the demon. They were fine. But the coolest
of the cool was the spaceman, right? Yes. Yes.
Yeah, Ace. Ace was the coolest. So, here's what
I'm getting at right here, and it bothers me.
And you tell me if it bothers you, too. Or if
this is just a mean, weird thing. All right.
All these stars, they have feuds with their other
band members, right? I remember about a year
ago, remember Paul was insulting the shit out
of Ace? I know exactly where you're going right
now. I read that. Yes. And Ace fighting back
with his own words to Paul and Gene. Ace dies.
And suddenly, these other two members that was
fighting with, they're sad, hurt, and they're
in mourning. Do you fucking believe that? Oh,
yeah. Oh, they miss their brother so much. Yes.
Yeah. Yes. Yes. Yeah. I agree. If he was still
alive, they'd still be taking barbs at each other.
I don't know if I fucking believe that. Because
here, I've got a great example here. Okay. I
don't think that Gene and Paul are being honest,
in my opinion. To me, I think there's a lot of
heat there. And I think that they genuinely grew
apart and didn't like each other very much because,
you know, there's different, you know, Paul and
Gene felt like Ace fucked the whole band up by
getting drunk and smashed all the time and unreliable.
And Ace feels like they just trashed him all
the time after that. He's having some problems.
So there's two sides of the coin, and I see both
of them. But the shit about, oh, he's a fucking
asshole. He's an anti -Semite. He thinks that
me and... This is what Paul said not too long
ago. And he keeps reminding people of it from
what I read. If it's true, he kept saying, Peter
and Ace... View us two Jewish guys as Jews that
are hogging up all the money. He's said this
several times and he says that he knows that
he knew that was a fact or he truly believes
it or something. Okay. How much is he in mourning
is what I'd like to ask. I would love to just
look at Paul and go, are you really in mourning
or does that sound like the thing to fucking
say? Because there you were bagging on the guy
two days ago and suddenly he's dead. I'd feel
stupid too. Let's say I didn't like a neighbor
or something. I go, oh, fuck him. He's a dick.
Fuck him. He's an asshole. And then you find
out he, like, dropped dead, and you're like,
oh, man. Oh, he was the best neighbor. Yeah,
yeah. I'm sick of that shit. Fess up to it. Go,
yeah, we had some problems, you know, and we
didn't necessarily get along, but I certainly
didn't wish him dead, and I'm sorry for the family.
And now I feel kind of stupid. I feel kind of
silly for fighting with a guy. I should have
been loving on him. I didn't know we had this
little of time. You know, there's a lot better
things to say than act like you love the guy
the whole time. And it bothers me. And I'm glad
to hear that from you, Rob. I'm glad that was
not just me. No, I caught it too. Okay. I was
like, really, Paul? Yeah, that's, yeah. Thank
you, Rob. That's exactly what I thought too.
I'm like, Paul. Shut up. After all this shit,
now you're mourning? I'm sorry, I don't believe
it. I don't either. It's fake as fuck. Yeah,
yeah, it's fake as fuck. Thank you, Rob. I agree
with that 100%. And also, I can go back to this.
I remember when Dio passed away in 2010. Ozzy
and Cam were supposedly devastated. And then
after Ozzy's passing, Sharon, his widow, got
on there and said that Ozzy tried stabbing Dio
with a fork when he first met him. And then Dio's
always talking about, you know, Ozzy's a clown,
I was the best thing that could happen to Sabbath
and all this stuff. Well, all that stuff did
happen. There was a feud there. And I'm getting
tired of him going, oh, we loved each other.
No, I don't believe that. So, all the lawsuits
and litigation, you know, yeah, I just, I don't
believe it. I have more stuff, but you know what,
Rob? We are 25 minutes deep, so we should probably
turn this over to you, okay? Okay, I'm going
to go to the other controversial rock artist.
Okay. Rock legends Guns N' Roses recently kicked
off Latin American tour. to the jungle, singer
Axl Rose was less than pleased, possibly with
the band's new drummer, Isaac Karpner, but more
likely over sound issues. So it could have been
either one. Well, go ahead and I've got something
to add to that because I read something after
that. So go ahead, please. I'll have to look
that up. Yeah. You know what I just read yesterday
was it was Slash saying that this Carpenter kid
was the best drummer they've ever worked with.
I think that's what it was because Slash just
got done praising the guy. And you've got to
remember, Guns N' Roses had Matt Sorum and Steven
Adler in it. Two very, very good drummers. Really
good drummers. So, yeah, I would say it's probably
that. I don't think there could be that big of
discrepancy within the artists of the band. Oh,
no, that's why I said that. I think you're right.
I think it was aimed at his drum kit. It was
something to kick, and it was a sound that was
bad. And that's why he would say, I think I'm
just going to have to wing this. It's because
the sound sounds so bad. He's just like, I'm
just going to have to do it and try to get to
it. Yeah, that's what it sounds like. Yeah, and
I mean, and also, Axl is not such an angry person
anymore. I mean, he wrote an open letter apology
to all the people he did wrong not too long ago.
Yeah, I think it was published in Billboard or
Rolling Stone or something. Yeah, something like
that. Yeah, yeah. So he is not the guy he used
to be. So I think that if he got angry, there
was probably a reason, like the sound. So, okay.
Thank you, Rob. Let's take our first break. And
then let's come back with some emails, okay?
All right? I know you're anxious for it. Oh,
yeah. All right. I am the mad shitter in Clayton,
Missouri. Well, okay. Like I said, this is a
long time ago. You know, I don't know. I was
in my mid -20s. I had sleep apnea, and I had
to wear a CPAP. And then I opted for the surgery.
So I got surgery, and then I went back to the
doctor. The doctor was good, you know. This was
before you could buy the CPAP machines. You had
to rent them. Oh, yeah. Okay. So it was very
expensive for me to keep it another day. And
the insurance told me, if you don't take it back
today, that we're going to start charging for
it. And then in some outrageous sums, I'm like,
okay, where do I take it back? And they said,
Clinton, Missouri. I'm like, what the fuck? And
I was like, well, you want to pay for it? No.
Okay. So here I was on my way to Clinton, Missouri,
you know, fucking tooling there in my little
Ford Ranger at the time. So I tool all the way
to Clinton, take the fucker back. And on the
way back, I'm like, you know, it's going to be
an hour before I can stop. There's no station.
So I pull in, get some gas. I'm like, eh, I need
a 7 -Up or something, you know. So I go into
the crapper there, and it was like both of these
walls, just alongside where the urinals were,
were covered in this, like, liquid shit. And
I since found out through a nurse, they said
they do it with a colostomy bag somehow. and
i i mean it's a gag i mean to me that's like
you kill someone over that so anyhow i'm sitting
there about ready to fucking gag it smells horrible
so horrible and uh and anyhow i'm dry heaving
and just pissing as hard as i can it's hurting
me and i'm pissing so hard that it's actually
hurting me i'm like and all of a sudden this
old man barges in i think he's the owner of the
store and he points at me and he goes i caught
him i caught him i I caught the mad shitter.
And I'm like, what? And I go, I just got in here,
sir. Meanwhile, I'm still trying to piss as fast
as I can. I'm still dry heaving. It's him. It's
him. I caught him. And I go, I just got in here.
How did I shit all over everything? My pants
are up. And he would not listen to me. So he
starts fucking harping at me behind me while
I'm leaving that place. Didn't wash my hands,
nothing. Pissed all over myself. Hey, I'm getting
the fuck out of there because I'm not the mad
shitter, and I don't want anything. I don't want
to be associated with it. So I'm, like, taking
off, and I'm leaving as fast as I can. I'm like,
I'm getting my fucking 7 -Up, damn it. I mean,
I'm thirsty. So I go over and get my 7 -Up, and
the old man's still behind me. It's him. It's
him. I've got the mad shitter. And I'm sitting
there just, I don't know what to say at this
point because he will not shut up. He will not
quit fucking chirping at me from behind me. So
I get up there, and I'm buying my 7 -Up. I look
the lady in the eyes. I go. I just walked in
there. I'm not the mad shitter. And she looks
at me and goes, sure you're not. I don't think
she believed me either. She thought I was the
mad shitter. Yeah, so I brought my seven up and
left in shame. Two douchebags and microphone
in an effort to keep everything fresh. We offer
you first world problems. My driver's license
picture makes me look older. I'm calling a lawyer.
Hey, good kid. No one gives an ounce of shit
what you had for breakfast. Not even the person
on the other end. You look like a mentally slow
driv yelling into thin air all through the store.
I pray that Bluetooth shorts you out and blows
up your eardrums. What men consider self -centered
dunce. Monty constantly coddled this dummy and
it fucking shows. Go the fuck home and bore your
dog. Wait, you probably forgot the thieving because
you're too busy looking in the mirror all day.
Fuck off. So you want proof that we love you
here at QD Spades and Microphone Central? Here's
a proof right here about the drink of the week.
How to make the famous Carnival Cruise Line Miami
Vice frozen drink. Two ounces Bacardi one, seven
ounces frozen pina colada mix, three ounces strawberry
daiquiri mix, half a hurricane glass of ice.
Blend it all together and serve with a slice
of pineapple and a maraschino cherry on top.
Bam, there you go. Miami Vice, Cardinal Style.
Tomorrow morning, while grinding your coffee
beans for your double mocha latte, remember to
not get your genitals caught in the grinder.
It really hurts. Who can afford plastic surgery?
Stay safe, everyone. I have a pet termite I call
Clint. Wow, no shit. How strange. Yeah, I call
it Clint Eats Wood. Next up, things overheard
in hell. John Wayne Gacy. is in charge of human
resources. Two douchebags and microphone on Mark
here in the Kansas City area at the Talk is Cheap
studio. Damn. And I am... Dude, what is up with
that coach? I don't know. He's... See, you got
your duck behaving. My duck's going nuts. He's
off the chain tonight, man. He's kind of acting
like the new guy, you know. He's kind of like
going nuts. Yeah. I don't know, man. I think
they're hanging out too much. I think so. I think
that he's pissed off because new guys always
pissed off. Yeah. Yeah, I think you're right.
New guy needs to get laid. You know, we need
to take up a collection. That's probably the
problem right there. I need to stop it. You're
right. Thank you, Rob. That's what it is. Yeah,
he's getting bad habits from you guys. Yeah,
you know, they played our show to laboratory
rats, and the rats got nice and killed each other.
It was crazy. Yeah. Yeah. We create violence,
I guess. Too bad. All right. We have some emails,
Rob. Are you ready to get to them? Yeah, you
do. Yeah, you do. Just go. I think I'm going
to have New Guy research that, and let's just
have New Guy answer whether it happened or not,
right? Because there's been some disagreements
whether that actually happened or not. You know,
Rob, look, he's just sitting over there scowling.
He might as well do something. Oh, he's pissed.
Okay, all right. Hey, New Guy, we're going to
turn this over to you. Did Ace really buy the
entire front row at Madison Square Garden and
have them heckle the rest of Kiss? Hello, this
is New Guy, and I guess these two idiots want
me to talk about whether Ace freely rented out
the first row at Madison Square Garden to heckle
his old band? Or not, so let me see this right
here. No, Ace Frehley did not buy the front row
in Madison Square Garden to heckle Paul Stanley
and Gene Simmons. This appears to be a rumor
or a misunderstanding. There is no credible news,
report, or official statement confirming such
an event. In fact, despite recent disagreements,
Frehley has stated that he still cares about
his Kiss bandmates despite their differences.
There you guys go. And hopefully these two fuckers
don't call on me again. I'm busy. Jeez, man.
What the hell is wrong with him, Rob? Well, we
were just giving him shit. I guess so. He's over
there scowling again. Oh, you just flipped me
off. I don't know what the hell. I gave him more
pencil shavings. Did we spoil him, maybe? Is
that it? Yeah, that's a lot of pencil shavings.
I know, I know. I mean... He's got to be happy.
I mean, I don't know. Yeah, he just left. All
right, let him go. All right. Next one. Mark,
I have an app for you to make all those cool
historic figures with AI. It's an app called
Grok. I use it all the time. Go take the free
three -day trial. Donald and Scottsdale. Actually,
I have a friend of mine, Oren, recommend that
to me. They don't mind doing Nikolai Tesla with
a bong. They don't mind doing Albert Einstein
with a joint. They don't mind doing stuff like
that. And if you go to chat GPT, it's like, oh,
we can't do that. That would be detrimental to
their memory. It's like, they don't fucking care.
And number two, no one else fucking cares. But
anyhow. So, yeah, thank you. I know about Croc
because a friend of mine at work. Thank you.
And I do have it downloaded. And I am doing some
interesting steampunk photos. And for some reason,
I want them all in steampunk. I don't know why.
So, all right. Rob, I have a Tony Iommi mug just
like you. I found it at a local record store
here in White Plains. The owner might get more
in. Frankie Boy in White Plains, New York. He's
talking about me. I have the Tony Iommi. Yeah,
you're the one with the Tony Iommi, but not me.
And you can get them online, and they're not
that expensive, so I hope you didn't pay too
much at that record store. White Plains, I love
that place. I worked there a couple of times.
I love that place. It's a neat community just
outside the New York Metroplex. It's a really
beautiful town. They have a square, a downtown
square there with fountains, and it's beautiful.
They play music there. When the weather's permitting,
they play the music there on the weekends free
of charge. Families go up there, have picnics.
It's really cool. And the Cambria Hotel there
is cooler than shit because you can sit out on
their balcony and smash yinlings and watch people
almost hit each other. It's fantastic. In cars.
George is LSM, not me. You're right. You're right.
Yep. Okay. And then, all right, in the next one,
douchebags, Roger Staubach or Terry Bradshaw.
Who was better? Oh, my God. Well, you know what?
I was going to do new guy, but you know what?
Screw it. Here's where I'm going to go. My vote
is for Bradshaw because he won two head -to -head
Super Bowls over Staubach. I keep trying to call
him Starbucks. I do it all the time. You know
what? No, no, no. Let's have the new guy give
the stats, okay? And he can give his opinion
on it. All right. Hey, new guy. Okay, well, before
you do that, my vote is Bradshaw. Mine, too.
So, new guy, let's hear the stats, and we'll
see if we, you know, you might change your mind.
So, that's the way we vote. So, all right, new
guy, take it away. Hello, this is a new guy,
and I am supposed to describe to you a little
bit of Bradshaw and Starbuck's career, I guess.
Now, I have to be nice because I'm on notice,
but here we go. Terry Bradshaw and Roger Starbuck
were two of the 1970s' most iconic quarterbacks
who faced each other in two Super Bowls, Super
Bowl X and XIII. Would Bradshaw win in both?
While Bradshaw won more Super Bowls four versus
two, he had more impressive career passing statistics.
Starbuck was considered more efficient during
his career and won a Heisman Trophy. Arguments
for either quarterback's career often depend
on whether one prioritizes Super Bowl wins or
individual performance metrics. So, uh, there
you guys go. I hope these guys are happy. Bye.
Jeez. Gosh. Damn, dude. You know what? We're
not going to need you to rest tonight, okay?
Just go. Yeah, you're done. Take your pencil
shavings and go. Yeah, those two. Yeah, those
in the corner, that over there, and that over
there. And get the fuck out of here. Jeez. Talk
to you later, buddy. Don't be nice to him. Jeez.
Hey, we might meet him again. Oh, yeah, yeah.
Hey, thanks a lot, new guy. We appreciate you.
If you need any more pencil shavings, let me
know. Okay, thanks. That's a good call, Rob.
I pray God Val lets him out the door. Oh, yeah,
she hates him. She hates him. She'll have the
door already open. Yeah, okay. She'll make sure
it's deadbolted on his way out. Yes, she knows
the protocol. As soon as he goes, deadbolt that.
He's not coming back in. Yep, yep. Rob, I dare
you to do a special tour of Lucas Oil Stadium
in Wheatland and post it. Maybe you guys could
be their official podcast. Ooh, I'd love that,
wouldn't you? I'm already thinking about it,
dude. I'm thinking about talking to them about
that. And they did not leave a name. Okay, well,
all right. He's already thinking about doing
it, so I'm... Oh, that wasn't Mitch? No. I'm
already thinking about that because the guy that
I work with, well, not a guy, a kid, it's our
HR's son. He races over there. Oh, nice. Oh,
nice. Dude, I wish I would have known that. Yeah.
Hell yeah. He's a good kid. Good kid. That's
cool. Knows his shit. That's good. Hell yeah.
And what does he... No, I will set up something.
I will. And maybe we could become their podcast.
That'd be great. All right. Let me get to know
people over there. You know what I mean? Yeah.
Yep. Yeah, it's going to take a bit, but yeah,
that's definitely going to be in the works, we
hope. So, all right. Thank you, whoever. You
didn't leave your name, so. All right, next one.
Rob, I'm jealous. Right next to a racetrack.
I will, I know, isn't this cool that you're already
getting all this pub about the racetrack? People
are all excited about it, so that's cool. Yeah.
Okay, Rob, I'm jealous. Next time, right next
to a racetrack, I will have to come visit you
next time I'm headed back home for a spell. Ronnie
and Tulsa. The. Tulsa King. Right on, Ronnie.
You will be more than welcome. There you go,
Ronnie. Your royalty. More than welcome. Thank
you for writing in, Ronnie. We love to hear from
you. Now, I won't be officially over there for
another month, but it's in the works. Ronnie
can't come back until after the first of the
year anyhow, so he used all his vacation. Oh,
great, great. Perfect timing, Ronnie. Remember
when he was traveling? When he was traveling
for a month, that was every inch of his vacation.
So he's not going anywhere for you. Yeah, I will
set you up, buddy. Yeah, he's got to go to the
next year to get his vacation back. All right.
Mitch, this is finally Mitch. One if by land,
two if by sea, don't run into the ditch just
because Rob has to pee. This is your clue. Mitch
at the southern tip of Lake Freeman laughing
at Rob's guessing. P .S. Your shoe smells funny
on fire. Don't run into a ditch because Rob has
to pee. P .S. Your shoe smells funny on fire.
Got any ideas? What's he referring to? You want
me to read it again? Okay. There is only like
one time I had a brand new pair of cowboy boots.
Okay. And I went out to a bonfire. You know where
Mullendike is? Yes. Yeah. That was in a field
down there in the back that we all used to have
bonfires at. Mm -hmm. And I had this brand new
pair of cow hair cowboy boots. So he did... This
is true. He remembers it. And I... This is getting
better, Rob. I don't know who it is. Now, what
about the ditch having to pee stuff? That could
have been any fucking night. True, true. I mean,
come on, Mark. I remember times doing that myself.
Yeah, we've done that so many times. I keep thinking
of Kirk. That's the only time back then I burned
shoes walking through a bonfire. And it was my
cowboy boots. Brand new pair. Ruined them. Mitch,
you got us good on that one. You got us good.
Mitch, I really want to know who you are, buddy.
I really want to know. That's got to be what
you're thinking of. He's going to dick with us
a while. I can tell right now he's going to have
fun with us. Speaking of, like, having to piss
in a ditch, do you remember one time, I think
you're with us, we were going on Holmes Road,
we were going back to Cleveland. We were probably
in Martin City, maybe at Justin Jim's partying
or something, or somewhere. Okay, we're coming
back, and Kirk, blonde -haired Kirk, he gets
out of his Monte Carlo to piss. Okay? And then
we lose him. We can't find him. He took the keys
with him. And the car's halfway out in the road.
Yeah. And we're like going, where the fuck did
Kirk go? We can't find him anywhere. And luckily,
nobody was coming along that road at like three
in the morning for a long time. But we finally
found him like, I don't know, shit, like a quarter
mile away, sleeping in a bunch of high brush.
Do what? I would have just started walking, but
number one, I was trashed. Number two, it was
three in the morning. Number four, I couldn't
leave his car there. He took the keys with him,
the asshole. I thought you'd remember that. I
always say, fuck his car. That's his old ball.
I know, I know, but you know what? Everybody
had to go on for it. Found him laying in the
fucking bushes. Awesome. I would have loved to
see. I would have felt horrible if that would
have gotten nailed. And the only other reason
is because, okay, we're all out fucking... Yeah,
but we're all... We're all out fucking around
drunk, okay? And then imagine if someone popped
that hill there and smashed into that car and
killed them. That's what I was thinking of. Yeah,
yeah, yeah. Well, I think I thought about that
then, and that's the only reason I was like,
we've got to get this car off of the road. So,
anyhow. And I have a featured email here, Rob,
and I want your opinion on this, too. I really
like this email, and it needed to be a standout
because I really like what this guy said. And
it's what we want to do. All right, it says,
I have wanted to drop you a line for a while
now. I listen to numerous podcasts all over.
I travel for a living. I listen to many national
shows, too. I wanted to give you guys a huge
compliment. I base shows I listen to on this,
and so do I. How long do the subjects capture
my interest? I have an example. The other day,
I received a phone call when my girlfriend asked
me what I was listening to. I gave the name,
and then she asked what they were talking about,
and I drew a blank. The reason I could not remember
was because the show was not that entertaining,
so I tuned them out. Your podcast always has
me wanting more show. I wish the show would last
three or four hours instead of one hour. I get
bummed when I hear Mark ask Rob if he wants to
continue or stop. This is my highest compliment
to a show I could give. Thank you guys so much,
and above all, thanks for just being real guys.
No fake, no smoke show, just quality banter.
Rossington Gardner in Topeka. Ross. Thank you,
Ross. That... But that made me feel great. Honestly,
Ross, I wish we could give you more, but we're
working stiff, too. Yeah, yeah. You know? Yep.
So, and then every bit of my spare time is usually
doing something, like I said the other day. Yeah,
yeah, we tried to. Yep, and then when Topher
and I get back at it, then you've got another
couple of podcasts and just writing things and
stuff and doing the little gimmick stuff. I can
imagine your end. My end was busy. Yeah. Your
end, yeah, doing all of them. Yeah. Yeah, well,
and I'm not bitching or nothing. I love doing
this and everything. It's just the fact that
we don't have enough time, and that's the problem.
So, but, I mean, I wish this was our main thing.
I wish this is all we had to do. My gosh, man,
we'd have a blast, wouldn't we? Yeah, I'd love
to be retired in this. Yeah, it'd be fantastic.
And we probably will be retired eventually doing
this. I hope so. It'll be 300 years from now,
but yes. So, that's how long it's going to take
Rob and I to retire. Because, you know, yeah,
the government squandered our social security.
Okay. All right. Anyhow, that's it. So, Rob,
what do you got? Okay. 32 years 32 years ok what
a story ok next up Okay. Which spelled out the
exact date of his death. Ooh. May 17, 1932. Okay.
Wow. And he died May 17th, 1932. Wow. Yeah, that's
crazy. Um, coincidence? Wow. Maybe. It had to
be. Yeah. Okay. Wow. Thank you, Rob. Sounds good.
Yeah, stabbing the back. Okay, my bag's worn
out. Oh, hang on. Are you getting it out of there?
Okay. There you go. All right. Hello? Yeah, I'm
here. Okay. The goat is just really, really crazy
tonight, isn't he? I think he got the green patch
out back that someone allegedly might have started
growing. I think he'd been chewing up on that
a little bit. You know, the green stuff with
the seven leaves. Yeah, I think. Yep. Oh, I think
that's where the new guy went. Oh, okay. He's
already pissy enough. I mean, I don't know, man.
Maybe him chewing on some of those leaves might
make him feel better. All right, Rob, did you
find it? Yeah, I did. All righty. Okay. Okay.
In 2013, a Belgian woman named Sabine Moreau
became an unlikely viral story after a GPS sent
her 900 miles off course. Wow. She was supposed
to drive from her hometown Babelsnatch, Brussels.
Yeah. A short trip about 90 miles. But a GPS
error led her across five countries all the way
to Stagrid, Croatia. Croatia? Wow. Two days later.
Okay. Two days later. Oh, shit. Maybe I'm going
the wrong way. Mama's only going an hour and
a half. Oh, wow. I don't know. There must have
been some really cool fucking songs on the radio
or something. Thank you, Rob. Fucking cool. 900
miles. Wow. Oh, wow. Well, should we take our
second break extremely late, but better late
than never, and come back with a Crum Olympics
Part 2? Yeah, sounds good. All right. We'll be
right back. Two douchebags and microphone. I'm
Mark here in the Kansas City vicinity at the
Talk is Cheap studio. He was out there chewing
on those leaves. I think that's what got him.
I think he's a little bit, you know, might be
a little lightheaded, wink, wink, nudge, nudge,
right? Well, yeah, there was a lot of rain yesterday.
Oh, there wasn't here, but yeah, I heard. I heard
you guys got some rain. Oh, no, that was Saturday.
Oh, Saturday, okay. Yeah, I don't think it's
ever going to rain here again. I think it's done.
It's never going to rain again. Yeah, I think
so too. I've got some crumb Olympics part two.
The winners, we went ahead and took the liberty
of putting them off some other crumbs, okay?
So this is the crumbs. The crumbs of whatever
dessert you're eating or pizza or whatever. The
crumbs that taste better. than the actual product
right there's a lot of crumbs that taste better
than the actual product so these things are based
on the crumbs and how they taste only like if
you have an apple pie we're not talking about
the apple pie we're talking about the apple pie
crumbs and we're putting them against each other
so the first one was the uh the reigning champ
chocolate chip crumbs versus peanut butter and
cheese cracker crumbs Any thoughts? I'm going
to say chocolate chip. Me too. I love peanut
butter and cheese crackers, but chocolate chips.
You got those chocolate chunks. Yeah, I agree.
Yeah, and it's just crackers. I'm with you, man.
Chocolate chip crumbs are the best. I mean, you
get little pieces of chocolate in there. You
get cookie crumbs. Yeah. Yep. It's like a little
celebration in your mouth, right? Yep. Yep. All
right. Next one. Lemon cake, the reigning champ
versus cherry pie, the contender. I don't know
about contender. I don't know. Something like
that. Yeah. Lemon cake. Lemon cake. Yeah. Because
cherry pie, you very rarely get cherries with
the crumbs. All right. I don't like cherries
anyway, so. Oh, I love cherries, but still. Yeah,
so I want lemon. All right. Raspberry zinger
crumbs versus pecan pie crumbs. You do get some
pecans in that delicious pecans in the crumbs
of a pecan pie. Yeah. But raspberry zinger crumbs
are great with the coconut and the raspberry
flavor and a little bit of a... So you got the
raspberry flavor in the dough. Yes. So I'm going
to stick with the reigning champ. As much as
I hate you. I'm going to stick with the... It's
got to go with raspberry. I'm going to... Yeah,
I'm going to go with the reigning champ as well,
Rob. So... Oh, hang on. Even though I would prefer
pecan pie. Me too. on this one. No, I would prefer
it as like the whole. I would take pecan pie
any time. Yeah. Actually, I have one in the kitchen.
Okay. Pecan pies are good. Sorry, I had to mark
this off. Okay, the Raining Champ Stromboli versus
Guy's Sour Cream and Chive Potato Chip Crumbs.
I'm going to go with the Guy's sour cream and
chive potato chip crumbs because Stromboli, you're
going to be lucky to get a little, you know,
lucky if you get any pepperoni or salami or cheese
or anything in the crumbs. So my thoughts is
that Guy's sour cream and chive potato chips.
It's got almond crumbs. Yeah. What do you think?
I got to give it to Guy. Okay, and the reason
I said Guy's is because Guy's is the best sour
cream and chive potato chips ever made. And anybody
that grew up around here knows it because the
Guy's factory was in Liberty. And I grew up eating
them. Yeah, they were the best. All right, next
one. Sausage, salami, and cheese calzone versus
Chicago -style pizza crumbs. I'm going to go
with the calzone. Yep. All right. And especially
a sausage, salami, and cheese calzone. That sounds
like heaven to me. What do you think? Yeah, it
would all mix with that sauce, and it would soak
in. Yeah. Yep. This next one is a little rough.
I'm not sure which way to go, so I'm going to
get your opinion on it first. Frito? lays dip
-style corn chips, the thick ones, you know,
that are curved for dips, versus shepherd pie
crumbs, the reigning champ. Any thoughts? I think
I'm going to stick with the shepherd's pie. Okay.
I was half and half, so I'm going to go with
your recommendation. Oh, and it's fucking delicious.
All right, Shepherd's Pie it is. You didn't have
to twist my arm. I'm there. Oh, speaking of pie,
when we're in Eureka Springs, we've got to get
the Huckleberry Pie at the Balcony Restaurant.
Have you ever had the Huckleberry Pie at all?
Oh, you've had Huckleberry Pie? Okay. Okay, yeah,
they're very good. All right, banana bread versus
strawberry tart crumbs. I'm going to go with
banana bread because strawberry tart crumbs,
I don't think you get very much strawberry in
there, do you? Not really. I mean, even in the
bread, you taste the banana. Yes, so I'm going
to have to go with banana bread. You're on board,
too? Yeah. Okay, strawberry tart crumbs, you're
gone. Banana bread has dethroned them, so good
for them. Spinach quiche versus cinnamon bun
crumbs. I'm going to go with cinnamon bun. Yeah,
all right. They have defeated the reigning champ,
spinach quiche. Quiche. Quiche, not quiche. Cinnamon
or egg. Come on. Yeah. Cinnamon bun. One of the
greatest things ever invented. Oh, yeah. Yeah,
yeah. Some of it's going to be on the crumbs.
Yeah, yep. So, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, definitely cinnamon.
Or cinnamon. Or cinnamon will work. A cinnamon
bun, whatever. All right. Yeah. Reuben sandwich
crumbs versus beef beret taco crumbs. I'm going
to go with beret taco crumbs because you're almost
guaranteed to get ground beef with those crumbs.
Oh, yes. Yes. Yes. Where Reuben crumb, you get
a little... I don't know, sauerkraut, a little
Thousand Island dressing, a little bread. No,
not interested in that. All right. Well, Beef
Berea, the reigning champs, are staying. All
right. And finally, onion rings versus chicken
pot pie, the reigning champ, crumbs. I'm going
to go with onion rings. No, you know what? No,
no, no. No, let me think about that. Now, onion
rings crumbs, they taste like onion, don't they?
Because they're deep fried? Yeah. I'm going to
give it to onion rings. I think I'm going to
give it to onion rings, too. All right. Because
the onion soaks into it. Yeah. Yeah, it tastes
like delicious little onion rings. Only it's
just in crumb form. So, all right, cool. Okay,
now they will take on some contenders coming
up in a podcast or two. So the Crumb Olympics
moves on. So, Rob, we go to you. All right. I
think you're going to like this one. Okay. This
is about your buddy Mark Ruffalo. Oh, okay. Wasn't
he in the hairy asshole Olympics? Yeah. Yep.
Okay. It was Mark Ruffalo to the rescue when
Worry Harrelson got into a bar fight in New Orleans.
During the news appearance on Ted Dance's podcast,
Everybody Knows Your Name, Ruffalo told the story
of how he helped Harrison escape a brawl at a
bar in New Orleans while they were filming Now
You See Me in 2013. We were shooting Now You
See Me in New Orleans. the streets. Totally wild,
Ruffalo says in the podcast, according to Entertainment
Weekly. Capturing stuff on a long lens, getting
dragged into bars during the middle scene, like
in the middle of Mardi Gras, Ruffalo says he
and Harrelson decided to go to a packed bar after
they had finished filming for the day. Rumpel
says Harrelson's first instinct was to immediately
punch them in the face. Which is the right thing
to do, by the way. Ruffalo and Harrelson soon
will be begin filming Now You See Me Now You
Don't the third film in the series stars Dave
Franco Aisha Fisher and Jesse Eisenberg also
return to their roles as part of the four wars
nice Take Woody Harrelson to a bar, you know
he's going to get into a fight. Yeah, I could
see that too. Nice. Especially 2013 years ago.
Yeah, I could see it. Yep. Okay, Rob, do you
want to keep going a little bit longer? It's
9 -16. You're the one that's got to get up early.
I'm going on vacation tomorrow. It's going to
be mine, brother. Okay, you got it. Ohio State
Representative Thaddeus Claggett of Licking County
introduced a bill in the state house in late
September that would declare AI systems non -sentient
entities and ban them from gaining legal personhood.
Remember what I was talking about? Yes. Someone's
addressing this finally. WCMAH -TV reported that
the bill seeks to prohibit people or other AI
systems from marrying AI. Claggett said the legislation
would prevent AI from holding power of attorney
or making decisions on another's behalf, which
is another thing that we're talking about. He
said Ohio is attempting to put some guardrails
in place so that we always have a human in charge
of the technology, not the other way around.
Man, you know what? I'm happy to see some of
this AI threat coming. I know they help us out,
but it's also a threat. I'm glad to see some
of this being some proactiveness going on because
this could turn... It already has turned ugly.
And it's going to get worse, too. So I'm glad
that someone had a little bit of common sense
here and laid that down. You think so? Yeah.
It needs to happen. Yeah. So... Yeah. Yeah, I
agree. I agree. So... Let's see. Okay. You know
what? Let's just end it there. You have to get
up early in the morning. All I got to do is throw
a couple things in my duffel bag and fucking
throw it in the car. I'm just going to buy beer
down there. I'm not going to take any with me
this time. It's too hard to lug. Yeah. Yep. Easier
to just go buy it there. So, all right. Hi, Albuquerque.
Hi, Hicksville. Hi, Grandma Opal. Hi, Jimmy.
Hi, Ricky. Thank you, everybody, for listening.
Our numbers are outstanding. We can't thank you
enough. We love doing this, obviously. Good night,
assholes. Except Mitch. No, I love Mitch. I hope
he keeps writing in. I don't care if he gives
me shit. I love the guy. He's fucking funny.
And now he's got you with one, too. He's got
you with one, doesn't he? Yeah, he does. Yeah,
he does. Yep. I think so. Because there was another
night I forgot about. Yeah. And then the ditch
thing, like you said, that's all of us. I mean,
I just brought up the Kirk one where he fucking
got lost a quarter mile away somehow. Yeah, yeah.
So, yeah, we've all had that. Well, there was
that time he took his farm in my car and his
family's farm. I remember that. He didn't say
a word. He just started farming it. And you're
like, hey, hey. No, he asked me if he could.
Did he ask? Oh, okay. I didn't remember that.
If he would have told me it was his family. I'd
say, fuck no. You know what? No, no, no. He didn't
ask with John, and John got pissed. Oh, yeah.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that was John
I was thinking of. He asked you. I think so.
He used to farm that ditch all the time. Right
onto Iowa. Yeah. I used to tell him, I go, one
of these days they're going to be out there waiting
with guns. Yep. Same place. Yeah, yeah, same
place. And me, I never let him drive my car.
I've seen what he did to other people's cars.
He'd fucking bring them back with Denson. That
was the one and only time I let him drive. Okay.
And I gave him permission. He had that one kid,
Brian. Not the Brian you're thinking of. Right,
right, right, right. But he lived south of town
there a little ways out in the country. He had
Brian's car. They say he's just going to run
up to the station real quick. Instead, he takes
it for a fucking ride. And he comes back and
has two big dents. And he goes, a couple of deer
ran out and hit me. Sorry, Bob. Threw him the
fucking keys and left. I'm like, oh my gosh.
Fucking Brian was ready to cry. He was ballsy,
man. He was. Yes, he was. All right. And he was
big. Who the fuck was going to argue with him?
No, I know. He whooped your ass. Oh, yeah, I
know. No, I agree. People just kind of like,
okay, that sucks, but all right, well, since
you're bigger than me and I don't want you kicking
my ass. You're big. You're fucking crazy. Yeah,
right? Well, that was the cap it was. Not only
was he big, but he was legitimately insane. And
we had a Jeffy X list, but we'll get to it Wednesday
night. That sounds good. All right. And also,
I think I have some ass paddling somewhere. I've
got to find what I did with them. So we've got
all kinds of great stuff. Anyhow, good night,
assholes. Good night, assholes. And now, Deep
Thoughts with Mark. Should I record frog sounds
in the summer? then play them when it's zero
degrees on my ring doorbell for the Amazon guy?
Yeah, that sounds like fun. Our constant pursuit
for a real knee slapper. It's strange insults
from an alien. Real hilarity. Why don't you shock
me and say something intelligent? You watched
the news. It looks grim. Is an apocalypse inevitable?
We suggest you download all our podcasts beforehand
and have multiple mobile chargers. We have the
post -apocalypse. Morse code is an essential
must -know post -apocalypse. Go to a library
or look it up online. Learn Morse code. This
code could save your life. Many survivalists
have learned Norse code to alert other dwellers
of possible danger or where there could be clean
water or their whereabouts. Oh man, what the
fuck is this? Is this a new feature? What's inside
Mark's head? Sounds stupid to me. Mmm, stromboli
is so delicious. I love stromboli. I wonder if
it loves me back. I bet you it does. Stromboli
is so tasty. It's like a giant pizza roll with
more flavor. It's the ultimate food. Mmm, stromboli.
We need stromboli cereal. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's
it. Stromboli cereal. Mmm, stromboli flakes.
Mmm. My mechanic told me I couldn't repair your
brakes, so I made you a horn ladder. Good job.
Ms. Gulkenstein was tired of Mark and Toe for
making sport of her. Little did the douchebags
know Ms. Gulkenstein was a voodoo high priestess
when she was younger. She grew angry and cast
a spell on Rob, changing Rob into a capuchin
monkey. Mark took Rob to a local zoo so he could
be with the other monkeys. here are the adventures
of rob the capuchin monkey shh be very quiet
we're gonna listen in as rob the capuchin monkey
tries to sell the rest of the capuchin monkeys
amway rob has always dreamed of becoming a diamond
status amway as a capuchin monkey Little did
our hero Rob know. All the great apes owned stock
in Sam's Club and became violently pissed off
when he tried to infringe on their territory.
They promptly grabbed switches and beat his ass
for three days straight. Rob could not sit down.
Hey there, slap nuts. It's time for the Creeps
Music News. Hey, my little pumpkin seeds. This
is Johnny Rohypnol with your music news. Legendary
guitarist, vocalist, songwriter, and the coolest
character ever, the Spaceman. Ace Frehley has
sadly passed away after a fall he sustained in
his home studio. He was on life support and never
recovered. He was 74 years old. Another legend
gone. Kiss retired, so we don't have to worry
about blasphemy as someone else using this character.
R .I .P. Ace. You were one of a kind. This is
Johnny Rohypnol. That was your music news, and
remember... Bar courts are bullshit. Hi, y 'all.
This is Chicago. I am the most dangerous city
in North America. You can't touch me. Oh, yeah?
This is Kansas City here. Hold my beer, bitch.
Jam X. What the hell happened? change. You never
wanted to be one of them. Apathy spoke for you.
Fuck the man. Fuck the system. What the hell
happened? The generation of angst? The generation
of non -compliance? Is now buying a boat? You're
really fed up to kill someone who dangled a dollar
near you? Great job, Xers. Everything's ruined.