Good evening, everybody. This is the Mystery
Sports Guy, and I am here with you this evening
to talk sports, specifically the NFL. Who cares
about anything else? Let's start off with the
Eagles laying their mother dead on the field.
As good as the Eagles look coming off this season
opener is as bad as they look now. Hurts isn't
making those key completions like he was most
of last year. And the Giants' Scadaboo outplayed
Shaquan Barkley with three touchdowns and 98
yards on the ground versus Barkley's 67 yards
and zero touchdowns. Is Jackson Dart for real?
He looks really promising. Only time will tell.
All the other teams will get film on him, and
we'll see how they respond to that. But right
now, Jackson Dart looks fantastic. Let's move
on to the Broncos. Broncos' defense saves them
again. Bo Nix is looking like a legitimate game
manager. That in tandem with a strong D -line
and a defensive backfield will keep Denver in
most games, but will it be enough come playoff
time? Barely beating the Jets 13 -11 isn't exactly
bragging rights. They have a lot of work to do.
They might make the playoffs, but then after
that, they might just stall right there. Seahawks.
They look great. Sam Darnold is playing at a
high level again, but will this death -by -paper
-cut parlay into wins come January? My guess
is another early exit for Darnold and company.
This was an impressive win against the then 4
-1 Jags team. The Jags team that beat the Chiefs
on the last -minute touchdown while Chris Jones
was scratching himself? Jags need better consistency.
Seattle will win. Could win easily in a dot fight
with the rest of the division, but that division
is the best in football, or at least looks like
it right now. With San Francisco and the Los
Angeles Rams in that same division, Seattle's
going to have a tough time winning it, but they
can. They seem to have solid defense and pretty
good quarterback play. We'll see when they go
up against the big boys. Chargers continue their
slide into mediocrity. The anointed one, Justin
Herbert. Shows once again why he's never in the
mention as a top -tier quarterback at the end
of the year. His play is spotty and erratic.
With that type of sluggishness, he'll never snip
the promised land. Miami, they can't buy a win
with Fort Knox at his disposal. Miami might just
try for a number one draft seed. And may you
get a real quarterback this time? Pego Viola,
he needs to retire. With what sense he has left.
My big boss at work, he's a Rams fan, and he
said it best. They can't seem to convert drives
in two touchdowns. Play Cohen and possible mental
blocks might be key issues. A lot of teams kind
of suffer somewhat of an identity crisis and
need to get through it by coming up with simple
plays and execute them with perfection before
they go to gadget plays and so forth. Fundamentals
are the key to progressing forward. Ravens are
wasted again. Johnny and company are looking
at Bora Bora in January. Lamar is injured again.
They claim he's coming back after the bye week
this week. Oh, no, I wouldn't bet on it. Well,
the Cowboys, what can you say about the Cowboys?
They stunk it up really good on the field. Brian
Schottheimer, he finally gets a shot at the big
seat. He needs to coach his team up to be much
better than what we saw against the Panthers.
Bryce Young is still battling. He looks great
at times, and he doesn't look great at times.
He looks horrible at times, just like Dak Prescott.
How about they both have multiple holes in their
game? Yep, good luck, Brian. You're going to
need it with that quarterback in that team. I
called it first the Patriots would challenge
for the division. Drake May has shown some mad
skills and ability. Come from high drives, crazy
counted throws, and a reasonable football mind
on the opposing defenses. I know the Saints aren't
that good, but the Pats have beaten Buffalo already.
I'm in their corner, or at least a runner up.
Just because Buffalo's easy schedule. The Pats
may not get it. If Buffalo had a schedule like
KC does, they would have a goose egg so far this
season. And we all know it. Anyone that doesn't
admit it is a fool or just doesn't want to know
the truth. Steelers, they are partying currently.
A -Rodge is efficient and tidy. The defense is
good. This will be a playoff team most likely.
The combination of easier schedule, Rodgers'
veteran approach, Tomlin's coaching, and the
Browns are not that good. The Browns need to
hold out for that one guy. They had him, but
kicked him to the Kurds, and now he's an MVP
candidate with the Bucs, as in Baker Mayfield.
Steelers will probably be stopped. Well, sure,
they have seen championship game this year. But
here's for them showing up, at least. Titans
and Raiders. That was a battle of suck. No reason
to even go into that one at all. Like I said
earlier, the Bucks have the number one MVP candidate,
as in their quarterback one. Mayfield has numerous
walk -offs this season already and statistically
having a monster year. The 49ers are a solid
team, but Mac Jones showed he is not the answer
long -term. Purdy got a huge contract for not
playing much. I'd love to see a college and Super
Bowl rematch between Texas Texma Holmes versus
Oklahoma's Mayfield. We may get it. It looks
possible. The Bucks just might be the team to
beat in NFC. Still a long season, but the Eagles'
shine wore off rather quickly. Now on to the
Bengals. The Bengals got smacked around by the
Pack. Lord, my heart. Jamore Chase is an idiot,
and fuck the Bengals. They traded for Flacco
and got the same outcome as if Browning was still
starting. I'm happy with that. The Packers look
good, but also look quirky and out of sync at
times. Packers are a playoff team, but will they
have to improve to take the show to Levi's Stadium?
Probably so. They're going to have to get much
better. Otherwise, they will stop somewhere in
the middle. The Chiefs are silently getting on
track with offense and defense. I'm sure they're
looking at all the idiots going bumping and blathering
all down the microphone. Time to shut those Guattards
down. The skip -tar ballists and such. Mahomes
is flat partying and is getting Oshie Rice back
this Sunday. The Lions, on the other hand, are
a dirt -light hitting team. Sure seems like Danny
Campbell might be instructing his team to try
and knock out players they will lose to. Allegedly,
in my opinion, Mr. Campbell, you and your weak
-ass sissy bitch team failed. No Super Bowl for
you. Jalen Moore, you offseasoned in addition
to the offensive line. Allowed zero sacks and
one pressure. Not too shabby. Think bad Falcons?
Would Michael Penix Jr. beat the Bills solid?
Allen threw an intersection and looked horrible.
The anointed ones, the Bills, laid a second loss
in a row down and are now rolling into the shit
they created. The Patriots might just challenge
the Bills for the division championship, like
I mentioned before. Remember, I'm the first one
to call it. Bills have a fluff schedule and still
lost two in a row. The media... Can quit jerking
off to Allen's photo and realize his team isn't
as good as I would love it to be. Atlanta is
quietly looking much better. Still a rebuild,
but it's working so far. The commanders, they
are slipping. You lose to the Bears at home,
that is ridiculous. Jayden Daniels looked good,
but is starting to show some holds. The Bears,
nah. They just got a team not paying attention,
I would guess. The Bears are doomed to another
year of sucky high -round quarterback play and
dismal play on the field. This has been the Mystery
Guy, and that has been your analysis of the NFL
last week. And now, let's go on to this week's
picks. Starting off Thursday night, 7 -15 Central.
Steelers versus the Bengals. The Bengals are
at home. Steelers 4 -1, Bengals 2 -4. Flacco
might have a decent game. He might be getting
warmed back up, but still. Bengals are going
to lose. We're going to go to 2 -5, and their
season is in dire jeopardy. Again. Rams or Jaguars?
This is going to be a tough one because it's
at Jags. Jags have been really, really tough,
and Rams have been having a tough time getting
in the end zone. I'm still going to pick the
Rams. I think they're going to pull it out. The
Jaguars were looking great, but I think they're
going to start showing some tarnish. Raiders
at Chiefs. I'm going to have to go with the Chiefs
because I think the Raiders are going to do what
they always do and play the Chiefs hard. They
are a division rival. Panthers at Jets? Eh, who
cares? Dolphins at Browns? Eh, who cares? How
about Eagles versus Vikings? Eagles are going
to get back on the win column. Vikings have nothing
to offer, pretty much. Giants at Broncos. Broncos
should win this because it's at home, but no
other reason. The way the Giants are playing,
and the way Jackson Dart is playing, I could
see them doing it anyhow. Colts versus the Chargers.
The Chargers are going to go home with another
elf. Chargers are just not playing well and Colts
are playing out of their head. I think the momentum
continues. Packers versus Cardinals. Pack's going
to win, but it's not going to be easy. The Cardinals
are putting up fights this year and they're not
a bad team. How about Commanders versus Cowboys?
I think the Commanders are going to be snapping
mad after losing last minute and in the fumble
to the Bears. And they're going to beat up on
the Cowboys because of it. The Falcons, who just
had a huge win against the Bills, I think they
continue their reign and they beat the 49ers
at the 49ers Levi's Stadium. Buccaneers at Lions.
Sorry Lions, you're going down again. Texas versus
Seahawks. Seahawks are going to win this and
it's going to be a dogfight. Vikings. See you
next time, bitches.