WEBVTT

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Welcome again. We're happy you chose us. Come

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on in. Wash yourself off. Would you enjoy a bourbon

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and coke? There's a liquor store down the road.

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If you go, I need rolling papers. Well, since

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you're here, let's get this daily douchebag pledge

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out of the way. All right, bitches, swing your

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hips and pelvic thrust. Shout it out with me.

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I, Joe or Jane Listener, promise to download

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every podcast. I, Joe or Jane Listener, promise

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to make... All friends, family members, and workmates

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download the show. I, Joe or Jane Listener, promise

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to grab idle computers, work computers, friends

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computers, community computers, and other assorted

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phones and listening devices and download the

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show from there. I, Joe or Jane Listener, will

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download the show and constantly barrage everyone

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with show name and platforms. I, Joe or Jane

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Listener, promise to wear a chicken costume and

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screen the show's name from my front yard. And

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finally, because of our 13 -year -old boy humor,

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you must go to Knobloch Cooter Licking in Uranus,

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Missouri to take selfies with the signs. If you

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go to Uranus, go to the fudge factory. Yes, there's

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a fudge factory in Uranus. No joke. Here at Two

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Douchebags and a Microphone, we don't stand behind

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our journalistic integrity. Go ahead and assume

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we got the story wrong. At least we admit it.

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Not like all those other guys. We can and will

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lie if it makes the story better. And now, Deep

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Thoughts with Mark. So, if I have a glass of

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ice water... And the ice melts into the water.

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Is my water then watered down? Hmm. I may never

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know. Tomorrow morning, while grinding your coffee

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beans for your double mocha latte, remember to

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not get your genitals caught in the grinder.

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It really hurts. And who can afford plastic surgery?

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Stay safe, everyone. Miss Gulkenstein was tired

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of Mark and Toe for making sport of her. Little

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did the douchebags know, Miss Gulkenstein was

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a voodoo high priestess when she was younger.

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She grew angry and cast a spell on Rob, changing

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Rob into a capuchin monkey. Mark took Rob to

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a local zoo so he could be with the other monkeys.

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Here are the adventures of Rob, the capuchin

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monkey. Shh, be very quiet. We're going to listen

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in as Rob the Capuchin Monkey tries to sell the

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rest of the Capuchin Monkey's Amway. Rob has

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always dreamed of becoming a Diamond Status Amway

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as a Capuchin Monkey. Little did our hero Rob

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know. All the great apes owned stock in Sam's

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Club and became violently pissed off when he

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tried to infringe on their territory. They promptly

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grabbed switches and beat his ass for three days

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straight. Rob could not sit down. Have you ever

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wondered what something is or not? Have you ever

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looked at something and said, I wonder what the

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origin of that is? Well, so have we. That's why

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we give you The Origin of... The Origin of Nehi.

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Soft drinks. Claude Hatcher overheard a route

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salesman enter the plant one day and describe

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the competitor's tall bottle as being knee -high.

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Knee -high originated with the Cherro Cola Company

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in Columbus, Georgia by Claude A. Hatcher in

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1912. Hey everybody, this is Uncle Rob. I'm going

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to give you some tips for life. This is Uncle

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Rob's rules to dick pics. Rule number one, type

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of a pic in someone else's name so if you get

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busted, it's not yours. Rule number two, shoot

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angles complementary to your length and girth.

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This is Phineas J. Valtaris III. I'm here to

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deliver your music news this evening. Tesla bassist

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and founding member Brian Wheat has teamed up

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with original Tesla guitarist Tommy Scoach in

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a new band called Terminal. Joining the duo in

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the new group are former Wasp guitarist Chris

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Holmes and original Saliva singer Josie Scott.

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They plan on putting an album out later on this

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year or early next year. This is Phineas J. Baltar

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S. III. That has been your music news for this

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evening. I have one burning question for you

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all. Do people really skip around the Maypole?

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Two douchebags and a microphone. I'm Mark here

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in the Kansas City area at the Talk is Cheap

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studio. Oh, now I know why you're waiting. We

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have to go. We have to go. Well, like I said,

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I had a very hectic time getting home and all

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that because my Jeep decided not to start this

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morning. Yeah. And I think it's the battery.

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Got a battery, came back here, got it barely

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put in, and here I am. And that's the other thing,

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too, was I was battling dark. You know, it was

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getting dark so early now. So, anyhow, hopefully

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that is it. I certainly hope so, and hopefully

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I don't have to worry about that bullshit anymore.

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So, anyhow. We'll blame it. The goat was just

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napping. That's it. The goat was napping. You're

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right. Yeah. Little bastard. Yeah. Yep. So, anyhow,

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let's see. Let me go on here. Okay, I did. Okay,

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that is the emails. Good, good, good. I'm a little

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disorganized because I got to this a little bit

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late, like I said, you know. Yeah, I had the

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whole family here a while ago. It's been hectic

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for a while. And I'm like, come on, guys. I told

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everybody, this is a podcast night. Nope, that's

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a night they bombarded me. Yeah, every other

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night you got me. Tonight, leave me the fuck

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alone. You got stuff to do. Yeah, I don't see

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them talk to them any other night than podcast

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night. Yep. Anyhow, so I watched No Escape for

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Now, the Ozzy Osbourne documentary on Paramount+.

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I was floored. I was floored by the courage it

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took Ozzy to go. I knew he was ill, but he was

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much more sick than I ever thought. Yes, yes.

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Yeah, and it took a hell of a lot for him to

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do that. He was in enormous pain and had demand

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in physical therapy. just to get to sing Sitting

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Down. I love one of the stories that Sharon came

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off with right at the time. Did you know that

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Ozzy tried to stab Ronnie James Dio the first

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time he met him at the Rainbow Bar and Grill?

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No, I didn't. Yes. Yeah, he tried to stab him.

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I can believe it. I can believe it. Yeah, I thought

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there was no bad blood there, but everyone's

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saying, oh, that was overblown. Sharon herself

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said Ozzy tried to stab him. So I think there's

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bad blood there. I'm pretty sure there's bad

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blood there. So, I mean, you know. No, no, that

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was just a brilliant game. That was a love stab.

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Yeah, so. Anyhow, and I think it's with a fork.

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I don't think it's a knife, so. But anyhow, I

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think it's with a fork. See, Dio over there going,

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what the fuck? What was his catch? Guy's trying

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to stab me with a fork, man. I'm sorry, man.

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You got fired. I took your spot. I'm sorry. But

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anyhow, Billy Corgan of the Smashing Pumpkins

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really impressed me. His emotion and conviction

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about this music and how it changed his life

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as a youngster. He got very emotional. He was

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crying. I really enjoyed that. I've always liked

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Billy Corgan. He's never been like the atypical

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rock star. He's a very intelligent, down -to

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-earth guy. Listen to him talk. Listen, the stuff,

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the way he does things and everything, he's very

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reserved. I really, really enjoy him every time

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I see him. I think a lot of him. And I really

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appreciated the honesty. And also, when Billy

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Corgan said that, he brought me back. And I feel

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the exact same way. Like I said, in the Aussie

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Tribute Show, he had a few other bands, you know,

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that helped me through the awkward ass. adolescence

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days. You know, the Aussie tribute show that

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we did, I explained how, you know, it helped

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me through these weird adolescent days. You know,

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because when you're not a kid, you're not a teenager,

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you have some weird fucking days. You don't know

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what your purpose is. Nothing, you know. You're

00:10:47.639 --> 00:10:49.539
getting fucking boners for no reason. You're

00:10:49.539 --> 00:10:51.799
like, what the hell? You know, it's a very awkward

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stage, right? Yeah, hell. Well, me too, yeah.

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Why did this boner effect exist? Yes, yeah, it's

00:11:03.639 --> 00:11:06.659
really awkward time. And it's one of those times

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where you could go either way in life, right?

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Right. And so his music, there's other bands

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too, but he was always the mainstay. And the

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way Billy Corgan explained it was exactly how

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I felt about it. And his emotion, I really found...

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I really took me back. I was like, you know,

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I love that. He explained exactly how he felt.

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He wasn't afraid. He didn't care. He was showing

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vulnerability and he was fine with it. And like

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I said, I've always enjoyed him and I really

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like that. You know, like I said, I feel the

00:11:41.080 --> 00:11:44.940
same way because, you know, when I was adolescent

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days, I was being relentlessly bullied by those

00:11:48.419 --> 00:11:51.000
farm boy dirtbags down there in Cass County.

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Some of those little bitches listen and weep

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right now. You know, like the idiot that messaged

00:11:56.720 --> 00:11:58.639
me a while back. I think I told you about it,

00:11:58.659 --> 00:12:01.419
but I didn't put it on here, right? He messaged

00:12:01.419 --> 00:12:05.039
me trying to take jabs at me. And this guy, he

00:12:05.039 --> 00:12:09.539
has a propane grill as his profile picture. How

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fucking ugly do you have to be to have a fucking

00:12:14.080 --> 00:12:19.110
propane? grill as your picture, right? I mean,

00:12:19.129 --> 00:12:20.929
he never was a good looking guy. He's always,

00:12:20.970 --> 00:12:23.409
he looked like he was, I don't know, to me, he

00:12:23.409 --> 00:12:27.509
looked like a mongoloid. So, anyhow, you know,

00:12:27.529 --> 00:12:32.929
he's, you know, if you have to have like a propane

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grill, You know, imagine how your image has to

00:12:36.179 --> 00:12:38.039
look. You know, you got to be like, oh, I can't

00:12:38.039 --> 00:12:40.879
show myself. People go, oh, my God, look at him.

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He's always been as ugly as sin in a church pew.

00:12:43.559 --> 00:12:46.100
But I'm guessing the years weren't very favorable

00:12:46.100 --> 00:12:52.039
to him, you know. So, anyhow, you know, if that

00:12:52.039 --> 00:12:55.759
loser has a wife or a ladyboy or a romantic object

00:12:55.759 --> 00:12:58.620
such as a shoe or whatever, imagine what that

00:12:58.620 --> 00:13:02.379
looks like. Fried shit wouldn't begin to cover

00:13:02.379 --> 00:13:05.789
it, you know. But anyhow, you know, I took enough

00:13:05.789 --> 00:13:08.429
jabs back there. You know, the rest of it does

00:13:08.429 --> 00:13:10.809
not deserve. He didn't deserve that much time,

00:13:10.870 --> 00:13:13.169
actually. But while we're on the subject, you

00:13:13.169 --> 00:13:17.830
know, so I move on. Topher and I have been busy

00:13:17.830 --> 00:13:19.950
and unable to do a sports bastards and music

00:13:19.950 --> 00:13:22.649
creeps. So I've recorded a mystery sports guy

00:13:22.649 --> 00:13:26.210
in my spare time, which is which is almost none.

00:13:26.389 --> 00:13:29.330
But last night, because we didn't do the podcast,

00:13:29.529 --> 00:13:32.049
I got to do another mystery sports guy. So, Rob,

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I ask you. Do you like this guy or not, honestly?

00:13:37.399 --> 00:13:41.279
Yeah, I do. Okay. Which, by the way, guys, we're

00:13:41.279 --> 00:13:45.980
running a night late. I had some things I had

00:13:45.980 --> 00:13:48.360
to take care of, so it's Thursday night instead

00:13:48.360 --> 00:13:50.899
of Wednesday night. Yeah, which is no big deal.

00:13:50.960 --> 00:13:53.980
I mean, I usually don't get to post. That's why

00:13:53.980 --> 00:13:56.840
they're getting a day late. Okay. Because we're

00:13:56.840 --> 00:13:58.659
a day late. And that's why I went ahead and did

00:13:58.659 --> 00:14:03.559
the mystery sports guy last night. And I kind

00:14:03.559 --> 00:14:05.320
of like it. Thank you for doing that to take

00:14:05.320 --> 00:14:07.820
up the time. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it was no problem.

00:14:08.440 --> 00:14:10.899
And I'll probably, what I'm saying is here is

00:14:10.899 --> 00:14:12.779
I'm probably going to keep doing it even after

00:14:12.779 --> 00:14:16.019
Topher and I resume doing our Sports Bastards

00:14:16.019 --> 00:14:19.940
and Music Creeps because I think I like the idea

00:14:19.940 --> 00:14:22.720
of having a little small show there that analyzes

00:14:22.720 --> 00:14:24.679
the games because Topher and I go off on a little

00:14:24.679 --> 00:14:27.139
bit of everything. You know, we talk all kinds

00:14:27.139 --> 00:14:30.480
of shit. I know you do. Yeah, we don't necessarily

00:14:30.480 --> 00:14:33.700
ever analyze the game like we should. So this

00:14:33.700 --> 00:14:36.240
guy is telling the sports and kind of telling

00:14:36.240 --> 00:14:38.500
what he thought of it and how he thinks the teams

00:14:38.500 --> 00:14:40.960
are doing. So I kind of like it. I'm going to

00:14:40.960 --> 00:14:42.659
get a little bit more in -depth with it and try

00:14:42.659 --> 00:14:46.519
to make it maybe about 35, 40 minutes long. This

00:14:46.519 --> 00:14:49.179
last one I think I had about 20 minutes. So I'm

00:14:49.179 --> 00:14:53.399
going to keep building on it, and I hope everybody

00:14:53.399 --> 00:14:56.659
likes it. I've kind of got high hopes. And I

00:14:56.659 --> 00:14:59.730
asked you a question last night. And do you think

00:14:59.730 --> 00:15:01.549
it's stupid or do you like it? Because I got

00:15:01.549 --> 00:15:04.789
a list. The Crumb Olympics. And this is Crumb.

00:15:04.789 --> 00:15:08.429
I love it. Okay. I love it. I thought about it

00:15:08.429 --> 00:15:11.629
all day. I love it. I have not had a bad thought

00:15:11.629 --> 00:15:15.149
about it. Excellent. Good. I kind of like it

00:15:15.149 --> 00:15:18.190
too. What it is is... Go for it. You know, crumbs

00:15:18.190 --> 00:15:20.769
are great, right? Whether they're fried chicken

00:15:20.769 --> 00:15:24.289
or fucking a cupcake or something or a chocolate

00:15:24.289 --> 00:15:27.990
chip cookie. Well, let's do the Crumb Olympics.

00:15:28.620 --> 00:15:31.679
And that's one crumb against another. Like, let's

00:15:31.679 --> 00:15:36.500
say apple pie against cherry turnovers. Which

00:15:36.500 --> 00:15:39.000
crumbs would be better is all we're voting on.

00:15:40.480 --> 00:15:44.419
Only the crumbs. Only the crumbs, not the actual

00:15:44.419 --> 00:15:47.340
content. Because sometimes the crumbs are better

00:15:47.340 --> 00:15:51.080
than the actual content. Yes. And that's why

00:15:51.080 --> 00:15:52.600
we're doing this. So, all right, I'm glad you

00:15:52.600 --> 00:15:56.919
liked it. I do, too. It's something different.

00:15:56.980 --> 00:15:59.279
It's refreshing. It's like Crumb Olympics. Yeah.

00:15:59.379 --> 00:16:01.279
You know, some people be like, oh, that's stupid.

00:16:01.399 --> 00:16:04.659
And other people go, you know what? I agree with

00:16:04.659 --> 00:16:08.840
that. I think crumbs are good. So, anyway. Let's

00:16:08.840 --> 00:16:11.639
listen and see what they have to say about this.

00:16:12.059 --> 00:16:13.960
Yeah, yeah. You know what? And I'm sure we'll

00:16:13.960 --> 00:16:15.940
get some emails about it. We get emails about

00:16:15.940 --> 00:16:19.100
every fucking thing. Jeez. Hey, hey, hey. We

00:16:19.100 --> 00:16:22.100
are going into the holidays. Yes. You know it.

00:16:22.639 --> 00:16:32.399
It's kind of... Yeah, we're going to help you

00:16:32.399 --> 00:16:34.820
guys out. You know what crumbs to steal and what

00:16:34.820 --> 00:16:39.299
to leave. So there. Yeah, this is our little

00:16:39.299 --> 00:16:42.379
Thanksgiving and Christmas thank you to you,

00:16:42.419 --> 00:16:52.039
right? Yes. Yeah, so. So anyhow, Ronnie and Tulsa.

00:16:53.549 --> 00:16:55.789
Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're going to keep doing it

00:16:55.789 --> 00:16:57.909
for a little while, and it'll probably be like

00:16:57.909 --> 00:17:00.070
the Harry Asshole Olympics, where we'll have

00:17:00.070 --> 00:17:02.490
a grand champion, and then that'll be it. It'll

00:17:02.490 --> 00:17:04.150
be like, all right, okay, we went through all

00:17:04.150 --> 00:17:06.609
the crumbs we could think of, and we agree that

00:17:06.609 --> 00:17:10.730
these are the best crumbs ever. Okay, but this

00:17:10.730 --> 00:17:15.029
time around, you take those. Okay, you got it.

00:17:18.480 --> 00:17:21.380
I know you did, and thank you. So I'll take the

00:17:21.380 --> 00:17:23.839
notes. I'll observe the winner, write all the

00:17:23.839 --> 00:17:26.220
winners down, and we'll go from there. All right,

00:17:26.220 --> 00:17:31.079
yeah. So Ronnie in Tulsa update. He cannot do

00:17:31.079 --> 00:17:33.980
a podcast per his employer, so he's a little

00:17:33.980 --> 00:17:37.779
bummed out. And he also misses Tulsa to top it

00:17:37.779 --> 00:17:42.660
off. Okay, okay. Well, let's get him to call

00:17:42.660 --> 00:17:46.279
in here. Get him to call in here. Rob, I love

00:17:46.279 --> 00:17:49.089
you said that. He already agreed to. And I also

00:17:49.089 --> 00:17:51.390
have some other ideas that he's mulling around

00:17:51.390 --> 00:17:54.869
here. So, you know, and also our podcast has

00:17:54.869 --> 00:17:57.710
been banned from their service, from their server,

00:17:57.809 --> 00:18:01.109
Perani. I've offered to let him use an AI voice

00:18:01.109 --> 00:18:05.349
to record a show under an alias name. He's kind

00:18:05.349 --> 00:18:07.809
of leery about it. I do understand that because,

00:18:07.869 --> 00:18:10.789
you know, we are banned there. But he's mulling

00:18:10.789 --> 00:18:14.569
it over. I offered him something I always wanted

00:18:14.569 --> 00:18:17.970
him to do because he is such a... He loves Oklahoma.

00:18:17.970 --> 00:18:20.970
It's been his home his whole life. Yes, yes.

00:18:21.150 --> 00:18:23.829
I wanted him to do a hidden Oklahoma segment.

00:18:25.230 --> 00:18:27.849
Yes. And, you know, with a guest host on it.

00:18:27.869 --> 00:18:30.490
And, you know, he hasn't got back with me yet.

00:18:30.529 --> 00:18:34.410
And I understand him being leery, you know, because,

00:18:34.710 --> 00:18:39.230
you know, he's, you know, his work is, like,

00:18:39.230 --> 00:18:41.730
really down on him. I understand. Yeah, yeah.

00:18:41.789 --> 00:18:44.710
And I told him, I said, you take care of work

00:18:44.710 --> 00:18:52.549
for... Yeah, yeah. So I'm hoping he gets to do

00:18:52.549 --> 00:18:55.150
something like that. I mean, if we can work him

00:18:55.150 --> 00:18:56.950
in here, that's great. They can't stop him from

00:18:56.950 --> 00:19:00.410
calling in. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Just

00:19:00.410 --> 00:19:05.170
get him to call in. Just how I start. He agreed

00:19:05.170 --> 00:19:07.289
to that, and he loved the idea, and I'm glad

00:19:07.289 --> 00:19:08.970
you said that because that's the first thing

00:19:08.970 --> 00:19:10.990
I said is I was like, hey, why don't you call

00:19:10.990 --> 00:19:15.289
in? I want a meeting. I want a meeting. I do

00:19:15.289 --> 00:19:41.660
too. Just like everybody else. Really? Once I

00:19:41.660 --> 00:19:44.460
get to... Once I get to talk to him, I'll give

00:19:44.460 --> 00:19:47.799
him my contacts, everything. So, yeah, we'll

00:19:47.799 --> 00:19:50.940
be able to get in touch. Yeah, so we'll figure

00:19:50.940 --> 00:19:56.720
all that out later, but... So, anyhow, Mitch

00:19:56.720 --> 00:20:01.480
is pissed at us. He thinks we clown him too much.

00:20:01.700 --> 00:20:04.599
I remind him that he is always saying shit about

00:20:04.599 --> 00:20:12.619
me that I even read on the show. Okay, so you're

00:20:12.619 --> 00:20:16.599
going in emails? No, no, no, no. He didn't send

00:20:16.599 --> 00:20:20.009
an email. He didn't send another email. He was

00:20:20.009 --> 00:20:22.529
mad at us and he sent an email on that and I'm

00:20:22.529 --> 00:20:24.809
not reading it because I don't fucking care.

00:20:25.109 --> 00:20:27.309
You know, like I said, I'm going to reply back.

00:20:27.569 --> 00:20:31.809
And I said, dude, you're always fucking slamming

00:20:31.809 --> 00:20:35.630
me and always put it on the show. And then you

00:20:35.630 --> 00:20:39.009
can't take a little bit back. And he never did

00:20:39.009 --> 00:20:41.750
reply. He didn't send an email after that. So

00:20:41.750 --> 00:20:44.210
you know what? That's fine, Mitch. Go do something

00:20:44.210 --> 00:20:49.740
else. We don't fucking care. Jeez. So. Yep. He

00:20:49.740 --> 00:20:51.960
is responding. I don't think I give a shit, do

00:20:51.960 --> 00:21:05.539
you? Yep. Well, and he also seems to have a problem

00:21:05.539 --> 00:21:07.119
with you now, and I don't know what you did.

00:21:16.589 --> 00:21:18.450
Oh, you know what? I think you know. Yeah, you

00:21:18.450 --> 00:21:20.490
know what? I think you're right. That is it.

00:21:20.509 --> 00:21:23.170
So anyhow, he can't take a joke. I mean, we take

00:21:23.170 --> 00:21:24.970
him all the time. He gives a shit all the time.

00:21:25.049 --> 00:21:29.210
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, the carnival, whatever. Yeah,

00:21:29.210 --> 00:21:31.809
yeah, and all that. And the fucking Rob lookalike.

00:21:31.890 --> 00:21:34.470
All that bullshit. You know what I mean? Well,

00:21:34.829 --> 00:21:39.730
think about it. I live right here. And you know

00:21:39.730 --> 00:21:43.430
for a fact, I live here on the beautiful Niagara

00:21:43.430 --> 00:21:53.309
Arm of Lake of the Osiris. Yes. Good point, Rob.

00:21:53.750 --> 00:21:57.309
Honestly, dude, I've been waiting. And you know

00:21:57.309 --> 00:22:00.150
it. I told you off the air, I've been waiting.

00:22:00.589 --> 00:22:05.210
I'm getting ready to move to Wheatland. A project

00:22:05.210 --> 00:22:09.569
in half from the main entrance of Lucas Oil Speedway.

00:22:09.829 --> 00:22:12.650
I'm waiting for him to come back with Adrian

00:22:12.650 --> 00:22:19.259
and Butler. I'm going to laugh my ass off. Any

00:22:19.259 --> 00:22:23.220
other dirt tracks for Warren? Lucas Oil is asphalt,

00:22:23.460 --> 00:22:28.480
plus they have a boat track. Yes, yeah. They've

00:22:28.480 --> 00:22:32.680
got a neat setup down there, don't they? They've

00:22:32.680 --> 00:22:34.720
got a really cool setup. I've just been waiting

00:22:34.720 --> 00:22:39.759
on that one. I warned him, and I think he did

00:22:39.759 --> 00:22:41.960
better. Well, I don't know if we even have to

00:22:41.960 --> 00:22:44.079
deal with him anymore. He never sent a reply,

00:22:44.259 --> 00:22:51.630
and he sent this early. Is that or he didn't

00:22:51.630 --> 00:23:03.529
pay his Wi -Fi bill? I don't care. Unless he

00:23:03.529 --> 00:23:07.829
reveals himself, who he really is, I don't care.

00:23:08.410 --> 00:23:14.190
If he's an old friend, I would care. So I might

00:23:14.190 --> 00:23:17.640
have. I'm really sure he knew you. I don't know

00:23:17.640 --> 00:23:20.759
if he knew me. I really think... Because he put

00:23:20.759 --> 00:23:24.500
out a lot of details from the past. I know. And

00:23:24.500 --> 00:23:28.039
they were specifically stuff for you. So I'm

00:23:28.039 --> 00:23:31.740
pretty... I'm almost certain he knows you. Seriously,

00:23:31.819 --> 00:23:35.359
Mitch. If we know each other, I may be dogging

00:23:35.359 --> 00:23:37.680
you now, but if we seriously know each other,

00:23:37.839 --> 00:23:41.660
let me know who you are, please. Yeah, Mitch.

00:23:41.799 --> 00:23:46.309
And we need to... You know what? And here's something,

00:23:46.430 --> 00:23:50.789
too, real quick. Okay. You're right. He did have

00:23:50.789 --> 00:23:54.509
a lot of deep details about me. He had too much.

00:23:54.529 --> 00:23:56.549
I was getting uncomfortable with it because I

00:23:56.549 --> 00:23:58.849
didn't know who the hell he was. I still don't.

00:23:58.890 --> 00:24:02.910
He knows me. Yeah, he does. So, I mean, Mitch,

00:24:02.990 --> 00:24:05.589
this is all jokes. It's just fun and games, all

00:24:05.589 --> 00:24:08.549
right? Nobody's trying to piss anybody off. So,

00:24:08.589 --> 00:24:11.329
come back around. I will be your friend if I

00:24:11.329 --> 00:24:13.289
know who the hell you are, Mitch. Yeah, let him

00:24:13.289 --> 00:24:16.920
know. So, anyhow. All right, let's go ahead and

00:24:16.920 --> 00:24:20.000
move on. Mitch, when he listens to this, he'll

00:24:20.000 --> 00:24:23.099
get it. So, hopefully, you know. Anyhow. Okay,

00:24:23.240 --> 00:24:25.519
if they ever make a Fast Times at Ridgemont High,

00:24:25.740 --> 00:24:32.119
Trevor Lawrence should play Spicoli. Who? Trevor

00:24:32.119 --> 00:24:36.940
Lawrence, the quarterback for the Jacksonville

00:24:36.940 --> 00:24:40.000
Jaguars. You know what? That would be a good

00:24:40.000 --> 00:24:42.619
one. He would be a perfect fucking Spicoli. The

00:24:42.619 --> 00:24:45.579
hair. Yeah. Yeah, just his eyes and everything.

00:24:45.740 --> 00:24:48.279
He looks like a complete star. I can see him

00:24:48.279 --> 00:24:51.480
right now, like the smashed up car, and then

00:24:51.480 --> 00:24:56.380
the guy goes, man, he's, man. Well, he's a football

00:24:56.380 --> 00:25:01.839
player. Yeah. He does anyway. Yeah, yeah, yeah,

00:25:02.000 --> 00:25:06.880
yeah. Yeah, yeah. Good point. Good point. I can

00:25:06.880 --> 00:25:08.619
see him right now going. I love that. I love

00:25:08.619 --> 00:25:11.599
that. I can see him beating himself on the head

00:25:11.599 --> 00:25:13.779
with a shoe and going, dude, you hear that? No,

00:25:13.819 --> 00:25:18.779
what is that, man? That's my skull, man. I can

00:25:18.779 --> 00:25:21.539
see him getting out of a smashed up car and going,

00:25:21.660 --> 00:25:25.240
my dad's a TV repairman. I can fix it. Everybody,

00:25:25.299 --> 00:25:28.099
if you wonder what a TV repairman is, Google

00:25:28.099 --> 00:25:34.940
it, okay, if you're younger. So, anyhow, I think

00:25:34.940 --> 00:25:37.930
he makes a great show. You know, if he ever gets

00:25:37.930 --> 00:25:39.829
injured and can't play or he just gets tired

00:25:39.829 --> 00:25:42.150
of playing or after he retires, he should go

00:25:42.150 --> 00:25:44.549
try out for Spicoli if they ever do a remake.

00:25:44.809 --> 00:25:51.069
He would get it. Just on his looks. Anyhow, have

00:25:51.069 --> 00:25:54.430
you seen the Cobra? Rob, have you seen the Cobra

00:25:54.430 --> 00:25:58.309
vs. the Chimp videos? They are probably AI, but

00:25:58.309 --> 00:26:02.150
man, they're fun to watch. It's a chimpanzee.

00:26:02.150 --> 00:26:11.150
I don't have time for that. I'll remind you when

00:26:11.150 --> 00:26:13.349
you're finally in your new home and everything's

00:26:13.349 --> 00:26:15.670
settled, I'll say, hey, check out the chimpanzee

00:26:15.670 --> 00:26:19.150
versus the cobra. It's really cool, and it's

00:26:19.150 --> 00:26:22.410
really freaky, but I'm relatively sure it's AI,

00:26:22.670 --> 00:26:25.089
but anyhow, it's still cool. I'll tell you what,

00:26:25.150 --> 00:26:28.529
check in with me after New Year's. Okay, that's

00:26:28.529 --> 00:26:33.950
cool. I'll be busy after that. For sure. So,

00:26:34.029 --> 00:26:38.240
after the Chiefs debacle, Okay, between three

00:26:38.240 --> 00:26:40.799
Chiefs players, I calculated Chris Jones, Harrison

00:26:40.799 --> 00:26:44.059
Butker, and Travis Kelsey owe the Chiefs $30

00:26:44.059 --> 00:26:50.140
million. Yep. Yeah. Yep. Yeah, there's no other

00:26:50.140 --> 00:26:52.779
way around it. None of them are fucking producing,

00:26:52.779 --> 00:26:54.920
and all of them are grabbing a big chunk of change,

00:26:55.079 --> 00:26:59.019
and it pisses me off. Chris Jones... Those two

00:26:59.019 --> 00:27:01.180
of them are two of the highest players on the

00:27:01.180 --> 00:27:05.000
team. Yeah, Chris Jones held out. Travis Kelsey

00:27:05.000 --> 00:27:07.519
restructured his contract to give him that big

00:27:07.519 --> 00:27:09.920
contract, and now Chris Jones stands there and

00:27:09.920 --> 00:27:11.859
watches fucking Trevor Lawrence fall down and

00:27:11.859 --> 00:27:14.339
just walk into the end zone. I'm fucking pissed.

00:27:14.660 --> 00:27:17.680
He needs to be benched. He needs to be fired.

00:27:17.859 --> 00:27:20.500
Fuck benching. They just need to fire him. We'll

00:27:20.500 --> 00:27:22.160
get around it. I mean, if he's going to stand

00:27:22.160 --> 00:27:24.539
there, he's no good anyhow. That was ridiculous.

00:27:24.839 --> 00:27:26.579
Look it up if you don't know what I'm talking

00:27:26.579 --> 00:27:39.819
about. Oh, I'm talking about Chris Jones. He's

00:27:39.819 --> 00:27:42.700
got to be a G. Oh, no, no, no. I know. They're

00:27:42.700 --> 00:27:44.660
not going to get rid of Kelsey. Besides that,

00:27:44.700 --> 00:27:47.180
Kelsey is great friends with Mahomes. They're

00:27:47.180 --> 00:27:50.039
not going to set Mahomes in any way. So, you

00:27:50.039 --> 00:27:52.380
know. Now, look, they're all fine. They're going

00:27:52.380 --> 00:27:55.900
to keep them all. But it just really irritates

00:27:55.900 --> 00:27:58.200
the piss out of me. They're drawing this much

00:27:58.200 --> 00:28:03.299
money and not producing. It's irritating a lot

00:28:03.299 --> 00:28:06.019
of people. And it's not just about the money.

00:28:06.500 --> 00:28:12.970
No. So, another thing, another little thing that

00:28:12.970 --> 00:28:16.710
I got from the, from, well, actually several

00:28:16.710 --> 00:28:21.069
football games that ESPN and ABC carries. Why

00:28:21.069 --> 00:28:23.930
does the broadcast feed sound always cut out

00:28:23.930 --> 00:28:29.130
periodically? It's only ESPN slash ABC that that

00:28:29.130 --> 00:28:32.630
happens. It always goes out. It goes out for,

00:28:32.710 --> 00:28:36.700
I don't know, five seconds, comes back. About

00:28:36.700 --> 00:28:39.000
20 minutes later, it'll go out again for seven,

00:28:39.079 --> 00:28:41.660
eight seconds. It'll come back. It's really annoying,

00:28:41.920 --> 00:28:45.680
and it's only those. It's only ESPN and ABC.

00:28:46.019 --> 00:28:47.920
I don't know what they're doing wrong or what

00:28:47.920 --> 00:28:51.920
the deal is, but it's always going out. Now that

00:28:51.920 --> 00:28:54.259
I mention that, you'll realize what I'm talking

00:28:54.259 --> 00:28:58.740
about. It's annoying as hell. I don't get that

00:28:58.740 --> 00:29:04.220
channel yet. I will here shortly. Oh, okay. All

00:29:04.220 --> 00:29:09.220
right. Stretchy yogurt. This is the newest rage.

00:29:10.640 --> 00:29:14.319
It's odd, that's for sure. People make this stuff.

00:29:14.619 --> 00:29:18.559
It is. It's made from yogurt and some starchy

00:29:18.559 --> 00:29:21.680
stuff. Oh, hang on, hang on, hang on. Let's get

00:29:21.680 --> 00:29:23.599
the new guy to explain it. What do you think,

00:29:23.640 --> 00:29:33.500
Rob? You know what? You paid him 50 bucks. You

00:29:33.500 --> 00:29:36.940
paid him $50, and I gave him pencil shavings.

00:29:36.960 --> 00:29:39.839
He's got to earn them, right? All right, new

00:29:39.839 --> 00:29:43.160
guy, what the hell is stretching? I just kicked

00:29:43.160 --> 00:29:46.440
him a new pair of camo house shoes, too. Oh,

00:29:46.440 --> 00:29:49.079
shit. Okay, new guy, you explain this shit. You

00:29:49.079 --> 00:29:51.779
owe us. Just a couple days ago. Just a couple

00:29:51.779 --> 00:29:54.559
days ago. Boy, he's ripping you off, dude. Geez.

00:29:55.200 --> 00:29:59.859
You know, the $18 ones at Walmart. $18 something

00:29:59.859 --> 00:30:02.200
at Walmart. Yeah, he's still ripping you off.

00:30:02.779 --> 00:30:06.920
Yes, I do know. Okay, new guy. Stretchy yogurt.

00:30:07.119 --> 00:30:13.039
Go for it. Hello. This is the new guy. I'm supposed

00:30:13.039 --> 00:30:17.480
to describe to you stretchy yogurt or some bullshit.

00:30:19.720 --> 00:30:24.559
Okay. Stretchy yogurt is a trending viral dessert

00:30:24.559 --> 00:30:28.210
popularized by Cat Lou. Made by mixing Greek

00:30:28.210 --> 00:30:31.029
yogurt milk and tapioca starch, then microwaving

00:30:31.029 --> 00:30:33.150
the mixture to create a sticky, mochi -like,

00:30:33.349 --> 00:30:36.329
protein -packed treat. The yogurt actually works

00:30:36.329 --> 00:30:38.750
like canned slime does. The cute factor of this

00:30:38.750 --> 00:30:42.130
product catches younger generations. A dessert

00:30:42.130 --> 00:30:44.210
with a texture described similar to mochi or

00:30:44.210 --> 00:30:47.210
baby yogurt and mochi. It achieves a signature

00:30:47.210 --> 00:30:50.089
stretchiness from the addition of tapioca starch.

00:30:50.470 --> 00:30:53.170
The recipe for this concoction is in a microwave

00:30:53.170 --> 00:30:56.599
-safe bowl. Combine Greek yogurt, milk, and tapioca

00:30:56.599 --> 00:30:59.000
starch. Cover the bowl with plastic wrap, poking

00:30:59.000 --> 00:31:01.380
holes in the wrap with a fork. Microwave for

00:31:01.380 --> 00:31:03.859
two minutes carefully. Remove the bowl and the

00:31:03.859 --> 00:31:06.779
microwave and stir until a uniform, smooth, and

00:31:06.779 --> 00:31:09.400
stretchy batter forms. The more you mix and cool,

00:31:09.579 --> 00:31:12.019
the stretchier it becomes. Enjoy it with your

00:31:12.019 --> 00:31:14.940
favorite toppings and food powders. Jeffy X has

00:31:14.940 --> 00:31:17.779
a list coming up later in this podcast, and I'm

00:31:17.779 --> 00:31:21.279
tired of doing this shit. Fuck these guys. Man.

00:31:21.420 --> 00:31:24.200
Jeez. What the hell did we do to him? How come

00:31:24.200 --> 00:31:28.880
he's so short? I don't know. Gosh, man. I know

00:31:28.880 --> 00:31:31.539
for a fact those camo house shoes are comfy.

00:31:31.839 --> 00:31:35.319
I got a pair on right now. They're comfy as hell.

00:31:35.440 --> 00:31:37.779
He went on Instagram and showed everybody. He

00:31:37.779 --> 00:31:39.859
was proud of them. I know. How come he's being

00:31:39.859 --> 00:31:42.779
such an asshole again? I don't know. I don't

00:31:42.779 --> 00:31:45.940
know, man. It's his personality. I think his

00:31:45.940 --> 00:31:47.960
tum -tum hurts. You think he's got maybe, I don't

00:31:47.960 --> 00:31:52.480
know, gasritis or something? Maybe. I think we

00:31:52.480 --> 00:31:57.579
need to buy him a hooker. Or give him the money

00:31:57.579 --> 00:32:00.480
to buy a hooker or do whatever he wants. Yeah,

00:32:00.519 --> 00:32:02.400
let's not buy him the hooker because that would

00:32:02.400 --> 00:32:08.440
be illegal. Oh, and speaking of that, Jeffy X

00:32:08.440 --> 00:32:11.000
has a list of stretchy products that didn't work.

00:32:11.079 --> 00:32:15.319
But that will be up later, not right now. Alright!

00:32:15.609 --> 00:32:19.109
Yeah, Jeffy X, he came forward. He came out from

00:32:19.109 --> 00:32:21.910
where he was in intense hiding. There were people

00:32:21.910 --> 00:32:24.490
after him. Yeah, oh, people were after him. They

00:32:24.490 --> 00:32:26.490
were mad at him. They want him, you know. So

00:32:26.490 --> 00:32:29.910
he had to go into hiding. So he risked his life

00:32:29.910 --> 00:32:32.009
getting this list out. He got shot at. He got

00:32:32.009 --> 00:32:34.190
electrocuted, everything, man, the poor guy.

00:32:34.569 --> 00:32:37.730
Oh, that's bad. Yeah, yeah. But he got out of

00:32:37.730 --> 00:32:39.789
there, but he got a list of stretchy things that

00:32:39.789 --> 00:32:46.289
failed. But we'll get into that later. So, here

00:32:46.289 --> 00:32:48.730
at the Talk is Cheap studio, I'm smelling something

00:32:48.730 --> 00:32:52.009
awful, right? And I'm perplexed as to what it

00:32:52.009 --> 00:32:54.509
could be. I look around for maybe an old bowl

00:32:54.509 --> 00:32:58.029
with decomposed food in it. Maybe Madre the show

00:32:58.029 --> 00:33:00.029
cat might have had an accident, you know, in

00:33:00.029 --> 00:33:02.390
the corner or something that I didn't see. Nothing.

00:33:03.109 --> 00:33:05.329
So, I start picking up things and putting them

00:33:05.329 --> 00:33:07.789
in the trash can because I occasionally get a

00:33:07.789 --> 00:33:10.250
little sloppy in here, you know, because, you

00:33:10.250 --> 00:33:12.690
know, doing the podcast. You're drinking some,

00:33:12.849 --> 00:33:14.369
and it's like, well, I can't get up, really.

00:33:14.490 --> 00:33:16.369
I'm doing this, so I throw it on the ground.

00:33:16.569 --> 00:33:21.109
Well, I find these couple of large jugs of Starbucks

00:33:21.109 --> 00:33:25.769
that used to be espresso. I drink them in the

00:33:25.769 --> 00:33:29.210
morning because there's not as much acidity in

00:33:29.210 --> 00:33:33.950
the cold coffee. My stomach can manage that much

00:33:33.950 --> 00:33:37.549
better than regular coffee, so I don't get GERD

00:33:37.549 --> 00:33:41.680
as bad. So I pick them up and I suddenly realize

00:33:41.680 --> 00:33:43.559
that's where the smell is coming from. Because

00:33:43.559 --> 00:33:45.799
like I said, we've got to be stationary to do

00:33:45.799 --> 00:33:50.279
this podcast, right? Right. Okay. Well, you know,

00:33:50.319 --> 00:33:51.579
every now and then you've got to piss, right?

00:33:51.839 --> 00:33:56.039
Okay. Now, guys will know this. Women will not,

00:33:56.079 --> 00:33:58.660
but guys will know this. Okay, these are the

00:33:58.660 --> 00:34:01.059
large jugs with the large mouth. They're easy

00:34:01.059 --> 00:34:05.700
to piss in. Okay. Well, you know, I'm sitting

00:34:05.700 --> 00:34:07.579
here doing this podcast, all right? You know,

00:34:07.579 --> 00:34:09.840
and I had to piss so bad, my teeth were floating.

00:34:10.199 --> 00:34:13.320
So, and we're in the middle of the podcast. I'm

00:34:13.320 --> 00:34:17.519
like, hey, look at that right there. I can just

00:34:17.519 --> 00:34:20.340
piss in that and be okay. Well, if you piss in

00:34:20.340 --> 00:34:21.920
something, you got to remember you're pissing

00:34:21.920 --> 00:34:24.559
something, right? You got to remember so you

00:34:24.559 --> 00:34:28.599
can toss it out. Well, I'd forgotten about it.

00:34:28.619 --> 00:34:30.719
And I'm sitting there going, what the hell is

00:34:30.719 --> 00:34:33.530
that rank smell? I'm looking everywhere. Nothing,

00:34:33.550 --> 00:34:35.130
nothing, nothing. I'm like, well, I might as

00:34:35.130 --> 00:34:37.730
well clean this place up. So I pick up that jug,

00:34:37.989 --> 00:34:39.889
and all of a sudden I smell it. I'm like, oh,

00:34:39.929 --> 00:34:44.170
yeah, that's right. And so when I went to dump

00:34:44.170 --> 00:34:47.309
it out, you've seen coagulated piss before, right?

00:34:47.369 --> 00:34:49.449
You piss in a jug and forgot it, right? Okay.

00:34:49.789 --> 00:34:53.289
It gets chunks in it, and it's like, oh, my gosh.

00:34:53.769 --> 00:34:57.110
I about vomited because I got a big old whiff

00:34:57.110 --> 00:34:59.349
of it when I opened up the top of it and started

00:34:59.349 --> 00:35:03.030
pouring it out outside. I'm like, oh. So, anyhow,

00:35:03.269 --> 00:35:06.170
the Talk is Cheap studio smells okay again, or

00:35:06.170 --> 00:35:08.389
at least enough to where I can sit in here and

00:35:08.389 --> 00:35:12.170
not mind. So, anyhow. Dude, that's what I love

00:35:12.170 --> 00:35:15.530
about the way we're doing the podcast now. I

00:35:15.530 --> 00:35:17.929
have a new button in my bathroom that's right

00:35:17.929 --> 00:35:21.489
around the corner. Oh, that's awesome. Oh, that'd

00:35:21.489 --> 00:35:23.329
be nice. Well, I'm going to continue. I've got

00:35:23.329 --> 00:35:25.610
a Starbucks container right here. No, no, no.

00:35:34.230 --> 00:35:39.610
I have a few bottles myself. There you go. But

00:35:39.610 --> 00:35:42.550
believe me, do not let the missus find them.

00:35:42.610 --> 00:35:48.170
Or they get very upset. Well, Princess's office

00:35:48.170 --> 00:35:52.849
will be up there. She'll let me know. Yeah. Try

00:35:52.849 --> 00:35:56.949
to throw it away yourself. I clean the studio.

00:35:57.510 --> 00:36:00.869
I clean the studio myself because of stuff like

00:36:00.869 --> 00:36:05.429
that. Yeah. So I'm like, no, I better just go

00:36:05.429 --> 00:36:08.110
ahead and do this myself. And I'll do it. Yeah.

00:36:08.429 --> 00:36:11.309
Yeah. All these little secrets are well kept

00:36:11.309 --> 00:36:13.650
now. You know, she doesn't know I piss in jugs.

00:36:13.650 --> 00:36:16.570
And if she did know, she would probably not like

00:36:16.570 --> 00:36:29.539
that very much. So. So anyhow. Guys. Guys will

00:36:29.539 --> 00:36:32.019
be guys, right? I mean, that's what we do. It's

00:36:32.019 --> 00:36:33.820
kind of like, I don't feel like moving. I got

00:36:33.820 --> 00:36:37.659
a jug. Oh, I'll piss in the jug and not move.

00:36:38.380 --> 00:36:44.820
Great. Problem solved. Yes. Like, remember, we're

00:36:44.820 --> 00:36:46.699
talking about shitting in mailboxes and stuff

00:36:46.699 --> 00:36:52.519
like that. Or the painter, when I was in between,

00:36:52.639 --> 00:36:54.840
it was summer break, and I found this painting

00:36:54.840 --> 00:36:58.639
job. Whenever the owner would get mad at somebody

00:36:58.639 --> 00:37:00.199
and thought they were moving too slow, he'd take

00:37:00.199 --> 00:37:02.199
a shit in a box and hide it in the room they're

00:37:02.199 --> 00:37:04.519
working in. And his theory was you would smell

00:37:04.519 --> 00:37:06.579
this bad smell and hurry up and get out of there.

00:37:07.079 --> 00:37:10.539
And I was like, what a maniacal fucking evil

00:37:10.539 --> 00:37:16.380
bastard. Go shit in a box, fucking stick it somewhere,

00:37:16.619 --> 00:37:22.219
and leave it there. Yeah. So, anyhow, moving

00:37:22.219 --> 00:37:24.860
on. Amtrak will be adding a third route between

00:37:24.860 --> 00:37:27.719
St. Louis and Kansas City. This is ahead of the

00:37:27.719 --> 00:37:30.099
World Cup that will be held in KC next year.

00:37:30.519 --> 00:37:33.460
The World Cup is scheduled for Arrowhead Stadium,

00:37:33.719 --> 00:37:39.039
June 11, 2026 through July 19, 2026. This will

00:37:39.039 --> 00:37:40.940
be a lot of games involved in between there.

00:37:41.239 --> 00:37:43.840
This will enable people to possibly stay in the

00:37:43.840 --> 00:37:46.420
St. Louis area while visiting the World Cup games.

00:37:47.340 --> 00:37:50.199
I'm thinking between St. Louis and Kansas City,

00:37:50.199 --> 00:37:52.059
it's a hard choice on which kind of criminal

00:37:52.059 --> 00:37:56.960
you want to deal with. Right. Yeah. So I looked

00:37:56.960 --> 00:37:59.099
at the hotel prices in St. Louis during the events,

00:37:59.159 --> 00:38:00.980
and it looks a little bit more affordable than

00:38:00.980 --> 00:38:04.920
KC Metro. I don't believe Kansas City has enough

00:38:04.920 --> 00:38:08.159
hotel space anyhow. Topeka and St. Joe and Lawrence

00:38:08.159 --> 00:38:12.760
might help. But, you know, if you live in...

00:38:12.969 --> 00:38:15.769
If you stay in St. Louis, you can take the Amtrak

00:38:15.769 --> 00:38:19.010
or rent a car so I could see it. But I plan on

00:38:19.010 --> 00:38:21.449
selling bulletproof vests and tasers to all the

00:38:21.449 --> 00:38:23.969
visitors. And I'll have to open up a stand in

00:38:23.969 --> 00:38:27.670
St. Louis as well. Don't you think? I plan on

00:38:27.670 --> 00:38:31.869
staying in Wheatland. That's a great idea. Where

00:38:31.869 --> 00:38:34.230
I know I'm safe. I will eventually make it out

00:38:34.230 --> 00:38:37.070
south again. I'm not sure when, but right now

00:38:37.070 --> 00:38:40.989
I can't. I work. You know, I work in the city.

00:38:41.250 --> 00:38:44.510
Yeah, we know. So, anyhow. All right, Rob, let's

00:38:44.510 --> 00:38:48.929
turn it to you. Okay, well, first off, I'm going

00:38:48.929 --> 00:38:55.429
to go into Lake Area news. Okay. Camden County's

00:38:55.429 --> 00:38:58.909
presiding commissioner lent guilty money to a

00:38:58.909 --> 00:39:01.789
misdemeanor after being charged with stealing

00:39:01.789 --> 00:39:06.349
a license plate reader. Okay. Remember, I covered

00:39:06.349 --> 00:39:33.199
this here all back. Yep. Rob, I have a question

00:39:33.199 --> 00:39:35.739
real quick. Okay. And I'm wondering about this.

00:39:35.960 --> 00:39:38.739
We had a representative for many, many years

00:39:38.739 --> 00:39:41.159
named Ike Skelton. Is this guy related to him

00:39:41.159 --> 00:40:15.269
or does it say? Yes, yes there was for years.

00:40:15.949 --> 00:40:19.469
That's what I thought. I asked our friend Andy

00:40:19.469 --> 00:40:22.869
and he thought, ooh. No, no, I'm pretty sure.

00:40:22.989 --> 00:40:26.230
Oh, Andy, Andy. It was Tatty Corn back behind

00:40:26.230 --> 00:40:31.090
Sonic. Yes. I believe you're correct on that

00:40:31.090 --> 00:40:33.909
from what I remember, yes. Well, I want to find

00:40:33.909 --> 00:40:38.590
out the same guy or same family. That was years

00:40:38.590 --> 00:40:42.170
ago. No, that was there for years and years and

00:40:42.170 --> 00:40:48.360
years. Now there's a skeleton lock and key down

00:40:48.360 --> 00:40:51.980
here. And I believe this is the commissioner.

00:40:55.039 --> 00:40:59.019
But yeah, he stole one of the license plate readers.

00:41:01.239 --> 00:43:06.710
Interesting. Okay. Okay, then he is. I don't

00:43:06.710 --> 00:43:11.769
know how I feel about this. I don't know either.

00:43:36.400 --> 00:43:42.099
Mm -hmm. And you shouldn't have a problem with

00:43:42.099 --> 00:43:45.579
being pulled over. Everything should be legal.

00:43:45.880 --> 00:43:53.679
I agree. I agree. So, what are you hiding? You

00:43:53.679 --> 00:43:55.960
know what? I agree. It's just like they're doing

00:43:55.960 --> 00:44:00.659
away with the temporary tags in the state of

00:44:00.659 --> 00:44:04.210
Missouri. Yes, and you know what? Yeah. It might

00:44:04.210 --> 00:44:08.050
as well, too, because, I mean, people, I see

00:44:08.050 --> 00:44:10.550
them like five years old. I'm still seeing tags

00:44:10.550 --> 00:44:14.550
that expired last year. Or way before that, actually.

00:44:14.610 --> 00:44:19.489
I mean, gosh, I see, yeah. Yeah, no, I mean,

00:44:19.489 --> 00:44:26.610
it's crazy how much they, how much they let them

00:44:26.610 --> 00:44:31.750
expire. They can't be getting caught. Okay, expired

00:44:31.750 --> 00:44:42.940
is. Yeah, I agree with that. I agree. You know,

00:44:43.000 --> 00:44:47.179
even if you're driving on a suspended license,

00:44:47.340 --> 00:44:50.199
as long as the tags come back to that vehicle,

00:44:50.380 --> 00:44:54.579
you should be fine. Mm -hmm. I agree. I agree.

00:44:54.820 --> 00:45:00.000
Yep. Well. So, I don't see the big deal in it,

00:45:00.079 --> 00:45:03.539
but evidently he does. I guess so. All right,

00:45:03.539 --> 00:45:11.739
whatever. Okay. Yeah. Wow. Okay. And I do believe

00:45:11.739 --> 00:45:15.820
that's the same guy, I think, or close. I think

00:45:15.820 --> 00:45:18.460
he's a relative. I'll tell you what, let me do

00:45:18.460 --> 00:45:22.179
some research into him. I will let you know,

00:45:22.239 --> 00:45:25.780
79. Well, I find it odd that one of his names

00:45:25.780 --> 00:45:28.860
is Ike and then Skelton, like Ike Skelton, the

00:45:28.860 --> 00:45:31.820
representative, and now he's in local government

00:45:31.820 --> 00:45:43.250
down there. Dad. It said, I like Ike. He used

00:45:43.250 --> 00:45:46.369
to have buttons like Eisenhower. I thought he

00:45:46.369 --> 00:45:49.510
was dead. I thought he was too. I wonder if this

00:45:49.510 --> 00:45:51.789
is like his son or something, or nephew or something.

00:45:51.889 --> 00:45:56.030
I don't know. Because, I mean, he hasn't been

00:45:56.030 --> 00:45:58.969
around. Ike Skelton hasn't been active for years,

00:45:59.130 --> 00:46:21.559
and I know. Yes. Yes. Mm -hmm. Yeah, he used

00:46:21.559 --> 00:46:25.500
to run like Eisenhower, President Eisenhower

00:46:25.500 --> 00:46:29.139
used to, when he ran, he said, I like Ike. Well,

00:46:29.219 --> 00:46:33.000
that's what he used, because his pet name or

00:46:33.000 --> 00:46:38.039
whatever his name is, Ike. So, okay. All right,

00:46:38.059 --> 00:46:40.800
thank you, Rob. Do you want to... Want to take

00:46:40.800 --> 00:46:42.780
our first break and then come back with some

00:46:42.780 --> 00:46:46.000
emails? Yeah, I think we need to. Okay, we'll

00:46:46.000 --> 00:47:11.639
be right back. Bye. First world problems. The

00:47:11.639 --> 00:47:15.119
ATM wants me to make a new PIN number for security

00:47:15.119 --> 00:47:18.039
purposes. I don't have an extra two minutes.

00:47:18.219 --> 00:47:21.659
I need my Starbucks. I'm having the worst day

00:47:21.659 --> 00:47:24.880
ever. As much fun as an electric can opener to

00:47:24.880 --> 00:47:27.280
the scrotum. Two douchebags and a microphone.

00:47:30.179 --> 00:47:34.260
And now, a brand new feature. Strange insults

00:47:34.260 --> 00:47:39.010
from an alien. May your mother come to talk to

00:47:39.010 --> 00:47:42.869
you. And then leave your door slightly ajar.

00:47:43.550 --> 00:47:46.809
So that you may have to get up and close it.

00:47:48.630 --> 00:47:54.889
Jammed X. What the hell happened? You were the

00:47:54.889 --> 00:48:00.130
generation of change. You never wanted to be

00:48:00.130 --> 00:48:05.750
one of them. Apathy spoke for you. Fuck the man.

00:48:06.829 --> 00:48:11.690
Not the system. What the hell happened? The generation

00:48:11.690 --> 00:48:14.889
of angst? The generation of non -compliance?

00:48:15.909 --> 00:48:19.949
Is now buying a boat? You're really fed up to

00:48:19.949 --> 00:48:23.429
kill someone dangled a dollar near you? Great

00:48:23.429 --> 00:48:30.889
job, Xers. Everything's ruined. Hey there, slap

00:48:30.889 --> 00:48:36.789
nuts. It's time for the Creeps Music News. Hey,

00:48:36.809 --> 00:48:39.369
my little pumpkin seeds, this is Johnny Rohypnol

00:48:39.369 --> 00:48:46.989
with your music news. So recently some new information

00:48:46.989 --> 00:48:49.369
came out about the firing of Bob Daisley and

00:48:49.369 --> 00:48:51.809
Lee Kerslake, two of the original members of

00:48:51.809 --> 00:48:54.510
the Blizzard of Oz band. Ozzy claims that Randy

00:48:54.510 --> 00:48:57.150
Rhodes also had a role in his decision to fire

00:48:57.150 --> 00:48:59.750
the bassist and drummer. Randy never liked Lee

00:48:59.750 --> 00:49:02.849
Kerslake, Ozzy states, and Bob was always intimidating

00:49:02.849 --> 00:49:05.900
him. And I can remember... that Randy's mom came

00:49:05.900 --> 00:49:07.659
to him and said, what the fuck are you playing

00:49:07.659 --> 00:49:10.019
with those idiots for? I was sitting next to

00:49:10.019 --> 00:49:12.500
Randy's mom at the time, and she said, what's

00:49:12.500 --> 00:49:15.480
wrong with you, Randy? Then Randy said, I think

00:49:15.480 --> 00:49:17.420
I'm going to leave the band. I asked him why.

00:49:18.340 --> 00:49:21.599
We had a chat apart one day, and he said, the

00:49:21.599 --> 00:49:24.519
band is just a lot of geeks. You drink too much?

00:49:24.619 --> 00:49:28.139
I said, well, it's just me. But what do you mean,

00:49:28.280 --> 00:49:30.960
a band of geeks? And he said, look, how are we

00:49:30.960 --> 00:49:32.860
going to conquer America with that fucking lot?

00:49:33.280 --> 00:49:36.340
Rose suggested his old Quiet Riot pal Rudy Sarzo

00:49:36.340 --> 00:49:39.239
as a replacement for Daisley, and Tommy Altrich

00:49:39.239 --> 00:49:41.320
was a drummer that Ozzy had known and admired

00:49:41.320 --> 00:49:44.119
for years, a veteran of Black Oak Arkansas, as

00:49:44.119 --> 00:49:47.940
well as Pat Travers and Gary Moore Band. Interesting

00:49:47.940 --> 00:49:51.940
stuff, huh? This is Johnny Rohypnol. That was

00:49:51.940 --> 00:49:54.699
your music news, and remember, bar chords are

00:49:54.699 --> 00:50:00.960
bullshit. And now we look in on the adventures

00:50:00.960 --> 00:50:04.500
of the technical explanation guy. Excuse me,

00:50:04.500 --> 00:50:07.659
my dear sir. Could you please put my plain bread

00:50:07.659 --> 00:50:09.800
in a small countertop appliance with heating

00:50:09.800 --> 00:50:12.519
elements that would spring loaded and would brown

00:50:12.519 --> 00:50:15.179
my bread adequately? Well, first off, I'm not

00:50:15.179 --> 00:50:17.679
a waiter. I'm just a guy over there sitting at

00:50:17.679 --> 00:50:20.599
the table having a drink. Second off, are you

00:50:20.599 --> 00:50:22.949
talking about someone toasting your bread? Well,

00:50:22.969 --> 00:50:25.550
yes. Yes, I am. I'm talking about my bread being

00:50:25.550 --> 00:50:27.610
toasted. Then why don't you just ask for your

00:50:27.610 --> 00:50:30.429
bread to be toasted, you dumb bastard? The hell's

00:50:30.429 --> 00:50:36.130
wrong with you? I am the Mad Shitter in Clayton,

00:50:36.170 --> 00:50:40.269
Missouri. Well, okay. Like I said, this is a

00:50:40.269 --> 00:50:42.469
long time ago. You know, I don't know. I was

00:50:42.469 --> 00:50:45.050
in my mid -twenties. I had sleep apnea and I

00:50:45.050 --> 00:50:47.409
had to wear a CPAP. And then I opted for the

00:50:47.409 --> 00:50:50.309
surgery. So I got surgery and then I went back

00:50:50.309 --> 00:50:53.480
to the doctor. The doctor was good. You know,

00:50:53.500 --> 00:50:55.500
this is before you could buy the CPAP machines.

00:50:55.519 --> 00:50:58.119
You had to rent them. Oh, yeah. Okay. So it was

00:50:58.119 --> 00:51:00.960
very expensive for me to keep it another day.

00:51:01.079 --> 00:51:02.940
And the insurance told me, if you don't take

00:51:02.940 --> 00:51:06.159
it back today, that we're going to start charging

00:51:06.159 --> 00:51:08.099
for it. And then in some outrageous sums, I'm

00:51:08.099 --> 00:51:09.440
like, okay, where do I take it back? And they

00:51:09.440 --> 00:51:11.880
said, Clinton, Missouri. I'm like, what the fuck?

00:51:12.019 --> 00:51:13.940
And I was like, well, you want to pay for it?

00:51:14.000 --> 00:51:17.739
No. Okay. So here I was on my way to Clinton,

00:51:17.820 --> 00:51:20.179
Missouri, you know, fucking tooling. They're

00:51:20.179 --> 00:51:22.820
my little Ford Ranger at the time. So I tool

00:51:22.820 --> 00:51:24.719
all the way to Clinton, take the fucker back.

00:51:24.900 --> 00:51:26.340
And on the way back, I'm like, you know, it's

00:51:26.340 --> 00:51:28.000
going to be an hour before I can stop. There's

00:51:28.000 --> 00:51:31.139
no station. So I pull in, get some gas. I'm like,

00:51:31.179 --> 00:51:33.760
eh, I need a 7 -Up or something, you know. So

00:51:33.760 --> 00:51:37.380
I go into the crapper there, and it was like

00:51:37.380 --> 00:51:42.340
both of these walls, just alongside where the

00:51:42.340 --> 00:51:45.280
urinals were, were covered in this, like, liquid

00:51:45.280 --> 00:51:48.750
shit. And I since found out through a nurse,

00:51:48.809 --> 00:51:50.989
he said they do it with a colostomy bag somehow.

00:51:51.670 --> 00:51:55.769
And I mean, it's a gag. I mean, to me, that's

00:51:55.769 --> 00:51:58.909
like you kill someone over that. So anyhow, I'm

00:51:58.909 --> 00:52:00.610
sitting there about ready to fucking gag. It

00:52:00.610 --> 00:52:04.530
smells horrible, so horrible. And anyhow, I'm

00:52:04.530 --> 00:52:06.789
dry heaving and just pissing as hard as I can.

00:52:06.829 --> 00:52:09.510
It's hurting me. And I'm pissing so hard that

00:52:09.510 --> 00:52:13.099
it's actually hurting me. I'm like, and all of

00:52:13.099 --> 00:52:15.300
a sudden this old man barges in. I think he's

00:52:15.300 --> 00:52:18.019
the owner of the store. And he points at me and

00:52:18.019 --> 00:52:20.380
he goes, I caught him. I caught him. I caught

00:52:20.380 --> 00:52:25.079
the mad shitter. And I'm like, what? And I go,

00:52:25.139 --> 00:52:27.159
I just got in here, sir. Meanwhile, I'm still

00:52:27.159 --> 00:52:29.380
trying to piss as fast as I can. I'm still dry

00:52:29.380 --> 00:52:32.380
heaving. It's him. It's him. I caught him. And

00:52:32.380 --> 00:52:35.360
I go, I just got in here. How did I shit all

00:52:35.360 --> 00:52:37.400
over everything? My pants are up. And he would

00:52:37.400 --> 00:52:40.039
not listen to me. So he starts fucking harping

00:52:40.039 --> 00:52:42.719
at me behind me while I'm leaving that place.

00:52:42.780 --> 00:52:44.900
Didn't watch my hands, nothing. Pissed all over

00:52:44.900 --> 00:52:48.280
myself. And, hey, I'm getting the fuck out of

00:52:48.280 --> 00:52:50.260
there because I'm not the mad shitter and I don't

00:52:50.260 --> 00:52:51.840
want anything. I don't want to be associated

00:52:51.840 --> 00:52:54.599
with it. So I'm, like, taking off and I'm leaving

00:52:54.599 --> 00:52:56.639
as fast as I can. I'm like, I'm getting my fucking

00:52:56.639 --> 00:52:59.059
seven up, damn it. I mean, I'm thirsty. So I

00:52:59.059 --> 00:53:00.679
go over and get my seven up and the old man's

00:53:00.679 --> 00:53:03.079
still behind me harping. Hey, Sam, Sam, I got

00:53:03.079 --> 00:53:05.989
the mad shitter. And I'm like... And I'm sitting

00:53:05.989 --> 00:53:07.449
there just, I don't know what to say at this

00:53:07.449 --> 00:53:09.469
point because he will not shut up. He will not

00:53:09.469 --> 00:53:12.429
quit fucking chirping at me from behind me. So

00:53:12.429 --> 00:53:15.130
I get up there and I'm buying my seven up. I

00:53:15.130 --> 00:53:17.369
look the lady in the eyes. I go, I just walked

00:53:17.369 --> 00:53:20.010
in there. I'm not the mad shitter. And she looks

00:53:20.010 --> 00:53:23.889
at me and goes, sure you're not. I don't think

00:53:23.889 --> 00:53:25.630
she believed me either. She thought I was the

00:53:25.630 --> 00:53:29.510
mad shitter. Yeah, so I bought my seven up and

00:53:29.510 --> 00:53:42.519
left in shame. Harambe used to listen to our

00:53:42.519 --> 00:53:44.659
original show, Two Dipshits and a Cheap Radio

00:53:44.659 --> 00:53:47.820
Shack Realistic Tape Recorder. Harambe does not

00:53:47.820 --> 00:53:50.380
listen to our original show, Two Dipshits and

00:53:50.380 --> 00:53:53.059
a Cheap Radio Shack Realistic Tape Recorder anymore.

00:53:53.780 --> 00:53:56.659
You might ask why Harambe never listens to our

00:53:56.659 --> 00:53:58.679
original show, Two Dipshits and a Cheap Radio

00:53:58.679 --> 00:54:02.139
Shack Realistic Tape Recorder. Well, it's because

00:54:02.139 --> 00:54:04.780
Harambe is dead. Senselessly murdered because

00:54:04.780 --> 00:54:07.300
some idiot did not watch her child properly while

00:54:07.300 --> 00:54:10.110
looking on her phone. Sadly, Arambe does not

00:54:10.110 --> 00:54:12.170
listen to our original show, Two Gibshits and

00:54:12.170 --> 00:54:14.210
the Cheap Radio Shack Realistic Take Recorder,

00:54:14.269 --> 00:54:27.690
or any other show. Anymore. Sorry, Arambe. Two

00:54:27.690 --> 00:54:30.150
douchebags and a microphone. I'm Mark here in

00:54:30.150 --> 00:54:32.789
the Kansas City vicinity at the Talk is Cheap

00:54:32.789 --> 00:54:48.659
studio. All right, we got some emails. And just

00:54:48.659 --> 00:54:53.639
to let you know, Rob, they are weird. We got

00:54:53.639 --> 00:54:59.480
some weird ones. Are you ready? Okay. Mark, Uranus

00:54:59.480 --> 00:55:02.380
Fudge Factory is now a gas station. Just to let

00:55:02.380 --> 00:55:06.539
you know. Nadine and Carl Junction. I'm still

00:55:06.539 --> 00:55:14.679
keeping it in there. I don't give a shit. On

00:55:14.679 --> 00:55:21.139
the new? On the new? Yeah, which is over between

00:55:21.139 --> 00:55:29.360
Walla and St. Robert. Yeah. She's over at Coral

00:55:29.360 --> 00:55:33.260
Junction over on the other side of Joplin. Yeah,

00:55:33.260 --> 00:55:37.019
yeah. Yeah, no, just driving up 44. Yeah, she

00:55:37.019 --> 00:55:40.619
might get by there. I don't know. I haven't been

00:55:40.619 --> 00:55:42.579
down there early. I haven't been down there early.

00:55:42.679 --> 00:55:44.840
long time. I thought the Fudge Factory was still

00:55:44.840 --> 00:55:46.639
there, but I'm still keeping it in the promo,

00:55:46.780 --> 00:55:52.059
in the opening. So... I'll load it up. Yeah,

00:55:52.079 --> 00:55:54.320
yeah, thank you. I'm writing it down right now.

00:55:54.579 --> 00:55:58.179
Alright, thank you. Alright, next one. Mark,

00:55:58.280 --> 00:56:00.719
have you watched the Aussie doc on Paramount?

00:56:00.800 --> 00:56:04.420
Can I get a review? Josh in Frisco, Texas. Already

00:56:04.420 --> 00:56:09.119
did that? I mean, I enjoyed it. I thought it

00:56:09.119 --> 00:56:13.739
was good. It was... Not real funny at times.

00:56:14.440 --> 00:56:19.699
And it was kind of harsh reality about how life

00:56:19.699 --> 00:56:24.880
can do. But I enjoyed it. It was good to, like

00:56:24.880 --> 00:56:27.360
I said, it gave the story of what Ozzy went through

00:56:27.360 --> 00:56:33.860
to do his final show. So I enjoyed it. And also

00:56:33.860 --> 00:56:36.659
I got the book Last Rites. And I didn't know

00:56:36.659 --> 00:56:39.119
this. I thought it was the same thing. I thought

00:56:39.119 --> 00:56:43.119
the book was... The exact same thing as the No

00:56:43.119 --> 00:56:46.900
Way Out of Here or whatever. I forgot the name

00:56:46.900 --> 00:56:50.480
of the documentary. But I thought it was the

00:56:50.480 --> 00:56:52.239
same thing. It isn't. The book is completely

00:56:52.239 --> 00:56:55.800
different than that. So far, I couldn't hardly

00:56:55.800 --> 00:56:59.400
put it down. I'm about 20 pages deep. It's completely

00:56:59.400 --> 00:57:02.219
different than No Way Out of Now or whatever.

00:57:02.380 --> 00:57:04.360
No Escape from Now, I think, is the name of the

00:57:04.360 --> 00:57:09.380
doc. All right, next one. Rob. Now, Rob, I'm

00:57:09.380 --> 00:57:11.880
telling you, this is a weird one. Answer it however

00:57:11.880 --> 00:57:17.360
you want. Okay. Rob, I'm into autoerotic asphyxiation.

00:57:17.539 --> 00:57:20.360
I'm afraid that one day I will hang myself accidentally.

00:57:20.679 --> 00:57:24.239
Any pointers on how not to hang myself? Weirdo

00:57:24.239 --> 00:57:28.599
in New Hampshire. Rob, I didn't know you were

00:57:28.599 --> 00:57:34.320
that well versed in autoerotic asphyxiation and

00:57:34.320 --> 00:57:36.780
how not to hang yourself. Do you have any proof?

00:57:39.530 --> 00:57:45.309
Okay, go ahead. Keep a sharp knife on hand. See?

00:57:45.710 --> 00:57:49.690
To cut the rope. Rob has the answer. There you

00:57:49.690 --> 00:57:51.449
go. You can go ahead and hang yourself and jerk

00:57:51.449 --> 00:57:54.690
off. Just make sure you have a knife. Yeah, just

00:57:54.690 --> 00:57:58.210
make sure you have a knife to cut the rope, the

00:57:58.210 --> 00:58:01.590
sheet, the pillowcase, whatever the fuck he is.

00:58:02.269 --> 00:58:06.010
Yeah, jerk away all you want. Just make sure

00:58:06.010 --> 00:58:18.719
you have your knife. Okay, I understand. Okay.

00:58:18.760 --> 00:58:22.599
Still a Bud's factory and general store. Okay.

00:58:23.320 --> 00:58:26.900
According to Google. Okay, then. All right. Well,

00:58:27.039 --> 00:58:29.360
then I can keep it in there legitimately now.

00:58:29.480 --> 00:58:36.559
Okay. I'm glad you checked. Thank you. What was

00:58:36.559 --> 00:58:39.760
her name? Nadine? Nadine? You're wrong. It's

00:58:39.760 --> 00:58:43.860
not my time. All right. Mark, I know you're a

00:58:43.860 --> 00:58:46.599
huge fan of churning your own butter. Could you

00:58:46.599 --> 00:58:50.460
tell me how to churn butter? Luis in Council

00:58:50.460 --> 00:58:57.219
Bluffs. Yeah. I churn my butter at this thing

00:58:57.219 --> 00:59:02.559
called the grocery store. I go in there and what

00:59:02.559 --> 00:59:04.960
I do is I go in there and I buy my own butter.

00:59:05.079 --> 00:59:08.800
And when I get home, I move it around in a circular

00:59:08.800 --> 00:59:12.340
motion. And that's what I count churning. So,

00:59:12.340 --> 00:59:16.440
Rob, you got any pointers on that? Yes, I do.

00:59:16.719 --> 00:59:21.059
I used to do it. Oh, you did? Yes. You should

00:59:21.059 --> 00:59:52.139
ask Rob that, not me. Alright, Luis. That's how

00:59:52.139 --> 00:59:57.619
they did it back in the 19 -whatevers. Back before

00:59:57.619 --> 01:00:01.699
electric. Amish still do it. Mennonites still

01:00:01.699 --> 01:00:06.699
do it. Yeah, they do. Google it. Google it, Luis.

01:00:07.239 --> 01:00:12.940
Thank you, Rob. It's easy. It's very easy. I

01:00:12.940 --> 01:00:15.139
know it is. I've never done it myself, but I've

01:00:15.139 --> 01:00:18.179
seen it done, and it's not that bad. Okay, thank

01:00:18.179 --> 01:00:22.219
you, Rob. Appreciate that. Mark, if you're going

01:00:22.219 --> 01:00:24.199
to start your own religion, what would you name

01:00:24.199 --> 01:00:29.679
it? Let's see. Okay, first off, I'm a Christian,

01:00:29.780 --> 01:00:35.099
and this is fun only. Okay. Rob, if you've got

01:00:35.099 --> 01:00:39.579
any help, interject. I'm going to call it Mark's

01:00:39.579 --> 01:00:41.980
Wayward Home for People Who Are Gullible and

01:00:41.980 --> 01:00:47.269
Lost. I would introduce a shoelace. for the main

01:00:47.269 --> 01:00:50.730
object of admiration. Everything you do in life,

01:00:50.789 --> 01:00:55.070
you present to the shoelace, and you ask for

01:00:55.070 --> 01:00:59.590
forgiveness from the shoelace. Does that sound

01:00:59.590 --> 01:01:03.630
good? Yeah. Okay. There you go. Like I said,

01:01:04.389 --> 01:01:07.650
I'm a Christian, and this is fun. I don't really

01:01:07.650 --> 01:01:12.849
mean this. Now for mine? Yeah, please. Unfortunately,

01:01:12.969 --> 01:01:21.039
the name's already taken. What is it? I love

01:01:21.039 --> 01:01:27.099
it. Perfect religion. There you go. Unfortunately,

01:01:27.480 --> 01:01:34.159
the name is taken. Yep. You ask, we give. All

01:01:34.159 --> 01:01:42.420
right. And finally. Hey, guys. Okay, this is

01:01:42.420 --> 01:01:46.940
for both of us, I guess. Another one. Yep. Hey,

01:01:47.039 --> 01:01:49.539
guys. Go ahead. I told you there's some interesting

01:01:49.539 --> 01:01:53.539
ones this time. They brought it. Hey, guys. I

01:01:53.539 --> 01:01:56.539
was wanting a good punk band name. Got any ideas?

01:01:56.639 --> 01:02:00.440
Trisha and Bristol. Bristol. I'll have to look

01:02:00.440 --> 01:02:05.059
that up. I don't know where that's at. Johnny

01:02:05.059 --> 01:02:12.360
Gash. Yeah. That's it. That's my punk rock band

01:02:12.360 --> 01:02:27.610
name. Johnny Gash. What is it? Ooze. Ooze? Ooze.

01:02:27.909 --> 01:02:32.789
Yeah, I like that too. Imagine a double bill.

01:02:33.929 --> 01:02:37.670
Don't ask me what that's on. In front of me.

01:02:38.909 --> 01:02:43.190
I'm not sure I want to know. Don't ask. I'm not

01:02:43.190 --> 01:02:48.510
asking. Imagine that, a double bill. Johnny Dash

01:02:48.510 --> 01:02:51.150
and Ooze tonight at the Beaumont. I'd go, wouldn't

01:02:51.150 --> 01:02:56.159
you? I would definitely go there. Johnny Gash

01:02:56.159 --> 01:02:59.440
and Ooze. Fuck yeah. That does sound like a good

01:02:59.440 --> 01:03:01.719
idea. Oh yeah, everybody load up in the fucking

01:03:01.719 --> 01:03:07.360
Skylark. Let's fucking get there. Wow. Alright,

01:03:07.579 --> 01:03:11.079
that's all for emails. I'm telling you, these

01:03:11.079 --> 01:03:13.380
were great. I hope people keep sending... Yeah,

01:03:13.380 --> 01:03:15.559
those were good. Those were good. There was not

01:03:15.559 --> 01:03:18.500
a bad one in that whole deal. That was some off

01:03:18.500 --> 01:03:23.389
-the -wall shit there. Yeah, it was. That's cool.

01:03:24.230 --> 01:03:27.349
All right, Rob, we turn to you. And then I got

01:03:27.349 --> 01:03:30.849
a Jeffy X after that. Oh, great, great, great.

01:03:31.010 --> 01:03:35.949
Well, I'm going to go into Rob's bag of garbage.

01:03:36.329 --> 01:04:17.010
Sounds great to me. Wow. Yeah, it was a rare

01:04:17.010 --> 01:04:20.889
genetic disorder. It wasn't antivirus, but it

01:04:20.889 --> 01:04:25.050
tested as antivirus poisoning. Wow. And then

01:04:25.050 --> 01:04:28.449
she had another baby, and the same thing happened.

01:04:28.690 --> 01:04:32.550
Yeah, she had the baby while she was in prison.

01:04:34.230 --> 01:04:38.230
Wow. And it tested positive. I feel sorry for

01:04:38.230 --> 01:04:40.849
her because not only did she lose a child, she

01:04:40.849 --> 01:04:43.380
went to prison for it. And then she lost another

01:04:43.380 --> 01:04:48.420
child. Yeah. But she didn't get released because

01:04:48.420 --> 01:04:55.019
it was proven. Because it was what? It was proven

01:04:55.019 --> 01:05:01.300
that she did not kill the first one. Okay. Wow.

01:05:17.800 --> 01:06:08.619
Okay. Oh my gosh. Oh, dude, yeah, they went all

01:06:08.619 --> 01:06:11.000
out on this one, didn't they? Yeah, they did.

01:07:14.750 --> 01:07:20.710
Yes. I remember that. That was a funny story.

01:07:21.050 --> 01:07:25.389
That's a great story right there. Yeah. You'd

01:07:25.389 --> 01:07:30.969
think they'd smell it, right? You're a Woodstock.

01:07:32.809 --> 01:07:36.929
You're a Woodstock. You ain't smelling shit.

01:07:37.429 --> 01:07:41.739
Literally. They're on the windowpane. They're

01:07:41.739 --> 01:07:43.679
on the four -way windowpane. They're fucking

01:07:43.679 --> 01:07:46.599
seeing all kinds of cool shit. And they're not

01:07:46.599 --> 01:07:49.260
worried about it. They don't even know anything's

01:07:49.260 --> 01:07:51.679
there. They're in another fucking world. Wow.

01:07:52.059 --> 01:08:08.739
No shit. Yeah, wow. Man, you reached deep for

01:08:08.739 --> 01:08:12.760
that one, Rob. You're right. Yeah, that was way

01:08:12.760 --> 01:08:16.720
down at the bottom. Yeah. Very good. All right.

01:08:17.220 --> 01:08:20.060
All right. Let's take our second break. I'll

01:08:20.060 --> 01:08:24.439
come back with Jeffy X's list of stretch versions,

01:08:24.539 --> 01:08:26.399
like the stretch yogurt we were talking about

01:08:26.399 --> 01:08:30.159
earlier that New Guy so very surly informed us

01:08:30.159 --> 01:08:33.619
about. Well, Jackie X got us a list of stretchy

01:08:33.619 --> 01:08:36.960
versions of products that failed, so we'll be

01:08:36.960 --> 01:08:42.319
right back. This here podcast has Mark's personal

01:08:42.319 --> 01:08:45.720
stamp of approval. The only problem is Mark likes

01:08:45.720 --> 01:08:48.699
to spit on his stamps, and he's a horrible animal.

01:08:53.800 --> 01:08:58.579
Strange, but true. There's a cave that kills

01:08:58.579 --> 01:09:01.170
you if you go inside. It's called the well of

01:09:01.170 --> 01:09:04.329
hell in Yemen. And the air inside is so toxic

01:09:04.329 --> 01:09:06.050
that just breathing it can make you collapse.

01:09:06.510 --> 01:09:09.229
Scientists think it's a mix of sulfur and poisonous

01:09:09.229 --> 01:09:12.149
gases, but no one's explored it to fully know

01:09:12.149 --> 01:09:14.989
why. Because rotes melt before they hit the bottom.

01:09:17.470 --> 01:09:20.109
So you want proof that we love you here at QD

01:09:20.109 --> 01:09:22.869
Spades and Microphone Central? Here's a proof

01:09:22.869 --> 01:09:26.409
right here about the drink of the week. Hey,

01:09:26.449 --> 01:09:29.470
my party pilgrims. How about Norwegian's famous

01:09:29.470 --> 01:09:33.069
pineapple coconut mojito? One and a quarter ounce

01:09:33.069 --> 01:09:35.590
Bacardi coconut rum, one ounce pineapple puree,

01:09:35.850 --> 01:09:38.869
three pieces of lime wedges, six pieces of mint

01:09:38.869 --> 01:09:41.810
leaves, and one half ounce of simple syrup. You

01:09:41.810 --> 01:09:44.689
garnish ginger candy on a pick, orange wilt,

01:09:44.770 --> 01:09:49.670
and a mint sprig. Take a 12 ounce glass, shake

01:09:49.670 --> 01:09:52.609
all ingredients together, and strain over fresh

01:09:52.609 --> 01:09:55.939
ice and top with soda. How about a splash of

01:09:55.939 --> 01:09:58.100
7 -Up Sprite or ginger ale just for a little

01:09:58.100 --> 01:10:02.500
extra pizzazz? Now, from his underground bunker

01:10:02.500 --> 01:10:05.340
in Camden, Missouri, a stock full of dried goods,

01:10:05.680 --> 01:10:08.399
canned food, and a couple of vibrating toys,

01:10:08.779 --> 01:10:12.199
is Ramblings of a Madman, featuring Rob Rad.

01:10:12.859 --> 01:10:17.300
When everything is coming your way, you're in

01:10:17.300 --> 01:10:23.100
the wrong line. Somewhere in the heavens, your

01:10:23.100 --> 01:10:25.779
great Grammy -winning... Gertrude is crying because

01:10:25.779 --> 01:10:30.220
her little Bebo is listening to this film. Your

01:10:30.220 --> 01:10:33.359
mom is so ugly, her portraits hang themselves.

01:10:34.159 --> 01:10:38.520
Next up, Things Overheard in Hell. It moves everybody.

01:10:38.739 --> 01:10:42.100
Candy corn has had a bumper crop. Everybody can

01:10:42.100 --> 01:10:47.560
have as much as they want. Yay! Now it's time

01:10:47.560 --> 01:10:50.140
for Pick Up Lines from a Loser. If you were a

01:10:50.140 --> 01:10:57.210
fruit. You would be a fine apple. Oh, shit. What's

01:10:57.210 --> 01:11:01.229
that over there? Oh, no. It's the island of horrible

01:11:01.229 --> 01:11:10.510
jokes. I can't take my dog to the lake. The ducks

01:11:10.510 --> 01:11:14.449
keep attacking him. That's what I get for having

01:11:14.449 --> 01:13:52.119
a pure friend. You watch the news. It looks grim.

01:13:52.479 --> 01:13:56.359
Is an apocalypse inevitable? We suggest you download

01:13:56.359 --> 01:13:59.560
all our podcasts beforehand and have multiple

01:13:59.560 --> 01:14:03.680
mobile chargers. We have the post -apocalypse.

01:14:05.560 --> 01:14:09.159
Remember, communication is essential post -apocalypse.

01:14:09.439 --> 01:14:12.880
You must have two re -radios that are solar chargeable.

01:14:13.300 --> 01:14:16.939
Have several on hand in case any of them do break.

01:14:17.659 --> 01:14:20.500
That way, if one is out guarding the perimeter

01:14:20.500 --> 01:14:24.039
of your property or out gathering food or whatever,

01:14:24.340 --> 01:14:28.260
you can stay in communication and know where

01:14:28.260 --> 01:14:34.260
the other person is. This is Joshua Belmont,

01:14:34.319 --> 01:14:37.119
your food for thought man on The Hustle. So I

01:14:37.119 --> 01:14:39.199
just realized a genius that gets absolutely no

01:14:39.199 --> 01:14:42.659
credit. His name is Marshall Taylor. He's credited

01:14:42.659 --> 01:14:44.979
with the first bag of salad mix that was bagged

01:14:44.979 --> 01:14:49.279
and sold. Yesterday. was his birthday. I believe

01:14:49.279 --> 01:14:52.079
he is still alive. This guy's genius will never

01:14:52.079 --> 01:14:55.380
be fully appreciated. Before this man, we settled

01:14:55.380 --> 01:14:57.840
for iceberg lettuce with maybe a couple of croutons

01:14:57.840 --> 01:15:00.760
and some cheese. Was Mr. Taylor satisfied with

01:15:00.760 --> 01:15:04.180
that? Hell no. He realized that Billy Americana

01:15:04.180 --> 01:15:06.159
would never go out and buy a couple of radishes,

01:15:06.380 --> 01:15:08.600
a couple of carrots, a head of purple cabbage,

01:15:08.779 --> 01:15:11.420
maybe snow peas, and possibly some cute romaine

01:15:11.420 --> 01:15:15.319
lettuce for extra bougie. Mr. Taylor. You should

01:15:15.319 --> 01:15:22.380
have a national holiday. Hello, this is Satan.

01:15:22.640 --> 01:15:26.680
You might know me from my pet name, Inflation.

01:15:27.640 --> 01:15:30.640
I'm here to tell you that there's no better way

01:15:30.640 --> 01:15:34.640
to relax than listening to two douchebags in

01:15:34.640 --> 01:15:38.859
a microphone by a nice warm fire at night. I

01:15:38.859 --> 01:15:41.960
sit there and I reflect on all the souls I burned

01:15:41.960 --> 01:15:49.750
that day. Enjoy. Hey there, slap nuts. It's time

01:15:49.750 --> 01:15:55.210
for the Creeps Music News. Hey, my little pumpkin

01:15:55.210 --> 01:15:57.930
seeds. This is Johnny Rohypnol with your music

01:15:57.930 --> 01:16:01.369
news. This November, Bad Company will be inducted

01:16:01.369 --> 01:16:03.989
into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Only two

01:16:03.989 --> 01:16:06.890
of the band's original members remain, Paul Rogers,

01:16:07.170 --> 01:16:10.489
the singer, and drummer Simon Kirk. the latter

01:16:10.489 --> 01:16:12.310
of which said the odds of them performing at

01:16:12.310 --> 01:16:15.550
this ceremony are very good. It's not a definite

01:16:15.550 --> 01:16:18.670
just yet, though. I don't know. I know that we've

01:16:18.670 --> 01:16:20.630
been approached to play a couple of songs Kirk

01:16:20.630 --> 01:16:22.909
recently explained to Defenders of the Faith

01:16:22.909 --> 01:16:25.670
podcast. I've spoken with Paul. Paul's health,

01:16:25.770 --> 01:16:28.409
as you know, is not good. But I think I'm crossing

01:16:28.409 --> 01:16:30.550
my fingers that we will be able to play at least

01:16:30.550 --> 01:16:33.329
one song. I don't know what that is yet, and

01:16:33.329 --> 01:16:34.989
I don't even know who's going to be inducting

01:16:34.989 --> 01:16:39.810
us yet. Simon, we hope you are correct. We would

01:16:39.810 --> 01:16:43.029
love to hear one last song from you two. This

01:16:43.029 --> 01:16:46.149
is Johnny Rohypnol. That was your music news.

01:16:46.289 --> 01:17:02.869
And remember, bar chords are bullshit. Two douchebags

01:17:02.869 --> 01:17:04.789
and a microphone. I'm Mark here in the Kansas

01:17:04.789 --> 01:17:20.390
City area at the Talk is Cheap studio. um all

01:17:20.390 --> 01:17:24.210
right like i previously said jeffy x came out

01:17:24.210 --> 01:17:28.550
with a list of um products they came out with

01:17:28.550 --> 01:17:30.829
stretch versions but they failed you know just

01:17:30.829 --> 01:17:34.069
like the stretch yogurt that the new guy um very

01:17:34.069 --> 01:17:40.289
surly ish told us so all right the first stretchy

01:17:40.289 --> 01:17:44.689
object that they tried to uh sell but it you

01:17:44.689 --> 01:17:47.430
know the it didn't get past the focus panels

01:17:47.430 --> 01:17:51.229
was um Airplanes. Stretch airplanes did not work,

01:17:51.310 --> 01:17:57.710
Rob. Can you believe that? I don't know. You'd

01:17:57.710 --> 01:18:00.229
think air would be cool, you know. A little bit

01:18:00.229 --> 01:18:04.229
more legroom. Yeah, hell yeah. Always use more

01:18:04.229 --> 01:18:08.390
legroom. Yeah, more people, more legroom, all

01:18:08.390 --> 01:18:11.289
that. But no, no. Stretch airplanes, nope, didn't

01:18:11.289 --> 01:18:14.789
work. The next one I think I can kind of see.

01:18:15.810 --> 01:18:20.670
Stretch dentures. I think I could kind of see

01:18:20.670 --> 01:18:23.810
that, you know? Yeah, yeah, you don't want your

01:18:23.810 --> 01:18:26.510
dishes, you want to stay right in place. Yeah,

01:18:26.510 --> 01:18:28.930
yeah, they start stretching, you know, food's

01:18:28.930 --> 01:18:31.189
like falling everywhere, and you know, they're

01:18:31.189 --> 01:18:34.229
like chomping like nuts and looking crazy. So

01:18:34.229 --> 01:18:37.289
yeah, yeah, so I get that. The next one, this

01:18:37.289 --> 01:18:40.409
one I really do understand. Stretch elevator

01:18:40.409 --> 01:18:48.199
cables. Did not go over well. You know? I mean,

01:18:48.239 --> 01:18:50.859
I understand that. You know, they're going down

01:18:50.859 --> 01:18:53.300
to one and all of a sudden the cable stretches

01:18:53.300 --> 01:18:56.340
and they fucking hit the floor. I get it, you

01:18:56.340 --> 01:18:59.399
know? Yeah. Yeah. But you know what they say

01:18:59.399 --> 01:19:02.140
to do if your elevator ever, like, comes disattached

01:19:02.140 --> 01:19:05.819
and starts falling? Lay flat on the ground. They

01:19:05.819 --> 01:19:08.380
say you'll be fine. But if you're standing, you'll

01:19:08.380 --> 01:19:12.720
probably die. Yeah. You'll pass around like a

01:19:12.720 --> 01:19:15.359
pinball. Yes. But if you lay flat... Seriously.

01:19:16.630 --> 01:19:19.050
Yes, seriously. It'll knock the piss out of you.

01:19:19.109 --> 01:19:23.550
You'll feel like hell, but you'll live. Or you

01:19:23.550 --> 01:19:25.810
could lay on your back. I say you probably lay

01:19:25.810 --> 01:19:28.350
on your back even better, but you might hit your

01:19:28.350 --> 01:19:31.789
head. I don't know. Use somebody as a pillow.

01:19:32.329 --> 01:19:35.109
Grab the smallest person there. Use them as a

01:19:35.109 --> 01:19:38.409
pillow for percussion. Yeah, roll over on top

01:19:38.409 --> 01:19:52.300
of you. Yes, there you go. Yep. Yep. I think

01:19:52.300 --> 01:20:09.380
we need them. I mean, what's Clint going to do?

01:20:14.000 --> 01:20:17.579
Yes, I'm thinking that we do. We do need it.

01:20:17.579 --> 01:20:25.600
Rob, 100%. I wish they would have passed. The

01:20:25.600 --> 01:20:28.560
next one that did not work was stretch toilet

01:20:28.560 --> 01:20:36.800
paper. Yeah. What the hell? You know what? I

01:20:36.800 --> 01:20:38.579
cannot speak for these people. I don't know what

01:20:38.579 --> 01:20:41.000
they're thinking when they deny it. It's a retail

01:20:41.000 --> 01:20:45.550
thing. Yeah. Yeah, they don't want... You keep

01:20:45.550 --> 01:20:49.470
it cheaply made, they gotta buy more. Yeah. Instead

01:20:49.470 --> 01:20:53.550
of stretching their money. Yeah. Yep, I agree.

01:20:54.390 --> 01:20:59.069
Yep. Yep, that's it. Yeah, they don't want you...

01:20:59.069 --> 01:21:01.609
Yeah, they don't want you to have any more toilet

01:21:01.609 --> 01:21:03.789
paper than what, you know, they want you to buy

01:21:03.789 --> 01:21:07.649
more, so no stretch. Yeah, yep, yep. The next

01:21:07.649 --> 01:21:09.390
one, I think I get this too, because it would

01:21:09.390 --> 01:21:11.170
be a pain in the ass, but think about it, okay?

01:21:11.670 --> 01:21:17.520
Stretch spaghetti. though. The motherfuckers

01:21:17.520 --> 01:21:20.479
are lawing up now. Yeah, I get that. Yeah, I'd

01:21:20.479 --> 01:21:22.539
be like, what the fuck, man? This stuff never

01:21:22.539 --> 01:21:28.199
ends. One edge of your stomach while the other

01:21:28.199 --> 01:21:31.520
one's just entering your mouth as it is. Yeah.

01:21:31.899 --> 01:21:36.899
Yep. Yeah, I see why that would work. Yeah, yep.

01:21:37.960 --> 01:21:40.439
The next one, and I think I get this one too,

01:21:40.500 --> 01:21:45.939
is stretch contact lenses. Be a pain in the ass

01:21:45.939 --> 01:21:51.000
to put on. No, no. Well, I could see why that

01:21:51.000 --> 01:21:58.680
would work. Stretch contact lenses. That would

01:21:58.680 --> 01:22:03.420
interfere with the alcohol and the marijuana.

01:22:03.600 --> 01:22:06.579
Oh, everything. Yeah, yeah. It would make you

01:22:06.579 --> 01:22:11.239
feel messed up. Yep. All right, we get that one,

01:22:11.279 --> 01:22:13.699
too. This next one I get also, although it would

01:22:13.699 --> 01:22:19.960
be fun, though. is stretch concrete. Oh, yeah.

01:22:20.220 --> 01:22:23.500
Come on. I know. I don't know what these people

01:22:23.500 --> 01:22:26.260
are thinking, why they denied it. I mean, stretch

01:22:26.260 --> 01:22:29.119
concrete sounds like a lot of fun to me. What

01:22:29.119 --> 01:22:34.460
about you? Yeah, it'd be like a bouncy house.

01:22:34.859 --> 01:22:39.359
Yeah, yep. Yeah, I don't know what these people

01:22:39.359 --> 01:22:43.359
are thinking. The next one is stretch shoelaces.

01:22:46.799 --> 01:22:55.119
Yeah, I don't know why they make replacements

01:22:55.119 --> 01:22:59.979
so long. Oh my gosh, it sucks. Seriously, I go

01:22:59.979 --> 01:23:03.859
buy replacements. I end up cutting part of them

01:23:03.859 --> 01:23:06.539
off and burning the ends just so they don't break.

01:23:07.260 --> 01:23:10.380
I do too. Because their damn laces are so damn

01:23:10.380 --> 01:23:14.520
long. I know, I don't get it. I wish they'd make

01:23:14.520 --> 01:23:17.340
shorter versions that just fit your shoes and

01:23:17.340 --> 01:23:21.520
that was it. Well, that's what the package says.

01:23:22.699 --> 01:23:25.460
But you got an extra tooth for it all the time.

01:23:25.739 --> 01:23:28.680
I know, it sucks. It's like you can wrap it around

01:23:28.680 --> 01:23:31.279
your ankles like four times and still have enough

01:23:31.279 --> 01:23:34.500
to tie your shoe. It's crazy. You could make

01:23:34.500 --> 01:23:37.520
another shoe string. Hell yeah, you could. Yeah,

01:23:37.539 --> 01:23:39.340
you could cut them in half and use them on two

01:23:39.340 --> 01:23:45.689
shoes. Yeah, for real. No joke, but kind of.

01:23:45.789 --> 01:23:49.329
So, all right. The next one is steering wheels.

01:23:50.229 --> 01:23:52.229
I think I get that. You know, that'd be kind

01:23:52.229 --> 01:23:56.550
of hard to navigate, wouldn't it? Oh, yeah. Yeah,

01:23:56.970 --> 01:23:58.989
you'd be like, what the fuck? How come? Jeez,

01:23:59.210 --> 01:24:03.710
man, this sucks. Yeah. You think buses are hard

01:24:03.710 --> 01:24:09.609
to drive. Yeah. Yeah. Yep. That's too much work.

01:24:10.270 --> 01:24:13.600
Yep. Especially if you don't have power steering.

01:24:14.840 --> 01:24:18.239
Oh, gosh. You wouldn't be able to. I don't think

01:24:18.239 --> 01:24:20.000
you'd be able to. It keeps stretching on you

01:24:20.000 --> 01:24:22.479
all the time. We're going back to the 50s and

01:24:22.479 --> 01:24:26.180
60s. Oh, my gosh. People do not understand. They

01:24:26.180 --> 01:24:28.739
will never understand that we're not there doing

01:24:28.739 --> 01:24:32.560
it. No power steering driving a vehicle with

01:24:32.560 --> 01:24:35.600
no power steering sucks ass. Oh, my God. It will

01:24:35.600 --> 01:24:38.760
put muscles in your shit. You'd not believe it.

01:24:38.760 --> 01:24:41.039
Why do you think I'm so strong? My dad's 60.

01:24:44.960 --> 01:24:51.340
Yep, my... Oh, yeah. Yeah, that was back when

01:24:51.340 --> 01:24:52.859
they didn't give a shit, man. They didn't do

01:24:52.859 --> 01:24:56.420
188. They were like, okay, yeah. Yeah, what's

01:24:56.420 --> 01:24:58.680
wrong with making a car that does 180? Nah, we

01:24:58.680 --> 01:25:11.409
don't care. And then finally... Yes. And he did

01:25:11.409 --> 01:25:20.569
too, didn't he? No. He didn't? No. He learned

01:25:20.569 --> 01:25:39.770
the first time he watched everybody else. That's

01:25:39.770 --> 01:25:44.109
it right there. That's a smart man there. Let

01:25:44.109 --> 01:25:46.010
everyone else do it, and I'll just stand back

01:25:46.010 --> 01:26:17.909
and watch. We ended up turning around with the

01:26:17.909 --> 01:26:21.270
old rig. We had to turn around and come back

01:26:21.270 --> 01:26:26.989
down. I have yet to be at the top by speed. I

01:26:26.989 --> 01:26:30.989
was there one time. Pretty cool. I need to go

01:26:30.989 --> 01:26:33.829
back though because I want to go back nowadays.

01:26:36.069 --> 01:26:39.750
I was 15. That was my very last family vacation

01:26:39.750 --> 01:26:44.270
with my family. Oh, okay. Well, too bad you didn't

01:26:44.270 --> 01:26:48.100
make it. One of these days you might. Alright,

01:26:48.180 --> 01:26:52.239
and then finally, bulldozer blades. Stretch bulldozer

01:26:52.239 --> 01:26:55.260
blades. I think I get that. You know, you're

01:26:55.260 --> 01:26:57.079
trying to move some land and it keeps stretching

01:26:57.079 --> 01:27:00.000
on you and won't move the land. I think I got

01:27:00.000 --> 01:27:07.180
it. Yeah. And that is all. Thank you, JeffyX.

01:27:07.260 --> 01:27:09.199
We appreciate it. And I didn't even tell the

01:27:09.199 --> 01:27:11.779
story of JeffyX because we probably don't have

01:27:11.779 --> 01:27:16.680
enough time. So, All right, next time around

01:27:16.680 --> 01:27:18.840
when we do Jeffy X, I will give the full story

01:27:18.840 --> 01:27:22.819
of Jeffy X, okay? All right. All right. Rob,

01:27:23.020 --> 01:27:29.020
you got something? Yes, I do. I just, I told

01:27:29.020 --> 01:27:31.319
you I would have Sunday night. Well, guess what?

01:27:31.399 --> 01:27:34.779
I'm joining you on the spot. Well, they share

01:27:34.779 --> 01:27:38.159
the last name and both have connections to Missouri

01:27:38.159 --> 01:27:55.359
politics. Okay. Okay, that's good to hear. All

01:27:55.359 --> 01:28:00.659
right. Thank you, Rob. Thanks for looking that

01:28:00.659 --> 01:28:25.479
up. Yes. An update. That's the word I was looking

01:28:25.479 --> 01:28:56.329
for. Okay. I have an update. Okay. I didn't just

01:28:56.329 --> 01:30:07.039
say Missouri, but he was from Springfield. And

01:30:07.039 --> 01:30:11.359
additional tests are completed, including trying

01:30:11.359 --> 01:30:15.039
to obtain DNA samples from the bear that matched

01:30:15.039 --> 01:30:19.279
the victim according to the release. But you

01:30:19.279 --> 01:30:21.819
think about it, yeah, there would be DNA samples

01:30:21.819 --> 01:30:25.479
on the remains. Yeah, there would be. I did not

01:30:25.479 --> 01:30:29.619
think about that. I didn't either. The man's

01:30:29.619 --> 01:30:32.819
death has been ruled as an animal mauling, according

01:30:32.819 --> 01:31:23.899
to the sheriff's office. Did you see the list

01:31:23.899 --> 01:31:26.359
of rules they say that you need to follow now

01:31:26.359 --> 01:31:31.739
whenever you camp down there? No, I have not

01:31:31.739 --> 01:31:35.380
read the rule list yet. They say if you grill

01:31:35.380 --> 01:31:39.960
food in your clothes... There's a bear tag of

01:31:39.960 --> 01:31:43.300
some people down there. I ain't going. No, I'm

01:31:43.300 --> 01:31:46.939
not either, but people still do. They say that

01:31:46.939 --> 01:31:50.180
you shouldn't wear the same clothes after you

01:31:50.180 --> 01:31:53.149
grill food. You take those clothes and wash them

01:31:53.149 --> 01:31:55.890
or put them away somewhere. You don't leave food

01:31:55.890 --> 01:31:58.250
in your car. You don't leave food in the trash

01:31:58.250 --> 01:32:02.289
can. There's like a set of rules that you need.

01:32:02.329 --> 01:32:04.109
If you're going to go camping, you need to look

01:32:04.109 --> 01:32:06.029
at, especially in like southern Missouri, northern

01:32:06.029 --> 01:32:08.649
Arkansas, where the bears are attacking people.

01:32:08.890 --> 01:32:12.729
And my theory is it's been very dry, and I think

01:32:12.729 --> 01:32:14.189
that they're having a hard time getting food,

01:32:14.270 --> 01:32:17.739
and it's hibernation season. They have to stack

01:32:17.739 --> 01:32:20.180
up on food. They have to have enormous amount

01:32:20.180 --> 01:32:22.819
of calories in them to go to sleep for that long

01:32:22.819 --> 01:32:26.180
and survive. So they're looking for food. And

01:32:26.180 --> 01:32:28.520
sometimes I think, you know, a person looks like

01:32:28.520 --> 01:32:33.159
a pretty tasty snack, right? Yeah, I guess. I

01:32:33.159 --> 01:32:38.960
mean, I don't know. You know, it's 921. I want

01:32:38.960 --> 01:32:40.880
to do the Crumb Olympics, but I think maybe we

01:32:40.880 --> 01:32:42.800
ought to just end it right here because you've

01:32:42.800 --> 01:32:47.720
got to work in the morning. So, all right, we'll

01:32:47.720 --> 01:32:51.340
do the Crumb Olympics. We did take a late first

01:32:51.340 --> 01:32:54.920
break, too. We've been pushing it. We have been.

01:32:54.960 --> 01:32:57.960
We've been pushing it, so. Yeah, we took a late

01:32:57.960 --> 01:32:59.979
first break, and we've been pushing it since.

01:33:00.239 --> 01:33:02.319
We've been watching. Yeah, yeah. I can tell.

01:33:02.680 --> 01:33:05.319
So, we'll just go ahead and do the Crumb Olympics

01:33:05.319 --> 01:33:09.060
next podcast. Sunday night. Yep. Sunday night,

01:33:09.199 --> 01:33:14.970
yes. Yep. So, all right. Hello, Hicksville. Hello,

01:33:15.210 --> 01:33:18.409
Albuquerque. Hello, Grandma Opal, Jimmy, and

01:33:18.409 --> 01:33:22.029
Ricky. Thank you, everybody, for listening. Good

01:33:22.029 --> 01:33:26.289
night, assholes. I can't. Yeah, it's so damn

01:33:26.289 --> 01:33:29.529
bad. Thank you, everybody. Good night, assholes.

01:33:29.890 --> 01:33:34.170
Good night, assholes. Oh, no. Looks like the

01:33:34.170 --> 01:33:37.210
show's over, kids. Mark has explosive diarrhea

01:33:37.210 --> 01:33:41.239
and can't afford a wireless mic. Fear not, assholes.

01:33:41.359 --> 01:33:43.500
They'll be back invading your ear holes soon.