WEBVTT

00:00:09.279 --> 00:00:32.399
Thank you. Thank you. Welcome again. We're happy

00:00:32.399 --> 00:00:35.600
you chose us. Come on in. Wash yourself off.

00:00:36.100 --> 00:00:39.380
Would you enjoy a bourbon and coke? There's a

00:00:39.380 --> 00:00:41.880
liquor store down the road. If you go, I need

00:00:41.880 --> 00:00:45.399
rolling papers. Well, since you're here, let's

00:00:45.399 --> 00:00:47.520
get this daily douchebag pledge out of the way.

00:00:48.500 --> 00:00:51.100
All right, bitches, swing your hips and pelvic

00:00:51.100 --> 00:00:54.479
thrust. Shout it out with me. I, Joe or Jane

00:00:54.479 --> 00:00:56.880
Listener, promise to download every podcast.

00:00:57.799 --> 00:01:01.200
I. Joe or Jane Listener promised to make all

00:01:01.200 --> 00:01:03.600
friends, family members, and workmates download

00:01:03.600 --> 00:01:07.099
the show. I, Joe or Jane Listener, promised to

00:01:07.099 --> 00:01:09.799
grab idle computers, work computers, friends

00:01:09.799 --> 00:01:12.900
computers, community computers, and other assorted

00:01:12.900 --> 00:01:15.019
phones and listening devices and download the

00:01:15.019 --> 00:01:18.780
show from there. I, Joe or Jane Listener, will

00:01:18.780 --> 00:01:21.420
download the show and constantly barrage everyone

00:01:21.420 --> 00:01:24.980
with show name and platforms. I, Joe or Jane

00:01:24.980 --> 00:01:27.579
Listener, promise to wear a chicken costume and

00:01:27.579 --> 00:01:30.560
scream the show's name from my front yard. And

00:01:30.560 --> 00:01:32.920
finally, because of our 13 -year -old boy humor,

00:01:33.159 --> 00:01:36.659
we must go to Knoblick Cooter Licking in Uranus,

00:01:36.659 --> 00:01:39.719
Missouri to take selfies with the signs. If you

00:01:39.719 --> 00:01:43.879
go to Uranus, go to the Pudge Factory. Yes, there's

00:01:43.879 --> 00:01:49.349
a Pudge Factory in Uranus. No joke. Here at Two

00:01:49.349 --> 00:01:51.909
Douchebags and a Microphone, we don't stand behind

00:01:51.909 --> 00:01:54.989
our journalistic integrity. Go ahead and assume

00:01:54.989 --> 00:01:58.310
we got the story wrong. At least we admit it.

00:01:58.629 --> 00:02:01.650
Not like all those other guys, we can and will

00:02:01.650 --> 00:02:06.170
lie if it makes the story better. Two douchebags

00:02:06.170 --> 00:02:18.479
and a microphone. Next up. Things overheard in

00:02:18.479 --> 00:02:23.560
hell. Well, that new Hanson CD is just a laptop.

00:02:23.960 --> 00:02:28.159
Uh -huh. You watched the news. It looks grim.

00:02:28.479 --> 00:02:32.379
Is an apocalypse inevitable? We suggest you download

00:02:32.379 --> 00:02:35.620
all our podcasts beforehand and have multiple

00:02:35.620 --> 00:02:39.680
mobile chargers. We have the post -apocalypse.

00:02:41.460 --> 00:02:45.520
Remember, post -apocalypse to have a sewage bit.

00:02:46.039 --> 00:02:51.020
Sewage untreated can result in serious illness

00:02:51.020 --> 00:02:54.620
and other obstacles for your family to live well.

00:02:55.159 --> 00:02:58.159
You also should have some chemicals stocked up,

00:02:58.259 --> 00:03:01.180
maybe bags of chlorine or something of such,

00:03:01.219 --> 00:03:06.979
to sanitize the sewage per week. Hey fellas,

00:03:07.159 --> 00:03:10.199
remember to wipe away from the twins. Stay fresh

00:03:10.199 --> 00:03:17.469
ideas from the douchebags. Harambe used to listen

00:03:17.469 --> 00:03:19.610
to our original show, Two Dipshits and a Cheap

00:03:19.610 --> 00:03:22.490
Radio Shack Realistic Tape Recorder. Harambe

00:03:22.490 --> 00:03:25.389
does not listen to our original show, Two Dipshits

00:03:25.389 --> 00:03:27.870
and a Cheap Radio Shack Realistic Tape Recorder

00:03:27.870 --> 00:03:31.449
anymore. You might ask why Harambe never listens

00:03:31.449 --> 00:03:33.669
to our original show, Two Dipshits and a Cheap

00:03:33.669 --> 00:03:37.009
Radio Shack Realistic Tape Recorder. Well, it's

00:03:37.009 --> 00:03:39.650
because Harambe is dead. Senselessly murdered

00:03:39.650 --> 00:03:42.189
because some idiot did not watch her child properly

00:03:42.189 --> 00:03:45.020
while looking on her phone. Sadly, Arambe does

00:03:45.020 --> 00:03:47.199
not listen to our original show, Two Gibshits

00:03:47.199 --> 00:03:49.379
and the Cheap Radio Shedack Realistic Dig Recorder,

00:03:49.439 --> 00:03:54.039
or any other show. Anymore. Sorry, Arambe. Your

00:03:54.039 --> 00:03:57.580
mama's so stupid, she tried to climb Mountain

00:03:57.580 --> 00:04:01.639
Dew. Sir, I see your qualifications here. May

00:04:01.639 --> 00:04:03.479
I ask some further questions that could help

00:04:03.479 --> 00:04:06.439
me determine your employment eligibility? Yes,

00:04:06.439 --> 00:04:09.300
sir. I'm ready. Well, as you can see here, we

00:04:09.300 --> 00:04:11.780
have a large population of different ethnic backgrounds,

00:04:12.039 --> 00:04:16.399
sexuality, and ages. Are you by chance bilingual?

00:04:16.980 --> 00:04:19.740
Well, sir, I'm not sure why you need that kind

00:04:19.740 --> 00:04:22.579
of information, but, well, it was only one time

00:04:22.579 --> 00:04:25.500
in summer camp. I considered it experimental.

00:04:30.399 --> 00:04:33.000
Two douchebags, a microphone, and an effort to

00:04:33.000 --> 00:04:38.189
keep everything fresh. We offer you first world

00:04:38.189 --> 00:04:46.250
problems. My 76 inch smart HDMI, triphonic, stereo

00:04:46.250 --> 00:04:50.329
TV. My remote won't work unless I'm right in

00:04:50.329 --> 00:04:54.430
front of it. I can't believe it. This is bullshit.

00:05:04.170 --> 00:05:06.410
Two douchebags and a microphone. I'm Mark here

00:05:06.410 --> 00:05:08.269
in the Kansas City area at the Talk is Cheap

00:05:08.269 --> 00:05:13.649
studio. And I am Rob at the beautiful Niagara

00:05:13.649 --> 00:05:16.509
Arm of Lake of the Ozarks at the Gut Quiet studio.

00:05:17.069 --> 00:05:23.189
For now. Yep, there we go. The for now. Over

00:05:23.189 --> 00:05:28.129
the weekend, pop star Chappelle Roan. Have you

00:05:28.129 --> 00:05:35.660
ever heard of her? Yes. Well, around Willard,

00:05:35.740 --> 00:05:41.939
yes. Yeah, outside Springfield, yes. She played

00:05:41.939 --> 00:05:45.120
two sold -out shows at the Liberty Memorial.

00:05:46.620 --> 00:05:50.360
Oh, cool. Yeah, yeah. I drove by there on my

00:05:50.360 --> 00:05:53.120
way to work, and at 8 a .m. there were teeny

00:05:53.120 --> 00:05:56.800
boppers already waiting in line, and the concert

00:05:56.800 --> 00:05:59.019
didn't start until well after 7 that evening.

00:05:59.199 --> 00:06:01.079
I couldn't believe it. This is at 8 in the morning.

00:06:01.120 --> 00:06:03.660
They're out there. just sitting there listening

00:06:03.660 --> 00:06:06.279
to stuff, you know, had their headphones on and

00:06:06.279 --> 00:06:07.959
stuff. There was quite a few people out there

00:06:07.959 --> 00:06:11.540
waiting. I was like, wow. You know, I have to

00:06:11.540 --> 00:06:14.199
admit, I'm not a cool kid. I had no idea about

00:06:14.199 --> 00:06:17.100
her before. She was all over town during the

00:06:17.100 --> 00:06:19.740
weekend, the Crossroads District, Hamburger Mary's,

00:06:19.740 --> 00:06:25.259
and a variety of other places. You know, and

00:06:25.259 --> 00:06:27.839
the thing is, is she saw her first concert in

00:06:27.839 --> 00:06:30.120
Kansas City being from southern Missouri, right?

00:06:31.850 --> 00:06:34.310
So she knows Kansas City real well. So there's

00:06:34.310 --> 00:06:36.889
two days of her hanging out everywhere. And there's

00:06:36.889 --> 00:06:39.769
literally thousands of pictures. People I know

00:06:39.769 --> 00:06:42.790
have pictures with her. She went all over town

00:06:42.790 --> 00:06:45.910
just, you know, like the crossroads. Like I said,

00:06:45.990 --> 00:06:48.230
Hamburger Mary's. All these places just hanging

00:06:48.230 --> 00:06:51.449
out and taking pictures of people and all that.

00:06:51.529 --> 00:06:53.389
And I thought that was pretty interesting because

00:06:53.389 --> 00:06:57.870
she wasn't guarded at all. You know what I mean?

00:06:57.889 --> 00:07:00.370
How a lot of stars, you know, a lot of... People

00:07:00.370 --> 00:07:02.069
that are in the limelight, they guard themselves

00:07:02.069 --> 00:07:04.870
real heavily. No, she's just out there having

00:07:04.870 --> 00:07:06.829
fun, and I thought it was pretty refreshing.

00:07:07.689 --> 00:07:09.769
I thought it was cool that she's just kind of

00:07:09.769 --> 00:07:11.529
like, eh, I'm going to go to my regular places

00:07:11.529 --> 00:07:14.769
that I used to go to and have some fun. So, yeah,

00:07:14.850 --> 00:07:17.529
there's pictures everywhere. But the thing I

00:07:17.529 --> 00:07:20.250
got here, when you were in town, when the city,

00:07:20.370 --> 00:07:23.290
were you in town, Rob, when they canceled Rockfest

00:07:23.290 --> 00:07:31.300
at the Liberty Memorial? And they moved it to

00:07:31.300 --> 00:07:40.300
the Kansas Speedway? No. No, I don't know. Okay.

00:07:40.439 --> 00:07:43.319
It was only a few years before they finally ended

00:07:43.319 --> 00:07:46.920
Rockfest altogether. So the thing I get is this

00:07:46.920 --> 00:07:48.920
right here. Why are they letting concerts back

00:07:48.920 --> 00:07:52.319
on the grounds when the excuse was they had too

00:07:52.319 --> 00:07:54.720
much repair to do afterwards, even though Rock

00:07:54.720 --> 00:07:58.720
paid for all the damages? You see what I mean?

00:07:58.800 --> 00:08:01.079
I don't understand that. They ended it because

00:08:01.079 --> 00:08:02.959
of Rockfest, and they said that they couldn't

00:08:02.959 --> 00:08:05.300
have concerts there anymore because it tore up

00:08:05.300 --> 00:08:08.180
the lawn and everything. I mean, I know the rock

00:08:08.180 --> 00:08:10.439
paid for all the damages and everything that

00:08:10.439 --> 00:08:14.519
was done to it, right? The grounds there. So

00:08:14.519 --> 00:08:16.939
now they're letting concerts back. I want to

00:08:16.939 --> 00:08:19.879
know what happened, why they let concerts back

00:08:19.879 --> 00:08:24.449
now. You see what I'm saying? I don't know. So

00:08:24.449 --> 00:08:26.810
anyhow, the city also made the River Market area

00:08:26.810 --> 00:08:29.290
stop having shows there because Slipknot was

00:08:29.290 --> 00:08:32.990
so loud. I was at this show. Slipknot was so

00:08:32.990 --> 00:08:36.649
loud that it vibrated some of the relics off

00:08:36.649 --> 00:08:41.389
the wall at the Steamboat Arabia Museum. So anyhow,

00:08:41.549 --> 00:08:44.330
I hope the Steamboat Arabia is moving out. It's

00:08:44.330 --> 00:08:48.070
moving to Columbia. So I'm hoping. I'm hoping

00:08:48.070 --> 00:08:50.870
that they can allow concerts up at the city market

00:08:50.870 --> 00:08:53.899
again because that main concourse there, They

00:08:53.899 --> 00:08:56.220
just put up fences, and it was a great place

00:08:56.220 --> 00:08:59.480
to watch a concert. And if you got tired, you

00:08:59.480 --> 00:09:01.059
wanted to go sit for a while, or if you didn't

00:09:01.059 --> 00:09:03.840
like one of the bands, you could go, well, it

00:09:03.840 --> 00:09:06.179
used to be Winslow's, but now it's like Pigwitch.

00:09:06.259 --> 00:09:08.879
You can go to Pigwitch and sit outside and listen

00:09:08.879 --> 00:09:12.159
to it and have a sandwich and a beer. You know,

00:09:12.159 --> 00:09:14.720
not a $30 beer like they sell at the concerts.

00:09:15.279 --> 00:09:17.980
So I'm hoping the center market can start having

00:09:17.980 --> 00:09:20.710
some concerts again, too. And as far as Liberty

00:09:20.710 --> 00:09:22.610
Memorial goes, I guess they're going to start

00:09:22.610 --> 00:09:24.730
having concerts again. They had Chapel Roan.

00:09:25.309 --> 00:09:29.289
Roan, not Rome. Roan. So, I don't know. Anyhow.

00:09:30.269 --> 00:09:33.409
So, I've been looking for this Greek salami called

00:09:33.409 --> 00:09:36.289
Lucanica, right? And I can't seem to find it

00:09:36.289 --> 00:09:39.070
in the Kansas City area anywhere. You know, I

00:09:39.070 --> 00:09:41.730
found it in Chicago, New York, but never around

00:09:41.730 --> 00:09:45.230
here. My mom was craving some Lucanica, and so

00:09:45.230 --> 00:09:48.230
was I, in full disclosure. So I searched for

00:09:48.230 --> 00:09:50.990
it again around here, but no luck. Do you know

00:09:50.990 --> 00:09:53.850
how your phone will sometimes find the product

00:09:53.850 --> 00:09:56.169
for you that you're looking for and then, you

00:09:56.169 --> 00:09:59.870
know, give it to you? Yeah. Yeah, because I was

00:09:59.870 --> 00:10:03.710
looking for Laconic in Kansas City, and there

00:10:03.710 --> 00:10:05.929
wasn't any available that I know of. I couldn't

00:10:05.929 --> 00:10:08.230
find it anywhere. And if someone knows where

00:10:08.230 --> 00:10:11.470
they have it in Kansas City, please send me an

00:10:11.470 --> 00:10:17.879
email. It's 2douches at mail .com. Two douches

00:10:17.879 --> 00:10:20.320
at mail .com. Send me one. Let me know where

00:10:20.320 --> 00:10:23.200
I can get it from. So my phone sent me a suggestion

00:10:23.200 --> 00:10:26.700
on where to buy Leuconica. It is available in

00:10:26.700 --> 00:10:31.519
Eureka Springs, Arkansas of all places. There

00:10:31.519 --> 00:10:34.139
is a charcuterie store on Main Street in Eureka

00:10:34.139 --> 00:10:37.139
Springs and they have it there. A town of 2 ,000

00:10:37.139 --> 00:10:41.240
people. Kansas City has 2 .5 million people and

00:10:41.240 --> 00:10:43.340
they do not have it that I know of that I can

00:10:43.340 --> 00:10:47.009
find anywhere. Kansas City gets a fail on this

00:10:47.009 --> 00:10:50.889
one. So, the end of the month near my birthday,

00:10:51.049 --> 00:10:54.070
I'm going to be grabbing some from Eureka Springs

00:10:54.070 --> 00:10:58.190
and bringing it back. So, and I've never been

00:10:58.190 --> 00:11:00.289
there before. Well, I was in there one time and

00:11:00.289 --> 00:11:02.450
the guy was moving the store from right below

00:11:02.450 --> 00:11:06.429
where we usually stay at the Flatiron Suites.

00:11:06.429 --> 00:11:09.289
He's moving it down to Main Street where there's

00:11:09.289 --> 00:11:12.389
this old convenience store used to be. So I wasn't

00:11:12.389 --> 00:11:14.289
there, but he didn't have anything for sale because

00:11:14.289 --> 00:11:16.409
he's in the middle of moving. So I'm going to

00:11:16.409 --> 00:11:19.029
have to run by there and see what he has. So

00:11:19.029 --> 00:11:21.629
hopefully he has some left. I don't know if it

00:11:21.629 --> 00:11:23.870
likes, you know how some stuff you make it and

00:11:23.870 --> 00:11:27.809
it sells out real quick? Yeah. Yeah. So we'll

00:11:27.809 --> 00:11:34.049
see. So anyhow, I move on. Rose Mincy, 39, appeared

00:11:34.049 --> 00:11:37.230
in court on September 18th where she faced charges

00:11:37.230 --> 00:11:40.370
of illegal possession of human tissues. The BBC

00:11:40.370 --> 00:11:44.409
reported. Mincy is a cleaner at a hospital maternity

00:11:44.409 --> 00:11:48.250
ward in eastern South Africa. Security officers

00:11:48.250 --> 00:11:51.490
were tipped off that she was seeking buyers for

00:11:51.490 --> 00:11:54.230
human body tissues. They arrested her with a

00:11:54.230 --> 00:11:59.450
plastic bag of human placentas. And that's after

00:11:59.450 --> 00:12:02.070
birth. If anyone doesn't know, I imagine. Yeah.

00:12:02.850 --> 00:12:05.850
Well, you know that after birth is used in like

00:12:05.850 --> 00:12:12.129
skin treatments. Yeah. I was just thinking about

00:12:12.129 --> 00:12:15.070
that, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They use it for

00:12:15.070 --> 00:12:18.110
all kinds of stuff like that. Placenta is so

00:12:18.110 --> 00:12:21.129
rich in all the nutrients and everything that

00:12:21.129 --> 00:12:26.409
your body needs that it helps your skin. So I

00:12:26.409 --> 00:12:28.570
imagine that someone was paying her to have that

00:12:28.570 --> 00:12:31.629
probably to put it on their face or skin to look

00:12:31.629 --> 00:12:34.330
younger. I mean, if there's any other use for

00:12:34.330 --> 00:12:36.950
it, I don't know. As far as I know, that's it.

00:12:37.450 --> 00:12:40.710
So, anyhow, she's going to face further charges.

00:12:40.789 --> 00:12:45.129
She's due back in court in October. So, meanwhile,

00:12:45.370 --> 00:12:48.429
the BP convenience store in Macon, Missouri.

00:12:48.990 --> 00:12:53.429
Do you know where Macon is? Yeah, yeah, I do.

00:12:53.529 --> 00:12:57.029
It's up north of me. Yeah, yep. About two and

00:12:57.029 --> 00:12:59.629
a half hours north. Okay, maybe you've been by

00:12:59.629 --> 00:13:01.870
there before. It has slot machines in it, this

00:13:01.870 --> 00:13:06.090
convenience store. I didn't when last time I

00:13:06.090 --> 00:13:08.000
was through it. Last time I was through there,

00:13:08.080 --> 00:13:11.740
it was like early 2000s because I was doing maintenance

00:13:11.740 --> 00:13:15.840
on all of these. That was the last time because

00:13:15.840 --> 00:13:19.879
we didn't make it overly all them. I've been

00:13:19.879 --> 00:13:24.740
through there. Okay, okay. I've been through

00:13:24.740 --> 00:13:27.440
there and I went to the slot machines briefly.

00:13:28.179 --> 00:13:30.419
And if I remember correctly, this is quite a

00:13:30.419 --> 00:13:32.820
few years ago, I won like 15 bucks and I was

00:13:32.820 --> 00:13:34.860
like, you know what, I got to go anyhow. So I

00:13:34.860 --> 00:13:42.419
grabbed the 15 and took off. So, KTVO TV reported,

00:13:42.620 --> 00:13:45.740
which made it really handy for Amber Dawn Butler,

00:13:45.980 --> 00:13:49.299
34, to satisfy her gambling addiction while she

00:13:49.299 --> 00:13:52.279
was at work. One little hiccup in her on -the

00:13:52.279 --> 00:13:54.860
-job wagering was that she was allegedly taking

00:13:54.860 --> 00:13:57.759
money from the store's cash register and safe

00:13:57.759 --> 00:14:03.299
to feed into the machines. So, at least it went

00:14:03.299 --> 00:14:07.220
back to the store, right? The money she was stealing,

00:14:07.399 --> 00:14:12.039
she put back in the store, right? So, I mean,

00:14:12.059 --> 00:14:13.940
that's one thing you can say about it is, well,

00:14:14.120 --> 00:14:16.200
she didn't take the money anywhere. She left

00:14:16.200 --> 00:14:19.559
it there. Butler also confessed to scratching

00:14:19.559 --> 00:14:21.740
lottery tickets she hadn't bought and stealing

00:14:21.740 --> 00:14:23.899
cigarettes and bottled water from the store.

00:14:25.639 --> 00:14:28.019
Confusingly, though, you know she pleaded not

00:14:28.019 --> 00:14:33.960
guilty. Watch that. She admitted to doing all

00:14:33.960 --> 00:14:38.409
this, right? And then when they go to a rainer,

00:14:38.429 --> 00:14:42.049
it's like, ah, I'm not guilty. Well, what was

00:14:42.049 --> 00:14:44.250
all that emitting stuff earlier? I don't know.

00:14:46.549 --> 00:14:50.750
Well, see, technically it wouldn't. Because of

00:14:50.750 --> 00:14:55.490
all those machines, the stores do not own. So

00:14:55.490 --> 00:14:58.090
technically she was taking the store's money

00:14:58.090 --> 00:15:02.070
and giving it to somebody else. Yeah, and also...

00:15:03.690 --> 00:15:06.110
She was also stealing, though. I mean, you know,

00:15:06.129 --> 00:15:08.529
she was gambling with her money. Yeah, yeah,

00:15:08.590 --> 00:15:11.250
she was stealing. And I have no problems with

00:15:11.250 --> 00:15:13.029
her being arrested at all. She was stealing.

00:15:13.389 --> 00:15:15.710
But I just thought it was funny. She was stealing

00:15:15.710 --> 00:15:18.169
and pretty much giving it back to the company

00:15:18.169 --> 00:15:22.990
that she was stealing from. Right. But I guess

00:15:22.990 --> 00:15:25.070
she was, like, addicted to gambling, it sounds

00:15:25.070 --> 00:15:27.809
like. Like lottery tickets. She was scratching

00:15:27.809 --> 00:15:32.490
them off and didn't buy them. So, anyhow. So

00:15:32.490 --> 00:15:35.710
I hope that not guilty plea, I don't know how

00:15:35.710 --> 00:15:38.730
that's going to work out, but I guess I'll try

00:15:38.730 --> 00:15:40.730
to keep an eye on this story and see how long

00:15:40.730 --> 00:15:42.889
she gets. Because I'm pretty sure that not guilty

00:15:42.889 --> 00:15:46.690
plea, do what? I'm just going to say my guess,

00:15:46.970 --> 00:15:50.629
probably not very well for her. I'm thinking

00:15:50.629 --> 00:15:52.590
no either. I'm thinking it's not going to go

00:15:52.590 --> 00:15:56.549
well for her. And I can't say I really give a

00:15:56.549 --> 00:15:59.389
shit. So when that's stupid, they get what they

00:15:59.389 --> 00:16:02.980
get. So if you're planning to do a little carousing

00:16:02.980 --> 00:16:07.279
this homecoming season in Jessup, Iowa, think

00:16:07.279 --> 00:16:09.980
again. The Jessup Police Department has issued

00:16:09.980 --> 00:16:13.259
a warning that TPN is banned and anyone doing

00:16:13.259 --> 00:16:17.940
it will face legal charges. KCRG -TV reported

00:16:17.940 --> 00:16:21.379
on September 17th that police have labeled the

00:16:21.379 --> 00:16:23.620
prank harassment and have identified multiple

00:16:23.620 --> 00:16:26.919
people whom they are investigating for trespassing,

00:16:27.039 --> 00:16:31.340
criminal mischief, illegal dumping, and disorderly

00:16:31.340 --> 00:16:34.679
conduct. What the hell? A little TPN? And it

00:16:34.679 --> 00:16:38.740
commands all that? Really? Yeah, it used to be

00:16:38.740 --> 00:16:40.200
a joke. You know, someone would come out and

00:16:40.200 --> 00:16:43.059
go, all those damn kids. Shit, look at that.

00:16:43.200 --> 00:16:45.779
I got toilet paper everywhere. And it used to

00:16:45.779 --> 00:16:47.919
be kind of like a ha -ha. It's like, hey, hey,

00:16:48.000 --> 00:16:52.940
hey, hey, Jimmy, come here. Who got your tree

00:16:52.940 --> 00:16:55.500
out in front? I don't know. Little bastard. Someone

00:16:55.500 --> 00:16:58.360
got me. You know. It was always kind of a, you

00:16:58.360 --> 00:17:00.720
know, kind of like a joke, a rib or whatever.

00:17:01.299 --> 00:17:05.680
Yep. I guess not. I guess not. You always pick

00:17:05.680 --> 00:17:11.339
it up and you got good toilet paper. Yeah. Yeah.

00:17:11.339 --> 00:17:14.619
Yeah. That's true. Yeah. Someone's trying to

00:17:14.619 --> 00:17:16.539
give you free toilet paper. Take it. I mean,

00:17:16.539 --> 00:17:19.259
that shit's expensive. Yeah. Yeah. And especially

00:17:19.259 --> 00:17:22.559
if it's like two ply. Two ply is gold, right?

00:17:23.160 --> 00:17:28.000
Yes, it is. Yeah. Yeah. A two -ply almost guarantees

00:17:28.000 --> 00:17:32.460
you a nice, soft ass -wiping, right? Yeah, those

00:17:32.460 --> 00:17:35.420
are rookies that do that. Yeah, rookies give

00:17:35.420 --> 00:17:38.680
away the two -ply. You go to the one -ply, always

00:17:38.680 --> 00:17:42.200
save. You don't go to the Charmin two -ply or

00:17:42.200 --> 00:17:45.400
anything like that. You do the cheapest one -ply

00:17:45.400 --> 00:17:48.359
shit you can find. And the other good thing about

00:17:48.359 --> 00:17:51.019
the one -ply is it's hard to take off of a tree.

00:17:51.140 --> 00:17:59.319
It breaks apart so easy. Right. Better yet. Yes,

00:17:59.319 --> 00:18:01.299
that's what I'm going to tell you. Quilted northern,

00:18:01.599 --> 00:18:04.660
yep. But you know the best way to un -TP a tree,

00:18:04.799 --> 00:18:11.500
Rob? How? Spray it down with a hose. Yeah, actually,

00:18:11.619 --> 00:18:14.200
yeah. Yeah, it dissolves it. I mean, toilet paper

00:18:14.200 --> 00:18:16.680
is made to do that. It's made to dissolve in

00:18:16.680 --> 00:18:21.519
water, you know. So in the stool it dissolves.

00:18:21.779 --> 00:18:23.660
Well, that's the best way. That's what I was

00:18:23.660 --> 00:18:25.200
taught is you go out there with a garden hose,

00:18:25.400 --> 00:18:28.289
zap it. It's all going to fall to the ground.

00:18:28.349 --> 00:18:30.130
It's all going to dissolve and it'll be done.

00:18:30.349 --> 00:18:33.690
So anyhow, I've seen people out there taking

00:18:33.690 --> 00:18:35.970
it off and stuff. I'm like, no, no, no, no, no,

00:18:35.970 --> 00:18:38.930
no, no. Go get a hose, spray it off. It'll all

00:18:38.930 --> 00:18:45.450
dissolve. So California, Carolina, not Carolina.

00:18:45.490 --> 00:18:48.009
I can't speak today. Well, actually, I can't

00:18:48.009 --> 00:18:50.109
speak any day today. It's just a little bit worse.

00:18:51.130 --> 00:18:53.849
Carolina University campus. The Sun News reported

00:18:53.849 --> 00:18:55.990
that the video started appearing on September

00:18:55.990 --> 00:18:58.490
1st. You know what? They didn't give me this

00:18:58.490 --> 00:19:03.390
whole fucking story. I apologize. Okay, let me

00:19:03.390 --> 00:19:07.069
get rid of that until I can download all of it

00:19:07.069 --> 00:19:09.569
because I really like that story. And I don't

00:19:09.569 --> 00:19:12.450
know why it cut off the first part of it, but

00:19:12.450 --> 00:19:18.630
okay. The robots are coming, Rob, to Major League

00:19:18.630 --> 00:19:22.440
Baseball. On Major League Baseball now. On September

00:19:22.440 --> 00:19:24.880
23rd, the Major League Baseball approved the

00:19:24.880 --> 00:19:28.619
use of an automated ball strike system for challenges

00:19:28.619 --> 00:19:33.140
during the 2026 season, ESPN reported. The ABS

00:19:33.140 --> 00:19:36.019
system will be similar to the line calling system

00:19:36.019 --> 00:19:38.980
in tennis, and each team will get two challenges

00:19:38.980 --> 00:19:43.960
per game, signaled by a hitter, pitcher, or catcher

00:19:43.960 --> 00:19:49.059
tapping his head. So, human big league umpires

00:19:49.059 --> 00:19:52.670
call about 90 for... 94 % of the pitches correctly.

00:19:52.849 --> 00:19:55.890
They have figured this out. So, I mean, they

00:19:55.890 --> 00:19:59.869
do a really good job, it sounds like, 94%. And

00:19:59.869 --> 00:20:02.589
people are like going, that guy can't see shit.

00:20:02.869 --> 00:20:05.990
You ever see a 100 -mile -an -hour fastball come

00:20:05.990 --> 00:20:10.490
out of gloves? Yeah. Yeah. Those people are extraordinary.

00:20:10.509 --> 00:20:13.109
They can do that. I'm telling you. You've got

00:20:13.109 --> 00:20:15.529
to have really great hand -eye coordination,

00:20:15.609 --> 00:20:19.240
just great eye coordination to see that. And

00:20:19.240 --> 00:20:20.980
I hear people all the time go, oh, that guy's

00:20:20.980 --> 00:20:22.880
whining as a bat. It's like, you know, you ever

00:20:22.880 --> 00:20:25.720
stay down there? Because I've watched a 100 -mile

00:20:25.720 --> 00:20:28.279
-an -hour pitch coming out of catcher. Yeah,

00:20:28.279 --> 00:20:32.359
yeah. Yeah, it is hard. It is hard to figure

00:20:32.359 --> 00:20:35.279
out exactly where that ball is. It's really hard.

00:20:35.319 --> 00:20:38.200
The best thing you could do is look down and

00:20:38.200 --> 00:20:46.860
see where that catcher's mitt is. Mm -hmm. Most

00:20:46.860 --> 00:21:15.579
people, most people. Right, right. But the best

00:21:15.579 --> 00:21:17.460
of them know how to frame something and make

00:21:17.460 --> 00:21:26.440
it look just like a strike. So, anyhow, Lisa

00:21:26.440 --> 00:21:29.920
Catalano, 41, of San Mateo, California, is ready

00:21:29.920 --> 00:21:34.180
to settle down. KRON or KRON -TV reported. So

00:21:34.180 --> 00:21:38.920
she set her sights high. Catalano is using digital

00:21:38.920 --> 00:21:41.819
billboards along Highway 101 in California, of

00:21:41.819 --> 00:21:44.609
course, to seek out potential mates. directing

00:21:44.609 --> 00:21:46.990
suitors to her website to get more information

00:21:46.990 --> 00:21:53.369
and apply. I like this. What do you think, Rob?

00:21:53.369 --> 00:21:57.329
Yeah, I did it too. I did it too. What a great

00:21:57.329 --> 00:21:59.750
way to cut through the bullshit. It's like, send

00:21:59.750 --> 00:22:01.930
me an application and I'll get back with you.

00:22:01.990 --> 00:22:08.670
Just like businesses. And she said the reason

00:22:08.670 --> 00:22:11.430
she did this, she was just not having luck any

00:22:11.430 --> 00:22:14.619
other way. Catalano was previously engaged, but

00:22:14.619 --> 00:22:17.960
her fiance passed away in 2023 from an illness.

00:22:18.140 --> 00:22:21.380
That sucks. As she looks for an ideal applicant,

00:22:21.619 --> 00:22:24.319
she says, I hope that this is a great story that

00:22:24.319 --> 00:22:27.099
we can tell our future children. Well, I hope

00:22:27.099 --> 00:22:29.160
so, too. She sounds like a nice lady. I know

00:22:29.160 --> 00:22:33.319
it sucks. Her husband passed away and all that.

00:22:33.480 --> 00:22:36.380
I mean, he obviously had been pretty old or young.

00:22:36.440 --> 00:22:42.289
I mean, not old. So, wow. But anyhow, there was

00:22:42.289 --> 00:22:48.069
a big study done about how Gen Zers, Boomers,

00:22:48.069 --> 00:22:53.049
and Xers, what they do in their car, right? So

00:22:53.049 --> 00:22:55.349
I was going to explain this all, but we got a

00:22:55.349 --> 00:23:00.130
new guy. So let's just have him explain it, even

00:23:00.130 --> 00:23:02.230
though he's going to hate. He's going to be a

00:23:02.230 --> 00:23:04.369
dick about it. Oh, God. I know. I'm getting sick

00:23:04.369 --> 00:23:07.450
of him, the bastard. So, hey, new guy. I hope

00:23:07.450 --> 00:23:11.250
he... I hope so, too. He needs some, the bastard.

00:23:11.450 --> 00:23:15.130
Yeah. Hey, new guy, get the fuck over here and

00:23:15.130 --> 00:23:17.450
tell everybody about this study, okay? While

00:23:17.450 --> 00:23:20.150
Rob and I scratch our balls. Thank you, new guy.

00:23:21.490 --> 00:23:26.150
Hello. This is a new guy. I guess these two idiots

00:23:26.150 --> 00:23:28.990
need me to explain some more things. Something

00:23:28.990 --> 00:23:32.190
about driving habits for the generations, different

00:23:32.190 --> 00:23:36.569
generations. So, I guess I'll just go ahead and

00:23:36.569 --> 00:23:39.779
go on with it. Generation Z. This generation

00:23:39.779 --> 00:23:43.400
uses their car as a sanctuary for quiet, relaxation,

00:23:43.740 --> 00:23:47.359
and processing long work days. 55 % enjoy silent

00:23:47.359 --> 00:23:50.980
car rides, and 43 % use their car time to process

00:23:50.980 --> 00:23:54.759
information. 25 % also take naps in their cars.

00:23:55.200 --> 00:23:57.579
Driving is less frequent, but more focused on

00:23:57.579 --> 00:24:00.799
utility and necessity, particularly for commuting

00:24:00.799 --> 00:24:03.359
to work and school, and less for errands compared

00:24:03.359 --> 00:24:06.799
to older generations. Millennials. They are focused

00:24:06.799 --> 00:24:09.720
on self -improvement and planning for the future

00:24:09.720 --> 00:24:12.019
while driving. They are more likely to listen

00:24:12.019 --> 00:24:15.539
to podcasts, 39%, more than any other generation.

00:24:16.660 --> 00:24:19.819
Driving is often tied to life, stage, and career.

00:24:20.339 --> 00:24:23.299
Gen X, they engage in more uplifting activities

00:24:23.299 --> 00:24:26.680
such as listening to music. 89 % of Gen X drivers

00:24:26.680 --> 00:24:29.759
listen to music. 18 % give themselves pep talks.

00:24:30.410 --> 00:24:32.250
While they use their cars for errands like other

00:24:32.250 --> 00:24:34.829
generations, their driving habits reflect a different

00:24:34.829 --> 00:24:38.069
emphasis than younger generations. Older generations,

00:24:38.289 --> 00:24:41.230
baby boomers, they are more likely to use their

00:24:41.230 --> 00:24:43.670
cars for errands and family visits. Their reasons

00:24:43.670 --> 00:24:45.930
for driving are more about habit and less focused

00:24:45.930 --> 00:24:49.450
on commute compared to Gen Z. So there you go,

00:24:49.509 --> 00:24:52.910
you fuckwads. All right, Rob. Thank you, new

00:24:52.910 --> 00:24:55.029
guy, even though you're a surly bastard and you

00:24:55.029 --> 00:24:59.319
hate us. Oh, God, what can we do to you? Shit.

00:24:59.440 --> 00:25:01.500
I don't know. I think he gets an ass paddling.

00:25:01.539 --> 00:25:06.460
What do you think? I think so. All right. New

00:25:06.460 --> 00:25:10.220
guy, you're on an ass paddling list. Yeah. As

00:25:10.220 --> 00:25:11.839
a matter of fact, I'm thinking about the Hall

00:25:11.839 --> 00:25:15.819
of Fame already. What do you think? No, that's

00:25:15.819 --> 00:25:17.920
just leaving on an ass paddling. You know what?

00:25:18.039 --> 00:25:20.000
We'll give him a chance to straighten out. We'll

00:25:20.000 --> 00:25:22.849
see if that changes his attitude. Okay, okay.

00:25:23.009 --> 00:25:25.970
New guy, you're going to get a paddling, but

00:25:25.970 --> 00:25:28.650
you're not in the Hall of Fame yet. Any more

00:25:28.650 --> 00:25:30.470
shrimp? We'll treat you like a kid. Yeah, we're

00:25:30.470 --> 00:25:32.069
going to treat you like a kid. You're in timeout

00:25:32.069 --> 00:25:35.210
right now. So, geez. Well, sorry about that,

00:25:35.230 --> 00:25:37.269
Rob. I don't know what the... Yeah, he's always

00:25:37.269 --> 00:25:40.190
being a dick. I don't know. Oh, I know. I know.

00:25:40.269 --> 00:25:42.890
I don't get it. I don't either. I mean, hell,

00:25:42.970 --> 00:25:45.410
you gave him 50 bucks. I gave him a bag of pencil

00:25:45.410 --> 00:25:47.210
shavings. I don't know what the hell he wants.

00:25:48.190 --> 00:25:51.309
Those pencil shavings are at least worth the...

00:25:51.720 --> 00:25:56.500
A dime, maybe? At least. Yeah, and you giving

00:25:56.500 --> 00:25:59.180
him that 50 bucks was ridiculous. He should pay

00:25:59.180 --> 00:26:03.220
you 50 bucks for the job he does. Should, yeah.

00:26:03.559 --> 00:26:06.500
Yeah. All right, Rob, we turn to you. Oh, new

00:26:06.500 --> 00:26:13.279
guy. He just left. He's mad. Hey, don't get near

00:26:13.279 --> 00:26:16.920
my car, you fuck. I see him out there. All right,

00:26:16.920 --> 00:26:21.880
Rob, we turn it to you. Okay, first off, I have

00:26:21.880 --> 00:26:26.660
to explain something. I posted on Facebook last

00:26:26.660 --> 00:26:33.259
night that I bought Princess a goat. I felt bad

00:26:33.259 --> 00:26:35.700
doing that earlier. I felt bad doing that earlier.

00:26:36.400 --> 00:26:43.240
No, don't. Don't feel bad. Okay. Well, she rode

00:26:43.240 --> 00:26:47.180
over here to my place with her brother. And we

00:26:47.180 --> 00:26:53.599
went. swapped me that same place where I did

00:26:53.599 --> 00:26:58.960
a call in yeah a few years ago yes yeah well

00:26:58.960 --> 00:28:58.200
we discussed this Thursday night And when they

00:28:58.200 --> 00:29:01.579
got some milk supplement to give her, you know,

00:29:01.660 --> 00:29:06.160
she wouldn't take it, so it was too late by the

00:29:06.160 --> 00:29:08.539
time we could get it to her. That just sucks.

00:29:34.990 --> 00:29:36.710
Okay, that's cool. We'll have to see about another

00:29:36.710 --> 00:29:43.150
Penny Lane. All right. Yeah, sorry about that.

00:30:09.359 --> 00:30:40.619
Oh man. yeah I believe so I remember something

00:30:40.619 --> 00:31:59.430
about that yes Right. I would agree, too. Yeah.

00:32:41.200 --> 00:32:45.279
I think you're right. But, because I remember

00:32:45.279 --> 00:32:50.359
that case. It was where they were at and all

00:32:50.359 --> 00:32:54.180
this, you know. Yeah. And then they asked if

00:32:54.180 --> 00:32:57.119
they could move on down and that officer said

00:32:57.119 --> 00:33:04.000
yes. Well, got him again. And I believe they

00:33:04.000 --> 00:33:12.380
were actually incarcerated. Wow. Okay. All right.

00:33:12.859 --> 00:33:17.559
Well, thank you, Rob. All right. Let's take our

00:33:17.559 --> 00:33:20.440
first break. And guess what? I got a few emails.

00:33:21.880 --> 00:33:26.240
Deal. All right. We'll be right back. Topher,

00:33:26.380 --> 00:33:31.039
Mark, and Rob would like you to know that just

00:33:31.039 --> 00:33:33.880
because they have a podcast does not mean their

00:33:33.880 --> 00:33:37.140
asshole does not stink. I know them pretty well,

00:33:37.200 --> 00:33:40.920
and their asshole does stink. So. Just so you

00:33:40.920 --> 00:33:46.000
know, their asshole stinks just like yours. Your

00:33:46.000 --> 00:33:49.059
mama's so ugly, her portraits hang themselves.

00:33:50.299 --> 00:33:52.839
So you want proof that we love you here at QD

00:33:52.839 --> 00:33:55.619
Spades and Microfilm Central? Here's a proof

00:33:55.619 --> 00:33:59.279
right here about the drink of the week. Hey there,

00:33:59.299 --> 00:34:02.599
you little snack cakes. This is Norwegian's Best

00:34:02.599 --> 00:34:05.859
Drinks. Norwegian Cruise Lime has long been known

00:34:05.859 --> 00:34:07.720
as one of the best drink makers on the high seas,

00:34:07.779 --> 00:34:10.309
if not the best. In this drink, it's no different.

00:34:10.389 --> 00:34:12.389
It's one of the most popular, and it's really

00:34:12.389 --> 00:34:16.230
good. A smoked peach margarita. It involves one

00:34:16.230 --> 00:34:19.929
ounce of 1800 silver tequila, one half ounce

00:34:19.929 --> 00:34:24.030
of mezcal, a quarter ounce of triple sec, half

00:34:24.030 --> 00:34:27.170
ounce of organic agave, half ounce of peach puree,

00:34:27.429 --> 00:34:30.530
and one half ounces of fresh wine juice, garnished

00:34:30.530 --> 00:34:33.730
with hibiscus salt on the rim, and dried blood

00:34:33.730 --> 00:34:37.239
orange slices on the rim. Add all ingredients

00:34:37.239 --> 00:34:40.099
and shake, and don't be bashful, shake like nuts.

00:34:40.400 --> 00:34:43.420
And then put it in a glass with crushed ice and

00:34:43.420 --> 00:34:47.900
enjoy. I just made a belt out of all my old watches.

00:34:48.400 --> 00:34:51.559
Wow, that's unique. Yeah, it was a waste of time.

00:34:52.880 --> 00:34:55.320
Hey, if you're a fan of paying way too much for

00:34:55.320 --> 00:34:57.579
trinkets and food, well, your wish is coming

00:34:57.579 --> 00:35:00.360
true. Kansas City International Airport Guest

00:35:00.360 --> 00:35:03.739
Pass program is starting today. Yes. You, too,

00:35:03.800 --> 00:35:06.219
could overspend on workless trinkets and $15

00:35:06.219 --> 00:35:09.500
cups of coffee. You want to buy a $50 cheap t

00:35:09.500 --> 00:35:12.079
-shirt that has KC Western Auto Building image

00:35:12.079 --> 00:35:15.380
on it? We got you covered. Want a barbecue sauce

00:35:15.380 --> 00:35:18.480
gift pack? No problem. Just a mere $40 on your

00:35:18.480 --> 00:35:21.199
firstborn. Hurry. You know rubes are jumping

00:35:21.199 --> 00:35:25.039
all over to get to this complete ripoff. Because

00:35:25.039 --> 00:35:28.840
people are sheen. And now, Deep Thoughts with

00:35:28.840 --> 00:35:36.780
Mark. So I have a shredded chicken soft taco.

00:35:38.119 --> 00:35:41.440
Now I'm going to lay it flat, open it up, and

00:35:41.440 --> 00:35:43.780
then I'm going to roll it tightly the other way.

00:35:44.460 --> 00:35:48.920
Will it then suddenly become a taquito? Hmm.

00:35:50.400 --> 00:35:58.820
I may never know. Hello, this is Phineas J. Altaris

00:35:58.820 --> 00:36:02.400
III. I'm here to deliver your music news this

00:36:02.400 --> 00:36:13.460
evening. So recently some new information came

00:36:13.460 --> 00:36:16.119
out about the firing of Bob Daisley and Lee Kerslake,

00:36:16.260 --> 00:36:18.480
two of the original members of the Blizzard of

00:36:18.480 --> 00:36:21.760
Oz band. Ozzy claims that Randy Rhodes also had

00:36:21.760 --> 00:36:23.980
a role in his decision to fire the bassist and

00:36:23.980 --> 00:36:26.760
drummer. Randy never liked Lee Kerslake, Ozzy

00:36:26.760 --> 00:36:29.360
states, and Bob was always intimidating him.

00:36:29.579 --> 00:36:32.360
And I can remember that Randy's mom came to him

00:36:32.360 --> 00:36:33.980
and said, what the fuck are you playing with

00:36:33.980 --> 00:36:36.480
those idiots for? I was sitting next to Randy's

00:36:36.480 --> 00:36:38.940
mom at the time, and she said, what's wrong with

00:36:38.940 --> 00:36:41.769
you, Randy? Then Randy said, I think I'm going

00:36:41.769 --> 00:36:45.090
to leave the band. I asked him why. We had a

00:36:45.090 --> 00:36:48.409
chat apart one day and he said, the band is just

00:36:48.409 --> 00:36:51.610
a lot of geeks. You drink too much? I said, well,

00:36:51.769 --> 00:36:54.949
it's just me. But what do you mean a band of

00:36:54.949 --> 00:36:57.250
geeks? And he said, look, how are we going to

00:36:57.250 --> 00:37:00.130
conquer America with that fucking lot? Rose suggested

00:37:00.130 --> 00:37:03.170
his old Quiet Riot pal Rudy Sarzo as a replacement

00:37:03.170 --> 00:37:06.019
for Daisley. and Tommy Altrich was a drummer

00:37:06.019 --> 00:37:08.460
that Ozzy had known and admired for years, a

00:37:08.460 --> 00:37:10.820
veteran of Black Oak Arkansas, as well as Pat

00:37:10.820 --> 00:37:14.380
Travers and Gary Moore Band. Interesting stuff,

00:37:14.559 --> 00:37:20.500
huh? This is Phineas J. Baltaris III. That has

00:37:20.500 --> 00:37:23.579
been your music news for this evening. I have

00:37:23.579 --> 00:37:26.760
one burning question for you all. Do people really

00:37:26.760 --> 00:37:34.380
skip around the Maypole? It's still in there.

00:37:34.719 --> 00:37:38.659
Rob consumed small doses of radiation for 30

00:37:38.659 --> 00:37:43.239
years. Rob is immune to radiation. Watch him

00:37:43.239 --> 00:37:47.619
glow. Watch Rob Red jump up 25 feet and grab

00:37:47.619 --> 00:37:51.179
birds out of thin air with his mouth. With his

00:37:51.179 --> 00:37:55.300
mouth! Rob can now be invented for children's

00:37:55.300 --> 00:37:59.019
parties and bar mitzvahs. That's right. Come

00:37:59.019 --> 00:38:02.039
on and rent your Rob today. That's right. Come

00:38:02.039 --> 00:38:07.719
by and rent Rob for a day. A day! A day! Watch

00:38:07.719 --> 00:38:10.840
Rob consume seven bottles of night cream and

00:38:10.840 --> 00:38:15.079
still break dance and moonwalk. Watch Rob Red

00:38:15.079 --> 00:38:20.019
fart down a building. Fart down a building! Rob

00:38:20.019 --> 00:38:22.559
Red assumes no responsibility whatsoever. He

00:38:22.559 --> 00:38:24.480
is not a babysitter and he doesn't give one hell

00:38:24.480 --> 00:38:26.019
of a shit about your children. Please remember

00:38:26.019 --> 00:38:28.550
to corral every little bastard you have. Before

00:38:28.550 --> 00:38:30.710
Rob gets there, and Walt will not put up with

00:38:30.710 --> 00:38:33.010
any backtalk, he will promptly get them in the

00:38:33.010 --> 00:38:35.449
place. Rob Rehag assumes no responsibility for

00:38:35.449 --> 00:38:37.329
anything that could be stolen from his visit.

00:38:37.369 --> 00:38:39.730
Rob Rehag has no responsibility whatsoever in

00:38:39.730 --> 00:38:42.750
any help him of any situation. Read a Rob today.

00:38:43.389 --> 00:38:48.650
Why, Whataburger, you say? Well, because what

00:38:48.650 --> 00:38:51.829
a deep -fried crispy chicken nugget just didn't

00:38:51.829 --> 00:38:59.480
have the right ring. I got a neat little story

00:38:59.480 --> 00:39:02.099
here about a little prank that me and Davey,

00:39:02.099 --> 00:39:05.619
my friend that I refer to often, played. You

00:39:05.619 --> 00:39:07.800
know the old Bannister Mall, remember that? Oh,

00:39:07.800 --> 00:39:11.059
yeah. Oh, yeah. Boy, that was an area for a lot

00:39:11.059 --> 00:39:13.440
of fucking fun. We used to get away with murder

00:39:13.440 --> 00:39:15.519
at that place. We had done the stupidest shit.

00:39:15.960 --> 00:39:18.659
Well, there was a security guard, a little short

00:39:18.659 --> 00:39:21.380
little fucker, kind of a little dumpy little

00:39:21.380 --> 00:39:24.519
guy named Sam. And he hated us longhairs. We

00:39:24.519 --> 00:39:26.059
were in there getting all the chicks, and he

00:39:26.059 --> 00:39:29.199
didn't fucking like it. Sam used to always try

00:39:29.199 --> 00:39:31.900
to get me kicked out. And Davey, too, but more

00:39:31.900 --> 00:39:35.239
me. He really hated me for some reason. So he'd

00:39:35.239 --> 00:39:37.679
always screw with me, and he got me kicked out

00:39:37.679 --> 00:39:40.960
for about two weeks. Then we went to court, and

00:39:40.960 --> 00:39:43.159
then the judge said you can't kick him out. It's

00:39:43.159 --> 00:39:47.219
a public mall, you know, so. Yeah. So anyhow,

00:39:47.420 --> 00:39:49.599
you know, one of the biggest ways to sell a hoax

00:39:49.599 --> 00:39:53.760
is to, we found this out, was to have a set -up

00:39:53.760 --> 00:39:57.360
guy that no one knew. Just a guy to confirm what

00:39:57.360 --> 00:40:00.119
you're saying. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I did see

00:40:00.119 --> 00:40:03.019
that monkey. Over there, yeah. The last I saw

00:40:03.019 --> 00:40:04.920
him, he was on top of that building, and he was

00:40:04.920 --> 00:40:06.699
throwing shit at somebody. The random witness

00:40:06.699 --> 00:40:08.139
you see when he disappears. The random witness,

00:40:08.139 --> 00:40:15.079
yes. Yeah. So, this guy, okay, this is Bannister

00:40:15.079 --> 00:40:18.480
Mall, early 1980s. Me and my good buddy Davey

00:40:18.480 --> 00:40:21.659
were hanging out, and we were crazy long hairs

00:40:21.659 --> 00:40:23.880
that, you know, the average teen would follow,

00:40:24.039 --> 00:40:26.860
you know, because we're long hairs. We're kind

00:40:26.860 --> 00:40:29.519
of like the Pied Piper of teens. People used

00:40:29.519 --> 00:40:31.780
to look at us and go, well, there's the party.

00:40:32.179 --> 00:40:34.159
Let's just follow them around until they go to

00:40:34.159 --> 00:40:37.800
it. I've done that. Yeah, they used to do it

00:40:37.800 --> 00:40:39.179
all the time. We'd be like, where are you guys

00:40:39.179 --> 00:40:42.480
going? Cleveland? Ohio? No, Missouri. That guy

00:40:42.480 --> 00:40:45.760
looks like he might have beer. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:40:45.840 --> 00:40:48.019
So they'd just start following us, and that's

00:40:48.019 --> 00:40:49.699
just the way it were. And then we'd all introduce,

00:40:49.840 --> 00:40:54.039
hey, I'm so -and -so, I'm so -and -so. We'd have

00:40:54.039 --> 00:40:57.420
a good time, Cleveland Lake or something. Slamming

00:40:57.420 --> 00:41:00.980
beers, doing stupid shit. So Davey and I had

00:41:00.980 --> 00:41:03.320
certain buddies that would walk up and hear the

00:41:03.320 --> 00:41:05.559
bullshit that we're spewing and then help seal

00:41:05.559 --> 00:41:09.460
the deal. They'd sell it completely. One guy

00:41:09.460 --> 00:41:11.900
that walked around to help us was a punker named

00:41:11.900 --> 00:41:15.780
Jason. Jason was really cool because he looked

00:41:15.780 --> 00:41:18.679
like the type of guy that wouldn't like us. But

00:41:18.679 --> 00:41:22.469
we got to talking to him. And, you know, we saw

00:41:22.469 --> 00:41:25.050
eye to eye on everything except music. Everything

00:41:25.050 --> 00:41:27.789
else we were the same, you know. Fuck society,

00:41:28.150 --> 00:41:30.710
fuck the average guy, fuck this, fuck that, you

00:41:30.710 --> 00:41:33.289
know. But when it came to music, you know, we're

00:41:33.289 --> 00:41:35.230
like fucking listening to Motley Crue and shit

00:41:35.230 --> 00:41:39.510
like that. And he was listening to, I don't know,

00:41:39.710 --> 00:41:42.889
the Ramones or, you know, or even deeper than

00:41:42.889 --> 00:41:45.750
that, you know, Dick Kennedy's The Germs. Television.

00:41:48.929 --> 00:41:54.590
Yeah, he was a real punker. He had an orange

00:41:54.590 --> 00:42:01.210
mohawk. Sweet. Or black spike leather. And Doc

00:42:01.210 --> 00:42:04.429
Martens. So, I mean, you know, you got the guy,

00:42:04.510 --> 00:42:08.289
right? You know who I'm talking about. So, great

00:42:08.289 --> 00:42:10.429
guy, though. I'd love to know what happened to

00:42:10.429 --> 00:42:12.710
him. So, Jason, if you happen to hear this abortion,

00:42:12.889 --> 00:42:16.349
please, oh, I guess that's a bad word now, isn't

00:42:16.349 --> 00:42:20.469
it? Oh. This atrocity. There we go. If you happen

00:42:20.469 --> 00:42:22.710
to hear this horrible atrocity, then, you know,

00:42:22.710 --> 00:42:26.650
hey, send us an email. Yeah. And I forgot what

00:42:26.650 --> 00:42:30.630
the valid email is, so. We put so many bullshit

00:42:30.630 --> 00:42:33.070
ones out there, we can't remember our real one.

00:42:33.150 --> 00:42:35.750
I know. There is a valid one, and I can't remember

00:42:35.750 --> 00:42:40.230
what the hell it is. We also have an actual real

00:42:40.230 --> 00:42:42.809
phone number. Hell if I know that one either.

00:42:44.139 --> 00:42:46.179
Yeah, so I can't even remember the real one.

00:42:46.300 --> 00:42:52.360
There you go. Show prep. Yeah. Here I was talking

00:42:52.360 --> 00:42:54.360
about show prep and making a big deal out of

00:42:54.360 --> 00:42:58.380
it, and I can't even remember our email. So,

00:42:58.380 --> 00:43:01.000
anyhow, meanwhile, there's this one security

00:43:01.000 --> 00:43:03.300
guard named Sam that I kind of alluded to or

00:43:03.300 --> 00:43:06.039
actually went into a little bit. Sam was a jealous

00:43:06.039 --> 00:43:09.900
little pussy bitch. He constantly tried to get

00:43:09.900 --> 00:43:11.539
me kicked out and barred from the mall. And like

00:43:11.539 --> 00:43:13.860
I said earlier, he did for a while, for a couple

00:43:13.860 --> 00:43:16.380
of weeks. And we went to court. I got back in,

00:43:16.440 --> 00:43:19.559
which really fumed his ass, burned his ass. Because

00:43:19.559 --> 00:43:21.940
every time I seen him, I was like overzealous

00:43:21.940 --> 00:43:25.320
about him. Hi, Sam, how are you? He came over

00:43:25.320 --> 00:43:27.639
for dinner tonight, little guy. A little tiny

00:43:27.639 --> 00:43:30.639
bit of authority he had, and it's gone. You look

00:43:30.639 --> 00:43:35.340
cute today. I beeped his nose one time. He came

00:43:35.340 --> 00:43:39.780
out and went unglued. So, you know, me and Davey

00:43:39.780 --> 00:43:43.159
used to play Moon Tricks on Sam constantly. Sounds

00:43:43.159 --> 00:43:46.300
like he deserved it. Oh, he did, you know. So

00:43:46.300 --> 00:43:49.500
we quickly went to Jason to be the casual guy

00:43:49.500 --> 00:43:52.239
walking by to sell it. So Jason's over in the

00:43:52.239 --> 00:43:54.539
corner where the movement theaters upstairs used

00:43:54.539 --> 00:43:57.179
to be because then they went downstairs for a

00:43:57.179 --> 00:43:59.239
while and then they disappeared. Oh, yeah. Yeah,

00:43:59.559 --> 00:44:02.639
they used to be upstairs, mid -upstairs. So I

00:44:02.639 --> 00:44:05.090
think right across from Food Court maybe. If

00:44:05.090 --> 00:44:07.469
I remember correctly. Now in my mind, I'm getting

00:44:07.469 --> 00:44:10.010
confused with Ward Parkway because their movie

00:44:10.010 --> 00:44:13.130
theater shifted around a bit too. Okay, well,

00:44:13.190 --> 00:44:15.429
anyhow, this is when they were upstairs because

00:44:15.429 --> 00:44:18.070
I remember that part well because people were

00:44:18.070 --> 00:44:20.469
coming in to go to the movies and were screwing

00:44:20.469 --> 00:44:23.329
with them. Yeah. So Davey and I set this one

00:44:23.329 --> 00:44:27.110
up perfectly. We had a buddy that he won a backstage

00:44:27.110 --> 00:44:33.639
pass to Great White. I'll remember that. It's

00:44:33.639 --> 00:44:36.480
a video shoot, okay? As an extra. Oh, that'd

00:44:36.480 --> 00:44:40.059
be cool. Yeah. And he was in it. I don't know

00:44:40.059 --> 00:44:41.960
if it was once bit or something else, but he

00:44:41.960 --> 00:44:45.760
was in it. And on the back was stamped used.

00:44:46.300 --> 00:44:50.900
But on the front, it had an MTV logo. It didn't

00:44:50.900 --> 00:44:53.579
have a specific band. It didn't say Great White.

00:44:53.739 --> 00:44:57.469
It just said, Extra for MTV Video Shoot. And

00:44:57.469 --> 00:44:59.590
I remember it really well. It was green with

00:44:59.590 --> 00:45:02.690
an orange MTV on it with her famous logo. Yeah.

00:45:02.869 --> 00:45:05.110
It was really cool looking, and it was made with

00:45:05.110 --> 00:45:11.610
some sort of a really thick paper, and it was

00:45:11.610 --> 00:45:14.909
engraved, I guess. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it was raised.

00:45:14.989 --> 00:45:17.190
It felt great. It felt like the seal of something.

00:45:17.309 --> 00:45:19.949
Embossed paper. Embossed. Raised printing. Raised

00:45:19.949 --> 00:45:22.309
printing, whatever. Makes it a lot harder to

00:45:22.309 --> 00:45:24.699
counterfeit. Yes, indeed. Makes it look cool.

00:45:24.820 --> 00:45:27.159
So our friend agreed to let us borrow this for

00:45:27.159 --> 00:45:28.679
a little while. We got it back to him like we

00:45:28.679 --> 00:45:31.699
said. We didn't tear it up or steal it or nothing.

00:45:32.559 --> 00:45:34.440
Davey started waving the card in the air and

00:45:34.440 --> 00:45:37.619
making fun of me because he got this and I didn't.

00:45:37.699 --> 00:45:42.559
He was like, I'm going to be on this whatever.

00:45:45.480 --> 00:45:47.340
So he's waving around going, I'm going to be

00:45:47.340 --> 00:45:48.820
on the video and you're not because you're too

00:45:48.820 --> 00:45:51.460
stupid and you couldn't win and all this stuff,

00:45:51.559 --> 00:45:55.199
right? So this magical card was supposed to be

00:45:55.199 --> 00:45:58.880
a freebie to be an extra on the set of MTV. This

00:45:58.880 --> 00:46:01.480
is what we set it up to be, right? A list of

00:46:01.480 --> 00:46:04.960
hundreds of bands. The secret MTV guy walking

00:46:04.960 --> 00:46:07.699
around, he was walking around the mall and this

00:46:07.699 --> 00:46:10.539
was going to be Sam eventually. So the secret

00:46:10.539 --> 00:46:13.579
MTV guy that has these free magical passes was

00:46:13.579 --> 00:46:17.550
Sam, only he didn't know it. So Davey's like,

00:46:17.570 --> 00:46:21.150
and I'm like, fucking asshole. Yeah, all this

00:46:21.150 --> 00:46:24.530
stuff. So automatically, see people getting ready

00:46:24.530 --> 00:46:26.630
to walk in, right? Getting ready to go to a movie,

00:46:26.670 --> 00:46:30.829
they're like, yeah, just like magnetic. They're

00:46:30.829 --> 00:46:33.750
just staring at us. And Davey's like, and all

00:46:33.750 --> 00:46:35.710
this stuff. I'm like, man, it sucks, man. You

00:46:35.710 --> 00:46:38.510
get to go and I don't. So Davey is waving this

00:46:38.510 --> 00:46:40.809
around, making fun of me, and Jason will walk

00:46:40.809 --> 00:46:43.969
by. They go, yeah, I fucking won one too, but

00:46:43.969 --> 00:46:45.610
I threw it at them because there's no punk bands

00:46:45.610 --> 00:46:49.210
on it. Fuck that. I don't want to go. So all

00:46:49.210 --> 00:46:51.050
of a sudden, those kids are fucking coming over

00:46:51.050 --> 00:46:56.809
there. What was this? That's so clever. Oh, yeah.

00:46:57.650 --> 00:47:02.590
We set it up perfect. So the reason that we picked

00:47:02.590 --> 00:47:06.190
Sam to do this on that day was because we had

00:47:06.190 --> 00:47:08.369
the card for a couple of days. He was wearing

00:47:08.369 --> 00:47:10.829
plain clothes. And I guess he thought he was

00:47:10.829 --> 00:47:12.929
going to catch shoplifters or something not wearing

00:47:12.929 --> 00:47:14.949
his little fucking bitch outfit that he normally

00:47:14.949 --> 00:47:20.710
wore. So Jason, instead of us, goes, yeah, that

00:47:20.710 --> 00:47:22.530
fucking little douche right there is the one.

00:47:22.630 --> 00:47:24.889
That's the secret MTV guy. We didn't even say

00:47:24.889 --> 00:47:27.510
it. He did it. It sold it even more. Because

00:47:27.510 --> 00:47:30.230
all these teens are like, you know, fucking their

00:47:30.230 --> 00:47:32.409
heads sputter out and they're staring at him.

00:47:33.809 --> 00:47:37.590
So Jason said, yeah, he goes, yeah, I bit him

00:47:37.590 --> 00:47:43.610
on the ear to get one. So the story was this.

00:47:43.969 --> 00:47:46.230
It's getting better and better. The more outrageous

00:47:46.230 --> 00:47:49.170
you were, the more likely you were to get a free

00:47:49.170 --> 00:47:53.889
pass. Oh, that's perfect. Yeah. So automatically,

00:47:54.269 --> 00:47:57.550
he had like 50 teens jumping in front of him,

00:47:57.590 --> 00:48:00.250
fucking biting his ear, kicking him in the ass.

00:48:00.469 --> 00:48:03.090
One guy was clucking like a chicken in his face.

00:48:03.409 --> 00:48:06.869
Another guy's like, look, I'm a bird. Some guy

00:48:06.869 --> 00:48:10.349
fucking jumped off to one side. Another guy ripped

00:48:10.349 --> 00:48:12.789
off one of the trees and hit him with a switch.

00:48:14.409 --> 00:48:18.050
And Sam was just fucking freaking out, man. He's

00:48:18.050 --> 00:48:19.590
like, what the fuck? And they're like, we want

00:48:19.590 --> 00:48:21.869
a pass. We want a pass. He's like, what pass?

00:48:22.449 --> 00:48:25.469
This probably went on for fucking 25 minutes.

00:48:25.809 --> 00:48:29.090
He was losing his mind. Yes, he was. He didn't

00:48:29.090 --> 00:48:30.230
know what was going on. What planet did I wake

00:48:30.230 --> 00:48:32.710
up on? You get 10 teens away from him, right?

00:48:33.309 --> 00:48:37.349
And then you have 10 more teens attacking. So,

00:48:37.349 --> 00:48:40.679
look, we leave. We let this go on and let it

00:48:40.679 --> 00:48:42.900
go downhill. And those teams told another one,

00:48:42.940 --> 00:48:44.519
get the pass from that fucker. He didn't give

00:48:44.519 --> 00:48:47.380
us anything. So this just kept rolling on and

00:48:47.380 --> 00:48:51.730
rolling on and rolling on. we come back a couple

00:48:51.730 --> 00:48:53.829
hours later we went to oh no i know what we did

00:48:53.829 --> 00:48:56.630
we went to andy santa fe and had a burrito we

00:48:56.630 --> 00:48:59.590
weren't even old enough to drink but we still

00:48:59.590 --> 00:49:02.289
did because they never carded there we both had

00:49:02.289 --> 00:49:04.730
margaritas or a laugh and had our feet on the

00:49:04.730 --> 00:49:08.469
table and davy had flip -flops on so they eventually

00:49:08.469 --> 00:49:10.989
got mad and kicked us out because you can see

00:49:10.989 --> 00:49:13.070
his toenails hanging out and people didn't like

00:49:13.070 --> 00:49:17.750
that yeah so So, hey, we get back in, and all

00:49:17.750 --> 00:49:19.849
of a sudden we see Sam coming by, all disheveled.

00:49:19.849 --> 00:49:22.110
By this time, everything was gone. It was all

00:49:22.110 --> 00:49:25.869
said and done. I go, hey, Sam, do you want to

00:49:25.869 --> 00:49:29.889
know where all that came from? Davey pulled out

00:49:29.889 --> 00:49:31.829
the card and said, see this? I go, yeah, you

00:49:31.829 --> 00:49:34.170
just been had, bitch. Oh, he was fucking furious.

00:49:34.250 --> 00:49:35.769
He turned around and said, you motherfucker,

00:49:36.190 --> 00:49:37.909
I'm going to get you out of here. I'm going to

00:49:37.909 --> 00:49:39.570
get you guys kicked out for good. I go, what

00:49:39.570 --> 00:49:44.139
for? I didn't do anything against them all. We

00:49:44.139 --> 00:49:49.340
didn't get kicked out. That was one of the best

00:49:49.340 --> 00:49:51.440
fucking breaks we ever played. It was brilliant.

00:49:51.820 --> 00:49:53.559
And I just thought about it the other day. I'm

00:49:53.559 --> 00:49:57.940
like, my God. There are some other ones I got

00:49:57.940 --> 00:50:01.739
to remember that we did to him, too. And then

00:50:01.739 --> 00:50:06.280
I got another one. You listen to the solo cast,

00:50:06.500 --> 00:50:08.500
right? I'm going to tell the story about the

00:50:08.500 --> 00:50:24.739
nut biter. Oh, yes. Oh, gosh. Big. Two douchebags,

00:50:24.900 --> 00:50:26.780
a microphone, I'm Mark here in the Kansas City

00:50:26.780 --> 00:50:33.159
area at the Talk is Cheap studio. And I am Rob

00:50:33.159 --> 00:50:36.099
of the beautiful nine walls of Lake of the Ozarks

00:50:36.099 --> 00:50:39.500
in the Duck Blind studio. Quack, quack, on out.

00:50:40.179 --> 00:50:45.440
Alright, we got some emails here. First one right

00:50:45.440 --> 00:50:50.539
off the bat. Like I said, hate emails go to the

00:50:50.539 --> 00:50:53.949
front, right? Right. Yeah, we love hate emails,

00:50:54.110 --> 00:50:58.789
so this is a hate email. The Foodie Doody sounds

00:50:58.789 --> 00:51:02.010
stupid. We don't want your food reviews. Take

00:51:02.010 --> 00:51:04.610
up another hobby like poking your eyes out with

00:51:04.610 --> 00:51:07.869
a piece of jagged glass. Mickey in Silver Springs.

00:51:09.869 --> 00:51:13.969
I was going to send Mickey $300 for the hell

00:51:13.969 --> 00:51:19.190
of it. Not now. You were too, weren't you? Yeah,

00:51:19.210 --> 00:51:22.269
that's what we agreed on. Yeah, we agreed on

00:51:22.269 --> 00:51:25.230
$300 from each one of us because we liked you.

00:51:25.409 --> 00:51:27.750
But then after that email, I don't think we should.

00:51:27.809 --> 00:51:33.530
What do you think? I don't think so either. All

00:51:33.530 --> 00:51:35.090
right, Mickey, that's what you get for being

00:51:35.090 --> 00:51:39.210
a dick. No $600. I had it right here. Rob was

00:51:39.210 --> 00:51:41.730
getting ready to mail it off. He showed me. We

00:51:41.730 --> 00:51:45.750
were on a phone, you know, video phone call.

00:51:46.239 --> 00:51:48.860
And he had the $300. He said, I love Mickey and

00:51:48.860 --> 00:51:51.079
Silver Springs. I think he deserves his $300.

00:51:51.539 --> 00:51:53.559
And I said, you know what, Rob? I'm going to

00:51:53.559 --> 00:51:55.980
take your $300. I'm going to raise you $300.

00:51:56.159 --> 00:51:58.440
You're going to get $600, but not now because

00:51:58.440 --> 00:52:00.900
you're being a dick, Mickey. All right. Well,

00:52:01.000 --> 00:52:04.900
he missed that, didn't he? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah,

00:52:04.920 --> 00:52:08.159
that's right, Mick. That's right. All right.

00:52:08.179 --> 00:52:10.739
Next one. Clint says he's going to take Rob's

00:52:10.739 --> 00:52:13.340
spot on the douchebag soon and will destroy Mark

00:52:13.340 --> 00:52:17.519
while taking over the whole podcast. Flint, Clint's

00:52:17.519 --> 00:52:27.480
younger brother, by another marriage. Okay. Flint

00:52:27.480 --> 00:52:33.039
said this about Clint. Clint's younger brother.

00:52:34.320 --> 00:52:38.719
You got anything for these idiots? No. I don't

00:52:38.719 --> 00:52:46.389
either. We move on. And as far as email goes,

00:52:46.650 --> 00:52:48.829
I think they're starting to lose a little bit,

00:52:48.869 --> 00:52:52.110
don't you? They were, they had all, I don't know.

00:52:52.250 --> 00:52:54.269
It seems like the last few ones are starting

00:52:54.269 --> 00:52:58.230
to get a little stale. Raise the bar, Clint.

00:52:58.710 --> 00:53:01.309
Yeah, raise the bar, Clint, or don't fucking

00:53:01.309 --> 00:53:04.889
email us. Come on, you can do better. All right.

00:53:06.090 --> 00:53:09.550
Mark, you are so out of touch. Pawpaw fruit is

00:53:09.550 --> 00:53:12.630
an American icon. Its popularity has become enormous

00:53:12.630 --> 00:53:15.849
over the last couple of years. Just thought I

00:53:15.849 --> 00:53:19.690
would let you know, Carmen. I looked it up. She's

00:53:19.690 --> 00:53:22.150
right. I didn't know pawpaw fruit was such a

00:53:22.150 --> 00:53:24.250
thing again. As a matter of fact, I didn't even

00:53:24.250 --> 00:53:27.530
know pawpaw fruit was a thing, did you? I don't

00:53:27.530 --> 00:53:31.190
remember it growing up. I had heard of it, but

00:53:31.190 --> 00:53:36.110
I don't think I have ever had it. Well, no, I

00:53:36.110 --> 00:53:38.449
don't think I have either, but this all started

00:53:38.449 --> 00:53:41.800
because there's gummies. There's THC gummies

00:53:41.800 --> 00:53:44.280
that are pawpaw fruit, and I question why it's

00:53:44.280 --> 00:53:47.300
pawpaw fruit. Like, why isn't it orange? Why

00:53:47.300 --> 00:53:51.619
isn't it grape? I mean, pineapple even. But pawpaw

00:53:51.619 --> 00:53:54.320
fruit? Why in the hell would you make something

00:53:54.320 --> 00:53:58.340
pawpaw fruit is what I'm saying. And anyhow,

00:53:58.500 --> 00:54:01.260
it's a thing now, so I guess I stand corrected.

00:54:01.300 --> 00:54:03.840
People like it again. I don't even think I've

00:54:03.840 --> 00:54:09.739
ever had it. The actual fruit. So, anyhow. All

00:54:09.739 --> 00:54:12.539
right, next one. What is your Gatorade Zero flavor

00:54:12.539 --> 00:54:18.179
you like the best? Jerry in Indianapolis. I think

00:54:18.179 --> 00:54:20.900
orange, and then a close second is lemon -lime,

00:54:20.960 --> 00:54:23.780
then a close third is just grape. Not glacier

00:54:23.780 --> 00:54:26.000
grape or nothing like that, just regular grape.

00:54:26.159 --> 00:54:30.679
And then fruit punch. So thank you, Jerry in

00:54:30.679 --> 00:54:35.480
Indy. Rob. Do you wear jewelry, including watches

00:54:35.480 --> 00:54:38.059
or necklaces? I don't know why they asked and

00:54:38.059 --> 00:54:40.500
there's not a name. They didn't give their name.

00:54:42.019 --> 00:55:07.469
Okay, well, yes, I do wear a pinky ring. turquoise

00:55:07.469 --> 00:55:11.849
in it. Well, I went to put my first stone in

00:55:11.849 --> 00:55:18.269
it, which is aquamarine. Well, aquamarine was

00:55:18.269 --> 00:55:22.130
very expensive, especially in this tiny, tiny

00:55:22.130 --> 00:55:55.289
little stone. Very cool. I don't know what their

00:55:55.289 --> 00:55:57.429
name was or nothing. I don't know why they wanted

00:55:57.429 --> 00:56:00.170
to know that, but there you go. I think it's

00:56:00.170 --> 00:56:01.690
kind of cool they want to know little intricate

00:56:01.690 --> 00:56:06.570
stuff like that about us. Either that or they

00:56:06.570 --> 00:56:34.900
wanted to rob you. I think I lost mine, too.

00:56:35.219 --> 00:56:38.920
I've already started packing things. Millie,

00:56:38.920 --> 00:56:41.340
I'll try to look for it, but I couldn't find

00:56:41.340 --> 00:56:44.380
it earlier either. Yeah, I've already started

00:56:44.380 --> 00:56:47.000
packing things. I've already got a lot of my

00:56:47.000 --> 00:56:49.679
kitchen packed, so my recipes are already packed

00:56:49.679 --> 00:56:53.099
up. Okay, I'm sure there's... And I'm like you,

00:56:53.139 --> 00:56:54.820
I don't remember that one right off the bat.

00:56:54.920 --> 00:57:00.199
No, me neither. I'm sorry. So, Millie, I think

00:57:00.199 --> 00:57:02.920
that probably I had to look and see what it is

00:57:02.920 --> 00:57:06.079
again. Blueberry pumpkin bread with green olives

00:57:06.079 --> 00:57:09.889
recipe. I think that there's probably thousands

00:57:09.889 --> 00:57:12.250
of recipes for that online. Wouldn't you think

00:57:12.250 --> 00:57:14.929
so? Yeah, you would think so. That should be

00:57:14.929 --> 00:57:17.869
pretty common. Yeah, that's such a popular dish.

00:57:18.150 --> 00:57:19.849
I mean, who doesn't have that for Thanksgiving?

00:57:20.929 --> 00:57:24.530
Yeah. So, yeah, I would look that up. It's everywhere.

00:57:24.650 --> 00:57:28.170
I guarantee it. So, enjoy, Millie. Sorry we couldn't

00:57:28.170 --> 00:57:30.750
help you like that. And then I have a featured

00:57:30.750 --> 00:57:33.630
email here. And this is going to involve a story

00:57:33.630 --> 00:57:36.869
because someone... You know how my friends always...

00:57:37.239 --> 00:57:39.880
remind me of shit that happened like you do a

00:57:39.880 --> 00:57:42.400
lot of times. Yes. Okay. Well, I got another

00:57:42.400 --> 00:57:45.159
one like that. And it's funny because I have

00:57:45.159 --> 00:57:47.800
a lot of people that I know personally listen

00:57:47.800 --> 00:57:51.039
and they always call me on stuff like this. So

00:57:51.039 --> 00:57:53.320
anyhow, I love it though. It's a great little

00:57:53.320 --> 00:57:56.679
thing that they do. Mark, I just listened to

00:57:56.679 --> 00:57:59.460
the mailbox baseball podcast. You're way behind.

00:58:00.480 --> 00:58:04.440
So why don't you tell the shiny mailbox story?

00:58:04.559 --> 00:58:08.090
This is my friend, Jeff. And I had to ask him

00:58:08.090 --> 00:58:10.289
because I'd forgotten all about it. He refreshed

00:58:10.289 --> 00:58:13.570
me. I forgot all about the shiny mailbox completely.

00:58:14.170 --> 00:58:18.309
So here's the story. Jeff refreshed me. So here

00:58:18.309 --> 00:58:20.989
we go. I was operating a flatbed laser at a sheet

00:58:20.989 --> 00:58:23.750
metal company. I was digging through some different

00:58:23.750 --> 00:58:26.670
programs looking for a particular one that I

00:58:26.670 --> 00:58:29.570
would need for the next project. I saw in the

00:58:29.570 --> 00:58:31.630
computer file that said birthdays, Christmas,

00:58:31.829 --> 00:58:34.719
and other special days. So, you know, I'm going

00:58:34.719 --> 00:58:37.039
to do like anyone else, right? You see a file

00:58:37.039 --> 00:58:39.719
with all that on it, right? You open it up, right?

00:58:41.139 --> 00:58:43.119
Yeah. Yeah, you've got to see what it is. I mean,

00:58:43.159 --> 00:58:45.119
birthdays, Christmas, and other special days.

00:58:45.460 --> 00:58:47.980
And it was a program to make parts for a metal

00:58:47.980 --> 00:58:51.719
mailbox. So I load it during the lunch break

00:58:51.719 --> 00:58:54.059
and grab some 12 -gauge stainless scrap metal.

00:58:54.519 --> 00:58:56.579
I get the parts and I weld them all together.

00:58:57.199 --> 00:58:59.900
This looks great, but it has ugly brown welds

00:58:59.900 --> 00:59:01.820
on it, so I decided to give it a nice finish.

00:59:02.519 --> 00:59:05.079
I went with a number 8 polish, which is a mirror

00:59:05.079 --> 00:59:08.219
finish that is so clear you can shave in front

00:59:08.219 --> 00:59:11.659
of it. It is a mirror finish, for real. And it's

00:59:11.659 --> 00:59:15.159
on metal. It's beautiful. I installed the mailbox

00:59:15.159 --> 00:59:18.619
out in front of my old house in Cleveland. Little

00:59:18.619 --> 00:59:21.119
did I know that on sunny days that glare from

00:59:21.119 --> 00:59:24.440
the shiny mailbox blinded drivers when they drove

00:59:24.440 --> 00:59:27.880
in front of the house. Now think about how bad

00:59:27.880 --> 00:59:31.440
that would blind you. A number 8 mirror finish.

00:59:31.860 --> 00:59:34.179
Yeah. I didn't think about it. I put it out in

00:59:34.179 --> 00:59:36.019
front of my house. I was all proud of it. I got

00:59:36.019 --> 00:59:38.619
the best looking mailbox ever. Look at how beautiful

00:59:38.619 --> 00:59:43.719
that is. I'm all stoked. I started getting pranked.

00:59:43.719 --> 00:59:46.760
Someone put a used looking Kotex. It started

00:59:46.760 --> 00:59:49.139
with that in my mailbox. I'm like, okay, cute.

00:59:49.920 --> 00:59:53.639
Alright, whatever. I get a pair of tongs. After

00:59:53.639 --> 00:59:56.039
I got done, I soaked them in gasoline or something.

00:59:56.340 --> 00:59:59.710
Picked up the... He was looking Kotex and probably

00:59:59.710 --> 01:00:02.389
threw it in a neighbor's ditch. I would guess.

01:00:02.710 --> 01:00:04.969
Yeah, probably. That's what I would do. Yeah,

01:00:04.969 --> 01:00:06.949
that's what you do. It's like, fuck, I don't

01:00:06.949 --> 01:00:10.469
want to. Here, here, you have it. So, then cat

01:00:10.469 --> 01:00:13.989
shit after that. And then gum. Someone put gum

01:00:13.989 --> 01:00:18.030
inside the mailbox when it was 95 degrees. And

01:00:18.030 --> 01:00:20.389
it melted everywhere. And I'm thinking, why?

01:00:20.550 --> 01:00:24.010
Why the sudden barrage of gross pranks on me,

01:00:24.030 --> 01:00:26.369
right? I'm like. Where is this coming from? Is

01:00:26.369 --> 01:00:28.469
this some friend of mine thinking it's cute or

01:00:28.469 --> 01:00:30.650
something? I'm sitting there perplexed, scratching

01:00:30.650 --> 01:00:32.889
my head, going, why is this happening? Well,

01:00:32.889 --> 01:00:35.050
I got my answer a few days later when a friend

01:00:35.050 --> 01:00:37.489
up the road was blinded by the mailbox and completely

01:00:37.489 --> 01:00:42.230
ripped it down with his golf cart. I'm like,

01:00:42.309 --> 01:00:45.469
I go out there, and he's an older guy, and he

01:00:45.469 --> 01:00:48.070
goes, that fucking mailbox. He goes, I'm glad

01:00:48.070 --> 01:00:50.949
it's down. I'm like, why? He goes, it blinds

01:00:50.949 --> 01:00:53.710
everybody, you dumbass. He goes, walk over here.

01:00:54.190 --> 01:00:57.289
See, I always go in front of it, open it, and

01:00:57.289 --> 01:00:59.889
get my mail. I don't go from like I'm coming

01:00:59.889 --> 01:01:02.969
at it, right? I go over there like, wow, shit,

01:01:03.110 --> 01:01:07.409
you can't see nothing. So while it was down,

01:01:07.670 --> 01:01:10.510
I left it down. I took it, and I put it in the

01:01:10.510 --> 01:01:13.309
shed, and it stayed there until I sold the house.

01:01:13.389 --> 01:01:15.630
Someone else got it. Someone else inherited it.

01:01:15.690 --> 01:01:18.650
I hope they didn't put it out in front. I bet

01:01:18.650 --> 01:01:22.469
they did. They probably did. And that was the

01:01:22.469 --> 01:01:25.650
end of that. I had no fucking idea that it was

01:01:25.650 --> 01:01:28.590
blinding everybody. I'll bet you there was so

01:01:28.590 --> 01:01:31.429
many pissed off people that went by my house.

01:01:31.449 --> 01:01:34.150
What the fuck did that guy do? What the hell

01:01:34.150 --> 01:01:37.869
is that? Because it actually looked like a large,

01:01:37.929 --> 01:01:40.630
bright sunlight. Just, you know, like a beam

01:01:40.630 --> 01:01:43.510
coming right at your face. And it literally blinded

01:01:43.510 --> 01:01:48.610
you temporarily. Anyhow, that's a featured email.

01:01:50.099 --> 01:01:53.860
And anyhow, thank you, Jeff, for bringing that

01:01:53.860 --> 01:01:55.860
to my attention. And thank you for reminding

01:01:55.860 --> 01:01:58.699
me, because I didn't remember that at all. I

01:01:58.699 --> 01:02:00.940
probably would have never remembered that ever

01:02:00.940 --> 01:02:03.519
again if he didn't remind me. You know how some

01:02:03.519 --> 01:02:05.880
stories just, you know, some things that happen

01:02:05.880 --> 01:02:09.119
just escape you? Yeah. Yeah. That was one that

01:02:09.119 --> 01:02:11.059
I just, I don't think ever thought of again.

01:02:11.260 --> 01:02:14.710
So it didn't really harm his golf cart. didn't

01:02:14.710 --> 01:02:16.829
harm him, so it was all good, you know, we're

01:02:16.829 --> 01:02:18.530
all laughing about it afterwards, and he goes,

01:02:18.610 --> 01:02:21.869
well, while I damp things down, put it in, you

01:02:21.869 --> 01:02:24.050
know, get it out of here. Put a regular mailbox

01:02:24.050 --> 01:02:26.469
in, and I did. I went to Lowe's, and I bought

01:02:26.469 --> 01:02:28.710
a big plastic one with one of those big wooden

01:02:28.710 --> 01:02:32.150
cross -looking, almost half -cross -looking things,

01:02:32.369 --> 01:02:35.809
set it in the ground with a little quick -crete,

01:02:35.989 --> 01:02:41.909
bolted on the plastic mailbox, and... Might still

01:02:41.909 --> 01:02:43.369
be there. I don't know. I haven't been by there

01:02:43.369 --> 01:02:47.130
in a long time. So, anyhow, Rob, we turn this

01:02:47.130 --> 01:02:50.710
whole thing to you. All right. Well, it's time

01:02:50.710 --> 01:02:55.710
again for Rob's bag of garbage. Oh, I'm going

01:02:55.710 --> 01:02:58.449
to have to come up with, damn it, I forgot to

01:02:58.449 --> 01:03:00.510
do that. I was going to come up with some noises.

01:03:01.050 --> 01:03:04.510
So, anyhow, keep going. Maybe I can throw some

01:03:04.510 --> 01:03:09.349
in here somewhere. Okay, well, I've got two for

01:03:09.349 --> 01:03:14.039
tonight. Okay. Margaret Dahlman, a 52 -year -old

01:03:14.039 --> 01:03:18.599
woman from Rotterdam, Netherlands, was admitted

01:03:18.599 --> 01:03:23.000
to the hospital after x -rays revealed an astonishing

01:03:23.000 --> 01:03:30.659
78 pieces of cutlery in her stomach. Yes, 78

01:03:30.659 --> 01:03:35.420
pieces of cutlery. Surgeons were left in disbelief

01:03:35.420 --> 01:03:38.000
as they discovered that the woman had been consuming

01:03:38.000 --> 01:03:47.260
pork what was described as some kind of obsession.

01:03:48.039 --> 01:03:52.599
In a critical condition, she underwent surgery

01:03:52.599 --> 01:03:56.039
to remove the foreign objects. The medical team

01:03:56.039 --> 01:04:00.179
painstakingly extracted each piece of cutlery

01:04:00.179 --> 01:04:04.019
from her stomach one by one. Although she was

01:04:04.019 --> 01:04:25.260
diagnosed with a borderline Wow. Okay. Jeez.

01:04:25.420 --> 01:04:33.300
And? Go ahead, what? Lastly for tonight? Uh -huh.

01:04:59.239 --> 01:06:05.150
he was a He was beautiful, too. Yes, he was.

01:06:05.730 --> 01:06:09.070
Yep. I was a big fan of Scarface. He was a gorgeous,

01:06:09.150 --> 01:06:13.849
gorgeous cat. Yes. Well, I'm glad you know who

01:06:13.849 --> 01:06:16.070
I'm talking about. Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yep.

01:06:17.030 --> 01:06:20.949
Oh, wow. Thank you, Rob. Your bag of garbage

01:06:20.949 --> 01:06:29.289
never lets us down. That's for sure. Good. Anyhow,

01:06:29.369 --> 01:06:32.250
you might hear some sound effects over us or

01:06:32.250 --> 01:06:33.989
something. That's the best I can do for this

01:06:33.989 --> 01:06:36.730
one because I forgot to, I don't know. I've got

01:06:36.730 --> 01:06:38.550
to make some garbage sounds or something. Maybe

01:06:38.550 --> 01:06:41.989
like a garbage truck. What do you think? Hey,

01:06:41.989 --> 01:06:44.210
that would work. Yeah, yeah. Let me write that

01:06:44.210 --> 01:06:47.429
down. A garbage truck and maybe some people yelling

01:06:47.429 --> 01:06:51.530
in the background or something. All right. Garbage

01:06:51.530 --> 01:07:05.460
truck. Poor Rob's garbage. Garbage. All right.

01:07:06.000 --> 01:07:11.760
Joan Heblack of San Rafael, California, was enjoying

01:07:11.760 --> 01:07:15.039
a walk in her neighborhood when a squirrel came

01:07:15.039 --> 01:07:17.820
out of nowhere to claw and bite her while we're

01:07:17.820 --> 01:07:22.079
on animals. To claw and bite her. KGO -TV reported

01:07:22.079 --> 01:07:25.199
on September 22nd her injuries sent her to the

01:07:25.199 --> 01:07:29.179
emergency room. Heblack, Heblack, Heblack, whatever

01:07:29.179 --> 01:07:32.039
her name is, isn't the only victim of an attack

01:07:32.039 --> 01:07:35.199
squirrel in the area. About five people have

01:07:35.199 --> 01:07:37.780
been attacked. The flyers have been posted on

01:07:37.780 --> 01:07:40.539
utility poles warning residents of the very mean

01:07:40.539 --> 01:07:44.659
squirrel. Lisa Block of Merrim Humane Society

01:07:44.659 --> 01:07:48.719
said that such attacks are likely the result

01:07:48.719 --> 01:07:51.340
of someone feeding it. When wildlife is fed by

01:07:51.340 --> 01:07:54.199
humans, they can lose their natural fear and

01:07:54.199 --> 01:08:00.809
act more emboldened. The L .A. County Department

01:08:00.809 --> 01:08:03.510
of Public Health assures locals that squirrels

01:08:03.510 --> 01:08:06.730
do not spread rabies. So everyone that was attacked

01:08:06.730 --> 01:08:08.989
by a squirrel does not have to get those painful

01:08:08.989 --> 01:08:14.110
rabies shots. And I didn't find a follow -up,

01:08:14.130 --> 01:08:16.170
so I guess they never caught this attack squirrel.

01:08:16.930 --> 01:08:21.789
So, anyhow. Wow. Yeah, I know, an attack squirrel.

01:08:21.850 --> 01:08:23.649
Wouldn't that be great to have like a couple

01:08:23.649 --> 01:08:27.869
of attack squirrels in your house? Somebody breaks

01:08:27.869 --> 01:08:29.340
in. Yeah, that would be great. Oh yeah, little

01:08:29.340 --> 01:08:31.539
fuckers like run up your leg and bite your nuts.

01:08:31.800 --> 01:08:34.100
Wouldn't that be great? Or jump on your face

01:08:34.100 --> 01:08:36.920
and like bite your eyes or some shit. Oh, that'd

01:08:36.920 --> 01:08:38.779
be awesome. That'd be like, what happened to

01:08:38.779 --> 01:08:42.380
you? Fucking squirrel. Where? I was trying to

01:08:42.380 --> 01:08:43.939
rob that house and he had a couple of attack

01:08:43.939 --> 01:08:47.859
squirrels. What? That'd be awesome. All right,

01:08:47.899 --> 01:08:49.659
let's take our second break. We're going to come

01:08:49.659 --> 01:08:51.979
back with something from you, Rob. Good? All

01:08:51.979 --> 01:08:59.529
right. That's what's going to happen. And now,

01:08:59.649 --> 01:09:02.930
a brand new feature, strange insults from an

01:09:02.930 --> 01:09:08.710
alien. May your mother come to talk to you, and

01:09:08.710 --> 01:09:13.010
then leave your door slightly ajar, so that you

01:09:13.010 --> 01:09:17.449
may have to get up and close it. Next up, things

01:09:17.449 --> 01:09:22.350
overheard in hell. Socks with socks are the only

01:09:22.350 --> 01:09:28.149
footwear allowed in hell. Strange, but true.

01:09:29.100 --> 01:09:32.279
In 2011, a 29 -year -old Australian man discovered

01:09:32.279 --> 01:09:34.859
an ATM glitch, enabling him to withdraw cash

01:09:34.859 --> 01:09:37.640
far beyond his account balance. Over a span of

01:09:37.640 --> 01:09:40.380
five months, he splurged $1 .6 million of the

01:09:40.380 --> 01:09:43.500
bank's funds on lavish parties, private jets,

01:09:43.699 --> 01:09:46.260
international vacations, and even covered his

01:09:46.260 --> 01:09:50.399
friend's university fees. Now that's a friend.

01:09:50.939 --> 01:09:54.039
Oh, hey, look at the time. It's time for the

01:09:54.039 --> 01:09:56.899
crazy -ass word of the day. Cito, cito, hypo

01:09:56.899 --> 01:10:00.350
-parent fire -orgism. Four out of five people

01:10:00.350 --> 01:10:03.170
surveyed said that two douchebags in a microphone

01:10:03.170 --> 01:10:06.369
podcast are more entertaining than a gum infection.

01:10:07.050 --> 01:10:09.810
The fifth one called the cops, and we had to

01:10:09.810 --> 01:10:12.670
leave. Please remember to go to Cole's dressing

01:10:12.670 --> 01:10:15.750
room, wait five minutes, and scream, Hey, there's

01:10:15.750 --> 01:10:23.609
no toilet paper in here! And now we look in on

01:10:23.609 --> 01:10:26.430
the adventures of the Technical Explanation Guy.

01:10:26.859 --> 01:10:29.619
Why, excuse me, editor, sir. Could you please

01:10:29.619 --> 01:10:32.920
pass the Piper Negrum? Do you mean the black

01:10:32.920 --> 01:10:36.420
pepper? Why, yes. Yes, I do mean the black pepper.

01:10:36.720 --> 01:10:39.319
Then just say the black pepper, you dumbass.

01:10:39.819 --> 01:10:43.619
Sheep. The regular Joe Cube public may believe

01:10:43.619 --> 01:10:46.359
anything he hears and sees, but not here at Two

01:10:46.359 --> 01:10:48.800
Douchebags Microphone. Here at Two Douchebags

01:10:48.800 --> 01:10:51.359
Microphone, we question everything. That's why

01:10:51.359 --> 01:10:53.279
we have a little segment we'd like to call I

01:10:53.279 --> 01:10:59.439
Call Bullshit. Bullshit. Bullshit. So, let's

01:10:59.439 --> 01:11:01.460
get this straight. Walmart has settled a $45

01:11:01.460 --> 01:11:04.739
million lawsuit over alleged overcharging customers

01:11:04.739 --> 01:11:08.619
with weight deception. Walmart claims they had

01:11:08.619 --> 01:11:11.720
no wrongdoing. Okay, let's say you're going down

01:11:11.720 --> 01:11:14.500
a 55 -mile stretch of a highway. You're going

01:11:14.500 --> 01:11:18.359
exactly 55 miles an hour. The cop stops you and

01:11:18.359 --> 01:11:20.920
says, you are not going over the speed limit,

01:11:21.039 --> 01:11:24.300
but I'd like to write you a ticket anyhow. Would

01:11:24.300 --> 01:11:27.289
you agree to that? No fucking way would you agree

01:11:27.289 --> 01:11:30.090
to that. So in my opinion, Walmart is full of

01:11:30.090 --> 01:11:32.710
shit. This is a company that has allegedly paid

01:11:32.710 --> 01:11:35.130
as little as possible for their help. Notorious

01:11:35.130 --> 01:11:37.529
for employees not giving a shit. Now they're

01:11:37.529 --> 01:11:40.489
innocent. I call bullshit and the story. Walmart,

01:11:40.590 --> 01:11:42.829
you suck. And now you try to get people to inspect

01:11:42.829 --> 01:11:45.050
your receipt and shopping bags on the way out.

01:11:45.189 --> 01:11:47.810
I don't pay a membership, assholes. I don't have

01:11:47.810 --> 01:11:50.029
to consent to this bullshit. I have a simple

01:11:50.029 --> 01:11:52.369
solution. How about I stop all trade with you?

01:11:53.229 --> 01:11:55.630
One day you will be an afterthought, and as soon

01:11:55.630 --> 01:11:58.210
as people wake up, you will no longer be in existence.

01:11:58.590 --> 01:12:02.470
Walmart, here's a big fuck you. Jamar Chase,

01:12:02.829 --> 01:12:06.050
what in the hell did you say this time? This

01:12:06.050 --> 01:12:08.390
idea has worked out so well for you in the past.

01:12:08.909 --> 01:12:11.250
Just go ahead, fat mouth one of the all -time

01:12:11.250 --> 01:12:13.890
greatest quarterbacks in the league ever. Your

01:12:13.890 --> 01:12:16.770
quote was, without Kelsey, Mahomes is just another

01:12:16.770 --> 01:12:19.710
Kirk Cousins with a headband. Well then, Mr.

01:12:19.869 --> 01:12:22.710
Chase, you should know Kirk Cousins very well.

01:12:23.180 --> 01:12:26.279
You and him have the same amount of rings. You

01:12:26.279 --> 01:12:28.920
remind us of a little lap dog nipping at the

01:12:28.920 --> 01:12:34.979
heels of your daddy. This is Joshua Belmont,

01:12:35.039 --> 01:12:37.840
your food for thought man on The Hustle. So I

01:12:37.840 --> 01:12:39.920
just realized a genius that gets absolutely no

01:12:39.920 --> 01:12:43.380
credit. His name is Marshall Taylor. He is credited

01:12:43.380 --> 01:12:45.680
with the first bag of salad mix that was bagged

01:12:45.680 --> 01:12:49.979
and sold. Yesterday was his birthday. I believe

01:12:49.979 --> 01:12:52.779
he is still alive. This guy's genius will never

01:12:52.779 --> 01:12:56.079
be fully appreciated. Before this ban, we settled

01:12:56.079 --> 01:12:58.500
for iceberg lettuce with maybe a couple of croutons

01:12:58.500 --> 01:13:01.479
and some cheese. Was Mr. Taylor satisfied with

01:13:01.479 --> 01:13:04.880
that? Hell no. He realized that Billy Americana

01:13:04.880 --> 01:13:06.880
would never go out and buy a couple of radishes,

01:13:07.079 --> 01:13:09.319
a couple of carrots, a head of purple cabbage,

01:13:09.479 --> 01:13:12.119
maybe snow peas, and possibly some cute romaine

01:13:12.119 --> 01:13:16.000
lettuce for extra bougie. Mr. Taylor, you should

01:13:16.000 --> 01:13:30.270
have a national holiday. Two douchebags and microphone.

01:13:30.470 --> 01:13:33.210
I'm Mark here in the Kansas City vicinity at

01:13:33.210 --> 01:13:39.810
the Talk is Cheap studio. And I am Rob at the

01:13:39.810 --> 01:13:42.649
beautiful manual arm of Lake of the Ozarks in

01:13:42.649 --> 01:13:47.189
the Duck Blind studio. Wah, wah, for now. All

01:13:47.189 --> 01:13:49.430
right, Rob, we turn this whole shit show over

01:13:49.430 --> 01:13:55.390
to you. All right. An elderly Missouri man was

01:13:55.390 --> 01:13:58.180
showing off his bear sighting picture. and then

01:13:58.180 --> 01:14:01.779
was found dead. But what happened? Moreover,

01:14:02.159 --> 01:14:05.739
what prompted him to take these photos and why

01:14:05.739 --> 01:14:08.579
didn't he leave where he was admitted and spotted?

01:14:10.100 --> 01:14:13.659
That was a good question right there. I think

01:14:13.659 --> 01:16:34.079
so. It's a rare situation, but the second to

01:16:34.079 --> 01:16:42.899
happen in Arkansas recently. Oh, no, the rest

01:16:42.899 --> 01:16:50.939
of it is just mainly comments. There are people

01:16:50.939 --> 01:17:01.199
wanting this bear left alone. a person they're

01:17:01.199 --> 01:17:04.119
going to keep doing it that's the problem they

01:17:04.119 --> 01:17:07.539
taste blood and it's just natural for an animal

01:17:07.539 --> 01:17:12.020
I mean I read where the guy was taking selfies

01:17:12.020 --> 01:17:18.960
near the bear the day before so yeah it didn't

01:17:18.960 --> 01:17:25.779
say how close he was but I don't know this one

01:17:25.779 --> 01:17:33.020
was pretty close yeah I mean, look, I mean, if

01:17:33.020 --> 01:17:35.180
you stay away from bears generally and don't

01:17:35.180 --> 01:17:37.319
screw with them and try to take selfies and stuff,

01:17:37.380 --> 01:17:41.180
they're not going to bother you. Right. What

01:17:41.180 --> 01:17:44.979
pisses me off is all these, allegedly, and I

01:17:44.979 --> 01:17:47.239
don't feel, you know, I don't think it's funny

01:17:47.239 --> 01:17:49.340
that the guy was killed and don't like it at

01:17:49.340 --> 01:17:52.180
all. But the thing is, is if you leave the damn

01:17:52.180 --> 01:17:53.960
bears alone, you're probably not going to get

01:17:53.960 --> 01:17:56.840
bothered. That lady that was killed by him, I

01:17:56.840 --> 01:18:00.600
believe, earlier in the year. I think she was

01:18:00.600 --> 01:18:02.939
doing the same thing, trying to get near the

01:18:02.939 --> 01:18:08.619
bear. Also, this says that he was out there for

01:18:08.619 --> 01:18:12.439
two more days before it happened. That means

01:18:12.439 --> 01:18:18.140
he had food at that campsite. That's true. That's

01:18:18.140 --> 01:18:23.079
what attracts bears. This time of year, do you

01:18:23.079 --> 01:18:25.000
know a little bit about bears and about how they

01:18:25.000 --> 01:18:26.760
have to hibernate? They have to eat all this

01:18:26.760 --> 01:18:30.710
food to hibernate? Yes. Naturally, the bear is

01:18:30.710 --> 01:18:34.869
looking for food. Right now, this time of year,

01:18:35.029 --> 01:18:37.409
they are really on the hunt. Yeah, they're on

01:18:37.409 --> 01:18:40.430
the hunt looking for food because they have to

01:18:40.430 --> 01:18:44.810
eat an enormous amount of food to hibernate all

01:18:44.810 --> 01:18:50.829
winter. So, I mean, is it the bear's fault? Not

01:18:50.829 --> 01:18:54.050
necessarily. I mean, humans screw with animals

01:18:54.050 --> 01:18:56.510
all the time. And look, and like I said, I'm

01:18:56.510 --> 01:18:58.329
not happy that the guy was killed or nothing.

01:18:58.390 --> 01:19:01.310
And did he deserve to be? No. But the thing is,

01:19:01.310 --> 01:19:04.069
is leave the things alone. Leave them alone.

01:19:04.210 --> 01:19:09.310
They're in nature for a reason. So, anyhow. Thank

01:19:09.310 --> 01:19:12.989
you, Rob. Appreciate that. Teaching assistant

01:19:12.989 --> 01:19:17.489
Alexander Lewis, 32, was charged with interfering

01:19:17.489 --> 01:19:20.750
with schools and malicious injury. to property

01:19:20.750 --> 01:19:25.149
in Florence, South Carolina. WKRC -TV reported

01:19:25.149 --> 01:19:29.010
on September 23rd. Between August 25th and September

01:19:29.010 --> 01:19:33.050
19th, Lewis allegedly used a spray that mimics

01:19:33.050 --> 01:19:36.649
the smell of poop inside the school. The spray

01:19:36.649 --> 01:19:39.989
caused students and staff health issues, nausea,

01:19:39.989 --> 01:19:42.350
and dizziness, and the district spent almost

01:19:42.350 --> 01:19:45.810
$55 ,000 trying to solve the issue through air

01:19:45.810 --> 01:19:49.479
conditioning inspection and repair costs. Louis

01:19:49.479 --> 01:19:52.359
Baum was set at $9 ,000 and it does not clarify

01:19:52.359 --> 01:19:55.979
why he sprayed this stuff. It smells like shit.

01:19:56.039 --> 01:19:58.220
It sounds kind of like liquid ass only maybe

01:19:58.220 --> 01:20:01.960
not as strong. It doesn't say why he did that.

01:20:02.000 --> 01:20:06.119
Why would he spray it there, you know? I don't

01:20:06.119 --> 01:20:10.699
know. I mean, was it like a joke that went wrong

01:20:10.699 --> 01:20:14.100
or something? I mean, I don't know. So anyhow,

01:20:14.300 --> 01:20:17.460
$55 ,000 they spent trying to figure out what

01:20:17.460 --> 01:20:20.359
was wrong. And all it was was this guy's poop

01:20:20.359 --> 01:20:27.659
spray. Geez. Well, his bomb was only set at $9

01:20:27.659 --> 01:20:30.640
,000, so what would he need, $90 to get out?

01:20:32.579 --> 01:20:37.960
Yeah. Okay, he's out. Unless he's really, really,

01:20:37.979 --> 01:20:43.560
really piss -ass broke, he's out. And I don't

01:20:43.560 --> 01:20:46.720
know what he's going to get, but, I mean, he

01:20:46.720 --> 01:20:49.579
could get, like, endangering students, which

01:20:49.579 --> 01:20:52.640
carries a pretty good sentence. Oh, no. We'll

01:20:52.640 --> 01:20:55.140
see. It depends on how the court wants to go

01:20:55.140 --> 01:20:58.060
about it. But if they go about the endangering

01:20:58.060 --> 01:21:01.779
students, he's going to help a lot of shit. Or

01:21:01.779 --> 01:21:03.399
they could go the route where you've got to pay

01:21:03.399 --> 01:21:06.539
that $55 ,000 back, and sorry about your luck,

01:21:06.619 --> 01:21:08.760
you've got to pay that $50 ,000 back unemployed.

01:21:10.420 --> 01:21:13.300
Right. Yep. All right, Rob, you got something?

01:21:14.500 --> 01:21:19.399
Yeah, I do. Okay, good. There's a new eyewitness

01:21:19.399 --> 01:21:22.260
testimony that is almost guaranteed to make the

01:21:22.260 --> 01:21:27.159
hair on your arm stand up. A Missouri man claims

01:21:27.159 --> 01:21:31.079
he and his girlfriend were chased by a mothman

01:21:31.079 --> 01:21:33.939
-like creature not far from Whiteman Air Force

01:21:33.939 --> 01:21:38.159
Base in Missouri. Ooh, knob -noster. Okay. Yes.

01:21:42.409 --> 01:21:45.029
when a winged creature with glowing red eyes

01:21:45.029 --> 01:21:48.350
was spotted near Wink Pleasant, West Virginia,

01:21:48.609 --> 01:21:52.010
numerous times just prior to a tragic bridge

01:21:52.010 --> 01:21:55.810
collapse that claimed dozens of lives. Now there's

01:21:55.810 --> 01:21:58.970
a sighting of a similar type of creature from

01:21:58.970 --> 01:22:02.449
a man named Derek in Missouri who recently was

01:22:02.449 --> 01:22:06.770
interviewed by Sasquatch Theory. He lives in

01:22:06.770 --> 01:22:09.329
the area near Whiteman Air Force Base in Missouri

01:22:09.329 --> 01:22:15.619
and told the following story. He said the encounter

01:22:15.619 --> 01:22:18.520
began when they heard what almost sounded like

01:22:18.520 --> 01:22:22.239
what you might imagine a pterodactyl dinosaur

01:22:22.239 --> 01:23:35.840
bird would sound like. Wow. Okay. On Sasquatch

01:23:35.840 --> 01:23:40.819
Theory. I think I will. I said I think I will.

01:24:04.840 --> 01:24:08.300
There's so many creatures out there, especially

01:24:08.300 --> 01:24:12.220
like bogey and all that in Missouri, especially

01:24:12.220 --> 01:24:17.220
out there in the sticks. Let's see, there's Bigfoot,

01:24:17.260 --> 01:24:20.800
right? And then there's the Bogey Creek monster.

01:24:21.939 --> 01:24:25.539
There's a Mothman. How do you describe the Mothman?

01:24:25.579 --> 01:24:36.680
How would you describe him? He's different than

01:24:36.680 --> 01:24:38.960
Bigfoot. I want to say kind of like man, but

01:24:38.960 --> 01:24:46.159
not man. He's tall and got wings. Yeah, he's

01:24:46.159 --> 01:24:48.479
considerably different than Bigfoot, so it's

01:24:48.479 --> 01:24:52.020
not a Bigfoot, and it's not a bogey. He can fly.

01:24:52.539 --> 01:24:55.420
Yeah, what was the bogey creek monster? I forgot.

01:24:55.500 --> 01:25:00.579
What does he look like? Oh, the one in Arkansas?

01:25:01.060 --> 01:25:03.100
Oh, it's Arkansas, not Missouri. That's right.

01:25:03.220 --> 01:25:07.220
Okay, forget it. Yeah. Yeah, that's right. Yeah,

01:25:07.239 --> 01:25:10.739
that was in Arkansas, but Missouri does have

01:25:10.739 --> 01:25:13.600
Momo. Yeah, Momo. That's who I'm thinking of,

01:25:13.659 --> 01:25:16.239
Momo. Momo is in Missouri, but yeah, there is

01:25:16.239 --> 01:25:21.079
Boggy Creek in Arkansas, too. There's a famous

01:25:21.079 --> 01:25:23.939
movie about that one. Yeah, The Legend of Boggy

01:25:23.939 --> 01:25:27.579
Creek. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and the Mothman and

01:25:27.579 --> 01:25:32.060
Momo and Sasquatch are all in the area, they

01:25:32.060 --> 01:26:04.109
say. People see them. Yeah. Right. Anyhow, California...

01:26:04.109 --> 01:26:06.329
Thank you, Rob. Appreciate it. You're welcome.

01:26:06.729 --> 01:26:09.510
California University campus. The Sun News reported

01:26:09.510 --> 01:26:11.810
that the video started... Oh, shit. That's the

01:26:11.810 --> 01:26:14.750
same fucking story. It printed that twice. I'm

01:26:14.750 --> 01:26:17.050
throwing that bitch away. Sorry. I got two of

01:26:17.050 --> 01:26:20.270
them with the same story. Or who knows what it

01:26:20.270 --> 01:26:22.289
does at, the damn thing. I got to get another

01:26:22.289 --> 01:26:24.210
printer. That thing freaks out on me all the

01:26:24.210 --> 01:26:29.310
time. So, let's see. How about this one? This

01:26:29.310 --> 01:26:32.779
is government at work. More than 50 animals,

01:26:32.939 --> 01:26:36.460
mostly cats and a few others, vied for the title

01:26:36.460 --> 01:26:39.460
of bike path mayor this summer in Somerville,

01:26:39.539 --> 01:26:43.100
Massachusetts. NBC Boston TV reported on September

01:26:43.100 --> 01:26:46.760
14. Minerva, the cat, whose one -word campaign

01:26:46.760 --> 01:26:50.000
slogan was crime, took the honors. Somerville

01:26:50.000 --> 01:26:53.000
residents were able to vote via a QR code in

01:26:53.000 --> 01:26:54.779
an election. That's something I would never do.

01:26:54.920 --> 01:26:58.399
So anyhow, in an election that had been going

01:26:58.399 --> 01:27:03.810
on since July. One Somervillian said Minerva's

01:27:03.810 --> 01:27:07.229
platform of crime, I think, really resonated

01:27:07.229 --> 01:27:11.250
with people. A cameraman touring with singer

01:27:11.250 --> 01:27:14.029
-songwriter Benson Boone was arrested in Clearwater.

01:27:14.090 --> 01:27:18.390
Oh, shit. You know what? I apologize for all

01:27:18.390 --> 01:27:22.069
of this because it jumbled all my fucking stories

01:27:22.069 --> 01:27:24.989
up. And, you know, Rob, you got something. This

01:27:24.989 --> 01:27:28.090
is going to take forever to figure out. Yeah.

01:27:30.159 --> 01:27:35.520
I was looking for a history. Sorry, everybody.

01:27:36.000 --> 01:27:40.960
I promise to go through this. Let's go into this

01:27:40.960 --> 01:27:43.140
one. Let's go into the wrestling world. Okay,

01:27:43.159 --> 01:27:49.079
thank you. Sting's son, Stephen Borden, which

01:27:49.079 --> 01:27:54.560
is Sting's real name, made his pro wrestling

01:27:54.560 --> 01:28:06.109
debut last night. Allen hosted an art exhibit

01:28:06.109 --> 01:28:11.649
in New York entitled 52W Hardway. The event also

01:28:11.649 --> 01:28:15.510
featured wrestling matches, the top one being

01:28:15.510 --> 01:28:19.750
Allen teaming up with former WWE superstar Killer

01:28:19.750 --> 01:28:25.210
Kross, who used to be Karrion Kross, to take

01:28:25.210 --> 01:28:29.470
on the team of J .D. Drake and Sting's son, Stephen

01:28:29.470 --> 01:29:42.970
Gordon. Oh, wow. Okay. Yeah, that's pretty cool.

01:29:44.529 --> 01:29:48.970
Yeah, that's interesting. Remember Sting reinvented

01:29:48.970 --> 01:29:54.010
himself so much? Yeah. He went to like the Crow

01:29:54.010 --> 01:29:56.430
look when before he kind of looked like a blonde

01:29:56.430 --> 01:29:58.850
-haired Gene Simmons, short blonde -haired Gene

01:29:58.850 --> 01:30:03.210
Simmons. Yeah. And then he grew his hair out,

01:30:03.310 --> 01:30:05.729
dyed it black, I guess. I don't know which is

01:30:05.729 --> 01:30:09.149
his real color, blonde or black. I told you.

01:30:09.229 --> 01:30:13.770
I don't think anyone really knows. He grew his

01:30:13.770 --> 01:30:15.750
hair out, and he started looking like the crow.

01:30:16.789 --> 01:30:21.930
Is that how you describe it? Yeah, that's when

01:30:21.930 --> 01:30:25.850
he started coming down from the seals. Yes, yeah,

01:30:26.029 --> 01:30:29.130
yeah. He reinvented himself so much, it was almost

01:30:29.130 --> 01:30:32.350
like a completely different wrestler. Anyhow,

01:30:32.350 --> 01:30:35.050
that's cool. I'm glad his son's involved. That's

01:30:35.050 --> 01:30:37.010
good. I want to see some of this. I want to see

01:30:37.010 --> 01:30:39.340
some of these sons coming up. You know, I mean,

01:30:39.340 --> 01:30:43.739
it's not going to be Nick Hogan. No, some of

01:30:43.739 --> 01:30:46.979
them are. You know, some of them are. Yeah, some

01:30:46.979 --> 01:30:49.720
of them are. Yeah, and I appreciate that. I like

01:30:49.720 --> 01:30:52.699
the legacy being handed down. It's kind of like

01:30:52.699 --> 01:30:55.300
football players. We got the Von Erich brothers

01:30:55.300 --> 01:30:59.760
coming up. Oh, that's right. You know what? I'm

01:30:59.760 --> 01:31:01.500
really interested in that because I was a big

01:31:01.500 --> 01:31:04.300
fan of the Von Erichs. I really liked them. They

01:31:04.300 --> 01:31:07.510
had so much energy. And they'd always come out

01:31:07.510 --> 01:31:10.210
there and jump around the ring and hoop and haw.

01:31:10.470 --> 01:31:13.250
They were really cool. And the Texans were nuts

01:31:13.250 --> 01:31:16.250
about them. Texans were just, like, flipped out

01:31:16.250 --> 01:31:18.010
about them. You know, they were like the royal

01:31:18.010 --> 01:31:20.770
family. So this is going to be great seeing the

01:31:20.770 --> 01:31:22.770
younger Von Eriks come up and seeing them progress,

01:31:23.109 --> 01:31:28.789
you know. So, anyhow, yeah. And hopefully they're

01:31:28.789 --> 01:31:32.310
not cursed. I mean, the rest of them, man. Right.

01:31:32.609 --> 01:31:37.409
Who was left out of the original family? I can't

01:31:37.409 --> 01:31:42.069
remember. Was it Kevin? I want to say what? No.

01:31:42.250 --> 01:31:44.369
Because I think David Von Erich was the one that

01:31:44.369 --> 01:31:48.210
died first. Whoever it is has been in with them

01:31:48.210 --> 01:31:56.090
since they entered their career. Yeah, yeah.

01:31:56.250 --> 01:32:01.529
I think it might be... I think it's Kevin. I

01:32:01.529 --> 01:32:03.989
think it's Kevin. I think David Von Erich is

01:32:03.989 --> 01:32:06.810
the one that died in Japan first. And I think

01:32:06.810 --> 01:32:10.409
that Kevin is the one sole survivor of the original

01:32:10.409 --> 01:32:13.529
family, I believe. But if I'm wrong, email me.

01:32:13.670 --> 01:32:15.850
Tell me. Call me a dumbass like everyone else

01:32:15.850 --> 01:32:20.630
does. Okay? So, anyhow. I'll have the answer

01:32:20.630 --> 01:32:24.609
Wednesday night. Okay, there we go. Rob, do you

01:32:24.609 --> 01:32:27.810
want to keep this going? It's 9 -15. Actually,

01:32:27.829 --> 01:32:29.989
I'm more out there. All right, that's what I

01:32:29.989 --> 01:32:34.489
thought. All right. Thank you for joining me,

01:32:34.569 --> 01:32:37.890
brother. Like always, I enjoy this stuff crazy.

01:32:39.270 --> 01:32:42.069
And I really enjoy the stories you're bringing

01:32:42.069 --> 01:32:47.149
to this. So you're really doing well. I think

01:32:47.149 --> 01:32:49.750
a lot of people are enjoying you like I am. So

01:32:49.750 --> 01:32:53.770
thank you, Rob. Thank you. Thank you. Yep. Anyhow,

01:32:53.810 --> 01:32:56.430
let's see. Hello, Albuquerque. Hello, Hicksville.

01:32:57.270 --> 01:33:01.869
Hello, Grandma Opal, Jimmy, Ricky. Did I get

01:33:01.869 --> 01:33:08.439
everybody? There you go. Good night, assholes.

01:33:08.560 --> 01:33:15.260
Thank you. Good night, assholes. Oh, no. Looks

01:33:15.260 --> 01:33:18.079
like the show's over, kids. Mark has explosive

01:33:18.079 --> 01:33:21.779
diarrhea and can't afford a wireless mic. Fear

01:33:21.779 --> 01:33:24.180
not, assholes. They'll be back invading your

01:33:24.180 --> 01:33:24.979
ear holes soon.