WEBVTT

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Welcome again. We're happy you chose us. Come

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on in. Wash yourself off. Would you enjoy a bourbon

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and coke? There's a liquor store down the road.

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If you go, I need rolling papers. Well, since

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you're here, let's get this daily douchebag pledge

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out of the way. All right, bitches, swing your

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hips and pelvic thrust. Shout it out with me.

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I, Joe or Jane Listener, promise to download

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every podcast. I, Joe or Jane Listener, promise

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to make... All friends, family members, and workmates

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download the show. I, Joe or Jane Listener, promise

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to grab idle computers, work computers, friends

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computers, community computers, and other assorted

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phones and listening devices and download the

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show from there. I, Joe or Jane Listener, will

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download the show and constantly barrage everyone

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with show name and platforms. I, Joe or Jane

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Listener, promise to wear a chicken costume and

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screen the show's name from my front yard. And

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finally, because of our 13 -year -old boy humor,

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you must go to Knobloch Cooter Licking in Uranus,

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Missouri to take selfies with the signs. If you

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go to Uranus, go to the fudge factory. Yes, there's

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a fudge factory in Uranus. No joke. Here at Two

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Douchebags and a Microphone, we don't stand behind

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our journalistic integrity. Go ahead and assume

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we got the story wrong. At least we admit it.

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Not like all those other guys. We can and will

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lie if it makes the story better. Yes, it's true.

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Mark is an old bastard. It's also true that Mark

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uses a lot of ibuprofen. But Mark would like

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to tell you... If you see any pictures of Ibuprofen,

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it's obviously fake and you're to take the pictures

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and tear them up immediately. Strange, but true.

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In the 1920s, there was a health drink called

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Radithor that literally contained radium and

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consequentially slowly killed its customers.

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Evan Byers, a wealthy American socialite, died

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from Radithor radium poisoning in 1932. When

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his body was exhumed in 1965 for study, his remains

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were still highly radioactive. The only reason

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Rattathor didn't cause a public health crisis

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at the time was because it could only be afforded

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by the rich. Next up, things overheard in hell.

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Hurry up. King Jong -un is playing Santa at the

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mall again this year. Yay! Hi all, this is Chicago.

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I am the... most dangerous city in North America.

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You can't touch me. Oh yeah? This is Kansas City

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here. Hold my beer, bitch. Hey, you pilgrims.

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This is Mark from Two Douchebags and Microphone.

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And this is the Two Douchebags and Microphone

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part of the day. Hey, dickhead. No one gives

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an ounce of shit what you had for breakfast.

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Not even the person on the other end. You look

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like a mentally slow driv yelling into thin air

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all through the store. I pray that Bluetooth

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shorts out and blows up your eardrums. What men

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consider self -centered dunce. Monty constantly

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coddled this dummy and it fucking shows. Go the

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fuck home and bore your dog. Wait, you probably

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forgot the theming because you're too busy looking

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in the mirror all day. Fuck off. Two douchebags,

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a microphone, and an effort to keep everything

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fresh. We offer you First World Problems. Damn

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it. The city services website is down again.

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I can't believe this. I'm going to have to actually

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call and talk to someone to pay my damn trash

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bill. This is ridiculous. Two douchebags and

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microphone. I'm Mark here in the Kansas City

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area at the Talk is Cheap studio. There we go.

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I've really got a fondness for the for now. So

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whenever I don't hear it... I keep adding more

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and more. I know. Pretty soon this whole podcast

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is just going to be an introduction. Let's see,

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it started, I insisted that you call it the beautiful

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Niangua arm of Lake of the Ozarks, and then it

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went from there. Yeah, now I'm moving, so yeah.

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Oh, shit. Oh, got to come up with another tagline.

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I will. Okay, cool. We will. We will. Yeah, yep,

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yep, we will, definitely. We always do. We'll

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always figure out something. All right, well.

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I was driving around halfway to Lawrence, Kansas

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yesterday to get a home sleep test. It's a little

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bit of a drive, so, you know, I had to pick up.

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Yeah, and you know that that's still Olathe,

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halfway out to Lawrence. Olathe is just, they

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bought all this land. They just grew up that

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much. Yes. Yeah, they're halfway to Lawrence.

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I had to go on 10 Highway and go for a while.

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And I've been to Lawrence plenty of times, so

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I know how far Lawrence is. So I was probably

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about, when it's all said and done, 10 minutes

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away from Lawrence, and I was at an Olathe address.

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Damn. Yeah, it's really grown. I'll pass you

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Dora. Yeah, pretty much. Yeah, because I used

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to do a lot of work around there. Yeah, you know

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what you're talking about on 10 Highway there.

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Fire damage. So, anyhow, I had to go all the

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way over there. I had my GPS on it to find it.

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I'm really unfamiliar with that part of the Metroplex.

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I know 10 Highway. I know Lawrence, Eudora, and

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all that. But I don't know all that Olathe and

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all that. College Boulevard goes all the way

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out there. I didn't know that. So, I get to the

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place, and it's right off College Boulevard.

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So, it's a good 40 minutes. And the only way

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my phone will play my GPS directions over my

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speakers is to have it on Bluetooth so I have

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to go to the internet for music, right? Because

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other than that, I don't hear it. It'll only

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broadcast on my phone, but it won't go over the

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car speakers. For whatever reason, it won't do

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that. Unless I'm on internet radio. I'm on Bluetooth

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on internet radio. Then it will go over that

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and I can hear the directions. I have it on Spotify.

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So the first time I was crossing the Kansas State

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line on 435, right? You know where I'm at, right?

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Yeah. Okay. Well, the chick on my GPS says, Welcome

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to Kansas. So Civil War by Guns N' Roses is playing.

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It's a long song, right? It's about 8 or 10,

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right? Okay. So the GPS voice made my Spotify

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stop. So I had to hit the button and turn it

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on again. Problem was, every time it clicked

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off when it started back up, it would start the

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song Civil War Over. Okay? So, yeah, so the second

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time I had to... I think I know where you're

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going here. Yeah, I think you do too. So, the

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second time I had to stay to the right to avoid

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69 highway exits. So, when actually to the left,

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I wrote right on here, I had to stay left to

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avoid the 69 highway exits. And the GPS told

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me, to stay to the left and stay away from the

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exits. And Spotify clicked off again. We hit

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the start button. Bam! Civil War started again

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from the start. And I was almost over with the

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song when this happened. I'm like, fuck! I've

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got to listen to this again. You listened to

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that song the whole way, didn't you? Yes. So

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I'm going over... I'm going over I -35, so it

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tells me to hang a right to avoid the entrance

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on the exit ramps. So I clicked off again. I

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hit the start button, and there we go. Groundhog

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Day once again. So this is like the fourth fucking

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time I'm listening to Civil War. And you know

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the beginning. It goes, what we have here is

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a failure. All of that. All of that, and then

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the Johnny Appleseed fucking whistling. Okay.

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And then the, look at the young men dying, you

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know, this is what we're all here for. And all

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that, you know, how Axl's singing that up and

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all that over and over and over. So I had to

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exit on 10. That would be one of my days. That

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would be one of my days. Oh, it was nuts. I was

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just sitting there grimacing going, what the

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fuck? So, and coincidentally, tonight on the

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way home, what did my Spotify play? Civil War.

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I turned it to radio. So, you know, I had to

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exit on 10 Highway, and bam, once again, Civil

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War from the start. This went on for probably

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six more times, and every time it didn't allow

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the song to finish before she interrupted it.

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The song is like seven or eight minutes long,

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so a lot of times I'm six minutes deep. And then

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she goes, stay to the left. Fuck! So it wasn't

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just there, it was there and back. Yeah, yeah.

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Oh, wow. Yeah, so... If it was Highway to Hell

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or a Motley Crue song, no problem. It's three

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minutes, and then you're on to the next song.

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But the fact that it was one of Guns N' Roses'

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long, drawn -out songs, I was fucked. I bet you're

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asleep. Oh, gosh. I could not get it out of my

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fucking head. I'm like, ugh! I mean, it's a good

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song, but not 10, 15 times in a row. Oh, man.

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So I had to keep the Bluetooth going. So I was

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on the freeway, so I couldn't find something

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else on my phone. It was a packed roadway. You

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know how 435 gets. I don't know why Spotify does

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that. I don't know if there's some sort of a

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setting or something that it won't save the song

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and go back to the first. You'll just be like,

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okay, you were on the fourth verse, so you're

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going to start right here. Mine did not do that.

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I don't know. Sometimes mine will start in the

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middle, but I think it's when I shut the car

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off, like I get home or get to work or get to

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a store or whatever, and then when I turn it

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back on, then it'll start in the middle. But

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if the song stops prematurely, like, you know,

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like, oh, someone calls, or if I get directions

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on a GPS, then that's when it'll start over.

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If I actually stop the car, shut it off, leave,

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come back, and then let's say I'm halfway through,

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I don't know, Helter Skelter. It comes back halfway

00:11:57.899 --> 00:12:01.580
through Helter Skelter. But not when the GPS

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or someone calls you. And I was going there to

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get a home sleep test, which I did last night.

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It's not nearly as invasive, but it still sucks.

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I had stuff around my chest and in my nose and

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all that, you know. And that's where they're

00:12:17.169 --> 00:12:20.129
at a laboratory somewhere. You know, they get

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all the stuff that they need to know about your

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sleep patterns through the equipment you're wearing,

00:12:27.169 --> 00:12:32.149
right? Right. So, anyhow, I did that test. It's

00:12:32.149 --> 00:12:34.679
so much easier than the overnight. sleep center

00:12:34.679 --> 00:12:37.740
and hospitals that you used to have to go to.

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You used to have to go, and some people still

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do. I think, like, if you're elderly and, like,

00:12:42.639 --> 00:12:45.080
pretty obese, you have to go in there and actually

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sleep because they've got to examine you while

00:12:47.059 --> 00:12:50.639
you're sleeping and look at you, right? Yeah.

00:12:50.759 --> 00:12:53.259
So I didn't qualify for that, you know. I'm not,

00:12:53.299 --> 00:12:58.279
like, severely overweight or, you know, or anything

00:12:58.279 --> 00:13:04.389
like that, you know, and elderly. So I didn't

00:13:04.389 --> 00:13:07.549
have to do that. So I didn't have to go stay

00:13:07.549 --> 00:13:10.370
the night anywhere. I just got the test to take

00:13:10.370 --> 00:13:13.149
home, which it still sucks, but not nearly as

00:13:13.149 --> 00:13:17.070
bad. So I remember the years ago, my first sleep

00:13:17.070 --> 00:13:19.649
study, I had to go to Research Hospital on Prospect.

00:13:19.809 --> 00:13:23.210
You know where that's at, right? Yeah. Okay.

00:13:23.470 --> 00:13:25.929
I go to my room and they hook up all the electrodes

00:13:25.929 --> 00:13:29.590
and equipment and lights and all that. And then

00:13:29.590 --> 00:13:34.600
everything goes off at 9 p .m. That was way too

00:13:34.600 --> 00:13:36.740
early for me at that time in my life, right?

00:13:36.860 --> 00:13:39.480
Yeah, no shit. Yeah, I mean, nowadays I could

00:13:39.480 --> 00:13:41.600
probably stomach nine. I'd probably be like,

00:13:41.639 --> 00:13:43.940
yeah, well, I'm kind of tired. Anyhow, I'll be

00:13:43.940 --> 00:13:46.019
okay. I'll deal with it. But back then, I'm like,

00:13:46.139 --> 00:13:48.460
what the? Why do I got to go to bed at nine?

00:13:48.539 --> 00:13:53.519
This is bullshit, you know? So everything's out

00:13:53.519 --> 00:13:56.159
at nine. I'm laying there, and it sucked. I couldn't

00:13:56.159 --> 00:13:58.840
hardly move because I had these lines, and every

00:13:58.840 --> 00:14:01.440
time I moved, they get tangled, and they wouldn't

00:14:01.440 --> 00:14:03.799
allow clocks in your room. They would not let

00:14:03.799 --> 00:14:06.039
you know what time it is. So I'm lying there

00:14:06.039 --> 00:14:08.700
hating this shit really bad, you know, and I'm

00:14:08.700 --> 00:14:10.679
pissed because I can't get what time it was.

00:14:10.740 --> 00:14:13.159
I asked them several times and we couldn't wear

00:14:13.159 --> 00:14:16.539
watches and they're like, no, we can't tell you.

00:14:16.740 --> 00:14:19.059
So I remember earlier in the evening there was

00:14:19.059 --> 00:14:21.779
this bank clock and I think you can remember

00:14:21.779 --> 00:14:25.080
the one right off the prospect. There was a bank

00:14:25.080 --> 00:14:27.379
clock to the right and the hospital to the left.

00:14:28.639 --> 00:14:31.679
Yeah. Yeah. Okay, yeah. Well, that bank clock,

00:14:31.740 --> 00:14:34.120
it's a big clock, right? And it's big red letters,

00:14:34.240 --> 00:14:40.919
digital. So I go over there, and I'm just very

00:14:40.919 --> 00:14:44.299
aloof. I didn't want to piss them off, you know,

00:14:44.320 --> 00:14:46.559
and just go look at the time. I skirt by the

00:14:46.559 --> 00:14:49.539
window, I look out to see the time, and I couldn't

00:14:49.539 --> 00:14:53.710
see the clock. So I'm like... You know, I thought

00:14:53.710 --> 00:14:55.649
it was fogged up. I'm like, okay, all right.

00:14:55.690 --> 00:14:58.269
Well, I get it. You know, it's kind of cool tonight

00:14:58.269 --> 00:15:01.429
because I think it's about this time that year,

00:15:01.509 --> 00:15:03.529
maybe a little bit later. So it's starting to

00:15:03.529 --> 00:15:05.049
get cool at night. So I'm like, all right, it's

00:15:05.049 --> 00:15:07.370
frosted up shit. You know, I can't see it. So

00:15:07.370 --> 00:15:13.090
anyhow, so I fast forward. I wake up and a nurse

00:15:13.090 --> 00:15:15.429
comes in and says it's time to get up. I asked

00:15:15.429 --> 00:15:18.450
her what time it was. She said 9 a .m. I looked

00:15:18.450 --> 00:15:21.940
at her funny and I said, It's still dark outside.

00:15:22.179 --> 00:15:24.820
She walked over to the window. The window was

00:15:24.820 --> 00:15:27.679
double paned. It had an electric black drapes

00:15:27.679 --> 00:15:31.639
in between the glass. She pushes a button. Yes,

00:15:31.879 --> 00:15:34.620
they knew you were going to do that. They knew

00:15:34.620 --> 00:15:37.639
you were going to do that. I'm pretty sure that

00:15:37.639 --> 00:15:40.980
they watch you. So I saw her do that. I go, what

00:15:40.980 --> 00:15:45.179
the hell? And I go, you know, I went by there

00:15:45.179 --> 00:15:47.100
trying to look at the bank clock. She goes, we

00:15:47.100 --> 00:15:53.360
know. And I'm like, really? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:15:53.539 --> 00:15:57.100
She said, whenever you move, it trips an infrared

00:15:57.100 --> 00:16:00.700
sensor, and it sends an alarm to our screen,

00:16:00.919 --> 00:16:06.440
and then it shows you walking by, and then she

00:16:06.440 --> 00:16:08.740
goes, don't worry, everybody tries that. Everybody

00:16:08.740 --> 00:16:10.399
wants to know what time it is, and everybody

00:16:10.399 --> 00:16:13.059
starts by there like that, nonchalant like you

00:16:13.059 --> 00:16:16.600
did, and nobody gets the result they want. I'm

00:16:16.600 --> 00:16:22.750
like, fuck. I just thought that was funny. Anyhow,

00:16:22.809 --> 00:16:26.409
so my Jeep has passed its warranty phase, right?

00:16:26.970 --> 00:16:29.610
The good thing is I no longer have to take it

00:16:29.610 --> 00:16:31.970
to a dealer to have it serviced. They really

00:16:31.970 --> 00:16:34.370
jab you on the warranties. You have to read the

00:16:34.370 --> 00:16:37.470
fine print. It actually says that if I get my

00:16:37.470 --> 00:16:40.009
Jeep serviced anywhere else except an authorized

00:16:40.009 --> 00:16:43.230
Jeep dealer, it could void the whole warranty.

00:16:43.350 --> 00:16:47.399
Did you know that? Yes. Yes, I did. Well, it

00:16:47.399 --> 00:16:49.360
pissed me off because the last car I bought brand

00:16:49.360 --> 00:16:52.639
new, it didn't have that. I could get it serviced

00:16:52.639 --> 00:16:54.440
anywhere with a warranty, but this was different.

00:16:54.940 --> 00:16:58.340
So now I go to Walmart to have the oil changed.

00:16:58.480 --> 00:17:00.679
This way I can get my iced coffee for all week

00:17:00.679 --> 00:17:03.960
and dog and cat food and what have you. I wish

00:17:03.960 --> 00:17:06.579
Costco carried my brands of these products so

00:17:06.579 --> 00:17:08.319
I wouldn't have to screw with Walmart at all.

00:17:08.400 --> 00:17:11.460
But unfortunately, they don't carry the brands

00:17:11.460 --> 00:17:14.740
that I use, so I have to go to Walmart. So I

00:17:14.740 --> 00:17:16.700
go to Walmart just up the road from us. I go

00:17:16.700 --> 00:17:18.579
into the auto section. There's a lady at the

00:17:18.579 --> 00:17:22.000
desk. She's already really surly, right? Just

00:17:22.000 --> 00:17:23.900
a look on her face, and then when I walked up,

00:17:23.960 --> 00:17:27.339
you ever get that, uh -huh, like, fuck, here

00:17:27.339 --> 00:17:30.119
comes a person look? All the time. Yep, yep.

00:17:30.200 --> 00:17:33.259
Pisses me off. I'm like, I want to say, if you

00:17:33.259 --> 00:17:36.259
don't want to be here, fucking leave. Okay? Yeah,

00:17:36.259 --> 00:17:39.400
quit your job. Yeah, yeah, quit. Go do something

00:17:39.400 --> 00:17:42.369
you want to do. It's a big wide world out there.

00:17:42.410 --> 00:17:44.089
You don't have to fucking work here if it's that

00:17:44.089 --> 00:17:46.990
big of a chore. So I tell her I need an oil change.

00:17:47.269 --> 00:17:48.970
And she replies, do you have an appointment?

00:17:49.230 --> 00:17:52.349
I said, no, I've never needed one before. So

00:17:52.349 --> 00:17:54.170
I look at her and she's just looking at me and

00:17:54.170 --> 00:17:57.349
I go, well, how do I make this set appointment?

00:17:57.650 --> 00:18:01.410
And she goes, call the number and offer nothing

00:18:01.410 --> 00:18:06.849
else. And I'm like, what the fuck? So then I

00:18:06.849 --> 00:18:09.670
go, all right. I said, well, since I don't know

00:18:09.670 --> 00:18:13.309
the number, could I just do it right here? She

00:18:13.309 --> 00:18:18.410
reluctantly goes, yeah. So she takes a good,

00:18:18.490 --> 00:18:20.849
like, I don't know, minute to go get her pad,

00:18:20.990 --> 00:18:25.549
her iPad. Okay. She walks over and she's looking.

00:18:25.589 --> 00:18:27.430
She goes, I don't know. We have a lot of appointments

00:18:27.430 --> 00:18:29.990
this morning. I very cheerfully, I said, oh,

00:18:30.089 --> 00:18:33.450
okay, good. I'll go somewhere else. You just

00:18:33.450 --> 00:18:36.900
look to me. I decide that, you know, since I'm

00:18:36.900 --> 00:18:38.759
already there, I can shop and get it over with.

00:18:38.839 --> 00:18:40.859
I have quite a few items in my cart, and the

00:18:40.859 --> 00:18:43.440
guy that was behind me at the auto desk walks

00:18:43.440 --> 00:18:45.700
past me, and he turns around and he said, hey,

00:18:45.819 --> 00:18:48.200
you can go a few miles into Kansas and get your

00:18:48.200 --> 00:18:51.259
oil changed at the Overland Park Walmart on 159th

00:18:51.259 --> 00:18:54.180
Street. No appointments, larger bay areas to

00:18:54.180 --> 00:18:56.000
work with, more cars, and I told him thanks.

00:18:58.640 --> 00:19:01.380
So I call out Walmart to make sure. And the guy

00:19:01.380 --> 00:19:02.960
on the phone said, yeah, come on in. We have

00:19:02.960 --> 00:19:05.740
plenty of room. No appointment necessary. So

00:19:05.740 --> 00:19:08.839
I take my cart right over to the middle of the

00:19:08.839 --> 00:19:11.539
aisle where the surly lady was. And I go, hey,

00:19:11.640 --> 00:19:13.640
when you get done doing whatever you're doing,

00:19:13.799 --> 00:19:16.579
you might put these groceries away. And I fucking

00:19:16.579 --> 00:19:20.640
walked out. But I waited until she pushed the

00:19:20.640 --> 00:19:22.420
button. Because you know how they can lock you

00:19:22.420 --> 00:19:25.140
in and not push that button? And you're locked

00:19:25.140 --> 00:19:27.230
in? As soon as she pushed that button, I opened

00:19:27.230 --> 00:19:28.630
up, and I pointed at the car, and I go, hey,

00:19:28.690 --> 00:19:30.130
whenever you get done doing whatever the hell

00:19:30.130 --> 00:19:32.349
it is you're doing, put those groceries away.

00:19:33.329 --> 00:19:36.430
Oh, my God. She gave me the dirtiest look. And

00:19:36.430 --> 00:19:40.210
I go, have a nice day. She didn't say anything.

00:19:41.349 --> 00:19:43.869
So the Walmart that I went to, I have to say,

00:19:43.890 --> 00:19:46.789
was amazing. I go into the auto center, and there's

00:19:46.789 --> 00:19:49.109
people waiting on me immediately. No attitudes,

00:19:49.390 --> 00:19:52.240
nothing. I give them my keys and I got my groceries.

00:19:52.380 --> 00:19:55.640
Everybody friendly, easy to catch and ask questions.

00:19:55.779 --> 00:19:57.660
They don't try to avoid you like the Walmart

00:19:57.660 --> 00:19:59.920
that I'm used to up the road. Everyone won't

00:19:59.920 --> 00:20:01.779
even look at you because they don't want to answer

00:20:01.779 --> 00:20:03.799
questions. They don't want to deal with you.

00:20:03.940 --> 00:20:06.180
So you literally have to jump in front of them

00:20:06.180 --> 00:20:09.180
there and go, hey, hey. And I don't do that.

00:20:09.220 --> 00:20:10.839
I'm like, you know what? Fuck this. I'm just

00:20:10.839 --> 00:20:13.579
not going to do it. It's just like cutting down

00:20:13.579 --> 00:20:15.859
prices. I just don't do it unless I really need

00:20:15.859 --> 00:20:18.420
it. I don't go hunt down a price, you know, so.

00:20:19.099 --> 00:20:21.579
Right, yeah, we talked about that last episode.

00:20:21.940 --> 00:20:25.000
Yeah, yep. So new clean building, everything's

00:20:25.000 --> 00:20:29.180
organized. So, you know, the only thing was this.

00:20:29.240 --> 00:20:32.019
Walmart isn't part of the network that I know

00:20:32.019 --> 00:20:34.779
of. And this network reports the servicing to

00:20:34.779 --> 00:20:37.000
Carfax that you get, right? You know what I'm

00:20:37.000 --> 00:20:40.660
talking about, right? Yeah. And he goes, wow.

00:20:40.759 --> 00:20:42.279
He goes, thank you. He goes, you've been the

00:20:42.279 --> 00:20:45.859
nicest person in a long time. And I said, you

00:20:45.859 --> 00:20:48.769
believe in God? He goes, yes, very much so. I

00:20:48.769 --> 00:20:50.990
said, how about if I say a prayer with you? And

00:20:50.990 --> 00:20:53.690
he said, how about if you say it with me? And

00:20:53.690 --> 00:20:55.750
I said, I think that sounds like a wonderful

00:20:55.750 --> 00:21:00.049
idea. So we prayed right there. Right on, dude.

00:21:00.109 --> 00:21:02.829
Yeah, he is a great guy. And I wish him the best.

00:21:03.190 --> 00:21:05.170
And I'm going to tell you another thing, too,

00:21:05.250 --> 00:21:07.710
because he doesn't know about this podcast. But

00:21:07.710 --> 00:21:10.470
Christmas time, I hope he's still here. I'm going

00:21:10.470 --> 00:21:12.509
to bring him something. I don't know what yet,

00:21:12.650 --> 00:21:15.589
but it'll come to me. It always does. And then

00:21:15.589 --> 00:21:18.440
it'll pop up. Whether it's like I'm looking at

00:21:18.440 --> 00:21:20.900
Amazon. I'll tell you what. Yeah. I'll tell you

00:21:20.900 --> 00:21:24.019
what. If you need a little help financially when

00:21:24.019 --> 00:21:27.220
it comes that time, let me know. I'll help. Well,

00:21:27.259 --> 00:21:30.640
I don't need help financially. No, I'm just saying,

00:21:30.640 --> 00:21:34.339
you sound like a good guy. I will pitch in. Okay,

00:21:34.359 --> 00:21:36.240
then let's both do it, okay? I'm going to go

00:21:36.240 --> 00:21:38.039
ahead and put my amount in, then you put whatever

00:21:38.039 --> 00:21:40.039
amount you're comfortable in, and let's both

00:21:40.039 --> 00:21:43.859
take it to him. Yeah. Yeah. I think that'd be

00:21:43.859 --> 00:21:45.500
excellent. You're a really cool guy. Well, you're

00:21:45.500 --> 00:21:48.339
closer. It'll happen to you. Okay, okay. Yeah,

00:21:48.420 --> 00:21:51.519
you know what? You're right. And he had his fingers

00:21:51.519 --> 00:21:54.380
cut off, like I said. He was still working. And

00:21:54.380 --> 00:21:57.980
he wanted to work. And I was like, well... Dude,

00:21:57.980 --> 00:22:03.039
I've seen so many guys like that in industries

00:22:03.039 --> 00:22:07.079
that they lose their fingers, but they still

00:22:07.079 --> 00:22:11.750
keep working. Yes. You know? Yes. No, he's had

00:22:11.750 --> 00:22:13.950
no problem working. As a matter of fact, he liked

00:22:13.950 --> 00:22:16.630
it. Yeah. But his humbleness was really, really

00:22:16.630 --> 00:22:19.170
just like, I mean, it almost made you want to

00:22:19.170 --> 00:22:23.490
cry, his humbleness. Because there he is. He's

00:22:23.490 --> 00:22:25.230
getting chemotherapy. He's probably in pretty

00:22:25.230 --> 00:22:28.670
bad shape from what it looks like. And he's apologizing

00:22:28.670 --> 00:22:31.890
to me about his side effects. Right. And I'm

00:22:31.890 --> 00:22:33.670
like going, no, no, no, no, no. You don't do

00:22:33.670 --> 00:22:36.309
that in my world. You do not do that in my world.

00:22:36.410 --> 00:22:40.210
I don't deserve that. No. I don't deserve that.

00:22:40.289 --> 00:22:43.150
Neither does anyone else. You know, what we deserve

00:22:43.150 --> 00:22:46.529
is this right here. You to do well and have a

00:22:46.529 --> 00:22:49.089
good life. You don't need to worry about me because

00:22:49.089 --> 00:22:53.150
I'm fine. You know, what a guy. I'll tell you

00:22:53.150 --> 00:22:56.349
what. Exactly. Exactly. And then I had another

00:22:56.349 --> 00:22:58.670
interesting thing happen, too. And this is a

00:22:58.670 --> 00:23:00.230
few days ago. And I wasn't going to talk about

00:23:00.230 --> 00:23:03.289
this, but I'm going to now. Because I was...

00:23:04.240 --> 00:23:07.319
I was at St. Joseph Medical Center. That's where

00:23:07.319 --> 00:23:12.299
my doctor's office is located, right? So I just

00:23:12.299 --> 00:23:15.660
got through my doctor's and I get into the elevator

00:23:15.660 --> 00:23:19.960
and there's this elderly black lady and really

00:23:19.960 --> 00:23:24.599
sweet as pie. And she goes, man, she goes, I

00:23:24.599 --> 00:23:26.819
go, hey, how you doing? She goes, good, good.

00:23:27.440 --> 00:23:30.000
And she goes, how are you doing? I go, good.

00:23:30.119 --> 00:23:34.529
And she goes, you know, she goes. this is unusual.

00:23:34.789 --> 00:23:36.650
And I go, what? She goes, there's so much hatred

00:23:36.650 --> 00:23:39.710
in the world. I don't feel it in here. And I

00:23:39.710 --> 00:23:42.950
said, you know what? I said, we cannot help what

00:23:42.950 --> 00:23:45.190
the rest of the world does. I said, you know

00:23:45.190 --> 00:23:48.849
what? I said, I love you as a person and I have

00:23:48.849 --> 00:23:51.009
no problems with you. And she looks at me and

00:23:51.009 --> 00:23:53.829
she goes, I love you as a person. I have no problems

00:23:53.829 --> 00:23:55.990
with you either. And she goes, could I get a

00:23:55.990 --> 00:23:59.190
hug? And I said, of course. She gave me the tightest

00:23:59.190 --> 00:24:02.220
hug. And she was so sweet. And she was crying.

00:24:02.279 --> 00:24:04.559
She goes, thank you so much. You made my day.

00:24:04.720 --> 00:24:07.240
And I said, you made my day, too. I said, you

00:24:07.240 --> 00:24:14.539
know, that was the honesty, the emotion, you

00:24:14.539 --> 00:24:17.619
know, that she just showed me was great. And

00:24:17.619 --> 00:24:19.900
then when I showed her compassion and love, she

00:24:19.900 --> 00:24:22.180
showed it back to me. And it was the most beautiful

00:24:22.180 --> 00:24:25.359
thing that you could ever see. And I was really,

00:24:25.480 --> 00:24:27.829
really. I left there just feeling great. I'm

00:24:27.829 --> 00:24:30.769
like, you know, this is what life is about right

00:24:30.769 --> 00:24:33.450
here. Not shooting someone because you don't

00:24:33.450 --> 00:24:35.930
agree with them. Not hating someone or thinking

00:24:35.930 --> 00:24:37.750
they're crazy because you don't agree with them.

00:24:37.769 --> 00:24:41.589
But embrace them. You know what? You may not

00:24:41.589 --> 00:24:44.329
believe the same thing as I do. But we can still

00:24:44.329 --> 00:24:46.589
love each other. And I don't have to think you're

00:24:46.589 --> 00:24:48.269
a bad person. You don't have to think I'm a bad

00:24:48.269 --> 00:24:49.930
person. Because everybody grew up different.

00:24:50.559 --> 00:24:52.660
Everybody grew up different. Everybody has a

00:24:52.660 --> 00:24:55.299
completely different look on life. There's not

00:24:55.299 --> 00:24:57.779
two people in the whole world that have the same

00:24:57.779 --> 00:25:01.319
view on life because none of us grew up the same,

00:25:01.400 --> 00:25:04.019
had the same things happen. You know what I mean?

00:25:04.079 --> 00:25:06.200
Everybody is different, and that's one of the

00:25:06.200 --> 00:25:08.740
beauties of the world, in our country especially.

00:25:09.420 --> 00:25:11.839
Everybody's different, and that's a great thing.

00:25:12.480 --> 00:25:15.200
So anyhow, you know what? We're not necessarily

00:25:15.200 --> 00:25:17.960
telling dick jokes right now, so I'm done. Rob,

00:25:18.079 --> 00:25:21.450
we turn it to you. Tell a dick joke. Well, this

00:25:21.450 --> 00:25:23.869
ain't a dick joke. Okay. All right. It's fine.

00:25:23.990 --> 00:25:26.049
We don't have to go dick. Hey, this is Mark.

00:25:26.190 --> 00:25:28.549
If some of that recording sounded like it was

00:25:28.549 --> 00:25:31.630
skipping over or maybe clipped out or whatever,

00:25:31.809 --> 00:25:35.230
that's what happened. I had to take out some

00:25:35.230 --> 00:25:39.910
full names because of HIPAA laws. So, anyhow,

00:25:40.049 --> 00:25:41.910
the important thing to know is this gentleman

00:25:41.910 --> 00:25:48.180
that had cancer, he's... he's got great spirits,

00:25:48.180 --> 00:25:50.799
and that is everything. And I just, everybody,

00:25:50.960 --> 00:25:55.299
pray for him. If you pray, do it. And just, you

00:25:55.299 --> 00:25:57.619
know, God knows who you're talking about, so

00:25:57.619 --> 00:26:00.279
just pray for that guy at Walmart. Pretty sure

00:26:00.279 --> 00:26:03.160
God will figure it out. So, thank you guys. Thanks

00:26:03.160 --> 00:26:07.119
for listening. It's on the lighter side, we'll

00:26:07.119 --> 00:26:19.130
put it that way. Okay, that's cool. its name

00:26:19.130 --> 00:26:25.190
at least temporarily. Okay. Maxwell House, the

00:26:25.190 --> 00:26:28.869
coffee brand that sits in many Americans' pantries,

00:26:28.869 --> 00:26:33.890
is rebranding for the first time in 133 years

00:26:33.890 --> 00:26:42.390
to Maxwell Apartment. Maxwell Apartment? What

00:26:42.390 --> 00:27:40.190
kind of a name is that? Okay. The classic coffee

00:27:40.190 --> 00:27:43.890
brand introduced the limited edition Maxwell

00:27:43.890 --> 00:27:47.970
apartment canister on National Coffee Day, September

00:27:47.970 --> 00:27:52.230
29th, and a few more are still up for grabs on

00:27:52.230 --> 00:27:56.970
Amazon. The Maxwell apartment bundle is on sale

00:27:56.970 --> 00:28:12.009
for $39 .99. Okay, cool. Yeah. Oh, sorry. Did

00:28:12.009 --> 00:28:15.650
I say that? Hey, I'm not a huge Starbucks fan,

00:28:15.789 --> 00:28:19.210
so you're not hurting my feelings, honey. Okay.

00:28:19.250 --> 00:28:25.390
The bundle includes four 27 .5 -ounce canisters

00:28:25.390 --> 00:28:30.349
of Maxwell Apartment, which is the same Maxwell

00:28:30.349 --> 00:28:33.690
House original roast ground coffee you love.

00:28:34.190 --> 00:29:06.220
That's just for renters. canisters online and

00:29:06.220 --> 00:29:11.079
at grocery stores. Maxwell Apartment is a part

00:29:11.079 --> 00:29:19.220
of a limited time marketing campaign. Okay. I

00:29:19.220 --> 00:29:23.700
just thought that was pretty cool. Yeah, I agree.

00:29:23.799 --> 00:29:26.200
That is cool. I mean, Maxwell House needs to

00:29:26.200 --> 00:29:28.400
do something anyhow because you never hear their

00:29:28.400 --> 00:29:38.690
name anymore. As to the house, it says apartment

00:29:38.690 --> 00:29:42.410
in red and blue. You know, before I started buying

00:29:42.410 --> 00:29:47.470
local coffees, like the Roastery and City Market

00:29:47.470 --> 00:29:50.210
and stuff, and their blends, you know, for home

00:29:50.210 --> 00:29:54.789
use. Yeah. Before I started doing all that, I

00:29:54.789 --> 00:29:59.670
preferred Maxwell House way over Folgers. Oh,

00:29:59.769 --> 00:30:02.869
I did too. Yeah, it was much smoother and better

00:30:02.869 --> 00:30:07.140
to me. It wasn't so acidic. So, yeah, Maxwell

00:30:07.140 --> 00:30:09.099
House, I think, has a good product for people

00:30:09.099 --> 00:30:12.700
that just want regular coffee. To me, it's the

00:30:12.700 --> 00:30:15.299
best. So, I think it's a good idea to do this

00:30:15.299 --> 00:30:17.160
to get their name out because you never hear

00:30:17.160 --> 00:30:20.640
about them anymore, do you? No, no. I mean, you

00:30:20.640 --> 00:30:23.619
hear about Folgers all the time, advertising

00:30:23.619 --> 00:30:26.259
and stuff. You just don't hear much about Maxwell

00:30:26.259 --> 00:30:27.819
House. No, they've kind of been like a forgotten

00:30:27.819 --> 00:30:30.180
brand. And usually, whenever that happens, they're

00:30:30.180 --> 00:30:35.039
gone, you know. Yeah, but... House is still a

00:30:35.039 --> 00:30:39.460
top brand. It really is. When it comes to store

00:30:39.460 --> 00:30:46.779
-bought coffee. No, you're right. So, yeah. Folgers

00:30:46.779 --> 00:30:50.839
and Maxwell House is what most people buy. Okay.

00:30:52.819 --> 00:30:55.339
Yep. No, I would think so, too. I think you're

00:30:55.339 --> 00:30:58.160
right on that. Alright. Thank you, Rob. That

00:30:58.160 --> 00:31:00.839
was a good story because, I mean, that kind of,

00:31:00.900 --> 00:31:03.789
you know, that's... I find stuff like that very

00:31:03.789 --> 00:31:06.809
interesting, especially like branding and keeping

00:31:06.809 --> 00:31:08.829
the name alive and all that stuff. Thank you,

00:31:08.829 --> 00:31:10.769
Rob. I appreciate that story a lot. And like

00:31:10.769 --> 00:31:16.289
I said, this is just a limited time deal. Yeah.

00:31:17.150 --> 00:31:19.849
Okay. Forty bucks, you get a year's worth of

00:31:19.849 --> 00:31:24.049
Maxwell House coffee. That's pretty cheap. You

00:31:24.049 --> 00:31:26.529
know what? I may do that anyhow and just start

00:31:26.529 --> 00:31:28.950
drinking it and just putting my own flavors in

00:31:28.950 --> 00:31:32.210
it. And seeing it, you know what? I have a feeling

00:31:32.210 --> 00:31:35.490
like this. You get used to fine coffee. I bet

00:31:35.490 --> 00:31:38.089
you can get used to regular coffee, too. You

00:31:38.089 --> 00:31:40.410
know what I mean? You go back and just start

00:31:40.410 --> 00:31:44.049
drinking it. Well, if you do one for one or whatever,

00:31:44.349 --> 00:31:47.250
maybe it'll last. Yeah, that's a good idea. You

00:31:47.250 --> 00:31:50.509
know, have like one bag of Fall Harvest Roastery,

00:31:50.529 --> 00:31:52.910
which I'm on right now, and then have one bag

00:31:52.910 --> 00:31:56.089
of Maxwell House, or maybe even mix them up.

00:31:56.299 --> 00:31:58.599
a little part of them, mix a little part of them

00:31:58.599 --> 00:32:00.519
up and try it like that. Yeah, make it last.

00:32:00.799 --> 00:32:03.400
Then you get two, three years out of it. Yeah,

00:32:03.420 --> 00:32:06.539
hell yeah. I think that's a great idea. 40 bucks.

00:32:06.920 --> 00:32:09.339
I will keep you and everybody informed on this.

00:32:09.380 --> 00:32:11.039
I think I'm going to do this. 40 bucks, that's

00:32:11.039 --> 00:32:13.039
not bad. And that's a great idea for Maxwell

00:32:13.039 --> 00:32:20.839
House. It's a little while it lasts. Okay. All

00:32:20.839 --> 00:32:22.920
righty. Do you want to take our first break and

00:32:22.920 --> 00:32:29.380
then come back with emails? This is Joshua Belmont,

00:32:29.440 --> 00:32:32.240
your food for thought man on the hustle. So I

00:32:32.240 --> 00:32:34.319
just realized a genius that gets absolutely no

00:32:34.319 --> 00:32:37.779
credit. His name is Marshall Taylor. He is credited

00:32:37.779 --> 00:32:40.059
with the first bag of salad mix that was bagged

00:32:40.059 --> 00:32:44.400
and sold. Yesterday was his birthday. I believe

00:32:44.400 --> 00:32:47.180
he is still alive. This guy's genius will never

00:32:47.180 --> 00:32:50.500
be fully appreciated. Before this man, we settled

00:32:50.500 --> 00:32:52.920
for iceberg lettuce with maybe a couple of croutons

00:32:52.920 --> 00:32:55.880
and some cheese. Was Mr. Taylor satisfied with

00:32:55.880 --> 00:32:59.279
that? Hell no. He realized that Billy Americana

00:32:59.279 --> 00:33:01.259
would never go out and buy a couple of radishes,

00:33:01.460 --> 00:33:03.700
a couple of carrots, a head of purple cabbage,

00:33:03.880 --> 00:33:06.519
maybe snow peas, and possibly some cute romaine

00:33:06.519 --> 00:33:10.400
bladders for extra bougie. Mr. Taylor, you should

00:33:10.400 --> 00:33:14.200
have a national holiday. Our constant pursuit

00:33:14.200 --> 00:33:17.940
for a real knee slapper. It's strange insults

00:33:17.940 --> 00:33:24.019
from an alien. Real hilarity. You have more fit

00:33:24.019 --> 00:33:31.019
in your personality. As you do in your ass. Oh

00:33:31.019 --> 00:33:33.220
man, what the fuck is this? Is this a new feature?

00:33:35.119 --> 00:33:40.079
What's inside Mark's head? Sounds stupid to me.

00:33:40.599 --> 00:33:43.980
If you took my first name backwards, it would

00:33:43.980 --> 00:33:49.440
read as Cram. And now we look in on the adventures

00:33:49.440 --> 00:33:53.099
of the Technical Explanation Guy. Excuse me,

00:33:53.099 --> 00:33:56.230
my dear sir. Could you please put my plain bread

00:33:56.230 --> 00:33:58.390
in a small countertop appliance with heating

00:33:58.390 --> 00:34:00.769
elements that would spring -loaded and would

00:34:00.769 --> 00:34:03.589
brown my bread adequately? Well, first off, I'm

00:34:03.589 --> 00:34:06.089
not a waiter. I'm just a guy over there sitting

00:34:06.089 --> 00:34:09.070
at the table having a drink. Second off, are

00:34:09.070 --> 00:34:10.869
you talking about someone toasting your bread?

00:34:11.289 --> 00:34:13.909
Why, yes. Yes, I am. I'm talking about my bread

00:34:13.909 --> 00:34:16.070
being toasted. Then why don't you just ask for

00:34:16.070 --> 00:34:18.630
your bread to be toasted, you dumb bastard? What

00:34:18.630 --> 00:34:21.070
the hell's wrong with you? Hey, everybody, this

00:34:21.070 --> 00:34:24.079
is Uncle Rob. I'm going to give you some tips

00:34:24.079 --> 00:34:29.440
for life. This is Uncle Rob's rules to dick pics.

00:34:30.340 --> 00:34:34.719
Rule number one, title a pic in someone else's

00:34:34.719 --> 00:34:39.780
name so if you get busted, it's not yours. Rule

00:34:39.780 --> 00:34:43.900
number two, shoot angles complementary to your

00:34:43.900 --> 00:34:50.079
length and girth. Rule number four, no propping

00:34:50.079 --> 00:35:07.130
of the leg. This is Chicago. I am the most dangerous

00:35:07.130 --> 00:35:14.369
city in North America. You can't touch me. Oh,

00:35:14.409 --> 00:35:16.469
yeah? This is Kansas City here. Hold my beer,

00:35:16.530 --> 00:35:19.690
bitch. Hello, this is Phineas J. Altaris III.

00:35:20.550 --> 00:35:23.150
I'm here to deliver your music news this evening.

00:35:28.289 --> 00:35:30.789
Tesla bassist and founding member Brian Wheat

00:35:30.789 --> 00:35:33.170
has teamed up with original Tesla guitarist Tommy

00:35:33.170 --> 00:35:36.210
Scoach in a new band called Terminal. Joining

00:35:36.210 --> 00:35:38.949
the duo in the new group are former Wasp guitarist

00:35:38.949 --> 00:35:41.329
Chris Holmes and original Saliva singer Josie

00:35:41.329 --> 00:35:44.250
Scott. They plan on putting an album out later

00:35:44.250 --> 00:35:47.949
on this year or early next year. This is Phineas

00:35:47.949 --> 00:35:52.769
J. Baltaris III. That has been your music news

00:35:52.769 --> 00:35:55.610
for this evening. I have one burning question

00:35:55.610 --> 00:35:58.940
for you all. Do people really skip around the

00:35:58.940 --> 00:36:03.159
Maypole? Tomorrow morning, while grinding your

00:36:03.159 --> 00:36:05.860
coffee beans for your double mocha latte, remember

00:36:05.860 --> 00:36:08.480
to not get your genitals caught in the grinder.

00:36:08.840 --> 00:36:12.219
It really hurts. Who can afford plastic surgery?

00:36:13.039 --> 00:36:18.800
Stay safe, everyone. The apocalypse just happened.

00:36:19.300 --> 00:36:22.079
You don't know what to do. You don't know where

00:36:22.079 --> 00:36:24.940
to go. But we can tell you what you can eat.

00:36:27.400 --> 00:36:29.960
Okay, it's post -apocalypse, and you're walking

00:36:29.960 --> 00:36:32.619
down the barren wasteland that used to be a city.

00:36:33.059 --> 00:36:36.139
You find an old can of beans lying in the middle

00:36:36.139 --> 00:36:39.000
of the road, but you do not have a can opener.

00:36:39.699 --> 00:36:43.340
What you do then is you find a patch of concrete,

00:36:43.500 --> 00:36:47.199
you rub the top of the can for five minutes,

00:36:47.360 --> 00:36:49.940
then you go to the middle of the can and squeeze

00:36:49.940 --> 00:36:54.840
it, and it should pop right open. Sir, I see

00:36:54.840 --> 00:36:57.449
your qualifications here. I have some further

00:36:57.449 --> 00:36:59.670
questions that could help me determine your employment

00:36:59.670 --> 00:37:03.570
eligibility. Yes, sir. I'm ready. Well, as you

00:37:03.570 --> 00:37:05.989
can see here, we have a large population of different

00:37:05.989 --> 00:37:10.429
ethnic backgrounds, sexuality, and ages. Are

00:37:10.429 --> 00:37:13.650
you by chance bilingual? Well, sir, I'm not sure

00:37:13.650 --> 00:37:16.230
why you need that kind of information, but, well,

00:37:16.309 --> 00:37:19.710
it was only one time in summer camp. I considered

00:37:19.710 --> 00:37:37.909
it experimental. Two douchebags and a microphone.

00:37:38.030 --> 00:37:40.809
I'm Mark here in the Kansas City vicinity at

00:37:40.809 --> 00:37:47.829
the Talk is Cheap studio. And I am Rob at the

00:37:47.829 --> 00:37:50.869
beautiful night warm of Lake of the Ozarks in

00:37:50.869 --> 00:37:55.769
the Doug Blount studio. For now. Thank you, Rob.

00:37:56.230 --> 00:37:58.570
All right. We're going to do some emails here

00:37:58.570 --> 00:38:03.429
like we spoke about. Mark and Rob, will you ever

00:38:03.429 --> 00:38:06.599
do more than two douchebag shows a week? I will

00:38:06.599 --> 00:38:09.159
take whatever I can get, but one or two more

00:38:09.159 --> 00:38:13.300
would be nice. Don in Little Rock. Don, thank

00:38:13.300 --> 00:38:16.860
you. That is a great compliment. Yes, yes. Maybe

00:38:16.860 --> 00:38:19.440
later. I mean, could you see us doing another

00:38:19.440 --> 00:38:25.639
one later? Maybe? I don't know. Well, if you

00:38:25.639 --> 00:38:28.840
go back in our history, we were doing four a

00:38:28.840 --> 00:38:31.059
week there for a long time. And there's no way

00:38:31.059 --> 00:38:33.800
we could keep up with it. It wore us out. Yeah.

00:38:34.590 --> 00:38:38.269
So, I mean, maybe... Between normal life, you

00:38:38.269 --> 00:38:43.909
know, actual life, and this, I could see us doing

00:38:43.909 --> 00:38:46.409
another one. Yeah, but I don't see doing four.

00:38:46.610 --> 00:38:50.190
Four is too much. Four is too much. We could

00:38:50.190 --> 00:38:52.070
probably bump it up to three, but we're going

00:38:52.070 --> 00:38:54.769
to have to wait. You know, we can't do it right

00:38:54.769 --> 00:38:58.090
now. Both of us are way too busy. Oh, yeah. Plus,

00:38:58.289 --> 00:39:01.989
I'm already moving and everything else. So, yeah.

00:39:02.349 --> 00:39:05.610
So how about after the first of the year, we'll

00:39:05.610 --> 00:39:11.369
re -examine this, Don? Yes. I totally agree.

00:39:11.630 --> 00:39:14.130
I totally agree. Yeah, and then if we both feel

00:39:14.130 --> 00:39:15.989
like we're comfortable with doing it, we'll do

00:39:15.989 --> 00:39:18.230
another show. But four, I'm sorry, you're not

00:39:18.230 --> 00:39:21.210
going to... Yeah, four is too much, yes. Yes,

00:39:21.210 --> 00:39:24.510
way too much. If this was our main job, yes.

00:39:25.010 --> 00:39:27.809
I'd be doing fucking ten a week. What about you?

00:39:28.550 --> 00:39:32.320
Oh, yeah, we'd be on 24 -7. Yeah, they'd never

00:39:32.320 --> 00:39:34.940
get us off of here. But the fact that it is a

00:39:34.940 --> 00:39:41.519
hobby and a non -monetary generating hobby. So,

00:39:41.679 --> 00:39:44.539
you know, you get what you get. We're just glad,

00:39:44.780 --> 00:39:46.880
Don and Little Rock, we're just glad that you

00:39:46.880 --> 00:39:49.380
love the show that much. You want more. And we're

00:39:49.380 --> 00:39:57.000
going to try to get you another show. Yep, so

00:39:57.000 --> 00:40:01.119
this is the way it is. By the way, Don, I love

00:40:01.119 --> 00:40:03.460
the river district down there in Little Rock

00:40:03.460 --> 00:40:05.500
near the Arkansas River. Isn't that a beautiful

00:40:05.500 --> 00:40:08.920
area? Yes, I do too. I need to get back there.

00:40:09.360 --> 00:40:12.440
They have such a nice... Actually, me and Princess

00:40:12.440 --> 00:40:14.679
are talking about making a trip down that way.

00:40:14.980 --> 00:40:17.460
Oh yeah, you can't go wrong. It's beautiful.

00:40:17.719 --> 00:40:20.400
It's a nice city. I really enjoy Little Rock.

00:40:20.659 --> 00:40:25.550
Yeah. It's not too big. But it's big enough that

00:40:25.550 --> 00:40:27.530
everything, you know, there's good hospitals

00:40:27.530 --> 00:40:29.809
there. There's, you know, there's good restaurants,

00:40:30.070 --> 00:40:33.070
everything like that. It's big enough that you

00:40:33.070 --> 00:40:35.130
can live there comfortably and get all your needs

00:40:35.130 --> 00:40:38.510
taken care of. But it's not too big to where

00:40:38.510 --> 00:40:40.969
you're constantly battling traffic and feeling,

00:40:41.050 --> 00:40:43.829
you know, cooped up and all that. So, and like

00:40:43.829 --> 00:40:45.610
I said, the river district there is beautiful.

00:40:45.829 --> 00:40:47.530
And then they have another district on the north

00:40:47.530 --> 00:40:49.409
side of town. I can't remember the name of it,

00:40:49.469 --> 00:40:52.710
but that's pretty cool. Yeah, you know what I

00:40:52.710 --> 00:40:57.340
mean? Yeah. It's kind of like Ybor City if you've

00:40:57.340 --> 00:41:00.940
ever been there in Tampa. It's kind of like that.

00:41:01.119 --> 00:41:03.739
Or even maybe even kind of like a Westport or

00:41:03.739 --> 00:41:06.039
a West End in Dallas or something like that.

00:41:06.260 --> 00:41:14.000
All right. Next one. Rob, we're putting up an

00:41:14.000 --> 00:41:18.380
anti -Mark website. We had AI simulate Clint

00:41:18.380 --> 00:41:23.889
kicking Mark in the teeth. What the fuck? Anyhow,

00:41:23.889 --> 00:41:28.429
man, it's fun to watch. What the fuck again?

00:41:29.349 --> 00:41:32.510
We want to know if you could maybe put a paragraph

00:41:32.510 --> 00:41:36.289
that will support Mark being a dickhead. Thanks

00:41:36.289 --> 00:41:44.590
in advance. Rich, Mitch's brother. Rich, Mitch's

00:41:44.590 --> 00:41:48.710
brother. Rich, Mitch's brother. Mitch had jury

00:41:48.710 --> 00:41:56.110
duty just like Mark did. These fuckers. I've

00:41:56.110 --> 00:41:59.409
got to meet, even though someone wants to...

00:41:59.409 --> 00:42:06.949
I don't know. How did I get on his bad side?

00:42:07.070 --> 00:42:09.110
What did I do? I never said anything to him.

00:42:10.969 --> 00:42:18.909
I don't either. But I've got to meet Mitch. There

00:42:18.909 --> 00:42:25.840
you go. see what he looks like. Yeah, yeah. Hey,

00:42:25.960 --> 00:42:29.199
Mitch, send us a photo. You know, we have the

00:42:29.199 --> 00:42:31.739
webpage. Well, no, you can stand right there

00:42:31.739 --> 00:42:33.900
and we're going to find the pictures. Yeah, you're

00:42:33.900 --> 00:42:40.619
right. Yeah? Yeah. Alright, thanks. I'll be laughing

00:42:40.619 --> 00:42:44.059
my ass off as I'm walking into work in the morning.

00:42:44.519 --> 00:42:48.300
Okay, my rebuttal is Mitch and Rich and Clint

00:42:48.300 --> 00:42:54.179
are all a bunch of little girls. Hey, wait a

00:42:54.179 --> 00:42:57.059
second. Oh, I'm insulting little girls. I'm sorry.

00:42:59.079 --> 00:43:02.239
Well, that too, but I just thought of something.

00:43:02.599 --> 00:43:04.659
Yeah, what? Yeah, go ahead. Oh, no, I'm done.

00:43:04.760 --> 00:43:20.230
Go ahead. They must have Narcan there in Freeman.

00:43:20.289 --> 00:43:23.289
That's all I can think of. I bet you his lover,

00:43:23.710 --> 00:43:28.250
Mitch, probably bought him some Narcan. Which

00:43:28.250 --> 00:43:33.909
ones bought him? I don't even fucking know. I

00:43:33.909 --> 00:43:36.550
think they switch back and forth. One day Mitch

00:43:36.550 --> 00:43:40.869
is a girl. Next day Clint's a girl. No, no, no,

00:43:40.869 --> 00:43:46.070
no, no, no. Actually, I think Mitch is the butch.

00:43:46.349 --> 00:43:52.719
Oh, you do? Yeah, Mitch told him, he said, bitch,

00:43:52.760 --> 00:43:56.000
don't you say anything. Yeah, Mitch the bitch.

00:43:56.340 --> 00:43:59.079
You keep your mouth quiet or I'm coming for you.

00:43:59.139 --> 00:44:01.679
And Clint's over there cowering. He's cowering

00:44:01.679 --> 00:44:04.420
in the corner going, yes, daddy, yes, yes, daddy.

00:44:04.539 --> 00:44:09.760
I'll keep my mouth shut. I see it already. I

00:44:09.760 --> 00:44:13.880
see it on my TV. Yeah, I see it too. All right,

00:44:13.940 --> 00:44:17.800
next one. Rob and Mark, what should I do? I have

00:44:17.800 --> 00:44:21.010
bloody stool and extreme ball sack pain. Should

00:44:21.010 --> 00:44:25.250
I soak it in ice, bandage it? I need help in

00:44:25.250 --> 00:44:34.650
Colorado, is what he signed. ER. ER. Yeah, ER.

00:44:34.869 --> 00:44:37.369
Bloody stool and ball sack pain does not sound

00:44:37.369 --> 00:44:39.510
like it's going to end well. So if I were you,

00:44:39.530 --> 00:44:42.510
I would preempt this by going straight to the

00:44:42.510 --> 00:44:53.400
ER and not messing around. No, if you got both

00:44:53.400 --> 00:44:56.119
of them going at once, I'd get to New York. Yeah,

00:44:56.119 --> 00:44:59.840
yeah. So, I need help in Colorado. Yeah, you

00:44:59.840 --> 00:45:04.460
do need help. Go get it. Yeah. All right, next

00:45:04.460 --> 00:45:10.179
one. No, this one's fucked. Okay. I love when

00:45:10.179 --> 00:45:12.900
you say that. I swear, this is the best segment

00:45:12.900 --> 00:45:17.739
we do, and we don't even write it. I know. Okay,

00:45:17.800 --> 00:45:20.780
we are so fortunate to have people that listen.

00:45:21.199 --> 00:45:26.500
that have this type of a personality. I mean,

00:45:26.519 --> 00:45:29.980
it really enhances the show. I tell you, they're

00:45:29.980 --> 00:45:32.360
just trying to help us out. They feel sorry for

00:45:32.360 --> 00:45:34.780
us. Probably. He's got to sound like shit. I

00:45:34.780 --> 00:45:39.119
better send him something good. All right. Next

00:45:39.119 --> 00:45:41.780
one. I'm searching for your potluck raw gizzard

00:45:41.780 --> 00:45:44.659
pie recipe. Do you have it somewhere? Thanks,

00:45:44.719 --> 00:45:47.000
Jimmy and Flagstaff. He doesn't ask which one.

00:45:47.340 --> 00:45:51.750
He doesn't ask if it's mine or yours. So it's

00:45:51.750 --> 00:45:56.230
a potluck raw gizzard pie. The recipe for that.

00:45:58.550 --> 00:46:02.769
You just want to make one up here? Oh, it's easy.

00:46:03.230 --> 00:46:06.989
Okay, go ahead. Just go kill a bunch of chickens

00:46:06.989 --> 00:46:08.630
and cut the gizzards out and throw it on the

00:46:08.630 --> 00:46:15.610
plate. And that's it? That's gizzard potluck.

00:46:15.710 --> 00:46:19.030
Raw gizzard pie. Okay, there you go. Thank you,

00:46:19.030 --> 00:46:25.239
Rob. Okay, there you go, Jimmy and Flagstaff.

00:46:27.860 --> 00:46:31.800
All right. Next one. When is Jeffy X returning?

00:46:31.980 --> 00:46:35.119
I miss his segments. P .S. Rob, did you get him

00:46:35.119 --> 00:46:38.940
his new Sgt. Pepper suits? Tiff in Oxnard, probably

00:46:38.940 --> 00:46:41.380
California. Oxnard, California, I would bet,

00:46:41.539 --> 00:46:51.980
is where Tiff is from. Okay, well, Tiff. Yeah,

00:46:51.980 --> 00:46:57.900
and I'm going to be... He told me that it would

00:46:57.900 --> 00:47:00.940
be a little while before he'd get with us. Yep.

00:47:01.300 --> 00:47:04.559
He's a little busy right now. He has a lot of

00:47:04.559 --> 00:47:06.519
heat on him right now. Yeah, yeah, they're looking

00:47:06.519 --> 00:47:09.380
for him. He will be back. He will be back. He

00:47:09.380 --> 00:47:12.960
promised that. Yeah. And so if you want another

00:47:12.960 --> 00:47:15.840
answer right here, just long and short of it

00:47:15.840 --> 00:47:19.030
right here is... is I was questioning what kind

00:47:19.030 --> 00:47:21.590
of a character he was and whether he fits in

00:47:21.590 --> 00:47:24.289
this show or not. And so I've been kind of like

00:47:24.289 --> 00:47:26.610
holding off on him. But we've had quite a few

00:47:26.610 --> 00:47:31.389
emails that has been wanting him to come back.

00:47:31.769 --> 00:47:34.550
So, I mean, and Rob, do you like Jeffy X too?

00:47:34.590 --> 00:47:38.949
Do you think it's a good segment? Dude, I spent

00:47:38.949 --> 00:47:43.730
how much money on him making him that suit? Okay.

00:47:43.750 --> 00:47:49.500
And now I have... Okay, all right. I tend to

00:47:49.500 --> 00:47:52.800
overthink some stuff. Which is a weak supply

00:47:52.800 --> 00:47:56.059
of each. All right, you know what? Jeffy X is

00:47:56.059 --> 00:47:58.599
not going anywhere. So there you guys go. You

00:47:58.599 --> 00:48:03.820
get Jeffy X indefinitely. But until then, I think

00:48:03.820 --> 00:48:07.219
he's hiding out in the... Yeah, I know. He did

00:48:07.219 --> 00:48:10.860
tell me he has to lay low right now. He got some

00:48:10.860 --> 00:48:13.300
heat. Yeah, yeah. He's got people looking for

00:48:13.300 --> 00:48:18.619
him for giving out the lists. Yeah, yeah. Next

00:48:18.619 --> 00:48:22.000
one, guys. This one's sad because we love the

00:48:22.000 --> 00:48:26.079
guy. Guys, I miss Tulsa so bad. I cannot stand

00:48:26.079 --> 00:48:29.280
Atlanta. Your show keeps me sane. Thank you.

00:48:29.280 --> 00:48:32.679
Please don't stop. Ronnie and Tulsa, the Tulsa

00:48:32.679 --> 00:48:40.559
King. Hello, Ronnie. Glad we're happy it helps.

00:48:42.139 --> 00:48:45.980
I feel for you. Tulsa's his home. You know that.

00:48:46.480 --> 00:48:51.079
I know he does. Yeah, he loves Tulsa. So, Ronnie,

00:48:51.199 --> 00:48:54.940
I wish I had an answer for you. I mean, we're...

00:48:54.940 --> 00:48:58.860
Ronnie, the only thing I can tell you, Ronnie,

00:48:58.940 --> 00:49:04.239
is just look to get back. Yeah, yeah. If that's

00:49:04.239 --> 00:49:07.599
what you feel, if that is what your heart is

00:49:07.599 --> 00:49:11.280
telling you, find something else to get back

00:49:11.280 --> 00:49:15.519
to Tulsa. Well, I shot him a couple... I shot

00:49:15.519 --> 00:49:18.019
him a couple of ideas. I shot him a couple of

00:49:18.019 --> 00:49:20.320
ideas, and he was receptive to it. So, we'll

00:49:20.320 --> 00:49:25.159
see. Yeah. I mean, you've got to follow your

00:49:25.159 --> 00:49:28.360
heart, especially when you get older. You know,

00:49:28.460 --> 00:49:32.320
you've got to do what makes you happy. Yeah.

00:49:32.659 --> 00:49:36.460
Yeah, you do. And I've learned that in the last

00:49:36.460 --> 00:49:40.119
few years. Yeah, and you sound so much happier

00:49:40.119 --> 00:49:45.280
too, Rob. So, it's working. It's working. Oh,

00:49:45.280 --> 00:49:48.760
I forgot to tell you. Yeah. Guess where I'm going

00:49:48.760 --> 00:49:53.099
this Saturday. Where? Do you remember the call

00:49:53.099 --> 00:49:58.920
in I did from Jacob's Cave Swamp Beat? Yeah,

00:49:58.920 --> 00:50:03.159
yeah. Down there? Uh -huh, I remember that. Me

00:50:03.159 --> 00:50:05.579
and Princess and her brother are going Saturday.

00:50:05.940 --> 00:50:08.599
Yeah, yeah, we were up at the city market on

00:50:08.599 --> 00:50:12.559
a Saturday, weren't we? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah,

00:50:12.559 --> 00:50:14.099
we couldn't believe you called in when you were

00:50:14.099 --> 00:50:17.440
somewhere. It's awesome. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I

00:50:17.440 --> 00:50:22.739
was at the Swampy at Viper Sales. It's a Jenkins

00:50:22.739 --> 00:50:26.219
Cave Swampy. Yep, I remember. Big deal, man.

00:50:26.559 --> 00:50:31.000
It's a huge deal. You want to find anything,

00:50:31.199 --> 00:50:34.340
go down there. You'll find it. Yeah, like old

00:50:34.340 --> 00:50:36.780
stereo equipment and all that good stuff. Whatever.

00:50:37.039 --> 00:50:48.710
Yeah, whatever. They have pinball machines. No

00:50:48.710 --> 00:50:52.269
kidding? Please do. I just thought of that. He

00:50:52.269 --> 00:50:57.349
lives in Texas, but his mom lives up here. Yeah,

00:50:57.429 --> 00:51:00.170
I'll hook you up with that. I'm such a dick.

00:51:00.190 --> 00:51:02.750
I don't have room for it anywhere, but I'm still

00:51:02.750 --> 00:51:07.150
going to get one. Why not? I'll put it on the

00:51:07.150 --> 00:51:11.809
fucking roof. I don't care. So whatever. Build

00:51:11.809 --> 00:51:15.869
a shed. Oh, I'll make a pinball tent. How's that?

00:51:18.920 --> 00:51:20.940
Anyone want to go to my pinball tent? What? Yeah,

00:51:21.000 --> 00:51:22.800
yeah, it's a tent with pinball machines. Yeah,

00:51:22.840 --> 00:51:25.559
a tent would be better than a shed, yeah. Yeah,

00:51:25.559 --> 00:51:28.360
hell yeah, a pinball tent. That's awesome. There

00:51:28.360 --> 00:51:32.460
we go, problem solved. And the extension cord

00:51:32.460 --> 00:51:36.019
stays dry underneath the tent, so you don't have

00:51:36.019 --> 00:51:40.280
to worry about getting fried. Exactly. Yeah.

00:51:40.300 --> 00:51:42.159
Just cut the hole in the bottom of the tent,

00:51:42.280 --> 00:51:44.820
bring it up through, you got it. What could possibly

00:51:44.820 --> 00:51:51.340
go wrong? Okay, Rob, I have a featured email,

00:51:51.440 --> 00:51:56.300
but it's a little lengthy. So, go ahead with

00:51:56.300 --> 00:51:58.119
something and I'll come back to you. Oh, no,

00:51:58.119 --> 00:52:00.659
that's fine. Okay. Oh, okay. Oh, do you want

00:52:00.659 --> 00:52:03.920
me to go ahead and go? Well, either you or me,

00:52:04.000 --> 00:52:07.460
one of the two. You make up my mind, man. Okay,

00:52:07.519 --> 00:52:09.480
you go ahead and go because I've been talking

00:52:09.480 --> 00:52:11.380
a while and I think it's very important to have

00:52:11.380 --> 00:52:13.909
that seesaw. Okay, rest your voice. Yes. Well,

00:52:14.030 --> 00:52:16.510
I like the seesaw. Go to you. You have a different

00:52:16.510 --> 00:52:19.269
voice, a different perspective. Go to me. I think

00:52:19.269 --> 00:52:21.750
we need to keep that up. So I've been talking

00:52:21.750 --> 00:52:24.090
a little bit too much. So I will get back to

00:52:24.090 --> 00:52:43.599
this after you do your story, okay? I love it.

00:53:39.920 --> 00:53:49.239
Okay. That was the first grab. Okay. Okay, I'm

00:53:49.239 --> 00:53:53.860
reaching in the bag of garbage again. I love

00:53:53.860 --> 00:53:56.219
that first piece of garbage. Keep it coming.

00:54:34.619 --> 00:54:42.000
So far, I'm loving your bag of garbage. Okay,

00:54:42.039 --> 00:54:46.659
actually, this one might give... Let me reach

00:54:46.659 --> 00:54:49.820
in first. Oh, you know what we need to do, Rob?

00:54:49.920 --> 00:54:52.139
We need to make a sound like you're reaching

00:54:52.139 --> 00:54:54.699
in this bag of garbage. Yeah, we'll figure that

00:54:54.699 --> 00:54:57.000
out later. Go ahead. That'll make this thing...

00:54:57.000 --> 00:55:50.079
That'll put it over the top. Yeah, boy. Okay.

00:55:50.079 --> 00:55:54.719
What do you think? I don't know. What do you

00:55:54.719 --> 00:56:01.340
think? I think he would have done perfect if

00:56:01.340 --> 00:56:05.219
it was anything but a fucking hard Pacific. You

00:56:05.219 --> 00:56:07.460
know, okay, it's going to go different. You know

00:56:07.460 --> 00:56:11.340
what? I agree with that. I think that's, yes.

00:56:13.130 --> 00:56:22.250
Yes, a Prius. Yeah. A Corolla. There we go. That's

00:56:22.250 --> 00:56:26.389
a good media item. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a

00:56:26.389 --> 00:56:36.610
good middle ground right there. Okay. Okay. That's

00:56:36.610 --> 00:56:39.570
what it is. Seal of approval. Stamp. There we

00:56:39.570 --> 00:56:46.900
go. Go a little more expensive next time, dude.

00:56:49.320 --> 00:56:54.139
I'm looking at the car. At least get the sunroof.

00:56:57.679 --> 00:57:02.179
No, actually, I'm looking at the car. He probably

00:57:02.179 --> 00:57:09.659
paid about three, four grand for it. What song?

00:57:11.019 --> 00:57:13.679
I think it was Stormtroopers. Yes, yes. Yeah,

00:57:13.800 --> 00:57:19.340
Harry would still be it. Let's see. Harry was

00:57:19.340 --> 00:57:22.599
too cheap to buy a real car. He had a Volkswagen

00:57:22.599 --> 00:57:26.019
Rabbit, and that's going to put an end to Harry's

00:57:26.019 --> 00:57:29.280
cheap habit. The truck couldn't stop, so the

00:57:29.280 --> 00:57:33.039
driver took aim. The truck hit Harry. Harry burst

00:57:33.039 --> 00:57:35.719
into flames. You're dead now, Harry. You can't

00:57:35.719 --> 00:57:37.659
come back. You'd still be alive if you drove

00:57:37.659 --> 00:57:40.360
a Cadillac. That was it. That was it. That was

00:57:40.360 --> 00:57:45.119
S -O -D. Ode to Harry. Anyhow, go ahead, Rob.

00:57:45.179 --> 00:57:48.480
I'm sorry. Okay, that was all up for tonight.

00:57:48.739 --> 00:57:51.179
That was awesome. I love that. We're going to

00:57:51.179 --> 00:57:52.800
work on that. We're going to perfect that. We're

00:57:52.800 --> 00:57:55.619
going to make sound effects. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:57:55.840 --> 00:57:59.079
I got more. I got plenty more. I'm thinking about

00:57:59.079 --> 00:58:01.119
maybe doing like, you know, a trash truck sound.

00:58:04.619 --> 00:58:07.340
Back of garbage. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:58:07.440 --> 00:58:09.150
Oh, you know what? Alright, I'm going to come

00:58:09.150 --> 00:58:11.369
up with something and then Sunday night I'll

00:58:11.369 --> 00:58:16.010
play it to you beforehand. Okay? And then you

00:58:16.010 --> 00:58:17.590
fuckers are going to have to wait until the next

00:58:17.590 --> 00:58:21.510
one. So there. Alright. I got a featured email

00:58:21.510 --> 00:58:25.230
before we go to the second break here. Okay,

00:58:25.289 --> 00:58:27.769
Mark. Thank you, Rob, by the way. Alright, Mark.

00:58:28.030 --> 00:58:31.989
Yes, sir. You did a post years ago on... Thank

00:58:31.989 --> 00:58:34.949
you. Val just brought me some food. Thanks, babe.

00:58:35.349 --> 00:58:44.480
And there's the show, Kat. Thank you, Val. Okay.

00:58:44.480 --> 00:58:47.159
Mark, you did a post years ago on the Food Dude

00:58:47.159 --> 00:58:50.480
that was a review of an Italian coffee house

00:58:50.480 --> 00:58:53.820
pastry and deli in Denver. You said you still

00:58:53.820 --> 00:58:56.900
have the transcripts. Yep. Could you possibly

00:58:56.900 --> 00:59:00.869
find your review and name of the place? Well,

00:59:01.010 --> 00:59:03.329
like I said, I have all my transcripts. I can't

00:59:03.329 --> 00:59:05.170
find the food dude. He's nowhere to be found.

00:59:05.250 --> 00:59:07.869
Some asshole took the name, and I don't know

00:59:07.869 --> 00:59:11.250
how he kicked me out of my own thing. But on

00:59:11.250 --> 00:59:13.409
Instagram, it's no longer there, and he got some

00:59:13.409 --> 00:59:15.409
other asshole called the food dude. I don't know

00:59:15.409 --> 00:59:18.570
how it happened. Maybe by me not doing anything

00:59:18.570 --> 00:59:20.909
with it, it relinquished it. I don't know. I

00:59:20.909 --> 00:59:23.889
don't know enough about it. Okay, I looked it

00:59:23.889 --> 00:59:30.250
up, and it's Giordano's Italian Coffee. pastries

00:59:30.250 --> 00:59:37.230
and deli it is on fifth and wayne in denver downtown

00:59:37.230 --> 00:59:41.150
denver first off the cappuccino was extraordinary

00:59:41.150 --> 00:59:44.670
like true italian coffee houses no sugar or cream

00:59:44.670 --> 00:59:47.989
the coffee is ruined to them if you doctor it

00:59:47.989 --> 00:59:51.269
up so they don't have anything there yeah a lot

00:59:51.269 --> 00:59:52.710
of people came in and said hey do you have any

00:59:52.710 --> 00:59:56.769
simple sir no we don't do that here you drink

00:59:56.769 --> 01:00:00.429
it like it is or You eat a pastry with a black

01:00:00.429 --> 01:00:04.110
coffee. That is the whole idea of Italian coffee.

01:00:04.670 --> 01:00:06.650
They have like these little cookies and stuff

01:00:06.650 --> 01:00:09.789
they eat with it. So they don't have any sugar,

01:00:09.869 --> 01:00:12.949
cream, or anything like that. You drink the coffee

01:00:12.949 --> 01:00:15.590
while you're eating something sweet, or you don't

01:00:15.590 --> 01:00:18.130
have something sweet with your coffee. So the

01:00:18.130 --> 01:00:21.369
pastries that I tried were the Cornettos, which

01:00:21.369 --> 01:00:24.369
is a lot like a croissant, but sweet with a more

01:00:24.369 --> 01:00:27.730
doughy crust. Excellent for cappuccinos. It's

01:00:27.730 --> 01:00:31.309
just the great, it's just perfect pairing with

01:00:31.309 --> 01:00:36.210
a good cappuccino. I also had the saffitella,

01:00:36.230 --> 01:00:39.210
I think is how they pronounce it, a flaky shell

01:00:39.210 --> 01:00:43.389
-shaped pastry that is Naples Pacific, specific,

01:00:43.489 --> 01:00:46.869
not Pacific, specific, tasty flaky shell -shaped

01:00:46.869 --> 01:00:49.929
pastry with layered dough filled with sweet ricotta.

01:00:50.269 --> 01:00:54.130
And, oh, I still dream about that. All that was

01:00:54.130 --> 01:00:57.289
amazing, but not as much as the pasticciato,

01:00:57.289 --> 01:01:02.110
which is a short crust filled with custard, quite

01:01:02.110 --> 01:01:05.670
similar to pasticcio, the Greek pastry. I took

01:01:05.670 --> 01:01:07.449
a deli sandwich back to the hotel, and it was

01:01:07.449 --> 01:01:09.889
still fantastic. Four hours later, I had the

01:01:09.889 --> 01:01:12.650
chariot, salami, and fresh basil, mozzarella,

01:01:13.070 --> 01:01:16.130
burrata cheese, and green olives, pickled green

01:01:16.130 --> 01:01:18.769
olives, with imported balsamic vinegar drizzle.

01:01:18.909 --> 01:01:22.119
It was an amazing sandwich. The owner's first

01:01:22.119 --> 01:01:25.840
name is Grotto, but he goes by Otto. Five stars.

01:01:26.619 --> 01:01:29.280
Anywhere near Denver, go there immediately. Do

01:01:29.280 --> 01:01:32.099
not fuck around. Go straight there. What the

01:01:32.099 --> 01:01:37.260
fuck was the guy's name? I didn't put it down

01:01:37.260 --> 01:01:40.360
here. Okay. I know you, though. So, anyhow, thank

01:01:40.360 --> 01:01:45.159
you for that. There you go. Anyhow, it's not

01:01:45.159 --> 01:01:46.860
important. I don't think he gives a shit if I

01:01:46.860 --> 01:01:49.920
give his name or not. So let's go to our second

01:01:49.920 --> 01:01:52.579
break. We're way late. We'll be right back. Sound

01:01:52.579 --> 01:01:54.300
like a plan? All right. All right, we'll come

01:01:54.300 --> 01:01:56.940
back with something you want to do. All right.

01:01:59.739 --> 01:02:01.619
Have you ever wondered what something came about?

01:02:01.920 --> 01:02:03.940
Have you ever looked at something and said, hmm,

01:02:04.019 --> 01:02:07.079
I wonder what the origin of that is? Well, so

01:02:07.079 --> 01:02:10.980
have we. That's why we give you The Origin of

01:02:10.980 --> 01:02:15.320
The Origins of Beignet. Beignet's first maiden

01:02:15.320 --> 01:02:18.539
appearance in New Orleans in the 1700s when French

01:02:18.539 --> 01:02:21.059
Creole colonists settled the land. According

01:02:21.059 --> 01:02:24.820
to NewOrleans .com, also known as French Arcadians,

01:02:24.940 --> 01:02:27.860
they moved to the Bayou Lands in Louisiana after

01:02:27.860 --> 01:02:30.260
they were forced from their homes in the Nova

01:02:30.260 --> 01:02:34.260
Scotia area by the British, reports Britannica.

01:02:35.460 --> 01:02:37.780
Oh man, what the fuck is this? Is this a new

01:02:37.780 --> 01:02:44.719
feature? What's inside Mark's head? Sounds stupid

01:02:44.719 --> 01:02:50.500
to me. Stromboli is so delicious. I love Stromboli.

01:02:51.380 --> 01:02:55.320
I wonder if it loves me back. I bet you it does.

01:02:56.400 --> 01:03:00.460
Stromboli is so tasty. It's like a giant pizza

01:03:00.460 --> 01:03:03.820
roll with more flavor. It's the ultimate food.

01:03:04.219 --> 01:03:09.760
Mmm, Stromboli. We need Stromboli cereal. Yeah,

01:03:09.780 --> 01:03:13.500
yeah. Yeah, that's it. Stromboli cereal. Mmm,

01:03:13.860 --> 01:03:18.320
Stromboli flakes. Mmm. Harambe used to listen

01:03:18.320 --> 01:03:20.480
to our original show, Two Dipshits and Cheap

01:03:20.480 --> 01:03:23.340
Radio Shack Realistic Tape Recorder. Harambe

01:03:23.340 --> 01:03:26.239
does not listen to our original show, Two Dipshits

01:03:26.239 --> 01:03:28.719
and Cheap Radio Shack Realistic Tape Recorder

01:03:28.719 --> 01:03:32.320
anymore. You might ask why Harambe never listens

01:03:32.320 --> 01:03:34.519
to our original show, Two Dipshits and Cheap

01:03:34.519 --> 01:03:37.860
Radio Shack Realistic Tape Recorder. Well, it's

01:03:37.860 --> 01:03:40.500
because Harambe is dead. Senselessly murdered

01:03:40.500 --> 01:03:43.059
because some idiot did not watch her child properly

01:03:43.059 --> 01:03:45.869
while looking on her phone. Sadly, Arambe does

01:03:45.869 --> 01:03:48.030
not listen to our original show, Two Gypsies

01:03:48.030 --> 01:03:50.210
and the Cheap Radio Shack Realistic Tape Recorder,

01:03:50.289 --> 01:03:56.289
or any other show. Anymore. Sorry, Arambe. All

01:03:56.289 --> 01:04:00.409
those who believe in psychokinesis, raise my

01:04:00.409 --> 01:04:05.750
hand. That needs to happen. They used to call

01:04:05.750 --> 01:04:11.159
it Jump -Oleem until your mama got on it. Somewhere

01:04:11.159 --> 01:04:13.579
in the heavens, your great Grammy Gertrude is

01:04:13.579 --> 01:04:16.780
crying because her little Bebo is listening to

01:04:16.780 --> 01:04:21.679
this film. Next up, Things Overheard in Hell.

01:04:21.920 --> 01:04:26.139
John Wayne Gacy is in charge of human resources.

01:04:27.260 --> 01:04:36.059
And now, Deep Thoughts with Mark. Hmm. If I was

01:04:36.059 --> 01:04:39.590
to speak into a megaphone backwards... Would

01:04:39.590 --> 01:04:44.929
it then sound like a whisper? I may never know.

01:04:49.250 --> 01:04:51.730
Ms. Gulkenstein was tired of Mark and Toe for

01:04:51.730 --> 01:04:54.369
making sport of her. Little did the douchebags

01:04:54.369 --> 01:04:57.250
know Ms. Gulkenstein was a voodoo high priestess

01:04:57.250 --> 01:05:00.789
when she was younger. She grew angry and cast

01:05:00.789 --> 01:05:03.849
a spell on Rob, changing Rob into a capuchin

01:05:03.849 --> 01:05:08.409
monkey. Mark took Rob to a local zoo so he could

01:05:08.409 --> 01:05:10.829
be with the other monkeys. Here are the adventures

01:05:10.829 --> 01:05:17.250
of Rob, the capuchin monkey. Shh, be very quiet.

01:05:17.690 --> 01:05:20.369
We're going to listen in as Rob, the capuchin

01:05:20.369 --> 01:05:22.449
monkey, tries to sell the rest of the capuchin

01:05:22.449 --> 01:05:25.250
monkeys Amway. Rob has always dreamed of becoming

01:05:25.250 --> 01:05:28.710
a diamond status Amway as a capuchin monkey.

01:05:49.519 --> 01:05:53.300
Little did our hero Rob know. All the great apes

01:05:53.300 --> 01:05:55.539
owned stock in Sam's Club and became violently

01:05:55.539 --> 01:05:57.599
pissed off when he tried to infringe on their

01:05:57.599 --> 01:06:00.300
territory. They promptly grabbed switches and

01:06:00.300 --> 01:06:02.900
beat his ass for three days straight. Rob could

01:06:02.900 --> 01:06:06.639
not sit down. So you want proof that we love

01:06:06.639 --> 01:06:08.679
you here at QD Spades and Microphone Central?

01:06:09.420 --> 01:06:11.760
Here's a proof right here. How about the drink

01:06:11.760 --> 01:06:15.800
of the week? Hey, my little bacon bits. Didn't

01:06:15.800 --> 01:06:17.860
you need to get to Smashville pronto? Did your

01:06:17.860 --> 01:06:20.440
friends start without you? We have your solution.

01:06:21.039 --> 01:06:24.639
Adios, motherfuckers. Adios, motherfuckers is

01:06:24.639 --> 01:06:27.280
one stiff drink. It should be used with caution.

01:06:28.460 --> 01:06:30.880
One half ounce of vodka. One half ounce of rum.

01:06:31.039 --> 01:06:33.519
One half ounce of tequila. One half ounce of

01:06:33.519 --> 01:06:36.420
gin. One half ounce of blue curacao. Two ounces

01:06:36.420 --> 01:06:39.860
of sweet and sour mix. Sprite or 7 -Up. Use a

01:06:39.860 --> 01:06:42.380
lemon wedge as a garnish and put in a highball

01:06:42.380 --> 01:07:04.019
glass. Bam. There you go. Two douchebags and

01:07:04.019 --> 01:07:05.699
a microphone while I'm sitting here with my mouth

01:07:05.699 --> 01:07:09.159
stuffed at the Talk is Keep studio in the Kansas

01:07:09.159 --> 01:07:18.000
City area. I love it. I love that introduction.

01:07:18.719 --> 01:07:21.940
And this is Rob from the beautiful night warm

01:07:21.940 --> 01:07:24.760
of Lake of the Ozarks at the Doug Black studio.

01:07:25.039 --> 01:07:28.639
Whack, whack, more now. Rob, have you ever had

01:07:28.639 --> 01:07:33.010
Grozo's salad dressing? Just the regular? Oh

01:07:33.010 --> 01:07:35.670
my God, it is heavenly. And that's what I had

01:07:35.670 --> 01:07:37.329
on my sandwich. You're eating it now, right?

01:07:37.969 --> 01:07:40.230
Yes, and that's how come my mouth was stuck when

01:07:40.230 --> 01:07:42.469
I had to come back on. It's because that shit's

01:07:42.469 --> 01:07:45.130
so good, I couldn't stop. I'm like, okay, one

01:07:45.130 --> 01:07:47.550
more bite. Okay, one more. Oh, no, no, one more.

01:07:48.630 --> 01:07:53.510
I know Garazza's a big name. I need to try it.

01:07:53.570 --> 01:07:55.829
I need to try it. Oh, you haven't? Oh my God,

01:07:55.889 --> 01:07:58.090
when you come up... I need to do that better,

01:07:58.250 --> 01:08:05.980
yeah. I know. Well, we know we've got to go to

01:08:05.980 --> 01:08:09.059
Justin James for old -time shows. I'll gain 30

01:08:09.059 --> 01:08:13.619
pounds. It's easy to up here. Kansas City has

01:08:13.619 --> 01:08:15.619
great food. I don't know how well it's known

01:08:15.619 --> 01:08:17.979
around the country or world, but Kansas City

01:08:17.979 --> 01:08:20.479
has excellent choice of restaurants and food.

01:08:20.600 --> 01:09:23.739
Yes. So, anyhow. Rob, go ahead. sinus infection.

01:09:24.680 --> 01:09:30.840
Mm -hmm. Um, sinus infections can be very, very

01:09:30.840 --> 01:09:36.520
bad, too. I mean, you can lose your equilibrium,

01:09:36.600 --> 01:09:41.340
um, you know, to where you're dizzy. Yeah. Nausea,

01:09:41.340 --> 01:09:45.239
vomiting, headaches, everything. Yeah. So he's

01:09:45.239 --> 01:09:48.619
doing well? Go ahead. Well, he's very much on

01:09:48.619 --> 01:09:57.060
the net. It's awesome to be surrounded by guys

01:09:57.060 --> 01:10:00.899
who practice what they preach. Full story will

01:10:00.899 --> 01:10:07.319
drop on the Duck Call Room soon. Cool. Which

01:10:07.319 --> 01:10:13.960
the Duck Call Room is their podcast. Oh, okay.

01:10:14.000 --> 01:10:17.960
I didn't know that. Yes. I just found that out

01:10:17.960 --> 01:10:21.520
today myself. Okay. So they're going to make

01:10:21.520 --> 01:10:23.600
an announcement on the podcast is what they're

01:10:23.600 --> 01:10:26.960
saying? Yeah, and he's doing all right. Good.

01:10:27.100 --> 01:10:29.859
I'm glad he's doing well. Good. Get better, Uncle.

01:10:30.239 --> 01:10:37.739
Come on, Unc. Cool. Thank you, Rob. Walmart,

01:10:37.899 --> 01:10:39.960
I talked about them earlier and I'm going to

01:10:39.960 --> 01:10:44.520
talk about them again. They permanently removed

01:10:44.520 --> 01:10:50.920
self -checkout machines from key locations. Walmart

01:10:50.920 --> 01:10:58.779
has shocked the retail industry by permanently

01:10:58.779 --> 01:11:01.000
removing all self -checkout machines from multiple

01:11:01.000 --> 01:11:04.500
store locations across the United States. Stores

01:11:04.500 --> 01:11:08.220
in St. Louis, Missouri, Cleveland, Ohio, and

01:11:08.220 --> 01:11:13.060
Shrewsbury, wherever Shrewsbury is. Missouri

01:11:13.060 --> 01:11:18.050
has a... completely scrapped their self -checkout

01:11:18.050 --> 01:11:20.729
systems in favor of traditional cashier -operated

01:11:20.729 --> 01:11:26.750
lanes. It hasn't hit here yet, because they still

01:11:26.750 --> 01:11:28.409
have the self -checkouts, but they're probably

01:11:28.409 --> 01:11:31.710
working on it, I bet. This dramatic shift represents

01:11:31.710 --> 01:11:33.649
one of the most significant retail technology

01:11:33.649 --> 01:11:37.069
reversals in recent years, especially considering

01:11:37.069 --> 01:11:39.649
Walmart's previous investment in automated checkout

01:11:39.649 --> 01:11:43.369
systems. The move has left customers and industry...

01:11:44.050 --> 01:11:45.989
Experts questioning whether this signals the

01:11:45.989 --> 01:11:48.789
end of the self -checkout era for America's largest

01:11:48.789 --> 01:11:52.810
retailer. Okay. There's a couple of different

01:11:52.810 --> 01:11:56.090
things. All right. The demographic of Walmart

01:11:56.090 --> 01:11:59.569
is an older, right? Older people go there generally?

01:12:01.890 --> 01:12:07.350
Would you say? Yes. Yes. Okay. Well, okay. Here's

01:12:07.350 --> 01:12:08.869
one of the things going on because I've read

01:12:08.869 --> 01:12:26.439
on this for quite a while. Older people. You

01:12:26.439 --> 01:12:42.579
did a story about that a little bit. And also,

01:12:42.699 --> 01:12:49.500
people steal you blind. It's not a club. No one

01:12:49.500 --> 01:12:51.760
has the right to go over your receipt and look

01:12:51.760 --> 01:12:54.060
in your bag, as I've been demonstrating with

01:12:54.060 --> 01:12:56.079
what I've been telling you, you know, the stories

01:12:56.079 --> 01:12:57.960
I've been telling you about the Walmart up here,

01:12:58.060 --> 01:13:00.819
and how you don't have to, and I know this. And

01:13:00.819 --> 01:13:04.619
then they go, well, you know, they want you to

01:13:04.619 --> 01:13:08.460
email the receipt, they want to email the receipt

01:13:08.460 --> 01:13:12.329
or text it to you. Well, I had them text it to

01:13:12.329 --> 01:13:14.829
me at the one in Kansas, and guess what? I never

01:13:14.829 --> 01:13:18.149
got it. So if they would have checked my stuff

01:13:18.149 --> 01:13:21.369
on the way out, I would have had to go to customer

01:13:21.369 --> 01:13:23.510
service and spend 40 minutes having them look

01:13:23.510 --> 01:13:29.050
up my receipt. Right. Yeah, so anyhow, they can't

01:13:29.050 --> 01:13:31.329
make you download an app. They can't make you

01:13:31.329 --> 01:13:33.130
sit there and go through your bags. They can't

01:13:33.130 --> 01:13:36.029
look through your receipt. So, you know, I mean,

01:13:36.050 --> 01:13:38.649
if they want to quit getting ripped off and they

01:13:38.649 --> 01:13:42.239
want to, ensure that elderly people still want

01:13:42.239 --> 01:13:44.819
to go there as much as they did, I think the

01:13:44.819 --> 01:13:47.579
only answer is to get rid of them, the self -checkout,

01:13:47.600 --> 01:13:51.600
or scale them way back. Have just two of them,

01:13:51.619 --> 01:13:55.039
and then have more cashiers. That way, if someone

01:13:55.039 --> 01:13:57.420
doesn't want to participate in that, they don't

01:13:57.420 --> 01:13:59.899
have to, they can go to a cashier because there's

01:13:59.899 --> 01:14:04.260
plenty of them available. But I think Costco

01:14:04.260 --> 01:14:06.800
has this one dead on. What they've been doing...

01:14:07.340 --> 01:14:09.439
or at least the one I go to, is they have an

01:14:09.439 --> 01:14:13.020
employee with a tablet that is equipped with

01:14:13.020 --> 01:14:15.579
a scanner. The employee works ahead in the line

01:14:15.579 --> 01:14:17.779
where the people are waiting and scans their

01:14:17.779 --> 01:14:20.140
merch right there. Then you just go up there

01:14:20.140 --> 01:14:22.840
to check out on the machine. You hit your card

01:14:22.840 --> 01:14:24.819
and all your merch pops up that they scanned.

01:14:25.100 --> 01:14:29.220
Then you just pay the total and leave. You see,

01:14:29.239 --> 01:14:31.140
so you got everything. You got a person greeting

01:14:31.140 --> 01:14:33.600
you and talking to you. You get to go through

01:14:33.600 --> 01:14:36.199
self -checkout, so you're still in control if

01:14:36.199 --> 01:14:39.079
that's what the deal is. And also, no one can

01:14:39.079 --> 01:14:41.439
rip you off because your employee just scanned

01:14:41.439 --> 01:14:46.199
everything in that cart. So I think that's a

01:14:46.199 --> 01:14:48.880
great idea. And I think if Walmart was smart

01:14:48.880 --> 01:14:51.420
enough, they would do that too. But I don't know

01:14:51.420 --> 01:14:55.199
if they would do that. Because from what I could

01:14:55.199 --> 01:14:57.239
tell, they have no indication that they're going

01:14:57.239 --> 01:15:00.689
to do that. All right, that's all I got on that.

01:15:01.210 --> 01:15:04.829
So, Rob, you got something? Yeah, I do. All right,

01:15:04.850 --> 01:15:10.510
good. Sorrel Book is best remembered as Boss

01:15:10.510 --> 01:15:15.789
Hogg from the Dukes of Hazzard. Yep. But his

01:15:15.789 --> 01:15:31.029
life went far beyond that. he was far more than

01:15:31.029 --> 01:15:34.510
a white -suited cigar -chomping schemer he played

01:15:34.510 --> 01:15:40.189
on TV. Born in Buffalo, New York in 1930, Book

01:15:40.189 --> 01:15:44.930
showed early promise as a student and as a performer.

01:15:46.409 --> 01:15:49.630
He went to Columbia University before moving

01:15:49.630 --> 01:15:53.970
on to Yale, where he got his Master's in Fine

01:15:53.970 --> 01:15:58.329
Arts. His self -discipline and zest for performance

01:15:58.329 --> 01:16:32.170
set him Uh -huh. Yeah. sourcefulness and commitment

01:16:32.170 --> 01:16:36.170
to his country traits far removed from those

01:16:36.170 --> 01:16:40.250
associated with the buffoonish boss hog. You

01:16:40.250 --> 01:16:42.710
would never guess it by the character he plays.

01:16:43.390 --> 01:16:48.890
Seriously. That's why I found this so interesting.

01:16:49.569 --> 01:16:51.890
I actually knew this because I believe it's in

01:16:51.890 --> 01:16:59.670
John Snyder or Tom Wopat's book. Yeah, I want

01:16:59.670 --> 01:17:03.069
to say John Snyder, but it could have been Tom

01:17:03.069 --> 01:17:06.529
Wopat. But in one of those books, it actually

01:17:06.529 --> 01:17:09.590
goes into that, about what a special guy he is

01:17:09.590 --> 01:17:12.850
and nobody knew. And everyone just thought he

01:17:12.850 --> 01:17:15.569
was just some fat guy that played, you know,

01:17:15.569 --> 01:17:20.390
Boss Hogg. No, he was a smart dude. He was an

01:17:20.390 --> 01:17:23.350
extraordinary human being. He did a lot of feats

01:17:23.350 --> 01:17:26.899
most people would not even dream of doing. So,

01:17:26.899 --> 01:17:31.000
God bless him. Digging deeper. Oh, sorry. Go

01:17:31.000 --> 01:17:35.699
ahead. Book was fluent in at least five languages,

01:17:36.119 --> 01:17:41.800
including Russian, Japanese, Korean, French,

01:17:41.920 --> 01:17:49.779
and Spanish. Shit. His linguistic prowess wasn't

01:17:49.779 --> 01:17:54.060
from idle academic interest either. He applied

01:17:54.060 --> 01:17:57.069
his skills during his intelligence. service and

01:17:57.069 --> 01:18:35.409
later used it. satisfaction in breathing new

01:18:35.409 --> 01:18:41.890
life into forlorn and neglected spaces. It was

01:18:41.890 --> 01:18:46.409
a hobby that also mirrored his acting career.

01:18:46.789 --> 01:18:52.029
The talent to take small or forgotten roles and

01:18:52.029 --> 01:19:18.229
make them shine was a figure. Wow. I knew some

01:19:18.229 --> 01:19:21.270
of that. If I knew all of it, I'd forgotten all

01:19:21.270 --> 01:19:23.750
of it. But I knew some of that because, like

01:19:23.750 --> 01:19:26.649
I said, I think it's in John Snyder's book. It

01:19:26.649 --> 01:19:28.390
could have been Tom Wopat, but it's one of the

01:19:28.390 --> 01:19:31.510
two Duke boys. They both wrote a book. I would

01:19:31.510 --> 01:19:34.489
guess John Snyder. I think it was. I tend to

01:19:34.489 --> 01:19:36.449
think it was John Snyder. But he had some of

01:19:36.449 --> 01:19:37.890
that in there. I don't know if he had it all

01:19:37.890 --> 01:19:40.670
or if I'd just forgotten some of it. But you

01:19:40.670 --> 01:19:43.369
talk about a well -rounded, geez, what a... a

01:19:43.369 --> 01:19:45.850
go -getter. I felt like a slacker just hearing

01:19:45.850 --> 01:19:48.630
you read that stuff off of him. Jeez. It's like,

01:19:48.630 --> 01:19:51.750
I thought I'd done a couple of things. I don't

01:19:51.750 --> 01:19:55.630
think so. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he was one of

01:19:55.630 --> 01:19:58.649
the biggest slackers that we grew up with, you

01:19:58.649 --> 01:20:02.350
know? Yeah. But he wasn't. He was not. That's

01:20:02.350 --> 01:20:04.789
great acting. That's a great character right

01:20:04.789 --> 01:20:07.470
there, you know? Yes. Someone that has that much

01:20:07.470 --> 01:20:09.930
going on, that much intelligence, that much oomph,

01:20:09.970 --> 01:20:12.810
that much pizzazz, but can act like that and,

01:20:13.149 --> 01:20:16.869
do it convincingly, that's a whole talent in

01:20:16.869 --> 01:20:21.590
itself. Yeah. Because acting is not easy. I don't

01:20:21.590 --> 01:20:23.630
know. I think a lot of people think you just

01:20:23.630 --> 01:20:26.329
go in there and go, you read your lines and all

01:20:26.329 --> 01:20:29.789
that. It's not easy, you know? No, no. I mean,

01:20:29.850 --> 01:20:32.609
I always like to make it easy. And then his biggest

01:20:32.609 --> 01:20:39.010
role was playing a dummy. Yeah. But he was that

01:20:39.010 --> 01:20:41.789
smart. But he was that good at it. He was very

01:20:41.789 --> 01:20:45.430
convincing. I remember I was like reading some

01:20:45.430 --> 01:20:48.170
stuff on James Gandolfini, you know, his Tony

01:20:48.170 --> 01:20:51.850
Soprano. And whenever, you know, he was such

01:20:51.850 --> 01:20:54.369
good friends with Janice, his sister, you know,

01:20:54.369 --> 01:20:57.649
on the program, I forgot her name, that it was

01:20:57.649 --> 01:21:00.109
really hard to get mad at her. But he was mad

01:21:00.109 --> 01:21:02.170
at her all the time, according to the show, right?

01:21:02.270 --> 01:21:05.710
He always had something wrong. And so what he'd

01:21:05.710 --> 01:21:08.649
do is he'd put rocks in his shoes. And every

01:21:08.649 --> 01:21:11.170
time he did a scene with her, He will walk up

01:21:11.170 --> 01:21:14.270
to her, and you imagine walking with rocks in

01:21:14.270 --> 01:21:17.390
your shoes how mad you would be? Oh, my God.

01:21:17.670 --> 01:21:20.329
It worked. Every time he went up there to talk

01:21:20.329 --> 01:21:23.050
to Janice on the show, he was madder than hell

01:21:23.050 --> 01:21:27.689
because he had rocks in his shoes. To me, that's

01:21:27.689 --> 01:21:29.630
genius. I don't know if anyone else thinks that's

01:21:29.630 --> 01:21:34.250
genius, but I do. I do, too. It is. It's like,

01:21:34.289 --> 01:21:36.930
man, I like this person too much to really act

01:21:36.930 --> 01:21:40.260
too mad at him. Can't really do it. So I've got

01:21:40.260 --> 01:21:43.859
to get mad somehow. Hey, I know how. I'll put

01:21:43.859 --> 01:21:48.199
rocks in my shoes. Take it upon yourself. Either

01:21:48.199 --> 01:21:50.840
that or, I mean, you know, he could drink a bunch

01:21:50.840 --> 01:21:53.600
of beer and then run around in, like, really

01:21:53.600 --> 01:21:56.340
tight Levi's, okay? And then he gets chafed.

01:21:56.340 --> 01:21:58.779
Yeah, he could be a dumbass. And then he gets

01:21:58.779 --> 01:22:02.539
chafed, and then you're really angry. Getting

01:22:02.539 --> 01:22:05.020
chafed is a different type of angry, isn't it?

01:22:15.840 --> 01:22:19.579
Yes. And, yeah, chafing. And chafing. And chafing.

01:22:19.579 --> 01:22:25.699
And chafing. Yeah. Oh, gosh. I'm glad I don't

01:22:25.699 --> 01:22:27.699
work in that type of environment anymore, like

01:22:27.699 --> 01:22:31.039
at all these job sites and stuff, where chafing

01:22:31.039 --> 01:22:35.340
is a definite possibility because, yeah, chafing

01:22:35.340 --> 01:22:38.020
is not fun. If I ever, you know, really wanted

01:22:38.020 --> 01:22:40.220
to wish hell on somebody, I wish they would be

01:22:40.220 --> 01:22:48.460
chafed every day. Oh, my God. People go bond

01:22:48.460 --> 01:22:52.119
themselves, fucking power themselves up, pat

01:22:52.119 --> 01:22:55.199
themselves down, but it still gets you. It still

01:22:55.199 --> 01:22:57.020
gets you. It doesn't matter how much maintenance

01:22:57.020 --> 01:22:59.579
you do during the day. It still finds you, and

01:22:59.579 --> 01:23:03.460
it gets you. It's horrible. Swamp days. It's

01:23:03.460 --> 01:23:07.319
funny. I used to walk into the bathroom at work

01:23:07.319 --> 01:23:11.319
and see baby powder laying on the floor. Yes,

01:23:11.319 --> 01:23:16.710
and that's because someone was shaking. And now

01:23:16.710 --> 01:23:19.189
it's not there no more. So that person ain't

01:23:19.189 --> 01:23:22.289
there no more. You know what's funny is that

01:23:22.289 --> 01:23:25.930
was the same at places I worked too. Every industrial

01:23:25.930 --> 01:23:28.710
place that I worked at in the shop, you go into

01:23:28.710 --> 01:23:31.289
the bathroom during summer, really hot days,

01:23:31.529 --> 01:23:34.189
you would always see baby powder or gold bond

01:23:34.189 --> 01:23:36.689
laying on the floor because somebody was like

01:23:36.689 --> 01:23:39.369
so miserable they ran in there and fucking caked

01:23:39.369 --> 01:23:43.680
their inner legs with fucking that powder. It's

01:23:43.680 --> 01:23:47.039
terrible. So I would say that that's hell right

01:23:47.039 --> 01:23:49.359
there. You walk around chafed all day and there's

01:23:49.359 --> 01:23:51.300
nothing you can do about it. No gold bond, no

01:23:51.300 --> 01:23:54.119
powder, nothing. You just have to walk around

01:23:54.119 --> 01:23:59.460
and chafe and hurt like hell. So that's the only

01:23:59.460 --> 01:24:01.420
other thing besides rocks in the shoes, I think,

01:24:01.439 --> 01:24:03.960
that make you mad. Yeah. Just napping, pissed

01:24:03.960 --> 01:24:09.119
off, mad, chafing. Yeah. All right. It's 920.

01:24:09.140 --> 01:24:10.880
Do you want to keep going or do you want to end

01:24:10.880 --> 01:24:12.859
this? You're the one that's got to get up early.

01:24:12.899 --> 01:24:15.279
I'm done. Yeah, I'm about done for tonight, brother.

01:24:15.399 --> 01:24:20.720
All right, brother. Thank you. Let's say our

01:24:20.720 --> 01:24:26.619
hellos. Yep. Oh, yeah, yeah. Hello to Hicksville,

01:24:26.800 --> 01:24:32.640
Albuquerque, Grandma Opal. Grandma Opal, Jimmy,

01:24:33.000 --> 01:24:37.039
Ricky. She got out of rehab. Grandma Opal. Oh,

01:24:37.039 --> 01:24:41.680
good. She's back at home. Yes. So, Grandma Opal,

01:24:41.699 --> 01:24:47.779
we love you. Keep doing well. We love you listening

01:24:47.779 --> 01:24:49.960
to the show. We love the fact that you love the

01:24:49.960 --> 01:24:52.279
show, and we love you being there. So, thank

01:24:52.279 --> 01:24:55.560
you. And Ricky and Jimmy and everybody, thank

01:24:55.560 --> 01:24:59.159
you. And I was going to say something right before

01:24:59.159 --> 01:25:02.060
that, but I can't remember. To be honest, seriously,

01:25:03.199 --> 01:25:07.109
I would like to have a meet. I really would.

01:25:07.149 --> 01:25:09.210
We actually talked about it, remember? I might

01:25:09.210 --> 01:25:12.630
line that up. I might line that up. Okay, yeah,

01:25:12.670 --> 01:25:15.050
send them a message or something. Yeah, definitely.

01:25:15.930 --> 01:25:18.130
Yeah, I would love to meet with them, too. I

01:25:18.130 --> 01:25:20.510
mean, they are wonderful people, and they support

01:25:20.510 --> 01:25:22.810
each other. I'm guessing we would have to go

01:25:22.810 --> 01:25:25.210
there, but that's fine. Well, that's already

01:25:25.210 --> 01:25:27.949
been discussed, because she can't go that far.

01:25:28.409 --> 01:25:31.409
Yeah, she can't travel. Yeah, so we will go there.

01:25:31.710 --> 01:25:35.380
Oh, I don't... I don't think it ever gave you

01:25:35.380 --> 01:25:38.960
my idea, though. Okay, on the way to Dodge City,

01:25:39.060 --> 01:25:42.760
there's a chicken house. Okay? Yeah, no, it's

01:25:42.760 --> 01:25:44.520
really good. No, it's a place to eat chicken.

01:25:44.560 --> 01:25:47.420
They call it a chicken house. It's called HG

01:25:47.420 --> 01:25:50.979
or LH or something like that, chicken house.

01:25:51.819 --> 01:25:54.239
And they have really good fried chicken there

01:25:54.239 --> 01:25:58.180
and homemade rolls and just really good food,

01:25:58.199 --> 01:26:00.539
right? It's out in the middle of nowhere, and

01:26:00.539 --> 01:26:02.479
it's on the way to Dodge City where they live.

01:26:09.210 --> 01:26:12.329
Yeah, Frontenac or... Or Chicken Annie's. Or

01:26:12.329 --> 01:26:15.989
Chicken Mary's. Yeah, Chicken Annie's or Chicken

01:26:15.989 --> 01:26:17.869
Mary's. Yeah, we can have that. Now, there's

01:26:17.869 --> 01:26:19.329
a slight difference... Hey, you're not meeting

01:26:19.329 --> 01:26:22.430
me for chicken, Alan. I got fucking tacos. Oh,

01:26:22.430 --> 01:26:25.569
tacos are good, too. Now, if anyone doesn't know,

01:26:25.630 --> 01:26:26.890
there's two... Oh, that's my dinner tonight.

01:26:27.649 --> 01:26:30.189
There's actually three or four chicken places

01:26:30.189 --> 01:26:33.609
down in Pittsburgh, Kansas and Frontenac, Kansas,

01:26:33.729 --> 01:26:35.729
which is kind of like a suburb of Pittsburgh.

01:26:36.090 --> 01:26:38.289
You have Chicken Annie's and Chicken Mary's.

01:26:38.740 --> 01:26:40.960
And do you know the story how they started, Rob?

01:26:41.560 --> 01:26:44.359
Yes, yes, I do. Yeah, they had miners down there

01:26:44.359 --> 01:26:46.819
that were, when they stripped mine and they're

01:26:46.819 --> 01:26:48.779
in there mining and they had nowhere to eat.

01:26:49.079 --> 01:26:52.899
And somebody that knew Chicken Annie went to

01:26:52.899 --> 01:26:55.460
her and said, hey, you know, if I pay, I don't

01:26:55.460 --> 01:26:57.659
have any way to cook anything. You know, we're

01:26:57.659 --> 01:26:59.739
in this lousy little hotel room. We don't have

01:26:59.739 --> 01:27:02.319
any amenities at all. There's no restaurants.

01:27:02.439 --> 01:27:04.600
You know, we really don't, I don't have anything

01:27:04.600 --> 01:27:06.520
I can eat, you know, besides like, I don't know.

01:27:07.310 --> 01:27:10.710
sandwich food or whatever. So everyone knew about

01:27:10.710 --> 01:27:12.770
her chicken, Chicken Annie's, it's famous around

01:27:12.770 --> 01:27:14.810
there, but she never did make it, you know, she

01:27:14.810 --> 01:27:18.090
never did sell it. So this miner talked her into

01:27:18.090 --> 01:27:20.909
paying her so much a week to have her make his

01:27:20.909 --> 01:27:23.210
chicken, and he would go up there every day,

01:27:23.270 --> 01:27:25.470
which wasn't very far from the Mendel Mines,

01:27:25.470 --> 01:27:27.210
I believe is what it was, where they're doing

01:27:27.210 --> 01:27:29.510
the mining, or just north of there. Yeah, yeah,

01:27:29.590 --> 01:27:32.909
Mendel Mines, yeah. Yeah, so he would go up to

01:27:32.909 --> 01:27:35.189
Chicken Annie's house, get the chicken, bring

01:27:35.189 --> 01:27:38.010
it back to the... the work site. And everyone's

01:27:38.010 --> 01:27:40.630
like, the hell? How'd you get that? And he's

01:27:40.630 --> 01:27:43.949
like, Annie. Who's Annie? She's up the road.

01:27:44.829 --> 01:27:48.210
Okay. Well, how'd she give you chicken? I pay

01:27:48.210 --> 01:27:51.710
her. So all the other ones went up there. And

01:27:51.710 --> 01:27:53.590
they're like, hey. And they're like, I don't

01:27:53.590 --> 01:27:57.489
know, 50 of them or so. So she started making

01:27:57.489 --> 01:27:59.869
them all chicken. Then pretty soon, she moved

01:27:59.869 --> 01:28:02.930
out of her farmhouse and built another house.

01:28:03.500 --> 01:28:06.399
And that farmhouse is now Chicken Annie's, and

01:28:06.399 --> 01:28:09.399
Chicken Mary's, her cousin, popped up right beside

01:28:09.399 --> 01:28:11.359
it a few years later. That's what I was going

01:28:11.359 --> 01:28:15.300
to add. Chicken Mary is her cousin. Yes. I was

01:28:15.300 --> 01:28:17.920
going to add that, yeah. Yeah. So you have Chicken

01:28:17.920 --> 01:28:19.920
Annie's, Chicken Mary, and it's literally on

01:28:19.920 --> 01:28:21.859
a gravel road just past the railroad tracks.

01:28:22.060 --> 01:28:25.279
About three miles. That's the best chicken you

01:28:25.279 --> 01:28:28.399
could ever get. Oh, it's amazing stuff. And then

01:28:28.399 --> 01:28:30.640
they have the homemade rolls and the green beans.

01:28:30.859 --> 01:28:33.239
Have you had the green beans? Yes. Oh, my gosh,

01:28:33.279 --> 01:28:36.500
man. There's like pieces of bacon and onion.

01:28:36.600 --> 01:28:39.340
Oh, it's seasoned with black pepper. Oh, my God.

01:28:39.539 --> 01:28:42.199
Oh, they're so good. Oh, you're talking about

01:28:42.199 --> 01:28:45.579
it. Good food. Yep. And also, they're great people.

01:28:45.699 --> 01:28:47.819
Every time you go in there, they're nice and

01:28:47.819 --> 01:28:51.079
friendly. I think they give veterans food. You

01:28:51.079 --> 01:28:52.579
know, if you're a veteran, you go in there and

01:28:52.579 --> 01:28:55.060
go, hey, here's my ID. And they're like, yep.

01:28:55.180 --> 01:28:57.340
Yeah. I think you get a discount. Yeah, free

01:28:57.340 --> 01:29:02.159
food. Oh, okay. No, no. It's a discount there.

01:29:03.039 --> 01:29:04.779
Lambert's is the one that gives veterans free

01:29:04.779 --> 01:29:10.199
food. And also people that are disabled. I've

01:29:10.199 --> 01:29:12.960
seen them do that myself. And there's a lady

01:29:12.960 --> 01:29:15.779
in a wheelchair not doing too good. And the guy

01:29:15.779 --> 01:29:17.739
went up there. I guess he's a manager or something.

01:29:17.880 --> 01:29:21.300
He goes, you know, we know you're going through

01:29:21.300 --> 01:29:23.800
a lot, so we'd like to offer you this meal for

01:29:23.800 --> 01:29:27.020
free. And I was just like, wow, that's fucking

01:29:27.020 --> 01:29:31.920
cool. Lambert's is pretty cool, too. That's down

01:29:31.920 --> 01:29:39.319
in... Ozark? Ozark, yes. Ozark, Missouri. Just

01:29:39.319 --> 01:29:44.680
south of Springfield. Yep, on 65 Highway. Yep.

01:29:45.119 --> 01:29:47.619
The throat rolls are amazing because they always

01:29:47.619 --> 01:29:49.659
get some kid that can hit you right between the

01:29:49.659 --> 01:29:52.560
eyes. You better be ready to catch that damn

01:29:52.560 --> 01:29:54.500
roll if they're throwing it at you. I love it.

01:29:54.590 --> 01:29:57.350
Oh, people get beamed all the time in the head.

01:29:57.430 --> 01:29:59.529
They don't care. It doesn't hurt, but it's funny.

01:29:59.989 --> 01:30:03.489
So, anyhow, we're supposed to do that. I've seen

01:30:03.489 --> 01:30:07.069
people throw rolls back at him. Oh, I have, too.

01:30:07.449 --> 01:30:14.710
I have, too. It used to be like a beach ball

01:30:14.710 --> 01:30:18.920
game going. I know. Then he'll throw it back,

01:30:19.060 --> 01:30:20.399
and then they'll throw it back to him, and pretty

01:30:20.399 --> 01:30:22.779
soon someone else gets involved. And pretty much

01:30:22.779 --> 01:30:24.899
it's like fucking roll volleyball by the time

01:30:24.899 --> 01:30:29.539
you get done. Yeah, yeah. So, all right. It's

01:30:29.539 --> 01:30:32.600
like a beach ball at a concert. Yeah, everyone's

01:30:32.600 --> 01:30:37.539
like batting it up in the air. And it's a huge

01:30:37.539 --> 01:30:39.880
restaurant, too. The place is freaking huge.

01:30:41.119 --> 01:30:45.100
Awesome food. Awesome food. Oh, great food. Great.

01:30:45.140 --> 01:30:50.329
Oh, my God. Why don't we eat food? Well, I used

01:30:50.329 --> 01:30:53.409
to be a food critic. I need to strike that back

01:30:53.409 --> 01:30:56.890
up. I think now I can call myself like the foodie

01:30:56.890 --> 01:30:59.729
duty or something like that. I don't know. I'll

01:30:59.729 --> 01:31:05.890
come up with another catchy name. Well, someone

01:31:05.890 --> 01:31:10.130
took the food, dude. They used to be mine. The

01:31:10.130 --> 01:31:16.430
foodie duty. Oh, no. Looks like the show's over,

01:31:16.550 --> 01:31:19.909
kids. Mark has explosive diarrhea and can't afford

01:31:19.909 --> 01:31:23.289
a wireless mic. Fear not, assholes. They'll be

01:31:23.289 --> 01:31:25.029
back invading your ear holes soon.