We'll be right back. Welcome, snot rags. It's
time for the Daily Douchebag Pledge. Say it with
me and make everyone near you say it, too. I,
Joe or Jane Listener, hereby promise to listen
to every show. I, Joe or Jane Listener, hereby
promise to download all the shows. I, Joe or
Jane Listener, hereby promise to go to public
computers, friends' computers, Androids, iPhones,
and business computers, and all in between, and
download the show from there. I, Joe or Jane
Listener, will make all my friends and family
members listen. And finally, I, Joe or Jane Listener,
hereby promise to lie to everyone about how good
the show is. And don't forget about the selfie
you're going to take in front of the Knoblick,
Missouri sign. There you go, shitbags. That wasn't
so bad now, was it? Here at Two Douchebags and
a Microphone, we don't stand behind our journalistic
integrity. Go ahead and assume we got the story
wrong. At least we admit it. Not like all those
other guys, we can and will lie if it makes the
story better. Two douchebags and a microphone.
Your mama's so fat, she uses Google Earth to
take a selfie. Hey there, slapmets. It's time
for the Creeps Music Meetings. Hey, my little
pumpkin seeds. This is Johnny Rohypnol with your
music news. During an appearance on July 8th
episode of SiriusXM's Trunk Nation, Tony Omi
spoke about some of his upcoming music -related
projects, including a full -length collection
of new material from legendary Black Sabbath
guitarist. Tony said, as transcribed by Blabbermouth
.net, Well, at the moment, I was doing my own
album until Back to the Beginning event came
up, and then of course I had to stop and concentrate
on preparing for the Sabbath performance. But
I'm continuing next week to try to finish off
what I started with this album. And then who
knows what I'm going to do. It's great, really.
Because if something pops up, I'll do it if I
want to do it. Asked if his upcoming album is
a Tony Omi solo record with guests on it, like
he's done before with the legendary 2000s IOMI,
the guitarist responded, at the moment, no. I've
got one singer on it, which I originally thought
of different singers, but it started off as it
was going to be an instrumental album, and it's
gone from that into a full -fledged Tony Iommi
project. But then I thought, oh, wait, I want
to try it with a singer. So that's what I've
been doing. This is Johnny Rohypnol. That was
your music news. And remember, bar chords are
bullshit. Watch the news. It looks grim. Is an
apocalypse inevitable? We suggest you download
all our podcasts beforehand and have multiple
mobile chargers. We have the post -apocalypse.
Okay, so you have your bunker set. And what do
you do inside this bunker to give you the readiness
if an apocalypse occurs? Here are some products
you will probably use. Zip ties, duct tape, fishing
line, a needle and thread, matches or a lighter,
scissors, safety pins, super glue, bungee cords,
parachute cord, sugar, salt, pepper, garlic,
and chicken and beef bouillon cubes. Crusty's
instant pancake mix, Jiffy muffin mix, or Bisquick,
or all the above. Powdered milk, cocoa, instant
coffee, or other dry beverage mixes. canned meats
like tuna, chicken, salmon, and sardines, canned
and dry soup like Lipton and Knorr noodle packages,
nuts, peanut butter, jelly or honey, breakfast
bars, cereals, packaged oatmeal, low salt crackers,
Ritz crackers, ram crackers, or animal cookies,
canned and dry vegetable and fruit, and this
should get you started. Hey, good kid, no one
gives an ounce of shit what you had for breakfast,
not even the person on the other end. You look
like a mentally slow driv yelling into thin air
all through the store. I pray that Bluetooth
shorts out and blows up your eardrums. What men
consider self -centered dunce. Monty constantly
coddled this dummy and it fucking shows. Go look
back home and bore your dog. Wait, you probably
forgot the thieving because you're too busy looking
in the mirror all day. Fuck off. To douchebags
and microphone, I'm Mark here in the Kansas City
vicinity at the Talk is Cheap studio. And I am
Rob at the beautiful nine -wall arm of the Lake
of the Ozarks at the Duck Blind studio. For now.
You didn't do that. For now. Well, yeah, for
now. I'm still here. Yeah, but for now, he's
at the Duck Blind studio. They're in Camden,
but the Duck Blind studio will, a little bit
later, be in Wheatland, Missouri, next to the
Lucas Oil track, right? Yes. Yeah. Like three
blocks. Yep. So what Rob's going to do is he's
going to open up the window and record when a
race is going on. It's going to be awesome. Yeah.
Can you hear it from the house? I can. Awesome.
Cool. I may not even have to open the window.
It rattles the windows. Of course. That's cool.
You know, that's where I saw this fat girl, I
mean, or heavy girl, whatever is proper, overweight,
maybe 12 -year -old red -haired girl. They have
the slopes there that are just grass that you
can stand on or sit on, right, and watch the
race? Yeah. Okay. Well, she was doing somersaults
all the way down there for no apparent reason.
I've got it on video. I put it on Facebook. When
I find it, I'll repost it. But I wrote only in
Wheatland, Missouri when this happened, in Wheatland,
Missouri. It was the craziest thing, and she
did this several times. She went back up, rolled
down again, head over heels, head over heels,
head over heels. I'm going, what the hell? Why?
So, anyhow, I do remember that about Lucasfilm.
Go stop at the dirt track races. Oh, the dirt
track. Yeah, the dirt track was where you see
the good stuff. Oh, there's some characters.
There's some characters there. Well, anyhow,
it's hard to believe September is almost gone.
I'm ready for Halloween. I love the holiday.
We don't hardly get any trick -or -treaters around
here anymore. Do you have any swing by the apartment
at all? I know you don't. No. I turn my light
off. Oh, okay. I got you. I think last, I think,
yeah, and then I normally go out with my grandson,
too. Oh, yeah, that's true. You got to go help
the little one out, get some, go ring up some
candy. But, yeah, Princess is really big into
it. As a matter of fact, I spent $130 just yesterday
on Halloween, so. Oh, what, costumes, or? No,
no, just knickknacks. Oh, okay. I got some pumpkins
and everything. Decorations. And we got a couple
of mums, so we're kind of there. What were those
big skeletons that people buy? The huge ones,
the ones like eight or nine foot skeletons that
you can put together and sit in your... Oh, those
things are cool. Yeah. But right now, I got a
better place for $400 to go. So, what are these
days? So, you know, they have certain apartment
complexes that proclaim to be trick -or -treat
friendly. That's why I was wondering if yours
was like that, but you don't know because you
just shut the light off, right? Well, dad or
I'm not home. You're taking Junior Junior out,
right? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, okay. You know what's
weird, Rob? You don't hear about razor blades,
which is good, and apples and poison and candy,
which is also good. You think that maybe back
in the day it was overblown a bit to get us kids
to be careful? I think so. I think so, too. I
was wondering this because you never hear about
that stuff happening anymore, but it's crazier
nowadays than it was back then. I mean, there's
more violence, more people with guns. You'd think
there'd be more people, and I'm not asking for
this, and I don't want this, nothing like this
to happen. But it's kind of odd that all that
stuff, the poison, the razor blades and all that,
you don't hear about anymore. You know? So I'm
wondering if they didn't, like, maybe make some
of that shit up. Because, you know, I never really
seen it on the news. I didn't watch the news
when I was, like, seven or eight, right? But,
you know, parents are always like, be careful.
People put, crazy people put razor blades in
those apples. Some kid died, cut his throat open,
you know, and all this stuff. And I'm now thinking
it's just bullshit that they threw at us. So
we didn't eat all the candy at once. So we dissected
it, made sure it was okay, made sure someone
didn't stick it in their asshole before they
gave it to you. All that stuff, right? Yeah,
now there's a new one. What's the new one? Now
they're lacing all the candy with drugs. Oh,
fuck. Okay, I stand corrected. I stand corrected.
It just moved on to drugs. It might be the same
thing. It might be the same thing. Okay. I don't
know, because I don't hear many kids flipping
out. No, me neither. I mean, I've been trick
-or -treating many years, either myself or kids
or grandkids or somebody or nieces, nephews,
whatever. I've been around trick -or -treating
in one facet all my life, and I've never... seen
or heard of any incident where something like
that happened. I haven't either. The worst thing
that happened was we used to have these gang
of kids, older kids, around Cleveland, Missouri,
where I lived for quite a while. They used to
go around and smack you around and grab your
candy. That was the worst thing I'd ever heard
about it. And that did suck. Because when you
go back around and ask for candy again, they
go, weren't you here two hours ago? Yeah, but
the kids stole my candy. They don't believe you.
Oh, they don't. That's right, Tubby. Get on out
of here. I recognized you. Oh, fuck. But they
did steal my... No, get out of here. You don't
need any more. Look in the mirror, you little
fucker. So, anyhow. So, anyhow. I got a bullshit
alert. I'm not going to do I call bullshit on
this because it doesn't require it, but I got
a bullshit alert. Someone AI generated Alice
Cooper being on The View arguing with those cackling
hens. I smell bullshit from the start. Alice
Cooper rarely makes appearances, especially on
talk shows, and especially that one. I did some
checking, and sure enough, fake. You know, as
fake as a high -profile NFL football player's
wife getting a new set of jugs. But I will back
away from that really quickly. No names involved.
No names involved. Just speculation. You know,
I'm not dogging women getting a new set, but,
you know, I'm all for it. So, anyhow. But, anyhow,
the AI -generated Alice, fake. Google is 27 years
old, Rob. Is it really? 27 years old as of yesterday.
Good thing Google isn't a rock star. If you know,
you know. Right? If you know, you know. Look
it up. Google it. There you go. Google it. So,
like I told you earlier, I had a rare Sunday
off today. Perfect weather. Did a lot of barbecue
smoking today. The weather was perfect. We were
supposed to take it to some friends of ours.
One of the ladies is, you know, pretty bad off
with cancer. We all know how much longer she's
going to be around. You know, we love her to
death. But she wasn't up to it. So, anyhow, the
weather is perfect. It was great, and then we
went down to the city market, but I'll get to
a little bit more of that a little bit later.
But it was really, if I sound refreshed, just
because I didn't just get off work and fly straight
here and start the podcast. I actually had a
day off, and I had a day to relax and do things
I wanted to. So I got a question, Rob. Do you
listen to the last episode? I have not yet. Okay,
well, it's got a new perspective. I've been a
little busy. I will listen to it. Okay, that's
cool. I got a new douchebag pledge on that one.
I'm not happy with that one. I'm working on another
one with all the towns in Missouri with the word
knob in it. So not just knob lick. Knob rub,
I think, is one of them. Bald knob. Shell knob.
What's the other one? There's another one. Knob
noster. Knob noster, yeah. It's going to have
all the knob names in it. I think it's going
to be pretty cool. I got a pretty good idea of
what I'm going to write on it. So, anyhow. I
think it'll be perfect. I think so, too. So,
anyhow. So, anyhow, I have this thing called
trigger finger. It's kind of like carpal tunnel,
only it's in one of your fingers. It's the tendon
that goes from your finger to your palm. It gets
inflamed, and it won't allow your hand to close
all the way, and it's very painful at times.
Not all the time, but at times. So I found out
through my doctor that surgery isn't the only
option. They now can give you a shot to settle
down the tendon. So anyhow, Tuesday I'm going
to go have this done. She's going to shoot a
needle into the tendon into my finger. and try
to settle it down like that. So I'll have a full
report on how well it worked, because I just
didn't want to have another surgery. You know,
I've had so many, and I just don't want another
one at all. So, you know, I'm done with that
shit. So hopefully this needle works well, because
what they have to do is they have to cut your
finger open, and then cut that tendon in there
to allow your, I guess it's like your veins or
your... They have to, it's a band. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. I'm not describing this correctly.
It's a band that goes around your tendons in
the base of your finger where it starts going
on the palm. And what happens is, is the tendons
become swelled and enlarged and the band starts
to suffocate them, right? Kind of like a tourniquet,
right? Yeah. Okay. They have to go in there and
they have to cut that band. And then, you know,
your tendons get to move out and not hurt and
be, you know, and not be inflamed as bad. But
I'm hoping that the shot works. I'll let everybody
know if it works. Yeah, please do, because I
have a problem with one of my gloves. You work
with your hands your whole life. I guarantee
you. Yeah, it's down at the base at the last
knuckle. Yep, I'll let you know. Yeah, please
do. It's supposed to be a fairly easy shot, and
it's easy to maintain. It's not like you've got
to go in there, I don't know, 12 times a year.
I think it may be like a couple times a year
you go in and get a shot, and then you're good
for a while. At least while you're working. Maybe
when you're not working, it won't be as bad because
you're not using your hands all the time. Although
doing this podcast does not do me any favors
because I type out stuff all the time. It seems
like when I type out stuff, it really bothers
my fingers pretty bad anymore. So hopefully this
works out. So maybe I won't make so many typos
and say I'm wrong on here, right? Probably not.
I wouldn't count on that if I was anybody. The
Red Fest nerds are all over. Here it is at the
end of September and they are in packs with their
cute little elfineers and wench outfits and what
have you. The pirate silk shirts with the large
leather boots. They're all crazy kids and I love
it. Do you like the Red Fest stuff? I mean, I
don't go there anymore. Actually, I do kind of
get into it, but I don't I don't dress like an
elf or a pirate or nothing. No, but I do. They
were walking around the city market. I thought
it was pretty cool. And then some friends of
mine went yesterday, and I was like, you know,
I still dig that stuff. I think it's cool. I'll
go just to get a turkey leg. Oh, hell yeah. Nice,
braised by the fire turkey leg. Yes. Neanderthal
style, where they just have like a big fire pit.
and they're cooking the curds. Well, they used
to. I don't think they do it like that anymore.
But they used to cook the turkey legs over them
in a rotisserie -like thing, handmade, hand -cranked.
It was pretty cool. Yeah, it was cool. Yep. So,
anyhow, no turkey leg for me this year. Maybe
I'll go next year. I don't know. So, anyhow,
I got a letter of appreciation from Jackson County,
Missouri, for going to jury duty. Yeah, that's
cool. I get paid from work and a small check
for mileage, and it's like seven bucks a day
for your service. Tedious is a good word to describe
jury duty, but it was a free day, would pay off
work. The only problem was leaving downtown that
late in the afternoon. It's way too much traffic,
and it really sucked trying to get home because
there you are right in the middle of downtown,
and every artery you try to get to is clogged.
It's crazy. And then the parking space that I
had to go to, which is approximately just a little
bit under a mile away up a hill, wasn't the most
ideal place to go either. But, I mean, it was
the only one I could find because court didn't
start. We didn't have to be there until 8, and
a lot of people already had their parking spots
and everything. All right. But, anyhow, I noticed
something today, and I want to get with you on
this, Rob. Okay. When I was younger, I used to
go hunt down a price on something, right? You'd
get there, and you'd see it, and it was like,
I wonder how much those beans are. Or, I don't
know, a teddy bear. Let's say a teddy bear. You're
like, man, I love that teddy bear. And then you
go hunt down a price. You'll find somebody, right?
Today, Val and I, like I said, went to the city
market. I had a rare Sunday off, like I said.
We went to Dutch Flowers. This is one of the
coolest stores ever. They have all these unique,
usually handmade yard ornaments, giant metal
pigs, windmill yard ornaments, plus literally
thousands of all these unique handmade items.
A lot of them are from craftsmen in Mexico and
down south, maybe not Mexico, but southern U
.S. And I guess the guy who goes and gets them,
he goes in a truck, a rider truck, goes down
there and purchases things in bulk and then brings
them back there and sells them at a store, Dutch
Flowers. So I noticed something. I don't go hunt
down prices anymore, do you? I try. I want to
know what I'm spending. No, I just don't buy
it usually. If I don't know the price, I'm just
like, you know what, I don't care enough to go
find somebody, and I don't care enough to have
this. Okay, okay, depending on what it is. Whether
it's a need or a want. Yeah, if it's a need,
what I do now is I get it, and then if I think
it's too much at the register, I have them take
it off. That simple. And it's like this, and
I've said this to people that worked there before,
and I know they don't have anything to do with
it, probably not. Maybe a manager would be a
better place to start. But my punishment to you
guys. For me picking up something and not having
a price tag on it is you having to put it back
and you having to ring it up and then take it
off. So which is easier? Why don't you just price
it and then I won't be doing this? Then people
behind me won't be doing this because a lot of
people do it now. They just go up there and they
think it should be $7 and it's $10. They go,
take it off. I don't want it. Doesn't matter
what it is. So wouldn't it be smarter? for a
store to just go ahead and be proactive and make
sure everything has a price on it. Right. I mean,
I understand they could fall off or someone could
tear them off or something, but there's a lot
of places that just look like they don't bother
to put a price up. You know? Right. So, anyhow,
there you go. I ran into that yesterday. I did.
Oh, did you? Yeah. Did you hunt down the price
or did you just move on? Well, Princess finally
picked one up and it had the price on the bottom
of it. But all the rest of them, the price was
not on the rest of them. And there was like three
shelves of them. Okay, so did you take them up
there? And if it was the wrong price, you're
going to tell them to take it off? No, no, no.
I just didn't pick it up because it was a want.
I didn't need it. Well, I do that quite a bit
too. If it's a want, most of the times I don't
even pick it up. I'm like, you know what, I don't
know how much it is. I don't need it anyhow.
Screw it. I'm out of here. So, you know. Yeah.
Yeah, and to find out they wanted $25, I would
have went up to $15, you know? Yeah, yeah. No,
I'm the same way. I'm just like, man, you know
what? That's okay. I'll leave it. So when I was
going through the farmer's market today, I found
black garlic pepper. Have you ever heard of that,
black garlic pepper? No, I have not. This is
not a common item. I've heard about it. I've
read about it. But I've never been around it
before, and I got to take a little sample, and
I bought some. What they do is they take homegrown
heirloom garlic, and they pick it precisely at
the ripest point. They age it until it turns
a grayish color. This gives the garlic a special
taste you can't find anywhere else. So if you
ever get a chance to be around it. Most people
give you a sample so you know what you're buying.
Or you can smell it and pretty much tell what
it's going to taste like. But I've always wanted
to try this before. I just couldn't find it.
So, hey, I found it. So it's going to be on.
I'm going to do some steaks Tuesday. I think
I'm going to put some of that on the steaks and
see how it turns out. I'll give you a full report.
Of course, you know, I love the roasted garlic.
The roasted garlic and the cowboy butter. I use
those two already on meat. And it's really good.
You know, you rub it in. I use it as a rub. You
knuckle it in really good. And then you sear
it. When you sear it, not only does it take the
spices and just sear it into the meat, but it
also locks in the juices. So your meat's juicy
and none of the meat, the fats that are being
melted, doesn't come off of the brisket or whatever.
It stays in the meat because you seared it off
and you have all the spices. That's the way you
do it. That's the only way to do it. And then
you cook it until it's almost falling apart.
And that's barbecue basically in a nutshell.
Right, Rob? Yes. Yep. You cook it quickly at
first until it gets a nice golden brown sear.
You knuckle in all of the spices, the dry rubs
that you use. And then you take it to the slow
side and you let it smoke for hours and slowly
cook. That is... The big secret to barbecue right
there, that is the only way barbecue is done.
If not, it's grilling or smoking. What I just
mentioned is barbecuing. Grilling and smoking
are a little bit different than that. Yes. And
also, when we're speaking about barbecue, I went
back to regular pork ribs, the regular spare
ribs. They're so much juicier than baby back
or St. Louis style. You know, the whole thing
is people don't know how to cook them. And I
got tired of having to baby them, but I had some
time today, so I went back to regular spare ribs.
You've got to keep the rib tips up away from
the fire because those burn. And that's what
people have against regular spare ribs is the
rib tips burn. And they don't like that burnt.
They've got to cut it off or, you know, they
can't eat it. So what they do is they buy a cut
with the rib tips already, the rib tips are already
sliced off. And that's the St. Louis style. And
if they're cut thicker, then that is a baby back
style. But the regular ribs, if you keep the
rib tips away from the fire or put them underneath
something when you're cooking it or something
or put foil on the tips or something, if you
make sure the tips don't get burnt. That pork
spare rib, just a spare rib like they are, no
special cut, is the best rib you can buy because
it's so much juicier because all the parts are
included and all the fatty parts and all that.
So that's another, you know, that's another little
secret there. So, and also, we had a couple emails
about the message that we put in the show periodically
in another language. You know, we put that in
there, right, Rob? Yeah. Okay. Well, people want
to know what it is, so I'm thinking we have New
Guy explain it to them. What do you think, Rob?
Good idea. Okay. All right, New Guy, rip at it.
Or whatever. Or go at it or something. I don't
know. Just explain it. Yeah, that's it. Hello.
This is the New Guy again. I guess they want
me to explain something else to you because obviously
these two guys are too stupid to. So here we
go. The message is in Greek, of course. It says
you are a below average intelligence and your
mom dresses you in an unbecoming fashion and
has dirty fingernails. So there you guys go.
Go fuck yourself. Rob, first off, thank you,
new guy, you surly bastard. We'll see how much
longer you're employed by us. Jeez. Okay. Yeah.
Rob, and Rob gave you 50 bucks, you asshole.
Yeah, I did. I gave him pencil shavings yesterday.
And he's still mad. He doesn't like explaining
anything. I gave him a full bag of pencil shavings,
Rob. Which was more than 50 bucks. Yeah, he's
an ingrate. Jeez. Okay, we both have predictions
of Johnny Deere going to the Fox. Are you still
tight on that, or are you starting to waver?
I'm still tight. I think he will. I think he
will, too, but I don't think it's going to be
a quick process. I think it might be a year or
two from now. Because I think that... I don't
know if Johnny would go to another market. He's
had chances when he was working at The Rock.
He's had plenty of chances to make more money
and go to another market. I know that he's had
offers. So I don't think he wants to go to another
market. I think he likes, from what I understand,
I think he likes to go to Curacao and stuff.
And I think he might have a studio there, like
a place there or something. I think Val said
that she thought she'd heard that or maybe said
that on a show or something. If he goes to the
Fox like I think he will, I mean, he might be
doing the show from there for all I know. I don't
know. But I still think he'll be with the Fox
because there's not really any other station
that could fit his style of entertainment. You
know, it's not a country audience, even though
he came from young country, kind of, a little
bit. Yeah, you know, he's more like the classic
rock kind of guy now, you know, because 101 the
Fox, someone turned it on at work yesterday.
No, the day before. It doesn't matter. Anyhow,
they turned it on, and they were playing a lot
of grunge, a lot of 90s stuff. And I was like,
wow. I was like, okay, this is like the rock
was 15 years ago. You see? So Johnny there, his
audience is accustomed to that. He's accustomed
to that. So I think when it does work out, when
the older guy steps down or whatever, I think
that that's, or their sparks and whoever, if
they do a nosedive in the morning or something,
then they might put him on. But I think that,
I think it's going to have to run its course.
I don't think there's very much room over there
right now. And also, I think the longer you wait,
the better price you're going to get from somebody
anyhow. So, you know, I'm just assuming that
Johnny Deere still wants to do this, you know,
that still wants to do radio. I imagine he does.
I mean, he is a grand marshal at the Kansas 400.
So, you know, I would think he's still putting
his name out there. He's still doing stuff. So
I would think that he is probably, you know,
maybe eyeballing another job here in Kansas City
like that. And I hope so. I think the radio is
a better place with him on it. So, anyhow, that's
all I got. So we're both like, yeah, we still
think he's going to land there. It just might
take a little bit longer. Yeah, yeah, it's going
to take a while because there's going to be a
lot of red tape, you know. Well, I think, number
one, he's got to probably. They haven't paid
off for the rest of the year. That's what they
normally do. Yeah. You know, and these contracts,
usually they run year to year or whatever, you
know, and it's kind of worded like this, if I
understand correctly. Like, if you are still
here, if we still employ you, year three, you're
going to get this much. If we still employ you,
year four, you're going to get this much. But
there's no guarantee that they'll keep you at
any time. They can cancel you. And from what
I understand, they have to pay you off for the
rest of the year so you don't get another job.
directly against them, competing against them.
They don't want that. They want people to forget
about you and get it into the habit of listening
to someone else before you go against them. It's
just good business. It's just smart business.
Yeah, it is. Yeah, so anyhow, all right, I move
on. Rob, it's your turn. All right. A construction
worker in Missouri was going about his day when
a surprising sight paused him in his tracks.
A little family of squirrels had somehow wandered
onto the site, and he quickly helped guide them
to safety. Once the squirrels were out of harm's
way, he returned to his work, shaking up a can
of spray foam to fill a small gap, like he always
did. But he didn't notice one tiny squirrel had
been left behind. Scared and startled, the baby
made a desperate jump and landed right in the
sticky foam. Cool. the nostrils so he could breathe,
then gently cleaned around his eyes so he could
see again. Little by little, they continued the
painstakingly task of removing the bone from
his tiny body, doing their best to keep him calm
and comfortable. To help ease his discomfort,
they gave him a small dose of pain relief and
monitored his vital signs, especially his eyes
and mucous membranes, watching for any signs
of infection. Blankets, they've been warm for
the first time in a while. By the next morning,
most of the foam had been removed. Good. Though
his skin was raw and sensitive, he was already
showing signs of improvement. His eyes looked
clearer, and he was starting to move around more
easily. That's a pretty good story. I like it.
I'm glad you did that. I love that. You know
what? Me too. And I know people are like, you
know... A lot of people would just let it lay
there. Yeah, a lot of people are like, oh, well,
you know what? If I let them live, they're going
to get in my attic and tear everything up. I've
never been like that. I don't want to go kill
something on a possible. And the only thing I'll
kill on a possible is like a poisonous snake
or a poisonous spider. If I see a brown recluse
or something, I'll kill that. And the reason
is, is because I don't want me or any of my family
to get hurt by it. Other than that, if it's out
in the woods, they get left alone. I don't bother
them. And just like, you know, raccoons and possums.
You know, Val saved a couple of possums a few
years ago. You know, something happened to their
mom and they're out there pretty much in our
ditch. Very young. Probably would not have lived
without her taking them to the nature center.
She took them to the nature center and they lived.
They might still be alive for all I know. I'm
not sure how long possums live. I don't think
it's that long. But, you know, I've never been
like, oh, kill it. It's just going to be a nuisance
anyhow. I've always just thought that that was
ridiculous and people that are heartless. What
do you think, Rob? Yeah, definitely. That's why
I appreciate this fan. Me too. Save the thing.
Save it and then make sure they don't get in
your house. Do whatever it takes. Have it. you
know, closed up correctly or whatever, and assume
a little responsibility. You know, of course,
they're animals. They're going to try to get
to a warm place. But I'm not for killing them,
and I think they have a right to live just like
we do. Yeah. Unless you're a tasty sirloin, then,
well, you know, that's... Well, yeah, that's
a different story. I'm a little hypocritical
on that, definitely. All right, let's take our
first break. And then we're going to come back
with some emails. Sound good? Sounds good. I'll
bet you Mitch has something in here. We'll see.
Okay. And now we look in on the adventures of
the technical explanation guy. Oh, my. Would
you look at the Riley scattering? It sure is
brilliant tonight. First off, you're on private
property. Second. You're in my flower garden.
Third, if you're talking about the sunset, yes,
it is stunning. And finally, would you get the
hell off my property, you annoying fucking bastard.
Next time you take a dump, listen to two douchebags
and a microphone. It's been proven in laboratory
rats to relax your anal canal. Get in cover.
Jam X. What the hell happened? You were the generation
of change. You never wanted to be one of them.
At the feet. Spoke for you. Fuck the man. Fuck
the system. What the hell happened? The generation
of angst? The generation of noncompliance? Is
now buying a boat? You're really fed up to kill
someone who dangled a dollar near you? Great
job, Xers. Everything's ruined. Two douchebags
and microphone in an effort to keep everything
fresh. We offer you... First world problems.
What in the devil? My bank is really out of calendars.
What do they expect me to do? Go to Walmart and
buy a $3 calendar? This is complete bullshit.
I am outraged. So he won't... Proof that we love
you here at QD Spades and Microfilm Central.
Here's a proof right here. How about the drink
of the week? Hey, my party pilgrims. How about
Norwegian's famous pineapple coconut mojito?
One and a quarter ounce Bacardi coconut rum,
one ounce pineapple puree, three pieces of lime
wedges, six pieces of mint leaves, and one half
ounce of simple syrup. You garnish ginger candy
on a pick, orange wilt, and a mint sprig. Take
a 12 -ounce glass, shake all ingredients together,
and strain over fresh ice and top with soda.
How about a splash of 7 -Up Sprite or ginger
ale just for a little extra pizzazz? Oh, hey,
look at the time. It's time for the crazy -ass
word of the day. Cito -cito hypoperiphyorgism.
And now, Deep Thoughts with Mark. No! No! Why
can't I just buy a can of thin paint? Why do
I always have to go buy paint thinner? I may
never know. Oh, shit. What's that over there?
Oh, no. It's an island of horrible jokes. Christian
Bale. Two douchebags and microphone. I'm Mark
here in the Kansas City vicinity at the Talk
is Cheap studio. I got some emails, so I guess
we'll get right into them. All right. All right.
Hey, Mark. I heard on the music creeps you saw
the band Down at the Beaumont Club. I'm jealous.
I wanted to see Down badly, but missed them two
times. They came by KC. Thanks for the invite,
jerk. Johnny and OP. That was when I didn't know
where you lived, Johnny. His name's not Johnny.
I fucking hate calling him Johnny. Right. Okay.
Right. I didn't know anything. I didn't know
where you were at, Johnny. You found me again
somehow through this fucking podcast. And I appreciate
you finding me. But, no, at the time, I would
have invited you, but I didn't know how to get
a hold of you. So, this is like early 2000s.
I have no idea where you're at or what you're
doing. So, sorry if I... Kind of like me, huh?
Yeah, yeah. Podcasts united us. And I found it
interesting. He found me on the podcast. I mean,
I just found that incredible. It's just like
Kansas City is a huge area. I mean, two and a
half million people, right? And he found me somehow
through a fucking podcast. Anyhow, it's cool.
It just shows you how stuff like this really
does get around and really, you know. Anyhow,
all right. I read an interesting article and
thought it would make great subject material.
I read where a certain percentage of women will
steal a guy's lunch to start conversation with
him. This started on TikTok and is now a thing
among younger women. Yeah, I read up. This is
true, I believe. I read up on it, too, after
you wrote me this. I read up and what they do
after eating the poor guy's sandwich, they offer
to take him to lunch the next day or so. Thank
you. We're always looking for material. Danny
in Wilmington is your name. Thank you, Danny.
I don't know how much there is to report on this,
but I do think it's a fascinating subject. Because
what most women do, Rob, is they're trying to
get to know somebody at work or somewhere, right?
So they steal their lunch. And then they have
the person catch them, the guy catch them, okay?
This is on TikTok, so, I mean, it may not be
true. Who knows? But it's interesting nonetheless.
So the guy's like, hey, you're eating my sandwich.
What, this is your shit? I thought it was my,
oh, man, I'm so sorry. How about if I buy you
lunch tomorrow next door? And that's, I mean,
I think it's kind of semi -brilliant. Yeah, it
is. Yeah, and then you got him, you know, you
got him on a lunch date without actually having
him on a lunch date. And then from there, since
they're on a lunch date but not on one, if you
don't like the guy, there's no committing. You're
just paying him back for the sandwich you ate
accidentally, right? Right, right. All right.
Women, go ahead. That's awesome. This next one.
Okay. Mark, I would appreciate your beef ravioli
cobbler recipe. I want to make it at home. Jen
and Topeka, beef ravioli cobbler recipe. These
fuckers. Jen, okay, you take beef ravioli, a
can of Chef Warden's, you put it in a bowl, you
smash it up really good, and then you put those
cobbler strips over it, and you bake it for three
hours at 500 degrees. There you go. All right,
next. I plan on stealing Rob for the Lake Freeman
podcast I'm starting. Instead of listening to
that dickhead Mark, Rob, get with me. Mitch,
local podcast hero and carp specialist. Wow.
Are you in the business for another podcast?
It kind of sounds like here you've got to either
do yours, this, this, or his. Well, if I do,
it'll be both. I'm not giving this up just for
that. Yeah, there you go, Mitch. I could be persuaded
to do both. You and your three listeners, Mitch,
look very attractive right now, but we're sorry.
We're going to have to turn you down for the
time being. That was nice, right? Yeah. Okay.
And go fuck yourself. All right. Rob, I need
a picture of your booty short stays. Kelsey in
Omaha. I want to see if I still have a picture.
I knew I shouldn't have played that bit. I think
I do. I think I do have one. I played that bit
one fucking time in like the last half year,
and this is what we get. I'm glad they pay attention.
I'll just put it like that. Yeah. Okay, well,
there you go. I think I do have a picture. I'll
run across it when I'm moving. There you go,
Kelsey in Omaha. All right. Next one. Mark, what
do you think of Ryan Seacrest now after he's
been hosting Wheel of Fortune for a couple of
seasons now? I remember you didn't think it was
going to be very good. Ryan in Pennsylvania.
I wonder if that's Ryan Seacrest. No, I doubt
it. Okay. He is good. actually is much funnier
than I thought he would be. I stand corrected.
He's actually pretty good. He's done a really
good job. So, I mean, I don't know what else
to say, Ryan in Pennsylvania. That's it, yeah.
I think he did good. I was wrong. All right.
And then finally, what are your number one, you
and Rob's number one most overrated rock band
ever? Ronnie and Tulsa, the Tulsa King. Do you
want to answer that later or do you want to answer
it right now? Overrated. Most overrated. Man,
that's a hard one. I know it is. I'm tempted
to say Motley Crue, but they did have really
good music, the first four albums. Yeah. So I
can't really say that. I was, yeah. Oh, you too.
Yes, definitely. Definitely. Yeah, they are the
most overrated rock band ever. Yes. And there's
other ones too that I'm not thinking of, but
U2 was definitely one of them. Pearl Jam. The
Police. The Police, yeah. Pearl Jam is another
one. I'm going to stick with Pearl Jam and U2
and You Got the Police. So those are... Yeah.
You just asked for one, but those are our top
three. Okay. Thank you, Ronnie. Hope you're doing
well. I know you're having some issues there
in Atlanta, I believe is where you're at now.
I hope things get a little bit better. And thank
you for writing us in. Like always, we always
want to hear from you. And when you do finally
get that podcast done that you're looking at,
send it to me. We'll post it here. Thank you,
Ronnie. All right, that's all the emails. Rob,
we turn it to you. All right. A Mississippi man
who was arrested twice in the span of a month
once for allegedly driving drunk to bail out
a friend charged with driving under the influence
and again for alleged DUI of his own has died
in custody according to authorities. Okay. Marquez
Bartolo was discovered dead in his jail cell
on Saturday at 5 .30 p .m., according to a statement
from McGee Police Chief Dennis Ford. In a previous
incident on August 22nd, Barlow allegedly arrived
intoxicated at the McGee Police Station to postpone
for a pal arrest on DUI charges the night before.
Barlow was then arrested for public intoxication.
A representative of the McGee Police Department
was not available for comment by the time of
this publication. The DTs, yeah, yeah. Yeah.
I would agree with that, and I think that's a
very good point. Yeah. Wow, okay. Yeah. Okay,
thank you, Rob. Should we take our second break
and come back? I got a story I want to go into.
Yeah, sounds good. All right, we'll be right
back. Yes, it's true. Mark is an old bastard.
It's also true that Mark uses a lot of ibuprofen.
But Mark would like to tell you, if you see any
pictures of him roofing ibuprofen, it's obviously
fake, and you're to take the pictures and tear
them up immediately. Our constant pursuit for
a real knee slapper. It's strange insults from
an alien. Real hilarity. You look like you smell
like cheese. Have you ever wondered what something
came about? Have you ever looked at something
and said, hey, I wonder what the origin of that
is? Well, so have we. That's why we give you
the origin of. What is the origin of Mountain
Dew? Tennessee bottlers Barney and Ally Hartman
developed Mountain Dew as a mixer in the 1940s.
Soft drinks were sold regionally in the 1930s
and the Hartmans had difficulty in Knoxville
obtaining their preferred soda to mix with liquor,
preferably whiskey, so the two developed their
own now known as Mountain Dew. strange, but true.
In early 2025, 16 -year -old Christopher Dunham
from Oklahoma was reportedly missing by elderly
relatives. Despite extensive searches, nobody
could find him. However, days later, he was found
hiding in a local Walmart with a forecast made
of dog beds and toilet paper packages. When I
was with that band, I wasn't drinking, so when
we'd play drinking games, I'll... I'd have to
drink this water, which is, you know, not really
much of a game because half the game is watching
everyone get drunk, you know, and they have to
take a drink or whatever. It also gives you a
one -up, though. You see stupid shit happening
and other people don't identify with it because
they're smashed. Yeah. But then again, it'd be
fun or smashed because you'd be like, ah -ha
-ha. Well, they came up with a variation for
me since instead of drinking alcohol, I was drinking
water. They made the exception as I could not
get up. I couldn't leave a circle to go pee.
Everyone else could, but since I wasn't getting
hammered on water, then my punishment was I couldn't
pee. That's a pretty... That lasted for a while,
and I was like, okay, I voluntarily lose, quit,
whatever, because I've got to go pee right now.
Like that? Some of those drinking games went
on way too long, and by the time we got back
to the club to play that night, Some of us were
still a little hammered. A little residual leftover
glaze. Been there, done that. And then you got
the choice, you know, if you're that person,
you start the gig off and you're kind of wasted,
do you just keep it going throughout the gig
or do you let yourself come down during the gig
and by the fourth set you're like, fuck this,
I hate life, let me go. I was talking to a guy
at work similar to that. when i was younger um
i used to have to decide because we were out
late one night having some beers and stuff and
it ended up i ended up leaving that place like
2 30 or something which is rare rare for me you
know usually i've been asleep a long time and
a couple days later i'm talking to him and i
go you know when i was younger i used to have
that one moment where i had to stop for a second
of what i was doing and go all right i gotta
be at work in four hours do i want to Just ride
this out, hurry in, and try to sober up the last
couple hours and go to work? Or do I want to
shut this fucking thing down, get four hours
of sleep, and then go in there and go to work?
And usually, usually it was like, I'm just going
to ride this thing through, and I'll sleep tomorrow,
which I never did, because then all of a sudden
a bunch of people show up. And anyhow, they're
like, hey, come on, man, get in the car. We're
going to go over to so -and -so's. I'd be like,
oh, yeah, you know. You know, usually it'd take
me three or four days to catch up, and then I'd
have to, usually a Tuesday night. But it seems
like that would be the wiser choice, is to stay
awake and ride it out. When I was in that situation...
Yeah, because you feel like shit, you know. You
actually get about three hours or two and a half
hours sleep, because you're forcing yourself
to sleep, but you still want to party. You get
a little bit of bad sleep, bad quality sleep.
When you wake up, your body is finally to the
point where it wants to sleep. But now you have
to wake up. Yeah, when you get in that really
deep sleep, you wake up. Yeah. And then what's
even worse is while you're asleep, you can't
monitor your symptoms and take steps to counteract.
Like if you're dead asleep because you're half
-wasted. No, you wake up where you're at. Yeah,
I mean, you may be so sick to your stomach that
normally you'd wake up and do something about
it, but you're sleeping so hard in those couple
three hours that it just sits there and gets
worse and worse. By the time you wake up, you
feel like total shit. Whereas if you'd stayed
awake, you could treat those symptoms as they
came up. You'd be more tired, but after the end
of a couple hours, you're like, okay, I got my
nausea under control. I got myself hydrated.
I got some drops in my eyes. It usually worked
out better because you had that time to start
treating yourself. I would run into that not
necessarily because I was wasted, but just because
I was tired. Some of those out -of -town gigs,
I'd work all day Friday, drive out to some hour
and a half out of town, set up, play, tear down,
and then I'd have to drive back to KC and get
a little bit of sleep and go work Saturday. I
worked a lot of Saturdays. And then when I was
done with work, I'd have to load up, drive back
to that little town where everybody else still
was and go play the second night. It was like,
oh, this sucks so hard. See, that's when I should
have been freebasing coke or something. You know,
that's when I needed all that energy. But, you
know, there I was trying to exist on coffee and
cigarettes. I just wasn't cutting it. Ms. Gulkin's
team was tired of Mark and Toe for making sport
of her. Little did the douchebags know Ms. Guffenstein
was a voodoo high priestess when she was younger.
She grew angry and cast a spell on Rob, changing
Rob into a capuchin monkey. Mark took Rob to
a local zoo so he could be with the other monkeys.
Here are the adventures of Rob, the capuchin
monkey. Shh, be very quiet. gonna listen in as
rob the capuchin monkey tries to sell the rest
of the capuchin monkeys amway rob has always
dreamed of becoming a diamond status amway as
a capuchin monkey Little did our hero Rob know.
All the great apes owned stock in Sam's Club
and became violently pissed off when he tried
to infringe on their territory. They promptly
grabbed switches and beat his ass for three days
straight. Rob could not sit down. Hey, my fellow
heavy breathers. This is Dash Riptide. Your music
news. Got real quick music news for you tonight.
Apparently on Ozzy Osbourne death certificate.
It has, in the occupation department, rock legend.
We could not agree more. This is Gash Riptine,
and that was your music news. If it's too loud,
you probably have ear damage, just like me. Hey
there, fuckstick. You're just in time for brand
new feature news nobody gives a shit about. Punxsutawney
fills. Babies are named Shadow and Sunny. Two
douchebags and a microphone. I'm Mark here in
the Kansas City vicinity at the Talk is Cheap
studio. As Jessica Presadio drove on a freeway
on September 15th in Los Angeles County, she
heard a pop, then immediately experienced a sharp
pain in her backside. Yes, like her rump, her
ass. Yeah. Yeah. Yahoo News reported, Presadio
said she thought she'd been shot, but when paramedics
arrived, they saw that her left buttock... had
been pierced by a metal rod that had come through
the rear of her Ford Fusion and the driver's
seat. I was so confused as to where the injury
was coming from, Presadio said. Now recovering
from the accident, she believes the rod must
have fallen off the truck and urges drivers to
secure their loads before hitting the road. And
that's fucked up. This drive down the road, yeah.
and somebody dropped, like, this huge rod. She
ran it over, and it actually pierced through
the bottom of her car and through her car seat
and fucking pierced her left ass cheek. Wow.
Yeah. That's a lot of force. That could have
killed her. If that would have hit, I mean, needless
to say, you know, because of the orifice in that
area, if that would have hit her, like, a couple
inches probably to the right, most likely, or
left or whatever, that might have killed her.
Probably. Wow. Yeah, that's fucked up. So, anyhow,
that's all there was to that. I just wanted to
give that story out because it was odd. All right,
Rob, we turn to you. Okay. promoter AEG presents
the 29 year old's concert on Saturday September
27th through an official attendance of 112 ,408
people wow Zach Bryan is a country artist oh
ok well then that would explain the high audience
total yes yes yes the record was artist George
Strait, who performed to 110 ,905 people in Texas
last year. Before that, it was held for several
decades by the Grateful Dead, because they played
to 107 ,019 people in New Jersey in 1977. There
have been concerts in the U .S. that have attracted
larger audiences, such as April. by the New York
Philharmonic in Central Park in 1986 that drew
an estimated crowd of 800 ,000. And Live 8, I
think that was supposed to be Live 8, says Live
8. Okay. Okay, wow. Michigan, yeah. Okay. Michigan
Stadium is the largest stadium in the United
States and is home to the University of Michigan's
tallest football team. And it's known as the
big house. Yeah, yeah, they are the biggest stadium
around as far as I know, 115 ,000. And they sell
out Michigan Wolverine football. They sell out.
Right. Variety reports that the show also set
a new record for merchandise sales in a single
night by bringing in $5 million. Earlier this
year, Brian completed a pair of music deals reportedly
worth a total of $350 million. Okay. That's pretty
cool. Yeah, it is. Very much so. Thank you, Rob.
At a rehearsal on September 16th for an air show
in Qincheng, China, two flying cars collided
while performing difficult stunts, CNN reported.
An electrical vertical takeoff and landing vehicles
are intended to be part of a low -altitude economy
in China, which includes flying taxis, drone
deliveries, and other services below 3 ,000 meters.
So, wow. So they're already doing this over there,
Rob. They've already got this thing that we've
been, we've got this promise that we've had for
so long of flying cars and flying taxis and drones.
Well, we have drones, but you know what I mean?
They're already doing this over there. they have
a full economy called low altitude economy. Is
that something? That is pretty cool. Yeah. So
they said that the vehicles collided because
of insufficient spacing. All personnel at the
scene are safe. However, an unidentified employee
said one pilot sustained minor injuries in the
accident. The two vehicles that hit each other,
are actually for sale to the public. They were
not demo models or anything like that. They're
actually for sale to the public. People can buy
these two. So what it was was it wasn't the vehicles
that defaulted. It was insufficient spacing,
which means that someone made a mathematical
calculation that was wrong, and these two of
them hit each other. Or one, you know, two of
them hit each other. Interesting, because this
is the stuff I wanted for a long time, is the
flying cars and the taxis and all that, you know?
You imagine calling an Uber and going, oh, hang
on, I'm circling right above you. Are you there
at the stop sign? Yeah, this is me standing right
here with red briefcase. Oh, okay, there you
are. I see you up there. Then they land right
there and come get you. That'd be something,
man. In a car. In a flying car. And also, look
up the videos if you get a chance, Rob. They're
really cool, the flying cars in China or whatever
you want to call them. So, all right, Rob, we
turn it to you. Okay, I have one. Now, this one's
going to be a hard one because these names are
hard as hell. Just say Babble Snatch if you're
not sure. It's fine because that's what we do
here. Okay, but, yeah, you can look it up. I'm
sure it's on YouTube or wherever. Okay. Good
night. Okay. Completing in the sixth fight of
Babylon MMA 54 for the lightweight Tomaini Man.
He knelt down and tapped several times as the
bell sounded. He just tapped out as soon as it
started, and that was it. Yeah. He hadn't been
in very many fights. He was brutally stopped
by Jacob Osaka just 28 seconds into a bare -knuckle
MMA at Wotor 4. Uh -huh. He might be afraid of
getting his ass kicked. I think so, after getting
his ass beat, it sounds like. Maybe he's like,
I don't want to go through that again. Yeah.
Okay. But that's the last match on the card.
Okay. That's weird, yeah. All right, thank you,
Rob. Appreciate that. In Sechlight, Hungary,
on September 6th, more than 20 teams... competed
in the International Grave Digging Championship.
Oddly Central reported. Oddly Central, I think,
is an online thing. The contest is sponsored
by Country's Association of Cemetery Operators
and Maintainers, MTFE abbreviations, and is intended
to raise the prestige of the profession. Teams
of two must dig graves two meters long. 80 centimeters
wide and 1 .6 meters deep within two hours, then
shovel the dirt back into the holes to create
a neat burial mound. Contestants are judged on
speed, accuracy, and attention to detail. The
Hungarian team of Laszlo's Kiss and Robert Nagy
won the first prize for the second year in a
row. The winners credited their success to the
routine they developed in their daily work without...
without any special training, said the MTFE.
The Russian team came in last, blaming their
performance on the hot weather. So it sounds
about right, doesn't it? The Ruskies were bitching
because it's too hot. Yeah, poor little guys.
Anyhow, Rob, that's all in that one. I don't
know where else to take it, so we turn it to
you if you've got something. Okay. This is new.
Speaking on Scissor Sisters singer Jack Shears,
we're the music podcast. The 74 -year -old Rock
and Roll Hall of Fame singer said the couple
wed after more than three decades together. The
decision, Halpert explained on the episode dated
Wednesday, September 24th, came after years of
hesitation rooted in his partner. conservative
Cool. admitted he was gay quite a while ago actually
right right and i remember hearing that back
in like the early 80s um no well maybe probably
about yeah probably about 83 something like that
i remember hearing that from this guy that was
in a rock band called shock they were a glam
rock band when glam rock was just coming out
you know and he worked down at 7th Heaven, and
Davey and I was in there looking for import records
and stuff like that, and different unique things,
and he told us that, because we were talking
about Judas Priest, like a new album was coming
out or something, and he goes, man, he goes,
I can't believe Rob Halford's gay, and we're
like, what? He goes, yeah, he's gay, and we thought
he was just full of shit, and then years later,
30 years later, it was like, oh, wait a minute,
he told us that a long time ago. So, hey, I just,
It's weird how, like, there can be, like, a secret
when so many people know. You know what I mean?
Yeah. So, all right, let's see. Okay. Scotland
scandal erupted at the World Stone Skimming Championship.
United Press International reported on September
16th. The stones used in the contest are required
to be naturally occurring slate from the island
of Eastdale. where the match takes place, but
several contestants were found to be using stones
that had been smoothed and shaped by a machine.
Kyle Matthews, the Toss Master, said he contacted
individuals who admitted their transgressions
and I had to disqualify them. Matthews said the
organizers are considering having competitors
choose from already vetted stones in the future
rather than providing their own. Jonathan Jennings
of Kentucky became the first American to win
at... the adult male category. Repeat champion
Lucy Woods won the adult female championship.
So, there you go. There's somebody that cheated
on the stone skimming championship, but they
caught him, which relieves me. What about you,
Rob? Yes, definitely. I'm so glad they got caught.
I mean, those people could not be a fugitive.
They had to catch him, right? Right. Yes. All
right, Rob, do you have something? You're going
to have to give me a minute. My phone's jacking
with me. Uh -oh. You want me to go into something?
Yeah, do it. Okay, here we go. Okay, you got
something? No, I've got to find the story I was
going to do. Oh. Okay. Let's see. There it is.
There it is. I got it. Okay. I'm going to heckle
Will Smith. Sounds good to me. Well, I'm not
echoing. I'm not reading it. Somebody else echoed
it. Oh, okay. Scandal -scarred Will Smith is
accused of getting jiggy with his latest video
using AI to create a cheering audience. RadarOnline
.com getting revealed. Okay. to promote it. Many
fans are convinced that Smith, apparently not
satisfied with the size of the crowds at his
concerts, tinkered with a promotional video so
it looks like the audience is bigger. The Summertime
Rapper posted the message Another comment. It's
over, bro. Just enjoy your retirement. Boy, they
get right to it. They get right to it, don't
they? Yeah, they do. This is the latest misstep
from the once invincible box office powerhouse
who's been on a steep downhill trajectory ever
since Slapdick. Yep. Okay, yeah. It does sound
like he's going downhill. Well, that, and he
had that big thing where his wife, they have,
like, an open relationship or some stuff, remember?
Yeah, yeah. There was a bunch of stuff about
that, and, like, she was, like, screwing around
on him or something, and then she was like, he
doesn't care or something like that, and everyone's
kind of, like, turned their head and said, oh,
what the hell's going on? Yeah, there's been
a lot of stuff about that, too. And then the
slap gate didn't help him any because his wife,
Jada Pinkett, was like... The only reason he
went up there and slapped... Shit, I forgot the
guy's name now. The comedian. Chris Rock. Chris
Rock, yeah. The only reason he did is because
his wife, Jada Smith Pinkett or whatever, gave
him the dirtiest look like, are you going to
do something? And then he went up there and smacked
him. Other than that, he was just going to sit
there. And which it was a joke. He should have
just sat there. You know, Chris Rock is a comedian.
It's a fucking joke. And instead, because she
gave him the dirty look like, hey, you know,
you're not defending me. He felt like a little
bitch that he, I think he is. He walked up there
and slapped him. And he's lucky Chris Rock didn't
beat his ass. Because I think Chris Rock could
beat his ass. What do you think? Oh, I bet he
could. Yeah. So. All right. I got it. I got one
more story here, and if you got something after
that, that's fine. It's 906. So thank you, Rob.
Appreciate that. All right. Here's only one thing
we love more than a new M &M flavor hitting the
shelf, and that's multiple new M &M flavors hitting
the shelves. We've been pretty lucky this year
with white chocolate marshmallow crispy M &Ms
returning after a two -year hiatus, along with
the introduction of new cookies and cream and
honey roasted peanut flavor M &Ms. How about
those three, huh? That sounds real good to me.
I'm looking for them already. I don't think they're
out yet. I haven't found them anywhere. But as
soon as I find them, I will be trying them. They
sound great. So, all right, Rob, you got something?
Yeah, I do. Catfish, the TV show, the hit MTV
documentary series that tackled the realities
and challenges of online dating, has been canceled
after nine seasons. seasons. Based on the award
-winning 2010 documentary directed by Neb Shulman's
brother, Ariel Shulman, and Henry Kaus, Catfish,
the TV show, premiered in 2012 on MTV and concluded
its ninth season in July 2024. Neb Shulman and
Max about the show's cancellation in a video
posted on social media on September 22nd. Hey
guys. Joseph Depard series as series co -host.
Cammie Crawford joined as a permanent host halfway
through season 7. Okay. Yeah, the show's over
finally. Okay. I've watched it a few times. Yeah,
it's okay. Yeah. It's not my favorite. It's not
the worst. Okay. All right. Okay. All right.
Thank you, Rob. You're welcome. Well, you want
to end this or you want me to keep going with
something? look here. I'm sure that I do. Okay.
This is government at work. More than 50 animals,
mostly cats and a few others. So let's see. Damn
it. You know what? I can't do this one because
it fucking smudged off. I apologize. Shit. Damn
it. It smudged off and the next one did not print
out. I didn't have a... I didn't take a look
at this, so I apologize for that. Let's see.
Here's one I think I got all of it on. Okay.
All right. While burros of federally protected
species are being targeted in inland California,
the Associated Press reported on September 9th,
a female burro... now called Cupid, was spotted
with an arrow protruding from her right shoulder.
Animal Services and Riverside County Sheriff's
Department worked together to bring her in for
emergency surgery. At least six donkeys have
been shot with arrows since June. The Peaceful
Valley Donkey Rescue Group said, The group is
offering a $24 ,000 reward for information about
who is shooting the donkeys. In the meantime,
Cupid is recovering from surgery and will be
returned to her herd when she returns. when she
gets better enough to be left out there. And
this goes back to what we were saying before.
You're talking about the squirrel that was saved.
People that do that are fucking psychopaths.
They're worthless. Anyone that would go around
and shoot wild burros with arrows for the fuck
of it, they need to eat their arrow. Someone
needs to take that arrow and shove it up their
fucking ass. I mean, I hate people that abuse
animals, and especially like that. Anyhow, you
know what? Let's not end on a bad note. Chiefs
won. Great game. Beat the shit out of Baltimore.
It's going to be interesting because we're going
to listen for all these excuses now, and everybody's
going to be like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, they
had so many injuries and all this stuff. It doesn't
matter. The Chiefs are 2 -2, Baltimore 1 -3.
The Chiefs are one game out of first place. They
are solely in second place, one game behind the
Chargers, and they play the Chargers again this
season at home. So everybody, fucking cool down
a bit there. Fucking settle down, because this
is a long season, and guess what? We're used
to going there. So fuck every one of you fucking
idiots that have been mouthing off constantly,
like the skip -tards and all those idiots, the
talking fools. Just wait. Wait until the end
of December, and then you get back to us. Anyhow.
Anyhow, thank you everybody for listening. Hi,
Hicksville. Hi, Albuquerque. Hi, Grandma Opal.
Hi, Jimmy. Hi, Ricky. Love everybody. Hi, everybody.
Have a good night, assholes. Oh, no. Looks like
the show's over, kids. Mark has explosive diarrhea
and can't afford a wireless mic. Fear not, assholes.
They'll be back invading your ear holes soon.