WEBVTT

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Welcome, snot rags. It's time for the Daily Douchebag

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Pledge. Say it with me and make everyone near

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you say it too. I, Joe or Jane Listener, hereby

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promise to listen to every show. I, Joe or Jane

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Listener, hereby promise to download all the

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shows. I, Joe or Jane Listener, hereby promise

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to go to public computers, friends' computers,

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Androids, iPhones, and business computers, and

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all in between, and download the show from there.

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I, Joe or Jane Listener, will make all my friends

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and family members listen. And finally, I, Joe

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or Jane Listener, hereby promise to lie to everyone

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about how good the show is. And don't forget

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about the selfie you're going to take in front

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of the Novelick, Missouri sign. There you go,

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shitbags. That wasn't so bad now, was it? Here

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at Two Douchebags and a Microphone, we don't

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stand behind our journalistic integrity. Go ahead

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and assume we got the story wrong. At least we

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admit it. Not like all those other guys, we can

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and will lie if it makes the story better. Two

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douchebags and a microphone? Hey, if you're a

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fan of paying way too much for trinkets and food,

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well your wish is coming true. Han City International

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Airport Guest Pass program is starting today.

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Yes, you too could overspend on workless trinkets

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and $15 cups of coffee. You want to buy a $50

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cheap t -shirt that has KC Western Auto Building

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image on it? We got you covered. Want a barbecue

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sauce gift pack? No problem. Just a mere $40

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and you're first born. Hurry. You know rubes

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are jumping all over to get to this complete

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ripoff. Because people are sheep. Hi all. This

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is Chicago. I am the most dangerous city in North

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America. You can't touch me. Oh, yeah? This is

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Kansas City here. Hold my beer, bitch. Tomorrow

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morning, while grinding your coffee beans for

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your double mocha latte, remember to not get

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your genitals caught in the grinder. It really

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hurts. And who can afford plastic surgery? Stay

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safe, everyone. Hey, good kid. No one gives an

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ounce of shit what you had for breakfast. Not

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even the person on the other end. You look like

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a mentally slow driv yelling into thin air all

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through the store. I pray that Bluetooth shorts

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out and blows up your eardrums. What men consider

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self -centered dunce. Monty constantly coddled

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this dummy and it fucking shows. Go the fuck

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home and bore your dog. Wait, you probably forgot

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the theming because you're too busy looking in

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the mirror all day. Fuck off. Hey there, slap

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nuts. It's time for the Creeps Music News. Hey,

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my little pumpkin seeds, this is Johnny Rohypnol

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with your music news. This November, Bad Company

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will be inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall

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of Fame. Only two of the band's original members

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remain, Paul Rogers, the singer, and drummer

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Simon Kirk, the latter of which said the odds

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of them performing at this ceremony are very

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good. It's not a definite just yet, though. I

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don't know. I know that we've been approached

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to play a couple of songs Kirk recently explained

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to Defenders of the Faith podcast. I've spoken

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with Paul. Paul's health, as you know, is not

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good. But I think I'm crossing my fingers that

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we will be able to play at least one song. I

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don't know what that is yet, and I don't even

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know who's going to be inducting us yet. Simon,

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we hope you are correct. We would love to hear

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one last song from you two. This is Johnny Rohypnol.

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That was your music news. And remember, bar chords

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are bullshit. Two douchebags and a microphone.

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I'm Mark here in the Kansas City area at the

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Talk is Cheap studio. And I am Rob at the beautiful

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magwell arm of Blake and the Ozarks. We're now

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in the Doug Blind studio. Cool. I'm trying to

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figure out some stuff we can add to our introduction

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just to make it more tedious. You know what?

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I've got to leave it alone. I've got to leave

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it alone. I was thinking. Our whole first third

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of the show is going to be nothing but introductions.

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Yeah, you're right, you're right. And I'm sure

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everybody's like, fuck, we know, we know your

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Tataka's cheap in Duck Blind Studio, we know

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you're going to do the goat, and we know you're

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going to do the goat. Yeah, yeah, wait till I

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wait to get Lucas Oil. Yeah. Oh, then you go,

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yeah. I'll come up with something good. A beautiful

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Lucas Oil Stadium. Vroom, vroom. I don't know.

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All right. Oh, I got Pomme de Tar Lake right

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there, too. Oh, you know what? That's right.

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From the banks of the beautiful Pomme de Tar.

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Pomme de Tar. Pomme de Tar. Tar. It is Tar. I

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always call it Tar, but it is Pomme de Tar. It

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is French, I believe, which would make it Tar.

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But anyhow, yeah. Yeah, Bonterre. T -E -R -R

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-E. It's called Bonterre. So pronounce that the

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same. It's beautiful. It has a resort and a prison

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there. Yeah, yeah. And that's it. Yes. The resort

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is really nice. We had a friend that lived there

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and we went there to go visit him. And it takes

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us to the prison and Val and I are looking at

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each other going, He's not incarcerated, is he?

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No. Okay, then this can't be it. So we had to

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keep dialing into fucking Google and then finally

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just had to call and say, hey, we're sitting

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here at the prison. What the fuck did we do wrong?

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And he goes, it takes everybody to the prison.

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You got to go here and there and all that shit.

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So anyhow, so starting off with congratulations

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to Johnny Dare for being selected as a Grand

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Marshal at Kansas Speedway. All right on. Yeah,

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the Hollywood 400 race will feature not only

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Dare, but other members of the Morning Show cast,

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from what I understand, which is fantastic. I

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have not read anything about that. See, that's

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another reason he's going to get hired in Kansas

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City Radio, is because he is very well respected,

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and he's loved. Yeah, they're calling him for

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special things. Yeah, he still does the Harley

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Davidson commercials and all that. The Rock doesn't

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have a problem with his voice being on their

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airwaves. You know, he's done it right. He hasn't

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crossed a bunch of people like other people have,

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you know. Some other people, they make it in

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radio and all of a sudden, you know, they get

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too big for their fucking boots or whatever.

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He's never done that. And I'm not pointing fingers.

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Look, man, everybody has their own view of how

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they need to run their things and all that. And

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I get it, you know. Some people are confrontational,

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and some people choose not to be. And, you know,

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there's not really a right or wrong in it. It's

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just, you know. But Johnny Dare's really loved

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around Kansas City, obviously, so they want him

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here, and I think it's going to be a great thing

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for him. And I think it would be great to keep

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his name out there, although I'm almost certain

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to my prediction he will end up at 101 The Fox

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in some facet, whether it's afternoons, nights.

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Could even be mornings, but I doubt it. I'll

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bet you it'd be afternoon or nights because those

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two guys are getting a little long in the tooth.

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They still do a great job. Doug Medlock in the

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afternoon and Nasty Man, Chuck Nasty at night.

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I believe they're both in their 70s, so they

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probably don't want to do it forever. I mean,

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you know, Skip Rohde retired a couple years ago.

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So I really do think that he's going to end up

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there, but it's great that his name is out there

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and he's doing stuff in Kansas City. And I wouldn't

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doubt it at all if he does Hope for Christmas

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somehow, maybe with another station or something,

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if he does that again too. And some station agrees

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to having it do it on their airwaves because

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it was a big thing and people really loved it.

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And a lot of people gave to it and a lot of people

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loved listening to it and hearing people being

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helped. So I can see that happening too. So anyhow.

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But meanwhile, Modelo didn't have much time to

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enjoy the top -selling beer in America. Michelob

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Ultra has already taken over the top spot. Modelo

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only had half of a year to enjoy the honors.

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You know what, Rob? America's racist. They can't

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have a Mexican beer be the number one beer, right?

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Right. Yeah, that's it. Yeah. So people quit

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drinking Modelo and started drinking Michelob

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Ultra, the really, really white. The really white

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beer. No, I'm joking. They're not. It had nothing

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to do with it. What it is is people are trying

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to control their weight and their blood pressure

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and trying to fend off diabetes. So they have

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to go to, you know, they have to cut carbs, you

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know. Where a 12 -ounce can of regular beer has

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40 to 50 carbs, Michelob Ultra, I think, has

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like maybe 5 or 6. You know, and it's very low

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in calories, too. So, naturally, people get older

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and they have to go to that because they can't

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drink as much. When they were younger, you know,

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they go in and look at their blood sugar and

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they're like, oh, shit, I got to hem this bitch

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up. So, anyhow. So, Modelo, you're still number

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two, so be happy. All right? You think Modelo

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gives a shit? Probably not. Probably not. Yeah,

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yeah. They're probably like, oh, we're not number

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one. Okay. All right. Thanks. All right. Some

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popular Jimmy Kimmel memes. I have a couple of

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them. The first one was the only time Kimmel

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made me laugh is when I heard he got fired. That

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was the meme. The first one is the first time

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Kimmel ever made me laugh is when I heard he

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got fired. And then the second one was, I owe

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Kimmel my life. I was in a coma and a family

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member turned on Kimmel in the ICU and left the

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room. I had to wake up and change the channel.

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I like that one. He's in a coma and someone leaves

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it on him in the ICU room and he had to fucking

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wake up to turn it off. Fuck. Damn it. I was

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having a perfectly good coma and someone left

00:11:35.200 --> 00:11:40.840
this bullshit on. But, that's not the only one.

00:11:41.259 --> 00:11:44.620
Travis Kelsey memes are all about, too, or AI

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simulators. Coach Reed actually went over to

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Kelsey and bumped him in real life and was giving

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him the what for because, I don't know, Kelsey

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wasn't playing good or, you know, or blowing

00:11:55.779 --> 00:11:59.159
his assignment or something was going on. But

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Coach Reed showed a lot of emotion, which he

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doesn't sometimes. You know, he tries to be the

00:12:04.320 --> 00:12:08.009
firm, you know, dad type. and be over there and

00:12:08.009 --> 00:12:09.929
try to be there for his players and everything.

00:12:10.129 --> 00:12:13.429
But he ran over there, and he bumped him. So

00:12:13.429 --> 00:12:16.669
he was upset about something. So, you know, this

00:12:16.669 --> 00:12:19.429
is like the yang of the ying of a Super Bowl

00:12:19.429 --> 00:12:22.669
where Kelsey bumped Reed. So now we see it's

00:12:22.669 --> 00:12:24.350
a give and take because Reed did the same thing

00:12:24.350 --> 00:12:26.850
back. So that's probably why it wasn't taken

00:12:26.850 --> 00:12:28.889
with a lot of, you know, what the fuck did you

00:12:28.889 --> 00:12:31.190
do or something like that. It's because they

00:12:31.190 --> 00:12:33.409
have that type of relationship. You know, it's

00:12:33.409 --> 00:12:34.850
like, hey, I've got to get this guy's attention.

00:12:41.950 --> 00:12:45.990
Yes, yes, exactly. Kelsey, I mean, come on, Mark.

00:12:46.110 --> 00:12:48.549
We all see it. Kelsey's been going downhill the

00:12:48.549 --> 00:12:52.029
last two, three years. Yeah, and the way he went

00:12:52.029 --> 00:12:55.549
after Kelsey. His attitude, yeah, everything.

00:12:55.809 --> 00:13:00.710
So why wouldn't Andy Reid fire back at him? Yeah,

00:13:00.710 --> 00:13:05.169
yeah, this would indicate to me, Rob, that he's

00:13:05.169 --> 00:13:07.990
blowing his assignments, what he's supposed to

00:13:07.990 --> 00:13:11.740
do, and is pissing Andy Reid off. Andy Reid's

00:13:11.740 --> 00:13:14.259
going over there going, hey, hey, Travis, get

00:13:14.259 --> 00:13:16.539
your fucking head in the game because I don't

00:13:16.539 --> 00:13:20.659
want to replace you. That's what I think is being

00:13:20.659 --> 00:13:23.159
said. It's like, you know, we've got Noah Gray

00:13:23.159 --> 00:13:25.019
over there and we have other people. We can go

00:13:25.019 --> 00:13:30.279
to an all -receiver set if we have to. Don't

00:13:30.279 --> 00:13:33.139
make me do it. Don't make me do it, Travis. I

00:13:33.139 --> 00:13:35.720
want to keep you on the... The squad, the whole

00:13:35.720 --> 00:13:37.539
time you're here, I want to keep you on the front

00:13:37.539 --> 00:13:40.220
line. I want you to be a starter. But if you

00:13:40.220 --> 00:13:44.080
don't improve, he's probably going to have to

00:13:44.080 --> 00:13:47.759
maybe not bench him, but make him maybe the number

00:13:47.759 --> 00:13:50.820
two or do things a little bit different, put

00:13:50.820 --> 00:13:53.139
him in different situations than trying to catch.

00:13:53.720 --> 00:13:56.120
So I think that's what Reed was doing, was going

00:13:56.120 --> 00:14:00.139
over there and going, hey, dude, you're really

00:14:00.139 --> 00:14:05.879
not concentrating or something. And listen, Kelsey's

00:14:05.879 --> 00:14:07.799
had a lot going on. Someone just tried to sneak

00:14:07.799 --> 00:14:10.539
into him and Taylor's house again in Leawood.

00:14:10.860 --> 00:14:13.940
Yes, yes, yes. I read that. Yeah, and with the

00:14:13.940 --> 00:14:15.620
nutbags out there that are going around fucking

00:14:15.620 --> 00:14:18.480
shooting people that don't agree with them, I

00:14:18.480 --> 00:14:21.000
think they're probably worried. They're famously

00:14:21.000 --> 00:14:26.519
liberal, especially Taylor, right? So, you know,

00:14:26.620 --> 00:14:29.120
Charlie Kirk was just shot. Don't mean to bring

00:14:29.120 --> 00:14:31.080
it up because we don't do stuff like that on

00:14:31.080 --> 00:14:43.120
this podcast. Yeah, because there's been a lot

00:14:43.120 --> 00:14:45.320
of things I've been holding back about that.

00:14:49.299 --> 00:14:59.539
Or how about this? How about if you're one of

00:14:59.539 --> 00:15:01.820
the ones that lost your job because you went

00:15:01.820 --> 00:15:04.720
on social media about it? Yeah, too fucking bad.

00:15:04.919 --> 00:15:10.879
See ya. Which is over 20 -some thousand? Yes.

00:15:11.000 --> 00:15:15.879
So far? Mm -hmm. Because you're sticking your

00:15:15.879 --> 00:15:20.019
nose in social media on something that you shouldn't?

00:15:20.080 --> 00:15:23.820
Well, and also the vileness of celebrating somebody.

00:15:26.459 --> 00:15:28.179
celebrating somebody's death that was killed

00:15:28.179 --> 00:15:29.960
in front of their children and their wife. Yeah.

00:15:30.779 --> 00:15:34.179
What kind of a piece of shit does that? And I

00:15:34.179 --> 00:15:36.399
stick to that, and I'll never fucking sway from

00:15:36.399 --> 00:15:38.460
that either. If you don't fucking like what I

00:15:38.460 --> 00:15:41.399
say, don't fucking listen. But I'm telling you,

00:15:41.419 --> 00:15:43.419
if you celebrated that man's death or thought

00:15:43.419 --> 00:15:45.580
it was cool or had something to smartass to say,

00:15:45.700 --> 00:15:48.539
fuck you. You're the problem. You are the problem.

00:15:48.539 --> 00:15:50.799
And it doesn't matter whether you liked him or

00:15:50.799 --> 00:15:54.360
hated him. No. He was a human being with a wife

00:15:54.360 --> 00:15:57.460
and... And free speech that needs to be protected

00:15:57.460 --> 00:16:00.720
the most is the ones that you don't like. That's

00:16:00.720 --> 00:16:03.220
how you ensure that it keeps happening. You may

00:16:03.220 --> 00:16:06.580
not like what someone says, but you have to support

00:16:06.580 --> 00:16:11.259
their right to say it. And that's it. Anyhow,

00:16:11.279 --> 00:16:15.379
we'll go on. So, you know, they're probably afraid

00:16:15.379 --> 00:16:17.419
that some fucking nutbag's going to jump out

00:16:17.419 --> 00:16:19.000
of the fucking woods somewhere and shoot him.

00:16:19.480 --> 00:16:22.820
So he probably is distracted. Yes, I bet he is.

00:16:27.309 --> 00:16:30.970
My first story. Oh, okay. You know what? We didn't

00:16:30.970 --> 00:16:33.769
go into... No, we'll get to it. We'll get to

00:16:33.769 --> 00:16:37.389
it. Go ahead. Okay. The AI -generated video memes

00:16:37.389 --> 00:16:40.269
are hilarious. I saw one where Reed body slams

00:16:40.269 --> 00:16:42.990
Kelsey on the sideline, Hulk style. Have you

00:16:42.990 --> 00:16:46.710
seen that one? Yeah. Yeah. It's funny. You can

00:16:46.710 --> 00:16:48.950
tell it's AI, but it's still funny. And then

00:16:48.950 --> 00:16:51.370
there's another Reed sucker punching Kelsey with

00:16:51.370 --> 00:16:54.529
a right uppercut. Kelsey falls on the ground

00:16:54.529 --> 00:17:00.889
crying. Looking up, it's running around. It's

00:17:00.889 --> 00:17:03.570
running around there somewhere. It's around the

00:17:03.570 --> 00:17:06.150
Internet. And that one was funny because it shows

00:17:06.150 --> 00:17:10.910
a close -up of Kelsey crying. And then there's

00:17:10.910 --> 00:17:12.789
another one where Kelsey gets smacked in the

00:17:12.789 --> 00:17:17.170
nuts by Coach Reed. Have you seen that one? Coach

00:17:17.170 --> 00:17:19.670
Reed walks up and kicks him right in the nuts.

00:17:23.099 --> 00:17:25.539
And I'm sure there's a lot more that I have not

00:17:25.539 --> 00:17:28.420
seen. I do, too. They're funny. Look, everyone

00:17:28.420 --> 00:17:32.099
knows, well, I think. There's probably some stupid

00:17:32.099 --> 00:17:34.859
asses that think it's real. But most people know

00:17:34.859 --> 00:17:40.099
it's just a gag. It's a joke. So, the Rock Island

00:17:40.099 --> 00:17:42.640
Bridge project is almost completed and opening

00:17:42.640 --> 00:17:44.920
soon, Rob. You've been hearing about this shit

00:17:44.920 --> 00:17:49.099
how long now? Two years, right? At least. Yeah.

00:17:49.559 --> 00:17:52.359
Yeah, so finally it's opening up here in like

00:17:52.359 --> 00:17:55.460
a month or less. This is an old metal truss bridge

00:17:55.460 --> 00:17:58.440
that goes over the Kansas River. It connects

00:17:58.440 --> 00:18:00.960
the West Bottoms that are in Missouri to the

00:18:00.960 --> 00:18:04.000
Kansas City, Kansas side of the river. There's

00:18:04.000 --> 00:18:08.180
walking trails, trees, grassy commons area mixed

00:18:08.180 --> 00:18:10.359
together with restaurants, bars, coffee shops,

00:18:10.640 --> 00:18:13.259
probably some souvenir shops mixed in as well.

00:18:13.819 --> 00:18:17.279
It's the first of its kind recreational bridge

00:18:17.279 --> 00:18:20.410
project in the world. So Topher and I plan on

00:18:20.410 --> 00:18:24.289
doing some podcasts from there. Wintertime, though,

00:18:24.390 --> 00:18:26.829
it will be good for wintertime, too, because

00:18:26.829 --> 00:18:30.230
I saw the latest plans and they have heaters

00:18:30.230 --> 00:18:34.049
on the structure. It's not actually a roof. In

00:18:34.049 --> 00:18:37.630
some spots it is. It's a roof. But in some spots

00:18:37.630 --> 00:18:41.089
it's not actually a roof. But it does have hanging

00:18:41.089 --> 00:18:44.809
heaters, infrared heaters, that will keep you

00:18:44.809 --> 00:18:46.589
nice and warm while you're on the bridge during

00:18:46.589 --> 00:18:49.269
the wintertime, too. So it's going to be great.

00:18:49.390 --> 00:18:55.690
And I will speak more about this as it comes

00:18:55.690 --> 00:18:59.250
up. And like I said, we're going to be doing

00:18:59.250 --> 00:19:04.690
some podcasting from there. And also, moving

00:19:04.690 --> 00:19:10.950
on here, you like Disney World? Yeah, last time

00:19:10.950 --> 00:19:16.390
I was there, I was like, what? I'm over it. I've

00:19:16.390 --> 00:19:21.349
been over it many, many years. I'm over it. I've

00:19:21.349 --> 00:19:23.630
been over it a long time. Yeah, and I think it's

00:19:23.630 --> 00:19:25.309
probably been like that for me, too, probably

00:19:25.309 --> 00:19:28.750
about there. I don't know, seven, eight, something

00:19:28.750 --> 00:19:31.430
like that. So if you like Disney World and you're

00:19:31.430 --> 00:19:34.410
single, well, now you're covered. A new Disney

00:19:34.410 --> 00:19:36.529
fan app for single fans have been developed.

00:19:37.230 --> 00:19:39.089
Rob, should we have New Guy go ahead and explain

00:19:39.089 --> 00:19:42.569
this? Yeah, let's do it. All right. Hey, New

00:19:42.569 --> 00:19:48.269
Guy, this goes to you. Um, yeah, uh, hello, uh,

00:19:48.369 --> 00:19:53.150
this is a new guy again, and, um, I guess, uh,

00:19:53.289 --> 00:19:57.250
that the douchebags want me to explain the new

00:19:57.250 --> 00:20:01.289
Disney single app? They don't pay me enough.

00:20:01.690 --> 00:20:04.690
The new Disney fan dating app is called Single

00:20:04.690 --> 00:20:07.450
Riders, created by a TikTok influencer known

00:20:07.450 --> 00:20:10.950
as Joe. The Bearded Nerd. The app is designed

00:20:10.950 --> 00:20:13.170
for single theme park enthusiasts to connect

00:20:13.170 --> 00:20:15.910
romantically and plutonically and was inspired

00:20:15.910 --> 00:20:18.430
by the founder being stood up on a date and going

00:20:18.430 --> 00:20:21.250
to Disney World by himself. Single Riders is

00:20:21.250 --> 00:20:23.549
expected to have the beta version released later

00:20:23.549 --> 00:20:27.710
this year or in early 2026 and plans to expand

00:20:27.710 --> 00:20:30.309
to include other theme parks in the future. Well,

00:20:30.309 --> 00:20:33.750
look, okay, there you guys go. So everybody do

00:20:33.750 --> 00:20:40.170
me a favor and go fuck yourself. So, all right,

00:20:40.170 --> 00:20:42.730
Rob, do you want to go ahead and take this over?

00:20:42.789 --> 00:20:44.609
I know you have some stuff you want to talk about,

00:20:44.690 --> 00:20:47.589
so let's not waste any time. Let's get right

00:20:47.589 --> 00:20:51.049
to you. Yeah, well, since we've been on the serious

00:20:51.049 --> 00:20:54.250
side for the first part of the show, and we're

00:20:54.250 --> 00:20:56.170
going to lighten up, trust me. Oh, yeah, hang

00:20:56.170 --> 00:20:58.170
on, hang on. Here, I know how to do this, Rob.

00:20:58.630 --> 00:21:03.349
Dick, dick, penis, penis, balls, asshole. Asshole.

00:21:04.390 --> 00:21:08.450
Okay, all right. Okay, now you can go. Vagina.

00:21:08.569 --> 00:22:27.880
Gotta include the women. Hook or snot. Does it

00:22:27.880 --> 00:23:26.210
feel hard? May not have been the best choice

00:23:26.210 --> 00:23:33.250
of words, honestly. Probably not. I get where

00:23:33.250 --> 00:23:35.769
she's coming from. I do get where she's coming

00:23:35.769 --> 00:23:38.849
from. I'm going to start reading the story right

00:23:38.849 --> 00:23:42.990
there. Okay, okay. Yeah, Jimmy Kimmel, what he

00:23:42.990 --> 00:23:48.069
said was vile. Go ahead. They're both celebrities.

00:23:48.289 --> 00:23:51.849
They have both made bad choices in comments.

00:23:52.210 --> 00:24:04.400
Mm -hmm. Great question. You know why? Why? Because

00:24:04.400 --> 00:24:07.779
one took up from one side, one took up from the

00:24:07.779 --> 00:24:10.460
other. No, I agree. I know it's a double standard.

00:24:10.640 --> 00:24:15.180
Yes, I agree 100%. Even in celebrities. Yes.

00:24:15.539 --> 00:24:33.049
Yeah. Well, he used to be funny. He isn't funny

00:24:33.049 --> 00:24:36.190
anymore. Now all he does is he speaks the corporate

00:24:36.190 --> 00:24:41.730
line. That's all he does. But still, you see

00:24:41.730 --> 00:24:44.869
what I'm saying? Roseanne had her own TV show

00:24:44.869 --> 00:24:49.349
for years. Mm -hmm. Yeah, no, I agree. Late night

00:24:49.349 --> 00:24:55.230
TV. Yeah. First I've ever heard of him. He was

00:24:55.230 --> 00:24:59.410
kind of known in the... The comedian circle.

00:25:00.490 --> 00:25:04.609
Yeah, a little bit. But he wasn't that big of

00:25:04.609 --> 00:25:07.390
a name. I mean, let's see, what has he done?

00:25:07.589 --> 00:25:11.049
He started off like doing the man show. Remember

00:25:11.049 --> 00:25:16.289
that? Yeah. And there he was, he was, watch his

00:25:16.289 --> 00:25:18.690
stuff there and then watch it now and you tell

00:25:18.690 --> 00:25:21.569
me this guy isn't fake. In my opinion, I think

00:25:21.569 --> 00:25:22.990
he's fake. Right, right, right. I think he's

00:25:22.990 --> 00:25:30.619
towing the party line. You said it. They made

00:25:30.619 --> 00:25:35.359
fun of everything, including made fun of a lot

00:25:35.359 --> 00:25:37.660
of women. I mean, because one time they're sitting

00:25:37.660 --> 00:25:39.119
out there. I remember one of the things that

00:25:39.119 --> 00:25:41.759
they did was, you know, the Women's Suffrage

00:25:41.759 --> 00:25:44.359
Act, right? That's where women are allowed to

00:25:44.359 --> 00:25:48.099
vote. Well, him and another guy, I forgot the

00:25:48.099 --> 00:25:50.119
other guy, but they were sitting there at this

00:25:50.119 --> 00:25:53.539
little desk on like a walking trail. And it said,

00:25:53.720 --> 00:25:59.059
help ban women's suffrage. And people were falling

00:25:59.059 --> 00:26:01.660
for it. They thought suffrage meant suffering,

00:26:01.859 --> 00:26:05.559
not the right to vote. So there's women everywhere

00:26:05.559 --> 00:26:08.000
signing this petition against their right to

00:26:08.000 --> 00:26:11.200
vote. And what they were doing was they were

00:26:11.200 --> 00:26:13.920
illustrating how people don't know what they're

00:26:13.920 --> 00:26:20.240
doing. Right? And it was true. It's like, wow,

00:26:20.380 --> 00:26:27.720
does anyone not know history? Or they just glanced

00:26:27.720 --> 00:26:30.059
at it and didn't look at it good enough, so they'll

00:26:30.059 --> 00:26:32.559
just sign their name to anything. It's like,

00:26:32.579 --> 00:26:34.059
hey, I've got a couple of bills I could have

00:26:34.059 --> 00:26:37.759
you pay if that's what you do. But he was doing

00:26:37.759 --> 00:26:40.980
stuff like that. Stuff that would get him canceled

00:26:40.980 --> 00:26:44.880
just like that nowadays. But I do believe, in

00:26:44.880 --> 00:26:49.339
my opinion, he is towing the company line to

00:26:49.339 --> 00:26:53.059
keep his job. I'm not sure if he believes what

00:26:53.059 --> 00:26:56.720
he says. He could. I don't know, but I'm pretty

00:26:56.720 --> 00:26:59.559
sure that he gets his talking points from the

00:26:59.559 --> 00:27:03.099
corporation, and that's why he's there, because

00:27:03.099 --> 00:27:06.700
he's probably not making a dime from them, because,

00:27:06.700 --> 00:27:10.240
I mean, now Sinclair and Nexstar are pulled out,

00:27:10.279 --> 00:27:13.519
and they are not airing his show at all. They

00:27:13.519 --> 00:27:16.039
said no. They said ABC can hire you back, but

00:27:16.039 --> 00:27:20.380
we're not going to carry you. So, you know, yeah,

00:27:20.460 --> 00:27:23.859
he got hired back, but he has, like, he didn't

00:27:23.859 --> 00:27:52.119
have that many. Yeah. No, that was it. Thank

00:27:52.119 --> 00:27:54.259
you, Rob. I appreciated that story. I think it

00:27:54.259 --> 00:27:56.819
needed to be talked about a little bit. I appreciate

00:27:56.819 --> 00:27:59.500
it. Yeah, I mean, like I said, you know, Jimmy

00:27:59.500 --> 00:28:03.779
Kimmel gets welcomed back in, and Roseanne, she

00:28:03.779 --> 00:28:09.440
really did not say much more than he did, and

00:28:09.440 --> 00:28:14.299
she's banned for life. It's the screwy way we

00:28:14.299 --> 00:28:19.000
do things. Right. It's politics. That's why we

00:28:19.000 --> 00:28:23.319
stay the hell out of it. Move on. Yes. Yep. Yep.

00:28:23.380 --> 00:28:27.140
So, anyhow, let's take our first break. We're

00:28:27.140 --> 00:28:29.019
going to come back with some emails, and I even

00:28:29.019 --> 00:28:32.200
got a featured email. That sound good? All right.

00:28:32.359 --> 00:28:35.380
And we got a couple other episodes. We got nipple

00:28:35.380 --> 00:28:39.279
yanks and all kinds of cool shit. Yeah. All right.

00:28:39.380 --> 00:28:42.839
We shall be right back with said stuff. Right?

00:28:44.180 --> 00:28:54.099
Right. Okay. Mama's so fat, when she was floating

00:28:54.099 --> 00:28:57.259
in the ocean, Spain claimed her as their new

00:28:57.259 --> 00:29:00.920
territory. Harambe used to listen to our original

00:29:00.920 --> 00:29:03.680
show, Two Dipshits and a Cheap Radio Shack Realistic

00:29:03.680 --> 00:29:06.920
Tape Recorder. Harambe does not listen to our

00:29:06.920 --> 00:29:09.000
original show, Two Dipshits and a Cheap Radio

00:29:09.000 --> 00:29:12.559
Shack Realistic Tape Recorder anymore. You might

00:29:12.559 --> 00:29:15.059
ask why Harambe never listens to our original

00:29:15.059 --> 00:29:17.619
show, Two Dipshits and a Cheap Radio Shack Realistic

00:29:17.619 --> 00:29:20.849
Tape Recorder. Well, it's because Harambe is

00:29:20.849 --> 00:29:23.529
dead. Senselessly murdered because some idiot

00:29:23.529 --> 00:29:25.609
did not watch her child properly while looking

00:29:25.609 --> 00:29:28.450
on her phone. Sadly, Harambe does not listen

00:29:28.450 --> 00:29:30.609
to our original show, Two Gibshits and the Cheap

00:29:30.609 --> 00:29:33.130
Radio Shedack Realistic Dig Recorder, or any

00:29:33.130 --> 00:29:37.289
other show. Anymore. Sorry, Harambe. And now,

00:29:37.470 --> 00:29:45.049
Deep Thoughts with Mark. Okay, so I have a shredded

00:29:45.049 --> 00:29:49.140
chicken soft taco. Now I'm going to lay it flat,

00:29:49.220 --> 00:29:52.480
open it up, and then I'm going to roll it tightly

00:29:52.480 --> 00:29:55.799
the other way. Will it then suddenly become a

00:29:55.799 --> 00:30:19.480
taquito? Hmm. I may never know. That man would

00:30:19.480 --> 00:30:23.420
look ridiculous solving crime on a sunny day.

00:30:24.180 --> 00:30:26.920
So you want proof that we love you here at QD

00:30:26.920 --> 00:30:29.660
Spades and Microfilm Central? Here's a proof

00:30:29.660 --> 00:30:33.380
right here about the drink of the week. How to

00:30:33.380 --> 00:30:36.480
make the famous Carnival Cruise Line Miami Vice

00:30:36.480 --> 00:30:39.880
frozen drink. Two ounces Bacardi one, seven ounces

00:30:39.880 --> 00:30:43.279
frozen pina colada mix, three ounces strawberry

00:30:43.279 --> 00:30:46.500
daiquiri mix, half a hurricane glass of ice.

00:30:47.099 --> 00:30:48.700
blended all together and served with a slice

00:30:48.700 --> 00:30:51.079
of pineapple and a maraschino cherry on top.

00:30:51.519 --> 00:30:55.539
Bam, there you go. Miami Vice, carnival style.

00:30:56.980 --> 00:30:59.160
Sometimes Mark appears to be in deep thoughts.

00:30:59.940 --> 00:31:02.220
Usually he is contemplating whether to squeeze

00:31:02.220 --> 00:31:04.480
a toot out or save it up for a better place.

00:31:04.980 --> 00:31:09.240
But I digress. Sometimes he does occasionally

00:31:09.240 --> 00:31:12.480
have a deep thought. Now we look in on his brilliance.

00:31:14.220 --> 00:31:17.920
What if I learned telepathy? And then I tried

00:31:17.920 --> 00:31:20.960
to talk to random people. How would I know if

00:31:20.960 --> 00:31:25.700
they're ignoring me? I guess some questions are

00:31:25.700 --> 00:31:29.420
greater than mankind. Next up, things overheard

00:31:29.420 --> 00:31:34.140
in hell. Well, that little handsome CD is just

00:31:34.140 --> 00:31:39.140
a laptop. Uh -huh. A long time ago, there was

00:31:39.140 --> 00:31:42.049
this party house. And this is when I worked at

00:31:42.049 --> 00:31:45.210
Justin's Steakhouse. Oh, yeah. Okay, and all

00:31:45.210 --> 00:31:46.950
of us partied at night. And the guy that worked

00:31:46.950 --> 00:31:51.950
there, he lived back behind Justin's. And anyhow,

00:31:52.170 --> 00:31:57.150
he was divorced. So he had kind of like a party

00:31:57.150 --> 00:32:00.609
house back there. So me and a buddy of mine were

00:32:00.609 --> 00:32:02.950
sitting back there one night, and we're bored

00:32:02.950 --> 00:32:05.670
as hell. So we're daring each other to do stupid

00:32:05.670 --> 00:32:08.490
shit. So I told him, I said, all right, I forgot

00:32:08.490 --> 00:32:10.349
what he dared me. He probably ran around the

00:32:10.349 --> 00:32:12.869
block making or something like that. Something

00:32:12.869 --> 00:32:15.450
stupid, you know, clucking like a chicken or

00:32:15.450 --> 00:32:19.170
like, I don't know, you know, just stuff that

00:32:19.170 --> 00:32:21.730
we could come up with that we could do. So I'm

00:32:21.730 --> 00:32:26.049
looking around. I look next door. I guess there's

00:32:26.049 --> 00:32:28.450
like some party or something going on and neither

00:32:28.450 --> 00:32:30.430
one of us heard about it. So we're the only two

00:32:30.430 --> 00:32:32.970
troll bags sitting there at that party house.

00:32:33.029 --> 00:32:34.690
We're just sitting there going, fuck, well, this

00:32:34.690 --> 00:32:37.250
is boring as hell. So, you know, we're doing

00:32:37.250 --> 00:32:39.170
this stupid shit that we're daring each other

00:32:39.170 --> 00:32:42.789
to do. So I look out and there's a house next

00:32:42.789 --> 00:32:46.690
to it with this little porch. I go, hey, go out

00:32:46.690 --> 00:32:50.309
there, take a dump on the porch, light it on

00:32:50.309 --> 00:32:54.349
fire, bang on the door, and then come back. Sure.

00:32:55.069 --> 00:32:57.809
No problem. So, hey, I'm sitting there and I

00:32:57.809 --> 00:32:59.990
see this silhouette of him in the moonlight.

00:33:00.329 --> 00:33:05.710
This shadowy figure fucking squatting. See these

00:33:05.710 --> 00:33:09.069
fucking couple of turds come out. And see him

00:33:09.069 --> 00:33:11.450
fucking throw up his shorts real quick. And all

00:33:11.450 --> 00:33:14.130
this is just a shadowy figure. Then I see him

00:33:14.130 --> 00:33:16.990
stooped over. It took him a long time to get

00:33:16.990 --> 00:33:19.250
this fucker lit. I see him over there laboring.

00:33:19.609 --> 00:33:22.470
And I'm like, oh, shit. So then he, like, throws

00:33:22.470 --> 00:33:24.309
some leaves or some shit on it. And finally I

00:33:24.309 --> 00:33:27.849
see this little flame. And I see this, like,

00:33:27.990 --> 00:33:32.210
he kind of clenches up like, yeah! And all of

00:33:32.210 --> 00:33:37.029
this is shadowing, right? So anyhow, I'm like,

00:33:37.069 --> 00:33:40.089
ah, good. Good job, well done. So he comes back.

00:33:40.390 --> 00:33:42.930
He sits down. And we're sitting there waiting,

00:33:43.109 --> 00:33:46.309
waiting, waiting. Nothing. We both end up passing

00:33:46.309 --> 00:33:49.349
out. So at 3 in the morning I wake up and I see

00:33:49.349 --> 00:33:53.190
like this glow. It's kind of an orange glow through

00:33:53.190 --> 00:33:58.329
the blinds. What the hell? And I hear a bunch

00:33:58.329 --> 00:34:01.369
of rustling and shit and people talking. All

00:34:01.369 --> 00:34:04.809
of a sudden it dawned on me. Oh, fuck. Oh, shit.

00:34:04.890 --> 00:34:07.170
He burnt down the house next door. Oh, my God.

00:34:07.589 --> 00:34:11.949
So anyhow, I get up. I go over there. and there's

00:34:11.949 --> 00:34:14.469
like four firefighters with this hose and a guy

00:34:14.469 --> 00:34:16.949
standing out there shaking his head and they're

00:34:16.949 --> 00:34:22.269
all laughing because someone shed his shit on

00:34:22.269 --> 00:34:24.530
the porch lit it and it caught their porch on

00:34:24.530 --> 00:34:29.250
fire because nobody fucking answered the door

00:34:29.250 --> 00:34:31.250
they were probably sound asleep maybe they're

00:34:31.250 --> 00:34:36.179
on sleeping pills or something I'm like, dude,

00:34:36.420 --> 00:34:38.900
dude, wake up. He's like, oh, fuck, man. I'm

00:34:38.900 --> 00:34:43.099
on probation. I'm going to go to jail. I'm like,

00:34:43.159 --> 00:34:45.239
dude, calm down. It didn't burn the house down,

00:34:45.400 --> 00:34:48.119
man. Nobody died or nothing. Listen, they're

00:34:48.119 --> 00:34:51.139
all out there laughing and stuff. And the homeowner's

00:34:51.139 --> 00:34:52.900
like shaking his head like, who the fuck did

00:34:52.900 --> 00:35:00.480
this? So anyhow. Jamar Chase, what in the hell

00:35:00.480 --> 00:35:03.309
did you say this time? This idea has worked out

00:35:03.309 --> 00:35:06.610
so well for you in the past. Just go ahead, fat

00:35:06.610 --> 00:35:08.530
mouth one of the all -time greatest quarterbacks

00:35:08.530 --> 00:35:12.050
in the league ever. Your quote was, without Kelsey,

00:35:12.170 --> 00:35:14.570
Mahomes is just another Kirk Cousins with a headband.

00:35:15.289 --> 00:35:18.570
Well then, Mr. Chase, you should know Kirk Cousins

00:35:18.570 --> 00:35:21.030
very well. You and him have the same amount of

00:35:21.030 --> 00:35:25.030
rings. You remind us of a little lap dog nipping

00:35:25.030 --> 00:35:41.260
at the heels of your daddy. Two douchebags and

00:35:41.260 --> 00:35:43.099
microphone. I'm Mark here in the Kansas City

00:35:43.099 --> 00:35:49.880
area at the Talk is Cheap studio. And I am Rob

00:35:49.880 --> 00:35:52.519
at the beautiful nine -wall arm of Lake of the

00:35:52.519 --> 00:35:58.340
Ozarks in the Doug Blind studio. All right. Should

00:35:58.340 --> 00:36:01.599
we get to some emails, Rob? Yeah, let's do it.

00:36:01.719 --> 00:36:05.139
All right. Hey, guys. I got in trouble for downloading

00:36:05.139 --> 00:36:08.519
your podcast on my work server. I was still listening

00:36:08.519 --> 00:36:11.730
in my car. Or at home. I'm just puzzled why the

00:36:11.730 --> 00:36:15.389
job would give me shit. What I listen to in my

00:36:15.389 --> 00:36:17.869
own office. I don't understand why they would

00:36:17.869 --> 00:36:20.389
have a problem with it. Mark knows where I work.

00:36:20.489 --> 00:36:25.949
Ronnie in Tulsa v. Tulsa King. Oh, damn, Ronnie.

00:36:26.409 --> 00:36:29.369
Well, I think I know why, Ronnie. It's because

00:36:29.369 --> 00:36:34.150
we have this thing here that says we have explicit

00:36:34.150 --> 00:36:38.190
content. And I think the server flags that. is

00:36:38.190 --> 00:36:44.789
what it is. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, that's true.

00:36:45.730 --> 00:36:52.630
But whenever you have some explicit... Explicit

00:36:52.630 --> 00:36:54.769
content at work doesn't always work. They don't

00:36:54.769 --> 00:36:57.389
like people to have that on. It offends some

00:36:57.389 --> 00:37:00.809
people. You know, stuff like that. So, Ronnie,

00:37:00.909 --> 00:37:03.449
thank you. Just listen to us in your car or at

00:37:03.449 --> 00:37:10.329
home or whatever. I'm sorry. Yeah, and he works

00:37:10.329 --> 00:37:13.409
for a pretty big corporation in the energy field.

00:37:13.429 --> 00:37:15.670
Yeah, I know he does. Well, I don't know who

00:37:15.670 --> 00:37:21.010
you're talking about. Yeah, he's big. Yeah, I

00:37:21.010 --> 00:37:23.909
can tell you the name, just not here, because

00:37:23.909 --> 00:37:26.730
he doesn't want to rebuild here, and I understand.

00:37:27.690 --> 00:37:30.789
That's his business, not ours. Yep, yeah. He

00:37:30.789 --> 00:37:32.730
doesn't care if I tell you, I'm sure. It's just

00:37:32.730 --> 00:37:34.469
we don't want to talk about it on here, because

00:37:34.469 --> 00:37:38.369
he doesn't want us to. All right, Ronnie, thank

00:37:38.369 --> 00:37:40.710
you. Appreciate it. Like always, you're the best.

00:37:40.809 --> 00:37:44.210
You are the Tulsa King, and you are royalty here.

00:37:45.510 --> 00:37:49.090
All right, I have an old 8 -track tape that I

00:37:49.090 --> 00:37:52.170
transferred your latest show on the tape. Congratulations

00:37:52.170 --> 00:37:55.389
on having your first 8 -track recording. Jeff

00:37:55.389 --> 00:37:57.489
in New Orleans. Hey, I think it's pretty fucking

00:37:57.489 --> 00:38:01.670
cool. Awesome. Yeah, we're on an 8 -track. I

00:38:01.670 --> 00:38:04.130
want a copy. Yeah, Jeff, can you get us some

00:38:04.130 --> 00:38:06.780
copies? I don't know how many 8 -tracks he has.

00:38:06.820 --> 00:38:09.199
He said he had one old one. 8 -tracks would be

00:38:09.199 --> 00:38:11.380
awesome. Jeff, if I could find you. Just one

00:38:11.380 --> 00:38:14.159
show on each 8 -track. Write us back. That would

00:38:14.159 --> 00:38:16.420
be awesome. Write us back, and if I could find

00:38:16.420 --> 00:38:18.960
a couple of old 8 -tracks, could you throw the

00:38:18.960 --> 00:38:21.519
show on there? Wouldn't that be great to have?

00:38:21.760 --> 00:38:27.099
Just one episode. Yeah, just one episode. That's

00:38:27.099 --> 00:38:30.500
cooler than hell, Jeff. Yes. Thank you. Thank

00:38:30.500 --> 00:38:34.210
you. And how's New Orleans doing? in the Crescent

00:38:34.210 --> 00:38:38.590
City. Oh, great. We will be down soon. We will

00:38:38.590 --> 00:38:43.530
be down soon. Yes. Yep. New Orleans is a fantastic

00:38:43.530 --> 00:38:46.190
place. Love it. Love the food. Love the atmosphere.

00:38:46.389 --> 00:38:51.050
It is just such a unique area. They still have,

00:38:51.130 --> 00:38:52.889
on some of the buildings, they still have Romeo

00:38:52.889 --> 00:38:58.139
catchers. Do you know that? Yeah, yeah. In case

00:38:58.139 --> 00:39:01.139
someone doesn't know, a Romeo catcher is bottles

00:39:01.139 --> 00:39:05.360
or glass that's broken tied on a string. What

00:39:05.360 --> 00:39:07.420
they would do is they would put it on the backside

00:39:07.420 --> 00:39:12.820
of a building so when the man of the house was

00:39:12.820 --> 00:39:15.920
out looking for food or whatever he had to do,

00:39:16.079 --> 00:39:21.719
their belief was that if there was a suitor or

00:39:21.719 --> 00:39:25.000
someone that your girl was messing around with,

00:39:25.369 --> 00:39:27.630
They would have to go out the back, and they

00:39:27.630 --> 00:39:33.590
would cut themselves on this broken glass, but

00:39:33.590 --> 00:39:36.710
the broken glass had rising poison on it, and

00:39:36.710 --> 00:39:38.469
it would kill them. They'd go in the backyard

00:39:38.469 --> 00:39:41.630
and go, Wench, you've been cheating on me. Look

00:39:41.630 --> 00:39:46.230
at this dead suitor. So that was their belief,

00:39:46.389 --> 00:39:48.130
and a lot of those buildings still have them

00:39:48.130 --> 00:39:50.969
on the backside. Do you know that? Isn't that

00:39:50.969 --> 00:39:54.880
something? Really? Yeah, yeah. Yep, a lot of

00:39:54.880 --> 00:39:58.679
pots and pans. I want to talk to you after we

00:39:58.679 --> 00:40:04.739
get done about New Orleans. Sure. I want to talk

00:40:04.739 --> 00:40:06.719
to you when we get done tonight. Let's go on.

00:40:06.880 --> 00:40:09.340
I would almost consider myself an expert in it.

00:40:09.340 --> 00:40:11.000
I want to tell you about the French market, too,

00:40:11.059 --> 00:40:13.300
so remind me. I love the French market there.

00:40:13.679 --> 00:40:18.280
Okay, I'm going to see Doak, or also known as

00:40:18.280 --> 00:40:20.880
Little Ozzie. He's coming to the Dallas area.

00:40:21.099 --> 00:40:23.539
Do you guys like him, Jenny and Fort Worth? I

00:40:23.539 --> 00:40:25.500
actually just found out about him the other day.

00:40:26.500 --> 00:40:31.239
I was telling him. I'll tell you what. Let me

00:40:31.239 --> 00:40:34.639
Google him real quick. How do you spell it? D

00:40:34.639 --> 00:40:40.139
-O -A -K or Little Ozzie. That's how she spelled

00:40:40.139 --> 00:40:43.320
it, D -O -A -K. So I assume it's the right way

00:40:43.320 --> 00:40:48.840
to spell it. But Davey said something about it.

00:40:56.289 --> 00:40:59.889
Okay. D -O -A -K. D -O -A -K. All right. Does

00:40:59.889 --> 00:41:08.530
he look like Ozzy? I'm pulling him up now. Oh,

00:41:08.590 --> 00:41:11.489
my God, dude. Really? All right. Hang on. Let

00:41:11.489 --> 00:41:13.869
me check. All right. Jenny, by the way, thank

00:41:13.869 --> 00:41:31.019
you. He's a wrestler. He is? Uh -huh. It pulled

00:41:31.019 --> 00:41:35.400
up his Facebook page. Oh, fuck yeah, dude. That

00:41:35.400 --> 00:41:39.980
is cooler than shit. But, but, okay, you know

00:41:39.980 --> 00:41:43.800
how you have your profile picture and you got

00:41:43.800 --> 00:41:47.139
your background picture? Uh -huh. His background

00:41:47.139 --> 00:41:52.760
picture is Big Little Brawlers, new Tuesday's

00:41:52.760 --> 00:41:56.039
Discovery. It's like some midget wrestlers in

00:41:56.039 --> 00:42:16.550
a ring. Very fucking cool. I see that. Do you

00:42:16.550 --> 00:42:19.010
see here? He's going to be playing in Pennsylvania.

00:42:20.329 --> 00:42:26.690
And it says, Little Ozzy Live. It says, You do

00:42:26.690 --> 00:42:29.630
sound like me to be completely honest, Ozzy Osbourne.

00:42:29.829 --> 00:42:32.510
The only Ozzy tribute act in the world with Ozzy's

00:42:32.510 --> 00:42:35.369
personal blessing. Standing just four foot eight

00:42:35.369 --> 00:42:37.630
inches tall, Little Ozzy embodies the Prince

00:42:37.630 --> 00:42:40.329
of Darkness. He's been on America's Got Talent,

00:42:40.590 --> 00:42:45.960
the History Channel, NBC. Discovery, Monsters

00:42:45.960 --> 00:42:48.039
of Rock Cruise, and more. Oh, that would have

00:42:48.039 --> 00:42:49.699
been cool to see my Monsters of Rock Cruise,

00:42:49.840 --> 00:42:53.539
wouldn't it? Dude, dude, I'm looking at these

00:42:53.539 --> 00:43:00.280
pictures of him. He is, he looks just like Ozzy.

00:43:01.639 --> 00:43:06.059
Pretty good, yeah. He does. All right, cool,

00:43:06.119 --> 00:43:09.119
wow. Check him out, everybody. Little big brawls.

00:43:09.139 --> 00:43:11.840
I'm going to get back to my next story. All right,

00:43:11.920 --> 00:43:17.639
okay. All right, next one. Rob, could I please

00:43:17.639 --> 00:43:20.519
have your roadkill bread pudding recipe, please?

00:43:20.659 --> 00:43:23.619
I need it for the coming holiday season. Thanks.

00:43:23.840 --> 00:43:26.079
Mitch, Lake Freeman's fishing and tour guide

00:43:26.079 --> 00:43:29.000
instructor. Your roadkill bread pudding, Rob?

00:43:29.159 --> 00:43:32.980
I don't know that much about it. Go ahead. Okay,

00:43:33.039 --> 00:43:37.380
well, here's the thing. I have it ripped down.

00:43:37.519 --> 00:43:39.940
I don't have it ripped much. Okay, Mitch. I will

00:43:39.940 --> 00:43:42.539
have it Sunday night. There you go, Mitch. Sunday

00:43:42.539 --> 00:43:45.159
night you will get Rob's. Sunday night. I promise,

00:43:46.559 --> 00:43:49.099
Mitch. No bullshit. There you go, Mitch. There

00:43:49.099 --> 00:43:51.960
you go. And Clint has to take the first bite.

00:43:52.739 --> 00:43:59.619
I have to go to my recipe thing and find it.

00:43:59.760 --> 00:44:02.860
Yeah, he has a recipe binder. Every recipe is

00:44:02.860 --> 00:44:05.119
there. Yes, I do. No, I do. Oh, you really do?

00:44:05.280 --> 00:44:09.539
I have my mom's recipe card thing. Oh, okay.

00:44:09.659 --> 00:44:17.239
All right. Yeah, I remember those. And it's in

00:44:17.239 --> 00:44:20.880
there. It's in my closet. I just got to... I

00:44:20.880 --> 00:44:23.480
don't have it right there. It's not memorized.

00:44:24.340 --> 00:44:27.920
Okay? Okay. I've got a featured email, but I

00:44:27.920 --> 00:44:30.619
got... I got one more email. Stop being an asshole.

00:44:32.500 --> 00:44:35.780
That's cool. I've got one more email after this,

00:44:35.780 --> 00:44:39.039
a featured email, but this one... Yes. This one

00:44:39.039 --> 00:44:42.619
I found amusing. It says, I downloaded your douchebag

00:44:42.619 --> 00:44:46.119
app, and it sucked. Tessa in Springfield. We

00:44:46.119 --> 00:44:51.320
don't have a douchebag app. No, we don't. I don't

00:44:51.320 --> 00:44:53.099
know what you downloaded, Tessa, but it wasn't

00:44:53.099 --> 00:44:56.800
us. Yeah, we don't have an app. You've got to

00:44:56.800 --> 00:45:00.239
get us on streaming services. Yeah, yeah, so

00:45:00.239 --> 00:45:04.219
if that app sucked, if that is indeed the truth,

00:45:04.400 --> 00:45:05.980
I don't know what to tell you. We've got nothing

00:45:05.980 --> 00:45:14.829
to do with it. Yeah, so there, Tessa. Yeah, I'll

00:45:14.829 --> 00:45:17.789
be there tomorrow. Yeah. So if you see the douchebag

00:45:17.789 --> 00:45:20.730
mobile, ask Rob about the app that we don't have.

00:45:21.090 --> 00:45:27.789
Right? Actually, I'm still waiting for my first

00:45:27.789 --> 00:45:32.590
band to walk up to me. That's disappointing how

00:45:32.590 --> 00:45:44.099
many listeners we have in that area. And I...

00:45:44.099 --> 00:45:52.920
Gotcha. Gotcha. Give me your license and registration.

00:45:53.099 --> 00:45:55.800
Can I have your autograph? Oh, no. I'm driving

00:45:55.800 --> 00:45:58.519
around with two juice bags and a microphone across

00:45:58.519 --> 00:46:02.280
the windshield, you know. Could get me pulled

00:46:02.280 --> 00:46:05.659
over just for a cop to say, Hey, I know you.

00:46:05.739 --> 00:46:09.179
I know you're so, you know. I don't like cops.

00:46:09.340 --> 00:46:19.010
I mean, I like cops. Tell him to play it in the

00:46:19.010 --> 00:46:25.289
jail. Yeah, play it in jail. Oh, Sunrise Beach.

00:46:25.570 --> 00:46:28.510
Hell, I know the chief of police in Sunrise.

00:46:28.849 --> 00:46:44.820
Tell him to play us in the jail. Yes. Yeah. Yeah,

00:46:44.820 --> 00:46:47.539
have him play us in the jail. Jailbirds love

00:46:47.539 --> 00:46:52.000
us. Love us. Yes! Yes! He would love it. He would

00:46:52.000 --> 00:46:54.480
love it. I'm pretty sure last time I looked...

00:46:54.480 --> 00:46:59.920
Oh, go ahead. Yeah, I gotta talk to him. I gotta

00:46:59.920 --> 00:47:02.460
talk to Scott. Last time Rob and I checked, we

00:47:02.460 --> 00:47:13.519
were number one among jails. Can't beat that

00:47:13.519 --> 00:47:15.880
with a fucking iron bull. He was my son at my

00:47:15.880 --> 00:47:20.179
house many a times when he was a Campton police

00:47:20.179 --> 00:47:23.539
officer. Okay. He'd go to my place and get them

00:47:23.539 --> 00:47:28.199
off the streets. All right. Let's get on to the

00:47:28.199 --> 00:47:32.699
featured email here. Help. Yes. Okay. Help. I

00:47:32.699 --> 00:47:35.119
am wanting to go on vacation badly, but I will

00:47:35.119 --> 00:47:38.340
only have an opportunity to get 10 days off maybe

00:47:38.340 --> 00:47:41.019
once every five years. I simply cannot leave

00:47:41.019 --> 00:47:43.980
my business alone. That length of time. I have

00:47:43.980 --> 00:47:47.880
one shot at vacation early next year. Mark, you

00:47:47.880 --> 00:47:50.159
seem to be the travel expert, so I guess I'm

00:47:50.159 --> 00:47:55.380
asking you. Yeah, pretty much. I am having trouble

00:47:55.380 --> 00:47:58.340
deciding between the ABC Islands. Could you maybe

00:47:58.340 --> 00:48:01.619
give me a rundown on all? I'm sure you spoke

00:48:01.619 --> 00:48:04.179
about these islands many times. I have, but that's

00:48:04.179 --> 00:48:06.719
cool. Thanks. I appreciate any tips you can give

00:48:06.719 --> 00:48:10.460
me. Teresa in Wilmette. Wilmette is Chicago,

00:48:10.840 --> 00:48:13.840
the north. North Shore. Yeah. Pretty exclusive

00:48:13.840 --> 00:48:16.119
area. I have a rebuttal. I have a rebuttal, but

00:48:16.119 --> 00:48:21.739
go ahead. Yeah. Nice area. So, okay. Bonaire

00:48:21.739 --> 00:48:24.679
is the most primitive and would be the cheapest.

00:48:25.420 --> 00:48:28.400
You go to Priceline or other VRBOs or whatever,

00:48:28.579 --> 00:48:31.039
and you can see some pretty good deals in Bonaire.

00:48:31.739 --> 00:48:34.000
But the thing about Bonaire is, if you're looking

00:48:34.000 --> 00:48:35.960
for an all -inclusive, I think there's only two

00:48:35.960 --> 00:48:38.480
on the whole island, and the rest are just like...

00:48:38.989 --> 00:48:41.090
Like places that you can go to, you know, and

00:48:41.090 --> 00:48:42.849
then you got to go, you know, find your own food

00:48:42.849 --> 00:48:45.510
or whatever, you know, go eat somewhere or buy

00:48:45.510 --> 00:48:47.690
some from a store or something and do it yourself.

00:48:48.789 --> 00:48:51.570
And on that island, it's so primitive. There's

00:48:51.570 --> 00:48:54.469
a lot of wild donkeys up in the mountains, many

00:48:54.469 --> 00:48:58.230
goats and chickens. And it's desert mountains

00:48:58.230 --> 00:49:01.130
and it's an amazing place. It's beautiful. And

00:49:01.130 --> 00:49:03.469
the animals are kind of sad because they're all

00:49:03.469 --> 00:49:05.989
really skinny because they literally have to

00:49:05.989 --> 00:49:10.309
eat cactus. They have to eat a certain kind of

00:49:10.309 --> 00:49:13.590
cactus that all the little thorns don't get in

00:49:13.590 --> 00:49:16.010
their mouth. And they have to get water from

00:49:16.010 --> 00:49:18.329
that, too. So they're pretty skinny looking.

00:49:18.369 --> 00:49:20.030
And they look bad, but they're all alive and

00:49:20.030 --> 00:49:26.789
they're okay. Aruba, the Marriott at Eagles Beach

00:49:26.789 --> 00:49:29.409
is my suggestion if you want to go to Aruba.

00:49:30.110 --> 00:49:34.630
They did offer inclusive, all -inclusive or not,

00:49:34.730 --> 00:49:36.570
unless they change it. You could do either one.

00:49:37.210 --> 00:49:39.829
There's a lot of places over near Eagles Beach,

00:49:40.050 --> 00:49:43.369
and there's golf courses and stuff like that

00:49:43.369 --> 00:49:48.550
that are on Aruba. Aruba is a pretty well -off

00:49:48.550 --> 00:49:52.650
area too. Bonaire is not. There's not a whole

00:49:52.650 --> 00:49:55.869
lot of money there yet. Aruba, there's quite

00:49:55.869 --> 00:49:58.289
a bit of money there, and they have quite a few

00:49:58.289 --> 00:50:00.510
places you can go to, all -inclusive places.

00:50:00.750 --> 00:50:05.860
And Curacao... Aruba's great. The beach at Aruba,

00:50:05.880 --> 00:50:08.199
the water color is perfect. It's vibrant. It's

00:50:08.199 --> 00:50:11.980
beautiful. It's pretty safe, even though I know

00:50:11.980 --> 00:50:14.139
that's where Natalie Holloway disappeared, but,

00:50:14.139 --> 00:50:19.760
you know. But it's a pretty safe place. Curacao

00:50:19.760 --> 00:50:22.900
has the most amazing water color for snorkeling

00:50:22.900 --> 00:50:25.880
or scuba diving. The island is fairly wealthy

00:50:25.880 --> 00:50:29.739
and is modern. They have a floating bridge and

00:50:29.739 --> 00:50:33.639
the Queen Juliana Bridge. that is 185 feet tall

00:50:33.639 --> 00:50:36.239
and is scenic with the mountainscape and the

00:50:36.239 --> 00:50:39.639
harbors in the downtown areas. Curacao is probably

00:50:39.639 --> 00:50:41.940
the most expensive, but Aruba is not that far

00:50:41.940 --> 00:50:45.639
behind on expensive. I love all the islands and

00:50:45.639 --> 00:50:47.699
wouldn't protest going to any island mentioned.

00:50:47.920 --> 00:50:55.039
So here's what it is. Shit. Sorry. Teresa in

00:50:55.039 --> 00:51:00.030
Ramat. Okay. And Teresa, here's what I'm trying

00:51:00.030 --> 00:51:03.150
to say, I guess, in a nutshell. If you want a

00:51:03.150 --> 00:51:06.289
primitive vacation that's cheaper, go to Bonaire.

00:51:06.789 --> 00:51:09.869
You won't be bothered. I mean, it's pretty primitive.

00:51:09.969 --> 00:51:11.969
I mean, they're building more stuff, and it's

00:51:11.969 --> 00:51:14.570
going to be like the other two, but it's not

00:51:14.570 --> 00:51:17.849
there yet. But if you want to be pampered, I

00:51:17.849 --> 00:51:21.380
suggest Aruba or Curacao. But if you just want

00:51:21.380 --> 00:51:24.079
amazing watercolor and really cool places and

00:51:24.079 --> 00:51:26.980
a really cool downtown area and all that and

00:51:26.980 --> 00:51:28.960
the floating bridge and the Queen Juliana Bridge

00:51:28.960 --> 00:51:31.820
and all that, Curacao is the place to go. Love

00:51:31.820 --> 00:51:34.579
them all. Out of all of them, I would say my

00:51:34.579 --> 00:51:38.480
absolute favorite is Curacao and then probably

00:51:38.480 --> 00:51:41.280
Aruba and then Bonaire. But, man, I could see

00:51:41.280 --> 00:51:43.980
how anyone could love any of those places. So

00:51:43.980 --> 00:51:47.320
I hope I did you some good, Teresa. So there

00:51:47.320 --> 00:51:49.760
you go. So, all right, Rob, we turn it to you.

00:51:50.829 --> 00:51:59.849
Okay, well, I'm answering Teresa now. Okay. My

00:51:59.849 --> 00:52:27.449
suggestion is, if you live in Chicago... I don't

00:52:27.449 --> 00:52:29.369
know if she's necessarily trying to keep it cheap.

00:52:30.389 --> 00:52:34.110
Well, that's what I'm saying. Hey, I'm a cheap

00:52:34.110 --> 00:52:39.869
person, dude. Yeah, okay. I'm just saying. She

00:52:39.869 --> 00:52:42.690
didn't necessarily say she wanted to go on a

00:52:42.690 --> 00:52:45.730
cruise, Mark. No, no, no, I know that. That's

00:52:45.730 --> 00:52:58.380
why I was there. Okay. You don't have to go on

00:52:58.380 --> 00:53:00.820
the ocean. You go in the mountains. That's what

00:53:00.820 --> 00:53:02.800
I'm saying. Oh, no, no, no. No, that's cool.

00:53:02.860 --> 00:53:07.940
I got it. I got it. That's cool. All right. Yeah,

00:53:08.559 --> 00:53:11.320
I like that rebuttal. Thank you, Rob. That's

00:53:11.320 --> 00:53:13.639
my plan. That's going to be my next getaway.

00:53:13.980 --> 00:53:16.400
I don't know if I'll ever make it on cruise also.

00:53:17.679 --> 00:53:19.400
You know what? I'd rather see the mountains.

00:53:19.760 --> 00:53:21.760
I think you're more of a mountain guy anyhow.

00:53:26.639 --> 00:53:31.039
Yeah, so. Anyhow, well, I think we probably did

00:53:31.039 --> 00:53:38.900
her some good. I hope. So, all right, Rob, we

00:53:38.900 --> 00:53:42.340
turn it to you. All right, well, I'm going to

00:53:42.340 --> 00:53:46.280
go back to the Coldplay Kiss Cam because there

00:53:46.280 --> 00:54:37.269
is an update. Oh, okay. This is on July. The

00:54:37.269 --> 00:54:40.989
company said after Biden sat down that their

00:54:40.989 --> 00:54:44.690
leaders were expected to set the standard and

00:54:44.690 --> 00:54:48.210
invoke conduct and accountability and recently

00:54:48.210 --> 00:54:56.610
that standard was not met. Okay, here we go.

00:54:57.730 --> 00:55:35.139
Here's where it changes. Uh -huh. Uh -huh. That

00:55:35.139 --> 00:55:43.800
makes it completely different then. Uh -huh.

00:57:07.460 --> 00:57:43.119
I would agree. Okay, listen. Okay. He was on

00:57:43.119 --> 00:58:20.480
a date at the same concert. Okay, I get it. If

00:58:20.480 --> 00:58:26.280
he was already in another... Yeah, they've been

00:58:26.280 --> 00:58:31.260
separated. He was at the same concert. Oh, yeah.

00:58:31.440 --> 00:58:37.960
I get it now. Mm -hmm. Yeah. Okay, I mean...

00:58:47.690 --> 00:58:51.630
I think you're probably right. But you know what?

00:58:51.769 --> 00:58:55.309
Her husband was already there with another date.

00:58:55.630 --> 00:58:59.670
They'd already been separated. So she got, in

00:58:59.670 --> 00:59:02.769
my opinion, she got the raw end of the deal.

00:59:02.989 --> 00:59:09.429
I think so. I agree. You know, okay, a lot of

00:59:09.429 --> 00:59:12.510
this can be blamed on him because of his action

00:59:12.510 --> 00:59:14.449
when they showed him on the camera. Nobody would

00:59:14.449 --> 00:59:16.210
have thought anything if he didn't duck down

00:59:16.210 --> 00:59:26.460
suddenly. Yeah, it might have been his push to

00:59:26.460 --> 00:59:30.159
try to get in there. Yeah, of course. But the

00:59:30.159 --> 00:59:33.199
thing is, if he wouldn't have acted so guilty,

00:59:33.599 --> 00:59:36.199
it wouldn't have been a big deal at all. He'd

00:59:36.199 --> 00:59:38.019
just been another guy holding a chick at the

00:59:38.019 --> 00:59:45.280
Coldplay concert. Yeah, and that's because he

00:59:45.280 --> 00:59:47.679
ducked down so quick when they showed him his

00:59:47.679 --> 00:59:50.960
kind of like a, hey. I think I know what's going

00:59:50.960 --> 00:59:53.079
on over there. So, yeah, I mean, he's got no

00:59:53.079 --> 00:59:56.780
one to blame but himself, really. So, yeah, but

00:59:56.780 --> 00:59:58.760
she got the raw end of the deal. I agree with

00:59:58.760 --> 01:00:01.519
that. Yeah. All right. Well, we have a nipple

01:00:01.519 --> 01:00:04.260
yank and all that good stuff. You want to take

01:00:04.260 --> 01:00:06.539
our second break and then come back with it?

01:00:06.619 --> 01:00:09.659
Yeah. Yeah. All righty. And then we have some

01:00:09.659 --> 01:00:12.039
ass paddlings if we get to them. If not, you'll

01:00:12.039 --> 01:00:15.300
get them on the next episode. So, all right.

01:00:15.320 --> 01:00:18.679
No, no, I think we'll have time. Okay, we'll

01:00:18.679 --> 01:00:20.929
have time. All right. Yeah, we'll have time.

01:00:21.730 --> 01:00:26.530
Rob Rad, a man. It's still in there. Rob consumed

01:00:26.530 --> 01:00:30.230
small doses of radiation for 30 years. 30 years.

01:00:30.250 --> 01:00:35.469
Rob is immune to radiation. Watch him glow. Watch

01:00:35.469 --> 01:00:39.489
Rob Rad jump up 25 feet and grab birds out of

01:00:39.489 --> 01:00:43.769
thin air with his mouth. With his mouth. Rob

01:00:43.769 --> 01:00:46.650
can now be invented for children's parties and

01:00:46.650 --> 01:00:50.480
bar mitzvahs. That's right. Come on and rent

01:00:50.480 --> 01:00:53.900
you a Rob today. That's right. Come by and rent

01:00:53.900 --> 01:00:59.340
Rob for a day. A day. A day. Watch Rob consume

01:00:59.340 --> 01:01:03.139
seven bottles a night and still break dance and

01:01:03.139 --> 01:01:07.380
moonwalk. Watch Rob Red. Fart down a building.

01:01:07.719 --> 01:01:11.929
Fart down a building. Rob Red. who assumes no

01:01:11.929 --> 01:01:14.329
responsibility whatsoever. He is not a babysitter,

01:01:14.349 --> 01:01:15.730
and he doesn't give one hell of a shit about

01:01:15.730 --> 01:01:17.690
your children. Please remember to corral every

01:01:17.690 --> 01:01:20.030
little bastard you have before Rob gets there,

01:01:20.150 --> 01:01:22.610
and Walt will not put up with any backtalk. He

01:01:22.610 --> 01:01:24.750
will promptly get them in the place. Rob Rehag

01:01:24.750 --> 01:01:26.889
assumes no responsibility for anything that could

01:01:26.889 --> 01:01:29.590
be stolen from his visit. Rob Rehag has no responsibility

01:01:29.590 --> 01:01:31.829
whatsoever in any help him of any situation.

01:01:32.769 --> 01:01:35.170
Read a Rob today. Have you ever wondered what

01:01:35.170 --> 01:01:37.369
something is or not? Have you ever looked at

01:01:37.369 --> 01:01:39.469
something and said, I wonder what the origin

01:01:39.469 --> 01:01:43.239
of that is? Well, so have we. That's why we give

01:01:43.239 --> 01:01:49.619
you The Origin of. The Origin of the Goatee.

01:01:49.699 --> 01:01:51.920
The Goatee is a beard style that dates back to

01:01:51.920 --> 01:01:54.699
ancient Greece and Rome and is named for its

01:01:54.699 --> 01:01:58.219
resemblance to a goat's beard. The Goatee has

01:01:58.219 --> 01:02:00.340
been worn by many famous men throughout history,

01:02:00.420 --> 01:02:04.039
including Uncle Sam, Henry M. Hoyt, and Mr. Spock.

01:02:04.489 --> 01:02:06.869
The gob ham was often depicted with a goatee,

01:02:06.869 --> 01:02:09.530
and in medieval and renaissance art, Satan was

01:02:09.530 --> 01:02:12.369
depicted with a goatee as well. The goatee became

01:02:12.369 --> 01:02:15.969
popular again in the 1940s as a defining trait

01:02:15.969 --> 01:02:19.210
of the beatniks and jazz musicians. It fell out

01:02:19.210 --> 01:02:22.050
of favor again in the 1960s, but became fashionable

01:02:22.050 --> 01:02:25.670
again in the 1990s and 2000s. The term goatee

01:02:25.670 --> 01:02:28.829
originated in the late 20th century. It was originally

01:02:28.829 --> 01:02:36.269
called a goatee. is this a new feature? What's

01:02:36.269 --> 01:02:41.630
inside Mark's head? Sounds stupid to me. Why

01:02:41.630 --> 01:02:45.030
do people say tuna fish sandwich when nobody

01:02:45.030 --> 01:02:49.590
says chicken bird sandwich? Our constant pursuit

01:02:49.590 --> 01:02:53.329
for a real knee slapper. It's strange insults

01:02:53.329 --> 01:02:57.530
from an alien. Real hilarity. May, your five

01:02:57.530 --> 01:02:59.909
-year -old neighbor have all their violin lessons

01:02:59.909 --> 01:03:17.750
during all of your hangovers. You watch the news.

01:03:18.070 --> 01:03:22.489
It looks grim. Is an apocalypse inevitable? We

01:03:22.489 --> 01:03:24.869
suggest you download all our podcasts beforehand

01:03:24.869 --> 01:03:29.210
and have multiple mobile chargers. We have a

01:03:29.210 --> 01:03:36.329
post -apocalypse. Make sure and have plenty of

01:03:36.329 --> 01:03:40.409
rope, strong, threaded, durable rope with a rating

01:03:40.409 --> 01:03:44.250
of 400 pounds or greater. You need to know basic

01:03:44.250 --> 01:03:47.170
knots, so you can go to the library and download

01:03:47.170 --> 01:03:49.769
the Boy Scouts Handbook and have a reference

01:03:49.769 --> 01:03:53.409
to slip knots and other essential rope tricks.

01:03:53.849 --> 01:03:57.090
Rope can be used in traps to catch food or would

01:03:57.090 --> 01:04:01.090
-be predators. Rope is a key ingredient in post

01:04:01.090 --> 01:04:05.500
-apocalypse survival. Yes, it's true. Mark is

01:04:05.500 --> 01:04:08.500
an old bastard. It's also true that Mark uses

01:04:08.500 --> 01:04:11.800
a lot of ibuprofen. But Mark would like to tell

01:04:11.800 --> 01:04:15.599
you, if you see any pictures of him roofing ibuprofen,

01:04:15.699 --> 01:04:19.159
it's obviously fake, and you're to take the pictures

01:04:19.159 --> 01:04:22.460
and tear them up immediately. A lot of podcasts

01:04:22.460 --> 01:04:25.980
just come from a can. Here at Two Douchebags

01:04:25.980 --> 01:04:33.340
and a Microphone, we pour our own podcasts. Hey

01:04:33.340 --> 01:04:36.039
there, slap nuts. It's time for the Creeps Music

01:04:36.039 --> 01:04:41.619
News. Hey, my little pumpkin seeds. This is Johnny

01:04:41.619 --> 01:04:45.400
Rohypnol with your music news. Sepultura guitarist

01:04:45.400 --> 01:04:47.980
Andreas Kaiser spoke about the band's plans to

01:04:47.980 --> 01:04:50.760
release new music with Sepultura's current touring

01:04:50.760 --> 01:04:54.000
drummer, 23 -year -old Grayson Neckerman, who

01:04:54.000 --> 01:04:56.239
officially replaced Sepultura's longtime drummer,

01:04:56.440 --> 01:05:00.739
Elroy Casagrande, in February 2024. He said,

01:05:00.900 --> 01:05:03.559
as transcribed by blahblahbrow .no, we recorded

01:05:03.559 --> 01:05:06.340
four new songs with Grayson on drums. I don't

01:05:06.340 --> 01:05:09.139
think anybody knows that, but there you go. We

01:05:09.139 --> 01:05:11.599
have four new songs, and we have the intention

01:05:11.599 --> 01:05:14.780
next year to release them in an EP. This is Johnny

01:05:14.780 --> 01:05:17.960
Rohypnol. That was your music news, and remember,

01:05:18.119 --> 01:05:27.650
bar chords are bullshit. Strange, but true. In

01:05:27.650 --> 01:05:30.449
2011, a 29 -year -old Australian man discovered

01:05:30.449 --> 01:05:33.409
an ATM glitch enabling him to withdraw cash far

01:05:33.409 --> 01:05:35.989
beyond his account balance. Over a span of five

01:05:35.989 --> 01:05:38.929
months, he splurged $1 .6 million of the bank's

01:05:38.929 --> 01:05:42.349
funds on lavish parties, private jets, international

01:05:42.349 --> 01:05:45.050
vacations, and even covered his friend's university

01:05:45.050 --> 01:05:51.210
fees. Now that's a friend. Hey, look. I think

01:05:51.210 --> 01:05:53.409
we found land. Oh my God, I think we're safe.

01:05:54.369 --> 01:06:02.650
Oh no! It's the island of horrible jokes. Elevator

01:06:02.650 --> 01:06:23.170
music is horrible. On so many levels. Two douchebags,

01:06:23.309 --> 01:06:25.050
a microphone, I'm Mark here in the Kansas City

01:06:25.050 --> 01:06:30.610
area at the Talk is Cheap studio. And I am Rob

01:06:30.610 --> 01:06:33.570
at the beautiful Niagara Arm of Lake of the Ozarks.

01:06:33.750 --> 01:06:39.789
Or now, in the Dub Boy studio. All right. Well,

01:06:39.909 --> 01:06:43.210
like I said previously, we have a nipple yank,

01:06:43.250 --> 01:06:46.469
an ass cheek bite, and a nut flick. And this

01:06:46.469 --> 01:06:49.590
is all playful, no mean -spirited nothing. This

01:06:49.590 --> 01:06:51.909
is just because, you know, a little shock value,

01:06:52.070 --> 01:06:54.849
a little ha -ha. That's all this is. We love

01:06:54.849 --> 01:06:57.170
all the people we do this to, and it's friendly.

01:06:57.329 --> 01:06:59.750
Do what? Just for us to get our jollies off.

01:06:59.929 --> 01:07:02.090
Yeah, yeah, and that's what this life is about.

01:07:02.210 --> 01:07:05.969
We want to get our jollies. And if you don't

01:07:05.969 --> 01:07:08.949
know what jollies off means, Google it. Yes,

01:07:08.949 --> 01:07:12.449
there you go. So, all right. So, Rob, go ahead

01:07:12.449 --> 01:07:15.800
with yours first. Google everything. I don't

01:07:15.800 --> 01:07:21.519
care what it is. Fucking Google it. Okay, my

01:07:21.519 --> 01:07:26.980
nipple yet. And this was a tough one because

01:07:26.980 --> 01:07:31.579
this is going to be a challenge. Uh -oh. Goes

01:07:31.579 --> 01:07:37.460
to actor Steve Buscemi. Steve Buscemi, really?

01:07:37.940 --> 01:07:40.739
Oh, my. Yes. That is going to be a challenge.

01:07:46.199 --> 01:07:49.519
Okay. We have covered him enough. We know he

01:07:49.519 --> 01:07:53.039
is a badass. Yes, we love him here. In real life.

01:07:53.139 --> 01:07:57.559
He can whip your ass in real life. Yep. I want

01:07:57.559 --> 01:08:00.119
to give him a nipple yank because I think I could

01:08:00.119 --> 01:08:05.719
outrun him. Okay. You very well. How old is he

01:08:05.719 --> 01:08:08.360
now? If not, you're going to be looking for a

01:08:08.360 --> 01:08:12.780
new co -host. Let's see. I wonder how old he

01:08:12.780 --> 01:08:23.710
is. Okay, he is 67. All right, you'll be able

01:08:23.710 --> 01:08:28.670
to outrun him. And I'll be 57 in March. Yeah,

01:08:28.729 --> 01:08:36.689
he got 10 on me. Okay. I think it'd be a good

01:08:36.689 --> 01:08:41.170
race, honestly. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Boy,

01:08:41.789 --> 01:08:45.750
he looks different nowadays. Oh, yeah. See, that's

01:08:45.750 --> 01:08:47.689
what I'm thinking. See, he's got the Hollywood

01:08:47.689 --> 01:08:50.659
life. I got the hard life. Yeah, yeah. Well,

01:08:50.659 --> 01:08:54.220
I mean... I think I'm up for it. We'll see. I'm

01:08:54.220 --> 01:08:56.460
not sure if he exactly looks terrific anymore

01:08:56.460 --> 01:08:59.000
or anything like that, but okay, that's all right.

01:08:59.039 --> 01:09:03.399
I don't care. He's cool. Love him. Okay, now

01:09:03.399 --> 01:09:26.899
my ass cheek bite. Okay. Okay. Lizzie Hale. Oh,

01:09:26.920 --> 01:09:30.460
that would be fun. Yeah. Yeah. Princess would

01:09:30.460 --> 01:09:34.039
bite that ass. Yeah, you peel off those tight

01:09:34.039 --> 01:09:36.960
leather pants. There you go. Yeah. Yeah, get

01:09:36.960 --> 01:09:41.960
that sweet peach -colored meat on her ass. Right?

01:09:43.739 --> 01:10:31.640
And finally... Yes? Yeah. Okay. Ooh. Okay. I

01:10:31.640 --> 01:10:35.119
think that's a great idea. And I would bring

01:10:35.119 --> 01:10:40.819
a shotgun with me, just in case. Those are interesting.

01:10:41.100 --> 01:10:43.520
I loved every one of them, Rob. You got a lot

01:10:43.520 --> 01:10:48.600
of thought in. I put a lot of thought into them.

01:10:49.239 --> 01:10:54.579
You did, I can tell. My nipple yank goes to the

01:10:54.579 --> 01:11:02.060
one and only George Foreman, Sr. I'm pretty sure

01:11:02.060 --> 01:11:04.979
he would. Yeah, he's older. They're hanging out

01:11:04.979 --> 01:11:07.779
there. Oh, yeah. It's easy grab. Yeah, and I

01:11:07.779 --> 01:11:09.619
think I could probably outrun him, even with

01:11:09.619 --> 01:11:12.340
the fake knee and everything. I think I could

01:11:12.340 --> 01:11:14.100
still outrun him because he's probably in his

01:11:14.100 --> 01:11:18.220
70s, well into his 70s. I'm pretty sure. So I

01:11:18.220 --> 01:11:20.880
think I could probably run away from him, and

01:11:20.880 --> 01:11:22.859
he couldn't catch me. So, therefore, I could

01:11:22.859 --> 01:11:27.000
give him a nipple yank pretty easily, I would

01:11:27.000 --> 01:11:36.020
think. George Foreman. Age. I'll tell you in

01:11:36.020 --> 01:11:39.460
a second if I can outrun him or not. 76. Yes,

01:11:39.680 --> 01:11:42.100
I can outrun him. Okay, George Corbin's definitely

01:11:42.100 --> 01:11:46.180
getting the nipple yank. All right. Ass cheek

01:11:46.180 --> 01:11:54.079
bite goes to Joe Elliott of Def Leppard. He does

01:11:54.079 --> 01:11:56.760
have a nice little butt. Yeah, he'd be fun to

01:11:56.760 --> 01:11:59.100
bite his ass, wouldn't he? Just see him go, hey,

01:11:59.100 --> 01:12:02.399
hey, hey. hey, what's going on back there? Who

01:12:02.399 --> 01:12:04.760
the fuck's nibbling? Hey, hey, get off there.

01:12:05.319 --> 01:12:09.699
So, yep. And then finally, my nutflick goes to

01:12:09.699 --> 01:12:18.039
Ryan Seacrest. He almost made it. I just love

01:12:18.039 --> 01:12:20.319
to see his reaction. You walk up and go, hey,

01:12:20.340 --> 01:12:26.659
Ryan, man, I love the work you done. Bam. It's

01:12:26.659 --> 01:12:29.319
friendly, Ryan. I meant nothing by it, man. It's

01:12:29.319 --> 01:12:31.539
a friendly nut flick. It wasn't a mean one. So

01:12:31.539 --> 01:12:36.359
get back up off the ground. It's okay. Where

01:12:36.359 --> 01:12:40.600
I find it kind of funny is we both picked celebrity

01:12:40.600 --> 01:12:45.399
reality stars. Yeah, we did, didn't we? Something

01:12:45.399 --> 01:12:55.160
about it. It's like they all deserve it. The

01:12:55.160 --> 01:13:00.020
reality show. Yes. Yeah, I know. Joe Rogan, the

01:13:00.020 --> 01:13:04.739
podcaster. How many shows does he come out with

01:13:04.739 --> 01:13:08.619
a week? Two or three? I don't know. Oh, well,

01:13:08.760 --> 01:13:12.359
it doesn't matter. All right. I've got some ass

01:13:12.359 --> 01:13:14.199
paddlings or you got a story you want to go to

01:13:14.199 --> 01:13:24.729
first? Yeah, and I'm working. Well, I'm not working

01:13:24.729 --> 01:13:27.970
on it. Jeffy X is working on another list. He's

01:13:27.970 --> 01:13:31.670
very sorry. He's been busy. Yeah, yeah. He's

01:13:31.670 --> 01:13:34.930
been planning. He has a bar mitzvah planning

01:13:34.930 --> 01:13:37.590
service that he does besides, you know, going

01:13:37.590 --> 01:13:39.649
around and getting these focus panel results.

01:13:40.430 --> 01:13:43.369
Yeah, he told me that. Yeah, yeah. He plans bar

01:13:43.369 --> 01:13:46.989
mitzvahs for kids, and he's been very busy here

01:13:46.989 --> 01:13:51.130
lately with bar mitzvahs planning them. So that's

01:13:51.130 --> 01:13:54.989
where he's been. with his Sergeant Pepper's outfit

01:13:54.989 --> 01:13:57.569
on still that's pitch black because he won't

01:13:57.569 --> 01:14:03.909
take it off. So, okay. Ass paddling started out

01:14:03.909 --> 01:14:05.869
like this. Topher and I were on a little mini

01:14:05.869 --> 01:14:07.850
vacay in Florida. You know, we need a little

01:14:07.850 --> 01:14:10.630
time off. So we went there and we're going to

01:14:10.630 --> 01:14:12.750
do some podcasting and hang out at the beach.

01:14:13.250 --> 01:14:15.989
So one morning we're walking down the beach and

01:14:15.989 --> 01:14:20.390
the sun was coming up and the sunlight was glistening

01:14:20.390 --> 01:14:24.579
off of our hair. And a nice cool breeze. Our

01:14:24.579 --> 01:14:26.359
hair was blowing back and we're walking on the

01:14:26.359 --> 01:14:29.960
beach just enjoying ourselves. When I stub my

01:14:29.960 --> 01:14:33.579
toe on something and Topher looks down and goes,

01:14:33.640 --> 01:14:35.899
that looks like a genie's bottle. I go, it is

01:14:35.899 --> 01:14:38.199
not. And then I go, oh shit, dude. I walked over

01:14:38.199 --> 01:14:39.880
there and picked it up. This is a genie's bottle.

01:14:40.020 --> 01:14:42.460
He's like, yeah, no shit. I was like, okay. So

01:14:42.460 --> 01:14:46.319
I pop it open. A genie comes out. He hated us.

01:14:46.399 --> 01:14:48.619
He's very condescending. He couldn't stand us.

01:14:49.069 --> 01:14:51.569
He thought we were rogues. He thought we was

01:14:51.569 --> 01:14:55.909
morons, you know. So, you know, Topher and I

01:14:55.909 --> 01:14:57.930
were like, yeah, yeah, we get two wishes or three

01:14:57.930 --> 01:15:00.789
wishes. And he goes, nope, nope, nope, nope.

01:15:00.850 --> 01:15:03.149
He goes, you guys watch way too much TV. One

01:15:03.149 --> 01:15:08.270
wish. One wish only. Make it count. Cure cancer.

01:15:08.609 --> 01:15:11.789
World peace. Environment. Do something good.

01:15:12.149 --> 01:15:13.930
And Topher and I looked at each other and said,

01:15:14.029 --> 01:15:17.319
we want to ass paddle people invisible. So the

01:15:17.319 --> 01:15:19.739
genie, he rolled his eyes very reluctantly and

01:15:19.739 --> 01:15:21.960
said, I have to because you guys set me free.

01:15:22.880 --> 01:15:26.119
And he said, all right, once a month you can

01:15:26.119 --> 01:15:29.079
turn invisible and ask paddle people that need

01:15:29.079 --> 01:15:33.600
it. And Rob was granted special permission to

01:15:33.600 --> 01:15:36.000
turn invisible and paddle people with us because

01:15:36.000 --> 01:15:40.859
he's a douchebag too now. And Rob, I guess your

01:15:40.859 --> 01:15:42.739
meeting with the genie didn't go so well. He

01:15:42.739 --> 01:15:46.899
didn't like you either, did he? No. as far as

01:15:46.899 --> 01:15:48.819
what he's getting there. Oh, is he starting to

01:15:48.819 --> 01:15:53.159
like you now? Okay. Kind of, yeah. Well, he gave

01:15:53.159 --> 01:15:58.000
me special permission for different categories.

01:15:59.399 --> 01:16:01.840
Okay. Well, all right. I guess he does like you

01:16:01.840 --> 01:16:04.039
somewhat then. He could have just said no. All

01:16:04.039 --> 01:16:07.479
right. Well, the first person on the Ask Paddling

01:16:07.479 --> 01:16:13.539
list is Travis Kelsey. Hey, man. What more is

01:16:13.539 --> 01:16:17.630
there to say? I love the man. I love him, too,

01:16:17.829 --> 01:16:21.829
but he ain't done shit. He needs an ass paddling.

01:16:21.869 --> 01:16:23.810
Maybe this ass paddling will wake him up a little

01:16:23.810 --> 01:16:29.609
bit. Hit him with Old Sparky. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:16:29.670 --> 01:16:31.869
Oh, that's the other thing, too. Old Sparky is

01:16:31.869 --> 01:16:34.470
a replica. Yeah, Old Sparky. This is a replica.

01:16:34.869 --> 01:16:38.170
Old Sparky. Yeah, this is a replica of Old Sparky

01:16:38.170 --> 01:16:41.710
that came from Cass Midway. Old Sparky was administered

01:16:41.710 --> 01:16:44.810
to me many times. He had a very long stock. and

01:16:44.810 --> 01:16:48.350
he had a very long paddle board on it with holes

01:16:48.350 --> 01:16:52.170
in it for extra air so you could swing that even

01:16:52.170 --> 01:16:55.430
further with a long stalk. It hurt, and it was

01:16:55.430 --> 01:16:57.430
made out of hardwood, and it was very thick,

01:16:57.569 --> 01:17:00.109
and it was administered enough to me to know

01:17:00.109 --> 01:17:03.930
that I did not like it very well. Okay, and I

01:17:03.930 --> 01:17:06.270
just came up with something I think we need to

01:17:06.270 --> 01:17:09.750
add to this story. Oh, okay. Well, he was hanging

01:17:09.750 --> 01:17:14.430
up in the trophy box at Cass Midway. This was

01:17:14.430 --> 01:17:18.930
back when it was legal for teachers to beat our

01:17:18.930 --> 01:17:22.109
ass. Yes. Yeah, they can't do it now. It is not

01:17:22.109 --> 01:17:25.109
legal no more. See, we need to start adding that.

01:17:25.470 --> 01:17:28.229
You're right. Younger people wouldn't understand.

01:17:28.289 --> 01:17:30.970
It's like, what? Yeah. Right. They used to give

01:17:30.970 --> 01:17:33.770
us these things called swats, and we'd basically

01:17:33.770 --> 01:17:35.869
get hit on the ass with a big wooden paddle.

01:17:39.400 --> 01:17:41.579
Yeah, yeah. I did it many times. I did it many

01:17:41.579 --> 01:17:43.539
times, too. I'm like, yeah, just fucking paddle

01:17:43.539 --> 01:17:45.560
me. I don't want to sit in that fucking... Yeah,

01:17:45.560 --> 01:17:47.600
I got to be on that bus to get home. Yeah, yeah.

01:17:47.800 --> 01:17:50.000
And another thing is, his mom and dad would know

01:17:50.000 --> 01:17:52.220
that I did not make it home on time. Exactly.

01:17:52.220 --> 01:17:54.460
Therefore, I was in trouble staying overtime

01:17:54.460 --> 01:17:57.239
at work. No. Nope, that would not have went very

01:17:57.239 --> 01:17:59.779
well. Well, the way Felton worked, if you got

01:17:59.779 --> 01:18:03.300
the SWAT, it didn't get reported to your parents.

01:18:04.279 --> 01:18:06.960
No, I know. I know, and I've done that so many

01:18:06.960 --> 01:18:09.819
times, too. It is like that at Midway, too. The

01:18:09.819 --> 01:18:12.939
principal will come out and go, Mr. Wallace,

01:18:13.159 --> 01:18:16.220
yes. What are you going to pick, one or two?

01:18:16.739 --> 01:18:20.739
Which one's one? Detention after school? What's

01:18:20.739 --> 01:18:25.279
two? Swats? I'll take swats. Fuck. Two. Yep,

01:18:25.279 --> 01:18:30.020
two. What time do you need me there to smash

01:18:30.020 --> 01:18:32.739
my ass really hard with that thing? Oh, about

01:18:32.739 --> 01:18:39.840
two. Oh, yeah. Yeah, we were out there in the

01:18:39.840 --> 01:18:44.159
sticks. Oh, my God. That walk would have took

01:18:44.159 --> 01:18:48.579
you three hours. Well, I did. I did walk it home

01:18:48.579 --> 01:18:51.489
before. One time I didn't feel like getting paddled

01:18:51.489 --> 01:18:53.609
or staying in detention, so I just bailed out

01:18:53.609 --> 01:18:55.350
the back door and started walking down fields.

01:18:55.710 --> 01:18:58.369
And the funny thing is, is when I hit Holmes

01:18:58.369 --> 01:19:00.930
Road, it took a while on 2 Highway to get to

01:19:00.930 --> 01:19:03.050
Holmes Road. When I hit Holmes Road, a buddy

01:19:03.050 --> 01:19:05.630
of mine was driving by and gave me a ride home.

01:19:06.090 --> 01:19:10.050
So I'm sitting there at the steps downtown there,

01:19:10.189 --> 01:19:14.529
you know, very small downtown. Yeah, and whenever,

01:19:14.729 --> 01:19:18.380
when the bus came by, They got to observe me

01:19:18.380 --> 01:19:21.380
sitting there watching them. And our bus driver,

01:19:21.500 --> 01:19:24.159
Patty, shaking her head going, man, that guy.

01:19:27.500 --> 01:19:30.819
So anyhow, all right, so Travis Kelsey gets the

01:19:30.819 --> 01:19:34.079
first one. The second one, the shooter at the

01:19:34.079 --> 01:19:37.220
ICE headquarters in Texas, he shot immigrants

01:19:37.220 --> 01:19:42.140
accidentally and then shot himself. We're going

01:19:42.140 --> 01:19:45.539
to revive him and spank him four or five times.

01:19:49.130 --> 01:19:52.210
Dumbass. I'm going to go make a statement. He

01:19:52.210 --> 01:19:55.689
kills immigrants and then he kills himself. What

01:19:55.689 --> 01:20:01.689
a dumbass. All right. Well, so, all right. The

01:20:01.689 --> 01:20:04.430
national sports media and their bias East Coast

01:20:04.430 --> 01:20:08.609
slant. Getting tired of it again. You know, fucking

01:20:08.609 --> 01:20:14.670
Josh Allen and Lamar Jackson walk on water and

01:20:14.670 --> 01:20:18.590
Patrick Mahomes. Well, they like Burrow quite

01:20:18.590 --> 01:20:20.609
a bit, too, but he's closer to the East Coast

01:20:20.609 --> 01:20:25.829
than we are, so there you go. Well, if we got

01:20:25.829 --> 01:20:31.149
a receiver, we'd be all right. Yes. Well, Worthy's

01:20:31.149 --> 01:20:35.670
coming back this game, and then Thornton is coming

01:20:35.670 --> 01:20:38.029
on strong, and then we have Hollywood Brown,

01:20:38.350 --> 01:20:43.390
and then we have Kelsey. See, that's the one

01:20:43.390 --> 01:20:47.210
we've got to cut. Hopefully Jalen Royals, the

01:20:47.210 --> 01:20:50.869
rookie Jalen Royals, is supposedly, he made the

01:20:50.869 --> 01:20:52.930
squad, and they said he looks really good, so

01:20:52.930 --> 01:20:55.109
he might be coming on too, so we'll see. We've

01:20:55.109 --> 01:20:57.229
got to get that running game fired up. He did

01:20:57.229 --> 01:20:59.270
look good. He did look good, so we will see.

01:21:00.090 --> 01:21:03.430
The next Ask Padling goes to Disney for not permanently

01:21:03.430 --> 01:21:10.250
firing Jimmy Kimmel. Exactly. Yeah, I mean, and

01:21:10.250 --> 01:21:12.090
I think they get the Hall of Fame for that. What

01:21:12.090 --> 01:21:16.449
do you think? There you go, Disney. You're getting

01:21:16.449 --> 01:21:20.729
the Hall of Fame. It's not just... Yeah, well,

01:21:20.949 --> 01:21:25.470
he wasn't just Disney. He was on ABC. Well, Disney

01:21:25.470 --> 01:21:30.750
owns ABC. So people say... Yeah, okay. Sorry.

01:21:32.810 --> 01:21:36.550
Okay. Everyone calls it Disney. I agree with

01:21:36.550 --> 01:21:38.930
it. Disney's the home company. That's why they

01:21:38.930 --> 01:21:42.359
call it Disney. So, okay. Yep. All right. Anyone

01:21:42.359 --> 01:21:44.600
who thinks it's okay to kill someone with different

01:21:44.600 --> 01:21:53.100
beliefs? Yep. Yeah. I agree. Yeah, 100%. And

01:21:53.100 --> 01:21:55.199
bad things should be done to them before they

01:21:55.199 --> 01:22:00.579
get their ass paddled. Well, that depends. That

01:22:00.579 --> 01:22:06.899
depends. I think even my boss, who's a big...

01:22:06.899 --> 01:22:09.479
Because you have the mentally challenged ones.

01:22:10.390 --> 01:22:15.550
Yeah, that's true. That's true. Yeah. Yeah. I

01:22:15.550 --> 01:22:18.149
think even my boss, who's a huge L .A. Rams fan,

01:22:18.409 --> 01:22:21.390
would agree with this. The L .A. Rams get an

01:22:21.390 --> 01:22:24.210
ass -paddling for getting their winning field

01:22:24.210 --> 01:22:26.510
goal blocked against the Eagles on the last play

01:22:26.510 --> 01:22:31.149
of the game and ran in for a touchdown. Yeah,

01:22:31.149 --> 01:22:35.890
me too. Yep. The idiot ex -drummer for Green

01:22:35.890 --> 01:22:38.630
Jello that put up the one -day sober meme of

01:22:38.630 --> 01:22:43.119
Ozzy. And yeah, he got fired, but he still needs

01:22:43.119 --> 01:22:47.439
an ass paddling, doesn't he? Honestly, I did

01:22:47.439 --> 01:22:51.300
not see that one. I will take your word for it.

01:22:51.939 --> 01:22:56.020
We talked about it. He put up a tweet the day

01:22:56.020 --> 01:22:58.920
after Ozzy passed away, and it had a picture

01:22:58.920 --> 01:23:01.220
of Ozzy, and he said, congratulations, one day

01:23:01.220 --> 01:23:06.359
sober. Okay, okay, okay. Yeah, that did. I did

01:23:06.359 --> 01:23:11.239
not recognize the band name. I did not recognize

01:23:11.239 --> 01:23:14.239
that. Yeah, you're right. I remember that score

01:23:14.239 --> 01:23:31.689
now. Hall of Fame. General Hall of Fame. And

01:23:31.689 --> 01:23:33.989
I'd love to just get that guy and fucking punch

01:23:33.989 --> 01:23:36.529
him right in the face as hard as I can and watch

01:23:36.529 --> 01:23:38.710
him collapse to the ground bleeding. That would

01:23:38.710 --> 01:23:42.289
make me feel great. Yeah, he's in our hall of

01:23:42.289 --> 01:23:44.909
fame. Pull him out. Yeah, he's a piece of shit.

01:23:46.369 --> 01:23:50.510
Okay. Otis, our pug, for asking up our phones

01:23:50.510 --> 01:23:55.930
constantly. Sound fair? Yes. He asks us up our

01:23:55.930 --> 01:24:02.610
phones, he gets a paddling. Alright. And... Mitch,

01:24:02.610 --> 01:24:04.189
we're going to pull him out of the Hall of Fame

01:24:04.189 --> 01:24:06.850
and paddle him a couple more times. Is that okay?

01:24:08.310 --> 01:24:10.369
He's going to love it. He's going to enjoy it.

01:24:10.430 --> 01:24:13.750
Mitch, you're getting three ass paddlings. We're

01:24:13.750 --> 01:24:15.029
going to pull you out of the Hall of Fame and

01:24:15.029 --> 01:24:18.090
paddle you out. Yeah, three of them. Sorry, Mitch.

01:24:18.109 --> 01:24:21.550
I did not know this was going on. I just decided

01:24:21.550 --> 01:24:24.729
this myself. I just wrote this in myself. And

01:24:24.729 --> 01:24:27.369
then finally, the new guy for being a complete

01:24:27.369 --> 01:24:30.590
dick, he gets an ass paddling. He hates us. Oh,

01:24:30.590 --> 01:24:36.329
damn! Yeah. Well, explain Mitch's first. Okay,

01:24:36.489 --> 01:24:39.430
Mitch gets an ass paddling just because he's

01:24:39.430 --> 01:24:42.710
Mitch. He's always constantly... He fucking hates

01:24:42.710 --> 01:24:45.350
me. He loves Rob, but he mouths off to Rob, too.

01:24:45.590 --> 01:24:48.989
So this is more me because he's always been after

01:24:48.989 --> 01:24:52.649
me, fucking, you know, not liking me, telling

01:24:52.649 --> 01:24:55.649
me he not likes me, you know, letting me know

01:24:55.649 --> 01:24:59.319
he doesn't like me. constantly, you know, saying

01:24:59.319 --> 01:25:02.279
shit. Mitch gets, he gets pulled out of the Hall

01:25:02.279 --> 01:25:04.399
of Fame. He's already in the Hall of Fame. I'm

01:25:04.399 --> 01:25:06.619
doing this myself. Rob has nothing to do with

01:25:06.619 --> 01:25:09.000
it. Mitch, I'm paddling you three fucking different

01:25:09.000 --> 01:25:11.079
times and you're getting pulled out of the Hall

01:25:11.079 --> 01:25:13.520
of Fame to have this done. And then you're getting

01:25:13.520 --> 01:25:15.619
put back in the Hall of Fame for me to do it

01:25:15.619 --> 01:25:21.220
later. So, and then the new guy... Okay, okay.

01:25:21.300 --> 01:25:41.149
I will give the Hall of Fame later. Okay. I'm

01:25:41.149 --> 01:25:42.670
going to paddle him when you're not fucking looking,

01:25:42.789 --> 01:25:47.810
Rob. There you go. Yeah, if I'm at work, go for

01:25:47.810 --> 01:25:50.470
it. I have access to the Hall of Fame. I'll sneak

01:25:50.470 --> 01:25:52.250
in there while he's sleeping one night and paddle

01:25:52.250 --> 01:25:57.149
his ass. I just want to say I have not lost faith

01:25:57.149 --> 01:26:00.850
in my buddy Mitch. I have. Fuck him. Well, he's

01:26:00.850 --> 01:26:04.449
big coming back. I can't wait to paddle your

01:26:04.449 --> 01:26:07.449
ass, Mitch. He stood up on me, but now he understands.

01:26:07.510 --> 01:26:10.180
I'm actually... I'm actually going to take Clint

01:26:10.180 --> 01:26:16.220
and shove him up Mitch's ass. He says I haven't

01:26:16.220 --> 01:26:19.560
already done one. You probably have. So, all

01:26:19.560 --> 01:26:23.939
right, that's all of the ass paddlings for this

01:26:23.939 --> 01:26:27.939
time. Anyhow, Rob, you got something? It is 918.

01:26:28.020 --> 01:26:29.979
I will let you know right now. I don't know what

01:26:29.979 --> 01:26:32.039
your time constraints are because you're the

01:26:32.039 --> 01:26:43.699
one... Okay, well... Okay. Because he's just

01:26:43.699 --> 01:26:53.020
stupid. That's always a good reason. Yeah. A

01:26:53.020 --> 01:26:57.760
gunman blasted shots at a gate of an Area 51

01:26:57.760 --> 01:27:34.170
air base in Nevada, cops said. Wow. Yes, I do.

01:28:30.570 --> 01:28:33.050
I don't know why they got to kill people, but

01:28:33.050 --> 01:30:29.619
anyway. Another side. The Air Force Security

01:30:29.619 --> 01:30:34.119
Forces and Las Vegas Metro Police reported the

01:30:34.119 --> 01:30:37.079
incident. You know what? That's a good fucking

01:30:37.079 --> 01:30:41.979
point. That's a really good point. That's why

01:30:41.979 --> 01:30:47.680
I mentioned this guy. Because why is Las Vegas

01:30:47.680 --> 01:30:52.199
Metro Police in on this when they're 85 miles

01:30:52.199 --> 01:31:04.439
away? Yeah. Mm -hmm. No, that's... Just saying.

01:31:07.619 --> 01:31:13.060
Good point. And Area 51 has no fly restriction

01:31:13.060 --> 01:31:16.720
and all that, you know? Yeah, you're right. I

01:31:16.720 --> 01:31:21.359
don't know. That's a good point, Rob. I don't

01:31:21.359 --> 01:31:30.949
know. Okay, thank you. It is 9 .23. Do you want

01:31:30.949 --> 01:31:32.989
me to go on with another story, or do you want

01:31:32.989 --> 01:31:38.029
to cut this? Well, you do one more story, and

01:31:38.029 --> 01:31:46.390
let's be done. Okay. All right. I've got one

01:31:46.390 --> 01:31:49.569
right here. Susie Welch is a business author

01:31:49.569 --> 01:31:53.090
and New York University Stern professor. who

01:31:53.090 --> 01:31:55.869
has written extensively about Generation Z and

01:31:55.869 --> 01:31:58.829
the current economic climate. Arguing that young

01:31:58.829 --> 01:32:01.229
people are less motivated to work hard because

01:32:01.229 --> 01:32:03.210
the promise of hard work leading to a better

01:32:03.210 --> 01:32:06.670
life has crumbled, leading to a phenomenon she

01:32:06.670 --> 01:32:10.970
calls the Gen Z stare, or burnout. She explains

01:32:10.970 --> 01:32:13.229
that while other older generations believed in

01:32:13.229 --> 01:32:15.609
the American dream of working hard for rewards,

01:32:15.810 --> 01:32:18.670
Gen Z sees a landscape of diminishing returns,

01:32:19.029 --> 01:32:22.260
making them skeptical, of the payoff of intense

01:32:22.260 --> 01:32:26.800
effort because these realities gen z has different

01:32:26.800 --> 01:32:30.699
values and expectations such as desire for authentic

01:32:30.699 --> 01:32:34.119
work making a difference and a greater focus

01:32:34.119 --> 01:32:36.640
on mental health and financial security than

01:32:36.640 --> 01:32:40.199
previous generations according to the world economic

01:32:40.199 --> 01:32:45.960
times um rob you and i remember being no hope

01:32:50.460 --> 01:32:54.680
Yeah. Bucking hay, it's 110 degree heat. Three

01:32:54.680 --> 01:32:58.039
fields done, four more to go. It's 2 p .m. You're

01:32:58.039 --> 01:32:59.939
going to be working until at least dark, if not

01:32:59.939 --> 01:33:02.899
longer. There's one jug of warm water and not

01:33:02.899 --> 01:33:08.319
even hot water with only two sips left. Right.

01:33:08.539 --> 01:33:11.340
Yeah. So it's either hot or very warm water.

01:33:11.439 --> 01:33:15.180
There's two sips left and it's 110 degrees. There's

01:33:15.180 --> 01:33:18.020
no water in sight. There's four more fields to

01:33:18.020 --> 01:33:23.510
do. Yeah, to me, that's helpless. So, I don't

01:33:23.510 --> 01:33:28.130
know. So, all right, that's pretty much all I

01:33:28.130 --> 01:33:30.750
had, too. So, all right, everybody, thank you

01:33:30.750 --> 01:33:34.210
for listening. Hi, Grandma Opal. Hi, Jimmy. Hi,

01:33:34.390 --> 01:33:42.649
Ricky. Hi, Albuquerque. Hi, Hicksville. Who else?

01:33:44.430 --> 01:33:49.319
Let me see. Who was the one lady from Ohio that

01:33:49.319 --> 01:33:53.359
hated me so much? Something Ann. Ruth Ann? Rose

01:33:53.359 --> 01:33:57.659
Ann. Yeah, Ruth Ann. Hi, Ruth Ann. Oh, God, yeah.

01:33:57.979 --> 01:34:00.880
I hope Ruth Ann's still listening. I hope so,

01:34:00.960 --> 01:34:03.560
too. Hi, Ruth Ann. We miss you. I want you to

01:34:03.560 --> 01:34:06.359
write in and mouth off. You're disappointing

01:34:06.359 --> 01:34:10.239
us. You called me when I was first starting.

01:34:10.460 --> 01:34:14.460
I'm three years in now. Oh, she was balling.

01:34:14.729 --> 01:34:17.250
She was balling hard on us when you first started.

01:34:18.829 --> 01:34:22.989
Yeah, she loved me, hated you. I bet she still

01:34:22.989 --> 01:34:30.350
listens. Well, that's because you hated on the

01:34:30.350 --> 01:34:35.869
Bengals. Yep, yep. And now her little Joey Burrows

01:34:35.869 --> 01:34:39.409
out for quite a while again. They just got fucking

01:34:39.409 --> 01:34:43.109
hammered 44 to like six. That's probably why

01:34:43.109 --> 01:34:46.199
she ain't listening. Oh, that probably is. Okay.

01:34:46.460 --> 01:34:48.819
Sorry, Ruthann. Come back. I'll quit bogging

01:34:48.819 --> 01:34:54.420
you down. No, I won't. Fuck you. Forget Mark,

01:34:54.600 --> 01:34:57.939
Ruthann. Please, let me know you're still listening.

01:34:58.899 --> 01:35:00.960
Yeah, leave me out of it, you dumb bitch. Me.

01:35:01.140 --> 01:35:08.300
Me. Shut up, Mark. Oh, sorry. All right, everybody.

01:35:08.399 --> 01:35:10.239
Thank you for listening. Good night, assholes.

01:35:14.000 --> 01:35:17.539
Oh, no. Looks like the show's over, kids. Mark

01:35:17.539 --> 01:35:20.600
has explosive diarrhea and can't afford a wireless

01:35:20.600 --> 01:35:24.220
mic. Fear not, assholes. They'll be back invading

01:35:24.220 --> 01:35:25.159
your ear holes soon.