WEBVTT

00:00:18.189 --> 00:00:29.429
Hey, you fucking derelicts. It's time for the

00:00:29.429 --> 00:00:33.130
Daily Douchebag Pledge. I, Joe or Jane Listener,

00:00:33.130 --> 00:00:36.409
hereby promise to download the show. I, Joe or

00:00:36.409 --> 00:00:39.079
Jane Listener. Hereby promise to grab other people's

00:00:39.079 --> 00:00:42.020
phones, unattended computers, public computers,

00:00:42.179 --> 00:00:44.939
and all of my work computers as well, and download

00:00:44.939 --> 00:00:48.219
the show from there. I, Joe or Jane Listener,

00:00:48.219 --> 00:00:51.259
hereby promise to make other people listen. I,

00:00:51.299 --> 00:00:54.570
Joe or Jane Listener. will hereby lie to everyone

00:00:54.570 --> 00:00:58.049
about how quality the show is. I, Joe or Jane

00:00:58.049 --> 00:01:00.729
Listener, promise to make all my family members

00:01:00.729 --> 00:01:03.369
listen and recite the daily douchebag pledge.

00:01:03.649 --> 00:01:07.230
And finally, I, Joe or Jane Listener, hereby

00:01:07.230 --> 00:01:09.650
promise to make the trek to Knobloch, Missouri,

00:01:09.829 --> 00:01:12.549
just to have a selfie with the Knobloch sign.

00:01:13.950 --> 00:01:16.810
Here at Two Douchebags and a Microphone, we don't

00:01:16.810 --> 00:01:20.049
stand behind our journalistic integrity. Go ahead

00:01:20.049 --> 00:01:23.209
and assume we got the story wrong. At least we

00:01:23.209 --> 00:01:26.549
admit it. Not like all those other guys, we can

00:01:26.549 --> 00:01:30.909
and will lie if it makes the story better. Two

00:01:30.909 --> 00:01:45.230
douchebags and a microphone. Hi all, this is

00:01:45.230 --> 00:01:50.109
Chicago. I am the most dangerous city in North

00:01:50.109 --> 00:01:56.750
America. You can't touch me. Oh, yeah? This is

00:01:56.750 --> 00:01:59.709
Kansas City here. Hold my beer, bitch. And now

00:01:59.709 --> 00:02:02.310
we look in on the adventures of the technical

00:02:02.310 --> 00:02:06.030
explanation guy. Excuse me, sir. Could you please

00:02:06.030 --> 00:02:08.430
be a good gentleman and pass the malt acetic

00:02:08.430 --> 00:02:12.210
acid my way? Do you mean the malt vinegar? Why,

00:02:12.229 --> 00:02:15.310
yes. Yes, I do mean the malt vinegar. Then just

00:02:15.310 --> 00:02:19.490
say the malt vinegar, you dumb buck. And now,

00:02:19.689 --> 00:02:27.960
Deep Thoughts with Mark. If I was to speak into

00:02:27.960 --> 00:02:32.060
a megaphone backwards, would it then sound like

00:02:32.060 --> 00:02:41.659
a whisper? I may never know. Tomorrow morning

00:02:41.659 --> 00:02:43.860
while grinding your coffee beans for your double

00:02:43.860 --> 00:02:46.879
mocha latte, remember to not get your genitals

00:02:46.879 --> 00:02:50.340
caught in the grinder. It really hurts. Who can

00:02:50.340 --> 00:02:53.460
afford plastic surgery? Stay safe, everyone.

00:02:55.240 --> 00:02:57.800
So you want proof that we love you here at QD

00:02:57.800 --> 00:03:00.560
Spades and Microphone Central? Here's a proof

00:03:00.560 --> 00:03:03.900
right here about the drink of the week. Hey,

00:03:03.900 --> 00:03:06.259
all you drunk belly dancers. This one's for you.

00:03:06.340 --> 00:03:08.539
This is a Butch Wacker. This is from Norwegian

00:03:08.539 --> 00:03:12.319
Cruise Line's Best Drinks. This is a chocolatey,

00:03:12.319 --> 00:03:15.819
delicious drink. Thick. You can make yourself.

00:03:16.419 --> 00:03:19.620
It starts out one ounce of rum. One half ounce.

00:03:20.080 --> 00:03:23.080
Chocono, chocolate -flavored liqueur. One -half

00:03:23.080 --> 00:03:25.240
ounce of vodka, one -half ounce of Bailey's Irish

00:03:25.240 --> 00:03:28.460
Creek, one -half ounce of Kahula, and one -half

00:03:28.460 --> 00:03:32.199
ounce of Amaretto. Shake all together, put in

00:03:32.199 --> 00:03:36.500
a glass, and there you are. Delightful, chocolatey

00:03:36.500 --> 00:03:49.810
goodness. Enjoy. Two douchebags and a microphone.

00:03:49.830 --> 00:03:51.750
I'm Mark here in the Kansas City area at the

00:03:51.750 --> 00:03:57.569
Talk is Cheap studio. And I am Rob. It's a beautiful

00:03:57.569 --> 00:04:00.610
angle arm of Lake of the Ozarks in the Duck Blind

00:04:00.610 --> 00:04:04.610
studio. And right off the bat, I do have something

00:04:04.610 --> 00:04:07.949
to reiterate from our last podcast. Please go

00:04:07.949 --> 00:04:11.610
ahead. Okay. You remember how I spoke about Bike

00:04:11.610 --> 00:04:16.230
Fest? Yes. Bike Fest was not this weekend. It's

00:04:16.230 --> 00:04:19.519
next weekend. Oh. I hope people came down for

00:04:19.519 --> 00:04:21.480
it and it wasn't going on. That would be great.

00:04:21.879 --> 00:04:25.180
Honestly, I'm waiting for some emails from Sunrise

00:04:25.180 --> 00:04:29.399
Beach over that. I printed mine off two days

00:04:29.399 --> 00:04:33.920
ago, so I'll have to look. I just figured, you

00:04:33.920 --> 00:04:37.339
know, because of the way the bikes have been

00:04:37.339 --> 00:04:40.779
rolling, I thought, no, it's next weekend. Oh,

00:04:40.779 --> 00:04:43.939
okay. So if you came down because of that, ha

00:04:43.939 --> 00:04:53.470
-ha. There you go. And he's got it right this

00:04:53.470 --> 00:04:55.189
time. You're not going to come down for nothing

00:04:55.189 --> 00:04:58.110
this time. Yes, no, no, no. I had to reiterate

00:04:58.110 --> 00:05:01.709
that. I had to clear it, you know. There you

00:05:01.709 --> 00:05:04.589
go. That was my mistake. I had the wrong dates.

00:05:04.790 --> 00:05:08.170
That was my bad. Okay, so if I were you guys,

00:05:08.189 --> 00:05:10.410
I would look for Rob's personal email, not this

00:05:10.410 --> 00:05:18.509
one. All right, well. No, I want this one. I

00:05:18.509 --> 00:05:20.779
want to hear it. You know what? You're right.

00:05:20.839 --> 00:05:23.819
Go to this one. You're a dumbass. You've lived

00:05:23.819 --> 00:05:27.360
down here how long? 20 years? And you don't know

00:05:27.360 --> 00:05:32.980
when by this? Two douches at mail .com. Two douches

00:05:32.980 --> 00:05:35.740
at mail .com. And it's not the number two. I

00:05:35.740 --> 00:05:39.000
just had this with a couple of people. It's written

00:05:39.000 --> 00:05:44.779
out. Two. T -W -O douches. D -O -U -C -H -E -S.

00:05:45.519 --> 00:05:48.300
Two douches. And I just had ten shirts made.

00:05:48.430 --> 00:05:52.370
at mail .com. So, there you go. Not spelled,

00:05:52.490 --> 00:05:56.209
not the letter. Spelled out. Two douches at mail

00:05:56.209 --> 00:06:02.069
.com. Yeah, with the douches at mail .com. So,

00:06:02.129 --> 00:06:04.250
there you go. You got any complaints, that's

00:06:04.250 --> 00:06:06.550
where Rob will be hearing them at, right there.

00:06:07.410 --> 00:06:10.910
Alright. Alright, do you like the Uptown Theater?

00:06:10.990 --> 00:06:12.389
You do, don't you? It's one of your favorite

00:06:12.389 --> 00:06:16.670
venues, like me. Oh, yeah, yeah. That is a great

00:06:16.670 --> 00:06:20.569
venue. It always has been. Yeah, it has. You

00:06:20.569 --> 00:06:23.050
like Jerry Cantrell of Alice in Chains, right?

00:06:24.029 --> 00:06:26.829
Yes, yes. But he is the most important part of

00:06:26.829 --> 00:06:30.209
Alice in Chains were those riffs. Lane Staley

00:06:30.209 --> 00:06:33.589
did great. Everybody in the band did great. But

00:06:33.589 --> 00:06:37.730
if it wasn't for Jerry Cantrell, you would have

00:06:37.730 --> 00:06:39.610
never heard that band. You wouldn't have known

00:06:39.610 --> 00:06:42.930
anything about him. His monster riffs, like Man

00:06:42.930 --> 00:06:47.540
in the Box or Angry chair. I mean, there's so

00:06:47.540 --> 00:06:49.899
many riffs that he came up with that are heavy

00:06:49.899 --> 00:06:54.399
and dark and brooding. So, I got to looking,

00:06:54.500 --> 00:06:59.120
and his tickets are down to $32 .50 for the Uptown

00:06:59.120 --> 00:07:04.379
Theater next Sunday. Can you believe that? Really?

00:07:04.600 --> 00:07:07.420
Yeah, this guy's... Oh, yeah, I can. I can. Oh,

00:07:07.439 --> 00:07:48.269
okay. Why? Well, it... That's what it was, but

00:07:48.269 --> 00:07:51.189
he blamed it on a bunch of other things. That's

00:07:51.189 --> 00:07:52.970
right. Well, he's kind of a hatter. He blamed

00:07:52.970 --> 00:07:55.170
it on the wildfires. He blamed it on everything,

00:07:55.269 --> 00:07:59.110
wildfires, everything. He's kind of a disgruntled

00:07:59.110 --> 00:08:01.589
person if you've ever seen him on the Rock and

00:08:01.589 --> 00:08:04.610
Roll Hall of Fame. I understand him being mad

00:08:04.610 --> 00:08:06.850
and everything, but I mean, go ahead, what now?

00:08:07.790 --> 00:08:10.689
Well, I just wanted to see why for his music,

00:08:10.750 --> 00:08:12.670
because I grew up with his music. Oh, no, no,

00:08:12.670 --> 00:08:15.279
I don't blame you at all. I'm just saying that

00:08:15.279 --> 00:08:17.920
I believe that he probably was surly, because

00:08:17.920 --> 00:08:21.399
I think part of his nature nowadays is him being

00:08:21.399 --> 00:08:26.019
surly. So, you know what? Okay. Well, anyhow,

00:08:26.259 --> 00:08:29.439
I'm really considering going to Jerry Cantrell.

00:08:30.319 --> 00:08:33.779
I mean, $32 .50. That would be a good one. That

00:08:33.779 --> 00:08:35.759
would be a good concert. It really would be.

00:08:35.940 --> 00:08:39.759
Oh, yeah. $32 .50 to see this guitar legend play.

00:08:40.000 --> 00:08:44.299
At the Uptown. At the Uptown Theater. It's one

00:08:44.299 --> 00:08:46.679
of the very few most personal venues where you

00:08:46.679 --> 00:08:50.059
don't have a bad seat. I mean, to me, it's a

00:08:50.059 --> 00:08:52.340
really personal venue because there's not a bad

00:08:52.340 --> 00:08:54.820
seat, and you pretty much see the white in everybody's

00:08:54.820 --> 00:08:59.399
eyes and that whole thing. It's like Memorial

00:08:59.399 --> 00:09:04.100
Hall over at KCK. A real small venue, but you

00:09:04.100 --> 00:09:11.340
can pack some people in there. Yeah, and if I

00:09:11.340 --> 00:09:13.440
do, then I will let you know, and we'll just

00:09:13.440 --> 00:09:15.879
reschedule this for Monday night, if that's okay.

00:09:18.259 --> 00:09:20.679
Sounds good. Okay, all right, I'll let you know.

00:09:20.779 --> 00:09:25.460
I may wait until the day of and just buy it online,

00:09:25.720 --> 00:09:29.159
because if we're $32 .50 now, and there really

00:09:29.159 --> 00:09:32.559
don't seem to be a very big push in people buying

00:09:32.559 --> 00:09:37.679
them, they'll be $32 .50 the day of. The whole

00:09:37.679 --> 00:09:40.299
thing is it's getting butts in seats to buy beers,

00:09:40.480 --> 00:09:45.259
maybe buy a shirt, a tour book. You know, that's

00:09:45.259 --> 00:09:47.100
pretty much the name of the game anymore. It's

00:09:47.100 --> 00:09:49.259
not really, yeah, if you can gouge them on tickets,

00:09:49.399 --> 00:09:52.279
yes, you do. But if you can't, then you just

00:09:52.279 --> 00:09:54.399
lower the tickets to where you can get as many

00:09:54.399 --> 00:09:56.820
people packed in there as you can, and then you

00:09:56.820 --> 00:10:00.120
get a cut of the alcohol sales and all this stuff.

00:10:00.840 --> 00:10:06.360
Well, guys like him. Yeah. I will take it for

00:10:06.360 --> 00:10:09.889
him. artists like that, they're not into it for

00:10:09.889 --> 00:10:12.570
the ticket sales. They're into it for the entertainment.

00:10:13.190 --> 00:10:17.830
They don't care how much they make. They're doing

00:10:17.830 --> 00:10:21.330
what they love, and they're entertaining us with

00:10:21.330 --> 00:10:26.090
what they love. Yeah, he's great at that. Yeah,

00:10:26.090 --> 00:10:30.990
I mean, they're long past the grunge prime and

00:10:30.990 --> 00:10:33.549
all that stuff. When grunge was king, they were

00:10:33.549 --> 00:10:38.240
huge. And he knows he's not huge anymore. And

00:10:38.240 --> 00:10:40.460
he knows he's not going to sell out big arenas

00:10:40.460 --> 00:10:42.940
anymore. But he still wants to do it. And he

00:10:42.940 --> 00:10:46.639
doesn't care. This one at the Uptown Theater,

00:10:46.740 --> 00:10:48.360
he's not canceling. He's lowering the ticket

00:10:48.360 --> 00:10:51.100
price or whoever's in charge of it. And I think

00:10:51.100 --> 00:10:55.379
that's awesome. Yeah, I do too. Unless you're

00:10:55.379 --> 00:10:56.840
like Steve Miller and you're just like, yeah,

00:10:56.840 --> 00:10:59.539
I ain't doing it now. Because of the wildfires

00:10:59.539 --> 00:11:03.460
and the tsunamis. So, whatever. Dude, yeah, you're

00:11:03.460 --> 00:11:06.299
coming like this. I could have sold you two more

00:11:06.299 --> 00:11:08.379
tickets. That would have made it worth your tour.

00:11:08.639 --> 00:11:11.940
There you go. Yeah. Especially the price I was

00:11:11.940 --> 00:11:17.240
fucking giving. Oh, how much were they? I was

00:11:17.240 --> 00:11:21.360
going to go lower level. Uh -huh. And they were

00:11:21.360 --> 00:11:27.159
up around $150 each. Well, Steve Miller, I think

00:11:27.159 --> 00:11:30.559
I just found your problem. You priced yourself

00:11:30.559 --> 00:11:33.220
out of the market. No, no, no, no, no, no, no,

00:11:33.220 --> 00:11:38.940
no. I was going to do Ticketmaster. Oh, yeah.

00:11:39.600 --> 00:11:43.220
Yeah. Yeah. That's a whole lot. Hey, Ticketmaster,

00:11:43.559 --> 00:11:49.179
want some again? Always. Always. Get that price

00:11:49.179 --> 00:11:53.500
out of range. Yep. We've talked about this. Yeah,

00:11:53.500 --> 00:11:57.159
we have. And we'll talk about it more, too. Oh,

00:11:57.159 --> 00:12:01.460
yeah. Every concert. So, anyhow, I need to stop

00:12:01.460 --> 00:12:06.320
looking at houses in Cass County, Rob. My realtor,

00:12:06.500 --> 00:12:10.179
she knows what to send us. I'm just not ready

00:12:10.179 --> 00:12:12.740
for an hour plus drive to work again. You know,

00:12:12.840 --> 00:12:17.759
I'm driving all city, all the way, 25 minutes,

00:12:17.799 --> 00:12:21.019
and I love it. You know, the oldsters in Lone

00:12:21.019 --> 00:12:22.659
Pine, you know, just south of Cleveland, it's

00:12:22.659 --> 00:12:24.159
part of Cleveland, right? Cleveland, Missouri,

00:12:24.399 --> 00:12:28.720
Lone Pine. Yeah. They're all moving out. You

00:12:28.720 --> 00:12:30.159
know, I don't know if they're like, you know,

00:12:30.159 --> 00:12:32.539
going to old folks' homes or something or whatever,

00:12:32.659 --> 00:12:36.659
but they're all moving out. Probably are. Probably

00:12:36.659 --> 00:12:39.600
are. Yeah, our realtor keeps sending us new ones

00:12:39.600 --> 00:12:41.740
that are coming up in Lone Pine, and I was like,

00:12:41.820 --> 00:12:45.799
oh, man. It's like, no, no, I don't want to drive

00:12:45.799 --> 00:12:47.879
an hour and a half to work again. Nope, nuh -uh.

00:12:49.100 --> 00:12:53.679
So I saw where White Castle, they're expanding

00:12:53.679 --> 00:12:57.000
into Texas. You know, White Castle's one of the

00:12:57.000 --> 00:13:00.799
few chains that have standalone stores. way off

00:13:00.799 --> 00:13:02.940
their normal territory. And let me explain it

00:13:02.940 --> 00:13:06.299
to you. What I mean by standalone is, okay, usually

00:13:06.299 --> 00:13:11.519
if you have like one of the fast food joint,

00:13:11.600 --> 00:13:14.259
you're going to have five or six in that area.

00:13:14.580 --> 00:13:17.620
To make it worth their time of distributing to

00:13:17.620 --> 00:13:21.240
that area, right? You don't have just standalones.

00:13:21.580 --> 00:13:24.019
Not just like one restaurant like a thousand

00:13:24.019 --> 00:13:27.419
miles away from the other ones, okay? So there's

00:13:27.419 --> 00:13:35.419
Las Vegas. has one standalone White Castle. And

00:13:35.419 --> 00:13:40.340
New York, Coney Island, New York, part of the

00:13:40.340 --> 00:13:44.200
New York metropolitan area, Coney Island has

00:13:44.200 --> 00:13:47.539
one standalone White Castle. And they're the

00:13:47.539 --> 00:13:49.059
only ones that do that. They're the only ones

00:13:49.059 --> 00:13:51.279
that allow one standalone way off in the middle

00:13:51.279 --> 00:13:53.320
of nowhere, as opposed to other restaurants.

00:13:53.840 --> 00:13:58.179
But now they're finding their way to Texas, which

00:13:58.179 --> 00:14:02.730
is... Kind of surprised me, you know. But the

00:14:02.730 --> 00:14:04.870
one at Coney Island didn't follow the rules anyhow.

00:14:05.090 --> 00:14:07.230
White castles do not come with anything on them,

00:14:07.250 --> 00:14:11.009
right? If you order cheese and you want to come

00:14:11.009 --> 00:14:14.029
with cheese. Right, right. Just cheese, onion,

00:14:14.210 --> 00:14:17.889
if you want onions, and meat, and the bun. And

00:14:17.889 --> 00:14:22.690
grease. And a lot of grease. Heavy on the grease.

00:14:24.149 --> 00:14:26.490
The Coney Island one, they put ketchup on all

00:14:26.490 --> 00:14:28.570
of them, and they destroyed my grease pellets

00:14:28.570 --> 00:14:32.669
from heaven. I was furious. I'm like, where's

00:14:32.669 --> 00:14:34.590
the dummy that put ketchup on these? Oh, that's

00:14:34.590 --> 00:14:37.230
what we do here. I'm like, no, you don't do that

00:14:37.230 --> 00:14:41.230
in White Castle. We do here. I'm like, no, they

00:14:41.230 --> 00:14:43.490
can give me ones without ketchup on them, please.

00:14:44.129 --> 00:14:48.809
And they did. So, but I guess, you know, they're

00:14:48.809 --> 00:14:50.610
out there way away from the other ones. So, like,

00:14:50.629 --> 00:14:52.370
no one's checking their standards, I'm sure.

00:14:52.389 --> 00:14:53.750
They don't go up there and go, hey, why are you

00:14:53.750 --> 00:14:56.570
putting ketchup on these? I don't know. I thought

00:14:56.570 --> 00:15:00.789
it looked good, you know. So, you know, Dallas

00:15:00.789 --> 00:15:03.250
is full of Whataburgers and In -N -Out. So, I'm

00:15:03.250 --> 00:15:07.830
not sure how well White Castle will do. You know,

00:15:07.850 --> 00:15:12.669
anyway. I want one here. A White Castle? Yeah,

00:15:12.690 --> 00:15:15.490
I'd love to have a White Castle. Oh, I enjoy

00:15:15.490 --> 00:15:19.690
them, too. The best we can do is the frozen ones

00:15:19.690 --> 00:15:23.210
at the store. Yeah, and they're not the same.

00:15:23.909 --> 00:15:26.129
No, they're not. You could go to Columbia and

00:15:26.129 --> 00:15:30.789
get them. Yeah, an hour and a half from here.

00:15:30.929 --> 00:15:32.789
No, I know. That's the closest store to us, too.

00:15:32.909 --> 00:15:37.570
Two and a half hours away. Oh, shit. Yeah. See

00:15:37.570 --> 00:15:40.629
how closer you are. I know. I used to do trips

00:15:40.629 --> 00:15:43.730
out there. Just, you know, got a day off. I go

00:15:43.730 --> 00:15:45.690
all the way out there and grab some White Castles.

00:15:45.710 --> 00:15:47.710
But now I hear it's hard to get into that White

00:15:47.710 --> 00:15:51.389
Castle because there's a dispensary right next

00:15:51.389 --> 00:15:55.429
door. Because you told the story about you buying

00:15:55.429 --> 00:15:58.129
your Jeep and ordering a case of White Castle.

00:15:58.230 --> 00:16:02.009
Yes. Yeah. Yeah. It was funny. I bought them

00:16:02.009 --> 00:16:04.970
from Joe Mockins, which is a huge dealership

00:16:04.970 --> 00:16:07.590
in Columbia. And I'm like, all right, I'm going

00:16:07.590 --> 00:16:09.909
to buy this for one thing. The guy's like, what?

00:16:10.960 --> 00:16:13.539
When I get there, there needs to be a case of

00:16:13.539 --> 00:16:17.259
white castles in the front seat on the floorboard.

00:16:17.919 --> 00:16:24.379
What? Yeah, a case of white castles. A suitcase.

00:16:24.960 --> 00:16:28.379
This is serious. Yeah, and the guy kind of chuckled

00:16:28.379 --> 00:16:31.620
again, and I go, no, I'm serious. The only way

00:16:31.620 --> 00:16:34.240
I'm going to buy this, I'll agree to it, is...

00:16:34.480 --> 00:16:36.799
When I get there, you have my case of White Castles

00:16:36.799 --> 00:16:39.240
waiting for me. And he goes, sir, about what

00:16:39.240 --> 00:16:40.600
time are you going to be here? They'll be hot.

00:16:41.860 --> 00:16:47.299
And when I got there, yes, they were hot. They

00:16:47.299 --> 00:16:51.039
were hot, yeah. So while they were detailing

00:16:51.039 --> 00:16:54.559
the vehicle and getting it ready, I went into

00:16:54.559 --> 00:16:57.019
their, they have this room there, or they did,

00:16:57.100 --> 00:16:58.879
I don't know if they still have it, but it's

00:16:58.879 --> 00:17:02.379
like vibrating recliner chairs. Yeah, you've

00:17:02.379 --> 00:17:05.200
been to that. Yeah, big movie screen popcorn.

00:17:05.339 --> 00:17:07.559
I'm in there munching the shit out of White Castle,

00:17:07.640 --> 00:17:13.720
watching TV. If you're paying that much for a

00:17:13.720 --> 00:17:15.980
vehicle, you deserve to be pampered. Oh, yeah,

00:17:16.180 --> 00:17:19.140
yeah. Yeah, so I'm just sitting there, you know,

00:17:19.180 --> 00:17:22.099
fucking enjoying the hell out of it, and then

00:17:22.099 --> 00:17:24.920
they're done detailing the car, and I'm like,

00:17:25.039 --> 00:17:28.160
you guys, you're really done right now? Yeah,

00:17:28.299 --> 00:17:30.940
yeah, we need you to come get it. Fuck. Okay.

00:17:31.480 --> 00:17:39.720
hang on, so, um, anyhow, um, so, um, I forgot

00:17:39.720 --> 00:17:43.480
where I was, oh, so anyhow, all of these things,

00:17:43.660 --> 00:17:48.920
we knew it, we knew it going in, uh, what a burger

00:17:48.920 --> 00:17:55.259
is, yeah, um, what a burger is in and outs, and

00:17:55.259 --> 00:17:58.420
White Castles are all, they're all open 24 -7,

00:17:58.460 --> 00:18:01.670
for your indigestion needs, So there you go.

00:18:03.029 --> 00:18:06.589
A rising fitness trend has people acting like

00:18:06.589 --> 00:18:09.450
animals on all fours. This is all part of a new

00:18:09.450 --> 00:18:14.549
trend called quadrobics. This odd style of exercise

00:18:14.549 --> 00:18:17.470
is gaining traction on social media where devotees

00:18:17.470 --> 00:18:21.930
are showing off their bear crawls and cat leaps,

00:18:21.950 --> 00:18:24.490
Rob. Does that sound something you want to partake

00:18:24.490 --> 00:18:27.789
in? Yeah, yeah. It sounds like something Frances

00:18:27.789 --> 00:18:31.289
could get in. What, the bear crawl or the cat

00:18:31.289 --> 00:18:33.750
leap? What do you think she'd do? Both. Both?

00:18:33.809 --> 00:18:37.369
Okay. Often wearing furry masks and tails. Do

00:18:37.369 --> 00:18:42.509
you think she'll do that? A furry mask and a

00:18:42.509 --> 00:18:46.269
tail? I better shut up. I better shut up because

00:18:46.269 --> 00:18:49.349
I've got more coming on this show. You know what,

00:18:49.410 --> 00:18:53.890
yeah. About princess. Yeah, we'll just sway away

00:18:53.890 --> 00:18:57.269
from there right now. Often wearing furry masks

00:18:57.269 --> 00:19:00.930
and tails, people swear this particular exercise

00:19:00.930 --> 00:19:05.009
trims and shapes you up into an efficient level.

00:19:05.210 --> 00:19:07.869
But the core of this new trend is the people

00:19:07.869 --> 00:19:12.750
practicing that this trend isn't exactly for

00:19:12.750 --> 00:19:16.970
exercise. They call themselves sub -human creatures.

00:19:17.730 --> 00:19:19.950
So they don't even believe they're human. They

00:19:19.950 --> 00:19:22.609
think that they're sub -human creatures. And

00:19:22.609 --> 00:19:24.470
that's why they're doing this, not because they

00:19:24.470 --> 00:19:27.750
want exercise. They would also like to be known,

00:19:27.829 --> 00:19:31.609
Rob, that they are not furries. Okay, Rob? They

00:19:31.609 --> 00:19:33.869
are not furries. They want you to know that.

00:19:34.269 --> 00:19:38.289
Uh -huh. And they are sick of being lumped into

00:19:38.289 --> 00:19:44.069
the furry category, Rob. No, no, no. They are

00:19:44.069 --> 00:19:49.930
a subculture, according to them. Yeah, you know.

00:19:51.529 --> 00:19:53.549
I'm going to keep calling them furries. Sorry

00:19:53.549 --> 00:19:56.589
about your luck, freaks. Too bad. Yeah. Yeah.

00:19:58.109 --> 00:20:01.549
So, Rob, I got some great news for all of us.

00:20:01.569 --> 00:20:05.589
You want to hear it? Always. Calling your boss

00:20:05.589 --> 00:20:07.970
a dickhead isn't enough to get you fired, a judge

00:20:07.970 --> 00:20:15.509
rules. Really? Yeah. Yeah, that's what this judge

00:20:15.509 --> 00:20:19.460
said. You know, cursing out... The brass might

00:20:19.460 --> 00:20:23.420
seem like a justifiably fireball offense. However,

00:20:23.579 --> 00:20:26.720
a UK supervisor was awarded over $40 ,000 after

00:20:26.720 --> 00:20:29.559
a court ruled that she was wrongfully canned

00:20:29.559 --> 00:20:35.559
for labeling her boss a dickhead. Nice. Nice.

00:20:35.980 --> 00:20:38.579
I love it. I love it. I can get on board with

00:20:38.579 --> 00:20:42.660
this. Although, I like my bosses here at that

00:20:42.660 --> 00:20:45.119
other place. Yeah, I know you do. A bunch of

00:20:45.119 --> 00:20:48.900
dick suckers over there. Anyhow, although her

00:20:48.900 --> 00:20:51.119
comments were inappropriate and regrettable,

00:20:51.180 --> 00:20:54.859
they did not justify summary dismissal, declared

00:20:54.859 --> 00:20:59.119
Judge Sonya Boyce at the tribunal. The Daily

00:20:59.119 --> 00:21:02.779
Mail reported since 2018, Carrie Herbert had

00:21:02.779 --> 00:21:05.619
reportedly worked at scaffolding and brickwork

00:21:05.619 --> 00:21:08.940
company Main Group Services alongside her brother

00:21:08.940 --> 00:21:11.920
-in -law and sister -in -law, Thomas and Anna

00:21:11.920 --> 00:21:15.329
Swannell. who served as operations manager and

00:21:15.329 --> 00:21:20.509
managing director, respectively. So, her duties

00:21:20.509 --> 00:21:24.490
at this Northampton -based gig were reportedly

00:21:24.490 --> 00:21:27.710
paid her over $50 ,000 a year, including supervising

00:21:27.710 --> 00:21:30.910
the office's day -to -day operations, overseeing

00:21:30.910 --> 00:21:34.150
payroll, arranging meetings, and filling in for

00:21:34.150 --> 00:21:36.769
administrators. They paid her way too little.

00:21:37.769 --> 00:21:40.970
I don't know why they're firing her. They got

00:21:40.970 --> 00:21:44.609
her for a great... So anyhow, however, one day

00:21:44.609 --> 00:21:47.529
in May... They probably found somebody cheaper.

00:21:47.710 --> 00:21:50.130
They found somebody to do it for $45 ,000. I

00:21:50.130 --> 00:21:54.109
don't know. However, one day in May 2022, while

00:21:54.109 --> 00:21:56.289
Herbert was rummaging through one of her manager's

00:21:56.289 --> 00:22:00.410
drawers to complete an admin task, she discovered

00:22:00.410 --> 00:22:03.630
documents pertaining to the cost of employing

00:22:03.630 --> 00:22:08.640
her. The supervisor told the tribunal this discovery

00:22:08.640 --> 00:22:11.680
was extremely upsetting and she believes she

00:22:11.680 --> 00:22:15.380
is going to be terminated. The overseer was subsequently

00:22:15.380 --> 00:22:18.720
invited to a meeting where her boss, Thomas Swannell,

00:22:18.799 --> 00:22:23.079
reprimanded her over her performance. He said

00:22:23.079 --> 00:22:25.720
that he and his wife were not happy with how

00:22:25.720 --> 00:22:29.079
she ran the office, claiming that suppliers weren't

00:22:29.079 --> 00:22:31.279
paid on time and that there were problems with

00:22:31.279 --> 00:22:34.470
bookings. Herbert reportedly began to cry and

00:22:34.470 --> 00:22:38.450
proceeded to lay into her employer. If it was

00:22:38.450 --> 00:22:40.950
anyone else in this position, they would have

00:22:40.950 --> 00:22:44.529
walked away years ago, due to the going on in

00:22:44.529 --> 00:22:48.450
this office, is what she said. I get that. Yeah,

00:22:48.450 --> 00:22:53.069
me too. Like I said, old place, place I'm at

00:22:53.069 --> 00:22:57.329
now, love it. But it's only because you two dickheads

00:22:57.329 --> 00:23:01.490
that I stayed declared to distraught Britt. According

00:23:01.490 --> 00:23:04.650
to her testimony, Thomas reportedly responded,

00:23:05.049 --> 00:23:07.630
don't call me a fucking dickhead or my wife.

00:23:07.710 --> 00:23:10.869
That's it. You're sacked. Pack your shit and

00:23:10.869 --> 00:23:16.569
fuck off. He used worse language than she did.

00:23:16.809 --> 00:23:19.910
I know. I know. I'm on her side 100 % of the

00:23:19.910 --> 00:23:24.549
way. Oh, yes, yes. He used to hit ball. Yeah,

00:23:24.549 --> 00:23:28.009
yeah. When Herbert asked if he'd really given

00:23:28.009 --> 00:23:30.910
her the boot, The irate boss responded, yes,

00:23:30.910 --> 00:23:34.750
I have, now fuck off. The ex -supervisor later

00:23:34.750 --> 00:23:39.269
told the court that the dickhead comment had

00:23:39.269 --> 00:23:42.089
been made in jest and later sued the firm for

00:23:42.089 --> 00:23:45.650
unfair dismissal. And while the company claimed

00:23:45.650 --> 00:23:47.970
she'd been canned for poor performance at work,

00:23:48.569 --> 00:23:53.009
boys, the judge ruled in her favor, claiming

00:23:53.009 --> 00:23:56.410
that the firm had not acted reasonably in all

00:23:56.410 --> 00:23:59.430
of the circumstances in treating her conduct

00:23:59.430 --> 00:24:03.390
as a sufficient reason to dismiss her. The court

00:24:03.390 --> 00:24:06.990
was informed that under the contract's terms,

00:24:07.089 --> 00:24:09.930
she could be sacked over the provocative use

00:24:09.930 --> 00:24:13.970
of insulting or abusive language, but only if

00:24:13.970 --> 00:24:16.369
she had been, and bear with me here because this

00:24:16.369 --> 00:24:20.269
thing is smudged again, given a warning first,

00:24:20.349 --> 00:24:22.869
the document stipulated that only serious violations

00:24:22.869 --> 00:24:25.190
such as threatening and intimidating language

00:24:25.190 --> 00:24:29.319
would warrant Herbert's termination. In accordance,

00:24:29.519 --> 00:24:33.500
Boyce, the judge, concluded that Herbert had

00:24:33.500 --> 00:24:35.740
been fired in the heat of the moment because

00:24:35.740 --> 00:24:39.099
of her behavior on that date, namely her comments

00:24:39.099 --> 00:24:42.059
about Anna and Thomas Swannell. Therefore, she

00:24:42.059 --> 00:24:47.200
should be paid and reinstated if she would like

00:24:47.200 --> 00:24:52.680
to, but let's be honest, Rob. She's not going

00:24:52.680 --> 00:24:55.099
to go back. Yeah, that's what I'm saying is they

00:24:55.099 --> 00:24:57.319
can say she can be reinstated all they want.

00:24:57.460 --> 00:25:00.440
It's not going to happen. We all know this. She

00:25:00.440 --> 00:25:04.900
called them out on some bullshit. Yeah. And they're

00:25:04.900 --> 00:25:08.640
throwing her under the bus. No. Yes. Don't go

00:25:08.640 --> 00:25:11.680
back. Don't go back, girl. Oh, she's not going

00:25:11.680 --> 00:25:14.420
to. I guarantee it. Because we all know what's

00:25:14.420 --> 00:25:16.950
going to happen is this right here. They are

00:25:16.950 --> 00:25:19.430
going to pick over her with a fine comb, and

00:25:19.430 --> 00:25:21.390
the first second they get to let her go, they

00:25:21.390 --> 00:25:24.690
will. Oh, yeah. We've talked about that before.

00:25:25.369 --> 00:25:28.250
Yeah, yeah. They have ways out of this stuff.

00:25:28.289 --> 00:25:30.410
They have ways out on everything according to

00:25:30.410 --> 00:25:33.170
laws. And, I mean, at least in the state of Missouri,

00:25:33.309 --> 00:25:36.690
I know this for a fact, is they can terminate

00:25:36.690 --> 00:25:40.509
you for any reason at any time, and they don't

00:25:40.509 --> 00:25:42.809
even have to have a reason if it gets down to

00:25:42.809 --> 00:25:44.490
it. They can be like, well, why'd you let this

00:25:44.490 --> 00:25:49.049
guy go? I don't know. But at the same time, they

00:25:49.049 --> 00:25:52.549
have to watch what they let you go for. Yes,

00:25:52.549 --> 00:25:56.130
yeah. Anything medical, they cannot let you go

00:25:56.130 --> 00:26:00.009
for. Yeah, I get it. I get it. Well, that's how

00:26:00.009 --> 00:26:02.569
come FMLA, as good as it is, it's a pain in the

00:26:02.569 --> 00:26:05.630
ass, too, because people abuse it. Right, right.

00:26:05.630 --> 00:26:08.230
If people didn't abuse FMLA, it would be fucking

00:26:08.230 --> 00:26:11.640
beautiful. And it is great, because... You know,

00:26:11.680 --> 00:26:13.900
a lot of people that would lose their jobs because

00:26:13.900 --> 00:26:16.920
of illness in their family or themselves. Right.

00:26:17.440 --> 00:26:22.940
Don't. They don't now. You know, so. Anyhow.

00:26:22.940 --> 00:26:24.740
All right. Well, you know what? I've taken up

00:26:24.740 --> 00:26:27.660
enough time. So, Rob, let's go to you. Okay.

00:26:27.700 --> 00:26:32.539
Well, I have one question. Yes. Did Mitch email?

00:26:33.619 --> 00:26:38.920
Hang on. I believe so. Well, that's going to.

00:26:41.640 --> 00:26:46.240
Yes, he did. He did. Yep. Okay. Okay. Well then,

00:26:46.339 --> 00:26:48.640
I'm going to go straight into Lake Area news.

00:26:49.000 --> 00:26:55.099
Okay. The Campton Area Chamber of Commerce has

00:26:55.099 --> 00:26:59.180
announced that it will no longer coordinate and

00:26:59.180 --> 00:27:02.619
be responsible for the popular Christmas on the

00:27:02.619 --> 00:27:07.039
Square again. What's the big deal down here?

00:27:07.900 --> 00:28:12.150
Okay. The Okay. Okay. Okay. the Square event,

00:28:12.490 --> 00:28:15.650
which is scheduled for the next day and night.

00:28:17.130 --> 00:28:20.349
The festivities are expected to remain on the

00:28:20.349 --> 00:28:24.150
calendar for the first weekend in December this

00:28:24.150 --> 00:28:46.859
year. Okay. But the city is picking it up, which

00:28:46.859 --> 00:28:50.079
is cool. Yeah. Because, like I said, that is

00:28:50.079 --> 00:28:53.480
a major thing down here in Canton. Well, a lot

00:28:53.480 --> 00:28:57.660
of towns, especially around smaller towns in

00:28:57.660 --> 00:29:01.059
Missouri or whatever state you're in, you have

00:29:01.059 --> 00:29:17.540
Christmas parades, you know. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

00:29:17.540 --> 00:29:52.059
Right across from here. Very cool. Good. Actually,

00:29:52.140 --> 00:29:53.980
when the city takes over, it's usually better

00:29:53.980 --> 00:29:55.859
anyhow because they have cool lighting ceremonies

00:29:55.859 --> 00:29:59.900
and people volunteer. This has been my experience,

00:30:00.059 --> 00:30:03.099
small town Missouri. It's a really cool atmosphere.

00:30:03.420 --> 00:30:08.859
Honestly, everything's great. The parade, everything.

00:30:09.079 --> 00:30:11.759
Because everybody pitches in. Yeah, that's what

00:30:11.759 --> 00:30:24.420
I'm saying. It's going to be great. It's going

00:30:24.420 --> 00:30:27.259
to remain great. Like I said, this year they're

00:30:27.259 --> 00:30:30.460
at the food truck court the night before, which

00:30:30.460 --> 00:30:33.940
I don't think they've ever done. That's cool.

00:30:34.000 --> 00:30:37.059
It's going to be cool. Very cool. Because about

00:30:37.059 --> 00:30:40.980
all we have is Mexican fast food down here. Yeah,

00:30:40.980 --> 00:30:45.079
yeah. Although if you want Chinese, check out

00:30:45.079 --> 00:30:47.940
Chinatown. Just saying. Okay. All right. You

00:30:47.940 --> 00:30:49.700
know what? When I'm down in that area, check

00:30:49.700 --> 00:30:57.309
it out. All right. That helps. I got to add in

00:30:57.309 --> 00:31:00.650
them ads. Now, okay, I want to know this. You

00:31:00.650 --> 00:31:02.369
got to get used to it. You got to go back to

00:31:02.369 --> 00:31:03.849
their dumpster and look around and make sure

00:31:03.849 --> 00:31:07.789
you don't see any cat pelts. Oh, let's park right

00:31:07.789 --> 00:31:11.470
back by it. We were good. Okay, good, good. That's

00:31:11.470 --> 00:31:23.240
cool. Okay, I don't know about that. No, no,

00:31:23.819 --> 00:31:26.759
no. Honestly, they're impressive. They are some

00:31:26.759 --> 00:31:30.299
big -ass old carp. Really? They're that big of

00:31:30.299 --> 00:31:34.039
tanks? And big tanks, yeah. There's two fish

00:31:34.039 --> 00:31:37.059
tanks that go across. Yeah, they're at least

00:31:37.059 --> 00:31:40.940
50 gallon, if not more, each. Okay, very cool.

00:31:41.099 --> 00:31:43.900
And they go across the front of the store. Yeah.

00:31:44.180 --> 00:31:46.279
See, I think I'd like that. That would be cool.

00:31:46.579 --> 00:31:52.059
What does that sound? I'm packing. Oh, that's

00:31:52.059 --> 00:31:55.920
right. Okay. Okay. All right. Sorry. I'll wait

00:31:55.920 --> 00:31:57.819
until we go on break. All right. We're getting

00:31:57.819 --> 00:31:59.140
ready to go on break right now. We're going to

00:31:59.140 --> 00:32:01.500
come back with some emails. Sound what we need

00:32:01.500 --> 00:32:06.980
to do? Sounds exactly what I need to do. All

00:32:06.980 --> 00:32:09.180
right. Then, everybody, we will be right back

00:32:09.180 --> 00:32:12.519
after you hear a few ha -ha. Two douchebags,

00:32:12.599 --> 00:32:14.559
a microphone, and an effort to keep everything

00:32:14.559 --> 00:32:22.420
fresh. We offer you First World Problems. I can't

00:32:22.420 --> 00:32:25.759
believe the coffee grinder is broke at the big

00:32:25.759 --> 00:32:30.819
box store. There's no way I can be expected to

00:32:30.819 --> 00:32:35.440
grind my coffee beans every damn morning. Strange,

00:32:35.440 --> 00:32:39.799
but true. Some corpses turn into wax statues.

00:32:40.039 --> 00:32:43.220
Under certain conditions, bodies don't rot. Instead,

00:32:43.400 --> 00:32:46.180
fat turns into soap -like substance called adipocere.

00:32:46.559 --> 00:32:49.140
Imagine a perfect waxy corpse sitting in the

00:32:49.140 --> 00:32:51.490
dark for centuries. I don't want any part of

00:32:51.490 --> 00:32:55.630
that. The regular Joe Cube public may believe

00:32:55.630 --> 00:32:58.410
anything he hears and sees, but not here at Two

00:32:58.410 --> 00:33:00.869
Douchebags Microphone. Here at Two Douchebags

00:33:00.869 --> 00:33:03.410
Microphone, we question everything. That's why

00:33:03.410 --> 00:33:05.369
we have a little segment we'd like to call I

00:33:05.369 --> 00:33:08.869
Call Bullshit. Bullshit. Bullshit. Bullshit.

00:33:10.769 --> 00:33:13.230
So let me make sure I have this correct. All

00:33:13.230 --> 00:33:15.630
the waiting for Epstein client list. All the

00:33:15.630 --> 00:33:18.329
promises of justice. All the huge names that

00:33:18.329 --> 00:33:20.839
were all over his private island. Suddenly, there's

00:33:20.839 --> 00:33:23.480
no client list. It's a well -known fact Epstein

00:33:23.480 --> 00:33:26.720
kept a list of clients. So Ghislaine Maxwell

00:33:26.720 --> 00:33:29.019
is rotting in prison and has no memory of any

00:33:29.019 --> 00:33:31.259
of her visitors when she was one of the hosts?

00:33:31.599 --> 00:33:33.700
You mean to tell me she cannot spit out a few

00:33:33.700 --> 00:33:36.279
names? They barter with every other criminal.

00:33:36.380 --> 00:33:40.240
Why not her? I'll tell you why. Because power

00:33:40.240 --> 00:33:43.599
protects power. That's why this bullshit dog

00:33:43.599 --> 00:33:47.079
and pony show will only go so far. Promises and

00:33:47.079 --> 00:33:49.819
convictions turn to dust. I'll even go one step

00:33:49.819 --> 00:33:53.400
further. Jeffrey Epstein is still alive. His

00:33:53.400 --> 00:33:56.140
death was faked. His friends made sure of this.

00:33:56.779 --> 00:33:58.819
The next time you think justice will be served

00:33:58.819 --> 00:34:01.319
will be a cold day in hell. Or just wait until

00:34:01.319 --> 00:34:04.000
his perverts do kick off. Then ask them the temperature

00:34:04.000 --> 00:34:12.480
in hell. And now, Deep Thoughts with Mark. Hmm,

00:34:12.679 --> 00:34:15.880
let's see. If I identify as a dog, and I start

00:34:15.880 --> 00:34:17.760
wandering around the block without a collar on,

00:34:18.139 --> 00:34:20.219
Could Animal Control come by and pick me up?

00:34:21.059 --> 00:34:29.960
I may never know. Harambe used to listen to our

00:34:29.960 --> 00:34:32.500
original show, Two Dipshits and Cheek Radio Shack

00:34:32.500 --> 00:34:35.539
Realistic Tape Recorder. Harambe does not listen

00:34:35.539 --> 00:34:38.079
to our original show, Two Dipshits and Cheek

00:34:38.079 --> 00:34:40.500
Radio Shack Realistic Tape Recorder anymore.

00:34:41.389 --> 00:34:44.090
You might ask why Harambe never listens to our

00:34:44.090 --> 00:34:46.150
original show, Too Gypsious, in a cheap Radio

00:34:46.150 --> 00:34:49.590
Shack realistic tape recorder. Well, it's because

00:34:49.590 --> 00:34:52.230
Harambe is dead. Senselessly murdered because

00:34:52.230 --> 00:34:54.730
some idiot did not watch her child properly while

00:34:54.730 --> 00:34:57.550
looking on her phone. Sadly, Harambe does not

00:34:57.550 --> 00:34:59.630
listen to our original show, Too Gypsious, in

00:34:59.630 --> 00:35:01.530
the cheap Radio Shack realistic tape recorder,

00:35:01.690 --> 00:35:10.460
or any other show. Anymore. Sorry, Harambe. Well,

00:35:10.480 --> 00:35:13.760
you know, I got a neat little story here about

00:35:13.760 --> 00:35:16.360
a little prank that me and Davey, my friend that

00:35:16.360 --> 00:35:20.050
I refer to often, played. You know the old Bannister

00:35:20.050 --> 00:35:22.530
Mall, remember that? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Boy,

00:35:22.570 --> 00:35:26.010
that was an area for a lot of fucking fun. We

00:35:26.010 --> 00:35:28.010
used to get away with murder at that place. We

00:35:28.010 --> 00:35:30.630
had done the stupidest shit. Well, there was

00:35:30.630 --> 00:35:33.190
a security guard, a little short little fucker,

00:35:33.210 --> 00:35:35.889
kind of a little dumpy little guy named Sam.

00:35:36.250 --> 00:35:38.690
And he hated us longhairs. We were in there getting

00:35:38.690 --> 00:35:40.789
all the chicks, and he didn't fucking like it.

00:35:40.929 --> 00:35:44.070
So Sam used to always try to get me kicked out.

00:35:44.210 --> 00:35:46.730
And Davey, too, but more me. He really hated

00:35:46.730 --> 00:35:49.940
me for some reason. So he'd always screw with

00:35:49.940 --> 00:35:52.860
me. He got me kicked out for about two weeks.

00:35:52.920 --> 00:35:55.940
Then we went to court and the judge said you

00:35:55.940 --> 00:35:58.960
can't kick him out. It's a public mall. Yeah.

00:35:59.320 --> 00:36:02.320
So anyhow, you know, one of the biggest ways

00:36:02.320 --> 00:36:06.690
to sell a hoax. is to uh we found this out was

00:36:06.690 --> 00:36:09.929
to have a setup guy that no one knew just a guy

00:36:09.929 --> 00:36:13.010
to confirm what you're saying oh yeah yeah yeah

00:36:13.010 --> 00:36:16.489
i did see that monkey over there yeah last i

00:36:16.489 --> 00:36:18.550
saw him he was on top of that building and he

00:36:18.550 --> 00:36:20.590
was throwing at somebody the random witness you

00:36:20.590 --> 00:36:28.750
see yes yes so um this guy okay this is um banished

00:36:28.750 --> 00:36:32.170
from all early 1980s Me and my good buddy Davey

00:36:32.170 --> 00:36:35.630
were hanging out. We were crazy longhairs that

00:36:35.630 --> 00:36:39.389
the average teen would follow because we're longhairs.

00:36:40.010 --> 00:36:42.650
We're kind of like the Pied Piper of teens. People

00:36:42.650 --> 00:36:45.110
used to look at us and go, well, there's the

00:36:45.110 --> 00:36:47.469
party. Let's just follow them around until they

00:36:47.469 --> 00:36:51.389
go to it. I've done that. Yeah, they used to

00:36:51.389 --> 00:36:52.750
do it all the time. We'd be like, where are you

00:36:52.750 --> 00:36:55.980
guys going? Cleveland? Ohio? No, Missouri. That

00:36:55.980 --> 00:36:58.760
guy looks like he might have beer. Yeah, yeah,

00:36:58.940 --> 00:37:01.280
yeah. So they'd just start following us, and

00:37:01.280 --> 00:37:02.940
that's just the way it were. And then we'd all

00:37:02.940 --> 00:37:06.440
introduce, hey, I'm so -and -so, I'm so -and

00:37:06.440 --> 00:37:09.099
-so. We'd have a good time, Cleveland Lake or

00:37:09.099 --> 00:37:12.340
something. Slamming beers, doing stupid shit.

00:37:13.420 --> 00:37:15.860
So Davey and I had certain buddies that would

00:37:15.860 --> 00:37:18.219
walk up and hear the bullshit that we're spewing

00:37:18.219 --> 00:37:20.679
and then help seal the deal. They'd sell it.

00:37:20.969 --> 00:37:24.630
Completely. One guy that walked around to help

00:37:24.630 --> 00:37:28.250
us was a punker named Jason. Jason was really

00:37:28.250 --> 00:37:30.550
cool because he looked like the type of guy that

00:37:30.550 --> 00:37:33.989
wouldn't like us. But we got to talking to him

00:37:33.989 --> 00:37:37.829
and we saw eye to eye on everything except music.

00:37:38.609 --> 00:37:40.489
Everything else, we were the same, you know?

00:37:40.670 --> 00:37:43.610
Fuck society, fuck the average guy, fuck this,

00:37:43.690 --> 00:37:46.349
fuck that, you know? But when it came to music,

00:37:46.409 --> 00:37:48.329
you know, we were like fucking listening to Motley

00:37:48.329 --> 00:37:50.170
Crue, which you're like, yeah, and he was listening

00:37:50.170 --> 00:37:56.409
to, I don't know, the Ramones, or even deeper

00:37:56.409 --> 00:37:58.889
than that, you know, Dead Kennedys, The Germs.

00:37:59.170 --> 00:38:04.289
Television. Yeah. Yeah, he was a real punker,

00:38:04.289 --> 00:38:09.469
so he had... Yeah. He had an orange mohawk. Sweet.

00:38:09.789 --> 00:38:16.349
Or black spike leather. And Doc Martens. So,

00:38:16.469 --> 00:38:18.650
I mean, you know, you got the guy, right? You

00:38:18.650 --> 00:38:22.650
know who I'm talking about. Great guy, though.

00:38:22.730 --> 00:38:24.929
I'd love to know what happened to him. So, Jason,

00:38:25.010 --> 00:38:27.050
if you happen to hear this abortion, please...

00:38:27.880 --> 00:38:30.019
Oh, I guess that's a bad word now, isn't it?

00:38:30.179 --> 00:38:34.159
Oh. This atrocity. There we go. If you happen

00:38:34.159 --> 00:38:36.400
to hear this horrible atrocity, then, you know,

00:38:36.400 --> 00:38:40.480
hey, send us an email. Yeah. I forgot what the

00:38:40.480 --> 00:38:44.599
valid email is, so. We put so many bullshit ones

00:38:44.599 --> 00:38:47.099
out there, we can't remember our real one. I

00:38:47.099 --> 00:38:49.460
know. There is a valid one, and I can't remember

00:38:49.460 --> 00:38:53.920
what the hell it is. We also have an actual real

00:38:53.920 --> 00:38:56.500
phone number. Hell if I know that one either.

00:38:57.840 --> 00:38:59.880
Yeah, so I can't even remember the real one.

00:39:00.000 --> 00:39:06.059
There you go. Show prep. Yeah. Here I was talking

00:39:06.059 --> 00:39:08.059
about show prep and making a big deal out of

00:39:08.059 --> 00:39:12.079
it, and I can't even remember our email. So,

00:39:12.079 --> 00:39:14.659
anyhow, meanwhile, there's this one security

00:39:14.659 --> 00:39:17.000
guard named Sam that I kind of alluded to or

00:39:17.000 --> 00:39:19.739
actually went into a little bit. Sam was a jealous

00:39:19.739 --> 00:39:23.599
little pussy bitch. He constantly tried to get

00:39:23.599 --> 00:39:25.239
me kicked out and barred from the mall. And like

00:39:25.239 --> 00:39:27.559
I said earlier, he did for a while, for a couple

00:39:27.559 --> 00:39:30.079
of weeks. And we went to court. I got back in,

00:39:30.159 --> 00:39:33.239
which really fumed his ass, burned his ass. Because

00:39:33.239 --> 00:39:35.639
every time I seen him, I was like overzealous

00:39:35.639 --> 00:39:39.019
about him. Hi, Sam, how are you? He came over

00:39:39.019 --> 00:39:41.340
for dinner tonight, little guy. A little tiny

00:39:41.340 --> 00:39:44.340
bit of authority he had, and it's gone. You look

00:39:44.340 --> 00:39:49.019
cute today. I beeped his nose one time. He came

00:39:49.019 --> 00:39:53.389
out and went unglued. So, you know, me and Davey

00:39:53.389 --> 00:39:56.869
used to play Moon Tricks on Sam constantly. Sounds

00:39:56.869 --> 00:39:59.969
like he deserved it. Oh, he did, you know. So

00:39:59.969 --> 00:40:03.190
we quickly went to Jason to be the casual guy

00:40:03.190 --> 00:40:05.909
walking by to sell it. So Jason's over in the

00:40:05.909 --> 00:40:08.230
corner where the movement theaters upstairs used

00:40:08.230 --> 00:40:10.869
to be because then they went downstairs for a

00:40:10.869 --> 00:40:12.949
while and then they disappeared. Oh, yeah. Yeah,

00:40:13.230 --> 00:40:16.369
they used to be upstairs, mid -upstairs. So I

00:40:16.369 --> 00:40:18.809
think right across from Food Court maybe. If

00:40:18.809 --> 00:40:21.170
I remember correctly. Now in my mind, I'm getting

00:40:21.170 --> 00:40:23.690
confused with Ward Parkway because their movie

00:40:23.690 --> 00:40:26.809
theater shifted around a bit too. Okay, well,

00:40:26.889 --> 00:40:29.110
anyhow, this is when they were upstairs because

00:40:29.110 --> 00:40:31.750
I remember that part well because people were

00:40:31.750 --> 00:40:34.289
coming in to go to movies and were screwing with

00:40:34.289 --> 00:40:37.489
them. Yeah. So Davey and I set this one up perfectly.

00:40:37.730 --> 00:40:41.710
We had a buddy that he won a backstage pass to

00:40:41.710 --> 00:40:47.639
Great White. I'll remember that. It's a video

00:40:47.639 --> 00:40:50.500
shoot, okay? As an extra. Oh, that'd be cool.

00:40:50.699 --> 00:40:54.019
Yeah. And he was in it. I don't know if it was

00:40:54.019 --> 00:40:56.199
once bit or something else, but he was in it.

00:40:56.400 --> 00:41:00.739
And on the back was stamped used. But on the

00:41:00.739 --> 00:41:05.079
front, it had an MTV logo. It didn't have a specific

00:41:05.079 --> 00:41:07.860
band. It didn't say Great White. It just said,

00:41:07.860 --> 00:41:12.159
Extra for MTV Video Shoot. And I remember really

00:41:12.159 --> 00:41:15.079
well it was green with an orange MTV on it with

00:41:15.079 --> 00:41:17.619
her famous logo. Yeah. It was really cool looking

00:41:17.619 --> 00:41:22.079
and it was like made with some sort of a... Some

00:41:22.079 --> 00:41:26.460
sort of really thick paper, and it was engraved,

00:41:26.460 --> 00:41:29.039
I guess. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it was raised. It felt

00:41:29.039 --> 00:41:31.199
great. It felt like the seal of something. Embossed

00:41:31.199 --> 00:41:33.639
paper. Embossed, yeah. Raised printing. Raised

00:41:33.639 --> 00:41:35.960
printing, whatever. Makes it a lot harder to

00:41:35.960 --> 00:41:38.920
counterfeit. Plus, it makes it look cool. So

00:41:38.920 --> 00:41:40.940
our friend agreed to let us borrow this for a

00:41:40.940 --> 00:41:42.360
little while. We got it back to him, like we

00:41:42.360 --> 00:41:45.400
said. We didn't tear it up or steal it or nothing.

00:41:46.239 --> 00:41:48.139
Davey started waving the card in the air and

00:41:48.139 --> 00:41:50.920
making fun of me because... he got this and i

00:41:50.920 --> 00:41:53.539
did you know he's like yeah yeah i'm gonna be

00:41:53.539 --> 00:41:56.679
on this uh i'm gonna be on this uh whatever you

00:41:56.679 --> 00:42:01.079
know yeah so the way around going i'm gonna be

00:42:01.079 --> 00:42:02.480
on the video and you're not because you're too

00:42:02.480 --> 00:42:05.139
stupid and you couldn't win and all this stuff

00:42:05.139 --> 00:42:08.900
right so this magical card was supposed to be

00:42:08.900 --> 00:42:12.559
a freebie to be an extra on the set of mtv this

00:42:12.559 --> 00:42:15.420
is what we set it up to be right a list of hundreds

00:42:15.420 --> 00:42:19.820
of bands the secret mtv got walking around was

00:42:19.820 --> 00:42:21.679
he was walking around the mall and this was going

00:42:21.679 --> 00:42:25.199
to be sam eventually so the secret mtv guy that

00:42:25.199 --> 00:42:28.099
has these free magical passes was sam only he

00:42:28.099 --> 00:42:32.320
didn't know it so baby's like yeah yeah and i'm

00:42:32.320 --> 00:42:36.559
like asshole yeah all this stuff so automatically

00:42:36.559 --> 00:42:39.599
see people getting ready to walk in right getting

00:42:39.599 --> 00:42:43.449
ready to go to movie Yeah, just like magnetic.

00:42:44.170 --> 00:42:46.510
They're just staring at us. And Davey's like,

00:42:46.550 --> 00:42:48.929
and all this stuff. I'm like, man, that sucks,

00:42:49.030 --> 00:42:52.050
man. You get to go and I don't. So Davey is waving

00:42:52.050 --> 00:42:54.250
this around, making fun of me, and Jason will

00:42:54.250 --> 00:42:57.510
walk by. They go, yeah, I fucking won one too,

00:42:57.570 --> 00:42:59.050
but I threw it at him because there's no punk

00:42:59.050 --> 00:43:02.690
bands on it. Fuck that. I don't want to go. So

00:43:02.690 --> 00:43:04.550
all of a sudden, all these kids are fucking coming

00:43:04.550 --> 00:43:10.519
over. What was this? That's so clever. Oh, yeah.

00:43:11.320 --> 00:43:16.300
We set it up perfect. So the reason that we picked

00:43:16.300 --> 00:43:19.880
Sam to do this on that day was because we had

00:43:19.880 --> 00:43:22.079
the card for a couple of days. He was wearing

00:43:22.079 --> 00:43:24.519
plain clothes. And I guess he thought he was

00:43:24.519 --> 00:43:26.320
going to catch soft lifters or something, not

00:43:26.320 --> 00:43:28.340
wearing his little fucking bitch outfit that

00:43:28.340 --> 00:43:33.619
he normally wore. So Jason, instead of us, goes,

00:43:33.960 --> 00:43:35.780
Yeah, that fucking little douche right there

00:43:35.780 --> 00:43:38.179
is the one. That's the secret MTV guy. We didn't

00:43:38.179 --> 00:43:40.699
even say it. He did it. It sold it even more.

00:43:40.800 --> 00:43:43.699
Because all these teens are like, you know, fucking

00:43:43.699 --> 00:43:45.940
their heads spun around and they're staring at

00:43:45.940 --> 00:43:51.139
him. So Jason said, yeah, he goes, yeah, I bit

00:43:51.139 --> 00:43:56.119
him on the ear to get one. So the story was,

00:43:56.440 --> 00:43:59.239
was this. It's getting better and better. The

00:43:59.239 --> 00:44:01.940
more outrageous you were, the more likely you

00:44:01.940 --> 00:44:04.659
were to get a free pass. Oh, that's perfect.

00:44:05.159 --> 00:44:09.840
Yeah. So automatically, he had like 50 teens

00:44:09.840 --> 00:44:12.599
jumping in front of him, fucking biting his ear,

00:44:12.699 --> 00:44:15.400
kicking him in the ass. One guy was clucking

00:44:15.400 --> 00:44:18.159
like a chicken in his face. Another guy's like,

00:44:18.219 --> 00:44:21.579
look, I'm a bird. Some guy fucking jumped off

00:44:21.579 --> 00:44:24.800
to one side. Another guy ripped off one of the

00:44:24.800 --> 00:44:29.280
trees and hit him with a switch. And Sam was

00:44:29.280 --> 00:44:32.000
just fucking freaking out, man. He's like, what

00:44:32.000 --> 00:44:33.920
the fuck? And they're like, we want a pass. We

00:44:33.920 --> 00:44:36.860
want a pass. He's like, what pass? This probably

00:44:36.860 --> 00:44:40.420
went on for fucking 25 minutes. He was losing

00:44:40.420 --> 00:44:43.300
his mind. Yes, he was. He didn't know what was

00:44:43.300 --> 00:44:44.760
going on. What planet did I wake up on? You get

00:44:44.760 --> 00:44:47.820
10 teens away from him, right? And then you have

00:44:47.820 --> 00:44:53.239
10 more teens attacking. So we leave. We let

00:44:53.239 --> 00:44:55.500
this go on and let it go downhill. And those

00:44:55.500 --> 00:44:57.480
teams told another one, get the pass from that

00:44:57.480 --> 00:44:59.800
fucker. He didn't give us anything. So this just

00:44:59.800 --> 00:45:02.659
kept rolling on and rolling on and rolling on.

00:45:04.440 --> 00:45:07.000
We come back a couple hours later. Oh, no, I

00:45:07.000 --> 00:45:08.699
know what we did. We went to Andy's Santa Fe

00:45:08.699 --> 00:45:11.400
and had a burrito. I remember the Andy's. We

00:45:11.400 --> 00:45:13.280
weren't even old enough to drink, but we still

00:45:13.280 --> 00:45:15.820
did because they never carded there. We both

00:45:15.820 --> 00:45:17.980
had margaritas. We were fucking laughing at our

00:45:17.980 --> 00:45:20.719
feet on the table and shit. Davey had fucking

00:45:20.719 --> 00:45:22.800
flip -flops on, so they eventually got mad and

00:45:22.800 --> 00:45:25.199
kicked us out because you could see his toenails

00:45:25.199 --> 00:45:29.139
hanging out. People did like that. Yeah. So,

00:45:29.139 --> 00:45:31.820
anyhow, we get back in, and all of a sudden we

00:45:31.820 --> 00:45:34.239
see Sam coming by, all disheveled. By this time,

00:45:34.260 --> 00:45:36.400
everything was gone. It was all said and done.

00:45:36.800 --> 00:45:39.760
I go, hey, Sam. I go, do you want to know where

00:45:39.760 --> 00:45:43.719
all that came from? Us. Davey pulled out the

00:45:43.719 --> 00:45:45.679
card and said, see this? I go, yeah, you just

00:45:45.679 --> 00:45:47.860
been had, bitch. Oh, he was fucking furious.

00:45:47.960 --> 00:45:50.239
He turned right back. You motherfucker. I'm going

00:45:50.239 --> 00:45:51.840
to get you out of here. I'm going to get you

00:45:51.840 --> 00:45:54.940
guys kicked out for good. I go, what for? I didn't

00:45:54.940 --> 00:45:58.300
do anything against them all. We didn't get kicked

00:45:58.300 --> 00:46:03.860
out. That was one of the best fucking breaks

00:46:03.860 --> 00:46:05.880
we ever played. It was brilliant. And I just

00:46:05.880 --> 00:46:07.460
thought about it the other day. I'm like, my

00:46:07.460 --> 00:46:12.039
God. There are some other ones I've got to remember

00:46:12.039 --> 00:46:17.280
that we did to him, too. And then I got another

00:46:17.280 --> 00:46:21.340
one. You listen to the solo cast, right? I'm

00:46:21.340 --> 00:46:22.579
going to tell the story about the nut buyer.

00:46:23.159 --> 00:46:27.829
Oh, yes. Oh, gosh. Hey there, slap nuts. It's

00:46:27.829 --> 00:46:33.250
time for the Creeps Music News. Hey, my little

00:46:33.250 --> 00:46:35.909
pumpkin seeds. This is Johnny Rohypnol with your

00:46:35.909 --> 00:46:39.110
music news. This November, Bad Company will be

00:46:39.110 --> 00:46:41.150
inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

00:46:41.570 --> 00:46:43.750
Only two of the band's original members remain,

00:46:44.250 --> 00:46:47.789
Paul Rogers, the singer, and drummer Simon Kirk,

00:46:47.989 --> 00:46:50.489
the latter of which said the odds of them performing

00:46:50.489 --> 00:46:53.929
at the ceremony are very good. It's not a definite

00:46:53.929 --> 00:46:57.030
just yet, though. I don't know. I know that we've

00:46:57.030 --> 00:46:59.010
been approached to play a couple of songs Kirk

00:46:59.010 --> 00:47:01.269
recently explained to Defenders of the Faith

00:47:01.269 --> 00:47:04.050
podcast. I've spoken with Paul. Paul's health,

00:47:04.150 --> 00:47:06.769
as you know, is not good. But I think I'm crossing

00:47:06.769 --> 00:47:08.929
my fingers that we will be able to play at least

00:47:08.929 --> 00:47:11.670
one song. I don't know what that is yet, and

00:47:11.670 --> 00:47:13.349
I don't even know who's going to be inducting

00:47:13.349 --> 00:47:18.190
us yet. Simon, we hope you are correct. We would

00:47:18.190 --> 00:47:21.409
love to hear one last song from you two. This

00:47:21.409 --> 00:47:24.550
is Johnny Rohypnol. That was your music news,

00:47:24.630 --> 00:47:30.880
and remember, bar chords are bullshit. They used

00:47:30.880 --> 00:47:33.900
to call it Jump -O -Lean until your mama got

00:47:33.900 --> 00:47:38.239
on it. Hey everybody, this is Uncle Rob. I'm

00:47:38.239 --> 00:47:55.980
gonna give you some tips for life. Two douchebags

00:47:55.980 --> 00:47:58.039
and a microphone. I'm Mark here in the Kansas

00:47:58.039 --> 00:48:02.539
City area at the Talk is Cheap studio. And I

00:48:02.539 --> 00:48:05.500
am Rob at the beautiful angle arm of Lake of

00:48:05.500 --> 00:48:08.500
the Elepharts and Cup Black studio. Whack, whack.

00:48:10.260 --> 00:48:13.619
That was a bad whack, whack. Mine wasn't too

00:48:13.619 --> 00:48:17.179
good either. I've had a long weekend. Yeah, everybody

00:48:17.179 --> 00:48:19.460
just deal with it. Our animal noises aren't quite

00:48:19.460 --> 00:48:21.260
up to par tonight, but you'll get through it.

00:48:22.159 --> 00:48:26.099
All right. All right. I've got some emails here.

00:48:26.579 --> 00:48:31.039
First one is, Mark, I have a stray cat stuck

00:48:31.039 --> 00:48:34.559
in my tree in my backyard. This cat yells louder

00:48:34.559 --> 00:48:37.119
than your show cat. Oh, I feel sorry for you.

00:48:37.760 --> 00:48:41.679
Oh, shit. Yeah. You probably don't get any sleep

00:48:41.679 --> 00:48:45.519
at all. I'm not sure what to do. Do you have

00:48:45.519 --> 00:48:50.099
any ideas? Walter at Penn Valley Parkway. I do.

00:48:50.260 --> 00:48:53.179
Yeah, I do, too. Cut down the tree. Rob, you

00:48:53.179 --> 00:49:02.320
got something? There you go. That cat will come

00:49:02.320 --> 00:49:05.820
out of that tree. I guarantee it. Guarantee.

00:49:07.340 --> 00:49:10.940
I promise you. I promise you that cat will come

00:49:10.940 --> 00:49:13.099
out. You might want to go with Rob's before mine.

00:49:13.179 --> 00:49:15.480
I'm not for sure. It would be kind of funny to

00:49:15.480 --> 00:49:20.760
cut the tree down and see the cat go. Yeah, you

00:49:20.760 --> 00:49:27.610
probably heard you. Yes, there you go. Rob has

00:49:27.610 --> 00:49:29.710
the answer, not me. You should have asked Rob.

00:49:32.829 --> 00:49:35.369
Why do people send it? Oh, I know why. Because

00:49:35.369 --> 00:49:37.909
it's funny. I'm telling you, the people that

00:49:37.909 --> 00:49:42.289
listen to this podcast are fucking funny. Some

00:49:42.289 --> 00:49:43.409
of the stuff they come up with. Oh, it's great.

00:49:43.750 --> 00:49:46.590
Oh, oh. It's great. And also, yeah, we have another

00:49:46.590 --> 00:49:49.789
one of your recipes. Did you know that you have

00:49:49.789 --> 00:49:52.050
a famous raspberry squirrel lemon cake, Rob?

00:49:53.329 --> 00:49:57.119
Did you know this? No, I did not. Well, I'll

00:49:57.119 --> 00:50:00.420
tell you about it here in a minute. Oh, my God.

00:50:00.820 --> 00:50:05.820
I got Mitch's one right here. Ron. Okay, okay.

00:50:05.940 --> 00:50:08.280
Well, I'm going to forget about the raspberry

00:50:08.280 --> 00:50:12.019
swirl because I got some shit from Mitch. Okay.

00:50:12.420 --> 00:50:15.340
We'll get back to that swirl. And the world.

00:50:15.619 --> 00:50:18.480
And the world. Okay, we'll get back to the raspberry

00:50:18.480 --> 00:50:20.599
swirl a little bit later. But first, we have

00:50:20.599 --> 00:50:24.559
Mitch here. Rob, we just renamed Rob Rad South

00:50:24.559 --> 00:50:27.579
End Beach. Dollar General stepped up with the

00:50:27.579 --> 00:50:30.099
naming rights. Dollar Beach is the new name.

00:50:30.179 --> 00:50:33.460
Sorry, Rob. Mitch, still heartbroken by Rob's

00:50:33.460 --> 00:50:42.460
betrayal. Rob? All right. Well, here comes the

00:50:42.460 --> 00:50:47.119
major announcement in the world. Okay. I'm going

00:50:47.119 --> 00:50:51.989
to do it, Mark. I'm going to do it. Okay. Street

00:50:51.989 --> 00:51:28.829
Talk. Lucas Oil Speedway is where I've seen a

00:51:28.829 --> 00:51:33.429
really heavy little 10 -year -old girl do somersaults

00:51:33.429 --> 00:51:36.150
all the way down the concourse over and over

00:51:36.150 --> 00:51:39.449
and over because it's all grass. Yeah, yeah.

00:51:39.710 --> 00:52:02.199
Yeah. Well, I told you about my last... That

00:52:02.199 --> 00:52:08.099
is very close. I looked at her. I said, babe,

00:52:08.239 --> 00:52:10.880
those are some badass cars. She looked at me

00:52:10.880 --> 00:52:14.639
and says, dear, no, this is boat week. Those

00:52:14.639 --> 00:52:19.460
are boats. And they're rattling on windows in

00:52:19.460 --> 00:52:35.699
the diner. So, yeah. That's pretty solid. Let's

00:52:35.699 --> 00:52:37.179
see. What can you say now? I'm keeping everything.

00:52:38.679 --> 00:52:44.420
You can say right next to the beautiful Lucas

00:52:44.420 --> 00:53:08.780
Oil Speedway. Yes. There you go. There you go.

00:53:08.860 --> 00:53:11.760
All of you girls had your chance. You threw it

00:53:11.760 --> 00:53:14.860
away. The world just heard it. Yep, that's it.

00:53:15.159 --> 00:53:18.280
I told her it was coming. There's a lot of young

00:53:18.280 --> 00:53:20.559
ladies throwing themselves off the road right

00:53:20.559 --> 00:53:25.960
now and crying in despair. Well, Frances is 13

00:53:25.960 --> 00:53:28.960
years younger than me, so. Okay, well, all of

00:53:28.960 --> 00:53:31.099
these are 13 years younger than you, Frances.

00:53:31.860 --> 00:53:34.239
And they just threw themselves off the road and

00:53:34.239 --> 00:53:36.539
they're screaming, I should have went for it.

00:53:41.739 --> 00:53:44.340
We have the communication. We got everything.

00:53:45.079 --> 00:53:50.199
That's awesome. Good. Hopefully one of the best

00:53:50.199 --> 00:53:53.179
relationships of my life. Yeah, I think it will

00:53:53.179 --> 00:53:56.980
be. I think it will be that. If not, I end up

00:53:56.980 --> 00:54:02.900
back at Lake of the Ozarks. There you go. Hey,

00:54:02.920 --> 00:54:06.360
dude. Oh, shoot. Okay. This is Ronnie in Tulsa.

00:54:07.280 --> 00:54:12.599
Yes. He canned this episode, but I'm going to

00:54:12.599 --> 00:54:15.599
go ahead and read it. I got it all down. Hey,

00:54:15.719 --> 00:54:17.820
douches, I'm almost done with the first episode

00:54:17.820 --> 00:54:20.699
of my new podcast. Ronnie Rance is the name I'm

00:54:20.699 --> 00:54:23.800
going with. I would love it if you could play

00:54:23.800 --> 00:54:25.900
it and let me know what you think. Ronnie in

00:54:25.900 --> 00:54:28.480
Tulsa, the Tulsa King. He has since changed that.

00:54:28.599 --> 00:54:32.179
He scrapped it, and I listened to what he said,

00:54:32.360 --> 00:54:35.760
and I agree it needed to be scrapped. He needs

00:54:35.760 --> 00:54:37.860
a different delivery. He needs to come up with

00:54:37.860 --> 00:54:41.159
a... a better area to record in because his voice

00:54:41.159 --> 00:54:44.039
was so tinny that you couldn't really tell what

00:54:44.039 --> 00:54:47.260
he was saying. But as far as Ronnie Rantz and

00:54:47.260 --> 00:54:49.679
the content, I think it was fine. It was just

00:54:49.679 --> 00:54:52.860
the sound. But when he gets it all up, we're

00:54:52.860 --> 00:54:56.000
going to play some right here. Yeah, I want to

00:54:56.000 --> 00:54:58.460
hear it. Yeah, I want to listen to it. Well,

00:54:58.480 --> 00:55:00.139
everybody's going to get a sample of it because

00:55:00.139 --> 00:55:02.059
we're going to play a little bit of it on this

00:55:02.059 --> 00:55:07.469
program. Right on, right on. Yep. Rob, where

00:55:07.469 --> 00:55:09.750
can I purchase your book, How to Track Your Enemy

00:55:09.750 --> 00:55:12.949
by Scent? I want to buy a few copies for Christmas

00:55:12.949 --> 00:55:21.489
gifts. Thanks, Earl in Massachusetts. Rob? Okay,

00:55:21.630 --> 00:55:29.170
P .O. Box 3569, Hampton, Missouri. Send a request.

00:55:29.429 --> 00:55:36.250
I will ship it out to you. There you go. Rob,

00:55:36.250 --> 00:55:38.610
could you give me the secret ingredient in your

00:55:38.610 --> 00:55:45.349
famous raspberry swirl lemon cake? Rob? Easy.

00:55:45.650 --> 00:55:51.170
Okay. Easy. My secret ingredient? Love. That's

00:55:51.170 --> 00:55:53.809
all they're asking, my secret ingredient? Yeah,

00:55:53.849 --> 00:55:55.730
it's love. You put a slice of love in there,

00:55:55.769 --> 00:55:58.170
right? No, it's not. No, it's not. It isn't love?

00:55:58.349 --> 00:56:03.510
Okay. It's jalapeno. Oh. Well, jalapeno's close

00:56:03.510 --> 00:56:12.070
to love. All right. There you go, jalapeno. Thanks

00:56:12.070 --> 00:56:14.369
for your secret ingredient, Rob. That was very

00:56:14.369 --> 00:56:16.690
kind of you to go ahead and let loose with that.

00:56:16.789 --> 00:56:20.010
You didn't have to. Thank you for the heads up

00:56:20.010 --> 00:56:25.349
on that one. Yes. Mark, I would love it if you

00:56:25.349 --> 00:56:28.670
could do some Secret Society short takes. I would

00:56:28.670 --> 00:56:32.000
love to hear the information you uncover. Tessa

00:56:32.000 --> 00:56:35.179
in Montgomery, Alabama. I think by Secret Societies.

00:56:35.219 --> 00:56:38.820
I think she's talking about the Illuminati. Yes,

00:56:38.820 --> 00:56:42.500
yes, yes. That's where she needs to go to listen

00:56:42.500 --> 00:56:46.719
to her friends. Yeah, but our friend Jason just

00:56:46.719 --> 00:56:48.860
stepped down. He's not doing podcasting anymore.

00:56:49.900 --> 00:56:52.800
Okay, but that's fine. I still like the other

00:56:52.800 --> 00:56:55.039
guys. They still put on a hell of a show. No,

00:56:55.039 --> 00:56:57.000
I just wanted to let everybody know if they listened

00:56:57.000 --> 00:56:59.519
before because of our recommendation. It's a

00:56:59.519 --> 00:57:02.579
little different. but he still supports them,

00:57:02.739 --> 00:57:06.699
and they still do a fantastic job. So, yeah,

00:57:06.820 --> 00:57:10.079
yeah. And I forgot, what is the name of it? Let

00:57:10.079 --> 00:57:13.960
me check on that or something. God damn it. I

00:57:13.960 --> 00:57:18.460
was hoping you'd remember. I have it somewhere.

00:57:19.559 --> 00:57:24.599
Yeah, I got it. Where the hell do I have it?

00:57:24.820 --> 00:57:31.260
Oh, shit. Oh, I know. It's just that I don't

00:57:31.260 --> 00:57:38.380
want my music to start playing. Okay. Oh, let's

00:57:38.380 --> 00:57:41.239
get to the bottom of that. There we go. There

00:57:41.239 --> 00:57:44.099
we go. Let's get to the bottom of that, is the

00:57:44.099 --> 00:57:47.000
name of the podcast. Yes. And I was actually

00:57:47.000 --> 00:57:49.179
telling Prince about that. That's some shit Prince

00:57:49.179 --> 00:57:52.420
is going to get into. Okay, cool. He's into shit

00:57:52.420 --> 00:57:55.099
like that. I will do some short takes like that,

00:57:55.159 --> 00:57:59.579
yes. But, I mean, the true experts are less to...

00:57:59.800 --> 00:58:02.480
Let's get to the bottom of that. Yeah, listen

00:58:02.480 --> 00:58:06.460
to these guys. They are awesome. I will do some

00:58:06.460 --> 00:58:10.780
of them and some things I've noticed about like

00:58:10.780 --> 00:58:13.760
the Federal Reserve and Jerome Powell and all

00:58:13.760 --> 00:58:18.460
that whole thing. You know what? I'm just going

00:58:18.460 --> 00:58:21.460
to save it for the short take. So anyhow, that's

00:58:21.460 --> 00:58:25.519
the end of the email. So Rob, do you have something?

00:58:26.440 --> 00:58:38.079
Yeah, I do. Two of the greatest boxers of all

00:58:38.079 --> 00:58:43.800
time have agreed to a fight. TMZ Sports has learned

00:58:43.800 --> 00:58:48.360
that Mike Tyson and Floyd Mayweather have signed

00:58:48.360 --> 00:58:53.199
a deal to square off against one another. Wow.

00:59:09.769 --> 00:59:14.550
and exact date and precise location are not yet

00:59:14.550 --> 01:00:23.369
known but nonetheless Tyson said Yeah, an expedition

01:00:23.369 --> 01:00:54.989
match. Just like Tyson and Jake Paul. I like

01:00:54.989 --> 01:00:59.570
that. I like that. Because they're older. And

01:00:59.570 --> 01:01:02.030
in the article I read, the reason why they're

01:01:02.030 --> 01:01:05.809
doing that is because of Tyson's age. Yeah. And

01:01:05.809 --> 01:01:09.309
it's an expedition match. Yeah. So, you know.

01:01:10.949 --> 01:01:15.070
Yeah, I think it's going to be great. I think

01:01:15.070 --> 01:01:31.420
so, too. You know, Jake Paul, I guess any other

01:01:31.420 --> 01:01:35.800
retired dude. But now, from what I hear, and

01:01:35.800 --> 01:01:38.340
I'm going to come up with that story, he's got

01:01:38.340 --> 01:01:46.659
a real match coming. But, yeah. Yeah, there we

01:01:46.659 --> 01:01:53.360
go. We got Tyson versus Floyd Mayweather. Cool.

01:01:55.239 --> 01:01:59.840
Very cool. I'm all for that. I think that, if

01:01:59.840 --> 01:02:01.760
nothing else, it's going to be intriguing, right?

01:02:03.219 --> 01:02:06.559
I think it's just to make money. Well, of course

01:02:06.559 --> 01:02:12.260
it is. Of course it is. All right. Let's take

01:02:12.260 --> 01:02:16.099
our second break and come back. I've got a story

01:02:16.099 --> 01:02:20.719
about Jet Belly. Sound all right? Sound all right.

01:02:21.099 --> 01:02:30.739
Okay. We'll be right back. Have you ever looked

01:02:30.739 --> 01:02:32.619
at something and said, hey, I wonder what the

01:02:32.619 --> 01:02:36.320
origin of that is? Well, so have we. That's why

01:02:36.320 --> 01:02:40.139
we give you the origin of... The origin of the

01:02:40.139 --> 01:02:42.460
middle finger. The origin of the middle finger

01:02:42.460 --> 01:02:45.579
gesture as an insult is debated, but it's widely

01:02:45.579 --> 01:02:47.840
believed to have roots in ancient Greece and

01:02:47.840 --> 01:02:50.300
Rome, specifically asleep to phallic symbolism

01:02:50.300 --> 01:02:53.260
and used as a way to express insults, taunt,

01:02:53.260 --> 01:02:55.840
or even mourn off evil. The specific origins

01:02:55.840 --> 01:02:58.139
are unclear. The middle finger has been documented

01:02:58.139 --> 01:03:00.920
as a gesture of disrespected anger for over two

01:03:00.920 --> 01:03:05.360
millennia. Swimming in toxic masculinity and

01:03:05.360 --> 01:03:07.880
wiping their ass with politically correct wash

01:03:07.880 --> 01:03:10.940
rags. Two douchebags and a microphone invade

01:03:10.940 --> 01:03:16.980
your ear holes in three, two, one. Hey, my fellow

01:03:16.980 --> 01:03:20.940
heavy breathers, this is Dash Riptide, your music

01:03:20.940 --> 01:03:28.030
news. Quick music news for you tonight. Apparently,

01:03:28.070 --> 01:03:31.309
on Ozzy Osbourne's death certificate, it has,

01:03:31.469 --> 01:03:35.789
in the occupation department, rock legend. We

01:03:35.789 --> 01:03:38.909
could not agree more. This is Gash Rooktine,

01:03:39.070 --> 01:03:42.389
and that was your music news. If it's too loud,

01:03:42.489 --> 01:03:51.989
you probably have ear damage, just like me. Four

01:03:51.989 --> 01:03:55.550
out of five people surveyed said that TV douchebags

01:03:55.550 --> 01:03:58.030
and a microphone podcast are more entertaining

01:03:58.030 --> 01:04:01.510
than a gum infection. The fifth one called the

01:04:01.510 --> 01:04:46.570
cops, and we had to leave. celebrating birthdays.

01:04:47.849 --> 01:04:51.030
Oh, hey, look at the time. It's time for the

01:04:51.030 --> 01:04:57.590
crazy -ass word of the day. Next up, things overheard

01:04:57.590 --> 01:05:03.150
in hell. Man, Axel Rose is such a great childhood

01:05:03.150 --> 01:05:10.909
therapist. I hope he writes more books. This

01:05:10.909 --> 01:05:13.309
is Joshua Belmont, your food for thought man

01:05:13.309 --> 01:05:16.289
on The Hustle. so i just realized a genius that

01:05:16.289 --> 01:05:19.090
gets absolutely no credit his name is marshall

01:05:19.090 --> 01:05:21.909
taylor he is credited with the first bag of salad

01:05:21.909 --> 01:05:25.230
mix that was bagged and sold yesterday was his

01:05:25.230 --> 01:05:29.190
birthday i believe he is still alive this guy's

01:05:29.190 --> 01:05:31.949
genius will never be fully appreciated before

01:05:31.949 --> 01:05:34.510
this ban we settled for iceberg lettuce with

01:05:34.510 --> 01:05:37.469
maybe a couple of croutons and some cheese was

01:05:37.469 --> 01:05:41.090
mr taylor satisfied with that hell no He realized

01:05:41.090 --> 01:05:43.230
that Billy Americana would never go out and buy

01:05:43.230 --> 01:05:45.570
a couple of radishes, a couple of carrots, a

01:05:45.570 --> 01:05:47.929
head of purple cabbage, maybe snow peas, and

01:05:47.929 --> 01:05:50.210
possibly some cute romaine bladders for extra

01:05:50.210 --> 01:05:53.809
bougie. Mr. Taylor, you should have a national

01:05:53.809 --> 01:06:12.829
holiday. Two douchebags and microphone. I'm Mark

01:06:12.829 --> 01:06:15.250
here in the Kansas City area at the Talk is Cheap

01:06:15.250 --> 01:06:22.750
studio. And I am Rob at the beautiful Niagara

01:06:22.750 --> 01:06:26.869
Arm of Lake of the Ozarks. For now, in the Doug

01:06:26.869 --> 01:06:32.210
Blind studio. Wham, wham. For now. For now. Yep.

01:06:34.449 --> 01:06:36.869
What is jet bagging? It feels so good. I've been

01:06:36.869 --> 01:06:39.329
holding that in for like two weeks. I know you

01:06:39.329 --> 01:06:42.489
have. you've been wanting to say something. I'm

01:06:42.489 --> 01:06:47.150
glad you finally got to, so. What is Jet Body?

01:06:47.150 --> 01:06:50.389
I did not ask her permission to announce it,

01:06:50.449 --> 01:06:53.469
but I did. Does she listen? That's not me. Does

01:06:53.469 --> 01:06:59.329
she listen? Sometimes. Okay. There's a chance

01:06:59.329 --> 01:07:02.809
she may not even hear it then. So there. Oh,

01:07:02.969 --> 01:07:06.070
no. I'm going to straight up tell her. You're

01:07:06.070 --> 01:07:08.690
just going to beg. You're going to throw yourself

01:07:08.690 --> 01:07:11.849
at the mercy of the court, right? Yes, I am.

01:07:11.909 --> 01:07:14.670
I got to. Okay. Well, good luck. Let me know

01:07:14.670 --> 01:07:18.389
how that goes. We've already went from a wedding

01:07:18.389 --> 01:07:22.449
party of four to about, oh, we're going to have

01:07:22.449 --> 01:07:25.630
like 30, 40 people there already. And she's like,

01:07:25.690 --> 01:07:29.329
what the fuck? We just want something small.

01:07:31.309 --> 01:07:39.780
Okay. And it's all my fault. Fair enough. What

01:07:39.780 --> 01:07:43.579
is jet belly, Rob? I don't have a clue. I'm waiting

01:07:43.579 --> 01:07:45.900
to hear that from you. Okay. How do you milk

01:07:45.900 --> 01:07:49.659
your gas in a plane seat if you need to have

01:07:49.659 --> 01:07:55.300
a mid -flight toot? Are you feeling gassy at

01:07:55.300 --> 01:07:59.360
30 ,000 feet? You're not flying solo. Whether

01:07:59.360 --> 01:08:01.639
you're headed to paradise or jetting off for

01:08:01.639 --> 01:08:04.119
business, many passengers find themselves battling

01:08:04.119 --> 01:08:07.019
a different kind of turbulence when their guts

01:08:07.019 --> 01:08:10.360
revolt mid -air. leaving them bloated, cramping,

01:08:10.360 --> 01:08:13.480
and desperate for solid ground. I've been there

01:08:13.480 --> 01:08:18.539
before. You? Yeah. No, I have not. Oh, that's

01:08:18.539 --> 01:08:21.600
right. No, no, no. I keep forgetting. Yeah. Okay,

01:08:21.720 --> 01:08:24.020
but you've had it in other places, you know,

01:08:24.020 --> 01:08:28.300
like a bus or something or whatever. Yeah. All

01:08:28.300 --> 01:08:30.180
right. To get to the bottom of this phenomenon

01:08:30.180 --> 01:08:33.600
known as jet belly, the Post spoke to Dr. Brennan

01:08:33.600 --> 01:08:37.079
Spiegel. a UCLA professor, director of health

01:08:37.079 --> 01:08:40.960
services research at Cedars -Sinai, who also

01:08:40.960 --> 01:08:43.819
broke down how to prevent it from wrecking your

01:08:43.819 --> 01:08:46.619
next flight. Me, you just fucking do it, and

01:08:46.619 --> 01:08:48.439
then everyone around you has to deal with it,

01:08:48.460 --> 01:08:51.140
right? What are they going to do, jump off? Right.

01:08:51.340 --> 01:08:54.300
Yeah, you go ahead and blast them, and you turn

01:08:54.300 --> 01:08:56.680
around and you look at everyone else like they

01:08:56.680 --> 01:08:59.060
did it, and they'll back down. They'll be like,

01:08:59.100 --> 01:09:01.199
man, they think I did it. We were taught well

01:09:01.199 --> 01:09:04.359
about that. Yeah. We were drained. You stare

01:09:04.359 --> 01:09:07.020
everybody down like, who the fuck did that? And

01:09:07.020 --> 01:09:08.880
all of a sudden, you're off the suspect list.

01:09:09.000 --> 01:09:12.880
Hey, me. Hey, me. Was it you? Was it me? Yeah.

01:09:13.119 --> 01:09:16.000
Yeah. Yeah. That thing. We were very well seasoned

01:09:16.000 --> 01:09:18.300
at that. You glare at him and you're like, man,

01:09:18.340 --> 01:09:22.560
I know that guy didn't do it. He's pissed. My

01:09:22.560 --> 01:09:26.239
dad used to bomb me at Walmart, walk off, and

01:09:26.239 --> 01:09:38.659
leave me for going away. The small ones. That'll

01:09:38.659 --> 01:09:40.899
learn the kid. He's got to learn it sometime

01:09:40.899 --> 01:09:43.020
or another. I'm tough than him. Oh, yeah. Oh,

01:09:43.119 --> 01:09:48.960
yeah, he did. He was a pro at it. Oh, so he is

01:09:48.960 --> 01:09:51.880
a farting dasher, huh? He fucking blasts me out

01:09:51.880 --> 01:09:54.520
and he dashed. Oh, yeah, yeah. You'd hear him

01:09:54.520 --> 01:09:59.220
two aisles over laughing his ass off. Thank you,

01:09:59.220 --> 01:10:03.140
Dad. Good man there. Tell me well. I do that

01:10:03.140 --> 01:10:10.079
to my son now. Good. Good. Oh, man. I can't do

01:10:10.079 --> 01:10:14.960
this, Val, but there have been others that you

01:10:14.960 --> 01:10:19.520
ever give them a Dutch oven. Oh, my God. Oh,

01:10:19.520 --> 01:10:22.140
geez. You see, they can't open their mouth because

01:10:22.140 --> 01:10:24.520
they'll suck and fart. So all they can do is

01:10:24.520 --> 01:10:28.579
go and hold their breath underneath the covers.

01:10:29.380 --> 01:10:38.979
It's evil. Got that treatment? Maybe, maybe not.

01:10:39.579 --> 01:10:42.539
The same hair, there may or may not have been

01:10:42.539 --> 01:10:45.380
a couple of exes that had that treatment. I cannot

01:10:45.380 --> 01:10:50.260
confirm or deny. But it very well was in the

01:10:50.260 --> 01:10:52.560
realm of possibility of something like that happening,

01:10:52.640 --> 01:11:03.140
right? That's right, including shoving someone's

01:11:03.140 --> 01:11:05.960
head underneath the covers and holding them there.

01:11:08.300 --> 01:11:14.979
I got all bases covered there. Yes. Okay, what

01:11:14.979 --> 01:11:17.979
is jet belly and why does it happen? It's a nickname

01:11:17.979 --> 01:11:21.220
for bloating and cramping many people get on

01:11:21.220 --> 01:11:24.340
airplanes. At sea level, Spiegel explained, gravity

01:11:24.340 --> 01:11:27.800
pulls air molecules tight to the earth, keeping

01:11:27.800 --> 01:11:30.279
the atmosphere dense. But as you climb higher,

01:11:30.399 --> 01:11:33.199
the air thins and pressure drops. Even though

01:11:33.199 --> 01:11:36.020
airplane cabins are pressurized, they don't fully

01:11:36.020 --> 01:11:39.039
match sea level, so your intestines inflate a

01:11:39.039 --> 01:11:42.439
little, said Spiegel, author of Pool, How Gravity

01:11:42.439 --> 01:11:45.399
Shapes Your Body, Steadies Your Mind, and Guides

01:11:45.399 --> 01:11:48.180
Our Health. What a long book title. I'd never

01:11:48.180 --> 01:11:52.140
read that, would you? In other words, it makes

01:11:52.140 --> 01:11:56.300
you shit. Yes. Yeah. Okay, there we go. Thank

01:11:56.300 --> 01:12:00.869
you. That means gas is... Keep it simple. Yes.

01:12:02.529 --> 01:12:05.390
That means gas is trapped in the gut expand,

01:12:05.489 --> 01:12:08.569
almost like a sealed snack bag puffing up in

01:12:08.569 --> 01:12:13.390
mid -flight. He continued. In a 1969 study, researchers

01:12:13.390 --> 01:12:17.189
found that abdominal gas in 18 military men who

01:12:17.189 --> 01:12:20.189
agreed not to fart during a simulated flight...

01:12:20.189 --> 01:12:25.090
That's why I had to read this article. It's fucking

01:12:25.090 --> 01:12:31.939
bizarre. They all agreed not to fart. Hey, hey,

01:12:31.939 --> 01:12:34.520
hey, Sam, yeah. You're going to not fart? Hey,

01:12:34.520 --> 01:12:36.979
what about you? I'm not going to fart either.

01:12:37.260 --> 01:12:40.119
Hey, hey, Frank. Nope, nope, not me. I'm not

01:12:40.119 --> 01:12:41.340
going to fart. I'm going to hold it in. I'm going

01:12:41.340 --> 01:12:44.539
to hold it in. But hey, hey, hey, our military

01:12:44.539 --> 01:12:51.180
are some of the best trained. True, true. So

01:12:51.180 --> 01:12:54.779
they all agreed not to fart. More than quadrupled

01:12:54.779 --> 01:12:57.560
as the altitude climbed from ground level to

01:12:57.560 --> 01:13:00.579
nearly 30 ,000 feet or so, Spiegel said. The

01:13:00.579 --> 01:13:03.939
experience is just mildly uncomfortable, but

01:13:03.939 --> 01:13:06.359
for others it can be downright painful or even

01:13:06.359 --> 01:13:11.960
trigger a flare -up of colitis, a type of colon

01:13:11.960 --> 01:13:15.460
inflammation in people with conditions like Crohn's

01:13:15.460 --> 01:13:20.020
disease. Jet belly is a reminder that while our

01:13:20.020 --> 01:13:23.439
bodies evolved to resist gravity's pull, They're

01:13:23.439 --> 01:13:27.119
also turned to atmospheric squeeze gravity creates.

01:13:27.380 --> 01:13:31.140
He said when that squeeze loosens at altitude,

01:13:31.460 --> 01:13:35.060
the gut often feels it first. Can you deflate

01:13:35.060 --> 01:13:38.119
jet belly from your seat? Simple in -seat movements

01:13:38.119 --> 01:13:41.239
can make a big difference, Spiegel said. So here

01:13:41.239 --> 01:13:44.180
you go. We're coming up with solutions for you,

01:13:44.199 --> 01:13:47.840
right, Rob? That's what we do here. Yeah, we

01:13:47.840 --> 01:13:50.810
don't just spark out problems. We dig deep and

01:13:50.810 --> 01:13:53.850
we find the answers for you. So this is no different.

01:13:54.350 --> 01:13:58.970
So... Stay close to the bathroom. One of... Yes.

01:13:59.949 --> 01:14:03.130
One of Spiegel's... Stay close to the bathroom.

01:14:03.310 --> 01:14:08.170
That's how we do this. And if you could give

01:14:08.170 --> 01:14:11.470
an upper decker in a plane, it would be fantastic,

01:14:11.529 --> 01:14:14.770
but you can't because they don't have a... They

01:14:14.770 --> 01:14:18.789
don't have a tank with water in it, so you can't

01:14:18.789 --> 01:14:22.689
take a dump in there. Okay, well, hey, worst

01:14:22.689 --> 01:14:27.930
case scenario, they have bars bags. True. Yeah,

01:14:28.050 --> 01:14:31.970
there you go. Okay, so to do this jet belly release,

01:14:32.170 --> 01:14:35.029
to do it, place your hand about two or three

01:14:35.029 --> 01:14:37.310
inches below your belly button and press gently

01:14:37.310 --> 01:14:40.310
but firmly. Then start massaging towards your

01:14:40.310 --> 01:14:42.689
right side in the direction of your right hip

01:14:42.689 --> 01:14:45.420
bone. Wouldn't you get arrested for doing this

01:14:45.420 --> 01:14:49.460
on a plane nowadays? That's what I was thinking.

01:14:51.699 --> 01:14:54.960
So, you start massaging forward right beside

01:14:54.960 --> 01:14:59.220
your direction. I'm just visualizing it. I'm

01:14:59.220 --> 01:15:01.720
just visualizing it. Yeah, you wouldn't go to

01:15:01.720 --> 01:15:04.119
jail. Guys, I'm not making this up. This is on

01:15:04.119 --> 01:15:10.619
the New York Post. For real. So, if you keep

01:15:10.619 --> 01:15:12.640
going towards the direction of your right hip

01:15:12.640 --> 01:15:15.819
bone, You keep doing this to help milk gas your

01:15:15.819 --> 01:15:20.260
valve, your leucidical valve. The little gateway

01:15:20.260 --> 01:15:22.619
between the small intestines and the clones,

01:15:22.819 --> 01:15:25.920
Spiegel said. Once air moves into the colon,

01:15:26.100 --> 01:15:28.680
which has much more capacity, it can be released

01:15:28.680 --> 01:15:32.039
more easily. And yes, that could mean a discreet

01:15:32.039 --> 01:15:40.100
mid -flight toot, he said. You got the story

01:15:40.100 --> 01:15:46.029
tonight, brother. And also, there have been other

01:15:46.029 --> 01:15:49.430
doctors that suggest these foods before you go

01:15:49.430 --> 01:15:52.710
on a plane to reduce bloating. And they go as,

01:15:52.949 --> 01:15:56.810
his name is Joseph Shulb. He recommends blueberries,

01:15:57.270 --> 01:16:01.970
dates, dragon fruit, kiwi fruit, guava, papaya,

01:16:01.989 --> 01:16:05.270
and pineapple to ease stomach bloating. He's

01:16:05.270 --> 01:16:08.750
a stomach doctor. I get that. He said that these

01:16:08.750 --> 01:16:11.899
seven foods in particular. before you get on

01:16:11.899 --> 01:16:17.060
a plane, will help your gut not expand. So, there's

01:16:17.060 --> 01:16:19.739
more to this, but I think everyone got the idea

01:16:19.739 --> 01:16:22.020
of everything I was saying there. What do you

01:16:22.020 --> 01:16:25.840
think, Rob? You think they got the idea? I think

01:16:25.840 --> 01:16:28.260
you went all over the fucking map on that one.

01:16:28.359 --> 01:16:30.220
I think I did too, so I think it's your turn.

01:16:30.279 --> 01:16:38.359
Yeah. Yep. Okay. This is one you're going to

01:16:38.359 --> 01:17:45.890
get into. Okay. Okay. I was alerted via my iPhone

01:17:45.890 --> 01:17:49.449
that my camera had taken a picture because motion

01:17:49.449 --> 01:17:52.810
was detected. As soon as I pulled up the image

01:17:52.810 --> 01:17:55.970
to see what had triggered it, I was immediately

01:17:55.970 --> 01:18:00.350
curious because I could see something huge standing

01:18:00.350 --> 01:18:06.590
in the middle of the creek. Okay. And you can

01:18:06.590 --> 01:19:02.989
go to YouTube to see this. I think I will. of

01:19:02.989 --> 01:19:07.109
a possible Bigfoot, Missouri, incredible capture

01:19:07.109 --> 01:19:18.149
by a trail camera. Nice. Okay, okay. This was

01:19:18.149 --> 01:19:39.850
from Doc Holliday out of Sedalia. Okay. Finding

01:19:39.850 --> 01:19:44.750
Bigfoot. Yep. Thank you. Actually, I ran into

01:19:44.750 --> 01:19:47.989
another article, which I should have pulled that

01:19:47.989 --> 01:19:53.649
one up. It was written by Matt Moneymaker. Oh,

01:19:53.649 --> 01:19:59.710
wow. The BFRO. Okay. About this. So, yeah, and

01:19:59.710 --> 01:20:02.289
you can find it on YouTube. I'm not sure. Just

01:20:02.289 --> 01:20:06.970
look up Bigfoot, Missouri. I don't know. Okay.

01:20:06.970 --> 01:20:11.479
All right. Thank you. I've got another story

01:20:11.479 --> 01:20:13.699
here I'm pretty proud of, like the last one about

01:20:13.699 --> 01:20:19.159
the gas. Yeah. You want to hear it? Why not?

01:20:19.399 --> 01:20:23.079
All right. Fox Business reported on August 21st

01:20:23.079 --> 01:20:25.779
that a U .K. snack company launched corn chips

01:20:25.779 --> 01:20:29.640
this summer that taste like licking a 9 -volt

01:20:29.640 --> 01:20:35.479
battery. Cool. Yeah. Apparently this was a fad

01:20:35.479 --> 01:20:38.619
in the 90s. It was a fad in the 80s. Remember

01:20:38.619 --> 01:20:40.420
when we were little students? That takes me back

01:20:40.420 --> 01:20:42.640
to being a kid. Yeah, when I was a little bitty

01:20:42.640 --> 01:20:44.439
turntot, I used to do that. I'd be like, wow,

01:20:44.539 --> 01:20:47.039
man, boy, that shocked a little bit. I better

01:20:47.039 --> 01:20:52.500
not do that. Yeah, well, you know, yeah. So apparently...

01:20:52.500 --> 01:20:54.600
All of our friends did it, but yeah, we can still

01:20:54.600 --> 01:20:57.439
shock our men to doing it. All the time. All

01:20:57.439 --> 01:20:59.880
the time. Yeah. It's just like pissing on an

01:20:59.880 --> 01:21:02.060
electric fence. You could always find some asshole

01:21:02.060 --> 01:21:04.020
that knew better, but did it just because you

01:21:04.020 --> 01:21:10.529
kept talking to him. Okay. Yeah, yeah. So, yeah,

01:21:10.569 --> 01:21:12.550
you can always find someone to get really good

01:21:12.550 --> 01:21:22.130
on those. So, anyhow, a spokesperson for, oh,

01:21:22.149 --> 01:21:26.149
wait a minute, hang on. Rewind now offers a stackable

01:21:26.149 --> 01:21:29.270
way to revisit one of the 90s weirdest shared

01:21:29.270 --> 01:21:32.689
experiences, or 80s too. No batteries required.

01:21:33.239 --> 01:21:35.560
the company said. A spokesperson said the chips

01:21:35.560 --> 01:21:38.579
deliver a very hard -hitting acidic zing to the

01:21:38.579 --> 01:21:41.800
tongue, followed up by some salty metallic notes.

01:21:42.279 --> 01:21:45.159
Oh, by the way, we do not recommend or condone

01:21:45.159 --> 01:21:47.579
licking, biting, or otherwise ingesting real

01:21:47.579 --> 01:21:50.359
batteries, the company clarified. For now, the

01:21:50.359 --> 01:21:52.899
chips are the only available in Dutch retail

01:21:52.899 --> 01:21:56.380
outlets, but they hope to get them outside of

01:21:56.380 --> 01:22:01.199
their country soon. So there you go. You can't

01:22:01.199 --> 01:22:03.079
have them right now, but maybe in the future

01:22:03.079 --> 01:22:06.819
you might be able to eat some chips, some corn

01:22:06.819 --> 01:22:10.079
chips. And it'll just taste like those delightful

01:22:10.079 --> 01:22:15.260
9 -volt batteries we used to lick. Dude, I want

01:22:15.260 --> 01:22:18.520
some. Me too. So how about that? I followed up

01:22:18.520 --> 01:22:22.779
the farting on a plane with that. Fucking brought

01:22:22.779 --> 01:22:25.380
the hammer, didn't I? Brought the hammer. Yeah,

01:22:25.380 --> 01:22:27.659
you did. I brought the fucking hammer. You were

01:22:27.659 --> 01:22:31.079
prepared tonight. I had a busy week. Well, I

01:22:31.079 --> 01:22:34.500
had the sledgehammer and I was waiting in the

01:22:34.500 --> 01:22:38.300
dark. That's all. It's done now. Rob, we turn

01:22:38.300 --> 01:22:44.239
it to you. Okay. The Seattle Seahawks are taking

01:22:44.239 --> 01:22:47.560
drastic action to crack down on bad behavior

01:22:47.560 --> 01:22:53.140
from fans this season. Okay. Some games at Lumen

01:22:53.140 --> 01:23:06.909
Field last season were sadly attended by... causing

01:23:06.909 --> 01:23:10.390
trouble and running games for decent -mannered

01:23:10.390 --> 01:23:14.630
supporters. I get this. I get this whole story.

01:23:15.310 --> 01:23:19.710
The franchise will deploy undercover police officers.

01:24:13.350 --> 01:24:18.229
anonymous report any inappropriate activity that

01:24:18.229 --> 01:24:21.090
is disrupting their enjoyment during the game

01:24:21.090 --> 01:25:15.119
by texting and messaging. I agree. And weed some

01:25:15.119 --> 01:25:18.420
of the bad apples out. Yeah. You know what I

01:25:18.420 --> 01:25:21.539
mean? People go there to have fun. Yeah. And

01:25:21.539 --> 01:25:25.840
what do we hear about? Fights, whatever, you

01:25:25.840 --> 01:25:31.100
know. I think that's a great idea. Cool. I do,

01:25:31.140 --> 01:25:35.560
too. All right. Rob, it's 9 .15. Do you want

01:25:35.560 --> 01:25:37.279
to keep going or do you want to go ahead and

01:25:37.279 --> 01:25:38.960
end this? You're the one that's got to get up

01:25:38.960 --> 01:25:47.680
early. Well. Okay, let me find something here.

01:25:47.680 --> 01:25:49.960
Have you got something else? Yeah, I'll find

01:25:49.960 --> 01:25:59.899
something here. Let's see. Okay. Ralphie the

01:25:59.899 --> 01:26:03.279
Four, a .k .a. Ember, is the mascot of the University

01:26:03.279 --> 01:26:06.979
of Colorado Buffaloes, or was, until she became

01:26:06.979 --> 01:26:09.880
indifferent to running. The Athletic reported

01:26:09.880 --> 01:26:13.539
on August 26. The tradition of the bison charging

01:26:13.539 --> 01:26:15.859
ahead of the CU football team at the beginning

01:26:15.859 --> 01:26:20.539
of the game started in 1967. They typically also

01:26:20.539 --> 01:26:24.159
run at the start of the second half. The animals

01:26:24.159 --> 01:26:26.479
and their handlers can reach speeds of up to

01:26:26.479 --> 01:26:31.000
25 miles per hour. And Ralphie Five, once got

01:26:31.000 --> 01:26:36.800
so excited, she pulled loose from the guide ropes

01:26:36.800 --> 01:26:40.100
at the start of the game. But Ember is just not

01:26:40.100 --> 01:26:44.279
into that at all, the school said. It was determined

01:26:44.279 --> 01:26:47.319
that it was in Ember's best interest to focus

01:26:47.319 --> 01:26:50.880
on relaxing strolls in the pasture, which is

01:26:50.880 --> 01:26:54.159
her favorite hobby, a statement read. A succession

01:26:54.159 --> 01:26:59.880
plan to Ralphie the Five has been in place for

01:26:59.880 --> 01:27:03.180
months, but it's not known when Ralphie the Six

01:27:03.180 --> 01:27:07.369
will take the field. So there you go. If you

01:27:07.369 --> 01:27:13.390
didn't know that Colorado Buffalo's Buffalo is

01:27:13.390 --> 01:27:19.010
Ralphie 5, now you do know. And if you're wondering

01:27:19.010 --> 01:27:22.630
if she likes to do the running like all the other

01:27:22.630 --> 01:27:25.890
ones, other Ralphies, no, she does not. And just

01:27:25.890 --> 01:27:28.789
so you know, they're looking for Ralphie 6 right

01:27:28.789 --> 01:27:33.380
now. All right, Rob, that's all I got. Because

01:27:33.380 --> 01:27:35.380
with the name Ralphie, they wanted another male.

01:27:36.260 --> 01:27:41.439
Yes. Unlike her. Anyway. There you go. That's

01:27:41.439 --> 01:27:43.340
why she didn't run. She didn't like him calling

01:27:43.340 --> 01:27:46.659
her Ralphie. Exactly. She's like, who the fuck

01:27:46.659 --> 01:27:48.840
are you talking to? Yeah, she's like, fuck you

01:27:48.840 --> 01:27:51.939
guys. I ain't doing it. Uh -uh. What's up? All

01:27:51.939 --> 01:27:54.779
right. Anyhow, thank you, everybody, for listening.

01:27:54.960 --> 01:27:57.579
Hi, Albuquerque. Hi, Grandma Opal. Hi, Jimmy.

01:27:57.680 --> 01:28:00.000
We love you guys. Have a good night, assholes.

01:28:00.180 --> 01:28:04.000
Hi. Hi, Grandma Opal. Hi, Jimmy. Hi, Albuquerque.

01:28:04.239 --> 01:28:07.939
Hi, was it Hicksville? Oh, Hicksville. Yeah,

01:28:08.279 --> 01:28:10.039
I keep forgetting about Hicksville. I'm sorry,

01:28:10.159 --> 01:28:12.439
Hicksville. Yes, yes. Hi, Hicksville. Yes. All

01:28:12.439 --> 01:28:15.420
right. Anyhow, everyone. I was the one with the

01:28:15.420 --> 01:28:18.720
long weekend. Yep, that's true. Everyone, thank

01:28:18.720 --> 01:28:22.539
you for listening. Go fuck yourself. Good night,

01:28:22.619 --> 01:28:25.279
assholes. I'm just joking. Good night, assholes.

01:28:26.119 --> 01:28:29.640
Oh, no. Looks like the show's over, kids. Mark

01:28:29.640 --> 01:28:32.699
has explosive diarrhea and can't afford a wireless

01:28:32.699 --> 01:28:36.340
mic. Fear not, assholes. They'll be back invading

01:28:36.340 --> 01:28:37.279
your ear holes soon.