WEBVTT

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Hey, you fucking derelicts, it's time for the

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Daily Douchebag Pledge. I, Joe or Jane Listener,

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hereby promise to download the show. I, Joe or

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Jane Listener, Hereby promise to grab other people's

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phones, unattended computers, public computers,

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and all of my work computers as well, and download

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the show from there. I, Joe or Jane listener,

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hereby promise to make other people listen. I,

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Joe or Jane listener. We'll hereby lie to everyone

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about how quality the show is. I, Joe or Jane

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Listener, promise to make all my family members

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listen and recite the Daily Douchebag Pledge.

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And finally, I, Joe or Jane Listener, hereby

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promise to make the trek to Knoblick, Missouri,

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just to have a selfie with the Knoblick sign.

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Here at Two Douchebags and a Microphone, we don't

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stand behind our journalistic integrity. Go ahead

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and assume we got the story wrong. At least we

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admit it. Not like all those other guys. We can

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and will lie if it makes the story better. Two

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douchebags and a microphone. We are Jesus. Miss

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Gulkenstein was tired of Markin' Toe for making

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sport of her. Little did the douchebags know

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Miss Gulkenstein was a voodoo high priestess

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when she was younger. She grew angry. and cast

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a spell on rob changing rob into a capuchin monkey

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mark took rob to a local zoo so we could be with

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the other monkeys here are the adventures of

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rob the capuchin monkey be very quiet we're gonna

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listen in as rob the capuchin monkey tries to

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sell the rest of the capuchin monkeys amway rob

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has always dreamed of becoming a diamond status

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amway as a capuchin monkey Little did our hero

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Rob know. All the great apes owned stock in Sam's

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club and became violently pissed off when he

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tried to infringe on their territory. They promptly

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grabbed switches and beat his ass for three days

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straight. Rob could not sit down. Please remember

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to go to Cole's dressing room, wait five minutes,

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and scream, Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!

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Deep thoughts with Mark. Let's see. If a worm

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could talk, would it be argumentive? I may never

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know. And now we look in on the adventures of

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the technical explanation guy. Excuse me, my

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dear sir. Could you please put my plain bread

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in a small countertop appliance with heating

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elements that would spring -load it and would

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brown my bread adequately? Well, first off, I'm

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not a waiter. I'm just a guy over there sitting

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at the table having a drink. Second off, are

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you talking about someone toasting your bread?

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Why, yes. Yes, I am. I'm talking about my bread

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being toasted. Then why don't you just ask for

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your bread to be toasted, you dumb bastard? What

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the hell's wrong with you? So you want proof

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that we love you here at QD Spades and Microphone

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Central? Here's a proof right here. How about

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the drink of the week? Hey there, you little

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snack cakes. This is Norwegian's best drinks.

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Norwegian Cruise Lime has long been known as

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one of the best drink bikers on the high seas

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of not the best. In this drink, it's no different.

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It's one of the most popular and it's really

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good. A smoked peach margarita. It involves one

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ounce... of 1800 sober tequila one half ounce

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in this cow a quarter ounce of triple sec half

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ounce of organic guavae half ounce of peach puree

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one half ounces of fresh wine juice garnish with

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hibiscus salt on the rim and dried blood orange

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slices on the rim add all ingredients and shake

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and don't be bashful shake like nuts and then

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print in a glass with crushed ice and enjoy Two

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douchebags and a microphone. I'm Mark here in

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the Kansas City vicinity at the Talk is Cheap

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Studio. And I am Rob at the beautiful Magwan,

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the Lake of the Ozarks, and the Dupline Studio.

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All right, Rob, how was your Labor Day weekend?

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Oh, my weekend was great. A little bit of road

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time, but it was great. That's good. It was worth

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it. Good. Excellent. Yeah, mine was good, too.

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We had a little mini getaway last night, I'll

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get into that here in a minute, but we went ahead

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and we booked, you know where I recorded from

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in Eureka Springs a couple weeks ago? Yeah. We

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went ahead and booked the Flat Iron Flat suites

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again near my birthday, the 21st through the

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24th, then we'll be back for my birthday, the

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25th of October, and I'll go get my free dinner

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at Garozo's. that night. See, I forget that.

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Yeah, yeah, yeah, I will go do that. No, no,

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no. You and my cousin, Tony, in Albuquerque,

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you have the same birthday. Oh, we do? Oh, okay.

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Yeah, yeah. Okay. He's my closest of age cousin.

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Okay, cool. I remember you tell me about it.

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Did you live with him for a while or you were

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in Albuquerque with him? No, no, no, no, no,

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no. Oh, okay, okay. No, he now lives down there,

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so... Oh, okay. I misunderstood it just a little

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bit, but okay, yeah. I love Albuquerque. I thought

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it was... I love it, too. Yeah, it was nice.

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So, alright, so last night was a little date

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night, like I said. We stayed at the Crowne Plaza

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downtown. I had some IHG points, which is Independent

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Hotel Group. I had some of those points and I

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had to use a use up those with that otherwise

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They're gonna go bad first of next month. I wouldn't

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be able to use them They'd be expired that combined

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with a couple extra dollars gave us a perfect

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little getaway So we start out the blue line

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hockey bar at the city market that place has

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the most solid food Lettie's kitchen there is

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amazing anyone that lives around here. If you've

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not been there go there Letty is is one of the

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owners her and her husband own the the the blue

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line hockey bar And I'm telling you the jalapeno

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poppers with the raspberry Thai sauce is amazing.

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Oh my gosh You like jalapeno poppers? These are

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homemade and the raspberry Thai sauce is homemade

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too. Oh my god They're so good. But then just

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when I thought it couldn't get any better. They

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came out with it with the onion rings The onion

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rings are fucking insanely good, too So when

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the burrito plate came back that came to us mine

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my burrito plate that I ordered It went back

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to the hotel with us So we loaded up on everything

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else and that was pretty much it. They had a

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couple of pops and is like, okay Well hit the

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brakes gonna go back with us. So right next door

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the hotel There's construction going on Barty

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Alice Plaza Concourse was destroyed in favor

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of a new building come up I think it's gonna

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be a parking garage I thought but I'm not for

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sure So they did us a huge favor and they put

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us up at the 24th floor We asked to be way up

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there and there's 28 floors all together You

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know and I looked down I feel for the poor guys

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working on that site because I've been there

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before You know just getting in at 8 in the morning

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And you're all glum. Oh fuck. I got 10 hours

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of this bullshit all this noise all these people

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running around and shit so i decided you know

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the only thing i could do is just like pester

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the workers on the site right if they could see

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me so i see a guy with those uh pink yeah i i

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mean look on board and i'm sure that they're

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like they need a little lightning up like me

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and topher were like just we were pestering the

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shit out of this construction crew when uh when

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they didn't start um They have this blocker in

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front of buildings now, but him and I used to

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rent those little scooters, right? And we'd fly

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in front of these buildings and stuff and piss

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people off and everything and it'd just be general

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nuisances. So there's one construction site down

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there near the Lowe's Hotel now that we used

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to go by all the time. And we would go by there

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and ring our bell. And there's a couple of guys

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there that would just die laughing. We'd go by

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and go, ding ding ding, ding ding ding, and they

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would just be up there laughing their ass off

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a point going, look at these two guys. And so,

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you know, we used to pester people like that,

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but then all the businesses started putting blocks

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on the front of their buildings. And what a block

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does is it blocks your radio signals so your

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scooter dies. It won't let you in front of it.

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It will die. Oh, really? Yeah. Yeah. So we finally

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had to give that up, but it was fun while we

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could pester people. So, yeah, I decided to pester

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the workers on the side. I see a guy there in

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one of those pink high -visibility vests. You

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know, they wear them to support breast cancer.

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Have you seen them? Yeah, I have. Yeah, yeah.

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They make a few of them, and it's a good idea.

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You know, it's cool. And it's actually, you could

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probably see that pink high -visibility vest

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better than an orange or a green one, right?

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Yeah, you can. Yeah, it is really, really bright.

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So, um, so, you know, um, I'm sitting there,

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he appears to be looking up at our window because

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I'm just standing there watching working, but

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there's hundreds of windows, so I didn't know

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for sure. So I start jumping up and down quietly

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to, you know, to not wake up Val. I'd be really

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quiet about this because she's in bed sleeping

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and I'm over in front of the, in front of the

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window jumping up and down like a fool. So I

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start dancing around and looking all crazy trying

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to freak him out. He's looking up somewhere.

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I assumed it was me So he walks back to the construction

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zone and I'm like, okay. Well, I guess that's

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it party's over He's done. I'm done. So I went

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I sat down so 20 minutes later around 9 a .m.

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Val wakes me up and No, not Val done wake me

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up Val Val wakes up I'm already awake and I'm

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wanting to go to pre easy coffee house Which

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is located in the lobby of the hotel and she

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wants coffee as well so I'm in the coffee house

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waiting for my order of coffee and guess who

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walks in the front door to get a drink? Who?

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The guy in the red in the pink safety vest. Why

00:11:51.159 --> 00:11:53.860
not? Yeah, Mr. fluorescent pink safety vest.

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Why not? Carmen sometimes is instant with me.

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He looks at me and quickly looks away and all

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of a sudden my mind flashes back to Eureka Springs

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two weeks ago when the ghost tour guy that I...

00:12:07.559 --> 00:12:11.000
that I pester relentlessly, walked in and looked

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me right in the eyes. I was sitting on the couch

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and he just glares at me. I'm pretty sure he,

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I don't know if he thought he knew me or if he

00:12:20.179 --> 00:12:22.100
was like, that's that motherfucker that's always

00:12:22.100 --> 00:12:25.039
yelling boo. I don't know. But this was the same

00:12:25.039 --> 00:12:27.600
thing. I go downstairs, get the coffee and then

00:12:27.600 --> 00:12:29.759
bam, this guy I was messing with is just standing

00:12:29.759 --> 00:12:32.120
right, you know, he comes walking in and like,

00:12:32.159 --> 00:12:34.620
oh my gosh, this is instant karma. I need to

00:12:34.620 --> 00:12:38.850
quit this shit, right? Because I mean it's like

00:12:38.850 --> 00:12:42.929
yeah Yeah, I mean I wanted to do a pressed ham,

00:12:43.470 --> 00:12:46.090
but I don't know what the laws are You know that

00:12:46.090 --> 00:12:48.789
could be like indecent, but I really want to

00:12:48.789 --> 00:12:53.070
do a pressed ham on the window Come on everybody

00:12:53.070 --> 00:13:11.940
loves a pressed ham don't they? Yeah, so I'm

00:13:11.940 --> 00:13:13.960
glad I didn't do a pressed hand, you know, he

00:13:13.960 --> 00:13:19.110
might have punched me. So, uh, anyhow, I looked

00:13:19.110 --> 00:13:20.809
back for him later when I got back up to the

00:13:20.809 --> 00:13:22.149
room, but I didn't see him. He probably just

00:13:22.149 --> 00:13:24.830
went back and was like, fuck that. I don't know

00:13:24.830 --> 00:13:27.549
if, if he was even looking at the room, I don't

00:13:27.549 --> 00:13:29.610
know. Like I said, there's hundreds of windows,

00:13:29.669 --> 00:13:32.409
but there's probably only one guy jumping up

00:13:32.409 --> 00:13:37.269
and down, acting like a fool. So, uh, so, um,

00:13:37.269 --> 00:13:39.690
anyhow, so after I sent a picture of the job

00:13:39.690 --> 00:13:42.009
site to my buddy Sandor, I used to go out of

00:13:42.009 --> 00:13:44.149
town with a lot, you know, work these construction

00:13:44.149 --> 00:13:48.029
sites and I formed it. Yeah, he's a cool guy.

00:13:48.450 --> 00:13:50.669
I informed him he needed to do a field check

00:13:50.669 --> 00:13:55.090
pronto. He seemed to be mildly amused. You know,

00:13:55.230 --> 00:13:57.370
field checks are a pain in the ass, right? You

00:13:57.370 --> 00:13:59.149
have to go in there and check all the measurements

00:13:59.149 --> 00:14:04.370
two or three or four times. Yeah. Yeah. So, um,

00:14:04.629 --> 00:14:07.009
anyhow, I mean, you know, he is kind of like,

00:14:07.129 --> 00:14:09.090
haha, okay, all that stuff. And I gave him a

00:14:09.090 --> 00:14:10.570
little shit going, yeah, they want a hundred

00:14:10.570 --> 00:14:13.450
arc posts, which are extremely heavy. No, a thousand

00:14:13.450 --> 00:14:15.990
arc posts around the perimeter. you need to come

00:14:15.990 --> 00:14:17.929
out here and measure this today and just screw

00:14:17.929 --> 00:14:21.269
them with them and stuff like that right so anyhow

00:14:21.269 --> 00:14:26.809
it did it kind of like brought me back some uh

00:14:26.809 --> 00:14:30.629
ptsd i remember those days of waking up and looking

00:14:30.629 --> 00:14:33.309
at those sites and going what the fuck am i doing

00:14:33.309 --> 00:14:37.669
here you know what i mean sitting there going

00:14:37.669 --> 00:14:42.200
what wrong turn did i make to end up here so

00:14:42.200 --> 00:14:44.580
anyhow it was cool being on the other side of

00:14:44.580 --> 00:14:46.500
it watching the people you know working away

00:14:46.500 --> 00:14:49.419
while I'm up there I don't know scratching my

00:14:49.419 --> 00:14:52.700
ass and looking out the window so it's 24 floors

00:14:52.700 --> 00:14:55.019
up so we missed the sunset last night though

00:14:55.019 --> 00:14:58.000
we were down at the blue line and I want to get

00:14:58.000 --> 00:15:00.159
back for the sunset because the sunset was really

00:15:00.159 --> 00:15:03.940
nice and we were finally on the on the west side

00:15:03.940 --> 00:15:05.620
of the building we usually get the east side

00:15:05.620 --> 00:15:07.679
of the building we're on the west side so we

00:15:07.679 --> 00:15:10.940
could have got a sunset picture but oh well so

00:15:11.519 --> 00:15:15.620
Yeah, we get back we get back about noon 12 30

00:15:15.620 --> 00:15:17.899
something like that So I went to Walmart today

00:15:17.899 --> 00:15:20.440
after we got back from our little downtown getaway,

00:15:20.460 --> 00:15:24.539
right? And I get the usual stuff It pisses me

00:15:24.539 --> 00:15:26.559
off that I have to deal Walmart, but there's

00:15:26.559 --> 00:15:28.759
certain things I have to go to that store for

00:15:28.759 --> 00:15:32.139
right? You're the same way, right? There are

00:15:32.139 --> 00:15:34.440
certain things that Walmart has that other places

00:15:34.440 --> 00:15:36.740
don't have that you have to deal with them and

00:15:36.740 --> 00:15:38.659
it pisses me off because I hate dealing with

00:15:38.659 --> 00:15:41.720
them so I go through self -checkout because I

00:15:41.720 --> 00:15:43.820
have a small amount of items again and I'm tooling

00:15:43.820 --> 00:15:46.779
through the exit hallway when the old man that

00:15:46.779 --> 00:15:49.279
uh he always tries to check my receipt it's kind

00:15:49.279 --> 00:15:51.659
of like his vendetta against me because I'm so

00:15:51.659 --> 00:15:54.899
defiant right so see we don't have them down

00:15:54.899 --> 00:15:57.480
here we don't have nobody at the doors of Walmart

00:15:57.480 --> 00:16:00.860
they they have them at pretty much all the Walmarts

00:16:00.860 --> 00:16:03.980
around Kansas City now since they don't down

00:16:03.980 --> 00:16:07.659
here or let me put it like this they attempt

00:16:07.659 --> 00:16:12.039
to They attempt to. If you can make it past self

00:16:12.039 --> 00:16:17.059
-checkout, you got it made. Okay. Yeah, there's

00:16:17.059 --> 00:16:20.940
nobody at the doors out here. They probably don't

00:16:20.940 --> 00:16:23.519
have as bad of a crime down there as they do

00:16:23.519 --> 00:16:25.659
up here. You know, there's probably not really

00:16:25.659 --> 00:16:28.620
so much a necessity there where it is up here,

00:16:28.639 --> 00:16:34.179
I guess, but still. Yeah, but still I didn't

00:16:34.179 --> 00:16:36.500
consent to this. I don't pay a membership there

00:16:36.500 --> 00:16:39.220
and I contend I don't have to put up with it.

00:16:39.440 --> 00:16:43.799
So I'm an easy target and it pisses me off So

00:16:43.799 --> 00:16:45.919
I go through self -checkout because I have a

00:16:45.919 --> 00:16:47.720
small amount of items and I'm tooling through

00:16:47.720 --> 00:16:50.759
the exit hallway when that old man He comes flying

00:16:50.759 --> 00:16:53.360
in there from outside He zoomed indoors just

00:16:53.360 --> 00:16:55.360
to try to hold me up to check my cart, right?

00:16:55.519 --> 00:16:57.759
So I'm like, all right bastard. So once again,

00:16:57.759 --> 00:17:01.269
I told him I had the receipt emailed to me Is

00:17:01.269 --> 00:17:04.289
in my hand like always and he comes out back

00:17:04.289 --> 00:17:06.309
with a smart -ass answer. He goes you get your

00:17:06.309 --> 00:17:09.150
phone. You can get it out of your phone now So

00:17:09.150 --> 00:17:11.049
I'm like, okay asshole. I'm not I didn't say

00:17:11.049 --> 00:17:13.950
this but thinking alright asshole So I walked

00:17:13.950 --> 00:17:18.269
right up next to him. I go I could I Could get

00:17:18.269 --> 00:17:21.730
out my phone. Yeah So then I'm standing there

00:17:21.730 --> 00:17:24.470
looking at him and he's waiting for me to produce

00:17:24.470 --> 00:17:27.710
a receipt or a phone so I reach my pocket and

00:17:27.710 --> 00:17:32.470
I get a quarter out I flip it and I take it and

00:17:32.470 --> 00:17:34.670
I turn it over on my hand I look him in the face

00:17:34.670 --> 00:17:40.309
and I say up tails not today and I walked off

00:17:40.309 --> 00:17:46.029
oh he was mad he was mad because I wasted his

00:17:46.029 --> 00:17:48.230
time there because he thought he got me like

00:17:48.230 --> 00:17:51.430
oh well you could always go go you know you get

00:17:51.430 --> 00:17:54.750
your phone and get it off of there no I'm not

00:17:54.750 --> 00:17:58.130
wasting time going through it on my phone No,

00:17:58.150 --> 00:18:00.349
I don't have to and I'm not going to, but I didn't

00:18:00.349 --> 00:18:02.390
tell him that. It pissed me off because he's

00:18:02.390 --> 00:18:04.170
being a smartass about it. I'm like, alright,

00:18:04.309 --> 00:18:08.930
bitch. So I was just like, yeah, I could. I could

00:18:08.930 --> 00:18:11.230
go through my phone, but I didn't say I was gonna.

00:18:11.970 --> 00:18:13.569
So I just stood there right next to him for a

00:18:13.569 --> 00:18:15.490
minute looking at him and then I pulled out that

00:18:15.490 --> 00:18:18.170
coin and he's sitting there like really puzzled,

00:18:18.269 --> 00:18:20.250
like what the fuck is he doing? So I flipped

00:18:20.250 --> 00:18:22.589
the coin and when I flipped it over I go, no,

00:18:22.869 --> 00:18:27.750
tails, not today. He was mad But nothing he can

00:18:27.750 --> 00:18:30.910
do about it because it is not legally required

00:18:30.910 --> 00:18:34.309
for me to have him check my receipt or my basket

00:18:34.309 --> 00:18:37.089
And I know this and he knows I know this and

00:18:37.089 --> 00:18:42.910
it pisses a mile. So anyhow so Anyhow, I I mean,

00:18:43.009 --> 00:18:44.950
yeah, I've been in Kansas C quite bad here lately

00:18:44.950 --> 00:18:46.970
since we got back from Eureka Springs I can't

00:18:46.970 --> 00:18:53.880
help it. I live here, but you know, I see One

00:18:53.880 --> 00:18:57.799
of these days I'm moving out and I mean not just

00:18:57.799 --> 00:19:01.240
me but me and Val and and that's when I'm gonna

00:19:01.240 --> 00:19:04.140
be either working part -time or not at all I'm

00:19:04.140 --> 00:19:06.339
gonna be retired and we're not gonna be anywhere

00:19:06.339 --> 00:19:08.420
near this city I can guarantee you that right

00:19:08.420 --> 00:19:11.980
now so I see where the homeless love to carry

00:19:11.980 --> 00:19:15.900
around blankets old blouses and socks and such

00:19:15.900 --> 00:19:23.720
like that right well do what? Okay, they're welcome

00:19:23.720 --> 00:19:26.319
to carry them around as much as their delightful

00:19:26.319 --> 00:19:29.720
little hearts want to, right? I'm just sick of

00:19:29.720 --> 00:19:32.000
them being left all over the parks and curbside,

00:19:32.000 --> 00:19:37.779
right? So never fear, Rob. I have a solution.

00:19:40.259 --> 00:19:44.019
That's here. You ever see those wood boxes you

00:19:44.019 --> 00:19:46.180
see through? with the see -through mesh. People

00:19:46.180 --> 00:19:48.099
fill them full of food in the city for anyone

00:19:48.099 --> 00:19:50.599
in need. They're called like little food mini

00:19:50.599 --> 00:19:56.819
emergency food pantries, right? Okay. So for

00:19:56.819 --> 00:19:59.140
reference, a homeless guy walks up, he opens

00:19:59.140 --> 00:20:01.160
a box and he grabs some ramen noodles and then

00:20:01.160 --> 00:20:03.319
he's on his way, right? So he's happy. He's like,

00:20:03.319 --> 00:20:06.140
I got some food and you know, people go back

00:20:06.140 --> 00:20:08.599
there and fill it up a little bit later. So this

00:20:08.599 --> 00:20:11.579
is where my idea comes in. How about large wooden

00:20:11.579 --> 00:20:15.339
cedar chests placed in parks? creeks and trailside

00:20:15.339 --> 00:20:26.880
paths and curbs. And they can be used as a bench

00:20:26.880 --> 00:20:30.140
as well. So yeah, let's say you're putting on

00:20:30.140 --> 00:20:31.779
your jogging sneakers, right? And it's like,

00:20:31.779 --> 00:20:33.960
well, I'll just go over to the cedar chest here,

00:20:34.359 --> 00:20:37.900
full of home random homeless items, put my sneakers

00:20:37.900 --> 00:20:40.059
on and go jogging. Then when I come back, I'll

00:20:40.059 --> 00:20:42.000
take them off and put on my shoes for the car,

00:20:42.000 --> 00:21:07.049
you know, for home or whatever. I didn't go back

00:21:07.049 --> 00:21:09.049
and take a step back. It's like a storage locker.

00:21:13.309 --> 00:21:17.029
Plus no material strength. Yeah, no material

00:21:17.029 --> 00:21:23.029
strong all over the park and roadways I did I

00:21:23.029 --> 00:21:27.650
did because I'm sick of seeing Everywhere I go

00:21:27.650 --> 00:21:32.109
in this fucking city. There's blankets and blouses

00:21:32.109 --> 00:21:37.450
and socks and hats everywhere Because somewhere

00:21:37.450 --> 00:21:39.970
there's been a homeless person sitting there

00:21:39.970 --> 00:21:42.069
and decided they were just going to leave them

00:21:42.069 --> 00:21:46.279
there And it is what I was thinking is start

00:21:46.279 --> 00:21:48.440
up. You know you were talking about that I was

00:21:48.440 --> 00:21:50.920
thinking about starting up a bed where homeless

00:21:50.920 --> 00:21:55.019
people go get blankets Yeah, it's for homeless

00:21:55.019 --> 00:22:01.440
people to begin with Yeah, no no and then when

00:22:01.440 --> 00:22:03.500
they're not using them they can take them out

00:22:03.500 --> 00:22:07.140
They could put them in there and another homeless

00:22:07.140 --> 00:22:10.160
person come up and go hey, I think I need a blanket

00:22:10.569 --> 00:22:13.170
So they walk you know get in there get a blanket

00:22:13.170 --> 00:22:15.970
a blouse whatever and be on their way You know

00:22:15.970 --> 00:22:18.670
to go do whatever it is that they you know wherever

00:22:18.670 --> 00:22:24.970
they're going or whatever Yeah so Next up this

00:22:24.970 --> 00:22:26.769
a little bit different, but bear with me here

00:22:26.769 --> 00:22:37.450
Rob. I have a rant about balconies Okay, okay

00:22:38.500 --> 00:22:40.740
I propose that when you buy a room with a balcony

00:22:40.740 --> 00:22:44.400
at a hotel anymore, it's a class system. Let

00:22:44.400 --> 00:22:46.720
me get into this. This seems to be the case.

00:22:46.759 --> 00:22:49.680
I'm going to let you. I'm going to let you. Okay,

00:22:49.680 --> 00:22:53.259
thank you. If you book a room and it's not top

00:22:53.259 --> 00:22:55.660
of the line, your room with a beautiful ocean

00:22:55.660 --> 00:22:58.619
view won't open. It won't open and let you out

00:22:58.619 --> 00:23:01.500
on the balcony. This has been happening for a

00:23:01.500 --> 00:23:04.640
few years now. I get this for many years of traveling.

00:23:04.890 --> 00:23:07.509
I've had examples as well. I used to be able

00:23:07.509 --> 00:23:12.730
to book an older hotel that had been refurbished

00:23:12.730 --> 00:23:17.450
or on the not so demand side of the beach and

00:23:17.450 --> 00:23:21.269
resorts. It's either like an older one on the

00:23:21.269 --> 00:23:25.650
nice side or it's on the older side that people

00:23:25.650 --> 00:23:29.109
don't prefer to go to anymore. So all the balcony

00:23:29.109 --> 00:23:31.950
rooms would open and you could smell the ocean

00:23:31.950 --> 00:23:35.579
and it's the same around here too. So, I can't

00:23:35.579 --> 00:23:38.799
seem to get a functioning balcony room at any

00:23:38.799 --> 00:23:43.240
older hotel or resort. You know, you go into

00:23:43.240 --> 00:23:45.759
Fort Lauderdale and there's ocean sky and ocean

00:23:45.759 --> 00:23:49.279
manor. I can't even seem to be able to book anything

00:23:49.279 --> 00:23:52.759
except an inside room anymore. I kind of wonder

00:23:52.759 --> 00:23:56.079
if maybe the wealthy rent these working balconies

00:23:56.079 --> 00:24:00.579
by the month or even the year. They might. Yeah.

00:24:01.160 --> 00:24:03.440
Yeah, and I'm wondering about that because it

00:24:03.440 --> 00:24:05.980
seems like these working balconies you can't

00:24:05.980 --> 00:24:09.480
find them anymore and If someone knows what I'm

00:24:09.480 --> 00:24:12.299
talking about and has some examples, please write

00:24:12.299 --> 00:24:15.420
in Because I'm sure there's something to it for

00:24:15.420 --> 00:24:23.599
real So and I'm wondering if it's that so Anyhow,

00:24:23.619 --> 00:24:26.660
so I'm gonna go back to Eureka Springs and we

00:24:26.660 --> 00:24:28.799
had that big courtyard in the back I'm everywhere

00:24:28.799 --> 00:24:33.799
tonight. Okay, so I know this All right, cool.

00:24:34.019 --> 00:24:36.819
Thank you So I was sitting in the dark listening

00:24:36.819 --> 00:24:39.160
to nature sounds right and this is back in that

00:24:39.160 --> 00:24:42.640
where that cliff is I told you that cliff on

00:24:42.640 --> 00:24:50.220
the and there's that What would you call it a

00:24:50.220 --> 00:24:55.220
little patio back there a Little courtyard. Okay,

00:24:55.220 --> 00:24:57.460
and then there's that big cliff that goes over

00:24:57.460 --> 00:25:02.650
and and and this was at that cliffside place

00:25:02.650 --> 00:25:05.569
of bed and breakfast we're staying at. Okay,

00:25:05.809 --> 00:25:09.390
so, I'm listening to this very loud, rather high

00:25:09.390 --> 00:25:14.069
-pitched noise, and it sounded like, you know,

00:25:14.130 --> 00:25:16.549
it was a frog maiden sound I found out, right?

00:25:17.029 --> 00:25:19.789
I looked it up on the internet. So I spent 30

00:25:19.789 --> 00:25:22.470
minutes perfecting the sound, right? And I'm

00:25:22.470 --> 00:25:24.650
kind of bitter now. I got snubbed by a frog.

00:25:25.009 --> 00:25:26.809
The frog would never answer back, right Rob?

00:25:27.529 --> 00:25:29.789
Would you be a little irritated too? You spend

00:25:29.789 --> 00:25:33.099
that much time? trying to mimic its voice, right?

00:25:33.140 --> 00:25:36.339
Its sound. Then you go perfectly and the fucker

00:25:36.339 --> 00:25:39.900
doesn't answer back. Especially when you're sitting

00:25:39.900 --> 00:25:43.200
in dark late at night, yeah. Yeah, yeah, exactly.

00:25:43.539 --> 00:25:45.779
And don't ask me why I was that bored. I don't

00:25:45.779 --> 00:25:47.420
know. I shouldn't have been. I was on vacation.

00:25:48.400 --> 00:25:51.880
So, I got the thinking. Well, Val was in bed.

00:25:52.380 --> 00:25:54.180
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, I was out there with

00:25:54.180 --> 00:25:56.680
a yin -ling crew. Yeah, a couple of yin -lings

00:25:56.680 --> 00:25:59.599
and you know. So, I didn't get snubbed at all,

00:25:59.779 --> 00:26:02.180
Rob. The frog was not a gay male frog. That's

00:26:02.180 --> 00:26:05.440
all it was. He heard a male frog sound, and he

00:26:05.440 --> 00:26:11.759
wasn't interested. I'm very happy about that.

00:26:11.799 --> 00:26:16.539
I was not smug. I was not smug. You know, it

00:26:16.539 --> 00:26:18.619
would have been very awkward if a gay frog jumped

00:26:18.619 --> 00:26:20.279
out at me, and it's like ready for anything,

00:26:20.420 --> 00:26:22.039
you know, like, hey, all right, hey, I heard

00:26:22.039 --> 00:26:26.839
you, buddy. All right, I'm here. I was just joking

00:26:26.839 --> 00:26:29.200
around, man. I wouldn't really want to have frog

00:26:29.200 --> 00:26:32.119
sex with a, you know, male frog or even the female

00:26:32.119 --> 00:26:35.079
frog. But, you know, sorry about the confusion.

00:26:35.740 --> 00:26:39.299
So, yeah, that's all it was. It heard a male

00:26:39.299 --> 00:26:42.799
frog voice and was like, no thank you. It didn't

00:26:42.799 --> 00:26:50.519
answer back. Right? Yep. All right. I'll say

00:26:50.519 --> 00:26:57.259
my gay Russian story. I guess I have a gay rooster

00:26:57.259 --> 00:27:02.039
story. Go ahead, please. No, no, no, no. Some

00:27:02.039 --> 00:27:05.640
other time. Okay, all right. We already have

00:27:05.640 --> 00:27:09.019
tonight's lineup. Okay. All right. Okay. All

00:27:09.019 --> 00:27:12.019
right. Well, that's all I got. I have more stuff.

00:27:12.339 --> 00:27:14.880
But like always, we've got to stop it somewhere.

00:27:15.160 --> 00:27:19.099
So let's go to you, Rob. All right. Well, since

00:27:19.099 --> 00:27:23.279
I've had so many females from Sunrise Beach on

00:27:23.279 --> 00:27:30.440
me lately. Yeah. All females. That's weird. I

00:27:30.440 --> 00:27:35.299
know. And I don't know any of them. Tammy, Tara,

00:27:35.539 --> 00:27:37.359
and what was the other one? Oh well, go ahead.

00:27:38.240 --> 00:27:41.359
Oh, I don't remember. There's been three or four.

00:27:42.099 --> 00:27:45.900
But anyway, I'm going to go on with Lake of the

00:27:45.900 --> 00:28:34.410
Ozarks Nights. Okay. Yeah Yeah, yeah That's what

00:28:34.410 --> 00:28:37.809
the problem cause statement filed in Camden County

00:28:37.809 --> 00:28:40.609
alleged that the pursuit started late Saturday

00:28:40.609 --> 00:28:44.630
afternoon Which was Saturday of Labor Day weekend?

00:28:45.069 --> 00:29:21.940
Imagine that mm -hmm Okay, I haven't been there

00:29:21.940 --> 00:30:11.519
when that was there. I don't think so He would've...

00:30:49.380 --> 00:30:54.480
Very cool When is Ozark law coming out do you

00:30:54.480 --> 00:31:01.240
know As far as I do okay see I don't get to watch

00:31:01.240 --> 00:31:04.680
it because I don't have any on my streaming It's

00:31:04.680 --> 00:31:08.619
on A &E So I don't get to watch it, but I will

00:31:08.619 --> 00:31:12.200
get to here before all oh did I say that oh?

00:31:12.460 --> 00:31:17.059
I heard nothing I heard nothing You know what

00:31:17.059 --> 00:31:30.190
I heard No, things don't realize how much things

00:31:30.190 --> 00:31:34.589
are going to ramp up. There's going to be a big

00:31:34.589 --> 00:31:43.150
change. And me and Mark know about it. Good.

00:31:44.690 --> 00:31:47.950
Just wait until November. November is the big

00:31:47.950 --> 00:31:50.490
date everybody will find out until November.

00:31:53.420 --> 00:31:57.839
You hear that Mitch? Big day in November. Alright,

00:31:57.880 --> 00:32:01.220
he's been warned. Alright, do you want to take

00:32:01.220 --> 00:32:04.119
our first break? I'll warn him again during emails,

00:32:04.160 --> 00:32:08.039
don't worry. Okay, good, good, please. Alright,

00:32:08.180 --> 00:32:12.519
we'll be right back. Kick me out of the fan club.

00:32:12.920 --> 00:32:14.920
Oh yeah, he did do that last week, didn't he

00:32:14.920 --> 00:32:24.319
the fucker? Yeah! Okay, you'll really I just

00:32:24.319 --> 00:32:26.839
got to looking at this I forgot about yeah, you're

00:32:26.839 --> 00:32:32.700
gonna like this email All right, we'll be right

00:32:32.700 --> 00:32:53.470
back This is Kansas City here. Hold my beer,

00:32:53.470 --> 00:33:01.569
bitch. And now, Deep Thoughts with Mark. Hmm.

00:33:02.210 --> 00:33:06.089
Let me think here. My car keys have actually

00:33:06.089 --> 00:33:18.009
traveled further than my car. Hmm. Weird. Have

00:33:18.009 --> 00:33:20.170
you ever wondered what something is about? Have

00:33:20.170 --> 00:33:22.349
you ever looked at something and said, I wonder

00:33:22.349 --> 00:33:25.410
what the origin of that is? Well, so have we.

00:33:25.950 --> 00:33:30.730
That's why we give you The Origin of The Origin

00:33:30.730 --> 00:33:35.970
of Coca -Cola. On May 8th, 1886, Dr. John Pemberton

00:33:35.970 --> 00:33:38.849
served the world's first Coca -Cola at Jacobs

00:33:38.849 --> 00:33:42.309
Pharmacy in Atlanta, Georgia. The drink was served

00:33:42.309 --> 00:33:50.869
as a tonic for common ailments. Rob consumed

00:33:50.869 --> 00:33:55.309
small doses of radiation for 30 years! Rob is

00:33:55.309 --> 00:33:59.930
a name to radiation. Watch him glow! Watch Rob

00:33:59.930 --> 00:34:03.970
Rad jump up 25 feet and grab birds out of thin

00:34:03.970 --> 00:34:08.690
air with his mouth! With his mouth! Rob can now

00:34:08.690 --> 00:34:11.869
be elected for children's parties and bar mitzvahs!

00:34:12.570 --> 00:34:15.719
That's right! Come on and rent you a Rob today.

00:34:15.980 --> 00:34:19.760
That's right, come by and rent Rob for a day!

00:34:20.239 --> 00:34:24.820
A day! A day! Watch Rob consume seven bottles

00:34:24.820 --> 00:34:28.380
of night cream and still break dance and moonwalk.

00:34:28.800 --> 00:34:32.460
Watch Rob Redd fart down a building. Fart down

00:34:32.460 --> 00:34:36.619
a building! Rob Redd assumes no responsibility

00:34:36.619 --> 00:34:38.780
whatsoever. He is not a babysitter and he doesn't

00:34:38.780 --> 00:34:40.559
give one else to share about your children. Please

00:34:40.559 --> 00:34:42.800
remember to corral every little bastard you have.

00:34:42.969 --> 00:34:45.230
Before Rob gets there, and Waldo will not put

00:34:45.230 --> 00:34:47.550
up with any backtalk, he will promptly keep them

00:34:47.550 --> 00:34:49.989
in the place. Rob Radd consumes no responsibility

00:34:49.989 --> 00:34:52.070
for anything that could be stolen from his visit.

00:34:52.190 --> 00:34:54.510
Rob Radd has no responsibility whatsoever in

00:34:54.510 --> 00:34:57.670
any help him of any situation. Right to Rob today.

00:34:58.789 --> 00:35:01.530
Hey there, slap nets. It's time for The Creep's

00:35:01.530 --> 00:35:06.789
Music News. Hey, my little pumpkin seeds. This

00:35:06.789 --> 00:35:09.860
is Johnny Rohibnall with your music news. This

00:35:09.860 --> 00:35:12.500
November, Bad Company will be inducted into the

00:35:12.500 --> 00:35:15.239
Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Only two of the band's

00:35:15.239 --> 00:35:18.619
original members remain, Paul Rogers, the singer

00:35:18.619 --> 00:35:21.559
and drummer, Simon Kirk, the latter of which

00:35:21.559 --> 00:35:23.699
said the odds of them performing at the ceremony

00:35:23.699 --> 00:35:26.880
are very good. It's not a definite just yet,

00:35:27.039 --> 00:35:29.559
though. I don't know. I know that we've been

00:35:29.559 --> 00:35:31.940
approached to play a couple of songs Kirk recently

00:35:31.940 --> 00:35:34.260
explained to Defenders of the Faith podcast.

00:35:34.840 --> 00:35:36.699
I've spoken with Paul. Paul's health, as you

00:35:36.699 --> 00:35:39.380
know, is not good. But I think I'm crossing my

00:35:39.380 --> 00:35:41.340
fingers that we will be able to play at least

00:35:41.340 --> 00:35:44.079
one song. I don't know what that is yet, and

00:35:44.079 --> 00:35:45.699
I don't even know who's going to be inducting

00:35:45.699 --> 00:35:50.619
us yet. Simon, we hope you are correct. We would

00:35:50.619 --> 00:35:53.820
love to hear one last song from you two. This

00:35:53.820 --> 00:35:56.980
is Johnny Rohipnall. That was your music news.

00:35:57.179 --> 00:36:03.639
And remember, bar chords are bullshit. All aware

00:36:03.639 --> 00:36:06.590
of the Amber Alert, right? Well, get rid of your

00:36:06.590 --> 00:36:08.929
disinfectants and rubber bedspreads, kids. It's

00:36:08.929 --> 00:36:12.530
the all -new Amber Heard Alert System. This fantastic

00:36:12.530 --> 00:36:15.030
early warning device helps one stay dry and rid

00:36:15.030 --> 00:36:18.150
of all those annoying mattress invoices. Simply

00:36:18.150 --> 00:36:20.750
hook up to child under six or psychopath and

00:36:20.750 --> 00:36:23.429
wait for the running water sound. This clever

00:36:23.429 --> 00:36:25.889
machine has three distinct settings. Bablin Brook,

00:36:26.090 --> 00:36:28.590
ocean waves, and roaring river for those close

00:36:28.590 --> 00:36:31.929
call. Order today and get a free Cinnabon Renews

00:36:31.929 --> 00:36:51.840
It Cartridge. What do you call a bundle of hay

00:36:51.840 --> 00:37:06.300
in church? Christian Bale. Next up, Things Overheard

00:37:06.300 --> 00:37:09.849
in Hell. There's water. has the top 10 spots

00:37:09.849 --> 00:37:18.150
on billboard top 100. Your mama's so fat, Dracula,

00:37:18.510 --> 00:37:22.489
fit her neck, and got diabetes. The regular Joe

00:37:22.489 --> 00:37:25.449
Q public may believe anything he hears and sees,

00:37:25.750 --> 00:37:28.489
but not here at To Do's Bags Microphone. Here

00:37:28.489 --> 00:37:31.030
at To Do's Bags Microphone, we question everything.

00:37:31.329 --> 00:37:32.969
That's why we have a little segment we'd like

00:37:32.969 --> 00:37:36.489
to call, I call bullshit. Bullshit. Bullshit.

00:37:36.829 --> 00:37:41.130
Bullshit. So let me make sure I have this correct

00:37:41.130 --> 00:37:44.010
all the waiting for Epstein client list all the

00:37:44.010 --> 00:37:46.750
promises of justice All the huge names that were

00:37:46.750 --> 00:37:49.170
all over his private island suddenly. There's

00:37:49.170 --> 00:37:51.909
no client list It's a well -known fact Epstein

00:37:51.909 --> 00:37:55.650
kept a list of clients So dislay Maxwell is rotting

00:37:55.650 --> 00:37:58.090
in prison and has no memory of any of her visitors

00:37:58.090 --> 00:38:00.829
when she was one of the hosts You mean to tell

00:38:00.829 --> 00:38:03.670
me she cannot spit out a few names They barter

00:38:03.670 --> 00:38:06.769
with every other criminal. Why not her? I'll

00:38:06.769 --> 00:38:10.340
tell you why Because power protects power. That's

00:38:10.340 --> 00:38:13.119
why. This bullshit dog and pony show will only

00:38:13.119 --> 00:38:16.739
go so far. Promises and convictions turn to dust.

00:38:17.300 --> 00:38:20.199
I'll even go one step further. Jeffrey Epstein

00:38:20.199 --> 00:38:23.599
is still alive. His death was faked. His friends

00:38:23.599 --> 00:38:26.500
made sure of this. The next time you think justice

00:38:26.500 --> 00:38:29.139
will be served will be a cold day in hell. Or

00:38:29.139 --> 00:38:31.440
just wait until his perverts do kick off. Then

00:38:31.440 --> 00:38:37.440
ask them the temperature in hell. I'm here to

00:38:37.440 --> 00:38:45.280
deliver your music news this evening. Tesla bassist

00:38:45.280 --> 00:38:47.320
and founding member Brian Wheat has teamed up

00:38:47.320 --> 00:38:50.079
with original Tesla guitarist Tommy Scotch in

00:38:50.079 --> 00:38:52.760
a new band called Terminal. Joining the duo in

00:38:52.760 --> 00:38:55.159
the new group are former WASP guitarist Chris

00:38:55.159 --> 00:38:57.739
Holmes and original saliva singer Josie Scott.

00:38:58.559 --> 00:39:00.559
They plan on putting an album out later on this

00:39:00.559 --> 00:39:04.920
year or early next year. This is Phineas J. Baltares

00:39:04.920 --> 00:39:09.539
III. That has been your music news for this evening.

00:39:10.340 --> 00:39:13.659
I have one burning question for you all Do people

00:39:13.659 --> 00:39:26.900
really skip around the maypole? To douchebags

00:39:26.900 --> 00:39:29.260
and microphone on mark here in the Kansas City

00:39:29.260 --> 00:39:53.849
area to talk is cheap studio See that was a solid

00:39:53.849 --> 00:40:01.369
quack. Let me see if I knew I'm back in business

00:40:01.369 --> 00:40:06.710
yay Alright, here's some emails. Hey Mark, I

00:40:06.710 --> 00:40:09.150
have a problem. My neighbor had a Segway that

00:40:09.150 --> 00:40:12.050
was in perfect order. He had it behind his shed.

00:40:12.510 --> 00:40:14.610
I was drunk and decided to borrow it without

00:40:14.610 --> 00:40:17.389
permission. Well, I destroyed it hitting a curb.

00:40:17.849 --> 00:40:20.010
I don't want to pay for it. What should I do?

00:40:20.369 --> 00:40:25.190
Haas in Greensville, Texas. You want to help

00:40:25.190 --> 00:40:39.099
me with this Rob? Oh, oh, the segue? That must

00:40:39.099 --> 00:40:40.659
have been where this person got that from, I

00:40:40.659 --> 00:40:45.980
guess. But that was my segue. I mean, yeah. Right,

00:40:46.039 --> 00:40:50.000
right, but still. Still the rec way tonight,

00:40:50.139 --> 00:40:52.119
what do you do? You give me the one hand, so

00:40:52.119 --> 00:40:54.940
that would be me. Okay, all right. I mean, hell,

00:40:55.119 --> 00:40:59.219
our best friend almost got hit by a train. Yeah,

00:40:59.219 --> 00:41:01.360
that was in Nashville. That was in Nashville.

00:41:02.519 --> 00:41:05.039
and then there's that night we like junked my

00:41:05.039 --> 00:41:08.380
um okay the the scooter we had in nashville was

00:41:08.380 --> 00:41:11.960
not mine we rented that okay you're oh yeah that's

00:41:11.960 --> 00:41:13.480
different i was talking about the late night

00:41:13.480 --> 00:41:16.579
that we did i i think i thought i told you about

00:41:16.579 --> 00:41:20.139
maybe i didn't but we like we ditched my scooter

00:41:20.139 --> 00:41:23.239
like four or five times in cleveland it was like

00:41:23.239 --> 00:41:25.320
oh no one in the morning and we're flying around

00:41:25.320 --> 00:41:27.599
there and we kept ditching it and hitting it

00:41:27.599 --> 00:41:30.139
so i thought you're talking about that but i'm

00:41:30.139 --> 00:41:32.280
not even sure if i even talked about that on

00:41:32.280 --> 00:41:35.860
here no no i was talking about what david wrecked

00:41:35.860 --> 00:41:39.199
his segway or whatever it was yeah the scooter

00:41:39.199 --> 00:41:42.639
yeah dinner died because getting hit by a train

00:41:42.639 --> 00:41:44.599
that's what he was headed right for the train

00:41:44.599 --> 00:41:47.599
and i'm popping over the hill he was flying and

00:41:47.599 --> 00:41:50.579
he was trashed i mean he had like 10 jack and

00:41:50.579 --> 00:41:53.179
coax i'm not kidding you and like 10 yenlings

00:41:53.179 --> 00:41:56.460
he was smashed and he goes flying over the hill

00:41:56.460 --> 00:41:59.519
and then I look over there and there's a train

00:41:59.519 --> 00:42:04.260
and and and it's like flying by okay and there's

00:42:04.260 --> 00:42:07.360
no you know the train was already past the you

00:42:07.360 --> 00:42:10.170
know the stop where Davey had to stop at and

00:42:10.170 --> 00:42:12.929
he was just flying towards there not even looking

00:42:12.929 --> 00:42:14.769
and all of a sudden I see him just lay it down

00:42:14.769 --> 00:42:17.909
and I'm like oh good I was like oh my god I just

00:42:17.909 --> 00:42:20.889
killed my bestie I took him to Nashville and

00:42:20.889 --> 00:42:23.650
I put him on a fucking scooter and now he's dead

00:42:23.650 --> 00:42:29.050
but he did it somehow okay so back to Haas and

00:42:29.050 --> 00:42:32.369
Greenville Fletcher okay you need to hide the

00:42:32.369 --> 00:42:35.670
evidence for now and Rob back me up or tell me

00:42:35.670 --> 00:42:40.210
if it's a dumb idea okay later on You sneak the

00:42:40.210 --> 00:42:42.989
evidence by the curb and you tell your neighbor

00:42:42.989 --> 00:42:44.949
that you almost caught someone in a truck trying

00:42:44.949 --> 00:42:48.829
to steal his ride. You were given chase and the

00:42:48.829 --> 00:42:51.590
Segway fell off the back of the truck. And the

00:42:51.590 --> 00:42:55.510
truck had no plates. Now you're the hero. What

00:42:55.510 --> 00:42:57.710
do you think, Rob? There you go. That's awesome.

00:42:57.989 --> 00:43:01.230
There you go. That is believable. That is believable.

00:43:01.449 --> 00:43:04.030
Yes. And even scuff up your arms a little bit

00:43:04.030 --> 00:43:06.869
or something. That way you're even more of a

00:43:06.869 --> 00:43:09.949
martyr. Oh yeah, yeah, I grabbed the back of

00:43:09.949 --> 00:43:11.789
the truck and it drugged me for a little while,

00:43:11.809 --> 00:43:15.389
but I'm okay. Actually, we had somebody at camp

00:43:15.389 --> 00:43:18.010
to do that just the other night. Oh, really?

00:43:18.429 --> 00:43:23.949
Get drugged? God, that'd be horrible. Oh, that

00:43:23.949 --> 00:43:28.510
would hurt. Oh, here we go. Want to hear from

00:43:28.510 --> 00:43:34.389
Mitch? We got it. Oh, Bob. Rob, we also decided

00:43:34.389 --> 00:43:37.110
to erase you from the Lake Freeman tour guide.

00:43:37.369 --> 00:43:41.510
Sorry, but we cannot, uh, celebrate people that

00:43:41.510 --> 00:43:44.969
don't support us anymore. You'll regret snubbing

00:43:44.969 --> 00:43:47.710
us. Clint says you're a bitch just like Mark.

00:43:48.090 --> 00:43:51.150
I still hate Mark, but like you. Mitch the loyal

00:43:51.150 --> 00:43:57.909
guy that robs shits all over. You got anything

00:43:57.909 --> 00:44:08.269
for me? Yeah, you shit on Rob. Rob is destroyed.

00:44:08.690 --> 00:44:10.849
He is just destroyed. He's not acting like it

00:44:10.849 --> 00:44:13.369
on the podcast. But I've talked to him personally

00:44:13.369 --> 00:44:16.489
and he's destroyed Clint. He is just devastated

00:44:16.489 --> 00:44:20.170
that you would do that to him. Okay, and as far

00:44:20.170 --> 00:44:24.570
as Clint's concerned, your fucking Narcan's gone.

00:44:24.989 --> 00:44:27.389
I'm done. Yeah, that's it. You're gone, Clint.

00:44:27.510 --> 00:44:30.489
You're gone. You're fucked up. You're done. That's

00:44:30.489 --> 00:44:33.489
it. Your Narcan's gone. Yeah, Rob's hiding it.

00:44:33.610 --> 00:44:36.309
Yeah, you're gonna be there. taking one last

00:44:36.309 --> 00:44:40.849
puff of fentanyl. Nope. Narcan. No Narcan. So

00:44:40.849 --> 00:44:46.130
there you go. Damn it, Mitch. Why you gotta be

00:44:46.130 --> 00:44:49.190
like this, bitch? Man, I like you. Mitch, okay,

00:44:49.309 --> 00:44:51.650
how about if I do this? Mitch, I'm giving you

00:44:51.650 --> 00:44:56.670
24 hours to apologize to Rob. You got to, well,

00:44:57.150 --> 00:44:59.610
this is Wednesday. You got to Sunday. Okay, Sunday.

00:44:59.989 --> 00:45:04.460
You got to Sunday to apologize to Rob. Does that

00:45:04.460 --> 00:45:07.860
sound fair? Come on, man. Come on, Mitch. We're

00:45:07.860 --> 00:45:10.039
besties. I can't believe you just did this to

00:45:10.039 --> 00:45:12.340
me. I don't want to be like this, but hey, you

00:45:12.340 --> 00:45:15.000
want to buck up, you know I'm going to buck up

00:45:15.000 --> 00:45:18.360
to you. That's right. And Rob has been devastated

00:45:18.360 --> 00:45:20.519
ever since you dumped him. He doesn't know what

00:45:20.519 --> 00:45:22.980
to do. Oh, shit. I was looking forward to the

00:45:22.980 --> 00:45:27.139
dunking booth. Yeah. Yeah. No, no, no, no. You

00:45:27.139 --> 00:45:39.880
had to turn on him, huh? The gauntlet has been

00:45:39.880 --> 00:45:43.480
thrown down Mitch we expect an apology by Sunday

00:45:43.480 --> 00:45:51.639
Yep All right Mark, do you have any extra pieces

00:45:51.639 --> 00:45:54.619
of carpet? I could have I'm making a cat tree

00:45:54.619 --> 00:45:58.780
and could use a few pieces Thanks, Eugene Eugene

00:45:58.780 --> 00:46:03.619
in Kansas City Yeah, yeah habitat for humanity

00:46:03.619 --> 00:46:09.739
go there It's it's for charity and it's like

00:46:09.739 --> 00:46:12.320
people go into these old houses and grab stuff

00:46:12.320 --> 00:46:15.039
and pull it out That's still good. Sometimes

00:46:15.039 --> 00:46:18.300
it's carpet. Sometimes it's other stuff So no,

00:46:18.300 --> 00:46:21.659
I don't have any carpet but habitat for humanity.

00:46:21.659 --> 00:46:25.059
You can buy carpet. That's good and and used

00:46:25.059 --> 00:46:28.239
and For not that big of a price. So there's your

00:46:28.239 --> 00:46:36.360
cat tree right there Honestly, honestly the right

00:46:36.360 --> 00:46:42.000
money I'd sell section of my carpet here You

00:46:42.000 --> 00:46:51.280
gene two douches at mail .com Send Rob a message.

00:46:51.280 --> 00:47:01.500
He'll cut it out. He'll sell it to you So there

00:47:01.500 --> 00:47:06.619
you go, Eugene. All right. Rob, I own the name

00:47:06.619 --> 00:47:09.380
Duck Blind. Call your studio something else.

00:47:09.659 --> 00:47:14.659
Jake and Phoenix. Jake and Beards kiss my ass.

00:47:15.519 --> 00:47:19.159
Produce something. My name has been Duck since

00:47:19.159 --> 00:47:27.940
1983. 82, 82. TwoDouchesandMail .com, I want

00:47:27.940 --> 00:47:30.730
to see your copyright. Send it in. Other than

00:47:30.730 --> 00:47:33.929
that, fuck you. Rob's gonna keep using it. And

00:47:33.929 --> 00:47:35.949
even if you do set it in, we're still gonna use

00:47:35.949 --> 00:47:40.329
it. Well, this guy doesn't understand how it

00:47:40.329 --> 00:47:43.489
works, Jake and Phoenix. You can say that name

00:47:43.489 --> 00:47:46.710
all you want. But if he does have a copyright,

00:47:46.869 --> 00:47:52.409
you just can't logo it. Well, there you go, bitch.

00:47:52.730 --> 00:48:00.460
Or Jake, or whatever. Yeah, there you go. That's

00:48:00.460 --> 00:48:03.300
right. Yep, and I don't believe this guy anyhow

00:48:03.300 --> 00:48:07.940
And this brand has been on my arm since I was

00:48:07.940 --> 00:48:14.039
17 years old 1986 It is the duck blind studio

00:48:14.039 --> 00:48:17.300
Rob. Could you please confirm that with the quack?

00:48:18.079 --> 00:48:22.340
There you go. All right Mark was that a predator

00:48:22.340 --> 00:48:25.099
figurine on your desk? Wow. Where did you get

00:48:25.099 --> 00:48:29.960
it Johnny? No P Um, yeah, it is a Predator figurine,

00:48:30.199 --> 00:48:36.039
and I got it from the store called Lazy One.

00:48:36.219 --> 00:48:38.820
The Lazy One is the name of it, and it's in Eureka

00:48:38.820 --> 00:48:41.260
Springs, Arkansas. And this is made out of nuts

00:48:41.260 --> 00:48:44.960
and bolts and spark plugs. It is a very cool,

00:48:45.300 --> 00:48:50.000
very, oh, and a chain, and a bicycle chain. And

00:48:50.000 --> 00:48:52.739
it looks just like the Predator monster, but

00:48:52.739 --> 00:48:54.539
it's made with all that, and a spring, and a

00:48:54.539 --> 00:48:58.989
coil spring. It's really cool. That's cool. Yeah,

00:48:59.050 --> 00:49:02.050
yeah, it's very cool. So yeah, you did see that

00:49:02.050 --> 00:49:04.210
Johnny in OP even though your name's not Johnny

00:49:04.210 --> 00:49:09.130
and it still bothers me. But anyhow. Mark, I

00:49:09.130 --> 00:49:11.869
need your mustard greens recipe please. Jenny

00:49:11.869 --> 00:49:20.929
in Oklahoma. Rob, you got anything? She asked

00:49:20.929 --> 00:49:25.050
you. I was the last show. Okay, okay, okay. I

00:49:25.050 --> 00:49:29.530
was the rhubarb, whatever. Yeah. I'm getting

00:49:29.530 --> 00:49:33.949
it this time. Okay. First off, you go on Google.

00:49:34.809 --> 00:49:38.250
And you look up images of mustard green plants.

00:49:39.289 --> 00:49:43.150
Okay? And then you look up and how to on what

00:49:43.150 --> 00:49:45.809
part you can eat that you tear off of them. Okay?

00:49:45.889 --> 00:49:49.030
That'll all be online. You do just as it says.

00:49:49.610 --> 00:49:52.829
And then you boil them with vinegar for 10 hours.

00:49:56.010 --> 00:49:58.929
Then after you're done boiling up for 10 hours,

00:49:58.929 --> 00:50:02.170
you're gonna see some like smoldering stuff on

00:50:02.170 --> 00:50:11.429
the bottom of the pan You scrape that off And

00:50:11.429 --> 00:50:14.469
you throw it away, that's pretty much it right

00:50:14.469 --> 00:50:23.409
there You scrape it off, okay, and you get you

00:50:23.409 --> 00:50:27.570
get one of those egg beaters and you blend it

00:50:27.570 --> 00:50:33.670
with butter and instant mashed potatoes. You're

00:50:33.670 --> 00:50:36.429
a lot better at this game than I am. I'm just

00:50:36.429 --> 00:50:39.010
making this shit up as I go, Rob. I didn't know

00:50:39.010 --> 00:50:44.429
how to answer. So when you combine the potato

00:50:44.429 --> 00:50:50.429
flakes with the mustard green blended together,

00:50:50.889 --> 00:50:54.590
it provides you a nice mustard green potato salad.

00:50:56.619 --> 00:50:58.860
Give it to Mark. You ask for a recipe, he'll

00:50:58.860 --> 00:51:01.980
give you the side dish. There you go. That's

00:51:01.980 --> 00:51:06.880
mustard green potato salad. Straight from Mark's

00:51:06.880 --> 00:51:11.940
kitchen. You're fucking welcome. Rob, let's turn

00:51:11.940 --> 00:51:26.800
this whole thing over to you. You like that most

00:51:26.800 --> 00:51:30.840
of green potato salad? Do you like it? I love

00:51:30.840 --> 00:51:34.840
it. Love it. Don't forget to butter it when you

00:51:34.840 --> 00:51:40.460
blend it together. Okay, let me get my thoughts

00:51:40.460 --> 00:51:44.679
together. Okay. All right. We're going to go

00:51:44.679 --> 00:51:46.960
into my new segment, which you said you were

00:51:46.960 --> 00:52:02.679
going to help me with. Yes. This is... Some of

00:52:02.679 --> 00:52:09.039
it's historical, some of it, you know. And that's

00:52:09.039 --> 00:52:12.579
the new segment I've been trying to work up on,

00:52:12.639 --> 00:52:14.639
but I can't come up with a name, so I'm just

00:52:14.639 --> 00:52:16.960
going to start talking. I would call it Rob's

00:52:16.960 --> 00:52:21.920
Bag of Garbage. That'll work. That'll work. That

00:52:21.920 --> 00:52:24.760
will work. Could you reach into your bag of garbage

00:52:24.760 --> 00:52:26.780
and tell us what the first thing on the docket

00:52:26.780 --> 00:52:52.219
is? cheese omelet, barbecued meat, half a loaf

00:52:52.219 --> 00:52:57.460
of bread, three fajitas, a meat lover's pizza,

00:52:58.179 --> 00:53:03.539
fried okra, a pint of Blue Bell ice cream, and

00:53:03.539 --> 00:53:09.960
peanut butter fudge. Only to leave it all uneaten.

00:53:16.159 --> 00:53:28.900
him wait he couldn't have been afraid of death

00:53:28.900 --> 00:53:33.219
row how big of me do you really want to fuck

00:53:33.219 --> 00:53:38.139
it all up when you're being killed yeah that's

00:53:38.139 --> 00:54:01.309
true Okay, I love it Rob's bag of garbage yeah

00:54:01.309 --> 00:54:05.489
for now unless we come up with a better name

00:54:05.489 --> 00:54:15.250
Good boy Valentina Vasilovia Babel stats? Just

00:54:15.250 --> 00:54:19.670
lead at that, no just lead at that A peasant

00:54:19.670 --> 00:54:41.130
woman from 18th century Russia was a girl 1782

00:54:41.130 --> 00:54:46.449
she gave birth to 16 sets of twins seven sets

00:54:46.449 --> 00:55:15.130
of triplets and four sets of quadruplets fascinating

00:55:15.130 --> 00:55:19.170
and almost unbelievable glimpse into history

00:55:19.170 --> 00:55:22.789
and the incredible endurance of women in her

00:55:22.789 --> 00:55:29.989
time. Wow. See, that's the thing. Some of these

00:55:29.989 --> 00:55:32.809
have history to them. Some of these stories I'm

00:55:32.809 --> 00:55:35.369
going to bring up in my new segment. I love that,

00:55:35.530 --> 00:55:42.090
Rob. That's fantastic. Very cool. Okay, so Rob's

00:55:42.090 --> 00:55:45.409
Bag of Garbage is what we're calling it and it's

00:55:45.409 --> 00:55:48.949
going to be on every episode, right? Yeah, yeah,

00:55:48.949 --> 00:55:51.469
I'm just going to come up with a couple little

00:55:51.469 --> 00:55:54.829
new bits. Little nuggets. Little nuggets of gold.

00:55:55.690 --> 00:55:58.389
Little nuggets. Just throw them together. A couple

00:55:58.389 --> 00:56:01.030
of them will make a set. I love the idea, Rob.

00:56:01.170 --> 00:56:03.530
I think it's great. All right, well there's your

00:56:03.530 --> 00:56:06.630
first set of a couple of them. Let's go ahead

00:56:06.630 --> 00:56:08.969
and take our second break and come back and I've

00:56:08.969 --> 00:56:19.460
got a couple things and I know you do too. strange

00:56:19.460 --> 00:56:49.409
but true. You watched the news. It looks grim.

00:56:49.909 --> 00:56:53.389
Is an apocalypse inevitable? We suggest you download

00:56:53.389 --> 00:56:56.650
all our podcasts beforehand and have multiple

00:56:56.650 --> 00:57:00.849
mobile chargers. We have the post -apocalypse.

00:57:03.010 --> 00:57:08.530
Make sure and have plenty of rope. Strong threaded

00:57:08.530 --> 00:57:12.469
durable rope with a rating of 400 pounds or greater.

00:57:13.170 --> 00:57:15.849
You need to know basic knots. So we can go to

00:57:15.849 --> 00:57:18.670
the library and download the Boy Scouts handbook

00:57:18.670 --> 00:57:21.929
and have a reference to slip knots and other

00:57:21.929 --> 00:57:25.510
essential rope tricks. Rope can be used in traps

00:57:25.510 --> 00:57:29.389
to catch food or would be predators. Rope is

00:57:29.389 --> 00:57:32.510
a key ingredient in post -apocalypse survival.

00:57:33.630 --> 00:57:36.369
Our constant pursuit for a real knee slapper.

00:57:37.090 --> 00:57:40.849
It's strange insults from an alien. Real hilarity.

00:57:41.269 --> 00:57:44.730
Blue -eyed dress, like an assistant about coach.

00:57:48.489 --> 00:57:53.090
The bull weevil clap read up on that sometime

00:57:53.090 --> 00:57:57.989
The bull weevil clap and this old guy that I

00:57:57.989 --> 00:58:01.889
knew that was in Vietnam I probably should well

00:58:01.889 --> 00:58:04.030
you know what you can take this part out of here

00:58:04.030 --> 00:58:06.550
if you like it And we could put it somewhere,

00:58:06.550 --> 00:58:08.750
but this old guy that I knew down the road for

00:58:08.750 --> 00:58:12.900
me There was a Vietnam. He told me that One day,

00:58:12.980 --> 00:58:16.199
you know him and a couple of guys Got a day off

00:58:16.199 --> 00:58:19.519
from the war So they went into the nearest town

00:58:19.519 --> 00:58:21.199
to go look for some hookers, you know, they're

00:58:21.199 --> 00:58:23.219
like, you know, if we're gonna die We're gonna

00:58:23.219 --> 00:58:26.519
get laid. So, okay. All right, so they go in

00:58:26.519 --> 00:58:31.139
there and I guess the Viet Cong Loaded him full

00:58:31.139 --> 00:58:34.440
loaded the prostitutes full this stuff called

00:58:34.440 --> 00:58:40.869
the bowl we will clap Yeah, oh it is So anyhow,

00:58:40.889 --> 00:58:43.869
he said, you know, they all went and you know

00:58:43.869 --> 00:58:45.730
Did what they needed to do, you know, they thought

00:58:45.730 --> 00:58:47.449
they're all gonna die So they went and they got

00:58:47.449 --> 00:58:50.269
laid and next day when a guy comes in he goes,

00:58:50.510 --> 00:58:53.730
oh my god He goes I hurt so bad, but you know

00:58:53.730 --> 00:58:57.849
my fucking dick hurts like hell my stomach hurts

00:58:57.849 --> 00:59:00.070
I think I'm gonna die what they do with those

00:59:00.070 --> 00:59:03.670
damn hookers So anyhow and he started hurting

00:59:03.670 --> 00:59:05.610
really bad. He said it hurts so bad. You could

00:59:05.610 --> 00:59:08.010
hardly breathe You could feel it in your dick

00:59:08.010 --> 00:59:12.420
shaft. It was so bad So they all go in, and I

00:59:12.420 --> 00:59:15.280
guess it's like a horrible infection, and if

00:59:15.280 --> 00:59:17.719
you don't get it treated it will kill you. Like,

00:59:17.739 --> 00:59:20.780
you know, go up your scrotum and into your testicles.

00:59:21.860 --> 00:59:25.420
Anyhow, the only cure back then was they had

00:59:25.420 --> 00:59:29.500
to take this glass rod, shove it in the end of

00:59:29.500 --> 00:59:34.019
your penis, and mash it with a rubber mallet.

00:59:34.380 --> 00:59:37.340
And then you have to physically squeeze all the

00:59:37.340 --> 00:59:40.789
infection out of your penis. I've heard of this.

00:59:41.150 --> 00:59:45.690
Yes, and this took like four hours of mashing

00:59:45.690 --> 00:59:49.909
this rod and then squeezing all the infection

00:59:49.909 --> 00:59:51.550
out, because if they don't get all the infection

00:59:51.550 --> 00:59:53.929
out right then... It flares right back up. Yes.

00:59:54.050 --> 00:59:56.989
It seals your pee -pee shut. Yes. Yeah, that

00:59:56.989 --> 00:59:58.849
was the old joke of, you know, oh there's, you

00:59:58.849 --> 01:00:01.170
know, catch BD and your dick's gonna turn black

01:00:01.170 --> 01:00:28.010
and fall off, but... This is Joshua Belmont,

01:00:28.110 --> 01:00:31.070
your Pooper Thought Man on the hustle. So I just

01:00:31.070 --> 01:00:33.369
realized a genius that gets absolutely no credit.

01:00:33.949 --> 01:00:36.650
His name is Marshall Taylor. He is credited with

01:00:36.650 --> 01:00:38.909
the first bag of salad mix that was bagged and

01:00:38.909 --> 01:00:43.190
sold. Yesterday was his birthday. I believe he

01:00:43.190 --> 01:00:45.809
is still alive. This guy's genius will never

01:00:45.809 --> 01:00:49.090
be fully appreciated. Before this man, we settled

01:00:49.090 --> 01:00:51.510
for iceberg lettuce with maybe a couple of croutons

01:00:51.510 --> 01:00:54.510
and some cheese. Was Mr. Taylor satisfied with

01:00:54.510 --> 01:00:57.909
that? Hell no. He realized that Billy Americana

01:00:57.909 --> 01:00:59.929
would never go out and buy a couple of radishes,

01:01:00.190 --> 01:01:02.349
a couple of carrots, a head of purple cabbage,

01:01:02.750 --> 01:01:05.110
maybe snow peas, and possibly some cute romaine

01:01:05.110 --> 01:01:09.030
blattice for extra bougie. Mr. Taylor, you should

01:01:09.030 --> 01:01:13.789
have a national holiday. Two dish bags and microphone

01:01:13.789 --> 01:01:17.269
in an effort to keep everything fresh. We offer

01:01:17.269 --> 01:01:24.619
you first world problems. Dammit. I can't decide

01:01:24.619 --> 01:01:29.599
between nachos, chili, or wings for the game

01:01:29.599 --> 01:01:33.960
tonight. This is bullshit. I should not have

01:01:33.960 --> 01:01:37.920
to make decisions like this. Introducing Rob

01:01:37.920 --> 01:01:41.039
Radd's new book, How to Track Your Enemy by Scent.

01:01:41.360 --> 01:01:43.860
That's right, smell your enemy before they get

01:01:43.860 --> 01:01:46.380
you. Order this gem now and get a free virtual

01:01:46.380 --> 01:01:48.980
tour of Rob's secret bunker in Camdenton, Missouri.

01:01:49.519 --> 01:01:52.059
Also receive a free copy of his new book, How

01:01:52.059 --> 01:02:08.099
to Clean Raw Sewage for Food. Two douchebags

01:02:08.099 --> 01:02:10.099
and microphone, I'm Mark here in the Kansas City

01:02:10.099 --> 01:02:15.760
area at the Talk is Cheap Studio. And I am Rob,

01:02:15.880 --> 01:02:19.280
it's a beautiful night alarm of Lake of the Ozarks

01:02:19.280 --> 01:02:24.739
in the Duck Blind Studio. All right, I've got

01:02:24.739 --> 01:02:29.300
a little story here I'd like to get into. Okay,

01:02:30.099 --> 01:02:34.550
this in Starbucks, Korea, They've started posting

01:02:34.550 --> 01:02:37.769
signs in all of its shops across the country

01:02:37.769 --> 01:02:41.510
warning customers that they may no longer bring

01:02:41.510 --> 01:02:44.530
desktop computers and printers to the locations

01:02:44.530 --> 01:02:48.130
to start work. They can do that over there I

01:02:48.130 --> 01:02:54.349
guess. warning customers that they may longer

01:02:54.349 --> 01:02:56.429
bring, you know, they can't bring the test stops,

01:02:56.630 --> 01:02:58.789
the printers and all that. United Press International

01:02:58.789 --> 01:03:01.630
reported on August 11th that Starbucks is also

01:03:01.630 --> 01:03:04.469
banned setting up large partitions and leaving

01:03:04.469 --> 01:03:07.190
valuables at a table for long periods of time.

01:03:09.570 --> 01:03:12.809
The targeted customer is known as Konjoks, which

01:03:12.809 --> 01:03:15.969
combines the Korean word for cafe and study and

01:03:15.969 --> 01:03:19.300
tribe. Starbucks made the policy change after

01:03:19.300 --> 01:03:21.639
other customers complained about the cafe squatters

01:03:21.639 --> 01:03:24.739
taking up too much space. Laptops will still

01:03:24.739 --> 01:03:27.699
be welcomed, but like you heard, no more partitions,

01:03:28.079 --> 01:03:35.699
no more printers, none of that stuff. That seems

01:03:35.699 --> 01:03:54.289
logical to me. What do you think? That's a good

01:03:54.289 --> 01:04:05.210
point with partitions and stuff you couldn't

01:04:05.210 --> 01:04:09.750
put up partitions or even bring a printer in

01:04:09.750 --> 01:04:15.190
I don't think they'd allow that even Yeah, I

01:04:15.190 --> 01:04:17.510
know that's pretty interesting. But you know,

01:04:17.610 --> 01:04:19.949
Korea probably doesn't have nearly as many wild,

01:04:19.949 --> 01:04:27.230
not wild, as many hotspots. I'll bet you anything,

01:04:27.250 --> 01:04:29.610
they don't have Wi -Fi hotspots like we do over

01:04:29.610 --> 01:04:32.409
here. So they probably people are probably they

01:04:32.409 --> 01:04:34.889
can't afford one at home. So they probably have

01:04:34.889 --> 01:04:37.230
to go to Starbucks to do their work and business.

01:04:37.610 --> 01:04:40.309
So that's what I'm thinking. Yeah. So all right,

01:04:40.429 --> 01:04:53.110
Rob, we turn it to you. Okay, I'm withholding

01:04:53.110 --> 01:04:58.690
judgment. But the story could end up going nationwide.

01:04:59.349 --> 01:05:59.070
Okay. Okay Okay. So there's one other way to

01:05:59.070 --> 01:06:02.789
fill up. They're messing around, you know? Uh

01:06:02.789 --> 01:06:58.280
-huh. Gotcha. Okay. I get that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:06:58.500 --> 01:07:00.440
Yeah, I do too. That's that way in Missouri,

01:07:00.679 --> 01:07:04.900
too, actually. Yeah, it is. Yep. Police can now

01:07:04.900 --> 01:07:08.559
take your gas stations for the offense, although

01:07:08.559 --> 01:07:11.519
so far only nine alleged offenders have been

01:07:11.519 --> 01:07:16.420
cited. Okay. So they're fine in the gas stations,

01:07:16.940 --> 01:08:02.219
too, for allowing them to do it. Oh, yeah. She

01:08:02.219 --> 01:08:04.940
said I'm very disturbed by the language of the

01:08:04.940 --> 01:08:11.639
statute because it's just so non -descript. If

01:08:11.639 --> 01:08:14.239
she's a clerk supposed to be looking out the

01:08:14.239 --> 01:08:17.779
window while this is happening to make sure that

01:08:17.779 --> 01:08:20.479
appropriate vehicles are using the vehicles.

01:08:23.039 --> 01:08:26.579
It isn't 1950, this isn't when we send someone

01:08:26.579 --> 01:08:29.840
out to fill up your car. Okay, I'll stop it right

01:08:29.840 --> 01:08:41.899
there. Okay. Yes. How can the attendant not see

01:08:41.899 --> 01:08:46.359
the gas station make sure of that? Yeah. Yeah,

01:08:46.479 --> 01:08:49.159
the gas attendant should be held responsible,

01:08:49.319 --> 01:08:53.619
in my opinion. Yeah, I agree with you 100%. Yep.

01:08:54.060 --> 01:08:56.260
If they're going to find a biker, she ought to

01:08:56.260 --> 01:08:58.779
find a person to sell them the fuel. Absolutely.

01:08:59.960 --> 01:09:22.899
Yep, I agree with that 100%. Okay. or Los Angeles

01:09:22.899 --> 01:09:29.399
or New York. You get my point. Now down there

01:09:29.399 --> 01:09:34.739
where I'm at, it'd be a little bit of a story.

01:10:05.799 --> 01:10:11.920
Thank you, Rob. I like that one. This is a game

01:10:11.920 --> 01:10:15.960
of Ding Dong Ditch going very poorly. This is

01:10:15.960 --> 01:10:19.220
up in Iowa. An Iowa man was arrested for fake

01:10:19.220 --> 01:10:23.500
intoxication. That's what his exact charge was.

01:10:24.079 --> 01:10:28.949
It was simulated public intoxication. Fayette

01:10:28.949 --> 01:10:32.510
County Sheriff's deputies were called about individuals

01:10:32.510 --> 01:10:37.170
lying in a ditch around 5 30 a .m. Caleb Barker

01:10:37.170 --> 01:10:39.670
31 was the only one still around when officers

01:10:39.670 --> 01:10:42.869
arrived he was arrested with a charge of simulated

01:10:42.869 --> 01:10:46.789
public intoxication which is a law in Iowa that

01:10:46.789 --> 01:10:51.210
you cannot do that and it doesn't explain why

01:10:51.210 --> 01:10:56.310
it's you know why it's against the law but this

01:10:56.310 --> 01:11:03.199
guy oh go ahead Um, I'm wondering if maybe you're

01:11:03.199 --> 01:11:07.000
wasting the policeman's valuable time by acting

01:11:07.000 --> 01:11:09.539
like you're messed up, or maybe trying to get

01:11:09.539 --> 01:11:12.619
him off the scent of somebody else by acting

01:11:12.619 --> 01:11:14.779
like you're trashed. Do you think that could

01:11:14.779 --> 01:11:18.100
be it? Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. You

01:11:18.100 --> 01:11:21.000
hit that buzz mind dancers on the head. Okay.

01:11:21.340 --> 01:11:25.220
Yes. I was kind of... The main thing is, yeah,

01:11:25.359 --> 01:11:32.239
you're wasting officer's time. Yeah. Well, I

01:11:32.239 --> 01:11:36.020
do remember that. But also, like you said, there's

01:11:36.020 --> 01:11:38.760
also a draw them off the set of other things

01:11:38.760 --> 01:11:42.100
going on. I get it. I get it. We used to do it

01:11:42.100 --> 01:11:45.079
all the time when we were younger. Yeah. Yeah,

01:11:45.079 --> 01:11:49.140
well, yeah. Oh, go ahead. Distractions. Distraction.

01:11:49.399 --> 01:11:51.439
Yeah, yeah. Someone was like really fucked up

01:11:51.439 --> 01:11:53.060
and you didn't want them to know, like, you know,

01:11:53.060 --> 01:11:55.479
I don't know, they took some something, whatever,

01:11:55.520 --> 01:11:57.840
LSD or something, and you didn't want them going

01:11:57.840 --> 01:12:00.279
to jail. So you'd act like you were the one that

01:12:00.279 --> 01:12:02.340
was hammered. and then when they did all the

01:12:02.340 --> 01:12:05.039
tests they really you know they realized you

01:12:05.039 --> 01:12:07.359
weren't hammered but by that time the focus is

01:12:07.359 --> 01:12:09.439
one away from your buddy that was really fucked

01:12:09.439 --> 01:12:14.199
up yeah we've done that many a times yeah i think

01:12:14.199 --> 01:12:17.359
that's why that law is in place in iowa but this

01:12:17.359 --> 01:12:22.000
guy is going to jail and he had a $50 ,000 bond

01:12:22.000 --> 01:12:24.859
so it's going to take him five grand to get out

01:12:24.859 --> 01:12:28.640
so just for lying in a ditch acting fucked up

01:12:29.569 --> 01:12:33.270
simulated in public intoxication is the actual

01:12:33.270 --> 01:12:36.989
charge. So there you go. Hey Rob, that's all

01:12:36.989 --> 01:12:40.270
I got on that one. Go ahead. I think we have

01:12:40.270 --> 01:12:46.590
dumbass of the week. Yes. Alright, I'm gonna

01:12:46.590 --> 01:13:07.619
go into more serious stuff. Okay. They have a

01:13:07.619 --> 01:13:13.819
lot of people intruding Well, it's like a secondary

01:13:13.819 --> 01:13:19.180
barrier to the top I'm good with that. Are you?

01:13:19.819 --> 01:13:28.920
Yeah The plane a Boeing 737 Max 8 Which was delivered

01:13:28.920 --> 01:13:32.760
in recent days took off Friday afternoon from

01:13:32.760 --> 01:13:37.750
Phoenix to Denver the airline said Secondary

01:13:37.750 --> 01:13:41.569
barriers long sought after the September 11,

01:13:42.369 --> 01:13:46.350
2001 attacks that exposed the risks of inadequate

01:13:46.350 --> 01:13:50.390
flight deck protection are crucial to aviation

01:13:50.390 --> 01:13:55.609
safety, pilots unions have argued. The flight

01:13:55.609 --> 01:14:25.840
is a milestone. Last month, the FFA agreed to

01:14:25.840 --> 01:14:31.859
give airlines until late July, 2026, to put the

01:14:31.859 --> 01:14:35.119
barriers and newly delivered planes into use.

01:14:35.840 --> 01:14:40.220
Most major carriers have told the FFA that they

01:14:40.220 --> 01:14:43.699
plan to take advantage of the extension and not

01:14:43.699 --> 01:14:52.380
immediately begin using the barriers. Okay. I

01:14:52.380 --> 01:14:59.319
do too. I do too. Especially after 9 -11, and

01:14:59.319 --> 01:15:04.220
that's why they start developing this. So yeah,

01:15:04.220 --> 01:15:07.539
I think it's a great idea. I'm all for it. All

01:15:07.539 --> 01:15:11.180
for it. Cool. Like I said, I'm sorry to get serious

01:15:11.180 --> 01:15:55.430
on their break of night. Yeah. Sorry, I kind

01:15:55.430 --> 01:15:57.909
of lost my place here for a second I got to talking

01:15:57.909 --> 01:16:03.770
to you about that and Yeah, sorry about that

01:16:03.770 --> 01:16:06.229
here I'll go to this one I guess cuz I can't

01:16:06.229 --> 01:16:08.270
seem to find the one I was gonna tell you about

01:16:08.270 --> 01:16:12.569
All right, no Burke syndrome made a young lady

01:16:12.569 --> 01:16:19.149
croak like a toad when she kissed guys Is bill

01:16:21.819 --> 01:16:29.720
I didn't cross that one a while ago. I did. I

01:16:29.720 --> 01:16:53.100
did. I did too, but that's alright. Toad croaks.

01:16:54.039 --> 01:16:56.920
The young lady in question said she started noticing

01:16:56.920 --> 01:17:00.159
it in fifth grade and it lasted all the way through

01:17:00.159 --> 01:17:03.899
high school. Eventually she started hearing the

01:17:03.899 --> 01:17:07.680
gurgling and croaks most of the time, especially

01:17:07.680 --> 01:17:10.640
when she kissed a guy. So sounds to me like she

01:17:10.640 --> 01:17:14.840
kissed a lot of guys, Rob. Yeah. Yeah. I mean,

01:17:14.840 --> 01:17:17.779
to notice it at that age, I mean, you had been

01:17:17.779 --> 01:17:19.880
playing a lot of fucking console hockey, right?

01:17:21.229 --> 01:17:25.170
Yeah, as I'm saying she also experienced bloating

01:17:25.170 --> 01:17:29.569
heartburn and bouts of vomiting So she was diagnosed

01:17:29.569 --> 01:17:34.390
with acid reflux. So then after years She finally

01:17:34.390 --> 01:17:37.789
went to enough doctors and they determined that

01:17:37.789 --> 01:17:43.630
she definitely That the real problem was this

01:17:43.630 --> 01:17:48.130
No burp syndrome deal that the no burp syndrome

01:17:48.130 --> 01:17:55.270
was her actual diagnosis So she couldn't burp

01:17:55.270 --> 01:17:58.090
because a muscle at the top of her esophagus

01:17:58.090 --> 01:18:01.989
failed to relax properly, impairing the passage

01:18:01.989 --> 01:18:05.970
of air from the esophagus to the pharynx. She

01:18:05.970 --> 01:18:08.949
had an operation to fix this, no burp syndrome,

01:18:09.010 --> 01:18:12.229
and now she can use her mouth all she wishes.

01:18:12.369 --> 01:18:15.430
Take that wherever you want, I don't care. So

01:18:15.430 --> 01:18:34.310
I'm turning it over to Rob. Okay Okay 35 year

01:18:34.310 --> 01:18:37.930
old man shared a surprising story about what

01:18:37.930 --> 01:18:42.329
happened during his recent flight He explained

01:18:42.329 --> 01:18:44.729
he was sitting in the middle of the plane near

01:18:44.729 --> 01:18:48.590
the exit row When a gorgeous woman asked if she

01:18:48.590 --> 01:18:55.670
could take the seat next to him first come first

01:18:55.670 --> 01:19:00.069
served on that airline, he agreed and made space

01:19:00.069 --> 01:19:07.350
for her. Well, of course. Before takeoff, he

01:19:07.350 --> 01:19:10.789
hit it off instantly. He wrote, the woman seemed

01:19:10.789 --> 01:19:13.930
flirty, wasn't wearing a wedding ring, and appeared

01:19:13.930 --> 01:19:31.630
to be traveling alone. During the flight, she

01:19:31.630 --> 01:19:35.670
got closer. He was moving the armrest and putting

01:19:35.670 --> 01:19:39.909
her leg across his. Living, she was single. The

01:19:39.909 --> 01:19:42.770
man asked if she wanted to get drinks in LA.

01:19:44.390 --> 01:19:47.289
Turned out she was staying at the same hotel

01:19:47.289 --> 01:20:08.470
as me. When he walked into the baggage area,

01:20:08.930 --> 01:20:12.630
he saw her again. But this time she was wearing

01:20:12.630 --> 01:20:15.710
a wedding ring and holding hands with a man.

01:20:51.880 --> 01:20:54.560
I'm waiting to see where this goes. Go ahead.

01:20:54.739 --> 01:20:58.619
Oh, that's where it ended. That's where it ended.

01:20:58.979 --> 01:21:01.939
That was it? There's no clarity of what it was

01:21:01.939 --> 01:21:06.479
about or anything? Oh yeah, she was fucking married

01:21:06.479 --> 01:21:09.239
with another man and even at the bar she started

01:21:09.239 --> 01:21:13.960
playing. He was like, fuck you. Jesus, jeez.

01:21:14.800 --> 01:21:18.079
Man, that's bold. I could not ever imagine being

01:21:18.079 --> 01:21:28.750
that bold, could you? I've been like, why me?

01:21:29.090 --> 01:21:32.350
Why didn't you pick someone else? Her husband

01:21:32.350 --> 01:21:36.289
was on the flight the whole time. That's crazy.

01:21:40.130 --> 01:21:42.529
Maybe it's like a little fetish game they had

01:21:42.529 --> 01:21:47.390
or something. You ever think about that? Maybe

01:21:47.390 --> 01:21:50.810
he's like, hey, go out and flirt with these guys

01:21:50.810 --> 01:21:52.829
and come back and give it to Papa. You think

01:21:52.829 --> 01:21:58.340
it might be a deal like that? There's always

01:21:58.340 --> 01:22:03.279
that Could be could be All right. Do you want

01:22:03.279 --> 01:22:05.539
to keep going Rob or I know that you're working

01:22:05.539 --> 01:22:07.319
all this overtime or anything? So I'm asking

01:22:07.319 --> 01:22:13.579
you it's 10 after 9 I Got a little bit more Okay.

01:22:13.579 --> 01:22:21.439
All right All right, sounds good Gary Buzard

01:22:21.439 --> 01:22:26.100
in Van Nuys, California cold told KTLA TV on

01:22:26.100 --> 01:22:28.640
August 13th This is a little bit old, I know.

01:22:28.819 --> 01:22:31.920
I just now got to it. I apologize. That he has

01:22:31.920 --> 01:22:35.279
a mysterious long -running grievance with the

01:22:35.279 --> 01:22:38.380
Los Angeles Police Department. And here's why.

01:22:39.039 --> 01:22:41.640
He's been blasting home alarms and a train horn

01:22:41.640 --> 01:22:44.619
from his house for months. He does this periodically

01:22:44.619 --> 01:22:47.060
several times during the day, said neighbor Bob

01:22:47.060 --> 01:22:51.739
Donovan. It has a range of 3 .5 miles. It's an

01:22:51.739 --> 01:22:55.529
actual train horn. Bizzardon says the horns are

01:22:55.529 --> 01:22:59.510
his way of getting LAPD's attention. I do sincerely

01:22:59.510 --> 01:23:02.329
apologize to my neighbors. He's unclear about

01:23:02.329 --> 01:23:04.630
what kind of help the man needs to solve his

01:23:04.630 --> 01:23:08.970
problem, but they're at wit's end about the noise.

01:23:09.689 --> 01:23:12.050
But maybe a solution is on the way. Bizzardon

01:23:12.050 --> 01:23:15.510
was arrested on August 13th on unknown charges.

01:23:17.510 --> 01:23:21.479
And that's pretty much it. He got arrested. It's

01:23:21.479 --> 01:23:23.359
kind of like your story there. He got arrested.

01:23:24.340 --> 01:23:26.000
And then that's it. It doesn't go into anything

01:23:26.000 --> 01:23:28.060
else. It doesn't say whether he came back out

01:23:28.060 --> 01:23:31.039
and started blasting that train horn again. Yeah,

01:23:31.159 --> 01:23:33.699
it's a good story going into it, but then they

01:23:33.699 --> 01:23:37.159
just dead -ended it. Yeah, and I knew it dead

01:23:37.159 --> 01:23:38.960
-ended it, and I did that because of the story

01:23:38.960 --> 01:23:41.319
you just did. It's like you didn't do the same

01:23:41.319 --> 01:23:44.380
thing. Just, well, that's it. I would have wanted

01:23:44.380 --> 01:23:46.720
to read more, but hey, that's it. That's all

01:23:46.720 --> 01:23:48.659
they gave me, guys. That's all they gave me.

01:23:48.720 --> 01:23:54.149
So, all right. Rob, we turn it to you. Okay,

01:23:54.750 --> 01:23:58.329
a tourist from Hawaii won a big jackpot prize

01:23:58.329 --> 01:24:02.329
at a Las Vegas casino. Uh -huh. The visitor sat

01:24:02.329 --> 01:24:06.390
a Lightning Buffalo Lincoln Super Grand jackpot

01:24:06.390 --> 01:24:10.210
progressive slot machine on Custerians at Virgin

01:24:10.210 --> 01:24:17.869
Hotels. The guest spent $10. It spent and watched

01:24:17.869 --> 01:24:21.279
as the symbols across the screen until a jot

01:24:21.279 --> 01:24:28.720
-not message appeared. The player won $179 ,796

01:24:28.720 --> 01:24:36.760
.66. Oh, wow. Virgin Hotels is just east of Las

01:24:36.760 --> 01:24:39.359
Vegas strip, but that wasn't the only big one

01:24:39.359 --> 01:25:00.920
in Vegas recently. Okay. Wow. Yeah. I'm gonna

01:25:00.920 --> 01:25:03.020
stop right there because the rest of the article

01:25:03.020 --> 01:25:06.359
goes into the gambling addiction. Well, maybe

01:25:06.359 --> 01:25:10.100
I should say that. I'm gonna say it. Go ahead.

01:25:11.119 --> 01:25:13.920
Many people can gamble or play games and chance

01:25:13.920 --> 01:25:16.920
without harm. However, for some, gambling is

01:25:16.920 --> 01:25:19.460
an addiction and can ruin lives and families.

01:25:20.420 --> 01:25:23.520
If you or a loved one shows signs of gambling

01:25:23.520 --> 01:25:34.210
addiction, you could see... or 7 -0 -0 or visiting

01:25:34.210 --> 01:25:37.609
the National Council on Problem Gambling website.

01:25:39.689 --> 01:25:43.350
Rob, thank you. I should probably say that. Yeah,

01:25:43.510 --> 01:25:45.430
honestly, man. If you're going to gamble, be

01:25:45.430 --> 01:25:47.510
responsible. Hey, hey, well, what do I know?

01:25:47.569 --> 01:25:49.949
If we want sponsors, we've got to start getting

01:25:49.949 --> 01:25:52.010
into shit like that. That's right. You're right.

01:25:52.310 --> 01:25:55.029
And we support that, Hunter. That is a big thing.

01:26:13.300 --> 01:26:17.199
Yes, and your rent's paid. Just saying. Rob,

01:26:17.640 --> 01:26:19.079
do you think... Make sure your bills are paid.

01:26:19.399 --> 01:26:22.840
I personally think that that casino's going to

01:26:22.840 --> 01:26:26.899
be put in. What do you think? Yeah, I take it.

01:26:27.439 --> 01:26:29.359
Yeah, it's going to take a little time, but I

01:26:29.359 --> 01:26:32.380
think it will end up... Look, there's going to

01:26:32.380 --> 01:26:34.319
be a lot of lawsuits and stuff like that, and

01:26:34.319 --> 01:26:36.079
there always is. Whenever you want to get something

01:26:36.079 --> 01:26:38.140
done like that, you're going to have to take

01:26:38.140 --> 01:26:41.340
it through the courts, you know, but... And that's

01:26:41.340 --> 01:26:43.319
where they're going. And it's going to be a Native

01:26:43.319 --> 01:26:45.699
American casino, so I don't think there's that

01:26:45.699 --> 01:26:48.659
much at the end of the day that the local government

01:26:48.659 --> 01:26:50.840
or even Missouri government can do that much

01:26:50.840 --> 01:26:57.000
about it. So, you know what? Good luck to them.

01:26:58.340 --> 01:27:01.060
You got time for me to do another story or you

01:27:01.060 --> 01:27:04.039
want to call it? Doesn't matter? No, go ahead

01:27:04.039 --> 01:27:06.319
and do one more and then, yeah, we'll probably

01:27:06.319 --> 01:27:08.960
need to call it after that. Okay. A ground mishap

01:27:08.960 --> 01:27:12.229
at Barnes... Air National Guard Base in Westfield,

01:27:12.289 --> 01:27:15.130
Massachusetts was likely caused by an unnamed

01:27:15.130 --> 01:27:18.069
passenger accidentally triggering an injection

01:27:18.069 --> 01:27:23.189
from inside an F -15D Eagle on August 12th. The

01:27:23.189 --> 01:27:25.909
War Zone reported. After the plane had landed,

01:27:26.010 --> 01:27:28.270
video showed a puff of smoke in the backseat

01:27:28.270 --> 01:27:30.810
passenger crawling along the runway next to the

01:27:30.810 --> 01:27:36.489
aircraft. The canopy landed on the plane's wing.

01:27:36.680 --> 01:27:40.000
The 104th Fighter Wing released a statement saying

01:27:40.000 --> 01:27:42.279
that one service member was taken to a hospital

01:27:42.279 --> 01:27:45.119
for evaluation and the other had no injuries

01:27:45.119 --> 01:27:47.720
when they were accidentally ejected due to their

01:27:47.720 --> 01:27:49.739
own dumb fuckery, but it didn't say that, but

01:27:49.739 --> 01:27:51.420
that's what happened. They hit the wrong button

01:27:51.420 --> 01:27:56.039
and they injected, they injected themselves out

01:27:56.039 --> 01:28:03.619
of that F -15D. And there we saw the cloud of

01:28:03.619 --> 01:28:06.319
smoke. and then they saw was these two gentlemen

01:28:06.319 --> 01:28:12.600
crawling on the ground next to the plane so yeah

01:28:12.600 --> 01:28:14.640
they're probably lucky the plane didn't run them

01:28:14.640 --> 01:28:19.399
over honestly probably yeah so all right i guess

01:28:19.399 --> 01:28:22.340
that's going to be it for this uh this episode

01:28:22.340 --> 01:28:26.979
um hi albuquerque hi grandma opal hi jimmy give

01:28:26.979 --> 01:28:28.880
us an update when you get a chance jimmy how

01:28:28.880 --> 01:28:31.979
is grandma opal how are you we want to know this

01:28:31.979 --> 01:28:34.500
stuff Anyhow, thank you everybody for listening.

01:28:34.560 --> 01:28:39.279
Good night, assholes. Hi, Grandma Opal. Hi, Jimmy.

01:28:39.460 --> 01:28:44.079
Hi, Albuquerque. Hi, what was it, Higginsville?

01:28:44.720 --> 01:28:46.939
Oh, shit! Hicksville? Hicksville! Hicksville!

01:28:46.939 --> 01:28:48.920
Hicksville! Hi, Hicksville, New York. Sorry,

01:28:48.960 --> 01:28:54.239
thank you, Rob. Yeah. And more importantly, hi,

01:28:54.260 --> 01:28:58.720
Princess. I haven't met you yet, but hi, Princess.

01:28:58.819 --> 01:29:01.100
Gotta throw that in. Alright, that sounds good.

01:29:01.680 --> 01:29:04.659
Alright. Um, everybody, thank you, have a good

01:29:04.659 --> 01:29:10.739
night. Good night, assholes. Oh, no. Looks like

01:29:10.739 --> 01:29:14.180
the show's over, kids. Mark has explosive diarrhea

01:29:14.180 --> 01:29:17.939
and can't afford a wireless mic. Fear not, assholes.

01:29:18.060 --> 01:29:20.279
They'll be back invading your ear holes soon.