Hey, guess what? You just landed on the sports
bastards. Sorry about your luck. Well, since
the sports show can't be called two douchebags
with a microphone, maybe we could just call them
the sports bastards. Yes, it's true. Mark is
an old bastard. It's also true that Mark uses
a lot of ibuprofen. But Mark would like to tell
you, if you see any pictures of improved ibuprofen,
it's obviously fake, and you're to take the pictures
and tear them up immediately. Two douchebags
and a microphone. The only podcast with gusto.
That's right. Just like Schlitz beer. Google
it. Sir, I see your qualifications here. I have
some further questions that could help me determine
your employment eligibility. Yes, sir. I'm ready.
Well, as you can see here, we have a large population
of different ethnic backgrounds, sexuality, and
ages. Are you by chance bilingual? Well, sir,
I'm not sure why you need that kind of information,
but, well, it was only one time in summer camp.
I considered it experimental. We are now. The
Sports Bastards. We're back. That's right. Even
though you guys set up all those protests. Roadblocks.
Yeah. Boycotts. The vomitorium ones, too. Yeah,
yeah. That was good. That was actually pretty
good. Yeah, that was. I mean, they got pretty
inventive on spewing the vomit. Yes, they did.
They reached us pretty well. I mean, we did have
to change three times. We were in the splash
zone for sure. We were. I got a chunk of ham
in my eye. It was horrible. Let's hope it was
ham. I think it was. I don't know. It might have
been the end of somebody's finger. Who knows?
Could have been. That would have made it more
interesting. So, anyhow, here we are. Kickoff
to the NFL is one day away. It's just about to
start. Yeah. It's amazing. Yes. Yeah, once again,
here it is upon us. Yep. So before we go on to
anything else, do you have any surprises in the
NFL? Yeah. One of my surprises is that the Cowboys
traded Micah Parsons to the Green Bay Packers
of all teams. That was pretty surprising. Brian
Schottenheimer is probably like, yeah, finally
got that big man's gig. Oh, hell yeah. And then
he's walking out to his car and someone goes,
what do you think about the Parsons train? Yeah,
no. What do you mean? Yeah, Jerry Jones is trading
for a set of luggage and some tickets to Florida.
And a case of beer. And a case of beer. Bo's
had Hulk Hogan beer. He's had All -American beer.
Oh, yeah, yeah. Well, somebody in the new Madden
football game tried to recreate that trade between
Green Bay and Cowboys, and the Cowboys rejected
it as not being enough value. But in real life,
it was apparently enough value. In real life,
that's fine. Jerry Jones is like, get off my
lawn. Okay, I'll do it. Damn. Brian John Imer's
like, okay, thanks for sabotaging my career.
And, you know, it's not only trading the player,
and it's not only trading it to Green Bay, but
it's also the timing of you wait until the last
second. The timing, because like you said, and
I didn't read this, I didn't know this before,
so now I see a little insight to it, but the
timing is still so odd. But you said, like, the
people said they didn't really, you know, the
players said they didn't really miss him. He
wasn't that nice a guy. Yeah, now that he's gone
out of the Cowboys locker room, a lot of the
players are... complimenting his abilities on
the field but saying as a human being they aren't
going to miss him the least little bit. That
could probably have a part of it, yeah. If I
was Brian Schoenheimer, I would go get a plaster
caster of my balls. I would put them in a jar
and I would leave them on Jerry Jones' desk and
I'd say, don't fucking touch them. Don't ever
touch them. That would be really good. Otherwise,
I'll be back for you, bitch. Oh, gosh. Yeah,
yeah. He neutered him before he even had a chance
to fucking breed. Yeah. Cut his nuts off. Just
like, no, no more. I don't know if Brian Schottenhofer
has kids or not. This is a metaphor. I guess
there's always sperm banks. Yeah, this is true.
Now that he doesn't have nuts, he might have
to do the rent -a -swimmer. Yeah, rent -a -swimmer.
Hey, we got some pretty violent little fuckers
here. You want them? They're fist -fighting each
other. They're trying to climb out of the vial.
One of them slapped me. All right, put him in.
So, you got something you want to go into? Or
we got bullet points? We got anything. Let's
see. I was also interested to see the Tyree kill
for the first time as a dolphin is not selected
as captain. You know what? I think he kind of
earned that not being a captain right, didn't
he? I think he did, yeah. A captain is supposed
to be helping the team, not detrimental. Definitely
a leader. You know, someone with ideas, plans,
goals, motivation, and he's more like, what can
everyone do for me? His immaturity would indicate
like he would not be someone you want orchestrating
a ditch digging, let alone being the captain
of a football team. And also, it's going to be
interesting to see because it's been my experiences
from what I've seen, and probably you too, you
let me know, but whenever they start having more
to say with their mouth and less with their body,
that's what you're going to get in play. I think
they sense that they're slipping, and the only
thing they've got left is their mouth. And I
don't think it's even a conscious decision. No,
it isn't. They just start compensating by talking
themselves up real big, but they're just digging
a bigger hole every time they have to go out
and show what they can do. It's like when the
bully gets his ass whipped. Oh, I slipped. It
was wet out there. Remember when Mike Tyson got
his ass whipped for the first time? Buster Douglas
smacked him around. Yeah, I remember that. That
was shocking. He was saying all different kinds
of stuff, too, like that, too. The sun was in
my eyes. And I thought it was next week. Yeah.
I have this hangnail. It's horrible. My fucking
gingivitis gets me every time I'm trying to fight.
And I got pink eye. And an ear infection. Oh,
gosh. Okay. Anyhow. All right. Former Chiefs
D -tackle Mike Pinnell has been signed by the
Bengals. Not only signed, but they plan to start
him. Signing him this late, and he's already
number one on the depth chart. that would indicate
to me they have some issues there. Yeah, that's
exactly the first thing I thought of. It's like,
wow, you picked somebody off the curb. I mean,
the guy's good. No, he is good, but he's not.
You pick him up, he doesn't know the system,
doesn't know the playbook. It's like, yeah, he
already announced he's starting week one. You
see, that's the part that gets me. I could see
him picking him up, information. Oh, yeah, these
guys are thorn in our side, has been for a long
time. What can you tell us, you know? but making
him a starter would indicate to me desperation,
not trying to get information. Yeah, yeah. And
I think they released that for the hometown fans
as a way of saying, look, we're trying. We're
still trying. We're getting better. Spin control.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just kind of an awkward
thing for the Bengals altogether. Yeah, and they
re -signed Hendrickson for an enormous amount,
which is going to hurt them even more, which
I'm all about. I don't have a problem with that.
It's not like I care about Cincinnati at least.
Let me hit the pause button for a second. All
right, now that that truck's gone and we got
our coffees, here we go. The wonders of editing.
Yes. We will intentionally blow yours out at
some point, but we spared you just then. Yes.
We prefer to blow your ears out with pure dribble
and nonsense. Yeah. We feel we do that very well.
Or when we say playoffs, really loud. Come on,
everyone take a shot. We just said playoffs.
Playoffs. There's another one. All right, so
far we're up to three shots. There you go. Your
money's working with this game. That's true.
That's true. You got something? Yeah, let's see.
Bills de -tackled Dwayne Carter out for the season
with Achilles. Another Achilles injury. Oh, I
didn't see that. Yeah. Oh, boy. Yeah. That's
a defensive tackle. D -tackle, yep. They were
definitely going to lean on him a bit this year.
But, man, what is it with Achilles and all these
players? We need to look into the turf. There's
something, yes. It would have to be because Achilles
is at tendon. It tends to snap. It's when the
leg moves but the foot doesn't. But the foot
doesn't. So I would say something about that
or maybe even the cleats. Yeah, true, true. I
understand they want these ones that dig in.
They don't want to slip. But maybe they have
two. Yeah, maybe like restrictor plates in auto
racing. It's like you can have cleats, but quarter
inch, that's it. Yeah. And if you start slipping,
oh well, so is the other team. Yeah. Protect
their bodies, protect their legs, make sure they
can keep playing the game because look at the
enormous amount of money and effort spent to
get those players to that point. And then you're
going to cheap out on the turf and the rules.
Let some future superstar blow out a leg and
then the other leg and then the first leg again.
It's like the waste, the waste of it all. Oh,
it is. And injuries are a part of it. Yeah. I
mean, Kansas City, I mean, right off the bat,
we're losing Rashi Rice for six games. Yeah.
You know? You have to compensate for these. We
lost Deion Bush for the season. Oh, yeah, yeah.
That's a better example. I forgot about that.
We lost Deion Bush. Yeah. And believe me, we
could have used him. Yep. So, yeah, it's a part
of the game. They have to compensate and they
have to figure this out. You know, I also like
what Spagnuolo said, I think, yesterday. He said,
you don't really know what you have until you're
actually playing the game. Yeah, especially when
you're in adverse conditions. That's when you
kind of see the true character of your team as
a whole and the players as individuals. It's
a good thing. Yeah, so it's going to be interesting.
I'm sure by now they've compensated for Bush,
but it's something that we would have more depth
at if nothing else. I also read that the Pats
have released safety Jabril Peppers after they
signed him into big contract. Oh, that was him?
He turned 30. That's apparently a big sin in
New England. The last couple years, they've been
on the youth movement. As you hit 30 or pass
30, they've been dealing players just like Belichick
used to. I don't know why someone wouldn't pick
him up for nothing. Oh, yeah. And, you know,
he's a safety. And who did we lose for the season?
A safety. If nothing else, you've got a body
there if you move one. Yeah. I mean, it's not
someone you can stick on the practice squad,
but you can move somebody there and stick them
on the roster. Yeah. We'll see what they do because
I do have a lot of faith in Brett Veach and company,
of course. I don't understand the system completely,
but there's waivers that he has to pass through,
so teams in order will get a chance to claim
him, and he might be gone by the time the Chiefs
get a chance at him. Probably will. We shall
see. Probably. Anyhow. And Mel Kiper Jr. has
already released his 2026 draft predictions.
Can you believe that? I can believe it, but it's
ridiculous. Well, the fortunate thing is no one
is paying attention to him because he's a useless
has -been. and never knew what he was talking
about anyway, and his hair style is really stupid.
Yes. I don't know how he ever got popular. It's
beyond me. I started glancing through his predictions,
and he's predicting things like how many quarterbacks
will be taken in the first round. How about who
gives a fuck? It looks to me like a betting guide
for next year's draft. That's pretty much it.
That's basically what it is, because he's not
saying specific people. Who pays him? ESPN, I
think. ESPN pays him. He was their main guy for
a while. I'm not sure. Maybe he's solo. Maybe
he's got some other affiliations. So they let
all this real talent go and kept him. He's probably
cheap. He's probably paying them. He sits at
home with his magic eight ball, shakes it, and
looks on the back. Okay. It says definitely.
Okay. Oh, this one says ask later. God, that
popped up and I thought, useless has -been. Has
-been, but I mean, can they be a has -been if
they never were? Technically not. He's not a,
so he'd be a never was. He's a never was, yeah.
Yeah, he's a never was, but like three people
thought he was, something like that. Yeah, insane.
And didn't he like rise to prominence right after
that racist Jimmy the Greek was fired? I think
so. I think he was like the answer. They wanted
anybody but the racist. Mel Kuyper was bland.
He was boring. He was non -confrontational. He
wasn't going to rile anybody. Yeah, he was kind
of the safe, easy choice after Jimmy the Greek.
Yeah, and was Jimmy Greek even? I was wondering
about that. Was he actually Greek or was he lying
about that too? I think he was lying about that.
I thought I read something that said he's not
actually even Greek. And it's like, what the
fuck? Remember those old litter commercials that
showed the Native American with a single tear
going down his face? Yeah, that guy was not Native
American. No, that guy was Latino. I know. He
was a Latino. But he played the part rather well.
Well, okay, hey, he's half. Well, yeah, that's
true. Like in Aliens 2, the short Hispanic girl
with the gigantic machine gun, Vasquez. Vasquez,
yeah. Yeah, she was a nice, pale -skinned, blonde
Jewish girl. And they browned her right up for
that role. Now, she does have some Hispanic ancestry.
Oh, okay. But she's a blonde -haired Jewish girl.
I'm just baffled why they would go through all
that when they could just go find someone. Well,
maybe she did sexual favors for somebody. That
was it. Yep, that was it. The Hispanic chick
wouldn't. They're like, okay, get her. Craziness.
So after that, I've just got some stories. So
do you want to go into bullet points or go into
my stories or whatever you want? Let's go ahead
and go into some bullet points. Yes. And then
we'll go into some stories. Take my glasses off
and drink some coffee while you bullet me. Okay,
that sounds good. And then at some point, let's
pick out the key games for this week and give
a prediction. Good idea. Okay. How far will the
NFL go to move games overseas? Wow, I really
don't know that they're going to stop it much.
I think they're going full force on this. I think
you're going to see at least 10, if not more,
games per year overseas. I just thought of something.
I doubt they're going to put any international
games in countries where local people won't really
have a shot at playing. Like you go to a country
where people are generally fairly small, like
Japan possibly, or Vietnam, I don't think you're
going to get a lot of local talent. who's got
a shot at the NFL. Yeah, I agree. I agree. So
they might stay out of countries like that or
like... Unless they can figure out they can kick
or something. Yeah. I know Australia supplies
a lot of place kickers for the NFL, but imagine
the logistics of putting a team there and having
like... They're not going to, yeah. Over 12 hours
of air travel just to freaking get there. Yeah,
I think they're going to take that into account.
But the U .S. is developing a supersonic airplane
to replace the Concorde. Yeah, that's true. It's
going to get you there in like an hour and a
half. And realistically, a lot of the technology
that we enjoy was invented so people could make
money more. We enjoy using super fast air travel,
but realistically speaking, it's there to make
other people money. Yes, and then the more flights,
like I've always said, the more flights, the
better off you are. Now, wasn't there some controversy
back then that the supersonic flight that high
in the atmosphere was damaging the ozone layer?
That was one of them, and the safety was the
other one. They were really talking about, like,
if one little thing goes wrong, you've got an
airplane full of people that just fucking disintegrates.
Pretty much, yeah. I think the ozone thing was
fixed during Men in Black 2, where they imprisoned
that guy who was siphoning off the air zone.
I think so, yeah. Yeah, so they don't have to
worry about that. Actually, I only heard about
the ozone thing at the very first of it. I never
heard it again, so whether it was true or hyped
up or what, I don't know. Yeah, it really starts
to seem like just a way to get us to abandon
all these long -standing... cheap chemicals that
we had, and now we have to all switch to the
expensive stuff. It was a way to get a huge influx
of cash out of our pockets and into somebody
else's. Well, it's just like that carbon credits
and all that bullshit. Yeah, yeah. No, no. I
want to see them do it first. Imagine having
murder credits. It's like, well, I haven't murdered
anybody this year, so I'm going to sell my murder
credits to somebody else so they can murder.
You definitely watch who you're fucking with.
cutting someone off in traffic and flipping them
off will become a gamble. Yeah, it would be.
Does that guy look like he has any murder credits?
I better leave him alone. All right. Does Skippy
Ballas believe anything he spews from his enormous
eye hole? I can't see any possible way where
he believes anything he's saying. It's just...
whatever he needs to do to keep his career going,
and he doesn't believe a word of it, he'll say
and do anything to get attention. That's pretty
much who he is, and I don't understand how people
can be attracted to that and want to watch it
and want to see it, but, yeah. I guess there's
enough people who like it, but to me, he's just,
it's like the worst overacting job ever. Yes.
And the play is a piece of shit, too. You know?
It's a play you don't want to see in the first
place. Yes. And second, it's overacting and just
stupidity at its finest. Yeah, yeah. That's really
how I look at a lot of these, you know, big loud
mouths on TV or social media. It's like, I know
what you're there for, and I just really don't
want to participate. The first one I ever noticed,
I mean, besides the obvious, yeah, Howard Cosell,
he could be a blabbermouth. Oh, yeah. All of
them could. I mean... Who was Dan Deardorff.
All of them could be Loudmouths. Even Joe Madden.
All of them could be Loudmouths. Joe Namath was
a Loudmouth. Oh, shuck. A drunken Loudmouth.
Yeah, he was. That really wants to kiss someone
on the sideline. Who was that? Was that Aaron
Andrews? No, no, it was not Aaron Andrews. Was
that Susie Colbert? Yeah, I think so. Yeah, I
remember she was tiny. Yes, and she was very,
very... What would you say? Disgusted? Yeah.
She's diplomatic. She's like, oh, okay, thanks,
Joel. I'll take that as a compliment. Yeah, as
she stood further back. Yeah. It's like, you
can't see, but, you know, behind my back, he's
got his thumb up my butthole already, so we need
to get this drunk guy away from here. It's like
a creepy old man alert. Yes, yes. It's the same
alert that goes off every time David Lee Roth
walks in the room. With his little thimble dick.
Have you seen the comments? Oh, my gosh. Hung
like P. Diddy. Oh, my God, yeah. A little fucking
tan, little beige tootsie roll. No, they show
those tight pants that he's in, the spandex.
And there's, like, circles showing his little
thimble. Oh, my God. There was a time, I think...
I have a question about DLR on the music one.
Anyhow, go ahead. I remember my wife went to
see Aerosmith, and she was looking at this pale
patch that was on Steven Tyler's pants. She gets
like, that's a weird irregular patch and it's
kind of wrinkly and weird looking. She realizes
there's a hole in his pants and she was seeing
his skin. It's this nasty, pale, wrinkled up
old man skin. She's like, I don't want to see
that. She lost any attraction to Steven Tyler
at that moment. I still find it amazing that
women found him attractive. Yeah, that's a little
odd. Three quarters of his face is mouth. Yeah.
Yeah, and it's because the other quarters shrink
up. Yeah. But anyhow, he has charisma, so I guess,
yeah, whatever. But if he was broke and panhandling
on the street, 90 % of those women wouldn't give
him a second look. No, no. The money and the
fame is a big attractant. Yeah, yep. But he's
got the, hey, yeah, whoo! And when he loses that,
he'll be nothing. He's got nothing. Yeah, so
save your money, Steven. Yeah, yes. He blew it
all on drugs last time. Oh, yeah, yeah, so did
Joe Perry, too, evidently. Everybody in the band
just pretty much lost every penny they ever made
in the 80s and the 70s. And if it wasn't for
Run DMC, I don't know if they would have ever
made it back. I don't think so. Yeah. Yeah. Run
DMC brought back Walk This Way, and Steven Tyler's
screaming at the end of it, got everybody's attention,
like, oh, my God, who is that screaming? Yes.
And they're like, well, that's that guy from
Aerosmith. Oh, you mean like the Toys in the
Attic Aerosmith? Yeah, yeah, those guys. They're
not dead? That was a big shot. Yeah, then they
reformed, and they came out with Permanent Vacation,
which was a great album. Desmond Child had a
lot to do with that album. He was writing a lot
of hits for it, and they did very well. So a
little preview of the music creeps. Oh, yeah.
Hang on. What are we doing here? There's a lot
of bleed through on this show. Yeah, there is.
We can't help it. We're music creeps even though
we're bastards. And we're undisciplined. Yes,
we are. That's the big part. Yeah. And this is
why people won't get near us. They're like, we
like the idea of the show, but it's you two.
Yeah. What do you mean us two? We keep inviting
people down here to join in or stand around and
watch. It's like nobody ever comes. We think
the douchebag idea is great, but it's just you
two. Yeah. What do you mean? You two are on it.
What do you mean by that? Yeah, if you guys would
shut up and put someone else there. All right,
on to the next. Will Shador Sanders be successful
in the NFL? I think he will. I'm hoping he's
going to get in this season. I would really like
to see him. Let's see. He has Joe Flacco. Joe
Flacco and Dylan Gabriel ahead of him. Yeah.
And then what's his nuts? Is he still out there
getting massages or something? Oh, yeah. He's
on the pup list, I think. Yeah, yep. But, you
know, I'd hate to say I want Shadur Sanders to
start because that means somebody else gets injured.
But I want to see him brought into a game. at
some point during some game and really see what
he can do against another team's number ones.
Yeah, I would like to see that too. And there
is going to be your answer right there. You're
going to know in a quarter if he's got it or
not because that's just the way the NFL is geared.
Pretty much, yeah. You put Mahomes in there and
in one quarter everyone knew that was the heir
apparent, that was the guy. Josh Allen, you put
him in there, one quarter you knew it was the
guy. I'm old enough to remember when you would
groom a quarterback for sometimes up to three
years before you started. Oh, that was the Schottenheimer
way. That was Marty's way. Put Matt Blunden behind
all these guys. Never did work. Nope. Matt Blunden
was gone in a year and a half. He was a high
draft choice. Not like first round or nothing.
I think he's like third round. Big guy. Could
throw a really tight spiral. Even if he ever
could have done it, by that third year with the
different coaches and the different quarterbacks,
no, that was it. Pretty much. All righty. Will
we see the Chiefs back in the Super Bowl? This
year? Yeah. Yeah. I think so, too. I really do.
It's hard to vote against them when they've been
doing it so consistently and they're not significantly
worse than last year. They're better in a number
of areas. They really are. Josh Simmons, if he
keeps up like he is. Yeah. Really nice to have
him on that line. Yeah. Definitely nice. If you
allow Mahomes' legs, which Josh Simmons would,
and you have the running game on the left side
and you have Mahomes on the right or anywhere
else, that's what is the key. People don't look
at it like that, but it really is. Once Mahomes
gets in the flats and he starts getting eight
yards at a time, then you have to guard against
that too. Yeah. So then when you do that, you're
taking another person out of the backfield and
putting them as a spy. So Josh Simmons, if he
can shore up that line like it looks like he
is, then you're going to have a Mahomes that
can either flip the ball off to a Pacheco or
a Hunt. Did Mitchell make the team? Yes. Or Mitchell,
one of those three fine backs. Or he has the
option of taking it himself. or he has the option
of splitting down the middle with a Travis Kelsey,
who's supposed to be in the best shape he's been
in years. I can believe that. Yeah. You have
a Noah Gray, who we'll go into more later, who
is an upcoming and really, really good himself.
Yeah, yeah. I've been watching him for a few
years. Yeah, and then you have the Hollywood
Browns and the Worthies and the Jujus, the Thorntons.
I guess Royals is hurt. Yeah, not too much. Yeah,
I hope he comes back soon. While Rice is going,
I want to see what Royals can do. Because he's
one of those guys I have my eye on all year going,
you know, not there, not there. But that guy
shows that little fire, that little flame that
you're looking at going, like Thornton does too.
It's like, wait a minute, that guy right there
seems like he's very capable and he's catching
on a little bit more every game. You give someone
like that six games. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah,
it would have been really nice if he could have
seen a lot of action while Rice was out. So let's
hope this injury gets resolved quickly. Yeah,
I would love to see Royals in there. But I think
Thornton is going to need a lot of work. I think
so, too. And I think you're going to see him
make some key catches, too. All right. After
Kelsey retires, will Mahomes help develop another
superstar tight end? I don't know. I think so.
He's a receiver guy, but I think there's always
going to be that guy in the middle going, I'm
right here. Everybody's over there. Yeah, I mean,
I personally like to see the tight end used in
the passing game a lot. I think it opens up the
field so much. I think that's one of the things
that we're missing in the Super Bowl so desperately.
But, you know, Travis Kelsey did admit that he
was distracted, which still fucking bothers me.
I don't like that at all. He lied to everybody
last year. Oh, no, no, no. I'm into it. And then
he goes, I was distracted last year. Well, thanks
for fucking up the Super Bowl. I know. Why don't
you go out then? If you're not doing it, then
let Gray do it. Let someone else do it, but don't
take up that fucking space. Peyton Manning did
the same thing when he was playing in Denver.
I think it was a playoff game. Playoffs. He knew
he wasn't able to go. And he knew he wasn't going
to be able to play well. He didn't want the backup
quarterback to come in. Osweiler. Osweiler, yeah.
And he thought, well, I don't want to sit out
this game. I want to play in this game. This
game is important to me. I, me, what I want.
Nobody else, I know. This is good for me. So
he lied to the coaches and the training staff
about his condition, played in the game, stunk
it up, and they lost. And then admitted later,
yeah, I really shouldn't have been playing. Well,
thanks for being a selfish prick. Yeah, you're
not a team player. I'm sorry. And this goes to
Travis Kelsey. But everyone in Denver still loved
him. And everybody here seems to be like, oh,
yeah, yeah, he couldn't help but be distracted.
And he couldn't help but lie to everybody. He
couldn't help but help fuck up the Super Bowl.
That guy was nonexistent. Well, you know what
I've noticed in a lot of people is they are okay
with the lie. because that's what they would
do, too, if they were trying to hide something.
It's like, you know, your kid steals a car and
brings it home and says, Dad, I stole this car,
and you help him go dump it, and the police come
by and say, Did your son steal a car and bring
it here? And you say, No, he didn't do nothing.
And people go, Well, yeah, of course they would
lie. Of course you lie to protect your kids.
No, you have the option of saying, Yeah, he did.
He needs to pay for what he did. Actually, the
smart ones do. They go, you know what, do what
you got to do with them, man. He's going to be
mowing a lot of lawns paying for legal. It's
kind of that attitude of, well, yeah, if I were
in that situation, I'd lie too, so I'm okay with
them lying. Ew. You know what, I suppose you're
right on that, and that sucks. That's why people
get such enormous payouts in lawsuits. It's because
people think, hey, if I'm ever here, I'd like
an enormous payout. Yeah, yeah, you're right.
Oh, well. Yep, all right. Will Noah Gray be that
superstar or close to it? I think he'll be close
to it. I think so, too. Referentially, for me,
I'd like to see them, instead of having one standout
tight end, have two that are really good. And
when they're both on the field, you have no clue
who they're going to throw to. When Kelsey's
on the field, the other team knows, okay, 75
% of the time, if he's open over the middle,
he's getting the ball. But you've got two tight
ends in there that could be either one of them,
could be the guy streaking downfield. Could be
the guy who's the dump off. It just, if you've
got the team focusing on a certain player, I
would throw elsewhere. I would too. But it's
so much better to have them not focusing on any
player and then every receiver is open or viable
or a possibility. I wonder how hard it would
be to switch a receiver to a tight end position.
It's happened. I mean, it's happened before.
It makes me wonder if Kelsey is really on the
decline that much, if they're not going to think
about making adjustments in the season. Take
him out of the blocking game and put him in on
passing downs? Yes, that's what I'm thinking.
Why not? Yeah, it'll do him good too. It'll be
a tip -off that it's a passing down, but hell,
last season you could tell by the left tackle's
foot. Whether it was going to be a pass or not.
The foot was back. It was a passing play. If
the feet were up, it was a run. Yeah, he's still
on the team, isn't he? I think he is. Yeah. I
don't know how much playing time he's going to
get. Kingsley Suamataia. He's coming along. The
one that they wouldn't put in under any circumstances
last season. Yeah. He's getting some playing
time now. He is. So he's definitely fitting the
mold better. And I don't know whether they're
trying to get 76. What the hell was his name?
I don't know. Tackle? Yeah, they're trying to
see if he was going to get better, I think. Anyhow,
it doesn't matter. Oh, yeah. Okay, yeah, there
was Jawan Taylor was 74. Jawan Taylor is who
I'm thinking of. Yeah, he was 74. And then 76
was, I can't remember him, but the other tackle
was. Having troubles last season, too. Yeah,
both of them were, 74 and 76, yeah. And I kind
of felt like they kept some people out because
they wanted them to learn the system better.
Yeah. And then if it just didn't work, then,
you know. Move along. And that's where we are
today. Yeah. So, all right. Will the Bengals
bounce back and make it to the championship game
this season? You know, I'm starting to doubt
that. Me too. I thought I was on the Bengals
tip for a while going, well, we're going to be
seeing them. I'm starting to get some bad feelings
about the Bengals. I mean, the fact that they
had to sign Mike Pinnell last minute and push
him right into the starting lineup means you
got holes still. Well, that Hendrickson thing
too. Spent way too much money on him. And it
was so ugly and so drawn out. It seems to be
like people will resign with Natty. But it's
begrudgingly. Yes. It's not like, hey, I'm on
board like the Chiefs. Everyone's jumping over
each other going, I'm on board. I'm on board.
I'm on board. That's not happening in Cincinnati.
So obviously there's a disconnect somewhere.
Yeah. And look, I would love to see Cincinnati
come in here so we can beat your ass again. Yes.
But so anybody, I seem to get a lot of shit from
Ohio. Okay. I'm telling you the truth. And if
you don't fucking believe it, just look at it
realistically. Nobody jumps over themselves to
play there. They do seem to have a little trouble
there. They've got a long -standing reputation
that the organization is cheap, tight with a
buck. They skimp on a lot of areas. They want
to be in Chicago. Kind of, yeah, yeah. Well,
I kind of got that feeling just by their actions.
They're just kind of like, yeah, we could. Yeah,
I think the— Instead of denying completely, you
know, if you went to Arrowhead and said, We heard
you guys want to move to, shit, let's think of
it, a big town, Columbus, Ohio. Yeah. No, we're
not. It's never going to happen. There is kind
of like a, well, we'll see what happens. Yeah.
I'm sorry. You're going to say something. I got
a feeling that this Bengals ownership. wants
to make more money off the team and they realize
that Cincinnati just isn't big enough or isn't
spending enough or something. That's mostly the
reason the teams move is they talk about, well,
it's the stadium, we need a better stadium. Well,
the stadium is so they can make money. And if
they're not making money in other areas on the
same par as other teams, then they're going to
look at a different city. Chicago is a great
example because it's not that far. and you'll
be the competing team against the Bears, who
definitely have down seasons here and there.
The other choice would be to find a city that
is starved for football, but there's not too
many of those that would be a good football town.
The NFL's pretty good at filling those vacancies.
Yeah, that's how come they're not going crazy
in the U .S. right now, is because I think they
saturated all the markets they think they're
going to be selling out in, and above all. they're
looking at TV revenue more than anything. True,
true. Yeah, they're like, look, well, the Chiefs
have it from mid -Kansas or actually almost to
the border probably, all the way past St. Louis
now, probably, I don't know, maybe mid -Illinois,
up through Iowa, Minnesota, northern Iowa, down
to maybe mid -Oklahoma and Arkansas. Yeah. Okay,
who's going to infringe on that? Unless the team
comes into St. Louis, it's really good. Yeah,
there's really not much of a football town in
that area, to put a team. It's interesting how
the revenue is shifting in the NFL. I think we
talked about it last season on the podcast. At
first it was physical attendance was the big
thing. You want to sell out, sell food, sell
merchandise. Signed them up for season tickets
so you got them locked in as a customer. Then
TV revenue came and blew that out of the water.
And they're like, oh. Yeah, they're like, we
don't care about anything else. This right here.
And I think ever since that happened, I think
that was in the 60s when Phil Rozelle first got,
Pete Rozelle. Phil Rozelle is somebody else,
sorry. Yeah, yeah. Pete Rozelle was the, wasn't
he the one that was behind moving the Rams from,
no, no, the Cardinals. From St. Louis. Yeah.
Yeah. To Arizona. Yeah. But Pete Rozelle got
that first big, giant TV contract. And I think
from that point on, attendance at the games only
was important because it looks good on TV. Exactly.
And then they found a way around that, too. Yes.
They can dub in sound. They can prerecord video.
And they do. And now they're using AI. I mean,
heck, Will Smith is using AI to manufacture crowds
in his music videos. He's denying it, but you
zoom in and it's AI faces all through that crowd.
There's not a single person in attendance. It's
all fantasy. I believe it. So the NFL can do
the exact same thing. They want to sell out.
They want to have you there, have the atmosphere,
sell you food and stuff. But it's really not
that important anymore. I think the big revenue
streams are still any kind of broadcast. It's
not all TV anymore. And then the gambling revenue.
The thing is, is I'm sticking to this. I made
this prediction a couple of years ago. They're
segmenting all of this NFL off on purpose. They're
going to come back and go, you can get it all
on this one platform. It's the NFL app. It's
going to be, I don't know, $40 a month. Other
than that, you're going to have to get Netflix.
You're going to have to get Amazon. You're going
to have to get whatever else they decide to go
to. You're going to have to get all these different.
services. All these entities. All these entities
to catch this game. Or you can go to the NFL
app. And everyone's going to go, I guess I'll
just get the app and I'll just pick the games
I want. Either that or it's going to be pay -per
-play. Oh, you want this game? $4 .99. It's yours.
Yep. And that's the way the video game market
is going. You won't buy games anymore. You'll
just pay monthly to play them oh no i got these
uh i piss people off at work when i say the cd
roms yeah yeah i got these cd roms that uh of
games that don't even work anymore you have to
go to a site to get them you you don't put them
in in your computer your computer is like hey
wait a minute wait a second what are you doing
bringing this model t in here yeah it's like
asking me to read you know hieroglyphics off
of a cave wall or something. Yeah, yeah, or someone
brings me a dead Latin. Yeah. There you go. Well,
you know, another reason why the NFL is... Actually,
I would understand a little bit of that because
a lot of our language is from that. That's true,
that's true. Anyhow, go ahead. Another possible
reason the NFL is spreading themselves out to
all these other different entities is that the
NFL has long been battling anti -trust law. Over
and over it's brought up that the NFL is a monopoly
and needs to be busted up just like the phone
company was busted up and various other companies
who are monopolizing the market. And so far up
till now the NFL has been able to pay off the
right people to get favorable judgments and decisions
or at least delays. But Trump's the kind of guy
who's going to come in and just be the bull in
the china shop yeah and if he feels like it he
could declare the nfl monopoly and say they have
to bust themselves up into parts so the nfl is
is like establishing a foothold on hulu and youtube
and amazon prime and whatever here and there
and if they do have to bust up then they're like
okay our affiliation with amazon prime now becomes
its separate company So we're not a monopoly
anymore because that's a separate company. So
there's a little bit more to it. I can see that
now. I see what you're saying. That's like somebody
saying, you've got too big of a monopoly, so
you send all your kids out to run the different
parts of your company. And when the ax comes
down, they all say, oh, we're an independent
company now, but they're still your kids. Yes.
That's what the NFL is doing, I think, is they're
setting up to where they have somewhere to go
if the government says, you're a monopoly, you
need to go away. So they can just scatter into
pieces but still be the whole and carry on just
like before, but appearance -wise, they won't
look like a Monopoly anymore. True. Okay. That's
what I'd do anyway. You're right. Let's see.
When the Chiefs get the new stadium, will the
tailgate experience be ruined? And I know this
is kind of a... Everybody is used to Arrowhead.
Huge, flat, almost as far as you can see. Yeah.
You've got a couple of interstates in the long
distance, way away. That's part of the appeal.
You go through there and there's hours and hours
of smokers and barbecue smells. People throwing
footballs and frisbees. I think they definitely
want to control all that. Right now it's kind
of grandfathered in, so liability issues aren't
that big a deal. But at a new stadium... Lawsuits
are going to happen. If somebody throws a football
and it bangs into your grill and knocks it over
and burns your little kid's leg, lawsuit. So
they're going to tramp down on all that. And
one of the ways they're going to do that, a lot
of teams are starting to do now, is have designated
tailgate areas. With their own vendors, right?
With their own vendors, and they have stuff set
up, and you have to pay a season charge in order
to use it. Like Cleveland's what? Yeah, $20 ,000.
They want $20 ,000 for one season's worth of
access to the tailgating area. I'm glad you're
answering this like this because this is what
I'm getting at. This is the future of tailgating.
They're monetizing everything. Anything they're
not making money on now, they're going to find
a way to charge you for and restrict it and control
it. You know, before, I would have said that
Kansas City would never do that. No, you give
them a couple of hickory and oak logs and a brisket.
and the flat feet, and that's what happens. If
you do anything else, they probably just say,
no, you know what, we're going to go watch a
game at my home. I've got a huge TV in the backyard,
and I'm grilling right now. Anymore, I think
they've gotten us used to this kind of thing.
Yeah, I think if people are just being like,
you know what, I really want to tailgate anyhow.
I think there's enough people. that aren't the
original fans that didn't grow up doing this
to where they'll jump on that and go, you mean
just $20 ,000 and I can be there every week?
It's like the wannabes buying Harleys. Yes, yeah,
yeah, yeah. They don't know anything about the
history or the culture or the whole identity
of Harley -Davidson. They just know it looks
cool if they buy one and ride it around. Yeah,
yeah. I was talking about that, about... You
know how everything's Aussie right now because
the algorithms, because he passed away and people
never listened to him. I was joking around about
all the vets and all the Harleys in Johnson County
are going to be cranking Aussie. Yes. And then
you go up there and you ask them what album that's
off of and they don't know. You hit them in the
balls. Yeah. It's a new version of virtue signaling.
It is. To buy a Harley or a vet and then blast.
You know, the late great Aussie from it, so people
will look at you and admire you. Yes. Okay. If
that's the way you want to spend your time and
money, go for it. I got a great example, and
I believe it happened in most every market. Okay.
When Arbitron sold out or whatever they did to
Nelson. Yeah. Okay, Nelson came out with a personal
people meter, which guaranteed what they were
listening to instead of what people said they
were listening to. Yeah. There were huge shakeups
in the market. Yep. Especially like Morning Drive.
Everyone's going, yeah, I listened to that bad
boy on 103 .7. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. X25. You
know. And they didn't. Yep. They're listening
to the Easy Listening Station, but they say that
to the person they're answering. Because they
want to sound cool. Yes. Yeah. So in other words,
and I'm not saying this would happen, Johnny
did very well in this market, and he'll probably
be back in this market, but you get somebody
from Johnson County going, oh, I listened to
Johnny Darryl all the way. And then they have
the personal people meter, he's listening to
Mix 93. Yes. So instead of hearing about Tart
or T -Bone getting his fucking penis tattooed.
He was hearing something about a free wedding
dress. Yes, the safe for work radio. Yeah, yes.
Yeah, the stuff you hear in the auto body shop.
Yeah. When you're in there trying to get your
car back. In the dentist office. Yeah, yeah.
And then they're like laughing all over themselves.
Oh, it's 42 degrees. Oh, God. Oh, you're such
a card. So anyhow, all right. Will the new stadium
care one ounce of shit, I just added this, about
the tradition and figure out an exceptional tailgating
experience, or do you think that they're just
going to go, this is what it is, take it or leave
it? Yeah, they're going to do the this is what
it is because enough people will go along with
it, and the ones that don't want to will be quickly
replaced by the ones who just don't care. I'll
put it like this. I did a little segment about
how people will pay money. to get into the airport
to pay five times as much for food, drinks, and
souvenirs. You can buy that day pass so you can
go overspend to the airport shops. Yeah, go to
Meet Mitch Barbecue in there. Instead of going
to One in Olathe or Overland Park, whatever it
is, Leawood, wherever the fuck it is, somewhere
in there in Johnson County, instead of going
there, you can go to the airport and spend three
times as much. You know, 20, 30 years ago. People
in the marketing would have never believed that
people would pay extra so they could get into
a place to pay extra. But here they are. Well,
this is generations of dumbing down. Yeah, yeah.
They'd rather have the status and the appearance
and they don't care what it costs. We're past
idiocracy now. We're somewhere else. Yeah, I
think people would be like... They said that
this is really cool, and I should just go ahead
and buy it at $20 ,000. Yeah, there's a whole
enormous segment of people who think saving for
the future is stupid, and they're just not going
to. And then when you get to the point where
they're too weak or sick or old to work anymore,
we're going to have a massive influx of homeless
people. And they're all going to be like 65,
70 years old with medical problems, and they're
just going to be choking the street, and they're
like, where's my on -demand? How come I don't
get my own demand? Yeah. Well, that was the drug
they used on you to get you stupid. Yep. And
it worked. To get you to spend every bit of your
paycheck before you get your next one. And you
know why they're not worried about you now? You
don't have any capital. You're not buying shit.
So you can go. Just get out of their face. They
don't need you. The old expression is like, everybody
loves you when you're holding. It's the same
thing as when you got cash to spend. They all
love you when you've got cash to spend, but if
you don't, fuck you. Yes. Yep. Yep. It's just
like Vegas when they quit. They're like 70 %
entertainment and attractions now and not gamblers.
Yep. Those old gamblers used to come in and be
treated like royalty because they were spending
all this money. Now they don't care. They're
just like, no, we don't care how much you spend.
You're not getting a free room. You're not getting
food. Get out of here. Because they know somebody
else will accept those terms. Exactly. Yep. All
right, and then finally, will the Chiefs be a
contender even when Andy Reid retires if Mahomes
is still playing? Ooh, that's kind of a tough
one. I'm tempted to say yeah for at least a year
or so, a year or two. I think Mahomes is good
enough in his role of coaching to coach a team
up to about any level that he wanted it to. Now,
a lot of this is going to depend if we still
have Brett Veach. Yeah. We still have Mark Donovan.
We still have people in the key areas. True,
true. We still have the key people there. To
keep building and keep this going. Yes, and I
think we're going to be close. I think that Reed
adds that certain little savoir -faire. I mean,
what would you call it? Je ne sais quoi. Yes,
yeah. Which is French for I don't know what.
Yeah, I don't know what. They have that certain...
I don't know what. Jenna Sequa. Yeah. So, he
adds that. Yeah. So, whether you have a team
that makes it well into the playoffs or Super
Bowl, I think is contingent. Another drink? Yeah.
Is contingent on who is doing it. Yeah. Who is
at the helm. But I think that you'll always see
somewhat of a contender with Mahomes and Veach
and Donovan maybe, you know. I'm flashing back
to about. 50, 55 years ago when the Chiefs were
coming off their first Super Bowl victory in
Super Bowl IV against the Vikings. And our coach
was Hank Stram. And Lenny the Cool was already
a fairly old quarterback at that point. Because
that was 71. He came into the league in like
56, 57. Something like that, yeah. So he wasn't
a young man when he was here on the Chiefs. No,
we got him from Texas. He came with the team.
Yeah, before that, I think he was either a Steeler
and or a Brown. A Brown, I'm pretty... Yeah,
because they were both still in the old NFL.
Yeah. But when Hank Stram won the Super Bowl
with that team, he just fell in love with all
those guys and never wanted to change. Yeah.
And he kept everybody on that team, even though
they couldn't do it anymore. And they were getting
old, and they were getting slower. Lenny was
getting killed behind the line all the time,
but he just couldn't emotionally handle firing
these guys that he loved so dearly. This team
is not like that. They're going to keep moving.
He's like, we love you, Patrick. We love you,
Travis. We love you, all these guys, but we're
going to move on when we need to move on. They
loved Justin Reed for three years, and then they
said goodbye. They loved Neil Smith back in the
90s, and then they said goodbye. Yeah. That's
the way you do it now. Who's the all -pro we
traded to Tennessee quarterback? Sneed. Yes.
Yeah, LeJarrius Sneed. They traded him, and it's
because we couldn't afford him, but they have
people behind them they drafted that they have
full confidence in. Yeah. So, yeah. I think that's
the sustainable way to run an NFL franchise right
now. Yeah. 30 years from now, it'll be different.
Because things will change. Right now, if you
keep the old guys, you're going to have four
people. That's it, because they've got the huge
contracts. And you've got the disadvantage of
every year they're in the league, they automatically
get more salary. Their minimum salary goes up
every single year. So you can't sign a guy for
a dollar. and play him all year just because
he wants the ring. You can do that when he retires.
It's like, let me sign for a buck so I can retire
here. The union's okay with that. Yeah. But if
you're signing him as a player, there's a minimum
amount you've got to pay him. Yeah, and that's
where the salary cap works so well in the NFL
is there's no getting around it. Nope. You're
at least going to have to pay this much. Now,
you get sweetheart deals. And the reason you
get sweetheart deals is because people want to
win rings. And so they come to places like Kansas
City where we're a perennial winner and they're
taking less to do it. But then you have the part
where you're going to have to spend a certain
amount anyhow. A great example of that was back
in, was it the 90s? When Reggie White left the
Eagles and went to Green Bay. He said, God led
me to Green Bay. He said, this is where I need
to be. And at that point, Green Bay had been
a nobody for decades. And Reggie White deciding
to play there turned that entire franchise around.
They should put a giant statue of Reggie White
in Green Bay, Wisconsin because he brought them
back from the dead. He started talking to all
of his friends in the league. He says, man, you've
got to come play here. It's a great place to
live, a great place to work. That was under Brett
Favre, wasn't it? Eventually, yeah. Eventually,
yeah. Not at first, but eventually, yeah. Yeah,
I think it was Don Makowski at first. Don Makowski.
Or whoever was in front of him. And he was. He
was a pro bowler. He was a good quarterback.
He was a good quarterback. Because the Magic
Man was his nickname. Yeah, Magic Man. But then
when he got injured and Favre came in, they saw
that pass. It was like Drew Bledsoe and Tom Brady.
Yeah, Drew Bledsoe and Tom Brady. Well, actually,
they almost put Drew Bledsoe back in. Yeah, that's
true. They almost did. Because Tom Brady, he
was a serviceable, smart quarterback. But he
wasn't what he was the last five years he was
in the NFL. Yeah, he hadn't learned how to condition
his body yet. He hadn't developed all the knowledge
and instincts yet. But, you know, you could see
it was there. It was coming. Yeah, so it could
have been argued early in the career they could
have brought Bledsoe back, but they rode Tom
Brady to many, many great heights. Okay, you
have some more stuff you want to get to? Yeah,
I've got offensive and defensive rookie of the
year predictions. Oh, cool. Yeah, I was pretty
pleased with these. For offensive rookie of the
year, number five, Titairoa McMillan, wide receiver
for the Panthers. I could see him having a big
year with the quarterback they got there. Yeah,
Bryce is actually looking much better. He is,
yeah. Number four, Omarion Hampton, running back
for the Chargers. Oh, really? They say he's got
a chance to be rookie of the year. Oh, wow. He
must be something. Well, we're going to see him
first game. Yeah, yeah. Let's see. Yeah, he's
on the list for potential rushing yards. Number
three, Travis Hunter, as wide receiver. As wide
receiver. Not as defensive back. Number two,
Cam Ward, quarterback of the Titans. And the
number one prediction for offensive rookie of
the year, Ashton Jante running back for the Raiders.
I don't know how to pronounce his last name.
J -E -A -N. Babelsnatch. T -Y. So Jean T. Jante.
Jente. I'm not sure. I'm just going to call him
Babelsnatch. Babelsnatch. There we go. Babelsnatch.
However you pronounce your name, I'm sorry if
I'm butchering it. It's Babelsnatch. Okay, there
we go. That's all that counts in our land. Ashton
Babelsnatch of the Red. I'd love to see that
on the back of a jersey. I would, too. People
would go, oh, I had that gum a long time ago.
I still want to know how it was ordered. Their
regional manager ordered it. Wouldn't that be
weird if somebody actually was making something
called Babelsnatch gum? Yeah, it's like, I was
just joking. Where'd this stuff come from? It's
like when I came up with a name for my studio,
the No Filter Studio. Uh -huh. Oops, somebody's
already using that. Oh, yeah, that's right. I
forgot. I'm no longer the No Filter Studio. Oh,
I forgot. You came up with another name. Awkward
Possum. Yep, I like that a lot. Awkward Possum.
Nobody's going to have that. Mine is Talk is
Cheap. That's a pretty good one. I like that
one. All right, defensive rookie of the year
predictions. Number five, Andrew Makuba, safety
for the Eagles. Didn't want to hear that one.
That would be odd, though, to have a safety make
defensive rookie of the year. He's going to have
to hit a lot of big hits and a lot of interceptions.
That's the only way. Yeah. Number four, Will.
Oh, go ahead. I'm sorry. Okay, sorry. Number
four, Will Johnson, cornerback for the Cardinals.
Okay. The Cardinals aren't all that great a team,
so he's going to have to stand out in a couple
of ways. Yeah. This one, I didn't really take
that one seriously. That's why I was like, just
okay. I just, yeah. Number three, Malachi Starks
for the Ravens, safety. Okay. Number two, Jade
Barron, cornerback for the Broncos. That is so
surprising that we have quarterbacks and safeties.
Yeah, five through two are all defensive backs.
They must be planted on, like you said, stripping,
interceptions, disruption. Not a single linebacker.
Not a linebacker, but instead cornerback. Wow.
But number one on the list, Abdul Carter, edge
rusher for the Giants. Okay, yeah, and I read
a little bit about him. Yeah, I think that could
happen. I think an edge rusher has a good shot
at being rookie of the year. Oh, yeah, you get
15 or more sacks with pressures, and you're automatically
on that list. Yeah, yeah, I think so too. Yeah.
And then the list of ones to watch, Trey Harris,
wide receiver, the Chargers. He's a good route
runner. Sounds like the Chargers had one hell
of a draft. Yeah. He's a big play guy. He's good
at those deep balls down the field. Okay. So
Trey Harris is going to be the vertical passing
game, it looks like. Torrey Horton, wide receiver
of the Seahawks. He slid down the draft because
of a knee injury that ended his college season
last year, but he's a good player. Well, he's
kind of like Josh Simmons. Josh Simmons slid
because of his knee also. Yeah. Okay. Upton Stout,
cornerback for the Niners. He has quickness and
speed. So he's fast and he can get up to full
speed in a hurry. Perfect slot corner guy, and
they need one. Yeah. So I think Upton Stout,
you're going to see him at slot for the Niners.
Well, they've got it. Well, you know what, we
can go into that later. I'm talking about how
they need to change their offense now considerably,
and this would be a good. Good bridge. Yeah.
Go ahead. Caleb Johnson, running back for the
Steelers. 224 pounds, power, downhill runner,
and he's fast. For the Steelers? Yeah. Yeah,
I'm thinking Steelers have a history of good
running backs. And two and a quarter bills and
downhill power, and he's fast. That's going to
be something to see. Yeah, I think the rest of
the AFC North is starting to go, we better shore
up our running defense, I should say. Do you
think it's the year they're going to take over
Baltimore? You know, it's starting to look that
way. Aaron Rodgers is settling in really nicely
there. And each year, it's probably just my perception,
but each year Lamar Jackson looks more and more
frustrated. Yes. Especially late in the season,
he's getting anxious and frustrated. He's like,
I've been here before. I can't fall short again.
I think that's kind of working against him mentally.
I agree. So Steelers, I think, can swoop in and
just pass him up. I think this is a year, too.
I've wondered that, too, and I've got to think
if Aaron Rodgers could just settle down and be
good enough. Yeah. Like Peyton Manning even in
his last couple of years. Yeah. Just good enough.
Don't make a lot of mistakes. Make a big play
here and there. The rest of the team could probably
do the rest. Yeah, yeah. Okay, anyhow. Gunnar
Helm, tight end for the Titans. He's a seam buster,
which is awesome for a tight end. Oh, real quick,
back to Baltimore. I agree 100%. I'm sorry, I
didn't get to say this. But Lamar Jackson. The
more we go on, instead of him taking leaps and
bounds and becoming that guy that takes the team
on his shoulders, he's continually fumbled the
ball. I mean, not literally, but, you know, figuratively.
Yeah, it's a little bit of choking. Yeah. It's
because he's way too deep in his own head. And
that's something I wanted to go into last podcast,
I forgot about it, is, yeah, I don't think that
he's, I think that now it's become apparent that
they're going to have to start looking for somebody
else, and maybe they don't want to sign him that
big contract again. Yeah, it sounds unthinkable,
but now it's starting to look definitely possible
that Lamar Jackson moves on to another team,
partly for the Ravens so they can change and
partly for Lamar Jackson so he can have a chance
at the ring. And a fresh start in a new team,
he can get back out of his head and say, okay,
let's start over. I think that would be beneficial
for Lamar Jackson's career is to find a decent
team to go to. Yeah, and also for the Ravens
also, so it started over. So anyhow, I'm sorry
to go ahead. Interesting stuff. Anyway, this
Gunnar Helm for the Titans, real good scene buster.
He makes the tough catches. I mean, in all of
preseason, he's getting clobbered, and he's still
holding on to the ball. Really good possession
guy, and the Titans have needed a tight end for
years. The tight end position has been a problem
for Tennessee, and now it looks like they got
their guy. Yeah, I agree. I would not be surprised
to see him just rocket up the receiving charts
this season. All right. We have also projected
stats for the rookie class. Okay. Passing yards,
they're projecting Cam Ward with 3 ,821. I think
that's a little low if things turn out like they're
saying. Yeah. I think he's fully capable of getting
4 ,000, but everything's got to go. You know
what? No, they're probably about right. Jackson
Dart, 1 ,990 yards. So not even 2 ,000 yards
in New York. They've got that running back. They've
got a defense, a decent defense. Maybe they don't
think he's going to start all the games. That's
the only thing I can think of, is 2 ,000 is not
a good amount. Yeah. Okay. And then here's another
guy. I don't know how to pronounce his last name.
S -H -O -U -G -H. Shou, Shuff, Shou. Babelstach?
Shou, yeah. Tyler Shuff. I'll put it as Shou.
Shou Shuff. They're predicting 1 ,647 yards for
him. So it doesn't sound like he's starting every
single game either. No, no. Passing touchdowns.
Cam Ward is projected to have 23. Sounds about
right. Yeah, I think that sounds about perfect.
Jackson Dart, 10. They don't expect him to do
that. He's not in there the whole time. No, and
Tyler Shue, eight. So that doesn't sound like
an every game starter, but it sounds like they're
going to be a contributor. Okay. Interceptions,
they're predicting 14 for Cam Ward versus 23
touchdowns. 23 and 14. I think they're pretty
good. It's probably about right for a rookie.
It's more than you want, but it's okay. It's
not expected for a rookie. We're not talking
about an Allen or a Mahomes here. We're talking
about a very good quarterback that has the ability
to become even better. So I'm thinking they're
probably about right. These are not pedestrian
numbers. They're above pedestrian numbers, but
they're not crazy. Yeah, yeah. It does seem like
they're trying to make a reasonable, realistic
prediction. Yeah, so far I like this. Even though
I thought it was going to be 4 ,000 yards at
first, I got thinking about it, and that is extremely
hard to get, even with 17 games. Jackson Dart,
they're predicting eight interceptions to ten
touchdowns. That's not very good. No, and his
name's Jackson Dart, so I'm going to say yeah.
Yeah, and then Tyler Shue, six interceptions
versus eight touchdowns. Still not very good,
but rookies. Yeah, they're rookies. And it coincides
with the rest of the stats. Yeah. So I know how
they got it. Yeah. Quarterback rushing yards.
Okay. Cam Ward, 298. Yeah. Jackson Dart, 183.
A little high for him, but okay. Well, I guess
he's going to be running for his life. He might
be, yeah, scrambling out of the pocket. But,
you know, he's got to make these yards going
upfield. He can't just run around back in the
backfield. Yeah, okay, all right, whatever. Then
Tyler Shue, 114. I think that's high for Tyler
Shue, but okay. All of this makes it sound like
Tyler's not going to be in the game all that
much. I don't think he is. Yeah, because he looks
like he's hitting about half the stats everybody
else. Yeah. Okay. Rushing yards, Ashton Janty,
1 ,248. That's pretty good for a rookie. That's
really good. Yeah. I mean, that's about what
Kareem Hunt did his rookie season, isn't it?
I think so. Yeah. Okay, yeah. Omari and Hampton,
1 ,144 yards. And Travion Henderson, 992 yards.
So all three of these sound like they're going
to be the featured back. Yeah, I'm going to say
that as far from what I know of him, which isn't
a lot, okay, I'm on board with that. For rushing
touchdowns, Omarion Hampton takes the lead over
Ashton Janty. He's predicted to have 11. Okay,
because is he a bigger guy? I think he is a bigger
guy. Okay. Ashton Janty is predicted to have
8, and Trayvon Henderson 6, which ain't bad.
No, that's not bad. Okay, all right. Running
back receiving yards, Ashton Janty, 484. I can
see the Raiders throwing to him that much. Yeah,
I could. R .J. Harvey, 351. I'm not sure who
he plays for. Yeah, R .J. Harvey. Yeah, but he
wasn't on any of the other lists, so he must
be a receiving running back. He's got to be.
They're predicting him with 351 receiving yards.
Let's see, who could it be on? I'm going to say
Jacksonville. That sounds about right. R .J.
Harvey? Uh -huh. And then Travion Henderson with
329 receiving yards. Okay. R .J. Harvey. Not
Steve Harvey. That's his cousin. Yes. Okay. Who
the hell does he play for? Oh, he's for the Broncos.
He's a Bronco. All right, we're going to get
to see him twice. Yep. All right. It looks to
me like a dunk -off guy. Yeah. Yeah, probably
third down. Safety valve. Yes, safety valve.
All right. Okay. Receiving yards for rookie is
Tetairoa McMillan, 1 ,027. That's good for a
rookie. I'm going to go, yeah. Who does he play
for? Oh, gosh, I don't remember. Tyrone McMillan?
Tetairoa. Tetairoa McMillan. Tatairoa McMillan.
While that's looking up, Travis Hunter. It took
me to wholesale tires. Yeah. Okay, all right.
You know what? I don't care. Go ahead. Travis
Hunter with 967. Okay. That's Jaguars. And then
Matthew Golden with 957. Okay. So each one of
them were right at 1 ,000 yards. They're expecting
Golden to get seven touchdowns and Tatairoa McMillan
and Travis Hunter to tie with six touchdowns.
That would be proportionate to the amount of
yards they get. I want to know what Worthy is
projected to get this year. Oh, yeah. Xavier,
I bet, is over a grand. I'll bet you he's a...
I would think so. Yeah. Tackles. Number one,
Malachi Starks, 85. Number two, Will Johnson
was 65. Number three, Jade Barron with 58. Okay.
I mean, all these are really decent numbers for
rookies. There really is. Sacks. Two people are
tied for first place. Abdul Carter and Jalen
Walker with six each. Abdul Carter is the guy
who plays for Giants. And then three people tied
for second. James Pierce Jr., Michael Williams,
and Shamar Stewart with five each. Okay. So low
sack totals for the rookies, but that's all right.
Okay. And then interceptions. Malachi Starks
and Judd A. Barron are tied with two. And there's
nobody else on the list. So looking back on it,
they're not really expecting, for rookie of the
year, they're not really expecting these defensive
backs to make a lot of interceptions. No, I know.
Because they're only predicting two of them to
get two. It seems low to me. Yeah. I mean, even
there may not be any superstars in there, it
still seems low because someone is going to catch
fire in there somewhere. So what we're going
to have to see is like one of these rookie defensive
backs shutting down a good receiver for a good
chunk of the game, game after game. I guess that's
the kind of effort. It doesn't really produce
stats. Yeah. But what you look at is the lack
of stats of the person you're guarding. That's
right. So that might be how they do it. Okay.
I mean, but I still don't see them looking at
that and handing out any type of trophy. I mean,
you know what I mean? Unless you have the sacks.
Even pressures don't get what they... I mean,
look at... If Chris Jones got pressure credit,
jeez. Yeah, I mean, they mention it, but... It's
not really anything that they put their foot
on at all. Well, sacks themselves weren't officially
counted by the league until 1982. That's true.
That's kind of weird. I also have a readout of
the key players for each team for this season,
but they... No quarterbacks, no rookies, and
no coaches. So you've got to pick somebody else
from each team. It's too easy to pick a rookie
or a quarterback. See, I love this because this
accentuates a lot of the core play and it doesn't
get that sexy groove. Yeah, and it's somebody
who was there last year. Okay. All right, so
I started with the AFC West because I'm biased
that way. Yeah, me too. Fuck all of the rest
of them. Excuse me. So for the Denver Broncos.
cornerback Riley Moss, who they think they're
going to be the key player. Only three outside
corners with at least 200 coverage snaps were
targeted more than Moss last season. Not because
he's a bad player. He allowed 7 .6 yards per
target, just above the average of 7 .4 for outside
corners. But because that's what happens when
you play opposite Patrick Sertan II. Teams throw
it at you. Yeah, yeah. Consider the late -season
game he played against the Bengals in which Cincinnati
didn't worry about the Jamar Chase -Patrick Sertan
matchup to target T. Higgins against Moss. Eight
targets, seven catches, 101 yards, and two scores.
I kind of call that successful because everyone's
throwing at you anyhow. Yeah. I mean, it doesn't
look that good on paper, but if you look at the
opposite side with Sertan there, and they're
really... But at that point, Chase is really
becoming a decoy more than anything. Now, it
goes on to say that Higgins is possibly the best
number two wideout in football, and Moss was
just coming off an MCL sprain. Yeah, okay. So
they say he's lost a lot of contested catches
and should expect some positive regression there,
but the target density isn't going away. They're
going to keep throwing at him, especially now
that the Broncos have improved its slot corner.
with Jade Barron. Defense coordinator Vance Joseph
wants to play man coverage and blitz. So opposing
quarterbacks will default to challenging Moss
with back shoulder fades and dare him to make
them pay at the catch point. His first season
as starter was encouraging, but he'll need to
take another step forward for the Broncos to
remain atop the defensive charts. So he's got
room for improvement, but they're thinking he
probably will improve and become the key player.
I'm going to put the condom back on the microphone
because it's starting to get wind noise. A little
bit, yep. All right, so we are now practicing
safe podcasting. All right, good, good. We don't
want any little unwanted podcasts popping up
anywhere. Yes. For the Kansas City Chiefs, safety
Jaden Hicks. That's who they predict. You know
what? Jaden Hicks has really progressed a long
ways. I really enjoyed watching him last season.
I can't wait to see him this season. Yeah, yeah.
He's on his, what, third year? I think so, yeah.
Yeah. I mean, he's progressing the first two
so much, I have nothing to believe that he could
become that shutdown guy that they're expecting.
Yeah. There are only a few key names for the
three -time AFC champs as the roster consistently
churns over. Yeah, that's why they're AFC champs.
But it included left guard Kingsley Suamata 'ia.
and corner Christian Fulton. Those both could
have been the standout guy. But we're focusing
here on Hicks. Oh, he's a 2024 fourth rounder,
so this is the second season. Oh, it's the second,
geez. And he's stepping into Justin Reed's vacated
shoes. Yes. Now, Devin Bush, who we lost for
the season, he was not necessarily the starter,
but he was a sub on safety and special teams
guy. Yeah, he was a really multi -purpose guy
that we really needed. So they were expecting
Jaden Hicks to be the guy anyway this year. Yeah,
and I did too. I don't know who they're going
to shuffle around. They're going to shuffle around
somebody to try to replace Bush somewhat. Reed
was considered kind of the quarterback of the
defense. He could play anywhere on the field.
He could play tight man coverage. He could go
up against tight ends. Really good on tackling.
They consider him a consistent mistake eraser.
He will help you erase a mistake you made last
play. Okay. Okay. That's cool. He'll probably
be tested a lot early, but he's probably going
to step up and shine. I hope so. He's definitely
the one to watch. Yes, okay. And who is this
again? Jaden Hicks. Okay, you're on Hicks still.
Okay, that's what I thought. So for the Raiders,
it's their center, Jordan Meredith. The Raiders
plan to start Meredith at center. He's never
made a regular season snap at center in college
or in the pros. They have 2024 second rounder
Jackson Powers Johnson. a college center at Oregon
on the roster, but Paris Johnson has been moved
to right guard. Okay. Not sure exactly what they're
cooking there. Stylistically, Paris Johnson is
a bulky and boxy lineman, whereas Meredith moves
a little easier. So you'd think put the guy at
center and the other guy at guard. Chip Kelly
apparently has a vision for which body types
work in which position in his running game. Chip
Kelly? Chip Kelly. Chip Kelly. Yeah. I didn't
know he was on this team. Who was his college
team? Somebody's yelling at their radio right
now. Radio, listen to me. Go ahead and say it.
Because what I'm finding out is it pisses people
off when you act like this is a regular radio
show. Yeah. We're just having fun. Anyhow, go
ahead. Believe me, we're not making it done.
But the interesting thing is here you've got
a guy. who's snapping the ball at center, who's
never snapped the ball to a quarterback before.
Yeah. And he's going into the regular season
as the starter, doing something he's never done
before. I don't. I definitely see how this is
the guy to watch. Yeah. Yes. Now the problem
is, if it works out, great. If it doesn't work
out, then you're making changes to your interior
line. Exactly. In the middle, right in the middle.
Yeah, it could be bad. This could be a disaster
in the waiting. Yeah, but he's taking a gamble.
I guess that's what you got to do. And also,
I don't know if they have really anything back
up anyhow. I think it's really kind of, it is
what it is. For the Chargers, edge rusher Tui
Pulotu. He had eight and a half sacks last year,
but hardly anyone knows who he is or heard of
his name before. And he had eight and a half
sacks. The most quiet sacks everyone's ever gotten.
They describe him as a low -pressure, high -sack
player. So he doesn't necessarily bring a lot
of pressure. Someone else flushes him out of
the pocket, and he's kind of like right there.
Yeah, so it's like he's number two in the one
-two punch. Okay. He's kind of like Carl Loftus
does a lot, where... Whenever Jones flushes him
out, he's there to fucking grab him and throw
him to the ground. That type of thing. Just like
Neil Smith and Derek Thomas were. Yeah, and I
always love that combination. Defensive back,
linebacker usually, and one goes to the one and
one goes to the other. And whoever gets there
first flushes him out for the other guy. Yep,
yep. They say he's really got a knack for making
splashy tackles behind the line of scrimmage.
So that's going to work out really well for him.
He's also really... He's pretty good at doing
that in the running game, too. He can stuff the
running back behind the line. Well, I mean, not
good for us, but, you know. Now, he's been splitting
snaps with Bud Dupree and Joey Bosa when Joey
Bosa was healthy. Bosa is now off the roster.
He's out again, isn't he? He's off the roster.
Yeah, he's playing for somebody else now. Oh,
that's right. Yeah. Did he go to Pittsburgh?
Pittsburgh or Chicago? I can't remember which
one. Oh, well, it doesn't matter. So he's going
to be a full game starter. Should get about 70
% of the snaps opposite Khalil Mack. And people
are probably going to be sending most of their
pass rush protection against Khalil Mack, so
he's going to get a chance to slip in there.
I can see that. He can get some pretty good numbers
just because of that. Yeah. Okay. So, moving
on to the AFC East. Buffalo Bills, wide receiver
Keon Coleman. For the 958th consecutive offseason,
the Bills are looking for a way to break through
the AFC playoffs. Playoffs? Playoffs. Their offense
is plenty capable. Joe Brady, offensive coordinator,
has got a precise passing game and a brawling
rushing attack with the ever -looming threat
of Josh the Alien's wizardry. But there's still
the lurking question. Does this team have a wide
receiver number one? They haven't since Diggs
left, but they're like the Chiefs. They still
win. Yeah, yeah. Well, unless it's, you know,
playoffs. Playoffs. They've got an excellent
slot receiver in Khalil Shakir. Shaker Shakir.
I think it's Shakir. It doesn't matter. Yeah,
he's the brother of Shakira. Yeah, yes. But Coleman.
He had to cut his hair, though. He had hair just
like his sister, and they made him cut it. And
apparently his hips do lie. Yes, they do. But
Coleman is the player they really need to emerge
at the outside. Yes. He's not really good at
getting separation yet, but once the ball's there,
he's really good at fighting for the ball and
getting it. Yeah. He's got to develop the chemistry
with the quarterback, and Josh Allen has to be
willing to throw to him even when he's covered.
Last year, the relationship really wasn't there.
He could be a good physical number one wide receiver
that the Bills have needed for a while. Yeah.
Hopefully not against the Chiefs. Yeah. Well,
Josh Allen, I mean, if he has that guy, he's
capable. But the thing that concerns me about
him, and look, I mean, I'm not an advocate for
him or nothing, but if this guy doesn't turn
out to be a wide receiver one, then they're going
to have issues again. Yeah. So I don't know,
is it a salary cap issue or is it a drafting
issue? And it also may be who fits what we've
already got going here because they don't want
to change anything in their scheme to fit a new
play. It's like, here's what we've got going
on, now we've got to find somebody who fits that
and who wants to come here and who we think is
going to do a good job. It can get tough. I'm
relatively sure there's still our main competition
in the AFC. Pittsburgh took a nod up, but other
than that, I think you're going to have to look
at the usual suspects. Yeah. And I'm not convinced
on Cincinnati anymore like you. Yeah. They're
going to have to prove it. They're going to have
to. One month into the season, we'll get a better
idea of Cincinnati. Yeah, we will. Yeah. And
a lot of other teams, too. Yeah. All right. We
can move on to the AFC. Oh, wait. I am doing
AFC North. Next is Miami Dolphins. They have
a cornerback. Awesome name. Storm Duck. How awesome
is that? Especially to play in Miami. You've
got a Tango Viola and a Storm Duck. Storm Duck.
He was a high caliber recruit. His college career
was marred by injury, but he made the Dolphins
roster last year as an undrafted free agent and
played over 300 snaps because of injuries to
other players. Dolphins did get beat up last
year. Oh, shit. Yeah. It started with their quarterback
running straight into the defensive lineman with
his helmet first. That was just painful to watch.
I know, and that was like the dumbest thing I've
seen in football in a long time, too. Here you
are, you already have problems with having concussions,
and the first thing your quarterback does is
run straight into a defensive back and get a
concussion. Anyhow, go ahead. I'm still reliving
that. Even though I don't give a shit about him,
it's like, what the fuck, dude? Anyhow. But Duck
is now going to be in the starting role. They've
retooled the secondary. He might even be quarterback
one. Seriously? Might be. The front seven should
actually be pretty solid. Any ounce of quality
play from the defensive backfield would go a
long way into maximizing the effect of that pass.
Well, you know what? I don't think they really
– yeah, okay. The QB1 – or not QB1, but the quarterback
CB1. Yeah, you know what? He could be. Yeah,
could be. We'll see. I mean, he's got a year's
experience. Yeah. Wide receiver – oh, New England
Patriots wide receiver Stephon Diggs. Now – The
entire thing of him being caught on camera distributing
pink cocaine to a bunch of ladies on that boat
has completely disappeared. They reported on
it like once or twice, and now it's completely
disappeared. No one's talking about it and was
bringing it up. So apparently the right people
were paid off. He loggered up something. And
that whole drug thing is going away for Stephon
Diggs, even to the point where we're not even
supposed to talk about it or admit it actually
even happened. Isn't that weird? That's fucked
up. There's your NFL cover -up. Yeah. Yeah. All
right, they're saying Patriots were very encouraged
by a rookie season out of quarterback Drake May.
He looked better than the other ones. He endured
a terrible offensive line, terrible receiver
play, not much offensive coordination, but he
still looked the part of a playmaker and a processor.
The Patriots got heavily involved in the wide
receiver market this year, veteran receiver,
and they landed Stephon Diggs, 31 -year -old
Stephon Diggs, to be the number one wide out.
He's recovering from a torn ACL that happened
in week eight last year. He was averaging two
yards per route run last season and targeted
only 25 % of the time. Okay. But... Both were
above the league average for an NFL wide receiver.
Two yards per play. Per play? That includes,
I mean, that's every time you run a pass round,
whether they throw the ball at you or not. I
guess that's not bad. I guess so. You'd want
it to be three. If that was a running back, you'd
be like, fuck that. Yeah, you need three, three
and a half. Yeah. So three times and you've got
a first down. The theory behind running backs
is you can run them three times and get a first
down. That's what they want. Wow. Okay. They
say last year he wasn't really used as much downfield.
They say each time he was thrown the ball, the
ball traveled an average of less than nine yards
in the air. So he really wasn't all that far
from the line of scrimmage when he was catching
the ball. Okay. But they also had his teammates,
Nico Collins and Tank Dell. They were catching
a lot of the deep stuff. Okay. They're saying
they pretty much, I mean, as a wide receiver
one, you want them to run a lot of deep and vertical
routes, but they're probably not with Stephon
Diggs. They want to hide him from the pressure
and protect him from those long vertical routes.
They want to use formation and motion to hide
him from the corners of the line so he's back
to see movement around a bunch. It's the old
moving target philosophy. Yeah. If you've got
him lined up as number one and you know he's
running down the field most of the time, then
it's too obvious. So they're going to do some
razzle -dazzle on him, I guess. Okay. Last team
of the AFC North, the New York Jets, running
back Brees Hall, who had a really good year last
year. Okay. Jets have made no secret of their
intention to run the football as much as they
can this season. They have a strong interior
line. a great rushing quarterback in Justin Fields,
and a scary two -headed backfield. Is Fields
a starter? Yeah. Okay. They've got Reese Hall
and second -year pro Braylon Allen. Hall averaged
5 .8 yards per carry through Week 7 in 2022,
his rookie season, and then ACL and meniscus
tear ended that. Since the injury, he's been
kind of struggling to find an explosiveness at
near the same rate. But when you've got a rushing
quarterback and another good running back, they
can't afford to send everybody at you. So he's
going to have a little more time to get up to
speed and get out of the spot. Last year when
he had Aaron Rodgers there, they knew Aaron wasn't
going to run. Yeah. So nobody ever tried to contain
his scrambling. This year that's going to be
a thing, so give him one more chance. Well, Justin
Fields is a pretty athletic quarterback. So it
would be interesting to see what he can do if
they let him run more in the system like it looks
like they're planning on doing. Yeah. So, all
right. And they also think that he can be one
of the league's best pass catchers at running
back. Okay. With all that, he looks to have a
good breakout here. Okay. Oh, that was the AFC
East. I called it the North. Oh. I didn't notice.
So we can keep going with these key player predictions,
or if you want to move on to something else,
we can save these for next week. Let's save them
for next week, and do you want to go to the music
creeps maybe? Sure. All right. Oh, wait a minute,
wait a minute. Let's do a couple of predictions
on the key games first. Oh, yeah. And then we'll
go to... Music creeps. All right. First off,
we have Thursday, September 4, 2025. Amazon.
No, actually, not Amazon. NBC and Peacock. So
it's Dallas and Philadelphia. You know, I think
Dallas is going to give them one fuck of a fight.
Yeah, I wouldn't be surprised with that. I really
think the Eagles are going to win. I do, too.
But I think it's going to come down to last minute,
and people are going to be scratching their head
going, what happened? I think it's going to be
a really good game to be the first one of the
season. It's probably going to wind up being
a really good choice. It's going to be a fist
fight, yeah. Yeah, division rivals, a lot of
bad blood, and Eagles are used to beating up
on the Cowboys lately. I think the Cowboys are
actually going to answer back a little bit, but
the Eagles are going to end up winning this.
But it's going to be closer than people think.
Yeah, I'm going to say. Less than six. Five or
fewer points between them. I'm going to say four
-point difference at the end. Dallas is going
to need a quarter, but, you know, a touchdown.
And they're at, like, the 30 -yard line, and
Dak is going to throw an interception with two
seconds left. All right. The $240 million man.
Yes. I wish him all the best, but I just don't
think that that was. He's the reason we got Mahomes.
One of the reasons. That's true. All right. Friday,
September 5th. And this will be on Fox. So we
get to listen to the amazing. Who is it? Is it
still Buckingham? No, no, no. It's not Buckingham.
That's ABC. I can't even remember who the hell
is on Fox now. As long as it's not Tony Romo.
No, it isn't. That's CBS. Well, anyhow, who are
the fucks on it? All right, maybe. Who? What
network is Brady on? I think it is Brady. Oh,
that'd be awesome. Okay. All right, well, this
could be in Brazil. So you can go by and say
hi to Gazelle, Giselle, whatever. Yeah, Gazelle
Munchkin. Yeah, Munchkin, yeah. You can go say
hi to Munchkin when he's in that area. Yeah.
So this Kansas City at Los Angeles, they call
it an away game for Kansas City in Brazil. Well,
it would have been an away game in Los Angeles
at the Chargers Stadium. But they're getting
sued. Yes, they are. Because they sold all their
season ticket holders a ticket to that game and
then moved it to Brazil. Yeah. Oops. Oops. And
no refunds. No refunds. No refunds. I'm going
with Kansas City, but again, a fist fight. Oh,
yeah. That's going to be a tough game. It's going
to be an ugly game. Yeah, yeah. You're going
to see some long passes from both of them. You're
going to see some pretty passes from both of
them. but you're going to see a lot of blood
and guts on this, and it's going to be left on
the field, and it's going to be a trench fight.
It's not going to be an elite throw -a -thon.
It's not going to be a pass -a -thon. Very physical.
The Chargers always hit the Chiefs hard. Yeah,
they're going to do nothing different. It's going
to be the same, fist fight. Two weaknesses in
the defense I noticed during the preseason, which
doesn't necessarily mean everything for the regular
season, but the Chiefs' running defense looked
a little suspect. And they got suckered by bootleg
plays over and over and over. And that was something
Elway used to do to us back in the 70s. He used
to kill us with that. No, not 70s, 80s. And,
yeah, I remember yelling at the TVs, like, he's
running bootlegs about every third play, and
you still can't stop him. You just have no idea
how to stop a bootleg. I think that'd be great
for Mahomes, but they don't want to do that.
No, no, they've made the decision. They're not.
intentionally calling him a Holmes running play.
Well, ever since he hurt his knee in Denver.
Like, no more of that. So the quarterback sneak
is off the table. I would expect the Chargers
to try to explore the running game against the
Chiefs. And I think in the first quarter we're
going to see a lot of bootlegs. And if they work,
they're going to keep doing them. And that's
going to be tough. Unless Justin Herbert ends
up bloody on the field with a leg missing. I
can see that happening, too. All right, and another
game that I find interesting. It may not be a
premier game, but how about the Bengals at Cleveland?
That will be a nice test. Yeah. Not in any way
a trap game because they're division rivals.
They know each other. I think for both games,
it's going to be an opportunity to show who they
are and prove a point. And I think that's going
to be a slugfest. That's going to be almost as
much a slugfest as Cleveland -Pittsburgh is.
I think so too, yeah. Cleveland -Pittsburgh is
always a very physical, tough game. I'm going
to give it to Natty just by a little bit. I would
think so because Cleveland's starting all over
quarterback again. Yeah, unless you see some
really determined people. They're like, this
is not the year, and we're tired of being the
butt of the joke. Yeah. I think that it's going
to be Natty, but it's not going to be easy, of
course. Yeah. I mean, the big advantage there
right off the bat is Cleveland is unsettled at
quarterback, and Cincinnati has the guy, and
he's been the guy, and only injury has kept him
from having a great season in his career. I mean,
he's been playing really well. He's playing smart
football no matter what the team's doing. He
occasionally opens his mouth when he shouldn't.
But a lot of players do that. But Joe Burrow
has never been the issue in Cleveland. I mean,
in Cincinnati. He's an issue for Cleveland, I'd
put it that way. Burrow's got it all, and he
just needs the supporting cast to get it done.
It's going to be interesting to see how Cincinnati
handles everything that's been happening and
whether they're going to rise to the top or settle
for mediocrity. Yeah. I mean, realistically,
in the AFC, the only two quarterbacks I see that
can outplay and outmaneuver and outthink Mahomes
at this point are Josh Allen and Joe Burrow.
Yeah, yeah. All these J names are confusing me.
Josh, Joe, Justin, Jalen. Yeah. It's a lot of
J -name quarterbacks. It is, isn't it? Anyway,
but, yeah, I mean, Lamar Jackson is looking too
distracted. Justin Herbert looks like he doesn't
quite have the confidence. I haven't seen enough
out of Bo Nix yet. No. But, yeah, those two,
Allen and Burrow, are still the perennial roadblocks
in the Chiefs' way. And, of course, we're the
roadblock in their way. Yeah. Yeah, I agree with
everything you said. Pretty much continue on
as a lather, rinse, repeat. You know, why not
try it? It worked last year. Keep trying it until
it blows up. Until it blows up. How about Detroit
at Green Bay? Right off the bat. I'd have to
say Green Bay is going to handle them. As high
as I was on Detroit last season, I just don't
see it anymore. Oh, no, I don't either. I see
the team crumbling. Yeah, it's like a one -hit
wonder in music. They had their hit. They had
their season. They had their great time being
talked about and having the enormously successful
record. But they just fell apart so badly in
the postseason. Yep. Playoffs. Playoffs. So,
yeah, I see green. And it's going to be a good
game for probably about three quarters. And then
the fourth quarter, it's going to get... I think
just kind of foregone conclusion at that point.
I could see Green Bay just putting their foot
down, not necessarily to score points, but keeping
Detroit from scoring points. I think it's going
to be about an eight -point difference when it's
all said and done. That sounds about right. More
than a touchdown. Yeah, more than a touchdown.
Houston at Los Angeles. That is an interesting
match. Wow. You know, I really kind of lost my
sense for Houston. I'm going to presume that
they're as tough as they were last year and that
C .J. Stroud is going to be better than he was
last year. The Rams are, I don't know, I think
the Rams have shaken up their organization a
little more than the Houston Texans have. And
home field advantage, I've never really bought
that in Los Angeles because there's just too
much else to do in L .A. than watch a football
game. Nobody cares. When they keep showing the
same person, over and over in the stands, then
they're trying to get something across to people.
You know what I mean? They keep showing that
woman that's, like, such a fan. Yeah, they're
trying to divert from, like, there's not really
that much fandom in that. It's like when you
go to Green Bay to play, about 20 % of the whole
town is in that stadium. Yes. When you go to
Los Angeles to play a football game, about one
-third of 1 % of the people of the city are in
that stadium. And less are watching the game.
Yeah, and it's because you get a town that big,
you're going to find at least some people who
are like, yeah, whatever, let's watch a football
game. But they're not really into it. Season
ticket holders are, I'm sure. But just the home
field advantage just, to me, has never been there
for Los Angeles. I'm going to go with the Houston
because I just think that they – Houston Strouds.
The Houston Strouds. I think if this is that
year that they try to become elite. Yeah. I don't
know if it's going to work. I've always liked
the Houston Texans. I do too. I like it that
they use the Chiefs' old name. I do too. And
they ask the Chiefs very politely and with dignity.
I think their uniforms are nice colors and good
looking. I like their logo. I do too. I've liked
everything about the Houston Texans except when
they beat the Chiefs. Except for Sean Watson.
Well, yeah, yeah. They got rid of him, so that's
credit for them. But we did go up 28 -24, being
down 24 -0 in the divisional round. Yeah. No,
that wasn't even divisional. No, I think that
was the first round we were in. The first round,
yeah. Yeah. Yeah, but they'll never be able to
outlive that, you know. So, all right. And then,
so do you agree, Texans? Yeah, I'll say the Texans
by four. More than a field goal. Less than a
touchdown. Four or five points. I agree. How
about Baltimore at Buffalo? Buffalo. Buffalo.
Yeah. And then Minnesota at Chicago. I'm going
to go Minnesota. That's it? Yeah, I would be
tempted to jump on Minnesota too, but I've got
to think about Chicago. Well, Chicago looked
great. and preseason, but they also played the
Bills and the Chiefs. Yeah, and then Chicago's
head coach made that comment about his number
ones versus somebody else's number twos or vice
versa, and that made Minnesota feel like they
were being disrespected. Yes. So, yeah, there's
that bulletin board material for the first game
of the season. Yeah, I'll go with Minnesota.
Just because their defense, really. And also
Caleb Williams hasn't shown it to me. Man, I
hope that guy catches on fire. I would love to.
He's got all the talent in the whole world. He's
a guy you would love to see just fucking start
making it. I would love to see a future NFL where
Caleb Williams and Jalen Hurts and the guy at
the Panthers, Bryce Hall. Bryce Young. Bryce
Young. And the Commander's quarterback. Jaden
Daniels. And Shadur Sanders. are like the hot
guys in the NFL that everyone's talking about.
That would be so fun. And the gameplay would
be so amazingly fun if those five quarterbacks
just like caught on fire and changed the game
again. Man, yeah. I really would like all these
guys to succeed. And then you're looking at the
Mahomes and the Allens and the Burroughs as the
wise elders. They'd be like Eddie Van Halen.
You know, he invented the tapping, and then we
all learned it and changed music forever. That's
going to be in my homes is going to be the Eddie
Van Halen of football. Yeah, yeah. Everyone's
trying to figure out how he's doing it. I'm trying
so hard to get the music creeps in here, I guess.
I know. All right, well, I think we're pretty
much done with the sports bastards. And I've
got to go take a leak anyway. Okay. Everybody,
thank you very much for listening. We really
appreciate it, and, you know, we put a labor
of love into this, and go fuck yourself. Oh,
no. Looks like the show's over, kids. Mark has
explosive diarrhea and can't afford a wireless
mic. Fear not, assholes. They'll be back invading
your ear holes soon.