What the hell do they call themselves again?
What was that? Sports Bastards? What a stupid
fucking name. Who the hell would name their show
the Sports Bastards? Gosh. Man, I can't believe
I'm here doing this. Hey, guess what? You just
landed on the Sports Bastards. Sorry about your
luck. Sports Bastards. There we go. Sports bastards,
we are at the Rock Island Railway Bridge that
just opened up this morning. We're giving you
a sneak preview. Yeah, yeah, very cool. We're
in the Park Commons area in the middle of it,
and it's really neat. You can see the river,
and you can see the new businesses and stuff.
Everybody needs to come on out. It's open right
now for the public. There's a bunch of other
people here. You can hear it. Yeah. So let me
make sure I've got, I think our gain's up okay.
I'm just going to turn up our headphone volume
just a hair. The email's 2douches at mail .com.
So, you know, once you come down here, we want
to know what you think of it. Yeah, yeah. It'd
be good to, you know, compare our impressions
with theirs. Yeah, yeah. Very cool. And I like
that rooftop bar over there. Isn't that cool?
Yeah, yeah. I want to see this all at night,
too. Yeah, I do, too. It's going to be all lit
up. You can tell. And then the nature trails
are fantastic. So come on out. It's going to
be great. And also there's a two -for -one special
at Halo's. Nice. Nice. We'll take advantage of
that before we wrap up. Yeah, definitely. Oh,
man. So, all right. Well, we have quite a few
things going on in football. Yeah, it's kind
of ramping up again. I'm impressed that we're
able to keep the sports bastards going through
the whole offseason. I know. Somehow, we were
scratching at the end there. I figured, well,
we'll just drop them and do the music creeps.
But now we came up with stuff to talk about.
Yeah, we did. And a lot of it was even kind of
interesting. Yeah, one or two pieces here and
there. Yeah. So, I've got some bullet points
you want to go into that, or you've got something
else you want to go into? I love bullet points.
All right. All right, well, I've asked this before,
but now that we've had some preseason with some
of it, and we kind of have a little bit of an
outline of what might happen during the regular
football schedule. Will the new ball placement
system work well? You know, I think it is working
okay. Yeah, they've had some bumps and bruises,
but it seems like they started it now. So they
can maybe have a smoother process. Two things
that jumped out at me. One... was that they have
the traditional chain gang there as a backup,
which was nice. Yeah, I found that interesting.
But it's great to know because if they're having
some sort of a bug, they're not standing there
where they're going, oh shit, what do we do now?
They seem to have a pretty solid plan in place.
The other thing that really struck me was that
it seems to take all the suspense out of it.
because they show the ball and they show the
two lines, and that always winds up being what
the distance is anyway. I was getting ready to
go to that. They've killed the element of suspense
there. They're going to have to figure out a
workaround there, because you've got to leave
people time to get on their phone and bet on
whether it's the first down or not. That's what
I was getting ready to say, because that was
a huge deal there. Yeah, I mean, you can't just
blow that for them right off the bat. Yeah, I
think they're going to do little tricks, like
they're going to move the line a little bit and
then act surprised. Have them wiggle or just...
Just not show them or show them from the chest
up. I'm thinking chest up. And I'll be standing
there and everyone's going to be, where the fuck
does the ball line? It's like, I don't know.
You guess. Where did you remember it last? Did
Kareem Hunt hit it at the 10 or did he hit it
at the 11? I don't know. Do you feel lucky? Yes.
Do you? To tell you the truth and also commotion,
I lost track too. Was it six yards or only five?
Okay, that's enough of that. Okay. You know what?
I did enjoy it while it lasted, though. I did,
too. I imagine Clint Eastwood doing that. Coming
out there and going to the ref going, well, do
you feel lucky, punk? Do you? A lot of people
don't realize that original movie, Dirty Harry,
the plot of that movie is based on a real -life
serial killer called the Zodiac. Oh, I forgot
about that. That's right. He was active in the
late 60s to early 70s in San Francisco, and he
was never caught. Yeah. And he was the first
one since Jack the Ripper to write taunting letters
to the police. He even included blocks of code.
Yeah. And... Yeah, wasn't that interesting? And,
I mean, it's no different now. I mean, that's
how the BTK buying torture kill in Wichita, how
he got busted is he was outraged that they forgot
about him. Yes. He could not believe... The ego.
Yeah, the ego on that guy. So he... It looks
like he purposely got caught. Yeah, yeah. Subconsciously,
maybe, but he purposely. It's like the bad guys
in the movies who stop and go into this big monologue.
Instead of just killing the hero, they go into
this big monologue, and that's when they get
caught because they want their moment on camera.
Yeah, it is quite a bit like that. You're right.
All right, the next one. So we both think it's
working well, and we're also thinking that they're
going to finagle with it to where you do. You
can bet quickly. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I think
it's a step in the right direction. I do, too.
And I like it now because now you can't have
the whiners whine. Uh -huh. They can't go, oh,
that's the fucking referees loving the Chiefs
before it was the Patriots, before that. You
know. Yeah. Whoever was doing well, they were
the babies. At first, everybody loves them. And
then after a couple times of seeing them, then
they're, oh, they're cheating. I do remember
some times where they'd zoom in on the football
and they'd pull the chain tight. and they hadn't
made the first down. And then they tug a little
more, and oops, now they did make the... That
always got me. It's like, now wait a minute,
didn't you tug the first time? Uh -huh. Yeah.
And then, of course, they don't show you the
other end of the chain where they're actually
just moving it so the results work out the way
they want it to. But this kind of removes that.
Yeah, it does. But I got news for you. Okay.
If they want to cheat, they will. Oh, yeah. All
they have to do is tell us some different...
result than the machine is saying yeah yeah machine
says first down by half yard and they'll say
nope fourth down yeah yeah just like voting no
yeah yeah when somebody is is taking the stuff
and then telling you what they think happened
yeah it's up to you to believe them yeah yeah
and let let's not forget it's entertainment it
is sports it is entertainment yeah So, all right,
now that the refs have been taken down just a
hair, will you look for them to be more aggressive
or less or about the same? I'm looking for them
to be a little more aggressive this year because
things are being taken out of their hands. So
they're kind of, I think they're in the mood
mode of. We're going to get replaced. There's
going to be fewer of us. Our job is dying. We
need to assert ourselves as being important to
the game. So I think they're going to take advantage
of some of the new rules, especially the one
regarding offensive gestures. They're really,
really going to concentrate on sportsmanship
this year. I've got a little blurb. wrote out
about that. But I think that's where we're going
to see a lot of that aggressiveness by the officials
is they're going to call people for unsportsmanlike
for the gestures they make immediately after
the play is over. You see, and that's interpretation.
So right there, they're going to be inflexing
their muscle. Have you ever seen the nose wiping
gesture? that the players do. That's a gang thing,
which I had no idea. I thought they were just
talking about snorting coke in celebration or
something, which would be bad enough. But there's
tons of gestures that we're seeing the players
make that actually have some pretty sketchy meanings
behind them. Well, the first person I can remember
doing it on the Chiefs is Travis Kelsey. Yeah,
yeah. And it was right after he started dating
Taylor Swift. He was smelling his finger. Yeah.
I was wondering what that was about. I'm like,
no, he would not be doing that, would he? He's
30 -something. You know, the childhood thing
where you, yeah, smell my finger thing. But it's...
It turned out to be a gang thing. Yeah, and it's
weird, the peer pressure. Leave it at that, I'm
kind of relieved of that. Because I'm like, man,
if he really did that. But then I've seen other
players doing that. I'm like, okay, it was not
that. That's good. Yeah. You remember the throat
slashing gesture they used to do? Yeah, that
they outlawed? Yeah. And that was a direct take
on how Nicole Brown Simpsons died. Was it? That
was a direct take on that. Oh, my God. It's like,
I'm going to kill you so bad, your head's going
to be like a Pez dispenser kind of gesture. And
when the league figured out that's what it meant.
They kept the lid on it, and then when enough
of the public figured out that's what it meant,
the NFL stepped in and said, all right, let's
no more. Yeah, no more, which is the right thing
to do. Yeah, but players keep figuring out different
ways to get around the rules and do something
on TV, and they're going to do it until they
get caught, and the league makes them stop. That's
just how things do. The fact that Travis Kelsey
is doing a gang gesture I find comical. Peer
pressure. Peer pressure, yeah. Yeah. It's like,
go sit down, white boy. Don't be doing that.
Maybe he lost a bet. Yeah, it could be. All right.
Who will the crown pick for the 2025 draft for
the Chiefs? Who will be the crown pick? Simmons.
I think it's going to be Josh Simmons. That's
exactly what I was going to say. Yeah. Without
a doubt. Yeah. Second choice, I was going to
say Royals. Royals is looking good. I think he's
going to come on big time. And I also love the
fact that his last name is Royals. Yes. Isn't
that cool? That's a jersey I'm going to have
to buy. It says Royals on a Chiefs jersey. On
a Chiefs jersey, yeah. That's just perfect. Coincidentally,
I hear that Cincinnati is furious because now
Taylor Swift has more rings than they do. Zing.
Snap. Snap. It also means that nobody can complain
anymore when Taylor Swift shows up at the football
games because that's his stinking fiance. Soon
to be his wife. Now she qualifies for the player's
family, friends and family accommodation. Yeah,
that's right. They showed Giselle or whatever
the fuck her name was, Munchkin. Yeah. Yeah,
quite a bit. Giselle Munchkin. Yeah, Munchkin.
Yeah. They showed her quite a bit, too, so there
you go. I mean, yeah. It's just what networks
do. Well, the reason is, is teenyboppers. Yes.
It's all over social media. They just showed
Taylor. Did you see her dress? Oh, my God. My
wife said... Yesterday at work, she works with
a lot of women in their 20s, and she said when
they found out that Swift and Kelsey were engaged,
there was screaming, there was whooping, there
was jumping up and down. And so it prompted me
to prepare a list of exactly every single way
in which Taylor Swift's and Travis Kelsey's engagement
is going to affect my life and your life and
everybody else's life. You ready for the list?
Yes, go ahead. You want to hear it again? Did
you get all that? Hang on. I've got to take some
notes. That was a long -ass list. That's every
single way in which their engagement really affects
our lives. This reminds me of Prince Charles
and Lady Di. Yeah. Remember that? Yeah. Oh, he
proposed. Fan club. Everybody fucking loved Princess
Di. Well, eventually Princess Diana. But they
loved Lady Di. They were nuts about her. And
here's this prince who turned out to be a complete
fucking idiot. Yeah. And his brother. pedophile
allegedly hey you know but you know that's the
way they reacted in the 60s to the beatles That's
the way they reacted in the 40s to Frank Sinatra.
That's right. I mean, this is nothing new. When
George Harrison was nailing his best friend Eric
Clapton's wife, everybody was celebrating. The
quote -unquote Layla that we hear about. I think
her name was Patty Boyd. Patty Boyd, yeah, but
he called her Layla on it. Probably so George
didn't catch on. Yes, that's why he called himself
Derek, as in Derek and the Dominoes. It should
have been Eric, but it was Derek. Eric. Wow,
so clever there, Eric. Eric Derrick. You know,
we need to do a full episode on Eric Clapton.
Yeah. I mean, no one would like him afterwards.
Yeah, yeah. Well, we'll cover his good stuff,
too. Yeah, you know what? Yeah, he did have a
lot of good stuff, honestly. Yeah. Yeah, and
I appreciated him working with Ozzy. I mean,
he didn't have to. Yeah. I know he probably didn't
make that much at that time, that type of music,
you know, a couple years ago. Really brought
in nothing. Yeah, that's true. And he did it
anyhow because Ozzy idolized him. And, I mean,
really, it was a good thing. Kind of like Jeff
Beck, too. That was something I saw mentioned
just this morning, that for a guy who couldn't
play guitar... Ozzy Osbourne sure introduced
us to a hell of a lot of good guitar players.
Well, and also he came up with a lot of the melodies.
I imagine so. They all say that. All you have
to do is sing it, you know, and the guitar player
can pick it up. Yeah, he was really good. Sorry,
I was going slow when I looked at the recording.
Yeah. So it's kind of hard to tell here in the
sunlight. I mean, that bridge has quite a reflection.
And there's reflection off the water down below.
Yeah, that's true. Beautiful, spacious place,
so you need to come out here immediately. The
weather's perfect for it today, too. Yeah, it
is. Great weather. Yeah. That sound you're hearing
is me taking the lid off my coffee cup. Sorry.
Oh, yeah. Yeah, this coffee place is really cool.
What's it called? Dove? Dove Coffee? Yeah. Yeah,
it's great. Yeah. So go to Dove Coffee. You'll
see it has two doves on the top of it there,
and they're lit up. It's beautiful. Not to get
too far into the music creeps, but that just
reminded me. Remember the band Devo? Yeah. Sometimes
they would rearrange the letters to Dove, and
they'd go out and play a concert as Dove, the
band of love. And they do easy listening versions
of all their songs. Oh, that would be... I would
rather see that than Devo. That is... I wish
I had seen Devo in concert at some point. I've
talked to some people who saw their show and
they said it was just amazing how they worked
the stage. I wish I'd been able to see it. I
was a fan of Devo as well. Yeah. And not just
the Whip It Good. They've had a lot of interesting,
I can't say they're like songs that I loved.
Yeah. They're interesting. The album I find most
accessible is New Traditionalists. Yes. It's
got Through Being Cool and Going Under and Beautiful
World. Yeah. I can't remember if there was a
hit. I think Through Being Cool was the hit off
of it. Yeah, and it was an, as in hit, we're
talking probably top 100. Yeah, yeah. I always
associate that album with John Belushi dying
because that was about the same time. Oh, I didn't
even realize that. Yeah. Okay, wow. All right.
Will Travis Kelsey move when he retires? Wow.
I hadn't thought about that. You know, I think
he probably will with Taylor. And I wouldn't
blame him. I mean, I would love for him to stay.
I think, wasn't she from like the East Coast
or kind of Eastern States? Yeah, that's what
I thought too. Yeah. And they were from Cleveland,
but ended up in, let's see. Yeah, yeah, Cleveland.
And then I know Jason still lives in the Philadelphia
area. Well, really, I think. I would support
Travis if he decided to leave Kansas City. I
think he wants to stay here, but he should do
whatever's best for his and Taylor's situation.
I kind of think they're going to keep a residence
here. I think so, too. But after retiring, Travis
can do what he does pretty much from anywhere.
Yeah, and I think that they're going to have
a few homes. Why couldn't they? Oh, really? Yeah.
Taylor's still a billionaire as far as I know.
She's got enough money for three lifetimes and
then 100 more after that. And Travis hasn't done
too bad either. Both of them are extremely wealthy.
I would like to see them start spending, spending,
spending. It's like buy a house in the city and
then make a huge impact in the city. You know,
they're both good people. I think, yeah. Despite
people getting tired of them and all that. That's
true. I mean, even President Trump had some good
things to say, even though their criticism of
him and all that. Yeah. He still had some good
things to say. So just him alone saying that
about him would show you that, like, you know.
Him being soft on him, per se, when he's never
soft on anybody, would indicate to me, like,
maybe, you know what, he even took a look back
and said, you know, they're not bad people. They
may not agree with me, but they're not bad people.
Yeah. So I could see them doing that, and I think
it would be extremely important for those two,
at their stage of where they are in life, they
need to be examples. I think so, yeah. And there
would be no better way than them teaming up and
doing something, you know. And they've chosen
to be very, very public people. Yeah. And that
is, you know, currently that is what they want
to do and what they are doing. That could change
at some point. But as long as they are comfortable
with being so public and so visible, then, yeah,
be an example. Be something good. Be something
that people want to emulate. Oh, yeah. Well,
and I can tell you this. Travis is, this is before
Taylor, but I don't think she changed him any.
He is a great guy. I know several people that
met him because they're working on his place.
And they said that. He couldn't have been nicer.
He didn't walk in and just didn't want to look
at him or nothing. He was bullshitting with him,
everything, and telling him little stories and
stuff. He took a little bit of time, and he got
to know him a little bit. He'd come in, he would
address him by name. Nice. Hey, hey, Jim, how
you doing? So he's a real guy. And he's a nice
guy, and that's good to know. So I could see
him doing that. It seemed like early in his career
he was having a little trouble with discipline
on the field. He was getting called for some
taunting and unsportsmanlike, and I thought,
is this guy a hothead? Is he going to be a jerk?
He was a hothead, but he changed it right now.
Yeah, yeah. Whatever happened to get him settled
down, thank God. Andy Reid, Patrick Mahomes.
I think so. Yeah. And I think Alex Smith had
a little bit to do with it, too. Alex Smith was
a great influence also. That's true. A lot of
this discipline and a lot of this friendliness
was the core of what Alex Smith was, too. And
Andy Reid. probably does not draft someone in
that highest stature or buy them or trade for
them or whatever unless they have those qualities.
Yeah, that's true. Because I think most teams
have learned the lesson of hiring the quote -unquote
cancer in the locker room. They have all the
talent and skill and amazing abilities in the
world, but they're tearing your team apart. It's
just not worth it. It's never going to be worth
it. And another thing is you should go find your
own people. You know, you use these retreads
like Schottenheimer used to do, and Carl Peterson
were so famous at it. Rest in peace, Marty Schottenheimer.
Yeah, yeah, we love you, Marty. But, you know,
one of the reasons you never found the promised
land was because you've got retreads. Yeah. You
have to draft your guy. Yeah. Draft your guy,
and you have to make sure your guy is a success.
Ask Andy Reid. Yeah. You know, he never made
it. He made it to the Super Bowl once, but that
was with Michael Vick before the Chiefs. And
that was not his guy, but that was a guy that
went to prison, came out, and he helped rehab
him and make him hopefully a decent person. He
seems to be now. I don't think I'll ever like
him because of what he's done. Yeah, it's tough
to get over that. Yeah, that's something I just
can't get over. But he drafted Donovan McNabb,
and he made him his own, and he was very successful
with the guy. He took that guy as far as he could.
Yeah, yeah. You know, so anyhow. Okay. How many
years does Andy Reid have left in his coaching
bucket? I'm going to go for four. I'm going to
say five. Five, 26, 27, 28. Yeah. Four or five.
Four or five, yeah. Yeah, I think if he gets
another two rings, he doesn't care anymore. He's
like, you know what? I am the greatest. Look
at it. Just look at it. Bill Belichick never
went to the Super Bowl with another team. No.
Not even close. He went to the playoffs with
the Browns maybe one year. He was the coach of
the Browns. Did he go with it? Briefly, the Patriots.
The Patriots. I mean, the Jets. Briefly, the
Jets. But he never made it there with the Jets.
No. No, I think that's it. I believe that's it,
yeah. Now, as a coordinator, here's what Bill
Parcells. That's true. He very well could have
been to the Super Bowl there. Yeah. But so was
Andy Reid in Green Bay. True, true. Anyhow, I
mean, it doesn't matter. I mean, he's a Hall
of Famer, and it's always going to be debated
who's the best coach ever, and you're never going
to be able to quite prove it. Yeah. The comparison
I'm thinking is both Andy and Bill Belichick.
Have the philosophy of move on from a player
before they're used up. When they're starting
to decline, if you've got somebody on the way
up, then deal the older player and get value
for them and move on with the younger one. Unless
you can get a great deal like Juju Smith -Schuster.
Yeah. He's a great mentor. He is, and that's
important too. The difference between the two
coaches is Andy does it and is still seen as
a likable, sympathetic figure. Bill Belichick
does it, and for the majority of his career in
New England, he seemed to be Mr. Stoneface, impenetrable,
I don't want to know you, brick wall kind of
guy. Now he's at UNC, and he's a grinning fool.
I know. Well, that young girlfriend may have
a little bit to do with it, too. Yeah, I guess
he's getting a lot of hand jobs or something.
Or something, yeah. Or just walking out there
with her. Yeah. He could be malfunctioning down
there as ever in his 70s, and that thing may
be Limp Noodle fucking Jones or whatever. But
the thing is, it doesn't matter. When he walks
out, he's got that hot young piece next to him,
and everyone's like... I don't care if he's a
dick. That guy's the man right there. Look at
him. Yep. And as long as the team is successful,
nobody at the university is going to care what
kind of spectacle he makes. And I do think he's
going to be successful there. Probably so. Can
you imagine the recruiting? It's like... Hey,
let's go fuck the coach's wife, man. Yeah. Yeah.
Maybe we'll get some shots of her. Yeah. So,
yeah. I think that... You know, it's like a guy
down the road. I don't know. Damn, I can't think
of any names that are out there, coaching names
that have been around. So that guy or Bill Belichick.
You mean the guy with all the rings? Yeah, that
guy. He's going to win a lot of them just because
his last name is Belichick. Yeah, absolutely.
All right. Do you look for spags to take the
helm post -reed? I don't think so. I think he's
going to move on by that time. Someone's going
to grab him. I don't see him graduating to head
coach. No, that doesn't seem to happen all that
much anymore. And I don't see Spagnuolo staying
here and doing that. Because then he's got the
shadow of Andy Reid to work out from under. That's
the point I was going to make is you've got a
hell of a, maybe the greatest coach ever, and
you're supposed to get into the shadow of that?
No, you can't do that. Yeah, he'd be better off
in a new situation. Yeah, and someone's going
to pick him up before then. I think so. Yeah,
someone's going to go, man, this guy's just been
too good. I think the next season where we have
a dominating defense, he'll be gone. Yeah, I
think so too. Yeah. And I don't know, you know,
it could be this season. And I'll give you a
little example right now. Okay, we're playing
the Chicago Bears. Yeah. And they're looking
good. I mean, listen, it's preseason, but they
just got done beating the Bills 31 -0. It was
38 -0. 38 -0, that's right. 38 -0. But it's preseason.
Okay, so you got... people, you know, trying
and all this. And the Bears are probably trying
to establish a pattern of winning a little bit
more than the Bills and the Chiefs. But here's
the deal. We were 17 to nothing with points on
the table. This includes the defense and the
offense. And this is the first stringers against
the first stringers. So take out four quarters.
And let's just go with 17 points and see what
you got there. I have a 61. Yeah. In four quarters.
61 to nothing. Of course, they'll probably score
a couple of empathy touchdowns or I don't give
a shit. You know, I got to go rest my guys touchdowns.
But the thing is, is this right here. They, that
defense, that first string defense looked as
good as any ones that I've seen. Now, this is
just a preseason game, and maybe the guys weren't
huffing it as fast as they could. But the preliminaries
look pretty good, these younger guys that they
kept. I'd say so, yeah. Yeah, I mean, like Justin
Reed, we love him. But they couldn't pay for
him, number one. But number two, this is kind
of like on the offense where they have royals
in there and stuff like that that are grooming
to take the helm of these people that are going
to be let go because they don't pay for them.
So it's going to be the key, key people they
keep, like Butker, they pay him. Mahomes, they
pay him, of course. And it's going to be interesting
because I think Royals is going to play a huge
part. I do too. And also, when this Rashi Rice
suspension of probably five games comes down,
I think Royals is going to be in there, and I
think Royals is going to look almost as good
as Rice. A couple of days ago, actually it was
more like a week ago, I saw a headline for a
story saying that there is credible talk that
Rasheed Rice's suspension could be for double
-digit games. It depends on, I think, when did
Adam Schefter say it's going to be five? Then
probably it's going to be five. Yeah. To be perfectly
honest. which we rarely do on this show, my news
feed, I've caught them lying to me over and over
with fake stories. Yeah, they get you in by saying
it's going to be double digit. You're like, oh,
shit. Then you click on it and it doesn't actually
say that. Yeah, there's nobody actually saying
that, but they just know what I'm going to click
on. And it goes, it could be double digits, but
probably not. And it's like, oh, well, that's
where they got it. Yeah. Are people driving away?
Yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah. Cool. So, anyhow, let's
see. How long does Mitch Holtus have left in
the Chiefs play -by -play booth? When is he done
tasting the sweet nectar of the booth? God, I
wish he would have been done already. But let's,
he'll probably last another couple years. I think
he'll be there for three years more, and then
he's just going to retire. Yeah. I don't think
they're going to get rid of him. And realistically,
he's kind of aging out of who he's actually talking
to on the radio. I mean, a lot of older people
like, old people like me listening to the radio.
But there's a lot of other people listening,
like the streaming service or whatever. It's
the guy who's been there for I don't know how
many years, and he's an old guy, and he's not.
It just sounds kind of weird when he tries to
use the latest buzzwords. Oh, I know. It just
sounds awkward. So for image, if nothing else,
to make sure they attract the right audience,
I think Mitch Holtus is, you know. Three years
or less. That's what I'm thinking, too. And then
they're going to be grooming that guy. Yeah.
And I'll tell you, it's kind of like when they
brought on Ryan Lefevre and Denny Matthews is
still there. He's still there, as a matter of
fact, I think, isn't he? I think so. On certain
games. He doesn't do all of them, though, because
he's almost 80. Here's an interesting thing to
think about. The Chiefs radio broadcast has never
had a person of color. That is interesting. Mm
-hmm. Hmm. And you're talking about like the
main, you know, like commentator, not like Dane
and Hughes. Yeah, the main play -by -play guy.
Yeah, Dane and Hughes on the field running over
and going, and I just witnessed so -and -so in
the oxygen tent, you know, and all that stuff.
Yeah, the sideline reporter. They have Kimmy
Chex down there doing the sideline. And it's
like, how about putting a woman of color in the
booth doing the play -by -play? Or is that too
scary for the Chiefs? I think they've got to
find somebody first. Yeah. And then they've got
to... Five, ten years ago, they would have been
looking for the next Jake from State Farm and
putting him in the booth because he was everywhere.
Yeah. And then, you know, you see him and then
lookalikes in all sorts of places and stuff.
So whoever's kind of the hot image when Mitch
Holtis finishes, that's probably who they're
going to look for. I think so. The hot hand.
Yeah. So. All right, will Mitch Holt just ever
go national like Kevin Harlan? I think that's
pretty simple. I don't think so, no. No, no.
He doesn't have the national appeal. He's just
kind of awkward and goofy. Yeah, he does. He
has too much ump and not enough smooth. Yeah.
Kevin Harlan was constantly backing up everything
he said with examples or stats, but he never
sounded like a know -it -all. No. No, no. He
would tell you exactly what was going on. And
he was so smooth. Yeah. So fluid. Mitch Holter
says all the passion and excitement, but that
only goes so far. Yeah, yeah. So, yeah, I agree
with you. Okay, will the Chiefs' new stadium
be in Kansas? I think so. I think so, too. Yeah.
They have the money for the magical retractable
roof for the magical Super Bowl expedited in
the next few years. Yeah. And you want to do
this while you've got the hot hand. Well, yeah,
you definitely need to do this while Mahomes
is still playing and playing well. Yeah, yeah,
you don't want a Matt Castle in there when you
get the Super Bowl. So, yeah. Yeah, it's going
to be in Kansas. I believe so. And the other
day, you know, I told you about my cousins, you
know, were in town, and one of them had appendicitis
and, you know, had to have a surgery and everything.
We're talking to a guy in there, and we're talking
about where the new stadium was because, you
know, my cousin's from Canada, and he's a Chiefs
fan now and everything. Good man. Yeah, yes.
Oh, yeah. As a matter of fact, one of his daughters,
she goes to a school in Indiana that's close
to Ohio. And her boyfriend is somewhat of a Bengals
fan and a Cowboys fan. And so as soon as Taylor
and Travis got engaged, I sent word to him that
now Taylor has more rings than the Bengals. I'm
waiting for a reply. So, anyhow, and I don't
even know the guy. I've never met him, and he's
lovely. Everybody loves him and everything. He's
a nice guy and everything, but I can't help it.
I'm trying to think if Taylor Swift had even
been born yet when Dallas won their last ring.
Well, that's a good, let's see, what was it,
95, 96? Somewhere around there. What was it,
the early 90s? It could have been the early 90s.
Yeah. I mean, if it was 95, then that was 30
years ago. And is Taylor Swift 30? I don't think
so. It's pretty close. Okay, it's close. That's
kind of neck and neck there. Somebody has to
look that up. I did see a meme somewhere. That
will be my next one. They showed pictures of
all these people. All these people have been
born since the Cowboys won their last ring. Oh,
I saw that. And it was like, damn, this guy's
been around forever. That's pretty mean. Justin
Bieber was already on his back getting sweated
on. Yeah. Way after the Cowboys won. Getting
passed around at a ditty party. Yes. With baby
oil. Yes. Not bought from Costco. Passing Justin
Bieber this direction, and Courtney Love gets
passed that direction, and Britney Spears gets
passed that direction. And it's argued which
one's the better one out of all of them. I think
I'd go Britney. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Britney Spears
always reminded me of the actress who played
Laura Palmer on Twin Peaks. I can't remember
the actress's name off the top of my head. What
was her name? And she does. Yeah. And for a while,
it seemed like she was trying to imitate the
character's life, too, by being, you know. The
schoolgirl. Yeah, yeah, when she came out. And
to me, that was so obvious. That was pedophilia.
Mm -hmm. You know. The schoolgirl dancing around
sexy. Yeah. Oops, I did it again. With a sock
on her hand. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah. Anyhow,
that's a whole different subject. But anyhow,
okay. How were we so blind? I know. I think even
then I was kind of like raising my eyebrows.
Oh, yeah, I remember being creeped out by that.
Yeah, and I was much younger, and I was still
like, I don't know about this. This is not really,
anyhow. All right, and finally, do you believe
it will have a retractable roof as in the stadium?
In the new stadium, definitely, yes. Yeah, I
don't think it's going to settle for anything
else. No, no. I'm curious to see what form it
takes. I think the roof that slides to the side.
is probably the best choice. I believe that's
going to be it right there. Yeah. I saw an example
of a soccer stadium where, excuse me, in order
to make sure all the grass on the field got all
the right sunlight, excuse me, they would retract
part of the roof and then slide the rest out
of the way. Yeah. So you can do a combo there.
I got one for you. And this is something that's
been batted about. And my understanding is at
one time it was a definite go, but they couldn't
get the funds sealed. Both stadiums next to each
other were the shareable retractable roof. That
was the plan, to have a roof on rails that they
could slide between the two stadiums. But, yeah,
they didn't have the money for it at the time,
and then they built things that made it impossible
to retrofit it. Yeah, yeah. And that's too bad,
too. And in the middle, you know, when everybody's
tailgating. You put that in the middle there.
Uh -huh. Yeah, and everyone's under there. If
it's raining, nobody gives a shit, you know?
Yeah, yeah. Kind of like Fremont Street, if you've
ever been there. Yes. Fremont Street essentially
has a cover over it. It's open air, but it has
a cover over it. It's not like it ever rains
there. No, I was going to say, one day a year
when it rains, you're covered. Don't worry about
it. Yeah, I wish that would happen. I just added
this on. Do you think that one of the counties
like Johnson County that has the money or even
Wyandotte County who has the money might come
up with this and go, we want both of you and
here's our plan? Yeah, I think that would actually
make a lot of sense because you need a covered
baseball stadium a lot more than you need a covered
football stadium. Yeah, you know how many games
that they would get in because they have a cover.
I mean, not dome, obviously, but at least a cover.
And at least with a cover, you can keep it a
little warmer than the surrounding temperature.
Because some of those games I remember in late
September, early October. The players were out
there. You could see their breath. Even March.
They had, like, gloves on, and they're freezing
their asses off. So if there was a cover over
that, they could be pumping heat out there and
probably raise it five, six degrees. That would
help. March and April, too. Oh, yeah, absolutely.
I mean, and they could have heat lamps and blowers
on their roof, their retractable roof, too. I
mean, there's all different types of things they
could do. And I know rain delays are a historic
and traditional part of the game, but really,
who would miss them? If there was never another
rain delay, would anybody be sad? And another
thing is the injuries that occur in the wet field.
Oh, that's true. That's true. So, I'm not convinced
that that is not going to come up. Yeah, I would
be surprised if they've moved on from that. That
has to be still a serious consideration, is put
the two of them together and have the shareable
roof. And who would not jump for that? They're
never going to use both stadiums at the same
time. Ever. Nope. So one roof is fine. And also,
it would guarantee Missouri is no longer a player.
Oh, that's true. Clay County, Jackson County,
any county. None of them would be a player because
none. Cass, Jackson, Clay does not have the capital
to do this. And Cass doesn't even want them.
Cass has never been a player. They don't care.
They have the Harrisonville Wildcats, so why
would they go after the Chiefs? Yeah. Yeah. The
Strasburg Goons. It's happened a couple of times
where a team has gone way out of town and still
used the name of the town like the... the Los
Angeles Angels of Anaheim was a good example.
I used to hate that shit too. It's like, okay,
then we're the New York Royals of Kansas City.
Yeah. It's like, there's no limit on how far
it has to be. Yeah, I would just be a complete
dick about it and come up with like a five sentence.
The... Kansas City Royals of a town that's kind
of south of Kansas City and actually in a different
state. And then read off the latitude and longitude
and just go on and on. Yes. But, of course, the
radio announcers and TV announcers, they are...
contractually obligated to call them by that
stupid name. And wouldn't that be great? Every
time you hear Ryan Lefevre go, yes, over in Johnson
County, which is not actually a part of Missouri,
but it is a part of the Kansas City Metroplex,
in the stream southern western edge of it, down
kind of near Olathe, but not quite in between
Olathe and Overland Park. In the former tornado
alley. Yes. It's on and on. We do have tornado
bunkers in the new Be Safe Field. Yeah, at the
new Kauffman Stadium. I wonder what the name
of the new Chiefs Stadium would be. Would they
call it the new Arrowhead? You know, that's a
good point. I think they would want to hang on
to the Arrowhead name and they'll just sell their
naming rights to the field. What about Giha?
Yeah, it's like Giha Field at Arrowhead Stadium
right now. Just like in Denver, it's FedEx Field
at Mile High. I don't know if it's still FedEx
or not. So I could see them saying it's, you
know, the Jimmy Dean Sausage Field at the new
Arrowhead. Yeah, or if you're talking about the
Raiders, it'd be Massengale. Massagale douches.
Summer's Eve. Yeah, Summer's Eve. I was watching
a car show the other day, and racetracks are
now getting naming sponsors. And the world -famous
Donington. Racetrack is now the Simply Sausages
Donington Racetrack. Their sponsor is Simply
Sausages. And everyone is required during the
broadcast to call it the Simply Sausages Donington
Racetrack. I can hear Joe Buck right now. At
the Simply Sausages field. At Donington. Or the
way things are going, how about, you know, here
we are at the new Royal Stadium. It's the Pornhamster
Field at Royal Stadium. Pornhamster. Here, Troy
Aikman. Here we are at the Pornhamster Field
in Kansas City area. Brought to you by the KY
Jelly Fan Club in the fan area. Oh, wait a minute,
wait a minute. That's my personal note. Let me
see here. Let's see. Today is rubber dildo day
at the baseball park. Oh, hang on, hang on. Who
gave you that? Who the hell gave me that? Instead
of bobbleheads, it's bobbledicks. Bobbledicks.
Well, hell, humans pouring everything else up.
Why not pouring up baseball? I'm sure they find
a way. Hey, rather than let baseball die and
fade away to nothing, they'll porn it up. Make
them play pantsless. Ooh. There we go. There
we go. Yeah. Ooh, is that his bat in his hand?
Hey, look, they can drive trucks up here. No,
that actually fit in. Oh, God. But look over
there. They can drive a truck in on a bridge.
Wow. Look, they have that little thing there
where it takes it in there, and I guess they're
putting all the products inside that little cove.
That's kind of like when they drive a car into
the showroom of the car dealership. It's like,
how the hell did you get it in here? Yeah. It's
like weird seeing a truck there. Yeah. Deliveries
must get through. I would lie and tell them they
took it apart and put it back together. Or how
about the trucks on the truck stop? They put
the big... Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's got to
be a helicopter taking that sucker up there.
Yeah, and supposedly they're real trucks. Yeah.
I mean, I would just like do a shell and make
it easier. Yeah, really. Yeah. We need to send
a drone up, take a look. Yeah, I don't see an
engine in that. New two douchebags expose. Is
this a real truck or not? Someone be living in
it like a grocery sign. Squatter in there. Squatter
in there. Let's see, where was it? I think it
was Lake of the Ozarks. Someone was squatting
in a Dollar General sign for a couple of years
and they caught him. Wow. Yeah, I mean, I will
let them keep living there. I'd be like, do you
need any more blankets or anything? Now you're
being safe, okay? You have GFCIs, right? Yes,
I do. Okay. All right. Okay, and remember, 10
o 'clock, all lights out. We don't want to pay
too much electricity, okay? We are Dollar General.
Everything's a buck. Yeah. Not really. All those
neon lights, a lot of interference. It's like,
turn the lights off, man. I can't get my Wi -Fi.
Yeah. I can't get my phone signal in here. Even
though you're a homeless squatter, you still
have Wi -Fi to worry about. That's right. Yes.
And you also have rights, so you can barge into
any house and stay there for three days and legally
own it. Actually, in England, did you know that
trespassing in England is not an arrestable offense?
Wow. That doesn't surprise me. You can prosecute
them for trespassing, but the police will not
come out and make anyone leave. Well, you know,
looking at England's recent history, that does
not surprise me. And I'll just leave it right
there. It's important to remember a lot of those
European countries do not have freedom of speech.
No. That's an American thing. That's an American
thing, yes. And there have been, I saw an incident
on the news just the other day where someone
in England had posted an insult online to someone
else. And the police came to his apartment, arrested
him, and confiscated his electronic devices for
insulting somebody online. That's, wow. Scary.
Yeah, it is. Yep. It is, and I hear people all
the time poo -pooing the freedom of speech. That's
one of our treasured... Treasured rights. We're
taking full advantage of it right now. Yes, we
are. Thank God for the Second Amendment. Or wait,
Second Amendment, First Amendment. First Amendment.
Second Amendment is guns. Yeah, yeah. And let's
see. The First Amendment guarantees that we can
torture people that choose to have this done
to them. Yeah. The 16th Amendment was the one
that gave the government the right to impose
an income tax, so that one's got to go. Yeah,
that one's going, yeah. I want to see how income
tax is next year, because we're supposedly saving
all this money on everything, and the deficit's
down, so do they need as much of our money? You
know how addicted they get to the money. It's
like when you buy concert tickets. They never
want to give them back. No, no. You get credit.
We'll get tax credits. Yeah. Oh, that pisses
me off so bad. Yeah. Yeah, and also, you know,
that big check that's supposed to come in, you
know, Elon Musk and all that. Oh, we just sent
everybody $6 ,000 and it turned into, well, maybe
not $6 ,000, maybe tax credits. It's like, fuck
you and your tax credits. They'll give us a prepaid
Visa gift card. Yeah. It's only good at gas stations
and mobile phone centers. Yes, and that's it.
Okay, all right. We're getting into douchebag
territory here. We are douchebaggy. All right,
you got something? Yeah, Chiefs defensive tackle
Derek Nottie is back with the Chiefs. I love
this. He went off during free agency and signed
with the Jets, and then the Jets made a couple
of big trades. And let's see. Did I put down?
No, I didn't put down who they drew. But anyway,
they traded for a couple people during the offseason,
and Derek Nottie was suddenly the odd man out.
So they traded him back to the Chiefs, and he
is an important part of that pass rushing package.
Yes, he is. The Jets love us. They gave us Hardman,
who was like a star. And, no, there was the Giants
that let, what's his name, Tony go. Yeah, Darius
Tony. So, yeah, the Jets have been really good
to us. And that's great because Derek Naughty
was an essential part of that pass rush. Yeah.
So now you have Naughty in the mix also. Yep.
I mean, Naughty, Karloftis, Jones. O'Manahue.
O'Manahue, yeah. That's, I can't think of a better.
That's pretty beastly. It is. And then you get
blitzing linebackers and blitzing safeties. You've
got Nick Bolton. I mean, yeah. Drew Tranquil
when he gets healthy. Drew Tranquil, yeah. Drew
Tranquil was really a true pickup from the Chargers.
Oh, yeah. I could not believe it when we got
him. I'm like, they let him go? I was surprised.
Yeah. That guy's a beast. He is. So the better
our pass rush is, We can maybe afford to lose
a Justin Reed. Yeah. I mean, it sucks because
if you had Justin Reed in that lineup too, I
mean, geez. But still, you know, we have some
younger guys, Jaden Hicks and Connor. You know,
we have some people that can do it. But with
this. pass rush that we have, you're going to
be flushing him out of the pocket anyhow. Yeah.
You know, you can have people in there breathing
down their back, which means that your cornerbacks
and your safeties are going to have a much easier
time, or should. And then have an outside linebacker
who's waiting on the perimeter for when they
get flushed out. He runs right in and splats
him. Yeah, I call that the Josh Allen rule. It's
like, oh, you got out? Okay, that's good. Now
I get you. The only thing is, Josh Allen, he's
so fucking elusive and huge. He is. He's huge.
That's why they call him Josh Alien. Yeah. He
is not... I swear, if you gave him to Andy Reid,
I'm not so sure that you would not get the same
results as you do with Mahomes. Yeah. But then
again, you know what? I can't... No. Okay, hang
on. Who knows? I can't really say that because
Mahomes pulls shit out of his ass. That's true.
It's his imagination and self -confidence that
really put him to play. Yeah, he doesn't care.
I thought Aaron Rodgers was so good at throwing
off balance in the air, fucking doing a somersault.
Mahomes is a magician. He is. Some of the throws
he made that he'll never get credit for were
his... Two seconds away from hitting a turf,
he somehow launches that ball with very little
elbow room. He's got so much arm strength that
he can still throw a tight spiral to someone
in the end zone that's two feet from the ground
while he's getting ready to hit the turf. Insane.
And nowadays, he can put the right touch on the
ball, too. I know. He didn't used to be able
to do that. That touch right there, they showed
it the very first game, the very first preseason
game this year. The only play that he was in.
The touch he put on that touchdown throw was
insane. Defensive coordinators around the league
went, oh. They're like, there's no way anyone
could get that except the receiver. No one could
get that. Yeah, everybody who's playing the Chiefs
this year got really nervous when they saw that.
And then they saw the first quarter of the Chicago
Bears game, and they're all like going, they're
crumpling up their notes right now. Yeah. And
going. You know, guys, just try to get him. Anyhow,
go ahead. I was seeing something. I'm trying
to remember if I got it reported here that Bears
coach Ben Johnson has been giving bulletin board
material to the Vikings. Oh, really? He made
some comment about – I'm not sure exactly how
this is working out. It was a comment about the
Bears. racking up 38 points to nothing over the
Bills. And he was saying, somebody was saying
something about the Bears' number ones are better
than the Bills' number twos. And then Coach Johnson
said something, I should have written it down,
but the gist of it is that he was comparing the
Minnesota Vikings to the Bills' second stringers.
Oh. And saying that his first stringers are going
to have no problem with the Vikings. And now
the Bears have to go into Minnesota, I believe,
on that first game and play in Minnesota. I can't
wait to see this. That might be exciting. Yeah,
it would. Caleb Williams out for the year? Let's
hope not. That is, in my opinion, a stupid head
coach. Yeah. You don't ever do that. A young
and inexperienced head coach. Yeah. What, his
second year, third year? You compliment them
so much that they love you. Yeah. Oh, man, I'll
tell you what. They are the envy of the league.
I mean, you could be talking about the Carolina,
or you could be talking about, I don't know,
the Raiders. You could be talking about a shitty
team, but you make them sound like the best team
ever. You listen to people like Andy Reid and
people like that. No, every team is just a split
-second away from just doing it all. They're
like, oh, they are so talented. And especially
in the preseason because you can lean on that
old standby, well, it's the preseason and nobody's
really game planning that much. That's what he
should have said. Yeah. I mean, why say something
stupid comparing your talent to their talent?
Just say it's preseason. That's why we scored
38 -0. It's preseason. It doesn't really mean
anything. Neither coach is worried about wins
or losses or anything. We're evaluating players.
I'm pretty sure McDermott understood. Yeah. The
Chicago team has not been winning. He's trying
to get them accustomed to winning where the Bills
aren't worried about. They know when they step
out on that first game, they have a good chance
of winning. Yep. The undefeated 72 Dolphins team
lost every preseason game. And back then they
played six. Oh, shit, that's right. Six preseason
games. Isn't that stupid? That's hell. Isn't
it? Yeah, there's nobody left. I know. Jeez.
Okay, well, yeah, that is a sign of a very inexperienced
young coach. Yeah. And I think he's going to
pay the price during the regular season. I believe
so. Yeah. Another thing about the Vikings is
they traded their quarterback Sam Howell and
a 2026 six -round pick to the Eagles in exchange
for a fifth -round selection and a seventh -round
pick the following year. And this was prompted
because Minnesota has agreed to terms with Carson
Wentz. Okay. The trade has been confirmed by
the Vikings. That they're trading Howell. Third
time he's been traded since 2024 when he went
from the Commander's 17 -game starter to a Seahawks
backup. That was his first trade. Oh, wow. Doesn't
that suck? Yeah. Okay, so they're traded for...
I'm going to take the Philadelphia route on this.
Why would they trade for Sam Howell? Well, Tanner
McKee fractured the top of his thumb. Okay. But
it seems that they wanted this trade regardless
of that. According to Michael Rappaport, the
Eagles were looking for another quarterback anyway.
So Tyler McKee getting injured was just kind
of coincidental. Jalen hurts his size and his
type of play. I think they're worried about that.
I would love to see teams start taking their
starting quarterback out for a few series here
and there. Well, that's what I'm getting at.
I think that Nick Sirianni, as much as I don't
like him, I think he's smart enough to do that.
I would like to see that start happening a lot.
Well, that's what our idea is with Minshew. Minshew
is not a bad quarterback. I would love to see
Minshew playing the last seven and a half minutes
of every game because Mahomes isn't needed anymore.
And Mahomes now is mature enough to where he'll
come out. Yeah. A couple years ago, he'd been
pissed. Yeah. I remember on the sideline, Andy's
trying to take him out. Fuck no! Fuck no! Yeah,
and he was sitting there. His leg's about ready
to fall off. He's screaming, fuck no. He's like
the Black Knight on Monty Python and the Holy
Grail. Oh, yeah. Yes. And guess who won? Mahomes
was out there the whole game. One -legged quarterback
kicking everyone's ass. Yeah, it was like, let's
see, who was it from ESPN gave their top five
quarterbacks? Mahomes, Allen, one -legged Mahomes.
That was beautiful. It was. They like went into
fucking Borough or something. I don't know. Or
fucking Baltimore. Okay. See, Aiden O 'Connell
is out for the Raiders. Fractured right wrist.
Expected to miss six to eight weeks. Was he their
starter or backup? He was going to be their starter
again. What the heck? I don't get that Aiden
O 'Connell love. He's never really shown anything.
Yeah. So this means that what's their name that
they got from Seattle? Smith? Jano Smith is going
to be their starter. Actually, they just signed
somebody that I saw this morning. Let's see if
I can find that again. So he's not so... Quarterback
signed by the Raiders. Kenny Pickett. That's
who they picked up. Kenny Pickett, okay. Yeah.
Well, okay, so. I could see Pickett stepping
in and being the starter. Maybe not first game,
but soon after. Pete Carroll in Seattle seemed
to love Geno Smith. Yeah. He brings him here,
and he was going to be the backup. So what happened?
Was he forced to use Smith over there after they
traded Wilson away? Yeah, I kind of think that
was it. Yeah, and maybe that led to him retiring
too. I don't know. Yeah. Okay. Interesting to
think about, but who knows. Let's see. I kind
of mixed up my story here. There's another paragraph
to that story buried down here. Okay. They're
saying O 'Connell's injury, big setback, especially
with the regular season fast approaching. Third
-year QB, has plenty of starting experience,
is thought to be the solid backup behind Smith,
trade in the offseason. But I had also heard
from a different story that Aiden O 'Connell
had been selected as the starter for week one.
Okay. So that throws that out the window. It'll
probably be Geno Smith, and then Kenny Pickett
will take over. Okay, I've got a question for
you a little bit different. Yeah. Do you think
that Aiden O 'Connell was progressing enough
to be a starter? I really don't. I don't either.
I think that Geno Smith is just starting to show
age, and I think the coach realizes that 17 games
of Geno Smith is just not going to happen. He's
just going to wear out. Okay, so they just chose
to go ahead and start O 'Connell. Yeah, I think
so. So I guess that they're still in a rebuild.
Well, they should be, too, in a rebuilding mode.
Yeah. And I think that Pete Carroll knows this,
and he is, quite frankly, he's waiting for the
next Russell Wilson. Yeah. But the thing about
Pete Carroll is he's so good. He came from the
West Coast. He's so good at identifying talent
from the Pac -12 or 10 or whatever, like the
Pac -10 and all the leagues over there on the
coast. He is so good at identifying talent from
there. He's got a good pipeline. Yes, he does.
So I could see him maybe getting another steal
of a quarterback like Russell Wilson from there.
Yeah. Okay. All right. What else did it pick
up? I cut off. Cam Miller. Who is he playing
for? I cut that part off. Cam Miller. Anyway.
What position does he play? Quarterback. Quarterback.
Cam Miller. Vying for a roster spot. Tennessee.
Or is that Cam Ward? Cam Ward. Yeah. Yeah, not
Miller, Cam Ward. I'm going to have to figure
out my printing here because it's cutting stuff
off. Anyway, Cam Miller, rookie Cam Miller might
not even make the team. Okay, I don't believe
he was a first rounder, was he? I don't think
so. In the Saturday game, he had 102 yards on
12 of 24 passing, but a good chunk of those came
during the final drive in garbage time. Maybe
it was a little late. I was not cutting and pasting
properly. Oh, well. Let's see. The Saints haven't
quite picked their starting quarterback yet.
Kellen Moore is not quite ready to name it. It's
between Spencer Rattler and rookie Tyler, I don't
know, Shou, Shuff, S -H -O -U -G -H. However
that's meant, Battle Snatch. It's been a tight
competition between those two, but I don't know.
I think if it's really close between the two,
you go with the veteran who played last year
and not the rookie. Sorry, I'm answering my cousin.
He's on his way back to Canada now. All right.
I'll keep going. All right. Cleveland's final
opportunity to evaluate their quarterbacks prior
to the regular season saw some kind of mixed
results. They wrapped up their 2025 preseason
with a 19 -17 win over the Los Angeles Rams.
Joe Flacco has been named starter for week one.
Turned in a respectable showing. Flacco competed
9 of 10 for 71 yards with a touchdown pass to
tight end Harold Fannin. And let's see, Ben Johnson
wrapped, oh, there's bears. Shadur Sanders has
made the 53 -man roster. They dealt Kenny Pickett,
which freed up a spot. So now they have Flacco,
Dylan Gabriel, and Shadur Sanders. and still
not talking about Deshaun Watson or anything
about him. You read any story about the Cleveland
Browns, and they pretend that Deshaun Watson
doesn't exist anymore, even though he's still
on the roster. Oh, I know. He's still on the
team. Yeah, and the thing is, is people are speculating
if they're going to actually introduce him to
the team again. Is he going to start, or is he
trash? personally think he's trash. I think they're
just waiting for him to come back and then they're
going to go, we don't want you. Yeah. I mean,
the last I heard of him was before Traving, like
last May. They said he was in the facility and
he was throwing balls to some backup receivers.
It's like, well, I thought it was his throwing
arm that was hurt. Yeah, that's what I thought
too. So was he throwing it left -handed? So the
story didn't seem to make a lot of sense. No,
there was something more going on there. Yeah.
And I thought there was some more. Wasn't there
more lawsuits coming up or something? Mm -hmm.
Okay. And then who was it? Justin Tucker? Mm
-hmm. Got attention for the exact same thing.
So all of a sudden Cleveland is like, let's be
quiet for a while and let him take the heat.
Let Tucker absorb it. Yeah. Well, it's good.
It couldn't happen to a better prick from what
I understand. Really? Yeah. And also Tucker was.
Was not good anymore. No, he was on his way down.
He was just kind of, I mean, he was still talked
about a lot because he had been good, but he
was coasting. Yeah, I think it was a combination
of age and also... too much distraction that
he caused. Yes. Yes. You know, he used to screw,
like to screw with opponents. He did that to
Kelsey and Mahomes where he'd go over there and
order them out of that part of the field. I'm
kicking here and being a dick and all that stuff.
Well, you know what? So if you're going to be
a dick, don't be in a glass house. Yep. Very
possible. Someone he fucked with was like, you
know, we found out some stuff. I was just going
to say that. If you keep pissing people off,
they're going to start investigating and say,
what can we find to shut this guy up? You motivated
them is what you did. You motivated them. And
every time the Chiefs kicked your ass in the
playoffs, I'm pretty sure they weren't thinking
Lamar Jackson. He's a complete gentleman. They
were thinking of you. They were thinking of kicking
your ass. Yep. So, yeah, Tucker. Your last name
is appropriate. So, all right, you got something
else? Let's see. Ben Johnson was wrapping up
his first preseason as Bears head coach. Okay.
Was not satisfied with his first two possessions.
He was saying, really sloppy football. That's
plagued us in and out of camp, and unfortunately
that's what we got here tonight. A number of
things we could do a better job of. Big problem
is that sloppy offense was led by Caleb Williams.
Yes. Johnson says he spent the last seven months
building a rapport that would be critical to
Chicago's success in this year and beyond. Their
first two possessions lasted nine plays, went
22 yards, and produced only one first down. They
punted twice. Among the slop, Williams fumbled
the very first snap on a mistimed jet sweep.
I remember that. Bears rookie Colston Loveland
followed that play with a false start. Yeah.
After a first down on their second drive, Williams
was sacked on a second and three. Following third
down, went nowhere. Mm -hmm. So, not so good.
Yeah, and... And then the Chiefs game, which
I didn't even really analyze them. I was analyzing
the Chiefs. They goose egg in the starters. Yeah.
Is Bien -Ami the running back coach there? Yeah,
he's running back's coach. Interesting. Because
Bien -Ami was so – I mean, I know he's not in
charge of the passing and the offensive line
and all that, but he is traditionally a fiery
guy that demands excellence. Yeah, yeah. And
I would think that if they put him on a team,
the rest of the people are like -minded. You
would think, yeah. Yeah. It's going to be interesting
how this goes because right now – They may look
worse than they did at the end of last year.
I mean, last year at least Caleb Williams knew
not to throw. I mean, he should have thrown more
actually. He should have thrown more. But he
was being extremely careful and cautious. But
also, put that against Mahomes. Mahomes isn't
careful or cautious. He trusts himself. That
confidence. Yeah, the confidence is what makes
him a winner. And you know what? If he throws
an interception, he's going to come back and
throw three touchdowns. That's exactly what I
was going to say. It's not only confidence in
your ability, but confidence that even if you
throw an interception or get sacked or something
else happens. It doesn't matter. It's not the
end of the world. You can still win. He goes
back to the sideline. He gets off on looking
at that film and going, you know what? Here's
what they're doing. Okay, let's stop them there.
I think I can throw one over here. Yeah. Yeah,
that whole strategy. Him and Reed are so good
at that. The brainstorming on the site. All that.
I want to go into Andy Reed getting a bullet
shot through his... Okay, Kansas City's full
of crime, as we know. Anyone that's from here
knows that the statistics are staggering how
bad it is. And bullets falling out of the sky
are kind of a problem. Yeah. My in -laws had
a hole in the roof of their sunroom that they
got one New Year's Eve. Oh, I remember that.
Somebody shooting in the air. Yeah. So Andy Reid's
office is no different. But this was a year ago,
and we only heard about it. A week ago. Yeah.
That's insane. Interesting that they sat on it
for a whole year. Yeah, it's interesting to know
that they can still keep a secret for a whole
year. So what else are they keeping? Yeah. It
kind of bothers me that they could be doing this
on players, injuries, whatever. They keep that
on the down low for a year, and I know sports
people had to have known it. They've had it been
told, don't cross us. Yeah, yeah. There was a
head coach that just yesterday was, or I saw
the story just yesterday, that he was hiding
the extent of the injuries to one of his receivers.
Which is illegal. And somebody, one of the reporters,
knew about it and called him out on it and questioned.
And the coach was like silent for a second and
then... He implied that he was going to go on
a mole hunt and figure out who the rat in his
organization was that told everybody. Perfect
example right there is he was trying to withhold
that information because it worked out better
for him. When it blew up in his face, now he's
pissed and he's going to look for the rat. Instead
of like, oh, okay, I did it wrong. I'm going
to do it right from now on. Now he's like, no,
I'm going to keep cheating. I'm just going to
be better at it. Yeah. Okay. That's the way you
want to do it. Go ahead. Yeah. But I just thought
that was pretty cool. Pretty clever that the
reporter was able to embarrass the coach publicly
by saying, yeah, we know you've been lying about
this shit. Here's what's really happening. Why
don't you address that? He's also going to get
the coach in trouble. That is strictly forbidden
by the NFL because, well, you can guess why.
Yep. Gambling. Yep. Yeah, you can really manipulate
and fudge things. Mm -hmm. Yeah. Yeah, that started
a long, long, long time ago that teams had to
be absolutely perfectly honest with the medical
condition of the players leading up to the games.
Who was out, who was questionable, who was doubtful,
all that stuff. They don't do it in college because
the majority of the players are under age 21.
They're minors, and you don't share health information
of a minor. Hey, there's a field trip. Look at
them. They're all looking at us. Oh, cool. Hey,
yeah. Hey, you guys want to come over here? Nah,
I think that's a solid no. No, their chaperone
was like, uh -uh. Oh, is that what happened?
Yeah. See the tall one in the back? Yeah. Yeah,
she's saying uh -uh. Yeah, look at the kids.
They're chomping at the bit. They want to come
over. Yeah, she's probably smart. Yeah, she's
probably smart. She's like, isn't that those
douchebags? Only they're doing a sports show.
Don't let them fool you. She's like, I smell
vinegar and water. Yes. Sportsmanship. Okay.
NFL wants players to have fun, but only within
the rules. The league will be emphasizing sportsmanship
and cracking down on violent and sexually suggestive
gestures this season. I'm all for it. No more
crotched grabbing, I guess. I'm all for it. I
am too. Unsportsmanlike gestures like simulating
or either... Shooting a gun or brandishing a
gun or inappropriate gestures like a throat slash
or unfortunate sexual gestures, those were up
133%, so that is a point of emphasis, said NFL
officiating rules analyst Walt Anderson. The
officials have made it a point to emphasize this
to the clubs. It's just one of those areas that
the league wants to work actively on. Plenty
of ways for players to be able to celebrate when
they come up with some of the very unique and
often entertaining ways, so we want them to focus
on those and not the inappropriate areas. In
April, the NFL expanded prohibitive acts to conclude
banning the nose wipe gesture that league executive
Troy Vincent said is affiliated with gangs. The
unsportsmanlike conduct rule now states that
any violent gesture which shall include, but
not limited to, a throat slash, simulating firing
or brandishing a gun, or using the nose wipe
gesture, or an act that is sexually suggestive
or offensive. Now there's where the judgment
comes in. Sexually suggestive or offensive. That's
everyone's personal opinion. Well, I got one
for you. The peace sign that Tyreek Hill does.
How is that offensive? I don't know. I've never
figured that out. Yeah. Yeah. It looked to me
like an easy way to tack on 15 yards for nothing.
Yeah, it looks to me like manipulation, which
you're talking about here too. I mean, a player
could legitimately have an itch on his kneecap
and reach down and scratch his knee and the official
throws a flag and says, that's a gang sign and
it means gang rape and 15 yards and you're ejected.
Yeah, I don't care for that. Yeah, they're just
leaving way too... But this is what the league
does. They build in areas of... That's exactly
what I'm saying. Utter judgment calls. Yeah.
Where it's just up to the personal opinion of
whoever's throwing the flag. That way you can't
say that they're being unfair or cheating. It's
just how they feel. Yeah. And also, you know,
you can see the betting line and which way it's
going and see maybe how some of these calls are
going. Yep. Just saying. It's a way to shave
points by eliminating the guy who just scored
the touchdown. Yeah. And say, oh, no, that's
a rude gesture. Now you're out. Yeah. Yep. Yeah,
you know, they could take your star. You know,
Mahomes could do something like scratch his elbow,
like you said, and then they throw a flag saying
it's a gang gesture, even though they know it
wasn't. They could take him out of the game and
we could lose, or vice versa. They could do that
to Shaquan Barkley. Yeah. You know, it's really
a subject, and the only problem is I don't know
how else you do it. I don't know how else you
clean it up. Yeah. It doesn't work to have the
teams do it. and police themselves because the
teams want to sell merchandise and they're going
to do whatever their fans want them to do to
sell more merchandise. Yeah, and it's going to
change year to year because there are things
that players do now that 25 years ago would have
been considered extremely unsportsmanlike and
everyone would be yelling at them and shaming
them for it. Yes. Standards change. So five years
from now, they're going to have to revisit this
and say, oh, yeah, the crotch grab is fine. Nobody
cares about that anymore. Yeah, because they
moved on to more violent, crazy shit. They're
like, oh, crotch grab's nothing. We get desensitized
is what happens. Tool wrote a song like that.
all about desensitizing and having it take more
and more to get a reaction. It's called Stink
Fist. And you can guess why it's called Stink
Fist. Yes. But that's what the song is about.
Peter J. Keenan is an interesting person. He's
a very smart man. He's very smart. Sometimes
too smart. But, you know, whatever it is that
got you off last week is now old hat, and you
need something a little more. Yeah, yeah, yep.
So every day you need something just a little
bit better than what you had before, otherwise
it's getting boring. That's where you get, like,
the lead singer of NXS accidentally hanging himself.
Yes. Yeah. Normal sex isn't exciting enough.
I don't have to try to pretend to kill myself
while having sex. Yeah, while beating off. Yes.
What a way to die. The guy who played Kung Fu
did the same thing. Oh, yeah, yeah. Was it David
or David Carradine? David Carradine, yeah. Autoerotic
asphyxiation that went a little too far. Went
a little too far, yep. Yep, trying to get that
rush. Well, yeah, gotcha. All right, well, you
got anything else you want to cover? I'm kind
of out of football stuff. Okay, well, let's go,
and then we can go on to the music creeps. Okay.
Okay, the first three games of the regular season,
how we think it's going to happen. All right.
The first one against the Los Angeles Chargers,
7 p .m. Friday, September 5th. I think the Chiefs
are going to win. Yeah. I think the Chargers.
They still strike me as a team that's a little
in disarray, and now they've got this legal issue
that they're going to get sued by the fans because
they promised them a home game against the Chiefs,
and then they moved it out of the country, and
they're not giving refunds. So with all the added
pressures of it being a primetime game, out of
the country, at night, blah, blah, added on to
that is their teams just, I don't think they're
quite settled anywhere. Yeah. So I can see them
getting jitters and getting out of their game
plan and just kind of crumbling. I do too. And
I want to see Jim Harbaugh get kicked in the
balls right off the bat. By a cheerleader. Yes.
Yes. Yeah. I want to see him get a ball infection
and have to run off the field screaming. I'm
really tired of... Is it Jim? Jim. The cheater.
Yeah, I'm just really tired of him. He's adopted
that kindly old grandpa demeanor to try to tame
everyone down. He's wearing all the baby blues
and he's got the glasses halfway down his nose.
He's often photographed with a puzzled expression
on his face and his mouth open like he's just
a kindly old grandpa who's a little confused.
Yeah, and look at Michigan. Yeah, it's all rehabilitating
his image, and I'm not buying it, and I don't
like being lied to, so fuck you, Jim Harbaugh.
Yeah, I'm the same. Okay, week two, 9 -14. This
is going to be Sunday, the feature game at 325
on Fox. The Philadelphia Eagles at home. Tough
game, I think. Both teams are really going to
be motivated, aren't they? 50 -50. You know,
and I think it's going to come down to a late
mistake. Yeah. That's it. Yeah. Kind of also
depends on the first game. If the Chiefs go down
to Brazil and just blow out the Chargers and
just romp all over them, then they might not
be ready for the Eagles. But if they have a hard
fight against the Chargers, then they're going
to be ready for the Eagles. You see, the Chargers
could be a trap game right off the bat, though.
Yeah, I know. That's just kind of weird. I don't
think so, because this is Andy Reid and Patrick
Mahomes. Yeah. That's why I didn't go trap game.
Yeah. It's because... Yeah. So that would make
the Eagles the trap game, possibly. Yeah, I would
think... Anybody in the organization would be
smart enough to point out and say, look, this
could be a trap game. We're smarter than that.
We're not going to fall for it, so let's just
not even worry about it. But actually, the real
trap game is this. Week three, New York Giants.
Yes. Now, the Giants are not horrible. They're
getting better. They're not a very good team,
but they are getting better. They are capable.
They could beat any team. They're about where
Denver was last year, aren't they? Yeah, pretty
much. Except without the hot quarterback. And
this is 7 .20 p .m. NBC, of course, Sunday Night
Football. Three primetime games in a row? Yeah.
Damn. I think most of their games are primetime.
I think we've got seven of them this year. I'm
still going with the Chiefs over the Giants.
Okay, so they have 7 p .m. Primetime standalone
game on Friday the 5th. Then the Eagles, 325
on Fox. That is the game of the week. Yeah, that'll
be the national game. The national game. 720,
Sunday night football against the Giants. The
Ravens, 325, the game of the week on CBS. Jacksonville
Jaguars, 715 on ESPN, which would be Monday night
football. Detroit Lions, 720 p .m. on NBC, Sunday
night football. The Raiders are a 12 o 'clock
game, not the feature game. I wouldn't think.
The Commanders, 7 -15, ESPN, ABC, which would
be Monday Night Football. The Native Americans
against the Native Americans. Yes. The Buffalo
Bills, 3 -25, CBS, feature game. Yeah. Denver
Broncos, 3 -25, feature game of the week. Indianapolis
Colts, nope. Dallas Cowboys. This would be the
Thanksgiving standalone 3 .30 late afternoon
game on CBS. Cowboys and Indians. Yep. The Texans,
the Houston Texans, 7 .20 p .m. NBC Sunday Night
Football. And then you have a couple of 12 o
'clocks with the Chargers and the Titans. Then
you have prime video, 7 .15 p .m., 12 .25 Christmas
against the Broncos. Oh, that's going to be so
fun. Yep, and then the Raiders are... to be determined
depending on where everybody is at. Yeah. So
over half, 70 % of their games are at least the
game of the week, if not a standalone. And, yeah,
the seven games that I was talking about, they
have seven games that start at 7 o 'clock. Yeah.
So depending on the last game of the season,
too. But going to be some late nights and people
being really worn out when they go to work the
next morning. Yes. So the thing is, is that right
there, I mean, That's not necessarily a bad thing.
No, no. Trial by fire. Yeah, I mean, to me, I
think the Chiefs feed on games like that. So
I think they're fine. It's bad news for everyone
who feels overexposed to the Chiefs. There's
no let up in sight. Oh, it's worse than when
the Patriots. It is, yeah. And they're more efficient
at it now, too. Yes, they are, yeah. I think
that what they're... What there is, is this right
here. They see history being made, and they want
to get every second of it. Yeah, yeah. What's
that old expression? Make hay while the sun shines?
Yes. Take advantage of your opportunities. That's
what they're doing. And I agree with them. I
would, too. And plus, you have Tay -Tay and Kelsey
now. Now they're engaged in Brazil. She's in
there in her box, luxury box in Brazil, hugging
little Brazilian kids. Adopting one, maybe. Adopting
one, yeah. No, wait. Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie
already did that. Oh, no, they got that coming.
She'll have one on her lap bouncing. Yep. Yeah.
What would his name be? Geraldo? Geraldo Hervé.
Geraldo Hervé on her knee. And that'll speculate
baby rumors. Oh, does she have a baby bump? Does
she have a baby bump? Oh, she's got a baby bump.
Look, she's bouncing a little Brazilian. Geraldo,
what was his middle name? Hervé. Hervé on her
knee. She must be pregnant. I imagine there's
probably already millions of dollars bet on when
Taylor's first child is going to be. Probably.
There's probably already a ton of bets being
placed on that. Yep. Boy or girl, probably. Yeah.
Bets on that. Yeah. A little Trav or a little
Tay -Tay. Hey, one of each. She could have twins.
Oh, that's true. Yeah. Wouldn't it be funny if
she had triplets? Ooh. Oh, yeah. And one was
black. Oh, wait, I'm sorry. No. Sorry. Throwback
gene. That has actually happened where a woman
had twins and they each had a different father.
Yeah, yep. That usually happens in, like, you
know, dogs and cats where they have litters.
Humans don't have litters. But this woman accidentally
had a litter. Boy, I'll tell you what. She had
some explaining to do, didn't she? Yeah. Well,
it might have been a three -way. You never know.
Oh, you know what? It could have been. It could
have been like, damn it. I thought he wore a
rubber. Shit. And one guy was like, damn, I'm
glad I was doing anal. Otherwise, I'd be a daddy.
I'd be a dad, too. Wow, we are douchebags, aren't
we? Well, I'm glad I decided she was talking
too much. All right, on that note, let's go ahead
and cut this bitch off. Okay. Hey, everybody,
thank you for listening. We really appreciate
it. And go fuck yourself.