WEBVTT

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Hey, you fucking derelicts. It's time for the

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Daily Douchebag Pledge. I, Joe or Jane Listener,

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hereby promise to download the show. I, Joe or

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Jane Listener. Hereby promise to grab other people's

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phones, unattended computers, public computers,

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and all of my work computers as well, and download

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the show from there. I, Joe or Jane Listener,

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hereby promise to make other people listen. I,

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Joe or Jane Listener. will hereby lie to everyone

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about how quality the show is. I, Joe or Jane

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Listener, promise to make all my family members

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listen and recite the daily douchebag pledge.

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And finally, I, Joe or Jane Listener, hereby

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promise to make the trek to Knobloch, Missouri,

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just to have a selfie with the Knobloch sign.

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Here at Two Douchebags and a Microphone, we don't

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stand behind our journalistic integrity. Go ahead

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and assume we got the story wrong. At least we

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admit it. Not like all those other guys, we can

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and will lie if it makes the story better. Two

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douchebags and a microphone. Tomorrow morning

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while grinding your coffee beans for your double

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mocha latte, remember to not get your genitals

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caught in the grinder. It really hurts. Who can

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afford plastic surgery? Stay safe, everyone.

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Your mama's so fat. When she went out to the

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pier, people tried to board her. Yes, it's true.

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Mark is an old bastard. It's also true that Mark

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uses a lot of ibuprofen. But Mark would like

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to tell you, if you see any pictures of him roofing

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ibuprofen, it's obviously fake, and you're to

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take the pictures and tear them up immediately.

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And now, Deep Thoughts with Mark. So let me see.

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Let's say I was offended by people being offended.

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Then would people being offended all the time

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would have to not be offended around me because

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I was offended by them being offended? Hmm. I

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may never know. No! This is Joshua Belmont, your

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food for thought man on the hustle. So I just

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realized a genius that gets absolutely no credit.

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His name is Marshall Taylor. He is credited with

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the first bag of salad mix that was bagged and

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sold. Yesterday was his birthday. I believe he

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is still alive. This guy's genius will never

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be fully appreciated. Before this man, we settled

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for iceberg lettuce with maybe a couple of croutons

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and some cheese. Was Mr. Taylor satisfied with

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that? Hell no. He realized that Billy Americana

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would never go out and buy a couple of radishes,

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a couple of carrots, a head of purple cabbage,

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maybe snow peas, and possibly some cute romaine

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lettuce for extra bougie. Mr. Taylor, you should

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have a national holiday. Hey, dickhead. No one

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gives an ounce of shit what you had for breakfast.

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Not even the person on the other end. You look

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like a mentally slow driv yelling into thin air

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all through the store. I pray that Bluetooth

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shorts you out and blows up your eardrums. What

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men consider self -centered dunce. Monty constantly

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coddled this dummy and it fucking shows. Go the

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fuck home and bore your dog. Wait, you probably

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forgot the theming because you're too busy looking

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in the mirror all day. Fuck off. Two douchebags

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and a microphone. I'm Mark here in the Kansas

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City area at the Talk is Cheap studio. Beautiful

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mangle arm of Blake of the Ozarks in a duck blind

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studio. Okay, well, I had family in town, right?

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And I told you about that. Okay, well, we're

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going to podcast Sunday night. But he was coming

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to town Sunday night. So I'm like, all right,

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okay, cool. And then I was going to podcast with

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Topher Tuesday morning. So, anyhow, that didn't

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turn out because as soon as he got to town, they're

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staying over in Overland Park. What it is is

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he's a first cousin from Canada, and his daughter

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might be going to school here on a soccer scholarship.

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So she had to go out. This is the second time

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at the school she's checking it out, and they

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made her another offer, a better offer. So we'll

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see. She might be going to school here. But what

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happened is she had appendicitis. About 20 minutes

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after they got to the hotel. So from their hotel,

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St. Luke's South, where I go to, it was about

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five minutes. They took her there, and they ran

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some tests, and it was like acute appendicitis.

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They have to come out. So they came out Monday

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morning, and they're headed back right now. They're

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headed back towards Canada right now. But everything

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turned out well. It was a crazy, oh, 30 -some

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hours. But it was interesting. Everything turned

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out good. He was really impressed with our medical

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system. And I told him, I said, you know, you're

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in the right part of town. In the right part

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of town, the medical system's great. In the wrong

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part of town, it's horrible because you're waiting

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in an emergency room because nobody has family

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doctors. Right, and they use the emergency room

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because that's all they can do. So anyhow, everything

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turned out well. The visit was well, and she

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might very well be going to school here, and

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that's fine with me. So we'll see what happens.

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There's another, there's a school in Kentucky

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that has her interest pretty well too, and they're

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about tied right now, so I don't know. So anyhow,

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I'm going to go back to Eureka Springs before

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that, a couple days before that. We're needing

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to withdraw some money for tips in Eureka Springs,

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you know, because people do stuff for you, you

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know, like the valet at the Flatiron Flats. And,

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you know, if they bring us stuff and all that,

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you know, okay. So I had to go to the bank and

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visit the ATM. So I'm making the withdrawal,

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and the fee for it was $4. I mean, what a scam.

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You know, I'm pissed, but I'm not going to go

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to Barry. Do what? Get your own money. To get

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your own money. To get your own money, they charge

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you $4. I was fucking pissed. And I think anyone

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else would be too. But I'm not going to drive

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all the way to Berryville, which is about 10

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miles away, to buy something at Walmart just

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to get a withdrawal without the ridiculously

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high fees. So I spot a basket right next to the

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machine, the ATM machine. It has roughly about

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30 pens in it with the bank's name on it. I'm

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so vindictive that I grabbed about 25 of those

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pens and kept them. I know. Yeah, what? Oh, no,

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you do your work for the podcast on a computer.

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I'm the one who uses pen and paper. Yeah, yeah,

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and I'm going to give them away or something,

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but I was so furious at that bank. I was like,

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all right, fuckers. Save a few for me. I need

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them, dude. Okay, I'll give them to you when

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I see you. I got like 25 of them in the car right

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now after I took them and I got my withdrawal

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and I left. I'm like, I don't fucking need these.

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Oh, well, it made me feel good. I'm like, all

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right, I got some fends from them. So anyhow,

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it's ridiculous, the fees. And now all the credit

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card companies, a lot of stores now pass it on

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to you. It's like $2 a transaction, which is

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just fucking robbery. It's robbery. They're already

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getting 20 % from people, fucking pretty much

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hijacking them. You know, and they're getting

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so much money from people and they still want

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to charge you $2 a transaction or something like

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that. And that's just ridiculous. Or 10%, I don't

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know, 2 % or whatever. I'd say the average is

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like $2 .95 or like $3. That's the average. That's

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ridiculous. That's what I give, yeah. And they

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want to take away paper money. They want to take

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away paper money. Everything's on plastic. So

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everybody else can make money. Yeah, yeah. Because

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then you, it doesn't matter. You can't get around

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these fees for nothing. You have to use your

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card. And if they jack it up to 10%, you have

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to use a card, you're fucked. Yeah, that's ridiculous.

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That's like when you use your, we've talked about

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you use your card at a restaurant and they ask

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about the tip. Well, they start at like 15%.

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Well, okay. Yeah, well, you know what I do now

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is I decline the tip and I just leave cash. And

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it's whatever I feel like. I don't figure out

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a percentage. If I think the lady or the guy

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was worth $10. They get it. If I think they were

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worth $5, that's what they get. I don't give

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one ounce of shit about percentage. And I'm not

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cheap either. If they do a good job, I will leave

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them over 20 % a lot of times. But the thing

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is, I don't like them telling me, well, we're

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going to start at 15 % and go up from there.

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I'm with you. It's like, no. You don't suggest

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shit to me. You don't suggest anything. What

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you do is... If you notice, we've been reading

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a lot of stories about that lately. restaurants

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that just automatically add gratuity. Yes, and

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that's another thing, too. For doing nothing.

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For doing nothing. And another thing is, is the

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people back there cooking the food, they don't

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even get it. Everybody else does. If it went

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back to the people cooking the food and stuff,

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then I could understand some of it. But, I mean,

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still, the thing is, is this right here. They're

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paying them to do that job. I'm in there buying

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something. from them so they can pay them to

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do that job. So after COVID, during COVID, they're

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like, oh, well, people aren't coming in. And

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this was their excuse. People aren't coming into

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the restaurants. So they're not making any tip

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money. You know, they're starving out here. So

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we're going to go ahead just on to -go orders

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because you can't come in right now because of

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COVID. We're going to go ahead and have you tip

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them. After COVID, they didn't take it away.

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They fucking left it. Even though we're going

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in restaurants now, and believe me, in Kansas

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City on a Friday or Saturday night, you're going

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to wait. Even at the worst restaurant, you're

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going to wait. People do not eat out. They do

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not eat in on the weekends at least, and most

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weekdays restaurants are packed anyhow anymore.

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So instead of taking it away, they left it on

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there. So if I order something to go, I've got

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to deal with this bullshit tip stuff again, and

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it's not right. That's right, Kyle, it's not.

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Yeah, if I'm going and getting it, tips should

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have nothing to do with it. People are doing

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their job that they're getting paid for, and

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I'm supporting the business by giving the business

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my money. So if you negotiate a job and you're

00:12:08.600 --> 00:12:09.940
like, you know what, I'm not going to do this

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for $20 an hour. I want $25. If you negotiate

00:12:13.519 --> 00:12:16.580
that, you're worth every penny of it, okay? If

00:12:16.580 --> 00:12:18.700
you don't negotiate that, then that's not my

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fault. You need to step up and say, you know

00:12:22.159 --> 00:12:25.539
what? It's not up to me to make up the difference

00:12:25.539 --> 00:12:27.600
of what they're not paying you. It's not up to

00:12:27.600 --> 00:12:29.240
you to make up the difference of what they're

00:12:29.240 --> 00:12:31.980
not paying them. You know, if you don't like

00:12:31.980 --> 00:12:34.299
the money that you're working for, you can go

00:12:34.299 --> 00:12:37.840
somewhere else. That simple. I've done it plenty

00:12:37.840 --> 00:12:40.940
of times. Have you, Rob? Oh, yeah, definitely.

00:12:41.179 --> 00:12:42.519
Yeah, you look at your paycheck and you're like,

00:12:42.580 --> 00:12:44.690
nah, this ain't cutting it. Actually, you know

00:12:44.690 --> 00:12:46.769
what? I don't like this place that much anyhow,

00:12:47.049 --> 00:12:49.070
so I'm going to go somewhere and make more money.

00:12:49.169 --> 00:12:51.690
I've done that many times. You have too. It's

00:12:51.690 --> 00:12:54.090
that simple. I didn't go around and go, hey,

00:12:54.129 --> 00:12:57.370
could I have some tip money? Because, well, I

00:12:57.370 --> 00:12:59.429
don't think this place is paying me enough. Believe

00:12:59.429 --> 00:13:01.110
me, when I was out there putting in glass and

00:13:01.110 --> 00:13:03.269
railings, I didn't go up to the super and go,

00:13:03.330 --> 00:13:07.090
you know, hey, can you add like 20 % on? I don't

00:13:07.090 --> 00:13:09.230
think they're paying me enough. See how well

00:13:09.230 --> 00:13:11.309
that would go, right, Rob? How well do you think

00:13:11.309 --> 00:13:13.929
that would go? Well, let's see here. Here's the

00:13:13.929 --> 00:13:19.070
problem. Here's the problem. It's not the waitresses

00:13:19.070 --> 00:13:23.509
that's doing it. It's the owners. Yeah, it's

00:13:23.509 --> 00:13:25.570
not them doing it. It's none of the people working

00:13:25.570 --> 00:13:27.769
there. They're not, like, suddenly demanding

00:13:27.769 --> 00:13:30.370
it. And a lot of times, I would like to see if

00:13:30.370 --> 00:13:33.690
that money even goes to them. Exactly. Exactly.

00:13:34.049 --> 00:13:37.190
Yeah, how can it be proven? Actually, I think

00:13:37.190 --> 00:13:39.809
I'm going to start talking to some restaurant

00:13:39.809 --> 00:13:42.990
employees around here. You know what? Because

00:13:42.990 --> 00:13:45.769
I'll bet you anything, it's a percentage that

00:13:45.769 --> 00:13:48.929
goes to them. It isn't all of it. They probably

00:13:48.929 --> 00:13:53.210
get like 5%, whatever. Yeah, yeah. And you're

00:13:53.210 --> 00:13:55.210
not going to read that anywhere. That's just

00:13:55.210 --> 00:13:56.970
like their rules. And if you work there, then

00:13:56.970 --> 00:13:58.649
that's it. Okay, you're going to get this much.

00:13:58.830 --> 00:14:00.889
Or even they probably don't even tell them anything.

00:14:01.429 --> 00:14:04.990
I mean, they're not privy to all the orders that

00:14:04.990 --> 00:14:09.309
came in and how much money is on there. Yeah,

00:14:09.389 --> 00:14:12.639
because there's a place. Right here that I love.

00:14:12.759 --> 00:14:18.919
I love the food. I love the ambiance. It's just

00:14:18.919 --> 00:14:22.759
that they call it, you know, you walk in, you

00:14:22.759 --> 00:14:26.519
order. They call your number. You've got to go

00:14:26.519 --> 00:14:29.179
up and get it. Uh -huh. And you've got to fill

00:14:29.179 --> 00:14:33.279
your own drinks. But when you go to pay with

00:14:33.279 --> 00:14:36.200
card, they automatically hit you with that 15,

00:14:36.279 --> 00:14:39.980
20, 25 % or two. Yeah. Yeah, that's bullshit.

00:14:40.799 --> 00:14:43.879
Yeah, you've got to do all the fun walking. Yeah.

00:14:44.360 --> 00:14:47.100
You've got to get up, put your trash in the trash

00:14:47.100 --> 00:14:50.019
can as you leave. No, if I'm sitting down and

00:14:50.019 --> 00:14:52.679
I'm getting full service, well, like last night,

00:14:52.799 --> 00:14:55.980
I gladly gave a good tip to the guy who went

00:14:55.980 --> 00:15:00.179
to Garozo's. Yeah. And my family from Canada

00:15:00.179 --> 00:15:03.059
are in love with Garozo's and chicken spadini

00:15:03.059 --> 00:15:06.259
in particular. They love that. And every time

00:15:06.259 --> 00:15:08.379
they come here, it's a staple. It's like, hey,

00:15:08.399 --> 00:15:11.750
can we go to that Italian place? Sure. We all

00:15:11.750 --> 00:15:14.049
went in there, we all sat down, and the guy pampered

00:15:14.049 --> 00:15:18.870
us. He got more than 20%. He was excellent. So

00:15:18.870 --> 00:15:23.850
I don't mind that. But hijacking me because someone

00:15:23.850 --> 00:15:26.370
doesn't get enough money or you say they don't

00:15:26.370 --> 00:15:30.970
is bullshit. So, yeah. So I'm with you, Rob.

00:15:31.029 --> 00:15:33.289
So you did all the work in this place, right?

00:15:33.429 --> 00:15:35.570
You did all the work, all the heavy lifting,

00:15:35.669 --> 00:15:38.769
except cooking the food, and you had to pay them

00:15:38.769 --> 00:15:42.289
for you doing the work. Before you got your food.

00:15:42.529 --> 00:15:45.710
Yeah, before you got your food. Yeah, and that's

00:15:45.710 --> 00:15:48.049
another thing that pisses me off, too, is they

00:15:48.049 --> 00:15:50.090
put it right there to where they can see whether

00:15:50.090 --> 00:15:52.429
you do or not. And you don't know, that might

00:15:52.429 --> 00:15:55.309
affect your order. That's another thing that

00:15:55.309 --> 00:15:57.649
pisses me off. You know, people have feelings,

00:15:57.769 --> 00:16:00.730
and people also get disgruntled and pissed off.

00:16:00.950 --> 00:16:04.970
And if they're having a bad day, and you come

00:16:04.970 --> 00:16:07.590
up there, and you don't tip them, and the...

00:16:08.100 --> 00:16:10.580
first three guys did or whatever, you might get

00:16:10.580 --> 00:16:12.539
a little bit less of an order. You might get

00:16:12.539 --> 00:16:14.919
some stale fries or something. That's another

00:16:14.919 --> 00:16:18.120
thing, too, is you're subject to how the people

00:16:18.120 --> 00:16:20.100
feel about you on that, too. You know, they might

00:16:20.100 --> 00:16:21.720
look at you and go, this guy didn't pay. That's

00:16:21.720 --> 00:16:25.340
a good point. Because, like I said, you pay as

00:16:25.340 --> 00:16:29.100
you order, so they see how much you tip. So,

00:16:29.139 --> 00:16:32.519
yeah, I get that. Exactly. Yeah, so it's really,

00:16:32.600 --> 00:16:35.200
to me, kind of a form of bullying. It's like,

00:16:35.200 --> 00:16:38.980
yeah. I might even. test that at that restaurant.

00:16:39.419 --> 00:16:44.679
You know what? I'll up my tip one night and see

00:16:44.679 --> 00:16:47.320
if I get more on the side. I've got an idea,

00:16:47.419 --> 00:16:50.940
Rob. Let's call this Douchebag Investigates.

00:16:52.679 --> 00:16:55.980
Yes. Okay? That's going to be your first assignment,

00:16:56.179 --> 00:16:58.259
and then I'll do stuff around here where I investigate

00:16:58.259 --> 00:17:04.619
stuff. Alright. That works. Alright. I like that.

00:17:04.680 --> 00:17:08.519
I do, too. I like that a lot. There's been other

00:17:08.519 --> 00:17:11.140
forms of it. This is nothing new. People have

00:17:11.140 --> 00:17:13.619
done this on the news, shows, everything, even

00:17:13.619 --> 00:17:16.220
morning shows. So, look, we're not doing anything.

00:17:16.599 --> 00:17:18.980
We're not groundbreaking here. We just think

00:17:18.980 --> 00:17:22.859
it would be a good idea, right? And our fans

00:17:22.859 --> 00:17:28.559
got to hear us actually come up with things for

00:17:28.559 --> 00:17:33.190
once. Yeah, yeah, yep. Brainstorm for once. like

00:17:33.190 --> 00:17:36.150
we do off the air. Yeah, yeah. It's actually

00:17:36.150 --> 00:17:38.150
just like that. That's how we come up with this

00:17:38.150 --> 00:17:40.069
shit. They finally got a nugget of gold out of

00:17:40.069 --> 00:17:43.269
us. Oh, they're probably like, phew, okay. I

00:17:43.269 --> 00:17:46.730
was worried. They're probably, yeah, they can't

00:17:46.730 --> 00:17:49.430
wait to hear. Oh, yeah. And then today, a pair

00:17:49.430 --> 00:17:53.089
of you heard the news. Taylor Swift and Travis

00:17:53.089 --> 00:17:57.130
Kelsey are engaged now, right? Actually, I had

00:17:57.130 --> 00:17:59.470
both. That's one of my stories, but yeah. Oh,

00:17:59.470 --> 00:18:01.410
okay. No, no, no. You can still go to it. Oh,

00:18:01.410 --> 00:18:07.170
no, you're good. It ain't like we're going to

00:18:07.170 --> 00:18:09.170
be the first to tell everybody. Everybody knows.

00:18:10.130 --> 00:18:13.630
But Cincinnati Bengal fans are pissed off because

00:18:13.630 --> 00:18:19.029
now Taylor Swift has one more ring than them.

00:18:23.529 --> 00:18:26.650
And I didn't come up with that joke. I'm just

00:18:26.650 --> 00:18:31.400
spreading it. I'm just spreading it. About to

00:18:31.400 --> 00:18:37.500
be two, yes. Engagement and wedding. Yes, she's

00:18:37.500 --> 00:18:42.759
going to have two more rings than you guys. In

00:18:42.759 --> 00:18:46.839
one day, in one day. I just thought that was

00:18:46.839 --> 00:18:51.160
funnier than hell. I've got to retell this tonight.

00:18:51.759 --> 00:18:58.470
Good job on that one. Thank you. Well, probably

00:18:58.470 --> 00:19:00.509
not now, but I got to look at our numbers. We

00:19:00.509 --> 00:19:05.190
had a pretty good little gathering of Cincinnati

00:19:05.190 --> 00:19:08.569
and area listeners, so we probably lost everyone

00:19:08.569 --> 00:19:15.470
up with that. So, anyhow. It wouldn't be the

00:19:15.470 --> 00:19:19.589
first Ohio person we lost. No, no, no, no. Ruthann,

00:19:19.710 --> 00:19:23.640
yes. Ruthann, yes. Yes. And then we had other

00:19:23.640 --> 00:19:25.700
people, but they quit listening, too, and it

00:19:25.700 --> 00:19:27.940
was probably because we keep taking jabs at them.

00:19:29.519 --> 00:19:34.920
Oh, well. Blame that music preach. Oh, yeah.

00:19:34.980 --> 00:19:38.660
God, yeah. Sports bastards. Sports bastards.

00:19:38.680 --> 00:19:41.099
We take jabs at them constantly. They're probably

00:19:41.099 --> 00:19:44.460
going to drive to Kansas City and beat our ass

00:19:44.460 --> 00:19:46.740
one day. They're going to say, hey, they're at

00:19:46.740 --> 00:19:49.079
the city market today. And over the last three

00:19:49.079 --> 00:19:56.460
years. Hey, look, I mean, if they're in our situation,

00:19:56.859 --> 00:20:00.380
they would too. They would too. Yeah, we're Chiefs

00:20:00.380 --> 00:20:02.859
fans. Hey, you know, and then all the fucking

00:20:02.859 --> 00:20:05.160
chest pounding that they did after they beat

00:20:05.160 --> 00:20:07.839
us that one time in the championship game, and

00:20:07.839 --> 00:20:10.160
all of that, and Burrowhead and all that, I think

00:20:10.160 --> 00:20:12.480
they kind of deserve a little ridicule. They

00:20:12.480 --> 00:20:14.980
were awful high on it when they did good, and

00:20:14.980 --> 00:20:18.500
now that they're losing to us again, you don't

00:20:18.500 --> 00:20:27.059
hear shit. You don't hear a peep. I just saw

00:20:27.059 --> 00:20:31.359
every one of our Ohio numbers go in the minuses.

00:20:32.099 --> 00:20:40.500
So, anyhow, back to Eureka Springs. No, we don't

00:20:40.500 --> 00:20:43.880
care. And if we did care, we'd probably be a

00:20:43.880 --> 00:20:47.279
little bit nicer to some people. Like Clint.

00:20:49.500 --> 00:20:56.859
Mitch. No, Mitch is actually... Clint is not

00:20:56.859 --> 00:21:01.019
funny. Mitch is funnier than hell. Clint has

00:21:01.019 --> 00:21:04.180
dropped off the edges of Earth. Yeah, and I...

00:21:04.180 --> 00:21:08.480
That's what I'm saying. I really believe Mitch

00:21:08.480 --> 00:21:12.339
made Clint his bitch. I think so. Yeah, and I

00:21:12.339 --> 00:21:14.680
keep taking jabs at him, but he's not responding,

00:21:14.779 --> 00:21:18.140
so... Anyhow. You know, I think that, like...

00:21:18.140 --> 00:21:22.099
I think Mitch... I think he couldn't find the

00:21:22.099 --> 00:21:24.880
Narcan. I think he reached for the Narcan and

00:21:24.880 --> 00:21:27.220
it was empty. I don't think there's any more

00:21:27.220 --> 00:21:30.539
Clint. I think he's not with us anymore. He was

00:21:30.539 --> 00:21:33.519
in front of DG there with his little tin cup

00:21:33.519 --> 00:21:37.319
and his Narcan behind him. Let us know, Mitch.

00:21:37.380 --> 00:21:40.079
You're the last one to see. Yes, Mitch. Let us

00:21:40.079 --> 00:21:46.640
know. Okay, so back to Eureka Springs. So, after

00:21:46.640 --> 00:21:51.339
I get all the free pens, and I'm like, hey, I

00:21:51.339 --> 00:21:54.079
got them. I got 25 pens from them. Cost them

00:21:54.079 --> 00:21:57.279
three cents, but still, at least I got something

00:21:57.279 --> 00:22:01.160
back. Three cents? Probably. Anyhow, they probably

00:22:01.160 --> 00:22:05.099
buy them in bulk for nothing. So, I'm then going

00:22:05.099 --> 00:22:07.819
to get a couple of coffees for Val and I. It's

00:22:07.819 --> 00:22:10.339
Volkswagen weekend at the Springs. Have you ever

00:22:10.339 --> 00:22:13.180
seen the Volkswagen rally they have at the Springs,

00:22:13.400 --> 00:22:16.559
Eureka Springs? No, I have not. Oh, it's amazing.

00:22:17.299 --> 00:22:19.660
There's everything showing up there from old

00:22:19.660 --> 00:22:24.539
60s and early 70s VW vans, trucks that I never

00:22:24.539 --> 00:22:28.779
knew existed, dune buggies. I normally went down

00:22:28.779 --> 00:22:32.220
there in the fall. Okay, well, I mean, I guess

00:22:32.220 --> 00:22:35.700
it's like late August, early September. I think

00:22:35.700 --> 00:22:37.980
it used to be a little bit further in September,

00:22:38.019 --> 00:22:40.240
but they moved it to late August this year for

00:22:40.240 --> 00:22:42.700
whatever reason, maybe weather -wise or something.

00:22:44.319 --> 00:22:48.039
I'm seeing all these old, I mean, I've seen VWs

00:22:48.039 --> 00:22:50.759
I didn't even know they ever made, dude. I'm

00:22:50.759 --> 00:22:52.680
like, what the hell? Yeah, I mean, they're just,

00:22:52.920 --> 00:22:56.480
and then all the Beatles, the old ones and new

00:22:56.480 --> 00:23:01.640
ones, the hopped up ones, the custom ones, the

00:23:01.640 --> 00:23:04.180
kit model looking ones. I mean, it just, yeah.

00:23:04.500 --> 00:23:07.359
I mean, I'm just like, I'm just floored by this.

00:23:07.420 --> 00:23:11.259
And we're leaving Friday and everybody's getting

00:23:11.259 --> 00:23:13.809
their Friday because it's a weekend deal. So

00:23:13.809 --> 00:23:15.710
as everybody's getting in, we're getting out

00:23:15.710 --> 00:23:21.069
of there. And so on my way past all the trucks

00:23:21.069 --> 00:23:22.930
and stuff, out in front of the cheap motels,

00:23:22.950 --> 00:23:26.089
evidently Volkswagens must cost a lot to keep

00:23:26.089 --> 00:23:28.529
up because every one of them goes to the cheap

00:23:28.529 --> 00:23:32.329
motels, the $70 ones up on the ridge on Van Buren.

00:23:32.869 --> 00:23:35.730
They don't go to the bed and breakfasts or anything

00:23:35.730 --> 00:23:37.890
like that. It doesn't look like because all these

00:23:37.890 --> 00:23:41.430
VWs were in like the cheap motels on the ridge.

00:23:42.119 --> 00:23:44.299
And I'm like, wow. Okay, well, I have an answer

00:23:44.299 --> 00:23:45.940
to that. Oh, okay. I have an answer to that.

00:23:46.160 --> 00:23:50.759
Yeah, go ahead. Actually, VWs are cheap to work

00:23:50.759 --> 00:23:54.200
on. Okay. So they're cheap people to begin with.

00:23:54.740 --> 00:23:58.740
Ah, okay. There we go. Because I'm like, well,

00:23:58.799 --> 00:24:02.740
man. No, I've been around guys that build up

00:24:02.740 --> 00:24:06.319
VWs. Actually, VW is one of the cheaper cars

00:24:06.319 --> 00:24:08.859
to build up. Then it makes sense why they would

00:24:08.859 --> 00:24:12.150
be all in the cheap motels. A lot of my buddies

00:24:12.150 --> 00:24:17.890
with rail bogeys and shit. Okay. Okay. So I'm

00:24:17.890 --> 00:24:20.549
going by this cheap motel. It's that one called

00:24:20.549 --> 00:24:24.390
Nut & Fancy. Have you ever been by there? It's

00:24:24.390 --> 00:24:28.329
spelled N -U -T -T -I. It was like 2000, 2001.

00:24:28.769 --> 00:24:30.509
Oh, it probably was. It was probably something

00:24:30.509 --> 00:24:33.930
else then. Okay. Anyhow, it's like, I don't know,

00:24:34.009 --> 00:24:36.809
fucking 50 bucks a night or something. And it's

00:24:36.809 --> 00:24:41.619
spelled like N -U -T -T -I. F -A -N -C -I. Nut

00:24:41.619 --> 00:24:44.160
and Fancy is the name of it. And it's just, you

00:24:44.160 --> 00:24:47.339
know, a very small hotel room playing, you know.

00:24:47.400 --> 00:24:50.059
I don't even think it has a microwave and refrigerator.

00:24:50.380 --> 00:24:53.339
And I'm not for sure it may. So, anyhow, all

00:24:53.339 --> 00:24:56.980
these VWs are out in front of it. So, I'm looking.

00:24:57.700 --> 00:25:03.059
And there's this red -haired guy. Okay. He has

00:25:03.059 --> 00:25:06.579
crazy curly red hair. And he has orange back

00:25:06.579 --> 00:25:11.710
hair. He's extremely obese, okay? And he has

00:25:11.710 --> 00:25:17.549
these little pair of neon green shorts on. Yes.

00:25:18.549 --> 00:25:23.390
And no shoes. And it was disgusting. He was out

00:25:23.390 --> 00:25:28.470
there, like, detailing his buggy. And I'm like,

00:25:28.529 --> 00:25:30.529
what the fuck? If you would have seen this, you

00:25:30.529 --> 00:25:32.630
would have been like, how does that guy get in

00:25:32.630 --> 00:25:35.089
that buggy? There's no way he could fit in that

00:25:35.089 --> 00:25:40.430
thing. No way. There was like an F -250 next

00:25:40.430 --> 00:25:43.329
to it. I'll bet you that was his truck, and he

00:25:43.329 --> 00:25:46.970
had someone drive his VW there. But it was disgusting,

00:25:47.230 --> 00:25:49.670
dude. I'm telling you, man. He was like bent

00:25:49.670 --> 00:25:52.450
over and his fucking ass cracks everywhere and

00:25:52.450 --> 00:25:56.750
the orange back hair. Oh, my gosh. And I'm like

00:25:56.750 --> 00:25:59.349
going, man, I was going to go get coffee. Now

00:25:59.349 --> 00:26:00.970
I don't even feel like drinking coffee. Man,

00:26:01.089 --> 00:26:04.130
it was disgusting. So I was just like, jeez.

00:26:05.470 --> 00:26:07.490
But I'm pretty sure other people probably about

00:26:07.490 --> 00:26:10.150
puke, too. I just thought, man, I got to mention

00:26:10.150 --> 00:26:13.369
that. I mean, I couldn't get video because it's

00:26:13.369 --> 00:26:15.309
during the morning. I was getting coffees, and

00:26:15.309 --> 00:26:17.609
everybody's going to work. If not, I would have

00:26:17.609 --> 00:26:19.829
stopped in that parking lot and videoed it. I

00:26:19.829 --> 00:26:21.869
would have videoed him until he made me leave.

00:26:25.250 --> 00:26:29.049
I would have videoed that, and I would have Instagrammed

00:26:29.049 --> 00:26:34.079
it. I would have Facebooked it. The guy had to

00:26:34.079 --> 00:26:38.380
have known he looked ridiculous. I mean, he wasn't

00:26:38.380 --> 00:26:41.960
kind of obese. He was like rolls going over rolls,

00:26:42.220 --> 00:26:45.839
and you could barely see. You could barely see

00:26:45.839 --> 00:26:48.299
his neon green shorts in between all of that.

00:26:49.519 --> 00:26:56.599
Oh, my God. Oh, yeah. Anyhow, whatever that was,

00:26:56.839 --> 00:26:59.180
maybe it was a gag. Maybe people were like going,

00:26:59.319 --> 00:27:02.180
hey, Jim, go out there and do your thing, man.

00:27:02.279 --> 00:27:04.279
We're going to see people run off the road. Ha

00:27:04.279 --> 00:27:07.299
ha. Maybe it was a gag. I don't know. But it

00:27:07.299 --> 00:27:12.220
was crazy. Remember what we just said. Yeah.

00:27:12.319 --> 00:27:16.619
Volkswagen at a cheap hotel. You know what? You

00:27:16.619 --> 00:27:18.420
know what? You're right. You're right. That's

00:27:18.420 --> 00:27:23.059
it. You've seen enough movies. Yeah. Don't need

00:27:23.059 --> 00:27:32.470
to say anything more. So, anyhow, they're a little

00:27:32.470 --> 00:27:35.210
bit serious now. Well, no, no, no, I'm not going

00:27:35.210 --> 00:27:36.509
to go into that. Well, I'm going to go into this

00:27:36.509 --> 00:27:38.569
one right here, since we're having fun and just

00:27:38.569 --> 00:27:41.190
bullshitting. British Airways flight attendant

00:27:41.190 --> 00:27:43.809
found naked, high on meth in the bathroom of

00:27:43.809 --> 00:27:49.950
an airplane headed to Heathrow, England. Yes,

00:27:50.230 --> 00:27:54.059
no kidding. This gives new meaning to the mile.

00:27:54.160 --> 00:27:58.359
I believe it. I believe it. Yep, I do too. An

00:27:58.359 --> 00:28:00.339
on -duty flight attendant with British Airways

00:28:00.339 --> 00:28:02.980
was found naked and high on drugs in the bathroom

00:28:02.980 --> 00:28:06.299
of an airplane headed to Heathrow Airport. Hayden

00:28:06.299 --> 00:28:10.019
Pentecost, 41, had methamphetamine and amphetamines

00:28:10.019 --> 00:28:11.940
in his system when he was supposed to be attending

00:28:11.940 --> 00:28:14.940
to passengers on a flight traveling from California

00:28:14.940 --> 00:28:18.700
to London, the BBC reported. The brazen airline

00:28:18.700 --> 00:28:21.220
attendant was sweating and babbling in flight

00:28:21.220 --> 00:28:24.420
and appeared to be agitated. He had to be removed

00:28:24.420 --> 00:28:26.839
from his duties by his manager after he failed

00:28:26.839 --> 00:28:29.299
to assist with any pre -flight safety checks.

00:28:31.400 --> 00:28:35.579
This is a cool one, too, because I'm sure after

00:28:35.579 --> 00:28:39.500
this, I didn't get a chance to... I already have

00:28:39.500 --> 00:28:43.230
a rebuttal. Go ahead. I want to get video. I

00:28:43.230 --> 00:28:46.150
know someone got video. This is on a plane. Someone

00:28:46.150 --> 00:28:50.210
got video and I got to find it. Pentecost then

00:28:50.210 --> 00:28:52.130
locked himself in one of the bathroom stalls

00:28:52.130 --> 00:28:54.650
under the guise that he'd been suffering from

00:28:54.650 --> 00:28:57.890
cramps and needed to change his clothes. And

00:28:57.890 --> 00:29:00.210
only for one of his co -workers to later discover

00:29:00.210 --> 00:29:03.710
him naked and incoherent with dilated pupils

00:29:03.710 --> 00:29:07.059
and a high heart rate. The co -worker had to

00:29:07.059 --> 00:29:09.960
help Pentecost get dressed before he moved into

00:29:09.960 --> 00:29:13.119
an empty seat aboard the aircraft. The Oxbridge

00:29:13.119 --> 00:29:16.559
magistrate's court was told, according to the

00:29:16.559 --> 00:29:19.799
Guardian, he was checked on every 20 minutes

00:29:19.799 --> 00:29:22.680
until the plane landed at Heathrow, where he

00:29:22.680 --> 00:29:25.619
was taken to a local hospital. Pentecost, who

00:29:25.619 --> 00:29:29.700
was fired from his under -the -influence outbursts,

00:29:29.700 --> 00:29:33.319
pleaded guilty to performing an aviation function

00:29:33.319 --> 00:29:35.970
while impaired by drugs. He was granted bail

00:29:35.970 --> 00:29:40.309
and is awaiting sentencing at Islesworth Crown

00:29:40.309 --> 00:29:43.450
Court, where he will serve his time with his

00:29:43.450 --> 00:29:50.089
new name, Lou Stuhl. And Rob, what is your rebuttal?

00:29:51.789 --> 00:30:04.960
I don't know why you did it. Why? Bless him.

00:30:08.859 --> 00:30:12.680
They shouldn't let him go. They shouldn't let

00:30:12.680 --> 00:30:18.779
him go. See, that's what you get when I work

00:30:18.779 --> 00:30:22.240
nine and a half hours a day. Oh, I know. I know.

00:30:23.799 --> 00:30:26.440
Yeah, you have one hell of a busy schedule today,

00:30:26.599 --> 00:30:43.539
and you will tomorrow, too. So everybody... Is

00:30:43.539 --> 00:30:47.920
it metal? This is fun. Oh, my God. I'm going

00:30:47.920 --> 00:30:53.140
to hope I read the words right tonight. Well,

00:30:53.240 --> 00:30:55.180
let's find out. Let's turn this over to you,

00:30:55.240 --> 00:30:59.259
Rob. Okay, well, I'm going to go into the story

00:30:59.259 --> 00:31:03.259
that I texted you about. Yes, I purposely stayed

00:31:03.259 --> 00:31:05.240
away from it because I want to be surprised by

00:31:05.240 --> 00:31:35.240
this, so please. Very cool. Did you guys catch

00:31:35.240 --> 00:31:39.119
Roger Jackson's wilder reaction after Psycho

00:31:39.119 --> 00:31:42.900
Stu smashed a beer can on his head at Knox Cags

00:31:42.900 --> 00:31:47.240
Pro Wrestling? Which is out of Knoxville, Tennessee.

00:31:47.759 --> 00:32:26.980
I have not. No, I did not see it. Okay. Like

00:32:26.980 --> 00:32:29.680
I said, I've watched the video multiple times

00:32:29.680 --> 00:32:34.559
because it was brutal, dude. It was brutal. Well,

00:32:34.599 --> 00:32:38.119
I'm going to watch it after the show. Yeah. Actually,

00:32:38.240 --> 00:32:42.180
I saved it. Well, yeah, you can look it up. I

00:32:42.180 --> 00:32:45.140
saved it. I sent it to you. Oh, you sent me the

00:32:45.140 --> 00:32:49.700
video. I can go get it. They were backstage before

00:32:49.700 --> 00:32:59.029
the show. Okay. Well, I thought that Raja Jackson

00:32:59.029 --> 00:33:02.769
was there as part of the promotion for the evening.

00:33:05.029 --> 00:33:07.930
You know how wrestlers do. They get a special

00:33:07.930 --> 00:33:14.130
guest. You know what I mean? I thought that Raja

00:33:14.130 --> 00:33:18.809
was part of the promotion for the evening. Raja

00:33:18.809 --> 00:33:28.470
was not. Oh, man. And everybody thought it was

00:33:28.470 --> 00:33:32.670
a promotion, including Raja, right? No, no, no.

00:33:32.809 --> 00:33:39.829
Raja knew it wasn't. Okay. Yeah. And so Raja

00:33:39.829 --> 00:33:46.049
held his cool backstage. He got in his seat out

00:33:46.049 --> 00:33:51.210
in the audience. And when this wrestler was coming

00:33:51.210 --> 00:34:13.840
out and was starting his match, I've got to watch

00:34:13.840 --> 00:34:17.440
it. Here's the thing. You can see in the video

00:34:17.440 --> 00:34:22.000
when that wrestler, his head bounced off the

00:34:22.000 --> 00:34:25.960
ring. The second he hit the ring, that wrestler

00:34:25.960 --> 00:34:49.039
was out cold. Ooh. Okay? Okay. Here is the first

00:34:49.039 --> 00:34:55.639
thing my son said, and I totally agree. Career

00:34:55.639 --> 00:35:01.159
suicide. Oh, absolutely. No one's going to work

00:35:01.159 --> 00:35:18.989
with him ever again. No. Because a bare knuckle,

00:35:19.090 --> 00:35:23.869
it's like boxing. You knock them down, you have

00:35:23.869 --> 00:35:26.929
to stop. It's not like you can't climb on top

00:35:26.929 --> 00:35:33.329
of them. You know what I mean? Nobody's taking

00:35:33.329 --> 00:35:50.309
that liability. Nobody. Wow. Check it out. You

00:35:50.309 --> 00:35:53.349
want to see a beat now. Like I said, I stayed

00:35:53.349 --> 00:35:55.670
away from it on purpose because I wanted to genuinely

00:35:55.670 --> 00:35:58.389
be surprised when you told me about it, and I

00:35:58.389 --> 00:36:00.650
am surprised. Wow, I'm going to have to watch

00:36:00.650 --> 00:36:20.380
that now. No, no, he literally, yeah. somebody

00:36:20.380 --> 00:36:24.280
got in, got him off, and then it took five wrestlers

00:36:24.280 --> 00:36:32.000
to hold him up against the ropes. Wow. You want

00:36:32.000 --> 00:36:36.659
to talk about anger management? Yeah. Geez. Okay.

00:36:37.000 --> 00:36:39.579
I've had people smash beer cans on my head, and

00:36:39.579 --> 00:36:43.179
I like that. We used to do it to each other,

00:36:43.280 --> 00:36:50.389
remember? Yeah, which was probably not a good

00:36:50.389 --> 00:36:56.230
idea. Yeah, another long story. Yeah, and I wonder

00:36:56.230 --> 00:37:02.530
why I have gut problems now. Yeah, me too. You're

00:37:02.530 --> 00:37:05.389
the one who taught me. Oh, I know, I know. I

00:37:05.389 --> 00:37:09.030
offer no excuses. I'm fucked in the head. That's

00:37:09.030 --> 00:37:12.630
all there is. It's not the jalapenos, it was

00:37:12.630 --> 00:37:17.289
the beer cans, I'm pretty sure. Yes. How about

00:37:17.289 --> 00:37:19.030
we go to our first break, and I'm going to come

00:37:19.030 --> 00:37:23.170
back with a few emails. Sounds great. Okay, sounds

00:37:23.170 --> 00:37:29.809
good. Harambe used to listen to our original

00:37:29.809 --> 00:37:32.550
show, Two Dipshits and Cheek Radio Shack Realistic

00:37:32.550 --> 00:37:35.789
Tape Recorder. Harambe does not listen to our

00:37:35.789 --> 00:37:38.250
original show, Two Dipshits and Cheek Radio Shack

00:37:38.250 --> 00:37:41.670
Realistic Tape Recorder anymore. You might ask

00:37:41.670 --> 00:37:44.230
why Harambe never listens to our original show,

00:37:44.369 --> 00:37:46.289
Too Gypsious, in a cheap Radio Shack realistic

00:37:46.289 --> 00:37:49.730
tape recorder. Well, it's because Harambe is

00:37:49.730 --> 00:37:52.389
dead. Senselessly murdered because some idiot

00:37:52.389 --> 00:37:54.469
did not watch her child properly while looking

00:37:54.469 --> 00:37:57.289
on her phone. Sadly, Harambe does not listen

00:37:57.289 --> 00:37:59.389
to our original show, Too Gypsious, in the cheap

00:37:59.389 --> 00:38:02.269
Radio Shack realistic tape recorder, or any other

00:38:02.269 --> 00:38:06.750
show. Anymore. Sorry, Harambe. Hey there, fuckstick.

00:38:07.449 --> 00:38:09.550
You're just in time for brand new feature news

00:38:09.550 --> 00:38:12.949
nobody gives a shit about. Punxsutawney Phil's

00:38:12.949 --> 00:38:19.869
babies are named Shadow and Sunny. Hey, look.

00:38:19.969 --> 00:38:22.590
I think we found land. Oh, my God. I think we're

00:38:22.590 --> 00:38:26.989
safe. Oh, no. It's an island of horrible jokes.

00:38:30.909 --> 00:38:34.530
What do you call a factory that just makes okay

00:38:34.530 --> 00:38:41.599
products? satisfactory hey my fellow heavy breathers

00:38:41.599 --> 00:38:49.340
this is dash riptide your music news graham bonnet

00:38:49.340 --> 00:38:51.300
band is currently working on their fourth album

00:38:51.300 --> 00:38:53.940
graham said it's very possible bruce dickinson

00:38:53.940 --> 00:38:56.300
might guest on a song or two on his new album

00:38:56.300 --> 00:38:59.159
bruce is a big fan of graham's ever since his

00:38:59.159 --> 00:39:02.519
days in rainbow two fantastic lead singers in

00:39:02.519 --> 00:39:05.059
one song kind of reminds me of deep purple's

00:39:05.059 --> 00:39:07.809
mark 3 lineup with Glenn Hughes and David Coverdell.

00:39:08.269 --> 00:39:11.530
This should be pretty damn good. We will see.

00:39:12.469 --> 00:39:15.630
This is Gash Rooktine, and that was your music

00:39:15.630 --> 00:39:18.690
news. If it's too loud, you probably have ear

00:39:18.690 --> 00:39:28.409
damage, just like me. So you want proof that

00:39:28.409 --> 00:39:30.570
we love you here at QD Spades and Microphone

00:39:30.570 --> 00:39:33.630
Central? Here's a proof right here about the

00:39:33.630 --> 00:39:37.420
drink of the week. How to make the famous Carnival

00:39:37.420 --> 00:39:40.760
Cruise Line Miami Vice frozen drink. Two ounces

00:39:40.760 --> 00:39:43.820
Bacardi one, seven ounces frozen pina colada

00:39:43.820 --> 00:39:47.519
mix, three ounces strawberry daiquiri mix, half

00:39:47.519 --> 00:39:50.420
a hurricane glass of ice. Blend it all together

00:39:50.420 --> 00:39:52.760
and serve with a slice of pineapple and a maraschino

00:39:52.760 --> 00:39:57.179
cherry on top. Bam, there you go. Miami Vice,

00:39:57.400 --> 00:40:01.360
Carnival style. Two douchebags and microphone

00:40:01.360 --> 00:40:04.869
in an effort to keep everything fresh. We offer

00:40:04.869 --> 00:40:11.010
you first world problems. My driver's license

00:40:11.010 --> 00:40:14.869
picture makes me look older. I'm calling a lawyer.

00:40:15.610 --> 00:40:18.050
Ms. Gulkenstein was tired of Mark and Toe for

00:40:18.050 --> 00:40:20.690
making sport of her. Little did the douchebags

00:40:20.690 --> 00:40:23.570
know Ms. Gulkenstein was a voodoo high priestess

00:40:23.570 --> 00:40:27.110
when she was younger. She grew angry and cast

00:40:27.110 --> 00:40:30.170
a spell on Rob, changing Rob into a capuchin

00:40:30.170 --> 00:40:34.719
monkey. Mark took Rob to a local zoo so we could

00:40:34.719 --> 00:40:37.179
be with the other monkeys. Here are the adventures

00:40:37.179 --> 00:40:43.579
of Rob, the capuchin monkey. Shh, be very quiet.

00:40:44.019 --> 00:40:46.699
We're going to listen in as Rob, the capuchin

00:40:46.699 --> 00:40:48.760
monkey, tries to sell the rest of the capuchin

00:40:48.760 --> 00:40:51.579
monkeys Amway. Rob has always dreamed of becoming

00:40:51.579 --> 00:40:55.059
a diamond status Amway as a capuchin monkey.

00:41:15.849 --> 00:41:19.610
Little did our hero Rob know. All the great apes

00:41:19.610 --> 00:41:21.869
owned stock in Sam's Club and became violently

00:41:21.869 --> 00:41:23.929
pissed off when he tried to infringe on their

00:41:23.929 --> 00:41:26.630
territory. They promptly grabbed switches and

00:41:26.630 --> 00:41:29.230
beat his ass for three days straight. Rob could

00:41:29.230 --> 00:41:33.849
not sit down. Next up, things overheard in hell.

00:41:34.309 --> 00:41:37.590
Howard Stern just signed a ten year contract

00:41:37.590 --> 00:41:42.510
extension. Hey look, I think we found land. Oh

00:41:42.510 --> 00:41:46.820
my god, I think we're safe. Oh, no. It's an island

00:41:46.820 --> 00:41:53.420
of horrible jokes. Singing in the shower is fun.

00:41:54.179 --> 00:41:57.340
Until you get soap in your mouth. Then it's a

00:41:57.340 --> 00:42:03.539
soap opera. Hey, everybody. This is Uncle Rob.

00:42:03.880 --> 00:42:08.460
I'm going to give you some tips for life. This

00:42:08.460 --> 00:42:12.980
is Uncle Rob's rules to dick pics. Rule number

00:42:12.980 --> 00:42:16.619
one. Title will kick in someone else's name.

00:42:16.800 --> 00:42:21.739
So if you get busted, it's not yours. Rule number

00:42:21.739 --> 00:42:25.860
two, shoot angles complementary to your length

00:42:25.860 --> 00:42:52.880
and girth. Two douchebags and microphone. I'm

00:42:52.880 --> 00:42:54.539
Mark here in the Kansas City area at the Talk

00:42:54.539 --> 00:42:59.280
is Cheap studio. And I am Rob. It's a beautiful

00:42:59.280 --> 00:43:02.300
night warm at Lake of the Ozarks in the Duck

00:43:02.300 --> 00:43:08.219
Blind studio. All right, we got a few emails.

00:43:08.659 --> 00:43:11.659
Emails have been kind of slow, but it's summertime

00:43:11.659 --> 00:43:17.420
and I understand it. And we are coming up on

00:43:17.420 --> 00:43:23.019
Labor Day weekend. Yep. Yeah, I get it. It's

00:43:23.019 --> 00:43:27.219
twodouches at mail .com. twodouches at mail .com.

00:43:27.519 --> 00:43:30.860
Send us an email, bitch. Do it. Which, by the

00:43:30.860 --> 00:43:34.119
way, Mark, we have new shirts coming. Oh, awesome.

00:43:34.340 --> 00:43:39.179
With the new email on it. Very good. Very good.

00:43:39.380 --> 00:43:42.440
And I actually got a couple extra for a couple

00:43:42.440 --> 00:43:46.280
extra people for more advertisement. Cool. Yeah.

00:43:46.400 --> 00:43:49.789
Yeah, we need to. Yeah, that sounds great. Good

00:43:49.789 --> 00:43:54.769
job, Rob. Thank you. All right. First one. Rob,

00:43:54.909 --> 00:43:58.849
how about a Lake Area segment? Just do one every

00:43:58.849 --> 00:44:02.150
show. Tessa and Climax Springs. Well, I mean,

00:44:02.170 --> 00:44:05.630
didn't we already... I put this up here because...

00:44:05.630 --> 00:44:08.030
Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. That's our

00:44:08.030 --> 00:44:13.130
verse from Climax Springs. Is it? Yeah. Tessa,

00:44:13.190 --> 00:44:18.760
thank you. Yes, thank you, Tessa. Rob's doing

00:44:18.760 --> 00:44:20.320
it, aren't you? I mean, I thought you were doing

00:44:20.320 --> 00:44:22.940
a segment, aren't you, from Lake Erie News? Well,

00:44:22.940 --> 00:44:26.159
yeah, I have been. I just don't have one tonight.

00:44:26.340 --> 00:44:30.820
Well, actually, I have a big one. It's just going

00:44:30.820 --> 00:44:33.280
to take me until tomorrow night to put it all

00:44:33.280 --> 00:44:37.380
together. Okay, there you go, Tessa. Maybe not

00:44:37.380 --> 00:44:49.510
every night, but most. Oh, well, you know what?

00:44:49.510 --> 00:44:52.329
That will be tomorrow night. There you go. And

00:44:52.329 --> 00:44:55.309
thank you, Tessa. Climax Springs, awesome. I

00:44:55.309 --> 00:44:56.969
know where that's at, and I know you know where

00:44:56.969 --> 00:45:00.309
it's at. It's right next door to you. So, yeah,

00:45:00.369 --> 00:45:05.750
awesome. Thank you. Next one, Rob. We have your

00:45:05.750 --> 00:45:08.369
keychains made up for your book signing. We just

00:45:08.369 --> 00:45:11.789
need $4 ,000 for 20 keychains we had made up

00:45:11.789 --> 00:45:15.199
for the festival's giveaways. We will also need

00:45:15.199 --> 00:45:17.820
you to bring 30 bone -in ribeyes and a grill

00:45:17.820 --> 00:45:20.320
to charcoal them on, plus some lighter fluid

00:45:20.320 --> 00:45:23.039
and potato salad, coleslaw, chicken wings, and

00:45:23.039 --> 00:45:26.440
20 gallons of barbecue sauce. See you next weekend

00:45:26.440 --> 00:45:29.360
at the Massey Creek Fairgrounds. Thuckhammer

00:45:29.360 --> 00:45:32.079
sends their love. Mark is still not welcome.

00:45:32.440 --> 00:45:35.199
Mitch, like Freeman, ecologist and part -time

00:45:35.199 --> 00:45:40.199
gardener. I'm glad I'm not welcome. Thank you.

00:45:40.340 --> 00:45:42.699
Thanks for not letting me be a part of this mess.

00:45:49.430 --> 00:45:54.550
Okay. I can't be there either. Mitch, you're

00:45:54.550 --> 00:46:01.630
on your own. Rob's got shit to do. Yeah, I have

00:46:01.630 --> 00:46:07.150
plans with Princess. There you go, Mitch. Princess?

00:46:07.289 --> 00:46:12.789
Yes, Princess takes him. And 4 ,000? Are you

00:46:12.789 --> 00:46:16.539
kidding me? $100 ,000 for 20 key chains. Mitch,

00:46:16.539 --> 00:46:23.260
Mitch, Mitch, Mitch, I have your solution. Go

00:46:23.260 --> 00:46:30.260
to Butler and go scrap it. There we go. There

00:46:30.260 --> 00:46:36.699
we go. There you go. Yeah, I think that's a great

00:46:36.699 --> 00:46:41.539
idea, Rob. Great idea. So, Mitch, you're shit

00:46:41.539 --> 00:46:44.539
out of luck. All right. And I love saying that.

00:46:45.420 --> 00:46:48.960
Sorry, sorry. I mean, I know it's my fan club

00:46:48.960 --> 00:46:52.760
and all, but, you know, I have to answer to Princess

00:46:52.760 --> 00:46:56.219
now. Yep, and me, I'm happy as hell because I'm

00:46:56.219 --> 00:47:00.619
not invited, so. I can't help either. I'm not

00:47:00.619 --> 00:47:21.860
invited. Well, maybe another week. I don't know.

00:47:21.980 --> 00:47:24.840
You know, I'm sure they have the dunk tank around

00:47:24.840 --> 00:47:27.900
there somewhere, right? They can just keep it

00:47:27.900 --> 00:47:29.679
in storage, and then you come down and challenge

00:47:29.679 --> 00:47:36.139
them. It's probably a cattle trawl. Probably,

00:47:36.199 --> 00:47:39.179
yeah. No one there, yeah. And they probably stole

00:47:39.179 --> 00:47:44.519
it. They probably stole it from a farmer. So,

00:47:44.579 --> 00:47:50.539
all right. Eureka Spring Show turned out great.

00:47:50.840 --> 00:47:53.280
There is a little noise, but very tolerable.

00:47:53.480 --> 00:47:56.340
I hope you do more remotes soon. I just love

00:47:56.340 --> 00:47:58.719
the background sounds, and the show has a more

00:47:58.719 --> 00:48:02.119
raw feel to it. Ronnie and Tulsa, the Tulsa King.

00:48:02.639 --> 00:48:04.719
I agree. I thought it turned out well. What did

00:48:04.719 --> 00:48:10.320
you think? Yeah, I did too. Actually, when I

00:48:10.320 --> 00:48:14.500
heard the playback, I heard a lot more vehicle

00:48:14.500 --> 00:48:20.219
sound and stuff than what I heard. You see, I

00:48:20.219 --> 00:48:22.500
couldn't hear that because my headphones wouldn't

00:48:22.500 --> 00:48:25.039
work. I thought I could get by having an interface

00:48:25.039 --> 00:48:28.179
and still use the headphones, but it wouldn't

00:48:28.179 --> 00:48:30.260
work. It just would not work. I had it plugged

00:48:30.260 --> 00:48:33.940
in differently. I need an interface so the headphones

00:48:33.940 --> 00:48:38.480
will hear the sound. So I didn't know what type

00:48:38.480 --> 00:48:40.559
of sound was going on where because the headphones

00:48:40.559 --> 00:48:43.480
weren't working. So some of that noise was a

00:48:43.480 --> 00:48:45.579
little bit louder than I thought because we all

00:48:45.579 --> 00:48:48.230
know that the headphones pick up. What you hear

00:48:48.230 --> 00:48:50.489
on the headphones is what you hear on the recording.

00:48:51.329 --> 00:48:53.809
What you hear by naked ear is not what you hear

00:48:53.809 --> 00:48:57.489
on the recording. So I was not able to do that,

00:48:57.550 --> 00:48:59.510
but I still think it turned out pretty good.

00:49:02.309 --> 00:49:09.070
I do too. Actually, you came out louder than

00:49:09.070 --> 00:49:12.710
I did. I know. It's been good because for some

00:49:12.710 --> 00:49:15.190
reason when we use the Bluetooth, I can't hear

00:49:15.190 --> 00:49:18.400
you. I know. So I'm just going with this. I mean,

00:49:18.519 --> 00:49:20.960
you know, this is working and you can hear it.

00:49:21.079 --> 00:49:23.400
Everybody can hear me well enough. Yes. So we're

00:49:23.400 --> 00:49:25.480
good. Yeah, so we're just kind of leaving it

00:49:25.480 --> 00:49:29.539
alone now. It's working. So, Ronnie, Tulsa King,

00:49:29.820 --> 00:49:32.280
thank you. I agree. And we're going to have it

00:49:32.280 --> 00:49:34.880
perfected. You see, I could have normalized it

00:49:34.880 --> 00:49:37.260
and made it a little bit more clean, but I didn't

00:49:37.260 --> 00:49:40.780
because I like the raw feel to it. I thought

00:49:40.780 --> 00:49:44.380
even the louder sounds, it was only a second

00:49:44.380 --> 00:49:46.599
and they were gone. I just thought it kind of

00:49:46.599 --> 00:49:51.039
like really painted a portrait of how that place

00:49:51.039 --> 00:49:53.559
was, you know, people are driving up and down,

00:49:53.619 --> 00:49:56.579
and I'm on the balcony doing the show, and there's

00:49:56.579 --> 00:49:58.340
people everywhere. I mean, it just really kind

00:49:58.340 --> 00:50:02.340
of captured the whole feeling of the area, and

00:50:02.340 --> 00:50:04.880
I thought it was great. So, yeah, I could have

00:50:04.880 --> 00:50:07.179
scrubbed that up a little bit and decided not

00:50:07.179 --> 00:50:11.019
to. So, anyhow, thank you, Ronnie. Thank you,

00:50:11.039 --> 00:50:15.260
Chelsea King. You are the best. What the hell

00:50:15.260 --> 00:50:18.039
happened to Ask Padlings and Jeffy X? I love

00:50:18.039 --> 00:50:21.300
those two segments, Ben and Hamilton. I actually

00:50:21.300 --> 00:50:23.480
haven't asked Padlings. I haven't got to in a

00:50:23.480 --> 00:50:26.559
while. I don't know. I've got to find it, but,

00:50:26.639 --> 00:50:29.539
I mean, I could do it later on in the show maybe.

00:50:30.500 --> 00:50:34.300
I've got to find it, though. Yeah, and I know

00:50:34.300 --> 00:50:38.219
another segment we could get back to, too. Food

00:50:38.219 --> 00:50:40.860
Wars, Jeffy X. I had someone complain about more

00:50:40.860 --> 00:50:44.840
Food Wars that we used to do. Jeffy X. Oh, what

00:50:44.840 --> 00:50:51.300
is it? We need to do a ass cheek. Oh, yeah, yeah,

00:50:51.300 --> 00:50:55.659
yeah. Nipple tweak. Yeah. Nut flick. Yeah. Ass

00:50:55.659 --> 00:51:01.480
cheek bite. Nipple flick. Nut flick. Or something

00:51:01.480 --> 00:51:04.380
like that. Okay. All right. See, that's how long

00:51:04.380 --> 00:51:06.480
this is. We've done one. I can't remember what

00:51:06.480 --> 00:51:09.739
the hell it is. I'll go back to my notes. Ass

00:51:09.739 --> 00:51:13.699
cheek bite. Nipple tweak. Nipple yank. Nipple

00:51:13.699 --> 00:51:18.139
yank. Nipple yank, ass cheek bite, and nut flake.

00:51:18.340 --> 00:51:21.199
Nut flake. Nut flake. There we go. All right.

00:51:21.320 --> 00:51:23.900
We need to do another one. Not tomorrow night.

00:51:23.960 --> 00:51:25.940
We'll make that Sunday night. We'll make it Sunday

00:51:25.940 --> 00:51:27.800
night. And I have ass paddlings right here. We

00:51:27.800 --> 00:51:31.019
can do them a little bit later. Cool. How come

00:51:31.019 --> 00:51:34.059
I never hear music news on your music show? I

00:51:34.059 --> 00:51:36.000
was disappointed that you don't spice that show

00:51:36.000 --> 00:51:39.719
up a bit. And we can answer that. And then he

00:51:39.719 --> 00:51:41.260
has a little bit more here that you and I can

00:51:41.260 --> 00:51:45.219
answer personally. You'll hear. Okay, I'm going

00:51:45.219 --> 00:51:48.039
to start doing that. We're having a problem getting

00:51:48.039 --> 00:51:50.440
a regular show right now because, you know, I

00:51:50.440 --> 00:51:53.199
have family coming in. Now Topher's got a situation

00:51:53.199 --> 00:51:56.179
at his house he's got taken care of. So we're

00:51:56.179 --> 00:51:58.119
probably going to get it in tomorrow. But, you

00:51:58.119 --> 00:52:00.639
know, we have lives and we keep missing shows.

00:52:00.840 --> 00:52:04.239
And it's really hard to gain traction. and put

00:52:04.239 --> 00:52:06.260
in certain segments and stuff, because usually

00:52:06.260 --> 00:52:08.900
I'm under the gun for time, so the show's all

00:52:08.900 --> 00:52:11.340
ready to go and good, so a lot of times I just

00:52:11.340 --> 00:52:13.380
spit it out on there to give people something

00:52:13.380 --> 00:52:16.800
to listen to in the time. So when we get back

00:52:16.800 --> 00:52:19.559
on track a little bit, and they have these spaced

00:52:19.559 --> 00:52:22.099
out every couple of days, I'll have the luxury

00:52:22.099 --> 00:52:24.440
of being able to spice those shows up a little

00:52:24.440 --> 00:52:27.099
bit. But until then, it's something for people

00:52:27.099 --> 00:52:30.019
to listen to while the other show's not going

00:52:30.019 --> 00:52:33.800
on. Does that sound right? Until then, you can

00:52:33.800 --> 00:52:35.820
always come here because, you know, we always

00:52:35.820 --> 00:52:40.000
talk about music. Yes, yeah, yeah. I'd say our

00:52:40.000 --> 00:52:42.659
show is probably 30 % music, wouldn't you say?

00:52:45.800 --> 00:52:48.480
Yeah, pretty close, pretty close. Yeah, yeah.

00:52:49.139 --> 00:52:52.980
So, yeah, and then someone else wanted to know.

00:52:53.260 --> 00:52:56.159
Oh, no, that's on the next one. Okay, okay, nope.

00:52:56.340 --> 00:52:58.639
I had to save a couple of emails for tomorrow.

00:53:00.259 --> 00:53:02.760
because we're cutting it so quick, I don't know

00:53:02.760 --> 00:53:05.659
if I'm going to have any emails left. So that's

00:53:05.659 --> 00:53:08.360
on tomorrow's one. Okay, and then the second

00:53:08.360 --> 00:53:11.320
part of this question, it's from Roger in Harrisonville.

00:53:11.340 --> 00:53:14.760
He asked that about the Spicing the Show Up a

00:53:14.760 --> 00:53:18.280
bit. He wanted to know, me and you both, Judas

00:53:18.280 --> 00:53:22.619
Priest or Iron Maiden? Iron Maiden. Iron Maiden.

00:53:23.980 --> 00:53:27.400
Roger, you didn't say who you go for. Write us

00:53:27.400 --> 00:53:30.440
back. Let us know. Yeah, we both say Iron Maiden's

00:53:30.440 --> 00:53:33.119
solid. I love Judas Priest. Yep, solid, solid.

00:53:33.440 --> 00:53:37.400
Yeah, solid. I like Judas Priest, too. Iron Maiden,

00:53:37.480 --> 00:53:42.659
they just added so much more. I agree. Yeah.

00:53:43.880 --> 00:53:47.300
Yeah, Iron Maiden's just... Come on, come on.

00:53:47.300 --> 00:53:50.219
How do you beat Eddie? Yeah, yeah, that's another

00:53:50.219 --> 00:53:54.699
one, too. Eddie. Yeah. So there you go. Iron

00:53:54.699 --> 00:54:09.440
Maiden, yeah, from both of us. Man. No, no, not

00:54:09.440 --> 00:54:22.900
right now. I'll let you know when I can. Anyhow,

00:54:22.900 --> 00:55:22.559
Rob, we turn this to you. Reports now suggest

00:55:22.559 --> 00:55:26.860
that the former Los Angeles Lakers star has agreed

00:55:26.860 --> 00:55:32.500
to a boxing match against Philadelphia bodyguard

00:55:32.500 --> 00:55:37.239
Charles Charlie Mack Alston, famously known as

00:55:37.239 --> 00:55:52.710
Will Smith's former bodyguard. He briefly stepped

00:55:52.710 --> 00:55:57.230
into the ring against boxing legends like Oscar

00:55:57.230 --> 00:56:27.139
De La Hoya and Shane Mosley. response model shares

00:56:27.139 --> 00:57:03.289
initial rack. I'll support, I'll help him train,

00:57:03.570 --> 00:57:08.809
stuff like that. The matchup against Austin may

00:57:08.809 --> 00:57:13.349
seem daring, but it's another chapter in the

00:57:13.349 --> 00:57:21.489
unpredictable life of Lakers legend. Cool. He

00:57:21.489 --> 00:57:25.909
could take on another boxing match. Yeah. Yeah,

00:57:25.929 --> 00:57:45.670
could have. Yeah. I get it. I get it. All right.

00:57:45.809 --> 00:57:49.190
Let's take our second break and come back. I

00:57:49.190 --> 00:57:51.869
got some ass paddling since we were asked about

00:57:51.869 --> 00:57:55.570
it. That sound good? Sounds great. All right.

00:57:55.570 --> 00:57:58.230
You got to get old Sparky out. Two douchebags

00:57:58.230 --> 00:58:02.150
and a microphone. The only podcast with gusto.

00:58:02.570 --> 00:58:07.130
That's right. Just like Schlitz beer. Google

00:58:07.130 --> 00:58:11.420
it. I have a pet termite I call. Clint. Wow,

00:58:11.480 --> 00:58:14.659
no shit. How strange. Yeah, I call it Clint Eats

00:58:14.659 --> 00:58:18.880
Wood. Swimming in toxic masculinity and wiping

00:58:18.880 --> 00:58:21.400
their ass with politically correct wash rags.

00:58:21.579 --> 00:58:24.460
Two douchebags and a microphone invade your ear

00:58:24.460 --> 00:58:30.280
holes in three, two, one. Hey, my fellow heavy

00:58:30.280 --> 00:58:33.920
breathers, this is Dash Riptide with your music

00:58:33.920 --> 00:58:39.349
news. A new book about the formation of Led Zeppelin

00:58:39.349 --> 00:58:41.809
to arrive in September. The product of years

00:58:41.809 --> 00:58:43.769
of research, this enormous book contains the

00:58:43.769 --> 00:58:46.269
most detailed and accurate account yet of the

00:58:46.269 --> 00:58:48.469
pathway to Led Zeppelin's formation and the events

00:58:48.469 --> 00:58:51.789
of their tumultuous first year. Along is a wealth

00:58:51.789 --> 00:58:54.489
of rare material concerning the members' earlier

00:58:54.489 --> 00:58:57.329
careers and reproductions of virtually every

00:58:57.329 --> 00:58:59.289
piece of press they received between getting

00:58:59.289 --> 00:59:02.590
together in August 1968 and the release of Led

00:59:02.590 --> 00:59:06.929
Zeppelin II in October 1969. Bolger had barely

00:59:06.929 --> 00:59:10.110
seen archival information and imagery. The feature

00:59:10.110 --> 00:59:12.130
and a long introduction by the renowned music

00:59:12.130 --> 00:59:14.449
journalist Chris Welch, who knew them from the

00:59:14.449 --> 00:59:16.730
start. Tour with them and visit them at home.

00:59:16.829 --> 00:59:19.389
It is simply essential for the many admirers.

00:59:19.489 --> 00:59:22.710
The 348 -page Led Zeppelin The Only Way to Fly

00:59:22.710 --> 00:59:26.010
will be made available in a limited edition large

00:59:26.010 --> 00:59:29.369
format hardback quarter bound and clop. The first

00:59:29.369 --> 00:59:32.190
250 pre -orders of the book will receive an exclusive

00:59:32.190 --> 00:59:36.739
poster and Jimmy Page's used underwear. Allegedly.

00:59:36.800 --> 00:59:41.079
No, not really. But you do get the poster. Out.

00:59:41.639 --> 00:59:45.159
Hey, my fellow heavy breeders. This is Dash Riptide.

00:59:45.400 --> 00:59:52.099
Your music news. You watch the news. It looks

00:59:52.099 --> 00:59:56.139
grim. Is an apocalypse inevitable? We suggest

00:59:56.139 --> 00:59:59.300
you download all our podcasts beforehand and

00:59:59.300 --> 01:00:03.079
have multiple mobile chargers. We have your post

01:00:03.079 --> 01:00:09.079
apocalypse. Remember, post -apocalypse, to have

01:00:09.079 --> 01:00:13.880
a sewage bit. Sewage, untreated, can result in

01:00:13.880 --> 01:00:17.679
serious illness and other obstacles for your

01:00:17.679 --> 01:00:21.300
family to live well. You also should have some

01:00:21.300 --> 01:00:24.119
chemicals stocked up, maybe bags of chlorine

01:00:24.119 --> 01:00:28.199
or something of such, to sanitize the sewage

01:00:28.199 --> 01:00:37.750
per week. Rob consumed small doses of radiation

01:00:37.750 --> 01:00:42.969
for 30 years. Rob is immune to radiation. Watch

01:00:42.969 --> 01:00:47.630
him glow. Watch Rob Red jump up 25 feet and grab

01:00:47.630 --> 01:00:51.170
birds out of thin air with his mouth. With his

01:00:51.170 --> 01:00:55.289
mouth. Rob can now be invented for children's

01:00:55.289 --> 01:00:59.079
parties and bar mitzvahs. That's right. Come

01:00:59.079 --> 01:01:02.059
on and rent you a Rob today. That's right. Come

01:01:02.059 --> 01:01:07.699
by and rent Rob for a day. A day. A day. Watch

01:01:07.699 --> 01:01:11.440
Rob consume seven bottles a night and still break

01:01:11.440 --> 01:01:16.260
dance and move on. Watch Rob Red. Fart down a

01:01:16.260 --> 01:01:20.800
building. Fart down a building. Rob Red assumes

01:01:20.800 --> 01:01:23.539
no responsibility whatsoever. He is not a babysitter

01:01:23.539 --> 01:01:25.119
and he doesn't give one house a shit about your

01:01:25.119 --> 01:01:27.179
children. Please remember to corral every little

01:01:27.179 --> 01:01:29.710
bastard you have. Before Rob gets there, and

01:01:29.710 --> 01:01:31.809
while we'll not put up with any back talk, he

01:01:31.809 --> 01:01:33.989
will promptly get them in the place. Rob Braddock

01:01:33.989 --> 01:01:36.130
assumes no responsibility for anything that could

01:01:36.130 --> 01:01:38.269
be stolen from his visit. Rob Braddock has no

01:01:38.269 --> 01:01:40.489
responsibility whatsoever in any help him of

01:01:40.489 --> 01:01:44.650
any situation. We're going to rob today. Hey,

01:01:44.750 --> 01:01:47.030
if you're a fan of paying way too much for trinkets

01:01:47.030 --> 01:01:50.050
and food, well, your wish is coming true. Kansas

01:01:50.050 --> 01:01:52.269
City International Airport Guest Pass Program

01:01:52.269 --> 01:01:55.800
is starting today. Yes, you too could overspend

01:01:55.800 --> 01:01:58.739
on workless trinkets and $15 cups of coffee.

01:01:58.940 --> 01:02:01.639
You want to buy a $50 cheap t -shirt that has

01:02:01.639 --> 01:02:04.679
KC Western Auto Building image on it? We got

01:02:04.679 --> 01:02:07.239
you covered. Want a barbecue sauce gift pack?

01:02:07.420 --> 01:02:10.019
No problem. Just a mere $40 and you're first

01:02:10.019 --> 01:02:13.219
born. Hurry, you know rubes are jumping all over

01:02:13.219 --> 01:02:16.679
to get to this complete ripoff. Because people

01:02:16.679 --> 01:02:20.679
are sheep. Our constant pursuit for a real knee

01:02:20.679 --> 01:02:23.909
slapper. It's strange insults from an alien.

01:02:24.429 --> 01:02:28.530
Real hilarity. Every sock you wear is slightly

01:02:28.530 --> 01:02:31.630
rotated. Just enough for it to be uncomfortable.

01:02:41.989 --> 01:02:44.690
Two douchebags on a microphone. I'm Mark here

01:02:44.690 --> 01:02:46.469
in the Kansas City area at the Talk is Cheap

01:02:46.469 --> 01:02:59.110
studio. All right. Well, shall we get to some

01:02:59.110 --> 01:03:03.170
ass paddlings, Rob? Yes, yes, yes. Okay, I've

01:03:03.170 --> 01:03:05.150
had this for like, I don't know, a month now,

01:03:05.289 --> 01:03:07.969
and I kept forgetting to bring it out, and it

01:03:07.969 --> 01:03:10.789
just got buried eventually. So I'm glad that

01:03:10.789 --> 01:03:14.190
I forgot who asked about it, asked it. They asked

01:03:14.190 --> 01:03:19.250
about it on email, so here it is. Okay, and some

01:03:19.250 --> 01:03:22.050
of these are kind of old because it's kind of...

01:03:22.519 --> 01:03:24.360
We've moved on since then, so I'm going to try

01:03:24.360 --> 01:03:28.619
to, you know, refresh it a little bit. Okay,

01:03:28.679 --> 01:03:32.300
well, the way the ass paddling began was Topher

01:03:32.300 --> 01:03:36.300
and I were on vacation, okay, and we were watching

01:03:36.300 --> 01:03:38.360
the sunrise on the beach, walking along, and

01:03:38.360 --> 01:03:42.800
the cool air, morning air, was glistening and

01:03:42.800 --> 01:03:46.190
blowing through our hair. And two men can have

01:03:46.190 --> 01:03:48.550
a tender moment without holding hands, even though

01:03:48.550 --> 01:03:50.610
the Duke and Rob think differently. We're not

01:03:50.610 --> 01:03:53.889
holding hands like they say. And we're walking

01:03:53.889 --> 01:03:57.050
along, and like I said, there's a cool breeze.

01:03:57.210 --> 01:04:00.530
And all of a sudden, I stub my toe. And I look

01:04:00.530 --> 01:04:03.829
back, and Topher's like, that looks like a genie's

01:04:03.829 --> 01:04:06.349
bottle. I'm like, that is not. So I walk over

01:04:06.349 --> 01:04:08.409
there, my toe all hurting and everything. I go,

01:04:08.469 --> 01:04:10.389
man, dude, this is a genie's bottle. He's like,

01:04:10.489 --> 01:04:14.440
no shit. So we pop it open. Genie pops out. Okay.

01:04:15.039 --> 01:04:18.099
And he could not stand us. He was very condescending.

01:04:18.579 --> 01:04:22.559
And we, Topher and I are like, ah, it's a genie.

01:04:22.559 --> 01:04:24.679
We let him out. We get three wishes. And he rolls

01:04:24.679 --> 01:04:27.179
his eyes. He goes, no, you watch too much TV.

01:04:27.300 --> 01:04:32.019
You get one wish. One wish only. Make it count.

01:04:32.300 --> 01:04:36.019
World peace. Curing cancer. Topher and I looked

01:04:36.019 --> 01:04:37.659
at each other and we said, we want to be invisible

01:04:37.659 --> 01:04:41.960
so we can paddle people's asses. The genie was

01:04:41.960 --> 01:04:44.199
very reluctant. He's rolling his eyes, and he

01:04:44.199 --> 01:04:47.800
goes, very well, I have to. I have to give you

01:04:47.800 --> 01:04:50.300
your wish. You let me out of my bottle, and I

01:04:50.300 --> 01:04:52.940
appreciate it. But, you know, you guys are morons.

01:04:52.940 --> 01:04:56.340
But once a month, you can turn invisible. And

01:04:56.340 --> 01:04:58.699
now Rob can, too. He gave you permission, right,

01:04:58.820 --> 01:05:00.699
that you can turn invisible and paddle him, too,

01:05:00.739 --> 01:05:04.579
right? Oh, yeah. I've been doing it for special

01:05:04.579 --> 01:05:08.679
paddlings. Yes. I'm good. Yep. Yeah, so Rob is

01:05:08.679 --> 01:05:11.400
approved for the invisible ass paddlings like

01:05:11.400 --> 01:05:15.539
us. And we use Old Sparky. It's a replica of

01:05:15.539 --> 01:05:18.940
Old Sparky. Old Sparky is the paddle that was

01:05:18.940 --> 01:05:21.619
administered to me many times at Cass Midway.

01:05:21.699 --> 01:05:26.739
He was in the trophy case there next to the state

01:05:26.739 --> 01:05:29.559
championships in football. Not baseball, right,

01:05:29.639 --> 01:05:35.039
Rob? But in football. So, yeah, he is in the

01:05:35.039 --> 01:05:37.039
middle there. Yeah, definitely not baseball.

01:05:37.690 --> 01:05:43.210
But in football, we had many of those. So he

01:05:43.210 --> 01:05:46.610
was a beautiful piece of work. You know, he had

01:05:46.610 --> 01:05:49.889
a lot of holes in him that you could gather more

01:05:49.889 --> 01:05:54.090
air when you're sliding across the air towards

01:05:54.090 --> 01:05:57.389
someone's bottom. It had a long stalk. That way

01:05:57.389 --> 01:05:59.989
you could get even more heat on him, and it hurt.

01:06:00.449 --> 01:06:03.849
So we're using old Sparky. We're using a replica

01:06:03.849 --> 01:06:08.550
of him. So, all right. First one is, all men

01:06:08.550 --> 01:06:11.170
that have their pants down to their ankles just

01:06:11.170 --> 01:06:13.690
to take a piss in the urinal. This is something

01:06:13.690 --> 01:06:15.590
I bitched about a couple months ago, remember?

01:06:16.610 --> 01:06:19.510
Yep. Some guy was in the middle urinal, there's

01:06:19.510 --> 01:06:21.630
three urinals, some guy's in the middle with

01:06:21.630 --> 01:06:25.190
his pants and underwear down to his ankles, pissing.

01:06:26.369 --> 01:06:30.210
I mean, his fucking white ass and everything

01:06:30.210 --> 01:06:33.070
just blinding you as you're walking in the pisser.

01:06:33.909 --> 01:06:37.659
And I... You might as well be a sitter. Go sit

01:06:37.659 --> 01:06:44.699
down. Don't do that. It was nasty. So, yeah,

01:06:44.860 --> 01:06:48.440
yeah. Go sit down. Don't do that bullshit. Don't

01:06:48.440 --> 01:06:51.400
subject us to looking at your ugly white ass.

01:06:52.320 --> 01:06:55.960
All right. Second one. All insurance companies

01:06:55.960 --> 01:06:58.780
and their henchmen employees. And this is back

01:06:58.780 --> 01:07:00.980
when that lady hit me and the insurance company

01:07:00.980 --> 01:07:04.699
fucked me over completely. and was like, oh,

01:07:04.699 --> 01:07:06.940
no, no, she didn't do that damage. She did this

01:07:06.940 --> 01:07:09.139
damage and that damage. And they know you can't

01:07:09.139 --> 01:07:10.719
fight it in court because you're going to spend

01:07:10.719 --> 01:07:12.900
more money fighting them, and they fucking suck.

01:07:12.960 --> 01:07:15.239
And insurance companies, all of them can suck

01:07:15.239 --> 01:07:18.360
me. They're fucking worthless. All right, the

01:07:18.360 --> 01:07:23.320
next one. Pepsi for caving in and making a prebiotic

01:07:23.320 --> 01:07:29.340
soda. Don't you agree, Rob? Yeah, definitely.

01:07:29.619 --> 01:07:32.849
Yeah, they're like, hi, we're Pepsi. And we are

01:07:32.849 --> 01:07:37.610
little bitches. We will follow a trend. We will

01:07:37.610 --> 01:07:40.969
sell our ass to try to make money. That's what

01:07:40.969 --> 01:07:43.530
they're saying. Like, hey, we're Pepsi, and we've

01:07:43.530 --> 01:07:46.030
been knocked down a few notches. We were number

01:07:46.030 --> 01:07:48.489
two. Now we're number four, solid. You know,

01:07:48.489 --> 01:07:52.389
many Sprite and Dr. Pepper overtook us, and Coke

01:07:52.389 --> 01:07:55.489
has always been over us. And since now, since

01:07:55.489 --> 01:07:58.030
we're falling behind so bad, we're going to go

01:07:58.030 --> 01:07:59.809
ahead and we're going to give you a prebiotic

01:07:59.809 --> 01:08:01.949
soda because we're the new kinder, gentler Pepsi.

01:08:03.170 --> 01:08:06.010
Well, you guys are getting ass paddling. All

01:08:06.010 --> 01:08:09.670
right. Birmingham International Airport for denying

01:08:09.670 --> 01:08:12.230
the name change to Ozzy Osbourne International.

01:08:12.670 --> 01:08:14.650
And they're going in the Hall of Fame, don't

01:08:14.650 --> 01:08:20.090
you think? Oh, definitely. Definitely. Hall of

01:08:20.090 --> 01:08:23.479
Fame. They should have changed it to Ozzy Osbourne

01:08:23.479 --> 01:08:26.939
International that fucking day. The day he passed

01:08:26.939 --> 01:08:28.920
away, they should have had a special legislative

01:08:28.920 --> 01:08:33.000
session, and they should have renamed it Ozzy

01:08:33.000 --> 01:08:35.680
Osbourne International. And my fact is this.

01:08:35.800 --> 01:08:37.800
You have John Lennon International. You have

01:08:37.800 --> 01:08:41.460
all these other names in Britain of these singers,

01:08:41.640 --> 01:08:45.079
of these performers. They have many other airports,

01:08:45.239 --> 01:08:47.779
like John Lennon Airport and all these other

01:08:47.779 --> 01:08:50.520
ones with these performers' names. Ozzy deserves

01:08:50.520 --> 01:08:54.880
to be there. Look at how much money that man

01:08:54.880 --> 01:08:59.220
spent flying in and out of there. Yeah, and also,

01:08:59.359 --> 01:09:02.779
look at how many... And a fortune off him. Wouldn't

01:09:02.779 --> 01:09:05.539
you fly there, Rob, just to check in to Ozzy

01:09:05.539 --> 01:09:09.760
Osbourne International? Just to have the plane

01:09:09.760 --> 01:09:15.399
ticket. Yeah. Yeah, I'm telling you, people would

01:09:15.399 --> 01:09:17.880
do it just because they wanted to check in there.

01:09:18.220 --> 01:09:20.579
You guys over there at Birmingham International

01:09:20.579 --> 01:09:25.359
missed a golden opportunity. And you are in the

01:09:25.359 --> 01:09:27.460
Hall of Fame of ass paddling, which means that

01:09:27.460 --> 01:09:29.560
we can bring you out at any given moment and

01:09:29.560 --> 01:09:33.859
paddle you. So, enjoy your Hall of Fame status,

01:09:34.140 --> 01:09:39.250
Birmingham International. All right. The next

01:09:39.250 --> 01:09:41.529
one, and I never got to this story, but I always

01:09:41.529 --> 01:09:43.630
wanted to paddle their ass, and let me explain

01:09:43.630 --> 01:09:46.310
it a little bit. The scientist that smeared yogurt

01:09:46.310 --> 01:09:48.649
on windows to see if it helped cool a house,

01:09:48.789 --> 01:09:52.289
and this was in England as well. I never got

01:09:52.289 --> 01:09:56.750
to that story. It interests me at first, and

01:09:56.750 --> 01:09:58.109
then after that, I was like, well, if I got nothing

01:09:58.109 --> 01:10:00.050
else to do, I'll do it. Well, I always had something

01:10:00.050 --> 01:10:03.329
else to do. But the fact that they smeared a

01:10:03.329 --> 01:10:07.779
house, all the windows, With yogurt to see if

01:10:07.779 --> 01:10:12.000
it would cool a house on a hot afternoon. They

01:10:12.000 --> 01:10:14.239
deserve an ass paddling. Do you agree with me,

01:10:14.279 --> 01:10:20.300
Rob? Yeah, they wasted good yogurt. Yes. Yeah.

01:10:21.760 --> 01:10:24.180
So they get an ass paddling. You should never

01:10:24.180 --> 01:10:26.840
do that to good yogurt. It should be eaten. It

01:10:26.840 --> 01:10:30.640
should be consumed. So you guys get an ass paddling.

01:10:31.720 --> 01:10:37.159
All right. Walmart. For allegedly overcharging

01:10:37.159 --> 01:10:39.920
customers. I did that story on an I Call Bullshit.

01:10:41.000 --> 01:10:47.319
Yeah. Yeah. And Walmart again, just a little

01:10:47.319 --> 01:10:49.779
side note, today I did the same thing that I

01:10:49.779 --> 01:10:52.460
always do because they pissed me off. Walmart,

01:10:52.600 --> 01:10:54.779
you do not have to let them check your receipt.

01:10:54.920 --> 01:10:57.460
It is not a club. You don't pay to come in there.

01:10:57.539 --> 01:10:59.840
So you don't sign something that says you have

01:10:59.840 --> 01:11:03.229
to adhere to their rules. So you don't have to

01:11:03.229 --> 01:11:05.210
let them look at your receipt. And it pisses

01:11:05.210 --> 01:11:07.729
me off every time. They act like you paid to

01:11:07.729 --> 01:11:13.229
come in there and it's a club. There's nothing

01:11:13.229 --> 01:11:15.470
legally that says you have to let them look through

01:11:15.470 --> 01:11:18.770
your stuff and check off your receipt. So they

01:11:18.770 --> 01:11:20.710
have this thing where you can get it texted or

01:11:20.710 --> 01:11:23.310
emailed to you. And I always just print it out.

01:11:23.449 --> 01:11:26.369
And I'll walk by the guy doing it that day. And

01:11:26.369 --> 01:11:29.489
I'll have the printed receipt in my hand while

01:11:29.489 --> 01:11:32.189
I'm talking to him. And he'll go, can I see your

01:11:32.189 --> 01:11:34.970
receipt in your cart? And I go, oh, I don't have

01:11:34.970 --> 01:11:37.710
my receipt. I had it emailed to me. And he's

01:11:37.710 --> 01:11:42.750
looking at it in my hand. And this is a different

01:11:42.750 --> 01:11:44.750
guy, but the same look on his face. They want

01:11:44.750 --> 01:11:47.390
to say something like, well, what's that in your

01:11:47.390 --> 01:11:50.289
hand? But they can't. They know you're fucking

01:11:50.289 --> 01:11:52.569
with them, but they can't say anything. And I'm

01:11:52.569 --> 01:11:53.989
just sitting there going, yeah, I don't have

01:11:53.989 --> 01:11:56.229
it. I don't have it. It's emailed to me, and

01:11:56.229 --> 01:11:58.369
I'm not going to go through my emails. I'm in

01:11:58.369 --> 01:12:01.229
a hurry. I've got to get somewhere. And they

01:12:01.229 --> 01:12:05.930
very reluctantly go, okay. And then I walk off

01:12:05.930 --> 01:12:07.649
with a big smile on my face while I'm looking

01:12:07.649 --> 01:12:11.050
at the receipt. And I do this to prove a point.

01:12:11.569 --> 01:12:14.829
It's bullshit. I don't pay to come in there.

01:12:15.350 --> 01:12:17.789
So I don't have to sign anything that says I

01:12:17.789 --> 01:12:21.029
have to follow these rules. You go into a Costco

01:12:21.029 --> 01:12:23.630
or a Sam's Club, when you buy that membership

01:12:23.630 --> 01:12:26.770
and you sign that, you're agreeing to them looking

01:12:26.770 --> 01:12:29.090
through your receipt when you leave. When you

01:12:29.090 --> 01:12:31.800
walk in Walmart, You do not agree with that when

01:12:31.800 --> 01:12:35.460
you're walking in. So, all right. Okay, I get

01:12:35.460 --> 01:12:39.640
that. Now, here in Camden to Walmart, we don't

01:12:39.640 --> 01:12:46.340
have anybody at the doors. We have the cashiers

01:12:46.340 --> 01:12:48.560
and we have the people at the self -checkout.

01:12:49.239 --> 01:12:52.859
One person at each self -checkout at each door.

01:12:54.119 --> 01:12:56.680
Okay. That's all we have. There is nobody at

01:12:56.680 --> 01:12:59.579
the doors checking your receipt, nothing like

01:12:59.579 --> 01:13:03.520
that. Well, my Walmart there is. Maybe there's

01:13:03.520 --> 01:13:06.640
like a lot of theft activity. I don't know. It's

01:13:06.640 --> 01:13:09.039
probably a city thing. It's kind of what I'm

01:13:09.039 --> 01:13:11.779
thinking. It probably is. I don't know. I haven't

01:13:11.779 --> 01:13:14.680
been to any other Walmart, so I don't know. Okay.

01:13:15.180 --> 01:13:18.000
Okay, well, for whatever reason, they do it at

01:13:18.000 --> 01:13:20.119
my Walmart that I go into, the one down the road.

01:13:20.199 --> 01:13:23.600
It's a mile away from me, so I go there. And

01:13:23.600 --> 01:13:25.699
it just pisses me off when they try to rummage

01:13:25.699 --> 01:13:28.020
through my stuff in my receipt, so I do that.

01:13:28.430 --> 01:13:31.409
And I encourage everybody to do that. Get your

01:13:31.409 --> 01:13:33.189
receipt printed, put it in your hand, and when

01:13:33.189 --> 01:13:35.189
you walk by, if you are subject to that like

01:13:35.189 --> 01:13:38.630
I am, walk by the receipt in your hand, look

01:13:38.630 --> 01:13:40.649
them in the face and go, I had it emailed to

01:13:40.649 --> 01:13:42.569
me and I'm in a hurry. I'm not going to look

01:13:42.569 --> 01:13:46.130
through my emails. Why, did you think you seen

01:13:46.130 --> 01:13:48.810
me take something? No. Okay. End of subject.

01:13:48.949 --> 01:13:52.149
I'm gone. Meanwhile, you have your receipt in

01:13:52.149 --> 01:13:54.050
your hand and you wave to them and they can see

01:13:54.050 --> 01:13:55.489
it and there's not a damn thing they can say

01:13:55.489 --> 01:13:58.500
about it. And if they do, it's harassment. It's

01:13:58.500 --> 01:14:01.300
like, wait a minute. I told you I had an email

01:14:01.300 --> 01:14:04.159
to me, and you're calling me a liar. You're telling

01:14:04.159 --> 01:14:07.100
me that this is this receipt in hand. No, I had

01:14:07.100 --> 01:14:09.060
to take something back earlier. It's an old receipt.

01:14:10.619 --> 01:14:13.319
That'll shut them down really quick. So, hey,

01:14:13.380 --> 01:14:15.159
I encourage everybody to do that if you're subject

01:14:15.159 --> 01:14:19.739
to that. All right. Mitch for trying to steal

01:14:19.739 --> 01:14:22.239
Ronnie and Tulsa's title. Remember he tried to

01:14:22.239 --> 01:14:28.420
do that on one of his emails? Yes. So therefore,

01:14:28.579 --> 01:14:32.300
Mitch, you are also in the Hall of Fame. Ronnie

01:14:32.300 --> 01:14:35.039
is royalty and you don't touch him. Right, Rob?

01:14:36.260 --> 01:14:39.760
And therefore, Mitch, you also, since I cannot

01:14:39.760 --> 01:14:44.619
be there, Mitch, you are in the dunk tank. Yes,

01:14:44.699 --> 01:14:47.180
and Ronnie can do whatever he wants. He can come

01:14:47.180 --> 01:14:49.079
over there and he can smash you or whatever.

01:14:49.920 --> 01:14:53.319
I'm actually, I'm recommending a ball smash myself.

01:14:54.880 --> 01:15:00.300
Ronnie, come on. Go have fun. There you go, Ronnie.

01:15:01.640 --> 01:15:05.079
No, no, no. Wait a second. What are we saying?

01:15:05.159 --> 01:15:07.460
Now Ronnie's going to be pissed off at us. Hang

01:15:07.460 --> 01:15:11.880
on, hang on. Sorry, Tulsa King. We're sorry,

01:15:12.000 --> 01:15:14.239
Ronnie. We take it back, Ronnie. We're sorry.

01:15:14.659 --> 01:15:17.920
I will not be there to have your back. I'm sorry.

01:15:19.260 --> 01:15:21.800
Ronnie knows we love him, and he knows that we're

01:15:21.800 --> 01:15:24.079
defending him, and he also knows that he's royalty.

01:15:24.840 --> 01:15:27.520
And Mitch is Ronnie's bitch. I'll say that right

01:15:27.520 --> 01:15:33.479
now. All right. Next one. Coca -Cola for forcing

01:15:33.479 --> 01:15:36.300
their drink in Latin American countries, like

01:15:36.300 --> 01:15:40.100
I reported on another I Call Bullshit. Right.

01:15:41.199 --> 01:15:43.640
Listen to it. It's a short take that we're starting

01:15:43.640 --> 01:15:46.979
to do. Rob has a few, too, I believe you said,

01:15:47.079 --> 01:15:51.760
right? Yeah, yeah. I've got some that I'm going

01:15:51.760 --> 01:15:54.619
to start coming up with. Okay, so it's going

01:15:54.619 --> 01:15:57.239
to be a regular segment. It's like chewing gum,

01:15:57.359 --> 01:16:00.460
okay? We're like bubble gum, and these are like

01:16:00.460 --> 01:16:02.779
little strips of chewing gum to keep you busy

01:16:02.779 --> 01:16:05.140
chewing while you're not chewing on the main

01:16:05.140 --> 01:16:09.739
thing, right? Well, what I'm taking is I'm going

01:16:09.739 --> 01:16:14.260
to use mine like a segment, like my regular stories,

01:16:14.340 --> 01:16:16.520
but I'm going to throw them in, like my lists,

01:16:16.699 --> 01:16:20.039
stuff like that, is what I'm taking I'm going

01:16:20.039 --> 01:16:22.840
to do. Well, these short takes are really cool

01:16:22.840 --> 01:16:24.760
that I'm starting to do because they generate

01:16:24.760 --> 01:16:29.680
a lot of hits. Actually, you know what? Yeah,

01:16:29.819 --> 01:16:33.380
I mean, what I got planned would be great for

01:16:33.380 --> 01:16:36.939
that, honestly. You and I will talk off of the

01:16:36.939 --> 01:16:39.600
show, okay? Yeah, yeah, yeah, because we'll have

01:16:39.600 --> 01:16:42.079
to do the recording on different nights and stuff.

01:16:42.239 --> 01:16:45.930
Yeah, yeah, we'll get to it. Okay. Next one,

01:16:45.970 --> 01:16:48.090
Mexican government for their part in this whole

01:16:48.090 --> 01:16:51.069
thing. Coca -Cola and Mexican government getting

01:16:51.069 --> 01:16:53.689
together and figuring this out. They deserve

01:16:53.689 --> 01:16:58.489
an ass paddling as well. And then finally, all

01:16:58.489 --> 01:17:01.449
of the Kansas City Chiefs backups for their dismal

01:17:01.449 --> 01:17:05.130
performances in all three preseason games that

01:17:05.130 --> 01:17:07.829
they lost. It doesn't matter that they lost them.

01:17:07.890 --> 01:17:12.609
Their first stringers look amazing. Amazing.

01:17:14.549 --> 01:17:40.680
I didn't watch a single game, to be honest. So,

01:17:40.680 --> 01:17:43.140
I'm not worried about that, but the backups look

01:17:43.140 --> 01:17:47.100
like a bunch of Keystone cops fucking bumping

01:17:47.100 --> 01:17:49.640
into each other and fucking running around. So,

01:17:49.800 --> 01:17:52.539
we better not get very many injuries. That's

01:17:52.539 --> 01:17:55.460
all I've got to say. So, anyhow, that is the

01:17:55.460 --> 01:18:00.060
Ask Padlins. Rob, we turn this to you. Okay,

01:18:00.100 --> 01:18:04.319
well, we just mentioned lists. So, my list, I

01:18:04.319 --> 01:18:15.140
have one here. Okay. But it's not always as simple

01:18:15.140 --> 01:18:19.760
as picking a name that sounds nice. Hospitals

01:18:19.760 --> 01:18:23.020
and parenting organizations have started releasing

01:18:23.020 --> 01:18:27.939
lists of baby's names that raise cultural sensitivity

01:18:27.939 --> 01:18:31.539
concerns, reminding parents to think carefully

01:18:31.539 --> 01:18:37.220
about history, traditions, and the impact a name

01:18:37.220 --> 01:18:44.500
might have on a child's future. Okay. I do too.

01:18:46.039 --> 01:18:51.119
Okay, and there's a list of eight. The first

01:18:51.119 --> 01:18:57.399
one is Nevaeh. Nevaeh. Yeah, it's a beautiful

01:18:57.399 --> 01:19:02.060
name. It is, I like it. Okay, well here's their

01:19:02.060 --> 01:19:23.810
explanation. Okay. dismissive to certain faith

01:19:23.810 --> 01:19:30.829
groups that hold sacred views about heaven. Wow.

01:19:32.529 --> 01:20:18.619
Okay. Okay? Mm -hmm. I like it. Okay. Yeah, but

01:20:18.619 --> 01:20:23.100
honestly, I've never, I've always heard kids

01:20:23.100 --> 01:20:28.819
nickname Chief. Never named Chief. Um, I always

01:20:28.819 --> 01:20:31.380
did it as a gag. Like, if you're trying to screw

01:20:31.380 --> 01:20:34.579
with someone, you go, that's right, Chief. Yeah,

01:20:34.579 --> 01:20:37.420
yeah. But I, I, I kind of like it. I gotta admit,

01:20:37.500 --> 01:20:40.159
I kind of like it. I, I don't know. Hey, what's

01:20:40.159 --> 01:20:43.960
your name? Chief. No, what's your, no, it's Chief.

01:20:45.760 --> 01:20:50.579
I like it. Anyhow, go ahead. Okay, next. Gypsy.

01:20:53.100 --> 01:20:56.300
I actually... Name it. Oh, go ahead. I actually

01:20:56.300 --> 01:20:59.140
know a lady named Gypsy. But anyhow, go ahead.

01:21:00.020 --> 01:21:03.920
Oh, there's a famous one right there. Okay. Yeah,

01:21:03.939 --> 01:21:06.020
she killed her mom down in Springfield. Made

01:21:06.020 --> 01:21:10.079
a famous... Oh. Gypsy Rose. Gypsy Rose. Oh, okay.

01:21:10.159 --> 01:21:13.260
Yep. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, that happened in Springfield.

01:21:13.319 --> 01:21:18.920
So, yeah. Okay. Now she's famous. Yeah. But this

01:21:18.920 --> 01:21:21.899
name has been criticized for its connection to

01:21:21.899 --> 01:21:25.180
harmful stereotypes about the Romani people.

01:21:25.979 --> 01:21:28.979
Hospitals highlight that the word has often been

01:21:28.979 --> 01:21:34.340
used in discriminatory ways, making it an inappropriate

01:21:34.340 --> 01:21:42.359
choice for a child. Okay. I get that. Yeah. Yeah,

01:21:42.380 --> 01:21:55.850
I do too. Okay. ISIS. Okay, I like that because

01:21:55.850 --> 01:22:02.430
that was a comic character. Remember? They ended

01:22:02.430 --> 01:22:07.189
up actually turning into an actual TV show. Yes.

01:22:07.529 --> 01:22:10.310
Yeah, I think this was in the 80s, wasn't it?

01:22:10.369 --> 01:22:15.090
Early 80s? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it was pretty

01:22:15.090 --> 01:22:26.899
good. I liked it. ISIS now has now been flagged

01:22:26.899 --> 01:22:30.420
due to its association with the extremist group.

01:22:30.979 --> 01:22:35.079
Oh, okay. Man, I didn't even think about that.

01:22:35.140 --> 01:22:40.060
I said, yeah, see, I read the name ISIS. I said,

01:22:40.060 --> 01:22:43.020
man, that's a beautiful name. Why? And I read

01:22:43.020 --> 01:22:45.560
the reading and it said that. Okay, I don't need

01:22:45.560 --> 01:22:47.439
to read anymore of that. You know what? I get

01:22:47.439 --> 01:22:50.659
it now. I didn't think about that. I didn't.

01:22:54.050 --> 01:23:02.029
Okay. Okay, the next one. Messiah. Wow. I really

01:23:02.029 --> 01:23:04.069
don't need to give a description on that one.

01:23:04.170 --> 01:23:08.109
No, and I don't agree with that one at all. No,

01:23:08.189 --> 01:23:11.770
I don't either. To me, that's poor taste. And

01:23:11.770 --> 01:23:15.109
you're setting your kid up for a lot of failures,

01:23:15.310 --> 01:23:18.289
in my opinion. How can you live up to Messiah?

01:23:18.569 --> 01:23:22.390
No one can live up to Messiah, except the Messiah.

01:23:23.770 --> 01:23:26.890
Who I believe is Jesus Christ, but you can believe

01:23:26.890 --> 01:23:31.770
whatever you want. I'm not here to argue. Okay,

01:23:31.829 --> 01:23:42.409
next up. Coco. Okay, okay. Don't often say it's

01:23:42.409 --> 01:23:46.970
playful. Coco has been flagged in some regions

01:23:46.970 --> 01:23:58.340
for its cultural implications. Okay. which could

01:23:58.340 --> 01:24:04.920
cause problems for children. Okay. All right.

01:24:07.100 --> 01:24:11.140
Yeah, so, you know, somebody from a different

01:24:11.140 --> 01:24:15.000
country hears you say cocoa, they think something

01:24:15.000 --> 01:24:19.079
else, you know. Yeah, I get it. Since you explained

01:24:19.079 --> 01:24:22.920
it, I get it now. Okay. And it spells C -O -C

01:24:22.920 --> 01:24:28.439
-O. Okay. So it's spelt like cocoa, or no, no,

01:24:28.479 --> 01:24:32.159
no, yeah, C -O -A, C -O -A, or is it C -O? Okay,

01:24:32.819 --> 01:24:36.439
C -O -C, yeah, it's just C -O -C -O. Okay, all

01:24:36.439 --> 01:24:39.640
right, cool. Not like chocolate cocoa. Yeah,

01:24:39.720 --> 01:24:42.479
yeah, it's like the other cocoa, like name. Okay.

01:24:42.760 --> 01:24:48.340
Yeah. Okay, next we have, and it's going to be,

01:24:48.460 --> 01:25:03.489
you'll get it right off the bat. Okay. Yep. Yeah,

01:25:03.729 --> 01:25:10.010
okay. I agree. It's just like my friends, well,

01:25:10.210 --> 01:25:12.329
they're more kind of acquaintances, but anyhow,

01:25:12.569 --> 01:25:15.609
with their kid, Alistair. Kind of almost like

01:25:15.609 --> 01:25:21.250
the same thing. Yes, yes. Okay, and finally,

01:25:21.569 --> 01:25:30.840
Dixie. I like Dixie. Oh, yeah, that's it. It

01:25:30.840 --> 01:25:34.920
is. Dixie has long been used in the American

01:25:34.920 --> 01:25:38.439
South, but it's cultural baggage tied to slavery

01:25:38.439 --> 01:25:46.039
and the Confederacy. Okay. Yeah, I get it. That

01:25:46.039 --> 01:25:50.739
could be a family name, too. To me, Dixie, I

01:25:50.739 --> 01:25:53.699
think like Dixie Stampede. I don't think of all

01:25:53.699 --> 01:25:57.319
that other stuff. Some people may. You know,

01:25:57.380 --> 01:26:00.170
I don't know. I think it's a cute name, but okay,

01:26:00.289 --> 01:26:07.729
I guess, okay, whatever. Well, I've done my study

01:26:07.729 --> 01:26:14.810
on Civil War and stuff, so, you know, yeah. It's

01:26:14.810 --> 01:26:17.670
not what you learn in school. We'll just say

01:26:17.670 --> 01:26:21.869
that. Yeah, yeah. So, okay, all right. Thank

01:26:21.869 --> 01:26:25.630
you, Rob. That's an interesting list, nonetheless.

01:26:26.050 --> 01:26:33.930
Would you agree? Yeah, actually, I really like

01:26:33.930 --> 01:26:36.890
this. Even though we're too old to name kids.

01:26:37.310 --> 01:26:43.149
Yeah, but I still liked it, so thank you. I got

01:26:43.149 --> 01:26:46.010
a little story here real quick. In 2024, Burger

01:26:46.010 --> 01:26:48.550
King hosted its million -dollar Whopper competition

01:26:48.550 --> 01:26:52.630
to let fans create their dream burger. The finalists,

01:26:52.710 --> 01:26:57.310
a fried pickle ranch Whopper, which sounds fantastic,

01:26:57.630 --> 01:27:07.069
doesn't it? Fried Pickle Ranch Whopper. I hear

01:27:07.069 --> 01:27:11.210
hearts and angels. I just had dinner a while

01:27:11.210 --> 01:27:14.890
ago and that made me hungry. Yeah, me too. And

01:27:14.890 --> 01:27:17.569
I just had dinner a while ago too. Yeah, right

01:27:17.569 --> 01:27:21.289
before we came in here. The next one is Maple

01:27:21.289 --> 01:27:24.710
Bourbon Barbecue Whopper. Which sounds good.

01:27:24.789 --> 01:27:28.500
Real good. That sounds good. Yeah. And this one

01:27:28.500 --> 01:27:31.039
I found interesting. Now, this is either going

01:27:31.039 --> 01:27:34.800
to be fantastic or horrible. This is Mexican

01:27:34.800 --> 01:27:42.899
Street Corn Whopper. That could be interesting.

01:27:43.399 --> 01:27:46.720
If done right, it would have to be done right.

01:27:46.979 --> 01:27:49.880
Well, it doesn't matter because the one that

01:27:49.880 --> 01:27:52.460
won was the Maple Bourbon Barbecue Whopper, and

01:27:52.460 --> 01:27:54.760
that's the one that they're going to do. Now,

01:27:54.800 --> 01:27:57.000
it doesn't mean the other finalists they're not

01:27:57.000 --> 01:28:00.359
going to do eventually, but the winner, the maple

01:28:00.359 --> 01:28:02.220
bourbon barbecue whopper, is the one they're

01:28:02.220 --> 01:28:05.199
definitely going to come out with now. I think

01:28:05.199 --> 01:28:08.520
the first one's going to end up coming out with

01:28:08.520 --> 01:28:11.079
it. Me too, the fried pickle. I don't know about

01:28:11.079 --> 01:28:14.119
the Mexican corn. I mean, it sounds good. I don't

01:28:14.119 --> 01:28:18.199
think that's going to come out. I think the fried

01:28:18.199 --> 01:28:20.840
pickle ranch whopper, of course, and the maple

01:28:20.840 --> 01:28:24.609
bourbon barbecue whopper is going to. But Burger

01:28:24.609 --> 01:28:28.670
King didn't stop with its contest. The chain

01:28:28.670 --> 01:28:31.010
has been bringing customer Whopper requests to

01:28:31.010 --> 01:28:33.569
the menu throughout this year, including the

01:28:33.569 --> 01:28:37.529
Steakhouse Bacon Whopper. That sounds solid to

01:28:37.529 --> 01:28:44.529
me. And the Barbecue Brisket Whopper. That sounds

01:28:44.529 --> 01:28:51.300
phenomenal. Now, the chain is expanding its new

01:28:51.300 --> 01:28:53.659
Whopper by You platform with an all -new burger,

01:28:53.760 --> 01:28:56.739
once again inspired by guests. Burger King is

01:28:56.739 --> 01:28:59.159
introducing the new Crispy Onion Whopper for

01:28:59.159 --> 01:29:04.960
a limited time. Yeah. Yeah, Crispy Onion Whopper.

01:29:04.960 --> 01:29:08.840
Okay, Burger King, you have to come back to Canton.

01:29:10.000 --> 01:29:13.220
Burger King, you got me. You have to. Come back

01:29:13.220 --> 01:29:15.899
to the Lake Area, please. You know, just when

01:29:15.899 --> 01:29:18.979
I think I'm out, Burger King. You bring me back

01:29:18.979 --> 01:29:26.859
in. The closest Burger King I have is Lebanon,

01:29:27.039 --> 01:29:34.359
and it's a half hour away. You know, for a barbecue

01:29:34.359 --> 01:29:43.279
beef whopper, wouldn't you do that? No. No, you

01:29:43.279 --> 01:29:46.619
wouldn't go a half hour for that? Good, good.

01:29:46.939 --> 01:29:50.859
Because here's what I would do. I would drive

01:29:50.859 --> 01:29:54.659
an hour to Jeff City and get a quality one. Oh,

01:29:54.659 --> 01:29:56.880
you're right. You told me about the one in Lebanon.

01:29:57.100 --> 01:30:00.760
Okay. Okay, yeah, you're right. You're right.

01:30:01.560 --> 01:30:03.939
Not the greatest. Not the greatest, but it's

01:30:03.939 --> 01:30:08.039
the closest Burger King. I got you. I could get

01:30:08.039 --> 01:30:11.340
a half -assed Whopper. Well, I've got the serial

01:30:11.340 --> 01:30:14.619
killer Burger King right up the road. And I'm

01:30:14.619 --> 01:30:18.310
not kidding you. Yeah. There's been two or three,

01:30:18.310 --> 01:30:20.670
I think it's three serial killers worked there

01:30:20.670 --> 01:30:25.789
over time. So needless to say, I don't go there.

01:30:27.890 --> 01:30:31.869
Okay, so this goes with the trend I've been noticing.

01:30:32.909 --> 01:30:35.289
Before, you would never see a McDonald's close

01:30:35.289 --> 01:30:39.550
anywhere for decades, right? Yeah. Yeah, they

01:30:39.550 --> 01:30:41.489
were always there. They're the steady Eddie.

01:30:41.609 --> 01:30:43.779
You knew McDonald's was going to be there. You

01:30:43.779 --> 01:30:45.920
didn't know if a Burger King or a Wendy's or

01:30:45.920 --> 01:30:48.560
a Pizza Hut or something would be there. But

01:30:48.560 --> 01:30:51.039
you knew that the McDonald's would always be

01:30:51.039 --> 01:30:53.039
there. And usually they end up replacing the

01:30:53.039 --> 01:30:57.000
building or something. But over the last three

01:30:57.000 --> 01:30:59.420
to four years, I've noticed quite a few McDonald's

01:30:59.420 --> 01:31:02.920
shutting its doors. I know three in the central

01:31:02.920 --> 01:31:05.020
and south sections of Kansas City that have.

01:31:06.800 --> 01:31:09.840
It seems to me like McDonald's have been out

01:31:09.840 --> 01:31:14.760
of answers for a while now. have been coming

01:31:14.760 --> 01:31:20.020
up with new products and ideas. And I really

01:31:20.020 --> 01:31:21.960
do think, I mean, well, there's no doubt that

01:31:21.960 --> 01:31:24.539
McDonald's in trouble. You know, a lot of the

01:31:24.539 --> 01:31:26.880
Z -ers and the millennials, they don't care for

01:31:26.880 --> 01:31:30.220
it. And it seems to me like McDonald's, I mean,

01:31:30.220 --> 01:31:32.600
that McCosmax that they came out with, they're

01:31:32.600 --> 01:31:36.739
all shut down already. Yeah, see, I haven't read

01:31:36.739 --> 01:31:38.739
anything about it. I heard nothing about them.

01:31:38.819 --> 01:31:41.880
I figured they probably would be shut down. Oh,

01:31:41.880 --> 01:31:45.960
I did a story on it. a few back, remember? The

01:31:45.960 --> 01:31:48.359
only two in existence shut down, they were in

01:31:48.359 --> 01:31:51.000
Texas, and there are no more. Oh, that's right,

01:31:51.140 --> 01:31:55.539
you did. Yeah, there's no more. So, to me, it

01:31:55.539 --> 01:31:57.180
kind of looks like McDonald's better get his

01:31:57.180 --> 01:32:00.539
head out of his ass. Well, I don't know. The

01:32:00.539 --> 01:32:05.939
whole 27 years I've lived here at the lake, between

01:32:05.939 --> 01:32:10.260
Campton and Bagel Dam, there was four McDonald's,

01:32:10.279 --> 01:32:13.399
and that's only a 20 -minute drive. Are they

01:32:13.399 --> 01:32:19.300
still there? Yeah. Wow. Actually, the one at

01:32:19.300 --> 01:32:22.239
KK, they closed and built a bigger, nicer one

01:32:22.239 --> 01:32:25.880
across the bridge. Maybe I'm wrong then. Maybe

01:32:25.880 --> 01:32:27.960
it's just what I've seen. Maybe it's just around

01:32:27.960 --> 01:32:31.739
me that I've seen this. Okay. All right. I don't

01:32:31.739 --> 01:32:34.439
know. McDonald's is a big pet down here. Okay.

01:32:35.659 --> 01:32:38.159
Well, I do know this. I mean, it's a great place

01:32:38.159 --> 01:32:41.500
to go get quick food. And people are down at

01:32:41.500 --> 01:32:46.100
the lake, you know. They've got stuff going on,

01:32:46.220 --> 01:32:47.939
so they're like, you know, I don't have time

01:32:47.939 --> 01:32:50.819
to go in and get a sandwich somewhere, so I'm

01:32:50.819 --> 01:32:52.640
just going to run through McDonald's, take me

01:32:52.640 --> 01:32:55.960
a couple of minutes. It's either that or go to

01:32:55.960 --> 01:33:00.739
a nicer restaurant, spend twice as much, you've

01:33:00.739 --> 01:33:07.600
got kids. There's a lot of kids down here, honestly.

01:33:07.659 --> 01:33:10.359
That's true, that's true. A 20 -pack of chicken

01:33:10.359 --> 01:33:12.930
nuggets. It goes a long way with three kids.

01:33:13.710 --> 01:33:17.569
That's true. That's true. All right. Yeah, my

01:33:17.569 --> 01:33:21.029
daughter grabs my grandson's chicken nuggets

01:33:21.029 --> 01:33:24.350
all the time. Oh, it's like the perfect meal

01:33:24.350 --> 01:33:26.770
for kids. They love them, and they give you a

01:33:26.770 --> 01:33:30.090
lot of them, and they're pretty low cost. So,

01:33:30.109 --> 01:33:33.430
I get it. Of course, most of the time it's with

01:33:33.430 --> 01:33:37.199
Pawpaw's money, but, you know. Well, yeah. Yeah,

01:33:37.199 --> 01:33:40.359
that goes without saying. Papa is covered in

01:33:40.359 --> 01:33:44.039
this. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, well, when the

01:33:44.039 --> 01:33:47.340
little man is trained to walk up and say, Papa,

01:33:47.579 --> 01:33:52.880
can I have McDonald's money? Yeah, he does that

01:33:52.880 --> 01:33:59.239
to me. And what does Papa do? Goes and gets swallowed.

01:34:00.600 --> 01:34:05.319
Yes, that's what Papa does. Oh, hey, hey. Yeah.

01:34:10.380 --> 01:34:13.680
My grandson, for those that don't know who we're

01:34:13.680 --> 01:34:19.460
talking about, he will be five years old December

01:34:19.460 --> 01:34:24.420
17th. Wow, cool. Right? Uh -huh. Okay? Will be

01:34:24.420 --> 01:34:30.539
five December 17th. Okay. Guess what? What? He

01:34:30.539 --> 01:34:41.119
just started kindergarten. That's nice. He's

01:34:41.119 --> 01:34:48.619
doing great. Because he tested so high, they

01:34:48.619 --> 01:34:53.300
went ahead and started him in kindergarten. A

01:34:53.300 --> 01:34:58.359
year early. Very cool. Good. Yeah. We're still

01:34:58.359 --> 01:35:00.119
trying to figure out where the hell he got it

01:35:00.119 --> 01:35:06.960
from. Fucking good. We're still trying to figure

01:35:06.960 --> 01:35:09.119
out where this boy got it from. You know what?

01:35:09.260 --> 01:35:11.930
Go with it. Go with it. You know what? You'll

01:35:11.930 --> 01:35:14.590
never know. Maybe he'll make you your dream house

01:35:14.590 --> 01:35:18.729
later. Oh, he better. Pawpaw, he filled me up

01:35:18.729 --> 01:35:21.529
with chicken nuggets. Pawpaw needs it. Pawpaw

01:35:21.529 --> 01:35:23.170
needs it. He filled me up with chicken nuggets.

01:35:23.270 --> 01:35:28.069
He gets the dream house. Pawpaw wants his 20

01:35:28.069 --> 01:35:30.750
-acre farm. Yeah, we've got to get Pawpaw. You

01:35:30.750 --> 01:35:32.449
know how many chicken nuggets he shoved down

01:35:32.449 --> 01:35:43.710
my throat? He gets his 20 -acre farm. And there'll

01:35:43.710 --> 01:35:45.869
be buttermilk too, right? Buttermilk chicken

01:35:45.869 --> 01:35:50.189
nuggets? Yeah, whatever you want. Yeah. Individually

01:35:50.189 --> 01:35:52.989
spiced. He doesn't just like, he doesn't take

01:35:52.989 --> 01:35:56.109
the flour and just spice it up there. Each one

01:35:56.109 --> 01:35:58.670
of them gets individually spiced because Rob

01:35:58.670 --> 01:36:04.069
cares, right? Yes. Yeah. Okay. All right. It

01:36:04.069 --> 01:36:05.989
is 930. Do you want to keep going or do you want

01:36:05.989 --> 01:36:08.310
to call this shit show? Oh, no, dude. I got to

01:36:08.310 --> 01:36:12.090
get, yeah, I got to get off here. Okay. Hi, Alvin.

01:36:12.840 --> 01:36:14.659
Like I said, I'm working a five -day tomorrow

01:36:14.659 --> 01:36:16.720
night, so it's going to be a rush job tomorrow

01:36:16.720 --> 01:36:19.340
night. All right. Okay. Well, you know what,

01:36:19.380 --> 01:36:21.539
Rob? Thank you for doing this. We appreciate

01:36:21.539 --> 01:36:23.260
you doing this, and I know a lot of people out

01:36:23.260 --> 01:36:26.119
there appreciate it because you are a busy man.

01:36:26.640 --> 01:36:31.600
So, anyhow, hi, Albuquerque. Hi, Grandma Opal.

01:36:31.600 --> 01:36:36.619
Hi, Jimmy. Have a good night, assholes. Hi, everybody.

01:36:41.739 --> 01:36:44.840
Looks like the show's over, kids. Mark has explosive

01:36:44.840 --> 01:36:48.500
diarrhea and can't afford a wireless mic. Fear

01:36:48.500 --> 01:36:50.939
not, assholes. They'll be back invading your

01:36:50.939 --> 01:36:51.720
ear holes soon.