WEBVTT

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Hey, you fucking derelicts. It's time for the

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Daily Douchebag Pledge. I, Joe or Jane Listener,

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hereby promise to download the show. I, Joe or

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Jane Listener. Hereby promise to grab other people's

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phones, unattended computers, public computers,

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and all of my work computers as well, and download

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the show from there. I, Joe or Jane Listener,

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hereby promise to make other people listen. I,

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Joe or Jane Listener. will hereby lie to everyone

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about how quality the show is. I, Joe or Jane

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Listener, promise to make all my family members

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listen and recite the daily douchebag pledge.

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And finally, I, Joe or Jane Listener, hereby

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promise to make the trek to Knobloch, Missouri,

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just to have a selfie with the Knobloch sign.

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Here at Two Douchebags and a Microphone, we don't

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stand behind our journalistic integrity. Go ahead

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and assume we got the story wrong. At least we

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admit it. Not like all those other guys. We can

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and will lie if it makes the story better. Two

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douchebags and a microphone. Strange, but true.

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In 2013, a prisoner in Sweden escaped from jail

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due to a severe toothache. as he was unable to

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receive timely dental care. After breaking out,

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he visited a dentist, had the infected tooth

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removed and subsequently returned to prison voluntarily.

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Authorities then provided him with transportation

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back to the facility and tacked on one day extra

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to a sentence for escaping. And now we look in

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on the adventures of the technical explanation

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guy. Excuse me, my dear sir. Could you please

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put my plain bread in a small countertop appliance

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with heating elements that would spring loaded

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and would brown my bread adequately? Well, first

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off, I'm not a waiter. I'm just a guy over there

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sitting at the table having a drink. Second off,

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are you talking about someone toasting your bread?

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Well, yes. Yes, I am. I'm talking about my bread

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being toasted. Then why don't you just ask for

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your bread to be toasted, you dumb bastard? The

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hell's wrong with you? Hey, look. I think we

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found land. Oh, my God. I think we're safe. Oh,

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no. It's an island of horrible jokes. Why do

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golfers take an extra pair of socks with them

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when they golf? In case they get a hole in one.

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Two bush bags and microphone in an effort to

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keep everything fresh. We offer you... First

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world problems. Damn it. I can't decide between

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nachos, chili, or wings for the game tonight.

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This is bullshit. I should not have to make decisions

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like this. You watched the news. It looks grim.

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Is an apocalypse inevitable? We suggest you download

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all our podcasts beforehand and have multiple

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mobile chargers. We have the post -apocalypse.

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Who may die from plants are essential. The dyes

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can be used to mark locations on trees, even

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to color clothing or to be laid out to where

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footprints or paw prints could be left. The dye

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can be placed on the ground around the perimeter

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of your dwelling, so if you have to leave, evidence

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will be present to assess the situation. This

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is Two Douchebags and Microphone. I'm Mark. I'm

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at the Mobile Talk is Cheap studio in Eureka

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Springs, Arkansas at the Flatiron Suites, Flatiron

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Flat Suites, on the balcony overlooking the Basin

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Park Hotel and restaurants and bars and everything.

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And it's going to be a little noisy here tonight,

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but anyhow. Like we're talking before in an ideal

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world we'd all be together here having fun, but

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then again, you know, I'm already Yeah, sorry

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about your luck You know, I'm a few deep in yin

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-lings and this and that, so if you were here,

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we probably wouldn't even be doing the fucking

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podcast. Let's be honest. Oh, no. No, I guarantee

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we would not. No, no. We'd be like, hey, you

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feel like, no. Well, I don't know. They might

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enjoy that show. You know what? It'd probably

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be better than all our other shows. I'd be going,

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hey, no, no, no. No, you guys get drunk, okay?

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Come on. Come on, man. We want to hear that stuff.

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We'll be an overnight. We would have been in

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it. Oh, in the 80s. Oh, in the 80s. I would not

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have had enough time between getting drunk and

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trying to fucking bag chicks to even learn the

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software. I'd look up, I'd go over here and go,

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no, you know what, I don't think that's for me.

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Yeah, I like talking, but no, I don't think that's

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for me. This software looks like it's going to

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take a couple of days to figure out. I can't

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have that. I can't have that in my life right

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now. Anyhow, the levels actually look pretty

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good. She is inside in the room taking a nap

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or trying to. It's kind of noisy. No, no, no.

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That's the only reason I'm doing this. Talking

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like this is because, yes, you're right. So...

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I'm going to go ahead and get on to a couple

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of things. You said the levels are good. I was

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going to suggest keeping an eye on those levels.

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I am. Because Eureka Springs. Yeah. Radio frequency

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picks up different things. And Eureka Springs

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seems to be one of the most haunted places in

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the country. It is. It's a lot of levels. I've

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already got a haunted story, dude. I've already

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got one that I'll go into in a little bit. And

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it's a good one. It isn't kind of just like looking

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for something. It's pretty damn good. Yeah, I'm

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just going to have to clean it up here in a little

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bit, I guess, because it looks like it's running

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a little hot. But the problem is... can't get

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my microphone to work because it needs an interface

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and I thought that might be the case but I thought

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I might be able to get around some things but

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no I can't I need the interface to get the mic

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to pick up what I'm doing on the program so that

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I plugged in my headphones and nothing so I can't

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really tell what it really sounds like so anyhow

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you know what we're doing this anyway okay good

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good then I think we're okay I played it back

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a little bit ago before I called you, and it

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sounded like it was okay. So, okay. You know,

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on the way down here to Eureka Springs, we stopped

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by Springfield, Missouri. We went to visit Val's

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childhood friend, Rhonda. You know, every, and

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I found out something. You know, we went to lunch,

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and every time I book a place, I get a jacuzzi

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tub for my bubble baths, right? I told you about

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that, right? Yeah, I love my bubble bath. You're

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spoiled. Do you love bubble baths or not in a

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jacuzzi, Rob? Oh, my God. Yes. The bubbles get

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so big. Oh, yes, yes, yeah. That hot air. Yeah.

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Oh, yeah. So I do that daily. Every time I've

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been here, I've already done a bubble bath. So,

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anyhow, I take one daily, like I said. Val brought

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something up and how I found out about it. I

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completely forgot about this. So, my Google and

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Amazon accounts, they're all hooked up to the

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main TV in the living room. The TV screensaver

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goes to my shared pictures on my phone and phones

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from the past. Yeah, it's cool. So, like, I did

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this a long time ago because all the vacation

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photos that I take, I eventually break my phone

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like I had a segment on a while back about how

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I break phones all the time. and I'd lose all

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the pictures, so I have them backed up on a cloud,

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and on the Amazon, on my Amazon Fire Stick, I

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have it backed up on there to where it's a screensaver,

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and we get to see all these pics, Alaska, all

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this cool shit that we got to do, right? So,

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I didn't know this, right? Okay, so, for a little

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while, I knew that, but I'm going to go into

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something else. So, for a little bit, Val's phone

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was loading on the TV, too. right and i didn't

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know that something happened it got mixed up

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or hit a wrong button or something so not only

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was my pictures but her pictures was uh loaded

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too so we're sitting there watching tv and um

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i forgot i had to like go do something and so

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did she come back and the screensaver flipped

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on and it's me in a bubble bath and i'm like

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hey wait a minute wait who How the fuck did that

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get on there? She started laughing. She goes,

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every time you take a bubble bath, I take secret

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pictures and videos of you. I'm like, what? She

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goes, yeah, yeah, I send it to family and friends.

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We love them. I'm like, it's bullshit. You know,

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you can't say anything. There's bubbles everywhere.

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I'm pretty much my head sticking out. You are

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the family Christmas card. Yes, I am. Rob, you

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couldn't have said that any better. I'm the family

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Christmas card. I'm going to wear a hat next

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time. I'm going to wear a Santa hat. And so,

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anyhow, she started talking to Rhonda. And I'm

00:11:14.860 --> 00:11:16.879
like, oh, shit, I forgot all about that. That's

00:11:16.879 --> 00:11:19.039
right, man. You've been secretly recording me.

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So I had no idea. And I found this out like a

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year ago. I mean, she's been doing this for years

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now. And I had no fucking idea, Rob. You know,

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I'm sitting there, you know, taking my bubble

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bath and having a good time. And I had no idea

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I was getting recorded. So then, you know, a

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lot of times I have a couple of pops, right?

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And I'm going to go take my bubble bath. Oh,

00:11:41.080 --> 00:11:43.460
yeah. Yeah, of course. You know, that's what

00:11:43.460 --> 00:11:47.039
you do. So, you know, I'm a little smashed there.

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You know, I'm a little tainted. You know, I'm

00:11:48.899 --> 00:11:52.519
a little... So, anyhow, like I am right now,

00:11:52.519 --> 00:11:58.360
a little bit, just a tinge. So, I get into the

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bubble bath, and whenever I'm smashed, I start

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screaming. I call my toenails talions. I call

00:12:05.840 --> 00:12:09.360
them my beautiful talions, okay? And I demand...

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You've done that for years. Yes, yes. You have.

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I remember that. Yeah, I call them my beautiful

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talions. They are comparable to a bald eagle's

00:12:19.289 --> 00:12:22.629
talions. That's how beautiful they are. And whenever

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I get a little smash and I get in the bubble

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bath, I demand that my talions be trimmed immediately

00:12:26.909 --> 00:12:30.429
while I'm in my bubble bath. And I keep screaming

00:12:30.429 --> 00:12:35.620
this, and I keep doing it over and over. So I

00:12:35.620 --> 00:12:37.980
look out the cottage window that we're at. Okay,

00:12:38.039 --> 00:12:39.820
these cottages that we stay at. Now we're at

00:12:39.820 --> 00:12:42.419
Flatiron Flats. I couldn't get the first couple

00:12:42.419 --> 00:12:45.220
of days we're here because this was booked. So

00:12:45.220 --> 00:12:48.200
we went to these cottages over on a cliff, which

00:12:48.200 --> 00:12:51.039
is very cool. And no regrets about that at all.

00:12:51.059 --> 00:12:52.960
It's a place called Cliff Cottage Inn. It's a

00:12:52.960 --> 00:12:55.460
very nice place. And they bring you breakfast.

00:12:55.600 --> 00:12:58.539
It's a bed and breakfast stuff. And anyhow, I'm

00:12:58.539 --> 00:13:01.120
screaming to heaven. I'm demanding my beautiful,

00:13:01.259 --> 00:13:04.580
beautiful Italians be clipped. and uh and smoothed

00:13:04.580 --> 00:13:07.659
out and i'm doing this over and over wench come

00:13:07.659 --> 00:13:15.039
here come here trim my talions now now and i

00:13:15.039 --> 00:13:17.220
just happened to look out the window and there's

00:13:17.220 --> 00:13:20.740
a couple of people staring at our at our cottage

00:13:20.740 --> 00:13:24.690
they heard it and they're like Could you imagine

00:13:24.690 --> 00:13:26.610
that, hearing that? You know, they're sitting

00:13:26.610 --> 00:13:28.830
there, you know, yeah, and I think tomorrow we're

00:13:28.830 --> 00:13:30.490
going to go down to Beaver Lake and rent a canoe.

00:13:30.629 --> 00:13:33.309
And all of a sudden, it's like, wench, come here

00:13:33.309 --> 00:13:36.649
and trip my talions, my beautiful talions. And

00:13:36.649 --> 00:13:38.330
they're probably like, what the fuck is going

00:13:38.330 --> 00:13:41.529
on over there? So I did it louder, of course,

00:13:41.549 --> 00:13:44.769
right? And I did it longer. That's what you do,

00:13:44.850 --> 00:13:46.710
right? If someone, like, is noticing. Oh, of

00:13:46.710 --> 00:13:48.590
course. Yeah, yeah. So I'm like, all right, that's

00:13:48.590 --> 00:13:52.029
cool. All right, someone noticed. So anyhow.

00:13:54.270 --> 00:13:58.090
So, we were, the lighting out here is horrible.

00:13:58.230 --> 00:14:00.629
I have stuff jotted down, so where would we please?

00:14:02.070 --> 00:14:06.110
So, anyhow, I did my Italian bit, smashed, and,

00:14:06.149 --> 00:14:08.490
you know, and I'm probably going to do it tomorrow,

00:14:08.649 --> 00:14:10.610
too, in the morning, or tonight. Well, I won't

00:14:10.610 --> 00:14:12.370
be smashing in the morning. Tomorrow's get -back

00:14:12.370 --> 00:14:14.990
day, so I'll probably do it at some time tonight

00:14:14.990 --> 00:14:16.649
while she's sleeping. I'll probably wake her

00:14:16.649 --> 00:14:19.049
up screaming to have my, demanding to have my

00:14:19.049 --> 00:14:22.220
beautiful, beautiful Italians clipped. while

00:14:22.220 --> 00:14:25.559
I'm in the bubble bath. You're not going to make

00:14:25.559 --> 00:14:27.960
it home, are you? Probably not. Probably not.

00:14:28.059 --> 00:14:32.080
So this is probably my last podcast. I will leave

00:14:32.080 --> 00:14:34.919
all of this stuff to you with instructions in

00:14:34.919 --> 00:14:37.940
my will, okay? Thank you. Yeah, you're welcome.

00:14:38.220 --> 00:14:40.620
So you can find some... I will carry on our legacy.

00:14:40.840 --> 00:14:42.820
Yeah, you can find an idiot anywhere to do this

00:14:42.820 --> 00:14:45.519
shit, right? You say, hey, you want to call me

00:14:45.519 --> 00:14:47.460
up and just talk a bunch of shit while I record

00:14:47.460 --> 00:14:53.860
it? Sure. I don't know, I don't want Oh, okay.

00:14:54.899 --> 00:14:56.799
I get it. Yeah, you know what? You're right.

00:14:59.679 --> 00:15:01.879
We're coming down here and when we left Kansas

00:15:01.879 --> 00:15:04.139
City, it was pouring fucking rain in the morning.

00:15:04.299 --> 00:15:06.659
So we had to wait a little bit and leave a little

00:15:06.659 --> 00:15:08.639
bit later. I'm glad we did because they were

00:15:08.639 --> 00:15:11.440
having like 60, 70 mile an hour winds in Cass

00:15:11.440 --> 00:15:14.480
County and Bates County. And as you know, there's

00:15:14.480 --> 00:15:16.740
no way, unless you go way to the east and take

00:15:16.740 --> 00:15:19.379
like three hours longer, you have to go through

00:15:19.379 --> 00:15:22.259
those counties to get down here. Right? From

00:15:22.259 --> 00:15:25.580
Kansas City, right? Yeah. Yeah, so we had to

00:15:25.580 --> 00:15:28.580
wait. So we waited a couple of hours and it cleared

00:15:28.580 --> 00:15:31.960
out. So we come down here and it all busted apart.

00:15:32.179 --> 00:15:34.440
Some of it went out towards Kansas. Some of it

00:15:34.440 --> 00:15:37.539
just dissipated and we're like, wow, cool. It

00:15:37.539 --> 00:15:39.720
just kind of like it dissipated down here for

00:15:39.720 --> 00:15:42.100
some reason. So we got to go all the way there.

00:15:42.200 --> 00:15:45.080
And then we, when we hit the Arkansas state line,

00:15:45.200 --> 00:15:47.980
it starts building up again. And you can see

00:15:47.980 --> 00:15:50.120
it's getting ready to like just pour and lightning

00:15:50.120 --> 00:15:53.080
and wind its ass off. So we're getting down here

00:15:53.080 --> 00:15:56.350
and, um, we're about four miles away it starts

00:15:56.350 --> 00:15:58.529
to pour and these you know how these hills are

00:15:58.529 --> 00:16:02.049
right they're just insane yeah so i don't want

00:16:02.049 --> 00:16:04.850
to be anywhere i guarantee water's running everywhere

00:16:04.850 --> 00:16:07.370
yeah oh yeah yeah the whole place was flooded

00:16:07.370 --> 00:16:10.009
for about yeah until it you know for about an

00:16:10.009 --> 00:16:11.990
hour and then it all went downstream somewhere

00:16:11.990 --> 00:16:16.370
but it was pouring rain but anyhow i was like

00:16:16.370 --> 00:16:19.730
oh man it's going to take an hour to get there

00:16:19.730 --> 00:16:22.980
now because you can't negotiate these hills um

00:16:22.980 --> 00:16:26.159
with any type of speed at all whenever it's raining

00:16:26.159 --> 00:16:29.019
that hard you have to go slow in a lot of places

00:16:29.019 --> 00:16:31.200
i don't know if arkansas just doesn't have the

00:16:31.200 --> 00:16:33.759
capital or what but they don't have guard rails

00:16:33.759 --> 00:16:37.200
where they should and if you go down that i mean

00:16:37.200 --> 00:16:39.559
you're going down for a long long time and you're

00:16:39.559 --> 00:16:42.379
not surviving you know so you have to be really

00:16:42.379 --> 00:16:45.899
careful and you have to go slow and we get here

00:16:46.740 --> 00:16:48.779
and all this lightning and everything everywhere

00:16:48.779 --> 00:16:51.960
and so we're grabbing all our stuff and to get

00:16:51.960 --> 00:16:53.740
to the cottage you got to go through a series

00:16:53.740 --> 00:16:56.659
of these little nature trail things right we

00:16:56.659 --> 00:16:59.820
just get on the porch and all of a sudden it

00:16:59.820 --> 00:17:02.899
just unloads just pouring bucket loads and lightning

00:17:02.899 --> 00:17:05.700
and wind everywhere we lucked out so bad we didn't

00:17:05.700 --> 00:17:09.000
get it on the way on the way down and then it

00:17:09.000 --> 00:17:11.480
did not start doing that crazy stuff and it rained

00:17:11.480 --> 00:17:13.779
the rest of the night which wasn't a problem

00:17:13.779 --> 00:17:15.400
because we weren't going anywhere we were tired

00:17:15.400 --> 00:17:17.579
you know we went to springfield spent some time

00:17:17.579 --> 00:17:19.819
with a friend and then came down here you know

00:17:19.819 --> 00:17:22.920
we're too tired to do anything but we really

00:17:22.920 --> 00:17:24.960
lucked out on that i mean the timing could not

00:17:24.960 --> 00:17:26.980
have been more perfect rob it was just kind of

00:17:26.980 --> 00:17:32.779
like wow that worked out well so yeah so uh that

00:17:32.779 --> 00:17:38.630
was pretty cool um Let me see here. I'm going

00:17:38.630 --> 00:17:40.730
to attempt to get some emails here in a little

00:17:40.730 --> 00:17:46.049
bit because I have internet here. And right now

00:17:46.049 --> 00:17:50.210
it's working. So I have some there. I don't know

00:17:50.210 --> 00:17:52.329
what they say. I haven't edited them or anything.

00:17:52.549 --> 00:17:55.029
So if they're stupid, I'm going to apologize

00:17:55.029 --> 00:17:58.109
or I'll try to read them. That's going to be

00:17:58.109 --> 00:18:01.549
interesting. Yeah. Yeah, it's good. Especially

00:18:01.549 --> 00:18:05.460
Mitch at the left. Oh, yeah, yeah. You know what?

00:18:05.799 --> 00:18:08.519
I'll have... You know what? I'm just going to

00:18:08.519 --> 00:18:10.099
go in... We'll find out. Yeah, I'm going to go

00:18:10.099 --> 00:18:12.019
in dry. I'm not even going to try to take a peek

00:18:12.019 --> 00:18:16.359
at them right now. Yeah. No, don't. Okay. So,

00:18:16.440 --> 00:18:19.380
we went to America's Most Haunted Hotel, the

00:18:19.380 --> 00:18:23.000
Crescent Hotel again. Yes. And we were there

00:18:23.000 --> 00:18:26.559
last night hanging around and... you know it's

00:18:26.559 --> 00:18:28.000
a cool place to hang around they got a lot of

00:18:28.000 --> 00:18:29.960
stuff to do around there in the yards and stuff

00:18:29.960 --> 00:18:32.160
today we went to the pool up there for a while

00:18:32.160 --> 00:18:34.779
and it's just they just have grounds that are

00:18:34.779 --> 00:18:37.940
just immaculate and so we went up there and we're

00:18:37.940 --> 00:18:40.140
just sitting around we went up to the pizza parlor

00:18:40.140 --> 00:18:42.440
and had some drinks so we come down and they

00:18:42.440 --> 00:18:46.039
have this huge living room like situation there

00:18:46.039 --> 00:18:50.589
with this old old fireplace in the middle and

00:18:50.589 --> 00:18:52.609
it's just beautiful and you can just sit there

00:18:52.609 --> 00:18:55.210
and relax the couches are real comfortable everything

00:18:55.210 --> 00:18:59.630
is old Victorian or even before I mean it's just

00:18:59.630 --> 00:19:02.730
it's just really elegant and it's beautiful so

00:19:02.730 --> 00:19:05.829
Val and I were in the main lobby and we're sitting

00:19:05.829 --> 00:19:08.390
on the couches and the chairs around the huge

00:19:08.390 --> 00:19:13.369
fireplace right and Val notices the very sturdy

00:19:13.369 --> 00:19:19.250
handcrafted coffee table from Maybe the 1800s.

00:19:19.670 --> 00:19:22.990
Maybe the early 1900s. I mean, it appeared to

00:19:22.990 --> 00:19:26.650
be mahogany. The detail was amazing. We were

00:19:26.650 --> 00:19:29.289
just marveling over it. This piece of art is

00:19:29.289 --> 00:19:32.670
extremely heavy. You know how they made them

00:19:32.670 --> 00:19:35.470
back then. It was by hand. And they used real

00:19:35.470 --> 00:19:40.369
wood. Real mahogany wood. Real sturdy good wood.

00:19:40.450 --> 00:19:43.170
Because they had it back then. Now it's kind

00:19:43.170 --> 00:19:46.980
of hard to get stuff like that. So... we're marveling

00:19:46.980 --> 00:19:51.019
over this um over this coffee table just you

00:19:51.019 --> 00:19:53.519
know soaking in the beautiful evening you know

00:19:53.519 --> 00:19:57.559
lounging around and um after we're like uh oopling

00:19:57.559 --> 00:20:00.099
over this old coffee table with all this detail

00:20:00.099 --> 00:20:03.599
and how how it was handcrafted and all that so

00:20:03.599 --> 00:20:08.099
i look down and there's this large book a large

00:20:08.099 --> 00:20:11.700
leather bound book on it it wasn't there just

00:20:11.700 --> 00:20:15.539
a few minutes ago These ghosts are extremely

00:20:15.539 --> 00:20:17.900
mischievous there, and I'm not kidding you. I

00:20:17.900 --> 00:20:19.740
mean ask anyone that's ever stayed there They

00:20:19.740 --> 00:20:24.160
like to play jokes on you That big is a huge

00:20:24.160 --> 00:20:27.660
leather -bound book, okay? And we're like Leo

00:20:27.660 --> 00:20:29.740
looking at coffee table touching it and everything

00:20:29.740 --> 00:20:32.640
go man. That is really cool Look at that handcrafted

00:20:32.640 --> 00:20:34.839
more Oakland over it You know and you would it

00:20:34.839 --> 00:20:37.339
too Rob is just a beautiful piece of furniture

00:20:37.339 --> 00:20:41.079
made back in yesteryear I mean it was really

00:20:41.079 --> 00:20:45.519
cool, so We're talking for a little bit, and

00:20:45.519 --> 00:20:47.759
we're looking at the house cat there. The house

00:20:47.759 --> 00:20:49.740
cat was really pissed off last night. They have

00:20:49.740 --> 00:20:52.980
a cat that, like, he'll usually come up to you

00:20:52.980 --> 00:20:54.539
if you bother him a little bit, and he'll let

00:20:54.539 --> 00:20:56.200
you pet him for a couple minutes. Then he'll

00:20:56.200 --> 00:20:57.900
get mad and go, all right, that's enough, human.

00:20:57.960 --> 00:21:01.680
I'm leaving. And he'll leave. Well, he was irritated

00:21:01.680 --> 00:21:03.440
last night. I don't know if a bunch of little

00:21:03.440 --> 00:21:05.420
fucking kids were chasing him around or whatever.

00:21:05.740 --> 00:21:07.720
So we're trying to get the cat to come over to

00:21:07.720 --> 00:21:11.259
us, and he's giving us a solid no. So finally

00:21:11.259 --> 00:21:13.339
we give up, and I look back around the coffee

00:21:13.339 --> 00:21:16.079
table, and there's this large leather -bound

00:21:16.079 --> 00:21:19.839
book. I'm like, Val, did anyone ever come over

00:21:19.839 --> 00:21:27.180
here? No, why? I go, look. Yeah? That book. Yeah?

00:21:27.259 --> 00:21:29.480
Yeah. We just got done looking at this coffee

00:21:29.480 --> 00:21:31.920
table, right? There wasn't anything on there,

00:21:31.960 --> 00:21:34.980
was there? No. How the fuck did it get here?

00:21:36.079 --> 00:21:41.259
Uh, don't know. So, no one was near us. We were

00:21:41.259 --> 00:21:43.640
distracted temporarily by looking at the cat

00:21:43.640 --> 00:21:45.220
and trying to get the house cat to come over.

00:21:45.440 --> 00:21:48.259
We turn around. I look back at the coffee table

00:21:48.259 --> 00:21:50.579
when we figured out the cat wasn't going to have

00:21:50.579 --> 00:21:55.059
anything to do with us. And it's on the coffee

00:21:55.059 --> 00:21:58.119
table. A huge leather -bound book. I'm like,

00:21:58.180 --> 00:22:01.119
what the hell? So I open up this book. And this

00:22:01.119 --> 00:22:04.799
book is a book of people that have photographic

00:22:04.799 --> 00:22:10.000
evidence of apparitions and orbs. And they put

00:22:10.000 --> 00:22:13.140
all of these old... Orbs? Yes. They put them

00:22:13.140 --> 00:22:16.759
all in a book. And they share that book. People,

00:22:16.880 --> 00:22:18.759
you know, it's around different places there.

00:22:19.039 --> 00:22:21.960
And it had the most interesting apparitions and

00:22:21.960 --> 00:22:25.839
orbs. and different photos that are haunted photos

00:22:25.839 --> 00:22:27.960
that they have. I never knew this book existed,

00:22:28.140 --> 00:22:32.740
let alone it appearing on the coffee table that

00:22:32.740 --> 00:22:35.400
we just got done running our hands across and

00:22:35.400 --> 00:22:38.500
looking at the detail and everything, and it

00:22:38.500 --> 00:22:42.940
wasn't there, and no one came near us. Stuff

00:22:42.940 --> 00:22:45.160
like that happens all the time at the Crescent.

00:22:46.000 --> 00:22:51.359
I'm telling you, the princess is into that type

00:22:51.359 --> 00:22:56.200
of stuff. And actually, so am I. You know, so

00:22:56.200 --> 00:22:59.700
I've already been talking to her about making

00:22:59.700 --> 00:23:02.200
a trip down there. You need to. I want to take

00:23:02.200 --> 00:23:05.779
her to the Crescent. She would love it. Oh, yeah.

00:23:05.900 --> 00:23:08.940
I already know. I've already been there. I already

00:23:08.940 --> 00:23:12.940
know. Yeah, yes. I'll tell you what. You have

00:23:12.940 --> 00:23:15.420
to get a room there and experience overnight.

00:23:16.380 --> 00:23:21.799
Yes, definitely. A lady that we met. Her name's

00:23:21.799 --> 00:23:28.210
Princess. Awesome. Okay, and the lady that we

00:23:28.210 --> 00:23:31.089
met there out on the porch, she's a paranormal

00:23:31.089 --> 00:23:34.630
expert, or so she said she was. She said it's

00:23:34.630 --> 00:23:37.630
essential when you leave to tell the spirits

00:23:37.630 --> 00:23:43.009
to stay there and not come with you. So take

00:23:43.009 --> 00:23:45.710
that for whatever it is. I did it. Oh, no, no,

00:23:45.849 --> 00:23:48.619
no. I already know. I already know nothing about

00:23:48.619 --> 00:23:51.720
it. Okay, okay. Yeah, she said, make sure and

00:23:51.720 --> 00:23:53.960
tell them to stay there. That's their place,

00:23:54.079 --> 00:23:58.880
not to come with you. So I did it. So, interesting.

00:23:59.240 --> 00:24:01.160
So then something else interesting happened,

00:24:01.339 --> 00:24:03.700
Rob. You know the guy that I torture up here?

00:24:03.839 --> 00:24:07.160
You know, the guy that does a ghost tour? Yeah.

00:24:07.279 --> 00:24:09.400
He has his cute little outfit on and the cute

00:24:09.400 --> 00:24:12.269
little hat and all that stuff. He was in there

00:24:12.269 --> 00:24:15.069
because the tour ends at the Crescent. It starts

00:24:15.069 --> 00:24:17.349
at the Basin Park, goes all the way up the hill,

00:24:17.470 --> 00:24:19.509
goes up around the corner, all the way to the

00:24:19.509 --> 00:24:21.630
top, and ends at the Crescent. It's a haunted

00:24:21.630 --> 00:24:25.849
hotel tour. He looks me right in the face. And

00:24:25.849 --> 00:24:29.369
I look him right in the face. And he looked funny,

00:24:29.430 --> 00:24:32.130
like maybe he recognized me, but I don't think

00:24:32.130 --> 00:24:34.049
he realized I'm the mouthy fucker that yells

00:24:34.049 --> 00:24:36.630
boo at him all the time and interrupted his ghost

00:24:36.630 --> 00:24:41.000
tour. He's the guy that wants to kill me. He

00:24:41.000 --> 00:24:43.940
gives me the dirtiest looks because he's sitting

00:24:43.940 --> 00:24:45.460
there talking about these ghosts, and every time

00:24:45.460 --> 00:24:47.279
he says something about a ghost, I'm up here

00:24:47.279 --> 00:24:51.519
having a pop, yelling, boom! And people are down

00:24:51.519 --> 00:24:54.039
there fucking laughing, giggling, and shit, and

00:24:54.039 --> 00:24:56.799
it makes him feel like an asshole because he's

00:24:56.799 --> 00:24:59.400
trying to do a serious job there, trying to scare

00:24:59.400 --> 00:25:01.539
them, and I'm up here going, boom! And they're

00:25:01.539 --> 00:25:05.839
all giggling and shit and being distracted. But

00:25:05.839 --> 00:25:08.220
I don't think he recognized me. I think he thought,

00:25:08.240 --> 00:25:10.400
man, I think I know that guy from somewhere.

00:25:10.960 --> 00:25:18.980
Shut up, asshole. So I think he recognized me,

00:25:19.019 --> 00:25:21.339
but didn't know where it was from. Because I

00:25:21.339 --> 00:25:22.980
really think he would have came over and punched

00:25:22.980 --> 00:25:27.559
me in the face. He was so mad at me. Yeah. Can

00:25:27.559 --> 00:25:30.460
we take our first break? Yes, yes we can. Hang

00:25:30.460 --> 00:25:33.599
on. I got a hard time. I have this set up here

00:25:33.599 --> 00:25:36.660
on the balcony and it's hard to... Never mind.

00:25:36.880 --> 00:25:41.119
Never mind. Oh, okay. Okay, you sure? I had a

00:25:41.119 --> 00:25:44.000
call coming in. I really need to take this. It's

00:25:44.000 --> 00:25:46.539
all right. Here, I can, I can, I can... No, no,

00:25:46.559 --> 00:25:49.119
no, I'm good. We're good. If I'm calling back,

00:25:49.279 --> 00:25:52.460
you can answer. Okay, well, sorry about that.

00:25:52.500 --> 00:25:54.259
I didn't mean to answer one of those. I don't

00:25:54.259 --> 00:26:06.319
know. Oh, okay. Okay. Um, yeah, you're right.

00:26:06.480 --> 00:26:12.279
Um, all right. It's my cousin. He just texted

00:26:12.279 --> 00:26:15.220
me back. We're playing boat tag. I got your message.

00:26:15.400 --> 00:26:18.539
Love you. Bye. Okay, cool. All right. Okay, good.

00:26:18.720 --> 00:26:22.819
All right, I'm done for the monologue, and it

00:26:22.819 --> 00:26:25.099
looks like I can access e -mails, so go ahead

00:26:25.099 --> 00:26:28.900
and do whatever, what story you want to do. We'll

00:26:28.900 --> 00:26:30.619
just try to keep the regular format. We'll go

00:26:30.619 --> 00:26:34.500
into e -mails after that. All right, well, since

00:26:34.500 --> 00:26:37.960
I've had people on me about making the Ozark

00:26:37.960 --> 00:26:40.299
News, I have some plans to do Ozark News. Yeah,

00:26:40.339 --> 00:26:44.990
what was her name, Tammy? Tammy from Osage Beach.

00:26:45.329 --> 00:26:49.970
Yes. I think no, Sunrise Beach. Sunrise Beach.

00:26:49.990 --> 00:26:52.710
I remember. Okay. All right. Tammy, this is for

00:26:52.710 --> 00:26:55.150
you. I wasn't going to mention it. Yeah. Okay.

00:26:55.250 --> 00:26:58.289
Well, this ain't more than a good one, but it's

00:26:58.289 --> 00:27:04.210
kind of funny, actually. Okay. A Miller County

00:27:04.210 --> 00:27:07.630
man who attempted to commit suicide by setting

00:27:07.630 --> 00:27:14.599
his house on fire is found guilty. Okay. Did

00:27:14.599 --> 00:27:19.339
you catch that? Found guilty. Like commit suicide,

00:27:19.680 --> 00:27:23.140
found guilty. Yeah, found guilty. I'm getting

00:27:23.140 --> 00:27:25.880
this, but go ahead. I'm going to need a little

00:27:25.880 --> 00:27:28.880
bit more information on this. Well, yeah, I'm

00:27:28.880 --> 00:27:30.660
going to give it to you. Welcome to Life of the

00:27:30.660 --> 00:27:35.759
Ozarks. Well, yeah. Yeah, no kidding. Darren

00:27:35.759 --> 00:27:41.339
Manry of Eldon. If you know, you know. Yes, I

00:27:41.339 --> 00:27:45.829
do. I know. Was found guilty of first -degree

00:27:45.829 --> 00:27:49.430
arson during a bench trial on Tuesday. He'll

00:27:49.430 --> 00:27:53.849
be sentenced November 13th. It was in March of

00:27:53.849 --> 00:27:58.450
2004 when the Eldon Fire Department was called

00:27:58.450 --> 00:28:03.569
a man -raised house in the 500 block of West

00:28:03.569 --> 00:28:08.009
Court Street. When crews arrived, fire was showing

00:28:08.009 --> 00:28:11.589
from the front and the side of the home. heavy

00:28:11.589 --> 00:28:16.269
smoke throughout. Man Ring escaped the home and

00:28:16.269 --> 00:28:20.369
was transported to a local hospital for unspecified

00:28:20.369 --> 00:28:24.269
injuries. The home was at total loss. Oh, wow.

00:28:26.130 --> 00:28:30.150
During questioning, Man Ring told the police

00:28:30.150 --> 00:28:33.869
that he was upset with his daughter over a vehicle

00:28:33.869 --> 00:28:37.150
title and decided to kill himself by setting

00:28:37.150 --> 00:28:45.319
the house on fire. Man Ring smoke. Go ahead,

00:28:45.420 --> 00:28:51.380
I'm sorry. No, that's all of that new story.

00:28:51.460 --> 00:28:53.619
That's all there needs to be of that new story.

00:28:53.759 --> 00:29:00.299
Oh my gosh. Eldon, right? Yes, Eldon. Like I

00:29:00.299 --> 00:29:03.420
said, if you know, you know. I do know. I've

00:29:03.420 --> 00:29:06.160
been around Missouri a long time. I do know.

00:29:10.119 --> 00:29:15.779
Couldn't handle the smoke. Awesome, Rob. Thank

00:29:15.779 --> 00:29:18.960
you. So he ran out, and now he's setting his

00:29:18.960 --> 00:29:23.460
ass in Miller County Jail. Coughing up black

00:29:23.460 --> 00:29:30.019
loogies, right? Probably more than that. Yeah,

00:29:30.779 --> 00:29:33.920
probably. Coughing up some other stuff, too.

00:29:34.019 --> 00:29:38.019
But, you know, we'll leave that to everyone's

00:29:38.019 --> 00:29:41.079
imagination, right? Yes. Oh, we got a little

00:29:41.079 --> 00:29:42.940
crowd looking at us up here. I didn't know they

00:29:42.940 --> 00:29:46.039
could see us that way. Oh, right on. Yeah. Two

00:29:46.039 --> 00:29:50.559
douchebags and microphone. Howdy, howdy. This

00:29:50.559 --> 00:29:53.119
is Rob. He's calling from Lake of the Ozarks,

00:29:53.119 --> 00:29:59.559
a beautiful Niangua arm. Yes. Yeah, they went

00:29:59.559 --> 00:30:04.839
on. Okay, well, all right. You tried. I tried,

00:30:05.099 --> 00:30:09.119
yes. Alright, let's take our first break. Come

00:30:09.119 --> 00:30:11.079
back, and it appears I can get these emails.

00:30:11.359 --> 00:30:15.200
And I'm not reading them. I'm going in dry. I'm

00:30:15.200 --> 00:30:16.460
not reading any of them. I don't know what the

00:30:16.460 --> 00:30:20.119
hell they're saying. Tonight is total ad -lib.

00:30:20.720 --> 00:30:23.640
Yes, yes, pretty much. Yeah, all this stuff,

00:30:23.700 --> 00:30:25.859
I just kind of jotted down little notes when

00:30:25.859 --> 00:30:28.039
they happen. Going, yeah, this is something I

00:30:28.039 --> 00:30:29.599
probably want to talk about. Yeah, this is something

00:30:29.599 --> 00:30:32.039
I probably want to talk about. So it is totally

00:30:32.039 --> 00:30:34.240
ad -libbed. I have some suggestions. Like I said,

00:30:34.480 --> 00:30:38.029
I had about... 10 minutes before you called me

00:30:38.029 --> 00:30:39.890
to do that. Yeah, you're working so many damn

00:30:39.890 --> 00:30:43.809
hours. Geez. Well, nine plus nine and a half,

00:30:43.869 --> 00:30:47.490
you know, but still. Normally we get off at four

00:30:47.490 --> 00:30:52.009
and they switch us to five. That takes an hour

00:30:52.009 --> 00:30:55.250
out of my night. Exactly. I used to prepare for

00:30:55.250 --> 00:30:57.369
the show. Well, the reason we do it at eight

00:30:57.369 --> 00:30:59.250
and not earlier is because you get home and you

00:30:59.250 --> 00:31:01.029
have stuff you have, you have chores you have

00:31:01.029 --> 00:31:05.480
to do. Yeah, I got that. And, Like I said, on

00:31:05.480 --> 00:31:08.259
podcast night. Yeah, and also... That's me an

00:31:08.259 --> 00:31:12.279
hour short, you know, and it's rough. And we're

00:31:12.279 --> 00:31:14.619
not doing this on Tuesday night like we normally

00:31:14.619 --> 00:31:17.839
do, because Tuesday... Oh, I'd still, I'd still,

00:31:17.839 --> 00:31:22.720
I'd still been in shape. Oh, okay. All right,

00:31:22.740 --> 00:31:25.420
that's cool. Yeah. We went in Monday and was

00:31:25.420 --> 00:31:29.039
told Tuesday we'd start an overtime. Oh, okay,

00:31:29.220 --> 00:31:33.380
okay. Yep. Okay, all right, we'll... Oh, shit.

00:31:33.740 --> 00:31:37.660
What's that over there? Oh, no. It's the island

00:31:37.660 --> 00:31:45.559
of horrible jokes. A ship -turning red paint

00:31:45.559 --> 00:31:50.339
and a ship -turning blue paint collided. They

00:31:50.339 --> 00:32:06.509
were all ruined. Hello, this is Satan. You might

00:32:06.509 --> 00:32:11.450
know me from my pet name, Inflation. I'm here

00:32:11.450 --> 00:32:14.410
to tell you that there's no better way to relax

00:32:14.410 --> 00:32:18.289
than listening to two douchebags in a microphone

00:32:18.289 --> 00:32:22.630
by a nice warm fire at night. I sit there and

00:32:22.630 --> 00:32:25.650
I reflect on all the souls I burned that day.

00:32:26.630 --> 00:32:33.000
Enjoy. Your mom is so scatterbrained. It took

00:32:33.000 --> 00:32:37.579
her two hours to watch 60 minutes. Oh, hey, look

00:32:37.579 --> 00:32:40.680
at the time. It's time for the crazy -ass word

00:32:40.680 --> 00:32:47.099
of the day. And now, Deep Thoughts with Mark.

00:32:49.660 --> 00:32:53.359
How do you tell when you're out of invisible

00:32:53.359 --> 00:33:03.140
ink? I may never know. Miss Gulkenstein was tired

00:33:03.140 --> 00:33:05.680
of Mark and Toe for making sport of her. Little

00:33:05.680 --> 00:33:07.920
did the douchebags know, Miss Gulkenstein was

00:33:07.920 --> 00:33:10.220
a voodoo high priestess when she was younger.

00:33:10.779 --> 00:33:14.660
She grew angry and cast a spell on Rob, changing

00:33:14.660 --> 00:33:19.339
Rob into a capuchin monkey. Mark took Rob to

00:33:19.339 --> 00:33:21.319
a local zoo so he could be with the other monkeys.

00:33:21.680 --> 00:33:25.500
Here are the adventures of Rob, the capuchin

00:33:25.500 --> 00:33:30.819
monkey. Shh, be very quiet. We're going to listen

00:33:30.819 --> 00:33:33.579
in as Rob the Capuchin Monkey tries to sell the

00:33:33.579 --> 00:33:36.420
rest of the Capuchin Monkey's Amway. Rob has

00:33:36.420 --> 00:33:38.880
always dreamed of becoming a Diamond Status Amway

00:33:38.880 --> 00:34:03.059
as a Capuchin Monkey. Little did our hero Rob

00:34:03.059 --> 00:34:06.500
know. All the great apes owned stock in Sam's

00:34:06.500 --> 00:34:08.639
Club and became violently pissed off when he

00:34:08.639 --> 00:34:11.400
tried to infringe on their territory. They promptly

00:34:11.400 --> 00:34:13.599
grabbed switches and beat his ass for three days

00:34:13.599 --> 00:34:17.679
straight. Rob could not sit down. Hey, my fellow

00:34:17.679 --> 00:34:21.599
heavy breathers. This is Dash Riptide. Your music

00:34:21.599 --> 00:34:26.920
news. Got real quick music news for you tonight.

00:34:28.139 --> 00:34:30.699
Apparently on Ozzy Osbourne death certificate.

00:34:31.369 --> 00:34:35.210
It has, in the occupation department, rock legend.

00:34:35.949 --> 00:34:39.570
We could not agree more. This is Gash Rooktine,

00:34:39.750 --> 00:34:43.110
and that was your music news. If it's too loud,

00:34:43.190 --> 00:34:52.650
you probably have ear damage, just like me. Have

00:34:52.650 --> 00:34:54.210
you ever wondered what something came about?

00:34:54.489 --> 00:34:56.570
Have you ever looked at something and said, I

00:34:56.570 --> 00:34:59.809
wonder what the origin of that is? Well, so have

00:34:59.809 --> 00:35:05.679
we. That's why we give you the origin of. This

00:35:05.679 --> 00:35:08.000
is the origin of eyeliner. Eyeliner originated

00:35:08.000 --> 00:35:10.539
in ancient Egypt and it's been used for thousands

00:35:10.539 --> 00:35:13.019
of years across cultures. In Chad, young men

00:35:13.019 --> 00:35:16.519
from nomadic clans wore coal eyeliner to attract

00:35:16.519 --> 00:35:20.260
wives. In the Inqatali, dancers wore kajal to

00:35:20.260 --> 00:35:22.920
tell stories through their eyes. In Iran, women

00:35:22.920 --> 00:35:39.360
use eyeliner as a symbol of resistance. Two douchebags

00:35:39.360 --> 00:35:42.219
and a microphone. I'm Mark in the Mobile Talk

00:35:42.219 --> 00:35:45.679
is Cheap studio at the Flatiron Flats in Eureka

00:35:45.679 --> 00:35:53.239
Springs, Arkansas. And I am Rob at the beautiful

00:35:53.239 --> 00:35:56.360
Mangwell Arm of Lake of the Ozarks in the Duck

00:35:56.360 --> 00:36:00.980
Blind studio. All right, well, I got to access

00:36:00.980 --> 00:36:03.619
emails. It appears like they all came through.

00:36:04.119 --> 00:36:05.860
There's a couple of throwaways because they're

00:36:05.860 --> 00:36:09.699
just kind of stupid. There's no reason to go.

00:36:09.760 --> 00:36:11.699
But most of them look pretty good, look pretty

00:36:11.699 --> 00:36:14.039
solid, and we have some of the regulars. All

00:36:14.039 --> 00:36:17.500
right, the first one. Hey, guys. I ate some bagged

00:36:17.500 --> 00:36:19.840
shrimp from Walmart, and I grew five penises

00:36:19.840 --> 00:36:22.820
on my forehead. I don't know what to do. Afraid

00:36:22.820 --> 00:36:26.280
in Pittsburgh. Okay. In case anyone didn't know,

00:36:26.360 --> 00:36:29.619
there's radioactive shrimp. How does Pittsburgh

00:36:29.619 --> 00:36:36.539
spell? Oh. Pennsylvania, not Kansas. Okay, okay.

00:36:36.920 --> 00:36:39.099
Oh, thank you. Thank you. I didn't even think

00:36:39.099 --> 00:36:42.739
about that. No, it spilled Pennsylvania, so it

00:36:42.739 --> 00:36:45.760
in from Pittsburgh, Kansas. Walmart was selling,

00:36:45.840 --> 00:36:48.739
apparently, radioactive shrimp somehow. It got

00:36:48.739 --> 00:36:51.900
radioactive, and it's a big recall. So that's

00:36:51.900 --> 00:36:54.559
what this guy's talking about. So he says he

00:36:54.559 --> 00:36:58.519
had bagged shrimp from Walmart, and he grew five

00:36:58.519 --> 00:37:00.679
penises on his forehead, and he doesn't know

00:37:00.679 --> 00:37:06.900
what to do. And he signed... Yeah, I know...

00:37:06.900 --> 00:37:17.000
This is true. I got a slightly different... I

00:37:17.000 --> 00:37:19.519
think I got a slightly different take. Okay,

00:37:19.599 --> 00:37:23.539
you have extra penises? Cut them out. I know

00:37:23.539 --> 00:37:27.260
you are. I can tell. Okay, cut off the penises.

00:37:27.260 --> 00:37:29.639
Have them cut off and preserved. And I know some

00:37:29.639 --> 00:37:31.880
dudes that desperately are in need of them, of

00:37:31.880 --> 00:37:34.840
a penis, like Clint. And I'm pretty sure you

00:37:34.840 --> 00:37:41.559
could strike a deal. Yes. Yeah. Yeah, sir. Transplants.

00:37:42.119 --> 00:37:44.480
Yeah, yeah. Clint is desperately in need of a

00:37:44.480 --> 00:37:46.679
penis. Yeah, black market transplants. Hell,

00:37:46.679 --> 00:37:49.659
there you go, dude. Yeah, Freight in Pittsburgh.

00:37:49.800 --> 00:37:52.320
There you go. You'll be rich. Make money. You'll

00:37:52.320 --> 00:37:54.880
be rich, man. Yeah. Make money off these experts.

00:37:55.219 --> 00:37:57.190
Hell, I might even buy one. Hell yeah, I'd do

00:37:57.190 --> 00:37:58.969
one just to put in the Talk is Cheap studio.

00:37:59.130 --> 00:38:02.369
I'll have it stuffed. Hell yeah. What's that

00:38:02.369 --> 00:38:05.550
over there? That's a stuffed penis. Huh? Yeah,

00:38:05.650 --> 00:38:10.789
yeah. Okay. So... Okay, I'll let you go with

00:38:10.789 --> 00:38:13.710
that one. Okay, yeah. You know what? You gotta

00:38:13.710 --> 00:38:16.769
fill this shit with something, right? They're

00:38:16.769 --> 00:38:19.050
not all gems, right? They're not all gems. Yeah,

00:38:19.050 --> 00:38:23.429
yeah. We gotta save each other from time to time

00:38:23.429 --> 00:38:30.480
in your state of need right now. That's fine.

00:38:31.480 --> 00:38:38.860
Oh, here's a... There's actually some pretty

00:38:38.860 --> 00:38:41.019
good... So far, there's some pretty good emails

00:38:41.019 --> 00:38:44.360
that I've read here. Okay. Mark, I tried your

00:38:44.360 --> 00:38:48.780
pineapple cake recipe. It was gross. I'm beginning

00:38:48.780 --> 00:38:51.739
to think you made that shit up. Winnie in Miami.

00:38:53.079 --> 00:39:00.030
Really? When I stuttered and said uh and um and

00:39:00.030 --> 00:39:02.989
uh and um a hundred times, you didn't catch that

00:39:02.989 --> 00:39:06.050
I was making that shit up, right? Was she the

00:39:06.050 --> 00:39:09.469
one that asked for the recipe? Oh, was she? Was

00:39:09.469 --> 00:39:13.769
somebody important? I think it was. Okay, probably.

00:39:13.949 --> 00:39:16.190
I'm reading these right off of here. I didn't

00:39:16.190 --> 00:39:22.110
catch it. I think you're right. I think she actually

00:39:22.110 --> 00:39:28.860
tried your recipe. I may be wrong. 30 of them.

00:39:29.320 --> 00:39:31.719
She's probably mad. She wasted a lot of money.

00:39:32.300 --> 00:39:35.360
I stand by my recipe, and Rob, it's Rob's recipe,

00:39:35.380 --> 00:39:38.400
too. We stand by it firmly. That is a great recipe.

00:39:38.800 --> 00:39:43.059
And we are actually really kind of insulted that

00:39:43.059 --> 00:39:45.119
you thought we made that up, and we're insulted

00:39:45.119 --> 00:39:48.099
that you thought that we would do something,

00:39:48.159 --> 00:39:50.239
we would go against something so sacred as a

00:39:50.239 --> 00:39:53.960
pineapple cake, right? Yeah, it must be a Missouri

00:39:53.960 --> 00:39:56.929
fact. I guess so, I guess so. Miami probably

00:39:56.929 --> 00:39:58.789
just doesn't like it. They have different, you

00:39:58.789 --> 00:40:01.409
know, yeah, they like seafood down there. We

00:40:01.409 --> 00:40:04.869
like good old -fashioned pineapple cake, right?

00:40:06.010 --> 00:40:14.130
Yeah, yeah. Okay, Rob, I brought 30 Sharpie markers

00:40:14.130 --> 00:40:17.630
for your condom signing at the Barnes & Noble

00:40:17.630 --> 00:40:22.329
at Lake Freeman Hall, located just behind the

00:40:22.329 --> 00:40:26.150
Massey Creek Bend. Be there on time this Saturday

00:40:26.150 --> 00:40:30.710
at 10 a .m. Mitch, acting manager of Norcan distribution

00:40:30.710 --> 00:40:37.690
of South Central, Cass County, and Hill. He's

00:40:37.690 --> 00:40:44.050
pretty busy. He's pretty busy. I told you, Clint

00:40:44.050 --> 00:40:53.190
is your bitch. I told you. Mitch... I don't know

00:40:53.190 --> 00:40:57.449
what to say. I really don't. Mitch, you're doing

00:40:57.449 --> 00:41:01.849
fine work. Keep up the fine work. Mitch, I love

00:41:01.849 --> 00:41:06.070
you, man. Mitch, I love you. We're going to find

00:41:06.070 --> 00:41:08.969
out who he is. We know him. We have to know him.

00:41:08.989 --> 00:41:19.900
He knows too much. Oh, fucking cool. Okay. There's

00:41:19.900 --> 00:41:22.719
someone at the Basin Park Hotel because right

00:41:22.719 --> 00:41:25.639
here on this balcony, I look over and you can

00:41:25.639 --> 00:41:28.699
see right in someone's window of their room.

00:41:29.639 --> 00:41:32.760
And they poked their head out and I'm sitting

00:41:32.760 --> 00:41:36.599
there. Yeah, it's funny. It's funny. They freak

00:41:36.599 --> 00:41:38.599
out because they don't expect someone to be right

00:41:38.599 --> 00:41:41.000
here. You know, they think it's just an office

00:41:41.000 --> 00:41:42.920
building or something. They don't know it's actually

00:41:42.920 --> 00:41:47.179
a place that you can rent. Okay. And it's funny.

00:41:47.340 --> 00:41:49.519
The dude just poked his head out. He's like,

00:41:49.579 --> 00:41:52.320
huh? And he snuck back in and shut all the blinds.

00:41:54.920 --> 00:42:00.260
Herb. Herb, yep. Our name would be two dudes

00:42:00.260 --> 00:42:03.639
in a bag. Yeah, it would have been like two dudes

00:42:03.639 --> 00:42:06.280
in a microphone talking about safe things. I

00:42:06.280 --> 00:42:10.900
don't know. Yeah. Okay, and finally I got one

00:42:10.900 --> 00:42:14.559
more here. There was a couple of them I threw

00:42:14.559 --> 00:42:17.199
away because they were just stupid. Okay, Mark.

00:42:17.559 --> 00:42:21.619
I found Cherry RC Real Sugar in a bottle. This

00:42:21.619 --> 00:42:24.599
is as good as the Dr. Pepper original I had in

00:42:24.599 --> 00:42:28.360
Waco, Dr. Pepper Museum. Ronnie in Tulsa, the

00:42:28.360 --> 00:42:33.019
Tulsa King. Let me know where it's at. Let me

00:42:33.019 --> 00:42:34.980
know where you found it. I want some. Can I order

00:42:34.980 --> 00:42:37.980
it online? You can just message me if you want

00:42:37.980 --> 00:42:39.820
to. You don't have to send me an email explaining

00:42:39.820 --> 00:42:42.000
it on here or anything if you don't want to.

00:42:43.649 --> 00:42:49.570
um but huh interesting real sugar cherry rc i

00:42:49.570 --> 00:42:54.949
bet that it's good i didn't know they made it

00:42:54.949 --> 00:42:57.030
i've never seen that anywhere and i you know

00:42:57.030 --> 00:42:59.250
i'm kind of into that type of thing too that's

00:42:59.250 --> 00:43:01.050
kind of like a niche thing you're into it or

00:43:01.050 --> 00:43:03.289
you're not i've been into it for quite a while

00:43:03.289 --> 00:43:05.869
and i've never been i never knew that they even

00:43:05.869 --> 00:43:08.070
had that maybe it's new i don't know or maybe

00:43:08.070 --> 00:43:11.369
i just haven't ever seen it but um ronnie let

00:43:11.369 --> 00:43:14.880
me know please All right. Just mention it. It

00:43:14.880 --> 00:43:17.840
got my textbook going. Yep. And then the two

00:43:17.840 --> 00:43:21.900
emails that I speak about came from the old address

00:43:21.900 --> 00:43:25.559
and was forwarded here. They're in a whole different

00:43:25.559 --> 00:43:27.840
envelope, and I don't know what's going on with

00:43:27.840 --> 00:43:31.300
that. But you know what? I'll figure that out

00:43:31.300 --> 00:43:34.619
later. That's just weird. I thought the other

00:43:34.619 --> 00:43:36.579
one was shut down, actually, but I guess not.

00:43:37.260 --> 00:43:45.190
This is twodouchesatmail .com. at yahoo .com

00:43:45.190 --> 00:43:49.070
and if forwarded these two emails and they may

00:43:49.070 --> 00:43:50.889
have been from a long time ago but anyhow they

00:43:50.889 --> 00:43:54.269
sucked so who cares alright Rob let's turn it

00:43:54.269 --> 00:43:58.469
to you ok well I'm going to go into one more

00:43:58.469 --> 00:44:01.809
like deal chart story before I move on to other

00:44:01.809 --> 00:44:06.809
things later you're on a roll actually this is

00:44:06.809 --> 00:44:12.409
a good one this is a good one ok uh And actually,

00:44:12.469 --> 00:44:16.309
I've mentioned this. I've talked about this before.

00:44:16.670 --> 00:44:20.849
Okay. The first shovels of dirt were symbolically

00:44:20.849 --> 00:44:25.130
turned today, Tuesday. Today's Thursday. Okay.

00:44:25.230 --> 00:44:29.630
To officially start physical construction of

00:44:29.630 --> 00:44:34.010
what will be a new community center in Camden.

00:44:34.349 --> 00:44:38.840
Oh, cool. Remember me talking about that? Yes,

00:44:39.340 --> 00:44:47.179
I certainly do. Okay. It's just a testament of

00:44:47.179 --> 00:44:53.280
what's going on. Invest in families and invest

00:44:53.280 --> 00:44:57.159
in things that unite communities rather than

00:44:57.159 --> 00:45:00.880
divide them. And I hope that Campton leads the

00:45:00.880 --> 00:45:04.920
way here and other communities in Camden County.

00:45:05.530 --> 00:45:09.650
and surrounding counties continue with this sort

00:45:09.650 --> 00:45:13.550
of efforts, says State Representative Jeff Morente,

00:45:13.829 --> 00:45:19.230
on hand for the groundbreaking ceremony. The

00:45:19.230 --> 00:45:24.630
future 4 .1 million community center will be

00:45:24.630 --> 00:45:28.710
located on City Park Road next to the Canton

00:45:28.710 --> 00:45:32.090
Aquatic Center. Rob, keep going. I'll be right

00:45:32.090 --> 00:45:34.659
back. Keep going. Keep talking on this story,

00:45:34.760 --> 00:45:38.280
okay? I'll be right back. Well, the thing is...

00:45:38.280 --> 00:45:46.000
Yeah? I walk out of the bunker. Uh -huh. I walk

00:45:46.000 --> 00:45:50.679
out my front door. I look to the right. It's

00:45:50.679 --> 00:45:56.599
right there. Oh. Which is right where? Do you

00:45:56.599 --> 00:45:58.960
remember the fugitive that ran from the cops

00:45:58.960 --> 00:46:03.440
that caught right here? Yes. Yeah. Right there.

00:46:04.059 --> 00:46:08.960
Oh, wow. Same spot. Interesting. Interesting.

00:46:09.820 --> 00:46:13.320
Okay. All right. Do you want to take our second

00:46:13.320 --> 00:46:15.119
break? Because I've got to go do something here

00:46:15.119 --> 00:46:17.880
really quick. Yeah, take your second break. Okay.

00:46:17.920 --> 00:46:20.559
All right. I'll be right back. Or we'll be right

00:46:20.559 --> 00:46:37.449
back. So you want proof that we love you here

00:46:37.449 --> 00:46:40.369
at QD Spades and Microfilm Central? Here's a

00:46:40.369 --> 00:46:42.429
proof right here. How about the drink of the

00:46:42.429 --> 00:46:46.829
week? Hey, my party pilgrims. How about Norwegian's

00:46:46.829 --> 00:46:50.550
famous pineapple coconut mojito? One and a quarter

00:46:50.550 --> 00:46:52.949
ounce Bacardi coconut rum, one ounce pineapple

00:46:52.949 --> 00:46:56.289
puree, three pieces of lime wedges, six pieces

00:46:56.289 --> 00:46:58.429
of mint leaves, and one half ounce of simple

00:46:58.429 --> 00:47:02.070
syrup. You garnish ginger candy on a pick, orange

00:47:02.070 --> 00:47:06.010
wilt, and a mint sprig. Take a 12 -ounce glass,

00:47:06.269 --> 00:47:09.989
shake all ingredients together, and strain over

00:47:09.989 --> 00:47:13.389
fresh ice and top with soda. How about a splash

00:47:13.389 --> 00:47:15.809
of 7 -Up Sprite or ginger ale just for a little

00:47:15.809 --> 00:47:20.170
extra pizzazz? Harambe used to listen to our

00:47:20.170 --> 00:47:22.710
original show, Two Dipshits and Cheek Radio Shack

00:47:22.710 --> 00:47:25.769
Realistic Tape Recorder. Harambe does not listen

00:47:25.769 --> 00:47:28.309
to our original show, Two Dipshits and Cheek

00:47:28.309 --> 00:47:30.710
Radio Shack Realistic Tape Recorder anymore.

00:47:31.599 --> 00:47:34.320
You might ask why Harambe never listens to our

00:47:34.320 --> 00:47:36.340
original show, Two Gypsies and a Cheap Radio

00:47:36.340 --> 00:47:39.780
Shack Realistic Tape Recorder. Well, it's because

00:47:39.780 --> 00:47:42.440
Harambe is dead. Senselessly murdered because

00:47:42.440 --> 00:47:44.960
some idiot did not watch her child properly while

00:47:44.960 --> 00:47:47.760
looking on her phone. Sadly, Harambe does not

00:47:47.760 --> 00:47:49.820
listen to our original show, Two Gypsies and

00:47:49.820 --> 00:47:51.880
the Cheap Radio Shack Realistic Tape Recorder,

00:47:51.900 --> 00:47:56.460
or any other show. Anymore. Sorry, Harambe. Sir.

00:47:56.989 --> 00:47:59.670
I see your qualifications here. May I ask some

00:47:59.670 --> 00:48:01.429
further questions that could help me determine

00:48:01.429 --> 00:48:04.829
your employment eligibility? Yes, sir. I'm ready.

00:48:05.250 --> 00:48:07.889
Well, as you can see here, we have a large population

00:48:07.889 --> 00:48:10.510
of different ethnic backgrounds, sexuality, and

00:48:10.510 --> 00:48:15.289
ages. Are you by chance bilingual? Well, sir,

00:48:15.389 --> 00:48:17.849
I'm not sure why you need that kind of information,

00:48:17.849 --> 00:48:20.989
but, well, it was only one time in summer camp.

00:48:21.289 --> 00:48:28.710
I considered it experimental. Hey there, fuckstick.

00:48:29.269 --> 00:48:31.510
You're just in time for brand new feature news

00:48:31.510 --> 00:48:35.210
nobody gives a shit about. In Tulipo, Mississippi,

00:48:35.570 --> 00:48:39.050
a structural steel company built a small bridge

00:48:39.050 --> 00:48:41.750
to go over a pothole that had been on the road

00:48:41.750 --> 00:48:47.929
for three years. Hey, if you're a fan of paying

00:48:47.929 --> 00:48:50.170
way too much for trinkets and food, well, your

00:48:50.170 --> 00:48:52.690
wish is coming true. Kansas City International

00:48:52.690 --> 00:48:55.289
Airport Guest Pass program is starting today.

00:48:55.949 --> 00:48:58.929
Yes, you too could overspend on workless trinkets

00:48:58.929 --> 00:49:02.389
and $15 cups of coffee. You want to buy a $50

00:49:02.389 --> 00:49:05.170
cheap t -shirt that has KC Western Auto Building

00:49:05.170 --> 00:49:08.530
image on it? We got you covered. Want a barbecue

00:49:08.530 --> 00:49:11.489
sauce gift pack? No problem. Just a mere $40

00:49:11.489 --> 00:49:14.269
and you're first born. Hurry. You know rubes

00:49:14.269 --> 00:49:16.429
are jumping all over to get to this complete

00:49:16.429 --> 00:49:21.469
ripoff. Because people are cheap. Hey, good kid.

00:49:21.610 --> 00:49:23.750
No one gives an ounce of shit what you had for

00:49:23.750 --> 00:49:26.159
breakfast. Not even the person on the other end.

00:49:26.300 --> 00:49:29.039
You look like a mentally slow driv yelling into

00:49:29.039 --> 00:49:31.659
thin air all through the store. I pray that Bluetooth

00:49:31.659 --> 00:49:34.500
shorts you out and blows up your eardrums. What

00:49:34.500 --> 00:49:37.559
men consider self -centered dunce. Monty constantly

00:49:37.559 --> 00:49:40.199
coddled this dummy and it fucking shows. Go the

00:49:40.199 --> 00:49:42.619
fuck home and bore your dog. Wait, you probably

00:49:42.619 --> 00:49:44.679
forgot the theming because you're too busy looking

00:49:44.679 --> 00:49:47.960
in the mirror all day. Fuck off. Christopher,

00:49:48.280 --> 00:49:50.380
you know our, uh... elaborate prank section,

00:49:50.659 --> 00:49:53.019
right? Mm -hmm. Okay, well, I've got one for

00:49:53.019 --> 00:49:54.940
you. I never told you about Babble Snatch, have

00:49:54.940 --> 00:49:58.860
I? Uh, no. Okay, even if I did, just say I didn't

00:49:58.860 --> 00:50:01.320
know. You know, there's nothing about Babble

00:50:01.320 --> 00:50:02.940
Snatch. Yeah, I would think I would remember

00:50:02.940 --> 00:50:06.260
a name like Babble Snatch. Okay. Well, Babble

00:50:06.260 --> 00:50:08.860
Snatch, this is back in the 80s, probably mid

00:50:08.860 --> 00:50:12.360
-80s, best guess. Could have been 87 at the latest,

00:50:12.440 --> 00:50:15.829
but anyhow. Yeah, I used to go to the 7 -Eleven

00:50:15.829 --> 00:50:17.869
in Belvedere, which isn't there now. It was knocked

00:50:17.869 --> 00:50:20.789
down and then replaced way later by a quick trip.

00:50:21.230 --> 00:50:24.210
But anyhow, I used to go in there all the time

00:50:24.210 --> 00:50:26.150
and, you know, go in there and buy sodas and

00:50:26.150 --> 00:50:29.730
shit and whatever, you know, rolling papers for

00:50:29.730 --> 00:50:33.070
my friends, not for me. And anyhow, you know,

00:50:33.110 --> 00:50:36.949
just shit like that. Anyhow, there's this guy

00:50:36.949 --> 00:50:39.929
in there. I don't know. I think he hated long

00:50:39.929 --> 00:50:42.809
hairs or something. I noticed he was nice to

00:50:42.809 --> 00:50:46.550
everybody but me. I'd be third in line. Anyhow,

00:50:46.550 --> 00:50:49.010
the first guy, hey, Mr. Jones, how you doing?

00:50:49.750 --> 00:50:52.489
Oh, man, yeah, nice weather. Hey, how's the kid?

00:50:53.309 --> 00:50:56.610
Next person, hi, Loretta, how you doing? Oh,

00:50:56.610 --> 00:50:58.670
man, yeah, yeah, yeah. Everything's going good,

00:50:58.809 --> 00:51:01.349
man. I got the old Taurus running really good.

00:51:01.550 --> 00:51:04.329
Yeah, yeah, come by, man. The old Taurus. Yeah,

00:51:04.349 --> 00:51:09.440
you know. I come up there, 142. So, how you doing,

00:51:09.500 --> 00:51:14.539
Paul? 142. Okay, here you go. And I'm like, what

00:51:14.539 --> 00:51:17.059
the hell? How come this guy hates me? And every

00:51:17.059 --> 00:51:19.000
time I go in there, nice as pie to everybody,

00:51:19.079 --> 00:51:21.400
but me, it's like, just like, it ought to be

00:51:21.400 --> 00:51:26.099
249. So, weather's pretty nice out there. Thanks,

00:51:26.199 --> 00:51:29.849
bye. I'm like, that motherfucker. So he did this

00:51:29.849 --> 00:51:32.289
so many times, and he just never talked to me.

00:51:32.349 --> 00:51:34.170
He wouldn't even, like, hardly look at me, you

00:51:34.170 --> 00:51:36.550
know. And I never did nothing to this fucker

00:51:36.550 --> 00:51:38.750
that I know of. You know, maybe someone said

00:51:38.750 --> 00:51:40.690
something, like this guy said, you know, that

00:51:40.690 --> 00:51:43.989
you're a dick, or maybe someone's screwing with

00:51:43.989 --> 00:51:45.449
him, like, hey, man, you think she's got a nice

00:51:45.449 --> 00:51:48.429
ass? Who knows? Whatever the fucking deal was,

00:51:48.510 --> 00:51:50.849
the guy was just a complete tool bag to me constantly.

00:51:50.989 --> 00:51:53.489
So I was like, all right, bitch. So I go home,

00:51:53.510 --> 00:51:56.420
and I think about it. I'm like, okay. So I start

00:51:56.420 --> 00:51:59.559
calling up, and I go, hey, you got any Babble

00:51:59.559 --> 00:52:03.539
Snatch gum? What? Babble Snatch. Oh, man, everybody,

00:52:03.780 --> 00:52:06.039
I mean, I bought it from there a couple weeks

00:52:06.039 --> 00:52:09.440
ago. Stuff is fucking awesome, man. I'll tell

00:52:09.440 --> 00:52:10.860
you what, man, you know, talk to your manager

00:52:10.860 --> 00:52:13.460
about it. Is this like a breath freshening gum?

00:52:13.800 --> 00:52:17.340
I don't, you know. Maybe a bubble gum? I just

00:52:17.340 --> 00:52:20.579
came up with it. And anyhow, the guy, he bit

00:52:20.579 --> 00:52:23.320
on it, you know. He was like, oh, yeah, I'll

00:52:23.320 --> 00:52:25.679
check on it for you. That's awesome. Hey, thanks,

00:52:25.780 --> 00:52:27.800
man. I appreciate it. So anyhow, so I called

00:52:27.800 --> 00:52:29.900
back a little bit later. Yeah, someone called

00:52:29.900 --> 00:52:33.159
earlier, you know. And anyhow, I'm sure we have

00:52:33.159 --> 00:52:35.059
it here somewhere. But, you know, I'll talk to

00:52:35.059 --> 00:52:36.800
my manager about it tonight, and we'll see what

00:52:36.800 --> 00:52:39.179
we can do. So anyhow, I have a couple other people

00:52:39.179 --> 00:52:41.380
call it about Babble Snatch gum. And, you know,

00:52:41.400 --> 00:52:43.099
and they're like, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know,

00:52:43.179 --> 00:52:45.579
we're working on getting it in. Okay. You know,

00:52:45.579 --> 00:52:48.420
the regional manager, we called him and he said

00:52:48.420 --> 00:52:50.079
that he was going to work on getting it in here.

00:52:50.500 --> 00:52:53.280
And I go, well, you know, I bought it the other

00:52:53.280 --> 00:52:56.059
day and it's just so good. And they believe me.

00:52:56.079 --> 00:52:58.079
I go, man, this gum is just so great tasting.

00:52:58.400 --> 00:53:00.460
And he's like, it's Babble Snatch, right? Yeah,

00:53:00.480 --> 00:53:02.760
Babble Snatch. That's the name of it. Okay. All

00:53:02.760 --> 00:53:04.659
right. I would have loved to listen in on the

00:53:04.659 --> 00:53:07.340
conversation when he's asking the regional manager

00:53:07.340 --> 00:53:10.500
about Babble Snatch gum. Oh, yeah. you know,

00:53:10.539 --> 00:53:13.659
anyhow, I called down there the next day and

00:53:13.659 --> 00:53:15.260
I go, Hey man, you know, you got that babble

00:53:15.260 --> 00:53:17.059
snatch gum. You know, the guy's like, Oh, hang

00:53:17.059 --> 00:53:19.039
on, hang on. I think it's in, we just had a load.

00:53:19.079 --> 00:53:21.440
Hang on. So anyhow, so the guy's like, you know,

00:53:21.539 --> 00:53:24.000
and this is the guy I hated, the Paul guy. So

00:53:24.000 --> 00:53:26.519
anyhow, he's like, yeah, hang on a second. So

00:53:26.519 --> 00:53:28.460
I hear him like, yeah, Hey, I'm going to go to

00:53:28.460 --> 00:53:30.360
the back there. And it's in one of the boxes.

00:53:30.420 --> 00:53:32.659
I said it was coming in today. So, all right,

00:53:32.679 --> 00:53:35.159
no big deal. So I hear him go back. I hear some

00:53:35.159 --> 00:53:37.119
rustling and a couple of people come in and then

00:53:37.119 --> 00:53:40.079
he stops. He goes up there. Oh yeah. be 1242

00:53:40.079 --> 00:53:42.500
okay thank you have a good day and then he helps

00:53:42.500 --> 00:53:44.980
someone else i hear him go back again i hear

00:53:44.980 --> 00:53:47.300
him wrestling through some more boxes meanwhile

00:53:47.300 --> 00:53:51.039
i'm laughing my ass off anyhow this guy he like

00:53:51.039 --> 00:53:53.480
for like 20 minutes is looking for babble snatch

00:53:53.480 --> 00:53:59.840
gum so anyhow so like finally like a half hour

00:53:59.840 --> 00:54:01.699
later he comes back he goes man he goes look

00:54:01.699 --> 00:54:03.860
i know we're gonna have it in by the end of the

00:54:03.860 --> 00:54:07.179
day i talked to my manager okay all right man

00:54:07.179 --> 00:54:08.829
all right i'll come in at night and I'll get

00:54:08.829 --> 00:54:12.030
some gum, man. Save some for me, man, okay? My

00:54:12.030 --> 00:54:14.909
name's Billy. I'll be in. Okay, okay, all right.

00:54:14.969 --> 00:54:16.889
I'll save you some Babel Snatch gum. No problem.

00:54:17.530 --> 00:54:19.929
So a couple hours later, I call up and I talk

00:54:19.929 --> 00:54:21.889
to the manager. The manager's like, yeah, yeah,

00:54:21.909 --> 00:54:23.869
I ordered some a couple days ago and it should

00:54:23.869 --> 00:54:25.730
be in. If it's not in right now, it's going to

00:54:25.730 --> 00:54:27.409
be in by the end of the day. I guarantee you.

00:54:27.769 --> 00:54:29.730
So I don't know how the hell they ordered it

00:54:29.730 --> 00:54:32.110
because there was no such thing as Babel Snatch

00:54:32.110 --> 00:54:35.030
gum. I made the shut up and all of a sudden,

00:54:35.070 --> 00:54:37.090
I mean, everybody wanted this fucking Babel Snatch

00:54:37.090 --> 00:54:40.489
gum. And it never did exist. Matter of fact,

00:54:40.489 --> 00:54:43.380
this prank. got so good to where i ended up this

00:54:43.380 --> 00:54:46.000
is you know in the 80s before digital cameras

00:54:46.000 --> 00:54:48.719
even let alone you know there are phone cameras

00:54:48.719 --> 00:54:51.579
and all the you know photoshop and everything

00:54:51.579 --> 00:54:54.739
no internet no we had to like cut stuff out of

00:54:54.739 --> 00:54:57.420
wrappers and stuff and make a fake babble snatch

00:54:57.420 --> 00:55:01.920
gum and take an old fashion fashion like Polaroid

00:55:01.920 --> 00:55:03.780
type of picture. I forgot what it was. It could

00:55:03.780 --> 00:55:05.719
have been one of those little box cameras back

00:55:05.719 --> 00:55:07.400
then. Probably the only thing I could afford,

00:55:07.619 --> 00:55:10.159
you know. Hey, we actually took a picture of

00:55:10.159 --> 00:55:13.340
the Babble Snatch gum. And a guy went in there.

00:55:13.360 --> 00:55:14.920
He goes, hey, man, I need this. The guy's like,

00:55:15.019 --> 00:55:16.880
I know, I know, I know, man. We're working on

00:55:16.880 --> 00:55:18.599
getting it in. It's hard to get, man. Everybody

00:55:18.599 --> 00:55:22.059
wants this Babble Snatch gum. So anyhow, I guess

00:55:22.059 --> 00:55:24.239
the whole moral of the story is don't be a dick

00:55:24.239 --> 00:55:26.059
to me because then I'll do something like that.

00:55:26.199 --> 00:55:28.800
And even now, to this day, I'll have a couple

00:55:28.800 --> 00:55:30.440
people on my friends list every now and then.

00:55:30.670 --> 00:55:32.869
Like send me a little message. It'll go babble

00:55:32.869 --> 00:55:35.929
snatch. I'm like, ah, ha, ha. I remember one

00:55:35.929 --> 00:55:39.809
time I was like working up in fucking New York

00:55:39.809 --> 00:55:41.989
or something. And all of a sudden I get a ding.

00:55:42.230 --> 00:55:44.710
And like I'm on top of this fucking skyscraper

00:55:44.710 --> 00:55:47.050
they were putting in glass. And I look down and

00:55:47.050 --> 00:55:52.650
it says babble snatch. And I'm like, fuck. I'm

00:55:52.650 --> 00:55:54.670
up there dying in this glass about ready to fall

00:55:54.670 --> 00:55:59.260
and kill 100 people. They recover your body and

00:55:59.260 --> 00:56:01.320
they look at your phone. Well, the last text

00:56:01.320 --> 00:56:03.440
you received said Babble Snatch. We better look

00:56:03.440 --> 00:56:12.400
into this. By some guy named Dirtbag. Yeah. So

00:56:12.400 --> 00:56:15.539
anyhow, that is my elaborate prank section of

00:56:15.539 --> 00:56:17.840
this. Unless we throw some more in there, but

00:56:17.840 --> 00:56:21.820
anyhow. Babble Snatch. Never forget it. This

00:56:21.820 --> 00:56:25.369
name lives on. Next time you take a dump, listen

00:56:25.369 --> 00:56:28.269
to two douchebags and a microphone. It's been

00:56:28.269 --> 00:56:30.730
proven in laboratory rats to relax your anal

00:56:30.730 --> 00:56:44.630
canal. Get in cover. I'm here at the Talk is

00:56:44.630 --> 00:56:47.769
Cheap studio, but it is a mobile one located

00:56:47.769 --> 00:56:50.510
in Eureka Springs at the Flatiron Flats balcony.

00:56:50.829 --> 00:56:54.420
My name is Mark. And I don't know what else to

00:56:54.420 --> 00:57:06.539
say except... Hey, I got a question, Rob. Can

00:57:06.539 --> 00:57:09.219
you hear the music in the background? Oh, okay.

00:57:09.500 --> 00:57:13.260
Can you hear the music in the background? There's

00:57:13.260 --> 00:57:18.820
a car around here playing loud music. Okay. Oh,

00:57:18.820 --> 00:57:20.820
okay. Well, that's cool. Well, I have the other

00:57:20.820 --> 00:57:22.619
side shut down. I was just wondering if it went

00:57:22.619 --> 00:57:25.199
through. It's good music. It didn't matter, so...

00:57:25.199 --> 00:57:28.659
All right, Rob, you got a story you want to go

00:57:28.659 --> 00:57:30.280
into, and then I'm going to go into some new

00:57:30.280 --> 00:57:32.800
words that were accepted by the Cambridge Dictionary.

00:57:34.420 --> 00:57:39.639
Okay, well, I'm going to go from... How's that?

00:57:40.000 --> 00:57:46.320
Okay, that sounds good. Unidentified flying object

00:57:46.320 --> 00:57:49.559
reportedly crashed into a cornfield and exploded

00:57:49.559 --> 00:57:53.900
in the eastern Poland village of Osnie early

00:57:53.900 --> 00:57:58.380
Wednesday, August 20th morning. Polish news agency

00:57:58.380 --> 00:58:03.300
PAP reported via the Associated Press. The incident

00:58:03.300 --> 00:58:07.460
took place at around 2 a .m. local time. Local

00:58:07.460 --> 00:58:10.619
authorities found burned metal and plastic debris

00:58:10.619 --> 00:58:14.530
at the scene. as well as windows broken in nearby

00:58:14.530 --> 00:58:18.250
houses, though no injuries were reported, according

00:58:18.250 --> 00:58:23.929
to the AP. No violations in Polish airspace from

00:58:23.929 --> 00:58:29.969
the neighboring countries of Ukraine nor Belarus

00:58:29.969 --> 00:58:34.210
were recorded prior to the incident, according

00:58:34.210 --> 00:58:38.909
to Poland's Armed Forces Operational Command.

00:58:43.519 --> 00:59:20.670
Cool. prosecutor that was sad we have a lot of

00:59:20.670 --> 00:59:24.369
manpower we have the army to help us I hope that

00:59:24.369 --> 00:59:28.469
we will be able to finish the operation by the

00:59:28.469 --> 00:59:36.610
evening wow several intrusions into Polish airspace

00:59:36.610 --> 00:59:40.670
have been reported since Russia launched its

00:59:40.670 --> 00:59:53.539
invasion on Ukraine how close it is to the ongoing

00:59:53.539 --> 00:59:58.099
war. This don't sound like nothing from that

00:59:58.099 --> 01:00:08.320
war. Wow. It doesn't to you? In what now? It's

01:00:08.320 --> 01:00:16.000
a... They went on to... Somebody went on to try

01:00:16.000 --> 01:00:21.690
to explain it as the Russian -Ukraine war. Oh,

01:00:21.690 --> 01:00:24.369
okay, I get what you're saying. Okay, it wasn't.

01:00:24.369 --> 01:00:27.090
This does not sound like anything like that.

01:00:27.449 --> 01:00:31.110
No, no. I think they're trying to justify what

01:00:31.110 --> 01:00:34.670
it was, and they were completely wrong, it sounds

01:00:34.670 --> 01:00:38.449
like. Well, they don't know yet. It's still an

01:00:38.449 --> 01:00:43.190
utter investigation. But, you know, at this point

01:00:43.190 --> 01:00:47.980
it's still a UFO. Yeah, yeah, I mean and a UFO

01:00:47.980 --> 01:00:50.559
doesn't mean it's an alien. It means it's unidentified.

01:00:50.619 --> 01:00:57.559
That's all it means right, right? neat story

01:00:57.559 --> 01:01:06.800
Okay, so will will you do a follow -up on that

01:01:06.800 --> 01:01:10.090
if they come up with some more information? Yes,

01:01:10.090 --> 01:01:12.230
I will definitely. Okay, good. I'm interested

01:01:12.230 --> 01:01:14.269
to see what that actually is because it doesn't

01:01:14.269 --> 01:01:15.869
sound like something out of the war. It sounds

01:01:15.869 --> 01:01:19.869
like something else, but who knows? Yeah. All

01:01:19.869 --> 01:01:23.610
right. Cambridge has some new words, over 6 ,000

01:01:23.610 --> 01:01:27.289
new words. I'm not going to go over every 6 ,000

01:01:27.289 --> 01:01:29.489
of them, right? But I'm going to have some highlights

01:01:29.489 --> 01:01:34.230
here, okay? These are some new words that are

01:01:34.230 --> 01:01:37.110
kind of like quotes. that they decided to go

01:01:37.110 --> 01:01:40.090
ahead and docker -nate into this dictionary because

01:01:40.090 --> 01:01:43.250
they're so popular. And this isn't Webster. This

01:01:43.250 --> 01:01:45.630
is Cambridge Dictionary. They do different stuff.

01:01:45.789 --> 01:01:48.769
Webster comes up with new words, too, according

01:01:48.769 --> 01:01:51.010
to their popularity. But Cambridge is more of

01:01:51.010 --> 01:01:55.670
a, what would you say, hip, maybe, Rob? Yeah.

01:01:55.809 --> 01:01:59.309
Yeah, hip, youngster, Gen Z type of a dictionary,

01:01:59.469 --> 01:02:05.469
maybe. So, all right. Trade wife. is the first

01:02:05.469 --> 01:02:12.389
one. It stands for traditional wife. So, like,

01:02:12.590 --> 01:02:15.730
if you have a wife that's at home making, you

01:02:15.730 --> 01:02:18.550
know, making the house and watching the kids

01:02:18.550 --> 01:02:20.889
and taking them to soccer practice and all that,

01:02:21.010 --> 01:02:23.789
that's what they consider a traditional wife,

01:02:23.929 --> 01:02:28.429
and they would use the name trade wife to explain

01:02:28.429 --> 01:02:31.079
her. It's like, oh, hey, uh... Hey, what about

01:02:31.079 --> 01:02:32.920
Paul over there? Who's he married to? Oh, yeah,

01:02:33.059 --> 01:02:37.880
she's a complete trade wife. So, you know, you

01:02:37.880 --> 01:02:43.159
can see where they got that at. So, Luke is the

01:02:43.159 --> 01:02:49.719
next one. It's a playful twist on the word lewd,

01:02:49.780 --> 01:02:58.059
which is meaning a distinctive style of... of

01:02:58.059 --> 01:03:03.880
outfit or lack of outfit or it can also mean

01:03:03.880 --> 01:03:07.960
bold or eye -catching outfit luke instead of

01:03:07.960 --> 01:03:12.679
lewd and uh oh and and also instead of loud sorry

01:03:12.679 --> 01:03:16.099
this lighting out here is horrible and uh it's

01:03:16.099 --> 01:03:18.320
it's a green light that they have out here on

01:03:18.320 --> 01:03:21.360
the balcony it's really hard to read by so okay

01:03:21.360 --> 01:03:24.860
it's a combination of loud and uh and lewd it's

01:03:24.860 --> 01:03:29.929
luke And so it can mean either a risque outfit

01:03:29.929 --> 01:03:34.070
or it can also mean a loud outfit, which is like

01:03:34.070 --> 01:03:38.309
bold and, you know, eye -popping and catchy and

01:03:38.309 --> 01:03:40.750
all that. Maybe bedazzler or something. Okay,

01:03:40.769 --> 01:03:52.130
so bro -liarchy. Bro -liarchy. It's a term for

01:03:52.130 --> 01:03:56.650
the tech industry leaders. On what platforms,

01:03:57.230 --> 01:04:02.869
many of them, the new words appear on. So bro

01:04:02.869 --> 01:04:07.409
-ology is just simply explaining like these different

01:04:07.409 --> 01:04:11.650
social media platforms that they spread these

01:04:11.650 --> 01:04:14.889
new words around that someone came up with. And

01:04:14.889 --> 01:04:21.099
it's a mix of bro and oligarchy. So it's bro

01:04:21.099 --> 01:04:26.059
-a -gar -key. Anyhow, something like that. I'm

01:04:26.059 --> 01:04:29.860
sorry, I'm a couple deep. Mouse giggler is the

01:04:29.860 --> 01:04:35.519
next one that I want to go over. I know. A post

01:04:35.519 --> 01:04:39.440
-pandemic device or piece of software used to

01:04:39.440 --> 01:04:42.619
make it look and appear like you're working when

01:04:42.619 --> 01:04:47.079
you are not. You like that, a mouse giggler.

01:04:50.699 --> 01:04:53.139
So you're at home working, or supposedly working,

01:04:53.260 --> 01:04:55.219
okay? And they have a way to kind of keep track

01:04:55.219 --> 01:04:57.179
of you on the internet? Well, you have some sort

01:04:57.179 --> 01:04:59.139
of software that makes it look like you're working

01:04:59.139 --> 01:05:02.219
away, you're online working away, right? That

01:05:02.219 --> 01:05:05.860
is called a mouse giggler. So, hey, Jimmy, we

01:05:05.860 --> 01:05:08.840
have what? What are you doing? Oh, I'm mouse

01:05:08.840 --> 01:05:11.059
giggling. Oh, ha ha, good, you're getting paid

01:05:11.059 --> 01:05:13.460
for it. Yeah, sure am. That's kind of like how

01:05:13.460 --> 01:05:18.960
that would be used. Fatal is a word that describes...

01:05:19.909 --> 01:05:25.449
something that is really bad, but also a fable.

01:05:26.269 --> 01:05:29.510
So it's like a horrible fable that's, you know,

01:05:29.510 --> 01:05:32.929
something that's not true. So, and it doesn't

01:05:32.929 --> 01:05:34.610
really have a meaning on that one. I think you

01:05:34.610 --> 01:05:37.090
can use that in a different one. The next one

01:05:37.090 --> 01:05:42.929
is trasidoning. No, no, no, trasnodding. Okay.

01:05:45.309 --> 01:05:49.150
Can you guess what this is about, Rob? Trasnoddy.

01:05:50.269 --> 01:05:53.050
It was used for deep slumber with help from a

01:05:53.050 --> 01:05:58.070
sleep aid like Trazodone. Right. I knew you kind

01:05:58.070 --> 01:06:00.409
of caught it. I knew that was coming. Yeah, yeah,

01:06:00.429 --> 01:06:04.449
I caught that one. Yep. And then without going

01:06:04.449 --> 01:06:06.190
into too many of them, I just want to get some

01:06:06.190 --> 01:06:10.599
of the highlights. A to Z look. is the next one.

01:06:10.679 --> 01:06:12.260
And I know that's more than one word, but it

01:06:12.260 --> 01:06:15.159
is in the Cambridge Dictionary now. A to Z look

01:06:15.159 --> 01:06:21.920
is where a person is trying to read a menu with

01:06:21.920 --> 01:06:25.360
small print and uses their phone as a cheat.

01:06:25.920 --> 01:06:30.519
I guess I've been doing A to Z looking for quite

01:06:30.519 --> 01:06:33.599
a while now. I do that all the time. I'll enlarge

01:06:33.599 --> 01:06:35.699
it with my phone if the menu's too small. Do

01:06:35.699 --> 01:06:40.059
you do that? Yeah. Yeah. Well, we A to Z look

01:06:40.059 --> 01:06:43.320
according to the Cambridge Dictionary. Actually,

01:06:43.679 --> 01:06:47.159
what I try to do is I try to look them up on

01:06:47.159 --> 01:06:50.360
Facebook and get their menu before I get there.

01:06:50.519 --> 01:06:52.659
Oh, I do that too. I already know what I want.

01:06:52.820 --> 01:06:55.460
Yeah, I cheat on it too. And I'll go, oh, okay.

01:06:56.000 --> 01:06:59.619
And then fucking... Pop corn chicken looks pretty

01:06:59.619 --> 01:07:02.000
good with that fucking zesty barbecue sauce there.

01:07:02.059 --> 01:07:03.579
I think I'm gonna go with that. Or those loaded

01:07:03.579 --> 01:07:05.940
nachos look fucking righteous to me. I think

01:07:05.940 --> 01:07:07.980
I'm gonna go that direction. I'd do that too.

01:07:08.900 --> 01:07:11.300
Yeah, and I've been wanting it since before I

01:07:11.300 --> 01:07:15.659
left the house. Yep, that's funny. Everybody

01:07:15.659 --> 01:07:18.000
does about the same thing, the ritual. It's like,

01:07:18.000 --> 01:07:20.420
okay, I've never been to this place before. I

01:07:20.420 --> 01:07:23.820
better look it up. And then also, if you don't

01:07:23.820 --> 01:07:25.800
like the menu, you can also maybe be like, hey,

01:07:25.860 --> 01:07:27.480
you know what, I think I'm just going to have

01:07:27.480 --> 01:07:33.219
a cold tonight. I ain't going there. All right,

01:07:33.219 --> 01:07:44.019
Rob, we turn to you. Okay. This is another one

01:07:44.019 --> 01:07:47.000
half a story, but not like the other part. Okay.

01:07:47.900 --> 01:07:53.110
And it's an off -the -wall one. Prove me this,

01:07:53.110 --> 01:07:58.949
Batman. What Missouri town has zero population,

01:07:59.090 --> 01:08:05.110
but has a mystery person guarding it? I have

01:08:05.110 --> 01:08:09.190
no idea why, but based on recent reports, that

01:08:09.190 --> 01:08:12.610
is what's going on in a now abandoned Missouri

01:08:12.610 --> 01:08:20.130
place. Okay. World Population Review confirmed

01:08:20.130 --> 01:08:24.520
that... There is officially a population of zero

01:08:24.520 --> 01:08:32.979
in Corning, Missouri now. Okay. This is one of

01:08:32.979 --> 01:08:37.760
the... Okay, well, that shows the picture. Farmers

01:08:37.760 --> 01:08:41.819
Publishing confirmed that Corning, Missouri was

01:08:41.819 --> 01:08:47.500
unincorporated back in 2023 with the final residents

01:08:47.500 --> 01:08:55.010
there left. Happens all the time in rural Missouri.

01:08:55.210 --> 01:08:57.930
Actually, not just Missouri, any rural area.

01:08:59.789 --> 01:09:02.909
But the story of Corning, Missouri is not done

01:09:02.909 --> 01:09:08.470
yet. Urban Explorers on Reddit said just a few

01:09:08.470 --> 01:09:13.229
weeks ago, they went to this now -absolved Missouri

01:09:13.229 --> 01:09:17.409
town to take pictures, but were chased off by

01:09:17.409 --> 01:09:21.850
a mystery person. They said, I wish we could

01:09:21.850 --> 01:09:25.239
have... more and more, but the single person

01:09:25.239 --> 01:09:29.119
who still lived in the town caught us and felt

01:09:29.119 --> 01:09:32.439
like it was his job to protect all of the abandoned

01:09:32.439 --> 01:09:36.739
property in the entire town. We never stepped

01:09:36.739 --> 01:09:39.739
foot on this property. Okay, what the hell is

01:09:39.739 --> 01:09:43.000
people not using punctuation? Shit to kill them.

01:09:43.920 --> 01:09:47.539
Remember that last podcast, all that reading,

01:09:47.560 --> 01:09:53.220
there was no commas, no grades. Sometimes, if

01:09:53.220 --> 01:09:58.859
I print something out after taking it from another...

01:09:58.859 --> 01:10:02.020
You know how you can highlight it and then take

01:10:02.020 --> 01:10:05.300
it to a blank page to just get the parts of the

01:10:05.300 --> 01:10:08.020
article you want? A lot of times it will mix

01:10:08.020 --> 01:10:10.319
up the punctuation marks, and I'm learning now.

01:10:10.739 --> 01:10:13.399
You go through there and perforate that bastard,

01:10:13.460 --> 01:10:14.840
because if not, you're going to sound pretty

01:10:14.840 --> 01:10:17.600
damn stupid. So I got what you're saying, Rob.

01:10:17.659 --> 01:10:19.640
Yeah, it sucks. It's like, what the hell? I don't

01:10:19.640 --> 01:10:22.659
know whether... This is a sentence or not. Yeah.

01:10:23.560 --> 01:10:30.720
Shit. But it rots me out of breath. You know

01:10:30.720 --> 01:10:34.739
what? This podcast is free. Stop whatever you

01:10:34.739 --> 01:10:36.920
want. Stop whatever you want. Feel free to say,

01:10:36.960 --> 01:10:39.779
fuck you, I'm not doing it. What are they going

01:10:39.779 --> 01:10:42.060
to do? Quit subscribing? Well, yeah, I guess

01:10:42.060 --> 01:10:47.000
they could. Hey, at least I can say I got every

01:10:47.000 --> 01:10:50.640
word in. Absolutely. You know what? People can

01:10:50.640 --> 01:10:52.899
figure it out after you read it all. They can

01:10:52.899 --> 01:10:56.640
add their own punctuation, right? Yep. Fair enough.

01:10:56.819 --> 01:10:59.140
There you go, guys. Add your own punctuation

01:10:59.140 --> 01:11:02.479
because Rob cares. He wants you to enjoy your

01:11:02.479 --> 01:11:05.739
story how you want to enjoy it, so he gives it

01:11:05.739 --> 01:11:08.859
to you raw. Rob is the raw story guy, right?

01:11:10.659 --> 01:11:13.159
Oh, yeah, that's raw. Yeah, it's raw. He just

01:11:13.159 --> 01:11:15.380
throws it out there with no punctuation, and

01:11:15.380 --> 01:11:18.789
you... you have to you put in your own punctuation

01:11:18.789 --> 01:11:25.050
good job rob rob doing the raw so um all right

01:11:25.050 --> 01:11:30.510
i got something a little bit different here yes

01:11:30.510 --> 01:11:37.449
um ladies come out with some new flavors lace

01:11:37.449 --> 01:11:40.689
potato chips as if southern biscuits and gravy

01:11:40.689 --> 01:11:44.779
wasn't enough Which they do have now. And they

01:11:44.779 --> 01:11:47.359
brought it back. And it's been out for a while.

01:11:47.439 --> 01:11:49.300
So hopefully they keep it. Southern biscuits

01:11:49.300 --> 01:11:53.439
and gravy is very noteworthy. It's good. It tastes

01:11:53.439 --> 01:11:57.060
good. Lay's potato chips have come out with three

01:11:57.060 --> 01:12:00.460
new tailgate flavors. This is for tailgates.

01:12:01.039 --> 01:12:04.539
From the chip experts. Hot sauce flavored chips

01:12:04.539 --> 01:12:09.539
for tailgating are new on the shelves. Or my

01:12:09.539 --> 01:12:12.829
personal favorite, without trying it. Loaded

01:12:12.829 --> 01:12:17.789
nachos. Doesn't that sound good? Oh, my God,

01:12:18.010 --> 01:12:21.050
yes. Dude, I haven't even had dinner yet. I'm

01:12:21.050 --> 01:12:23.329
going to eat dinner after we get done. Oh, sorry.

01:12:24.949 --> 01:12:29.390
No, go ahead. Go ahead. Go ahead. And the last

01:12:29.390 --> 01:12:37.109
gem is cheesy buffalo dip potato chips. Oh, man.

01:12:38.069 --> 01:12:41.779
That right there sounds to me like... As good

01:12:41.779 --> 01:12:48.500
as it gets. Uh -oh. I got a dog going nuts over

01:12:48.500 --> 01:12:53.000
here. Did you hear it? Yeah, I heard some. Okay.

01:12:53.439 --> 01:12:55.319
All right, and that's the end of those. Those

01:12:55.319 --> 01:12:59.119
are three new tailgater chips that they're coming

01:12:59.119 --> 01:13:00.739
out with. I guess they're out with now because

01:13:00.739 --> 01:13:04.199
of football season. So I suggest you look them

01:13:04.199 --> 01:13:07.039
up because, I mean, I think they're all good.

01:13:07.119 --> 01:13:09.000
I mean, Lay's usually does a pretty good job

01:13:09.000 --> 01:13:13.479
with their flavors, don't you think? Yeah, definitely.

01:13:13.659 --> 01:13:17.239
Yeah, they do. Yeah. So I would say, and their

01:13:17.239 --> 01:13:19.319
southern biscuits and gravy are really, really

01:13:19.319 --> 01:13:21.659
good. And I was like kind of skeptical. Wouldn't

01:13:21.659 --> 01:13:23.979
you be? You'd be like, I don't know. Biscuits

01:13:23.979 --> 01:13:27.119
and gravy, southern? Actually, when they came

01:13:27.119 --> 01:13:30.939
out with it the first time, I tried it. I loved

01:13:30.939 --> 01:13:34.220
them. Okay. Well, I didn't try until a little

01:13:34.220 --> 01:13:37.600
bit later just because I just wasn't around wherever

01:13:37.600 --> 01:13:40.680
they had them. And I was really surprised. Very

01:13:40.680 --> 01:13:44.439
good. Yeah, they came out with them here. I tried.

01:13:44.659 --> 01:13:47.619
I love them. Yeah, they're very good. All right,

01:13:47.619 --> 01:13:56.039
Rob, we turn to you. Okay, this one starts out.

01:13:57.220 --> 01:14:00.680
Watch as a Justin Bieber look -alike tricks a

01:14:00.680 --> 01:14:04.239
Vegas nightclub into letting him perform on stage

01:14:04.239 --> 01:14:11.020
and run up a $10 ,000 tab. Oh, I love that. There

01:14:11.020 --> 01:14:14.100
is a video. which unfortunately I could not share

01:14:14.100 --> 01:14:18.000
with you. If I have, if we were live, I could,

01:14:18.199 --> 01:14:22.340
but, uh, staff and morning goers at the five

01:14:22.340 --> 01:14:26.899
-star Wynn Las Vegas Hotel were convinced that

01:14:26.899 --> 01:14:32.739
scammer Dylan Descalas 49 was the real Canadian

01:14:32.739 --> 01:15:18.640
pop star. Cool. from a back crowd. Was he good

01:15:18.640 --> 01:15:25.239
then? Bob did that. Oh, okay. Almost everyone

01:15:25.239 --> 01:15:28.520
is recording the moment on their phones and appear

01:15:28.520 --> 01:15:33.199
totally cool. He belts out Bieber's hit, Sorry,

01:15:33.560 --> 01:15:38.119
and prances around always wearing a pair of dark

01:15:38.119 --> 01:15:44.680
glasses. The DJ is also completely oblivious,

01:15:44.739 --> 01:15:48.319
hyping up the Brainstorm from behind the decks.

01:15:48.520 --> 01:15:57.319
Oh my gosh. This is... Give him the tab for free,

01:15:57.420 --> 01:16:03.020
geez. Another clip shows it during Vance clamoring

01:16:03.020 --> 01:16:07.199
to snap a selfie with the scholars. The great

01:16:07.199 --> 01:16:12.399
security team was in tow, and the group wandered

01:16:12.399 --> 01:16:18.390
around shops and behind the bar. Impersonator

01:16:18.390 --> 01:16:21.470
got their eight -couple trashed before Statt

01:16:21.470 --> 01:16:26.149
clogged onto the roof and booed him on stage.

01:16:27.109 --> 01:16:31.770
Griffin saw the funny side of the song and documented

01:16:31.770 --> 01:16:38.810
it out and uploaded it on Instagram. Look, the

01:16:38.810 --> 01:16:42.029
guy could probably get a gig like that being

01:16:42.029 --> 01:16:51.939
a... A tribute, Justin Bieber. Yeah. You see,

01:16:52.020 --> 01:16:58.159
I think that that place, that club... Yeah, you

01:16:58.159 --> 01:17:00.760
kid. I think they mishandled it. I think they

01:17:00.760 --> 01:17:02.399
should have went with it. I think they should

01:17:02.399 --> 01:17:04.439
have just been like, you know what? Yeah, we

01:17:04.439 --> 01:17:06.159
got pulled on this, but we like this guy. Everybody

01:17:06.159 --> 01:17:08.520
likes him. Let's bring him back. I'm telling

01:17:08.520 --> 01:17:10.300
you, it sounds like he would have went over good.

01:17:12.320 --> 01:17:17.520
I'm looking at the picture, man, and yeah, he's

01:17:17.520 --> 01:17:20.659
got the glasses on. As long as he's got glasses

01:17:20.659 --> 01:17:26.479
on, Jim looks like me. That is fantastic. Hey,

01:17:26.579 --> 01:17:29.819
modern day entrepreneur. And he evidently sounded

01:17:29.819 --> 01:17:33.880
like him. He would have had to. I mean, yeah,

01:17:33.899 --> 01:17:35.779
it sounds like everybody was on board, so he

01:17:35.779 --> 01:17:37.859
had to have looked and sounded like him quite

01:17:37.859 --> 01:17:40.500
a lot. You know, it had been pretty spot on.

01:17:42.319 --> 01:17:47.220
Wow that is cool to hear I like that story all

01:17:47.220 --> 01:17:51.920
right Rob it is 907 and you want to go ahead

01:17:51.920 --> 01:17:59.720
and call this one no I don't mind because actually

01:17:59.720 --> 01:18:02.000
it's very uncomfortable out here it's a narrow

01:18:02.000 --> 01:18:06.239
balcony and it's kind of hard to do this So I

01:18:06.239 --> 01:18:08.800
think I'm going to go ahead and be with you on

01:18:08.800 --> 01:18:11.020
that and say, you know what? If we got over an

01:18:11.020 --> 01:18:13.000
hour by the time I put in all the business stuff,

01:18:13.079 --> 01:18:15.600
it'll be an hour and ten. That's fine. That's

01:18:15.600 --> 01:18:19.079
good. And you're probably fighting mosquitoes

01:18:19.079 --> 01:18:22.420
at this point. Yes, I am. Yep. That's why I had

01:18:22.420 --> 01:18:25.140
to go inside. I'll let you off the hook, brother.

01:18:25.579 --> 01:18:28.020
I'll let you off the hook. No, Rob, you actually

01:18:28.020 --> 01:18:31.140
caught it. That's why I had to go inside to get

01:18:31.140 --> 01:18:33.439
mosquito repellent. Hey, I'm from the area. I

01:18:33.439 --> 01:18:37.479
know. Yeah, you're right. After dark, you got

01:18:37.479 --> 01:18:39.779
skewers. Oh, yeah, they're all over the fucking

01:18:39.779 --> 01:18:43.560
place. But I sprayed a little Repel on me, and

01:18:43.560 --> 01:18:46.300
it kept some of them off, but I don't know. Some

01:18:46.300 --> 01:18:49.159
of them are still coming around. Anyhow... Is

01:18:49.159 --> 01:18:52.760
Santornella... Is Santornella... I think I have

01:18:52.760 --> 01:18:57.619
some. You're with you. It's in the car, but the

01:18:57.619 --> 01:18:59.359
valet takes the car because there's no place

01:18:59.359 --> 01:19:01.340
to park here. The valet takes the car somewhere

01:19:01.340 --> 01:19:04.380
else. Fuck it. I'll just go inside after this.

01:19:05.979 --> 01:19:10.619
Anyhow, hello, Albuquerque. Hi, Albuquerque.

01:19:10.619 --> 01:19:15.460
Hi, Opal. Hi, Jimmy. Anyhow, thank you guys for

01:19:15.460 --> 01:19:19.739
listening, and good night, assholes. Good night,

01:19:19.739 --> 01:19:38.699
assholes. All right. Somehow Oh No looks like

01:19:38.699 --> 01:19:41.880
this shows over kids mark has explosive diarrhea

01:19:41.880 --> 01:19:45.880
and can't afford a wireless mic Fear not assholes.

01:19:45.960 --> 01:19:48.020
They'll be back invading your ear hole soon