Hey there, slap nuts. It's time for the Creeps
Music News. Hey, my little pumpkin seeds. This
is Johnny Rohypnol with your music news. Ozzy
Osbourne, in collaboration with Liquid Death,
sold 10 empty crushed ice tea cans containing
his DNA for $450 each. The cans are part of a
promotion called Infinitely Recyclable Ozzy.
They have since sold out. The cans were sealed
in lab jars and contained a sample of Aussie
saliva. This is Johnny Rohypnol. That was your
music news. And remember, bar chords are bullshit.
Hey, this time I remembered to hit the right
button so we don't screw up and have to redo
it. Yep, yes. I'm learning. Okay. Wait. All right.
I can never get through one, eh, Mary? You always
figure out something. Running out of air. Yeah,
this time it was like... You're going to run
out of shit. I'm going to run... Yeah, yeah.
That was some weak -ass scratching, I'm sorry.
Hey, it worked. It broke me. I got it. You got
something you want to go into? I've been watching
a lot of episodes of this British car show called
Top Gear. It's pretty entertaining. If you're
a sports car enthusiast, there's a lot there
for you. But if you just like watching three
guys get into some adventures with sports cars,
that's pretty fun too. I think that would be
up my alley right there. Yeah. People dicking
around, doing things. But I started getting really
fascinated by some of the things they were talking
about. You know, they'd introduce a car like
the Chrysler 300. Remember those? Yeah. That
was a BMW under the skin. Chrysler bought a BMW
rolling chassis, put their own engine in it,
put their own body on top of it. And that goes
on all the time. There's a car that Ford sells
in Europe that is completely made in China and
sold in China. And when they bring it over here,
they take the little badge off for the Chinese
company and stick a Ford badge on it and sell
it as a Ford. Wow. Yeah. And it's just like,
this is, I never knew all this. And so then I
started looking up what car companies are owned
by other car companies. Yeah. Because they all
started changing hands. Now, this is the latest
one I've been able to find. Toyota. They, of
course, own Toyota and Lexus. And they also own
Daihatsu. Daihatsu. They make cars and they also
make heavy construction equipment. I think I
know what it is. Okay. Volkswagen. This is a
big one. They own Volkswagen and Audi and former
British luxury car Bentley. Wow. Former Italian
sports car company Bugatti. No shit. Former Italian
tractor company turned supercar company Lamborghini.
Wow. Owned by Volkswagen Porsche. owned by Volkswagen.
Wow. SEAT, owned by Skoda, which was Czechoslovakian,
I think, owned by Volkswagen. Ducati, which only
made cars and motorcycles, owned by Volkswagen.
I had no idea. Isn't that amazing? So if you,
oh, you got a Volkswagen, well, I got an Audi.
Same company. Same company. Same company. And
what's interesting about Lamborghini is they
started as a tractor company. And the owner of
Lamborghini was so wealthy that he could afford
a super sports car. So he bought a Ferrari and
said, this thing's a piece of shit. I build better
clutches than the one that's in this. And so
he decided, you know what, I'm going to start
making my own super sports car. And that's how
the Lamborghini sports cars were born. This tractor
company owner wanted an awesome car to drive,
so he built it himself. Wow. And now the Germans
own it. Okay. Wow. Here's another one. Renault,
a French company. They own... Okay, let me state
it differently. Here's a consortium of Renault
and Nissan and Mitsubishi. Okay. So French, Japanese,
and Japanese. And together, those three own Infiniti,
Renault, Nissan, Mitsubishi, Dacia, Alpine, Venusia,
Lada, and Renault -Samsung. So they're partnering
with Samsung as well, a Korean company. Wow.
So that group of three car companies owns all
those brands. Shit. Let's see. General Motors.
They own Chevrolet and Buick and GMC and Cadillac.
which we all knew about. Okay. Former associations
with Isuzu, who built all their diesel engines
for a long time. Former association with Vauxhall.
But currently, General Motors also owns the brands
Wuling, Baojun, and JFang. All three Chinese
companies. Okay. And the last one makes trucks.
Wow. So General Motors is all in with three Chinese
car companies that they've bought and are running
and making cars for Chinese people with GM technology.
Do they tell us that during their commercials
for Like a Rock? No, hell no, they don't. Like
a Rock, yeah, that's right. Like a Rock. Okay,
Hyundai. They own Hyundai and Kia. Okay. And
Hyundai has just started partnering with General
Motors too. Okay. Suzuki. I always knew it was
a motorcycle company, but they also make cars,
shitty little cars. Oh, yeah. And so they own
Suzuki and Maruti Suzuki, which I'm not sure
about. Okay. Let's see. Then my page cut off
here. So Stellantis. This is another big one.
Stellantis owns Chrysler. Dodge. Jeep. Ram. Vauxhall.
Citroen. Abarth. Maserati. What's this one? Opel.
DS Auto. Alfa Romeo. Lancia. Wow. All of those
owned by... Oh, Vauxhall. I mentioned Vauxhall.
Maserati, for a while, was owned by Ford, I think.
Yeah, they were. But now, and Stellantis was
originally formed with Italian car company Fiat
merged with French company Renault. Or, no, Citroën.
There was a lot of transactions going on. Peugeot,
that was it, Peugeot. Peugeot. Which they're
not making Peugeots anymore. Think of all the
transactions that went on that we had no idea
was happening. And that company has since moved
to the Netherlands. So if you own a Dodge or
a Ram pickup, when you buy it, all the profits
go home to the Netherlands. Wow. And it's funny
because they're always branded as real American
truck. Yeah, yeah. They always say made in America
because they're actually put together and assembled
here. They never say they're an American -owned
car company. No, they don't. Because they aren't.
And all the money goes over there to the Netherlands.
Yep. Wow. Honda owns Acura and Honda. Ford owns
Ford and Lincoln and Jianling Motors, a Chinese
company. Okay. So there's your good old American
Ford F -150, and they're over getting in bed
with the Chinese and making cars for them, too.
Oh, hell yeah. Yeah, we knew that. Yeah. Yep.
Nothing sacred. Not when it comes to pennies.
No. Daimler. Remember Daimler? Yeah. They own
Benz and Mercedes Benz. Uh -huh. And MV Agusta.
Uh -huh. And Western Star. Uh -huh. And Detroit
Diesel. Wow. And Freightliner. Freightliner?
Freightliner. Wow. What about Yugo? Do they own
Yugo? I think Yugo's out of business. Oh, damn
it. Okay. BMW owns BMW and Mini and Smart Car.
About the same thing. Or no, that was Mercedes.
Mercedes owns the Smart Car. I'm sorry. But BMW
owns Rolls Royce. Former British luxury limousine.
Wow. Yeah, it's German now. Tata Motors. Okay.
They own Tata Motors, Land Rover, and Jaguar.
What's your Jaguars made by Tatas? Wow. That's
just stupid. Yeah. Let's see. And then the last
one I have is Geely. Uh -huh. They own Volvo,
Lev C, Geely, and there's one here with wings
on it that I can't quite identify. But that's
a completely Chinese company. However, Geely
is now partnering with a lot of other companies,
and they own, in part, they own Aston Martin.
James Bond's famous sports car. James Bond rode
around the Aston Martin. It's owned by the Chinese
now. Wow. So that doesn't even get into cars
that are made by one company and then sold to
another and rebranded as their car. So you think
you're buying a Ford and you're buying an Opel
and you think you're buying a Mitsubishi and
you're buying a Lincoln. It's a mess. It is.
The car manufacturing industry is incredibly
inbred. And the only people talking about brand
loyalty and country loyalty are us because of
the advertisements. Behind the scenes, all those
car companies are making all sorts of deals with
each other, working together, sharing information,
sharing technology. But when it comes to advertising
to us, it's always, oh, it's us against the world,
man. And they want it like that, too. Yes. They
want it like that. They want you to buy the car
because you think that you're joining an exclusive
club. Oh, and then you have that elitist attitude.
Well, I bought American. No, you didn't, dumbass.
You didn't do your research, did you? They got
you. For a while there, Harley -Davidson's were
coming brand new from the factory with parts
made in Canada and Mexico. Oh, yeah. And a whole
industry started up selling just the replacement
parts. So you could take those foreign -made
parts off your Harley and put on American -made
parts, usually under the Screaming Eagle brand.
Yep. And I'm sure that the board of directors
at Harley said, let's put foreign parts on our
bikes and then tell everyone they're there and
then we'll sell them replacement parts so we
can get them to buy parts twice. Yep. Brilliant.
I'm sure that was what happened. Just like when
Brian Bosworth printed his own I Hate Brian Bosworth
material and sold it to Broncos fans. Yeah. He's
like, y 'all are going to hate on me. I might
as well make a profit. Yeah. And then he pissed
everyone off by donating it to Denver Charities.
Oh, yeah. So they couldn't get mad at him. They
couldn't get mad at him. But, yeah, I think that
was done intentionally by Harley. I think you're
right. Last I checked, Harley is owned by General
Electric. Wow. And General Electric is not strictly
an American company. They are definitely international.
Have you heard anything more about John Deere?
Uh, no. They moved to Mexico. But they said,
don't worry, though. We're going to build a big
plant in Indiana, but it's just going to be a
warehouse. Yep. Shitty jobs. Yep. They're just
housing the good jobs that went over to Mexico.
Yep. And then Trump came in and put tariffs on
them, and all of a sudden they're like, oh. Yeah,
the last I heard, John Deere is really, really
hurting. Yes. A few weeks back, we drove up to
see some friends in Nebraska who are farmers.
They hate them now. Oh, yeah. I mean, we drove
through all these small farms. You'd see a John
Deere dealership. Their lots were packed. Nobody
was buying anything. Or you'd see a John Deere
dealership, and they were totally empty because
they couldn't afford to keep stock anymore. They
couldn't afford to keep stock, yeah. So John
Deere is hurting big time. No, this guy, he completely
made the wrong moves completely. And it started
because of a couple of lawsuits that pissed him
off. So he said, fine, fuck you. I'm going to
move to Mexico. Yeah. And then Trump got in and
started putting tariffs on the Mexican products,
which would raise John Deere by 40%. And that
stuff is super expensive anyway. But anyhow,
they weren't going to work out anyhow because
everybody knew they moved. Yeah. And everybody
was madder than hell at them. Yeah. So, yeah,
they shot themselves in the foot. That CEO. Should
be unemployed soon. I imagine you probably will
be. Once the share prices come down and the stockholders
aren't making their profits, they're going to
say, eh, time for a change. Yeah, yep. Do you
want to do a guitarist face -off? Yes. Okay.
Get to my guitar list here. Okay. I was actually
organized today and printed a whole bunch of
stuff out. Oh, good. The charts of who owns what
car company, for some reason it printed six.
Six copies of those. I hate it when that happens.
I know. I click the print button once. And it
just starts going and going and going and going,
and you're like, what the hell is it printing?
It felt like using up some of my ink today. Yeah,
yeah, and paper. Yes. Do you want to go first
or me? We can go back and forth. Let's see. Okay,
my first one, I'm going to pick a couple of contemporaries.
Okay. Jimmy Page versus Jimi Hendrix. Songwriting,
I think I'd have to give it to Page. Yeah, I
think so too. Inventive, wizardry, outlandish,
groundbreaking is Hendrix. Yeah, he really changed
rock and roll guitar playing. Yeah. I'm going
to go with Hendrix. I think I would too. No slouching
Page. No, Page is his. His songwriting is some
of the best ever. Yeah. Even if he did steal
some stuff, possibly. He still, he came up with
enough stuff. And then John Paul Jones is not
a slouch either. Yeah, yeah. But yeah, I'm going
to go with Hendrix. But Jimmy Page is a great,
one of the best songwriters ever, in my opinion,
for rock. My first one is Randy Rhoades versus
Tony Iommi. And I came up with this because of
an answer that caught everybody off guard. Someone
asked Ozzy, I don't know, a couple years ago,
said, who was the best guitarist that ever played
for you? And he, without a doubt, said Tony Iommi.
Yeah? Yeah. He said that American players play
too fast, and they don't know how to write a
song. Yeah, I can definitely see that. Again,
Iommi was way more influential. Yes. Part of
it because he was around a lot longer, but still.
Jakey Lee was asked who was harder to play in
concert. Was it Iommi or was it Rhodes? He said
Iommi. Yeah, I can imagine. He said Iommi had
this nuance that you could not. He said you could
try all day to capture it. Roach you could copy
good enough and people would be like, oh yeah,
yeah, man, that's good. They said Iommi you could
play all day, but you could never sound quite
like him. Yeah, yeah. I heard Brian May is the
same way. Yeah, Brian May is, yeah, very much
so. Still waiting for their album. Yeah. Brian
May, Tony Iommi, Book of Riffs. Okay, anyhow.
It's kind of like the Rock Island Bridge. Oh,
yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, wait, no, no, no. It's
that prize they're dangling out in front of you
to keep you running. Supposedly the fall. Let's
hope, yeah. All right. So we both agree, Iommi?
Yeah. Okay. Eric Clapton versus Jeff Beck. Phew.
Yeah, it's not easy, is it? No. Boy, that's a
tough one. Isn't it? You're talking about slow
hand versus a master of emotion. I'm going to
go Beck, and here's why. Beck was more original.
That's true, that's true. I mean, Clapton was
one of the best bluesy, blues influence. I can't
really say Beck was Blues -influenced. I don't
know if he was. I don't know. He had some of
the basic kind of Blues -influenced, but he went
way past that. I mean, just way past that. I'm
very in whisper tone when I think Jeff Beck.
I'm going to go with Eric Clapton, even though
I don't like the man personally. I think he had
a much greater impact and inspired way more people.
I would agree. Yeah, Jeff Beck was important,
but he always seemed a little niche. He always
was niche. Yeah. I'm basing mine just actually
on something different, kind of originality different.
But then again, you could actually say that,
actually you could say about Clapton too. with
him inventing that distortion box wah -wah, fucking
all of that, everything. The way he played the
wah -wah, he completely just came up with his
own genre. Yeah, it's so tough, isn't it? I'm
going to stick with Beck, but okay. My next one
is, and this is songwriting, Iommi versus Blackmore.
Hmm. This sucks because Iommi is probably my
favorite. I'm going to go with Blackmore. I think
I can go with Iommi. Okay. I liked his tunes
better than Blackmore's. I get that. I do too.
But here's why I say this. Iommi came up with
Rainbow, and he came up with like five different
styles. Well, that's true. He was extremely versatile.
Yeah. I mean, he went from... mystical dungeon
and dragons okay went from deep purple straightforward
psychedelic and then hard rock and then almost
heavy metal yeah okay so then he goes rainbow
dungeon and dragons wizardry uh 20th century
green sleeves kill the king um okay and then
he goes to graham bonnet which is just crotch
walk and then he goes into pop with uh jolin
turner yeah and then he comes back to deep purple
reinvents the whole thing again Yeah, it's tough
to argue. It really is. I love Iommi, and Iommi's
my favorite out of both of them, but I have to
pick Blackmore because of that. But Iommi by
far is my favorite. Yeah. I'm trying to figure
out somebody to compare that guy to. I'm going
to put it off for now. Stevie Ray Vaughan. So
I'm going to skip ahead to Peter Frampton versus
Prince. How about Joe Bonamante? No. Okay. Who
was it now? Peter Frampton versus Prince. I'm
going to have to go Prince. I think I'm leaning
towards Prince as well. Prince was so different,
so innovative, and he never got the credit he
deserved either. No, he didn't. Peter Frampton
was good, but to me he was a little boring. Yeah,
I can see that. Some of his better tracks is
when he's redoing somebody else's. Bingo. Yeah,
like his version of While My Guitar Gently Weeps.
Yeah. Amazing. It is amazing. Yeah, but he didn't
write it. Yeah. Yeah, I'm going to go Prince
because of that. That's the biggest reason right
there. Prince was so original on every level,
including guitar. Yeah. Okay, I'm going to go
Jimi Hendrix versus Steve Vai. Ooh. Now, Steve
Vai is pretty dang inventive. Oh, and he's a
master of emotion. Yeah. I mean, even more than
anybody else. I'm going to have to go Steve Vai.
Yeah, I think so, too. I love Hendrix, but Vai
is just... I listened to some of his stuff the
other day, and I'm just like, how in the hell
did he do it? Not only do it, but come up with
it in his head. I'm sorry, go ahead. I was going
to say, some of the earliest Steve Vai I heard
was when he was in Frank Zappa's band. And he
was listed in the credits as Steve Vai, Impossible
Guitar Parts. Yes. And that's true, man. You
listen to that shit and you're like, what? And
if Zappra thought you were pulling off Impossible
Guitar Parts, that's something else. I agree.
And also another thing is Vai is clean. Hendrix
was dirty. Yeah, yeah. Which to me brings a whole
other level to your playing. Yeah, Steve Vai
likes to go for the signal processors. Yes. It
goes in sounding like a guitar, comes out sounding
like exactly the way he shaped it to sound. So
I'm going to have to go Not So Dirty, Not So
Messy, Steve Vai, and also Invent. Yeah, just
Steve Vai. Yeah. That was a good one. All right,
I figured somebody out to compare Stevie Ray
Vaughan to. Who? Billy Gibbons. Oh. ZZ Top. Oh.
Personal. Personal, just like better Billy Gibbons.
Yeah. He's so listenable. He is. Yeah, he sees
a lot more accessible, you know, because I can
listen to a Stevie Ray Vaughan live performance
and he's jamming his brains out. But after about
10 minutes, I'm done. You're done. I'm done.
Billy Gibbons has those driving rhythms. Yeah.
It's fucking fantastic. Yeah. I mean, he really,
he does not get enough credit. He never has and
he never will. Yeah. So, yeah. You know, if I
were going to a blues jam, I'd take Stevie. Yeah,
yeah. But if I was looking for somebody to join
a band and write good songs, it'd be Billy. Yeah.
Or if you just want to have a couple of beers
and enjoy some music. Yeah, there you go. Yeah,
you would definitely go get Billy Gibbons. You
know, hey, just start playing some rhythms, man.
We'll be over here jamming, you know, drinking
some beers. All right. Playing Naked Hula Hoop
or something. All right. How about Yngwie Malmsteen
versus Jimi Hendrix? Now, Yngwie was so talented,
but how much feeling did he really have? Yeah.
He was a lot of notes. And he's the guy, when
he burst on the scene, declaring himself to be
the greatest guitar player ever. Yeah. I'm going
to have to go Hendrix. I'm going to go Hendrix.
Yeah, it was all organic for him. Yeah, it was
organic. Everything he felt, he put in that guitar.
Where Malmsteen was kind of gimmicky. Very, very
talented. Yeah. Very talented. But. All right.
How about Brian May versus Carlos Santana? Ooh.
Ooh. Okay. Both have very distinct sounds. Yes.
I have to go with Brian May. Yeah? Yeah. And
the reason is Brian May and his versatility.
Brian May, I know. That's true. Yeah, because
he wasn't just playing. He could play a riff
like Iommi or he could play about anything. He
could fit into a pop song, a Hot 100 song. He
always found a way, whatever Queen was doing,
whatever their gimmick was at that point in time,
he played to a T. That's true, that's true. He
was very versatile. He was a chameleon in a way.
Yeah, he was very much so. And whatever he put
in, it didn't matter to him. He didn't have that
much ego. Whether it was just something that
fit like body language or... Hot Space, or Bohemian
Rhapsody, or Fat Bottom Girls. To me, that guy
was one of the ultimate guitarists. I'm going
to go Brian May. Okay. I think I'm going to go
with Carlos Santana. Admittedly, he's not as
versatile. He kind of has his thing, and he just
does his thing. But emotionally, Carlos Santana
just makes me happy. I get it. And Brian May
kind of makes me restless and edgy. I love the
music, but I don't feel all that good when I
listen to Santana. It's just like, man, I can
relax, I can do this, I can do that, and just
enjoy all the great musicianship. So personally,
I'd rather have Santana. Me, I give the edge
to Brian May, but is there really a wrong? No,
there's really nothing wrong. All right. How
about Mick Rouse versus Neil Shone? And this
is, to me, like a rhythm songwriter. Yeah. You
know... Neil Sean is no slouch and he's awesome.
I just got to go with McRalph. Me too. The body
of work from Bad Company was just amazing. Each
album had its own voice. Oh, I know. I have the
benefit of growing up and listening to Bad Company
as each album came out. I was right there for
the debut of each of those albums. Every time
they came out with a new one, everyone was just
blown away. Oh, I know. Look at Rocksteady. Yeah.
That rhythm is simple, but man, it is just crazy
good. The sky is burning. The sky is burning.
Oh, I love that. That's so much fun to play.
Yeah, and then you go to Johnny Was a Schoolboy.
Yes. When he heard his first Beatles song. Shooting
Star was a great... Shooting Star, yeah. Yeah.
What's his name sang on it, though? Actually,
it was not Paul Rogers. Oh, okay. Yeah, they
did have someone else sing that song. I forgot
that. I can't remember who it was. Was it the
bassist, maybe? I don't know. I'll have to look
it up. Yeah, I forgot. There are a number of
Queen songs that the drummer sings. Yeah, yeah,
because he was a great singer. Oh, he was. He
had an amazing voice. Roger Taylor. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, if he wasn't such an awesome drummer, then
Roger Taylor would have been the lead singer
in somebody else's band. Yeah, easily. Man, that
falsetto that everybody thought was Freddie Mercury
was not Freddie Mercury. That was Roger Taylor.
That was Roger Taylor, yeah. It was often said
that football player Chris Collinsworth would
have been a quarterback, except he was better
at receiver. But he could play quarterback, and
he was really good. Sometimes in warm -ups, he'd
be out there throwing 50, 60 -yard passes down
the field to the other receivers. Isn't that
something? But he was more valuable at wide receivers,
so he never played quarterback. Wow. Well, it's
kind of like Mahomes was going to be drafted
by Major League Baseball, but he opted football.
Yeah, yeah. For a pitcher, yeah. I don't see
much of a future for baseball as far as growth.
It's not going away, I don't think, but it's
just not growing. It's not growing, then they're
doing it to themselves, let's be honest. Yeah.
All right. Oh, it's your turn. You're going to
love the next one I got. All right. B .B. King.
Uh -huh. Keith Richards. Ooh. Now, Keith Richards
is so inventive, and you'll never get the credit
he does. Everyone calls him, like, oh, he's just
blues. No, no, no, no, no. He's more in blues,
but... But his songwriting is so unique. And
he's mostly a rhythm guitar player. Yes. I'm
going to have to go with B .B. King. Even though
I love Keith Richards' rhythm, like you said,
and he is so good at coming up with that simple
guitar that sounds so good that fits the songs.
No, no. I'm going to go with Keith Richards.
I am too. Yeah. I was in their way. He's like,
oh, I can't go against the oldest man alive.
No. I got to think about it and started thinking
of some of his rhythms and the stuff that he
came up with. It's Keith Richards. Yeah. How
about Mick Jones versus Mick Mars? Foreigner
versus Motley Crue. I'm going to go Mick Mars.
I'm going to go Mick Mars, too. Yeah. I love
Mick Jones. True, absolutely. And he was so versatile.
I mean, Dirty White Boy to 404. Great songwriter.
Oh, very good songwriter, yeah. One of the better
songwriters. He'll never get the credit. He's
one of the guys that don't get enough credit.
Lou Graham's voice was so prolific and good that
people tend to forget the songwriting that was
behind it. Yeah. They made saxophone cool again.
Yes, they did. Mick Mars. Yeah. Mick Mars was...
It's gotta be Mick. He was filthy. Dirty. Yeah.
And he sounded so good. Yeah, and when Vince
was singing all those hits, Mick's guitar sold
it. Yes. It's like his guitar and Vince Neal's
vocal style and voice and attitude just perfectly
synced up. Oh, I agree. It was just... Yeah,
it was amazing. I got one for you that describes
Mick Mars and how good he actually is. Helter
Skelter on Shout at the Devil's Side 2. It is
Helter Skelter, the song. I haven't heard that
one. Oh, my gosh. I'm going to have to listen
to that one. It is dirty. It's filthy. It's evil.
It is so good. And Vince's voice, he had that
Banshee voice back then. What a remake. It never
gets the credit because, I mean, you know, they're
Motley Crue and, you know, a lot of bands are
kind of like scoffing at them because they work
for Accords, you know? Yeah. But no, no, no,
Mick Mars, I agree. Yeah. Okay. Sorry to do this
to you, but Malcolm Young versus Angus Young.
Okay. Angus Young is fantastic, but, man, I love
Malcolm. I do, too. Like a highway to hell. Yeah.
Back in Black. Girl Scout Rhythm. Yep. Jailbreak.
A whole lot of Rosie. A whole lot. Oh, yeah,
yeah. Yeah, Malcolm. Yeah, I love Malcolm's rhythms.
Who does not get a lot of credit on lead guitar
is Angus. Yeah. He can play those great fucking
intricate leads while being a kick, doing that
little kick thing that he does. Yeah. What do
you call that? It's like a modified duck walk.
Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it is weird. Yeah,
spinning on the ground. There's a company that
has come out with a signature overdrive so you
can sound just like Angus Young. Really? and
they've worked in the feature that everyone seems
to miss when trying to get the Angus Young sound
is he went wireless from the very beginning.
You notice he's never dragging a guitar chord
around the stage. No, he never was. He started
from the very beginning using a wireless setup,
and the wireless setup affected his tone. So
he starts with that tone and then goes on from
there. So this new overdrive pedal incorporates
that wireless. Very cool. Yeah. Apparently it
sounds, I forget the name of it. It's named after
an ACDC song or album. I can't remember which
one. Thunderstruck or something. Yeah, something
like that. But that's pretty cool. I never really
noticed until they mentioned it in the ad for
the Overdrive. It's like, he never saw a chord
dragging around behind him. It's always wireless.
Who would have thought that that would be part
of his tone, his famous tone. Yeah, yeah. Okay,
this one. I love this one. How about Billy Squire
versus Joe Walsh? Ooh. This one's hard to wrap
your mind around because of how different. Yeah.
Oh, gosh. What band was Billy Squire in before
he went solo? Was that? I can't. Was it Mott
the Hoople? It might have been Mott the Hoople.
It might have been Mott the Hoople, eh. Peter
Frampton came out of Humble Pie. Yeah. But anyway,
Billy Squire always seemed to play guitar better
when he was in a band with another guitar player.
I agree. Who pushed him. Yes. And when that happened,
he was just amazing. Yeah, and Joe Walsh could
do it on his own really well. Yeah. I'm going
to have to go to Joe Walsh. I think I'm going
to vote Billy Squire. Really? Yeah. You know
what? Actually, hang on, hang on. My Kind of
Lover, The Stroke, and then if he's in... Let
me see if he's in my... Okay. I think I may be
leaning towards Billy Squire, too. Joe Walsh
leaned really heavily on the... What band was
Billy Squire in? Leaned really heavily on the
standard blues progressions and structure. So
he's kind of like playing with a stacked deck.
But I think Billy took more chances. The Kicks
with New York Dolls drummer Jerry Nolan. He also
played in Ringo Starr and his All -Star Band.
Interesting. He was not in Mata Hoople. It's
funny. It must have been wrong. Somebody told
me he was in a well -established band, but he
must not. Who was that? Mata Hoople was... I
can't remember who... Oh, well. All right, I'm
going to go Billy Squire, too. The only thing
I can think of from Mata Hoople was Ian Hunter,
the keyboard player. Hang on. And I think he
played with somebody else. I thought it might
have been the guy that ended up replacing Blackmore
in Purple for an album, and then he died. Bolin?
Was it Tommy Bolin? Tommy Bolin, yeah. He might
have been in Mata Hoople. Hang on. Who was the
guitarist in Mott the Hoople? Mick Ralphs. Mick
Ralphs. That's right. That's right. How could
I have forgot that? Mick was in Mott the Hoople,
and Paul Rogers and the drummer Simon Kirk were
in Free. Yeah. They did the song All Right Now.
Uh -huh. And then the bass player, Buzz Burrell,
they just kind of picked him up. Yeah. He wasn't
really all that great a bass player. They pretty
much had to teach him everything on the fly.
Yeah, they did. But he rose to the challenge,
man. He really did. Man, how could I have forgot
that? Yeah. Yeah, Mick Rouse. Mick Rouse was
great in that, too. Mick Rouse was awesome in
Mott the Hoople. All right. Pete Townsend from
The Who versus Leslie West from Mountain. Mississippi
Queen, if you know what I mean. Okay. If you
haven't heard of Mississippi Queen, go listen
to that right now. I'm going to go ahead and
go with Mountain. Yeah. I think Leslie West was
just, he influenced so many people that you just
don't realize until they tell you. And the thing
is, Mississippi Queen was a song, it was a good
song, but it never really did receive that much
accolade. No, but it was awesome as a bar band
song. I played that in probably five different
bar bands. Everyone loved it. Everyone packed
the dance floor just because it had that sound.
Yeah. It's kind of like Cheap Trick's Gonna Raise
Hell. Yes. Used to hear that at a bar band and
we'd be like, gonna raise hell, gonna raise hell.
That's a good song. That was a fun song. Yeah,
how about, oh, Rick Nielsen. He's very underrated.
Oh, yeah. Or Nelson. Nielsen. Nielsen, I thought,
yeah. Yeah, very underrated guitarist. Yeah,
definitely. Interesting guy, too. All right.
I forgot him on my list. How about Zach Wilde
versus Jakey Lee? Ooh. Well, I've heard more
of Zach Wild. Yeah, I'm going to have to go with
Zach because of Body of Work. But, man, Jakey
Lee. And here's another thing, too. I did not
like Badlands. Yeah. I didn't think his guitar
work was exceptional in that like it was on everything
else that he did. He tried to go blues. I didn't
appreciate the music in Badlands at all. So Zach
Wild did a lot of stuff outside of Sabbath that
was inventive and good. And also he plays in
Pantera. He does Dimebag stuff perfectly. He
plays Hendrix perfectly. He sings just like Ozzy.
Yeah. And plays insane. Yeah. And he has a solo
band. And Zach Sabbath is amazing. If you ever
get a chance to see Zach Sabbath, if you're a
Sabbath band, go see it. Yeah. Yeah. Zach Wild.
Yeah, I think I'd go with Zach as well. Let's
see. I like this segment. I do, too. Tom Morello,
Rage Against the Machine. Yeah, he's something
else. Frank Zappa, Mothers of Invention. Oh,
shit. That's dirty. That's dirty, isn't it? That's
dirty. Fuck. I'm almost tempted to say a tie.
It does seem like a tie, doesn't it? Because
I've got so much respect for both of them. Me
too. I'm going to say tie. I don't know if I
can pick one. They're both just... Yeah. Okay.
I would feel horrible saying one was... I know.
I can't pick either one. Tie. It's a tie. Tie.
We went through overtime and they're still tied.
They're still tied. I bet you if you asked each
one of them, they would say they're tied also.
Yeah. They go, well, okay. We're the same. All
right, how about Ace Frehley versus Phil Collin?
Ooh. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Ace is so good. The feeling,
he's sloppy. But he's kind of like a Hendrix,
not as flashy and not as inventive. But the feeling
he got on these songs. The authenticity. The
authenticity, yeah. Yeah, that's a big thing.
He's, like, always been one of my favorite guitarists.
Even though he's sloppy. Yeah, I don't care.
I'm sloppy. I'm sloppy at drums. What the hell?
Yeah, you know what? But I've always loved sloppiness.
Jimmy Page, like I said, one of his best guitarists
in the evening, you know, the solo on that. Sounds
like he took the guitar and hit it on the fucking
drum. Yeah, yeah. It was like he dropped it a
couple of times. And it's like, I don't care.
It fit. And that was the thing with Rush and
Neil Peart, the drummer. the early albums he
was like precise machine precise and so there
was very little feeling and there was not a lot
of dynamics either no and then he decided to
relearn how to play drums and wow, he got so
much better. Yeah, because he was doing feeling
versus technical. But I have to admit, some of
that early technical stuff was just mind -blowing.
It was. He was like a machine, like you said.
He was so just... Was it their third album, Caress
of Steel? Yes. And there's a little short song
on there called Didacts and Narpets. Yes. And
it's mostly a drum solo. And Rush has admitted
that that's like double speed of what they recorded
it. Because they were trying to impress everybody.
But if you play it back at like half speed, then
the voices sound, the guitars and the instruments
start sounding normal again. Really? But it really
is like an Alvin and the Chipmunks version of
a song. A little tune they did. Geddy Lee had
that high register anyhow. Yeah. But it's so
weird that they just decided to speed the song
up and squeeze it on the album. That's weird.
I got a question. Did Geddy Lee lose his voice
or not? Because he quit singing so loud. So high
and so loud, yeah. Yeah, I think he lost some
of that upper range, but he was kind of ready
to. Yeah, but he still did great. He still had
his own originality. Oh, Ace. I think I'll go
Phil Collin. Okay, there's no wrong answer on
that. I've seen Ace Frehley live, and I saw Def
Leppard live, but that was before. I was on their
first album, so they had original members. Phil
Collins is shredder. He is really, really good.
He's much better than people ever thought. Or
most people think. People that know, know. But
I saw him on G5, Guitar 5. Yeah. First off, he
had his band called the Mississippi Bells or
something like that, where it was all blues with
this African -American lady. Is that what, I
mean, I don't know what the technical term is
anymore. Is it black, black lady? I have no idea
what's in fashion, right? Yeah, okay. A really
heavy black lady that could sing. Oh, my God,
she could sing. And he was doing blues. And then
he goes, all right, that's my first two songs.
His second two songs, you know, his second pair
of songs were all just shredding. And it's like.
He was playing this blues, southern blues stuff.
Sounded so good. And then he comes out just like...
And it's like, what the hell is going on here?
So I could see that, but I like Ace's feeling.
Yeah. So, songwriting. All right. Alex Lifeson
versus John Petrucci, Dream Theater. I'm going
to go Lifeson. I love Petrucci, but Lifeson to
me had a feel that like... To me, he was one
of the better guitarists. He never got the credit
either, probably because of Neil Peart and Geddy
Lee on bass and singing. Alex Lifeson's guitar
was so unique. Yeah, yeah. There are times when
I'm listening to Dream Theater and I wish John
Petrucci would just kind of slow down. A new
book about the formation led Zeppelin to arrive
in September. The product of years of research,
this enormous book contains the most detailed
and accurate account yet of the pathway to Led
Zeppelin's formation and the events of their
tumultuous first year. Along is a wealth of rare
material concerning the members' earlier careers
and reproductions of virtually every piece of
press they received between getting together
in August 1968 and the release of Led Zeppelin
II in October 1969. Bolger had barely seen archival
information and imagery. The feature and a long
introduction by the renowned music journalist
Chris Welch, who knew them from the start. Tour
with them and visit them at home. It is simply
essential for the many admirers. The 348 -page
Led Zeppelin, The Only Way to Fly, will be made
available in a limited edition large format hardback
quarter bound and clop. The first 250 pre -orders
of the book will receive an exclusive poster
and Jimmy Page's used underwear. Allegedly. No,
not really. But you do get the poster. Out. No,
they didn't. Oh, they just float. Okay. Well,
it is almost 930 at night. Yeah, that's true.
Yes. They're about ready to kick us out. Look
at them. Yeah. Yeah. They'll just pretend to
be Mrs. Golfenstein's bodyguards. Yes. We have
not seen her for so long. We have not. Well,
she's afraid. She turned Rob into a capuchin
monkey. I remember that. Yeah. I think Mayor
Lucas gave her a bus voucher and sent her off
to Tulsa. I think you're right. Yeah. Yeah. You'll
love it there. You'll love it there, Ms. Goldstein.
Yes. They have, like, moonflowers and tulips
that bloom all year round. And the dirt is real
red. Yes. You'll love that sulfur water. It was
that sulfur water. Finally, I have Vivian Campbell.
Oh, wait a minute. Where were we? Yeah, your
turn. Okay. Vivian Campbell versus Doug Aldridge.
A couple of Dio guys and played in a lot of different
bands. Def Leppard, Doug Aldridge, you name it,
he probably played in it at one time. Yeah. I
like Vivian Campbell real well. Vivian Campbell
has a very unique style. Yeah. He had such a
unique style that it made Dio, the original band,
what it was. Yeah. And after he was fired, the
band never did recover. Yeah. Yeah. Dio can say
whatever he wants, but that was a bad move. That
was a bad move. Yeah. Well, my last one is I'm
going to recycle Stevie Ray Vaughan. Okay. Against
Mark Knopfler of Dire Straits. Mark Knopfler.
Yeah. That was just kind of a no -brainer, isn't
it? Sorry I ended with a weak one. No, no, no.
I like that because it just illustrates how good
Mark Knopfler is. And a lot of people don't even
realize it. I mean, he doesn't get that much
pub. Yeah. Man, his rhythms. Yeah. Remember in
their first hit, Sultans of Swing, he's talking
about, check out guitar George. He knows all
the chords. Yeah. But it's strictly rhythm. He
doesn't want to make a cry or sing. He was talking
about his brother Dave, who was in the band at
the time on rhythm guitar. Oh, really? Yeah.
Dave Knopfler was the rhythm guitar player. So
he was guitar George. What a band, though. Yep.
And their original drummer, Pick Withers, oh,
I loved his drumming. I liked him better than
anybody else they've had since. I understand
they needed to go to kind of arena rock style
drumming on some of the stuff, but man, Pick
Withers just had so much feeling. Even when they
kind of sold out in the 80s, it was still unique
and good. Yeah, they went to the I Want My MTV
years. And the funny thing is, is that song,
they still don't edit it a lot of times. No.
Yeah, it says, look at that F. Yeah. That's the
way you do it. You play your guitar or your MTV.
Look at that little F. He's wearing an earring
and a cap. Yes. He's wearing the earring and
the makeup. He's the term the British used to
use for a cigarette. Yes. Yeah. You got more?
That's it. That's all I got, too. On the guitar.
I have some bullet points. Okay. Do you want
to go into them or you got something? I've got
a bunch more stuff, but I want to do bullet points.
Okay. All right. What band would you love to
see resurrected, dead or alive? Hmm. Wow. You
know, there was a point I would say the original
Alice Cooper band, but that's kind of happening
right now. Yeah, it is. It's missing. Let's see.
Who would it be missing here? I know it's missing
at least one. Yeah, Glenn Buxton, their lead
guitarist is deceased. Yeah. I think a band I
would like to resurrect would be... Damn. I don't
know. Let me think on it. If you've got one,
go ahead, because I'm flailing here. Blizzard
of Oz. Oh, yeah. I want to see what they could
do on their third album. Blizzard and Diary were
just epic. Epic. Could they do more? Could they
do better? Yeah, I think they had a lot of room
to grow, a lot of places they could have gone,
yeah. And I'm going with the original with Lee
Kerslake and Bob Daisley. Yeah. Instead of Tommy
Altridge and Rudy Sarza. Tommy's no slouch. No,
no, no. I mean, the other one would work too,
but I believe like the true magic. Yeah, Kerslake
was their first choice, and Daisley was their
first choice, and there's a reason. Yeah, and
Bob Daisley, he came back over and over until
he sued him. Yeah. He came back on probably four
or five other albums for him. I mean, his most
famous was No More Tears. He was behind a lot
of those songs, and so was Lemmy. Yep. Lemmy
Kilmeister of Motorhead wrote four songs for
that album. And then Zach Wilde wrote Mom, I'm
Coming Home. Yep. Yeah, it was quite an album.
That's my choice. You got any? I would like to
see the original Elton John band back when he
was actually putting out rock and roll. That's
a really good pick, yeah. From about 71 through
75. Before all his friends started dying. Yeah.
Yeah, because then he started writing tributes
and it's like, hey, come on. Look, they were
good songs, but they weren't Elton John songs.
He actually had a disco album. Yeah, the original
Elton John band, I think. Nigel Olsen on drums.
D. Murray on bass. Really underrated bass player.
Dave Murray's brother. Yeah. Don Murray. Yeah.
And then Davy Johnstone on guitar. I forget the
name of their... percussion player, Ray something.
I can't remember. In fact, Elton is now touring
with just that percussion player. Really? So
it's piano and percussion. Why not? What is he,
80? Something like that, probably. That's all
the stuff he wants to sing. I bet. Although he
did the... The Spinal Tap song, the one about
Stonehenge. That's right. Yeah. Okay, you know
what, he can still do it, yeah. I saw that video
the other day. Spinal Tap comes out, starts doing
the Stonehenge intro, and then up from the floor
of the stage rises this monster piano, and Elton's
banging out the chords and singing Stonehenge.
It's just so amazing. Oh, I know. And also, he
looks great for his age. Yeah, he looks like
he's having fun. Yeah, yeah. He's Elton John.
Yeah. Legend. All right. If you could put an
all -star rock band back together, dead musicians
or live ones, who would they be in this format?
Lead singer, one guitarist, one bassist, one
drummer, and one keyboardist. Lead singer, I'd
probably go with... I think I'd go with Karen
Carpenter. I always loved the Carpenters. You
know, it sounds really weird because it's so
soft and gentle, but there was a point when Karen
Carpenter was rated as the number one drummer
in the world because she was that good. I didn't
know that. Yeah, but she sang better. Karen Carpenter
was amazing. Yeah. So Karen Carpenter on vocals.
I'd go with Tommy Bolan on guitar. Dee Murray
on bass. That's a good choice, yeah. I'm trying
to think of a dead drummer. Oh, Neil Peart. There
you go. Neil Peart. Okay. There you go. And if
not Karen Carpenter, then Lane Staley. Lane Staley's
a good one. Yeah. Okay. I'm going to go Lane
Staley. No, no, no. I'm going Chris Cornell.
Oh, yes. Yes, another good choice. Chris Cornell.
He can also be the rhythm if he wants. The guitarist,
I think I'm going to go with Prince. Oh, good
choice. Chris Cornell and Prince, and Chris Cornell
doing rhythm guitar, Prince doing lead. Nice.
The bassist. It's tough to think of. It is. I'm
going to go with Geyser Butler. I love his jazzy,
flipping, crazy -ass everything. And Lee Kerslake.
Yeah. I just love his style on Blizzard. To me,
that's an interesting band. May not be the most
talented one ever. Yeah, that would be some interesting
music. And John Lord. Oh, yeah. I didn't pick
out a keyboard player, but Raymond Zarek. Oh,
yeah. You can't go wrong with him. I think I'll
pick him for the keyboard. His evil carnival
fucking... I just, I've always loved John Lord.
Yeah. John Lord, to me, played a guitar, not
a keyboard. Yeah, yeah. He was so good at it.
All right. April Wine was a band that should
have been much bigger, more popular, in my opinion.
Don't you think they should have been a lot bigger?
What band do you think, just one, what band do
you think should have been much bigger, but nobody
can really say why they just did not hit that?
Mine is April Wine. That's why I put it on there.
I'm going to say type O negative. Oh, gosh, yeah.
Because they were making the right kind of music
at the right time. I don't know what happened.
Yeah, well, I mean, even before Peter Steele
died, they just really weren't having a lot of
success. No, I've seen him open up for Motley
Crue. Yeah. And everybody was really, really
into it. Yeah. And I remember I just got into
him maybe a year before. Yeah. And that's where
everybody thought the guitarist, I forgot his
name now, for a typo negative was John Carabi.
Oh, yeah. Yeah, and they really didn't look that
much alike. But he was watching. He was getting
ready to watch Motley Crue, right? They were
going to come out, and he must have just jumped
off stage and ran over there because there was
hardly anybody there. Because nobody went to
go see the Motley Crue self -titled. No one went
to that. Number one, they didn't buy the album.
Number two, they did not go to the tour, and
it was empty. Sandstone was basically empty.
There was like 3 ,000 people there, and he was
in a whole row by himself just sitting there.
And someone goes, hey, that's John Carabi. I'm
sitting there thinking, shouldn't he be backstage
getting ready? I would think. Yeah, so I walk
up there and they're all signing his ticket and
stuff. And guys go, yeah, cool, man. When you're
getting on stage, you see him going. He had no
idea they thought he was John Carabi. And I went
up there and I reassured him. I said, hey, you
guys did a great job, man. I said, you're probably
going to be better than Motley Crue, but no.
Motley Crue did fine. They did great on stage.
This one, they still could do it. And John Krabbe
was awesome. But they really, really had a great
sound live. Their groove was good. I don't know.
Maybe they're a little too ghoulish. Maybe people
just didn't catch it that much. I guess so. Because
every song was about the dead. And they really...
didn't lend to a very lively stage presence either
no no no loving you is like loving the dead i
mean there's only so much you could do with a
song like christian woman yeah christian oh god
now we know why they didn't make it right now
there's 20 people who are downloading christian
woman you're trying to figure out what it sounds
like but hey man they were a great band yeah
and peter steele was so fascinated with the dead
and then he ended up being a really young yeah
some rare Yeah, it was his heart. Some sort of
an illness in his heart, I believe. Yeah, I think
it was heart -related. Yeah, okay. Did you know
he is Greg Steele, the Faster Pussycats brother?
Did not know that. For real. Yeah, I know I say
everybody's everybody's brother. No, for real.
And they actually look quite a bit alike, too,
if you ever compare them. Peter Steele's a little
bit taller and has a much bigger penis. Obviously.
I guess my runner -up bands. Would be Monster
Magnet. Oh, yeah. Jersey Band. Yep. Nashville
Pussy I thought should have been much bigger.
Not Ted Nugent. King's X. Yes. King's X is probably
the best answer. Yeah. King's X had the sound.
They had a very unique look. They had a black
man that had a mohawk from hell. And he sang
well and played bass. He was a hell of a singer
and a hell of a bass player. And a lefty. Yeah,
and he was a big Phil Lynott fan. He was, yeah.
And he played similar. Yeah. Comparable. I would
say so. Yeah. King's X wound up. influencing
more other musicians than being popular among
the general public. I think King's X is probably
the best answer out of all of them because they
influence so much music and so many people don't
know who they are. And Doug Pinnock shows up
on everybody's album because everyone just loves
him. Everybody loves his voice. Yeah. He's got
a very unique voice. Yeah. And very recognizable.
Yeah. The album I keep going back to is Tapehead.
Yeah, that's a good one. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, yeah,
I think King's X is the best. Okay, was Aaron
Lewis better in Stained or Solo? I kind of like
his Solo stuff better. I do too. Yeah. Yeah,
that's why I wrote it out. I was like, yeah.
He kind of branched out a little more. Yeah,
yep. This next one is a tough one. In Black Sabbath,
who was more important, Tony Iommi or Ozzy Osbourne?
Look, I'm going to... I love Ozzy, but I gotta
say Tony Iommi because they went on with Dio
and they had a slightly different sound, but
it was Iommi's guitar that made it so good again.
Yeah, imagine if it had been the other way around
and Tony Iommi had left and they brought in some
other guitar player to be the sound of Black
Sabbath. Would have never worked. Never would
have worked, no. So it's gotta be Tony Iommi,
but man, you know, Ozzy was so uncritical in
those younger... years because of his flaying,
his screaming, his weirdness, his charisma, his
stage presence. Yeah. He had a stage presence
similar to Elvis. Yeah, yeah, he really did.
If he was on stage, everybody was looking at
him. Yeah. Nowhere else. Yeah. Might as well
be out there with a backing track. Yeah. Yeah,
he could actually just sit on the stage and fuck
his nuts. And people watch him instead of someone
like Dio singing his ass off. I was just going
to say I feel sorry for every woman within 100
yards whose panties are now soaked because that
guy's revving his motorcycle engine. It just
automatically makes everyone soak their panties.
His penis extension. Yes. I want to go tell them
the only people who are impressed by you revving
your engine are other guys who rev their engine.
That's it. And they want to meet you at George
Michael's outhouse. Or the Liberty Memorial.
Both. The lonely guy fluid exchange site. Oh,
gosh. Bodily fluids. Bodily fluids for sale.
I wonder if they still do that or not. I don't
know. I think they clamped down on that for a
while. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Kind of
made it more family friendly. And then people
started getting shot because people thought they
were cute going over there disturbing them. Yeah.
Yeah, so. All right. And I'm not talking about
the gays. I'm talking about the guys that were
there ridiculing them for getting shot. Yes.
All right. What Black Sabbath album was their
best musically? Never Say Die. No. Technical...
I'm going to say... I'm kind of... Okay. If you
want to go into... The Dio era, it's got to be
Heaven and Hell. Yeah, I was going to ask if
it's just strictly the Ozzy era. Because I was
going to say Heaven and Hell as well. Heaven
and Hell was their apex. It was their best album
musically. Other than that, I would say their
first one. Their first one? Just because of the
impact and everything's so new and fresh. Yeah.
On their first album, there are no expectations.
Yeah. You know, it's like, teach me about this
band. What are you guys? That first album was
just stunned everybody because, you know, and
I love reading this article that said they had
no idea devil worshiping existed. They're going
off a Boris Karloff movie. Yep. You know? And
then they're like, we're what? What is that?
You know, people actually like worship the dark
lord, you know, the guy down there in hell. What?
We're them. Yeah, yeah. You're them. Oh, my gosh.
And the manager is furiously going, go with it.
Yeah. Don't ever argue with it. Yeah. Say something
mystical. Yeah. Just say no comment. Yeah. Or,
yeah, or Ozzy's one was, I was born a Christian,
and then he just left it at that. Yeah. It was
brilliant. They should have staged some incidents
where they sit down at an outdoor table and a
dead bird falls out of the tree. And then Ozzy
bites his head off. Yes. Okay, Heaven and Hell.
What about Dio Era Sabbath? What would be the
best album? That would be Heaven and Hell. Should
Kiss apologize for doing one more show, at least?
The Kiss Army 50th anniversary in Vegas in November.
They're doing that show. No, I don't think they
should apologize. I don't think anybody who says,
this is it, final, done, forever. Oh, next week
I'm playing over at this place. Come see me.
I agree. It's just kind of what happens now.
If you believe them when they say final tour,
final whatever, then that's on you. Yeah, I agree.
It's been going on forever. I mean, Fleetwood
Mac did it for 30 years. Stones have had how
many farewell tours? 30 years. Yeah. Yeah, I
agree with that. Okay, the show will be unmasked.
They're not going to be in their usual garb.
Does that make any difference at all? I don't
think so. I think it would be a good idea to
do half the show in makeup and then have a little
short intermission and then take the makeup off
and put on regular dude clothes and just come
out as four regular guys. Okay. So that way you
get both. I would enjoy that. Okay. Yeah, you
know what? That would be good. I agree with that.
I mean, not an unplugged kind of thing where
they sit down and pick at little instruments.
I'm talking about a full kiss show. They're dressed
like regular musicians. It's supposed to be a
full -kiss show. It's going to be good. And I
know why they're not putting on their garb. Gene
Simmons cannot fit in it. He probably doesn't
want to stand on those giant heels anymore. He
probably couldn't. Yeah. You get a little tippy
when you get older. Yeah. I just turned 64. Especially
when you've got a gut like him now. Oh, yeah.
Look, I'm no one to talk, but, you know, Gene
Simmons does have some stuff coming because of
his pompous, arrogant attitude. So I'm going
to say he's a fat ass. There you go. All right.
KISS, then finally. KISS is to unveil their new
avatars in two or three years. Will that be a
complete failure? Yeah. Yes. No one will care.
No one cares right now. Why will they care then?
And by then, it will be like, oh, yeah, that
technology from way back when. Yeah, I remember
that. What a bunch of dinosaurs. Yeah. And they
sold it, so they don't care. They're not going
to be pushing it. I mean, anything that you come
out in two or three years from now has got to
be something that was invented like a week before
you brought it out. Yeah. Yeah, I agree. I think
it's a waste of time. Yeah. All right, that's
all of the bullet points. Well, I've got some
random stuff kind of straight into douchebag
territory. That's fine with me. We are still
douchebags and would like to remind everybody.
Yeah. Did you know? that Dairy Queen can no longer
call their product ice cream. Not legally. I
didn't know that, but I believe it. Yeah. This
came out about a week ago. The Food and Drug
Administration tested their product, and there's
not enough ice cream in it for them to call it
ice cream. So in general terms, that means there's
less than half real ice cream. I wonder what
kind of a line they're going to come up with.
Dairy dessert. Something like that. Or they'll
just call it a cone. Well, it's like your lactose
-free ones. Yeah. I read the ingredients in there.
It's like there's really nothing dairy in it.
I mean, I know they're not supposed to, but I
don't even know how they even put it together.
I know. Half the chemicals are in there to keep
it from falling apart or smelling bad or turning
a bad color. Yeah, yeah. It's good, though. I
mean, it's really good for being lactose -free,
but yeah. But, yeah, I'll be curious to see what
Dairy Queen calls their stuff because it's not
ice cream anymore. Dairy Treat or something.
Yeah. Frozen Treats. Yeah, it's going to be something
like that. Okay. And I also learned that the
islands from the Jurassic Park movies that have
little dinosaurs running around and flying over,
you can now download that for your Microsoft
Flight Simulator. I love that. And fly your airplane
around those dinosaur -filled islands. You can
fly with the pterodactyls. While Mark goes and
visits the bathroom, I'll mention some other
things. I was driving by an office building the
other day, and it's one of those big giant ones
with glass windows, and it looks like a big block
of ice. And there are no signs on it anywhere.
I can't really tell. What business is there?
But the sign out front said, signage available
for this building. I thought, what in the world
does that mean? I looked it up. You can pay them
to put the name of your company on the side of
their building. That way people will think, oh,
look at that giant building that that company
owns. They must be doing well. But I didn't know
that that was a thing, that you can pretend.
that your company has this big giant -ass building
and just pay to put your name on it. It's kind
of like naming rights of a stadium or something.
That just struck me as odd. So now when I drive
around and I see a great big building with a
company name on it, I think, do they really work
there? Do they have really their building? Are
they just paying to have their name on it? You
never know. I've been trying to mess around with
the YouTube algorithm lately. And what I've been
doing is refusing to watch a video unless they
give me the video first. If they start an ad
first, I back out. And then I try it again. And
so far, there's only been one video where it
would not let me watch the video first. It just
refused to do anything but give me an ad first.
But for the most part, after about five or six
tries, it'll go straight to the video. And then
if I keep that up, the rest of the evening...
I can pretty much go straight to the video without
an opening advertisement. So that's been working
out really well. I was telling you about how
I've been jacking around with the YouTube algorithm
by refusing to let it show me an ad first. I
just back out and say, nope, try again. I've
been doing the same thing. It started in the
hospital when I was in the hospital and I had
extra time. So this has been on Spotify. And
I didn't get the premium service because I'm
having so much fun screwing with AI and algorithms.
Because you taught me that. You told me about
that. Yep. It knows when I'm at work and I can't
get to it. Yep. So it started loading in like
four advertisements real quick. And I couldn't
stop them in time. So I'm like, all right, bitch.
I stopped listening to it for a month. Ooh. Yes.
It learned its lesson. It did. Now it's behaving.
It's giving me one ad. but it's about every three
songs and it's a quick ad but it's going to change
again you watch because it figured out what the
zip code i was in it's like oh he can't get to
it here because he never uh yeah yeah yeah i've
been been some of the videos that i've been skipping
the ads over they'll get me like two or three
minutes into the video and then they'll throw
me like a minute and a half commercial break
Yeah, and you can't really go out of it either.
So a lot of times I'll just quit out of that
and start the video over again and just mess
with it until it gives me what I want. I do too.
But it's now starting to retaliate by disabling
the buttons on my Xbox controller. I usually
use my Xbox to watch YouTube. And, you know,
A button to start the video, B button to back
out of it. It'll bring up an ad and I'll hit
the B button and nothing happens. Oh, yeah, yeah,
yeah. Hit it, hit it, hit it, nothing happened.
Hit the A button, nothing happened. Every other
button works. So when it does that, I shut off
the entire Xbox for at least an hour. That's
okay. We're on the same page here. And that hurts
Xbox, too. Yes, it does. It's their live services.
And it's learning. It really is learning. It's
getting to the point now where it'll test me.
I go home right now and click on a video, and
it'll bring up an ad that I can't skip for 30
seconds. And it's, nope, not doing it. And there
are a couple channels that I subscribe to where
it just is completely given up and it just starts
the video first and doesn't even argue with me.
That's great. At the end of the day, they still
want the numbers. They don't want you going somewhere
else. Yeah. Yeah, no, what it started doing to
me was it would say first out of four advertisements.
Now it doesn't say anything. Yeah. Nothing. And
I'm like, oh, you fuckers. So then I started
shutting it off. I'm like, you're not going to
tell me the ads, how many? Shut you off. They
went back to tell me the ads, and they went back
to doing four, and it was doing it only when
I was at work, because when I was at home, I
would get to shut it off. And so then I just
started listening to something else for a month,
and I come back, and now it's back to one ad,
but it's every three songs. And it's a quick
ad, too. It's about 30 seconds. But it will go
back. It always does. It'll test the grounds.
You'll be like, well, maybe he doesn't care now.
I tried another experiment with my phone the
other day. I needed to restart it for a software
update. But instead of restarting, I selected
shut down. I thought, well, I'm just going to
turn it off and let it sit here for an hour or
two, cool off, and just be inert. And while I
was doing that, I thought, hmm, I'm going to
test it. So I started talking about orange marmalade.
I was like, oh, man, I would really love to have
some orange marmalade, but I don't have any.
It's so delicious on toast. And you can even
put it on, like, ham. Man, I really wish I had
some orange marmalade. So I just talked about
it. My phone was completely off and dead. When
I turned it back on, it didn't take more than
an hour, and I started seeing ads for orange
marmalade popping up everywhere. Isn't that crazy?
So either my phone was still listening, even
though it was off, or everything else in my house
was listening. You see, the way it's connected
on YouTube and Google, I think it's everything
else. And when you turn your phone on, it's like,
hey! Remember that orange marmalade? Mm -hmm.
We got you covered. Yeah, yeah. So I think with
my phone, the original design of the phones was
you had a removable battery. You could take it
out. Yep. Then the phone manufacturers realized
that that would effectively turn the phone off.
But they wanted the phone to always be on and
always be listening, so they made the battery
non -removable. So even though you turned it
off... It was still on in some fashion and listening.
Plus the fact that every single speaker is also
a microphone. All you have to do is reverse the
flow of energy and every speaker becomes a microphone.
So if you have speakers in your house, you have
microphones in your house. And if those speakers
are attached to something with an interconnection,
then that microphone is connected to the internet
and is listening to you. And you just got to
accept that. The infrared sensor on your TV so
you can use the remote, It also senses when there's
a warm body in the room watching TV. Yeah. And
it senses when there are four warm bodies in
the room and it adjusts the advertising accordingly.
We're all being watched and surveilled and advertised
to. It's just fun to jack with the technology
every once in a while. It sure is. Anyhow, let's
see, you were doing something when I went...
I went back to the year 2000 and decided let's
take a look at the year 2000, which is 25 years
ago, as a quarter of the century has already
passed. So let's take a look back and see what
was popular in the year 2000. Sports cars. The
BMW 330s was the consistent winner on 10 best
car lists. Single, it's inline six engine, noted
for smoothness and responsiveness. The Honda
S2000 was also a very popular sports car. It
was high revving, came with a stick. Porsche
911. For luxury and executive cars, the Mercedes
-Benz CL600 was the big deal in the year 2000.
V12 powered coupe. The BMW 7 Series, the Saab
9 -5 Aero. Saab is even out of business now.
Yeah, they're gone. It was a performance -oriented
version of their executive sedan, offering comfortable
ride and luxury with a powerful turbocharged
engine. Oh, yeah. Okay. The fifth -generation
Mustang came out in 2000. Oh, wow. Okay. Volkswagen
came out with the new Beetle in 2000. Remember
when they brought the Beetle back? It was modified.
It was wider. Apparently, Porsche and Hitler
stole the design from a Czech manufacturer and
then tweaked the design a little bit and put
the car into production. So for a large segment
of the world's population, the Volkswagen Beetle
has always been the Hitler car. Oh, yeah, yeah,
that's the way I've always understood it. Yeah.
It's a Hitler car. It is. Also, a popular car
in the year 2000 was the Chrysler PT Cruiser.
A retro -styled wagon. It was designed to have
practicality and affordability. Well, it's because
it had the tiny, tiny little engine in it. Yes.
And you'd like stand on the accelerator and you'd
probably get zero to 60 sometime next week. Yes.
Those were the worst cars ever. And if you drove
one, you had a tiny penis. Yes. Yes. The Honda
Civic Type R, sporty hatchback. Okay. The Mazda
RX -8. Okay. It actually had a rotary engine
and suicide doors. The doors would open forward.
It did? Yeah. I don't remember that at all, but
wow. Subaru WRX STI. They were real big with
Rally. Yeah. Highest grossing tour of the year
2000. It's going to be interesting. Rolling Stones
Bigger Bang Tour. Number two, Madonna on the
Sticky and Sweet Tour. And number three, U2 on
the Vertigo Tour. Wow. Now, some of those might
have been within the 2000s decade. I asked it
for the year 2000 specifically. Vertigo might
have been 2002 or something. I don't know. But
here's the list of the top songs of the year
2000 according to Billboard magazine. Number
one, Breathe by Faith Hill. Oh, wow. Number two,
Smooth, Santana. Oh, wow. Number three, Maria
Maria, Santana. That was when his album came
out with all his collaborations, Rob Thomas,
The Product. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, the Rob Thomas
song hit really big. Number four, I Wanna Know
by Joe. Oh, wow. Five, Everything You Want by
Vertical Horizon. Very cool. Six, Say My Name,
Destiny's Child. Oh, wow. Before she was Beyoncé.
Way before Beyoncé, yeah. She was just one of
those people in Destiny's Child. Destiny's Child,
yeah. I Knew I Loved You, Savage Garden. Oh,
wow. Amazed, Lone Star. Bent, Matchbox 20. Oh,
wow. Where Rob Thomas came from. He Wasn't Man
Enough, Toni Braxton. Oh, wow. And that's the
top ten. And then in the next ten is Higher by
Creed. Kryptonite, Three Doors Down. There You
Go by Pink. Music, Madonna. Doesn't Really Matter,
Janet Jackson. What a Girl Wants, Christina Aguilera.
A lot of those songs I wasn't really listening
to. No, no, no. I don't think any of those songs
I really listened to. You want to know what the
top ten is? Top ten grossing movies for the year
2000? Yeah, that'll be interesting. All right.
Number one, Mission Impossible 2 from Paramount.
Oh, wow. Worldwide gross, $546 million in change.
For back then? Yeah. Number two, Gladiator from
DreamWorks Universal. Oh, wow. $465 million worldwide.
Whoa. Okay. Number three, Cast Away, 20th Century
Fox and DreamWorks. $429 million. Wow. What Women
Want, Paramount, that Mel Gibson movie. Wow.
374 million. Dinosaur, 349 million. How the Grinch
Stole Christmas, 346 million dollars. Wow. Meet
the Parents, 330 million. The Perfect Storm came
out in 2000. Uh -huh. 328 million. X -Men. 296
million. And then What Lies Beneath, 291 million.
But add up all those millions. I mean, there's
a billion, there's a billion, there's a billion.
There's like $4 billion worth just in those top
10 movies. Wow. They don't do that anymore. I
don't think so. No? No. See, that was back when
people were still physically going to the theater.
spending a bunch of money yeah that's what people
like wanted to you know they wanted to go out
and go to theater but um i mean uh covid changed
a lot of that yeah but it was changing before
then too that's true like oh is it on prime well
let's just watch it on prime let's not you know
yeah home theater started getting so good that
it rivaled the movie theater experience yep you
got your recliner and then you don't hey my fellow
heavy breeders this is dash riptide your music
news Rob Halford, the legendary singer of Judas
Priest, now has his very own action figure on
sale. This is from McFarlane Toys. It sells for
$34 .99, and even Halford's action figure is
taller than Udo Dierksnider. This is Gash Ruktein,
and that was your music news. If it's too loud,
you probably have ear damage, just like me. You
have to pay $10 for a bag of popcorn. And you
can stop the movie to go take a pee. Yes, which
is great. That's a great luxury. That is a great
one. Okay, the sexiest man in the year 2000.
When I typed that in, it came up with one name.
Brad Pitt. Brad Pitt, actor. When I typed in
sexiest woman of 2000. Angelina Jolie. It came
up with 45 names. One man, but 45 women. Yeah.
Okay, so one man and 45 women? Yeah, they wouldn't
pick just one. And while Brad Pitt was listed
as actor, I wrote down the top eight women that
they listed, and all of them are actress slash
something else. It was okay for Brad Pitt to
just be an actor. For these hottest women, just
being an actress wasn't good enough. It was actress
producer, actress soundtrack writer, actress
director. Actress, producer, every single one
of them is listed as some sort of producer, director,
writer, or something else in addition to being
actress. Wow. Talk about fragile ego. Yeah, that's
crazy. So the top hottest actresses of the 2000s,
Scarlett Johansson, actress, producer, Monica
Bellucci, actress, producer, Emily DeRaven, actress,
soundtrack. Alicia Cuthbert, actress -director.
Megan Fox, actress -producer. Eva Mendez, actress
-director. Jessica Biel, actress -producer. Sophia
Bush, actress -producer. So it's okay for a man
to just be an actor. For a woman, it's got to
be, oh, you've got to be this and this and this
and this and this. We've got to mention every
single one of them. You don't surprise me. Trying
too hard. Jennifer Aniston was not on that list.
Nope. And neither was Angelina Jolie. Nope. Wow.
At the time Brad Pitt was married to Jennifer
Aniston, they were newlyweds. Oh, that long ago?
Yeah, that was 2000. Okay, wow. But not even
Jennifer Aniston made the list. Wow. Let's see.
And then let's see. Oh, notable people who passed
away in the year 2000. Tom Fears, football player.
Died in 77. Don Martin, a cartoonist. Remember
Mad Magazine? Mad Magazine, yeah. He's the guy
that had all the floppy feet. The floppy feet
and the big long noses. Yeah. Yeah, that was
Don Martin. He was really good. He was one of
my favorites. Baseball Hall of Fame pitcher Bob
Lemon. Oh, yeah. Who pitched a no -hitter in
48. He played for the Royals. No, he's a manager
for the Royals. Yeah. Back in the 70s, I believe.
Yeah. Lonesome Dave Pevrit, British rock singer
and musician for Foghat and Savoy Brown. Uh -huh.
Derek Thomas, linebacker for the Kansas City
Chiefs. Wow. That was 25 years ago. Wow. Larry
Linville, actor on M .A .S .H. who played Frank
Burns, died of pneumonia following cancer surgery.
Oh, wow. I didn't know what he died from. I guess
I do now. He smoked like crazy. So, kind of figured.
Adam Petty, son of Kyle Petty, died in a practice
section accident at age 19. I don't remember
that at all, do you? Mm -mm. But his death led
NASCAR to mandate a steering wheel kill switch.
Okay. Because apparently he couldn't cut the
engine. Kind of like Earnhardt did the Haunt
device. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. Okay. Michael Cubb Coda,
American singer, rock singer, and songwriter
and guitarist for Brownsville Station, who wrote
Smokin' in the Boys' Room. That was a Brownsville
Station song. Yeah, it sure was. Actor Walter
Matthau. Oh, wow. David Brown, bass player for
Santana during the 70s. Okay. Benjamin Orr, bass
player for the Cars during the 80s. Wow. Jimmy
Davis, American singer and songwriter who wrote
You Are My Sunshine. Wow. Yeah, he died at age
101. Wow. The bass player for Canadian band Loverboy,
Scott Smith, drowned in a sailing accident near
the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco. Oh,
I think I remember that one. Wow. Jeez. Werner
Klemperer, who played Colonel Klink on Hogan's
Heroes. I know nothing. Oh, that was Sergeant
Schultz. Oh, that was. Okay, Klink was... Colonel
Hogan. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Bob Crane
was already dead. I think so. Yeah, yeah, he
was bludgeoned to death. Al Gross, American inventor
who invented the walkie -talkie. He died at age
82. Okay. John Cooper, English race car designer
who started the Cooper car company, the Cooper
Minis. Oh, I didn't know that. He died at age
77. And on New Year's Eve, Eddie Shaver, American
country rock guitarist and songwriter, dies of
a heroin overdose at 38. Oh, wow. You wait until
New Year's Eve to die of a heroin overdose. How
pointless is that? I'm going to go do the next
year like a real man. Anyway, okay. Sports championships
from 2000. Super Bowl 34. Rams. Rams over the
Titans. In the Georgia Dome, MVP Kurt Warner.
Marshall Falk won the regular season MVP award.
Oh, yeah. In the Sugar Bowl, the Florida State
Seminoles won 49 -29 over Virginia Tech Hokies.
Oh, wow. And it's okay to call Florida State
the Seminoles because the Seminole Nation has
given them permission. Yes, that's right. They
worked directly with them, and they said, yep,
you can do it. You can use the likeness of this
person. You can use the name. So nobody tried
to go cancel. Yep. Let's see. So that was the
college championship. Major League Baseball.
They dissolved the National and American Leagues
as separate legal entities, although retaining
them as competitive entities. Okay. Wow. I wonder
why they did that. Probably saved them money.
Yeah, probably. World Series. Yankees win four
games to one over the New York Mets. So an all
-New York World Series. Oh, wow. The Subway Series.
Yep. Derek Jeter was the MVP. In the Japan series,
the Yomiuri Giants defeated the Fukuoka Daihawks
four games to two. Okay. NBA Finals, the Lakers
win their first NBA title in 12 years, defeating
the Indiana Pacers four games to two. Okay. Men's
college basketball, Michigan State wins 89 -76
over Florida. WNBA, Houston Comets win two games
to zero over the New York Liberty. Oh, wow. Okay.
And that was their fourth championship in a row.
Okay. I don't remember that at all. Okay. Let's
see. EuroLeague. Who cares? Here we go. Kostya
Siu. T -S -Z -Y -U. Babel Snatch. Babel Snatch
defeats Julio Cesar Chavez by a knockout in six
rounds. I heard Babel Snatch did that. Yeah.
Babel Snatch was pretty good. He was. Hell of
a right hook. Evander Holyfield defeats John
Rees by a decision in 12 rounds to regain the
WBA's World Heavyweight title. Oh, I remember
John Rees. He was around for a minute. Yeah.
Okay. The Masters Tournament. Was won by Vijay
Singh. I remember him. The U .S. Open was won
by Tiger Woods in 15 shots by 15 shots. A record
for all majors. Oh, yeah. British Open, Tiger
Woods again. Oh, yeah. Back then you couldn't
get away from Tiger Woods. Boy, that was loud.
No, no, no. He was the best. Yeah. Before he
got hit with golf clubs and couldn't play anymore.
PGA Tour Rookie of the Year, Michael Clark II.
I wonder if he's still around. No, I'd say no.
I think he became a female, and now he's Michelle
Clark. Oh, yeah, that's right. Speaking of that,
you remember the Matrix movies are done by the
Wachowski brothers, who became the Wachowski
sisters? Yeah. One of the two has just put out
a new movie with an all -trans cast. Really?
Do you think that's going to go anywhere? No.
I don't think so. No. Let's see. Stanley Cup,
New Jersey Devils win four games to two over
the Dallas Stars. Okay, I do that. You know why?
They used to be the Kansas City Scouts. Yeah,
that's right. I was still pissed. Okay, football
retirements in the year 2000. Troy Aikman, Dallas
Cowboys quarterback. Okay. Bruce Armstrong, O
-tackle for the Patriots. Steve Young, quarterback
for the Niners. Oh, wow. He lasted to 2 ,000?
Yep. Rod Woodson, safety for the Baltimore Ravens.
I remember him as a stealer. Yeah, I do too.
Lorenzo Neal, fullback, New Orleans Saints. I
remember Lorenzo Neal. Didn't remember him being
a fullback. No, I didn't think so, but I guess
so. Okay. Mark Carrier, wide receiver, New York
Jets. Okay. I remember he played for Tampa as
well. Yeah. Yep. Chris Dolman, defensive end,
49ers. Ronnie Lott, safety San Francisco 49ers.
Oh, Ronnie Lott, old dirty Ronnie Lott, Raider.
Yep. And Anthony Munoz, O -tackle Cincinnati
Bengals. I remember him. Yep. All right. This
is going to be enjoyable for me. Buzzwords and
slang terms that were popular in the year 2000.
Mostly influenced by the emergence of the internet.
This is back when the internet was brand new
and nobody had smartphones. Oh yeah, because
everybody had to go to Windows. So here's a breakdown.
Oh, Mac. So Y2K. It was an abbreviation for year
2000. Referring to the Y2K bug. Everything was
going to shut down. The world was going to be
over. Yep, yep. I was working a detail down at
the processing and distribution plant for the
postal service then. Tons of stuff is computer
program driven on that. And they were worried
the entire thing would just crash and burn. Nothing
happened. Not on any of them? No, nothing happened.
I remember they said to shut your computers off.
Yes. Best Buy had a sign. Turn them all off.
Yeah. They were just playing into the fear. Yep.
Remember, what's up? Yeah, yeah. Bud Light or
Budweiser. Budweiser commercial. Yeah. Phrase
used to express something as exciting, cool,
or good, popularized by Paris Hilton. That's
hot. Oh, yeah, yeah. Remember she said that,
oh, that's hot. Yeah. There was always the what's
hot and what's not list. Chillax. Oh, my God.
Remember Chillax? A combination of chill and
relax. Uh -huh. Here's one started by Snoop Dogg.
Faux shizzle. Oh, wow. Back then. Yes, a 25 -year
-old term. Slang for sure. Noob. That one's still
being used to some degree. Yeah. Short for newbie.
Yep. Peeps for people. That's still used a little.
A little bit. Not by anybody cool, but yeah.
Take a chill pill. That was not used for a number
of reasons. Yes. Talk to the hand. Oh, yeah.
God, that dumb one. That was so stupid. Oh, I
know. It's like, how about if I just leave? Yeah.
I'm not going to talk to your hand. A dismissive
phrase indicating you're not listening. Yeah.
Talk to the hand. You got served. Oh, yeah. That
was even a TV show. Was it? It was a TV show,
You Got Served. Oh, that's right. Yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah. It was like a game show almost kind
of deal. Something like that. Yeah, where somebody
talks out and goes, you got served. Yep. The
whole thing was just a setup so they could trot
out that little catchphrase. Yes, you got served.
And it shows somebody there. So I'm supposed
to waste a half hour of my life and look at all
those ads just to hear them say that? No, I don't
think so. I'd rather do dentistry with a fucking...
With a hammer drill. Yeah. Here's another one.
Bling. Or as it originally was, bling bling.
Bling bling, yeah. It was a double. It was a
bling bling. Sketchy. That's been shortened to
sketch. Yeah, now it's sketch. It's suspect.
It's sus. Tight. Tight? As being cool or excellent.
Yeah, that's tight. I remember my kids using
that. It used to be described music, too. Man,
that's tight. That's tight. Mad. To emphasize
something being extra, like very or really. Yes,
mad skills. Yeah. Yep, that's a good one. Mainstream,
referring to the internet or becoming part of
a wider audience. Dot bomb, referred to a failed
dot com company. Oh, yeah, yeah. I actually remember
that one too now. ASL. That was used in chat
rooms. Yes. Especially singles online chat rooms
for age, sex, location. Yes. Yep. IRL for in
real life. That's still used a lot. Yep. BRB
for be right back. They still do use that a little.
But mostly people don't care. It's like, you
know, why am I going to tell them I'm going to
be right back? Maybe I want to take my time.
Yeah. Yep. No, I never committed myself that
much. I just leave. Yeah. Is he coming back?
I don't know. LOL. which, of course, stands for
little old ladies. Yes. And now it's just a pronounced
word, lol. Lol, yeah. You can say, oh, lol. But
always, I never do LOL because it's just so fucking
lame. I just put ha, because that could be really
good or just lame. Yes. Let them figure it out.
Ha! Let's see, dot com bubble. Oh, yeah. Yeah,
that actually referred to an actual event, and
they tried to use it as, like, a general term.
It didn't really work. It didn't parlay. Get
large or get lost. Or get big fast or get lost.
Yeah, okay. That was like, you know, rapid expansion
at the expense of everything. Yeah, that was
a stupid one. Bricks and clicks. Oh, yeah. That
referred to a traditional business that also
had an online presence. That's right, okay. Now
it's like brick and mortar and online. Yeah.
Or cyber. Cyber and brick and mortar. You can
tell them, there's a lot of these, they were
just trying so hard to come up with something
fun. Man, let's get this one to catch on, because
I already got three cases of t -shirts printed
up. Okay, in the year 2000, the Ford F -Series
truck was the best -selling vehicle in the United
States. Other popular cars were the Honda S2000,
the Chrysler 300, which we learned was actually
a BMW. Yeah, yes, we just learned that. No, no,
no, no, no, no. Let's see. This goes down here.
The 300 was popular for its design that blended
classic Chrysler with Bentley. Well, I think
they owned Bentley, too. Oh, yeah. Yeah. In the
year 2000, the fastest home computers typically
featured an Intel Pentium III or AMD Athlon processor
with speeds ranging from... 500 megahertz up
to, wow, 1 gigahertz. 1 gigahertz. The AMD Athlon
was the first chip to reach 1 gigahertz. That
was back in the broadband days. You had to dial
up for broadband. So let's see, the Pentium 3.
Introduced in late 2000, the Pentium 4 was the
next -gen processor, going up to 1 .4 gigahertz.
Wow. Let's see. Graphics cards. 3DFX Voodoo 3
and NVIDIA GeForce 2 were the popular choices
for graphics. And this was back when you had
to buy a sound card for your computer. Oh, wow.
Remember that? When you bought a computer, it
had basic graphics and it had just that one tiny
little built -in speaker that go beep. Yeah,
and that's it. And if you actually wanted to
have real sound, you'd spend more money on an
actual extra computer card that you have to put
it in, and then you'd have to... somehow convince
Windows to accept it and talk to it and deal
with it, which I remember one time took all evening.
Oh, God, yeah. And if you wanted to have any
other input with your computer besides the keyboard,
then you needed an extra card with a gaming port.
If you wanted to communicate by the telephone
lines, you had to add a modem card. Oh, yeah.
Everything was extra. Everything was extra. That's
crazy. That's what I need to find is a modem
sound. I'm going to start putting that in the
podcast. Yep. I saw a TV show where they were
showing the person's heart monitor going to a
flat line, and they played the modem dial -up
sound for some reason. It's like, what the hell?
People's hearts don't make that sound, especially
when they stop. No, they just go... But, yeah,
it was the dial -up modem sound. That's when
they turned flat on. It was all that. It was
like... I've never heard a heart monitor make
that sound. Who's the idiot who thought that
would be a good idea? The reason they call it
flatline is because it's just like... Yeah, that
does not make sense at all. Someone's an idiot.
Let's see, I came up with a list of people that
I'm trying to avoid. Okay. People who are too
gullible because they attract predators. You're
right. Sometimes they're fun, they're funny,
because they'll believe anything, but then you
remember... predators are coming for these people.
And I could get caught in the splash damage,
so bye. Yep, that's a good one. People that are
way too impulsive. Yes, they'll get you in trouble
with it, yeah. Like you're constantly talking
them out of doing something stupid. And in five
minutes they're going to forget they ever wanted
to do it and be on to the next thing. Yeah, yep.
Here's a big one that's really cut down on my
social media feed. People who use hatred and
insults instead of reason. I agree 100%. I get
so sick of that bullshit. Have something to say
or shut up. Don't resort to, yeah. If you want
to type it in, your little missive of hate and
butthurt and anger, go ahead and type it in.
Just don't send it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, to me that's
just ridiculous. There's no room for it. No.
Anyhow. I've missed. There are a lot of people
I went to high school with that are now deleted
because all they've got is hatred. Yeah. People
with constant complaints who take no accountability,
they have no plans, no good way forward, they
just want to complain. True. And they want you
to sit there and listen to it. Yep. Yeah, I'm
all done with those people. They suck the life
right out of you. They're succubuses. Yeah, I
agree. The people who insist that I have to like
what they like and the people who insist I have
to participate in what they like doing. Oh, that's
right. Yeah. You know, if you can't do it on
your own, then don't try to talk anyone else
into it. Those are people that are incredibly
insecure. Yes. They can't stand on their own.
And, you know, I started thinking about that.
Constant reassurance. Remember when we all decided
secondhand smoke was a bad thing? Uh -huh. You
know, if you go out in public and smoke, then
everybody else is kind of forced to participate
against their will, whether they want to or not.
Which was bullshit. Because now they have to
breathe in your smoke. It was bullshit. I agree.
So I think the people who insist that you call
them by certain pronouns or identify them as
a certain gender or sexual preference, I think
they're like secondhand smoke. They're trying
to force me to participate in something that's
their business, their personal, and I don't want
any part of it. I don't want to participate.
No, I agree with that. I don't want to play their
game of whatever they want to be that day. I'm
not in that fantasy land. And we don't have to
be. No, you can do whatever you want. It does
not bother me, and I'm not getting in your way.
But don't make me try to guess what I need to
say to you every day. Yes. It's very irritating.
I just won't deal with you. In a very large way,
they are trying to trap you into participating,
and even if you refuse to say anything, they'll
call you a hater. And then murderism. Yeah, yeah.
I can't believe you did it again. It's like,
oh, shut up. So, trying to avoid those people.
Yes. The people who seek out. The bad things,
the upsetting things. Oh, those people are annoying
as fuck. And then they want to talk about them
endlessly. Yes. A while back, Cindy and I went
out to dinner with a member of her extended family
and her boyfriend. Uh -huh. And this gal talked
endlessly about some aging relative's end of
life and how painful it was and how awful it
was. One note. Yeah, just constantly going on
about all this agony. And this was supposed to
be a birthday dinner for someone at the table
at a restaurant. And she was going on and on
about how much pain he was in and making all
these faces and talking about, oh, the vomiting
and the blood. And I was the only one at the
table who was bothered by it. Everyone else was
like, yeah, whatever. Because they weren't paying
attention to her. Yeah, you're right. They were
just like, whatever. Yeah. But, yeah, that really
bugged me. It's like, we're out here to celebrate
someone's birthday, and this is what you're talking
about. Yeah. Yeah. Eventually, I got up from
the table. Whoever's birthday it was should have
been really upset. It was the girl who was saying
those things. It was her own birthday party?
She was saying that. Oh, my gosh. Eventually,
I got up and I left and went outside in the parking
lot and walked around for about five minutes
because I was just so upset. And then I came
back, and by that time, the subject changed.
Oh, good. I've seen that a couple other times,
is she'll find something, a bad thing to talk
about, and her facial expressions get really
horrific, and she just goes on and on. It's like,
oh, I don't want to hear this. She's like one
note. Yeah. Something bad happens, and she's
got to keep talking about it. I can't stand that.
It's like, look, I mean, bad things happen a
lot. Yeah. You don't dwell on them. You have
to pick yourself up, brush yourself off. and
go on now i remember i used to be a person like
that i used to look for like the most you know
terrible news story or the worst thing that happened
and i couldn't wait to be the first one to tell
people about it yeah and i just realized you
know this is kind of gross you know i don't like
myself doing i've never been like that i i mean
i i get it i've never been like that i've always
been like okay that sucks let's talk about something
else yeah but i get it i you know So three more
people that I try to avoid. The ones who embrace
victimhood and duck any responsibility. Yes,
oh my gosh, yes. It's always like, oh, poor me,
and I can't get a break, and the system's against
me, and it's all set up, and I can't win. There's
martyrs everywhere, and it drives me fucking
nuts, and this also goes into the pronoun thing.
Yeah. Part of that is martyrism. I can't believe
you did it again, and it's like... And that was
the point. They wanted to go out and have a tantrum
and cause a scene, and I tried to stop kicking
your feet. It's a form of control. It's all right.
It's a form of control. I'm going to make this
person call me what I want him to. He's going
to participate in my game. No, no, no, no. Yeah,
they don't get it that we don't have to participate.
Yeah, and you can fully believe whatever you
want to, and you can think whatever you want
to, but you don't have to make me constantly
be a part of it. And seriously, isn't... And
I'm for freedom. You want to do that? That's
fine. Seriously, isn't that a personal issue?
It is. Isn't it between them and whoever they
decide to share it with? Yes. Why are they coming
out in public and insisting everyone has to join
in? No, I don't want to know. No. What's good
enough for me is your name. Yeah. And conversation.
That's it. What's the noise you want me to make
to get your attention? Yeah. It's usually your
name. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. There are a couple people
I just had to end up going, you know, if I'm
going to deal with you, I'm going to call you
by your name. Nothing else. Yeah. That's it.
If it's anything more than that, I'm not partaking.
Now, these last two categories, they're not quite
as difficult to deal with. They're just a waste
of time. Is the boring person. Yeah. They have
nothing to say. Nothing ever happens. I call
them flatliners. Yes. They have screensaver face.
Yeah. Yes. And then there are the people who
are parrots. The only thing they have to tell
you is what they just heard somebody else tell
them. Oh, well, this guy told me this. Well,
I heard this. They don't have any ideas of their
own. They don't believe in anything. They don't
stand for anything. They don't have any passions.
It's just, well, this is what I heard here, and
this is what I heard here, and then they'll give
you every current buzzword and catchphrase. Those
people I like to try to slow down, and I just
go, well, did you check up on that? Is that true?
And they usually don't have anything to say.
They switch the subject. It's like, okay, so
you didn't. Yeah. Another thing you can do is
just get them high, and then they'll slow down.
Yeah, then they'll slow down. Or a baseball bat
to the face. That stops them pretty good, too.
Kicking the nuts. Yeah. If they have nuts. Yeah,
that's true. Thumb in the ass. Yeah, that gets
them. Yeah. Or you can... Egg beater to the balls.
You can take... You can put... Go ahead. The
lady parts. Yeah. You can put someone down to
size by reminding them that the only reason you're
here is because your dad nutted inside your mom.
And just make them think about that. Unless you're
in vitro fertilization, then yeah, that's how
you were created. Yep, you were goo inside a
vagina. That kind of puts us all down to an even
level, doesn't it? Most of you was wasted. Most
of you ran off. Just a little better, you went
in there. Oh, that's horrible, isn't it? That's
just a way to shut someone down. Here's how you...
Oh, another thing about... I just learned another
language. You're still a nut. When a human fetus
is developing, one of the first complete structures
that forms is the butthole. So we're basically
a clump of cells with a butthole. So at one point
in our lives, everyone has been an asshole. And
I think I could see the reasoning in that, yes.
And you know what covers most of the rest of
the developing fetus at that point? What? Breast
tissue. Eventually it recedes and goes into the
fun places. Yep, I agree. But at that point,
you're mostly breast tissue and a butthole. Love
it. It kind of makes sense because from the moment
you're conceived, you start eating. You're receiving
nutrients. Everything that eats has to poop.
So you've got to grow a butthole. Yeah, that's
right. The baby's got to grow a butthole so he
can poop. Just like an old boss of mine, this
guy that used to eat all the time and take shits.
He used to call him a fucking earthworm. Fucking
earthworm over there. All he does is eat and
shit. It is kind of weird to think that. And
then I looked at him, I said, and he probably
fucks himself too. And he walked off shaking
his head. Yeah. We are basically a tunnel. Yes.
You know, from your mouth to your butthole is
one continuous tube. Yep. Yeah, things go through
it all the time. You could swallow a piece of
dental floss and have it come out your butthole
and floss your entire digestive system. I think
that's a great idea. It could be dye floss or
something. We don't so much eat food as we surround
it with our body for a while. That's right. And
then we dump it out the back end when we move
on. Is it reincarnation? It's like a teleporter
that doesn't work right. It comes in as food,
and it goes out as, like, fecal matter. Yeah.
Make your garden grow, though. Yeah, yes, that's
true. Yeah. All right. Should we wrap this shit
show up, I guess? I think we should. We've got
almost two hours. All right. Okay. Hey, everybody,
thank you for listening, man. We really enjoyed
doing this, and you guys listening means everything.
So go fuck yourself.