WEBVTT

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Hey, you fucking derelicts. It's time for the

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Daily Douchebag Pledge. I, Joe or Jane Listener,

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hereby promise to download the show. I, Joe or

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Jane Listener. Hereby promise to grab other people's

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phones, unattended computers, public computers,

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and all of my work computers as well and download

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the show from there. I, Joe or Jane Listener,

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hereby promise to make other people listen. I,

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Joe or Jane Listener, will hereby lie to everyone

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about how quality the show is. I, Joe or Jane

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Listener, promise to make all my family members

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listen and recite the daily douchebag pledge.

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And finally... I, Joe or Jane Listener, hereby

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promise to make the trek to Knobloch, Missouri,

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just to have a selfie with the Knobloch sign.

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Here at Two Douchebags and a Microphone, we don't

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stand behind our journalistic integrity. Go ahead

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and assume we got the story wrong. At least we

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admit it. Not like all those other guys, we can

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and will lie if it makes the story better. Two

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Douchebags and a Microphone. Sometimes Mark appears

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to be in deep thoughts. Usually he is contemplating

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whether to squeeze a toot out or save it up for

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a better place. But I digress. Sometimes he does

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occasionally have a deep thought. Now we look

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in on his brilliance. What if I learned telepathy?

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And then I tried to talk to random people. How

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would I know if they're ignoring me? I guess

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some questions are greater than mankind. And

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now we look in on the adventures of the technical

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explanation guy. Excuse me, my dear sir. Could

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you please put my plain bread in a small countertop

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appliance with heating elements that would spring

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loaded and would brown my bread adequately? Well,

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first off, I'm not a waiter. I'm just a guy over

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there sitting at the table having a drink. Second

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off, are you talking about someone toasting your

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bread? Why, yes. Yes, I am. I'm talking about

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my bread being toasted. Then why don't you just

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ask for your bread to be toasted, you dumb bastard?

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What the hell's wrong with you? So you want proof

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that we love you here at QD Spades and Microphone

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Central? Here's a proof right here. How about

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the drink of the week? Hey, sporty pants. How

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about a black currant margarita? 24 ounces of

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tequila. The best or wow good? 20 ounces cream

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big cassay. 96 ounce big bucket margarita mixer.

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Garnish with lined wheels. Served in a tall pollens

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glass. Combine ingredients with Big Buffy. Stir,

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seal, and open the vent. Freeze and serve. Enjoy,

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poggers. Have at it. Two douchebags, a microphone,

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and an effort to keep everything fresh. We offer

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you First World Problems. I can't believe the

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coffee grinder is broke at the big box store.

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There's no way I can be expected to grind my

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coffee beans every damn morning. Hey, look. I

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think we found land. Oh, my God. I think we're

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safe. Oh, no. It's an island of horrible jokes.

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Elevator music is horrible. On so many levels.

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Your mama's so old, she knew Burger King when

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he was still a prince. Two douchebags and a microphone.

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I'm Mark here in the Kansas City area at the

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Talk is Cheap studio. And I am Rob at the beautiful

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manual arm at Lake of the Ozarks in the Duck

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Blind studio. Thank you, Rob. Our old cat, she's

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like, I don't know, 18, 19 years old, that keeps

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meowing in the background. She has a real, real

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yelling meow because she can't hear now and can't

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see. So she kind of like screams instead of meows.

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I think that she's kind of like our third member.

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Every time I listen to our podcast, I hear her

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three or four times. Yeah, it's like two douchebags

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and a cat. How's that? Mic her up. Mic her up,

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man. As loud as she is, I don't have to. Honestly,

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I've been noticing her in the background. I'm

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listening. I'm chuckling. I'm waiting for people

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to think it's a gag. It don't happen to me. I

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got two dogs in the chat. Well, occasionally

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you hear the dogs going off because somebody's

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walking by and they're like, you know, they're

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10 foot tall whenever someone walks by with their

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dog. You know, they got to out piss them. You

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know, they're dogs. You know, they're defending

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their territory. Yeah, so. Anyhow, I have a rock

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and roll fallacy alert, Rob. Okay. Black Sabbath

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song that's titled N .I .B. is not actually an

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abbreviation for Nativity in Black. How long

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have you heard that? Everybody thought it was.

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This came from Tony Iommi. They named the song

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after Bill Ward's beard. It looked like a pen

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nib. Now, if someone doesn't know what a pen

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nib is, I think you do because you laughed. Yeah.

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Okay. A pen nib, it's one of those old ones that

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you would dip in ink to write. It has that little

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feather looking thing at the end. And I went

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back and I looked at some of the old photos,

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and it did, during that time, he did have a beard

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that looked like a pen nib. And I was like...

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I remember he looked like that. And that's what,

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yeah. Yeah. I got around that where they got

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it. Yes. Yes. And I thought that was excellent.

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And I'm catching up on a lot of different interviews.

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I mean, the Aussie thing, I'm going to go out

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on record and say this, and I really do believe

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this is true. I'm not trying to be sensational

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or nothing like that. I mean, you know, like,

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like a podcast can be sensational, but you know

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what I mean? It's not like we're like over the

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air, you know, and everyone's like driving home

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and going, Oh, what's he going to say? But here,

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Aussie. Osborne is more popular than the Beatles

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were. I really think so. All the people. I think

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so, too. Yeah, all the people, the outpour of

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all different types of people, all different

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ethnics, all different everything. I mean, all

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over the world, rocket scientists to a guy in

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the gutter all love the man. And all of them

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are just like all, you know, they're deeply saddened,

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like me and Davey, you know. We've always said

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this since the terrible thing happened. I mean,

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it's like we lost our best friend, you know.

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We're used to him being there, and we're used

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to his humor and his, you know. It was just,

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he was like a part, he was a fabric of. everything

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that we've known you know so uh anyhow yeah i

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do believe and i and i'm glad to hear you say

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that too because i know you know music the reason

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why i think so is because he did it for so many

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years true okay and to tell the truth the beatles

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was only what four years Yeah, maybe eight. Something

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like that. Yeah, they were. 62 to 66, something

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like that. Yeah, they were breaking up by 68,

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I think. Yeah, yeah. If they would have went

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on, it would have probably been a different story.

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But no, I've got to give this to Ozzy. Me too.

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Because how much he did. He was much bigger than

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Black Sabbath. which is amazing to think of because,

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you know, they invented the genre. So, anyhow.

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Okay, so, Rob, I figured out something here.

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I'm going crazy with the new tools I can use,

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right? I have so many new characters that I keep

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getting them mixed up. I'll start in with a new

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music news segment and get it all finished. And

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I go to listen back, and I realize that I started

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out with Phineas J. Voltaris III and ended up

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with Dash Riptide on the end of it. It sucks

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because it was a great bit, and I forgot what

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it was about. But I put two different people

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on there. I started off, you know, hey, this

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is Phineas J. Voltaris III. And then at the end,

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it's like, this is Dash Riptide. And if you're

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too loud, you probably have ear damage, just

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like me. And I'm like... What the fuck? And I'm

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doing this all the time now. I'm taking characters

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and mixing them up because they have so many.

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I got to figure out a way to like, I don't know.

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Maybe I just need to do less characters. I don't

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know. But yeah, these tools that I have now are

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just so unique and cool to do. It's AI voices

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that I control, that I do. And I'm like a kid

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in a playground coming up with like, hey, how

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about a hillbilly guy? Hey, how about a fast

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-talking salesman? You know what I mean? How

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about a, you know, a professor? You know, like

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the technical explanation guy sounds like a,

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I don't know, like an uppity English guy, right?

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Yeah, but I don't know. I keep mixing them up,

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and anyhow, I love doing this, but I think I'm

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going to have to narrow them down because...

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I don't know, either that or maybe pay more attention.

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I guess I was kind of tired the couple times

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that I did that, but anyhow. So, I've got something

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here. It's a little sad here, and it's also outraging,

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but I want to get into it a little bit. Is that

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okay, Rob? Yeah, that's fine. Okay. A cop in

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Wyandotte County was killed, sadly, by a piece

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of garbage, in my opinion. The scum had a rap

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sheet something like this. Sean Harris, 38. have

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been charged, and this is all from online on

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different news outlets, so I believe it, you

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know, and like I'm saying, allegedly and all

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of that, has been charged with capital murder

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and criminal possession of a weapon by a felon

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in connection with a fatal shooting of Wyandotte

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County Sheriff's Department, Aliyah Ming. According

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to online documents from the state of Kansas,

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Harris has a criminal history in Wyandotte County

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and spent over a decade in the Kansas Department

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of Corrections. He was released from prison on

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December 11, 2024. Prior to this incident, Harris

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had three prior convictions in Wyandotte County.

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Theft stemming from an incident in 2011, attempted

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aggravated battery from an incident in February

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2012 involving a gun inside a Waffle House, aggravated

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battery, and a conviction from an incident in

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May 2012 where he and others took a Ford Mustang

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and a credit card and Harris possessed a firearm.

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Additionally, during this period, Harris faced

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in Lafayette County, Missouri, including felony

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tampering with a motor vehicle and felony damage

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to jail and jail property, for which he received

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sentences running concurrently with his Kansas

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sentence. Following his arrest in connection

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with Deputy Ming's death, Harris was released

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from the hospital on July 27, 2025, and booked

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into the Johnson County Jail on suspicion of

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capital murder of a law enforcement officer.

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Formal charges are pending, and I just heard

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on the news at 5 o 'clock that the charges have

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already been served. So here's where I'm going

00:12:51.129 --> 00:12:54.610
with this, and you tell me what you think about

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this idea, and I don't know why we don't do it.

00:12:56.730 --> 00:12:58.470
Okay, number one, this guy should have never

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been out, right? Right, right. No, he should

00:13:04.370 --> 00:13:07.190
not have been. Yeah. Yeah, he should have never

00:13:07.190 --> 00:13:10.610
been out. But since we have a system like this

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that allows things like that to happen. So, okay.

00:13:16.870 --> 00:13:18.970
So I'm sick of these law enforcement agents getting

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shot by criminals that should never been set

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free in the first place. But my idea is this,

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Rob. How about drones that go into a situation

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like this first? A drone with a taser and live

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bullets. My idea is you pick your punishment.

00:13:34.799 --> 00:13:36.639
If you're simply running from the police and

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you get tased by the drone, okay, so be it. However,

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you start shooting, so does the drone. Right.

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I'm serious. I would never make fun of a tragedy

00:13:48.059 --> 00:13:52.279
like this. Yes. I don't know why I think this

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could work. We send drones into caves to kill

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terrorists. Why can't we do that? I don't get

00:13:59.340 --> 00:14:02.220
it. They have weather drones. They have everything.

00:14:02.279 --> 00:14:04.779
They have drones that they fly into tornadoes.

00:14:05.919 --> 00:14:10.379
Well, you know why? Why? I can tell you why.

00:14:10.539 --> 00:14:14.080
Yeah, please. That would put a lot of people

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out of work. A lot of police officers out of

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work. Well, they're already doing RoboCop in

00:14:21.159 --> 00:14:24.840
some Briarwood shopping center near Raytown there,

00:14:24.919 --> 00:14:29.850
or I think it is in Raytown. They have a... RoboCop,

00:14:29.870 --> 00:14:32.889
I reported on, remember? He's out there. Yeah,

00:14:32.889 --> 00:14:36.490
you did. Yeah. I mean, I think... For security,

00:14:36.750 --> 00:14:40.409
I can understand the actual officers. Well, the

00:14:40.409 --> 00:14:43.830
officers will still be out there. The officers

00:14:43.830 --> 00:14:46.110
still can be out there. I mean, you know, they

00:14:46.110 --> 00:14:48.509
can be doing... There's so much stuff going on.

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I'm pretty sure there's... Don't you think there'll

00:14:50.610 --> 00:14:52.570
still be enough need for them? I mean, I don't

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know. Anyhow, well, I... It doesn't also be plenty

00:14:57.289 --> 00:15:04.500
of paperwork after. Yeah. Drone goes into building.

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Dude starts shooting a drone. Drone blasts him.

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Drone leaves. Drone flies by. Gives a green light.

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That means there's a corpse there waiting for

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him. There you go. I love it. I love that idea.

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Yeah, green light means corner. It would keep

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our men and women in blue shape. Yes, I'm getting

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tired of this. And then another cop was killed

00:15:31.029 --> 00:15:35.429
in New York. I mean, it's getting ridiculous.

00:15:35.529 --> 00:15:36.990
It's getting to where no one's going to do that

00:15:36.990 --> 00:15:41.070
job. What we're going to have is the Wild West.

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The people that are smart enough to carry guns

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and the victims. I mean, I don't know what else

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to say. Well, while we're speaking about prisons,

00:15:52.120 --> 00:15:54.220
a little bit more lighthearted, a prison close

00:15:54.220 --> 00:15:56.360
to Birmingham, England, is letting the prisoners

00:15:56.360 --> 00:15:59.559
stencil Ozzy on their jumpsuits as an honor to

00:15:59.559 --> 00:16:04.419
the Prince of Darkness. I think that's cooler

00:16:04.419 --> 00:16:07.980
than hell. Why not, man? Why not? And it'll also

00:16:07.980 --> 00:16:09.720
lift their spirits in there. They're all walking

00:16:09.720 --> 00:16:11.179
around with Ozzy on their back. They're like,

00:16:11.240 --> 00:16:14.539
hell yeah, man! So, I thought that was pretty

00:16:14.539 --> 00:16:21.000
cool. So, there was... crazy train throughout

00:16:21.000 --> 00:16:25.179
the prison. Some crazy shit might happen, right?

00:16:25.419 --> 00:16:29.159
Might be a riot. Might be a riot. Oh yeah, I

00:16:29.159 --> 00:16:30.820
could still hear that song and want to break

00:16:30.820 --> 00:16:36.080
shit. Hell yeah. I'm going to smash out windows

00:16:36.080 --> 00:16:42.620
and scream, Metal, bitch, metal! So there was

00:16:42.620 --> 00:16:45.440
at last count at least 30 billboards in America

00:16:45.440 --> 00:16:48.539
saluting Ozzy. that radio stations have paid

00:16:48.539 --> 00:16:51.240
for themselves. This is because of their love

00:16:51.240 --> 00:16:55.580
for the man. Over 30, there's over 30 of them.

00:16:55.720 --> 00:16:59.399
These billboards are not cheap. Most of these

00:16:59.399 --> 00:17:01.419
stations have explained that his kindness and

00:17:01.419 --> 00:17:03.659
ability to make them laugh and smile was not

00:17:03.659 --> 00:17:06.880
forgotten and they wanted to honor the man. Is

00:17:06.880 --> 00:17:12.900
that not something? Yeah. I posted one the other

00:17:12.900 --> 00:17:16.730
day. Oh, you did too. Yeah, I knew someone else

00:17:16.730 --> 00:17:19.569
did. I couldn't remember who. Yeah. I posted

00:17:19.569 --> 00:17:23.470
one the other day. Yes. I didn't know that it

00:17:23.470 --> 00:17:26.630
was up to 30 now. That's cool. Yeah, yeah, up

00:17:26.630 --> 00:17:29.490
to 30. I think there's actually more than that

00:17:29.490 --> 00:17:31.569
because this was like a couple of days ago when

00:17:31.569 --> 00:17:33.769
I got this information. So I bet you it's more

00:17:33.769 --> 00:17:38.940
than 30. So I'm going to go on from that. We've

00:17:38.940 --> 00:17:41.339
talked about Ozzy a lot, and we all know we love

00:17:41.339 --> 00:17:44.259
the guy, and it's too bad he's gone, but I'm

00:17:44.259 --> 00:17:46.259
glad he's not in pain, and so are you, right?

00:17:46.339 --> 00:17:48.839
Because we cared about the guy, right? Now, I've

00:17:48.839 --> 00:17:52.579
got an email that is extremely poignant about

00:17:52.579 --> 00:17:55.220
Ozzy, and we're going to go into it a little

00:17:55.220 --> 00:17:58.259
bit later. I think you're going to find this

00:17:58.259 --> 00:18:06.039
classic. I'll just put it like that. Okay, so

00:18:06.039 --> 00:18:08.539
it's not just the White Lotus thing. A growing

00:18:08.539 --> 00:18:10.940
number of resorts and retreats are asking their

00:18:10.940 --> 00:18:13.420
guests to put their digital devices away during

00:18:13.420 --> 00:18:20.059
their stay. When Ophelia Wu went to Ermito in

00:18:20.059 --> 00:18:23.359
Italy, she was hoping for a stress -free experience.

00:18:24.099 --> 00:18:27.380
I was living a hectic lifestyle in London, and

00:18:27.380 --> 00:18:29.759
I found it overwhelming, she said. I needed a

00:18:29.759 --> 00:18:32.640
break. I heard about this former monastery in

00:18:32.640 --> 00:18:37.430
Eubria. Or it's actually Umbria. Umbria. That's

00:18:37.430 --> 00:18:40.269
it. Umbria. And I was curious about it. She booked

00:18:40.269 --> 00:18:42.609
a three -night stay at the hotel, which has no

00:18:42.609 --> 00:18:45.329
Wi -Fi or phone signal. Kind of like you, Rob,

00:18:45.509 --> 00:18:49.549
down there at the... Yeah. Was it not good, though?

00:18:49.630 --> 00:18:51.890
Was it not great not to have a phone near you

00:18:51.890 --> 00:18:53.829
and not to have to worry about it dinging or

00:18:53.829 --> 00:18:58.250
who's doing what? Well, when you have not but

00:18:58.250 --> 00:19:18.819
a budget. Yes. In that part. And you didn't see

00:19:18.819 --> 00:19:29.990
it? Oh, okay, cool. Pretty much is, isn't it?

00:19:30.549 --> 00:19:35.269
No wonder I was drooling all weekend. No wonder

00:19:35.269 --> 00:19:39.170
you came back so chipper. Hell yeah. Well, see,

00:19:39.329 --> 00:19:44.549
the thing is, I'm looking around. I'm getting

00:19:44.549 --> 00:19:47.690
old, man. I'm getting old. I'm looking around.

00:19:47.789 --> 00:19:50.369
These girls that I remember, I've been writing

00:19:50.369 --> 00:19:55.190
a heart of back in the day. They ain't going

00:19:55.190 --> 00:19:59.569
to look at this 56 -year -old man. Well, I'm

00:19:59.569 --> 00:20:05.089
an old man. They're in their 20s. Back when I

00:20:05.089 --> 00:20:08.730
was single, before Val, I tried my hand at a

00:20:08.730 --> 00:20:12.170
couple of younger ladies. And I have nothing

00:20:12.170 --> 00:20:17.309
in common with them. Nothing. So you get out

00:20:17.309 --> 00:20:21.809
on a date and you just kind of go, do you want

00:20:21.809 --> 00:20:25.220
fish? Do you want a chicken or do you want steak?

00:20:25.799 --> 00:20:30.839
Oh, it doesn't matter. You know, it's I mean,

00:20:30.960 --> 00:20:34.160
it's really weird. But, you know, when you get

00:20:34.160 --> 00:20:36.200
older, you're not trying to throw game. You're

00:20:36.200 --> 00:20:38.980
trying to get to know them. You know, it's a

00:20:38.980 --> 00:20:42.000
completely. Yeah, it's trying. Yes, it's a completely

00:20:42.000 --> 00:20:46.740
different element. So to me, not only would I

00:20:46.740 --> 00:20:49.380
think of like my stepdaughters and feel like

00:20:49.380 --> 00:20:53.069
a creepy old man, but also. I would think this

00:20:53.069 --> 00:20:56.269
right here. I would think, what in the hell do

00:20:56.269 --> 00:20:59.250
I have to say to her? You know, hey, you never

00:20:59.250 --> 00:21:01.210
put Sharpies on your lip, did you? Like those

00:21:01.210 --> 00:21:07.970
other Z idiots, did you? You know. So anyhow,

00:21:08.190 --> 00:21:14.630
and she goes, do you? Yeah. Yeah. Did you ever

00:21:14.630 --> 00:21:18.809
carry a gun? Yeah, I'm out. So, you know. Yeah.

00:21:18.930 --> 00:21:22.559
So anyhow, so this lady, she said. Wait a second.

00:21:22.660 --> 00:21:25.220
Wait a second. Oh, whoa, whoa. Okay. I got to

00:21:25.220 --> 00:21:28.279
back you up on that one. Yeah. If she's a country

00:21:28.279 --> 00:21:31.140
girl, she's allowed to carry a gun. Oh, no, you're

00:21:31.140 --> 00:21:33.960
right. You're right. Absolutely. How could I

00:21:33.960 --> 00:21:35.400
forget that? If she's a country girl, she's allowed

00:21:35.400 --> 00:21:40.240
to carry a gun. Okay. I know how to use it. Okay.

00:21:44.900 --> 00:21:48.920
Just saying. No, no, no. Dude, I lived in the

00:21:48.920 --> 00:21:53.140
sticks for... You are. I lived in the sticks

00:21:53.140 --> 00:21:55.380
for years. I know this, and I know you did, too.

00:21:55.539 --> 00:21:57.740
You know what I'm talking about. Hell, yeah.

00:21:57.900 --> 00:22:01.079
A chick could come up and grab that fucking .30

00:22:01.079 --> 00:22:02.640
-aught right off of you and go, give me that.

00:22:03.680 --> 00:22:07.819
Fuck. Watch this. And she, you know, I mean,

00:22:07.880 --> 00:22:11.500
she'd take a .22. Oh, what? Yeah, all of them

00:22:11.500 --> 00:22:14.079
are nicknamed Dead Eye Jones. Dead Eye Jones,

00:22:14.259 --> 00:22:16.799
yep. They'll shoot an apple off your shoulder

00:22:16.799 --> 00:22:21.059
while you squirm. Yeah. Yeah, yep. Yeah, he'll

00:22:21.059 --> 00:22:24.900
take a .22 and place that bullet right through

00:22:24.900 --> 00:22:27.579
the middle of that apple every time. And while

00:22:27.579 --> 00:22:30.519
wearing Daisy Dukes and cowboy boots. Right?

00:22:31.720 --> 00:22:35.579
Yes. Yeah. Yeah, and people thought guys in the

00:22:35.579 --> 00:22:37.880
country didn't have it. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:22:37.980 --> 00:22:40.559
Yeah, there were some Daisy Dukes around. Yeah,

00:22:40.559 --> 00:22:43.480
guys in the country got it good. Yeah, oh yeah,

00:22:43.599 --> 00:22:48.400
yep, yep. I was getting ready to say that. They

00:22:48.400 --> 00:22:50.500
can throw an omelet up there, omelet and taters,

00:22:50.500 --> 00:22:53.299
like nobody in the fucking world. You wake up

00:22:53.299 --> 00:22:55.200
and go, hey, is that an omelet and taters? I

00:22:55.200 --> 00:23:00.980
smell why it sure is. Oh, yeah, hell yeah. So,

00:23:01.039 --> 00:23:07.799
anyhow, where was I? I know we did. Okay, so

00:23:07.799 --> 00:23:11.039
this lady stayed the night in a hotel, no Wi

00:23:11.039 --> 00:23:14.440
-Fi phone signal, no tech or no TVs, just brick

00:23:14.440 --> 00:23:17.779
walls, basic bedrooms, and candlelight. The buzz

00:23:17.779 --> 00:23:20.359
of bumblebees replaced the buzz of her notifications.

00:23:21.279 --> 00:23:23.680
When I left, I was reluctant to turn my phone

00:23:23.680 --> 00:23:26.299
back on, she said. I got used to the peace of

00:23:26.299 --> 00:23:30.059
being unbothered and the lack of urgency. She's

00:23:30.059 --> 00:23:32.579
not alone. Offline travel is one of the trends

00:23:32.579 --> 00:23:35.440
of the year so far. According to 2025 Hilton

00:23:35.440 --> 00:23:40.180
Trends report, 27 % of adults planning to travel

00:23:40.180 --> 00:23:44.059
say they intend to reduce social media use during

00:23:44.059 --> 00:23:47.579
their holidays. Echoing this interest, global

00:23:47.579 --> 00:23:52.640
luxury home rental platform Plume Guide has seen

00:23:52.640 --> 00:23:57.559
a 17 % rise in searches for unplugged tech light

00:23:57.559 --> 00:24:02.059
properties. In Mexico, The luxury Grand Veloce

00:24:02.059 --> 00:24:07.299
is, and my papers are sticking together, so forgive

00:24:07.299 --> 00:24:10.259
me, please. Resorts has launched a digital detox

00:24:10.259 --> 00:24:13.779
program that would not be out of place on the

00:24:13.779 --> 00:24:17.059
White Lotus, complete with a detox concierge

00:24:17.059 --> 00:24:20.420
to whisk away all electronic devices on arrival.

00:24:20.640 --> 00:24:23.140
So they take them from you, Rob. So you don't

00:24:23.140 --> 00:24:27.539
have a choice. They're like, what? Your phone.

00:24:28.400 --> 00:24:30.960
What? Yeah, yeah, yeah, your phone. Give me that.

00:24:31.559 --> 00:24:34.920
Now get out of here. Go to your room. So, while

00:24:34.920 --> 00:24:37.700
it has become the norm to use tech to facilitate

00:24:37.700 --> 00:24:41.519
travel logistics, bookings, check -ins, and itineraries,

00:24:41.640 --> 00:24:43.920
I would never book anything if it wasn't for

00:24:43.920 --> 00:24:48.200
the internet, Rob. I swear. I mean, I find it

00:24:48.200 --> 00:24:51.990
so convenient. I mean, you know. So, when it

00:24:51.990 --> 00:24:54.230
starts to play a starring role in holiday experience,

00:24:54.410 --> 00:24:56.430
it can feel like the opposite of getting away

00:24:56.430 --> 00:24:59.329
from it all. According to It's Time to Log Off,

00:24:59.549 --> 00:25:02.230
the average person spends a day each week online,

00:25:02.450 --> 00:25:05.670
and 34 % of people have checked Facebook in the

00:25:05.670 --> 00:25:09.750
last 10 minutes. 62 % of polled adults say they

00:25:09.750 --> 00:25:12.289
hate how much time they spend on their phones.

00:25:13.079 --> 00:25:15.779
Martin Dunfield is the founder and CEO of Cool

00:25:15.779 --> 00:25:18.640
Places, a website that has curated hotels, B

00:25:18.640 --> 00:25:21.819
&Bs, pubs, and self -catered accommodations across

00:25:21.819 --> 00:25:26.220
the UK since 2012. We used to have a tag to show

00:25:26.220 --> 00:25:29.099
which properties have Wi -Fi, he said. Now we're

00:25:29.099 --> 00:25:32.839
adding a no Wi -Fi tag. There's more, but there's

00:25:32.839 --> 00:25:37.259
really no reason to get into that. I got the

00:25:37.259 --> 00:25:42.210
gist of it right there. there's this place that

00:25:42.210 --> 00:25:43.990
Val and I are going to go for my birthday, okay?

00:25:44.069 --> 00:25:48.210
It's Somerset Winery. You know where Paola, Kansas

00:25:48.210 --> 00:25:51.529
is, right? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I know right where

00:25:51.529 --> 00:25:54.809
Paola is. Okay, on 68 Highway before... What

00:25:54.809 --> 00:25:58.569
time in Paola? Paola's a cool town. I mean, the

00:25:58.569 --> 00:26:00.750
square there is hopping on a Saturday night,

00:26:00.869 --> 00:26:05.069
is it not? Oh, God. Oh, it was back in the 80s.

00:26:05.289 --> 00:26:07.250
Oh, God, yeah. There's wall -to -wall fucking

00:26:07.250 --> 00:26:15.680
strays everywhere. So, So, anyhow, Somerset is

00:26:15.680 --> 00:26:18.420
out there near Paola, but it's on 68 Highway

00:26:18.420 --> 00:26:22.559
before you get to 169, okay? But it's a Paola

00:26:22.559 --> 00:26:25.539
address, so it's past Lewisburg before you get

00:26:25.539 --> 00:26:27.579
to Paola, but it's a Paola address, and it's

00:26:27.579 --> 00:26:30.400
down south on a country road, Somerset Road,

00:26:30.660 --> 00:26:33.819
okay? So, I don't believe you get cell phone

00:26:33.819 --> 00:26:37.730
service there. And if I understand correctly,

00:26:37.930 --> 00:26:39.690
you leave all your information at the front,

00:26:39.690 --> 00:26:42.150
and you give people their number, their number

00:26:42.150 --> 00:26:44.789
that they can call 24 hours, if I understand

00:26:44.789 --> 00:26:47.470
this correctly, and that's how you do it. So

00:26:47.470 --> 00:26:51.460
if there's an emergency, they go, Call 241, the

00:26:51.460 --> 00:26:55.240
Wallaces, and tell them that there's someone

00:26:55.240 --> 00:26:57.119
that wants to speak to them, and then they tell

00:26:57.119 --> 00:26:59.160
you if something's going on, right? But other

00:26:59.160 --> 00:27:01.000
than that, I don't believe your phones work out

00:27:01.000 --> 00:27:02.720
there, and I think that's going to be fantastic.

00:27:03.779 --> 00:27:06.220
Yeah, yeah, so you're covered if you have an

00:27:06.220 --> 00:27:08.619
emergency. So to me, that's the only thing I'm

00:27:08.619 --> 00:27:12.619
really worried about. What about you? Yeah, like

00:27:12.619 --> 00:27:14.240
something really happened, and you're like...

00:27:19.960 --> 00:27:23.940
I enjoyed the hell out of myself. But to be honest,

00:27:24.099 --> 00:27:27.900
in the back of my head, I'm thinking, okay, is

00:27:27.900 --> 00:27:32.079
everything, is my son okay? Is my daughter okay?

00:27:32.420 --> 00:27:37.039
Is my son okay? Is my dogs okay? You know. Yeah.

00:27:37.059 --> 00:27:41.859
Yeah. Get it? Yeah. Yep. I'm just out there for

00:27:41.859 --> 00:27:44.839
fun, eh? Like I'm stranded out there. And at

00:27:44.839 --> 00:27:52.880
this point, I was. Yeah. Well, actually, I had

00:27:52.880 --> 00:28:00.319
to go back out of NRO Park and down the road

00:28:00.319 --> 00:28:04.359
a little bit before I picked up signal. Wow.

00:28:05.039 --> 00:28:08.019
I find that surprising because it's been like

00:28:08.019 --> 00:28:09.859
that for a long time. I think they do that on

00:28:09.859 --> 00:28:16.579
purpose, don't you? No, I think it's the valley

00:28:16.579 --> 00:28:20.059
that they're... Oh, is it the valley? Okay. Oh,

00:28:20.119 --> 00:28:24.579
dude, yeah. If you go down there, make sure you

00:28:24.579 --> 00:28:27.440
have a decent vehicle because you go down a gravel

00:28:27.440 --> 00:28:30.319
hill at a very steep angle and there's a couple

00:28:30.319 --> 00:28:33.319
curves in it. Oh, you're at that part of it.

00:28:33.359 --> 00:28:35.500
What you've got to remember is you've got to

00:28:35.500 --> 00:28:39.119
get back up out of there. I used my head. I reached

00:28:39.119 --> 00:28:44.029
down. I hit four high. I locked her in four high.

00:28:44.049 --> 00:28:46.130
You locked her in four high. You'll be okay.

00:28:46.390 --> 00:28:50.329
Okay, there's the first part of it to it, and

00:28:50.329 --> 00:28:52.490
you're talking about that part. Yeah, that part.

00:28:52.569 --> 00:28:54.869
I understand no signal at all. Yeah, I'm going

00:28:54.869 --> 00:28:58.630
down that big hill. As you come in at the first

00:28:58.630 --> 00:29:02.990
office, there's campgrounds down below and where

00:29:02.990 --> 00:29:06.549
you go to put in the water. You know, that's

00:29:06.549 --> 00:29:08.970
where you get on your canoes and stuff, and there's

00:29:08.970 --> 00:29:12.250
a store down below. That's where we were. Okay,

00:29:12.289 --> 00:29:16.470
okay. We had to drive down that big gravel hill.

00:29:17.190 --> 00:29:20.190
Yeah, yeah. You've got to know how to drive gravel

00:29:20.190 --> 00:29:22.269
because you're coming up that steep -ass hill

00:29:22.269 --> 00:29:25.069
and you've got to turn a sharp corner at the

00:29:25.069 --> 00:29:28.490
top. You've got to know how to do it, dude. Yes,

00:29:28.529 --> 00:29:30.529
you're on the other side of the... You lay into

00:29:30.529 --> 00:29:36.910
it and you do like the movie Cars. Yeah. Turn

00:29:36.910 --> 00:29:42.079
left, you go right. You're actually on the Niagawa

00:29:42.079 --> 00:29:44.440
River and not Bennett Springs. You're down there.

00:29:44.480 --> 00:29:47.519
I get what you're saying. Wow. Yeah, we were

00:29:47.519 --> 00:29:53.420
down in our old campground. Cool. It's well known

00:29:53.420 --> 00:29:56.380
down here. Oh, no, I've been there before, but

00:29:56.380 --> 00:29:58.460
I know what part you're talking about. And that

00:29:58.460 --> 00:30:03.059
was at the time I was with actually a girl that

00:30:03.059 --> 00:30:06.460
I used to see that lived in Camdington for a

00:30:06.460 --> 00:30:08.519
while. You told me about her. Yeah, she worked,

00:30:08.660 --> 00:30:11.500
well, she was part of the National Guard, and

00:30:11.500 --> 00:30:13.519
I guess there's some armory around there somewhere?

00:30:15.240 --> 00:30:20.700
Yeah. Okay. Well, anyhow, she went down there

00:30:20.700 --> 00:30:26.319
actually to go pick up her kid because her ex

00:30:26.319 --> 00:30:29.680
was down there, like, glamping and canoeing.

00:30:30.140 --> 00:30:32.440
And she goes, I've got to go get my kid. And

00:30:32.440 --> 00:30:35.119
I'm like, where's he at? Well, he's down on the

00:30:35.119 --> 00:30:37.839
springs or the river. I'm like, what? Yeah, yeah,

00:30:37.859 --> 00:30:40.240
yeah. So, yeah, I know what you're talking about.

00:30:40.339 --> 00:30:43.920
I've been down there. So, all right, Rob, we're

00:30:43.920 --> 00:30:45.680
going to go into what you want to talk about.

00:30:47.680 --> 00:30:54.039
Okay, I found this interesting story. And Thomas

00:30:54.039 --> 00:30:59.500
has a relationship. I'm just going to read it.

00:31:02.070 --> 00:31:05.250
You know we really don't talk enough about how

00:31:05.250 --> 00:31:10.930
humbling it is to have children. Sure they have

00:31:10.930 --> 00:31:13.650
us digging super deep to find the strength to

00:31:13.650 --> 00:31:17.730
carry on when we're sick and tired. Seasoned

00:31:17.730 --> 00:31:19.890
parents will tell you how much they've looked

00:31:19.890 --> 00:31:23.069
inward and grown in order to become the best

00:31:23.069 --> 00:31:34.839
version of themselves after having kids. Uh -huh.

00:31:35.799 --> 00:31:53.759
Uh -huh. Uh -huh. He didn't usually allow toys

00:31:53.759 --> 00:31:56.599
or some things to go to school just to avoid

00:31:56.599 --> 00:32:00.660
the chance of losing it or any tantrums when

00:32:00.660 --> 00:32:05.339
he's expected to share. What's this, baby, I

00:32:05.339 --> 00:32:09.099
said. This is mine from home, my son tells me.

00:32:10.400 --> 00:32:13.779
But this wasn't just any special thing from home.

00:32:14.900 --> 00:32:18.819
This was my underwear, a G -string of all kinds.

00:32:22.890 --> 00:32:27.269
I'm absolutely mortified as I notice the educator

00:32:27.269 --> 00:32:34.690
grin next to me. Yeah, Angus has been super proud

00:32:34.690 --> 00:32:40.809
of that all day, she laughs. Oh my God, no. Because

00:32:40.809 --> 00:32:44.549
not only is this G -string feral, but it's got

00:32:44.549 --> 00:32:51.819
a bleach -stained crotch. Oh! This situation

00:32:51.819 --> 00:32:56.900
honestly can't get any worse. I go to pick up

00:32:56.900 --> 00:33:00.559
my youngest from his daycare room, and I'm greeted

00:33:00.559 --> 00:33:03.579
by similar grins from the educators in there.

00:33:04.220 --> 00:33:07.900
We're just spread fast. I'm trying to laugh it

00:33:07.900 --> 00:33:11.680
off, but I'm mortified. The next day, I tell

00:33:11.680 --> 00:33:15.400
my husband, please check his bag, and my husband

00:33:15.400 --> 00:33:19.079
assures me he definitely has the coast clear.

00:33:19.779 --> 00:33:23.140
So imagine the horror when I go in that afternoon

00:33:23.140 --> 00:33:26.440
to collect the boys and find out he had done

00:33:26.440 --> 00:33:33.339
it again. The kid is the Houdini of G -Bangers.

00:33:34.420 --> 00:33:38.500
Where is he even getting them from? His beautiful

00:33:38.500 --> 00:33:43.480
young educator tells me, with glee, that he went

00:33:43.480 --> 00:33:47.559
over to her at story time and stretched it over

00:33:47.559 --> 00:33:52.289
her legs. Knee to knee while she was sitting

00:33:52.289 --> 00:33:58.289
cross -legged. This cannot get worse, can it?

00:33:59.650 --> 00:34:03.609
Yes. Because when we get home, I have another

00:34:03.609 --> 00:34:07.549
talk with Angus about taking things that aren't

00:34:07.549 --> 00:34:11.530
mine. When I ask where he got it from, he tells

00:34:11.530 --> 00:34:14.030
me he took it out of the dirty clothes basket.

00:34:17.319 --> 00:34:45.329
Oh, man. Oh, my gosh. You know... Oh, man. This

00:34:45.329 --> 00:34:48.949
is the God's honest truth. I'll tell you the

00:34:48.949 --> 00:34:52.750
guy's name off the podcast because you know him.

00:34:53.150 --> 00:34:57.230
Maybe you were there. I don't know. But his mom

00:34:57.230 --> 00:35:00.769
left to go somewhere for a couple of days, and

00:35:00.769 --> 00:35:03.250
she left him in charge of his younger sister

00:35:03.250 --> 00:35:10.070
and the whole place. So we were up in her bedroom.

00:35:10.699 --> 00:35:12.860
And someone lifted up the mattress and there

00:35:12.860 --> 00:35:20.039
were three huge dildos. And he was like, oh,

00:35:20.260 --> 00:35:25.559
oh, my God. And we're like, dude, probably all

00:35:25.559 --> 00:35:27.920
our moms do that. You know, we just we don't

00:35:27.920 --> 00:35:30.880
want to know that. We're sorry. But yeah. And

00:35:30.880 --> 00:35:33.159
then a couple of the guys that were there took

00:35:33.159 --> 00:35:34.820
him out and started sword fighting with him.

00:35:38.280 --> 00:35:46.119
Meanwhile. Yes. Yes. And meanwhile, our our friend

00:35:46.119 --> 00:35:48.480
was like, put him down. That was probably in

00:35:48.480 --> 00:35:51.860
my mom. My God, guys, come on. We're like, no.

00:35:54.739 --> 00:35:57.940
Oh, yeah. Yeah. OK, just so everybody knows,

00:35:58.139 --> 00:36:03.329
we. We tell everybody our lives were like a typical

00:36:03.329 --> 00:36:06.869
80s movie back then. Yes. Our lives really were.

00:36:07.170 --> 00:36:09.690
Yeah, no kidding. We really lived that. For real.

00:36:10.030 --> 00:36:13.769
All that crazy shit we did times 10. Well, that's

00:36:13.769 --> 00:36:16.730
the way life was back then. Yeah. Oh, gosh. And

00:36:16.730 --> 00:36:19.130
all the pranks that we used to play. Oh, man.

00:36:19.650 --> 00:36:24.250
Oh, my God. I mean, I've got to, like, find some

00:36:24.250 --> 00:36:26.230
of those pranks. I think Topher has them, like,

00:36:26.369 --> 00:36:30.619
re... reanimate them or whatever, redo them or

00:36:30.619 --> 00:36:33.139
something, and put them in like I did the other

00:36:33.139 --> 00:36:37.239
day when I was asked to put in the phone calls,

00:36:37.420 --> 00:36:41.199
the phone pranks. I took that bit that Topher

00:36:41.199 --> 00:36:43.780
gave me and put it in there for, I think it was

00:36:43.780 --> 00:36:48.539
for Ronnie and Tulsa, wasn't it? Yeah. Yeah,

00:36:48.559 --> 00:36:51.860
I need more of those. I think it was Ronnie and

00:36:51.860 --> 00:36:59.219
Tulsa. Yeah, the Tulsa King. Yes. I need to get

00:36:59.219 --> 00:37:01.920
more of those. There are so many pranks that

00:37:01.920 --> 00:37:04.300
I played. And instead of telling them all, I

00:37:04.300 --> 00:37:07.360
just got to find the bit. Because you can't do

00:37:07.360 --> 00:37:10.139
like the first one. I mean, Topher's over there

00:37:10.139 --> 00:37:12.639
just dying laughing. And people are walking by

00:37:12.639 --> 00:37:18.239
at the city market going, huh? So, okay. Anyhow,

00:37:18.320 --> 00:37:20.780
let's take our break. And then I got some emails.

00:37:20.860 --> 00:37:23.760
And I got a featured email that I found very

00:37:23.760 --> 00:37:28.579
classic. I'll stick with classic. Okay, okay.

00:37:28.820 --> 00:37:31.739
Oh, yeah. Did you come up with our list? Yes,

00:37:31.780 --> 00:37:35.760
I've got it. Top keyboardists. Okay. Seven. Yes,

00:37:35.800 --> 00:37:38.320
this is a surprise list there, buddy. I have

00:37:38.320 --> 00:37:40.559
marked it the other day with this. I love this.

00:37:40.659 --> 00:37:42.539
I can't believe we never thought of it before.

00:37:43.159 --> 00:37:46.780
We have our seven favorite keyboardists. Yeah,

00:37:46.800 --> 00:37:50.480
and keyboardists. And Ronnie from Tulsa, Tulsa

00:37:50.480 --> 00:37:54.050
King Fashion, of course. Yes, top seven. Top

00:37:54.050 --> 00:37:56.349
seven. And Ronnie, I know you don't like doing

00:37:56.349 --> 00:37:58.289
lists, but if you feel like bringing in a list,

00:37:58.369 --> 00:38:00.190
if you feel like throwing in a list every now

00:38:00.190 --> 00:38:02.050
and then like this, I'd love to hear it. But

00:38:02.050 --> 00:38:04.289
if you don't, that's fine too. It's your discretion.

00:38:04.909 --> 00:38:09.130
We love you. All right. I figured with Ronnie

00:38:09.130 --> 00:38:13.969
was talking about moving. He probably had too

00:38:13.969 --> 00:38:19.230
much on his plate. I gave him a break. Well,

00:38:19.690 --> 00:38:21.489
he had a lot on his plate, and I think that's

00:38:21.489 --> 00:38:23.630
why he didn't want to do the list. That's when

00:38:23.630 --> 00:38:26.170
I popped up with this list, and Mark loved it.

00:38:26.570 --> 00:38:30.670
Yeah, yeah, I do love it. Okay, be right back.

00:38:34.050 --> 00:38:36.550
This is Joshua Belmont, your food for thought

00:38:36.550 --> 00:38:39.590
man on the hustle. So I just realized a genius

00:38:39.590 --> 00:38:42.489
that gets absolutely no credit. His name is Marshall

00:38:42.489 --> 00:38:45.389
Taylor. He's credited with the first bag of salad

00:38:45.389 --> 00:38:48.570
mix that was bagged and sold. Yesterday. was

00:38:48.570 --> 00:38:52.409
his birthday. I believe he is still alive. This

00:38:52.409 --> 00:38:54.510
guy's genius will never be fully appreciated.

00:38:54.969 --> 00:38:57.769
Before this man, we settled for iceberg lettuce

00:38:57.769 --> 00:38:59.949
with maybe a couple of croutons and some cheese.

00:39:00.469 --> 00:39:03.449
Was Mr. Taylor satisfied with that? Hell no.

00:39:03.789 --> 00:39:06.050
He realized that Billy Americana would never

00:39:06.050 --> 00:39:08.170
go out and buy a couple of radishes, a couple

00:39:08.170 --> 00:39:10.889
of carrots, a head of purple cabbage, maybe snow

00:39:10.889 --> 00:39:13.050
peas, and possibly some cute romaine lettuce

00:39:13.050 --> 00:39:16.940
for extra bougie. Mr. Taylor. You should have

00:39:16.940 --> 00:39:20.639
a national holiday. Ms. Gulkenstein was tired

00:39:20.639 --> 00:39:23.199
of Mark and Toe for making sport of her. Little

00:39:23.199 --> 00:39:25.440
did the douchebags know, Ms. Gulkenstein was

00:39:25.440 --> 00:39:27.760
a voodoo high priestess when she was younger.

00:39:28.300 --> 00:39:32.179
She grew angry and cast a spell on Rob, changing

00:39:32.179 --> 00:39:36.860
Rob into a capuchin monkey. Mark took Rob to

00:39:36.860 --> 00:39:38.860
a local zoo so he could be with the other monkeys.

00:39:39.199 --> 00:39:43.019
Here are the adventures of Rob, the capuchin

00:39:43.019 --> 00:39:48.909
monkey. be very quiet we're gonna listen in as

00:39:48.909 --> 00:39:51.269
rob the capuchin monkey tries to sell the rest

00:39:51.269 --> 00:39:54.190
of the capuchin monkeys amway rob has always

00:39:54.190 --> 00:39:57.530
dreamed of becoming a diamond status amway as

00:39:57.530 --> 00:40:20.820
a capuchin monkey Little did our hero Rob know.

00:40:21.500 --> 00:40:24.199
All the great apes owned stock in Sam's Club

00:40:24.199 --> 00:40:26.400
and became violently pissed off when he tried

00:40:26.400 --> 00:40:28.920
to infringe on their territory. They promptly

00:40:28.920 --> 00:40:31.099
grabbed switches and beat his ass for three days

00:40:31.099 --> 00:40:48.380
straight. Rob could not sit down. Have you ever

00:40:48.380 --> 00:40:50.360
looked at something and said, hey, I wonder what

00:40:50.360 --> 00:40:54.139
the origin of that is? Well, so have we. That's

00:40:54.139 --> 00:40:58.599
why we give you the origin of. This is the origin

00:40:58.599 --> 00:41:01.539
of ketchup and catsup. There's no actual difference

00:41:01.539 --> 00:41:03.840
between ketchup and catsup. They're both two

00:41:03.840 --> 00:41:05.860
different spellings for the same tomato -based

00:41:05.860 --> 00:41:08.340
condiment. The term ketchup is more commonly

00:41:08.340 --> 00:41:11.039
and widely accepted, while catsup is still used

00:41:11.039 --> 00:41:13.219
in some regions, particularly in the south and

00:41:13.219 --> 00:41:15.920
midwest of the United States. Most spellings

00:41:15.920 --> 00:41:17.880
are correct and refer to the same sweet, sour

00:41:17.880 --> 00:41:20.000
condiment typically made with tomatoes, mangoes,

00:41:20.019 --> 00:41:22.960
sugar, and spices. The word ketchup likely originated

00:41:22.960 --> 00:41:26.059
from the Chinese term qi jia ce, a fermented

00:41:26.059 --> 00:41:28.639
fish sauce. Over time, variations like ketchup,

00:41:28.739 --> 00:41:31.119
spelled both ways, emerged as the condiment was

00:41:31.119 --> 00:41:33.659
adapted with Western ingredients, including tomatoes.

00:41:34.780 --> 00:41:38.340
Hey, my fellow heavy breeders, this is Dash Riptide,

00:41:38.480 --> 00:41:45.099
your music news. Rob Halford. the legendary singer

00:41:45.099 --> 00:41:48.179
of Judas Priest, now has his very own action

00:41:48.179 --> 00:41:51.480
figure on sale. This is from McFarlane Toys.

00:41:51.519 --> 00:41:55.619
It sells for $34 .99, and even Halford's action

00:41:55.619 --> 00:41:59.559
figure is taller than Udo Dirk Snyder. This is

00:41:59.559 --> 00:42:03.219
Gash Ruktein, and that was your music news. If

00:42:03.219 --> 00:42:05.400
it's too loud, you probably have ear damage,

00:42:05.519 --> 00:42:17.789
just like me. Jam X. What the hell happened?

00:42:19.010 --> 00:42:25.210
You were the generation of change. You never

00:42:25.210 --> 00:42:29.130
wanted to be one of them. Apathy spoke for you.

00:42:30.389 --> 00:42:35.130
Fuck the man. Fuck the system. What the hell

00:42:35.130 --> 00:42:39.429
happened? The generation of angst. The generation

00:42:39.429 --> 00:42:44.710
of noncompliance. is now buying a boat? You're

00:42:44.710 --> 00:42:46.969
really fed up to kill someone who dangled a dollar

00:42:46.969 --> 00:42:51.369
near you? Great job, Xers. Everything's ruined.

00:42:54.170 --> 00:42:56.550
Please remember to go to Cole's dressing room,

00:42:56.670 --> 00:42:59.429
wait five minutes, and scream, Hey, there's no

00:42:59.429 --> 00:43:07.409
toilet paper in here! Your mama is like the sun.

00:43:08.090 --> 00:43:11.980
Big, round, and hard to look at. You watched

00:43:11.980 --> 00:43:16.239
the news. It looks grim. Is an apocalypse inevitable?

00:43:16.699 --> 00:43:19.840
We suggest you download all our podcasts beforehand

00:43:19.840 --> 00:43:24.159
and have multiple mobile chargers. We have a

00:43:24.159 --> 00:43:30.159
post -apocalypse. Remember, post -apocalypse

00:43:30.159 --> 00:43:34.920
to have a sewage bit. Sewage untreated can result

00:43:34.920 --> 00:43:39.300
in serious illness. and other obstacles for your

00:43:39.300 --> 00:43:42.900
family to live well. You also should have some

00:43:42.900 --> 00:43:45.719
chemicals stocked up, maybe bags of chlorine

00:43:45.719 --> 00:43:49.840
or something of such, to sanitize the sewage

00:43:49.840 --> 00:44:09.909
per week. Two douchebags and a microphone. I'm

00:44:09.909 --> 00:44:11.929
Mark here in the Kansas City area at the Talk

00:44:11.929 --> 00:44:17.030
is Cheap studio. And I am Rob in the beautiful

00:44:17.030 --> 00:44:20.530
mango arm of Lake of the Ozarks in the Duck Barn

00:44:20.530 --> 00:44:25.110
studio. I forgot to tell you, this is our naked

00:44:25.110 --> 00:44:29.550
broadcast. This is our naked podcast. Did you

00:44:29.550 --> 00:44:34.809
see my post yet? No. Okay, no guitars, no vintage

00:44:34.809 --> 00:44:39.409
shirts. No weird sodas, nothing. This is just

00:44:39.409 --> 00:44:43.889
a naked episode. That's it. Okay, I thought you

00:44:43.889 --> 00:44:45.610
meant that we were supposed to be sitting here

00:44:45.610 --> 00:44:48.670
with no clothes on. No, no, no. But I did say

00:44:48.670 --> 00:44:52.090
you were going to sing 80s hits while I yodeled.

00:44:52.190 --> 00:44:54.309
But I guess we went ahead and scrapped that.

00:44:54.550 --> 00:44:58.429
I did not see the post. I'm sorry. Okay, no,

00:44:58.510 --> 00:45:00.730
I forgot to tell you that this was the naked

00:45:00.730 --> 00:45:02.889
broadcast. But it doesn't matter because we're

00:45:02.889 --> 00:45:06.909
not naked. All right, we got some emails, Rob.

00:45:07.030 --> 00:45:09.969
You want me to go into them? Yes. All right.

00:45:10.210 --> 00:45:13.030
Hey, guys, do you offer any video streaming on

00:45:13.030 --> 00:45:16.230
YouTube or Twitch or any other outlets? I was

00:45:16.230 --> 00:45:17.969
just wanting to get a look at you guys, Molly

00:45:17.969 --> 00:45:22.869
and Hutchison. Probably Kansas, I imagine. Okay,

00:45:23.110 --> 00:45:26.610
the reason I get emails like this all the time,

00:45:26.670 --> 00:45:28.929
and usually I'll send them back like we're working

00:45:28.929 --> 00:45:30.710
on it or something instead of addressing it,

00:45:30.750 --> 00:45:32.510
but I'm addressing it this time because of this.

00:45:33.210 --> 00:45:37.329
rob we've got some decisions to make and i yeah

00:45:37.329 --> 00:45:42.530
um youtube i was i i haven't answered this but

00:45:42.530 --> 00:45:51.769
go ahead okay um okay youtube is good but i don't

00:45:51.769 --> 00:45:54.170
think it's good enough i'm thinking about maybe

00:45:54.170 --> 00:45:56.929
a different delivery like x or twitter i guess

00:45:56.929 --> 00:45:59.809
you know twitter x or whatever um i think you

00:45:59.809 --> 00:46:03.780
have a higher percentage of people that can find

00:46:03.780 --> 00:46:06.139
it that will listen to it and it's just streaming

00:46:06.139 --> 00:46:09.599
right there in the feed so um all of a sudden

00:46:09.599 --> 00:46:11.980
just boom there it is and there we are talking

00:46:11.980 --> 00:46:15.860
and if we do video i think maybe we ought to

00:46:15.860 --> 00:46:18.119
go that route because there's like a bunch of

00:46:18.119 --> 00:46:21.539
weird rules that i read up on on youtube and

00:46:21.539 --> 00:46:24.519
getting copyright strikes and all this stuff

00:46:24.519 --> 00:46:26.539
and we just don't have the freedom we will not

00:46:26.539 --> 00:46:29.639
have the freedom that we do right now on youtube

00:46:30.710 --> 00:46:33.070
so I'm not sure if that's the way to go. Then

00:46:33.070 --> 00:46:37.710
I was reading rss .com. Okay. I mean, the research

00:46:37.710 --> 00:46:40.429
is being done. Yes. We're doing our research.

00:46:40.809 --> 00:46:44.530
Well, okay. Let me tell you this here real quick

00:46:44.530 --> 00:46:46.110
because I haven't had a chance to talk to you

00:46:46.110 --> 00:46:49.630
about this, Rob, but RSS will pay you, okay?

00:46:50.530 --> 00:46:57.130
But they push you if they pay you. They push

00:46:57.130 --> 00:46:59.670
you more. Okay, because that means they want

00:46:59.670 --> 00:47:01.849
you to get more advertisers and they make 30

00:47:01.849 --> 00:47:07.789
% and you make 70%. But, I don't know if we'll

00:47:07.789 --> 00:47:10.949
have the freedom to take that to Spotify and

00:47:10.949 --> 00:47:14.650
all these other places too, you see. RSS is audio

00:47:14.650 --> 00:47:18.670
only. Yeah, there's all these different things

00:47:18.670 --> 00:47:22.300
involved that I never had an idea. And we're

00:47:22.300 --> 00:47:24.239
going to have to like sit down and like really

00:47:24.239 --> 00:47:26.199
think about this and figure out what our best

00:47:26.199 --> 00:47:28.480
avenue is. I think we're going to have to do

00:47:28.480 --> 00:47:32.679
video because that is the preferred method of

00:47:32.679 --> 00:47:38.500
listening is watching. So, oh, go ahead. I think

00:47:38.500 --> 00:47:44.940
we're mixed here because I talk to a lot of people

00:47:44.940 --> 00:47:50.179
that like just listen to podcasts. I do. I don't

00:47:50.179 --> 00:47:54.059
want to see anybody. How can you watch a podcast

00:47:54.059 --> 00:47:56.699
while you're driving? Especially when we do it

00:47:56.699 --> 00:47:59.440
that late at night. I agree. We have to do it

00:47:59.440 --> 00:48:03.579
at night because of our schedules. I agree. But,

00:48:03.619 --> 00:48:08.280
yeah, we could do both. If we could find a way

00:48:08.280 --> 00:48:11.360
to do both, that's the way I would. Because I

00:48:11.360 --> 00:48:13.820
want to keep what we have. Me too. I want to

00:48:13.820 --> 00:48:18.519
keep the fan base we have so far. Me too. That's

00:48:18.519 --> 00:48:22.190
what I want to build on. I think maybe a QR code

00:48:22.190 --> 00:48:25.030
and stickers might be a good way to go. The more

00:48:25.030 --> 00:48:26.829
I look into that, the more I think that that's

00:48:26.829 --> 00:48:29.409
a perfect way to do it for us. It doesn't cost

00:48:29.409 --> 00:48:32.090
you anything much. And just put them around on

00:48:32.090 --> 00:48:35.489
stuff, you know. Every time I jump in my truck,

00:48:35.590 --> 00:48:38.130
I'm advertising now. I know, that's awesome.

00:48:38.409 --> 00:48:40.429
I've got to come up with something. Just advertise

00:48:40.429 --> 00:48:46.449
that in our old campgrounds. Cool. Cool. Our

00:48:46.449 --> 00:48:48.230
listenership down there has always been good

00:48:48.230 --> 00:48:50.889
because of you, but it has increased, and I think

00:48:50.889 --> 00:48:53.889
it's probably doing large because of you pushing

00:48:53.889 --> 00:48:59.269
it. Well, also, I have the Duke up the road now

00:48:59.269 --> 00:49:01.530
here, too. Oh, yeah, that's true. That's true,

00:49:01.630 --> 00:49:06.469
yeah. Duke is going to be more up around Jeff

00:49:06.469 --> 00:49:09.070
City, Columbia area. Yeah, we have quite a few

00:49:09.070 --> 00:49:13.230
people there, too. Yeah. He's in Sunrise Beach,

00:49:13.309 --> 00:49:24.570
right? He is now. We cannot explain the boom

00:49:24.570 --> 00:49:28.789
in Sunrise Beach on the Duke. It was started

00:49:28.789 --> 00:49:33.269
before he moved there. No, it did. It did. So,

00:49:33.389 --> 00:49:35.750
I mean, we talk a lot about the lake because

00:49:35.750 --> 00:49:39.510
of you, so maybe, I don't know. I think it's

00:49:39.510 --> 00:49:41.849
great. I would love to be the official podcast

00:49:41.849 --> 00:49:43.849
of Lake of the Ozarks. I think that would be

00:49:43.849 --> 00:49:49.989
excellent. So we have a lot of stuff. So, Molly,

00:49:50.190 --> 00:49:53.530
thank you. We're figuring it out. And it's going

00:49:53.530 --> 00:50:00.349
to take a while. Go ahead. I'm sorry. Yeah. I

00:50:00.349 --> 00:50:05.429
had a lost train of thought there. I had an explanation.

00:50:06.050 --> 00:50:10.690
Yeah, I lost it. Oh, shit. Sorry. Well, if you

00:50:10.690 --> 00:50:14.030
think of it, just start talking and I'll shut

00:50:14.030 --> 00:50:19.900
up, okay? All right, Rob. Hey, you got to remember,

00:50:20.039 --> 00:50:22.500
I'm on vacation, too. Oh, yeah, you know what?

00:50:23.079 --> 00:50:26.139
I'm in relax mode, man. I'm in relax mode. Do

00:50:26.139 --> 00:50:27.820
whatever you want, Rob. It's cool with me. You're

00:50:27.820 --> 00:50:31.639
on vacation. And you're getting ready to go on

00:50:31.639 --> 00:50:35.860
a vacation. Fuck yeah. And then when I'm down

00:50:35.860 --> 00:50:37.719
in Eureka Springs, you'll be on vacation with

00:50:37.719 --> 00:50:41.940
me. Or a getaway. I don't really call Eureka

00:50:41.940 --> 00:50:45.659
Springs vacations. I call them getaways. Yeah,

00:50:45.780 --> 00:50:48.840
yeah. All right, the next one. Rob, I'm sorry

00:50:48.840 --> 00:50:51.340
we decided to have the Massey Creek 4 -H Club

00:50:51.340 --> 00:50:54.119
meeting without you. You're on vacation, so we

00:50:54.119 --> 00:50:56.820
opted to have the vote without you. We can now

00:50:56.820 --> 00:50:59.820
have tie -dye colored life vests when navigating

00:50:59.820 --> 00:51:03.500
on the crystal blue waters of Lake Freeman. Mitch

00:51:03.500 --> 00:51:06.280
in South Central Cass County W Highway Brigade

00:51:06.280 --> 00:51:12.880
of the Plains. Well? Well, I already sent in

00:51:12.880 --> 00:51:16.179
my vote. Oh, you did? I voted for him, too. Okay.

00:51:16.300 --> 00:51:18.980
I voted for him, too. I agree. Tie -dye. I agree

00:51:18.980 --> 00:51:21.719
on the tie -dye. Tie -dye life vest. There you

00:51:21.719 --> 00:51:26.000
go, Mitch. I don't even know Mitch. No, Mitch.

00:51:26.039 --> 00:51:30.000
My vote was mailman. So, we're good. You know,

00:51:30.059 --> 00:51:32.320
I noticed Ronnie did not send an email this time.

00:51:32.760 --> 00:51:35.699
Oh, well. Yeah, I'm sure he's busy. Busy. Yep.

00:51:36.119 --> 00:51:40.340
Busy. Okay, Mark. What was the story you started

00:51:40.340 --> 00:51:42.260
to tell the other day? You were talking about

00:51:42.260 --> 00:51:46.860
decorative. Wall art? Decorative wall art. Roger,

00:51:46.900 --> 00:51:52.800
Milwaukee. What? Wall art. Decorative wall art.

00:51:54.880 --> 00:51:59.199
Okay. What was it? That's ringing a bell. Okay.

00:51:59.219 --> 00:52:03.300
That's ringing a bell. Okay. I'm trying to remember.

00:52:04.900 --> 00:52:09.960
Hmm. Oh, shit. Yeah, you were. Okay. I thought

00:52:09.960 --> 00:52:14.699
he was messing with... Okay. No, no. what it

00:52:14.699 --> 00:52:18.920
was about i don't know if i remember yeah you

00:52:18.920 --> 00:52:22.940
did okay okay you know what i'm gonna listen

00:52:22.940 --> 00:52:25.039
to the last few shows and i'll get back with

00:52:25.039 --> 00:52:31.019
you but i do remember you did um roger roger

00:52:31.019 --> 00:52:32.920
i'll get back with you and i will talk about

00:52:32.920 --> 00:52:34.980
it on the next podcast i have to go over the

00:52:34.980 --> 00:52:37.500
last two or three and find out what it was yeah

00:52:37.500 --> 00:52:40.900
yeah um you'll love this next one Hey, guys.

00:52:40.900 --> 00:52:44.000
Grandma Opal is going to a rehabilitation center

00:52:44.000 --> 00:52:46.659
for a stay. She is doing better, but will need

00:52:46.659 --> 00:52:50.320
to be there for a few months. Don't worry. They

00:52:50.320 --> 00:52:52.500
have Wi -Fi, and I will definitely be there to

00:52:52.500 --> 00:52:55.679
play you guys for her. I relayed the kind thoughts

00:52:55.679 --> 00:52:58.760
and prayers to her. She was thrilled to hear

00:52:58.760 --> 00:53:05.820
it. Thank you again, Jimmy. Awesome. Yes. And

00:53:05.820 --> 00:53:09.360
I'm glad she's in rehab so she can get better

00:53:09.360 --> 00:53:12.000
because I imagine she's going to rehab so she

00:53:12.000 --> 00:53:14.400
can continue to live alone like she has been

00:53:14.400 --> 00:53:16.920
because she enjoys that. She's got her big yard,

00:53:17.019 --> 00:53:22.079
everything, you know. So, Grandma Opal, we love

00:53:22.079 --> 00:53:25.320
you. Hang in there. So, and you'll get better

00:53:25.320 --> 00:53:29.000
and you'll be out there, you know, grabbing persimmons

00:53:29.000 --> 00:53:34.440
off the tree in no time, right? Honestly, I...

00:53:35.599 --> 00:53:38.000
I'm thinking grandma opals like me. I kind of

00:53:38.000 --> 00:53:42.960
like persimmons. Oh, okay. Okay. She might. She

00:53:42.960 --> 00:53:46.559
might. I'm not a persimmon fan at all. Well,

00:53:47.579 --> 00:53:53.980
I lost it. I got stupid one time on a job. Somebody

00:53:53.980 --> 00:54:00.039
wanted me to eat a raw one. It was raw. Green

00:54:00.039 --> 00:54:05.670
off the tree. Oh, sour. Oh, my God. Oh, my God,

00:54:05.869 --> 00:54:10.409
dude. It tasted like I had bit into a stick of

00:54:10.409 --> 00:54:15.469
deodorant. Persimmons? We're out in the heat,

00:54:15.510 --> 00:54:22.929
putting on vinyl siding. Oh. Yeah. Someone got

00:54:22.929 --> 00:54:28.750
you good, Rob. Yeah, with my damn boss. Oh, okay.

00:54:28.750 --> 00:54:31.909
I love that crew. That sounds like a lot of fun,

00:54:31.989 --> 00:54:37.880
really. Those and boysenberries, I hate. Have

00:54:37.880 --> 00:54:42.139
you ever liked boysenberries? I've never tried

00:54:42.139 --> 00:54:46.380
them. The salmon kind of scares me. Okay. Unless

00:54:46.380 --> 00:54:49.519
I know what they are. Boysenberries are kind

00:54:49.519 --> 00:54:52.920
of translucent. Kind of greenish translucent.

00:54:53.019 --> 00:54:56.280
They're nasty. Okay, yeah. I know what you're

00:54:56.280 --> 00:54:59.380
talking about. Yeah, they're nasty. I've never

00:54:59.380 --> 00:55:02.320
stuck one in my mouth. You're luckier than me.

00:55:03.820 --> 00:55:06.599
Someone had boysenberry pie at a party I was

00:55:06.599 --> 00:55:09.460
at. And they said, oh my God, it's so good. Try

00:55:09.460 --> 00:55:15.659
it, try it. No. No. There is not enough sugar

00:55:15.659 --> 00:55:17.659
they can put on that damn thing to make it taste

00:55:17.659 --> 00:55:22.280
okay. So, anyhow, I move on. Whatever happened

00:55:22.280 --> 00:55:24.820
to the website for your show, Wanda and St. Joe?

00:55:25.840 --> 00:55:28.039
Don't have time to operate it. Don't have the

00:55:28.039 --> 00:55:32.699
skill to build it. Don't have the time to...

00:55:33.340 --> 00:55:37.340
Learn the skill to build it. People don't really

00:55:37.340 --> 00:55:41.679
seem to care. People go to RSS and Spotify other

00:55:41.679 --> 00:55:43.780
than going to the website. It wasn't getting

00:55:43.780 --> 00:55:47.559
very much traffic. So for the time being, I don't

00:55:47.559 --> 00:55:49.159
think we need a website. I think we're doing

00:55:49.159 --> 00:55:53.059
okay. What do you think, Rob? Yeah, we're doing

00:55:53.059 --> 00:55:56.380
fine. Which takes me back to the, I just came

00:55:56.380 --> 00:55:59.940
back with that thought that I lost. Okay. She

00:55:59.940 --> 00:56:07.710
wanted to see pictures of us. Oh, Molly. This

00:56:07.710 --> 00:56:12.190
is my answer. Yeah. Go to the two douchebags

00:56:12.190 --> 00:56:16.010
and a microphone Facebook page. Yes. There are

00:56:16.010 --> 00:56:21.969
pictures of us on there. Yep. Yeah. Good point,

00:56:22.170 --> 00:56:24.389
Rob. Okay. And you know what? You're right. That

00:56:24.389 --> 00:56:27.289
was my answer. Then you got the rambling. I forgot.

00:56:27.349 --> 00:56:30.449
Sorry. Yes. Because she said I just wanted to

00:56:30.449 --> 00:56:33.760
get a look at you guys. Okay, Molly, there you

00:56:33.760 --> 00:56:36.599
go. Go to Two Douchebags on my phone Facebook

00:56:36.599 --> 00:56:41.519
page. It's linked onto my personal. All right,

00:56:41.539 --> 00:56:44.699
there you go. And I'm on there, too, so you can

00:56:44.699 --> 00:56:47.719
hit my personal or just look in my crazy -looking

00:56:47.719 --> 00:56:52.179
mug there. So the next one, Mark, you are annoying.

00:56:52.860 --> 00:57:01.190
No name. And, yeah, anything else? And they didn't

00:57:01.190 --> 00:57:03.949
give a name. Said no name. So, all right. Okay.

00:57:06.230 --> 00:57:12.829
Here's a feature. Because I always say, here's

00:57:12.829 --> 00:57:17.230
why. Here's why. Well, that too. But I always

00:57:17.230 --> 00:57:20.489
say that hate email goes to the top of the line.

00:57:22.489 --> 00:57:24.769
I haven't been getting that much hate email lately.

00:57:24.949 --> 00:57:27.429
Clint is really falling off. He's giving up or

00:57:27.429 --> 00:57:30.489
something. So, I mean, I have nothing to read.

00:57:30.590 --> 00:57:32.630
That was finally a little piece of hate email.

00:57:32.769 --> 00:57:35.230
And I was like, I got to go with it. No, no,

00:57:35.269 --> 00:57:39.989
no. Clint has teamed up with Mitch. Oh, that's

00:57:39.989 --> 00:57:46.230
right. Okay. Okay. Well. They've been busy. They've

00:57:46.230 --> 00:57:51.530
been busy getting our things together. I heard

00:57:51.530 --> 00:58:00.059
they bump pee -pees. You think that's true? You

00:58:00.059 --> 00:58:05.380
think they bump pee -pees? Well, I'm not going

00:58:05.380 --> 00:58:09.039
to say. Okay, well, there's speculation. There's

00:58:09.039 --> 00:58:11.039
speculation that they bump pee -pees. There's

00:58:11.039 --> 00:58:13.119
nothing wrong with that. I'm just saying, you

00:58:13.119 --> 00:58:16.099
know. All right. All right, here is the featured

00:58:16.099 --> 00:58:18.179
email, Rob, that I spoke to you about, and I

00:58:18.179 --> 00:58:22.360
know it's going to inflame you, but... I'm ready.

00:58:22.480 --> 00:58:24.880
This is just classic bullshit is what I'm going

00:58:24.880 --> 00:58:29.519
to say. Mark, why do you have such regard for

00:58:29.519 --> 00:58:33.699
a guy who sang about Aleister Crowley? Crowley

00:58:33.699 --> 00:58:36.679
was a Satanist. Practiced the occult and hated

00:58:36.679 --> 00:58:39.139
Christians. You seem more level -headed than

00:58:39.139 --> 00:58:41.039
that. You're talking about a man that bit the

00:58:41.039 --> 00:58:44.579
head off doves and bats? You really think Ozzy

00:58:44.579 --> 00:58:47.920
should be celebrated? He used the cross for publicity

00:58:47.920 --> 00:58:50.599
in photos. He even had an upside -down cross

00:58:50.599 --> 00:58:53.440
in a couple of photos. Come on, get some sense,

00:58:53.500 --> 00:58:56.059
dude. I'm not sure if I can even listen to you

00:58:56.059 --> 00:59:02.269
anymore. From Randy in the East. Rob, do you

00:59:02.269 --> 00:59:05.590
want to go first? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I have an

00:59:05.590 --> 00:59:10.590
answer to this. Okay. Do your homework on Ozzy.

00:59:10.769 --> 00:59:17.389
Mm -hmm. Yeah. Ozzy attended church. Ozzy was

00:59:17.389 --> 00:59:23.949
a member of a church. Mm -hmm. Okay. It was a

00:59:23.949 --> 00:59:30.429
gimmick. It was a gimmick. to sell records. Read

00:59:30.429 --> 00:59:34.090
your reports. I've read many reports about it.

00:59:35.710 --> 00:59:39.429
Perfect. Here's what I got. Yeah, I mean, that's...

00:59:39.429 --> 00:59:44.550
Yeah, I love that, Rob. He was a member of a

00:59:44.550 --> 00:59:48.289
church in Birmingham, England. Yes, and he, by

00:59:48.289 --> 00:59:50.690
several sources, became a born -again Christian.

00:59:51.590 --> 00:59:54.849
Yes. It sounds to me like he's in the right path

00:59:54.849 --> 01:00:05.539
there. So, you know, Randy in the East. Ozzy

01:00:05.539 --> 01:00:08.079
often explained this. A clown plays a character.

01:00:08.260 --> 01:00:10.539
He doesn't go home with his big red nose on.

01:00:10.679 --> 01:00:13.619
An actor doesn't really kill someone unless you're

01:00:13.619 --> 01:00:23.920
Alec Baldwin. Allegedly. The character is the

01:00:23.920 --> 01:00:27.550
Prince of Darkness. You know, Boris Karloff had

01:00:27.550 --> 01:00:30.090
grandchildren he took out for ice cream on Sundays

01:00:30.090 --> 01:00:33.630
after church, and that's no joke. Boris Karloff,

01:00:33.769 --> 01:00:37.849
the king of horror. The guy on film looked like

01:00:37.849 --> 01:00:41.210
the worst guy ever. That was not him. That was

01:00:41.210 --> 01:00:46.050
a character. I mean, what the hell else is he

01:00:46.050 --> 01:00:49.610
going to sing about? Mr. Gillespie, his neighbor?

01:00:50.389 --> 01:00:55.139
That would be thrilling. Let's see. Mr. Gillespie,

01:00:55.340 --> 01:01:00.219
you seem to have mowed my lawn. Mr. Gillespie,

01:01:00.380 --> 01:01:05.239
your dog woke me up at dawn. You want that? Fucking

01:01:05.239 --> 01:01:09.760
idiot. Okay, okay. Now let me take this another

01:01:09.760 --> 01:01:15.960
direction. Okay. The song Suicide Solution. Oh,

01:01:16.079 --> 01:01:21.739
good point. Go ahead. Was actually an anti -suicide

01:01:21.739 --> 01:01:25.889
song. Listen to it. You're killing yourself with

01:01:25.889 --> 01:01:30.250
alcohol. Solution meant a drink. It was a metaphor

01:01:30.250 --> 01:01:34.610
for killing yourself through drinking. Yeah,

01:01:34.769 --> 01:01:38.989
which he was doing at the time. And he knew it

01:01:38.989 --> 01:01:42.110
and he was telling us about it, telling us not

01:01:42.110 --> 01:01:46.789
to do it. Wine is fine, but liquor is quicker.

01:01:46.969 --> 01:01:50.230
Suicide is slow with liquor. That's the first

01:01:50.230 --> 01:01:54.900
opening. lines of that song the first opening

01:01:54.900 --> 01:01:58.500
lyrics of that song right there says everything

01:01:58.500 --> 01:02:02.260
that's all you need to know about the song he

01:02:02.260 --> 01:02:04.500
doesn't say get a gun and shoot shoot shoot like

01:02:04.500 --> 01:02:07.900
that lawyer said of the of the of that poor child

01:02:07.900 --> 01:02:10.940
that was so misguided that he killed himself

01:02:10.940 --> 01:02:14.840
um they don't even know if it was the song that

01:02:14.840 --> 01:02:18.079
he killed himself to All they looked at and they

01:02:18.079 --> 01:02:21.820
said, oh, man, look, the last song on this is

01:02:21.820 --> 01:02:25.320
called Suicide Solution. They must have enticed

01:02:25.320 --> 01:02:28.139
my child to do this instead of them taking any

01:02:28.139 --> 01:02:30.659
type of accountability, in my opinion, at all.

01:02:31.119 --> 01:02:34.440
They said, no, no, no, no, no, no. It's this

01:02:34.440 --> 01:02:40.300
filthy album here. But if you listen to word

01:02:40.300 --> 01:02:44.039
for word to that whole song, it's an actual anti

01:02:44.039 --> 01:02:52.230
-suicide. Yes. So, Randy in the East. Fuck off.

01:02:52.429 --> 01:02:57.610
I don't know what else to say. Mr. Gillespie,

01:02:57.730 --> 01:03:00.010
you want that? You really fucking want that?

01:03:03.150 --> 01:03:08.869
Mr. Gillespie, the neighbor. Yes. He got pissed

01:03:08.869 --> 01:03:11.150
off when Sharon tried to put bubbles at his Las

01:03:11.150 --> 01:03:15.320
Vegas show. You think he's going to go for that?

01:03:20.860 --> 01:03:27.260
Fuck yeah. He probably died a little bit earlier

01:03:27.260 --> 01:03:30.579
because of that. He got off his pain meds and

01:03:30.579 --> 01:03:33.380
did so much work that it probably led to maybe

01:03:33.380 --> 01:03:36.500
a couple weeks earlier, if not more, death. And

01:03:36.500 --> 01:03:38.340
you know what? He did that just like Freddie

01:03:38.340 --> 01:03:42.030
Mercury. Freddie Mercury went without regard

01:03:42.030 --> 01:03:44.909
on his last album and his Live Aid concert and

01:03:44.909 --> 01:03:47.829
all that. He didn't care. He was like, the music

01:03:47.829 --> 01:03:49.869
is the most important. I did a report about how

01:03:49.869 --> 01:03:53.130
Ozzy was off his meds before that concert because

01:03:53.130 --> 01:03:56.829
he wanted to be in the right mind. Yes. He wanted

01:03:56.829 --> 01:03:59.789
to do it. He knew. This is true entertainers

01:03:59.789 --> 01:04:01.570
is what we're talking about. True entertainers

01:04:01.570 --> 01:04:04.829
like Freddie Mercury was, like he was. People

01:04:04.829 --> 01:04:07.550
that live it. and that's what they want to do

01:04:07.550 --> 01:04:09.250
with their life. And that's the, that's their

01:04:09.250 --> 01:04:12.449
love of their life. And if it killed, yeah, they

01:04:12.449 --> 01:04:14.329
go to the very end, right into the wall like

01:04:14.329 --> 01:04:17.190
that. So there you go. So God bless Ozzie, Freddie

01:04:17.190 --> 01:04:21.110
Mercury, all of them. So, um, should we go into

01:04:21.110 --> 01:04:25.969
our top seven keyboardists that you, uh, that

01:04:25.969 --> 01:04:30.329
you came up with, which I love. Yes. Yes. I'm

01:04:30.329 --> 01:04:32.750
ready. Okay. Since it's your list, do you want

01:04:32.750 --> 01:04:34.469
me to go first or do you want you to go first?

01:04:37.289 --> 01:04:41.610
Why don't you go first for once? Okay. My number

01:04:41.610 --> 01:04:45.789
seven is Ray Manzarek of The Doors. He has that

01:04:45.789 --> 01:04:51.230
carnival type of evil carnival type of a keyboarding

01:04:51.230 --> 01:04:56.489
that was so unique and so, what would you say,

01:04:56.670 --> 01:05:02.349
semi -scary, mysterious, evil -ish. He was just

01:05:02.349 --> 01:05:05.510
so good at portraying the songs, you know, of

01:05:05.510 --> 01:05:09.940
the stuff, you know. Yeah, and without Ray Manzarek,

01:05:09.940 --> 01:05:12.380
The Doors wouldn't have been anything. He was

01:05:12.380 --> 01:05:15.619
much better than Jim Morrison, but people didn't

01:05:15.619 --> 01:05:18.119
see it like that. But anyhow, Ray Manzarek's

01:05:18.119 --> 01:05:20.480
my number seven. Number six is Steve Wynwood.

01:05:21.980 --> 01:05:25.440
Steve Wynwood's melodies that he did on the keyboards,

01:05:25.659 --> 01:05:29.039
I mean, were almost like the whole song, which

01:05:29.039 --> 01:05:33.079
is hard to do. Usually keyboards are a backing.

01:05:33.630 --> 01:05:35.489
piece of equipment the only other person who's

01:05:35.489 --> 01:05:39.389
on here too is john lord john lord did a lot

01:05:39.389 --> 01:05:42.469
of lead which was so good i mean you know he

01:05:42.469 --> 01:05:46.570
he basically was like richie blackmore um guitaring

01:05:46.570 --> 01:05:50.170
over there on the organ so but anyhow steve winwood's

01:05:50.170 --> 01:05:53.630
number six number five dennis de young dennis

01:05:53.630 --> 01:06:01.269
de young did such weird um every yeah yeah dennis

01:06:01.269 --> 01:06:04.840
de young was just so whenever you heard him,

01:06:04.860 --> 01:06:08.340
he had this tone that was Styx, but it was brilliant,

01:06:08.400 --> 01:06:10.460
the music that he wrote. But if you heard him

01:06:10.460 --> 01:06:12.960
playing right now, by himself on his own, you

01:06:12.960 --> 01:06:17.019
go, man, that sounds like Styx. That's how good

01:06:17.019 --> 01:06:19.260
he is. Like guitarists, guitarists have their

01:06:19.260 --> 01:06:21.400
tone, Eddie Van Halen did, you know, Randy Rhoades

01:06:21.400 --> 01:06:24.780
did, all of them. The greats had their own tone.

01:06:25.860 --> 01:06:28.639
Buddy Holly, you know. Yeah, it took all of them

01:06:28.639 --> 01:06:33.010
to put it together. Yes. Yeah. So Dennis DeYoung.

01:06:33.630 --> 01:06:36.429
Number four, Keith Emerson of Emerson, Lake,

01:06:36.469 --> 01:06:40.949
and Powell and others. He was very, very good.

01:06:41.090 --> 01:06:43.210
I mean, I don't know what else to say. Number

01:06:43.210 --> 01:06:47.070
three, Richard Tandy of ELO. He doesn't get enough

01:06:47.070 --> 01:06:53.369
love. I mean, just like an evil woman. I mean,

01:06:53.409 --> 01:06:56.869
all that stuff that he did. I mean, yeah. Richard

01:06:56.869 --> 01:07:03.110
Tandy, genius in my opinion. Number two is Don

01:07:03.110 --> 01:07:07.110
Airy. And he plays in Deep Purple, which is also

01:07:07.110 --> 01:07:09.469
my number one, who played in Deep Purple before

01:07:09.469 --> 01:07:13.769
John Lord died. Don Airy was responsible for

01:07:13.769 --> 01:07:18.449
Mr. Crowley. And all of these, Diary of a Madman,

01:07:18.590 --> 01:07:23.389
all of these classic tunes from Ozzy, Don Airy

01:07:23.389 --> 01:07:28.949
wrote the keyboards. And did them so well. The

01:07:28.949 --> 01:07:32.829
tone and the sound on Mr. Crowley set the whole

01:07:32.829 --> 01:07:37.550
song up to be scary and spooky. I mean, he's

01:07:37.550 --> 01:07:40.809
a genius. Number one is John Lord. John Lord

01:07:40.809 --> 01:07:43.809
was a guitarist. He only played, but he played

01:07:43.809 --> 01:07:48.630
an organ. I mean, just, I think anybody that

01:07:48.630 --> 01:07:51.269
listened to John Lord and the way that he came

01:07:51.269 --> 01:07:57.610
at it with a... Oh, with an orchestration. The

01:07:57.610 --> 01:08:00.590
way him and Richie Blackmore worked together

01:08:00.590 --> 01:08:03.650
and put the song together was orchestration.

01:08:03.730 --> 01:08:07.690
I mean, it was like a song put into a song. Amazing

01:08:07.690 --> 01:08:11.489
work. So Don Aries is close for a second, and

01:08:11.489 --> 01:08:14.530
then John Lord is number one. So, Rob, we turn

01:08:14.530 --> 01:08:21.529
to you. All right. Well, most of my list goes

01:08:21.529 --> 01:08:24.529
right in there with you, but my number seven

01:08:24.529 --> 01:08:29.729
goes a totally different direction. Okay. My

01:08:29.729 --> 01:08:33.729
number seven is Herbie Hancock. I can't argue

01:08:33.729 --> 01:08:41.869
with that. He was good. What he did on Beverly

01:08:41.869 --> 01:08:49.829
Hills Cop, the soundtrack. Yeah. Shit. Yeah.

01:08:50.390 --> 01:08:53.689
And everything else he did. Yeah, he was awesome.

01:08:55.789 --> 01:09:01.510
I could not argue with that. Greg Allman. Oh,

01:09:01.550 --> 01:09:06.090
yeah. Okay. Yep. I've got to stay on my southern

01:09:06.090 --> 01:09:11.069
roots, brother. Oh, he was fucking awesome. Number

01:09:11.069 --> 01:09:13.890
five, I'm staying on my southern roots. Okay.

01:09:15.390 --> 01:09:19.489
Billy Powell of Leonard Skinner. Another great

01:09:19.489 --> 01:09:22.630
one. And you're probably shocked he's that far

01:09:22.630 --> 01:09:25.130
down on the list. I really am because, I mean,

01:09:25.210 --> 01:09:28.630
I just Freebird. Listen to the... Yeah, I'm interested

01:09:28.630 --> 01:09:33.829
in Freebird, but you'll understand my top four.

01:09:35.229 --> 01:09:48.069
Okay. Number four, John Lord. Mm -hmm. Yep. Number

01:09:48.069 --> 01:09:52.789
three. My number three and my number two are

01:09:52.789 --> 01:09:57.109
offbeat for me. My number three is Tom Scholz

01:09:57.109 --> 01:10:06.529
from Boston. Very cool. They wouldn't have music

01:10:06.529 --> 01:10:12.329
if it wasn't for the keyboard, I believe. No,

01:10:12.369 --> 01:10:18.460
I agree. I agree 100%. Number two. Nicky Hopkins

01:10:18.460 --> 01:10:25.640
from Steve Miller Band. Interesting. Well, the

01:10:25.640 --> 01:10:30.020
space intro and the fly like an eagle. Yeah,

01:10:30.020 --> 01:10:32.380
no, I get it. It was Steve Miller's early music.

01:10:32.399 --> 01:10:35.819
There was a lot of keyboard in it. It was awesome.

01:10:37.500 --> 01:10:44.279
Very cool. And number one, I'm right there with

01:10:44.279 --> 01:10:52.279
you, brother. Mr. Don Harry. Yeah. Wow. Mr. Crowley.

01:10:52.399 --> 01:10:59.159
Oh, my God. That's Keith O. Yeah. Yeah. And like

01:10:59.159 --> 01:11:06.279
I said, he was a very close second. His music

01:11:06.279 --> 01:11:10.000
speaks for itself. Oh, I agree. Another interesting

01:11:10.000 --> 01:11:13.520
thing I alluded to, I kind of got into, is Don

01:11:13.520 --> 01:11:17.560
Airy is now the keyboardist for Deep Purple because

01:11:17.560 --> 01:11:20.579
John Lord passed away. And it's just amazing

01:11:20.579 --> 01:11:22.779
how Deep Purple had two of the best keyboardists

01:11:22.779 --> 01:11:30.760
ever. So, very cool. You know, last night I accidentally

01:11:30.760 --> 01:11:35.979
drank a bottle of Invisible Ink. I'm still waiting

01:11:35.979 --> 01:11:44.260
to be seen. That was horrible. I know. It was

01:11:44.260 --> 01:11:47.000
meant to be horrible. All right. We'll be right

01:11:47.000 --> 01:12:11.300
back. To radiation. Watch him glow. Watch Rob

01:12:11.300 --> 01:12:15.300
Red jump up 25 feet and grab birds out of thin

01:12:15.300 --> 01:12:20.140
air with his mouth. With his mouth! Rob can now

01:12:20.140 --> 01:12:22.680
be rented for children's parties and by men's

01:12:22.680 --> 01:12:26.319
fellas. That's right. Come on and rent you a

01:12:26.319 --> 01:12:29.739
Rob today. That's right. Come by and rent Rob

01:12:29.739 --> 01:12:36.300
for a day. A day! Watch Rob consume seven bottles

01:12:36.300 --> 01:12:39.319
of night cream and still break dance in New York.

01:12:40.100 --> 01:12:43.939
Watch Rob Redd fart down a building. Fart down

01:12:43.939 --> 01:12:47.960
a building! Rob Redd assumes no responsibility

01:12:47.960 --> 01:12:50.340
whatsoever. He is not a babysitter and he doesn't

01:12:50.340 --> 01:12:52.079
give one else a shit about your children. Please

01:12:52.079 --> 01:12:54.300
remember to corral every little bastard you have.

01:12:54.600 --> 01:12:56.760
Before Rob gets there, and Walt will not put

01:12:56.760 --> 01:12:59.079
up with any backtalk, he will promptly get them

01:12:59.079 --> 01:13:01.359
in the place. Rob Braddock assumes no responsibility

01:13:01.359 --> 01:13:03.640
for anything that could be stolen from his visit.

01:13:03.680 --> 01:13:05.579
Rob Braddock has no responsibility whatsoever

01:13:05.579 --> 01:13:08.899
in any help him of any situation. Ready to rob

01:13:08.899 --> 01:13:12.439
today. Sir, I see your qualifications here. May

01:13:12.439 --> 01:13:14.260
I ask some further questions that could help

01:13:14.260 --> 01:13:17.220
me determine your employment eligibility? Yes,

01:13:17.220 --> 01:13:20.100
sir. I'm ready. Well, as you can see here, we

01:13:20.100 --> 01:13:22.560
have a large population of different ethnic backgrounds,

01:13:22.840 --> 01:13:27.180
sexuality, and ages. Are you by chance bilingual?

01:13:27.800 --> 01:13:30.520
Well, sir, I'm not sure why you need that kind

01:13:30.520 --> 01:13:33.359
of information, but, well, it was only one time

01:13:33.359 --> 01:13:36.279
in summer camp. I considered it experimental.

01:13:40.859 --> 01:13:43.920
Jamar Chase, what in the hell did you say this

01:13:43.920 --> 01:13:46.899
time? This idea has worked out so well for you

01:13:46.899 --> 01:13:49.890
in the past. Just go ahead, Fat Mouth, one of

01:13:49.890 --> 01:13:51.770
the all -time greatest quarterbacks in the league

01:13:51.770 --> 01:13:55.229
ever. Your quote was, without Kelsey, Mahomes

01:13:55.229 --> 01:13:57.289
is just another Kirk Cousins with a headband.

01:13:57.949 --> 01:14:01.289
Well then, Mr. Chase, you should know Kirk Cousins

01:14:01.289 --> 01:14:03.770
very well. You and him have the same amount of

01:14:03.770 --> 01:14:07.729
rings. You remind us of a little lap dog nipping

01:14:07.729 --> 01:14:13.689
at the heels of your daddy. Hey there, Slap Nets.

01:14:13.710 --> 01:14:19.390
It's time for the Creeps Music News. Hey, my

01:14:19.390 --> 01:14:21.750
little pumpkin seeds. This is Johnny Rohypnol

01:14:21.750 --> 01:14:24.970
with your music news. Ozzy Osbourne, in collaboration

01:14:24.970 --> 01:14:28.090
with Liquid Death, sold 10 empty crushed ice

01:14:28.090 --> 01:14:32.350
tea cans containing his DNA for $450 each. The

01:14:32.350 --> 01:14:34.489
cans were part of a promotion called Infinitely

01:14:34.489 --> 01:14:38.189
Recyclable Ozzy. They have since sold out. The

01:14:38.189 --> 01:14:40.930
cans were sealed in lab jars and contain a sample

01:14:40.930 --> 01:14:44.409
of Ozzy's saliva. This is Johnny Rohypnol. That

01:14:44.409 --> 01:14:47.170
was your music news. And remember, bar chords

01:14:47.170 --> 01:14:53.420
are bullshit. Two Dishbags and Microphone is

01:14:53.420 --> 01:14:55.920
the only podcast available anywhere with gusto.

01:14:56.220 --> 01:15:00.119
That's right, I said gusto. Gusto is a magical

01:15:00.119 --> 01:15:02.739
ingredient in Schlitz beer that makes it so damn

01:15:02.739 --> 01:15:05.479
delicious. So enjoy a little gusto with your

01:15:05.479 --> 01:15:09.500
podcast today. Now it's time for Pickup Lines

01:15:09.500 --> 01:15:13.279
from a Loser. You're pretty and I'm cute. Together

01:15:13.279 --> 01:15:29.069
we could be pretty cute. Hi there. This is your

01:15:29.069 --> 01:15:32.930
ears. Why are you listening to this garbage?

01:15:33.710 --> 01:15:55.350
I thought we were friends. Oh, real quick, Rob,

01:15:55.430 --> 01:15:57.850
I want to say this. You know, last time we took

01:15:57.850 --> 01:16:00.069
and did that pause because I was going to insert

01:16:00.069 --> 01:16:03.989
our newest segment when we start off, the monologue

01:16:03.989 --> 01:16:08.189
kickoff. I can't find it. I can't find it anywhere.

01:16:09.930 --> 01:16:13.390
This is part of, like, the whole, you know, too

01:16:13.390 --> 01:16:15.510
many characters stuff. I looked in there and

01:16:15.510 --> 01:16:17.130
I could not find it anywhere. And I'm like, shit.

01:16:17.170 --> 01:16:18.850
So I just put it all together and just forgot

01:16:18.850 --> 01:16:21.689
about it. I got to make another. I can't even

01:16:21.689 --> 01:16:23.630
find the original script. It's here somewhere.

01:16:23.850 --> 01:16:27.409
But anyhow. So, Rob, you got something? Can you

01:16:27.409 --> 01:16:31.390
tell I'm more rested? Yes. Yes, I can. I'm talking

01:16:31.390 --> 01:16:33.710
a little more. I'm a little more alive tonight.

01:16:34.010 --> 01:16:37.409
I ain't worked my ass off all day. Yeah, I love

01:16:37.409 --> 01:16:42.600
it. I love it. Yeah. No, I can tell because after

01:16:42.600 --> 01:16:47.100
work, I can tell you're running on empty. Yeah,

01:16:47.100 --> 01:16:50.920
but I do it. I do it. And honestly, while we're

01:16:50.920 --> 01:16:54.539
doing it, I feel good doing it. That's my relaxation

01:16:54.539 --> 01:16:59.920
time. Nobody's messing with me. Nobody's texting

01:16:59.920 --> 01:17:02.340
me, nothing, because everybody knows what I'm

01:17:02.340 --> 01:17:04.840
doing. Just leave me the hell alone. I'm not

01:17:04.840 --> 01:17:10.829
going to answer. Okay. And I'm tired. But this

01:17:10.829 --> 01:17:14.590
week, I'm on vacation. I feel good. I'm rested.

01:17:16.750 --> 01:17:22.409
Good. Okay. Good. No, I'm... Yeah, I'm glad you

01:17:22.409 --> 01:17:24.850
are. I mean, I understand you being tired and

01:17:24.850 --> 01:17:26.869
stuff because I'm like that after work too. I

01:17:26.869 --> 01:17:33.010
get it. Alrighty, Rob. Go ahead with whatever

01:17:33.010 --> 01:17:37.439
you want to go to. Okay. Well... I'm going to

01:17:37.439 --> 01:17:39.880
go into what I was talking to you before the

01:17:39.880 --> 01:17:44.939
show. Mm -hmm. I'm going to start up one of...

01:17:44.939 --> 01:17:50.300
It's a story I ran across. It's 30 facts from

01:17:50.300 --> 01:17:55.920
textbooks that are now outdated. So what I do

01:17:55.920 --> 01:18:00.100
on these is I do a few a night, and you'll have

01:18:00.100 --> 01:18:03.439
to tune in next time, probably a time after that,

01:18:03.460 --> 01:18:10.140
maybe a time after that to get told. Okay, first

01:18:10.140 --> 01:18:18.720
up, Pluto is not a planet. Does anyone else remember

01:18:18.720 --> 01:18:22.579
when our solar system had nine planets? For decades,

01:18:22.979 --> 01:18:26.199
Pluto remained the smallest member of our planetary

01:18:26.199 --> 01:18:33.060
family. Then in 2006, astronomers reclassified

01:18:33.060 --> 01:18:36.810
Pluto as a dwarf planet. Leaving millions of

01:18:36.810 --> 01:18:40.270
us feeling academically betrayed by the universe

01:18:40.270 --> 01:18:47.569
itself. Uh -huh. Yeah. I remember that, yeah.

01:18:47.630 --> 01:18:50.489
I mean, us growing up, I mean, there's even a

01:18:50.489 --> 01:18:53.750
Disney character named after the planet Pluto.

01:18:54.069 --> 01:19:02.670
Yeah. Yep. Okay, next. The atom is the smallest

01:19:02.670 --> 01:19:09.170
thing in the universe. Our textbooks topically

01:19:09.170 --> 01:19:12.430
declared atoms as the smallest particles in the

01:19:12.430 --> 01:19:15.630
universe and the fundamental building blocks

01:19:15.630 --> 01:19:19.270
of everything. Teachers drew these neat little

01:19:19.270 --> 01:19:24.409
diagrams with electrons circling a nucleus, and

01:19:24.409 --> 01:19:27.909
we thought that was the end of the story. Today's

01:19:27.909 --> 01:19:34.369
physicists have discovered quarks, bosons, leptons.

01:19:35.279 --> 01:19:38.859
And a whole zoo of subatomic particles that make

01:19:38.859 --> 01:19:42.560
atoms look positively enormous by comparison.

01:19:43.079 --> 01:19:51.039
Uh -huh. Okay, next. Uh -huh. This is awesome.

01:19:51.140 --> 01:19:57.220
Yeah. Next, there are only three states of matter.

01:19:59.680 --> 01:20:06.470
It goes solid, liquid, gas, right? Yep. Not exactly.

01:20:06.590 --> 01:20:12.029
I'm glad you said that. That was perfect. Researchers

01:20:12.029 --> 01:20:16.229
were busy uncovering plasma, the fourth state

01:20:16.229 --> 01:20:20.550
that makes up most of the visible universe. Then

01:20:20.550 --> 01:20:28.090
came Bose -Einstein condensates, superfluids,

01:20:28.189 --> 01:20:31.350
and other exotic states that would have blown

01:20:31.350 --> 01:20:35.270
our teenage minds. Raise your hand if you ever

01:20:35.270 --> 01:20:38.149
thought it mattered to get more complicated than

01:20:38.149 --> 01:20:46.729
ice smelling in the water. Yep. Yeah. I love

01:20:46.729 --> 01:20:48.770
some of the origami's too. That's what I like

01:20:48.770 --> 01:20:52.789
about these. It's pretty cool. Okay, number four.

01:20:54.470 --> 01:20:59.949
Dinosaurs will cold blood it. Yeah, that's what

01:20:59.949 --> 01:21:05.859
I thought. Scientists painted dinosaurs as oversized

01:21:05.859 --> 01:21:10.119
lizards, dependent on sunshine to warm their

01:21:10.119 --> 01:21:16.159
massive bodies. Modern paleontology tells a dramatically

01:21:16.159 --> 01:21:21.159
different story. Many dinosaurs were likely warm

01:21:21.159 --> 01:21:26.279
-blooded, active creatures more similar to birds

01:21:26.279 --> 01:21:42.050
than crocodiles. Wow. No, I didn't either. So

01:21:42.050 --> 01:21:44.449
a lot of them were more like birds. Now, were

01:21:44.449 --> 01:21:47.010
some of them? I don't think it says it, though.

01:21:50.229 --> 01:21:56.149
Okay, so they're just warm -blooded. Okay. All

01:21:56.149 --> 01:22:01.270
right. Wow. if they had hair, they'd be considered

01:22:01.270 --> 01:22:11.550
a mammal. Okay, next. You probably heard this

01:22:11.550 --> 01:22:15.750
one. Christopher Columbus discovered America.

01:22:19.470 --> 01:22:22.609
Generations of students learned about Columbus's

01:22:22.609 --> 01:22:27.090
brave journey across unknown seas to discover

01:22:27.090 --> 01:22:31.770
a new continent. History textbooks celebrate

01:22:31.770 --> 01:22:36.810
1492 as the moment America entered consciousness.

01:22:37.770 --> 01:22:42.550
The reality is Columbus never actually set foot

01:22:42.550 --> 01:22:46.350
on the mainland in North America. It didn't.

01:22:46.350 --> 01:22:50.430
It was south of there. And indigenous people

01:22:50.430 --> 01:22:54.350
have been thriving here for thousands of years.

01:22:59.050 --> 01:23:01.390
Christopher Columbus was not the first person

01:23:01.390 --> 01:23:06.250
in America. I knew that, but I didn't know it

01:23:06.250 --> 01:23:08.270
was that drastic that he went to South America.

01:23:08.369 --> 01:23:13.770
I did not know. No, no. I learned that years

01:23:13.770 --> 01:23:18.750
ago. He ended up down in South America. He did

01:23:18.750 --> 01:23:24.569
not land in North America. He ended up on some

01:23:24.569 --> 01:23:31.560
island down in South America. Wow. Okay, and

01:23:31.560 --> 01:23:38.699
finally for tonight, humans only have five senses.

01:23:39.960 --> 01:23:47.159
Yeah. Touch, taste, smell, sight, and hearing.

01:23:47.460 --> 01:23:51.060
The famous five that they define human perception

01:23:51.060 --> 01:23:58.560
for generations of students. Yeah. Modern neuroscience

01:23:58.560 --> 01:24:04.460
reveals we possess at least nine distinct senses.

01:24:06.140 --> 01:24:12.460
Nine? Okay. Yeah. Thank God they gave a description

01:24:12.460 --> 01:24:17.300
because this... Okay. This is going to be interesting.

01:24:21.279 --> 01:24:25.369
Proprioception. Yeah, proprioception. Knowing

01:24:25.369 --> 01:24:33.550
where your body parts are. Oh, okay. That's it.

01:24:33.670 --> 01:24:41.789
One of the senses. Okay. Equal bryoception balance.

01:24:44.369 --> 01:24:52.050
Balance is now one of the senses. Didn't know

01:24:52.050 --> 01:24:56.300
that either. Wow. Okay. Did you know your body

01:24:56.300 --> 01:24:59.819
constantly monitors internal temperature, blood

01:24:59.819 --> 01:25:04.220
pressure, and even the passage of time? No. A

01:25:04.220 --> 01:25:07.979
sensory world is far richer than those old diagrams.

01:25:08.479 --> 01:25:14.520
Had no idea of that either. Yeah. I'll tell you,

01:25:14.560 --> 01:25:17.319
this one's pretty informative. I like this one.

01:25:20.380 --> 01:25:23.850
I do too. And we don't have more time. More next

01:25:23.850 --> 01:25:27.250
time, boys and girls. That's really cool, man.

01:25:27.329 --> 01:25:31.210
Thank you, Rob. I love that. Hopefully you have

01:25:31.210 --> 01:25:33.029
a bunch more so we can keep that going for a

01:25:33.029 --> 01:25:37.029
while. Oh, there's 30 of these, and I just did

01:25:37.029 --> 01:25:40.710
six tonight. Good, good, good, good. Everybody

01:25:40.710 --> 01:25:46.229
stay tuned. Yeah, that stuff I love. That's great

01:25:46.229 --> 01:25:52.500
subject matter to me. I love it. Rob. There are

01:25:52.500 --> 01:25:56.260
client services in Japan that provide many conveniences.

01:25:56.579 --> 01:26:00.579
Oddly Central reported on July 15th, but one

01:26:00.579 --> 01:26:05.800
of the most popular is called OK Grandma. Through

01:26:05.800 --> 01:26:08.039
this service, people can rent a woman between

01:26:08.039 --> 01:26:13.079
the ages of 60 and 94 for 3 ,300 yen per hour.

01:26:14.360 --> 01:26:16.800
Some of the grannies cook for their clients while

01:26:16.800 --> 01:26:20.300
others babysit or employ their beautiful handwriting

01:26:20.300 --> 01:26:24.260
skills. So you can have your hired Grammy write

01:26:24.260 --> 01:26:28.079
out some thank you notes or a resume. Yeah, well,

01:26:28.159 --> 01:26:31.239
probably not a resume, but you know, whatever.

01:26:31.439 --> 01:26:33.220
You know, you want your signature a little bit

01:26:33.220 --> 01:26:35.579
prettier, you know, for, I don't know, something

01:26:35.579 --> 01:26:39.260
that you're mailing in. But that's not just it,

01:26:39.319 --> 01:26:42.770
Rob. But wait, there's more. A lady said, I want

01:26:42.770 --> 01:26:44.829
to break up with my boyfriend, said one client,

01:26:44.930 --> 01:26:48.010
but I can't tell him clearly, so I want my grandmother

01:26:48.010 --> 01:26:53.069
to come with me. Another client hired a grandmother

01:26:53.069 --> 01:26:55.510
to fill out their family's side of a wedding.

01:26:56.909 --> 01:26:59.329
Another one wanted their grandma to come along

01:26:59.329 --> 01:27:02.909
just for an extra person to talk to that have

01:27:02.909 --> 01:27:05.840
more wisdom than them that live longer. because

01:27:05.840 --> 01:27:08.119
this person never had a grandma because their

01:27:08.119 --> 01:27:11.239
grandmas passed away before they were around.

01:27:12.619 --> 01:27:17.920
This is a big thing in Japan, and they rent them

01:27:17.920 --> 01:27:25.000
out. There is 30 of them that this business rents

01:27:25.000 --> 01:27:28.439
out, and they are booked up for seven months.

01:27:29.939 --> 01:27:35.729
How about that? All right. Yeah. like making

01:27:35.729 --> 01:27:38.789
a business just out of nothing, you know. Get

01:27:38.789 --> 01:27:40.289
a bunch of old ladies to go, hey, you want to

01:27:40.289 --> 01:27:43.369
be a pretend grandma for somebody? Sure, why

01:27:43.369 --> 01:27:47.029
not? I'm doing that anyhow, you know. So, all

01:27:47.029 --> 01:27:49.649
right. Rob, you got anything or you want to shut

01:27:49.649 --> 01:27:53.250
it down? Oh, I got another one here. All right,

01:27:53.270 --> 01:28:01.649
go ahead. Weapons. A new horror movie opening

01:28:01.649 --> 01:28:06.640
in theaters next week. earned a perfect 100 %

01:28:06.640 --> 01:28:10.100
score on Rotten Tomatoes from its first reviews

01:28:10.100 --> 01:28:18.899
after the movie's eerie marketing campaign. Okay,

01:28:18.960 --> 01:28:21.159
a 100 score on Rotten Tomatoes. That's kind of

01:28:21.159 --> 01:28:25.939
hard to get. Yeah, it is. Yeah, it is. Including

01:28:25.939 --> 01:28:29.579
a video of more than two hours of surveillance

01:28:29.579 --> 01:28:35.180
footage being viral online. Wow. Weapons has

01:28:35.180 --> 01:28:39.579
a 100 % on Rock Tomatoes based on its first 11

01:28:39.579 --> 01:28:43.819
reviews, meaning all critics so far have given

01:28:43.819 --> 01:28:50.079
the movie a positive review. Weapons, which opens

01:28:50.079 --> 01:28:53.380
in theaters August 8th, is a horror film about

01:28:53.380 --> 01:28:57.659
an entire classroom full of children. There's

01:28:57.659 --> 01:29:06.460
she in the middle of the night. Okay. Sorry,

01:29:06.539 --> 01:29:14.439
I had to take a break. No, no, that's cool. I'm

01:29:14.439 --> 01:29:18.699
trying to figure out how these classroom children

01:29:18.699 --> 01:29:22.220
match in the middle of the night, but we'll find

01:29:22.220 --> 01:29:27.140
out. Yeah. The movie is written and directed

01:29:27.140 --> 01:29:30.899
by Zach Krieger. Bruce Lee wrote and directed

01:29:30.899 --> 01:29:37.989
the horror movie Barbarian. 2022, which was also

01:29:37.989 --> 01:29:42.649
well received and has a 92 % score on Rockin'

01:29:42.649 --> 01:29:49.189
Tomatoes. Weapons stars Josh Brolin as the father

01:29:49.189 --> 01:29:52.510
of one of the missing children, and Julia Gardner

01:29:52.510 --> 01:29:56.729
as the children's teacher. And like Projected

01:29:56.729 --> 01:30:00.909
Weapons, it earned $25 million or more at opening

01:30:00.909 --> 01:30:13.479
weekend. Cool. Yeah, that sounds like it's going

01:30:13.479 --> 01:30:17.199
to be a good movie. Yeah, I think so too. Very

01:30:17.199 --> 01:30:21.680
cool. We need a good horror movie. No, I agree.

01:30:22.359 --> 01:30:26.279
100%. Yep. Awesome. I think Josh Brolin or anybody

01:30:26.279 --> 01:30:30.680
can do it. I would agree. I'm already interested

01:30:30.680 --> 01:30:35.090
in it. That sounds good to me, man. Yep. Yeah.

01:30:36.329 --> 01:30:41.210
I need to probably shut this down because I suddenly

01:30:41.210 --> 01:30:43.770
have to work tomorrow. So I told you about that

01:30:43.770 --> 01:30:48.810
before we started. So anyhow. Like I said, I'm

01:30:48.810 --> 01:30:55.710
well rested. Okay, good. Let's see. All right.

01:30:55.750 --> 01:30:57.649
If you want to do an extra one this week, let

01:30:57.649 --> 01:31:01.350
me know if you're well rested and want to. Honestly,

01:31:01.350 --> 01:31:04.359
I'm not. Okay, that's cool. Oh, yeah, that's

01:31:04.359 --> 01:31:05.960
right. You're going to go down to Palme d 'Itar.

01:31:06.420 --> 01:31:09.560
So, okay, cool. I'm going to go to Palme d 'Itar

01:31:09.560 --> 01:31:15.479
and spend the night. Okay, sounds good. Oh, hello,

01:31:15.659 --> 01:31:19.279
Albuquerque. We love you. Yes, hello, Albuquerque.

01:31:20.699 --> 01:31:23.020
Grandma Opal, glad you're doing better. Glad

01:31:23.020 --> 01:31:25.699
you're going to hear us. Glad that Jimmy is such

01:31:25.699 --> 01:31:30.180
a good grandson. We need to get some shirts printed

01:31:30.180 --> 01:31:32.970
and just send him one. And send Grandma Opal

01:31:32.970 --> 01:31:36.710
one, too, of course. So, anyhow, thank you, everybody,

01:31:36.750 --> 01:31:41.270
for listening. Good night, assholes. Good night,

01:31:41.270 --> 01:31:46.170
assholes. Oh, no. Looks like the show's over,

01:31:46.289 --> 01:31:49.670
kids. Mark has explosive diarrhea and can't afford

01:31:49.670 --> 01:31:53.029
a wireless mic. Fear not, assholes. They'll be

01:31:53.029 --> 01:31:54.789
back invading your ear holes soon.