WEBVTT

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Hey, you fucking derelicts. It's time for the

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Daily Douchebag Pledge. I, Joe or Jane Listener,

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hereby promise to download the show. I, Joe or

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Jane Listener. Hereby promise to grab other people's

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phones, unattended computers, public computers,

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and all of my work computers as well, and download

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the show from there. I, Joe or Jane Listener,

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hereby promise to make other people listen. I,

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Joe or Jane Listener. will hereby lie to everyone

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about how quality the show is. I, Joe or Jane

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Listener, promise to make all my family members

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listen and recite the daily douchebag pledge.

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And finally, I, Joe or Jane Listener, hereby

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promise to make the trek to Knobloch, Missouri,

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just to have a selfie with the Knobloch sign.

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Here at Two Douchebags and a Microphone, we don't

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stand behind our journalistic integrity. Go ahead

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and assume we got the story wrong. At least we

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admit it. Not like all those other guys. We can

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and will lie if it makes the story better. Two

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douchebags and a microphone. And now we look

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in on the adventures of the technical explanation

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guy. Why excuse me, sir. Could you please pass

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the Piper Negram? Do you mean the black pepper?

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Why, yes. Yes, I do mean the black pepper. Then

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just say the black pepper, you dumbass. Shit.

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Hey there, slap nuts. It's time for the Creeps

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Music News. Hey, my little pumpkin seeds. This

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is Johnny Rohypnol with your music news. Ozzy

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Osbourne in collaboration with Liquid Death.

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sold 10 empty crushed ice tea cans containing

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his DNA for $450 each. The cans were part of

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a promotion called Infinitely Recyclable Aussie.

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They have since sold out. The cans were sealed

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in lab jars and contain a sample of Aussie saliva.

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This is Johnny Rohypnol. That was your music

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news. And remember, bar chords are bullshit.

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Hey there, fuckstick. You're just in time for

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brand new feature news nobody gives a shit about.

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A goat farm in Montana has a parrot trained to

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call the goats in for dinner every night. Four

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out of five people surveyed said that two douchebags

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in a microphone podcast are more entertaining

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than a gum infection. The fifth one called the

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cops and we had to leave. Two douchebags, a microphone,

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and an effort to keep everything fresh. We offer

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you first world problems. Man, my internet is

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so slow. This is bullshit. How am I supposed

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to browse or get on TikTok with slow internet?

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I'm so pissed off right now. I don't know what

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to do. Your mama's so fat, she uses Google Earth

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to take a selfie. Ms. Gulkenstein was tired of

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Mark and Toe for making sport of her. Little

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did the douchebags know Ms. Gilfenstein was a

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voodoo high priestess when she was younger. She

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grew angry and cast a spell on Rob, changing

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Rob into a capuchin monkey. Mark took Rob to

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a local zoo so he could be with the other monkeys.

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Here are the adventures of Rob, the capuchin

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monkey. Shh, be very quiet. We're going to listen

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in as Rob the Capuchin Monkey tries to sell the

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rest of the Capuchin Monkey's Amway. Rob has

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always dreamed of becoming a Diamond Status Amway

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as a Capuchin Monkey. Little did our hero Rob

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know. All the great apes owned stock in Sam's

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Club and became violently pissed off when he

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tried to infringe on their territory. They promptly

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grabbed switches and beat his ass for three days

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straight. Rob could not sit down. Sir, I see

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your qualifications here. May I ask some further

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questions that could help me determine your employment

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eligibility? Yes, sir. I'm ready. Well, as you

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can see here, we have a large population of different

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ethnic backgrounds, sexuality, and ages. Are

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you by chance bilingual? Well, sir, I'm not sure

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why you need that kind of information, but, well,

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it was only one time in summer camp. I considered

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it experimental. Two douchebags and microphone.

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I'm Mark here in the Kansas City area at the

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Talk is Cheap studio. And I am Rob at the beautiful

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triangle arm of Lake of the Ozarks in the Duck

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Line studio. All right. So, Rob, you had a little

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float trip, huh? I know where that's at. It's

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more the Niagara River. Yeah, I did not leave

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the Niagara. Yeah, it's close to Bennett Springs,

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which is also the Niagara River. Literally right

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down the road, yeah. Yeah, yeah, I've been there

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before. It was a well -needed getaway, man. Good.

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Great time. Yeah, you sound excited about it.

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I was happy for you. That's excellent. Good.

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I'm glad you... Yep, I can tell. I can tell we

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all need that. Mine's coming in the middle of

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August. Going to go down to Eureka Springs and

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we're going to try to record there. And then

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hopefully we'll go to the lake house maybe some

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times in September. And maybe you can meet me

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there because it's only going to be about 20

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minutes from you, I believe. Yeah, yeah. So that

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would be great, yeah. Actually get to look at

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each other and go, man. Yeah, really. Look at

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each other and go, shit. We did not age well.

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No, I'm joking. Yeah, exactly. Sit there and

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secretly shake our head and go, shit, I thought

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I looked bad. No. Anyhow, so, well, I'm glad

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you had fun. That's excellent. Good. I've got

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some. Oh, that's what those things are about.

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I'll tell you what. I mean, even like a long

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time ago, a friend of mine, a severe thunderstorm

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came up and we were all in the trailer because

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there was like a backup trailer. We was down

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at Table Rock Lake and I was with some friends.

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And anyhow. A severe thunderstorm rolled up,

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about 70 mile an hour winds. And his tent was

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about ready to blow down. And he refused to come

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in the house. And he just stood there with his

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arms out like a cross with a tent blowing in

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the wind until it stopped. I'm sitting there

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going, what the fuck, Gary? Gosh. He was a trooper.

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Thursday night, I went out and bought a kayak.

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Uh -huh. Okay. Yeah. I was going to ride in a

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kayak. Cool. Oh, okay. And then we get in line

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to load up, and Jim looks at me. He goes, no,

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you're riding with Joey, which is his oldest

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daughter. She's like 42. Uh -huh. No, just my

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second cousin, no. Did you do any dives? No,

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I didn't. I was too busy having to dump out our

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boat every time we stopped. Our canoe was leaking.

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Oh, okay, okay. Okay. Yeah, it's beautiful down

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there. It's very beautiful. Cool. That sounds

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like a lot of fun. I'm really glad that you got

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to do that. All right, Rob, I've got a couple

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more Aussie things before we move on. Okay, number

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one, Google Aussie Osborne and look at the top

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of the screen. It's pretty cool. It's pretty

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cool what Google did for him. And so, anyhow,

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as I alluded to on my Facebook and Instagram

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post, I fell for it again, Rob. I was on a vintage

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rock paraphernalia page, and I mentioned my original

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1992 No More Tours t -shirt, right? So they plaster

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me with pics or it's bullshit. Well, I succumbed

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to the provoking, and I am now out of the group

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due to massive interest and constant hounding

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again. Will I ever learn, Rob? I've bitched about

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this before, remember? Yeah. Yeah. Well, I fell

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for it again. They kept screwing with me, and

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I'm just like, here it is, bastards. I own it.

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And then as soon as they're sure you own it,

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everyone tries to solicit it from you. Hey, hey,

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hey, I'll pay you this much. And I'm like, damn

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it. I did it again. So anyhow, I left the group.

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I'm like, no, I'm not putting up with this bullshit

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anymore. I just left the group and I blocked

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it so they can't find me because I don't want

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to get rid of it. I mean, anything short of like,

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I don't know, $100 ,000 or I don't know, maybe

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$80 ,000 or something. No, I'm not getting rid

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of it. I mean, everyone's like, hey, $50. I'm

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like, no, no, no, no. Hey, here's a kick in the

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ass. Hey, I got $100. Nope, I got a kick in the

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ass for you and $1. How's that? And I got one

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more Ozzy fact here. Apparently, Ozzy redid his

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will slightly, knowing his time was limited.

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He arranged to have a dozen black roses sent

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to Sharon once a week until she's no longer with

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us. How classy. Isn't that cool? Yes, that is

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cool. Yeah, I mean, there's no doubt they just

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loved each other. They're nuts about each other.

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And, you know, I mean, he was really sick. And

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he did, from what I read, and I think I believe

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it is a pretty credible source, said that he

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got on there and was like, nope, you know, I'm

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not leaving this world without leaving my beloved

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wife something to remember me by every week.

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Why he chose Black Rose is probably because it's

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why he's called the Prince of Darkness. Okay.

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Exactly. Yeah. Yeah, it's fitting for him. Anyhow,

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like Davey said, he was the most real, humble

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star ever. I mean, I met him at a record signing

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and then another time just by chance. And he

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is the most down -to -earth guy that will actually

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look at you and say, how are you doing? And mean

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it. Notice, get me out of here. Here's one of

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those people. He was real. And he was right.

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And like Davey and I were talking, we were lucky

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enough to enjoy him in his prime. I'm proud to

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say, and this isn't bragging, I personally saw

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him 16 times in concert. I finally sat down and

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added them up. Yeah, 16 times. And I would go

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into every place because I wrote them down. I

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was just curious. And I don't think I left out

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any. I thought about it, thought about it, went

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to sleep, woke up in the middle of the night

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and said, oh, yeah, Des Moines. Went to sleep

00:13:01.960 --> 00:13:05.340
again. Oh, yeah, Lampy. And I did all of that.

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And I'm pretty sure I got every one of them because

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I have vivid memories of all of them because

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that's just the way I'm geared. I can't remember

00:13:12.840 --> 00:13:15.000
two plus two, but I can remember an Aussie show

00:13:15.000 --> 00:13:19.970
in 1992. There you go. Yep. That's all. Yep.

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And I got an Alice Cooper fact for you here too.

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I mean, while we're talking about legends. All

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right. Okay. Yeah. Did you know Groucho Marx

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suffered from severe insomnia? And whenever this

00:13:32.710 --> 00:13:34.970
occurred, he would call his neighbor Alice Cooper

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and have them come over with a six pack and they

00:13:38.090 --> 00:13:40.090
would drink the six pack and watch old horror

00:13:40.090 --> 00:13:42.889
movies and bullshit until Groucho nodded off.

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True fact. Yeah, it is. True fact. Look it up.

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And you talk about another legend. That was Groucho

00:13:49.519 --> 00:13:53.220
Marx. That guy's comedy was just something else.

00:13:54.000 --> 00:13:57.120
Yeah, it was. Oh, wait a minute. I lied. I lied.

00:13:57.200 --> 00:14:00.480
I have one more Aussie fact here. More than 20

00:14:00.480 --> 00:14:03.259
,000... Rob, I probably stole this from you.

00:14:03.500 --> 00:14:07.519
I'm pretty sure you have this story, okay? So

00:14:07.519 --> 00:14:11.820
if you do, I apologize in advance. More than

00:14:11.820 --> 00:14:14.200
20 ,000 people have signed a petition calling

00:14:14.200 --> 00:14:17.600
for Birmingham Airport to be renamed Ozzy Osbourne

00:14:17.600 --> 00:14:22.460
International. Did you know that? You're in luck.

00:14:22.480 --> 00:14:25.460
I did not know that. Okay, good. I hate stealing

00:14:25.460 --> 00:14:30.340
your stuff. For anybody that goes to NRO campgrounds,

00:14:30.340 --> 00:14:34.679
there is no cell service whatsoever. Yeah, no,

00:14:34.799 --> 00:14:41.059
I said that thing about... You see, you're the

00:14:41.059 --> 00:14:43.240
big wrestling guy. You're the big wrestling guy.

00:14:43.340 --> 00:14:45.279
So I asked you about Hulk Hogan, and I'm like,

00:14:45.340 --> 00:14:47.840
wow, man, he must be busy. He never answered

00:14:47.840 --> 00:14:52.620
me. I didn't realize that. Well, I got up Friday

00:14:52.620 --> 00:14:56.519
morning. I was going to work 6 to 2 .30, 8 hours.

00:14:56.740 --> 00:15:24.480
Yep. I got down there early and got set up. I

00:15:24.480 --> 00:15:47.190
got down there about 4 o 'clock Friday. They

00:15:47.190 --> 00:15:48.750
said they were not going to do that, but the

00:15:48.750 --> 00:15:50.929
airport said it's looking into how they can honor

00:15:50.929 --> 00:15:55.269
the singer through terminal artwork. A Birmingham

00:15:55.269 --> 00:15:58.509
airport spokesman said, Ozzy Osbourne is an inspiration

00:15:58.509 --> 00:16:02.210
to so many of our region, proving that talent,

00:16:02.269 --> 00:16:04.929
hard work, and commitment can take you all corners

00:16:04.929 --> 00:16:09.639
of the world. He said in the coming weeks, we'll

00:16:09.639 --> 00:16:11.720
be looking at how we can celebrate his heritage

00:16:11.720 --> 00:16:14.940
and contribution to the region via terminal artwork,

00:16:15.279 --> 00:16:17.899
creating a greater sense of place for Birmingham

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and his fans. A petition has since been set up

00:16:22.039 --> 00:16:24.080
calling for the city's airport to be renamed

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in memory of the heavy metal legend. Within 48

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hours, it gained more than 12 ,000 signatures.

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Now it's over 20 ,000, and I think the last I

00:16:35.080 --> 00:16:41.299
looked is over 35 ,000. And they're not screwing

00:16:41.299 --> 00:16:43.480
around. They want it to be Ozzy Osbourne International.

00:16:43.539 --> 00:16:46.200
And I'm not convinced that the International

00:16:46.200 --> 00:16:50.340
Airport may not succumb to this. I mean, it is

00:16:50.340 --> 00:16:53.419
a huge groundswell. You can find it online. People

00:16:53.419 --> 00:16:56.120
are like, they're not outraged. They're not pissed.

00:16:56.240 --> 00:16:59.340
They're saying, please, in God's name, rename

00:16:59.340 --> 00:17:09.210
the airport. And I... Yeah, yeah, and this is

00:17:09.210 --> 00:17:11.769
what they wrote. They said, Ozzy Osbourne was

00:17:11.769 --> 00:17:13.970
the most important musician ever to hail from

00:17:13.970 --> 00:17:16.789
Birmingham. He rose to fame as the lead vocalist

00:17:16.789 --> 00:17:19.970
of the pioneering rock band, Black Sabbath, who

00:17:19.970 --> 00:17:22.710
invented the genre of heavy metal. Ozzy's influence

00:17:22.710 --> 00:17:26.009
on music and culture is undeniable. Naming our

00:17:26.009 --> 00:17:28.490
international airport after him would be fitting

00:17:28.490 --> 00:17:31.549
tribute to his extraordinary career and contributions

00:17:31.549 --> 00:17:35.839
to the arts. And they went on to say this. And

00:17:35.839 --> 00:17:37.940
this is true. And this is one reason why I think

00:17:37.940 --> 00:17:41.259
they may rethink this. Okay, Rob. Other airports

00:17:41.259 --> 00:17:44.019
in the UK are named after other famous children.

00:17:44.420 --> 00:17:47.440
George Best International Airport in Belfast.

00:17:47.519 --> 00:17:51.460
John Lennon Airport in Liverpool. So it's only

00:17:51.460 --> 00:17:53.880
right that we do this here in Birmingham in honor

00:17:53.880 --> 00:17:56.539
of Ozzy. Together we can celebrate the legacy

00:17:56.539 --> 00:17:58.740
of Ozzy Osbourne with the incredible influence

00:17:58.740 --> 00:18:01.920
our city has had on the world stage thanks to

00:18:01.920 --> 00:18:06.220
him. I think that that is so well written, and

00:18:06.220 --> 00:18:09.819
I think that that explained how other musicians

00:18:09.819 --> 00:18:16.079
of that magnitude, I mean, because at this point,

00:18:16.079 --> 00:18:20.740
you can say Ozzy Osbourne was, and still is,

00:18:20.799 --> 00:18:23.519
just as big as the Beatles. Not bigger, but just

00:18:23.519 --> 00:18:26.930
as big, right? Just a different genre. So why

00:18:26.930 --> 00:18:29.730
would you not? Why would you not go ahead and

00:18:29.730 --> 00:18:32.349
do that? I mean, who would not want to fly into

00:18:32.349 --> 00:18:34.549
Aussie Osborne International? They would get

00:18:34.549 --> 00:18:39.309
so many check -ins. Oh, yeah, they would. Yeah,

00:18:39.809 --> 00:18:41.769
you'd get there and go, oh, shit, I've got to

00:18:41.769 --> 00:18:44.970
check in. I'm at Aussie's airport. I mean, I

00:18:44.970 --> 00:18:47.289
would fly to England just to fucking do that.

00:18:47.990 --> 00:18:51.450
I would, too. That would probably be the one

00:18:51.450 --> 00:18:53.269
and only thing that would get me on a plane.

00:18:54.460 --> 00:18:58.059
But you see, that's why they need to rename it

00:18:58.059 --> 00:19:01.539
Ozzy Osbourne International. Yes, I think, yeah.

00:19:01.759 --> 00:19:03.960
You know what, Ozman, I hope you get it. I know

00:19:03.960 --> 00:19:06.420
that you probably don't really give a shit. I

00:19:06.420 --> 00:19:09.559
think you're in better hands now and not suffering,

00:19:09.720 --> 00:19:12.759
and we're happy for you, and we're glad you graduated

00:19:12.759 --> 00:19:14.619
this life. We're not glad we're not going to

00:19:14.619 --> 00:19:17.500
see you anymore or enjoy you, but we're glad

00:19:17.500 --> 00:19:19.599
you enjoyed this life, and I'm sure that you're

00:19:19.599 --> 00:19:23.400
enjoying paradise, and we'll see you on the other

00:19:23.400 --> 00:19:26.880
side. which I did on my post. Did you catch that

00:19:26.880 --> 00:19:31.140
song? Yes, I did. Yeah, only Aussie fans would

00:19:31.140 --> 00:19:35.920
catch that. So that's why I did that. So on to

00:19:35.920 --> 00:19:41.079
other garbage as we proclaim. A phenomenon called

00:19:41.079 --> 00:19:45.519
corn sweat could exasperate the impacts of extreme

00:19:45.519 --> 00:19:48.059
heat blanketing a large portion of the United

00:19:48.059 --> 00:19:50.660
States, according to experts. Now, I spoke of

00:19:50.660 --> 00:19:52.380
this a couple of years ago. Do you remember that?

00:19:54.940 --> 00:19:57.920
Yeah, yeah, I do remember something about that.

00:19:58.000 --> 00:20:01.579
Yeah, well, at the time I thought maybe it was

00:20:01.579 --> 00:20:04.339
kind of overblown. Well, now they're saying that

00:20:04.339 --> 00:20:09.099
no, this is true. The process known by the scientific

00:20:09.099 --> 00:20:14.559
term as vasper transpiration, I don't know why

00:20:14.559 --> 00:20:17.099
it's called that, is the natural process by which

00:20:17.099 --> 00:20:19.640
plants move water from the roots of the plant

00:20:19.640 --> 00:20:22.700
to the surface, according to Ohio State University.

00:20:23.529 --> 00:20:26.349
The water then evaporates into the atmosphere,

00:20:26.569 --> 00:20:30.910
making the local region feel more humid. So that's

00:20:30.910 --> 00:20:34.269
how come you can go to Iowa, Nebraska, Kansas,

00:20:34.549 --> 00:20:37.609
Missouri, anywhere with a lot of cornfields.

00:20:37.930 --> 00:20:40.450
You go to Oklahoma, it's humid, but not as much

00:20:40.450 --> 00:20:43.210
as here, not as many cornfields. You go to Arkansas,

00:20:43.349 --> 00:20:47.430
humid, but not as much as here, not as many cornfields.

00:20:47.430 --> 00:20:50.730
So it does make sense. And you get to Missouri

00:20:50.730 --> 00:20:53.150
or any of these states I just mentioned, And,

00:20:53.150 --> 00:20:55.250
I mean, it's just the humidity has just cranked

00:20:55.250 --> 00:21:02.190
up to fucking 100. And I remember, okay, I used

00:21:02.190 --> 00:21:04.289
to, I've been in cornfields, and you can literally

00:21:04.289 --> 00:21:07.470
see the sweat on the stalk. You walk through

00:21:07.470 --> 00:21:11.329
a cornfield, and I know you've done this before,

00:21:11.450 --> 00:21:14.289
Rob, because I've known you most of my life.

00:21:14.990 --> 00:21:17.450
You've been through cornfields, and when you

00:21:17.450 --> 00:21:19.670
walk through, you come out drenched, don't you?

00:21:28.170 --> 00:21:30.509
Okay, well, I used to detassel corn. Did you

00:21:30.509 --> 00:21:34.309
ever do that? Yeah, I've had to do that before.

00:21:34.670 --> 00:21:40.140
Okay, yeah. It used to be a good little moneymaker

00:21:40.140 --> 00:21:44.059
for younger, I don't know, teenagers or a little

00:21:44.059 --> 00:21:47.079
bit younger, maybe 12 -year -olds. But we used

00:21:47.079 --> 00:21:51.079
to sign up for a field. And if you take the tassels

00:21:51.079 --> 00:21:53.920
out of the corn, it becomes a different product.

00:21:54.019 --> 00:21:57.880
It's not like a food product for humans. It becomes

00:21:57.880 --> 00:22:01.039
more stock nutrient because you took the tassel

00:22:01.039 --> 00:22:04.859
out. And then that is turned into not only biofuel.

00:22:05.369 --> 00:22:07.829
But at the time, they didn't have too much biofuel,

00:22:07.849 --> 00:22:12.430
but it came into corn mush for animals and some

00:22:12.430 --> 00:22:15.990
petroleum products, okay? So yeah, but you would

00:22:15.990 --> 00:22:18.730
have to take the tassels out of the top to make

00:22:18.730 --> 00:22:22.390
that corn not yield a crop that was human consumable.

00:22:22.450 --> 00:22:24.890
I mean, you could eat it, but it's not good for

00:22:24.890 --> 00:22:27.990
us anymore. It's good for a different use. So

00:22:27.990 --> 00:22:30.490
they would pay people. They go, all right, I

00:22:30.490 --> 00:22:33.509
got 10 acres of this corn that needs to be detasseled.

00:22:33.869 --> 00:22:36.430
Now I think they do it with machinery. And you'd

00:22:36.430 --> 00:22:38.170
sign up and go, all right, sir, I'll do that.

00:22:38.230 --> 00:22:39.730
Well, how much do I get for that? Well, we'll

00:22:39.730 --> 00:22:42.289
pay you $400 to do it. And at the time, that

00:22:42.289 --> 00:22:45.809
was a lot of money to a kid. So me and my brother

00:22:45.809 --> 00:22:47.970
and my sister would sign up for this. We would

00:22:47.970 --> 00:22:51.069
go detassel corn, and we'd get our $400 and be

00:22:51.069 --> 00:22:54.329
happy. So we would go through these cornfields,

00:22:54.329 --> 00:22:57.369
and you weren't drenched in sweat. You were drenched

00:22:57.369 --> 00:23:01.089
in the water that was produced by the corn on

00:23:01.089 --> 00:23:06.230
the stock. And so, anyhow, but I have a plan

00:23:06.230 --> 00:23:08.490
for this, Rob, okay? They want to stop all this

00:23:08.490 --> 00:23:14.970
humility. How about corn deodorant? That sounds

00:23:14.970 --> 00:23:17.710
like a good idea. Yeah, yeah. You know, you could

00:23:17.710 --> 00:23:22.470
be like Right Guard for corn. Yeah. Yeah. Old

00:23:22.470 --> 00:23:27.170
Spice, corn edition, maybe? Or how about Secret

00:23:27.170 --> 00:23:33.690
for female corn? yeah yeah you know we could

00:23:33.690 --> 00:23:35.650
do the old spice or the right guard and they

00:23:35.650 --> 00:23:37.690
would have secret if it's female corn i don't

00:23:37.690 --> 00:23:39.829
know how you tell male and female corn but you

00:23:39.829 --> 00:23:41.990
know i mean we could leave it up to them we could

00:23:41.990 --> 00:23:43.730
just take it out there and go all right females

00:23:43.730 --> 00:23:45.869
grab the secret males grab you know the right

00:23:45.869 --> 00:23:50.390
guard or the old spice or whatever so i'm patting

00:23:50.390 --> 00:23:53.190
myself on the back so hard it hurts i think i

00:23:53.190 --> 00:23:56.920
think i came up with something um Okay, Rob,

00:23:57.039 --> 00:23:59.920
I hope I did not steal this story from you. And

00:23:59.920 --> 00:24:01.700
if I did, I'll shut it down and go to something

00:24:01.700 --> 00:24:05.720
else. A Branson couple was arrested after allegedly

00:24:05.720 --> 00:24:11.940
living in a Walmart attic for two years. Do you

00:24:11.940 --> 00:24:15.299
have that story? I do not have it. I read it.

00:24:15.339 --> 00:24:17.900
I do not have it. Okay, so go ahead and go with

00:24:17.900 --> 00:24:24.849
it. You're two for two. Yay, good. I mean, look,

00:24:24.930 --> 00:24:27.809
in a perfect world, we like it like this. We

00:24:27.809 --> 00:24:31.390
like the element of unknowing. We could get together

00:24:31.390 --> 00:24:33.410
before the show and go, hey, I got this story,

00:24:33.450 --> 00:24:37.069
this story. Why do that? Right? Yeah, we don't

00:24:37.069 --> 00:24:40.670
know. This is total ad -lib. Yeah. Total ad -lib.

00:24:40.849 --> 00:24:44.470
It makes it more fun. Yeah, it does. Makes it

00:24:44.470 --> 00:24:46.230
more interesting, that's for sure. Yeah, I think

00:24:46.230 --> 00:24:48.450
so, too. And whenever I listen back to it, there's

00:24:48.450 --> 00:24:51.109
a certain element to it that you get that I think

00:24:51.109 --> 00:24:55.160
is really cool. Okay, a couple has been arrested

00:24:55.160 --> 00:24:57.480
after authorities say they secretly lived in

00:24:57.480 --> 00:25:00.619
the attic space of a local Walmart super center

00:25:00.619 --> 00:25:03.940
for more than two years, completely unnoticed

00:25:03.940 --> 00:25:07.779
by staff. According to police, Todd McAllister,

00:25:07.920 --> 00:25:11.980
47, and Jessica Reams, 45, have been residing

00:25:11.980 --> 00:25:14.680
in a makeshift living area tucked inside the

00:25:14.680 --> 00:25:17.460
store's attic above the garden center and automotive

00:25:17.460 --> 00:25:24.730
section. The discovery came after an HVAC contractor,

00:25:25.230 --> 00:25:28.349
responding to a routine maintenance issue, stumbled

00:25:28.349 --> 00:25:32.009
upon what he described as a fully lived -in campsite,

00:25:32.009 --> 00:25:34.670
complete with a mattress, battery -powered lantern,

00:25:34.849 --> 00:25:37.789
storage bins full of clothes, and even a working

00:25:37.789 --> 00:25:44.009
hot plate. It looked like they'd been there a

00:25:44.009 --> 00:25:46.490
long time, says Sergeant Lane Holloway of the

00:25:46.490 --> 00:25:49.619
Branson Police Department. They had shelves organized

00:25:49.619 --> 00:25:52.420
with food from the store, books, clothes, even

00:25:52.420 --> 00:25:55.079
a small area where they were growing herbs under

00:25:55.079 --> 00:25:59.640
LED lights. They even had a garden. Oh, my God.

00:26:00.920 --> 00:26:04.299
The couple allegedly accused, or no, no, not

00:26:04.299 --> 00:26:08.440
accused, assessed. Man, I need to, I apologize.

00:26:08.579 --> 00:26:10.880
I need to replace the ribbon in that fucking,

00:26:10.980 --> 00:26:13.400
and it's not ribbon, the cartridge in that printer.

00:26:14.079 --> 00:26:16.940
The couple allegedly assessed the attic through

00:26:16.940 --> 00:26:19.839
an old maintenance hatch in the stock room that

00:26:19.839 --> 00:26:23.400
had long been sealed off from regular use. And

00:26:23.400 --> 00:26:26.440
hang on, I'm trying. The ink is like really light

00:26:26.440 --> 00:26:29.839
here. Investigators believe they would sneak

00:26:29.839 --> 00:26:33.240
down late at night to take food, hygiene products,

00:26:33.480 --> 00:26:36.400
and supplies, blending in with the late night

00:26:36.400 --> 00:26:40.940
shift employees. Someone thought they were stalkers.

00:26:42.730 --> 00:26:46.730
That is fucking... These guys are amazing. But

00:26:46.730 --> 00:26:48.849
you've got to look at their picture. Oh, my God.

00:26:49.349 --> 00:26:55.509
The lady has bat wings over each eye, a Joker

00:26:55.509 --> 00:27:00.750
-like sidelines on it, and lips, and it's tattooed

00:27:00.750 --> 00:27:04.470
on her face. You've got to see it. Yeah. They

00:27:04.470 --> 00:27:10.109
were curved. I'm telling you, take the 20 seconds

00:27:10.109 --> 00:27:13.490
to do it. It will be worth it. They were careful.

00:27:14.289 --> 00:27:17.789
Go ahead. Okay. They were careful, Holloway said.

00:27:17.950 --> 00:27:20.269
They didn't take much at once. We believe they

00:27:20.269 --> 00:27:22.910
used fake employee vests and timed their movements

00:27:22.910 --> 00:27:27.390
around security cameras' blind spots. Bravo.

00:27:29.130 --> 00:27:33.210
Yes. Look, I would let him go. I would say, you

00:27:33.210 --> 00:27:35.730
guys did this so brilliantly. How can we throw

00:27:35.730 --> 00:27:40.009
you in jail? You know? I mean, that's just me.

00:27:40.089 --> 00:27:42.630
The couple reportedly kept a journal documenting

00:27:42.630 --> 00:27:45.650
their experience with entries referencing store

00:27:45.650 --> 00:27:49.569
noise patterns, restocking schedules, and strategies

00:27:49.569 --> 00:27:54.130
for avoiding detection. One entry read, Day 614,

00:27:54.529 --> 00:27:58.109
we made it. Through Black Friday again, the noise

00:27:58.109 --> 00:28:00.650
was unbearable, but the snacks were worth it.

00:28:02.369 --> 00:28:09.039
How about that, huh? Yeah, I say. Oh, go ahead.

00:28:09.160 --> 00:28:13.400
I'll tell you, a year or two ago, I read a story

00:28:13.400 --> 00:28:17.660
about a gal that was living above a Walmart,

00:28:17.859 --> 00:28:21.660
some store. She was living up on the roof, had

00:28:21.660 --> 00:28:25.700
a big shoe. I think it was like a dollar. It

00:28:25.700 --> 00:28:28.759
was in the sign. They were living in the sign.

00:28:29.019 --> 00:28:31.740
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, and they had like the

00:28:31.740 --> 00:28:34.700
same thing set up. They had a little house. And

00:28:34.700 --> 00:28:39.250
then they went to... Yeah, they went to replace

00:28:39.250 --> 00:28:44.869
the sign, and they got busted. Pretty fucking

00:28:44.869 --> 00:28:49.609
cool. Yeah. You've got to give these people credit.

00:28:49.930 --> 00:28:52.609
I'm telling you. They were there for a while

00:28:52.609 --> 00:28:55.269
before they got caught. Two years. They were

00:28:55.269 --> 00:28:57.509
there for two years, and they figured out all

00:28:57.509 --> 00:29:00.250
the motion detections and the store patterns,

00:29:00.470 --> 00:29:03.630
and they had Walmart vests to fit in. I mean,

00:29:03.650 --> 00:29:06.470
it's brilliant. These people could do some, they

00:29:06.470 --> 00:29:09.589
could do something like maybe store theft prevention

00:29:09.589 --> 00:29:13.390
or something. They're so detailed at this. Right.

00:29:13.890 --> 00:29:16.130
If I was at store, I would hire them. I would

00:29:16.130 --> 00:29:19.089
say, hey guys, we want you. We're going to pay

00:29:19.089 --> 00:29:21.829
you to make sure that you can never get back

00:29:21.829 --> 00:29:27.490
in here and do this. Yeah. I mean, look, I mean,

00:29:27.509 --> 00:29:29.710
for an example, an old place I used to work at,

00:29:29.789 --> 00:29:36.150
they hired former OSHA. investigators, to tell

00:29:36.150 --> 00:29:39.470
them how to get around OSHA or how to not get

00:29:39.470 --> 00:29:43.250
fined by OSHA. It's a company. It's a company

00:29:43.250 --> 00:29:50.470
that ex -OSHA employees formed to help you not

00:29:50.470 --> 00:29:55.069
get fined from OSHA, you know, not to get nailed

00:29:55.069 --> 00:29:57.609
to the wall. Yes. So this is kind of the same

00:29:57.609 --> 00:29:59.690
thing. It's like you hire a criminal to keep

00:29:59.690 --> 00:30:03.650
you safe from other criminals. Actually, that's

00:30:03.650 --> 00:30:06.130
been a big thing for a long time. I've seen a

00:30:06.130 --> 00:30:10.150
lot of shows where they have burglars go in and

00:30:10.150 --> 00:30:14.009
show people how people break into their house.

00:30:20.769 --> 00:30:28.799
It's brilliant. Anyhow, so I move on here. The

00:30:28.799 --> 00:30:31.720
three -day festival of frisk play, tents, pole

00:30:31.720 --> 00:30:34.759
dancing, foam parties, mobile dungeons, and sex

00:30:34.759 --> 00:30:38.240
games like butt plug bingo. The annual festival...

00:30:38.240 --> 00:30:42.480
I'm going somewhere with this. The annual festival

00:30:42.480 --> 00:30:46.160
first began back in 2020 and is becoming bigger

00:30:46.160 --> 00:30:50.789
each year, much to the chagrin of locals. We're

00:30:50.789 --> 00:30:52.990
becoming known as the swingers capital of England,

00:30:53.049 --> 00:30:55.609
just because this festival, that's not a title.

00:30:55.630 --> 00:30:58.369
We want one anonymous resident told Southwest

00:30:58.369 --> 00:31:01.450
news service. It's mostly elderly people and

00:31:01.450 --> 00:31:05.250
families here. So you can imagine them, you know,

00:31:05.250 --> 00:31:07.690
spitting their tea out when they learned, you

00:31:07.690 --> 00:31:10.130
know, that they are, they are home of swing a

00:31:10.130 --> 00:31:15.809
thon. Okay. The, it is called Safford Shire.

00:31:16.509 --> 00:31:21.420
And it's a town in England. I mean, And so they

00:31:21.420 --> 00:31:23.640
picked this place out in the middle of nowhere.

00:31:24.779 --> 00:31:27.400
Or is it Sufford? Something like that. I think

00:31:27.400 --> 00:31:32.980
it's Sufford Shire or something like that. So

00:31:32.980 --> 00:31:35.119
anyhow, I didn't have it written down on here

00:31:35.119 --> 00:31:39.079
for whatever reason. So I probably forgot it.

00:31:39.480 --> 00:31:43.000
So they picked this place because it's a small

00:31:43.000 --> 00:31:44.660
town out in the middle of nowhere in England

00:31:44.660 --> 00:31:48.279
to have this big outdoor swing fest. OK, with

00:31:48.279 --> 00:31:50.539
everything that I just mentioned, but plug bingo,

00:31:50.640 --> 00:31:55.200
dungeons and all that stuff. OK, so, you know,

00:31:55.200 --> 00:31:57.019
what kind of tricks could they play on him to

00:31:57.019 --> 00:31:59.660
get him to leave? You know, the town just they're

00:31:59.660 --> 00:32:02.519
not thinking enough. Right. I mean, could they

00:32:02.519 --> 00:32:05.960
could they maybe release swarms of fleas or mosquitoes?

00:32:06.019 --> 00:32:08.079
You know, I told you about, you know, the old

00:32:08.079 --> 00:32:09.880
lady that ripped me off when I mowed her lawn

00:32:09.880 --> 00:32:13.259
and everybody did it. And I noticed her that

00:32:13.259 --> 00:32:16.859
she was watering her flower vase in front. And

00:32:16.859 --> 00:32:19.359
so when I called her a bitch because she wouldn't

00:32:19.359 --> 00:32:23.319
pay me, I noticed this larva in the swimming

00:32:23.319 --> 00:32:25.119
pool and I asked my dad, I go, what is that?

00:32:25.160 --> 00:32:27.380
And he goes, oh, that's a mosquito larva. Dump

00:32:27.380 --> 00:32:29.440
it. We don't want those damn things hatching.

00:32:29.460 --> 00:32:31.460
I'm like, okay, so that's like mosquito eggs.

00:32:31.680 --> 00:32:34.099
They'll hatch and become mosquitoes. Yeah. Yeah.

00:32:34.160 --> 00:32:36.779
So get it out of here. So I took a cup full of

00:32:36.779 --> 00:32:40.339
that larva and I went up there and I acted like

00:32:40.339 --> 00:32:43.099
I was apologizing to the lady. So I poured it

00:32:43.099 --> 00:32:46.240
in there, you know, in her pots that she watered.

00:32:46.980 --> 00:32:52.559
So that way, the larva would hatch. So anyhow,

00:32:52.700 --> 00:32:55.019
the larva did hatch because the water stayed

00:32:55.019 --> 00:32:58.250
just enough. to where it would hatch them because

00:32:58.250 --> 00:33:00.490
they're really close to hatching and i seen her

00:33:00.490 --> 00:33:02.450
having a bug guy out there like a week later

00:33:02.450 --> 00:33:05.390
i'm pretty sure it was uh i'm pretty sure it

00:33:05.390 --> 00:33:09.250
was linked together so um so you could maybe

00:33:09.250 --> 00:33:11.549
do something like that right maybe build some

00:33:11.549 --> 00:33:14.049
mud puddles and put i don't know mosquito larvae

00:33:14.049 --> 00:33:17.630
in there or how about swarms swarms of fleas

00:33:17.630 --> 00:33:20.950
they live on the ground you know they're just

00:33:20.950 --> 00:33:25.169
not thinking enough you know um ghosts Apparitions

00:33:25.169 --> 00:33:29.829
at night, maybe, you know. I mean, I don't know.

00:33:30.869 --> 00:33:34.930
Itching powder all over the ground. I mean, I

00:33:34.930 --> 00:33:37.150
think there's things they could do. Poison ivy

00:33:37.150 --> 00:33:43.269
under the blankets. Pillows. You know, but if

00:33:43.269 --> 00:33:45.789
you do this, make sure you have a bucket of Clorox

00:33:45.789 --> 00:33:50.740
and double up on the gloves. Right? I mean, other

00:33:50.740 --> 00:33:53.299
than that, they can't get rid of the people.

00:33:53.359 --> 00:33:54.980
It's perfectly legal to do what they're doing.

00:33:55.039 --> 00:33:58.720
They have a permit. I feel for them, though.

00:33:58.880 --> 00:34:03.099
That would completely suck. I have more stuff,

00:34:03.220 --> 00:34:05.619
but Rob, we're going to turn it over to you if

00:34:05.619 --> 00:34:08.380
you have some stories you want to get to. Yeah,

00:34:08.380 --> 00:34:12.760
I want to get my one and only awesome story out

00:34:12.760 --> 00:34:22.739
of the way. Oh, awesome. Good, good. I think

00:34:22.739 --> 00:34:25.260
I got what you mean. Rob, I think I know what

00:34:25.260 --> 00:34:29.460
you're saying, but proceed, please. As the rock

00:34:29.460 --> 00:34:32.699
world and bands alike mourn Ozzy Osbourne's death,

00:34:33.019 --> 00:34:37.480
some of his peers teamed up to pay tribute. On

00:34:37.480 --> 00:34:40.719
Friday, Johnny Depp joined Alice Cooper on stage

00:34:40.719 --> 00:34:43.980
with guitar in hand, accompanying the singer

00:34:43.980 --> 00:34:47.739
for his cover of Black Sabbath's 1970 single

00:34:47.739 --> 00:34:53.880
Paranoid. Did you hear that, Rob? It's excellent.

00:35:00.659 --> 00:35:26.400
Wow. It is very cool. Listen to it. Alice Cooper

00:35:26.400 --> 00:35:29.679
is quite emotional when he's singing it. I mean,

00:35:29.699 --> 00:35:31.739
they were good friends. They loved each other.

00:35:32.400 --> 00:35:34.599
It's really good. And Johnny Depp loved Ozzy

00:35:34.599 --> 00:35:37.000
and he's playing his ass off. People that say

00:35:37.000 --> 00:35:39.559
that Johnny Depp can't play guitar are morons.

00:35:39.699 --> 00:35:42.719
He can play. No, he can't. He's good. He can't

00:35:42.719 --> 00:35:45.019
play. He's good. I've read this stuff all over.

00:35:45.059 --> 00:35:47.579
Oh, he can't play. He's out of tune. I'm like,

00:35:47.639 --> 00:35:51.530
no, he's not. And even if he was. virtually every

00:35:51.530 --> 00:35:54.690
guitarist is out of tune on something you know

00:35:54.690 --> 00:35:57.969
it's especially in concert you really can't keep

00:35:57.969 --> 00:36:01.489
them tuned moving around fucking dive bombing

00:36:01.489 --> 00:36:04.329
fucking tremolos you really can't keep them tuned

00:36:04.329 --> 00:36:06.550
and you can only go get a new guitar every so

00:36:06.550 --> 00:36:10.829
often that's tuned up so anyhow people are idiots

00:36:10.829 --> 00:36:13.769
that's just all there is to it so um well should

00:36:13.769 --> 00:36:17.409
we uh come back with some emails sounds good

00:36:17.409 --> 00:36:26.309
to me all right we shall be right back Hey, my

00:36:26.309 --> 00:36:29.070
fellow heavy breeders, this is Dash Riptide,

00:36:29.190 --> 00:36:35.829
your music news. Rob Halford, the legendary singer

00:36:35.829 --> 00:36:38.909
of Judas Priest, now has his very own action

00:36:38.909 --> 00:36:42.190
figure on sale. This is from McFarlane Toys.

00:36:42.230 --> 00:36:46.329
It sells for $34 .99, and even Halford's action

00:36:46.329 --> 00:36:50.030
figure is taller than Udo Dirk -Snyder. This

00:36:50.030 --> 00:36:53.010
is Dash Riptide, and that was your music news.

00:36:53.639 --> 00:36:56.099
If it's too loud, you probably have ear damage,

00:36:56.239 --> 00:37:05.940
just like me. So you want proof that we love

00:37:05.940 --> 00:37:07.980
you here at QD Spades and Microfilm Central?

00:37:08.679 --> 00:37:11.239
Here's a proof right here about the drink of

00:37:11.239 --> 00:37:14.900
the week. How to make the famous Carnival Cruise

00:37:14.900 --> 00:37:18.420
Line Miami Vice frozen drink. Two ounces Bacardi

00:37:18.420 --> 00:37:22.400
one, seven ounces frozen pina colada mix. three

00:37:22.400 --> 00:37:25.179
ounces strawberry daiquiri mix, half a hurricane

00:37:25.179 --> 00:37:27.980
glass of ice. Blend it all together and serve

00:37:27.980 --> 00:37:30.280
with a slice of pineapple and a maraschino cherry

00:37:30.280 --> 00:37:35.099
on top. Bam, there you go. Miami Vice, Carmel

00:37:35.099 --> 00:37:40.360
style. Next up, things overheard in hell. The

00:37:40.360 --> 00:37:45.239
only water that's available here in hell is sulfur

00:37:45.239 --> 00:37:51.610
well water. Hello there, this is Jeremy Filthbag

00:37:51.610 --> 00:37:55.130
from the legendary band Fuck Hummer. I would

00:37:55.130 --> 00:37:58.630
like to welcome you to the worst show ever, to

00:37:58.630 --> 00:38:01.869
Douchebags and Microphone Podcast. We would do

00:38:01.869 --> 00:38:04.369
a song for them, but they suck, and we don't

00:38:04.369 --> 00:38:06.269
want to be associated with them. The only reason

00:38:06.269 --> 00:38:08.050
I'm doing this right now is because they paid

00:38:08.050 --> 00:38:57.829
me. Two Dish Bags and Microphone is the only

00:38:57.829 --> 00:39:00.909
podcast available anywhere with gusto. That's

00:39:00.909 --> 00:39:04.630
right, I said gusto. Gusto is a magical ingredient

00:39:04.630 --> 00:39:07.130
in Schlitz beer that makes it so damn delicious.

00:39:07.489 --> 00:39:10.269
So enjoy a little gusto with your podcast today.

00:39:18.059 --> 00:39:21.639
Well, so have we. That's why we give you The

00:39:21.639 --> 00:39:26.699
Origin of. The Origin of Lysol. Lysol first came

00:39:26.699 --> 00:39:28.940
to prominence after it was used in Hamburg, Germany

00:39:28.940 --> 00:39:32.019
to help combat cholera epidemic in the late 19th

00:39:32.019 --> 00:39:34.380
century. It was later touted as a way to fight

00:39:34.380 --> 00:39:37.739
the devastating flu epidemic of 1918. An ad in

00:39:37.739 --> 00:39:39.980
the Los Angeles Times that year said, help your

00:39:39.980 --> 00:39:43.280
health board conquer Spanish influenza by disinfecting

00:39:43.280 --> 00:39:56.630
your home. Two douchebags and microphone. I'm

00:39:56.630 --> 00:39:59.030
Mark here in Kansas City at the Talk is Cheap

00:39:59.030 --> 00:40:03.610
studio. And I am Rob. It's a beautiful angle

00:40:03.610 --> 00:40:06.769
arm of Blakey Leo Sartins in the Duck Barn studio.

00:40:07.309 --> 00:40:10.469
All right. You know, we keep adding stuff to

00:40:10.469 --> 00:40:14.449
your intro. It's going to eventually get to like

00:40:14.449 --> 00:40:20.250
10 minutes. Hey, I'll take all the time I can

00:40:20.250 --> 00:40:22.730
get. All right. Cool. All right. We'll find more.

00:40:24.130 --> 00:40:26.250
I don't know what to do after the wah -wah, but

00:40:26.250 --> 00:40:31.849
we'll figure it out. Okay. Now, this was sent

00:40:31.849 --> 00:40:36.730
from Ronnie in Tulsa, the Tulsa King. This is

00:40:36.730 --> 00:40:38.230
a question that's been going around the Internet

00:40:38.230 --> 00:40:40.309
for quite a while, and he knows that, and I know

00:40:40.309 --> 00:40:43.909
that, and we all know this, okay? People have

00:40:43.909 --> 00:40:46.309
posted it, should they quit, stuff like that.

00:40:47.030 --> 00:40:50.780
Okay, so. Hey guys, if Motley Crue disbanded

00:40:50.780 --> 00:40:53.400
and quit right now and said it was due to the

00:40:53.400 --> 00:40:55.900
band missing Mick and Vince being a fat piece

00:40:55.900 --> 00:40:58.699
of crap, would they have salvaged their royalty

00:40:58.699 --> 00:41:01.679
in the rock realm? Ronnie and Tulsa, the Tulsa

00:41:01.679 --> 00:41:05.179
King. P .S. I turned down the promotion to stay

00:41:05.179 --> 00:41:09.539
in Tulsa. Love to you all. R .I .P. Ozzy. I'm

00:41:09.539 --> 00:41:11.280
glad you're staying in Tulsa. That gives us a

00:41:11.280 --> 00:41:12.920
better chance of meeting you because you're much

00:41:12.920 --> 00:41:17.650
closer. And I know you love Tulsa. And, Rob,

00:41:17.829 --> 00:41:22.849
I will let you go first. Did they salvage their

00:41:22.849 --> 00:41:30.489
royalty, their place in the elite hard rock bands?

00:41:30.670 --> 00:41:36.750
Go ahead. I don't think they do. I think it's

00:41:36.750 --> 00:41:41.610
went too far. Yep. My opinion. I think it's went

00:41:41.610 --> 00:41:51.690
too far. It's too late. Yep. They weren't even

00:41:51.690 --> 00:41:56.969
invited to Aussies last year. Come on. It's too

00:41:56.969 --> 00:42:02.849
late. It's too late. I agree with you 100%. They

00:42:02.849 --> 00:42:07.909
have trampled their legacy. They have shit on

00:42:07.909 --> 00:42:11.570
it. They pissed on it. They burned it. They threw

00:42:11.570 --> 00:42:14.849
it all out. I mean, it's destroyed. Nobody takes

00:42:14.849 --> 00:42:17.090
them for real anymore. And I can give you key

00:42:17.090 --> 00:42:20.760
points, okay? Number one, they haven't had any

00:42:20.760 --> 00:42:25.639
type of a well -selling album or even a hit in

00:42:25.639 --> 00:42:30.760
30 plus years, probably 40 years. They haven't

00:42:30.760 --> 00:42:33.699
written very many songs in that amount of time.

00:42:34.920 --> 00:42:39.159
Nikki Sixx has become impossible to work with.

00:42:39.219 --> 00:42:42.480
He's become a prima donna bitch. And the reason

00:42:42.480 --> 00:42:46.289
that's so bad is he has become... And this is

00:42:46.289 --> 00:42:48.130
like Howard Stern, too. This can go for Howard

00:42:48.130 --> 00:42:50.929
Stern. He's become the people that they used

00:42:50.929 --> 00:42:56.429
to make fun of. I remember I saw Nikki Sixx in

00:42:56.429 --> 00:43:00.429
Topeka, Kansas. And this was during Grunge. Grunge

00:43:00.429 --> 00:43:04.929
was huge. And he comes out there and he goes,

00:43:04.989 --> 00:43:06.989
he's talking about EMI records or something,

00:43:07.090 --> 00:43:09.570
some chick there. And he goes, and this bitch

00:43:09.570 --> 00:43:12.309
doesn't think we're relevant. So he said, so

00:43:12.309 --> 00:43:15.989
I got her voicemail right here. and he said you

00:43:15.989 --> 00:43:18.550
know hey everybody at the count of three say

00:43:18.550 --> 00:43:22.050
fuck you so you know this is how anti -establishment

00:43:22.050 --> 00:43:26.000
he was this was a record company exec that he

00:43:26.000 --> 00:43:28.880
did this to so he turned uh he turned the phone

00:43:28.880 --> 00:43:31.159
over when her voicemail was you know ready to

00:43:31.159 --> 00:43:33.820
record and everyone screamed fuck you and then

00:43:33.820 --> 00:43:37.380
he'd hang up so now you know bands can't hardly

00:43:37.380 --> 00:43:39.659
tour with him because he's like oh you can't

00:43:39.659 --> 00:43:42.420
do this you can't do that oh no no no don't use

00:43:42.420 --> 00:43:45.000
this you can't go over this amount of time he's

00:43:45.000 --> 00:43:47.719
become such a bitch about this allegedly that

00:43:47.719 --> 00:43:50.320
nobody likes to tour with him like i said godsmack

00:43:50.320 --> 00:43:52.440
wrote the song crying like a bitch about him

00:43:52.440 --> 00:43:56.550
um They tried to trample Mick Mars' legacy in

00:43:56.550 --> 00:44:00.630
the band, which is insane. They would have never

00:44:00.630 --> 00:44:03.570
been anywhere without that guy's guitaring. And

00:44:03.570 --> 00:44:06.469
they unceremoniously just said, fuck you, and

00:44:06.469 --> 00:44:08.230
tried to erase him from everything. They don't

00:44:08.230 --> 00:44:10.150
want to pay him anymore for all the songs that

00:44:10.150 --> 00:44:13.670
he helped them do. It's criminal what they tried

00:44:13.670 --> 00:44:16.130
to do to him. And that's why he has him in court

00:44:16.130 --> 00:44:19.199
right now. and then they bring John 5 in and

00:44:19.199 --> 00:44:21.579
act like nothing happened. They got rid of Vince

00:44:21.579 --> 00:44:24.639
Neal, and they had to come back with their tail

00:44:24.639 --> 00:44:27.059
between their legs because John Carabi, fine

00:44:27.059 --> 00:44:29.219
singer, great guy, but nobody wanted him in the

00:44:29.219 --> 00:44:31.360
band. If they would have changed the name of

00:44:31.360 --> 00:44:33.500
the band, it probably would have worked. But

00:44:33.500 --> 00:44:35.639
they called themselves Motley Crue. Motley Crue

00:44:35.639 --> 00:44:37.840
is with those four. So how come they brought

00:44:37.840 --> 00:44:39.679
back Vince, but they think they can do without

00:44:39.679 --> 00:44:42.300
Mick Mars? I mean, that's just some of the stuff.

00:44:43.360 --> 00:44:46.260
Right, right. Yeah, they have become lethargic

00:44:46.260 --> 00:44:51.159
and lazy and living on their past work. And they

00:44:51.159 --> 00:44:54.079
haven't come out with anything relevant in 35

00:44:54.079 --> 00:44:59.719
years. So, yeah, their legacy is destroyed. They

00:44:59.719 --> 00:45:02.000
did everything they could to fuck it up, and

00:45:02.000 --> 00:45:07.800
they did it well. So, Rob, agreed? I agree. All

00:45:07.800 --> 00:45:11.360
right, next one. Rob, do you have any extra loincloths?

00:45:12.059 --> 00:45:14.920
I was wanting to maybe use one to stencil Fuckhammer

00:45:14.920 --> 00:45:17.900
on it. I know what a huge fan you are of them.

00:45:18.739 --> 00:45:22.019
Fuckhammer was going to open for Ozzy, but he

00:45:22.019 --> 00:45:25.500
never heard of them. Mitch in Belton for the

00:45:25.500 --> 00:45:28.539
annual pirate salute to Rob Rad, the gym rope

00:45:28.539 --> 00:45:34.300
expert. Rob, what do you have to say to that?

00:45:50.030 --> 00:45:53.309
now Mitch knows that you went to and now you're

00:45:53.309 --> 00:45:58.010
back now you're in my hometown come on yeah at

00:45:58.010 --> 00:46:02.690
your school yes he's saluting you the gym rope

00:46:02.690 --> 00:46:09.309
expert were you good at gym rope actually I wasn't

00:46:09.309 --> 00:46:12.590
too shabby I kept up with everybody else he knows

00:46:12.590 --> 00:46:21.440
you he is great Mitch, keep it up. This is really

00:46:21.440 --> 00:46:24.619
good. This is like a mystery that we can't unravel.

00:46:24.900 --> 00:46:29.519
I love it. I ain't got a clue. I ain't got a

00:46:29.519 --> 00:46:34.340
clue. Well, I'm sure sometime, at some point,

00:46:34.360 --> 00:46:36.179
Mitch will come out with who he is, but until

00:46:36.179 --> 00:46:42.539
then, it sure is fun, isn't it? Yes, he is. At

00:46:42.539 --> 00:46:45.280
first, I thought he knew me. No, he knows you,

00:46:45.400 --> 00:46:47.619
and I don't know if he knows me or not, but he

00:46:47.619 --> 00:46:52.880
at least knows you. All right, next one. And

00:46:52.880 --> 00:46:55.559
this is a very nice one, and thank you. Mark,

00:46:55.880 --> 00:46:58.159
I work in radio, and you have a lot of talent.

00:46:58.400 --> 00:47:01.300
There's no room for creativity in radio anymore,

00:47:01.480 --> 00:47:06.039
but I just wanted to compliment you on your work.

00:47:06.179 --> 00:47:09.679
I also enjoy Rob. He is a nice little change

00:47:09.679 --> 00:47:13.099
up to your banter. Keep up the amazing imagination.

00:47:13.820 --> 00:47:17.260
Roland Branson, South Nashville. I looked up

00:47:17.260 --> 00:47:19.400
the name. Yes, he is in radio. And thank you,

00:47:19.400 --> 00:47:22.400
Roland. I'm not going to say anything more about

00:47:22.400 --> 00:47:24.820
it because I don't know if it would implicate

00:47:24.820 --> 00:47:28.739
anything. So, Roland, coming from you and from

00:47:28.739 --> 00:47:31.059
what I could tell, that is one hell of a compliment.

00:47:31.280 --> 00:47:34.500
Thank you very much. Thank you. It makes me feel

00:47:34.500 --> 00:47:37.420
like what we're doing here is special, right?

00:47:40.739 --> 00:47:44.320
Yeah. So, Roland, if you want to write me back,

00:47:44.400 --> 00:47:46.739
you got any hints, anything? You just want to

00:47:46.739 --> 00:47:50.039
talk? That's fine with me. I would love to pick

00:47:50.039 --> 00:47:53.260
your mind from what you know. So, all right.

00:47:54.019 --> 00:47:56.699
Douches, what an Ozzy tribute. I was floored

00:47:56.699 --> 00:48:00.159
by it. Mark's knowledge of Ozzy, Rob's too, is

00:48:00.159 --> 00:48:05.500
something extraordinary. I listened to the collage

00:48:05.500 --> 00:48:08.519
and the words three times. I was so amazed by

00:48:08.519 --> 00:48:11.650
it. Way to go, guys. Thank you, Jeff and St.

00:48:11.809 --> 00:48:16.349
Charles. You're welcome. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, thank

00:48:16.349 --> 00:48:19.269
you very much, man. And you're welcome. Once

00:48:19.269 --> 00:48:22.630
again, that's something we threw together on

00:48:22.630 --> 00:48:26.289
the fly like we did. Yeah. It's from the heart,

00:48:26.329 --> 00:48:29.150
so I'm glad you read it like it was supposed

00:48:29.150 --> 00:48:31.570
to be. I mean, you know, we're tributing a guy

00:48:31.570 --> 00:48:34.849
that was there for us basically our whole life.

00:48:35.489 --> 00:48:39.070
Yes. And we're not the only person. My God, I've

00:48:39.070 --> 00:48:41.409
never seen so many tributes, so many people,

00:48:41.570 --> 00:48:44.469
so many different varieties of people, so many

00:48:44.469 --> 00:48:49.889
different everything, ethnic, ages, all over

00:48:49.889 --> 00:48:53.210
the globe. People admired and loved the guy.

00:48:53.849 --> 00:48:56.849
And I mean, the outpour has just been insane.

00:48:57.130 --> 00:49:01.369
And you know what? He deserves it. And so anyhow,

00:49:01.590 --> 00:49:04.130
and then finally, you guys are true Aussie fans.

00:49:04.289 --> 00:49:06.849
Thank you for the heartfelt thoughts. I think

00:49:06.849 --> 00:49:10.150
most listeners feel exactly the same. Long live

00:49:10.150 --> 00:49:13.449
the Prince of Darkness, Johnny and OP. Yeah,

00:49:13.469 --> 00:49:16.869
Johnny and OP, thank you very much. Appreciate

00:49:16.869 --> 00:49:21.010
it. Yeah. Johnny's a good guy. We hope we'll

00:49:21.010 --> 00:49:23.030
get him on here one of these days. He said he

00:49:23.030 --> 00:49:27.269
will. So I know three -way calling finally, so

00:49:27.269 --> 00:49:30.570
we can do it. So anyhow, Johnny, whenever you're

00:49:30.570 --> 00:49:33.809
ready. But his name's not Johnny, which fucking

00:49:33.809 --> 00:49:42.550
bothers me. All right, Rob. Yeah, we know this.

00:49:43.190 --> 00:49:46.550
I don't know. Johnny is not in a field that it

00:49:46.550 --> 00:49:48.909
would bother him. I don't know why he doesn't

00:49:48.909 --> 00:49:52.969
use his regular name, but oh, whatever. It's

00:49:52.969 --> 00:49:55.730
all right. It's cool. We love you, Johnny. Rob,

00:49:55.909 --> 00:51:13.960
we turn to you. That's cool. I actually know

00:51:13.960 --> 00:51:16.260
somebody that got a bridge from 50 Highway. He

00:51:16.260 --> 00:51:19.500
lives over off of old 50 Highway. He lives over

00:51:19.500 --> 00:51:22.719
off of 7 and 50 Highway just to the south of

00:51:22.719 --> 00:51:24.619
that. He has a farm. I used to work with him

00:51:24.619 --> 00:51:29.340
all the time. His name's Steve. And they offered

00:51:29.340 --> 00:51:32.920
a bridge. You know, they used to be like access

00:51:32.920 --> 00:51:35.039
roads. They made them access roads. And then

00:51:35.039 --> 00:51:37.239
they just got so dilapidated, they just shut

00:51:37.239 --> 00:51:39.920
them down. And that was old 50 Highway when it

00:51:39.920 --> 00:51:42.320
was two lanes. And then they built a new one,

00:51:42.360 --> 00:51:45.159
four lanes, and they ditched the old road. Well,

00:51:45.219 --> 00:51:46.940
this was an old bridge that they wanted to get

00:51:46.940 --> 00:51:48.880
rid of, so they were offering it to anyone that

00:51:48.880 --> 00:51:51.559
could take it. So Steve offered a moving company,

00:51:51.760 --> 00:51:54.199
a big moving company, an excavating company,

00:51:54.260 --> 00:51:56.960
to take it out of there, put it on a flatbed,

00:51:57.059 --> 00:52:01.199
bring it to his large yard where he has a creek

00:52:01.199 --> 00:52:04.820
in it, and put it over the creek. And it's cool.

00:52:05.159 --> 00:52:07.840
And it's worked out ever since. It looks great

00:52:07.840 --> 00:52:12.510
on his land. And it also serves a purpose. And

00:52:12.510 --> 00:52:18.090
it saves taxpayer money for not having the state

00:52:18.090 --> 00:52:24.869
to have to do the work. Yeah, yeah. I did it.

00:52:25.650 --> 00:52:28.469
Yeah, that's a good idea to give it away. Yeah,

00:52:28.469 --> 00:52:31.929
yeah, Steve did it perfectly, man. It's really

00:52:31.929 --> 00:52:36.550
cool. Maybe I can get him to send me a picture

00:52:36.550 --> 00:52:38.590
of it, and I'll send it to you. It's really cool.

00:52:38.829 --> 00:52:42.059
All right. All right, Rob, you need a little

00:52:42.059 --> 00:52:51.119
extra cash? How about being a car sitter? Charlotte

00:52:51.119 --> 00:52:55.179
is her name. She's 29. A New York City transplant

00:52:55.179 --> 00:52:58.440
from Seattle charges her New York neighbors up

00:52:58.440 --> 00:53:01.920
to 50 an hour for a 90 minute car sitting session

00:53:01.920 --> 00:53:06.739
during alternate parking hours. That would be

00:53:06.739 --> 00:53:09.590
the designated dates for street cleaning. The

00:53:09.590 --> 00:53:11.949
rules on those days are during the cleaning times,

00:53:12.050 --> 00:53:14.869
you are to move your vehicle from one side of

00:53:14.869 --> 00:53:17.570
the street to the other, allowing the machine

00:53:17.570 --> 00:53:20.869
to clean the road. Anyone who does not comply

00:53:20.869 --> 00:53:24.010
with this will receive steep fines. So it's worth

00:53:24.010 --> 00:53:28.230
it. It's worth it for them to pay her. And she

00:53:28.230 --> 00:53:30.349
makes a lot of extra money doing this. She does

00:53:30.349 --> 00:53:32.989
this for a lot of people within her area that

00:53:32.989 --> 00:53:38.000
she can get to and moves her car for them. I

00:53:38.000 --> 00:53:40.139
would think that if I did this, I would probably

00:53:40.139 --> 00:53:42.219
do it for a short amount of time. And I think

00:53:42.219 --> 00:53:44.539
you know why, don't you? I would eat deviled

00:53:44.539 --> 00:53:47.099
eggs and drink malt liquor the night before.

00:53:47.300 --> 00:53:54.099
And I would hot box that car. Wouldn't you? Yes,

00:53:54.099 --> 00:53:56.719
definitely. You would just light that up with

00:53:56.719 --> 00:53:59.280
malt liquor and deviled eggs. Oh, that would

00:53:59.280 --> 00:54:02.679
be fun. Yeah, I'd even give them $10 off for

00:54:02.679 --> 00:54:04.739
the trouble of airing it out the car for hours.

00:54:04.940 --> 00:54:06.519
I'm like, look, I know you're going to have to

00:54:06.519 --> 00:54:09.099
have the car. I know you're going to have to

00:54:09.099 --> 00:54:11.019
air it out for a couple hours at least and maybe

00:54:11.019 --> 00:54:13.900
perfume it up. So here's $10 off. Instead of

00:54:13.900 --> 00:54:15.960
$15 an hour, I'm only charging you $14 an hour.

00:54:16.039 --> 00:54:19.460
That sounds fair, right? Yeah, that sounds fair.

00:54:19.679 --> 00:54:21.659
Yeah, I always wanted to be a valet so I could

00:54:21.659 --> 00:54:24.940
just take shits all over their cars and then

00:54:24.940 --> 00:54:27.099
hotbox them. And then when they get in, you know,

00:54:27.119 --> 00:54:33.110
that horrible... burnt baked fart smell hits

00:54:33.110 --> 00:54:34.889
them right in the face when they open the door

00:54:34.889 --> 00:54:43.349
so anyhow you know um yeah that's probably why

00:54:43.349 --> 00:54:45.309
i'll never do it it's because i'll never make

00:54:45.309 --> 00:54:48.829
money off of it because people will go that guy

00:54:48.829 --> 00:54:51.449
farts in your car and it smells horrible don't

00:54:51.449 --> 00:54:55.730
use them so um let's take our second break and

00:54:55.730 --> 00:54:58.269
come back with some more stuff that sound good

00:54:59.980 --> 00:55:08.199
That's what it's going to be. You watch the news.

00:55:08.539 --> 00:55:12.920
It looks grim. Is an apocalypse inevitable? We

00:55:12.920 --> 00:55:15.360
suggest you download all our podcasts beforehand

00:55:15.360 --> 00:55:19.840
and have multiple mobile chargers. We have the

00:55:19.840 --> 00:55:25.340
post apocalypse. First off, repair a bug out

00:55:25.340 --> 00:55:27.699
central location in case the family gets broken

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up. Make sure and use natural markers to ensure

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no one gets lost. Civil War time, the troops

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used a blackjack elm tree to meet up after battle.

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Grab a stake and practice making wild turkey

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tracks so you can communicate to the others where

00:55:42.889 --> 00:55:46.809
you are. Now it's time for Pick Up Lines from

00:55:46.809 --> 00:55:49.889
a Loser. Are you an appendix? I don't know who

00:55:49.889 --> 00:55:52.710
you are or what you do, but I feel like I should

00:55:52.710 --> 00:56:00.519
take you out. And now, Deep Thoughts with Mark.

00:56:04.320 --> 00:56:08.940
Coffee flavored water doesn't sound good. But

00:56:08.940 --> 00:56:13.920
that's exactly what coffee is. That is weird.

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Now, for a limited time only. Rob Rad's new video

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series. How to booty clap and twerk. That's right.

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learn how to booty clap with the best. Rob. Rob

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Rob Red jump up 25 feet and grab birds out of

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thin air with his mouth. With his mouth. Rob

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can now be a mentor for children's parties and

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bar mitzvahs. That's right. Come on and rent

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seven bottles of night cream and still break

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dance and moonwalk. Watch Rob Red. Fart down

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a building. Fart down a building. Rob Red assumes

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no responsibility whatsoever. He is not a babysitter

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and he doesn't give one hell of a shit about

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your children. Please remember to corral every

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little bastard you have. Before Rob gets there,

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and Rob will not put up with any back talk, he

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will promptly get them into place. Rob Rehag

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assumes no responsibility for anything that could

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be stolen from his visit. Rob Rehag has no responsibility

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whatsoever in any help him of any situation.

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Read a Rob today. All aware of the Amber Alert,

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right? Well, get rid of your disinfectants and

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Real hilarity. Parking space you see in the distance

00:58:51.929 --> 00:59:10.769
actually contain a motorcycle. Two douchebags

00:59:10.769 --> 00:59:13.489
and microphone. I'm Mark here in the Kansas City

00:59:13.489 --> 00:59:24.920
area operating at the Talk is Cheap studio. All

00:59:24.920 --> 00:59:28.239
right. Rob, you got something you want to go

00:59:28.239 --> 00:59:32.239
into? Yeah, first thing, do you realize how many

00:59:32.239 --> 00:59:36.980
times I hear myself say that in my sleep? I'm

00:59:36.980 --> 00:59:41.340
sorry. Yeah, it's got to be the same with me.

00:59:43.579 --> 00:59:46.559
I mean, it just kept getting added on to, added

00:59:46.559 --> 00:59:52.070
on to, added on to. But it's cool, though. You

00:59:52.070 --> 00:59:54.690
got it down to a T now. I mean, you just blow

00:59:54.690 --> 00:59:58.170
right through it. Like I said, I hear it multiple

00:59:58.170 --> 01:00:00.889
times in my sleep. How can I not have it down?

01:00:01.050 --> 01:00:59.909
I bet you do. Awesome. Okay. Cool. Yeah. I can

01:00:59.909 --> 01:01:03.989
respect that. Yeah, I was wondering why he went

01:01:03.989 --> 01:01:07.409
there, too. No, I did, too. Because, like, he

01:01:07.409 --> 01:01:09.650
was a huge part of it, you know, Blues Brothers,

01:01:09.829 --> 01:01:14.869
all that, yeah. That makes sense. I really respect

01:01:14.869 --> 01:01:19.190
that. Cool. I did, too. And also, a lot of times,

01:01:19.289 --> 01:01:21.250
I mean, kind of like Chevy Chase and the other

01:01:21.250 --> 01:01:24.650
ones, too, a lot of times when they go private,

01:01:25.639 --> 01:01:28.019
They don't wish to ever be in the spotlight again.

01:01:28.260 --> 01:01:32.900
Have you noticed that? Yeah, that's true. Yeah,

01:01:32.940 --> 01:01:35.559
there's something about that. Once they're used

01:01:35.559 --> 01:01:40.980
to becoming an average Joe citizen, they don't

01:01:40.980 --> 01:01:42.800
want anything to do with their previous lifestyle.

01:01:43.119 --> 01:01:51.920
So, I get it. That's cool. Yeah, I get it. I

01:01:51.920 --> 01:01:54.099
get it. I mean, I think that everything else

01:01:54.099 --> 01:01:55.719
would just be like, all right, you know, I have

01:01:55.719 --> 01:01:58.960
my fun. It's time for me to go sit on my, I don't

01:01:58.960 --> 01:02:02.400
know, land in, I don't know, Montana or something,

01:02:02.500 --> 01:02:05.159
you know, and just enjoy your life. You know,

01:02:05.159 --> 01:02:07.440
go fishing, whatever, you know, go on trips to

01:02:07.440 --> 01:02:11.800
Europe, whatever you want to do. I get it. I

01:02:11.800 --> 01:02:17.260
got a little comparison here. Okay, this is not

01:02:17.260 --> 01:02:19.750
meant to be really overly serious. It's just

01:02:19.750 --> 01:02:26.150
food for thought, okay? A Big Mac in 1990 was

01:02:26.150 --> 01:02:30.829
$2 .45. If you make it a value meal, it would

01:02:30.829 --> 01:02:36.250
be $4 .49. Now in 2025, the lowest price for

01:02:36.250 --> 01:02:38.909
a Big Mac alone was around $5 .79, but could

01:02:38.909 --> 01:02:43.510
go up to $7 .54 depending on the area. A Big

01:02:43.510 --> 01:02:50.949
Mac meal, lowest cost is $12. And it goes up

01:02:50.949 --> 01:02:57.210
to $19 .79 depending on where you're at. This

01:02:57.210 --> 01:02:59.570
illustrates the massive inflation the consumer

01:02:59.570 --> 01:03:02.550
deals with. The average three bedroom home in

01:03:02.550 --> 01:03:06.869
America in 1990 was $90 ,000 to $120 ,000. The

01:03:06.869 --> 01:03:09.389
average cost of a three bedroom house in America

01:03:09.389 --> 01:03:14.769
currently is around $402 ,000. The average wage.

01:03:15.449 --> 01:03:19.070
In 1990, it was $28 ,000 and change. The average

01:03:19.070 --> 01:03:24.489
wage in America in 2025 is $62 ,000 and change.

01:03:25.389 --> 01:03:31.610
Now, let's compare percentages. 145 % the average

01:03:31.610 --> 01:03:38.590
price of food increase from 1990 to 2025. 145%.

01:03:40.650 --> 01:03:45.289
153 % average price of a three -bedroom home

01:03:45.289 --> 01:03:51.949
from 1990 to 2025. The average price of gasoline

01:03:51.949 --> 01:03:58.329
has went up 167%. Gasoline in America was $1

01:03:58.329 --> 01:04:02.989
.15 in 1990. The current average price of gasoline

01:04:02.989 --> 01:04:08.869
in America is $3 .19. And then you look at...

01:04:09.130 --> 01:04:12.730
how wages went up and it's only in the teens.

01:04:13.889 --> 01:04:18.670
Everything else went up 145, 157%. Wages went

01:04:18.670 --> 01:04:22.829
up in the teens. So how are people getting by?

01:04:23.809 --> 01:04:30.449
Probably credit cards. So I didn't mean to cast

01:04:30.449 --> 01:04:32.590
a bunch of shit on this one, but I've had that

01:04:32.590 --> 01:04:34.449
for a while and I finally just wanted to talk

01:04:34.449 --> 01:04:37.079
about it a minute and say, you know, Yeah, the

01:04:37.079 --> 01:04:38.739
American people are getting squeezed, there's

01:04:38.739 --> 01:04:42.420
no doubt. Anyhow, Rob, go ahead and light this

01:04:42.420 --> 01:04:45.639
bitch up a little bit. Lighten it up. Oh, I will.

01:04:45.780 --> 01:07:03.780
I will. Okay, cool. Cool. Wow. Hmm. Yeah. Rob,

01:07:03.980 --> 01:07:06.019
I have a weird question, but I think you'll remember

01:07:06.019 --> 01:07:13.059
this. Okay. Atari's version of Pac -Man back

01:07:13.059 --> 01:07:16.920
in the day was completely different than the

01:07:16.920 --> 01:07:20.340
Namco Midway version. Or was it Midway? I forgot

01:07:20.340 --> 01:07:23.679
who did it. I think it was Namco did it. Remember

01:07:23.679 --> 01:07:26.539
the ones that you go to arcade? That Pac -Man

01:07:26.539 --> 01:07:29.460
was completely different. So the Atari -style

01:07:29.460 --> 01:07:32.059
Pac -Man that you can buy today, is that the

01:07:32.059 --> 01:07:37.179
Atari graphics or is it the Namco graphics? Or

01:07:37.179 --> 01:07:41.579
do you know? Well, that's got to be the Namco.

01:07:42.179 --> 01:07:44.539
Okay, good. Good, because that's the ones that

01:07:44.539 --> 01:07:46.719
you're used to going into the arcade and playing.

01:07:48.840 --> 01:07:51.699
Okay, good. Because I did not like Atari's version

01:07:51.699 --> 01:07:54.000
of it back in the day. I remember going, yeah,

01:07:54.019 --> 01:07:56.480
you can play Pac -Man at home. Then you get an

01:07:56.480 --> 01:07:58.920
Atari and it's like... This isn't the same. This

01:07:58.920 --> 01:08:03.920
is stupid. Okay. Well, they didn't have the technology

01:08:03.920 --> 01:08:07.119
at that point. Okay, so now they're going to

01:08:07.119 --> 01:08:09.079
go ahead and do it differently because they can.

01:08:09.260 --> 01:08:13.900
They're going to do it right. Okay. Yeah. All

01:08:13.900 --> 01:08:17.920
right, all is forgiven. All is forgiven. It is

01:08:17.920 --> 01:08:20.979
an anniversary special. Okay, yeah, that's good.

01:08:21.060 --> 01:08:29.379
All right. You ever hear of a fluffy Coke? Alright,

01:08:29.379 --> 01:08:31.460
just when I thought we couldn't get more creative

01:08:31.460 --> 01:08:33.760
than soda spiked with syrup and half and half,

01:08:33.920 --> 01:08:38.399
that's the dirty soda, TikTok had to go and prove

01:08:38.399 --> 01:08:40.939
me wrong, introducing the newest soda trend,

01:08:41.319 --> 01:08:46.079
Fluffy Soda. If the name doesn't already have

01:08:46.079 --> 01:08:50.880
you intrigued, let me explain. Fluffy Soda is

01:08:50.880 --> 01:08:54.819
a drink made with marshmallow fluff. The treat...

01:08:55.100 --> 01:08:57.680
Features a thick spread of fluff around the sides

01:08:57.680 --> 01:09:01.180
of a cup that's then filled with ice and your

01:09:01.180 --> 01:09:08.159
soda of choice. What do you think so far? Sounds

01:09:08.159 --> 01:09:11.979
alright. Yeah, to me, I wasn't overly crazy about

01:09:11.979 --> 01:09:17.460
it. Yeah. Okay. That's alright. Alright. Okay.

01:09:17.539 --> 01:09:22.359
Alright. Yeah. Okay. The treat... Still skeptical?

01:09:22.579 --> 01:09:25.319
Well, it turns out the creation is grandma approved.

01:09:26.920 --> 01:09:31.779
Opal's doing better. More specifically, it's

01:09:31.779 --> 01:09:35.119
Meemaw approved. The combination originally went

01:09:35.119 --> 01:09:38.060
viral after the TikTok creator, someone named

01:09:38.060 --> 01:09:41.659
Not At, or something completely stupid like At,

01:09:41.760 --> 01:09:44.340
made a fluffy coke with her grandma, Meemaw.

01:09:44.739 --> 01:09:47.779
Since the video went viral, Hundreds of creators

01:09:47.779 --> 01:09:50.300
have tried out the new trend with sodas like

01:09:50.300 --> 01:09:57.880
Coke and Dr. Pepper. My verdict is, I'm not really

01:09:57.880 --> 01:10:01.300
that big of a marshmallow fluff fan. And I'm

01:10:01.300 --> 01:10:07.760
thinking that it really kind of sounds like it

01:10:07.760 --> 01:10:11.520
would counter the flavor of the soda. You know

01:10:11.520 --> 01:10:15.800
what I mean? Yeah. Having marshmallow fluff before.

01:10:16.380 --> 01:10:19.260
and having, you know, Coke and Pepsi and Dr.

01:10:19.460 --> 01:10:22.359
Pepper before, I don't see how that could congeal

01:10:22.359 --> 01:10:28.619
and make anything very good at all. You? Yeah,

01:10:28.619 --> 01:10:32.479
you got a good point there. Yeah, to me, it sounds

01:10:32.479 --> 01:10:34.920
like it just would not be good. I mean, they

01:10:34.920 --> 01:10:37.880
would clash, the flavors would clash, and I think

01:10:37.880 --> 01:10:39.640
it'd be horrible, but I don't know, that's just

01:10:39.640 --> 01:10:43.020
me. Yeah, I'm still yet to try the dirty soda,

01:10:43.140 --> 01:10:45.829
and that sounds better than this garbage. Have

01:10:45.829 --> 01:10:48.890
you tried the dirty soda? No, I have not tried

01:10:48.890 --> 01:10:51.350
it yet, but you're right. I think I'd be more

01:10:51.350 --> 01:10:53.750
happy to try the dirty. Yeah, I would too. That

01:10:53.750 --> 01:10:56.210
sounds a little bit more like it might be more

01:10:56.210 --> 01:11:00.489
bearable or it might even be somewhat okay. So,

01:11:00.489 --> 01:11:21.810
all right, Rob, we turn to you. Okay. Okay. Oh.

01:11:36.909 --> 01:11:40.449
That's how come I saw his photo online a couple

01:11:40.449 --> 01:11:42.710
of times and I didn't, like, put it together.

01:11:42.989 --> 01:12:54.619
Okay. Very cool. Like I said, I've been on the

01:12:54.619 --> 01:12:57.539
water all weekend. I hadn't heard about it until

01:12:57.539 --> 01:13:04.479
after I got home today. Okay. Wow. Oh, Rob, I

01:13:04.479 --> 01:13:06.779
was going to ask you. I might as well just ask

01:13:06.779 --> 01:13:11.279
you on here. Were you much of a Hulk Hogan fan?

01:13:26.699 --> 01:13:30.939
I was not a big fan of him at all. And now he's

01:13:30.939 --> 01:13:34.920
supposed to be all -American, eat your vegetables,

01:13:35.279 --> 01:13:38.460
blah, blah, blah. Now he owns a beer company.

01:13:39.319 --> 01:13:43.960
That's a good point. You see, when he was in

01:13:43.960 --> 01:13:47.460
the ring wrestling, I loved him. After he left

01:13:47.460 --> 01:13:55.010
WWE, no. Yeah. You know what? I would agree.

01:13:55.149 --> 01:13:57.689
I wasn't a big fan of him anymore at all either.

01:13:57.850 --> 01:14:00.170
I mean, I liked him somewhat. He wasn't my favorite

01:14:00.170 --> 01:14:06.789
wrestler by any means, but I didn't dislike him.

01:14:07.729 --> 01:14:15.329
My thing was a few things. He had sex with Bubba

01:14:15.329 --> 01:14:17.869
the Love Sponge's wife at the time, Heather.

01:14:20.720 --> 01:14:23.899
Yeah, it was approved, whatever arrangement they

01:14:23.899 --> 01:14:26.680
had. I don't care. That's their business. Okay.

01:14:27.579 --> 01:14:31.539
Then that tape came out, and he hated Bubba.

01:14:32.340 --> 01:14:37.060
My opinion is, you do something like that, you

01:14:37.060 --> 01:14:39.880
take a chance of it getting out one way or another,

01:14:40.039 --> 01:14:43.119
whether it's tape or people talking about it

01:14:43.119 --> 01:14:46.329
or eyewitnesses or something. When people find

01:14:46.329 --> 01:14:49.409
out about it, you take that chance. So he did

01:14:49.409 --> 01:14:52.609
it. He did the crime, but he acted like he shouldn't

01:14:52.609 --> 01:14:55.989
have done the time. And he made millions off

01:14:55.989 --> 01:14:59.189
of that. He had so many lawsuits on that. He

01:14:59.189 --> 01:15:02.489
sued Gawker, shut them down, got a lot of money.

01:15:02.850 --> 01:15:09.130
Then he sued a media company. I think they fired

01:15:09.130 --> 01:15:12.729
Bubba over it, and I guess they had the tape

01:15:12.729 --> 01:15:14.649
on their servers or something, from what I understand,

01:15:14.710 --> 01:15:17.449
allegedly. And he sued them and got a big amount

01:15:17.449 --> 01:15:22.529
of money. To me, he was playing innocent and

01:15:22.529 --> 01:15:26.090
baby -facing when he had no business doing that.

01:15:26.329 --> 01:15:29.270
And then he hated Bubba over that. I thought

01:15:29.270 --> 01:15:32.800
that that was exceptionally disgusting. Because

01:15:32.800 --> 01:15:35.399
I think the only reason he was so appalled by

01:15:35.399 --> 01:15:37.779
it is he didn't want to turn over any money with

01:15:37.779 --> 01:15:39.800
it. You know, he used to get on Bubba's show

01:15:39.800 --> 01:15:42.100
all the time and ask for free tires and shit.

01:15:42.300 --> 01:15:44.619
I had no respect for the guy. I didn't like him

01:15:44.619 --> 01:15:47.319
at all. To me, in my opinion, I think he was

01:15:47.319 --> 01:15:50.899
a piece of trash. Yeah. Yeah. And then he goes

01:15:50.899 --> 01:15:53.380
out. Oh, yeah. Love God. Oh, yeah. Oh, hell yeah.

01:15:53.460 --> 01:15:55.380
Yeah. Oh, yeah. And then, like you said, he comes

01:15:55.380 --> 01:15:58.819
out with beer. Yeah. Okay. You love God so much.

01:15:58.819 --> 01:16:00.439
Why are you trying to sell beer to people so

01:16:00.439 --> 01:16:05.020
it can hurt him? I'm sorry. That, to me, is just

01:16:05.020 --> 01:16:10.500
a typical hypocritical two -face. You can do

01:16:10.500 --> 01:16:12.899
anything as long as there's money to be made.

01:16:13.960 --> 01:16:16.539
So, yeah, this is all my opinion. That's the

01:16:16.539 --> 01:16:18.380
way I feel about it. And I haven't liked him

01:16:18.380 --> 01:16:21.239
in a long time. And in my opinion, I could see

01:16:21.239 --> 01:16:24.479
through his bullshit. So, yeah, I know people

01:16:24.479 --> 01:16:26.930
like that. I've seen people like that. People

01:16:26.930 --> 01:16:29.989
go to church and pray, and then they go around

01:16:29.989 --> 01:16:32.869
and they screw somebody their last dollar. They

01:16:32.869 --> 01:16:34.550
won't pay them. They won't give them a raise

01:16:34.550 --> 01:16:37.069
so their children can eat right. And then they

01:16:37.069 --> 01:16:38.890
go to church and go, oh, I love God. Oh, yes,

01:16:38.949 --> 01:16:42.130
I love God. No, they don't. They love money.

01:16:42.770 --> 01:16:46.710
Money is their God. Only they do all this other

01:16:46.710 --> 01:16:50.630
stuff to act like money is not their God. So,

01:16:50.630 --> 01:16:56.140
anyhow, I'm off of my rant here. I think we all

01:16:56.140 --> 01:16:57.920
know them, and I think everybody knows who the

01:16:57.920 --> 01:17:01.659
type of person I'm talking about. Yeah, whenever

01:17:01.659 --> 01:17:04.140
people question them, they go, well, what about

01:17:04.140 --> 01:17:07.920
you making us obscene prophets? I'm a godly man.

01:17:08.159 --> 01:17:11.939
Oh, no, no, no, no. I'm just making a living

01:17:11.939 --> 01:17:14.600
for my family, that's all. It says you've got

01:17:14.600 --> 01:17:16.300
to do that in the Bible. You've got to take care

01:17:16.300 --> 01:17:19.739
of your family. So calm down there, son. I'm

01:17:19.739 --> 01:17:22.640
just doing what the Bible says. Oh, screwing

01:17:22.640 --> 01:17:25.430
people over and making them not live well? Ah,

01:17:25.510 --> 01:17:28.869
okay. All right. That's what it's about? I don't

01:17:28.869 --> 01:17:33.329
think so. So, another thing is, you know what,

01:17:33.390 --> 01:17:34.710
I'm not even going to go into it. There's a lot

01:17:34.710 --> 01:17:36.390
of other stuff I could go into, but I'm not going

01:17:36.390 --> 01:17:39.750
to. So, anyhow, Rob, do you want to keep going,

01:17:39.909 --> 01:17:43.970
or do you got a full day of work tomorrow? No,

01:17:43.970 --> 01:17:46.689
I'm on vacation, brother. Oh, okay. You want

01:17:46.689 --> 01:17:48.890
to keep going? I'm on vacation this week. Yeah.

01:17:48.949 --> 01:17:52.029
All right. We've got a little bit longer. I mean,

01:17:52.050 --> 01:17:57.550
yes, I am. Okay. I can relax. I can sleep in

01:17:57.550 --> 01:18:02.789
in the morning. Okay, cool. All right. Do you

01:18:02.789 --> 01:18:05.029
got a story or do you want me to go into one?

01:18:05.789 --> 01:18:07.789
No, I got one here. All right. I got one here.

01:18:08.010 --> 01:18:12.170
All right. Go ahead, my friend. Aaron Rodgers

01:18:12.170 --> 01:18:15.090
threw an interception with his very first pass

01:18:15.090 --> 01:18:22.250
at training camp with the Steelers. I love it.

01:18:22.350 --> 01:19:22.149
Me too. He goes on to say, anybody that's watched

01:19:22.149 --> 01:19:25.949
me practice over the years, you like to try certain

01:19:25.949 --> 01:19:28.989
throws at certain times, and nobody that's watched

01:19:28.989 --> 01:19:31.869
me in the games knows I've been pretty stellar

01:19:31.869 --> 01:19:35.369
taking care of the football over the years, the

01:19:35.369 --> 01:19:59.250
quarterback said. That is good, and that's classic,

01:19:59.390 --> 01:20:05.770
you know? Love it. To me, it's almost like he

01:20:05.770 --> 01:20:11.170
did it on purpose just to get publicity. Yeah.

01:20:11.729 --> 01:20:14.090
He probably didn't, but, man, think about what

01:20:14.090 --> 01:20:16.829
a good way to get publicity. Everyone in the

01:20:16.829 --> 01:20:18.449
world is going to be going, guess what Aaron

01:20:18.449 --> 01:20:21.329
Rodgers did? I don't know what. He threw an interception

01:20:21.329 --> 01:20:23.609
the first pass. Oh, no shit. Awesome, you know?

01:20:24.300 --> 01:20:27.659
So who knows? He probably didn't, but man, it

01:20:27.659 --> 01:20:29.380
would be a great gimmick if he did, wouldn't

01:20:29.380 --> 01:20:35.579
it? Yes, it would. All right. Pepsi, you know,

01:20:35.619 --> 01:20:39.760
the cola makers and other things, Gatorade, I

01:20:39.760 --> 01:20:43.479
forgot. They have waters, all kinds of stuff.

01:20:44.439 --> 01:20:46.899
They even have Frito -Lay brands. All right.

01:20:47.220 --> 01:20:50.880
Pepsi launches a new prebiotic cola after they

01:20:50.880 --> 01:20:56.109
acquired Poppy. um the other prebiotic another

01:20:56.109 --> 01:20:59.489
prebiotic brand on july 21st the corporation

01:20:59.489 --> 01:21:03.369
introduced pepsi prebiotic cola a product is

01:21:03.369 --> 01:21:06.529
calling a reinvention and an evolution of its

01:21:06.529 --> 01:21:09.609
signature soda and this is a good idea for him

01:21:09.609 --> 01:21:13.649
because the their signature soda is keeps sagging

01:21:13.649 --> 01:21:15.729
i mean i think it's number four now it went from

01:21:15.729 --> 01:21:18.890
a solid number two and they're kind of on coke's

01:21:18.890 --> 01:21:22.119
heels i mean No one's near Coke, but if anyone

01:21:22.119 --> 01:21:25.060
was close to them, it was Pepsi. And then they

01:21:25.060 --> 01:21:28.600
lost out to Dr. Pepper. Then they lost out to

01:21:28.600 --> 01:21:32.460
Sprite. Pepsi is losing favor in America, well,

01:21:32.579 --> 01:21:37.699
in the world. So they have to do something. Launching

01:21:37.699 --> 01:21:40.159
in two flavors, original cola and cherry vanilla,

01:21:40.359 --> 01:21:43.380
Pepsi prebiotic cola aims to reflect the tastes

01:21:43.380 --> 01:21:46.920
and values of modern soda drinkers who are increasingly

01:21:46.920 --> 01:21:51.010
buying healthier, or healthier -seeming sodas.

01:21:51.609 --> 01:21:54.710
PepsiCo says 12 -ounce cans of Pepsi prebiotic

01:21:54.710 --> 01:21:57.850
cola contain 5 grams of cane sugar, which is

01:21:57.850 --> 01:22:01.510
a great idea, cane sugar and only 5 grams, 30

01:22:01.510 --> 01:22:05.750
calories, 3 grams of prebiotic fiber, and no

01:22:05.750 --> 01:22:08.470
artificial sweeteners, which is another great

01:22:08.470 --> 01:22:14.189
idea. For context, a can of lollipop contains

01:22:14.189 --> 01:22:18.630
9 grams of prebiotic fiber. While a can of poppy

01:22:18.630 --> 01:22:24.850
has two grams. It's a good idea, but I still

01:22:24.850 --> 01:22:26.729
think I'm giving it about three to four months

01:22:26.729 --> 01:22:29.789
and it'll disappear. Because I believe this,

01:22:29.810 --> 01:22:31.869
Rob, and tell me whether you agree with it or

01:22:31.869 --> 01:22:34.470
not. I want to hear your opinion. I think that

01:22:34.470 --> 01:22:36.949
people that drink soft drinks don't give one

01:22:36.949 --> 01:22:40.069
ounce of shit about a prebiotic drink. What do

01:22:40.069 --> 01:22:46.239
you think? Yeah, that's why they consume 150

01:22:46.239 --> 01:22:53.500
calorie can with 36 grams of corn syrup in it.

01:22:53.760 --> 01:22:56.520
They obviously don't care about a prebiotic drink.

01:22:57.340 --> 01:23:01.020
You know, I think it's a great idea for Pepsi.

01:23:01.119 --> 01:23:03.220
They have to do something. I mean, like I said,

01:23:03.260 --> 01:23:04.960
they're falling out. I mean, they are really,

01:23:05.039 --> 01:23:07.500
you know, they're not in favor like they used

01:23:07.500 --> 01:23:09.739
to be. I mean, people just don't care for them

01:23:09.739 --> 01:23:12.460
like they used to. So they have to do something.

01:23:13.390 --> 01:23:16.550
This is not going to work. And I think the reason

01:23:16.550 --> 01:23:19.989
they bought the Poppy brand is, from what I read,

01:23:20.489 --> 01:23:26.510
they don't own the, they can't like really produce

01:23:26.510 --> 01:23:29.430
it because like the original formula, the original

01:23:29.430 --> 01:23:32.970
owner owns. And it's speculation like they bought

01:23:32.970 --> 01:23:35.609
it to end it, like no more Poppy or something

01:23:35.609 --> 01:23:38.270
like that. And then bring out the prebiotic or

01:23:38.270 --> 01:23:42.189
maybe call it Pepsi, Poppy, Poppy Pepsi or something.

01:23:42.289 --> 01:23:45.850
I don't know. So, anyhow, we'll see what happens,

01:23:45.890 --> 01:23:48.310
and we'll see if that's true about that. All

01:23:48.310 --> 01:23:53.470
right, Rob, you got something? Yeah, I do. Okay.

01:23:54.189 --> 01:23:56.970
Iconic country singer Ronnie McDowell shared

01:23:56.970 --> 01:24:00.949
a hopeful update following surgery to clear plaque

01:24:00.949 --> 01:24:04.770
from his carotid artery just weeks after suffering

01:24:04.770 --> 01:24:10.029
a stroke during a concert. Oh, wow. Okay. McDowell,

01:24:10.050 --> 01:24:15.479
75, was hospitalized. stroke on june 12th while

01:24:15.479 --> 01:24:18.279
performing at the summer solstice music festival

01:24:18.279 --> 01:24:25.359
in holy pennsylvania okay but i said that right

01:24:25.359 --> 01:24:31.659
um i said who cares they'll figure it out if

01:24:31.659 --> 01:25:18.210
not they can look it up Okay. Okay. No stint?

01:25:18.310 --> 01:25:34.869
Wow. Okay. That's excellent. He's recovering

01:25:34.869 --> 01:25:39.890
at home, getting better each day. So I'm glad

01:25:39.890 --> 01:25:42.729
to hear that. So am I. That's excellent. Good.

01:25:42.890 --> 01:25:46.729
I'm glad he's doing well. Yeah, he's known for

01:25:46.729 --> 01:25:50.609
songs like Older Women. Make Beautiful Lovers.

01:25:50.750 --> 01:25:54.909
Yeah, I know who he is. Yeah, I've always liked

01:25:54.909 --> 01:25:56.810
him. I mean, he's never been like the upper,

01:25:56.850 --> 01:25:59.869
upper guy, but he's always had good songs and

01:25:59.869 --> 01:26:02.819
people knew of him and, you know. Sounds cool.

01:26:02.859 --> 01:26:05.039
I'm glad he's doing okay. I thought he'd be older

01:26:05.039 --> 01:26:08.039
than 75, though. He'd been around forever. But

01:26:08.039 --> 01:26:12.079
that's cool. All right. 75. All right. Rob, you

01:26:12.079 --> 01:26:16.640
want to cut it out? Actually, yeah, I'm getting

01:26:16.640 --> 01:26:19.100
a little tired, brother. All righty. All right,

01:26:19.100 --> 01:26:21.020
brother. I only have one story left, so I was

01:26:21.020 --> 01:26:29.689
getting kind of worried. Yep. Yep. That's what

01:26:29.689 --> 01:26:32.210
we do here. We make garbage for your ear holes.

01:26:32.470 --> 01:26:35.789
It says it on my Facebook and Instagram page.

01:26:35.989 --> 01:26:39.590
So there you go. All right. Everybody. Oh, Grandma

01:26:39.590 --> 01:26:44.770
Opal is doing better. She's not out of the hospital

01:26:44.770 --> 01:26:47.989
yet, but she's doing better. So we are going

01:26:47.989 --> 01:26:51.010
to keep praying for her and we love her. And

01:26:51.010 --> 01:26:54.369
Jimmy said that he plays it for her. I think

01:26:54.369 --> 01:26:57.560
I already said that. He plays it for her. He

01:26:57.560 --> 01:27:00.020
comes in the hospital room, and he plays it for

01:27:00.020 --> 01:27:02.680
her out of his phone with a Bluetooth speaker,

01:27:02.920 --> 01:27:05.939
and she loves it. Only they have to keep it down

01:27:05.939 --> 01:27:08.739
a little bit because we do get naughty a little,

01:27:08.840 --> 01:27:12.739
and it's a hospital. He did mention that, and

01:27:12.739 --> 01:27:15.180
I forgot to try to keep it cleaner this time.

01:27:18.279 --> 01:27:22.420
It is what it is, Jimmy. Thank you. Anyhow, thanks,

01:27:22.600 --> 01:27:25.359
everybody. Shout out to Albuquerque. Oh, yes,

01:27:25.420 --> 01:27:29.899
yes. Thank you. Thank you all for listening.

01:27:30.119 --> 01:27:32.939
Have a good night. Good night, assholes. Good

01:27:32.939 --> 01:27:38.420
night, assholes. Oh, no. Looks like the show's

01:27:38.420 --> 01:27:42.039
over, kids. Mark has explosive diarrhea and can't

01:27:42.039 --> 01:27:45.460
afford a wireless mic. Fear not, assholes. They'll

01:27:45.460 --> 01:27:47.319
be back invading your ear holes soon.