WEBVTT

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Hey, you fucking derelicts. It's time for the

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Daily Douchebag Pledge. I, Joe or Jane Listener,

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hereby promise to download the show. I, Joe or

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Jane Listener. Hereby promise to grab other people's

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phones, unattended computers, public computers,

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and all of my work computers as well and download

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the show from there. I, Joe or Jane Listener,

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hereby promise to make other people listen. I,

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Joe or Jane Listener, will hereby lie to everyone

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about how quality the show is. I, Joe or Jane

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Listener, promise to make all my family members

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listen and recite the daily douchebag pledge.

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And finally... I, Joe or Jane Listener, hereby

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promise to make the trek to Knobloch, Missouri,

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just to have a selfie with the Knobloch sign.

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Here at Two Douchebags and a Microphone, we don't

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stand behind our journalistic integrity. Go ahead

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and assume we got the story wrong. At least we

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admit it. Not like all those other guys, we can

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and will lie if it makes the story better. Two

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Douchebags and a Microphone. And now, Deep Thoughts

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with Mark. Hmm. Coffee -flavored water doesn't

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sound good. But that's exactly what coffee is.

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Hmm. That is weird. Proof that we love you here

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at Q -Douche Bates and Microphone Central. Here's

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a proof right here. How about the drink of the

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week? Hey, my little bacon bits. Didn't you need

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to get to Smashville pronto? Did your friends

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start without you? We have your solution. Adios,

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motherfuckers. Adios, motherfuckers is one stiff

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drink. It should be used with caution. One half

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ounce of vodka. One half ounce of rum. One half

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ounce of tequila. 1 1⁄2 ounce of gin, 1 1⁄2 ounce

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of blue curacao, 2 ounces of sweet and sour mix,

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Sprite or 7 -Up, use a lemon wedge as a garnish,

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and put in a highball glass. Bam! There you go.

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The term midget originated in the 19th century

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derived from midge, a small insect, plus suffix

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et. There you have midge it. Initially, it referred

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to a small proportionate person. sometimes used

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in entertainment world. However, in association

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with freak shows and public displays of people

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with dwarfism, led to term becoming widely considered

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derogatory and offensive. Today, organizations

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like Little People of America advocate the words

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removal from common usage with little person

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or person with dwarfism being preferred. Like

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we give a shit. Hey there, slapmets. It's time

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for The Creeps Music News. Hey, my little pumpkin

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seeds, this is Johnny Rohypnol with your music

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news. During an appearance on July 8th episode

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of SiriusXM's Trunk Nation, Tony Omi spoke about

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some of his upcoming music -related projects,

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including a full -length collection of new material

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from legendary Black Sabbath guitarist. Tony

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said, as transcribed by Blabbermouth .net, Well,

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at the moment, I was doing my own album until

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Back to the Beginning event came up, and then

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of course I had to stop and concentrate on preparing

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for the Sabbath performance. but I'm continuing

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next week to try to finish off when I started

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with this album. And then who knows what I'm

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going to do. It's great, really. Because if something

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pops up, I'll do it if I want to do it. Asked

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if his upcoming album is a Tony Omi solo record

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with guests on it, like he's done before with

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the legendary 2000s IOMI, the guitarist responded,

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At the moment, no. I've got one singer on it,

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which I originally thought of different singers.

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But it started off as it was going to be an instrumental

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album, and it's gone from that into a full -fledged

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Tony Iommi project. But then I thought, oh, wait,

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I want to try it with a singer. So that's what

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I've been doing. This is Johnny Rohypnol. That

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was your music news. And remember, bar chords

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are bullshit. Next up, Things Overheard in Hell.

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The brand new Charles in Charge reboot is the

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only show available. All week. So let me make

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sure I have this correct. All the waiting for

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Epstein client list. All the promises of justice.

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All the huge names that were all over his private

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island. Suddenly, there's no client list? It's

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a well -known fact. Epstein kept a list of clients.

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So Ghislaine Maxwell is rotting in prison and

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has no memory of any of her visitors when she

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was one of the hosts? You mean to tell me she

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cannot spit out a few names? They barter with

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every other criminal. Why not her? I'll tell

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you why. Because power protects power. That's

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why. This bullshit dog and pony show will only

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go so far. Promises and convictions turn to dust.

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I'll even go one step further. Jeffrey Epstein

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is still alive. His death was faked. His friends

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made sure of this. The next time you think justice

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will be served will be a cold day in hell. Or

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just wait until his perverts do kick off. Then

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ask them the temperature in hell. This is Joshua

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Belmont, your food for thought man on the hustle.

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So I just realized a genius that gets absolutely

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no credit. His name is Marshall Taylor. He is

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credited with the first bag of salad mix that

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was bagged and sold. Yesterday was his birthday.

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I believe he is still alive. This guy's genius

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will never be fully appreciated. Before this

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ban, we settled for iceberg lettuce with maybe

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a couple of croutons and some cheese. Was Mr.

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Taylor satisfied with that? Hell no. He realized

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that Billy Americana would never go out and buy

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a couple of radishes, a couple of carrots, a

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head of purple cabbage, maybe snow peas, and

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possibly some cute romaine lettuce for extra

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bougie. Mr. Taylor, you should have a national

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holiday. Two douchebags and a microphone. My

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name is Mark. Oh, I'm here. I'm sorry. I'm here

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in Kansas City at the Talk is Cheap studio. Sorry.

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Go ahead. I'm sorry. You paused. I thought you

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were done. No, I was until I thought about it.

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I was like, wait a minute. I didn't say anything

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else. It's been a long day. So, please, go ahead.

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And I am Rob at the Duck Blind studio. All right.

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So. It's only Tuesday. It's already been a long

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week, brother. Me too. Me too. I'm going in at

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6 a .m. Oh, yeah. Yeah, gotcha. Yeah, not pleasant.

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So, yeah, that extra hour means so much in the

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morning, doesn't it? Oh, my God, yes. Yeah, people

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don't know it unless they actually work it. Oh,

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okay. Yeah, we're putting in an hour and a half

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overtime a day, but we're putting it all in in

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the morning and getting off at regular time.

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Yeah, because it's so damn hot. And next week,

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hundreds. Oh, yippee, I can't wait. Well, the

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only good thing about hundreds is, this is what

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I noticed back when I used to work in, you know,

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industries similar to yours, you know, construction

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and all that. Easier than low 90s. Because 100

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degrees always burns off the humidity. Right.

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Okay, yeah, you do have a good point. Yeah, but

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if you're outside, it's worse. Because that sun

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will just murder you. I mean, it takes it right

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out of you. But if you're indoors and have a

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breeze, you're usually better off than 91 or

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92, generally. But this year, I wouldn't guarantee

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anything, would you? Good point. Yeah. Anything

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can happen this year. Yep. Yep. Well, I got this

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new little gag, Rob. One of my favorite things

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to do now is I get an internet number like I

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do on cruises so I can call back home and not

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get charged a mint for it. And what I do is I

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have this internet number that I just got, free

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number, and I text people in the break room.

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I usually do something weird like, did you get

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the Sergio Valente trousers yet? A lot of people

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don't even know what the hell they are. They

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probably look it up afterwards, right? But remember

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Sergio Valente, they had the big fancy stuff

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all over the pockets. They're really gaudy looking.

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Yeah. Yeah. I asked, I won't say who it is, but

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I asked this person if they got the Sergio Valente

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trousers yet. And they immediately looked at

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me. And I said, what? And they said, Sergio Valente,

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you're the only asshole that would come up with

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that. I was like, oops. Then I looked at him.

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I said, I'm a 34 in bell bottoms if you find

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him. He walked off. So, hey, you know, the other

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ones that, you know, I did something else like,

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hey, could you get me that ball over there or

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something? You know, something stupid, just dumb

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shit, right? They sit there and they look around,

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and I look real intently on my phone like I'm

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trying to figure out some math or something on

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it. I'm going, oh, shit, damn it, and all this

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stuff. And they just gloss right over you. They're

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just kind of like, oh, Mark's in the middle trying

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to figure out something, and he's probably not

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smart enough to add it up or something. So I'll

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just leave him alone. I'll let him go over there

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and just, you know. He's going to need all the

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help he can get, so I'm going to leave him alone.

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And automatically, I'm off the suspect list.

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So anyhow. So they automatically turn, look around,

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and go, none of these people are smart enough

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to do anything like that. So it's probably someone

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I know outside of here. But if I really wanted

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to screw with somebody bad, I would turn them

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into those timeshare pukes, the ones that guarantee

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they can get you out of your timeshare for good.

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I'm afraid someone turned me in, and I don't

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have a timeshare. I have been getting fucking

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plastered with these calls. and I'd answer it

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because, you know, I got all that insurance stuff

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going on, you know, with Overland Park Police

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Department and all that, and there's been a lot

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of back and forth. There's a lot of red tape

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involved in it. So I'm answering my phone lately,

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right? And over half of the time, it's like,

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hey, is Mark there? And I'm like, oh, shit, I

00:11:16.159 --> 00:11:18.500
don't think this is, you know, someone I need

00:11:18.500 --> 00:11:21.080
to talk to, but it might be. I'm like, yeah,

00:11:21.120 --> 00:11:24.259
this is him. Hey, where's so -and -so? We can

00:11:24.259 --> 00:11:26.500
get you out of your timeshare. I'm like, I got

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a huge problem. What? I better go out and buy

00:11:29.789 --> 00:11:33.570
a fucking timeshare. What? I don't have a timeshare,

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dickhead. It says right. I go, I'm Mark. I should

00:11:38.909 --> 00:11:41.049
know if I have a timeshare. I don't have one.

00:11:41.210 --> 00:11:44.730
Leave me the hell alone. But, but, no. I don't

00:11:44.730 --> 00:11:47.370
care what your paper says. I don't care who came

00:11:47.370 --> 00:11:49.889
up with that bullshit. I do not own a timeshare.

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Don't call me back. A couple hours later, another

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call. And they always do the local calls. Right.

00:11:56.720 --> 00:11:59.659
To confuse you. They get a they get the same

00:11:59.659 --> 00:12:02.919
prefix or area code. They get the same area code.

00:12:02.960 --> 00:12:05.059
You're like, OK, this could be someone I need

00:12:05.059 --> 00:12:08.440
to talk to. So you answer it again. Is Mark there?

00:12:09.659 --> 00:12:12.559
Yeah, this is him. Just in case, you know, it's

00:12:12.559 --> 00:12:14.759
someone needing some information about that whole

00:12:14.759 --> 00:12:18.419
deal. Hey, Mark, this is so -and -so. Can you

00:12:18.419 --> 00:12:20.320
know you're having problems with your timeshare?

00:12:20.980 --> 00:12:24.379
No, don't have one. And it's fucking annoying.

00:12:25.070 --> 00:12:27.649
I don't know how you get on that list, but if

00:12:27.649 --> 00:12:29.850
you really, really hate somebody, find out how

00:12:29.850 --> 00:12:32.049
to get on that list and put their number and

00:12:32.049 --> 00:12:37.070
name in it. Because this is ridiculous. And,

00:12:37.090 --> 00:12:39.529
you know, I don't know. The only thing I can

00:12:39.529 --> 00:12:42.830
think of is I go on vacations a lot. Maybe they

00:12:42.830 --> 00:12:45.830
go by that. You know, hey, this guy goes on a

00:12:45.830 --> 00:12:48.110
lot of cruises and a lot of vacations. I'll bet

00:12:48.110 --> 00:12:51.860
you he has a timeshare somewhere. Nope. That's

00:12:51.860 --> 00:12:53.720
why I do go on vacations. I don't have one of

00:12:53.720 --> 00:12:55.559
those bullshit timeshares. Yeah, that's the way

00:12:55.559 --> 00:12:57.840
you go on cruises because you don't have a timeshare.

00:12:57.919 --> 00:13:01.440
You can't afford both. Yeah, yep, exactly. Yeah,

00:13:01.519 --> 00:13:04.519
I've never been a believer in timeshares anyhow.

00:13:05.000 --> 00:13:07.279
By the way, I bought a timeshare this weekend.

00:13:07.600 --> 00:13:12.039
Oh, were you? I did. I bought a timeshare this

00:13:12.039 --> 00:13:15.500
last weekend. Oh, you did? Cool. Where at? Yeah,

00:13:15.519 --> 00:13:20.340
it's a dome tent. It's a what? Dome tent. I can

00:13:20.340 --> 00:13:22.480
get in where I want. Oh, a dome. Yeah, yeah,

00:13:22.519 --> 00:13:28.419
yeah. That's a timeshare. It is. It is. And the

00:13:28.419 --> 00:13:31.320
cool thing is... I got a 14 -inch air mattress,

00:13:31.460 --> 00:13:34.559
too. Oh, yeah. Okay. That's a little 10 -inch.

00:13:34.659 --> 00:13:37.340
I spent the extra money and got the 14 -inch.

00:13:37.419 --> 00:13:39.519
Hey, you work hard. You need that extra air for

00:13:39.519 --> 00:13:43.039
your back, don't you? Oh, yeah. Yeah. That's

00:13:43.039 --> 00:13:48.139
cool. Awesome. Well, I'm going camping next weekend.

00:13:48.899 --> 00:13:52.440
I'm on a community trip with my cousin. Pay attention

00:13:52.440 --> 00:13:56.259
to the weather, Rob, okay? That's all I've got

00:13:56.259 --> 00:13:59.220
to say. In light of certain events that have

00:13:59.220 --> 00:14:01.519
been going on everywhere, just pay attention

00:14:01.519 --> 00:14:05.159
to the weather. We're going to be down at NRO,

00:14:05.440 --> 00:14:08.519
so it's like 30 minutes from here, so I could

00:14:08.519 --> 00:14:10.940
always jump in the truck and head home. Okay,

00:14:10.960 --> 00:14:16.639
good, good, yeah. No, that's cool. I don't know

00:14:16.639 --> 00:14:19.620
if I'm going to do this. I'm probably not going

00:14:19.620 --> 00:14:21.559
to do this on this podcast. I'm going to keep

00:14:21.559 --> 00:14:22.940
a little bit lighthearted, but I'm going to come

00:14:22.940 --> 00:14:27.340
up with a segment about the FEMA, how they released,

00:14:27.460 --> 00:14:30.080
I don't know, like 10 buildings in that floodplain

00:14:30.080 --> 00:14:34.820
and declassified them as floodplain and all those

00:14:34.820 --> 00:14:39.240
kids died. I don't know if it's directly, it's

00:14:39.240 --> 00:14:41.879
probably not directly related, but it's something

00:14:41.879 --> 00:14:44.080
to note going, well, why would you do that? You

00:14:44.080 --> 00:14:45.919
know, you're supposed to protect people. This

00:14:45.919 --> 00:14:48.200
is all my opinion, right? See what I'm saying,

00:14:48.259 --> 00:14:51.159
Rob? You're supposed to protect people. Why would

00:14:51.159 --> 00:14:54.340
you just say, oh, okay, it's no longer a floodplain.

00:14:54.419 --> 00:14:57.159
Don't worry about it. Then a couple years later,

00:14:57.299 --> 00:15:00.179
you know, all these kids die. And people, all

00:15:00.179 --> 00:15:03.919
kinds of people died, actually. So, anyhow, we'll

00:15:03.919 --> 00:15:10.759
go on here. I hear angels and hearts, Rob. It's

00:15:10.759 --> 00:15:14.019
about time. I know. Burger King has announced

00:15:14.019 --> 00:15:20.840
a new... A what? Nothing. Burger King has announced

00:15:20.840 --> 00:15:28.320
a new barbecue brisket Whopper. Solid. Ooh. Yeah.

00:15:29.480 --> 00:15:32.320
It's inspired by good old southern barbecue,

00:15:32.659 --> 00:15:36.120
whatever that means. The sandwich will feature

00:15:36.120 --> 00:15:39.059
a heap of slow -cooked beef brisket, crispy fried

00:15:39.059 --> 00:15:42.259
onions. Oh, yeah. and sweet barbecue sauce atop

00:15:42.259 --> 00:15:45.200
the chain's classic Whopper patty with all the

00:15:45.200 --> 00:15:48.200
classic toppings. Now, that sounds good to me.

00:15:48.659 --> 00:15:52.279
What do you think? That sounds like I have a

00:15:52.279 --> 00:15:56.480
trip to Lebanon in my future. I hear angels and

00:15:56.480 --> 00:15:58.799
hearts. This is Burger King of Lebanon. Yep,

00:15:58.799 --> 00:16:02.100
make sure they have it, because the rollout at

00:16:02.100 --> 00:16:04.080
first, I'm not sure if every store gets it at

00:16:04.080 --> 00:16:07.799
first. Oh, trust me, I'll call and find out.

00:16:07.860 --> 00:16:10.960
I drive all that way. Yeah. If not, just bring

00:16:10.960 --> 00:16:14.679
your own brisket and crispy onions and sauce.

00:16:15.080 --> 00:16:21.120
So anyhow, the new brisket top Whopper was actually

00:16:21.120 --> 00:16:24.259
created due to heavy guest demand as such. Its

00:16:24.259 --> 00:16:29.519
launch coincides with the launch of Burger King's

00:16:29.519 --> 00:16:32.860
new Whopper by you promotion. Beginning July

00:16:32.860 --> 00:16:35.879
15th, anyone will be able to submit ideas for

00:16:35.879 --> 00:16:38.879
the next great Whopper. with at least one presumably

00:16:38.879 --> 00:16:43.440
chosen and added to the menu. That sounds good.

00:16:43.759 --> 00:16:46.500
What would you do? Let me see. What could I put

00:16:46.500 --> 00:16:51.299
on a Whopper? Spam Whopper. Are you serious?

00:16:51.980 --> 00:16:55.720
Spam Whopper. Yes. I was thinking like smoked

00:16:55.720 --> 00:17:02.539
sausage. I know. And onion rings or smoked sausage.

00:17:02.899 --> 00:17:06.609
That's a long day, brother. No, it's... That's

00:17:06.609 --> 00:17:14.329
fine. Smoked sausage. Zesty, semi -spicy, semi

00:17:14.329 --> 00:17:24.329
-hot barbecue sauce. Onion rings. What else?

00:17:24.950 --> 00:17:27.630
That would do it right there. I'm good. I can't

00:17:27.630 --> 00:17:31.920
get too crazy. I have a GERD. A variation of

00:17:31.920 --> 00:17:34.099
the barbecue brisket Whopper was tested in Las

00:17:34.099 --> 00:17:37.940
Vegas and Minneapolis in 2023. This version was

00:17:37.940 --> 00:17:40.859
called the Bacon Jam Brisket Whopper. It had

00:17:40.859 --> 00:17:44.259
a smoky, sweet bacon jam, that sounds good, in

00:17:44.259 --> 00:17:47.480
place of the barbecue sauce. One ex -user tried

00:17:47.480 --> 00:17:52.400
the original interaction and was not, not interaction,

00:17:52.680 --> 00:17:56.839
incarcerated, you know what, forget it, the original

00:17:56.839 --> 00:18:00.119
one, and was not impressed. Flavor is so -so,

00:18:00.160 --> 00:18:02.500
they wrote. The bacon jam brisket whopper, not

00:18:02.500 --> 00:18:06.579
well liked. So we'll see. I mean, to me, I don't

00:18:06.579 --> 00:18:09.400
know how they could screw that up. I mean, the

00:18:09.400 --> 00:18:11.980
barbecue brisket one. It would be really hard

00:18:11.980 --> 00:18:15.700
to screw that up, wouldn't you think? Yeah, it

00:18:15.700 --> 00:18:18.940
would be. Okay. Well, on to other things. We

00:18:18.940 --> 00:18:21.140
have a Eureka Springs trip coming up mid -August.

00:18:21.960 --> 00:18:24.259
This time, let's plan on recording a podcast

00:18:24.259 --> 00:18:26.900
from Eureka Springs. I really want to test out

00:18:26.900 --> 00:18:31.089
the equipment. Okay. So I think we're going down

00:18:31.089 --> 00:18:36.210
there Monday. You know what? I'll get with you.

00:18:36.250 --> 00:18:39.289
It's August 19th, whatever day that is. That's

00:18:39.289 --> 00:18:40.970
when we're going to go down there. So, I mean,

00:18:41.009 --> 00:18:44.329
if you want to do two podcasts that week, that's

00:18:44.329 --> 00:18:47.549
fine. If you want to do the one for Tuesday and

00:18:47.549 --> 00:18:49.529
switch it out for whenever I go down there, we

00:18:49.529 --> 00:18:52.009
can do that. We'll talk about it. But I want

00:18:52.009 --> 00:18:55.410
to try this equipment out because I want to get

00:18:55.410 --> 00:18:58.299
the remote stuff set up because of this. When

00:18:58.299 --> 00:19:00.539
we start going down to the lake house a couple

00:19:00.539 --> 00:19:04.160
of times, I want to make sure everything is working

00:19:04.160 --> 00:19:08.980
properly, right? And that's when we'll finally

00:19:08.980 --> 00:19:11.180
both be together doing a podcast, which I think

00:19:11.180 --> 00:19:15.240
would be pretty cool. Yes, it would be. And like

00:19:15.240 --> 00:19:17.940
a lot of it is this right here. I mean, you have

00:19:17.940 --> 00:19:20.779
to adapt to your surroundings, as we found out

00:19:20.779 --> 00:19:23.079
at the city market doing so many ones out there.

00:19:24.460 --> 00:19:27.400
There's all kinds of noise, wind factors, everything.

00:19:29.029 --> 00:19:32.809
So I want to get there. And like one of the bed

00:19:32.809 --> 00:19:34.490
and breakfasts, we're staying at two of them,

00:19:34.549 --> 00:19:37.349
two nights at a bed and breakfast, and then the

00:19:37.349 --> 00:19:41.130
third night we're staying downtown at the penthouse

00:19:41.130 --> 00:19:43.589
suite where we've been. We love it. It's great

00:19:43.589 --> 00:19:45.130
at the Flatiron Building when you come in. The

00:19:45.130 --> 00:19:47.970
place you love, yeah. Yeah, and I like sitting

00:19:47.970 --> 00:19:49.930
out there and just watching everybody walk and

00:19:49.930 --> 00:19:52.769
do stupid shit and be drunk and what have you.

00:19:53.410 --> 00:20:00.309
It would be relaxing. Oh, it is. It is. So, anyhow,

00:20:00.450 --> 00:20:02.109
I'll talk to you more about it a little bit later.

00:20:02.150 --> 00:20:03.789
Maybe you can find your way down there or something.

00:20:04.109 --> 00:20:09.390
So, anyhow. The unfortunate thing is my vacation

00:20:09.390 --> 00:20:15.609
is the last week of this month. Oh, okay. Gotcha.

00:20:15.849 --> 00:20:20.089
Yeah. Yeah. Last week of July going into the

00:20:20.089 --> 00:20:22.910
first of August. Okay. Well, I'll just send you.

00:20:22.910 --> 00:20:25.150
I'm actually taking a week's vacation this year.

00:20:25.819 --> 00:20:28.720
Good for you. Good. You need it, man. I need

00:20:28.720 --> 00:20:31.480
it. Yeah, I need it. I've been going strong for

00:20:31.480 --> 00:20:35.099
too long. Yeah. Yeah, trust me. Like I said,

00:20:35.140 --> 00:20:37.259
I'm going to kick it off by going on that commute

00:20:37.259 --> 00:20:40.579
trip with my cousins. And then I have another

00:20:40.579 --> 00:20:44.740
day road trip that I'll get back to everybody

00:20:44.740 --> 00:20:49.700
off. I'm going to go. Okay. Yeah, I'll get back

00:20:49.700 --> 00:20:51.539
with everybody on that. It's something I set

00:20:51.539 --> 00:20:53.740
up I'm going to be doing. I'm going to do it.

00:20:54.490 --> 00:20:58.930
Okay, sounds cool. I love it. You know, I would

00:20:58.930 --> 00:21:00.990
have never been able to survive putting in glass

00:21:00.990 --> 00:21:03.650
and handrails and running up and down stairs

00:21:03.650 --> 00:21:05.930
with glass and all the heavy rails and all that

00:21:05.930 --> 00:21:07.990
bullshit and the metal posts and stuff that I

00:21:07.990 --> 00:21:10.569
used to put in if I didn't have vacations booked

00:21:10.569 --> 00:21:13.210
constantly. I needed something to look forward

00:21:13.210 --> 00:21:15.809
to while I'm out there on a job site for 14 hours

00:21:15.809 --> 00:21:19.269
sweating ham chunks and putting in these big

00:21:19.269 --> 00:21:21.789
pieces of metal and glass. If I didn't do that,

00:21:21.869 --> 00:21:24.849
I probably would have went insane. So, dude.

00:21:24.970 --> 00:21:28.029
Let's see, I'm one of those. When I'm at work,

00:21:28.069 --> 00:21:31.289
I go, go, go, go, go, you know? Oh, me too. And

00:21:31.289 --> 00:21:36.309
I'm just, I'm a borderline workaholic. I really

00:21:36.309 --> 00:21:39.369
am. Same here. That's most of what I've done

00:21:39.369 --> 00:21:41.829
today was work. I also believe you have to have

00:21:41.829 --> 00:21:44.349
a family life. You have life outside of work.

00:21:44.470 --> 00:21:48.430
I believe in that. You're right. I missed out

00:21:48.430 --> 00:21:51.410
on so much of my kids' life because I was working

00:21:51.410 --> 00:21:55.680
all the time. Yep, I was out of town so much

00:21:55.680 --> 00:21:59.160
for work. I mean, it's really, it kind of sucks

00:21:59.160 --> 00:22:02.819
because you see all these birthdays and where's

00:22:02.819 --> 00:22:07.140
Mark at? Oh, I don't know. He's in fucking whatever,

00:22:07.440 --> 00:22:11.019
Timbuktu somewhere. You know, and, you know,

00:22:11.019 --> 00:22:13.099
it really kind of depresses you. It's like, wow,

00:22:13.220 --> 00:22:15.500
I don't even want to count up how many of this

00:22:15.500 --> 00:22:17.900
and that I missed because I was supposed to be

00:22:17.900 --> 00:22:20.400
out of town for three days and I ended up being

00:22:20.400 --> 00:22:24.880
a month. So, yeah, you do have to watch. You

00:22:24.880 --> 00:22:27.960
have to have a steady balance, and that's where

00:22:27.960 --> 00:22:30.900
all these vacations come in. You do. Yeah. If

00:22:30.900 --> 00:22:34.680
not, your kids will hold it against you later,

00:22:34.799 --> 00:22:38.279
which my kids don't, because they knew that when

00:22:38.279 --> 00:22:42.279
I was around, I made up for it. Yeah, yeah, and

00:22:42.279 --> 00:22:45.279
that's the only thing you can really do. But,

00:22:45.319 --> 00:22:48.819
you know, this is... I was going strong the whole

00:22:48.819 --> 00:22:53.619
time. Oh, yeah. And the truth is, I mean, look,

00:22:53.819 --> 00:22:56.259
you can have the nicest house in the whole world,

00:22:56.299 --> 00:22:57.980
you can have the nicest car in the whole world,

00:22:58.000 --> 00:23:01.220
but if you're miserable, you're miserable. Nothing

00:23:01.220 --> 00:23:04.579
will help you on that level. The only thing that

00:23:04.579 --> 00:23:06.680
can help you on that level is to help yourself,

00:23:07.000 --> 00:23:10.380
and that is doing stuff like vacations or stopping

00:23:10.380 --> 00:23:12.859
for a minute and admiring the beauty around you.

00:23:14.019 --> 00:23:18.069
Yes. I've been doing a lot of that lately. Oh,

00:23:18.170 --> 00:23:21.990
it is. The earth is a fantastic, fantastic place.

00:23:22.950 --> 00:23:26.130
Not people. The earth. There's a lot of fine

00:23:26.130 --> 00:23:27.690
people out there, but there's a lot of idiots,

00:23:27.769 --> 00:23:30.029
too. We all know this. But the earth, if you

00:23:30.029 --> 00:23:32.329
stop and look and look at all the miracles around

00:23:32.329 --> 00:23:36.390
you, it's really kind of, I don't know, humbling.

00:23:36.769 --> 00:23:39.430
You know, you go outside and the trees are green

00:23:39.430 --> 00:23:41.569
and they're beautiful and they're huge. And I

00:23:41.569 --> 00:23:44.549
mean, you know, the grass is beautiful. The flowers

00:23:44.549 --> 00:23:49.160
that you put in are blooming. It's really a marvelous

00:23:49.160 --> 00:23:51.460
thing. And then I have to deal with insurance

00:23:51.460 --> 00:23:54.099
companies, and I forget about all that, and I

00:23:54.099 --> 00:23:56.700
get angry. Let's not go there. No, no, no. I'm

00:23:56.700 --> 00:23:58.660
not this time. I'm just having a little fun with

00:23:58.660 --> 00:24:04.200
it. So, because you have to. Yeah, in other words,

00:24:04.220 --> 00:24:06.579
you get brought back to reality. Yeah, you get

00:24:06.579 --> 00:24:09.579
brought back to reality quite a bit. And anyhow,

00:24:09.779 --> 00:24:13.230
the timeshare idiots. They're brought back to

00:24:13.230 --> 00:24:14.950
reality because, like I said, I had to answer

00:24:14.950 --> 00:24:20.609
my phone. And here they are. I'm like, I don't

00:24:20.609 --> 00:24:23.430
have a time share, you motherfucker. You knuckle

00:24:23.430 --> 00:24:25.829
-dragger. Get the fuck out of here. Forget my

00:24:25.829 --> 00:24:28.470
phone number. Don't forget about it. At least

00:24:28.470 --> 00:24:30.930
throw away your phone so you can't call me. So,

00:24:30.930 --> 00:24:34.430
anyhow. So the final night we stay there, I'm

00:24:34.430 --> 00:24:36.750
going to be at that Flatiron building. And I

00:24:36.750 --> 00:24:40.190
plan on trying a solo cast from there. I want

00:24:40.190 --> 00:24:44.829
to try our... podcast from uh the cottage that

00:24:44.829 --> 00:24:46.809
we the bed and breakfast that we rented for the

00:24:46.809 --> 00:24:50.289
first two nights because behind it has its own

00:24:50.289 --> 00:24:53.369
private courtyard right up against a huge cliff

00:24:53.369 --> 00:24:57.950
and you know i think that's going to be a great

00:24:57.950 --> 00:24:59.910
place to try to have one Because you're going

00:24:59.910 --> 00:25:01.890
to hear nature. You're going to hear a little

00:25:01.890 --> 00:25:03.890
bit of traffic off in the distance. It isn't

00:25:03.890 --> 00:25:07.130
too awful close to the roads or anything. And

00:25:07.130 --> 00:25:09.549
there's a lot of nature around us. And it's going

00:25:09.549 --> 00:25:11.789
to be really interesting because even if it's

00:25:11.789 --> 00:25:15.269
raining, you know, they have tables out there

00:25:15.269 --> 00:25:17.869
with umbrellas. And the cliff actually kind of

00:25:17.869 --> 00:25:22.529
swings over your patio. And you could probably

00:25:22.529 --> 00:25:24.529
go out there without the umbrella anyhow and

00:25:24.529 --> 00:25:27.390
not get wet. So it's going to be a pretty interesting

00:25:27.390 --> 00:25:29.470
thing. I'll send you pictures, and I'll put them

00:25:29.470 --> 00:25:33.289
up on the Douchebags Facebook page, too, so people

00:25:33.289 --> 00:25:35.769
can see what I'm doing. So I think it's going

00:25:35.769 --> 00:25:37.690
to be a really good gauge doing stuff like this.

00:25:37.750 --> 00:25:40.710
And then after that, I've got some ideas that

00:25:40.710 --> 00:25:43.769
I'll go over with you about. I mean, we're going

00:25:43.769 --> 00:25:46.910
to have to be free a little bit on this. And

00:25:46.910 --> 00:25:49.769
I know that you're planning on not working as

00:25:49.769 --> 00:25:51.650
much. I'm going to be getting more vacation here

00:25:51.650 --> 00:25:55.740
next year. I wouldn't mind doing a road show

00:25:55.740 --> 00:25:59.740
somewhere. Going out of town somewhere and doing

00:25:59.740 --> 00:26:05.400
a show from there. Go for it, man. Well, that

00:26:05.400 --> 00:26:08.299
was the original idea. Topher and I wanted to...

00:26:08.299 --> 00:26:10.920
The problem is we weren't independently wealthy.

00:26:11.240 --> 00:26:15.319
But we wanted to go to different cities and do

00:26:15.319 --> 00:26:18.759
podcasts from different coffee houses. So, anyhow.

00:26:20.659 --> 00:26:23.940
But the solo cast, if I do that from the Flatiron

00:26:23.940 --> 00:26:25.380
Building, it's going to be pretty neat because,

00:26:25.440 --> 00:26:27.720
like I said, it's in downtown Eureka Springs.

00:26:28.059 --> 00:26:30.380
There's people all around. There's a Basin Park

00:26:30.380 --> 00:26:32.900
right across the road. They play music there.

00:26:33.240 --> 00:26:36.059
There's a Basin Park Hotel balcony restaurant,

00:26:36.319 --> 00:26:38.759
which you could almost spit on from there, which

00:26:38.759 --> 00:26:40.420
is pretty interesting because people don't see

00:26:40.420 --> 00:26:42.240
you for some reason over there on your balcony.

00:26:42.579 --> 00:26:44.359
They see everything else, but they don't see

00:26:44.359 --> 00:26:46.559
you. They're over there chowing down. And it's

00:26:46.559 --> 00:26:49.079
funny when finally someone does notice you, it's

00:26:49.079 --> 00:26:51.789
kind of like... shit, where'd that guy come from?

00:26:51.910 --> 00:26:53.970
I'm sitting out smoking my cigar, just looking

00:26:53.970 --> 00:26:55.589
at a meeting and they're like, kind of like,

00:26:55.630 --> 00:27:01.309
oh man. So, or, or the one time, um, there's

00:27:01.309 --> 00:27:03.829
a room really close. So I could probably spit

00:27:03.829 --> 00:27:06.210
on no kitten if I needed to at the basin park

00:27:06.210 --> 00:27:09.049
hotel. And the guy was like completely fucking

00:27:09.049 --> 00:27:12.210
nude and all white. I mean, he's just like pasty

00:27:12.210 --> 00:27:16.609
and he opens up, he opens up his, uh, um, his

00:27:16.609 --> 00:27:19.740
blinds. I guess just to see what it's like out

00:27:19.740 --> 00:27:24.259
there. And me and him lock eyes. And he was like,

00:27:24.299 --> 00:27:28.059
ugh! And I'm like, oh my God, my eyes! He ducked

00:27:28.059 --> 00:27:30.240
down and shut those blinds down. It was funnier

00:27:30.240 --> 00:27:34.440
than hell. He had no idea there was a balcony

00:27:34.440 --> 00:27:38.880
just straight across eye level. I was out there

00:27:38.880 --> 00:27:41.140
smoking my cigar. I about fucking swallowed my

00:27:41.140 --> 00:27:48.079
cigar. I'm like, ugh! So, anyhow. Okay, so we

00:27:48.079 --> 00:27:51.420
were talking about Ozzy last week, right? Yeah.

00:27:51.859 --> 00:27:56.799
Okay, well, Jakey Lee... Yeah, yeah, quite a

00:27:56.799 --> 00:28:02.180
bit. So, Jakey Lee recalled, he was in a great

00:28:02.180 --> 00:28:06.579
mood, and he was like really easy. He was at

00:28:06.579 --> 00:28:08.700
ease with his past. I mean, he's always kind

00:28:08.700 --> 00:28:13.000
of been, I don't know. Kind of uneasy about everything.

00:28:13.299 --> 00:28:15.920
He's kind of hesitant. He went into pretty much

00:28:15.920 --> 00:28:19.960
hiding from the music scene for probably 30 years,

00:28:20.059 --> 00:28:24.079
right? So, you know, he come out and now he seems

00:28:24.079 --> 00:28:27.680
to be at peace. He recalls when Ozzy forgot the

00:28:27.680 --> 00:28:29.299
words to War Pigs. He started telling stories

00:28:29.299 --> 00:28:32.160
about it and how he used to tune his guitar to

00:28:32.160 --> 00:28:35.920
War Pigs because he is a huge Sabbath fan. And

00:28:35.920 --> 00:28:37.660
he would listen to War Pigs and he would play

00:28:37.660 --> 00:28:42.210
War Pigs. He'd be like, as soon as he hit that

00:28:42.210 --> 00:28:44.250
sound that Tony Iommi did, he goes, all right,

00:28:44.269 --> 00:28:47.210
that is I'm ready to play. I thought that was

00:28:47.210 --> 00:28:50.089
pretty interesting. So early in Lee's career

00:28:50.089 --> 00:28:52.769
with Ozzy, still in awe over being on stage with

00:28:52.769 --> 00:28:55.470
a legend, the two were on stage mid -performance

00:28:55.470 --> 00:28:59.049
of the classic War Pigs. When suddenly Ozzy turned

00:28:59.049 --> 00:29:01.569
to him during the first verse and mouthed a panicked

00:29:01.569 --> 00:29:05.509
question, he was really caught off guard. Ozzy

00:29:05.509 --> 00:29:08.960
asked, what are the lyrics? And Lee said, I don't

00:29:08.960 --> 00:29:10.940
know. He didn't want to be wrong and screw up

00:29:10.940 --> 00:29:12.619
the song. And I agree with him. You know, you

00:29:12.619 --> 00:29:14.119
don't want to say the wrong thing, give him the

00:29:14.119 --> 00:29:15.779
wrong lyrics. Then he goes out there and belts

00:29:15.779 --> 00:29:17.859
them out. And everyone's like, uh, you know.

00:29:18.039 --> 00:29:19.700
So he's like, I don't know. Yeah, if you're going

00:29:19.700 --> 00:29:22.279
to forget the lyrics, it's on you, dude. Oh,

00:29:22.299 --> 00:29:25.339
I know. I'd be the same way. I'd be like, I can't

00:29:25.339 --> 00:29:27.660
remember either, dude. I'm sorry, boss. I don't

00:29:27.660 --> 00:29:31.259
know. I'm too busy playing my guitar. Yeah, yeah.

00:29:31.299 --> 00:29:33.779
You see this thing in my hand? Yeah, yeah. That's

00:29:33.779 --> 00:29:35.690
what I'm doing. I'm not doing, you know, that

00:29:35.690 --> 00:29:37.589
microphone. I'm not doing that over there. I'm

00:29:37.589 --> 00:29:40.430
doing this right here, okay? So good luck. I'll

00:29:40.430 --> 00:29:45.349
be over here. So Ozzy started singing the words

00:29:45.349 --> 00:29:50.509
to Old MacDonald. Complete with oink, oink here,

00:29:50.690 --> 00:29:54.029
oink, oink there, moo, moo here. And the crowd

00:29:54.029 --> 00:29:57.789
went nuts. It went over. Everybody was like,

00:29:57.809 --> 00:30:00.829
ah! And they thought it was just Ozzy fucking

00:30:00.829 --> 00:30:05.049
around, but it was Ozzy in panic. Not knowing

00:30:05.049 --> 00:30:08.890
what the fuck. And Jake was like, you got to

00:30:08.890 --> 00:30:10.990
see the interview. Jake was like, oh, my God.

00:30:11.789 --> 00:30:16.049
He's asking me the lyrics to War Pigs. I've only

00:30:16.049 --> 00:30:18.849
played like 10 shows with the guy. He's a legend.

00:30:19.750 --> 00:30:22.650
Tony Iommi, who wrote it, is a legend. And he's

00:30:22.650 --> 00:30:26.730
asking me the lyrics. And he's like, I don't

00:30:26.730 --> 00:30:29.970
know. I've been the same way. I've been like,

00:30:30.009 --> 00:30:36.740
you're on your own. I'm sorry. So, and then finally,

00:30:37.019 --> 00:30:41.940
okay, I was up at the city market earlier. I

00:30:41.940 --> 00:30:44.000
was having a coffee and right now some stuff,

00:30:44.039 --> 00:30:47.059
okay? And I was doing some music research because

00:30:47.059 --> 00:30:52.559
I got a couple of Voltarezes coming up. And probably

00:30:52.559 --> 00:30:55.559
a Johnny Roe Hypnol, depends on it. Have you

00:30:55.559 --> 00:30:58.279
noticed, like, I used the different characters

00:30:58.279 --> 00:31:01.569
in different situations, you know? Like Johnny

00:31:01.569 --> 00:31:04.990
Rohypnol is the younger, more hip guy. And then

00:31:04.990 --> 00:31:09.029
Dash Riptide is kind of like the smooth guy that's

00:31:09.029 --> 00:31:12.789
like, yeah, you know. And then Phineas J. Voltarez,

00:31:13.049 --> 00:31:16.970
the third, is more of a smooth jazz, calm guy.

00:31:17.269 --> 00:31:19.509
So I think it's, well, anyhow, it doesn't matter.

00:31:20.609 --> 00:31:23.910
Okay, I went to Carollo's Italian Market to buy

00:31:23.910 --> 00:31:27.529
some pizza dough. And they have the best pizza

00:31:27.529 --> 00:31:30.569
dough. It comes from Italy. and I'm telling you,

00:31:30.609 --> 00:31:32.950
if you want to make a homemade pizza, this is

00:31:32.950 --> 00:31:35.950
the best dough around. They import it from Italy.

00:31:36.069 --> 00:31:38.329
It's a little pricey, but to me it's worth it.

00:31:38.609 --> 00:31:41.309
You make your own, and you have this crust that's

00:31:41.309 --> 00:31:43.549
unbelievable that you can't really get over here.

00:31:43.910 --> 00:31:46.130
Even at a great pizza joint, you can't really

00:31:46.130 --> 00:31:48.309
get crust this good. You have to do it yourself.

00:31:48.789 --> 00:31:50.670
Put a little butter on there, and it gets really

00:31:50.670 --> 00:31:53.390
crisp. So I was in there buying pizza dough.

00:31:53.869 --> 00:31:56.170
Now stay with me here, okay, because I'm going

00:31:56.170 --> 00:31:58.269
somewhere with this. You ever hear the term?

00:31:58.789 --> 00:32:05.849
gunning down like as in a female? Yeah. Okay.

00:32:06.029 --> 00:32:08.670
All right. Well, I kind of just learned it not

00:32:08.670 --> 00:32:11.049
too long ago. I was listening to Bubba the Love

00:32:11.049 --> 00:32:12.710
Sponge. You know, I listen to the show quite

00:32:12.710 --> 00:32:16.349
a bit. I still enjoy it. And they were talking

00:32:16.349 --> 00:32:20.009
about the term gunning a woman down. And I guess

00:32:20.009 --> 00:32:22.910
it originated in like prisons where like there'd

00:32:22.910 --> 00:32:25.329
be a hot female guard or something or maybe one

00:32:25.329 --> 00:32:28.150
just in there visiting or something. And I guess,

00:32:28.569 --> 00:32:30.549
That look you give them when you're, like, taking

00:32:30.549 --> 00:32:33.390
their clothes off and, you know, and maybe they're

00:32:33.390 --> 00:32:35.390
doing it a little bit further, like maybe doing

00:32:35.390 --> 00:32:37.890
something with themselves, right? They call that

00:32:37.890 --> 00:32:44.710
gunning a chick down, okay? So I was there buying

00:32:44.710 --> 00:32:49.130
this pizza dough, and I noticed, you know, they

00:32:49.130 --> 00:32:51.390
had this good -looking young lady. I mean, I

00:32:51.390 --> 00:32:54.559
think she was Italian. And maybe one of the family,

00:32:54.680 --> 00:32:56.500
you know, because they have a lot of family there,

00:32:56.559 --> 00:32:58.880
I do believe. And I'm buying this pizza dough

00:32:58.880 --> 00:33:03.000
from her. And anyhow, I noticed her noticing

00:33:03.000 --> 00:33:08.500
me gunning something down. And I looked embarrassed

00:33:08.500 --> 00:33:10.859
when she noticed. And she looked embarrassed

00:33:10.859 --> 00:33:14.299
for me when she noticed. Because I was gunning

00:33:14.299 --> 00:33:20.890
down the lemon cake right behind her. I was sexting

00:33:20.890 --> 00:33:24.109
that fucking lemon cake up, dude. I was already

00:33:24.109 --> 00:33:28.289
on my FitBite. And she looks at me and she goes,

00:33:28.470 --> 00:33:34.670
sir, would you like some lemon cake? And I very

00:33:34.670 --> 00:33:38.509
sheepishly with a red face go, no, no, I don't

00:33:38.509 --> 00:33:44.930
want any. I got to go. I do, but I don't. I do,

00:33:45.009 --> 00:33:50.370
but I don't, yeah. Rob, getting old sucks. Right?

00:33:50.370 --> 00:33:54.130
Tell me about it. Yeah. Hot young chick right

00:33:54.130 --> 00:33:56.609
in front of me, nice as pie. And I'm looking

00:33:56.609 --> 00:34:00.470
at the lemon cake going, mmm, lemon cake. Give

00:34:00.470 --> 00:34:08.590
me. Rob, I turn this to you. All right. Darius

00:34:08.590 --> 00:34:11.389
Rucker was faced with an unfortunate setback

00:34:11.389 --> 00:34:14.070
over the weekend during one of the shows in Atlantic

00:34:14.070 --> 00:34:19.239
City, New Jersey. The country music star, 59,

00:34:19.659 --> 00:34:23.139
took the stage at Hard Rock Atlantic City on

00:34:23.139 --> 00:34:26.980
Saturday, July 12th. But just three songs into

00:34:26.980 --> 00:34:29.900
a set, he noticed his voice start to give out.

00:34:30.219 --> 00:34:34.699
Uh -oh. Fans captured clips of the singer telling

00:34:34.699 --> 00:34:38.159
the crowd, y 'all, I can't sing anymore. I will

00:34:38.159 --> 00:34:40.880
play one more song. I promise you we're going

00:34:40.880 --> 00:34:44.690
to figure this out. This never happened. I basically

00:34:44.690 --> 00:34:49.449
can't sing. I will make this up to you. He then

00:34:49.449 --> 00:34:53.949
sang his biggest crossover hit, his 2013 cover

00:34:53.949 --> 00:34:57.070
of Wagon Wheel, but required the audience to

00:34:57.070 --> 00:35:00.050
help him by singing along before ending the show.

00:35:00.929 --> 00:35:04.889
Darius Laird took to social media with a candid

00:35:04.889 --> 00:35:07.530
message for his fans sharing on his Instagram

00:35:07.530 --> 00:35:12.199
stories. Atlantic City, thank you so much for

00:35:12.199 --> 00:35:15.420
coming out Saturday night. I feel awful and I'm

00:35:15.420 --> 00:35:18.980
so sorry. I have never lost my voice in all my

00:35:18.980 --> 00:35:22.340
years of performing, he continued. And he had

00:35:22.340 --> 00:35:24.880
to deliver the unfortunate news that they were

00:35:24.880 --> 00:35:28.260
unable to reschedule the performance and it would

00:35:28.260 --> 00:35:32.300
instead be canceled. We looked at every option

00:35:32.300 --> 00:35:35.480
to reschedule, but unfortunately, it's just not

00:35:35.480 --> 00:35:39.059
possible this year. So we're issuing all refunds.

00:35:39.690 --> 00:35:42.809
The venue will send details to you directly.

00:35:43.510 --> 00:35:46.849
To conclude his message, we thank you so much

00:35:46.849 --> 00:35:50.170
for all your kind messages with wishing me well.

00:35:50.550 --> 00:35:54.030
Love you all and see you soon. Peace. Darius.

00:35:55.030 --> 00:36:01.949
Wow. While the singer is recovering, fans won't

00:36:01.949 --> 00:36:05.769
have to wait long to see him back on stage with

00:36:05.769 --> 00:36:09.449
his next... The show is scheduled for July 19th

00:36:09.449 --> 00:36:14.789
in Hollywood, Florida. Okay, cool. Followed by

00:36:14.789 --> 00:36:22.650
another the next day in Tampa. Cool. Well, July

00:36:22.650 --> 00:36:25.929
26th, you're supposed to be here in Camden, too.

00:36:26.130 --> 00:36:28.630
Oh, yeah, that was our camping theater. You're

00:36:28.630 --> 00:36:32.309
not going to that, are you? Eleven days from

00:36:32.309 --> 00:36:35.730
today. No, I ain't going. I bought two groups.

00:36:36.320 --> 00:36:38.679
Two lower -level tickets, but I ain't going.

00:36:39.559 --> 00:36:42.820
Yeah, don't get me started. Okay, no, no, no,

00:36:42.820 --> 00:36:45.099
no, no. I was just wanting to make sure. I didn't

00:36:45.099 --> 00:36:46.800
know if you decided to go or not. I'm sorry.

00:36:46.860 --> 00:36:47.840
I didn't mean to bring it up. I get for breaking

00:36:47.840 --> 00:36:56.699
up with somebody. Why don't you go anyhow? I

00:36:56.699 --> 00:37:00.699
don't know. Okay. All right. I'm getting... I've

00:37:00.699 --> 00:37:03.079
already went and seen Ozark, Mount Daredevil,

00:37:03.179 --> 00:37:06.369
and Kentucky Headhunters. I'm... Getting ready

00:37:06.369 --> 00:37:12.269
to go see Steve Miller Band. Mm -hmm. I don't

00:37:12.269 --> 00:37:14.869
need Darius. Okay. You know what? You're right.

00:37:15.070 --> 00:37:17.369
I'm not that big a fan of Darius anyway. I just

00:37:17.369 --> 00:37:20.130
bought him forever. Okay. All right. I got you.

00:37:21.289 --> 00:37:23.550
Okay. I thought you were a big fan. That's why

00:37:23.550 --> 00:37:27.929
I asked. So, okay. No, don't get me wrong. He's

00:37:27.929 --> 00:37:31.650
a great singer. He is. He's a great musician,

00:37:31.670 --> 00:37:36.099
great singer. Mm -hmm. There's other people I'd

00:37:36.099 --> 00:37:40.619
rather see. You know what I mean? Okay. Okay,

00:37:40.659 --> 00:37:43.679
gotcha. If I wanted to see Hootie and the Blowfish,

00:37:43.900 --> 00:37:46.760
I would have seen them back in the 80s. Yeah,

00:37:46.780 --> 00:37:51.900
yeah, yep. Gotcha. 80s, 90s, whatever they were.

00:37:52.659 --> 00:37:57.059
90s, I believe. So let it roll. Yeah, 90s. Yeah,

00:37:57.059 --> 00:37:59.519
whatever the fuck it was. Right, 90s. But still.

00:38:01.619 --> 00:38:05.610
Yeah, something about... Fuck. Yeah, shit. You

00:38:05.610 --> 00:38:08.409
know what? It was some of the cheesiest lyrics

00:38:08.409 --> 00:38:10.849
ever. I saw the dolphins and they made me cry

00:38:10.849 --> 00:38:13.730
or something stupid like that. Yeah. I remember

00:38:13.730 --> 00:38:15.469
wanting to take a crowbar to that whole fucking

00:38:15.469 --> 00:38:22.349
band when I heard that. They were kind of like

00:38:22.349 --> 00:38:25.949
Culture Club. Yeah, yeah. They were. You really

00:38:25.949 --> 00:38:31.630
want to hurt me? Yes, we do. Yes. Hang on a minute,

00:38:31.690 --> 00:38:36.510
Mr. George. You want to meet Mr. Pipe Wrench?

00:38:40.030 --> 00:38:43.210
Okay. I got to admit, though, I like Culture

00:38:43.210 --> 00:38:47.630
Club better than Hootie and the Blowfish. I think

00:38:47.630 --> 00:38:50.650
I did, too. Yes. Actually, I think I did, too.

00:38:50.829 --> 00:38:52.869
At least their songs were a little bit catchy.

00:38:53.050 --> 00:38:57.070
I don't know. Okay. All right. Do you want to

00:38:57.070 --> 00:39:01.389
come back after break with a few emails? Yeah,

00:39:01.389 --> 00:39:04.570
sure. All righty. Why not, right? I'm sure Mitch

00:39:04.570 --> 00:39:06.449
has something to say. Oh, you know I love them.

00:39:06.530 --> 00:39:09.030
Oh, I know. I mean, they're my favorite part

00:39:09.030 --> 00:39:11.070
anymore. Even all the stupid shit you and I come

00:39:11.070 --> 00:39:13.949
up with, these things just have a consistency

00:39:13.949 --> 00:39:17.289
that are so cool. So, anyhow, we'll be right

00:39:17.289 --> 00:39:23.170
back. Have I ever told you about my prank phone

00:39:23.170 --> 00:39:27.250
call deal that I used to do? No. Phone booth.

00:39:28.000 --> 00:39:30.599
Well, this was the old quick trip in Belvedere,

00:39:30.599 --> 00:39:33.679
the one right off the highway, right off of 71

00:39:33.679 --> 00:39:37.159
or 49 or whatever, and 155th Street down there

00:39:37.159 --> 00:39:39.219
in that little pit there right off the exit ramp.

00:39:39.360 --> 00:39:42.139
There used to be a quick trip. And one day I'm

00:39:42.139 --> 00:39:44.320
like in there getting a soda or some shit, right?

00:39:44.440 --> 00:39:47.599
And I noticed the phone rang. Is this probably

00:39:47.599 --> 00:39:50.579
a drug deal or something? Yeah. And some guy

00:39:50.579 --> 00:39:52.340
jumps out of his car and starts answering. I'm

00:39:52.340 --> 00:39:54.519
like, huh, I didn't know those things had numbers.

00:39:55.420 --> 00:39:57.780
Not only did I not know they have numbers, I

00:39:57.780 --> 00:39:59.780
didn't realize that people fucking answer them.

00:39:59.960 --> 00:40:03.000
Yeah, the idea of calling into a payphone didn't

00:40:03.000 --> 00:40:05.440
occur to me until I saw someone do it on a TV

00:40:05.440 --> 00:40:08.639
show. I was like, what? You can do that? I thought

00:40:08.639 --> 00:40:10.840
it was just one way you got on there and said,

00:40:10.960 --> 00:40:14.099
hey, I'm down here at the Quick Trip, man. Whenever

00:40:14.099 --> 00:40:18.559
you want to come down, I got the pet cage and

00:40:18.559 --> 00:40:24.420
the rubbers. Whatever. So anyhow, so I walk over

00:40:24.420 --> 00:40:26.519
there, and I get a pen from the guy on the quick

00:40:26.519 --> 00:40:29.480
trip and wrote down the numbers. There was like

00:40:29.480 --> 00:40:31.880
three of them, and they're like, you know, in

00:40:31.880 --> 00:40:35.159
a little semi -circle. And back in the days,

00:40:35.280 --> 00:40:36.960
I mean, like you mentioned the other day, how

00:40:36.960 --> 00:40:39.699
nasty that was. Yeah. Some guy would get up there

00:40:39.699 --> 00:40:41.800
and start spitting all over the phone, talking,

00:40:41.820 --> 00:40:44.199
and then you'd go pick it up right after. Yep.

00:40:44.539 --> 00:40:46.739
Jam it right up to the hole in your face that

00:40:46.739 --> 00:40:50.260
you eat through. Now when I think about it, I

00:40:50.260 --> 00:40:55.730
cringe. So anyhow, it's probably a dirt bag from

00:40:55.730 --> 00:40:58.230
Belvedere anyhow with no key. You know, fuck.

00:40:58.769 --> 00:41:02.469
So anyhow, I get these numbers down. And anyhow,

00:41:02.590 --> 00:41:04.469
one day I'm over at my friend Davey's and we're

00:41:04.469 --> 00:41:06.309
bored. And I go, hey man, I got something we

00:41:06.309 --> 00:41:08.550
can do. What's that? See these three numbers?

00:41:08.630 --> 00:41:10.769
Yeah. They're the number two, the pay phones,

00:41:10.809 --> 00:41:13.849
and Belvedere Quick Trip. Oh, really? Let's just

00:41:13.849 --> 00:41:17.570
call it and fuck with people. Yeah, sure. Okay.

00:41:18.219 --> 00:41:20.880
So, you know, we call up, and the first time,

00:41:20.880 --> 00:41:22.980
it took a long time. I don't think anyone was

00:41:22.980 --> 00:41:24.659
there. Someone answered, hello. Hey, you know,

00:41:24.739 --> 00:41:26.880
this is Payphone. I go, hey, you know, you're

00:41:26.880 --> 00:41:29.480
a dickhead. You know, just started screwing with

00:41:29.480 --> 00:41:32.079
him. Yeah, you're a piece of shit, man. Hey,

00:41:32.179 --> 00:41:33.739
you know who I got right next to me? Who? Your

00:41:33.739 --> 00:41:36.760
mom. Ah. You know, people get pissed off. Fuck

00:41:36.760 --> 00:41:39.880
you, bitch, and all this stuff. So, anyhow, you

00:41:39.880 --> 00:41:42.539
know, we calm up and harass, and people get so

00:41:42.539 --> 00:41:44.840
fucking mad. You know, we get them so mad, they

00:41:44.840 --> 00:41:46.480
threaten to kill us. They're going to come over

00:41:46.480 --> 00:41:47.679
and we're like, well, you're going to kill me

00:41:47.679 --> 00:41:49.400
when you don't know where I'm at, bitch. You

00:41:49.400 --> 00:41:54.289
know, this is before, this is in. maybe early

00:41:54.289 --> 00:41:56.829
90s at the most, late 80s, whatever, somewhere

00:41:56.829 --> 00:41:59.409
in that time frame. And, I mean, it was just,

00:41:59.530 --> 00:42:01.510
I mean, we had nothing else to do, so we'd call

00:42:01.510 --> 00:42:04.050
up and just get people so mad. Davey used to

00:42:04.050 --> 00:42:06.030
do this farmer impression. He used to tell a

00:42:06.030 --> 00:42:08.630
guy that his fucking goats were in his yard,

00:42:08.650 --> 00:42:10.730
and he was mad. Or, your fucking cattle trampled

00:42:10.730 --> 00:42:13.570
my fucking sheep, you bitch. I don't have, I

00:42:13.570 --> 00:42:16.280
don't have no farm. Yeah, you do, you son of

00:42:16.280 --> 00:42:18.780
a bitch. I know this is you, Mr. Johnson. You

00:42:18.780 --> 00:42:21.500
get your ass over here, and you get my dead fucking

00:42:21.500 --> 00:42:23.719
sheep, and you better fucking bury it. If you

00:42:23.719 --> 00:42:25.059
don't, I'm going to come over there, and I'm

00:42:25.059 --> 00:42:26.639
going to slap the stupid out of you, and that's

00:42:26.639 --> 00:42:28.139
going to take all day because you're pretty fucking

00:42:28.139 --> 00:42:31.019
stupid. And he would just keep railing on them,

00:42:31.039 --> 00:42:34.000
and the people get so mad and argue about, I

00:42:34.000 --> 00:42:37.090
don't have a farm. I ain't got no farm, you dumb

00:42:37.090 --> 00:42:39.469
son of a bitch. And he would just keep going,

00:42:39.630 --> 00:42:43.030
ain't got no farm, you dumb son of a bitch. And

00:42:43.030 --> 00:42:48.670
these people get so mad. So anyhow, one day I'm

00:42:48.670 --> 00:42:50.309
over there. I'm like, hmm, you know, it's starting

00:42:50.309 --> 00:42:52.230
to get boring. People get mad. Then they hang

00:42:52.230 --> 00:42:55.090
up. Then a lot of people just go, ah, fuck you,

00:42:55.130 --> 00:42:57.710
you know, and hang up. The smarter ones do. And

00:42:57.710 --> 00:42:59.849
although I question them answering a pay phone.

00:43:00.150 --> 00:43:02.489
And everyone goes, you know this is a pay phone,

00:43:02.590 --> 00:43:05.610
don't you? You know, it's like, okay. I heard

00:43:05.610 --> 00:43:09.090
that one before. All right, hang on. Oh, yeah,

00:43:09.190 --> 00:43:11.690
you're right. I'm sorry. You know, what do you

00:43:11.690 --> 00:43:13.829
do? I noticed there's a White House right behind

00:43:13.829 --> 00:43:17.389
there. So anyhow, I'm like, okay, all right.

00:43:17.449 --> 00:43:19.110
Everyone always wants to know where I live at.

00:43:19.650 --> 00:43:21.210
I guess I'm going to live in that White House

00:43:21.210 --> 00:43:25.190
right behind the pay phone. So anyhow, you know,

00:43:25.190 --> 00:43:26.929
most people are just kind of like they hang up

00:43:26.929 --> 00:43:28.250
and they don't want to go to that White House.

00:43:28.269 --> 00:43:31.079
Just one guy. That I was fucking with just constantly.

00:43:31.239 --> 00:43:33.980
Hey, you piece of shit, man. Yeah, you just don't

00:43:33.980 --> 00:43:35.659
sound right without a dick in your mouth. You

00:43:35.659 --> 00:43:38.340
sound completely different. Hey, you ball gargler.

00:43:39.079 --> 00:43:41.920
And all this stuff, man. You smell like chode.

00:43:42.059 --> 00:43:44.579
And this guy's just getting fucking madder than

00:43:44.579 --> 00:43:46.460
ever. I'm going to beat the shit out of you.

00:43:46.480 --> 00:43:47.739
Where you at? And I go, you want to know where

00:43:47.739 --> 00:43:50.519
I'm at, bitch? Yeah. Now, over there. Look to

00:43:50.519 --> 00:43:52.460
your left. Oh, no, no. Not that left. The other

00:43:52.460 --> 00:43:56.639
left, moron. Okay, you see that left? Over there?

00:43:57.320 --> 00:44:00.199
See that White House? I'm right here, motherfucker.

00:44:00.440 --> 00:44:02.000
I'm looking out the window. I'm waiting for your

00:44:02.000 --> 00:44:04.539
fucking fat ass to come beat me up. I'm going

00:44:04.539 --> 00:44:07.000
to smack the stupid out of you, and I'm going

00:44:07.000 --> 00:44:08.679
to do it in front of everybody. I'm going to

00:44:08.679 --> 00:44:10.699
call people over to watch me smack the fuck out

00:44:10.699 --> 00:44:13.179
of you. And this guy's getting mad. Oh, you son

00:44:13.179 --> 00:44:16.019
of a bitch. I'm going to fucking kill you. And

00:44:16.019 --> 00:44:18.760
I'm pretty sure the guy went over there. He was

00:44:18.760 --> 00:44:21.260
so mad. So he was so mad that he didn't even

00:44:21.260 --> 00:44:23.059
completely hang up. I heard it go click and then

00:44:23.059 --> 00:44:25.760
it fell on the ground. So he didn't look back

00:44:25.760 --> 00:44:27.820
or nothing. And anyhow, I hear a car peeling

00:44:27.820 --> 00:44:30.179
out. So I don't know about that guy in that White

00:44:30.179 --> 00:44:31.880
House, but I'm pretty sure he got into a pretty

00:44:31.880 --> 00:44:38.840
good fight. Yeah. She looked at the police blotter

00:44:38.840 --> 00:44:41.119
the next day. Man in White House beaten to death

00:44:41.119 --> 00:44:44.179
by outraged ill -billy. There wasn't an internet,

00:44:44.320 --> 00:44:45.800
so it was like one of those deals where I had

00:44:45.800 --> 00:44:48.980
to wait for one of those little regional magazines,

00:44:49.260 --> 00:44:52.820
like the Southside or whatever, the Grandview

00:44:52.820 --> 00:44:55.119
Circle or whatever, the Grandview Dick Smack

00:44:55.119 --> 00:44:58.599
or whatever. One of those stupid little fucking

00:44:58.599 --> 00:45:01.980
mags to come out. Southside idiot, whatever.

00:45:03.329 --> 00:45:05.590
So, hey, I never did find out, you know, and

00:45:05.590 --> 00:45:07.369
I didn't want to know. I was afraid someone might

00:45:07.369 --> 00:45:09.150
have got killed in that whole scuff up, you know,

00:45:09.150 --> 00:45:11.590
but, yeah. Could be. It was at the hands of entertainment,

00:45:11.730 --> 00:45:14.989
so I justified it. Yeah, yeah. Were you briefly

00:45:14.989 --> 00:45:17.750
entertained? Oh, I was entertained for a while.

00:45:17.809 --> 00:45:19.570
I mean, especially the guys that just continue

00:45:19.570 --> 00:45:23.849
to. get mad and just continue to try to insult

00:45:23.849 --> 00:45:26.630
you and one up you without a brain yeah and you

00:45:26.630 --> 00:45:29.769
continue like Davey just roll over so many insults

00:45:29.769 --> 00:45:32.130
on him and they just keep getting madder and

00:45:32.130 --> 00:45:36.530
madder and go oh yeah fuck you oh my god you

00:45:36.530 --> 00:45:41.030
got me oh you went to the f -bomb Oh, someone

00:45:41.030 --> 00:45:44.230
get me some iced tea. Oh, my God. Oh, the pain.

00:45:44.510 --> 00:45:50.230
You know. Anyhow, so the finality was ice calling

00:45:50.230 --> 00:45:52.309
down there. And this is later. I got bored with

00:45:52.309 --> 00:45:55.550
it. And I went back to it. And this chick answers.

00:45:56.230 --> 00:45:58.769
And I started saying something, you know. Just

00:45:58.769 --> 00:46:00.969
started blathering some sort of shit to try to

00:46:00.969 --> 00:46:06.429
piss her off. She goes, Mark Wallace. Ah. Ah.

00:46:07.949 --> 00:46:14.369
Oops. Who is this? This is Danielle. Oh, fuck.

00:46:14.829 --> 00:46:18.010
What are you doing calling a pay phone? Long

00:46:18.010 --> 00:46:21.630
story. Hey, she busted me. That was the last

00:46:21.630 --> 00:46:23.989
time I called. I'm like, fuck, man. That's it,

00:46:24.090 --> 00:46:29.550
man. No fun anymore. It's done. Yep. Cancel Christmas.

00:46:30.070 --> 00:46:36.840
Yeah. Pharmacy's closed. Two Dishbags and Microphone

00:46:36.840 --> 00:46:39.480
is the only podcast available anywhere with gusto.

00:46:39.920 --> 00:46:43.679
That's right, I said gusto. Gusto is a magical

00:46:43.679 --> 00:46:46.320
ingredient in Schlitz beer that makes it so damn

00:46:46.320 --> 00:46:49.039
delicious. So enjoy a little gusto with your

00:46:49.039 --> 00:46:53.219
podcast today. Jamar Chase, what in the hell

00:46:53.219 --> 00:46:55.980
did you say this time? This idea has worked out

00:46:55.980 --> 00:46:59.300
so well for you in the past. Just go ahead, fat

00:46:59.300 --> 00:47:01.239
mouth one of the all -time greatest quarterbacks

00:47:01.239 --> 00:47:04.300
in the league ever. Your quote was... Without

00:47:04.300 --> 00:47:06.579
Kelsey, Mahomes is just another Kirk Cousins

00:47:06.579 --> 00:47:10.480
with a headband. Well then, Mr. Chase, you should

00:47:10.480 --> 00:47:12.940
know Kirk Cousins very well. You and him have

00:47:12.940 --> 00:47:16.039
the same amount of rings. You remind us of a

00:47:16.039 --> 00:47:19.039
little lap dog nipping at the heels of your daddy.

00:47:20.699 --> 00:47:23.679
Hey there, slap nuts. It's time for the Creeps

00:47:23.679 --> 00:47:28.960
Music News. Hey, my little pumpkin seeds. This

00:47:28.960 --> 00:47:32.809
is Johnny Rohypnol with your music news. Matt

00:47:32.809 --> 00:47:35.630
Cameron has left Pearl Jam. He had been the band

00:47:35.630 --> 00:47:39.230
drummer for 27 years. He got a dishwashing gig.

00:47:39.610 --> 00:47:42.650
He really needed the cash. This is Johnny Rohypnol.

00:47:42.969 --> 00:47:46.230
That was your music news. And remember, bar chords

00:47:46.230 --> 00:47:52.869
are bullshit. Four out of five people surveyed

00:47:52.869 --> 00:47:55.489
said that two douchebags in a microphone podcast

00:47:55.489 --> 00:47:59.409
are more entertaining than a gum infection. The

00:47:59.409 --> 00:48:01.860
fifth one called the cops. And we had to leave.

00:48:02.320 --> 00:48:06.059
Yes, it's true. Mark is an old bastard. It's

00:48:06.059 --> 00:48:08.659
also true that Mark uses a lot of ibuprofen.

00:48:09.139 --> 00:48:12.280
But Mark would like to tell you, if you see any

00:48:12.280 --> 00:48:16.039
pictures of him roofing ibuprofen, it's obviously

00:48:16.039 --> 00:48:18.440
fake, and you're to take the pictures and tear

00:48:18.440 --> 00:48:22.719
them up immediately. Your mama's so fat, she

00:48:22.719 --> 00:48:26.760
went out in high heels and struck oil. Introducing

00:48:26.760 --> 00:48:29.500
Rob Rad's new book, How to Track Your Enemy by

00:48:29.500 --> 00:48:32.260
Scent. That's right, smell your enemy before

00:48:32.260 --> 00:48:35.179
they get you. Order this gem now and get a free

00:48:35.179 --> 00:48:37.639
virtual tour of Rob's secret bunker in Camderton,

00:48:37.739 --> 00:48:40.559
Missouri. Also, receive a free copy of his new

00:48:40.559 --> 00:48:47.460
book, How to Clean Raw Sewage for Food. Cito,

00:48:47.460 --> 00:48:51.500
cito, hypo -paraphylogism. You watched the news.

00:48:51.739 --> 00:48:56.260
It looks grim. Is an apocalypse inevitable? We

00:48:56.260 --> 00:48:58.699
suggest you download all our podcasts beforehand

00:48:58.699 --> 00:49:03.179
and have multiple mobile chargers. We have the

00:49:03.179 --> 00:49:09.079
post -apocalypse. Morse code is an essential

00:49:09.079 --> 00:49:11.900
must -know post -apocalypse. Go to a library

00:49:11.900 --> 00:49:15.639
or look it up online. Learn Morse code. This

00:49:15.639 --> 00:49:18.239
code could save your life. Many survivalists

00:49:18.239 --> 00:49:20.659
have learned Norse code to alert other dwellers

00:49:20.659 --> 00:49:23.139
of possible danger or where there could be clean

00:49:23.139 --> 00:49:26.739
water or their whereabouts. Hey fellas, remember

00:49:26.739 --> 00:49:29.940
to wipe away from the twins. Stay fresh ideas

00:49:29.940 --> 00:49:39.159
from the douchebags. Jammed X. What the hell

00:49:39.159 --> 00:49:43.559
happened? You were the generation of change.

00:49:46.570 --> 00:49:50.230
You never wanted to be one of them. Apathy spoke

00:49:50.230 --> 00:49:56.349
for you. Fuck the man. Fuck the system. What

00:49:56.349 --> 00:50:00.809
the hell happened? The generation of angst? The

00:50:00.809 --> 00:50:04.610
generation of non -compliance? Is now buying

00:50:04.610 --> 00:50:07.829
a boat? You're really fed up to kill someone

00:50:07.829 --> 00:50:11.650
who dangled a dollar near you? Great job, Xers.

00:50:12.150 --> 00:50:36.130
Everything's ruined. Have you ever wondered what

00:50:36.130 --> 00:50:38.329
something came about? Have you ever looked at

00:50:38.329 --> 00:50:40.469
something and said, Hey, I wonder what the origin

00:50:40.469 --> 00:50:44.170
of that is? Well, so have we. That's why we give

00:50:44.170 --> 00:50:50.090
you The Origin Of. This is the story of Dr. Pepper.

00:50:50.590 --> 00:50:53.030
Originally made in Morrison's Old Corner Drugstore

00:50:53.030 --> 00:50:55.590
in Waco, Texas, the drink's unique flavor was

00:50:55.590 --> 00:50:59.590
a hit when it was first sold in 1885. Wade Morrison,

00:50:59.769 --> 00:51:02.610
the drugstore owner, named it Dr. Pepper after

00:51:02.610 --> 00:51:05.980
Dr. Charles Pepper. a virginia doctor who the

00:51:05.980 --> 00:51:09.460
father of a girl morrison he was once in love

00:51:09.460 --> 00:51:12.219
with you can still go to the dr pepper museum

00:51:12.219 --> 00:51:15.639
and still purchase the original formula with

00:51:15.639 --> 00:51:19.219
pure artesian well water and pure cane sugar

00:51:19.219 --> 00:51:33.780
it's quite a treat if you're into dr pepper Two

00:51:33.780 --> 00:51:36.460
douchebags and a microphone on Mark here in the

00:51:36.460 --> 00:51:39.039
Kansas City area at the Talk is Cheap studio.

00:51:40.800 --> 00:51:44.719
And I am Rob at the beautiful diagonal arm of

00:51:44.719 --> 00:51:48.000
Lake of the Ozarks in the Duck Blind studio.

00:51:48.960 --> 00:51:53.440
There we go. Oh, did you see the post I did today

00:51:53.440 --> 00:51:57.679
about... No, I have not. Okay, Norwegian Cruise

00:51:57.679 --> 00:52:00.780
Lines, and this appears to be true. They put

00:52:00.780 --> 00:52:05.480
up a notice. At the pizza bar. To not have intercourse

00:52:05.480 --> 00:52:09.199
with your pizza. I looked it up. And I guess

00:52:09.199 --> 00:52:12.280
a big thing among certain teenagers is food fucking.

00:52:13.760 --> 00:52:16.519
And that's where you take your food. And you

00:52:16.519 --> 00:52:21.340
have sex with it. Jerk off with it. Whatever

00:52:21.340 --> 00:52:24.880
you do. I guess you insert your genitalia into

00:52:24.880 --> 00:52:27.900
whatever. A pig in the blanket. Wrap some pizza

00:52:27.900 --> 00:52:30.039
around it or something. And you take pictures

00:52:30.039 --> 00:52:33.369
and send them to people. And I was just like,

00:52:33.389 --> 00:52:36.269
I saw this on a website. I'm like, it can't be

00:52:36.269 --> 00:52:39.489
true. I looked it up, and yes, Norwegian does

00:52:39.489 --> 00:52:42.690
have signs on certain ships that says, please

00:52:42.690 --> 00:52:45.809
do not have sexual intercourse with your pizza.

00:52:46.170 --> 00:52:49.670
It is designed for people to eat only. Look at

00:52:49.670 --> 00:52:52.769
my Facebook page afterwards and read that thing.

00:52:53.210 --> 00:52:58.010
And I'm like, we have pizza fuckers? What the

00:52:58.010 --> 00:53:03.599
hell? I can see it. I can see it. Me too. Now,

00:53:03.679 --> 00:53:05.719
if I have footage of one, I'm telling you, I'm

00:53:05.719 --> 00:53:10.639
sending it to everybody. Dude, check this out.

00:53:10.800 --> 00:53:14.679
This guy's fucking his pizza on the Lido deck.

00:53:15.000 --> 00:53:18.820
So, anyhow. All right. We're going to emails

00:53:18.820 --> 00:53:21.800
here, Rob. I'm looking for a good condition hood

00:53:21.800 --> 00:53:24.469
for an AMC Gremlin. Better yet, if you could

00:53:24.469 --> 00:53:26.610
find Mark's first car in the scrap heap somewhere,

00:53:26.889 --> 00:53:31.510
word was it was last seen in Bernard's junkyard.

00:53:31.730 --> 00:53:34.369
You can easily tell it. It has Schaefer beer

00:53:34.369 --> 00:53:38.690
cans and night train bottles all over the floorboard,

00:53:38.829 --> 00:53:42.929
but no condom wrappers. We all know Mark didn't

00:53:42.929 --> 00:53:46.429
get any action. Mitch at the one and only Bernard's

00:53:46.429 --> 00:53:48.750
just outside of Hooterville near beautiful Fork

00:53:48.750 --> 00:53:54.159
Rock Creek and 291 Highway. He is definitely

00:53:54.159 --> 00:53:58.800
from that area. Definitely. Yes, he is. And he

00:53:58.800 --> 00:54:02.260
has a great memory. Or he knew me back in the

00:54:02.260 --> 00:54:05.559
day. I had a Gremlin. I mentioned this a long

00:54:05.559 --> 00:54:08.139
time ago on the podcast. I don't even think it

00:54:08.139 --> 00:54:10.260
was me and you. I think it was me and Topher.

00:54:10.920 --> 00:54:13.280
And I talked about having a Gremlin, one of the

00:54:13.280 --> 00:54:17.219
very first cars I've ever had. And I either knew

00:54:17.219 --> 00:54:20.099
him back then when I had the Gremlin, or he remembers

00:54:20.099 --> 00:54:25.079
that from the podcast. The night train and the

00:54:25.079 --> 00:54:31.420
Schaefer. Schaefer. That was it. Remember? We

00:54:31.420 --> 00:54:33.820
used to buy Schaefer. It was really cheap. Yeah.

00:54:34.260 --> 00:54:37.559
Yeah. This guy, I think, knows us. He knows us.

00:54:37.619 --> 00:54:40.099
Yeah. He knows us. Yeah. I need to know who the

00:54:40.099 --> 00:54:42.639
hell this is. I got a feeling he knows me, too.

00:54:42.780 --> 00:54:45.659
I think he knows both of us, dude. Bernard's

00:54:45.659 --> 00:54:50.760
Junkyard. Yeah. Bernard's. Yeah. Yeah. Over near

00:54:50.760 --> 00:54:52.940
Harrisonville. Oh, my God. He called Harrisonville

00:54:52.940 --> 00:54:57.539
Hooterville? Bernard's in years. Yeah. This guy,

00:54:57.559 --> 00:55:00.500
I'm pretty sure we know him, and he's just having

00:55:00.500 --> 00:55:05.219
fun with us. I love him, though. Yeah, I do,

00:55:05.260 --> 00:55:08.860
too. Thank you, Mitch. Well, Mitch, I mean, you

00:55:08.860 --> 00:55:12.219
got action, but your dog didn't like it, so,

00:55:12.360 --> 00:55:17.860
you know. So anyhow, Mitch, keep them coming.

00:55:18.000 --> 00:55:20.380
Go ahead and dig it. Go ahead and dig it. Well,

00:55:20.380 --> 00:55:23.340
he does to me every time. He does to me every

00:55:23.340 --> 00:55:28.480
time. Next one. Hey, Mark, I was looking for

00:55:28.480 --> 00:55:30.900
an older episode of your famous payphone pranks.

00:55:31.099 --> 00:55:33.679
I cannot find the first three seasons. Would

00:55:33.679 --> 00:55:35.559
you be able to tell the story again sometime?

00:55:35.840 --> 00:55:40.219
Thanks, Ronnie and Tulsa, the Tulsa King. I'll

00:55:40.219 --> 00:55:43.840
tell you what. After these emails, I have that.

00:55:44.119 --> 00:55:46.059
I have the whole thing. I have the whole bit.

00:55:46.480 --> 00:55:50.659
Topher gave it to me. And let's just pause like

00:55:50.659 --> 00:55:52.880
we normally do for commercial. Not commercials.

00:55:53.059 --> 00:55:56.860
I wish we had them. For our bits that we put

00:55:56.860 --> 00:56:01.420
in. And I'll put in that story. Okay? That sound

00:56:01.420 --> 00:56:04.480
good? Yeah, that way you don't have to repeat

00:56:04.480 --> 00:56:08.239
it. Exactly. Yeah. I mean, look. Keep a hold

00:56:08.239 --> 00:56:10.139
of that. I got a feeling you're going to need

00:56:10.139 --> 00:56:13.469
that one for a while. I know. And someone asked

00:56:13.469 --> 00:56:18.489
again about the Mad Shitter. They finally quit

00:56:18.489 --> 00:56:22.369
asking about Babble Snatch. So, anyhow. The Mad

00:56:22.369 --> 00:56:24.409
Shitter, I can tell any time, is real simple.

00:56:24.610 --> 00:56:29.329
So, anyhow. Let's see. Rob, we need more of your

00:56:29.329 --> 00:56:32.349
tips for life. Come on now. Frida in Osage Beach.

00:56:32.570 --> 00:56:35.469
I know there's something going on in Osage Beach.

00:56:36.869 --> 00:56:44.159
Frida? I know there's something going on. Frida

00:56:44.159 --> 00:56:47.300
was the name of a band and their big hit was

00:56:47.300 --> 00:56:55.579
I Know There's Something Going On. Okay. I don't

00:56:55.579 --> 00:56:57.300
know if she's trying to be funny or if that's

00:56:57.300 --> 00:57:01.199
a hint or something. I don't know. Now, wait

00:57:01.199 --> 00:57:07.860
a second. Did you say Frida? Frida. Yes. Okay.

00:57:07.900 --> 00:57:11.639
Is that the same one from Sunrise Beach last

00:57:11.639 --> 00:57:20.260
week? Oh, okay. Now she's in Osage Beach. Don't

00:57:20.260 --> 00:57:24.500
know. It'd be a hell of a coincidence, wouldn't

00:57:24.500 --> 00:57:31.079
it? Yeah, it would. It would. Hmm. But, yeah,

00:57:31.159 --> 00:57:37.420
this one's got my answers. Is there someone playing

00:57:37.420 --> 00:57:40.360
a game on us, maybe? I don't know. I don't know.

00:57:41.159 --> 00:57:43.800
No, I don't think it'd be on you. I think it'd

00:57:43.800 --> 00:57:47.099
be on me. Exactly, I know. Osage Beach and Sunrise.

00:57:47.139 --> 00:57:49.699
Are you sure it was Sunrise's speech that she

00:57:49.699 --> 00:57:53.159
was from? Yeah, I thought you said her name was

00:57:53.159 --> 00:57:56.179
Frida. Okay, I'll go back and listen to it, but

00:57:56.179 --> 00:57:57.840
I think I remember something about it now. I

00:57:57.840 --> 00:58:00.599
think you're right. I remember thinking Frida.

00:58:00.800 --> 00:58:07.000
Yeah, it was something about the encores. Yeah,

00:58:07.000 --> 00:58:11.289
yeah, yeah, yes, yes, yes. Yes, I remember it.

00:58:11.289 --> 00:58:16.650
Yeah. Okay, Frida's around there somewhere, but

00:58:16.650 --> 00:58:19.849
I'm not sure. She's obviously probably making

00:58:19.849 --> 00:58:21.610
up a place where she's at. She's not telling

00:58:21.610 --> 00:58:24.429
exactly where she's at. I don't know, but she

00:58:24.429 --> 00:58:26.710
definitely got my answers. Or maybe she just

00:58:26.710 --> 00:58:28.969
happened to be at each one of these places when

00:58:28.969 --> 00:58:32.829
she emailed us. I don't know. Frida, write back.

00:58:32.989 --> 00:58:34.769
Let us know a little bit more about yourself,

00:58:34.929 --> 00:58:39.989
please. Yeah, yeah. And keep an eye out for the

00:58:39.989 --> 00:58:44.510
white Nissan Frontier, the douchebag mobile.

00:58:45.510 --> 00:58:47.429
You'll see it. And I want to know if you get

00:58:47.429 --> 00:58:50.510
residuals on this song. Normally around Canton

00:58:50.510 --> 00:58:53.429
area. There you go. You see it. Hike him down.

00:58:53.530 --> 00:58:57.929
Say, hey, Rob, I'm Frida right here. And I will

00:58:57.929 --> 00:59:00.949
be at Frankie and Louie's about 2 o 'clock this

00:59:00.949 --> 00:59:04.989
coming Saturday. There you go, Frida. But no

00:59:04.989 --> 00:59:08.539
loincloth. Sorry. Yeah, no loan call, sorry.

00:59:08.780 --> 00:59:14.179
Yeah, yep. I don't feel like going to jail. Yeah,

00:59:14.199 --> 00:59:20.320
yep, I got you. Yep. Okay, get a hold of us.

00:59:21.039 --> 00:59:24.699
Email us. Get a hold of Rob. He lives down there.

00:59:25.400 --> 00:59:28.000
So, anyhow, Freda, or let us know a little bit

00:59:28.000 --> 00:59:31.059
more about you or something. So, all right. And

00:59:31.059 --> 00:59:34.059
I actually work for a living. I like some of

00:59:34.059 --> 00:59:37.280
these people down here. Just like some of the

00:59:37.280 --> 00:59:41.519
people up here, yeah. Half of them have a job

00:59:41.519 --> 00:59:44.219
and they still don't work for a living. Good

00:59:44.219 --> 00:59:47.500
point, good point. Yeah, we got some of them

00:59:47.500 --> 00:59:50.500
here too. No, quite a few people like that. Alright.

00:59:51.659 --> 00:59:53.920
Rob, do you really have a wooden leg or is that

00:59:53.920 --> 01:00:00.119
just a gag? Richard and Denton. Okay, that was

01:00:00.119 --> 01:00:04.360
a gag. Oh, did we? I do not. Did you say something

01:00:04.360 --> 01:00:11.780
like that? No, wasn't it when the parakeet or

01:00:11.780 --> 01:00:14.619
whatever attacked you or something? Okay, I'm

01:00:14.619 --> 01:00:19.699
slow, Rob. Okay. I think so. I don't know. But

01:00:19.699 --> 01:00:22.820
no, I do not have a wooden leg. Richard, no,

01:00:22.900 --> 01:00:25.139
he did not get his penis bit off by a parakeet.

01:00:25.159 --> 01:00:29.570
That was a gag. Oh, yeah, his penis. Wooden leg.

01:00:29.670 --> 01:00:31.269
Yeah, I don't know where you got a wooden leg,

01:00:31.289 --> 01:00:34.030
but no, I don't have a wooden leg. These emails,

01:00:34.289 --> 01:00:39.610
they just come out of, I don't know. He doesn't

01:00:39.610 --> 01:00:42.710
have a wooden leg. Sorry, Richard and Denton.

01:00:42.710 --> 01:00:45.769
I mean, yeah, it's stuff like this. I've got

01:00:45.769 --> 01:00:48.909
to rush back through all of our episodes real

01:00:48.909 --> 01:00:51.010
quick. I don't remember nothing about a wooden

01:00:51.010 --> 01:00:53.489
leg. I don't remember ever teasing about it.

01:00:53.510 --> 01:00:56.329
I always tease about the loincloth or your nipples

01:00:56.329 --> 01:01:00.059
or something. But never, oh well. All right,

01:01:00.119 --> 01:01:02.179
we'll get to the bottom of it. Or write us back,

01:01:02.239 --> 01:01:04.639
Richard. What do you mean? I mean, did we say

01:01:04.639 --> 01:01:08.079
something sometime? Anyhow, okay. Douches, I

01:01:08.079 --> 01:01:10.659
would love to have your apple strudel recipe.

01:01:11.000 --> 01:01:16.820
Thanks in advance, Kelly. Mine is named Trader

01:01:16.820 --> 01:01:26.579
Joe's. Yeah, that's my recipe. You were up. At

01:01:26.579 --> 01:01:30.480
mine, chop up some apples and throw some strudel

01:01:30.480 --> 01:01:34.519
on top. Rob's awesome. That's all I got. There

01:01:34.519 --> 01:01:37.840
you go. Rob likes the natural strudel. Maybe

01:01:37.840 --> 01:01:41.659
a little cinnamon for taste. There you go. Rob

01:01:41.659 --> 01:01:44.280
is a natural strudel guy. He doesn't like all

01:01:44.280 --> 01:01:46.659
the gimmicks. He just likes him and his strudel.

01:01:51.559 --> 01:01:57.019
Kelly, there you go. And finally. Mark, you're

01:01:57.019 --> 01:01:59.480
the sports guy. Do you watch the MLB All -Star

01:01:59.480 --> 01:02:03.400
Game? Saul in Greensboro. I know a Saul, but

01:02:03.400 --> 01:02:04.900
I don't think this is him. He doesn't live in

01:02:04.900 --> 01:02:08.960
Greensboro. No. I find it one of the most boring

01:02:08.960 --> 01:02:11.800
fucking things ever. Nope. I don't have enough

01:02:11.800 --> 01:02:13.900
time in my life to watch the All -Star Game,

01:02:14.059 --> 01:02:17.739
MLB's All -Star Game. Nope. It's almost as bad

01:02:17.739 --> 01:02:20.900
as the football game, the Major League football

01:02:20.900 --> 01:02:23.860
game. Or not Major League, but the, you know,

01:02:23.860 --> 01:02:27.880
the... Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whatever it is

01:02:27.880 --> 01:02:31.199
you call it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:02:31.739 --> 01:02:35.159
Pro Bowl. Yeah, but it's not even a game anymore.

01:02:35.239 --> 01:02:41.519
Yeah, yep, yep. It's just as bad as that. Anyhow,

01:02:41.579 --> 01:02:45.039
let's go ahead and take our second break, okay?

01:02:45.800 --> 01:02:48.519
And I'll do the very first thing I'm going to

01:02:48.519 --> 01:02:53.300
do is the segment of the payphone pranks for...

01:02:54.440 --> 01:02:58.199
for ronnie and tulsa and also i'd like to preface

01:02:58.199 --> 01:03:01.119
it with this i remember um this part was cut

01:03:01.119 --> 01:03:03.199
off for some reason i think it just didn't fit

01:03:03.199 --> 01:03:06.159
in or something but um i re -listened to it after

01:03:06.159 --> 01:03:07.800
ronnie said something i wanted to make sure that

01:03:07.800 --> 01:03:11.000
i did have it on here and i do but okay this

01:03:11.000 --> 01:03:13.380
whole thing started when i was at the quick trip

01:03:13.380 --> 01:03:16.440
the old one that's now not there anymore right

01:03:16.440 --> 01:03:19.480
off the highway highway 71 highway right off

01:03:19.480 --> 01:03:25.269
the highway off 155th street in uh Kind of Grandview,

01:03:25.409 --> 01:03:28.190
Belvedere area. It was in that little lull there.

01:03:28.550 --> 01:03:34.030
I was there when the payphone rang. And anyhow,

01:03:34.130 --> 01:03:38.070
the guy started talking. Begging with his girlfriend

01:03:38.070 --> 01:03:40.829
because evidently he got really fucked up and

01:03:40.829 --> 01:03:44.329
banged his girlfriend's mom. And he was there

01:03:44.329 --> 01:03:46.630
begging. And I remember being on the other side

01:03:46.630 --> 01:03:49.429
of the payphone. And I look over and I'm like,

01:03:49.449 --> 01:03:51.449
this guy's playing a joke on me. And no, he was

01:03:51.449 --> 01:03:53.949
serious. He was begging to get her back. And

01:03:53.949 --> 01:03:57.210
I'm like, hmm. So you can call here. You can

01:03:57.210 --> 01:03:59.269
have people call you here. You can answer and

01:03:59.269 --> 01:04:02.190
talk. So that's when I dotted down the numbers.

01:04:02.230 --> 01:04:05.449
But you'll hear all that here coming right up.

01:04:05.760 --> 01:04:13.119
So, all right, we'll be right back. Tomorrow

01:04:13.119 --> 01:04:15.320
morning while grinding your coffee beans for

01:04:15.320 --> 01:04:17.980
your double mocha latte, remember to not get

01:04:17.980 --> 01:04:20.860
your genitals caught in the grinder. It really

01:04:20.860 --> 01:04:25.179
hurts. Who can afford plastic surgery? Stay safe,

01:04:25.179 --> 01:04:29.880
everyone. Next up, things overheard in tell.

01:04:30.219 --> 01:04:34.300
Joe Buck and Troy Aikman are being all televised.

01:04:34.840 --> 01:04:39.840
and radio games of the NFL this year. Remember

01:04:39.840 --> 01:04:43.440
to bleach your Bluetooth after every show. Sir,

01:04:43.679 --> 01:04:46.599
I see your qualifications here. May I ask some

01:04:46.599 --> 01:04:48.360
further questions that could help me determine

01:04:48.360 --> 01:04:51.780
your employment eligibility? Yes, sir. I'm ready.

01:04:52.139 --> 01:04:54.719
Well, as you can see here, we have a large population

01:04:54.719 --> 01:04:57.480
of different ethnic backgrounds, sexuality, and

01:04:57.480 --> 01:05:02.250
ages. Are you by chance bilingual? Well, sir,

01:05:02.369 --> 01:05:04.769
I'm not sure why you need that kind of information,

01:05:04.769 --> 01:05:07.869
but, well, it was only one time in summer camp.

01:05:08.250 --> 01:05:15.929
I considered it experimental. So, Elon Musk has

01:05:15.929 --> 01:05:18.610
a new political party he's trying to form. The

01:05:18.610 --> 01:05:21.550
American Party is the name he chose. This country

01:05:21.550 --> 01:05:24.170
has to change. There's entities in this country

01:05:24.170 --> 01:05:26.690
that make their own rules. The insurance industry

01:05:26.690 --> 01:05:29.550
is a corrupt abuser of citizens. I mentioned

01:05:29.550 --> 01:05:31.769
last podcast how I was dealing with an insurance

01:05:31.769 --> 01:05:35.389
company. So this dumb bitch was looking at her

01:05:35.389 --> 01:05:37.670
phone and hit my Jeep in a fucking parking lot.

01:05:37.829 --> 01:05:40.690
The bitch's cheap ass cut rate insurance, again,

01:05:40.710 --> 01:05:43.210
in my opinion, wouldn't even look at the damages.

01:05:43.510 --> 01:05:46.050
They have their boys at the body shop skew everything

01:05:46.050 --> 01:05:48.530
towards them. I'm in the middle of reporting

01:05:48.530 --> 01:05:51.429
this bitch claim rep and her piece of shit estimator

01:05:51.429 --> 01:05:54.230
to the Kansas Board of Insurance. Hang on, though.

01:05:54.599 --> 01:05:56.980
This would be a government organization, so nothing

01:05:56.980 --> 01:05:59.239
will be done because it's all tied together.

01:05:59.539 --> 01:06:01.840
The garbage insurance companies spend on both

01:06:01.840 --> 01:06:06.300
sides, D or R, and have things their way by buying

01:06:06.300 --> 01:06:09.280
these parasites. A new party is needed badly.

01:06:09.500 --> 01:06:11.719
The big two have been doing good cop, bad cop

01:06:11.719 --> 01:06:14.139
forever now. I think most people with an ounce

01:06:14.139 --> 01:06:17.260
of sense can see this easily. The big two are

01:06:17.260 --> 01:06:21.639
crooks that steal and fleece us blind. I have

01:06:21.639 --> 01:06:24.280
another great example. Back in 2017, I had an

01:06:24.280 --> 01:06:26.699
emergency gallbladder operation. I was in the

01:06:26.699 --> 01:06:29.099
ER for hours and eventually admitted to the hospital.

01:06:29.460 --> 01:06:31.559
Months later, after I paid off all my portion,

01:06:31.780 --> 01:06:34.880
I received an invoice for $75 ,000 in the mail.

01:06:35.119 --> 01:06:37.920
This was from the hospital. I immediately called

01:06:37.920 --> 01:06:40.340
the insurance company. The representative explained

01:06:40.340 --> 01:06:42.159
that the insurance company that I was covered

01:06:42.159 --> 01:06:44.460
by had a contract with that particular hospital

01:06:44.460 --> 01:06:47.340
and that the fee will be paid to them. On the

01:06:47.340 --> 01:06:50.579
gallbladder, surgery is $5 ,000. She said that

01:06:50.579 --> 01:06:52.539
is all the insurance company is obligated to

01:06:52.539 --> 01:06:54.880
pay per their contract with the medical services

01:06:54.880 --> 01:06:57.940
company. If I was uninsured, I would have been

01:06:57.940 --> 01:07:00.760
responsible for a little over $80 ,000. That

01:07:00.760 --> 01:07:03.840
is criminal. Not everyone has access to medical

01:07:03.840 --> 01:07:06.480
coverage. We desperately need a not as corrupt

01:07:06.480 --> 01:07:09.650
party. Time to start kicking the ends out. Insurance

01:07:09.650 --> 01:07:11.610
companies know that the common ham and egger

01:07:11.610 --> 01:07:13.969
cannot fight them. The commoner does not have

01:07:13.969 --> 01:07:16.929
the resources to do so. Honestly, people, wake

01:07:16.929 --> 01:07:19.610
up. It's showtime here in this country. Answer

01:07:19.610 --> 01:07:24.090
the fucking bell. Hey, look. I think we found

01:07:24.090 --> 01:07:27.829
land. Oh, my God. I think we're safe. Oh, no.

01:07:28.329 --> 01:07:38.090
It's an island of horrible jokes. What do you

01:07:38.090 --> 01:07:48.250
call? An angry carrot. A steamed veggie. Hey

01:07:48.250 --> 01:07:51.489
there, fuckstick. You're just in time for brand

01:07:51.489 --> 01:07:54.650
new feature news nobody gives a shit about. In

01:07:54.650 --> 01:07:58.409
Tulipo, Mississippi, a structural steel company

01:07:58.409 --> 01:08:01.550
built a small bridge to go over a pothole that

01:08:01.550 --> 01:08:06.710
had been on the road for three years. Please

01:08:06.710 --> 01:08:08.809
remember to go to Cole's dressing room, wait

01:08:08.809 --> 01:08:11.789
five minutes, and scream, Hey, there's no toilet

01:08:11.789 --> 01:08:29.010
paper in here! To Douchebags and Microphone,

01:08:29.010 --> 01:08:31.270
I'm Mark here in the Kansas City area at the

01:08:31.270 --> 01:08:36.840
Talk is Cheap studio. And I am Rob at the beautiful

01:08:36.840 --> 01:08:39.840
Vanquil Arm of Lake of the Ozarks in the Duck

01:08:39.840 --> 01:08:44.060
Blind studio. All right, Rob, you got something.

01:08:44.180 --> 01:08:45.939
I have some ass paddlings after you're done.

01:08:46.680 --> 01:08:49.239
Because you notice how many people are fucking

01:08:49.239 --> 01:08:53.979
up lately? Yeah. Yeah, it is required now. I

01:08:53.979 --> 01:08:55.260
think we're going to have to start doing them

01:08:55.260 --> 01:08:57.140
twice a month. There's so many people screwing

01:08:57.140 --> 01:09:02.520
up. But Rob, we go to you. All right. former

01:09:02.520 --> 01:09:07.199
Mizzou football coach Gary Pinkle can still drive

01:09:07.199 --> 01:09:16.460
for now. Okay. Pinkle, 73, was arrested a week

01:09:16.460 --> 01:09:19.920
ago in Camden County for driving while intoxicated

01:09:19.920 --> 01:09:23.699
and a judge there ordered that his driver's license

01:09:23.699 --> 01:09:27.859
be revoked effective July 23rd. Didn't he have

01:09:27.859 --> 01:09:34.600
cancer? I think he did. I think that's why he

01:09:34.600 --> 01:09:37.560
stepped down. Anyhow, go ahead. Camden County

01:09:37.560 --> 01:09:40.899
is where I live. Oh, I know. He got busted down

01:09:40.899 --> 01:09:45.220
here. Must have been partying at the lake. But

01:09:45.220 --> 01:09:48.279
on Friday, the judge stayed the order, effectively

01:09:48.279 --> 01:09:51.920
letting Tinkle continue to drive until at least

01:09:51.920 --> 01:09:55.399
a court hearing scheduled for September 25th.

01:09:56.140 --> 01:09:58.920
Tinkle's attorney had filed a motion claiming

01:09:58.920 --> 01:10:30.470
that Tinkle's arrest was not legal. Mm. Mm. division

01:10:30.470 --> 01:10:34.109
championships, three in the Big 12 and two in

01:10:34.109 --> 01:10:39.989
the SEC. In 2011, he pleaded guilty to DWI in

01:10:39.989 --> 01:10:43.149
Boone County and received two years probation.

01:10:44.109 --> 01:10:48.029
He had non -Hodgkin's lymphoma in May of 2015.

01:10:48.090 --> 01:10:51.420
He announced his retirement from coaching. after

01:10:51.420 --> 01:10:54.399
the 2015 season to focus on his treatment. He

01:10:54.399 --> 01:10:57.739
underwent chemotherapy, radiation for his cancer,

01:10:57.899 --> 01:11:01.579
and he went into remission in 2016, but the cancer

01:11:01.579 --> 01:11:05.039
reoccurred in 2019. Pinkle has continued to receive

01:11:05.039 --> 01:11:07.600
treatment and remains positive about his prognosis.

01:11:08.779 --> 01:11:11.420
So I guess he still has cancer and he's out there

01:11:11.420 --> 01:11:15.939
getting DUIs, okay. Yeah. Okay, all right. I

01:11:15.939 --> 01:11:17.539
mean, I guess you... Well, against me, it was

01:11:17.539 --> 01:11:21.000
the judge setting to revoke his license on July

01:11:21.000 --> 01:11:24.579
23rd. I thought as soon as you got arrested,

01:11:24.819 --> 01:11:27.520
you lost your license. Rob, this goes back to

01:11:27.520 --> 01:11:30.800
one of my segments that I put up about... Oh,

01:11:30.800 --> 01:11:34.579
yes, yes, yes. Never mind. Yeah. Power protects

01:11:34.579 --> 01:11:39.859
power. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, he has money. I knew,

01:11:39.899 --> 01:11:45.220
yeah. My hand. I knew that. Yeah, yeah. It's

01:11:45.220 --> 01:11:48.159
really a pretty big bag of bullshit if you think

01:11:48.159 --> 01:11:52.520
about it because there's different rules for

01:11:52.520 --> 01:11:55.800
different people. I thought we got away from

01:11:55.800 --> 01:12:00.619
England and that whole status stuff. No, it's

01:12:00.619 --> 01:12:05.100
still going on. Anyhow, are you ready for some

01:12:05.100 --> 01:12:10.500
ass paddlings? Sure. All right. Well, the first

01:12:10.500 --> 01:12:13.000
ass paddling, I'm sorry, Rob. I'm sorry, and

01:12:13.000 --> 01:12:14.600
I'm sorry, world, but I'm going to have to do

01:12:14.600 --> 01:12:19.260
this. Our good buddy Bill Ward of Black Sabbath

01:12:19.260 --> 01:12:22.060
is going to have to get an ass paddling. You

01:12:22.060 --> 01:12:26.340
know why, Rob? Why? He's 76, and he took his

01:12:26.340 --> 01:12:32.800
shirt off to drum. That should never happen.

01:12:33.840 --> 01:12:36.479
I'm sorry, Rob. Look at the footage. It's his

01:12:36.479 --> 01:12:41.880
final concert. But you've got to see him. It

01:12:41.880 --> 01:12:46.760
should never happen. Okay, yes. It hurts me to

01:12:46.760 --> 01:12:51.039
do this, but I have to. I have to. He has to

01:12:51.039 --> 01:12:53.899
learn about his behavior. The only way he's going

01:12:53.899 --> 01:12:55.859
to learn about his behavior is to get an ass

01:12:55.859 --> 01:12:59.739
paddling with old Sparky. It's his last time

01:12:59.739 --> 01:13:04.069
to feel young, though. Okay, hang on. Damn it,

01:13:04.069 --> 01:13:06.890
I'm going to scratch him off. Okay, Bill Ward,

01:13:07.010 --> 01:13:11.289
I'm sorry. Hang on. Okay, Bill Ward has been

01:13:11.289 --> 01:13:15.430
spared. It was not a free site. I didn't get

01:13:15.430 --> 01:13:19.529
that. It was his last time to feel young. Okay.

01:13:20.210 --> 01:13:24.909
Come on. Rob, you have convinced me. I'm sorry,

01:13:25.029 --> 01:13:29.250
Bill Ward. See, I've always been the nice guy.

01:13:29.569 --> 01:13:32.609
I know, I know, I know. It was hideous, though.

01:13:33.689 --> 01:13:37.470
It was. I'm not taking that from you at all.

01:13:37.529 --> 01:13:41.430
Okay, all right. He has been granted clemency.

01:13:41.550 --> 01:13:45.659
He will not get an ass paddling. Don't do it

01:13:45.659 --> 01:13:48.800
again, Bill. Yeah, if you do it again, you're

01:13:48.800 --> 01:13:51.500
automatic gas paddling. You're going straight

01:13:51.500 --> 01:13:55.500
to Hall of Fame. Yeah, and I'm going a step further.

01:13:55.600 --> 01:13:58.460
If Old Sparky is actually still in Cass Midway's

01:13:58.460 --> 01:14:00.439
trophy case, we're going to find a way to get

01:14:00.439 --> 01:14:03.899
that and use Old Sparky. Just for tradition.

01:14:05.159 --> 01:14:07.899
Oh, I guarantee you we can get it. Yeah, we use

01:14:07.899 --> 01:14:10.510
a replica of Old Sparky. And if you noticed,

01:14:10.569 --> 01:14:12.550
I did not go to the introduction about me and

01:14:12.550 --> 01:14:14.729
Topher walking on a beach and hitting the bottle

01:14:14.729 --> 01:14:18.050
and all that. Yeah. Yeah. I figure people are

01:14:18.050 --> 01:14:19.449
probably getting pretty sick of that by now,

01:14:19.529 --> 01:14:24.369
don't you think? Yeah. Okay. Anyhow, we give

01:14:24.369 --> 01:14:26.850
out invisible ass paddlings because Topher and

01:14:26.850 --> 01:14:28.750
I found a genie in a bottle. We let the genie

01:14:28.750 --> 01:14:30.890
out. We thought we got three wishes. He said,

01:14:30.949 --> 01:14:35.270
no, one wish, one wish only. And he told us to

01:14:35.270 --> 01:14:37.829
make it count. So we chose to turn invisible

01:14:37.829 --> 01:14:40.430
once a month. But now we got special permission

01:14:40.430 --> 01:14:43.430
for Rob to join us and be invisible and to do

01:14:43.430 --> 01:14:46.550
it twice a month, if needed, invisible ass paddlings

01:14:46.550 --> 01:14:48.430
to people that need it. And it's done with Old

01:14:48.430 --> 01:14:52.930
Sparky Replica. Old Sparky was the paddle that

01:14:52.930 --> 01:14:55.109
affected my bottom many times at Cass Midway

01:14:55.109 --> 01:14:58.010
growing up. It was not a nice thing. It was not

01:14:58.010 --> 01:15:00.850
a nice thing. So, anyhow. And actually, this

01:15:00.850 --> 01:15:07.470
last week, we got permission twice to start a

01:15:07.470 --> 01:15:10.770
different category. Yes, we did. And I can't

01:15:10.770 --> 01:15:12.930
wait for that. I know Rob's got... Yeah, our

01:15:12.930 --> 01:15:15.750
community category, I like that. Yeah. Rob's

01:15:15.750 --> 01:15:17.909
got pen and paper right now figuring this shit

01:15:17.909 --> 01:15:20.050
out. I can tell by the way you asked for that

01:15:20.050 --> 01:15:24.189
permission. Yes. All right. The next Ask Paddling

01:15:24.189 --> 01:15:26.409
is going to be any couple that named their child

01:15:26.409 --> 01:15:31.829
after a serial killer or criminal. Yep. Very

01:15:31.829 --> 01:15:35.229
much so. Very much so. All of you, we will find

01:15:35.229 --> 01:15:37.529
you and we will bring you to justice. Right,

01:15:37.630 --> 01:15:42.609
Rob? Yeah, boy. You cannot hide. We will find

01:15:42.609 --> 01:15:44.649
you, and you will be brought to justice for this

01:15:44.649 --> 01:15:49.949
atrocity. Next one. It's a little serious, but

01:15:49.949 --> 01:15:52.670
it's got to be done. FEMA and Camp Mystic both

01:15:52.670 --> 01:15:58.909
get ass paddlings. Yeah. Yeah. I know it's not

01:15:58.909 --> 01:16:05.930
funny at all. So, yeah. Okay, we move on. All

01:16:05.930 --> 01:16:12.500
the Epstein clients. I believe they received

01:16:12.500 --> 01:16:14.399
ass paddlings before, but they're going to get

01:16:14.399 --> 01:16:17.699
more. They're in the Hall of Fame, and we have

01:16:17.699 --> 01:16:20.300
special permission from the genie to paddle them

01:16:20.300 --> 01:16:26.159
daily. Daily. So, the next one. Oh, man, they

01:16:26.159 --> 01:16:35.140
like it too much. Yeah, you're right. The government

01:16:35.140 --> 01:16:38.310
for protecting. The Epstein clients. Not all

01:16:38.310 --> 01:16:40.210
of them are protecting them. There's a lot of

01:16:40.210 --> 01:16:42.869
government that wants them revealed. But the

01:16:42.869 --> 01:16:44.930
ones that are protecting them, they get ass paddlings.

01:16:45.970 --> 01:16:48.050
And they're in the Hall of Fame automatically.

01:16:50.010 --> 01:16:52.770
All right. The next one. Now, Rob, this hurts

01:16:52.770 --> 01:16:55.649
me. This hurts me. And it's going to hurt you,

01:16:55.689 --> 01:16:58.750
too. Okay. But stay calm when I say this. Okay,

01:16:58.850 --> 01:17:03.949
Rob? Okay. Take a breath. Taking a breath. Okay.

01:17:05.310 --> 01:17:14.789
ACDC. I have no choice. Yeah, after we talk to

01:17:14.789 --> 01:17:18.970
her, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm going to remember

01:17:18.970 --> 01:17:23.470
them the way they were. You do. You do. You want

01:17:23.470 --> 01:17:26.409
to do that. Do not look it up because I cannot

01:17:26.409 --> 01:17:30.109
unsee that video. And I hate myself for watching

01:17:30.109 --> 01:17:36.470
it, Rob. All right. Pam Bondi for holding out

01:17:36.470 --> 01:17:41.350
on the release of the Epstein client. And I know

01:17:41.350 --> 01:17:43.890
I said government, but that was everybody else.

01:17:44.069 --> 01:17:47.029
Pam Bondi in particular does not want to let

01:17:47.029 --> 01:17:51.090
go of this list. So I think, yeah, and she might

01:17:51.090 --> 01:17:52.869
be kind of fun to give an ass paddling to. What

01:17:52.869 --> 01:17:57.090
do you think? Oh, yeah, I bet. Yeah. I don't

01:17:57.090 --> 01:17:58.729
know. After everything that's happened to her,

01:17:58.770 --> 01:18:04.369
she may not be that much fun. Yeah, true. Yeah,

01:18:04.989 --> 01:18:08.399
there's going to be some PTSD there. I think

01:18:08.399 --> 01:18:13.600
you're right. I think you're right. Oh, yeah,

01:18:13.680 --> 01:18:18.500
she'd turn around. Honestly, I don't blame her

01:18:18.500 --> 01:18:24.199
for not wanting to let go of him. She lets go

01:18:24.199 --> 01:18:28.819
of him. Nobody will ever see him again. Yeah,

01:18:28.819 --> 01:18:32.859
maybe so. Okay, all right. Okay, it's still fun

01:18:32.859 --> 01:18:36.140
to threaten. Yeah, I know. Okay. You know what?

01:18:36.180 --> 01:18:40.460
It's too complex of a subject. It's cool. The

01:18:40.460 --> 01:18:42.899
next one is the Federal Reserve. They get an

01:18:42.899 --> 01:18:46.659
ass paddling because inflation is way down. And

01:18:46.659 --> 01:18:49.279
our president, whether you love him or not, he's

01:18:49.279 --> 01:18:51.239
over there begging the Federal Reserve to lower

01:18:51.239 --> 01:18:53.739
the interest rate. And they're going, I don't

01:18:53.739 --> 01:18:58.060
know. And I got a story on them that it's not

01:18:58.060 --> 01:19:01.520
going to be in the regular podcast. So, and then

01:19:01.520 --> 01:19:06.720
finally, finally. Dan Bongino. Just because it'd

01:19:06.720 --> 01:19:12.739
be hilarious seeing him squirm and yell. Imagine

01:19:12.739 --> 01:19:19.420
him getting an ass paddling. He would just flip

01:19:19.420 --> 01:19:21.420
out. I mean, he's got that kind of funny looking,

01:19:21.520 --> 01:19:24.939
kind of mean looking face anyhow. I mean, look,

01:19:24.979 --> 01:19:29.420
I respect him greatly. Everything that he's done

01:19:29.420 --> 01:19:32.859
in his life. But it'd be fun to give him an ass

01:19:32.859 --> 01:19:37.130
paddling. He'd probably kill me afterwards with

01:19:37.130 --> 01:19:39.550
a razor blade or something. Or no, no, his bare

01:19:39.550 --> 01:19:42.649
hands. He'd do the old membrane trick. He'd come

01:19:42.649 --> 01:19:45.390
up and smack me in the nose with his palm and

01:19:45.390 --> 01:19:48.210
shove my membrane way back and kill me. Probably,

01:19:48.310 --> 01:19:53.789
right? Probably. Yeah. Dan Bongino, we're only

01:19:53.789 --> 01:19:57.770
joking. We're only joking. So, that is the end

01:19:57.770 --> 01:20:00.810
of the list. So, Rob, we once again turn to you.

01:20:06.859 --> 01:20:10.840
The post -49ers George Kittle gets in the fight

01:20:10.840 --> 01:20:15.119
with WWE star appeared first on Clutch Points.

01:20:16.199 --> 01:20:20.180
While at the American Century Celebrity Championship,

01:20:20.680 --> 01:20:25.520
which is a golf tournament, on Sunday, San Francisco

01:20:25.520 --> 01:20:29.739
49ers tight end George Kittle resumed his feud

01:20:29.739 --> 01:20:34.680
with WWE superstar The Miz. They met on the links

01:20:34.680 --> 01:20:37.300
during the event. Kittle and The Miz exchanged

01:20:37.300 --> 01:20:40.720
words. As The Miz gloated towards the crowd,

01:20:40.979 --> 01:20:45.140
Kittle tuned up the band, hitting a Shawn Michaels

01:20:45.140 --> 01:20:51.539
-like super kick on The Miz. Cool. Yeah, it's

01:20:51.539 --> 01:20:56.140
a good kick on the video. Previously, the two

01:20:56.140 --> 01:21:00.359
got physical at WrestleMania 39. Kittle jumped

01:21:00.359 --> 01:21:03.359
the barricade to hit a clothesline on The Miz

01:21:03.359 --> 01:21:07.020
during his match against... Pat McAfee, a fellow

01:21:07.020 --> 01:21:10.680
NFL player. Oh, I didn't know Pat McAfee is doing

01:21:10.680 --> 01:21:17.060
wrestling now. Oh, he's commentator. Oh, he's

01:21:17.060 --> 01:21:19.840
commentator. Okay. Okay, so he just went over

01:21:19.840 --> 01:21:22.579
there and kicked it. No, he did have a match

01:21:22.579 --> 01:21:25.220
against Miz. He's had a match, maybe a couple

01:21:25.220 --> 01:21:27.220
matches against Miz, I think. Okay, because he

01:21:27.220 --> 01:21:29.699
does a really good podcast, and I think he's

01:21:29.699 --> 01:21:34.989
on SiriusXM2, maybe. Anyhow. Yeah, yeah. Honestly,

01:21:35.189 --> 01:21:37.789
he's not too shabby in the ring. Well, he is

01:21:37.789 --> 01:21:40.449
a football player. He is a kicker, but he's still,

01:21:40.529 --> 01:21:46.130
you know. Eventually, Kittle will retire from

01:21:46.130 --> 01:21:49.350
playing football. He is already heading into

01:21:49.350 --> 01:21:53.109
his ninth year in the NFL, and he's still at

01:21:53.109 --> 01:21:57.229
the top of his game. Still, Father Time is undefeated.

01:21:57.510 --> 01:22:01.140
Kittle will eventually hang it up. After that,

01:22:01.300 --> 01:22:06.060
he seems open to potentially join WWE. He previously

01:22:06.060 --> 01:22:10.340
said that he would love to do WWE after hanging

01:22:10.340 --> 01:22:13.520
up the cleats. I think there's definitely an

01:22:13.520 --> 01:22:16.579
opportunity within that world, and I would love

01:22:16.579 --> 01:22:18.960
nothing more than to be part of it, he explained.

01:22:19.659 --> 01:22:23.460
My only question mark is that I love being a

01:22:23.460 --> 01:22:29.800
fan of WWE. I would only do WWE. If I bought

01:22:29.800 --> 01:22:33.340
a ring and practiced my ass off for a long time,

01:22:33.539 --> 01:22:37.720
so I wouldn't look like an idiot out there. He

01:22:37.720 --> 01:22:40.119
would do good, I think. He's an interesting looking

01:22:40.119 --> 01:22:44.560
guy. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah, I think

01:22:44.560 --> 01:22:46.739
he would do. He's tall. He's got a good build.

01:22:46.779 --> 01:22:51.680
I think he would be an excellent fit. Oh, I seen

01:22:51.680 --> 01:22:56.140
that clothesline he put on the Miz. That was

01:22:56.140 --> 01:22:59.439
a top -notch clothesline. And then this super

01:22:59.439 --> 01:23:04.180
kid, yeah, he just flat out put him down right

01:23:04.180 --> 01:23:09.159
there on the golf course. Nice. Yeah. I'm going

01:23:09.159 --> 01:23:11.380
to have to look that up on YouTube. I want to

01:23:11.380 --> 01:23:20.000
see that. You can watch it on X or it's on NBC

01:23:20.000 --> 01:23:24.800
Sports. Oh, okay. All right. On YouTube also.

01:23:25.100 --> 01:23:28.220
I guarantee it's on YouTube. Oh, yeah, yeah,

01:23:28.279 --> 01:23:30.439
I'll find it. He's really good friends with a

01:23:30.439 --> 01:23:35.100
lot of the Chiefs, too. He got in a little bit

01:23:35.100 --> 01:23:38.039
of shit, though, during the Super Bowl, the second

01:23:38.039 --> 01:23:40.880
one against the 49ers. Him and Karloftis were

01:23:40.880 --> 01:23:43.279
bullshitting each other about their names because

01:23:43.279 --> 01:23:48.880
both of them are George. And Karloftis noticed

01:23:48.880 --> 01:23:52.359
that the ball came loose while Kittle was messing

01:23:52.359 --> 01:23:55.760
with him. And Karloff just got the ball and Kittle

01:23:55.760 --> 01:23:58.520
stood there while he was talking. And a lot of

01:23:58.520 --> 01:24:00.579
people blamed him for the loss, but it was not

01:24:00.579 --> 01:24:07.640
his fault. So, anyhow. All right. You want to,

01:24:07.720 --> 01:24:10.319
let's see. Okay, I got one here I'm going to

01:24:10.319 --> 01:24:15.020
go into because I had a little piece. On inflation

01:24:15.020 --> 01:24:18.640
and as a comparative, like a Big Mac in 1990

01:24:18.640 --> 01:24:21.920
as compared to the cost now, a house, all that

01:24:21.920 --> 01:24:23.840
stuff. But you know what? We've been hitting

01:24:23.840 --> 01:24:26.159
serious for a while, right? So let's shift back

01:24:26.159 --> 01:24:29.279
to goofy stories and dick jokes for a little

01:24:29.279 --> 01:24:31.020
bit. You know, we're going to waffle between,

01:24:31.239 --> 01:24:38.260
right? Okay. Okay. July 1st, real estate agent

01:24:38.260 --> 01:24:43.130
John Boline. of pennsylvania was sentenced to

01:24:43.130 --> 01:24:47.449
a one -year probation and a 200 fine he was ordered

01:24:47.449 --> 01:24:50.590
to pay close to 60 000 reimbursement to american

01:24:50.590 --> 01:24:55.090
airlines the cost to them when they had to cancel

01:24:55.090 --> 01:24:59.649
the flight mr bowline was uh scheduled to be

01:24:59.649 --> 01:25:03.590
on bowline burst through tsa security and ran

01:25:03.590 --> 01:25:06.949
to the boarding area and on to his flight when

01:25:06.949 --> 01:25:12.569
the crew were informed a man entered who hadn't

01:25:12.569 --> 01:25:14.810
went through security, and they had to cancel

01:25:14.810 --> 01:25:16.930
the whole flight, dude. Could you imagine that?

01:25:17.189 --> 01:25:19.109
There you are. You go through all that bullshit.

01:25:19.270 --> 01:25:22.510
You go through all the TSA, all that waiting.

01:25:22.649 --> 01:25:24.909
You get on your flight, and then because some

01:25:24.909 --> 01:25:27.949
idiot does something like that, thinks he's special,

01:25:28.109 --> 01:25:31.409
he threw $50 at one of the security guards chasing

01:25:31.409 --> 01:25:33.470
him, and he said, here, this ought to cover my

01:25:33.470 --> 01:25:37.949
expenses. And so, you know, you can't do that.

01:25:37.989 --> 01:25:40.210
You've got to go through security. I mean, you

01:25:40.210 --> 01:25:41.869
don't have to take your shoes off anymore, buddy.

01:25:41.970 --> 01:25:43.689
It wasn't that bad. If you're that worried about

01:25:43.689 --> 01:25:46.430
it, either get pre -check or global access. I

01:25:46.430 --> 01:25:49.289
suggest global access. You're right through in

01:25:49.289 --> 01:25:51.670
like 10 minutes at the most with global access.

01:25:52.189 --> 01:25:55.430
So anyhow, you know, and also another thing,

01:25:55.489 --> 01:25:57.470
while this idiot's doing this, I hope passengers

01:25:57.470 --> 01:26:00.649
also sue him besides the airline. You know, the

01:26:00.649 --> 01:26:03.109
airline won 60 grand from him, but because some

01:26:03.109 --> 01:26:07.590
might have missed weddings, events, vacations.

01:26:10.579 --> 01:26:14.100
You know, maybe a relative dying. Maybe you got

01:26:14.100 --> 01:26:16.260
a great aunt in Connecticut you want to go say

01:26:16.260 --> 01:26:19.399
goodbye to. You miss that flight and she dies

01:26:19.399 --> 01:26:22.060
because you couldn't make it there on time because

01:26:22.060 --> 01:26:24.760
your flight was canceled because this idiot thought

01:26:24.760 --> 01:26:27.699
he could run through security and throw $50 at

01:26:27.699 --> 01:26:30.140
a security guard and run right onto the plane.

01:26:31.060 --> 01:26:33.939
I mean, really. I mean, that guy needs a baseball

01:26:33.939 --> 01:26:38.630
bat to his fucking head. Yeah. Yeah. So I don't

01:26:38.630 --> 01:26:40.149
have any more about that. I just thought that

01:26:40.149 --> 01:26:42.750
that was a story that really kind of enraged

01:26:42.750 --> 01:26:45.409
me. Because of that guy, I'm sure people missed

01:26:45.409 --> 01:26:50.369
major stuff. You know, at least on that plane,

01:26:50.390 --> 01:26:54.229
there was at least a couple people really needing

01:26:54.229 --> 01:26:56.289
to get to somewhere, whether it's a relative

01:26:56.289 --> 01:26:58.390
dying. Business meetings. Yeah, business meetings,

01:26:58.470 --> 01:27:01.069
all this stuff. I hope they all sue him because

01:27:01.069 --> 01:27:03.909
he was directly responsible by running through

01:27:03.909 --> 01:27:11.430
TSA and jumping on his flight. So, anyhow, Rob,

01:27:11.649 --> 01:27:15.430
do you want to keep going? It's 9 .09. Yeah,

01:27:15.449 --> 01:27:17.250
I got another one here. All right, please go.

01:27:18.590 --> 01:27:22.130
A veteran ghost hunter died suddenly while touring

01:27:22.130 --> 01:27:28.130
the U .S. with a possessed doll in one of America's

01:27:28.130 --> 01:27:36.369
most haunted towns. Okay. Dan Riviera, 54, was

01:27:36.369 --> 01:27:39.850
in Gettysburg, Pennsylvania for his Devils on

01:27:39.850 --> 01:27:43.890
the Run tour, a chilling cross -country event

01:27:43.890 --> 01:27:48.949
featuring the infamous Annabelle doll, when he

01:27:48.949 --> 01:27:52.250
was found unresponsive at his hotel Sunday night.

01:27:53.710 --> 01:27:58.770
Okay. You ever heard of the Annabelle doll? No,

01:27:58.770 --> 01:28:01.489
I haven't. Please go ahead. Okay, well, okay

01:28:01.489 --> 01:28:03.270
then. A little bit more and then I'll go into

01:28:03.270 --> 01:28:06.289
the antebellum. Okay, that's fine. Emergency

01:28:06.289 --> 01:28:10.029
dispatch laws confirmed a CPR in progress call

01:28:10.029 --> 01:28:12.529
for a man matching his age, according to the

01:28:12.529 --> 01:28:17.069
New England Society for Psychic Research, where

01:28:17.069 --> 01:28:20.630
he served as lead investigator. The organization

01:28:20.630 --> 01:28:24.449
later confirmed his death, though the cause remains

01:28:24.449 --> 01:28:29.180
unknown. Rivera had built a loyal fan base through

01:28:29.180 --> 01:28:33.680
his ghost hunting work and viral content, reviving

01:28:33.680 --> 01:28:36.840
the eerie legends of Annabelle and other cursed

01:28:36.840 --> 01:28:41.039
relics. His final stop in Gettysburg, a Civil

01:28:41.039 --> 01:28:44.720
War town, long said to be haunted, was completely

01:28:44.720 --> 01:28:49.500
sold out. The Annabelle doll gained notoriety

01:28:49.500 --> 01:28:53.180
through paranormal investigators, Ed and Lorraine

01:28:53.180 --> 01:28:56.819
Warren. who kept it locked in a glass case in

01:28:56.819 --> 01:29:00.800
their private occult museum and famously warned

01:29:00.800 --> 01:29:04.100
visitors never to touch it. The couple's work

01:29:04.100 --> 01:29:07.859
inspired the Conjuring films and remains central

01:29:07.859 --> 01:29:13.920
of modern paranormal lore. Yeah, this Annabelle

01:29:13.920 --> 01:29:16.340
doll, it's supposed to be one of the most haunted

01:29:16.340 --> 01:29:18.619
dolls. I'm going to have to read up on that.

01:29:18.899 --> 01:29:20.979
That's right up my alley. That's stuff I love.

01:29:23.019 --> 01:29:27.100
Yeah. The Devil's on a Room Tour during which

01:29:27.100 --> 01:29:30.939
the doll was removed. It's sealed case for a

01:29:30.939 --> 01:29:34.800
series of public events. Well, this guy took

01:29:34.800 --> 01:29:38.680
it out of the case. Oh. The doll's been in a

01:29:38.680 --> 01:29:42.239
case. That's on him. And he's been taking it.

01:29:44.159 --> 01:29:47.380
And has come under growing scrutiny with fans

01:29:47.380 --> 01:29:52.939
fearing its dark energy could be unleashed. Even

01:29:52.939 --> 01:29:55.840
the Warren's grandson, Chris McKinnell, spoke

01:29:55.840 --> 01:30:00.220
out, telling the Mirror that he respects Annabelle's

01:30:00.220 --> 01:30:03.800
power. McKinnell, who grew up around the family's

01:30:03.800 --> 01:30:07.880
haunted artifact collection, called it a prison

01:30:07.880 --> 01:30:12.960
for dangerous objects. Still, he doesn't believe

01:30:12.960 --> 01:30:16.600
Annabelle is demonic. I don't believe it's a

01:30:16.600 --> 01:30:21.100
demon, but I do believe it has energy. It's reactive.

01:30:21.869 --> 01:30:25.270
Not active. So why doesn't it break out of its

01:30:25.270 --> 01:30:29.109
case? It's reactive, not active, we told her.

01:30:30.010 --> 01:30:33.829
Okay, so it's not going to get just mischievous

01:30:33.829 --> 01:30:37.510
and just jump out of the case like Chucky. It's

01:30:37.510 --> 01:30:40.229
reactive to... No, no. Okay, I got you. Right.

01:30:41.130 --> 01:30:45.010
It has to be taken out. The Raggedy Ann doll's

01:30:45.010 --> 01:30:49.029
paranormal legend dates back to the 1970s when

01:30:49.029 --> 01:30:52.619
it was apparently given as a gift to... a nurse

01:30:52.619 --> 01:30:56.359
in Hartford, Connecticut, before beginning to

01:30:56.359 --> 01:31:01.479
exhibit disturbing behavior. Annabelle was thought

01:31:01.479 --> 01:31:04.779
to be possessed by the spirit of a dead child

01:31:04.779 --> 01:31:10.140
and was said to move on her own. Leave terrifying

01:31:10.140 --> 01:31:13.659
handwritten notes and even allegedly attack someone.

01:31:14.800 --> 01:31:17.899
The case caught the attention of the Warrens,

01:31:17.899 --> 01:31:22.079
who concluded Annabelle was... being manipulated

01:31:22.079 --> 01:31:27.119
by a demonic entity. Due to the popularity of

01:31:27.119 --> 01:31:31.479
the story and subsequent film franchise, the

01:31:31.479 --> 01:31:34.340
real Annabelle doll was removed from its secure

01:31:34.340 --> 01:31:38.239
case and included in the Devils on the Run tour,

01:31:38.319 --> 01:31:49.060
which began 3 May. During one of the stops, visitors

01:31:49.060 --> 01:31:52.560
claimed that the three -foot -tall doll had vanished

01:31:52.560 --> 01:31:56.800
without explanation, sparking a wave of online

01:31:56.800 --> 01:32:02.460
panic and conspiracy theories. Tensions escalated

01:32:02.460 --> 01:32:05.239
further after a fire broke out at a historic

01:32:05.239 --> 01:32:10.600
resort in White Castle, Louisiana, and ten inmates

01:32:10.600 --> 01:32:14.079
escaped from a New Orleans prison, all within

01:32:14.079 --> 01:32:17.239
days of Annabelle being accepted into state.

01:32:19.309 --> 01:32:26.149
Wow. You remember them ten inmates breaking out

01:32:26.149 --> 01:32:29.649
of Louisiana prison a while back? Yeah, yeah.

01:32:30.449 --> 01:32:34.609
Yeah, this was during that time period. Okay,

01:32:34.989 --> 01:32:39.069
that's what I thought you were saying. Yeah.

01:32:39.430 --> 01:32:42.710
Okay, wow. I was thinking it was bad mojo off

01:32:42.710 --> 01:32:46.189
that. Yeah. So they found him unresponsive. What

01:32:46.189 --> 01:32:51.109
was the conclusion? They don't know yet. Oh,

01:32:51.109 --> 01:32:55.010
okay. Well, I haven't found a report on it yet.

01:32:56.369 --> 01:32:58.770
I'm interested in that. I'm interested in that.

01:32:59.170 --> 01:33:02.649
Yeah, because I want to find out why. Yeah, me

01:33:02.649 --> 01:33:06.109
too. I mean, you know, it's probably going to

01:33:06.109 --> 01:33:08.409
be like an aneurysm or a heart attack or something.

01:33:08.829 --> 01:33:10.729
Something that's going to be like, hmm, boy,

01:33:10.770 --> 01:33:13.470
that's odd, but something you can't prove. You

01:33:13.470 --> 01:33:20.510
know what I mean? 54, yeah. I mean, they always

01:33:20.510 --> 01:33:22.930
have to come up with a cause of death. That's

01:33:22.930 --> 01:33:28.090
what I'm saying. Right. Yeah. Okay. Wow. That's

01:33:28.090 --> 01:33:30.930
a cool story. Thank you, Rob. Do you want to

01:33:30.930 --> 01:33:34.670
keep going or do you want to shut it down? If

01:33:34.670 --> 01:33:37.109
you got something else, go ahead. I got something.

01:33:37.369 --> 01:33:42.029
That's all I have. Okay. You know what? Nah.

01:33:42.529 --> 01:33:47.130
I'm going to save this for next time. The reason

01:33:47.130 --> 01:33:52.489
is, is because the rest of the stories that I

01:33:52.489 --> 01:33:54.710
have don't really match the podcast we're doing

01:33:54.710 --> 01:33:58.489
right now. Right. So I'm going to choose to just

01:33:58.489 --> 01:33:59.810
go ahead and leave him alone, and we're going

01:33:59.810 --> 01:34:03.170
to go ahead and end this bitch. Sound good? All

01:34:03.170 --> 01:34:09.930
right. Grandma Opal is... Grandma Opal. She is

01:34:09.930 --> 01:34:12.329
doing a little bit better. A little bit better.

01:34:12.409 --> 01:34:14.890
Good, good. So hopefully she's in the right direction.

01:34:15.630 --> 01:34:18.069
But Jimmy, of course, is still very concerned,

01:34:18.189 --> 01:34:20.550
and so are we. So keep praying for her, great

01:34:20.550 --> 01:34:23.789
woman. Yes, I will keep praying. Yeah, she has

01:34:23.789 --> 01:34:27.250
a variety of things wrong with her. You know,

01:34:27.329 --> 01:34:31.170
I mean, that's what you get. So anyhow, Grandma,

01:34:31.409 --> 01:34:33.430
I hope you listened to the last episode, and

01:34:33.430 --> 01:34:35.310
I hope you listen to this here really soon. And

01:34:35.310 --> 01:34:38.729
hopefully we bring a smile to you because you

01:34:38.729 --> 01:34:43.170
are our best listener ever, right? Yes, yes.

01:34:44.240 --> 01:34:50.699
And Jimmy, too. Yep. Yes. And Jimmy. And Jimmy,

01:34:50.800 --> 01:34:53.960
because Jimmy turned his grandma on to us. So,

01:34:54.000 --> 01:34:58.420
anyhow, Dodge City, Kansas. Rah, rah. All right.

01:34:58.619 --> 01:35:01.060
Everybody, thank you. Have a great night. Thank

01:35:01.060 --> 01:35:02.840
you for listening, assholes. Good night, assholes.

01:35:04.140 --> 01:35:08.800
Good night, assholes. Oh, no. Looks like the

01:35:08.800 --> 01:35:11.840
show's over, kids. Mark has explosive diarrhea

01:35:11.840 --> 01:35:15.859
and can't afford a wireless mic. Fear not, assholes.

01:35:15.899 --> 01:35:18.119
They'll be back invading your ear holes soon.