WEBVTT

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Hey, you fucking derelicts. It's time for the

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Daily Douchebag Pledge. I, Joe or Jane Listener,

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hereby promise to download the show. I, Joe or

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Jane Listener. Hereby promise to grab other people's

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phones, unattended computers, public computers,

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and all of my work computers as well, and download

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the show from there. I, Joe or Jane Listener,

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hereby promise to make other people listen. I,

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Joe or Jane Listener. will hereby lie to everyone

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about how quality the show is. I, Joe or Jane

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Listener, promise to make all my family members

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listen and recite the daily douchebag pledge.

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And finally, I, Joe or Jane Listener, hereby

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promise to make the trek to Knobloch, Missouri,

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just to have a selfie with the Knobloch sign.

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Here at Two Douchebags and a Microphone, we don't

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stand behind our journalistic integrity. Go ahead

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and assume we got the story wrong. At least we

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admit it. Not like all those other guys. We can

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and will lie if it makes the story better. Two

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douchebags and a microphone. Strange, but true.

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In 1903, two unrelated men named Will and William

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West, identical in appearance, were both sent

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to Leavenworth Prison, causing confusion. This

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led to the adoption of fingerprint identification.

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Have you ever wondered what something came about?

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Have you ever looked at something and said, I

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wonder what the origin of that is? Well, so have

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we. That's why we give you The Origin of. This

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is the origin of the Big Mac. The original Big

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Mac sauce was created in 1968 at a McDonald's

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in Pittsburgh by a franchise owner named Jim

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Delegati. to serve with the Big Mac itself. The

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sauce first came in two different flavors, but

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then they were ultimately combined by McDonald's

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head honcho Ray Kroc in 1972 in order to ensure

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consistency. Hey, my fellow heavy breeders, this

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is Dash Riptide, your music news. Jakey Lee has

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an update on his would -be assassins. The gun

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was tied to two previous murders, Jakey Lee shares.

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The former Ozzy Osbourne guitarist confirms that

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suspects have been caught and will face sentencing

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in July. The 68 -year -old guitarist was best

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known for his tenure in Ozzy Osbourne between

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1982 and 1987. Previously revealed that he was

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shot multiple times while walking his dog in

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Las Vegas. Now, when a Facebook post shared last

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week, Lee says that justice is on the horizon.

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The two that shot me have been caught and face

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sentencing next month, he writes. The gun was

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tied to two previous murders, so my case is almost

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an afterthought. They're going bye -bye for a

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long time. On that happy thought, see you on

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TV. Jakey Lee also chimed in on why he is going

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to be a part of Ozzy's farewell performance on

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July 5th. Tom Morello called me. He said, there's

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going to be a thing, an original Sabbath performance

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in Ozzy Osbourne's final performance. I can't

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see this going on without Jakey Lee in there

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somewhere, he recalls. Lee, who played on hits

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like Bark at the Moon and Killer Giants during

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his stint with Ozzy Osbourne in the 80s, says

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he's excited about the upcoming show, both as

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a participant, as an audience member, even if

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he hasn't been in contact with Ozzy for years.

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It's a thrill to be a part of it, he says, and

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even more so for me to watch it. I hope Ozzy

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can get through it. I haven't spoke to him or

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seen him in decades. I really don't know what

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condition he's in, but he deserves a final farewell

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performance. No matter how he is or how well

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he is singing, he deserves to have that final

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farewell. I'm happy to be a part of it. Thank

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you, Jake. We appreciate this. This is Gash Rooktine,

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and that was your music news. If it's too loud,

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you probably have ear damage, just like me. Jam

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X. What the hell happened? You were the generation

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of change. You never wanted to be one of them.

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Apathy spoke for you. Fuck the man. Fuck the

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system. What the hell happened? The generation

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of angst? The generation of noncompliance? is

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now buying a boat? You're really fed up to kill

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someone who dangled a dollar near you. Great

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job, Xers. Everything's ruined. Remember to bleach

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your Bluetooth after every show. Two douchebags

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and a microphone. I'm Mark here in the Kansas

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City vicinity from the Talk is Cheap Studio.

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Like always, I can't talk. Anyhow. And I am Rob

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from the beautiful Niagara Arm of Lake of the

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Ozarks in the Duck Blind Studio. All right. And

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what I was trying to spit out is the Talk is

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Cheap Studio here in Kansas City. And here's

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the Duck Blind Studio at the beautiful Niagara

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Arm of Lake of the Ozarks. So, Rob, I got some

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stuff I'd like to go over here and get your comments

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on, like always. So, I spoke of this before,

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but the guy is doing this again. There's a park

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right behind the city market on the hill. And

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this guy, he goes around and he plants little

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flags and dog shit people neglected to pick up

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after their dog pinched a loaf out. They're little

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bitty flags. And they're little triangle flags

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with a little stick. And on the flag, it reads,

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I don't love my city. Do you remember me speaking

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about that before? Yeah. Yeah, okay. Well, he's

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doing it again. You know, this is cute. It's

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catchy. It's a little funny, but it's not a deterrent.

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Do you agree? Yeah. That's not going to make

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anyone pick up their dog shit. As a matter of

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fact, it might make them try to get the dog to

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shit a little bit more. So, I was talking to

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some locals that live in the lofts right behind

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the city park there. And they were talking about

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how the guy put in security cameras in the trees

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and posted photos of the offenders. Now, this

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is perfectly legal, but I'm thinking of this.

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I would love to put on a mask of a German Shepherd.

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and go around taking dumps in the park. Now,

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wouldn't that be funny? Yeah. Yeah, he'd get

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these photos of a guy in a German Shepherd mask

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taking shits everywhere. I don't know what he'd

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do. He'd probably be like, what the hell? He'd

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probably just fucking seize up and have a heart

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attack. So, anyhow, you know, plus someone out

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strolling, they'd see a man -sized stink brick.

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Steaming up the turf. Now, wouldn't that be funny?

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Someone walking along like, oh, oh my God, look

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at that thing. The hell? Are there bears up here

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now? Big old fucking stink log just fucking smelling

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it up. 95 degree day. I think it'd be funny,

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Rob, but I don't know. That's just me, I guess.

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So, you know, I mean, someone come up and go,

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you know, hey man, you know, what is that? An

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Irish wolfhound that love fucking corn? What

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the hell's going on here? What is this huge fucking

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turd here? How did it get here? I don't know.

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I just think it'd be funny. So, I read where

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the Pope gets a salary of $32 ,000 per month.

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All the living expenses and everything fully

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paid. The new Pope Leo is already going on a

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six -week vacation in Italy. Castel Gandolfo.

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The Vatican has a private resort there. I'm just

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floored. I mean, how much vacation does the Pope

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get a year? He just started, and he's already

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on a six -week hiatus to this Castel di Golfo,

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or whatever. The Vatican has a private resort

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there. Can you believe that? I mean, what does

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the Pope do? I mean, I'm not bagging on Catholic

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religion. I'm not bagging on it. I'm just saying,

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I mean. Was this guy's day consistent? It has

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nothing to do with religion, Mark. Nah, I would

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tend to agree with you there. No, once you reach

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the top, you get what you want. It don't matter

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what you do. Yeah, and you know what? We have

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a little I Call Bullshit segment on that too,

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don't we? Yeah, we do. Yeah, we do. And I think

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it might be in the first segment, but if not,

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you'll hear it coming up. And it is a plain and

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honest truth as far as we believe. You agree

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with it, don't you, Rob? Yeah, I mean, when you

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reach the top, which evidently the Pope has done

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in his career. Yes. You've got all the benefits

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you want. Yeah, you're right. You're right. So.

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I mean, now, you know, the Pope, he has such

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a great gig, you know, not like the president.

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You know, he doesn't have people shooting him.

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But I think Pope John Paul II was shot, remember,

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a few years back? Yes, he was. Yeah. So they

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do get shot at, but presidents are more sought

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after for possible assassinations. I was thinking

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that, you know, what a great gig. They get all

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these benefits, and they don't have to have all

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the ugliness of political stuff. I mean, besides

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the abortion issue and the gay issue and all

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that that the Catholic Church is constantly bickering

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about amongst themselves and all that. So besides

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that, he really doesn't have, to me, that stressful

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of a job like a president does, and he gets treated

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better than a president. So I got to looking,

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and I thought, you know, well, Pope, He does

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have somewhat of an assassination threat, but

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not like a president does. So, you want to know

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how many murdered popes there were, Rob? How

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many? About 20. I'm not joking. I looked this

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up, and I'm going to read a few of them right

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here. And some of them were back to the old holy

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wars and all that stuff and everything. And,

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you know, they were murdered by other forces

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and all that. These are like actual murders that

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happened to popes in the past. So, murdered popes.

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And this isn't all of them, like I said. Pope

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Pius I, saint. He was murdered. He was crushed

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to death. Doesn't say how. Pope John VIII. He

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was from 1872 to 1882. He was poisoned and then

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clubbed to death. Pope Stephen XI, 896 to 897,

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he was strangled. Pope Leo V... Yeah, I know.

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Leo V, Pope Leo V, 903 was the year, allegedly

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strangled. Pope X, 914 to 928 AD, of course,

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allegedly smothered with a pillow. John XII,

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955 A .D. to 964 A .D., allegedly murdered by

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a jealous husband of the woman who he was in

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bed with. There are actually many more violent...

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Okay, I understand that one. Yeah, yeah, I get

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that one. Rage, yeah, what the fuck. You're the

00:12:53.120 --> 00:12:54.799
Pope, what the hell are you doing with my girl?

00:12:54.960 --> 00:12:58.500
Yeah, yeah, flipped out. But it does not say

00:12:58.500 --> 00:13:02.059
how he was murdered on that one. but there are

00:13:02.059 --> 00:13:04.679
actually many more violent poke deaths at the

00:13:04.679 --> 00:13:09.200
hands of an enemy. You know, so after I said

00:13:09.200 --> 00:13:11.740
all that, I stand corrected. I think the president

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might be a more safe gig. What do you think?

00:13:15.639 --> 00:13:20.659
Yeah, maybe. Yeah. Well, I say, once again, in

00:13:20.659 --> 00:13:22.659
your career, you've got to watch what you do.

00:13:23.039 --> 00:13:27.080
Exactly. So here's what I end this with. Enjoy

00:13:27.080 --> 00:13:33.500
your vacay, Leo, and watch your back. Jeez. So,

00:13:33.600 --> 00:13:36.279
I move on. Something completely different here,

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Rob. No, you know, that's what we do. Alright,

00:13:40.080 --> 00:13:42.340
so Carnival is pissing off more people, Rob.

00:13:42.419 --> 00:13:47.799
Can you believe that? Carnival Cruise? I know,

00:13:47.899 --> 00:13:51.399
I know, Rob. I was flabbergasted, whatever the

00:13:51.399 --> 00:13:54.460
fuck that means. I was flabbergasted when I heard

00:13:54.460 --> 00:13:57.080
the news on this. I'm like, really? This new

00:13:57.080 --> 00:14:00.029
bitch in charge is pissing more people off? How

00:14:00.029 --> 00:14:03.429
weird. So, the ones that were telling me and

00:14:03.429 --> 00:14:06.350
the other Platinum and Diamond members good riddance

00:14:06.350 --> 00:14:09.509
and when they fucked us are now getting the shaft.

00:14:09.990 --> 00:14:13.169
Ha fucking ha. I had people on there, ha ha,

00:14:13.309 --> 00:14:16.330
fuck out of here, older white bastard and all

00:14:16.330 --> 00:14:18.909
this. All these fucking horrible comments. And

00:14:18.909 --> 00:14:21.690
I'm like, fuck you guys, you know. I can have

00:14:21.690 --> 00:14:23.570
fun with you guys too, but obviously you have

00:14:23.570 --> 00:14:27.230
a fucking problem with me. You know. So, listen

00:14:27.230 --> 00:14:30.100
to this. This is what Carnival did. So Carnival

00:14:30.100 --> 00:14:32.720
Cruise Line is under fire again. The dumb bitch

00:14:32.720 --> 00:14:35.860
in charge is at it again. This dunce could write

00:14:35.860 --> 00:14:38.200
a book, How to Destroy a Brand in One Month or

00:14:38.200 --> 00:14:42.080
Less. I said this before. Think Xerox in the

00:14:42.080 --> 00:14:45.960
80s. They took a blue chip stock and turned it

00:14:45.960 --> 00:14:49.080
into junk in just a few weeks. Well, this wasn't

00:14:49.080 --> 00:14:54.019
exactly blue chip, but it wasn't junk. But now

00:14:54.019 --> 00:14:57.490
it's looking like it's junk. So the first one

00:14:57.490 --> 00:15:00.009
I agree with, all passengers, this is the one

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I agree with, all passengers age of 17 or younger

00:15:03.090 --> 00:15:08.230
have a curfew on public decks at 1 a .m. 17 -year

00:15:08.230 --> 00:15:11.230
-olds should not be public property at 1 a .m.

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The parents have to take them out of their, you

00:15:15.230 --> 00:15:18.289
know, out of that area and put them where they

00:15:18.289 --> 00:15:20.870
need to be for the night. I think 1 a .m. is

00:15:20.870 --> 00:15:25.470
generous for 17 and under on a cruise ship. You

00:15:25.470 --> 00:15:27.289
know, cruise ships are very dangerous. A lot

00:15:27.289 --> 00:15:30.730
of shit happens on them. So, that one I totally

00:15:30.730 --> 00:15:33.070
agree with. You know, maybe the parents need

00:15:33.070 --> 00:15:34.830
to put down the bottle and fucking take care

00:15:34.830 --> 00:15:38.269
of their children at one. And I completely agree

00:15:38.269 --> 00:15:40.710
with it. Enough of the free -range kids. You

00:15:40.710 --> 00:15:43.330
know, the feral children should not be a thing

00:15:43.330 --> 00:15:47.850
on a cruise line ever. So, the cruise line has

00:15:47.850 --> 00:15:50.950
allegedly banned the wobble dance. This is supposed

00:15:50.950 --> 00:15:53.389
to be an ethnic dance of sort, according to many.

00:15:54.190 --> 00:15:56.830
They have also outlawed personal battery -operated

00:15:56.830 --> 00:16:00.350
fans. I'm kind of miffed at this one. People

00:16:00.350 --> 00:16:03.190
don't like to sweat. These neck -operated fans

00:16:03.190 --> 00:16:07.850
help people out, especially heavy sweaters. And

00:16:07.850 --> 00:16:10.750
you know what? I sweat. Do you sweat, Rob? I'm

00:16:10.750 --> 00:16:12.889
a good sweater. I mean, I can put up a pretty

00:16:12.889 --> 00:16:15.090
good sweat. Oh, dude, tell me about it. Yeah.

00:16:15.549 --> 00:16:19.409
Yeah, personal neck fan is fantastic. And you're

00:16:19.409 --> 00:16:22.169
on a cruise. You're on a vacation. It's not like

00:16:22.169 --> 00:16:24.389
you're at work and the fan might be blowing sweat

00:16:24.389 --> 00:16:28.350
at a customer or something. Or, you know, you're

00:16:28.350 --> 00:16:30.889
welding or something and it could do something.

00:16:30.970 --> 00:16:32.950
You know, there's all these other things at work

00:16:32.950 --> 00:16:35.950
you could do. But you're on a cruise. You're

00:16:35.950 --> 00:16:38.909
on a vacation. What the hell do they care if

00:16:38.909 --> 00:16:40.929
you're wearing a personal neck fan to stay cool?

00:16:41.029 --> 00:16:44.899
It's 100 degrees outside. You know, sun beating

00:16:44.899 --> 00:16:46.940
down on you. You want to be out there. You want

00:16:46.940 --> 00:16:48.259
to get a little tan. You want to get a little

00:16:48.259 --> 00:16:51.220
drink on. And God forbid, you want a little bit

00:16:51.220 --> 00:16:54.799
of a breeze blowing at you. That right there

00:16:54.799 --> 00:16:59.960
is dumb. So, and then Carnival has also outlawed

00:16:59.960 --> 00:17:03.039
the boots on the ground line dance. African Americans

00:17:03.039 --> 00:17:06.160
say they feel targeted by this action. The dance

00:17:06.160 --> 00:17:08.359
is considered an urban dance and part of their

00:17:08.359 --> 00:17:11.539
culture. The dance has parts where the participants

00:17:12.170 --> 00:17:14.630
hit the deck with their shoes or boots, and making

00:17:14.630 --> 00:17:18.529
a noise described as clacking. The clacking carnival

00:17:18.529 --> 00:17:21.150
has an issue with. So now black people are pissed

00:17:21.150 --> 00:17:23.849
off, and so are the older white people because

00:17:23.849 --> 00:17:27.789
of the status stealing. I happen to have met

00:17:27.789 --> 00:17:29.750
a good amount of older black people that are

00:17:29.750 --> 00:17:32.210
platinum and diamond as well. A lot of people

00:17:32.210 --> 00:17:34.650
try to say that it's all the older whites, according

00:17:34.650 --> 00:17:37.890
to a lot of these idiots online that like to

00:17:37.890 --> 00:17:42.240
say stuff like that. I actually know, I mean,

00:17:42.259 --> 00:17:44.380
I got to know a lot of older African Americans

00:17:44.380 --> 00:17:49.539
that are diamond status. So it's not some sort

00:17:49.539 --> 00:17:51.640
of a race thing like some people tried to make

00:17:51.640 --> 00:17:55.599
it. So is the carnival dumb bitch in charge a

00:17:55.599 --> 00:17:59.480
secret Royal Caribbean agent? She's on a roll.

00:17:59.960 --> 00:18:02.940
That's for sure. This reminds me of the Bud Light

00:18:02.940 --> 00:18:05.940
fiasco a few years back. You know, she should

00:18:05.940 --> 00:18:08.240
be looking employment soon, just like the aforementioned

00:18:08.240 --> 00:18:12.779
chick. And I just go into this while I'm there.

00:18:13.640 --> 00:18:16.299
Val and I don't give one ounce of shit. Carnival

00:18:16.299 --> 00:18:20.640
just made it easier for us to sever all ties,

00:18:20.900 --> 00:18:23.839
and we did such. We want to do destinations anyhow.

00:18:24.440 --> 00:18:29.839
Cruisers were fun, but we want to get to a resort

00:18:29.839 --> 00:18:33.440
for a week and relax. If we ever do get back

00:18:33.440 --> 00:18:36.460
to cruising, which we may not, it will not be

00:18:36.460 --> 00:18:38.920
with Carnival. I can guarantee you that. Walmart

00:18:38.920 --> 00:18:40.900
of the Seas just turned into Goodwill of the

00:18:40.900 --> 00:18:44.019
Seas. Everyone, enjoy your 25 -cent ripped -up

00:18:44.019 --> 00:18:49.200
Sears Tuffskins. Losers. So, after all that,

00:18:49.400 --> 00:18:52.519
we go into this. We spoke about Jakey Lee attending

00:18:52.519 --> 00:18:55.500
Back to the Beginning, right, Rob? Last podcast?

00:18:55.960 --> 00:18:59.200
Okay. There is now video proof of Jake talking

00:18:59.200 --> 00:19:01.759
to Ozzy and Sharon for a decent amount of time.

00:19:02.440 --> 00:19:05.000
This now has spread to more speculation of a

00:19:05.000 --> 00:19:09.150
possible reunion musically. I would love to see

00:19:09.150 --> 00:19:12.009
this happen, but personally, and you tell me

00:19:12.009 --> 00:19:14.650
what you think, Rob, I'm not overly excited about

00:19:14.650 --> 00:19:17.930
the chances. They haven't spoken over 30 years,

00:19:18.049 --> 00:19:21.470
and there's so much mud flinging from Jake to

00:19:21.470 --> 00:19:24.329
them and them to Jake. I would love nothing more

00:19:24.329 --> 00:19:26.529
than to see this happen, but I would be surprised

00:19:26.529 --> 00:19:33.670
if it does. I mean, 30 years, that's a long time

00:19:33.670 --> 00:19:36.710
not to speak to somebody. And I remember Jake

00:19:36.710 --> 00:19:39.750
saying a lot of stuff. And I'm not saying he

00:19:39.750 --> 00:19:42.670
wasn't right. I'm not saying he was wrong. I'm

00:19:42.670 --> 00:19:45.269
not saying who's right and who's wrong. But he

00:19:45.269 --> 00:19:48.089
said some very direct stuff. He said that they

00:19:48.089 --> 00:19:52.410
robbed him of his musical credits. They actively

00:19:52.410 --> 00:19:56.589
participated in trying to get him to screw him

00:19:56.589 --> 00:19:59.470
out of his royalties. He even said at one point,

00:19:59.490 --> 00:20:03.970
I do believe, about... Remember the famous M

00:20:03.970 --> 00:20:09.150
&M where I forgot who it was. Was it Biggie Smalls

00:20:09.150 --> 00:20:12.289
or somebody like that held M &M outside of a

00:20:12.289 --> 00:20:17.009
building about 30 stories up by his feet and

00:20:17.009 --> 00:20:19.630
told him if he didn't sign that contract that

00:20:19.630 --> 00:20:21.490
he wanted him to sign, he was going to drop him.

00:20:22.139 --> 00:20:25.599
and supposedly Eminem did. I believe, and I don't

00:20:25.599 --> 00:20:27.259
know if any of that's true. It's just been a

00:20:27.259 --> 00:20:29.920
rumor for a long time. I believe Jakey Lee had

00:20:29.920 --> 00:20:32.240
an accusation like that against Ozzy and Sharon,

00:20:32.400 --> 00:20:36.460
that they did some underhanded stuff like that,

00:20:36.500 --> 00:20:39.359
like threaten him or some stuff like that. So

00:20:39.359 --> 00:20:43.420
if this reunion happens, I will be very surprised,

00:20:43.720 --> 00:20:46.859
but I would love to see it happen. But I was

00:20:46.859 --> 00:20:48.819
talking to Davey about this the other day, and

00:20:48.819 --> 00:20:52.420
Rob, tell me how you feel about this, okay? Davey

00:20:52.420 --> 00:20:56.759
mentioned that Jakey Lee, after he left Ozzy,

00:20:56.759 --> 00:20:59.859
went into blues. He doesn't even like that type

00:20:59.859 --> 00:21:02.960
of music anymore, supposedly. So if he got back

00:21:02.960 --> 00:21:06.880
with Ozzy, it wouldn't be the same stuff. And

00:21:06.880 --> 00:21:09.079
I think he's right. I got to thinking about it.

00:21:09.259 --> 00:21:12.440
And I remember him, after Davey brought this

00:21:12.440 --> 00:21:15.400
up, he did not like the Ultimate Sin album at

00:21:15.400 --> 00:21:18.130
all. And that's when he started going more bluesy

00:21:18.130 --> 00:21:20.369
and started, you know, going towards the Badlands

00:21:20.369 --> 00:21:23.730
stuff. So if he got back with Ozzy, you wouldn't

00:21:23.730 --> 00:21:26.210
have the same product, I'm pretty sure. I don't

00:21:26.210 --> 00:21:28.150
think he probably even remembers how to write

00:21:28.150 --> 00:21:30.410
a song like that now. He progressed. He moved

00:21:30.410 --> 00:21:33.849
on. Not saying it's right or wrong, but artists

00:21:33.849 --> 00:21:37.049
do that all the time. It's just like Wasp. They

00:21:37.049 --> 00:21:39.250
progressed so much, Blackie could never write

00:21:39.250 --> 00:21:42.130
another Torture Never Stops album. He could never

00:21:42.130 --> 00:21:46.809
write another Last Command album. because they

00:21:46.809 --> 00:21:50.289
just can't go back that period of time. Do you

00:21:50.289 --> 00:21:52.009
agree with me, Rob? You know what I mean? You

00:21:52.009 --> 00:21:56.190
move on in life and you forget. Yeah, it's virtually

00:21:56.190 --> 00:21:58.250
impossible to do a lot of the stuff you used

00:21:58.250 --> 00:22:01.049
to do because you just don't have the heart in

00:22:01.049 --> 00:22:03.289
it. You don't feel the same way. You don't have

00:22:03.289 --> 00:22:06.509
the same edge that you did. So I'm kind of like

00:22:06.509 --> 00:22:10.130
this. I think Ozzy needs to keep working with

00:22:10.130 --> 00:22:12.470
different artists. He had a really good product

00:22:12.470 --> 00:22:14.990
with Jeff Beck and Eric Clapton and Elton John.

00:22:15.750 --> 00:22:19.309
He had really good product with all of these

00:22:19.309 --> 00:22:22.750
guys. So why not just keep building on that?

00:22:23.259 --> 00:22:25.880
I mean, yeah, I loved it. I'm very curious to

00:22:25.880 --> 00:22:27.900
hear if they could do a good song together, him

00:22:27.900 --> 00:22:30.819
and Jake. But I think even if they did, and I

00:22:30.819 --> 00:22:32.440
think the odds are slim, but even if they did

00:22:32.440 --> 00:22:34.440
get together and do a song, I don't think it

00:22:34.440 --> 00:22:36.339
would be that good anyhow because I think Jakey

00:22:36.339 --> 00:22:40.500
Lee has moved on so much. And, you know, Ozzy,

00:22:40.579 --> 00:22:44.440
he does participate in writing the songs. And,

00:22:44.539 --> 00:22:46.220
you know, he comes up with melodies and stuff

00:22:46.220 --> 00:22:48.519
like that. He doesn't play an instrument per

00:22:48.519 --> 00:22:51.579
se, but his humming and his little tunes that

00:22:51.579 --> 00:22:55.079
he comes up with. Or his writing, he just can't

00:22:55.079 --> 00:22:57.359
play them, right? That's the way a lot of people

00:22:57.359 --> 00:23:00.680
do, you know, writing. Like a guy comes up, I

00:23:00.680 --> 00:23:03.420
don't know, a drummer, and goes, hey, listen

00:23:03.420 --> 00:23:05.900
to this melody, listen to this little rhythm

00:23:05.900 --> 00:23:07.440
I got, and see if you can play it on guitar.

00:23:08.359 --> 00:23:10.259
And then, you know, whoever the guitarist is

00:23:10.259 --> 00:23:11.660
plays it on guitar, and they go, you know what,

00:23:11.720 --> 00:23:13.720
that sounds pretty good. Let's write some lyrics

00:23:13.720 --> 00:23:16.700
on it. That's how a lot of it's done. So Ozzy

00:23:16.700 --> 00:23:18.980
could add that, but I mean, a lot of that magic

00:23:18.980 --> 00:23:23.119
that... that Jakey Lee had, and then there's

00:23:23.119 --> 00:23:25.559
producers like Ron Nevison. I forgot who produced

00:23:25.559 --> 00:23:28.460
Spark at the Moon. But they're probably not the

00:23:28.460 --> 00:23:30.660
same people, even if they would do it nowadays.

00:23:31.220 --> 00:23:34.240
So I'm kind of thinking that, like, even if he

00:23:34.240 --> 00:23:36.859
did do it, it would probably be not as good as

00:23:36.859 --> 00:23:39.420
we would ever think anyhow, or not even close

00:23:39.420 --> 00:23:42.079
to it, in my opinion. Rob, what do you think?

00:23:43.619 --> 00:23:47.519
No, I agree. I agree. He's older. He's changed

00:23:47.519 --> 00:23:54.130
his style. Yeah, I totally agree. Yeah, I mean,

00:23:54.190 --> 00:23:58.349
I just... And plus, he had some newer stuff with

00:23:58.349 --> 00:24:01.650
the Red Dragon Cartel, Jakey Lee did. And it's

00:24:01.650 --> 00:24:07.369
not the same. It's okay. I mean, it's not anything

00:24:07.369 --> 00:24:10.650
that I would sought out to go get or run down

00:24:10.650 --> 00:24:14.089
to the store and buy the physical copy of. Nothing

00:24:14.089 --> 00:24:16.549
like that. As a matter of fact, there's very

00:24:16.549 --> 00:24:20.059
few artists that make me do that anymore. They

00:24:20.059 --> 00:24:23.059
just, I just think that our generation of artists

00:24:23.059 --> 00:24:26.799
or older don't have the same feeling that they

00:24:26.799 --> 00:24:29.339
used to. And I don't think they play the same

00:24:29.339 --> 00:24:33.039
or write a song the same. And if they do, I think

00:24:33.039 --> 00:24:35.660
that it's their style of writing now as opposed

00:24:35.660 --> 00:24:38.140
to what it was back then. But most of them don't

00:24:38.140 --> 00:24:40.920
even make new music anymore. Let's face it. Most

00:24:40.920 --> 00:24:42.579
of them just tour because that's where the money

00:24:42.579 --> 00:24:44.700
is anymore. The money is not in physical copies.

00:24:44.900 --> 00:24:47.539
Nobody buys them. Everybody buys the online.

00:24:47.579 --> 00:24:50.309
They buy the downloads. And most people steal

00:24:50.309 --> 00:24:54.289
them anyhow. Anyhow, that's all I got for that.

00:24:54.450 --> 00:24:56.329
So, Rob, you got some stuff you want to go into?

00:24:57.750 --> 00:25:04.190
Yeah, I do. All right. First off, I want everybody

00:25:04.190 --> 00:25:07.450
to keep in your thoughts and prayers the flood

00:25:07.450 --> 00:25:11.990
victims and families in Texas. Yes. It was a

00:25:11.990 --> 00:25:14.910
major ordeal. Andy Reid is paying for all their

00:25:14.910 --> 00:25:18.670
funerals. Did you see that? Yes, I seen that.

00:25:19.019 --> 00:25:23.019
Yeah, what a good guy. You know, he had a child

00:25:23.019 --> 00:25:29.180
die. I'm sure he felt their pain. Right. And

00:25:29.180 --> 00:25:34.200
I have an announcement. Okay. On top of that,

00:25:34.359 --> 00:25:42.559
there's going to be a meet and greet if anybody

00:25:42.559 --> 00:25:48.650
is interested. Me and the Duke. Yes, my brother

00:25:48.650 --> 00:25:51.369
the Duke included. Awesome. He'll be at Frank

00:25:51.369 --> 00:25:55.410
N. Louie's on July the 19th between 1 and 2 p

00:25:55.410 --> 00:25:59.950
.m. Rob will be wearing his loincloth. No. I

00:25:59.950 --> 00:26:03.769
was told no loincloth. Oh, okay. Sorry. They

00:26:03.769 --> 00:26:05.970
will not allow me in the building with no loincloth.

00:26:06.349 --> 00:26:08.950
I tried, guys. I tried. I've already been told.

00:26:09.829 --> 00:26:15.789
Okay. I love it. I've already asked. No, yeah.

00:26:17.480 --> 00:26:20.539
The dude called me yesterday and wanted to know

00:26:20.539 --> 00:26:24.039
if I wanted to get together with him and another

00:26:24.039 --> 00:26:26.839
friend of his and anybody else I want to bring.

00:26:27.079 --> 00:26:29.240
I said, well, can we just have a meet and greet?

00:26:29.359 --> 00:26:35.240
He said, yeah, why not? So July 19th, we'll be

00:26:35.240 --> 00:26:39.900
there between 1 and 2 p .m. at Frankie and Louie's,

00:26:40.039 --> 00:26:45.579
Lake of the Ozarks. Cool. Just looking for the

00:26:45.579 --> 00:26:50.099
douchebag mobile. And the guy not in a loincloth.

00:26:51.380 --> 00:26:54.859
Yes. I tried, guys. I tried to get you your loincloth,

00:26:55.000 --> 00:26:58.319
but no. Dude, yeah, that was my first question

00:26:58.319 --> 00:27:02.680
to him. I said no. Damn it. Damn it. All right.

00:27:03.079 --> 00:27:07.079
You got more, don't you? Okay. Yeah, I have something

00:27:07.079 --> 00:27:10.619
else here. Okay. Okay, you know how we covered

00:27:10.619 --> 00:27:15.099
the Jack Black video? Yes. Man, that is good.

00:27:16.559 --> 00:27:19.779
Dude, it's awesome. And I found out why it's

00:27:19.779 --> 00:27:24.359
so awesome. And you hit it halfway on the head.

00:27:25.960 --> 00:27:32.140
I found out who these kids were. Okay. Okay.

00:27:33.619 --> 00:27:40.579
The Yoyoka Soma on the drums and Hugo Weiss,

00:27:40.599 --> 00:27:45.039
who was on the keyboard. You hit it on the head.

00:27:45.500 --> 00:27:48.440
They were from the movie School of Rock. Oh,

00:27:48.440 --> 00:27:51.460
wow. I just assumed that because that's in the...

00:27:51.460 --> 00:27:54.339
And they're 15 years old. Oh, wow. Very cool.

00:27:55.940 --> 00:28:00.119
Okay, the next two you need to think about because

00:28:00.119 --> 00:28:02.680
I did not think about it when I ripped the names

00:28:02.680 --> 00:28:05.779
off. But now that I see it in front of me, yeah.

00:28:07.220 --> 00:28:12.259
Okay, the 14 -year -old lead guitarist, Roman

00:28:12.259 --> 00:28:19.150
Morello. Tom Morello said? Yes. Oh, ho. Rage

00:28:19.150 --> 00:28:22.509
Against the Machine and Audio Slaves, son. I

00:28:22.509 --> 00:28:24.730
love Tom Morello. He's the guy that sent the

00:28:24.730 --> 00:28:30.849
invitation to Jakey Lee. Right. Yeah. And now

00:28:30.849 --> 00:28:37.750
the one that slayed it on bass, Rebel Ian. Scott

00:28:37.750 --> 00:28:45.200
Ian? Yes, Scott Ian's 13 -year -old son. Nice.

00:28:45.200 --> 00:28:49.019
Nice. Yeah. That's who them kids were. I did

00:28:49.019 --> 00:28:52.019
not think about it when I read off the names.

00:28:52.900 --> 00:28:55.440
Very cool. Yeah, I was like, because you said

00:28:55.440 --> 00:28:58.700
some of us go right. And I got to look at who

00:28:58.700 --> 00:29:01.339
these kids were. I'm glad you did. And you were

00:29:01.339 --> 00:29:04.579
happily right. Yeah. The drummer and the... He

00:29:04.579 --> 00:29:07.579
was from School of Rock. Well, to me, it just

00:29:07.579 --> 00:29:10.000
made sense because he did the School of Rock,

00:29:10.160 --> 00:29:12.460
and that's what they were basically doing with

00:29:12.460 --> 00:29:15.480
School of Rock stuff. So I get it. Very cool.

00:29:15.519 --> 00:29:19.980
Even a better gimmick. I mean, that's cool. And

00:29:19.980 --> 00:29:23.099
Jack Black, he's so real. Yeah, I got to give

00:29:23.099 --> 00:29:26.819
kudos to Jack Black for sounding so much like

00:29:26.819 --> 00:29:31.920
Ozzy. I know. He does Dio really well, too. Yeah,

00:29:31.960 --> 00:29:35.640
he does. He's awesome. He could go tour him with

00:29:35.640 --> 00:29:38.779
a guitarist in a band. And actually, doesn't

00:29:38.779 --> 00:29:41.359
he? No, maybe he doesn't. I thought he might

00:29:41.359 --> 00:29:44.359
play a little guitar. Well, anyhow, if he does

00:29:44.359 --> 00:29:46.339
or not, it doesn't matter. I'm sure he would

00:29:46.339 --> 00:29:49.019
want to probably sing. But he could do a tribute

00:29:49.019 --> 00:29:52.359
band. I mean, he sounds so much like Ozzy and

00:29:52.359 --> 00:29:54.220
he sounds so much like Dio. And then they could

00:29:54.220 --> 00:29:57.380
have the goat boy. What's his name? Brian Johnson.

00:30:00.720 --> 00:30:06.400
I say do a school rock tour. Yeah. And invite

00:30:06.400 --> 00:30:10.000
all these celebrities' kids. I love that, Rob.

00:30:10.299 --> 00:30:13.539
He can make a ton of money doing that. He could.

00:30:13.599 --> 00:30:17.960
I would go to that, would you? Yeah. That would

00:30:17.960 --> 00:30:20.579
be fun. That would be fun to see Tom Morello's

00:30:20.579 --> 00:30:24.160
son, Scott Ian's son, maybe Zach Wilde has a

00:30:24.160 --> 00:30:27.539
son. I don't know. Let's see what our kids can

00:30:27.539 --> 00:30:30.700
do. Yeah. and put him with a front man like Jack

00:30:30.700 --> 00:30:34.880
Black, why not? He'd be perfect. He is perfect.

00:30:35.059 --> 00:30:37.319
I love him. And the thing is, is he's so real.

00:30:37.420 --> 00:30:40.799
He loves his music, and he shows it. I mean,

00:30:40.799 --> 00:30:43.759
he fucking eats and sweats it. He loves his music

00:30:43.759 --> 00:30:46.299
so much. He loves his music. He loves his comedy.

00:30:46.319 --> 00:30:50.980
He loves life. Yeah, yeah. You know? Excellent

00:30:50.980 --> 00:30:53.859
dude. I've always liked him. Always liked him.

00:30:55.319 --> 00:30:57.890
Excellent. I mean, you know, and he is part of

00:30:57.890 --> 00:31:00.390
Tenacious D. I think he does play some guitar.

00:31:00.990 --> 00:31:04.589
We will be right back. I think he did on Tenacious

00:31:04.589 --> 00:31:09.190
D, actually. The regular Joe Cube public may

00:31:09.190 --> 00:31:11.809
believe anything he hears and sees, but not here

00:31:11.809 --> 00:31:14.690
at Two Douchebags Microphone. Here at Two Douchebags

00:31:14.690 --> 00:31:17.210
Microphone, we question everything. That's why

00:31:17.210 --> 00:31:19.190
we have a little segment we'd like to call I

00:31:19.190 --> 00:31:22.730
Call Bullshit. Bullshit. Bullshit. Bullshit.

00:31:24.720 --> 00:31:27.039
So let me make sure I have this correct. All

00:31:27.039 --> 00:31:29.440
the waiting for Epstein client list. All the

00:31:29.440 --> 00:31:32.119
promises of justice. All the huge names that

00:31:32.119 --> 00:31:34.680
were all over his private island. Suddenly, there's

00:31:34.680 --> 00:31:36.980
no client list. It's a well -known fact that

00:31:36.980 --> 00:31:40.220
Epstein kept a list of clients. So Ghislaine

00:31:40.220 --> 00:31:42.440
Maxwell is rotting in prison and has no memory

00:31:42.440 --> 00:31:44.839
of any of her visitors when she was one of the

00:31:44.839 --> 00:31:47.299
hosts? You mean to tell me she cannot spit out

00:31:47.299 --> 00:31:50.099
a few names? They barter with every other criminal.

00:31:50.200 --> 00:31:54.059
Why not her? I'll tell you why. Because power

00:31:54.059 --> 00:31:57.400
protects power. That's why. This bullshit dog

00:31:57.400 --> 00:32:00.920
and pony show will only go so far. Promises and

00:32:00.920 --> 00:32:03.660
convictions turn to dust. I'll even go one step

00:32:03.660 --> 00:32:07.240
further. Jeffrey Epstein is still alive. His

00:32:07.240 --> 00:32:09.940
death was faked. His friends made sure of this.

00:32:10.480 --> 00:32:12.640
The next time you think justice will be served

00:32:12.640 --> 00:32:15.140
will be a cold day in hell. Or just wait until

00:32:15.140 --> 00:32:17.779
his perverts do kick off. Then ask them the temperature

00:32:17.779 --> 00:32:21.069
in hell. Two douchebags, a microphone, and an

00:32:21.069 --> 00:32:24.509
effort to keep everything fresh. We offer you

00:32:24.509 --> 00:32:31.170
first world problems. What the hell? Bridge construction?

00:32:32.390 --> 00:32:35.130
Shit. I cannot believe I have to repair this

00:32:35.130 --> 00:32:38.130
bridge after 50 years. Man, what am I going to

00:32:38.130 --> 00:32:40.789
do now? I can't wake up 10 minutes earlier just

00:32:40.789 --> 00:32:43.970
to get to work. This is complete bullshit. I'm

00:32:43.970 --> 00:33:26.059
going to write my congressman. Introducing Rob

00:33:26.059 --> 00:33:29.039
Rad's new book, How to Track Your Enemy by Scent.

00:33:29.359 --> 00:33:31.980
That's right, smell your enemy before they get

00:33:31.980 --> 00:33:34.519
you. Order this gem now and get a free virtual

00:33:34.519 --> 00:33:37.079
tour of Rob's secret bunker in Camderton, Missouri.

00:33:37.480 --> 00:33:40.299
Also receive a free copy of his new book, How

00:33:40.299 --> 00:33:46.599
to Clean Raw Sewage for Food. Two douchebags

00:33:46.599 --> 00:33:50.180
and a microphone, says. You ever dream about

00:33:50.180 --> 00:33:52.559
eating chocolate pudding and wake up with a spoon

00:33:52.559 --> 00:33:57.940
in your ass? Just asking. And now, Deep Thoughts

00:33:57.940 --> 00:34:05.420
with Mark. Hmm, let's see. If I identify as a

00:34:05.420 --> 00:34:07.779
dog, and I start wandering around the block without

00:34:07.779 --> 00:34:10.360
a collar on, could Animal Control come by and

00:34:10.360 --> 00:34:19.579
pick me up? Hmm. I may never know. Hey there,

00:34:19.619 --> 00:34:22.320
fuckstick. You're just in time for brand new

00:34:22.320 --> 00:34:25.739
feature news nobody gives a shit about. A pet

00:34:25.739 --> 00:34:28.480
turtle named Sashi is thought to be the oldest

00:34:28.480 --> 00:34:36.480
one in captivity at 120 years old. This is Joshua

00:34:36.480 --> 00:34:38.760
Belmont, your food for thought man on The Hustle.

00:34:39.239 --> 00:34:41.599
So I just realized a genius that gets absolutely

00:34:41.599 --> 00:34:45.039
no credit. His name is Marshall Taylor. He is

00:34:45.039 --> 00:34:47.119
credited with the first bag of salad mix that

00:34:47.119 --> 00:34:50.289
was bagged and sold. Yesterday. was his birthday.

00:34:51.190 --> 00:34:54.210
I believe he is still alive. This guy's genius

00:34:54.210 --> 00:34:56.969
will never be fully appreciated. Before this

00:34:56.969 --> 00:34:59.449
man, we settled for iceberg lettuce with maybe

00:34:59.449 --> 00:35:02.409
a couple of croutons and some cheese. Was Mr.

00:35:02.570 --> 00:35:05.869
Taylor satisfied with that? Hell no. He realized

00:35:05.869 --> 00:35:07.989
that Billy Americana would never go out and buy

00:35:07.989 --> 00:35:10.329
a couple of radishes, a couple of carrots, a

00:35:10.329 --> 00:35:12.690
head of purple cabbage, maybe snow peas, and

00:35:12.690 --> 00:35:14.969
possibly some cute romaine lettuce for extra

00:35:14.969 --> 00:35:18.590
bougie. Mr. Taylor, you should have a national

00:35:18.590 --> 00:35:35.829
holiday. Two douchebags and a microphone. I'm

00:35:35.829 --> 00:35:38.789
Mark here in Kansas City at the Talk is Cheap

00:35:38.789 --> 00:35:43.349
studio. And I am Rob at the beautiful Naival

00:35:43.349 --> 00:35:54.960
Arms. There we go. First email. Mark, you're

00:35:54.960 --> 00:35:56.940
a loud mouth that likes to hear himself talk.

00:35:57.300 --> 00:36:06.000
Wayne and Liberty. Okay. Good thing other people

00:36:06.000 --> 00:36:08.739
like... Once again, why are you still listening?

00:36:09.460 --> 00:36:13.239
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I mean, you know, good thing

00:36:13.239 --> 00:36:15.199
other people like to hear me talk. Okay, maybe

00:36:15.199 --> 00:36:19.400
listening for me, but I'm only... Half the show.

00:36:22.420 --> 00:36:24.659
Yeah, they got to go through me just to hear

00:36:24.659 --> 00:36:27.300
you, so I don't think that would be very enjoyable.

00:36:27.780 --> 00:36:30.800
It would not be worth it. Yeah, yeah. So, I mean,

00:36:30.840 --> 00:36:36.739
you know, you know, hate away, keep downloading

00:36:36.739 --> 00:36:39.219
and critiquing. I'm really getting a lot of help

00:36:39.219 --> 00:36:42.840
out of this, Wayne and Liberty. Thank you so

00:36:42.840 --> 00:36:49.190
much, dickhead. All right, Rob. We should start

00:36:49.190 --> 00:36:51.809
our own podcast. We can call it the Cass County

00:36:51.809 --> 00:36:55.670
Alumni Variety Hour with Mitch and Rob. I have

00:36:55.670 --> 00:36:58.469
the first interview set up with Fuckhammer, your

00:36:58.469 --> 00:37:00.769
old buddy and bestie Mitch from South Central

00:37:00.769 --> 00:37:06.070
Cass County and surrounding rural areas. Rob,

00:37:06.190 --> 00:37:07.949
are you going to split off and do another podcast

00:37:07.949 --> 00:37:15.570
too? Well, you and Topher did. Okay, there you

00:37:15.570 --> 00:37:17.780
go. All right, Mitch, you got yourself a deal

00:37:17.780 --> 00:37:22.559
there. I'll have to get with Mitch to let him

00:37:22.559 --> 00:37:25.300
know what nights I'm available. There you go,

00:37:25.340 --> 00:37:29.179
Mitch. We'll even put it on this platform. How's

00:37:29.179 --> 00:37:31.699
that? Is that not great? Is that not good? Yeah,

00:37:31.699 --> 00:37:36.380
yeah, yeah. You will officially. I will have

00:37:36.380 --> 00:37:40.800
to throw it through this one, and I will throw

00:37:40.800 --> 00:37:43.079
this one through that one, you know. Yeah, yeah,

00:37:43.119 --> 00:37:46.099
like Topher and I throw that one through this

00:37:46.099 --> 00:37:49.579
one. So there you go. Yeah, and one day I will

00:37:49.579 --> 00:37:51.820
have that GoDaddy website up. I don't know when,

00:37:51.920 --> 00:37:58.860
but one day. So maybe 10 years from now. Okay,

00:37:59.000 --> 00:38:04.559
now I asked Ronnie in Tulsa if he's Mitch because

00:38:04.559 --> 00:38:08.230
of the related... These two emails that we got

00:38:08.230 --> 00:38:10.809
are highly related to each other, and I thought,

00:38:10.829 --> 00:38:13.150
what a coincidence. Well, evidently it's a coincidence

00:38:13.150 --> 00:38:15.489
because I asked Ronnie straight up about this

00:38:15.489 --> 00:38:18.449
because they were like right next to each other

00:38:18.449 --> 00:38:21.389
when I printed them out, and you'll see what

00:38:21.389 --> 00:38:24.070
I mean. Hey, guys, I'm going to be starting a

00:38:24.070 --> 00:38:26.690
podcast of my own. I really feel inspired by

00:38:26.690 --> 00:38:29.250
you all. I'm open for suggestions if you have

00:38:29.250 --> 00:38:31.590
any. Thank you, my friends, Ronnie and Tulsa,

00:38:31.590 --> 00:38:34.380
the Tulsa King. I thought it was a hell of a

00:38:34.380 --> 00:38:36.960
coincidence that Mitch is starting a podcast

00:38:36.960 --> 00:38:40.679
with you, and then Ronnie is wanting to start

00:38:40.679 --> 00:38:44.760
a podcast. I asked him straight up. I said, it's

00:38:44.760 --> 00:38:47.139
cool if you're Mitch. You're doing really good

00:38:47.139 --> 00:38:49.679
giving us all this material and stuff. He said

00:38:49.679 --> 00:38:53.840
he is not Mitch, and it's a coincidence. Wow.

00:38:54.800 --> 00:38:57.119
I know. That's what I thought, too. So I believe

00:38:57.119 --> 00:39:00.219
him. I think if he was really... Well, Tulsa

00:39:00.219 --> 00:39:03.639
King, either way, I will listen to your podcast.

00:39:03.739 --> 00:39:07.679
I will, too. I will, too. And my suggestion is,

00:39:07.679 --> 00:39:10.739
is whatever your passion is, do that. Do that.

00:39:11.320 --> 00:39:14.000
Because Rob and I's passion is like the old form

00:39:14.000 --> 00:39:16.659
of radio, the old morning show, the old, you

00:39:16.659 --> 00:39:19.639
know, ha -ha and make fun of stuff and be dicks

00:39:19.639 --> 00:39:22.820
and dick jokes and fart jokes. That's what Rob

00:39:22.820 --> 00:39:25.900
and I like to do. Topher and I like to do sports

00:39:25.900 --> 00:39:31.360
and music. So I say go with your passion. What

00:39:31.360 --> 00:39:34.139
you feel the strongest about is what you're going

00:39:34.139 --> 00:39:35.559
to talk about and what you're going to have more

00:39:35.559 --> 00:39:41.739
knowledge about. Rob, you got anything? No, I

00:39:41.739 --> 00:39:49.039
totally agree with you. And just from what I've

00:39:49.039 --> 00:39:52.719
gathered off Tulsa King, I got a feeling he would

00:39:52.719 --> 00:39:57.630
be, A lot like us. I think so, too. He probably

00:39:57.630 --> 00:40:00.750
wants to stay away from the politics and religion.

00:40:00.949 --> 00:40:05.469
Well, he is very political. Maybe some real life

00:40:05.469 --> 00:40:08.750
aspects like we do. He's very political, but

00:40:08.750 --> 00:40:11.150
he doesn't bring it on here. I know a lot of

00:40:11.150 --> 00:40:14.409
his views. He's told me. Well, he, well, he,

00:40:14.510 --> 00:40:17.730
yeah, see, I don't know that part of him. Well.

00:40:18.469 --> 00:40:25.019
But if we do get a political show going. I know

00:40:25.019 --> 00:40:27.619
who one of our guests will be. That's so funny

00:40:27.619 --> 00:40:29.199
you said that, because I already gave him an

00:40:29.199 --> 00:40:30.940
invite. I said, when we do, you need to come

00:40:30.940 --> 00:40:34.500
on. He said he would. So I just got to get the

00:40:34.500 --> 00:40:38.119
Bluetooth thing figured out, and I will. Man,

00:40:39.199 --> 00:40:40.900
I think it would be awesome if you had a podcast.

00:40:41.239 --> 00:40:43.099
As a matter of fact, I would even make you an

00:40:43.099 --> 00:40:46.780
RSS website if you wanted, and you could just

00:40:46.780 --> 00:40:48.980
put whatever name you wanted there and have your

00:40:48.980 --> 00:40:53.880
own instead of piggybacking off of us. Not that

00:40:53.880 --> 00:40:55.960
I wouldn't mind you piggybacking off of us. I

00:40:55.960 --> 00:40:59.860
would be honored. Honestly, I imagine, I would

00:40:59.860 --> 00:41:02.679
guess that's what he wouldn't want to do. Yeah.

00:41:02.719 --> 00:41:04.679
He wouldn't want to do his own. You get your

00:41:04.679 --> 00:41:06.539
own recognition. He seems to be that kind of

00:41:06.539 --> 00:41:10.500
guy. Yes. You know? Yeah, you're right. And so

00:41:10.500 --> 00:41:13.059
I would even set you up with that, or I would

00:41:13.059 --> 00:41:16.719
definitely tell you how to do it. I already showed

00:41:16.719 --> 00:41:24.500
him the... I'm sorry, the Audiotonic slash Audacity

00:41:24.500 --> 00:41:27.119
software that I use and how to use it generally.

00:41:28.019 --> 00:41:32.440
He'll catch on. He's a pretty intelligent guy

00:41:32.440 --> 00:41:35.820
from what I can gather. So I sent him all that

00:41:35.820 --> 00:41:38.980
information in an email. So he's going to be

00:41:38.980 --> 00:41:47.440
well on his way. So, yeah. I see it. Right there's

00:41:47.440 --> 00:41:50.840
the difference. Come on, man. My buddy Mitch,

00:41:51.099 --> 00:41:53.480
he's going to have to piggyback off of us because

00:41:53.480 --> 00:41:55.500
he ain't that smart. He won't be able to figure

00:41:55.500 --> 00:41:59.420
it out. Oh, no. Mitch? Did you hear that? Sorry,

00:41:59.619 --> 00:42:03.559
Mitch, but I don't even know what to do yet.

00:42:03.599 --> 00:42:08.000
We would need Mark. Yep. Rob, you'd figure it

00:42:08.000 --> 00:42:10.139
out in about 20 minutes. You better start kissing

00:42:10.139 --> 00:42:13.159
Mark's ass, Mitch. Yep. Yeah, you better start

00:42:13.159 --> 00:42:18.679
being nice to me. I could show Rob really quickly.

00:42:19.239 --> 00:42:21.440
To help you, but I won't. Because you hate me.

00:42:23.159 --> 00:42:26.539
So, all right. All right, next. Let's see what

00:42:26.539 --> 00:42:29.199
kind of email that brings. Yeah, I can't wait.

00:42:30.219 --> 00:42:32.059
He's probably already got it written up now,

00:42:32.119 --> 00:42:34.019
knowing him. He probably already sent it off.

00:42:34.039 --> 00:42:37.360
I'll get off here and go, what the hell? All

00:42:37.360 --> 00:42:39.460
right. You're going to have your back. I told

00:42:39.460 --> 00:42:42.179
you, I'm here for you. Yeah, there you go, Mitch.

00:42:42.500 --> 00:42:45.139
And you go back a lot longer than me and Mitch.

00:42:45.340 --> 00:42:48.980
That's right. Yep. What up, Mitch? I'm here for

00:42:48.980 --> 00:42:51.519
you too, buddy. But not as much as me, Mitch,

00:42:51.639 --> 00:42:55.880
so don't get crazy. All right. Yeah, I used to

00:42:55.880 --> 00:43:00.639
eat Mark's Mama's Cook. That's right. Oh, no,

00:43:00.719 --> 00:43:03.960
there is no comparison. Yeah, the non -existent

00:43:03.960 --> 00:43:08.659
Greek spaghetti, right? No, remember that chick,

00:43:08.820 --> 00:43:11.719
whoever she was, wrote in? I crave it all the

00:43:11.719 --> 00:43:15.280
time. I wish I could recreate it, dude. I really,

00:43:15.340 --> 00:43:23.269
really wish I could, but... Well, her pinch and

00:43:23.269 --> 00:43:27.949
a dash, like so many, especially older Mediterranean's,

00:43:27.969 --> 00:43:31.250
they're all like that. You know, you go over

00:43:31.250 --> 00:43:33.949
to Greece or Italy or something like that, Spain,

00:43:34.230 --> 00:43:37.469
their pinch and a dash is an actual measurement

00:43:37.469 --> 00:43:40.739
and they all know what it is. They can't... like

00:43:40.739 --> 00:43:43.920
show you but they can do it they go oh you need

00:43:43.920 --> 00:43:46.179
a pinch what well you made a pinch oh this is

00:43:46.179 --> 00:43:48.820
a pinch how do you do that i don't know it's

00:43:48.820 --> 00:43:52.460
just a pinch you know that kind of stuff so my

00:43:52.460 --> 00:43:55.920
mom can't do it herself yeah she's telling me

00:43:55.920 --> 00:43:58.340
a pinch in the dash well any communities like

00:43:58.340 --> 00:44:01.320
that yeah i guess so it's probably not just over

00:44:01.320 --> 00:44:04.179
there so yeah any communities that way they have

00:44:04.179 --> 00:44:07.059
their own measurements So, you know, unfortunately,

00:44:07.719 --> 00:44:11.139
that is lost. I've spoken to my relatives. They

00:44:11.139 --> 00:44:13.920
don't know that much about it. So, you know,

00:44:13.980 --> 00:44:18.000
just it's gone. So try to remember it the best

00:44:18.000 --> 00:44:22.300
you can, Rob. I mean, Mom can tell me a pinch

00:44:22.300 --> 00:44:24.400
and a dash, but she can't do it herself. You

00:44:24.400 --> 00:44:28.019
know, she can't stand up for that long. So, oh,

00:44:28.059 --> 00:44:32.119
well, all right. Next one. I download every show

00:44:32.119 --> 00:44:35.449
here in Albuquerque. I never hear any love from

00:44:35.449 --> 00:44:41.929
your podcast, Jeff, in New Mexico. Okay, I'll

00:44:41.929 --> 00:44:45.130
jump on the bandwagon. Okay, hang on, let me

00:44:45.130 --> 00:44:47.489
look here. Back in the early 90s, I spent some

00:44:47.489 --> 00:44:51.869
time in Albuquerque. I love Albuquerque. My cousin

00:44:51.869 --> 00:44:56.730
teaches at the university there in Albuquerque.

00:44:57.110 --> 00:45:01.349
Yeah, I'll start giving Albuquerque some love.

00:45:01.760 --> 00:45:04.480
And I will, too. I love the airport. I love it

00:45:04.480 --> 00:45:06.599
down there. The airport is great. I woke up one

00:45:06.599 --> 00:45:10.559
morning. We drove from Kansas City all the way

00:45:10.559 --> 00:45:14.079
to Albuquerque one night. It was like a 12, 13

00:45:14.079 --> 00:45:19.639
-hour drive. And we get down there, and I just

00:45:19.639 --> 00:45:23.539
sleep in the van. Everybody else went to Grandma's

00:45:23.539 --> 00:45:27.079
house, which is my ex -wife's grandma's. And

00:45:27.079 --> 00:45:31.320
I just crashed in the van. Oh, cool. i woke up

00:45:31.320 --> 00:45:35.519
the next morning and i look out i get out of

00:45:35.519 --> 00:45:38.420
the van i look up and there are air balloons

00:45:38.420 --> 00:45:42.360
everywhere yes we witnessed that yes the air

00:45:42.360 --> 00:45:45.780
balloon festival yeah i wake up get out of the

00:45:45.780 --> 00:45:49.260
van look up there's 30 air balloons above me

00:45:49.260 --> 00:45:51.900
i'm like oh my god what the is this they have

00:45:51.900 --> 00:45:54.699
festivals they gotta explain to me what it was

00:45:55.369 --> 00:45:57.369
They have festivals all the time. They have the

00:45:57.369 --> 00:45:59.670
biggest air balloon festival. Val and I went

00:45:59.670 --> 00:46:03.849
to Pocosa Springs, Colorado, and it's in the

00:46:03.849 --> 00:46:07.389
southern edge of Colorado. So we flew into Albuquerque,

00:46:07.389 --> 00:46:09.929
got a rental, and drove up to Pocosa Springs.

00:46:10.150 --> 00:46:12.510
All the way there was hot air balloons. And where

00:46:12.510 --> 00:46:15.869
we had our condo at, at Pocosa Springs, hot air

00:46:15.869 --> 00:46:21.650
balloons landed just maybe, oh, not even a quarter

00:46:21.650 --> 00:46:23.909
mile away. There was a big field. It was cool.

00:46:24.719 --> 00:46:27.860
Yeah. Yeah. And also, I love it. If you ever

00:46:27.860 --> 00:46:30.400
get a chance, go up in the mountain ranges around

00:46:30.400 --> 00:46:33.139
there, too. Yeah, yeah, the San Juan Mountains.

00:46:33.380 --> 00:46:36.780
The Sandias and the Jemez, yeah. Yeah, the San

00:46:36.780 --> 00:46:40.380
Juans are gorgeous. Oh, I know. And it's very

00:46:40.380 --> 00:46:44.019
unique, like Colorado. Their rivers are shallow

00:46:44.019 --> 00:46:47.300
and wide, and they don't have a lot of water

00:46:47.300 --> 00:46:49.840
in them unless they have runoff from snow in

00:46:49.840 --> 00:46:53.440
the mountains. Pretty interesting little thing

00:46:53.440 --> 00:46:55.199
they have there. Okay, what was his name, Jeffrey?

00:46:56.019 --> 00:47:00.059
Jeff, yeah, yeah, yeah, Jeff in New Mexico. Jeff,

00:47:00.059 --> 00:47:03.320
Jeff, thank you. We will start giving Albuquerque

00:47:03.320 --> 00:47:05.219
some more love. Yeah, because we do have quite

00:47:05.219 --> 00:47:07.699
a few downloads. I don't think it's just Jeff

00:47:07.699 --> 00:47:09.300
there listening. There's quite a few downloads

00:47:09.300 --> 00:47:11.880
there. So thank you, Jeff. Yeah, I've got a couple

00:47:11.880 --> 00:47:16.019
stories about when I went down there. Jeff, write

00:47:16.019 --> 00:47:21.110
us back, Jeff. We love Albuquerque. I do. I do,

00:47:21.550 --> 00:47:24.469
too. I'm thinking about making another trip.

00:47:25.449 --> 00:47:28.969
There's a hell of it. Their airport is so easy

00:47:28.969 --> 00:47:31.090
to get in and out of. I just love that thing.

00:47:31.090 --> 00:47:34.789
I drive it. 20 minutes. 20 minutes at the most

00:47:34.789 --> 00:47:37.469
getting in there and out there through TSA is

00:47:37.469 --> 00:47:41.210
amazing. And it's a beautiful airport. I just

00:47:41.210 --> 00:47:48.320
shoot across 44 to 35 that turnpike. Yeah. All

00:47:48.320 --> 00:47:52.059
the way to Texas, cut over to Albuquerque. Yeah,

00:47:52.099 --> 00:47:57.039
yep. Their airport has an aviation museum inside

00:47:57.039 --> 00:48:00.159
it, and they have these planes. You know I don't

00:48:00.159 --> 00:48:05.940
fly. Oh, okay. I'm a duck with clipped wings.

00:48:07.880 --> 00:48:10.119
No, they have these planes hanging up from the

00:48:10.119 --> 00:48:15.059
ceiling. It's cool. So, anyhow. Well, are you

00:48:15.059 --> 00:48:16.940
ever going to fly, Rob, or do you have any plans

00:48:16.940 --> 00:48:23.099
on it or not? No. Okay. I really don't have any

00:48:23.099 --> 00:48:27.840
plans on it. If I could drive there, I'll go.

00:48:28.880 --> 00:48:31.280
Well, it's like 12 hours, something like that,

00:48:31.340 --> 00:48:34.480
10 hours. Yeah, yeah, and I would rather drive

00:48:34.480 --> 00:48:38.739
it. Take my time, drive it, see the sights. Yeah.

00:48:38.800 --> 00:48:41.769
Which I'll probably drive at night. You know,

00:48:41.789 --> 00:48:44.230
you can make better time. A lot of that Texas

00:48:44.230 --> 00:48:46.670
country out there all the way through to New

00:48:46.670 --> 00:48:49.250
Mexico is a very interesting country. You don't

00:48:49.250 --> 00:48:52.630
get countryside like that everywhere. It is a

00:48:52.630 --> 00:48:54.849
really good drive. I've driven out that way before.

00:48:55.289 --> 00:48:57.969
It's a unique country. Even the boot hill of

00:48:57.969 --> 00:49:02.170
Oklahoma is like that, too. Yes, yes. Yeah, very

00:49:02.170 --> 00:49:04.869
unique. Oh, I love the sand dunes over there.

00:49:04.929 --> 00:49:08.090
Oh, the sand dunes, yeah. Where you take the

00:49:08.090 --> 00:49:11.389
rail buggies and four -wheelers, yeah. Yep, unless

00:49:11.389 --> 00:49:15.369
you get... Did you remember this back in the

00:49:15.369 --> 00:49:17.650
80s when people started first discovering the

00:49:17.650 --> 00:49:23.829
sand dunes and running their little buggies in

00:49:23.829 --> 00:49:27.610
them? What do they call them? Oh, sure. Dune

00:49:27.610 --> 00:49:30.510
buggies. Yeah, okay. Dune buggies. Dune buggies,

00:49:30.530 --> 00:49:32.889
pretty much. Yeah, they are dune buggies, actually.

00:49:32.929 --> 00:49:36.670
You're right. So a lot of them would jump these

00:49:36.670 --> 00:49:39.110
hills and there would be open strip pits on the

00:49:39.110 --> 00:49:42.469
other side. You'd never see him again. It happened

00:49:42.469 --> 00:49:47.730
all the time. So, anyhow. All right, next. Hey,

00:49:47.769 --> 00:49:50.690
Mark, did you see where Carnival crew shot themselves

00:49:50.690 --> 00:49:54.829
in the foot again? Peggy in Indianapolis. Yeah,

00:49:54.949 --> 00:49:58.210
spoke a lot about that at first. I don't care.

00:49:58.710 --> 00:50:02.789
Let them go under. I cannot stand them now, the

00:50:02.789 --> 00:50:05.670
way they did me and all these other people. And

00:50:05.670 --> 00:50:08.570
they're, in my opinion, they're lying ass excuses.

00:50:09.130 --> 00:50:11.489
Say, oh, there's too many people, platinum and

00:50:11.489 --> 00:50:14.309
diamond. It's just nothing, you know, it can't

00:50:14.309 --> 00:50:16.510
accommodate everybody. Then why do you sell those

00:50:16.510 --> 00:50:18.610
privileges to people that don't have them, like

00:50:18.610 --> 00:50:20.949
faster to the fund and stuff like that? I could

00:50:20.949 --> 00:50:24.150
call bullshit on that one, too. So anyhow, yeah,

00:50:24.409 --> 00:50:29.829
screw them. Who cares? Next and final, Clint

00:50:29.829 --> 00:50:32.739
eats his own boogers. I saw him at Dollar General

00:50:32.739 --> 00:50:37.219
eating away. Rem in Clarksville. I believe it.

00:50:37.239 --> 00:50:44.440
What about you? Yeah. Yeah, I believe Clint eats

00:50:44.440 --> 00:50:46.699
his own burgers. And Rem, thanks for letting

00:50:46.699 --> 00:50:51.280
us know. It does not surprise us. And it's probably

00:50:51.280 --> 00:50:54.539
the most nutritious food he's had in years. So,

00:50:54.539 --> 00:50:59.679
that is... All of the emails. You got something,

00:50:59.800 --> 00:51:01.860
Rob? And then we got Ask Padlins we got to get

00:51:01.860 --> 00:51:05.559
to a little bit later. Yeah, I actually do. All

00:51:05.559 --> 00:51:08.980
right. There was one that I told you about the

00:51:08.980 --> 00:51:11.300
other day, and you sounded excited to hear it,

00:51:11.340 --> 00:51:17.039
and I came up with it. Okay. I listen to iHeart

00:51:17.039 --> 00:51:20.460
stations all day with commercials. Well, they've

00:51:20.460 --> 00:51:25.679
been airing this commercial about a 3 -3 basketball

00:51:25.679 --> 00:51:32.320
league. Okay. Okay. Now the basketball season's

00:51:32.320 --> 00:51:36.440
over. They have this, what they call Big Three.

00:51:37.380 --> 00:51:40.500
It's a three -on -three basketball league founded

00:51:40.500 --> 00:51:44.139
by the hip -hop musician and actor Ice Cube.

00:51:44.460 --> 00:51:49.360
Oh, really? It's called Ice Cube's Three -on

00:51:49.360 --> 00:51:53.659
-Three. Or Big Three, whatever. That sounds interesting.

00:51:53.840 --> 00:51:59.000
And entertainment executive Jeff. Watsonets.

00:51:59.000 --> 00:52:03.280
The league consists of eight teams whose rosters

00:52:03.280 --> 00:52:07.019
include both former NBA players and international

00:52:07.019 --> 00:52:10.920
players. The rules of Big Three games contain

00:52:10.920 --> 00:52:15.340
deviations from the official rules of three -on

00:52:15.340 --> 00:52:19.440
-three basketball as administrated by the FIBA.

00:52:21.320 --> 00:52:25.960
It debuted in 2017 and takes place during the

00:52:25.960 --> 00:52:31.980
NBA offseason. In January 2020, Big 3 announced

00:52:31.980 --> 00:52:36.219
its rule set would be the core of a new basketball

00:52:36.219 --> 00:52:43.239
variant called Fireball 3. Okay, yeah. It started

00:52:43.239 --> 00:52:47.239
in 2017. I'm just now hearing about it. Me too.

00:52:47.360 --> 00:52:54.590
I had no idea. Well, big three basketball games

00:52:54.590 --> 00:52:59.849
can be watched on CBS, CBS Sports Network, and

00:52:59.849 --> 00:53:03.789
Vice. You can also stream games on Paramount

00:53:03.789 --> 00:53:11.409
Plus, Thriller TV, and YouTube TV. Very cool.

00:53:12.250 --> 00:53:17.110
And now, I have the name of the teams, which

00:53:17.110 --> 00:53:20.940
is what really taught my name. my attention to

00:53:20.940 --> 00:53:28.420
this article and you know it yeah okay we have

00:53:28.420 --> 00:53:36.579
the boston ball halls okay i get that i like

00:53:36.579 --> 00:53:42.679
it that's a good night okay next we have the

00:53:42.679 --> 00:53:50.079
chicago triplets That's a good thing. I do too.

00:53:51.840 --> 00:53:57.199
Okay, this one kind of fits. Dallas Power. Yeah.

00:53:58.219 --> 00:54:02.960
Because they think they have power. Oh. Yeah.

00:54:03.739 --> 00:54:07.679
Kind of like the Cowboys. Oh, yeah. Yeah, those

00:54:07.679 --> 00:54:11.780
little bitches. Yep. You don't hear so much bragging

00:54:11.780 --> 00:54:14.619
about them anymore. Anyhow, go ahead. Right,

00:54:14.639 --> 00:54:19.639
right, right. And then we have... the Detroit

00:54:19.639 --> 00:54:26.219
Amps. Not bad. Yeah, yeah, probably from Motown,

00:54:26.239 --> 00:54:31.539
Amps. Yeah, yeah. Very cool. Yeah, that's why

00:54:31.539 --> 00:54:38.019
I took it. Okay. And then we have DMV Trilogy,

00:54:38.159 --> 00:54:42.460
which I had to look up to see where DMV was.

00:54:44.700 --> 00:54:48.599
DMV is the District of Columbia, Maryland, and

00:54:48.599 --> 00:54:52.639
Virginia. Oh, okay. Yeah, Delmarva or something

00:54:52.639 --> 00:54:56.320
like that. Yeah. Washington, D .C., Maryland,

00:54:56.460 --> 00:55:01.199
and they're based out of Baltimore. Okay. Yeah.

00:55:01.980 --> 00:55:05.239
Very fucking cool. And then we have another one

00:55:05.239 --> 00:55:10.519
that the name is very fitting. Houston Red Hands.

00:55:11.880 --> 00:55:17.239
Oh, okay. Yep. Oil rig. Yeah, yeah. Used to be

00:55:17.239 --> 00:55:21.880
Houston Oilers. All right, I get it. I like it.

00:55:21.940 --> 00:55:28.500
Very good. The next one, I get it to Miami 305.

00:55:32.579 --> 00:55:39.159
That's the area code. Okay, yeah. And for your

00:55:39.159 --> 00:55:42.960
18, and this is the one that caught my attention.

00:55:45.410 --> 00:55:53.650
L .A. Riot. Seriously, L .A. Riot is the name

00:55:53.650 --> 00:56:00.630
of their team. Now we go into discussion. How

00:56:00.630 --> 00:56:09.869
are they going to get away with that? I mean...

00:56:10.300 --> 00:56:12.440
They shut down Washington because they were called

00:56:12.440 --> 00:56:19.360
the Redskins. Yeah. I don't know, Rob. Hey, hey.

00:56:20.480 --> 00:56:23.400
Our listeners are coming up out in California,

00:56:23.699 --> 00:56:27.639
correct? Yes, very much so. But you're from some

00:56:27.639 --> 00:56:31.300
of our California listeners. Yeah, email us.

00:56:31.300 --> 00:56:34.079
How do you feel about your three -on -three team

00:56:34.079 --> 00:56:40.099
being named L .A. Riot? I want to know. I don't

00:56:40.099 --> 00:56:44.960
think. I would not be proud of it. I don't think

00:56:44.960 --> 00:56:48.059
they are. I think this is a private organization.

00:56:50.179 --> 00:56:55.639
Yeah, yeah, please. Hang on, let me... Give out

00:56:55.639 --> 00:57:03.019
the email. Yep, it is 2douches at live... What

00:57:03.019 --> 00:57:08.630
now? Hang on. What the hell happened to it? Hang

00:57:08.630 --> 00:57:15.869
on. Mail .com. Hang on. You caught me off guard

00:57:15.869 --> 00:57:21.469
here. I got it right. Okay. No, I'm trying to

00:57:21.469 --> 00:57:24.210
make sure because I had some issues with it.

00:57:26.409 --> 00:57:33.349
And I'm changing books. We'll come back to that.

00:57:33.630 --> 00:57:37.380
Yeah, we will. Hang on. It's too... Two douches

00:57:37.380 --> 00:57:52.460
at mail .com, I do believe. Okay. Yeah. I have

00:57:52.460 --> 00:57:57.480
it written down, too, and I keep telling it tonight

00:57:57.480 --> 00:57:59.860
for some reason. No, you're right, you're right,

00:57:59.900 --> 00:58:04.719
you're right. Okay. Two douches at mail .com.

00:58:04.800 --> 00:58:10.960
Okay. Okay. Yes. 2douches at mail .com. Okay.

00:58:11.059 --> 00:58:13.300
Got it. I feel much better about myself now.

00:58:13.539 --> 00:58:18.360
Okay. Well, we've changed emails so many times.

00:58:18.360 --> 00:58:20.599
I know. I know. But then when it was questioned,

00:58:20.719 --> 00:58:23.139
all of a sudden my mind went blank. I'm like,

00:58:23.199 --> 00:58:27.780
ah. Because it's a new one. Yeah. Yeah. Anyhow.

00:58:27.800 --> 00:58:32.179
Okay. I'm glad we got through that. Okay. Let's

00:58:32.179 --> 00:58:37.139
take our, yeah, 2douches. at mail .com. Send

00:58:37.139 --> 00:58:40.820
us how you feel about the name LA Riots, please.

00:58:41.239 --> 00:58:42.980
Please just take a minute out of your day. We

00:58:42.980 --> 00:58:45.599
want to hear from you. Yes, we'd love to hear

00:58:45.599 --> 00:58:49.139
from you. And also, tell us a little bit about

00:58:49.139 --> 00:58:51.380
yourself and what you like about the show. We

00:58:51.380 --> 00:58:57.420
would love that. Love that. Let's take our second

00:58:57.420 --> 00:59:01.539
break. Come back with some ass paddlings. Oh,

00:59:01.539 --> 00:59:04.119
yes. Rob has a couple he wants to get to. He's

00:59:04.119 --> 00:59:05.840
just chomping at the bed, aren't you? Yes, I

00:59:05.840 --> 00:59:10.079
do. Yep. We will be right back. One you might

00:59:10.079 --> 00:59:15.159
have, I don't know. You know what? We can always

00:59:15.159 --> 00:59:18.719
both get in on the same ass paddling. It doesn't

00:59:18.719 --> 00:59:35.800
matter. All right. We will be right back. Two

00:59:35.800 --> 00:59:37.840
tool bags and a socket wrench. We'll be right

00:59:37.840 --> 00:59:42.019
back. Hey everybody, this is Uncle Rob. I'm going

00:59:42.019 --> 00:59:46.480
to give you some tips for life. This is Uncle

00:59:46.480 --> 00:59:52.159
Rob's rules to dick pics. Rule number one, title

00:59:52.159 --> 00:59:55.420
of a pic in someone else's name. So if you get

00:59:55.420 --> 01:00:00.679
busted, it's not yours. Rule number two, shoot

01:00:00.679 --> 01:00:04.019
angles complimentary to your length and girth.

01:00:19.239 --> 01:00:21.659
So you want proof that we love you here at QD

01:00:21.659 --> 01:00:24.420
Spades and Microphone Central? Here's a proof

01:00:24.420 --> 01:00:26.539
right here. How about the drink of the week?

01:00:27.920 --> 01:00:30.360
Hey, my little bacon bits. Didn't you need to

01:00:30.360 --> 01:00:32.699
get to Smashville pronto? Did your friends start

01:00:32.699 --> 01:00:36.519
without you? We have your solution. Adios, motherfuckers.

01:00:37.639 --> 01:00:40.440
Adios, motherfuckers is one stiff drink. It should

01:00:40.440 --> 01:00:43.900
be used with caution. One half ounce of vodka.

01:00:44.099 --> 01:00:46.679
One half ounce of rum. One half ounce of tequila.

01:00:47.050 --> 01:00:49.730
1 1⁄2 ounce of gin, 1 1⁄2 ounce of blue curacao,

01:00:49.969 --> 01:00:53.289
2 ounces of sweet and sour mix, Sprite or 7 -Up,

01:00:53.369 --> 01:00:56.329
use a lemon wedge as a garnish, and put in a

01:00:56.329 --> 01:01:01.530
highball glass. Bam! There you go. Next time

01:01:01.530 --> 01:01:03.829
you take a dump, listen to two douchebags and

01:01:03.829 --> 01:01:06.389
a microphone. It's been proven in laboratory

01:01:06.389 --> 01:01:10.130
rats to relax your anal canal. Get in cover.

01:01:13.110 --> 01:01:15.650
Hey, if you're a fan of paying way too much for

01:01:15.650 --> 01:01:17.920
trinkets and food, Well, your wish is coming

01:01:17.920 --> 01:01:20.679
true. Kansas City International Airport Guest

01:01:20.679 --> 01:01:24.039
Pass program is starting today. Yes, you too

01:01:24.039 --> 01:01:26.679
could overspend on workless trinkets and $15

01:01:26.679 --> 01:01:29.820
cups of coffee. You want to buy a $50 cheap t

01:01:29.820 --> 01:01:32.480
-shirt that has KC Western Auto Building image

01:01:32.480 --> 01:01:35.739
on it? We got you covered. Want a barbecue sauce

01:01:35.739 --> 01:01:38.900
gift pack? No problem. Just a mere $40 and you're

01:01:38.900 --> 01:01:41.559
first born. Hurry. You know Rubes are jumping

01:01:41.559 --> 01:01:45.429
all over to get to this complete ripoff. Because

01:01:45.429 --> 01:01:48.730
people are sheep. Miss Gulkenstein was tired

01:01:48.730 --> 01:01:51.269
of Mark and Toe for making sport of her. Little

01:01:51.269 --> 01:01:53.489
did the douchebags know, Miss Gulkenstein was

01:01:53.489 --> 01:01:55.829
a voodoo high priestess when she was younger.

01:01:56.369 --> 01:02:00.250
She grew angry and cast a spell on Rob, changing

01:02:00.250 --> 01:02:04.929
Rob into a capuchin monkey. Mark took Rob to

01:02:04.929 --> 01:02:06.909
a local zoo so he could be with the other monkeys.

01:02:07.269 --> 01:02:11.090
Here are the adventures of Rob, the capuchin

01:02:11.090 --> 01:02:16.989
monkey. be very quiet we're gonna listen in as

01:02:16.989 --> 01:02:19.349
rob the capuchin monkey tries to sell the rest

01:02:19.349 --> 01:02:22.250
of the capuchin monkeys amway rob has always

01:02:22.250 --> 01:02:25.590
dreamed of becoming a diamond status amway as

01:02:25.590 --> 01:02:48.880
a capuchin monkey Little did our hero Rob know.

01:02:49.519 --> 01:02:52.260
All the great apes owned stock in Sam's Club

01:02:52.260 --> 01:02:54.480
and became violently pissed off when he tried

01:02:54.480 --> 01:02:56.980
to infringe on their territory. They promptly

01:02:56.980 --> 01:02:59.179
grabbed switches and beat his ass for three days

01:02:59.179 --> 01:03:02.900
straight. Rob could not sit down. Hey there,

01:03:02.960 --> 01:03:06.119
Corn Flakes. This is Reggie with Ty with your

01:03:06.119 --> 01:03:12.199
music news. Whitesnake was forced to cancel European

01:03:12.199 --> 01:03:15.539
tour in 2024 due to David Coverdale's reoccurring

01:03:15.539 --> 01:03:17.980
respiratory infection. The founder in front of

01:03:17.980 --> 01:03:20.199
Anne is better, and the Snakes are set to perform

01:03:20.199 --> 01:03:22.340
in Norway at their biggest rock festival this

01:03:22.340 --> 01:03:25.000
year. We will keep you posted on any other dates

01:03:25.000 --> 01:03:29.579
added to 2025 season. Don't forget, buy one,

01:03:29.599 --> 01:03:31.920
get one free. Jeritol when your ticket's done.

01:03:32.559 --> 01:03:40.300
This is Reggie Riptide reporting for the Douchebags.

01:03:41.059 --> 01:03:43.179
Go on, get the hell out of here. Don't you have

01:03:43.179 --> 01:03:48.519
something to do? Jeez. Lazy fucks. And now we

01:03:48.519 --> 01:03:51.320
look in on the adventures of the technical explanation

01:03:51.320 --> 01:03:55.019
guy. Why, excuse me, my dear chap. Could you

01:03:55.019 --> 01:03:58.300
please pass the sodium chloride? Do you mean

01:03:58.300 --> 01:04:03.239
the salt? Why, yes. Yes, I do. Then just say

01:04:03.239 --> 01:04:16.960
the salt, you dumb motherfucker. Two douchebags

01:04:16.960 --> 01:04:19.659
and a microphone operating from Kansas City at

01:04:19.659 --> 01:04:24.539
the Talk is Cheap studio. And I am Rob from the

01:04:24.539 --> 01:04:28.179
beautiful Niagara Arm of Lake of the Ozarks in

01:04:28.179 --> 01:04:34.679
the Duck Prime studio. All right. We have some

01:04:34.679 --> 01:04:40.380
ass paddling to get to, right? Rob, I would like

01:04:40.380 --> 01:04:42.440
you to go first on your ass paddlings. And I

01:04:42.440 --> 01:04:44.719
have like 11 of them. I have quite a few ass

01:04:44.719 --> 01:04:52.239
paddlings. Some people really needed it. Well,

01:04:52.239 --> 01:04:54.159
I was kind of hoping you'd go first. Oh, you

01:04:54.159 --> 01:04:55.980
want me to? Okay. I want to see if you have one

01:04:55.980 --> 01:04:58.440
of them on there. Okay. All right. That'll work.

01:04:58.900 --> 01:05:01.619
I know the one. I'll bring up the rear. Okay.

01:05:01.659 --> 01:05:03.760
I'll bring up the rear. All right. All right.

01:05:03.780 --> 01:05:06.219
Rob will bring up the rear. You heard him. All

01:05:06.219 --> 01:05:09.760
right. Ass paddling started like this. It started

01:05:09.760 --> 01:05:11.579
with Topher and I when we started the podcast.

01:05:11.679 --> 01:05:15.719
It's like the fourth episode. We went on a little

01:05:15.719 --> 01:05:18.320
vacation, you know, a little douchebags vacation

01:05:18.320 --> 01:05:23.579
in Florida. I believe we were in the Destin area.

01:05:24.420 --> 01:05:27.780
No, we're in the Clearwater area. We're walking

01:05:27.780 --> 01:05:31.579
on a sandy beach. It was morning. The sun was

01:05:31.579 --> 01:05:34.710
blowing through our hair. or not the sun. The

01:05:34.710 --> 01:05:36.750
wind was blowing through our hair gently and

01:05:36.750 --> 01:05:40.269
the sun was rising and you could see the glistening

01:05:40.269 --> 01:05:43.570
off of us as we was walking towards the sunshine

01:05:43.570 --> 01:05:47.570
on the beach. Two guys can have a tender moment

01:05:47.570 --> 01:05:50.289
unlike Rob and the dupe thing that, you know,

01:05:50.309 --> 01:05:52.050
that like there's a little bit more going on.

01:05:52.769 --> 01:05:57.050
You describe it too well. No, we were just having

01:05:57.050 --> 01:05:59.570
a tender moment. You describe it too well. We

01:05:59.570 --> 01:06:02.860
were just having a tender moment. We're walking

01:06:02.860 --> 01:06:05.940
along and I stepped on something. It hurt like

01:06:05.940 --> 01:06:09.400
hell. And I look back and it looked like a genie's

01:06:09.400 --> 01:06:12.619
bottle. And Topher goes, haha, it looks like

01:06:12.619 --> 01:06:14.639
a genie's bottle. I said, oh, that's not a genie's

01:06:14.639 --> 01:06:16.500
bottle. I walk up there and I go, dude, it looks

01:06:16.500 --> 01:06:19.139
like a genie's bottle. He's like, no shit. So

01:06:19.139 --> 01:06:21.980
I pop it open and this genie comes out. Very

01:06:21.980 --> 01:06:24.079
condescending. He hated us. He couldn't stand

01:06:24.079 --> 01:06:27.739
us. We were heathens. Topher and I were like,

01:06:27.780 --> 01:06:30.320
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And, you know, we get

01:06:30.320 --> 01:06:32.699
three wishes and the genie rolls his eyes. He

01:06:32.699 --> 01:06:35.860
goes, no, you guys watch too much TV. You get

01:06:35.860 --> 01:06:39.539
one wish, one wish only, make it count. World

01:06:39.539 --> 01:06:44.159
peace, environmental, end to cancer. Make it

01:06:44.159 --> 01:06:46.840
good, guys. Come on, do us right. And Topher

01:06:46.840 --> 01:06:48.139
and I looked at each other and said, we want

01:06:48.139 --> 01:06:50.320
to be invisible one day a month so we can ass

01:06:50.320 --> 01:06:53.079
paddle people that need it. The genie rolled

01:06:53.079 --> 01:06:55.980
his eyes and he very reluctantly. granted us

01:06:55.980 --> 01:07:00.480
that wish. He goes, I have to because you guys

01:07:00.480 --> 01:07:03.079
set me free, but I think you guys are idiots,

01:07:03.260 --> 01:07:06.320
heathens, and morons, but I have to do it, so

01:07:06.320 --> 01:07:09.079
okay. One day a week, you guys get to turn invisible

01:07:09.079 --> 01:07:13.519
and paddle somebody, and we use a replica of

01:07:13.519 --> 01:07:16.320
Old Sparky, which is sitting, or the last I knew

01:07:16.320 --> 01:07:20.219
was sitting in the Cass Midway of Missouri in

01:07:20.219 --> 01:07:23.320
Cass County, the Cleveland Freeman Westline District.

01:07:25.320 --> 01:07:28.980
They had an old sparky. He met my bottom quite

01:07:28.980 --> 01:07:32.199
a few times, and it did not feel good. He had

01:07:32.199 --> 01:07:35.079
a very long stalk for extra, extra movement to

01:07:35.079 --> 01:07:37.119
where you could really get some lightning going.

01:07:37.300 --> 01:07:40.820
And he had holes on the paddle portion of it,

01:07:40.840 --> 01:07:45.639
and he was thick. I believe he was maybe hedge.

01:07:46.199 --> 01:07:50.809
It was very, very strong wood, and it hurt. So

01:07:50.809 --> 01:07:53.309
we're using a replica of Old Sparky because I

01:07:53.309 --> 01:07:55.429
believe Old Sparky is still in Cass Midway's

01:07:55.429 --> 01:07:57.650
trophy case next to the state championships.

01:07:58.309 --> 01:08:02.849
So we went to the genie, and the genie granted

01:08:02.849 --> 01:08:05.690
Rob special permission to do this with us. And,

01:08:05.789 --> 01:08:08.130
Rob, you thanked the genie. You sent him a pair

01:08:08.130 --> 01:08:11.929
of socks, didn't you, that you knitted? Yeah,

01:08:11.949 --> 01:08:15.130
yeah. Actually, I talked to the genie today.

01:08:15.170 --> 01:08:17.510
We'll get into that a little bit later. Oh, okay.

01:08:17.609 --> 01:08:21.720
Okay, good, good. So this ass paddling that's

01:08:21.720 --> 01:08:24.300
happening this month actually is a little bit

01:08:24.300 --> 01:08:27.880
less than a month. We had so many. Idiots that

01:08:27.880 --> 01:08:31.220
highlight their post out of laziness. Go ahead

01:08:31.220 --> 01:08:33.079
and interrupt everyone's day by highlighting

01:08:33.079 --> 01:08:35.199
someone who wished you a happy birthday instead

01:08:35.199 --> 01:08:37.800
of just liking it or saying thank you. Instead,

01:08:37.920 --> 01:08:40.739
we have to see this bullshit on our feed. I don't

01:08:40.739 --> 01:08:42.720
give a shit about somebody's birthday. I don't

01:08:42.720 --> 01:08:45.039
know. I should not have to witness this whenever

01:08:45.039 --> 01:08:47.920
I get on fake book. Don't highlight it. That's

01:08:47.920 --> 01:08:50.500
lazy. You're an idiot if you do that. Just say

01:08:50.500 --> 01:08:52.819
thank you like a normal, decent person does.

01:08:54.640 --> 01:08:57.279
All of them. I will second that motion because

01:08:57.279 --> 01:09:00.800
I have people highlight me on vehicles and stuff.

01:09:01.079 --> 01:09:05.420
Don't you fucking hate that? When this new truck,

01:09:05.699 --> 01:09:09.319
you know. Mm -hmm. All right, that's a waste

01:09:09.319 --> 01:09:13.039
of my time even looking at this. Yes. So stop

01:09:13.039 --> 01:09:16.039
it. You guys are idiots to do that, and you deserve

01:09:16.039 --> 01:09:19.060
probably more ass paddlings, but if you just

01:09:19.060 --> 01:09:21.659
stop it here, we're willing to overlook all the

01:09:21.659 --> 01:09:26.520
other stupid stuff. People that like their own

01:09:26.520 --> 01:09:30.260
post, they need an ass paddling. You ever see

01:09:30.260 --> 01:09:32.420
someone put something up, and then you see them

01:09:32.420 --> 01:09:37.439
like it? Yeah. Yeah. That's bullshit. We know

01:09:37.439 --> 01:09:40.399
you like it. You posted it, idiot. We know you

01:09:40.399 --> 01:09:41.819
like it. If you didn't like it, you wouldn't

01:09:41.819 --> 01:09:46.560
have posted it. So please, dummy, when you post

01:09:46.560 --> 01:09:52.399
something, stay away from the like button. All

01:09:52.399 --> 01:09:56.640
right. Assholes that don't bother to like a post

01:09:56.640 --> 01:09:59.659
they just hijacked from you. Does that not irritate

01:09:59.659 --> 01:10:02.140
the shit out of you? They don't even say thank

01:10:02.140 --> 01:10:04.260
you. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. They share your post,

01:10:04.300 --> 01:10:06.460
but they don't, like, give you a like. Yeah,

01:10:06.460 --> 01:10:10.300
it's like you, bitch. Asshole. Yeah. Yeah, I

01:10:10.300 --> 01:10:12.850
wish there was a you're a fuckhead button. You

01:10:12.850 --> 01:10:15.829
better give me my life first before you share

01:10:15.829 --> 01:10:18.149
it. Yeah, don't come back a day later and realize

01:10:18.149 --> 01:10:19.770
that you didn't. You better have appreciated

01:10:19.770 --> 01:10:22.670
what I put up at that moment. And then you can

01:10:22.670 --> 01:10:25.909
steal it. But what I do is I always go, hey,

01:10:25.949 --> 01:10:27.810
I'm going to steal this. Do you care? And they're

01:10:27.810 --> 01:10:30.750
always like, no, go ahead. Common courtesy, folks.

01:10:31.029 --> 01:10:33.949
Common courtesy gets you a long ways. Unless

01:10:33.949 --> 01:10:35.850
you're dealing with a bullshit insurance company

01:10:35.850 --> 01:10:39.069
like I am. I'll go into that probably next podcast.

01:10:39.909 --> 01:10:44.880
All right. All the swagger stompers out there,

01:10:44.979 --> 01:10:48.439
leave a man and his game the fuck alone. Don't

01:10:48.439 --> 01:10:52.479
get in the way. Leave him alone. If he's got

01:10:52.479 --> 01:10:56.340
smooth going on, stand back and watch. Watch

01:10:56.340 --> 01:11:00.039
in awe. Go help the guy out. You know, go over

01:11:00.039 --> 01:11:02.020
and go, hey, man, that chick over there wants

01:11:02.020 --> 01:11:04.619
your number. And, you know, nobody knows her.

01:11:04.640 --> 01:11:06.939
She's just hot walking down the road. And then,

01:11:07.000 --> 01:11:08.720
you know, the guy realizes what you're doing.

01:11:08.779 --> 01:11:10.260
You know, you're giving them a salt. And he goes,

01:11:10.380 --> 01:11:15.420
oh, she's not my type, but thank you. Yeah, help

01:11:15.420 --> 01:11:18.579
a guy out. Prop him up. It'll come back to you

01:11:18.579 --> 01:11:25.720
sometime. Swagger stompers are, they are, they're

01:11:25.720 --> 01:11:29.760
garbage. They're scum. Don't swag or stomp. Alright.

01:11:31.520 --> 01:11:35.060
Anyone who posts a sad post about a popular person

01:11:35.060 --> 01:11:38.840
dying only was from five years ago. A perfect

01:11:38.840 --> 01:11:42.020
example for this, last ten years, Andy Griffiths

01:11:42.020 --> 01:11:47.479
has died due to dumb shitness. Every fucking

01:11:47.479 --> 01:11:50.840
year, on that day that he died, someone posts,

01:11:50.899 --> 01:11:55.539
oh, sad news out of Mayberry or whatever. Andy

01:11:55.539 --> 01:11:58.119
Griffith has passed away at the age of 86 or

01:11:58.119 --> 01:12:00.460
whatever, and it's like, he did this 10 years

01:12:00.460 --> 01:12:06.079
ago, fuckface. Yeah. Bother to look it up. Someone

01:12:06.079 --> 01:12:11.020
duped you, don't try to dupe us. Jeez. And you'll

01:12:11.020 --> 01:12:13.420
see it. I mean, I know you notice, Rob, because

01:12:13.420 --> 01:12:17.020
you notice stuff like this. But watch it. Watch

01:12:17.020 --> 01:12:19.260
someone we'll post probably in the next month,

01:12:19.260 --> 01:12:21.960
if not sooner, someone that already died, and

01:12:21.960 --> 01:12:25.199
they think they just died. So. I'd call them

01:12:25.199 --> 01:12:27.439
out on it. Oh, yeah, or someone. I'd call them

01:12:27.439 --> 01:12:29.659
out on it. Oh, that's good. Good. I'm going to

01:12:29.659 --> 01:12:32.760
start doing it, too, going, hey, dumb shit. I'd

01:12:32.760 --> 01:12:36.720
be the one saying, hey, Andy Griffith died 10

01:12:36.720 --> 01:12:40.100
years ago. I'd say, how many times has this guy

01:12:40.100 --> 01:12:42.079
got to die? Can't he just go to the afterlife?

01:12:42.399 --> 01:12:47.800
Leave him the fuck alone. Oh, anyhow. Yeah, bullshit.

01:12:48.560 --> 01:12:52.779
Do your due diligence. Look it up. Before you

01:12:52.779 --> 01:12:56.979
post something, make sure it's correct. All right,

01:12:57.000 --> 01:13:00.520
next. All two -faced dickheads. Stand up and

01:13:00.520 --> 01:13:03.180
say it to who you're speaking about. Everything

01:13:03.180 --> 01:13:07.199
else is verbal vomit. That's it. And I'm speaking

01:13:07.199 --> 01:13:10.840
to a lot of different people. Probably most of

01:13:10.840 --> 01:13:13.579
them don't listen. A couple of them might. You

01:13:13.579 --> 01:13:18.340
know who you are. If you don't have enough nutsack

01:13:18.340 --> 01:13:21.960
female... Male, whatever. If you don't have enough

01:13:21.960 --> 01:13:24.939
fucking nadsickle in you, don't fucking say it.

01:13:25.140 --> 01:13:27.899
Say it to the person's face. Get tired of that

01:13:27.899 --> 01:13:30.579
shit. Say it to me, not to everybody around me.

01:13:30.579 --> 01:13:33.159
And I'm not specifically talking about me. I'm

01:13:33.159 --> 01:13:35.020
talking about a lot of people that I hear as

01:13:35.020 --> 01:13:37.359
soon as they go around the corner. Oh, that guy's

01:13:37.359 --> 01:13:39.220
a fucking idiot. It's like, well, he was right

01:13:39.220 --> 01:13:41.399
there. Why don't you tell him? Don't tell me,

01:13:41.539 --> 01:13:47.380
chicken shit. All right. All the passive aggressive

01:13:47.380 --> 01:13:50.670
slimes. Own your own feelings, you fucking loser.

01:13:52.229 --> 01:13:54.770
I hate passive aggressiveness. Hey, what's wrong?

01:13:54.930 --> 01:13:59.289
Oh, nothing. Certainly sounds like it. Oh, no,

01:13:59.430 --> 01:14:03.289
no, no, nothing's wrong. No, something's wrong.

01:14:03.670 --> 01:14:06.430
You're just being a pussy. You won't tell me

01:14:06.430 --> 01:14:08.369
so you can go around and fucking grumble about

01:14:08.369 --> 01:14:11.750
it and talk about what a dick I am. And I'm not

01:14:11.750 --> 01:14:13.649
necessarily talking about me on this one either.

01:14:13.930 --> 01:14:16.050
I see a lot of people doing this to a lot of

01:14:16.050 --> 01:14:19.680
people. Be a fucking real person. And if you

01:14:19.680 --> 01:14:22.359
feel something, say it. Give them a chance to

01:14:22.359 --> 01:14:25.439
respond. Don't go around all grudgingly fucking

01:14:25.439 --> 01:14:30.380
hemming and hawing and fucking sighing. So, all

01:14:30.380 --> 01:14:33.180
right, the next one. One ply toilet paper gets

01:14:33.180 --> 01:14:37.380
a smack on its ass, right? Oh, my God. Thank

01:14:37.380 --> 01:14:41.920
you. Yes. Oh, fuck, we can't. Oh, it'll break

01:14:41.920 --> 01:14:47.390
through. We're going to have to find something

01:14:47.390 --> 01:14:50.189
else to do to one. Hey, how about lighting? Seriously,

01:14:50.210 --> 01:14:55.449
dude. Seriously, dude. I was in urgent. I heard

01:14:55.449 --> 01:15:02.109
here a few weeks ago. Oh, no. Oh, no. Yeah, I

01:15:02.109 --> 01:15:10.850
got you. Oh, my God. It's like you might have.

01:15:14.620 --> 01:15:17.600
You might as well use your hand. That's basically

01:15:17.600 --> 01:15:22.340
what you're doing. Yeah, because, you know, seriously,

01:15:22.699 --> 01:15:24.920
the way I've had it. Well, I'm not going to tell

01:15:24.920 --> 01:15:28.020
you. Anyway. Okay, you guys get the picture.

01:15:28.500 --> 01:15:30.960
Your finger will go through it. Put it that way.

01:15:32.640 --> 01:15:37.880
Yes. Next one. You know, I had all this social

01:15:37.880 --> 01:15:40.159
media stuff that I was going into, so I decided

01:15:40.159 --> 01:15:42.720
to do the last few of them a little bit different.

01:15:44.009 --> 01:15:47.829
Gatorade zero powder packets gets an ass paddling

01:15:47.829 --> 01:15:50.369
because all the good flavors are spotty and hard

01:15:50.369 --> 01:15:54.130
to find. I am a traditionalist, and everybody

01:15:54.130 --> 01:15:57.409
my age is too that I know. They don't like the

01:15:57.409 --> 01:16:00.909
glacier, cherry, freeze, fucking rah -rah bullshit.

01:16:01.289 --> 01:16:06.609
They like orange, lemon -lime. Grape. Grape,

01:16:06.609 --> 01:16:10.319
yeah. Cherry. Yeah, cherry. Yeah, they don't

01:16:10.319 --> 01:16:12.920
like all that bullshit stuff, all that stuff

01:16:12.920 --> 01:16:15.619
that all the kids like. And then all the stuff

01:16:15.619 --> 01:16:18.300
they have in the Gatorade packs, which I like

01:16:18.300 --> 01:16:21.060
because you can take them in your pocket, go

01:16:21.060 --> 01:16:24.039
buy a water and pour it in there and have you

01:16:24.039 --> 01:16:27.279
a Gatorade. And I like that stuff much better

01:16:27.279 --> 01:16:29.260
than that stuff in the bottles. It's too weak

01:16:29.260 --> 01:16:32.539
for me, but they refuse to give us good flavors.

01:16:32.819 --> 01:16:35.500
They just have the stuff that like the cool kids

01:16:35.500 --> 01:16:40.000
like. So, and right, right, Rob? Right, right.

01:16:40.060 --> 01:16:42.560
That's why I buy the bottles. I can get my one

01:16:42.560 --> 01:16:49.539
in mine. Oh. Well, I use Zero, and I have to

01:16:49.539 --> 01:16:51.539
use a little bit more of it because I don't like

01:16:51.539 --> 01:16:54.579
the regular mix. So, anyhow, that's just my own

01:16:54.579 --> 01:16:59.140
thing. All right. Clint gets a very rare continuous

01:16:59.140 --> 01:17:03.140
24 -7 ass paddling. The genie granted special

01:17:03.140 --> 01:17:07.979
treatment for his extreme knuckle dragging. So,

01:17:08.039 --> 01:17:12.880
Clint. will, every day of the rest of his life,

01:17:13.140 --> 01:17:17.680
unless he ever loses his Narcan, will get an

01:17:17.680 --> 01:17:20.680
ass paddling. The time is going to be determined.

01:17:20.819 --> 01:17:23.260
It may not be the same time every day, but he

01:17:23.260 --> 01:17:25.300
will be getting an ass paddling every day because

01:17:25.300 --> 01:17:28.060
the genie took a look at him and said, yes, you

01:17:28.060 --> 01:17:31.340
may paddle him every day. So thank you, genie,

01:17:31.340 --> 01:17:34.180
even though you hate us. And then finally...

01:17:34.960 --> 01:17:37.020
And you're going to hear a bit on this somewhere

01:17:37.020 --> 01:17:41.380
on this podcast. Jamar Chase, for mouthing off

01:17:41.380 --> 01:17:45.880
about Mahomes again. What a dunce. What an idiot.

01:17:46.939 --> 01:17:53.319
He was talking about that earlier. He poked the

01:17:53.319 --> 01:17:56.020
bear, poked the bear, poked the bear. Quit fucking

01:17:56.020 --> 01:18:00.039
talking about your daddy. It's not nice. You

01:18:00.039 --> 01:18:03.479
can't beat him. You can't beat him. It would

01:18:03.479 --> 01:18:05.399
be different if you beat him all the time, but

01:18:05.399 --> 01:18:08.140
you beat him one fucking time and you guys try

01:18:08.140 --> 01:18:11.939
to live off of that. It ain't working. It ain't

01:18:11.939 --> 01:18:14.479
working. Go back to drawing board, get better,

01:18:14.539 --> 01:18:16.079
and figure out a way to beat him. Otherwise,

01:18:16.199 --> 01:18:19.199
shut up. Because he's beat you how many times

01:18:19.199 --> 01:18:23.399
since? Yes. And every time it's, oh, it's because

01:18:23.399 --> 01:18:25.359
of this, it's because of that, it's because...

01:18:25.359 --> 01:18:30.680
No. Listen. Four or five times in a row... is

01:18:30.680 --> 01:18:35.819
not just accidents. There's a definite pattern

01:18:35.819 --> 01:18:39.640
to it. Yeah. All right, Rob, we turn it to you.

01:18:42.520 --> 01:18:49.000
All right. Can I turn it back on? Yeah. Okay.

01:18:49.199 --> 01:18:53.260
All right. I'm going to go into the wrestling

01:18:53.260 --> 01:18:57.960
world. Sounds good to me. Only because this is

01:18:57.960 --> 01:19:03.279
a big one. Okay. Hall of Famer Goldberg made

01:19:03.279 --> 01:19:06.720
a surprise appearance to confront world heavyweight

01:19:06.720 --> 01:19:11.180
champion Guth one last time before their title

01:19:11.180 --> 01:19:18.439
match on WWE Raw. Okay, I didn't watch it, but

01:19:18.439 --> 01:19:21.960
I read about it. Yeah, he confronted him on Raw.

01:19:23.949 --> 01:19:27.649
Gunther on Monday called Goldberg a coward who

01:19:27.649 --> 01:19:32.289
was scared to meet with him face to face. Goldberg

01:19:32.289 --> 01:19:35.710
then arrived to the arena in style by driving

01:19:35.710 --> 01:19:40.529
in an old school muscle car. Goldberg drove fast

01:19:40.529 --> 01:19:43.109
into the parking garage and walked straight to

01:19:43.109 --> 01:19:47.300
the ring as the crowd chanted his name. Goldberg

01:19:47.300 --> 01:19:51.180
got right into Gunther's face and slapped a microphone

01:19:51.180 --> 01:19:54.920
out of his hands before the champ could say anything

01:19:54.920 --> 01:19:58.800
else. The Hall of Famer then gave Gunther the

01:19:58.800 --> 01:20:02.260
opportunity to punch him once. Gunther obliged,

01:20:02.500 --> 01:20:05.239
but Goldberg blocked his attack and delivered

01:20:05.239 --> 01:20:08.760
a punch of his own that instantly sent the champ

01:20:08.760 --> 01:20:12.279
to the ground. Goldberg sat up in the center

01:20:12.279 --> 01:20:16.380
to deliver his patent and spear. Guthrie wisely

01:20:16.380 --> 01:20:21.319
exited the ring. The reason why I'm leading up

01:20:21.319 --> 01:20:26.000
to this, Guthrie defends his world heavyweight

01:20:26.000 --> 01:20:31.460
championship against Goldberg on Saturday night's

01:20:31.460 --> 01:20:35.539
main event on July 12th, which could be seen

01:20:35.539 --> 01:20:43.319
on NBC or Peacock. Very cool. This could be...

01:20:43.550 --> 01:20:48.829
Goldberg's final match? Very easily could be.

01:20:51.029 --> 01:20:58.069
And they've been working on this match. I've

01:20:58.069 --> 01:21:03.310
been following that. I'm sorry, go ahead. I don't

01:21:03.310 --> 01:21:06.470
report on WWE like I used to because I don't

01:21:06.470 --> 01:21:10.659
watch it like I used to. Yeah. I'm still interested.

01:21:10.840 --> 01:21:14.539
I will still bring stories like this. That's

01:21:14.539 --> 01:21:17.739
cool. This is a set match. Yeah. You know me

01:21:17.739 --> 01:21:22.500
on my WWE. I do not report the speculation. Rob,

01:21:22.500 --> 01:21:26.779
hang on. You had ass paddlings, didn't you? Oh,

01:21:26.800 --> 01:21:29.300
yeah. I got those, too. Oh, okay. All right.

01:21:31.100 --> 01:21:35.479
I'm sorry. I was excited over Goldberg. I thought

01:21:35.479 --> 01:21:37.779
Goldberg was getting an ass paddling for some

01:21:37.779 --> 01:21:40.119
reason, but now I realize, okay. No, no, no,

01:21:40.220 --> 01:21:44.199
no, no. Okay. I had that story pulled up because

01:21:44.199 --> 01:21:46.979
I wanted to get that one out because it's this

01:21:46.979 --> 01:21:50.279
Saturday night and we don't record until Sunday.

01:21:50.720 --> 01:21:54.720
Okay. Yeah, I do have two ass paddlings of my

01:21:54.720 --> 01:21:59.779
own. Okay. And one you did not cover, and I don't

01:21:59.779 --> 01:22:03.439
know why you did. Which one did I cover? No,

01:22:03.439 --> 01:22:06.000
one you did not cover. The one I figured you

01:22:06.000 --> 01:22:13.479
would. Okay. You did not do it. Okay. I want

01:22:13.479 --> 01:22:17.800
to ask, Paddle, whoever set the date on the Ozzy

01:22:17.800 --> 01:22:25.020
of Black Sabbath concert. Yeah. Could they make

01:22:25.020 --> 01:22:30.390
it the weekend before or the weekend after? Fourth

01:22:30.390 --> 01:22:35.369
of July weekend is a busy weekend. Because we

01:22:35.369 --> 01:22:38.869
talked about how we wanted to, but we had a busy

01:22:38.869 --> 01:22:42.489
weekend. I'm sure a lot of people were like that.

01:22:42.949 --> 01:22:44.550
Yeah, I'm sure there were too. Do you realize

01:22:44.550 --> 01:22:47.189
how much money they lost? Yeah. Having a Fourth

01:22:47.189 --> 01:22:51.470
of July weekend in America? It's an American

01:22:51.470 --> 01:22:56.569
holiday. Mm -hmm. They lost a lot of money because

01:22:56.569 --> 01:23:00.649
everybody had plans. No, I agree. I don't know

01:23:00.649 --> 01:23:02.609
anyone that live -streamed it. The weekend before,

01:23:03.010 --> 01:23:08.670
the weekend after, you know? That's why I made

01:23:08.670 --> 01:23:11.529
a lot more money on it. Oh, I agree. That's why

01:23:11.529 --> 01:23:13.930
I live -streamed. I didn't live -stream it. I

01:23:13.930 --> 01:23:17.869
was going to just so I, for one, because of this

01:23:17.869 --> 01:23:20.750
show. We do a lot of music news on it, and I

01:23:20.750 --> 01:23:23.050
wanted to report on more things about it, but

01:23:23.050 --> 01:23:26.090
the live -stream was July 5th, like you said.

01:23:26.520 --> 01:23:29.399
There's no way in hell I could get away that

01:23:29.399 --> 01:23:32.640
much time the day after the holiday weekend.

01:23:33.500 --> 01:23:39.579
Saturday of 4 July weekend, you know. Yeah. That's

01:23:39.579 --> 01:23:43.199
a good one, Rob. All the people that didn't watch

01:23:43.199 --> 01:23:45.779
it because we didn't. They were camping or something.

01:23:45.779 --> 01:23:47.739
They were busy spending time with their family

01:23:47.739 --> 01:23:51.239
and friends. And sitting at the lake doesn't.

01:23:52.280 --> 01:23:54.420
you're not going to want to watch Ozzy's final

01:23:54.420 --> 01:23:56.619
concert. As much as you love him, you're at the

01:23:56.619 --> 01:23:59.479
lake. Like you said, it was a 12 -hour concert.

01:24:00.460 --> 01:24:03.920
Yeah, yes. So, man, that's a good one, Rob. I

01:24:03.920 --> 01:24:05.359
can't believe I didn't think of that. You're

01:24:05.359 --> 01:24:07.819
right. What was the one that I did cover that

01:24:07.819 --> 01:24:11.239
you had already? No, no, that's the one I figured

01:24:11.239 --> 01:24:13.899
you would, but you didn't. I know, but you said

01:24:13.899 --> 01:24:17.359
you had two, right? Yeah, I have another one.

01:24:17.579 --> 01:24:22.060
Oh, you do? Okay. And this is the one that I

01:24:22.060 --> 01:24:25.380
had to call the genie to get approved. Okay.

01:24:27.500 --> 01:24:34.779
I got us a new category. Okay. For community

01:24:34.779 --> 01:24:39.640
ass paddlers. Oh, nice. Nice. Okay. Do tell.

01:24:39.979 --> 01:24:45.399
Okay. Genie told me it's up to us to agree on

01:24:45.399 --> 01:24:50.880
a name. Okay. For this group. But this is where

01:24:50.880 --> 01:24:56.500
you and I and Topher and a whole community where

01:24:56.500 --> 01:25:01.880
something happens gets together. Okay. I like

01:25:01.880 --> 01:25:07.100
this. I like this. And I explained to Jeannie

01:25:07.100 --> 01:25:09.699
why and he totally agreed. He told me to go right

01:25:09.699 --> 01:25:12.840
ahead. Was he being a dick to you? Our very first

01:25:12.840 --> 01:25:33.039
one in this category. Uh -huh. Very cool. Yeah,

01:25:33.460 --> 01:25:37.239
you did. And why I forgot you told me that, I

01:25:37.239 --> 01:25:39.119
have no idea. You sent it to me right before

01:25:39.119 --> 01:25:42.579
the podcast. I was thinking I covered one of

01:25:42.579 --> 01:25:44.619
them for some reason, because I thought you said

01:25:44.619 --> 01:25:50.050
one. I figured you would have covered who set

01:25:50.050 --> 01:25:52.930
the date on Ozzy and Black Sabbath concert. Yeah,

01:25:52.949 --> 01:25:55.109
I got what you're saying now. I had it backwards.

01:25:55.409 --> 01:25:59.130
Okay. Officer Fox, I called Jeannie and got approved

01:25:59.130 --> 01:26:02.789
of a new category, and this is for communities

01:26:02.789 --> 01:26:07.109
to gather in. I like that, Rob. I think that's

01:26:07.109 --> 01:26:11.119
a great one. So, yeah. All right. Do you want

01:26:11.119 --> 01:26:13.159
to keep going? You're the one that has to work

01:26:13.159 --> 01:26:14.979
so early in the morning. I don't have to work

01:26:14.979 --> 01:26:17.479
tomorrow, so you tell me. Do we keep going or

01:26:17.479 --> 01:26:22.359
not? Yeah, yeah. I'm about done. Okay. Like I

01:26:22.359 --> 01:26:27.180
said, I've got to be at work at 6. All right.

01:26:27.640 --> 01:26:29.979
All right, brother. Well, thanks for joining

01:26:29.979 --> 01:26:33.100
me, like always. And everybody out there, thank

01:26:33.100 --> 01:26:34.899
you for listening. Our numbers are fantastic.

01:26:35.159 --> 01:26:39.649
We appreciate you. Tell your friends. Spread

01:26:39.649 --> 01:26:42.109
the word around, man. I would like to see. We're

01:26:42.109 --> 01:26:44.390
growing really good. We always have been. We

01:26:44.390 --> 01:26:46.750
would like to see more growth. We would like

01:26:46.750 --> 01:26:48.989
to see how big this thing can get before we go

01:26:48.989 --> 01:26:52.930
to video. So, yeah, please, if you like it, spread

01:26:52.930 --> 01:26:56.890
the word. Play it in front of people until they

01:26:56.890 --> 01:27:01.970
start vomiting and then stop. So, anyhow, thank

01:27:01.970 --> 01:27:05.689
you. And always remember, reach your Bluetooth.

01:27:06.670 --> 01:27:10.239
Yes. Yes. Did I put that one on the last one?

01:27:10.420 --> 01:27:12.159
You keep forgetting to remind people of that.

01:27:12.399 --> 01:27:13.920
You know what? I've got to look that one up.

01:27:14.000 --> 01:27:15.880
I have not done that in a long time, have I?

01:27:18.199 --> 01:27:21.199
No. Okay. Yeah, you need to bleach your Bluetooth

01:27:21.199 --> 01:27:23.720
after every episode because if not... I think

01:27:23.720 --> 01:27:27.260
of it all the time. Yeah, I mean, I forget and

01:27:27.260 --> 01:27:30.319
I get this weird fungus on it. It's crazy. Yeah.

01:27:30.659 --> 01:27:34.399
Yeah. So, anyhow. Everybody, thank you for listening.

01:27:34.479 --> 01:27:38.359
Have a good night, assholes. Good night, assholes.

01:27:42.079 --> 01:27:45.819
Oh, no. Looks like the show's over, kids. Mark

01:27:45.819 --> 01:27:48.880
has explosive diarrhea and can't afford a wireless

01:27:48.880 --> 01:27:52.500
mic. Fear not, assholes. They'll be back invading

01:27:52.500 --> 01:27:53.439
your ear holes soon.