Hey, you fucking derelicts. It's time for the
Daily Douchebag Pledge. I, Joe or Jane Listener,
hereby promise to download the show. I, Joe or
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and all of my work computers as well, and download
the show from there. I, Joe or Jane Listener,
hereby promise to make other people listen. I,
Joe or Jane Listener, will hereby lie to everyone
about how quality the show is. I, Joe or Jane
Listener. promised to make all my family members
listen and recite the daily douchebag pledge.
And finally, I, Joe or Jane Listener, hereby
promise to make the trek to Knobloch, Missouri,
just to have a selfie with the Knobloch sign.
Here at Two Douchebags and a Microphone, we don't
stand behind our journalistic integrity. Go ahead
and assume we got the story wrong. At least we
admit it. Not like all those other guys. We can
and will lie if it makes the story better. Two
douchebags and a microphone. Hello, this is Phineas
J. Altaris III. I'm here to deliver your music
news this evening. Ozzy Osbourne has teamed up
with Birmingham United Kingdom alternative makeup
brand Jolie Beauty to produce a unique collection
of cosmetic and makeup products. The limited
edition officially licensed collection, which
will be revealed and available to purchase via
the Jolie Beauty website, began on July 9th.
The company's bold artistic style with theatrical
gothic flair that has defined Ozzy's legendary
career. It's such an honor that Ozzy and his
team has chose to partner with us, especially
as an independently run brand from his home city,
said Jolie Cashmore, CEO of Jolie Beauty. I cried
because this is an absolute honor for me, said
Jolie. I am a lifelong Black Sabbath and Ozzy
Osbourne fan, and of course he's from Birmingham.
To be given this opportunity by Osbourne's team
is just a dream come true. I wonder if they sell
eyeliner. If you know, you know. This is Phineas
J. Baltar S. III. That has been your music news
for this evening. I have one burning question
for you all. Do people really skip around the
Maypole? Two douchebags, a microphone, and an
effort to keep everything fresh. We offer you
First World Problems. Man, my internet is so
slow. This is bullshit. How am I supposed to
browse or get on TikTok with slow internet? I'm
so pissed off right now. I don't know what to
do. Jamar Chase, what in the hell did you say
this time? This idea has worked out so well for
you in the past. Just go ahead, fat mouth one
of the all -time greatest quarterbacks in the
league ever. Your quote was, without Kelsey,
Mahomes is just another Kirk Cousins with a headband.
Well then, Mr. Chase. You should know Kirk Cousins
very well. You and him have the same amount of
rings. You remind us of a little lap dog nipping
at the heels of your daddy. And now, Deep Thoughts
with Mark. Man, I sure wish I was the garbage
man. You know what I could do if I was the garbage
man? I could go to the wrong parts of town on
the wrong days periodically. in the morning and
then watch everybody run out of their house in
their underwear with two bags of trash screaming,
stop, halt. Yeah, that's what I'd love to do.
Two douchebags and a microphone. I'm Mark here
in the Kansas City area at the Talk is Cheap.
And I am right at the beautiful Niagara Arm of
Lake of the Ozarks. And contrary to bleep, we
did not blow ourselves up this evening. We are
still here. And you also had a tornado today.
Did you know this? Yeah. Yeah. I took a nap through
it. It was a cold weather funnel, they say. But
they have some really good photos of it. Yeah,
I don't blame you. I would have taken a nap through
it, too. I did. I had a busy few days, but I
just took today and just relaxed. So you did
know that there was a funnel cloud there, right?
Yeah, I heard, but I haven't. Did the sirens
even bother to go off? I don't know. I don't
think they did. I'm in the bunker, man. Oh, yeah,
that's right. That's right. The safest place
there is, honestly. That's true. You're like,
hell yeah. Come on, tornado. You ain't touching
me, bitch. So. Yeah. That's cool. Good. Good.
So the Aussie big goodbye went on the 5th yesterday.
So. It was really cool. I got to see a lot of
it. I didn't get to see all of it, of course,
but I got to see a lot of it. And Jakey Lee was
there, present. And he played with Dave Ellison
of Megadeth. Ellison of Megadeth and Lizzie Hale.
And he also played with Dave Draymond of Disturbed,
I believe it was. Or no, it was. No, no, no,
no. It was from Pantera. Phil Ansamo, I believe,
sang Shot in the Dark while he played guitar.
And Jakey Lee did pretty well. I mean, you know,
he's older and has arthritis, admittedly, but
he did pretty well. And the whole thing went
off very well. And there's this big hubbub, Rob.
Everybody thought that Sabbath left Ozzy just
sitting there because, you know, he can't really
walk. You know, he has Parkinson's so bad in
his legs. He's sitting there on his throne and
they all walk off. Well. Whoever was doing the
video edited it, and it looked like they walked
off on Ozzy. And there's this huge hubbub. People
going, how could they disrespect the guy? Why
would they do that? What they did was they edited
out all of them going up and shaking his hand
and saying goodbye. And then Geezer Butler came
back and brought him a cake from all of them.
Yeah, see, I didn't see the cake, but I did see.
where tony went up to him and gave him a hug
and they spoke so yeah yeah well i guess on the
live feed um they didn't show that they they
didn't bother to put that in they cut it out
and everybody was like how dare they do that
to ozzy and it's like wait a minute, what the
fuck are you talking about? So then people that
were there that filmed the video while live,
they started sending it going, here, here's what
really happened, guys. Don't be all offended.
And, you know, and Ozzy, he is about ready to
cry and everybody else there was, there's people
out in the audience bawling. It was a really
good send off. My hope is, and a lot of people
are really pushing for this now, since Jake and
Ozzy seem to somewhat mended the, you know, their
rift, that maybe they can record another song
or two together. That would be excellent. I would
love to hear it. Do what? Well, there is rumor
that Ozzy said that he still plans on recording.
He does. Yeah, he did say that. He did say that.
I saw that in an interview. Yeah. He said his
goodbye is to touring. Or, you know, or live
shows. He can't do it anymore. You know, he can't
stand up. So. So, yeah, so that's what it is,
is that right there. It's just a goodbye to shows,
live shows. But he's still going to be recording.
And me, as well as a lot of other people, would
love to hear the new version of Jake and Ozzy.
We'd love to hear it. I mean, they put out some
good music before. And if they could figure it
out, it would be excellent. And I read up. I
thought this was pretty interesting. The reason
Jake got fired wasn't exactly what people thought.
I guess Phil Sousan, their bassist at the time,
and Randy Castillo was having problems with him.
They were having some personality conflicts.
And I guess some of it was over songwriting.
And Phil Sousan wanted to do more songwriting.
And kind of he didn't think that Jake was doing
very well writing songs or something. And he
was kind of edged out of the band from those
two. Randy Castillo, he passed away. I actually
have his autograph. He signed it Candy Restio.
Then I thought he was just stoned. But I found
out they do that. That way, you know, people
can't just come. You know, a lot of people don't
know he does that. And they'll come up with this
autograph. I know that's not true. Well, what
do you know? Well, he signs it the other way.
You know, like Nikki Sixx is Sickie Nicks when
he signs his. A lot of them do that. So anyhow,
I guess that them two in particular, which was
half of the band, didn't like Jake and his approach
to music. And they're kind of having like some
little square offs against each other. And so.
Sharon decided to let Jake go because of that.
And I didn't know. I thought it was something
completely different, like maybe it was over
royalties or something like that. But I guess
it started out like that. And then later on,
he didn't get some songwriting credits, probably
got screwed out of money. It sounds like allegedly
all this, you know, I wasn't there, of course,
so I don't know the full story. But that was
some of the story going around. And so it seems
to be a little bit different than I. And most
people I know have thought it was. So anyhow,
my apologies to Jake. I mean, you know, we're
over actually, you know, all of them because
I thought maybe Sharon was being shrewd. And
she might have. But anyhow. So anyhow, how was
your Fourth of July? Oh, it was really good.
Good. Friday night, we went over to my daughter's
and shot off the stuff my son bought. And then
last night, we went to the Lynn Creek Fireworks
show. Oh, cool. All of us. Yeah, a lot of family
time this week. Oh, that's good. Good. Fourth
of July, I just did work around the house. I
got so much stuff to do. Jumped up, cleaned the
pool out first thing in the morning, started
burning brush. I burned brush virtually all day.
Did some more work on the patio. Did some more
work on the back deck. I mean, I just got so
many things to do. But it was a great day because
I had an extra day off and I made the most of
it. And in the evening, I didn't go anywhere.
Val and I decided we just wasn't going to go
watch fireworks. We just decided we didn't care
enough at this point. So I just sat on the porch.
And plus, we had two big dogs cowering over it.
I mean, just freaking out. So we don't want to
leave them alone either. But I sat on the porch
and watched as good a display as you could see.
All of our neighbors are just going ballistic
with all of these fireworks. So, I barely had
to move a muscle to watch them. So, it was pretty
cool. So, I had a couple of pops in the pool
that day, too. It was great. So, anyhow. So,
okay. So, here's something I got here. Just for
the couple of people on Facebook that did not
get the memo. The only time you're allowed to
post fireworks to play pictures or videos is
when A. A person is getting a limb or a digit
blown off. Or B, a person has caught him or herself
on fire. No exceptions. Most people are bided
by the rules. Am I correct on this, Rob? Yes,
yes. We want to see the people that catch themselves
on fire. Yeah, or blowing a digit off. Everybody
knows what fireworks look like. You know what
they look like, right, Rob? Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
They go up and make noises and make colors in
the air and little flower -looking things and
booms and sizzles and whistles and all this stuff.
Hey, Lynn Creek had some that looked like hearts.
Oh, nice. All right. Yeah. Cool. Lynn Creek is
known as the love capital of the world, so you
know what? It is. Them and their big, bad Tesla
squad car. Yeah. Yeah. All right. So our two
big dogs, they get so. Oh, but anyhow, to cap
that off, only a couple of people abused it this
year. It's a lot more promising than it was last
year and the year before, because it seemed like
everybody seemed to think that nobody has ever
seen fireworks before and thought they would
take 10 minutes showing you exactly what their
fireworks display look like. I'll be like, I'll
be damned. That looks just like mine. Hey, were
you over it? No. Oh, OK. I guess they all look
alike then, don't they? Yeah, I guess so. Well,
hey, thanks for posting it, dickhead. So, anyhow,
only a couple people did it this time, and unfortunately,
I didn't see anyone getting their finger blown
off or nobody caught on fire, so I guess everybody
was relatively safe, right? Yeah. All right.
So, our two big dogs, they get so nervous when
the bombs and aerial bombs go off. The lab mix
foster and our cat, a hula tucker, both get freaked
out and nervous, so I decided to take them for
a ride. for a Dave's Double from Wendy's. This
was designed to maybe make them feel a little
bit more comfortable, you know. You take them
for a ride, you know. The two big dogs love rides
in the car. They just go nuts. They love it.
So they were all nervous that day. Everybody's
shooting off fireworks. I take them out there,
and I'm like, all right, I'll get them a cheeseburger,
you know, because that's what we usually do when
we take them to the vets. Rule of thumb is you
take them to the vets, you go get them a cheeseburger,
they're happy, everything's good, right? I get
a few doubles, not only for the two big guys,
but the pug and the chihuahua at home. And I
get to the window, and a lady pops out from the
back and asks how many fur babies I had in the
Jeep, right? I said two. She offers a chicken
nugget for each one. I say, yeah, they would
love it. The lady comes right back with two chicken
nuggets in her hand, right? I'm like, okay, cool,
that's no big deal. You know, they're for dogs.
You know, I don't expect them to be in a carton
or nothing. She's just giving them to the dogs,
right? I get the nuggets, and they were just
out of the fryer hot. I couldn't believe it.
I mean, my hand was fucking burning up, dude.
I quickly pitch one to Tucker in the front seat
and the other to Foster in the back seat. They
both wouldn't eat them yet. They had to let them
cool down a minute or so. You know, I want to
know. They did this so I proved, you know, the
dogs wouldn't touch them because it was too hot,
so I proved it wasn't just me, right? You know,
the dogs had to let them cool down as well. So
how in the world did the lady take these two
chicken nuggets, scorching hot, in her hands
with just latex gloves on? You know, latex does
nothing about the temperature. Everything's just
as hot, if maybe not even a little bit hotter,
because it kind of goes into that plastic and
kind of intensifies. So, you know, I'm looking
in there to see if, like, maybe, you know, it
was a joke or something. No. She honestly gave
these two of my dogs to eat. Did she not have
feeling in her hands? It was the weirdest thing.
I'm like, how in the hell could this lady grab
these two chicken nuggets? It looked like straight
out of the fryer basket to give to the dogs,
which was a very nice thing. It was very nice
of her, right? But they were scorching hot. They
just came out of the grease. And she just casually
walks them over there in her hands, hands them
to me, and I'm like, ah! And I toss them to the
dogs, and they, like, kind of get their nose
near me, like, ah, nope, that's too hot, and
they waited. I don't know. Maybe she didn't have
feeling in her hands. I don't know. Weird deal.
You would have been weirded out, too, Rob. You'd
have been like, what the hell? She just walked
over there like nothing. You know, like these
weren't hot at all. So, anyhow. Yeah, so anyhow.
Well, dude, we used to stick our hands in the
briars at Jess and Jeff's. Yeah, this is true.
This is true. And you know what? You do build
up a tolerance for heat. You're right. Because
we're always touching hot plates accidentally,
touching the grill accidentally, all this stuff.
You're right. You know, dishes coming out of
the dishwasher, scorching hot. You're right.
So I guess maybe she built up a tolerance and
probably just didn't realize she was giving me
scorching hot. chicken nuggets. So anyhow, it
was just weird. I'm just sitting there going,
Hmm, this is fucked up. But anyhow, dogs ate
them eventually and they still got their double.
So, and, and it calmed them down for a few hours,
but then that night they're freaking out and
my Labrador mix, he jumps up on the bed and will
not leave. I'm just like, I'm just like, they're
in the corner going, okay, I get it. You're scared.
So anyhow, so On a different note, I'm getting
to where I need to look up how to shuffle the
parody bits we have. I'm getting to where there's
so many of them that it's taken me entirely too
long to edit a show. You know, I have to a lot
of times listen to the bit I'm wanting to insert
because I can't remember it by the name that
I tagged to it. You know, I think I'd be like,
oh, okay, I'll put Funny Volume 2. And then when
I get to it a few months later, I don't remember
what it is. And I wanted to hear it just to make
sure that it's good and it isn't something I
kind of worked on and forgot, right? So I know
there's a way to shuffle this stuff on the Audio
Tonic and all that when I edit a show. I've got
to figure out how to do it. It would be a fantastic
feature if I just took all the bits that were
ready and I just hit shuffle and it had inserted
them for me, you know. But I know there's a way
to do it. I've got to look it up on YouTube.
But I would save so much time because now, I
mean, it should only take me like 20 minutes
to edit a show and put all the stuff in there
and the beginning and the ending. But it's taken
up to two hours sometimes because I'm like, oh,
what's this one? I wonder what it is. It's from
like three years ago, and I'm trying to think.
Oh, yeah, yeah, I remember that one. Some of
them I'm not real proud of, so I don't want them
going in circulation again, right? So it's taking
me too long. I need to, like, go through there.
And all the ones that are half -assed, just erase
them because I got so many of them. And then
the other ones, maybe put more of a descriptive
title on them or find a way to shuffle all the
good ones, and then it just does it for me. So
I'll let you know because I know that's kind
of like a me thing that I'm worried about, but,
I mean, it's just like... because if it's an
old one, I put in a couple that weren't finished,
and it just sucks, because people don't know
where you're going with it. You know, I'm sure
you've heard them, right? A couple of them that
just didn't make sense. Yeah. Yeah, those were
unfinished ones that I thought were, and stuff
like that. So, anyhow, my Falstaff sign is flickering
pretty badly. So it had this fluorescent light
bulb. It gave out a few months ago, and I went
to get a replacement one. But what the problem
is, the bulb was altered just slightly over the
years to where the bulb for the sign fits, but
not too snug, making the light flicker. So I'm
not sure what I can do about it because they
don't sell the same exact fluorescent light bulb,
right? So this one, it fits, but if I'm holding
it in place, it fits. Or if I just set it in
the corner, it fits. But when I go to mount it
back to the wall... it doesn't fit good enough,
and it'll flicker, go off, come on, be bright,
be dim, and all that stuff. I don't know what
to do about it. Could you shove a little something
in there to kind of tighten it up a little bit?
I tried to, but I can't figure out exactly how
to do it. I even tried a pair of needle nose.
You don't want anything to catch on fire either.
No, I know. That's part of the problem is I can't
put paper in there. So I don't know what to do.
Something just to snug it up a little bit. Hold
it. Yeah, because that Falstaff sign is a big
part of this room. I mean, it is. Do what? Tape.
You know, maybe I could use some sort of a fireproof
tape. They do make fireproof tape. That's a good
idea. I'll let you know if it works. You know,
I mean, and the other thing is, is if I turn
it a certain way, it fits a little bit better,
but it acts like a strobe light. And you know
how that is. You can't get anything done with
a strobe light. I mean, it's just, it constantly
fucks with you. So, anyhow. And did you notice
an uptick in fireworks this year, Rob? Yes. Oh,
I shared a video on Facebook. This guy caught...
Good view of Lake of the Ozarks down the main
channel. Oh, I'll have to look. All the fireworks
going off there. Wow, that's cool. I'll have
to look at that. That's cool. I know the lake
always. I mean, everybody that owns a house or
a dock there are just shooting them off all night.
So that's cool. Yeah, and a lot of these places
have shows, you know? Like... Margaritaville,
I'm sure. Margaritaville and all them. Lodge
of the Four Seasons. A lot of places like that
I do shows. Oh, yeah. I forgot about Lodge of
the Four Seasons. There's a lot of money down
here. Yeah, there is. There's a lot of money
down here. There is a lot of money down there.
A lot more than anyone that's not from there.
It's everybody's favorite holiday here. It is.
It's right in the stroke of summer, right in
the heart of summer. It's hotter than hell. And
everybody's at the lake partying because they
at least got a three -day weekend, if not more.
So, yeah, it's a good old America, drink beer
and shoot your fucking arm off holiday. Doesn't
get better. Doesn't get better. So, I mean, I
was wondering, did the price of fireworks go
down or did people just go stir crazy because
they hadn't done it freely for a few years because
of COVID or what have you? Or inflation? I don't
know. I know my son bought like $280 worth. Yeah,
that's what I'm talking about. Yeah, and he got
a pretty good deal, I thought. Maybe the price
of them went down enough. I didn't buy any. I
didn't either. My kids are grown. I don't have
to buy them. Same here. I don't have to buy them.
There's not a kid around that's dependent on
me for any type of display. So it's cool. I just
hand my daughter. A little bit of money to get
my grandson. Yeah, that's different. I get that.
It's kind of like, hey, show the little squirt
there what fireworks are. He's going to need
to know this. This is very important. Cool. I
bet the price went down enough to where people
are comfortable buying a shit ton of them again.
Even the younger generation that I didn't think
gave a shit about fireworks, I've seen a bunch
of younger people out there shooting the piss
out of them, too. Have you? Yeah. Yeah, it didn't
seem like... It's like there was a major explosion,
literally, you know? Yeah. Yeah, and this year
in particular. Maybe they're cheaper, and then
also maybe things are getting far enough away
from COVID and all the weirdness that... The
economy. The economy. Yeah, that could be a big
part of it right there. So on another note, I've
been getting loincloth ads on my social media,
Rob, because I talk about it so much to you.
You what? I've been getting loincloth ads, for
real. Really? Yeah, because I talk about it virtually
every episode. I give you some sort of shit about
your loincloth, right? Yeah. Yeah. No, I have
not gotten any ads. I'll be damned. I might be
able to get you a deal, Rob. I got like three
of them the other day. Personalized loincloths
and all kinds. I'm like, your phone's listening
to you. If anyone thinks your phone does not
listen to you, you are wrong. Your phone listens
to you. I guarantee it. I never had a loincloth
ad ever, ever before. And now I'm getting them
because I'm giving Rob shit about it all the
time. So anyhow, and I know I'm jotting around
today, but Guns N' Roses, they took hours rehearsing
Sabbath, Bloody Sabbath. That was almost the
price of admission to the tickets because the
tickets were astronomical and extremely rare
to get. But on the live stream, Guns N' Roses
did Sabbath, Bloody Sabbath, and they did it
so good. Did you see any of that? No, I did not
see it. I was flipping on coin on whether to
rent it or not. I have had such a busy weekend.
I knew I would not have time to watch it. No,
that's why I didn't. That's why I didn't. It
would be a waste of money. Same here. I woke
up this morning and boom, it's all over Facebook.
Yes. Metal Hammer had videos. Yeah, there was
like four videos. I saw one on Facebook. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. So, I mean, I didn't have to buy
it, but I'm the same way with you. I had to work
that day. And I was like, you know, I'll never
get to watch it all. I mean, the thing is like,
I don't know, 12 hours long. And it's like, there's
no way I would be able to watch it all like you.
So I opted not to buy it. But I saw that one
video in particular. I read online that Guns
N' Roses wanted to do Sabbath Bloody Sabbath,
which is such a unique song. That riff, everything.
And Ozzy's voice on it. I mean, it's such a great
song. And then Guns N' Roses did it. If you have
a minute to look it up, look it up. It's worth
it. I'll tell you what. I could have bought that
live stream, and that song right there would
have been worth that $29 .99. They hit it perfectly.
But Guns N' Roses do stuff like that. Whenever
they hit something perfectly, they hit it. Head
on. I mean, they're really good at cover songs
whenever they're feeling it. And then finally
on this, Lizzy Hale played at Ronnie James Dio's
final concert and now at Ozzy's final concert.
She feels extremely blessed to be one of the
few people that got to do that. I thought that
was cool. She was almost in tears. She was like,
you know, these are... You're talking two of
the biggest influences in hard rock, heavy metal
ever. Had their own genres. You know, iconic.
And she got to play at both of their last shows.
And I was just like, you know, that's something
to say. And Lizzy Hill is so good, too. I mean,
she took the throne and did it her way. And she
is not just someone that's just like, oh, I think
I'm going to try metal. She lived it. She loves
it. She knows it. She breathes it. She bleeds
it. And I was so glad to hear her do The Ultimate
Sin. And it was Phil Ansamo did Shot in the Dark
with Jakey Lee. Look that up. It's worth the
price of admission. I heard that they did it
together. I read that they did it together. Big
bad Phil Ansamo, Pantera. Fucking walk. You talking
to me? Yeah. He sings Shot in the Dark. But you
can tell the guy's an Ozzy fan because of the
way he sings it. He knew it. He knew it well.
He knew it back and forth. He knew it sideways.
Very cool. Very cool. Well, I mean, Pantera did,
but he wasn't in the band at that time. Pantera
did start off as a glam band. That was not with
Phil Ansamo. But it was great. And hearing Jakey
Lee and just seeing him up there playing, he
was having a blast. He had a huge smile on his
face. This thing was, this is one of the few
things that was actually better than what it
was dubbed. And that's hard to do. Because most
things like this, huge, oh my God, you don't
want to miss it. And then it's a big psst, nothing.
This, was dubbed huge, and it delivered, and
then some. Great send -off for Ozzy. Everybody
got to go hug him. Everybody got to talk to him.
Everybody got to do their salute to him and show
their appreciation. It could not have been better.
Could not have been better. Unless someone figured
out how to cure Parkinson's. That's the only
way it could get better. But anyhow, Rob, I'm
done with that first part there. Go ahead. The
floor is yours, please. Well, actually, I'm going
to go into a couple things here. One quick one.
Okay. Since we're on the Aussie thing, about
an hour ago, I was flipping through Chrome stories
and stuff, and I ran across a YouTube video.
And I shared it on my... on my Facebook page
if you want to watch. Dude, you got to watch
this. I'll watch it. Yeah, what it's called,
it's called Jack Black featuring Roman Morello,
Ian, Yoyoka Soma, and Hugo Weiss. I saw it. Those
four boys are like 14, 15 years old. And Jack
Black. And they do a cover of Mr. Crowley. Oh
my God, dude. Oh, my God. I saw that. That even
sounds like Ozzy. I saw that at work. It just
came out today. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I was like,
I forgot to mention that. Yeah, I was floored,
dude. Yeah. I was like, holy shit. It sounds
like Ozzy. Yeah. Yeah. And Jack Black was doing
it School of Rock fashion. I mean, with the youngsters.
Yeah. And Jack Black was there, too. Yeah, it
was pretty cool, man. It was cool. I could not
agree more, Rob. I'm glad you mentioned that.
I forgot about it. I forgot to mention it. Yeah.
Anybody out there, if you're interested, listen
to it. It's great. Watch the video. Yes. Now
I'm going to go into a story I ran across on
Blabbermouth. All right. It must be metal then.
The first trailer for the highly anticipated
feature film Wind of Change. which recently started
production at Warner Brothers Studio Leaviston
in London, is available. Dominique West, The
Crown, Alexander Dryman, The Last Kingdom, Ludwig
Tripp, Generation War, Ed Spielers, You, David
Cross, The Reader, and Luke Brandon Field, Interview
with the Vampire, Jojo Rabbit. Okay, personally,
I don't know any of these people. These are,
that's the actors that are going to be in this.
They've been cast in lead roles. Okay. It's being
produced by ESX Entertainment with Fox Entertainment
Studios in association with Warner Brothers Home
Entertainment. Wind of Change is a music biopic
chronicling the incredible journey of legendary
rock group the Scorpions. with the longest -running
and most successful lineup of the band, including
guitarists Rudolf Schenker, Klaus Mayn, Matthias
Jabs, and drummer Hermann Werbel. It tells the
story of a band united with their passion for
music who sought to inspire change in the world
through their powerful sound and meaningful lyrics.
At the heart of the film was their iconic anthem.
wind of change which became the soundtrack to
the end of the cold war symbolizing hope peace
and unity with a music with hits ranging from
rocky like a hurricane to still loving you the
scorpions help bridge the divide between east
and west but leaving a indelible mark on history
proving the transformation power of art west
is set to play Doc McGee, the Scorpion's famous
music manager. Cross will star as Adrej, the
band's imprisoned friend, on the other side of
the Berlin Wall. Very cool. I'm going to have
to see that. You know who loved the song When
to Change, don't you remember? Yes, I do. That's
why you brought it up, isn't it? Yeah, John,
this is for you, bro. Love you. Every time I
hear that song, I look up and say, hi, John.
Oh, I'm sure John's already seen it. John is
Mort's brother. Yep. He passed seven years ago.
Yep, yeah, yep. Dear friend of mine, too. Yep,
oh, he loved you. So, and I do, too. But, I mean,
yeah, he thought a lot of you like I did. So,
yep. Yeah, John probably already watched it,
don't you think? Yes. Yes. Well, that's cool.
He's watched it. Yeah, he probably was. He's
like, ha ha, you fuckers can't watch this. Until
later. That's cool. Thanks for cluing us in on
that. I didn't know. That was very cool. Let's
see. What was I going to say? Shit, I forgot.
I had something I was going to add to that, but
I can't. Oh, well, you know what? It must have
been a lie. I can't remember. Damn it. It is
bothering me, though. I can't remember what it
was. All right. Well, let's take our first break.
I got a couple of emails here. You want me to
do that when we get back? Sure. And then we got
a top seven, don't we? Yeah, we do. Yep. Have
some ass paddlers if we get to them also. We'll
see. All right. We'll be right back. Well, it's
because Harambe is dead. Senselessly murdered
because some idiot did not watch her child properly
while looking on her phone. Sadly, Harambe does
not listen to our original show, Two Gibshits
and the Cheap Radio Shedack Realistic Take Recorder,
or any other show. Anymore. Sorry, Harambe. Ms.
Gulkenstein was tired of Mark and Toe for making
sport of her. Little did the douchebags know
Ms. Gulkenstein was a voodoo high priestess when
she was younger. She grew angry. and cast a spell
on Rob, changing Rob into a capuchin monkey.
Mark took Rob to a local zoo so he could be with
the other monkeys. Here are the adventures of
Rob, the capuchin monkey. Shh, be very quiet.
We're going to listen in as Rob, the capuchin
monkey, tries to sell the rest of the capuchin
monkeys Amway. Rob has always dreamed of becoming
a diamond status Amway as a capuchin monkey.
Little did our hero Rob know. All the great apes
owned stock in Sam's Club and became violently
pissed off when he tried to infringe on their
territory. They promptly grabbed switches and
beat his ass for three days straight. Rob could
not sit down. Hi there. This is your ears. Why
are you listening to this garbage? I thought
we were friends. So you want proof that we love
you here at Q -Douche Bates and Microphone Central?
Here's a proof right here. How about the drink
of the week? How to make the famous Carnival
Cruise Line Miami Vice frozen drink. Two ounces
Bacardi one, seven ounces frozen pina colada
mix, three ounces strawberry daiquiri mix, half
a hurricane glass of ice. Blend it all together
and serve with a slice of pineapple and a maraschino
cherry on top. Bam, there you go. Miami Vice,
Carnival style. Two loose bags of microphone
in an effort to keep everything fresh. We offer
you first world problems. I can't believe the
coffee grinder is broke at the big box store.
There's no way I can be expected to grind my
coffee beans every damn morning. Your mama's
so fat, she uses Google Earth to take a selfie.
Next up, things overheard in hell. Howard Stern
just signed a 10 -year contract extension. Mankind,
are we predisposed to violence? There have been
close to 8 ,700 wars from 3 ,200 B .C. to 2 ,000
A .D. Some studies suggest there might even have
been over 100 ,000 wars over the history of the
Earth. A clue may lie in the study of rats. yes
i said rats a social isolation study has shown
that social isolation in rats can increase aggressive
behavior rats exhibit higher levels of aggression
when exposed to stressful situations stress can
lead to increased anxiety -like behaviors and
trigger the release of stress hormones which
can contribute to aggressive actions one well
-known study universe twenty five by john calhoun
involved housing rats in a utopian environment
with unlimited resources except for space. As
the population grew and became overcrowded, the
rats exhibited increased violence, abnormal social
behaviors, and neglect or attack of their young.
Genetic Factors Some studies suggest a link between
inborn anxiety levels and aggression. Rats with
extreme levels of anxiety have been shown to
display higher aggression, including abnormal
aggressive behavior like attack in vulnerable
body parts. Dopamine and Serotonin Aggression
in rats is linked to changes in neurotransmitter
systems, particularly dopamine and serotonin.
These studies have shown that winning aggressive
encounters can increase dopamine turnover in
the nucleus accumbens. which is associated with
reward, additionally low serotonin levels have
been linked to aggressive behavior. Intruder
slash social defeat. Introducing an unfamiliar
rat into an established group can cause aggression,
particularly when the intruder is perceived as
a threat. Studies have also shown that aggressive
rats may exhibit reduced activity in the frontal
lobe of the brain and increased levels of aggression.
Two douchebags and a microphone. I'm Mark here
in the Kansas City area at the Talk is Cheap
studio. And I am Rob at the beautiful Nangle
Arm of Lake of the Ozarks in the Duck Blind studio.
Yes, I'm back in the studio. Very cool. Although,
I'm going to have to start all over on it. My
son took his furniture out of here when we moved
into the apartment upstairs on the 4th. uh -huh
so i'm gonna have to start all over which is
fine because i came up with a lot better design
oh cool kind of like a lot more space yeah that's
interesting i did that the other day and i got
a lot more room in here too i'll have to like
get some new picks like i said i'm gonna get
the guitar closer to me to where at any time
i can rip out a chord and just piss everybody
off Yeah, I'd like to hear it strummed. Yeah,
yeah, why not? I mean, it's right here. I got
a couple of Marshalls that'll do the job. I got
a Fly MV. Should work fine. I remember what I
was going to say. Okay, Rudolph Shankner does
not get enough credit, in my opinion, and his
brother Michael Shankner, who's just hailed as
one of the greatest guitarists ever, gets too
much credit. That's what I've always felt. You
feel the same way? I totally agree with that.
I mean, everybody hears about Rudolph. Or Michael.
Michael, not Rudolph. Yeah, Rudolph is fucking
awesome, man. He's responsible for some of these
great licks and solos and everything. And I think
most people probably agree with that. I mean,
Michael Shankner, yeah, he was good in UFO and
all that. But I never saw... anything to me that
indicated he was so much better than rudolph
so and they hate each other by the way did you
know that yes yes yes i did yeah i haven't spoke
to each other in a long time pretty bizarre all
right i got some emails here hey deuce bags oh
what i just said all right oh okay you know i
can't hear so um Hey, douchebags. I just found
out how to get Alexa to fetch your podcast. I
tried it just saying, play two douchebags and
microphone, and she wouldn't retrieve your show.
But then I reworded it to, Alexa, play two douchebags
and microphone podcast, and she did. Just thought
you would want to know. Mitzi and Oak Grove.
It worked for about one day. And now it's not
working again. I don't know what you got to do.
I don't know. I got it to do it one day only.
And then Mitzi and Oak Grove got it to do it
too. So something's going on. Then my cousin
in Canada. I would say you definitely have to
listen to or add a podcast. I did. Like I did
on the front of the truck. I put podcasts on
him. That way everybody knows it's a podcast.
Yeah. Well, there's something. I'll figure it
out. But anyhow, my cousin tried to up in Canada,
too, and it wouldn't load for him either. So,
I don't know. We'll figure it out. So, yeah,
Mitzi, thank you. We'll figure it out. But I
didn't know that. I didn't know Alexa would play
us. Did you? No, I didn't either. Cool. Thanks,
Alexa. A friend of mine asked about Siri, and
I said, Siri's a retard. Fuck him. So, anyhow.
All right. Hey, Dick, stop with the Chiefs talk.
Marvin and Jonesboro. No. You got anything to
add to that, Rob? Not really. Okay. I think he's
talking about the sports bastards, probably.
Right. Well, being in Jonesboro, who do you root
for? Maybe the Titans. Maybe the Titans. Yeah,
but I can't cities closer. I don't know what
the fuck the deal is, but Marvin don't have a
team anymore. Marvin don't listen to us ever
again. I hate you. No, I don't know. Yes. They
lose. Don't have a team. No, we're not going
to stop the chief's talk. Sorry. Our home is
in Kansas city. Yes. Yep. Just like every show
of this one, Two Douchebags Microphone starts
off with We Talk, Kansas City. Because of old
KY, we're paying homage to KY -102. Their big
tagline for years was KY -102, We Rock, Kansas
City. Well, that's a little play on it. And we
do something that sounds kind of like their old
promo. Just a thank you and a nod to those guys.
You know, love them. Chiefs Talk. It's just part
of it, man. We're a Kansas City show. And we
have listeners everywhere that deal with it.
All right. Next one. Rob, I knitted you a special
loincloth with the Fuckhammer initials. I can't
wait for the pics. Mitch and South Central Freeman
Rule Volunteer Fire Department Fuckhammer Division.
Man, you and Mitch. Cool. My hunt for a new loincloth.
Over. Thank you, Mitch. You and Mitch are getting
really good on this bromance stuff. I'm starting
to feel slighted. I don't know what to do. I'm
starting to feel a little uncomfortable. It seems
like he's sliding in there and you're kicking
me out, Rob. No, no, no. Hey, don't worry. I've
never met him in person. Okay. We're still good.
Okay. All right. Don't worry. All right. All
right. You'll always be me and you. Okay. All
right. Okay. Just thought I'd air my feelings
out. All right. Thank you. Mitch, you're awesome.
Got him a loincloth. A fuckhammer and a loincloth.
Yes, I can't wait. He just will not drop a fuckhammer.
Only on two douchebags and a microphone, you
hear two guys airing out their emotions. Yes.
He will not stop with the fuckhammer stuff either.
I love it. All right, Mitch, we love you. Keep
them coming. Hey guys, I'm back in Tulsa. I had
a wonderful mini vacay. I had a chance to listen
to a shit ton of other podcasts. Like I suspected,
you two are the best. I will be back and mailing
you in full force next week. Talk soon, my friends.
Ronnie and Tulsa, the Tulsa King. Well, Ronnie,
we're glad you're back and we're glad you had
a great relaxing vacation. You deserve one. Yes.
And we're going to have your top seven concerts
because we don't mind doing them over for you.
Actually, I changed mine around a little bit.
I did, too. I did, too. So it's perfect, Ronnie.
We appreciate it. Like always, you deliver. Ronnie
is royalty. Thank you, Ronnie. We appreciate
everything you do and you just constantly listening
and downloading us and being a fan. We love you.
I want to meet him in person, though, and we
may make that happen. We've been talking about
it. Yeah. All right. Let's see. Where was I here?
Okay, there's Ronnie. Okay, Mark, what's your
best rice pudding recipe? Willie and Montrose.
Okay, add two pounds of rice to boiling hot water.
Take five pieces of vinyl flooring. Cut it into
bite -sized squares. and then add it to the rice
and water mixture and serve with an old sock
as a garnish. Sound about right, Rob? Yeah. There
you go. There's your fucking rice pudding. They
didn't leave a name. Whoever the... Oh, no, no,
no. They did. Willie and Montrose. Willie? Yeah,
Willie. Glad to hear from you. I can't believe
he's still listening. I know. Number one, we
dumped Montrose. Number two, we made fun of him
for a little while there. So, Willie, thank you.
Welcome back, or if you ever did go. Hey, it's
not Willie's fault they got rid of the power
player. No, and that's why we've never held it
against Willie. We still love Willie. We may
have made a little sport of him, you know, that
and the extension cord, you know, and all that.
But, you know. I mean, you've got to do something
for the show, right? You've got to make something,
right? So we made a little thing like that. We
made a little ha -ha out of Willie, but we love
him. And I hope you enjoy your rice pudding recipe.
We do that all the time, don't we, Rob? That's
how we make ours? Yeah, yeah. That's how my mama
made hers. Yep, yep. That's how Mark's mama did
his, too. So there you go. All right. The Encore
has a website with all the concerts for the summer
on it. Don't know if you all knew that. Enjoy.
Frida and Sunrise Beach. Do you know any Fridas
and Sunrise? No, I do not. Frida, Rob's right
around the corner, man. Why don't you take him
down to Encore? Oh, man. My next story is about
Sunrise Beach. Is it really? Okay. Yes, yes.
A friend of mine posted something on Facebook
about this story. And I commented. I said, should
I make them famous on the podcast? She goes,
yeah, do it. So, yeah. All right. Sorry. Sorry.
That's the end of the email. There's news down
here. That's the end of the email. So go ahead,
Rob. And then we can go into the top seven. All
right. That's the end of the email, so you can
go ahead with that story, and then we'll go into
the top seven concerts. All right. Okay, go ahead.
This is for Frida in Sunrise Beach. Yes, yes.
A Sunrise Beach police officer is charged along
with his girlfriend after they're arrested with
methamphetamine. Peter Fox, 52, and Candelaria
Stacy, 45, of Sunrise Beach, were arrested on
the evening of July 1st after they were stopped
by a deputy with the Mid -Missouri Drug Task
Force while driving through their hometown. The
deputy reported the pair were acting suspicious,
including providing inconsistent statements.
During a search of Fox's vehicle, the deputy
seized about four grams of methamphetamine and
drug paraphernalia, as well as two loose pills
later identified as benzodiazepine. The Sunrise
Beach Police Department reports Fox has been
terminated as a result of this incident. Both
Fox and Stacy are charged with two counts each
of possession. of a controlled substance. Wow.
They want to be, yeah, stopped in their own hometown.
He's a police officer there. And I went on Facebook
when there was a lot of comments and people were
saying, thank God, you know, get these corrupt
officers out of here. Yeah. What's the new police
force? over elections they have weeded out some
bad ones frida i wonder if you knew this or not
frida email us back for you to let us know very
good good they're doing it they're doing a big
crackdown on yeah a police officer that's the
kind of person you not need in law enforcement
Oh, speaking of law enforcement and stuff like
that, I forgot the particulars, but Johnny Dare
has a ride coming up for the EMT that was killed,
shot and killed up here, I don't know, a few
weeks ago. Oh, good, good. It's the 30th, and
they're starting it maybe. I forgot where they're
starting at. You can look it up online, okay?
I'm sorry I don't have it, but a friend of mine
shared it, and I didn't get a chance. Johnny
Dare has a video, and he's speaking about it.
And so just look it up, the ride for the EMT
that was killed from Johnny Dare, and it's a
very good thing that he's doing. It's a benefit
for, of course, his family and a tribute to this
man that lost his life doing public service,
helping people. And so Johnny is a great part
of the community, and we appreciate him still
doing stuff like that. And whenever I make fun
of Laszlo and stuff like that, listen, I mean.
They're okay for a morning show. Like I said,
I made peace with it and all that. And, you know,
and they make me chuckle a little bit, which
is about all I can expect anymore. The thing,
the big thing that they're missing is stuff like
this that Johnny Dare has done routinely. All
of his charity work and all that. And so, you
know, that's something you can't really replace.
So anyhow, look up Johnny Dare on this ride.
So anyhow, do you want to get to our top seven?
Sure. All right. You go first. All right. My
top seven favorite concerts. My number seven,
Hank Williams Jr. at Sandstone. Solid. That was
his first time coming back to Kansas City after
being kicked out of Kansas City. Yep, very famously.
Yeah. And coming in at number six, my most recent
concert, Kentucky Headhunters opening for Ozark
Mountain Daredevils. Cool. So Kentucky Headhunters
is what you're talking about being the sixth
best? No, no, actually the whole show. The whole
show, okay. Yeah, yeah, Kentucky Headhunters
opening for Ozark Mountain Daredevils. Okay.
That whole show. That whole show, okay. The whole
show was great. Good. My number five, Shooting
Star at Volley's up in St. Joseph, Missouri.
That would have been interesting. I think it
was like 2000, 2001 maybe. Yeah, Volley's is
a volleyball bar, and they had a state set up.
Shooting Star rode up on their motorcycles. We
sat in our lawn chairs in the sand. Van McLean
threw his pick from Last Chance to me. I still
have that pick. Fucking awesome. It's lost the
lettering that said Shooting Star Band on it,
but I still have it. That's cool. You know what
it is. Yeah, yeah. My number four, Sticks and
Forner here at Ozark Vampire Theater. That would
have been in the 2000s. Very cool. Only because
I got to see Jason Baum. He was playing drums
for Foreigner. Oh, he did for a little while.
I forgot. Yes, he did. Okay. My number three,
another shooting star concert. It was New Year's
93 going into 94 at Memorial Hall in Kansas City,
Kansas. And Berger and Shipley opened for him.
Nice. That was a really good concert. Celebrating
New Year's. I bet it was. Yeah. And then my,
actually my first concert, March of 1986, the
Hooters opened up for Loverboy. An 11 -hour minute
tour. Oh, nice. Yeah. I actually got off working.
Justin Jens that night because I bought tickets.
Oh, wow. Cool. Very cool. Yeah. And my number
one, I've got to go with August 25th, 2000, Kiss
Fair Will Tour at Sandstone. Very cool. That
was your number one last time, too, wasn't it?
Yeah, yeah. Well, it was on my mama and Gene
Simmons' birthday. Oh, wow. One of them's birthday
is August 25th. Very cool. Yeah. Very cool. All
right. Thank you, Rob. Number seven. And mine,
quite a few of these are completely different
because I start, my memory comes in blocks, you
know. And when I did the last list, I'd forgotten
a lot of these, and I just had some of them come
to me just doing this. So, anyhow. Number seven.
sabbath the end at t -mobile uh my bro my nephew
um jc um davey um all went to this concert i
actually won tickets i already had two tickets
bought me and davey were going and i won tickets
for all of us and um and so um i I had my brother
and my nephew. And actually, Davey wasn't even
going either, thinking about it. I was actually
going with another friend from work, but we're
going to meet there. And anyhow, I couldn't find
him anywhere. The crowd was huge. And I won these
tickets right before. And it was from an internet
radio station called KNAC, like the legendary
one out of Los Angeles. It took to the internet
years after that. And I won them through them,
and they transferred the tickets to me via email.
I got the tickets at the Will Call window, and
I gave one to my brother, one to JC, and one
to Davey. And it was great because we got to
do the old shenanigans. You know, JC had a couple
of beers there, right? So guess what? He had
to piss on the way home, right? So guess what
we did? We wouldn't let him out of the car. You
know that old gag. We used to do that to everybody.
Feed them full of liquor and then they go, hey,
stop. I got to piss. No. What do you mean no?
I'll piss myself. Go ahead. We're not stopping.
And so finally we make him wait for about. We
wouldn't either. I know. No, no. We have people
just in agony. BJ, we ran him around for three
hours one night. He's about ready to cry. So.
So anyhow, JC, my nephew, we would not let him
get out. And we drove him around for an hour.
And then finally we wanted to go to Updown, which
is this arcade pinball place, huge place, downtown
Kansas City. We decided we wanted to go there,
play some pinball, drink some beers and some
Pac -Man or something. So then when we got there,
he got to go piss. But he was grumbling pretty
good. He wasn't used to that treatment. We worked
him over good. And then Davey, he had to piss
inside the concert, but he didn't want to miss
a concert. So he's like whispering to me, but,
you know, couldn't really hear it that well.
But he goes, Mark, I got a piss. I'm like, okay,
so? He goes, no, stand in front of me. So, you
know, there's a crowd all around us, right? So
I'm standing just enough to where he can, and
he takes his jacket, and he puts it between me
and him, and he kind of shrouds it around him,
and he takes a piss right there on the floor,
right there where he's standing. So the people
in front of us, they had their jackets on the
floor. All of us pissed, ran down and just fucking
soaked into their jackets because this is like
midway through the concert. I could not believe
it. So I'm like, Davey, we got to get out of
here pretty fucking soon. You know, I don't know,
but they might think we pissed. Even though he
did do it, I was like, man, we got to get the
fuck out of here. So we got out of there just
as soon as the song was almost over the encore.
And so I imagine they're pretty fucking pissed
off when they picked up their jacket and got
ready to leave. So, yeah, that was one of those
nights. It was fun. Number six would be Ronnie
James Dio at the Lone Star. And I think I told
you about that. That was just a complete accident.
Me and Davey are just going to go down there
and have some beers and see whatever band was
there. And right behind him, we're standing there,
and we see this. Flyer. Ronnie James Dio. Wednesday
night. Wednesday night. Oh, yeah. Wednesday night
is Xerox night. Oh, shit. That's tonight. So
we're getting in free anyhow because Davey knew
Johnny Dare pretty well at the time. They used
to hang out. And I lost my license for a little
while because I drove very stupidly. I had him
vouch for me, Johnny. I asked him. I called down
there. He said, yeah, he's very nice. He said
he is going to. And he got us in for free at
the Lone Star forever. So we got into Dio's concert
at the Lone Star for free. So we're up there
watching it. And it's funny. There's like 10
of us. And we're giving him the devil horns right
next to his face. Because you know the stage
wasn't that tall at the Lone Star. It was just
right there. And we're like, ugh! If Ronnie James
Dio is like all fucking getting all silly and
running off and stuff. I mean, it's funny. I
wish I had video of it. So, okay. Number five,
Kiss. End of the road at T -Mobile. That thing
was just fantastic. And the reason it's fantastic
is because there was so much money put into it.
I mean, just all these booms. glitter and fucking
everything. Man, I don't know how much they spent
on their show, but that was the best damn road
show you could ever see. I mean, it was just
crazy. Yeah, I wished it was Ace. Yeah, I wished
it was Peter, but it was still a fantastic fucking
show because of all of the get out they put on
it. I mean, it was just, they went above, beyond,
and over. What a show. So, um, number four, Aerosmith
with Guns N' Roses at Sandstone, 1988. What a
show. What an ass bang. That would have been
a good one. Oh, that was an ass. Guns N' Roses
come out with so much attitude, it was insane.
They were sleazy, and they were pissed off, and
they didn't care. It was great. They were young.
Yeah, they were young. They were really just
fucking brutal. They had their fire. They still
had their fire. They did. They did. It was easy
to see. And Aerosmith came and brought it, too.
Aerosmith did fine. But Guns N' Roses was a new
kid, and they were fucking, they were punching
out everybody they could. It was excellent. So,
number three, Ozzy, No More Tears, Lamping, Missouri,
Alice in Chains opening. That's a famous story.
All the hill rods fucking jumping off that 50
-foot cliff to get to the premium seats. Half
of them made it. Half of them went out in a stretcher.
Nuff said. It was fucking fantastic. I was getting
mad because I couldn't watch a concert because
there's another Hill Jack fucking jumping. And
I had to turn around and watch. And I say this
lovingly. I grew up in the sticks. Hill Jacks,
Hill Rods, love you. I'm one of you. So, don't
get mad at me. I live in Lake of the Ozarks.
Come on. I call you Hill Rods. Yes. So, if you
got a little thing over there. Act like one.
We're going to call you one. Exactly. Lovingly,
though, right? Yes, yes. Okay. Lovingly. Yes.
That makes all the difference in the world. All
right, number two, Wasp. Opening up for Kiss,
Animal Eyes Tour. Kiss was fine, but Wasp was
above and beyond. Blackie Lawless, Chris Holmes.
Who was... Randy Piper. And I think it was Tony
Richards. The original... No, I think Tony Richards
was gone already. This was when Blind in Texas
just first came out, I believe. And they were
opening up for Kiss for only two weeks because
then Kiss got rid of them because they were upstaging
them, I believe. So they still had the torture
racks and they still set the Wasp's name on fire
and all that stuff. But Blackie and Chris Holmes
came out in seven -inch high heels at least.
And they're already like 6 '5". And Blackie would
jump up on the stand halfway up on his mic in
the high heels, lurching over the audience. And
it was just insane. Blackie was playing bass
at the time, and he had his Widowmaker bass.
Oh, my gosh. I mean, it was just one fuck of
a show. Blackie let everybody know. He said,
you know, he goes. You guys up there in upper
row, you think I can't hit you? I used to pitch
for the Texas Rangers. I'll nail your fucking
ass right between the eyes, and he did too. People
up there going nuts, and he was sending these
posters up there, just whizzing them up there
right to the people. And everything, I mean,
they were just, they were brutal. I mean, it
was just, gosh, I mean, that's a concert of concerts
right there. That is the epitome of what I loved,
and still do. And number one has to be Guns N'
Roses and Metallica at Arrowhead Stadium, not
just because the show kicked ass. Ice -T and
Body Count came out. I did not know that African
Americans could party like that. I mean, like
metal. They were going nuts, and I'm like looking
at them going, what the fuck? This is insane.
This is awesome. They're doing the same thing
we are. And then our music came on, and they
were doing it too, and we were doing it to theirs.
It was fucking fantastic. Like I said, the intermission
between Metallica played first. Guns N' Roses
were closing. There were alternating nights.
And in between there was the famous Tit Turn
to Vagina show. And they had cameramen running
around, and they had it on the big screen, prompting
women to show their tits. And finally, that one
drunk chick shows her gash. And then all of a
sudden, that's what it became. And then we had
a big hubbub because somebody at city council's
daughter was up there, and they found out about
it. Yeah, there was hell to pay after that. But
that concert was amazeballs. Yeah, that's mine.
I could not believe it. I mean, I'm just sitting
there watching. Oh, my God. Is that someone's
beef? Oh, my God, it is. Oh, no, there's another
one. Oh, no, there's like 10 chicks in a row
hiking up their skirt or whatever. Yeah, it was
something else. And, yeah, so. And that thing
just had so much power and force. Like I said,
I'm pretty sure the African -Americans felt the
same way we did. They looked at us and go, OK,
they're doing the same thing we are. This isn't
so bad. This is pretty cool because everybody
kind of imagined there's going to be fights and
all this stuff going on. Right. We're like, oh,
my gosh, you know, how could they, you know,
have these two different types of music at the
same venue and everybody get along? Well, that's
exactly what happened. It went off flawlessly.
It was fantastic. So let's take our second break,
and we'll come back with something you want to
talk about. All right. Sounds good. All right.
We'll be right back. We have proposed a problem.
First off, repair a bug -out central location
in case the family gets broken up. Make sure
and use natural markers to ensure no one gets
lost. Civil War times, the troops used a blackjack
elm tree to meet up after battle. Grab a stake
and practice making wild turkey tracks so you
can communicate to the others where you are.
vibrating toys. It's Ramblings of a Madman featuring
Rob Rad. Drinking coffee while taking a dump
is like using Stoner for it on a running motor.
Hey, look. I think we found land. Oh, my God.
I think we're safe. Oh, no. It's an island of
horrible jokes. What do you call A well -balanced
horse. Stable. Hey there, fuckstick. You're just
in time for brand new feature news nobody gives
a shit about. Every Model T that was ever manufactured
was in the color black. Have you ever wondered
what something came about? Have you ever looked
at something and said, Hey, I wonder what the
origin of that is? Well, so have we. That's why
we give you... the origin of what is the origin
of mountain dew tennessee bottlers barney and
ally hartman developed mountain dew as a mixer
in the 1940s soft drinks were sold regionally
in the 1930s and the hartmans had difficulty
in knoxville obtaining their preferred soda to
mix with liquor preferably whiskey so the two
developed fear own now known as mountain dew
now it's time for pickup lines from a loser are
you a banana you look appealing Wah, wah, wah,
wah. Hey, my fellow heavy breeders, this is Dash
Riptide, your music news. Jakey Lee has an update
on his would -be assassins. The gun was tied
to two previous murders Jakey Lee shares. The
former Ozzy Osbourne guitarist confirms that
suspects have been caught and will face sentencing
in July. The 68 -year -old guitarist was best
known for his tenure in Ozzy Osbourne between
1982 and 1987. Previously revealed that he was
shot multiple times while walking his dog in
Las Vegas. Now, when a Facebook post shared last
week, Lee says that justice is on the horizon.
The two that shot me are being caught and face
sentencing next month, he writes. The gun was
tied to two previous murders, so my case is almost
an afterthought. They're going bye -bye for a
long time. On that happy thought, see you on
TV. Jakey Lee also chimed in on why he is going
to be a part of Ozzie's farewell performance
on July 5th. Tom Morello called me, he said.
There's going to be a thing. an original Sabbath
performance in Ozzy Osbourne's final performance.
I can't see this going on without Jakey Lee in
there somewhere, he recalls. Lee, who played
on hits like Bark at the Moon and Killer Giants
during his stint with Ozzy Osbourne in the 80s,
says he's excited about the upcoming show, both
as a participant, as an audience member, even
if he hasn't been in contact with Ozzy for years.
It's a thrill to be a part of it, he says, and
even more so, for me to watch it. I hope Ozzy
can get through it. I haven't spoke to him or
seen him in decades. I really don't know what
condition he's in, but he deserves a final farewell
performance. No matter how he is or how well
he is singing, he deserves to have that final
farewell. I'm happy to be a part of it. Thank
you, Jake. We appreciate this. This is Gash Rooktyne,
and that was your music news. If it's too loud,
you probably have ear damage, just like me. This
is Johnny Rohypnol. That was your music news.
And remember, bar chords are bullshit. Two douchebags
and a microphone. I'm Mark here in the Kansas
City area at the Talk is Cheap studio. And this
is Rob at the beautiful Niagara Arm of Lake of
the Ozarks in the Duck and Blaine studio. All
right, Rob, we turn to you for the next bit of
information that we need really bad. Okay. Actually,
I do. This caught my attention. I was scrolling
through the Internet and found this article.
Okay. It's called Hot Wheels Bring Spielberg's
Infamous Shark to Your Desktop in a 164 Die -Cast
Miniature. Okay, so I had to pop it open and
read it. Of course. That only meant one thing.
Yep, yep. That only meant one thing, and I was
correct. Yep. Jaws celebrates its 50th anniversary
this year. And we've enjoyed seeing all the special
edition releases rolling out in the past months,
ranging from water thermoses, popcorn buckets,
and even an incredibly sleek Seiko dive watch.
The latest addition to the Jubilee celebration
is none other than a toy from Mattel. Wow. Part
of Hot Wheels lineup, this die -cast model recreates
the famed Orca boat. owned by Robert Shaw's Quint
in the 1975 film Mantra Form. Unlike, say, Star
Wars or Back to the Future, which also received
some cool merch of its own 40th anniversary this
year, Jaws has never been one to dabble much
in the toy market. But this is 2025, and toys
for men is a real thing. This year alone, we've
seen some quality figures from Nika and a handful
of Funko Pops. However, the new Hot Wheels orchestra
seems to veer away from each and actually offers
something you can display proudly off your workbench
or desktop. The set distinguishes itself by focusing
on one of cinema's most memorable sequences.
And Mattel doesn't phone it in at all. This is
a proper diorama that captures the tension of
Chief Brody, Quint, and Harper's infamous confrontation
with the Great White with impeccable intention
to detail. And I'm looking at a picture of it,
dude. I'm going to have to get one. The detail
on this is so incredible. I can only imagine.
I'm going to have to look it up. The 164 scale
orca nails the weather lived in appearance in
Quinn's vessel. The boat doesn't look like a
prestige toy fresh off the production line. It
actually has a salt stained heat nut character
that made the original prop boat so believable
as a working vessel. For this set, Mattel has
also included a miniature Chief Brody figure
positioned on the aft deck mid -chum, which brings
some authentic storytelling to the piece. Oh
yeah, we also get a miniature version of Bruce
the Shark in this set. Cool. Yet rather than
going for cartoonish proportions, the die -cast
great white maintains the missing scale. and
positioning that made the monster so terrifying
in the film. He's frozen here mid -attack, launching
himself at the boat stern in a way that recreates
one of the movie's most heart -stopping moments.
Uh, yeah. This is cool. Yeah, it's a 50th anniversary.
Yeah, I'm gonna look into this. I'm gonna have
to get one from the studio. Okay. This is cool.
Okay, well, thank you, Rob. Let's see. On a little
side note here, when you get some time in the
evening, I know you're working a lot and all
that, but we have a couple of Rob's tips for
life that we probably need to complete. They're
really good. I've already got the script and
everything. So we need to do that when we get
a chance. And also we need to put in number three.
of the first one and there's two other ones that
i want to do and i don't even remember what it
was i i do remember what it was because i have
it written down okay so yeah so it's good um
and then there is a couple of ramblings that
i found you know remember i was telling you about
the shuffling and all that well i found some
other stuff all the shuffling started with me
going through stuff wondering if i recorded it
yet or not because I had it all written on paper
or typed out. And I'm like, did I do this one
and just forgot about it? Or did we do this one
and just forgot about it? So I'm looking through
the whole thing, and that's why I decided I need
shuffle. I mean, there are just so many ones
that we have now. And there's a lot of them that
I forget about, like the clown nose one. And
I remember you saying, hey, you brought it back.
Well, I never meant to take it away. I love clown
nose. Yeah, it just got lost in the shuffle.
Now, if I have a shuffle feature. One of the
reasons why I like it is because it features
Topher. I know. Really good, too. It was before
me. I've always loved that. Yeah, that was like
the first elaborate one we really did. That was
like the first one where we started learning
how to do sound effects and different types of
voices on it and all that stuff. And so now we
have different ways of doing things, too. And
it's, you know, it seems to be working pretty
well, you know. So then we've evolved into, like,
different characters. I mean, you know, like
Johnny Rohypnol. And we got a new one for Phineas
J. Valtores III. He's doing some music news.
We also have... Dash Riptide. And we have all
these other ones. Technical Guy, Explanation
Guy, and all this stuff. And this is all voices
that we get through the internets and a subscription
service that you can use different voices. And
because of that, we're able to do some different
things on this. But that Clown Nose was one of
the very first ones we did that's so primitive.
We literally just got noises off of YouTube and
hammered it all together. So, anyhow. So, yeah.
Now it's much simpler with some of the tools
that they come out with now. I mean, I'd love
to do it like radio stations do, but, man, I
don't even have an interface on this thing. Otherwise,
I'd be doing things a little bit more different
than I do now, too. But I like the simplest version
that I can. And get the best sound of it I can.
Anyhow, it's 9 .15, and I have some stuff I have
to do this evening before I go to bed. I've got
to go get my rental car in the morning. Some
dumbass hit me in a parking lot the other day,
and I've got to get my Jeep fixed. I've got to
be there early to drop my car off and get to
rental and all that stuff. You want to go ahead
and call it a night? Yeah, we can if you want.
Okay, yeah, let's go ahead and call it a night,
and I'll just talk to you Tuesday night. Sounds
good. I'll have some new stuff for you. Okay,
that sounds good. All right, brother. Thank you
for joining me. And have a good night, everybody.
Good night, assholes. Good night, assholes. Oh,
no. Looks like the show's over, kids. Mark has
explosive diarrhea and can't afford a wireless
mic. Fear not, assholes. They'll be back invading
your ear holes soon.