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hereby promise to make other people listen. I,
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Listener, promise to make all my family members
listen and recite the daily douchebag pledge.
And finally, I, Joe or Jane Listener, hereby
promise to make the trek to Knobloch, Missouri,
just to have a selfie with the Knobloch sign.
Here at Two Douchebags and a Microphone, we don't
stand behind our journalistic integrity. Go ahead
and assume we got the story wrong. At least we
admit it. Not like all those other guys, we can
and will lie if it makes the story better. Two
douchebags and a microphone. Swimming in toxic
masculinity and wiping their ass with politically
correct wash rags. Two douchebags and a microphone
invade your ear holes in three. Two, one. Hey
there, slap nets. It's time for the Creeps Music
News. Hey, my little pumpkin seeds. This is Johnny
Rohypnol with your music news. Ozzy Osbourne
and Black Sabbath's Back to Begin and Farewell
concert in Birmingham, England on July 5th will
be available for a worldwide live stream. The
live stream priced at $29 .99 can be purchased
and accessed at backtothebeginning .com. The
event starts at 10 a .m. Eastern Time and includes
a 48 -hour video on -demand replay. This is according
to Billboard Magazine Online. This is Johnny
Rohypnol. That was your music news. And remember,
bar chords are bullshit. Next up, things overheard
in hell. The 24 -7 Jerry Lewis Telephone is coming
right up. And now, Deep Thoughts with Mark. Should
I throw away all my socks, then only buy 30 pair
of one kind of sock? Will they eventually not
match up? I may never know. Rob consumed small
doses of radiation for 30 years. 30 years. Rob
is immune to radiation. Watch him glow. Watch
Rob Red jump up 25 feet and grab birds out of
thin air with his mouth. With his mouth. Rob
can now be lent for children's parties and bar
mitzvahs. That's right. Come on and rent you
a Rob today. That's right. Come by and rent Rob
for a day. A day. A day. Watch Rob consume seven
bottles of night cream and still break dance
in New York. Watch Rob Red. Fart down the building.
Fart down the building. Rob Red assumes no responsibility
whatsoever. He is not a babysitter and he doesn't
give one hell of a shit about your children.
Please remember to corral every little bastard
you have. Before Rob gets there, and Walt will
not put up with any backtalk, he will promptly
get them in the place. Rob Bragg assumes no responsibility
for anything that could be stolen from his visit.
Rob Bragg has no responsibility whatsoever in
any help him of any situation. Read a Rob today.
Hey, you pilgrims. This is Mark from Two Douchebags
and Microphone. And this is the Two Douchebags
and Microphone part of the day. Hey, good kid.
No one gives an ounce of shit what you had for
breakfast. Not even the person on the other end.
You look like a mentally slow driv yelling into
thin air all through the store. I pray that Bluetooth
shorts you out and blows up your eardrums. What
men consider self -centered dunce. Monty constantly
coddled this dummy and it fucking shows. Go the
fuck home and bore your dog. Wait, you probably
forgot the theming because you're too busy looking
in the mirror all day. Fuck off. Two douchebags
and a microphone. I'm Mark here in the Kansas
City area at the Talk is Cheap studio. And I
am Rob in the beautiful night warm of Lake of
the Ozarks. All right, a very scorching Lake
of the Ozarks like up here. Yeah. And it's going
to get hotter too. It is everywhere. It's summertime.
What do you expect? You know what? You're right.
Yeah, they call this summertime. We know all
about it. Yeah. Yeah. We used to enjoy this time
of year. Well, you know what? I do enjoy it.
I do enjoy it, actually. I mean, yeah, it was
hot. I took and sprayed off. I took and, what
do you call it, power washed the patio today
and cleaned out the pool and stuff. I mean, it
was hard work. It always is. But, I mean, I can't
do that during the winter, you know? Right. So
I do appreciate it. It's just right now I'm,
like, really tired. But that's all right. You
know what? Because during the winter, I wish
I could be out there doing that. So I hear you.
You're right. I still enjoy summer. Yep. Yep.
It's just too damn hot these days. Oh, I agree.
I think it's because we're getting older. It
is. We used to enjoy this time of year. No, it
is because we're getting older, Rob. This stuff
before, I mean, we'd be out all damn day. Remember?
Oh, hell yeah. Yeah, it didn't matter. I mean,
it'd be 110, and we'd still be outside all day.
We didn't care. I mean... Yeah, we'd be hanging
out at the park or whatever. Yeah. Yeah, the
best you could do back then was probably get
a garden hose and spray each other off a couple
of times, and that's about it. Yeah. Yeah, so...
Oh, well, yeah, good old days, huh? And we drank
from those hoses, too, didn't we? Yes, we did,
and guess what? What? We're still talking in
the living. That's right. You're right. So today...
It won't kill you. Yeah, due to popular belief,
it will not kill you to drink from the garden
hose. Like, I guess they have... Was it online
and stuff? People going, oh, no, you can't do
that. You're going to get diseases and all this
shit. And it's like, what? No, you're not. Yeah.
I mean, if you did... Shit, everybody around
would be, everyone our age or a little bit younger
or a little bit older would have caught something
from it for sure. Who raised these pansies? Oh,
that's right, we did. Let's get ready to say,
don't go there. Hey, you know what? All you can
say is we tried. No, no, it is true. I mean,
think of us. Do we believe a damn thing the parents
told us when we were young? No. It's your nature.
Other than you can't drink avocados. Yeah, yeah,
we believe that much. We believe that much, but
we didn't really believe much else, you know.
You know, whenever I scowled, my face didn't
stick like that forever, right? Whenever I lied,
my nose didn't grow, right? Right. So why would
I believe him? All right. Yeah. All right. So
today, a guy was in line in front of me at the
neighborhood grocery store just right up the
road. It's called Farm Fresh, and it's the only
one that's in town right now, but from what I
understand, they're from Illinois or something,
and they're going to build more of them. The
total is like maybe $90. So the guy takes out
a traveler's check. Do you remember those, Rob?
Oh, my God. Yes. Yeah. Well, he said that this
traveler's check was from the early 90s. And
it looked it. The checkout lady was leery and
called a manager over. So the manager was certain
that if the check hasn't been cashed, it would
still be good. And me and the checkout lady was
kind of looking at each other like, this isn't
going to work. There should be a time limit on
it. That's what I thought. The manager called
the number on the check and sure enough, it cleared.
It cleared. Really? Yes. Awesome. Well, I remember
they used to say that they never expired. Which
I didn't believe. Remember, that was one of their
taglines is they're always good. They'll never
expire. If you lose it, you can get it replaced.
You know, let's say you're in Europe and someone
steals your wallet. You have the serial numbers
to them and you can get them canceled and all
that stuff. And, you know, you need an ID for
it. I mean, it was a great idea at the time.
So I am, you know, so I waited after I was rung
up in the corner there just to see if it would
work, because the manager took him over there
to, you know, his little. his little area there
you know his behind his desk area there and um
sure enough he gave him nine dollars change nine
nine something and some change back and uh so
yeah so he spent it was a hundred dollars traveler
check from the early 90s and he bought some groceries
he found the thing somewhere he said in his house
and then the check was branded american express
rob do you remember that holy shit yes yeah Carl
Molden used to do the commercial. Yes. Remember,
it said American Express Traveler's Checks. Don't
leave home without them. Yeah. Yeah. Well, they
don't even do Traveler's Checks anymore. They're
just credit cards. They don't even like to be
called American Express. They like to be called
Amex now. They don't like to be called American
Express. They like Amex. Okay, I'll make note
of that. Yeah, the next time, remember, don't
call them American Express. They don't like that.
Okay. So, all right. I come up there, right?
Okay. You and I are at Margaritaville, okay?
And I pull out an American Express. What do you
say? Hey, is that a? MX. Yep. All right. Well,
Rob, you passed the test. This time? Yeah. Yeah,
next time. All right. So, I guess I got the margaritas,
the first ones, huh? Yeah. Okay. All right. Cool.
And maybe we were. You're the one that said it.
Well, you know what? Maybe we will go there when
I come down. Why not? We should. Yeah, we should.
It's not far from here. It's like 15 minutes
from here. That's what I thought. It's just across
the bridge, basically, and to the left. Actually,
you don't even go across the bridge. Oh, that's
right. It's going to Osape Beach. That's right.
It's on the other... I forgot. It's on your side.
Yeah. Hell yeah. Yeah, it's the old Tanterra.
Tanterra. That's what I thought. Wow. Down KK,
which is like the first main exit in Osape Beach.
Yeah. Yeah, I remember that very well. I used
to go there all the time. West to east, yeah.
Yeah, and also, it's pretty cool if you look
at the images. They have palm trees all over,
and they have a nice sandy beach. Oh, yeah. I
mean, it's really that much... That's where the
crazy COVID pictures came from. I know, where
everybody, the whole world was up in arms. Yeah.
Look at that. There's two million people there,
and they're all going, we're outside, dumbasses.
We didn't give a shit down here. No, I, well,
did anyone ever really worry? Well, some people
did. Some people did. Don't get me wrong. Some
people did. Some people did, seriously. But a
majority of people down there did not. No. No,
I know. Basically, the Kansas City area, Cass
County, South, they were a completely different
set of rules than Kansas City. Yeah. Completely
different. And I don't know about over east and
over west into Kansas and all that. I don't know
about that area. But, you know, at the time,
I still owned a house in Cass County. And I do
know that COVID, nobody gave a shit down there.
You'd walk into any building and they wouldn't
go, get your mask on or leave. They'd just be
like, oh, hey, how you doing? You'd see a couple
of people. Yeah, masks were optional. Yeah, masks
were optional. And I remember some of the people
that, like, let's say you're going into a restaurant.
A couple of ladies there had some masks on. One
lady was immune compromised and another one was
taking care of her elderly mom. So it was cool.
Yeah. And I was very careful. You know, I didn't
get near them. I stayed away from them. I tried
to keep my mouth, you know, the other way, you
know, just to, you know, I didn't want to get
their mom sick or anything. But but they weren't
mad at you for coming in without a mask. They're
just kind of like, oh, you know what? This this
guy's right. He doesn't have to. They weren't
like demanding that all of a sudden you put a
mask on or leave or nothing like that. They're
just kind of like, OK, you know what? We're freedom.
It's cool. So but yeah, the whole thing is, yeah,
we do need to go to Landshark Bar. Just don't
go to golf. Yeah. Yeah. Hey, I'll tell you what
I'd like to do is go to the resort at Lake of
the Ozarks, that place that Val and I ended up
when we were trying to see Glenn Hughes and Sedalia
and it got rained out. They have that bar where
Molly Hatchet played at. It's an underwater bar,
amphitheater. Oh, the Encore. Yeah, the Encore.
Yes. Yes. Yeah, I would like to go there for
a decent concert. I mean, they had Molly Hatchet
there. Let me do some research. Do some research
and let's figure out something. The guy that
owns it is really, really cool. I think I told
you about this, but we ended up there. We ended
up staying the night there at the hotel. And
we went to the Encore, the bar part, the indoor
part, not the actual amphitheater. We went inside
Encore to watch the Chiefs game. And the owner
was in there with a megaphone. I think I told
this, but if I did, it was funnier than hell.
And every time the Chiefs would score, they're
playing Atlanta. He would scream over the megaphone,
Chiefs score! Touchdown, Kansas City! And there
are some Atlanta fans in there. And he was like
pointed right at them with this real police megaphone,
screaming at them. They ended up leaving. They
ended up leaving. And he didn't care. He just
goes, fuck them. But that guy was really cool.
He has the needle. Yes, he didn't care. He was
like, you know what, man, if I got to worry about
a couple of dinners and a couple of beers over
here, I should not be here. He was not worried
about it. And, you know, they're wearing their
Atlanta swag and everything, but they left in
a hurry. I think they're upset, but who cares,
you know? So, and they are the official Chiefs
bar of Lake of the Ozarks region. They have it
everywhere there. And I think they are. I think
they're in. In some sort of an agreement with
the Chiefs, it looked like. And also, that guy
has the coolest Beatles collection on the wall
near the bathrooms. I have not been in there.
You need to go in there. And when you go in there
and get a drink, go take a piss and look at the
other side of the wall of the hallway. And you'll
see all this guitars, everything from the Beatles
signed. memorabilia from the Beatles. He actually,
he actually met them. I don't know what the guy
did. He obviously is pretty well off to own a
resort like that, you know, but yeah, but he
has it mostly Beatles. They have some other stuff.
I think there's a Tom Petty sign thing there.
Um, yeah, he's obviously, he's a demographic
all the way, you know, he's older, white haired
guy with a beard. He's a demographic, but he
is a freedom rocker, you know, definitely. And
so that's probably why you get Molly Hatchet
at the venue there, you know, at the encore.
So anyhow, and they have my full support. I could
not have been more impressed with that bar. It
was cool because you could look anywhere inside
the inside part of the bar, and there's a huge
TV. Wherever I looked, the Chiefs game was playing
because it was a Sunday night game. I could look
back. I could look east. I could look west. I
could north, south. All the way around, back,
forward, everywhere was a Chiefs game playing.
And the barmaids were fast and quick, and the
food was good, and the drinks were even better.
So, I'm telling you, they had yin -ling on tap,
which made me very happy. I almost started crying.
There you go. Yeah. So, anyhow, well, I got derailed
on that. So, okay, Rob, you just went through
a breakup, right? Yeah. Okay. You know what you
should have done is you should have had artificial
intelligence writing your breakup note because
that is what 41 % of Gen Zs are doing now. They
have services, different services online that
have an AI write your text and text it to your
soon -to -be ex. There was a survey. Oh, was
it in person? Yeah, pretty much. Oh, okay. Well,
I guess you couldn't have done it then, but okay.
I wasn't doing tests anyway. I'm not that kind
of guy. you know what i mean yeah this isn't
our demographic i wouldn't do that either you
know besides that i mean you can't get the point
across in a text you know like if you're upset
or or something's really not working you know
you really got to kind of be in person go you
know what yeah don't don't be mad at me but man
you know this and this and this you know it's
just not working you know i'm not the type of
guy to be like ah i'm just not feeling it sorry
good luck you know um Yeah, I was always kind
of a guy that would try to explain what's going
on and try to be nice and civil and all that,
you know. So, anyhow, it rarely worked out, but
I tried. I'm sorry, darling. I just took on two
extra full -time jobs, so I'm working three full
-time jobs. I don't have time. I did it. Yes.
It's not you. Well, okay, it is. I always wanted
to do that. It's not you. Well, wait. Okay, it
is you. But still. Yeah, yeah. You keep being
you. Someone will like you somewhere. It may
not have happened to you. Actually, I have done
that a couple times. It's not me. It's you. I'm
sorry. It's you. But, you know, you'll make somebody
happy. Just not me. I have done that. Or an explanation.
I'm sorry I have higher standards. I've never
used that one. I haven't either. But nowadays
I would. I mean, I don't have to, thank God.
But, you know, I mean, nowadays I would. I wouldn't
really care. I'd be like, eh, you know what?
I have standards, but I know a guy down the road
that doesn't. Do you want his number? Something
like that. So I'll be getting a call? Yeah. Have
you ever heard of two douchebags and a microphone?
Click. Hello? Hello? Hello? Hmm. Rob, I got some
bad news. What? As soon as I said our name, she
hung up. I figured. So anyhow, there's a national
survey. 41 % of young adults have used AI to
help end a relationship, with women slightly
more likely than men to let the bots do the dirty
work. Wow, women have changed. Because I remember
when you used to fuck up, women could not wait
to catch you on it and tell you about it. You
lived in those times, right? Right. They'd be
like, Rob, come here. We need to talk. Oh, fuck.
Hang on, hang on. I'm in the middle of something.
No, we need to talk now. Fuck. Okay, I'll be
right there. You know, it's like, oh, shit, man.
I know what I'm going to hear. I know it's coming.
Yeah, I've been fucking up lately. No, I don't
necessarily care. I just don't want the big spill.
And then you get the big spill and you got to
sit there and go, yeah, you're right. Yeah, you're
right. I'm working on myself. I know. I know.
Man, you know, one of these days I'm going to
change, you know, and all that bullshit. But
really, you're like looking at the door. Your
feet are placed away from her, you know, and
you keep looking at the back door. You know,
not hers. You know, keep looking back to her.
Yeah, I understand. Yeah, 100%. Yeah, I know.
I know. I've been like this. It must have happened
when I was a child. I was traumatized. You know,
a clown touched my pee -pee. You know, I just
can't handle relationships because that clown,
it touched my pee -pee. And, you know, I've been
weird ever since. But meanwhile, you're feeling...
A clown touched your pee -pee? You get drunk.
You don't understand. What, Rob? I'll use anything,
man. A clown touched my pee -pee. Rob, do you
want me to go get you a 12 -pack? I didn't know
a clown touched your pee -pee. Hang on, I'll
be right back. What kind do you want? I'm sorry.
Shit, where was I now? Oh, the survey which polled
1 ,000 U .S. adults who've used AI for dating
shows just how deep AI has embedded itself in
modern romance. Nearly half of 18 to 29 -year
-olds say they've turned to AI tools to write
breakup texts, apologies, or manage relationship
conflicts. The most common uses include dating
bio -optimization, conversation starters, replying
to messages, and resolving conflict. There's
more, but I think I got the point across, right?
I mean, you know, I'm more of a fan of, you know,
kind of... You know, if you still get along with
a person well, kind of let them in on what you
saw of what you thought they were doing wrong
as a courtesy, right? Yeah. And you know you're
going to hear what you did wrong. That's just
automatic. But, you know, and I guess it widely
depended on how I felt about the person. If I
really didn't care about them and thought they
weren't that good of a person, I wouldn't have
said anything. No constructive criticism at all.
So, anyhow. I got a question. How did you, did
you listen to the podcast yet from last night?
Oh, you haven't? Okay. There's a couple of new
segments on there I want to get a rating on.
And I'm pretty proud of them. And one of them
is just simply the truth. And the other one is,
oh, not opinion. but a factual piece about why
people might be violent inherently because of
some studies that were done with rats. And it's
a pretty long piece, and it's pretty serious,
but I really want it to be thought -provoking,
and I really want to get your opinion on it.
I'm going to have Topher listen to it, too. And
also, anybody out there, if you have some opinions
on the new one, the rat piece and the piece about
a... KCI having a new pass that you can go in
there. I want to hear your feedback on them because
it's kind of a little bit of a slightly new direction.
We're still doing the dick jokes and all that
stuff, but there's some stuff that I want to
do that isn't quite so ha -ha, but maybe a little
bit more thought -provoking, and I really would
like people's input on it. I mean, if it sucks,
let me know. I'll do it more. No, if it sucks,
let me know. And I won't do it again. So, all
right. So I have more, but Rob, let's turn to
you. You got something. Yeah, yeah, I do. There's
something I have to admit to you. Okay. That
you have not known for the last 40 years that
we've known each other. That I have to finally
get off my chest. Okay. And I hope we still be
friends afterwards. You listen to Hanson. Okay.
Hall and Oates. I like Hall and Oates, too. Mainly
Oates. Mainly Oates. Yeah, Hall's kind of a dweeb.
Yeah, he's a dweeb. That's an 80s term. Google
it. Do it. Even though they did lose me after
Big Bang Boom. Oh, Big Bang Boom sucked. Oh,
my God. It was like they were trying to get on
the Ridley Hills. Yeah, yeah, they're trying
to do the Bebop Deluxe bullshit, and it didn't
work. But, you know, you making my dreams come
true, fucking awesome. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, they
did a lot of great songs, and they were happy
songs. Okay, good. We're still going to be friends
after that. Yeah, we are. I like them. Now, if
they've been handsome... After 40 years, I had
to. I appreciate that, Rob. Thank you. Yeah.
I was not man enough to admit it to you, but
now that you've been the first. I've been kind
of the first. Yeah, well, I mean, if it was Hanson,
I would have hung up, and there would have been
no more podcast. I mean, I would have been shamed
if you liked Hanson. I'm glad you did not say
Hanson. No, hell no. Okay. Hell no. Yeah, so,
okay, that's good. That's good. All right. Was
that your segment or not? No. No, I got more.
I got more. Okay, cool. Yeah, well, seeing how,
like, last night I was on a Jake Paul tirade.
Yes, yeah, and I listened to that today, and
I missed a couple of things, but, you know, Jake
Paul has really not fought anybody, like you
were pointing out. Well, here we go again. Okay.
You're going to like this one, too. The son of
late boxing star Tommy Morrison is proving power
ain't a trait that skips a generation. After
Kenzie Morrison dominated his bare -knuckle boxing
op last weekend, and now he's calling out one
of the biggest names in the sport. Kenzie Sports
talked to 34 -year -old Morrison, a 22 -year
-old. BKFC scrap after putting Alex Davis down
and out in just 63 seconds. Okay. With a win
under his belt, Kenzie's hoping to lure a big
-name fighter in squared circle. No, he's not.
Oh, yeah, he could. He goes on to say... Yeah.
He goes on to say... in his relatively short
boxing career. I give him credit. You know, what
he's done is amazing. His resume looks good,
Morrison says, explaining it's just the fact
that I don't agree with the things that he says.
I don't like the fact that he was able to come
into his sport, that so many people, they give
their life for the sport, and they give everything
and they struggle. And then Jake comes in and
manipulates it and then talks all this shit.
And it really bothers a lot of truth fighters.
Kenzie, I see that. I see that. You know what?
I agree with that. I agree with that. But I also
have a counterpoint afterwards. So go ahead.
Okay. Kenzie tells us he hopes the attention
from his bare knuckle bite puts him on Paul's
radar. I'm just waiting for a phone call, man.
I'm hoping that maybe this DKFC thing with some
following popping off, you know, maybe he'll
finally get a chance to hear me because I've
been waiting for a long time and I'm ready. I'd
love to see it. Okay. What was your rebuttal?
Okay. My counterpoint is this. I agree with Kenzie
100%. It bothers the real boxers, the real fighters,
the real scrappers. But Jake Paul is a marketing
genius, dude. He's a great businessman. Yes,
he is. He has taken nothing and made millions
off of it. Oh, him and his brother Logan both?
Yeah. Yeah, I mean. Logan's done that in the
WWE. Yes, that's true. Good point. Just come
in and was just handed the title shot. Yeah,
I mean, how can I motherfuck that? You know,
yeah, I agree with it. If I was a fighter, I'd
be like pissed too and going, man, you know,
that guy's not, he's not doing shit, you know,
and there he is, you know, making all this money.
Well, he was smart enough to figure out how to
make something out of nothing. It's all in the
name. Yeah, it is. It is. So Jake Paul, I probably
would believe he couldn't fight Butterbean because,
like I said, I read up on it and there's no way
Butterbean, he would never get sanctioned, number
one. Number two, Butterbean just couldn't do
it. But Kenzie Morrison, respectable name. He
is somewhat of a royalty name, if you would say.
I mean, you know, Tommy Morrison, problem with
him is, is he partied too much? He may have been
a very long -tenured. very good world champion,
but he never had enough discipline. Never had
enough discipline to stay practicing. And then
you have people like Michael Bent that beat the
shit out of him, who was a tomato can. And then
the next time Michael Bent fought defending the
title, he got his ass beat so bad that he had
to leave boxing. And it was by a nobody. So,
you know what happened there? Tommy Morrison.
Was like, oh, that guy's a tomato can. And he
partied all weekend. And then he went in there
hungover. He couldn't move very well. And Michael
Bent beat the shit out of him. And then he lost
his fight that he was going to fight. Lennox
Lewis, I believe, wasn't it? Yeah, it could have
been Riddick Bowe, but I think it was Lennox
Lewis. He had that all set up. And then when
he finally did get a chance to fight, I think
it was Lennox Lewis. After he straightened out
and won a few fights and stuff, and he was the
great white hope, so he got a little bit more
of a chance than some guys did. You know, like
a Ray Mercer, you know, when he lost, he had
a hard time getting back in it. But Tommy Morrison
was kind of granted a little bit because he was
a great white hope. And I don't mean demeaning
by that. You know, I'm considered white during
the wintertime. No, actually, I'm considered
white all the time. But so let me think of how
to. OK, he was kind of branded like this guy
can sell a lot. So he was kind of glad handed
a little bit by the WBO and the WBC. And they
kind of, you know, they were getting ready to
give him a fight with Lennox Lewis after he came
back from the bent blowout. You know, when he
he got the NWO belt, I believe it was. No, it
wasn't NWO. No. NCO, NBO or something like that,
National Boxing Organization or something like
that. He got that belt and then he lost it. Well,
then he didn't have the belt, but he was coming
up against the title of Lennox Lewis, I believe,
wasn't it? Yeah, I think so. Yeah, yeah. And
that's when he contracted AIDS. And when they
did the blood tests, Las Vegas said, nah, we're
not sanctioning this. You have AIDS, or not AIDS,
but HIV. And then all this sad stuff happened
where Tommy Morrison refused to admit he had
HIV. He said it was a false positive because
of steroids. And that wasn't the case. He passed
away from AIDS because he ignored it, believing
it was not true. And it's too bad because he
probably could have still been alive with all
the advances they have. You know, but anyhow,
you know, that was I'd love to see Kenzie do
it, you know, because he's kind of he's kind
of got royal blood, if you will. So anyhow. All
right. Let's take our first break. I have a couple
of emails. Not a whole lot since we podcasted
last night. Not a whole lot of room in between
there. Anyhow, I'll be right back or we'll be
right back. Jam X. What the hell happened? You
were the generation of change. You never wanted
to be one of them. Apathy spoke for you. Fuck
the man. Fuck the system. What the hell happened?
The generation of angst? The generation of noncompliance?
is now buying a boat? You're really fed up to
kill someone who dangled a dollar near you? Great
job, Xers. Everything's ruined. Your mama's so
stupid, she thought lightsabers were less calories.
Two douchebags and a microphone, says. You ever
dream about eating chocolate pudding and wake
up with a spoon in your ass? Just asking. Have
you ever wondered what something is about? Have
you ever looked at something and said, hey, I
wonder what the origin of that is? Well, so have
we. That's why we give you The Origin of. The
Origin of Underwear. The earliest evidence of
underwear dates back to 4400 B .C. in the Bardarian
culture of Egypt. Loincloths. The first underwear
prototypes were loincloths, called shenti, made
from woven materials like cotton and flax that
are held up by a belt and worn at the waist.
Panties, the earliest known underwear that resembles
modern panties, were made from linen and leather.
Linen was used for everyday use, while leather
panties were used by women when they were menstruating.
Batman would look ridiculous solving crime on
a sunny day. This is Joshua Belmont, your food
for thought man on the hustle. So I just realized
a genius that gets absolutely no credit. His
name is Marshall Taylor. He is credited with
the first bag of salad mix that was bagged and
sold. Yesterday was his birthday. I believe he
is still alive. This guy's genius will never
be fully appreciated. Before this man, we settled
for iceberg lettuce with maybe a couple of croutons
and some cheese. Was Mr. Taylor satisfied with
that? Hell no. He realized that Billy Americana
would never go out and buy a couple of radishes,
a couple of carrots, a head of purple cabbage,
maybe snow peas, and possibly some cute romaine
bladders for extra bougie. Mr. Taylor, you should
have a national holiday. Two Dishbags and Microphone
is the only podcast available anywhere with gusto.
That's right, I said gusto. Gusto is a magical
ingredient in Schlitz beer that makes it so damn
delicious. So enjoy a little gust over your podcast
today. Hey, if you're a fan of paying way too
much for trinkets and food, well, your wish is
coming true. Kansas City International Airport
Guest Pass program is starting today. Yes, you
too could overspend on workless trinkets and
$15 cups of coffee. Want to buy a $50 cheap T
-shirt that has KC Western Auto Building image
on it? We got you covered. Want a barbecue sauce
gift pack? No problem. Just a mere $40 and you're
first born. Hurry. You know rubes are jumping
all over to get to this complete ripoff. Because
people are cheap. Because people are cheap. Two
douchebags and microphone. I'm Mark here in Kansas
City at the Talk is Cheap studio. Not quite in
the current duck blind studio, but right next
door, right? Yeah, yeah. My son's crashing on
the studio floor. They're actually cleaning his
apartment today. He's getting ready to move in
his apartment upstairs. Oh, very cool. Yeah.
Do you think you're going to be beating on the
ceiling telling him to quiet it down at like
10? Oh, okay. All right. Fair enough. He probably
doesn't listen, does he? He's like any son, no.
No. Okay. All right. Well, you can just tell
him yourself then instead of him hearing this.
I got some emails here. Are you ready for them?
Sure. Okay. Hey, guys. What is the chance I have
in Collins? I'd love to bring up subjects I think
are interesting. Jerry in New Orleans. And I
had three others over the last... Three weeks.
We will. I'm not sure when. But we will. And
this is going to require, like, giving people
notice and letting them know when we're on. And
usually it's going to be Wednesday or Sunday
nights, generally. Or no, Tuesday and Sunday
nights, not Wednesday. Or usually our podcast
times at 8 o 'clock. So, if you hear this, this
is fair warning when we do have the capabilities
of having people call in. The problem that I
have right now is this right here. I can take
calls and split them on my phone and go three
-way calling. The Bluetooth is the one that can't
handle that. The Bluetooth flips out and goes
back and forth, and then one person's off, one
person's on. There's got to be a way to do it.
Oh, what? The Bluetooth flips out just with me.
Yes. So there's got to be a way to do it. As
soon as I figure it out, we'll probably start
doing that because, I mean, not just the last
three weeks, but periodically I've been getting
calls from people that want to call in, and I
think that would be cool. What do you think?
Yeah, that'd be great. I mean, Rob used to call
in. Oh, okay. I could do that. Yeah, if you ever
have a guest. Until we get going bigger, you
know. Yeah, I mean, look, it's all a work in
progress, and it's also a spare time hobby. You
know, it's not like we're making money or nothing
like that. So, you know, we're trying. We're
getting there, you know. So, anyhow, thanks for
wanting to do that, though. Everybody over the
last few years that have written in, thank you.
and we'll get to it sometime. Hey, guys, I will
never take Mark's side. Clint in Clarksville.
Okay, I accept that. What about you, Rob? I accept
it, too. Okay. All right, Clint, we are not partners
in crime. Oh, geez, oh, golly, oh, shucks. Actually,
we kind of figured that. Yeah, yeah. Evidently,
you don't understand parody, you know, where
something's kind of a joke, but you act like
it's not. You know, that stuff. Yeah. Okay, now
taking away the Narcan is not a joke. Yeah, I'm
going to start taking it away again. Yeah. He
must carry his own. Alright, Mark. Yeah, I bet
you he does. He probably has a little thing in
Narcan. Probably next to his glue that he sniffs.
What else? Yeah, his butt plugs. Yeah, probably
in there. In the same baggie. Yeah. Out in front
of Dollar General with his little cup that he
has for spare change. All right. Mark, I'm really
loving some of the newer segments you're expanding.
Matt and Clearwater, thank you. Thank you. Yes.
I want to hear Rob's opinion of the two newer
ones that I've had. I mean, they're completely
different than stuff I've done before, and they
don't even necessarily have a title. They're
almost like parody opinion pieces, but actually
a lot of truth in them. So I just want to hear
what people think. Matt, thank you. I'm not sure
which ones you're talking about, but I have put
newer segments in a lot of them here lately.
You know, instead of doing an island of horrible
jokes, doing a couple more of those, a couple
of first world problems, I've went in other directions.
And then also, if you're talking about like the
music news and all that, that's going to expand
because there's going to be like little odd news
stories and different stuff like that coming
up too. And I think, Rob, I think we decided
that we're going to expand on a technical description
guy. Yeah, I think so. Yeah. I think that's one
of the ones we talked about, and we're like,
we like that one a lot. We like music news a
lot. We also like a couple of characters that
we like a little bit better. So thank you. You
guys need a female president on the podcast.
I'm willing to give it a try on a show, Liz in
Florida. This goes back to being able to do it.
Liz, write in. And when we get the capabilities,
write back. Or we'll have the number. You know
what? When we get the capabilities, we'll just
give out the number. But right now, we don't
have the capabilities. So, you know, it's still
on hold here. But Liz, when we give out the number,
call in. We'll have you as a sidekick. We'll
see how it goes, man. I wouldn't be opposed to
that, would you? Me? No, I'd enjoy it. Yeah,
I think it'd be great to get a female presence
on here. Just, you know, maybe shut us down when
we need shut down. Maybe encourage us a little
bit when we need to, you know. You'll get your
ass kicked is what you'll get. Oh, I'm sure.
I'm sure. But that'll be part of the fun. That'll
be part of the fun. There'll be a lot of guys
out there going, man, I'm glad that loud mouth
is getting his ass kicked. So, hey, you guys
don't have to do a top seven concerts. Give me
a couple of days and I'll come up with a better
list. Ronnie in Tulsa, the Tulsa King. Ronnie,
we don't mind doing it. We already discussed
it. He probably sent this before he listened
to the show because I just posted the show this
morning. I got the email, I think. This morning.
So he probably didn't hear it yet. We're going
to do the top seven concerts again. I don't mind
that, do you? No, no, because like I said last
night, I just went to this concert Saturday night,
and it's going to have to be on my list. Yeah.
So, you know, the list is going to change. Yeah,
so it's still a great list and a great question,
so don't, you know, it's cool. To be honest,
every list that we do, we could do again because
every list will be different because we take
so many afterwards. Ronnie, write some lists
that we did before that you want to revisit and
we'll be more than willing to do that. Okay.
Yeah, yep, more homework. That's the end of the
emails because I really didn't get that many
because it's only been like a day. So, Rob, I
turn it to you. All right. President Donald Trump
has unveiled a new line of fragrances. Now on
sale through GetTrumpFragrances .com. Okay. Yeah,
you heard me right. The products include Fight,
Fight, Fight. 47 colognes for men and fight,
fight, fight and victory 47 perfumes for women.
The scents described as a rally cry in a bottle
are being promoted as luxury limited edition
items built around Trump's image and legacy.
The release confirmed in a product announcement
and echoed in a post by the president on his
social Marks the latest in a series of branded
merchandise offered under the Trump name. The
fragrances are available for immediate purchase.
The prices for the Victory 47 edition set at
$249 a bottle. According to the website, the
products embody themes of resilience, victory,
power, and confidence. With packaging that features
the President's likeness and symbolic... gestures
such as a raised fist or golden statue wow um
um rob i don't know if you know the answer to
this or not but what i would like to know is
this is donald trump behind this or did he just
sell the idea to somebody Yeah, because I bet
you anything, someone came up to him with the
idea. He said, I love it. And they gave him a
certain amount of money, and he went with it.
Oh, he's backing it. He is? Okay. President Donald
Trump wrote on True Social Monday, Trump fragrances
are here. They're called Victory 45, 47, because
they're all about winning, strength, and success
for men. Have fun and keep winning. Regardless
of how you feel about Trump, I love the thought
of that, actually, because one of the most polarizing
images that will forever be in American history
will be his ear bleeding, the side of his face
bleeding, and his fist in the air in defiance.
Whether you love the guy or not, that was one
of the most polarizing moments in history ever.
So he's capitalizing on it. Why not? He's a businessman.
So love him or hate him. Hell, I mean, you know,
he's going to capitalize on it. And I see. I
understand. So I probably would, too. So, all
right. Is that it? Yeah, that's it. Okay. Speaking
of, you know, getting hit in the head with a
bullet and stuff. You know, one hit in the head
can knock you into a life of crime, according
to a study that they've done a lot of research
on. A new study suggests... Oh, go ahead. What?
Oh, I just said, huh? Yeah. Well, I'll go into
it in a minute. Because some of the stuff it
says, I've seen. I know people that have been
affected by it. And I'll describe it here in
a minute. A new study suggests that damage to
a key part of the brain involved in judgment
and emotional regulation could explain why people
suddenly begin displaying violent or criminal
behavior. The findings support earlier research
showing that head injuries are far more common
in U .S. prison population than among the general
public. You see, I had another idea why they
had head injuries. But maybe not. You didn't
get where I'm going with that, did you? Yeah.
Okay, you did. Okay. All right. This work could
have real -world implications for both medicine
and the law, said Dr. Christopher M. Philly.
It might be Philly, F -I -L -L -E -Y, whichever
one it is. I'm going to call him Philly. Professor
of Neurology at the University of Colorado School
of Medicine and co -author of the new study.
Doctors may be able to better identify at -risk
patients and offer effective early interventions,
he added, and courts might need to consider brain
damage when evaluating criminal responsibility.
Philly's team examined brain scans for 17 people
who began committing crimes after suffering head
trauma caused by strokes, tumors, or traumatic
brain injuries. TBIs are no joke. I know two
people. They've had severe TBIs, traumatic brain
injuries, closed head injuries. One due to a
motorcycle wreck and another one due to a log
hitting the person on the head, a huge log. And
both of them never had depression before in their
life. After that they did. Their personality
changed considerably. And not just a little,
I mean considerably. TBIs are no joke, and I
could see how this could correlate to something
like this. One of my friends used to care, and
he doesn't anymore. He has some health issues,
and he doesn't do anything about them. That is
a direct result of the TBIs, in my opinion, from
what I've seen. Philly's team examined brain
scans from 17 people who began committing crimes
after suffering head trauma. like I said, by
TBI strokes and tumors. Then they compared those
scans to over 700 other people with different
neurological issues, such as memory loss or depression.
The researchers found that the brain's right
chamber was the most consistently injured area
among individuals who engaged in criminal behavior.
This part of the brain located in the right chamber
is, and hang on here, my paper is sticking together,
so bear with me here. a white matter pathway
that serves as a cable connecting regions that
govern emotion and decision making, Philly explained.
When that connection is disrupted on the right
side, a person's ability to regulate emotions
and make moral choices may be severely impaired,
he added. Past research has shown that people
with a history of traumatic brain injuries are
more likely to struggle with depression. Substance
abuse, aggression, and antisocial behavior. Check,
check, check, and check from the people I know.
They also have a higher likelihood of acting
out sexually and lacking self -restraint. I don't
know about that. Studies also show that incarcerated
populations are significantly more inappropriate
thoughts and behaviors, even if they make a full
congenitive recovery. A Centers for Disease Control
and Prevention report estimates that between
25 % and 87 % of inmates in the U .S. prisons
and jails have experienced a head injury or TBI
compared to just 8 .5 % of the general public.
And that's one hell of a difference, 87 % to
8 .5%. I think there's probably something there.
What do you think, Rob? That doesn't sound like
yourself. Yeah. So a growing number of defense
attorneys on criminal behavior. We're seeing
way more of it in the courts than we used to,
and I think that's going to continue. Judge Morris
B. Hoffman at Colorado's second judicial court
told Discover Magazine. An analysis found more
than 2 ,000 recorded legal opinions between 2005
and 2015 in which criminal defendants in the
U .S. used neuroscience as part of their defense.
Roughly 20 % of those who presented this kind
of evidence earned some form of favorable outcome,
whether it was a new hearing, a reversal, or
even a more lenient deadline to file legal paperwork.
There is more, but like I said, What I know about
it, it covered in that article. Now, they're
not into criminal behavior, but they are depressed.
And they do, you know, they do have a completely
different personality than they used to. And
it sucks. And both people are quite a bit different
than the one that I knew. Still love them. Still
get along with them well. but their personality
is quite a bit different, and it's quite upsetting
sometimes. Right. Yeah. So, Rob, after that little
Buzz Killington, your turn. Okay. A Louisiana
man's ocean fishing trip turned life -threatening
after he was impaled in the throat and skull
base by a fish. Oh. Yeah. It's a good one. Okay.
just landed a 60 -pound white marlin off the
coast when things went sideways. As he leaned
over the edge of the boat to unhook the fish,
it thrashed violently and lost its sharp bill
straight into his mouth. The force knocked...
Yeah. The bill of the fish went straight into
his mouth. That is crazy. The force knocked him
backward, and he initially felt a static pain
in his neck that radiated down his spine, according
to a case report published by the Journal of
Emergency Medicine. He was rushed to the hospital
by boat and helicopter, arriving with severe
neck pain, stiffness, and blood in his mouth.
Doctors initially spied... Okay. Still something
didn't set right. Surgeons had to make an additional
decision about his top vertebrae to extract it
safely. Once removed... Yeah. You think he'll
ever go fishing again? I know I wouldn't. I wouldn't
either. What a weird happening. Jeez. I wonder
what the odds in that would be, if you could
bet on it. One in three billion, maybe? Something
like that. It would have to be something astronomical.
If I was him, I'd play the lottery. I mean, you
know, the yin and yang of luck. That's such bad
luck. If he plays a lottery ticket, he's probably
going to win $50 million. Damn, walked out of
the hospital eight days later. Wow. Wow. All
right, thank you, Rob. According to this lady,
yes, crew members do have sex in the cockpit,
flight attendant. Confesses. The plane is on
autopilot. They're doing the deed at 30 ,000
feet, she claims. While frequent flyers are sitting
back and enjoying the ride, freaky wingmen are
too. This is according to an in -flight insider
who claims captains and crew members secretly
have sex in the sky. Um, that wouldn't surprise
me. Would that surprise you, Rob? Yeah, I don't
know. Captains are eccentric. And flight attendants,
let me see, what would be a good word to use?
Free? Are free? Carefree? Yeah. Partiers? Happy
-go -lucky? I can see this happening. I can see
it happening very easy. Here's how pilots and
flight attendants join the Mile High Club while
they're on the clock and you're in the passenger
seats. begin Sierra Mist and experience Air Hostess
in a jaw -dropping vid. The NSFW know it all
explained. So, there's a at least two pilots
in the flight deck, and there has to be at least
two people in the flight deck at all times on
the flight. If a pilot is hungry or has to pee,
he has to come out of the flight deck, but a
flight attendant has to go in there to replace
him at Mist, and that's how plans of initiation
to join the Mile High Club are activated. A pilot
and flight attendant. Miss explained that aviators
and flight attendants often join the Mile High
Club when one of the co -pilots steps out of
the flight deck. The mid -air romps, which are
not officially considered illegal offenses, so
there you go. They're not considered legal. So,
I mean, if no one tells, I mean, I doubt if they
even get fired over it. I mean, there's not enough
pilots anyhow, you know. So, um, the midair ROMs,
which are officially considered, uh, officially
not considered illegal offenses have been deemed
icky by flight attendants and such, uh, Suzanne
Beckham, who's caught couples getting in on in
filthy aircraft bathrooms and seats beneath blanket
between blankets. Um, Isn't that like a big deal
if you do that, Rob? Isn't that like has something
to do with the Patriot Act or something where
you're interfering with a flight? I mean, pre
-9 -11, I don't think it was that big of a deal.
You'd probably get a slap on the hand, but now
I think you're looking at jail time, aren't you?
I believe. Yeah, I take you over now. Okay, that's
what I thought. Yeah, I take... Oh, go ahead.
Yeah, that's what I was thinking, too. I thought
the Patriot Act or whatever they covered that
in, I think it was the Patriot Act, had some
very strong wording on stuff like that and kind
of put it in the same class as, like, maybe terrorism,
I think. Yeah, I think so, too. Myst, however,
isn't dismayed by the risque display. The Skyway
siren even teased that she's enjoyed some fun
in the clouds during a shift or two. But for
great sex on the fly, she says, aviators and
attendants must adhere to the strict set of rules.
Pilots in the cockpit, the flight attendant suggested
that her fellow air people engage in mid -flight
sex when flying on smooth routes with crew members
they trust. So that would be like a Kansas City
to Chicago. Or, no, probably a Kansas City to
Dallas. Something like that. That would probably
be the one that a lot of action happens on because
that's pretty much an autopilot situation. There's
usually not that much turbulence going to Dallas.
It's a short flight. It's an hour and like 10
minutes in the air at the most. That would be
one. It'd be a fast, quick flight. That's usually
pretty calm. Okay, number one, mislisted. Make
sure you work with a crew that you can trust.
Also know your plan to have sex. Number two,
you pick a flight that you know has a route that's
normally a smooth ride. Once you have those two
things, the third one is super easy, the brunette
assured. Have one pilot come out of the cockpit
and one flight attendant go in. I've actually
seen that before on planes. So, yeah, and I always
wondered about that. I was like, I wonder why
that, you know. How come one of the pilots came
out and one of the, you know, crew members went
in? I was always like, huh, what could they possibly
be telling them that the other, you know, the
other driver, you know, would know more about,
you know, another pilot would know more about
it, you know, of anything going on than a flight
attendant, right? I mean, what's she doing telling
how many cokes she gave out? Oh, yeah, we gave
out 32, a couple of ginger ales and some coffee.
You know, I... Yeah, so I wondered about that.
Four social media viewers blame sexy flight crews
for the recent uptick in plane crashes. And all
the while, unsuspecting jet setters are cluelessly
waiting for coffee service. Passengers have absolutely
no idea what is going down in that flight deck,
Miss Chuckled. The plane is on autopilot. Yep,
I knew that would happen because a Kansas City
to Dallas flight, they probably use autopilot
anyhow, don't you think? Yeah, they probably
would. Yeah. So, but her revelations did not
surprise travelers at all. 89 % of them said
they suspected it, and it was no shock. So, that's
it for that one. You got something? Yeah, I do.
Country star Keith Urban abruptly ended an Australian
radio interview this week after hosts asked him
an intimate question. Nicole Kidman, award -winning
actress and Urban's wife of 19 years. Hayley
Pearson and Max Buford of Mix 102 .3 in Adelaide,
Australia, presented a question during their
Wall of Truth, where they asked guests to answer
a very tricky question, a deeply personal question,
according to Rolling Stone. think when he sees
his beautiful wife with beautiful younger men
like Zach Efron having these beautiful love scenes
on TV? Buford asked. After Peterson said she
was uncomfortable posing the question. According
to Rolling Stone, the musician and his team then
disconnected from Zoom because they didn't Do
you think that question's out of bounds? I don't.
Honestly, I think I'd hang up, too. Seriously?
Really? Yeah, I mean, you're getting into their
personal life, you know? Yeah, I guess so. I
guess so. You see, I kind of figured they'd been
asked that a million times, is what I thought.
Yeah, they've probably been asked it a million
times, and it's probably something. I know I
wouldn't want to face it if I was... in a relationship
like that. Yeah, that would be rough to handle
to sit there and go, oh, okay. It's bad not knowing
it happens. You don't want to talk about it.
Yeah, you would have to have a lot of trust in
your partner, and that could be why so many Hollywood
marriages fail. Well, that's why they've been
together 19 years. You know what? You're right.
They have that trust. Yeah, you're right. You're
right. Yep. Wow. Pretty cool. Did we take our
second break or not, Rob? I can't remember. Hell,
I don't remember. I don't think we did. Let's
take our second break here real quick, okay?
Okay. All right. We'll be right back. It's been
a long week already, guys. It has. Jeez. Hey,
my fellow heavy breathers. This is Dash Riptide.
Your music news. Jakey Lee has an update on his
would -be assassins. The gun was tied to two
previous murders, Jakey Lee shares. The former
Ozzy Osbourne guitarist confirms that suspects
have been caught and will face sentencing in
July. The 68 -year -old guitarist was best known
for his tenure in Ozzy Osbourne between 1982
and 1987. Previously revealed that he was shot
multiple times while walking his dog in Las Vegas.
Now, when a Facebook post shared last week, Lee
says that justice is on the horizon. The two
that shot me have been caught and face sentencing
next month, he writes. The gun was tied to two
previous murders, so my case is almost an afterthought.
They're going bye -bye for a long time. On that
happy thought, see you on TV. Jakey Lee also
chimed in on why he is going to be a part of
Ozzy's farewell performance on July 5th. Tom
Morello called me, he said. There's going to
be a thing. An original Sabbath performance in
Ozzy Osbourne's final performance. I can't see
this going on without Jakey Lee in there somewhere,
he recalls. Lee, who played on hits like Bark
at the Moon and Killer Giants during his stint
with Ozzy Osbourne in the 80s, says he's excited
about the upcoming show, both as a participant,
as an audience member, even if he hasn't been
in contact with Ozzy for years. It's a thrill
to be a part of it, he says, and even more so
for me to watch it. I hope Ozzy can get through
it. I haven't spoke to him or seen him in decades.
I really don't know what condition he's in, but
he deserves a final farewell performance. No
matter how he is or how well he is singing, he
deserves to have that final farewell. I'm happy
to be a part of it. Thank you, Jake. We appreciate
this. This is Gash Riptine, and that was your
music news. If it's too loud, you probably have
ear damage, just like me. Rob consumed small
doses of radiation for 30 years. Rob is immune
to radiation. Watch him glow. Watch Rob Red jump
up 25 feet and grab birds out of thin air with
his mouth. With his mouth! Rob can now be lent
for children's parties and bar mitzvahs. That's
right. Come on and rent you a Rob today. That's
right. Come by and rent Rob for a day. A day.
A day. Watch Rob consume seven bottles of night
cream and still break dance and moonwalk. Watch
Rob Red. Fart down a building. Fart down a building.
Rob Red assumes no responsibility whatsoever.
He is not a babysitter and he doesn't give one
hell of a shit about your children. Please remember
to corral every little bastard you have. Before
Rob gets there, and Walt will not put up with
any backtalk, he will promptly get them in the
place. Rob Rehag assumes no responsibility for
anything that could be stolen from his visit.
Rob Rehag has no responsibility whatsoever in
any help him of any situation. Read a Rob today.
And now, Deep Thoughts with Mark. So, if I have
a glass of ice water, and the ice melts, Into
the water. Is my water then watered down? Hmm.
I may never know. Hi all. This is Chicago. I
am the most dangerous city in North America.
You can't touch me. Oh yeah? This is Kansas City
here. Hold my beer, bitch. Two douchebags, a
microphone, and an effort to keep everything
fresh. We offer you first world problems. Oh,
shit. Look at that drive -thru wine. Surely we
don't expect me to actually have to go in. This
sucks. And now we look in on the adventures of
the technical explanation guy. Why, excuse me,
my dear chap. Could you please pass the sodium
chloride? Do you mean the salt? Why, yes. Yes,
I do. Then just say the salt, you dumb motherfucker.
Have you ever wondered what something came about?
Have you ever looked at something and said, Hey,
I wonder what the origin of that is? Well, so
have we. That's why we give you... The origin
of. This is the origin of two douchebags and
microphone. It all started a couple of years
ago when Topher and I realized we can annoy people
really easily at will. We decided to take it
a little further and start a podcast to try to
annoy more people at a much larger level. It
worked so well, we brought our annoying friend
Rob in for the whole gig. So now you have three
horrible podcasts out of one horrible podcast.
You're welcome, America. Strange, but true. Albert
Titanic Chadwick was born aboard the Titanic
on April 14, 1912, during its tragic collision
with the iceberg. His mother, in honor of the
catastrophic event, gave him the middle name,
Titanic. Miraculously, Albert survived the disaster
and his life continued beyond the tragedy. He
passed away April 19, 1983, and was later buried
in Shurston, United Kingdom. Anyhow, to Douchebag's
microphone, I'm Mark here in Kansas City area
at the Talk is Cheap studio. And this is Rob,
the beautiful maglar arm in the cave, unfortunately.
At Lake of the Ozarks. Yep. Okay. Rob, I guess
you're not the only person crocheting. Young
people are taking on so -called grandma hobbies.
Gen Z sewing a side hustle. How Gen Z is turning
their DIY skills into micro -brands. Sewing is
no longer just a hobby, but a viable career path
for many Gen Z entrepreneurs. By leveraging their
DIY skills, creativity, and social media prowess,
these young makers are building micro -brands
that are gaining traction in the fashion industry.
So Gen Zs do a lot of sewing -based side hustles
and learn how a DYI skill can be turned into
a full -fledged business. The rise of social
media has given birth to a new wave of entrepreneurs,
and Gen Z is at the forefront of this creative
revolution. Leveraging their sewing skills, these
young makers are crafting unique pieces that
resonate with audiences globally. As we dive
into the world of Gen Z's sewing side hustles,
one thing is clear. The art of sewing has never
been more exciting. I beg to differ, but whatever.
I mean, if you're making Jeffy X's stuff, I understand,
right? That's cool? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I turn
on some good music and just go to town on it.
All right. Okay. So, there's more to this, but
I wanted to talk about this for a minute because...
They are crocheting is one of the biggest things
they do. They do stuff. They use different types
of fabric. And what they do is they do art on
them. They do blankets. And they post them online
for sale. And a lot of these Gen Zers have a
really good side hustle or if not just a lucrative
business doing this. And it's a grandma hobby
per se. Alright, Rob, you got something or you
want to end this shit show? I got another one.
Alright. An alleged intruder who used brass knuckles
to beat against a front door and break a window
just before midnight in Missouri was shot multiple
times by the homeowner and killed. Alright. Fair
enough. with his wife at the time of the incident.
Glastetter told the suspect, 31 -year -old John
Fisher, that he was armed. Fisher allegedly responded
by saying, you'll have to kill me. Glastetter
then shot Fisher multiple times. The Scott County
Sheriff's Office issued a release noting that
deputies arrived on the scene to find Fisher
deceased. proportion of the release, the sheriff's
office observed, based on initial findings, the
homeowner's actions appear to have been justified
in defense of themselves and their household.
The safety and protection of one's home is a
fundamental right. In an update released, the
sheriff's office pointed out that Glastetter
fired six shots at Bishop. The sheriff's office
also explained Mr. Glastetter, Acted in self
-defense in accordance with Missouri revised
statutes. Wow. Which governs the justifiable
use of force in defense of persons. Yeah. Six
shots. Okay. Okay. Still justified. Yeah. Still
justified. Here's what I'm saying. don't do that
and you won't get murdered or killed, not murdered.
Oh, exactly. Exactly. We've talked about this
before. I've had a few different sheriffs in
a few different counties tell me, if you shoot
somebody, drag them inside your doorway. Yep,
that is exactly what they said. Growing up in
Cleveland, Missouri, Cass County, allegedly,
word on the street, said, if this punk keeps
bothering you, And he's threatening you. And
he's on your front porch. If you shoot him, you
drag him inside. We don't have enough money in
our budget to do any type of investigation. So
he's dead. You're alive. We have to take your
word. He can't talk. We were told that several
times. Do what? I said right. That's exactly
what we were told. Yeah. Yep. So there are some
people that are pretty lucky they didn't get
shot. I can tell you that. Yeah. Yeah, there's
a few of them. So it doesn't matter anyhow. They're
probably all dead by now anyhow. And if not,
they probably wish they were. So let's see. What
else? Oh, I extended the invitation for Biggins'
parents to email me so I could get them on here.
And they refused. I told them, I said, I'll tell
you exactly what I said. And, you know, if you
want to say something about it or whatever, that's
fine with us. You can say whatever you want.
We don't care. But they declined. So I'm going
to have to say that, you know what? they couldn't
care too much about what I said, right? Yeah.
Yeah. So, anyhow, you want to end this or you
want to keep going? Actually, that's all I had
for tonight. Unless you've got something else.
I have some stuff, but it's going to take a while.
That's why I asked you. I have a couple of rather
long articles that are going to be hard to cut
in half or just take the bullet points from.
So I think we probably should end it, and I'll
just do them Sunday night. That sounds good.
All righty. I'll have more time to prepare. All
right. Sounds good. All right, Rob. Thank you
for joining me, like always. Thank you, assholes,
for listening. Good night, assholes. Good night,
assholes, and have a safe Fourth of July. Yes.
Yes. Come back with all your digits. You'll need
them. Yes. Can you imagine jerking off with three
fingers? Just wouldn't feel right. I don't even
want to imagine. No, no, no. Your life would
be ruined after that. You could never jerk off
and feel great again. You'd always have a weird
feeling, like you're having a handicapped person
jerking you off, right? Yep. Yep. It wouldn't
be fun. So, watch your fingers. Have a good night,
assholes. Good night, assholes. Oh, no. Looks
like the show's over, kids. Mark has explosive
diarrhea and can't afford a wireless mic. Fear
not, assholes. They'll be back invading your
ear holes soon. Oh, no. Looks like the show's
over, kids. Mark has explosive diarrhea and can't
afford a wireless mic. Fear not, assholes. They'll
be back invading your ear holes soon.