WEBVTT

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Hey, you fucking derelicts. It's time for the

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Daily Douchebag Pledge. I, Joe or Jane Listener,

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hereby promise to download the show. I, Joe or

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Jane Listener. Hereby promise to grab other people's

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phones, unattended computers, public computers,

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and all of my work computers as well, and download

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the show from there. I, Joe or Jane Listener,

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hereby promise to make other people listen. I,

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Joe or Jane Listener. will hereby lie to everyone

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about how quality the show is. I, Joe or Jane

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Listener, promise to make all my family members

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listen and recite the daily douchebag pledge.

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And finally, I, Joe or Jane Listener, hereby

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promise to make the trek to Knobloch, Missouri,

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just to have a selfie with the Knobloch sign.

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Here at Two Douchebags and a Microphone, we don't

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stand behind our journalistic integrity. Go ahead

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and assume we got the story wrong. At least we

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admit it. Not like all those other guys, we can

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and will lie if it makes the story better. Two

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douchebags and a microphone. Swimming in toxic

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masculinity and wiping their ass with politically

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correct wash rags. Two douchebags and a microphone

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invade your ear holes in three. Two. One. Hey

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there, fuckstick. You're just in time for brand

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new feature news nobody gives a shit about. In

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Tulipo, Mississippi, a structural steel company

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built a small bridge to go over a pothole that

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had been on the road for three years. A man is

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still a man. Rob consumed small doses of radiation

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for 30 years. Rob is immune to radiation. Watch

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him glow. Watch Rob Red jump up 25 feet and grab

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birds out of thin air with his mouth. With his

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mouth. Rob can now be a mentor for children's

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parties and bar mitzvahs. That's right. Come

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on and rent you a Rob today. That's right. Come

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by and rent Rob for a day. A day. A day. Watch

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Rob consume seven bottles of night cream and

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still break dance and moonwalk. Watch Rob Red.

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Fart down a building. Fart down a building. Rob

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Red assumes no responsibility whatsoever. He

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is not a babysitter and he doesn't give one else

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a shit about your children. Please remember to

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corral every little bastard you have. Before

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Rob gets there, and while we'll not put up with

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any backtalk, he will promptly get them in the

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place. Rob Rayad assumes no responsibility for

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anything that could be stolen from his visit.

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Rob Rayad has no responsibility whatsoever in

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any help him of any situation. Read a Rob today.

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Hey there, Corn Flakes. This is Reggie with Ty

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with your music news. Whitesnake was forced to

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cancel European tour in 2024 due to David Coperdale's

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reoccurring respiratory infection. The founder

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and frontman is better, and the Snakes are set

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to perform in Norway at their biggest rock festival

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this year. We will keep you posted on any other

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dates added to 2025 season. Don't forget, buy

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one, get one free. Geritol when your ticket's

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done. This is Reggie Riptide reporting for the

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Douchebags. Go on, get the hell out of here.

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Don't you have something to do? Jeez, lazy fucks.

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So you want proof that we love you here at QD

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Spades and Microphone Central? Here's a proof

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right here about the drink of the week. Hey there,

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you little snack cakes. This is Norwegian's Best

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Drinks. Norwegian Cruise Lime has long been known

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as one of the best drink makers on the high seas,

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if not the best. In this drink, it's no different.

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It's one of the most popular, and it's really

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good. A smoked peach margarita. It involves one

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ounce of 1800 silver tequila, one half ounce

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of mezcal, a quarter ounce of triple sec, half

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ounce of organic agave, half ounce of peach puree,

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and one half ounces of fresh wine juice. Garnish

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with hibiscus salt on the rim and dried blood

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orange slices on the rim. Add only ingredients

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and shake. And don't be bashful. Shake like nuts.

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And then print in a glass with crushed ice and

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enjoy. Next up, things overheard in hell. Well,

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that new Hanson CD is just a laptop. Uh -huh.

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Two douchebags and microphone. I'm Mark here

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in Kansas City. And I'm Mark, or I am Rob at

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the beautiful 9 -1 -1. Don't let him fool you.

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We have a little technical difficulties. Yeah,

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and if this one is cut short, it's not our fault.

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No, it's Bluetooth. Yeah, that little piece of

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shit's about ready to get kicked across the road.

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Uh, okay. Anyhow. Uh, so how are you doing, Rob?

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Oh, I'm doing great. I'm doing great. Good. Good

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to hear. Yeah, life's good. I have a family union

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coming up this Saturday over at Palm Couture.

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Oh, good. Uh, Sam's going with me, and my son's

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going with me, and my daughter's trying to get

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off work to go with me, so. Okay. Well, this

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is the first year without mom. I'm even taking

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Blackie, my mom's. 23 pounds. And now he's smaller.

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He's losing weight now. Oh, yeah? Yeah, well,

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I'm walking. Oh, okay. Yeah, you know what? Yeah,

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that probably makes a hell of a difference right

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there. Yeah, he's doing a lot better. Okay, good.

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Good. So, the other night I went to Outlaw Cigar

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and Brewery in North Kansas City. That place

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was a bomb, Rob. I cannot believe how cool it

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was. It was huge. It was a full bar. It had leather

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recliners all over and huge TV screens everywhere.

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A large humidor. A great selection of craft brews

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that they brew right there. Bar made so you can

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just sit there, smoke, and drink and not move.

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I love the place. I just thought I'd give a shout

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out to them and let locals know how cool that

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place is. I had a Christoph Triple Ligero with

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a South African Cameroon wrapper. And then I

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had an amber ale brewed right there, a recliner,

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a Royals game, and it was nice. But the Royals

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game turned out not to be so good. They committed

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like, I don't know, five errors in the fucking

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bottom of the eighth and ended up losing. But

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you know what? We didn't care because we were

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having a drink. and a friend of ours was moving

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off to St. Louis that we worked with, and we're

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kind of seeing him off, and all went and had

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a cigar and a beer. But that place is amazing.

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So if you're around Kansas City, check that out.

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It's the one in North Kansas City. All of them

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are cool. This one is not a BYOB like the other

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ones are, or at least the one in Johnson County,

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the one on 135th and Metcalfe is bring your own

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bottle, and then, you know, they supply this

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tobacco. But anyhow, that place is cooler than

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hell. It's not BYOB, but it's a damn good place

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to have a cigar and a drink. And it looks to

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me like watch a game because we're already making

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plans to go watch a couple of Chiefs games there.

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So anyhow, I just thought I'd mention it. I didn't

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get a chance to mention it the other night. So

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anyhow, Rob, there is a... Residents will gather

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Saturday in a scenic Minneapolis neighborhood

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for an annual ritual. The sharpening of a gigantic

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number two pencil. I'm not kidding you. Dude.

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What? I think I did that story here a while back.

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So they actually did sharpen it. Yes, yes, they

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did. Yeah, I did that story here a while back.

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There's a town where their town emblem is a number

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two pencil. Yeah, I just found the story. Where

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they just sharpened it the other day. So they

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had, yeah, it's a festival they have every year.

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Yes. And they sharpened this pencil. Uh -huh.

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It's a 20 -foot tall pencil that was sculpted

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out of a mammoth oak tree. Yeah. The home of

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John and Amy Higgins. The beloved tree was damaged

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in a storm a few years ago when fierce winds

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twisted the crown off. Neighbors mourned. A couple

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even wept. But you know what? I mean, whoever

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wept. Um, you know, they, they should have just

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went home, you know? So anyhow, um, so they,

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um, they sharpen it and they had a good time

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and, um, they did this though, Rob, because they

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sharpened it on Prince's, what would have been

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his 67th birthday. If he could have handled his

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drugs a little bit better, he would have been

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67 that day. So they handed out purple pencils

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in, uh, in a salute to prince so i thought i

00:10:13.580 --> 00:10:18.519
thought that's cool um and uh then um over uh

00:10:18.519 --> 00:10:21.580
across well let's see where was it at shit it

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doesn't say here um some dipshit called the cops

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on walmart after he accidentally overcharged

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himself for a thousand dollars at a self -checkout

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he was trying to ring up nine avocados but instead

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he hit 999 avocados I'm not even sure the cops

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responded. I could see where that would happen,

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man. I do, too, because... I mean, come on. It

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goes back to the self -checkout stuff. You let

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people do your own thing, you're going to fuck

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up. Serve somebody that's paid to do this. Yeah,

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I agree. Yeah. And also, I mean, the... The cops

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probably didn't even respond. You know, I don't

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even know why he couldn't have looked at the

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screen. I mean, why do you call the cops? You

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know, you see a thousand dollars, right? You

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don't put your card in, right? You go, hey, wait

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a minute, wait a minute. I'm not paying a thousand

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dollars for these avocados. So I don't understand

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what the idiot did. You know what I mean? He

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called the cops. Did he pay it? Yeah, I would

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have called someone over there immediately and

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said, hey. Yeah, come here. How many avocados

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here? You count. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, I mean,

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999 avocados. He must have hit a wrong button.

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But what I'm saying is, is when you're looking

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at the screen, right? Don't you go, hmm, a thousand

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bucks. I'm not going to put my card in. It sounds

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to me like this dummy put his card in. And then

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he called the cops on Walmart for overcharging

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him. You see what I'm saying? Wouldn't you look

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and go, ah, a thousand bucks? That's kind of

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suspicious. Yeah. See what I mean? Oh, well.

00:12:20.580 --> 00:12:24.320
But still, I can see where the average everyday

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Joe, somebody like us, getting off of work, rushing

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to Walmart, grabs some avocados, hit a wrong

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fucking button because... They're too damn cheap

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to hire employees. Yeah. You know, I'm sorry.

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I am totally against the self -checkout. Oh,

00:12:43.129 --> 00:12:46.049
so am I. I hate them. I hate them. But sometimes

00:12:46.049 --> 00:12:49.669
we have to do it, and I hate it. Oh, I do, too.

00:12:50.149 --> 00:12:53.490
Because to me, it looks to me like Walmart...

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That's why we pay these store prices to pay these

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employees. Yeah. Not to put money in the... You

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see, to me, it looks like they force you to go

00:13:04.350 --> 00:13:06.629
through self -checkout, okay? You go and you

00:13:06.629 --> 00:13:10.330
need some sugar and lemon, okay? So you run down

00:13:10.330 --> 00:13:13.370
to Walmart. You get a sugar and some lemon, all

00:13:13.370 --> 00:13:15.889
right? And you're on your way out. They only

00:13:15.889 --> 00:13:18.690
have one checker there. So that line is naturally

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backed up to hell. I mean, just all the way back.

00:13:21.549 --> 00:13:23.529
So you're going to go to the self -checkout.

00:13:24.110 --> 00:13:27.470
It's like they force you to do it by not having

00:13:27.470 --> 00:13:36.769
enough help, right? No, I would most of the times,

00:13:36.769 --> 00:13:39.330
but I'm not going to wait for an hour just to

00:13:39.330 --> 00:13:42.049
prove a point. I'm going to go, oh, fuck. I'm

00:13:42.049 --> 00:13:44.909
going to go through the self -checkout. Especially

00:13:44.909 --> 00:13:48.610
when you're on your way home from work, tired,

00:13:48.990 --> 00:13:52.470
hot, wore out. Yeah, and you don't feel like

00:13:52.470 --> 00:13:57.899
waiting in line. So, to me, it... It's a glorified

00:13:57.899 --> 00:14:00.620
way or not even glorified. It's a sneaky way

00:14:00.620 --> 00:14:02.720
of making you go through self -checkout to me.

00:14:03.200 --> 00:14:05.840
That's what I think it is. It's like, sure, we

00:14:05.840 --> 00:14:08.259
have some, we have regular checkout lines, but

00:14:08.259 --> 00:14:12.059
there's only one of them. And it's packed all

00:14:12.059 --> 00:14:15.000
the way back to the corner. Well, you can go

00:14:15.000 --> 00:14:17.440
through it if you want. Well, I don't have an

00:14:17.440 --> 00:14:19.519
hour to spend here. So what are you going to

00:14:19.519 --> 00:14:21.519
do? You have to go through self -checkout. So

00:14:21.519 --> 00:14:28.159
anyhow, so today I was, I'm blasting off the

00:14:28.159 --> 00:14:30.720
back of the deck because I've got to restain

00:14:30.720 --> 00:14:34.620
it, right? So, the power washer I have, it's

00:14:34.620 --> 00:14:39.840
a really nice one. And it's 3200 PSI, which is

00:14:39.840 --> 00:14:42.279
pretty powerful, right? Gasoline powered. Nice.

00:14:42.419 --> 00:14:47.419
Yeah. It's a Husqvarna. So, the damn thing. Nice

00:14:47.419 --> 00:14:51.360
motor. Nice motor. Yeah, yeah. It should be working

00:14:51.360 --> 00:14:55.759
good. It's only two years old. I take it and

00:14:55.759 --> 00:14:59.779
I start using it and it fouls out on me. So I'm

00:14:59.779 --> 00:15:01.700
like, all right. I take a look at it. I'm like,

00:15:01.799 --> 00:15:05.299
okay. Spark plug looks, yeah, looks questionable.

00:15:05.700 --> 00:15:09.320
So I change the plug out and then I start it

00:15:09.320 --> 00:15:12.700
up. It starts up fine. It's running great. And

00:15:12.700 --> 00:15:15.179
then I move it to another part of the deck and

00:15:15.179 --> 00:15:18.299
it stops and it won't start again. So I take

00:15:18.299 --> 00:15:21.500
all the gas out of it from last year. Okay. I

00:15:21.500 --> 00:15:26.080
put in fresh gas, new gas. and it started again

00:15:26.080 --> 00:15:29.340
for about a minute, and then right in the middle

00:15:29.340 --> 00:15:32.840
of spraying off the deck, it stops. So I couldn't

00:15:32.840 --> 00:15:37.799
figure it out. They don't have a gas filter on

00:15:37.799 --> 00:15:39.919
them. They just have a carburetor that you can

00:15:39.919 --> 00:15:42.379
clean out. So I got in there. I cleaned out the

00:15:42.379 --> 00:15:44.740
carburetor, looked at the air filter. Everything

00:15:44.740 --> 00:15:48.639
looks fine. So I'm like, damn it. So what do

00:15:48.639 --> 00:15:53.340
you think? Oil? You think it's the oil that's

00:15:53.340 --> 00:15:56.039
running low in it? Would it shut itself off and

00:15:56.039 --> 00:16:00.879
not start if that's the case? Yeah. Okay, well,

00:16:00.940 --> 00:16:03.799
I'll take a look. I mean, it's a little late

00:16:03.799 --> 00:16:08.200
now because what I... No, no, I used a couple

00:16:08.200 --> 00:16:11.059
power washers where if the oil was running low,

00:16:11.200 --> 00:16:14.080
it would shut off. That's good to know. I'll

00:16:14.080 --> 00:16:16.320
check that because... Because on power washers,

00:16:16.320 --> 00:16:20.019
you go through oil. You do. Oh, yeah, yeah, that's

00:16:20.019 --> 00:16:22.480
why they supply you with a quart of oil, yeah.

00:16:22.659 --> 00:16:25.379
Yeah. Okay, and you also go through gas, too.

00:16:25.600 --> 00:16:28.659
Check the oil, I'm just saying. Okay, no, I will,

00:16:28.720 --> 00:16:31.620
I'll do that, because I was going to buy, I was

00:16:31.620 --> 00:16:33.580
going to send it in, because I wasn't sure, you

00:16:33.580 --> 00:16:35.460
know, I didn't have time to dick with it. I looked

00:16:35.460 --> 00:16:37.759
it over, and like you said, I covered the two

00:16:37.759 --> 00:16:39.519
bases that I knew of, and those are all done.

00:16:39.519 --> 00:16:42.799
Well, what I'm saying is check the oil. I will.

00:16:42.860 --> 00:16:46.500
Before you go any further. Okay, I will, because

00:16:46.500 --> 00:16:52.700
I didn't. Okay, I'll let you know next podcast

00:16:52.700 --> 00:16:55.139
whether that worked or not, or I'll send you

00:16:55.139 --> 00:16:58.779
a text. Only because I know power washers. Okay,

00:16:58.879 --> 00:17:00.659
well, I wish I wouldn't have known him that good

00:17:00.659 --> 00:17:03.679
because here's what happened, all right? So I'm

00:17:03.679 --> 00:17:05.599
like, all right, well, I'm going to have to send

00:17:05.599 --> 00:17:07.440
this in because I'm not getting rid of this thing.

00:17:07.539 --> 00:17:09.359
It's too good of, you know, power washers, right?

00:17:09.420 --> 00:17:12.019
This is a nice one. So I'm like, okay, I'm going

00:17:12.019 --> 00:17:14.079
to have to take it into a small engine shop and

00:17:14.079 --> 00:17:15.900
have them look at it, all right? So I'm like,

00:17:15.920 --> 00:17:17.380
all right, well, that's going to take too long.

00:17:18.059 --> 00:17:19.900
Because I want to get this deck done because

00:17:19.900 --> 00:17:21.980
I have too much other stuff I have to do after

00:17:21.980 --> 00:17:24.220
that besides getting a pool going and all that.

00:17:24.819 --> 00:17:29.180
So I take it, I put it to the side, and I'm like,

00:17:29.200 --> 00:17:31.180
you know what? I'll go to Facebook Marketplace,

00:17:31.180 --> 00:17:33.599
and I'll look for a cheap used one, and I'll

00:17:33.599 --> 00:17:36.019
use that in the interim until this gets fixed.

00:17:36.460 --> 00:17:40.019
So I'm getting on there, and I find this brand

00:17:40.019 --> 00:17:44.579
new in the box. I didn't even know Ryobi made

00:17:44.579 --> 00:17:51.089
these. 4 ,000 PSI gas. pressure washer for 200

00:17:51.089 --> 00:17:57.190
it's normally 650 yes so i bought it and this

00:17:57.190 --> 00:18:00.750
thing works like a dream and i'm like wow and

00:18:00.750 --> 00:18:03.210
i couldn't believe it for 200 bucks i got a hell

00:18:03.210 --> 00:18:05.990
of a deal i mean i don't think it's ripped off

00:18:05.990 --> 00:18:08.539
the guy said that he bought it And I've done

00:18:08.539 --> 00:18:10.740
this before. You just didn't have time to do

00:18:10.740 --> 00:18:12.559
what you planned on doing, so you had somebody

00:18:12.559 --> 00:18:13.940
do it. And he's like, you know, it's been sitting

00:18:13.940 --> 00:18:16.039
in the box the whole time. He goes, you know,

00:18:16.119 --> 00:18:18.259
I just want to get rid of it, 200 bucks. I'm

00:18:18.259 --> 00:18:21.619
like, all right. So he lives in Olathe. I live

00:18:21.619 --> 00:18:24.960
near Martin City, right? So he goes, you want

00:18:24.960 --> 00:18:29.480
to meet halfway? I'm like, okay, sure, that sounds

00:18:29.480 --> 00:18:33.720
fair. So I go to him. I go 135th and Metcalf.

00:18:34.410 --> 00:18:37.309
And he replies back, this is just online, not

00:18:37.309 --> 00:18:40.650
talking over the phone or seeing each other in

00:18:40.650 --> 00:18:45.970
person. And he goes, that's a bit far. I'm like,

00:18:46.029 --> 00:18:48.369
huh? It's about 10 minutes from him and 10 minutes

00:18:48.369 --> 00:18:53.549
from me. Yeah. So I'm like, okay. I go, well,

00:18:53.589 --> 00:18:55.470
you tell me where you want me to meet you at.

00:18:55.710 --> 00:18:59.470
I'll drive to your fucking house. I was going

00:18:59.470 --> 00:19:02.309
to. I was going to. I would say. I was going

00:19:02.309 --> 00:19:03.809
to. I said, where's your house at? I'll come

00:19:03.809 --> 00:19:07.509
there. And he goes, he responded back, no, no,

00:19:07.529 --> 00:19:09.049
no, that wouldn't be fair. I'll meet you halfway.

00:19:09.349 --> 00:19:12.730
And he goes, oh, no, no, no, no. Here's what

00:19:12.730 --> 00:19:14.710
happened. I got it. It's a great washer, but

00:19:14.710 --> 00:19:17.569
here's what happened. He goes, hey, how about

00:19:17.569 --> 00:19:22.390
Redbridge? That's a mile away from me. And I'm

00:19:22.390 --> 00:19:26.509
like, okay, yeah. He goes, you think that's about

00:19:26.509 --> 00:19:31.069
halfway? Yeah, on the other side. And I'm like,

00:19:31.170 --> 00:19:32.809
oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I didn't even think about

00:19:32.809 --> 00:19:35.190
that. That's halfway. No problem. I can meet

00:19:35.190 --> 00:19:40.009
you there. I don't know if Google was like, he

00:19:40.009 --> 00:19:45.589
put it in wrong. Okay, just to clarify to those

00:19:45.589 --> 00:19:51.509
that don't know, where Markle is, Redbridge is

00:19:51.509 --> 00:20:06.529
on the east? Yes, north and east. Which is a

00:20:06.529 --> 00:20:15.589
mile away from me. Yeah. Yeah. So I'm like, I'm

00:20:15.589 --> 00:20:18.009
sitting there looking at this, you know, the

00:20:18.009 --> 00:20:20.970
Facebook marketplace texting. I'm like, is this

00:20:20.970 --> 00:20:24.390
guy fucking with me? Or is he for real? And he

00:20:24.390 --> 00:20:25.930
goes, all right. He goes, it'll take me about

00:20:25.930 --> 00:20:29.269
15 minutes to get there. I'll see you there.

00:20:31.019 --> 00:20:33.579
I'm like, what? Okay. So I get there, and I'm

00:20:33.579 --> 00:20:35.559
like going, I hope he wasn't screwing with me.

00:20:35.940 --> 00:20:38.940
He wasn't. He shows up and goes, hey, thanks

00:20:38.940 --> 00:20:43.000
for meeting me halfway. Yeah, sure, sure. It

00:20:43.000 --> 00:20:48.680
was the only fair thing to do. I still don't

00:20:48.680 --> 00:20:51.759
know. He must have put it in wrong. He must have

00:20:51.759 --> 00:20:57.299
put in like, I don't know, maybe 179th, not 159th,

00:20:57.299 --> 00:21:14.619
or 135th. Oh. You know what? You know what, Rob?

00:21:14.819 --> 00:21:18.440
That could be what it is. I don't know. But I'm

00:21:18.440 --> 00:21:21.160
just like flabbergasted. I'm like, sure. I'll

00:21:21.160 --> 00:21:23.400
meet you. Yeah, that sounds halfway. Yeah, you're

00:21:23.400 --> 00:21:34.640
right. I'll meet you there. I need to do mine.

00:21:34.859 --> 00:21:37.539
I'll need to do mine. Mine still reads Cleveland,

00:21:37.680 --> 00:21:39.339
Missouri, and I have not lived there in a long

00:21:39.339 --> 00:21:44.859
time. Mine reads right here in the bunker. Oh,

00:21:44.859 --> 00:21:48.240
is yours on the bunker? It actually is up to

00:21:48.240 --> 00:21:53.859
date? Yeah, it's wherever I am. Okay. My address

00:21:53.859 --> 00:22:02.230
ain't on that shit. Okay. My address isn't on

00:22:02.230 --> 00:22:04.230
it either, but I did find my phone number on

00:22:04.230 --> 00:22:05.950
there, and I was like, what the hell? I don't

00:22:05.950 --> 00:22:08.670
know what I was thinking of, but I took it off.

00:22:12.549 --> 00:22:21.329
Yeah, to me, a phone number on Facebook sounds

00:22:21.329 --> 00:22:26.339
like a bad idea. Yeah, yeah, yep. So anyhow,

00:22:26.400 --> 00:22:29.099
I get this really nice pressure washer and I

00:22:29.099 --> 00:22:31.680
only had to drive a mile for it. And him and

00:22:31.680 --> 00:22:34.440
his friend loaded it up in my Jeep for me. I

00:22:34.440 --> 00:22:37.579
was like, I was going home going, that was pretty

00:22:37.579 --> 00:22:41.839
fucking tough. That worked out really well. So

00:22:41.839 --> 00:22:47.160
anyhow, it worked well. So now I got the back

00:22:47.160 --> 00:22:49.519
deck almost all the way sprayed off and all the

00:22:49.519 --> 00:22:52.079
gunk off of it and all the tarnish and all that

00:22:52.079 --> 00:22:54.420
stuff. Because, you know. You know as well as

00:22:54.420 --> 00:22:56.660
I do because you've done home improvement before

00:22:56.660 --> 00:22:59.299
and handyman stuff. Well, hey, now that you've

00:22:59.299 --> 00:23:01.420
got a pressure washer, I need to borrow one.

00:23:01.839 --> 00:23:05.640
Okay. I should have two of them up and going

00:23:05.640 --> 00:23:09.119
here before too much longer. Two really good

00:23:09.119 --> 00:23:17.279
ones. So, yeah. Anyhow. My landlord does his

00:23:17.279 --> 00:23:26.150
shit. Oh, okay. So, shit. Oh, anyhow, I got that

00:23:26.150 --> 00:23:28.289
done, so now I got to do is figure out how come

00:23:28.289 --> 00:23:30.910
the swimming pool is not vacuuming. You know,

00:23:31.009 --> 00:23:33.549
we got an underground, right? And you know what

00:23:33.549 --> 00:23:35.890
I'm talking about, because you used to do swimming

00:23:35.890 --> 00:23:37.450
pools. I didn't come up and look at that for

00:23:37.450 --> 00:23:41.089
you. Okay. I think maybe there's some debris

00:23:41.089 --> 00:23:45.950
in there, possibly. I cannot this weekend. Okay.

00:23:46.089 --> 00:23:48.769
All right, well. I have a family reunion over

00:23:48.769 --> 00:23:51.549
at Palm Beach. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's

00:23:51.549 --> 00:23:53.690
cool. All right, and Shannon's going with you.

00:23:55.529 --> 00:23:59.829
Shannon and my son. Okay, good. Good. And if

00:23:59.829 --> 00:24:04.549
Rat can get off work, she's going too. Okay.

00:24:05.690 --> 00:24:09.089
That's cool. Good. That sounds like a good time.

00:24:09.250 --> 00:24:13.289
I doubt Joe Bill will get off work. Oh. And I'm

00:24:13.289 --> 00:24:15.829
taking Blackie, my mom's dog. Oh, that's cool.

00:24:16.109 --> 00:24:17.650
Yeah, that's going to suck. It's going to be

00:24:17.650 --> 00:24:20.529
the first one without your mom. Yes, exactly.

00:24:20.950 --> 00:24:24.809
Well, not just my mom. We lost my cousin's wife.

00:24:25.369 --> 00:24:27.710
Oh, yeah, I remember you telling me that. Yeah,

00:24:27.710 --> 00:24:30.750
yeah, back around Christmas. Right, yeah, back

00:24:30.750 --> 00:24:32.990
around Christmas. It was just like a couple weeks

00:24:32.990 --> 00:24:36.769
before my mom. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, me and him,

00:24:36.809 --> 00:24:39.930
they get close. We've been talking a lot. I've

00:24:39.930 --> 00:24:43.470
made a couple trips over there to see him. That's

00:24:43.470 --> 00:24:48.609
cool. Yeah. Good. Well, he was a drummer, man.

00:24:49.130 --> 00:24:53.710
Oh, really? You would love my cousin, Jim. He

00:24:53.710 --> 00:25:04.650
was a drummer. Cool. And he's, what, 62, 63,

00:25:04.890 --> 00:25:11.809
64, somewhere in there now. Uh -huh. And he played

00:25:11.809 --> 00:25:16.390
the drums at his wife's celebration of life.

00:25:16.750 --> 00:25:21.309
Oh. And dedicated some songs. I helped him set

00:25:21.309 --> 00:25:25.250
up his drum set and all that kind of shit. And

00:25:25.250 --> 00:25:31.849
we spent the night. We thought we'd sit around

00:25:31.849 --> 00:25:34.450
and get fucked up, partying like we used to.

00:25:34.730 --> 00:25:40.170
But no, dude. We were a couple old men. Sat around.

00:25:40.710 --> 00:25:44.269
He turned on some music on the TV and me and

00:25:44.269 --> 00:25:55.170
him sat. And he said, man. And he admitted during

00:25:55.170 --> 00:26:00.529
his wife's thing that that was the last time

00:26:00.529 --> 00:26:04.089
he was going to play live. Okay. You know what

00:26:04.089 --> 00:26:08.190
I mean? Yeah. And I didn't get it until that

00:26:08.190 --> 00:26:11.369
night when we were sitting around, me and him.

00:26:11.390 --> 00:26:16.829
He said, dude, I'm too old. My damn elbows. He

00:26:16.829 --> 00:26:20.630
works for. He works for a steel company, too.

00:26:21.069 --> 00:26:23.930
I mean, they make shit out of steel, too. Ooh,

00:26:23.930 --> 00:26:27.829
yeah. And he's older than I am. I'm like, dude,

00:26:27.970 --> 00:26:33.470
I get it. I get it. You know? Yeah. The fucking

00:26:33.470 --> 00:26:35.769
bodies are wearing out. We can't do the shit

00:26:35.769 --> 00:26:39.130
we did years ago. Mm -hmm. Yeah. Because I was

00:26:39.130 --> 00:26:41.990
wanting not to give up playing it, but I understand

00:26:41.990 --> 00:26:49.049
once he talked to me. You know? I get it. Yeah.

00:26:50.410 --> 00:26:52.190
Actually, I have a hard time playing guitar,

00:26:52.289 --> 00:26:55.210
too. Yeah. That's okay. We're getting older.

00:26:55.490 --> 00:27:00.390
Oh, I know. Arthritis. Arthritis in my hands.

00:27:00.509 --> 00:27:03.230
I can't do the same chords like I used to. I

00:27:03.230 --> 00:27:07.470
was thinking, did I diminish that much? No, what

00:27:07.470 --> 00:27:09.849
it is is it's my hand condition because I've

00:27:09.849 --> 00:27:12.650
worked with my hands so long, you know. And I

00:27:12.650 --> 00:27:14.309
know you know it, too, because you worked with

00:27:14.309 --> 00:27:17.819
your hands your whole life. Yes. Yeah, it's taking

00:27:17.819 --> 00:27:20.559
its toll on you. My elbows and my shoulders are

00:27:20.559 --> 00:27:24.319
giving out what it is. Oh, God. Yeah, lifting

00:27:24.319 --> 00:27:30.279
everything you do? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that sucks.

00:27:31.000 --> 00:27:35.160
So, I had another little thing going on. Evidently,

00:27:35.160 --> 00:27:38.519
Biggun's parents. Oh, go ahead. What? Yeah. Oh,

00:27:38.539 --> 00:27:42.319
Biggun. Go ahead. Yeah. Biggun the ball biter.

00:27:42.599 --> 00:27:45.299
You know, he passed away, like I, you know, announced.

00:27:45.799 --> 00:27:47.980
I guess his parents are a little bit pissed at

00:27:47.980 --> 00:27:52.539
me because I told everybody about him. Oh my

00:27:52.539 --> 00:27:56.119
God, seriously? Who told you that? A friend of

00:27:56.119 --> 00:27:58.299
mine said that they're not real happy with me.

00:27:58.779 --> 00:28:01.059
And I told him, I said, you can cut... So they

00:28:01.059 --> 00:28:03.819
listen to the show? I don't know if they do or

00:28:03.819 --> 00:28:05.500
not. I don't know if someone told them or they

00:28:05.500 --> 00:28:06.960
listen or whatever. Somebody told them, yeah.

00:28:07.319 --> 00:28:10.079
I'm pretty sure somebody told them. So, but I

00:28:10.079 --> 00:28:12.259
don't care. I told him, you know, I told him

00:28:12.259 --> 00:28:14.920
to tell them. I said, I told only the truth of

00:28:14.920 --> 00:28:18.259
what happened. And I was sad when I heard the

00:28:18.259 --> 00:28:22.259
news. It was out of fun. Yeah, I told him I said

00:28:22.259 --> 00:28:25.819
I was sad when I heard the news. And I wasn't

00:28:25.819 --> 00:28:27.799
doing anything derogatory. I was just telling,

00:28:27.940 --> 00:28:29.980
you know, well, I did call him a psychopath and

00:28:29.980 --> 00:28:33.859
an idiot and a big piece of shit. You know what?

00:28:34.019 --> 00:28:37.180
You know what? That's nostalgia. That's nostalgia,

00:28:37.180 --> 00:28:39.420
you're right. Too many times, it's nostalgia

00:28:39.420 --> 00:28:43.759
from back in the day. Yeah. We all get there.

00:28:44.059 --> 00:28:49.220
I told the mutual friend, anyhow, his name's

00:28:49.220 --> 00:28:51.539
Jerry. I don't think he'd care if I told his

00:28:51.539 --> 00:28:53.940
first name. But anyhow, Jerry's going to relay

00:28:53.940 --> 00:28:56.319
to them, if they want to come on this podcast

00:28:56.319 --> 00:29:02.019
and tell us their beef, we can hash it out. So

00:29:02.019 --> 00:29:04.420
we'll see. It's going to be with you. I'm going

00:29:04.420 --> 00:29:08.960
to be sitting back laughing. Well, I mean, I

00:29:08.960 --> 00:29:12.019
got some questions. This is your story. Well,

00:29:12.140 --> 00:29:16.460
yeah. Well, I also... Come on, man. I heard he

00:29:16.460 --> 00:29:18.759
got viral meningitis, and then I heard he had

00:29:18.759 --> 00:29:22.119
a heart attack. Or did he get viral meningitis

00:29:22.119 --> 00:29:24.559
in the heart, maybe, and it gave him a heart

00:29:24.559 --> 00:29:28.369
attack? I don't know. I would like to ask them,

00:29:28.390 --> 00:29:30.369
you know, not to bring up something, you know,

00:29:30.369 --> 00:29:34.109
tragic, but... Do that off the air. Yeah, yeah,

00:29:34.130 --> 00:29:35.930
I'm not going to ask them on this, so... Yeah,

00:29:35.930 --> 00:29:39.029
yeah. So, anyhow, I'm not sure exactly what happened

00:29:39.029 --> 00:29:43.529
to them, but... We want to have an explanation

00:29:43.529 --> 00:29:47.279
why you bit people's nuts. Yes. Well, that's

00:29:47.279 --> 00:29:49.839
because his helmet popped off. If not, he would

00:29:49.839 --> 00:29:52.779
have got you with his fingernails, which he ground

00:29:52.779 --> 00:29:57.200
down to a fine point. Well, maybe they could

00:29:57.200 --> 00:29:59.880
explain why he ground them down. Yeah, maybe

00:29:59.880 --> 00:30:04.000
so. Maybe so. Maybe they can explain something

00:30:04.000 --> 00:30:06.400
that we don't know, like closed head injury,

00:30:06.859 --> 00:30:10.240
you know, I don't know, cord maybe, you know.

00:30:11.039 --> 00:30:15.920
Not making fun of him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not

00:30:15.920 --> 00:30:19.259
making fun of him. Just speculating. Look, we're

00:30:19.259 --> 00:30:21.339
all fans of Big and the Ball Biter. He is one

00:30:21.339 --> 00:30:24.680
of the most popular people and he hasn't ever

00:30:24.680 --> 00:30:27.220
even been on the show. And now he won't be. I

00:30:27.220 --> 00:30:31.900
never knew it. I never made a day in my life

00:30:31.900 --> 00:30:35.589
that I'm a big fan of his. See? See? That's what

00:30:35.589 --> 00:30:38.410
this show did. It brought people to Biggin. I

00:30:38.410 --> 00:30:40.670
went to school in Belton. We had our secrets,

00:30:40.750 --> 00:30:44.910
too, man. Yes, yes. We did shit during games.

00:30:45.170 --> 00:30:48.769
So you bit little Jimmy's balls. Yeah, big deal.

00:30:48.970 --> 00:30:52.069
It was high school football. He's okay now. I'm

00:30:52.069 --> 00:30:55.650
sure he is. And it was in the 80s. It was a different

00:30:55.650 --> 00:30:58.210
time. Yeah, you could bite people's balls then

00:30:58.210 --> 00:31:02.769
and not go to prison. That's right, man. So you

00:31:02.769 --> 00:31:07.220
see Biggin, we're under. game between Belton

00:31:07.220 --> 00:31:12.740
and Ruskin. At Belton, it was an all -out brawl,

00:31:12.759 --> 00:31:20.180
dude. Oh, yeah. Ruskin was Art's enemy. Everybody

00:31:20.180 --> 00:31:25.039
thought Ray Pack was. No. When it comes to football,

00:31:25.460 --> 00:31:31.019
yeah, the fans got in fistfights. Oh, yeah. No,

00:31:31.059 --> 00:31:34.160
no, no. Drexel Blackhawks were our big arch enemy.

00:31:34.279 --> 00:31:38.319
We were both 1A. And they hated us because we

00:31:38.319 --> 00:31:40.740
were the big swinging Ds around that in the Western

00:31:40.740 --> 00:31:44.039
Conference. We always won it. And we went to

00:31:44.039 --> 00:31:46.259
state, won state several times. We had a really

00:31:46.259 --> 00:31:49.000
good football team at Cass Midway. And they always

00:31:49.000 --> 00:31:54.259
hated us. We sucked. And we hate Greg Williams.

00:31:54.940 --> 00:31:57.869
And he still sucks. Isn't he banned from the

00:31:57.869 --> 00:32:00.309
NFL because of that fucking hit gate or what?

00:32:01.130 --> 00:32:05.829
Bounty gate? No, no. No, after that, he came

00:32:05.829 --> 00:32:10.170
back. He's been like Buffalo head coach since

00:32:10.170 --> 00:32:13.970
then. He's done different shit since then, man.

00:32:14.670 --> 00:32:17.210
I didn't even realize that. He's out now. He's

00:32:17.210 --> 00:32:21.029
out. He's out now. He's out. I have not rent

00:32:21.029 --> 00:32:25.369
a truck. Anybody that knows, anybody that wants

00:32:25.369 --> 00:32:29.559
to know. Greg Williams was our head coach at

00:32:29.559 --> 00:32:34.440
Belton High School. And I didn't play football,

00:32:34.720 --> 00:32:41.740
but I took physical fitness, which was a PE class.

00:32:42.059 --> 00:32:46.039
You either had co -ed, phys -ed, or you took

00:32:46.039 --> 00:32:48.740
physical fitness, the weightlifting with the

00:32:48.740 --> 00:32:52.700
chalks and all that. Rob holds the record at

00:32:52.700 --> 00:32:55.539
Belton High. Rob holds the records for the Monkey

00:32:55.539 --> 00:33:01.369
Bars. Don't you? No, no, actually. I don't hold

00:33:01.369 --> 00:33:06.549
a record, but I was up there on the pegboard.

00:33:07.049 --> 00:33:10.049
Oh, okay. All right, good enough. And leg lift,

00:33:10.250 --> 00:33:17.430
leg lift for my size. In 10th and 11th grade,

00:33:17.529 --> 00:33:22.549
on the leg sled, I was lifting over 700 pounds.

00:33:23.170 --> 00:33:27.559
Wow, okay. I was just joking around. My tiny

00:33:27.559 --> 00:33:31.319
hat. Back when you knew me. Wow. Now we know

00:33:31.319 --> 00:33:36.859
why you live still. I remember what we used to

00:33:36.859 --> 00:33:42.380
do. I've grown up a little bit bigger. We used

00:33:42.380 --> 00:33:46.980
to get underneath the opposing bleachers and

00:33:46.980 --> 00:33:49.759
use squirt guns and start squirting up and try

00:33:49.759 --> 00:33:52.779
to get them. Oh, fuck yeah. That was funny. He'd

00:33:52.779 --> 00:33:55.200
be like, I'm a wit! And we'd be running out the

00:33:55.200 --> 00:33:58.980
back. Anyhow, you know what? I got a bunch of

00:33:58.980 --> 00:34:01.140
other stuff, but, man, we're going on 28 minutes.

00:34:01.259 --> 00:34:06.599
So, Rob, we're going to turn it to you. Okay,

00:34:06.599 --> 00:34:12.239
well, I had one story, but I just read the headline.

00:34:12.840 --> 00:34:18.280
I got the answer. All right. And this was a news

00:34:18.280 --> 00:34:22.320
story on Newsbreak. It said if people stop...

00:34:22.360 --> 00:34:26.659
having babies, how long would it be before humans

00:34:26.659 --> 00:34:32.539
were all gone? What a good question. Okay, okay.

00:34:32.699 --> 00:34:36.380
Well, yeah, it is a good question, but I answered

00:34:36.380 --> 00:34:39.300
it without even reading the story. I still have

00:34:39.300 --> 00:34:41.980
not opened the story. Okay. And I gave you the

00:34:41.980 --> 00:34:45.780
answer. Okay. And now I'm going to move into

00:34:45.780 --> 00:34:50.760
my next story. Okay. The answer is until the

00:34:50.760 --> 00:34:58.070
last one dies. So, move on. I like that. Okay,

00:34:58.170 --> 00:35:01.829
we're getting some feedback or something. Hang

00:35:01.829 --> 00:35:04.869
on. I'm trying to. This Bluetooth is trying to

00:35:04.869 --> 00:35:07.190
die on us. Like I said, the other one isn't working

00:35:07.190 --> 00:35:12.670
for whatever reason. Okay. So, anyhow, go ahead.

00:35:12.750 --> 00:35:16.190
I'm going to keep going. When it sounds different,

00:35:16.230 --> 00:35:17.829
it clipped off, and then we're going to find

00:35:17.829 --> 00:35:19.570
a different way. So, go ahead, Rob. Keep going.

00:35:26.250 --> 00:35:30.969
may recall the knee -jerk reaction of religiously

00:35:30.969 --> 00:35:35.710
placing a scrap of cardboard or plywood on a

00:35:35.710 --> 00:35:39.130
garage floor or driveway before setting a car

00:35:39.130 --> 00:35:46.030
battery down on it. Okay, this is kind of mudbusters

00:35:46.030 --> 00:35:52.750
here, okay? Okay. Whether... Okay, you remember...

00:35:58.280 --> 00:36:07.199
Yes. Okay. According to one anecdote, concrete

00:36:07.199 --> 00:36:12.599
would cause the wooden battery cases to early

00:36:12.599 --> 00:36:16.539
batteries to work. So early batteries were made

00:36:16.539 --> 00:36:22.900
out of wood. Okay. Okay. So you start, you know,

00:36:22.940 --> 00:36:27.730
you get cold. Humidity off concrete. Mm -hmm.

00:36:30.650 --> 00:37:22.739
Mm -hmm. Oh, wow. Uh -huh. Uh -huh, yeah. Nowadays,

00:37:23.139 --> 00:37:27.239
battery cases are universally constructed of

00:37:27.239 --> 00:37:33.500
tough plastics like polypropylene or polycarbonate,

00:37:33.599 --> 00:37:40.619
which don't have cracks or porosity that allow

00:37:40.619 --> 00:37:48.760
for discharge with direct ground contact. Mythbusters.

00:37:49.840 --> 00:37:55.019
We call that myth busted. There's no longer a

00:37:55.019 --> 00:37:58.639
need to elevate batteries off the ground during

00:37:58.639 --> 00:38:02.260
storage. Although other threats remain, they

00:38:02.260 --> 00:38:05.179
can shorten the life of your stored battery.

00:38:05.559 --> 00:38:10.219
Uh -huh. So in other words, just what they make

00:38:10.219 --> 00:38:13.880
the casing off of these days, you can set it

00:38:13.880 --> 00:38:18.679
on the concrete. Oh, wow. Okay. I mean, you...

00:38:18.920 --> 00:38:21.559
You grew up like I did. One of the golden rules.

00:38:21.920 --> 00:38:24.380
Yeah. Don't set your battery on the concrete.

00:38:25.920 --> 00:38:28.099
You don't set it on the ground. You set it on

00:38:28.099 --> 00:38:30.420
something else. Yeah, I know. Nobody does still

00:38:30.420 --> 00:38:32.760
that I know of or anyone knows anything about

00:38:32.760 --> 00:38:39.340
and still does. That's why I brought this story

00:38:39.340 --> 00:38:43.900
up. Uh -huh. Because of the casing now, we don't

00:38:43.900 --> 00:38:47.059
have to set the battery on the ground. Uh -huh.

00:38:47.119 --> 00:38:50.440
What we have to do... worry about is, like, temperature

00:38:50.440 --> 00:38:58.340
and cleanliness. Okay? Uh -huh. That's all we

00:38:58.340 --> 00:39:00.900
gotta worry about. So, you can set your batteries

00:39:00.900 --> 00:39:03.599
on the ground. Go ahead, guys. You know what?

00:39:03.639 --> 00:39:06.280
That's good to know, because sometimes... Yeah.

00:39:07.300 --> 00:39:10.699
What it was, it was the battery casing. I'll

00:39:10.699 --> 00:39:14.619
be damned. Like, back in the Model A, Model T

00:39:14.619 --> 00:39:20.900
days, the battery was a wood casing. Okay. Okay.

00:39:21.360 --> 00:39:27.079
And on the ground, you add moisture. Okay. See

00:39:27.079 --> 00:39:32.179
what I mean? Okay, very cool. That was a good

00:39:32.179 --> 00:39:35.900
story to go into. No, that is because, like me,

00:39:36.039 --> 00:39:39.360
I'm pretty sure a lot of people that are somewhat

00:39:39.360 --> 00:39:43.960
mechanically minded didn't know that. Yeah, because

00:39:43.960 --> 00:39:46.260
honestly, I take the battery out to this day.

00:39:46.619 --> 00:39:54.449
I will not. No, me too. Me too. Okay. Then also

00:39:54.449 --> 00:39:56.809
another thing is I bet you you can leave them

00:39:56.809 --> 00:39:59.429
in the mower all year round now. Remember how

00:39:59.429 --> 00:40:01.250
they said during cold you're supposed to take

00:40:01.250 --> 00:40:03.809
them out during winter and set them somewhere

00:40:03.809 --> 00:40:11.170
on a shelf? Oh, still do it? Okay. Alright. Okay.

00:40:14.710 --> 00:40:21.570
Okay. All right. No, no, no. That's good to know.

00:40:21.590 --> 00:40:24.130
That's why I asked. All right. Let's take our

00:40:24.130 --> 00:40:26.030
first break. We've got emails, and then we have

00:40:26.030 --> 00:40:31.110
our top seven comedy, right? Yes, I can't wait.

00:40:31.369 --> 00:40:34.809
All righty. We will be right back. Oh, shit.

00:40:35.070 --> 00:40:39.349
What's that over there? Oh, no. It's Island of

00:40:39.349 --> 00:40:46.530
Horrible Jokes. I bought a jacket from the store.

00:40:46.889 --> 00:40:49.690
I had to take it back. It kept shocking me. They

00:40:49.690 --> 00:40:53.369
gave me another one, free of charge. Harambe

00:40:53.369 --> 00:40:56.010
used to listen to our original show, Two Dipshits

00:40:56.010 --> 00:40:58.369
and a Cheap Radio Shack Realistic Tape Recorder.

00:40:58.889 --> 00:41:01.570
Harambe does not listen to our original show,

00:41:01.690 --> 00:41:03.989
Two Dipshits and a Cheap Radio Shack Realistic

00:41:03.989 --> 00:41:07.630
Tape Recorder anymore. You might ask why Harambe

00:41:07.630 --> 00:41:10.090
never listens to our original show, Two Dipshits

00:41:10.090 --> 00:41:12.349
and a Cheap Radio Shack Realistic Tape Recorder.

00:41:12.909 --> 00:41:16.349
Well, it's because Harambe is dead. senselessly

00:41:16.349 --> 00:41:18.269
murdered because some idiot did not watch her

00:41:18.269 --> 00:41:21.269
child properly while looking on her phone. Sadly,

00:41:21.389 --> 00:41:23.389
Arambe does not listen to our original show,

00:41:23.510 --> 00:41:25.690
Two Gibshits and the Cheap Radio Shedack Realistic

00:41:25.690 --> 00:41:29.710
Dig Recorder, or any other show. Anymore. Sorry,

00:41:29.789 --> 00:41:33.230
Arambe. Next time you take a dump, listen to

00:41:33.230 --> 00:41:36.369
two douchebags and a microphone. It's been proven

00:41:36.369 --> 00:41:38.590
in laboratory rats to relax your anal canal.

00:41:39.489 --> 00:41:45.559
Get in cover. Next up, things overheard in hell.

00:41:45.900 --> 00:41:57.480
Our constant pursuit for a real knee slapper.

00:41:57.619 --> 00:42:02.019
It's strange insults from an alien. Real hilarity.

00:42:02.300 --> 00:42:06.559
Major mashed potatoes. Be lumpy, runny, and not

00:42:06.559 --> 00:42:10.960
flavorful. Yes, it's true. Mark is an old bastard.

00:42:11.550 --> 00:42:14.530
It's also true that Mark uses a lot of ibuprofen.

00:42:14.989 --> 00:42:18.150
But Mark would like to tell you, if you see any

00:42:18.150 --> 00:42:21.909
pictures of him roofing ibuprofen, it's obviously

00:42:21.909 --> 00:42:24.309
fake, and you're to take the pictures and tear

00:42:24.309 --> 00:42:27.750
them up immediately. Now, from his underground

00:42:27.750 --> 00:42:30.750
bunker in Camden, Missouri, stocked full of dried

00:42:30.750 --> 00:42:33.630
goods, canned food, and a couple of vibrating...

00:42:38.440 --> 00:42:42.500
Batman would look ridiculous solving crime on

00:42:42.500 --> 00:42:51.260
a sunny day. Strange, but true. In a remote area

00:42:51.260 --> 00:42:54.820
of the Amazon rainforest, a small parasitic catfish

00:42:54.820 --> 00:42:57.840
is reported to swim and kill the gyrithas of

00:42:57.840 --> 00:43:01.000
those who are mating in the Amazon River. Also

00:43:01.000 --> 00:43:03.800
called the vampire fish, it follows a urine stream,

00:43:03.980 --> 00:43:07.139
lodges itself in the gyritha, expands its fins

00:43:07.139 --> 00:43:10.239
to stay in place, and consumes tissue until hemorrhaging

00:43:10.239 --> 00:43:13.960
kills the host. The reports date back to the

00:43:13.960 --> 00:43:16.539
19th century. The first documented removal from

00:43:16.539 --> 00:43:22.820
the human occurred in 1997. The apocalypse just

00:43:22.820 --> 00:43:26.260
happened. You don't know what to do. You don't

00:43:26.260 --> 00:43:28.920
know where to go. But we can tell you what you

00:43:28.920 --> 00:43:34.179
can eat. Okay, it's post -apocalypse. and you're

00:43:34.179 --> 00:43:36.300
walking down the barren wasteland that used to

00:43:36.300 --> 00:43:40.159
be a city. You find an old can of beans lying

00:43:40.159 --> 00:43:42.940
in the middle of the road, but you do not have

00:43:42.940 --> 00:43:47.059
a can opener. What you do then is you find a

00:43:47.059 --> 00:43:50.059
patch of concrete, you rub the top of the can

00:43:50.059 --> 00:43:53.440
for five minutes, then you go to the middle of

00:43:53.440 --> 00:43:56.500
the can and squeeze it, and it should pop right

00:43:56.500 --> 00:44:13.849
open. And it is beautiful, and I can't wait to

00:44:13.849 --> 00:44:17.610
make it down there. Oh, it is gorgeous. Oh, what

00:44:17.610 --> 00:44:21.849
a beautiful area. Just so you know, I am seriously

00:44:21.849 --> 00:44:25.369
getting ready to make a trip to Knob Lake. So

00:44:25.369 --> 00:44:28.349
get ready for pictures of me at the Knob Lake

00:44:28.349 --> 00:44:33.389
City Limit. It's an incorporated sign. Awesome.

00:44:33.849 --> 00:44:35.750
Are you going to go to the Knob Lake Mountains?

00:44:36.010 --> 00:44:38.369
Yeah, I know. Seriously, I'm going to make a

00:44:38.369 --> 00:44:41.710
trip to Knob Lake. I want to, man. Cool. Hey,

00:44:41.889 --> 00:44:45.869
they're our main city. I've got to go see them.

00:44:46.710 --> 00:44:49.170
Let me ask you something a little bit different

00:44:49.170 --> 00:44:51.829
here about Knoblick. I've had several complaints

00:44:51.829 --> 00:44:55.170
about the new douchebag pledge in Knoblick. They

00:44:55.170 --> 00:44:59.690
think it's kind of, I don't know, soft or boring

00:44:59.690 --> 00:45:02.090
or something. You think I need to change it?

00:45:03.409 --> 00:45:07.369
No, it's Knoblick. I wonder, I don't know what

00:45:07.369 --> 00:45:14.269
people... I don't know. Let me get there. I'll

00:45:14.269 --> 00:45:16.590
let you know. Okay. I didn't think there was

00:45:16.590 --> 00:45:18.550
anything wrong with the pledge, but I don't know.

00:45:18.670 --> 00:45:20.230
I've had a couple of people say... According

00:45:20.230 --> 00:45:22.889
to the description, it sounds about right from

00:45:22.889 --> 00:45:26.329
what we've read online. Okay. You know what?

00:45:26.789 --> 00:45:29.309
So, yeah, let me get there. I'll let you know.

00:45:29.449 --> 00:45:31.389
If that's the only thing I got to complain about

00:45:31.389 --> 00:45:35.789
it, I'll take it. Right? The knob -lick pledge.

00:45:35.849 --> 00:45:38.630
Well, my question is... How many of these people

00:45:38.630 --> 00:45:41.289
complain or actually go naked to Knob Lake to

00:45:41.289 --> 00:45:44.329
find out for themselves? None. That's my question.

00:45:44.449 --> 00:45:46.989
None. I'm going. We know. We know this, Rob.

00:45:47.030 --> 00:45:48.969
I'm going and I will approve. Okay. It will be

00:45:48.969 --> 00:45:54.090
on Facebook. Cool. All right. Let's get the emails,

00:45:54.389 --> 00:45:58.230
all right? Yeah. Yeah. All righty. Rob, what

00:45:58.230 --> 00:46:00.309
do you say we get together and have a fishing

00:46:00.309 --> 00:46:03.489
guide service here at the huge Freeman Lake Massey

00:46:03.489 --> 00:46:06.480
Creek Arm? We could call it Cheetah and Mitch's

00:46:06.480 --> 00:46:09.960
Carp and Fish Gittin'. Maybe we could even noodle

00:46:09.960 --> 00:46:13.440
for fun. I'm sure you'll be open to this excellent

00:46:13.440 --> 00:46:17.019
opportunity. See you soon, buddy. Mitch, co -founder

00:46:17.019 --> 00:46:19.380
of Cheetah and Mitch's Carp and Catfish Company.

00:46:19.739 --> 00:46:22.340
Oh, he is poking you in the chest again, buddy.

00:46:22.840 --> 00:46:27.039
Dude, dude, I love it. I love it. It's just that

00:46:27.039 --> 00:46:30.579
your name is going to be Jane. Jane? Cheetah

00:46:30.579 --> 00:46:35.480
and Jane. I don't know, man. I'm starting to

00:46:35.480 --> 00:46:37.199
get the vibes that you and him kind of have.

00:46:37.199 --> 00:46:40.380
I love it. I love it. I actually want to meet

00:46:40.380 --> 00:46:47.199
Ben. I love him. Me too. Dude, I thought I was

00:46:47.199 --> 00:46:52.460
pushing it the other night. He's pushing right

00:46:52.460 --> 00:46:56.519
back. I love it. You know what I love is I'm

00:46:56.519 --> 00:46:59.880
certain he lives near Freeman. With all the stuff

00:46:59.880 --> 00:47:04.090
he comes up with. He said W. I caught that. W

00:47:04.090 --> 00:47:07.250
Highway. He lives off W. Oh, he did say that.

00:47:07.250 --> 00:47:09.050
Okay, all right. Then he does live on there.

00:47:09.449 --> 00:47:13.869
The W side. Oh, that's right. You know what?

00:47:13.889 --> 00:47:16.269
You're right. He always says, like, the W Highway

00:47:16.269 --> 00:47:19.789
Division of something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay.

00:47:19.949 --> 00:47:23.530
So he lives to the south. South Freeman. W is

00:47:23.530 --> 00:47:26.250
on south of Freeman. You're right. I'm thinking

00:47:26.250 --> 00:47:29.869
we may know him. I'm wondering now. Or you do,

00:47:29.969 --> 00:47:35.650
and he just loves me. I don't know. I may know

00:47:35.650 --> 00:47:38.130
him, or you may know him, or we both may know

00:47:38.130 --> 00:47:42.030
him. I don't know. Or he may just be an honest,

00:47:42.210 --> 00:47:45.289
somebody that's picked us up. Could be. He's

00:47:45.289 --> 00:47:49.989
listened to us forever. He's listened to our

00:47:49.989 --> 00:47:53.590
shows. For a long time. I'm impressed that Biggin's

00:47:53.590 --> 00:47:58.519
parents know about this. I'm like, how in the

00:47:58.519 --> 00:48:01.239
world? I mean, I really did not expect anything

00:48:01.239 --> 00:48:07.019
like that. So anyhow, and anyhow, Jerry wouldn't

00:48:07.019 --> 00:48:09.019
lie about it. He's telling the truth. I mean,

00:48:09.079 --> 00:48:11.840
I've known him all my life. He is telling the

00:48:11.840 --> 00:48:14.239
truth. Megan's parents are upset. So anyhow.

00:48:14.639 --> 00:48:19.320
All right. All right. So there you go, Mitch.

00:48:22.619 --> 00:48:25.079
Yeah, Rob says you have to change your name to

00:48:25.079 --> 00:48:27.579
Jane, so it's going to be Cheetah and Jane's

00:48:27.579 --> 00:48:31.539
fishing getting. Yeah, if we're going to join

00:48:31.539 --> 00:48:34.500
up in a fishing guide service together, we're

00:48:34.500 --> 00:48:36.900
going to be Cheetah and Jane. There you go. There

00:48:36.900 --> 00:48:43.340
you go, Mitch. Next one. Hey, guys, just wondering

00:48:43.340 --> 00:48:46.380
what you were doing for the 4th of July. What

00:48:46.380 --> 00:48:49.340
are your plans? We pretty much celebrated here

00:48:49.340 --> 00:48:51.719
for two weeks before and a couple of days after.

00:48:51.880 --> 00:48:54.199
I was wondering if you all go crazy like we do.

00:48:54.280 --> 00:48:56.579
The actual holiday, we load up and go to Grand

00:48:56.579 --> 00:48:58.900
Lake and watch the fireworks there. I'll get

00:48:58.900 --> 00:49:00.860
back to you guys as soon as possible. Oklahoma.

00:49:01.719 --> 00:49:04.619
Yep. But I'm going to get back to you guys as

00:49:04.619 --> 00:49:06.619
soon as possible, but I'm going to be busy for

00:49:06.619 --> 00:49:08.960
a while. I will still listen, though. Ronnie

00:49:08.960 --> 00:49:13.099
in Tulsa, the Tulsa King. The Tulsa King, yes.

00:49:13.619 --> 00:49:16.360
Okay, so. Ronnie, as soon as you're able to,

00:49:16.420 --> 00:49:19.099
we always, always look forward to your emails.

00:49:19.440 --> 00:49:22.239
And you are royalty. Do what you got to do. I

00:49:22.239 --> 00:49:24.059
know you got a lot of stuff going on. It's fine.

00:49:24.139 --> 00:49:27.019
We'll be here for you. So whenever you feel like

00:49:27.019 --> 00:49:29.260
or have a moment to break us off an email, do

00:49:29.260 --> 00:49:34.139
so. And I hope everything goes well. For me,

00:49:35.900 --> 00:49:39.800
what I'm doing, I know of one thing I'm going

00:49:39.800 --> 00:49:45.219
to do every year, me and my daughter. my son

00:49:45.219 --> 00:49:50.119
get together for the Lynn Creek fireworks show,

00:49:50.239 --> 00:49:52.659
so we will be going down there. Are you going

00:49:52.659 --> 00:49:55.739
to shoot bottle rockets at the Tesla? Well, no,

00:49:55.920 --> 00:50:00.239
no, no, no, no, no. They shoot it off. Actually,

00:50:00.300 --> 00:50:03.079
they shoot it off from the mayor's house. Oh,

00:50:03.099 --> 00:50:08.300
okay. Yeah. No, it's a good show, man. It really

00:50:08.300 --> 00:50:23.539
is. That's cool. It's a pain in the ass. No.

00:50:23.539 --> 00:50:43.800
Yeah. Yeah. And it's free, and you just line

00:50:43.800 --> 00:50:45.519
up in the fields everywhere, and it's a huge

00:50:45.519 --> 00:50:50.039
display. They do it every year. Anyhow, you don't

00:50:50.039 --> 00:50:52.639
know about it, so I can't really remember that

00:50:52.639 --> 00:50:55.239
much about it. I went a couple of times. It was

00:50:55.239 --> 00:50:57.719
interesting because it was like four or five

00:50:57.719 --> 00:51:00.900
fields full of cars out in the middle of nowhere.

00:51:01.780 --> 00:51:06.340
So, anyhow. All right. Well, normally every year

00:51:06.340 --> 00:51:09.619
over on the Terra Dam, they give off a good show,

00:51:09.639 --> 00:51:15.050
too. Um, so does, uh, um, Kimberly city has a

00:51:15.050 --> 00:51:17.809
really good one. Yeah. Yeah, they do. Yeah. They

00:51:17.809 --> 00:51:19.369
have a really good one. I've been there a couple

00:51:19.369 --> 00:51:24.550
of times. Yeah, that's right. And most municipalities,

00:51:24.829 --> 00:51:30.780
um, um, around, um, any area. usually shoot off

00:51:30.780 --> 00:51:33.539
at least some fireworks, have some type of display.

00:51:33.880 --> 00:51:36.619
It depends on the city and how many discretionary

00:51:36.619 --> 00:51:39.500
funds they have for it. But I know that, like,

00:51:39.500 --> 00:51:41.440
the city of Raymoor shoots off a really good

00:51:41.440 --> 00:51:44.420
one. Lee's Summit has a really big one. Overland

00:51:44.420 --> 00:51:47.079
Park has a good one. Leawood has a good one.

00:51:47.199 --> 00:51:50.139
I mean, virtually every municipality around Kansas

00:51:50.139 --> 00:51:52.579
City area does. And then you can go to the south,

00:51:52.679 --> 00:51:57.300
Cass County. You know, Crazy Joe's. Like two

00:51:57.300 --> 00:52:01.260
or three days after the 4th of July, they have

00:52:01.260 --> 00:52:03.579
a fireworks display just for their employees.

00:52:03.639 --> 00:52:08.059
And you can go on Holmes Road, just north of

00:52:08.059 --> 00:52:10.880
Cleveland, about two miles on Holmes Road or

00:52:10.880 --> 00:52:14.099
D Highway, whatever it is in there. And the railroad

00:52:14.099 --> 00:52:17.179
bridge, you can stop there and you can see the

00:52:17.179 --> 00:52:20.440
display from there really well. And I found this

00:52:20.440 --> 00:52:22.579
out by accident coming home one night, like July

00:52:22.579 --> 00:52:24.780
8th or something. I'm like, where are all these

00:52:24.780 --> 00:52:27.960
fireworks coming from? And then I saw it. They

00:52:27.960 --> 00:52:32.480
you know, the the owner, he passed away, but

00:52:32.480 --> 00:52:35.679
I think his wife still owns it. He had a bunch

00:52:35.679 --> 00:52:38.920
of hayfields, right? So what he did was he started

00:52:38.920 --> 00:52:42.000
like this. His name was Joe. And that's where

00:52:42.000 --> 00:52:44.320
you get crazy, Joe. He would have all of his

00:52:44.320 --> 00:52:47.840
employees go into that field of his and they

00:52:47.840 --> 00:52:49.659
would have a huge fireworks display and have

00:52:49.659 --> 00:52:52.039
a party in this like July 8th or 9th, something

00:52:52.039 --> 00:52:55.309
like that. But you can watch it. From Holmes

00:52:55.309 --> 00:52:58.670
Road. From the railroad bridge. Is the best place.

00:52:59.230 --> 00:53:02.449
So if you're in that area. Check it out. It's

00:53:02.449 --> 00:53:08.230
the Saturday after the 4th of July. So. Anyhow.

00:53:08.670 --> 00:53:12.250
Let's see. Sorry douches. But the fuckhammer

00:53:12.250 --> 00:53:15.829
shirt I had. Was pretty much shredded. I suspect

00:53:15.829 --> 00:53:18.789
a rat or mouse was the culprit. I might have

00:53:18.789 --> 00:53:21.110
a picture of it somewhere. Hopefully Johnny and

00:53:21.110 --> 00:53:27.309
OP. Well. I hope he does, because other than

00:53:27.309 --> 00:53:29.849
that, I don't have them. I don't have anything

00:53:29.849 --> 00:53:34.210
like that. I looked through my magical closet

00:53:34.210 --> 00:53:41.170
of memories. Nothing. I can't find it. You sent

00:53:41.170 --> 00:53:45.210
me a picture of the flyer online. If I have to,

00:53:45.230 --> 00:53:47.550
I'll take that to Walmart and get below that.

00:53:48.550 --> 00:53:51.389
I don't care if Buck Hammer is going to be in

00:53:51.389 --> 00:53:54.559
this. There you go. Wait, wait till I find, well,

00:53:54.599 --> 00:53:57.159
Johnny's finding them. I don't have them. I think

00:53:57.159 --> 00:53:59.119
I may have a flyer around here somewhere, but

00:53:59.119 --> 00:54:02.699
Johnny has the more elaborate flyer we did later

00:54:02.699 --> 00:54:05.460
on. After we realized it pissed the hell out

00:54:05.460 --> 00:54:08.199
of people in Westport, after we realized it made

00:54:08.199 --> 00:54:11.699
a matter in hell, we came up with better flyers

00:54:11.699 --> 00:54:15.280
and stuck them everywhere. So anyhow, that's

00:54:15.280 --> 00:54:19.019
the one you want to get on a shirt. So, all right,

00:54:19.099 --> 00:54:22.980
next one. Mark, there is no such thing as Greek

00:54:22.980 --> 00:54:26.179
spaghetti. You don't know your own food. Adriana

00:54:26.179 --> 00:54:31.019
in Chicago. Okay, stop, stop, stop. Go ahead

00:54:31.019 --> 00:54:35.059
and then I... You do not know Marshmallow. Yeah,

00:54:35.099 --> 00:54:40.599
okay. I have ate... Yeah, I have ate that. Yes.

00:54:41.360 --> 00:54:45.639
Well, I know what this Adriana is trying to say.

00:54:47.559 --> 00:54:50.139
I'm just stopping it right there because I know

00:54:50.139 --> 00:54:54.539
better. I've eaten your mom's good. I know. Aid,

00:54:55.320 --> 00:55:00.380
you don't actually know. The food I'm talking

00:55:00.380 --> 00:55:03.840
about was a regional thing. Northern Greece had

00:55:03.840 --> 00:55:08.639
but only in certain areas because of the foods

00:55:08.639 --> 00:55:10.440
they could get there. All the food over there

00:55:10.440 --> 00:55:15.719
was dependent on what was close by. In one area,

00:55:15.800 --> 00:55:17.920
you would get Greek spaghetti. In another area,

00:55:18.039 --> 00:55:20.340
you would get greens. It depended on where you're

00:55:20.340 --> 00:55:22.820
at, whether they could get fresh meat, what they

00:55:22.820 --> 00:55:26.880
could get. So it's all regional over there. And,

00:55:26.960 --> 00:55:29.139
you know, next time, do your research because

00:55:29.139 --> 00:55:31.920
you kind of look uninformed here. And I know

00:55:31.920 --> 00:55:33.619
what you're trying to say is you're trying to

00:55:33.619 --> 00:55:36.119
say, like, there's no definition of Greek spaghetti.

00:55:36.519 --> 00:55:39.519
Maybe not. Right, right. But they have it over

00:55:39.519 --> 00:55:43.909
there. They have it over there, but they don't.

00:55:43.909 --> 00:55:46.650
You go to Athens, you won't find it. You go to

00:55:46.650 --> 00:55:49.429
Kavala, where my mom was raised at, well, you

00:55:49.429 --> 00:55:53.230
know, until she moved here. They had it there.

00:55:53.570 --> 00:55:56.309
But they had a better supply of food there than

00:55:56.309 --> 00:56:02.489
they did somewhere else. So, anyhow. So, Adriana,

00:56:02.610 --> 00:56:06.969
you're wrong. And you can look all day for it,

00:56:06.989 --> 00:56:09.969
and you may not ever find it. But it does exist.

00:56:10.409 --> 00:56:16.750
Doesn't it, Rob? Yes. Only because of Mama. Only

00:56:16.750 --> 00:56:21.030
because of Mama. Mama did not invent this. They

00:56:21.030 --> 00:56:23.670
invented it over there. It is Greek spaghetti.

00:56:23.710 --> 00:56:26.889
You could taste their Mama as that was generations

00:56:26.889 --> 00:56:29.570
handed down. Yes, and that's where I went back

00:56:29.570 --> 00:56:32.409
to the pinch and the dash stuff. It is an actual

00:56:32.409 --> 00:56:34.969
measurement over there. You know, the old cooks,

00:56:35.110 --> 00:56:38.849
the old ladies. I mean, we can't get it because

00:56:38.849 --> 00:56:43.050
we don't have that type of... control but they're

00:56:43.050 --> 00:56:45.429
pinching it and a dab and all that is actually

00:56:45.429 --> 00:56:48.349
something and they all do it and it's all the

00:56:48.349 --> 00:56:51.329
same us we can't do it so anyhow you know what

00:56:51.329 --> 00:56:55.170
that's enough that um mark you suck the gift

00:56:55.170 --> 00:56:58.409
card deal was brutal actually i love it benny

00:56:58.409 --> 00:57:07.309
uh okay well um I was going to do it again to

00:57:07.309 --> 00:57:09.329
Brian, but then I thought about it, and it would

00:57:09.329 --> 00:57:13.349
be awful suspicious if I just sent him one out

00:57:13.349 --> 00:57:15.949
of nowhere. So I was like, he's not going to

00:57:15.949 --> 00:57:20.929
fall for it again. So I gave up on it. All right.

00:57:21.150 --> 00:57:25.710
And then finally, Rob, we need more Uncle Rob's

00:57:25.710 --> 00:57:29.329
tips for life. Please. That shit is funny. Bonnie

00:57:29.329 --> 00:57:34.880
in Beantown. Dude. Dude, I bet. I was listening

00:57:34.880 --> 00:57:38.380
this morning to the last one. Oh, yeah. And you

00:57:38.380 --> 00:57:41.159
played it. Dude, we never made up number three.

00:57:41.260 --> 00:57:43.400
Well, that's what she said. We got to get to

00:57:43.400 --> 00:57:45.420
it, dude. Rob, I'm getting to this. It goes,

00:57:45.440 --> 00:57:48.599
by the way, add number three tip, please. We

00:57:48.599 --> 00:57:50.699
can make more. We can make more. I got shit on

00:57:50.699 --> 00:57:52.900
the brain. We will make. I got shit on the brain.

00:57:53.710 --> 00:57:56.510
All right. You know what? We will make more Bonnie,

00:57:56.610 --> 00:57:59.889
and also we will add number three because she

00:57:59.889 --> 00:58:02.309
put, by the way, add number three tip, please.

00:58:02.550 --> 00:58:04.989
And that's not the first. We got a few complaints

00:58:04.989 --> 00:58:09.250
about it. All right. Yeah, well, you keep playing.

00:58:09.389 --> 00:58:14.469
We've had complaints. That's why I keep playing

00:58:14.469 --> 00:58:20.050
it, Rob. It pisses people off. All right, Rob,

00:58:20.230 --> 00:58:27.889
we have a top set. I know what it is. I'm going

00:58:27.889 --> 00:58:31.630
to record it. I can't remember. I have the master

00:58:31.630 --> 00:58:34.449
script, if you will, or whatever here. So I know

00:58:34.449 --> 00:58:37.210
what it is. And I still, for the life of me,

00:58:37.250 --> 00:58:39.150
don't know how we missed that. You and I both

00:58:39.150 --> 00:58:44.369
missed it. No, we recorded it. We recorded it.

00:58:44.369 --> 00:58:48.289
It must have chopped out then. Wow. Weird. Yeah,

00:58:48.289 --> 00:58:54.250
we recorded it. Okay. They know. I mean, I've

00:58:54.250 --> 00:58:57.670
got a few others on that. That might be an oncoming

00:58:57.670 --> 00:59:00.989
thing. I think it's a great segment, and I think

00:59:00.989 --> 00:59:03.329
that Bonnie is right. We need to do more, so

00:59:03.329 --> 00:59:07.130
we will. Like I said, yeah, I have a few things

00:59:07.130 --> 00:59:10.130
that might do. I'm going to keep going with that.

00:59:10.150 --> 00:59:13.289
I think there's a poltergeist. I think there's

00:59:13.289 --> 00:59:15.949
a poltergeist. I think there's a poltergeist

00:59:15.949 --> 00:59:18.650
in my computer, and it took it out just to be

00:59:18.650 --> 00:59:21.570
mischievous. We have a ghost in the machine.

00:59:23.340 --> 00:59:26.199
If anyone gets that reference, you're 100 years

00:59:26.199 --> 00:59:33.000
old. All right, Rob. Top seven comedy. You got

00:59:33.000 --> 00:59:41.460
it. Okay. Well, I've always been a Robin Hood

00:59:41.460 --> 01:00:04.219
fan. Okay. Okay. From the original. Oh, that

01:00:04.219 --> 01:00:09.380
is a good one. Yeah. Well, like you said, I'm

01:00:09.380 --> 01:00:13.659
a Robin Hood fan. Rob from the rich, give to

01:00:13.659 --> 01:00:16.260
the poor, you know? Sounds like a plan to me.

01:00:17.199 --> 01:00:25.440
Bring it on. I need another power washer. Okay,

01:00:25.619 --> 01:00:31.099
number six. I got to go with Mr. Leslie Nielsen.

01:00:33.420 --> 01:00:40.519
We doubled on that one. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:00:40.619 --> 01:00:44.139
None of the other ones. Number one was the fucking

01:00:44.139 --> 01:01:10.250
best. Except... Except Vacation. what they did

01:01:10.250 --> 01:01:13.309
in the first one. So they're not quite as funny

01:01:13.309 --> 01:01:16.130
in my mind. There's only one comedy movie that

01:01:16.130 --> 01:01:18.909
breaks that rule, and that is Christmas Vacation.

01:01:18.909 --> 01:01:21.010
It was better than the original. Other than that,

01:01:21.030 --> 01:01:23.010
all of them are right. You're right. That's it.

01:01:23.809 --> 01:01:26.150
Or at least I know a lot of people think like

01:01:26.150 --> 01:01:28.690
I do. Okay, with that being said, we're moving

01:01:28.690 --> 01:01:31.570
on to my number five working hard year. Okay.

01:01:33.630 --> 01:01:37.090
My favorite was Vacation number one, not Christmas.

01:01:37.710 --> 01:01:44.340
Okay, that's fine. Christmas was close. Okay.

01:01:44.400 --> 01:01:50.300
The only thing Christmas had going for it was

01:01:50.300 --> 01:01:53.960
Randy Quaid dumping his septic system. That was

01:01:53.960 --> 01:01:57.480
it. Oh, man, the lighting scene. On top of the

01:01:57.480 --> 01:02:00.420
original. He kept trying to get the lights to

01:02:00.420 --> 01:02:06.119
work. I don't know. The original was great. But

01:02:06.119 --> 01:02:08.579
to me, there's some classic shit in the Christmas

01:02:08.579 --> 01:02:11.219
Vacation. He kept trying to get the lights to

01:02:11.219 --> 01:02:15.300
work and shit kept happening. And then the neighbors

01:02:15.300 --> 01:02:18.500
were dicks. And, I mean, just everything around.

01:02:18.780 --> 01:02:21.179
But number one was great, too. Oh, dude, if you

01:02:21.179 --> 01:02:23.840
think about it, that's his whole trip to Wally

01:02:23.840 --> 01:02:26.719
World. Yeah, you know, and that did have John

01:02:26.719 --> 01:02:29.340
Candy on there. It's the same storyline. Yeah.

01:02:30.239 --> 01:02:43.079
Okay. All right. That's cool. Okay. But this

01:02:43.079 --> 01:02:47.139
time I'm going back further. I'm going to go

01:02:47.139 --> 01:02:51.579
with Animal House. Oh, gosh. I didn't even remember

01:02:51.579 --> 01:02:53.480
that one. I should have put it down, but okay,

01:02:53.539 --> 01:02:57.119
cool. That was one of my dad's favorites. That

01:02:57.119 --> 01:03:00.000
was great, man. That was when John Belushi was

01:03:00.000 --> 01:03:04.579
balling. Yes. Before all that nasty heroin and

01:03:04.579 --> 01:03:18.130
cocaine stuff. Mm -hmm. The jerk. I almost put

01:03:18.130 --> 01:03:25.909
that one down. I did. Very cool. Well, okay.

01:03:26.289 --> 01:03:28.469
What did he call his dog, Shithead, or something

01:03:28.469 --> 01:03:32.010
like that? Yeah, Shithead. Shithead, yeah. Yeah,

01:03:32.170 --> 01:03:37.269
yeah. I was born a poor black child. That was

01:03:37.269 --> 01:03:42.039
great. And he's like doing the narration. I was

01:03:42.039 --> 01:03:43.900
born a poor black child and all of them are like

01:03:43.900 --> 01:03:48.519
looking at him. And he's like... Okay, I should

01:03:48.519 --> 01:03:50.760
have said it before and I'm going to say it now.

01:03:50.980 --> 01:03:59.219
Okay. We were born in the 60s. Yes. He was different

01:03:59.219 --> 01:04:02.460
in the 70s and 80s. Well, it was funny because

01:04:02.460 --> 01:04:08.130
he was dumped off as a kid. Yeah, he was dumped

01:04:08.130 --> 01:04:11.289
off as a kid, and he was a really white guy.

01:04:11.389 --> 01:04:14.530
He's fairly pale. And because he was adopted

01:04:14.530 --> 01:04:17.289
by an African -American family, he thought he

01:04:17.289 --> 01:04:20.170
was black. And he's like, in the narration, going,

01:04:20.210 --> 01:04:24.409
oh, you just have to watch it. Anyhow, go ahead,

01:04:24.530 --> 01:04:29.150
Rob. But you have to get out of today's mentality,

01:04:29.389 --> 01:04:32.989
go back to the... It's just funny. It's funny

01:04:32.989 --> 01:04:34.829
because the rest of them are like looking at

01:04:34.829 --> 01:04:37.010
him like, who the fuck is this guy? And he's

01:04:37.010 --> 01:04:38.550
like sitting there thinking he's one of them.

01:04:38.590 --> 01:04:43.130
It's just classic humor. So anyhow. Which goes

01:04:43.130 --> 01:04:47.309
along with my number two. It's kind of the same

01:04:47.309 --> 01:04:53.869
way. Blazing Saddles. Now that one right there.

01:04:55.289 --> 01:05:04.860
You're going to have to. Because we did not think

01:05:04.860 --> 01:05:08.619
that way. It is not politically correct. And

01:05:08.619 --> 01:05:11.159
if you get offended easy, don't get near it.

01:05:12.440 --> 01:05:20.980
So, it was a very funny movie. And for my number

01:05:20.980 --> 01:05:25.639
one, and I had some objection a while ago while

01:05:25.639 --> 01:05:29.539
I mentioned this in the other room. I argued

01:05:29.539 --> 01:05:37.610
with them. This is a movie. Murphy Raw. Oh, yeah.

01:05:38.570 --> 01:05:45.170
It is on DVD. It is on VHS. It's on whatever

01:05:45.170 --> 01:05:49.130
the fuck you want. It's a movie. You ain't got

01:05:49.130 --> 01:05:54.769
no ice cream and your mama's on welfare. Go ahead.

01:05:54.829 --> 01:06:00.730
Goody goo goo. Goody goo goo. That thing introduced

01:06:00.730 --> 01:06:04.630
me to a whole new realm of comedy. I was just

01:06:04.630 --> 01:06:15.110
like laughing. And the thing was, he made fun

01:06:15.110 --> 01:06:18.030
of everybody, so no one could really get mad.

01:06:18.269 --> 01:06:21.349
He was an equal opportunity offender. He did

01:06:21.349 --> 01:06:24.670
not care. He went after you. He found the funny

01:06:24.670 --> 01:06:27.710
stuff about every type of person there is out

01:06:27.710 --> 01:06:30.090
there, and he exploited it, which makes a great

01:06:30.090 --> 01:06:35.710
comedian. Yeah, Clay did, but he took it over

01:06:35.710 --> 01:06:41.730
the top. Yeah, yeah. He didn't just pick on one

01:06:41.730 --> 01:06:45.550
person. He picked on everybody. Yes, and so when

01:06:45.550 --> 01:06:47.929
people went after him, he was like, hey, I picked

01:06:47.929 --> 01:06:50.349
on myself. The funny thing is, did you know this?

01:06:50.489 --> 01:06:55.070
He's not Italian. He's Jewish. Yeah, I know.

01:06:55.349 --> 01:06:58.750
I know. Everybody thinks he's Jewish. Okay, all

01:06:58.750 --> 01:07:00.349
right, we're going to go into mine. All right.

01:07:00.909 --> 01:07:04.630
Number seven of mine is, this is a classic. It's

01:07:04.630 --> 01:07:07.309
a holiday classic. Every Thanksgiving, you'll

01:07:07.309 --> 01:07:10.929
see it somewhere on your 300 channels that you

01:07:10.929 --> 01:07:14.730
have at home that you never watch. Planes, trains,

01:07:14.889 --> 01:07:19.170
and automobiles. Automobiles, yes. Yep, that

01:07:19.170 --> 01:07:22.730
would be John Candy and Steve Martin. Classic.

01:07:23.469 --> 01:07:26.090
John Candy played the biggest schmuck around,

01:07:26.230 --> 01:07:29.309
and Steve Martin played the biggest uptight asshole

01:07:29.309 --> 01:07:32.260
around. And them two together did some pretty

01:07:32.260 --> 01:07:35.219
strange shit that was funny as hell. They did

01:07:35.219 --> 01:07:38.739
awesome. It was a great movie. I can watch. It's

01:07:38.739 --> 01:07:40.460
one of those movies that I get suckered into.

01:07:40.739 --> 01:07:43.179
I'm like, man, I got to go. I got to go fix the

01:07:43.179 --> 01:07:44.880
bathroom or whatever. You know, I got to go.

01:07:45.019 --> 01:07:47.760
I go go nail down that piece of plywood, you

01:07:47.760 --> 01:07:49.960
know, something. Right. And then it's like, oh,

01:07:50.039 --> 01:07:53.280
wait a minute. Oh, oh, OK. Just the scene of

01:07:53.280 --> 01:07:55.139
them leaving. Then two hours later, I'm like.

01:07:55.440 --> 01:07:58.179
Oh, man, that's a great movie again. So it's

01:07:58.179 --> 01:08:00.619
one of those ones that you always watch. Number

01:08:00.619 --> 01:08:08.019
six was Groundhog Day. Bill Murray. He plays

01:08:08.019 --> 01:08:13.420
his snotty ass self so well. He's just an obnoxious

01:08:13.420 --> 01:08:16.260
weatherman that hates his job and hates life.

01:08:16.939 --> 01:08:21.619
And he keeps repeating. It's great. Number five,

01:08:21.720 --> 01:08:28.039
Airplane. Leslie Nielsen, genius. That whole

01:08:28.039 --> 01:08:35.260
movie. Airplane is just a classic. If you've

01:08:35.260 --> 01:08:39.060
never seen it, watch it. It stands up. You can

01:08:39.060 --> 01:08:41.140
watch it today and still laugh your ass off.

01:08:41.260 --> 01:08:44.020
The dry comedy that Leslie Nielsen was so good

01:08:44.020 --> 01:08:50.500
at is timeless. Number four. Another Bill Murray.

01:08:51.600 --> 01:08:59.189
Stripes. Huh? Damn, now that you mention it,

01:08:59.350 --> 01:09:01.270
I think of another Bill Murray I should have

01:09:01.270 --> 01:09:03.909
had there. Stripes is awesome. There's so many

01:09:03.909 --> 01:09:06.909
Bill Murrays I could have put in there, but Stripes,

01:09:06.909 --> 01:09:09.670
to me, was one of the ones that introduced me

01:09:09.670 --> 01:09:12.090
to raunchy comedy. I could have went with Fast

01:09:12.090 --> 01:09:15.430
Times at Ridgemont High, but I did not. I love

01:09:15.430 --> 01:09:18.010
that movie, but I just don't know why I don't.

01:09:18.310 --> 01:09:20.609
It's still funny as hell, but I don't know why

01:09:20.609 --> 01:09:22.689
I didn't. Yeah, that's one of my number one movies

01:09:22.689 --> 01:09:31.710
ever, but I don't. Well, there was stuff in there

01:09:31.710 --> 01:09:34.329
like, my brother's going to shit. He's going

01:09:34.329 --> 01:09:36.310
to kill us. He's going to shit. He's going to

01:09:36.310 --> 01:09:38.109
kill. Well, what's he going to do, man? Is he

01:09:38.109 --> 01:09:41.069
going to shit or going to kill us? And then he

01:09:41.069 --> 01:09:45.829
comes, going to kill us. And then Spicoli gets

01:09:45.829 --> 01:09:48.010
out and he looks at the car all smashed up and

01:09:48.010 --> 01:09:51.930
he goes, my dad's a TV repairman. He can fix

01:09:51.930 --> 01:09:57.880
it. It's just fantastic. Number three, Christmas

01:09:57.880 --> 01:10:00.899
Vacation. And who was the actor that card belonged

01:10:00.899 --> 01:10:04.560
to? To the guy's brother that he was hanging

01:10:04.560 --> 01:10:06.939
out with, the big football player. And who was

01:10:06.939 --> 01:10:11.079
that? Oh, shit. Who played that person? I can't

01:10:11.079 --> 01:10:15.140
think. I can tell you. Go ahead. Forrest Whitaker.

01:10:15.600 --> 01:10:22.039
Yes. He's over there sweating and he's like killing

01:10:22.039 --> 01:10:24.279
the other team because they put Jefferson all

01:10:24.279 --> 01:10:31.159
over it. That was a, it was classic. So number,

01:10:31.220 --> 01:10:34.920
number three, I have Christmas vacation. And

01:10:34.920 --> 01:10:38.100
I mean, regular vacation. Number one could have

01:10:38.100 --> 01:10:40.220
went in there too, just as easily. Both of them

01:10:40.220 --> 01:10:45.710
are just classic. Number two. Yeah, it just depends.

01:10:46.390 --> 01:10:55.689
Number two, Tommy Boy. Yeah. Chris Farley was

01:10:55.689 --> 01:10:59.069
just so on his game at that point in life. Yes,

01:10:59.069 --> 01:11:03.289
he was. Yeah, just everything he did was funny.

01:11:03.630 --> 01:11:06.390
So, I mean, he'd probably take a shit and it

01:11:06.390 --> 01:11:10.810
was funny. So, and then number one is someone

01:11:10.810 --> 01:11:15.279
that was left off of yours. Then mine, too, and

01:11:15.279 --> 01:11:23.020
that would be Dumb and Dumber. Dumb and Dumber.

01:11:23.340 --> 01:11:26.520
Dumb and Dumber was a fantastic, funny movie.

01:11:27.539 --> 01:11:34.899
I mean, what's his name? Ace Ventura, all that.

01:11:35.199 --> 01:11:38.380
His name is right on the tip of my fucking tongue.

01:11:38.659 --> 01:11:42.359
Jim Carrey. Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels. If I

01:11:42.359 --> 01:11:44.859
was going to go with a Jim Carrey movie, it would

01:11:44.859 --> 01:11:47.840
be some other dumb and dumber. I thought dumb

01:11:47.840 --> 01:11:49.899
and dumber was fucking great. There's a reason

01:11:49.899 --> 01:11:53.539
why it's called dumb and dumber, because it's

01:11:53.539 --> 01:11:56.760
fucking dumb. It is. It's dumb comedy. I love

01:11:56.760 --> 01:12:01.359
it. Okay, that's fine. I love it. There was parts

01:12:01.359 --> 01:12:03.680
of it I didn't even like because it was so dumb.

01:12:04.220 --> 01:12:09.260
Okay. That's fine. But then he went on to other

01:12:09.260 --> 01:12:13.979
movies like that that I appreciated. Oh, shit.

01:12:14.000 --> 01:12:19.079
He had a ton of movies. Yeah. Cable Guy. Yep.

01:12:19.079 --> 01:12:23.500
I mean, The Mask, Cable Guy. Liar, Liar, Liar

01:12:23.500 --> 01:12:26.500
almost made my list. The Cable Guy was dark.

01:12:26.720 --> 01:12:29.060
Oh, my God, it was dark. But it was funny, too.

01:12:30.250 --> 01:12:32.909
All right, that's... Liar, liar, almost made

01:12:32.909 --> 01:12:36.369
my list. Liar, liar is another good one. All

01:12:36.369 --> 01:12:39.770
right. Jim Carrey, yeah. All righty, let's take

01:12:39.770 --> 01:12:41.649
our second break. We're running way behind, and

01:12:41.649 --> 01:12:45.369
we'll be right back. Oh, fuck yeah, we are. All

01:12:45.369 --> 01:13:00.810
right. All right, we'll be right back. Hey, my

01:13:00.810 --> 01:13:03.250
little pumpkin seeds, this is Johnny Rohypnol

01:13:03.250 --> 01:13:06.869
with your music news. Sad news in the music industry.

01:13:07.369 --> 01:13:10.130
Sylvester Stewart, or better known as Sly Stone,

01:13:10.409 --> 01:13:13.390
has passed away at the age of 82. Sly was a pioneer

01:13:13.390 --> 01:13:16.970
in the funk rock scene. Sly and the family Stone

01:13:16.970 --> 01:13:19.090
upset the Las Vegas status quo when they were

01:13:19.090 --> 01:13:20.909
pooped into a three -month, six -night -a -week

01:13:20.909 --> 01:13:23.909
gig at the Pussycatagogo, an engagement that

01:13:23.909 --> 01:13:26.109
was attended from everyone from James Brown to

01:13:26.109 --> 01:13:28.630
Bobby Darin. The group would use their Mondays

01:13:28.630 --> 01:13:30.750
off to fly to Los Angeles to record their debut

01:13:30.750 --> 01:13:33.270
album, A Whole New Thing. It would include their

01:13:33.270 --> 01:13:35.770
first hit single, Dance to the Music, which would

01:13:35.770 --> 01:13:37.829
also become a single on their sophomore album.

01:13:38.109 --> 01:13:40.409
While the band enjoyed early success, Stone eventually

01:13:40.409 --> 01:13:42.729
fell on hard financial times, would later be

01:13:42.729 --> 01:13:44.590
plagued by health issues and even homelessness.

01:13:45.350 --> 01:13:47.829
Praised as a musical genius, he also became known

01:13:47.829 --> 01:13:50.649
for being reclusive. Before he vanished, Stone

01:13:50.649 --> 01:13:53.729
was a potent creative in the late 1960s and early

01:13:53.729 --> 01:13:56.909
1970s. A singer, songwriter, bandleader, and

01:13:56.909 --> 01:13:59.710
producer, his group's other hits include Hot

01:13:59.710 --> 01:14:03.029
Fun in the Summertime, Thank You, and Family

01:14:03.029 --> 01:14:06.970
Affair. You'll be missed, Mr. Stone. This is

01:14:06.970 --> 01:14:10.189
Johnny Rohypnol. That was your music news, and

01:14:10.189 --> 01:14:17.470
remember, bar chords are bullshit. And now, Deep

01:14:17.470 --> 01:14:24.739
Thoughts with Mark. Man, I sure wish I was the

01:14:24.739 --> 01:14:26.739
garbage man. You know what I could do if I was

01:14:26.739 --> 01:14:29.220
the garbage man? I could go to the wrong parts

01:14:29.220 --> 01:14:32.199
of town on the wrong days periodically in the

01:14:32.199 --> 01:14:34.640
morning and then watch everybody run out of their

01:14:34.640 --> 01:14:37.420
house in their underwear with two bags of trash

01:14:37.420 --> 01:14:41.340
screaming, Stop! Halt! Yeah, that's what I'd

01:14:41.340 --> 01:14:49.140
love to do. Your mama's so old. She knew Burger

01:14:49.140 --> 01:14:52.600
King when he was still a prince. Hey there, fuckstick.

01:14:53.060 --> 01:14:55.380
You're just in time for brand new feature news

01:14:55.380 --> 01:14:58.960
nobody gives a shit about. Every Model T that

01:14:58.960 --> 01:15:01.800
was ever manufactured was in the color black.

01:15:02.739 --> 01:15:05.399
Two douchebags, a microphone, and an effort to

01:15:05.399 --> 01:15:10.579
keep everything fresh. We offer you first world

01:15:10.579 --> 01:15:15.479
problems. Damn it. The city services website

01:15:15.479 --> 01:15:19.560
is down again. I can't believe this. I'm going

01:15:19.560 --> 01:15:21.560
to have to actually call and talk to someone

01:15:21.560 --> 01:15:25.380
to pay my damn trash bill. This is ridiculous.

01:15:26.300 --> 01:15:28.220
Have you ever wondered where something came from?

01:15:28.340 --> 01:15:30.600
Have you ever looked at something and said, hey,

01:15:30.680 --> 01:15:33.760
I wonder what the origin of that is? Well, so

01:15:33.760 --> 01:15:38.079
have we. That's why we give you the origin of...

01:15:38.079 --> 01:15:41.300
What is the origin of Mountain Dew? Tennessee

01:15:41.300 --> 01:15:43.920
bottlers Barney and Ally Hartman developed Mountain

01:15:43.920 --> 01:15:47.270
Dew as a mixer in the 1940s. Soft drinks were

01:15:47.270 --> 01:15:49.869
sold regionally in the 1930s, and the Hartmans

01:15:49.869 --> 01:15:52.250
had difficulty in Knoxville obtaining their preferred

01:15:52.250 --> 01:15:54.670
soda to mix with liquor, preferably whiskey,

01:15:54.750 --> 01:15:57.210
so the two developed their own now known as Mountain

01:15:57.210 --> 01:16:01.869
Dew. Harambe used to listen to our original show,

01:16:01.989 --> 01:16:04.289
Two Dipshits and Cheek Radio Shack Realistic

01:16:04.289 --> 01:16:07.529
Tape Recorder. Harambe does not listen to our

01:16:07.529 --> 01:16:10.010
original show, Two Dipshits and Cheek Radio Shack

01:16:10.010 --> 01:16:13.409
Realistic Tape Recorder anymore. You might ask

01:16:13.409 --> 01:16:15.989
why Harambe never listens to our original show,

01:16:16.109 --> 01:16:18.029
Too Gypsious, in a cheap Radio Shack realistic

01:16:18.029 --> 01:16:21.470
tape recorder. Well, it's because Harambe is

01:16:21.470 --> 01:16:24.130
dead. Senselessly murdered because some idiot

01:16:24.130 --> 01:16:26.210
did not watch her child properly while looking

01:16:26.210 --> 01:16:29.029
on her phone. Sadly, Harambe does not listen

01:16:29.029 --> 01:16:31.130
to our original show, Too Gypsious, in the cheap

01:16:31.130 --> 01:16:33.989
Radio Shack realistic tape recorder, or any other

01:16:33.989 --> 01:16:41.289
show. Anymore. Sorry, Harambe. Hello, this is

01:16:41.289 --> 01:16:46.109
Satan. You might know me from my pet name, Inflation.

01:16:47.069 --> 01:16:50.050
I'm here to tell you that there's no better way

01:16:50.050 --> 01:16:54.729
to relax than listen to two douchebags in a microphone

01:16:54.729 --> 01:16:59.050
by a nice warm fire at night. I sit there and

01:16:59.050 --> 01:17:02.069
I reflect on all the souls I burned that day.

01:17:03.090 --> 01:17:09.369
Enjoy. Now it's time for Pickup Lines from a

01:17:09.369 --> 01:17:12.060
Loser. If I had a nickel for every time I saw

01:17:12.060 --> 01:17:14.239
someone as beautiful as you, I would have a whole

01:17:14.239 --> 01:17:37.260
five cents. Two douchebags and a microphone.

01:17:38.220 --> 01:17:42.060
I'm Mark here in the Kansas City chapter. And

01:17:42.060 --> 01:17:45.260
I am Rob in the beautiful Nile Arm of Lake of

01:17:45.260 --> 01:17:48.220
the Ozarks. All right. Rob, you have something

01:17:48.220 --> 01:17:57.859
you want to go into. Yeah, I do. All right. If

01:17:57.859 --> 01:18:01.479
you've ever noticed photographs from the 19th

01:18:01.479 --> 01:18:05.939
and 20th century, you've likely noticed how serious

01:18:05.939 --> 01:18:11.300
everyone looked. I have. There's a hint of a

01:18:11.300 --> 01:18:18.720
smile at all, or oh so slight, but more often

01:18:18.720 --> 01:18:23.680
than not, our ancestors looked like they were

01:18:23.680 --> 01:18:29.180
sitting for a sepia -toned mugshot or being held

01:18:29.180 --> 01:18:33.079
for ransom or something. That's true. They did.

01:18:34.140 --> 01:18:38.220
Yeah. Why didn't people smile in photographs?

01:18:39.369 --> 01:18:43.829
Was life just so hard back then that nobody smiled?

01:18:45.529 --> 01:18:50.949
Were sour expressions just the norm? I think

01:18:50.949 --> 01:18:56.949
I know why, but go ahead. Yeah, well, I do. Okay.

01:18:57.989 --> 01:19:01.829
Most often people's serious faces in old photographs

01:19:01.829 --> 01:19:07.710
are blamed for the long exposure of early cameras.

01:19:08.359 --> 01:19:37.449
And that's true. Uh -huh. Uh -huh. Uh -huh. It's

01:19:37.449 --> 01:19:42.210
surprising how difficult very quickly becomes

01:19:42.210 --> 01:19:47.609
unnatural. That's what it was. Okay. To take

01:19:47.609 --> 01:19:52.550
a picture, it took so long that the people lost

01:19:52.550 --> 01:19:57.090
their expression. I never even thought that.

01:19:57.189 --> 01:20:02.739
That is so cool, though. Wow. because I thought

01:20:02.739 --> 01:20:04.800
it was because they didn't have dentistry very

01:20:04.800 --> 01:20:07.180
well back then. I thought that people didn't

01:20:07.180 --> 01:20:10.520
smile because their teeth were bad. Well, no.

01:20:10.800 --> 01:20:15.859
I just broke it down real quick. No, I... It's

01:20:15.859 --> 01:20:23.699
run short on time. What it went into was people

01:20:23.699 --> 01:20:26.420
originally, you know, people thought it was because

01:20:26.420 --> 01:20:31.159
it was just a rough time in life, you know. Well,

01:20:31.260 --> 01:20:32.920
they did all look rugged, and I mean... Nobody

01:20:32.920 --> 01:20:36.479
smiled back then. Yeah. Well, the thing is, people

01:20:36.479 --> 01:20:41.640
did smile back then. It just took many a minutes

01:20:41.640 --> 01:20:47.140
to take a picture. I never... Wow. I mean, hey,

01:20:47.260 --> 01:20:51.420
you remember back in the 80s, or whatever, even

01:20:51.420 --> 01:20:55.380
today, you'd take your family for photo photographs.

01:20:55.960 --> 01:21:00.220
Mm -hmm. How many people act up during them?

01:21:00.649 --> 01:21:03.670
How many people get grumpy? Oh, yeah. You said

01:21:03.670 --> 01:21:07.310
in a few minutes? Very much so. Very much so.

01:21:07.449 --> 01:21:11.890
And them cameras, they're like, what? I'm thinking

01:21:11.890 --> 01:21:16.210
like at least 10 minutes to take a picture. Yeah.

01:21:16.229 --> 01:21:19.130
You know what I mean? Yeah. So, yeah, you get

01:21:19.130 --> 01:21:24.470
fidgety. I get it. I get it, too. Okay. You know

01:21:24.470 --> 01:21:26.069
what? If I had to wait that long, I probably

01:21:26.069 --> 01:21:27.829
wouldn't be smiling either. I'd probably be mad

01:21:27.829 --> 01:21:31.720
going, what the hell? Come on, guys. I got a

01:21:31.720 --> 01:21:34.140
little story here. Somebody bring me a cigarette.

01:21:37.819 --> 01:21:40.100
I'd start fidgeting with my nuts just to make

01:21:40.100 --> 01:21:44.579
everyone uncomfortable. Just kind of like moving

01:21:44.579 --> 01:21:47.640
around. I always kick your ass. And making noises.

01:21:52.399 --> 01:21:55.279
People like looking at you going, is that okay?

01:21:55.880 --> 01:21:57.819
Everything's all right, man. Why? Why you ask?

01:21:58.810 --> 01:22:00.869
I don't know. Just forget it. Then you start

01:22:00.869 --> 01:22:05.130
fidgeting with them again, going, oh, damn. Oh,

01:22:05.210 --> 01:22:07.270
this is never going to end. Then people look

01:22:07.270 --> 01:22:09.609
at you again. Is something wrong? Oh, no. Everything's

01:22:09.609 --> 01:22:14.130
fine. Why? Just keep doing that. All right. Costa

01:22:14.130 --> 01:22:17.569
Rica prison guards catch drug smuggling per per

01:22:17.569 --> 01:22:22.590
trader in Costa Rica. In Costa Rica, they intercepted

01:22:22.590 --> 01:22:26.380
unusual prison drug delivery. catching a cat

01:22:26.380 --> 01:22:31.199
as it jumped over a periphery fence at night

01:22:31.199 --> 01:22:35.260
with marijuana and crack taped to its body. The

01:22:35.260 --> 01:22:38.319
black and white feline carrying over 230 grams

01:22:38.319 --> 01:22:41.479
of marijuana and 67 grams of crack cocaine in

01:22:41.479 --> 01:22:44.779
two packages was captured this month in a prison

01:22:44.779 --> 01:22:48.659
in the Canton of Piccoli, the Justice Ministry

01:22:48.659 --> 01:22:52.439
said in a statement Tuesday. He shared a video

01:22:52.439 --> 01:22:55.039
of the guard climbing a perimeter fence to catch

01:22:55.039 --> 01:22:58.380
the cat burglar. He wasn't a burglar. Why'd they

01:22:58.380 --> 01:23:01.699
say cat burglar? Well, I know he was. He was

01:23:01.699 --> 01:23:05.180
a cat. Okay. No, he wasn't a burglar. No, he

01:23:05.180 --> 01:23:08.100
was delivery. He wasn't a burglar. He was delivery.

01:23:08.720 --> 01:23:11.140
These idiots that write these stories out, I

01:23:11.140 --> 01:23:13.979
swear. You know what? I was getting in the habit

01:23:13.979 --> 01:23:16.720
of just like erasing all their shit and writing

01:23:16.720 --> 01:23:19.000
my own story after reading it. I think I need

01:23:19.000 --> 01:23:28.020
to go back to that. Okay. Yes. Yeah. There we

01:23:28.020 --> 01:23:30.899
go. He is a cat Instacart. Thank you, Rob. You

01:23:30.899 --> 01:23:32.399
know what? The rest of it, fuck it. Everyone

01:23:32.399 --> 01:23:34.760
knows what happened. They caught the cat. Somebody

01:23:34.760 --> 01:23:38.399
put cocaine and crack cocaine and marijuana on

01:23:38.399 --> 01:23:40.739
him and had him jump the fence. And they caught

01:23:40.739 --> 01:23:43.659
on, caught the cat. I hope they didn't hurt it.

01:23:43.680 --> 01:23:46.060
It didn't say anything about that. So, anyhow.

01:23:46.600 --> 01:23:50.859
I don't know. You know, that cat was like going...

01:23:53.460 --> 01:23:55.859
That cat was sitting there going, what the fuck

01:23:55.859 --> 01:23:58.760
is this? Oh, this bastard. I'm a cat. I can't

01:23:58.760 --> 01:24:05.300
stop him. This is bullshit. All right, Rob, you

01:24:05.300 --> 01:24:12.659
got something? Oh, there's a lot more to it.

01:24:12.659 --> 01:24:14.460
But, you know, as long as they're saying stupid

01:24:14.460 --> 01:24:16.979
shit like that right off the bat, there's no

01:24:16.979 --> 01:24:20.630
reason to go into any more of it, okay? Cat had

01:24:20.630 --> 01:24:23.090
drugs taped to him. They caught him. I do that,

01:24:23.149 --> 01:24:25.869
yeah. Yeah, so there you go. It's not the cat's

01:24:25.869 --> 01:24:29.689
fault. Nope, nope, not at all. At least they

01:24:29.689 --> 01:24:32.390
didn't put it in. Yeah, I know that. That's all

01:24:32.390 --> 01:24:35.109
I had for my brother. Okay, you know what? At

01:24:35.109 --> 01:24:36.789
least they didn't put it in the cat's asshole.

01:24:37.029 --> 01:24:39.590
That would have sucked. At least they didn't

01:24:39.590 --> 01:24:44.350
make him mule it. Oh, that was not good. I mean,

01:24:44.369 --> 01:24:46.050
I don't think they made him mule it. It sounds

01:24:46.050 --> 01:24:47.449
to me like they just taped it to him. Oh, no,

01:24:47.470 --> 01:24:54.770
no. that they know. Well, you know what? I guess

01:24:54.770 --> 01:24:56.170
they couldn't have had him mulled it because

01:24:56.170 --> 01:24:57.710
they don't know whenever he's going to take a

01:24:57.710 --> 01:25:00.250
shit. I mean, you know, and then all the cocaine

01:25:00.250 --> 01:25:03.170
and stuff comes out. Yeah. Yeah. So, all right.

01:25:04.090 --> 01:25:06.770
Okay. Everybody, that's it. Rob's had enough

01:25:06.770 --> 01:25:09.310
and I don't give a shit. So, anyhow, have a great

01:25:09.310 --> 01:25:14.350
night. Yeah, I'm working an hour and a half extra

01:25:14.350 --> 01:25:17.250
a day. So, yeah, I'm a little tired. Plus, your

01:25:17.250 --> 01:25:19.869
loincloth business on the side that you're doing,

01:25:19.909 --> 01:25:23.300
making loincloths, signing them. That takes a

01:25:23.300 --> 01:25:27.199
lot of your time, too. Yeah, and now Mitch has

01:25:27.199 --> 01:25:33.060
me making fucking fishing lures. Stick to loincloths.

01:25:33.420 --> 01:25:39.199
Plus Jeffy X. Plus Shannon. My hands are busy.

01:25:39.439 --> 01:25:43.539
My hands are busy. How many Sgt. Pepper's outfits

01:25:43.539 --> 01:25:49.920
have you made for Jeffy X so far? I'm up to four.

01:25:50.159 --> 01:25:52.970
Oh, good. Jeffy X, you just got three more to

01:25:52.970 --> 01:25:56.590
go. I had three left. And remember, Jeffy X,

01:25:56.729 --> 01:25:59.890
change them this time. You have one for each

01:25:59.890 --> 01:26:01.970
day of the week. You're going to have one for

01:26:01.970 --> 01:26:07.350
each day of the week. One can be cleaned. I'm

01:26:07.350 --> 01:26:08.949
going to have to spend a little more time with

01:26:08.949 --> 01:26:13.010
her. All right. Okay. All right, brother. I will

01:26:13.010 --> 01:26:17.229
have them done by Christmas, I promise. There

01:26:17.229 --> 01:26:21.489
you go, Jeffy X. You know what? He's probably

01:26:21.489 --> 01:26:24.130
getting tortured somewhere by Kellogg's or something.

01:26:25.409 --> 01:26:30.310
Allegedly. All right. Everybody, thank you for

01:26:30.310 --> 01:26:33.590
listening. Have a good night, assholes. Good

01:26:33.590 --> 01:26:38.010
night, assholes. Oh, no. Looks like the show's

01:26:38.010 --> 01:26:41.609
over, kids. Mark has explosive diarrhea and can't

01:26:41.609 --> 01:26:45.050
afford a wireless mic. Fear not, assholes. They'll

01:26:45.050 --> 01:26:46.909
be back invading your ear holes soon.