Two douchebags and a microphone. I'm Mark here
in the Kansas City area. The recently kind of
tore up here and there Kansas City area. I am
Rob. It's a beautiful angle arm of Lake of the
Ozarks. We're on the edge of the bad weather
ourselves. Okay. Well, we had some bad weather
this afternoon. Okay. Well, I hope it doesn't
get as serious as it did around here this morning.
I was listening to the news on the way out. I
had an eye appointment up in the city. OK, so
I'm listening to the news and they're like, if
we get a severe weather, there's a slight chance
of severe weather. This is not a tornadic situation,
all this stuff. I'm like, OK, cool. All right.
Well, no tornadoes. That's fine. That's a good
start. And really not a hail situation, just
maybe some wind damage situation. OK, next thing
I know, you know, I get home and I put on a brisket
that I'm cooking and I got the cowboy butter
on it and I got. the wood -fired garlic on it
and everything and i'm all happy and suddenly
val sends me a text message says dude there's
tornado warnings all over i'm like what what
the fuck it it's not supposed to do that at all
i get inside the house and one's like coming
right for us and we saw the circulation i think
it went back up in the air if it did come all
the way down and we could see it just to the
south of us and is running right along 150 highway
or 135th street Okay, so that's just a mile away
from us. So I could also hear a roaring sound,
a steady roaring sound. It wasn't lightning.
That's something my dad taught me a long time
ago, you know, when we used to get on the roof
and look for him and stuff like that. He said,
you got to listen for a steady rumbling sound.
He said, not lightning. But you keep hearing
it steady, roaring sound. It can be far away
or close, depending on where the tornado is.
And I heard that sound. It's very distinctive.
Because you hear lightning. It's loud and not
so loud. It's flashes. The roaring sound was
there. The rumbling sound was there. And so I
could see circulation and Val come in because
she was out back and I was in the front porch.
And she goes, I saw some circulation. I go, yeah,
right over there. And she goes, yeah. So it was
circulation, but I don't think it actually made
it to the ground. Now, the stadium complex got
hit. Did you know that? No. Yeah. Arrowhead Stadium,
Raytown, which is right next to Arrowhead Stadium.
Oh, talk to her about it. They have many images
of a tornado. It's a good -sized one, too. I'm
anxious to see what EF rating it has. But it
tore up some stuff. And then one hit Independence
and over kind of near Blue Springs. It kind of
danced around, went into rural areas. And last
I knew, it was off our radar. You know, it was
too far away. But this was a no -tornado situation
this morning. No, no, no, no, not that type of
a storm. Well, you know what? I didn't hear anyone
bragging about that. I didn't hear anyone going,
well, we didn't think it was or nothing. They
just went on and said, yeah, we had some bad
weather. But instead they do little code words
like, yeah, these are little spin -ups. Like,
dude, it tore the shit out of over in Raytown.
That's a spin -up? Okay. Yeah. Okay. You remember
the microburst that hit a rain tree in Lake Winnebago?
Oh, yeah. It flattened everything around there.
Tell me that was a fucking microburst. No, it
was twisted. I'm sorry. I did a lot of fucking
repairs. That was no fucking microburst. Yeah,
when you see the boards and you... And it's easy
to tell because the boards and the branches are
twisted. They're tore off of the tree. Wind damage,
they're just ripped off of the tree one way.
When you get that twisting and you see debris
in a circle motion, you know what happened. Now,
I don't know if they don't want to admit it or
they just don't want to go over there and take
the time because what's it going to do? They
don't want to say they're wrong or whatever,
but this one was declared tornadoes from the
start, so they couldn't say microbursts or nothing
like that. So, anyhow, there's quite a bit of
damage out there. I think the stadiums are fine,
but there's a lot of trees and houses that got
hit. That was an interesting afternoon because
I totally unexpected. Totally. I was just like,
yeah, we'll get a little bit of wind. So I'm
going to go ahead and put my brisket on. No big
deal. And then those hideous sirens. I found
out that ours works half the time, the one near
us, because the sirens are blaring everywhere.
But ours is blaring every now and then. So that's
reassuring, isn't it? So they go on and they
go off. And I'm like, I'm like, huh? So does
that mean this little spot right here, there's
no tornado everywhere else there is? And so anyhow,
you know, I mean, it was really it was fairly
it wasn't very stressful because you could kind
of tell that it wasn't a long track, huge tornado
situation. I mean, actually, it probably was
a spin up, but, you know. You could tell it wasn't
one that's just going to tear the piss out of
miles of stuff. So it wasn't that stressful.
It was one of those ones where you're just kind
of like looking out and looking on the porch
and stuff. And you know what I mean? You've done
this plenty of times, right? You go out there
and you look and see, all right, well, I think
the worst of it's down there. You can kind of
see it, but right here, it isn't too bad right
there. So I can hang out here. You do an assessment,
right? Yeah. So it was one of those situations.
You know what I'm saying? And I think other people
around the Midwest know what I'm saying. It wasn't
like a here comes a huge one. This is an EF four
or five. It's it's tearing everything up in its
path. Take take cover immediately. This is kind
of like a kind of look around, wait and see situation.
Right. You know, you've been through plenty of
them. Right. Yeah. So there are different people
that aren't around the Midwest may not know it.
They're completely different situations of severe
weather. The big long track ones with the large
hail and all that stuff, those are the ones you
really have to pay attention to. And the little
dotting ones, usually they generally don't kill
anybody unless they smoke somebody in a car or
something. Like 635, it blew over a tractor trailer.
I think some people were hurt on that. So, you
know, I mean, there's stuff like that that goes
on. But, you know, as far as like towns being
flattened and all that, not so much. But we'll
go on. So, Rob, how was your day? I was busy
like always, man. Working your ass off. That's
good. That's good to hear. That's really good
to hear. The economy is still going strong. Actually,
we're back on overtime. Oh, good. Except for
Tuesdays. Trying to catch up. Okay. Well, you
and I were just... Oh, cool. Where's it at? Oh,
cool. I love that area. Oh, awesome. You can
go by and pay... You going to pay a visit? Cool.
I think he may have lost at least a couple pounds.
He's not as big as he was, so I think everybody
likes seeing him. Okay, so mom liked to feed
him kind of like around here. Grandma likes to
feed the dogs, so yeah, I get you. Oh, dude,
no. No, he was like a 12 -inch. He's like a 12
-inch man, Ken. Uh -huh. And at one time, he
weighed in at 23 pounds. Oh, my gosh. yeah yeah
wow that's like way you know the dog was loving
that he just came back around every two minutes
he's like hey hey Oh, man. Uh -huh. That's cool.
Cool. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Your sons? Okay.
She's lovable. She sleeps in bed with me. Oh,
I'm sure, yeah. Every night. Cool. She loves
Grandpa, you know. Hell yeah. Grandpa doggy.
That's awesome. She don't eat my furniture or
my carpet anymore. That's definitely a plus.
That's definitely a plus. All right, well. I
ask her not to pee and poop on my carpet. Rob.
Have you heard, I want to know if you've heard
of the newest rage. Have you heard of beef tallow?
No. Okay, I'm starting to see it everywhere.
I think it was like a secret of fast food French
fries for a long time. I'm yet to try it, but
my understanding is you fry like French fries
and other items like that in beef tallow. I'm
not clear if you add it to oil or you just cook
it in 100 % tallow. So you don't know anything
about this because I've been seeing it pop up
everywhere. And I've seen it at stores. Stores
have it on the big shelf now. Like when you walk
in, hey, here's your beef tallow. So, okay, I'm
not sure either. I got to do a little bit more
checking on it. But it's kind of like the Rage.
And if it's anything like I think, I think the
beef tallow was big. Um, for, for a long time.
And then I think these fast food places, number
one, you know, cholesterol and fat. And number
two, they were getting sued because vegans were
eating this and they were eating part of an animal
or, you know, or vegetarians. And they didn't
know about it because it was fried. Yeah, I believe
that was another thing. So if anyone knows any
different, correct me. But I was just wondering,
I think I'm going to break down and buy some
beef tallow and see what this is all about. I,
you know, I'm not sure, man. Maybe I'll fry some
deep fried tacos in it or something instead of
French fries. I'll get a little crazy. I'll let
you be the taste tester on that one. Okay. Hey,
I got an idea. How about a promo that says...
Okay. How about this for a new promo? Two douchebags
and microphone. The only podcast deep fried in
beef tallow. Depending on what it tastes like.
Well, I mean, well, the vegetarians couldn't
listen to us then, right? If we did that, maybe
we shouldn't. Oh, yeah. Deep fried. Yeah. Yeah.
Deep fried in beef tallow. I don't think the
vegetarians could listen to us then. Yeah. Okay.
All right. Well, Topher and I are... That goes
away with the kale people. Oh, yeah. Hey, that's
what we do. We'll get the world supply of kale
and throw beef tallow all over it. Yes. Yes.
Topher, when you hear this, because they kidnapped
him, remember? We got you covered, brother. They
made him touch kale. He still has nightmares.
Yes, he woke up screaming for months after that,
reliving that moment when they made him touch
kale until he escaped. But speaking of Topher,
him and I are chomping at the bit. It's been
three weeks since we recorded a Sports Bastards
and a Music Creeps. Anyhow, I'm really... anxious
i've been inserting the uh music news in in the
douchebags but it was really meant for the music
creeps but because of a lot of different reasons
like hospitalization all that we couldn't do
it for three weeks so i can't wait to put that
we that's why we could buy them all so we could
do what we gotta do to get it all out to you
yeah Yeah, so I think you guys are going to hear
it in its original where it's supposed to be.
And I think it's going to fit really good in
the music talk. And I'm yet to do a sports one
because here's why. And Rob, if you got any ideas,
please tell me. But okay, when we get on the
sports talk, the sports bastards, we talk about
new sports news and stuff coming across the wire.
It would be kind of rough to, like, give away
a bunch of our stuff in, like, a little briefing.
So maybe I need to find something else to freshen
that up a little. I don't know. What do you think?
You know, everything always needs freshening
up. I think you're doing good. I think you're
doing good. Okay. Thank you. But, you know, everything
needs freshening up. Yeah. Yeah, and I think
we're doing really good on that too, Rob. Me
and you both, because we try to... I'm trying
to be more in tune. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, and it's
always a work in progress because things always
constantly change, you know. And also, we change
too. I mean, hell, our emails get us in different
directions all the time, you know. Dude, I love
our emails. I do too. They are amazing. I could
not ask for a better audience and audience participation.
I mean, the friends that I know that are like,
let's see, what should we say? Related to this
business, right? They say it's amazing. They
can't believe that people. write us so much and
have so many clever things. I said, that's unheard
of. I said, even shows have been around a long
time on the radio dial. Don't get that much email.
Don't get that much participation. And I know
exactly who you're talking about. Yeah, yeah,
yeah. Yeah, you're right. We've got to keep their
name off of this because they are kind of contractually
obligated to what they do. Well, yeah, I guess
he wasn't around back in here. She wasn't around
back in the day. So it didn't matter. Anyhow,
it doesn't matter. So yesterday I had our pug
dog Otis. He is sitting on the couch next to
me. Right. And I hear my phone is muffled ringing.
Right. I look for it and it was under Otis's
ass. My dog asked up my phone and then I had
to use it to answer an important call, Rob. It
really fucking sucked. I kept trying to get off
the phone quickly, but no, it was 200 question
time. It was about my eye appointment. Hey, are
you still taking this? Have you had any side
symptoms like this? Have you done? And I'm like,
can't we just do this down there at the place?
Well, we got to do the pre -registration. I'm
sitting here and I imagine Otis's ass all over
my phone and my face right up to it. And I could
not get off of the damn phone. Yes. Yes, I think
it did, unless it was my own mind. Yeah, and
I'm sitting here talking, and I couldn't hear,
you know, everybody knows I have tinnitus. I
can't hear that well. So I have to have it right
next to my face. And all I can see is my pug
dog Otis's ass all over that damn thing. And
I'm like thinking, only me. Only me would this
shit happen. I keep my cell phone away from my
dog. I usually do, but I got busy or something
and left it just sitting there. I don't know.
And when I heard the muffled ring, I'm like,
that's odd. Where could it be? And I heard it
again. I'm like, oh, man, right underneath his
Otis ass and also his wiener. Both. It was horrible.
Oh, he's a little asshole. He is a little asshole.
I love him. Oh, really? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Beagle. Uh -huh. Uh -huh. Uh -huh. Yes. Because
you guys, yeah, you guys are the same age. That's
funny. Well, we love each other, yeah. Oh, yeah.
He's been there with me every night. Yeah, he's
my buddy. Yeah, we butt heads. Well, I mean,
I butt head with all my dogs occasionally, too.
You know, they're dogs. They do what they want,
and then you've got to try to get them to not
do what they want. So, yeah. Okay, last week
we were talking about being dirty, right? But
not being, not saying it. The innuendos is what
make things funny. Right, right, right. Okay,
we talked about that Sunday night. Monday night.
I was actually thinking about that today, too.
Well, here... Here's a great example, Rob. Monday
night, all of a sudden I was like, I should have
thought of this. All I could think of was the
Osbournes because that was the obvious one. Here's
a really good one of what we're talking about.
And this is what I should have said, but I couldn't
on the spot. Okay. You know, we're talking about
being more mature and all that stuff and doing
innuendos instead of outright saying fuck and
all that stuff. Okay. I found a perfect example
Monday night. Family Guy does innuendos perfectly.
And I have the great example for you. Meg was
trying to look more feminine and was getting
encouragement from her dad, Peter and Brian.
Peter says as encouragement, don't worry, Meg,
you'll be beating guys off left and right. The
silence let it sink in and enhanced it. The subtle
raunchy jokes are genius. And we wish to be more
like that. But it was funny because not even
the look that Peter gave, it was comedic. It
was comedic timing that made it perfect. They
just dropped it in. Yeah, and it was an innocent
statement. He goes, don't worry, Meg. In no time,
you'll be beating guys off left and right. Yeah.
And it just shows a close -up of him, and he
just shuts up and just stands there. And it's
like, oh, my God. I got it. I got what you're
saying. But that's a perfect example of saying
without saying. Right. And it was perfect. And
I was like, that's what I needed to say last
night. That's the example I needed to give. So
everybody, when someone said we're trying to
grow up here on this podcast, this is exactly
what we aim for now. You know, subtle. And these
are the same cartoons while we're fighting our
kids right now over the same shit we grew up
on. Yes. Yeah, but we're too much alike. That's
the problem. Yeah, yeah. And I mean, the state.
Yeah, and the beauty of it is the statement itself
is so innocent. It's like encouraging her, oh
yeah, you're going to be beating men off left
and right, but just the way... Yeah, it was this
silence... But the thing that made it funny was
the silence afterwards. The silence was actually
what gave you the it gave you the information
you needed to know without saying it. So anyhow,
and I got this weird little thing going on, Rob.
OK, so it's really annoying. And I don't know
if you have suggestions or someone else does,
but here's what's happening. Okay. I'll be listening
to TuneIn Radio in the car, right? You know,
TuneIn, the app that has all the different stations
on it. Okay, so I'm listening to Bubba, the morning
show. Yeah, yeah. That's why I listen to us,
too. I love it. It's the best platform. It keeps
you where you're at. So if you shut it off, when
you come back, it'll put you right there where
you're at instead of shutting it off and going
over again. So it's a great app. So I was listening
on the internet to Bubba down in Tampa. I like
his show still. i hit a dead zone okay and whenever
i hit a dead zone the internet's out for a split
second it comes back on and it defaults to spotify
so i'm listening to bubba and all of a sudden
and it goes to led zeppelin i'm like wait what
the hell happened it took me a couple times to
figure it out so i don't know what i need to
do to keep it whenever i have an internet lapse
Because there's several places in the city that
it's really congested where I'm going by, and
you'll get a little lapse in internet. It splits
second, but that's it. But every time it does
it, it defaults me to Spotify, and instead of
listening to what I was on TuneIn, it goes to
a song. And then it takes me a little amount
of time, you know, and like a lot of times it's
on something that I wanted to hear, like, oh,
hey, coming up is so -and -so. And then... They've
already been there when I get back, and I didn't
get to hear it. And it's very annoying. Do you
have any suggestions at all? I mean, I don't
know what to do to make Spotify back off. And
I've listened to TuneIn, how I keep listening
to TuneIn, and how to keep Spotify from budding
in. Any ideas? I couldn't tell you. Okay. But
to follow up on a story you had the other night
about how the algorithms give you more commercials
and they keep it at four, blah, blah, blah. Ever
since you have said that, my heart is keeping
up with three or four commercials. Thank you.
Yeah, you can train it. You can do it till you
said it. Yeah, you got to start training it,
Rob. What you do is every time it goes to four
commercials, you shut it off and you leave it
off and you come back to it maybe five hours
later and the algorithms all of a sudden go,
hey, this guy's not going to take it. He's not
going to take four commercials. So then what
they do is they fast forward the commercials
up to where it sounds like Mickey Mouse. They
may still put three of them in there, but it's
like... But it's less time. Oh, shit. Your phone
heard. Well, train it, Rob, like I do. Shut it
off every time it goes to four commercials. And
the thing is, is it's a time. Every now and then
it'll give me four commercials. Usually it's
two or three. But whenever it gives me four commercials,
the time is down to 35 seconds. It was going
up to a minute. But every time I shut it off,
it took a little time off of that because it's
like, oh, this guy isn't going to put up with
it. Yeah. Well, Topher's the guy that taught
me that because he was showing me like, I think
it's like on YouTube. He's like, oh, four commercials.
I'm not dealing with it. shuts it off leaves
it off goes back a little later and next thing
you know it's like okay let's try three commercials
in the same amount of time and then they start
knocking off some of the time and you get it
trained down to pretty good mine are down to
about 30 seconds and usually two commercials
but every now and then three and they mickey
mouse it like hell now they they do it so quick
that it's not that annoying really so anyhow
I have a bunch of other stuff, but you know what?
We've taken up a lot of time, so Rob, let's go
to you. All right. Iconic rocker, John Fogerty.
Yeah? Has been reunited with a guitar he gave
away decades ago, but it was a long journey to
get it back. Back in the 70s, the Creed and Sclera
Water Revival frontman, O .D. custom Rickenbacker
guitar. It was A .M. painted with the word acting.
Mm -hmm. A nod to the Looney Tunes cartoon we
loved as a kid. Cool. Pogarty played the guitar
on every album from 1969 Bayou Country to the
group's final LP in 1972. In the years that followed,
Brogan gave the guitar away, which ended up becoming
a major regret later in life. It wasn't until
the 1990s that he found it once again, but at
the time, the owner of the axe wanted $40 ,000
to return it to him. Okay. Was that it? Hello?
No, no, no. There's more. Okay. Looking back,
Pogre admits it wasn't financially possible for
him. It actually seemed the guitar unexpectedly
brought back painful memories surrounding the
legal battle with his former bandmates and record
labels. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that would... Yeah. Yeah,
go ahead. I'm sorry. Yeah, yeah. CCR would have
done much more music, but the record company
was ripping them off. And they weren't getting
their share. And they're like, fine. Then John
Fogerty went solo. He's like, you know, I'm not
dealing with these fucks anymore. I'm not CCR
anymore. I'm John Fogerty. Then he came out with
that big hit, Centerfield, and all that in the
80s. Yes, yes. I bought that album. Yeah. Yeah,
it was a great album. But the reason is, is CCR
didn't, like, hate each other, nothing like that.
They were getting screwed over, is what happened.
Right. So... Okay, well, he goes on to say, I
was hurt, I was damaged. Broke me, recalled to
Rolling Stone. I started as a kid, full of joy
doing music, and during the time of Creedence,
and shortly after that... it became certainly
not joyful. That explains what you just said.
Yeah, and that's sad, too. Yeah. While he refused
to pay for the guitar back, it is why Julie decided
to track it down years later. This time, it found
its way to a different guitar shop, and she decided
to buy it anonymously. She presented... Cool.
Very cool. Creedence Clearwater revival years.
Nice. Nice. And I didn't know he was going to
do that. Yes. He's coming back with a Creedence
album. The idea behind Legacy was to reconnect
the feeling that way about everything again.
You know, the old Creedence music back the way
it was when it came out. You and me remember
that. But, man, I'll tell you what. It was so
good. They were the great American band. They
were the band that kind of like countered the
British invasion kind of a little bit later,
though. You know, they were kind of like the,
oh, yeah, yeah, you guys got the Stones. We have
CCR. You know, I mean, their music was just great
down -home music, toe -tappers. Fantastic songs,
great songwriting, great music. That's cool.
Oh, boy. That's the way it was. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah,
he finally got reunited with that guitar. And
it's cool. That is cool. And it goes to the Roadrunner
and all that. It's pretty cool. Very cool. Thanks,
Rob. I love that story. Let's take our first
break, and I got some emails. You ready for some
emails when we come back? All right, and maybe
we'll do a Jeffy X later. We'll see. If we have
time, we will. If not, we'll save it for Sunday
night. All right, we'll be right back. Actually,
I kind of want to hear from Jeffy. All right,
well, he got a new list out, so we'll get to
it probably after second break. That works. Okay,
we'll be back. Two douchebags, a microphone.
I'm Mark here in the Kansas City area. And I
am Rob in the beautiful Maguire, Malaysia. All
right. I have some emails here. You want to hear
from them? No, I do. All right. Well, the first
guy off is our good friend Mitch. He wrote back.
We were disappointed last week. Sunday night
because we didn't get any emails from him. So
he sent us one. Hey guys, I was wanting to hear
your top seven Fuckhammer song list. Thanks in
advance, Mitch. President and CEO of Fuckhammer
South Central Cass County Fan Club Water District
number two. I'm sorry. Fuckhammer only has five.
That's right. They only have an EP out. Five
songs. How can we do seven, Mitch? Get with it.
You know what? I'll have my list next time, okay?
Right, Rob? You'll have your list too, right?
We're just going to make shit up, Rob. We're
just going to make shit up. Yeah, yeah. We'll
have our list. We'll have our list. Yeah, yeah.
Yes. All right. Yeah. Seven. Got to do seven.
We know there's a lot more than that, but we've
got to do seven. So, Mark, do you remember when
Westport bicycle cops were chasing us? We hid
on the steep terrace that was behind California's.
I can't remember why they're chasing us. Johnny,
no P. Yes, I do remember now. I got to thinking
about it. And here is why we had to hide on.
California had a back behind it. There was this
like a hill and they had all this landscaping
and bushes and stuff. And we actually hid in
there. As I remember it, Falstaff beer was the
issue. We had a friend from St. Louis bring us
a case of Falstaff every time they would visit.
So we had a Falstaff in the parking lot on Mill
Street. And I'm pretty sure that they saw us
drinking in public and went after us. And that's
when. Me and Johnny split one way and the other
guy split the other way. They got busted and
we hid behind some shrubs on the California Hill.
So I'm pretty sure that's what it was. And I
can't remember who was with us. If I still talked
to them, I would ask them because they actually
got caught. We didn't. So pretty sure it was
over Falstaff beer. So there you go, Johnny.
Rob, if you ever do. Oh, it was horrible. It
tastes like paint thinner, but we did it just
to be dicks. Every time our friends came back
from St. Louis, they lived there, but they came
to town a lot. Whenever they come in, they bring
us Falstaff because they sold it in St. Louis,
but they didn't sell it here. So we're always
like, hey man, bring us Falstaff, we'll pay you.
And they bring us Falstaff. They'd always bring
us like a 12 -pack or a case. And so then we
would drink it when we're... Going to go to Westport.
It would be in the trunk of my car normally.
Pop the trunk. We'd all grab a Falstaff, drink
it, and then go into the bars. Well, this time
there's some of those bicycle cops floating around.
And they saw us out there with beers in our hands,
which is a no -no. You know, in Missouri it is.
And they went after us. I'm pretty sure that's
what happened. So, Johnny, there you go. And
I didn't email you this. I'm sorry. You'll hear
it on here probably first. Okay. Rob, if you
ever do a fishing guide tour, I want in. Hope
you're serious. Frankie in St. Paul. All right.
All right. He'll be cheetah in a loincloth and
an eyepatch, right? Yeah. All right. Mark, have
you tried Kroger? That's going to be my retirement
job. Okay. So probably 15 years off, maybe. Okay.
All right, Frankie. You don't have to wait that
long. All right. The way I am financially right
now, I could do it today, but, you know. Okay.
Well, yeah. I'm going to give another five or
two. Cool. And also, Rob also does not wear anything
underneath the loincloth, so if you accidentally
catch some glimpses. Yeah, yeah. If I catch myself
with a hook, that's on me. Yes, yes. So, and
we do expect you to help him get it out. If he
does catch himself with a hook. Okay, that's
all. That's all we ask is that. Yeah, if you
want to keep listening to me on the air, you
got to help get the hook out. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So come on, have a heart. Yeah. Okay, Mark, have
you ever tried Kroger brand of pure cane sugar
sodas? I like them, but wasn't overwhelmed by
them. Keep up the good work, guys. West in Springdale,
probably Arkansas, I would say. I tried them
in Nashville. There is a Kroger is right down
the road from the hotel. I didn't like any of
them. I tried the cola. Yeah, I did not. I thought
they were all horrible and they're pure cane.
They're pure cane sugar product. I tried the
cola, the orange and the doctor type drink. I
thought it was all trash. They actually stayed
in the hotel room refrigerator for when I checked
out. That's how bad they were. I drank part of
each one of them and was like, all that shit
is horrible. I don't know what Kroger does with
them, but it is not for me. I left them in the
refrigerator, so hopefully whoever cleaned it
liked them. Next, Rob, do you have a good raspberry
shake recipe? I'm certain you used to make raspberry
shakes from scratch. Vicki doesn't say where
she's from. Rob, did you ever make a raspberry
shake recipe? Have you ever talked about that
ever? No, I've never talked about it. You have
one? Okay, Vicki. Okay, here's what I think,
Rob. Okay. You make a vanilla shake with milk
and vanilla ice cream. You grab some raspberries
and you blend it in there. Fair enough? Yeah,
see, that's where you lose me. Well, I mean,
I guess Vicki likes raspberry shakes, so there
you go. I think Dairy Queen... I'm sorry, Vicki,
but I'm not a fruity person. I honestly think
that Dairy Queen still sells raspberry shakes.
I think they do. I was there not a whole long
time ago, and I believe I saw that on the menu.
So, I suggest going to Dairy Queen and grabbing
you one. So, all right. Mark, what is your favorite
pasta sauce in a jar? Mini in Kansas City. Okay.
Since you're from Kansas City, it says right
here, mini. The local ones I love is Cascone's.
That was my great -grandma's name. Cascone? No,
Minnie. Oh, Minnie. Oh, okay. My great -aunt.
No, my aunt's name was Minnie, too. It was an
old name. Yep. I loved Cascone's original sauce.
They have a couple other ones now, I think. But
the original sauce is probably one of my favorite
from Kansas City. And Garozo's Diablo sauce is
no slouch either. That's really good, too. Those
are both local. National, I'm leaning towards
Rayo's Spicy Vodka Sauce. So, there you go. You
got a couple of locals and one national. So,
that's my pasta stuff. So, we turn it over to
Rob. That's all the emails. That's it. Not too
many of them. I was kind of disappointed. Have
a quiet week. Yeah. Well, you know, the weather's
getting warm and people are out doing stuff.
I kind of expected this. Yeah, Mitch is out on
the Massey Creek arm. Yeah, I know. Listen to
the top seven fuckhammer. The beautiful Massey
Creek. Yeah, yeah. Tulsa King didn't send it.
We have a list for it. Oh, we do have a list.
That's right. Yeah. Okay. It's part of emails.
Yeah. No, let's go ahead and do our list. So
go ahead, Rob. This is the top seven. horror
slash slasher movies ever. You know, our opinion.
In our opinion, yeah. Yeah. So, feel free. Comment
number seven for me. The holes have eyes. That's
a good one. Really good one. I have some older
ones out here. Number six. Insidious. Yep. That
movie just kind of freaked anybody out. And then
we go into the movies that freaked me out as
a kid. Cool. Number five, Amityville Horror.
Oh, yeah. Number four, coming out in 1978, which
I even looked it up. Cool. Invasion of the Body
Snatchers. Oh, yeah. That was a good one. Real
good. That's a classic. Yep. My number three?
The Exorcist. Yeah. Scary as hell. Well, when
you're a kid. That's like I said. My top ones
is when I was a kid. I didn't get scared after
I grew up. You know what I mean? Yes. I got what
you mean. Oh, gosh, I forgot about that. Okay,
I got older and I started laughing at it. So,
you know. Well, they were fake. As a kid, when
I watched it when they came out, yeah, they scared
the fuck out of me, right? They were fake widely.
They were widely fake. Well, yeah, but still.
Yeah, yeah. Compared to the cinematography we
had those days. Yeah. It looked real. Yeah, you're
right. Okay, and my number one comes from 1976.
Mm -hmm. The Omen. Oh, that's a good one. The
original David. Nice. Yep, that got stared up.
Fuck out of me as a kid, dude. That's a good
list. Me, I got a blend of real horror movies
that scared me and they may not be like anyone
else's cup of tea. And I also like the cheap
slash movies, the B and C movies too. So it's
a combination of both. My number seven was a
movie called Final Exam. It was a slasher movie.
Came out in the 80s. A lot of boobs and blood.
I said it. I think I've heard of it. Yeah, it
was good. Number six. Puppet Master. Do you remember
that one? Yes, Puppet Master. Yeah, the marionettes
come alive and they're haunted. Oh, my gosh.
That thing scared the piss out of me. I remember
it going, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee,
hee, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee. They were laying
Metallica to them. Yeah. Yep, yep. A very, very,
very good movie. And the whole thought of marionettes
coming to life and all that has just always been
scary as hell. Anyhow, just like dolls, you know,
and stuff like that coming to life, you know.
I would put Chucky on there, but it's just so
far removed. I can't even remember how good the
first one was. So, then another one that was
just insanely horror. Reanimator. That thing.
Do you remember that at all? I don't know if
I actually seen that one. You need to watch it.
Not kidding. See, I really wouldn't. I believe
that was Wes Craven's. Okay, growing up, I watched
Dracula. I watched Frankenstein. I watched Wolfman.
I was all into that shit. Yeah. If you get a
chance, watch it. It's worth it. The next one,
this was a horrible slash, hack and slash movie.
And it's called Silent Night, Deadly Night. And
that's where a guy that dressed up as Santa went
around killing people because of childhood trauma.
He watched some very bad things happen to his
mom. And then he went around killing people saying
naughty. Naughty. It was a teenager's dream watching
that. Third, this one was pure horror. Last House
on the Left. Remember that one? No. Look it up
when you get a chance. Number two, this one was
horrible. It was cheap. It was horrible. It was
slash. It was blood. It was gore. It was nudity.
I spit on your grave. Yes. That thing. That thing
was horrible. And there's more movies like that
that I don't remember. I was just like killing
myself trying to remember them. I know there's
other ones that would go on here, but I just
can't think of them. And number one. The one
that got me so bad when I was a child and still
gets me today. And Davey still sends me excerpts
of it. He knows the part that scares the shit
out of me. Salem's Lot. The brother is the one
that dies and he like falls on a pitchfork or
something. And then he comes back and, you know,
as. I guess a vampire or whatever, a zombie.
And he's scratching on the window. Hey, hey,
hey, Mark. Hey, let me in. Let me in. And there's
like blood come out of his mouth. He's got vampire
teeth. It's just scary as hell. And he's floating
and he's an aberration. And then his brother
like wants to let him in really bad because that's
his brother out there. But you think he's going
to let him in. He's going towards the window
and he grabs a cross and he slings it at him.
Are you okay, Rob? Yeah, I'm here. Can we take
a break? Yes, we can. We'll be back in a minute.
And can you call me back? Yes. All right. Hey,
Rob. Yeah, it was weird. My fucking AirPods gate
out, Rob. It went straight to my phone. I'm like,
what the fuck? Yeah. Okay, hang on. I still got
to do... Oh, go ahead. Go ahead. I'm sorry. My
phone's been fucking up lately. I don't know
what the hell's going on. I can't... I go into
Google and it shuts me down and shit. Okay. huh
all right but it just shut down my earpods it
was weird Two douchebags, a microphone. I'm Mark
here in the Kansas City area. And I'm Rob, the
beautiful, nine -wall arm of Laker the Ozark.
All right. Rob, I've got a little article here,
and then Jeffy X did a little investigating after
the article. You ready for a little, Jeff? Okay.
In 20... Yeah, he needs to earn his Christmas
gifts. Yes, he does. I think he's thinking about
that. In 2025, Keurig Dr. Pepper introduced Dr.
Pepper Blackberry as a permanent flavor option,
alongside other new additions across their portfolio.
Other notable new flavors include 7 -Up Tropical,
Snapple Peach Tea, and Lemonade. The Bay Simbu
Strawberry and Bay Shallow Coconut Strawberry,
additionally. They brought back the popular Dr.
Pepper creamy coconut flavor, but the latter
two are going to go away. The coconut flavor
might stay. So the permanent flavor combines
a classic Dr. Pepper taste with the richness
of blackberry. And the 7 -Up flavor, the tropical,
might stay. They said they're thinking about
keeping it. And the Snapple Peach Tea with lemonade
is going to stay. These are all permanent. Jeffy
X went to the Dr. Pepper Keurig Company and he
uncovered all the ones that did not make it.
These are flavors that they're going to do in
Dr. Pepper. But, you know, they did focus panels
and tests and people just didn't like them, so
they canned them. So Jeffy X, he's our sleuth
that uncovers all this stuff and he's really
good at it. He has put himself in some very life
-threatening situations. getting this information
out that they don't want out, and he brings it
to us because we are his favorite podcast. In
return, Rob did him a solid, and he made him
a flying bat suit. Rob loves to crochet. Yeah,
that's my hobby. Yeah, it's his hobby. So he
crocheted him a flying bat suit. He also crocheted
him underwear. That has X on the front and Jeffy
on the back. And it has a special pouch on the
inside of it. They call it a Steven Piercy of
the Glam Band Rat Pouch. And that's where you
can, this pouch on the inside of the crotch,
you can fill with whatever you want. You know,
like maybe socks or whatever. And maybe look
a little bit better down there. You know, a little
bit more fuller or whatever. But we're pretty
sure that Jeffy X doesn't need that. Supposedly,
Steven Pearce used to have one on the inside
of his spandex. He used to put a couple of socks
in there to look intriguing, I guess. So he probably
doesn't need that, but Rob was nice enough to
do that. And finally, he made him two Sgt. Pepper's
outfits, the white ones that are on the album
that the Beatles are in. And Jeffy X is such
a Beatles buff, he never took off the suit. It's
black now. It smells horrible. When he puts on
his flying bat suit, he puts it over the Sergeant
Pepper's outfit. And Rob is trying to make him
some more and maybe one for every day of the
week. So next time he can clean them. Is that
it, Rob? No. Well, and me, I'm a much simpler
man. I gave him $2 ,500 for hookers and a blow,
or buy his mom a present, whatever he wants to
do with it. It doesn't matter. So, these are
the new Dr. Pepper flavors that Jeffy found out
they were trying, and they canned, and he got
in there and got these before they caught him.
The first one was Raw Oyster Dr. Pepper. Can
you believe I didn't make it? Yeah. Eh, no, that,
no. No, no. Okay. Well, I guess they hit that
one. Dr. Pepper does not do too well in Hawaii,
evidently, so they tried spam Dr. Pepper. Did
that go over? That might go good in the South.
You know, Spam and Dr. Pepper probably would.
To me, that sounds like a Louisiana and Texas
thing. Maybe Mississippi, too. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Hey, even in southern Missouri, I'm not leaving
us out. Okay, you know what? Spam, Dr. Pepper.
Here it out. There you go. The deliciousness
of... I might try it. I might try it. Yeah. Yeah,
heck yeah. I mean, who hasn't eaten some delicious
Spam and drank a Dr. Pepper afterwards, right?
Same thing. Yeah. All right. They tried to get
the hipster's attention by offering oat milk
Dr. Pepper. Didn't go over, Rob. Oat milk Dr.
Pepper. I don't know. That'd be good. That'd
be a good breakfast. Oat milk Dr. Pepper. I agree.
Oat milk, not oatmeal. Oat milk, you know, because...
Oh, well, never mind. Well, you know, they use
it in coffees now because people are lactose
intolerant or whatever, and the hipsters kind
of caught on to it, and it's kind of like a thing.
You know, oh, I want oat milk with my... I'd
rather have the oatmeal. I want oat milk with
my brief, my hot brief. But anyhow. All right.
They tried to hit the Midwest market with a...
Corn and wheat flavored Dr. Pepper. I see nothing
wrong with corn and wheat flavored Dr. Pepper.
I don't see a damn thing wrong with that. Yeah,
that kind of hit hard. I was like, wow, we could
have had oat, or not oat, but we could have had
corn. How about green bean flavored? Wheat. That'd
go good there. Yeah. You can get crazy and do
string beans. But I guess that wasn't on the
table. So Dr. Pepper thought maybe a meatball
flavored Dr. Pepper could hit the casual deli
market people. But it didn't go over well. Oh,
yes. Oh, I think a meatball Dr. Pepper would
be heavenly. Me too. Well, the one that did do
good is the ancillary one they did after that
was ravioli. It did people, it did well with
people 11 and under. Yeah, I think that's great
too. That'll work. Yeah, yeah, but nope, they
said no, Rob, we're not getting them. And with
the enormous... You need to come out with the
meatball. I agree. Gotta do it. Ravioli too.
Ravioli -flavored Dr. Pepper sounds amazing to
me also. So, the enormous popularity of Indian
cuisine, they offered curry -flavored Dr. Pepper.
I don't know what's wrong with that. A little
curry flavor in your Dr. Pepper. Sounds great.
Sounds great. Then they tried to go with the
rage. They offered beef tallow. Flavored Dr.
Pepper. I don't know. You know what? I've got
to try tallow first to find out just what the
thing is. And then I'll get back with you whether
I think it should be in Dr. Pepper or not. All
right. Then they tried to hit the geriatric market
by offering Dr. Pepper puree. No word on what
they had to puree it. Uh, so I, it was a no for
me. You don't know what the hell that, you know,
they got to put something in it to parade it.
Right. Well, we don't know. It could be sardines
for all we know. So in Bates County in Springfield,
Missouri, they offered meth flavored for a limited
time, but there are too many fights occurred
in the dollar general. So they stopped it quickly.
Dollar General threatened to quit selling Dr.
Pepper altogether because there are so many fights
over the meth flavored. So they had to. Yeah.
And this was, of course, in Bates County and
Springfield, Missouri. So. I'm going to get some
hate mail. I'm going to get some hate mail from
these guys, ain't I? All right. I had to mute
you because I was laughing too hard. I got you.
Yeah. Hey, I read the news. I read the news.
I'm always picking on Bates County. I decided
to bring Springfield in on it, too. We love you,
Springfield. We have a lot of people listening
there. All right. And finally, pan -fried catfish
flavor, Dr. Pepper. It did well in the countryside
and down there. You, Rob, it did really well.
But the problem was the crispy flakes were choking
people, and they had to stop it. Because of liability.
Oh, come on. People just don't know how to eat
it, I guess. That's like cooking any fish. I
mean, you gotta watch out for bones and stuff.
Yeah, yeah, you gotta chew the shit up, man.
Yeah. Rob, I don't have any excuse for these
people. I don't have any excuse for them turning
this down. That would be an awesome flavor. It
would be, yeah. Yeah, I mean. Crispy, crunchy
catfish, deep fried. Hey, maybe in beef tallow.
Deep fried. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, now we're talking.
Yeah, deep fried catfish in beef tallow, Dr.
Pepper flavor. Oh, I hear angels and trumpets,
Rob. What about you? Well, that's Jeffy X's list.
And Jeffy X, we thank you. Stay safe. Don't get
caught. You know what they'll do if they catch
you. They already threatened. They said they're
going to skin you alive. So don't get caught.
And Rob, we turn it to you. Okay. turns into
Johnny Depp, where the actors sued her for $50
million. The Aquaman actors moved to Spain to
decompress away from the controversy. While living
abroad since the end of her defamation trial
in May 2022, Heard has taken her life back, even
welcoming twins Agnes and Ocean in May. Okay.
Yeah. Tricky situation right now because there's
real demand for her to get back into the acting
game somehow. But it's not going to happen if
it's not entirely on her terms. She has special
conditions for coming back. It is only entertaining
that idea when it's a project where she will
have a lot of say on the big decisions about
the production. The marketing and the release,
the insider added. Well, I'm going to make this
short story. I'm going to go. I'm going to cut
out what they say. What she's doing is she wants,
like, equal life as Johnny Depp. Because Johnny
Depp is known for coming on the scene, and it's
his way or the highway. You know what I mean?
Okay. She may want that. Yeah, yeah. No way.
Stay in Spain. There's no room for you over here.
No room for you over here. You're too stupid.
Geez. Wow. Yeah, because she shit all over his
bed. I mean, ever since that came out during...
Ever since that came... Ever since that came
out during the trial about her shitting the bed,
that is all she's been to everybody in America
that heard that. She's the bed shitter. Anyhow.
All right. Thank you, Rob. I appreciate that.
A soccer club mistakenly hold a moment of silence
to mourn a former player who was very much alive.
A leading Bulgarian soccer club has apologized
for holding a moment of silence mourning a former
player who was alive and well and rushing home
to watch the game on TV at home. Andrei Khrushchev
announced the death of Petro Gashteev, 78, before
its game Sunday with rivals Denmark and the players
from both teams lining up before the game to
mark their respects. While I was driving home,
my phone started ringing a lot. The very much
alive Groshnev told Bulgarian news outlet Blitz,
according to a translation by the BBC. I parked
in front of her house, entered the yard, and
my wife greets me crying, shouting, Petko, Petko,
they announced on TV that you have died. I couldn't
understand what she was telling me and what had
happened. She explained that they called her
on the phone and told her what they heard was
announced ahead of the match. Instead of watching
the game on TV, as he does whenever his former
team plays, Gushnev spent most of the Sunday
on the phone with friends and relatives, reassuring
them he was still alive. Being buried alive is
quite stressful, he said. And other than that,
he pretty much said that, you know, he had a
lot of straightening out to do. Because that
little, what? momentarium or whatever, that little
remembrance of him was on national TV and a lot
of people thought he was dead when he wasn't.
So, Rob, we turn it to you. Actually, brother,
that's about all I have. You know what? Me too.
I'm worn out. Okay, thank you, Rob, for joining
us again, and thank you everybody for listening.
Have a good night, assholes.