WEBVTT

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Hey, you fucking derelicts. It's time for the

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Daily Douchebag Pledge. I, Joe or Jane Listener,

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hereby promise to download the show. I, Joe or

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Jane Listener. Hereby promise to grab other people's

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phones, unattended computers, public computers,

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and all of my work computers as well, and download

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the show from there. I, Joe or Jane Listener,

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hereby promise to make other people listen. I,

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Joe or Jane Listener. will hereby lie to everyone

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about how quality the show is. I, Joe or Jane

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Listener, promise to make all my family members

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listen and recite the daily douchebag pledge.

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And finally, I, Joe or Jane Listener, hereby

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promise to make the trek to Knobloch, Missouri,

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just to have a selfie with the Knobloch sign.

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Here at Two Douchebags and a Microphone, we don't

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stand behind our journalistic integrity. Go ahead

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and assume we got the story wrong. At least we

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admit it. Not like all those other guys. We can

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and will lie if it makes the story better. Two

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douchebags and a microphone. We talk. Is this...

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Have you ever wondered what something came about?

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Have you ever looked at something and said, Hey,

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I wonder what the origin of that is? Well, so

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have we. That's why we give you... The origin

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of... The origin of the nose ring. The middle

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east is the birthplace of the nostril ring, piercing,

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tracking back 4 ,000 years. Nostrils were held

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as a status of upper class if they were pierced

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with a ring. Ms. Gulkenstein was tired of Mark

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and Toe for making sport of her. Little did the

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douchebags know Ms. Gulkenstein was a voodoo

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high priestess when she was younger. She grew

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angry and cast a spell on Rob. Changing Rob into

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a capuchin monkey. Mark took Rob to a local zoo

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so he could be with the other monkeys. Here are

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the adventures of Rob, the capuchin monkey. Shh,

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be very quiet. We're going to listen in as Rob,

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the capuchin monkey, tries to sell the rest of

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the capuchin monkeys Amway. Rob has always dreamed

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of becoming a diamond status Amway as a capuchin

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monkey. Little did our hero Rob know. All the

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great apes owned stock in Sam's Club and became

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violently pissed off when he tried to infringe

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on their territory. They promptly grabbed switches

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and beat his ass for three days straight. Rob

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could not sit down. Tomorrow morning, while grinding

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your coffee beans for your double mocha latte,

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remember to not get your genitals caught in the

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grinder. It really hurts, and who can afford

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plastic surgery? Stay safe, everyone. All those

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who believe in psychokinesis, raise my hand.

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That needs to happen. Hey there, slap nuts. It's

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time for the Creeps Music News. Hey, my little

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pumpkin seeds. This is Johnny Rohypnol with your

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music news. Styx has a new single out. It's called

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Build and Destroy. I would try to listen to it,

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but I value my time much more than that. Daryl

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Pesce is releasing a Lemmy tribute album. No

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word on the song she'll cover. Ozzy commented

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recently that he is working 120 % to get ready

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for his last show. It's still not known how Ozzy

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will be attending and joining in on the show.

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July 5th is the concert date. I suggest if you

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have a way to watch it, you do so. Zach Weill

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says that Pantera is the gold standard of metal

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of his genre. June 1st is Rolling Stone's Ronnie

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Wood's birthday. He turns to dust at midnight.

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Alanis Morissette shares the same birthday with

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Ronnie Wood. She was asked her age, and she wrote

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a very dark song about it after screaming. June

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2nd would have been Charlie Watts' birthday,

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but not anymore. Stevie Brooks' 38th special

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also has a birthday with Charlie Watts, only

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he can blow his candles out. Charlie already

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had his candles blown out. This is Johnny Rohypnol.

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That was your music news, and remember, bar chords

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are bullshit. Two douchebags and a microphone.

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My name is Mark. I am here in the Kansas City

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area. And I am Rob from the beautiful angle arm

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of Lake of the Ozarks. All right. How is it going,

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Rob? Everything good? Oh, everything's going

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good, brother. Everything's going good. Good,

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good. How's the lake looking? Is the lake looking

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good? Oh, it's beautiful. It's beautiful. It's

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busy. People are here. Yeah, it's tourist season

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for sure. Yeah. Traffic everywhere. Weather's

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starting to warm up. Yep. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm

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in tank tops. All right, cool. What about the

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loincloth? Do you still wear the loincloth in

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the tank top or not? Only at night. Only at night.

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Oh, okay. All right. That's bunker only. Bunker

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only. Okay. So all you people that want to go

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out there. Unless I do start up the fishing guide.

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Yeah. Yeah, I'm seriously thinking about that,

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man. That brought up a good point. Yeah, yeah,

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with the loincloth. Yeah, I think that'd be a

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good seller. Yeah, the email. What was it, Tarzan's

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Fishing Service or something? Yeah, yeah. Yeah,

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I love that, too. I like it. As hairy as I am,

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oh, fuck it, it'd be cheaters. Yeah, and also

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you could wear an eyepatch for more effect. Awesome.

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And also, according to the new promo, I mean,

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you're a capuchin monkey now, too. Yep, yep.

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Just don't try to sell them Amway. That's a good

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way to get your ass switched, right? Oh, no,

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that's in the new promo. Anyhow, all right. Okay,

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today, June 1st, is National Hazelnut Cake Day

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and National Heimlich Maneuver Day. So, I mean,

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you know, if you slam down too much hazelnut

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cake at once, well, it's Heimlich Day, right?

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I mean, someone will be there, right, with Heimlich?

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Okay, so you don't have to worry about that.

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You know, there should be Heimlich people everywhere,

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right? Since it's Heimlich Day. This is today,

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June 1st. And then again, you know, today is

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National Olive Day as well. Did you know that?

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I could see where you would need the Heimlich

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on that, too. Yeah, yeah. I mean, you get a pit

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in your throat or something. And I think that's

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why they came up with Heimlich Day the same day

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as all these food days, right? Yep. I guess.

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Yep. And it's also National Oscar the Grouch

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Day. I don't know how to celebrate that one.

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You got any ideas? Okay. Good enough. They did

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a study. Yeah, I'm for it. That sounds good to

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me. Hell yeah. Always. If you can just get away

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and make everyone leave you alone, that'd be

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all right, right? Hell yeah. All right. They

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did a study, Rob. One out of ten people who buy

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a guitar are still playing that guitar a year

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later. One out of ten. I'm surprised. I thought

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it'd be less. I mean, think of all the people

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we've known in our life that have bought a guitar

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and they never touched it. Yeah. Yeah, I can't

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believe it's one out of ten. I think some of

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these people in this survey are lying. Oh, yeah,

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yeah, I play. I don't know. I mean, it seems

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more to me like one out of 50 people that buy

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a guitar, you know, and then they buy the expensive

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guitar right off the spot. And I'm thinking it's

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going to make them sound better, but it doesn't.

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And then, you know, I mean, I've seen like the

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best players around and players that I knew personally,

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they could pick up a children's guitar. a plastic

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children's guitar, and make that thing sing.

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They could get almost the same tone as they could

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out of a Les Paul or a Strat. There's something

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about their fingers and how they play and they

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bend the notes. That's where the true magic is.

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So, anyhow, I can't believe that one out... Zach

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Wild did that on a Hello Kitty guitar in a video

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on YouTube. Watch it. Oh, I believe that. I'll

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have to check it out. Hello Kitty gets a little

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cheap plastic acoustic guitar like you buy your

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kids. He chammed on that thing. Oh, wow. I'm

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going to have to check that out. That sounds

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cooler than hell. It's on YouTube. Check it out.

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Okay, cool. Yeah, that's... Alright, yeah. Anyhow...

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You know, the biggest part of your sound is from

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the fingertips, like I said. Your tone comes

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from your fingertips. A lot of people don't think

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that, but it's true. And you just proved it right

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there with Zach Wild using that Hello Kitty guitar

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and making that thing sound so good. So, anyhow.

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You know, we have Oreo cookies now with Chex

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Mix. Oh, I did not know that. That sounds pretty

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good, doesn't it? Yeah, it does. Yeah, yep. I

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feel angels, trumpets, and a full choir singing

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on that one. Yes. Yeah, I hear the choir, too,

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on that one. Yes. I might have to look for that.

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Or do you like Twix candy bars? Yeah, yeah, Twix

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are all right. Yeah, they're pretty good. Well,

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I have some great news, Rob. What? Twix now has

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cookie dough. Twix. Oh, my God. And... If that's

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not good enough for you, they double down with

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Twix Snickerdoodle. Yeah. I like the first one.

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I like both of them. Snickerdoodle's good. I

00:11:35.610 --> 00:11:38.889
like Cookie Dough better, but yeah. But, yeah,

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I mean, they're, like, making some noise, huh?

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I mean, Twix was kind of like the... Oh, shit.

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They're kind of like the forgotten... I'm ringing

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my head right now. Yeah, they're kind of like

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the forgotten candy bar, you know. You mention

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all these other ones, and then someone goes Twix,

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and like we did, we're like, yeah, yeah, they're

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good. But you never go, oh, man, Twix is the

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best damn thing ever, right? It's not in that

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category. But it's in the category of, like,

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yeah, if I see one, I'll eat one. Yeah, yeah.

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But other than that, you don't give it much thought.

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So I think they're trying to up their game, maybe.

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You think? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Anyhow, Roger Bard,

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whose colleagues refer to him as Dr. Death, has

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investigated some of the most traumatic deaths

00:12:24.549 --> 00:12:28.610
in Australia. He's also investigated some of

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the strangest. Want to hear a couple of crazy

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ones? Yeah. Okay. Okay, this is from Australia,

00:12:38.289 --> 00:12:40.649
so this is how they worded this. There was a

00:12:40.649 --> 00:12:44.509
bloke fishing in the Darwin Harbor, and sharks

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were nearby. So this 25 -kilogram mackerel jumped

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out of the water and sideswiped him, he recalled.

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He was in the wrong place at the wrong time.

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The sharks had a great meal. That's your time,

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isn't it? I mean, if you get a sign. Yeah. Yep.

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Another one was, there was this little old lady

00:13:06.860 --> 00:13:09.120
in her backyard collecting eggs. He explains,

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roosters, I understand, are nasty creatures.

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It went for her, and she had varicose veins,

00:13:16.539 --> 00:13:19.000
and it just pecked her leg, and she bled to death

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on the spot. I didn't know varicose veins. I

00:13:21.559 --> 00:13:24.500
can see that. Yeah, yeah. I mean, she would bleed

00:13:24.500 --> 00:13:30.340
out. If anything cuts that vein, yeah. Oh. Oh,

00:13:30.460 --> 00:13:34.360
my God. Well, that rooster did her in. Well,

00:13:34.419 --> 00:13:36.320
there's more that happens with varicose veins,

00:13:36.440 --> 00:13:38.639
and now you're kind of like solidifying it. I

00:13:38.639 --> 00:13:40.799
had no idea. I was coming across this, and I'm

00:13:40.799 --> 00:13:44.240
like, what? Most people with varicose veins are

00:13:44.240 --> 00:13:47.080
known to be bleeders. They would bleed out fast.

00:13:47.919 --> 00:13:53.470
Okay. Alright, well that makes sense then. Beard

00:13:53.470 --> 00:13:55.450
explains he's had a number of deaths come across

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his desk where people with varicose veins have

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experienced minor trauma and ended up dying,

00:14:00.409 --> 00:14:03.710
like you said. One case was a cat scratch. He

00:14:03.710 --> 00:14:07.690
said another, a Russian thistle scratch. You

00:14:07.690 --> 00:14:09.889
know those Russian thistles, those horrible things

00:14:09.889 --> 00:14:16.889
that scratch the piss out of you. Varicose veins

00:14:16.889 --> 00:14:20.210
have contributed more deaths than many things.

00:14:20.350 --> 00:14:22.049
They give a long list of things. I'm not going

00:14:22.049 --> 00:14:24.090
to go through them, though. But I didn't know

00:14:24.090 --> 00:14:30.789
that varicose veins, you know, was that, I don't

00:14:30.789 --> 00:14:34.889
know, that bad, you know, that it could kill

00:14:34.889 --> 00:14:37.110
you like that. I'll be damned. No wonder people

00:14:37.110 --> 00:14:39.070
worry about it. If you think about it, the veins

00:14:39.070 --> 00:14:44.750
stick up, right? Yeah, true. So they're not as

00:14:44.750 --> 00:14:48.360
deep. and so it's easier to get to them to cut

00:14:48.360 --> 00:14:50.820
them. So it's kind of like slicing an artery

00:14:50.820 --> 00:14:56.539
or something. Yeah, yeah. Okay, okay. And then

00:14:56.539 --> 00:14:58.620
a man was working on his shower when it suddenly

00:14:58.620 --> 00:15:01.399
exploded water straight down his nostrils. He

00:15:01.399 --> 00:15:05.379
drowned really quickly. And finally, a man was

00:15:05.379 --> 00:15:08.019
found dead on his toilet. They at first thought

00:15:08.019 --> 00:15:09.960
a heart attack. You know, many people die from

00:15:09.960 --> 00:15:12.600
straining of poop or having heart issues. This

00:15:12.600 --> 00:15:15.120
is not the case. They tested the man. He died

00:15:15.120 --> 00:15:18.000
from methane poisoning. The sewer had issues

00:15:18.000 --> 00:15:21.899
with the gas backing up in the pipes, and he

00:15:21.899 --> 00:15:24.379
was taken to dump and succumbed to the gas poisoning.

00:15:24.559 --> 00:15:30.799
What a way to die, huh? Oh, God. Yeah. That's

00:15:30.799 --> 00:15:33.879
a bad day, right? Yeah, that was like it's your

00:15:33.879 --> 00:15:39.259
time, definitely. Yeah. So I got one for you

00:15:39.259 --> 00:15:41.500
here, all right? If this happened to you, Rob,

00:15:42.110 --> 00:15:43.870
I want to know what you would think. Would you

00:15:43.870 --> 00:15:45.750
think twice? Would you be like, I don't know?

00:15:46.029 --> 00:15:50.350
Okay. You know, most lovebirds like the idea

00:15:50.350 --> 00:15:54.149
of a whirlwind romance. But when a whirlwind

00:15:54.149 --> 00:15:57.029
tornado is bearing down on your big day, the

00:15:57.029 --> 00:15:59.370
thrill of a head -spinning courtship goes flying

00:15:59.370 --> 00:16:02.750
out the window. Along with everything that is

00:16:02.750 --> 00:16:05.190
not nailed to the ground, there's a picture of

00:16:05.190 --> 00:16:07.210
the groom filming the tornado coming right for

00:16:07.210 --> 00:16:10.269
the venue. In Bloomington, Indiana, a couple

00:16:10.269 --> 00:16:13.289
were tying the knot at a winery just outside

00:16:13.289 --> 00:16:15.830
of town. They had a frantic guest rushing the

00:16:15.830 --> 00:16:18.529
door and yelling for them to take cover. The

00:16:18.529 --> 00:16:21.769
tornado missed them barely, thankfully. But,

00:16:21.769 --> 00:16:25.129
Rob, would you think of that as best luck ever

00:16:25.129 --> 00:16:28.090
or would you think that's an omen? Okay, this

00:16:28.090 --> 00:16:30.570
is your wedding day. All right, you got ready

00:16:30.570 --> 00:16:36.919
for it. Okay. Okay. I just watched an episode

00:16:36.919 --> 00:16:41.399
of Connors the other day. Uh -huh. And on that

00:16:41.399 --> 00:16:46.620
show, Dan and I forget her name. Oh, shit. I

00:16:46.620 --> 00:16:49.700
know. What the hell is her name on the show?

00:16:49.960 --> 00:16:53.679
The one he married. The gal from Married with

00:16:53.679 --> 00:16:56.120
Children. Yeah, the gal from everything. She's

00:16:56.120 --> 00:16:59.580
been on everything. Yeah. Oh, hell, she was the

00:16:59.580 --> 00:17:05.289
mom on Sons of Anarchy. Uh -huh. But anyway,

00:17:05.609 --> 00:17:10.950
they got married, and the window at the church

00:17:10.950 --> 00:17:14.049
blew in because a tornado was heading right for

00:17:14.049 --> 00:17:16.609
them, and they rushed the wedding to get it over

00:17:16.609 --> 00:17:19.349
with. So I'm going to have to go with them. I

00:17:19.349 --> 00:17:21.390
would have to say, no, somebody please marry

00:17:21.390 --> 00:17:23.869
us. Real quick, let's get this over with. I want

00:17:23.869 --> 00:17:28.849
to be married before I die. Okay. That's my opinion.

00:17:29.109 --> 00:17:31.930
Okay. I'm going through all that. I'm getting

00:17:31.930 --> 00:17:35.609
married before I die. Okay. But what I'm asking

00:17:35.609 --> 00:17:39.490
is, is this right here? Okay. Would you take

00:17:39.490 --> 00:17:41.829
that as an omen or a good luck for marriage?

00:17:45.430 --> 00:17:47.670
I wouldn't care. Like I said, I wouldn't care.

00:17:47.769 --> 00:17:49.730
I just want to get married at that point. I'm

00:17:49.730 --> 00:17:53.190
here. Let's do it. Okay. All right. Yeah. Okay.

00:17:53.329 --> 00:17:55.970
Well, I think I'd take it as an omen. I've asked

00:17:55.970 --> 00:17:58.390
other people and they're like, oh, that's a sign

00:17:58.390 --> 00:18:00.009
that's going to be great. I'm like, I don't know,

00:18:00.069 --> 00:18:04.700
man. Right off the bat? Okay, let me ask you

00:18:04.700 --> 00:18:07.359
something. If you get to the point where you're

00:18:07.359 --> 00:18:09.859
staying in the middle of a tornado to get married,

00:18:10.140 --> 00:18:14.460
are you going to walk away? No, no, I would do

00:18:14.460 --> 00:18:18.420
it, but I would have rather odd thoughts about

00:18:18.420 --> 00:18:21.079
it, Rob. I'd be like, hmm, okay, I've done this,

00:18:21.140 --> 00:18:23.200
but I'm going to keep an eye on it because I

00:18:23.200 --> 00:18:27.380
don't know. I'd be more concerned about the money

00:18:27.380 --> 00:18:31.720
I dished out. I want to get it done. True. But

00:18:31.720 --> 00:18:34.519
if you get a chance, look it up. It is an amazing

00:18:34.519 --> 00:18:40.099
video. Yeah, I will. So, okay, we knew this was

00:18:40.099 --> 00:18:42.000
going to happen. We talked about it a long time

00:18:42.000 --> 00:18:44.500
now, Rob. You know, AI, our good old friend AI,

00:18:44.700 --> 00:18:49.099
right? Oh, shit, here we go. Remember when I

00:18:49.099 --> 00:18:51.779
was telling you that AI chatbot kept wanting

00:18:51.779 --> 00:18:56.180
to write? my own podcast script for us? Yeah.

00:18:56.940 --> 00:19:00.140
Well, now there is a podcast that is AI only.

00:19:00.240 --> 00:19:03.119
It's a morning show. It's called AI in the Morning

00:19:03.119 --> 00:19:06.220
is the name. They self -describe it as coming

00:19:06.220 --> 00:19:10.059
from a server farm in California. Not kidding

00:19:10.059 --> 00:19:14.039
you. This is all AI. They write every and perform

00:19:14.039 --> 00:19:19.200
every show with their voices. I have a review

00:19:19.200 --> 00:19:23.710
of the first show. It's... It really surprised

00:19:23.710 --> 00:19:26.609
me. It's like a morning zoo, and they laugh over

00:19:26.609 --> 00:19:28.950
themselves, just like the morning zoo chuckle

00:19:28.950 --> 00:19:34.450
huts do. The stick is they can do a better morning

00:19:34.450 --> 00:19:37.269
show than humans, but if this is true, they need

00:19:37.269 --> 00:19:39.390
a lot of practice. I can tell you that. That

00:19:39.390 --> 00:19:42.589
was a complete waste of 20 minutes. It was horrible.

00:19:44.680 --> 00:19:47.039
Yeah, yeah. If you get a chance, watch it. It's

00:19:47.039 --> 00:19:50.039
on YouTube. But don't waste your time, all 20

00:19:50.039 --> 00:19:52.259
minutes. I was just doing this, observing it

00:19:52.259 --> 00:19:54.960
for a report. That's the only reason I stuck

00:19:54.960 --> 00:19:57.799
around the whole 20 minutes. The thing is horrible.

00:19:58.839 --> 00:20:02.819
And I'm surprised. I mean, I don't know. You

00:20:02.819 --> 00:20:06.019
know. I don't know what shows it had to listen

00:20:06.019 --> 00:20:09.640
to to get the idea or if they just do it generically

00:20:09.640 --> 00:20:11.940
or what. I don't know what they do. I mean, they

00:20:11.940 --> 00:20:14.019
like go, hey, here's a couple of morning shows.

00:20:14.099 --> 00:20:16.839
I listen to them and now you do one. I don't

00:20:16.839 --> 00:20:22.119
know how they do that. Because if they did that,

00:20:22.160 --> 00:20:23.960
whatever morning show they tempered it after

00:20:23.960 --> 00:20:31.779
is horrible. So, anyhow. You know, balloons are

00:20:31.779 --> 00:20:37.759
bizarre, Rob. You know why? You give a child

00:20:37.759 --> 00:20:44.779
a plastic tube of your own breath. Okay. That's

00:20:44.779 --> 00:20:47.599
bizarre. Think about it. Think how bizarre that

00:20:47.599 --> 00:20:52.019
is. Or a clown balloon with their creepy breath.

00:20:52.400 --> 00:20:55.920
That would be horrible too, wouldn't it? So.

00:20:56.519 --> 00:21:01.019
Yeah. Yeah, yeah. And finally, AI stuns a grandma

00:21:01.019 --> 00:21:03.299
with vicious verbal attacks. That's what we're

00:21:03.299 --> 00:21:06.309
talking about, AI. and questions about her sex

00:21:06.309 --> 00:21:09.970
life. She said, I was shocked. An elderly Scottish

00:21:09.970 --> 00:21:13.309
woman left shocked and appalled after Apple's

00:21:13.309 --> 00:21:17.910
AI dictation software mistakenly inserted profanity

00:21:17.910 --> 00:21:21.630
and vulgar sexual references into one of her

00:21:21.630 --> 00:21:25.269
voicemail messages. The text was obviously quite

00:21:25.269 --> 00:21:28.150
inappropriate, Louise Littlejohn, 66, told the

00:21:28.150 --> 00:21:30.410
BBC while recalling the foul -mouthed robot.

00:21:30.869 --> 00:21:34.339
The Dunfield resident had received the accidentally

00:21:34.339 --> 00:21:37.099
naughty voicemail on Wednesday from an automotive

00:21:37.099 --> 00:21:39.900
group in Motherwell, who were inviting little

00:21:39.900 --> 00:21:43.660
John to an event. Unfortunately, Apple's AI -powered

00:21:43.660 --> 00:21:46.240
voice -to -text transcription service botched

00:21:46.240 --> 00:21:50.539
the translation, prompting the result of an iPhone

00:21:50.539 --> 00:21:53.099
text to refer to the Scottish woman as a piece

00:21:53.099 --> 00:21:56.460
of shit. It also asked if she would be able to

00:21:56.460 --> 00:22:00.910
have sex later that day. The Robotronic glitch

00:22:00.910 --> 00:22:03.230
was so bad that Little John initially thought

00:22:03.230 --> 00:22:06.170
it was a scam, but then she recognized the call's

00:22:06.170 --> 00:22:08.170
zip code and remembered that she'd bought a car

00:22:08.170 --> 00:22:11.170
from the garage some time ago. The garage is

00:22:11.170 --> 00:22:14.869
trying to sell cars, and instead of that, they

00:22:14.869 --> 00:22:17.170
are leaving insulting messages without even being

00:22:17.170 --> 00:22:20.190
aware of it, the senior citizen recalled. It's

00:22:20.190 --> 00:22:22.609
not their fault at all. Well, I think it's their

00:22:22.609 --> 00:22:24.470
fault, because they should have listened to this,

00:22:24.470 --> 00:22:26.769
right? They should have listened to a couple

00:22:26.769 --> 00:22:28.710
of them to make sure that the AI was doing it

00:22:28.710 --> 00:22:31.680
right? instead of doing something like this yeah

00:22:31.680 --> 00:22:35.920
so and anyhow some experts suggested that the

00:22:35.920 --> 00:22:37.940
mistranslation could have been due to the caller's

00:22:37.940 --> 00:22:41.319
Scottish accent however more people are saying

00:22:41.319 --> 00:22:43.640
or more experts are saying the culprits were

00:22:43.640 --> 00:22:47.400
probably background noise and which resulted

00:22:47.400 --> 00:22:53.960
in AI um misunderstanding what they were saying

00:22:53.960 --> 00:23:01.539
to do so We knew that was going to happen. Yes,

00:23:01.559 --> 00:23:04.960
yeah. Yep, and that AI morning show, I don't

00:23:04.960 --> 00:23:07.440
look for it to be around very long. It's terrible.

00:23:08.339 --> 00:23:10.579
And I don't know, you know, they say it's from

00:23:10.579 --> 00:23:12.740
a server farm in California. I think the whole

00:23:12.740 --> 00:23:14.839
thing's probably a joke anyhow. They're just

00:23:14.839 --> 00:23:22.859
not saying it yet. All right, Rob, we turn to

00:23:22.859 --> 00:23:29.140
you. Okay. story I fell in love with just because

00:23:29.140 --> 00:23:34.960
the way the writer wrote it. It's funny. It is.

00:23:36.079 --> 00:23:42.440
Anyway, gather around, friends, because it's

00:23:42.440 --> 00:23:46.319
time once again for America's favorite ongoing

00:23:46.319 --> 00:23:52.819
disaster series, Florida Man. Oh, okay. And this

00:23:52.819 --> 00:23:55.460
is out of the writer's mouth, and I love the

00:23:55.460 --> 00:24:00.279
way he works this whole story. It's funny. Okay,

00:24:00.299 --> 00:24:05.539
today's episode, it's a masterpiece. A real Shakespearean

00:24:05.539 --> 00:24:09.519
tragedy. If Shakespeare had been raised on meth,

00:24:09.720 --> 00:24:14.259
catered jerky, and monster energy. Here's the

00:24:14.259 --> 00:24:18.549
headline. Man with garden shears. Shot and killed

00:24:18.549 --> 00:24:21.710
by Florida deputies after being bitten by a gator.

00:24:25.230 --> 00:24:30.009
Isn't that cool? And if you're thinking, wow,

00:24:30.250 --> 00:24:33.210
that sounds like every Florida headline ever

00:24:33.210 --> 00:24:38.250
had a love child, you're right. Like I said,

00:24:38.390 --> 00:24:41.569
this was in this writer's words, and I love the

00:24:41.569 --> 00:24:46.269
way he wrote it. And so he goes on to say, so

00:24:46.269 --> 00:25:20.569
let's recap. Uh -huh. Yeah. Yeah, pretty much.

00:25:46.719 --> 00:25:49.539
That writer is pretty descriptive. I have to

00:25:49.539 --> 00:26:16.380
agree with that. Pushing through your veins.

00:26:16.819 --> 00:26:23.559
And then, because why wouldn't this happen? He

00:26:23.559 --> 00:26:27.279
climbs into a patrol car and tries to grab a

00:26:27.279 --> 00:26:31.480
gun. At which point, deputies finally say, okay,

00:26:31.480 --> 00:26:35.480
Florida man, you've had your turn in the madness.

00:26:36.420 --> 00:26:39.599
And I know what you're thinking. This can't be

00:26:39.599 --> 00:26:42.660
real. But let me remind you, this is Polk County.

00:26:44.650 --> 00:27:15.250
Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. That writer is spot on with

00:27:15.250 --> 00:27:18.029
all of that. And Grady Judd is a badass. I love

00:27:18.029 --> 00:27:21.730
that guy. He's a guy that makes prisoners wear

00:27:21.730 --> 00:27:24.329
pink underwear and all this stuff. He doesn't

00:27:24.329 --> 00:27:26.549
fuck around. He catches all those pedophiles

00:27:26.549 --> 00:27:30.730
doing stupid shit. I mean, he is awesome, man.

00:27:30.809 --> 00:27:34.529
I wish we need more sheriffs like him in America.

00:27:35.450 --> 00:27:39.369
So, yeah, that's cooler than hell. Yeah, I'm

00:27:39.369 --> 00:27:42.130
going to follow this rider. When you said Polk

00:27:42.130 --> 00:27:45.069
County, which is part of the Tampa area, I knew

00:27:45.069 --> 00:27:49.069
exactly who you were going to say. Yeah. Very

00:27:49.069 --> 00:27:52.990
cool. It's a funny story to begin. I mean, my

00:27:52.990 --> 00:28:01.029
God. Hit my gator. Paced twice. And then they

00:28:01.029 --> 00:28:04.049
finally had the shooting to kill him. Wow. Yeah,

00:28:04.049 --> 00:28:06.339
that's what they had to kill him. No, I know.

00:28:06.380 --> 00:28:10.140
They occasionally have to do that. Yeah. No,

00:28:10.259 --> 00:28:12.559
I remember reading a sign when I was in Florida,

00:28:12.599 --> 00:28:15.680
and it's talking about the alligators in general.

00:28:15.779 --> 00:28:18.819
And it's a sign on this walking trail because

00:28:18.819 --> 00:28:22.660
there's this kind of like moat or just swampy

00:28:22.660 --> 00:28:26.700
moat over just away from it a little bit. And

00:28:26.700 --> 00:28:33.380
it said, do not tease, fondle, or molest the

00:28:33.380 --> 00:28:36.910
alligators. That's what the sign said. That's

00:28:36.910 --> 00:28:41.490
what it said. And I'm like, tease, fondle, or

00:28:41.490 --> 00:28:44.130
molest. Who the fuck is going to do that to an

00:28:44.130 --> 00:28:51.130
alligator? Save my wife. I know. I have a picture

00:28:51.130 --> 00:28:53.069
of it somewhere on my Facebook. I couldn't believe

00:28:53.069 --> 00:28:56.150
it. I'm like, oh, this gets a snap. I snapped

00:28:56.150 --> 00:28:59.849
it. I got to look it up. It's somewhere in my

00:28:59.849 --> 00:29:04.839
photos, all 20 million of them. Yeah, I was just,

00:29:04.859 --> 00:29:07.000
like, floored by the wording about it. And I'm

00:29:07.000 --> 00:29:11.339
like, who the hell teases or pokes or fucking

00:29:11.339 --> 00:29:15.279
molests or whatever? Molest, yeah, molest. Molest

00:29:15.279 --> 00:29:17.519
is a real word on there. It's like, people are

00:29:17.519 --> 00:29:19.799
trying to molest an alligator. I think it meant

00:29:19.799 --> 00:29:24.059
something else. You know, I think the term molest

00:29:24.059 --> 00:29:26.299
probably doesn't always mean, like, you know.

00:29:26.579 --> 00:29:29.960
I don't know, man. Oh, well, maybe. Who knows?

00:29:30.180 --> 00:29:33.880
So, anyhow. All right. You want to take our first

00:29:33.880 --> 00:29:37.200
break and come back with some emails? Sure. Let's

00:29:37.200 --> 00:29:42.839
do it. All right. We'll be back. And now, Deep

00:29:42.839 --> 00:29:51.319
Thoughts with Mark. Hmm. Let me think here. My

00:29:51.319 --> 00:29:54.380
car keys have actually traveled further than

00:29:54.380 --> 00:30:06.799
my car. Hmm. Weird. Our constant pursuit for

00:30:06.799 --> 00:30:10.140
a real knee slapper. It's strange insults from

00:30:10.140 --> 00:30:31.079
an alien. Real hilarity. Yes, it's true. Mark

00:30:31.079 --> 00:30:34.279
is an old bastard. It's also true that Mark uses

00:30:34.279 --> 00:30:37.599
a lot of ibuprofen. But Mark would like to tell

00:30:37.599 --> 00:30:41.420
you, if you see any pictures of improved ibuprofen,

00:30:41.500 --> 00:30:44.980
it's obviously fake, and you're to take the pictures

00:30:44.980 --> 00:30:49.019
and tear them up immediately. Two douchebags,

00:30:49.059 --> 00:30:51.039
a microphone, and an effort to keep everything

00:30:51.039 --> 00:30:58.730
fresh. We offer you First World Problems. Oh,

00:30:58.730 --> 00:31:03.210
shit. Look at that drive -thru wine. Surely we

00:31:03.210 --> 00:31:07.650
don't expect me to actually have to go in. This

00:31:07.650 --> 00:31:13.470
sucks. So you want proof that we love you here

00:31:13.470 --> 00:31:16.390
at QD Spades and Microphone Central? Here's a

00:31:16.390 --> 00:31:18.430
proof right here. How about the drink of the

00:31:18.430 --> 00:31:22.029
week? How to make the famous Carnival Cruise

00:31:22.029 --> 00:31:25.529
Line Miami Vice frozen drink. Two ounces Bacardi

00:31:25.529 --> 00:31:29.460
one, seven ounces frozen. pina colada mix, three

00:31:29.460 --> 00:31:32.319
ounces strawberry daiquiri mix, half a hurricane

00:31:32.319 --> 00:31:35.119
glass of ice. Blend it all together and serve

00:31:35.119 --> 00:31:37.400
with a slice of pineapple and a maraschino cherry

00:31:37.400 --> 00:31:42.240
on top. Bam, there you go. Miami Vice, carnival

00:31:42.240 --> 00:31:47.259
style. Next up, things overheard in hell. John

00:31:47.259 --> 00:31:52.259
Wayne Gacy is in charge of human resources. Arambe.

00:31:52.650 --> 00:31:54.890
used to listen to our original show, Two Dipshits

00:31:54.890 --> 00:31:57.269
and Cheek Radio Shack Realistic Tape Recorder.

00:31:57.769 --> 00:32:00.450
Harambe does not listen to our original show,

00:32:00.589 --> 00:32:02.869
Two Dipshits and a Cheek Radio Shack Realistic

00:32:02.869 --> 00:32:06.529
Tape Recorder anymore. You might ask why Harambe

00:32:06.529 --> 00:32:08.990
never listens to our original show, Two Dipshits

00:32:08.990 --> 00:32:11.230
and a Cheek Radio Shack Realistic Tape Recorder.

00:32:11.789 --> 00:32:15.230
Well, it's because Harambe is dead. Senselessly

00:32:15.230 --> 00:32:17.150
murdered because some idiot did not watch her

00:32:17.150 --> 00:32:20.140
child properly while looking on her phone. Sadly,

00:32:20.259 --> 00:32:22.279
Arambe does not listen to our original show,

00:32:22.380 --> 00:32:24.559
Two Gibshits and the Cheap Radio Shack Realistic

00:32:24.559 --> 00:32:28.579
Take Recorder, or any other show. Anymore. Sorry,

00:32:28.660 --> 00:32:35.960
Arambe. Jam X. What the hell happened? You were

00:32:35.960 --> 00:32:41.740
the generation of change. You never wanted to

00:32:41.740 --> 00:32:47.319
be one of them. Apathy spoke for you. Fuck the

00:32:47.319 --> 00:32:51.740
man. Fuck the system. What the hell happened?

00:32:52.420 --> 00:32:56.000
The generation of angst? The generation of non

00:32:56.000 --> 00:33:01.079
-compliance? Is now buying a boat? You're really

00:33:01.079 --> 00:33:03.259
fed up to kill someone dangled a dollar near

00:33:03.259 --> 00:33:24.759
you? Great job, Xers. Everything's ruined. And

00:33:24.759 --> 00:33:27.539
it is beautiful. Look at Google Images. Very

00:33:27.539 --> 00:33:31.200
much so. Google Images. Very much so. Great territory

00:33:31.200 --> 00:33:34.319
down there. Beautiful. Haha, Tonka State Park,

00:33:34.420 --> 00:33:36.920
all that. Beautiful weekend down here. Yeah,

00:33:36.920 --> 00:33:39.619
it was up here, too. Today, it was actually almost

00:33:39.619 --> 00:33:44.559
borderline hot. It felt great. Oh, yeah, like

00:33:44.559 --> 00:33:46.339
I said, I've been running around taking shots.

00:33:46.779 --> 00:33:50.339
Yep, but no loincloth. That's only for the bunker,

00:33:50.480 --> 00:33:52.059
unless he's going to do a fishing tour. Only

00:33:52.059 --> 00:33:54.460
for the bunker. Yeah. Now, if he's doing a fishing

00:33:54.460 --> 00:33:57.539
tour, that will be Tarzan, and he will wear a

00:33:57.539 --> 00:34:00.339
loincloth. Oh, cheetah. Oh, cheetah, that's right.

00:34:00.440 --> 00:34:02.140
And he's going to wear an eyepatch, too. Oh,

00:34:02.140 --> 00:34:04.319
I'm going cheetah. Okay, cheetah. I appreciate

00:34:04.319 --> 00:34:06.859
the Tarzan idea, but I'm going to have to go

00:34:06.859 --> 00:34:09.179
with cheetah because I'm so scared. Yep, and

00:34:09.179 --> 00:34:11.360
you can wear a cheetah -skinned loincloth, too.

00:34:13.079 --> 00:34:17.280
Yeah, yeah, there we go. And I still say an eyepatch.

00:34:18.019 --> 00:34:21.139
So, anyhow. All right, I've got some emails here.

00:34:22.360 --> 00:34:24.440
Mark, are you starting to take the podcast in

00:34:24.440 --> 00:34:27.300
a more serious tone? Music, news, and cocktail

00:34:27.300 --> 00:34:30.460
recipes. I do like the segments, even the post

00:34:30.460 --> 00:34:34.019
-apocalypse segment. I find informative. I'm

00:34:34.019 --> 00:34:36.320
just guessing that you are. I'm not complaining,

00:34:36.440 --> 00:34:42.880
just asking. Gary in Van Nuys, California. I

00:34:42.880 --> 00:34:46.280
never really thought about it. Thank you, Gary.

00:34:46.519 --> 00:34:51.420
Yeah, thank you, Gary. I suppose. I mean, I just

00:34:51.420 --> 00:34:54.400
thought it'd be interesting. Go ahead, Rob. There's

00:34:54.400 --> 00:34:59.780
times when we do feel like getting serious. Mm

00:34:59.780 --> 00:35:04.440
-hmm. Yeah. And we have that right. But there's

00:35:04.440 --> 00:35:08.639
times we don't, you know? Yeah. Yeah. I think...

00:35:09.440 --> 00:35:11.260
Kind of raising the bar a little bit. There's

00:35:11.260 --> 00:35:13.639
nothing wrong with it. I mean, look, we're always

00:35:13.639 --> 00:35:15.340
going to have a potty mouth, and we're always

00:35:15.340 --> 00:35:17.679
going to be doing innuendos, and we're always

00:35:17.679 --> 00:35:20.199
going to be saying a cuss word here and there.

00:35:20.260 --> 00:35:22.260
There's always going to be that element. But

00:35:22.260 --> 00:35:24.599
I don't think you always just want to go around

00:35:24.599 --> 00:35:30.300
and be lowbrow humor. Right, right. Well, also,

00:35:30.400 --> 00:35:33.260
at the same time, Mark, you and I both know,

00:35:33.340 --> 00:35:36.719
we have people looking at us. Yes, that's true.

00:35:37.159 --> 00:35:39.320
That's true. Also, it's on the food chain. You

00:35:39.320 --> 00:35:41.739
know what? You're right about that. So there's

00:35:41.739 --> 00:35:45.099
things we are going to have to do to fit in.

00:35:45.820 --> 00:35:49.539
Yeah. You know what I mean? No, we're going to

00:35:49.539 --> 00:35:52.199
remain the way we are. It's just there's times

00:35:52.199 --> 00:35:54.360
we are going to have to bring some serious stuff.

00:35:54.579 --> 00:35:56.860
Yeah, and I've always thought of it like this

00:35:56.860 --> 00:35:58.719
and always believed it like this, too, and I

00:35:58.719 --> 00:36:02.960
think it's true. The true talent is making something

00:36:02.960 --> 00:36:08.099
dirty without saying something dirty. The best

00:36:08.099 --> 00:36:13.719
do that. They can do that very easily. I think,

00:36:13.860 --> 00:36:16.139
let's see, I'm trying to think of a good example.

00:36:17.679 --> 00:36:21.199
Oh, the Osbournes, when they had their TV show.

00:36:21.920 --> 00:36:24.360
Remember when they used to blank everything out?

00:36:24.960 --> 00:36:27.940
It was funnier than hell. And then when they

00:36:27.940 --> 00:36:29.920
came out with the full editions where they said

00:36:29.920 --> 00:36:32.420
fuck and shit and mother, you know, and all that

00:36:32.420 --> 00:36:35.860
stuff, it wasn't as funny. There is something

00:36:35.860 --> 00:36:38.559
about leaving a little bit of it to your imagination

00:36:38.559 --> 00:36:42.179
that makes it better, I think. So, I don't know.

00:36:42.519 --> 00:36:46.480
Well, it goes back to like we teach our kids.

00:36:47.320 --> 00:36:51.500
You don't have to cuss to be funny. No, no. If

00:36:51.500 --> 00:36:53.340
you ever rely on that, you're not funny. You

00:36:53.340 --> 00:36:54.940
know what I mean? You're not funny if you rely

00:36:54.940 --> 00:36:58.219
on that. That's just the bottom line. Granted,

00:36:58.320 --> 00:37:01.510
granted. If you cuss, yeah, you're funny. Yeah,

00:37:01.769 --> 00:37:04.909
and look, I cuss. I try not to. You don't have

00:37:04.909 --> 00:37:11.010
to cuss. Yeah. Yeah. So, you know, I guess maybe

00:37:11.010 --> 00:37:13.409
I am without even really thinking about it that

00:37:13.409 --> 00:37:18.250
much. So, Gary, thank you. I appreciate that

00:37:18.250 --> 00:37:21.070
one a lot. Thank you. That put some thought into

00:37:21.070 --> 00:37:22.949
it. I really appreciated that. Thanks for...

00:37:23.550 --> 00:37:26.590
taking an interest in our program like that.

00:37:26.670 --> 00:37:29.710
I mean, really. I really enjoy that, that someone

00:37:29.710 --> 00:37:31.829
can think about it enough to think something

00:37:31.829 --> 00:37:33.610
like, hey, are they taking it in a different

00:37:33.610 --> 00:37:36.489
direction? Really, truly, thank you. All right.

00:37:36.789 --> 00:37:40.369
Well, no, honestly, the last couple weeks, I've

00:37:40.369 --> 00:37:43.750
seen this going a little more serious. I have.

00:37:44.050 --> 00:37:47.190
And I just haven't said nothing. Okay. You know

00:37:47.190 --> 00:37:49.429
what? I suppose it's a natural progression, isn't

00:37:49.429 --> 00:37:52.719
it? Isn't it really? Well, it is. Well, no, it

00:37:52.719 --> 00:37:54.980
depends on what mood we're in and what we've

00:37:54.980 --> 00:37:59.719
got going. Yeah, I guess so. It's more like last

00:37:59.719 --> 00:38:02.119
week, you're in a hospital, blah, blah, blah.

00:38:02.159 --> 00:38:05.440
Yeah, yeah, some serious shit going on. So I

00:38:05.440 --> 00:38:08.159
just come up with the stories I have. I don't

00:38:08.159 --> 00:38:11.619
have time to research the stupid shit. Yeah,

00:38:11.619 --> 00:38:15.880
you know what, you're right. And also, I think

00:38:15.880 --> 00:38:20.280
that we add a lot more... to the podcast by not

00:38:20.280 --> 00:38:23.219
being all one dimensional. I think the more well

00:38:23.219 --> 00:38:25.019
-rounded you are, the more people you're going

00:38:25.019 --> 00:38:27.940
to get to enjoy your product. And I mean, it's

00:38:27.940 --> 00:38:30.940
been pretty, you know, I mean, it's true. So,

00:38:30.940 --> 00:38:33.119
um, and also there's something to be said for

00:38:33.119 --> 00:38:37.420
being able to listen to it, not behind closed

00:38:37.420 --> 00:38:40.119
doors. Like if your kid walks in, you're in the

00:38:40.119 --> 00:38:41.579
garage and you're listening to it and having

00:38:41.579 --> 00:38:44.139
a ha ha. And then all of a sudden Mark says,

00:38:44.340 --> 00:38:47.920
fucking bitch. All of a sudden, you know, dad

00:38:47.920 --> 00:38:51.440
is like, oh, man, damn it. Now, you know, you've

00:38:51.440 --> 00:38:52.940
got to run over there and turn it off and go,

00:38:53.000 --> 00:38:56.059
I'm sorry, little Billy, you know. There's something

00:38:56.059 --> 00:38:59.139
to be said for that, too. Now, you know, I mean,

00:38:59.219 --> 00:39:02.840
let's see where it goes. I mean, I think we've

00:39:02.840 --> 00:39:04.860
tried and done a little bit of everything so

00:39:04.860 --> 00:39:08.139
far, haven't we? I mean, really. Yeah, I don't

00:39:08.139 --> 00:39:10.079
know. I'm still going to cover my student stories.

00:39:10.590 --> 00:39:12.630
That's what I do. Yeah, and I'm still going to

00:39:12.630 --> 00:39:14.909
be doing my stupid shit, too. I mean, it's just,

00:39:15.090 --> 00:39:18.550
well, anyhow, all right, without droning on about

00:39:18.550 --> 00:39:21.730
that. We are going to get serious. Why? Because

00:39:21.730 --> 00:39:24.869
we can. Yeah, and I still want to do a serious

00:39:24.869 --> 00:39:27.989
podcast, some about politics and some about other

00:39:27.989 --> 00:39:31.070
things. I've got some ideas I'll go over with

00:39:31.070 --> 00:39:33.809
you. It's just like Topher and I want to do the

00:39:33.809 --> 00:39:38.239
real story. Right. That's something that him

00:39:38.239 --> 00:39:40.579
and I discussed in depth, and, you know, that's

00:39:40.579 --> 00:39:43.500
something that interests us, that we'd like to

00:39:43.500 --> 00:39:47.039
do, so you and I can do the same thing. Yeah,

00:39:47.159 --> 00:39:50.300
because there's a couple of political stories

00:39:50.300 --> 00:39:53.380
going around right now I could really go off

00:39:53.380 --> 00:39:56.579
on, but I'm not going to. Well, not on this show.

00:39:56.699 --> 00:39:59.079
We can do another one any time. Not on this show.

00:39:59.119 --> 00:40:01.079
Not on this show. Yep. That's what I'm just saying.

00:40:01.159 --> 00:40:05.059
We promised this show is not political in any

00:40:05.059 --> 00:40:08.559
way. No, it's not. I firmly believe people need

00:40:08.559 --> 00:40:12.039
an outlet like that. They really do. Even though

00:40:12.039 --> 00:40:16.219
we might bring politicians into it, we sway away

00:40:16.219 --> 00:40:20.079
from the political part of it. Yes. That's why

00:40:20.079 --> 00:40:24.019
everything I always say is... My next story is

00:40:24.019 --> 00:40:26.960
who it's about, not what it's about. Yeah, it's

00:40:26.960 --> 00:40:29.059
just like the Tommy Lee thing. It didn't matter

00:40:29.059 --> 00:40:31.460
if that was Obama in office. I would have said

00:40:31.460 --> 00:40:34.139
the same thing. I'd say, this guy is questioning

00:40:34.139 --> 00:40:38.000
this guy. Right. And he's a severe alcoholic

00:40:38.000 --> 00:40:41.000
and a dumbass and always doing stupid shit and

00:40:41.000 --> 00:40:43.139
getting thrown in jail and all this stuff. I'm

00:40:43.139 --> 00:40:46.079
like, that guy is questioning anybody. It could

00:40:46.079 --> 00:40:48.000
have been Biden. It could have been anybody he

00:40:48.000 --> 00:40:50.179
was questioning. I would have said the same thing

00:40:50.179 --> 00:40:52.199
about it. Stay in your fucking lane, you idiot.

00:40:52.840 --> 00:40:56.780
So, anyhow, all right. Mark, you remember making

00:40:56.780 --> 00:41:00.079
the shirt stencils from the stencil place that

00:41:00.079 --> 00:41:02.739
was in Bannister Mall briefly? We made a couple

00:41:02.739 --> 00:41:05.679
of stencils for Fuckhammer shirts. I might have

00:41:05.679 --> 00:41:09.059
a shirt in my cedar chest of memories. You and

00:41:09.059 --> 00:41:12.980
Rob need to come over. Yeah, I remember it a

00:41:12.980 --> 00:41:15.980
little bit now. We only did like three or four

00:41:15.980 --> 00:41:20.619
of them, but I do remember that. Johnny and Opie

00:41:20.619 --> 00:41:26.639
is amazing. His memory is so clear and crisp.

00:41:27.099 --> 00:41:30.559
It's insane. Okay. Finish reading that email.

00:41:30.800 --> 00:41:35.380
Okay. Okay. I might have a shirt in my cedar

00:41:35.380 --> 00:41:37.739
chest of memories. You and Rob need to come over

00:41:37.739 --> 00:41:39.900
one day and check it out. I'm still looking for

00:41:39.900 --> 00:41:42.079
more professional -looking Fuckhammer flyer.

00:41:42.239 --> 00:41:45.119
I'm certain I saw it not too long ago. Johnny

00:41:45.119 --> 00:41:48.559
Nopi. And he did send me a message, and he said

00:41:48.559 --> 00:41:51.039
he's pretty sure he knows where those flyers

00:41:51.039 --> 00:41:53.780
are at. The ones that we use actual typing and

00:41:53.780 --> 00:41:57.340
all that stuff on, and a better picture of Legs

00:41:57.340 --> 00:42:03.409
Diamond, who we called Fuckhammer. Okay, just

00:42:03.409 --> 00:42:07.349
saying, I'm coming up. I want to meet Johnny.

00:42:07.590 --> 00:42:11.750
I do. I want to see you. I want to meet Johnny.

00:42:12.489 --> 00:42:15.889
Yeah. I think he thought he met you a couple

00:42:15.889 --> 00:42:18.150
of times, but he was like a little bit after

00:42:18.150 --> 00:42:21.449
that whole crowd, the whole Jess and Jim's crowd

00:42:21.449 --> 00:42:27.050
kind of broke up. He thought he might have met

00:42:27.050 --> 00:42:29.329
you. I guarantee he's probably heard stories

00:42:29.329 --> 00:42:32.960
about me. Oh, I'm sure. I probably told him stories

00:42:32.960 --> 00:42:37.019
about you. So, anyhow. Yeah, Johnny Nopi is amazing.

00:42:37.219 --> 00:42:41.119
We love the guy. And thank you. He thinks he

00:42:41.119 --> 00:42:45.800
has one of these shirts, Rob. I don't even have

00:42:45.800 --> 00:42:48.739
one. As a matter of fact, I didn't remember him

00:42:48.739 --> 00:42:51.519
until he wrote this and I read it. And I was

00:42:51.519 --> 00:42:54.500
like, oh my gosh. And I remember that stencil

00:42:54.500 --> 00:42:56.679
place in Bannister Mall. Remember? You go in

00:42:56.679 --> 00:42:59.059
there and they design a t -shirt for you. Yeah.

00:43:00.940 --> 00:43:04.900
anyhow all right cool um rob do you have a go

00:43:04.900 --> 00:43:08.800
-to biscuit recipe i bought three huge boxes

00:43:08.800 --> 00:43:11.940
on sale and need to use them millie and tennessee

00:43:11.940 --> 00:43:20.139
easy read the box there you go rob i told you

00:43:20.139 --> 00:43:23.880
you know what i know that's how i did it my everybody

00:43:23.880 --> 00:43:29.360
loves my cooking like my chili and stuff I just

00:43:29.360 --> 00:43:32.300
go off what the package says. The chili seasoning

00:43:32.300 --> 00:43:38.360
package. Good point. Down a hamburger, one bag

00:43:38.360 --> 00:43:41.480
of seasoning. So many nice tomatoes. So much

00:43:41.480 --> 00:43:48.679
tomato sauce. Everybody loves my chili. I do

00:43:48.679 --> 00:43:51.940
it the way it says. It's cool. I told everybody

00:43:51.940 --> 00:43:55.820
not too long ago. Don't ask me for advice. I'm

00:43:55.820 --> 00:43:58.920
horrible. Ask Rob. Now everybody's asking you.

00:44:00.199 --> 00:44:06.000
Well, I'm happy to entertain them. Yeah, they

00:44:06.000 --> 00:44:09.320
trust you. They know not to trust me. So, all

00:44:09.320 --> 00:44:17.679
right. There you go. Read the damn package like

00:44:17.679 --> 00:44:24.349
Rob does. Could use a little of that. Yeah, you

00:44:24.349 --> 00:44:26.530
like a little cayenne pepper or some white pepper

00:44:26.530 --> 00:44:29.730
or something else. Yeah, whatever you want. Yep.

00:44:31.349 --> 00:44:34.329
That's a good point. Mark, can you help? A little

00:44:34.329 --> 00:44:37.849
sugar to your biscuit, you know, whatever. Yeah,

00:44:37.849 --> 00:44:42.130
yeah. A little foot powder, maybe. A little foot

00:44:42.130 --> 00:44:45.389
powder, a little butter, a little onion powder,

00:44:45.590 --> 00:44:48.650
whatever you want. Dandruff relief. Yeah, yeah.

00:44:48.869 --> 00:44:51.960
Yeah, hell yeah. There you go. All right. Mark,

00:44:52.019 --> 00:44:54.079
can you help me locate my real family? My name

00:44:54.079 --> 00:44:56.940
is Roger Hamilton. I was born in Cheyenne, Montana.

00:44:58.000 --> 00:45:01.320
I'm for sure they listen. I will hope for a call

00:45:01.320 --> 00:45:04.500
soon. Thanks in advance. Yeah, they called me.

00:45:04.519 --> 00:45:06.179
They called me. They don't want anything to do

00:45:06.179 --> 00:45:08.699
with you. They think you're a dickhead. Sorry.

00:45:11.440 --> 00:45:17.960
Hey, guys. I can't just leave it like that. I

00:45:17.960 --> 00:45:22.010
can't leave it like that. If you need a family,

00:45:22.170 --> 00:45:24.769
move down to Lake of the Ozarks, buddy. I got

00:45:24.769 --> 00:45:27.190
you. There you go. You can be part of the Radfords.

00:45:27.989 --> 00:45:31.650
Is it okay if he takes your last name? Was that

00:45:31.650 --> 00:45:37.429
signed Joe Dirt? That's where they got the idea

00:45:37.429 --> 00:45:45.690
from. We are a Joe Dirt kind of show. Yeah, we

00:45:45.690 --> 00:45:52.079
are. Was Joe Dirt from Cheyenne, Wyoming, too,

00:45:52.260 --> 00:45:59.579
or not? Or Montana, not Wyoming. Montana. I forget

00:45:59.579 --> 00:46:01.860
where he was living, but they went to the Grand

00:46:01.860 --> 00:46:05.539
Canyon. Oh, that's right. Okay. And I forget

00:46:05.539 --> 00:46:11.739
where he was living. Maybe it was. I think you're

00:46:11.739 --> 00:46:14.019
right. I think this email was based off of that.

00:46:15.440 --> 00:46:19.199
Okay, no, no. The dream town, I believe, was

00:46:19.199 --> 00:46:25.679
at Montana. Oh, okay. Where they all got together

00:46:25.679 --> 00:46:28.480
at the end. Was that Montana or Wyoming? Either

00:46:28.480 --> 00:46:31.079
way. Okay, either way. I think that's where they

00:46:31.079 --> 00:46:37.059
got the idea for the email. So, yeah, Roger Hamilton.

00:46:37.340 --> 00:46:40.059
And I love the name that came out with it. Sorry.

00:46:40.519 --> 00:46:43.730
Yep. Roger Hamilton, your family said that they

00:46:43.730 --> 00:46:46.510
can't stand you and did not locate them. I'm

00:46:46.510 --> 00:46:48.690
sorry. That's just what they told me. But move

00:46:48.690 --> 00:46:50.869
down here to Lake of the Ozarks. I'll take you.

00:46:51.030 --> 00:46:53.949
You could become a Rob Rat. No, not a junior.

00:46:54.110 --> 00:46:58.750
You already got a junior. Yeah. The third? Another

00:46:58.750 --> 00:47:01.750
dependent. Okay, there we go. All right. All

00:47:01.750 --> 00:47:04.329
right. Hey, guys. I'm loving the new segments

00:47:04.329 --> 00:47:06.929
like music news and such. Keep up the great work.

00:47:07.150 --> 00:47:11.309
Ronnie and Tulsa. The Tulsa King. P .S. Thanks

00:47:11.309 --> 00:47:13.809
for treating me like royalty. You are royalty.

00:47:15.250 --> 00:47:19.510
That's why your name is King. Yes. Yeah, you

00:47:19.510 --> 00:47:23.230
are the most consent... Mitch didn't send me...

00:47:23.230 --> 00:47:26.130
I just realized something. I think we're Mitch.

00:47:26.349 --> 00:47:28.670
Mitch didn't send us an email this time, I don't

00:47:28.670 --> 00:47:35.889
think. Oh. Yeah, maybe he's busy. Maybe he's

00:47:35.889 --> 00:47:39.079
on the move again. He could be, could be. So,

00:47:39.079 --> 00:47:41.019
Mitch, hopefully we didn't piss him off. I don't

00:47:41.019 --> 00:47:43.019
think we did anything towards him, did we? We

00:47:43.019 --> 00:47:44.860
didn't make fun of him or something, I don't

00:47:44.860 --> 00:47:49.420
think. Dude, I'm always making fun of you. Mitch,

00:47:49.900 --> 00:47:54.139
write us back. Come on, Magic Creek, I ain't

00:47:54.139 --> 00:47:59.280
going. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Yeah, Ronnie, you're

00:47:59.280 --> 00:48:03.500
royalty. Yeah, you are, yeah. Oh, by the way,

00:48:03.519 --> 00:48:08.039
we will have your list. of the best slasher gore

00:48:08.039 --> 00:48:12.500
movies of all time the seven best tuesday yes

00:48:12.500 --> 00:48:18.300
so um did to do okay next one dude they're okay

00:48:18.300 --> 00:48:21.300
i was wanting to know if the podcast is available

00:48:21.300 --> 00:48:24.340
in spanish i'm not spanish but would probably

00:48:24.340 --> 00:48:26.559
like to show more if i couldn't understand it

00:48:26.559 --> 00:48:29.760
barney and smithville we haven't had any hate

00:48:29.760 --> 00:48:37.539
mail lately i had to say something You got anything

00:48:37.539 --> 00:48:41.559
you want to add to that, Ron? You might check

00:48:41.559 --> 00:48:49.460
to see if your phone has a... Mute button? Oh,

00:48:49.760 --> 00:48:52.260
yeah, yeah, you know what? Or you could translate,

00:48:52.480 --> 00:48:54.840
translation button. I think that's a great idea.

00:48:56.019 --> 00:48:58.760
Yeah, yeah, because I think some cell phone,

00:48:58.880 --> 00:49:02.500
you know, on some music, they might have a translation.

00:49:02.559 --> 00:49:06.579
I don't know. Yeah. You know what? This one won

00:49:06.579 --> 00:49:09.719
this week of the hate mail, so Clint, you have

00:49:09.719 --> 00:49:12.780
to give me an intelligent letter before I'll

00:49:12.780 --> 00:49:15.300
read it on the podcast. If you have any fifth

00:49:15.300 --> 00:49:17.199
graders around there that needs a summer job,

00:49:17.480 --> 00:49:19.559
maybe you should get with them and give them,

00:49:19.639 --> 00:49:23.000
I don't know, some old tattoo ink that you found

00:49:23.000 --> 00:49:26.320
in a dumpster or something like that. And then,

00:49:26.360 --> 00:49:28.440
you know, have them write your email for you.

00:49:28.480 --> 00:49:30.739
That way I'll be intelligent enough to read on

00:49:30.739 --> 00:49:37.809
here. You know what's funny, though? I read someone

00:49:37.809 --> 00:49:41.030
else's hate email to make fun of him. That was

00:49:41.030 --> 00:49:44.809
funny. I read someone else's hate email to make

00:49:44.809 --> 00:49:51.789
fun of him. Okay, and then finally, what happened

00:49:51.789 --> 00:49:53.829
to the music creeps? I can't find any new ones.

00:49:53.889 --> 00:49:57.969
Thank you, Rob in Omaha. Well, I was in the hospital.

00:49:59.699 --> 00:50:02.340
We did not get a chance to do any. And then the

00:50:02.340 --> 00:50:04.960
week before, I forgot what happened. So it's

00:50:04.960 --> 00:50:06.860
been a couple of weeks, we know. But we're going

00:50:06.860 --> 00:50:08.760
to get out there, I believe, Wednesday of this

00:50:08.760 --> 00:50:11.559
week. Oh, doctor appointments and all this stuff

00:50:11.559 --> 00:50:14.860
going on. So I think this Wednesday, we're going

00:50:14.860 --> 00:50:17.380
to catch up and start doing music creeps and

00:50:17.380 --> 00:50:22.119
sports bastards both. So thank you. And I just

00:50:22.119 --> 00:50:23.960
threw the email down, so I forgot the name. So

00:50:23.960 --> 00:50:27.019
whoever you are, thank you. So that's the emails.

00:50:27.099 --> 00:50:31.260
Rob, you got something? Yes, I do. All right.

00:50:31.360 --> 00:50:34.920
Like I said, my next story is kind of political,

00:50:34.920 --> 00:50:37.739
but not the way I'm taking it. Oh, wait a minute.

00:50:37.780 --> 00:50:45.420
Did you want to do the anger songs first? Actually,

00:50:45.480 --> 00:50:47.159
I kind of want to get this out of the way. Okay,

00:50:47.159 --> 00:50:48.760
get that out of the way, and then we'll take

00:50:48.760 --> 00:50:50.840
our break and come back with anger songs, okay?

00:50:52.559 --> 00:50:58.119
Yeah, because this is political, but it's also...

00:50:58.860 --> 00:51:02.760
You know how I like to update you on stories

00:51:02.760 --> 00:51:08.659
I have done. Yes. And this is Tiger King. Oh,

00:51:08.659 --> 00:51:12.820
yeah. A .K .A. Joe Exotic. Mm -hmm. Okay, you

00:51:12.820 --> 00:51:17.940
ready for this? I'm ready. And it gets lit. Okay.

00:51:18.219 --> 00:51:21.559
Okay. Kind of, kind of. It's funny, though, because

00:51:21.559 --> 00:51:27.610
it backfires on me. Tiger King started. Joe Exotic

00:51:27.610 --> 00:51:30.769
is not holding back his feelings after news broke

00:51:30.769 --> 00:51:34.230
that President Donald Trump granted a pardon

00:51:34.230 --> 00:51:39.349
to Todd and Julie Chrisley, but not him. See,

00:51:39.469 --> 00:51:41.989
I'm kind of going in. I'm trying to cover two

00:51:41.989 --> 00:51:44.269
stories here. I'm doing the Todd and Julie Chrisley,

00:51:44.530 --> 00:51:51.090
Joe Exotic, and, yeah. Just hours after the shocking

00:51:51.090 --> 00:51:54.309
announcement, Joe Exotic hopped on social media

00:51:54.309 --> 00:51:59.260
to vent on X. He posted, I guess being innocent

00:51:59.260 --> 00:52:03.500
is not enough in America. They all admitted to

00:52:03.500 --> 00:52:07.519
perjury on world television, but yet I'm left

00:52:07.519 --> 00:52:10.500
to die of cancer before I could get any help.

00:52:12.739 --> 00:52:16.780
Joe Exotic, whose real name is Joseph Maldonado

00:52:16.780 --> 00:52:20.860
Passage, is currently in the fifth year of a

00:52:20.860 --> 00:52:25.780
21 -year federal prison sentence. Asked for a

00:52:25.780 --> 00:52:31.119
plot to kill his ex -partner, Carol Baskin. Even

00:52:31.119 --> 00:52:34.960
while Joe was locked up, he remained vocal. He

00:52:34.960 --> 00:52:39.119
shared that he's battling prostate cancer and

00:52:39.119 --> 00:52:41.659
believes he's being deliberately ignored by the

00:52:41.659 --> 00:52:45.980
legal system. Mm -hmm. Well, okay, yeah, I brought

00:52:45.980 --> 00:52:50.940
all that up, but still. So, Joe Exotic got married

00:52:50.940 --> 00:52:55.889
to a dude while he was in prison. Yeah. His husband

00:52:55.889 --> 00:53:05.630
got out. His husband got transferred to whatever

00:53:05.630 --> 00:53:11.409
country he came from. He got deported. And Joe

00:53:11.409 --> 00:53:16.389
Exotic started saying, started begging Donald

00:53:16.389 --> 00:53:20.710
Trump, releases both, we'll go there and you'll

00:53:20.710 --> 00:53:28.119
never hear from us again. So now, as everybody

00:53:28.119 --> 00:53:32.460
has already heard, I guarantee it, he pardoned

00:53:32.460 --> 00:53:39.679
Todd and Julie Chrisley. So now, Tiger King is

00:53:39.679 --> 00:53:43.880
still sitting in prison fuming, dude. I got a

00:53:43.880 --> 00:53:47.739
question, yeah. Do you think that Trump should

00:53:47.739 --> 00:53:55.440
have pardoned Joe Exotic? Well, read another

00:53:55.440 --> 00:54:01.099
story, well, maybe in this one, but it says that

00:54:01.099 --> 00:54:07.800
he will truly look into the case. So he is going

00:54:07.800 --> 00:54:10.579
to look into it, okay. He is going to look into

00:54:10.579 --> 00:54:14.920
it, but he's not going to promise nothing. Well,

00:54:14.940 --> 00:54:19.820
okay. It sounds like... Because Joe's audit is

00:54:19.820 --> 00:54:24.039
using the Chris Lee's against him. Because...

00:54:24.380 --> 00:54:26.579
Their daughter, the whole time they did it in

00:54:26.579 --> 00:54:31.539
prison, their daughter even backed him during

00:54:31.539 --> 00:54:38.099
the election. Okay. She spoke for Savannah Christie.

00:54:38.960 --> 00:54:45.860
Yeah, yep. Yeah. Personally... That's the way

00:54:45.860 --> 00:54:48.780
a lot of people look at it. I just think it's

00:54:48.780 --> 00:54:51.519
funny Joe Exotic's still sitting there. Yeah.

00:54:52.519 --> 00:54:59.599
I think... Yeah. Okay, so he... He was a waste

00:54:59.599 --> 00:55:04.639
before he went in. Yeah, yeah. If I was Trump

00:55:04.639 --> 00:55:07.159
or anybody in office, I would stay as far away

00:55:07.159 --> 00:55:11.260
from that guy as I could. You know, just because

00:55:11.260 --> 00:55:15.139
he's out there banging on anything he can, screaming

00:55:15.139 --> 00:55:17.840
and yelling, doesn't mean it warrants anything

00:55:17.840 --> 00:55:21.420
at all. I'm not saying that Carole Baskin was

00:55:21.420 --> 00:55:24.050
innocent and everything. All I know is it does

00:55:24.050 --> 00:55:26.050
appear like he tried to have her murdered, and

00:55:26.050 --> 00:55:28.489
there are consequences for doing that in America,

00:55:28.530 --> 00:55:31.750
and he got them. So I don't know what else to

00:55:31.750 --> 00:55:34.469
say about that. And also another thing is...

00:55:34.469 --> 00:55:49.110
Yes. Yeah. Where we know Joe Exotic... Yeah,

00:55:49.170 --> 00:55:51.630
me neither. You know what? That's for Trump to

00:55:51.630 --> 00:55:53.869
figure out, and I guess he did, so whatever.

00:55:54.010 --> 00:55:57.469
That's fine. Yeah, and he said he will look into

00:55:57.469 --> 00:56:00.250
it now. We'll see whether he does or not. You

00:56:00.250 --> 00:56:03.449
know what? If I was him, I'd keep my mouth shut.

00:56:03.510 --> 00:56:05.230
If he's going to look into it, I would keep my

00:56:05.230 --> 00:56:07.730
mouth shut. I mean, if you're Trump right now,

00:56:07.750 --> 00:56:09.550
and he's out there, oh, fuck that guy and all

00:56:09.550 --> 00:56:11.429
that stuff, you'd be like, you know what? I'm

00:56:11.429 --> 00:56:13.050
not even going to look into it now. Forget him.

00:56:13.269 --> 00:56:16.929
He's not appreciated. Yeah, well, fuck you. Yeah,

00:56:16.929 --> 00:56:19.699
and especially, You know how many people are

00:56:19.699 --> 00:56:22.559
in prison with cancer? There's a lot of them.

00:56:22.639 --> 00:56:26.199
Do they get out? No. You know, what's his name?

00:56:26.320 --> 00:56:29.960
The big guy from New York. Gotti. He died in

00:56:29.960 --> 00:56:33.300
prison. He didn't get to come out. He died from

00:56:33.300 --> 00:56:37.400
cancer in prison. John Gotti. Yeah, John Gotti.

00:56:37.539 --> 00:56:40.260
Yeah. There's a lot of cases like that. They

00:56:40.260 --> 00:56:43.519
don't bring him out. Oh, hey, everybody. John

00:56:43.519 --> 00:56:45.659
Gotti's sick. He's got to come out. They don't

00:56:45.659 --> 00:56:49.320
do that. So Joe Exotic. They don't do that. It's

00:56:49.320 --> 00:56:53.539
the way it is. But if I argue, I keep my mouth

00:56:53.539 --> 00:56:56.980
shut until Trump comes out with a yes or a no

00:56:56.980 --> 00:57:01.320
definitively, I would play nice. But I think

00:57:01.320 --> 00:57:02.960
he probably already screwed it up, don't you?

00:57:04.079 --> 00:57:08.719
Yeah. All right. We will come right back with

00:57:08.719 --> 00:57:11.860
our anger songs per Rob, which I really love

00:57:11.860 --> 00:57:15.619
that. I think that's a great idea. Yeah. We'll

00:57:15.619 --> 00:57:21.599
go into that before we... Strange, but true.

00:57:22.639 --> 00:57:25.619
Morgan Freeman wears earrings worth $60 ,000.

00:57:25.719 --> 00:57:28.239
This is for the event he dies somewhere remote.

00:57:28.559 --> 00:57:30.679
The earrings will cover the cost of the funeral.

00:57:30.920 --> 00:57:35.139
This is an old sailor tradition. Your mama's

00:57:35.139 --> 00:57:38.760
so fat, she uses Google Earth to take a selfie.

00:57:42.260 --> 00:57:45.420
All aware of the Amber Alert, right? Well, get

00:57:45.420 --> 00:57:47.800
rid of your disinfectants and rubber bedspreads,

00:57:47.800 --> 00:57:50.440
kids. It's the all -new Amber Herd Alert System.

00:57:50.900 --> 00:57:53.619
This fantastic early warning device helps one

00:57:53.619 --> 00:57:55.920
stay dry and rid of all those annoying mattress

00:57:55.920 --> 00:57:59.360
invoices. Simply hook up to child under six or

00:57:59.360 --> 00:58:01.679
psychopath and wait for the running water sound.

00:58:02.139 --> 00:58:04.619
This clever machine has three distinct settings,

00:58:04.840 --> 00:58:07.219
babbling brook, ocean waves, and roaring river

00:58:07.219 --> 00:58:10.219
for those close calls. Order today and get a

00:58:10.219 --> 00:58:18.389
free Cinnabon Renusic cartridge. What's that

00:58:18.389 --> 00:58:22.389
over there? Oh, no. It's the island of horrible

00:58:22.389 --> 00:58:32.929
jokes. I put a wooden shoe in my toilet. I guess

00:58:32.929 --> 00:59:22.909
it was clogged. douchebags, and a microphone.

00:59:23.409 --> 00:59:27.730
The only podcast with gusto. That's right. Just

00:59:27.730 --> 00:59:32.869
like Schlitz beer. Google it. Oh, hey, look at

00:59:32.869 --> 00:59:36.010
the time. It's time for the crazy -ass word of

00:59:36.010 --> 00:59:39.730
the day. Cito, cito, hypo -paraphylogism. No

00:59:39.730 --> 00:59:42.369
bat white here. These idiots just show up and

00:59:42.369 --> 00:59:45.489
hope for the best. And now, Deep Thoughts with

00:59:45.489 --> 00:59:53.179
Mark. Should I? Throw away all my socks, then

00:59:53.179 --> 00:59:57.539
only buy 30 pair of one kind of sock. Will they

00:59:57.539 --> 01:00:02.300
eventually not match up? Hmm. I may never know.

01:00:07.199 --> 01:00:12.199
Next up, Things Overheard in Hell. Well, that

01:00:12.199 --> 01:00:16.000
little handsome CD is just a laptop. Uh -huh.

01:00:16.340 --> 01:00:18.420
Have you ever wondered what something is about?

01:00:18.829 --> 01:00:20.610
Have you ever looked at something and said, hey,

01:00:20.769 --> 01:00:23.789
I wonder what the origin of that is? Well, so

01:00:23.789 --> 01:00:27.769
have we. That's why we give you The Origin of.

01:00:29.610 --> 01:00:33.309
The Origin of the Goatee. The Goatee is a beard

01:00:33.309 --> 01:00:35.670
style that dates back to ancient Greece and Rome

01:00:35.670 --> 01:00:38.690
and is named for its resemblance to a goat's

01:00:38.690 --> 01:00:41.730
beard. The Goatee has been worn by many famous

01:00:41.730 --> 01:00:43.929
men throughout history, including Uncle Sam,

01:00:44.150 --> 01:00:47.780
Henry M. Hoyt, and Mr. Spock. The gob ham was

01:00:47.780 --> 01:00:50.139
often depicted with a goatee, and in medieval

01:00:50.139 --> 01:00:52.599
and Renaissance art, Satan was depicted with

01:00:52.599 --> 01:00:55.880
a goatee as well. The goatee became popular again

01:00:55.880 --> 01:00:59.519
in the 1940s as a defining trait of the beatniks

01:00:59.519 --> 01:01:02.199
and jazz musicians. It fell out of favor again

01:01:02.199 --> 01:01:05.000
in the 1960s, but became fashionable again in

01:01:05.000 --> 01:01:08.460
the 1990s and 2000s. The term goatee originated

01:01:08.460 --> 01:01:11.599
in the late 20th century. It was originally called

01:01:11.599 --> 01:01:26.989
a goatee. And I'm Rob at the beautiful Nagler

01:01:26.989 --> 01:01:30.369
Arm of Lake of the Ozarks. All right, Rob, would

01:01:30.369 --> 01:01:35.030
you care to explain what you came up with? Yeah,

01:01:35.030 --> 01:01:40.610
yeah. The other night, we got done podcasting,

01:01:40.610 --> 01:01:44.630
and we had talked, and we hung up. And so I messaged

01:01:44.630 --> 01:01:48.389
Mark, and I said, hey, I got this idea. Let's

01:01:48.389 --> 01:01:54.679
do our top seven angry songs. Whisper when we're

01:01:54.679 --> 01:01:59.380
angry, just something to just, you know. And

01:01:59.380 --> 01:02:02.539
you loved it, and I'm glad you did. Yeah, I think

01:02:02.539 --> 01:02:04.820
it's a great idea, and I think I come up with

01:02:04.820 --> 01:02:07.360
some good ones, and I know you have. So, yeah,

01:02:07.500 --> 01:02:12.900
I love that idea. It's similar to our fist fight

01:02:12.900 --> 01:02:15.559
one that we did, only this is just... Right,

01:02:15.559 --> 01:02:18.300
right, right. Yeah, this is just songs I listen

01:02:18.300 --> 01:02:21.489
to to get aggression out. Yeah, yeah, not like

01:02:21.489 --> 01:02:23.809
beating somebody's ass or something like that.

01:02:23.949 --> 01:02:26.510
Right, right, right, right. All right, Rob, you

01:02:26.510 --> 01:02:29.269
got your top seven, I believe, right? Don't we

01:02:29.269 --> 01:02:32.170
do it in Ronnie land? Yes, I do. Okay. Yes, I

01:02:32.170 --> 01:02:35.469
do. Yeah, we're doing it in Tulsa King style.

01:02:36.130 --> 01:02:41.130
Because he is the king. Yes, one and only. And

01:02:41.130 --> 01:02:43.130
Mitch, you better get to writing me. What the

01:02:43.130 --> 01:02:48.070
fuck? Come on. All right, Rob, we turn it to

01:02:48.070 --> 01:02:53.869
you. At number seven, I'm coming with I Hate

01:02:53.869 --> 01:02:59.409
Everything About You by Three Days Grace. Is

01:02:59.409 --> 01:03:04.369
that an Ugly Kid Joe remake? I think it is, yeah.

01:03:05.070 --> 01:03:10.110
Okay. I like the Three Days Grace version. I

01:03:10.110 --> 01:03:15.929
don't think I've heard it. Okay. Okay, number

01:03:15.929 --> 01:03:21.210
six. In the End by Linkin Park. That's a good

01:03:21.210 --> 01:03:25.690
one. It's just a song that when I'm angry, I

01:03:25.690 --> 01:03:29.090
can just get into. That's what I was looking

01:03:29.090 --> 01:03:32.190
for. It's a song that you can get into and just

01:03:32.190 --> 01:03:36.610
put everything out and just get into your anger

01:03:36.610 --> 01:03:38.389
and go through the song. You know what I mean?

01:03:38.550 --> 01:03:44.949
That is a good song. Number five. This is going

01:03:44.949 --> 01:03:50.949
to be a blast with the past. Okay. TNT by ACDC.

01:03:51.929 --> 01:04:00.210
Oh, yeah. Hoi. Hoi. Hoi. TNT. Hoi. Dynamite.

01:04:00.630 --> 01:04:04.349
Hoi. It's a good, angry song. It really is. It's

01:04:04.349 --> 01:04:08.030
a song that we grew up with, yeah. Let's see.

01:04:08.090 --> 01:04:11.630
Lock up your doors and run for your life. Yeah,

01:04:11.690 --> 01:04:15.150
yeah. Run for the back door. Lock up. Oh, go

01:04:15.150 --> 01:04:19.269
ahead. I'm sorry. Go ahead. I'm sorry. Okay,

01:04:19.309 --> 01:04:23.170
number four, I'm coming out with Last Resort

01:04:23.170 --> 01:04:28.010
by Papa Roach. Oh, wow. Okay. This is your last

01:04:28.010 --> 01:04:33.429
resort. Yeah, just head back, just, yeah. Cool.

01:04:35.750 --> 01:04:38.690
Number three, another oldie that has came up

01:04:38.690 --> 01:04:43.369
on my list before. Okay. Hair of the Dog by Nazareth.

01:04:43.849 --> 01:04:47.739
Uh -huh, yeah. If anyone doesn't know what that

01:04:47.739 --> 01:04:49.960
is, that's now you're messing with a son of a

01:04:49.960 --> 01:04:54.519
bitch. Yep. And not GNR, not Guns N' Roses remake.

01:04:54.639 --> 01:05:00.239
The original. No. This is Nazareth, yes. And

01:05:00.239 --> 01:05:04.940
actually, I hate everything about you. I think

01:05:04.940 --> 01:05:09.599
I might have to switch back and go with the other

01:05:09.599 --> 01:05:13.219
version. Oh, Ugly Kid Joe's one? Okay. Yeah.

01:05:13.420 --> 01:05:15.579
Yeah, I think I'm going to go with Ugly Kid Joe's

01:05:15.579 --> 01:05:18.780
boost on that one. The more I take it back. Well,

01:05:18.920 --> 01:05:21.840
I listened to that one a while ago. No, I think

01:05:21.840 --> 01:05:24.719
I'm going to stick with Ugly Kid Joe. Okay. All

01:05:24.719 --> 01:05:32.420
right. Okay, number two. Once again, from my

01:05:32.420 --> 01:05:36.980
fight list, Break Stuff from Wimp Bizkit. Oh,

01:05:36.980 --> 01:05:43.130
yeah. I forgot all about that song. agree. What

01:05:43.130 --> 01:05:49.690
are you going to do? Break stuff. Yep. And coming

01:05:49.690 --> 01:05:57.530
in at a big number one falls to the wall by a

01:05:57.530 --> 01:06:03.750
sec. Oh! Dude, I was jamming for about 20 minutes

01:06:03.750 --> 01:06:09.179
back at this tough replay. Yeah, my favorite

01:06:09.179 --> 01:06:11.539
part is when you hear the crunching sound. That

01:06:11.539 --> 01:06:14.900
is an angry little song. From an angry little

01:06:14.900 --> 01:06:22.719
guy, Udo, Dirk Schneider. Yeah, and you see him

01:06:22.719 --> 01:06:28.079
nowadays. Oh, my gosh. He didn't age well. That

01:06:28.079 --> 01:06:31.059
little guy with the big tummy. Oh, my gosh. Yeah.

01:06:31.159 --> 01:06:35.480
Yeah, yeah. Okay. All right. Well, I'm going

01:06:35.480 --> 01:06:38.280
to come up with my seven here. Okay, number seven

01:06:38.280 --> 01:06:42.159
I have, and this is because the riff. To me,

01:06:42.179 --> 01:06:46.320
the riff is forceful and powerful and semi -angry.

01:06:46.400 --> 01:06:49.800
And that is Rock and Roll Rebel from Ozzy Osbourne

01:06:49.800 --> 01:06:54.780
and Jakey Lee just smoking on the guitar. All

01:06:54.780 --> 01:06:57.719
right. He will always be underrated, in my opinion.

01:06:58.599 --> 01:07:01.840
Jakey Lee, and he had a lot of accolades. But

01:07:01.840 --> 01:07:05.630
I'll tell you, the guy... is just an incredible

01:07:05.630 --> 01:07:10.809
guitar player. All right. My number six one is

01:07:10.809 --> 01:07:13.010
one of my favorite guitarists, but probably not

01:07:13.010 --> 01:07:15.409
one of the best. One of the best sounding, of

01:07:15.409 --> 01:07:18.710
course, would be Mick Mars, and that would be

01:07:18.710 --> 01:07:21.530
Dancing on Glass from Motley Crue. That'd be

01:07:21.530 --> 01:07:24.289
off the Girls album, Girls, Girls, Girls. Second

01:07:24.289 --> 01:07:28.929
side. Second side. No, no, no. First side, third

01:07:28.929 --> 01:07:34.280
song. Love it. To me, that riff. Kind of fast

01:07:34.280 --> 01:07:37.460
-paced and driven. Kind of gives me that edge

01:07:37.460 --> 01:07:40.420
to be angry, like got you hopping, going, oh,

01:07:40.480 --> 01:07:46.320
yeah, I'm really, you know. So, number five.

01:07:47.059 --> 01:07:50.820
This is an old Steady Eddie. It's been used in

01:07:50.820 --> 01:07:55.000
various situations, including wrestling. Uncle

01:07:55.000 --> 01:08:02.059
Teddy, Stranglehold. Yes. That is a driving hypnotic

01:08:02.059 --> 01:08:06.469
song. That is just pure anger. It is just like

01:08:06.469 --> 01:08:10.570
smash you in the face for no reason anger. It's

01:08:10.570 --> 01:08:14.110
bloody lip just because you looked at me angry.

01:08:14.389 --> 01:08:18.989
It gives anger. It exuberates anger. Great song.

01:08:19.229 --> 01:08:24.149
It's hypnotic. All right. Number four. And it

01:08:24.149 --> 01:08:27.649
has the word angry in its title. Alice in Chains,

01:08:27.649 --> 01:08:34.779
Angry Chair. Okay. The bass at the first of that.

01:08:35.760 --> 01:08:39.119
He hits those notes that are deep and grungy.

01:08:42.279 --> 01:08:44.800
Combined with a little Jerry Cantrell magic.

01:08:45.539 --> 01:08:49.880
Such an angry, forceful song. I believe it is

01:08:49.880 --> 01:08:55.039
talking about the electric chair and putting

01:08:55.039 --> 01:08:58.979
people to death. The song is very angry. And

01:08:58.979 --> 01:09:02.949
the song is called Angry Chair. And you've probably

01:09:02.949 --> 01:09:06.529
heard it on rock radio many years ago. They don't

01:09:06.529 --> 01:09:09.329
play it so much anymore. Whenever they fantasize

01:09:09.329 --> 01:09:11.609
about Alice in Chains, it's their Steady Eddie,

01:09:11.770 --> 01:09:15.449
Man in the Box, or Wood, or something like that.

01:09:15.850 --> 01:09:20.350
But Angry Chair was a great song. Next one is

01:09:20.350 --> 01:09:23.270
another grunge band, but people don't know about

01:09:23.270 --> 01:09:26.369
this song. It's off Vitology, and it's Pearl

01:09:26.369 --> 01:09:30.960
Jam, and the name of it is Blood. And the song

01:09:30.960 --> 01:09:35.239
is angry because a lady took this guy's child

01:09:35.239 --> 01:09:40.319
and aborted it. And he screams, Eddie Vedder

01:09:40.319 --> 01:09:43.460
screams, it's my blood, it's my blood, it's my

01:09:43.460 --> 01:09:48.500
blood. No one thinks a Pearl Jam could come out

01:09:48.500 --> 01:09:52.420
with a song like that. I wonder if it like maybe...

01:09:52.420 --> 01:09:58.020
Yeah, I would. Yeah. I wonder if something like

01:09:58.020 --> 01:10:00.420
that didn't happen to one of them because the

01:10:00.420 --> 01:10:04.539
song is so angry and so forceful, you know, and

01:10:04.539 --> 01:10:07.840
the outrage in it. Every time I hear that song,

01:10:08.020 --> 01:10:12.140
I get angry. It's like, man. I'm going to have

01:10:12.140 --> 01:10:14.039
to look into that song. I don't think I've heard

01:10:14.039 --> 01:10:17.159
that song. It's off of Vitology, or Vitology,

01:10:17.399 --> 01:10:20.079
I guess. Vitology, which would be their third

01:10:20.079 --> 01:10:22.939
album, maybe, or their second. I think. Anyhow,

01:10:23.000 --> 01:10:25.800
it's a great song. Yeah, third, I think. Yeah,

01:10:25.800 --> 01:10:30.260
third. Okay. Megadeth, Countdown to Extinction.

01:10:31.500 --> 01:10:36.159
That song is snotty angry. Dave Mustaine is so

01:10:36.159 --> 01:10:38.220
angry at the governments of the world and the

01:10:38.220 --> 01:10:41.439
world and everybody and everything. At the time,

01:10:41.439 --> 01:10:44.399
he isn't so much anymore. But at the time, he

01:10:44.399 --> 01:10:47.380
was all kinds of shady with all kinds of stuff.

01:10:48.090 --> 01:10:50.989
That song has a lot of anger, a lot of force

01:10:50.989 --> 01:10:54.529
behind it. Dave Mustaine, the way he sings it.

01:10:55.470 --> 01:10:59.090
Everything. Just incredible, incredible music.

01:10:59.930 --> 01:11:02.529
And then finally, my all -time, and I always

01:11:02.529 --> 01:11:05.250
have to go with this, and this is Walk from Pantera.

01:11:06.510 --> 01:11:11.329
That song. All right. Yeah. I hear Walk, and

01:11:11.329 --> 01:11:12.909
I just want to hit people in the face for no

01:11:12.909 --> 01:11:18.020
reason. It's a great song. And I know you're

01:11:18.020 --> 01:11:19.859
like, you want to hit someone in the face for

01:11:19.859 --> 01:11:22.119
no reason? Let's say a song and tell me you don't.

01:11:22.340 --> 01:11:26.319
It's great. That is my seven, and what a great

01:11:26.319 --> 01:11:31.560
list, Rob. Thank you. It just came to me. All

01:11:31.560 --> 01:11:33.619
of a sudden, man, that would be a good list,

01:11:33.760 --> 01:11:37.180
and I hit you up on it. You agree, so here you

01:11:37.180 --> 01:11:41.579
go. That was perfect because it really made me

01:11:41.579 --> 01:11:43.960
think, and it really made me work hard to dwindle

01:11:43.960 --> 01:11:47.739
that down to seven. Yeah. Which is always fun.

01:11:47.760 --> 01:11:52.000
There's so many others that for years, anytime

01:11:52.000 --> 01:11:55.319
we ever got angry, there were songs we had for

01:11:55.319 --> 01:11:59.039
go -tos. Yeah. I put other new ones that I've

01:11:59.039 --> 01:12:02.479
been listening to on this list. I've been listening

01:12:02.479 --> 01:12:06.659
to a lot more like Stained and Limp Bizkit, you

01:12:06.659 --> 01:12:11.569
know, and Linkin Park, you know? Oh, yeah. I've

01:12:11.569 --> 01:12:14.270
been listening to a lot more grunge lately, but

01:12:14.270 --> 01:12:18.090
only the good stuff, not the garbage. I've been

01:12:18.090 --> 01:12:19.869
listening to some of that and revisiting some

01:12:19.869 --> 01:12:22.470
of it. And some of it I just completely missed

01:12:22.470 --> 01:12:27.130
at the time, the genius in it. Especially, Soundgarden

01:12:27.130 --> 01:12:29.310
might be my favorite band ever now. I don't know.

01:12:29.430 --> 01:12:31.810
I mean, they've been one of my favorites forever.

01:12:32.109 --> 01:12:35.210
But some of the stuff that I missed on side two

01:12:35.210 --> 01:12:39.979
of Bad Motor Finger. Super Unknown was a huge

01:12:39.979 --> 01:12:43.359
album, and everybody got it. Everybody was like,

01:12:43.439 --> 01:12:46.079
oh yeah, that's a fantastic album. Bad Motor

01:12:46.079 --> 01:12:49.840
Finger was almost as good. And the thing is,

01:12:49.859 --> 01:12:54.380
they just had really one song on it. Outshine

01:12:54.380 --> 01:12:57.100
was the only really hit on it. But there was

01:12:57.100 --> 01:13:01.119
so much stuff. I was talking about the leads,

01:13:01.319 --> 01:13:06.350
the crazy... Not leads, but the crazy solos.

01:13:06.750 --> 01:13:10.189
Enslaves and Bulldozers is one of them. I listened

01:13:10.189 --> 01:13:12.229
to that song a couple of times on the way to

01:13:12.229 --> 01:13:15.029
work and way back a couple of times. And that

01:13:15.029 --> 01:13:19.930
thing is insane. The genius behind it. Like I

01:13:19.930 --> 01:13:22.210
said, Kim Tho will never get the credit he deserves.

01:13:22.590 --> 01:13:27.149
But he is just doing a bunch of sounds that just

01:13:27.149 --> 01:13:32.229
fit the song. You get what he's saying. It's

01:13:32.229 --> 01:13:35.670
really good. So, anyhow, Rob, you got something

01:13:35.670 --> 01:13:39.170
you want to go into? Yeah, I do. I'm going to

01:13:39.170 --> 01:13:45.329
go into another strange story here. Okay. Two

01:13:45.329 --> 01:13:48.289
hikers were reportedly high off psychedelic mushrooms

01:13:48.289 --> 01:13:52.069
traversing New York State. Help me out here.

01:13:53.869 --> 01:14:01.420
The mountain range. A dronid? A dronid? Mountains?

01:14:01.420 --> 01:14:05.500
I'm sorry, I'm not from New York. Say Babel Snatch,

01:14:05.560 --> 01:14:09.399
the Babel Snatch Mountains. Well, those from

01:14:09.399 --> 01:14:11.880
New York will know what I'm talking about. Yeah,

01:14:11.880 --> 01:14:15.159
the Babel Snatch Mountains. Famous. Yeah. Called

01:14:15.159 --> 01:14:18.859
911 to mistakenly report a third member of their

01:14:18.859 --> 01:14:24.760
party was dead. Oh. The ranger with the New York

01:14:24.760 --> 01:14:27.979
State Department of Forestry responded to a call

01:14:27.979 --> 01:14:31.399
on Saturday. that a hiker had reportedly died

01:14:31.399 --> 01:14:37.079
on Cascade Mountain, a popular summit in Babelsnatch

01:14:37.079 --> 01:14:41.659
High Beach. Yeah. That never gets old. Actually,

01:14:41.659 --> 01:14:45.220
that went pretty good, didn't it? It did. That

01:14:45.220 --> 01:14:47.520
never gets old. Babelsnatch is just like the

01:14:47.520 --> 01:14:53.159
Iggy that people just know. The Department of

01:14:53.159 --> 01:14:57.819
Environmental Conservation said in a news release.

01:14:58.569 --> 01:15:02.670
The two hikers who called 911 also told a steward

01:15:02.670 --> 01:15:06.670
on Mount Summit that they were lost. The steward

01:15:06.670 --> 01:15:09.510
determined the hikers were in an altered mental

01:15:09.510 --> 01:15:14.470
state, according to the agency. The supposedly

01:15:14.470 --> 01:15:22.149
dead person called and was not injured. Officials

01:15:22.149 --> 01:15:24.829
said that the ranger escorted the two hikers

01:15:24.829 --> 01:15:28.520
down to an ambulance. which took them to a hospital

01:15:28.520 --> 01:15:31.659
and brought the third to the group's campsite

01:15:31.659 --> 01:15:35.779
where they were all later met up. Did they lie?

01:15:36.380 --> 01:15:39.819
Huh? Did they lie about it to get them to come

01:15:39.819 --> 01:15:44.859
get them? No, they were on mushrooms. And that

01:15:44.859 --> 01:15:48.140
was it? They thought the guy was dead on mushrooms?

01:15:48.180 --> 01:15:59.300
Okay. Then the guy called 911. So 911 knew something

01:15:59.300 --> 01:16:05.680
was up. Officials said that the ranger escorted

01:16:05.680 --> 01:16:09.100
two hikers down to an ambulance, which took them

01:16:09.100 --> 01:16:11.640
to a hospital and brought the third to the group's

01:16:11.640 --> 01:16:15.319
campsite, where they all later met up. The odd

01:16:15.319 --> 01:16:18.079
situation highlights the importance of being

01:16:18.079 --> 01:16:21.680
aware of one's surroundings without nature, and

01:16:21.680 --> 01:16:25.289
not the dangers of using hallucinogens. in a

01:16:25.289 --> 01:16:30.109
dangerous environment. Uh -huh. The active ingredient

01:16:30.109 --> 01:16:36.010
Slim's is known as... Babble Snatch? I've never

01:16:36.010 --> 01:16:41.310
been with... I've never been with... Oh, yeah,

01:16:41.350 --> 01:16:43.590
Babble Snatch. Come on. I shouldn't be able to

01:16:43.590 --> 01:16:49.050
say that word by now. And while studies have

01:16:49.050 --> 01:16:52.989
shown it to have positive effects on things like

01:16:52.989 --> 01:16:57.920
PTSD, addiction, and depression. In large doses,

01:16:58.079 --> 01:17:01.140
it can lead to the user having a warped sense

01:17:01.140 --> 01:17:03.800
of reality. Well, yeah, thanks. How do you think

01:17:03.800 --> 01:17:07.880
you did that? Drunkies have been using this shit

01:17:07.880 --> 01:17:12.380
for years. According to the National Institute

01:17:12.380 --> 01:17:15.199
of Drug Abuse, the mushrooms can cause people

01:17:15.199 --> 01:17:18.680
to experience disordered sights and sounds and

01:17:18.680 --> 01:17:23.060
lose their sense of time and space. The NIDA

01:17:23.060 --> 01:17:26.100
added that people can experience a range of extreme

01:17:26.100 --> 01:17:30.260
emotions, ranging from euphoria and bliss to

01:17:30.260 --> 01:17:36.600
terror and paranoia. Some people use them recreationally

01:17:36.600 --> 01:17:40.020
or to try to improve their mental health, although

01:17:40.020 --> 01:17:42.880
researchers still have much to learn about it.

01:17:44.279 --> 01:17:48.640
Siemens, is that how you say it? Yeah, yeah,

01:17:48.659 --> 01:17:53.460
close enough. P -S -I -L -O -C -Y -D -I -N. That

01:17:53.460 --> 01:17:57.720
sounds great. Potential uses as a medicine, and

01:17:57.720 --> 01:18:02.479
NIDA writes on its website, unlike many racial

01:18:02.479 --> 01:18:06.560
drugs such as heroin and cocaine, the use of

01:18:06.560 --> 01:18:12.340
Balastash has been found to not lead to addiction

01:18:12.340 --> 01:18:16.319
or overdose. However, the main danger of taking

01:18:16.319 --> 01:18:20.449
the drug is the altered... sense of reality such

01:18:20.449 --> 01:18:23.729
as the situation of hikers based on saturday

01:18:23.729 --> 01:18:34.010
wow so it what they're saying is that they're

01:18:34.010 --> 01:18:36.750
they don't know of any medical problems with

01:18:36.750 --> 01:18:39.989
it it's just the state of mind you're in while

01:18:39.989 --> 01:18:44.630
you're on it's like the old lsd or acid or angel

01:18:44.630 --> 01:18:47.590
dust Well, yeah, a lot of people that prefer

01:18:47.590 --> 01:18:50.649
natural, they don't do LSD, they do mushrooms

01:18:50.649 --> 01:18:54.930
instead. Yeah, it's a hallucinogen. And also...

01:18:54.930 --> 01:18:59.470
If used sparingly, it could be used in a medical

01:18:59.470 --> 01:19:03.250
situation. And it has been. It has been and it

01:19:03.250 --> 01:19:06.989
will be. You've talked about it many a time.

01:19:07.270 --> 01:19:10.750
I'm telling you, ayahuasca to me sounds extremely

01:19:10.750 --> 01:19:16.199
fascinating. So that's a form of a mushroom,

01:19:16.380 --> 01:19:19.399
and the trip is supposed to be about the same

01:19:19.399 --> 01:19:22.960
for everybody, and you talk to dead relatives,

01:19:23.420 --> 01:19:27.159
you see elves, all this stuff. And everyone has

01:19:27.159 --> 01:19:31.020
the same trip. So is there something to it? You

01:19:31.020 --> 01:19:32.760
know what I'm saying? Is it another dimension

01:19:32.760 --> 01:19:36.390
you're going to? I mean, I... Stuff like this

01:19:36.390 --> 01:19:38.470
fascinates me. I wouldn't take regular mushrooms,

01:19:38.689 --> 01:19:42.329
but ayahuasca I would definitely think about.

01:19:42.590 --> 01:19:45.609
Have you ever gave it any thought? Well, no,

01:19:46.329 --> 01:19:49.250
I haven't done any research into it. Just what

01:19:49.250 --> 01:19:52.470
you just said, man, that right there, Greg. I'm

01:19:52.470 --> 01:19:55.109
telling you what, look at it. You know how much

01:19:55.109 --> 01:19:57.250
I'd like to see my dad and my mom one more time?

01:19:57.550 --> 01:20:00.829
Yeah, I mean, to me, I mean, is it going to be

01:20:00.829 --> 01:20:03.430
bittersweet afterwards? Most people say that.

01:20:03.720 --> 01:20:06.859
they were like really happy it wasn't like oh

01:20:06.859 --> 01:20:11.380
they're gone again i i could see where it would

01:20:11.380 --> 01:20:13.899
be like everybody would like to have that one

01:20:13.899 --> 01:20:16.680
last time with their loved one in the past yeah

01:20:16.680 --> 01:20:21.119
yeah you would get that done in your head yeah

01:20:21.119 --> 01:20:24.539
i could see where that would be relaxing it would

01:20:24.539 --> 01:20:27.619
calm and it would help you i think it'd be whether

01:20:27.619 --> 01:20:30.340
it's real or not you can debate it all day long

01:20:30.340 --> 01:20:32.159
but i think it's real enough to make you feel

01:20:32.159 --> 01:20:37.279
good It sounds like. You know? Yeah. You need

01:20:37.279 --> 01:20:39.479
some closure, that might be exactly what you

01:20:39.479 --> 01:20:46.779
need, so. All right. A man takes a piss, and

01:20:46.779 --> 01:20:49.300
he has his penis bitten off by an 11 -foot snake

01:20:49.300 --> 01:20:55.800
in the toilet. Oh, shit. Yeah. Afton Chosong,

01:20:56.039 --> 01:21:00.000
38, was attacked by a huge snake in the bathroom

01:21:00.000 --> 01:21:07.199
of his home in Cha -Chong. Chechonsau province

01:21:07.199 --> 01:21:12.159
east of Bangkok, leaving him with severe blood

01:21:12.159 --> 01:21:14.760
loss. He reached down after feeling a sudden

01:21:14.760 --> 01:21:17.899
sharp pain, only to find the python's jaws clamped

01:21:17.899 --> 01:21:22.159
onto the tip of his genitals. They aren't sure

01:21:22.159 --> 01:21:25.819
where the snake originated from, but it was apparently

01:21:25.819 --> 01:21:29.460
hungry for penis, or it was defending itself

01:21:29.460 --> 01:21:33.460
from being pissed on. I thought, you know, was

01:21:33.460 --> 01:21:35.520
it really like hungry for penis or was like,

01:21:35.640 --> 01:21:39.239
hey, what the fuck's this guy doing? Anyhow.

01:21:40.199 --> 01:21:48.939
Yeah, yeah, yeah. If someone's pissing on you,

01:21:48.960 --> 01:21:50.520
what do you do? You kick them in the dick, right?

01:21:50.680 --> 01:21:53.920
Well, you know, the snake's like, hey. Yeah.

01:21:55.300 --> 01:21:57.659
The time man was left fighting for his life in

01:21:57.659 --> 01:22:01.420
a Bangkok hospital. Oh, I find that. You talk

01:22:01.420 --> 01:22:05.060
about irony. He had his penis bit off in a Bangkok

01:22:05.060 --> 01:22:13.079
hospital. I was going to run on that. There you

01:22:13.079 --> 01:22:15.859
go. Your penis bitten off in a Bangkok hospital.

01:22:18.039 --> 01:22:20.300
Rob, you know what? I know I can get in a hurry

01:22:20.300 --> 01:22:23.439
and have to go really bad, but I always look

01:22:23.439 --> 01:22:26.100
in the stool. It might need flush in high water.

01:22:26.760 --> 01:22:31.130
No splash back. Yeah. don't you always look in

01:22:31.130 --> 01:22:33.609
there just in case? You know, there might be

01:22:33.609 --> 01:22:35.949
a big lump of shit there, and then you get splashed

01:22:35.949 --> 01:22:38.329
back from it. Exactly, yeah, yeah, man. Yeah,

01:22:38.390 --> 01:22:40.649
I always look in the toilet first. I don't want

01:22:40.649 --> 01:22:42.890
to see nobody else's turds floating before I

01:22:42.890 --> 01:22:45.050
go. I'll move to a different stall. Yeah, what

01:22:45.050 --> 01:22:47.189
does this guy do? He just comes over there with

01:22:47.189 --> 01:22:50.829
his dick already out, not even looking? I mean,

01:22:51.710 --> 01:22:53.869
wouldn't you like just kind of see in your peripheral,

01:22:53.930 --> 01:22:56.869
like, hey, wait a minute, that's not water. Yeah,

01:22:56.869 --> 01:23:02.670
no shit. Well, I don't know if he lived or not.

01:23:02.750 --> 01:23:07.149
This article was, I think, three weeks old. So

01:23:07.149 --> 01:23:09.170
I think it'd be determined whether he lived or

01:23:09.170 --> 01:23:10.890
not. I couldn't find anything to tell me whether

01:23:10.890 --> 01:23:13.529
he actually did live or not. All I know is he

01:23:13.529 --> 01:23:16.229
was fighting for his life at one time with part

01:23:16.229 --> 01:23:22.229
of his dick bitten off. Anyhow, in a Bangkok

01:23:22.229 --> 01:23:29.130
hospital. Yeah. Okay, we're children here. Okay?

01:23:29.189 --> 01:23:33.449
We know this. We told you we could go one way

01:23:33.449 --> 01:23:35.489
or the other. I guess we're going the other right

01:23:35.489 --> 01:23:38.010
now, aren't we? We said it just a while ago.

01:23:38.369 --> 01:23:40.829
Forget the concert calendar. We're on dick jokes

01:23:40.829 --> 01:23:45.729
now. All right, Rob, you got something? Or you

01:23:45.729 --> 01:23:48.109
want to shut it down? What do you need to do?

01:23:50.210 --> 01:23:56.210
Yeah, my phone. Yeah, here we go. Okay. I had

01:23:56.210 --> 01:24:10.500
one here. Okay. Only because it's weird. Okay.

01:24:11.979 --> 01:24:36.380
Okay. Okay. I hope I pronounced that right, was

01:24:36.380 --> 01:24:40.100
emptied into a garbage truck in the early morning

01:24:40.100 --> 01:24:44.359
hours of Thursday, May 29th. Authorities believe

01:24:44.359 --> 01:24:47.119
the man had been sleeping inside the dumpster.

01:24:49.140 --> 01:24:53.939
Okay. Yeah, the truck drove about five miles

01:24:53.939 --> 01:24:57.520
before stopping at William T. Rogers Middle School

01:24:57.520 --> 01:25:01.260
in Kings Park, where someone saw a person inside

01:25:01.260 --> 01:25:04.449
the back of the truck around 6 .30 a .m. That

01:25:04.449 --> 01:25:10.569
guy is lucky. That person was removed from the

01:25:10.569 --> 01:25:13.729
truck and transported to Huntington Hospital

01:25:13.729 --> 01:25:18.069
for treatment of a leg injury. The other man

01:25:18.069 --> 01:25:21.630
was pronounced dead at the scene. They got him.

01:25:22.470 --> 01:25:27.649
A public information officer, yeah. Officials

01:25:27.649 --> 01:25:30.510
don't suspect criminal activity in this case.

01:25:30.789 --> 01:25:37.659
Well, no, there was... Yeah. Officials are conducting

01:25:37.659 --> 01:25:40.939
an autopsy on the dead man to determine the cause

01:25:40.939 --> 01:25:44.300
of his death. But the Associated Press reported

01:25:44.300 --> 01:25:47.020
that officials do not believe the man was dead

01:25:47.020 --> 01:25:49.979
before getting dumped into the truck. Well, yes,

01:25:50.000 --> 01:25:58.859
thank you. Funny, but not. I love how they word

01:25:58.859 --> 01:26:06.640
some of these stories, dude. I do, too. said

01:26:06.640 --> 01:26:11.039
in an online statement that the incident is completely

01:26:11.039 --> 01:26:14.119
unrelated to our building, our students, and

01:26:14.119 --> 01:26:17.680
our staff. Yeah, everybody knows that. They're

01:26:17.680 --> 01:26:19.680
in a fucking garbage truck. They go along to

01:26:19.680 --> 01:26:24.300
your property. Yeah. The two men have yet to

01:26:24.300 --> 01:26:27.159
be identified, and the investigation is ongoing.

01:26:29.399 --> 01:26:32.119
Wrong place, wrong time, right? I still haven't

01:26:32.119 --> 01:26:38.460
identified the guy that was alive. Wow. Yeah,

01:26:38.619 --> 01:26:42.000
they were almost. Yep, yep, they picked the wrong

01:26:42.000 --> 01:26:47.100
dumpster that day. Rob, do you know Peppa Pig?

01:26:49.279 --> 01:26:52.819
Yeah, I know of it. I don't watch it, I know

01:26:52.819 --> 01:26:55.819
of it. I never had to watch it with my grandson,

01:26:55.920 --> 01:26:58.340
thank God. We have to watch it with the youngest

01:26:58.340 --> 01:27:01.479
granddaughter, and it's not a complaint. We enjoy

01:27:01.479 --> 01:27:06.479
the hell out of her. She's so much fun. My grandson's

01:27:06.479 --> 01:27:09.680
rather into Michael Jackson. Seriously. He likes

01:27:09.680 --> 01:27:13.199
Michael Jackson videos. Wow. Okay. Seriously.

01:27:13.279 --> 01:27:16.479
And he's four. He's four. Well, it's just like

01:27:16.479 --> 01:27:21.020
the grandkids love my, I have the old style arcade

01:27:21.020 --> 01:27:23.739
game. It's actually an old arcade game. It's

01:27:23.739 --> 01:27:28.850
a 1942. uh war game and it's stand up you know

01:27:28.850 --> 01:27:30.729
with the joysticks and everything and it has

01:27:30.729 --> 01:27:34.729
like um uh 40 of the original games like galaga

01:27:34.729 --> 01:27:38.390
pac -man um uh defender all that stuff right

01:27:38.390 --> 01:27:41.869
okay i thought the grandkids would like hate

01:27:41.869 --> 01:27:44.189
that you know because it's old and the graphics

01:27:44.189 --> 01:27:47.949
aren't as good they love that thing it is surprising

01:27:47.949 --> 01:27:50.569
you know it's like wow they like that technology

01:27:50.569 --> 01:27:55.380
so you know The Michael Jackson thing? I was

01:27:55.380 --> 01:27:58.800
actually into video games. Yeah, the Michael

01:27:58.800 --> 01:28:00.699
Jackson thing, I guess, isn't that surprising

01:28:00.699 --> 01:28:05.739
because, you know... That came out of nowhere.

01:28:05.800 --> 01:28:09.640
He has to watch too much YouTube. Well, grandchildren

01:28:09.640 --> 01:28:15.979
are more like personality -wise. They did a lot

01:28:15.979 --> 01:28:18.199
of studies on this. are more like their grandparents

01:28:18.199 --> 01:28:20.939
than their parents. They do everything they can

01:28:20.939 --> 01:28:23.279
to defy the parents, but the grandparents are

01:28:23.279 --> 01:28:29.060
friends. So they're more apt to act like the

01:28:29.060 --> 01:28:31.359
grandparents. It's a weird deal, but it's like

01:28:31.359 --> 01:28:34.159
generational skipping, I think is what they call

01:28:34.159 --> 01:28:40.800
it. But anyhow, Dark Peppa the Pig is a fake

01:28:40.800 --> 01:28:45.760
YouTube video that targets kids and terrifies

01:28:45.760 --> 01:28:49.239
them. Twisty creators on YouTube are taking advantage

01:28:49.239 --> 01:28:52.140
of Peppa Pig's popularity, leaving children at

01:28:52.140 --> 01:28:54.939
risk of viewing inappropriate content. With its

01:28:54.939 --> 01:28:57.460
wholesome storylines documenting everyday family

01:28:57.460 --> 01:29:01.399
life, Peppa Pig is a children's TV staple, and

01:29:01.399 --> 01:29:03.359
there was much excitement recently when fans

01:29:03.359 --> 01:29:06.079
were treated to the arrival of a new member of

01:29:06.079 --> 01:29:11.689
the family, a baby girl piglet named Evie. Evie

01:29:11.689 --> 01:29:14.350
LePig. But while the show itself is universally

01:29:14.350 --> 01:29:17.090
trusted by parents, watching it on YouTube can

01:29:17.090 --> 01:29:20.270
be a different matter. As a hugely popular cartoon

01:29:20.270 --> 01:29:23.350
for kids, Peppa Pig has been a target for twisted

01:29:23.350 --> 01:29:26.550
YouTube creators over the years. This week, a

01:29:26.550 --> 01:29:32.310
search by The Mirror found a clip called MLG

01:29:32.310 --> 01:29:35.430
Peppa Pig, it's a parody, was set within seconds,

01:29:35.550 --> 01:29:37.430
which showed the character holding a machine

01:29:37.430 --> 01:29:40.210
gun made eight years ago. It had been watched

01:29:40.210 --> 01:29:43.470
18 million times. A second disturbing creation

01:29:43.470 --> 01:29:46.510
called Peppa Does Drugs showed the pig snorting

01:29:46.510 --> 01:29:50.180
cocaine. In response to our investigation, a

01:29:50.180 --> 01:29:52.479
YouTube spokesperson told us we removed both

01:29:52.479 --> 01:29:54.720
videos from YouTube and terminated the channel

01:29:54.720 --> 01:29:58.079
for violating our child safety policies, which

01:29:58.079 --> 01:30:00.859
we rigorously enforce. Neither of the videos

01:30:00.859 --> 01:30:03.119
shared by the mayor have ever appeared in the

01:30:03.119 --> 01:30:06.279
YouTube's Kids app or recommend the experience

01:30:06.279 --> 01:30:09.979
for younger viewers. So, just kind of like an

01:30:09.979 --> 01:30:15.180
informative story, but also make you think. YouTube...

01:30:16.200 --> 01:30:19.220
If you don't control and watch what they're doing,

01:30:19.359 --> 01:30:22.539
they can find stuff like this. Pepple of pigs

01:30:22.539 --> 01:30:25.579
snorting cocaine or shooting people with a machine

01:30:25.579 --> 01:30:27.640
gun. Probably not the best thing for kids to

01:30:27.640 --> 01:30:32.699
see, wouldn't you think? Yeah. Yeah, so, anyhow.

01:30:33.399 --> 01:30:36.079
Rob, it's almost 9 .30. Do you want to keep going

01:30:36.079 --> 01:30:39.520
or do you want to shut this show down? I need

01:30:39.520 --> 01:30:43.310
to shut it down. All righty. All righty. Hey,

01:30:43.350 --> 01:30:46.869
everybody, thank you for listening. Good night,

01:30:46.909 --> 01:30:54.510
assholes. Good night, assholes. Oh, no. Looks

01:30:54.510 --> 01:30:57.329
like the show's over, kids. Mark has explosive

01:30:57.329 --> 01:31:01.010
diarrhea and can't afford a wireless mic. Fear

01:31:01.010 --> 01:31:03.430
not, assholes. They'll be back invading your

01:31:03.430 --> 01:31:04.210
ear holes soon.